#also can you tell that i started rambling bc im bored LMAO

[linawritestwst]

hiiii congrats on 1k! i'd like to request a matchup please~

i go by she/they pronouns. aside from playing games and watching anime, i like reading books, specifically YA romance novels since im basic XD one of my main hobbies include experimenting w coffee beans too. (i've been obsessed with them since the pandemic started that i can probably make a 2 hr presentation on the history of coffee lmao jk) ANYWAY, i dont really know much abt my personality outside of personality types: i'm an infp, type 9w1 enneagram which is like being the peacemaker in a friend group bc i dont like confrontation lol. with that, i usually look assertiveness and decisiveness for a partner bc i cant have someone whos passive and agreeable as me HSHDHDHSJ but ofc, them being selfish is a whole diff thing. im usually the listener since im not good at making conversations and ppl find it easy to open up to me (prob bc i dont talk in the first place AHDHSHDHHS). but it would be good if my partner can hold up a conversation for us or at least let me feel comfortable to them that i can actually ramble and talk a lot :) my love language is giving gifts bc i think its nice to see something and immediately think of ur loved one like thats so cute!!

also, im okay with anyone from any dorm aside from the first years since theyre still a bit young~ i hope this is not too vague and too long. thank you so much and i hope more readers can find your writings!

hi, thank you so much for your kind words and i hope you like your matchup!!

also i'm so sorry for being so slow with matchups, i have exams coming up and i have to study a lot 😔😔

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

rook hunt!

i'll explain why i chose him:

this guy wouldn't think you're basic at all! everything about you is special to him and even if most people think your interests are "boring", he says that there's something beautiful about you liking popular things. come on, you like romance novels, that's so cute! he would be very curious to hear about your experiments with coffee beans as well and you can tell him everything you know about them, he will listen and he will genuinely find it extremely interesting. and your passion about this topic makes it even more beautiful for him.

rook would admire you being the peacemaker, because it means that you're a kind and caring person and it makes you even more beautiful in his eyes. you're already perfect to him, but if you want to become more confident, he would be glad to help! though he can also just be there in case you need someone to make a decision for you or someone who's not as passive.. but this man also can easily go "all of these look/sound nice <3" when you have to choose something, so.. good luck with that.

rook doesn't mind doing all the talking, since.. you know. he talks a lot. however, he would love to hear your thoughts and opinions more often, so in case you need to talk to him about something, he's all ears! he will react to everything you say and he will express his own thoughts about these topics as well, but he will try his best not to interrupt you and if he does, please forgive him, he gets very excited when he's able to spend time with you like this and get to know you better. he would love the gifts you give him too, the fact that you saw something and it reminded you of him warms his heart and makes him so happy!

[zumicho]

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE LONG ASKS BC I DO TOO!!! LIKE AS A YAPPER I HAVE THINGS TO SAY AND I WILL SAY THEM 🔫🔫🔫 ANYWAYS!!!! LAST ASK OF THE DAY BEFORE I FINISH EATING AND RAWDOG TWO CHAPTERS OF CHEM NOTES AND THEN MORE I HOPE

ONE THING I NOTICED IS THAT IM ALWAYS EATINF WHILE SENDINF ASKS TO PEOPLE?? LIKE IM SENDING AN ASK TO NESS AND IM EATING LUNCH OR BREAKFAST OR SOMETHINF AND EVEN NOW!! IM EATING LUNCH🫢🫢🫢

anyways just remembered i have school on saturday i think i shall Cry BUT CONTINUING

about the movies!! at heart ive always been a marvel baby <- one of the reasons why i didnt branch out of anything really but i love love love marvel sm!! or i love the older movies.. new ones just dont hit the same

like last month i saw your ask title (underoos) and so i watched the clip from civil war and almost SOBBED the nostalgia omfg WHATS UR FAVOURITE MARVEL MOVIE btw!! mine is the winter soldier <333 or age of ultron or the original avengers OR RAGNAROK OR THE GUARDIANS I LOVE THE GUARDIANS SM ALL THEIR MOVIES R 10/10 ALWAYS as u can see i was like hardcore a fan <3 irs so embarrassing like i have marvel tshirts and a (broken) mjolnir keychain and a bunch of original comics and a thor funko and a loki badge pin thing (but i lost?? it?? i think????) AND I READ LIKE AT LEAST 500 COMIC ISSUES OVER 2020-2022 AND THE SHOWS WERE ALSO<3333 like me and my sister would watch them together ,, good times..

I WENT OFF ON SUCH A TANGENT WHAT THE HECK!!!! I WAS GOING TO SAY recently i watched american psycho and it was like,, cool i enjoyed it except for the smex and also my english teacher talking about health and giving us unnecessary unasked for therapy(?( bc i was actually watching it in (online) english class. ALSO I STARTED WTACHING MEAN GIRKS TODAY BC ONLINE CLASS AGAIN BUT THEN THE ENGLISH TEACHER GOT WEIRD SO I HAD TO LOCK IN TO SAVE THE CLASS (i succeeded)

MY BIRTHDAY IS MARCH 16TH IT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO URS AND MAYBE IM WEIRD FOR THIS BUT WHENEVER SOMEONE TELLS ME THEIR BDAY I (INVOLUNTARILY) CALCULATE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM IN A YEAR AND I MUST SAY ITS A VERY SATISFYING TIME DIFFERENCE (IM WEIRD!!!! I KNOW!!!!! math kid moment) ANYWAYS I SHOULD STOP USING ALL CAPS LIKE THIS and go study BYE <33

best of luck with chem and school !! more under the cut again lmao

the eating while sending asks is ipad kid behavior but don’t get me wrong that’s not an insult I’m right there with u .. call it multitasking or something I guess? ??

I’m gonna put the movie recs last because I will geek tf out and forget about everything else ,, MCU AAAAA YES I GREW UP ON THOSE MOVIES THEY HAVE MY HEART !!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR A MARVEL RAMBLE ANY DAY ANY TIME !!! age of ultron is my fav avg film but my hyperfixation on spidey in general has me attached to nwh <3 ITS THE CAMEOS FOR ME + THE CINEMA EXPERIENCE WAS CRAZY 😭 andrew and tobey trigger nostalgia like nothing else .. underoos was a nod to my favorite dynamic in the mcu (peter & tony) <3333 i love how i said I’d talk movies last but I’m already typing all this out like a maniac ,, anyway

hemsworth was my first celebrity crush so i get the thor love 100%, tho i hated love and thunder with a passion ‼️ that movie — HARD flop. ragnarok was great

I can’t not mention wandavision the graphics were insane and there was so much wasted potential for it to just end like that :// I was so frustrated ugh .. I haven’t seen daredevil (though I want to), and shehulk looks terrible. got bored of tfatws

LOKI OH MY GOD LOKI WAS INCREDIBLE HELLO THE PLOT ?? I’m a sucker for plot twists and unpredictability cause I have good intuition (sounds like a positive, but not when you’re watching something) LOKI WAS SO GOOD THOUGH. this is where my movie recs start :)

if you liked loki, please please watch everywhere everything all at once.

if you liked mean girls, watch 10 things I hate about you, the breakfast club (<3), clueless, how to lose a guy in 10 days, pretty woman

for american psycho, watch the social network, fight club, x + pearl + maxxxine, kill bill, maybe .. pulp fiction? <- check the content warnings for each of these though !!!

my general recs are the grand budapest hotel, goodfellas, little women (2019), moonstruck, challengers, and juno !!

oh and this is incredibly random ,, I think you’d maybe like whiplash (2014) if you haven’t seen it — just based off of vibe

the best ones are bolded in red !! i know these are a lot sorry 😭😭😭😭😭 this is my happy topic and if u don’t give me the specific mood ur in I go crazy

AND MARCH 16 !!! GOT IT !!! <3 all my love

[merverelli]

5 through 10 for the artist asks ^^?

thank u for saving me anon im dying from boredom here sjfhajfh

5: What’s your favorite thing to draw? - im still on that solid 'youtuber ego' kick so them ahaha

but broadly put, people and characters!!

6: What’s your least favorite thing to draw? - FUCK BACKGROUNDS im bad at positioning characters, and just general design with them

its probably just a practice issue tho!!!

7: How often do you use references? - ALL THE TIME i really struggle with proportions and placement without them, so i need my art crutches :(

but if im just mucking about n doodling faces etc, then idc about as much skfhajfh

8: Do you draw professionally, or just for fun? - just for fun! i keep thinking about opening commissions every now and then, but i dont think im fast and consistent enough for it yet??? but maybe one day!!

9: How much time do you spend drawing on an average day? - WAY TOO LONG my average art pieces are simple enough to theoretically take like 2 - 3 hours, but i end up taking DAYS bc i keep getting distracted and that

its probably just 40 ish minutes on average tho??? i get busy (and also distracted with other things sjdhakyfeu) pretty easily :(

10: Are you confident about your art? - maybe???? i think the main thing im self conscious abt is how long i take to draw, but im ok with my average style rn?????

there are some things i wanna change/do, like i wanna develop a 'shitty and quick' (with want of a better way to phrase it SHDHAJGHDAI) art style, so i feel less self conscious abt posting half cooked sketches and that, so i post more art, but so far i think im ok, especially compared to how i use to be!!!!!!

[safetycar-restart]

OH NO!!! i cant BELIEVE i missed boypussy!seb object insertion woe be me i am INCONSOLABLE (i went down with a cold so bad it was like a nosedive and the disturbance in the force brought me back to life but TOO LATE oh no)

i will at least come scream at you about it as it is all i have left in life 🥲

because hello ????? walking in on him masturbating is always fun and i think A LOT of it would be the most unexpected place/time because when he is horny he is horny and he would just shrug shove a hand down his pants in the first semi-private corner he can find and think nothing of it. So usually he isn't fazed at all by your appearance but now you walk in and he is suddenly shy? hiding, covering himself up?? and was that ?? was that a bottle between his thighs ???? shels hello???????

and YES the fun thing about water bottles is how easy it is to include temperature play and YES getting a fun-shaped water bottle and putting it in a freezer would be PHENOMENAL but also can i rase you a boring-shaped round one that is on a thick side and filled with hot water?

and it's mostly unplanned, you just decide last-minute while he's choosing panties that you might want a bottle on hand for today and this is the only safe-looking one (no label glue or scratchy cap etc) you can find quickly, and then you fill it so it's heavier and easier to handle and turn the tap to hot in a bout of inspiration.

you genuinely don't expect it to have much effect on top of the fact that it's A Water Bottle, but then you press it up playfully between his thighs and he just freezes? His eyes go huge and mouth falls open when you nudge it about just a little and then he is scrambling for your wrist frantically so he can make you hold it still while his hips slide up and down it in a beautifully obscene motion you don't think you've ever seen him make? he opens himself with his free hand impatiently, desperately trying to angle his hips so that the hot side of the bottle presses simultaneously against his clit and entrance, and you're just, entranced by how smooth the glide becomes in barely a couple of motions because he is so wet it gets smeared all over the bottle instantly, and then he starts whining helplessly because he cant get it to press against him snugly enough so you snap out of your trance to help him find a better position

and then when you get it inside him--it's cooled down a bit by then but is still warm, and you can't imagine what would've happened if it was still properly hot because even as is he comes so quickly and so messily, all of him seizing up, and oh my god it never occurred to you before to look into heating-up toys but maybe you should?

lmao SORRY idk what happened here evidently i am in water bottle seb land now. i feel like there should be a cheerful little 'kink unlocked' icon on my forehead or sth

Lwmon 🍋

also sorry i went quiet for a hot bit ive been through like 4 time zones in under 3 days bc i had to get to a uni where im doing masters abroad but now im HERE and im SO FUCKING HAPPY i cant even tell you and then i barely been to like 2 days of classes and my body was like yup off with you and i went down like a shot plane with im-hoping-not-the-flu but anyway

Oh my god this is AMAZING. Lemon anon you are truly incredible I always look forward to your ramblings after I post Seb content.

Firstly, I’m kinda in love with Seb always masturbation around the house? I think at first he’d be really shy about it (which is less to do with being shy about masturbating and more about being shy about not shaving his pussy and being worried about it you not wanting to always see it). But then once he’s comfortable? Absolutely all over the house.

You arrive and Seb is sitting on the couch with his hands down his pants or touching himself in the bathroom. And especially in the gym? You guys have your own gym at home and the amount of times you’ve walked in on Seb masturbating mid workout is ridiculous.

But anyway back to the object insertion idea:

I had never even thought of using hot water but oh my god that’s brilliant??

And Seb wouldn’t have thought about either. He doesn’t expect it at all. He’s more focused on the fact that you’ve brought a thick waterbottle for him, happily spreading his legs because he’d like it right now please.

Then you run the bottle over his folds and holy fuck it’s hot??

Seb doesn’t even know how to deal with that, has never felt anything like that before and he needs to have that against his pussy IMMEDIATELY.

He grabs your wrist, holding your wrist tight to make sure you don’t move as he grinds against your he bottle. It feels so good.

You’re entirely entranced by how good he looks, how desperately he’s grinding against the bottle. And he needs it inside him as soon as possible.

Seb almost never opens himself up, but you’re holding the bottle against him and he’s so desperate and he just has to start opening him.

But the poor thing can’t get the angle right?? He’s trying to have the bottle against his clit and his fingers inside and it’s not working he needs help!!

Maybe you let him hold the bottle against his clit? He holds the bottle like it’s a vibrator, pressing it against his clit as you open him up enough to take the bottle and then take the bottle from him to fuck him with it.

The bottle isn’t as warm as it was before, but Seb loves it either much. He whines and tenses to quickly, cumming almost instantly.

So yeah, you’re gonna have to start looking into heated toys.

[daddy-suguru]

Hi hello I got 🦋s when I noticed you followed me back. Literally any and every time a writer I 💗 follows me back I’m like: 😳🤯😭😇😌😍☺️ (does that series of emojis even make sense? 😆). Tyvm for sharing your beautiful, sharp, ravishing, playful imagination w/ us here on Tumblr! P.S. “just a little drunk off you” was your fanfic that got me HOOKED (line, and sinker) on your writing. 😵‍💫 What a masterpiece of plot, porn, AND ~healthy poly (bc c’mon, Suguru and Satoru are just a *tad* toxic 🥲 lmao 😉). “How about I ask your pussy?”; how nonchalantly Satoru just invites himself in 😂; the subtle intimacy of Reader asking Suguru and Satoru to kiss 🥺; DOUBLE PENETRATION ��‍💨; and “You can't help but laugh as you think that this is what your close friendship with both men was leading up to this whole time,” like yesyesyes fate and destiny and all that jazz !!!!! ANYwho! Hope your week’s going alright thus far. 💝

I keep reading this over! And doing little hand flapping happy stimming because of this! 🥰🥰😋💖☺️ your line of emoji’s makes perfect sense. I feel like that whenever someone follows me or likes several things on my account because they means you liked my writing enough to poke around.

Sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit bland and boring, which I’ve said before. But at the same time I keep telling myself that’s just baseless doubts of myself. Which you are proving right telling my imagination is playfully beautiful and sharp. Which Im going to reread this post when I start to doubt myself.

Now onto the fic, when I writing just a little drunk on you. I was thinking of a world where Suguru didn’t go off the deep end, Au idea, everyone gets therapy.

I feel like the best set up for a poly ship where you become their friend and Suguru being the direct one and not being scared of commitment would date you in a heartbeat. Then Satoru has realizes that he has huge feelings for Suguru which he expected. But you that’s as a harder pill to swallow. Satoru would be a bit toxic in showing that he is jealous towards you since your with Suguru.

Suguru would that down since he would be able to read Satoru well. And he can see that Satoru is just feeling left out. He also knows you see the white haired man as more than a friend which is why upsets you that Satoru doesn’t like you. I can see Suguru trying to gas light you out of believing Satoru hates you.

Satoru after a while figures out that you think he really hates you. So he fails it back, he accepts that he is hopelessly in love with Suguru and You. And that soon enough the two of you will be married while he goes from partner to partner trying to find within what he sees in his two best friends.

I’m going to stop here because I don’t know where I’m going with this I’m just rambling about satosugu which I’ve been sadly neglecting in favor of other things on my blog. Those two together are one of my favorite ships with my other favorite being Eremika. And I love to imagine a world where both ships get to be happy together and if I just so happy to slip a third member in there because happy non jealous poly ships that everyone makes sure they get proper attention is just uggggh 😫😫

I adore how you broke down my fic and told me just about it that you love. When people point out certain parts about my writing they like I always get so excited I feel like imma explode in a ball of happiness.

There is no one in this world that could tell me that Satoru wouldn’t talk to your pussy. He hears it getting loud and sloppy for Suguru and Him so he just has to. Even if this means a personification of your pussy as he attaches she every one in a while. Satoru would mainly want to talk to you and your pussy when you haven’t said the safe word but your crying that you can’t cum. “Do you hear your sweet pussy? She is just begging for more.”

Also reader who encourages Suguru and Satoru to love on each other because she could tell that Satoru has feelings for Suguru. And Suguru would have already confessed that while you will have a place in his heart Satoru would too. And you can’t get jealous, by the way they kiss each other it’s clear they were meant to. And so you want them to make up for lost time. But at the same time they can’t ignore their favorite princess who is their happy audience. The two would make out near you trying to get you to join in on the fun as they loudly moan into each other’s mouth.

Satoru and You would have to trade off being the center of attention. This would also give reader a chance to be a little more dominate. And you would give Satoru more chances to be dominate which with Suguru mainly taking that dom role for yourself it leaves Satoru and You as subs a lot for him. Suguru would love seeing his two favorite subs working together for his praise.

Oh yeah Satoru just helping himself. If he walks in unless you tell him to leave if he likes what he is seeing then he will test to see if he could join. And Suguru and You look too beautiful making love to each other.

Say that I was to make a part two to just a little drunk on you. I could see Suguru wanting Satoru and You to fool around in front of him but he would make both of you edge yourself until he joins. Because this poly ship would have huge voyurisum kink with Satoru and Suguru, and have you seen these two? You would pay to watch them.

Also the best way for the poly ship to fuck and all feel each other would be double penetration. Since Suguru and Satoru would be fucking themselves into you while rubbing their cocks together.

Also I’m a sucker for fate which is why I kind of want to do a soulmate au for satosug x reader. In which they are the missing part to completing their soulmate mark. Say it’s like a tattoo and you and when you met your soulmate you get a full picture instead of just half. Well with Suguru and Satoru they have only ever had the outside birds until they meet you and their tattoos fill in fully meaning you are meant to join their relationship.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For this wonderful comment you made my whole day! 🥰🥰🥰🥳🥳🥳

[yyxgin]

okay i can see the theme better now 🙏 you’re so precious. and oh you have such a nice theme on desktop!! it’s cute and i like the pfp (currently squinting to figure out who it is).

um i have been led to believe gyoza are japanese dumplings. 🥟 <- that’s a gyoza, remarkably similar on ios; looks more like a cornish pasty on android/pc. i’ll be honest i follow from a cookbook and making the skins is so mf long-winded i went to the market and bought wonton skins from the thai place ✋ however making the skins was the thing im most proud of. it’s whatever though bc i get lazy and don’t do them properly (i’ve got a second cookbook and that lady uses a pasta maker to do her noodles and i think the rest of her dough assuming the recipe calls for it but i haven’t followed her recipes yet bc i want to make her bao buns instead).

extracurricular,, was something. i remember my dad sitting through like final ten minutes of the last episode w me purely bc he was sitting down before going to work and i was like ‘yeah that’s his boss but they met under different circumstances a different time and he doesn’t know that’s his boss’ and my dad was like ‘wot 😐’. in all honesty, i binged prison playbook in like four days which was a fucking achievement bc those are 1hr30 each and there was 16. i did not play that weekend.

i think my favourite fantasies are

the bride of habaek (i’m reading the manga bc of this now 🥺)

the school nurse files (there’s only six episodes!)

kingdom (okay it’s not a fantasy more of a horror but it was the first kdrama i had watched in two years and it made me wanna watch them again so...)

i haven’t seen hotel de luna but ive heard many good things!! a friend of mine watched it purely bc iu was in it. i say that’s the correct reason to watch any drama. (i watched start-up purely bc i saw nam joohyuk in the line up and then squealed when i saw bae suji too bc she’s my favourite singer-turned-actress... and then got second male lead syndrome to kim seonho 🤡)

if you let me talk about dramas forever i would but i must stop 🤧 are you looking after yourself today? ~🌻

thank god !! dhsj also thank you !! i have jeongin as my icon on my desktop theme hihi

woah you're really working hard on those dumplings 😳😳 it sounds like so much work but i bet it's worth it when it tastes so good !! i hope the second lady from your cookbook has some tasty recipes, tell me if you find something remotely easy and not easily burnable djsj

i was also so confused at the end of extracurricular and i was like "i nEED a second season" but you know what ?? after a while, i kind of like the open ending. also 1 HOUR 30 MIN EACH OF THAT DRAMA ?? nah. could never be me. i was watching sky castle (also bc of kim donghee 😔😔💔💔💔💔) and that one had 50min episodes i think ?? and that was HARD AF FOR ME I EVEN KEPT FALLING ASLEEP OR ZONING OUT SOMETIMES but i made it through thankfully

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THOSE FANTASIES I WILL MAKE SURE TO CHECK THEM OUT THANKS FOR THE RECS

my best friend was watching hotel de luna bc of iu as well but she said it was boring ?? idk, i didnt see it so i cant really tell, but yeah. that made me kind of not want to watch it lmao

((also you're always welcome to ramble about dramas to me i am really inexperienced but i will always listen)

am i looking after myself ?? weeeelll i am eating berries and i have also been listening to dreams cb on repeat today so i would say so<3 i kind of have a job interview tomorrow tho so im stressing but other than that, i'm fine. what about you ?? you better be looking after yourself or i'll come and do it for you😡

[queenhawke]

ok goddamn here are all my Gripes with the timeless children/s12 more broadly in one post so i can just get it all out there and stop thinking about it hopefully. 

this is far too long and frankly very rambly and incoherent but i absolutely do not have the time or energy to write some sort of Coherent Essay lmao

but uhhh tl;dr get ya head outta the past and into the present, chibs

ok so first of all it’s just a badly written episode. like chibs my dude my bro my pal why the Fuck did u think having the master just Exposition at the doctor for 40 minutes was a good idea. why did u think that i would care about any of the 4??? side characters (i can’t even fuckin remember how many there were!!!) when they are just. complete nonentities. why should i care about obi-wan ko sharmus sacrificing himself when he’s just. There. and his backstory gets explained 5 seconds before he dies and it’s not even that interesting. wHyYyyy would u leave Time Lord/Cyberman Hybrid for the last 5 minutes and then have them just stand around doing nothing!!!! why on GOD’S GREEN EARTH would u take the genuinely interesting concept of a cyberman zealot/cult leader and then just be like ‘ye so he wants to be a robot and also he has a big Death Bomb now for some reason’. like having the master point out that it’s a dumb plan doesn’t make it any less of a dumb plan aaaahhhhhhhhh

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE all that nonsense aside.......... what is this timeless child thing, really. like what does it add to the doctor as a character. what does it add to the time lords as a concept? like. the Big Shocking reveal is that...... time lords are bastards, lied about shit and manipulated an innocent child? like YA BRO WE BEEN KNEW, that is exactly what they did w/ the master in the end of time (which. i also thought was dumb but w/e). like this ain’t new, chibs! except now it’s about them doing it to the doctor and now it’s Revealed that the doctor is the Most Specialest Person In Time Lord History and like

why tho

like is this really more interesting than the doctor just being a regular, even kinda shitty time lord who became a good person

“oh but it adds more mystery” does it???? how?? bc idk what y’all saw but to me it looked like they just explained the doctor’s entire fuckin backstory. like. all we don’t know is 

1. where the kid came from, which honestly...... isn’t that interesting a question bc it’s either like another planet/dimension or mayyyyybe it’s some sort of stable time loop thing idk but like. yawn. sorry maybe other people find that exciting, it sounds extremely boring to me.

and 2. we don’t know the full extent of what the doctor did w/ the Division (which. god i can’t stop thinking about the video game whenever i see that name) but like........ ok let’s say maybe the doctor did Bad Shit when they were w/ those time lords. that’s kind of the implication right? either they were forced to do bad shit or they initially voluntarily did bad shit and then rebelled and that’s where ruth!doctor comes in. like that seems the most likely trajectory that storyline takes

but

like

that’s all way in the past

like that’s happened and judging by ruth they’ve basically already learned and grown from that AND THEN presumably they got mindwiped and started over as a kid so like...... can you even hold the current doctor accountable and also like.

like it’s done

like it’s over

ruth is here

we’re already at the end point of this progression you know

i mean unless chibs intends to do episodes from the perspective of that pre-hartnell era, which i kinda doubt but who knows. but otherwise, the only way you can show that whole like... chain of events, is through flashback and exposition and i just. hmmmm im already tired

“oh but it fits perfectly in the lore and it makes sense and” ok but i don’t!! care!! how it fits in the Lore!! like if you do care about Lore that’s cool but like im sorry i fundamentally don’t give a shit UNLESS it is backed up by genuinely interesting character stuff and i just

don’t see anything here that wasn’t already in the show u know

“oh but morbius doctors explained!!” u think the casual audience knows or cares about the fuckin morbius doctors??? im not a casual viewer and i don’t even give a shit about the morbius doctors. im sure people do!!! i know people do But God Jesus Christ the last thing dr who needs to do is continuously go back into its own history to fix plot holes that really aren’t important to any of the characters at all. it’s a 56 year old show, there’s gonna be inconstencies and unless “““fixing”“““  those inconstistencies leads to actual interesting stories i Just Do Not Give A Shit

and like i get the feeling that this whole thing was smth chris chibnall has had in his head since forever, like this was his Big Bold Plan when he was a young guy watching classic who. and like. i get wanting to do that story now, but... the show has moved on, the world has moved on. he can do whatever he likes, but things have in fact happened, and sometimes you gotta adjust your big dream story to account for those things that have changed. sure, every showrunner is completely entitled to do with the show what they want, BUT the audience is still experiencing the show as one continuous story, and you gotta take that into account unless you want it to be super jarring for them! you want the master to blow up gallifrey, but gallifrey has been blown up + brought back in very recent history? find another way. this story could easily have been done without destroying gallifrey. i mean, have the master kill some time lords, sure, whatever. but keep them around! have them react to the doctor finding out the truth, have them confront each other!!! isn’t that a much more interesting story, anyway?

ok jesus this is getting way too long LISTEN

here are my main points:

- like the cartmel plan before it, it takes away far more mystery than it adds. it takes the vast and endless Unknown and turns it into like... a “mystery” plot the size of your average scandinoir thriller. before, the doctor’s life before an unearthly child could be anything you want. now it’s.... this

- the actual execution of it is bad. the dr sits in a cage for 40 minutes and is shocked and then she gets over it in that same episode

- it robs the doctor of a certain kind of agency and accountability. instead of a privileged time lord who got better through their travels and companions, now they’re an abused, adopted child who was always an outcast. and that’s not like..... an inherently bad story!! i get why that resonates with people, i do. BUT BUT BUT....... why does that have to be their story. why does that have to get shoved into the doctor’s backstory when that could be the story of a companion? why are you replacing one story when you could be creating new ones?

i think actually that’s my Main Gripe with all of this.

why is this the doctor’s story?

for an era that is supposed to be all about inclusivity and diversity and Space For All, why is the end result that the companions get shoved to the side in favour of doing gallifrey and the master again, in favour of Lore, in favour of the fuckin morbius doctors? why would you dangle jo martin in front of my face and then reduce her to the Magical Black Woman trope in this ep? why does the character who has up to this point been portrayed by 13 white men and 1 white woman, get the backstory about being an adoptee, why are you making all these past doctors people of colour and of different genders, instead of just... acknowledging that doctor who’s past wasn’t very diverse, and forging ahead with NEW stories instead. 

doctor who thrives on change, but this isn’t.... like it’s not going forward. it’s looking back and prioritising the past instead of focusing on the present, on the new generation. i didn’t like s11 much, but not using any past monsters was a good refreshing choice! no, they weren’t all great, but we got stuff like demons of the punjab and ITYA out of it, stories that were genuinely great and new. and in many ways s12 was an improvement, but going so full-in on classic monsters and stories... it felt like a step back.

i want new stories. tell me about yaz. tell me about ryan. tell me about places that aren’t england or gallifrey or other places we’ve been to. tell me about monsters that aren’t the daleks or cybermen or time lords. tell me about new mistakes the doctor makes. let her fuck up now, in the present. let her make bad decisions, let her do shitty things now, not lifetimes ago. let graham, yaz and ryan fuck up. let the fam clash with each other, really clash, not this half-assed stuff we had this season. tell me new stories with these new characters, that i still feel like i barely know despite having had two full seasons with them.

and give me jo martin as the 14th doctor goddamn

[vyvesvi]

i don't mean to annoy by being in your inbox every time ytsn breathes but any thoughts on we are young and super a warning ahead?

omg i’m never annoyed by this stuff, esp bc i usually don’t get to talk about them much!

let’s see... (warning: i tried to stay positive but failed. also this got long afff no pressure to read all of it lmfao)

we are young - controversial opinion: this is their best concept (to me in this moment, i could decide something else tomorrow lmao). the choreo isn’t bad and the song is catchy, even though the production quality of the studio version leaves a bit to be desired (it sounds tinny and not super full to me?). my main disappointment is with the live stage (...this is becoming a trend) where they messed up...kinda a lot. i feel like mistakes are normal but the ones they made were just incredibly noticeable and it’s telling to me that the camera angles couldn’t really hide them. the styling was awful for the most part but the concept was cute and i feel like zy is a lot more comfortable with long hair tbh.

super a warning ahead - i actually really enjoy the song! i think the way that they draw out some of the lines sounds a bit odd but the production and everything is much better than we are young. the reason why i put we are young above this one is because of the concept idea is general. like this song...doesn’t really go anywhere? like its...sweet? but not really interesting. the styling is sooooo much better, but the choreo is pretty boring, very give and take. I don’t mind a simple point dance because they have the potential to be iconic, memorable, and easily imitated, but the rest of the dance could’ve been a lot more interesting. but then again, they weren’t in sync in the dance performance video so like...idk. i feel like live performances are one thing, but prerecorded content should theoretically be better because they can do it in multiple takes? i don’t want to judge them *too* much but that is one are where i think they have been struggling (and i didn’t really expect it at all?)

so nothing that’s gonna make me unstan but it’s clear to me that their preparations were rushed. i wish they would like. take a month or two to regroup. i don’t want them gone for that long but if these are the performances that we’re getting on their current preparations i think it’d be for the best.

i also don’t think they’re making use of their strong vocalists (xilin, wyj, znx, and czx). like 4/7 are main vocal material and they could be doing a lot more with that. of course the issue is that the remaining members aren’t really comfortable with rapping and are (comparatively) weak singers, but they don’t make use of xiening or yifan’s dance abilities well either. i’ve said this before (and i’ll try not to hammer it in too much because it’s a pretty biased opinion) but watching zy do dance breaks with or after xiening is like...tragic. like idky they’re setting her up so bad but they need to stop TTTT

as a group they also kinda lack stage presence together. like individually most of them have pretty solid presence but idk what happens when they’re together bc they don’t really sync up?

//edit: okay at this point i decided that i was maybe being too harsh so i started analyzing the debut stages and mvs for rocket girls/hjsn and the9. it didn’t help and ended up being a ramble so feel free to skip lmfao

ytsn & hjsn: bc hjsn debuted with 8 members (minus already debuted meiqi and xuanyi & main vocal zining) and not their full 11 they’re kinda comparable to ytsn as they are now. while ytsn’s styling is somehow better, hjsn’s sync and energy, even taking into account their members who aren’t great dancers, is kind of on a different level (partially biased though, despite that fact that i’m not fully a stan they’re my number one pick for most balanced gg of all time). i’m going to guess that even though they’re produced by the same company that their teams and company philosophy regarding management is completely different. the choreo quality is quite different and ytsn seems to favor debut rank a lot more. of course, meiqi and xuanyi were featured very prominently when they came back but the formations weren’t as stagnant as ytsn’s seem as of now? both groups are similar in that their main dancers (mengjie and xiening) ranked relatively low and therefore didn’t get to show their full ability very often. also an important difference between hjsn and ytsn is that hjsn’s main rapper is kind of legendary and was well known for her ability before the show so. there’s not really a comparison there (for the record though, i like curely’s rapping i just think 1.) it’s a waste given her vocal ability and 2.) she hasn’t been given really long verses because while she has talent she’s not “a rapper” in the typical way).

the9 & hjsn: idk if u watched qcyn2 but i decided to watch a bit of it since i thought it was kinda interesting that the two final groups would be debuting at the same time. to compare the two...ytsn’s vocals are stronger and i think that’s generally accepted as fact. like yuyan is really good but they put so much pressure on her (personally i think anqi and shaking could share the burden but idk). other than that everyone else is a subvocal and/or rapper, so by default the9 wins the rap category. oddly enough, because there are so many rappers they can’t have those longer satisfying verses because they have to share the lines, which impacts their....impact for lack of a better word. there’s kinda no other way to do it without everything being super uneven so i get it though. that leaves dance and stage presence. i think that individually anqi and xiening eat everyone else alive, but comparing group to group...the9 wins for their sync alone, but notably ytsn has performed more and have one more song with choreo. i don’t know i would say that they’re super uneven in presence, but i do feel that because of the number of members with previous stage experience in the9, they are more comfortable performing. 

for fun i once took the 16 members of the9 and ytsn and redistributed them into more balanced lineups of 8

team one:

yuxin - vocal, lead dancer 2, sub rapper 1

anqi - lead vocal, main dancer

yuyan - main vocal 2

keyin - main rapper

keran - lead rapper

curley - main vocal 1

yifan - vocal, lead dancer 1

zhaoyue - vocal, lead dancer 3, sub rappper 2

team two:

yijin - main vocal 2

zhuoxuan - main vocal 1

xiening - main dancer, sub vocal 2

nene - lead vocal 1

xueer - sub rapper, lead dancer 1

esther - sub vocal 1

jiaqi - main rapper, lead dancer 2

xiaotang - lead rapper

i lowkey stacked the first team with both centers, anqi, and keyin but whatever

anyways based on how i feel about the other debuts i kinda think im being mostly fair to ytsn? especially because i think they’ll grow a lot as a group over the next two years. i’d be a lot more concerned about their vocals if that was the problem because that’d be the hardest thing to fix but they don’t have to worry about that!

anyways i’m gonna cut myself off here because this has turned into...a lot but if you have thoughts definitely share them, i’d love to hear!!!

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[saigebeaumont]

- ̗̀ * ( robert sheehan + cismale + he/him ) have you seen ( benjamin ‘benjy’ magwitch ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-three ) year old, studying ( political science ). we hear they are in ( rho pi rho ), and can be ( magnetic & irresponsible ), maybe it’s because they are a ( leo ). they sort of remind us of ( shiny red apples, walking on ledges, kaleidoscopes ), maybe we can find out more ! ( james + 19 + est + they/she ) *  ̖́-  + theatre/track

hi hello as u may have seen my name is james and this is my baby, benjy. i dont know how long this is going to get so pls bare with me

tw; fire? 

gen. info

full name: benjamin ‘benjy’ henry magwitch / joshua hollowood but u will never catch him actually using his real name tbqh

nickname(s): think of a random name. any century, any gender, any amount of letters or lack thereof. that’s it that’s his nickname. previous aliases that he has claimed to be are - thaddeus, balthazar, dante, romulus, etc., etc.

b.o.d. - july 31st, age 23

label(s): the icarian, the blackhole, the insouciant, etc. etc.

height: tall

hometown: ???

sexuality: chaotically bisexual

bio. info

let’s try and make this short n sweet

so like. y’know when a faerie steals a human baby and replaces it with it’s own, weaker, inferior baby? benjy is the human baby in this case

except they weren’t faeries

dorothea and fawley were two...somewhat, in love, folks--who had really wanted to have a child of their own. when they did, finally, have their child--he was very sickly and small and neither of them wanted their child to be weak goddammit

so they did a switcharoo, like...switched at birth except i’ve never ever seen switched at birth, and ran off with this extremely rich family’s newborn baby instead!

dorothea and fawley were part of a circus, and thus, lil benjy was raised in a circus !! how cute.

needless to say he was raised in a very nontraditional setting, like, homeboy was homeschooled bc they were literally always travelling, around the country and once or twice out of country.

despite that, he never doubted that his circus family didn’t love him or anything like ?? yeah he never called his ‘parents’ mom or dad, but that’s bc it was like...everyone was his parent.

dorothea and fawley told benjy that his name will never define him, and he could be anyone or anything he wants to be.

this caused a tiny benjy to be CONSTANTLY changing his name. like, almost everyday he’d just declare a new name and everybody in the circus would call him that specific name. even when he did acts, he’d go by a different name every single time

this carried onto adulthood and benjy still doesn’t tell people his real name very often. sometimes they’re sort of normal names n other times they’re fucking bizarre.

when he was seven he declared his name was ‘sock’ for an entire month.

grew up doing a buncha odd lil jobs and roles in the circus, from being a lil handyman like fawley to being a magician’s assistant like dorothea. t’was a lil tiny animal tamer (before the circus stopped using animals in their acts because we don’t stan circuses like that no we do NOT) at some point but reeeaaally liked tightrope walking and things as such

also tried his hand at fire-throwing/etc. etc. but the like eighteen (minor!) burn scars across his body will tell u that it was not for him and he gave it up to pursue knife throwing tricks and juggling

wasn’t rly ever around ppl his own age, also never had a smartphone before he was like eighteen or so--he’s not old fashioned but he can definitely be behind on the times

also grew up listening to primarily older rock/folk music/whatever the fuck music his family created/his own music

that being said benjy is good w a guitar but bitch cannot sing. he sounds like a dying frog.

he also did a bunch of petty theft but that’s bc some of the other folk in the circus did it and he was like huh. looks like fun. bc benjy is thoroughly an idiot but more on that later. so he got some shit on his record but he got them sealed when he turned 18, like, asap

but. benjy is a dumbass. he committed ANOTHER petty crime, because the boy has addictive qualities, and he left some dna evidence bc boy’s got some mf hair

surprisingly, it wasn’t through his records that they found him via his dna  but, rather, his real parents who did a whole ass dna kit thing for fun one day

this came as a shock to everybody involved, honestly, though tbh ? benjy didn’t care that much that he had parents who weren’t the circus, but that’s bc of his entire upbringing.

either way his birth parents wanted to like. y’know. meet their delinquent biological son and when they did they were like ‘woah woah woah wtf ur in a circus’ and he was like haha yeah

n that was...sort of it, for a while. benjy was 18, had his GED, n wasn’t planning on going to college at all.

the circus was still traveling, the world was all right, etc. etc, benjy maintained contact with his bio parents bc it was Polite to do

and then the circus burned down! somebody did a flaming knife trick when they weren’t supposed to and, long story short--the entire circus went up in flames. there were no victims, no worries, but their entire livelihood was gone and they were all effectively displaced.

when his Rich Biological Parents found out about benjy’s newfound predicament that he 100% was not responsible for whatsoever, they were like . . . . listen. we’ve got a Reputation to uphold, but we’ll send you to college.

he’s been here since he was like, 21, so he’s a junior i think ??

he’s majoring in political science but it’s like technically his first year as the major bc his freshmen yr he wanted to do anthropology and then he switched to mathematics and homeboy was nvr satisfied but now he thinks he wants to do smth w social welfare so he’s doing political science w theatre and public affairs as minors

personality

he’s got. a big personality

he’s got this sort of energy that attracts others but they don’t really know why bc holy shit benjy can be annoying

he’s just super intense ?? like the boy does not know how to calm down, he’s constantly moving around and being dramatic and sometimes whiny

pouts more than a person should averagely pouts

i wouldn’t call him a liar because he can be, very very blunt, and doesn’t know how to beat around the bush, but he likes telling half-truths simply to either confuse others or to just b a lil bitch tbh

he’s got big dumbass energy like okay he’s smart he just doesn’t apply himself very often and he just. does dumb things

gets into fights bc he’s a dumbass. like. he will purposely provoke ppl he doesn’t like, n when he’s drunk he’ll do it to literally anybody esp ppl he likes

also just. doesn’t know when to stop talking. can find ways to ramble about nothing, asks questions w the intent of being annoying, etc. etc.

his ~parents~ didn’t rly believe in modern medicine n they were just like ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away!’ so he’s got this obsession w apples. literally is always chewing on an apple or a toothpick or anything he can get his hands on. he’s like a teething toddler, essentially

probably the dumbass who plays wonderwall at a party tbh

okay but fun fact! he’s super nimble and just. cat-like, from all his yrs of practicing n performing tightrope walking. if he falls over it’s because he wants to fall over and if he falls over it’s bc he wants ATTENTION

he loves. being the center of attention? but he’s also content with being in the background if it makes sense. he just wants to be doing something, anything

anyways he doesn’t take shit seriously at all like, i don’t think he’s ever had a serious conversation in his life ?

big slut for parties. he loves partying, he nvr knew he loved partying until he went to ucla but he loves it

he’s got an addictive personality so like okay. he’s not Addicted Addicted to anything specific (besides nicotine) but he definitely has no problem with drinking n doing drugs Often.

i mean he’s reckless too he never knows when to stop, feels like he’s tryn to be the Superior boy but he’s not and he’s probably overcompensating nowadays to deal w the guilt of accidentally burning down his entire life

drives cars too fast, drinks too much, has no problem getting into heavier drugs

also okay on a lighter note the boy used to be addicted to cigarettes bc he started fairly young but hoo boy he’s now on that juul game

literally he always has a juul on him. spends all his money on juuls

he works as a florist n a gardener for extra cash even tho his bio parents send him money, just bc its one of the only things that really calm him down tbh ??

also i meant it when i said he doesnt tell ppl his real name, like, ever. at least his first name bc he loves his last name but ? u probably dont know him as benjamin or even benjy, just smth stupid like marcellus the magnificent or booboo the fool hahahsdfgh

did i mention he casually juggles bc i genuinely cannot remember lmao

uuuhh there’s more i’m sure but !! i have a really bad memory!

i also dunno if im keeping his fc but we will SEE

he’s basically like....still a five yr old child

OH okay so i remembered smth else

he’s essentially a nomad which means he hates being rooted to ucla so he’s usually off drivin’ around the coast bc he’s bored goddammit but he always comes back bc he’s a loyal dog

speaking of loyal dogs. he’s got commitment issues. but not commitment issues? it’s sort of like. he gets really interested in things/people, kind of focuses all his energy on that thing or person, and then one day wakes up and is just. terribly bored. tends to drop ppl like that, esp relationships, and he doesn’t think much of it bc it’s Normal for him

but believe it or not, if u call him in the middle of the night he WILL show up, or if u wrong him instead of him wronging u, he’ll still b endlessly loyal

like he’s shitty but he’s got a heart ?

also like i said. he is chaotically bi. both chaotic and bisexual and also the two combined.

he’s chaotic neutral in general

wanted connections ?? possibly ??

frat bros - [hulk hogan voice] brother. he needs them

general friends ! - if u dont hate him then u just. love him, man. no inbetween

exes - he’s probably got...a few of these, because his attention span lasts like a max of two weeks

hookups - they also dont tend to last very long just bc of how he is as a person, but y’know. they good while they last

ex-hookups, specifically

ex-friends - bc he’s an idiot

if u really want to u can bring in a circus pal but firstly idk how they’d afford school but honestly. we can work smth out. hmu [kissy face]

roommate - do they hate each other ?? who knows

bad influence - they only egg on benjy’s dumbass behavior

good influence - probably forces him to study for once, or take care of his dumb ass

idk what to call it but like. ppl who HE eggs on to be bad, is generally toxic to the other person

anything else u want [another kissy face]

[quinintheclouds]

I found out im a ravenclaw! It doesn't feel like it fits me but hey, what are you gonna do about it. Can you tell me stuff about ravenclaws?

Yay, I’d love to! Quick aside though, what do you mean by “found out?” Your wording seems to indicate it was something shown/told to you rather than a conclusion on which you’d arrived yourself. If you took a quiz, those can be fun but aren’t reliable. I can take the pottermore test 3 times in a row answering with complete honesty and get sorted into 3 different Houses. The quizzes are all just someone else’s perceptions of what innocuous details might pertain to each House, and a few years ago I conducted an analysis of the different options/choices and the Houses to which they led, and… a lot of it’s kinda irrelevant and arbitrary.

If I’m misinterpreting and you DID come to this realization for yourself, I’m curious as to why you feel it doesn’t seem to fit you. but WELCOME to Ravenclaw! :D Keep in mind though that everyone has aspects of every House, and aspects of themselves that aren’t contained by Houses at all!

Okay, initial ramblings aside… sorry :P Ready to hear some bomb info about us Ravenclaws that often isn’t talked about? Let’s go! [Bear in mind that these aren’t exclusive to just Ravenclaws and also won’t apply to every Ravenclaw! Some of these are just my personal experience/thoughts]

So first, Ravenclaw’s canon defining characteristics: intelligence, creativity, wit, imagination, love of learning, uniqueness, originality, individuality, curiosity, open-mindedness, and acceptance. 

We are largely a compassionate bunch that stands against ignorance of all kinds and will fight by informing others. Ravenclaws can often be found organizing protests and the like for important causes (akin to Hermione’s S.P.E.W.)

A lot of Ravenclaws have trouble settling on our House, because we can have the inclination to look at every angle of a scenario so that we can at least attempt to more objectively weigh the options. This is why I used to think I was a Gryffindor/Hufflepuff for long stretches of time.

Another reason some of us hesitate to sort ourselves as such is because of the misconception that Ravenclaws always make great grades or are dutiful with schoolwork. Not true. Intelligence comes in many forms!

On that note, neurodivergent Ravenclaws may struggle to feel we belong when we see so many our peers excel in school. 

On the brighter side, Ravenclaws like these will somewhat unknowingly wind up banding together. We’re the ones who accidentally miss class because we’re so engrossed in researching some big new interest. The ones who annoy the others by testing out new spells/potions of our own creation and consequently making a mess and ruckus. We’re the ones who forgot to study because we got confused by one of the points in the book/lecture and wound up writing an essay trying to debunk the error instead of doing the actual assignment. Here’s to us lol

A bunch of us DEFINITELY waste time gathered outside the common room (or CAW-mmon room!) just solving the door’s riddles. (If you didn’t know, the door only opens after you answer a different riddle every time) 

The vast majority of us LOVE puns. Ah, wordplay… the toy of language.

Starting a million projects and never finishing them whoops

Having a million journals you’ve written in so you have no clue which is which at this point

Buying way too many books but rarely finding time to actually read

OUR HOUSE COLORS ARE BLUE AND BRONZE, DAMMIT! THE MOVIES CHANGED THE BRONZE TO SILVER AND I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT (lol I’m totally chill about this, can you tell?)

We are HUGE daydreamers! We pride ourselves on imagination, and luckily for us, we’re in one of the tallest towers of Hogwarts (bc we represent the element of air) so we have beautiful windows out of which to gaze while letting our minds wander 

Also the cawmmon room ceiling is magically designed to always look like the night sky, so we love to lie on the floor and watch the stars, moon, planets, etc.

WE FRICKIN’ LOVE SPACE, OKAY???

NEVER leave your stuff behind in the dorms! You’ll have to answer a riddle to get back in, and by that time you’ll be late to class (fellow ADHD Ravenclaws, we know this pain all too well)

We’re an adventurous bunch, contrary to some belief. But our adventures aren’t purely for external enjoyment — the excitement arises from the stimulation of our minds. Curiosity killed the cat, as it were, but feeds the eagle. We’ll sneak out of the dorms to go to the library or steal some ingredients from the Potions classroom for an experiment. The Restricted Section is our playground. 

We’re artists, writers, poets, performers, musicians. People overlook this too often, but these are so important to so many of us. I create, therefore I am.

We’re pretty weird and eccentric a lot of the time, but embracing that helps us gain understanding about what makes us passionate, and we’ll work hard for things we care about.

Side Note: I’ll never not be bitter that Fred and George were in Gryffindor. They were such Ravenclaws. They were impish lil pranksters, and very clever about it, and only did so when there was something to be learned from it (i.e. testing their numerous inventions). I could even see Slytherin more than Gryffindor. *Sigh,* I digress… for now.

I’m one of the Ravenclaws who discusses philosophy and theoretics for hours on end, and the annoying one who asks random questions for the sake of asking questions, just as a game to test myself and see if I can come up with possible answers. (The embodiment of the “do you think pigeons have feelings?” meme).

We, uh. Have terrible sleeping habits. And eating. And showering. And we forget water exists sometimes. We kinda have problems remembering we have corporeal bodies with needs or whatever. Lame.

Some of the more rigid, stereotypical Ravenclaws can be defensively competitive for top of class, and that can turn a bit sour, but I like to avoid that drama altogether.

We notably broke into the Astronomy Tower to watch a meteor shower, and lost so many points we came dead last in the House Cup that year.

Many of us have ALSO snuck into the Forbidden Forest to study creatures and explore deeper.

Yeah we don’t win the Cup often.

Muggle-born Ravenclaws get together in secret to teach the others about math/science/literature/etc. because the purebloods BEGGED them to and they were happy to oblige.

Interviewing the paintings to learn magical history from a firsthand account bc Professor Binns is too detached and boring

According to the wiki, we’re the House most likely to dismiss social conventions and unspoken rules in the search for satiating our curiosity. We’re full of quirks and often won’t stand for playing by unnecessary or flawed rules of any nature.

As hyper and Extra™ as some of us can be, we also love to chill by the fire with a book, a blanket, some music, and maybe too much tea

In general, we’re “well-known for being welcoming and encouraging of creativity, eccentricity and individuality and being very accepting,” as stated by the wiki.

Okay, I am physically forcing myself to stop now. As you can see, we also tend to just dump information all over the place lmao XD Anyway this was fun to write and I might make a post about neurodivergent Ravenclaws in particular… Let me know if you have any updates on your House, and if you ARE a Ravenclaw, we’re happy to have you!!!

[georgeinamerc]

so this is honestly hysterical but I always hit the wrong button looking for an ask so like the 'send a message' thing pops up right, and on tumblr for you its 'message georgeinamerc! posts about #fuck me' and WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED AJFDFKDLSAJLSKDJLAK V LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE THIS IS YOUR BRAND NOW DKDJDJJD

also im fucking honored you check the charles tag JUST FOR ME youre really like 'ill get this ace person to be horny with me' and it fuckin works that insane lmao

my brother does live in a different city (actually a different state) and honestly the best way i can say this without getting too deep is to say be happy you've got that relationship with your brother because my relationship is NOT like that when we stopped living in the same house it was the best thing for the both of us

ALSO ALSO DONT EVER APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR LONG RESPONSES I LOVE THEMMM but damn binch get some sleep we really be fuckin up out sleep schedules huh

I think you might do better than you think on your exams but also i know that law exams are already hard af and the hardest exams I ever took were NON-USA exams so like,...I have confidence in you to do better than me LMAO

-JC

TUMBLR DID WHAT?????? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS RN💀 i post about seb every hour of the day and they decide to advertise me as a horny blog?- i mean yeah fair point. but what i'm trying to say is that that's NOT my most used tag😤 THIS IS BAD FOR MY IMAGE JC THEY'RE LITERALLY CALLING ME A WH*RE OUT HERE DON'T LAUGH JHSFBRHBR

That's my thought process yep :) like fr after talking w you i started searching the tag, even when i started getting into sebchal i would only search the ship name itself or seb<33 your power is unmatched unparalleled etc etc 💅🏻💅🏻

Ohh I'm sorry to hear that! But I'm glad things worked out like that in your guys' case, if that's how things are between u!! But yeah no, i'm very happy to have a good relationship w him, although OFC it's not always like that, we are trying our best💞💞

I GET SO RAMBLY AND ALWAYS TRY TO CUT PARTS OFF MY ANSWERS BC I OVERSHARE SO MUCH TO THE POINT WHERE I FEEL SO BORING😍 I promise i went to sleep right after dw hahah and i did manage to get up at 7 and attend all my online classes so it's fine :)

Ahh idk!!!! The only good thing is that as a course of choice i chose sociology which is a TON more understanding (plus i already knew most of this from hs) so i will be passing 1 class for sure🙏🏻now, about the other 5.... time will tell, im so fucking anxious but THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BELIEVING IN ME💞💗💖❤️

HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?? ANYTHING NEW?? LOVE YOU😽

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 8: “The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers.” - Najwah

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/OSh0mvYBSwo

James Hayden

We just got back from tribal and Ryan was blindsided 3-1. I feel bad for the guy because he had no idea this was going to happen, but that' Survivor for you. I thought there'd be a merge at 13, but Jay's questions at tribal put some doubt in my mind. If it's not a merge, then I think I'm an ok spot if my tribe has to go back to tribal. I'm just praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a merge today or tomorrow.

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/sg4qe6MUjJU

James Hayden

https://youtu.be/oGcQdHpBzhY

Zack M

i don't know how they did it but let's take a moment to shout out james and najwah making it through tribal! no idol needed. im so proud of them. i feel like james will gladly come back to our original alliance once we merge but najwah's commentary always leaves me feeling uneasy. no offense but like do you want to play with anyone, najwah? lol. you have to somewhat trust someone at some point in this game. i would love to work with najwah for as long as possible if she is still around after the merge but unfortunately all of the comments that have been made throughout the game will keep me from promising her anything longterm out of fear that she will run around like a crazy person at merge. also, i believe that she will be the first person to mention my name from hanuha in hopes of it becoming a big move that she could put on her resume. maola doesn't know me yet. i guess they could see me as a threat because of being picked as a captain but like i don't consider maddison a threat. lol. pedro and kalle seem to want revenge. i think it would be fun to get her out first at merge. i'm just rambling now. i'm hungry. we got the new challenge. it's some mini online games or something like that. idk. i'm not a gamer so i was like i have therapy and can't do this bye. i wonder if they think i'm making up my therapy sometimes but like if you guys have ever questioned it i promise i'm not. i have it monday, wednesday, and fridays lol. anyways, cody pedro and kalle are playing. i really only trust me and ben so like fml. hopefully pedro and kalle understand that they are playing for their lives and we win again. fingers crossed. ok i'm going to get chicken tenders. bye. 

James Hayden

Things post tribal did not go according to plan. I would've put money on us merging tonight, but instead we have another tribe challenge. There's a small part of me that thinks Edge of Extinction is play in this season. After this challenge, we will be down to 12 people and seasons post 30 that have a 20 person cast merge at 13. I think there's a chance we do merge at 13, but the 13th person is the Edge returnee. 

As far as this challenge is concerned, video games aren't my strong point. I'm not a gamer, but these games are pretty straight forward. If we have to go back to tribal I'm voting Amy. Voting out Najwah would hurt my game because it would show the rest of Hanuha that I'm not #Hanuhastrong and it would tie us back up at 6 original Hanuha and 6 original Maola. Voting out Amy gives us a 7-5 advantage heading into a potential merge, shows I'm #Hanuhastrong, and weakens Maddison who I think was the ringleader of Maola 1.0. 

Najwah

Last night's tribal was interesting and actually the hardest tribal council. Ryan started a group with James and I 7 minutes after Palena was formed which already made us weary of him. He then tried to blindside me and made me believe he's blindsiding Amy and asked me about James and his previous alliance and it was just a mess. He's an awesome person and great team player but it was just too much scrambling and we all feared he'd flip flop throughout the game, which is dangerous. I'm trying not to use this space as therapy sessions lmao so I'll keep it short. Uhm, I think i have a good thing going with Amy and James. I just really hope we win this challenge, or rather, don't come last so that I can work with them going forward. Amy let me know she has a steal a vote and I told her about my fake idol and we'd like to work together. I really like these two people. A LOT. I lied in tribal when I said I didn't want to keep things Hanúha strong going forward. I can't believe I have to lie and blindside now lmao its becoming HECTIC. I'm really hoping we did enough to at least place second in this challenge. 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Olivia A

I’m doing so bad at all of these games rn and I feel so bad bc I asked specifically to not sit out of this challenge. I play little phone games and stuff literally all the time and am really good at them and for some reason am just doing so so bad today. If we lose then it’s probably my fault but also my alliance of 3 is really solid rn so I’m not actually worried about getting voted off. I still feel so bad I hate this so much.

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/8QZTwYzVqVI

Pedro A

if tomorrow is the merge IMMM GONNA DIEEEEE...we won once again..cause we the baddest.....honestly how am i still alive?...LIKE HOW??....chilllleeee

Olivia A.

Okay woah I’m so happy about this win I was so nervous. I feel like we’re in a really good place going into the merge I’m excited :)

Pedro A

i was about to write my pled for help to the 3 hanuha original members..so they could keep me over kalle...but now who cares...i will throw anyone hunder the bus ....to get to that final

Cody A.

Coming into this game being the competitor that I am, I never imagined even entertaining the idea of throwing a challenge.... BUT when Ben came to me with the idea of making a big move on Zack, I’d be lying If I said I didn’t think about it.. That being said however, I didn’t throw it, but I also did not try as hard as I could have.... I’m very surprised we are not talking to Jay at tribal right now.. Moving forward though, we need Zack.. I need Zack.. If we are merging tonight it is strictly a numbers game from here. I am ready to get my hands dirty, make big moves, and WIN THIS DAMN GAME!!!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXbaQPdhQw0&feature=youtu.be

Najwah

After that whole challenge experience and this entire week, I don't even know what to say. It's been a tiring experience. Being on a tribe where no one really connects is the worst. I tried telling James that the other tribes were highly competitive but for some reason he was okay with his scores? This entire week I've barely had any sleep. Even now, it's almost 5am and people are just on our tribe, OKAY with low scores? We were doomed from the beginning. The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers. Honestly, it messes with you psychologically too. I'm tired of scrambling and relying on tribemates to make an effort. I wanted to work with Amy but she's so difficult to get hold of/unresponsive even though we are on similar timezones. James is hellbent on keeping it Hanúha strong and really, hope he isn't playing me. My heart honestly cannot deal any betrayal so close to merge, I'd also like to just enjoy my Saturday. I deserve to be on the merge tribe. Will most likely be at the bottom ass of the tribe but I want to be in it, nonetheless. I worked for it. And right now, I'm exhausted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Fucking mad. This tribe swap has honestly been DRAINING. Everyone is too nice and meek and people just don't care about winning lol.  I hate the anxiety and sleeplessness of these past few days. I forgot what life was like before this ORG lol what did I do? I miss Leanne, still. The best person in this game. I hate it here. I just want to get to merge and be able to breathe again. 

Sarah

Ahhhhh I can’t believe our tribe, Maola, won the challenge by so much. I legit thought we were going to lose and didn’t have high enough scores. Aimee freaking killed it on her scores, wow. I have been telling Aimee how to buy the small perfume bottles that give you advantages and where to get coins to buy them. She used FIVE on that challenge yesterday (I wouldn’t have used all five butttt). Part of my strategy during this tribe swap has been buying/playing advantages so we don’t have to go to tribal because I still don’t know who is close to who, and the more I’m with this tribe the more I feel like they really just don’t talk to each other and there’s not much gameplay happening. Part of my strategy with convincing Aimee to buy and use advantages was also so I know how many coins she has because that can come in handy at Merge. I also wanted to give her information about the idol hunt (which I got from others— I’ve never actually idol hunted not knowing where or what I was getting) so she could trust me. I FREAKING hope tomorrow is the Merge! How awesome would it be for our original tribe to have the majority and for me to still have an idol. I feel like after this tribe swap, Cody and I will be in the best position in the game when it comes to all of our connections with people. We have our group with Zack and Ben, I feel close with James and now Aimee, and Cody feels close with Najwah. So we really are kind of in the middle and as long as people don’t find out about how close we are, we can just get all the information from others and share with each other. I guess I won’t stop posting a brick.... sorry. 

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjWjJwew7rc

Zack M

welp. i think this is it. could we finally be merging tonight after tribal? or are we swapping to two tribes of 6? that would be super lame. all i know is something is happening and i'm glad because i've been so bored in this tribe. we keep winning. there's no reason to play. i need action. the third tribe that starts with a p is going to tribal again. i don't remember the name. hopefully james and najwah stay hanuha strong so we can go into the merge 7 / 5. if najwah turns she will be my #1 target. she's too dangerous for my game to allow her to run around. other than that ... we came in second during the last competition. we were so lucky. the maola tribe killed it. i wish i would have played because our teams scores were low key pathetic. the p tribe could have beat us if all their players had participated. like is kalle even playing the game? is she here? i talked to her once. i know i should reach out in case it is the merge but it almost feels pointless. i'm sure she will run back to the 3 girls in maola. pedro seems to legit want revenge for john and is open to work together. i hope he isn't lying because i truly do want to take him as far as i can. look, i know i'm talking kind of cocky but i believe in acting in the way you want things to go. i'll be a clown if i'm blindsided. i don't mind. i like clowns. however, this is the way i see it going down in my head ... - we stay hanuha strong - we get out the 3 girls from maola - we get out kalle - we take out aimee and kalle - we take out pedro and james - we then take out sarah - then we have ben cody and i at finale 3 just how we planned it it could honestly work. we just have to figure out idols and make sure no one plays them correctly. and that's where i'm at right now. wish me luck. 

Aimee

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-pokemon-cute-anime-kawaii-charmander-s01e01/106470386286 Happy dance! I’m all for keeping this tribe together. Haha I may have gone a little over board on making sure I did my best on the flash games, but you really never know what the other tribe is going to be doing or getting on these challenges. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a challenge threat if I make it to merge. Sarah has really helped me with idol hunting and finding coins and where to find the advantages. This is great trust building! Thanks Hanuha for the free coins I yoinked from one of your bags at your camp.😏 After everything that happened in the last tribe and despite me voting for her, Sarah and I have really come a long way! I truly had the wrong read on her before. She is actually now someone I am very close with and get along well! Last night after we won immunity she told me she really wants to work with me moving forward in the game! Let’s do it girl! I really enjoy talking to Grae. They seem really genuine and such a kind-hearted person. They keep giving me little messages that seem to hint at wanting to work together. I think at this point it’s unspoken but we both know we would love to. We just get along so well. I also vibe really well with Maddison and I know she could be a very good ally in the future in this game. Olivia proved she is a total team player on this tribe and listened to our advice during the immunity challenge and really stepped up her scores! I am having such a much better time on this tribe and am really enjoying myself. These relationships feel WAY more organic. I will do what I can to help keep this going! I would love to see all of us make it to merge. I’m also so so happy Najwah is still in the game after her last tribal and hopes she makes it through the next tribal!

James Hayden

We are 45 minutes away from tribal and Najwah messaged me saying Amy is ok. We were worried about her because she's been MIA over the past couple days. Per Najwah, Amy will not play her vote steal. It sounds like Amy wants out of the game and if this is what she wants, I will oblige. There's a small part of me that thinks Amy is playing us, but I don't think that's the case. 

Maddison

Everyone is expecting a merge tonight, and original Maola is down in numbers. Hoping I can find cracks and worm my way in. 

Pedro A

SO i told everything to zack......he seems to rule that allience....so he will 100% tell the others....and will try to take grae and maddison out...

Pedro A

Grae and Maddison just create fake alliences.so people dont write their name down....and make people feel safe... AND im here to make justice for john PERIODTTTT.... #justiceforjohn

Ben Kessler

I hope we are merging. Pedro is out for revenge against his former alliance. Zack is a threat and I need it to be known. Cody and I are hopefully solidified. If we merge, grae and maddison are apparently big threats according to Pedro. So that is fine with me. Just gotta keep making sure the people I'm closest with stay in.

Kalle N

hey I'm super high rn and I don't remember if I did this already or not so her I go. I hope we merge soon so I can vote people out that have wronged me. can't believe we won the last challenge even after I did basically nothing. ok gtg ily bye

Amy A

So this round has been tough. My Internet issues were definitely the reason my tribe lost and I wanted to quit cos I felt so terrible but I think Najwah and I can do something with my steal a vote. I’ll steal hers and vote James so no one will suspect we’re working together and then go into the merge with our little secret alliance. Bliss 

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Najwah

All I know is that shit is going to hit the fan at this tribal and I'm scared as hell. Only three of us. You'd think it would be easier but it's terrifying. 

Cody A

https://youtu.be/QM4CiTbrjgw

Pedro A

im scared of the merge...scared of the girls allience...scared of me being a target...for being a wild card ...and scared of maddison and graeee.....kill me at this point

[kaidenmaddox]

hey, I just saw kaiden maddox walking down the streets of clarendon hills. you can catch him around town being a senior in high school. he’s nineteen years of age and i hear he’s known to be ambitious & straightforward but clinical & hot-tempered. click the read more below to find out more. 

OKAY PHEW where do i begin with kaiden? i have /such/ muse bc i was hella inspired by ~euphoria~ !! if you’ve seen the show, you will notice right away he’s based on nate. if yoU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE SHOW...... 10/10 recommend, my friend. watch it. asap. anyway!! i told you i had a new character in mind AGES AGO but since we never got around to talk about it and seeing as i’m hella bored rn, i thought i’d type this down!! let’s gooo.

before i start i need you to know that this might be the most toxic, fucked up and dysfunctional character i’ve ever played and there’s going to be a lot of trigger warnings surrounding him. 

kaiden grew up in clarendon hills, is nineteen and is the youngest brother of two

he doesn’t see his older brother very often tho; he is known as the black lamb of the family and lives in chicago, probably in a fucked up shared apartment. his brother is a drug addict and their father has tried to get him into rehab multiple times, but he’d always relapse. kaiden dislikes his brother - he thinks he’s weak for getting addicted and he doesn’t like the reputation it puts on their family

kaiden’s dad is an asshole. he has been cheating on kaiden’s mother for YEARS. kaiden found out at a very young age, probably around the age of nine, where he found tapes of his dad fucking unfamiliar women (sometimes even men) in hotel rooms. his dad is into some kinky shit. his dad caught him watching one of the tapes however, and made it clear to him to never tell anyone. he’s also abusing kaiden

he hasn’t told a single soul

he also dislikes his mother. he thinks she’s weak for being so unaware of what his father has been doing for years. she’s too emotional, soft and naive in his eyes

kaiden’s very athletic and into football. he started working out when he was fourteen and physical strength means A LOT to him

he’s controlling af. he likes having control over everything and being in charge of a situation. this especially shows when he’s in a relationship. i was thinking he might already be in a relationship (and it’s toxic as hell). 

if things don’t go his way, he gets angry. very angry. and when he can’t control something, there’s only one way for him to release that anger: by getting physical

he’s also a very posessive person? like, he’d kill if somebody was to hurt his girlfriend? and i’m not just saying that, he’s literally almost punched someone to death bc they slept with her (when they were on a relationship pause but you know, enough reason to)

his relationship with this girl (probably a cheerleader bc status means a lot to him) is very toxic, as i’ve mentioned before. he loves her and was willing to do everything for her but also? dude, if she was to punch him in an argument, she has to fear he’s going to punch back? he’s definitely choked her in an argument before and he also grabbed her too harshly way too many times 

toxic masculinity. he likes being the strongest, the best and one of the most populars hence why he got into the football team

his taste in women is very selective tbh lmao. he has this precise image of how a girl he gets involved with looks like (long hair, thigh gap, nice skin, heels or sandals are okay as long as the toes are perfectly manicured but trainers are a no no, he doesn’t like it when a girl behaves like a boy or body hair) dude, he really is an ass??

his relationship with his dad is really fucked? dysfunctional?? like he wants to make him proud. his dad is the ultimate alpha for him

kaiden secretly catfishes gay people or trans people that have not underwent their sex reassignment surgery .... he hates it, but he’s attracted to both men and women. he doesn’t want to be but he is. if somebody was to find out about it, he wouldn’t know what to do tbh. probably kill that person ?? again, literally.

so yes. it was a bit of a ramble and i’m not sure i made a lot sense AND ITS A LOT OF INFO IM SORRY. i also didn’t proofread so i’m sorry for mistakes !!

can we we pls talk about it some more on the phone bc. pls. i’m excited to bring him in!! 

[fullsundh]

Boyfriend! WinWin (AU)

okay so firstly sicheng would be such a perfect boyfriend y’all can fight me on this

honestly i couldn’t see him meeting you for the first time by himself

like he’d either meet you through you being friends with one of the other members

or he would see you somewhere in public but ask yuta to go talk to you first because baby would be SHY

however when yuta finally got friendly with you and introduced sicheng,,,

POOR BOY WOULD BE SO SCARED HE’D TURN BRIGHT RED AND WOULD EVEN MIX UP HIS KOREAN AND CHINESE 

but little does he know that it’s all okay bc you found it adorable :’)

lmao how could u not

so he finally starts to speak correctly but it’s 100% obvious that he’s nervous

and because he’s just a really shy person he’d just sorta awkwardly stand there while you and yuta were having a really in depth conversation

which would make him kinda jealous

bc afterall it was him who spotted you first not yuta

this would also make him a bit frustrated at himself because he just wanted to be as confident as yuta when talking to someone new.

bless this poor bby

so you and yuta would exchange numbers and you’d leave to go do whatever you had to do

and sicheng would just be sulking bc yuta had you’re number when he didn’t.

but yuta knew that sicheng clearly had an interest in you the moment he pointed you out

so being the great friend he is, yuta gave sicheng your number and refused to text you before sicheng.

honestly I can imagine sicheng being really formal to you the first time he messaged you

like mainly because you’re a woman and he’s a cute lil gentleman so ofc he’s gonna be formal

but also because he just didn’t want to come off as weird?????

he would be really conscious about how fast he was replying

once he replied to your message like the second after it came through and then spent the rest of the hour mentally sobbing because he replied too soon

but then another time he didn’t check his phone for a whole three hours because he was at dance practice

once again, he spent the next hour mentally sobbing because he was scared that it seemed like he was ignoring you

when actually the main reason why practice dragged on for so long was bc he kept messing up the moves because all he could think about was you.

y’all someone protect him pls.

you two became a lot closer due to all the texting so you arranged a meet up for just the two of you

and our poor bab was so scared

he literally spent about two hours thinking up all the ways this could go wrong

and then panicking about what he was going to say

he even worried about what he was gonna wear.

tbh winwin would be the type of person to arrive like twenty mins early just incase you thought he was gonna stand you up

baby would never

okay so when you two first started talking to each other on this date (?)

it was hella awkward

but after a short while sicheng really started to open up more and honestly it was so cute

like he’d start rambling about dancing and how much he missed china and how his studies were going

anD THEN HE GOT ALL BLUSHY BC HE REALISED HE WAS TALKING REALLY FAST AND HE WAS RAMBLING AWHH

honestly you already loved him

then he’d start asking you a bunch of questions

but they weren’t like boring ones about school and stuff

he was asking you shit like what you’re fave colour was

and other fun stuff

“Would you rather travel the world but not be able to take any pictures or be able to take pictures on your travels but you can only go to three places?”

“Definitley travel the world but not be able to take any pictures”

“But what if you saw something really cool?”

“I’d want to experience it all in front of me not through a camera lense”

“wOaH”

like you found him adorable for asking such unique things and he’d find you so interesting because of all your answers.

when he said he had to leave to go back to work you was like

:((((((((((((

but then he said that he’d meet you again this week if you wanted

:))))))))))))

These dates continued for about two months before y’all confessed

the reason why it took a while was because sicheng was just toooooo shy to admit his feelings for you

like whenever someone would mention you he’d get all shy and blushy

then he would quickly change the subject bc he knew that if it continued he would go on a twenty minute ramble about how cute you are

and how much he admires you :’)))))

but in the end he would confess by accident

like you and him would be walking past an ice cream place and you would ask him if he wanted to go there

and he would just say something like

“No not yet! I wanna take you there when you’re my girlfriend!”

and you’re just shook then he realises what he’s said.

CUE BLUSHY BABY NOWWW

so that’s how you two confessed and thus your cute ass relationship started.

OKAY SO

at the start sicheng would be kinda awkward about physical contact

but after a short while he would LOVE it!!!

like when you two are at a mall or somewhere crowded he will be holding onto your hand like his life depends on it.

to him, his life really does depend on it because he can’t cope without you :’)

BYE IM SOFT

anyways sicheng absolutely loves holding your hand

he’s the type of boyfriend who just has the bIGGEST smile on his face whenever he’s holding your hand

he just loves the feeling of your hand in his and he just loves to think about how soft and pretty your hands are

like boi has an obsession.

he would also occasionally swing his arm as he’s holding your hand when he’s in a really happy mood

and you’d just look at his happy face as he took in all of his surroundings

then he’d notice that you’re staring and would look down at you

then his smile gets 10x bigger

if that’s even possible

sicheng would also love giving and receiving hugs

although he would usually embrace you instead of hug you because he misses you easily so if it’s been a few days expect a long hug from him.

if you’re ever upset he will tightly wrap his arms around you and sway you two gently to make you relax more.

he will also rest his chin on your head and tell you that he loves you to make you feel safe ;-; 

due to him being a foreigner, sicheng does get homesick sometimes.

times like these you two will have to switch roles almost

like instead of you being the little spoon and him being the big spoon,

you will be the big spoon and cuddle him while he sleeps whenever he’s missing home.

basically just more physical contact than usual whenever he’s feeling alone and misses his family.

okay but out of the whole relationship sicheng’s favourite thing would be when he comes home after a really long day of work

and he’s just really sleepy and worn out

so you lay him in your lap and play with his soft hair as he slowly falls asleep cradled against you :’)))

and then in the morning you wake him up with soft kisses and go make him tea to help him warm up.

Date wise sicheng would take you on a variety of dates because he’d always be worried that you might get bored of the same thing over and over.

his favourite type would be study dates where he would try and teach you chinese ready for when you meet his family.

he loves these dates the most because you sit in his lap while he tries to explain things to you

and it gives him an excuse to talk more about china and what it’s like.

plus he finds your confused and concentrating faces adorable so he always stares at you while you work.

Overall, you mean the world to sicheng.

he loves you with all his heart and he always will <3

honestly the cutest couple ever :’))))))

Y’all I’m sorry if this is really bad and messy ;-; I had a really soft n cute sicheng stan in mind while writing this so i hope she reads this and enjoys it! :)

[chickenfetus]

HI!!! i like to request ALL of the flowery asks! btw i LOVE ur blog and maybe u????? idk 🌸🌸 (jk i love u alot)

who is this????????/ under cut bc i get rambly 

azalea: what’s one word that describes you?

lame lmao

baby’s breath: what did you want to be when you were a kid?

honestly? my answer’s like yours jen because i wanted to be an astronaut but also a vet and then a few years later i wanted to be something else of a whole different profession but now i know what reality is like and i have no clue what i wanna be whoops

begonia: are you a messy or clean person?

i hate seeing my desk/workspace be messy but i cant bring myself to clean it up either???? bc im lazy 

bleeding heart: has your heart ever been broken?

hMMMMm mmm idk i dont think so

bluebell: do you drink tea or coffee?

i drink tea more than i drink coffee but i drink water more than i drink tea i drink water like. everyday lmao obviously but i drink a lot of water its my brand now

buttercup: what are five things that make you apologetically happy?

what does this mean why is the word apologetically there i cancelled it lmao no negativity in this house

my favorite people (u know who + my friends)

when people answer my anon asks and . they respond with a long reply/seem really happy responding thats my fav fam

this is getting real anime but when i get an UR/4* from scouting 

finding an anime/manga/book that perfectly suits my taste

im very tempted to just say water bc idk what else 2 say 

calla: what’s your favorite book?

ive only read 3 whole books this year but i recommend all of them 

challenger deep - neal shusterman (i could go on about this book for days honestly its so interesting and even though its told by the same person it has two kind of perspectives because there are two settings, that didnt make sense but this book is my new favorite)

see you in the cosmos - jack cheng (i love this one too because its just so warm? made me a little emo but its really good and i love how unique it is, text type wise)

a monster calls - patrick ness (this was something i heard from my school first so i didnt know if i really wanted to get it but its actually pretty good?) 

carnation: what are your five most played songs?

i cant really check using the music app bc i added the songs at different timings so itll be inaccurate ill just do most played song from each band/group

again - astro (this is their best song dont @ me)

letting go - day6

all in/stuck - monsta x

death by a strawberry - dance gavin dance

check yes juliet - we the kings

chrysanthemum: what are you afraid of?

i may not b a child but im still afraid of the dark bc my imagination is wild im also afraid of bugs and disappointing others nice oh shit im also afraid of asking for things

daffodil: what’s your astrological sign?

capricorn 

dahlia: what’s your favorite band?

this question was made for me its day6

daisy: which ‘friends’ character do you relate to the most?

ive never watched friends 

dandelion: are you an extrovert or an introvert?

in between!!!!!

geranium: how has your day been?

its been good!!! i managed to ask my mum 2 take me to hair place so i can get it cut finally and im working on updating my tumblr pages and doing all my tags

hydrangea: what’s your dream job?

pass

iris: who’s your celebrity crush?

pass

lavender: what’s one of the best gifts you’ve ever received?

oH FUCK FAM my friends got me a kermit toy for my birthday i lvoe it 2 dEATH

lily: what’s something you’ve achieved that you’re really proud of?

i got first in my class once wow amazing that was 2 years ago i wish i was as good as the me from 2 years ago 

marigold: what would you like to do more of, but don’t ?

well i want 2 b more hardworking but guess thats too late

morning glory: are you an early bird or a night owl?

now that school is over and i have no reason to wake up early ive become neither which is saddening because... i like waking up at 7am on weekends and doing things early but now i wake up at like 9-10am and i still sleep at 11pm  

orchid: what’s the last movie you saw?

i really dont remember?? maybe uh guardians of the galaxy?? i dont remember who i watched it with and when but it was good actually i remember who i watched it with nvm 

pansy: do you believe in love at first sight?

i dont really believe in romantic love anymore 

peony: what does your url mean?

chicken fetus means an egg

periwinkle: what are you thankful for?

god get ready folks im gonna go on my biggest boxy rant ever...

so boxy is my friend who ive been mutuals for over a year and our first common interest is love live and haikyuu so we had that to talk about but im bad at keeping conversations with ppl on tumblr so that ended quickly but earlier this year or late last year i made a twitter and told people on here about it and she followed me and i didnt really mind/pay attention to the stuff she posted/rted uNTIL. until that fateful day... june 25th... at like 8pm? she rted a pic of mister brian kang with dumb minion glasses on and ok maybe i do believe in love at first sight? bc wow!!!!! whos this dumbass with minion glasses and the fluffiest hair ??? so i slide into boxy’s dm.. expecting an explanation and she gives me a good one saying how brians from a band (i would later find out), day6 and im not a fan of kpop, never have been.. ive only watched like some kpop mvs bc i love my friends so i expect myself to listen to them and get over them as soon as im done. boxy my friend, bless HER she sends me all of their mvs from congratulations to i smile and i watch the first one - i smile and me? i start smiling and i can feel myself getting excited because holy fuck theyre a band! they play fucking instruments??? and at this point im already whipped then i move onto how can i say and that shit blew my mind let me tell you.. so because of boxy... i get to where i am now, proudly stanning 3 groups and if it were not for her i wouldve never gotten into mx as well... boxy is just?? really important to me her impact is just that great?? so im super!! sUPER thankful for her and i dont think she’ll ever see this but boxy i love u thank u so much!! boxy gave me more than one reason to live, and not just exist?? without her i wouldve never been able to make so many (like 2 but hEY) new friends and this probably got so long idk im just really thankful for boxy thank u lord for blessing us with boxy (@/youngkwhom on twitter) (kittenma on tumblr) i hope shes happy forever and i also hope she has good days for the rest of her life?? boxy deserves it i lvoe u boxy

petunia: where were you ten years ago?

10 years ago i was like 6 probably watching pokemon or some shit and getting glasses

poinsettia: where would you like to be in ten years?

dead thanks

poppy: what’s your online persona?

i dont understad the meaning of persona but an egg?????? 

rose: who’s the last person you spent quality time with?

all my classmates in an exam hall for 2 hours, quality time indeed

snapdragon: what are your goals?

pass

sunflower: what’s your favorite quote?

i think i had one before but i forgot so maybe it wasnt my favourite lol idk i dont have one now

tulip: if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

for all of my favourite people to be happy forever

a good future

i want astro, mx and day6 to get an award for all of their hardwork thanks

violet: what’s one thing most people don’t know about you?

i was gonna say smth negative but lets not hm m m i? ?? ill put smth irl ppl probably dont know either uh hhh i guess?? that i eat a lot?? but also get full really quickly but then really hungry right after that idk thanks digestion

zinnia: do you believe in magic?

no ????/ idk is there any evidence that magic exists 

JEN !!! thank u so much for asking even tho u probably asked just to get back at me but this was still fun ask memes will never get boring bro,. i love u and i hope u have a good evening also i love ur blog too moon anon probably already told u

to anyone who actually bothered reading through this mess - thank you and i hope you have a good day/night too!!