#also because I got it as a gift from my college BFF years ago

[fortysevenswrites]

Since I feel like we’re all in need of a little cute right now, here’s Bishop hiding under my giant stuffed dog.

From the front:

And from the back:

[mcfiddlestan]

Fic Writer Questions

I'm bored and this was in a note on my phone from forever ago, so I must have been tagged at some point. Apologies to whoever tagged me. 🥴

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

52. Though, I used to have a few more. I deleted a few fics some years ago bc I hated that they were just sitting there unfinished. I was going through a particularly brutal bout of writer's block that affected both my fic writing and my RP writing.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

720,782. And I was stressing about a 30-page thesis. 😂 (which ended up being over 15,000 words)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I started writing fic in 2000 with *NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, and Backstreet Boys fics. I stopped writing a bit around 2004-2007 (because of a stupid boy) and picked it up again in 2012 after reading some awesome Cherik fics and wanting to write my own FrostIron College AU when I read one that was good, but kind of disturbing. I think I write for one fandom -- Marvel -- but, like different factions of it. FrostIron and WinterFrost mostly, with a dash of Stucky, ThunderFrost, DashingFrost, and WinterIron.

4) What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Light Special (WinterFrost) - 628 kudos

Can I Bum A Ride? (WinterFrost) - 425 kudos

Empire State of Mind (FrostIrom) - 420 kudos

Dark Side (FrostIron) - 398 kudos

A Worthy Collection (FrostIron) - 309 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really do make an effort to respond to every single comment, even the not-so-nice ones. I want people to know I've seen and read the comment they took the time to post, so even if I just thank them for reading and commenting, I respond.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Considering it features two -- count 'em, two! -- major character deaths, it's definitely Empire State of Mind. Though, I'd argue Dark Side is a pretty close second.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Ghosts That We Knew. It was the final fic in the trilogy that is the Picture Perfect Series. It follows Loki and Tony from when they meet in college and ends 30+ years later.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, not really. And I rarely, if ever, read them. There's no real reason behind it other than I've just never come upon one and thought "ooh I need to read that."

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got a lot of hateful messages after I completed Empire State of Mind. People were really angry at me for killing off two major characters. I mean, a lot of the messages were "omg I hate you but I loved this!" kind of vibe. But there were a few that cussed me out and called me names for writing it.

I had some chapters of a Fools Rush In FrostIron AU posted a while ago, in which Loki was a female, the only daughter in both the Odinson and Laufeyson families. Following the storyline of the Matthew Perry/Salma Hayek movie, Loki meets Tony Stark in a bar and gets pregnant from a one night stand. Anyway, I got a lot of messages telling me that Odin's misogyny and mistreatment of Loki was unrealistic -- even though I had literally modeled his behavior after the movie that inspired it. 🤷🏽

I have some prompts done for the 100 Ways to Say ILY writer's block challenge and for one of them, I borrowed the storyline from an episode of Will & Grace when Will's father dies of a heart attack after they have a bad argument where his father basically admits he wished Will wasn't gay so he could have had an easier life. In the epsiode, the fight starts because Will's parents gift his baby blanket to Grace, who is pregnant with her ex-husband's child. Will takes offense, they don't understand why bc he never mentioned wanting children, and a fight ensues. Similarly, in my fic, Frigga and Odin offer a pregnant Natasha (his BFF) Loki's blanket. Some readers did not like this and did not understand why I would write it. In another prompt, one that was literally how my last relationship ended, got some harsh critiques. Those ones hurt especially bc it was such a personal experience I wrote about.

And I actually got into a fight -- like a screaming match -- IRL with my best friend's boyfriend at the time. One of my bestie's friends asked about my fanfiction and I gave them the gist of one of my stories where Loki has a brief relationship with Sif that results in a child and later reconnects with Tony. Later on, Sif offers to be a surrogate for Tony and Loki and eventually births three more children for them. Bestie's boyfriend could not fathom why a woman would purposely get herself impregnated and then give the child away. I tried to explain that this was a thing that a lot of women did IRL -- and some don't even use their own eggs, but the eggs of a woman who cannot conceive; Sif used her own eggs so that all four children were half related (two by Loki, two by Tony). But he just did not believe me and told me I must not be a very good writer. Worst night of my life.

10) Do you write smut?

I was just telling @teadrinkingwolfgirl the other night how when I first started writing fic I did not write sex scenes. It was always inferred or glossed over. When I started writing again in 2012, for FrostIron, it was my first time writing more detailed sex. I cite Jackie Collins as my smut-writing mentor. I've written almost exclusively M/M smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Which is like the best thing ever! A couple of my older fics have been translated to Russian. I have one *NSYNC fic that was made into an audio fic. And someone recently messaged me on ff*net to ask to translate as many of my fics as they can to Spanish. :D

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not technically. I've gotten a lot of prompts and ideas from friends and mutuals, and I started reformatting my WinterFrost RP with my ex from 2014-2015 into novel form a while ago. That's tecnically the only thing I've written with someone else and published.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have two that will always, ALWAYS, have my heart and attention. FrostIron (Tony Stark/Loki) and WinterFrost (Bucky Barnes/Loki). They are the two ships that I write the most, read the most, and seek out fanart for the most.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably The Flame. It's a fic that starts out ThunderFrost (not related; Asgardian Prince Thor semi-rescues an imprisoned Jotun Prince Loki) but eventually ends up FrostIron. It's the only fic I've ever written that features Loki with both male and female biology. I have a few chapters done but I haven't worked on it in years.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write realistic relationships. And I think my dialogue is also realistic and easy to grasp. And I put a lot of humor in between all the angst and hurt.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I get too detailed with background. I just reread my Picture Perfect series (which I do like once a year), and there are literal paragraphs of background that in Google Docs is like pages and pages. But I want to make sure people understand my characters! LOL

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a big fan of it. I featured a lot of Norwegian in the Picture Perfect series. And French. I think as long as it flows with the storytelling and it's not forced on the characters it can be really cool. It should be natural. I always leave a translation list at the end of the chapter or explain in-text what was said. Which I think most authors I've read do.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Backstreet Boys. LOL. Don't judge. I started writing my own fics after discovering BSB fanfiction written by an author named Mistress Lynz. She wrote a lot of fics about bloodletting, but I really enjoyed the fics where the guys were hooking up with each other behind the scenes, LOL explains why I write mostly M/M now. 😂

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

They're kind of like my babies so at different times different ones are my faves. But if I really had to pick one, I would say Stay With Me is my favorite. I got some of the most amazing comments on this story from people that found meaning and themes in the story that I didn't even realize I'd put in there. It was one of my first WinterFrost fics I'd posted and the response was more than I could have asked for.

And now I have to tag people! @teadrinkingwolfgirl @incredifishface @incubigirl @rabentochter @marvelswinterfrost and whoever else feels up to it.

xoxo

[lynelovespopculture]

THE  CHILLING ADVENTURES OF ZELDA CHAPTER 14-A SPELLMAN FAMILY SOLSTICE

 Faustus and Zelda had a long recovery in front of them.  Faustus had only awakened 1 hour before his wife so they were healing at the same time. They both were assigned to complete bed rest for the next 3 weeks. In that time, they rested, snuggled together, and watched the defeat of Blackwood video numerous times. They both agreed that there was no foolproof way to get rid of Blackwood forever; they had to just keep their guard up and hope for the best. Zelda also told Faustus how Lilith had reclaimed hell for herself and found happiness with a new Adam. After the 3 weeks of bed rest, Faustus and Zelda were up and around and just in time to help celebrate Sabrina’s 18th birthday. (Since this was Sabrina’s last year at home before college, new rules were set. Thursday nights were family dinner night, absolutely no excuses for not attending, and Sunday was family movie night.)

Later that week, Faustus and Zelda managed to find some time to sit down with just the twins to have a serious talk about the adoption. Zelda explained that this adoption was less about guardianship, as the twins were almost 17, but more of a show of commitment to be their mother. Zelda nodded with understanding when they told her that they wanted time to think about it. Yet, there was 1 issue that the male twin didn’t need to think about at all. Just like his sister, Judas wanted to forget about his life with Blackwood. Soon enough, he confessed that he hated the name of Judas, so with his parents’ full support, changed his name to Jacob.  It wasn’t long at all until he was used to the family calling him Jake. 3 days later, Faustus took Zelda for a romantic dinner in the fanciest restaurant in town. As they clinked their wine glasses together, Faustus explained that it was the 1st anniversary of him being free from the curse. Hearing this, Zelda re-clinked the glasses.

“To the first of many, many years,” She smiled.

They went home, and make wild, passionate love before drifting off in each other’s arms. Late that night, Zelda turned around and found herself alone in bed. She caught Faustus at the entrance of the attic, which Ambrose and Jake now shared.

“I still can’t believe we’re all home now,” Faustus whispered as his wife linked her arm with his. With a kiss, Zelda led him back to their room, where they made love for the 2nd time that night.

  Their 1st solstice all together as a family was a very special one. LJ and Jake were both all smiles as together, they handed Zelda a gift. After wrapping it, Zelda gasped, for the box was filled with papers, but not just any papers. On top were the half-filled adoption papers and beneath that, were papers for legal name changes. The twins explained that not only did they want to be adopted but they were also ready to become Spellmans. All the family couldn’t agree fast enough. Zelda did a pretty good job of blinking back her tears of joy, or she did, right up until the twins called her ‘mom’ for the very 1st time. This happened right after Zelda gave LJ and Jake their Yule present. A thick photo album filled with pictures of their birth mother, Constance, at every stage of life so the twins could look at it whenever they wished.

In the new year, after Hilda and Dr. C celebrated their 1st anniversary and Zelda filed the paperwork for the twins’ adoption and name changes, plans went full steam ahead for LJ and Jake’s joint dark baptism. Jake kept it simple, by picking Jacob Faustus for his baptismal name. LJ’s was longer. LJ explained that her name was to be Letitia Judith Constance Zelda.

“To honor both my mothers.” LJ smiled and Zelda kissed the girl on the head, blinking back happy tears once more.

The baptism, attended by family and coven alike, went off without a hitch. For the next few months, the Spellmans’ lives were blissfully quiet and uneventful. Their lives revolved around work, school, and most importantly, each other. On April 2nd, the whole family gathered to celebrate Cordelia’s first birthday. They threw a party, of course, with cake and gifts but it was Faustus and Zelda who got the best present that day. It was later that night after they readied Cordelia for bed, they sat Cordelia down in front of her crib as they did for the last 3 weeks. It was normal when Cordelia pulled herself up to the crib with her tiny hands but then something new happened. Cordelia took her hands off the crib and took her 1st few unsteady steps towards Zelda. She playfully touched her mother’s cheek before saying her 1st word loud and clear. “Mommy!” After kissing her daughter silly, Zelda turned Cordelia around so she could walk to Faustus. The baby took 3 steps before she stumbled on the 4th and would have fallen but Faustus managed to catch her. He was rewarded with a giant smile. “Daddy!”

 Spring and summer flew by and before anyone knew it, it was September again. Everyone came out to see Sabrina and LJ, who graduated a year early, off to college. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. When she was 3 and big enough for a big girl bed, Cordelia was given Sabrina’s room by her still at college cousin. The following year, Hilda, Faustus, and Sabrina convinced an uneasy Zelda to allow Cordelia to attend mortal kindergarten, just like Sabrina before her. Cordelia’s parents sat her down and explained to her not to talk about witches or use magic at school. They also kept their promise to the witch’s council, to keep them updated on Cordelia’s magical development. Yet, there was little to report. The baby who cried the devil out of the house was growing up as normally as any other little witch, except for a slammed door or a few floating items. Her powers were at their strongest when her emotions were at their peak.  One afternoon, Cordelia wanted to play outside but Hilda explained she couldn’t because it was raining, hard.

“I don’t want it to rain!” As soon as Cordelia stamped her foot, the sun came out. Hilda stared wordlessly, yet Cordelia didn’t even seem to notice. It was on the 1st day of school that Cordelia met Erin, Emily, and Erica Warner, mortal triplet girls who quickly became her BFFs. Meanwhile, with his youngest now in school, Faustus was feeling a little lost.  Ambrose and Jake formed the perfect team to run the funeral home together and the rest of the family were busy with their own thing. 1 night, Zelda suggested her husband should return to teaching. Zelda knew she got through to him and was waiting for Faustus to ask her to return to the academy. So, she was shocked when he told her he gotten a job at Greendale middle school, teaching 7th grade. Theo Putnam was also a new teacher.

 It was a cold night in the late December of Cordelia’s sixth year that the child awoke with a start.

“Who’s there?” She demanded with the greatest demand she could mutter as she sat up and looked around the darkened room. She looked around and saw nothing, yet she felt someone was nearby. Cordelia sighed, this wasn’t a new feeling. She pulled back her blankets and got up. Might as well go to the bathroom while I’m awake. She thought.

“Hey, Salem.” Cordelia petted Sabrina’s familiar on her way back to bed. Then she picked up her favorite doll, tucked it under her arm, sighed as she laid down, and closed her eyes.

 The next thing she knew, sunlight tickled at Cordelia’s eyelids. 1 quick look at the clock and she jolted out of bed and down the hallway. Her own school had let out for Christmas yesterday, but the academy was a year-round boarding school that demanded much of its headmistress. Cordelia felt that she spent less than 10 minutes with her mother all week. Maybe it was still early enough to catch her. She stopped short in her parents’ doorway. Not only was no one in here, but the bed was made and everything was neat, suggesting that both her parents left long ago.

“It's not even 9 yet! Well, so much for that idea.” Cordelia muttered as she headed for the steps. Downstairs, Cordelia found her brother fluttering back and forth before the front door as if he was preparing to go out. “Where’re you going, Jake?” she asked from the stairway.

Jake looked up, pausing as he put on his coat. “Good morning, Cordy. Mom just called, she needs someone to fill in for her with the choir ASAP.”

“Mom’s already at the school?”

Unfortunately, Jake was too busy to notice the sadness in his sister’s tone. “Yeah. Bye.”

Cordelia was left to frown at the closed door when the wonderful smells finally reached her nose. Those smells only appeared when someone special visited. Now wearing a tiny smile, the 6-year-old ran into the kitchen and hugged the visitor from behind. “Hi, auntie H!”

Hilda, who was baking, half-turned and gave her niece a 1 arm hug. “Hello, darling.”

From his stool 3 feet away, Ambrose waved. “Hello, cousin.”

“Hello, another Spellman who no longer lives here.” Cordelia teased good-naturedly and Ambrose laughed. He and Prudence had only moved into a small apartment together downtown 3 months ago.

Meanwhile, Hilda wiped her hands on a towel. “It’s cereal alright for breakfast?”

Cordelia smiled and nodded. “Yes, please.”

“So, Cordy, how did you sleep?” Asked Ambrose.

“Good! For the most part.”

Ambrose and Hilda exchanged a look. “For the most part?” repeated her aunt.

“Ghostbusting again, cuz?”

Cordelia gave Ambrose an annoyed sideways glance. “No, Ambrose. Ghostbusting would imply that I actually see the spirit.”

Ambrose was now confused. “Wait, you don’t see the ghosts? Ever? But you had this problem for a while.”

“Since before feasts of feasts as I recall,” Hilda added.

“I don’t understand. If you can’t see them, how do you know they’re ghosts?”

Cordelia shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know, it’s just a feeling. Most girls my age are scared of ghosts; I just want them to make up their minds! They should show themselves, tell me what the problem is so I can help or just let me be so I can sleep at night.”

Hilda and Ambrose both had nothing to say so they just stared at the girl. Cordelia sighed, what was needed now was a change of subject and she found it on the serving tray. “Who pops popcorn this early in the morning?”

Ambrose sprang to life. “Oh, I almost forgot!  I was supposed to bring out the cranberries and popcorn to Dr. C and Uncle Faustus. They finally setting up the Yule tree!” Ambrose grabbed the tray and rushed out of the kitchen.

“Well, I got to go too,” Cordelia announced.

“Why?” Asked Hilda.

“Because my bowl of cereal was on that tray!”

Hilda laughed, shook her head, and returned to her baking.

 “I swear, we get this tree up later and later every year.” Faustus sighed.

“Well, we’re busy men,” Dr. C assured him. “Me at my bookstore, you at the middle school. Here comes Ambrose, at last.”

Faustus smiled as the younger warlock rushed in. “We were beginning to think you’d forgotten us.”

“I’m so sorry that it took me so long,” Ambrose said.  “Aunt Hilda and I got to talking and then Cordelia walked in.”

“Oh? Cordy’s up?”

“I sure am!” The child was right on Ambrose’s heels. She was closer to Dr. C so she greeted him first. “Hi, Uncle C” She hugged him and then went over to her father. “Hi, Daddy” she giggled when Faustus kissed the cheek of his youngest child. The 2 men went back to trying to steady the tree, as Ambrose found a chair and began to thread the popcorn and cranberry strings together. After reclaiming her breakfast, at last, Cordelia sat on the sofa and asked about the only thing on her mind.

“How long ago did Mom leave for the academy this morning?”

“About an hour and a half to 2 hours ago” Faustus answered casually. “Why? Do you need her?”

Cordelia frowned. “No, I don’t need her per say, but I do miss her. It’s like I barely have seen her this week.”

“Don’t worry, baby,” Faustus soothed his daughter. “While it’s true that Solstice demands more of the high priestess’s time than normal, all she has to do is get through today and perform tomorrow’s midnight mass then Zelda will be free to spend the rest of the holidays with us.”

“Don’t forget when we go get the girls tomorrow.” Dr. C added. “Zelda would never miss that.”

Although both LJ and Sabrina left for college 6 years ago, the girls were still away for their education but for different reasons. Unlike Jake, who left a year after his sister and cousin and return 2 years later, business degree in hand. Poor Sabrina was having a tough time, having changed her major 3 times. On the flip side, LJ had not only completed university in record time but was enrolled in 2 different medical schools. When done, LJ would not only be 1 of the few female witch doctors, she would also be the 1st witch doctor trained in mortal medicine. With a sister on her way to glory and her mother already in the history books as the 1st high priestess, Cordelia was extremely proud of her family and sometimes wondered if greatness lay in her future as well.  Having finished her breakfast, Cordelia now lay the now-empty bowl on the coffee table and went to the old cardboard box that held the tree decorations.  After a few seconds of digging around, Cordelia was able to her favorite one. It was a diamond full moon on 1 side and the other side was a picture frame. The picture itself was taken on her 1st solstice. It was of Zelda, Faustus, and Cordelia herself, when she was still just a baby. While Cordelia stood admiring the photo, Dr. C lost his balance on the step stool and bump into the girl, causing her to lose her grip on the glass moon and it smashed on the floor.

Dr. C rushed to the child’s side. “Oh Cordelia, I’m so sorry!” He hugged her.

Cordelia put on a brave face. “It’s okay, uncle C. We have lots of others.”

As they spoke, the fragments of the glass moon float up in the air and magically fixed itself.

“But this 1 is your favorite,” Faustus held it in the palm of his hand. “I know because it’s my favorite too.”

Cordelia smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

  Putting up the tree nearly took all day. Cordelia was excused because right after lunch, the Warner triplets called their friend to come with them to go to the mall to see Santa. Cordelia was gone all afternoon and returned just in time for dinner yet her mood seemed to change. She was quiet and seemed angry. At first, Hilda thought her niece was annoyed because Zelda called to say that she was too busy to come home for dinner.  Then, in the middle of supper, Jake knocked over a glass of water. On the other side of the table, his baby sister jumped up in horror.

“You should be more careful!” She shouted before she ran out of the room. Faustus and Hilda found Cordelia in her room pacing back and forth before her bed. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry!” She muttered to herself.

“Cordy? What’s wrong?” Faustus asked.

His daughter looked up, frowning. “You should have told me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“THAT OUR KIND CAN MELT!!”  Cordelia shouted.

Faustus and Hilda exchanged a confused look. “Cordelia, love,” Hilda said gently, “what exactly did you and your friends do this afternoon?”

Cordelia sighed. “After the trip to the mall to see Santa, Mr. Warner invited me back to their house for hot chocolate and it was there that Erin, Emily, Erica, and I watched a movie.”

“What movie?” Her father asked.

“The Wizard of Oz.”

Both Faustus and Hilda felt instant relief. Hilda left to go inside the bathroom while Faustus took his daughter by the hand, guided her to the bed, so they could both sit down.

“Darling, while it’s true the mortals have short lives, while we witches can live for centuries and centuries. Surely, we can’t live that long if we are in danger of something as common as water.”

“But in the movie-“

“The movie is not real. It’s pretend, make-believe. You remember when you, Mommy, and I had our talk about make-believe?”

Cordelia nodded. “I remember, but it’s so confusing! After all, mortal parents tell their children that witches are make-believe.”

Faustus nodded. “That’s true but I can prove I’m right! Think back to every mass you attended, all the times Zelda took you with her to the academy, have you ever, after all that time with the coven, even seen a green witch?”

“No. Hey, wait  a second, I didn’t tell you that the witch was green! How did you know?”

Faustus laughed. “The Wizard of Oz is a very famous movie and you’re not the 1st witch to get spooked by water after seeing it. I guess you could call it a witch childhood rite of passage by now.”

“Your father’s right,” said Hilda, coming toward the bed, glass in 1 hand. “When your cousin Sabrina saw that movie, she reacted the exact same way you did. That’s when Zelds and I came up with the test.”

“Test? What kind of test?”

“Come here and I’ll show you.” When Cordelia didn’t move and kept staring at the glass, Hilda tried again. “What’s wrong? Don’t you trust me?”

This softened Cordelia immediately. “Of course I do, Auntie H.” The child got off the bed and came forward and Hilda knelt down to look her niece in the eye. “Now just give me 1 of your fingers.” Cordelia offered up a finger. Hilda took it and put the tip of the finger just under.  “Now, how does that feel?”

“Wet.” Was the child’s only reply.

Hilda laughed. “Yes, it’s wet, but what else? Does your finger feel like it is going to fall off or melt?”

Cordelia smiled and shook her head.  Hilda smiled. “Good, the test has worked in our favor yet again.”

“Thank Hecate!” Faustus added. “Can you imagine how foul our world would be if none of us would be allowed to bathe?”

Cordelia laughed at her father’s funny face as Hilda kissed her brow.

  A few hours later, Faustus turned down the bed as Cordelia got ready in the bathroom.

“Cordy, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“Doing it right now, Dad.”

Faustus couldn’t resist. “With water?”

First, there was silence then came a low moan. Faustus smiled to himself.

Cordelia switched off the bathroom light and walked more into her bedroom. “Hecate, I’m dumb,” She muttered.

When she was close enough, Faustus put his arm around his daughter. “You are not dumb. You, my girl, are 6. Considering how you speak and behave most of the time, it’s easy to forget how young you are.”

Cordelia gave a half-smile. “Still young enough to be read to?”

“Not very subtle, miss Spellman.”

Cordelia giggled and crawled into bed as Faustus grabbed the book on the nightstand. Some little girls like fairy tales, most, at least, like a story with a plot. But most nights, Cordelia favored spell books, especially the Latin ones, even though Cordelia didn’t speak the language. She said it soothed her faster. Tonight, Faustus only read a page and a half before Cordelia was fast asleep. He tucked her in and tiptoed out of the room. The next thing Cordelia was aware of; someone was arranging her blankets. Her 1st thought was that the troublesome ghost was back but she was instantly awake when she saw who it really was.

“Mommy! I missed you so much today!” Cordelia sat up and threw herself into Zelda’s arms.

Zelda kissed her brow. “I’ve missed you too, little one. I didn’t mean to wake you, but your father told me that you had a scare today.”

“That’s not important,” Cordelia dismissed. “Will you come with us to pick up LJ and Sabrina tomorrow morning?”

Zelda nodded. “I will, but I must get back to the academy by early afternoon at the very latest.”

Cordelia frowned. “But tomorrow is the day before Solstice. You always spend it with us.”

“I know precious but we’re so behind this year. I mean, the church is not yet decorated or prepared for midnight mass yet.”

“How about I go with you? That way you could get your work and we could still be together.”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“No! Wait! Don’t go yet.” Cordelia grabbed her book. “Read to me.”

“It’s late, Cordelia.”

“Please, Mom?”

Normally, Zelda would have held firm but she felt massively guilty about barely being home lately. Zelda sighed and took the book. “Move over.”

An hour later, Faustus went to look for his wife and found Zelda and Cordelia snuggled up together, both fast asleep. Faustus went to Zelda to whisper to her. “It’s late, my love. We’re going to have to leave for the airport, well, in just a few hours now.”

“Mmm,” was Zelda’s only reply.

It was only then that he saw the book. “Did Cordy get another story out of you?”

Again, “Mmm.”

“Dearest, are you asleep?”

“Mmm?”

Faustus smiled. “That’s what I thought.” Gently, he put 1 hand under Zelda’s head and the other 1 under her knees. Then he carried Zelda out of Cordelia’s room and back to their own bed.

 Even though they had only been home a few weeks before for feats of feasts, Sabrina and LJ’s homecoming was a joyful one. At the airport, there was much hugging and kissing, done by all the family. The morning flew by with all their laughing, talking, and catching up. After lunch, most of the family went to the church with Zelda to help set things up, yet Sabrina went for a different reason. All Sabrina had to do was wait for an opportunity to talk to her aunts alone. She got 2 and chickened out both times. Fed up with her own failure, Sabrina teleported herself back to Spellman’s kitchen and groaned.

“Just tell them, you coward!”

The loud whistle of the kettle startled Sabrina. She turned and saw Faustus at the stove,1 of his eyebrows rose. “Something wrong, Sabrina?”

She could feel her eyes watering. “Yes.”

Faustus said the 1st thing that came to mind. “Are you changing your major again?”

Sabrina shook her head. “No, I’m not changing my major. I’m not going back to school at all!” There, she finally said it.

For his part, Faustus got out 2 cups and saucers, poured the tea, and sat down at the table with Sabrina.

“I can’t seem to bring myself to tell Auntie Hilda and Aunt Z. I wasted 5 years, 3 majors, and all that money. My aunties are going to be so disappointed.”

In an effort to comfort his niece, Faustus took Sabrina’s hand in his. “All your aunts have ever wanted for you is to be happy.”

“I tried, I tried so hard.” Sabrina’s lip quivered.

“I know,” Faustus soothed. “Maybe this could be a blessing in disguise,” he suggested. “Maybe, by taking a semester off will help you relax and figure out for sure what you really want to do.”

“But I was sure all those times I change my majors,” Sabrina stressed.

“You know, 1 of my favourite teachers once told me that the secret to professional success is to pick something that you love and are good at.”

“But I don’t know what I’m good for a job.”

“What about helping people? You’re good at that.”

“But that could any career.” Sabrina pointed out.

“How about a therapist? I would be lost without mine.”

Sabrina smiled. “A therapist? Me? You remember I’m the one who causes most of the problems around here?”

“Oh, that was when you were a teenager,” Faustus dismissed. “You’re grown up a lot since then. Besides, if nothing else, the outlook of a half-mortal, half-fallen angel raised by witches is bound to be interesting.”

Sabrina laughed. “True. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thanks, Uncle Faustus.”

He was shocked. “You’ve never called me uncle before.”

“I know but it’s high time I did.”

 “Dad? I’ve been wondering something for a long time, but I’m not sure how to ask.”

It was late that night and Faustus was readying Cordelia for midnight mass. In his opinion, she looked great. His daughter was wearing a new red dress, her white winter tights, and shiny black Mary Janes. He was now adding the finishing touch of a ribbon in her red hair, exactly like her mother’s. “Cordy, don’t be scared. You know you can ask me anything.”

“Okay, Dad, don’t you believe? I mean, I know that Uncle C isn’t a warlock, so it makes sense that he doesn’t share our faith, but why don’t you believe?”

“But I do believe, sweetheart. I was baptized the night after you were born.”

Cordelia seemed confused. “You were?! Then why don’t you ever attend mass?”

Faustus sighed. “You have to leave in a few minutes and it’s a very long story and I promise that someday we will discuss this in greater detail, but for now all I can tell you that when I was high priest, before you were born, I did things that I am deeply ashamed of. The coven has since forgiven me but I am still weary of being near them.  I do attend mass, in fact, I’m there every week, but I don’t sit up front with the rest of the family, I actually like to sit in the very back pew. I also like to be the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. I like it when the coven doesn’t even notice me.”

Cordelia thought for a moment and then said, “Are you sorry about what you did?”

“Oh, Hecate, yes! I’m sorrier than anyone can ever know.”

Cordelia shrugged. “Then the coven has to forgive you. It’s just good manners.”

Faustus hugged his daughter, grateful for her innocent logic.

   A little later, Cordelia found herself at the church, sitting in the front pew with Hilda, Sabrina, Ambrose, and the twins while Prudence sang in the choir. Even at 6, Cordelia felt proud that it was her mother who performed the service, glorious in her white and gold robes. During the middle of the service, Cordelia took advantage of her end seat and looked toward the back. Sure enough, she found her father, who waved at her. After mass, Cordelia stayed behind to help clean up and help her mother say goodbye to the coven. When they drove home, there a raven haired woman near the stairs. Cordelia didn’t know who the lady was but, judging the way her mother was gripping the wheel, Cordelia guessed her mother did.

“Is she the one who keeps bothering you?” Zelda asked.

“No, I don’t think so. Mom, who is that?”

“Go inside and get dressed for bed, Cordy. It’s late.”

Cordelia did as she was told but she did pick up some bits of dialogue.

“Bright solstice, Zelda.”

“What are you doing here, Lilith?”

“Come now, surely I’m allowed to check up on my son’s future bride.”

That was all Cordelia heard. 10 minutes later, Zelda came into Cordelia’s room to kiss her daughter goodnight.

“Mom?  I heard you and that lady talking. Who’s getting married? Prudence or LJ?”

“No one in this house is getting married!” Zelda declared firmly.

Zelda went to bed mad and woke up even angrier. “I don’t get it, Faustus.” She said to her husband as they went downstairs for breakfast. “We heard or seen nothing of Lilith these past 6 years and the 1st thing she mentions is that stupid marriage contract that I signed in invisible ink and can’t possibly be binding. Lilith knows that! What game is she playing at?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” Faustus answered honestly. “Whenever it is, we’ll deal with it together like we always do. Today is solstice. It’s time to celebrate that and the fact that this is your 1st day off in weeks. Then, later on, tonight, I get to show you how terribly I and our bed, have missed you.”  He kissed her hard before they walked into the kitchen, hand in hand.

 According to tradition, the family waited until sundown to gather round the Yule tree and start exchanging gifts. Half an hour later, the get together was in full swing, with music, talking, and laughing all filling the air. It was about this time that Faustus gave Zelda a small blue ring box. Inside was the 6th annual charm that Faustus gave his wife every Yule to go on the bracelet that he had given her on their 1st Solstice that they spent together as a married couple. However, the meaning of this year’s charm was lost on Zelda.

“A white rose?”

Faustus nodded. “A symbol of eternal love.”

Zelda gave a sly smile. “Yours or mine?”

Faustus laughed and stroked his wife’s cheek as he received Zelda’s thank you kiss. Then Faustus stood up and grabbed a skinny gift from under the tree. He passed it to Cordelia.  “Speaking of jewellery, here a little something from your mother and me.” Cordelia smiled as she took the gift and unwrapped it. It turned out be a golden chain with a crescent moon attached, not unlike her own birthmark. She looked up at her parents from her place on the floor.

“I love it! Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Mom.” Cordelia got up and hugged both her parents.

“May Hecate bless and keep you, my Cordelia.” Zelda smiled at her daughter.

“Amen.”

“Oh, it seems we ran out of music and could use a new Christmas CD.” Hilda sighed.

“I’ll go change it since I’m up.”  Cordelia offered and journeyed to the stereo but before she got there, she passed a window and froze.  She looked very upset.

It was Hilda who first noticed her distress.  “Cordy, darling? What’s wrong?”

“It’s her,” Came her niece’s reply. “The ghost that keeps up me at night. She’s right outside.”

“How do you know? You said you never saw her.” Ambrose pointed out.

Cordelia shook her head. “I never did, but I always felt her just as I feel her now and I’m looking straight at her.”

Faustus got up to collect his daughter.  “Come sit down, sweetheart.  We’ll figure all this out later.” Yet just as he put an arm around Cordelia, he looked out the window and saw the ghost too. “Constance?”

“Faustus, may I see you out in the hall for a minute?” Zelda asked as she rose.

 “I think we should let Constance in.”

Faustus couldn’t believe his ears. “What?  Zelda dearest, what are you saying?”

“Well, I think it’s perfectly oblivious why she’s here.”

Faustus nodded. “Yes, she’s here to ruin our family solstice.”

“No,” his wife disagreed, “I think she’s here to see her children, the twins, as is her right.”

“I think you’re giving her too much credit. Don’t you remember how she behaved the last time we made contact with her? You had to bar her from the house!”

“That was over 6 years ago. Maybe she changed.”

“Changed?!” Faustus sneered. “Then why has she  been  bothered Cordy for over a month?”

“Why don’t you go out there and ask her yourself?”

“Fine, I will,” Faustus agreed. “But you’re coming with me.”

A moment later, Zelda and Faustus stepped out onto the frozen porch. Constance was right before them.

“If we allow you into this house, will you abide by its rules and customs?” Faustus asked.

Constance smiled as she nodded. “I will.”

“Come in. You are welcome.” With those simple words, Zelda broke her own spell.

The whole family was shocked when Faustus and Zelda returned with the ghost. Hilda was the 1st to recover.

“Um, Ambrose, Prudence, Sabrina, Cordy, could you come to help me and your uncle C in the kitchen?”

“I think I’ll join you.” Zelda turned to join the family, but Constance called her back. “Please stay, Zelda, there’s something I would like to say to you too.”

“Ok.” Zelda was unsure as she slid into her chair next to Faustus. The twins were sitting on the sofa. Zelda noticed that the twins were holding hands, something they only did when they were really anxious.

“Is it true?”  Jake asked. “Are you really our mother?”

“She’s only our birth mother,” his sister answered him, “Zelda is our real mother.”

“LJ, please!” Zelda didn’t mean it, but her mothering tone came through.

Constance didn’t seem to mind as she stared at the twins and smiled. “You are both so beautiful.”  She touched LJ’s face. “My daughter on her way to becoming a witch doctor!”

Jake lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry I’m not a genius like LJ.”

“Are you happy, my son?”

“I am.”

Constance smiled. “That’s all that matters.”

“And we’re safe,” LJ added.

“That’s right,” Jake agreed. “Blackwood is no more.”

Constance smiled. “I know; I’ve been watching you. I’ve been watching all of you.” Constance turned. “Which brings me back to you, Zelda Spellman. I have something important to say to you. Thank you. Ever since you dispatched with Blackwood, you have done everything to make sure that my children felt safe and loved. I can never thank you enough for that.”

LJ got up and walked to Zelda’s side. “Why would even doubt her? She cared for us when we were babies. I mean, this is the same woman who whisked me away at birth and loved me when she didn’t have to.”

You must understand,” Constance stressed. “The last time I saw Zelda; she was heavily pregnant. I thought that she would prefer her own child and become a petty and jealous stepmother to the 2 of you. Just” Constance sighed and cast down her eyes in shame. “Just as I did with Prudence. Happily, that didn’t happen. She loves you as if you were her own.”

“I love them because they are my own,” Zelda said gently, “Just as Cordelia and Prudence are. Perhaps you would have learned this if you’ve survived but a mother’s heart can never be too full.”

“Wait,” Jake was confused. “If all you wanted was to have a peaceful heart-to-heart, then why have you been bothering Cordy all this time?”

Constance looked startled.  “Have I?   I didn’t mean to. Please apologize to her for me.”

LJ leaned in to whisper in Zelda’s ear.  “I guess the divine child’s powers can pick up a rogue ghost better than we can.”

Zelda’s focus was elsewhere at the moment. “Constance, you’re glowing. You’ve never looked better.”

The ghost blushed like a schoolgirl. “Am I? Well, I guess being at peace agrees with me then. You see, I recently re-met a friend from childhood on the other side, and he has been helping me to put aside my anger and bitterness. I’m starting to see things differently now. Zelda, I understand that you didn’t set out to break up my marriage, Faustus’s heart was yours long before I came around. It’s perfectly fine that my children have 2 mothers, as long as they are loved and protected.”

Sensing that her time was up, Constance kissed both her children and turned to leave when

“Wait.” It was the 1st time Faustus had spoken since they had all sat down. Now, he stood and when to the ghost. “Constance, I have never seen you speak so tenderly or behave so kindly. I just to say I’m sorry. We never were a love match but I could have been kinder to you during our marriage. Not pressuring you for a son, been more of a comfort during your miscarriages. Enjoy the happiness you have now; you certainly deserve it. Bright Solstice.” He gave her a peck on the cheek. The lights flicked and then the ghost was gone.

It was when Constance was gone that Jake fell on his knees before Zelda. “We love you, bonus mom.”

LJ hugged her. “We sure do.”

Faustus watched this touching scene for a moment and then turned his attention to the hallway.  “Okay, guys, you can come out now. Don’t think I don’t see you spying over there!”

The guilty gang filed back into the living room and the Solstice celebrations continued.1 hour later, the room was quiet as Ambrose read Charles Dickins’ A Christmas Carol aloud. Fearing that she would too big to do it next year, Cordelia grabbed her favorite blanket and settled herself on Zelda’s lap. She was going to ask if she was too heavy when her mother held her closer.

“Hecate, bless us, everyone,” Cordelia whispered.

[arlocedwards]

╰ ✧ HARRY STYLES. MUSE NINE. PANSEXUAL ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own ARLO EDWARDS! a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD, CISMALE that goes by HE/HIM pronouns. i heard they were voted BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very IDEALISTIC and INTUITIVE, but watch out for their DETACHED and DESTRUCTIVE side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a MUSICIAN and finally get this summer started! ( kt / 24 / pst / she/her )

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is some info about my bb, arlo. ** insert clown emoji but make him yee-haw ** 

trigger warning : death .

NAME: arlo cornelius edwards. GENDER: cismale. PRONOUNS: he, him. AGE: twenty-four ( 24 ). BIRTHDAY: february 14th. ZODIAC: aquarius !! HOMETOWN: kent, england. ORIENTATION: pansexual OCCUPATION: drummer. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english & french. FACECLAIM: harry styles ~ currently featuring long hair.  :’-) 

kt’s note: I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG, SO IF YOU DON’T READ IT, I WILL NOT GET OFFENDED. 

but, just read this so y’know what you’re getting yourself into when interactions open : death tw: arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴀʀʟᴏ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

arlo was born in kent, england. i know what you’re wondering, and yes, he does have an accent. :’-) his family moved to new york when he was five years old because arlo’s father was offered a high level position within his company.

arlo was born into a loving family, him being the middle child. he has two supportive parents, sasha edwards (his mother), & carter edwards (his father). there are two years separating him from both his older brother and younger sister. his older brother ( now deceased ) was named holden edwards, and his little sister is named ivy edwards. his older brother can be imagined as eric matthews from boy meets world ( at the end of the day, they were bffs ) & his little sister is quite literally cher horowitz from clueless mixed w/ a splash of bianca stratford from 10 things i hate about you  ( they are polar opposites which makes for a fun dynamic !! )

growing up, arlo enjoyed playing all types of sports - there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t really good at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual. he would go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. he will fight  you over board games and make alliances in monopoly to mess w/ you. 

his interest in taking up an instrument kicked in when he was seven years old. he and his dad were driving back from a hockey game together late at night, and his dad played him the song moby dick by led zeppelin & he knew it was something that he wanted to pursue bc “john bonham was a genius.” ~ arlo vc. and so his dad gifted him a drum set on his eighth birthday !! :’-) soft. but over the years he was exposed to other instruments and can also play the guitar, piano, and he has a nice set of pipes !! harry styles being his vc as well ~ makes it easy. he really wants to learn the saxophone tho??? don’t get him started - he will go on and on and on.

throughout highschoool ; arlo was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not! just soft things.

until now - now anti-soft. hard things.  sdgjdjgd okay, so, arlo is A Mess™️. and i say that with so much love in my bones. arlo is the type of friend that is honest, and all about tough love when it’s needed. he doesn’t mind getting into a fight or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. he will tell you when you’re fucking up, and if you’re throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it. this ties in l8r !!

he’s just a bit desperate to feel against following the death of his brother & also post-break up with shanley? ( which give me one hot sec and i’ll go into those v soon ) but overall he just wants to feel like himself again, y’know ?? don’t we all. amen & what not. to break it down, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all, and he’s sadly willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels numb. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ MIND YA BUSINESS.

arlo’s lurve life : woo ! okay, welcome back -- let’s get into it. so shanley and arlo dated throughout hs and into their first year of college, for a whopping five years together before they broke up. god if you’ve made it this far, i applaud you...but hmu and let me know your fav color, okay? like and comment below ?? subscribe ?? thx. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS. in case you’re wondering who broke up with who, gosh so nosy, let me just tell you ‘twas arlo. he did it, we can unfollow his ass now. BUT ~ he didn’t want to ? y’know. he felt like due to the long distance, she was missing out on college experiences and her waiting by the phone for him to call was just sad, and he felt guilty. he wanted her to enjoy her time and felt as if he was weighing her down. although he did try make an effort to fix this doing by visiting her that weekend at her university in chicago, but when he came across her with friends he felt stupid and bailed back to cali again. a couple months later he called her, hoping to apologize for his poor judgement and admit to his mistake of ending the relationship, but she wasn’t the one who answered the phone. arlo assumed the random guy who answered was shanley’s new boyfriend (although , he was shanley’s roommates boyfriend but my sad dumb ass boi didn’t know ). arlo only assumed the voice belonged to shan’s bf bc he swears the voice distinctly said “coming, babe!” ( although he did, just not to shanley) and ever since arlo’s been a bit jaded when it comes to romance. shanley called him back later that day, and arlo shrugged her off bc he was jealous af and drunk - claiming he “butt dialed her and it wouldn’t happen again.” :’-( since then they haven’t been in contact. 

he was so in love with shanley, and despite him being the one to end things, he’s never fully gotten over her. he’s definitely hooked up with other people, but my boy is not the committing type after that relationship. 

after high school, arlo attended stanford university, as they offer one of the best criminal law programs across the nation. wahoo ! yahtzee !

after graduating college, arlo moved to san francisco & moved in with ali !! they have a nice little place overlooking the golden gate bridge w/ quality acoustics for their creative music projects. / also where he currently lives !! :’-) we love a bromance.

while in san francisco, arlo attended university to continue on pursuing his law degree  and after two years was able to graduate with his juris doctor. 

TRIGGER WARNING : DEATH / CAR ACCIDENT / DRUNK DRIVING. the death of his brother is very recent, like four weeks ago recent. arlo and his brother were road tripping across the states back to their family home in NY to visit their parents, when a drunk driver struck the driver side of their vehicle, which on impact killed his brother. arlo has survivors guilt as a result from the accident. he and his brother had switched seats a couple minutes prior to the collision, after arlo had asked to switch with him in order to rest for a bit. :’-( miraculously, arlo was unscathed in the greater scheme of all things injury-based. he’s entering the villa w/ a couple broken ribs, broken left arm and scrapes/cuts. so plz sign his cast. 

post-break up with shanley, they had some type of unspoken agreement of trading off years of who gets to attend the summer( aka who has custody of the sclub ) and so last year, arlo did not attend. however, this year, they somehow got their info wrong about who was going / not going, so they have found themselves here at the same time. this being the first time they’ve seen each other since holidays during their first year of college previous to their break up. so get ready for some spice.

last summer, since arlo wasn’t attending the sclub reunion, he was taking the california state bar exam. which is only offered twice a year - he opted for the one in july and passed! :’-) he spent some time after the exam in europe with hastrid. <3

however, arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

overall : arlo truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his chaotic energy. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day.

however rn, with his current state of mind, arlo is just going through the motions. numbing himself with unhealthy outlets and has a different type of mentality. definitely engaging in a bit of the more chaotic activities, as well as leaving everyone alone to their own vices as well. whereas his typical behavior would be more so attempting to lead them onto a better path if it meant well for their overall wellbeing. 

habits : smoking cigarettes ( ali likely nags him bc they aren’t herbal ) . staying up into the early hours of the morning, and yet somehow still an early riser ( hence, he drinks an absurd amount of coffee ). yeah, hence. - get it, from the house bunny? sdjfkngdg any who, he’s in a phase of numbing via alcohol and drugs rn. 

personality type : INTP - T / THE LOGICIAN

moral alignment : chaotic good

tarot card : the hermit ( currently )

character inspo : connor walsh from how to get away with murder, jess mariano from gilmore girls, & ambrose spellman from chilling adventures of sabrina ( literally his #1 ranked personality match on a quiz i took ) !! so, we have that ! and also a heavy sprinkle of seth cohen from the o.c.

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

the album ‘fine line’ by golden child, harry styles in this case will be used as a hc for arlo. arlo wrote and recorded the album - all songs included, with his muse being shanley over the course of the last couple of years. he’s just kind of been sitting on the entire thing, never really feeling it was the right time to release his work/side solo project...but later this summer, he may just leak it. :’-)

arlo is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school.

those who inspire him : roger taylor, mick jagger, alex van halen, john bonham.

LUNA : ali and arlo co-founded the band with friends edie dorn and guy perkins in junior high. playing gigs where they could as often as possible. arlo was on lead vocals, ali as lead guitarist, edie on bass, and guy on drums. although when it came down to recording and what not they seemed to bounce around when it came to other instruments - v experimental. the band took off in college, prior to something strange and over the years they’ve produced numerous albums and have won a couple awards. 

red roses are his Thing™️ ; fans of the band will walk up and hand him them. i think that’s soft. and i am here for it.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

fun fact : dirty dancing is v much so a sharlo movie. they used to practice and be able to successfully pull of the jump & lift dance move literally just for fun / bc they wanted to. after nailing the lift, they learned the entire dance - i can't. dfjkgndjkg SOFT.

arlo has all of harry’s tattoos !! makes it simpler, might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

also the ‘ h & s ‘ rings that will be seen in photographs later on are for his brother, holden, and bbg, shanley </3

arlo is a gucci enthusiast - having much of his closet filled with staple pieces over the years. to further his love for the brand, he was recently asked to be in an upcoming campaign for the fall season - he’s v jazzed about it.

ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 ( open connection ) : with arlo being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may constantly worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 / 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 ( open connection ) : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embracing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details.

open to other connection you may have in mind! :’-)  LMK!!!! <3 i love me some chemistry !!!

ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ( featured on arlo’s connections page here !! )

𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖙𝖘 ( taken - simon peralta ) : these two went through rough break ups of their own, and a rebound didn’t sound too bad to either of them at the time things started. it may not occur all the time, but they sometimes still find themselves offering up to one another. this occurred more frequently then any of arlo’s one night stands, obvi, but it never surpassed anything other than the physical aspect of their relationship. the nature of their relationship outside of the bedroom can go either way !!!  :’-)

𝖆 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick ) : as if living together for the past two years wasn’t enough, ali & arlo are also roommates every summer that arlo attends the sclub reunions. these two are always laughing, and saying some ridiculous ish. you’ll likely hear loud jam sessions and howling laughter / the occasional excited shouting back and forth from their room in the late hours. they are truly nothing but a good time and tbh, they know it. that and the fact that they have the best hair in the villa. djfgnjkdfg FIGHT ME !!

𝖍𝖎𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( taken - shanley evans ) : these two began their relationship in their freshman year of high school - spending five years together before breaking up in their freshman year of college. * cries in sharlo * they were the “it” couple, no pennywise included … unless ? anyways, everyone thought that they were going to get married, and arlo was v much in love / thinking shanley was his romantic soulmate. yet when they did break up everyone was shookith - even the birds and the bees.

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick , willow finch , sirena rose ) : these four formed something strange. arlo is the drummer of the group, and also writes some songs for the group. they’ve blown up over the years and are a quite successful group.

𝖛 𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌-𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 ( taken - sirena rose / willow finch ) : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. pure relationship.

𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊 ( taken - delilah jacobs ) : ride or dies ! need i say more ?? these two have one anothers backs despite anything and everything going on otherwise. they play in to one anothers antics and enjoy one anothers presence as they can likely be seen dragging one another across town and causing a bit of mayhem together. you can catch them in their beautiful, bitch #1 & #2 tee's.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 ( taken - ramona verdez ) : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although arlo may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around. with arlo having his law degree, he’s always able to squeeze them out of trouble before it gets too serious, so trust - it’s ok !! 

𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 / 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken -  izzy de la rosa ) : these two may have ran in the same circle, but were complete opposites when it came down to their personalities / styles / perhaps even humor, so it was expected for them to stand their distance. however despite the odds, they just clicked !! opposites attract and what not, ya dig??  somehow their dynamic just works and they have a lot of fun together by introducing new things to one another.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 31: End of the Year; End of the Decade

I really want to be able to treat the new year, the new decade, as a new start, to be optimistic and ambitious, and a few days ago I felt like that, tentatively at least. Now I’m a bit more worried, I guess because I’m going back home and back to work soon, and it’s more real. I’m just so nervous. This last year, 2019, was really hard; I look back on how I felt right before the start of vacation, and it was so bad. And I don’t objectively think that 2020 is going to be easier. So my worry is really warring with my ambition. I’m trying to have a good attitude but it’s difficult, like I have to constantly push back at some strong, dark energy.

When I first got to my parents’ house, I was thinking about how this year was hard, but it shouldn’t have been as hard as it was, and feeling kind of bitter about that. Then I started listing to myself things that happened that couldn’t be changed, that just were difficult, and that list became quite long. So I don’t know. This one single year has felt like two or three.

Here’s a decently comprehensive but straightforward list:

January:

My BFF’s wedding! One of the two undeniable highlights of the year: a chance to see her, my other old friends, and my hometown again, perfect even with the additional adventure of an unexpected night in Boston

Interviews for the director’s position, which I missed because of the wedding

February:

Two library-connected deaths, on the same weekend

The director’s official retirement, on the last day of the month; also when we found out, unofficially, who the replacement would be

Support staff luncheon

Law school receptionist retired

 *

March

???

Emotional recovery, I guess. A lot of gray days.

The first round of Chopped (Mar-Apr); gonna be honest, this feels like it was two years ago

 *

April

Visited my parents for Easter, for about a week’s vacation

 *

May

End of the school year; a student who worked for the library, whom I liked very much, graduated

Law school side started the long process of poaching one of the library employees to replace receptionist

 *

June

Started keeping a google calendar

Law school office manager retired

Went to ALA in DC

Got sick (probably from ALA) and took a day off work

 *

July

Had every Friday of the month off, which was pretty cool, but also kept me from taking a longer vacation at this time

New director arrived

 *

August

More big retirements: head of admission; CFO (at some point this summer, either July or August)

Former director’s retirement party (barbecue and blues at the library); found out that my co-worker and his surprise partner are having a baby

VEGAS: the other highlight of the year; absolutely amazing time

 *

September

Attempted to reboot my year with… some lists? As I usually do. Semi-successful I guess? Tried my hardest to feel autumnal even though the weather was not super autumnal

Got an eyelid infection at the end of the month, went through a big adventure to get antibiotics

I think around here was also when I first found out my co-worker would probably be leaving for a different job

 *

October

AOFTA at the beginning of the month

Law school support staff luncheon and college employee luncheon

VLA

An insane writing month: I wrote a bunch for the second round of Chopped and a series of creepy stories for Halloween

Also: Halloween!

 *

November

As soon as Halloween ended, it was time to start thinking about/worrying about Christmas, I think because Thanksgiving was so late, and Christmas activities were so early; the weird feeling that time was moving quickly and slowly at once

Two employees officially leaving at the end of the year

Two weeks of casebook thefts at the library

Started working circ shifts to prepare for next year (co-worker’s paternity leave)

Thanksgiving (very late)

 *

December

Two weeks of nothing but events: law school birthday; Christmas gift exchange; law library December birthdays; staff breakfast (for which I made an apple crisp); going away lunch for my co-worker; secret baby shower

Security meeting and other security-frenzy-related drama

Dean’s search committee information gathering meetings

My birthday (on a Saturday this year)

Wrote Chopped and BSS fics

Depressing final week, and then finally went on vacation

Christmas!

New Year’s Eve!

 *

…I feel like I’m probably forgetting stuff, or putting some events in not quite the right month (like some of the retirements), but…this is a pretty decent summary. Looking at like this honestly makes me feel like it was a harder/more intense year than I had previously given it credit for being.

So… it’s the end of the year, the end of the whole decade. I think 2020 is going to be intense and I want to be brave and strong. I want to be organized, I want to be creative, I want to have good relationships with my friends and my family. I want to make progress on major goals and I want to keep myself mentally healthy.

But I guess the lesson I should learn from this year is that you can’t predict anything, just try your best.

[homosociallyyours]

a friend just posted a pic on fb of the coffee shop we used to hang out at, taken way back in the day. it’s just a shot of the place taken from inside, looking out the big glass windows and onto the street of downtown chattanooga. but one friend pointed out that she could see another friend’s van parked across the street, and one of the baristas came on and said he’d taken the photo and then proceeded to post a bunch more. 

anyway i’m feeling nostalgic so i’m posting about it. memories behind the cut. 

i started going there when i was maybe 15 years old. i don’t remember why, but it’s likely that the artsy nerd club i was a part of (we stayed after school to watch amadeus and monty python and we’d sometimes go to the local art museum) went there after a meeting one day. or maybe someone told me about it. anyway, it was my favorite place to go. i would drink pots of tea, always trying new things. 

on my 16th birthday my parents got me a teapot from there and a gift certificate to buy tea with. i had that teapot til it broke a year ago. 20+ years! it moved with me to and from college, to nyc, california, texas, and back to california. damn. 

anyway after i’d been going for a while i started talking with the owner. his name was ian, and he was pretty young. he loved tea and coffee and he had a roaster where they’d make their own coffee. it was loud and lovely, and for a long time it lived up front, right by a little elevated area with couches. when it was running you couldn’t hear anything and had no choice but to either shout or be quiet. 

ian encouraged my love of tea, and offered to keep track of everything i’d tried in a little notebook that was kept behind the counter. i got to make notes on every pot i drank, and i remember writing “terrible! grass!” after my first pot of green tea (it was oversteeped--my fault--and probably made with water that was too hot--their fault). i had my first pu-er there, and fell in love with its damp leaf flavor and that turned earth scent that it has. i drank multiple pots of jasmine pearls and wrote a caffeine fueled poem about it with a friend. i loved that little coffee shop. 

i don’t remember when i went from hanging out inside to hanging out outside, but i feel like i was 18 or so. the older people (they were probably barely 21-25, fucking babies) sat out there smoking and drinking coffee. i developed a crush one summer on a guy who made me think of arthur dent for some reason (don’t ask because i don’t know) and we went on one awkward date and didn’t kiss, and now i wonder what’s happened to him and if he, too, wasn’t straight. who knows? someone, i’m sure, but i can’t remember his last name anymore so is it even relevant? 

i’d never felt cool til i went off to college. it was like leveling up without trying, like when you’re playing a game and do one action and suddenly all your stats are refilled and you’re like...this is unexpected? but i’ll take it? i think that’s why i decided i could really sit with the outside tables. that and my bff, who was dating someone who was friends with a lot of those people, would show up sometimes and sit out there. 

(if you’ve actually been reading along so far, here’s where i’m gonna introduce you to a bunch of people i’ve never talked about before and will likely never mention again. just so you have fair warning.) 

the cast of characters shifted a lot, but there were always the constants. scott, the barista, who was much older than most of the people hanging out but looked young and seemed young. i look back with adult eyes and question the relationship we had, but at the time i just thought it was cool that someone so much older thought i was worth hanging out with. but he was 30 when i was 19, and man that’s a lotta years. he had a summer where he hit on my friend and i constantly, after his wife left him and he was kinda floundering a bit. but it never went past flirting and it never bothered me, though like i said it kinda does now. we were still hanging out when i was 21 and we’d go get beers after the coffee shop closed at ten or midnight. he’d turn up obnoxious music really loud and i’d sometimes help close. 

there was gabe and george, brother and sister in a family of people with names starting with the letter g. george was tiny and cute and either very drunk or very hyper from coffee at all times. gabe was a nerd who was usually quiet but loved to play scrabble, and we’d take the board inside sometimes and battle one another. he was much better than me, i won’t lie. liz and ever were both writers who would play with us sometimes. ever had changed her name at some point (to ever; any name she had before is irrelevant) and when we met she explained the meaning of her new name, which i won’t give because damn it’s very google-able. 

she was a so fascinating to me, always talking about some feminist theory or philosopher, and i always felt so smart when we’d hang out. like a Serious Thoughtful Adult and not a kid. and liz was less serious but no less smart. she played scrabble a lot more and for a while we got pretty close. she took me out after coffee sometimes to a shitty bar with pool tables and tried to teach me how to play pool. she had her own cue and even though she was like 5′2″ she could break like nobody’s business. i never figured out how to do that part. 

alex would come with us sometimes. he was tall and handsome and rode a motorcycle, and was the first openly bi guy i ever met. one time he invited me over to his house and we laid around listening to the smiths and talking. he burned me a copy of their greatest hits that i still have, all scratched up so it probably doesn’t play anymore. he crashed his bike more than once driving drunk. dumb fuckin kid. now he repairs coffee machines and sails, i think. life is funny. 

a few other people ran in groups. meg and waide and the aforementioned jason and ardyce. some people called meg “big megan” and another megan (her family was really wealthy, rich southern politicians who knew the clintons and have a mention in sweet home alabama--the song, not the movie) was “little megan” because she was still in high school. i joked that i was medium megan, but the whole thing was awkward because big megan was fat and i was small fat and little megan was skinny. i’m gonna blame it on thoughtless dudes, but who the fuck knows? we all pretended not to mind it anyway. 

waide ended up being a connection with other people who i met later. my hometown is weird in that it’s actually a pretty big part of the southern punk scene, so a lot of punks i meet have spent time there, and anyone over a certain age probably spent time at the bar waide worked at (the stone lion, and then maybe also the pickle barrel) so he’s one of those people who i’ll end up mentioning even though we haven’t spoken in years. 

at some point a kid named ory showed up. i think he was 16 when he started coming around, and i used to call him puppy because he was excitable and silly, full of energy one minute and then mopey crashing the next. like a lot of people there he drank a lot and would be fucked up sometimes and make dumb choices. i always wanted to protect him. when i was 22 (and he was 19, i think) we ended up sitting together at the second lotr movie and having some kind of weird chemistry. that summer i drove him home one night and we had a super heavy make out with lots of clothed grinding. honestly the furthest i’ve ever gone with a cis straight(ish, he hooked up with a couple dudes but idk if he’d say he’s bi) dude and it was awkward in that we never talked about it? and then he came to visit me a couple years later in new york because he was in the navy, and he got super drunk and passed out on my couch and was a mess because he literally never stopped being a puppy. 

he’s fucked up now, fully cancelled bc he said shit about girls rock camp (really dude?) and also probably cheated on his wife on their honeymoon? idk, it was fb rumors and then he deleted. but i’d believe it, honestly. 

and then there were all these absolutely random downtown characters: dirty mark (a crusty punk who was drunk or high most of the time) and shirtless dave (yeah he really didn’t wear a shirt that much) usually came as a pair. sometimes dave hung out with a guy my friends and i called blue hair. he once hit on my friend and she panicked and gave him my number instead of hers because her brain didn’t make up a fake number fast enough. 

there was sandy the flower man, who just passed away a couple weeks ago. he’d get flowers from local florists and go around on his bike, stopping into the coffee shop or to bars with roses and carnations and daisies. people gave him money usually, but sometimes he’d just hand you a flower because he wanted to. i saw a picture from a memorial and there was a portrait of him that was sat on top of his bicycle, all of it surrounded with flowers on flowers. so pretty. it’s what he deserved. 

things changed around 2005 or so, i think. by that time, all the old baristas had left and the kids who came in were all weirdly religious and went to the christian college on the mountain. they made shitty coffee and sometimes played xtian rock and most of the old regulars couldn’t take it anymore. ian got sick around that time, too, and ended up selling the place. they stopped carrying much tea, if any. 

but they finally sold the space and moved in like 2015. i remember the first time i drove by and didn’t see the lights on inside. it felt like seeing a friend from grade school all grown up, maybe the kid you had a crush on but they have a family now and you don’t think they’d recognize you at all so you just have to walk away. gone. 

fuck this post is long as shit, i’m sorry for anyone on mobile. but damn it was good to get my memories out. 

[appendicitusdolan]

the one with the record // gbd

summary: in mourning, you reflect on the first day you met grayson

a/n: okay so this is a short i wrote for a fiction class i took in college a few years ago. out of the seven shorts i wrote that semester, this one was my favorite, so i revised it a little bit and turned it into a gray short. this could be considered as an AU? because clearly, i didn’t even know who the dolan twins were back in 2016. THAT BEING SAID; there are implications of depression/suicide in this, so if you’re easily triggered by either of those two topics, i advise to not read this one. buuuuuuut i still think it’s a semi-okay-but-maybe-pretty-good short. if you like it, let me know and i can post my other shorts from that class, too. enjoy (:

          The pain ran through your body, burning each and every muscle slowly, one at a time.  Screaming out in pain, you turned down the stove and dropped the pan onto the linoleum tile of the outdated kitchen in her apartment.  You moved over to the sink, turned it on, and let the ice cold water run down the now purple line on your left hand mumbling to yourself about how you should have just ordered take out.  Turning off the water and wiping you hands on the pocket of you favorite tattered hoodie, you felt something crinkle underneath her palm.  You shoved your hand in the pocket and pulled out a folded up piece of paper.  Opening it up, you felt that familiar sharp pain in your chest as you saw the two people printed onto the paper.  Both faces held a giant smile and both sets of eyes seemed to sparkle.  Your arms were wrapped tightly around his waist and his hand rested on your long tanned legs.  Your eyes stung with tears as you remembered how the hazel eyed boy even stumbled into your life four years ago.

          You were on the hunt that day for a record you so desperately wanted.  Since your parents had gifted you your first vinyl record six months ago, you were obsess with finding all of your favorite albums, even the ones you already owned on CDs.  You had looked through almost every record shop in town and still hadn’t had any luck.  The bell at the front of the store alerted any employees when she walked in the front door of the last shop within a 20-mile radius of your house.  It wasn’t a store you visited frequently so you weren’t entirely sure where to start looking or how the records were organized.  You also didn’t see a single employee throughout the entire store.  After a few minutes of aimlessly thumbing through the collection, someone emerged from a door at the back of the store that had a sign that read “Employees Only”.

         “Can I help you with anything?”

         “Actually, I’ve been searching all day and haven’t been able to find Taking Back Sunday’s Tell All Your Friends.  I already have the ten-year anniversary acoustic album that they put out a few months ago, but I can’t seem to find the original.  I’ve kind of just given up hope so now I’m just looking through everything.  I might find something remotely enjoyable for my collection in this unorganized mess,” you rambled to the employee without making any eye contact.

        “I’m sorry you haven’t found what you’re looking for,” the employee sarcastically apologized.

         You suddenly looked up and watch as he stalked toward the door from which he had emerge. Gee, thanks for the help, asshole.

         Almost an hour later, you’d almost made it through the entire store still with no luck in finding what you wanted.  Your phone buzzed in your pocket alerting you of a text message from your best friend asking where you’ve been all day. It’s already eight o’clock? Shit, I was supposed to be at Y/BFF/N’s a half an hour ago.  When does this place close? You shifted your attenion to look around for that guy who seems to have disappeared since your initial exchange.

        “You’ve got another half hour before I have to close up shop,” you heard from three rows behind you.  Turning around to face him, you noticed he hasn’t looked up from the bin he seemed to be reorganizing.  He was wearing a somewhat fitted bright red t-shirt that had, what you assumed, a band’s logo that you didn’t recognize.  You noticed his head bobbing along to the song filling the empty air throughout the store and could faintly hear his voice singing along.

        “Did you happen to find that shit album you were looking for?” He asked without looking up from the bin.

        “No, but it’s not a ‘shit album’,” you mocked back at him.

        “Whatever you say,” he says with a sarcastic chuckle as he shakes his head.

        “What’s your deal?” You questioned with an offended tone and he finally makes eye contact for the first time since you came in the store.  There was an annoyed look on his face and an uncomfortable amount of silence before he answered your question.

        “I don’t have a ‘deal’, but I also can’t appreciate obnoxious people,” he finally answered.

        “Obnoxious?” you raised your eyebrows, leaned back on one foot, and crossed your arms over your chest.

        “You think you might find something in this ‘unorganized mess’ but yet here you are an hour later still thumbing through every. single. one,” he said without breaking the eye contact, “I just don’t get it,” with a side smile, he returned his attention to the bin he was sorting through.

        “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize browsing through a collection was obnoxious,” you said and turned your back to him to continue looking through the albums.

        “You’re so irritating,” he rolled his eyes as he’s suddenly standing next to you holding out the record you had been searching for all day.

        “Are you fucking kidding me?” you nearly screamed in excitement.

        “You must have missed it while you were looking for something remotely enjoyable,” he said over his shoulder as you followed him to the register.

        “Would it kill you to be nice?” You questions as you flipped the record in your hands looking at each side of the cover over and over again.  He had stopped walking and turned around to face you just as you bumped into his chest. Jesus. You looked up at his face, he had to be like a foot and a half taller than you.

        “Yep, and I’m too young to die,” he said with a cheeky smile and in that moment, butterflies filled your stomach and you could feel the heat creeping into your cheeks.

        “Grayson,” he introduced himself.

        “Y/N,” you shyly responded.

        “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before,” Grayson said as he made his way behind the counter.

        “Yeah, I don’t make it to this side of town very often,” you cleared your throat of the nervousness in your voice.

        “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

        “Oh no, I don’t mean it like that, it’s just I never really knew this place existed.  Not that this place isn’t worth knowing about or anything, it’s just that my regular shop didn’t have what I was looking for so I thought I’d venture a bit farther and see what was out there.  But I mean, I think I’ll definitely have to come back,” you were just rambling now.  Why was this arrogant boy having such an affect on you? 

        “Relax, I get it.  We’re small, not many people know we’re here,” Grayson said with a light laugh and you sent him a shy smile.

         As you took a better look at him, you realized that the boy on the opposite side of the counter was much more attractive than your initial judgment.  You were mesmerized by the beauty of his face which you hadn’t noticed when he walked away from you earlier.  You normally didn’t take a liking to facial hair, but the patchy scruff worked for him.  Really well.  He had a wing earring dangling from his left ear and dark brown hair with a subtle caramel highlight.  His jaw line could cut glass and you could tell he was very toned underneath his shirt.

        “It’ll be $21.78,” Grayson said as he reached under the counter for a bag for the record.  You handed him your debit card and made the purchase.  As you reached to take the bag from him, your hands brushed just like the way you’d see in the movies and you swear you jumped a mile in your skin.  You turned to leave the store just and just as you reached the door, you heard Grayson call out to you.

         “I hope you’ll come back again soon,” he said with a smile that you returned and left the store to make your way across the parking lot to your car.

         As soon as you sat down in the driver’s seat, you dug your phone out of your purse and sent a quick text to Y/BFF/N, Sorry, I got distracted at a record shop, I’ll be over in a bit. But just as you were about to start your car, Grayson appeared at your window, scaring the life out of you.

        “Holy shit, you scared me,” you said as you rolled down your driver’s side window.

        “i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he said as he nervously scratched the back of his head, a habit that he’d never been able to break, “but you left this laying on the counter and I figured you’d be missing it.”

         “Oh my god, thank you,” you said as you took your debit card from Grayson’s hand.

        “Not a problem.  Have a nice night.”

         You watched Grayson in the side mirror of your car as he walked back into the store.  Just as he reached the entrance, he turned around and looked in the direction of your car.  You quickly diverted your attention from the side mirror and turned the key in the ignition to start your car.  Music filled the air at a volume that was louder and you anticipated causing you to jump as you reached for your seatbelt.  As you backed out of your parking spot, you noticed Grayson still standing outside the store from the corner of your eye as you drove away.

         The photo had never left your possession since the day he died.  You shoved the photo back into your pocket and walked back to the bedroom you once shared with Grayson.  The pillows and sheet still lay the way he left them, strewn across the bed and floor.  You had left it just the way he had, desperately holding on to every memory of him.  The couch wasn’t the same as your bed, but you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep in it alone.  The only thing left of him was an old hoodie that he had worn all the time.  You remembered clutching it to your chest after you finally managed to enter the bedroom again as you sat on the floor and cried, barely able to breathe.  You sat there for hours that night, praying he would come walking back through the door like always, kidding you all over and tell you how much he loved you.

         You had no idea how much pain Grayson had been in, no one did.  When you answered your phone to his twin brother frantically sobbing and tell you, “Grayson killed himself,” repeating the same sentence for what seemed like an hour, you couldn’t move.  Your knees gave, you fell to the floor, and you dropped the phone with Ethan still on the line.  You stared at the wall for what seemed like a life time as tears stung your cheeks.  Why hadn’t he told anyone?  Why hadn’t you noticed something different about him?  You could’ve helped him.  You could’ve saved his life.

         You constantly thought about every moment you spent with him.  He would insist on cooking you dinner, saying takeout wasn’t healthy every day of the week.  He would wake you up in the morning with a hit cup of coffee and sometimes breakfast.  He would shower you in kisses and mumble about how much he loved you and didn’t want to lose you.

         You also remember your first fight.  Grayson had come home drunk after a night out with his friends and you had tried to make dinner, but he insisted on throwing in rude comments about how you could’ve tried harder.  Minute by minute his words grew harsher and your eyes started to water.  You were soon in a full blown rage, screaming hurtful things in each other’s faces and throwing things.  That fight, much like the ones that followed, had ended with both of you apologizing profusely followed by spending the rest of the night making it up to each other.  Both of you desperate to outdo the other, hungry for each other.

         You picked up the phone and dialed the number of the Chinese place down the street.

        “Yeah, Tom? It’s Y/N.”

[doyoungscarrot]

Red Silk petals (M)

A/N: He~y Carrot here! First of all sorry for the delay on this fic and in general for the Celebruary specials so it’s finally here, Johnny Suh CEO smut hope you like it.

Warnings: ⚠ Graphic sex description

Word count: +3k

Characters: Johnny & Y/N

The feeling between silk and his hot breath was intoxicating my senses, it felt as if liquid pleasures were bathing my feelings and embracing my silhouette, I never imagine this situation, such an addicting situation, how, when and where it doesn’t even matter, when all I can feel is his arms embracing my figure and his lips touch gracing my skin, nothing really mattered, except maybe, being caught between the arms of my boss, the best friend of my husband, Johnny Seo.

You can’t blame me, if you were in the same position as me, I bet you will make the same choice. But let me tell you how I ended in a 5 stars hotel room with him.

Johnny Seo is the CEO of the most successful fashion editorial in Seoul, and also the youngest one, he is American but his parents are South Korean, his day starts at 6 am at that time his coffee and a bagel has to be waiting in his office when he enters, beside his day schedule, mail and checked files, everything just before 5:50 am.

That’s Johnny Seo as a CEO, your boss, but also in the weekends that tall and bad ass looking man is no other but your husband best friend who drags him to watch basketball because he misses it so much, the man who in middle week can fire two or three models in a day because “They are too fat” eats 3 hot dogs and 2 pizzas while talking about wanting BBQ ribs, yeah it’s the same man.

The same man whom even without you wanting, you’ve been fantasizing since College, he may be your husband BFF, but that man was a walking sin.

Mid week is always exhausting because you were his personal assistant, always there before him, but you wish not to be there before that day, when you woke up in Wednesday And head up to the office at 5:07 am, just to arrive there 5:24, opened your boss office, because in weekends he was Johnny but in mid week he was Mr. Seo, you didn’t expect to found him pounding his dick inside an oh so beautiful woman, said woman asking for air and even shredding tears asking for more and harder thrusts with an inaudible voice full of satisfaction, because firstly it was mid week and secondly it was 5:24 am, and even more unexpectedly you never thought you will be founding yourself wanting to be that girl.

In the spare of two seconds said woman looking at you, Johnny looking at you and asking what were you waiting to get out and just a minute later you inside a bathroom trying hard to not make any sound while touching yourself.

Because yes, you always wanted to be fucked like that, to not be able to even breath, but being Lee Taeyong your husband, it meant the one asking to breath was him, exciting but yeah.

At 6:01 am you sneak into your usual spot outside Johnny’s office, wondering if the girl was already gone, or if you have to check him in case he needed something, the phone on your desk suddenly ringing “ May I know why I don’t have my morning coffee?” Johnny asked you “Hello Y/N? Should I have to get it myself?” “Ah, No it’ll be there in 2.” He hung up, Well, maybe you didn’t need to take this as a big deal, right?.

Knocking the door, waiting for him to reply, knocking again “Since when you ask for permission to get in Y/N?”

Was he angry? Maybe, you enter the office, a cup of hot coffee in your hands, no Johnny in sight, the door closed behind you, two long arms taking you from your hips with so much carefulness and bringing you close to him, “Good morning Y/N, since when you come so early, may I know?” He whispered in your ear, caressing your hips with one hand and with other some fingers sneaking along your arm to take the cup in your hands, walking past you, and taking a seat behind his wood desk, an smirk along his lips, his shirt top buttons undone showing his collarbone, his sleeves folded and messy hair, rare sight but a satisfactory sight.

“So, how was your weekend Miss Lee, is Taeyong trying to cook onion soup again?” His eyesight was shredding a lustful aura, an evil smirk on his lips, did he just called you Miss Lee?, “Uh, well, yes he is trying to uh- make soup.” “Interesting, how many years you two been married? 3 or 4? Not counting your so very boring 4 years dating, he should know you don’t like onion, well what a pity right? You should go, my schedule is not here and is 15 minutes past 6” a soft look give to your skirt and before you could get out of the office Johnny said “One more thing Y/N, next time you need to take care of yourself go to the third bathroom in the 2nd floor, at least there I wouldn’t be able to listen you.”

If this were a normal day, a day when you didn’t bump into your boss fucking a woman inside his office when you swear there wasn’t anyone else there, if you didn’t found the scene a turn on and had to release the hot sensation in a bathroom stall, if it was just your normal Monday you could swear you didn’t have to feel the need to run to your house in that moment.

The day went as usual, Johnny asking you to take care of some appointments, to bring him that paper he threw away two months ago, to pick up some gifts from some rising designer or something, the only slightly difference was when at 8 pm when your shift ended he asked “My house is under some remodeling thing, I need you to come with me and help me with this papers, let’s go I already called Taeyong, he is on a business trip in Japan right? So you don’t have a problem named Taeyong.”

To tell you the truth when both of you were college students, there was this one time thing you always expected to happen, like there had always been a sexual tension between you, not that noticeable for others but you two knew it was there, when your relationship with Taeyong started, Johnny got into lots of one time things with different people, from that girl in US to your BFF Ten but somehow he never got into a relationship with anyone, you married Taeyong after he started a restaurant and you, well you started working with Johnny as his assistant, always with him somehow.

To be fair neither of you ignore the still present tension between you, it never disappear and probably will never, but Johnny and Taeyong were BFF along with Yuta the three of them were THE friends.

But people can change, people can get tired of never get into anywhere with someone, people gets tired of jerking themselves at the thought of their friends wife, people gets tired of fucking a girl whose resemble said friends wife, because people gets tired of pretending and restrain themselves, Johnny was one of those people, he got tired of all of that, because why he never told you his intentions? Why he was friend with Taeyong even after said friend married the girl he wanted for himself?

A very simple answer every time he asked this himself: “Everything tastes better when you steal it”, Johnny a 25 years old boy from Chicago, a boy who went to Korea to make a dream come true, a boy who met the most unique and the only girl he ever felt attracted to while trying to reach that dream, that boy didn’t wanted to take the only thing that made his bff happy away from him, but he didn’t want to let said girl go either, friends can be assholes sometimes, that’s a thing Yuta said to him when Taeyong said he wanted to meet you, friends can really be mean, Ten said to him when Taeyong asked him to be his right man in his wedding, I love Taeyong so much but he is making me unhappy, that’s what you told him on December 22 at the company’s Christmas dinner, in the middle of your drunk night, when everyone was already gone, the night when Taeyong told you he couldn’t be home on Christmas because he “Had a business trip” so he’ll be home on your wedding anniversary, I’m gonna steal her then, that’s what he said to him when he found Taeyong getting into a hotel three days before when he supposedly was on a business trip, kissing a girl who wasn’t even beautiful, because when he was there fucking that girl in an elevator on his way to a suit, you sent him a message telling him Taeyong wasn’t home again for dinner.

Friends are assholes, friends are mean, and Johnny was one of those friends but he didn’t give a fuck now.

A big luxurious hotel was the temporary home for Johnny, you’ve been there once, in your honeymoon, Taeyong wasn’t that rich when you two got married, right then he just started an small restaurant, but now 4 years later he was always on business trips, searching for new investors for his more than 4 restaurants with lots of high class cuisine dishes, at least that was what he always told you, every single week, you really was a fool, you knew that wasn’t even near to be true, but you were desperate, you believe in him, believe in love, after all that’s what you always saw in Taeyong, love.

“Why is Taeyong always traveling? Is really that complicated to create new dishes? -Johnny stated while walking to the elevator- I mean, if I were your husband I’m sure I want to be with you, I mean he has Yuta and that Doyoung guy helping him, he is such an idiot” Right then when the doors where near to be closed a hand got between the elevator doors, a sexy pretty lady got into the elevator, wearing oh so expensive and luxurious clothes “Oppa, Thank you for this clothes” right after her a man, with bright red hair, a precious smile, sweet voice and who’s name was none other than Lee Taeyong got into the elevator, crossing sight with you, looking to Johnny, as if a secret that wasn’t supposed to be said was revealed “Uh? I forgot my purse in the bar Oppa” not knowing what to do more than get out of there quickly, Taeyong took the sexy young lady’s hand and dragged her back to the bar, because yes friends can be assholes, friends can be mean, and Johnny was one of those friends.

“Uh? Well, uh, you know what Y/N we can-” Johnny started talking when both of you arrived to the penthouse he was staying at, just to be cut in the middle by your laugh “ He really is that son of a bitch isn’t he -you said in the middle of laughter- I mean, he bought her the purse and the jewels I wanted, he is so stupid and such a… What’s the word Johnny? I can’t even find a word to describe him, you know, three weeks ago a lawyer called asking for him, he said he got the divorce papers ready for him, wow, that girl must be fucking him better than me then, but to be fair no one fucks him better than me, right?” You said looking at him, as if waiting for confirmation, “Answer me Johnny, this is a matter of life or death” “But, Uh… I mean, how can I know how you…” The look in your eyes gave him the message, the sign, the answer he has been waiting for 6 years or even more, a look that in the time when you didn’t know about Taeyong’s affair, when you wanted to have an affair with him but somehow both of you knew that couldn’t happen, that sign was now there, asking him to fuck you, there wasn’t even a bit of hate towards Taeyong, all he could see was a you asking him for him to fuck you against a desk, to make you ask for air and for him to thrust into you harder and faster every passing second.

Words weren’t even needed in that moment, locking you between him and the closest table, long arms sneaking around your waist, caressing your hips, his hips giving small touches to your owns, you never notice when or how you got on to the table, his lips along your neck, biting it, your hands searching for his pants zipper, when a big strong hand stop you, “Miss, I don’t like it when your beautiful hands are being so touchy -he whispered in to your neck- Keep them far from there” not the voice you were used to, not the voice pleading for you to touch him, a voice that gave you goosebumps for slightly touch him, a voice that demanded you to not mess with him when he didn’t ask for, two hands making their way between your legs, stopping before reaching your core, “ Wha-what?” “I don’t want to fuck you like this” he took you down of the table, just to turn you facing it and payed you on it, “Actually this is much better -he brushed his hips against your ass- this skirt has been bothering me the whole day-he said slapping your ass quickly and talking close to your nape- I know you can tell how many time I’ve been restraining myself, to not take you there in the office, everyday, I see you everyday wearing this -raising your skirt - this skirts, you know Y/N, I always hope to make love to you, but now, now I just -he said squishing your ass and pulling it closer to him lifting your hips a bit- I just want to fuck you harder than you have ever been fucked” “What are you waiting then?” You said in a whisper like voice, he didn’t need more, he was ready.

He lifted your skirt, placed one of your legs on the table, he brushed his fingers against your wet folds, over the thin fabric of your panties, long fingers brushing against your clit, slow and delicate touches, “I’ve been dreaming of this for a long time” his soft voice echoed in your head like a whisper, he took your panties aside, letting one finger into you, slow movements of one skilled finger, kisses on your neck, the bulge in his pants growing with every sigh you let out, the sound of a zipper and the feeling of the head of his dick touching you, “What do you want me to do kitten? Uh, tell me~” he said getting his fingers out, positioning himself between you, caressing your folds with the tip of his dick, “I want to hear you asking for this” his voice was demanding, “I want you” you said in a very thin voice, letting the tip of his dick enter you, “What exactly kitten? Tell me” he said slowly moving himself into you, a pure sensation of pleasure was filling you, “Ah-Johnny please ~ -you said half breathing- I want you, please, fuck me, now please~” you weren’t able to see him but the force he entered you could tell you he was smirking, he entered you harder than someone ever in your life, he stretch you enough for him to enter easily, he stop for two seconds for you to adjust, getting the sign for him to continue, he started moving, slow thrusts were the first thing he did, keeping your leg on the table, keeping them open enough for him to fit in between you, fastening his pace the sound of raw sex echoed in the big living, the groans he made, the hard breath you had, one of his hands going to your neck, lifting your upper body and bringing you closer to him, unbuttoning your blouse, giving kisses and biting your naked shoulders, his hand tightening around your neck, two long fingers entering your mouth, “Licked them kitty” he said, you did as asked, they were soft and thin, his veins were noticeable, his thrusts were harder and slower, the feeling was too overwhelming for you to breath, his fingers making it more difficult for you.

A sudden emptiness took you back from your closer climax, the loss of the floor and sudden red silk sheets embracing your senses, your legs being wrapped around the hips and slightly over the bed, your emptiness nowhere to be felt anymore, moans and sighs leaving your body, “Look at you kitten -Johnny purred- this lips of yours are asking for air, this eyes are watering, such an image I’ve been dreaming of for years” the position made his thrusts go deeper, lustful sounds were the only thing anyone going out the penthouse could hear, your moans were loud, his thrusts were over the level, your climax was there again, closer to you, “Not yet kitten not yet” the emptiness was there again, the big frame of Johnny disappearing suddenly from your view, and just in time his tongue replacing his dick, looking you through his lashes, your hands holding the sheets and your knuckles turning white, “Ah~ Johnny” your voice sounded as a pleading, your hands wrapped in his hair, your legs closing around his head, his tongue twisting inside your folds, giving kitten like licks to your clit, moan S louder than earlier and after a good half hour the familiar wave of extasis hitting your body, as if descending from heaven, you didn’t realize when you finished your ride, but an smiling giant angel, his hands wiping the sweat off of your forehead, “You deserve better than Taeyong you know right?” he said, “I’m happy it’s me the one that’s better”.

Red Silk petals, that was how you can describe the sexual tension that existed between you and Johnny, red silk petals that Taeyong never gave you, Red Silk petals, the name of a future and unknown color.

Outside the penthouse number 1 a red haired man, a man whose name was none other than Lee Taeyong, not knowing that in his house the divorce papers were waiting for him already signed.

[babblingbat]

Various Characters I meant to post Months ago

Various Characters of mine

I have so many I want to write (some) of them down! This is a suuuuuper long post so more under the cut! Includes a spy, a crime lord/activist, and a bargaining warlock (I have to reblog this later bc tumblr threw a hissy fit about the length)

X

- Kinda in a Bond-esque spy agency, but more of a contractor

- When everything goes to shit, you can count on them to fix it

- Nonbinary protege of whoever is in charge of the tech division (Mezza? Sloane? Dixon? idk, but they have a hell of a shady past and there’s like… noooothing that can keep Sloane out of computer systems)

- X isn’t formally recognized by APO (authorized personnel only, the spy agency) but they do have access to all information because of a backdoor Sloane made

- So I guess the name is Sloane

- Anyways, X goes on the black ops of black ops, typically with either mercenaries or no back-up at all

- Thus trust issues and like the opposite of dependency - they have so much trouble asking for things but are willing to help anyone or offer material assistance - if they have it

- X is nonbinary and really doesn’t have any preferences on pronouns, as long as they aren’t he/him or she/her

- They’re also autistic and shut down if there’s too much loud noise or if they’re just too tired for some reason - sometimes this means going nonverbal or just Not Functioning and their favorite way to feel better is to sit on the ground, wrap themselves in a blanket and listen to music - so in conclusion they don’t really use guns unless there’s a silencer, and they aren’t v good with them

- A huge part of their espionage function is language!

- They speak German, Spanish, Japanese, FSL, and ASL all idiomatically

- They also speak Russian, French, and Afrikaans, but not fluently

- They can swear and count to ten in Korean and Czech

- They’re pursuing a PhD in computational linguistics, though APO gets in the way

- They’re 24, and have a bizarre set of skills because both of their job, previous jobs and jobs they hold as a cover to pretend they pay their taxes, and special interests

- Sloane is only 7 years older than them, and recruited X out of high school

- At first it was small things, like ‘pick up this book from Elm Street and drop it at Main’ but it got bigger after they graduated

- When X turned 18, they went through formal training - protocol, combat, and analysis

- They’d done some martial arts before hand, but not much punching, mostly kicking, throws, and staffs (5 and 6 feet)

- X’s main job is to clean up messy situations, usually by stealing things or extractions, and their own ops are less combat oriented than the clean ones

- X is not the best at math, not by a long shot, but they can see patterns from a mile away

- “I am the fact guardian, guardian of the facts!” “Puzzles quiver before them!” “FUCK OFF”

- They do simple division when bored and solve a lot of math things by finding patterns and using them

- X is both their designation in the agency (as in ‘x factor’) and their actual name- they use an alias for college

- They live with a few people, most of whom complain at their erratic sleep schedule and ask that please, for the love of god, X gets sleep meds and just a solid 8 hours, for once

- Sloane eventually sends X on an op to extract Mel, Sloane’s girlfriend and top operative

- X doesn’t know what to tell Mel, so mostly they just tell them that things will be answered later

- Mel asks Sloane, who reluctantly explains X’s role, and this sets some things into motion of X eventually being brought into the spotlight

- They have several hearings about their activities

- Eventually, Seville (who runs things? I guess) tells them to carry on as they do, reporting directly to Sloane, but they are recognized now by the APO

- There are three other things I want to fit in:

- Goes missing for [period of time], leaving a very close friend behind, comes back after being presumed dead and no memories, apparently solved a conspiracy and now has many illegal friends who all enjoy thievery

- Magic is a thing (because it wouldn’t be my words if it wasn’t lmao) and common enough that people know it exists but rare enough that it’s kinda intimidating and sometimes people will freak out about it, despite plenty of people having it.

X has/develops magic at some point but is terrified to tell anyone and tries to hide it from their team (which is now their family, love that trope) because they don’t want to be barred from the APO, but it comes out accidentally during a mission

- X’s infodumping saves the day somehow

The Celestian

- K so this is more about an organization, but the Celestian lives in a like a 1920s fantasy setting and likes dancing

- They run a social activism group masquerading as a crime network that uses queer bars and stuff as fronts

- To get money, they dance competitively with their bodyguard and d8m8, the BFF (butch femme fatale) who identifies as a nb lesbian

- To get into any of the places where actual political dismantling and activism happens, who have to have very specific patterns on your nails - nail painting is a method of communication and is also a huge teambuilding exercise

- There are different codes for everything

- When cops try and get in (they can only find the places if they have a member of the Queer Folk), the code is “blue denim” and then the person caught tells the police they need nail polish and then laugh as they get caught, as if they were bullshitting the whole thing

- Other things are called “10:50 am” which looks like a sleepy eye

- Or “songbird rhapsody” which is also a popular song that the Celestian sings at clubs

- Or “money” which is just a green splotch on all the nails

- If you’re a member of the Queer Folk, you get a crate monthly of money and nail polish, and special things on birthdays and holidays

- The Queer Folk do everything from organize protests to take kids in and try to pay for their education through crime - as in robbery from different places

- Their crimes always have a certain flair to them - they value creativity and snazziness

- The Celestian is like 5’ 3” (which, to be fair, is 3 inches taller than I am) and the BFF picks them up a lot

- They don’t like alcohol or caffeine but drink herbal tea 24/7

- If they don’t, something is very, very wrong

- They have a prosthetic leg

Red

- Literally in high school

- A warlock! They traded their gender and all “gender identifying features” to a trans demon for magic powers

- The demon mostly asks them to get coffee and stuff because the demon isn’t very good at bargaining and just wanted Red’s gender, but it’s expected of a patron to keep using the warlock for things

- (on the demon phone) “hey so this is super duper important and if you could get it in the next half hour that’s the best thing”

“what is it”

“alright so go to the corner of Lincoln and Greenleaf, turn three times to your right, once to your left, and a door should open behind you. Don’t try to turn towards it, just fall backwards”

“if I fall onto poison ivy or concrete I’m breaking my fucking contract”

“No, no no no, you’ll appear in that good good heaven spot”

“… the coffee shop?”

- Red focuses on science in their school

- Every interaction is a deal. E V E R Y I N T E R A C T I O N

- Breakfast? “I’ll give you the salt if you hand over the pancakes”

- Entering a building? “Hold the door open and I’ll give you praise”

- School? “You want me to tell you what I do in my spare time? Give me an A on my midterm and I’ll tell you”

- The last one has left a lot of teachers confused and more than a little scared of the silly little nerd in their class

- Honestly, they have straight A’s because they make deal after deal about grades. They never cheat on tests, but they make deals, hold people to them, and know what they’re doing

- Red’s demon is getting a little worried with all the deals

- Red is most accustomed to deals rather than anything else because they think that unequal exchange (i.e., gifts) is really suspect

- That said, Red has no problems altering “equal” exchange to benefit them

- If they ever became a business owner, they would be terrifying

- They want everything to turn out the best it can for every one but… are not fans of laws

- They have many Opinions on law, its enforcement, and the government

- That cousin that will tell you constantly about how the government is corrupt and should be rebooted with the youngest people as the primary interest

- Anarchy? Not quite, but revolution? Most definitely

- No angst, just high school silliness and chaos

- Has no idea what’s going on 90% of the time - a kid on a sportsball team did something amazing, people started treating him like shit for adults liking him, and Red had no idea until like 3 months later

- Red just kinda lives in their head

- Did they hear what you just said? Nah, but they sure did hear that wristwatch every time it clicked on the second.

- Likes the sound of adventure, but mostly gets lost in Ikea and makes deals with the eldritch monsters in the mattress section

- SUCH A SHITTY SENSE OF DIRECTION, COULD GET LOST IN A GRID WITH MAPS AT EVERY INTERSECTION

- Charismatic, but mostly in the sense of lying their ass off and persuading people

- Once tried to go a day without making a deal (on a dare), ended by making a deal to not have to ever do that again

- Businesses both hate and love them - they pay for nothing but will bargain away odd things of equivalent value every time and catch shoplifters, dislikes shoplifters because it’s not a fair trade

- Bizarrely good luck with finding things in pockets, particularly to “pay” for things

[livelikebrent]

Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift...

The answer is: Yes, the title of this post is more or less a Kodak Black lyric. It was made into a very pretty, visually pleasing inspirational quote image I saw on social media, I took note of it for later use and here I am realizing it wasn’t made up by some super unique female author. But nevertheless, it’s true. So this blog post isn’t about a recent trip. But rather the holiday season and Brent not being here for it. It’s something I want to write about.

Some of you are reading this because you knew Brent, you snowboarded together or you grew up together. Some of you reading have never met Brent but heard about what a great guy he was...and I couldn’t be happier that he had an impact on you. While he didn’t know everybody, he sure knew a good chunk of the population. I couldn't tell you the last time he introduced me to someone, meaning only one person and that's where it ended. It was never, "Hey Ais, meet TJ." No, no. It was, "Hey Ais, meet TJ... OH and his wife Leslie. Oh and there are our friends Brandin and his wife Jaque, who is Buck and Tank's vet and then this is Maura who is engaged to Tom and is BFF with Caitlin. Not Tom though, Maura is BFFs with Caitlin and Tom is BFF with Josh. You met Josh when we went to dinner with him and Hannah...” AND IT WOULD GO ON. That’s not exactly how I met those individuals but just roll with the example. I've probably met the amount of people I was originally supposed to meet in my entire lifetime in the first year of dating Brent. It’s incredible. But, I digress. Here we are today regardless if I've been introduced to you (yet) or not. Sometimes, Brent would have friends in the same room as mine and there would be overlap without us even realizing it. Brent was all about bringing people together in one way or another. I think we can all agree that he was good at that.

This December I decided to bring together the Philly/Wilkes-Barre-ish crew to start a new tradition: Friendsmas. This year has been a roller coaster and wanted us all together during the holiday season. Out of the 15 people in this photo below (baby Fiona is running around and Josh doesn’t know how to handle the selfie stick) Brent introduced me to 12. That’s one dozen people that I wouldn’t have in my life right now if it wasn’t for Brent. That’s just the tip of the iceberg too. (Mind you there are some people missing from this photo that still play a vital role in my life today.) I’m extremely grateful for this bunch that I’ve become friends with and want me in their lives even after Brent being gone. We tried to get a group picture. But taking photos that night was not our strong suit and the kitchen may have filled with smoke due to the burning butter in Adam’s (delish) popovers...but the company and spread was pretty close to perfection. I hope this group of wonderful people grows and the tradition continues...because I think we need that. 

I think it’s very easy to harp on the loss and what we no longer have during a time like this. During a time of year like this. It’s inevitable to be quite honest. But I think sometimes we need to remind ourselves with what we do have and cherish it regardless. That is what I’ve been trying to do and how I’ve been trying to handle myself the last 5 months. But recently, I found myself lying in bed one evening trying to go to sleep but couldn’t stop thinking about Brent. As the tears welled up and I started to cry my phone rang instantly. It was Fletcher, a Carve 4 Cancer member and friend, calling me from his hotel room in Montreal to chat about Carve. Coincidence? Probably. But I like to think not. I think we’ve all shared plenty of tears and there are certainly more to come...but again, take the time to look around and think about what we have and what Brent did for us. Brent brought Fletcher into my life. Fletcher, a blood cancer survivor, joined the Carve 4 Cancer team almost two years ago. When Brent was re-diagnosed, Fletcher would call me, text me, he’d let me know him and his wife (who had been HIS caretaker) were always there to talk. But that night Fletcher called and we chatted for almost two hours about the non-profit and the future of it. He didn’t know I was upset and that his call was cheering me up or that I was in bed trying to fall asleep. But I was grateful for the conversation (even if most of it was pure business) at such an odd time.

Pictured below is another group of loved ones brought together. But this time, the tables have turned and I had introduced Brent to 20+ people all in one sitting. This is my Boston College Family. “But you didn’t go to B.C.” I know, I’m well aware. My father and brother did though! My Dad did it right. What I mean by that is he stayed friends with his (6? Am I missing anybody?) college buds that he lived with in Mod32A on campus. Then when they all graduated, went off and got married, they continued to stay friends, then when they had children, we all became friends...more like family, really. Years ago, we used to get together in the summers up in Scituate, Mass. for long weekends and playing with lobsters on the deck before cooking them, winters in New Jersey cutting down our Christmas trees together and random get togethers in between. But as we grew older and schedules became a bit more crazy we took a break from organized mass gatherings. But over the last several years, we started to get together again for tree cutting season and pumpkin picking for Oktobersfest! This crew grew from the B.C. boys, to married couples, to families and then to families with significant others and we now have our first official B.C. baby, my niece Madison Grace. It’s absolutely wonderful how much it has evolved over the years and how much of a riot we all have together. But two years ago, Brent was invited to the annual B.C. Tree Cutting Party in 2015. The weather was unseasonably warm that year and I was excited to introduce Brent to my extended family for the first time. It’s needless to say, he fully embraced them as they did him.

This specific B.C. gathering begins at my parent’s humble abode in New Jersey where everyone meets up in the early afternoon. Then we caravan to the tree farm, find our Christmas trees, chop those puppies down, stop in the barn on the farm to buy ornaments, beeswax candle sticks, grab some coco or coffee, take our annual group farm photo and eventually make our way back to the house. Then the day continues with endless food, drinks, games, white elephant gift exchange and catching up into the evening and early hours of the morning. Every bed, every room, and most of the floor space is filled with bodies and air mattresses. When morning rolls around, the food and coffee is once again never ending before everyone packs up and makes their way back home whether it’s to Orlando, Ocean City or Philadelphia. Sadly, that was the only mass Boston College gathering Brent was able to attend. BUT he did see this B.C. crew for random and smaller gatherings here and there. He absolutely loved it.

When the B.C. family heard the news this past July, everyone felt an immense loss. How could you not? It was Brent. Mind you, some of these people only met Brent once and traveled all of the way from Scituate to attend his funeral. Now that’s a love that makes me cry just thinking about it. I received cards, phone calls, text messages, packages, and more from the Boston College family expressing their sympathy, love and support. We truly are a family which Brent was very much a part of. My loss was their loss.

This year, our Tree Cutting Party was exciting and intense in more ways than one. it was my niece's very first tree cutting in general and the weather was so perfect. We’ve had bitter cold weather for this December gathering, we’ve had beautiful warm weather, we’ve had dreary December days but this year we had a perfect snowfall. I had thought this was already the best B.C. party so far soley because we finally cut Christmas trees down in the snow. But it got better.

When we got back to my parent’s house, the Irish whiskey was flowing, bottles were being popped, appetizers were consumed and then my brother, Chris (in most of the photos above), had the room silent. He stood in our living room with all eyes on him and myself sitting on the floor with one of my “cousins.” He said that the entire group wanted me to know they knew this year would be hard and wouldn’t be the same without Brent...but that he was present. He went on and told me they love me and they also wanted me to look around at the party and see Brent everywhere. Then simultaneously all twenty-eight of them took off their sweaters and button downs to reveal they were all wearing our Carve 4 Cancer #LiveLikeBrent shirts and had one waiting for me as well. (I actually thought about packing mine for the weekend but for some reason didn’t!) I don’t even know what I said in response to my brother and everyone in that room except, “Thank you” as I tried to hold back my tears, stood up and hugged Chris. I wasn’t sad or upset but honestly touched by the support and love from this group of people. One of the couples that live down in Orlando felt terrible they were unable travel up for Brent’s arrangements over the summer and felt compelled to do something. So they planned this thoughtful and unexpected surprise. Thank you.

“I’ve learned a lot this year. I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.” – Jennifer Weiner, Author

Everyone in their lifetime will lose somebody they love. I'm obviously not speaking on a break-up or a falling out with a friend. I'm talking about when the time comes for that somebody “to meet their maker”...as Brent would often refer to it. You will lose somebody, attend that wake, attend that funeral and if you're lucky...that's the extent in what you have to do with the loss. Emotionally you still need to deal with it - but not physically. You don't have to worry about stopping utility bills, car payments, cleaning out an entire home from top to bottom and this list goes on. But unfortunately, I'm sure some of you know that process a little too well. However, what are some of the positives after losing this person? It’s very difficult and almost impossible to even see at first. But what are you left with? When life deals you a shitty hand in cards how do you play them? As Brent's girlfriend I realized I was left with something. I'm not talking about the sweatshirt that he wore in the hospital that I slept in for a week straight after he passed. I'm also not talking about being left with his snowboards or the countless memories we had together either. I'm talking about you. I'm talking about his friends - he would always correct me...“Our friends, Aisling. They’re not just MY friends anymore.” - I'm talking about OUR friends, Brent’s drinking buddies, peers, new acquaintances...I'm talking about this community I’ve found myself in. Just stop and think about it. I have been left with this community of rad, insanely kind and special people that have also rallied around what started as a measly grass roots fundraiser almost 5 years ago!  But...it was Brent's little fundraiser. It was his fundraiser to help others in the blood cancer community. I was left with this (growing) team of people. I wasn't the only one left with a community or non-profit that was built together with Brent. Everyone reading this post was left with this too.

These friends, this Carve 4 Cancer community, has evolved from a fundraiser with a couple of raffle baskets into an official, full fledged non-profit recognized by the IRS into now with a foundation. It all comes full circle. Brent was originally raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to help others. He then decided he didn't want the money he raised to be managed by a huge organization. He, in true Brent fashion, wanted to take matters into his own hands and create the impact himself. Over the last 4 years we, Carve 4 Cancer, have donated over $30,000 to blood cancer research. Here we are in December of 2017 where we’ve announced a brand new foundation raising money to give a grants local cancer patients...the Live Like Brent Foundation. We have created a damn foundation, you guys! In just over one week, we receive the applications sent in from patients, get to know these individuals and help them financially. I'm sorry, but how amazing is that?! This is what Brent wanted and we’re going to make it happen. Also, I don’t think we’ve made this public but in 2018 we have a goal of raising $100,000. And we will make it happen. Mic drop.

To put it lightly, losing Brent has taken a toll on myself and the Carve team, the Evans, friends on the east coast, friends on the west coast and everywhere in between. But do you know what keeps myself and the team going at the end of the day? This Carve 4 Cancer community. Brent left us with the opportunity to continue his legacy, continue to pay it forward and have a really stellar time while doing so. How many people have something like that after they lose someone they love? How many people can say they have a community that wants to make a difference because of that loved one that we lost? I'm not going to sit here and tell you we are going to work until this disease is gone. I'm just simply not. But I will tell you we will work together and dedicate our time and talent to making a better today for cancer patients and those effected by this disease. I will fully immerse myself into planning a kickass gala with some of my team members to fund this foundation, carry Brent’s legacy, continue to raise these funds and help those in need together. 

Nevertheless, the purpose of this post is not by any means to solicit donations or ask you for financial support for Carve. I’ve been trying to handle myself and this situation the best I can and what I’ve found is that I’m thankful for the people Brent has surrounded me with. I hope some of you can relate and it helps you during this time of year as well. While you can't pick-up your phone and ask Brent to ditch his plans to hit the slope this winter season or go grab a beer...you can still do something for him. I decided at his wake to travel for him and finish that bucket list we had created together. You can go hit up the slopes twice as many times for him this winter. You can grab Carve 4 Cancer and hold onto it and get involved to whatever degree you’d like. You can sit at your dinner table on Christmas day and be thankful for the people that came into your life. Maybe Brent influenced that...maybe he’s the reason you’re with your loved one. (He always bragged about being a semi-successful matchmaker!) Brent wanted nothing more than to create an impact. I will tell you to let yourself feel his absence this winter season, I certainly will, but please, do good with it. Life definitely isn’t tied with a bow...but take a moment and think about what gift he left us with.

[ashilrak]

lololol i want 2 read this ~call out~ post now

fucekning - it’s 1am in the morning and i’ve been awake since 5:30 am but why the fuck not, let’s do this. I’ll probably forget Someone so don’t be surprised if i edit this and add more - especially since there are people I regularly talk to but forget their tumblr URLs since I mostly talk with them over other platforms. 

@theinevitablesense is a wonderful and talented human being and a blessing in my life. Parker is so intelligent and so great to talk to. We’re writing a fic together which is a #blessing, and honestly I couldn’t be happier about it. We became friends because Parker messaged me one day like ‘i love ur fic!!!’ and while our first few convos were awkward we are at a Really Great Place rn

@lol-phan-af is my Sunshine. Bella is the person who got me to start writing for hamilton, and as such I’m forever grateful to her for a multitude of reasons. We became friends because I literally kept pestering her on tumblr until she agreed to write a fic with me because i’m that kind of annoying. 

@iwritelikeimrunningoutoftime is the one who started it All. Irene is the miracle person who first messaged me about 177(6) RP, and honestly it is because of her that I know anyone that I do now. She’s a brilliant, beautiful, and gifted blessing in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without her.

@emmiimmeme stepped into my life as the jemmy RPer, and honestly i love her. Someone who has been around for about a year now. We talk about Seth Numrich and Ian Khan a lot. She seems to think I ghostwrote the moreos guy posts

@shipsdreamsandmakebelieve was the John RPer. She messaged me on tumblr a little after she started commenting on 177(6). At one point she decided to say fuck it and gave me her snapchat so I could experience chris jackson singing on the forth of july, and afterward I persuaded her to join the RP. we still talk now, it’s a great existence. I have a mom t-shirt and mom sticker from her. It’s a Fantastic time.

@thalia-the-guitar was the Dori RPer. It took us longer to hit it off, in all honesty. We got closer because of talking about writing. I like to think I was kind of a wall to bounce ideas off of for the train fic she wrote with rowan, but that’s probably inflating my importance in that process. She’s someone who I talk to more via text and snapchat than fandom platforms tbh.

@bewitchinghowell was the lizzie RPer. HOnestly an all around gift, a joy and light in my life. The one who made us make the groupchat, and literally where would we be without that gropuchat. 

@ceracero was the Philip RPer. they’re literally so pure and so wonderful and i love them so much and they send me cards and i treasure them in a drawer next to my bed to read when i’m sad and i just,, they’re so good 

@hamilshot was the Burr RPer. Honestly one of the most brilliant, most motivated, and strongest people I know. Real life goals, tbh. They’re the type of person I will gladly admit I look up to. I literally wrote an essay about them and started to cry while interviewing them because they’re just that Great. ONe of those people that once they set their mind on something, it will take the entire universe and Then some to prevent it from happening. 

@rhfe was the dolley RPer, joining us a little later on in the game. Honestly, he’s made my life so much better. A source of joy that also took me longer to get close to. I didn’t realize that was his URL until like yesterday so that’s how attentive I am. 

@little–feather was the maria RPer. I’ve actually met her, and hoenstly, it was a Great time. We got ice cream and were super cute and it’s one of those cases where over the past year I’ve really gotten to seem them grow and honestly? a Blessing in my life

@night-lester mads is fantastic?? someone i’m still not as close as I want to be to but literally every interaction I’ve had with them has improved my life in some way and everyone loves them so much and that is such a good because they spread love and positivity in a way i don’t think they even do on purpose and they’re just a Good. originally the seabury RPer

@clarind-uh was the George-io RPer. Honestly, just,,, incredible. Another person that took me longer to get close to, but I’m so glad I did. We initially communicated via heart emojis, which was a good thing that i’m very happy happened. 

@the-real-m-vp was the martha RPer (obvi). Sam is literally one of the nicest and most beautiful people i’ve ever seen in my entire life??? like??? so nice and kinda and positive and perfect and sweet and literally Everything

@alexangery is someone I met through rowan - someone who RPed lance - and we ended up writing kinkcember together. We kinda drifted after a bit since the health chat got busy and what not, but we keep ending up back together and it’s a MIracle because honestly?? alex is one of the best parts of this fandom and where would we be without him is the real quesiton

@roseclipping is so sweet, and someone I kinda watched from a distance for a little bit because I knew she was a really talented writer from the gift exchanges. We kinda had a word here or there, mostly communicating via drabble prompts in all honesty. We became closer because I ended up answering some questions for a college au of hers haha and now we’re in a writing chat!!

@thellamaduo is someone that I started talking to because we were thinking about doing a big bang of sorts. It never happened and probably will Never happened. Rainah is literally someone who I know Knows her shit. Like, if I were to ever doubt a characterization I could go to her and be like “HELP ME” and she’d be able to with reasoning and explanations to back of her words. She’s so smart and knowledgable and literally everything she writes is ironclad and I’d trust it with my Life. And she’s just really great to talk to in general? I consider her to be a good friend and i’m so happy I can because honestly Where would I be without her. I’m slowly progressing, but everytime I do take that brief second back to think about a writing decisions, it’s with her in mind “what would rainah do”

@franciskinloch is a recent friend but a Good one. Their very attractive face is a blessing in my life and something i can look forward to and i know that if i ever have lams feels they’re feeling it times a gazillion and also the first person who i saw recognize just how attractive cravats and knee-breeches are and i’m never letting that go. Ever.

@ham-for-ham is also a recent friend, but one i’m glad to have. we were thrown together in a group chat and then we talked about turn and it was a Good decision

@hambrr amber is also more recent and is in the same writing chat/network as alex and sarah and is Good. honestly, if you have any appreciation for hamburr as a ship, i’d recommend checking them out. They’re vv supportive and vv good.

@procrastinatingbookworm is also a new friend and one i’ve yet to get to know very well but as we’re in a writing chat together i imagine we will grow closer in their future. very sweet

@speedilyunabashedhologram is someone who was just kinda tossed into a big chat with the RPers and Friends because why NOt and she’s become a constant presence and honestly it wouldn’t be the same without her

@weehawken-dawngunsdrawn is also someoe who was just kinda tossed into the big chat with RPers and friends and hoenstly super sweet and super nice and super thoughtful and also from ohio which means i might get to see her in real life which is superr !!! because honestly !! best things

@exadorlion i assumed i already put them on here but honestly mari is a fantastic person and someone i can trust to have something interesting to say and they make my life Better which is more than I can ask from anyone and they’re just important to me okay. where would i be had they not pestered me about the fic i probably wouldn’t have ever written otherwise

@fortheloveofhegame marah, my real life friend. we go way back. i don’t know what else to say for her except that she was introduced to the RP chat as daddykinkfriend around a year ago and that’s defined her online presence partially ever since,. i love her. she’s a Good and my bff

[iamjustcara]

Thank you

To every one who wished me a happy birthday Wednesday. And thanks also to anyone who didn't because if you're still reading this Tumblr after 8 years of shitty blogging you must either (1) really like me or (2) not have much else going on. Either way, I appreciate that Bomb Diggity still lets me play with my Tumblr friends. For my birthday I gave up a tongue piercing. I'm down to just two now and I can't see me going through the hassle of getting the 3rd hole repierced. But I got my very first tongue piercing the day before I turned 21, so TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. And I still have that one. In fact, the 3rd piercing itself was 19 years old when I gave it up. That's longer than I've been an accountant. That's longer than I've known my BFF or my exhusband. It's basically a long fucking time. I think I definitely did the right thing choosing my tongue piercings over my 1st post-college job. Clearly the tongue piercings mean more to me than jobby job stuff. I am proud of myself for that. I think I've proven how serious I am about piercings. It's funny but I'm so worried kids will judge me as a poseur and yet my piercings are older than the fucking kids. What do I care? I don't actually care, but I was raised to reflexively care so I have this cognitive dissonance that never goes away. Also for my birthday the payroll manager of my company baked me a rainbow layer cake. Just for me. On a Tuesday night she made me a cake. And that made me realize that despite my long running desire to quit this damn job (just 46 days to go til I'll have been there a year and the agency can place me somewhere else). Despite how much I hate about my job I am a part of it and it is a part of me. I play an important role in that office and the people there still like me ok. I won't stop counting the days, but I will start appreciating the good parts of every day. My co-worker (the accountant that works for me) got me a giant box of jelly bellies. Over a pound of candy. That girl gets me. I love love love sugary candy best and it was a trip walking around the office offering jelly bellies to everyone. The cash accountant who sits across from me gave me a t-shirt with the full text of The Great Gatsby on it. It's a shirt that Tumblr showed me years ago and that I told her about when we learned we have the same favorite novel and that she bought for me. So Tumblr is the investment that continues paying off. Tumblr helped me make a BIFWD that makes heartfelt posts about me, it helped me meet Claudia the sweetest Texan who sent me a gift off my wishlist that we had great fun using when my family celebrated with me, and if we're being honest Tumblr proved to me beyond a doubt that it's absolutely possible to be a good, interesting, cool person no matter what age. I have no intention of changing just because I get older and I have no intention of ever leaving Tumblr. I love you guys. Every. Single. One of you.

[harryandmeghan0-blog]

A look inside Meghan Markle's star-studded NYC baby shower - KGUN

New Post has been published on https://harryandmeghan.xyz/a-look-inside-meghan-markles-star-studded-nyc-baby-shower-kgun/

A look inside Meghan Markle's star-studded NYC baby shower - KGUN

Meghan Markle made a very important solo trip last month: She was back on U.S. soil without Prince Harry to celebrate their imminent addition to the royal family.

The location was New York City, where several of Markle’s closest friends joined her for a special baby shower on Feb. 20. Celebrities such as Serena Williams, Abigail Spencer, Amal Clooney and Gayle King attended the party.

Here’s what we know so far about the star-studded event in honor of the glowing mom-to-be:

Meghan Arrives In NYC The Duchess of Sussex arrived in New York City in style, dressed in a William Vintage Courrèges Haute Couture black trapeze coat and dark sunglasses. She was snapped — with a protective hand on her growing baby bump — outside her hotel on Feb. 19 with her friend and fellow “Suits” star Abigail Spencer, who wore a long red patterned dress and a black blazer. The baby shower wasn’t until the following day, giving the duchess time to relax and spend some time in the city.

Designer Arm-Candy The Duchess of Sussex accessorized her look with a classic tote by Carolina Herrera. Markle is a long-time fan of the Venezuelan fashion designer, who has dressed various First Ladies in her time, including Jacqueline Onassis, Laura Bush and Michelle Obama. Markle wore a pink off-shoulder Carolina Herrera dress for her first appearance at Trooping the Colour, the Queen’s annual birthday parade, in June 2018. The following month, she wore a navy fit-and-flare Carolina Herrera dress for a polo match in Windsor in aid of Prince Harry’s charity, Sentebele.

See this article with more photos! It first appeared at TheDailyClutch.com

A Chic Venue Markle’s home for her New York City stay was The Mark, the stylish Upper East Side hotel, in the heart of Manhattan. It’s a top choice for fashion editors during New York fashion week, and where many celebrities get glammed up for the Met Gala. The baby shower was held in the penthouse, according to reports . At 12,000-square-foot across two floors, it’s the largest hotel suite in the United States. It’s also the most expensive, costing $75,000 per night.

Lunch And Art After lunch, Markle and Spencer went to The Met Breuer to take in some contemporary art. There are no pictures of Markle inside the museum, proving that even a Duchess — in the age of smartphones, no less — can go incognito when she really wants to. The Met Breuer opened in March 2016 in the building formerly occupied by the Whitney Museum of American Art, which was designed by Marcel Breuer and completed in 1966. It features monographic and thematic artworks from the Met’s collection.

Dinner With Friends The evening before the baby shower, Markle went out to dinner with her close friends, including tennis champ Serena Williams and Markus Anderson, a consultant for Soho House, an elite members-only club with locations around the world.

Anderson met Markle in 2012 when he returned home to Toronto, where the future Duchess was living during the filming of “Suits.” Since then, they have been firm friends; Anderson was pictured by Markle’s side when she attended the 2017 Invictus Games. Markle once wrote of Anderson on her now-defunct Instagram account, “What would I do without you, my loving, supportive, and endlessly fun friend??”

Wrapped Up Warm Markle wore a navy Victoria Beckham coat and Hatch maternity jeans for her dinner date at Polo Bar, completing the look with velvet Tamara Mellon boots and a black Stella McCartney bag. On Christmas Day 2018, Markle wore head-to-toe Beckham: a calf-length navy dress, matching coat, knee-high boots and a statement handbag. Markle and Beckham have reportedly struck up a close friendship — Beckham and her husband David attended Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry in May 2018 — but the former Spice Girl wasn’t present at the baby shower.

Serena Williams Played Host According to Harper’s Bazaar, the “low-key” shower was hosted by Serena Williams and Genevieve Hillis , a friend of Markle’s from her college days. The hosts had a little professional help in the form of Jennifer Zabinski of JZ Events, who planned Williams’ 2017 wedding to Alexis Ohanian.

The duchess has been friends with tennis star Williams since 2010, when they met at the Super Bowl. Markle once wrote of Williams on her former lifestyle website, The Tig , “She quickly became a confidante I would text when I was traveling, the friend I would rally around for her tennis matches, and the down-to-earth chick I was able to grab lunch with a couple of weeks ago in Toronto.”

Abigail Spencer Came Prepared Spencer was photographed arriving at The Mark on the day of the baby shower with a suitcase and a bulging bag — with gifts for the mom-to-be, perhaps? Spencer began her acting career playing Rebecca Tyree on the ABC daytime television soap opera “All My Children” and also starred in the Lifetime crime drama series “Angela’s Eyes” before getting the part of Dana “Scottie” Scott in “Suits,” where she struck up a friendship with her co-star Markle . Spencer even contributed to Markle’s now-discontinued lifestyle blog, The Tig.

Amal Clooney Joined The Party Amal Clooney, who attended Prince Harry and Markle’s 2018 wedding , was spotted at the baby shower in a red silk Sergio Hudson jumpsuit and Gianvito Rossi gold-and-PVC pumps. Clooney and Markle are said to have become close friends since last fall, with Clooney helping Markle settle into London life. Recently, Clooney’s husband, George, came to Markle’s defense , comparing the constant attention on Meghan to the circus that surrounded Prince Harry’s mother, Princess Diana.

Markle’s Makeup Artist Was There Makeup artist Daniel Martin has been friends with Markle since her “Suits” days, and his other A-list clients include Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Chrissy Teigen and Elisabeth Moss.

“I’m really lucky and blessed to work with these incredible women — it’s up to me to capture the essence of their personality,” he told Vogue .

Wedding Makeup Throwback Martin made headlines in 2018 when he was revealed as Markle’s makeup artist for her wedding to Prince Harry. The fresh, dewy, natural look he created for Markle on the day – which didn’t disguise her freckles — was a huge hit with audiences and beauty editors alike.

“Because we’ve known each other for so long and I knew exactly what she wanted, it was kind of a no-brainer,” he told Vogue . Martin occasionally treats fans to a sneak peek into life with his royal friend; last month, he shared a photo on Instagram of tea and avocado on toast that the duchess had prepared for him.

Misha Nonoo Attended Fashion designer and Markle’s close friend Misha Nonoo also attended the celebration. She is believed to be responsible for introducing Prince Harry to Markle in July 2016. (Nonoo used to be married to one of Harry’s best friends, the Old Etonian and co-founder of the art auction house Paddle 8, Alexander Gilkes.)

The designer arrived at Meghan’s baby shower carrying a gift bag from Rani Arabella, a luxury garment brand. The brand’s gift options include baby blankets in a choice of colors, retailing at $315 to $375.

Gayle King Brought Gifts TV anchor and Oprah bestie Gayle King has revealed some details of Markle’s baby shower, telling her “CBS This Morning” colleagues that Markle didn’t open her gifts that day . “She wants to do that when [Prince] Harry and her are back together, so I really don’t know what everybody got her,” she said. However, King didn’t spill the beans on her gift to the mom-to-be, saying, “I think I got her something very nice.” King was photographed outside The Mark carrying a colorful polka-dot gift bag.

BFF Jessica Mulroney Was A Guest Markle’s BFF, Canadian fashion stylist Jessica Mulroney, joined the duchess to celebrate the upcoming birth of her baby. Mulroney was named as Markle’s unofficial wedding planner after she flew to London in late April 2018 to help her friend finalize her plans. Mulroney’s daughter Ivy, 4, was a bridesmaid at the royal wedding, while her 7-year-old twin sons Brian and John were page boys. Aside from her royal connection, Mulroney is best known for dressing Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau, the wife of Canada’s prime minister.

Priyanka Chopra Was A No-Show Initial reports claimed Priyanka Chopra attended the shower, but sources have said that the newlywed actress couldn’t leave Los Angeles due to work commitments related to a book she’s writing. Chopra was a guest at Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding, but Markle wasn’t there when Chopra tied the knot with Nick Jonas in India in December 2018. Markle and Chopra have been friends for a couple years. They have a shared interest in humanitarian issues; Chopra is a UNICEF global goodwill ambassador, while Markle has worked with organizations like World Vision and One Young World.

Taryn Toomey Was There Markle has often spoken of her dedication to fitness, so it’s no surprise that wellness guru Taryn Toomey was on the baby shower guest list. Toomey, who counts Jennifer Aniston and Naomi Watts among her clients, is the founder of the Class, a fusion of cardio, yoga and kickboxing. Markle has credited pilates, yoga and running with keeping her fit, telling Women’s Health , “Running has always been my form of moving meditation, which I relish because it allows me to get out of my head.”

Gifts Galore It’s not known whether Markles registered for gifts for her baby shower, but she and Prince Harry certainly have plenty to open back in London. Large packages were spotted being loaded into vehicles outside The Mark following the celebration. A royal expert shed some light on the type of gifts Markle might have received , saying “Sometimes, they may be baby-related and other times, friends and guests give something to the mother-to-be, such as aromatherapy oil for a bit of pampering or cashmere socks for being in labor and just being comfy!”

Convertible Crib From Babyletto Among the items spotted outside Markle’s hotel was a box containing a crib from Babyletto. The three-in-one Hudson crib is a convertible crib/toddler bed/daybed, and according to the Babyletto website , it features “stylish rounded spindles and an open modern silhouette” and is “made with eco-friendly, non-toxic materials.” At the time of publication, the Hudson crib was still available to buy from Amazon , where it retails at $379. With all the interest around the royal mom-to-be, however, it might sell out soon.

DIY Flowers For Markle and Prince Harry’s wedding, the flower arrangements included sweet peas, lilies of the valley, astilbe, jasmine, astrantia and Princess Diana’s favorite, forget-me-nots. Flowers delivered for the baby shower were much more colorful, including yellow daffodils, bright purple blooms and Meghan’s personal favorite, pink peonies. King revealed that the guests were invited to try their hand at flower-arranging, saying on CBS This Morning , “They did flower decorations. They had flower arranging, they brought in somebody to explain how to arrange flowers.”

A Sleek Modern Venue Without photographs from the baby shower itself, Markle fans are left to imagine the celebration for themselves. Images of the interior of The Mark help set the scene. The lobby has a glossy monochrome floor and futuristic design features. Sources say the hosts chose this elegant hotel after considering several other venues in the area. Williams often dines at Jean-Georges, the hotel’s in-house restaurant, but she is not believed to have stayed at the hotel before. It’s also been reported that Williams picked up the bill for the whole thing.

Penthouse Vibes Sources say The duchess’s shower was held in The Mark’s two-floor penthouse suite, which features five bedrooms, six bathrooms and two powder rooms.

Room With A View The penthouse suite has amazing views over Central Park and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. However, the weather on the day of Markle’s baby shower may not have been suitable for al fresco relaxation. It was snowing!

Mom Doria Wasn’t There Doria Ragland missed her daughter’s shower, remaining in California, where she was photographed walking her dog and running errands. However, the grandparent-to-be may have plenty of time with Markle and her baby following the birth, as she is rumored to be moving to London to ensure Markle has her hands-on help with the new arrival. Markle and Ragland made a public appearance in September 2018 to promote Markle’s cookbook, “Together,” and cook coconut chicken curry, aubergine masala and chapatis together.

Where Was Kate Middleton? Kate was absent from the baby shower for her future niece or nephew, but she had a good reason; she and her family were on vacation. It’s Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s half-term break from school, and it’s believed that the Cambridges, including baby Prince Louis , are enjoying a ski trip away from the spotlight. It has been reported that Markle will have another baby shower in the U.K., which is expected to be more of a family affair, with her sister-in-law Kate and mother by her side.

Pregnant In The Public Eye Before her baby shower, the last time Markle was photographed in public was on Feb. 12, when she joined Prince Harry at the Natural History Museum in London for a gala performance of The Wider Earth in support of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust and the Her Majesty’s Commonwealth Canopy project. For this special occasion, Markle wore a glamorous all-white ensemble, including a high-neck Calvin Klein dress and an Amanda Wakeley coat, accessorized with an olive-green Ralph Lauren clutch and shoes. It’s likely that Markle will now begin to scale down her public appearances as she prepares for the arrival of her first child.

Prince Harry Couldn’t Make It Prince Harry didn’t attend the baby shower as he had an important royal engagement in London , He spent the day visiting school children at Streatham Youth Center in South London to support the StreetGames Fit and Fed initiative, which aims to provide healthy food and free physical activities to kids during school holidays. The following day, the Duke of Sussex visited the Royal Marines to present newly-qualified recruits with green berets when they finished their final commando test.

Countdown To The Royal Baby While the palace has only said that the baby is due in Spring of 2019, Markle apparently told some members of the public during a visit to Birkenhead in January that the baby’s due date is sometime around April . Emily Nash, a Hello! editor, tweeted the news, writing, “Meghan has told wellwishers in Birkenhead that she is six months pregnant — due end of April/beginning of May! Lots of baby chat today!”

It’s up to Markle how much maternity leave she takes, but like sister-in-law Kate, she will return to her royal duties only when she feels ready. Kate had two months of maternity leave after the birth of her first child, George, but took six months off following the arrival of Princess Charlotte and then a further seven months off when Prince Louis was born in April 2018.

Going Home To Prince Harry After the baby shower, Markle was photographed leaving The Mark in a far more casual outfit than her earlier ensembles. She was dressed for the journey home to the U.K. with comfort in mind, wearing Adidas sneakers, leggings, a zip-up top and a Rectify baseball cap, and carrying a giant tote bag. Markle is now back in London, no doubt preparing for her next royal engagement, a short trip to Morocco with Prince Harry, starting on Feb. 24.

We Know There Were Cookies After the baby shower, Markle’s friend Daniel Martin couldn’t resist sharing a picture of the sweet treats enjoyed by the guests: cookies in the shape of a baby rattle, a stork and a bib. Martin posted the image on his Instagram page with the simple caption, “Such an incredible day celebrating #babylove.”

The Baby Shower That Gave Back Markle’s star-studded baby shower wasn’t just about celebrating. A New York charity called Repeat Roses, which recycles flowers to reduce waste and raise awareness of social issues, received the flower arrangements created by Markle and her guests at the lesson led by local company Lewis Miller Design.

According to Gayle King, it was Markle herself who requested that the arrangements be donated to the charity, which passes flowers onto facilities like hospitals, hospices, nursing homes, cancer treatment centers and domestic abuse and homeless shelters.

“I thought that was a very sweet thing,” King said on CBS This Morning. “It just speaks to who [Markle] is. She’s kind, she’s very generous. And a really, really sweet person.” Here’s an example of Lewis Miller Design’s work:

Source: https://www.kgun9.com/lifestyle/a-look-inside-meghan-markles-star-studded-baby-shower-in-nyc

[youlovelythief]

gifts to Aphrodite

summary: Tatsuki and Orihime grow together.

pairing: orihime/tatsuki

notes: listen i know the post-686 ishihime angst is real but i thirst for tatsuhime so bad. tatsuhime was real too and we deserved tats and orihime living together post-graduation. instead all we got was forced rukia-orihime BFF shoved down our throats and NO THANK U. so here. i am more than willing to write the only tatsuhime post-686 angst fic out there. i accept my fate. also there is a second part to this / 694 words

Tatsuki says, “I want you to have everything you need in life.”

 It is spring, and they are twenty-two.

It has been eight years since a group of girls cut off Orihime’s hair in the middle school bathroom, since Tatsuki joined the judo club.

It has been six years since Orihime’s hairpins began to glow and Tatsuki began to see ghosts.

It has been four years since the war.

Three since they decided to move in together, broke college students just trying to keep living in Tokyo. Just trying to keep going.

One year since Orihime leaned over their kitchen tabletop in sweatpants and a coffee-stained t-shirt, a year since Tatsuki leaned in too, smelling like soap and deodorant and the leftover curry they’d ordered yesterday. A year since a kiss and laugh and nothing really changing but everything shifting.

Everything shifting, and everything looking like it’d be okay.

  Orihime sleeps with Kurosaki-kun because relationships aren’t just kissing and laughing at one in the morning, and hers with Tatsuki is no different.

Orihime sleeps with Kurosaki-kun because that’s what happens when two good friends decide to say fuck all to studying for anatomy and physiology and go out for a drink for the first time since starting medical school.

Orihime sleeps with Kurosaki-kun because Tatsuki is traveling for judo and their apartment, for all its Saturday morning pancakes and blankets on the couch and days recounted in front of the TV—their apartment gets lonely for weeks and stays lonely.

Orihime sleeps with Kurosaki-kun, and they agree it means nothing. She’d stopped loving him years ago, and he’d been thinking of moving to Soul Society for his gap year. Sober, he’d thought maybe two years. Drunkenly, he’d declared he would “stay for fucking good if that goddamn midget would just ‘fess up already.”

Orihime dresses and goes home. She zips her jacket all the way up to her chin against the December morning.

  She tells Tatsuki when she comes home, and forgiveness is not a road they’ve ever really had to walk before, but they do. It takes months, but eventually Tatsuki lets her back into their bed, and by this time winter has come and gone, and Orihime’s medical school graduation is coming up. It’s her last semester. She is in love with Tatsuki. They might even be—maybe, hopefully, wistfully—getting engaged. The snow has melted, and everything is shifting again, but Orihime can’t quite see it yet.

She’s looking so far up that she doesn’t see the porcelain bowl right under her nose. 6:30AM, every day. Like clockwork.

After two weeks, the remnants of her buttered toast floating in blue toilet water is unavoidable. Orihime’s not stupid. Just in denial.

She huddles next to the bathroom sink, long auburn hair pressed to her face, wet with toilet water, wet with tears.

She was this close to becoming a doctor.

  Orihime crumples in Tatsuki’s arms on a Sunday morning two months before her graduation date.

And Tatsuki—where she should have been anger and clenched fists and burning eyes and everything else she is on the mat—

Tatsuki holds her. Tatsuki looks down at her like a child holding the pieces of a broken toy.

 Later, Tatsuki sits in the laundry room, judo uniform slipping through her hands.

She lets it fall to the floor, unwashed. It smells like dust and chalk and sweat and tough plastic mats—smells like her high school gym, though she’s been training at a professional gym since college. Tatsuki thumbs the belt still looped loosely around the waist band, runs a finger down the collar. Clenches the white cloth in her fist.

She remembers joining judo club. Fourteen and angry. Remembers the way she had clumsily fought those girls, hair pulling and kicking and screaming. She’d wanted something more concrete—she’d wanted to turn her body into a shield.

She’d wanted to protect Orihime.

She can’t protect her from this.

  Tatsuki says, “I want you to have everything you need in life. I want you to be happy.”

Orihime more than understands.

  Kurosaki-kun graduates. He doesn’t go to Soul Society.

They agree on a summer wedding.

[conflictandscotchblog]

Retail Therapy

I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that I was noticing similar grieving patterns after I miscarried in my second trimester compared to those I had when my mom died in 1994. One of those coping mechanisms, of all things, is retail therapy. [A reminder that I am not the shopper in the family. My husband is the shopper, that I affectionately (and secretly) call the queen or the diva. This started years ago when he used to buy me my perfume, "Happy" from Clinique, and I would find the "free gift" in HIS bathroom drawers - eye cream, wrinkle cream, what have you.] I remember when my mom died, my dad gave me his credit card and off I went to Kingsdale Shopping Center (where we all worked at Macri’s during college – I could go for a mini chef turk salad right about now!). Naturally, I had my bff Deirdre in tow.

I remember being in The Limited and Limited Express. I was buying just to buy. Again, I don’t even like to shop and yet it made me feel better. As I sit here at forty (40) years old, I can write with fair certainty that I will get in trouble now with my dad for revealing this tidbit almost two decades later. I remember Deirdre saying, “Oh, I like that shirt, sweater, etc.” or something that effect. “Throw it in the pile.” Deirdre, “No, I couldn’t do that!” “Sure you can! It is on my Dad. He will not know. Throw whatever you want in the pile.” Deirdre and I both made out like bandits that day all thanks to my Dad. In short, money – whether mine or my dad’s – after something traumatic in your life, does not seem to matter. A lot of things don’t seem to matter. People dying of cancer would love to have my problem of a miscarriage or failed adoptions. There are so many bigger issues in life. I remember my dad saying to me, “Your mom worried about money all the time. Look how all that time was wasted now.”

 Maybe I learned to deal with grief by retail therapy by example? My dad, at the sake of being childish, “started it”. First, he was the one that loaded my brother and I on a plane to Las Vegas first class for a week after my mom died. Second, that trip was followed by another vacation to good ole’ Ocean City, MD. My dad grew up in Maryland and spent his summers there. My mom, dad, brother and I went every year for 1-2 weeks. Third, my dad gave me his credit card to shop. This retail therapy does not seem to be uncommon. I know of a husband and 10 year old that lost their wife/mother to breast cancer a few months ago. They have been staying in a vacation home in Malibu since she died in May. I know everyone grieves differently. Some people get angry at God (or angry in general), some people get depressed, some people drink and some people, well, shop. After this latest loss, I can say that if the economy is getting better, you may want to thank my husband and me. We apparently think we are the Rockefellers right now.

My husband went out and bought a Playstation 3 right after we miscarried. I handle all the money in the family, but I told him it was fine. We went to Las Vegas, first class, just my as dad did. We have shopped…um… quite a bit. That translates to: I came home with a bookmark and a nail file from Las Vegas (total $3.50) and my husband came home with about 1,000 t-shirts/hats (his happiness = priceless). I most certainly did want to buy the Wynn hotel bed, along with all the linens, but had to draw the line at that point. I would never get out of bed if we had the Wynn bed and, therefore, I would be unemployed. By allowing us to treat ourselves a little bit, it is allowing us to heal. I simply feel there are bigger things than money right now. As I write this, he is shopping for a new xm radio. He also went out and bought a rare kind of beer he drank when we were at a restaurant in Las Vegas. He never drinks beer, let alone buys it. I think we both are buying here and there just to buy. Right now, splurging a bit on something other than adoption agencies and medical fees feels good after almost a decade. I am also splurging a bit on others. I have done some things (quietly) for others because it makes me feel good. There are worse vices or ways of dealing with grief. This is a positive one. The economy needs us now. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. I am answering that call with something I never say, “SHOP”!

This respite will all be coming to an end shortly. We will have to decide to try again or to give up completely. We meet with “Tressel” tomorrow to discuss our options for the future. I have kind of enjoyed this mini break from the quest of parenthood. Is it sad? Sure. Is it difficult? Absolutely. But to be free from anxiety or medical tests/exams for the past month has been a very welcome relief. To end on a positive note, I do believe in signs. As I sit here and write this, I just got a call from Tressel’s office. Thinking they were just confirming our appointment, she surprised me and said he is now taking our insurance. None of this has been covered by insurance. We have a consultation tomorrow, and although I will believe it when I see it, what unusual timing. Just when we thought we were at the end of our rope, a call with a ray of hope. Maybe we can try again and not have to stand in line for cheese? Maybe any further tests will be covered by insurance, or, in the realm of shopping and retail therapy, on “sale”? However, right now, at this moment, as I take this journey day by day, that call may have just saved us, at the very least, a very large consultation fee for tomorrow and I will take it! Baby steps.

 Thanks for reading and sharing. Stay tuned for the next baby step. xoxo (aka socks).

 Originally Published: Monday, August 13, 2012

To Read More of KLC’s work, click here

[dino-trash1]

Hi, I just want to write, you don’t have to read it but if you want in on my life then go ahead and feel free to interact with me.

Okay as stated in the title you don’t have to read, it’s just a diary entry for myself, I will start with talking about my BFF and end with talking about my crush that I have had for a year now. If there are any comments, questions, or concerns please feel free to contact me with them. Remember this is for my blog only, I doubt anyone will want to reblog this anyways. 

Okay, so I am just gonna start with my BFF. She has been my BFF for the past 8 or 9 years. She will always be my BFF. However, I just noticed this past year how she tries to make everything about herself. She constantly talks over people and sorta makes fun of me, she also gives minimal effort towards things which would stress me out so much but it's okay, moving forward. So before I start to explain I just want to point out, these are just my feelings, I am in no way trying to put her down or gossip about her, I just need to write about it and get it out. Okay, so she tries to make everything about herself, let's start with that. I have noticed this last year of her living with me that no matter what I was going through or the conversation I start she turns it around and makes it about herself or compares herself to it. For example just last week I had I guess a panic attack or anxiety attack and about ten mins later I was just starting to calm down and stop crying and she texted me asking what I was doing. When I replied I was trying to calm down, she asked why and I told her. Then she turned it around to herself saying, “yeah I have really bad anxiety, so bad it put me in the hospital.” and she kept talking about her when at that time I feel like it should have been more focused on me. I really wouldn't mind talking about her issues with it if she would just talk with me about my issue first while it was happening. Also, you don’t tell someone that just had an anxiety/panic attack that one landed you in the hospital. Anyways, Idk if it’s just me but I would really like to talk about me for once without her comparing herself (at first) or changing the subject to herself. Which I kind of understand why she does, she grew up with a ton of siblings so I can understand having to “compete” (that's so not the right word but I can't think of the right one) with other siblings. So going along with having to “compete” she constantly talks over people. Like she could ask me a question and I could start to answer and she would just start talking over me for no reason. It's like she has to get her sentence out before my answer is. Now I have been accused of doing this by my dad but he just likes to think he is right. He will stop talking and then I'll talk then he will start talking in between my pauses and then I start up talking again. But that's kinda off-topic. By the “sorta makes fun of me” thing, she just says things like referring to me as “child” even when I have asked her to stop numerous times because I am not a child, I have add/ADHD which sort of makes me act like a child sometimes (quite rarely) but still she shouldn't keep calling me that after I asked her not to. About the minimal effort thing, she used to do it in middle school with her grades. Like she knew she could do more to get a better grade but as long as it's a 70 she doesn't care. She's in college now and still acts like that, Idk that just kind of drives me crazy, but I like to try my best for school, now at home, I am a little lazy don't get me wrong lol. Anyways that was my little vent about my best friend. I just want to explain again, this is not me being rude or trying to out her or anything of the sorts, its really just my feelings that I wanted to talk about. 

Now onto my crush. Okay so let's just call him Linda (it is a boy but I couldn’t think of another boy name to save my life). So about a year ago, in June I started working at a local store, this store was the only store in my tiny town so everyone knew everyone and they soon knew me. In fact, people would just stop in to see who is in the store and then not buy anything lol. Anyways I worked with a really cool lady(the mother of Linda) and a few times she mentioned her son which I finally met, he was cool, I guess we flirted but I always seen it as fun and games, mainly because I wasn’t into him. But my attitude makes me seem like I am flirtatious, a lot of men thought I was flirting even if I was literally just talking. Anyways, it wasn’t until long after I met linda, a whole fricken summer, that I noticed he liked me. And a week after that I had to quit my job due to college and I thought I would never see linda again. Well Me and My bff went to work at a seasonal gig, (which I love and will always love so much!!! i am doing it again this year!) and he worked in the same area as us!!! When he came to visit(even when I was in costume he would take advantage and “make fun of me” because I could only answer in a certain accent and in a certain manner). Unfortunately, the even ended in November last year and I hadn't seen him since. In the meantime, me and my BFF were playing a question game and during so she said she got a bad feeling from him, which I didn't. (I know I am about to sound crazy but she has no idea what she is talking about when it comes to intuition or witch stuff, etc. On the other hand, I was raised by a witch and she had two witch sisters that still practice till today and passed on my dads side, I am a woman so I got the gift of intuition, if you don't know what that means, I basically know stuff before it happens.)  So since I have dealt with my intuition my whole life and it never failed, I was kind of questioning her, because she doesn't have it, she just said she got a bad feeling from him. Which I didn’t, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t good, it's like a dark cloud rolls over my entire body, idk it weird. But, I told her that I wish she had told me that before even if I always talk about how I like him and such. And she just didn’t have a response. So since then, I hadn’t thought about him in a good way and my crush sort of dropped. Until yesterday, when lindas mom came into my new store and updated me on him. She said that he has had some medical issues the past couple of months, but he is okay. I told her to let him know that I am sorry and I hope he gets better. She said, “yeah, Ill bring him up here one day, I am sure he would love to see you again.” Idk about any of yall but that sounded a lot like, “my son kinda likes you.” But at the same time idk how anyone could like me, I don’t even completely like me. Although I may just be reading way too far into this...  

Well sorry for boring you with my life, if you did read all the way through(which I doubt anyone did) please let me know what you think. As always, I am open to any questions, comments, concerns, etc.