#also checked google with all possible search terms and it didn’t pop up

[feidude]

it’s past 3 and i should sleep

[marleahsblogs]

✨ Internet Safety ✨

For our generation today, the internet is probably the safest place to be in. People can be whoever they want, express whatever they want, and enjoy themselves however they want. I must admit, I would also say that I couldn’t live without the internet. Internet is just the solution to every problem, right? Now, we can even earn money in the comfort of our rooms with the help of the internet. Should we spend hours travelling just to buy stuff? Nah, we got the internet! With just several clicks we can already make an order and just wait on our couch to receive it. Oh no, COVID-19 ruled the world! No worries, we are backed up by the internet. Online classes, online transactions, online dating. You name it. The internet is there for us, or is it? Is it our safe haven?

We have put so much trust in the internet, but we didn’t know it can also be our biggest predator. Online transactions were fun until you got scammed and lost all your money. Online dating them feel loved until the person they were talking to is a catfish. Streaming online made him famous and rich, until his account got hacked. And there are still millions of stories out there that should awake us from believing that the internet is the safest thing in the world.

Below are some possible dangers you could encounter online.

1. Cyberbullying

I’m sure many of you have heard of this. But even though we are fully aware of it, it is still one of the major problems until now. As we casually scroll in our social media feeds, it is already normal for us to see people making fun of or “bashing” other people. It became so prevalent that we could call it a normal thing. According to UNICEF (2019), one in three young people has said that they have been a victim of cyberbullying and that it affected almost half of the Filipino children aged 13-17. We need to know that even a single word like “tanga” or “bobo” we see in our social media platforms and online gaming worlds could affect or traumatize us greatly.

2. Data Being Stolen

Some people nowadays are getting better at doing this. They can steal your money from your accounts, apply for a loan or credit card using your name, or sell your information to an online criminal as well. The hidden website is packed with criminals who purchase and sell stolen personal data. If your data is stolen, you can experience spam attacks. But most of these data thefts try to steal sensitive information, such as your credit card or personal information to commit identity theft.

3. Exposure to Inappropriate Material

Another risk especially for children and teenagers are exposure to inappropriate materials that are sexual, hateful, or violent. The chance and probability for children to look at anything inappropriate rely on how much they do online as they get more active online at a younger age. Whether it's a free-time graphic pop-up commercial, children's cartoon characters in adult circumstances or a self-harm forum, an innocent search might expose these children to contents that make them feel puzzled and angry. Some of the inappropriate content includes pornographic material, content containing swearing, sites that encourage racism, violence, terrorism, or even suicide, sexism sites, or gambling sites, and so on.

Based on my own experiences, here are some tips I would like to share to you to look after your privacy and secure your internet safety:

1. Keep your software up-to-date

Not only will you get a better program experience, but you will also be able to iron out your security issues. But the reason why you must keep it updated is that hackers are fast enough to become aware of certain software’s vulnerabilities, thus could harm your computer system and personal data. If you avoid doing these updates, you are bound to face persistent bugs, data loss, malware infection, and of course security issues.

2. Update your passwords

Why do we need to constantly change our passwords? So that we can reduce the risk of other people having access to our accounts, thus corrupt our personal data. Using strong passwords is necessary for us to prove our identity in our accounts, websites, or our computer itself (Wright, 2021). My tip in creating passwords is random characters with a symbol, number, and at least one capital letter. The reason for this is that using weak passwords, such as patterns of letters and numbers, or simply your name and some important date you know can cause hackers to guess and open your account, hence impersonate you to commit fraud and other crimes.

3. Use two-factor authorization

Familiar with this term? Yes, a two-factor authorization (2FA) is an extra step to keep your accounts more secure and avoid getting hacked by others. One of the most common 2FA methods is one-time codes sent through SMS or email, authenticator apps such as Google Authenticator, and security keys such as U2F tokens (Drozhzhin, 2018). This one for me is the best 2FA authorization because only your private key will confirm your login. If someone will try to log in to your account with the wrong security key, they will not be granted access to your account. So, there you go. A series of two-factor authorizations that will secure your accounts the best way possible. You’re welcome!

4. Be careful what you click on

Have you heard of phishers? They are attackers that send a fraudulent message designed to trick and victimize us into revealing sensitive information to them. As scary as it sounds, we need to be aware of what we click on to avoid experiencing this. Phishing is usually done in an email when they get your email address from somewhere. These phishers try to create a fake website to trick you into typing in your personal information. It’s much easier for them to hack our accounts this way. To avoid this, you can check the URL’s legitimacy by using the Google Transparency Report or simply avoid suspicious emails which require your personal information. Think before you click!

5. Back-up your data

Data back-up and recovery has many advantages. Some of these are protecting and saving your data, provides ease of management, ensures accurate information of your data, quick access to data, scalability, and such (Becker, 2021). There are many other ways to back up your data, but here’s a simple way to manually back up your data in your phone is to open your phone’s settings app, tap system and click backup or search backup in your settings app, then tap back-up now. It’s that simple.

6. Set up notifications for your most important bank accounts

As online bank account holders, it is our responsibility to making sure our accounts are protected. Online accounts are one of the easy targets of hackers to whisk away our money with just a couple of keystrokes. To safeguard our online banking, we may choose an industrial-standard security bank or credit union that utilizes text or e-mail warnings avoids the use of public Wi-Fi access and periodically changes your password.

7. Protect your personal information

This might be difficult for those who like to express themselves on social media, but we must protect our personal identity to avoid any sort of online threats. To protect our identity, we must limit the amount of personal information we share or provide. We shouldn't share or provide this information online: exact home address, your place and schedules of classes or work, birthday, cellphone number, and most importantly our passwords or account information. Another tip is to write down in a small notebook all your passwords and keep them safe in a secure place away from your computer.

8. Use parental controls and stay present

With the pandemic going on right now, parents should be extra careful of what their children see and hear about themselves and who they encounter on the internet. To protect your children from internet risks, talk to them frequently, utilize tools to safeguard them and watch out for their work. Monitor the time of your child, especially the younger ones, about when and how long they stay online. Keep your computer at a central location in your house, where it's easy to watch what your children do and look at online. You may configure them for mobile devices to forget Wi-Fi passcodes for your kids not to go online without knowledge. Review privacy and location settings, parental control and use secure browsers, apps, search engines and YouTube search settings. Lastly, limit camera and video to prevent your children from accidentally taking photos or videos of themselves or others.

The internet does not usually hurt us unless we react to suspect material and websites. The first reason you don't know what you're doing is because of internet damage. Secondly, you may react or click on links such as appealing advertisements, infected software and communications when you have other forces. To ensure internet safety, just remember those tips above and these three things: secure your network, be responsible, and make the internet child-safe.

References:

Becker, D. (2021). 6 Advantages of Data Backup and Recovery. IT Central Station. Retrieved from https://www.itcentralstation.com/articles/6-advantages-of-data-backup-and-recovery

Drozhzhin, A. (2018). SMS-based two-factor authentication is not safe — consider these alternative 2FA methods instead. Kaspersky Daily. Retrieved from https://www.kaspersky.com/blog/2fa-practical-guide/24219/

Wright, J. (2021). Why Is it Important to Change Your Password? Small Business Chron. Retrieved from https://smallbusiness.chron.com/

Online bullying remains prevalent in the Philippines, other countries (2019). Unicef Philippines. Retrieved from https://www.unicef.org/philippines/press-releases/online-bullying-remains-prevalent-philippines-other-countries

25 Best Internet Safety Tips for Every Situation (2021). The Neeva Team. Retrieved from https://neeva.com/learn/25-best-internet-safety-tips-for-every-situation

[analogicisms]

Music & Poetry - Chapter One

Summary: Popular-but-not-really-famous lyricist Virgil Quinn meets an attractive poet named Logan who claims to hate music. Virgil, who believes lyrics to be every bit the poetry as the kind found in books and anthologies and inspirational posters, feels the need to prove to Logan wrong.

Ship: Analogical (with others in the background)

Rating & Warnings: PG 13.

Chapters: 1 - 2

AO3: Chapter One

Thanks to @romantichopelessly for betaing and to @sunshineandteddybears and @paperghastly for pre-reading.

---------------------

Chapter One

---------------------

♞ LOGAN ♞

Logan sighed as he checked his phone for the second time in two minutes. He was standing outside of the main hall of the university where he would be speaking on that day. Due to his need for extensive planning, however, he was nearly two hours early for when he was required to be there. 

 He considered checking in with the dean of the school but knew that many people felt inconvenienced by those who arrived more than an hour early. Typically, Logan didn’t care too much about inconveniencing others with early arrivals, but Thomas Sanders, the dean of the school, was not just some man who had invited him to speak at this year’s graduation. Thomas was also a very dear friend of his, and Logan would hate to add any undue anxiety onto the man’s already burdened shoulders. 

Sighing again, Logan considered the time once more before opening Google Maps and searching for nearby cafes. 

 Of course, Logan thought as his eyes took in the ten plus pins indicating Starbucks Coffee shops in the area. It was not that Logan was a coffee snob, though his best friend Roman would disagree, he was simply a man who knew what he liked, and Starbucks was awful in terms of taste compared to value. In his opinion, of course—although anyone who disagreed was an idiot.

 Scrolling down to the list, his gaze was caught by the third listing. The Bumble Bean. Logan hummed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the pun. It was, after all, better than the alternative. 

 He noted the letter corresponded with the shop before consulting the map. Clicking on the name of the cafe, it popped up on the map and Logan clicked its little pin. The shop’s information appeared in a little bubble, including the business hours and, more importantly, the distance from his current location. 

 A block and a half away. Not bad for a walk, especially considering the suit he wore. Decision made, Logan set down his messenger bag long enough to pull off the suit jacket. Lifting his bag from the ground, he draped his jacket over the bag and shouldered the strap once more. 

 A quick click of the directions link on Google Maps and he was on his way. 

     ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

 💀 VIRGIL 💀

 Virgil leaned back in the leather armchair he occupied, covering a yawn with his arm. 

 “Don’t start with that now, ViVi.” 

 Virgil grinned as he looked up at the barista who also happened to be his best friend. 

 “Sorry, Pat.” 

 Patton Hart was five foot four inches of adorable from the top of his curls to his white chucks with rainbow cat faces printed on the material. He also had the endearing habit of worrying for his friends. Especially Virgil. 

 “Late night again?” Patton asked, brows furrowing in concern behind oversized glasses with gold round frames. Virgil nodded. “Sleep is important, kiddo.” 

 Anyone who overheard the conversation would likely wonder why Patton—who easily looked younger than Virgil, though they were actually the same age—was calling him kiddo, but Virgil had come to accept that as just Patton being Patton. He was definitely a mom and dad friend.

 Virgil sighed. “Yeah.” He brought a hand to his eyes, closing them to rub at the lids before offering Patton a winning smile. “These lyrics won’t write themselves.” 

 Patton pursed his lips as he set Virgil’s black coffee down on a coaster. Once he’d straightened up, hands were fisted and rested on hips. Virgil tried his best to hold back a grin, but the other looked too adorable like that and so he failed. Miserably. 

 “It’s not funny, Virgil. One of these days, you’re gonna wish you’d listened to dear ol’ Patton.”

 “And when that day comes, I will gladly accept your ‘I told you so’. Unfortunately, I’m a night owl and my brain works best in the dead of night.” 

 Patton tutted but said nothing else on the matter. “Don’t forget, its drinks night tonight. Emile will be late but I should be able to close up a little early so I’ll be there at ten.” 

 Virgil nodded. “Alright. Honestly, though, I don’t know why I even go. Ever since you two started dating, I feel like such a third wheel. Are you sure you two just don’t want the time to yourself? You and I could always catch up later.”

 “Nonsense. Emile is as much your friend as he is mine, boyfriend or not. And, I don’t want to hear another word about it, mister.” 

 Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Okay, mom.” 

 “Good. Now, drink your coffee before it gets cold.” He glanced up at the front and gave a start. “Oops, gotta get back to work. I’ll try to chat when the rush ends.” 

 Virgil waved him off. “Sure thing, buddy. Talk to you later.” 

 Watching Patton make his way behind the counter, Virgil let his gaze wander to take in the other patrons of the little cafe. A smile slipped onto his lips as he remembered the day three years ago when Patton rushed up to him before blurting out his idea for a bookstore coffee house. Virgil had never seen his best friend so excited about anything in his life, which was saying a lot considering Patton’s default setting was excited. 

 It had taken a lot of work and Virgil had put a lot of money into the place—an investment, he had told Patton when the other tried to refuse—but the struggle had paid off in the end. The Bumble Bean had quickly become one of the hot spots in town, especially for students at the local university and high schools. Virgil was proud of his friend and never missed a chance to tell him, either. 

 The gentle, light sound of the bell on the door sounded and Virgil idly glanced in that direction. 

 Oh. My. God. 

 A man who looked not much older than Virgil--but dressed in way nicer clothes than Virgil had ever owned--stepped inside and looked around before heading toward the counter. Virgil watched him as he made his way across the café, his eyes taking in the man's face as his own heated up considerably. 

 Gay panic is real.

 Virgil quickly looked away, busying himself with drinking his coffee. Unfortunately, due to his preoccupied brain, he had forgotten that coffee was generally very hot, and burned his tongue. 

 “Fuck.” He swore under his breath, tongue now numb and raw. Setting the cup down, Virgil glanced at the man from the corner of his eye. 

 I’m gay. I am so fucking gay.

 Virgil watched as the man stepped up to the counter after the last customer finished paying. He found himself wondering what kind of drink the man would order, mentally reminding himself to ask Patton later. Watching Patton help the man, Virgil guessed at what kind of job the man had. 

 A businessman… then again, those pants are fitted as fuck… lawyer, maybe? Or CEO of some Fortune 500… 

 Pursing his lips, Virgil shook his head. The man didn’t look like a slimy, two-timing, grubby-handed snake. It was possible he was dressed for a specific event. The suit aside, Virgil would guess a professor, or a scientist even. There was no way he would be able to guess correctly, he decided. No point trying. 

 Turning his attention to his coffee, Virgil was momentarily distracted by the sound of feedback coming from the front. A stage was set up on the opposite side of the entrance, a young guy around Virgil’s age if not younger moving the stool closer to the microphone already present. There was a guitar in his other hand and a smile slipped onto Virgil’s face. 

 Virgil Quinn was a college student at the local university but he was also a well-known lyricist. Well, well-known was a little generous considering most people weren’t really interested in lyricists so much as the band or artist themselves. Most lyricists were annoyed by that fact but not Virgil. He liked being famous without actually being famous. 

 Unlike the bands that sang his songs, Virgil could go where he liked, when he liked, with no concern for his safety or his privacy. Even on the rare occasion, a fan did care about the person who wrote the songs, his work was still appreciated and loved from afar. His pictures weren’t the ones being plastered online, on busses, on television ads, and so on. He had more Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube followers than the average person and he was relatively “known”, but definitely not enough that it made much difference to his daily life. 

 That was exactly how Virgil preferred it. 

 “Do you mind?”

 Virgil’s attention had been successfully distracted enough that he hadn’t noticed anyone come up. 

 “Mind?” Virgil’s indifferent attitude quickly turned shy and awkward as he turned to look at the person who asked the question. The gorgeous Mr. Maybe-A-Scientist.

 “I’d like to claim that chair over there but I’ll need to get past you to get there. If you don’t mind.”

 Virgil seized up before mentally reminding himself that this was just another guy. Another human being. He could play it cool. 

 Don’t blush. Don’t blush. Don’t blush. 

 Virgil glanced at the chair before looking back up at the man. He cleared his throat and stood up. 

 In the brief few seconds that past between them as Virgil stood so he could shift out of the man’s way, Virgil became certain of a handful of things. 

 First, the man with his dark gray, nearly black eyes could not be a CEO or lawyer. While his eyes held a certain level of cold, there was far too much feeling in them. Too much depth. Second, the man was at least a head shorter than him but there was no way Virgil would have known if he hadn’t stood up. The confidence the man held about him was absolutely admirable. Virgil would have been worried the man was arrogant or, worse, a narcissist but he seemed far too polite and formal. Instead of self-importance, it was an air of near indifference that radiated from him.

 “Thank you.”

 “Yeah. No sweat.”

 Virgil could have mentally kicked himself. No sweat? Seriously? This man was obviously a man that existed off of intellectual knowledge and discourse. The best he could come up with was no sweat?

 Virgil watched the other’s face, certain to see some sort of sign of dismissal but it never came. Instead, the man raised a brow and a second later, his lips quirked upwards. It was slight. So slight that Virgil wasn’t even certain he truly saw it. That was until the man spoke again. 

 “I still need to get by you, I’m afraid.” 

 Was that amusement Virgil heard laced ever so subtly throughout the carefully chosen words? Virgil glanced at where he stood and swore under his breath. He was an absolute idiot. One thing was certain, however, as Virgil finally moved out of the other’s way. There was a definite spark of amusement in the man’s eyes and voice when he glanced back to thank him, before moving on to the armchair just on the other side of the coffee table. 

 Virgil blushed, quickly sitting once more and trying his best to melt into the couch. Not possible, of course, but he had to give himself props for trying. Deciding he had done enough damage to their interaction, Virgil turned his attention back to the stage where the young man with the guitar was now engaging the patrons sat around the stage. 

 As the singer started playing and fading into his song, Virgil almost forgot about Mr. Sexy Scientist. No, who was he kidding. There was no way he could actually forget about him. Not with him being so damn attractive. Not with him being so damn close. But, his focus was preoccupied just enough to take his mind off the man, if only for the moment. 

 That was, until a sound escaped the man, pulling Virgil’s attention back to him once more. Why is he so good looking? Life hated him. That was all there was to it. Putting such a gorgeous, put together man at arms reach only for Virgil to not have any chance in hell with him. The sound that left the man, however, had Virgil’s curiosity piqued. It was definitely a scoff that he had heard come from the well dressed man. 

 “Not a fan of this kind of music?” Virgil asked, before he could think better of it. He took note that the other had pulled out a book and was presumably reading it. He didn’t even look up at Virgil when answered his question. 

 “Not a fan of music, actually.” 

 Virgil raised a brow. There was no way he had heard correctly. “Sorry, what now?”

 The man looked up this time, a wry sort of expression on his face. It was the look of someone who had had this conversation on more than one occasion and didn’t find it any more enjoyable than he had the first time. Virgil felt bad, but only a little. He was more curious and so offered an apologetic shrug, but continued to look at the man expectantly. 

 The man sighed, marking the page he had been reading with a finger and set the book in his lap. His eyes found Virgil’s and it was all he could do to not look away. Swallowing hard, Virgil waited to hear what the man was about to say. 

 “I’m just not a fan of any type of music. It’s just… not my thing. I guess, classical counts as music and I do enjoy that when I am writing but in the general view of what is music these days, I really can’t say any of it has my appreciation.”

 Virgil frowned. How sad to not like any music. The man looked ready to return to his book but Virgil found himself not wanting the conversation to end just yet. Grasping for something to talk about, he took note of what the man had said. 

 “Writing?”

 The man nodded. He continued to watch Virgil but was obviously not about to offer any further information without being prompted. 

 Just my luck. The most gorgeous man walks into my life and unwittingly challenges all my anxieties. 

 “What do you write?” 

 Maybe he was an author? 

 “I’m a poet.” Suddenly a hand was offered to him from across the coffee table. Virgil took it at the last minute, shaking it and trying hard not to focus on the fact that they were technically holding hands. Too soon, the man pulled his hand back. “Logan Wright. I don’t expect you’ve heard of me but you’ve most likely come across a few of my poems. They’ve been used in various media.”

 Virgil could only nod, unsure of what to say. A poet! Not only that but a poet who doesn't like music. As a lyricist, Virgil was of the belief that lyrics were poetry put to notes in order to make a song—to make music. 

 The man went back to his book and Virgil watched him for a few moments before letting his attention return to the performer. The guy was not the best singer ever but played the guitar like a boss. Still, Virgil could hear the potential and knew well that this man could have a musical career hands down as long as he kept at it. The biggest draw to a singer like this one was that the words could be felt with his voice. That was a quality that so many singers didn’t have but the very quality that proved Virgil’s belief. 

 He knew he shouldn’t care. He knew well that the likelihood of him ever seeing this man—Logan—again was slim to none. Yet, he couldn’t keep his attention from returning to the man. Every few glances, he would see the other wince or grimace. Virgil wanted to feel offended on the singer’s behalf but instead, he just felt pity for Logan. 

 The time soon came when Logan stood and asked by him once again. This time Virgil was quick to stand and smiled shyly. 

 “Hope you have a good day.”

 Wow, could I be any more lame?

 The man smiled, however, and nodded. “Likewise.” 

 Virgil then watched him as he headed out of the shop and back into the world. 

 A few seconds passed, Virgil wishing he had asked for his number or something. Not only that, but the knowledge that the man was missing out on something that was inspiration for millions of people… that just didn’t sit right with him. If only he could spend a few days with Logan… show him what he was missing out on. Prove to him that not all music was bad and so much of it told a story. 

 Fuck.

 Before he could talk himself out of it, Virgil rushed through the shop and out the door. He glanced in the direction the man had gone, his eyes falling on his retreating back. 

 “Logan!” he called out. The man stopped and turned, tilting his head in a cute manner. Virgil didn’t focus on that, instead starting toward him as the man started back, distance closing between them. 

 “Can I help you?”

 Virgil blushed, suddenly unsure of himself. Was what he was about to propose stupid? Whatever. He would never know until he tried. 

 “Give me a week.”

 Logan snorted. “I’m sorry, give you what?”

 Virgil blushed and rushed on. “I mean… in there. What you said about music? Give me a week to prove you wrong.”

 Logan blinked and slowly smirked. “And what makes you think I’ll even be here a week?”

 That stopped Virgil in his tracks. It never even occurred to him that the man was out of town. He felt himself frowning and was about to apologize when the man spoke up again. 

 “I mean, I will be, as it turns out, but it is intriguing for you to just assume so. Still, your proposal has me curious. I don’t know exactly how you plan to change my mind, but I do like experiments as much as the next scholar. I do have somewhere to be at the present, but if you give me your number, I will text you.”

 In the next moments, Virgil gave Logan his number and watched as he walked away. He had no idea how he had managed it, but now that was the least of his worries. 

 Virgil now had just under seven days to change the mind of a very hot, intelligent, and opinionated poet. 

 To say he had his work cut out for him was definitely an understatement.

    ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆ ⌒ ★ ⌒ ☆

Disclaimer:  The author does not own Sanders Sides or any of the characters found therein. They are also not affiliated with Thomas Sanders, Joan Stokes, or the Thomas Sanders team. Only the complete story as it is written is the property of the author and is not to be copied or reposted without express permission from the author.

[the-loners-library]

Big News - Part 2/2

Prompt: Having a baby with Jaskier.

Fandom: The Witcher (Netflix)

Pairing: Jaskier / Reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: Childbirth

Requested by dancingwith-thesunflowers.

Author’s Note: The names mentioned in this fic are both Polish. The meanings were found through a Google search, so may not be completely accurate. Apologies if they are translated wrong.

        Despite the fact that your ankles were swollen, you constantly felt as if you needed to use the bathroom, and you couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in at night you could not remember being as happy as you were now. You were nearly at full-term in your pregnancy and just about to pop any day. The only thing  that was equal parts good and bad was that Jaskier was always by your side.

        It was a constant flip between,

        “Are you comfortable, love?”, “Do you need anything?”, “Would you like a foot rub?”

        To,

        “Do we have enough blankets? How cold do babies get?”, “Do I even know how to hold a baby?”, “What if it doesn’t like me?”

        It was endearing and frustrating at the same time.

        It was especially fortunate that Jaskier never left your side, as at only 38 weeks, you felt the beginnings of what were obviously contractions. They started in the middle of the night.

        The first sharp pain woke you up in a breathless panic. You had experienced the so-called “phantom pains” before now, but this was too severe to not be it. You almost felt the rush of your water breaking.

        “Jas,” you shook him awake. You hated to do it- he hadn’t slept much lately. He simply made a cute little harrumph noise and snuffled back to sleep. “Jaskier!” you shouted as the next wave hit you.

        “Wha?” he said, sitting up and looking around confusedly. He looked around the room in a panic before his eyes finally fell on you clutching your round belly in pain.”Oh no! What’s wrong?! What’s happening?”

        “It’s time,” you breathed out. If possible, his eyes got even wider.

        “I thought you weren’t due for another two weeks!”

        “I haven’t got anything to do with it. This baby is as eager as you, it seems,” you replied.

        Jaskier shot out of bed, almost tripping over the sheets as he did.

        “No. No. No. No,” he spoke, pacing and ruffling his hair. 

        “Jas!” you tried focusing his attention. “Unless you plan on delivering this baby yourself, I think we’re missing some important people.”

        It was then that you could tell that Jaskier remembered the plans you had made many months ago. Although you were an accomplished healer yourself, it was impossible to assist in the birth of your own child. It there that (despite Jaskier’s initial protestations) that you had insisted on having Triss as your midwife. 

        Jaskier had nothing against the witch, he just didn’t like her as Yennefer had introduced the two of you. 

        You and Jaskier had also decided on having your two closest friends present nearby for support- Yennefer for you, and Geralt for Jaskier. It took a lot of pleading and puppy dog eyes from you and Jaskier (and insults from Yennefer) before Geralt gave in (not without Yennefer telling Geralt not to claim another child surprise. You and Jaskier had laughed. The Witcher had not).

        You had to force Jaskier out the door to collect the three of them. There were plans to have all people present in your house before you went into labour, but luckily, they were all staying at a nearby inn.

        You have no idea how long it took Jaskier to reach them and stumble out his words and return. All you know is that you lost count of the time between contractions and you were sweating profusely.

        “Hello, love,” Triss murmured as she walked into the room. “Babes a bit earlier than expected, I see?”

        You immediately relaxed slightly. Now Triss was here, you were certain you and your baby were going to be okay.

        You tried to smile at her in greeting, but it came out more of grimace. She quickly shushed you, and gestured the people in the doorway in. You glanced up and noticed the three other most people in your world right now.

        Geralt stepped forward to help carry you to the room you had assigned as your birthing room- a room with as comfortable bed and necessary healing items. Also where blood, sweat , and tears could be easily cleaned up.

        As you finally laid down, you screamed at the force of the next contraction. Triss gave Jaskier a wet washcloth and placed him at your side with quick instructions to wipe your brow and let you squeeze his hand.

        Jaskier screamed with you next, as you almost broke his hand as you squeezed.

        “Sorry,” you rasped in apology.

        “Shhhh,” he whispered back, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I can handle a minuscule amount of pain.”

        You saw Triss rushing around the room, giving more instructions to Geralt and Yennefer. Yennefer came to you and passed you a pain relief potion that was also safe for the baby. You practically inhaled it, hoping against hope that it would alleviate some of the pain.

        Time passed both fast and slow.

        The only indication of how much time had passed was how weary the others began to look. Jaskier was almost drooping, Geralt was currently trying to meditate during your more settled moments, and Yennefer and Triss were conversing about what to do.

        Finally, you felt a different type of pain. Your instincts told you this was the moment in which you met your little one.

        “It’s coming!” you shouted in warning.

        Everyone quickly jumped up and got ready. Triss made her way to your feet and quickly checked.

        “You’re right, dear,” she spoke. “Time to push.”

        With an almighty yell, you began pushing. You heard encouragements from your friends, and Jaskier was softly stroking your forehead while singing softly under his breath. You almost smiled at that, if you had any energy to spare.

        “Last push!” Triss told you.

        With one lat push, you suddenly heard the shrill cries of a baby. Your body collapsed into the bed. There was a lot of rush but you couldn’t bear to open your eyes- you were so exhausted. 

        “No time to rest now,” Triss reminded you. “Still need to push.”

        “What!” Jaskier yelled. “It’s twins!?”

        Yennefer scoffed loudly and said in a disbelieving tone, “Afterbirth, you idiot.”

        “Oh,” he murmured.

        You could still hear the screams of your baby, but were able to push for the absolute last time.

        And just like that, it was finally over. You were roused by Jaskier as Triss brought over your child in a soft blanket. She placed them in your arms (you needed Jaskier's help to hold them up) and the two of you gazed at the bundle.

        You couldn’t believe it. After all of the years you had spent together, travelling with a Witcher, going on adventures, marrying, living together… your little family finally felt complete. And it was all because of the infant in your arms.

        And the loved ones who had helped you.

        You looked up at your friends and smiled at them. They looked as bad you felt, but you were so thankful.

        “They’re finally here,” you whispered.

        “They’re beautiful,” Jaskier replied.

        “Have you decided on a name?” Yennefer asked.

        You and Jaskier looked at each other. You gave him a nod to indicate that he could tell them.

        “Well…. We thought Jacek for a boy, and Kasia for a girl. Jacek means hyacinth, and Kasia means pure.”

        You knew Geralt would never admit it, but you could see tears in his eyes. The three of them made movements to leave the two of you alone, but as they did, Geralt paused.

        “Is it a boy or a girl, Triss?” he asked.

        “Oh, of course, I can’t believe I forgot,” she said. “It’s a………”

Author’s Note: I’ve left the gender up to you! If I get some feedback asking for a continuation of this series, I will put up a poll for the readers to vote on if the baby is a boy or a girl.

[miniaturestarlightsandwich]

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New framework seems to have performance issues

This version of ABP for the new Safari framework unfortuantely seems to kill performance on my computers. Maybe it’s partially related to them being a bit older (one is a Mid 2011 Mini, the other is a 2012 iMac), but with ABP enabled I can’t even open a new tab/window and type a URL into the bar and expect Safari to accept the input without having to hold down the return key until it goes or wait a minute after opening a new tab or window. I also noticed that using Twitter was jumpy and lagged even with simple typing, it felt like all the dynamic content it relies on was just struggling to be processed through whatever framework Apple is forcing. Hopefully the devloper can figure out the performance issues because it’s really, really bad now.

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why isn’t this working?

I have ABP and it wasn’t perfect but worked fairly well for my needs. Recently, it simply disappeared. (I see someone else said that could be from the latest iOS update, but I don’t have that on my desktop yet). When I tried to reinstall, it showed me two boxes to check. The way I read it, if you checked the box that said you wanted the icon visible in the toolbar, it would be able to read sensitive information of all kinds on any page. What good is an app of any kind that allows for that?! As it was, with only the one box checked, it only blocked very few ads, and I was still getting requests from sites to be whitelisted without being able to fnd any way to do it. I’ve got all kinds of garage showing up on my Facebook page, and you guys have ruined what was a reasonable product. WHY?

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Almost didn’t download the new version based on the recent reviews, however after looking at the other apps here that claim to be ad blockers I didn’t’t see too many alternatives. I decided to go ahead and get the new version and so far its pretty much the same as the old version, lots of ads blocked. I’m happy, just make sure you go through the simple set-up.

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After much research, I understand the issue with Apple changing the rules on the devs so they had to build this app from scratch. Works well for me so far, except for one annoying problem. I use Yahoo mail and it's not hiding the ad that appears in the top line of the inbox even with unchecking the Acceptable Ads box, which is super annoying. I know the devs are watching these reviews, so if someone can point me to an extension or something that will fix that, I'd appreciate it. Was using AdGuard and it fixed that problem, but that app behaves like spyware and is constantly running in the background even after you close Safari.

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[deansawthetvglow]

Prompt: For Dean's birthday, Cas Googles "presents for loved ones" and inadvertently follows recommendations for romantic gifts.

Shit. Okay. Hi anon, i forgot how to see inbox notifs and have no clue if u sent this during my drunk promt ask or sober prompt ask but will fill now.

Alright nvm ^^^ that didn’t happen.

 I lost this prompt for days after I got drunk and I couldn’t find it in my drafts and alas, finally. Anyways, this was written fully sober, lmao.

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart, 2.2k, 

fluff, light angst, post s14. (ao3 link if u want)

It’s January 20th, 4 days out from Dean’s 40th birthday and he still has yet to decide on a gift. It’s his first time, really, buying Dean a birthday gift. Sure, there had been the pack of funny socks he had snagged in passing from the check out at a Gas-N-Sip, but there hadn’t been any thought behind that, no planning, nothing that Castiel thought constituted the socks as a gift. Not really. 

Not only that, but there had never really been occasion to purchase a gift for Dean until now. Sam and Castiel had decided that, with the world coming to an end and all, Dean finally deserved a proper birthday party. In years past, he had either insisted on drowning out his birthday’s with booze or insisted on ‘no gifts.’ 

Castiel isn’t sure why, maybe because the eldest Winchester brother would only feel more indebted to the others around him, or perhaps because he simply didn’t like gifts. Either way, that’s why it became his mission to get the perfect gift for Dean. Something that isn’t a curse, but a comfort. 

The time after Mary and Jack had passed away and Chuck opened the gates of hell had been rough for Dean and him. Sam had kept a protective arm’s length between Castiel and Dean, insisting Dean needed time. It hurt to feel their bond being stretched thin as he’d watch Dean across the bunker from the corner of his eye, careful not to step into his space. Castiel had decided to stay in the bunker despite the tension though, Sam insisting they needed all hands on deck as they began on the long road to killing God.

Still, despite their close proximity, and the time they’ve had to heal, he can’t help but feel further from Dean. 

Cas remembers when Sam told a story of the time he gave Dean a chocolate bar and some motor oil for Christmas. Apparently, Dean had lit up at the sentiment, but Castiel can’t handle settling for something like that. 

Dean deserves something special. 

Castiel begins his search on Google using the simplest, most “Dean” search terms he can think of. 

Men’s flannels

Not special enough

Classic records

Maybe some time, but still, not good enough.

A new pair of boots

Shoes are always too risky. 

Cowboy costume

Halloween maybe, but not for this. 

Guns

Dean already has one he trusts.��

It’s been nearly two hours browsing Google and Amazon before Castiel has to take a break and let his head loll back with a sigh. 

After stretching a bit and standing up to pace the length of the bunker, he finally settles on a Google search that he’s sure will bear fruit. 

Gifts to show you care for someone. 

Castiel takes his time clicking through the links and scrolling through many of the lists. He nearly gives up when finally, an article entitled, “Gifts to Connect You to the Person You Care About”  catches his eye.

Cas smiles at the headline and clicks through the list, cataloging the possibilities away in his mind.

However, all those possible gifts dissipate from his mind as soon as he sees it. It’s perfect, and they have some in stock at the Bed Bath & Beyond an hour and a half away in Nebraska. With that, Cas calls a “Be back later!” into the seemingly empty bunker and heads out to fetch Dean’s gift. 

When he finally arrives at the store, he makes his way inside and heads to the sleep section, his eyes lighting up when he sees what he’s looking for on the shelf below a big “As Seen On TV” sticker. 

Next to the sticker it reads: “Bed Beats” 

Bed Beats are a pair of wristbands and compact speakers that are connected via wifi anywhere in the world. Just slip the wristband on, place the disc speaker underneath your pillow and send a request to your partner through the app. When they slip on their own wristband, the device will relay their heartbeat to your speaker and vice versa. Never feel disconnected again.

Castiel grins, giddy, and picks up the first box on the shelf. It’s exactly what he and Dean need. It’s the perfect way for Cas to watch over Dean without invading his space. It’s anatomical communication without speech. Cas will know when Dean needs help as his heartbeat speeds up, he’ll know when he’s at peace, he’ll know he’s alive. 

He also blinks at the bursting yellow sticker that sits on the top left corner of the box that exclaims, “Great for Long Distance Couples!” 

They may not be a couple, but with the way that their souls and relationship has grown distant, Castiel decides that’s enough to classify them as ‘long distance.’ 

As he waits in the line to check out, Cas also grabs a simple card and a tube of discounted, red wrapping paper left over from the holiday season. 

When he gets back to his car, he decides it’s best to get everything in order before presenting the gift to Dean. When he finally gets into the heavily taped box, he pulls out one set of the wristband/speaker combos and sets it aside for himself. 

Before shrouding the other set in the metallic, red of post-Christmas, 99¢ wrapping paper, he syncs the devices and downloads the app to avoid the hassle of setting it up later. 

Then, he writes, with his thigh as a sort of table, in the card with an old pen he found in the console of his truck. 

I’m including the instruction booklet in this card (please don’t read until after you open the gift!)

Dean, 

I know I’ve made so many mistakes lately, and that perhaps we do not see eye to eye on everything any longer, but this is a chance to connect without having to agree. Just to sleep and not be so alone. 

Happy Birthday. I hope you like it. 

Yours, Castiel

However, he scribbles out the ‘yours’ as it feels out of place in this letter. With that, he seals the card, and the instructions, into a white envelope with Dean’s name in angelic script printed on the front.

The drive home is pleasant and he can’t help but feel butterflies for the moment he gets to present it to his charge. 

The next days pass silently, Castiel with his gift for Dean hidden in his own closet and nearly forgotten amid all the preparations for the party. 

Sam was in charge of inviting people and Dean had insisted on being in charge of food and drinks. On the day of the party, Castiel sits off to the side as many of the guests enter, most are hunters he’s never met before, and he can’t help but feel like an outsider as the day of barbequing and reminiscing devolves into pie and drunkenness by nightfall. 

He’s glad to see Jody and Claire, but even then, their conversations are stilted, both of them want to speak primarily to Dean, the ‘birthday boy’, while Cas isn’t allowed that luxury. 

He sits away from Dean all night, only making contact to say “Happy Birthday, Dean” after he blows out the ‘4’ and ‘0’ candles that someone stuck straight through the latticework on a sweet, cherry pie. Cas smiles as Claire goes up and whispers something to Dean that makes him throw his head back in laughter and begin a lively conversation with her. 

That’s when he realizes he’s on the outside looking in. 

From where he stands, nursing a finger of whiskey, he can see Alex and Garth discussing the medical anomalies of Lycanthropes, Sam, apocalypse-world-Bobby, Donna and Jody playing some sort of cards-and-drinking game, a few people he doesn’t know attempting beer pong in the war room and even a pair of local hunters musing over the library’s expansive collection. 

He’s an outsider like he’s always been with the Winchesters. When he’s not of use, he feels unwelcome. He knows there’s never any ill intent, but even now, when he doesn’t even need his angel mojo, he still doesn’t quite fit. He doesn’t understand half of the banter thrown around the room, he can’t get drunk unless he drinks the entirety of the Men of Letters scotch collection, and he can’t interact with the guests without Dean coming up. 

At this, loneliness overtaking him, he decides to retreat to his room to wait the party out. 

He sends a nod and a tip of his glass to Sam before motioning that he’s leaving, Sam acknowledges him with a grin, drunk on whiskey and the excitement of the party, and Cas slips out of sight. 

Before letting himself rest, he sneaks into Dean’s room to place the card and the gift on his bed. 

He decides it’s best that way.

–

Castiel keeps his personal speaker and wristband close to him, beside his phone on his nightstand, hoping that some night it will be of use. He feels the uncertainty drift in and out as each night passes without so much as an acknowledgment of the gift. 

A week passes before anything happens. It’s 3 am when Castiel’s ears pick up on the small ‘ding’ that pops out of his phone speakers. 

He rolls over and grabs his phone. On the screen sits a notification. 

Bed Beats

Dean would like to share his heartbeat. Accept?

Castiel grins into the dark and arranges the speaker underneath his pillow before securing the soft band around his wrist at his pulse point. 

With a tentative thumb, he swipes to accept and lays his right ear down onto his pillow to hear Dean. He can hear his heart beating quickly, possibly a nightmare, Cas thinks, and wills his own jittery heart to slow. He has to be the grounding one for Dean, has to be a comfort. 

His own heart beats deep like a drum, and soon he can hear Dean’s heart rate slowing to match his own. Soon, they’re in perfect sync with one another. He feels closer to Dean than he has in months and hopes Dean feels the same. 

He listens as his charge’s heart rate begins to slow even more, to around 75 beats per minute, he notes, and assumes he’s slipping into sleep. 

Castiel, usually one for wandering the bunker after the brothers are asleep, doesn’t dare lift his head from his pillow until Dean ends the connection come morning light. 

It continues like this for many weeks, Dean requesting Castiel’s heartbeat in the wee morning hours, disconnecting at sunrise, and going about the days as if nothing has changed. 

Nothing’s really changed during the day. They continue to keep their distance. Dean thanks him for making the coffee one Sunday morning and Sam tells Cas, “See, space is all you needed,” his eyes sincere, “It’s healing.” But Sam doesn’t know the reason the healing process has begun to speed up. Cas can tell Dean hasn’t told his brother of the gift, and he prefers it that way. It’s the first thing between them that Sam isn’t clued into since before Mary’s passing. That alone brings him peace.

It’s a Tuesday in early March when everything shifts. Cas is lying on his back in his bed, nerves nearly taking him. Dean almost always pings by 3 am, and now it’s 45 minutes past and he’s trying to keep calm. 

A sound makes Castiel’s ears prick up, but this time it’s not a sharp ‘ding,’ it’s the soft sound of knuckles rapping on his door. 

Cas, beneath the covers in his most comfortable shirt, one Dean loaned him for the brief period he was human, props himself up on one elbow and quirks his head as the door opens softly, revealing Dean in his doorway. 

He’s in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with holes around the seams, and a pair of black briefs, and the “Send Noods” socks Castiel bought him. 

“Dean?” 

“Hey, Cas” Dean whispers into the darkness as he steps into the room, shutting the door behind him with care. 

Words die on Castiel’s lips and his breath hitches as Dean pads, soft and calm, to his bedside. 

He lifts the corner of Castiel’s blankets ever so slightly and looks down into the glint of Castiel’s blue eyes as if asking permission. Castiel gives him a slight nod and holds his breath as Dean lifts the covers further and slips in under them. He positions himself with his head resting on the left side of Castiel’s chest, ear right above his heart and arm draped across him, hand gently thumbing at the soft fabric on Castiel’s right shoulder. 

Castiel can feel his own heart rate pick up, it’s swift and uncontrollable and it’s filling his vessel up to the brim with hard thumps. He’s beginning to wonder if he’ll ever breathe again when a low thud overcomes his near panic. 

As bright as a bell in a void, he hears it, Dean’s heartbeat, drumming from the deep. This time it’s his charge’s heart that’s strong and steadfast and convinces Castiel’s own to join it in slow synchronization. 

Castiel takes in a breath and slows his own heart rate. He sees Dean’s eyelids flutter shut and he lets his chin rest in the soft of Dean’s hair, his left hand rubbing slow circles into his back. 

“I missed you.” 

Dean doesn’t speak, but Castiel can feel the whisper of a smile move on his chest. 

As he lets himself drift into peace, thoughts blink in his mind at the pace of his heart. 

I fit here. Dean fits here. This is my family. This is who I love. This is home.

____

(Gift based on this!!!)

[internetandnetwork]

6 Ways to Win in Competitive and Expensive PPC Environments

When you work in different vertical markets, there is something you will learn instantly about CPC – it differs fiercely.

For example, the cost per click for a sweatshirt will be completely different in comparison to searches for lawn care services.

Usually, if what you are advertising does not cost much, the average CPC will be low.

It’s truly the work of economics for retailers and services – every sale is worth only so much, and costs that don’t align with that are illogical to spend.

In short, all clothing retailers will max out around the same scopes since their margins are not utterly different from each other. And this is likely to set the price for the specific vertical market.

Nevertheless, this raises problems for cases where the cost per click is higher: each click is important and costs a great deal.

Numerous retailers are happy to pay those prices either because what they are offering is worth that money or they know that they are going to recover it gradually because of the customer lifetime value.

There are so many brands competing in insanely high CPC environments and working in-house to do it currently.

On some days, it’s like an all-or-nothing sort of gambling, but good ROI does not necessarily have to be difficult to catch.

What follows is a list of six ways that will help boost your ROI when your costs begin breaking into a sweat and help you win in aggressive and costly PPC environments.

Establish Proper Tracking

Seems like a piece of cake, isn’t it?

It’s shocking to see brands competing in competitive and costly environments and still not tracking the phone calls triggered by their ongoing PPC campaigns.

Features such as call tracking used to be a little too complex for local businesses back in the day. From coding to additional subscription fees, there was too much hassle involved, and considering the low CPCs at that time, it just didn’t seem worthwhile.

However, things have changed now. Industries such as real estate, legal, or hotels and travel can usually pay above $100 per click, meaning they may lose a great deal of money if they don’t use a platform to track calls.

Today, just a direct signup and a snippet on your site can offer you a fair amount of insights into where those costly leads are coming from.

Doing so can help you focus your marketing budget on areas where it is best spent while freeing up your money from fumbling campaigns.

Pay Attention to Keyword Matching

A lot has changed in the keyword matching world ever since Google made Exact Match… not really exact.

You need to look at everything when it comes to the search queries and the way the search engine matches your keywords to them.

Merely checking your broad match or modified broad match isn’t good enough anymore.

So, if you want to compel the search queries to match to a particular ad group, then you need to put in more effort now than ever.

Like it or not but these days, Google takes heaps of liberties with your keyword matching, like replacing terms with the ones it thinks are similar.

To complicate things furthermore, Google has also stopped displaying all the search terms or queries that the campaigns are matching for to the advertisers.

This means it has become even more crucial now to be as watchful as possible about your data.

Launch With Bold Negative Keywords List

While this used to be restricted for Broad Match only, the current problems pointed out in the section above have made it all the more crucial.

With Google’s Exact Match taking more liberties than before and a lack of transparency into your keyword matching, determining negatives right from the start can help diminish their impacts.

The big thing to keep in mind here is that a single irrelevant click may cost you upwards of $100!

So, to steer clear of such losses, the ideal thing to do is use keyword research reversedly to discover terms that you don’t want to be triggering your campaigns.

You can use the Google Keyword Planner to explore the relevant terms it suggests. Besides this, you may also want to take the help of Google’s suggestions that pop up when you enter a term in the search bar. Go through the list and see if it suggests any long-tail terms that you strictly want to avoid.

For instance, a lot of businesses exclude queries containing “jobs” because the user is seeking employment; they are not a prospect.

Moreover, you can also choose to exclude queries like “customer service number” or “login” that indicate the user is an existing customer just looking for information.

Assess Device Relevance for Conversions

Sometimes people tend to show behavioral differences while using different devices such as laptops, tablets, or smartphones. However, in a high-spending environment, it is not persistent.

Let’s understand this better by taking a look at two examples:

Let’s assume you reside in Connecticut, and suddenly, your air conditioner stops working during the month of July in the scorching heat.

Now, HVAC clicks are notably high-priced, and well, one can easily see why – for starters, when someone searches for their service, they need them NOW, and secondly, the job is worth good money.

So, imagine their situation. How do you think the majority of those people are performing searches?

Well, they are most likely using their phone while trying to make their AC work magically instead of sitting on their laptop and doing in-depth research.

In such cases, mobile users are invaluable for the business, mainly because they will most likely click on the “call now” CTA button from your ad directly and may not inevitably visit websites first simply because they need an immediate solution to their problem!

Now let’s take a look at an entirely different example of a B2B (business-to-business company).

When it comes to cost per click, a lot of B2B verticals are also very pricey, but the reasons are different in their case. They are costly deals that may take anywhere between a couple of months to a few years to close!

Sure they are worth a lot, but of course, the reason is different than our HVAC example.

What do you think – how are most of these users researching for a costly solution?

On their phones? – Probably, no.

In cases like these, desktop users are likely to be considered more valuable as compared to mobile users.

In order to make your bid strategy effective, you must understand where your most conversion actions come from.

Last but not least, be sure to pay heed to all your data not just in Google Ads but also in any other Customer Relationship Management software (CRMs) that you may use to grasp the buying cycle of users and their devices completely.

Use Remarketing to Drive Lower Click Costs

Do you know there is a way to display your ads for highly competitive keywords but probably for less money? Want to know what it is?

Using Remarketing Lists for Search Ads (RLSA) is the answer you’re looking for right now!

Bidding on keywords in an open auction is no less than going on a war against all your competitors.

However, it also means that there could be searches pointing to a potential customer (for example, information searches like “what is…” or “how to…”, so an expensive cost per click for where they’re standing in their customer journey sounds quite illogical.

Using RLSA is an excellent way to remain present as users perform searches without having to holler for them in the open auction.

Similar to display remarketing, in RLSA, too, you can apply a list of customers of your choice and display your ad only to people who especially search for those high competition keywords.

This helps keep your brand consistently on the top-of-mind of your customers but at a relatively lower cost.

You can apply RLSA at the Campaign or Ad Group level. Pick your audiences and “Targeting” as your setting. This will make sure that any keywords in that particular Ad Group display only to the list of audiences you have stated. You can also set different bids for these audiences according to whatever suits your metrics best.

Use Audiences to Bid Based on Relevance

This strategy is quite the same as RLSA discussed in the previous section. The only difference between them is that in this one, rather than using your own customer lists, you use Google’s.

For instance, if you know that your ideal customer tends to be into home renovations or a food lover, you can make sure that only users that fall into this category or belong to this audience group see your ads when they search.

This works just like the RLSA function, but here you get the options to choose “Targeting” or “Observation.”

If you select “Targeting,” only the users who fall into your selected group of audiences will be able to see your ads.

On the other hand, if you select “Observation,” your ads will be displayed to all the users, but you will be able to see the behavior of users who specifically fall into those audiences.

Based on your results, you can also make bid adjustments.

Conclusion

The bid environments will continue to remain the same highly competitive as it is now or maybe even increase, but there’s no going back. With every passing day, we are only seeing the CPCs increase in developing industries as they evolve.

While PPC professionals have criticized Google Ads a lot for deleting some of the controls that they used to enjoy earlier, there is still a little maneuvering that they can do to mitigate the losses in such competitive environments where there is a lot on stake. This is an excellent way to get ahead of your competitors too.

Using the data you have in the right way can help you improve your targeting, reduce your expenses, and help your campaigns perform better while yielding great results.

Moreover, you can combat the lack of transparency to a great extent by utilizing research tools available in Google’s very own inventory.

Typically, getting better results is an outcome of the mixed efforts that you put into launching and running a campaign. Implement these six ways to increase your return on investment (ROI), cut your costs, and win in this competitive PPC environment successfully.

Hariom Balhara is an inventive person who has been doing intensive research in particular topics and writing blogs and articles for Tireless IT Services. Tireless IT Services is a digital marketing, SEO, SMO, PPC, and web development company that comes with massive experiences.  We specialize in digital marketing, web designing and development, graphic design, and a lot more.

SOURCE : 6 Ways to Win in Competitive and Expensive PPC Environments

[kumawrites]

Love Tutorial (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Shinso x fem!Reader

A/N: hi lovelies i’m back with, you guessed it, more shinso!!! this fic is 100% self indulgent bc i absolutely love makeup lol. i’m trying out a bunch of different things in terms of formatting so like tell me if this section looks ugly LMAO. anyways pls enjoy !!

words: 3.8k

summary: You’re a popular Beauty Guru™ and Shinso is primarily a commentary channel. He follows one of your tutorials, only to be surprised by you talking about how fine he is.

—

“That will be all for this video, if you enjoyed it please show some love by clicking on the like button, and if you like me, subscribe! Like always, feel free to tag me if you recreate this look, I love seeing all of your posts! I’ll see you Earthlings later, bye!” With both hands waving and a bright smile, you successfully finished filming your outro that you have possibly said three hundred times.

Before you could even get a word out, Mina was screaming into the phone. “Y/N? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS. I’M FREAKING OUT FOR YOU! AHHHH!” You winced, not expecting her to be that loud. Sure, you knew quite well that she could get loud, but that’s because she gets excited. So to be this noisy must mean something big is happening.

“Why, hello to you too Mina. How’s my day going? Good! Thank you for asking. I would ask how yours is going but from the sound of it, I’ll assume pretty good.” You snickered into the phone.

“Well, my dear Y/N, it’s about to be even better than just good!” Mina’s volume was significantly lower, but you could still tell just how excited she was.

“Oh really? What’s going to make my day better than? Wait let me guess, NikkiTutorials resigned and gave up her spot as the most iconic beauty guru and gave it to me?” You snorted. If only.

“No! It’s even better!” The pitch of Mina’s voice kept raising higher and higher.

“Okay, okay, spit it out Mina. You’re really making me curious and I don’t know if I should be worried or not.” You grabbed your glass of water from you table and took a sip. Gross, warm. But it was too much work to get a new glass so you began downing this one.

“SHINSO HITOSHI DID A REACTION VIDEO TO ONE OF YOUR TUTORIALS!” You choked on your water and half of it went down the wrong way. You began coughing and Mina, the little bitch, didn’t say anything while you were dying. You could imagine her just sitting there, waiting for you to respond after your coughing fit.

After getting it all out, you swallowed, eyes still wide. “Mina, you’re not joking right now, are you? Because if you are, I know where you live, and I won’t hesitate, bitch.”

“I’m not! I’m really not! Check his channel, he, like, just uploaded it!”

You grabbed your laptop and opened Google Chrome. “Call me back on FaceTime, rat.” You told Mina before hanging up on her. You typed YouTube into the search bar while Mina called you back. When you answered, you could see that she was also in her filming room.

Mina, like you, is a beauty YouTuber that is well known for her flawless skin, even though she has the simplest skincare routine you have ever seen. Her chipper personality also drew in a ton of fans towards her channel. The two of you had met through YouTube and were soon to find out that you lived in the same city. Your friendship really bloomed then, and you basically live at each other’s houses.

You got onto YouTube, and lo and behold, there it was. Obviously you were subscribed to Shinso’s channel, so the first video of pop up was his. It was titled “i learn how to become beautiful” and his thumbnail was him with his signature “kill me now” face on with some patchy, hot pink, glitter eyeshadow all over his eyelids. But also, you were there! You were in his thumbnail which could only mean one thing: this was real.

“HOLY SHIT MINA, I’M IN HIS THUMBNAIL.”

“I KNOW! NOW WATCH THE VIDEO! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET THOUGH SO TURN THE VOLUME UP.” She screeched and you did.

You clicked on the video and there he was, Shinso Hitoshi, looking as good as ever. His tired eyes that screamed “I could die at any given moment” and his messy hair that somehow defied physics. It has to be downright illegal to look that hot. Today he was sporting one of his merch items, a hoodie that had simple print on the front of it saying: I’m Shinso Over This. Of course you owned that very sweatshirt. You would never miss out on a chance to buy his merch.

“Hi. I’m back, unfortunately.” His tone was as dry as it always was. “I was harassed into doing this, go bully Denki on Twitter because this is all his fault. But today I’m going to be making myself beautiful with the help of Y/N. Okay, she’s not actually helping me, but I’m going to watch one of her tutorials.” Your heart pounded as he mentioned you. One of creators that you loved the most is going to follow one of your tutorials. You could die happy now.

“HE SAID YOUR NAME!” Mina shrieked from your phone and you nodded eagerly as you kept your eyes glued to the computer.

“I’m going to choose this one, “EASY Valentines Day Makeup Tutorial + Q&A!” because it says easy.” You watched as your face from the most recent Valentine’s Day popped up. In the intro, you had already filmed the tutorial part and were wearing the full face. It was a fairly easy look, to you at least.

You had done a simple glitter cut-crease, primarily using warm toned reds and pinks with some winged liner and false lashes for your eyes. Your face had some sharper contour and heavy blush that trailed from one cheek to another, using your nose like a bridge. And of course, you had used a super glittery highlighter that reflected with all of your studio lights. You had also used a maroon liquid lip.

“Greetings, Earthlings! It’s me, Y/N, and I’m here to do another tutorial! Today we’re going a Valentines Day themed full face, and I’m also going to be answering some love related questions you asked me on Twitter since it is Valentines Day after all. If you’d like to recreate this look, as always I listed all the products I’m going to use down in the description!” You pointed your fingers downwards. “Without further ado, let’s get started!”

Shinso paused your video and held up a Sephora bag. “I spent so much money on this stuff, and I’m never going to use it again.” He lazily drawled. The fact that he made eye bags hot was insanity. You wanted to cry for him because some of the products you used were unnecessarily expensive.

Shinso unpaused your video and you had begun priming your face. He dug around in the Sephora bag before pulling out the primer you were using. As he squirted some on his fingertips, he made an especially disgusted look as he felt the consistency of it. He watched as you spread it all over your face, and copied you.

“She didn’t lie when they said easy.” He mused. Mina and you both cackled through your phone. Primer was possibly the easiest step ever because it didn’t affect the way you looked whatsoever. “Uhh, okay now she’s putting on, uhhh, foundation?” He grabbed a bottle of foundation out of the bag along with a Beauty Blender. “The people at Sephora said this was my skin colour, so I’ll believe them.” Shinso shrugged and set the bottle down to get the Beauty Blender out of the box.

You began blending the foundation into your skin and Shinso did the same. “Alright! First question from Andrea! ‘Are you dating anyone right now?’ wow Andrea, you sure did get straight to the point. Unfortunately no, I’m not in a relationship right now.” You had finished your foundation and had moved on to concealing your under eyes.

Shinso hummed as he watched as you put a relatively small amount of concealer under your eyes and looked into the camera, somehow making his eye-bags even more prominent. “Look, I don’t know much about makeup, but I know I’m going to need more concealer than that. Also I’m surprised that they’re not dating anyone. She’s too good looking to be single.” So he unscrewed the concealer tube, and absolutely went to town. He put on so much concealer that you were almost concerned.

“Mina did you hear that?” You asked in a breathless tone.

“Sure did.”

You were already in awe that the great Shinso Hitoshi was even watching your video, but the fact that he called you good looking? Your heart was practically leaping out of your chest as you watched with wide eyes. Your biggest YouTube crush had called you attractive. What a good day.

In your tutorial, you had finishing blending the concealer in and was moving onto baking your under eyes. You dipped your Beauty Blender into the loose powder and stamped it down underneath your eyes. “Now I’m going to let that bake, so I’m going to go ahead and do my eyeshadow right now!” Shinso gave a confused look and paused the video. He applied the powder somehow everywhere but under his eyes. It was honestly impressive how bad he was at this.

“I’m baking? What am I baking?” He furrowed his eyebrows, clearly very confused.

“For my eye look, I’m going to start with this light pink shade called, ‘Love’. How fitting. I’m going to swipe that into my crease and I’ll follow that up with this more hot pink that will go all over my lid. Then, I’m going to deepen my crease with this almost maroon shade and then I’ll cut my crease using the concealer we used earlier and this flat brush.” Shinso looked like you had just grown two heads in front of him. He had no idea what you were doing to your face.

You watched as he messily some hot pink shade onto his lid, rapidly blinking the whole time, not used to someone so close to his eye. He was not going to like tight-lining. He eventually attempted to cut the crease and looked absolutely dead when it was completely too much of his lid.

“I want to die.” He muttered while looking at the camera. His eyes had somehow lost even more life than what he began with, which was, not much.

“Here’s another question that’s coming from Kelsey! She asks: ‘Who do you think the hottest YouTuber is? I personally really like Bakugo Katsuki!’ Oh I’d definitely have to say Shinso Hitoshi! That man is illegally fine.” What did you just say? Your eyes went wide as you listened to yourself. You had completely forgotten what questions you answered in this video, and now Shinso Hitoshi knows that you think he’s hot. But you didn’t stop there.

“One hundred percent, anyone could throw down with me on this one. Shinso Hitoshi is the hottest YouTuber out there. He could curb stomp me, kill my family, and rob me of all of my belongings and I’d still say thank you.” Why did you ever say that. Mina was absolutely losing it on her side, unbelieving that those words had even made it past editing on your part. Why would you even keep that in the video. You wanted to die.

Shinso on the other hand looked very amused, letting out a chuckle of his own. “Didn’t know I was so popular. I’m honestly kind of flattered. But I wouldn’t curb stomp her. Can’t mess up that pretty face.” This was the end of your career. You’re never going back online ever again.

The you doing the tutorial had just begun applying loose glitter onto your lid. “So after applying this glitter base, I’m going to pat this glitter in. If you drag it, it’ll get absolutely everywhere since this glitter is super chunky. So, just lightly pat it in like this.” Shinso did as you told and still managed to have glitter cascading down, covering his black hoodie.

You had moved onto eyeliner and he looked like he was actually going to die, right then and there. He watched you tight-line your eyes and didn’t even attempt it. After creating a wing that looked like it could fly off of his face any moment, Shinso attempted to put a pair of false lashes on. Somehow, they were stuck to his eyelid, rather than where his lashes were. He followed you as you brushed the bake off. You were then moving onto contour, where he managed to make it look like he had rolled in dirt. Apparently, he had no idea where to put contour on his face so he ended up putting it far too high.

The step you were on now involved putting copious amounts of blush on when you answered your next question. “Alright and this one is from Jennie! ‘If you could date anyone, who would it be?’ I guess I hinted at this earlier, but Shinso Hitoshi all the way. I just want to like, hold his hand. I know, scandalous. But really, my thirst for that man is actually unquenchable.” You said with a straight face as you took a sip of water and then winked to the camera.

“Hey Mina, when I die in the next few minutes, can you make sure to clear my search history. Actually, just wipe my whole computer clean.” You sighed as you buried your face into your hands. This was awful. Out of all the tutorials you had on your channel, Shinso Hitoshi just had to pick the one where you basically confess your undying love for him. Mina simply laughed, promising absolutely nothing. Traitor.

On the other hand, Shinso was grinning. It was one of those grins. One that you knew would never let you live this down, and he doesn’t even know you personally. “Seems that I’ve got a fan. I’d love to hold hands, Y/N, you just have to let me know.” His voice drawled, deep and raspy. It would be hotter if his face didn’t look like someone shook up a bag of crushed makeup and threw the contents at him. To be honest, he really just looked like a big train wreck. But, it was still hot, nonetheless.

He did eventually finish the look, setting it all using far too much setting spray. But instead of holding his usual stoic, tired look, he looked like he was planning something. The corners of Shinso’s mouth were still turned up in a sly smirk, and you had a feeling that something was going to happen. You might as well die before you find out to save yourself the embarrassment.

“Well, I can’t say I enjoyed putting on the makeup, but I did enjoy watching Y/N talk about me. Y/N, if you’re watching me, send me a message and we can collab. Or maybe hold hands.” His mouth opened up and his killing grin hit you. This is it. This is where you die. You were internally screaming at the top of your lungs. God, you hated how hot he was even though he looked like Boo Boo The Fool.

“DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT HE SAID?” Mina screamed out loud for you. Oh god, you were absolutely mortified.

“Well, that’ll do it for this one, if you liked watching me ruin my face, I have more awful videos for you to watch. And even if you didn’t, it’s too late because you’ve already given me ad revenue. If I don’t post my next video soon, safely assume that I’ve died. I might see you next time, bye.” Shinso said his usual outro and you slumped back onto your chair. You looked at Mina on your phone who was grinning ear to ear. Oh no.

“Message him.”

“Absolutely not I would rather die, right here, right now than talk to Shinso Hitoshi about how I confessed my undying thirst for him. So, that means I’m going to die. I want a granite headstone.” You groaned as you stared up at the ceiling.

“You don’t even have to say anything about that though! Anyways, you probably should talk to him. You could just say that you enjoyed his video and thank him for what basically was, a free shoutout. I think it’d be wrong if you didn’t message him at all.” Mina suggested, and well, she wasn’t wrong. It’d be rude to just ignore the fact that Shinso has put hard work and money into making this video. The least you could do was say a simple thank you.

You groaned as you sat up, grabbing your phone from where it was leaned against. “God, I hate when you’re right. I’ll message him though. I’m going to go ahead and hang up then because I still have another video I want to shoot.”

“Yes of course! But make sure to send me screenshots, I NEED to know how this goes down! I’ll talk to you later!” And with that, the FaceTime call was ended. Now you had to will yourself into messaging Shinso and making it seem normal. You would just have to completely ignore all of the moments you called him hot, and hope that he doesn’t bring them up too.

You opened up Instagram and searched up his handle. You were really going to do this. It was now or never, and if you backed out and never messaged him, Mina would never let you live it down and would probably end up messaging him herself. So to avoid embarrassment that would be even worse than what has already been done, you had to message him.

“Hi! I saw your latest video and I wanted to say thank you so much for featuring my video! It really means a lot. Also, I hope you bought an oil based makeup remover, because that stuff is hard to get off. Especially the glitter!” That was appropriate and calm, wasn’t it? You hit send and hoped that he would stay on topic and not mention the fact that you completely exposed yourself.

You sat down your phone and groaned. What if he thought that you were really creepy and was just leading you on to eventually public ally humiliate and ruin you, ending your career as you know it? That was probably a bit extreme, and rationally you knew he would never do such a thing, but you were paranoid.

As you were drowning in your sorrows, a notification popped up on your phone. It was him. He replied so fast that you were taken aback.

“hey thanks. i’m glad you’re not mad that i used your video without permission lol. and no, i didn’t buy one bc no one told me to. but i did get the makeup off with a lot of scrubbing. i was serious about wanting to collab. would you want to do that?” Your face was burning at this point. Collabing with Shinso sounding like an actual dream.

“Absolutely! I would love to! And ouch, is your skin okay? Too much exfoliating can really irritate the skin!”

“yes, i’m okay. i didn’t scrub too much skin off. and great. you live in LA right?? i do too. we should work out a date sometime to talk. we could even hold hands if you wanted to lol.” Oh god, he went a did it. You wanted to scream.

“Ahaha, yes let’s do that! And sorry about all of the rambling about uhh, you. It must’ve felt weird.” Should your casket be wood? A polished, dark oak wood sounded nice. You would look lovely in that casket after you died of sheer embarrassment. But would it look fine alongside a granite headstone? Maybe it should be marble.

“not at all. i’m very flattered. but letting you know, don’t expect me to curb stomp you. i don’t think i’m strong enough to do that. but we can definitely go on a date, and maybe your thirst will go away.” This time, you actually did scream, straight into your pillow. This is the end of you.

You screenshotted the conversation so far and sent it to Mina. You did promise to keep her updated.

She responded, not even a minute later, with far too many emojis. The winky face, the side-looking eyes, and of course, the cowboy. Sometimes, just sometimes, you really hated Mina. But not really.

“WTF DO I RESPOND TO THAT HE LITERALLY JUST INSINUATED THAT HE'S GOING TO DO,,,, STUFF.” You hurriedly typed to Mina. You could imagine her right now, cackling as you watched you panic.

“Just call him hot and catch him off guard LOL. Or say like ur thirst can never be quenched.” You were about to do it. There wasn’t anything else that you could think to say to him that was normal sounding, so maybe this would work? Should your flowers be lilies? Or perhaps daisies would work. Something nice to remember you by. You don’t want your death to be too sad.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think my thirst can go away. It’s pretty intense.” You typed something real ballsy out, as you went to hit ‘select all’ to delete it, somehow, you had sent it to him instead. Amazing! You were going to have a stroke!

“oh? well, we’ll have to see about that, huh? anyways, here’s my number: xxx-xxx-xxxx. we can talk about our date later. i have to film another video to make sure people know i’m not dead. talk to you later, doll.”

Ah, the nail in the coffin. You really were dead now. You didn’t even get to plan what you were going to write on your gravestone.

You copied his number and put it into your contacts. Even though you were incredibly embarrassed about all of this, you were definitely going to use that later. Not only to plan a collaboration.

—

my amazing girlfriend does my makeup correctly (ft. Y/N)

[tessatechaitea]

Inferior 5 #1

Hopefully this will be like when Giffen made the Legion of Super-heroes super fucking dark.

How many dicks can you find, kids?!

"How many dicks can you find, kids" is the least quotable line I've ever written. The Kamandi just out of surgery cosplayer winds up getting exploded by the kid in the canvas sack face mask. You know the kid is bad news because he can make people explode with his mind. Although if you ran into him in the desert, you wouldn't know that immediately so I should have stated the other ways you can tell he's bad news so as to maybe avoid exploding. First off, he's a kid out in the desert alone. Kids by themselves are creepy. Plus he's wearing a canvas bag on his head. Canvas is always a warning sign that you might be dealing with cannibal hillbillies, especially when it's covering an almost certainly mutilated face. Also, the kid's canvas bag mask has a big red X on it. Anybody who's been through the American educational system has a strong aversion to red X's. Also spooky: the kid recites nursery rhymes. When you hear one of those, you know you're either about to die or laugh hysterically because did you hear how the Diceman said "cock" instead of "clock"?! How did we never stop laughing in the Eighties?! Oh, one more clue that not all is right with this kid: he lives in Dangerfield, Arizona. That's almost as big a red flag as some sweaty, long-haired kid in overalls from Back Swamp, North Carolina. The story picks up with some nerdy kid (probably Merrymaker since he's the big virgin of the group) whining about how his dad died in The Invasion of Metropolis (what was that? Is that a reference to the beginning of The New 52 when Darkseid attacked Earth? Or is this a reference to the Invasion by the Dominators which was compiled in three way-too-long comics?). After the Invasion, he and his mom moved to Dangerfield, Arizona. Because who wouldn't feel safer in a place with a name that causes constant anxiety over a place where the greatest hero in the world lives?

According to the date on this calendar, the Invasion mentioned was the Dominator one which created the Meta-Gene explanation of superpowers which we recently learned was a computer jargon shortening of the term "metal-gene."

The calendar isn't the only proof that this invasion was by Dominators and not Parademons! By turning the page instead of trying to ferret out what's going on by examining every panel carefully and spending an inordinate amount of my short lifespan trying to guess what's about to happen instead of just fucking turning the Goddamned page and letting the writers explain it to me, I discover the Dominators are leading an invasion of Earth Number This Is Fucked Up. At least I think it's Earth Number This Is Fucked Up because the invasion seems to have worked. Superman is dead and most of the other heroes have been placed in a space gulag. Plus that kid in the canvas bag marking X's on houses seems to play an important role in the Dominator's invasion force.

Unless this is all just a comic book on Earth Number Main Earth?

Maybe I should turn some more pages! But first, I just need to Google "Lisa Loeb's boobs." The kid complaining about the Invasion comic book is named Lisa (no relation to Lisa Loeb's boobs) and she points out to the suspiciously bloody comic book seller with a light sensitivity named Vlad that the Invasion really happened. So I guess DC is simply profiting on everybody's pain and misery. I bet just to make the series even more painful and miserable, DC hired Scott Lobdell to write it. Justin, the whiny kid from Metropolis, is being observed by some outside observers (as opposed to inside observers which would be, I guess, parasites?). He heads downtown where he's about to make contact with Dumb Bunny and Awkwardman! Except he doesn't. Man, I should probably read more than two panels at a time before writing anything. It would save everybody a lot of wasted effort, me with writing sloppy synopses of comics and the three people reading this having to fucking read this. But then I don't have any responsibility to anybody to make these "reviews" shorter. It's not my fault if somebody wanted to Google "Lisa Loeb's boobs" but found they didn't have enough time because they were reading this shit. That's their own fault for not prioritizing their desires! Googling "Lisa Loeb's boobs" was so important to me that I did it in the middle of this review! Come on, people. It's the modern age! You can view Lisa Loeb's boobs any time you want (through clothing, that is. I'm not advocating for searching for nude pics of Lisa Loeb's boobs which probably don't exist anyway and if you think they do, it was probably just Lisa Loeb's head photoshopped onto a naked torso). Lisa has been uncovering clues to the weirdness of Dangerfield, Arizona because she dresses like Velma. Unless she dresses like Velma because she searches for clues the way her hero, Velma, searches for clues. I don't know enough about Lisa's backstory to say. It's possible Lisa isn't even aware of Velma and it's just Giffen spending some easy pop culture capital so readers associate Lisa with Velma and understand her more simply by looking at her image.

Here are a bunch of the clues she's uncovered that I didn't want to try to parse through my digressions and fascination with Lisa Loeb.

Billy Shanker, the kid with the canvas bag who says things like, "Oh! The three little kittens! They fucked their mittens! Oh! Look at the way I hold my cigarette! Boom!", murders Justin's mom and takes her corpse to some guy in a hazmat suit that might be a Dominator but also might be, seeing as how Giffen is writing this, Ambush Bug. Man I hope it's Ambush Bug! Justin returns home to find his mother gone and the interior (five?) of his house covered in red X's. Oh no. That's a really bad sign! Not one black check mark in the bunch! Some people might think Keith Giffen isn't the best artist in town because he's a writer and his art isn't for everybody. Plus he never puts any thought into his panel layout and just goes the same size boxes every time (sometimes in the six variety, sometimes in the nine). I happen to love his art so I'm not one of those people. But in keeping with a guy whose art isn't what people would call great (although those people usually love mainstream great garbage art like John Romita Jr or David Finch or Tony S. Daniel), Jeff Lemire draws the back-up story. I don't think that was an insult at Lemire's expense. If it was, I'm sorry because I was really just trying to insult John Romita, Jr and David Finch and Tony S. Daniel. The back-up story features Peacemaker whom I only remember by look. According to the Who's Who, Peacemaker is a guy who loved peace so much that he realized sometimes he'd have to use extreme violence to ensure it. Also he suffered a head injury during Crisis on Infinite Earths which seems like a weird thing to mention in the Who's Who. "Trillions of lives were extinguished during the multiversal extermination event! Billions and billions of worlds destroyed! People's pasts erased in the blink of an eye! Supergirl and Flash and some other people nobody remembers killed! And Peacemaker suffered some head trauma." I suppose it's important to the character. Maybe it was meant to make him more extreme so he'd be relevant in the post-Crisis era. Peacemaker is on a mission for Amanda Waller to find some super weapon that the Russians want. His search leads him to a bunker with a dead Dominator, a mysterious capsule, and a map leading him to Dangerfield, Arizona! Inferior 5 #1 Rating: B+. I'm a sucker for Giffen stories and Giffen art. And Giffen stories backed up by Lemire's writing are probably even better. This one was pretty good so consider it evidence that my previous statement is almost certainly correct. One thing I like about Giffen is that he doesn't mind writing things that can be confusing on their first (or even second!) read through. He tells the story, makes the jokes, slowly unveils the plot, and to hell with anybody who doesn't want to invest a little time in making it all out. Seems to me, a lot of modern comic book readers could learn to love ambiguity. But they're all so desperate for the interior monologue of the main characters so they know exactly what to think after reading something. They're so coddled that they think subtlety is when a story explicitly shows them what's happening without the main character also explaining it in a monologue as they experience it. They wouldn't recognize subtlety if it...well, I mean, it's subtlety. It should be hard to recognize so I don't know how to finish that statement. Now go read Inferior 5 and hate me for recommending it when you're finished.

[mrs-emma-swan-jones]

Hi! Wanna say that I love your custom pops and wanted to ask how do you find the right pops and do you get them used and cheap? I really want to try it out but there's just so many to pick from.

Thank you so much, I’m glad to give you some tips! This is how I go about finding Pops (sorry it got a little long lol):

When you start looking, there are two basic questions you’re looking to answer:

What do I want?

What’s out there for me to use?

Obviously you’re going into this with some sort of idea of who you want to make, so that’s your starting point. Don’t even worry about Pops you’re going to use yet, just focus on gathering some source material for your inspiration first. This can be pictures of the character if they’re from a movie or show or fanart/character descriptions if they’re from a book. I mostly make book characters, so I’m going to use the Aeduan I made from the Witchlands series as an example.

Thankfully, Aeduan is a popular character in these books AND a book with him on the cover just came out this year, so I had a decent amount of art to work with as my inspiration. Basically, he’s an assassin who wears a white cloak, has lighter skin, and is from a fantasy series which most likely means medieval style clothing. In addition to the book cover, I used this fanart for my inspiration:

So now I know that I’m looking for a Pop head that has a hood and light skin (I prefer not to paint the skin of my Pops because it simply looks better when I don’t, so I try to match the skin tone if possible) and a body that fits the style of clothing seen in the art with the most important feature being a cloak. Now you start searching for your pops, and the best way to do this is through a good old fashioned google search.

Literally start by googling exactly what you’re looking for. For instance, when looking for the head I ended up using, I googled “funko pop hood” and got back a bunch of pops wearing hoods. None of them really struck my fancy, so then I tried “funko pop cloak” and so on and so forth. I actually didn’t find anything I liked in my initial google searches, but then I remembered that Funko had made Pops for the Assassin’s Creed games, which I found closely resembled Aeduan. I ended up purchasing Arno (pictured below) from Ebay in a lot of 3 AC Pops for $12 (a total steal) because I found that I might be able to use the other two for customs in the future. 

For Aeduan’s body, I ended up just kinda getting lucky. Target sells Funkos, and they had a few Lord of the Rings Pops that I happened to stumble upon while looking for a different Pop, and I determined that Boromir’s body was perfect for what I wanted to do with Aeduan.

I’ve found that going out to retailers that sell Funkos and just looking around has actually proven to be a very fruitful way of finding Pops for customs. The key is being able to look past the initial pop and seeing the potential for what you could turn it into. Don’t get hung up on colors because all that can be changed when you go to paint (unless you’re me, in which case skin color is something I’m a stickler about). Also, if there are tiny details you don’t like, for instance, the horn Boromir is holding is something I didn’t like, then those can be removed quite easily via cutting and sanding. Now let’s get into the even more frustrating part of finding the right Pops….

So you’ve done you’re research, you know what Pops you want, now you just need to know where the hell you can find them. Easier said than done. Here are some things I recommend you keep in mind while you’re searching for Pops, because knowing all this as you go will save you some time:

First of all, is the Pop vaulted? This means they are no longer manufacturing this pop, so the only way you’ll be able to find it is through sites like Ebay where people are selling them. If you find a Pop you like and learn that it’s vaulted, that’s not a good sign unless you’re willing to spend an outrageous amount of money for a Pop you’re going to take apart and paint. For example, I’ve been searching all over creation for a body for an ACOTAR Morrigan Pop I want to make. A body I found that I like is that of Daenerys from Game of Thrones in her white wedding dress. The price for one of these Pops ranges from $20-$40, which is not a price I’m willing to pay. The same goes for special edition Pops. Basically, try not to set your sights on the crazy expensive ones. Cheaper is obviously going to be better.

Ideally, you’re going to want to be looking at Pops that are more recent, because they’ll be more reasonably priced and easier to find. A good way of staying up to date on what Pops are being made and are readily available is by following Funko on social media (Instagram is best) and downloading the Funko app. The app is especially helpful because it shows you trending values for most of their Pops, and allows you to create a wishlist of Pops you want and a collection of those you have. It’s awesome.

In terms of where to get your Pops, Ebay is always a good first stop. See what’s available and how cheap you can get them. Sometimes people will sell lots of them for a decent price. I don’t like to spend more than $10 on a single Pop that I’m going to use for customs, but I’ll go up to $15 depending on how much I like them. Getting them used and loose (aka out of the box) is a good way to get them cheap. Of course, people on Ebay have a tendency to overestimate the worth of their Pops, in which case there’s no harm in buying them new from local retailers. These are the places I go to find them and how much they sell them for:

Walmart ($8.99)

Target ($8.99)

Barnes & Noble ($9.99 although they recently did a 3 for $20 which was awesome so be on the look out for deals like that)

Books-A-Million ($10.99)

GameStop ($5.99-$11.99 depending on stock)

You can also check out Hot Topic or FYE, but they start to get a bit pricier there.

This has already gotten to be so long, but I’ll leave you with a few more things to consider:

Try to find Pops where you can use both the head and the body for customs. For example, the head of the Azriel I made had a body that I’m planning to use for an upcoming custom. Same with the body from the Arno I used for Aeduan’s head. This will ensure that you get your money’s worth and don’t end up with an entire box full of spare Pop parts you’ll have no idea what to do with.

If you’re having a hard time finding Pops to use for your customs, do a google search to see if anyone else has ever made a Pop of the character you’re trying to make. Art inspires art, and seeing what other people have done can really help. Part of why I’ve struggled so much with Mor is because I’ve only managed to find one custom of her.

Really keep up with the new Pops that Funko is going to be putting out. You may have to wait a bit longer to get the parts, but you could end up with much better results. Going back to Mor again, I think Fleur’s Yule Ball dress from Harry Potter would actually make a great body for her, however those Pops won’t be released until September, so I have to wait.

And I think that just about covers it!!  Let me know if you have any more questions, and if you make any Pops tag me because I’d love to see them!!

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Stalkers and Masks

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

These are two moments that I really wanted to address, but I felt both were too short for their own story. So I took one and made it a framing device for the other. One’s about Stacy and what she’s going through, and the other is about Marvin and one of his problems. Ehhh, probably not my best work but I’ve done these two plot points all the justice I can.

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids​ @awkward-bullshit​ @watermelonsinmyattic​ @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske​ @odysseus-is-best-boi​ @acuriousquail @beerecordings

Stacy liked to think that her computer was secure. She kept up-to-date on her antivirus software, didn’t give trust anything that asked for her security information, and kept her passwords on a sheet of paper in her nightstand drawer instead of anywhere digitally that could be hacked. However, she quickly learned that all these precautions were for naught when it came to the living glitch who decided he wanted to check on her every ten hours or so. She’d be browsing the Internet and suddenly the webpage would freak out. That didn’t mean she was being hacked (actually, technically she was) it just meant Anti decided to pop in.

Honestly, she was starting to warm up to him. Maybe that was because he hadn’t showed up in person for the last week so she didn’t have to deal with his personality. Occasionally she’d get an email or text from a blocked user, asking her how life was, if she was safe. And, well, life was better. She’d gotten a new job at a department store with better pay. The hours were good too, now she had time to spend with her kids and also get enough sleep. Things in the city seemed to have calmed down, in that there was less death and disappearance on the news.

But...something was off. There were times when she was out and about, driving the kids to places or running errands on her own, when she felt like someone was watching her. When she looked around, she usually didn’t see anyone. But there were times when she thought she saw...him. To the point where it was starting to freak her out.

One night, after putting the kids to bed, she sat down at her computer and typed a simple phrase into Google: “how to tell if someone is stalking me.” Immediately, the page froze. She hit enter several times, trying to search, but a strange, rapid staticky beeping just came out from her speakers. And it was that moment when she realized it wasn’t just something wrong with her Internet.

A fizzing of pixels later, Anti was sitting on her desk, legs dangling off the side. “What are you, seven?” she asked before her brain could catch up with her mouth.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Anti said. “So what’s up with that search?”

“Are you spying on me whenever I use Google?”

“No, I just installed a program to let me know when certain words were searched. Such as ‘stalk’ or ‘stalking.’” His eye narrowed. “So? What’s the deal? Is it him?”

“I’m...not sure,” Stacy said slowly. “Sometimes I think I see him, other times I just get a...a vague sort of sense that...someone’s watching me. It’s probably nothing, I’m probably just being stupid, but...better safe than sorry, y’know?”

“Definitely, especially considering they could be magically tracking you.”

Stacy gaped at him and his nonchalant statement. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, you were there that night at the diner. You saw that magic was real. Didn’t you think something like that was possible?”

“No, I didn’t.” Stacy leaned back in her swivel chair. “I guess it never occurred to me that that was a-a possibility. I didn’t know the rules for this sort of thing. Sorry, I should have thought—I should have known.”

Anti stared at her, then glitched off the desk and into a standing position. “No, you really shouldn’t have, because nobody told you. It’s not your fault, so don’t assume it is. I could possibly give you a brief overview, let you know what you’re in danger of.”

“Oh! Th-thank you!” Stacy hadn’t realized she was apologizing for things that weren’t her fault. Force of habit, she assumed. She looked at the computer screen, where her question still lingered, unsearched, in the search bar. “Do you think...I-I mean, I know Chase doesn’t have any magic, unless he does and I didn’t know, so...are they teaming up?”

Anti considered this. “Probably. Your ex and the magician aren’t on the best terms, but they’re civil. You’d be in more danger of having the doctor or the vigilante stalking you for him, those guys are closer.”

For some reason, that simple statement made dread pool in her stomach. “H-how many of them are there again?”

“Five.”

“And...and they could all help Ch—help him follow me?”

“Mmm, probably.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” Stacy sat on her hands to keep them from shaking. She’d never done anything in her life to warrant so many enemies. And, if she remembered correctly, these guys were responsible for most of the current chaos and terror in the city. She worked hard to take deep, controlled breaths. “Do you...do you have any, uh, um, any info on these guys I could see? You’re all computery, do you have files on them or something?”

“I do. But you don’t want the full files, you’ll lose sleep. I can maybe give you some edited versions...” Anti’s head tilted to one side. He stared intently at her computer screen. She watched as her browser closed and her file explorer opened. By itself, the computer navigated to the downloads folder, then five new folders appeared, each one labeled with a name, followed by (edit).

“Huh...that’s handy.” Stacy scooted her chair closer to the desk, grabbing the mouse. She stared at the folder with his name on it for a while, but she couldn’t bring herself to click on it. Instead, she clicked on the next one down, opening up the folder to reveal various .txt files.

“There used to be photos and videos in here,” Anti said, peering over her shoulder.

“Why’d you remove them?”

“How squeamish are you?”

“I mean...my daughter broke her arm once. It was all bent but I could look at it.”

“I probably made a good call then.” Anti pointed at one of the files, and it opened up. “Brief overview: guy’s a doctor. Not really, ‘cause he got booted from medical school for maltreatment. Didn’t stop him from faking graduation, getting a job at a hospital, and then stealing the patients who wouldn’t be missed.”

“This sounds like the backstory of a horror movie villain,” Stacy laughed nervously.

Anti didn’t laugh. “I’m sure the patients thought they were stuck in a horror movie.” He gave Stacy a dead-eye stare until her smile faded. Then he turned back to the screen. “Police in his home country found out. He ran, ending up here. Started a nice little black-market clinic and kept up his hobby.”

“You know I think I’ll read this one later, when it’s lighter outside.” Stacy hurried to click out of the folder. She opened up the next one instead. This one had videos as well as text files. “...should I be worried about these?” she asked, circling one of the videos with the mouse.

“Nothing explicit, just violence like you’d see in a movie. Criminals get the shit beat out of them. The works.”

“Wait...this is for that vigilante, isn’t it? The one on the news?” Stacy looked at the folder name. “That’s his real—”

“Yep. So if you see a guy who looks like this—” He opened one of the videos, fast forwarding until he got to a good image of the vigilante’s face. “—and he introduces himself to you as that, you better run. Actually, don’t, he’s probably faster than you. Distract him until you can sneak away.”

“He can’t be that bad, can he?” Stacy asked, skeptical. “I mean...getting rid of the criminals in the city? It’s like a real-life superhero.”

“Well, superheroes don’t beat confessions out of mob members and then murder them. He’s probably the safest to have a conversation with, though. Assuming you haven’t done anything illegal.”

“O-kay...then...” Stacy was starting to realize just how deep this trouble she was in really was. She could feel the beginnings of panic edging in on her, but she pushed it away. She’d let herself freak out later. “Wh-what about that magician guy? I think you called him Marvin in the diner? Can he really...magically track me?”

“Probably.” Anti closed the vigilante’s folder and opened up the magician’s. There were a lot of images in this one, what looked like pictures of pages from books. “I’ve been trying to keep track of the spells he knows, but it can be difficult. There’s a good chance he knows a tracking spell, but he probably wouldn’t use it unless someone, like your ex, asked him to.”

“...do I want to know why?”

“Eh, he doesn’t really care for spells like that. If they can’t produce effects he can see, he won’t use them unless necessary. He’s a flashy bitch like that. Has a style and sticks to it. Like that cape, which he only takes off maybe one day per week, and that mask, which I actually haven’t seen him take off yet.”

“Really? Never? Not even to sleep or take a shower or anything?”

“Sleeps with it on. And I’m don’t know about that shower thing, I didn’t put a camera in their bathroom.”

Stacy briefly wondered if his knowledge about sleeping with the mask meant he’d put cameras in the bedrooms, but she pushed that out of her mind for now. “Why? Seems uncomfortable...”

Anti laughed. “Well, a long time ago, he tried a spell he wasn’t ready for, and it blew up in his face. I’m pretty sure he’s embarrassed about what it looks like underneath there...”

“Schneep! I know for a fact you’re in there!” Marvin banged on the door. When there was still no answer, he sighed, looking around the reception room of the clinic where he was standing. He didn’t like this place. It was that kind of almost-nice that looked like it was trying to fool you into thinking it was less shady than it actually was. The good doctor really needed to upgrade his decor.

Having enough of contemplating his dislike of this place, Marvin turned back to the door and started banging harder. “Hey doc! I’m not against melting your door down if you don’t come out in the next thirty seconds!”

The door flung open, and Marvin barely jumped out of the way in time to avoid getting a whack to the face. Schneep poked his head out. He was wearing his mask, which he proceeded to pull down in order to scowl at Marvin. “There is no need for such a commotion, my friend!” he scolded. “I was in one of the back rooms, I did not hear you for a while and then it took me a tick-tock to get here.”

“Whatever. Get a security camera wired up here, or a buzzer or something. I could’ve been a customer who just decided to take business elsewhere.”

Schneep barked out a laugh. “If people come here, it is not because they have options to take business to. But enough of this, what did you want?”

Marvin shifted on his feet. “I...need you to take a look at something.”

“Oh, is that all?” A wave of relief crossed Schneep’s face. He stepped back, opening the door wide enough for Marvin to pass through. “Come in, come in, I can see what it is back here.”

Marvin let Schneep lead him into the operating part of the clinic, but he refused to sit down on the table. “It seems not so serious, so if you would please wait a moment while I take care of this...” Schneep vanished through one of the metal doors leading deeper into the building, leaving Marvin to tap his feet impatiently. He didn’t like this. First of all, this place looked like it was thrown together, and also needed an upgrade. Second of all, he was already having doubts about this, he didn’t want them to have time to fester.

Schneep reemerged, tossing an empty syringe on a nearby tray. “There we are, we will not be disturbed now,” he said. “What is it you need help with?”

Marvin started fidgeting, pulling on his fingers. “Okay. So. I am—look, I’m trusting you with this. You can’t tell anyone, alright?”

“That is no problem.”

“I’m serious. I will literally put a fucking curse on you if I find out you told anyone.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve been working on one that can make it feel like pins are being shoved in your eyes whenever you look at something, and that something can be as vague as a specific color. Y’know, like the literal version of ‘cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.’”

“Now you are going overboard with this. I have no intention of telling anyone whatever it is this is about. This secret of yours is safe with me.”

Marvin exhaled slowly, and looked toward the ceiling. “Okay. Okay, good. Fuck. Here goes nothing.” Before he could change his mind, he reached up and undid the straps of his mask, then pulled it off. He slowly looked back towards the doctor.

Schneep’s eyes were wide. He stepped forward until he was uncomfortably close to Marvin. He raised his hand. “May I...?”

Marvin hesitated. “...fine,” he grumbled. “But take off your gloves, they’re still messy. And be careful.”

The doctor pulled off his gloves, then put his hands on either side of Marvin’s head, turning it from side to side so he could get a better look. “My god,” he muttered. “What happened to you?”

“That’s not your fucking business,” Marvin said through gritted teeth. “But they’ve been...itching for a while now, and I’m wondering if they’re infected or something.”

“I would be surprised if they were not. They look...angry.” Schneep’s eyebrows furrowed. “How old are they?”

“I think about...four years at this point?” Marvin started turning his mask over in his hands. It was hard to remember sometimes.

“Really? I would think only a couple months.”

“Doc, I’ve been living with you for two years and haven’t once taken off my mask. You didn’t think there was a reason for that?”

“Ah yes.” Tentatively, Schneep reached out and tapped Marvin in the middle of his forehead. “What is this?”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Marvin yanked his head back.

“Excuse me, I am concerned! That looks like bone!”

“It’s not bone, it’s just—making my first mask out of ceramic was a really bad idea, ‘cause even magically-enhanced pottery can still shatter.”

“Why do you have ceramic embedded in your face?!”

Marvin resisted the urge to touch the places where the shards had ended up lodging. He had them memorized by now, mostly because of the dead spot in his nerves there. Forehead, upper cheeks, one between his nose and left eye, one above his right. He could have dealt with the rest of the scars, if only the shards weren’t there. “Look, I was wearing my old mask at the time this happened, it broke, I ended up getting pieces of porcelain fucking stuck to my face, can we move on?!”

Schneep raised his hands in surrender, stepping back. “Okay, okay, fine!”

“Thank you.” Marvin began spinning his mask around his pointer finger, using one of the eyeholes. “Anyway, can you tell if they’re infected? And can you help if they are?”

Schneep bit his lip, eyes scanning the damage. “Well, I would have to know what caused them. They look a bit like burns, but in the pattern of knife slashes. Like hot glass.”

“What?”

“Bits of broken glass, heated up so they will burn, flung at your face. That’s what it looks like. There are also parts where I am reminded of Lichtenburg figures.”

“What?” Marvin repeated, exasperated.

“When things are struck by high voltage, patterns will appear. These are not quite the same as scars of lightning, they are...bigger. But I am reminded of them.”

Marvin sighed. “You know what? Let’s just work under the assumption that someone took a hot, electrified knife and repeatedly applied it to my face, that’s probably as accurate as you’re going to get. There might also be some lingering traces of magic in there.”

Schneep rolled his eyes. “Well, I cannot do anything about that, but if they are itching and irritating you, I have some salves that may help. They are in the other back room, the storage one, if you would kindly follow me.”

“Alright, alright, but I hope you find this stuff quickly. Chase is making me watch his ex for him, and I don’t feel like getting into a shouting match with him over not actually doing it.”

It was around midnight when Stacy decided to go to bed. She’d tried to read through the file Anti had given her on the magician, but had to stomp halfway through. Some of these spells...why would anyone want to use spells like that? Instead, she switched to reading the vigilante’s file, managing to finish it. Then she realized it was way too late, and she had to get up early to make breakfast for the kids, get ready for work, take the kids to school, and go to work herself. That was only four things, but that was too much.

She was walking down the hall to her room when there was a knock on the front door.

Fear jolted through her. Who could be knocking this late at night? Nobody good, probably. She stood shock-still in the hallway, waiting for something else. When nothing happened, she swallowed her nerves and crept toward the living room and the front door. Maybe it was nothing?

When she flipped the lights on, the front room looked exactly the same as it had earlier that day. Except for one thing: there was now a brown envelope sitting on the floor, in the perfect position to have been pushed through the mail slot. Stacy slowly stepped forward. She peered through the peephole on the door, seeing nothing on the other side. So she looked down at the envelope on the floor, then bent over and picked it up. She turned it over in her hands.

There were words written on the back of the envelope. “Hello sweetheart.”

Stacy recognized that handwriting.

She collapsed on the couch, staring at the envelope, listening to her heart pounding in her ears.

He’d found her.

[correresmidestinoweb-blog]

How to Write a Paper in One Night

Being in college is a chore. It takes a lot of work, carefully planned over the course of a week, or a month, or a quarter to make sure everything gets done with the full attention it deserves….are you laughing yet? No one puts in the time "required" to properly complete their college work. No, rather it's a rush at the end every week or two to complete a 10 page paper or learn 200 years of ancient Roman history overnight. You all do it, I did it. It's probably a better training skill than all the random stuff you "learn", because honestly in real life do you think you'll have the time to sit and schedule everything that pops into your life ahead of time. Yeah…thought not.

Anyways, for those of you just entering college from the snore inducing boredom and ease of High School, you're probably incredibly unprepared for the shear amount of work you'll have to pull out in the last second. I'm not saying it's easy just because you'll procrastinate. No, it's still hard. You really should take the time to do your work properly. You just won't, and so you need to learn how to procrastinate. It's a fine art, in which I feel I've become something of a Renoir.

First off, make sure you've got all your books and notes. If you don't go to class, which is entirely likely for those of the procrastinating ilk, make sure you get them from a classmate. Also, double check and make sure your professor doesn't have a website. They'll usually tell you, but more than once I've found a class's notes sitting in an archive online, especially now that 90% of them put everything they teach you into PowerPoint presentations and then just read it to you for an hour every day (yeah, lazy). It's usually only an extra 30 seconds out of their day to put the stuff online, and then when they receive twenty plus emails a week asking for the lecture notes, they only have to point you to the website. Well, some are a bit more facetious about their pupils not even bothering to come to class and don't openly offer said notes. However, for sick students and whatnot, they'll put them online to save paper and all it takes is a couple of quick Google searches or an email to a sick student and you've got your notes. Or…just ask a classmate. But then you're relying on them actually paying attention.

You should have your books too. If you never bothered buying them because you would just take notes or go to sparknotes, then you'd better go buy them, because BSing your way through a paper is going to take at least some resources. You can't magically ascertain the information from just being near smarter people. School would be much easier if that were the case.

So, sit down and start reading. Yup, you're going to be reading a lot the night before your work is due. But, this is better than doing all the assigned reading, because now you're searching for specific information. Instead of general learning (which would only stick around and clutter up your brain later) you're doing targeted research. An eighth the time, and none of that pesky remembering it. You should have your topic at least. If not, start surfing message boards and snag one from someone smarter than you. Don't ever take their work though. The last thing you need is to get kicked out of school for plagiarism. It's lazy and embarrassing. Steal concepts, but never words. And if you steal a concept from the middle of their work, cite them. Your university will not take kindly to cheating. You'll be so red taped and black listed, you might as well go and get an application at Jack in the Box, and trust me you don't want to work in fast food.

You can't procrastinate now. You've done that for three weeks, so I'm sorry (I know it hurts), but in terms of actual physical writing time, you'll need at least three hours to type your paper, which speaks nothing of writing it. And writing it involves finding quotations and that ever so pesky chore of thinking. Sit down, grab an energy drink and a bag of chips, close your door and put some headphones on. No television, and put your phone on the charger. Now open up the word processor and just start typing.

You probably think you have writer's block. But, writer's block is completely unrelated to having absolutely no idea what you're talking about. You're stuck with the second one right now, so just keep on reading on your topic and finding bits and pieces to put together.

The thing here that most people don't realize is that the standard writing process isn't in effect for you. You're not drafting, or brainstorming. That's the stuff you should have done two weeks ago. No, you're writing your paper, so make sure you've got your idea and just start writing and keep writing until you create a thesis somehow.

I usually start as broad as possible, and just start talking about something. If I'm writing about the Hero Quest of Pip in Great Expectations, I start by talking about Greek Mythology and the origin of the classical hero. Working my way down, I'll talk about the modern hero, then about the alterations made in the industrial age, and how Dickens rewrote archetypes for his comedy, and finally start talking about Pip. By now you should have a general idea about what you want to say. It might be general but you'll clarify in your next few paragraphs, and then come back and rewrite the first paragraph.

Paragraph one is almost always trash. Especially with this method, because your weary, angered professor after reading 30 of these lovely last minute essays will put a big red X through anything that doesn't have to do with your paper, and those first few grasping sentences are completely unrelated. But now you can start stealing from the text. Snag a quote and make a point. Snag another quote and make another point. If your thesis ends up as something incredibly broad and useless like "Pip's quest from anonymity and worthlessness into a position of wealth and power in London mirrors the classical hero quests, but works through Dickensian views of industrial England" you're still good. It sounds intelligent and has a lot of promise. Now just find specific quotes and build a narrative. Start at the beginning of his change, talk about his childhood, then go to when he changes, then compare to the Hero quests of old, then show how they're different.

Almost any paper, if written quickly can boil down to something simple and incredibly easy to write, a compare and contrast paper. You choose a prominent theme from the book you just "read". Find a source that mirrors or better yet foils this theme and compare the two. Don't just list how they're different though. That's high school stuff right there. You'll want to write exactly how the outside source changes what you think of your book. It sounds hard but jus think about it. You've got Great Expectations. It has a main character who goes on a kind of quest. Now you have a classic archetype of which there are hundreds of sources to draw on. You take a basic outline of this archetype and apply it to Pip's quest and how he fits it, and when he doesn't fit it. Now you finish your paper by describing why he doesn't fit it sometimes. Which gets you back to the Dickensian views part. You've just pretty much written a paper that says, Pip's quest is classic but different because Dickens was writing about a different time in human history. Incredibly simple; you're not telling anyone anything new, but three things will guarantee a good grade.

If you write well at all. You've got to be a halfway decent writer, which if you're in college I'll assume you are.

Professors love outside references. It shows initiative and research and makes it seem like you did extra work (which you didn't). I've written papers overnight without drafts and without ever reading them back to myself and received comments that I must have spent hours working on it. Not quite.

Confidence in your assertions. Say everything with absolute certainty, and back it up with a quote. Do this enough and even if you're wrong, it'll seem like you've made a decent point, which gets you brownie points.

Writing a paper is a tumultuous task but it's also a scalable task that can be made incredibly quick and easy if you know how. My second to last quarter of college, I wrote three order thesis  papers in two days; two of them 10 pages, and one 25 pages, and received a 3.8, and two 3.7s. It's a matter of confidence and above all else an unmitigated fearlessness to be incredibly lazy.

[andyagentoftheempire-blog]

The best way to Rank Increased In Google's New Engines like google

The latest modifications to Google causes it to be appear to be Google is no more only one online search engine but a mix of six or seven diverse engines like google all rolled into one particular. Your Search engine optimization initiatives need to now be geared to ranking higher in these search engines like google and yahoo and also in classic organic search.

A short while back I wrote an post entitled "The 5 Pillars of Google Look for" and experienced I recognised how vital Those people pillars would develop into, I would've paid out much more awareness to them. What I didn't aspect in to the equation was Google's entire re-structuring of its SERPs interface or landing website page. It truly Digitalninja is a complete new Google with not just 1 search engine but a mix of 6 or seven search engines like google all competing for your personal focus.

The new remaining aspect column with its new functions and displays, opens up new options for site owners to receive their listings within just Google on that every one critical first site. You will also find lots of new solutions to see the final results which include view almost everything or you are able to perspective with kind of shopping backlinks. Moreover You may as well see Google success for guides, maps, weblogs, updates and conversations - all new approaches to get your internet site or inbound links into Google. Toss in the Speculate Wheel and factors are in fact seeking really unique throughout the new Google SERPs.

As an entire-time on the internet internet search engine marketer, I should have envisioned a thing like this however the the latest variations within just Google has been thoroughly unprecedented. We have now observed key updates ahead of, a number of them very disruptive similar to the Florida update, but with Google Caffeine, MayDay Update, new layout and also the current shakeup of its Algorithm, Google has fundamentally adjusted how its organic search are ranked and utilized.

Before I start out sounding as well cryptic, these new modifications seem to be a "coming collectively" of all the differing types of queries in Google which have existed for quite a while. Now it seems With all the new interface architecture... Each individual form of search is specified extra importance or instead extra of the equivalent billing or footing inside Google. There are actually now multiple methods to get your links seen and hopefully clicked in just An important online search engine on the planet.

To start with, I usually check out to start out any piece on Google or the various search engines that has a disclaimer. Primarily, in the midst of operating 9 or ten Internet websites, I preserve a day-to-day checking from the keywords which create revenue, some of these key phrase phrases are already monitored by me for six or 7 decades, but They may be only a little sampling of key phrases and from time to time drawing or building conclusions with these kinds of a little sample is often deceptive or downright Erroneous. So choose any of the following information on Google with this particular level in your mind, only one webmaster observing what is going on with Google and Placing in his two cents really worth.

Now, The key reason why I say "Google's New Search engines like yahoo" is the feeling which has step by step crept into my day-to-day advertising and marketing - it looks like you happen to be not handling one particular organic and natural internet search engine but 6 or seven different search engines like yahoo. Allow me to describe, for years Google is presenting effects for not merely static webpages but also for visuals, films, information, weblogs and purchasing/products and solutions - but new adjustments have shaken up points substantially.

Using the new adjustments Google is apparently placing more importance on these new ways to look. Videos have taken a huge phase ahead and may now pop up on the 1st site and stay there. Producing a video clip is now one of many speediest strategies to get on the first page of Google, even for quite aggressive keywords. Whilst several on line marketers are Profiting from this fact, it is pretty new and you can Have a very far better potential for rating for a video clip as opposed to a normal Web content in Google. It may occur Nearly promptly.

Individually, I like utilizing the YouTube System mainly because it can be owned by Google and they without a doubt can easily tap into many of the track record stats on a video for instance comments, viewer ratings... and so forth. Quite simply, Google has generally favored approaches to produce their SERPs much more democratic and person generated/rated videos are the perfect in good shape.

So as well are blog posts and entries, these might be simply monitored and (comment spam apart) are more democratic because it's more difficult to phony Diggs or Re-tweets. All these social bookmarking methods and web pages provide the search engines, Particularly Google, with some really useful person-produced rankings and ratings. Blogs now also have two subcategories - Twitter/Fb Updates and Discussion board Conversations, that are now currently being displayed individually.

Google is apparently inserting more value on popular Posts, Diggs, Tweets... of their SERPs. Once more, I find making use of a straightforward Google owned plan like Blogger to get a successful way of ranking significant in Google. As an example, my posts in Blogger are indexed in Google inside of minutes, this a short while ago seems to are actually speeded up and we've been moving a lot more towards fast search results.

A different prompt method of getting your written content onto the initial web site of Google is to utilize a Information Launch. Google has generally mentioned News Items on the very first web site but this now seems to Perform a far more essential role, particularly when you concentrate on all the new options while in the remaining aspect column. Surfers will probably remain on that initially webpage lengthier and you've got a much better possibility of receiving your information item read.

Within the very last few decades, I've started out undertaking Press Releases, largely as a result of PRweb but there are lots of free plans You need to use. I also like submitting my posts to American Chronicle since Google News picks up and displays a great deal of these things. Once again, like movies, obtaining your News merchandise stated is sort of fast and within seconds you can have visitors flowing to your site.

Photographs and image search has usually been a significant element of Google Lookup. One which on the net Entrepreneurs and webmasters have taken advantage of by generating images to match the leading goods or key phrases of their sites. Now graphic research by itself is considerably more different and has lots of much more selections to re-described your picture lookup, one example is you could possibly concentrate on a specific colour or line drawings. Regardless, images could be an uncomplicated method of getting targeted traffic from Google.

Throughout the searching outcomes is definitely the spot to be featured if you have an item to promote. This is the old item listing (Froogle) which Google has renamed to Purchasing or Products Research. For people into online marketing, this is most likely An important listing as you happen to be sure to entice certain consumers that are in the appropriate thoughts-set to purchase. To learn more about publishing your merchandise to Google Item Search go below: http://www.google.com/intl/en_us/products/submit.html

Though all these lookup possibilities is usually considerably perplexing to grasp even for the online marketer, every one of these possibilities do current alternative ways for getting on that 1st web page in Google look for. And even though the number one location in organic and natural research will always be your most important objective, position for the top location inside the shopping final results, movie success, news outcomes, blog site benefits, update effects, discussion benefits and image effects are all really worth aiming for in the Web optimization efforts. Some of these are short-term or rapid going, but you will find certain strategies You need to use which can increase your existence in The most crucial search engine which provides by far the most look for website traffic online.

Make sure you take a holistic method of both your articles and Website positioning. Generate videos and images geared in direction of your internet site's subject matter and keywords and phrases. Be sure you have a blog plus a Discussion board on your site to reap the benefits of these sorts of listings. Similarly, fully integrate your web site with all of the social bookmarking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Google Excitement... and grow to be an Lively A part of those websites. You should definitely're developing information related goods for your internet site or key phrases, to keep your web-site in the whole combination of points on the net. Ensure you have a steady flow of new content staying added to your site consistently and connection this content to the "Q&A" varieties of web pages; There's a increasing emphasis remaining put on these aid-dependent websites by the major search engines.

Finally, I am a agency believer in owning all your material/web-sites/packages interconnected with one another. A thing as simple as utilizing a Google Profile to listing ALL your on the web applications and web-sites is A method of constructing them ALL reachable by your visitors and Google. But go for that overkill, do precisely the same detail to your Fb web site, your MySpace website page, your LinkedIn web site... and in addition interconnect all of your different material by referencing your films in the Information Releases, your Twitter profile in the articles, your Facebook site with your posts... nicely, you can get the picture.

Just be certain the various search engines, and especially Google, have no trouble acquiring you or your written content. Be certain this information is diverse and shown in several mediums for instance movies, photographs, news, tweets, website posts and buying inbound links. Achieving that initial web page in Google has become a good deal more challenging in numerous ways, but Additionally, it has grown to be a lot much more simpler to do. Just Select it.

[clothing-references]

Oh... Oh sweetie, you must be new. c:

Okay, so first off, I am a trans boy, therefore I have no adam’s apple, even if I wanted one that badly, get yo terms right and maybe learn about who you’re trying to insult before you’re doing it, okay?

So apparently you haven’t been here for a while because I’ve been proudly supporting people in the trans community since before this blog even came to be. Around holidays that I’m aware of, I offer safe binding tips, I make posts specifically reminding people that it’s okay to be who they are and that there is nothing wrong with feeling comfortable in your own skin even if it means altering a couple of things in the future. I offer safe tips onhow to deal with difficult family with hashtags like “stay safe” just in case it somehow pops up for someone else when they needed to see it. Because it’s not that hard to let people be happy when their choices to do what they want with their own bodies do not affect me in the slightest.

I KNOW, THAT IS SO CRAZY, RIGHT?! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT SOMEONE WEARING A DRESS OR COVERING THEIR NECK WITH A SCARF WAS LITERALLY NOT HARMFUL TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. IT’S MIND BLOWING, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SIT DOWN TO PROCESS IT. I’M HERE FOR YOU, IT’S OKAY.

So let’s start off with some basic facts.

First off, even some people assigned female at birth are born with adam’s apples and I get it, maybe you didn’t know that, but it’s not as uncommon as you think.

But how could you have possibly known this, right? WELL GUESS WHAT, @eboshi12 I AM HERE TO PERSONALLY TELL YOU ABOUT SOME AMAZING ASS TECHNOLOGY BY THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU HAVE APPARENTLY NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. ARE YOU READY FOR IT?

This, my friend is called Google. It’s a very new piece of technology, but it’s compatible with nearly any device that allows you to use a browser!! :O I know, crazy, right?! If you have a computer handy, all you have to do is go into the search bar and type anything, and I mean anything that you wanna know and there is probably a good chance that what your looking for will be found through this handy search engine. You can also use it on smartphones! If you don’t know how, check a wiki how to article! I heard they are very handy!! In fact, since you don’t seem to understand the basic functions of your smart phone, this article in particular will probably be a great help! It assumes that you’re using Android, though, so I’m sorry because you seem like an Apple user. Fear not though, I also found this one!! It’s totally compatible with iphones! :O AMAZING, RIIIIIIGHT?

Alright, I hope I’m not going to fast for you, but let’s continue!

Okay so since you are unaware of how adam’s apples work, once you have finally successfully opened up Google, you just have to click in the little box underneath your logo. To do that, you keep your mouse on top of a flat surface and move it up until it’s over the box. Then you use the clicky piece on the left and there you go, you just clicked on the box. Oh, what? What’s a logo you ask? It’s that colourful thing that spells Google. Cool, you caught up? Good! Now if you have a smartphone, you can also click on the microphone and ask it directly through voice! Nifty, huh?

So what we do is we go and we type or voice the question “can women be born with adam’s apples.” It’s a very simple search and you should get PAGES upon pages of results!

Now here’s a search result because I know you didn’t actually do it! c: And there you go, it turns out that women can also have adam’s apples and you angrily pointing out women with noticeable adam’s apples whether they are assigned that at birth or not, is an invalid argument and it really hurts the feelings of women who are always compared to men when they were assigned female at birth and also very happy with their given gender. I know, you meant to hurt trans people but you’re also hurting “normal” folks just like yourself. I mean... That is If someone who doesn’t know how to operate Google but can still use Tumblr in this day and age is considered the norm...

But there’s something else!

Women don’t just include females who are assigned a specific set of chromosomes at birth. They include intersex people who identify as women who are also valid women and should not be thrown to the side and ignored simply because of something they couldn’t control.

And don’t worry, I’ll include more screenshots so you can be engaged with pretty pictures while I educate you.

See? They exist, too.

Gender is also seen as a spectrum, not only by myself and other trans people, but by actual scientists with real licenses and other people who are well-known for finding out the truth.

Don’t believe me? That’s okay, I know you don’t.

This here is a .org website that offers lots of information on gender as a spectrum.

Still don’t believe me? Here’s a National Geographic article!!

What’s that? You don’t feel like reading some more? WELL OKAY THEN GEEZ.

Remember this guy? He’s from Myth Busters. Same show that proved that the Titanic was full of bs when they said Jack and Rose couldn’t have both fit on that door thing. But of course, you’re just gonna say that “WELL HE AIN’T A REAL SCIENTIST” so I give you this.

There’s a handy video made by Bill Nye. It’s only a part one, feel free to check out the rest on your own time. Just use that Google option, look up “Bill Nye gender” and there you go. Also, no, he never claimed that gender is determined by chromosomes and if you use that fancy Google thing I mentioned, you’ll quickly find that out for yourself. He may have majored in mechanical engineering, but he also went to Boeing, Cornell U, and The Planetary Society. He’s literally called a science guy for a reason, so don’t you go and give me them commonly used Facebook arguments about how a wrestler is more qualified to do his job than he is just because you saw a meme of it once.

I could go on all day but if none of this fails to get through to you, then I’m sorry. I tried, I really did. But you’re just too angry to accept that it’s okay to let people identify with what they want to.

If you are still gonna come here and act like this, giving me all this angry hate speech about people who are really have no physical or mental affects on you, then you’re not welcome on this blog. You’re just not. That post wasn’t made for you. It was made for everyone else who isn’t a hateful piece of garbage. It was made for trans people who follow this blog who come on this site for a nice, safe environment which is what I plan on providing them with to the best of my ability. That is my purpose on this site. I am not here for you. I am here for the young artists, the introverts who need somewhere to go during the day, the extroverts who need something to kill time, the trans people who wanna design trans characters but they need the clothing and refs necessary to do so, the nonbinary people who enjoy that I run this blog with the thought that beautiful clothing belongs to everyone regardless of who you identify as, the queer people who like that I take the time to ask them questions about why they’re on this blog and how my blog helps them, the cis/hetero people who still follow me because they are real allies who love seeing all that I can offer because seeing a woman with a bob in her neck doesn’t offend them, the people of colour including myself who come here and get to see beautiful women in hijabs and how to properly style/draw black hair or how to draw or design specific clothing belonging to specific cultures, it’s for everyone who loves clothing and can accept that as long as it looks cute and someone enjoys it, it’s okay to wear and design.

THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT THEY OWN THE CONCEPT OF GENDER SIMPLY BECAUSE IT OFFENDS THEM ON A WEBSITE WHERE MAYBE 90% OF THE USERS ARE QUEER AS HECK. YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW IF YOU THINK ANYTHING HERE IS FOR YOU AND THAT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HATEFUL TO PEOPLE YOU WILL NEVER EVEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

I don’t normally swear on this specific blog and I hate putting people on blast, but I am Adrian. I am a 21 year old trans man who wears feminine and masculine clothing, who loves to draw, someone who is here for people who feel like they have nowhere to go when they need to unwind. I am only here to make people smile and I will not stand for your transphobic bullshit. Especially not today. So I will kindly ask you to fuck off now and have a nice day. You can come back when you’re ready to stop being petty over people trying to be happy and comfortable with themselves on the one day we have to do so.

Or maybe not because I’ll be blocking you from this blog in a good hour or so so you have the time to see this if you actually decided you had the mental capacity to take the time to read a simple post. That way I don’t have to see you interacting with posts intended for trans positivity. I find you doing this under other usernames and congrats, you’ve ensured that you’ll be extremely easy to report and find. I won’t allow you to become an issue.

With all that said and done, I hope you have a lovely day today! Happy Trans Day of Visibility, everyone! And don’t worry, I’ll get back to posting my regularly scheduled refs soon!

[cherry-nephilim]

The Secret to an Unforgettable Visual Pun

Puns have a bad rap for being corny. But, when done well, they’re an intelligent form of communication with the potential to bond people.

When you think of puns, you probably think of groan-inducing dad jokes like, “Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.” Or, “Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.”

Linguistic puns like these either exploit the different meanings of a word (atmosphere: the gases that surround a planet/the pervading mood of a place), or the fact that two words or phrases sound alike (“Noah” and “know a”).

But puns can be visual as well, exploiting the similarities between two objects or images. For example, using fruit to represent celestial bodies against a black background, or an eggshell to replace glass in a broken lightbulb. 

Exploiting similarities between objects. Images via JULI DAVYDOVA and Zamurovic Brothers.

Buildings, or other man-made objects that look like faces, are also common visual puns. So are faces and creatures made out of food. Even emojis can be visual puns, with peaches, for instance, standing in for butts.

Visual puns that resemble faces . . . or butts. Images via genkur, spinetta, Mitoria, and serg78.

“Punning is probably as old as language itself,” says John Pollack, winner of the 1995 O. Henry World Pun-Off Championships and author of The Pun Also Rises: How the Humble Pun Revolutionized Language, Changed History, and Made Wordplay More Than Just Some Antics. “And, there is evidence of visual punning going back 35,000 years or more, long before the invention of the first phonetic alphabet, when people were still living in caves in Europe and the Middle East.” 

Structures that naturally look like a face. Images via PLM Prod, Nigel French, and Pritha_EasyArts.

But, punning is about more than mere substitution or verisimilitude. It’s about the layering and amplifying of meaning through economy of language, be that language written, spoken, or visual. Take this image of a balloon crossed with a hand grenade, for example.

Image via Zamurovic Brothers.

It’s a brilliant visual pun, not just because the balloon is green and looks like the body of a grenade, but because balloons and grenades have something else in common—they explode! Well, balloons pop, but close enough. Switch out the balloon for a tennis ball or a lime and you’ve still got a visual pun, but it’s not nearly as satisfying.

The other thing that makes this particular pun so effective is that you can still see that the balloon is, in fact, a balloon. If the artist turned the balloon so the knot was no longer visible, the pun wouldn’t succeed.

Image via microstock3D.

True, the resulting object would look more like an actual grenade, but it would cease to be identifiable as a balloon and our enjoyment of the pun comes from knowing that it’s both—and discovering the previously unseen connection between them.

It’s this “Aha!” moment of discovery that’s at the root of our collective love of puns—visual or otherwise. “Although, in recent year, puns have been relegated to the category of stupid jokes, they’re not intrinsically humorous,” Pollack says.

Purposeful visual puns. Images via White_Fox and Stockimo.

True, when we encounter a new pun, our instinct is to laugh (or at least smile and groan a bit), but that’s really just our body’s way of processing and expressing the excitement we feel at any moment of discovery or triumph. It’s like the feeling you get when you finish a jigsaw puzzle or fill in the last word in a crossword. Suddenly, it all comes together and you are, even if only momentarily, elated.

Puns are further enhanced by context. Take the below compositions of polar bears floating on icebergs.

Visual puns conveying a message on sustainability—or lack thereof. Images via triocean, Madestra Dell, and triocean.

The visual pun here is that the icebergs are made out of “disposable” white plastic bags, the message being that our reliance on petroleum-based products, like plastic bags, is causing catastrophic habitat loss for polar bears.

Ice sheets that have existed for millennia are breaking apart and disappearing, stranding the poor polar bears in rising seas filled with garbage.

Images like these aren’t just about exploiting the visual similarity of ice and plastic bags, but about communicating something deeper and richer in as elegant a way as possible. 

Life and death puns. Images via ozrimoz, and PHONGBUBUBUM.

Puns can also combine visual, spoken, and written language, like a drawing of a small chili shivering above the phrase “I’m a little chili.” Or, two heads of lettuce wearing birthday hats, accompanied by the phrase “lettuce celebrate.”

Punny puns. Images via Poppy_Field, kevinhoebig, minimolestudio, and Popmarleo.

Not exactly sophisticated, but cute. Certainly cute enough for a T-shirt or a bubble-lettered tote bag. If you do a Google search of the term “visual pun,” these are the kinds of images that come up.

Romantic puns. Images via Poppy_Field and Poppy_Field.

They’re cartoonish and a bit juvenile, but that’s why they’re massively popular. They’re bright and colorful and easy to understand. They give you that rush of discovery without making you work for it. 

Simplistic, cutesy puns. Images via Poppy_Field and minimolestudio.

But puns, like so many things in life, are generally better when they’re harder won (or at least seem that way). This is not to say that a good pun should be complicated to the point of being torturous. Far from it.

Puns should be quickly and easily understandable. But, what is quickly and easily understandable to one group of people may be completely impenetrable to another. And, that’s where puns get really interesting. 

Don’t get it. Wait . . . Almost . . . Got it! Images via Ofir Avrahamov and BRETT SIRRELL.

Take, for instance, puns that require knowledge of more than one language, like this one: “Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un œuf.” Un œuf is French for “one egg,” but phonetically, it sounds almost identical to the English word enough.

Sound it out. You got this one. Image via meganopierson.

An English speaker with no knowledge of French would hear this joke and it would go completely over their head. But, a person who spoke French and English would at least get it, even if they didn’t fall down laughing.

What’s more, in understanding it, they’d feel a certain kinship with the person who said it, a connection having been established between the two of them through their shared knowledge of more than one language.

Similar connections are also possible through visual punning. For instance, images that reference other works of art, like Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam,” from the Sistine Chapel.

Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam” in the Sistine Chapel. Image via Creative Lab.

Now, this particular painting is one of the most famous in the world—replicated on everything from dorm room posters to cookie tins—but catching the reference still requires at least some knowledge of art and art history.

“The Creation of Adam” puns. Images via Lia Koltyrina and Anicka S.

And, if these images were shown to a group of people, those who caught the reference would feel a connection to each other that would actually enhance their enjoyment of the images and bond them together, even if only briefly. 

In this way, puns are actually a tool for building community. That’s because, when people understand a pun, they feel a connection to the other people who understand it and feel superior to those who don’t. That might sound a little snotty, but it’s really just human nature.

After all, everyone likes to feel smart, and catching a pun that others don’t—or that you believe others might miss or struggle with—makes you feel just that.

It also connects you to all the other smart people who also caught that pun and to the person who created it in the first place.

And, in the event that pun was used in an ad, it connects you to the product that ad is selling and gets you that much closer to actually buying it.  

Images via Zamurovic Brothers and leshun irina.

A few more fun articles for you:

Pop Art Design: Make Your Own Pop Art Masterpieces

The History of Abstract Photography

The Influence of Folklore on Fashion

A Brief History of Fashion Week Street Style

Chucky? Annabelle? How Dolls Became a Symbol of Horror

Cover image via Fischer Fotostudio.

The post The Secret to an Unforgettable Visual Pun appeared first on The Shutterstock Blog.

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[elanorjane]

California Soulmates Chapter 5

Summary: Pop princess Belle wants to write her own music. Single father Gold wants to put his failed music career behind him. When inspiration hits, there's only one problem...the songs they're writing are each other's. "Telepathic soulmates" RCIJ for @beastlycheese

AO3

Belle stood in the middle of the stage, hands on her lower back, looking up at the scaffolding being erected above her. She’d played the Staples Center before, but as part of a group. The stage seemed to dwarf her now in a way it didn’t when she had Ruby and Ariel on either side of her. Behind her, some dancers were practicing in harnesses that launched them from one side of the stage to the other. She looked out at the sea of 19,000 seats in front of her. This was it. There’d be no turning back now. This performance, her very first as a solo act, on such a large stage was symbolic of the path she was about to go down. She’d be a pop artist now, on her father’s label. Not the storyteller she really wanted to be.  

She heard her phone beep at the end of the stage where she’d set it. There weren’t any pockets in the leggings she was wearing, there couldn’t be anything for a dancer to get their fingers caught on when they lifted her. She lifted it to see a message from Ruby. Just seeing her name on her phone made her smile. She’d had such a good time with Ruby and Ariel at the restaurant and going over to Ariel and Eric’s house afterward. She got to meet Eric and get a peek at the domestic, comfortable routine they had with one another. That was when Belle realized that, rather than Ariel and Ruby being driven out of the industry, maybe she was the one on the outside looking in. Sitting in on the couch, watching Eric, Ruby, and Ariel joke with each other in a familiar way, Belle felt like a fish stuck inside a small tank with a sad decorative plant, while the rest of them were free to roam the ocean.

Afterward, the three of them had retreated to the basement into a small recording studio Eric had rigged up for Ariel. It was cramped and ramshackle and Belle thought it was her favorite place she’d ever recorded a song in her life. They’d giggled and gossiped in a way that made Belle feel Avonlea had never broken up. In between stories, they sipped on bottles of hard lemonade and Belle recorded the secret song from her notebook. Just thinking about the song brought her peace. That song that represented the kind of music she wanted to be making. It was also proof that she could do it. A dangerous fact that she didn’t know what to do with yet.

Belle unlocked her phone to see the message from Ruby.

Have you seen? People are losing their shit!

A series of bubbles popped up after that, signalling that Ruby was typing. A YouTube link popped up on her screen.

She glanced around and muted her phone before hitting the link with her thumb. She scrolled past the video of random pictures they’d found online they’d made to play over the song to the comments below.

A lot of people were wondering what it was. Some thought it was an old demo. Others claimed it wasn’t her singing at all because it didn’t sound like her. Actually, Belle thought, it sounded more like her than she’d ever had. Others guessed it was a new track off her yet to be released album. As if her father would allow that to happen.  

“What’s that, princess?” the man himself appeared over her shoulder.  

Belle jumped, quickly dropping the phone to her side. “Nothing,” she insisted. “Just a video Ruby sent me.” She stuck close to the truth so she’d appear less guilty. Belle cast her mind about for something her father would have little interest in. “Funny cats.”

He shook his head in a ‘I can’t understand you kids these days’ way. “We’re doing a complete run through in fifteen. Get your head in the game,” he told her.  

“Yes, papa,” she replied automatically, hating how obedient she sounded. But she was convincing enough to make him wonder off down the stage.  

Belle sighed in relief. Now that she’d secretly done something rebellious, she found it more difficult, instead of easier, to appease him. She wondered if recording and leaking that song was going to be the only rebellious thing she’d ever get do in her entire life.    

She’d done something ‘bad’ in making that song. And it made her want to do it again.

***

The scream went up when he was halfway up the stairs. He’d gone to the grocery store alone since Bae wasn’t talking to him anymore. He’d get over it. Gold could not let himself feel bad for doing what was best for his family and moving them across an ocean was going to be better for them in the long run. He was shoring up his determination to face Bae again, a cloth bag in each hand as he trudged up the stairs, when he heard the wail that he knew was unquestionably his son’s. It was a crowded apartment building with a lot of kids, it could conceivably had been any one of them, but he just knew it was Bae’s. He dropped both his bags as he scrambled the rest of the way up the staircase, oranges tumbling down the stairwell.

After a long moment where he felt as if he was climbing up the stairs but getting nowhere, Gold burst into the apartment. Bae stood in the middle of the room jumping around. First on one leg, and then the other.

Was there a fire? Did he hurt himself? Gold’s eyes searched the room desperately. No smoke. No fire. No blood. Just Bae. Who was smiling maniacally from ear to ear.

“We’re going!” he hooted. “We’re going to the concert!”

This again . Gold’s entire body deflated. He put one hand on the doorframe to steady himself, the other went to his chest, as if he could physically calm the pounding now that he knew his son was safe. His white t-shirt felt soaked in perspiration. He heard doors opening behind him and he ducked under his braced arm to wave off the curious neighbors peeking their heads out their doors to check on the commotion.

“Bae,” he began wearily.

“You can’t tell me ‘no’ now because I won them!” he shouted in his father’s face.

That stopped him short. “You wo- what? How?”  

“On the radio!” He was still yelling.  

Bae won tickets to that stupid concert? The exact one they’d been fighting about for days now? “Since when do you listen to the radio?” he asked dumbly instead. If it wasn’t viral and on YouTube, he doubted Bae had ever heard it.

“They always give tickets away to stuff,” Bae blew past his question. “I was caller twenty-two, Belle’s age. Then I had to answer trivia. Name Belle’s favorite Avonlea song, that kind of stuff, it was easy.”  

Christ, how much did his son know about this woman?

Beyond that, Gold was completely bewildered. How many bizarre things could happen to them inside a week? First the songs, now this. He struggled to come to terms with this new reality. So he had to take Bae to the Belle concert after all. He thought he had escaped all that.

“Not only that!” Bae hollered at him.

Gold’s hand clenched his shirt where it still rested over his heart. He didn’t think he could take another shock.

“We get to go to the meet and greet after the show!” Bae told him this as if this was the best thing to ever happen to them.

The words took a long time to process. Now, he not only had to take Bae to the concert and possibly sit through this complete stranger performing his material, he had to meet this woman face-to-face, smile and pretend she hadn’t plagerized the most precious song he’d ever written.

Shit.

***

The seats he’d won weren’t that great, not that Bae minded.

Gold grimaced at sheer number of people crammed into the arena. This wasn’t a concert venue, this was a spectacle. Among 19,000 screaming fans, 99% of them were less than half his age. He’d spotted a few other parents around, either dropping their kids at the curb or, like him, roped into coming in with them. He was dressed normally in a t-shirt with a flannel over it, which Bae disapproved of and tried repeatedly to get him to change.

“You’re going to meet Belle ,” Bae kept insisting, ushering him back towards the small closet of clothes he had.

Like hell was he getting dressed up for this woman. They weren’t meeting the Queen for god’s sake.  

The opening act was a young girl with a big voice and Gold wondered how long it was going to be until the business ate her up and spit her out, the pessimism at being in this place again wearing on him. None of this was Gold’s kind of music. This also wasn’t his kind of scene. He preferred a more intimate venue, where the music could really shine. This wasn’t so much a concert as 19,000 people getting together to scream at a woman who was the size of an ant from where they sat.

The little girl left the stage to polite applause and the house lights went up while they switched out the instruments.

Even as they were walking to the Staples Center, he still didn’t believe Bae had won tickets. But there they were, at will call, along with red wrist bands that were secured around their arms, telling everyone they were part of the meet and greet after the show. Gold passed hundreds of fans eyeing up their bands hungrily and he put a protect hand on Bae’s shoulder, not doubting for a second that most of them wouldn’t hesitate to rip them off them if given half the chance.

The lights dimmed, signaling Belle’s arrival, and everyone, except Gold it seemed, collectively lost their minds.  

Even as he sat there, Gold didn’t know a thing about this woman. In the days leading up to the concert, he’d purposefully avoided Googling her. Partly because doing so would make him feel like a creepy old monster. He remembered what how one simple photo had affected him. He refused to go down that path. He was not going to get a crush on his son’s crush. But mostly he forbid himself from entering her name in a search engine so he didn’t become obsessively paranoid about her stealing his music. He needed to keep it together at this meet and greet.

When Belle finally came to the stage, her songs had all the substance of cotton candy. He lost count how many times she ran off stage only to re-enter in a new outfit. Her stomach was on display in tiny tops and even tinier skirts. She strutted around the stage in impossibly high heels so when she spun her skirt flipped up in the back.

Not that he could hear her very well over all the screaming and the singing along, but he suspected she was lip syncing half of each song so she could move along with her cadre of backup dancers. She kept her own dancing to a minimum. Mostly the group danced around her, occasionally lifting her up over their heads. But when she did join in she dipped and slithered in the kind of moves one found in a strip club. Projected onto the jumbo screens, Gold couldn’t avoid her seductive performance. Thankful for the darkened auditorium, he adjust himself on the sly. She was beautiful, obviously.

What would she sound like stripped down? He wondered on a purely professional level. What would she look like stripped down? The natural follow-up question popped into his head unbidden.

She sang the terrible pop song he’d written but thankfully not Bae’s song. He didn’t relax until the house lights came up and an announcement came over the loudspeakers, telling the crowd that Belle and the Staples Center thank them for coming and for those with meet and greet bands, please form a queue on the now brightly lit floor. Gold and Bae made their way down several flights of stairs, finally hitting the floor. Gold gave their names to the large man wearing a bright yellow Security shirt and they were given the nod to follow the line. A concert organizer ushered small groups of them at a time into the backstage area.

Gold examined the large ornate stage the tour staff was already dismantling to pack up and take to the next town. Gold had never seen anything so over the top. Things in his day had been downright minimalist compared to this. Just a stage and some instruments, how much more could you need if the music was decent? Easy to say if you never had it, he thought. He could have played venues like this, had his life gone differently.  

He put his hand on Bae’s shoulder, “You know, I was back here once.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied in monotone. He had no interest in hearing tall tales about the youthful indiscretions of his old man and who could blame him.  

As they were ushered backstage, Gold’s sense of dejavu returned. He’d been here once before, as a prospective opening act. Right before it all fell apart. As they rounded the corner down a wide hallway, he knew what he’d see. It played out in front of him, just like it had twelve years ago. He’d been limping down the hallway. He’d injured his ankle the night before after drinking a bit too much at a party and tripping awkwardly off the curb on the walk home. He didn’t have health insurance, none of them did, they were invincible as far as they were concerned. But he’d offered to round up the rest of the band because they were a half hour from going on at the Staples Center. They were going to be U2’s second opening act on some of their latest tour dates, with the possibility of more if they were liked. Milah was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed. Jones was looming over her, pinning her against the wall in a way that brought him up short. He’d surprised them, he could tell. They jumped apart.

“Listen, mate…” Killian said apologetically.

Milah had tried to stop him from continuing, but it all came tumbling out after that. They were together, had been for a while now. They’d fought, Gold had pleaded, and Milah and Jones had left. He could still hear the slam of the Exit door at the end of the hall they had escaped out of, taking his entire career with them. They’d never gone on that night, and they never would again.  

Gold shook himself back to the present. It didn’t look like much had changed, except the clothes on the people milling around and ache in his ankle that acted up more as he aged. He wondered whether the cigarette burn he’d made on one of the walls was still there.  

He was so busy torturing himself with the past that he hadn’t even noticed it was their turn until Bae tugged hard on his arm. He took a few distracted steps forward, looked up, and stared at the most captivating blue eyes he’d ever seen.