#also can yall tell i struggle the most with the rise guys :')

[matryoshkalex]

tmaynt day 13!!! best donnies <3

the donnies!!! i was looking for a chaotic reference and was going to do a different meme but couldnt stop imagining them in this one. you KNOW that if the donnies got together they would only cause absolute chaos, maybe world domination, definitely arson.

also i totally considered adding 2007 but i didnt know where to put him and also im tired lol. but dont get me wrong i love 2007 don

tmaynt masterpost

og meme ref under cut!

[newwavesylviaplath]

more dumb music opinions!! this is long and ik most of u don't care but whatever this is my platform i will post how i see fit. also im not proofreading this at all its 1:26 in the morning and im literally falling asleep as im writing this so apologies in advance if this isn't the most well written or coherent post ive ever made

okay yall i fell down a rabbit hole of people on tiktok criticizing chappell roan and now im all worked up so here i am giving my opinions no one asked for;

so something i've been noticing a real influx of is people bringing up her hot to go performance at outside lands (a festival) where she says something along the lines of "vip thinks they're way too cool to do this.. you're not fun!" mfs have been getting online to talk about how chappell was being SO RUDE!!! and NOT EVERYONE KNOWS HER MUSIC WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!! but like anyone with common sense who has seen the vid/heard the audio can tell she was being playful?? like come on now. i also saw someone post abt how she was being mean to jimmy fallon?? 😭 first off, while im not sure abt this one in particular late night shows are usually scripted and secondly im starting to believe more and more that these people have just never interacted with a drag queen before. chappell roan is a STAGE PERSONA and the majority of drag queens are characterized by having this larger than life attitude- take for example that one rupaul /jimmy fallon interview (u guys know which one) like idk i feel like it's very obvious that chappell is playing it up for the sake of entertainment, not cuz she genuinely believes she's above everyone else.

the other thing i've seen ppl whining about is how a) she doesn't wanna take a picture with fans, therefore she believes her shit doesn't stink and b) the two tiktoks she posted a day ago where she was voicing her struggles openly without policing her tone. first off, CELEBRITIES DONT OWE U PICTURES. don't get me wrong, taking a picture with a celeb u are a fan of can be a great experience and a fun story- but people are acting as if it is their god given right to get a photo with whoever they want whenever they want. "oh well she brought this on herself it's the price of being famous" are u stupid omfg acting like chappell signed a contract giving up her autonomy in order to get on the billboard charts. she quite literally did not choose this and even if she did that doesn't mean ur automatically entitled to a pic with her as if she's some kind of zoo animal like?? the two vids she posted to tiktok essentially telling ppl to leave her alone was met with backlash because she 'sounded rude' again im going to put this in perspective for everyone. her family is being stalked. she is being harassed both online and in real life. being upset because she comes off a little brash in a video where she is practically begging yall to stop with the harassment should be the least of your concerns. this is a twenty six year old who was virtually unknown six months ago- her meteoric rise to fame was not something she could have been prepped for in anyway possible. i feel like some people just aren't trying to wrap their heads around how insane the reality of this situation really is. the phrase "fifteen minutes of fame" used to be a lot more hyperbolic than it is now. i'm exhausted

[heyyallitsbeth]

so i let the hyperfixation win.

over the past several hours i rewatched Sword Art Online and SAO 2.

(this time dubbed, last time i watched it subbed)

here are my thoughts:

-anyone who said the dub was bad is just wrong. Kirito's VA really shines in the more comedic or sweet moments (like when first meeting Yui), he reminds me of like a Peter Parker. and oh my lord, the breakdown by Suguha's VA was just a masterpiece. Still have chills from watching it.

-i have such a big appreciation for every character. This time it really shined through how good of characters Kirito, Asuna, and Suguha actually are.

Kirito's internal conflict throughout SAO2 is so good, grappling with their actions they needed to take in SAO to survive. and throughout all of it you can tell how much they truly loves their friends and family, and how kind hearted they really are. Asuna definitely fits into that role as well, being so ready to take care of Yui and so desperately wanting her to be safe and loved and cared for.

And oh my gosh Suguha. I remember people absolutely hated her arc because it is problematic, but the fact is, it's played entirely serious, her feelings arent taken as a joke. She has a genuine and real internal struggle for feeling things she feels she shouldnt, and how she feels those feelings arent reciprocated or cant be reciprocated, and having her heart broken twice by someone who she loves and someone who also does still genuinely love her. Its absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

Man, Sinon is still fantastic. She's still my absolute favorite, and I think she is one of the best characters in the show, and pretty much steals the show from her introduction. Her arc ties in so seamlessly with Kirito's and how they help eachother heal and grow is fantastic. Only complaint is we never got a scene of the rest of the Gals being jealous about the grenade hug she gave Kirito. After Kirito and Sinon nearly died, wouldve been some nice relief so you didnt feel like you yourself were dying.

-Speaking of, while there was definitely a ton of fanservice, the pseudo-harem aspect with the jokes were kinda cute, between characters seeing flirting happen around them, getting embarassed over it, its fun. Especially when people got jealous of Sinon flirting with Kirito over Excalibur. That part was very fun, since they did that infront of everyone else, almost like they were trying to get a rise out of them. Theyre not exactly the pinnacle of comedy, its definitely a trope, but theres something nostalgic about it that makes it kinda enjoyable.

-Speaking of the psuedo-harem, guys if all of you are constantly flirting with eachother (not just Kirito surprisingly, happens between the other girls frequently) and jealous of any affection with that, just start a polycule. You're a group of gamer girls playing MMOs together and all of you have slept in the same bed with eachother. Stop snipping at eachother and start dating eachother. Polyamory is pretty cool. Kirito and Asuna can still be the main duo and be the parents to Yui and Strea; but yall gotta work on the jealousy or just do what every other group of girl gamers does, polyamory. Lisbeth you should not be angrily drinking while watching Kirito and Asuna talk. (this is mostly a joke, im not actually saying they *have* to do a polycule, its more of a joke because of how tropey a lot of the flirting and jealousy is, and yknow, gay girls do polyamory, so dont take this part toooooo seriously.)

-Speaking of girls dating girls, the LGBT rep aint half bad. Argo canonically using both male and female pronouns is really cool! Most of the girls flirt with eachother a lot too, which is nice. Between the female avatar, the willingness to pretend to be a girl, the introversion, the desire to be an avatar in a virtual world more than irl, Kirito might be transgender. All good stuff here.

Overall, SAO is honestly way better than I remembered, even if some parts definitely show its age. You gotta piece it together a little bit with headcanons, but i do that with every show, nothing is perfect. Except Sinon. And a world where trans Kirito is canon. Those are perfect.

[torialefay]

Hello! I just found your blog and I'm obsessed okay? I love the combo of Kpop and Astrology and you do such a good job at it I HAD to follow instantly 🤍 I was wondering if I could have a natal chart compatibility reading? You can write which member is best suited to me (And maybe for fun briefly mention who I should stay tf away from haha 😂) My pronouns are She/Her! Thank you so much 💋

hi baby! tysm for being patient with me <3 here you gooooo!

so for most compatible, i was really struggling to choose between felix and chan. han wasn't a bad option either. but if i had to pick just ONE, i'm sticking with felix for now. but just know any of the 3 i think would be perfectly suitable. if you want me to elaborate on the other 2 a little just lmk <3

and fun fact: your sun, mercury, venus, and mars are all the same as changbin (which COULD also lead to a good relationship, but with your placements in particular i think it'd lead to more bestie vibes than anything... bc if one of yall is delusional, then so is the other one and there's no one there to pull you out of the trenches lol.)

your ascendant in taurus:

soooo i may be partial, but i really think there is such a great aura that comes with having ascendant in taurus. taurus is such a beautiful, grounding sign that also has that element of divine femininity to it from its venus ruler. it's likely that you come across as having a loving, beautiful personality & also that you have your shit together lol. as far as looks, if you are playing into your rising (which i would encourage), i'd venture to guess that you'd look & feel best in beutiful, elevated styles. this could be anywhere from super girly pink or femme fatale, but embracing that feminine energy is gonna be key. if you hone in on that, it definitely pushes you forward in a captivating way!

for skz, i think it'd be hard for any of them to be uninterested tbh. felix is a pretty ethereal guy. he just naturally draws beauty toward him. i think he'd be really intrigued by you initially and that you'd potentially really catch his eye. especially with that lovey nature taurus risings can have- making you feel super special and seen... lixie would dig it im sure.

your sun in leo:

you are definitely an encourager & able to see what people's strong suits are. felix can get a bit unsure of himself at times and i think you'd be really good at helping him work through that. his "serving" virgo energy makes me think that he'd really really want to give you anything you wanted & he'd probably like it if you were more so in the spotlight than him.

your moon in aries:

same as felix! i love a moon matchup & think it's absolutely one of the most crucial points for predicting long term compatibility. with this placement, you probably have a deep, burning desire to find passion throughout life. whether that's in a person, in art and music, in your work or service to others, in connection with your spirit, etc etc. basically, you are hungry to have purpose and fulfill it. that's not a quality that just anyone can handle. but felix does so perfectly bc he feels the exact same. you'd definitely make the most of life together :)

your mercury in cancer:

oh so you feeeeel feel? you're likely also somewhat expressive of these emotions (whether that's through verbal, through art, through mannerisms, etc). in that case, you're super in luck bc so is lixie. you both deeply understand emotions and the beauty within them. felix's libra here is a great sign to help with re-assurance for you, should you ever need it. it'd also allow for some super heart-felt convos that make your connection deeper than what others have.

your venus in virgo:

your venus tells me you're usually more attracted to super hard-working and driven individuals. people who may come across as a more "dominant" person, while still being super charming and kind. this was a part of the reason why i was having a tough time not picking chan (bc he is a virgo venus' dream ofc), BUT i think once we get past the surface, lix would be the better choice! felix can actually have a more dominant personality at times, which usually isn't seen on camera due to his dynamic within the group itself. but he definitely know how to get shit done. his venus is in libra, which means he's gonna please the shit out of you. would he have the upper hand in the bedroom? for sure. but is he not gonna do a damn thing unless you say you want it? absolutely. you could have that man on a leash making him whatever tf you want lol (sorry lixie)

your mars in scorp:

y'all are definitely gonna have some fun times & actually probably both be borderline obsessed with each other at times. i think fights would get really messy between you two and def would involve some psychological warfare. i think it'd actually take a while to work through fights too. but the other placements make up for it.

who to stay away from?

simplest answer: lee know. now i'm not saying y'all would hate each other for REAL, but i could definitely see a "love to hate" relationship here... and y'all getting on each other's nerves BAD 😂

[randomblack-girl]

Astro notes 🧜🏾‍♀️

I noticed Saturn in the 9th house might show signs of religious issues like maybe religious beliefs were pushed onto them when they were young and this made them dislike religion or feel uncomfortable with it. I have this placement and I hate when people start talking to me about religion. Especially to fix my problems like girl God isn't gonna fix my crippling depression...enough

This could also show signs of going to college late or not wanting to. Maybe being conservative? But I haven't seen that, quite the opposite surprisingly.

Jupiter in the first house come off as nerdy or like they know a lot or very ditzy maybe both.

I've noticed sag risings, degrees, or jupiter rising have eye problems.

Saturn in the 6th house like to go on diets or they just do for some reason. And they stick to it they take their health seriously probably work out often too.

Pisces venus/5th house love anything with romance, fantasy, magic and spiritual stuff like Crystals. Here's some recommendations for yall 😍

Caraval by Stephanie Garber I love this book SO MUCH just read all 3 books and her other series once upon a broken heart eats too

Idc imma put it here...The Selection series and I don't wanna hear no slander 🙅🏾‍♀️

Now you see me- the movie I just watched it and omg why is it so good !?

I think the 5th house talks about music taste along with venus. My sister has a sag venus and listens to music in Spanish she also has Uranus in her 5th house and listens to pop. And I'd say music that isn't mainstream she loves Rina Sawayama and Rosalia.

I have pisces venus in my 5th house and I listen to mostly pop-indie music. I'm a pop and rnb girlie. I don't listen to mainstream music really and I kinda write mainstream artists off sometimes. My favorite artists are probably tyler the creator and willow. I also don't really "stan" anyone I really just listen to whatever is good. I rarely stick to an artist or have a favorite. I listen to one or two songs by one artist usually then move on its rare for me to like most of their music. I noticed something similar with my sister.

I have lilith in the 11th house and tell me why damn near my whole grade hated me 😻🤭. It was mostly guys too and I also experienced cyber bullying.

Lilith in the 6th house might show issues with their health or body. I knew someone who has this placement and they have diabetes. But it could just mean being insecure about their body.

Lilith in the 11th house are the ones sending and getting n*des too like unsolicited pictures or sexual comments. Maybe they do s*x work online or thought of it. Anything negative or sexual that includes the internet. Omg this placement reminds me of Kat from Euphoria!! Damn no wonder I related to her 💀

Chiron in the 9th house might show religious trauma. This is the placement for people who grew up in the black church...iykyk.

Venus in the 2nd house have nice lips like plump and little with a prominent cupids bow. My sister has this placement and she has such cute lips!

Capricorn rising and Saturn aspects to the asc tend to be skinny the type to eat whatever and never gain weight. It could be an insecurity I have Saturn square my asc and I've always been insecure about being skinny. I've also noticed they can be tall or look tall. Basically the tall and lanky type.

8th house neptune/pisces idk but something with drugs. May become addicted to substances, die from them, die in mysterious ways.

I knew someone with their sun in the 12th house and they talked about not knowing themself and being a different person to fit in.

Gemini moons love to read but they might struggle to actually read because of their other interests.

Moon in the 8th house might be like their mom. They might look like their mom or just be similar. Just a theory but maybe it would be like that with other planets like sun in the 8th house might be like the father, venus might be like their partner, mercury like their sibling. But I'm not sure.

Leo, 5th house placements, or sun dominant might love yellow, gold, and stuff with the sun. I'm sun dominant and love gold and sun jewelry I kinda refuse to wear silver unless I have to 🤭.

Moon people might love silver I know a guy who had moon in his first house who loved silver.

Capricorn rising/Saturn rising might have something with their bones. I know a guy who is cancer rising with Saturn in his first house who talked about getting silver grills. He also had pointy knees 😭 and his teeth were sharp, fang like? And he talked about hating them. He was also tall (he was so fine chile 😩) but we must stay focused!

Gemini men will tell you anything chile...I was dating (this was middle school so I don't really claim him but anyway) this guy with a gemini venus. He told me he was into black girls (whole time he's racist) and ended up cheating on me with a white girl 😭. Now again this was middle school so take it with a grain of salt ig.

Idc what planets but having a lot of planets in the 4th house is usually not a good thing 😬. Most people with this I've noticed had a traumatic childhood.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Being Present Mic’s favorite student would include

A/n: why don’t yall show my mans any love? Like damnn smh he just out here breaking people's eardrums and tingz and y'all cant even give him some acknowledgement or what not smh. Present Mic stans, you may now rise

-I imagine you’d be like that American exchange student and you laughed at a bad pun he did in english and he felt super special because no one ever understands the puns he does, so now he’s just constantly bothering you

-like you’re just walking down the hall, trying to get to class and you just hear 

-”HEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY Y/NNNNN MRS.AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAA.”

-*invoked with fear*

-Like seriously he won’t leave you alone…..at all

-”Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN what’s upppPPp?”

-He love speaking in english to you because it’s keeps him refreshed and plus it’s fun seeing Aizawa all flustered because he only understands 60 percent of what you guys are saying

-You get used to him I promise, he’s actually like the sweetest little thing that wants the best for you uwu. Like if you’re a shy student he’ll break you out of your shell most definitely!!

 -He asks you to do his introductions because aizawa refused for the 1000th time but it actually was super fun so you don’t mind

-”GIIIVE IT UP FOR PRRREEEEEESEEEENNNTTTTTTT MICCCCCCCCC THE ONLYYYY ONEEE THATTT CAAAAN BREAAAAK YOUURR EARDRUUUMSSS AND WILL TO LIVVEEEE IN UNDER A MINUTE.”

-He did a super long hyped up into for you at the sports festival like and he kept cheering you on soo much he was like a soccer dad watching his little princess play her first game

-I swear he was wearing a shirt that said ‘Go Y/N!!’

-Everyone knows you’re his favorite like if you thought All might and Deku thing was a bit much well like he is on a whoooleeee new level

-Speaking of All might and little broccoli, there is an unspoken rivalry between All might and Present. They are always like

-”Haha did you see young Midoriya’s moves today? He is working so hard, he’ll be a great hero soon!”

-”Yeah of course, BuT did yOU sEE mY Y/N todaY????

-SocCeR DAdS

-You and deku kinda does friendly competitions just to watch the two teachers go at it

-”DEKU CLEARLY WON MIC.”

-”LISTEN YOU BLIND FOSSIL IT WAS Y/N!!”

-It was a tie tbh

-Always asking you about American slang and terms like brooo

-”y/n what’s a yeet? Someone told me  I need to yeet off a building and I kinda wanna do it for my next youtube video on youtube.”

-You helped him set up the youtube channel btw

-”so i say period after something truthful is said?”

-”YOUUUUUU ARE THE BESSSSTTTTTT STUUUUUDENTTT Y/NNNNN PERIOODDDD.”

-”like that?”

-You keep him updated on all the trends and make sure his outfits are looking good

-He lets you design a new logo for his brand

-Did I mentioned he’s like super sweet. Like one day you opened your locker to find a note he wrote for you.

-”Heeeeyyyyy Y/NNNNNNN, 

Whats upp best student evvvvvaaaaa???? I just wanted to say i’m proud of you and I heard from a little sleepy birdie (sensei Aizawa) that you aced your test in hissss claaaaaassss wooooooo!!!!! Because of that i mayyyyyyy haveee brought you ice cream that may or may not be in the fridge in the teachers lounge that you may or may not can get during lunch perioddd…… anyways MIC OUT!”

-He helps you control and project your powers when you are struggling with them

-Helps you with the weird Homework assignments All might and Aizawa gives you

-”wtf is this shit? This is your homework?? Hold on, I’m calling shouto .”

-Lets you sleep in his class

-He is like your personal translator if your japanese is a bit iffy or you don’t know how to say something

-Oh and Aizawa adores you also but like he keeps it on the down down low. Like people actually thinks he kinda doesn’t like you but that is not the case at all. Like he supports Mic’s constant spoiling of you and might throw in a gift or two with him.

-Aizawa looks at you guys as his two kids that he will literally protect at all costs. 

-If anyone is messing with you or you need something just yell out ”MR.HIZASHIIIIIII.” or “MR.AIZAWA” and he’ll be there in under a minute.

-Bakugou threatened you once, and Aizawa and Hizashi heard….lets just say he never messed with you again.

-Same goes for you, if anyone is teasing or talking wrongly about Present Mic, you’ll square up any day.

-”yeah he’s like so weird and does he realize that no one thinks he’s cool like stop trying so hard.”

-FigHt mOde ActIvaTeD

-You got in trouble but it was totally worth it and Mic was super flattered but as a teacher he still had to discipline you. He high five you tho and said he wasn’t mad and he only got you in trouble because the other teachers would have bashed him for favoritism

-Once you get more comfortable with him, You guys have like daily talks about anything and everything, he’s a really good listener and will listen to your weekly rants.

- Despite being a literal crackhead, he is super wise and has a lot of knowledge so if you need advice, just ask.

-Knows when you aren’t feeling your best and tries his all to make you smile, it usually ends up working and you’re just laughing at his bad jokes and he’s like

-”YYyyyYYYYy/NNNNNNnnnnnnNNNNNNnNnnn IS FEELiNG BEtTTeRRR  YAYayYAAY!”

-He’ll let you hide out with him and Aizawa when there’s a bunch of kids are crowding you and asking questions about your home country or when school is just overwhelming

-”MR.HIZASHIII THEY ARE AFTER ME AGAAAAIIIIN.”

-He’d 10/10 adopt you if he could

-He invited you on his radio show like twice, it actual helped gained a lot of listeners from a younger audience and even some international people listened in as well. It was actually pretty fun, of course you were a bit nervous you weren’t sure to expect but it was reallly cool. It was almost like an interview, he asked you a few questions about yourself and your school life even opinions on different heros or what not.

-DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT LET THIS FOOL KNOW YOUR BIRTHDAY, HE WILL EMBARRASS YOU INFRONT OF THE WHOOOOLEEE SCHOOL I SWEAR NO ONE CAN STOP HIM

-”But Mr.MIcCCcCc plEAsE Dontttt iTs NOt A BIg DeaL.”

-”i must y/N….LETSSS A BIGGGGGGG HAPPY HAAAAAPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAAAAYYYYY TOOOO Y/NNN L/NNNN-”

-you died 

-He got a little cake made for you, it had little candies and sparklers on it. It was mega adorbs.your name was also on it but it was spelled wrong. 

-”Here ya go Y/N! Sorry your name is spelled wrong...i tried to fix it but it got all smudged so i just left it.” 

-For his Birthday, you made a picture frame that had a selfie with the two of yall and gave him a little card that said, “Happy Birthday The best teacher evaa! You’re super great and I hope one day we can fight side by side and be the best duo in history! Enjoy your day old man. -The best student evaaa”

 -You teamed up with eraser head to throw a little surprise party for him at a cute little restaurant and he ended up crying sksksksksksdnjksk it was so soft.  

-At the dance you didn’t have a date or anything so ya boi Mic danced with you and it was uwu like super soft. He even walked around with you a bit and let you wrap your arm around his, like he’s the best teacher seriously

-At the end of the year when it was time for you to go back to America, he was devastated like seriously he’d miss you and y’alls antics. He practically begged you not to go back. Yeah he held your leg and cried on the floor….Aizawa had to pull him off of you so you could leave 

-”Don’t cry Mr.Hizashi!! I I’ll see you again one day! Thank You so much for being an awesome teacher this year, I’ll miss you.”

-you actually got approved  to come back the following year but you kept it a secret so you could surprise him when you walk in his class again.

-he was big boi shocked 

-”YYYYYYYYYYyyYYyyYyYYy/NNnnNnnNNNnnn SKDJNKHDKSK YOU’RE BACKKKKK WHERES AIZAWA I GOTTA tELL HIM SILDKSISJSSKKSNJSK DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR OMHDNKJD  ITS SO CUTEEE AHHHAHSHJSHSJHS AZIAWAAA LOOK AT OUR LITTLE GIRL SSKLKSMLS.”

[chiyohsrifle]

Got tagged by the marvelous @hvnnigram and I can't wait to bare my soul to you guys. this is a long one, so let's go!!

Rules: Tag people you want to get to know better 🖤

Your name and then what you would've named yourself: My full name is Montserrat (I'm Mexican, in case you couldn't tell. Well Mexican-American but anywho) but I typically go by Montse. Mainly cuz people struggle to pronounce my full name hehe but I also just think it's less of a mouthful. Idk, I honestly really love my name and don't think I'd change it given the chance. Maybe something shorter just cuz paperwork can be a bitch. I like Rene but otherwise, I'm pretty attached to my name lol.

Astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): I'm a sun Pisces, a moon Aries, and a rising Virgo, I believe :)) All in all, I'm an emotional, empathetic bitch

When did you join Tumblr and why?: Was going through my emails yesterday and I've been here for a year?? apparently. So yea, I joined Aug./Nov. of 2019 and I'm almost certain it was cuz I wanted to see more Good Omens fanart lol. But I got more active this year cuz quarantine do be forcing me to have some wack coping mechanisms. Also BBC Merlin had me reeling and I needed somewhere to scream.

Top 5 fandoms: Hannibal (obviously), BBC Merlin, Killing Eve, Good Omens, and The Umbrella Academy 😊

Top 5 favorite films: (oh Lord, the cinema buff in me is Panicking rn) God, there's so many I love but I'll try to give varietyTM. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Parasite (2019), The Wind Rises (2013), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), and Hector and the Search for Happiness (2014).

Go to song when you wanna Feel something: if we're talking like emotionally charged, TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan always sends me reeling. Endorphins wise, Ahora Te Puedes Marchar by Luis Miguel always makes me wanna jump and move around. And La Vie Boheme from RENT, just pure serotonin

What's your religion or faith, if you have one?: I was raised with a heavy Catholic background but I'm agnostic, I believe is the term. Basically, I don't think there's not a God or higher power(s). I just don't align with anything specifically. But I do believe there's something running things, whether that be spirits, the stars, gods, etc. I can't say.

A song that makes you feel seen: Not to be a theatre kid on main but, Breathe from In The Heights. That song and whole musical hold such a special place in my heart, esp with Nina's character cuz I'm Nina. Every part of that song just Gets Me and i ugh, can't articulate it but yea, that song be me.

If you could pick a career: A writer or painter. Anything creative/artsy really cuz crafting is just so calming to me.

Do you have a type?: ngl, I'm kinda the 'falls in love with their best friend' stereotype but beyond that, not really. I kinda just see attractive people and mentally short circuit

What does your soul/heart yearn for?: Not to sound like a character from Hannibal, but to be understood. To be cared for and feel supported. To allow myself to rest and be comforted/loved. Just to feel safe ig. Whoop, that got personal, anywho

If you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: intelligent, caring, awkward, Very Queer, and chaotic

Favorite subject in school: English and History!! I think they're absolutely fascinating and I'm gay so obviously I connect way too much with literature

Where does your soul feel most at home at?: Close to someone that I love, in comfortable silence. Or any situation where I have wind blowing in my face, it's super comforting and idk why

Top 5 fictional characters: Rowena from SPN, Bella Crawford, Beverly Katz, Eve Polastri, and Jack Crawford

Top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry:

1. The ending of Your Lie In April. Idk if any of yall have experienced that, but let me know if you have cuz shared trauma. I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe. Dry heaving and everything, it was Not Pretty

2. Like literally all of One Day At Time. I know, it's cheesy but that show means a lot to me and I get so emotional watching it cuz I connect to the characters so much. Anything with Elena makes me sob cuz like she's me but also my baby, ya know

3. Um Queer Eye in general but specifically the episode with the gay pastor. That hit close to home on so many levels and boy, was I sobbing the entire time.

(Before y'all ask, honorable mention to Mizumono, TWOTL, and the ending of BBC Merlin cuz I may have been too tired to cry, but trust me, I was emotionally wrecked after all three)

The earth, the sun, the moon, or the stars: Ooh, I'm gonna have to go with the stars but I love that lesbian space rock too

Favorite kind of weather: Thunderstorms, rain, cloudy, grey weather. Fall, I love the fall, give me autumn pleASE

Top 3 characters to kin you with: Guinevere Pendragon from BBC Merlin, Vanya Hargreeves from TUA, and Abigail Hobbs from Hannibal

Favorite medium of art: I love all art very much but I guess drawing and film especially

Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert: Gonna say ambivert cuz I can be shy but buckle up, cuz the second I'm comfortable around you, it's absolute chaos. You will learn too much about me and that's okay 😌

Favorite literary quote: If poetry counts, it's something like "And if the devil was to ever see you, he'd kiss your eyes and repent". Idk who wrote it but it's an Arabic love poem. Actual book quote tho, "But I'm tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these little ways." from Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda cuz damn me too.

Some of your favorite books: Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, the Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell, When I Was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago, Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, All The Bright Places by Jennifer Lee, Autoboygraphy, and Copper Sun

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?: Europe or New York. No real specifics for Europe, defiently leaning more towards Western Europe and the Mediterranean cuz they just seem so pretty. And NY cuz I want a studio apartment hehe and also I adore NY. I went a couple years back and just fell in love. Although live is a loose term cuz I've always thought of moving around a lot. I like traveling and settling down isn't really convenient for that so these are kinda just ideals lol

If you could live in any time in history, when would it be?: Oh, defiently 60s/70s. Also, anytime matriarch societies were common cuz I wanna see what that looked like

If you could play any instrument masterfully, it would be: the acoustic guitar and piano. Maybe violin, but those two for sure

If you have one, which god or goddess do you feel more connected to?: I've always really vibed with Athena so her. But also Diyonuses cuz man's is the ideal.

And finally, your favorite recent selfie in your camera role:

(Excuse the eye bags and look in general, I was sleepy when I took it)

Whoo, that's all folks. I'm just gonna say that any of my followers/mutuals who want to do this, feel free to say I tagged you. Thanks for tag, once again, babe!!

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E13

quarantine diaries: june 4 2020

season 2 episode 13: “Resurrection”

those buildings in flames. that burning horse. definitely reminding me of game of thrones

yikes. but hey can you give me a hand?

remember how they have one healer? i bet they wished that they had more than one now. they better at least start an apprenticeship. oh look at abby stepping up. but still only 2 healers in a field of injured bodies. 

indra said put me down reaper. yes while were on the topic. remember how much of a struggle it was to detox lincoln in the first place...am i just supposed to assume that just quickly detoxed himself after seeing octavia??? seems kinda too convenient. woah they just double tapped indra. but she aint gonna die 

i kinda agree that these sky people are the bringers of death. i know we dont know what kind of life the grounders had pre sky people but this all takes people within a few months and i gotta same damn. when shit goes down shit goes down. 

that is deep hole. how did abby hear kane? especially with all the gunshots and other people screaming and yelling??

monty can do anything jasper. they brought back the hand shake!!!! 

there are so many baldies. i cant tell them apart from lincoln. i legit thought that he was the one that was shot.

that touching of foreheads. i know it was meant to be romantic but it really seemed forced. i honestly dont see the chemisty between octavia and lincoln.

woah jasper. woah monty. woah miller. these kids were ready to murder. red wedding who? 

honestly i didnt care about fox so im not that mad. but monty you didnt have to show jasper the video. that just assault to injury

american psycho who?

where is bellamy? its been too long since ive seen him

abby and kane... ship?

plot armor is strong with kane. no waaaaay abby. thank god i though that they super radiation blood was gonna also give them super strength. but at last not that lucky is she. 

shes said im not leaving you. i know that aint clarke. screw clarke.

BELLAMY my boy. too been too long but at least you made it. bellamy and fox....ship? this better not be a ship

he said ‘really? because im not getting that.” bellamy vibe checked mayas dad so hard. bellamy is the vibe checker of the show. he went:

i feel your anger. yes clarke send out those angry vibez

how did clarke recognize lincon in the darkness especially when there are so many bald guys? not to mention she didnt know about him returned from mount weather after delivering bellamy

ooo abby using physics but when that concrete fell back on the wound. i screamed. ooo and ofc the rubble falls on them because the writers said why the hell not. 

aaah what an ethical dilemma. “all you have to do is surrender” but surrender means death for the 47 so that means 47 for one life 

its morning already. that sniper be there all night. how much ammunition did he bring?? 

this is not the time to be drinking Octavia especially not from a random, unlabeled bottle you found on the ground. but plot armor is strong like smoke wasnt even fully covering her

ooo yikes monty. its ok monty i forgive you

karmas a bitch abby. but also how are you still alive? what was that? did someone say plot armor??

abby said it is my fault. clarke is my daughter she said. ooof. way to stay quiet abby. what a snitch. but snitches be getting stitches.

you know it kane. yeah this is learned behavior

‘like floating the man you love to save your people’-abby the same people who only a few months later released the same video that she had her husband floated for. abby you didnt save anyone. fuck you abby. 

i dont like to play god or anything but i gotta say it abby i dont really think that you deserve to survive. but good on you for questioning that 

monty said screw this. yes monty. 

of course its bellamy. but how? how did he get there? how did know the way there? like did he have mayas father whisper in his ear piece where to go??

aww i love the hugs between bellamy and jasper

jasper brought about FINN and his peace talks. yikesssss

but wait tho. this sniper is hella far from the village with forest of trees in his line of vision. who chose this vantage point because it sucks.

clarke really thought she was gonna out snipe a sniper with a pistol. 

lincoln again with the headbutt

the shot through lincolns shoulder to the guy. what a shot? but how clarke?!! like clarke only had one shooting lesson with bellamy. but i guess bellamy is a REALLY good teacher i guess. 

oooo that blood. but where did that blood come from honestly? where did the dead bodies go? am i just supposed to assume that these kids rubbed the body on the floor in that weird pattern?

how these mountain men not suspect of an inside man. like no one is suspicious of bellamy? hes too tall, too tan, too beautiful to fit in with these pasty ass vampires. but i guess the hat is just erases all that

you would think that these guys would be dead but plot armor is strong. let me be blunt. i dont care about abby or kane right now. like they dont have that many redeemable qualities but fine let abby’s healing skills save her once again

“we got two survivors” but dont yall remember when there was another girl screaming but abby was like no im not leaving you kane. basically abby let another person die. cuz i mean its not like she helped kane that much yet she stayed when she could have been helping another person. hmm

wow octavia and lincoln are the most consistent out of all the ships. octavia you surprise me. like i really thought you would have moved on by now. but why does it have to be them? they are my least favorite ship.

what a party popper abby. and with that stare between clarke and abby. i have never seen such a toxic mother daughter relationship ever in my life.

aww indra and lincoln. i love when friends reconnect.

this conversation between abby and clarke i cringed. the relationship is so strained it hurts to watch.

but abby, are you really the good guys tho? if it werent for monty and bellamy y’all could have fooled me. because you really be doing some questionable shit.

this music tho. they are trying to make it look heroic and epic but umm they're not. like maybe they were going for phoenix/rising from the ashes, vibez but they look pretty worn out and tired if you ask me

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[wannawrite]

혼자야 - forever rain 🌫

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group: day6

members: park jaehyung, kang younghyun

genre: platonic, brotherly "fluff" :">>

a/n: jaehyungparkian but written with no intention of making it gay HAHAHAHA i really love their relationship +++ I WAS IN SUCH A BIG WRITING RUT so this was birthed ¡¡¡ originally a reject of my youngk series (when you love someone) LOL

imagine that brian doesnt know jae well yet and vice versa yEA HAHAHA this takes place before congratulations era~

_________________________

Just as the clouds shrouding the city in mist had so subtly predicted, it had began to rain, and it had began to rain mercilessly.

The raindrops fell from the clouds, plummeting towards Younghyun's bangs at a lightning pace as if the seemingly harmless, rolls of white and grey had finally reached its breaking point and decided to offload their anger on the public.

Gradually, with each droplet gathering into one big puddle, and escalating into a waterfall, he could see the drops draping precariously on the rough tips of his brush shaped bangs, as if he was wearing beads on the tips of his hair.

Younghyun sighed as a song he held dearly to his heart, the song that spoke for their hustling generation, Forever Rain started to play, perfectly in sync with the now, unlike him. He had sighed a lot of times today, but that was most probably, his expression to life most of the time.

His songs, too, were sighs of his own. Younghyun's self written songs were never a voice of his own-they were simply a insignificant puff of hot steam, emanating tiredly into the air like a ball of wispy feathers only to disappear into thin air two seconds.

This song on his phone too, was a sigh.

A beautiful sigh.

Just like you

If I could

Just knock on somewhere

If I could kiss

The whole world so hard

Would someone welcome me

Maybe embrace my weary body

His pretty, gradually angled eyes looked up to the sky with the gaze of a baby lamb-innocent and demure. The world seemed to stop for him as he saw the beautiful teardrops of the sky pour down, knocking furiously onto his shoulder and asking for an invitation to come in.

The clouds were of white, grey, and dark grey hues, all layered vaguely together in a gently fierce gradient as their feelings oozed out onto the lamp posts, from the tips of Younghyun's raven locks to the edges of his tailor made black shoes, skimming to the depths of the drain.

The sky when it cried was so beautiful, and so unjudgemental to whoever it poured out its feelings to.

However, beneath the curtain of his clustered, jet black hair hid Younghyun's gentle sigh-in the knowledge that he'd never be able to do the same with his group members.

Still, for the first time since he had come to the thriving, fast paced city of Seoul, Younghyun felt raw, enveloping love drip through every vein in his blood as he stood upright amidst the care of the rain, and listened silently.

____________________________

"Younghyun! What the heck, why are you standing like that there? You're a soaking mess, get over here!"

Revelling in the quiet of the rain caressing his ears gently and quickly, Younghyun hadn't noticed anything amidst his little zone of peace until his ears opened before his eyes did. Standing across the road was a tall figure with a striking, red umbrella domed over his even more striking blonde bangs.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I just-" Younghyun struggled to gather his words, scrambled across the road like the rain puddles as he broke from his standing position, with rising fear of disappointing his friend in his chest.

"You don't have to apologise. I know you've always liked the rain, you told me that." Jae laughed in his low, boyish voice before placing a hand on Younghyun, who had finally came back to reality and started to approach his friend. Knowing very well that it wasn't the reason for him standing there, the younger boy couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt surface to his forehead as he nodded slowly.

As both of them walked to the venue with a sudden, yet somehow not so awkward silence hanging around them, Younghyun knew, with an uneasy feeling in his heart-that someone that took to socialising like a duck to water, would never understand the pleasure of having something as insignificant as the rain to accompany them.

"H-Hyung?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever felt lonely before?"

The squeaky sound of Jae's rubber soles ceased with his question, and they stopped walking, in sync with the previous calmness that had soothed Younghyun.

Filling the awkward silence was the pattering of raindrops, crashing louder on the field of ridges in the pavement but a little softer on their umbrella.

Suddenly, the rain didn't seem so comforting after all.

"Lots of times." Jae suddenly spoke to break the silence, with an unreadable, blank expression on his face. Not being able to see a smile spread across his dashing, clear cut features felt very foreign to the younger boy, and seeing Jae feeling lonely, felt just as foreign to him.

Surprise was evident on Younghyun's face as he susceptibly raised an eyebrow.

"You're joking." he said disbelievingly.

Jae shook his head quietly. "No, I'm not."

He looked to the floor with an unusual maturity emanating from his gaze, and paused for a bit before speaking again.

"Just because I have a lot of friends doesn't mean I don't feel alone."

Instinctively and unconsciously, Younghyun's lips parted ever so slightly, gaze transfixed sharply onto the sad sliver of light skating across the curves in Jae's small, miniscule pupils.

He never really saw Jae this sad over something as small as being alone. Over being away from home, sure-over occasional fights with members, sure-but never, the hollowness of not having someone by your side.

Then, an uncheerful-maybe even condescending, maybe even bitter laugh slipped through the gaps of Jae's loosely clenched teeth.

"Ah, Younghyun, I really, really can relate to All Alone more than you think I can." he said, tone a lot more gentle than before before continuing, "It's funny, isn't it? When you have so many people surrounding you but it makes you more lonely than you were before."

Slowly recalling the sting of past incidents, Younghyun found himself nodding as he replied, "Yeah. It really just feels like...just feels like..."

"No one really cares."

The same words had come out from the mouth of two seemingly different people.

Then, with a brief exchange of glances, Younghyun started to giggle with an understanding, almost happy feeling in the crease of his eyes, and in turn, causing Jae to giggle back.

They both stood stupidly in the crowd, in the prominent presence of the storm clashing behind them-laughing, laughing and laughing, before reality hit their smiles like a brick and put a halt on their silly fit.

"H-Hey, Younghyun-or should I say, Brian-" Jae teased, with the corner of his smirk digging a small dimple at the side of his lips and earning a slap from Younghyun- "whenever you feel lonely, talk to me, yeah? We can be lonely together."

Casually, he hung a lazy arm around Younghyun's shoulder, eliciting an endearing, hearty laugh from the younger boy.

In turn, Jae's smirk softened to a smile.

"I'm totally cringing at myself for saying this, but-I'm always there for you."

Feeling the warmth amidst the cold weather beneath the laces and crosses of Jae's soft, red jumper, Younghyun's heart blossomed a small spark of warmth himself-a warmth he had never felt upon arriving in Seoul.

"I'm always there for you too, chicken-hyung." he smirked, masking his gratitude well and subsequently, arousing a strong reaction from Jae. "Hey, excuse you, since when were you-hahahahaha-allowed to-HAHAHAHAHA-tickle me?!"

In the rain, as two children played, beneath his squeals of laughter Younghyun thought inwardly-that if this was really the after effects of the rain, he wanted it to rain forever.

THE END

_____________________

forgive me for how absurdly cliché this story is, this is just a warm up LOL i was having writers block after church camp but ughhh i learnt sm and grew sm spiritually <333 my life has honestly changed forever and isjdjsjsjdjs im so SOOOOO thankful rnnn hhh

anywaY like this was originally supposed to follow up w my current youngk series but i didnt really write it w my emotions so i was largely unsatisfied ://// so it was an unfinished reject sitting in my notes for a while and i really never intended to publish it HAHAHAHA until i realised i hadnt wrote in ages and then liKe i felt so so empty nd i felt like i had forgot how to immerse myself properly whenever i tried to start a chapter so all of them came out really fake and it was like a 8 year old composition quality work LOL but anyway even tho im not that happy w this either i needed smth to write (without having to think up an opening LOL IM WORST AT STARTING A STORY) to help me grasp my emotions better again <33 so i started today at "H-Hyung" HAHAHAHHAAHA obvi it has to be about my 2 day6 biases uwuwuwuwuwu

IF YALL CLDNT TELL BTW THe sCOPE OF THIS STORY WAS LARGELY INSPIRED BY MY MANS KIM NAMJOON UWUWUWU stream mono guys he deserves it :3333 alt this mixtape has been getting a lot of hypE BUT hehehe idk ilh and forever rain especially :)

also i apologise if yall are getting sick of seeing so much day6 on this blog lol as u can see i have been SO SO hooked onto their music and knowing more about them so ;------; i will write whilst i have the most inspiration to do so !!

thanks for sticking by my shitty posting times rip :"""" this is also to revive the blog because l and i r on vacay watch it slowly die for the next few days iM SORRY :(

from your favourite chicken and briyani enthusiast ^3^

(WILL BE EDITED SOON)

[trendingnewsb]

Issa Rae: ‘So much of the media presents blackness as fierce and flawless. Im not’

The creator of Insecure talks the dating totem pole, films obsession with slavery and the gender-race pay gap as season two begins

I dont want the stench of the current administration on this show, says Issa Rae. I dont want people to look back and be like: Oh, this was a Trump show. I want them to look back and say Insecure was an Obama show. Because it is: Obama enabled this show. The sharp, pithy, Los Angeles-set comedy, dubbed by US fashion and beauty site the Cut as the black, millennial Sex and The City, which Rae co-created, writes and stars in, first aired on HBO last autumn, exactly a month before the US election. Culturally, Obama made blackness so present, and so appreciated; people felt seen and heard; it influenced the arts, and it absolutely influenced how I see blackness, how I appreciate it, says the 32-year-old Rae. When a black president is a norm, it enables us to be, too.

Being a norm is a matter of some import to the actor and writer, who in spite of her personal allegiances had no desire to make an overtly political show. She never wanted Insecure to be, as she says with a generous eye-roll, a story about the struggle or the dramatic burdens of being black. At the heart of the series is the relationship between her on-screen iteration also named Issa, who works for an educational nonprofit called We Got Yall and raps soliloquies to herself in the mirror and her best friend Molly (Yvonne Orji), a high-flying corporate lawyer. Together, they navigate the professional and personal challenges of late-20s urban life.

I just wanted to see my friends and I reflected on television, in the same way that white people are allowed, and which nobody questions, continues Rae. Nobody watches Divorce [a HBO stablemate, starring Sarah Jessica Parker] and asks: What is the political element, what is the racial element driving this?

Watch the trailer for season two of Insecure.

But so rare is it to see what its creator describes as a show about regular black people being basic in contemporary entertainment Insecure has nonetheless been hailed as revolutionary. It wasnt always so. Growing up, Rae was an avid fan of the predominantly black US sitcoms Moesha, Girlfriends and A Different World. Then they disappeared, she says of the film and television landscape. Somewhere along the way, being white became seen as relatable, and you started to see people of colour only reflected as stereotypes or specific archetypes. So much of the media now presents blackness as being cool, or able to dance, or fierce and flawless, or just out of control; Im not any of those things.

It is a hot and swampy summer afternoon in Manhattan, and Rae is in town doing the requisite rounds of late-night talkshow appearances ahead of Insecures season two premiere. On arrival, she seems a little lethargic entirely understandable, given her promotional schedule. But once seated in a buzzy restaurant, specifically chosen because its the sort of spot that the on-screen Issa and her girlfriends would patronise, Rae immediately perks up, emanating charismatic good humour.

Born in an affluent suburb of Los Angeles, Rae real name Jo-Issa Rae Diop is the third of five children, her father a Senegalese doctor, her mother a teacher from Louisiana. The rapid rise in gang violence in the city prompted Raes parents to move the family to Senegals capital, Dakar, when Rae was five years old. Her father tried to open a hospital there but things didnt work out and, three years later, they came back to the US, but to Potomac, Maryland, on the east coast, where Rae attended a predominantly white private school. When the family moved once again, this time back to LA, Rae entered a largely black and Latino school. Everybody thought I was lame and hated me, she says, matter-of-factly. It was a huge culture shock.

Part of the on-screen Issas insecurity of feeling not black enough for black people and not white enough for white people is, Rae says, something that I have been called out for by kids in my life. Ive experienced a real sense of feeling out of place. But with admirable chutzpah, she found a creative solution: I wrote a play and cast all of my bullies, and they loved it. They thought I was cool after that. She pauses, and gives a wry smile. Well, cool is a strong word. But I wasnt on their shit-list any more.

Big society … Raes character with co-worker Frieda (Lisa Joyce). Photograph: Justina Mintz/HBO

While studying at Stanford University, Rae began to notice that many of the television shows she loved, including Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld, were all-white comedies. Of course, sense of humour is relative, is subjective, but there is an assumption that black people wont find certain things about white comedies funny, she says. I got really frustrated and just wanted to start making my own stories. She conceived and directed Dorm Diaries, a mock reality show with an all-black cast, in the style of MTVs The Real World. When she posted it to Facebook, it quickly circulated, and Rae realised that she had a talent for portraying everyday black life; she has called it my epiphany moment. A few years later, she created what would be her breakthrough web series and the forerunner to Insecure, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.

A web show is one thing, of course, a mainstream television show on a high-profile cable network quite another. I ask her about the sociologist and civil rights activist WEB Duboiss concept of double consciousness, which she has referenced in the past, defined as the psychological challenge of always looking at ones self through the eyes of a white society. Does she feel that even more sharply now than before?

Absolutely. I didnt create this show for white people, I didnt create it for men; I created it, really, for my friends and family, and for their specific sense of humour, she nods. But now that we know we have an audience including HBO executives the double consciousness comes into play, because youre always wondering: How do they see what I am writing? Are they laughing at this specific joke for this particular reason? When season one aired, I had Asian women coming up to me on the street, saying: Oh my gosh, this reminds me of me and my best friend, she recalls. And thats wonderful thats what you want for a show but you are always wondering: What elements do they relate to the most?

I suggest that in future she stops fans and asks for further, more detailed feedback. She throws her head back and laughs. Yes. Excuse me, but why do you like the show? Tell me right now, please.

Boyfriend material … Jay Ellis as Lawrence in Insecure. Photograph: Justina Mintz/HBO

While Insecure may be only inadvertently political, this second season is noticeably more charged with social commentary, and examples of everyday discrimination. Through Molly, the show explores the gender pay gap, with an added issue to unpick: is she being paid less because of her gender, or her ethnicity, or both? These are questions that we constantly have to ask ourselves, as minorities, or double minorities, or triple minorities, nods Rae. In terms of the intersectionality of it all, you are constantly asking yourself: Which part of me is being discriminated against? Which part of me is being targeted? If not all parts of me.

The often-dispiriting experience of modern dating features prominently, too. At the start of this series, Issa has recently broken up from her long-term boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), and thrown herself into the choppy waters of Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. Dating in todays digitally enabled world is rough enough but there is, Rae believes, an added dimension for her characters. Black women are at the bottom of the desire chain, of the dating totem pole; were not the trophies, she says.

In rap culture, especially, theres always an idea that once you achieve an amount of success, your trophy is the white girl on your arm. However, she asserts, thats not limited to hip-hop. Its not scientifically proven, but theres evidence, in dating apps for example, that were the last to be chosen, the least desirable. The theory is also explored in Aziz Ansaris Netflix show Master of None, which includes a scene in which one of his dates, a black woman, tells him: Compared to my white friends, I get way less activity [on app dating sites]. I also find that I rarely match with guys outside of my race.

Lawrence, meanwhile, is also experiencing discrimination, albeit in a different form. In one scene spoiler alert! he is picked up by two non-black girls at a grocery store, who lure him to their apartment, where they proceed to seduce him. Their fetishisation of his blackness has echoes of Get Out, Jordan Peeles racism-thriller which triumphed at the box office earlier this year.

That was based on a real-life situation that one of our writers shared, says Rae of the uncomfortable tryst. It didnt end well, which had nothing to do with his blackness, but we thought: How can we make this story apply to fit our show? Every show can have a threesome story gone awry, but how can we make it unique for Insecure?

Off the clock … Rae in New York last month. Photograph: Amy Sussman/Invision/AP

There is a show-within-the-show too, an antebellum-era television drama that several of Insecures characters are glued to. Last year, our show-within-a-show was Conjugal Visits, which was a comment on the trash TV that consumes us all. Setting it in a prison a system which, in this country, incarcerates mainly black and Latino people and making that entertainment, was definitely meta-commentary, nods Rae.

This seasons skewering of popular culture is no less pointed. Theres [been] such an obsession with depicting slavery that the last few years, I have been kind of slaved-out, she sighs. So we thought it would be funny to have the characters obsessed with this new slave interracial drama. A guest-starring role for Sterling K Brown, who won an Emmy for his portrayal of prosecutor Christopher Darden in The People Vs OJ Simpson, ups that meta ante even further, but Rae is quick to assure me that this wasnt a casting that she chased down. No! We actually have an anti-celebrity policy on the show, she insists. We were doing something together for the Independent Spirit awards, and he was, like: I love your show, if you ever want to cast me The musician Syd, another self-proclaimed fan of the show, also makes a brief cameo.

Although Rae resists comparisons between Insecure and Girls and of herself to its creator Lena Dunham: I get the inclination to compare us because were both young women, but the stories were telling couldnt be more different, she says the two share a deliciously frank depiction of female sexuality. Broken Pussy, one of Issas raps, became something of a refrain in season one, after she speculates that Mollys run of bad luck with men might be the result of a defective filtering system.

My friend and I have a thing where we talk in, um, pussy sounds, Rae laughs. I think that most women know whether they want to sleep with a guy or not within the first five minutes of meeting him, and so we speak in Marge Simpson voices about whether or not a guy could get it. She demonstrates. If its a yes, well say: My pussy was like: [Perky, eager voice] Mm-hm, girl. Or, My pussy was like, [Low, negative tones]: Mm-mm. So, the conversation about Molly feeling like she wasnt attracting the right type of guys was me suggesting her pussy might actually be broken.

What did her mother make of this particular piece of dialogue? She only saw it at the screening! Rae laughs. She pulled me aside afterwards and was, like: That mouth, were going to wash it out but, good job.

Insecure continues on Thursday 10 August, 10.35pm, Sky Atlantic

Read more: http://ift.tt/2utz7rj

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2vrlf5P via Viral News HQ

[trendingnewsb]

Issa Rae: ‘So much of the media presents blackness as fierce and flawless. Im not’

The creator of Insecure talks the dating totem pole, films obsession with slavery and the gender-race pay gap as season two begins

I dont want the stench of the current administration on this show, says Issa Rae. I dont want people to look back and be like: Oh, this was a Trump show. I want them to look back and say Insecure was an Obama show. Because it is: Obama enabled this show. The sharp, pithy, Los Angeles-set comedy, dubbed by US fashion and beauty site the Cut as the black, millennial Sex and The City, which Rae co-created, writes and stars in, first aired on HBO last autumn, exactly a month before the US election. Culturally, Obama made blackness so present, and so appreciated; people felt seen and heard; it influenced the arts, and it absolutely influenced how I see blackness, how I appreciate it, says the 32-year-old Rae. When a black president is a norm, it enables us to be, too.

Being a norm is a matter of some import to the actor and writer, who in spite of her personal allegiances had no desire to make an overtly political show. She never wanted Insecure to be, as she says with a generous eye-roll, a story about the struggle or the dramatic burdens of being black. At the heart of the series is the relationship between her on-screen iteration also named Issa, who works for an educational nonprofit called We Got Yall and raps soliloquies to herself in the mirror and her best friend Molly (Yvonne Orji), a high-flying corporate lawyer. Together, they navigate the professional and personal challenges of late-20s urban life.

I just wanted to see my friends and I reflected on television, in the same way that white people are allowed, and which nobody questions, continues Rae. Nobody watches Divorce [a HBO stablemate, starring Sarah Jessica Parker] and asks: What is the political element, what is the racial element driving this?

Watch the trailer for season two of Insecure.

But so rare is it to see what its creator describes as a show about regular black people being basic in contemporary entertainment Insecure has nonetheless been hailed as revolutionary. It wasnt always so. Growing up, Rae was an avid fan of the predominantly black US sitcoms Moesha, Girlfriends and A Different World. Then they disappeared, she says of the film and television landscape. Somewhere along the way, being white became seen as relatable, and you started to see people of colour only reflected as stereotypes or specific archetypes. So much of the media now presents blackness as being cool, or able to dance, or fierce and flawless, or just out of control; Im not any of those things.

It is a hot and swampy summer afternoon in Manhattan, and Rae is in town doing the requisite rounds of late-night talkshow appearances ahead of Insecures season two premiere. On arrival, she seems a little lethargic entirely understandable, given her promotional schedule. But once seated in a buzzy restaurant, specifically chosen because its the sort of spot that the on-screen Issa and her girlfriends would patronise, Rae immediately perks up, emanating charismatic good humour.

Born in an affluent suburb of Los Angeles, Rae real name Jo-Issa Rae Diop is the third of five children, her father a Senegalese doctor, her mother a teacher from Louisiana. The rapid rise in gang violence in the city prompted Raes parents to move the family to Senegals capital, Dakar, when Rae was five years old. Her father tried to open a hospital there but things didnt work out and, three years later, they came back to the US, but to Potomac, Maryland, on the east coast, where Rae attended a predominantly white private school. When the family moved once again, this time back to LA, Rae entered a largely black and Latino school. Everybody thought I was lame and hated me, she says, matter-of-factly. It was a huge culture shock.

Part of the on-screen Issas insecurity of feeling not black enough for black people and not white enough for white people is, Rae says, something that I have been called out for by kids in my life. Ive experienced a real sense of feeling out of place. But with admirable chutzpah, she found a creative solution: I wrote a play and cast all of my bullies, and they loved it. They thought I was cool after that. She pauses, and gives a wry smile. Well, cool is a strong word. But I wasnt on their shit-list any more.

Big society … Raes character with co-worker Frieda (Lisa Joyce). Photograph: Justina Mintz/HBO

While studying at Stanford University, Rae began to notice that many of the television shows she loved, including Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld, were all-white comedies. Of course, sense of humour is relative, is subjective, but there is an assumption that black people wont find certain things about white comedies funny, she says. I got really frustrated and just wanted to start making my own stories. She conceived and directed Dorm Diaries, a mock reality show with an all-black cast, in the style of MTVs The Real World. When she posted it to Facebook, it quickly circulated, and Rae realised that she had a talent for portraying everyday black life; she has called it my epiphany moment. A few years later, she created what would be her breakthrough web series and the forerunner to Insecure, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl.

A web show is one thing, of course, a mainstream television show on a high-profile cable network quite another. I ask her about the sociologist and civil rights activist WEB Duboiss concept of double consciousness, which she has referenced in the past, defined as the psychological challenge of always looking at ones self through the eyes of a white society. Does she feel that even more sharply now than before?

Absolutely. I didnt create this show for white people, I didnt create it for men; I created it, really, for my friends and family, and for their specific sense of humour, she nods. But now that we know we have an audience including HBO executives the double consciousness comes into play, because youre always wondering: How do they see what I am writing? Are they laughing at this specific joke for this particular reason? When season one aired, I had Asian women coming up to me on the street, saying: Oh my gosh, this reminds me of me and my best friend, she recalls. And thats wonderful thats what you want for a show but you are always wondering: What elements do they relate to the most?

I suggest that in future she stops fans and asks for further, more detailed feedback. She throws her head back and laughs. Yes. Excuse me, but why do you like the show? Tell me right now, please.

Boyfriend material … Jay Ellis as Lawrence in Insecure. Photograph: Justina Mintz/HBO

While Insecure may be only inadvertently political, this second season is noticeably more charged with social commentary, and examples of everyday discrimination. Through Molly, the show explores the gender pay gap, with an added issue to unpick: is she being paid less because of her gender, or her ethnicity, or both? These are questions that we constantly have to ask ourselves, as minorities, or double minorities, or triple minorities, nods Rae. In terms of the intersectionality of it all, you are constantly asking yourself: Which part of me is being discriminated against? Which part of me is being targeted? If not all parts of me.

The often-dispiriting experience of modern dating features prominently, too. At the start of this series, Issa has recently broken up from her long-term boyfriend, Lawrence (Jay Ellis), and thrown herself into the choppy waters of Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. Dating in todays digitally enabled world is rough enough but there is, Rae believes, an added dimension for her characters. Black women are at the bottom of the desire chain, of the dating totem pole; were not the trophies, she says.

In rap culture, especially, theres always an idea that once you achieve an amount of success, your trophy is the white girl on your arm. However, she asserts, thats not limited to hip-hop. Its not scientifically proven, but theres evidence, in dating apps for example, that were the last to be chosen, the least desirable. The theory is also explored in Aziz Ansaris Netflix show Master of None, which includes a scene in which one of his dates, a black woman, tells him: Compared to my white friends, I get way less activity [on app dating sites]. I also find that I rarely match with guys outside of my race.

Lawrence, meanwhile, is also experiencing discrimination, albeit in a different form. In one scene spoiler alert! he is picked up by two non-black girls at a grocery store, who lure him to their apartment, where they proceed to seduce him. Their fetishisation of his blackness has echoes of Get Out, Jordan Peeles racism-thriller which triumphed at the box office earlier this year.

That was based on a real-life situation that one of our writers shared, says Rae of the uncomfortable tryst. It didnt end well, which had nothing to do with his blackness, but we thought: How can we make this story apply to fit our show? Every show can have a threesome story gone awry, but how can we make it unique for Insecure?

Off the clock … Rae in New York last month. Photograph: Amy Sussman/Invision/AP

There is a show-within-the-show too, an antebellum-era television drama that several of Insecures characters are glued to. Last year, our show-within-a-show was Conjugal Visits, which was a comment on the trash TV that consumes us all. Setting it in a prison a system which, in this country, incarcerates mainly black and Latino people and making that entertainment, was definitely meta-commentary, nods Rae.

This seasons skewering of popular culture is no less pointed. Theres [been] such an obsession with depicting slavery that the last few years, I have been kind of slaved-out, she sighs. So we thought it would be funny to have the characters obsessed with this new slave interracial drama. A guest-starring role for Sterling K Brown, who won an Emmy for his portrayal of prosecutor Christopher Darden in The People Vs OJ Simpson, ups that meta ante even further, but Rae is quick to assure me that this wasnt a casting that she chased down. No! We actually have an anti-celebrity policy on the show, she insists. We were doing something together for the Independent Spirit awards, and he was, like: I love your show, if you ever want to cast me The musician Syd, another self-proclaimed fan of the show, also makes a brief cameo.

Although Rae resists comparisons between Insecure and Girls and of herself to its creator Lena Dunham: I get the inclination to compare us because were both young women, but the stories were telling couldnt be more different, she says the two share a deliciously frank depiction of female sexuality. Broken Pussy, one of Issas raps, became something of a refrain in season one, after she speculates that Mollys run of bad luck with men might be the result of a defective filtering system.

My friend and I have a thing where we talk in, um, pussy sounds, Rae laughs. I think that most women know whether they want to sleep with a guy or not within the first five minutes of meeting him, and so we speak in Marge Simpson voices about whether or not a guy could get it. She demonstrates. If its a yes, well say: My pussy was like: [Perky, eager voice] Mm-hm, girl. Or, My pussy was like, [Low, negative tones]: Mm-mm. So, the conversation about Molly feeling like she wasnt attracting the right type of guys was me suggesting her pussy might actually be broken.

What did her mother make of this particular piece of dialogue? She only saw it at the screening! Rae laughs. She pulled me aside afterwards and was, like: That mouth, were going to wash it out but, good job.

Insecure continues on Thursday 10 August, 10.35pm, Sky Atlantic

Read more: http://ift.tt/2utz7rj

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2vrlf5P via Viral News HQ