#also because the left side was historically thought of as more “evil” and all that

[ishouldsleepbut]

early ta designs as promised :)

[kaylopolis]

Alastor's Shadow (18+) - Chapter Thirteen

Alastor x F!Reader, Alias: Thestral

Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 

Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut

Masterlist Link: Masterlist

(Let me know if you want to be added to the Tag List!)

____________________________________________

Author note: Dear Hoteliers,

Lots of historical stuff happening, but don't worry, I have little endnotes explaining each with links to more information at the end of the chapter!

Spoiler Warning: Be careful if you flip between the end to read the notes as you read the chapter. There is a major spoiler at the end of the chapter you might accidentally read!

<3 Stay smutty

Chapter Thirteen - The Truth

Content Warning: Spoilers after the end of the chapter; mentions of physical and psychological abuse, panic attack (let me know if I missed any!) MINORS DNI!!!!!

(107 years ago, Heaven) 

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! 

“Enter,” the Seraphim’s voice called from behind the wood. 

Your head held high, your shoulders squared, you entered your Father’s office. The sword strapped to your side knocked against your hip as you walked. Although you wore your casual blue robes and not your metal armor, the sword never left your side. You tucked your golden wings in, your blonde hair cut short to frame your face, the wisps of your bangs barely brushing your collarbones. 

Stopping before Father’s desk, you nodded to the others in the room in greeting: Adam, the Seraphim, and a few of Father’s personal guards who filed out of the room after you entered. 

“Father,” you stated, waiting for him to begin. 

From a worldwide flood to raining frogs in Egypt, a meeting in this office always meant serious business. After all, out of all your siblings, you were the most trustworthy. “Father’s Golden Girl,” they all called you - and not just because of your looks. You were his warrior, his right-hand man, his perpetrator of action. You carried out God’s will. 

“You are aware of the current events of Earth,” a statement, not a question. 

It was January 1917. The mortals were in the middle of a war to end all wars. Who didn’t know? 

“Just yesterday, our Ishim delegates intercepted a telegram from Arthur Zimmerman to the Mexican Government proposing an alliance between Germany and Mexico to invade the United States.*” Sera slid a piece of paper across the desk. You glanced at it but didn’t give it much thought.

The Ishim were low-level Angels, more human than divinity, really. They carried out more menial endeavors. Father dispatched a hundred to Earth a year before the war broke out. Why? You weren’t sure, but you were about to find out. 

“This war is the mortal’s problem, is it not?” You asked. 

Adam caught your eye from the corner of the room he stood in, his usual cockiness replaced with… you sniffed. Guilt? 

“Not anymore.” 

That caught your attention.

“We believe this telegram was sent by Eve.” 

You took a step back, clenching your jaw shut to prevent it from falling open. Instinctively, your hand found the hilt of your sword. “She escaped?” You looked at Adam, but he didn’t look back, his gaze downcast as a wave of emotions weighed down his shoulders. 

“Some years ago, yes,” Sera answered.

But why didn’t they… Oh, they couldn’t have sent you right away. No one knew she had escaped, and they weren’t about to let it get out that the evil Evelyn of Eden had bested Heaven’s topmost security prison. Technically, it was the only one Heaven had, and it only had one prisoner, but still. Especially after the whole Lucifer and Lilith incident. Rumor had it they were in love. 

You eye the telegram on the desk. “What do you need from me?” 

Wouldn’t be the first time you hunted down a human. Cain went into hiding after he murdered Abel. You found him not long after - even with the magic he used to conceal himself from you. 

“Find Evelyn and bring her back.” 

You nodded, taking the telegram. It smelled of roses, how fitting for the Second Lady of Eden. 

“Mikaela,” Father called after you. You paused. “Do not disappoint me.” 

You nodded before shutting the door behind you. 

Time to go to work. 

____________________________________________

(1917, Russia)

This tux was killing you. It was itchy, it was hot, and more importantly, it was suffocating. You didn't have much time to find a suit that fit, so you grabbed whatever the tailor had. Unfortunately for you, the collar was way too tight, and it constantly rubbed against the injury on your neck.

The music echoed off the ridiculously decorated walls of the Palace. Gosh, you did not enjoy the pianoforte. It was like the instrument was screaming every time one of the strings was plucked.

Just find her and get out. You've been chasing her nearly a year and this was as close as you had gotten to capturing her. Evelyn was slippery...

You pushed through the crowd, making your way around the dancefloor.

"Шампанское, сэр. Champagne, sir?" A servant thrusted a tray in front of your face. You turned up your nose and pushed onwards.

Ugh, alcohol, you've never touched the stuff.

Sniffing, you could smell the roses. The room was filled with the scent of them, the aroma so pungent you could reach out and touch it. So, she was here, but where exactly?

Making your way to the front of the room, you stopped when you finally spotted her. "What is she doing?" You asked yourself.

Evelyn, her brown hair done up in a mass of stacked curls atop her head, was whispering in the ear of the Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich. The feather sticking out of her hair wiggled as she laughed.

What is the Second Woman doing playing fairytale at a royal Russian Ball? She even had the dress to go along with it all.

Whatever, all you had to do was grab her and get out.

You pulled your sword from the Void and took a step forward - wait, no. You couldn't work like this. Ripping off the bowtie, you undid the top two buttons, freeing your neck. You rubbed at the black and blue bruises, the action soothing but also painful.

Okay, let's do this.

"У него есть меч! Он собирается попытаться убить царя! He's got a sword! He's going to try and kill the Tsar!" A woman screamed.

Oh, crap. Last time you were down here, everyone carried a sword. Now, nearly two thousand years later, they don't seem to like it so much... Oops.

The room plunged into chaos.

Briefly, you made eye contact with Evelyn. Her brown eyes flashed with confusion before they changed to recognition and then acknowledgment - she recognized you and knew why you were there. Evelyn smiled, mouthing the words, "Hello, Mikaela," before she disappeared into the crowd.

You tried to follow, but you were tackled by a guard. The sword went flying out of your hand as you hit the ground, a bear of a man sitting on top of you.

Great... You were hoping this was going to be an easy in-and-out type of mission...

Pushing the man easily off of you and collecting your sword. Shoving it back into the Void, you huffed, blowing the hair out of your face. You had cut it so short that the seamstress laughed when you walked into the boutique shopping for a dress. She thought you were a man. You’d be mad but, it wasn’t the first time humanity has made that mistake.

Jesus' Disciples named you "Michael" instead of "Mikaela." Ever since then, humanity thought you were a man. It was kind of insulting when you read the first draft and a little sexist...

Alright, let's get out of here and see if we can track her down.

A wall of guards stepped into your path before you could make much progress.

You groaned. It was going to be a long night...

____________________________________________

(1923, Chicago)

“Another?” The bartender asked. You nodded and watched as she poured you a glass of soda water and lemon. Taking a long sip, letting the bubbles dance across your tongue, you went back to twirling your glass. 

“You sure you don’t want anything else to drink? Any alcohol?” She asked.

You shook your head. “Not one for the taste, I’m afraid.”

She finally let you be, busying herself with dirty glasses.

You were growing restless on the barstool, the smoke from the cigarettes giving you a headache. Drinking in public for women was scandalous in this day and age - even though you technically weren’t drinking, you were a woman alone at a bar - and you had caught your fair share of male attention. You denied and denied and denied until the men finally got the message.

But this wasn’t just any old bar, and you were hoping that, eventually, word of your presence here would attract a different kind of attention. 

The aroma of roses hit you before her voice did. 

“This seat taken?”

Right on schedule. 

“Not at all, Evelyn,” you motioned to the stool. “Please.”

The brunette settled in next to you, her iconic long hair chopped and curled around her face. Other than that, she looked exactly the same as you left her, save for the wardrobe change - a string of pearls and a grey silk dress that left her ankles exposed. She was always a fashion rebel, pushing the iconic clothing of the decades to the point of scandal. Speaking of, you tried hard not to look at her cleavage - it would take another few decades before that became appropriate in public. 

“Please, call me Eve. To what do I owe the honor?” She sang as the bar girl poured her a gin and tonic. 

“Come back,” you ordered. 

She huffed, “Oh, come on. This is the first proper conversation you and I have ever had, don’t bore me with the self-righteous bullshit propaganda your father feeds you.”

You've been chasing her for six years now. Every time you met, it was all action before she slipped away. How she managed to disappear every time, you didn't know.

She stirred the ice around in her glass before gulping down the entire drink. “You and I both know I am not going back willingly.”

You had to give her the option. 

“You’re going back either way.”

“I want you to meet someone,” she smiled, changing the subject. “Al!” Eve waived to a rather portly man at the back of the establishment. The mortal was dressed to the nines in a blue pinstriped suit and accompanying fedora. 

“Hey, dollface,” the gentleman kissed Eve on the cheek before taking his hat off and tipping it in greeting. “Pleased'ta meet’ya miss, Al Capone at your service."

Ugh. 

You stood, grabbing Eve’s upper arm as you attempted to lug her towards the main entrance. The motion sent a sharp pain through your bruised shoulder. “Let’s go,” you winced.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Eve giggled. The sclera of her eyes flashed black before she turned back to the bar and screamed. “Al! She’s with the fuzz!” 

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! The echoes of guns loading rang out across the bar. 

Fucking Mafia. 

You didn’t drop Eve’s arm. 

“We can do this the easy way, toots, or the hard way,” Al said, holding a pistol to your face. Despite being no taller than you, he did his best to look threatening. 

“Between you and me,” Eve leaned in and whispered. “I’m pretty sure the fat one’s got syphilis.” She motioned to Capone. 

Why, Eve? Why was that important right now? 

She giggled before pulling out an extremely small pistol from her cleavage. The Angel pointed it at your head. You held your hands up as if feigning surrender. “That won’t kill me, Eve.”

“I know,” she laughed, smiling wildly. 

Was this fun for her?

“But it'll kill them,” she motioned to a random man before turning and shooting him straight in the face. 

The bar plunged into chaos as you ducked for cover. Rolling your eyes, you mumbled beneath your breath, “The hard way it is.” 

____________________________________________

(1937 Lae, New Guinea)

You rolled open the hangar doors. It was late, well past midnight. An oil lantern hung from a mobile post, illuminating the opened engine of a two-seater plane. 

Ensuring your sword was strapped to your side, you trudged through the hangar doors, cautiously approaching the single soul inside. As per usual, the room smelled of roses.

You were but one step in the door when Eve called out, “Mikaela!” Her head popped out from behind the engine. “Good to see you! Been a while, hasn’t it? Chicago, good times.” She dove back inside the engine, half her body sticking out of the contraption. A blue tarp had been laid at her feet, to capture oil as she worked, you assumed.

“You shot up a bar, nearly set it on fire, and almost burned the city to the ground - again… I wouldn’t exactly call that fun.” Keeping your distance, you circled around to the front of the plane. You had better chances of catching the plague than predicting her next move. Eve was wildly unpredictable. 

“Oh, my friend,” her sclera flashed black as she smiled over her shoulder. “Chaos is always fun.”

“Why are you doing this, Eve?” And more importantly, what was she doing?

“Can’t a girl love power and chaos with absolutely no motive?” She played dumb, her voice echoing from within the metal compartment. 

You crossed your arms, your silence communicating that she had asked a dumb question. 

“I’m sick and tired of Heaven, of them always telling me who I am and what to do.” She shrugged, ripping out a piece of the engine. “I’m taking it back.”

“Stop messing around with the airplane, Eve.” You felt like you were scolding a child. 

She paused, a metal component in her hand, oil coating her fingers, as she backed out of the engine. Eve waived the metal part around as she spoke. “Aren’t you sick of being their puppet? Of… Of being a part of their machine? Of being told to jump and asking how high?” Grabbing a brown saddle bag, she stuffed the components inside, the tarp crunching beneath her feet.

Oh good, she was sabotaging the plane. Great. You didn’t know why she did half the things she did, but sabotaging Amelia Earhart’s plane? Just... Why? What did that accomplish? 

“I’m an Archangel - a soldier - and soldiers follow orders,” you responded, watching Eve clean the oil off her hands. 

“And if they don’t?” She raised an eyebrow, motioning to your wrist. 

As if on instinct, you tugged on your sleeves to hide the bruises. 

“Adam was a dick,” she continued, “but he never touched me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you felt the blood drain from your face.

She sighed as she got to her feet. You watched the conflict play out on her face. Did she push the topic? Did she change it completely? 

"Do you know how they caught me the first time?” she smiled.

“Adam.” You answered, your eyes following her every move. She was planning to bolt. You could feel it. She wouldn't get away this time.

“They used him as bait,” she grabbed her satchel and threw the loop over her head. “And trapped me in a Pentagram.” Eve kicked the edge of the blue tarp beneath your feet to reveal the edge of a chalk line.

She was smart; she kept you distracted and annoyed just enough to keep your eyes off the floor to the lightly drawn star and circle hidden beneath your feet. 

Here's the thing about being a General. You knew how to organize armies, how to train soldiers to fight, how to strategize on a battlefield. You were not a covert spy trained to track down rogue Angels. Sure, you went after Cain, but he was sloppy. Despite going to the Goetia and bargaining his soul for a bit of magic to hide him from you, he left a trail for you to follow. All you had to do was hunt down the Goetia he talked to, and, presto, you had a lead.

Eve wasn't really trying to hide. If she was, she'd have found a way to hide the potency of her power: roses, her magic smelled like roses. You could scent it miles away. The downside to chasing Eve was that she was unpredictable. Her moves didn't make any sense or have any logic to them. She was scattered with her actions. Map it out on a battlefield, and it would seem like random nonsense. There was logic to war but not to Eve. Which made it hard to capture her.

Like trying to trap lightning in a bottle.

“Tootle-loo, Mikaela,” Eve sang. The Angel skipped to the hangar doorway, stopping before she closed it. Something flashed in her eyes. Sadness? Pity? Worry? “Don’t be a stranger,” she smiled softly, and then she slammed the door shut. 

____________________________________________

(1945, Germany) 

The sirens were deafening as you rounded corner after corner, your fire illuminating the tunnels as you ran. 

“Come on, come on,” you huffed, out of breath. You’ve been sprinting through battlefields all night long to make it here before the Russian army, but you were cutting it dangerously close. 

BANG! The echoes of a gunshot had your ears ringing as you emerged into a well-lit bunker. A dead body lay at Eve’s feet, scarlet pooling beneath it. Another - a woman - sat slumped at a table in a pile of vomit. 

Gross. 

“Oh, hey!” She lit up, her brunette curls bobbing.  

You sidestepped the blood, trying to catch your breath, “Eve, this is getting old.” You were quickly finding out the Angel had a proclivity for violence - specifically guns. What was with her and modern weaponry? 

She did a double take, not of the man moaning on the ground, but of your face. You ignored her questioning look, choosing to bend over and suck down gulps of air. It wasn’t that the running took a lot out of you. By golly, you could run for days before getting tired, go weeks without food, go months without water, but broken ribs always made it hard to breathe. 

Her happy demeanor turned down a few notches as she holstered the gun. “Hey,” she put a hand on your back in comfort.

You shoved her off. 

You did not need her pity. 

Eve blinked. “Why don’t we head up top and get some fresh air?”

The Russians were expecting to arrive at any minute, they’d most likely bomb the crap out of this place and bury the two of you alive. You nodded, wincing as you stood. 

Eve led you out of a secret tunnel hidden behind boxes of supplies. You followed behind her, summoning your sword as support as you limped to the surface. Ugh, your ankle was so swollen. 

Eve pushed open a wooden door, leading you into the morning sunlight. The two of you emerged at the edge of a small lake. The sun was rising over the water, the ruins of Berlin surrounding the park.

Eve sat at the edge of the water, watching the sun rise as armies marched and chanted toward the Capitol behind you. The dichotomy was iconic. 

You looked between her and the sword and made a silent decision.

Slipping your sword back into the Void, you joined Eve in the grass - wincing as you sat.

“Germany wasn’t my doing. I just wanted to make that very clear,” she laughed awkwardly. “I’m only here because I wanted to end the bastard myself��” Her voice trailed off, the tension becoming… weird. 

You could feel her staring at your split lip and black eye. 

“Why?” You asked. 

She huffed, turning towards the sun, bathing in its morning warmth, “Because fuck heaven and fuck their design.” 

“People are dying because of you, Eve.” You gritted.

“So?” She scoffed. “People are always going to die, more will be made. Either they go to Heaven, or they go to Hell. There’s life after this, so not like I’m robbing them of anything. Besides, they’re nothing but puppets fulfilling some predetermined mapped-out plan Daddy designed. Regardless of their free will, they're powerless to fate. They're just machine parts, Mikaela. Just like you and I were designed to be.”

She huffed. “I mean, look at me. I was literally created from Adam’s rib - designed to be the perfect little wife. That’s all I am. That’s all Dad made me to be. I’m changing that!”

“By messing with Father’s design?”

She nods. 

“And you do this how?” You raised an eyebrow in confusion, choosing to humor her behavior. 

“The Book of Knowledge.” 

You laughed, “The book Lucifer stole and then gave you?” 

She nodded. 

“Why not use it to do good?”

“Because who the fuck cares if I do good? I mean, if I save a few hundred lives or help further a society what does that really accomplish? I’m only further giving in to God’s will. He wants them to succeed, to become better. It’s all a game, Mikaela, don’t you see that? I mean look at this!” She gestured to all of Berlin. “What kind of fucked up, power-hungry arsehole allows this to happen!? Just so humans can rise from the darkest moments of history, to learn and become better than they were before. All this to teach them a lesson!? I mean… Wow.” 

You shut your mouth. She had a point. This was messed up. 

The two of you sat for a long while, the orchestra of war playing in the background. 

Eve’s demeanor changes. “I saw the bruises in Russia.” Her words were sharp. 

Your blood ran cold. 

“At first, I thought they were just from training, but then why would a soldier have bruises around their throat from training?” 

Please don’t go there, Eve. Her rants about Father you could handle, not this. You didn’t deal with personal emotions, you bottled them up and shoved them deep down and quietly forgot about them - like a good soldier. 

“They talk, the guards in the prison. I’ve heard the rumors of Dad’s Golden Girl and her mysterious injuries, of the screams behind closed doors. So, in Chicago, I looked again. You had bruises on your shoulder.”

You shot her a questioning glance. 

“When you grabbed me part of your dress slipped just a bit… Mikaela, they looked like hand prints.”

You turned away from her, pulling in your knees and hugging yourself. 

“So in New Guinea, I tested my theory. Your reaction told me everything.”

Were you that easy to read?

Eve turned to you then, clearly eyeing the bruises on your face. “He beats you, doesn’t he?”

You didn’t answer. 

“I don’t know how you do it. To obey his every command for thousands of years… You, out of all of us, have a right to be pissed.”

“It’s my job,” you gritted, your hands were shaking, all emotion absent from your voice. “Besides, my failures are my own fault.”

“What?” Eve jumped to her feet. “How could you say that!? You don’t ask to be beaten. You don’t ask to have your bones broken and your face bloodied!?” 

“My failures are my own fault,” Your entire body was shaking now, your voice cracking. 

“Mikaela…” Eve planted herself on the grass next to you. Bombs exploded off in the distance, cheering echoing off the buildings. The Russians have arrived. 

“My fault.” You whispered, the words imprinted on your brain like ink on paper. “My fault. My fault. My…”

Eve brought you into a bear hug, holding you as tight as she could as the panic attack overcame you. “It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” 

You sobbed. 

"Listen to me - no one ever deserves to be abused, and it is never your fault. Abuse is a deliberate, cruel choice made by the abuser, and it is entirely on them. You are a strong, beautiful woman deserving of respect and love. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise."

Eve turned you to face her. “Say it, Mikaela. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” Her words were sharp and to the point, trying to jam the message into your mind. To cut out the toxic and replace it with the new. 

“It is…” You choked. “It is not my fault.” You cried.

“Louder!” She demanded. 

“It is not my fault,” you repeated, your voice shaky. 

“Louder!” 

“It is not my fault!” You screamed. 

“It is not your fault!” She echoed. 

And you hugged her back. 

____________________________________________

(Present Day, The Nothing, Pride Ring, Hell)

“You turned against Heaven and joined, Eve?” Alastor asked. He’s been eerily silent the entire time. 

You smiled, your yellow irises glinting mischievously. “I joined, Eve.”

The demon summoned his own chair and settled in next to you. Together, you stared off at the silhouette of Pentagram City, its lights shining like beacons into the red sky. 

“We spent the next thirty-something years traveling. London, Korea, Russia - we went everywhere, sowing seeds of chaos in our wake. She started me on the little stuff, and I worked my way up from there. From swearing and alcohol to stealing and, eventually, murder. Eve was like a gateway drug; just once wasn’t enough to satisfy you, but it was enough to get you hooked. And, somewhere in that time, Eve became my friend.” 

You sighed, your eyes swimming in memories. “But, like any drug, at some point in time, it isn’t enough anymore. You need more to keep going, to stay satisfied…” 

____________________________________________

(1974, London)

DING! 

“Order up!” The chef behind the counter yelled. 

SLURP! You found the bottom of your milkshake. “Fuck,” you cried. “I’m out.”

The two of you, after an extremely long plane ride from America, stopped at a lunch counter for a quick snack.

The time in between master plans was always your favorite but also your most hated. It meant a time of scheming, of plotting something new and exciting, but it was also a time when Eve tended to channel her energy into other matters. Most notably sex, drugs, and music. It's like she needed an outlet for her restless energy.

You put your newspaper down, the title reading "Nixon Resigns!" and turned to Eve. The brunette wasn’t paying attention, her mind on the cute human boy sitting at the end of the counter. 

You analyzed her as she daydreamed. The itch was there again, the temptation to bring up what you’ve been keeping silent on for so long. 

Eve was fine with toying about on Earth. You didn’t blame her; she’d been locked up for so long, and all she wanted to do was live and do as she pleased, but frankly, you were growing bored. Sure fucking around with the humans was entertaining, but the fact of the matter was you accomplished nothing from it. 

Eve believed she was messing with Dad’s grand creation, but if you paid attention, Heaven found a way to fix everything she undid. After all of her meddling, things always returned to normal: war ended, economies stabilized, rulers were replaced, and laws were rewritten. Anything Eve ever did was fixed. And that was starting to bother you. 

You wanted bigger. You wanted more. You wanted permanent. And you had an idea to make it happen. 

“Eve,” you lightly tapped her hand. Dreamily, she turned to you. 

“Oh, you’re done already?” She pouted. 

“Yeah… Listen,” you cleared your throat, preparing your speech. “I want to propose a field trip. Maybe a change in scenery?” 

Eve blinked. “A change in scenery? What’s wrong with the scenery here?” She motioned to the cute British boy, her voice a little too loud for comfort. 

“Nothing! Nothing! I just…” You hesitated. You needed a hook, a reason to get Eve interested. 

The truth was, you tried broaching this topic before, but she always blew it off. Eve was content. You were not. She didn’t want a change in the status quo - you were growing bored of the status quo. 

So, this time, you were going to baby-step her into your plan - turn her opinion around. Perhaps, help her see the fun she could have by finally doing something your way for once. 

“There’s this festival I’ve always wanted to go to,” you suggest. “Lot’s of cute boys. There will be music, dancing, drinking… It’ll be a good time!” 

“A festival,” she lit up. “Sounds fun!” 

“Cool. Cool… It’s in Wrath.” 

She choked, “What!?” 

“I know, it’s in Hell, but can we just check it out? If you hate it, we can leave right away. I just… I’ve never been. I thought maybe it would be a new adventure for us?” You shrug.

Eve thinks a moment. 

“Plus, we’d be breaking so many rules. Angels aren’t allowed in Hell, after all…”

“Done.” She stands. “Let’s go!” Eve grabs your arm and pulls you out of the restaurant. 

In a side alley, you summon a portal and are whisked away into what you would look back on and consider to be the beginning of the end. 

____________________________________________

(7 years ago, Pride Ring, Hell)

"I'll be there momentarily, Al," Lilith hung up the phone as you entered the room. "Mikaela, Eve," she greeted.

You step into the office and close the door behind you. “Lilith,” you nod to her in greeting.

Your plan worked. Eve and you spent the better part of nearly fifty years partying your way through the Rings of Hell. It started in Wrath with the Harvest Moon Festival - Eve enjoyed the Pain Games far more than you expected - and resulted in a series of debauchery moving up from there.

You hadn't really spent time in Pride - you've had enough of mortals and their petty problems for a good while. However, your next plan - the ultimate plan - required you to be here.

Nearly 50 fucking years... It took you that long to convince Eve of your plan... and to make it seem like it was her idea. You had discovered that, yes, Eve was a schemer, but her plans were always limited in their size. You were thinking bigger.

This was your third meeting with Lilith and if everything went to plan, it would be your last.

The Queen of Hell stood next to the window, the view overlooking Pentagram City. She didn't want to meet at her home - understandable - which was tucked away in a pocket dimension. So, you met here, at her... office? I guess if you want to call it that, sure. It was an office in the City.

Even took a seat on the desk, her fingers rummaging through everything and anything set before her. "Awww," she grabbed a photo. "The three of you are so cute!"

You tried not to groan. "Eve..."

"Sorry," she dropped the frame, pulling her hands into her lap like a scolded child. The Second Woman turned on her charm before addressing existence's First. "Are we ready?"

Lilith continued to stare out the window, her eyes swimming with unspoken thoughts. Her horns looked rather shiny today, her purple dress perfectly pressed - she dressed for the occasion. The woman smoothed her dress, a nervous habit of hers. The Queen turned to you, her plum eyeshadow sparkling in the light. "Yes."

In a flash, you had Eve pinned to the floor, your hands wrapped around her throat.

Confusion swam in her eyes as you squeezed. "Mikaela?" She choked out.

Lilith leaned over. Making eye contact, the First Woman commanded, "Do not move. Do not fight back."

And Eve froze.

The power of Lilith's voice... It's what makes her singing abilities so powerful; it's how she convinces the masses and rules over Hell so easily.

"I'm sorry, Eve, but I can't have you holding me back any longer."

Confusion turned to fear as you channeled your fire into your hands and began to burn - Holy Fire. You've killed members of the Angelic kind before - mostly lower-level Angels prone to corruption, like the Ishim. It was easy to erase lesser beings, and surprisingly, it was easier to take down Eve than you originally thought. Especially considering she never thought you turning against her was a possibility.

Eve screamed as she died, and when her body was nearly ash, you were left with not a soul before you but the physical embodiment of power: a book. not just any book, but the book. It was ethereal and partially incorporeal as you collected it in your hands.

"Having second thoughts?" Lilith asked.

"No," you immediately responded. "No, just... I've been thinking about this for a long time. Longer than when I originally approached you and proposed the idea. Now it's finally here... It doesn't feel real."

(In hindsight, this wasn't just one of the hardest decisions you had ever made but a defining moment that had left a mark on your very being. If you were willing to kill one of the most important people in your life, what else wouldn't you do?

So, no, dear reader, you did not tell Alastor how much this killed you. You did not tell Alastor how much you cried. You did not tell him the real reason why you needed music to sleep at night was not because the screaming disturbed you but because when you fell asleep, those screams morphed into that of Eve's.

There would be a day, however, when you told the Radio Demon how much this hurt, and he would see you cry and completely fall apart. A day when you would broach this topic and eventually heal this ugly part of you.

But - as we all learned from the Full Moon episode - years of trauma does not get resolved in one conversation.

Alastor, however, could see it in your eyes. You didn't need to tell him. He may not have ever killed Vox, but there was something there, something that happened with which he could relate to what you were feeling right now as you told him your story.

And you were thankful for it, because he gave you a look which said you did not have to go there right now - he understood.)

Hesitantly, you brought the golden, glowing book to your chest and felt the power fuse with your being.

Printed text exploded across your skin as the magic accepted its new host. The energy flooding your veins, the high unlike anything ever before.

Fuck, is this how Eve felt all the time? No wonder she was always so restless with energy.

"Okay," you turned your back on Lilith and unbuttoned your shirt. You would NOT let yourself revel in how good this felt. You would NOT let yourself drown in the ecstasy of power.

Pulling ink and a quill from the void, you stood there as Lilith etched a rune across your back. When she had finished, the text across your skin was pulled towards the rune and locked beneath the seal.

You breathed deeply, feeling the weight of the power lift from your shoulders, "It worked."

It had to be contained until the time was right. You couldn't have anyone sensing what you carried. The potency of power is how you managed to track Eve down on Earth - it made her a target. Plus, you didn't know what that kind of power would do to your head - it made Eve scatterbrained and impulsive. Constantly chasing the high. You needed clarity to accomplish what you and Lilith had planned.

Power is a dangerous thing. You saw what it did to God, and no part of you ever wanted to have any similarities with that man. So, long ago, when you made the ultimate decision to take the power from Eve, you decided it needed to be locked away as well.

"This is written in Leviathan," Lilith observed. "Didn't Dad -?"

"Yes," you cut her off.

It was before the dawn of man, during Dad's experimental age. The monsters were violent and could not be controlled. He ordered you to corral them into a pocket dimension: Purgatory. You raised and led an army against them, and still, it had taken you years to subdue and capture them all. Your reward? Father pushed you in behind them and locked the door.

"Find a way out," he ordered - punishment for disappointing him. How had you disappointed him, you ask? You took too long.

"I have some... baggage to take care of before I leave." She began, noting the pile of ash on her carpet. "Your contact in Pride is no longer an option."

Fuck. You'd put considerable effort into vetting the Overlord Lilith had pointed you towards - Husk. Now, you were going to have to start over with someone else.

You'd later learn Husk fell from power, losing it in a game of cards to Alastor, of all people. The demon had become a thorn in your side long before you ran into him at the Hotel.

"Whom do you suggest?" You rebuttoned your shirt.

"Rosie, she's a wonderful woman. She'll be good to you, and I trust her."

You had no choice but to take her word for it. Question her now, on the eve of the beginning, especially when you sensed hesitation within her, might just tip her over the edge. She was leaving her husband and child behind, after all.

You held out your hand. "Shall we?"

Lilith considered your offer for a moment. Although she agreed to help you double-cross Eve, you never finalized the contract. You agreed not to, pending how killing the brunette played out, but Lilith came to play.

Your heart held no sympathy for the Queen. She was about to lose everything, but it was temporary. Lilith would be returning home to a husband and a child - to a family. You? You had no home, no family anymore. Lilith could handle a few years away.

Eventually, the demon shook your hand. The room exploded in blues and purples, marking the contract you two just made.

You smirked, "I guess it's time for my grand entrance." You made for the door. "You'll be fine?"

Lilith sighed, "If anyone knows how to handle Adam, it's me."

Right...

"Goodbye, Lilith."

She stopped you, her fingers wrapped around your arm rather tightly. "No harm comes to her." The purple in Lilith's eyes flashed.

She was talking about Charlie. Her daughter was part of the deal: no harm comes to her or her family.

"Of course..."

She let you go. "To power and chaos."

"To power and chaos," you responded as the door shut behind you.

You nearly landed on Rosie a few hours later...

____________________________________________

(Present Day, The Nothing, Pride Ring, Hell)

Alastor leaned forward in his chair, his elbow on his knees, his chin cupped in his hands. His eyes bore into you with every word of your story. The demon listened intently, paying attention to every detail, every flicker of emotion on your face. 

Was he expecting you to lie? Was he expecting deceit? You had offered up nothing but the truth - for once. You told Alastor the entire story.

“You killed Eve.”

“I did.” 

“For power?” 

“Yes.”

Alastor’s eyes finally leave yours, his gaze wandering to the City before you. 

“I know why you’re at the Hotel, Alastor.” 

That caught his attention. Surprise fills his face as he raises an eyebrow at you, ears perked at attention.

“Oh?” He purrs.

“I know about the deal with Lillith, but it’s more than that. You’re looking for Roo.*” You cross your arms in front of your chest, a sly smile worming its way into your crooked grin. Finally, you could let the demonic side of you shine - the curse of Knowledge slipping through. 

“Is that so?” He intertwines his fingers, his hands coming to rest in his lap. The Radio Demon is clearly amused with your statement - yet his radio static is nowhere to be found. 

Interesting.

“Power and chaos. Isn’t that always the story?” You stand and take a step towards him, cautious yet curious to see how he will react.

“And what would you know of Roo?” His lips curl.

There it was. There’s the Radio Demon. The power-hungry murderer. God, that look gave you chills. 

“I know that’s not her real name,” another step. 

Alastor sits up straighter.

You can’t believe he hasn’t put it together - or he has, and he’s toying with you.

“Oh?”

“Rule number one of Hell, don’t go by your God-given name.”

He waits for you to elaborate. 

“Roo’s real name…” You take another step, his eyes flicker over your form, noting the proximity. Was he anxious? You leaned forward, your hands on the armrests of his chair as you towered over him.

You stopped close enough to feel Alastor’s breath on your face, his eyes automatically dropping to your red lips. You smirked, “...was Eve.”

You feel the tattoo on your back shift as you break the rune which was sealing the magic within.

Words fly across your skin, roaming the unclothed flesh. Your sclera turned black, your hair coming undone by the power surging through every fiber of your being. Horns grew atop your head, your spiked tail unfolding from your backside. Your wings popped out, their black feathers shining in the light. The Radio Demon watched as you let the power of the Book of Knowledge, hidden deep within you, flow freely for the first time in nearly a decade.

He could feel it, he could smell it - the power so potent he could taste it on his tongue: roses, the Book forever carrying a remnant of its original owner, Eve.

You were the epitome of power - the Root of All Evil.

Roo.

After Lucifer ran off with Lilith, he returned to the Garden of Eden with a gift: the Book of Knowledge. He granted it to Eve before he left. Eve never said why he did it, but she was grateful. She would do anything to get away from Eden. Eve took the book and attempted to flee, but Father lured her back, using Adam as bait. Despite what the Second Woman claimed, part of you always believed she had feelings for the First Man...

But, before Eve was taken, she merged herself with the power from the Book so it could never be separated from her. They’d have to kill her for it.

Instead, Father had her locked up and contained. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, and he didn’t want to risk that power passing on to a different hand only to breed a more powerful enemy.  

Eve stewed in isolation for thousands of years before finding a way out, before she made her way back to Earth to brew chaos and destruction. 

That’s when you were sent to find her. That’s when you befriended her. That’s when you killed her and took the power from the Book for yourself.  

Alastor’s smile widens far past what you thought was possible for the demon. His eyes meet yours, his gaze exploding with fire. 

“Interesting.” From the Void, Alastor pulls a blade - Velvette's blade. He palms the handle, gripping it in greedy temptation as you, the object of all his desires, stand before him. 

You couldn’t recall when the Angelic blade had ended up in his possession, but you weren’t surprised. You knew he was going to try and kill you when he found out - he’d need Angelic steel to do that.

The demon cups your face, his thumb running across your cheek. You could see the hunger for power in his eyes, the constraint with which he fought to maintain composure. Briefly, his pupils flashed into radio dials. 

“Absolutely beautiful,” Alastor breathed, his voice absent of static. His lips found yours as he kissed you long and gently. You let yourself melt into him, memorizing his smell, his warmth, the way his lips felt against yours for one final time...

. 

.

.

.

.

(Keep scrolling)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

... and then Alastor plunged the blade deep into your belly. 

Could you imagine if I just ended the series right there? That would be HILARIOUS, right? …right? Ha, ha, don’t worry, the story goes on. 

-> Chapter Fourteen

History Guide (if you read any of this, read the red at the bottom; it's super important to understanding the fanfic):

1917, Russia - A month after Eve and Thestral's meeting in Russia, Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich and the rest of the Romanov family were taken prisoner during the February Revolution in 1917, which ended Russia's involvement in WW1 and the Imperial reign of the Tsar. They were executed in July 1918. Yes, I am implying Eve had something to do with this. Link to Wiki

1923, Chicago - Al Capone (also known as "Scarface") was Chicago’s infamous Prohibition Era gangster. He was famous for bootlegging, illegal gambling, and violent crime. He ran one of Chicago's largest and most infamous gangs: Link to Wiki

1937 Lae, New Guinea - Amelia Earhart's - the famous American Aviation pioneer who attempted to become the first female pilot to fly around the world - last known location, before they found her plane in the sea, was Lae, New Guinea: Link to Wiki

1945, Germany - Did I just imply that Eve killed Hitler? Yes, yes, I did. Fun fact, Russia beat the USA to the Capitol of Berlin by only a few hours: Link to Wiki

1974, London - Although our protagonists (arguably antagonists at this point, am I right?) are in London and not Washington D.C., the major event of this segment is Nixon's resignation. I am implying that they had something to do with Watergate without directly stating it: Link to Wiki

*The Book of Knowledge: Okay, go back and watch Episode One, "Overture." In the beginning, when Charlie is reading the story of Heaven and Hell, there's a point where she says: "Together [Lilith and Lucifer], they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the Fruit of Knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted." The scene shows Lucifer handing Eve a book. The idea here is that knowledge = power, and Lucifer handed over the most powerful well of magic to Eve unknowingly. Knowledge = power = literal physical power = power corrupts = Roo is born.

BOOM. The entirety of my fanfic was birthed from one scene in Hazbin Hotel! But, in actuality, I do think Eve is Roo in canon. Link to Transcript

Tagged Hoteliers (Let me know if you want to be added!):

@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @mommymilkers0526 @goyablogsstuff

@eris-norwega @missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog @sillywormtrixareforkids @its-a-dam-blue-brick

@cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @saw1987

@mopeyghost @beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah

@diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta

@reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Hello hello! 👋

I have been a fan of your Grima-centric fics for a while now. I find it fascinating how he works as a character and seeing you explore his personality throughout your works is a favorite treat of mine ^^

One thing that stands out to me in particular is the dynamic that you’ve written for both Saruman and Gríma. Despite knowing that Gríma’s affection for Saruman is wholly one-sided, do you think there was a part of Saruman that considered Gríma as an almost companion? This came to mind when I realized that Saruman could’ve travelled alone to the Shire in the books, yet decided to take Gríma with him anyways. Would love to hear your opinion on this, seeing as you write them so well ^^

Aww thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy my little works - they are great fun to write and I'm always happy to hear when people find them a delight to read :D

The Saruman-Grima dynamic is one of those moments where I'm not sure Tolkien entirely appreciated what he had there with those two.

I personally do not think Saruman felt any sort of affection for or companionship with Grima. Initially, pre-war through to the early stages in February/March 3019, Grima was a useful pawn for Saruman in his chess tournament against both Rohan (whom he resented) and Sauron (who he wanted to triumph over).

So long as Grima was useful to him, Saruman might display warmth or a sort-of kindness, but it would have only been skin deep. Indeed, we know that as soon as Grima stopped being useful Saruman ceased being kind (presuming, naturally, that he had been kind previously. I assume he had, but that's speculation).

There is no depth to Saruman's affection for people - he is all about means to an end and that end is domination (he wants everyone and everything under his purview and to act and behave as he wishes for them to act and behave).

Saruman's calculating chilliness is born from his ambition, his pride and arrogance, and his disdain for those around him. Even Gandalf, one of the Wise, a fellow Maiar, barely makes the cut of someone Saruman might have a semblance of respect for. And that vanishes as soon as Gandalf says "dude, maybe don't align yourself with Sauron? That has, historically, not worked out for people. Also he's evil."

As Saruman says to Gandalf (emphasis mine):

"We may join with that Power. [...] As the Power grows, its proved friends will also grow; and the Wise, such as you and I, may with patience come at last to direct its course, to control it. [...] We can bide our time, we can keep our thoughts in our hearts, deploring maybe evils done by the way, but approving the high and ultimate purpose: Knowledge, Rule, Order; all the things that we have so far striven in vain to accomplish, hindered rather than helped by our weak or idle friends."

Aside: we might think Knowledge! that's good! But it's more along the lines of knowledge attained through horrific means to serve a horrific end. We're not talking about a high minded scholarliness here.

Saruman is the sort of person who breaks things (and, it can be inferred, people) to see how it works but with little intention of putting it back together. I love this particular exchange between Saruman and Gandalf (emphasis mine):

'White!' he [Saruman] sneered. 'It serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.' 'In which case it is no longer white,' said [Gandalf]. 'And he that breaks a thing to find out what it was has left the path of wisdom."

In any case, Saruman's not a warm or loving person. I do wonder if he might have once been - because Gandalf tries to save Saruman from himself on several occasions and I get a sense that there is real heartbreak for Gandalf in Saruman's betrayal. But was Saruman faking that the entire time? Who is to say.

Once Saruman's powers are removed and his staff broken we are left with the shadow of someone who once had been great and who is now bitter and twisted through with anger and resentment. Yet, his desire to control and dominate people in his life remains making for an even uglier combination than when he was at the height of his power.

Which brings us back to Grima - Grima who represents the Rohirrim (those measly horse lords who dared defy Saruman! and won!), who represents the race of Man (pathetic creatures Saruman thinks are incapable of managing themselves with sense or wisdom, better he control them), who represents the fall from power and grace, who represents everything Saruman is angry at.

Saruman brought Grima along so he would have one last thing to stand atop of. One last person to beat down and degrade. One last man he can scrape his claws through the brain and soul of in order to dismantle him for the sake of dismantling him.

When Frodo offers Grima a hand, a way out from Saruman that is truly a way out, with someone who would support him, and Grima is clearly tempted to accept Frodo's offer we see fear from Saruman. He lashes out: the Worm isn't very nice; didn't someone ask about Lotho? The Worm killed him. The Worm has been very hungry. The Worm might have eaten your cousin, why would you offer the Worm anything? The Worm should stay with me.

It's desperation and flailing, on Saruman's part, and all as a means of keeping Grima with him so Saruman has someone to beat, starve, and degrade. If there is someone else to be cruel to, then Saruman won't have to be alone with only himself to look at.

-

So yeah! In summary, I don't think Saruman is someone who would want to be alone because he would rather have a fellow traveler he detests and can be cruel to for the sake of cruelty. It gives Saruman a sense of control, a sense of "at least there is one person who is lower than me and it's this Worm that should crawl on his hands and knees after me. Which is what I deserve. I deserve followers and people to bow and scrape and serve me." etc.

Domination of others because you believe you know better (and are better) than them and that you could rule and order their life to your own desires is one hell of a drug. Don't take it! Not even once!

-

Thank you for the ask! :D I love talking about our beloved damp bog rat snake man who is confusingly wet. Also love talking about the local Tower Top.

[horizon-verizon]

those twt and tiktok fans used the the book description when it's convenient, bc it is said that rhaenyra was quick to anger, so are we going to say that she abused her children?? they are such short-sighed people. the maesters hated daemon targaryen, it was said by then that he fucked maidens, that he fucked nettles, they would have loved to paint D as an abuser to his family if existed a minimal sign of that. and this is why i'm so dissapointed in jj (i thought she was a book purist)

Anon refers to these tweets and retweets ladydragonjj made on the day the Daemon-Abuser-for-3-Seconds clip was made known on Twitter:

There are also people going after Jacaerys, saying that it makes "sense" for him to turn out "abusive" as well towards women because he lives in a sexist world where noblewomen are breeders and "F&B is unreliable anyway":

When before, it was just team-greens.

People--those who prefer PoV chapters just in most fiction esp after havign read the main series, misunderstood the point of having sources other than the MCs tell the MC's story(ies) OR those who never read the book--

Ozymalek, who I depicted answering JJ above first, had this to say in a tumblr post before they left tumblr (it's my reblog):

Excerpt:

The Dance era in "Fire and Blood" is something that will fundamentally cause the feelings of cognitive dissonance. I think this is why people initially disliked this book when it first came out. It did not provide easy answers, it was written as a historical account, the in-universe historians were clearly biased. People, however, had trouble realizing who the historians are biased for and against. Team Green would have you think that "F&B" is biased against the Greens, because their allegiance as maesters clearly being to Hightowers notwithstanding, they could not evade simple historical facts: that most of the kingdom supported Rhaenyra, that Greens were horrendously misogynistic and that her usurpation was clearly wrong. That's why, approaching it from the "choose your favorite war criminal" point of view, it was difficult for Greens to accept that their preferred side is so cartoonishly evil - obviously bias must have been involved, even though the only pro-Black narrator of F&B is Mushroom, the rest are Greens. The maester's anti-Targaryen bias, however, manages to sneak in and mess with the reader's balance, causing said cognitive dissonance. It's hard to deal with it as a reader, let alone as a showrunner who's trying to adapt a story in which not everything is set in stone. They incorrectly assumed that, because they are constantly forced to question what is happening in the story, the bias is with the underlying idea that there was a correct side. As such, they assumed that all the inconsistencies result from maesters not choosing to view it that way. Ryan Condal repeatedly stated that he does not want watchers to pick sides, while George RR Martin embraces it and even encourages it (and I think that he himself has picked the Blacks). Such is our nature as human beings. So they decided that they have to balance the scales. Because Greens are poorly developed, they added more characterization for them that contradicts their book personas (abused child bride meow meow Alicent who is clueless about the plans that in the books she herself set in motion, for example) while simultaneously taking the characterization AWAY from team Black members.

I never saw JJ really sell or convey that she herself as a book purist. She just loves the books like many popular creators AND she likes the show even with some critiques here and there. Like a lot of popular creators. She and HallowedHarpy--very good explainers of canon, btw,, the latter esp for Dany's arc and being to Azor Ahai--are those who like HotD for what it is and continue to express reasons why fans should take chill pills for stuff released from the show or do not think of some things as "changes" bc of how the book is written as a historical propaganda tool. Or like some changes that they know are changes, like Rhaenyra's initial anti-warness or her fighting, which they both make a few persuasive points or I know where they are coming from to think so (like GRRM has made Rhaenyra too separate from battle by using the miscarriage thing [there were 3-9 months that Rhaenyra MIGHT have used to properly/fully recover from the stillbirth for her to be absent from Rook's Rest if we ignore the argument of how rulers were not always fighting bc it put them in danger...as what happened to Rhaenys & Aegon at Rook's Rest AND how Criston clearly planned that ambush, likely for her so I can't hate Rhaenrya for not being there but I dislike GRRM for writing that way]...but in the show idk/we don't know how long show!Rhaenyra will take to recover from her miscarriage/Visenya stillbirth either, since in the book, it's said that Rook's Rest happened not that long after the first black council...but time also works funky in the book, so 🤷🏼‍♂️).

Here are some thoughts I've taken down abt HH's convictions (italics are direct quotes and words used in video):

It's from a tiktok called "Feminism: F&B Rhaenyra vs HotD Rhaenyra." I agree and disagree with some points (bc HERE, HERE, (authorial intent, how this is still a fiction piece), HERE, HERE, how we know abt Daemon v Aemond's fight despite no one being up there with them, how we know abt Aegon's 12 yr old "paramour" thru the green-sympathizer Septon Eustace, and just abt every post of mine with the tag "Rhaenyra's characterization" [in particular those where I defend *some* of her decisions]).

Nonetheless, I also don't think it's productive to go shame people for their thoughts...unless they are just (-ist). Even then, the energy.

[neatangent]

I think I have cracked the chelby code , I was interested in the movie on the trailer alone but the compilation of chelby comics on YouTube made me seal the deal , on the topic of trailers

I never saw a trailer basically tell audience what’s supposed to be a surprise and the fact that by the end Ruby is fighting against a red giant monster with a trident and Chelsea appearing in this promo as a mermaid with red hair and a trident https://youtu.be/99_TZqyyDrE?si=DZKhz4qGt6wGfyls

If that wasn’t enough there also this

It’s kinda of embarrassing how telegraphed the twist was , and when the movie confirmed it , it should have sinked the ship right ? … weeeeelllllll no

and as someone who knew of it after the movie release , whenever you ship it or not ,

let me explain why it didn’t :

From scene one the story explains how krakens are misunderstood creatures , being labeled as bloodthirsty monsters but in reality they are noble guardians victims of prejudice , so much that the Gillmans have to pretend to be Canadians to live on Oceanside , it’s a simple story on how you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but there is a problem , and that problem are the mermaids , the trailer itself calls them vain narcissist , basically what people thinks the krakens were , the mermaids actually are ,

some saw a problem with this , the movie presents all krakens as good and all mermaids as evil which is true in the narrative , but something like this already happened before , back when SVTFOE wasnt a dumpster fire , it tackled the theme of historical revisionism https://youtu.be/O-mr46TOHmk?feature=shared

And the stories pass down to generations might have been modified to fit a narrative

The thing is the setup is not that much different from what grandmamah tells Ruby , both end up ruling unchallenged a vast territory even though many others inhabit it , it’s like if star was right from the start and monster were only evil and the were was no wrong in conquering their territory , so people were a bit confused on how the movie seemingly presented on side as missunderstood and the other as completely in the wrong , of course the actual answer it’s that riff on the little mermaid , but nothing on the movie is about the little mermaid, Chelsea just looks like her and people like her because they thought she saved Connor , but enough about that a movie should criticized what it is and not what it could been ,

which brings me to the main reason on why chelby still exist and it’s thriving (on tumblr) , the movie does a terrible job at presenting any character that are not the Gillmans , Chelsea or the captain that is actually pretty funny , Ruby friend group have one personality trait each , goth girl , clown girl and streamer , Connor exist as a reward for Ruby at the end and aside from maybe skating I cannot tell you what he likes aside from the things that Ruby likes ( I dare you to came up with something) ,

that leaves out Chelsea that despite being presented as a self centered popular girl until the very end it’s the only positive reinforcement Ruby has in the story , everyone else either disappears like Ruby friends ( which would have ditched to go to prom without her ) , grandmamah basically wants her to be the next in line to the throne ( a kraken always answer the call ) and Agatha left Ruby in the dark about the whole situation of her being capable of becoming a kraken , this leaves Chelsea in a weird position story wise she’s the main antagonist but it’s also a mentor to Ruby and it’s what she needs the most at the moment , case in point in a moment of vulnerability Ruby goes to her

and she actually received good advice and from this point on the movie is about Chelsea teaching Ruby how to be more in touch with her kraken side and with all the previous points it comes together to make them the most intriguing relationship in the movie and it made people want that the story would have been focused on them

[bywandandsword]

So I watched Good Omens 2 for the first time the other day (and I'm being very brave and normal about that ending, thank you), and my brain went "Well all of the angel's names end in -'el', which makes sense cause that means 'God', but Lucifer and Satan don't fit into that naming convention, so where did those names come from?"

And turns out, the answer is fascinating.

The name Lucifer is from Roman paganism and was originally the name of the planet Venus and son of the goddess Aurora (goddess of the dawn). He was also called Phosphoros or Heosphoros, and he heralded of the dawn (it's cute that he's job was to announce that is mom was there)

The original mention of "Lucifer" in the Bible was actually a reference to a fallen King of Babylon, but the translation of the word that means "morning star" to Lucifer has since been abandoned by scholars. This is why historical context of Bible verses matters!

The motif of a being striving for prominence in heaven and then being cast down to the underworld originates in the motions of the planet Venus, also known as the morning star. This motif in myth "The fall from heaven motif is also in Canaanite mythology with Attar trying to get the throne of Ba'al and failing

And then, because I know Satan as a figure isn't really a thing in Judaism, I wondered how he got into Christianity

the Hebrew word "satan" just means "accuser" or "adversary" and in the Old Testament is applied to anyone as an antagonist in the narrative, angels and humans alike

In between the writing of the Old and New Testaments, there was a lot of empire building by Persia and Rome, which led to a lot of contact between religions and idea sharing. One of the ideas that was popular at the time was the separation of Good and Evil into rival forces from Zoroastrianism. While good and evil figures exist in all mythologies, this influence seemed to basis for this binary world view in Christianity

In the New Testament, a lot more references to a satan were added, normally referring to any force that opposed early Christianity, and over time they were conflated and attributed to one being/the Evil Side. The way people talked about it went from someone acting as a satan to people acting as agents of Satan

Then! In looking into all this, I found a mosaic that's thought to be the earliest known depiction of Satan from the 6th century depicting the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats and it's very surprising

(image: mosaic depicting three haloed figures on a rocky green field, Jesus in purple is seated the center, a winged angel in red to Jesus' right and a winged angel in blue to Jesus' left. Both angels have their right hands raised with the palm to the viewer. Jesus is gesturing to the three sheep that stand in front of the angel in red. In front of the angel in blue are three goats)

So the angel in blue is supposed to represent Satan, and in this parable Jesus is explaining Judgment, using sheep to represent those going to Heaven and goats to represent those going to Hell. And this got me thinking about how Satan has been depicted and asking "is this why Satan is so strongly associated with goats?" and the answer is yes, but also no

Because Satan is associated with Evil, and Evil is conceived as anything that is not of God or aligns the the Church's teachings, most pagan deities at some point got associated with Evil or conflated with Satan at some point. Because Rome was the origin point for the spread of Christianity, the two main deities that Satan was conflated with were Hades, which is where the pitchfork imagery and Hell originated, and Pan, which is where Satan being horned and hoofed came from

Hell became conflated with Hades (the place) and because it was Evil, became a place of torment/punishment. This conflation also went well with the previously mentioned "fall from Heaven" motifs which all together originated Satan's mythology

Pan also became associated with Satan for a couple of reasons. One reason was because Pan as a god is associated with pastoralism and roads (which is very interesting considering the Devil's associated with road, especially crossroads), but more importantly, Pan is associated with wild spaces, places outside the realm of Society or "Civilized"

If you know anything about ancient Rome, you know there's nothing that makes ancient Romans nervous more than "uncivilized" things (read: places not under Roman control). Therefore it makes sense that Pan would get conflated with Evil

Pan is also associated heavily with sexuality and his fauns are notoriously sex pests in the mythology. With Rome's newfound obsession with chastity and demonization of anything sexual, it also isn't a surprise that Satan became an overtly sexual being

However, through the middle ages, while Satan was depicted as horned and monstrous (hilariously often with a second face in place of his junk), he wasn't super associated with goats until relatively recently

There is the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, and there is the scapegoat tradition that takes place at Yom Kippur, where a goat was given all the sins of the community and then released into the wild, but there was also a goat that was dedicated to God and was sacrificed for the holiday feast, so the strong associated with goats and Evil doesn't really exist in the Bible

There's some association with goats and evil in continental European depictions of witches, but that seems to be just cause they're more ornery than sheep, and their association with shepherdesses, like how witches were associated flying brooms because a lot of breweries were run by women and the symbol of the trade was brooms. Basically, witches and evil were associated with things that women of any societal independence had

However, where the goat symbolism really took off for a couple reasons. The first being Goya's paintings of witch's sabbats in the last 18th century that depict the Devil as a goat. This might be reference to the motif that was popular in Spain at the time of an upright quadruped performing routine human activities as a satire of men's follies. Goya specifically used goats, but other depictions of the Devil at the time also used bulls or any other generic horned figure

The second and BIGGEST reason was the image of Baphomet drawn in 1856 by Éliphas Lévi (Remember, this was the time when interest in the occult was high and things like the Spiritualism movement really started kicking off)

This depiction of Baphomet is really interesting in and of itself because Lévi basically cobbled together a bunch of different things from Victorian occultism

Baphomet is meant to be "symbolization of the equilibrium of opposites...half-human and half-animal, male and female, good and evil, etc. Lévi's intention was to symbolize his concept of balance, with Baphomet representing the goal of perfect social order"

The goat part specifically references the "Goat of Mendes" mentioned by Herodotus, who's favorite thing was being xenophobic as fuck. Herodotus says that the Goat of Medes was worshipped in Mendes (the greek name for the Egyptian city Djedet). He goes on to say some pretty slanderous things about the people there but the deity he's referring to seems to be Banebdjedet

Banebdjedet is an Egyptian ram-headed god (are we really going to take the word of Herodotus seriously when the fucker can't even tell goats and rams apart????) who's associated with creation, pottery, and fertility of the Nile floods

Lévi, and other Victorians, took Herodotus at face value and ran with it in his depiction of Baphomet

Baphomet as a figure on the other hand comes from Crusader days, where allegedly the Templars worshipped Baphomet as a deity

The name Baphomet originates from an account of the siege of Antioch; "As the next day dawned, they [i.e. the inhabitants of Antioch] called loudly upon Baphometh; and we prayed silently in our hearts to God, then we attacked and forced all of them outside the city walls". However, the 'Baphometh' the people of Antioch were calling come from the name 'Bafomet', which French troubadours were using to refer to the prophet Muhammad

The idea that the Templars were worshipping Baphomet come from the fact that, because they lived in a predominately Muslim society, some Templars converted to Islam or adopted Muslim practices in their own worship, and they were vilified as a result. So, like with Herodotus, it just originates with the demonization of other people

Getting back to Satan, Lévi's depiction of Baphomet as the "Sabbatic Goat" really became popular among occultists, being used to represent evil in several practices

The imagery got picked up by the King of Fuckwads and Douche-canoes, Aleister Crowley, who made it a central part of his tradition. Because Aleister Crowley unfortunately had such a strong influence on ceremonial magic traditions of the 20th century, the imagery was merged with other horned/antlered deity imagry and was used to represent the Horned God in British Ceremonial Witchcraft and all the derivatives of it (ie; Wicca, Traditional English Witchcraft, ect.)

A few theistic satanist groups also branched out of these ceremonial magic traditions and used Baphomet. Because of the nature of many of these groups (being loud, dickish, and as inflammatory as possible). Combined with the Satanic Panic of the '80's pushed Baphomet as the representation of Satanism to the broader public, rather than just in the social spheres of occult nerds

This of course influenced later branches of Satanism, like the non-theistic Satanic Temple, and popculture depictions of the devil, such as Black Phillip in Robert Eggers' The VVitch

It's all very fascinating. It's so interesting to see how Satan as a figure came about and evolved over the centuries and how that evolution is so rooted in their historical contexts and the values of the people in those times, and how they view the Other. I didn't even get to how the Protestant Revolution or Paradise Lost or Appalachian/Southern folklore changed the depiction of the Devil in the popular consciousness, but it's all super fascinating

[mariacallous]

(JTA) — How often do men think about the Roman Empire? It’s a question that’s been hard to avoid lately, after a woman on TikTok asked it of her husband and he answered immediately: “Every day.”

Since then, the hashtag #RomanEmpire has raked in millions of views across multiple social media platforms, with men admitting that, yes, they do think a lot about the Roman Empire. Some suggested it was the fascination with military conquest, others the appeal of gladiators (and the 2000 movie “Gladiator”) and still others a love of history. On the less savory side, some men seem drawn to the patriarchal nature of Roman society and the idea that Rome was the foundation of Western (read, “white”) civilization. 

Like a lot of cultural phenomena that flow from the strange, turbid waters of TikTok, the question soon spread beyond social media. And also like a lot of what catches on there, it can be easy to dismiss the whole thing — along with its peculiar, gendered valances, its memes and counter-memes — as a brief, hot-burning fever of the terminally online. 

Yet I have found myself pondering the question more than I would have expected. And the reason is that as with almost everything — at least in the eyes of Jews who are inclined to look, as I as a rabbi find myself to be — Jewish tradition has a lot to say about how often we should contemplate the world of caesars and praetorians. 

Probably the most obvious reason why a good Jew thinks often about the Roman Empire is, of course, historical trauma. In one way or another we recall the destruction of the Second Temple at the hands of the Roman emperor Hadrian — a national and spiritual disaster of the highest order — at weddings and in daily prayer, on Tisha B’Av and on Yom Kippur. We leave symbols of the destruction on the walls of our homes. Its memory deforms a large swath of our summer, robbing us of music, swimming pools, haircuts and joy.

For the ancient sages, all of this is rooted in thinking about the Roman Empire. Their thoughts turned to the empire often, and their thoughts were dark. They equated pre- and post-Christian Rome with Esau, Isaac’s wayward son, and they equated Esau with all that was evil and through the power of the literature they left behind they ensured that generations of Jews would do the same.

But, on a very basic level, it’s also worth remembering that the ancient rabbis — the progenitors of the Mishnah and the Talmud upon whose visionary creativity all subsequent Jewish history and religious culture is based — were deeply enmeshed in ancient Roman society. Though not quite citizens, they were acculturated and literate. They incorporated Roman traditions into a variety of Jewish practices, including how we light Hanukkah lights and how we experience the seder. 

Through a stroke of luck, history has preserved a marvelous epistolary exchange between the great Roman statesman Seneca and his father. In a letter, Seneca informs his old man that he has decided to become a vegetarian. His father, in his response, tells Seneca that this simply won’t do because as a vegetarian he would not be able to eat from the sacrifices to Zeus and consequently everyone would think he was a Jew. 

What is remarkable and important about this exchange is not his father’s Jew-hatred — the presence of casual antisemitism everywhere is wholly unremarkable, as every Jew knows — but rather that Seneca’s father’s admonition, even as it otherizes the Jews, belies the fact that the Jews of ancient Roman Palestine, the rabbis and their followers, appeared very Roman indeed. After all, if not for their bizarre abstention from eating Roman cult sacrifices, they looked just like Seneca! They were, to put it succinctly, toga- and sandal-wearing, lettuce-dipping, symposium-loving Romans.

So ironically, even as the main thrust of rabbinic tradition is starkly anti-Roman, the ancient rabbis were very much products of their times. They were about as Roman as I am American, which is to say almost but not quite and, in the end, it is the not-quite rather than the almost that is determinative. 

My view of the Roman Empire is informed by a frothing admixture of resentment, fear and admiration, a strange, Jewish brew that I inherited from my ancient ancestors. So how often do I think about the Roman Empire? I think about the Roman Empire all the time.

[euterpessi]

Romance Manhwa/Manga Recommendations:

Historical Manhwa/Manga:

Death Is The Only Ending For The Villainess

I’ve reincarnated as the reverse harem game’s villainess, the one and only adopted daughter of the ducal Eckart family.

But the difficulty just has to be the worst!

Everything I do will only lead me to death.

I must be paired with one of the main male characters from the heroine’s harem before the ‘real daughter’ of the duke family appears!

Two older brothers who always pick a fight with me on every little thing.

The insane crown prince whose route will always lead to my death.

‘I only see the heroine and no one else’s wizard, and also her loyal slave knight, too!

‘First, let’s take some of them which I see no hope in, out of the list!’

“I didn’t know my place up until now. From now on, I’ll live as quiet as a mouse so you wouldn’t care the slightest bit!

But why do their interests in me keep on rising every time I draw the line?!

The Villainess is a Marionette

Cayena, the Imperial Princess, was known as the most beautiful woman in the Empire. She was a woman who knew nothing but evil and luxury.

However, she was destined for ruin: she would be used as a chess piece by her younger brother to secure his throne and killed by her crazy husband.

“I’ll make you the Emperor.”

“… Sister, are you referring to me?”

“In exchange, give me freedom.”

She had to change things before she became that Cayena.

The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up At The Duke’S Mansion

Poisoned to death by her own betrothed?! Eunha didn’t wake up in a novel’s story just to get killed off again as an unfortunate extra! To change her story she needs a cover… 6 months pretending to be the fake fiancée of the novel’s male protagonist, Duke Noah Wynknight. But will this cold-hearted, angel-faced demon of a man really help her avoid another ill-fated ending?!

Your Throne / I Want to Be You, Just For A Day

The story follows main characters Medea Solon and Psyche Callista, who become archenemies after competing for the position of crown princess of the Vasilios Empire. On the day of the Yearly Prayer, Medea and Psyche accidentally switch bodies.

The Remarried Empress

Navier was the perfect empress, however, the Emperor wanted a wife, not a colleague. And so, the Emperor abandoned Empress Navier and placed an enslaved girl beside him. That was fine until Navier heard the Emperor promise the slave the Empress’ position. After many ups and downs, Navier decided she would accept being the Queen of the neighbouring country and remarry.

Kill The Villainess

Eris Mizerian was the villainess of a novel. The only daughter of a marquis, she got executed after scheming against the pure and lovely protagonist, Helena. My only goal, after possessing her, is simply to leave this world and go home. I am prepared to face even death, but the laws of this world keep stopping me.

A changed Eris begins to draw the attention of three men who once loathed her; the Crown Prince, the High Priest, and the Knight.

"It doesn't matter. I will never be able to love this world."

Even if the only way out is death,

even if the only way out is make a deal with a witch...

I will absolutely leave this world!

This is the story of the villainess who defies fate, Eris, and her escape from this world!

The Way To Protect The Female Lead's Older Brother

I accidentally took possession of someone in a 19+ reverse harem novel.

The problem is that I became Roxana Agriche, the older sister of the sub-villain. My damn father kidnapped the heroine’s brother. Now, is the only thing left to meet a terrible end from the vengeance of the heroine?

But what if I can avoid that horrible development?

“I’m also interested in this toy.”

“I’ll protect you until you can get out of here safely.”

The heroine’s brother, Cassis Pedalian, will definitely be able to pay me back later.

Shadow Queen

“Can you be my daughter for me?”

By his offer, Elena became Duke of Franceschi’s fake daughter.

She became the queen and gave birth to Crown Prince’s son.

Then suddenly, Princess Veronica who was assumed dead came back.

She was only just a toy.

But eventually, Elena gets her son taken and is murdered.

However, she went back to the past.

“I’ll destroy all of you.”

I’ll never live as a toy again.

Elena decides to seeks revenge.

Under the Oak Tree

The daughter of a duke, the stuttering Maximilian, married a knight of lowly status at her father’s coercion.

After their first night, her husband departed for an expedition without another word.

He comes back three years later, this time as a famous knight in the whole continent.

How would Maximilian face him on his return?

"The more I think of you, the more lonely and lonely I become. I don't know why I can't quit even though it's so painful."

I'm Stanning The Prince

Angela’s fanfic became such a sensation that it even reached the Imperial Family, leading her to get arrested on charges of treason. Nevertheless, her fanfic improved the First Prince’s image, and his sister, the Princess, decides to take political advantage of this and keep Angela by their side. 

The heroine who can now fangirl to her heart’s content, and the Prince who doesn’t know how to act around her. As they bicker back and forth, they start growing closer…

Miss Not-So Sidekick

Hyejung loved to read to escape her daily stress. But that’s before she woke up inside the bizarre world of her favorite novel! Instead of the main heroine who courts three eligible men, she is now Latte Ectrie – a minor villain that everyone hates?! One way or another, it’s a chance to live out her most beloved storyline, with popcorn in hand to watch all the drama! Taking charge of the narrative takes on a whole new meaning!

Even Though I’M The Villainess, I’ll Become The Heroine!

I wasn’t able to overcome the harassment and took my life, but I was reincarnated with the perpetrator? The perpetrator is the heroine, Florre, and I am the villainess, Dahlia, who’s going to die horribly.

“They said you are a villain with neither blood nor tears, but unlike the rumors, you often shed tears.”

“Your Highness must believe all the nonsense the idiots are talking about, huh?”

Grand Duke of Cervian, the half brother of the Male lead and who will be punished for treason afterwards. He approached me. I can’t lose the man who will be my greatest ally.

“Your Highness, would you marry me?”

“Now…… what did you say?”

“And take revenge together.”

A similar situation, a fixed ending. The heroine is not the only one who knows the ending of the novel. I took a long and arduous path of revenge.

Who Made Me A Princess

The beautiful Athanasia was killed at the hands of her own biological father, Claude de Alger Obelia, the cold-blooded emperor! It’s just a silly bedtime story… until one woman wakes up to suddenly find she’s become that unfortunate princess! She needs a plan to survive her doomed fate, and time is running out. Will she go with Plan A, live as quietly as possible without being noticed by the infamous emperor? Plan B, collect enough money to escape the palace? Or will she be stuck with Plan C, sweet-talking her way into her father’s good graces?!

The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

With the marriage of her prostitute mother to the Count, Aria’s status in society skyrocketed immediately. After leading a life of luxury, Aria unfairly meets death because of her sister Mielle’s schemes. And right before she dies, she sees an hourglass fall as if it were a fantasy. And just like that, she was miraculously brought back to the past.

“I want to become a very elegant person, just like my sister, Mielle.”

In order to face the villainess, she must become an even more wicked villainess. This was the new path Aria chose to take revenge on Mielle who murdered both her and her mother.

The Evil Lady's Hero

Junipe Magnolia, a villainess friend of the heroine in this novel called Rael Cania.

The Junipe inside the novel has always loved the male lead, Iseed. To the point where she harassed Rael out of jealousy because she's loved by Iseed.

And thus, Junipe is destinied to die in the hands of the male lead of this novel.

But one day.

"Why did I become Junipe?!"

But let's think about it, it's still one year away from the time Junipe is going to get killed by Iseed. So, I have to meet Iseed and Rael first, I'll be able to find a way out of my death if I do so.

Yeah, let's meet them first!

But, this man is just so tender-hearted and kind. Would Junipe be able to escape from this man?!

I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away

God gave me a chance to relive my life. Before the rebirth, I had been used for the past 400 years as the empire's sword. And so, I swore to destroy the empire. I found the young prince of the country and became his teacher. I taught him how to become a tyrant and asked for the country.

"I will do the lady's will."

He conquered the whole empire for me, and I ran away.

"I came to take you, Charlize Ronan." Dylan became a perfect tyrant and searched the entire empire for me.

"You tamed me, so why did you run away?"

Untouchable Lady

“Please, Hilise. Please die in place of Gabrielle.” My always dignified brother begged me for the first time. He wants me to die for our stepsister, whom we don't even share a drop of blood with. “For the first and last time, I ask you this.” I've always been miserable, and there is no exception this time. The seventh time that I was betrayed and killed, I was completely free of lingering feelings. “I'm glad that you're a scumbag until the end.” I won't be swayed by love anymore. It's my turn to abandon them first.

I’ll Live On As A Villainess

I reincarnated as the villainess in a book!

The one who dared to commit attempted murder on the heroine is the owner of this body?

Let's just live in a quiet place where we have fun and eat! That's what I thought for a while.

It was so, so, so cold here in the north, where I was kicked out as a punishment.

Before I froze to death, I called the Great Demon of Fire and set fire to the fireplace but...

Why isn't he going back? If you've done the job, shouldn't you go back?!

I was flustered to find out that I had signed a life contract with a demon just to start a fire but to think that I'd be responsible for relieving his desires!

The bickering romance between a big puppy demon and a small villainess lady!

It Looks Like I’Ve Fallen Into The World Of A Reverse Harem Game

When I opened my eyes, I was in a different world. I had become the game’s villainous princess who was feared by all. Not to mention… Completely naked men I didn’t even know were approaching me left and right! “Are you cold? Shall I warm you up with a hug?” “Oh? Have you not had enough yet?” Seriously, what’s up with this situation? And just how the hell am I going to get out of this freaking game?!

Father, I Don't Want to Get Married!

I’m Jubelian? The daughter of the duke and the villainess of this novel?

I managed to avoid my death with some previous knowledge about my life, as this was my second time at it. Now, I should be able to live a peaceful life!

“I’m not going to marry a man unless he has everything. I want the most wealthy, famous, and competent man there is.”

I dreamt of a glamorous life as the daughter of the duke, but my father tells me the Crown Prince who is known to be a lunatic is to be my husband! As an extraordinary measure, I couldn’t help but start a contract relationship. That is, with a handsome side character that looks better than the main one.

“Why are you trying to avoid being engaged to the prince?”

“He’s scary. I heard that he even kills his own entourage if he doesn’t like them.”

A few days later, the prince sent a terrible letter to me.

“I will not kill you.”

Oh no, did I set up another death trap for myself?

Like A Wind On A Dry Branch

"Hi, You."

Count Casarius fell victim to a plague and died suddenly, leaving behind a will stating that Rietta, his beautiful young widow of the manor, whom he tried to use as a concubine, be buried alive alongside him. Just before Rietta is buried, Archduke Axias, rumored to be a cruel tyrant, arrives at the funeral to collect the enormous debt Count Casarius still owes him.

“Everyone here seems to feel sorry for her, and I still have a debt to collect from Casarius… If I take her instead of debt, I think all of you here should be happy," he smiled.

"Hello, Temptress."

Everything was a Mistake

Roa Valrose reincarnated as villainess in the book. In order to avoid the fate of being burned at the stake, she approaches the hero, Nocton Edgar.

It hurts every time she gets closer to him. Nevertheless, for her survival, she does everything he wants her to do.

“Come again, Valrose.”

The mysterious Nocton unexpectedly sought her out every day.

Then one day, her friend for 10 years says something unknown to her.

“Actually, I have a dream. The Duke of Edgar is a terrible villain!”

He is not the hero, but the villain?

As soon as she realized that she had misinterpreted the role, she decided to get away from Nocton.

“Let’s not meet anymore.”

But the villain’s reaction was strange.

“Don’t go. You’ve always been special to me.”

She was suspicious of his sudden change of attitude.

Will she able to get rid of Nocton safely?

I Became the Tyrant's Secretary

I became the secretary of a tyrant in place of my clumsy brother to survive.

But I have so much potential for it. I’m so darn good at my job. Because I served the tyrant so well, ‘Everyone has a happy ending’.

Well then, shall I quit being a secretary and live a leisurely life now?

“Rosaline, tell me what you want.” He asked as he stepped down from his chair.

“I want to quit.”

His eyebrows twitched slightly.

“Do you want to die?”

Your highness, you never hold on to people who want to leave, so why’re you being like this to me?

Seduce the Villainess Father

After being in a bus crash, I woke up to the world of my favourite web novel.

Not only that, It was before the protagonists were born, to their parents’ world!

To stop the incoming multiple bad events.

I tried to prevent the kidnapping of the sister who is pregnant with the female lead!

But I got kidnapped instead?!

It's depressing to be kidnapped, but my body couldn't handle the mana and became a sunfish-like state

But... if I am next to the emperor who kidnapped me, my body becomes normal!

Right! The way to save that man from marrying a witch and getting killed by his son, and for someone who is vulnerable to mana such as myself to live, is for us to get married!

The Villains Savior

Set on a path to tragedy and misfortune from a young age, Aseph Randell is doomed to die a villain. That is, until the mysterious Elzay Tiathe appears in his life with a promise: "I can save you." After having vivid visions of him for so long, can Elzay untangle the twisted fate tied to Aseph... or will they both be dragged down together?

Contemporary Manhwa/Manga:

Night Crying Crow

This woman; who is she?

If something was action, it'd be action. If something was romance, it’d be romance. The A-list actor Cheon Woo Kang, who's great at every (genre), had his heart stolen away by an unknown woman who’d broken into his house!

“We'll meet again.~"

Woo Kang contracted an over imaginative illness as he drew the woman, whose name he didn't even know. In front of Woo Kang, she reappeared as the police officer Park Tae... Could the shadow of the crisis that appeared in front of them be a coincidence?

Raise wa Tanin ga Ii

Yoshino Somei would have been a normal high-schooler if not for the fact that she is the granddaughter of the leader of the Osaka-based Somei Group, the Kansai region's largest yakuza organization. One day, Yoshino hurries home after hearing of the news about the unification of Kansai and Kanto's biggest syndicates, the Somei and the Miyama groups. This, according to the article, will result in a marriage of the leaders' grandchildren—one of whom is Yoshino herself! Despite her best efforts to annul the arrangement, Yoshino has to go to Tokyo to visit her fiancé, Kirishima Miyama, who is unexpectedly nice and charming.

During their first meeting, Yoshino is swept up in various events and becomes unable to refuse moving to Tokyo, which is why, half a year later, she now lives with the Miyama group. At school, she soon realizes that Kirishima is very popular, so her relationship with him garners the hate of his fangirls and subsequently results in bullying. To make matters worse, Kirishima could not be further away from her prince charming since he, after all, was born to be a yakuza member.

Raise wa Tanin ga Ii follows Yoshino and her new life in Tokyo that is filled with nothing but troubles connected to the underworld. However, though she wishes to be as far from it as possible, this isn't Yoshino's first time dealing with the world of the Yakuza...

Positively Yours

To Hee-won’s dismay, the BFF she crushed on and her other BFF are now dating! Seriously bummed, Hee-won decides to go wild just one time, and find solace with a handsome stranger. A very satisfying one night affair has now turned into more — she’s pregnant! Fate brings them together again, and now the regimented Doo-joon is determined to do the right thing and marry her. But they’re basically strangers! Except... their bodies have been very intimately acquainted. What’s this mother-to-be to do?

True Beauty

After binge-watching beauty videos online, a shy comic book fan masters the art of makeup and sees her social standing skyrocket as she becomes her school’s prettiest pretty girl overnight. But will her elite status be short-lived? How long can she keep her real self a secret? And what about that cute boy who knows her secret?

Cheese In the Trap

Hong Sul is a ordinary college student. Yoo Jung is the school's most popular upperclass man. He's good looking, rich, smart, and even nice. However, Hong Sul thinks there's more to Yoo Jung than what meets the eye…

SPY x FAMILY

The master spy codenamed has spent his days on undercover missions, all for the dream of a better world. But one day, he receives a particularly difficult new order from command. For his mission, he must form a temporary family and start a new life?! A Spy/Action/Comedy about a one-of-a-kind family!

Doppio Senso (18+)

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about a guy.”

KyungHyun stopped in the middle of a deep kiss and sighed. His lips began to form a smile, but his fierce glare said otherwise. Possessiveness and jealousy spread across his sculpted face.

“Will you tell me his name?”

His easygoing and languid voice reached her ears.

“Why?”

“So that I can shoot him down.”

[hualian-blessing]

why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc

if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!

remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.

as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.

now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.

heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:

1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”

heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 

take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.

2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”

sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 

also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.

3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”

utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.

like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.

4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.

(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.

if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)

you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.

what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.

edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.

ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!

just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!

when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.

[potteresque-ire]

Hi I posted an ask regarding your view point on GGDD's safety by people shipping them openly by bus designs, digital hoardings in their country and various other ways. I am not sure if you have already replied because I can't seem to find it. If not, please notify in case you would be interested in posting, there is no pressure or complaints if the answer is not affirmative. Also, I am hoping to read your piece on current issue DD is facing in relation to Nike. I am sure a lot of people enjoy your straight, detailed and analytical thought process and information presentation. A lot of people especially ifans needs to understand the perspective and position an actor or any national level influencer/celebrity is in when they are a citizen of totalitarian regime.

I would love to read, if you decide to write.

Thank you for your blog. It is highly appreciated and welcomed.

Hello Anon! I sincerely apologise ~ my ask box has been very full, and I answer based on time availability (which isn’t much) and “urgency” of the matter (for example, the recent post on Dangai/WoH skipped the line because it’s current). My whim too, occasionally and admittedly; sometimes I’d like to take a breather and talk about something a little more fannish and fun (like window cleaning robots!) Above all, I prefer giving delayed but responsible, or even no answers over irresponsible ones, given some of the subject matter I touch upon. I’ll ... probably have to write up an ask box policy at some point.

Now, my thoughts about Dd’s current situation ... or maybe, my thoughts about the things around it ...

I should explain where my highly disorganised thoughts this time come from first. I’m a Hong Konger by birth, and I grew up at a time when it was still conventional for Hong Kongers to refer themselves as Chinese, following the tradition of referring to the (believed) origin of one’s paternal family as our own origin. I’ve never, however, sworn allegiance to the Chinese government; the two citizenships I’ve ever held are 1) United Kingdom (Hong Kong was still a British crown colony when I was there), and 2) United States.

The distinction between China, the country, and Chinese government, as the country’s rulership, has therefore always been clear to me. You can love, feel a bond with the country, its people and culture and its 5,000 year old history, without having feeling anything with its 71 years-young government with foreign (soviet) roots. To quote Hamilton: Oceans rise, empires fall, and just the central plains of China alone went through a total of 13 recorded dynasties, during which its border waxed and waned, often splitting what is now Chinese territory into multiple countries under different rulership that sometimes split along ethnic lines—China, in that sense, isn’t even historically a country as we define one today; it’s a piece of land in East Asia where different countries have taken over, risen and fallen. And the major ethnic group, Han, which also includes the vast majority of the current political elite, wasn’t always in control. The Yuan dynasty (1271–1368) was famously built by Mongolians; the Qing dynasty (1636–1912), Manchurians. Beijing, the current capital of China, began its illustrious history as The Capital City for the non-Han based, north-of-central-plain dynasties of Liao and Jin. Liao people were believed to be either Mongolic or Tungusic. Jin people were Tungusic, and would eventually become Manchurians. Xinjiang (新疆), meanwhile, was only under the influence of the ancient Chinese empires sporadically, and its formal conquest / incorporation by a Chinese dynasty didn’t happen until ~ 1760, and by the (Manchurian) Qing dynasty. Its late incorporation is also reflected in its name that means, literally, “New Territory”.

What does this all mean? It means: 1) Loving China =/= loving the Chinese Communist Party;  2) Chinese culture =/= Han culture; especially the Han culture infused with “Core Socialist Values” as defined by the Chinese Communist Party; 3) X dynasty’s territory (where X = one of the ancient Chinese dynasties) =/= What has to be People Republic of China’s territory.

And by writing down these three =/=, which I’d argue are simply conclusions from historical facts and logic, I’ve committed an act of subversion in the eyes of the current Chinese government. Remove the “/” in “=/=“, and you’ve got three of the most important talking points of Chinese propaganda.

The sacred, un-violatable rules the Chinese government tells its people.

Why do I mention them? Because the scrutiny, the attack on Dd read familiar to me, and is probably familiar too to all those who’ve kept even a brief eye on Hong Kong and Taiwanese entertainers who work in China. When a topic that violates one of these propaganda points makes news (for example, the HK protest, Hong Kong/Taiwan Independence), entertainers from Hong Kong / Taiwan—anyone who’ve achieved name recognition—are often placed under immediate scrutiny by Chinese netizens to see whether and when they’ll confirm their loyalty towards the Chinese government. The argument is that only those who display absolute loyalty to the Chinese government deserves to earn China’s money, and the main motivation behind this scrutiny, in this case, is mistrust: Hong Kong, after all, is crawling with British loyalists and rioters according to Chinese propaganda, with separatists who’re conspiring with foreign governments to overthrow the Chinese government; the democratic island nation of Taiwan, meanwhile, is supposedly a rogue child who has escaped its mother (China) ’s arms for the past 70+ years—the child who, by the way, shall be brought to their knees (along with into their mother’s arms) by military intervention. Both places, in other words, are serial violators of =/= 1) and 3), and not to be trusted. If their entertainers fail to affirm their loyalty towards the Chinese government, or if the timing of their patriotic display is perceived as off, vicious accusations—similar to those Dd has endured—will fly, and calls for boycott begin. 

Here’s a related observation, while I’m at it ... no one in c-ent is really allowed to keep their political views quiet, even if they’re not particularly well-known. No one can say, politics isn’t for me, it’s too ugly/too complicated/doesn’t fit my image and shove it under the proverbial carpet. Under an authoritarian government, control is exerted via politics, via propaganda that seeps into day-to-day language. It’s an oil slick that taints and swims in even the smallest crevice of life—there’s no where to hide.

And Dd is far more famous than almost all of these HK and Taiwan based entertainers. 表態 — a public announcement of his stance — is the only option left for him when he becomes the centre of a sensitive political issue such as this one. And there’s really only one stance he can take.

In that sense, what happened to Dd isn’t something I’m too worried about—this kind of attack under the guise of a “loyalty check” isn’t new; and the motivation behind the scrutiny of Dd is the safer to-take-down-his-career rather than political mistrust. I believe this storm shall pass soon, as long as his team doesn’t make an unexpected, big mistake. His non-fan fellow country people will probably view him with a more positive light as well: he walked the walk and did what he believed is patriotic — breaking a contract like this is no lip service when in China, performative patriotism is often lip service — reportedly even among the top Chinese Communist Party officials.

If I must find more defence for his stance ... please forgive me, Anon, but I don’t have much more to say than what I said last night, what I said before about China’s access to information—

—because, admittedly, following, talking about this incident is difficult for the Hong Konger in me, even if I’ve expected this kind of incidents from the moment I joined this fandom, even if I’ve expected, as I’ve learned from RL experience, that most people I adore in China will at some point support causes that I deeply disagree with. The online patriotic rally by c-motors and c-turtles under the associated Weibo tag, while impressive and good for Dd, is nonetheless heartbreaking/frightening for me to watch. Why? Because I know this can easily turn into a call to persecute all Hong Kongers involved in the democracy movements sometime in the future. Because I know the rally will probably be as impressive if this has been a call to persecute all Hong Kongers involved in the democracy movements. Frankly, I stopped thinking about Nike as I scrolled through the posts — I was thinking about the now impossibly wide gulf that separates most Chinese and a Hong Konger like myself; I was thinking about why a Gg / Dd performance can trend on Twitter in 10+ countries all over the world but makes almost no noise in Hong Kong or Taiwan, places that should’ve most easily fallen in love with Gg / Dd with their closeness in language and customs. 

As it turns out, the closeness has only driven HK and Taiwan away; the closeness only brings them more insight of the beast—the government that looms over, cast a long shadow over everything that lives under it, including Gg and Dd.

I was reminded of the fact that many young Hong Kongers probably see me as a traitor just for being a turtle — young Hong Kongers who are n>1 generation immigrants from China, who never spend years reconciling the conflicting viewpoints, the even more conflicting emotions when it comes to this ... almost irreconcilable difference now in political beliefs north and south of the China-HK border. Unlike the older generations who often have immigrants/refugees from China for immediate, un-severable family, who often don’t have the option to walk away from the conflicts, to simply point to the other side and call it evil.

And here are my even-more-conflicting emotions: 

While, over the years, I’ve learned to harbour no ill feelings to the vast majority of supporters of pro-CCP causes—I reserve blame for those who conceal the truth, who’re involved in its policy making, or people who live outside the Firewall and should know better (such as every HK entertainer who’ve expressed support)—I’ve also learned, over the same years, to be fully, painfully aware that every endorsement is still an endorsement for the regime to carry on its ways, and the damage is real, is significant even if the endorsers may not know about the true nature of their endorsements. 

A simple thought experiment: the sheer size of China’s population means it can easily control the narrative on English-speaking social media. The Chinese government already has a history of mobilising its people to scale the Great Firewall and spread its propaganda on, for example, Twitter. It has also mobilised fan circles for propaganda purpose. Again, as a thought experiment *only* (ie, SJD!), imagine the Chinese government mobilising Dd’s Weibo supertopic fans to spread misinformation about Xinjiang.

Dd’s supertopic has 5+ million members—all savvy social media users and many skilled in the art of comment control (a collective effort, performed by fans to bury critiques/dissent on message boards); the total number of Uyghurs in Xinjiang is ~12 million, but their communications are heavily scrutinised and they can’t really talk. Just for the sake of argument, we’ll add the ~ 70% pro-democracy HK population to Uyghur’s side: that’s another 5 million, but most of them aren’t good at raging a battle on social media.

Which side will control the narrative in the end?

And so: I understand why Dd’s statement is what it is. I don’t fault him for making it. Still, I can’t in good conscience say to anyone, myself included, that the statement is a personal opinion and doesn’t matter. It matters a lot. His announcement is another stab to the Uyghurs, and the knife is sharp because of Dd’s social influence.

(Today, I saw Dd’s name for the first time in a Hong Kong pro-democracy online news site.)

The statement carried this sentence:

國家尊嚴不容侵犯，堅決維護祖國利益 The dignity of the country is not to be violated; the interest of our motherland is to be resolutely defended. Firstly: it’s character-for-character propaganda language. Secondly: even if we do not consider the labor camps, this is the condition in Xinjiang’s city of Urumqi. Where’s the dignity of the people who’re living there and who’s preventing that from being violated? The interest of the motherland—what kind of motherland answers an allegation of human rights violation with “interest” (利=profit, advantage; 益=benefit)? What kind of motherland has “protects its interest” being synonymous with surveillance and abuse of its own people?

I have a motherland, but it’s not the one in this narrative.

The issues of Xinjiang and the Uyghurs have also become even closer to Hong Kongers since 2019, when the fates of Hong Kongers and the Uyghurs became intricately tied—as dual examples of Chinese government’s human rights violations and indeed, these two populations who previously had very little in common have shown solidarity with each other against all odds. Their connection being this one simple, awful fact: both having what they value most stripped away by the same government—the traditions, religion and culture for the Uyghurs, the promised freedoms and hopes for democracy for Hong Kongers. As an online meme goes: “Today’s Xinjiang; Tomorrow’s Hong Kong” — expressing the fear that Hong Kongers may soon be subjected to the same surveillance as the Uyghurs today, for the same reason of having put up a fight against who they saw as their oppressors (this article offers an objective summary of what led to the 2009 clash between the Uyghurs and the Chinese government, which precipitated the former’s treatment as will-be terrorists today)(Note the role the US played in this.). 

As such, I cannot look away from Xinjiang. As such, I cannot look at our two beautiful stars, Gg and Dd, without also seeing the flag with its blood red looming behind with its own five stars—the biggest of them symbolising the Chinese Communist Party.

How do I reconcile all the feelings? As I said, it’s a constant work-in-progress, possibly a lifelong one. Re: Gg and Dd, that’s what I tell myself at the moment: that my being an i-turtle shall not sway my view or silence me on any sociopolitical issues, that my being a fan of anything, anyone shall not mean any other human life is suddenly worth less to me, or its suffering, something I shall suddenly look away from. The moment this becomes true—that I find myself depreciating human lives, or ignoring the pain of others for the sake of my fannish pursuits—that’s when I must leave my fan identity until I find my discipline (I do understand the lure of a happy fandom bubble, and I’m far from immune to it). I’m a person before I’m a fan.

These are the rules of my world.

我的世界不退讓。

[krreader]

seven sins | chapter eight.

pairing: bts x reader ; kim namjoon x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; historical!au ; princes!bts ; concubine!reader ; abuse ; mentions of sex genre: fluff ; angst word count: 1.2k+ previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7

summary: even in times such as yours, you still led a privileged life with nothing to ask for. that is until first your father, then your mother died and you were left to care for your two younger sisters. the position for royal physician seemed to be open and with your father having been a general and your mother having been a maid for the queen, you thought you might be able to get it.. little did you know that your visit to the palace would put a completely different offer on the table.

a/n: we hate the queen in this house, but we love prince namjoon <3

You were having breakfast on your own today, or at least, that's what you thought you would have. Because you couldn't even sit down before a handful of guards walked into the hall where all the concubines were eating.

“The queen has ordered us to take you to the physician to see who of you is with child.”

For some reason, some of them were excited at that, while you were considering if you could maybe get out of this one somehow.

The ones who were excited probably expected to be with child. The ones that looked disappointed felt like it hadn't worked yet... the one that looked scared, you, was the one that knew she wasn't and wouldn't be anytime soon.

“You too,” a guard had approached you when you hadn't gotten up.

“Only Prince Seokjin is supposed to get me with child and I haven't had the chance to spend time with him yet,” you tried, but the guard wasn't having any of it.

“The queen specifically asked for you. So come with us, please.”

Of course, she did.

So you really didn't have a choice here. But at least you had an excuse as to why you weren’t with child yet, but the queen would still be suspicious once the physician confirmed it.

Nevertheless, the moment you were in your designated room, you also saw this as an opportunity to get one step further on your mission, the main reason you were here, after all. Though, it unfortunately became less of a priority these days. And it shouldn’t be like that.. at all. 

As the physician was getting ready, you asked: “So... I heard the position for royal physician hasn't been taken yet. Will you try to get it?”

The woman chuckled, “I'm just a regular physician, dear, and an old one at that. And besides, I heard the king is very... selective.”

That was good, that meant that it would take him some more time to make a decision. Hopefully enough for you to finally present your case.

“Have you felt any nausea lately?” the woman asked with a kind smile, ripping you out of your thoughts.

“Uh.. no. But I...- I mean, the princes, have been very careful with me, since Prince Seokjin is supposed to be the father of my children.”

The woman gently pushed your legs apart and due to your own knowledge in this field, you didn't even flinch.

“None of them have..-”

“No,” you quickly interrupted. Maybe a little too quickly, because she instantly looked up at you with a raised eyebrow. Still, she didn't respond to that, thankfully, “They listen to their mother very well.”

“They should,” the queen hadn't announced her entrance and you were quick to close your legs again, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and vulnerable, “Oh, please. It's not like I haven't seen what's down there. Continue,” the queen asked – or rather demanded – of the physician.

She looked at you apologetically, but continued with her examination.

“I need to make sure that my sons' favorite concubine is healthy and happy, after all, right?” she chuckled, but you heard the undertone. There was no humor whatsoever. Just a warning, “Tell me, dear physician, how is the girl? Is she with child?”

“Well,” the healer pulled her hand back and closed your legs together, “She told me that your sons have been careful with her. It seems like they all did very well. I don't think she's with child.”

The queen looked at her for a very long time, then she started smiling and looked at you, “I'm sure that's the reason. My sons are very responsible, after all.”

She knew that they weren’t, you could tell.

You wanted to get out of here so desperately, with each passing moment, you felt more anxious, but the queen didn't seem like she wanted to leave. In fact, the way she looked at the physician made it obvious that she wanted her to leave, so that she'd get to have a moment alone with you.

Your pleading eyes didn't help, the physician left you and the queen after bowing deeply.

“You seem to forget that I am a woman too, my dear. I know you're lying to me,” she walked up to you, squatting down so that she could put her hand on your thigh, making you incredibly uncomfortable, “But I trust my healer. That means I have reason to believe that you're purposefully not getting pregnant.”

“No, I told you that..-”

“Oh please,” she snorted and instantly grabbed your thigh tighter, making you gasp, “Jimin has bragged to all of his brothers... and what about Taehyung? You think I'd believe that he'd just take you to his favorite spot and not spill his seed inside you? They're both possessive of you. Neither of them would let the chance slide to impregnate you themselves and brag to their brothers that they got you with child.”

“You're hurting me,” you tried to push her hand away, but she just put her other hand over your mouth.

“I will have you...-” but the moment she wanted to say killed, and you knew that's what she wanted to say, Namjoon walked into the room.

“I believe that is enough, mother.”

“Namjoon, my dear,” she let out a laugh that was supposed to make it better, instantly got up and approached him. She wanted to touch his cheek, but Namjoon caught her hand and stopped her, though a smile was still on his face. A smile that didn’t reach his eyes at all.

“I think it'd be best for you to leave right now. I would hate to tell my father about you abusing our favorite concubine.”

Despite you only seeing her back, you could tell how angry she was becoming. Nevertheless, she knew her place and that Prince Namjoon was one of the few princes that you needed to have immense respect of. This man could destroy your entire life in less than five seconds and she knew that.

She turned her head and looked at you with her evil eyes one last time, then she left.

Namjoon made sure that she was fully gone, before he closed the door behind him.

His back still turned to you, he began: “Forgive the queen. She often forgets her place in this palace.”

You couldn't answer, your entire body was beginning to feel the aftermath of what had just happened and your breathing became uneven.

However, what you thought would be a panic attack didn't get that far, because Namjoon placed a blanket over your lap, then he sat down next to you and smiled. This time, wholeheartedly.

“Nothing will happen to you here. You're probably the safest concubine in the country, you know?”

You gulped down hard and looked at him with wide eyes, not quite believing him.

“I have a feeling that more than one of my brothers would start a war for you. Which is very dangerous and I don't like this one bit, but I don't want to see you get hurt either.”

“You don't know me, though,” you whispered.

“True,” he chuckled, “Haven't gotten that chance yet. I'm a good big brother and let them have their fun first. And besides... I'm interested in way more than sleeping with you.”

Straight-forward and honest. Not the worst qualities.

You took a deep breath and sat up, straightening your back, “Then what are you interested in, my prince?”

Namjoon cocked his head to the side and smirked, “I know you've been taking herbs to not get pregnant.”

...what?

[cosmicpines]

code july day 1 - future

au where jeremie's anti-xana program didn't work, taking place half a year after.

“Do’ya think we should start future-proofing our whole situation?” Odd was the first one to speak out loud in at least a half an hour, his voice echoing around the computer lab.

It was late. Not just “it’s a school night, we should turn off the Playstation” late, but “sunrise is in an hour” late. Ulrich, Jeremie, and Aelita were crowded on the couch – a fairly new addition to the lab that William and Odd had dragged over a mile to the factory after finding it on the street, a several-hour long affair that left them both sore for a week – blearily staring at chunky school-loaned laptop screens with piles of overdue library books on the floor in front of them. Odd and William were across the room, hunched over an oversized posterboard, surrounded by an accoutrement of Odd’s art supplies and printed out sheets of paper. What was keeping them up was potentially world-ending, but not in the usual way; instead of an evil AI, it was a history project due at 10 AM.

It wasn’t entirely their fault they didn’t start earlier – saving the world was a full-time job, afterall – but it’s not like they could give an excuse to Mr. Fumet that he would have believed. As the clock ticked over to 4, the prospect of having to pull the trigger on a return trip to finish loomed over them. They had already done it once, blearily uploading PowerPoint slides to the supercomputer to save them, giving Yumi an apologetic phone call in the morning. She was used to the disorienting resets at this point, having done them for half a year after graduating and moving across the country, but they usually texted ahead of time to warn her. She was sympathetic over the phone – she always was – but she was definitely irritated about having to retake an exam. They didn’t want to put her through that again and, besides, they couldn’t exactly keep the poster board from getting erased to time.

“Future-proofing the fact half of us might fail history?” Ulrich grumbled in response from across the room, leaning against the armrest of the couch. His eyes were glazed over in a stupor as he clicked idly around on the screen.

“Ulrich, are you done with your slides yet?” Aelita spat at him, now that the silent spell was broken, “I want to start stitching them together.”

“Uh… no.” Ulrich glanced at her, subtly turning his screen away from her piercing gaze, “Gimme ten more minutes? I’m almost there.”

Aelita clicked her tongue, probably remembering the last promise of the slides “in ten minutes.” She turned to her left and nudged Jeremie, “How about you – oh my god, Jeremie, can you focus?”

“Huh?” He looked up, and guiltly alt-tabbed back to a blank PowerPoint slide. “Sorry, I was just… I had a breakthrough about the bug in the Skid and I was…” He trailed off under her glare, “Sorry.”

Aelita clutched the side of her head, groaning. “Is it too late to go back to living on Lyoko where I don’t have to care about World War I and don’t need sleep?”

“Me too, thanks.” William muttered at Odd’s side, aggressively erasing a sentence on the poster, “Being XANA’s slave was less painful than this.”

He let out a bitter laugh, then raised his head, half smirk fading at the frozen-in-terror looks on his friend’s faces, “Sorry. Too soon?”

Odd, as he so often did, interrupted the awkward silence before people could make it worse, “Future-proofing us, is what I meant. Thanks for asking!” Nobody humored him as the typing across the room started back up and William started writing again, “Look, I’m just saying; we’re not getting any younger.” He brandished a red marker, filling in bubble letters on the top of the poster, “Yumi graduated. We’ve only got a semester left at Kadic –,”

“Could just all repeat a year like I did.” William grimaced. “And might again.”

Ulrich snorted, “Odd and I are probably on track for that.”

“Cheers,” William said, raising his pencil like a glass, without looking up, “Join the failure club.”

“BUT,” Odd interrupted, “Assuming we don’t! Because this presentation is going to be incredible,” That one earned a snort from everyone in the room (which was fair), “We’ll need someone who can do our jobs if we have to leave the good fight. Lyoko Warriors, the Next Generation! Kadic’s Next Top Lyoko Warriors!” He chuckled at himself, standing up, “We should put an ad in the paper: ‘Want a challenging, world-altering job? Come down to the abandoned factory!’” He hummed to himself, tapping his chin, “Our criteria would have to be strict. Can you imagine getting someone like, I dunno, Johnny? So, Johnny. Please, tell me: what’s your greatest fear? Giant crabs, you say? Why yes, that’s both oddly specific and also a dealbreaker. Next!”

Odd looked up, laughing, waiting for his friends to join in – Ulrich telling him he was being dumb, Aelita offering some other students and joking with him about their interviews, William making a snide remark about how he didn’t get an interview, a silent, but appreciative smirk from Jeremie – but got nothing. Jeremie’s head was buried in his laptop, and Aelita was – Aelita was glaring at him?

“What?” He asked her, but she said nothing, just raised an eyebrow in a you know what’s wrong look. Odd clearly didn’t, and turned to Ulrich for a clue, but Ulrich wasn’t giving him anything; he was just back to sulking, staring at his laptop. Odd ran through what he said again in his head, trying to find the offending phrase, when William punched him in the leg. “Hey –,” Odd started, ready to give a snappy retort, before seeing William was urgently tapping at the poster, where he’d just written something. Odd crouched down to read it.

you’re upsetting jeremie.

Odd glanced back at Einstein across the room, whose face was impassive, just typing away. Looking closer, though, he could see Jeremie had all the appearances of someone trying valiantly to pretend they weren’t upset – hunched shoulders, scrunched up face, not a single glance away from the screen. Aelita had stopped glaring to put a hand on Jeremie’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

Ugh. Odd sighed, wondering if he would have to apologize for just trying to lighten the mood. How was anything he said upsetting to Jeremie? He reached over for a pencil to respond to William, scribbling down on the poster.

Can’t he take a joke?

idk. Guess he thinks you’re blaming him.

Blaming him?? For what???? bro when did I even say anything like that??

you didn’t. don’t bro me bro. not my fault

Odd underlined his first bro, giving William a smile. William rolled his eyes before rubbing out their conversation with an eraser. Odd turned back to his coloring job and took a breath, surprised to see it come in shaky. It’s not your fault he’s upset, he thought to himself, pulling the cap off his marker. It’s fine. He leaned over to finish his coloring before noticing his hands were shaking. He clenched them, angrily. It wasn’t his fault Jeremie was upset. He was fine. Not his fault if Jeremie wanted to over-react. He’ll get over it and… where were the scissors?

He dug around their supplies for them, then, picking up a pile of pictures of historic figures, streaked from the bad library printer, took a pair of trembling scissors to extracting them. They were nearly done. One more section and they’d be done. One more and they could go to bed and Jeremie would get over whatever he was upset about and it was fine and it would all go away and it was fine it wasn’t his fault and –

“I’m working as hard as I can,” Odd felt a bit in his stomach open up as Jeremie spoke in a quiet, bitter voice. Odd stared pointedly down at the poster, blinking rapidly to try and assuage the pressure building behind his eyes, “I know we screwed up by not finishing before Yumi graduated, okay? I’m just… It’s a lot to figure out and I’m trying?! Is that not enough for – No. No, I know it’s not enough – I know I’m keeping us from having a normal life and it’s my fault William had to repeat a year and… and I –,” Jeremie’s breath caught, and Odd finally dared to turn his eyes to him, seeing his friend aggressively rubbing his eyes under his glasses, “I – I don’t mean to – look! It’s hard, alright?! It’s hard and I – I’m just so tired all the time and I’m sorry that we’re still awake for this too and that I –,” His voice finally broke as he started crying in earnest, his fist coming down on the side of the couch. Odd wanted to turn back to his work and brush it off, but the guilt clenching his stomach wasn’t letting go.

Hesitantly, Aelita put her hand on his shoulder again, “Jeremie…” but he shook it off again, turning away from her. She persisted. “It’s not your fault. We know you’re working –,”

“And it’s not enough! I’ve been working at this for years and I just I can’t come up with anything to defeat XANA –,”

“You had a lot of other things you needed to do first.”

He didn’t mean to, Odd was sure, but Ulrich’s eyes flickered to William for just a moment, and William’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, are we doing this now?” William grumbled, dropping his pencil. “Jeremie, you’re fine. Look, I’m sorry. Again. You don’t think I don’t regret every moment that I didn’t listen like a fucking idiot –” Jeremie, despite being wracked with tears, winced at the swear, earning a brief hint of a smile from Odd, “ – and got myself captured? Who then was a thorn in your asses for months? No. I get it. You’d probably be rid of XANA already if it wasn’t for me; you’ve made that crystal clear.”

“That’s not what I –,” Aelita glared at him, “You of all people should understand that I would never blame you for being trapped on Lyoko.”

“It’s not you that is. It’s him.” He jerked his thumb at Ulrich, who glared back at him.

“I’m not,” Ulrich muttered, “Cut it out.”

“Oh yeah? What did that look mean then, huh?”

“I didn’t –,”

“You blame me, and we all know it. You’re just butt-hurt over Yumi still, even though you had plenty of chances –,”

“Okay, that’s it.” Ulrich sat up straighter, “Maybe you’re still using Yumi as a scapegoat in all our arguments, but I’m done with that. Maybe I was an ass to you before because of her, but I don’t blame you for XANA, William. I never have. I was over it before you even joined,” He scowled at the ground, Jeremie’s crying filling the brief silence. “It was probably my fault you got captured in the first place. I wasn’t there because I had to talk to my stupid Dad and it was my job to tell Odd and I didn’t make sure – hell, even before that! Who was it that couldn’t protect Aelita back when XANA escaped from the supercomputer in the first place? If she hadn’t been alone, the Scyphozoa wouldn’t have gotten her, and XANA wouldn’t have escaped, and we would have been done.”

“Come on,” Aelita crossed her arms, turning away from Jeremie to the boy on her other side, “You’re being ridiculous. Half of that isn’t your fault.”

Odd wanted to chime in that it was Sam’s fault she didn’t listen to Ulrich, but his voice was still missing in action, his throat tight and unresponsive.

“I should have been able to protect myself,” Aelita continued, “It wasn’t your responsibility –,”

Jeremie laughed suddenly, hurt and bitter, “Protect yourself how? You couldn’t protect yourself because I was dragging my feet on giving you a proper weapon –,”

“We’ve talked about this!” She said, “We agreed it was more worth your time to work on an antivirus!”

“For a virus that didn’t exist! If I had just double checked –,”

“Double checked what? The faulty data you were being fed? There was nothing you could have done! If you want to blame anyone, blame me. Maybe it – maybe helping me made sense at first, when things were able to be stopped at a moment’s notice. But then even when you got me to Earth it wasn’t over, and things got worse, things got more dangerous – when we realized XANA could escape? That we couldn’t just turn it off with a switch? That – that should have been it.” Her voice dropped as she took a shaky breath, “You should have just let me turn the supercomputer off.”

“You were ALWAYS worth the risk, Aelita!” Odd finally snapped, terror shooting through his heart at the broken look on her face, the implications of her words, “You… you matter to us more than anything! Look, I’m sorry for bringing this all up, alright? I thought we could just joke around about running Lyoko Warrior interviews! I didn’t mean to get everyone upset. And speaking of! Jeez! All of you are such downers on yourselves! There’s like, a billion different things that could have happened!” He held out a hand, ticking them off, “Maybe William might not have gotten captured and instead XANA got Yumi or anyone else! Maybe, I dunno, Ulrich saved Aelita temporarily but then XANA tossed him in the digital sea! Maybe Jeremie could have noticed that Aelita didn’t have a virus sooner, and XANA just made a move sooner! Maybe – maybe – maybe if you had just let Kiwi be virtualized normally and not fuse with me he would have been a great Lyoko Warrior and would have bit the Scyphozoa and killed XANA! We don’t know, alright? I’m just trying to say that – ugh, forget it! Sorry! Jeez!”

Odd rubbed at his eyes, surrendering to the frustrated and exhausted stream of tears that leaked out of them. All of them, all of this – he kept trying to play superhero, to pretend that everything was going to be alright like in the movies, but in his heart he had to admit that this was starting to feel futile. Aelita’s virus, XANA’s escape from the supercomputer, William’s capture, Jeremie’s first botched attempt at his anti-XANA program, Franz Hopper’s sacrifice, Yumi’s graduation, their failure to stop space station from falling, Jeremie’s second anti-XANA program getting stolen by the AI, and now the looming threat of their own graduation… he wanted to be joking about needing to interview new Lyoko Warriors, really, but if graduation took them away from the factory… away from each other…

A hand landed on his shoulder, he realized he didn’t need to know who it was to press his own on top of it, to squeeze it and feel loved, as more hands, more friends, found their way to his other shoulder, to his back.

“I’m sorry, Jeremie,” he said, “And everyone else. I didn’t mean to –,”

“Don’t,” came a muttered reply from Jeremie, “We’re all acting tired and stupid. I shouldn’t have yelled. I knew you didn’t mean it.”

Odd let out an exhausted laugh, rubbing his eyes of the last of the tears, looking up and seeing his friends around him, “How late is it?”

“Too late,” Ulrich replied, pulling his phone out of his pocket, “We’ve got… three hours until classes start.”

A collective groan broke the spell over the room. Odd looked under his feet to the almost-finished-poster. Silently, all of them returned to their working positions. Odd kneeled down to finish gluing down the last of the faces to the poster. As the lull of busy work started taking over his mind, William nudged him.

“Sorry, I, uh…” William looked uncharacteristically bewildered, “This must have happened while I was – did you say Kiwi fused with you?”

[panlight]

what are your thoughts on jasper? when i was super into twilight he was one of my comfort characters. bc i liked his power & how different he was from the other cullens. but i know ppl on here really dislike him (for valid reasons). i was curious what you thought of him in general?

I think it was @volturialice who had a post about this, but basically if you’re going to make an immortal character explicitly part of a historical movement that oppressed people, you have to DEAL with it. SM didn’t, she just treated Jasper being part of the Confederacy as this throwaway historical detail that wasn’t relevant to the story. She could have placed him on any side in any war; there was no reason it had to be the Confederacy, or the Civil War at all. He just had to be a military officer, as that was why Maria picked him. If you just want a Fun Historical Detail then pick one that doesn’t come with fighting on the side that sought to preserve slavery; if you do go with a confederate backstory, then you HAVE to address it. There could be a challenging, valid story in there about an immortal vampire coming to terms with the racist beliefs and actions of his past, doing the work to grow and change, making amends, etc, but we don’t get that. We don’t get anything. It’s just treated like a little throwaway factoid. I don’t think SM thought this through at all, and if you asked her why she put Jasper on this side of this war, she’d just say something like “oh I loved Gone With the Wind!” 

I’ve seen fanfic that has dealt with this in really visceral, meaningful ways (sorry, I can’t name any off the top of my head). It wasn’t in canon. And because it wasn’t, it’s valid if some people don’t want to engage with that character. 

As Jasper functions in the present day, I find him most interesting as “the vampire-y one” of the Cullens rather than as like “oh the poor thing!” angle I see sometimes. That is, I just never read him as guilt-ridden and angsty as Edward, despite him having the much darker past. Edward is Jasper lite. Jasper’s past is much more bloody and violent and horrific, with a century of brutal vampire warfare under his belt, but it’s Edward who is all “oh I’m a monster” whereas the vibe I personally got from Jasper was more that he was frustrated by how HARD it was for him to do the vegetarian thing. He didn’t like being the weak link, but it wasn’t rooted in the kind of existential angst that Edward (and to a certain degree Carlisle) has/had. I don’t think Jasper sees being a vampire as a great moral evil, it just is, like a lion or a shark or any other predator. And with the vampire wars stuff, well, he did what he had to to survive. 

For this reason I think he’s more interesting when he is just legitimately struggling with the Cullen lifestyle vs having the excuse of “oh he has to feel everyone’s thirst and that’s why he’s bad at it.” That doesn’t work in my head. Because surely that means he also felt the thirsts of the ravenous newborns in Maria’s army, and how could he be an effective lieutenant to her if he was distracted by that thirst? He said HATE was his constant companion, not thirst. He also still struggled with abstaining from human blood when he left Peter and Charlotte and wandered alone--he wasn’t feeling any thirst but his own then. I also just don’t see ‘thirst’ or ‘bloodlust’ in this sense as an emotion, so I don’t think he literally feels it or can inflict it on someone else. Thirst is a physical sensation like cold or heat or hunger. I think he DOES feel the emotions associated with thirst, so for example at the New Moon birthday, when all the Cullens get a whiff of Bella’s blood, he might have gotten a wave of shame that distracted him or something, but not, IMO, literal thirst. Likewise I think he doesn’t quite get the whole “playing house as a human family” thing, but it means a lot to Alice, so he goes along with it and indulges her, and he genuinely has grown to care about the other Cullens, but he’d be just as content living forever with just Alice. He doesn’t need the family thing the way she does, IMO.

[headcanonthings]

WinterHawk Fic Rec List

Disclaimer: None of these authors have requested to be on this list. These are all stories that I’ve read and enjoyed. Keep in mind that your taste might not match up to mine and that’s ok! Just because I’ve included it doesn’t mean you have to read it (I won’t be offended if you skip over this whole list). If you do check out a story and like it, please remember to leave kudos and/or a comment ❤

P.S. Always check out the story’s tags so you don’t get surprised by something.

Gen Fics - These stories highlight the friendship between Clint and Bucky so may feature them included in other ships i.e. Clint/Natasha or Steve/Bucky

Clint Barton’s Guide to Friends and Ceiling Vents by NoliteTimereEos (Rated T; Word Count 6,488; Features Clint/Natasha) In which Clint Barton meets a missing assassin in the vents and somehow becomes friends with him. Things don't go as bad as they could have. 

Clint and Bucky: Lost and Found by twangcat (Rated G; Word Count 2, 075; Features Steve/Bucky and Clint/Coulson)  The first time Bucky sees Clint limp into the Avengers tower pretending his ribs aren’t bruised while brushing his wild blond hair out of his eyes, Bucky smiles. When Clint immediately starts railing at Tony for blasting the guy Clint was fighting because, “I didn’t need rescuing Tony, I had him!” Bucky does a double take. 

  Learning to Say Hello by heartdesire456 (Rated M; Word Count 11,229; Features Steve/Bucky and Clint/Coulson) Clint had woken up one morning about three weeks ago (Well, Clint guessed about three. Definitely more than one. Maybe.) and stumbled down to the living room only to realize there was a guy on his couch. The guy just happened to be the Winter Soldier, who Clint knew was actually Steve’s old best friend, Bucky Barnes. Barnes had been having a staring contest with Lucky (one eye shut, to make it fair, Clint had noticed) and Clint had decided to just leave him to it and make decisions after he’d had some coffee. (In which Hawkeye befriends the Winter Soldier and discovers the Epic Love Story of Steve and Bucky nobody knows about)  Shooting Stuff Is Better With Company by WriteThroughTheNight ( Rated T; Word Count 11,636; Features Clint/Coulson and Steve/Bucky) "Natasha tells him that HYDRA is inside SHIELD (which Clint can hardly believe), and that the Winter Soldier is on the playing field. She says the latter with fear and awe, but Clint smiles, small and real, for the first time since New York." OR Clint and Bucky have been friends for years and it's to the archer that he runs after the events of DC.

WinterHawk Fics - Stories where Clint/Bucky are the main couple 

I’ll Keep you Safe Here With Me by sara_holmes (Rated M; Word Count 110,566) Yes, Clint is avoiding the other Avengers. No, he does not want to go back to New York. But then again, he didn't exactly want to be kidnapped by the Winter Soldier either. Really, he just wants to go back to bed.

(Side note: Pretty sure this is the fic that got me into WinterHawk)

Clint Barton’s Super Secret Sniper’s Club by sara_holmes (Rated T; Word Count 67,057; Other ship include Tony/Steve) Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.) "When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center." Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself.

(Side note: would recommend pretty much any WinterHawk fic by this author)

Left Foot Forward by shatteredhourglass  (Rated M; Word Count 22,307; Other ships include Pepper/Tony and Bruce/Natasha) There was an unspoken rule among the Avengers that they didn't talk about Clint's soulmark. They didn't talk about it, they didn't look at it, and they didn't bring it up. 

Falling Off the Face of the Earth by Teeelsie (Rated E; Word Count 77,500) Cap relaxes his hold, but he stays where he is, still looming over him. “Clint. The compound’s been breached,” Rogers whispers urgently, then finally sits back and lets go of him. There’s another explosion, closer this time and throwing more light. He turns his head sharply and sees Bucky Barnes hovering near the door, looking… off. Clint pushes Rogers and he finally stands up so Clint can scramble out of the bed and grab some clothes. He’s wearing only boxers because it’s fucking hot in Wakanda, and he catches Barnes’ eyes flicking across his body. Clint long ago stopped being bothered by people’s reactions to the many scars on his body – not that that many people actually see them - but that doesn’t mean he appreciates when they stare. “Like what you see?” he asks with a hard edge as he pulls on his shirt. Barnes turns his head, at least having the decency to look embarrassed for being caught staring. Rogers looks at them both impatiently and quickly switches gears. “Clint, I need you to take Bucky. Get him out of Wakanda and somewhere safe.” OR Bucky and Clint fall into each other. Bad shit happens. Then it all works out in the end.

Lost & Found by mariana_oconnor (Rated M; Word Count 89,972; Other ships include Tony/Steve and Natasha/Sam) Clint Barton’s got a bag full of stolen money and a burning desire to stay under the radar. His old friends in the Carnival will be looking for him and they sure as hell won’t be happy. In a desperate attempt to stay off their radar, he ends up in Timely, a small town so far off the beaten track he’s surprised he even found it, and waits for Barney to comes and get him. Because Barney will be coming. Clint knows he will. But there's something about the town. Maybe it's the strange wolf that watches him from the trees, and the way people finish conversations when he enters a room. Or it could be the bartender, Bucky, who decided to hate him on sight. Something’s going on in this small town, and Clint’s not sure if he’s jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Thank You for Staying with Us by Noxnthea (Rated T; Word Count 14,390) Ex-special ops, millennial motel receptionist Clint Barton is pretty sure that one of his guests is an honest-to-god assassin, but he's also pretty sure he's willing to let that slide because hot damn have you seen the dude's face? Besides, the only guy he's killed was kinda evil, so there's really no reason for Clint to do anything about his realization, right? or: five times Clint looked the other way, and one time he couldn't look away.

Historic Features by flawedamythyst (Rated T; Word Count 19,254; Other ships include Tony/Steve) “Electrical surges with no source, and music coming from the air, and that damn baseball game no one was watching, and I swear I sometimes hear voices right on the edge of hearing when I should be alone,” said Tony. “What does that sound like to you?” “Sounds like-” said Steve, then hesitated. Tony gave him a pointed look. “Sounds like a haunting,” he finished, reluctantly. “Oh no,” said Clint, in tones of mock-horror. “Ghosts!” Bucky laughed and kissed him. “Man, I hope they’re friendly.” Clint and Bucky are haunting the new apartment that Tony bought in Brooklyn to try and impress Steve.

[inky-duchess]

Hi, I love that you're helping us all with our questions on world building and historical accuracy. I really love your blog, it's great. Thank you very much for answering our questions. It's great cos a lot of this info might be covered up or disguised in history to portray the relevant parties in a positive light. Which is what I'd like to ask now.

I'm writing a fanfic in the medieval times. I want to make it more inclusive, so I'm exploring adding a disabled royal, an LGBTQA royal, maybe even an autistic one. Would the ruling king and queen try to cover up or deny the existence of their child for this? How would they go about it? But the court would hear about it on the grapevine right? What sort of reaction would they have?

How would the succession be affected if the heir was known to be gay? Would they force him to marry a woman for show? Can he keep seeing his real lover on the side? (After all, kings had mistresses). Would he be forced to produce an heir with the wife, or would he be able to adopt the child of a high-ranking courtier, or maybe a sibling of a lower rank?

Can a physically disabled prince inherit, or would they pass it to the second son? If he inherits, would rival kingdoms try to overthrow him thinking that he was weak? Can he appoint a trusted knight as captain to fight in battles in his name?

As for an autistic royal, I know some cultures thought of it as either being touched by the divine or possessed by evil (I don't mean any offence, this actually happened to my aunt; it's wrong on so many counts but people were ignorant in the old days). How then if the child was royal? Would they cover it up or would they abandon the child? Maybe send the child to live at a distant location with a caretaker so no one knows the truth? What happens if the royal family dies (eg a plague) and the only surviving member is the autistic royal? Would they have to bring him out of hiding to take the throne?

Any other info you have, which I may not have thought of, would also be very greatly appreciated.

Sorry for the many questions. Thank you in advance for your help :)

Sometimes disabled royal children are hidden away from public view, especially if its a noticeable disability. Prince John of England was hidden away at the countryside because of his epilepsy and Tsarveitch Alexei was secluded at the Palace because of his haemophilia. Royal parents may have their child moved to a country estate to be looked after by a trusted governess. They would not exactly deny their child is disabled but they will likely avoid questions about them too. The court may hear but it will likely be ignored.

The succession may be effected if the heir is gay due to their unwillingness to have a heterosexual marriage and produce kids. Many times LGBTQI+ royals did marry just to produce children. They would also have favourites on the side and plenty LGBTQI+ monarchs did have them openly (King James I had his George Villiers, yes that King James who the Bibles are named after). An LGBTQI+ royal does not gave to marry but they can pass the throne to a younger sibling. They cannot just adopt a kid. Right to a throne is bloodright.

A disabled royal can inherit. Many royals of history had disabilities such as Richard III (severe scolisis) and Kaiser Wilhelm (severe nerve damage in his left arm). Another kingdom would definitely try test them but that doesn't mean they will succeed. Some disabled royals fought in battles themselves, Richard III was a great warrior for example. If they're not physically able, they can be at the battle but have others to fight for them.

Austism in historicak figures is hard to discern so I have few examples but I imagine it would be very like royals with any similar conditions. They would likely be very sheltered and kept in seclusion away from court. If the child has to inherit, then they must. They will be brought to court and taught all they need to know to be monarch.

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, y'all. Time to do this one more time. Let the fact that there are so many of these posts right now reinforce the point. Many of you already know this, and I see and love you, but for anyone still ~undecided about their choice, should they be an American citizen of voting age on November 3, 2020:

Time to not be. It was time a long, long while ago, but I am going to have to say it again.

Primary season is over. The endless fine-tooth combing of candidates' policies and positions is over. We are all deeply well aware that the candidates on the Democratic ticket, being human beings and establishment politicians, are flawed. "BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS POSITION FROM 19/ 20-WHENEVER AS JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY IT'S TERRIBLE TO VOTE FOR -- "

No. Stop. Just stop. Stop threatening to hold the rest of us hostage, in the middle of a pandemic, the Great Depression, and racial inequality and protests on a scale not seen from the 1960s, because you did not get Barbie Dream Candidate. That is the behavior of terrorists and toddlers. If your supposedly enlightened morally pure ideology does not involve any action to mitigate the harm that is directly in front of you, it isn't worth a shit as an ideology actually devoted to helping people. If your approach to politics is to shout about how Pure your ideas are on twitter and tear down anyone working within a system of flawed choices to do the good that they can: you're not helping, and frankly, your constant threats to withhold your suffrage as a punishment to us aren't convincing the rest of us that we really need to listen to you or that you have anyone's best interests at heart. The Online Left TM is as much a vacuous, self-reinforcing noise chamber as the Online Right TM, and can sometimes tend to be even more dangerous.

I was saying this in 2016. A lot of us were saying this in 2016. I am just about to turn 32 years old and have been voting in federal elections for almost 15 years. For what it's worth.

This is not an ordinary election. This is not a contest between two flawed candidates who respect the system and want to work to enact their policies in the ordinary way. One is a flawed 90s era Democrat who nonetheless has already been pushed CONSIDERABLY left in his policies and platforms since the end of the primaries (and his existing platform would already make him the most left president elected, even more than Obama). The other is a fascist dictator who has openly spoken about refusing to accept the election results, his desire to abolish term limits and serve for life, and complete the pillaging of any remaining fragile American public funds for him and his cult of cronies. He does not respect the system. He does not want to do anything for anyone that is not himself. 160,000 and counting needless deaths of American citizens have already happened. Will keep happening.

This is the last time Trump has to face voters. This is the last chance the country has to repudiate his entire poisonous ideology and its marching Nazi minions. IF he steps aside, which is already far from guaranteed, he can ride off into the sunset as a vindicated two term president and probably be rehabilitated like George W. Bush was within a few years of leaving office. American political memory is very short. It will happen. Again, if he even leaves.

RBG is 87 and has cancer again. She will NOT survive another four years. Stephen Breyer is 81. Their seats could both come up in the next four years. The Supreme Court could be a right wing rubber stamp for whatever time we all have left before climate change and coronavirus kill us all.

"But if people just thought for themselves and did their homework and didn't vote the party line like sheep, we could support a third party/write in -- " Stop. Just stop. Attend a ninth grade civics class and learn about how politics work in America. Yes, the two-party system sucks. Yes, the Electoral College is a hot steaming pile of absolute bullshit. Magical unicorn fairy dust fantasies WILL NOT change that.

Do not vote for Kanye (who has pretty much openly admitted he is trying to play spoiler to Biden on behalf of his buddy Trump). Do not vote for godforsaken fucking Gary Johnson or Jill Stein who appear on ballots just to give sanctimonious leftists the illusion of virtue-signaling. If you want any chance of fixing the mess that 2020 has left America and the world in, you need to vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. The end.

Biden is a flawed old man who was our last choice, sure. He is also a distinguished public servant who has already been in the White House for eight years under Obama and thus we KNOW what to expect. He is an empathetic man who connects with people's personal tragedy and picked as his running mate a younger Black/biracial woman who directly confronted and called him out on past behavior. While the pundit class was simpering and whining about how it was Disrespectful and how could he consider her, Biden did so, and that speaks well to me of the fact that he is willing to learn, to take criticism, and not just accept it from a former Black female rival, but make her his second in command and the potential first female president of the United States.

Can you EVER picture Trump doing that? Not in eight thousand million years.

As for Kamala, we are all aware of her previous checkered history as a prosecutor (and even then, she did plenty of good things as well!). Since joining the Senate, however, she has consistently become one of its most progressive members. She is the co-sponsor of an economic aid package designed to give every American $2,000/month, backdated to March (the start of the coronavirus pandemic) and continuing at least a few months after its end. A Biden-Harris White House could make that happen. Especially if they are put into office with a Democratic House and Senate (for the love of God, Kentucky, kill Mitch McConnell with fire). That is just one example.

Harris's nomination is obviously historic. And Biden didn't choose another Biden (or another Tim Kaine, the blandest white man imaginable). He chose another Obama: a younger rising star of an immigrant background, a person of color, a former lawyer and someone who represents the diversity of the country that the white supremacists and the Cheeto in Chief have tried to paint as its worst and most degenerate evil.

A vote for Biden and Harris means getting rid not just of Trump, but Mike Pence, Vladimir Putin, Jared Kushner, Betsy Devos, the Trump crony destroying the Postal Service, the rampant coronavirus misinformation and bullshit, the destruction of Social Security and Medicare, the spread of Nazi propaganda from the President's twitter account, the likely two Supreme Court picks that would be as bad as Brett Kavanaugh or worse... on and on. Biden and Harris would be elected by progressive voters and thus answerable to them in 2022 midterms and 2024 general. They can both be, and already have been, pushed further left. They are reasonable and competent adults who have demonstrated experience and compassion. I KNOW about their flaws and past actions I don't agree with. But I'm frankly done with any more counterproductive straw man bitching about This One Bad Thing They Did and how it makes it a terribad awful choice to vote for them. Open your eyes. Look at the alternative. LOOK AT WHAT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS NOT EVEN AS BAD AS IT COULD STILL GET.

Check your registration or register at vote.gov.

DO NOT LOOK AT POLLS AND DECIDE "EH BIDEN IS CLEARLY GOING TO WIN, I DON'T NEED TO VOTE." THAT IS HOW WE LOST LAST TIME.

Unseating incumbents is HARD. It is even harder when the other side has openly laid out their plan to cheat in great detail, and there is nothing really stopping them from doing it. The only thing, in fact, is massive, unfalsifiable results on an undeniable scale.

So:

Vote.

Vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

Thanks a lot.