#also continue some habits i formed over the past few years

[guess-my-next-obsession]

joel begins the habit of picking up a book here and there, so during the reader’s birthday, he gifts her a book he read and annotated because that fucking shit is so cute

The Gift

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader (Elementary-verse)

rating: F (no warnings besides elementary!joel being impossibly perfect, also didn’t proofread or edit!)

wc: <1k

series masterlist | joel masterlist

He was never much of a reader, not as a kid, definitely not as a teenager, and even in college he only read what he had to. When Sarah was born, he read to her every night, no doubt forming her love of books from an early age. As she grew up and the material grew with her, he attempted to read along but quickly found he much preferred non-fiction over the young adult novels she liked so much. But when he met you and consequently became roped into your weekly book club—starting with Sense & Sensibility—everything changed.

Now, he wanted to read, wanted to enjoy what you enjoyed, constantly searching the bookstore he’ take Sarah to every month for books he’d think you’d like so that he could gift you with something you hadn’t read before, not realizing just how much of a challenge that would prove to be.

Eventually, he stopped looking for books he thought you’d like and started simply shopping for himself. He was surprised at the collection he’d accumulated in the three years of being with you—of becoming a bookworm just like you and his daughter. He’d go through a book a week, often staying up past his bedtime when the material was gripping enough to warrant it. He’d even make little annotations in the margins, jotting down quick thought or connections to the earlier plot, but more often he wrote of how the text reminded him of you.

He found it near impossible to read fiction and not find glimpses of you in the sea of black print, detailed descriptions of a new spring day or pretty dialogue spoken between two lovers always pulling his mind to you. In the blank margins he’d write to you as if he planned for you to read them, as if it were a letter, “You’d roll your eyes at me if I said that.” and “You’re going to laugh, but I cried at this part while you were sleeping.” in messy cursive along the pages.

One night, a few weeks before your birthday, a lightbulb went off in his brain as he began to worry about what he was going to get you. You didn’t like much unnecessary shit, preferring he gifted you an outing, something that would make a memory for the two of you to share. You didn’t want jewelry, he knew that for certain after making the mistake of buying you a pricey necklace for your first anniversary only for you to order him to take it back and use the money to take you and his daughter to San Antonio for the weekend instead. But one physical luxury you never turned down was a new book. He’d already planned a trip to Houston for just the two of you as a surprise, but what if he also compiled a stack of his three favorite books to gift to you? It would satiate his desire to give you something physical, something from him, and you couldn’t complain because, “Baby I bought these for myself, and now they’re all written on so I can take ‘em back.”

The day approached, Joel waiting until right before you hopped in his truck before offering you a wrapped pyramid of books tied together with a ribbon, an expectant smile on his face as you eyed the gift with a look of delighted surprise.

“What’s all this?” you asked, accepting the books into your hand as you leaned back into he open frame of the passenger side door.

“A gift,” he shrugged. “Sarah wrapped it up all fancy.”

“I guessed,” you smirked, turning to set the books down on the passenger seat, your fingers slipping to loosen the bow holding them together before carefully tearing off the pastel blue floral print of the wrapping paper.

“S’just some books I liked,” he continued, a hint of nervousness and God, I hope you like this in his voice. “You probably already have copies.”

It was true, you already owned The Great Gatsby, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Brave New World—Joel liked the classics best, it seemed—but yours didn’t feel as nice in your hands as Joel’s did. You liked the worn edges, the broken in spine, the rabbit ears that he made before you gifted him a bookmark from the school library. But most of all, you loved the scribbles of thoughts written over every plank space he could find, Joel’s words far more interesting and compelling than the book itself.

You studied all of them with awe, your eyes scanning the annotations quickly, seeing lots and lots of you in it. You were sure if you lingered to long on any single sentence you’d end up sobbing right there in the driveway, so you closed the book in your hand and set it down on top of the others before pulling Joel in tight.

“That was the best gift ever,” you mumbled as you held his face in your hands and pecked his lips. Joel grinned and backed you up against the side of the seat, pinning your body there while he gave you a real kiss, deep and slow, leaving you chasing after him when he pulled away.

“I love you,” he whispered through a smile.

“I love you.”

[spotaus]

*It seems you managed to stumble across a unique trio...

Decided to do a silly lil doodle of my favorite Dopple-trio! :D on the surface I feel like this'd be a daily occurrence. Kale is the most normal of the 3 of them, but I wanted to draw her and Paps having a cute lil conversation. (More ideas below the cut!!!)

Pretender regularly interacts with humans (his disguise slowly recovers, and he continues to mostly abstain from his old habits) and usually appears as "human" as long as he's out. Sometimes in public I feel like ppl would be willing to talk to him, and he's always quick to make it clear that to get to his family people would have to get past him. (Also I think in their neighborhood/town everyone gets increasingly confused because he regularly goes, "Yeah, that's my Kid" some days abd other days he's like, "That's my little sibling" and it's just that he's her guardian and the terms are kinda interchangeable because it's easier to use them than explain the whole situation lol)

Pretender also has no sense of fashion. He's always so close to a neat outfit then takes the wrong turn before he exits his closet lol.

Paps stays in skeleton form (at least for the first few years) even tho it's dangerous, because his human disguise is awful and makes K uncomfortable. Instead he trains genuinely with Undyne and Tender to properly figure out a human shape over about 4 years. Eventually he does have a human disguise, but he's contented in his monster form too.

K I can't say a lot for (beloved @oodlesndoodles is who designed/owns her!) But I'm pretty certain that she'd probably still wear her one monster-style outfit sometimes if only to show her solidarity with her family, or just to mess with people on the streets 🙏

Also:

I love the idea that someone talking to them would take in this info and be like ???????

Last Notes: Human!Pretender is one of my favorite blorbos ever to doodle! His hair texture is probably the most satisfying thing ever! Paps keeps miraculously looking good for this AU??? I've never been able to draw Papyrus before??? Idk what changed, but I love him! And KALE! K my beloved I have struggled so hard to doodle her well and usually fail but I think I did it!!! I love her sm...

[sonicasura]

'Kaiju flavored Cyberman assimilation soon' I can't put it in better words myself. And yeah No 9 is going to be messing with Kafka alright. No 9 is not gonna waste his new found knowledge thats for sure. The Defense Force and Kafka are going to have some 'fun' dealing with kaijus that follow all too familiar path that the himbo knows did not end well for him and the other test subjects.

And the public has quite the reaction. Despite Kafka being the reason the city still stands and only a quarter of it got destroyed (luckly only the outskirts parts). They don't exactly have a very good reaction to him. That being said, Mina and the others have had a few years to train Kafka for something like this, so Kafka knows how to act and behave for the months it takes for things to clam somewhat down.

It takes away a lot of the anger and criticism the public has about it. And with his natural charm, Kafka's is slowly making people change their opinion as he continues to be used for various mission all over Japan over the next few years. All but the Thrid and First Divisions are in for a whiplash that will leave them winded with how Kafka seems to upend their world view of the kaijufied himbo.

The offical Defense Force gear is quite something. It not only brings some peace for the public but it also makes Kafka look pretty good too. Tiny especially likes it as it reminds him of the samurais of his past. He even change Kafka's armour a bit to better fit and protect the himbo too, as the vest and collar also add some extra protection as well.

Awkward is a word that fits alright. And yeah I think she'd get something he likes or can comfort him would be the best bet. A cake might work as well. Though it might have to be one of those wedding sized cakes for Kafka to truely enjoy it. Like many seems to hc, Kafka needs a lot of calories as a kaiju now. And of course eats kaiju meat as well to survive. The Monster Sweepers has quite the day whenever the Third request them to save a good chunk of the meat from the lates kill.

You can imagien how they felt when they learned it was because they needed to feed the kaiju know as No 8 and gained the title The Thrid's Oni by the public. They also don't react well when it also leaks to the public on who No 8 really is and about the Mirage Company.

Yeah that bit gets exposed. Kafka is not having the greates of times when that happens to be honest.

It's hard to be afraid of something when the fear in question acts so goofy and sweet. That's Kafka in a nutshell. A sweet, kind and silly man no matter the form. Tiny would approve of the extra protection on his host considering that self destructive habit the poor himbo developed under stress.

I can imagine the Sweepers wanting to see Kafka once they find out who No 8 really is. Honestly won't be surprised if they thought he was dead at first. The massive panic when that classified information reaches the public though... Yikes.

I honestly don't know what's worse for the Defense Force. This information getting out or more humans turned kaiju that keep cropping up. Mercy killing is more likely on the table as the variant No.9 will not be like Kafka.

[swimmingelectron]

More chlonette/queen bug cz exams are coming and i do not want them to

Part 1

Lb now deals with two of her regular partners flirting with her

Hello, m'lady~

Hey, bug, need me?

Chloe legit did her homework the next day and complained to mari over call ab how hard it was

She realised she couldn't stop being mean to everyone simply out of habit, so she just straight up started being mean about things they shouldn't do.

Sabrina! You need to tell me if you can't do something.

Ugh, Kim, if you don't stop being so loud in class-

You're such a worrywart, marinette, maybe learn to live a little.

Sure, a lot of mistakes were made, but it was that much better being around chloe.

In just a few months, chloe proved adept at staying out of sight of akumatised victims and capable of shattering akumas on her own. Moreover, she was a great fighter, a good hero.

With time, the number of akumas targetting her went down to zero and she was almost a new person.

Then, one day, lb needed her for something different. She needed bee to find out chat's identity and pass him messages in his civillian form.

When chloe found out it was "ADRIKINS!?" she realised she couldn't possibly continue hating chat. But she also couldn't give lb up to him for grabs.

That's exactly what she told him.

Adrien, Chat. You've been my best friend since childhood. I've seen what you go through, with your fa-umm... what you've gone through since your mother's death.

If you ever need to talk about anything, you are always welcome. About anything at all.

Thanks, but i kinda already stop by mari's terrace to talk about my problems as chat. Of course, i haven't revealed my identity to her so maybe there are some things i can come to you about.

Righhhht. Hm- so another thing is, chat, i really like ladybug too. And i won't give her up to you without a fight. And I'll never lose to you!

XDXD Looking forward to it, your highness :)

Then on, queen bee would drop by at the bakery, through the front door, flowers for her buginette.

(I'd like to imagine chat also upped his game when he found out chloe was getting close to mari and brought his princess little trinkets.) (He wasn't aware she was also lb at all.)

With time, mari became fond of the bee buzzing around her everywhere.

Before either of them realised they were calling each other sweet treats and honey tart, bug and bee

Mari couldn't have pointed out when she fell, but at some point, she accidentally told queen bee she loved her as she left for home from the bakery.

Chloe carried that blinding smile all the way through the weekend and into school on monday. Sure, mari was an anxious wreck that whole week. Because what else would you expect out of her? But chloe? Chloe had learnt a new skill in the past year. The ability to stay hidden and melt into bright light. She became the white noise in marinette's life until mari couldn't help but feel comforted by her presence.

They started dating in secret in a few months. As lb and qb, they told chat. He was, well, depressed to say the least. He'd tell mari all about it, and mari couldn't help but feel guilty.

Chloe and mari had comforted him in the bakery more than once in the middle of their dates. Chloe could forgive him. She'd also be broken if mari chose him over her.

Chat never did get over lb, but he got better at putting his mask back on.

Meanwhile, the viewers get to realise something about marinette that is not too obvious in the show. Marinette is not a mary sue. She is stubborn, she needs things to go her way, and she doesn't think any of her partners are capable without instruction. Yes, she is a good leader, but she is a very, very bad standby observer.

Chloe and mari both value their freedom, they both don't like making too many compromises and they both prefer if things move according to their plan. So while chloe is quick to anger, marinette frets. They get into fights. Chloe uses insults as her weapon. Marinette launches into tirades or sasses her back.

The fights aren't frequent. Because both the girls do compromise to quite an extent; out of guilt, love, and empathy. But there are these other more frequent little squabbles between the two about little things.

One wanted a particular flower. The other can't afford a certain cafe. Marinette's morals, chloe's standards. Usually, marinette would bring chloe baked goods and chloe would give in.

All good, right? Well, everything keeps happening according to mari's wishes. Marinette rarely compromises on these. Rose accidentally points it out during a project one day.

It sort of breaks chloe when she realises. When she asks marinette, the girl points out she thinks it's because chloe realises she's wrong.

Chloe barely manages to keep her tears in check as she breaks up with marinette. Does mari still think she is better than chloe? Maybe. She goes straight home and locks herself in. After crying 2 days straight, she finds chat at her window. She can't tell him anything really. But the support is good enough.

When he realises she isn't in a position to answer his questions, he simply gets her into the bath, playfully swatting the water at her with his tail. He gets her a towel after about 30 mins, washes off all her running makeup, and wraps her up in it. Chloe sits, dripping water on her bed while chat rummages for a change of clothes.

He gets her one of her childhood favourites and begs her to change out of wet clothes. It takes chloe another half an hour to make it even with pollen's help. Chat dries her hair off and brushes it into a fancy updo. He recharges and takes chloe to a food joint, and gets take out that they have on the eiffel tower.

(Chloe doesn't speak but chat doesn't actually need her to. Afterall, lb has been out of it too. But he knows something now. Because he comforted marinette through a breakdown, he knows who his lady is, now. He doesn't tell the girls. They don't realise it through their pain either.)

When the girls start talking to each other again, months later, the pain and hurt remains. But they've both grown into better people. Sometimes, they still call each other bee and bug. Old habits do die hard.

[novantinuum]

🤡 or 🛠, for the ask game?

Thank you very much for sending some in! :D

(Fanfic writer ask meme- I am still taking these!)

_

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

Oh, good question- let me poke into my works...

Admittedly, I don't often try to write humor into my stories as I don't feel I'm a naturally funny person in writing, but sometimes silly little character beats just pop up organically.

I still quite enjoy this exchange in Crack the Paragon chapter 12, between Steven and Peridot:

“So,” she begins, nodding towards his stomach. “Your gem.” With a tired sigh, he tugs his shirt back down. Boy, does he already know where this conversation is heading, and boy, is he sick of having to walk everyone through it. “Yup,” he replies, popping the ‘p’ and getting ready to deploy the exasperated eye roll. “All this time everyone thought you were a hybrid quartz, but now you’re telling me…” “…that I’m actually a dia—” “…that I, Peridot, certified Kindergartener, a skilled specialist on every variety of Gem to ever exist, was wrong??” “Hold on, what?”  She holds her hand over the diamond emblazoned on her chest as she passionately continues, wholly oblivious to Steven’s bemusement. “I was the brightest Gem of my cut back on Homeworld, and yet somehow I mistook a perfectly formed diamond for a quartz! Ah, hahahah!” Eyes glinting with what he can only describe as a borderline feral energy, she moves to clutch at the sides of her head, thick tufts of lemon yellow spilling out from between her fingers. “Oh, my stars. I’ve lost my touch!”

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I exclusively use mobile Scrivener! Basically every scrap of fic I post is written on the go on my phone, usually while I take a long walk at my local park on weekends, but also during my breaks from work. (Or, uh... while overtly on the clock in lab. Listen, boss gets a dollar, I get a dime-)

I've also made great use of the NaNoWriMo website this past year in keeping up a daily writing habit. I use it to track my word counts per month/every few months, and set personal goals for myself when there's not an official writing event happening on there otherwise. I don't always reach the goals I set because I'm a very busy person, but it gives me something to strive towards! In any case, I've written at least one word (AKA opened my WIPs just, at all) daily since last November. I hope to make this a habit that lasts a lifetime, writing is great fun to me.

Currently, my goal is to write 30K words by the end of August. (I started this goal back in June.) I'm decently on track right now, which I'm very pleased about!

[noicevibes]

I'd been so emotionally baffled by the Elliot Gindi situation that I've stayed off of Twitter for most of the week, so much so that my nails are bitten down to their beds (an old habit I kicked around six years ago, with the current situation bringing it back), but going on for the first time since learning about everything and being bombarded by piece of evidence after piece of evidence, both factual and disproven (confirmed), I've decided to put together a post of links and summaries where you can find this evidence.

As Tumblr only allows a certain number of photos per post, I'll either have things collaged or will have simply added the links to the posts for larger bits of evidence; whatever's necessary.

This compilation will begin beneath the cut of this post to avoid unnecessary exposure to those who wish to scroll past. Additionally, I would like to note a few things to keep in mind while this situation continues to, unfortunately, unfold, in regards to Elliot, the victims, and Genshin Impact.

Elliot may have voiced Tighnari, but as we all should know and be able to differentiate, he is not the character. There is no point to hating on a collection of pixels. For some, it is difficult to separate the two, or for better phrasing, knowing that Elliot voices/once voiced him, it will be hard for some to not associate the two so closely. Please respect those who have this difficulty. This isn't an easy time, but the conversation on this abuse should not be trained anywhere else but on this matter.

Victim blaming is cruel and senseless. At this point in time, over twenty victims have come out with proof/evidence/information, and as such, they should not be treated with the "looking for attention" party line. Be respectful to the victims during this time, because as hard as you might be taking this news, I can personally assure you that they are taking it much, much harder.

Finally, some of these victims are underage. I'm talking as young as 13, here. All the more reason to not victim blame, as they are literal children. There's nothing more easily manipulated and pliable as a child's mind, something a good, proper adult knows full well. And, the bad ones know this, too, which is why they do what they do, the "what" being all of this.

Be respectful to the other voice actors, as well. Some of them were good friends or good acquaintances or coworkers with Elliot and are also taking this news difficultly. Some more than others, which I'll get into below, as well.

Finally, please remember that when people like this pull stunts like this and reuse and recycle the same tactics on those younger and more impressionable, and then begin "apologizing", it is not for their own guilt. It is for the fact that they were caught, and are now backtracking to try and save their own asses.

As of February 13th, 2023, there appears to be a formal investigation of Elliot Gindi and all existing evidence has been collected for the purpose of this investigation.

While I will be adding TWs in the tags below, I'll also include them below this paragraph, as I'm sure not everyone has tags blocked on here. I will not be going into any specifics on a case-by-case basis out of respect for the victims, nor will I quote any specific comments/remarks made by Elliot. I don't know if there are words that get triggered for post review here on Tumblr like other sites have, so you might find some words asterisked (*) throughout.

Tw warnings for p*dophilia, tr*nsphobia, gr**ming, ableism, sexual assault, self-harm, emotional abuse, blackmail, mentions of s*icide (manipulation tactics), mentions of eating disorders (sexual relations with minors.

Okay, I think that covers all of that. Let's begin.

Minor note before we get into things: as it stands, all evidence provided has pointed out undeniable proof of Elliot Gindi being problematic in almost, if not all, every shape, way, and form. I think the only thing he's yet to do is physically act on some of the things he has said over the course of his time of voicing Tighnari. That we're aware of, anyway. But he has admitted to his foul behaviour.

In early February, Twitter member and former Discord mod for Elliot's Twitch channel, FretCore (Matty), came forward with a compilation doc of screenshots of submitted conversations between Elliot and other fans. The original Google Doc has since been removed in accordance with their terms of use rules, but since then, a WordPress site has been created. A majority of the following evidence comes on behalf of them and the other mods, as well as the victims (who remain nameless/anonymous/under aliases).

(I've linked their Twitter account for ease of access; however, please know that the evidence you will find either posted or retweeted there is not for the faint of heart. I advise you to heed general TWs should you choose to browse.)

Before the allegations went live, Elliot had already been in contact with numerous fans since October of 2022, betraying their trust by using their adoration for his work as Tighnari as his weapon of choice. He would target young, influential fans, especially those who had revealed themselves to have a mental health condition that might be easily manipulated, for the purpose of and resulting in installing a power dynamic. Elliot spoke with Corina Boettger (Paimon VA) and mentioned that he "spoke with them", referring to him coming "clean" about his behaviour (I will post her responses in another section below).

On February 6th, 2023, Elliot posted this on Twitter, announcing a "temporary" departure from social media:

As well as this "apology":

Over the past two weeks, twenty-four victims have come forward-- Tokki, Kazuya, Haruka, Faru, Atticus, Cal, Luc, Kit, strrbryss, Miki, Aynour (submitted to Matty), An (account protected), Roro, Lei Lanii (account protected), and ten other unnamed victims. Not only were the messages sent by Elliot highly manipulative, but they were extremely inappropriate for multiple reasons. Below, I will tl;dr for you the specifics of each case. I know many of you haven't been able to stomach the details of the situation for numerous valid reasons, and I'm sorry that this has reawakened a lot of pain for everyone in the process.

TW User Tokki (he/they, 17y.o.) shared the messages between them and Elliot where the former VA had been the one to initiate contact. Tokki had been a member of Elliot's Discord server and would frequently message them under the guise of a mental health check-in, until admitting that he took notice of them after they'd posted a cosplay. The use of their dead name and incorrect pronouns went hand-in-hand with fetishizing their sexuality and mentioning other harmful comments in regards involving conversion and transphobia. He also used their mental health history (past and present) to try and cover himself by calling Tokki "crazy"; Tokki later relapsed around New Years and was almost sent to a psychiatric hospital when Elliot threatened to commit. When Elliot was kicked from a private server they were both in, along with Tokki's friends, the two spoke only enough that Tokki eventually blocked him and contacted a mod. TW

TW User Kazuya (pronouns unknown?) shared the messages between them and Elliot that had the former VA using inappropriate nicknames, encouraged them providing sexual favours to him over video and voice recordings, and wound up hospitalized for attempting to comply with one of his requests. Other messages from Elliot included him encouraging Kazuya to get tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) so they could engage in unprotected sexual intercourse should they ever meet. TW

TW The first unnamed victim sent Elliot a fanart of himself and a nice message. It wasn't soon after that Elliot began making sexual remarks. Elliot deleted their conversation before it could be recorded through screenshots, but Elliot began to fetishize their bisexuality for his own personal enjoyment. TW

TW User Haruka (assuming she/her, based; 20y.o.) also sent Elliot fanart and told him how much she enjoyed his Tighnari work. The conversation, which wasn't expected to become a conversation, quickly escalated into one of sexual remarks from Elliot, that Haruka felt "extremely obligated [to] give him what he wanted" (nudes). Haruka says that before the escalation, she felt "safe" speaking with Elliot, but the 180-degree on both her and the others' situation has since put her in a "horrible mental state". TW

TW User Faru (he/they, 14y.o.; Ace) met Elliot through IG when they sent him fanart and pulls from Genshin. After a bit of kind conversation, Faru opened up about a previous SA where Elliot asked invasive questions on the matter; whenever it got too much and Faru got upset, Elliot would guilt them into rejoining the conversation, which only got more explicit (again, I won't be adding any details here). While all of the cases here are extreme, Faru's evidence has its own TW within one of the screenshots, so please bear this in mind should you decide to read the texts yourself. TW

TW User Atticus (he/they, 18y.o.) had a brief encounter with Elliot through a voice call. He dm'ed Elliot some Tighnari doodles and he called them "cute", before asking if they could chat over call. They did, and it was at first normal, until Elliot eventually turned on his camera and revealed him to be naked and masturbating (Atticus assumes it was to his voice). Atticus was 17 at the time of the incident, and his age was public in his Discord. He immediately left the call and blocked Elliot. TW

TW The second unnamed victim had sent Elliot a Tighnari edit through Twitter, not having Discord. Elliot saw it on his personal account, but messaged them back on a burner account. Elliot almost immediately inquired to their sexuality/gender details and country. It was obvious in the intonation of their text that this unnamed victim felt uncomfortable with the flow of conversation, but felt obligated to indulge him. The two exchanged certain photos, and even multiple voice clips. This victim ghosted Elliot for two weeks, and upon re-entering the conversation, Elliot immediately went into a guilt-trip/self-loathing/pity party that frightened them. Another picture was sent, this one involving self-harm that greatly triggered the victim. They told him to seek help, and presumedly, blocked Elliot. TW

TW User Cal (he/they, 14y.o.) tells that he reached out to Elliot about Tighnari, as well, and Elliot repeated the previous pattern of asking personal questions, asking for Cal's deadname (which he did not give) and for Cal's discord. Elliot eventually asked Cal to delete their IG chats and was manipulated into doing so, so unfortunately, they are unable to provide physical evidence. Two months ago, Elliot asked for a picture of Cal. At this point, it is unclear if Elliot is aware of Cal's true age (unlikely). Elliot throws another self-loathing/pity party. Cal has declined to share anymore information, to spare his mental health. TW

TW User Luc (any pronouns; 21y.o.) spoke to Elliot on their old Discord account around September 2022, having joined Elliot's server with it but quickly leaving as they felt uncomfortable being in a server (general). Elliot private messaged Luc, eventually falling into his same pattern of personal, inappropriate questions of Luc's sexuality, what they had on, where Luc lived, etcetera. When Elliot asked for Luc's Snapchat, Luc declined, not keen on giving it out. The day after, Elliot asked if Luc would join them on video call and masturbate with him. Luc expressed how uncomfortable they felt during this exchange, and demanded he stopped when Elliot asked for photos of Luc's breasts. Elliot began apologizing, and asked Luc to make a new Discord and delete the one used in their conversations, hence why Luc has no available evidence. Luc did send a clothed, full-body picture at Elliot's request, but Elliot made a comment on his thinner appearance (unfortunately, This spanned over two days. TW

TW The third unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 18y.o.) was also a victim to Elliot's pattern of abuse: the personal, invasive questions once the victim introduced themselves as a supporting fan; "where do you live?"/"what are you wearing?" This victim chatted with Elliot on Discord through an alt account of his and experienced his self-deprecating remarks once being told that they were uncomfortable with the situation, and the fact that he heavily used their trauma against them. The victim believes that after they blocked Elliot, he deleted the alt account. TW

TW User Kit (he/they, 13y.o.) came forward with some of the most sickening evidence that I'd read at this point. In being the youngest victim, it was quite painful reading through his testimony. Their interaction started off the same way as the others, along with the personal questions. Kit assumed he was being friendly and knew his age, as it was posted to his bio. Elliot continued to address Kit with female pronouns despite being informed of Kit being afab. He asked Kit more invasive things (I will not list them) before jumping into the extremely sexual comments, additionally calling Kit "good girl" on a consistent basis, and even sending Kit a dick pic. When it was finally attached to the conversation that Kit is only 13 years old, Elliot goes through his self-deprecating, s*icide-threatening spiel to gain sympathy from Kit, and successfully encourages him to delete their Discord chat. But, Kit kept the receipts. TW

TW User strrbryss (unknown pronouns, 14y.o.) posted their recount of their experience with Elliot on TikTok, which was then sent to Matty. Again, it was the same pattern of manipulative abuse he used on the other fans after receiving an edit from strrbryss: the personal, invasive questions turn to requests for sexual favours, which were, at first, rejected by strrbryss (Elliot managed to manipulate and bait her through threatening s*icide); the self-deprecating remarks. strrbryss blocked him soon after. TW

TW The fourth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 14y.o.) opened up to Elliot after having made an alt account for the purpose of sending him fanart, where the former VA created another false place of safety before asking about their personals. This victim unfortunately did provide their personal information. After giving Elliot their Snapchat, he began making advances on them and would ask for nudes, despite making it clear numerous times that they were underage, and even make them sit through inappropriate video calls with him. The fourth victim ultimately stopped talking to Elliot and blocked him, and he deleted their messages. TW

TW The fifth unnamed victim (assumed pronouns being he/they [enby], 20y.o.) sent Elliot fanart, who turned their current fixation of Tighnari into full-on conversations, appearing as a friend to them. Elliot soon began asking for personal audios, admitting to masturbating to one of the voice clips sent by the victim (presumedly?); he would ask to sext with the victim, as well, where they would then try and shift the conversation to get out of it. Elliot began guilt-tripping the victim, getting in their head and using their situation with their friends as a catalyst; he requested explicit videos from the victim, and even photos of their s*lf-h*rm scars. Elliot would eventually start harassing this victim's friends, and ultimately blocked Elliot. TW

TW The sixth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 13y.o.) sent their compliments to Elliot on his work as Tighnari through Discord back in late December. They and Elliot began a conversation, talking more regularly until Elliot began asking the same personal questions and attempting to give the victim the same false sense of safety. This victim had already informed Elliot of their age multiple times. Elliot made inappropriate/sexual comments regarding the victim wearing their favourite lipstick after showing just them wearing lipstick (and nothing else) in a photo to him. The victim began to purposely distance themselves from any conversation with Elliot as the inappropriate behaviour progressed, where Elliot then spammed them on Twitter and Discord asking if they were "mad at him". He tried backtracking and "apologizes". The victim has deleted their chats together and has blocked Elliot since. TW

TW The seventh unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 12/13y.o.) was 12 at the time that they contacted Elliot Gindi to give praise for his voice acting. This victim has a prior of being sexually harassed/gr**med (one of the abusers actually being similar to Elliot), and Tighnari was a comfort character for them. The victim shared their IG handle with Elliot when he asked for photos, and only commented on them (not mentioning the victim's mother, who was also in the picture). He began asking the victim "weird things", such as the type of clothes they wore, if they had a boyfriend, if they could send him a picture of what the victim was presently wearing. The victim would brush off his questions, still wanting to stay connected to "Tighnari". The questions got more sexually inappropriate, to which the victim informed Elliot of their history of being a gr**ming victim. Elliot sent the victim a dick pic along with extremely sexually vulgar comments. These events sent the victim into a panic attack and forced them back into therapy, and even to the greatest extreme of begging their mother to move out of the United States in fear of Elliot. TW

TW The eighth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 15y.o.) had conversations with Elliot in vanish mode (due to a previous experience, but also as Elliot said it was "better that way"). The two sexted back and forth. The victim had heard that it was "easy to get a response from him" and wanted to speak to the voice actor of her favourite character. Elliot lured them in by providing them his Tighnari voice for NSFW roleplays. When the victim explained that they were getting bored of Genshin Impact, Elliot immediately began guilt-tripping them, saying that they "just hated him and wanted to use him for his voice and talents", that "he should just disappear then if [they're] so bored", that they were "breaking his heart". The victim (thankfully) recognized his behaviour and kept their distance, eventually deleting the messages from their conversations (five conversation took place beginning late December, three of which were sexual). TW

TW The ninth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 26y.o.), while they didn't suffer from any sexual advances from Elliot after initiating conversation with him over IG, they were on the receiving end of Elliot's request for them to s*lf-h*rm relapse. He even attempted to gaslight the victim by saying "if you really cared for me". They had to "lecture" Elliot about asking for this. TW

TW User Miki (he/they/she, 13y.o.) says they don't have any evidence of the "cringy sex talk", but managed to keep the screenshot from the day Elliot threatened them. They assume he has kept the nudes they sent him, as he also threatened to share them if they revealed anything of their interactions. Miki is currently suffering through depression, and shares their regards to the other victims. TW

TW User Aynour (assumed pronouns being she/they, unknown age) was a lip MUA and would post the looks on IG, at the time that they messaged Elliot to compliment him and his work. He complimented them in turn and asked if they could video call while they put on their makeup. He didn't say much during the interaction and his camera had an odd angle to it; Aynour later found out that Elliot was touching himself to her applying lipstick. Elliot proceeded to make sexually inappropriate comments that made Aynour so uncomfortable that she immediately ended the call. Elliot apologized later, dubbing what happened during the call a "misunderstanding", and telling Aynour that he thought they knew he'd been "interested in [me] sexually". Aynour does not have the screenshots, as they deleted their entire IG account after being unable to take the thought of anyone looking at any of their photos and thinking the same thoughts that Elliot voiced to them. "I can't put on lipstick anymore." TW

TW The tenth unnamed victim (now "named" Rhea; assumed pronouns being she/they, 19y.o.) was a member of his Discord server and complimented Elliot on his voice work for Tighnari; they additionally said they enjoyed the stream Elliot had done with CyYu (Cyno's voice actor), and when they went on about the latter, Elliot showed signs of jealousy. When the victim opened up about a prior sexual assault by a family member, Elliot inquired if they "liked it", to which the victim informed him that the event had been why they were now into females only. Elliot proposed that he change this for them, himself, or by means of a threesome with another fan. Elliot exploded on the victim, lying and bringing up CyYu's name in the guise of him hating the victim, and saying that the victim was "a disgusting attention seeker that plotted against him to ruin his career". Elliot's response was enough to send the victim to seeking psychiatric help and stayed in a psych ward for two weeks; they stopped playing Genshin, stopped watching Twitch, stayed indoors. The victim finally told their mother what happened and both had gone to the authorities and sought an attorney's help. The victim deleted their Discord and the evidence, after being told they couldn't help with this situation. The victim laments that they allowed themself to be fooled by his words, and that he manipulated them into hating CyYu from Elliot's lies, leading them to tear up a treasured autograph from CyYu. Elliot, before the evidence from this victim could even be posted, sent this victim more messages (20 minutes before Matty posted the evidence). TW

TW User An (they/it, 16/17y.o.) met Elliot on Discord in the beginning of December, and complimented him on his work in Genshin. A few days after talking, the two would voice chat (vchat?), when Elliot commented on their voice and how attractive it was. On December 27th, Elliot began asking An about their sexual fantasies, and asked them to show their face to him. An would ask him to stop, and after An told their friend, Kishke, about the situation, Elliot told An to delete their messages-- and An would, if he apologized. He "did", and An deleted them. Elliot then threatened s*icide and s*lf-h*rm to get his way, using the words "If you tell anyone else, I might have to kill myself". An would try to talk him out of s*icide, and Elliot proceeded to sexualize them helping him, calling their efforts "sexy". The day after, An blocked Elliot on Discord and Twitter. TW

TW User Roro (unknown pronouns, 19y.o.) contacted Elliot two weeks before their 19th birthday, to express how much she loved his character and the voice used for him. After a bit of conversation, and Roro saying they've done some commercial work on the side, Elliot proceeds to make a sexual comment/joke(?) about their voice. Elliot would ask stranger questions, specifically regarding if they'd had bottom surgery. Roro later offhandedly mentioned having a Tighnari pillow, to which Elliot asked them to send a video of them humping it-- Roro blocked him and deleted the messages. TW

TW User Lei Lanii (unknown pronouns, 16y.o. - 21y.o.) met Elliot much earlier than the aforementioned victims, in a Pokemon server called PokemonGoGo, where Elliot defended Lei Lanii when they'd been bullied for their art, and then sent them a friend request. From the age of 16, Lei Lanii and Elliot would speak often, the latter consistently sending Lei Lanii compliments about them and their art, and eventually, asking them if they would sneak out to see him, or draw lewd art for him. Elliot would trick and gaslight Lei Lanii into clinging to him (they have attachment issues), and they have been speaking ever since. Please, if you decide to read their evidence, it is very triggering. Caution yourself. TW

Even now, more victims are coming out with statements. Unfortunately, it is too vast a number to keep up with. Should the WordPress document ran by Matty be updated, I will add them into this posting. I only relay information, but I am not in a place to verify truth or falsities.

GENSHIN IMPACT STATEMENTS

February 15th, 2023 @ 9:30 PM "Dear Travelers, After communications with the voice recording agency, we hereby confirm that Elliot Gindi, the English voice actor for Tighnari will no longer be voicing the character in subsequent versions due to a breach of contract. "At present, we are communicating with the voice recording agency regarding matters of casting and re-recording. We will gradually replace Tighnari's existing in-game voice lines, and issue these updates in the corresponding announcements. Thank you for your support, Travelers!"

ACTOR STATEMENTS

The following are comments and statements supplied by the Genshin Impact English voice cast (as of February 15th). I've likely missed some. There's a lot.

Corina Boettger (voice of Paimon)

"I was one of the people he called before this all came out 2 days ago to "come clean". Which I don't know why. Besides a few random tweets I haven't had a direct conversation with him since I think august last year. I feel gross that he came to me. Worse is that he told another person that I "took it well". Which makes me feel gross that he thought I was on his side. I wasn't. Even him watering down the situation I told him it was bad. And yeah over the call I didn't yell or freak out but that doesn't mean I was okay. I shut down. My partner has had to deal with my mental state for the aftermath of this & it is not good. Cause at that point Elliot told me he didn't think anyone would come forward because he "talked to them" which really just tells me he tried to manipulate them more. But I was immediately in a position where I was thinking "who do I go to... I have to let people know he isn't safe". Luckily shortly after that call someone else reached out to me and notified me that things were in motion, people were being notified, and then they also sent me the actual severity of what happened. I knew he wasn't giving me the full truth. He even alluded to me that because one of the victims had a mental disorder that they don't really have the wherewithal to come forward. Which completely broke me. To be honest I disassociated through the conversation so I am only remembering what I can but my partner was there during the conversation and I was on speakerphone so I know I didn't imagine it. But I am autistic. I know with previous experience how I was scouted by abusers because of it. Cause then my word would not be trusted. Also when he told me he made sure everything was deleted so they have no "real proof" I told him that was stupid cause if you did nothing wrong you wouldn't have had them delete anything. He knew. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he did it anyway. And I feel so gross and sick that he came to me like I was a friend when I never was. I had a feeling from the start something was off about him but I said nothing because you're not supposed to judge people instantly like that. I feel like maybe if I had spoken up no one would have gotten hurt. But all I had was my gut instinct at the time. Thank you to those that came forward. It isn't easy. You didn't deserve this. And I'm sorry this happened to you. I feel so guilty. I feel like I could have helped more. He knew it was bad or he wouldn't have called me to try to change the narrative before it was even out. He even told me that he was going to contact others he worked with. Meaning he was trying to garner support before it happened. I wish when he told me I yelled at him. I wanted to. But I thought that would make it worse for the victims. I also thought maybe if I kept calm he would give me more info so I could help the victims. But it made me sick. I feel sick for not telling him right then and there to f*ck off. I replay what I can remember from the conversation over and over thinking "yes you told him what he did was bad but you could have done more" cause the fact that he told others I took it well? That just makes me so angry. I cried after that call. My partner has done nothing but comfort me the last 2 days saying I did the right thing. Thank god someone contacted me shortly after that call saying they had it handled and that the victims were safe. Because I really thought it was just down to me at that point and I had no idea who the victims were or how to handle it. I wish I could have done more to help. I wish my stupid disability didn't make me shut down when dealing with stress especially when there are people who are hurting who could have used my help.

Zach Aguilar (voice of Aether)

Disappointed and angry. I have removed the stream with Elliot and will no longer be associating with him. I refuse to give someone like this a platform in any way. To use your power this way over fans is disgusting and shameful. My heart goes out for the victims of this situation

Sarah Miller-Crews (voice of Lumine)

Shocked and disgusted. I’m sending all my heart to the victims of this situation, I hope all of you are okay. Elliot’s behavior is absolutely inexcusable and he won’t be part of any group streams I help organize in the future.

Cristina Vee Valenzuela (voice of Bennett & Xingqiu)

I am so sorry to all the victims of that person’s horrible and inexcusable actions. I’m so appalled and disgusted. I didn’t know them well but I have cut all ties. Recovery can be a long and difficult journey, please be strong.

Brianna Knickerbocker (voice of Hu Tao)

I am furious. HOW DARE Elliot threaten to take his life if the victims came forward. Truly sick in the head. Everything Elliot has done has left me so angry and triggered. There needs to be consequences for his actions. There needs to be support for the victims. BELIEVE VICTIMS. Victims. Please speak up if and when safe to do so, please don't stop speaking up. I'm so sorry we live in such a dark place with such disgusting predators, groomers. I'm sorry it's hard and scary to speak up. Don't let them silence you. Don't let them win. I BELIEVE YOU.

Brandon Winckler (voice of Tomo, Takuya, Nervous An)

As an actor you have a responsibility for how you handle yourself with fans. Alot of these people are literal children. They adore you/the characters you play. To take advantage of that is beyond gross. In an industry like ours, fandoms can be a reprieve from actual issues some face. I remember how much my fav shows and games would help me. This just really disappoints me beyond belief. It happens too often.

Valory Pierce (voice of Tanina, NPC)

When you’re considered a public figure, it is your sole responsibility to set appropriate and respectful boundaries especially with fans and admirers of your work. But taking advantage of someone else’s fragile mental-health for your own narcissistic pleasure? Absolutely vile.

Allegra Clark (voice of Beidou)

It is critical—as actors, streamers, content creators, whatever your profession—that we be aware of dynamics in relationships between us and the people who consume our work. which is a fancy way of saying don't knowingly pursue fans and especially underage ones CHRIST It shouldn't have to be said, but also, why do people even THINK about that? Why do people meet fans and think about getting their dicks wet (literal or metaphorical)? Why is that something that occurs to people? Why do people LITERALLY seek out fans like that? As baffling as it is to me, I'm fully aware that people look up to me. We aren't trained on how to deal with that, but simultaneously there's a difference between being awkward and *PREYING ON FANS* I'm just. Really angry about this. So much love to the victims, that shouldn't have ever happened to you. The community deserves better. It costs $0 to not be like that. also while I'm venting about his stupid decisions, nonblack people shouldn't say the n-word. idc if you're a person of color, if you're nonblack? get that word out of your mouth. holy shit.

Cory Yee (voice of Gorou)

Like many of my peers and the community, I am thoroughly disgusted by Elliot’s actions. The victims’ bravery is so very important here, and I stand in support of them. My heart goes out to them, but even so it feels so woefully insufficient. Since I found out about what happened, I’ve been reflecting about what to say, and it’s been incredibly hard to put words down. It makes me sick to think about the platform we’ve been gifted being used for such acts. Care and empathy must always be at the center of any community It’s our responsibility as public figures to protect and listen to our community. It’s also our responsibility to create spaces for voices to be heard. And it’s our responsibility to provide a safe place where people can trust one another. I hope the victims will be able to have some level of closure and healing over time. And I can’t speak for everyone, but I know so many of the members of my part of the Genshin fandom stand with the victims, including me.

Christina Costello (voice of Collei)

I’ve spent the last few days viewing my kindness as a flaw and telling myself I need to change it desperately. I now see it’s not a flaw, it’s my strength. Even if I’ve been burned because of it, it’s still my strength. I am with you all. My heart is with you all. I do not know if I will ever have the right words to say. I’m still blinded by anger and hurt right now. But please know my heart is with you all. I’m sorry. Sorry that your light has been taken advantage of. Please continue to let that light shine. Please be kind to yourselves. It has taken me a long to accept that sometimes, kindness is simply manipulated. It hurts. It’s anger introducing. But it doesn’t mean I should stop being kind. I’m proud of the person I am. Working on being kinder to myself, so please, keep being kind to yourselves too 💕 I love you means nothing when it’s being used to manipulate and cause harm. “Kindness” means nothing when it’s being used to manipulate and cause harm. Once again I am so sorry your lights were taken advantage of. I truly understand. I’m so sorry. Please continue to shine. Shine bright, loud, and continue to be your powerful selves. My heart is with you. At the very least, my kindness was (and still is) real, genuine, and came from my heart. Even if the kindness I received back was not. I was still kind. And I’m proud of that. But how dare you be “kind” to others with the intention to hurt them.

Ratana (voice of Yae Miko)

Fame- at any level- comes with a responsibility to its fandom. I do not condone predatory behavior at all. To those affected: thank you for speaking up. I'm holding space for your healing + peace. I'm sad, angry, and so so effing tired. You deserve better.

Chris Tergliafera (voice of Capitano)

Fans sending fan art of a character you voice is such an honor. To take their love for the character as an opportunity to groom/manipulate them is pure evil. My heart hurts for all the victims. No excuses for it, period. Go away, get help, don’t come back. With new survivors coming to light, I want to share some Red Flags to look out for when talking online with any online celebrity, voice actor, influencer, etc. Let's not allow another Elliot Gindi to hurt others, ever again. I also want to say how incredibly proud I am of how every survivor responded to his evil. Y'all knew something was wrong and took the right steps by either cutting contact or telling someone. This was MAJOR manipulation/grooming and you all stood tall to prevent future victims. Additionally, Chris has made a TikTok video in response.

Ashley Biski (voice of Layla)

Why is it so hard to be a decent human being?? My heart, my love, and my prayers go out to anyone that was hurt in this situation. And you are so strong and brave for speaking out Now to say I’m pissed off is an understatement. So do not EVER utter my name, it’s consonants, or it’s vowels in the same breath as that persons. Please and thank you. Not all VA’s are bad. & so many of us do what we do to bring joy and a safe way of escape from the turmoils of the world to those that consume our media. Now with that being said I am very loving, kind, and I mind my business, but know that I am NOT the one to play with. Trust. And I'm not retweeting no damn "apology". You're sorry you got CAUGHT. So please seek help. I have seen some peers literally take this situation that you have zero to do with and instead of just saying something in support of the victims you decide to use this as another “moment” for yourself. And I say another because you love to have a moment. If I see it again I’m calling you out and I’m flaming you. So don’t let the fact that you are a VA on Twitter with a couple thousand followers get you caught up, because the thing about me is that I scrap for real. And let this be a warning for anyone else in this industry that’s doing some dirty, grimy, underhanded stuff. You woke up the lion so trust you will be dealt with. Have a nice night. I am literally sick to know that I did a couple streams with Elliot. Like I want to vomit. But for him to use a cast mates name to lure people in?! “Alexa, play ‘Knuck if you buck’” cuz at this point I have no words anymore. I’m ready to fight. In response to unnamed victim ten: I want you to know how proud I am of you. Continue to chase your dreams. If you still wanna be a VA I pray he hears your voice in every game, every cartoon, every commercial til it haunts him in his sleep. I am currently your biggest fan so don’t stop! I just wanna end the night with saying I have never been more proud to be apart of the #GenshinImpact community. Y’all are ride or die for real! You have shown tremendous support for these sweet victims and also sent love to us in the cast that I genuinely feel. & I’m sorry I tweet kinda scrappy lol. Im usually easygoing & mind my business but once you piss me off it’s over. For someone to look & act the way he did he really had the audacity. But that’s okay cuz he has another thing coming. Layla may be asleep but Ashe is wide awake!

Alejandro Saab/CyYuVtuber (voice of Cyno)

Sorry for the delay on this, I’ve been at the hospital all day What Elliot did is awful, vile and I’m sorry to all the victims he affected. It’s inexcusable and I’m hurting physically and emotionally! I do not condone any of his disgusting actions. I’m mad, sad and just… frustrated. I considered him a friend and this… this sucks and I’m sorry. My heart goes out to all the victims he affected. Love you guys and you all deserve better Afterwards: I wasn’t to make this tweet cause I thought I said my piece. But after I found out he was using my FUCKING NAME to lure folks in. I gotta say something. I barely knew Elliot Gindi. We literally just played games together. The first time I talked to him was on a live stream Then we literally just talked about collabing on stream and the occasional dumb joke or something Genshin. That was the literal extent of any relationship we had. Just because I voice Cyno and he WAS Tighnari, doesn’t mean it went any deeper than that. I’m sorry to anyone he made false promises to, he used, abused, sexualized, and any other unspeakable shit I’m unaware of he’s done. He’s a FUCKING DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING and I beg he gets recast as quickly as possible. I know it may take some time, but the sooner the better. I’ll probably address it a hundred times. But we were not close. At all. We could’ve been, but no. That’ll never happen. He’s fucking scum, and I hope karma comes his way soon. I’m sorry guys.

Kelsey Jaffer (voice of Yao Yao)

My stomach is in knots…this is a lot to deal with for us, and I know it is for a lot of you. Please be gentle with each other and with yourselves. Take some time off of social media today, if you need—I’m going to. Do something that makes you smile. Be well, everyone. I can’t say anything that’s not already been said, but I just wanna make it clear that the victims of Elli*t’s rancid behavior are incredibly brave & deserving of love &support. victim-blaming, shaming, or minimizing won’t be tolerated—& neither will anyone twisting the situation People love to exaggerate certain parts of a story and minimize others, especially online and on this platform. Don’t let any hot takes, nitpicking or conspiracy theories distract from the issue at hand—what the victims had to go through. I see you and support you. Thank you to everyone who had a hand in making Hoyoverse aware of this horrible situation--you were clearly heard and considered. This is a step in the right direction, and I hope it gives some of the victims even a little peace

Kelly Baskin (voice of Amber)

Disappointed and angry with the actions of a fellow cast member. Sending love and healing to all of the victims. Thank you for speaking up. Y’all, I beg of you, please stop apologizing to the internet when you have personal circumstances to attend to. You have the right to your privacy and people understand. The interweb will still be here; take care of yourselves, unapologetically. Said with love.

Risa Mei (voice of Kokomi)

I am incredibly outraged. What happened was disgusting and inexcusable. That is predatory behavior and I do NOT tolerate any of it. My heart goes out to the victims in this situation. I am so sorry. Thank you for those who were brave enough to come forward, that is not easy. There are so many of us hurting today, so please be kind to each other out there and do what you need to do to protect your mental health

Judy Alice Lee (voice of Yunjin)

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE GOOD PEOPLE

Matthew Greenbaum (voice of Azhdaha)

Regarding the situation with Elliot Gindi. I'm disgusted to see someone use whatever tiny modicum of fame they have to take advantage of their fan base. It should go without saying, but if you have a fan base, it is crucial that you set strict boundaries and don't cross them. My heart goes out to the fans and the victims, you deserve better. For any fan who needs to hear this, don't trust anyone you don't know reaching out to you randomly online. Those of us who are safe would never do that in the first place, so if someone does that, red flag. If there's anyone who hopes to be best friends with their favorite voice actor, let me pull back the curtain real quick: we're not any more cool than anyone else. Many of us are so overworked that we don't know how to talk about anything else. Otherwise we're average people.

Valeria Rodriguez (voice of Sucrose)

Everyone makes mistakes. Lots of us struggle with our mental health & there's not a single human without flaws/issues. But he should have known better. Especially being older. ESPECIALLY now. It is not hard to not be scummy. Not once- But twice, I'm a survivor of almost this exact same thing. I hated having my innocence crushed and taken away by them. I'm so sorry to those affected by his actions. You do not deserve that from ANYONE. Least of all someone you trusted and looked up to. To clarify- The beginning of my 1st tweet is, "Mental health is not an excuse." We must ALWAYS take accountability. Moreso- we have the power & foresight to make sure we don't hurt people because of it. It was not a simple "mistake" on his part. There was no excuse. That's all.

Sean Chiplock (voice of Diluc)

If/When Tighnari is recast in light of the absolute horror of this past week, please remember one extra thing - *DO NOT* associate the new actor, performance, the character with Elliot's horrific acts. They shouldn't suffer for the 'crime' of being tasked with his replacement. “If” exists solely because neither I nor any of the cast have the power to make that decision for them. Of COURSE we’d hope the decision will be an obvious one, though.

Nazeeh H. Tarsha (voice of Alhaitham)

Absolutely vile, heinous and despicable. To the victims, coming forth is not an easy thing to do by any stretch of the imagination. Your bravery is nothing short of admirable. May you find some semblance of solace in the outpouring of support and begin your healing process.

Khoi Dao (voice of Albedo)

Absolutely fucking gutted. No one should abuse their power like that, and no level of fame could ever excuse it or make it anything less than fucking horrible. My heart goes out to the victims. I’m sorry you had to be brave like this today, and I hope you can find a way to heal. Every time we learn something new about Elliot my heart breaks all over again. Knowing he hurt so many of you in such profoundly evil ways rots me to my core. To those who came forward, for what it’s worth, I want you to know I see you, I believe you, and I’m with you.

Chelsea Kwoka (voice of Shenhe)

To the victims, your feelings and boundaries are valid. To everyone affected, my heart goes out to you. I’m often intimidated by this platform, but please know the cast stands with you. Regarding VA update: It doesn’t change what he did, but I’m proud to work for a company that listens to its employees and customers. I hope this brings everyone affected some amount of peace

Anne Yatco (voice of Raiden Shogun/Raiden Ei)

It's hard to put my feelings to words. People with public visibility (actors) bear a responsibility to treat their fans w/ respect. To do the opposite or worse is absolutely inexcusable. If you're hurting, I'm sorry. If you spoke up, thank you. I had no clue. I’m sad and angry. I’m canceling today’s streams. To be honest, I’m too angry to stream. Please take care of yourselves and each other. And to the people that Elliot hurt, my heart goes out to all of you. It was so brave of you to speak out, and I hope you can begin the healing process.

Jenny Yokobori (voice of Yoimiya)

Now that I have more spoons: Elliot Gindi is abhorrent. The abuse that he inflicted upon his victims is unforgivable. I am absolutely disgusted with him and anyone trying to defend him. I wish nothing but peace for the victims. I don’t give a shit about any “apology”, though “I want to be a champion for women” You can keep it. Stay away from any afab people for as long as you live. “I’m not used to having this much attention!” AS IF THE REST OF US ARE Genshin BLEW up and a lot of us have entered the public eye very quickly. I’m so goddamn sick of the excuse of “sudden fame” for these predators. A lot of followers doesn’t make you a predator. You were just a predator waiting for a lot of followers. This is ESPECIALLY obvious since he admits he went after a specific victim BECAUSE they were a fan

Jennifer Losi (voice of Ganyu)

To the brave folks who shined a light on the predatory behavior of a voice actor in our community: thank you for stepping forward to protect others. I am holding space in my heart for anyone who was hurt by this horrific misuse of his platform and your trust. People with bad intentions don't show their true colors to everyone and continually try to build allies for exactly this sort of moment. If you are replaying every conversation in your mind right now, please know this is not your fault. For the victims: you are not alone. Many of us have been in coercive situations that wish we had been able to handle differently at the time. It's easy to blame yourself when other people take advantage of your vulnerabilities. Please don't. Be kind to yourselves today.

Bradley Gareth (voice of Yuehui, Hishida, Uncle He)

It really isn’t that hard to be a voice actor without being a total creep We go into the little box to make silly voices. Some people, usually impressionable people, usually young people, get really attached to the characters we play. We as voice actors enjoy a little bit of celebrity, a little bit of power with these people. Don’t abuse that. If you feel yourself being tempted to do any of this bullshit to fans, especially younger ones, 1. Close your fucking DMs 2. Seek psychiatric care Deeply embarrassed to even be in the same field that keeps having this problem. Please believe all the victims and support them in this difficult time. Do not be surprised if the perpetrator decides to embrace people who don’t believe in any victims at all.

Stephanie Southerland (voice of Jean)

Just becoming aware of the situation with Elliot. I'm disgusted & upset to say the least. To anyone who has been taken advantage of, my heart hurts for you. Speaking up is so difficult but please know that the rest of the cast stands with you.

Marco Domenico (Meatball) (voice of Dvorak)

As a person who covers a lot of Genshin Impact content on my channel and now a member of the cast, I just want to say I'm sorry this terrible shit happened. In fact, it's completely fucked. a LOT of people lean on you when they feel safe with you. Be Responsible.

Robb Moreira (voice of Mika)

As actors, we have a responsibility to represent ourselves, our clients, and the characters we represent with decorum and respect. Responsibility to treat fans with the same decorum and respect. Responsibility to know that people are safely interacting with you. To take advantage of the trust between actor and fan for your own heinous goals is inexcusable, regardless of the guilt you feel. Which only exists BECAUSE you were caught. Underage grooming is disgusting, vile and the worst act an actor can do. I stand with all victims

Laura Stahl (voice of Barbara & Xinyan)

im so sick and heartbroken to those who have been hurt, you have my love and sympathy. to those who came forward i admire your strength. i wish you never had to use it this way. our community is so precious, and you all deserve so much better. please take time to heal.

Chris Faiella (Genshin Impact voice director)

I appreciate everyone bringing the situation regarding Elliot to my attention. To say I'm angry, disappointed, and heartbroken about it all, would be an understatement. My heart goes out to anyone who has been victimized by this unacceptable and inappropriate behavior. I personally would like to champion the ones who stepped forward and brought all of this to light. Trust that I am doing everything that I can, using what limited power I do have, to rectify this situation and will absolutely inform the folks at miHoYo. I appreciate all of your love, concern, support, and vigilance.

Mick Wingert (voice of Dottore)

I just became aware of the #elliotgindi allegations. I have no comment on Elliot, as I don’t know him, but to the #genshintwt and #dottoretwt communities: Your boundaries are important and valid. No person, no matter how famous is allowed to compromise them.

Erika Harlacher-Stone (voice of Venti)

Furious. Elliot Gindi has been removed from all group streams/activities I have any part in organizing moving forward. I’m… this is really triggering for me… Honestly I thought he was rude and egotistical from my first interaction with him but didn't want to exclude castmates based on a personality clash. Should've trusted my instincts.

Josey Montana McCoy (voice of Kaeya)

I stand with the victims of this (and all) abhorrent bull shit. It’s our responsibility as actors to hold the boundaries of professionalism and basic decency. Believe victims.

Jackie Lastra (voice of Xiangling)

Now that I’ve sat with my feelings I want to address the Elliot Gindi situation. I’m an appalled at everything that’s come to light. Fans trust you with their hearts & to abuse that trust & take advantage of your position is deplorable. My heart is with the victims. We see you.

Griffin Burns (voice of Tartaglia/Childe)

I just wanted to say… to the victims of a certain actor’s predatory behavior, you are so brave for sharing your stories and I support you. What they did is abusive and simply inexcusable. No one deserves to be treated that way. Stay strong comrades, you’ve got this!

Patrick Pedraza (voice of Scaramouche/Wanderer)

Hey y’all. Im one of the few on the Genshin cast that is married and has a 5 year old daughter. Shit hits different when you think of someone physically or mentally abusing your kid. The thing that sucks, is you can only do so much to protect them, as the world and lots of people are unstable. I wish I knew the answers. All I can do is lead with love and do my best. I hope whoever is hurting right now because of abuse or other trauma seeks help and uses the hard situations in life to grow stronger and more resilient. Love y’all.

Emi Lo (voice of Columbina)

"Fame" should never be an excuse to be a manipulative creep and to take advantage of those who admire you. NOTHING should ever be an excuse to do that. It's disgusting behavior, and my heart goes out to those affected - whether they have come forward or not.

I hope this was safely informative. I know, it's a lot. I'm sorry to all. I deeply empathize with this current struggle. For anyone wishing to talk/discuss things, my inbox (and arms) are wide open. Let's heal together. 💕

LINKS

FretCore (Matty) - Twitter

Arrest Elliot Gindi evidence site - WordPress

Discord convos between Elliot & his moderators - WordPress

Burner accounts used by Elliot to contact victims - WordPress

[thecraftyfoxthewriterscorner]

Improving Your Writing Habits When Time Is the Limit

A few tips for getting some writing in when you don’t have a lot of time.

Hi Story Crafters,

This is a little late, but happy 2024! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and spent some time relaxing and recharging the writing part of their brain.

I’d like to start off by thanking all of my current subscribers for their continued support of this newsletter—I couldn’t publish these posts without you! Please bear with me as I get back into the habit of sending out this newsletter more frequently and consistently.

As a way to get back into the swing of things (me with the newsletter, and maybe you, with your writing), this post will be a remix of a couple of my earliest posts:

5 Tips for Developing a Daily Writing Habit

Developing a Daily Writing Habit Recap: Taking a Break

Now for the remix:

I’ve found the tips below (a few of which may sound familiar) helpful with improving my own writing habits over the past few weeks. Hopefully, you find a couple of them useful too!

✨Try to write every day.

Try to write every day, even if it’s just 1 sentence or even just a fragment of one. Sometimes the hardest part of writing is just starting. As long as you have something written on the page, you can build on it; and it might feel easier to do so as the days go by!

✨Write ugly—or, you know, have fun!

Don’t worry too much about connecting sentences or even ideas together. Don’t worry if they’re in chronological order, if there are repetitive words, etc. Some days getting words on the page will feel like pulling teeth; on others, you’ll feel like everything is falling in place, and the writing will be fun. In any case, just set the goal of getting your thoughts and ideas down—or if you’re feeling up to it, a whole scene!

✨Try to have 1-2 days a week where you can sit down and write.

Try to have 1-2 days where you can sit down with the ideas, sentences, and/or fragments you wrote over the course of the week and try to connect them. This might take the form of writing a paragraph, a scene, or even an entire chapter. The goal is to weave everything into a cohesive story. Often I end up writing more and writing longer than planned, so I try to set aside a big chunk of time.

✨Try to read what you previously wrote before you start writing again.

Reading what you last wrote (which, hopefully, was the day before) can help rev up the writing part of your brain, making you excited to keep on writing and/or giving you ideas on how to keep writing. They’re pretty much the same thing, honestly. Try not to edit too much when you use this technique, unless doing so will help you continue writing the current narrative.

✨Find inspiration wherever possible.

This could mean watching movies or TV shows that are the same genre as your writing project, or share similar characters, plot devices, or other story elements. This might mean researching certain topics like historical events, investigative techniques, first aid techniques, fight scenes, etc. And it might also mean finding techniques you’d like to use in your own writing, like comedic dialogue, tragic narratives, certain plot twists etc.—though in this case, you’ll want to find examples of books that use those techniques effectively, so you can analyze how the authors pulled off those techniques.

That’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve also got some news for this spring…

❇️ Upcoming Event: #RevPit 2024

If you’ve got a finished manuscript and are planning to pursue traditional publishing, consider submitting your manuscript to this year’s #RevPit! Manuscripts of all genres, audiences, and lengths are welcome. I’ll be participating as a #RevPit editor this year alongside several other fantastic editors.

In the months leading up to #RevPit there will be events where you can meet the editors and even submit your query package for brief feedback (You can check out the most recent #10Queries event here.)

Check out the event schedule below:

Twitter/X: https://x.com/reviseresub/status/1747255382320533918?s=46&t=jIkStnxyKeaXgs-crC42IA

Please remember that all #RevPit events have been moved to Reddit! You can find the #RevPit event Reddit post here.

Until next time!

Best,

Leah

Visit the Crafty Fox Editing Services

Connect with me on social media!

Substack Post: https://thecraftyfoxwriterscorner.substack.com/p/improving-your-writing-habits-when

Interested in learning more about me, and the kind of energy I’ll bring to a writer-editor relationship? If you're a writer, consider subscribing to my free Substack newsletter (you can check out the archives, too). You'll get a free writing resource on relationship mapping, and a special offer when you subscribe!

You can also check out the archives.

Are you searching for an editor to work with on a completed (or soon-to-be-completed) manuscript? Get in touch! I’d love to hear about your project(s). I’m looking to work with authors of:

Fantasy

Dark Fantasy

Science Fiction

Horror

Send me an email!

[jnginlov]

sticky by kiss of life

you and san have been enjoying your summer fling but for his birthday the only gift he wants is for you two to last, sticking together past this casual phase

⇀ pairing san x reader

⇀ genre fluff

⇀ style one-shot

⇀ word count 1.75k

⇀ warnings kissing, allusions to hooking up, skinship, shirtless san

note happy san day, i thought i would continue the little birthday song fic theme i started with mingi last year and i also wish so badly i could be at the beach rn so here's this

the sun is still high in the sky when you open your eyes, using your hands in front of your face to shield the glare off the ocean waves as the umbrella above your head casts a shadow over your form. as you yawn and stretch, the warmth of the sand underneath the towel you're laying on trying to urge you back into your slumber, you take a brief look at your surroundings, trying to resituate yourself on the expanse of shoreline and managing to spot the recognizable silhouette of san, the man you'd come here with. you weren't sure what exactly he was doing, your eyes still adjusting to the midday light, but you didn't particularly mind, just enjoying the opportunity to admire his shirtless form from afar.

san seems to feel your gaze on him, turning away from his current focus to wave excitedly at you. you can see the silhouette of a sand structure, a bit lopsided and already crumbling, when san moves aside. a few shells shine against the sun on top of the smaller piles of sand and, once your eyes adjust, you can see a stick with some seaweed wrapped around the end sticking straight out of the largest formation. san seems extremely proud of what you imagine he'd refer to as a "sandcastle", gesturing confidently toward it.

you're not sure how to react, san awkwardly too far for you to verbally respond, but he doesn't seem to care as he immediately starts to make his way toward you, eagerly stomping through the soft sand.

"how was your nap?" he asks with a smile, collapsing unceremoniously onto the towel next to you. he leans over to give you a casual peck on your cheek and you try to ignore the flutter in the pit of your stomach. luckily the heat of the day already has your skin warm to the touch and so your blush goes unnoticed by san.

"restful," you sigh with content, "how long was i asleep?" you reach for your phone to get a look at the time.

"long enough for me to build you the perfect castle," san replies with a giggle. "move in ready," he adds with a wide smile at you, dimples on full display.

"not sure a castle is in my budget," you entertain him with a grin of your own, moving to place your phone back into your bag and rummaging around for the bottle of sunscreen, sure both of you could use a reapplication.

"well only 5 oyster shells a month for a 12 bedroom 14 bath seems like a steal to me," he reasons with a shrug, running his hand through his hair to move some of the loose strands that had been stuck to his forehead. his gaze doesn't brake away from you even as you focus your attention fulling on looking into your beach bag, a habit of his you've begun to notice even more recently as you both spend increasing time together.

"why wouldn't you live there too? sure is a lot of bedrooms for just one person," you comment without much thought at the nature of the remark. 

san doesn't immediately respond and his silence causes you to bring your attention back to the man sat next to you. he seems to be trying to avoid your own gaze, looking back toward the main land where food trucks and sweet treat stands line the pavement. he seems suddenly more thoughtful, smile gone and eyes narrowed, and you notice the red glow of his cheeks, trying to distinguish if it's simply from his time in the sun but you don't get a chance to comment on it as he's suddenly standing.

"i'm in the mood for something sweet, want anything?" he asks abruptly, still not meeting your eyes as he grabs the white button up and sunglasses he'd discarded on the sand when you'd first arrived.

you furrow a brow at his sudden eagerness to distance himself while he slips the items on.

"uh surprise me."

and with that he's leaving you to wonder what just happened.

thinking back to your conversation you almost groan audibly when you realize what you'd said. you and san were just casual, having met last summer while you were both staying the summer here at namhae. you'd hooked up a couple times back the , after friends’ parties and such, but this summer you'd seen your connection escalate. you weren't technically in a relationship, never going on official dates or truly talking about what you were, but you certainly acted cozy. part of that was simply in san's nature, always a fan of pda, but it mostly seemed to be a natural element of whatever this little fling was. however, your comment about living together seemed certainly to snap him out of the hazy bubble of this summer fever you'd wrapped yourselves in.

the sudden awareness of your slip up casts your own mind into a frenzy of thought. why had you said what you did? obviously, the two of you living together conjured thoughts of romance and long-term affection, and that was not at all what you had now. was it?

was this little thing you shared made to last?

thinking back on the summer you'd already shared, every other minute spent together, sharing passionate kisses in front of the orange sunset and exploring the coastal town hand in hand. who could fault you for imagining a world in which you could continue on like this forever? how much longer could you two do this before you fell in love?

"the gelato truck was here," san says suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts as he holds a cone of the creamy dessert out to you. "sorry, it melted a bit on the way here," he apologizes sheepishly when you accept the dripping cone.

he no longer seems to be avoiding your gaze as he sits down with his own paper cup of italian ice, eyes sparkling as he watches you try your gelato.

"we need to reapply," you comment remembering you were still holding the bottle of sunscreen and shaking it gently.

"once we're done," san nods, "we're okay under the umbrella for right now."

a silence settles between you as you both eat, swapping bites every so often and just listening to the waves crash against the shore. you try not to slip into a thought spiral, worrying about whether you are starting to develop deeper, unrequited feelings for your summer fling. you try to analyze him subtly, but san seems as relaxed as ever, like nothing had happened. maybe its just the birthday effect.

"do you want to do something fancy for dinner? wooyoung said that place just down the road is good," you suggest. "you could invite the boys. i'm sure drinks would be on hongjoong."

he hums and for a moment you think it's in thought until you see hes adjusting his position, placing his empty paper cup into your little trash bag and laying on his side. "you don't like my cooking?" he asks teasingly, having told you earlier today that he wants to cook for you tonight.

"you shouldn't have to cook on your birthday," you reply with a roll of your eyes, crunching on the last of your cone.

san only shrugs, "i like cooking."

silence settles once more over you two and you tap gently against the sunscreen, thinking of how else you might get him to do something he might enjoy more than simply laying on the beach with you.

"why don't we go do something more exciting, ya know? something more celebratory," you suggest, placing the sunscreen back on the ground next to you.

san rolls onto his back, hands behind his head with his eyes closed, and releases a gentle sigh. "i like what we're doing now," he says before cracking one eye open to look at you. "can't the birthday boy pick what he wants to do on his own birthday?" he asks with a teasing smirk, one eye still closed.

you scoff lightly, turning away from him so that he won't see the blush dusting your cheeks. "i just don't want you wasting all your time with me," you explain and although you're talking about today specifically, it's strongly implied that you mean in general, throughout the summer. sure you've each spent time with other friends but even group hangouts would turn into you both in your own world in the corner.

"hey," san's voice is gentle but his touch is even gentler as he wraps his fingers around your wrist, causing you to look back toward him. "my time with you is never wasted," he says earnestly, eyes staring deeply into your own.

for a moment you hold your breath, ready for him to say something else, but if he had more words they never come, instead releasing your wrist and gesturing for you to lay down with him, an invitation you accept with little hesitance. you easily tuck into his side, allowing his arm to support your head like a pillow.

"can i at least get you a gift?" you ask under your breath, your urge to fight starting to fade.

you think that san doesn't hear you at first, continuing his slow even breaths beside you, but as you open your mouth to ask again he shifts to face you.

"stick with me," he says quickly.

you aren't sure if its a question or a request and so you furrow your brows at the man whose face is only inches from your own.

"go out with me," he says when he sees your confusion. "officially."

your lips part slightly in surprise and you quickly search his features to evaluate his honesty, but all you can see is the blush on his cheeks and the sparkle of hope in his eyes.

"when?" you ask, a little breathless as san leans even closer to your face, if that was even possible.

"i have tickets to the carnival tomorrow," he explains, "it can be our first date."

you can only nod, swallowing thickly, before san closes the distance and his lips are on yours.

you've kissed plenty of times before, but this one feels different, with the promise of more on his lips and the sticky gelato left over on yours mixing to form the sweetest feeling in your chest.

↼ ateez masterlist

note hopefully you enjoyed, wrote this kinda quick so excuse any mistakes

let me know what you thought

[adt3]

Karma is my pet

28 March 2024

All of us have at some point in our lives witnessed the existence of karma. Karma is true—really, truly true! Let me tell you what Karma is truly called for those of you who are still trying to figure it out. According to Google's definition, it is the culmination of an individual's good and bad deeds throughout their current and past life stages, which are thought to have an impact on their future. I am aware that you were also unaware of this, since karma a bitch (don't smile) 🤦‍♀️. Karma accumulates on three basic levels, as we have previously seen: mental oscillations, chemical reactions, and experiences. The unconscious mind's external expression is the sensory body. A vast archive of karmic memory governs the unconscious mind. This karmic memory continues to show itself without your consent. Being an unconscious manifestation, it gives you the appearance of being a huge mess. However, if you give it some thought, it might be really helpful knowledge. Three forms of karma exist: kriyamana, also known as agami, sanchita, and prarabadha. While agami karma is the outcome of one's current decisions and acts, parabi karma is experienced via the present body and is merely a portion of sanchita karma, which is the sum of one's past karmas. Karma isn't really related to rewards and punishments. It has nothing to do with some tyrannical life auditor operating on rudimentary carrot and stick equipment in the sky.

It's got nothing to do with some nice god high in the sky. It's as simple as "as you sow, so shall you reap." The only trick you should be aware of is brainstorming.

I can recall every instance in my life where I felt a lot of karma. I am appreciative of my parents since they constantly serve me a reminder of KARMA. Few people who are close to me frequently curious about how this process functions and what consequences result from constantly acting in the right path. As I am too young to answer because I have to discover a lot so for now all I know is that sometime things are done badly so that you might learn from it, and we then ask ourselves, "Why me?" in response to the question of why we exist. The truth is that everyone works hard. Everybody is growing every day and everyone is suffering in their  सफर. Rather than crying to God, one must be prepared to learn from their experiences and emotions.

Recalling the day of my life when I experienced the real karma, I wrote few lines that says –

I doubt that I am who I am. I've evolved over time into someone who is essentially just a walking corpse that has been contaminated by the ruins of all the individuals I've already met and will continue to encounter.

I'm not the one doing anything I do, thinking, choosing, saying, or speaking in a certain way.

I think the people we have encountered throughout our lives have shaped each of us into the people we are now. Sometimes we take on someone else's accent, eating habits, song preferences, cafe preferences, places and dreams, dressing style, advice on how to look good on ourselves, perspective on the world, and manner of Everything about us—the way we enjoy the outdoors, our spirituality, beliefs, and superstitions, how we build relationships or choose to be alone, how we view other people, the songs we listen to, the lyrics, the emotions they evoke, our feelings of rage and anxiety, our habits, our characters—is shaped by the people we spend our formative years with, part ways with, or devote our energies to.

I'm trying to convey that you should be careful while investing in something or someone. For it's not only that we impact them; they also affect us. Make sure to concentrate on what you will become rather than what you currently desire. Desires never go away, but your inner vitality does.

In conjunction, we become what we are with.

Love & Peace on your way! ❤️

[tiffanymmull]

Week 2.

I wrapped up week no. one of my mini cut with a loss of exactly one pound. Is this representation of a true pound of fat, or is it the result of decreased inflammation from a healthier, more consistent routine throughout the week? Either way, it is indication that the choices made this week were in support of my goals, resulting in eagerness to continue moving forward with healthier habits.

I kicked off the week with a full body lift, a Peloton ride, and 15 minutes to follow in the sauna. On Tuesday I got in a workout at OT after coaching, which was the final day of "Hell Week." A sneaky little game of paper, rock, scissors, resulted in over 50 reps of dumbbell squat cleans, and all-out hill climbs on the treadmills. Tuesdays are for two-a-days, so I got in an upper body workout that focused primarily on shoulders, followed with another 15-minute sauna session. Wednesday afternoon I hit legs with a focus on quads, and another sauna session for 20-minutes. Thursday morning after coaching, I got in a group workout at OT and wouldn't you know the first half on the weight floor was a lower body block. I kept the weights light so my legs could withstand the sprints on the rower and tread after heavy legs the day before. Friday and Saturday were my rest days this week, and this morning's workout included skill training with an emphasis on hang cleans and front squats. I hope to get in another 20 minutes in the sauna this evening to wrap up my sweat sessions for the week.

As I mentioned in my last post regarding nutrition, getting in adequate protein each day is top priority. Last week, lean ground beef was my main go-to, and this week I added in eggs, turkey sausage, and fish. Protein powder is supplemented almost daily when I'm coaching or on the go, usually in the form of a latte or a Fairlife shake. My carb sources are currently coming from fruit, and reserved for pre and post workout. In my final meal of the day I am allowing for starchier carbohydrates combined with vegetables. My last cut (which was this same time last year), had the exact opposite approach. I chose starchier carbohydrates surrounding my workouts, and eliminated almost all fruits with the exception of berries and apples. Why the change if one approach seemed to work well in the past? Well, I'm a nutritional science nerd. I love learning how foods affect me differently, and you can almost always guarantee there will be some differences along the way.

There is no one approach to nutrition that works for everyone, whether it be for fat loss or muscle building. I have experimented with multiple dietary avenues ranging from vegetarian to paleo, intuitive eating to macro-tracking, intermittent fasting to carb-cycling, and every single approach can be successful if consuming whole, unprocessed foods, consistently. In fact, one approach could yield better results at one point in your life, depending on training structure and design, where as another may be more suited when a few years older, or lifestyle changes are made. We are all ever-evolving, and nutritional guidelines for each individual often require change to accommodate differences. As for me, I simply love the experimentation of it all.

One question I always get asked when trying to lean down a bit, "Do you allow for a cheat meal, and alcohol?" Throughout the week I prefer to keep a regimen and routine, but If it's the weekend and I have plans, I will allow for something a bit more flexible. I do my best however to remain mindful of my goals. If I have an evening out, I opt for Mezcal or Titos, or light beer, and I keep it to three or less. I try to keep added sugar to an absolute minimum, so I save naturally sweetened treats for the weekends, which then feels like an indulgence. I also trade out my protein lattes for coffee shop lattes with sugar-free sweeteners. I avoid fast food unless it's Starbucks egg white bites, but I will go out to a meal for sit-down dining.

My daily rituals of grounding, 10,000+ steps, breath-work, and talks with Jesus remain constant, so now I'm looking to incorporate a couple more habits: sleeping with my phone in another room, and being inverted at minimum, three to five minutes each day....because what could it hurt.

[free--therapy]

It's anon!

This fear I had back then kinda came back recently...like having anxiety about anxiety itself. Like feeling different than people around me (who don't seem to worry or overthink about pointless stuff like I do like intrusive thoughts and such) or something like that.

You know how many people call it an illness? But that makes me feel weird. Because it's not like I have some illness or disease that needs to be cured right? It's not an illness that I have to cure by taking pills or something. It's just a stress response that led me to forming a habit of worrying and overthinking.

Anxiety is a normal feeling that every human feels and every one worries about things every now and then. It's just in my case, they overthinking and worrying has become a habit because my mind gets anxious whenever I have any irrational thoughts or what ifs.

So I believe that labelling it as a condition or basically a "disorder" makes more sense because then I can believe that I'm not ill but rather just have made a habit of overthinking and worrying and gotten stuck in a anxious cycle is all.

I've been reminding myself that anxiety is a common feeling and that there's nothing wrong with me.

And so I know I can replace these unhealthy thinking patterns with healthier ones and get my mind to a more healthy state again where it feels anxiety in normal levels like every human does!

But you know I had gotten two books back then that I still have which are actually very helpful when it comes to anxiety. One is "At Last A Life" by Paul David and other is "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-based Approach" by psychologist Sally M. Winston. Both are really good books.

The things my therapist from two years back told me are very similar to what I read in those books. Both books talk about anxiety being a stress response from unhealthy thinking habits over time.

But both also talk about recovery in a very easy to understand way. Things like when I worry about how to get out of this situation of anxiety, I can remind myself that I don't need to do anything. Umm I didn't explain that well actually.

But just that all the thoughts we have are in the end, just thoughts. They bear no certainty or absolute truth. So we can observe them without judgement and without feeling the need to "do" something about it.

Similarly, for stuff like panic attacks or de-realization too, we don't have to actively "try" to get rid of those feelings.

So basically, when we feel anxious, feel any physical symptoms or find ourselves overthinking and worrying, instead of thinking of it as "abnormal" we can think of it as normal response of our body to perceived threat. Something that everyone has!

And so instead of trying to get rid of those thoughts or feelings or sensations, it's to accept them and allow them and continue with life regardless because they are not actually harmful! So allowing whatever thoughts or feelings to come and not caring about the "content" of the thoughts but rather, not deeming them as important by not trying to get away from them is the key to recovery.

There's this sentence I read: Recovery happens when it no longer matters whether you have these thoughts or not. When that sense of importance is removed from the thoughts and they remain what they really are: just thoughts that every one has.

I think it's a great way of thinking about this whole thing.

What do you think about this?

I tend to wake up every morning and within a few seconds I'll think something like "oh but I'm dealing with anxiety" or "oh but I've been having problems with these xyz thoughts"

That's the thinking I want to change. So instead of thinking like that, when I wake up, I try to replace those old thoughts with something like "oh I've just been overthinking about my thoughts this past one month that's all" or "I don't have to control the outcome but just focus on living life knowing that I'm okay"

So instead of thinking"oh I've been dealing with anxiety" I try to think something along the lines of "I've just been worrying and overthinking about my irrational thoughts is all"

It's not something that has "happened" to me like an illness. So it's not because I "have" anxiety disorder that I have these thoughts or that I worry about these thoughts. But rather it's the other way around. It's because I get anxious from these thoughts and worry and overthink about them that it's labelling as anxiety.

When I think like that, I can think more clearly. Basically, when I stop trying to solve the problems in my mind that don't actually exist, and learn to think of these thoughts as just "thoughts" without judgement, the anxiety will go away by itself.

So it's not the "anxiety" itself that I need to combat but rather the overthinking and worrying. When I learn to do that properly, the anxiety will go away by itself. Something like that.

Because I've suddenly started thinking about anxiety like I did two years ago. Like it's something that's happened to me and that's causing all the thoughts and worries. But that makes it seem like I need to do something about the anxiety which I know is a wrong way to think.

When I learn to accept, allow and deal with the irrational thoughts, when I stop trying to indulge in the worrying and overthinking, those thoughts will go away on their own and so will the anxiety.

Of course, it's a normal response so I may feel it from time to time like anyone else but I'll be okay.

Also, when I find myself worrying about the anxiety itself and overthink thoughts like "will the anxiety always stay?" "Or this anxiety is something that has happened to me" or "how can I recover or if it's even possible?" When I think about thoughts like that, is it still okay to label them as just thoughts too and not believe them? Is it okay to move on from them?

Is that a healthy way to think?

I'm kinda confused. Am I ill or is this just a setback? Am I simply overthinking and worrying too much about things I read/watched related to anxiety?

How do I approach this? Is it okay to keep doing what I was doing? That is, to label all irrational intrusive thoughts as thoughts and move on?

But when my mind makes me think "you're mentally ill right now" so what do I do about that thought? Do I just label it as a thought and not "fact" and move on too? And if it's true then what? What do I do? I'm so confused about this 😭

I mean, when the intrusive irrational thoughts are about something else like intrusive images, or worrying about something else then I can remind myself this is just a thought and not true. But when the worry thoughts are about anxiety itself? Then what do I do?

Because for me, all that's happening is I'm overthinking and worrying about all the what ifs and irrational intrusive thoughts of all sorts. But then eventually getting clarity and moving on. So idk I'm kinda confused on how to go about it?

Until now, with all my other thoughts, (like intrusive images or what ifs about other things), I used to tell myself "it's normal. Everyone has these kinds of thoughts but most people don't bother with it. They can just not be bothered by them or even if they do get bothered, they can easily move on" so I used to think "well I can learn to do it like that too because I have been doing that the past year and a half too! Suppose if my sister can imagine xyz intrusive image and not be bothered then I can learn to let it go too"

But what about worry thoughts about anxiety and anxiety disorders and mental illness itself? How do I treat them? The same as all other thoughts?

Do I tell myself that I'm fine and just overthinking about this too?

And this is sort of unrelated but my sister has a habit of sometimes plucking her hair. I just read about this recently again so I thought I should ask? She says it's fun to feel the different textures of hair and the thing is I used to have this habit too. For the same reason- I thought it was fun to feel different textures of hair but I left it. Now she has it. But once in a while, I may find myself doing it too but it's like...whatever. Umm I know it can be a condition too but if it's simply for fun, is it still a problem/condition? Or is it just a bad habit? Because I remember reading something two years back about it being a BFRB disorder "trichotillomania" or something. But again, what I meant to ask was- is it always a disorder or condition or can it just be a bad habit if it isn't triggered by any distress or isn't excessive and doesn't cause any distress?

I mean, if it isn't affecting my life in any way and isn't necessarily triggered by anything, if it isn't really a bother then? Or does the criteria like what part of the body you pull hair from or anything else matter? I hadn't even noticed it or never thought about it because it's a minor thing...once in a while habit sort of. And since I have strawberry skin and ingrown hairs, I sometimes tend to pick at it too like if I'm doing nothing and see it but it's a very minor thing. But when I read that post recently, I suddenly started worrying if it's a disorder too? Or is it a BFRB too? Or something like that.

I'm so confused as to what makes it a "problem" versus when it's just a habit like any other? Am I just overthinking again?

Hey Anon

Yea, I don't like to call it an illness, maybe a disorder if anything, but that's only because your mind is thinking irrationally, which triggers an emotional and physical response in the body…but like you said, it's not really something that you need to cure because anxiety is a helpful and necessary survival mechanism of our bodies. It's definitely something EVERY one feels. I don't believe that anyone is completely fearless because you can skydive but still be afraid of spiders or get nervous/anxious taking a test or making sure you don't get hit by a car when you're crossing the road. It's just a matter of everyone's ability to handle those worries and stresses, which is where society has severely crippled most of us.

Yes! We are merely just observers of our thoughts! We do not have to act on them, but we can allow them to be thought and accept them for what they are, whether we want them or not. We can control how we react to them.

There's this sentence I read: Recovery happens when it no longer matters whether you have these thoughts or not. When that sense of importance is removed from the thoughts and they remain what they really are: just thoughts that every one has.

I LOVE THIS. It's so true! It's really all about a shift in your mindset to no longer let your thoughts have control over you. It takes practice and patience to get to this point, but it's definitely possible.

I know what you mean by having those kinds of thoughts when you wake up. I would wake up with similar thoughts, but moreso about my depression.

When I think like that, I can think more clearly. Basically, when I stop trying to solve the problems in my mind that don't actually exist, and learn to think of these thoughts as just "thoughts" without judgement, the anxiety will go away by itself.

Yes! You're definitely grasping what it means to not let your thoughts have control over you. This is amazing

Also, when I find myself worrying about the anxiety itself and overthink thoughts like "will the anxiety always stay?" "Or this anxiety is something that has happened to me" or "how can I recover or if it's even possible?" When I think about thoughts like that, is it still okay to label them as just thoughts too and not believe them? Is it okay to move on from them? Is that a healthy way to think?

Yes! I know it almost feels sort of meta to have those kinds of thoughts, but you're really just reminding your mind that you're self-aware now and that even these kinds of thoughts are still just thoughts…and honestly, I think they're normal to have as a person who is now self-aware lol. You're on the right track, even though it may feel like you're confusing yourself. Like I mentioned above, you are just an observer of your thoughts, so it's normal to think these things and to even label them as just thoughts and not facts because they're not rooted in factual evidence.

There was a time where I used to think I was addicted to being depressed and that I just wanted to stay that way, even though I was trying to get help. It's honestly just SO hard to think of yourself thinking differently or changing because you've been so used to being one way.

The thing with trichotillomania is that it's another stress response, but it's more compulsive to extreme senses. I used to have this at some point too (not too severely) and I found that through healing my depression and anxiety, it lessened over time. I do that thing too where I look for a weird texture in my hair and pull it out, but it's usually when I'm bored. It was a bad habit of mine in the past and I think it was because it gave me a sense of control because I was filtering out the "bad" hairs because they were different than the rest. Or at least that's what I think it was lol. It can definitely become a bad habit for some people because they'll do it to a point where they get bald spots, which can then lead to self-esteem issues and so forth. I think it's normal for people to want to "nitpick" at themselves and I mean have the wanting to pop pimples, pull out ingrown hairs, etc., but it's the extreme end where it crosses the line of bad habits into a disorder. And no, I don't think it matters where on the body you do it. People pluck all their eyebrows and eyelashes out, their body hair, etc.

[ygg-yiggles]

Old Art: Inktober 2022, part 1

I have participated in Inktober since 2019, on Twitter up until now. To breathe some life into my blog here, I'll post my work from past years over the next few days, along with my thoughts and explanations where relevant, using the more long-form format of tumblr to its advantage. Please mind this small content warning before you continue reading: Some of what I drew for this quite odd and creepy, and in at least one case (day 14), arguably gory. Keep this in mind as you read and view the art.

Day 1: Gargoyle This one was fun. I did a poor job of making it actually look like it was perched on the wall and the wall itself was a pain, ultimately resulting in something kind of halfassed and iffy looking, but still, I had fun with it, and I think the gaping red maw looks pretty decent, all things considered. I used a grey ink--if I recall, it was Noodler's Lexington Gray--for this one, though only sparingly.

Day 2: Scurry Some of the anatomy is screwy here, in particular the catgirl's hands are all kinds of gnarly in ways I didn't intend. Ink is unforgiving. These aren't really meant to be any characters in particular, but I was probably influenced a little by Nazrin from Touhou Project and undeniably heavily inspired by Maekawa Miku from The Idolm@ster Cinderella Girls. You might immediately notice two things about this image: firstly that it is clearly more true to the color of the paper and secondly that the left edge curves away, gets blurry, and has a bit of a shadow. Day 1's drawing was simply captured by my phone camera, but I used my scanner for this one. That took time to set up (I have a bad habit of putting things on top of the machine and I have to reposition the whole thing because the USB-B cable I have is too short), so I didn't always use it. There's another scanner now, though, which I can use much more easily.

Day 3: Bat GAHHH why did I go right back to the phone camera? Oh well. The anatomy here is really poor especially around the legs, but I tried to be a little more dynamic with the pose than I usually would be. Evidently, I didn't properly plan this from the beginning, since the torso is on a somewhat different perspective plane than it should be. Oh well, not everything works out as you'd want it.

Day 4: Scallop I love drawing spooky little creatures. Here, we see a sea scallop, but with spindly arms and legs. This is only slightly more monstrous than what live sea scallops actually look like. Did you know they have like 200 eyes, all lined up in a row along the edge of the "mouth"? Crazy. There's also a moray eel in entirely imaginary colors here. It seems about as freaked out by the scallop creature as is appropriate.

Day 5: Flame Dragon girl! I should really put this under the scanner someday. Overall I mostly like how this turned out, though I clearly had no clue what to do with the breasts. Probably should have grabbed some references.

Day 6: Bouquet This time, the gnarly fingers were absolutely intentional. Here we see an elder vampire or something, perhaps some other kind of aged fantasy man, enjoying several flowers. I think they were based upon a couple specific real flowers, but I can't quite recall exactly what they were.

Day 7: Trip This is one I'm really glad I went through the trouble to use the scanner for. There are certainly things that could have been improved, but overall, I'm still quite proud of this one. Two girls on a road trip in an Autobianchi Bianchina, stopped on the side of the road for... I dunno, looking at the scenery, I guess. I don't know if that car was ever sold in this color, but it's what color I'd want one in.

Day 8: Match Matching outfit elves. The anatomy and basic geometry of this one was completely unsalvageable by the time I realized what was going on. Alas, at least it was properly scanned.

Day 9: Nest Sometimes you go into a drawing with an image in your head that's too complex to hold for long and when you zoom in in your mind to look at the details, you lose it. Ultimately, though, when I look at it now, that worked out better than if I had faithfully rendered every piece of trash in the garbage heap that this giant, mechanical bird-thing has built. Seriously, this looks way better than I remember it looking. I also used the grey ink here again, I think to much better effect than with the gargoyle.

Day 10: Crabby Crabby child, crab hat, "Feelin' Crabulous!" shirts. Not much more to say other than wow that mom character looks weird. I think I did a pretty decent job of depicting a child in the middle of a tantrum over god-knows-what here.

Day 11: Eagle A man and his concerningly large eagle. If I recall, this was meant to depict a Haast's eagle, an extinct species from what is now New Zealand. Or at the very least it was mostly inspired by that. In other words, it's completely nonsensical for a man in a heavy coat, fur hat, and snow goggles to have one as his companion, but somehow it just felt right. I used a bunch of different colors of brown micron and even fountain pen ink for this, and I think the effect turned out well.

Day 12: Forget Creepy creatures what take your brain out and make you forget things. The head being comically outsized compared to the rest of the body was actually intentional here--I felt the strange proportions would further bring focus to the point of the action and also just make the whole scene feel even weirder.

Day 13: Kind More weirdo creatures. I thought it'd be fun to depict kindness between alien things rather than more easily relatable humans or animals. This color palette also happens to be enjoyable to me. This is another one featuring some fountain pen inks, but I can't recall what they were.

Day 14: Empty Yeah, this one is pretty gross and freaky. Sorry about that. But hey, that was the idea. Mission accomplished, right? If I remember correctly, this one included Diamine Oxblood ink, to get that fleshy cavern look.

Day 15: Armadillo Yep, it's Tarkus. As in, the album by Emerson, Lake & Palmer. I guess you could consider this a gijinka? The nameplate thing bearing the day number and prompt is based on the colors of the ground in the album art.

..And that's it for now. I'll do days 16-31 tomorrow or the next day, depending on how much I can think of to write about those. If you made it this far, thanks for reading and for looking at my art.

[ylizam]

oh hey it’s a 2kBi!teen not-resolutions list! things I want to do this year include:

continue writing a bit (even just a single word) every day (started in November, and it’s been working so why change it?)

continue regular writing-outside-the-house dates (currently Tues/Sun)

get stronger (work toward this goal counts)

this includes getting a new therapist

plus going to the gym with @lastkodachrome (starting at 1x/week to get into the habit, since that worked with outside-the-house writing)

make Liam Neeson fight a wolf (plan forthcoming)

go out to dinner / drinks by myself while I’m in the UK in March instead of careening from Doing Things directly to takeaways in my hotel room

(takeaway on a park bench or in my room being a thing I am prone to do while traveling solo, which I enjoy right until mealtime)

p.s. I’ll be in the UK the last week of March (tentatively going to Conwy for a couple of days and then London for a few more, but other than theatre plans in London Fri/Sat nights nothing’s set in stone) if anyone wants to meet up or send me recs or whatever

finish the following writing projects:

the last tango in halifax au

(to kill celia off or not to kill celia off, that is the etc.)

five people serena campbell didn’t fall in love with, etc.

(first the epic serena through the years rewatch! then profit!)

start(/finish or at least put in solid work on) the following writing projects:

other fic, as inspired, etc.

(no, not the kate stewart adventures)

keep up with weekly berena fix, also write unfilled asks

one of the original fiction ideas

probably exes reunited by the whims of a casting director

backburner: exorcist nuns, 1920s hollywood marriage of convenience 

be more social (online counts)

transfer the rest of my fic to AO3 

including the stuff I never migrated over from LJ, wow

take a pastry making and/or decorating class

scritch cats and tell them they’re pretty at least 1x/day

[bartonbones]

headcanons and musing on ms mama bear herself and carmy's various traumas below the cut. trying not to make my blog look as unwell as it has the past few weeks, however, very much still ill in the head over the shrimp man

me every time carmy mentions his mommy issues:

let me in!!! let me in u son of a bitch!! tell me about ur mom!!!

anyway. i digress. so the main clues we have in canon about the berzatto's siblings mom are, in vague order of appearance (aka my memory):

sugar telling carm in ep 1 that mom would love to see him after he mentions that no, he hasn't talked to her. it feels like sugar is on good enough terms with their mom while carmy is def not.

richie mentioning that he took care of their mom for months before carmy came after mikey died--carmy's mom is unstable for (gestures vaguely) any number of reasons

"she full psycho?" "she wasn't calm, but the food was great" --their mom had always been some level of unstable, but there's clearly a point at which she becomes unstable to the point that carmy considers it a distinct difference

"i mean, you blame the restaurant. you don't blame mom. you don't blame mikey." why is their mom before mikey?? carmy has such strong negative feelings about her that he puts her before mikey--someone whose fucking pills he just found in a drawer!

"it's bullshit" "sounds like mom" "i'm serious" "i'm serious" ?????? !!!!!! ???????? if nothing else "sounding like mom" is an insult but also ?????

"mom always added raisins!" interesting to me--mikey is the one who is presented as always cooking for the family, even when carm's talking about tina spending christmas at his mom's, it's mikey who was making the food. but sugar has clear and nostalgic memories that involve their mom's cooking--although, notably, it's decidedly in the past tense, even though their mom is still very much alive and present to sugar in canon, and this takes place years before canon

"this is a very special dish in my dysfunctional, nightmare of a household" --carmy doesn't seem to have any bad feelings or memories of mikey until after he starts freezing him out, and considering their dad was out of the picture around the time carmy was born/was very young, one presumes this nightmare and dysfunction has to be related to their mother

the other points that i think are interesting that just sort of relate to carmy's Issues (tm) are

a) the parentification of mikey and sugar berzatto--carmy so clearly leans on them and like went to them for support and guidance, and as always, TheAngelTattoosAreForMikeyAndSugarBreakdown.exe

b) carmy's disassociation when people are fighting/yelling at him if he's not feeling defensive or particularly fighty enough to yell back. the way Chef says such cutting and horrible things to carmy--you're not tough, it's all a show, you're a fraud, you should be dead--and carmy just has to blink and continue working. the way he stares in to the middle distance for like two entire fucking minutes while richie and cicero scream at each other. i mean, if there's one thing this boy can do it's disassociate. the kid can leave the country. he sends himself to the cornfield. goodbye carmen berzatto hello shoving trauma down into ur shoes and hoping there's No Future Consequences for This Action

anyway i've been thinking for weeks about what i think the deal could be between carmy and his mom and while this is truly just a headcanon i'm forming and i also have a habit of never being a correct when i make headcanons, but the idea i'm sort of rolling around with is like clearly their mom was unstable for enough of their childhood for their house to be a "dysfunctional nightmare" but is stable enough now for sugar to have a relationship with her and want carmy to have a relationship with her, too, so my thinking is maybe there is some severe mental illness that wasn't getting treated or cared for while they were kids, but maybe is now that they're adults, chiefly, while carmy isn't there to see it.

i think some kind of variation of bipolar works well here, maybe? it would help explain some of carmy's disassociation skills, if their mom could be verbally abusive when she was manic, and the parentification of sugar and mikey if during depressive episodes there was little functioning. if that's carmy's childhood and that's his impression of his mom, then of course he's not going to want to go home to see her. but if she gets treatment/medication/guidance later in their adulthood while carmy is globetrotting and getting verbally abused by other significant figures in his life, then sugar might have a relationship with her at that point and want carmy to "talk" to her and maybe reach some closure too, if that's what she was able to do. and carmy obviously doesn't believe in that becuase he's carmy in s1 of the bear and his relationship with his mom is probably approx #87 or #89 on Pressing Mental Health Issues to Address.

anyway this is very long and if any one reads it and has thoughts let me know. i just want to get into the head of this shrimp man and excavate his trauma for shrimp dumplings. i want to KNOW. let me IN. CARMEN!!!! let me IN!!!!

[homestuck-loving]

hhh can't see the dates on the post but if u r still here - can i get some caliborn x reader hcs? yeah, i'm over here in 2022 going like "hear me out"

-☁️

Cloud Anon, I don't know if you're still out there but this is for you. I got a little carried away with this. What can I say, Caliborn's fun to write.

This is apart of the Caliborn redemption AU I had going on I guess. Enjoy!

Caliborn x Reader Hcs!

The two of you met when he had messaged you. Calling you and your friends crude names and drawing “lewd” pictures. Unlike your friends, you decided to humor this “undyingUmbrage.”

Through many stubborn chat logs, you’ve learned that his name is Caliborn and that he’s pretty insufferable. Somehow, you looked past his unsavory behaviors and continued to chat with him. 

Caliborn’s messages started as mean spirited and almost cruel. After some time of chatting and playing the game, it almost seemed like he started to mellow out.

Fast forwarding through sburb shenanigans, you’ve ascended to god tier. The final fight is drawing near. Caliborn had stopped pestering you a bit ago. He claims that there’s something he must finish. You’ve collected your belongings and prepared to fight.

Suddenly, a light flashes behind you. Red gears click together as a figure begins to form. A grating voice laughs. “Finally, the Lord makes his appearance!” 

Caliborn joined you in fighting, though he claimed it was purely for his enjoyment. Once the game has been won and Earth C has been created, everyone begins to find their place.  

On Earth C, everyone had each other, living arrangements were made easy. Though, with everything Caliborn had done, he had nowhere to go. Against your mind’s logical side and your friends’ warnings, you decided to let Caliborn stay with you.

In the beginning, he was terrible to live with. He couldn’t keep a job, he never cleaned up after himself, and he was incredibly rude.

He seemed to walk all over you with pride. Though one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. Never in the years of knowing the cherub did you ever express anger towards him. To hear you yell at him and be angry, something changed in Caliborn.

Waking up the next morning, your house had been cleaned up. It wasn’t perfectly tidy but it looked like you were the only one to live there. Upon asking Caliborn about it, he brushed you off.

“As if I’d do anything for your pleasure. You can pleasure yourself for all I care. Why are you laughing?! No! Not like that! It was a figurative speech!” 

After that, he never really seemed to leave you alone. When going out, he’d always walk next to you. He takes any seat available near you. He’s even started eating meals with you. 

One day, you were hanging out with Dirk and he had a few questions.

“So, when’s Caliborn taking you out on a date?”

“Why would we go on a date?”

“Are you two not dating?”

From that day, you’ve begun to look at Caliborn's actions differently. Before you had the chance to ask about his behavior, he had barged into your room. Not saying a word, he threw a bundle of crumpled flowers and a crudely drawn card at you, followed by him slamming the door shut. 

Seems like you’ll have to be the one to take him on a date.

And now a few Redrom headcanons:

Caliborn claims to hate affection. However, you don’t miss the times when he sits so close that your thighs touch. He also has an affinity for climbing into your bed late at night. Don’t question him about it though, he will get snappy.

He’s pretty short as a cherub, coming up to under your shoulders. He does like being carried around, though only in the privacy of your own home. That’s a bit too risque for his tastes.

He finds the concept of kissing weird and gross. In place he’ll bonk his head into your body. 

Hair is something that intrigues Caliborn. If you let him, he’ll mess with yours for hours. Though he is quite heavy handed.

Caliborn is prone to jealousy. Old habits die hard, he’s not above threatening peoples’ lives. But he's kinda working on it.

If you wish to hold him, introduce it slowly. Most affectionate gestures are completely lost on him.

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Love Conquers All

Zuko x Male Reader

Word Count: 1856

-------------

Y/n could understand where Zuko was coming from, but he knew he wouldn't be surprised if it didn't go as well as he had perhaps envisioned.

It was all very well and good that he had finally found his way, but he had hurt the Avatars group a fair bit before finding his way. Y/n also knew that as someone who had been a part of Zuko's attempts to hurt them, he had no leg to stand on in helping smooth the situation over. He hadn't been as single-minded in his focus on capturing the Avatar, but he had only cared because Zuko cared.

He didn't think that would matter to them, but then, Y/n didn't particularly care one way or the other how they felt about him. The only person who mattered to him was Zuko. Well, and Iroh, but that was a given of anyone who had met the calm old man.

When they made it to the kids campsite Y/n hung back, staying by the exit. It wasn't that he didn't trust them not to ambush him and Zuko, oh wait, it was that. Never mind.

Y/n watched the exchange carefully. He could feel it in the air mere seconds before she struck.

Faster than their eyes could follow, Y/n moved. By the time that everyone had caught up with the events, Y/n was standing in front of Zuko, sheathing his sword after having deflected Katara's water whip.

Silence reigned for a single heartbeat. Then Katara shrieked in outrage.

"How dare you!"

Y/n was sure she was still speaking, but he had a habit of being selectively deaf when it most benefited him.

And then, with almost no warning she was throwing water at him with increasingly wild movements.

It was no match for Y/n's technique.

It wasn't common knowledge, in fact, he had hidden it for most of his life, but Y/n was an airbender.

Yeah, literally the biggest lie in their world was that there were no more airbenders. The Air Nomads had had the practice of removing non-benders from their society and giving them to the other kingdoms.

What they didn't know was that all it took was for the right circumstances to happen and suddenly you had airbenders in the descendants of those non-benders.

It didn't change much ultimately, they were so few that they wouldn't ever be considered a threat to anyone, not that the Air Nomads had been when the Fire Nation had attacked them a hundred years ago.

What it all came down to, was a confused child suddenly developing powers that no one was able to control anymore.

Luckily for Y/n, the only person who had been around the first time he had bended was Zuko. As secrets tend to do, it had bound the two closer together than anyone would have thought ever since that day.

It was a loyalty that had seen Y/n stowing away on the ship Zuko had been banished on, and one that had been returned by Zuko had never once considered that the apparently Fire Nation child could be the reborn Avatar.

What it came down to, was that Katara was having no luck besting Y/n. Much as he wanted to put her in her place properly, Y/n knew that what they were trying to accomplish here would be hurt by that. From the looks of things though, they might have lost that chance.

Y/n stayed on the defensive, letting her tire herself out instead of outright attacking. He was worried about the look the Avatar was giving him though. That wide eyed expression couldn't mean anything good for his secret. He had always known that it would come out eventually, but he had hoped it would last longer than this dammit!

"Katara stop!"

The kid was trying to get in between then now, but the water tribe girl was apparently past the point of caring. She was just not backing down.

"Wait, I wanna talk to him!"

"No! They need to get out of here and never come back!"

Y/n was sure that her words might have been more intimidating if she weren't so clearly out of her league. He decided to ignore the voice in the back of his head that whispered that if he had used even half of his abilities properly before this they might have caught the Avatar long ago.

The element of surprise couldn't be taken for granted after all, and judging from the kid's reaction just now, all they would have had to do was show him Y/n's powers and he probably would have stayed on the ship that first day.

Y/n pulled himself out of his thoughts with a shrug. It was a bit late for that right now.

The Avatar had managed to get between Y/n and Katara, and seemed to be trying to talk her down from her rage. Y/n watched, only mildly interested. This wasn't how he had thought today would go.

He turned to Zuko, who was still standing behind him.

"Are you okay?"

He just looked Y/n over, head to toe looking for injuries.

"I'm fine, but are you sure it was a good idea to show them that? I could have taken a few hits. I've had worse before, you know that."

Y/n clenched his jaw at the reminder.

"I know. I'm sorry. You know how I feel about you willingly putting yourself in danger though. You didn't even try to defend yourself. Don't think I didn't spot that."

Y/n leveled a flat stare at Zuko.

He at least had the good grace to blush in shame and hide behind his fringe.

Y/n turned back to the group of kids gathered in front of them.

He gave them his best blank stare. He had nothing more to say to them, this was about Zuko teaching the Avatar firebending after all.

Besides, he was sure that anything he said would be twisted around and spat back at him by the water tribe girl.

"You're an airbender!"

Y/n refused to give up his secret that easily.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The little blind girl perked up.

"You're lying. You are an airbender? I thought they were all wiped out."

Y/n stubbornly refused to respond. He could see the water tribe girl's eye narrow at his silence. She was just about to explode on him again when Y/n felt a shift in the air. Less than a second later he felt Zuko's hand on his shoulder.

He slumped slightly. Damn Zuko's soft heart.

"Yes. I can bend air."

The shout of pure joy that the Avatar let out was enough to make Y/n feel slightly guilty about keeping it from him the whole time he had been after him.

"I'm not alone! There must be more, right? Some of the monks survived and hid right? Please tell me!"

Man, this kid was excitable, and as happy as he was, Y/n didn't want to be the one to tell him that he was wrong. He couldn't take the soft option of letting Zuko tell him though, they would probably turn on the both of them and Zuko wouldn't be able to fulfill his destiny.

"No."

"No you're not going to tell him?"

That girl was really starting to get on Y/n's nerves.

"No, they didn't survive."

That shut her up.

It also made the kid tear up, but there was no point building a lie just to make him feel better in this moment. That would be more cruel than the truth.

"The only reason that I exist right now is because of your ancestors though. Your people had a practice of testing their babies for airbending potential."

The Avatar was nodding along. Good, this wouldn't be a surprise to him.

"Well, when they showed to be non-benders your people gave them away. They were sent off to the other kingdoms, not welcome in, nor considered to be, a part of the Air Nomads."

"Air Nomads are airbenders, so if they aren't airbenders they aren't Air Nomads. That's just the way things are."

Y/n grit his teeth. It was an old hurt, but it still stung. He pulled in a deep breath and the only thing that stopped him from screaming about the injustice of it all was Zuko's hand that was still on his shoulder lending him the strength to continue.

"Your people were wrong. Occasionally their methods would be wrong, and they would let a bender slip away into another kingdom. But more than that, its in our blood, in the thing that makes us who we are. When enough of your ancestors were born from the Air Nomads, no matter whether they could bend themselves or not, you have the possibility to end up as a bender."

The Avatar's jaw was hanging open as he stared in horror at Y/n.

"But, they couldn't possibly have known that! If they had, maybe they wouldn't have done what they did."

Y/n's eyes shone with a dark light. This was something he would ultimately have to give up, but it was worth planting the seed if he could.

"So your saying that the only possible use non-benders have is the possibility of benders being born from them?"

The Avatar stopped cold and stared at Y/n in horror.

"What? No! Of course not!"

"Then what? You had no problem with the idea that they would be thrown away like yesterday's garbage up until now. The only thing that's changed is this piece of information."

Y/n pulled back as he saw the tears form in the Avatar's eyes.

"Think on that for a while. You have a non-bender in your group. Do you consider him to be useless?"

The kids all looked like they had been hit over the head.

Y/n was sure that this would be the end of their interaction for the day.

"We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe then we can talk without resorting to violence."

He turned back to Katara who looked like she was getting ready to unleash whatever thoughts had been happening in that head of hers.

"Before you put your foot in it, consider this. We have two things you want. One you desperately need, the other, something you desperately want. Have a good night."

Zuko turned and walked back the way they had come, with Y/n bringing up the rear. He didn't trust them not to attack them from behind.

Y/n hoped that with the reminder that they needed Zuko to teach the Avatar firebending, they would be more open to meeting the next day. If that weren't enough, then there was the added bonus of Y/n being the only other airbender that they knew. He was sure that the Avatar wouldn't be able to resist the pull to be around someone who was like him for long.

Either way, they still had a long way to go to convince them that they didn't want to hurt them and that this wasn't a trap.

'Oh well,' Y/n thought as he lay sleepily beside their fire, 'things always look better in the morning.'