#also because Remi is very fun to doodle

[csabyssallight]

Sorry that this isn’t too detailed lmao; but here’s Remi :)

Half their face is gone whoops, she’s okay though

He’s doing funny bioengineering stuff

Idk who is actually gonna see this but

I will draw ur iterator oc if you reblog this post with the ref

bonus if you have a scug too to go with them

[erigold13261]

I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE ARACHNIKIDS ALWAYS BEING WITH SAYU CREW AU THAT YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT (sorry if this sounds too demanding but I’m so intrigued!!!!)

lol, you're good! I was able to tell this was more intrigue than being demanding!

[Adding this after I wrote everything. This came out a LOT longer than I intended. I said I wasn't gonna get into the history or that this would become a fully fleshed out AU (I still don't think it is honestly) but I did write a lot more than I intended. I probably forgot some stuff or went off on tangents and didn't connect back, but your ask made me start thinking a lot so have fun reading all of this! Especially if you were really excited about this AU, I hope I did it justice lol]

I will say, this probably isn't going to be a super fleshed out AU (not like most of mine are half the time lol), so instead of some complicated backstory as to why the Arachnikids and Crew ended up as a group, it will be more simple (so I'm not going back into super past history during like the border war or something to justify the group forming). [[I say this and then I kinda go into a justification as to how this group came to be later on down the line lol]]

I also don't have exactly much for this AU at the moment. I did see your ask you sent about your ideas for the AU, I forgot what it was at this moment since I just skimmed it since I want to give a version I think would happen before possibly altering it with other people's ideas (plus I might want to doodle something with your ask if I get time). So I'll give what I think this AU would hold.

So firstly, I honestly don't think that ALL the Arachnikids would be in the group. Well I guess that depends on who you consider an Arachnikid actually. If you see Hobie as one, I don't see it really being in the group, same with Noir or Porker.

I do see Pav, Miles, and Gwen as definitely being in the group. By extension I can also Gaya since Pav would be in it. For Margo and Peni, it can a toss-up honestly where they could be or could not be.

This actually does call into question how Nueva York would be affected by this without Miles. Looks like Hobie, Noir, and Porker aren't getting out all that soon unless they complete the programs. But anyway, let's just ignore that can of worms for right now and just get onto the mermaid part lol.

Also, so I'm not constantly using Sayu Crew and Arachnikids, I'm just gonna say like the team so I don't have to keep using both titles.

Anyway! I think the team would still start with Tila and Remi interacting at first (Tila stealing Remi's art for one of her songs/covers then apologizing after realizing what she did). Then instead of bringing on Dodo and Sofa, it is Gaya and Pav who join next because of Remi and Pav's relation to Eve.

I can see Pav and Remi being friends after meeting as kids when Eve took Remi to see her side of the family at some point (Eve being so much older she was hanging out more with older members of the family while Remi gravitated to Pav and that age group of the family).

Once Remi and Tila kinda teamed up I can see Remi telling Pav this (either in person on a visit or online) in a very excited manner and then it turns into Pav and Gaya wanting to join in and have fun.

It's mainly just animatics and drawings with some voice acting, sometimes a short full animation would come out, but it got quite a few people interested online. That would be where I can see Gwen getting really into these mermaids online since they expressed a kind of teenage femininity that she wanted to be, which then led into Miles getting into these mermaids to try and have something to talk about with Gwen (and later becoming a pretty big fan himself).

Once the team so far saw how popular they were getting, Remi and Tila recruited Sofa and Dodo respectively since they were already friends and knew those two had skills that could help them out, which only helped the quality of their project to keep getting better.

Miles and Gwen being really big fans of the project probably made their usernames known to the team. Especially if Miles and Gwen made fanart and tried making some music , which made them really popular in this little fandom that started to be made online.

Overtime I honestly see Miles and Gwen virtually becoming part of the team (like how Pav and Gaya were mostly virtual compared to the Crew was still physically close to each other).

Miles and Remi would work as designers for the mermaids. Gwen would help make music (Miles would help with lyrics) but also became another voice for a third mermaid (before it was just 2 with Tila and Gaya. Before it used to be one with Gaya the talking voice and Tila the singing voice, but that changed as they got more popular, some fans still get confused why Sayu's voice changed lol).

Pav also helped out with inspiration and stuff, making cool looking realms, landscapes, designs and more with his powers (kinda looking like AI art from the early days, before it started becoming like photo realistic and junk like that) and having Gaya take pictures to send to the team to work on.

I can also see Pav doing cool stunts that Gaya would record and send in to the rest of the team. Things that Dodo just wouldn't be able to capture with mo-cap either because he lacked those skills, the environment wasn't right, or it went beyond what mo-cap could actually capture at the time.

All of this was going well and good, except that Sofa was basically doing all the editing and putting the whole project together by themself, and were starting to get very overworked since almost none of the others could really help them out in this area. I think Miles definitely would have started learning more editing skills to try and help Sofa out at this point (maybe Ganke taught him or Ganke might come in at this point, I don't know what Ganke's lore is and if he has a tech background).

However, what I see happening is the team kinda asking for help with their project, like if any of their fans would want to help them out in this area or knew someone who could be hired (these are still teens who aren't part of NSR yet, so it's not like they are completely rich or rolling in money).

But the team is in luck! One of their more recent fans is really good at tech stuff, especially things like 3D animation or rigging up avatars! This would be when Margo ends up joining the team. She and Sofa work on the editing and software of the mermaids, with maybe Remi and Miles helping with video editing at times.

Now, at this point, I would say that the mermaids (Sayu, Aoi, and Yua are definitely made at this point, or at least versions of them are) have been around for maybe like 2 years. I can see the team is still about a year away from actually being signed onto NSR. I do think it took the OG Sayu Crew a long time to get enough skill and recognition to be at the Megastar level we see them at (not to mention having to get hologram tech at some point because I doubt Sayu was on the screen when first performing at a Light Up audition).

So right now, the Sayu project, or Mermaid project (whatever it would be called because I doubt it would be called the Doki Doki Mermaid Club in this AU, as that was a spin-off game that was made after Sayu was NSR in my version of things), has Remi, Miles, Tila, Gaya, Gwen, Pav, Dodo, Sofa, and Margo.

The mermaids I'll just use the names I gave them, but honestly with this AU they might change drastically because of the added people in the creation process. Sayu is voiced by Tila, Aoi is voiced by Gaya, and Yua is voiced by Gwen. I can actually see Gwen at some point during the time working on the project probably came out socially to her friends as trans and so when Yua was being made a decision with the team was made to one day make her transition (which happens before joining NSR) so that Gwen could grow with the role as time goes on and she does more voice training. As of now though, Yua is probably like a merman or a mermaid but the backstory hasn't been fully revealed yet and so just has a slightly deeper voice (as Gwen at this point hasn't done any voice training at all).

Miles, Pav, and Remi are all working on visual art for the project. Gwen, Miles, Tila, and Remi are working on songs. Dodo, Pav, and Gwen are working on the motions/mo-cap. And Margo and Sofa (with some help from Miles and Remi at times) are working on the editing and software of the project.

All of this is well and good, but like I mentioned earlier, they are gonna have to figure out a way to get Sayu into the physical world in order to ever be able to try out for a Lights Up audition. In the OG version, I can see Eve actually helping Remi get connections, but in this AU I can actually see Peni being the person they go to.

I like the idea that Peni's family is very tech savvy (most of them probably are technomancers) so she would have the resources to help them. This is probably before she accidentally killed her father with her powers messing up his medical equipment at the hospital.

Honestly, I think it would be really nice if being a fan of the Sayu project could have helped her with her technomancy. Like I can see her making mini robot figurines and stuff because she was inspired by seeing the mermaids and thought their designs were cool and just naturally honed her work through a hyperfixation. So yeah! In this AU kits father is probably still alive! How cool is that! :D

Anyway, I can see Peni making some cool hologram or something of Sayu, something still pretty wonky and not perfect, and posting it online in the fandom/community space. Which absolutely catches the attention of the whole team as it was something so cool, done by someone so young (I see her as the youngest of the Arachnikids).

There would definitely be a line of communication that opened up about how cool kits work was and all that. Peni would be so happy to have been recognized for kits work and show kits parents happily! Something something, I don't really know how this part would happen, but I can see Peni joining the team.

Maybe her dad travels a lot and (considering I see him as a technomancer) probably has connections to robotic works in other areas (like Vandelay or J-1), which would allow Peni to go visit the main part of the team (the OG Sayu Crew) and talk about making an actual working, life-sized hologram of the mermaids.

Either that, or I can see Peni being able to visit Miles and Gwen (as they are closer than Pav and Gaya or the OG Crew), and there they make "live action" videos of the Mermaids. It would required a lot of editing and really good internet, but I can definitely see the team working together to make this video happen (it definitely would not be a livestream for a while as they sort out all the bugs or find a way to get everyone into one area).

Actually, this could be how Ganke gets roped into the situation! He could have been the videographer for any life action stunts as well as like a boom operator with his silencing powers. The team never had to worry about weather conditions thanks to Ganke's powers!

This skill would later help the team when they were working on shot compositions and stuff. Making sure all the mermaids were framed correctly at all times. This would be one less thing Margo and Sofa would have to focus on which allowed special effects (especially in livestreams) to become so much better since both editors could work at the same time without having to focus on 3 mermaids.

This new addition of a different media like this would really push the mermaids' popularity skywards. Especially considering people are now asking if they could meet these mermaids in person. Fans started comparing them to robot stars like 1010 or other robotic artists, which was just a huge boost in confidence for the team.

Honestly, I can even see a new mermaid being put into the mix. The only ones left are Haru and Renho, and I can kinda seeing Peni's voice and personality fitting Haru a lot. That kinda leaves Renho out of the mix, which I am sad about.

The only way I can really see all 5 being in the mix is if Margo ends up also being a voice actor (the team probably wanted to keep mostly feminine voices with an exception for Yua who would later get a more feminine voice as Gwen voice trained).

I can see Margo actually taking up a voice acting role, but that would shift the roles around a bit, but if Ganke is also on the team, as well as Margo and Peni learning how to use their powers more, this is definitely something that can happen!

So in this case, to have all 5 mermaids present before they ever end up at NSR (which I think would kinda be a goal at this point for the team, but they also just want to have an established group of mermaids) the roles would kinda look like this:

-Voices: Tila (Sayu), Gaya (Aoi), Gwen (Yua), Margo (Renho or Haru), and Peni (Haru or Renho).

-Mo-cap/movement: Dodo (Sayu), Pav (Aoi), and Gwen (Yua). Margo would learn to use her powers (astral projection) in a way to be more tech savvy thanks to Peni and would be able to control both Renho and Haru without actually having to do mo-cap (Peni can communicate with Margo through the computer, I can explain this more in another post if I remember lol).

-Live Editor: Sofa and Ganke mainly for live edits (Margo used to do this before being the main mover for Renho and Haru).

-Post Editor (not live): Sofa, Ganke, Margo, and Peni. Miles and Remi help with video editing.

-Hologram/robotic engineer: Peni. She is also the connector between the holograms and the mo-cappers. Without kit the mermaids literally cannot be holograms (this problem gets fixed after the team becomes Megastars as they have the money and resources to make a mechanical connector for IRL holograms to work).

-Animator/Artists: Remi, Miles, and Pav for the most part. 3D animations or anything with models is a group effort honestly but that would fall more into the post editors' hands (2D animation and comics are solely Remi and Miles job though, with Pav helping them get their ideas out physically with his powers)

-Music (lyrics): Tila, Gaya, and Miles are the main lyricists. I can see Dodo helping in this regard as well as Pav.

-Music (non-lyrics): Remi, Gwen, and Dodo. Miles is learning to make music. Sofa and Margo help with editing the music (Sofa more than Margo as they were brought up in a musical city and has more experience with EDM music than she does).

Uh, I think that's all the roles for now that I can think of. I tried to make it realistic in what they would do in terms of work load and skills they have/could have. Honestly looking at this, Tila and Gaya have the least work it seems lol. However, they are probably the ones making the bulk of the lyrics for the music and probably the dialogue/script for any animations (especially if the two get in character and end up making a lot of funny banter).

Anyway, once all of this was settled and all 5 mermaids were introduced, I can see the group trying to get a Lights Up audition. It definitely took some parents more convincing than others (like Gwen's and Miles) but with all the progress that the team has made, I can definitely see them having enough evidence for all their parents to let them go and try out for NSR.

I bet almost all the parents didn't believe they would actually be successful. Thinking that most likely these kids would be turned down and they would have to try again when they were older. So it came as a HUGE shock that the mermaids actually made it and were accepted with basically a fully acceptance from the standing Megastars at the time and from Tatiana.

Which basically meant that the team literally just skipped over a ton of work of having to prove themselves and work their way up to being Megastars. They were literally right at the cusp and a few months of work would grant them the title of Akusuka's charters!

That is to say, it would IF their parents actually let that happen. We know that the OG Crew's family does end up letting this happen (one way or another, I didn't even think about the Crew's emancipation from their families so that had to have happened at some point during all of this). But the other parent's might not be as willing to let their kids go off to a new country and be superstars.

Pav's family is definitely letting him go. He has family in the area and with Eve being a Megastar already, she could help him control his powers (which he is already really well in control of, I will try to talk a bit about the powers more at the end of this, I hope I remember).

Gaya's might be on the fence. On the one hand, this is something she put years into and it has shown she is very talented and could potentially become very rich, famous, and happy. On the other hand, she if still very young and they don't want her to go alone or to move the whole family (I can see her father willing to go with her, giving up his job where they live and trying to find another one if this is truly what Gaya wants, but the rest of their family might not approve).

Peni's family is probably not found of the idea in all honesty, but her parents would definitely be willing to move to Vinyl City if the dad could also get a contract specifically with J-1 or any other tech company in the area (which he would get and be willing to move Peni and the family there, plus they probably have better cybercare there than anything Vandelay could offer which is another plus).

Margo's family, depending on how you see them, would be either pushing her to go or trying to keep her there with them. She says in the movie her home life isn't great, and there is a lot of yelling (and probably neglect as she can just sit on her VR headset all the time in their minds), so she might just be able to promise to send money to them and they would allow her to leave.

Okay, so now Ganke, Miles, and Gwen's families. I do not see them at all being on bored with this decision. They all want what is best for their kids and this does not seem like it would be a good fit. Not with them all being so young and Vinyl City being so far away.

It also would cut in deeply to their education which I see all three of those families taking very seriously. Peni is probably gonna be homeschooled for a bit, Margo would take online classes, the Crew basically drop out, Gaya and Pav would enroll in a Vinyl City school probably. But Miles, Gwen, and Ganke are already in very good schools of their own (and Miles' family need a scholarship for that school I'm pretty sure), so even if the world runs on music, this change from a good schooling to just playing music probably doesn't seem like a good idea for their parents.

I can see Ganke's parents eventually giving in and letting Ganke go work for NSR as long as he get into a good school in Vinyl City and keeps his grades up (they would try to find a way to move to Vinyl City in the meantime as they can't fully uproot their lives right at that moment and this deal is a very limited time offer).

Miles' parents are probably extremely against the idea. Think this is not something that will be a forever career, or that it will become unstable (especially if the blackouts of Vinyl City are well known, which Miles would fight against and saying this could help the city and the world if they could produce enough power with their music). It would just be a very big back and forth but eventually they would see how much this truly means to Miles and let him go. I can see his mom going with him but his dad has to stay behind so he can try to transfer jobs or tie up loose ends.

Actually, depending on when this is, Aaron might still be alive (in this case, instead of meeting Gwen in a support group, they just met online in the mermaid fandom). So instead of Miles fighting alone in why he should be able to go to Vinyl City, Aaron would be there right with him and is the one to convince Jeff and Rio to let Miles go (Aaron probably went with Miles instead of the parents since it would have been hard for them to leave while Aaron could easily accompany Miles to a new life).

The main problem now is Gwen. Since Aaron is alive, Peter probably is too, at least in this AU (because I am now just realizing this, I don't know how to really put Peter into the story, so let's just say he was always helping support Gwen but couldn't really care about the mermaids themselves and so never got into helping with the project himself). Gwen is also still pre-transition and definitely not out to her dad. Or at least she wasn't before the auditions happened.

See, in my head, Gwen did get voice training thanks to the team helping her, but she never used her feminine voice around her dad at all. So when her dad heard her voice, he didn't even realize it was Gwen. Only after he looked up more about the mermaids (as I can see Gwen keeping a lot of this secret or super vague) did George realize Gwen was voicing the transgender mermaid with a very feminine voice. He looked through a lot of the old videos and could hear the voice transition over the years and kinda realized Gwen is probably trans and just never told him.

Instead of waiting for her to come home to talk, he called her up while she was still in Vinyl City or on the plane and tried to confront her. If she was on the plane, I can see her running away to Peter's once she landed and trying to hide from her father. There she would do her best to find a way back to Vinyl City, especially after she realized that she was the last one of the team that needed to get some kind of permission or give and okay. So she just has Ganke, Peter, and Miles help her get to Vinyl City without her dad knowing (probably using Remi and Pav's connection to Eve to do this).

If she was still in Vinyl City, she would have not gone back home and tried to stay with the Crew or with Eve if Remi explained what was happening and Eve offered her own place.

At this point in both options, there would definitely be some corruption and abuse of power on Eve's part to make sure that Gwen would be allowed to stay in Vinyl City and work against her father's wishes even though she is a minor. To Eve, this is helping Gwen get out of a potentially bad situation, but to George it feels like kidnapping or some horrible shit going down and he is losing his daughter. He'd do his best to get her back and would quit his job and move to Vinyl City to try and make things right.

Since he had time after his phone call with Gwen (they probably didn't talk on the phone about this) he never freaked out for a moment and said something to push Gwen away. No, instead this whole issue happened because Gwen was terrified of the potential that her dad would not like hearing she was trans. So instead of a reactive runaway scenario, it was a preemptive runaway scenario.

Anyway, that could probably be a small plot for the Revolution (imagine George and Kliff teaming up to try and take down NSR for their own reasons! ooooh!).

So yeah, once all of that had been squared away, the team is all set to work as the mermaids! They would spend the first few months getting used to everything as smaller Akusuka artists, and work their way up quickly to charters! From here it would be relatively the same as canon NSR for the most part except with 5 mermaids instead of just one of them (I'll think of fight mechanics later because I have to think of how the mermaids would be different now).

Oh! Right! I was gonna talk a tiny bit about Nueva York!

See, the whole thing with this AU hinges on the idea that the arachnikids do not get put into Nueva York really early. Pretty sure I said that Hobie was one of the longer instituted residents at 3 years at the time of the Power revolution.

So that would mean that... uh, pretty sure his one year mark at being at Nueva York that is when the Rock Revolution happened. And I see OG Sayu as having worked at NSR for like... 3 years I think it was?

That means 3 years of mermaid development, 2-3 years of NSR work, and then like 2 years of a timeskip before the Power Revolution (close to 3 kinda? sometimes, idk, still working on that for the OG NSpiR AU honestly lol).

At that time of the Power Revolution, Miles is about 14-15........ That would mean the mermaids were first developed when Miles was 6-7 years old by this logic... It would also mean that Remi was about 7-8 years old when he and Tila started the project....

Okay, so that doesn't work. At all. Specifically because I think that means Peni would have been 4 at the start of the project (and like 6 when kit joined the project). Which obviously doesn't work as joining a project like that is different from like being a prodigy and joining an organization with the help of your parents (looking at you Yinu).

I think I can fix this though. Maybe? I think if I just move the timeline over a bit, so that the mermaid team was brought on when they were older instead of younger (Also I think I'm gonna stick to the 2 years of work instead of 3 years because it messes things up later on I think). So like, instead of Remi being 14 and Miles being 13 at the time of the ROCK revolution (because 3 years of development and 2 years of work), instead I could change the order of the bosses and ages a bit because of timeline reasons.

So for me, I like the idea that the bosses in reverse order is how they got to NSR. That means that instead of Sayu being brought on before DJSS, instead DJSS was brought on BEFORE the team.... Wait no, because Nova had to have been fired from his professor job to get to NSR in the first place.

Okay! New plan! Nova get put in at the same time he originally was, BUT the mermaid team waited until they were super ready for NSR. Meaning that in this AU, there was an entirely different charter for Akusuka that would later be replaced by the team as they traveled up the ranks once they were actually brought on.

So, here's the idea I have. 5 years is the total time it takes from mermaid development until the Rock Revolution (I'm just ignoring the timeskip because I just needed it for ages at the moment and I'll be using 2 years of NSR work, not 3).

[This also means that the Revolution technically takes place later because I am moving the timeline up a little. Maybe something happened and B2J didn't get an audition for an extra year or two].

-At the beginning of development it is just Remi and Tila

-Quickly Pav and Gaya join

-Before the half year or 3/4 year mark Sofa and Dodo join

-At about the 1 year mark is when Gwen and Miles join

-1.5-2 year mark is when Margo joins (they start getting serious)

-At 2 or a bit after Peni joins along with Ganke quickly after

-Then a year of final development before joining NSR

-2 years of work and then it's revolution time!

I put this up here to kinda help me with ages. Since Peni is the youngest I am gonna work with her to help me figure out the ages. Peni is 14 when the timeskip happens, so that means she is 12 when the Rock Revolution happens, 10 when she joined NSR, and 9 when she joined the mermaid project.

I can see that as something happening, especially if Peni's parents are pretty lenient which I can see them as that (especially with someone like Yinu who is working at 9 in OG version lol, meaning she joined NSR even younger). So by the time of the revolution the approximate ages would be:

-Peni (14), Gwen (15), Miles (15), Ganke (15), Pav (15), Gaya (15), Remi (17), Margo (17), Tila (18), Sofa (18), and Dodo (19).

Because of these ages, I think this means that this AUs Rock Revolution happens 3 years after the OG Rock Revolution would happen. That is because Remi is 17 and I have him in my notes as 14 (I used to have him at 15 but for some reason I had to keep checking my notes because I kept saying 14 in my head, so I just changed it to 14 a bit ago since that is what my brain thought was better. So the rest of the Crew got bumped down at that time as well by one year).

Anyway, this means the ages of the other characters also ended up getting changed:

-Mayday (24), Zuke (30), DJSS (44), Yinu (12 going on 13), Mama (43), Neon J (60), 1010 (28), Eve (30), Tatiana (51), Kliff (48), and DK West (34).

Don't know what happened in that 3 year time span that made B2J not start a revolution, but something had happened to delay them.

Oh my fuck... I just realized I went on that whole rant of ages because I was supposed to talk about Nueva York but I went into NSR ages instead! Okay! Nueva York time!

The whole reason I was going to talk about ages was because at this point in the OG NSpidR AU, something would have happened to each of the Arachnikids during the mermaids development time that would have sent them away to Nueva York.

However! Because they had the mermaid project to occupy them and help them find creative solutions with their powers, they never had that outburst moment that got them sent to Nueva York. They learned how to use their powers through positive affirmation and community instead of through fear and repression.

The sucky thing about this is that some people get stuck in Nueva York. Hobie, Noir, Porker are all there without the help of Miles (or the rest of the Arachnikids) so there is very little chance that a Power Revolution will end up happening.

Well, actually, I guess since NSR doesn't get attacked as soon, Ex-Jay would actually have more time to look for Hobie since they aren't being contacted by NSR for at least another 3 years (so I think that would mean Hobie has been in Nueva York for 4-5 years at this point which would be enough for Ex-Jay to just try and get Hobie out themselves since it was put in there very unfairly).

Honestly, it would be cool in this AU that the revolutions were reversed! Like the Power Revolution happened since there was less resources put into Nueva York (since the Rock Revolution couldn't have been used as propaganda) and so that had elements of rock to it thanks to Hobie and Ex-Jay which would be a small inspiration for B2J once they got rejected by NSR during their auditions.

There was an abuse of power in Nueva York, and now there is an abuse in power in NSR. Which would actually tie in nicely with George and Gwen's story plot as this could be propaganda that helps push B2J to take down NSR. Especially if it came out that Eve helped Gwen get away from her father using her power and privilege, it would keep George around after the mermaid fight enough push B2J to get to Eve and then Tatiana (where Kliff's intentions become fully known to the group).

So yeah! I know I said I didn't have much to say, but uh... Well I lied lol! I apparently had a lot to say about this haha! Hope you liked reading my ramblings! :3

[orbital-inclination]

Nightmare/Rem’s reference and tiny doodle dump for my MoltenDreams au!  og dreamtale @.jokublog   ramble under cut!

I didn’t want to deviate Nightmare’s personality too much from what makes OG Nightmare Sans so fun to play with. Though softer and more sensitive than his OG counterpart, they do share some similarities. 

General Stuff

Moltendreams!Nightmare Aka Rem or Remy, is a smug bastard. he likes winning and is a brat about it.

still a massive nerd and book worm

prefers reading to socializing

a die hard introvert

he is brooding and intimidating when he wants to be

is prone to reading until odd hours of morning if left unsupervised

He’s an excellent swordsmen, %50 self taught

a patient stagiest 

He is more hesitant than OG Nightmare but thanks to Dream’s presence and continued support, he is more open and expressive of his feelings

still doesn't like talking about them though, he’s just worse at hiding it 

still a grump

surprisingly tempermental

in this au, negativity, when touched by Rem, has a starry aesthetic instead of a slimy/inky one

Rem is at his strongest only when the world is at it’s bleakest. he essentially plays the role of a figure who only appears during the world’s darkest hour

Sword Stuff

his sword is a physical object imbued with his magic and negativity. he recharges it by drawing on the negative side of an au or the hatred, fear or grief of beings nearby

in a similar way, Rem can spread negativity by first charging his blade, than plunging it into the “heart” of an AU. This heart can be a physical place in the world, the code itself, or it might be a person. (ex. if the story is about/centers around a happy Asriel, Frisk or Sans for example, Rem will turn the au negative by plunging his sword through their soul.)

when Rem’s Sword is fully charged it cannot hurt you physically or effect your HP, with the exception of Aus where HP represents HOPE. (in that case then, yeah, it will hurt you.) instead, it influences your emotions, unlashing feelings that were bottled up or repressed. 

if the Sword is in “Idle” mode, it WILL physically hurt because it is still a sword

if its Rem’s intention to, he can also force a sense of dread or hopeless onto a person/au that lingers like a bad flu. He can and will do this on occasion, but he doesn’t like to. (he feels really bad about it afterwards)

Design Notes:

His colors are bluer in hue to visually tell the viewer he is a gentler variant

The direction of the crescent moon on his circlet/crown does not matter and doesn't reflect anything. im just lazy

his cloak is very cozy and warm and you are very lucky if he lets you wear it

[runicmagitek]

Talk about your dnd OCs! I would love to hear about them 😁🌟

Oh Wiz! Thank you!! This is so sweet. Let me round up my faves I've collected over the years.

Viuly - this is one of my oldest OCs in general that I converted into a D&D character. She's a high elf pact of the blade warlock who accidentally became a warlock while coming home after essentially flunking wizard school. Her heart is in the right place, but her methods can be questionable. She's the vodka aunt of the group.

Ilumina - Viuly's kid sister, who was mostly an NPC in Viuly's campaign, but I played her in a follow-up campaign. She's a high elf knowledge domain cleric. She's a good girl who suffers from insomnia and just wants her sister to come home safe and sound. If Viuly is the "someone's gonna die" character, Ilumina is the one jumping in to go, "of fun! :D :D :D"

Rivyn - my anxious murder girl. She's a tiefling assassin rogue (with some levels in cleric) who grew up abandoned on the streets and is like a feral cat - kind of lashes out at anything that moves, but is a sweetie once she warms up to people. Her claim to fame was stumbling upon a cursed deck of many things and then making it her mission to destroy it.... yeaaaah it went exactly as well as you imagine it would. tl;dr - some deities got involved and before she was escorted to hell, Sarenrae intervened and took Rivyn in. So she's now an ascended tiefling(??? whatever we houseruled this) who acts on Sarenrae's behalf to bestow redemption in times of need (and she's a lot less murder-y about it lol). Whenever we do campaigns in that particular universe, sometimes Rivyn pops up as a patron saint to orphaned children. People respect her by leaving blankets out at night for her spirit to snuggle in (she had an extensive blanket collection).

Zaki - She's a half-elf battle master fighter. She was once a military officer with a promising career, but after discovering the toxicity behind the scenes, she abandoned that role to join others who wanted to do the right thing. Her campaign is about 200 years after Rivyn's and she used to idolize the (very exaggerated) stories of the now ascended tiefling; she even managed to summon Rivyn to "smite" a corrupt politician (probably the most epic 100 roll I've ever done). Sadly, Zaki's campaign has been on hold for a while, but last she left off was heading into another plane to stop a lich. You know, like you do.

Zephyr - Oh this little gem. Zephyr is a paladin of Shelyn (we incorporate a lot of Pathfinder lore, if that wasn't evident already), who most people believe is an aasimar. And they believe it too, because they were totally left on the temple's doorstep as an infant and not... you know, a newly hatched silver dragon separated from their family who panicked and turned into a human. They grew up surrounded by art and want nothing but to spread beauty and love wherever they go. I haven't gotten far in their campaign, but they are a ray of sunshine amongst a bunch of other nerds who'd rather talk things out than stab a guy.

Megami - We once ran a homebrew D&D game incorporating Shadowrun stuff, because while I love Shadowrun, I hate playing Shadowrun lol Megami is an elven bard (essentially a street shaman) who summons two kitsune to either buff or debuff, depending on what's going on. She dressed like an avant-garde cyberpunk kabuki actress and danced and sing to cast her spells. Her claim to fame was assuming some asshole hospital director's identity (I forget which bard ability it was, but wow did I jump on that) to go live on a broadcast stating that all homophobic/transphobic rules and regulations were lifted - this was a part of some quest we had with a biker gang that were turned down for gender-affirming surgery. It was amazing.

Damianos - my other murder child. He was a human rogue/paladin/sorcerer in a Ravnica campaign we did. He originally was a pirate from Theros, who was then ripped away and plopped into Ravnica, lost a bunch of his memories, and woke up as a Dimir spy. All he cared about was serving himself and trying to find a way back home (bonus points if he could bring his boyfriend with him, another Dimir informant). He was very bursty damage-wise, but quite squishy and had the worst luck with skill check rolls. A lot of "I can do this!" and immediately falling flat on his face. He was like if Jesper Fahey and Trevor Belmont had a kid. Sadly, he did not get a happy ending in that he couldn't break free from House Dimir or go back home, but he's at least got his boyfriend!

Also, not D&D characters, but here are some honorable mentions from other TTRPS:

Hiccups (from Shadowrun) - a human street mage who only became a runner so she could pay off her college debt. She's too pure for this world and the white mage of the group (her only weapon is a taser, I kid you not). Also doesn't do well with gruesome deaths and she earned her runner name due to constantly hiccupping and crying when she did witness an awful death.

Remi (from Vampire) - a Khaibit vampire from the punk rock days of London. She was the bodyguard for a Toreador vampire, specializing in boxing. She was a quick lil' thing who was also good with computers and preferred doodling in her spare time. Barely talked, but that's what her fists were for ;D

[oatmealdaydreams]

If I may add some twin moments to this masterpiece

Remus keeps getting bullied for being the eccentric of the Sanders group

Ya know, black eyes and bruises and being called insults, etc.

Then Roman finds out about his actual brother being bullied

He ain't having THAT, no sir

So he finds out who's hurting his bro, and f*cking DESTROYS them

doesn't lay a finger on them; he literally just gets very intimidating and gets very protective of his bro and the bully kinda... cowers in fear and runs away

Anyway, people start to leave Remus alone after that, especially when the others find out and also get protective of Remus in their own ways

also, twin swap moments? Yeah, those somehow also fail cause of how different Remus is

It pisses Remus off to no end, and Roman also gets a bit frustrated by it

The twins swapping papers, depending on the assignment, and Remus purposefully getting things wrong to mess with Roman

They both doodle on their assignments, but Remus will just draw dicks to piss off the teacher (cause yeah)

Roman doodles crowns or some reference to Disney (or swords)

Once, a teacher called Remus' name as "R. Sanders" and all three of the R. Sanders were like "which one?" (Roman, Remus, and Remy)

General Moments - cause now I'm obsessed

Janus is initially hesitant to tell the others his actual name, so he just refers to himself as some queer-coded villain (aka: Deceit)

The only one he mildly trusts is Virgil (kinda?) and also Remus

Virgil just refers to him as J, since Janus only gives him the first letter of his actual name as a test or something

Remus is the first and only one to know his real name (for a while, at least)

Remus is impulsive but manages to get it a lil secret by just calling him Dee instead (along with whatever vulgar nickname he can think of, like Double-Dee)

Janus and Virgil are kinda rocky with each other

Once Janus finally reveals his name as a biggo sign of trust, it's surprisingly received well, aside from a momentary outburst from Roman (of whom meant it as a "I make fun of the things I love" way but it's received as an insult)

So yep, name revealed but now Roman and Janus are a lil iffy with each other for a bit

Virgil still calls him J instead tho

And Remus just calls him more innuendos based on his name (like J-Anus)

MOVING ON, there's an instance where Virgil has a panic attack during class (of which he has with only one other Sanders), so that fellow Sanders covers for him while he escapes to the bathroom to deal with it

They have a group chat with all 7+ of them, so the chat gets texted that Virgil's not doing good and someone needs to go help him calm down

One of them volunteers immediately and then finds Virgil and helps him through it

Just them being a massive support group for each other

The group chat is literally called Sanders Sides cause why not embrace the name by now

Janus is also a bit excluded from the whole "getting mixed up" thing

^he and Remus bond over that

People see this as opportunity to bully Janus, and they do

And um... the others don't find out until they see Janus a little panicky and trying to cover flinches when they mention something about appearances (people be bullying him for his 'freakish' face)

And oh boy, does Remus especially go f*cking nuts

They're all like NOT TODAY and explode with reassurances about his new-found insecurities due to da bullying

At some point, they have to take it to the counselor because Remus is two seconds away from beating someone to death

And this is when Remus and Janus meet Dr. Emile Picani, aka: another look-alike to add in their weird hoard of found-family nonsense

Yeah so, the situation is dealt with and that particular bully is in detention for a while

And gets enough death-threatening glares from the others that they decide to finally leave Janus alone

Just thinking about Remy using a mobility aid cause he's blind and someone tries to be mean about it, but it's during Mr. Thomas Sanders' class, so Thomas puts this kid in his place in the most polite, passive aggressive, are-you-sure-you-aren't-related-to-Janus type way

Mm, some rap battles between Roman and Logan reveal Logan's love for poetry and Roman always manages to lose

Remus and Janus? Dynamic duo who pisses off authority on purpose for the hell of it (both have gotten detention for it before but they literally don't care)

Virgil and Remus having this weird older-bro & little-bro dynamic going on, and no one can honestly tell who is which

Virgil and Remus messing with Roman cause why the f*ck not

Janus and Logan have civil debates with each other and bond over Philosophy

Roman and Janus, though a bit rocky until they sort out their hurt and upset, are gossip buddies

Remus being very good at painting n sh*t, like almost too good with realistic art (though he has a specialty in gore and body horror)

Roman being the actor of the two, and also being a very good writer

Logan, surprisingly to Roman, has somewhat of a creative drive to him because he writes these poems sometimes and um, they're so good actually?? Roman is baffled how someone that avoidant towards emotions can capture them in poetry so well

The one time when Remus catches Logan writing a short, self-insert fanfic about Sherlock Holmes; no one survives

Logan with autism vs Remus with autism looks very different, but they also share a few experiences

Remus' fav stim toy is a chewy necklace, and he's a bit possessive over it

Logan and his emotional support water bottle that he carries with him everywhere

Roman being the ADHD to Remus' tism

Patton also having ADHD but in a different way than Roman does

Body-Doubling is a common activity with this group because there isn't a single neurotypical bone in anyone's body

Janus has burn scars, right? So maybe a little dose of trauma comes from that, and he has some aversion to fire

So he's in science class one day with Virgil, and the teacher is doing this trick with chemical fire and changing the colours, and Janus is very on edge the whole time

Virgil takes notice of shaking hands beneath the desk, so he holds Janus' hand as class goes on, which grounds him and helps him feel better

Cause though those two have a rocky friendship sometimes, they still care about each other and want one another to be okay

Mr. Thomas Sanders becoming acquainted with Dr. Emile Picani, and being like "omg there's another one" (them becoming work friends, yus)

Mr. Sanders meeting Janus and Remus, and just adding them to his hoard of "kids who look like me and now are my sons"

Let's say their school has a homeroom thing and Mr. Sanders ends with having all 7 of these kids in his damn homeroom, and they all end up grouped together in the seating arrangement cause yeah they can't escape it no more

The homeroom notice they look like the teacher, and someone asks Mr. Sanders if they're his kids

And Mr. Sanders is like "at this point, yeah"

They all have varying reactions to their very cool and supportive teachers implying they're like his kids to him (some include embarrassment from Virgil and Janus, some looks of warm acceptance like "wait really, waaa, that's so cool", and even a "technically not related" from Logan but he's smiling)

^Remy is basically like "mf what?" but embraces it anyway cause not even he can escape the Curse of Sanders Look-Alikes™

Remus is like... a bit confused by it? Like "you really think of me as your kid?" in an angst way cause maybe he's a bit used to others excluding him from things cause he's "too eccentric"

And Roman notices his brother's vulnerable look he gets when insecurities show up, and so he scoots up by him and hooks an arm over his shoulders, saying something like "no duh, dingus. can't escape being a Sanders."

So yeah, precious lil moment

The angsty trio, aka the dark Sides, all seem to have somewhat of an insecurity cause they're used to be hurt and pushed away

^the others are like "actually no, you're wanted and we will prove it to you, mf" and proceed to the reassure the sh*t out of them

Back to the homeroom thing: Remus wasn't originally assigned that homeroom, but some abandonment issues kicked in and he got moved to be with his friends and brother, as to avoid having another freakout and feeling excluded/isolated again

Remy also hadn't been in there originally, he indeed was never supposed to be in there, but a schedule mix-up happened and no one wants to fix it, so he just stays in there with the rest of the Sanders

Janus' snake is his emotional support animal (esa) to help him deal with school and people cause he's a bit on edge around others (hence a lying habit and an impeccable skill for acting that almost rivals Roman)

Janus getting into theatre with Roman, and them f*cking around in theatre club after school

The homeroom just start referring to the Sanders gang as the teacher's kids, and it's gets actually very annoying cause the only ones related are the twins

But ay, schoolmates don't give a sh*t

Okay, but Logan and Virgil getting mistaken for being twins?

Logan is like "we literally aren't related. I wear glasses and he doesn't. I wear blue and he wears purple. How tf-"

And their classmates are just "eh idk, you're both f*cking weird nerds."

And though, yus, Virgil is actually very checking smart, he absolutely looks like his fav brand of emo, so how tf did they connect emo to nerd-

Their peers are just like "idk, you're like brothers. Like you're both quiet and look alike, so you gotta be twins, right?"

It irritates the f*ck out of Logan but only because they're literally just wrong, please ffs listen when I say we aren't related-

Logan hates it when people choose to keep believing in misinfo, like the Sanders (minus the actual twins) being related in any way

Mm yus, but also Patton and Logan getting mistaken for twins but ONLY because of the fact that they both wear glasses 24/7. That's the only reason.

Also the actual twins, Ro and Re, getting mistaken for not being twins or brothers, but instead people think they're just random friends. Like no, we're actually bros and twins. You dumbass.

It's cause they look so different cause of Remus' growing mustache and white hair-streak and etc.

So yeah, that's annoying on its own

Virgil being emo, Remus being punk, Janus being goth; call that the Angst Trio

Anyway, don't know what else to add. Sorry it was so long. Hopefully, my addition fits the au well.

This is freaking awesome as hell. Love it!

Sanders Sides highschool AU where none of them are related but they all have the same last name so their senior quotes all match up like so:

Logan: No, we’re… Patton: …not related… Roman: …so, please… Virgil: …stop asking.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

okay some losleep headcanons because @xbrad-pitifulx made some and now I want to make some and my muse has finally stopped blackmailing me for analogical so here goes-

Remy (xbrad) already mentioned it but these two are fucking. no sleepers. it’s a mix of insomnia and overworking and stress and simply not wanting to sleep and at this point neither of them are good at figuring out which of these things is keeping them up tonight

Well, aside from the overworking. that’s pretty easy to figure out

Logan’s more prone to it (to the surprise of no one) and as such Remy’s very skilled in getting him to stop and sleep

Mostly because Remy is really good at pulling Logan’s chair away from his desk + quick saving out of his work and/or straight-up flinging his papers across the room before picking Logan up and moving them to the closest sleeping surface and flopping down and refusing to release him til he rests

(Yes Remy’s a Stronk Boi no I will not be taking criticism on this)

Logan tries to resist but he always fails and gives in. He doesn’t always sleep, but he does close his eyes and try to get some basic rest

Remy can also overwork himself, it’s just less frequent- normally it comes when he’s been fixing up the house and he refuses to stop until  e v e r y t h i n g is done

(Yes Remy is also good with his hands and good at fixing things)

Logan, sadly, cannot simply pull Remy away from his work via force

But he can use BLACKMAIL

aka

‘If you don’t come try to rest now I won’t cuddle you when you do >:(’

This is surprisingly effective

The only times it doesn’t work are the time where Remy’s working to distract himself, in which cases Logan refuses to stop talking to him until he admits what’s got him stressed

Then they talk it out and soon enough they end up in bed, cuddling and resting, as the gods intended

To expand upon stronk + fixer Remy:

Remy, when really sleep-deprived, is very clumsy. he has a tendency to manage to break things that weren’t meant to be broken, including a fridge, two sinks, five walls, and a chimney

So, consequently, he’s gotten really good at fixing a lot of various things

This has also made him Stronk

Though he does drink a lot of coffee and tea (one to help him stay up and the other to help him sleep, normally), Remy’s favorite drink is actually hot chocolate

He likes the sweetness of it and he finds more fun in decorating it/flavoring it than with coffee

Logan, too, mostly drinks coffee + tea for their waking and resting qualities, but his preferred drink is generally soda

It helps focus him, so often when he’s working his workspace will become absolutely littered with dozens of cans and bottles of different varieties of soda

Logan and Remy are both amazing and absolutely horrible at communication

They’re surprisingly good at telling each other when they’re upset (it helps that they know each other so well hiding their issues won’t work very long anyways), Logan understanding that not talking over his issues rarely leads to a positive outcome and Remy being naturally inclined to talk about his problems anyways

They are fucking shit at talking about other things though

A bill came in the mail??? Remy dropped it on the table, covered it with a plate on accident, and now Logan won’t know about it until it’s almost too late to pay it

Remy’s mom called? Yeah sure Logan took the call but that doesn’t mean five hours he remembers to tell Remy about it when he gets home

This is due largely in part to both of them having shit memories, for they are gay and don’t sleep enough

Doesn’t change the fact that Logan still has the periodic table memorized or that Remy can name every type of coffee you can get at the local starbucks in alphabetical order- they just have very selective memories

This includes anniversaries and birthdays for the sake that Logan can remember them very well (almost down to the minute) whereas Remy can’t even remember his own birthday

This often leads to Logan giving Remy a birthday cake and Remy considering this to be a ‘surprise party’ (since it wasn’t until that exact moment he realized it was his birthday) and Remy finding sticky notes a week ahead of time reminding him of whatever anniversary is approaching

Sometimes when he’s bored or tired, Logan will doodle/write out equations on Remy’s arms. Personally, he doesn’t really like getting ink on his skin (too messy and hard to wash off), but Remy doesn’t mind it and Logan enjoys writing out the familiar symbols and patterns

Remy knows when Logan prefers a particular equation over the others because he’ll redraw it multiple times. Remy’s written those equations down on paper and plans to one day get tattoos of them

Remy insists he doesn’t care for reading, but every time Logan’s got a book he hangs around, looking over his shoulder and poking Logan to see if he’d just ‘happen to want to read aloud this time’

It’s gotten to the point Logan always picks up two copies of whatever book he’s getting so that Remy can read it too.

Remy pretends he isn’t but every time Logan starts talking about the novel Remy always has additions and counterarguments

He says he’s just basing it off whatever Logan’s said

Logan knows he’s lying but he lets Remy pretend he’s sly

[remusownsmyuwus]

Back in Baltimore

Warnings: Implied abuse, cursing, drugs/drug mentions, the foster care system, violence (some doodles Remus made), death mentions.

Prompt by @lance-alt 

They were barely three. They'd been called in for a special day, so they packed their garbage bags (no one ever donated suitcases, and it wasn't like anyone would give them anything not required by law) early in the morning and ate a rushed, stale breakfast. The woman whose foster home it was crammed them in her van with the other six kids staying with her. There wasn't enough room and since they were the youngest, Remus sat in Roman's lap, looking out the window and bouncing his leg.

They got out at a nice park and the woman explained that today was a day where all the foster kids were going to be here to meet with "possible candidates" and maybe find new moms and dads. Remus picked at the grass, his fingers not yet precise enough to tie the blades into knots. Roman sat next to him, listening attentively until the woman clapped her hands twice.

Roman jumped up, beckoning to Remus. Remus followed, chasing Roman around the yard, his stubby legs propelling him forward.

Roman's foot caught in a hole in the grass in front of two men who were looking around at the kids playing in the park. He fell catastrophically, tumbling over himself and hitting against one of the men's legs.

"Well hello there!" The man said to Roman, ignoring Remus who had run up behind his brother, checking to see if he was hurt.

The man reached down, helping Roman to his feet. "I'm Corbin," he said, and then gestured to the man next to him. "This is Sloan, my husband."

"I'm Roman!" Roman said. Remus stood behind him. He wanted to speak, introduce himself, but... Roman looked so happy. And Remus suddenly felt very uncomfortable. This wasn't his place, not at all. Maybe.... Maybe these were Roman's new dads, and maybe.... Maybe Remus would find new parents somewhere else.

He walked away, sniffling. He didn't want to cry in front of Roman, then Roman would try to cheer him up. And that would be... That would be... A bad way to say goodbye.

★★★★★★★

"Fucking hell. I fucking hate Baltimore." Remus slung the garbage bag over his shoulder. He'd been kicked out of another foster home (this time for selling drugs, which sucked, because not only was he caught, but he had also been here a good few months and actually had a few regular clients.) And now he was going back to Baltimore. Home-sweet-fucking-home, Baltimore. There hadn't been any open houses in the area so booting his scrawny seventeen year old ass over a state and into his least favorite city was obviously the best thing to do.

He'd start at his new school tomorrow. He stepped down, thanking the bus driver, and relished the silence walking to his new temporary home. As he walked up the short pathway to the door, he heard yelling inside. Good to set your expectations right early, right?

He knocked on the door, rather loudly, and the yelling stopped.

"Oh, hello, uh...." Said a wiry woman who came to the door.

"Remus. Your new.... Kid," he supplied. He adjusted the garbage bag on his shoulder, hearing some of his few prized possessions clink together at the bottom of the bag.

"Right, right, come on in. You'll be sharing a room with Virgil, since you and him are about the same age." The woman beckoned him in, showing him up the stairs and into a room that was papered with band posters.

"'Sup," said a emo boy sitting in one of the three beds in the room. "I'm Virgil, but you can call me Virge. I guess we're roomies now?"

"That's basically the deal, yeah. I'm Remus." Remus walked to one of the beds and set his garbage bag down gently on it.

"Weird name."

"Says the guy named after a Roman poet who wrote about bees and flowers," Remus looked over his shoulder, watching the boy of maybe fifteen or sixteen crack a smile.

"Touché."

"What grade are you in? And do you go to the local public highschool? Because I'll need a tour guide tomorrow." Remus started to pull things out of his trash bag ""suitcase"" and organizing them.

"Tenth, and yeah. I'll take you around." Virgil hummed along to the song playing in his headphones.

"Fucking Baltimore."

★★★★★★★

A substitute teacher for his first class on his first day of a new school. Fucking spectacular.

"Hello class, I'm Ms. Mason. I'll be your substitute for today. First off, roll call." The teacher, about 30, with short brown hair, bent down and retrieved a clipboard, brushing some hair out of her face, and started to read names.

"Duke, Remus?" She said, after a few names.

"Here." He'd been garnering looks since he came in, because having a new student is fun and exciting for everyone else.

The teacher nodded, moving on down the list. Remus ears pricked. "Prince, Roman?" Remus looked around, somewhat frantically.

"Here," Said a boy with light brown hair, a few rows in front of Remus.

Remus craned his neck, trying desperately to get a look at Roman's face. It was super duper unlikely, but there's only so many "Roman"s in Baltimore. Remus thought about the name. If he really was.... Remus couldn't even think it.... If he really was him, then when he'd gotten adopted he'd changed his name... He'd upgraded, from a Duke to a Prince.

Ms. Mason finished calling roll, setting down the clipboard and picking up a thick stack of papers. "This is your worksheet for today, it's due at the end of the period." She maneuvered around the teacher's desk, handing out papers. Remus took one distractedly, still watching the back of Roman's head.

He didn't dare to hope, and yet here he was, hoping, desperately. Desperately, that this was his Roman. His brother.

He spent the rest of the class nervously fidgeting with his paper, doodling people's heads being cut off and swords being shoved through people's guts. When the bell rang he had already stuffed the paper in his bag, and he made his way toward Roman. What if he was wrong? He couldn't be. But what if he was?

"Do you need anything?" A voice said with a thick New York accent, and Remus met the eyes of a tall, thin boy wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses.

"Your number?" Remus cocked his eyebrow. If the boy was straight he'd be scared off and if he was gay... Well, Remus wouldn't mind.

The boy leaned down a bit, hugging Remus around the neck. "Type this into your phone," he whispered, starting to say his phone number after Remus had opened his contacts app. "And, the name is Remy, by the way. Toodles, babes."

Remus grinned, typing in the name and putting his phone in his pocket. He looked up, only to see the last of his classmates filtering out, and no Roman in sight. Fuck.

★★★★★★★

His next two classes were fine. He didn't pay attention, mind too distracted by Roman and Remy...

The lunch bell rang, and Remus was already out the door of AP calculus, pulling out his phone and tapping Remy's name.

"Babes?" Came the sarcastic, New York accented voice.

"Where can I meet you for lunch? It's Remus, by the way. From first period."

"A building, the one by the West gate. I'll be at the door and we can drop by Starbucks or something."

Remus hung up, walking through campus until he found the A building and spotting a shiny pair of sunglasses. "Hey there Remy. You said something about Starbucks?"

"Hey babes! Nice to see you again," Remy slung an arm over Remus' shoulders. "And yes. Starbies."

Remus chuckled. "Which direction?"

Remy gestured with his free hand, slipping his phone in his pocket. "What brings you to Baltimore? The big b?"

"Got kicked out. Again." Remus shook his head at Remy's concerned look. "Don't worry, my birth parents are dead." Remus laughed at Remy's shocked expression. "Don't worry about it. But, any chances you know that Roman Prince guy?"

"Yeah, we've talked a few times. Talks a lot about his dads, real family loving kid. I guess." Remy blew some hair out of his face, gesturing for Remus to turn a corner.

Remus was practically holding his breath. "And his dads, do you know their names?"

"Corbin and... Sloan? Shaun?"

"Sloan." Remus pushed open the doors of the Starbucks. "That's definitely him, then. My brother. Roman Duke. Or well, these days, Roman Prince."

"Isn't that dramatic? Damn, your life is like a soap opera or some shit, babes."

"Yeah, I guess," Remus laughed. "What do you want?"

★★★★★★★

Ask if you want part 2?

[maddie-the-princess]

If You Love Me, Let Me Go Part 3

Fandom: Sanders Sides

AU: High School 

Pairing(s): LAMP

Summary: Virgil and his family are new to the neighborhood. He starts a new school where he learns to love himself, and maybe, love his new friends. 

Warnings: Mild language, Gay panic, Slight panic attack

Thank you to @kuroyurishion for helping me with this chapter. Please enjoy the story. 

Chapter Three: Logan, Remus, Remy, and Roman

Virgil’s POV

I compared schedules with Dee and found out we had most classes together. The morning was split into three classes, then lunch, and then another three classes. In the morning I had Math, Science, and History. In the afternoon, I had a Study Hall, English, and then Art. I shared most classes with Dee except for Science, History, and Art. Dee was taking Psychology as his science while I took Anatomy. As for History, Dee was taking Public Speaking as his course. And when I had Art, Dee had Study Hall. I quickly packed my things and stood up before I heard the bell ring.

“C’mon shortstack, I’ll walk you to your next class. Mine is in the same direction.” Dee said, walking out of the classroom. The two of us walked down the hall, talking about how the school works, before stopping in front of what looked like a science lab. “Here you go shortstack.” Dee said, waving goodbye as he walked to his class. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the classroom. 

The science teacher looked a lot nicer than the math teacher. He smiled at me and gestured to his desk. “Welcome to science class Mr. Sullivan!” he exclaimed politely. “I’m Mr. Williams and I’ll be your Anatomy teacher this year. I understand that you took both Biology and Chemistry in your old school, correct?” he asked. I nodded to his questions. “Wonderful. I told everybody about you coming here last week, and the class is ready to make you comfortable. Here, take your textbook and syllabus. Your seat is in the back of class.” He smiled apologetically at that last statement. I gave him a brief smile and a nod of thanks before taking my seat and taking out my things. I doodled in my notebook while waiting. 

The rest of the class shuffled in, some of them looking in my direction curiously. I didn’t look up from my doodles until I heard Mr. Williams got out of his seat after taking attendance. I snapped my head up. I like science class better than math because at least there’s an explanation for something. And anatomy is pretty cool too, which is a bonus.

“Alright class, today we will continue our study of the human body by looking at the human body’s cells. Now, who can tell me what the study of cells is called?” No one in the class answered Mr. Williams right away. I racked my brain for the answer. It was definitely something I learned in freshman year at my old school.

‘Cytology.’ I thought to myself, going to raise my hand, but I stopped. Should I actually raise my hand and answer? What if I get the question wrong? Will everyone laugh at me? Oh god, Mr. Williams seems like a pretty nice guy, so if I answer wrong and he’s disappointed in me, he’s gonna see that I’m such a dumbass. My thoughts were spiraling until I hear Mr. Williams call on someone. 

“Cytology is the scientific study of cells. Cytology is mainly used to screen for cancer or other diagnosis.” a cool voice answered. I looked over to see who answered. It was a boy about my age. He had dark brown hair and matching eyes and wore glasses. He wore a black polo and dark washed jeans with a dark blue tie and black shoes. He looked stoic and dedicated to his work. I cursed. 

‘Oh of course I get to sit next to a nerd. He’s a hot nerd, but- ok, Virgil let’s stop these thoughts right now before you have a gay panic.’ I thought to myself, fighting the blush that was appearing on my face. I quickly turned my head so he wouldn’t notice me staring at him. The class continued like that. Mr. Williams would lecture and ask questions, Mr. Owens answers, and I get to stare at my neighbor while also taking notes. I just hoped and prayed to whatever cryptid out there that he didn’t notice me. Those prayers didn’t work.

Why? Because Mr. Williams let us have the last five minutes of class to ourselves with our only homework will be to study the lesson we had today. Quickly, I put my books away and buried my head in my arms, groaning quietly. I needed to breathe, so I turned my head. I saw Mr. Owens reading a book, and with the sunlight streaming through the window, he looked even better than before. I froze. ‘Nope, not happening. I’m not gonna have a gay panic over this one.’ I thought desperately. I didn’t notice I was still staring at my seatmate until he turned and looked at me curiously. He smirked, like he knew I was sneaking glances at him, and winked. 

He winked. At me. 

When the bell rang, I gathered my things and bolted out of the classroom and tried to find my next class. 

***

I had lunch with Dee. I walked into the bustling cafeteria, scanning for my one and only friend. He spotted me first and waved me over, and I walked toward him and his table and sat down next to him. 

“Hey there short stack.” Dee greeted me fondly. “How were your morning classes?” I gave him a groan in response and he laughed at me. How dare he. “Lift your head up, short stack, I want you to meet some people.” I groan again but comply. Dee smirks and it’s now I notice there were two other teens at the table. One of them was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses, even though we were inside, and sipping a Starbucks coffee. The other had messy brown hair and wore a green shirt and black pants. 

“‘Sup babe.” the teen wearing the leather jacket teased. “The name’s Remy Anderson.” I blushed lightly at his teasing

“And I’m Remus King!” the other teen piped up. He took his fork and started poking Dee with it. “And who’s this little one?”

“My name is Virgil Sullivan. I just moved here.” I introduced myself, then I glared at Remus. “And I’m not little.” This caused Remus to cackle out loud, drawing other people’s attention to us. I lowered my head instinctively.

“Holy shit Double Dee.” Remus breathed. “I like him already!”

“He is kinda cute, isn’t he.” Remy mused, sipping his drink. 

The rest of lunch passed with us bantering and eating. I felt comfortable with these guys. They seemed cool, and we all have some things in common. We exchanged numbers before the lunch bell rang. Maybe this school will be different from the others.

***

Everything went smoothly until after study hall. I thought I could get through the end of the day without any more issues. I was wrong. So very wrong. Study hall was spent by doing homework while listening to music and doodling in my notebook. Mostly, it was me daydreaming about the people I met. After study hall, I gathered my books in my arms and was out of the room and into the hallway. 

I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, so I accidentally bump into someone, knocking my books to the ground. The other person and I both groaned and I kneeled to pick up my things. This was embarrassing. The other quickly joined on the floor, helping me. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Il said shyly. He was a mess today. 

“Ah, no, don’t apologize. I should apologize because I bumped into you.” the other person said quickly. The two worked to gather all of Virgil’s books and stood up. It wasn’t until l put my books in my bag that I realized the other teen was staring at my sketchbook with wide eyes. He kept staring at the sketchbook while I stared at him. The other teen looked very handsome. He looked like Remus, but his attire was more refined and cleaner. He wore a red shirt and blue jeans with matching red converse. He had dark brown eyes and slightly tanned skin. 

‘Oh no. I think I’m gonna panic because of this one.’ I thought helplessly. He looked over with me with a wide smile. 

“These drawings are really good!” he complemented, holding out my book. I squeaked out my thanks before taking my sketchbook and dashing away. My breathing was getting heavy and I could feel the heat on my face. I could feel people looking at me and whispering. I raced towards the bathroom and leaned over the edge of the sink. Thank goodness no one was there to see me panic. I leaned against the wall and slid down, pulling my knees to my chest. I took a deep breath in, trying to calm down, but I couldn’t. I buried my head in between my knees.

I didn’t hear the bathroom door open, so I didn’t notice another person standing there until they called out to me. 

“Are you alright?” I heard a familiar voice asked. It was Mr. Owens from  Anatomy class. “May I touch you?”

I nodded my consent and I felt two hands gently grasp my hands. “You need to breathe for me Virgil.” he said. “Follow my breathing.” And I did. I followed his rhythmic breathing. In for four counts, holding it for seven counts, and then exhaling for eight counts. We did this repeatedly until I was ok, picking my head up from my knees. “Good job Virgil.” he said, helping me up. 

“Thank you.” I said gratefully, my heart hammering in my chest. “You’re the guy in my science class. I never got your name.” . 

“Ah. my apologies. My name is Logan Owens, pleasure to meet you.” he replied. “And I would shake your hand, but…” I followed his gaze to where he held my hand. I gasped and went to remove my hand and apologize, but he held on when I tried to let go. He smirked at me and squeezed them reassuringly. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I just wanna make sure you’re not going to panic again.” he said. He pulled me out of the bathroom, still holding my hand. “You have English class next, yes? You’re new here, so I’ll take you there. 

‘No. no, you stupid hot nerd, you’re going to be the reason I’ll be in a panic again.’ I thought. Thankfully, the hallways were nearly empty when we got out, so no one really was paying us any attention. He led me all the way to English class. Before he left for his own class, he squeezed my hand one last time. “Have fun in there, short stuff.” He left me gaping. 

English class went the same way as Science did. She explained that her English class will be more interactive because she enjoys making students partner up and do projects. She gave me a textbook and syllabus and pointed to my desk right near the window. I sat down and watched the students walk in, including the handsome teen that bumped into me. He dramatically greeted the teacher, who’s name was Mrs. Davis, and everybody else in class. Then he noticed me and his smile somehow became brighter. 

‘Oh god, please don’t let your desk be next to mine.’ I prayed desperately. Again, my prayers were not answered as he plopped down in the desk next to mine. 

“It’s you! The one with the pretty sketchbook!” he exclaimed loudly. 

“Keep your voice down.” I whisper to him. I didn’t want to have any attention on me. “I’m Virgil Sullivan.”

The teen smiled apologetically. “I’m Roman King!” he stage whispered. “It’s a pleasure to finally introduce myself to you.” 

I opened my mouth to say more, but Mrs. Davis quieted the class and began her lesson. She said the class will start their first book of the year, and today would be an introductory day for it. She passed out papers about The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and advised us to look over them tonight. Then she concluded her lesson and let us have ten minutes of free time. Roman turned to me. 

“So, tell me gatito, what do you have after this class?” he asked innocently. Oh of course the handsome boy next to me can speak a different language. Of course. 

“Art.” I managed out, blushing when he smiled. 

“Are you gonna show off your pretty drawings to the teacher? I think he’ll be impressed once he sees them.” 

I pursed my lips as I looked at my closed sketchbook. “You think so? My art really isn’t pretty.”

Roman gasped. “How dare you say that about your art! Your art is absolutely beautiful. Magnificent! Stunning!” he rambled, complimenting my artwork as I stared at him in disbelief. No one has ever complimented my art before. People always said it was weird and not creative. The bell rang when Roman was still talking. “I’ll see you later, gatito, ok? Get to class safely.” he teased. I didn’t need to be told twice. I waved him a goodbye and went to my last class.

As I walked into Art I was greeted by Patton, who was happily smiling. He grabbed my hand and brought me over to a man who I’m guessing was the teacher. “Hello, I’m Mr. Moore. You must be Virgil.” He smiled softly, I nodded and he told me about what we would be doing in art and told me I could sit wherever I would like. Patton, who was still holding my hand, brought me over to one of the desks and we sat down, and after a few minutes the rest of the class had come in and we started on the lesson. Mr. Moore had decided to give us an easy day and let us sketch whatever we wanted to, as long as it had some sort of meaning behind it. Patton and I started talking about random things and I looked over to see small puppies and kittens scattered on Patton’s page as he talked with me. 

“Um, Pat you do know that it’s supposed to have meaning behind it right?” He looked back with an ‘Oh’ sort of expression.

“They do have meaning! Well, sort of… They’re just so cute I couldn’t help myself!” I giggled softly at the bubbly boy’s reaction and went back to my drawing. “So what are you drawing Virge?” Patton peaked over my shoulder trying to see my drawing and I pulled it off to the side in embarrassment. 

“Please? I won’t judge you or anything!” He pouted giving me the cutest pair puppy dog eyes. After a minute or so I moved my arms away so he could see, Dang those puppy dog eyes! “Ooh Is that a raven?! It’s beautiful Kiddo!” I nodded and blushed in response. “Aw, you're such a Lil cutie pie!” 

‘Ahhhhh! Pat, not you too!’ I mentally screamed. I felt my face heat up for what was like the umpteenth time today, This school is definitely different from my last. Maybe it’s because there are a lot of pretty and cool boys here and wow I’m a disaster. Fortunately, before I spiraled further, the bell rang. Patton and I gathered our things and walked out the door. We stopped by our lockers before walking out of school. 

“Bye kiddo! See you tomorrow!” he exclaimed and hugged me before walking off. I stood there, frozen for a couple moments before walking home in a daze. My parents weren’t home, probably because they were at their new jobs, and I was so glad they weren’t because they would have seen my blushing face and questioned me relentlessly. Taking some food with me from the cupboards upstairs to my room, I locked my door behind me and attempted to do whatever homework I had.

When it was late at night, I reflected on my first day in my bed. I made a couple new friends, and I’ve met three people who sent me into a gay panic one after another. Groaning, I turned over in my bed. Hopefully, I won’t panic when I see them tomorrow. 

Anyone wanna be in my taglist? Let me know! 

Taglist: 

@sure-i-exist

[that-bat]

@the-ruler-of-rabbits​ I made it :)

I should be working on the actual designs but instead I’m writing pretty much everything design related about the Gem AU, probably nothing about the actual story will be mentioned unless it’s something I know I’ve talked about before

The Original Three

I first started these designs a year ago after messing around on the gemsona creator because I was bored. I made Matt, Mark, and Nate then drew them based off the designs I made. Mark’s design has changed the least, the only two differences are the addition of his stripes and he used to have glasses. The style of the glasses is the exact same as the ones I gave to his fusion with Matt, Tiger’s Eye. I’m not going to show what the original looked like because a year ago my art was trash and no one will ever see the original three designs

Matt’s has also not changed much, his outfit is the only big thing to be different. Originally it was a lot more like Peridot’s in the show, with the yellow diamonds on his knees and chest. He also had four eyes and four arms when I first designed him but I dropped the extra eyes when I drew him for the first time. And he’s a Peridot and Ruby fusion because of the matching Game and Film Theory colors. 

Nate’s has changed the most. In the very first drawing he was much more of a darker purple than the blue he is now, and he had no yellow. His outfit hasn’t changed too much aside from the colors. This is the latest of his designs (not the one I’m currently working on) recolored with his original colors. 

I also considered making half of his hair yellow and still am thinking about it for his newest design

The Outcasts

Since everyone else is a lot newer there’s not as many changed but there are quite a few little details I like. I think when I first started actually making this AU Nate had just released or announced (I can’t remember) his cover of Other Friends so I had a doodle of Mare as Spinel. The lines on Spinel’s face matched the tearstreaks on Mare’s so I liked that idea. But then I liked Remus as a Spinel much more and it works more for my stroy. I breifly considered making Mare a Lapis like Nate but still wanted a way to mimic his tearstreaks so a Jasper was what I went with. And I made him a defective Jasper because in my mind Mare is tiny. 

I don’t remember much of my thought process for Phantom but I did like the idea of him as an Emerald since the Emerald in the show is fantastic. But Emeralds are green so I did some research and found that Emeralds are just green Beryls which also come in red. So just like the Emerald in the show he was in charge of a fleet of ships until he was corrupted. Emerald had two pointed teeth in the show so after Phantom’s corruption those fangs were slightly larger and would poke out when he smiled. I temporarily considered making him a Jade because I saw a cool picture of a red and black jade but Janus fit better as a Jade.

Mad was always going to be a Pearl. I don’t know why, he just was. His baseball bat is not his actual Gem weapon since Pearls don’t have them unless they’re given one, he actually stole it when they first came to Earth. The reason it changes from a wooden bat to a metal one between two of his designs is because the first one breaks during a fight. Mare gets him a new one as a gift (it’s also stolen, they don’t know what money is). When I draw Mad normally I draw him with burn scars all over the left side of his body and a grey eye (he’s blind in that eye) which is why I placed his gem on his left eye and that’s also the reasoning behind why it’s cracked. I did the same thing with placing Janus’ Gem on his left cheek to mimic his scales

The Crystal Gems

These guys swapped places so many times. For awhile I considered making Thomas Connie and having either Patton or Roman be Steven. There was a time I wanted Roman to be Greg but because I wanted him to be more involved in the story I swapped him somewhere else (still a secret). For awhile I was going to have someone else solely take up Garnet’s spot instead of having it be Virgil and Logan. If I had done that then they would’ve been Lapis and Peridot respectively. There was a lot with this group when it came to figuring out where everyone was going. But the designs were fun at least. 

Getting Emile’s colors right was pretty tricky but something I personally like is what I did with the color of his star. In his earlier design (not the homeworld one) the star was pink like how in the first Cartoon Therapy his tie was a similar shade of pink. Then, like in the second Cartoon Therapy, in his later/current design the star is blue. This is one of my favorite subtle little features.

The design on the chest part of Logan’s dress is sort of meant to slightly mimic the appearance of a tie, the triangle at the top reminds me of the top of a tie. Phantom is the only other one to have a similar design on his shirt. 

The other four designs aren’t too special. Thomas has the exact same outfit as Steven, Remy’s is very similar to Amethyst’s except green and Virgil’s is just pretty plain. Moonstone’s hair has “stars” in it because I wanted to incorporate the same design has Logan’s dress.

That’s about all I can think of right now, I really love talking about these guys so questions are both encouraged and greatly appreciated since they help motivate me to keep working. I’m fine with questions about the story and there are plently I’m willing to answer but there might be some story questions I won’t answer yet. Also just any questions about any au or art in general or literally anything are always welcome

[skeletaldarling]

Chase The Fire Away Chapter 1

Planning This Wedding Is Going To Suck 

AO3

Prologue 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Summary: Remy and Virgil making wedding decisions and we meet Remus! 

Ship: Sleepxiety, and platonic Intruality 

Word Count: 1279 

Warnings: Dark sides, Remus “The Duke”, blood drinking, blood, vampires 

Virgil groaned as he rested his face in his arms on the table in front of him. “I hate this!”

Remy rubbed his fiance’s back from behind his chair. “I know, babes. I know. But we need a venue that works with our possible dates, and we need to pick one before anything else can happen.”

Virgil groaned louder and flopped back in his chair. “Planning this wedding is going to suck!”

Remy laughed, leaning down over Virgil to bump their noses together affectionately. “But then afterwards, we’ll be married. How does that sound, future Mr Sanders?”

Virgil sighed. “Pretty good,” he admitted. 

“Mmm,” Remy hummed. “Pretty good.” He kissed Virgil slowly. “C’mon, baby. Help me pick a venue and then we’ll take a break.” 

“Ugh…”

“Just give me a top three!” Remy insisted. “And I can take it from there, ’kay?”

Virgil sighed. “Fine.”

"Yes!" Remy peppered his cheeks with kisses. "Mm, thank you, baby!" 

Virgil pulled Remy's hot pink wedding binder forward and flicked through his options. 

Remy pointed as he explained the system. "Okay, they're organized by the dates each place was available, and I've already taken out places that couldn't do Fridays or weekends. Every date is next year, ranging between September and November, because I know my boo loves autumn." 

Virgil rolled his eyes. 

"Which leaves us with these nine places. Choose your top three while I make us some coffee." 

"Okay, Emile's house and your dads' house are in here." 

"Hey I asked before I added them, promise."

It took them a little while, and there was a lot of arguing over each other's reasoning. But finally, Virgil selected his favourites and Remy picked the top one. "What do you think, V?" 

"I think we're getting married in your dads' back garden and you need to tell them before you forget." 

"Okay fine," Remy grabbed his phone. "Go make me coffee." 

"You just had coffee!" 

"I'm thirsty!- Dad! Hi," Remy poked his tongue out at Virgil and went to talk to his dad in the living room. "Hey so we were just discussing venues…" 

Virgil waited for him to finish the call before joining him in the lounge. Remy tossed his phone onto the couch. "No coffee?" 

Virgil rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous." He sat right next to him and straddled Remy's lap. "I'm thirsty." 

Remy wiggled his eyebrows. Virgil just punched his arm. "Can I have a drink?" 

"C'mere, boo." Remy moved his head to expose more of his neck and Virgil licked his lips, wasting no time in sinking his teeth into the soft, cocoa skin. 

Remy grinned at the familiar feeling, he forced himself to wait a few moments before he squeezed Virgil's waist, signaling that it was time to stop. 

Virgil pulled back, cleaned up any dripping blood and licked the bite mark to heal it. 

Remy grinned, kissing Virgil's red stained lips. "Feel good?" 

"Mhmm," Virgil licked his lips. 

"Oh you're just too cute," Remy teased. "I love you." 

"Love you too, Rem." Virgil grabbed the remote. "Now get comfy, we're watching Umbrella Academy again."  

+++

Patton studied his English assignment with furrowed eyebrows as he walked down the hall. He had the whole weekend to finish it but he still wasn't quite sure what to do.  

Patton felt himself trip and he yelped, falling to his knees with a painful slam. His books flew from his arms to the floor and Patton was suddenly very thankful he'd only been holding a couple of exercise books and a book he was halfway through reading. His laptop still safely tucked inside his bag. 

Patton swallowed a curse and growled in frustration. There was a sudden clatter behind him and he turned to see the nearest locker had burst open spontaneously. Patton frowned and started grabbing his books when someone crouched down to help. 

"Graceful," the stranger teased. 

Patton blushed.

The stranger handed him the other two books. "I'm Remus." 

"Thanks. Um, I’m Patton." 

The two of them talked for the rest of the day, having heaps of classes in common and a similar route home. 

Remus was sort of weird, and his humour was dark, but he was also funny and actually seemed pretty nice. He walked Patton home, and waved goodbye as Patton opened his gate. 

"See ya!" 

Patton waved. "Bye, Remus!" 

Remus scampered off down the path again and Patton walked into his house. He set his bag by the door. "Dad?" 

Emile was in the kitchen, wiping down the bench. "Hey, pumpkin. How was school?" 

Patton shrugged. "School was school." 

"Do anything new?" 

"I have an English assignment due on Monday." Patton grabbed an apple. "And I met this guy, Remus. He's in a bunch of my classes. I like him." 

"Yeah?" Emile smiled. "Good. I'm glad you made a friend." 

Patton swallowed his mouthful of fruit. "I'm going to go do my English now." 

"Have fun, honey." 

Patton went up to his room with his computer and the rest of his apple. He sat on the window seat and set his computer on his lap, opening up his homework and staring at the screen until it made any sort of sense. 

Patton could only work for maybe half an hour before his task became too boring for him to even be able to focus. He opened up Spotify and linked his computer to the blue speaker on his desk to play something distracting. 

He leaned his head back against the wall behind him and looked around his room. It had been little under a month since he’d moved here and Emile and Logan had quickly taken care of his room, ensuring that Patton loved it. 

His bed covers were grey and white striped but covered in a million pillows and cushions. There were two beanbags in the corner and above it were art prints of cats and dogs. Glow in the dark stars were scattered around the walls and ceilings, clumped together in mini groups. His desk was full of cute pens and notepads as well as proper art supplies. There was also a pin board that was already holding a few sketches and doodles.

Patton looked out the window at their back garden. He watched Logan’s vegetable patch and the flower bushes that lined the grass. The little wooden shed tucked in the corner. The one big tree that sat right in the centre of it all. It was pretty. Simple yes, but still very beautiful. A perfectly normal garden. That’s part of what appealed to Patton - the normality of living with Emile and Logan. 

It was so nice and pretty here in this house, and his new dads were just so normal and kind to Patton. He liked the idea of ‘normal’ after a lifetime of being the weird orphan kid. 

Patton watched a couple of birds play in the tree as his thoughts slowly turned to Remus. He wished he was still talking to him. Remus, while not typically normal, was fun to be around with his loud energy and odd sense of humour. 

The first bird bounced onto a higher branch and wiggled triumphantly. Their friend hopped up to join them and flew off again, singing and dancing around each other. Patton smiled at the spot where the birds had been playing. He blinked as he noticed a flower suddenly in that spot. Patton swallowed. That had always been there. It must’ve been. Flowers didn’t just appear out of nowhere. 

When Emile came to tell Patton that dinner was in a few minutes, Patton realised with a start that the sun was beginning to set. He took a deep breath. “Coming, Dad!”

Taglist: @sander-sideblog

[thesarcasticside]

SANDER SIDES ENGINEERING MAJOR COLLEGE AU

This is self indulgent, not gonna lie

Everyone goes to a generic large-ish liberal arts college with a ‘very good’ engineering program. 

Patton switched to biology after his first year because it didn’t feel right for him. He was a civil before he switched. 

He was at first pressured by his parents to ‘try’ engineering, so he humored them for a while, thinking it would be easy to switch out. As he went through his first year, he began to dread both staying in engineering and leaving engineering. (Because major changes are stressful for all sorts of reasons, like expectations and finances!) Yet his heart was telling him he wanted to work with people or animals, not buildings and structures. (Engineering is not for everyone and STEM has a very large switch out rate. Everyone is super smart in this au and Patton switching out doesn’t mean he is not smart.)

Roman is double majoring in mechanical engineering and theater and he is DYING. (If you ask me why mechanical, idk he has the vibe)

Logan is an electrical with a minor in math because I say so goshdangit.

Logan loves spreadsheets... but nobody else does.

Virgil is a computer engineer who is getting a minor in computer science.

Roman is a year ahead of Logan, Patton, and Virgil, but he and Logan are in the same math classes. (Either Logan is REALLY ahead in math, or Roman is not, which would be really unfortunate for a double major.)

Roman grades Patton and Virgil’s papers, and Patton doodles on his HW. Roman leaves notes for both of them, and they have small conversations back and forth.

Patton doodled pumpkins on his paper, and Roman wrote OH MY GOURD and that made Patton’s day after he had a rough test and was starting to doubt his major choice. 

After this, they have a lot of inside jokes that are really just puns and Roman is super ecstatic whenever Patton doodles something disney.

Virgil wrote “I tried” or “There goes my will to live” on his assignment, and Roman immediately wanted to find him and give him a hug but instead made sure to always write encouraging messages for him.

Roman and Logan sit next to each other in math and ROmAN Won’T SHUT UP!

Logan and Virgil know each other because all EEs and CEs know each other I don’t make the rules and also because there are so few of them.

Patton tried so hard to bake in the dorm kitchen, but he had hardly any actual baking supplies, so it was a bit of a disaster.

Patton had a really rough freshman year but nobody knew about it until Logan found him crying alone in one of Logan’s more secluded study spots at the end of the year, and Logan helped him through both his panic attack and the major switching process. 

Remus is going to nursing school but is also considering just doing pre-med. He shares a lot of the same classes with Patton after Patton switches majors.

Dee is criminology and pre-law.

Virgil and Logan are roommates. Patton and Dee are roommates. Remus and Roman are roommates

Roman “I couldn’t fix a papercut in a bandaid factory” Prince and Remus “I watch and talk about bloody ER shows while I eat dinner” Prince

Logan thinks Patton is delightful and fun to hang around, but also wonders why Patton would want Logan as a friend because Logan thinks that he is boring and uncool and a lot of things that he believes make him uninteresting to hang out with. 

Meanwhile, Patton thinks Logan is so smart and so talented and really enjoys hearing him talk about the things he’s passionate about like astronomy, electricity, renewable energy, philosophy, or whatever Logan is studying at the moment.

Logan and Remy are from the south because Y’ALLSEHOOD and Remy with a drawl is to die for. I am also in love with “When He Sees Me” for Logicallity (THERE ARE ANIMATICS ON YOUTUBE AND I CAN’T EVEN) so this also applies to the au.

Roman is very smart in this au and often feels torn between his two creativities. Also having to choose between STEM and the arts is such a mood.

Because whenever Roman thinks about it, he thinks it would be much more practical and easier to go with engineering because of job security and money but it breaks his heart at the same because he desperately wants to be an actor.

They are all part of the robotics club: the robot they are building is named Thomas.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

Here you go @peachy-pidge :)

[kimberlyannharts]

chip goes back to new york to buy comics: a post

SO OKAY you guys know that i met amy jo johnson in person (!!!!!!!), got her to sign one of my ranger slayer variants, and got the TMNT/MMPR preview - but some other cool stuff happened in my single day of NYCC!

- so being the dumb glassesfucker i am amy wearing glasses kinda made me short-circuit and the first thing i said to her was WOW YOU LOOK GREAT IN GLASSES and she said i looked great in mine so it’s okay.  she also said she had an amazing time at TIFF and agreed that these big cons can get overwhelming so it’s chill!!!!

- i also had kind of a dudebro moment in line bc the guys in front of me had a figure for her to sign and it had an ad for andros and ashley figures in the back - they were like “idk what type those are i think they’re zeo” and i leaned over without pretense and said “actually they’re in space” so maybe the dudebro is inside all of us

- RYAN PARROTT REMEMBERED ME FROM POWER MORPHICON LAST YEAR WHICH?  I WAS NOT EXPECTING?  i went up to him at the signing and he was immediately like HEY I KNOW YOU so maybe he’s my best friend now

- i gave sina his tomberly variant from issue 1 to sign and he was immediately like “man there’s so much about this i would change now” so That Artist Feel

- he said apparently he originally wanted the pterodactyl zord to be in blaster mode?  but saban said no because that only happened with the toys, not on the show.  apparently saban was super protective of how their stuff was portrayed, which matches up to stuff dean said in the commentary of the 2017 movie.  it’s saban’s fault the rangers couldn’t say fuck

- i handed out some of my stickers and they loved them!!!!!!  i showed sina my tomberly one and he was like OH YES I WANT THAT ONE so ultimate solidarity

- i saw marguerite at artist’s alley and we chatted a little about beyond the grid!!!  i told her it meant a lot to make ari and remi officially a couple, and she was glad to hear that - apparently i’m the first one to say that to her?????  so this fandom deserves no rights and whoever pushed back against ari/remi until the very last issue deserves no rights as well

- tbh a good chunk of the talk with the authors was freaking out about the artists WE GOTTA GIVE THEM THEIR CREDIT

- also whenever i showed the authors that amy signed my cover they were just. floored.  like OH MY GOD YOU GOT AMY TO SIGN IT?  WHERE IS SHE?  so we are all love amy jo johnson.

- daniele and simone were so fun to talk to!!!!!!  tbh it was mostly daniele bc simone was busy with commissions but it was so great to talk about drawing power rangers!!!  daniele agrees that helmets are the hardest things to draw, ESPECIALLY drakkon’s they’re so HARD 

- apparently the omega rangers went through about 15 designs before they settled on the final one - they’re supposed to invoke a mystical, ancient feel with the elements 

- i told daniele that i’ll yell at ryan if necessary evil gets as sad as shattered grid and he said i definitely should.  so fear.png

- simone and daniele also got stickers, and daniele recognized my style from this doodle??????  that i posted over a year ago??????  and he still thought it was funny??????

so tbh if i ever get a big break at boom i’m gonna have to thank this silly thing

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Excuse me! But where is my Sanders Sides Gamer AU???

Voices in my head: Gee Bunny, it seems you have no problem writing a lot of other fics and stuff yet you still haven’t even finished the next chapter of your Spiderverse fic???

Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP DISEMBODIED VOICES IN MY HEAD!!! IF YOU WANT THAT FIC DONE SO BADLY TELL MY LOGIC AND CREATIVITY TO GET THEIR ASSES IN GEAR AND GIVE ME SOME GOD DAMN INSPIRATION!!!!

Voices in my head:.....

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought! Anyways, idk if I just missed a memo or something but I haven’t seen any Gamer AU of my boys and that is a crime in and of itself! Like, how dare! But fret not, I am here to provide content (Read: headcannons) that you did not ask for! Let us begin! Or should I say start!

(please note that I am not a gaming expert so feel free to add or correct stuff)

NOW WITH A PART 2!!!!

MAIN SQUAD

Roman Rosewood

Obviously loves RPGs! Anything with a good story line really! Or has medieval fantasy aesthetic!

Skyrim, Diablo, Undertale, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Fallout, Red Dead Redemption, Undertales, Dragon Age, God of War Dark Souls, Assassins Creed, Earthbound, etc.

Played West of Loathing just so he could rip on it but actually ended up loving it and spending way to many hours playing. Then he found out there was a game called Kingdom of Loathing by the same creators and went down that rabbit hole as well.

He was iffy about getting into JRPGs but then Virgil convinced him to play Persona 5 and he absolutely fell in love with the music!

All the music in his phone is either from musicals or Video games!

Also really likes choose your own adventure games like Detroit: Become Human, Life is Strange, and Telltale Games

So much video game merch! Usually figurines because he likes to make little shelves and display cases for them.

He also really likes multiplayer games because he’s a social butterfly and likes to play with his squad.

Sucks at first person shooter games but still willingly plays Fortnight or Call of Duty or Left for Dead with his friends because he doesn’t want to be a drag and complain. But also they sometimes die in game in the most hilarious ways and it just leaves everybody wheezing.

Virgil Dante

Horror games, obvs!

All about that dark aesthetic!

Devil May Cry, Silent Hill, Fran Bow, Sally Face, Resident Evil, The Witch’s House, Amnesia, Little Nightmares, Bendy and The Ink Machine, Alice: Madness Returns, SCP-Containment, Pony Island, etc.

Yes, he’s played all the Five Nights At Freddy’s games. It’s a good series and it isn’t his fault the fandom is bat shit crazy and full of ten year olds! Fuck you Roman!

Every time the Walking Dead comes out he knows he’ll end up crying by the end of it. He and the squad make and event out of it.

Japanese horror games are usually his favorite because they deal more with the psychological aspects of horror instead of the jump scares

So, yes, he’s also a fan of Corps Party and Fatal Frame

Also really good at first person shooters because he has a really steady hand (you usually have to when playing horror games least you want to restart the level) and it pisses Roman off to no end every time Virgil randomly headshots him.

Usually likes to by merch in the form of posters, t-shirts, or beanies. He only buys figurines if it’s a game he really, really likes.

At first didn’t know why people kept bugging him to play Doki Doki Literature Club but then he finally caved and...oh...that’s why.

Logan Mill

My boy loves puzzle and strategy games yo!

Legend of Zelda, Portal, Tetris, Unravel, World of Goo, Inside, Limbo, Pokemon, Shadow of the Colossus, StarCraft, Command and Conquer, Age of Empire, Heart of Iron, World of Warcraft, etc.

He likes Overwatch but doesn’t like playing with people online so he usual solos or asks the others to play. But that too usually ends in chaos.

Hates rage games because he gets frustrated easily and has broken at least four keyboards and two controllers

He still plays them anyways because he can beat it damn it! Just give him a minute!

Enjoys the God of War series despite all the mythological inaccuracies

He plays a lot of Minecraft to relax or destress and has build beautiful works of architecture and sometimes entire cities.

He thought it was stupid and childish and was embarrassed about it for a long time until the squad came over to his house one day uninvited and caught him playing. He was getting ready for them to make fun of him but they instead gushed about how AMAZING everything looked and how TALENTED he was for building all himself.

Logan ends up showing them how to play afterwards and they work together to make weird sculptures and complex tunnels underground.

He likes practical merch like backpacks, coffee mugs, pencil holders, notebooks, ect. as well as a few t-shirts and novelty ties.

Yes, he does collect Pokemon cards!

Patton Adley

Silly dating sims, farming games, and any cute game really! Plus a few side scroller games!

Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Slime Rancher, The Sims, Dream Daddy, Animal Crossing, Kirby, Monster Prom, Hatoful Boyfriend, Scribblenauts, Night In The Woods, Ni Nu Kuni, etc.

Big Nintendo fan!

He made the mistake of playing Doki Doki Literature Club without reading the warning tags and regrets it immensely...still a good game though.

He did the same thing with Huni Pop but that one made him laugh more then anything and he kind of got addicted to it. Then he found out there was a sequel called HuniCam so he went down that rabbit hole too.

He likes a lot of phone app games too like Cut the Rope, Neko Atsume, and Candy Crush.

Loves trashy dating app games, he thinks they’re so funny and cheesy

He was addicted to Mystic Messenger for a long while

Just because he has his preference doesn’t mean he won’t try other games too, Logan got him hooked on World of Warcraft (though really he did that to everyone), Virgil showed him Hollow Knight, and Roman suggested he play Undertales.

Prefers merch in the form of plushies and key chains!

He likes to bake and decorate cookies, cakes and pastries in the form of his favorite video game characters.

RED SQUAD

Duncan [Deceit] Adley (Patton’s twin)

A lot of first person shooter and combat games!

Doom Series, Super Smash Bros, Mortal Combat, Halo, Fortnight, Grand Theft Auto, Street Fighter, Tekken, Soul Calibur, Half-Life, Team Fortress, Destiny, Wolfenstein, Bio Shock, Splatoon, PUBg etc.

Patton was the one that introduced him to Splatoon and he won’t admit that it’s actually super fun.

Doesn’t mind story driven games and RPGs but he really just wants something he can zone out to and relax

He likes to troll people online, mainly assholes picking on little kids who just want to play.

He once teamed up with a group of kids on Call of Duty solely for the purpose of collectively kicking the asses of this groups of so called “real gamers” that were being jerks.

Has memorized all the combos! He doesn’t have time to sit and look up a cool finishing move, he needs it now!

Always mains the weakest/most useless character in fighting games and still manages to kick everyone’s ass.

Doesn’t have a preference in merch and usually grabs whatever he likes be it figurines, t-shirts, posters, plushies, or whatever, so long as he likes the game it comes from.

Has several tattoos from his favorite games

Emile Picani

Classic retro games, cartoonish games, and Nintendo are his jam broham!

Mario, Classic Sonic, Paper Boy, Transylvania, Spyro, Pac Man, All the Saga Disney games, Duck Hunt, Mario Kart, Galaga, Mega Man, Donkey Kong, Secret of Mana, Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, etc.

Absolutely fell in love with Shovel Knight when it came out!

Remy got him into all the indie pixel games: Towerfall, Terraria, Owlboy, Hotline Miami, Papers Please, Celeste, One Shot, etc.

Duncan was the one that introduced him to Cuphead and the usually play it together and see how far each of them can go without dying.

The game is difficult but the art is still so breathtaking!

Likes the occasional psychological thriller game

Bet Virgil showed him Alice: Madness Returns and Doki Doki Literature Club (after he’s played it of course)

Likes plushies and figurine merch with the occasional poster and coffee mug.

Likes to doodle a lot of his fav video game characters and cartoons and is actually really good at it. He helped design most of Duncan’s tattoos.

Remy Knightly

Likes a lot of indie games and old online flash games!

The Stanley Parables, Oxenfree, Inside, Firewatch, Super MeatBoy, The Binding of Issac, Donut County, Henry Stickman series, Impossible Quiz, Crush the Castle series, Hyper Light Drifter, etc.

He always gets everybody hooked on one game or another

He convinced everyone to play Undertales so for like a month they all went through a HUGE Undertales faze.

Was the actual, ACTUAL one that showed Duncan Cuphead because he knew the dork would be reminded of Emile because of the animation and would want to show it to him and play multiplayer (*cough* subtle matchmaker *cough*)

(Do not be fooled, he is a pinning boy himself)

Is up to date in all the gossip of the latest games and consuls, indie or mainstream! He’s in the know, know and if you need to know something chances are Remy probably knows it.

Weeds out through all the indie horror games for Virgil and recommends what he thinks are the best ones.

Same thing with Logan and his puzzle games, he’s usually is able to find very strange ones and Logan seems to likes those best.

Obviously has a lot of merch in coffee mug and thermal form as well as a few key chains.

Occasionally streams on Twitch with Duncan and Emile (sometimes inviting the main squad too), they’re commentary is usual hilarious.

[sign-from-god-complex]

A Gift From Me To You - Chapter 1

Summary: It was nothing really. Just a tiny little doodle on his inner wrist—a flower, something resembling a large daisy, but not quite. It wasn’t anything to get worked up over. Except, of course, for the most important fact: Virgil didn’t draw it.

Some people didn't ever get a soulmark, and that was fine. The four of them had, more or less successfully, resigned themselves to living their lives without a soulmate; that was just the way it was and there was nothing they could do about it. Of course, it could never be that simple.

Pairing: LAMP/CALM

Warnings: Brief suicide mention (let me know if there’s anything else I should warn for!)

AO3 link

It was nothing really. Just a tiny little doodle on his inner wrist—a flower, something resembling a large daisy, but not quite. It wasn’t anything to get worked up over. Except, of course, for the most important fact: Virgil didn’t draw it.

Virgil knew about soulmates. Most of the population were lucky enough to be linked to a certain person that was more suited to them than anyone else. The link was expressed through a drawing on their wrist which somehow related to their relationship, called a soulmark. The mark could be anything from music notes, to a shared favourite food, to a brand logo, and it usually showed up when you were around 5 or so years of age, but sometimes it was as late as 10. The link wasn’t intrinsically romantic; a person’s soulmate didn’t have to be their lover and just as commonly ended up being a lifelong best friend instead.

People had theorised for millennia over the origin of soulmarks, but Virgil hadn’t listened or cared. Because when he said, “Most of the population”, he meant the part of the population he wasn’t included in. Virgil didn’t have a soulmate.

Or so he thought.

Virgil frantically searched through his day for some reasoning behind the ink on his skin. Did Remy doodle on him while he wasn’t paying attention in class? Did he press his wrist up against someone else’s drawing that hadn’t dried fully? Did he do it in his sleep?  

He was fully aware he was being ridiculous, but when something you’ve believed for your entire life—practically built your life around—turns out to not be true, it’s kind of hard to stay calm. It’s like finding out you’re adopted or finding out Pluto isn’t a planet. It was entirely unprecedented and not entirely unwelcome. So, in the midst of his panic, he called his best friend Remy.

The phone rang a few times before he heard a voice on the other end.

“Wassup?”

Remy sounded slightly groggy, and then Virgil remembered it was 2 am and he’d been just about to go to bed before he noticed the mark. Virgil felt a stab of guilt go through him for waking Remy up from the very little sleep they managed to get. He was being silly, this could have easily waited until the morning, he shouldn’t bother them wi-

“Virge, it’s fine, gurl,” Remy said, interrupting Virgil’s spiralling thoughts, “I can nap in class if I really need the sleep. We both know I don’t understand the lesson either way.”

Remy always seemed to know exactly what Virgil was thinking and managed to cut him off at the pass before he panicked too much. It was one of the reasons they were such good friends, considering how different they were.

Remy was a massive extrovert. They lived for parties and hangouts and though Virgil remained their best friend, it was rare to see Remy without someone else around. Virgil, on the other hand, hated meeting people and kept to himself as best he could. Remy was pretty much his only friend—although he had acquaintances that he liked, he didn’t feel as comfortable around them as he did around Remy. No matter how annoying they were sometimes.

Honestly, if Virgil hadn’t known Remy already had a soulmate, he would have claimed they were the source of Virgil’s mark.

Virgil cleared his throat, “Rem, you didn’t, like, doodle on me in class or anything, did you?”

His voice shook a little due to all the emotions that were rushing through him right now. Virgil could hear Remy’s confusion through the phone.

“No? What’s going on, Virge? You’re worrying me.”

“Cause, I, uh-”

Preparing to tell Remy about his mark, he glanced down at his wrist briefly and his breath caught in his throat.

His soulmark had changed.

What was once the outline of a simple flower had become a small bouquet. On his wrist were about half a dozen daisy-like flowers, all in shades of blue, purple and red, and tied up neatly in a golden bow. It was gorgeous, bright and shining and more than he deserved.

He heard Remy calling his name through the haze that had descended upon him.

“Virgil, I swear to god, do not make me come over there and kick your-”

“Sorry, Remy,” Virgil replied, “I just… I think I have a soulmark.”

There was a good 5 seconds of silence before Remy spoke up again.

“What?”

They sounded completely baffled, like this was the very last thing they had been expecting Virgil to say, which was completely justified. People didn’t just get soulmarks. Virgil was 17, the time for him to develop a soulmark had long since passed. It was entirely unheard of…

And yet.

“Are you… are you sure, Virge? Like, it couldn’t just be a prank or something?”

Remy sounded hesitant to suggest that Virgil’s supposed soulmark could be anything but genuine. Making fun of someone for not having a mark was hugely cruel, but, of course, it happened anyway. Virgil had definitely gone through his fair share of bullying due to his lack of a soulmark, and therefore, his lack of a soulmate. But, unless the person pranking him was entirely incorporeal and able to wipe his skin completely clean and draw something new without him noticing (highly, highly unlikely, but technically not impossible), there’s no way this could be a prank.

“No, it changed, Remy. It, uh, it’s different now than it was when I called you.”

A beat.

“Oh, well that’s…” Remy took a deep breath, “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Clearly, neither of them had any idea what to do in this situation.

“This is a good thing, right?” Remy sounded unsure.

Soulmates were something Virgil had always been kind of cynical about, but mostly that came from the culture surrounding it. It hurt, being left out of something that people seemed so excited about. Soulmates dominated almost every form of media and whenever a character didn’t have a soulmark it was always a weird point of tension. Usually, these characters were robots or aliens or just plain “weird”.

Truly though, Virgil hadn’t longed for a soulmark, he’d longed for a change in the culture. He hadn’t thought of himself as weird or broken, no matter what bullies at school would say. He realised there was a percentage of the population who just didn’t have the same experiences as the rest, but just because they’re small doesn’t mean they’re less important. He’d built his identity around the belief that he didn’t need to have a soulmark to be worthy or deserving of love of any kind. So, getting one… left a lot for him to process.

He chuckled lightly, “I’m not sure? I think so? I… don’t know what I feel right now.”

“That’s… that’s fair.”

There were a few more moments where neither of them said anything, just thinking, before Virgil stirred into motion.

“We can talk about this more at school tomorrow, Rem, yeah? I think it would be best if we both got some sleep.”

A yawn was heard from Remy at the mention of sleep and Virgil’s mouth quirked up at the corners slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sounds good,” they replied and Virgil could hear the sound of rustling blankets as Remy moved further back under the covers, “Goodnight, Virge.”

“Goodnight, Rem.”

-------------------------

Roman had noticed his soulmark almost the second it had appeared. He’d spent the evening running lines with some of his friends in the drama club, as they were coming up on their performance of Anything Goes, and Roman had been cast as the male lead.

The auditorium had long since been closed and so the small group had retired to Roman’s house to continue practising. Roman had insisted his parents wouldn’t mind, after all, they weren’t likely to be home anyway.

They’d been running through You’re The Top when Roman had glanced down at his script to clarify a line and stopped dead in his tracks.

“Roman?” Valerie questioned, “It’s your line, dude.”

Roman didn’t reply, his eyes fixated on his wrist where a small doodle of a flower sat. Where did it come from? He was quite sure it hadn’t been there before, he would have noticed it! Wouldn’t he? His world was swirling with so many emotions he almost felt he had to sit down. But first, he turned to Valerie.

“Did you draw this?”

His voice was calm, too calm for the situation. His acting skills were kicking into high gear, assisting him in keeping his emotions under wraps for just a moment longer.

“What? Roman, I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Valerie replied.

She didn’t, of course. Roman knew Valerie would never do something so cruel to him. Valerie was the Reno to his Billy, both for the purposes of the musical and also in real life. They were excellent friends and any romantic feelings either of them may have had at one point or another was put into the past long ago, as they both had someone they loved now.

Valerie knew his lack of a soulmark was a touchy subject. Roman was a romantic at heart, that was clear to see within one interaction with him. As soon as he’d learned about the concept of soulmates at 4 years old, Roman had been obsessed with the idea that there was a perfect person out there for him. Out there in the great wide world, there was a person who understood him better than anyone else ever could and they didn’t even know him yet. It was intoxicating, believing that you’re loved at your core from the moment you’re born, waiting for them to show themselves.

So of course, Roman’s 5th birthday went by without a soulmark. And then his 6th, and his 7th and his 8th. By the time his 11th birthday came he thought maybe his soulmark was just a little late, but when he reached his 12th birthday he’d finally given up hope. He’d locked himself away in his room for over a week, sobbing and screaming about how it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! He deserved to be loved like that! Why wasn’t he good enough?

Roman had moved past the immediate rejection he had felt, but to this day he still felt a pang of sadness every time he watched a romance movie or saw couples in public holding hands and laughing, matching soulmarks on display. He knew he didn’t have to have a soulmark to have love, but… sometimes he forgot.

Roman’s eyes filled with tears as he struggled to comprehend what he was seeing. He spun around to glare at the other cast members in the room, his face stormy. He thrust his wrist out towards them.

“Did one of you do this?!” he yelled, his voice almost breaking, “This isn’t funny! Did you do this?!”

The rest of the cast shook their heads frantically, looking slightly terrified by Roman’s demeanour. Though he may be a drama queen, none of them had ever seen him quite like this. This wasn’t drama, this was pain.

Roman was… well, he wasn’t sure what he was about to do, but he was about to do something, except he was interrupted. Another cast member, Terrence, pointed to his wrist and said, “Roman…”

Roman pulled his wrist back to look at it again, the little doodle of a flower still ingrained in his mind, except… this wasn’t a little doodle. This wasn’t what he’d seen at all. It had changed.

And the bottom dropped out from under him and he was falling.

He sobbed the same way he had 5 years ago, completely unabashed and totally lost. And amidst all the despair and confusion, there was hope rising in his chest. Hope that he’d let go of so long ago, hope that maybe, there was a perfect person for him, hope that maybe he was loved after all.

And so with Valerie wrapping her arms around Roman’s shaking form…

Roman broke.

-------------------------

Patton was woken up by a call from his boyfriend. Quickly wiping the sleep out of his eyes, he scrambled to grab his phone from the nightstand and answer it before it rang through.

“Heya, Ro,” he mumbled, still not quite awake.

A quick glance at his clock revealed it to be 4 in the morning, which was slightly concerning. Although Roman didn’t answer to any kind of sleeping schedule, he didn’t usually call Patton during the night. Pat would often wake up to an array of texts about anything from the cool bird he saw to how much he loved him, but calls were reserved for more immediate problems and never past 11 pm. He hoped everything was alright.

A closer listen indicated things may very well not be alright. Roman’s breathing was kind of unsteady and Patton could hear sniffing like he’d been crying. He immediately shot up straight in his bed, turning on the bedside lamp to wake him up a bit.

“Ro? Love, are you alright? What’s going on? Do you need me to come and get you?”

A laugh was heard from Roman, though it was slightly watery and quiet.

“No, mi corazón, I- I just need you to do me a favour, okay?"

Patton nodded, before realising Roman couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, okay, Ro. What is it?”

“Can you just… just look down at your wrist?”

Patton sighed.

“Ro, we’ve talked about this…”

Patton knew his boyfriend got insecure about their lack of soulmarks. It was something he’d confessed to after Patton had confronted him over dropping his hand when in public. At the time it had hurt; it had made him feel like he was some dirty little secret or that Ro was ashamed of him. After Roman had admitted what was truly going on, though, all Patton wanted to do was swaddle him up in a blanket and kiss him until he realised how much he was loved.

Patton had been raised by four loving parents who didn’t all share a soulmark. Their relationship was complicated, Patton knew, but he also knew that it was wonderful. As far as he was concerned, soulmates were a building block, a foundation. They may give you a place to start, a place to call home when you’re unsure about where to go, but you can build those things for yourself! You can build a foundation and you can build a home, with a family—or a found family—there to stay by your side.

A soulmate may be an important relationship you have, but it shouldn’t be the only important relationship you have, and not having a soulmate just meant having to form more important relationships by yourself. It doesn’t make you any less deserving of love, it just means you have to do the work yourself to find it.

He’d talked to Roman about this quite a few times when he was feeling particularly down about his lack of soulmark, and he’d really seemed like he was moving forward. So this request felt like 3 steps backwards.

“No, Patton, please. Just… do this for me. Please.”

Roman sounded like he was on the edge of breaking apart, so Patton agreed, looking down at his wrists in the lamplight and…

Oh.

His breath left him in one big rush. There, on his wrist, was a beautiful drawing of a bouquet of flowers. A drawing, he surely did not do. He rotated his wrist back and forth, watching mesmerised as the colours shimmered.

“Ro…” Patton whispered, voice breathless, “How did you… ”

“Do you have one too? Patton, I-” his words were coming out shaky now, rushed and teary, “I didn't understand and I thought it was a joke but I just had to know and I-”

Patton pulled the covers back and rushed to stand up, grabbing his keys from off his chest of drawers.

“Roman, where are you?”

He didn’t even bother changing out of his pyjamas, just stuffed his feet into his sneakers and carefully crept down the stairs. He knows that if one of his parents caught him they would still let him go, but they would insist on driving him there and would probably ask for some kind of explanation. An explanation Patton didn’t have.

“I’m at th-the park, near my house,” Roman managed to get out through his increasingly quick breaths, “I just, I had a breakdown in front of everyone and I needed to think and I can’t-”

“You’re alright, sweetheart, you’re fine. Just breathe. I’ll be there in 5, okay?”

After an answering okay from Roman, Patton hung up the call. He quickly scribbled down a note to leave on the kitchen counter just in case one of his parents woke up to find him missing, before he rushed out to the car and started the drive to the park.

With all his worrying over Roman, Patton had barely had time to examine his own feelings on the situation. It was clear Roman had spontaneously gained a soulmark too, and considering the odds that more than two people would mysteriously gain a soulmark in one night, Patton assumed they were matching. Which was… wow. That was amazing.

He loved Roman, he knew that already. It hadn’t mattered to him in the slightest that neither of them had a soulmark, but he knew this was something Ro worried about. Once he got past the mess of this evening, Patton was happy that Roman would be a little bit more sure that Patton truly did love him. It did, of course, raise the question of why and how they’d even gained these soulmarks, but that wasn’t for Patton to worry about. Right now, he just had to focus on driving and getting to his boyfriend.

-------------------------

Logan hadn’t noticed the mark until later that day, considering he followed something resembling a sleep schedule.

To Logan, this had begun simply as any other day would. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, got changed and went downstairs to make breakfast. It was all done on autopilot, a morning routine that he’d gone through so many times he didn’t even have to think about it anymore. Until he tried to start breakfast.

He placed the bread in the toaster and then searched around for a moment, trying to find his Crofters. His Dad loved to hide the jars so that he could steal them himself. Logan had told him many times that he was the adult who was supplying him with the Crofters and if he wanted some he could just buy more. His Dad responded by saying that things just tasted better when they were stolen, to which Logan would roll his eyes and take the jelly to begin his meal.

After opening a few cupboards, Logan could see his jar on the top shelf, barely hidden behind a box of cereal. Logan was just tall enough to reach it, standing on his tip-toes and stretching out. He almost had it when something caught his eye.

His long-sleeved black button up was beginning to get slightly too small, so as he stretched the sleeves didn’t quite reach the end of his arms. And there, peaking out of the fabric, was something colourful on his wrist. Momentarily forgetting his Crofters, he pulled his sleeve back to get a closer look and stared in shock and awe at what he found. If you had gotten close enough to him, you may have had heard him make a whirring sound, akin to a computer that’s been given input it doesn’t understand.

He had a soulmark. He had… a soulmark. He had- fuck.

This went against everything he’d believed about himself for years.

Logan didn’t do emotions. He was logical, and there was nothing logical about emotions. Emotions were subjective and messy and caused more trouble than they were worth. His friends had often tried to convince him by pointing out all the positive emotions you can experience as well—things like love and joy and comfort and excitement, and sure. Those things weren’t unpleasant to experience, but they didn’t make up for all the negative emotions—the things like sadness and pain and grief and heartache and longing.

Emotions like those were what took his mother away from him before he was barely old enough to understand what it meant. Emotions like those are what forced Logan to have dial 911 to tell them his father wasn’t breathing and he didn’t understand why and he didn’t know what to do and if he loses him he’d lose all he had left.

Emotions were… too much.

No. Soulmates were nothing more than a fantastical idea to promote heartbreak and pain, and Logan didn’t need that.

But it seemed the universe disagreed.

In a barely lucid state, Logan walked over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed out some bandages, wrapping them around his arm. If anyone asked, he could just say he’d strained it from typing too much. Luckily, he was ambidextrous, so writing with his right hand wouldn’t be so difficult. It wouldn’t work forever, but it would work until he found a more permanent solution.

So Logan returned to his breakfast, spreading Crofters on his toast and finishing preparing for the day.

A day like any other.

-------------------------

Chapter 2

[emosnakeboy]

I’ve Done Everything to Deserve This (Version #1)

Prompt: I’ve done everything to deserve this, but why here, why now, why in front of him? (found it on my dash by @thrown-out-pasta) (am going to write second different one because this prompt speaks to me) Ship: Romanic/Pining Logince, mentions of Logicality Warnings: angst was implied. humiliation, hatred, bullying, mentions of maybe home abuse, etc

Roman really did try his best to be a good person. 

It didn’t look like it from the outside, but then again, not everyone can be overly friendly like that kid Patton O’Connor. The idiot was going to get himself hurt one day from being too outgoing. He was fairly new. He hadn’t learned his lesson yet. Roman had been trying to teach him, to show him what would happen to him if he didn’t reign himself in a little. He showed O’Conner as quickly as he could, bringing up his own old memories in the process. He went light on him, very light by the school bullies’ standards. He didn’t wanna hurt the kid. Just... warn him. He’d left Patton in the bathroom after, the kid shaking with sobs as he tended to his few wounds, a foreboding message playing in his head: just step back, or it’ll only be worse for you.

That was a far kinder treatment than that emo kid had received. The freak was always drawing. Roman hadn’t exactly seen it as a bad thing when he first noticed it, but when he noticed emo boy wearing long sleeves and lots of makeup, he resolved that the bullies had determined that he needed the punishment. Roman didn’t want to get beat up. Roman did what he had to. He really hoped the bullies would never find his love of theater.

Timber Creek High School was an awful place. Roman wished it wasn’t like this, but if you didn’t agree with them, then they didn’t agree with you. And if they didn’t agree with you...

... you’d be sorry.

Today wasn’t at all going in Roman’s favor. He’d been late to class due to the stupid rain, and that had earned him a detention. He tried to stay on the bullies’... less bad side... but unless there was a nerdier kid in detention, Roman would be getting a nice beating from them today. 

That Patton kid seemed like a good option. If he could get O’Connor into detention, he’d escape unscathed. 

He managed to do just that at lunch, and in a very public and fun manner. Roman had it all worked out, and he used a variety of clues to perfect his plan.

Patton O’Connor had a very obvious crush on Logan Torres, a huge nerd (that Roman may or may not have also had a very obvious crush on) who used his lunch to study in the cafeteria. That bit of information was crucial. Logan didn’t usually eat in the cafeteria; Roman had observed this in the years he’d spent at Timber Creek High. Patton would have no idea. Logan spent this particular lunch period next to Emo Kid, although both of them remained silent as Logan read his books and Emo Kid doodled away. Roman made sure to sit at a table in between Patton and Logan, yet not too far away from either of them. He also made sure to bring a paper airplane to lunch.

The airplane hit Patton in the back of the head, and as he turned around to pick it up from the floor Roman smiled. Roman watched Patton mouth the words that he’d written: Any chance you could toss something to eat over here? I’m rather famished, but I can’t afford to buy anything to eat today. -Logan T. He watched Patton’s face light up, watched Patton take half of his probably-homemade PB&J sandwich without thinking, watched Patton ready his right arm -

Splat. The sandwich hit emo kid in the back of the head. He wheeled around, anger apparent on his face. O’Connor blanched as Emo Kid took a scoop of baked beans off his lunch tray with his hands and threw it at Patton full-force. It hit the poor kid square in the face, splattering on the other once-peppy kids seated around Patton. 

Only a few more seconds had passed before it was an all-out food fight. 

Roman sat back and laughed at the chaos he’d caused. He didn’t want to get too involved; oh no, that would ruin the rest of his plan.

A teacher soon stopped the fight. “Who started all of this?!” she yelled, looking around at the kids in the room. Many flinched away from her glare.

Roman assumed an innocent demeanor, raising his hand slightly and pointing towards Patton. “O’Conner threw the first sandwich, Miss.” 

The teacher didn’t acknowledge Roman’s presence. Instead, she rounded on Patton, who was terrified, shaking, and covered in baked beans.. “Detention, O’Connor. For the rest of the week.” Roman held in a snicker as she whirled around and left the room.

He thought he was home clear.

Then the end of the day came.

Roman was packing his things up, ready for detention now that he wasn’t going to get beat up. Maybe he’d be able to get some homework done before he had to go back home to the woman he had to call “mother”. Maybe his day wasn’t so bad.

He was just about to head to room 421 for detention when he was shoved against a line of lockers abruptly. “Price, you’re in for it now,” a menacing voice hissed as firm hands held him in place by his shoulder and throat. The hall around them suddenly seemed alive with curious teenagers who wanted to know what had happened.

“What... did I... do?” Roman gasped out, winded and almost unable to breathe. He made eye contact with the person holding him to the wall, and he felt his heart stop at the sight. 

Remy. One of them. 

Roman was toast.

“How. dare. you.” Remy seethed, his dark eyes glimmering angrily from behind his sunglasses. “You framed him. I watched you do it. Probably also the one to beat him up a few weeks ago.”

“Wh...at?”

Remy’s lips curled in disgust. “You hurt my cousin. Got ‘im landed in detention, too. You’re screwed, Price.”

It clicked in Roman’s head suddenly. Remy O’Connor. Patton O’Connor. Cousins. And probably why Patton never really had more bruises after that one lesson Roman had taught him.

Oh, god, Roman was royally screwed.

“Didn’t.... know,” Roman gasped, his hand moving up to the hand on his throat. “Pl..ease....” 

“Price, I dunno why you did what you did- wait... just one second. I bet that’s why, isn’t it? You were worried that he was gonna... I can’t believe it.”

Believe what? Roman thought bleakly, his vision beginning to spot. I did what I did to keep him safe. And to protect myself from this. 

“You thought he was gonna try to take Torres’s heart, didn’t you?”

A string of curses flew through Roman’s brain. He only could hope that Logan wasn’t around, couldn’t see what was happening, and hadn’t heard that last statement. He could hear the people whispering around him, and he realized that it didn’t matter. Logan would hear about it anyway.

Remy leaned in close to Roman’s ear. “See you in detention, Price,” he said, his voice cold and promising. Terror shot down Roman’s spine. Remy released Roman suddenly, and he dropped to the floor in a limp mess. He bit his lip, hard, to keep from crying out as Remy kicked him in the ribcage. Tears sprung to his eyes as he tasted blood in his mouth. He let his eyes fall shut as he lay there, feeling helpless. He heard the crowd dying down, and he could pick out Remy’s unmistakable footsteps in the mess of people leaving the previously-excited area. 

After a few minutes, Roman opened his eyes and struggled to sit up. He winced at a stabbing pain in his chest, hoping that nothing was broken yet. That pain didn’t seem to hurt at all when he saw the only person remaining in the hall.

Logan. Fricking. Torres.

I’ve done everything to deserve this, but why here, why now, why in front of him?

He stared down at Roman, eyes wide and face unreadable. Roman couldn’t look away from his gaze, wondering what was going on behind that emotionless mask he wore. Did he feel sorry for Roman? Would he want to help him? 

“You... you’re a monster.” The words pierced his heart. Logan’s expression darkened. “You’d really hurt someone just because you’re scared of them taking me? You.. don’t even have me. You’re a terrible person. Maybe next time you should just, I dunno, ask me out before beating up an innocent kid over it. Maybe I would’ve said yes before today.” As if this wasn’t bad enough, Logan finished with one last blow that rang through Roman’s ears throughout the rest of his beating.

“I’ll never say yes to you.”

oof i never write angst or logince can you tell

whatever here you go tumblr do what you will

some people who wanted to be tagged/who might like this:

@romanochez @adultmorelikeadolt @romanticsanders @theeternalspace 

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 8

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I could not wait to post this. I know it’s only Wednesday but I couldn’t wait and I had to. I’m sorry... I’m sure the next chapter will bring us back to the regular schedule. This chapter is really weird, at least in my opinion (but it might just be that I read it again and again a million times over), but I’m really happy with it and... also not really. Some people in this chapter need to... I don’t want to say anything. It would only make things worse if I say anything.

Thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original suggestion, to @whatwashernameagain for all her help and for being a sweet lil angel of a person, and to my little elves, @anony-phangirl, @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for dealing with my bullshit. A special one goes to Nicky this time, for being an adorable bean and reading this chapter ahead of time to help me figure things out. I am so grateful that I have this lovely group of people to help me and I can’t thank them enough.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @secretlyanxiouspersona, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemyspoopydad, @violetblossem, @prinxiety-an-chocolate

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). Especially in this chapter, and not necessarily period-appropriate, but... you have been warned.

—————

Wednesday, November 27th, 2002

Remy finally understood the point of existentialism and, more specifically, of the saying "Hell is other people".

He couldn't even take comfort in knowing how close India was. She didn't leave Boston for the holiday, and she wouldn't have anyway. Her family in North Carolina were horrible people and she told him that she hadn't seen any of them since she came to Harvard.

That meant that, for the next few days, he was stuck in Social Circle, Georgia. All alone. With no escape plan.

"Sarah, look, Remy's here!"

...and Leah.

She came down the road on her rollerblades, looking entirely too proud of herself, and their cousin Sarah on her trail. Sarah wasn't particularly bad, but Remy wasn't entirely comfortable around—

"A little bird told me you were going to be away this year."

"Gurl, you don't even want to know what happened."

"No I don't. I'm just glad you're here, Becca."

Becca. A cursed name. Yeah, maybe that's going a bit overboard, but… Remy wasn't called Becca since… well, Christmas of last year. But it's been a long time!

"I can rollerblade, right Remy?" Leah was holding onto his leg, almost dragging him down, and started taking her rollerblades off. "You saw me do it!"

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want Mom to see…"

"But you'll freeze!"

"But she won't be mad at me!"

"Becca, would you like to hear the holiday forecast?" Sarah tapped Remy on the shoulder as she said that. He didn't really, but… "Sunny. Way too sunny. With high chance of showers and a possible thunderstorm."

(Translated, it meant there will be fights. A lot of fights. And Remy was ready to deal with them, but… it didn't mean he wanted to hear it.)

"Wow, thanks for all the help, Sarah."

"No need to be rude, I'm just trying to prepare you. Everyone is coming. And some of us aren't as accepting of your ‘identity' as others."

That was incredibly true. Sadly. It took Linda no time at all to let everyone know that her daughter believes that she's a boy, and it took his grandmother no time to tell him that when she was younger, she had a very good friend who was born a boy, but lived as her true feminine self, and that she misses that friend so much because "there was no kinder or sweeter woman you'd ever meet, too bad we had to lose her to that wretched AIDS. We didn't have no cocktails or whatever back then, not like today. She died something like three years after you were born. You would've loved Celia."

It was going to be an insufferable holiday.

"Sarah, you're barely two years older than me. You don't—"

"I'm not mothering you. I'm just pointing out the facts."

Leah let go of Remy's leg, and instead grabbed onto his arm, the rollerblades in one hand. She was barefoot, she was cold, and he just wanted to hold her tight so she wouldn't freeze too much.

He was falling hard and fast for the sister he didn't want to meet a couple weeks ago, and he was struggling to understand what exactly happened.

"Sarah has a boyfriend now," Leah said happily as she led Remy (and his bag) to the house. "He's not very nice." She threw her rollerblades into a small shed near the door and quickly closed it.

"I'll bet."

"It's why she's being a bitch. I think. I don't know."

"It's how she's always been. Don't feel bad."

Leah decided to give him a house tour, and explained that nobody was there yet because everyone will come tomorrow and Stephen had a thing to do in Atlanta and Rachel had a play date. And Linda's house was… well, a house.

Remy was so used to the small and outrageously expensive apartment on West 106th, with the bad lighting and the closet-sized bedrooms, that the house seemed huge to him. The living room alone was - mismatched furniture aside - incredibly impressive. The floor-to-ceiling windows let in so much natural light that reflected off the shiny hardwood floors, the cream-colored walls and the needlessly large flat-screen TV, that Remy doubted they even needed the huge fucking chandelier (okay, maybe he was exaggerating a bit) that hung in the middle of the room. The walls were covered in crayon doodles and bright purple marks where the girls' heights were measured, and a few dark scratches. Obvious evidence that a certain scooter kept running into them.

Two black suede couches faced the brick fireplace (a fucking fireplace? Utterly pointless, much like a lot of things in this room), with dark blue and gray throwing pillows placed strategically on them. It looked incredibly comfortable. Between the couches and the fireplace was a small glass coffee table, "adorned" with misplaced toys and children's art supplies. A beautiful, blue-green glass vase full of white daffodils was right in the middle of the table. Leah proudly told him that she picked them herself.

Wooden bookcases covered the wall next to the entrance, and two light gray, plush armchairs, with the same dark blue and gray pillows, faced them. Remy was very familiar with those armchairs. They used to belong to his grandparents. He used to torture those chairs with Sarah when they were younger, draw on them with markers and put stickers all over the armrests. How his grandmother managed to remove the stickers was beyond him, but he knew for a fact that she put them through very intensive cleaning after every visit.

Two years ago they disappeared from their house in Red Bank, New Jersey. And nobody could explain to him why.

In the corner of the room, next to the bookcases, sat a sleek Steinway that Remy knew very well. It belonged to his grandfather. He wasn't even aware that it, too, made its way from New Jersey to Georgia.

(Nobody told Remy anything anymore, as it turned out. At least he could take comfort in knowing that Roger's piano was being put to good use.)

And that was just the living room. Remy didn't even want to think about the hallway.

"We moved here from Atlanta when I started going to school and my grandma and grandpa wanted me to go to where Dad went to school," Leah started rambling. "And I miss Atlanta. There's a lot more to do there, there's a lot more fun stuff to—"

"I know." The offended look on her face went away when Remy put his hand in her hair, to calm her down. "I live two blocks away from Broadway, I just need to take the subway and I'll be at Times Square, but I can't. I don't have the money for it and I don't want to take money from my dad."

"Isn't that annoying?"

"Leah, you're seven. Stop complaining about that kind of stuff," Sarah chided as she pushed past them, a glass of water in her hand, and went to sit down. "Just wait until you're in college."

"You mean, the place where everything is close by and rather affordable thanks to student discounts and the option of working on campus?"

"You're only a senior in high school, what do you know—"

"I go to Harvard, Sarah. It's been a couple months already."

"Oh… yeah. I'm sure you're doing great."

Yeah. Maybe this holiday he'll just stick to Leah.

——

"If there is a thing you should know about your mother," Edith Brigham told her grandchild in late 1992, "it's that she is too headstrong for her own good. It doesn't matter how much you try to change her mind, she'll never listen."

This was the reason Remy kept talking to his grandmother after the divorce. Why he kept visiting Edith and Roger after Linda left.

"Where's grandma and Roger?"

"They won't be coming this holiday, Rebecca. They're in Thailand."

Remy was absolutely not ready for this thanksgiving.

Stephen started a conversation with him about college while Linda was finishing things up in the kitchen that Wednesday. He asked him about his boyfriend, Remy did his best to avoid those particular questions ("is Ian playing any sports?" "She told me she was a cheerleader in high school, she wasn't allowed to do color guard"; Stephen choked on his beer when Remy said that), and things just seemed…

Overall, things seemed strangely calm.

Remy missed Edith and Roger.

"Who's she?" Linda asked from the kitchen.

"Never heard of her."

"Rebecca, please be serious."

"Remember when you met my best friend and she told you her name is Ian?" Linda made a choking sound. "Remember grandma's friend Celia?"

"That— you never even met her. You were too young. You don't even remember her. You are not the same as grandma's friend."

"I'm sure my best friend would love to hear that."

"So he's… he…"

"You can call her a she, you know."

"Grandma doesn't have a friend called Celia," Leah piped in from the corner, where she was sitting at the piano, trying to motivate herself to play it. Little Rachel was pressing all the keys, irritating Leah quite a bit.

"She died of a really bad disease before you were born," Linda said sharply. Something in her changed when talking to Leah.

"She was very nice," Remy added, trying to be softer than Linda. "Grandma says that she was a painter, and she spent a lot of time reading books, and that there was nobody sweeter than her. She died of AIDS."

"What's that?"

"Don't you—"

"Acquired immune deficiency syndrome." Leah hummed to herself as Remy said that. He could feel Linda glare at him. "You get it from contaminated blood or unsafe sex, and your immune system just doesn't work. I don't know a lot about it, so you should probably read about it—"

"Rebecca, she's seven years old!"

"She's a seven year old who knows that female hyenas have penises, Linda! She's old enough to know about AIDS."

"...you sound just like your grandmother."

"Thanks, I try to."

Leah just hummed again in understanding and left the piano in order to go painting. Rachel's key-pressing was getting too annoying for her. She said her hearing can't take it anymore.

Remy believed her.

"You can't just explain STDs to my child, Rebecca," Stephen hissed at him through gritted teeth, suddenly looking rather threatening.

"One of my professors said that if you can't explain it to a child, you don't truly understand it yourself."

"That's no excuse to—"

"Mom I have a headache can you tell Rachel to go away?"

"Deal with it. Rachel, sweetie, come here."

"Deal with it?" Linda just… shrugged. "Leah, come here, love. And bring my bag with you."

So she did. Remy took an ibuprofen pill out of the bag and gave it to her. And Linda...

"You're drugging up my kid?"

"She told you she has a headache. I'm having cramps right now, so I have painkillers on me. Shocker? To you, probably. You're the one who taught me that the cramps are just another sign that my body so terribly wants to have children, and—"

"Spit that out, Leah. You don't need anything."

And with that, Remy gave up on trying to talk to Linda. (Leah did not spit out the pill.)

——

Sunday, December 1st, 2002

The rest of the holiday was just as awful. Leah got overwhelmed by everything, Remy kept fighting with his aunts, and the alcohol didn't help in the least. Everyone felt Edith and Roger's absence and it only made things that much worse.

He should've stayed in Boston.

When he called India after getting off the plane, she told him to take comfort in the fact that Christmas is only three weeks away. And, yeah, she was right. But it didn't make things any better…

For now, he decided, he should focus on other things. Midterms were starting very soon. Next Tuesday was Emile's birthday. His dad started working on a new production—

There was a knock on the door.

"I heard you had a horrible holiday," an adorable, heavily-accented, quiet voice said once Remy opened the door. He could hear the smile in it. "Nothing cuddles and cookies can't solve, right?"

Thin, pale hands pulled Remy in for a hug, and finally. Remy came home.

——

"Umm… Emile, babe, you're crushing my lungs."

"Oh, oops. Sorry."

"Want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas and do absolutely nothing else?"

"Sounds lovely. Let's do it."