#also chat is it real that her second name is elise

[veevoosh]

wake up nerds its dipcifica doodle dump time!!!! (sigh)

(i forgot whose au this was, but i thought it was really cute!!!!)

+ extras!!!!

anywayz i love these dorks. i hope they explode into confetti /joking

[nathank77]

4/6/24

6:04 p.m Added to/ Edited 6:24 p.m

So I took a half MG last night and passed out really quickly at like 7 a.m or so. I woke up at like 12 and took benadryl cause I had to pee. I ended up sleeping until 4 p.m...

I had dreams like I used to, where I woke up and went to the fridge and grabbed a drink. Then I grabbed a Think Protien Bar the Brownie one and I sat in bed. It was like 4:30 p.m. I really thought I was awake. This time I knew I slept though... maybe I'm healing a little from my microsleep trauma... idk...

I woke up at 4 p.m thinking wait wasn't it 4:30? Where is the brownie Protein bar? And I realized It was a dream.

Nonetheless I still keep a sleep tracker that has turned into a sleep tracker/every calorie I consume diet tracker/pill tracker/ and eventful things about that day tracker such as muscles spasms or heart palpitations.... it's really thorough... I know it helps me cope with the trauma of microsleeping and makes sure I don't forget important things.

Anyways I took a shower and now I'm going to set up my sleeping pill... then all I got to do is brush my teeth after my second meal...

Idk what to do with the rest of my day... maybe I'll game. Maybe I will stare mindlessly at my TV and not hallucinate.

I was thinking about streaming on Twitch some Minecraft or something but I know I won't have viewers... I wish someone would start a chat with me there......

I actually scheduled that account for deletion months ago bc I thought it was hacked, and my auditory hallucination convinced me to reactivate it... I wouldn't have but I'm glad it did. It said something like, you worked hard for those followers, you should keep it instead of making a new account. That's the one thing I'm thankful for from my voice auditory hallucination, it would have been gone if it didn't tell me to reactivate it within that time frame.

I've made a decision about my glasses wearing.. I'm going to wear them alone cause my sight is challenged and my eyes feel weak.... if I go out on a date, I'm going to take them off... if I do meet ups, I'm not going to wear them. I may not even wear them during my videos anymore....

I won't take selfies with them anymore... I'm going to redo my entire dating profiles without glasses once I can take good photos without them... tbh I like how I look with glasses.... so I take these photos and I'm like you'd look better with your glasses. That one is okay but where are your glasses... I got to get one thats good enough that the glasses don't need to be there and then get like 3 or 4 more.

I'll get contacts or adjust to what my vision is... I can't see myself touching my eyes to put contacts in..the weird part is I tried to take my glasses off on my bimoji but I looked naked.... my face looked so empty... much like my face in real life without them. When I first started wearing them, I mean I felt nerdy but I didn't care cause I could live life with and without them... then I got adjusted to seeing myself in them and now I look weird without them..

You can see the, "bags," or "black lines," under my eyes... I mean yet if I look at anyone else without them these things aren't noticeable..... I think once you start wearing glasses full-time, you just look weird without them...bc they draw your attention and change how your face looks.

I'm sure I'll adjust eventually... people can't see me in them. But why struggle to see or have weak eye sight when I'm alone in my room or in a dark car.

I'd also like to say if Elise were to show up on my stream as long as she doesn't open the chat box her name will never show up on my end.... ever. But if she were to click the chat box and never type a word, I would know she was there.

[papa-1-rights-activist]

Could you tell us some things about your characters?

thank you so much for this ask :D sorry for such a late response, but ngl i got very excited and started writing shit down as soon as i saw it, but then it turned into an entire essay and i had to cut down a ton of stuff until i decided to write it in a list of some sort kjhgkjfgkfg

currently i have like 11 fan characters in total so i will start with 4 to not infodump too much at a time

and i’ll admit that literally all of these guys were made for shipping purposes, but they all have different personalities and dynamics with canon characters. i’m such a sucker for writing couples, so many things to explore, that’s like my favourite thing ;w;

it got very long so imma put it under the cut \o/ (hopefully it works bc tumblr has been pretty unpredictable lately)

sorry if it’s probably way more than just “some things” but i couldn’t help it, i just love these guys so much and i don’t get to talk about them often u v u

e n j o y ~

imma start with the one you guys are more familiar with

Lucas

one of the cardinals in Ghost’s church

Mexican

in his late 40s (like 46-47)

hardworking, ambitious

pretty composed

huge „your teacher from english class who’s also a dad” energies

his character can be summed up to, as someone has said, „he’d kindly but sternly correct your shitty posture”

currently takes the 3rd place of most „best employee of the month” awards (Copia is 4th at that time)

he and Copia start off as rivals for the 2nd place (bc no one can beat whoever is the 1st)

but wouldn’t you guessed it, they end up dating

Lucas has a fair collection of various rodents, including rats. Actually, he’s the one who infected Copia with love for them. Luc prefers ferrets (that’s a rodent right kjhfgkjgh)

he doesn’t really get angry, but when he does he really goes off

he writes poetry, which is actually very, very bad, but Copia loves it to bits which makes Luc feel validated to write more

because his language is so similar to italian, Lucas can implement a lot of spanish into his conversations with Copia, while the other will reply in italian and they will still understand each other (ofc there are some exceptions that result in miscommunication, but that just makes it all more fun)

Copia shared with him that he’s writing music for his album (even tho he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone) and Lucas was more than happy to help him in the process…which was mostly moral support and a few suggestions.

he loves calling Copia “cariño”, “mi amorcito”, “mi alegría” and other cute names in spanish

once Lucas mentioned he used to play flute and Copia immediately decided to include a flute solo in one of his songs, so Luc could play it. Unfortunately things didn’t go as he planned and he had to change it to sax solo

The thing about Lucas is that Imperator sees him as a threat. She’s been plotting with Copia to get him to papacy for a long time, but in the end she isn’t the one who decides who will be in charge, so Copia has to work hard to deserve it. He was already a hard worker, but unfortunately Lucas works harder. It creates this dillema for Copia, bc on one hand he does want to become Papa and in order to do that he has to get rid off competition. But on the other he loves Lucas and he wants what’s best for him.

(i’ll probably post the pic above in a separate post with other doodles, i just wanted to show sth new and relevant)

Elise & Greg

Imma put these two together bc it’s impossible to talk about one without the other.

they work together in a company that takes art commisions such as paintings & murals and their restorations. They’re both pretty skilled in those departments, except Elise specialises in art restoration while Greg specialises in murals and frescos. And ofc one day they’re hired by the church.

they’re both pretty good at painting (but the thing about restoration is that you don’t have to be a great artist to do that, it has more to do with chemistry tbh)

They live together and have been very good friends for a few years now

they both went through some traumatic events in their lives, but maybe i’ll leave that part for another day (or i’ll leave it in my fanfic they’re from that i need to finish ;w;)

they’re very supportive of each other, but also they like to mess with one another

their chat is filled with horny texts about other people

Elise

34 years old

British

a bit awkward, tends to stutter when nervous

very sweet overall, feels the need to be everyone’s therapist

autistic, which shows mostly through her sensitivity to certain textures

hates onions (bc the texture is awful)

gets very emotional very quickly when she sees cute animals. She will use her baby talk to speak with them (which is sth that Copia does too with his rats and once he catches her doing that as well, he feels less embarrased about it)

Cirrus was the first one from the church to actually talk to her and show her around, making her feel a bit more welcome in an unfamiliar place

she talks through her sleep. A lot. Copia finds it very amusing…and adorable.

she discovers that Papa III has fallen hard for her friend way before he himself realises that, but then she’s also the kind of person to not see her own feelings for someone

she finds working on restoration quite relaxing. It’s sth she can fixate over and do for hours (even tho it’s not recommended)

a bit of a workaholic

another thing she finds relaxing is sitting in a corner somewhere warm and doodling people she sees around the abbey (mostly those she finds attractive lol so mostly Cirrus and Copia)

eventually ends up with Copia and Cirrus in a poly relationship

she also finds Cumulus cute, but the ghoulette isn’t interested in another romantic relationship. the one she has with Cirrus is enough for her.

Elise’s relationship with Copia is basically two dorks trying to impress the other while trying not to be too obvious about it, while her relationship with Cirrus is bisexual equivalent of „shy nerd has a crush on a cool girl leading the cheerleaders squad and shopes she doesn’t know. She knows.”

(had to doodle sth real quick bc i can’t believe that i don’t have a single good pic of him lol)

Greg

37 years old

Polish (bc ofc he is)

pretty stoic, might come off as cold

he gives cute nicknames to people he likes (in polish ofc)

he’s actually pretty cheesy and wholesome, but you wouldn’t know that bc he shows his affection through a language that no one understands (which is what he wants, he doesn’t want others to know he actually cares)

has some trust issues, so it’s harder for him to become friends with people

huge Scorpions fan. no, like really, he’s obsessed and will share his music taste with whoever will listen (which is mostly Eli and Papa III lol)

knows a few words in italian, but mostly those related to art after he’s been studying it for a few years. He doesn’t speak it, but he can read it.

he owns a guitar signed by Kirk Hammett (his musical crush)

he’s the kind of guy who will call the person he likes „my dear”, „my love”, „sweet pea” in his mother language and then tell that person it means „dickhead”, „loser” and „lazy ass”

his stay at the abbey is just laying under the ceiling and doing fresco for most of the day, visiting Elise in her art studio and dealing with Papa’s bullshit

Papa eventually starts coming up to lay beside Greg on the construction and watch him work. They tend to just lay in silence while a mix of Scorpions and ABBA plays from the radio. There’s barely any space for a second person, but Greg would lie if he said he didn’t find it endearing.

one time Greg fell off the construction and broke his leg bc of that dumbass (but it’s his dumbass uwu)

anyway he eventually starts dating Papa III

Papa purrs to Greg in italian and Greg speaks sweet words to him in polish (tho it took him a lot of time to get comfortable with that)

their relationship is your typical „1 brain cell and 1 dumbass” and under certain circumstances simply „2 disastrous dumbasses”

they once burnt down Elise’s apartment on accident and the only things they managed to save were the art supplies and Greg’s guitar

anyway

here are these guys in comparison to their partners in this silly style, bc all the other drawings are outdated ;w;

Melea

45 years old

American

fashion designer commissioned byt the Ghost’s church

huge fan of old rock

for a long time her relationship with Papa III was purely professional. He came to her studio, she took some measurements, they discussed what he would like and then he left and they didn’t see each other until the next meeting to try the outfit on, to make some changes, or for another project.

well that is until she asked him to stop putting his face paint on so he wouldn’t ruin the fabrics

i share this popular headcanon that Papa III is pretty self conscious about his clean face, so it was kind of hard to convince him at first

eventually their sessions became that much more personal because of that

she’s a bit superstitious, believing that some things may cause bad luck

collects crystals with good energy

she’s in a way a modern witch…but it’s not like she tries to be one

knows french fairly well, which allows her to talk to Papa (who also speaks it) when they don’t want others to understand them.

huge mum energy

loooves watching conspiracy theories. Sometimes she will pick one of the more ridiculous ones during her sessions with Papa and will argue and try to convince him it’s true, making it seem like she fully believes it, even if she doesn’t – just to fuck with him

and a few times she actually did convince him. Then had to tell him she wasn’t serious and oh my god the millenials aren’t killing the pillow industry by going vegan

anyway at some point they start dating which eventually leads to them getting married ;w;

her relationship with Papa is very soft and romantic. they have the same energy as Morticia and Gomez in regard of how loving they are to each other

also some chibis of these two bc again, all the other drawings are a bit outdated ;w;

[ukulelekatie]

The Sappy CarmillaCon Appreciation Post You’ve All Been Waiting For

It’s been a week since CarmillaCon, so now that I’ve had some time to relfect, it’s time to share my recap of the convention. Buckle up, creampuffs—this is gonna get long and emotional. 

Wow, where do I even begin with this? Perhaps at the beginning would be ideal. I remember, over a year ago, when CarmillaCon was just a hypothetical. A simple “We need a Carmilla con.” Watching it unfold over time was such a journey, and it’s incredible to look back on that moment and know how things turned out. 

Last weekend was a weekend of firsts for me. As a convention newbie, all my previous knowledge of how conventions worked was all learned through secondhand accounts of other cons. It was also my first time planning an entire trip and traveling by myself. And let me tell you, I was nervous. But my trip to Toronto, especially CarmillaCon, turned out to be such an overwhelmingly positive experience. And from the people I’ve spoken to, that sounds like a common theme. Everyone involved in the planning process should be very proud of their achievements.

And now is the part where I give some shoutouts to the people who made CarmillaCon the spectacular time it was.

Natasha Negovanlis. I don’t know anyone who puts as much love and care into getting to know their fans as much as Natasha does. And she remembers so many details about each of us! I’m always impressed by that. She truly makes everyone feel special and loved, whether she’s meeting you for the millionth time or the first.

Elise Bauman. I’ve heard dozens of people talk about how easy it is to interact with Elise, but getting to experience it for myself was an entirely different level. Her meet & greet felt like chatting with a long-time friend. She’s so genuine, quirky, and downright hilarious.

Kaitlyn Alexander was just as excited to meet their fans as we were to meet them, and that is so beautiful. I also really admire them for working through social anxiety and talking openly about it, because it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in feeling anxious. They deserve all the good things.

Annie Briggs is absolutely SAVAGE. She goes from talking profoundly and professionally to dropping the most absurd and crass quips. Quite literally the embodiment of the “hi sir nice to meet you”/“your daughter calls me daddy too” meme.

Nicole Stamp is an incredibly sweet person, and I admire her so much for her friendliness and ability to make everyone around her feel appreciated. We ran into her in passing a few times, and even when she was in a hurry to get somewhere, she still stopped and said hi.

Matt O’Connor is a real sweetheart, and during my autograph we talked about his trip to Boston last year. I love being able to connect with the actors over personal details like that! Also, his Carmilla impression in the cast panel was hysterical!

Sharon Belle’s ability to just be goofy is so precious! I would totally watch a spin-off of Danny solving petty crimes and returning lost library books. 

Aaron Chartrand seems so nice and thoughtful, and an all around cool guy. I wish I had interacted with him more during the con!

The Carmilla Creators. Jordan, Ellen, Steph, and Melanie (and Spencer, in spirit) are legends, y’all. Everything they said in the Creators Panel was super empowering, and I left feeling inspired to create and tell my original stories to the world.  And of course, getting to chat about fandom and fanfiction with Steph and Ellen at the Fanfic Meetup was wonderful! The thing that makes Carmilla so unique is that its creators are privy to the world of fandom, having participated in it themselves, which allows them to really know their audience and tell us the stories we want and need.

The Moderators: Dana, Belinda, and Angie made the panels so entertaining and so unique! They are an integral part of this fandom, and I loved getting to witness their shenanigans in person.

The CarmillaCon Staff and Volunteers were just lovely! I applaud them for how smoothly everything ran, and for how much thought the organizers put into the logistics. I swear they thought of everything! Writing down your names on sticky notes before autographs so the guests can spell your name correctly. Ensuring that the convention was accessible. Making sure none of the panels coflicted with autos, photos, and meet & greets. Placing the vendor tables right outside the panel room to get us as much exposure as possible. It’s one thing to listen to feedback from your own convention’s attendees after the matter, but it’s another to listen to the greater fandom community’s experiences with other cons and be proactive. Any time I had a question or issue leading up to and during the con, I was assisted quickly and compassionately. Everyone was also extremely generous! Several staff members gave out extra autographs and photos to attendees throughout the event, which I loved.

The Vendors—I greatly enjoyed spending time with them! This was my first ever convention both as a fan AND as an artist, so I really appreciated learning from them and being able to support each other. I’d also like to give a shoutout to @learntodefygravity for becoming my assistant and running my table when I was participating in other parts of the con.

Everyone who stopped by my table! Whether you were there to get something or just to chat, you really made my weekend. I’m still so full of feels from all the sweet things everyone said about me and my art last week. Sometimes it’s difficult to take myself seriously—I often feel like I’m not a “real” artist because I draw primarily fanart, and for such a tiny community of people at that. But my CarmillaCon experience proved to me that there is an audience for my art, and I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting me over the past 4+ years. And yes, there will be more art in the future! I’m working on setting up an Etsy store as well as researching how to print my own lenticular bookmarks since the ones I brought were so popular! I’ll keep you all updated.

All the friends I spent time with. Some of you I’ve spoken to online every day for the past year. Others, I’ve interacted with occasionally on twitter or discord. A few of you I had never spoken to directly until the con. No matter what category you fell under, it was a pleasure to get to spend time with you, and I miss you all so much. Why do you have to live so far away from me? Why isn’t teleporting a thing yet?! (What I wouldn’t give for another minty group hug right about now.)

And lastly, thank you to everyone. Despite how much I fangirl about it online, I’m not one to talk openly about Carmilla and how much it means to me outside of the internet. I’m afraid of being judged for loving it too much. But this past weekend I got to meet several hundred people who are just as passionate as I am about the little webseries that could, and I’m so grateful for that opportunity. I’m not alone, and I never was. This fandom has helped me step out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I may be outgoing and outspoken online, but take me our from behind a screen and I’m very shy and self conscious. Just two years ago, taking public transportation alone in my own city seemed scary to me, but last week I had the courage to travel on my own and experience new things. I thought I would be overwhelmed and anxious all through CarmillaCon, but the second I found my people, I felt comforted and energized. I’ve grown so much over the years, and I owe a lot of that progress to the fandom and the encouragement I’ve received. You’ve all been by my side and helped me grow up and grow into myself. Here’s to Carmilla, and here’s to the creampuffs!

[2paperairplanesswift]

Once upon a time a 17 year old English girl fell in love with a talented but relatively unknown country singer by the name of Taylor Swift. PLOT TWIST: 11 years later she is one of the most successful artists in history and I just spent my Friday night hanging out with her at her house. Wanna know how this happened? I'm going to tell you my story. Get yourself comfy (maybe some cocoa or a nice sweater) and listen up.  I don't claim to be the biggest Taylor Swift fan in the world, but like every Swiftie I would always like to think I am. I have loved Taylor for longer than I can remember and one of my biggest dreams in life has always been to meet her.  On 3rd October 2017 I woke up around 5am as I do every morning, and I turned off my alarm and turned my internet on. I had a few notifications, Facebook messenger, twitter, tumblr....but then there was a DM? I never get twitter DM's, I'm not remotely interesting enough for anyone to want to speak to me, so who was this messaging me? Half asleep and with my eyes still adjusting to the light I opened the DM screen and saw the words 'Taylor Nation'. My whole body froze...that's not what is says is it? I rubbed my eyes and looked again...it was. I clicked on the message and read it quickly. I didn't really take it in, something about a Confidential Event. I dropped my phone onto my chest and looked at the ceiling trying to take in what I had just read. Was I having another Taylor dream ? Somehow I knew I wasn't - the last Taylor dream I had we were eating banana splits in an old railway carriage turned into a diner...i don't even like bananas. Somehow this seemed more plausible.  I closed twitter and decided to ignore it for a second and look at my other notifications. There was a facebook message from my Swiftie friend Bethy telling me to have a good day and reminding me to keep my DMs on....wait, she had one to? I replied back saying 'I have, you too?' and for a solid hour we were messaging eachother in code without either of us admitting what we had received in text...but we both knew.  I sent my details over to Taylor Nation and tried to get ready for work...putting my jeans on back to front, loading the laundry into the machine without adding the washing liquid, walking around my house doing things which usually came naturally but for some reason took extra effort and concentration...something I was lacking.  It was another 10 hours before my DM was replied to saying they would contact me soon. Soon? How soon is soon? Bethy and I continued talking to eachother imagining what it could be. Would we be in a live stream? A music video? Are we being invited to a show? An interview? In the back of our minds we wanted it to be a secret session but it wouldn't be would it? People like us with a handful of followers whose idea of a great Friday night is to play Yahtzee while listening to Taylor Swift on repeat wouldn't get invited, would we?  Luckily soon was only 3 hours and I got a call from a New York number. I was at my parents house so I ran up the stairs to take the call. Some other Swiftie friends in a group chat were messaging me about stuff and I was trying to pick up but notifications were sending my phone into meltdown. Eventually I managed to pick up...then hang up on Taylor Nation. Yes, I hung up on Taylor Swift's management group!!! (Sorry Ali).  I tried to call back but it went to voice mail, so I sent them a DM and went for a wee. Ali called me again while I was on the toilet so I was nervously trying to finish peeing and then ran out to the top of the stairs to take the call. The signal in my parents house was awful and I kept shouting 'huh' and 'hello?' down the phone but Ali was so lovely. She told me I had been picked to be invited to a special event because I was a super fan and I could bring a +1. I knew Bethy was already going and I made a pact with Megan if ever we had an opportunity to meet Taylor we would take eachother. I hastily gave her Megan's details and then passed Alex's on to Bethy for her call before screaming at Alex to keep 13th October clear (for the record he is so difficult). On top of this I was also on holiday that day and so going to this event also meant cutting my holiday short...but this was Taylor Swift!  I found out on Sunday 8th October that we had to meet at a hotel and would be shuttled to the location via bus. Unfortunately my bladder condition flared up on 10th October and I nervously contacted Taylor Nation for details of restroom facilities, scared I wouldn't be able to go. I cried as I waited for an email back but Taylor Nation were so lovely....you could tell they worked for Taylor. I went to the local Dr on holiday and got antibiotics and instructions for bedrest for the 2 days before the event.  My bladder was still bad by early morning day of the event but luckily started clearing up as I travelled from Devon to London.  The day of the event we all met up at Waterloo Station in London before travelling to the hotel where we needed to meet Taylor Nation. I was so nervous that everything was going wrong and had been in so much pain and in denial I was going to be well enough to go that I couldn't believe it was happening.  On the way from the tube to the hotel we saw a funeral directors with 4 gravestones in the window - were they for us when Taylor killed us with her music? A bus went past...the number 13? So typically Taylor!  We arrived at the hotel and checked in. Taylor Nation were in the lobby (we didn't know it was them). The receptionist asked if we were going to the knitting convention? I was confused...was this a cover story? All I kept thinking was 'I knit sweaters yo'....'no, we are going to meet some friends' we told them.  We went upstairs to our room to get ready and when came down we didn't know where to go. There seemed to be some type of line forming around the building and the sheer quantity of red lipstick and floaty dresses told me we were in the right place.  We checked in with Taylor Nation and as I gave Elise my ID she said she liked my passport cover. It's a picture of Taylor with 'grab your passport and my hand' written on it. She confirmed with me that she was the one I had been emailing and I thanked her for her help. I then signed a NDA and got my really cool wristband which has 'United Kingdom' in reputation font on it. And then we headed downstairs to wait for the bus.  I was on bus number 3/4 with Megan- Alex and Bethy had already gone on bus 2. I sat right behind the driver and he had his Satnav programmed with 3 different routes. He took the first route to somewhere random, loaded the second route and followed it, then loaded the third. It was clear he was trying to throw us off. As we entered part of the neighbourhood I felt very out of place. The cars had personalised plates, the houses were getting bigger, the hustle and bustle of London life seemed to getting further in the distance.  Suddenly the bus stopped in front of a beautiful house...this was it...this was Taylor's house? We were escorted off the bus and down to the side door which lead to a basement. The carpets were bouncy and the soundproof walls were so soft. We waited patiently for a few minutes and then suddenly the door opened and I caught a glimpse of a canvas of the New York skyline....this IS Taylor's house.  We were taken up the stairs to a central entrance hall with a staircase leading up to the top of the house and a corridor towards a large group of people with music playing - her Spotify playlist. The party was in the kitchen. Megan and I walked in to the kitchen, everything was so perfect. Ice buckets full of cans of soda and water, the best chicken bites I have ever tasted, cheese, vegetables and dip, reputation m&ms and cookies with REP on. There was so much I couldn't even see it all. We spotted our friend Bethy over in the corner by the French doors and headed over to speak to her. As we got there so did Scott Swift....the total legend and biggest fangirl ever. I told him I had briefly seen him in Nashville for 1989 and be told me the Mick Jagger story...the same one Taylor tells in interviews. Word for word and he beamed with pride as he told us stories about Taylor. There I was on a Friday night in Taylor Swift's house talking to her dad about 2 megastars as if we were all old friends. And he was really interested in us, not just polite conversation but so enthralled that we loved his daughter as much as he did. True to Scott Swift fashion he gave us some guitar picks as me made his way onto the next group.  I asked Alex where the toilet was and he took me out to the corridor...which hid a restroom behind huge grey panels. It was the nicest smelling toilet I have ever been in...and I have been in a lot! As I sat there peeing in Taylor's toilet and looking at the Jo Malone candle burning by the sink I wondered...how did I get here? Shortly after I left the toilet we were ushered across the entrance hall to a huge rectangular room. Opposite the door were large windows covered over by drapes and a single armchair - Taylor's seat. The floor was adorned with cushion after cushion and Megan and I ran to the closest cushion to Taylor. Megan sat right in front of her and I squeezed in behind. This was a SECRET SESSION!!!! A few minutes later I looked behind as the door opened and in walked a real angel to a round of screams and claps- red lips, natural 'I've just washed it' curly hair, snake boots and a huge smile. She sat down in front of us on the seat and said 'Hi I'm Taylor'. Just like at tour, only this time not to 70,000...to just 100.  And then the mystery was revealed. Taylor Nation hadn't just randomly picked us off of various social media sites - we had been hand selected by Taylor herself who had stalked us for over a year and sent TN our profiles to invite us. It hit me...Taylor picked me?!?! The woman I have been 'stalking' for 11 years had been stalking me too? Out of all the fans in Europe I was one she wanted to meet. I don't think that will ever fully sink in.  Taylor played us her album, telling us little stories about each song - the inspiration, the recording processes, the reactions from friends and family. It was so much to take in but watching Taylor mouth along to the words, act out different expressions and sitting-dance to all of the songs was hilarious - I wasn't in the presence of a celebrity, I was sitting with my best friend appreciating the biggest achievement she will ever have - true happiness. Taylor Swift is truly happy, about life, about her music, about her fans and it is nothing short of magical.  As each song played I really wondered how Taylor could top it, but she did...over and over again. Time went so quickly and it felt like the world's biggest and best slumber party, except we didn't get to sleep over.  At one point it was so hot that Scott Swift had to open all the doors to let the air in. As Taylor played his favourite song from the album she called for him to come and listen and he made a joke that he was actually handing out guitar picks to the neighbours.  After Taylor finished playing the album I looked around. Everyone was so Wonderstruck by what they had heard and I looked at Taylor and she looked so content. I don't know whether she was worried by what our reactions would be but all we had for this album was love...and I hope Taylor knows that.  After the listening session we were handed copies of the reputation magazines while we were waiting for photos. Megan and I were some of the first to go in. I was so focused on getting to the event that I hadn't even thought about what to say. Taylor ran over to Megan and hugged her and started talking about her bright pink hair. She loved it and it had been distracting her all evening. Then Taylor hugged me and I hugged her back like I had never hugged anyone before. She was so tall like a giraffe but with the grace of a swan...and I was me. I whispered 'thank you for inviting me' and she smiled. I didn't want to let go. As so many people were waiting they sort of rushed us with a picture. Taylor grabbed hold of us with her arms around our shoulders and smiled so sincerely at the camera. I wanted to talk to Taylor as I didn't get a chance but we were ushered off. As Megan walked out front if me I went to turn and talk to Taylor when Megan suddenly shouted 'we went to Nashville'. Taylor screamed back excitedly 'I know' with the biggest smile on her face. So...I didn't get to talk to Taylor but she knew we went to Nashville. She really did stalk me. When we left the room we were greeted by Mama Swift. I told her about my mum being terminally ill with Cancer and how she had gotten test results that day but she wanted me to be with Taylor instead. She gave me an extra hug and told me to hug my mum for her. I told my mum later and she started crying. Someone she has never met wished her well...it isn't just Taylor, it is her whole family.  We were taken back to the basement to collect Merch bags with a T-shirt, hat, sticker, pop socket and exclusive secret sessions keyring. It was so lovely of Taylor to give us something more to remember the day.  I got the bus back to the hotel and sat talking to Ali the whole way about the album and Nashville....I may have also invited her to CMA fest next year. By the time I got back to the hotel and collected my belongings (which had been taken from us earlier) I was shattered but I couldn't sleep. I posted on twitter and suddenly my phone couldn't stop vibrating...thousands of retweets and likes. I sat there trying to figure out what happened but I'm still not even sure I believe it myself. It took me 2 whole days to cry...not because I didn't care but because this wasn't the norm. I had stood outside countless radio stations and events before and not met Taylor...I had cried. I had come away from concerts and not been picked for Loft or Club Red etc and cried...but this was different. Not only had I met Taylor, she had picked me. I couldn't cry...I just felt a sense of fulfillment, of achievement, of love. By the time I did cry if wasn't because of what happened; it was because I missed her.  But this is not the end of my story with Taylor...I feel like this is the start of a new chapter. I came away with a whole mind of memories and countless new friends - affectionately known as FANtom Squad. Friday 13 October was the best night of my life; I will never be able to thank Taylor enough and I'll probably never have a chance to say what I wanted to say. But after years of hiding it & toning down this side of my life to please people I can honestly I am not ashamed of who I am because who I am is exactly how @taylorswift likes me. 

[abiteofnat]

NYC? NYFEEDME... 

Because if there’s one thing NYC is good at, it’s making sure my bottomless pit of a stomach is consistently full of something tastyyy. As well as beautiful. They are the epitome of making food into an art and waste no time or money with creative executions of something as simple as “cookie dough” (more on that later). A couple weeks ago I went to NYC as a part of a) finding a smart-kid college for my smart-kid sister and b) due to a standing family vacation reservation that fit in nicely to part “a” so after my donut-filled Syracuse excursion we bopped on down to Midtown! There was the glitz n’ fake glamour of NYC just blocks away in Times Square, but we tucked away in the 1 Hotel on 6th which has become a second home of sorts. While it’s strangely organic and it all smells like wood and hemp, it’s a literal oasis from the trashbag-lined streets and taxis honking and honking (and honking). Do NOT get me wrong, I ADORE New York. I live for the salty street pretzels and the iced coffee at every deli and the need to just live it up there constantly. But I’m a Chicago girl, midwestern to the bone and Jesus I thought I might have a better fate in store but it appears I’m baseball and cheese fries until I die. 

Give me ten days in that wild city though and I will make them my bitch! Since I’d only ever spent 48 hours at a time in NYC many times a year in the past few years, and still managed to consume most of the island I was concerned as to how I would fare. I’d say thankfully we as a family eat pretty healthy and my one friend I stayed with is a ~vegan~ and the other one is a marathon runner with a taste for really really good carbs, so damage was light. I’ve rounded up my tippity-top spots for grub worth taking one to one million photos of and I hope you get to go try them all, because I’m a creature of habit and rarely wine n dine somewhere once so I’ll see you around! 

1. BLUESTONE LANE! 

This cafe was one of my sister’s finds, and still one of my favorites to look back on! Elise isn’t usually one to choose where we dine, but we all needed coffee and a breakfast that wasn’t bagels on bagels (which would be my choice if it was my turn to choose breakfast) and she pointed us to a little funky-chic cafe called Bluestone Lane, an Australian chain dotted across NYC. The location we went to was on 5th Ave (2 E 90th ST for the exact address) and was attached to a gorgeous old church, the seating within some of the re-done structure with tables spilling out onto the scenic sidewalk. Bluestone offers a “reasonably” priced, health-oriented menu that’s somewhat Cali and somewhat NYC-foodie-on-a-mission-for-THE-PIC. I was beyond thrilled to get to shoot this food- we ate at a table right inside the doors between the beautiful stone walls which meant natural, warm light and perfect people watching. 

What we ate: the BIRCHER MUESLI STOLE THE SHOW. With creamy oats, crisp apples, quinoa for texture and health benefits, and seasonal berries + fruits it was a killer combo of filling and still light in the stomach. The homemade banana bread (gluten free!) with ricotta and fruit is a great sharing plate which is exactly what we did, and added something sweet and heavier to everyone’s meals. The avocado smash was beautifully composed “On Balthazar toast with tahini, heirloom cherry tomatoes, feta, sunflower sprouts & e.v.o.o” (from website) and could have been the full meal if we came an hour later. For a breakfast/brunch/lunch date, this is the place. You want to sip their scrumptious espresso and fragrant, rich chai over the colorful food and chat forever in these walls. And guess what? The Guggenheim Museum is right next door, which is exactly where we went after this meal. How perfect is that? 

2. DOUGH!

So my mom loves donuts. As in donuts are worth twenty minutes to find parking for, legit anger if they are sold out, real old school donut appreciation level of love. This is something I love deeply about her and why I can always count on a “yes” upon a donut excursion request, and while in NYC it’s a m u s t to go to Dough. These big ole fluffy fuckers are too good to skip, and given there’s plenty of flashy, over-the-top donuts to be found on Instagram I can’t praise Dough enough. These are bigger than your hand but weigh less than a baby bunny, and the flavors do nothing but enhance the sweet, airy dough you can watch being hand-fried in the back baking room through a glass wall. My favorite one to date is the Blood Orange donut coated in the prettiest pink glaze and donning a dried orange slice, and it’s tangy and flavorful and citrusy without being sickeningly sweet. 

The other front runners are the chocolate-hazelnut and the lemon poppyseed which tastes like a much less buttery version of lemon poppyseed pound cake and instead would make a lovely breakfast pastry. While Dough is small and there isn’t much open seating since it’s ~always~ full of people eating a donut with fork and knife, my family grouped up by the window and shared donuts with chocolaty fingers and smiles galore. Can’t frown when you’re eating a donut unless you’re a miserable person! 

There she is, the Blood Orange baddie calling my name. I’ll be back, my sweet. 

3. TOBY’S ESTATE COFFEE

What’s a family vacation in my family without copious coffee??? Seeing as donuts and 3 p.m. always call for caffeine, we wandered around the Flatiron District where Dough is located and found this little coffee shop that’s Brooklyn originated and very very cute. They take coffee seriously so don’t expect grande sizes, but do expect major taste. Bonus? It’s attached to a boutique bookstore so you can sip and shop (but do NOT SPILL). I got a mocha and it was rich, delicious, and also very expensive. That’s what good espresso (cough cough not Starbucks) will cost you. 

4. DŌ, Cookie Dough Confections

That’s right, another “dough”! There’s a theme here of trendy sweet treats and this one certainly takes the... dough. Made famous through social media and the 2017 “need” for colorful and unique foodie experiences, DŌ offers a variety of cookie dough flavors all entirely safe to eat either in a cup or a cone quite like an ice cream store! I turned 22 during our trip and this was my pick for birthday breakfast because what adult doesn’t want to turn 22 while eating a scoop of oatmeal and M&M cookie dough that comes in a PINK CONE?!?!? I may be getting old and gross, but my stomach is still a dessert-driven child. I literally only eat my vegetables so we can get to the real stuff. 

We came at a great time- given the fact it’s such a destination spot there can be up to a 2+ hour wait (!!!) so we got there bright n’ early at 10 a.m. and there were enough people to feel cool but not too many people that I was like weneedtoleaverightnowfuckthedough. Mom got the chocolate chip dough on a chocolate chip cone, Elise got the plain ole sugar cookie, and my dad nibbled on a little of it all which was impressive since his sweet tooth is nonexistent. I guess when you don’t have a birthday cake there are no candles, right? NAH. THIS PLACE HAS IT ALL. We got some candles and stuck em right in there. 

And the fact we had leftovers to eat during intermission at “Kinky Boots” on Broadway that night when we were taking a break from salivating over Brendan Urie? PERFECTO. Brendan and DŌ. A winning combo and making me feel real good about 22 so far. 

5. SANCTUARY T! 

HA as if the birthday eating ended there. I planned weeks and weeks ahead to have dinner at Sanctuary T on my birthday, as it’s one of my absolute favorite restaurants in the world, and my mom dragged her heels for a while asking if I was “entirely sure I did not want to try somewhere NEW and FRESH” and I stayed strong because Sanc T is my bliss. She regretted that resistance when we sat down in the fucking cute Free People photoshoot setting of this place and got a rose on happy hour, and when the food was brought to the table I pondered how is this place not on every foodie list because it’s all just so GOOD. The truffle-Caesar kale salad is incredible, as the kale is crunchy and earthy which plays off the strong smooth linger of the truffle dressing, and the fish tacos are fried to perfection and topped with pickled root veggies. The fries (also on happy hour!) come with -surprise- truffle aioli, and they are the best fries in NYC. I’m just going to go ahead and make that claim. The burrata was thick but silky and on homemade bread with some olive oil it was straight s-e-x. Slippery and salty and best with an alcoholic drink in arm’s reach.  

There’s nothing bad on this menu. Nothing. So go H A M and eat it allllllll up. It’s in SoHo so it’s a great area to walk around before or after dinner, with amazing classic New York architecture and picturesque streets. Make sure to hit up the Brandy Melville nearby and scoot over to MarieBelle for after-dinner hot chocolate and sweets. 

That will do it for part one of “Natalie Eats NYC”, part two will be up in a couple days!!! While I can write forever, I don’t think y’all want to read forever. So I’ve chunked it up. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[living-the-fastlife]

Another year has come and gone and what better way to wrap up the year than with this End of Year Survey, created by Jamie @ Perpetual Page Turner. 

Number of books I read:

Number of rereads: Sadly I only managed to fit in one reread, A Darker Shade of Magic.

Genre I read the most from: Contemporary (a surprise since Fantasy has always been my most read genre in years past)

1. BEST BOOK I READ IN 2016:

Top 3 A Gathering of Shadows by V. E. Schwab Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo The Hard Count by Ginger Scott. 

2. BOOK I WAS EXCITED ABOUT AND THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOVE MORE BUT DIDN’T

Riders wasn’t a pure disappointment but I did expect more. The book served as a nice introduction to the world and I’m hoping it’s sequel can elaborate on some aspects. 

3. MOST SURPRISING (IN A GOOD OR BAD WAY) BOOK I READ

The Weight of Feathers. I knew it was a Romeo and Juliet inspired magical realism tale but I wasn’t expecting it to be so beautiful. The writing was captivating, the characters were fascinating and the book really explored the beauty in the simplicity. 

4. BOOK I PUSHED THE MOST PEOPLE TO READ (AND THEY DID)

I’ll Meet You There is the one book that I will always push onto people and I am happy to see that some people have picked up this beauty of a book. 

5. BEST SERIES I STARTED IN 2016? BEST SEQUEL OF 2016? BEST SERIES ENDER OF 2016?

Best Series Started: Nevernight by Jay Kristoff Best Sequel: A Gathering of Shadows by V. E. Schwab Best Series Ender: Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

6. FAVOURITE NEW AUTHOR I DISCOVERED IN 2016

Sarina Bowen. I completely devoured her True North series. Great characters that I could easily realate to, swoony romances and a great exploration of multitude of themes e.g. drug addiction.

7. BEST BOOK FROM A GENRE I DON’T TYPICALLY READ/WAS OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

This was the year for Sports Contemporary books. I’m not one to read a lot of New Adult books but the little corner I’ve discovered in Sports contemporary novels has provided some of the funniest and addictive books I’ve ever read. I’m definitely a fan of this genre. 

8. MOST ACTION-PACKED/THRILLING/UNPUTDOWNABLE BOOK OF THE YEAR

Crooked Kingdom. Can I just use this book for every question? This book was so worth all of the sleep I sacrificed. Filled with an intricate plot, unpredictable plot twists and incredibly character insights, Crooked Kingdom was hands down the most addictive book I read in 2016. 

9. BOOK I READ IN 2016 THAT I’M MOST LIKELY TO REREAD NEXT YEAR

Wolf by Wolf by Ryan Graudin. While I’m still heartbroken over the events of it’s sequel, Wolf by Wolf was another addictive read. I love the cross continental setting and the underlying themes of identity and fascinating characters were an added bonus. 

10. FAVOURITE COVER OF A BOOK I READ IN 2016

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Nevernight. I loved the book and the cover, red sprayed edges and just the entire design of the book is beautiful. The maps are my favourite part though.

11. MOST MEMORABLE CHARACTER OF 2016

The Bastard of the Barrel aka Dirtyhands aka Kaz Brekker. What can I say that hasn’t already been said about this man. He is ruthless, greedy and has a penchant for violence and chaos. However, he’s also a man full of grief and complex layers and would crawl to the edge of the earth to get his Wraith back. Every single character in this series were an absolute delight to read about. 

12. MOST BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN BOOK READ IN 2016

Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta. It doesn’t have a flowery prose or anything fancy. Most wouldn’t name this book as their most beautifully written but the simplicity of the book is what makes it so effective in portraying the affects of depression on a family. 

13. MOST THOUGHT-PROVOKING/LIFE-CHANGING BOOK OF 2016

I wouldn’t call it a life changing book but Salt to the Sea definitely had a huge impact on me. To think that this maritime tragedy has gone overlooked when an estimate of 9000 lives were claimed by the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff is unbelievable. It definitely sheds a light on such a monumental event and further highlights the horrors of war.

14. BOOK I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAITED UNTIL 2016 TO FINALLY READ

Half a King by Joe Abercrombie. This is my kind of fantasy. The plot follow the typical fantasy trajectory but its the characters that makes this book so incredible. This is the ultimate underdog story and the representation of women is phenomenal.

15. FAVOURITE PASSAGE/QUOTE FROM A BOOK I READ IN 2016

“Maybe there were people who lived those lives. Maybe this girl was one of them. But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren’t chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.” – Crooked Kingdom, Leigh Bardugo

16. SHORTEST AND LONGEST BOOK I READ IN 2016

17. BOOK THAT SHOCKED ME THE MOST

Blood for Blood by Ryan Graudin. I should have seen this coming but it doesn’t mean I wanted it to happen. This event was shocking and gut-wrenching and I’m still so bitter about it. That moment hurt!

18. OTP OF THE YEAR (I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP!)

Shazi x Khalid, The Wrath and the Dawn duology. This is my kind of romance. The swoon levels were off the charts in this series. Why? Because of the respect shown between Shazi and Khalid. They are equals in every possible way and the maturity of their relationship was incredible.

19. FAVOURITE NON-ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP OF THE YEAR

Kate and August, This Savage Song. A most unlikely friendship but one that definitely kept me on the edge. These two were on the run for most of the book and along the way they both learn to embrace parts of themselves they’ve tried to deny for so long. 

20. FAVOURITE BOOK I READ IN 2016 FROM AN AUTHOR I’VE READ PREVIOUSLY

The Unexpected Everything by Morgan Matson. My go-to contemporary author. Her books always deliver and as always the delicate balance between the friendship, romantic and family dynamics were greatly established.

21. BEST BOOK I READ IN 2016 THAT I READ BASED SOLELY ON A RECOMMENDATION

Air Awakens by Elise Kova. I love the cover but at the time it wasn’t enough to sway me. Then I read all the glowing reviews for the series and had to check the book out.

22. NEWEST FICTIONAL CRUSH FROM A BOOK I READ IN 2016

Garrett Graham, The Deal. This man, oh how he makes me swoon. I didn’t really like him at first but as his friendship with Hannah developed and blossomed into a beautiful romance he also managed to steal my heart in the process. He’s an incredibly supportive friend and boyfriend and I would snatch him up in a heartbeat. 

23. BEST 2016 DEBUT THAT I READ

A Promise of Fire by Amanda Bouchet. Again, I didn’t know what to expect from this book but I loved the incorporation of Greek mythology and the camaraderie between Griffin, Cat and the rest of the company was hilarious.

24. BEST WORLDBUILDING/MOST VIVID SETTING I READ THIS YEAR

Nevernight. Despite my qualms with the footnotes, I must admit they did ultimate help clarify some things about the world. Do I remember every detail, no, but I did finish the book with a clear understanding of the type of world this book is set in.

25. BOOK THAT PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE/WAS THE MOST FUN TO READ

The Deal by Elle Kennedy. Hilarious, addictive and swoony. The banter between the guys and Hannah was on point and there were plenty of laugh out loud moments in this book. 

26. BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY OR NEARLY CRY IN 2016

Crooked Kingdom is the only book that succeeded in making me cry this year. I won;t spoil the moment but it was soul-crushing and happened at the moment I dared to hope that everyone was out in the clear. 

27. HIDDEN GEM OF THE YEAR

Rites of Passage by Joy. N. Hensely. I would not be able to survive a military academy. I was exhausted after 5 minutes. The intensity levels are taken to new heights in this book and I definitely appreciated Sam’s determination to prove to everyone that she belonged.

28. BOOK THAT CRUSHED YOUR SOUL

Blood For Blood: See no. 17.

29. MOST UNIQUE BOOK THAT I READ IN 2016

Something  Real by Heather Demetrios. Reality TV is not something I follow but this book did an excellent job at exploring the dark side to this world and how manipulative and damaging it can be for someone so young to have her identity carved out by the producers of the show.

30. BOOK THAT MADE ME THE MOST MAD

Walk the Edge by Katie McGarry: I loved this book but Breanna’s parents drove me absolutely insane. The way they treated her was horrible and I hate how they thought that years of neglect could be pushed aside the moment she finds happiness in someone they disapprove of.

1. FAVOURITE BOOK BLOG I DISCOVERED IN 2016

I don’t know if I discovered them in 2016 but some of my favourite blogs are Nick and Nereyda @ Nick and Nereyda’s Infinite Booklist, Aimal @ Bookshelves and Paperbacks, Richard @ The Humpo Show, Deanna @ A Novel Glimpse. These are just a few of the amazing blogs I’ve come across and I’m hoping to up my blog hopping game in 2017 cause I have been slacking as of late.

2. FAVOURITE REVIEW THAT I WROTE IN 2016

I have two; the first one is my review of The Hard Count by Ginger Scott. The second is my review for Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys 

3. BEST DISCUSSION/NON-REVIEW POST I HAD ON MY BLOG

I’ve not done many discussion posts but I was quite proud of my post on the ways to beating a reading slump

4. BEST EVENT THAT I PARTICIPATED IN

Again I’ve not participated in many of these because events like the twitter chats and such take place at 2am UK time. Time zones suck. On top of that when it comes to book signings, the closest one to home would be a good 2 hour drive away.

5. BEST MOMENT OF BOOKISH/BLOGGING LIFE 

My one year blogiversary. I gave myself a hefty pat on the back for reaching that milestone. 

6. MOST CHALLENGING THING ABOUT BLOGGING OR MY READING LIFE THIS YEAR

Keeping up with comments and blog hopping. I’ve been slacking on that front as of late and it is something I plan on improving on this year.

7. MOST POPULAR POST THIS YEAR ON MY BLOG

My most popular blog post was the Bloggers to Follow Top Ten Tuesday topic. My most popular review was A Gathering of Shadows

8. POST I WISH GOT A LITTLE MORE LOVE

My TV Talk for Mr. Robot and my review for The Hard Count.

9. BEST BOOKISH DISCOVERY

Bookstagram. I might not be the most active user but I love all the bookstagram accounts that have popped up over the year or so.

10. DID I COMPLETE ANY READING CHALLENGES OR GOALS THAT I HAD SET FOR YOURSELF?

1. ONE BOOK I DIDN’T GET TO IN 2016 BUT WILL BE MY #1 PRIORITY READ IN 2017

Where do I even begin. There are a lot of books I failed to read in 2016 and plan on reading in 2017. These include; The Winner’s Trilogy, Gemina and Outrun the Moon.

2. BOOK I AM MOST ANTICIPATING FOR 2017 (NON-DEBUT)

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

3. 2017 DEBUT I AM MOST ANTICIPATING

Wait for Me by Caroline Leech

4. SERIES ENDING/A SEQUEL I AM MOST ANTICIPATING IN 2017

A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab

5. ONE THING I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH OR DO IN MY READING/BLOGGING LIFE IN 2017

Comment/blog hop more. Write more discussion posts. I’m also considering writing some TV/Film reviews but I’m not sure if anyone would be interested in that. 

6. A 2017 RELEASE I’VE ALREADY READ AND RECOMMEND TO EVERYONE

Sad news. I’ve not read a single books since the first week of December. I hate this slump.

That was my reading year. How was your 2016 reading year?

      2016 End of Year Survey Another year has come and gone and what better way to wrap up the year than with this End of Year Survey, created by Jamie…