#also caught the flu which sucks

[uselesssomebody]

thinking about joel obviously and i just

joel caught up in the moment, probably drunk (actually off alcohol or pu$$y Ima) and letting a fantasy of his slip out where he wants a MMF 3some just to fill reader up…... but denies it later when she brings it up..... but she tries to arrange it with some dude and they get pretty far into the process - - like meet up at a bar and hang out with plans on all going home together..... but jealous!joel changes his mind (shocker!) and keeps reader all to himself, probably fucking in the car before they make it home Imao

specific yes but.

you're a good writer. you can do it. please.

𝕚 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 - 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨 - joel miller x reader

complete masterlist | joel miller masterlist

words || 𝟟.𝟜𝕜

summary || in which the reader and joel do some experimenting?? (just look at the ask)

a/n || i am such a waffler man this was supposed to be a quick and easy response and now it's over 7k?? ➵ hey nonnie hope you enjoy i know it's long. i actually adored the request so much and it made me blush when i first read it on the bus. also, i realized like halfway through that you had likely wanted pre-outbreak but it is, in fact, post-outbreak and set in jackson. ➵ no ellie in this one though, guys, but there is like a male oc who the reader is kinda with for a bit - just look at the ask, honestly ➵ poe and thomas from tmr requests in my asks - i see you and you will be answered so soon! ➵ evidently i am now also a whore for oscar isaac so sen over lil moon knight, santiago or poe requests if you have 'em. planning on writing for leto from dune too - just too much of dilf to ignore, unfortunately. ➵ like very 18+/MDNI content, and heed warnings cuz by god is this one of the sluttiest, smuttiest things i've ever written ➵ not edited (yet) ➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smut/smidge of angst ➵ unprotected p.i.v. ➵ sex after alcohol consumption (fully consensual though)➵ finger sucking + gagging➵ lotta threesome mentions and fantasizing➵ bitty bit of spit play➵ semi-public sex + exhibitionism➵ mirror sex➵ oral (m receiving) ➵ cum swallowing ➵ cum ig (tell me if i miss anything)

"are you feeling alright?" she blinked up at the man in front of her, broken out of her daydream.

"huh? yeah, yeah - i'm fine. why'dya ask?" he shrugs.

"looked like you'd fallen asleep over there. actually, you've got a little bit of drool-" all grogginess evaporates from her as she brings her sleeve up to wipe the corner of her mouth that he'd gestured to. he laughed at her bugged-out reaction, keeling over, when she realizes he'd been joking - and she hadn't, in fact, been drooling.

"fuck off, man." he wheezes through his laughs.

"you should have seen your face!"

they were the last two sat at the kitchen, serving dinner to the last few residents of jackson who had come in for a late meal. it'd been a long day for her, as she attempted to pick up shifts to help with the town's current shortage of workers - too many out with the flu at the moment.

it was a bit absurd, honestly, having so many afflicted by the common cold when there was a whole apocalyptic fungus about.

nevertheless, she'd finished cooking a few hours ago, and now, her and her coworker were finishing portioning the meals and wrapping the sliver of leftovers for the next day. with only a few people sat around the makeshift cafeteria, the both of them were sat in the cleaned kitchen, trying not to fall asleep.

she'd known him - jake - since she'd been in jackson: her first superior when she'd joined the food industry in the small town. he was nice and welcoming at first, but as they were put on more shifts together and had more silent hours to kill, she'd realized how dumb he was.

affectionately, of course.

he loved to make stupid jokes and laugh at stupid things. he liked to believe stupid things, and say even more stupid things to her.

she sat through them, laughing at his antics or willing away her annoyance at his childishness. nevertheless, he was one of her close friends, and - as much as she thought he was dumb - he was there enough of the time for her to accustom to him.

they're snapped out of their banter by the bell at the door ringing, signalling someone had walked in. they both walk out, ready to serve the very late townsman, until she realizes who it is as they near.

she slips out from behind the booth to greet him, placing a soft kiss to his cheek as he grips her side in a half-bear hug.

"hey, joel."

"how're ya, baby?" she nods, detaching.

"i'm - i'm okay."

"long day, ain't it?" she nods meekly at his assessment, smiling when his large hand presses over her shoulder, subtly massaging the tense muscles there as she turns back to jake.

"'lright, i should get back, joel -" she starts, but is cut off by her colleague's disagreement.

"no, you guys head home. i'll finish up here." she hesitates, immediately disagreeing.

"no - i shouldn't-"

"don't worry about it." jake's words hold a finality, and she salutes him as he laughs.

"alright - i'll see you tomorrow. okay?" he nods, waving them off as joel guides her out. he's moving a little fast - a little urgent - and it makes her laugh.

"are we in a rush?" she mumbles, taking in the cold of the night air as she sucks in a breath.

"hmm?" joel's voice is gruff, and, only when she glances at him under the streetlight does she notice the flush on his face.

"are - are you drunk?" he stays quiet, and she snakes her arm around him, smiling at the warmth he provided, "okay, how about 'how much have you had to drink'?" his lips don the ghost of a smile as they approach her place.

"just enough to remind me how much i miss you." he mumbles, crowding her back as she opens the door, quick to take her bag, and then her shoes, and then her jacket, and then her sweater off of her, leaving her goosebumped in the aftermath of the cold wind hitting her on her near bare front.

she was quick to realize that it was one of those nights - and she sure wasn't complaining, wrapping her fingers around joel's hair as his head dips to meet her neck, sighing contently at the action. his hands clasp - almost desperately - on her hips, pulling her straight into her bedroom, as he continued leaving a trail of wet kisses along her neck.

she grips at the collar of his flannel, tracing her hands over the top of it until she reaches the buttons at the front, eagerly slipping them off, and his deft fingers perform the same action over her jeans, the button almost as eager as she was, slipping undone swiftly.

she grips his cheeks, pushing his lips to connect with her own, wanting to taste the 'just enough' whiskey or beer he'd had while waiting for her.

and, fuck, did it taste good - a harsh taste that had clung to his teeth, which she eagerly licked off. it tasted aged, and rough around the edges - but that was probably just him.

she moaned into his mouth as he pulled her jeans just low enough to gain access to her cunt, swiping his fingers over the fabric of her soft underwear - where she'd practically soaked through the garment.

"fuck, baby - all for me?" his head dips into the small space between them as he moans, his mumble being confirmed by her vigorous nodding and the jolt of her hips when he applied just a hint of pressure. she pushes his shirt off as his fingers continue to explore the extent of her arousal, before he's pushing her down into a laying position over her bed.

he pulls her jeans off the rest of the way, and she rises just enough to grasp his belt, unbuckling it - but not taking it off. when she'd looked up at him, she'd realized that tonight was a i need you - right now night, and his trousers would probably only remain unzipped and lowered enough to take his cock out.

so, she does just that, pushing them down just enough to pull his cock out, stroking him lightly as he lets out another low groan.

"you want me-" though she can see the way he's aching for her, she knows he's still - as the gentleman he is - going to ask if she wants more satisfaction beforehand.

"inside. right now." it's supposed to be a cheeky command, but the desperation in her voice breaks the illusion. it's more than enough for joel, though, gripping his cock and slipping her underwear to the side, only taking a moment to run a finger over her soaked folds and exhaling deep and low.

his tip nudges against his clit, making her hips buck, catching him on her entrance, and allowing him to push inside her.

"oh, fuck-" it falls from his mouth - practically without permission - and his sentiment is shared by her, breaths shallow as he fills her.

"oh - god - that's so good, joel - 't's'good-" her words her garbled nonsense, and the desperate nature of them spur him on, letting out a gruff moan as he bottoms out.

he can feel her clenching around him - obviously trying to adjust to the size of him - and it's doing all sorts of things to his head. he allows her breath to even just slightly, before he pulls back and pushes inside her, watching her mouth fall open at the sharp action.

she was so fucking pretty - her eyes glazed over as she felt him repeat the action, his thrusts determined and rough, her mouth hung open, mind seemingly blank, as not even a word escapes her.

he slows down for a moment, and sees the moment of annoyance fall over her features, her brows scrunching as she goes to question his actions. he removes one of his hands from their grip on her waist, bringing it up to cup the side of her face. his thumb strokes her cheek for a second, making her relent and smile at the soft action, before he takes her by surprise, speeding up, and bringing his hand closer to her chin, his thumb ghosting her open lips.

"oh - oh, my god-" her moans are quiet, a whimper pressed under his finger, and as her mouth falls open again, he rests his thumb against her tongue, watching her features flash in confusion, before she succumbs, almost instinctively wrapping her lips over his thick finger.

it's a pretty sight - in a fucked way - and it makes his thrusts quicken, her eyes squeezing shut and her mouth humming around his thumb at the sensation. his eyes watch the hollow of her cheeks as she suckles him, the flick of her tongue against his nail, the slight rock of her head up and down. her moans sound garbled and mumbled against him, and that makes them sound more desperate - as though she was trying so hard to let him know how good he felt, but couldn't get it across while her mouth was occupied.

he pressed up closer against her, removing his thumb and replacing it with his index and middle fingers. it wasn't a challenge for her mouth, but she could feel herself gag when he pushed them down - and he found the sound fucking hot.

"christ - gonna have to fill you up like this every time." so distracted by his cock and his fingers, she nods without paying too much attention, until his next sentence: "want me to get someone else to do it? watch someone fill your mouth while i fuck you like this?" her eyes widen at the notion, but she knows that he can feel the way she clenches around him at the thought, and a grunt escapes him, his hips stuttering at the sensation, "fuck, you like that, don't you? so greedy, pretty baby, ain't i enough?" he can see the way her eyes widen at his words, as she was totally not saying that. he's sure her small movements around his fingers are the shake of her head, and it makes him laugh, "that's okay, baby, i wanna see it too. wanna see you get filled up-" his words swim in her head, and he's still talking, but she can't hear him anymore, her stomach clenching at the feeling of her orgasm.

she's sure she squeals around him or something, because his thrusts speed up just slightly: his hands are a bit rougher on her body, and his movements are a bit more intentioned.

"that's it, baby, d'ya wanna cum for me?" she nods, and he smiles, pulling his fingers out of her mouth, and trailing his spit slicked digits over her cunt, ghosting over her clit, making her moan come out loudly, "i didn't hear you, pretty girl," she looks up at him, gripping one of his biceps and the hand on her waist.

"please - please, joel, lemme cum - please?" it seemed to be the only word in her vocabulary, the way she was pleading, and he relented, nodding his head.

"go 'head, baby - cum, cum f'r'me." his accent becomes more pronounced as his own words become mumbled, his thrusts growing sloppy and less calculated. it's more than enough for her to oblige, feeling the growing knot in her stomach snap so hard her legs begin to shake, squealing at the sensation. his continued movements inside her are spurred by the clench of her cunt as he feels his own orgasm close, thrusting in a few more times, before pulling out and finishing over her.

they're both breathing deeply, trying to catch their breaths, and she's still twitching. he pulls off of her, allowing her some space to recover, before he walks into the bathroom of her place to clean up and find something for her.

when he comes back out, she already looks close to sleep, so he avoids saying all too much, focusing instead on slowly and gently cleaning her, pressing soft kisses to her crown or her fingertips. she lays down as he returns to the bathroom, seeing her practically passed out, her body curled against the side of the bed, and leaving a him-shaped spot by him.

he slides in beside her, feeling the warmth of her bare skin against his own, and lulling into an exhausted sleep of his own.

she woke up earlier than him the next day, knowing he preferred to sleep in late, especially since being in jackson. she rose to make herself - and him, when he decided to wake up - some breakfast, keeping her stove on low heat so that the sizzle of her eggs wouldn't cause too much noise.

she's in her own thoughts all morning, first adamant in getting ready so that she can go to work - before she remembers what he said last night.

'want me to get someone else to do it? watch someone fill your mouth while i fuck you like this?'

she didn't have a moment to process his words in her wrecked state last night, but her ability to mull over them this morning left her very confused.

sure, she didn't mind the idea of the fantasy - but that's under the precedent that she'd never thought about it before. joel had never said anything like that to her before - in fact, if anything, she thought joel hated the idea of her with someone else, always ready to pull her into him or grip her with purpose in the presence of other people who looked at her with too much interest.

so, his admission the previous night wasn't something she'd dismiss - but something she'd have to speak with him about after he'd woken up.

which, to her surprise, happened sooner than later, when she felt his arms wrap around her as she absentmindedly stirred her scrambled eggs, too focused on other things. she jolts against him, squeaking, but he takes the majority of the impact, still holding onto her tightly as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"jesus, joel - you scared the hell outta me." she catches her breath, tipping her head back onto his own shoulder, and smiling lightly at her reaction.

"good mornin' to ya too, sweetheart." he mumbles, good-naturedly. she laughs at his slightly monotone, unafflicted tone, before brushing him off and nudging him in the direction of the table, which he reluctantly obliges. she plates up their simple breakfast of toast and eggs, placing them on the table as he runs two glasses of water for them.

when they're both sat down and eating, she clears her throat.

"late today." it's a mumble, reminding him she'd be home late again, having been placed on another long shift.

"again?" he's curious - she'd pulled a lot of them recently, "if they're overworkin' ya, i'll talk to tommy-" she smiles, shaking her head at the suggestion.

"no, joel - everyone's sick, it's just temporary." he looks like he wants to argue, but he nods, shrugging. she smiles, trying to cheer him up, "you can put me to bed like you did yesterday, yeah?" she says it as she reaches for the fingers splayed beside him on his outstretched arm as he ate, ghosting her own over them. she can see the hint of a smile ghost over his face, not looking her in the eyes - as she knows the memory of the previous night is at the front of his mind.

"'f ya want that, i'll give it to ya, baby." it's a promise, and she smiles, feeling her own face redden at his casual tongue. then, her face falls for a moment, realizing what she still has to ask him.

"joel - actually, i need to ask you something." he looks up at her with questioning eyes. his mouth's full, but she knows he's gonna answer her, so she asks away: "were you being serious last night?" his expression turns more confused, his chews slowing as he processes her words. she continues, "you know, about bringing someone else in?" he chokes at her words, swallowing harshly and coughing before taking a sip of water.

she's a bit shocked by the reaction, but waits as he recuperates, before he answers.

"what? i dunno wha' yer talkin' about, sweetheart." his accent is heavy as he goes to sip his water again. her eyes widen at the response, unbelieving that, across the many ways he could have answered her, he chose to lie. and, she knows he's lying, because his cheeks and neck have reddened, and he's not looking her in the eyes. she shakes her head, mouth agape.

"i'm not - i'm not freaked out or anything, it's just something i thought we should talk about-" he shakes his head, picking up his now-empty plate, and placing it away without looking at her.

"there's nothin' to talk about." it's dismissive, and, frankly rude. she goes to say something, but, seeing his back still to her, she bites her tongue and rolls her eyes. having lost her appetite, she eat the rest of her meal with gritted teeth, leaving for work after with a noticeable frigidness.

at work, jake's quick to mention her heightened annoyance. first, he pokes a bit of fun at it, before he realizes the extent of it. he goes to ask what's wrong - but decides that she needs a good laugh more than a shoulder to cry on, so he does just that for the next few hours.

he watches as her shell cracks - first from her cracking just a hint of a smile at something stupidly funny he'd done, then accidentally letting out a chuckle and, finally, essentially belly laughing, to the point where he had to hold her up to make sure didn't fall into the large pot of chilli that she was making.

her mood positively lifted by her coworker, she walks around with just a slightly bigger pep in her step. jake had done a good job, he thinks.

by the end of the day, though, she's thinking about joel - and what he'd said last night, again. she can't help the thought of including another person proliferating her mind, especially not today, as she realized not only how damn sweet coworker, funny guy, friend jake is, but also how his smile's a bit toothy, but nice to look at, or how his hair actually looks really good when it's a bit fucked up from his hands running through it when he took a break, or had to push it away from his face.

it was fucking unholy, was what it was, thinking about the poor guy who was just trying to br a friend to her - especially right after an argument with her boyfriend that morning. jake seemed to notice her faraway stares again tonight, poking fun at it, without realizing that he was part of the reason for them.

by the last end of her night shift, she was sure he had realized the slight distance she was trying to put between them, but the man didn't mind, knowing she had a lot to think about from her behavior that morning.

he thinks he knows the reason for it, when he sees her boyfriend walk inside more timidly than he'd ever done, and the lack of a kiss that she'd usually immediately plant on him. in fact, he sits on a table in near them instead of saying hello to her - a distinct difference.

he ushers her out a little early once again, and she smiles, earnestly thanking him as she steps out of the kitchen - with promises of making it up to him sometime. he shrugged her off, waving her away, asking her not to worry about it.

she notices joel as soon as she leaves, watching him raise as she nears him.

"are you coming to mine?" she mumbles, not really looking at him as he opens to the door to let them both out.

"d'ya want me too?" she pauses for a moment, before smiling, as she can hear the hint of a plea in his voice. joel hated when they got like this, not liking the notion of making her unhappy, but knowing that he was uncharacteristically stubborn. she slides her hand into his own warm one, and sees the way his face lights up - well, to the extent that it can.

"you gonna keep your promise?" for a moment, he's confused, before realization dawns on him.

"f'course, sweetheart."

the previous night had left her just as satisfied and passed out as the last time. joel had fucked her with a purpose: letting her know how sorry he was for dismissing her out of embarrassment. nevertheless, he doesn't mention the idea he'd proposed two nights ago. she can tell it still intrigued him, though, as his fingers still exploratively entered her mouth, still hooked by the look of her trying to pleasure him in two different ways.

that morning, she felt more determined in surprising her boyfriend by fulfilling his fantasy. there wasn't too much opportunity to have these sexy surprises between each other in the advent of the apocalypse, so she figured this would at least be a memorable experience for the both of them.

and she knew just who the third would be.

that day, when she got to work, jake felt as though she was walking on eggshells around him. it always seemed as though a question was on the tip of her tongue, and she had this apprehensive, curious, and something-else look in her eyes whenever she'd catch his, and it was driving him mad. if there was one thing the man hated, it was not knowing.

finally, he corners her after the dinner rush.

"what's up with you, huh?" her eyes widen at his direct question.

"what? nothing, why do you ask?" he rolls his eyes, holding his head in his hands.

"you've been acting weird all day. did i do something?" she's quick to shake her head.

"no! no, not at all..." he immediately disspells his worried act, becoming annoyed.

"well, then, what is it?" she goes to argue, but he holds a hand up, "spare me the dramatics and just tell me, please. i've waited all day."

she opens her mouth. then closes it again. then repeats the action a few times. every time, it piques jake's interest. finally he can't take anymore, and lets out a frustrated sigh, causing her to finally blurt it out.

"joel wants a threesome!" as soon as it exits her mouth, she realizes how crude it is. jake's mouth falls open, before his shocked expression morphs into a laugh. she's shocked by the reaction.

"yeah? and you're worried? who's the lucky girl?" realizing his misunderstanding, she shakes her head.

"no, no - we kinda wanna introduce a guy." jake sobers up immediately, real confusion falling over his face.

"okay..." it's a slow response, and he suddenly feels as though the space between them is too small. seeing his expression, she panics.

"i'm - god, i'm stupid, sorry, i shouldn't have jumped out-" she's rambling in her panic, and he reaches to calm her.

"no, no, no, it's okay." they go silent for a moment, as he lets go of her hand, "you thought of someone else?" he finally asks. she swallows harshly.

"well - there's only one other guy i really trust in this town." it was true - everyone else was nice, but she didn't know anyone else, viable or not. he looks almost expectant in an answer, but when she looks up at him with a very suggestive glance, he realizes what she means.

"me?" he's shocked, as she slowly nods.

"only if you want to - i mean i totally get it if you don't..." realizing she'd start rambling again if she spoke, she bit her tongue, stopping herself. he shakes his head, taking a deep breath.

"no - god, no, it's not that. i mean, you're pretty, and - like, we're friends, i like you, it's just..." she watches his mouth expectantly, wanting his answer, "joel's scary" she wants to take him seriously, but she can't help but crack into a smile, causing his face to morph to indignance, "c'mon, i'm being serious." she nods.

"yeah, of course, of course. but he's not gonna do anything - he wants this." he looks contemplative, jaw clenching and unclenching.

"this is a stupid idea." her face falls a little, as she swallows, "but, i'll do it." shocked by the turn around, her breaks into a smile, reaching to give him a hug.

"seriously?" she mumbles into his shoulder.

"yeah, what the hell." she laughs at his casual nature, when the both of them hear the door open, knowing it could only be one person so late into the night.

she peeks out, smiling giddily at joel, and he follows her, waving at the man as well. joel's a bit confised - not having interacted much with jack? - jacob? - before, but he nods a hello to him as he hugs her.

she waves jake a quick goodbye, and he smiles at the couple, watching them walk away. as the door closes, he exhales deeply, wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.

over the next few days, her conversations with jake had this air of just slight awkwardness to them, and she was trying her best to subtly remind joel of his fantasy. she'd taken to sticking his own fingers in her mouth and mumbling about how she wanted to be filled up during their nights together.

she'd decided that the upcoming weekend maybe the best time for this experiment, and her and jake were about to be exempt from their duties for a well-deserved break, as some of the other kitchen staff had begun feeling better. she'd proposed the time to the man, and could practically see the heat that reached his ears.

"uh - yeah, shit - yeah. saturday?" she nods slowly, deciding it might be best to warm joel up to the surprise throughout the day, before the reveal at night.

on that friday, she walks out with a distinct pep in her step, excited to be doing this for her boyfriend. she had wrapped her friend in a quick hug - a thank you for his commitment to the idea - before returning to joel.

on that saturday, they practically woke up that morning fucking. she knew he'd never say no to sex before breakfast, so, as she goes down on him, she mumbles about the surprise she had for him later. thrown out of his pleasure by the surprise, he grips her hair, pulling her off of him and looking at her expectantly for elaboration.

"what - fuck-" her hand hadn't gotten the memo to pause, "what surprise?" she laughs against him.

"'f i tell you, it's not a surprise."

he doesn't bring it up again until after breakfast, though, once he does, he doesn't stop. he practically pesters her all day - on her off-day, no less - for an explanation, until, by about the evening, she relents.

"joel, alright." he finally stops, watching as she plops onto the couch next to him, finding a comfortable position as he watches her movements, an expectant expression on his face, "remember what you said a few days ago." his face suddenly hardens - immediately understanding, but not acknowledging her, "i know you were worried about what i thought, but i - i don't hate it." his mouth parts at her admission, and she averts her eyes, a shy smile creeping on her face, "go ahead, call me greedy again."

finally, his expression breaks, and a small laugh - more of an exhale - comes from him, remembering his reaction that night as well.

"i'm - i'm not gonna do that, sweetheart. but - i don't wanna pressure ya 'r anythin', 'lright?" she looks up at him earnestly and nods.

"you're not - i swear. i - well, it can't hurt to try, right?" he leans further back into the soft cushions, half shrugging, before his eyes narrow.

"what's yer su'prise then, baby?" she hesitates for a moment, unsure how to mention it.

"well, since you - y'know, we - wanted to, i thought i'd find a guy and arrange something..." she trails off, realizing the shock on joel's face. there's definitely an intrigue in his eyes, but something else - a little darker - hidden deeper in his gaze. she searches his face desperately, looking for disgust, or apprehension in his eyes.

"ya -" he swallows, lips parting again, tongue darting out to moisten them, going silent for a moment, "who'd ya find?" is the question he eventually settles on, averting his gaze from her for a moment.

"i - you know the guy i work with? jake?" joel immediately realizes - the man that always let his girl leave with him a little early. the guy who seemed decent enough, respectful enough. it made him swallow harshly, not sure how to process the thought, but being unable to ignore the slow, interested churn in his stomach, "did - should i have found someone else?" he can hear the light edge of panic in her voice, and he's quick to shake his head.

"no - no, darlin'. that's the surprise, then? we meetin' him tonight?" she nods slowly, still unsure of his reaction. he places an arm around her, pulling her close to him, and burying his nose in her hair. "re ya excited?" she stills for a moment, before nodding, a little sheepish.

"yup." his response is immediate.

"greedy girl."

the bar has a quiet lull to it, though it's a saturday. there are a few patrons milling about - in the booths, or by the bar. they step into the warm atmosphere after the cold of the night, and she can feel goosebumps rise - due to the weather change or the anticipation, she doesn't know.

joel's warm - as always - against her back, so close to her that she feels like she can scarcely breathe. his gripping her tightly by the waist, fingers tapping on her shirt - almost contemplatively. she sees jake by the bar, and he makes eye-contact with her over the rim of his glass of beer. she waves a hello, before guiding her boyfriend towards him.

she slides into the stool beside him, tentatively giving him a hug in greeting. she doesn't usually do it in front of joel, but she figured, by the end of the night, he'd be used to much, much more, so who cared? jake mumbles a quick hi to her, before leaning back.

"hey, joel." he also speaks hesitantly, nodding at the other man. she turns to watch his reaction, and sees that the stern expression that he always kept on his face hadn't exactly left. she watched him swallow, shuffling on his feet.

"yeah. hey." it's a gruff response, but it's, at least, a response. she rolls her shoulders, a small smile growing on her lips.

"well, i think it'd be best we have a little to drink?" it's not a question, but it's got the intonation of one, as she looks for support for the idea from her two companions. joel nods, and jake calls the bartender over, requesting 3 drinks.

she only planned on them staying about half or three-quarters of the hous, before heading back. now, it had progressed to be a few minutes past an hour and a half, and it didn't look like anyone was particularly ready. jake had been maintaining a respectful distance, talking to her, and trying to engage joel in conversation, but the other man was dismissive at best and just silent at worst.

thus, she'd been engaged in conversation with jake instead - boring stuff, such as the town's gossip, about work, or about something newly stupid the man had done. she'd laughed - in fact, she'd keeled over laughing at his story, a hand at the bar and the other at the man's arm to steady herself.

though, she felt herself lose that touch quickly, as joel's hands grip her waist to keep her grounded - maybe a little tighter than his normal hold.

nonetheless, through the conversation, she had tried to listen along to jake's stories, and include joel in their conversation, but it didn't seem to be working - and, after the third beer, her confidence was supremely dwindling.

when jake had been recognized by someone else that he knew, moving just a meter or two from the couple to greet the other person, joel had pulled her flush against him, his torso warm against hers as his mouth adjusted to be at her ear-level.

"i dunno 'bout this, sweetheart." he whispers it into her cheek, and it makes her features contort into confusion, but she doesn't turn to him.

"why not?" she whispers back, a bit confused by the change of pace from the afternoon. after a moment passed, and he hadn't answered, she turned to face him. there's a distinct discomfort on his face: a sour expression, his frown deeper than usual. he wasn't looking at her, though; his eyes instead trailed jake's quiet conversation with his friend. she felt a heaviness overcome her, along with realization, "if you don't want to - we can go..." she trails off, giving him space to respond, and she can feel his sharp inhale against her skin, contemplating the idea.

"baby, i you want to - i can, but-" she immediately shakes her head.

"'t's 'lright, we can go. i don't really mind." she gives him a small, almost reassuring smile, and, after another second, he nods. he pushes both of their empty drinks so that they're not teetering on the edge of the bar, and she quickly walks over to jake. he immediately takes notice of her.

"hey, you ready-" he begins, but, seeing the other person who was still speaking with jake, her eyes widen, quick to cut him off and turn him to face her, indicating a more private conversation.

"no! i mean - i dunno, jake - he's not up for it, i think." she tries to be as discreet as possible, but jake's worried expression as he glances over at her boyfriend forces her to suppress an eye-roll at his blatantness.

"i - is he alright, i mean - i'm-?" he's stammering a bit, and she smiles, knowing what he's actually stressed about.

"he's not gonna do anything, i swear." jake's eyes flickered over to joel's ever stern face, not really reassured. nevertheless, he nods.

"okay - you guys going, then?"

"yeah - early night, but whatever. i'll see you monday?" he's quick to agree, waving her off as she returned to joel, "'lright, we heading home?" joel's still looking at the other man, and she lightly presses against his forearm to get his attention. he finally switches his attention to her, a contemplative glaze in his eyes. he hums lightly, and she's about to repeat the question, before he's shaking his head.

"no. not yet, baby." she's a little confused, until he takes her hand in his own warm, large one, gently guiding her to him, "i've got an idea. d'ya trust me?" her eyes follow his movements: the slight fire in his eyes, the hidden smirk on his lips, the impatient tapping of his fingers on the back of her palm, and she's suddenly very intrigued. she nods slowly - of course she trusted him - and the smirk seems to grow.

they duck away from the crowd, towards the back of the bar, and into the bathrooms. now, she's even more confused, as she surveys the hints of the old jackson on the walls as joel ushers her inside - closing and locking the door behind her. there's scribbles on the walls - marker, pen, paint, nail marks - and she finds it a bit difficult to move too much between the space that her and her boyfriend were occupying in the small bathroom. it was quite bare-bones, but it was at least clean - she remembered thinking, distracted enough by the setting to not notice joel's wandering hands making their way to the front of her jeans.

when she does, she lets out a gasp, gripping them before they reach her button, stilling his movements.

"what're you doing?" it'd have been more shocked and indignant if they weren't still in decent earshot of some of the tables - she could hear music and people decently through the wooden door of the bathroom.

"i need you - right now, baby. you gonna let me make you feel good?" he mumbles it into her neck, not letting her confusing defer him as his lips trace over the side of her throat. she feels her hands grow a bit shakier, realizing why this sudden urge had overcome him, but that didn't stop her hesitance.

"i - joel, there're people outside - what if someone hears us?" he's pecking away at her resolve, though, as his hands travel up her body, pulling up the sweater she's wearing along with them.

"let 'em baby, let him hear how good i'm making ya feel." alright, this was a bit out of character for him - obviously spurred on by recent events - but the way he was moving definitely indicated his desperation. finally, she secedes, rolling her eyes as she tells him to be quiet nonetheless. cheekily, he responds, "remind yourself, sweetheart." he grasps the button of her jeans, taking it off with ease, as her own hands go to grip the edge of the sink in front of them, desperately trying not to see her own flushed appearance in the mirror, and focusing instead on the movements of his hands.

he's pulling her trousers down before she can even focus all that much, just far enough to rest under her ass, allowing his hand to snake around and find her cloth-covered clit, rubbing harshly before she has a chance to realize. it causes a squeak to emit from her, making her throw a hand over her mouth, forcing herself to bite down on her finger to avoid alerting the populace of the bar to the unsavory acts occurring.

her other hand reaches desperately to slow the wake of his hand's force, grasping uselessly against his forearm as his fingers continue their assault, feeling her hips involuntarily buck against his ministrations, her thighs hitting against the sink whenever she did. his other hand pulls her underwear down to join her jeans, his hand only relenting for half a moment before it immediately reconnected with her slit, collecting the evidence of her arousal on the tips of his fingers, before bringing the thick digits to his mouth. she follows the movement of his tongue across the slick on his fingers through the mirror, having to avert her gaze for fear of letting out a loud noise at the lewd action.

her bare ass begins rubbing against his clothed cock, begging for some renewed friction and - due to his kindness, or his own desperation - he obliges her immediately, unbuckling, unbuttoning and unwearing his trousers in swift, measured movements. even through her impatience, she can appreciate the speed with which she could feel the head of his cock against her cunt, pressing against her with a striking warmth, as she bit her tongue to little success - a small moan still slipping out from her teeth.

he places a hand to each of her own, placing them in an almost bracing position against the sides of the sink, before gripping her hip, and guiding his cock into her with the other. she can see her face change as she feels the movement inside her - and, better yet, she can see his: a pretty, flushed expression as he struggled to contain his own strength, as indicated by the grit of his teeth and the twitch of his fingers as they all come to rest on her waist.

she bites her lip, feeling his hips make contact with her ass - the feeling of fullness overtaking her senses as she desperately attempted to focus on not screaming.

though, when he began moving, she could feel that resolve crumbling: a large gasp escaping on the first thrust, then a small whimper on the second and - soon enough, full blown moans, echoing over the small room, accompanied by his own grunts and groans.

he lets out a sharp exhale, a ghost of a laugh, pulling her back to rest closer to him as his pace maintained - pushing and pulling inside her with a determination and dexterity.

"what happened, baby? though ya wanted to be quiet?" it takes a moment for her brain to even comprehend what he was saying, and only a garbled noise awaited him in response. she can see his smile against her skin - right next to her completely debauched face, which he also seems to notice, "look'it ya, yer so pretty, baby girl, my pretty girl, ain't ya?" she can hear how his own words are sloppy but unrelenting, as he gets lost in the feel of her. she immediately nods along, knowing that her stream of half-muffled moans didn't suffice an answer.

"joel - i - too loud-" through her mess, he could make out a hint of worry still present in her fucked-out nature, worried about the knowledge of their actions occurring to those outside the room. he finally relents - though he loves the idea of others hearing her noises for him, and only him.

"'lright, pretty, you just can't be quiet, huh?" there's a light hint of degradation in his tone, but not an actual lie in his words, and the events of the evening made it so she wasn't exactly shameful in that moment, so she simply nods. he obliges her untold request, taking a hand off her waist and pushing it over her mouth, muffling her moans to a much more effective degree. the action forces her head back a little, closer to him, and her back to arch. she glances into the mirror, and sees a smirk appear over joel's panting face.

suddenly, his thrusts are faster, harder, causing her eyes to widen as her fingers scramble to better hold onto the sink. he follows the actions in the mirror, smiling as he sees her reaction, trying to hold it together after his seeming measure of good-will, and subsequent surprise. he watches her eyes roll back into the back of her head, and chest heaving as she desperately tries to reduce her moans, feeling the consequence of her open mouth as her spit falls over his hand.

"that's it baby, take it for me, jus' like that, pretty. ya only get like this for me, don't ya, baby girl, jus' fer me." his pace is unrelenting, spearing into her like it was his last time, while all she could do was nod, mumbling yes's that all got captured in his hand. she can feel her impending orgasm, and she attempts to say something. she doesn't need to though - as he can feel it in the violent flutter of her cunt around him. thus, he doesn't allow his pace to falter, pushing into her that much harder and that much deeper, intently watching her expression in the mirror as all her muscles tense and still: her eyes rolling back, her inhale harsh against the top of his hand, the clench of her around him, the quiet sound that finally emits from her as she feels the orgasm wash over her intensely.

her body fully slumps against him, before she practically falls to her knees, hitting the tile of the bathroom as she grasps his cock and takes him in her mouth, lapping at his underside until her also releases in her mouth with a content groan. she swallows in a heartbeat, the musky taste washing over her tongue as she rises again, gripping the sink behind her to stabilize herself. joel's hands are on her jeans and underwear, helping her pull them up over her ass, before she buttons his jeans and buckles his belt as he checks their appearances, head dipping down to kiss her on the cheek as she caught her breath.

"did so good for me, baby. how're ya feelin'?" she deeply inhales, opening her eyes to look up at him.

"good - good, really good." a smile ghosts over his lips, before he opens the door of the bathroom, ushering her in front of him.

she can feel the eyes on them, and - though joel is a little less abashed - she keeps her gaze glued to the floor as they exit.

the one time she looks up is when joel cheerily waves goodbye to someone, and as she looks at the lucky recipient, she makes eye-contact with jake, who had a bit of a shocked, amused expression on his face. her face whips forwards once more, cheeks burning.

monday's gonna be fun.

[eeveebitches]

hot recognizes hot || Roman Roy

Pairing: Roman Roy x F!Reader

Summary: Bored in a fancy bar your friend dragged you to, you see a man by himself nursing a drink and decide to start up a conversation

Word count: 1.806

You nurse the mocktail you have with a light frown. The thing cost 17 dollars, and you're pretty sure most of that money is simply for the fancy glass it's in.

The bar you're at is a fancy, high-end breeding spot for nepo babies. A place you wouldn't frequent if it wasn't for your friend, who got free entry for the both of you because she slept with the owner's niece or some shit like that. You don't remember it well, and she's already disappeared into the designer-clad crowd. Asking her about the lore of how and why you're here isn't an option anymore.

You're painfully bored, stuck in a 1-percenter hell-hole by yourself. So when you see a guy nursing a drink with an expression you're sure is the same as your own, you can't help but make your way over to him.

His eyes, which you can't help but find sad looking, remove themselves from his drink and instead take your presence in. You can visibly see the cogs in his head turn as his brows furrow and his bottom lip stutters in initial confusion. And then finally, with a slight raise of his eyebrows, he scoffs. You catch a quiet 'fuck off' he seemingly mumbles more to himself than to you, right before he lets his line of sight drop back down into his untouched drink.

Rough start, but whatever. You won't let a sour attitude stop you from, at the very least, getting a fun story out of tonight that you can tell your friends tomorrow. "Hey so, not to be a weirdo or anything, but I noticed you're here by yourself too, and also seem pretty miserable."

This time he fully moves his head to face you, carrying an incredulous look in his eyes. As you watch his eyes slowly move down, and then back up again from your figure, you notice how antsy he seems.

The tips of his fingers are nervously tapping against the marble of the bar's counter, and his sleeves are crumpled up from what you can only assume is constant fidgeting with them. There's also a shine of sweat on his neck that you're only seeing now that you're closer in proximity.

"I don't wanna get my cock sucked, thanks and fuck off," he quickly mutters as he busies himself by clasping and unclasping his drink. Now it's your turn to scoff, because who even is this guy? He's dressed like he's about to enter an important business meeting, as if the bar's bathrooms aren't most probably occupied by D-list celebrities getting their rocks off.

You settle down into the seat next to his, the need to win this verbal battle now in the forefront of your mind. "Dude, I don't wanna suck your shriveled up witch's finger dick. I'm just bored and thought you'd be good enough company for now."

He lets out a huffed chuckle. A brief, barely audible one, but you caught it. "And I don't want your mouth near my dick, either. Don't wanna catch whatever diseases you're carrying- bird flu or some shit, I don't know."

"Is that why you haven't touched your drink? Too scared of bird flu, pussy?" His posture visibly straightens up at that, body slightly turning to face you. "Who the fuck wants bird flu? You sound like you fucking enjoy the idea of having the same disease as pigeons. Is it a kink thing? A hot and heavy pigeon sex kink thing?"

You don't hide your amusement, nor the way you check him out the same way he did to you. His hair is clearly messed up, remnants of intact gel shining in the bar's lighting. He has slight facial hair, which you could only describe as an overgrown stubble, as well as strangely pretty downturned lashes that flutter with each blink.

Vaguely, you remember thinking about how sad his eyes looked. Now that you're closer, and can see the semi-permanent crease between his brows, he reminds you a bit of an overgrown, overworked puppy. "I think you're projecting your bird kink onto me."

The corner of his mouth quirks up. "And I think you're getting your panties soaked just thinking about me being into pigeon sex. You're probably g'na ask me to follow you to a random closet and coo in your ear as you jerk me off."

You shift your weight around a bit, taking a glance at your own drink as you realize you should probably start drinking it again. "You wish I would, freak," you quip before taking a sip from the metal straw currently swimming in your drink. For a moment you catch a flash of something- a slightly creased brow, and a stutter in his breathing. Something with an implication you can't help but find intriguing.

"So what's your deal, then, if it's not kinky pigeon role-play?" Now it's your turn to quirk a brow at him. "My 'deal'?"

The man shrugs, lips pouted as he carelessly picks up his drink and swivels its content around. "Y'know, why did you fuckin', walk up to me and try to plow my ass knuckles dip? What's up with that?"

You scoff. Whoever this overgrown teenager was, he could not let go of the constant quips. "What's up with the jokes? Don't tell me it's a coping mechanism," you ask him before you can stop yourself. He makes a face of faux disgust, failing to hide how his lips genuinely twitch downwards. "Why are you dodging my question with another question?"

"Why do you not let yourself be open and vulnerable?" You don't bother looking up from your drink as you take a sip. Whatever his expression was, you were sure it wouldn't surprise you all that much. The man sputters, uncharacteristically not knowing what to say in reply. "The fuck are you, my therapist?"

"Is your therapist hot, and incredibly charming?" His eyes sparkle as he looks at you. He's clearly amused, which you wish you could say didn't tickle you. "She's an ugly hag," he says, clearly only partially joking. "I'd turn into an ugly hag, too, if I had to listen to you whine about, I don't know, your Rolex being dirty."

His frown deepens at that, eyes looking away from you, like he's shielding himself from your financial judgement. "Whatever, then fuckin' leave since you're so hot and charming," he mumbles, and suddenly he takes a swig from his drink. He's a bit of a drama queen.

"But talking to you is soooo much fun, why would I leave?" You make sure to have the sarcasm drip off of your words. Just as suddenly as he took a swig, he suddenly turns his whole body to you. "Seriously, what the fuck is your deal? If it's about my dad, fuck off and die," he hisses out, finger pointing at you.

You point your finger back, and even go as far as to let the tip of your index finger touch his. "I have no idea who your dad is, so I'm not gonna do that. Now order me a snack as an apology," you retort with a straight face.

His eyes dart all over your face, trying to deduce your truth and lies or something like that. With a deep sigh he turns away from you, putting his finger down and instead calling over the bartender. "D'you guys have, like, peanuts, or cookies, or some stupid bar snack shit like that?"

Quickly, the bartender nods, busying himself in making what seems to be a miniature charcuterie board. Seriously, what kind of bar is this? "I swear to god, if you're a reporter, I'm sicking my lawyers on you and having them raid your villages, burn your crops and devour your women," he mumbles as he returns to staring at his drink.

"What, are you famous? Like a knock-off DiCaprio?" He chuckles at that, so apparently he finds you funny. "You seriously don't know who I am?" You shrug in reply, to which he suddenly grabs your phone from the bar you had placed it on. He shoves it towards you, eyebrows raised. "Unlock it."

Usually you wouldn't let some random wet puppy dog of a man demand something like that of you, but the small possibility that he's actually famous intrigues you. Awkwardly, you grab your phone and unlock it, handing it back to him. "If this is your way of giving me your number, I'm gonna strangle you, just so you know."

The bartender places the charcuterie board for mice in front of you. It looks good, also more expensive than two years of your rent. Meanwhile, mystery man types something on your phone, not paying you any mind. "Here, you don't know this?"

Your eyes squint as he shoves the screen in your face.

'The Waystar Royco Legacy, And The Oil They Spill Into The Ocean Of News.'

Wait,

"You're Logan Roy's son?"

He nods, grabbing the one of the tiny forks given with the board and popping an olive in his mouth, humming in confirmation. "Isn't your brother, like... Kendall?"

"Yeah, what about him?" It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts, but when you do, you grin as you tell him. "His tweets are really funny in like, an ironic way. He's also kinda hot." The face he makes is one of pure disgust, but there's a twang of something bitter. "Ew, Kendall? Seriously? That's what you find hot? He looks like a fucking Playmobil figurine on ketamine, your taste in men is horrible," he groans out, popping another olive in his mouth as he keeps frowning at you.

For a second you wanna ask 'well, wouldn't he actually do ketamine?', but you stop yourself from being an insensitive asshole and instead grab the other fork, plopping the food in your mouth. "Well, I find you kinda hot, too. So you calling my taste horrible is just insulting yourself," you say as casually as one can when shooting their shot. 

The shot seems successful enough, since he starts choking on his olive, face immediately growing three shades redder. "H-oly fuck, don't just fuckin', say that, god," he wheezes out. You shrug, fighting back a proud smile. "Hot recognizes hot, that's all."

You grab your phone from his hand and glance at the time and oh shit, it's late as hell. "Hey, you're hot and fun to talk to and all, but I start my first day at work in like, four hours, so I gotta go." You shove a few of the charcuterie pieces into your mouth, not waiting for his response as you rush outside.

Roman scoffs as he watches you scurry off, taking a final, large sip of his drink, frowning at the burn of it.

"Hot recognizes hot, I guess."

[afterhourswjay]

HI JAY! Ive been sick for like a week now so it got me wondering... how would Thoma Ayato Itto and wanderer take care of the reader when they are sick? (SFW, HEADCANON) I NEED THE MALEWIFE OR DOTING PARTNER ENERGY 😞😞😞😞❤️❤️❤️

Howdy, Kichi!! That sounds like it sucks! I'm also really, REALLY, sorry for how late this is!! I haven't had the motivation to write as of late (・・；) I've also been kinda sick myself

Drown in soup, but not literally

the reader is sick, and requires bedrest to get better. how does their partner help them out??

characters: Thoma, Ayato, Itto, and Wanderer warnings:

Thoma

goes full nurse on you

when he hears that your not feeling well, he immediately ushers you off to bed. you don't need to worry about any of your obligations, as he'll make sure to take care of them to the best of his ability

if you're sick with the flu, then he's making sure that your keeping food and fluids down

if you got a simple head cold, then he's not nearly as worried which is saying a lot

he really loves you and doesn't like the fact that theres only so much he can do to help you feel better

he gets really scared if your unable to keep stuff in your stomach

i feel like you'd be pretty good friends with ayato and ayaka, so they'd be more than willing to contact some of the best doctors on your behalf for some of the best medicine they can afford

ngl, he's super worried about you

if he notices your uncomfortable, tired, or really anything other than rested and comfortable, he'll try his best to help you out

do you need more pillows or blankets? are you hungry or thirsty? are you bored, perhaps??

makes you the best meal when your finally feeling better

probably takes you out for an evening walk as well, since you haven't really been moving while sick

definitely hovers around you a lot more for about a week or 2 after you've recovered before he eases up

he knows that getting sick is just part of life, and that it happens to everyone, but that doesn't mean he won't still worry about you

Kamisato Ayato

ngl, i feel like his attention is already split between all his responsibilities that he doesn't notice you feeling unwell at first

once he does notice, however, than he's ushering you off to rest for the time being

he doesn't want to see you trying to do any work until your feeling well

you two have been living together as a way to make it easier for him to protect you from any attempts at people trying to kidnap you for ransom

has the staff bring you anything you may need on days where he's particularly busy

he's not the best cook, either, so he has his staff cook the best foods for someone whos feeling under the weather

spends any of his spare time in your room with you

some times he'll even bring his paperwork in with him so that he can spend time with you but also get some stuff done hint: hes too worried about you to work on his stuff

your condition worsens into the flu before you start getting better

by the time your feeling better, you've pretty much got a mountain of blankets and pillows on your bed

he asks you what you want to eat a day or so after confirming with a doctor that you are officially recovered

Arataki Itto

you were taking a couple days off from taking commissions from the adventurers guild, deciding to spend it with your boyfriend arataki itto

the two of you were running around the whole of inazuma, collecting lavender melons and catching onikabuto beetles

you and itto had gotten caught in a downpour, having to book it across the beach to some makeshift and rather run down huts

why the two of you chose to come to koseki village, you'll never know

but, after the downpour passes, you two head back to your waverider and then back to inazuma city

wet clothes forgotten about due to the rest of the arataki gang having gotten into a little trouble with the guards, you proceed to talk to them while kuki shinobu chews out everyone

eventually, like. close to sundown, your able to make your way to your home to change out of your still damp clothes

you catch a cold the day after, having full body shivers

with practically no word from you for a few days has the whole gang worried for your wellbeing, and they practically break into your home

when you wake up, all bleary eyed from sleep, your met with the group surrounding your bed

after explaining you just have the chills, and are fine for the most part, the most of them leave to go do what they do most days

however, itto sticks around, keeping you company

he does also apologize for the fact that you got caught in the rain a few days ago

you immediately tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about, unless he can control the weather and intentionally made it downpour on the two of you

you then get out of bed, giving him a hug, and then meander off to your kitchen, asking him to help you make some soup

Wanderer

whenever you start being sucked down by depression, you tend to push yourself to work harder

and, often times, this leads you to neglecting your own needs

he may not be the best boyfriend, what with having to sort through his past and his feelings, but he does try his best

he's also hella observant. while he may not comment on everything, hardly anything is able to get past him

so, he makes a mental note every time you add another commission onto your growing list of commissions

he starts to grow annoyed with you when, instead of stopping to take a break for lunch that, you decide to just eat lunch on the way to your next commission

you don't really know what you did to upset him, but kuni seems to start making what your brain interprets as snide comments towards you sometimes

it isn't until your body decides to rebel against you and you fall sick when you realize that he wasn't really making snide comments towards you, thats just how your tired brain interpreted it

he was trying to warn you about pushing yourself to do more than what your body could handle

kuni doesn't really let you do anything until your recovered from being sick

he puts you back on a proper schedule, making sure you get 3 meals a day, all easy on your stomach as to not make you feel worse than you likely already are

he also puts you on a proper sleep schedule, making sure you get between 8-10 hours of sleep a night

kuni's surprisingly nice while your sick. he knows how much more sensitive you are to his usual comments during times like these so he saves the lectures for when your back to feeling 100% better

its ok, tho. he's back to being mean, and more than makes up for it by basically dragging you all over sumeru and inazuma for ascension materials

[usedpidemo]

the craziest christmas party ive ever attended...(storytime!)

God, the flu fucking sucks. Imagine being healthy for three straight years, working out as often as possible, and then the one time you get caught in the middle of a rain, the next day you begin falling ill. Headaches. Body aches. Cough. Dry throat. Completely zapped all my energy and three years of positive momentum just like that.

One week later, after several trips to the hospital, plenty of rest and medications in between, I was beginning to pick myself back up. If there was any silver lining, I lost weight during that time period because I couldn't eat anything. Even so, I still felt...off. I was forgetting things more often than usual, my clarity and awareness would disappear at random times, and it felt like my body was moving on its own. I felt like I had no control over myself.

This is practically the reason why I've kind of disappeared over the last month or so. The illness completely took me down and I've basically forgotten how to write :< Seriously, I feel like the main character in Memento, trying to pick up the pieces of what the hell happened. I'm getting better with each passing day, though, so hopefully this will all be behind me as we enter the holiday season.

Anyway, it's not often that this country gets to host an international entertainment event, let alone one of the premier Korean awards. No idea, I don't really watch these things at all. The idea of seeing so many K-pop acts and actors in one setting appealed to me. Not to mention the actual lineup? NewJeans! Le sserafim! Mother Eunbi! Itzy! Stayc! Kep1er! Kim Sejeong! Many of these acts are either making their stage debut or have returned numerous times. This was easily a must attend. Who knows when we'll get another opportunity like this, especially after the controversy and backlash surrounding the handling of the ceremony.

I got fortunate buying the tickets. To be fair, they were expensive by local concert standards; 50 USD at the very back to 450 for VIP, which is a significant punch up compared to a typical K-pop concert even solo held in the very same arena. Not to mention, the site automatically picks the tickets for you, rather than give buyers the freedom of choice to select specific seats. It also helps that the pricing turned plenty of people off, on top of previous negative experiences in that arena for other fans. Even better was when I actually entered the venue; since there were so many vacant seats during the beginning, we were moved up to the very front, right where the artists were all seated ahead of us.

Honestly. Shitty camera aside, the scenes were priceless.

I admit I mostly went for the female acts, especially my girlies Le sserafim and Eunbi, but I've learned to give so much respect and appreciate everyone who performed. Regardless of their status and popularity, nugu or main event, the crowd was electric and passionate: they would cheer, sing along to the songs, and interact with the performer when they would ask. There wasn't a dull moment all throughout the seven hour program.

Speaking of seven hours, I can see why I don't watch this shit live: it can be taxing to the mind and body. I had to get up during one of the longer awardings, one where they gave it to like 10 different artists just to stretch my legs. I respect what Wonyoung, Daniel, and Hanbin did to host, cause I'm pretty sure either way my legs would end up melting like jelly after everything that had transpired.

Man. NewJeans. Freaking NewJeans. I understand why they're so beloved and revered like they're the second coming: they truly love their fans. And holy shit, the pop from the audience when they entered the venue for the first time, and they were practically the main characters of the show. Every little thing they did was met with raucous applause. They waved at us like a dozen times all throughout the show and were having fun from beginning to end. Also, the crowd went fucking crazy for their performance. OMG into ETA is insanely hard.

AND THE AUDACITY TO FOLLOW UP NEWJEANS WITH MOTHERFUCKING LE SSERAFIM?! Best transition ever! Their set was even better than MAMA: Perfect Night (holy shit that choreo) into Eve, Psyche, and Bluebeard's Wife (holy shit that choreo). Their aura was through the roof! Unsurprisingly, they also had the crowd going nuclear.

I'm just gonna blitz through the section of favorite performances because if I had to describe them all this would be longer than any of my fics in recent times. Kim Jaejoong is a fucking legend and I was shook when he transitioned from balladeer to a goddamn rockstar. The opening with &Team and SB19 with Gento set the tone for the rest of the show. Kep1er's dance breaks. GOD. I wish it wasn't accompanied with flashing lights cause they were so fucking hot. Mother Kwon Eunbi proved why she's goddamn mother! ITZY had me singing fucking Cake of all songs. AKMU was quirky and fun and thats why I love K-pop. Also, the sibling dynamic reminded me of my rather strange and turbulent relationship with my sister. Just a random anecdote.

The ending was where shit was dialed up to eleven. I feel very lukewarm towards Stray Kids' newer releases post Back Door, but they absolutely brought the heat by opening with Maniac. Get Lit then Topline was when they brought everyone to their feet, including us the audience! And if that wasn't enough, here comes BooSeokSoon (BSS) to end the show on the perfect high. Like none of us were sitting down once it ended.

On top of all the performances, there's the interactions too. Oh man. I was hoping that Le sserafim, ITZY, Kep1er, or Eunbi—any combination of these—would be seated on our side, but we got NewJeans. And they kept interacting with us. So much. Every single member noticed me at least once and I somehow got Hanni on camera. Insanity. If that wasn't enough, NMIXX were also placed on our side, and Lily, Haewon, Bae, and Kyujin waved at us multiple times as well, including during the final goodbyes. STAYC's Yoon went around to wave to everyone in the audience during the intermission period, and after their initial entrance into the venue, Sumin and Seeun waved at us. I really wish I had my cameras on but I was so focused on capturing anyone's attention! It worked; I also got the attention of several other groups, from ZeroBaseOne to Tempest to SB19 to Sakurazaka46. They transferred Le sserafim over to our side late into the ceremony and I was hoping they would interact with us; it wasn't meant to be. I don't have any negative feelings cause I still got copiously blessed with so many other acts.

I don't know what's gonna happen moving forward. Considering the backlash and issues that have sprung in regards to the handling of the ceremony, there's a good likelihood an award show of this scale will ever be hosted again. Or maybe the energy shown by the crowd will inspire future ceremonies, like MAMA or Golden Disc. Who knows. What I do know is that everything about this felt like both a dream and a movie. To see many of my favorites, gain respect for groups I hadn't heard of till last week, and just attend an award show in general is a damn good way to end the year.

[weaselle]

i'm really lucky, i am almost never exposed to illnesses because for my job i am either alone in the van or outside walking around with a whole pack of dogs nobody is allowed to get close to.

The only exception to this is when i'm picking up or dropping off dogs, and most of the time nobody is home and i basically just open the front door and the dogs are right there and i put a leash on them.

but Monday, i show up to a house to grab two dogs, and nobody answers the door and the dogs aren't at the door, so i go into the house (totally normal for the job) and walk through the kitchen to where the dog/baby gate is blocking off the living room, and i get there at the same time as the owner who is also coming to open the gate.

and she goes "oh no! keep your distance! I have covid!" and she's not wearing a mask or anything.

So of course i ditch outside right away, and call the dogs to me in the yard, but goddamn, you could have texted me that you had that shit and i wouldn't have walked all the way into your house and if you heard me calling the dogs from your kitchen door you could have put a mask on, jesus.

anyway, guess who tested positive for covid this morning.

and like. i don't even care that i'll basically have the flu (i mean i do care, this is going to suck, but) i'm healthy, i had a different variant of covid a couple years ago, i have no reason to believe this is going to hit me personally any harder than a normal flu.

But i'm going to miss several days of pay. And my boss looses a bunch of money each day i can't work (which endangers my entire job, we're an incredibly small operation) And more than any of that, i live with my elderly father and cancer-riddled mother and hate the thought of risking their lives with this illness.

All of which could have been avoided if this client had simply texted me "i have covid, let me know when you pull up and i'll put the dogs out in the front yard for you"

And it's not like she's unaware of how serious this still is, she got long covid when she caught it a couple years ago and still has complications from it.

This couple are actually my favorite clients, they are both so sweet and usually incredibly thoughtful and good about things, she just, christ she really dropped the ball on this one.

[faraway-sunshine]

Did you ever get colds while you were indoors...? Staying indoors all the time sounds terrible, but also sounds like you'd get less germs at least

I don't remember the last time I got a proper cold, actually, probably due to that. There was one time I caught one off of Mom and was coughing and blowing snot into tissues for a month or so, but that's all. Which is honestly a good thing as my immune system sucks.

What's not so good is that my doctor's worried that my immune system as a result would have been slacking off and I might end up getting more colds soon. So just in case, I got my flu shot a bit early.

(Friday 29th September, 2000, 6:31 AM)

[welldonebeca]

The Afternoon Visit

Summary: When Sansa and her daughter fall sick with the stomach flu, her not-boyfriend surprises her with a special kind of visit. WC: 2.5k words Warnings: Modern AU. Stomach flu. So much fluff, you have no idea. Kids - cause those are a warning.

Sansa hated living in King’s Landing.

She hated it pretty much a couple of days after moving into it, and continued to hate it now, years later.

And, specially, she hated it since she became a mother.

Look, Sansa wanted to have a baby.

She always wanted to be a mother and always cared for her little siblings and hoped she could have her own kid some day. So, when she turned 25 and had the idea of freezing her eggs because her doctor said it was the best time, and she realised that she was stable enough to have a baby… she made a decision.

Sansa couldn’t wait until she found a man with whom she felt comfortable enough and trusted to have a life-long bond. After two and a half failed relationships - the half being Joffrey’s uncle, who she had attempted to go out with the month after breaking up with Harry, but didn’t let it become a relationship once she realised that older single men with PhDs were single for a reason -  a lot of therapy and realising that she couldn’t both have a baby, her job and a partner, without one of those being compromised, she decided to have her baby on her own.

Three and a half months after freezing her eggs, she was in a doctors office and had semen she had purchased inserted into her womb. Her sister was right by her side - because she had heard of some doctor using his own semen to impregnate patients and wanted to make sure they were using the donor sample, which Arya didn’t tear her eyes from until it was inside of Sansa, making things very awkward - and once it was over, she went out to eat sushi, because, hopefully, it would be her last time eating it in at least a year.

Two weeks later, she had a positive pregnancy test, and a happy baby in her belly.

Serena Stark was born in King’s Landing.

Sansa wanted her to be born in Winterfell, but the idea of travelling up North while 9 months pregnant and then coming back with a newborn wasn’t very nice. So, her parents and Arya packed up and flew in, leaving Bran and Rickon with Robb in his home, and came to be present at the birth.

Serena was a big baby, with a big head. Sansa would know, her poor vagina took months to start feeling normal again - Arya still made fun of her for sitting on ice packs for the first month of post-partum.

But it was all worth it.

The nights of not sleeping, the faling asleep with a tit out while breastfeeding, the explosive diapers… everything made sense now that she had her daughter with her.

Having Serena, though, only made her hate King’s Landing more and long to go back to Winterfell. She wanted to show her daughter the snow, the castles, and how it felt to grow up around a loving family.

But the days she undoubtly hated King’s Landing the most was when one of them got sick.

When her baby was born, Sansa’s parents spent the first two months of her post-partum with them, helping her adapt to the new routine with a baby and with holsehold chores, but they had eventually left and she was all alone.

Now, her baby was a growing girl - three and a half - and Sansa was growing with her.

She was also ill after catching whatever stomach bug Serena had caught in her pre-school, and caring for a sick kid while also being sick wasn’t fun at all.

“Come on, baby,” she rubbed her back, trying to get her to eat the canned chicken noodle soup. “It’s good for you.”

Serena just whined into her neck, all fussy.

They had both barely eaten today, and Sansa really didn’t want her kid to be even more sick. Canned soup sucked, but what else could she even do?

A knock on the door made Sansa raised her head to look at it and frown in confusion. Who could it even be?

She adjusted Serena in her lap, and her daughter wrapped her legs around her waist as she dragged herself to check the security cameras outside.

“What?” she mumbled, confused.

It was Jon.

Jon Snow was Sansa’s… not-boyfriend. For the last three months they’d been going out and spending time together, and while she liked him very much, they had both agreed with taking things slow.

He had once passed her house to pick her up for an afternoon date, but had never met Serena because she didn’t want to introduce her baby to meet a man just for him to leave.

But he was right there at the door, carrying a big bag on his shoulder and waiting.

Sansa opened the door unsurely, trying to brush her hair back with her fingers after she undid all the locks she had put there so many years ago, to protect herself, still holding Serena.

He smiled brightly when she opened the door and then looked at the girl thrown all over her.

“Good afternoon,” he greeted her. “I hope this is not a bad time?”

Sansa hesitated a little.

“Well, it’s as not-bad as it can be,” she chuckled. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you.”

Jon quickly raised his bag.

“You told me you two were sick, so I bought some stuff that usually helps with stomach bugs,” he explained. “I thought you’d need it.”

Sansa relaxed, though surprised with the meaning of his visit as she gave him space to come in.

“Jon,” she sighed. “You didn’t have to.”

He scoffed, walking inside.

“As if I could ignore how you needed help right now,” he shook his head. “Where’s your kitchen?”

Sansa pointed the way, following him along, and Serena raised her head from her shoulder, finally outran by her curiosity as Jon set his bag on the counter.

“I mentioned to my neighbour that you were sick and she made you soup,” he told her, taking the container from inside. “It’s still warm, it’s why I didn’t show up earlier.”

Her daughter rubbed her eye with a pout.

“Who are you?” she mumbled.

Jon stopped, and they exchanged a couple of looks. He knew about Serena - and how she was Sansa’s child and Sansa’s only, no other man, woman or non-binary partner involved in her production or raising - from the get go, and was very respectful of her need of taking things slow because of Serena.

“Honey, this is Jon Snow,” she spoke after a minute of being stunned. “He’s my friend. Jon, this is Serena, my daughter.”

Her baby girl just waved at him before hiding her face in her neck again.

“Hello, Serena,” he spoke softly, anyway. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Her daughter just hugged Sansa closer, and she sighed, rubbing her back gently.

“I’m sorry, she is a little fussy,” she apologised. “We are both not feeling like our best selves.”

Jon smiled softly, and she watched as he pulled more things from his bags.

“Tell me, Serena, do you like pedialyte?” he asked.

Jon took four - four - bottles of pedialyte from inside his bag, and a couple of boxes of icepop pedialyte along with other light snacks.

Serena moved, curious again.

“I like blue raspberry,” she told him, and he showed her the blue bottle.

“I got it for you,” he told her. “And some fruits too. Your mother told me you like berries.”

She just nodded, and Sansa watched them, surprised.

“Do you want to have a little bit now?” he offered. “I can cut them up for you.”

Sansa looked down at Serena, and she nodded slowly.

“Okay. And you, Sansa?”

She looked back at him, and Jon was raising his eyebrows at her.

“Me?”

“I’ll put the soup in a bowl for you,” he told her. “You need to eat too.”

She looked down, a little embarrassed. With needing to care for Serena, she didn’t even remember to eat.

“Thank you,” she spoke softly.

He just nodded along.

“Sit a little,” he instructed her. “You two need to let your body rest. I can take care of this bit.”

She did, turning the TV on and put Bluey on and cuddling your girl as she sucked on her finger, watching the Australian show. They made it through a whole episode before Jon arrived in the living room with two bowls and a sippy cup, setting them down on the low table in front of the TV.

“Here you go,” he spoke gently. “And I got your blue rasberry punch, too.”

Serena eyed him with hesitance, and Sansa rubbed her back a little bit.

“Why don’t you drink a little sip?” she offered. “It’s in your favourite cup.”

Jon took the cup, and showed it to her with a little friendly smile, waiting quietly.

“You don’t have to drink it all,” he assured her.

Serena reached for him slowly, taking the sippy cup, and drank from it slowly as they watched her and the show played on the TV, still half attached to Sansa.

She put the cup down, and Jon picked it up before giving her the bowl, and she could see it had strawberries, blueberries, rasberries and grapes inside, all cut in a half for practical reasons and looking very yummy, and - to Sansa’s relief - her daughter also seemed interested in it, grabbing little pieces and eating slowly while still in her arms.

“Well done, honey,” she kissed her sweaty temple, quickly spitting out some of her hair.

Jon, now seated on the floor, looked up at her face.

“She looks like a little copy of you,” he chuckled.

Sansa smiled a little. Everyone always told her that. Serena had all her Tully features, with her red wavy hair and sky-blue eyes, just like all of her uncles did. Her mother’s genes were very strong.

Jon picked up the soup bowl, and Sansa grimaced a bit.

“I don’t think think I have enough free hands for that.”

He looked down at the bowl and grimaced, and she chuckled, but he quickly stood up with it.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” he told her.

Jon left for the the kichen and came back a couple of minutes later with a coffee mug and the bowl half empty.

“There you go,” he gave it to her. “One hand soup.”

Sansa giggled a little, feeling a bit more relaxed now.

“Let me know when you need the refil,” he told her, standing up. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go wash the dishes now.”

Her eyes widened.

He was going to do what?

“What?” she asked, holding Serena close and putting the mug down. “Jon, no!”

He was quick to raise his hand, shaking it and he shook his head.

“Hey, I”m here to help,” he told her. “You two need to rest and hydrate and I can do a few chores while you do.”

She stared at him, not knowing what to say.

Aside from her family, no one had ever offered to help her like this.

“You don’t have to,” she told him. “You’ve already done a lot.”

He just gave her a smile.

“I want to do it,” he told her simply. “Don’t worry.”

He left back to the kichen, and Sansa could only stare on his way out before Serena poked her.

“Bluey, mummy,” she requested.

She sat back and pressed play on the TV show, reaching for her soup and drinking it. It was very nice, almost like her mother’s soup.

Her daughter watched the show as she ate, but Sansa couldn’t quite focused on the show, seeing Jon as he cleaned up her kichen, not seeming bothered at the least with the work.

Serena finished eating, and drank her pedialyte quietly before curling against Sansa, all sleepy, and she just held her close, grateful that she was finally resting. Their morning had been exhausting, to say the least.

She didn’t even notice she had dozed off herself until she felt something over her, and opened ther eyes, startled, to find Jon covering the two of them with a blanket.

“It’s alright,” he assured her. “Just me.”

Sansa smiled a little, yawning, and Jon pushed her hair back.

“I took the liberty of doing the laundry,” he whispered. “And it’s drying now.”

She flushed, a little embarrassed, but feeling something else too.

Jon was the sweetest man she had ever gone out with, and probably the sweetest man she had ever met.

She didn’t know a single man who would go out of his way like this just to get food and medicine to her, and even less do her dishes and her laundry.

“I’m making dinner for you,” he told her. “Some smash potatoes and turkey, nothing big.”

Sansa moved a hand to her face. God, she probably looked like such a mess right now.

“Jon, you didn’t have to,” she repeated. “I don’t even know what to say!”

He smiled, and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Just focus on getting better,” he said simply. “Eat, and make sure this pretty lady eats too. If she’s anything like me, she is going to love the icepops so much she’ll eat three or four of them at once if you let her, but I’m sure you know when to give them.”

She nodded a little. Yes, her doctor had given her some instructions about that.

“Have some too,” he instructed. “And rest. I can have lunch delivered tomorrow if you want to, or…”

He hesitated, and she looked into his eyes, a little eager now.

“Or?”

Jon flushed a bit.

“I could come too?” he asked.

Sansa’s cheeks felt hot.

“I’m sick,” she reminded him. “I don’t want you to catch it.”

His lips curled in a little smile.

“It’s alright,” he assured her. “Don’t worry about that.”

Sansa watched his eyes for a moment and bit her lower lip.

“You could come,” she agreed. “If you want to, of course. I’m sure Serena will be a little nicer to talk to too.”

Jon grined, looking a little happy, and scratched the back of his neck.

“Would you mind if I brought her some you?” he asked. “I saw this wolf plush, I didn’t know if you would be okay if I did.”

Her eyes widened a bit.

“You can,” she agreed quickly. “I’m sure she will love it. She loves plushies.”

Jon nodded, and stood a little straighter.

“Okay,” he nodded. “I’ll go check the potatoes now. You go rest.”

He walked back with a little smile on his lips, and she watched him go, surprised, and looked down at Serena.

She had been worried about introducing him to her daughter for so long because she was afraid he would be just like all of the other men she had tried to date in her life, but Jon was different.

He was… special. In the best of ways.

. . .

"The Afternoon Visit" was posted on my Patreon back in October 2022! To read have early access to my stories, consider subscribing to my page! It's just $2 a month, and it helps a lot!

. . .

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[spaceumbredoggos]

So much for stardust Chapter Thirteen

Kenz’s POV:

The sound of Dipper’s coughing woke me up. I noticed that Ford wasn’t in the room. I looked at the couch and saw a brand new phone right beside me. It wasn’t an android or IPhone, but a new phone that’s Ford’s unique invention. I immediately started setting it up with my old contacts, as well as the new contacts.

I went upstairs and noticed Mabel and Wendy chatting. “So if Pokémon are technically the animals of their universe, does that mean it’s considered bestiality and zoophilic to fuck one? Is the vaporeon copypasta bestiality?”

I choked on my water at Mabel’s abrupt sentence and breathed a sigh of relief that there were no kids in the room. “I’m not a hundred percent sure, I mean, in the Japanese version of the Sinnoh games, a library book said that people used to marry Pokemon.”

Why the fuck are they having this conversation? I immediately left the room, walking into the living room. Dipper was loudly blowing his nose. “Dipper. Can you believe what your sister is talking about?”

“They’ve been having this discussion all morning.” Dipper’s voice was nasally and scratchy. I had to stifle my laugh because it kept cracking like a kindergartener’s. “What brought this up?”

“Someone asked if SpongeBob was a furry, so it escalated from there. It was an interesting morning. Also, we found your stash of—”

“Have you guys been going through my stuff?” I grumbled, suddenly aware that I have been out of commission the entire week and haven’t got a chance to move in. “We may have had to in order to set up your room. We didn’t find anything gross, but we found a lot of cringy OC’s in your art, which were well drawn.”

“Why would I keep anything sus within reach of you hooligans?” Dipper burst out laughing so hard that he started to cough again. “I’m going to make my fucking breakfast. If I hear a single one of you fuckers shout the vaporeon copypasta, I’ll scalp you and hang those scalps to scare the coyotes.”

I went into the kitchen, opening the cupboards to get some cereal, only for a bunch of ping pong balls to fall out. “What the fuck?”

“Oops. That was supposed to be for Soos.” Stan was laughing his ass off. “You know he’s sick with the flu? This is the last thing he needs!!!” I grabbed the cereal and poured it, then the milk, into the bowl. I started eating when Wendy walked in. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I finished my food and washed my bowl in the sink, then sat back down. I sat down on the couch, then noticed Dipper was passed out on the couch. He was hardly breathing and his breaths were raspy and distressed. “Shit.” I put my phone down and felt Dipper’s forehead. “He’s burning up. Someone has to get him some medicine. Where’s Ford when you need him?”

I heard him cough in his room. “Out sick.” Wendy coughed, wiping her nose. “They’re dropping like flies.” I paced back and forth. “Someone should go and get some medicine from CVS.”

“I’ll do it.” Wendy volunteered, but I shook my head. “You look pale. You should head home.”

“But—“

“I’ll cover your shift. Mabel is the only one who hasn’t caught this besides me. I’ll send her to get the medicine. Go home and rest.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s time I start beating my weight around here.” I put my foot down, heading to the cash register. “Have you even worked retail before?”

“It doesn’t matter. You can’t work sick. You look like you walked out of your own open casket funeral. This is a bad flu, as in, it sucks more than anything. If it can knock out Dipper cold, it’s gonna get you. I’m not letting you take this chance.”

Wendy paused as she realized that I wasn’t backing down. “Fine.” She packed up her things and went home as I put on a name tag and sat at the register. I watched a pair of toddlers sticking their fingers in the gnome cage. I walked up to the toddlers, but before I can react, one of them got bitten and started bawling. I bolted over to the ice chest and grabbed some ice and disinfectant, as well as a first aid kit. I rubbed the toddler’s back and gave him a hug. “It’s okay. That gnome was scary, wasn’t it? Probably not a good idea to stick your hand in there.” I bandaged the toddler’s hand before a woman bolted up to me and swatted me away. “Ouch.”

“What the fuck are you doing to my kid, you pervert!!!!” The woman had a typical Karen haircut and she picked up her child, who started bawling again. “Please refrain from using that type of language in front of your kids, ma’am. He simply stuck his hand in the gnome cage and got bitten. I treated the injury with ice, an antiseptic and anti-gnome serum, then wrapped it with the bandage. But I had to calm him down first.”

“Kenz was really nice. They even gave me a lolly!!!”

“UNACCEPTABLE!!! YOU QUEER FOLK MAKE ME SICK!!! LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER TO GET A REFUND OR I WILL SUE YOU FOR GROOMING, YOU PREDATOR!!!”

Suddenly, I could see my father’s ice blue eyes staring back at me. Tears welled up in my face as the woman got out her phone and started filming. Rage bubbled beneath the surface, but I kept my cool and turned around. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, Ma’am!!!”

“I am not a ma’am. I have no gender.”

“You are a Ma’am. God made you a woman, so be one!!!” The Karen slapped me across my face, knocking me down as I stared at her. Does she even know where she is? Gravity Falls has the highest queer population in the entire United States. Possibly the world. It’s the only US town that bans anyone remotely homophobic. How did she get in?

I tried to stand up, but I was smacked down again. “Come on, Timmy and Carter. We’re leaving this freak town. Let me call my lawyer.”

“But mommy, Kenz was—“

“A failure to society who only works retail in this town of freaks. Look at their TikTok and instagram. They’re a furry. I bet they use the litterbox and identify as a cat.”

I couldn’t hold back my rant any longer. “Y’know if you kids did half the research I did, you’d know that most the furry stereotypes are false, and furries with fursuits have enough money to be considered members of congress. A furry is just a fandom, like Star Trek and Pokemon. It’s basically people who like anthro animals, which have been a thing in human society since the dawn of time. I’m sure that as long as humanity has existed, furries have also existed, just in a different form. Now for individuals that NONPHYSICALLY, I repeat, NONPHYSICALLY, identify as animals or other species, that’s therians and other kin, which also has existed as long as there have been humans. People who physically identify as animals and actually use litter boxes actually have clinical zooanthropy and need to seek psychiatric help.”

“That’s something a furry would say—“

“And the whole litterbox thing. That’s a hoax spread by transphobic Tucker Carlsons who advocate for the legal genocide of innocent people who don’t fit the cishetero norm. I can’t believe that as a society we allow rich white geriatric pigs to stay in charge whilst our youth is struggling on the streets. Those pigs brand it as a substance abuse issue when it’s so much fucking more. It’s so fucking easy for anyone who doesn’t have an established wealth in this country to end up homeless, it’s sickening. Especially if you’re a minority.” I stood my ground, but the Karen wasn’t budging at all. “How dare you use Tucker Carlson’s name in that light!!! Shame on you!!! You’ll burn in hell for spreading your queer agenda.”

I kept my cool until the Karen smacked me in the face with her purse so hard that my ears rang and my nose bled. I laid on the floor as the Karen ran away towards the door. Feeling every sense of rationality fade from me, I rushed at the Karen and bit her on the forearm. She swiped me off and pepper sprayed me in the eyes, blinding me as I laid on the floor in a daze. I didn’t even realize that I was on all fours. I also failed to notice that I was a slate grey almost black wolf like creature with electric blue umbreon-like rings on my ears, forehead, tail, and legs, with black draconic like wings with electric blue rings. My wrists and ankles had barbs as well as my tail and wings. The thing that hinted me of the transformation was the Karen’s scream of terror. “FUR FREAK!!!” She immediately started calling 911 as I stood up, seeing my reflection in the mirror. No no no no no.

Everything was going wrong as I bolted outside, fleeing into the woods. I climbed up a tree all the way to the top, trying to force myself to transform back. “No. This is just a dream! A fever dream!! Yeah. I got sick with the flu too! I’m just passed out on the couch and having a fever dream!!!” I bit at my foreleg, and the pain was real. “Pain doesn’t prove anything.” I bit myself again, and this time, I had realized that this was indeed happening.

“No no no. The prophecy can’t be true. I have to turn back!!!” I fell out of the tree and realized that I didn’t break anything. “Fuck!!!” I then realized that a one armed lady with grey hair and one amber and one grey eye wearing a red shirt and black patchy pants holding a staff had broken my fall.

“Hey!!! Watch where you’re going!!” I bolted off before realizing that I had caught my neck in a snare. No no no!!!

[stormboundscholar]

Some small challenges

October 22, 23 and 24, Days 6,7,8/100 of Productivity

Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog. Sorry, I've been neglecting writing here again but I sadly just had too much on my plate the last few days. I will split this entry again, one part of it will be about how much I worked and one part will be like a diary. Let's get started with my studies.

Sunday:

-At least 2 hours of geometry, and around 3 hours of revising topics. I did some more stuff (that I sadly don't remember the topics of) and if I recall correctly I reached my study goals but as I didn't record the day properly, I sadly can't say much.

Monday:

3 Hours of chemistry

1 hour of Literature

1 Hour of Maths (I practiced with some equations)

Today:

1 Hour of Literature

1 hour of maths

3 hours of biology (endocrine system)

1 hour of history (ww1)

Well, now we can get into the good part. Let's chat a little.

I have sadly been feeling a little down the last couple of days. I caught a nasty flu, which is honestly pretty tiring just by itself, and it's been effecting other parts of my life. I am always a little exhausted which makes everything harder. I also had a semi important test, and I butchered it thanks to the flu. Apparently, its hard to concentrate when your nose is running like a fking waterfall!! I got an 87 percent, (not too bad actually) but the drop from 95 percent to this score hurt a little.

I also argued with a usually nice teacher over no reason today, which sucks. I hope that they aren't too mad about it, even if I am right I wouldn't want to make them sad.

Well, Things are certainly a little more challenging than usual for now. I have been trying to keep up though. I am studying as much as I can, and even though it has been a little less productive than usual I still spent a good amount of time at least trying to study! I also hope that I can get well soon if I continue taking my medications, so we should hopefully be back on track soon.

Well, that's all for now. Good night everyone and good luck!

[todayisafridaynight]

So the other day I sprained my knee 💀💀 not really in my Top Ten Coincidences but it is a little funny... At Any Rate I'm glad your wrist support glove is helping and I hope the rest of your recovery is smooth :) Would be very excited to see the sick fic you had in mind! (And Also Sorry For Contributing Nothing To AraSawa)

BTW I wanted to introduce you to my new silly little guy Yuhei Kirihara (they told him he sucked at drawing </3)

I'm clipping things as I go to show you later because this is the most insane line delivery I've ever heard from Tsutsumi But Also he's definitely cute tier list material so far

WDYM YOU SPRAINED YOUR KNEE (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) some news is better than no news tho: im relieved you didnt succumb to the flu you caught last week, im happy to hear from you (❁´◡`❁) knee bit sucks tho im SO so sorry howdoesthatevenhappen--

AH BUT THE FIC i was thinking on whose pov to write it from all last night but now that I Think i know which one to go with im excited to start writin it soon (๑•̀ㅂ•́)✧ AND NO SUCH THING AS 'NOT CONTRIBUTIN' ARE YOU KIDDIN your enthusiasm alone's made me waaaaay more confident about sharin art and the sor, not to mention chattin with me and Undoubtedly giving me an idea. or fifty-- sure id been A Lil Silly bout em beforehand, but havin someone as energetic bout em as me def gives me a lot of motivation to share more, so ty for all you do as always ♪(´▽｀) i consider that contribution anyhow.. its very important to me in my opinion...

OH BUT HE SEEMS CUTE tbf i can be won over on a ttm chara so long as i see him smilin... my bias my weakness.. MOST interested to see more bout this one youre watchin when you got the time 👁️👁️ espwheniverunoutofnakaimediatowatch--

[bwabbitv3s]

I caught Covid19 on the weekend. This is day four of being sick and it has sucked, but been not all that bad more like a bad cold or mild flu. Biggest pain is my sore throat which feels like I decided to gargle glass. I also have a muted sense of taste which is odd.

I have been mostly stuck at home but been able to take Benji out for his walks in the park. The park is mostly deserted and I have been wearing a mask.

Since I have been home aside from that I have taken the time to work on a Krampus hat while watching one of my favorite youtube channels Sorted Food. They have a playlist for their entire year which I have been listening to in order.

[shadowfromthestarlight]

self-pity party:

i don’t have it in me to celebrate or even be a remotely pleasant person right now. i had a cold starting on december 11th, which never progressed into anything worse but never entirely went away, then i must have caught something on the way to florida on the 23rd, because on christmas day i came down with what felt like a cross between covid and strep throat (maybe it was lol; i didn’t test). eating and drinking became a chore because of my swollen lymph nodes. my whole body hurt. i got a plush toy to remind me of my cat because i wished i could have my cat to cuddle with. the sore throat and aches gave way to a massive sinus infection. on wednesday morning, everything just started coming out. i had to work, but i also had to blow my nose every couple of minutes. falling asleep was hard because it was hard to breathe from the congestion. normal cold & flu medicine didn’t help. by friday night, i’d lost my voice. saturday morning, my eye hurt and there was never-ending green gunk coming out, my voice hadn’t improved, the congestion hadn’t improved, the sinus pressure was barely tolerable.

i spent the last day of 2022 feeling the worst i’d felt all year, unable to speak in anything above a hoarse whisper, a never-ending headache and pain all over my face, my eye clogged with goop, weak and fatigued from days of illness. i spent three hours of the afternoon waiting to get prescribed antibiotics at an urgent care. my head throbbed more and more as the night wore on. i was in so much pain and discomfort and frustration from being sick for three weeks and all-around misery that i wished i was a child so it would be okay to fall on the floor and scream. i watched the fireworks (at least 2 dozen displays) from the balcony and kissed my plush toy and went to bed. 

medicine and sleep marginally improved things; i can now think without a pounding headache and my eye isn’t oozing every minute. i might be able to travel home without people freaking out because i look like i’m patient zero for the next pandemic. i can still barely talk. i woke up coughing from post-nasal drip. i’m so over it. i’m over being asked how i feel, i’m over being told what to do to feel better, i’m over being asked if i’ve taken my medicine, in fact i would like to not be spoken to at all. i just want to go home, pull the covers over my face, and hide in the dark with my cat.

[i don’t even feel happy about the new year; i actually feel nothing much at all. i had never looked forward to 2023 anyway because i didn’t like the number. besides, from a global standpoint, it’s going to suck. we have possibly the greatest concentration of “leaders” who don’t know how to lead in human history. they’re all either weak-willed, stupid, or just plain psychopathic. there will be zero accountability for the people who just from a moral standpoint deserve to be hanged for crimes against humanity over the past three years. they’ll just come up with creative new ways to abuse us. can’t wait to see what the next annual propaganda campaign is!]

i feel awful because i’m a walker and a hiker and a step counter and i’ve barely been able to do anything for days. i haven’t had 10K steps since the 22nd. i’ve had one meal i would consider satisfying in the entire past week. i look scrawny. i have to do a lot in january to make up for it, but right now, instead of excited, i just feel exhausted.  

i think i’m gonna try crying and see if that helps get more... you know... out. 

happy new year same shit, different digits. enjoy it while you can, before WWIII hits. 

i might be back in a few days. idk.

[thethornpatch]

Spicy, long, hot farmgirl take incoming! Because context matters, I am referring exclusively to farm cats that are spayed/neutered and provided with preventative treatments and medical care appropriate for their increased risk of exposure to various illnesses. As any responsible farmer does with all of their animals. I am also talking about larger farm facilities, particularly those that care for larger livestock, not back-yard or small hobby farms.

First, to their efficacy and environmental impact. tldr; barn cats provide excellent pest control and do not have the same impact on natural ecosystems as feral or free-roaming pet cats.

With the extremely rare exception, livestock farms are not natural and balanced ecosystems. When viewed as ecosystems they are extremely unbalanced and require intensive management to not instantly collapse in a variety of interesting ways. Pest management is an extremely important one of those ways. Most people are familiar with the destructive nature and health risks of pest rodent populations, but people who haven't worked in barns often don't realize that birds like barn swallows can pose even higher health hazards. Swallow populations in a barn can quickly explode and, while we appreciate their insect consumption, the poop gets everywhere and is a disease vector for nearly every species, not to mention the risk of bird flu. And again, let me emphasize, this is not a natural population of varied native songbirds, I am talking about a human created situation where there is a high population of a single species that poses serious health risks.

What management options are their for pest (flighted) birds? As we know from the devastation they can cause in natural habitats, cats are excellent birders, and pretty much the best option for control. The next best option would probably be shooting them, which obviously has it's own serious drawbacks in a barn environment. (Personally I have wondered about the viability of pest control with rat snakes, but even if it worked that would have its own drawbacks). Natural predators that don't pose risks to livestock, such as snakes and birds of prey are helpful but do not consume enough to control the pest population of larger farms. Due to their decent from a social species, cats will kill more than they can eat, which makes them ideal for pest control. Responsible management also means balancing the number of cats (and their individual hunting efficacy) so that they find plenty of easy prey in the barn and have minimal temptation to hunt the more difficult non-pest prey in the surrounding area. Alright, but what about risks to the cats? tldr; It's far from a safe life but beats the hell out of feral or dead As with with pretty much every job on a farm, barn cat life is undeniably high risk, even with responsible management and health care. Coyotes, fisher-cats, raptors, cars, farm equipment, dogs people insist will get along fine with cats... it's a long list of dangers. I've known a lot of farm cats, a number lived well into their teens, one was still going strong at twenty last I checked. But there have also been quite a few that disappear in under six months (though usually it's impossible to tell whether they died or returned to a feral lifestyle). This sucks, and is absolutely not a life I would recommend for any cat that has the option to be a household pet. However, the fact that there are an overabundance of feral cats that can not find pet homes after they are caught, and would otherwise be euthanized, means that there is a solution that is both practical and ethical. As a barn cat the cat gets a chance at survival (with health care and kibble as perks!) and the barn gets a cat that has already proved it passes a minimum standard for survival and hunting.

But a rat hunting dog would be better! tldr: I love dogs, but no.

I adore having a good rat hunting dog on a farm, and they can fill an important pest control niche, but it is not the same as a cat's. The most obvious difference is they can't control a bird population. For rodents, most ratters instinctual hunting technique is to dig out nests or drag larger rodents out of their dens. This makes them very good at controlling field pests like ground hogs, but less effective (if not less enthusiastic) at catching pests who live within walls or floors of a structure. They are also diurnal, and much less effective at catching critters that keep a more nocturnal schedule. While dogs are suited for taking on larger prey than cats can, such as rats and groundhogs, they are also much more likely to pursue or confront animals that present a danger to them, such as potentially venomous snakes, porcupines, fisher cats or coyotes. They are also at much higher risk of injury from farm animals and equipment if not exceptionally trained and closely supervised. Lastly, with the exception of some breeds of herd protectors, dogs can not be treated like independent contractors. They have MUCH higher care needs than a cat. Dogs need an extremely high amount of very consistent training, and anyone who has worked with dogs bred for hunting can tell you they require the *high* end of that spectrum for things that require overcoming their prey instinct, like recall when they've almost caught that skunk and "don't eat the mcnuggets on legs". They need to come home with you at the end of the day, they need pack bonding and emotional enrichment, all things that make them wonderful companions, but when it comes to care they are more like having a child than an employee.

I'mma stop rambling now, thanks for reading my special interest farm management info dump!

you tell a bitch to keep their cat indoors and suddenly their town is the first in the world to have eradicated every viral, bacterial and parasitic disease, they invented completely harmless cars, dogs and predators dont exist either but somehow the native songbird population is fine since the cats in this place have lost the hunting instinct, there's no pollutants or toxic plants and human cruelty has ceased to exist. and mr mittens has a chip in his brain that will explode if he doesnt go outside 10 hours of the day

[theofficefantasyfootball]

WEEK 3 - Wrap Up

KELCE / SWIFT - Why?

So the big news in the NFL this week was obviously are Kelce and Taylor real? She went to the game. She sat next to his mom. They drove off together in a "very orchestrated" convertible. So, yeah they must be together. But why? Is it a marketing plan put together by the Pfizer people so that Taylor's fan base will want to listen to Kelce on the non-stop commercial urging us all to get the covid vaccine and the flu shot at the same time? Is it to keep Taylor's name out there for the SuperBowl half time show so when she does it - football fans love her? Are is it as simple as Taylor wanting to "feel tiny" like SNL set up in the video above? Honestly, I don't know. But, it's gonna be fun to watch and find out! Now, on to week 3 wrap ups!

TuPADRE vs TRADE WITH ME

Hey! TuPadre figured out how to load the gun! Boom! Just like that in week 3 they come away with a quick win against Trade with Me. Poor Brett. Loses Survivor. Only puts up 51 points total from his team. I guess it's better than losing by .50 of a point. Gully had great performances this week from Watson, Moss (zack not randy), Deebo, and Tyler Bass. Going into Monday night he still has Higgins to play. Probably won't get high point but week 3 goes down as a win for TuPadre and Son. Nice Win Gully! Congrats. Brett moves to 1-2.

MR AWESOME vs TREE HUGGERS

What else can be said. Scott Krippayne is finding Fantasy Football EASY this season. 3-0 start and came in this week with not only the high point of the week with 156.76 but also the high point of the season! I am just glad to not have to send it to the Moose! Nice win Scott! Devante with 34, Bills D with 36 (almost had a shut out and would have bumped it up to 46), hell even his kicker had 18 and I don't think he picked him up in round 8. NICE! Now, where there is a winner there is a loser...and once again that loser is Gabe Scott. Gabe moves to 0-3. I am not going to dig into the details. He just scored less than Scott...so he loses. Sorry Gabe. Next week you face Kyle Allmendinger who used up all his points this week so you have a good shot!

MALIK MY BALLS vs BACKDOOR BANDITS

Well, this sucks. Kyle is done for the week...finishing with 131. I am down 50 points with 4 to play on the two MNF games (Mixon, Evans, Atwell and Bengals Defense). 50 divided by 4 is 12.5 points per player. That's what I have to accomplish. Kyle had a great week from Lamar (33), Jefferson (25), Patriots D (17) and really had double digit performances from everyone but Brandin Cooks so if I can pull out the win it will be epic. I chose this GIF because whatever happens that will by my expression. At half time of the Bengals/Rams game it all looks promising...I am down 10...but time is running out for Evans who already has a dropped TD. Also had a TD from Atwell - taken away cause his heal touched the out of bounds line...and so 5 min left in the game i am down 1.06. At the two min warning I am up by .54 - but with a last min Atwell TD - I won 135 to 131. Shout out to Kyle for being a cool competitor this week. Fun Win for me - hard loss for him.

MOOSES ON THE LOOSES vs HOWARD

So this one is a crazy match up. Moose who is currently undefeated has 99.78 but has one of the most explosive rookie WR's in the game yet to play - Puka Nacua. Howard has 65.4 points going into the Monday night matchups but has 5 yet to play - Kyren Williams, Chase, Goedert, Swift and kicker for the Bengal - McPhearson. I am thinking with it being the NFL week of Taylor Swift - DeAndre Swift might have a big night (which he did) and help Howard get this to a close game with the Moose by nights end. A half time update...Nacua has been held to 35 yards and Howard has taken the lead by 1 point. But as the game went on - and Jamaar Chase got on fire - Howard could not be caught. Rob Howard takes away the perfect season from the Moose! Great job Rob. Congrats. What a night!

FUNK GUY vs LANAKILA

This one should be a no brainer but I can see where Funk Guy might be a bit nervous. He is down 15 but he has Jalen Hurts left to play...facing Cliff who still has the Eagles star kicker Jake Elliott. Can Elliott put up double digits numbers? Can Hurts have multiple rushing TDs and rush for 100 yards and throw for 300 yards? Will it be a blow out or a close one? Well, I can answer that now. It was a close one and even though Hurts put up 21 and had a great game, the kicker put up 11! So Funk Guy loses in another very close one. Cliff with an awesome week from Mahomes with 31, Olave with 15 and a game winning night from his kicker!

LONG LEFT BALLERS vs BOOMER SOONER

Well, I am not going to post what comes up when I search the GIF using the word "Tight"...as in - it's going to be a tight game. The night started out - with Stu with 92 and Bebo with 91. Stu has Rachaad White and Bebo with DeVonta Smith. 1 point difference. 1 player left for each guy. This one really didn't move much. By the end of the Eagles game...Stu only had 4 points from White but Bebo still had Higbee playing in the LA game and Higbee already put up 5 so, Bebo clinched early in the night. Bebo Norman, like Scott Krippayne is undefeated after week 3. Stu moves to 1-2. Great game guys.

SURVIVOR

Bye Brett. Bye Bebo...but who is left? We are down to 7. Krippayne, Mitch, Gully, Howard, Dana, Stu and Kyle. Good luck in week 4!

CHEERLEADER OF THE WEEK

Noella Maria of the Oakland Raiders is our featured cheerleader tonight. Noella is a freelance makeup artist and from her instagram looks like she loves going to Coachella, Disneyland and hanging with her friends. I am thinking perfect for Brett Rutledge. Let's go!

[tweetthang96]

Well it happened. I finally caught the ‘rona after outrunning it for 3 years. Y’all, I feel like I got hit by a bus and this is a mild case. I’m still breathing fine, though I have a lot of “goop” as my roommate puts it.

I do not wish this hell on anyone. Which I already knew but confirmation sucks.

Did have to laugh, though, at the urgent care doc telling me congrats on joining the club. And accepted that, yeah, this is probably the first of many times I will have covid-19 over my lifetime because it’s becoming endemic like the flu. Also very grateful I don’t have the flu and corona.

Please get vaccinated if you have not, and wear a mask. Also get your boosters.

[noxs-mun]

I mean with all the guilt trip posts there are I can see where they are coming from but at the same time yeah, disabled people get shat on by society too much already.

(I'd like to not be so used to fighting to get basic needs met myself)

But seriously I had covid once from a roommate who got it from somebody who didn't mask. So now my already terrible asthma is extra fucked and I just burst into coughing fits at seemingly random now and it fucking sucks.

Not too long ago I ended up with the flu the same way. Also I caught both of these after getting the vaccines which tbh softened how bad it hit me but still It could of been avoided.

Plus the whole going in to places when your obviously sick needs to fucking stop, but that's a whole nother can of worms.

people will agree w posts about how we need to protect vulnerable people all day until they find out that it sometimes means they'll be mildly inconvenienced