#also being able to draw again feels liberating

[isatohlee]

An Unkillable Foe

[shewolfofvilnius]

I feel sorry for Orin

repurposed from an old Reddit post of mine

Edit: Wrote an epilogue fic where my Durge, Sofija, seeks redemption for her sister with the Gods

Raised from birth in the Bhaal cult and has never known ANYTHING else. Literally the result of incest between her mom and Sarevok (her father AND grandfather) - and for her entire life is actively manipulated and groomed to worship her "Grandfather" second only to Bhaal (leaving a disgusting implication that Sarevok might eventually try again). Literally every single day of her life spent in a murder cult, never knowing anything else.

Her mother is actively manipulated when Orin is seven to try to kill her daughter, only for Orin to reflexively kill her first, at which point Orin was briefly possessed by Bhaal himself (per some Sarevok dialogue). AT AGE SEVEN. And even from a young age, Orin's true gift is her artistry, a talent that outside the Bhaal cult probably could have been nurtured into something phenominal, but inside the cult is twisted into a sinisterness in the kill that, when she's out of earshot is decried as wasteful.

She eventually rises through the ranks (never have had any choice), having never felt a meaningful moment of compassion or kindness and, desperate to be cared about, sees the power and fear and respect her bloodkin (The Dark Urge) has gained and uses their hubris to take them out.

Ironically, in the timeline where Durge lives, they get a gift Orin couldn't even dream of - a 2nd chance. With their brain scrambled and the tadpole present but being interfered with, the Dark Urge got a chance to be someone new. (Whether they accept or reject that 2nd chance, they at least got a choice this time).

What did Orin get for her troubles? Her (grand)father openly coveted to either take her out, or worse, take her out - when the time was right, her own allies both detested her (Gortash openly revels at the idea of working with the Dark Urge again)

and most brutally, if you manage to confront her with the truth, any of it? About Sarevok, about her mother, etc? She immediately believes you. And for one (1) moment, maybe there's hope for her.

Hope that Bhaal immediately rips away; an Orin confronted with the truth and showing even the slightest hesitation is immediately forcibly transformed into the Slayer by Bhaal himself, with a strong implication that the core of the old Orin is gone forever win, lose, or draw. "No more doubts, no more fears, no more Orin. Become murder.". Seeing what Bhaal's reaction was the moment Orin had one (1) instant of hesitation also confirms that she'd likely have never had the chance to choose differently, either Bhaal would always step in or else she'd eventually meet her end.

Imagine the AU where Orin takes her CLEAR flair and artistic talent to become a truly great artist. Where she gets the same second chance that Durge got - If she'd been able to use her talent for impersonation and desire to great to do something powerful instead of being forced by her family from childhood into the family business of murder.

She literally never had a chance. Even Bane and Myrkul and their respective cults were never so unfathomably cruel, and she never knew anything else.

At least for my own first game, though, my Durge recognized that without her "sister," she'd have never gotten the chance to save the world, never met Shadowheart, never stopped a century worth of Ketheric's torture on Dame Aylin, never set in motion the liberation of the Githyanki...In the right world states, Orin unwittingly saved the world, but it's a world she'll never get to see or know, and probably never could have.

That's tragic as hell.

[charbies]

linktober 31 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I thought for the last day I'd write a little retrospective on what this whole thing was like and what I learned. I'm too tired to draw literally anything else I'm due for a break lol

So this was my second time ever attempting a linktober/october drawing challenge, but my first time managing to complete all the days and prompts. I feel super proud of myself and accomplished for pulling it off.

There were a number of things that were surprising and that were challenging for me that I wasn't expecting this month. If anything, I think this challenge really highlighted my flaws and mental blindspots with how I approach making art.

For one thing, I came away from this not liking everything I made. I think I only like about 9 or 10 of the 30 pieces I put out there. When I don't like my art, I tend to get stuck in this mental stalemate of refusing to finish a piece until I like it, but also refusing to retrace my steps and erase/rework what I have so far for fear of losing progress or not being able to replicate the line/angle/color/etc that I liked.

It was surprisingly hard to accept when I didn't like a piece but had to move on for the sake of time and post it anyway. But once I did it a few times, it got easier. I realized prioritizing my standards over my available energy is not gonna promote progress. If I kept sinking myself into one piece and not moving on until it was optimal, I never would have finished anything-- that was the pitfall that ultimately made me bail out 10 days in last year.

I also realized my sunk cost fallacy/"what if I erase this and can never redraw it good again" stems from some real lack of confidence in my knowledge and techniques with art. I'm self-taught, and I think I tend to believe that everything I make is a dumb happy accident, even though I have mental rules when I draw, use tons of references, and have a process lol. There are a few pieces I started over 2-3 times before I got them right, and that's starting to feel liberating instead of like failing to me now, which I never expected to come out of this experience so that's cool.

Another place I had to learn to let go of control in this was with allowing for style variation. I really wanted each and every piece to be coherent and painterly, like they all came from the same book or something. But then I couldn't decide whether I wanted to do all/no lineart, all/no detailed background, all/no heavy rendering, etc. At the end I settled on just keeping the same canvas dimensions and just prioritizing filling up the space. Glad I ended up doing this, because I really would benefit from continuing to chill out and scale back how much I default to making dramatic, high-render pieces. I gotta break out of my comfort zone and make more sketchy little guys!

Sometimes my attachment to the prompts fluctuated; some prompts I thought I would love and then just wanted to get them over with. Some prompts I thought I would hate and subsequently half-ass, then I ended up redoing them and putting more effort & time into and loved the end result!

It was funny to also see how some pieces that I loved straight up did not get a whole lot of notes or attention. Some pieces I was "meh" about did crazy numbers lol. I'm used to posting maybe 5-6 times a year on here, so I'm usually indifferent to getting notes (by which I mean, I'm super grateful for likes & reblogs and the super sweet & funny messages in y'alls tags, but I'm not butthurt when I don't get notes because whatever happens, happens). Churning out 30 pieces in 30 days made me sometimes get bewildered by what did and didn't get notes, but frankly in the end I think it helps reaffirm that I should continue putting whatever I want out there because it! is! not! graded!!!

So would I do Linktober again? Probably not, sorry! it was a lot of time & effort and took me away from fall festivities more than I would have liked. I kinda only managed to pull this off because I was transitioning between jobs this month and had a week off to just draw. But I also completely see the value in taking on a challenge like this and finishing what I started, I'm super glad I did this, I think my art improved from it. I would definitely do future drawing challenges/prompt things that are quicker or have less prompts!

My advice to prospective future linktoberers: pace yourself and be gentle; this is a great chance to do something exciting and new with your art, but above all it's about you having fun. There are no prizes at the end except for what you've learned and how you feel about it, and that's for the best!!

One thing's for sure, I am zelda'd out lmao so I'll be branching out towards some little projects I have lined up for personal art and other fandoms I'm into right now

So anyway thanks to all of you who read this or who gassed me up this whole month, I appreciate you!!!!!!!! ヾ(＾∇＾)

[irafuwas]

Sebek and Silver - More alike than meets the eye

I know much has been said already on how Silver and Sebek diametrically oppose each other – from their handedness to their hobbies, and from their personalities to their poses in certain cards – but something I feel we also need to focus on is the one unifying point in their story arcs. Namely, their journeys to discover just who they are.

*This post contains light spoilers for cards and story content that have not been released on the EN server yet*

Sebek is infamous for his one-track mind. He dedicates himself to his studies, his extracurricular activities, and his training, all for Malleus’s sake – partly to earn commendation from the men he so respects, and partly to bring honor to his liege’s name. His endeavors are admirable, in that he is diligent, persevering, and earnest, yet rarely does he divulge any of his genuine, private ambitions.

Consider, in fact, that the very reason he sought to enroll at NRC was only to serve as Malleus’s guard, rather than for his own academic aspirations.

Though we’ve yet to learn just why he so fervently worships Malleus, perhaps we can trace this desire for his liege’s recognition back to a broader need to be affirmed of his worth. If you recall his despair at manifesting his magic so late, and how much it bothered him - hurt him, even - when Silver departed for NRC and left him behind, the great extent to which he values magical prowess is clear to see. And if we further consider how he so longs to separate himself from his human heritage – from his magicless heritage, could it be that, even more than the glory of knighthood, he simply yearns to find a part of himself that he – and all those around him – can be proud of, can find worth in?

For what is he without his magic? He, a mere half-blood, born amongst a peoples whose bodies thrum with a power more sacred, more ancient than the air within our lungs and the ground beneath our feet? I feel Sebek is so driven, so severe in his efforts to claim the right to stand by his liege’s side, just so that he one day might finally be able look himself in the mirror and say, “here, here is at least some part of me I don’t have to be ashamed of, that I don’t have to hate.”

And Silver, that sweet boy, how unerring, how remarkable is his selflessness, how his inexhaustible compassion belies the scant 17 years he’s spent awake on this earth! But when one pours out so much of oneself for others as he has done, when all that one does is for the sake of someone else, how often one loses sight of one’s own identity. Indeed, if I were to draw for you a map of the inside of Silver’s heart of hearts, if I were to plot for you his every dream, measure and record every aspect of his being, I scarcely doubt there’d be a single point you couldn’t trace back to his desire to make his father happy.

To that end, consider how we learned in Silver’s latest birthday vignette that Lilia began training him from an incredibly young age – when he had only just become conscious of his surroundings. A child that young cannot make such a monumental decision for himself - the decision must be made for the child. And so, we do not truly know if Silver’s dreams of knighthood are the result of his own personal meditations, or if his father, in his infinite folly, thrust them upon him, burdening the young child with an aspiration that would go on to consume nearly every facet of his life.

With the both of them being so unsure in their own identities, it's why I find it so poignant - and so apropos – that Sebek is the one to rouse Silver from his moments of self-doubt, time and time again. When Silver questioned his capabilities as a leader, when he wished desperately that he could change, that he could be more like his classmates, and when he, in his darkest hour, doubted even the sanctity of his father’s love for him – each and every time it was Sebek who liberated him from his great desolation.

It has to be Sebek - for who better to accompany Silver on his journey towards self discovery than one who must walk down the same path as he? Who better than his best friend, his brother, his reflection – his veritable light in the darkness of his own heart?

[dirtyoldmanhole]

i'm going to be musing about one of gunter's most controversial lines here just because i've been idly thinking about it while drawing.

heads up for dead dove shit.

context: the JP version of Fates:Conquest had a region-locked minigame ("skinship" where you basically pet the character with your stylus lol) where you the player could interact more with a married gunter if you went that route - it also had several JP-only lines which you can read here.

generally they aren't that much different in tone than the EN ones though fun to read (especially since the minigame is lowkey sexual in nature; all the cast's lines were more strongly sexual not just his), but there was one line that uh. raised some eyebrows in the EN fandom when the fan-translators found it, shall we say.

in bold; (i've added some of the others for helpful context; i don't believe all of them are said one after the other, as it's whenever you choose to enter the minigame one is said).

By no means did I think these feelings would develop… Close your eyes for a moment. I apologize… I thought just touching you would be fine… When you touch me like that… Don’t tease me too much… or even someone like me won’t be able to endure it. (TL: He uses the verb “tawamureru” which means to play, joke, or flirt but I decided to liberally change it to tease) You’ve returned. We mustn’t… Oh no… I thought of you as a child but… I love you. Haha… is something the matter? Is it fine for me to touch you too? This side of you… don’t show it to anyone else. My wife… does cute things… I love you. I might have regarded you with special feelings ever since you were young. (A RANK:) Thank you very much for being kind to me to this extent. For as long as you wish it… I promise never to leave your side. (S RANK:) I thought I would always live alone. But you… lit a flame once more in my heart which I had locked away. This time I won’t let you go. I love you more than anyone else.

(... once again touched at how surprisingly romantic he can be)

anyway! oh yes, That Line.

tsk tsk.

given his position of power with essentially raising corrin, you can imagine how some people who already disliked the ship tended to leap on that line as "proof" of him sexually abusing corrin as a child to put it bluntly.

thoughts are still rotating, but roughly in order of:

instinctively (and the most boring position just to get it out of the way) on the first level i don't like how often this line is immediately whipped out to dissuade gunter/corrin shippers specifically but also shippers in general from engaging with taboo sexual concepts. especially when it's just as boringly... crudely blunt as "pedo". (slightly adjacent to gunter fans in general since there's sometimes an uneasy feeling that as long as you don't ship him that way with a 40-year age gap/parental figure/etc there's an exception carved out as "one of the good shippers" as long as you ship him with less of a power differential (eg gunter/shura. note i dig that ship, this is just an example.); though i think this sentiment has thankfully died down as of late versus the early years of fates fandom.)

god that is such a fustratingly common and boring way to engage with media. moving on.

on the second level down, i also instinctively dislike the feeling that it's whipped out to flatten the potential of gunter being romantically/sexually written as either binary concepts of "good" and "bad-touch", with the latter being often pointed out with an accusatory finger. personally i like reading bad-touch gunter for the lulz sometimes. also for the nuance given how sadly complex child abuse/grooming/pedophilia is in real life, and how it impacts the victim in so many ways beyond the obvious. and shocker - i like reading predatory-gunter sometimes even for cranking-the-hog-material! (predatory-gunter is kinda hot, man.) sometimes all of the above at the same time. i think all of these readings is just as applicable and interesting and needful as redemptive-gunter stories. (it's a very similar reason to why i fucking love possessed!gunter noncon what-if setups.)

and the above point doesn't even go into the nuance of can-you-even-have-redemption with the above if you want it. how would that work. how would that work in rev-verse vs conquest (different flavors of anankos possession going on in both. it's so much more complex than your usual grooming story if you frame it that way because his own agency is literally a question mark the entire time, which is endlessly fascinating to me with the horror potential as being a double victim in some ways. is this actually anankos' influence more than anything? how would everyone feel about that? especially anankos being corrin's bio-dad?)

going back to the quote itself there's even several other ways to interpret it that's not a crude (and imo annoying) distraction of moralizing.

like i always found it interesting that for a guy who deliberately self-censors 95% of the time, that he kinda blurts that out in a weak moment (which is already one interpretation, that it's semi accidental). why would he say that to corrin?

seriously, why would he?

i don't think he's trying to scare her off (like he does with some lines when he's a little insecure about his age).

what if he's genuinely fond of and loves corrin with a nuanced blend of fatherly love at the begining but yeah it did turn sexual towards the end (plus fatherly love) and either he doesn't want to exactly interrogate himself when that changed (because i personally think he holds a lot of understandable guilt over these feelings in general), or he isn't thinking about that at the moment and like. how the hell do you relay something like that without caveat-ing yourself to hell.

i think it's one of the few times here he's actually trying to be emotionally honest and vulnerable about how shits' complicated to him too. (and keep in mind he is not in general..... as emotionally aware as the tumblr crowd lol. he's an old man.)

there's a funny line in my head right now of "schrodinger's daddy dom" where society right now is a-okay with a daddy kink from the little's side but metatextually we've created a situation where it's impossible to create a three-dimensional daddy dom that is somehow free of sin and yet has honest to god sexual desires of his own especially in a messy situation like this.

especially in an evolving situation like this when it was very clear by the S-support he wasn't ever anticipating corrin to reciprocate his feelings, and he was dealing with his budding feelings by essentially just keeping it to himself. (canonically, he wanted to do the least-messy thing by not involving himself with corrin. it's only if corrin/you pursue him that he even gets this far.)

the extra funny thing:

all of this is dependent on the translation. culturally, through this whole game of telephone, the line itself may have some other JP specific connotations that we aren't aware of. christ what i wouldn't give to pay a fluent JP translator who didn't mind engaging with dead dove concepts to go through his support chain + these lines and give notes there.

....

and that's probably not even all of my thoughts but it's an essay as-is. :P

[aroaceleovaldez]

Hey! I’d like to know how best to start an askblog, and how to keep one interesting over a long term.

the number one thing I've found with how to start an askblog is to make sure you have something you think you can roll with for awhile (a character or series you're very invested in, if it's an art one make sure it's a design you're willing and able to draw over and over again, etc etc) and then setting up your blog as completely as possible before you post anything.

[This got quite long so further elaboration + more tips below:]

Enable custom theme, plan out how you're gonna tag things a little bit, set your icon and header (if it's an art askblog, absolutely set it to your own art so people get an idea of what your art is like going into the blog), get your blog description in order, all that jazz. If it's an art blog, make sure you have a design settled for your character beforehand and I'd recommend making it a design you could draw easily if you are absolutely exhausted. Having your design be one you can doodle easily means you won't get burnt out from just the idea of drawing the character. Don't feel like you have to get super fancy or complicated with things - your askblog doesn't have to be colored in or have backgrounds or anything. Get as few barriers as possible in between you and theoretically posting. That's gonna be your number one way to personally stay invested outside of your own interest in the character/fandom/subject/etc. Also try to have some ideas for what type of questions you might get and how you will answer them ahead of time, so you're prepared to get right into things when you start getting asks.

And then the most important step is to open your inbox. Before you do ANYTHING ELSE, open your inbox. Turn on anon. Good. Now never close it. A closed inbox, or failing to ever actually open the inbox, is the number one way I see askblogs die. Askblog Muns will close their inbox and then forget to ever reopen them or wonder why they aren't getting asks and abandon the blog entirely. If you are getting overwhelmed, turn off anon. That almost always slows asks down to a manageable crawl. If you are having a significant problem with rude asks or similar, block liberally. You can block anons - tumblr may give you an error about it but in my experience it generally works.

Okay, so you've prepped your askblog and opened your inbox. Now you have to make a post to advertise it. If you are going to make an "ad" style post or intro for your askblog, make a second post as well that is just a general post about the character or meme or similar. Few people are likely to reblog the intro/ad post - this is not a personal slight against you, people just don't generally see a reason to because it doesn't fit what they usually reblog and really don't like being told to do stuff. Significantly more people are more likely to reblog general fanart, text post memes, a comic dub, cosplay photography, or etc, especially shitposts, and then check out your blog from that. Interspersing occasional posts like that is a great way to keep your activity up outside of asks and get new people seeing your askblog every once in awhile.

From that point on, don't be afraid to send yourself asks or ask your friends to send stuff in just to get/keep the ball rolling. Getting your friends to send you some asks right away can be a great way to start posting immediately and show how the format of your blog works, so new people know how interacting with it works. Don't be afraid to post relevant fandom content stuff there, but generally try to keep it to original posts in a similar vein to the askblog (i.e.: if you run an illustrated askblog, post some of your other fanart for that franchise/character there sometimes as well). And try to keep it to your own content - avoid reblogging other people's stuff too much cause it'll clog up your blog and not do anything to help bring new eyes. You can reblog stuff of course, but don't let it overwhelm your blog. Keeping your askblog active with original posts means more people are going to find your blog and stay invested in your blog and send you more asks and this will self-perpetuate.

As far as keeping it interesting over a long-term, that's subjective. But some things you can do include events, particularly for milestones or anniversaries or etc, and many askblogs include a plotline that the characters follow while answering questions, which can encourage asks inquiring about what the characters are up to and give more things to talk about. If you don't keep things changing or progressing, people can run out of things to ask about. Also, don't be afraid to answer the same or similar questions multiple times - especially if it was awhile ago. It's unlikely all your followers have seen all your posts and you can always put a new spin on it. The one billion hug/boop/etc asks do get tiresome though so don't feel bad about skipping the nth one of those. And don't feel like you have to answer every ask immediately! Saving asks can be really useful later down the line, especially if you get a ton of asks all at once but then don't have a lot later. It gives you something to post.

Just generally encouraging engagement with asks/anons is another good option, again such as with events or even things such as Magic!Anons, which is a way anons can impact the characters/story/event in random manners (some common ones are turning characters into animals or monsters, or genderbends, or etc etc). Or even just having your characters react in particular or silly ways to anons or show ways the characters get their buttons pressed by certain asks will encourage people to send in more of those types of asks or explore ways they can personally torment/annoy/etc the characters more, which people love.

The only caveat to this is be careful about letting it stray too far into just straight up RP territory - askblog crossovers are super fun and can be a great way to build up an askblog community, but RP blogs are an entirely different thing that get mixed up with askblogs sometimes and when those waters get muddied it has a poor tendency to just kill askblogs. Because of how RP blogs function entirely differently to askblogs, if your askblog becomes too much of an RP blog it will become only an RP blog, and you will probably completely stop getting askblog asks because the askblog audience doesn't want to rp. Askblogs and RP blogs are similar in theory but very different in execution and attempting to combine them rarely goes well. You will just end up with one or the other and if you were hoping to make one, getting the other will probably leave you confused and disappointed. Also keeping RP blogs active is a completely different beast - that one is just general RP rules. Make your character and go find an open RP to join or community accepting new members and just hop right in. If the RP fizzles out the RP fizzles out, that's not something you can really control. It's the cons of collaborative writing. Askblogs are entirely in your hands, so you can control how active it is. It just comes down to your own engagement and enjoyment with the thing. Just remember: Ultimately, an askblog is for you, the creator of the askblog. Be as self-indulgent as you want. In fact, being self-indulgent is highly encouraged! Because that's how you personally stay invested in your own project. Never feel like you're forced to keep doing it - it's just for fun and for your own amusement. As long as you're having fun and keep going with it, you will attract an audience that will love it as much as you do. You don't need to post every day, or even every week or whatever - take as many breaks as you need.

So tl;dr:

Set up your askblog as much as possible before you post anything.

OPEN YOUR INBOX

Post general fandom content separately alongside your intro/ad post so you are more likely to get traction to your askblog

Don't be afraid to ask your friends to send you asks, or send yourself asks if you need.

Have something going on or switch things up from time to time (or give a means for anons to switch things up) so people have more stuff to ask about or generally feel encouraged to ask things/interact, such as events, plotlines, and/or magic!Anons.

The more you stay active, the more people will see your blog and engage with it

Ultimately the blog is for you, so make it something you will want to stay invested in and feel like you can keep active with and that you enjoy, and people will become invested in it alongside you. If it helps at all - the audience is theoretical and/or ever-changing. You are a guarantee. So cater to you because you know above all else that you are always going to be there.

[mistbow]

Sorey, Mikleo, and Growth

Mostly from the manga. It’s known that Shiramine, the author of the manga, consulted both Hase Yuuta (Zestiria game director) and Yamamoto Naoki (Zestiria game head writer), but from her tweets, we know she put her own spin as to tell another side to the story that the game couldn’t tell, that when put together (with the game as well as the novel), we could glean the message of Zestiria as a whole. (As such, I would also like to bring to your attention what the director of Zestiria attempted to achieve with the game.)

Since every panel is drawn with that thought above, I think there’s more to this too. (Using original Japanese version because the official English localization seems to translate things rather liberally, even though every word, every sentence was carefully thought up according to the author.)

SOREY: This is where I became the Shepherd... feels like it was long time ago. MIKLEO: Really? We were running all over the place that it all happened so fast to me. SOREY: I wonder if we really can pass on the wishes of the previous Shepherd, Gramps, Muse, and the others... MIKLEO: I don’t know, but all Gramps told us back then was to be free to live our lives the way we wanted to. SOREY: Yeah, I became the Shepherd and came all the way this far because of my own will. MIKLEO: Still though, it's thanks to Gramps and the others that we've come this far, and that you've grown up from such a small boy to such a fine man.

SOREY: You’re still growing too. MIKLEO: I’m not talking about our heights!

In Zestiria, it is said that seraphim can control their own growth, it is different from humans in that external things affect their growth. Unlike seraphim, the way of being of humans change with time and experience (人間は天族と違い、時間・経験と共にその在り方を変えていく). Whereas seraphim can be seen as static figures that don’t change—since they’re manifestation of human’s feelings, the very bare “hearts of humans” themselves (天族とは誰かの想い、誰かの祈りから生まれた露わな＜人の心＞そのもの). This is why they can’t lie to themselves, nor can they taint themselves (yes, they can’t produce malevolence).

Speaking of time, it is a concept that I feel is important in Zestiria with the way it keeps being brought up again and again, and if you notice, in Japanese (in the game, in the novel, in the manga... it’s consistent), it is often written in the archaic form 刻 rather than 時, even though both are read the same way as とき. There’s a bit of nuance lost in translation here, as 刻 means “cut” in that “time” used to be represented to be cut up in old Japanese. This kind of explains what they mean by “time flowing differently for seraphim and humans” i.e the passages of time for seraphim and humans are different, measured in different units of time, so to speak.

SOREY: ...I never... want to forget this pain... SOREY: It’s exactly because I felt pain that I was able to continue this journey. SOREY: We're grieving, suffering because of the reality across this world... and that's why we are able to rise up for hope. ROSE: ! SOREY: Many feelings even beyond that I had never known before were shining through! That being case, we— MIKLEO: (Humans accept [receive] something, and with that, they change their way of being.)

SOREY: We’re not afraid to go down this road!! MIKLEO: (With time, you grow taller. With your calling, you don the mantle. If you, with all that, are willing to accept the pain that tries to dye you...) MIKLEO: (Then I, the seraph that resides within you, as the thought that you are who you are, will draw the bow together with you.)

Emphasis mine. And sorry for the awkward translation, but this part is especially lost in the English translation for some reason. Here the manga focuses on the very difference of humans and seraphim—humans grow (affected by time, accepting that it changes them) while seraphim are the feelings of those humans taking form.

It’s definitely deliberate that the panel where Mikleo thinks about how Sorey has grown taller and with the Shepherd’s burden, donned the mantle, is Sorey’s back, seemingly distant, with his Shepherd’s cloak too. Ohsaka (Mikleo’s JP VA) has commented before that when Sorey pulled out the Sacred Blade and became the Shepherd, perhaps Mikleo thought that Sorey became so far out of reach for him, that at that time he probably wondered where the Sorey he knew (the childhood friend he knew) went. There’s the fact that they used to be around the same height too, until Sorey grew much taller than Mikleo was. And it was not spelled out exactly why Sorey was adamant about not making Mikleo a Sub Lord, but Mikleo in the manga understood it as Sorey not wanting the last piece of their peaceful childhood, where even the thought of becoming the Shepherd and Sub Lord didn’t cross their mind, gone.

Also, love the wording for “don the mantle”... it’s both figurative and literal, of course, meaning that with that Shepherd’s cloak he took upon the burden and responsibility himself. What’s more in JP though, 羽織る (“to put on [cloak]”) when translated very literally is “to weave feathers”, and from his feather motif (which the Taizen book has described as symbolizing Sorey being a bird who doesn’t know of malevolence taking flight off to the world) and the Elysalark skit really early in the game, it can become a very nice double meaning. I don’t even need to go to the whole “blank canvas being dyed over” imagery here that’s also in the game and even in the theme song, White Light.

Then we go to Mikleo declaring himself being the thought of Sorey being who Sorey is. Again, seraphim being the manifestation of feelings, thoughts, and prayers of humans themselves.

MIKLEO: I've been wondering about this true name that I had felt in my heart long before I even learned words. Its meaning has always felt mysterious to me... MIKLEO: But now that I've seen that memory, I understand. A sorrowful wish in despair gave birth to me; it is the name of that wish. MIKLEO: It might be a curse, or fate, but we know of [comprehend in its entirety, sense, viscerally feel] the hope that resides within this vessel called life. SOREY: ...Yeah, we can’t let everyone’s, our wishes to be tainted. SOREY: Reach it out, Mikleo! SOREY: Luzrov Rulay [Mikleo the Enforcer]!

So seraphim are the very hearts of humans themselves, but especially those who bear the name “Enforcer” are incarnations born as the purest form of those hearts, carrying out the will of those humans (執行者の名を持つ天族は、その心の最も純粋な形として生まれた化身), hence the name. Shiramine said that in the case of Mikleo, he was born out of Michael’s despair, which paradoxically was also his hope. Then he decided to act as Sorey’s purest will.

By the way, it’s not just manga that has Mikleo snapping Sorey out and becoming the first to offer himself as the first bullet to sever the bond between Heldalf and Maotelus. In the novel, he also offered to go first.

「この旅の終わり、僕が嚆矢となる」 “At this journey’s end, I will become the whistling arrow.”

Whistling arrows, in the Heian era, are fired before the battle not just to alert the enemy, but also friendly kami (the beings seraphim in Zestiria are based on) so that they would lend their support. Befitting of a seraph whose armatization uses a bow.

Also, take note on the Japanese quote of Aqua Limit Ultima (which kinda is horribly translated) (and also, it’s called Aqua Limit: Reunion in JP btw):

スレイ「ヘルダルフ…！蒼華たる霊霧の執行！」 ミクリオ「僕が決める！」 二人「「アクアリムス！！」」

SOREY: Heldalf...! The enforcement of the azure spiritual mist! MIKLEO: I will end it! BOTH: Aqua Limit!!

And that’s the will that they finally carried out. It is because they are human and seraph, that they are two people of different kinds (exactly because they’re different, not the same), each aware of their own way of being, that they can grow this far.

水魚の交わり 側に居て当たり前。互いがどんな存在か考えるまでもない。そんな関係。

Like Water and Fish It’s only natural to be by each other’s side. They don’t even need to think what they are to each other. It’s such a relationship.

異体同心 種族は違うが、同じ想いを抱いて育った。人と天族の可能性を示す。

One Heart in Different Bodies They are of different kinds, but they grew up embracing the same feelings. Showing the possibilities of humans and seraphim.

唯一無二の 互いに誰よりも負けたくない相手。��から成長できる。今までも、これからも。

The One and Only They do not want to lose to each other more than anyone else. That's why they can grow. Until now, and from now on.

応えしもの もう言葉はいらない。友の決意を心で受け止めた親友に捧げる称号。

One who Answers No more words needed. A title granted to the best friend who has taken his friend’s decision to heart.

Truly the embodiment of what a human and a seraph can be. That’s the kind of bond that is, and the way they grow together also illustrates that.

[colorful-bees]

Ahhhh, my doodles for my N in Hisui AU are finally done! (More info about the AU and the individual drawings under the cut)

I've been thinking about this AU for such a long time, I'm glad I finally got something about it put down visually.

So, this is my N as the P:LA protag AU. Don't have a solid title for it yet. The basis of it is that he's yoinked from Unova in the middle of B&W, so he's still King of Team Plasma and still wholly believes in their cause.

Why he was called there is much of the same as the original protag; Arceus just chose him this time instead. And, oh boy. Does he have some thoughts about being forced to complete a Pokedex of all things. And these Pokeballs? Not a fan of them.

He also greatly dislikes the Galaxy Team and their goal of documenting all the Pokemon in Hisui but he begrudgingly works with them, as it's the only way to complete the Pokedex. That's the only way to get back home, back to Team Plasma and liberating the Pokemon of Unova, after all. And when the creator of all calls you to do something, you can't really not listen.

But what he does like? He loves how little humans have touched the past. Besides Jubilife Village and the Diamon and Pearl settlements, it's all wilderness, Pokemon living free. (He also greatly approves of the Clans' decision to not use Pokeballs and really thinks the Galaxy Team could learn from them.) Hisui is definitely giving him some ideas for what he wants his ideal world to look like.

Across the way, N meets a Hisuian Zorua that he quickly befriends. He's very saddened at the state of them and how bitter they've become towards the world. And the fact that they're ghosts doesn't help...

Past or present, no matter what, N's dislike of Pokeballs remains the same. He is however intrigued at the idea of handcrafting them. At least then, it feels a little more personal when you catch a Pokemon. He's a bit confused about the latches though.

Hisui is still dangerous and no amount of being able to talk to Pokemon is going to save you from the harsh world beyond Jubilife's walls. N quickly learns that not all of his friends are too keen about him.

N still wears his goofy little necklace tucked safely under his Galaxy Team uniform (that he hates wearing but he can't deny its comfort). A little piece of home carried with him. (Not pictured: His puzzle cube that he made extra space in his bag specifically for. Too dangerous to let that thing being hanging out of his pocket in the environment he's constantly in.)

Unfortunately, having hair as long as N's is a bit of a liability when you're doing survey work and he reluctantly gets it chopped off when Arezu comes around. He very much misses it and vows that he'll never cut it again, even if it's inconvenient. He feels a lot lighter now though. It's a weird feeling.

(Also. If anyone is interested in this AU, please, please send me an ask about it. I love answering questions, especially about the stuff I create and I really like this AU so don't be shy. I would love to talk :)c

(Masterpost for this AU)

[lolygagger]

gotta ask about Zelun'jin. hes always had a very unique, interesing design (LOVEEE the color scheme btw. also super cool tusks. also i think the way ur draw the fluffy ears is cute lol). whats his story? whats up with his tusk shape?

I am so so so sorry it’s taken me this long to respond to your ask! I had a whole essay typed up, and realized it was just way too much info all at once. So, I will try and summarize his story to the best of my ability. He means a lot to me, so he definitely has the most backstory done out of all of my characters.

Thank you! I’m glad you think he’s neat! Zelun’jin was originally going to just be a chill surfer troll, so I wanted his colors to be reminiscent of something tropical, and more specifically, that sunshine during “golden hour” vibe. I can definitely ramble about his design sometime too. His tusks have actually changed shape through my art over time. I used to have them turned inward to be more true to the trolls in game, but I found myself hooked on having his tusks be more open and slender. He also dyes the tips just because he likes it. Nothing too fancy!

Okay, buckle in!

- Zelun’jin was born to Amareh of the Darkspear in the year 12 ADP, and never knew is father.

- He spent most of his younger years on the Darkspear Isles.

- When Zalazane betrayed Vol’jin and the Darkspear Tribe, Zelun’jin was one of the many trolls that fell to Zalazane’s influence. He was only 12 at this time.

- Amareh grew frustrated with Vol’jin, feeling like he wasn’t trying hard enough to take back the Echo Isles, and made a bargain with Bwonsamdi to ensure Zelun’jin’s safety. Unfortunately, the price was her life in place of his.

- Amareh had to travel to the Echo Isles alone, and bring Bwonsamdi’s “omen of death” to Zalazane as part of their bargain.

- Due to Zalazane’s cruelty and insanity, he forced Zelun’jin, against his will, to take his mother’s life.

- Immediately following Amareh’s death, Zalazane punished Zelun’jin, which is why he has a scar that wraps around his right leg. (This also left a small piece of Zalazane’s corrupted magic within Zel, which he has been able to tap into from time to time.)

- Not too long after these events, the Darkspear Revolution took place, and Zelun’jin ran away after being liberated.

- He was finally tracked down by his long time friend, the druidess Silluz. She helped convince him to return to the Darkspear, and the Horde.

- Zelun’jin continues to struggle with PTSD from the horrors of Zalazane’s control.

- In the time leading up to the discovery of Pandaria, Zel grew very close to Vol’jin, feeling like he was the father he never got to have.

- It was also Vol’jin who saw Zel’s potential, and named him one of the ambassadors of the Darkspear.

- Zelun’jin took Vol’jin’s death very hard (who didn’t?), and grew distrustful of Sylvannas.

Battle for Azeroth was a big one for Zel’s story ->

- Zelun’jin found life long friends in Kikee and Inatish.

- He was able to finally have closure for his mother’s death.

- His bitter confrontation with Bwonsamdi, and the final piece of Amareh’s bargain.

- Zelun’jin becomes a true shadow hunter.

I haven’t been quite sure where I want his story to go from here, maybe just finding happiness? Taking a nice nap? Or maybe, trying to connect further with the other tribes all over Azeroth? Two naps??

I’ve also been interested in exploring Vol’jin’s feelings towards Zelun’jin. Maybe he saw himself in Zel, understanding the weight of losing a parent, and having so much responsibility suddenly thrust upon you 🤔 I’m not sure.

Anyways! I hope this helps answer any questions you may have had about his background, but if it didn’t or you’d like me to go into more detail, send me another ask! I love talking about him <3 Or any of my other characters too!

Thanks again!

(Bonus picture of Amareh!)

[trellia]

| finished this 2 days ago, but I was both very busy and too tired to upload, but here we are at last!

I've been writing again — and it's been very liberating. (not on tumblr tho!)

I've been through a lot the past months, but being able to find joy in writing and drawing again has helped so, so much. I've been getting help in various ways and I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It feels nice tbh. I feel more hopeful.

As for this piece, though I won't go into much detail, her hair was long and she was quite prideful of it, and someone took a box cutter to it as punishment. Later, with a sharp piece of glass, she finishes the job so it's at least somewhat okay to look at, but definitely not perfect. This would be the end result.

I've also been meaning to kickstart a youtube channel: a sort of diary, though I'm unsure if I'll show my face or will use an avatar, though nothing like a tuber or

I hope you like!

Onward to the next painting then!!!

[transmutationisms]

(Part 2 if you'd rather rain check it) Also do you think Shiv's gender expression and sexuality would present differently in the CGKU, with her already being in the company and making moves and juxtaposed with her sister who's pegged more as The Girl of the bunch? Like, obviously she'd still pass for a fem straight woman but straddling that line of what performances of female homoeroticism and imitated male heterosexuality are acceptable without drawing ridicule. (Truly she is the real transmasc Kendall in practice to me lol)

But also, do you think there could be something with AFAB Kendall having *gender stuff* or would she probably essentially just be a woman? In like how she would never really be able to get anyone to see her as anything else and wouldn't have that much incentive to be Not-Woman anyway. Well, other than the whole "misogyny/sexual violence factory" of it all maybe, but even then I feel like her feelings on victimhood and "debasing" herself would be in some complicated zone between the extremes of Shiv and Roman.

ok i lost the first part of this somehow lol. but, my take on canon shiv is that in certain ways she does live up to logan's expectations of masculinity in a way roman and kendall don't, but i don't think she would ever see this as being incongruent with her being a woman. like, i don't think she thinks about her gender with that type of attention; i don't even think she's consciously trying to be masc, she's just like, living her life and only 'identifies' with womanhood in the sense that it's assigned to her. also unfortunately, extrapolating from how she talks about institutions and authority and 'political science', i think she's like, a generic liberal transphobe who thinks biology is immutable and inescapable wdkwjfkwj #bringbackpilottransphobeshiv

in the cis girl kendall scenario, there would maybe? be more room for shiv to vie for the role of the fav son, just b/c of how much logan doesn't like roman. but i also don't think he would like girl kendall (cries too much) so he might still want shiv to be His Daughter who's like, cool enough to Get Him but also woman enough that logan can be friends with her and not have it be homosocial. so i'm not sure it would really shake out differently for shiv, gender-wise, plus again i don't know that she would really be inclined to push for any kind of gender non-conformity beyond just the fact that temperamentally, she's kind of masc in logan's worldview.

re: kendall, honestly i do just think she would be a girl lmao. like, i think a version of kendall who wasn't raised being told that she was entitled to inherit would just be tweeting like, the most generic jessica valenti quotes trying to get chelsea clinton to notice her or some shit. like, i just don't think masculinity would appeal to her really.

[cookinguptales]

wwdits tarot: the moon

We’re drawing close to the end now… Only three more Major Arcana after this one, The Sun, Judgement, and The World.

This weekend, I’m planning on opening my inbox up to asks for tarot readings again to celebrate finishing this project, so keep an eye out! I’ll probably be making a poll for which deck y’all would like me to use shortly.

Today’s card is XVIII. The Moon, and it’s probably the only card that I wanted to use two different characters for so badly that I wracked my brain trying to think of the best way to do it.

I think I’ve settled on a good solution. We’ll see what you guys think.

The Moon is about fear, insecurity, and illusion. It’s a card that cautions you against giving into self-doubt, and advises you to try and see your situation with unclouded eyes.

The Moon is one of those cards that feels compassionate but at the same time lightly chastising to me. There is a sense here that you might be feeling afraid because of things in your past. There has been past trauma or your self-esteem has been systematically broken down. You have reason to feel afraid, The Moon acknowledges, but that doesn’t change the fact that your fear is illusory.

There’s also a sense to this card that things are not always as they seem. Either you are tricking yourself due to your anxieties, or someone else is tricking you and you need to see through their lies. Maybe there’s just a miscommunication and a misconception, or maybe there is active deceit afoot.

The Moon tells you to have faith in yourself and step out into the moonlight regardless of your fears. It tells you to see through the illusions holding you back and stop being so darn anxious. While your fears are not entirely unfounded, you are the only person who has the strength to push past them.

With all that said, there are two characters that fit this card well for me but in very, very different ways. Put simply, I had one character in mind who represented the fear — and one who represented the fearful.

And then I remembered: The Moon has two dogs on it, a domesticated one and a wolf.

So I think… yes, this dog certainly has room for my puppy and the wolf.

First, let’s talk about the dog. The first character I want on this card is Jenna. Jenna is a small quivering dog of a vampire, let’s be real. She does overcome this, to some degree, but I think her overall vibe really, really suits this card.

Jenna isn’t a weak person and she never has been. She’s bright, she’s curious, she’s capable, and she likes to try new things. But… her self-esteem is terrible and she lets people walk all over her. She’s so, so timid. The world scares her mainly because she believes that she’s too weak to live in it, whether that’s true or not.

Jenna does seem to have been systematically browbeaten by her peers (something that sets Nadja off and makes her want to liberate her) so you can kind of see where her timidity comes from. People have told her she’s not good enough, and people have treated her like she’s not good enough, so you can see where the fear that she’s not good enough has come from.

She allows people to treat her the way she believes she deserves to be treated, and she thinks she deserves to be treated that way because of how they treat her. It’s a vicious cycle.

But, like The Moon tells us, it’s also an illusory one. Jenna is not weak, and she grows into herself and her powers very admirably. We’re really only seeing the first few baby steps of her journey (mainly because Beanie Feldstein started getting other work) but it’s really lovely to see her grow past her fears and shatter the illusions that’s been laboring under for years.

That’s symbolized even more heavily by her unique power, which is invisibility. She is able to take advantage of the exact illusion that’s been used against her for all these years, and now she’s able to use it against others.

When it comes to the base idea of a person cowed by illusions and needing to take control of their own destiny, Jenna is a very, very straightforward representation of The Moon.

So when it comes to the dog — or rather, maybe still just a puppy — I want to have Jenna.

But… on the other hand, there is also the wolf... and I mean that both literally and metaphorically. The other character I want to have on this card is Gail.

As far as wolves and illusion go, it’s not very hard to see where those things come in when we’re talking about a literal werewolf. She was hiding that she literally turns into a wolf here. Like… it’s not a stretch.

But I want to go a lot deeper than that and talk about how Gail functions in the narrative and how she has nurtured both fear and illusion in Nandor.

Now — let’s get one thing straight. Nandor is an idiot who creates his own problems. Gail has never promised him forever, and a lot of his angst involving her really revolves around the Gail that he has invented in his mind, not the one who has always been pretty honest about her intentions.

But at the same time, she does not treat this guy well. She knows he’s head over heels for her but still keeps coming back to string him along whenever she gets bored. She doesn’t respect him and doesn’t seem to like him that much and certainly doesn’t want to be loyal to him. And while she never exactly promised him loyalty, it still seems rough to be fucking another guy without even telling him. If you don’t want a monogamous relationship, that’s fine — but it seems like she didn’t even tell Nandor or Anton that she wasn’t being faithful to either of them. They deserve that information.

And she drives Nandor mad. He’s always had insecurities, but Gail always seems to ratchet that up to 100. Every time she leaves him, or insults him, or cheats on him, he starts to fall into a deep depression about whether he can ever be loved. She encourages his insecurities and feeds him lies to keep his illusions about her intact.

I don’t mean the werewolf thing, to be clear. It seems like she was actually fairly honest with him about that. But he definitely didn’t know she was also sleeping with a werewolf, whom she let turn her, and that illusion, that of affection and loyalty, was one that deeply hurt him. More importantly, she really does seem to encourage this illusion that there could be a real, lasting relationship between them.

A normal person who just wants something casual with someone will break up with them or at least be super, super clear with them once they start getting in too deep. The smart, kind thing to do would have been to make a clean break with Nandor the first time she dumped him. But this apparently happens all the damn time, her showing up, her getting his hopes up, and then her leaving again. While Nandor should have gotten the memo by now (no pun intended), she is far from blameless in this toxic relationship.

It kind of feels like she shows up every time she needs an ego boost, or maybe a temporary playmate, and she’s willing to manipulate Nandor in order to get that. Sometimes it seems like she enjoys feeding into his anxieties and having men who will tie themselves in knots over her while she dangles the illusion of affection over their heads. It's just unkind.

Gail is certainly feeding both his illusions and his insecurities, but like The Moon always tells us — Nandor is still the only one that can actually fix his own problem here. He needs to rise above his fears and see through the illusions she’s fed him so he can move on with someone who actually loves him.

(Speaking of Memos…)

So I think that Gail and Jenna really show both sides of this card, the fear and the creator of it, someone blinded by illusions and someone who makes a meal of them. And both of them show the importance of facing your fears and tearing down illusion.

I think having both the dog and the wolf on here in their most metaphorical senses is probably the way that I want to go forward with this one. I want both the fear and the fear itself, if you get me.

To show that, let’s go into the imagery.

Like I said, The Moon is a card that has both a dog and a wolf baying at the moon together, who looks down at them both. The dog and wolf represent the tamed and untamed parts of our mind, and the crawfish emerging from the water and starting on its path represents emerging from illusion and beginning your journey away from it. (It also sometimes represents the emerging enemy that you need to watch out for!)

I would have both Jenna and Gail on this card, a puppy and a wolf at their sides respectively, each with one hand resting on the canine assigned to them. The dogs are both looking up at the moon, but Gail and Jenna are both looking down their path, clear-eyed and knowing what they truly want.

(The crawfish can… stay, I guess. lmao)

wwdits tarot masterpost

[lycanthian]

hiii i just saw your ryuseitai phone theme and it’s so cool!! can you make a tutorial of how you did it?

hi !!!! id love to! im so glad you liked my ryuseitai theme! :3

first step: this widget app (widgetopia), or any other of choice. i used this to make the little square widgets as well as the countdown timer labeled LIBERATION (which is actually my graduation date)

in addition, i would recommend having some kind of drawing app / image editing program on hand in case you want some custom graphics like my lock screen / wallpaper! ibisPaint X is my app of choice, as its free and has a pretty simple interface, but any programs will reasonably work!

keep in mind both of these programs have ads and paid versions but you dont need to pay for anything for this!

also i dont have progress pictures so. bear with me lol.

for the small square widgets, youre going to want to go to the LIBRARY panel and hit +SMALL.

this will open the NEW WIDGET menu! from here, youre going to want to hit NEW WIDGET (should show up as a tealy green button), which brings up this menu

from here, you can set various things, such as making the background of the widget transparent, making it a specific color, or setting it to send you to a website via an embedded link if you please!

for this tutorial we'll just make a basic regular widget with a picture on it :3

on this screen, hit the PLUS icon, and choose the option that says IMAGE. choose the image you want, and voila! its there!

although...

the borders are an issue. youre going to want to resize your image! this is a part of the process regardless of the image's original size.

click on the image to open the image property menu! here you'll find a ton of options for moving the image around, and edit it! here you can add some extra flair such as a slight rotation or tint, or you can set it to have an action when you tap on it! i wont get into that in this, but its neat to take a look at on your own!

make sure the chain icon between width and height is LINKED, and then increase the size! this is just a matter of eyeballing it based on your image, and will result in corners being cut off, so avoid having important bits of the image in the very corner! when youre done, you should be able to see rounded corners INSIDE the image's bounding box! this means that your image is as large or larger than than the widget, meaning that no weird borders will show!

from here, you can hit the back button, and then the purple ADD WIDGET button to put it on your homescreen!

note: if youre editing an already made widget of the same size, you do not need to press ADD WIDGET, as it will result in having two of the same widget on your screen!

from here, itll look something like this!

if you ever want to change the widget image, you can just click on it (if you have multiple, click on the specific one you want to replace), and go through this process again!

as for the lock and home screen backgrounds, thats more tedious. i recommend a 9:16 aspect ratio for phone screens, but other than that theres not many tips i can give you in the design sector of things, sorry 😔

one tip i can give is that if you dont want your home screen image to shift when youre swiping between screens, go into google photos, and zoom in on the image! make sure its cropped the way you want it to by the borders of your own device, get the UI out of the way (done easily by tapping once on the image), and take a screenshot, that way there wont be any buffer room on the sides for it to shift!

---

anyways, i hope this helps! i absolutely advocate for playing with some of the more advanced options on your own, as its super fun to learn new modes of phone customization! if anyone makes any themes with help from this tutorial, feel free to tag me in the comments! id love to see your work! :3

[gizemmoon]

My pimple patch and me. I just feel like social media is draining me so much rn and also every human being out there. Even going grocery shopping or to the drug store is so exhausting bc I have to deal with other ppl. I have a hard time to focus on something atm. The only thing that helps is mediating. I tried to be a little creative today with aquarell colors and I really had the urge to draw like a kid instead of putting effort into the drawing and it felt liberating. Getting back on track could be what ever you do for yourself or with yourself alone without focusing on the outcome but the process. I try to avoid night life, gossip ( not me gossiping tho but also listening other ppl gossip is so draining), alcoholism, trash or senseless shows, music that makes me feel sad or gives me heartbreaks (even tho there is no reason bc I’m literally attached to nobody since I cant even remember) and I also have to focus on pretending to be excited jumping out of bed every morning like I don’t feel nothing most of the time — until you actually are excited to jump out of bed bc you finally feel something again ( I mean I am grateful for everything I have but 99% of the time I just say it without being able to really feel it and this makes me feel guilty), you are really grateful deep down from the bottom of your heart and you are ready to face all the adventures out there waiting for you to be mastered, your heart is full.

[scottxlogan]

I think that moving from live journal to tumblr was very damaging for fandom as a community. Tumblr is a very easy place to share images, meta, etc. but it’s not a good place to have discussions or try to form connections. Forum sites like Reddit can be better for certain fandoms, but you have to curate your experience. I’m sorry you’re seeing a lot of negativity. The best thing I can advise is to not be afraid to block people liberally. If someone is constantly posting negative discourse or going after people for different interpretations I don’t see it because I block them. As for leaving feedback on fics, there’s always going to be a percentage of any fandom that’s not going to for whatever reason. I try to be good about it if I like the story, but again it’s not like livejournal where the author is someone I know from discussion posts or participation in another fandom, etc. Their fics on ao3 are separate from their other fandom presence and that can be both good and bad. I really do miss fandom communities, tags on tumblr are just not the same thing.

I'll answer this under the cut for those who might not want to have to scroll through my response.

Thanks for the insight anon. I think you make some very valid points. I joined fandom after the end of live journal but was fortunate enough to find it along the way and meet some of the fandom community over there. It felt like there was a sense of connect and community over there and I regret that most of the height of that was before my time. Tumblr has been good in some ways and I see that Discord is attempting to bring back the notion of community being able to have real time conversations, but still it feels a lot of discord communities are a bit cliquish especially with new people coming on into an established community where as when LJ was still dying and barely hanging on and I was the too late outsider I met some really awesome people from fandom that to this day are my friends even though we've all kind of veered in different directions. Thanks for the blocking advice. I do block those who reach out to me on Tumblr here in being nasty. If something doesn't make me comfortable I will take the time to ensure I don't have to deal with that. With VPNs it proves to be difficult, but most of the trolling comes over on AO3 where I've also taken to moderating comments on specific fics that draw in trolling. It's just sad to see that people are so set on spreading negativity or not engaging at all. I know that it's always a small percent of the fandom that do engage and I'm appreciative of those who do. It's just sometimes when you see something you've worked on gets a few hundred views and there's not a like and/or comment on it you question things like did the readers just decide to nope out on it because they didn't like it? Was it a waste of time all around or is it something that people aren't really interested in delving deeper into. Being an artist whether traditional, digital or writing always breeds a sense of uncertainty and with that I guess we have that little insecure voice at times (at least I do) that asks those types of questions. I can understand your feeling of disconnect between here and AO3 and various places and not really knowing the author like you would've in the LJ community. I try to keep the same name everywhere if I can to keep a connect between my stuff, but I know most people don't and it's hard to get caught up in things where you know someone based on their posts, but you don't really know them. I've had people tell me we've been mutuals on Tumblr for a while and I don't think we reach out often or at all in some cases like people would've on LJ. The world is changing for sure and it's kind of sad. I have no doubts that you're great in engaging those you know since you took the time to reach out to me here, which I truly do thank you for. It's nice to hear other's opinions on the subject every now and then. Thank you for being so kind and insightful and I hope that the fandom experience is treating you right where you are! Thanks again!

[vitis-verse]

A Brief Visit to Coerthas + Castrum Centri

Lauriam began to fully bundle up at the northern border of the Black Shroud. Warm coat, hood, gloves – enough to keep too much heat from escaping his body. He hesitated only briefly before wrapping his scarf around the lower part of his face and drawing his hood close. It was… not too warm, but the hindrance on his field of vision and breathing was a nuisance. He caught a questioning look from Y'shtola – but he could not guess whether she understood or not.

Lauriam had considered being more lax this time. This time, he was known to the people of central Coerthas as a slayer of heretics, liberator of fortresses, and a legitimate Scion – completely different than the suspicious stranger he'd been known as before.

But the trials of Witchdrop and fervent accusations rang still in his head, and he dare not lower his hood at the Observatorium.

Mostly he was just excited to leave Coerthas again as soon as possible – and was happy to take the strangely thick air of Mor Dhona instead of the dangerous chill. Lauriam had to wonder whether any people like him lived in climates like those.

Thavnair was supposed to be sunny and hot, like Thanalan – and Lauriam had never had difficulty staying warm with the sun on his scales like that. He couldn't imagine being an Au Ra in the snowy mountains for their entire life – even just a few days left him overly fatigued from the energy trying to keep warm enough. There were times when his natural anatomy felt like a bit of a curse – but he'd prefer to blame Coerthas for being too cold instead. 

Still, even a short travel south to Revenant's Toll was a stark relief. Even the morbols couldn't quite dampen the returned spring in Lauriam’s step. 

The mood while planning the mission, though, remained fully serious. Lauriam’s attachment to the missing Scions varied, but he fervently wished to prevent any further harm regardless of that. He doubted Brain disagreed, but the man seemed inclined to stay at his side whether that was the case or not. There was only one thing that grated at him a bit. 

“Brain – I'm glad to be able to do this, but do you also feel like there's others that deserve it more? You heard that horrifying story just now… the Empire has never wronged me like that, surely…”.

Brain shook his head. “And despite that, he was asking us to do this in his stead. The best person to get revenge for the victims is one that will succeed. No need for others to risk dying for that feeling.”

Lauriam smiled, trying to keep the nerves from his voice. “Oh, you're that confident in us?”

“Of course.” He paused briefly. “Only, you've realized it too, right? Prisoners… one elezen, two lalafell, and one hyuran woman. What do you think became of Thancred?”

That question was answered ere long – albeit in a way that created more questions. It seemed the wrong time to ask for clarification, and it was a mercy for them to have a safe escape, but they would've preferred for the whole possession matter to be explained more promptly.