#also dairy and maybe candy

[threadmonster]

I've actually been doing well with dietary changes and actually feel excited. This is great! (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠)

[suzukiblu]

Day two NaNoWriMo; obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

"Well, you are the plan guy," Kon says, grinning again and pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. "Supreme?" 

"Works for me," Tim says. It's meat and dairy and bread and vegetables and Kon is probably invulnerable to heart disease, so he figures that's basically health food to him, right? Especially if he needs more calories than the average guy. 

Pizza's sure as shit gonna be more satisfying than a protein bar, if nothing else. 

Tim's definitely ordering like, breadsticks or wings or something too. And maybe a two-liter or two. Cinnamon bread. Something. Hell, he'll buy all that and then some if he has to. He's got the money. 

Who the hell decided it was okay to let this happen? Really. Is there literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation? Dubbilex was made by Cadmus too and has his own issues with managing to have an out-of-lab life, Rex Leech is apparently out of the picture, which might be a blessing anyway, Tana Moon is equally MIA, and Superman has apparently lost his entire damn mind, so . . .

There's literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation, is there. There's no irresponsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation. As far as Tim knows, every single other one Kon knows is either Cadmus-employed or a supervillain or just completely uninvested in his existence. 

Maybe Tim should be talking to Red Tornado about this. Is this something he should be talking to Red Tornado about?

. . . sure, that'd help. Red Tornado is about five minutes back into being a person and has Traya and Kathy and the whole team to worry about, and absolutely could handle something like this while also trying to figure out his own shit and keep an eye on all the rest of them too. Sure. That'd work. 

This is a problem, Tim thinks. 

This is a definite problem, in fact. 

He has no idea what to do about this problem, though, so he just orders a truly inadvisable amount of pizza and wings and double-iced cinnamon bread for pickup. They've done weirder than get takeout in the Super-Cycle and they'll do weirder again. Besides, it could use the . . . exercise, or whatever that counts as. Not like the Super-Cycle has muscles, but it does get tired sometimes and seem to appreciate getting out and–well, whatever. That's just something to figure out later, probably. 

Tim really should figure that out, though. And also if the Super-Cycle is gonna be down for going supervillain, because yeah, that's obviously a thing to keep in mind. 

He flies it to the pizza joint, and spends the flight casually grilling Kon about his coworkers and employee benefits and the Cadmus security systems. The answers are: a lot of lab-born clones and too many grown-ass adults who have no excuse not to know better, work-related health care and nothing else, and Kon and Guardian, mostly. And also some random weird death traps and a couple of cameras here and there, apparently, but it all sounds incredibly dated to Tim's ears and it really seems like Kon and Guardian are taking on the lion's share of everything more complicated than watching a feed or flipping on an alarm system. Like, it really does. 

So that's not great. 

"Jesus, man, how much did you order?" Kon snorts with a laugh while Tim's paying the girl at the drive-up window in cash. He doesn't really want to explain this particular expense on the Bat credit card. Generally he doesn't want to explain takeout and junk food on there at all, in fact, though obviously he makes a point of going to Batburger with Steph once a month, just to hear Bruce sigh about it later. Appropriate teenage nonsense and all. He gets the kids' meal and the terrifyingly purple Spoiler shake every time. It tastes like acidic cotton candy. Yes, literally. "Like just the whole menu or what?" 

"Of course I did. I've got a Kryptonian to carry it all for me, don't I?" Tim replies with a smirk he doesn't really feel after everything he's learned today. Everything Kon just told him, because he doesn't see what's wrong with any of it. 

It reminds him of the abused kids he meets on the job who insist they're fine, and they don't need Batman and Robin to save them. 

He wonders if Jason was like that, when Bruce first met him. 

He also wonders if he maybe did over-order a little on the pizza, but worst case scenario the leftovers should fit in the fridge. 

. . . maybe, anyway. Probably. 

Mostly? 

Kon immediately cracks into the cinnamon bread on the flight back because he has absolutely no manners whatsoever, and Tim rolls his eyes at him and tries not to visibly brood over the five-alarm fire burning down his brain right now. 

He just . . . doesn't understand how Superman is apparently just fine with this situation. He doesn't even understand how Kon is fine with this situation, but is increasingly certain that the answer to that might just be that Kon doesn't think he has another option. 

He doesn't have another option, as far as Tim can tell. What would he do, crash at the base and just mooch off everyone else for food and gear and whatever else he needs day-to-day? 

Yeah, not exactly a sustainable lifestyle, that. 

Not even a little bit of one. 

Technically, Tim could just pay for whatever Kon needed, between his allowance and his trust fund and without even taking his Bat-stipend into account, but there is no possible way Kon would ever actually go for that. He's way too proud, and even someone with no pride at all would probably find "please let me pay you to quit your horrible job" a hard pill to swallow from a teammate, much less the leader they only barely recognize the authority of.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo have a messy scribble page of oc concepts. unfortunately, im in love and will now proceed to ramble At Length

but before that! rudimentary height chart!

all i know rn is Mairy - the cow - is about the same height as Howdy/Barnaby/Poppy (around 8ft), Hettie & Daisy are in the Wally/Julie/Sally category (around 3ft), and Jesterly is more Frank/Eddie (around 4ft). Derry Drake is fuckoff huge, and Casey is... idk really. tall but not That tall

so. rambles. i... have those, yeah

Mairy Love - she/her - lesbian a gorgeous white/blue cow! originally she was gonna be pink/white, but blue/white is my favorite color combo and honestly? it's dairy colors to me. she's big! she's strong! she's very gentle and sweet but also takes shit from no one, even though she doesn't like confrontation much (unless its playful roughhousing! jokes fly completely over her head! i'm thinking she tends to a lovely orchard of various fruit trees, and probably cultivates some crops for fun as well. maybe seasonal ones? pumpkins for the spooky season, fir trees for those snowy days, etc.

Casey J. Mittens - he/him - aro this orange fella is scaredy cat central! unfortunately for him, he's also curious to a fault! curiosity killed the cat, and he fears the day that rings true for him! he'd rather curl up at home or in a cozy tree, crocheting something cute from one of his many balls of yarn than do anything else. he tries to be a voice of reason, but is too easily convinced otherwise. he's that friend who says "we shouldn't be doing this" as he wholeheartedly assists in the shenanigan in question.

Hettie (currently undecided) - she/her - bi true to her honeybee heritage, Hettie is a florist! she boasts an impressive array of flowers that she tends to like her life depends on it. she's always running around to make sure they're all getting the best care - and she's always checking in on her pals to make sure they're taken care of, too. she's a busy bee who wouldn't know a day's rest if it stung her on the ass! It takes a lot to make her mad, but everybody better watch out when her wings start buzzing

Daisy Hop - she/him - pan i actually created Daisy as a supplementary character for a certain au, but realized i could find a place for her in this little group. i'm thinking he runs a little shop - a roadside stall, more like - where she can both sell her own homemade candy & his friends' stuff! she's the only one in the group that can keep up with Hettie's energy, and even surpass it at times. though unlike Hettie, Daisy knows how to take (and appreciate) a break!

Jesterly - whatever/is/funniest - Derry a menace. they love pranks above all else, oftentimes at the expense of others. he's always up to something and is never not scheming something! there's always Someone to bother! in all honesty she's more like an annoying stray cat that no one can get rid of... and they better not try, or they'll face the wrath of this fool's Very large partner! The jester's cap never comes off, and neither does the mask!

Derry Drake - they/them - Jesterly there's no sugarcoating it - Derry is a big lazy grump! it's almost impossible to get them out of their cave, or off of any place they decide to nap. the only thing that can reliably get them moving is the promise - or prospect - of food. it's a wonder how they've accumulated such a hoard of random things in the back of their cave, seeing as they rarely get up at all. they're incredibly nearsighted and bite first, ask questions later - after all, who knows if the colorful blob in front of them is food or not! better to be safe than hungry!

currently in my mind they have their own little community deep in the woods. Daisy lives in a modified burrow, Maisy has a cute farmhouse, Casey lives in a cozy treehouse, Hettie has a small cottage, and Derry & Jesterly live in a cave. within their community, they share practically everything. want a snack? pluck something from the orchard. need a new pair of mittens? ask Casey! i suppose you could say they're communists <3 (except for Daisy. she won't charge his friends, but anyone else is free game)

Mairy and Hettie have romantic tension, Daisy and Derry are the only ones who can tolerate Jes, Mairy wants Jes dead, Casey is terrified of Derry, Daisy's rapid-fire speech confuses everyone but Hettie, etc. i should make a chart for funsies...

[wordy-little-witch]

ODA!!!!!! GIVE ME A GHOST POV OF ROGER AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!!

Fr tho, Ghost Roger being a lil shit is a treat.

I can fuxking see Roger give Buggy the wiggly eyebrows on day when Crocodile and Mihawk are in the same room. (Maybe it was the first day those two subconsciously nicer to Buggy)

Coff coff ((They started to love the clown)) coff coff

Hell, Perona coming in with a letter to Mihawk from one of the spirits that asked for him specifically.

Mihawk: clown?

Buggy: hmn?

Mihawk: who is 'Ms.Rouge'?

Buggy : -choke-

Afterlife be dammed, she may have not raised Buggy, but Rouge loves him like her kin!

LITERALLY YES YOU GET ME

Also Roger just "eyy?? Eyyyy???????" Is fucking hysterical to me.

Buggy is blindsided when Crocodile drops off an extra cup of coffee at his desk, when Mihawk deposits a few snacks. He's pointedly not looking into Roger's Corner, something he has been doing for ages and will continue to do. It all comes to a head when someone offers Buggy a candy at a negotiation dinner and he's partway through unwrapping it when he hears three voices tell him to stop. Mihawk reaches out, Crocodile's sand whisks the little treat from his fingers to the other.

A quick glance reveals Roger still partially glaring at the other group but also giving considering glances to the quote unquote lieutenants.

Buggy is just confused.

"This brand is rather popular in the north blue," Mihawk remarks casually, turning the candy in his hand. He never once looks up from the wrapper - Buggy wonders what he's looking at or looking for. "They've been in business for decades now, despite the uproar some thirty one years ago."

The dealers avert their eyes, hesitant and stuttering timid agreements.

Mihawk continues. "Rather odd that they'd only list a partial ingredient list on their wares, wouldn't you think? They are marketed as a dynamic company, but their synthetic flavors are but mere facsimiles of the real deal - fakes built upon, more disgustingly, the lies they print on such foils." He flips the candy, dropping the little morsel onto a napkin so he can straighten the wrapping. "See, it even boasts to be free of common allergenic ingredients: peanut oil, dairy, fruit juices. That's the real ingenuity however."

Sharp golden eyes cut into the opposition.

"So long as a company is favored by those on high, they can skirt certain rules. They barely toe the line in the world government's book as is, but they are an infamous vendor in Marie Geoise. No peanut oil but still peanuts. No dairy, but traces of lactose. No fruit juices but concentrated extracts are certainly abundant. And all of their tropical lines contain a key ingredient. Did you know?"

Buggy very adamantly stomps down on the urge and need to blush and swoon as he watches Mihawk and Crocodile tear these people a new asshole over pineapple extract. Roger's approving nod and bouncing brows do NOT help the situation. Nor does Rouge's fond head pats and succinct "I approve, they're good for little bug."

Buggy is suffering.

<><><><><><><><><>

On the topic of Rouge, YEAH!!! She may have met Buggy after death, but she already loved him so much. She knew loving Roger meant stepping into an established family and she was very much okay with that! She knew Ace would have brothers and she would have step sons and not once did she hesitate. Roger was big, bold and loud - he loved with all he had and then some, even to disastrous results. She adored him. And she trusted him. He has a good sense of taste, after all.

So when she met Buggy the first time, she absolutely went into Mom Mode immediately. It was awkward and strange for a deal of time, and Buggy took a while to come around to her but Ms Rouge is his mom as much as Captain is his dad - it's a fact of life and he's long since lost the self consciousness of it all.

But hearing your boyfriend mention receiving a letter from your shared daughter who wrote it on behalf of your long dead mother, well.... weirder shit has happened but Buggy is a dramatic boy - it's his bit and he's committed to it.

Rouge's shovel talks are lowkey terrifying. She isn't as directly threatening as Roger. She's subtle, and observative, and she plots before springing her track. On that front, she may even be scarier than her husband.

And while she and Mihawk would absolutely get along well for their love of plants and gardening, they're equally likely to cross breed and make a lethal poison just because it "seemed interesting at the time".

((Bonus points of a semi related topic, sometimes Rouge sees so much of Roger in Buggy that she aches with it.

And sometimes Roger sees his wife in the movements and glint of his blue haired son's eyes.

Buggy's a product of both, for better or worse, and it's somehow incredible and horrible in equal measure))

[oh-surprise-its-me]

I just had a thought: Librarian!Roy owning this cozy bookshop which is the best. Gay friendly, cool spaces to read, etc. He's often just reading a book at the counter or fixing books around the store.

And here comes Tattoo Artist!Jamie who moves into the neighborhood with his cool shop just across the way from Roy's shop.

Jamie loves having his own business. He worked hard to learn all the things and ends up with a great clientele.

Roy looks up from his book one day and notices Jamie watering a plant or something, he's talking to it and smiling so beautifully and Roy just stares because he never noticed him and now all he can do is notice.

Obviously Jamie has noticed the fit librarian across the way. He wondered if he had any ink and decides to come introduce himself and offer him a discount or maybe a free tattoo of whatever he wants....

It's a pretty good thought, don't you think? 😉

OH MY GOD LISSIE BRAIN ROT ALL DAY FOR THIS-

-

Jamie can’t help it. He knows there’s better ways to do this but fuck him that man’s sweaters should be illegal. He takes a breath. He spins the coffees again. Soy milk. One iced one hot. No nut flavorings. All his bases should be covered.

He pushes the door to the shop open. He gasps. The shop looks incredible. There’s leather couches and soft looking chairs everywhere in between the shelves of books.

“Can I help you?”

Jamie spins. He The man is standing at the top of stairs Jamie missed. “Oh! Uh. I wanted to give you coffee? Maybe talk some? I own the tattoo shop across the street.”

Roy blinks down at him. “I know.”

Jamie ducks his head. “I know. Pretty obvious with all my arms covered huh?” Roy gives him a small smile. “No pretty obvious because I’ve watched you move things outside to catch rain. Cute plants.”

Jake can’t help but let his mouth drop open. He goes to offer the coffee but the man cuts him off. “I can’t have dairy. Also my name is Roy.” Jamie grins, and offers the hot drink. “Soy milk. Wanted to cover all my bases. I’m Jamie.”

They go and sit down the one couch pushed to the side.

-

By the end it’s dark outside. Jamie stretches his legs out. He sighs. Long walk home. “I should go before it gets darker this was great though.” Roy gives him a small smile. Jamie’s learned those are the real ones. “Or you could come up and stay for dinner?” Roy winces. “Unless I read this wrong.”

Jamie can’t believe it. He shoves the pillow he was holding to the floor and grabs Roy’s hand. “Not at all. Desperately want to kiss you.” Roy grins he brushes the hair out of Jamie’s eyes. “Then why haven’t you?” Jamie lunges forward.

It’s a good first kiss. Roy tastes like the peppermint candies he likes eating. Jamie knows he probably tastes like the nicotine gum he chews. Apparently Roy doesn’t mind though because he moans and leans into the kiss.

They pull apart breathless, “dinner?” Jamie laughs, “gonna make me wait?” Roy pulls Jamie up and takes him to the stairs, “at least until after dinner. I’m a girl with class you know.” Jamie laughs again, he can’t believe Roy likes him. Roy likes him!

“Come on pretty boy stop staring at my ass get a move on.” Jamie jolts in place, he takes the rest of the stairs two at a time. Roy catches him around his waist and pulls him in for another kiss before unlocking the door.

Jamie can’t wait to see where this goes.

[sonderfairy]

What would fern think about strawberry milk

also, what would they think about cookie/cake/other sweets flavoured tea? (This does not include licorice root tea, as that tastes very very very different I speak from experience.)) You either love cookie tea or you hate it and are so confused by it. And I earn stuff like the sugar cookie sleigh ride tea.

OH WOULD FERN LIKE BOBA LMAO THATS SO FUNNY TO ME JUST HIM DISCOVERING BOBA JSDHFGFGFGFG “Arcade, why is my tea squishy?” SHDBFBFBFB it would probably get caught on his teeth tho…. NOW IM IMAGINING JUST FERN. WITH BOBA PEARLS ON HIS CANINES AJSHBGBBFFB

I am abusing the ask box privileges but like

tea preferences are very important.

also I think Arcade would have either the most ungodly amount of sugar or only drink tea with milk and honey (not to say he’s not right about this one being good)

*flies away like that one stupid dorky mothman image*

I’m gonna leave this up to headcanon idk. All i can say for sure is Fern has a sweet tooth and is used to herbal flavors, and Arcade likes fruity tastes like mango, ube, strawberry, etc.

I think Fern would like strawberry and chocolate milk. But now that I think about it…moth fairies are probably very lactose intolerant because they don’t really have dairy products in Frenatae… oh man.

Maybe Fern could eat like a tiny bit of like cheese or milk chocolate candy but not like a whole glass of just milk-

[ratsoh-writes]

As y’all know, Underwest and baubletale are still open for questions!

Next in the work is hadaltale!

Now I need ideas for the last two AUs so if y’all have any throw them in the comments

What i have so far

A possible candy or dairy au. Maybe a culinary revolution with monsters behind the barrier as a coping mechanism. The sans and paps would own a creamery and have the best ice cream around, or candy shop

Nordic au? Monsters and humans have symbols of Nordic gods. A bombara idea ;) (also thank @bombora-bona for the bauble and hadal babes)

Could elevate the mafiaswapfell and mafiahorror extras and make them official. But that’s a backup idea, I’d rather introduce new AUs

[candied-boys]

Catboy Charles x F! Reader - Part 6

Tags: fluffy fluff, Charles likes his kibble still but not his clothes

Part 5

You did try to hide the kibble while he was napping. You really did. But it would seem his scent perception is just as good as a human as it was as a cat, and he easily finds the sealed bag under the kitchen sink behind the garbage pail while you're busying yourself hanging up the wet laundry.

“Are you hungry?” you ask when you return to the kitchen to put in another load only to find him sitting cross-legged on the hardwood, munching on handfuls of the stuff with a giddy smile like it's a bag of popcorn and not pet food.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺

“A little,” he answers meekly after the plastic crinkles loudly as he clutches it to his chest like you're going to rip it out of his hands.

You suppose he isn't used to asking for food since you always just left a bowl out for him to graze on throughout the day. Now you're going to have to feed him yourself, but the problem is what. He didn't like much of what you gave him at lunch, and beyond those fishy tubes snacks you don't know what he genuinely likes.

Kneeling down next to him you ruffle his hair, then reach into the bag to try one for yourself. Maybe it'll give you a clue as to why he's so fond of it.

It's not helpful. It literally just tastes like salt and dry cornmeal with a hint of mystery meat. You don't buy the cheapest, but you really can't afford the top grade food that's only sold at the vet's.

Sitting down and leaning into the cupboards with him, you pull out your phone and start looking up what cat food is made of, what cats eat on a natural diet, what they like and what they don't like. Unsurprisingly, the answer is mostly meat. Much to your disbelief, however, apparently cats can't taste sweetness. Entirely derailed by curiosity, you pull out a bag of candy you keep hidden in the back of the pantry and unwrap one each.

“Try this Charles and tell me if you like it!”

He takes it willingly and pops it in his mouth, but just shrugs after chewing.

When you ask what he tastes his answer is simple.

“Kind of like my food I was just eating?” With which he takes another handful of kibble and begins munching again.

You try again with a few grapes, but he's even less impressed. He doesn't mind the crackers, but he isn't fond of nuts. You already know he likes dairy and won't eat salad. Debating what vegetables might be palatable, you end up thinking about what pairs well with meat and stumble upon steak and fries, which are salty and bland like his kibble. Not as crunchy, but maybe he'd like it.

“I'm going to run out and pick up some dinner for us. Could you wait to eat more until I get back? If you don't like what I bring, you can keep eating your kibble,” you offer tentatively.

Charles nods and reluctantly hands you the bag, round eyes looking up into yours as he asks sheepishly, “Will I have to use a fork again?”

“Maybe, but you'll be okay, Minou,” you tell him truthfully and kiss his cheek.

At the same brasserie where you first met your little kitten, you order steak frites and also decide a hamburger might be a good backup too. While they prepare the order, you visit the corner store to hunt for anything else he might like - jerky, crisps, yogurt, dehydrated vegetables, and so on until your arms are full.

When you get home you nearly trip over Charles, who is lounging in the entranceway. You forgot your cat always waits for you by the door. You remind yourself you're going to have to talk to him about that, and many, many other things at some point.

But first, food.

Dinner passes with more ease than lunch. He likes the steak better, but ends up eating both the slices of meat and the fries with his fingers after watching you dip your potatoes in ketchup without touching a fork.

Exhaustion settles in sooner than most nights, and you find yourself washing up and showing him how to brush his teeth by nine o'clock. It turns out that, just like his tongue, his teeth are more catlike than human too. Though when you count them you find out he has thirty, which is more than you after getting your wisdom teeth removed.

With a few too many questions swirling in your head, you tell Charles through a yawn that you'll sleep on the sofa today.

“Okay me too,” he smiles contentedly.

“No, I meant you sleep in the bed and I'll sleep on the sofa, Charles,” you correct yourself.

“Why? We always sleep together…” Those round eyes and floppy tail are all too familiar.

“Yes, but you were smaller.”

Disappointment tugging his ears down now too, he protests, “There's enough room for two on the bed. You sleep with other guys on the bed.”

It's true. You sleep with total strangers from time to time, but that's precisely because you don't live together and have to face them the next day that you can. But trying to explain the complexities of maintaining a platonic relationship with the opposite sex while sleeping together in the same bed sounds like a horrible idea right now.

“You're not going to let me sleep alone, are you?”

“No. I want to sleep with you like always. I hate being alone…”

Relenting, you abandon the sofa in favour of the bed, eagerly crawling beneath the covers to embrace slumber.

“Why are you wearing clothes to bed? You never wear clothes…” you hear Charles ask as you pull up the blanket.

“Because you're here…” you mumble.

“I've always been here…”

“Yes…” Words are starting to fail you. “But anyway, this is more comfortable today.”

“Okay. Can I take mine off now? They're really uncomfortable…” he asks softly, clearly worried you'll say no.

Hardly awake, you don't even know what the question was by the time you answer, “Mhm, whatever you want, Charles.”

Part 7

[i-is-v-tired]

D20 theory time: Colin Provolone

I have seen a lot of people bring up the ex-noble theory and I personally love this theory Could Colin Provolone be a bastard? I think he is hiding because he is technically the last of the Fontina line.

In episode 1 and 2 he referenced being an orphan or coming from the streets. When he talked about not eating enough and tell Karna he knows what it is like to be on the streets.

My idea is that he is a bit younger then we think. So after the coup he hide as orphan child, in ACoC they talked about how small the Dairy Islands are and after Cal’s coup and Cinnamon’s destruction on port syrup that innocent people die in conflicts like that some child left parents less. So it would be easy to hide with the other orphan children. I think he is older then Deli but not by much. So 20s at least but I don’t see him breaking 30

He was quick to stay and aline with Deli.

He understands being close to a heir of tribe would inadvertently bring him protection from people looking for him but also being just a sword and working in the shadows would help bring cover for him. Deli can account for him/ who he is and no one would ask those questions to him. Him becoming Skald Provolone messes with him a little, but that’s still Deli giving him protection.

In episode two, he talks about people looking for him. When Deli asked “Is it someone you killed” only to responded “I don’t think I even really did anything”

This personally makes me believe in him being a bastard because he could literally have nothing to do with his royal family but just him being born would cause issues for the Fontina family and later the coup. However, for him, he in all reality didn’t do anything.

He recognized the banter but He is not used to being in the spot light nor prepared to announce or what to say or when to say it.

With ACoC being inspired by Game of Thrones, It makes sense for him being a part of the Fontina family in someway, but being a Jon Snow like part of it. This would lead to him being put to the side and never being involved in a court atmosphere.

His build shows someone that was trained and knows how to survive battle. Cunning Action, Mobil feat, and AC of 17 show he is going to be hard to hit and to keep in one spot.

With GoT inspired and going with the Jon Snow influence, him being trained makes perfect sense. And if he’s the only surviving member of the coup him, picking up the rogue aspects combined with the battle master. would give way to someone who’s battle smart but not courtly as a noble would be.

Some of these points might not really add to the theory. But I think it might explain why he ask a certain way.

He was creeped out by the Archbishop, paying so much attention to him 

(Honestly, I would be too.) This gives more evidence into him, trying to hide who he is. 

He is not a church going person, but he got serious enough to quick to pull a sword when he saw Karna’s magic. Then continued go so far as to threaten Karna even after it was explained as she was a miracle worker.

It would make since for him not to be church going or trust the church. In GoT people bastards/ people born out of wedlock from an adulteress situation are looked down on and considered a sin. Maybe he has had a bad experience with someone who was a miracle work for the Fontina

 I think it would be really cool to have a bastard character because we didn’t really see one in ACoC. The was everything with Jet, Ruby, and Saccharinne, but at the end of the day that didn’t matter really because they were all turn out to be legitimate and Ruby did want the candy crown. Yet this is just a theory by the end of the day so feel free to pick up this as you like or add to it. I am very interested to hear everybody else is theories.



[bonefall]

https://discover.grasslandbeef (.com) /blog/novolone-cheese-dairy-free-bone-marrow-cheese-recipe/

Heres a bone marrow recipe with 0 butter, it was the one i was looking at. It seems that it just uses the plantains as a mushy base but i didn't know if the clans have access to anything that can be mushified. I was also thinking if my clans have access to milk (one clan lives on mountains and are known for knocking goats over cliffs to kill them, although its dangerous since you can be the one thrown over instead) but i havent researched that entirely. And about the eggs, I actually did have that written down (its called Balut iirc), fermenting things by burying them came up a LOT and stuffing large organs like stomachs to cook whole came up too. Pemmican seems like something the clans would also eat, since its just dried meat, berries, and fat.

DEFINITELY gonna use that marrow recipe as a butter substitute, it seems like the marrow alone can be used as a butter... unsure about the cheese though, the plantain seems like a very important ingredient there as a binding agent, and my cats don't have those.

Could apples or pears be used instead? I don't think blackberries would have that same "consistency."

On Milk

It's in the realm of possibility for everyone else's Clans who live on farms or have a good relationship with feral goats to collect milk! Difficult, considering their paws aren't particularly dexterous, but possible if they figured out a good grip. Feral cats who live near elephant seals are also actually able to steal milk irl-- that's because an elephant seal nipple lactates in 'bursts' with no kneading required.

But my Clan cats will never have milk for two reasons

They don't like to spend time around humans or steal from them, unless they're SkyClan. Living too close to humans and their pets stresses them out. So Warrior Bites recipes will never use them, because they would not have a culinary use for things they do not encounter.

The logistics of taking milk are difficult. They'd need to keep the animal still, milk them into a bucket, and then be able to run with that container (possibly jumping over obstacles). Since my cats aren't living directly alongside these animals, they don't have technological development towards this. Maybe as a dare! But not enough to get used in official recipes.

I also just, personally, really don't like the idea of trying to force Clan Culture into being an arbitrary reflection of ours. I sometimes do funny little tidbits, memes, or jokes, y'know? Especially for names (in both English and Clanmew) because I love puns and it eventually becomes its own word. But something as big as including dairy products as a base ingredient in official Warrior Bites entries completely defeats the point of my project.

I'm not trying to reverse engineer human food for cats, like, make "versions" of popular people junk foods that they would never come up with if they weren't just mimicking twolegs. I wanna make Clan cat food. I wanna make food that's 75% what a cat in this culture would whip up if you gave them a brain and fire and only 25% still palatable to humans.

(examples of suggestions I get frequently that are a hard no: pizza, hot pockets, noodles, sandwiches, insert random farm vegetable, candy, plant-based dishes that contain absolutely no meat)

But!! This is taking my Clan's cultures into consideration! It makes perfect sense to have milk AND evolve lactose tolerance if your Clan's culture is keeping livestock! Be that their own herds, or living in tandem with human farms, etc.

ShepherdClan would be a serious vibe.

Stomachs, Balut, Pemmican

I ABSOLUTELY plan to make dishes that are like haggis, where you take a big organ, stuff it full of meat, and then roast the whole thing. A++++ S-rank stuff. That's exactly the sort of thing they'd get up to.

ShadowClan in particular also likes to experiment with fermentation, so I want to eventually give them "ratwurst" lmao, sausages made from the intestines of rats, packed with meats, and then fermented until hard.

Balut is an egg in late embryonic development. You get a little bite of yolk and a big bite of meat! It's absolutely something the Clans would get up to. Traditionally this is done with ducks, which are everywhere in the part of England so I can definitely imagine Clan cats stealing a couple eggs 'that won't even be missed.'

But you know what I'm going to do? Clan cats LOVE doing this with cuckoo eggs most of all. Especially in ThunderClan and SkyClan. They'll inspect the nests of songbirds, and if they see a cuckoo, just take it and incubate it themselves. Just enough until it's maximum delicious.

They have a cultural love of songbirds, so they have a vested interest in protecting them from brood parasites which kill the other eggs.

And pemmican? Totally a ThunderClan thing. Funfact I decided that it's Ivypool's favorite food, she seems like she'd like something a little chewy.

[rotting-ink]

Very nsfw ask here. Maybe too nsfw!

What are the RO’s favorite foods?

woah hey, we like it catholic here!! way TOO nsfw

anyway:

L Rawlins loves big roasts, the type of meats that need carving. Also has a secret love for spice cakes but shush. Loves beer too. They eat a LOT of meat.

Seir doesn't HAVE to eat anything. But it doesn't mean they'll refrain from eating lots of spiced meats. And vodka. They also have a strong love for citrus fruits.

S Della Rovere loves Blood Type B. Yum.

V De Winters has a colossal sweet tooth. Candied almonds and petals and sugar plums and sweat meats and turkish delight- Good god, please, your snack budget is insane.

Z Chambers remembers having a love for fish, gently roasted after being hand caught. Just a bit of mint on top. They don't have to eat anymore, but sometimes, if they just think hard enough about it... They can remember the taste.

Saleos, again, doesn't HAVE to eat. But has a preference for Fowl, mussels and eggs. Their slow smile at a little roast bird and the twinkle in their eyes reminds you of their mink form, doesn't it?

Starling Knight prefers fruits. Loves peaches the best. Also would never ever turn down a Whiskey. Slip that doctor a biscuit for the love of god.

A Lancaster loves their tea. Always wants the teapot hot for a fresh cup. A muffin. If they could eat nothing but breakfasts foods, they would.

D. Woolf loves pastries. Cream filled, fruity, anything with that light flaky crust. Sadly, their spending money never truly covers these snacks like they wish it could.

E Rawlins loves meat. L would have to bully them into actually eating their vegetables so they don't somehow get scurvy on land. That and gingerbread. They were a terror when they were kids and spent Weihnachten with extended family.

Quincy Beaumont also has a love for sweets but mostly likes their drink. Spiced wine and cider most of all. They mostly drink hot water with lemon and refrain from anything with dairy. Can't have anything impacting their voice, can they?

[dimension20npcofalltime]

Round Four - Bracket Five [Dimension 20 NPC of All Time]

The Cubbys vs Annabelle Cheddar

Descriptions under the cut

The Cubbys

Campaign: Fantasy High, The Seven (Bud Cubby)

Who are they?

The Cubbys are a family of openly political halflings that help the Bad Kids after their encounter with Johnny Spells.

Why are they the NPCs of All Time?

Submitted by: @sentient-mushroom, @xvynth

Annabelle Chedder - She/Her

Campaign: A Crown of Candy

Who is she?

Captain Annabelle Cheddar is captain of her ship the Colby, which she inherited from her father. She is the previous heir to House Cheddar and the Dairy Islands, and cousin to the current Duchess, Primsy Coldbottle.

Why is she the NPC of All Time?

"One of my absolute favorites. Is it because she’s a super hot pirate woman who could snap my neck with her thighs? Maybe. But she’s also gutsy, kind, and good leader, and I just love every scene she’s in."

"Hot lesbian cheese pirate. Need I say more?"

"Your highness, my thighs ARE weapons." ― Captain Annabelle Cheddar

Submitted by: @nccseventeenohdone, @limulusamebocytelysate and Anonymous

[doberbutts]

Additional "eventually" cooking projects:

Replace white flour with oat flour in baking when possible (yummy!!! I learned how to make oat flour out of regular oats with my food processor and now I use exclusively oats and oat flour when making oatmeal baked goods like cookies and muffins and breakfast bars)

Figure out how to make rice flour (fantastic corn starch replacement, sadly expensive as hell)

How to grow basic pantry fresh items, like garlic, spring onions, and ginger. Maybe parsley rosemary and thyme (but no sage, see what I did there, also sage is gross), are bay leaves easily kitchen or backyard growable? Them too if so. And I guess invest in a mortar and pestle for grinds.

How to carmelize and candy ginger, for ginger-based sweets

So I can *buy* white chocolate that's dairy-free but do you think I could *make* it???

Anyone remember those big peanut butter cookies that you get in school lunch and at gas stations, hard on the outside but soft and almost gooey on the inside? They were like an inch thick and 4-5 inches across? I have a mighty need to figure out how to make them and possibly a sugar, snickerdoodle, and oatmeal variant.

Moonshine fudge. I buy it from a supplier but it's very expensive so I'm interested to learn how to make it myself. Obv non-chocolate varieties- they were making this cotton candy variety I bought all the time but they rotated that out and I want more.

[shadowredfeline]

Two in One Post

Two Responses to both my Filipino Friend and my A-Pal

First Response

Normally to tell you guys that I like eating both those candies. When I was little, I wasn't a fan of eating M&Ms, and when I got into Kindergarten, I got used to eating Skittles and they taste really good. But now that I'm old enough to remember my taste buds, I can now eat both Skittles and M&Ms. But the only Skittles I like eating are Original, Dark Side, Wild Berry and Maybe Tropical. And for M&Ms, all I can eat is Milk Chocolate, Crispy, and Crunchy Cookie. Normally the Pretzel flavor is okay, but I don't like eating candy that tastes too Sweet and Salty, much like eating Sea Salt or making Pretzels in Animal Crossing New Horizons with Flour and sugar. But when my mom and I went to a Dollar store, my brother and I checked out the M&Ms Ice Cream Sandwiches. I like the normal vanilla alongside Cookies and Cream.

Second Response

I also wanted to tell you guys that I also had Charley's before. I go to the mall all the time and their food tastes really good. Especially the Sandwiches and I had a Buffalo Spicy Chicken a couple of times. And their fries taste good as well. But I do like Cheese steaks too, but I usually eat my sandwiches without the onions. I'm not a big onion person. And what I did notice is that when I was at Walmart, some of their fast food places are different compared to what fast food places they got. They used to be just McDonald's, but I think Walmart stopped the agreement with McDonald's and that some McDonald's restaurants can stay, but all the Restaurants are Different when I was in my State, AZ. Say the one by my House still has a McDonald's as well as for Glendale and Peoria, and for Maryvale, they have a Dairy Queen, Christown has a Krispy Crunchy Chicken which I had before, and two Walmarts have a Subway including when my Sister just moved over to CO, they have a Subway at Walmart. And some Walmarts in AZ did bring in Mall Related Restaurants like Charley's and Wrestle Pretzels. But right now some of the Walmart all had Charley's and I do enjoy that restaurant ever since I was in Highschool. And that's all I remember since Charley's food is really good. 😋

[raising-harmony]

Aww, sweet pea... We should get him a prize after the evaluation! What things does he like? I'm sure we can make something lovely for him!

This isn't a bad suggestion. Having something to look forward to afterward would probably make it much more worthwhile for him. Let me think. I could probably list a few different things he likes.

Snack-wise, he loves berries- namely pecha. Maybe that's how he got his second name.. hm. Anyway. He enjoys them plain, but he's practically over the moon whenever he has a chance to have candied ones. His sweet tooth is just terrible. He also loves dairy-free chocolate ice cream.

His favorite activity right now would be puzzles. Any kind, really. He has this strange cube he's held onto for as long as I have known him, somewhat like a Menger sponge, though it has moveable pieces he can slide around. Not to mention, as all of you have seen before, he tends to get himself into Colress's devices (with permission.. usually.) and tries to disassemble them just so he can see how they work. Those are much like puzzles to him, as he's very mechanically inclined and curious. Things like trains and cars all fascinate him.

If you do get him some kind of toy, make sure it's quiet, if not silent outright.

[violent-backed-starling]

Okay, this one is a bit odd, but bear with me. What if Lapin was one of Joren's partners, and thus one of Liam's many parents.

There are several spoilers for a Crown of Candy under the cut, proceed at your own discretion.

So my thoughts are that in this AU Lapin never messed with the SPF and thus isn't a Warlock, but I think he would make an awesome College of Lore Bard. That way he could still have access to fly at the sixth level and that he is a charisma based spellcaster. Basically Lapin would be getting magic by preserving the stories of the ancestral spirits of each of the different countries in Comida.

I personally think that he would have a special focus into the spirits of the Dairy Isles and the Sweetening Path. The Sweetening Path is obvious, given where he's from. The Dairy Isles is because they are Candia's allies and that they ate receptive to his work in a way that Vegetania for sure wouldn't be. He also occasionally goes over to the Meatlands, but not as much as the Isles.

I think that since Lapin visits the Dairy Isles so much he does get to know young Annabelle Cheddar and maybe Duchess Primsy. He grows close to them and is kind of a family friend. I think he would also be keeping his ears open for news on the Witch Queen of the Dairy Sea when whe grows more prominent. Maybe he is even pencils of sorts with Saccharina, but he doesn't know she is Amethar's kid, just that she cares for magic and that is something he can get behind.

Now Lapin's relationship to Joren, his other partners, and his kids is sort of complicated. He isn't dating many of Joren's partners. Just Spearia and maybe one other, an orange person, I think. But he does get on with all of them. He does have favorites of the children and Liam is up there, he might be the favorite, but Lapin does like some of the children that got married pretty well. Liam is for sure his favorite that still lives at home which is why he volunteered to go with him and Preston to Castle Candy to be Amethar's ward.

Lapin spends a good amount of time with Liam when he is at Castle Many-Licks. He spends time walking in the woulds with Liam and treats his scrapes and bruises with magic. He tells Liam bedtime stories after he has nightmares as well they are just pretty close whenever Lapin is home and when he isn't he sends many letters to Liam as well as his lovers.

Lapin is not widely known as one of Joren's partners as they aren't in a Bulbian marriage, but they aren't hiding it. So most people assume that Lapin is one of Joren's advisors or an ambassador to the Dairy Isles. So that is the guise he uses to go with Liam. He just pretends that he is there to help Liam learn and is like his personal tutor. Lapin likes to go under the radar and also it means that he Theo can snipe at each other freely. If Theo knew Lapin was partners with Joren you know they wouldn't be getting in those arguments.

So there are two ways I see this AU going. The first is pretty similar to the events of Canon, where Lapin still dies and all that but Liam is sadder and they have to explain the loss to Joren. So Liam sending Preston after Lapin is also a little more tragic because in this AU I headcanon that getting Liam a pig was Lapin's idea. Like Spearia wanted to get him an animal but didn't know which animal and Lapin suggest a pig that was known for rooting which was something that Liam was passionate about. So in the Cathedral both of Liam's ties to his home and childhood are effectively ripped away from him.

But everything else is relatively the same. Liam still runs into him and Preston in the SPF's lair post battle, that reunion is just a little more soft and them leaving is a little more sad. Also Saccharina finding out what happened to her kind penal might make it even harder to dissuade her from absolutely destroying the Bulbian Church, not that she doesn't have a good enough reason already.

The other way is more fun and I think it means everyone lives because they deserve happiness dammit! So my thoughts are that in the cathedral fight he still casts fly on Theo, but he could cutting words one of Keradin's attacks and survive that first round and then disengage with that fucking carrot. He could get in a mass healing word with a bonus action, that is if he retains concentration on fly on Theo. If he keeps concentration then Theo could come back and get him and they all get away from the cathedral. If he doesn't then he can cast fly on himself and they all get away from the cathedral.

I think that since they all survive, but Lapin did step in and take hits that were meant for Liam that he would keep close to his dad. And after they made it back to Castle Candy that if both he and Jet didn't want to go the the lingerie shop that Ruby wouldn't have gone and thus Jet lives. (They would still meet Cumulous during the attack on Primsy) The kids, Lapin, Theo, Cumulous, and Caramelinda all get out through the secret passages and meet Amethar at the base of the tower before totally slipping away to Manta Ray's ship.

They still meet Saccharina the same way, but she is met with a better reception because Jet is still alive. Ruby and Jet would be thrilled to have another sister and Saccharina is so cool. Amethar is happy to have another daughter. Caramelinda is still fairly cold, but you know her entire life had been turned upside down so I think she is allowed to be a little distant. Also Saccharina already has a friend amongst the party in Lapin. Also the other boys were happy enough to accept her in the campaign as it was.

The rescue mission for Joren leads to the rest of the party (apart from Liam) finding out that Lapin and Joren slam it down big style. (Theo practically implodes when he finds out that he was sniping at one of Joren's lovers.) I think this whole seen would be hilarious. (Also after the rescue Joren totally kisses Lapin in front of everybody.)

I think that everything else is pretty similar except that final battle goes by a little quicker and is more in their favor because of Lapin and Jet.

That's all folks!