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sacrifeis · 21 days ago

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﹟ 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙑 ⁝ welcome eleanor tully to king ’ s landing . the lady of riverrun is known to all as a charming , loyal individual . however , amidst the chaos of the realm , they find themselves becoming more vain and manipulative . visions of flowing fabrics in shades of blue and silver , reminiscent of the waters of riverrun . freshwater pearls woven into the braided styles of noble , coquettish youth . a relentless wondering of your place in this world , youngest of five .

INDENTIFICATION .

full name : eleanor tully

title : lady

nicknames : ellie ( family and close friends only . )

gender : cis - female

pronouns : she & her

age : twenty - five

place of birth : riverrun , the riverlands

current location : king ' s landing , the crownlands

nationality : westerosi , riverlander

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION .

face claim : phoebe dynevor

hair color : light auburn

eye color : river blue

height : 5 ' 5 " ( 165 cm )

usual expression : open , amicable

distinguishing characteristics : soft , well kept auburn hair and a porcelain - like complexion . her coloring brings attention to tully blue eyes

PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION .

zodiac sign : leo sun , libra moon , cancer rising

meyer - briggs : esfp : the entertainer

enneagram : type 3 , wing 4

moral alignment : chaotic neutral

positive traits : charming , optimistic , ambitious , adaptable

negative traits : vain , insecure , manipulative , jealous , superficial

CHARACTER COMPARISONS .

amy march ( little woman ) , margaery tyrell ( a song of ice and fire ) , emma woodhouse ( emma ) , lydia bennett ( pride & prejudice ) , scarlett o ' hara ( gone with the wind ) , marianne dashwood ( sense & sensibility ) , lavinia swire ( downton abbey ) , rosaline capulet ( still star - crossed )

STORY .

born in the quiet halls of riverrun, eleanor tully is the youngest of five children, always living in the shadow of her older siblings. as a child, she watches with wide eyes as her sisters parade in their beautiful gowns and sparkling jewels, each day filled with the laughter and chatter of family life. but when her father sends her to winterfell to foster with her aunt, she finds herself in a world as different from her own as the summer sun is from the winter's chill. the north is a land of stark beauty, where the wind howls through the trees and snow blankets the ground, yet eleanor longs for the warmth and color of the south, where life feels vibrant and alive.

when she returns to riverrun as a young woman, the pressure to marry and secure her place in the world weighs heavily on her shoulders. her family eyes her with hope, eager to see her follow in her sisters' footsteps and catch the attention of a worthy suitor. but eleanor is no simple girl to be wed off without a thought. beneath her charming smile lies a fierce desire to carve out her own path. as whispers of marriage proposals surround her, she begins to learn the art of courtly games, determined to use her beauty and wit to her advantage. yet, even as she navigates the complexities of her future, the allure of the south still tugs at her heart, a reminder of the life she yearns for beyond the walls of riverrun.

WANTED CONNECTIONS .

the spider ' s web . a cunning and influential court figure who sees eleanor’s potential and skillfully weaves her into their intricate web of manipulation. they teach eleanor the art of courtly games, molding her into a political player, but their tutelage comes with strings attached—and eleanor may eventually find herself tangled in their schemes. ( 0 / 1 )

the serpent in silk . a beautiful and ambitious rival who competes with eleanor for attention, influence, and status. beneath their charm and grace lies venomous intent, and their relationship is a constant back-and-forth of subtle sabotage and power plays. this rivalry forces eleanor to sharpen her own manipulative skills, testing her limits. ( 0 / 1 )

the thorned rose . a suitor who is captivated by eleanor’s beauty and charm but harbors their own ambitions. the thorned rose presents a relationship full of intrigue and complication—either as someone eleanor can use to advance her status or as a potential love interest who challenges her to confront her deeper insecurities and desires. whether they bloom together or hurt each other with their ambitions remains to be seen. ( 0 / 1 )

the charming rogue . a dashing and charismatic individual who effortlessly captures the attention of all, including eleanor. their playful banter and flirty demeanor create a whirlwind of attraction that draws her in, igniting her vanity and desire for attention. however, beneath the charm lies a mysterious past and ulterior motives. this flirtation challenges eleanor to navigate her feelings and ambitions, forcing her to consider whether their connection is genuine or just another game in the court. ( 0 / 1 )

the mirror . a confidant who reflects eleanor’s true self back at her, seeing past her outward beauty and ambition to the vulnerability beneath. they are someone she can be real with, offering a rare and cherished bond. however, as eleanor delves deeper into manipulation and superficiality, their relationship may fracture, forcing her to confront whether she’s losing herself in the process. ( 0 / 1 )

the fox in the henhouse . a clever opportunist who seeks to exploit eleanor’s rising influence for their own gain. the fox flatters eleanor and tempts her with the promise of more power, alliances, or wealth, but always with a hidden agenda. eleanor must learn to recognize their schemes—or she might end up their pawn. alternatively, she could embrace the partnership for mutual gain. ( 0 / 1 )

the iron butterfly . the most powerful woman at court, both admired and feared by all. this formidable figure becomes eleanor’s role model, someone she initially idolizes and seeks to impress. as eleanor’s own ambitions grow, she must decide whether to remain an ally of the iron butterfly or challenge her for dominance. their interactions push eleanor to decide whether she wants to be a graceful follower or a dangerous rival. ( 0 / 1 )

#◞ ❛ ⋮ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 : eleanor tully .#ftv.intro #heheh this got long

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subir-astrologer · 1 month ago

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RAHU IN 1ST HOUSE AND THE NATIVE PERSONALITY

In Vedic astrology, Rahu in the 1st house has a profound impact on a person's personality and overall life experience. Rahu, being a shadow planet, is associated with illusion, desire, ambition, materialism, and unconventional thinking. When placed in the 1st house, which represents the self, physical appearance, and the personality, it shapes these aspects in the following ways:

Personality Traits of a Native with Rahu in the 1st House:

1. Strong Desire for Recognition: The native may be highly ambitious and eager to gain recognition, fame, and social standing. They often have a powerful desire to establish themselves, especially in unconventional or innovative ways.

2. Magnetic and Charismatic Personality: Rahu can give a certain mysterious and magnetic appeal to the native. These people may have a unique or unconventional way of presenting themselves, attracting attention from others.

3. Restlessness and Instability: Due to Rahu's unpredictable and fluctuating nature, the native may experience inner restlessness, and their life might be marked by ups and downs. This can manifest as a desire for change and novelty, making it difficult for them to feel settled.

4. Non-conformist and Rebellious: Individuals with Rahu in the 1st house often have a rebellious streak. They tend to question traditions and norms, preferring to carve out their own path in life. This makes them open to taking risks or pursuing careers and lifestyles that may be considered unusual.

5. Confusion Regarding Identity: There can be a sense of confusion regarding their sense of self, as Rahu clouds clarity. The native might struggle with self-identity, frequently adapting to different personalities or personas to achieve their goals or gain acceptance.

6. Materialistic and Worldly Desires: Rahu represents worldly pleasures, so the native may have strong materialistic desires. They may seek luxury, status, and wealth, sometimes in an obsessive manner.

7. Challenging Relationships: Rahu's influence may create difficulties in relationships, particularly due to the native’s unconventional approach to life. There might be misunderstandings or misalignments with others, and they may sometimes appear manipulative or overly focused on personal gain.

8. Sharp and Intelligent Mind: Rahu in the 1st house often bestows intellectual sharpness, creativity, and resourcefulness. The native is likely to think outside the box and come up with innovative ideas or strategies, often outsmarting others in competitive environments.

9. Health and Appearance: Depending on the sign and aspects of Rahu, the native’s physical appearance can be distinctive, sometimes unusual, or striking. They may also face health issues due to Rahu’s malefic influence, especially those related to stress, addictions, or toxic substances.

Impact of Rahu in Different Signs in the 1st House:

Aries: Aggressive, bold, and extremely ambitious.

Taurus: Materialistic, focused on wealth and luxury, with a stubborn nature.

Gemini: Skilled in communication, witty, and versatile but prone to nervousness.

Cancer: Emotionally intense, with desires tied to family and security.

Leo: Dominating, seeks recognition, and has a strong desire for leadership.

Virgo: Analytical, calculative, and focused on perfection but can be anxious.

Libra: Charmingly diplomatic but may manipulate relationships for personal gain.

Scorpio: Secretive, intense, and prone to obsession or extreme behaviors.

Sagittarius: Adventurous, unconventional in beliefs, and desires to break free from restrictions.

Capricorn: Practical and ambitious, with a strong desire for authority.

Aquarius: Revolutionary, non-conformist, and drawn toward progressive or unusual ideas.

Pisces: Spiritual or escapist tendencies, creative, and drawn to illusion or fantasy.

Remedies:

Since Rahu can create challenges related to confusion, obsession, and instability, individuals with this placement are often advised to follow certain remedies in Vedic astrology, such as:

Worshipping Lord Shiva or Goddess Durga.

Chanting Rahu-related mantras like "Om Raam Rahave Namah."

Wearing gemstones (like Gomed) or rudraksha associated with Rahu, depending on individual charts.

Regular meditation to calm the mind and reduce confusion.

In summary, Rahu in the 1st house can create a complex, ambitious, and sometimes enigmatic personality. The native may be highly driven but can struggle with issues related to identity, restlessness, and material obsession. Proper guidance and remedies can help mitigate some of the negative effects.

#rahu astrology effect #horoscope readings #horoscope posts #astrologer #vedic astrologer #horoscope analysis #vedic astrology #astrology #horoscopes #vedicastrology #horoscope #daily horoscope #daily astrology #remedies #vedic jyotish #indian jyotish

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astrolocherry · 2 years ago

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1/4 ~ There's a Storm in Alice's Teacup...

This week we have the Aries Sun conjunct Jupiter trine transiting Mars in Cancer square Saturn in Pisces. ~This can produce an experience of obstacles seeming to appear in every direction that you take. The pressure of oppression and resistance is the weight that you can use to launch into the direction that you really want to go. ~The archetypal Cancer and Pisces symbolise The Visionary. Mars is the call to action, while Saturn provides the grounded framework to transform immaterial into material. ~This combination can result in emotional inflammation when it comes to setting new challenges and carving greatly inspired ambition.

There's a storm in Alice's teacup, and it has the power to force waves in the real world. ~ Cherry

#horoscope #transit #mars trine saturn #aries season #transits #mars in cancer #saturn in pisces

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foster-the-world · 1 year ago

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So fun

Halloween was so fun. Kids trick or treating was great. Met up with three other families from school. In-laws came down. Baby boy was very happy and his behavior wasn't bad. We did give him the phone in the stroller for the last half hour. Both of us wanted to stay out to enjoy the time with the girls and he was understandably finished. He dazed out on the TV so we could all stay out until 7:30/8pm.

Its no surprise NYC goes over board and I love it so much. Nearby we have a neighborhood nonprofit - called Marcus meets Malcolm because its on Malcom X near Marcus Garvey park. I adore the name. They do a ton of events for the kids. The street is lined with huge, stunning brownstones that go all out. For Halloween alone they do a pumpkin carving night, a vejigante mask making night, an outdoor movie night, a healthy cooking meal night and hourly activities from 4-8pm on Halloween. Its the same for every holiday. For Christmas they also have a black Santa - which means I don't have to search for one. It creates such a nice neighborhood feel.

The girls were beyond happy. Lots of dancing took place. They were very inefficient so didn't get much candy - which was A-okay with me. One family friend spent the night with us. Her Mom is currently fighting cancer so were happy to help out. She's in third grade so no trouble at all. The in-laws were very happy to see the kids. It was kind of difficult to keep track of them a block behind us while baby boy runs a block ahead of the group but we made it worked.

So much fun and now I'm glad to have it all finished. One bag of Halloween decorations will be put away until next year. I received the Boden Christmas catalogue. Trying to remind myself my children do not need overpriced Christmas themed clothes they can only wear for one month a year. Especially not when they wear uniforms to school so only have two days a week to wear everyday clothes. But its so damn cute.

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thepastisalreadywritten · 2 years ago

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Featured image: A detail of the basalt Rosetta Stone (Photo at All-len-All)

A mystery surrounds the death of a 19th century-Frenchman who unraveled a great mystery—the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.

Jean-Francois Champollion died young after deciphering the Rosetta Stone, which unlocked the keys to the many enigmatic and beautiful hieroglyphic texts discovered in ruins, up and down the length of Egypt.

It gave modern people a much greater understanding of that great civilization.

Champollion was born on 23 December 1790 in France and died there on 4 March 1832, after visiting Egypt in 1829.

He had felt symptoms of malaise before departing for Egypt, according to a letter to the editor of the journal Clinical Neurophysiology by Dr. Hutan Ashrafian of the Department of Surgery and Cancer, Imperial College-London.

Jean-Francois Champollion is considered amongst the greatest linguists of all time; his decipherment of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs and the Rosetta stone has led some to consider him the ‘‘Father of Egyptology.’’

His early death at the age of forty-one has typically been ascribed to fatigue and exhaustion from overwork on a year-long visit to Egypt.

This journey is reported as having initiated his progressive demise following the return to his native France, where he died from a reported stroke two years later.’ —H. Ashrafian

Dr. Ashrafian writes that the term “stroke” is used here in a generic sense rather than a formal medical diagnosis.

His family has refused to allow an autopsy but studying reports of Champollion’s condition has led the doctor to draw some conclusions about the death of the great scholar.

While in Egypt, Champollion did not suffer from lymph disease or fevers. But later in life, Champollion suffered from muscle weakness, limb paralysis, and ultimately, could not breathe.

He didn’t suffer from heart disease or lack of blood flow.

“Furthermore, at the moment of decipherment of hieroglyphs (1828), he is noted to have collapsed, though this may be viewed as a vasovagal [fainting] episode as a result of extreme emotional outpouring.

In his final weeks, he became emotionally labile consistent with progression of pseudobulbar dysfunction and eventually demonstrated a ‘locked-in’ syndrome before his death.”

Pseudobulbar dysfunction means he was unable to speak.

It may be considered ironic that a man who gave a ‘voice’ to the people of ancient Egypt and opened their world to modern scholars like never before was unable to articulate his own thoughts just before he died.

Given that he was not mentally impaired, did not have seizures but first suffered from weakness in his legs, and later was unable to speak, led Dr. Ashrafian to conclude Champollion had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—or total paralysis of his muscles.

Exhausted by his labors during and after his scientific expedition to Egypt, Champollion died of an apoplectic attack (stroke) in Paris on 4 March 1832 at the age of 41.

His body was buried in Père Lachaise Cemetery. On his tomb is a simple obelisk erected by his wife and a stone slab stating simply:

Ici repose Jean-François Champollion, né à Figeac dept. du Lot le 23 décembre 1790, décédé à Paris le 4 mars 1832

(Here rests Jean-François Champollion, born at Figeac, Department of the Lot, on 23 December 1790, died at Paris on 4 March 1832).

Words of the Gods

The word hieroglyph means “sacred words” or “sacred signs.”

Clement of Alexandria was the first to use the word. Ancient Egyptians called their script mdju netjer or “words of the gods.”

The first known hieroglyphs date to around 3400 to 3200 BC, the pre-dynastic era.

The last known hieroglyphs were carved in stone around 394 AD.

The Rosetta Stone, found by Frenchmen in 1799 in a fort at the town of Rosetta during Napoleon’s occupation of Egypt, has hieroglyphs, Egyptian demotic, and ancient Greek translations of the same text.

Champollion, who had taught himself ancient languages, was able to decipher its meaning and unlock the entire script.

A full translation of the Rosetta Stone can be viewed at the British Museum, which acquired the document and other artifacts after Napoleon’s defeat.

Here is an excerpt:

‘Whereas King Ptolemy, living forever, the Manifest God whose excellence is fine, son of King Ptolemy [and Queen] Arsinoe, the Father-loving Gods, is wont to do many favours for the temples of Egypt and for all those who are subject to his kingship, he being a god, the son of a god and a goddess;

and being like Horus, son of Isis and Osiris, who protects his father Osiris, and his heart being beneficent concerning the gods, since he has given much money and much grain to the temples of Egypt, [he having undertaken great expenses] in order to create peace in Egypt and to establish the temples, and having rewarded all the forces that are subject to his rulership;

and of the revenues and taxes that were in force in Egypt he had reduced some or(?) had renounced them completely, in order to cause the army and all the other people to be prosperous in his time as [king].’

Ancient Egyptians carved hieroglyphs into clay seals, rock, pottery vessels, and bone and ivory.

The Rosetta Stone scripts are carved in basalt.

#Jean-Francois Champollion #Rosetta Stone #Egyptian hieroglyphs #Père Lachaise Cemetery #hieroglyph #Clement of Alexandria #British Museum #Father of Egyptology #Ancient Egypt

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crowskyler · 7 months ago

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About a month ago, my grandmother — my last living grandparent, on my dad's side — died. I've been wanting to sit down and write about it, but I haven't been able to actually do it before now.

It wasn't a shock. Her health had been declining for several months, and she'd been moved into hospice care roughly a month or so before. Two types of cancer and various other kinds of organ problems were the culprit. At 95, treatment options were limited, and she'd refused to do anything about it for months. I know this seemed to frustrate my dad, who went right into fight mode the second she needed to go to the hospital. He was carving out a plan with a specialist while my grandmother was sent to a physical therapy and care facility, where he had to fight her insurance tooth and nail — despite her not having able to walk more than a few feet.

Then a doctor from her plan got in touch with him and asked him why he was putting her through this. She was in so much pain from everything. He wanted to fight, but she didn't; she was over it. The doctor managed to convince my dad that she needed hospice care, to put together a plan to make her comfortable. And it worked. My grandmother was in much less pain when she passed, thanks to painkillers. When my dad told me she'd stopped eating, I knew what was about to happen. But my mind didn't really know what to do with the information.

I was at work when he called me, cleaning rooms at the hotel. Luckily it was a slow day and I only had to work a little bit more before I could go home, but I had to come in the next day. I was fine — unless someone talked to me about it, and then I was an instant crying wreck. I couldn't talk about it at all. My coworkers gave me a few hugs — the only people who did, and I'm grateful to them — and I managed to mostly get through the day, blessedly having two days off after that to attempt to process everything.

Or, I thought I was processing. But as I've come to realize, it was much slower than that.

My grandmother was the last of her friends to go, something that I'm sure made her feel pained and lonely; her best friend had died roughly a year ago, a lovely lady named Dorothy whom she'd talked to multiple times a day, for decades. Losing Dorothy took something out of her. Maybe that was the start of all of this. When my grandmother had been admitted to the hospital nearly 4 months ago, I'd started to see the writing on the wall. I'd already done some grieving and worrying. When she passed, I was able to feel a little glad that at least she wouldn't suffer anymore, laying in that bed and wanting to go back home.

As it turned out, my dad and the rest of my family very quickly went into practicality mode. My coworkers had put together a little lump sum for us, very kindly, and I offered to pay for a meal for all of us. A wake situation, or celebration of life — whatever you want to call it. My dad seemed bemused by the offer. Nothing's been organized. Instead, the project has been my grandmother's home. He offered for my sister and brother-in-law to buy it, and that's what they've decided to do, and now that's consumed everything. Sorting belongings, contracts, and finding an estate sale service to clear out everything we don't want. We're still in the middle of that. My sister sold her house and has about two more weeks until they have to move out. The estate sale will be this weekend, I think.

It's not my place to organize a celebration of life, or anything like that, but I've felt the absence. We had a wake for my mom a week after she died. Now, nothing. Just divvying up her belongings. Maybe we're waiting until my uncle can come down from where he lives, in about a month or so, I don't know. But my grief has sat nearly raw within me for weeks. When I go over to my grandmother's house to help out, it threatens to overwhelm me at least once. But with the exception of my brother coming over and breaking down a few times, my family's shown almost no emotion except on the actual day — when I heard it in my dad's voice. It's weird. Aren't we supposed to be commiserating and celebrating her in this time? But instead they're just gutting her house and acting like all of this is such a nuisance.

It's strange to get a hug from my coworkers and not my actual family. The silence has been deafening, from them and from the friends I've told. It's fine. I keep myself operating — mostly. And the lack of anything gave me a revelation, of sorts. When I was fifteen, I decided that I wanted to write. That's what I wanted to do more than anything. When I cleaned out a folder at her house, I found a story I wrote when I was a kid. Just some nonsense, but my grandmother had kept it for all of these years. She'd been an avid reader and had always wanted to read my writing, but after my mother had done so — and criticized it horribly — I became cagey about letting my family read anything. I'd wanted to become a published author, to present my grandma with a book she could read; to make her proud. But that hasn't happened. Depression and full time work have been a huge setback for years. And now she's gone, and I never had anything to show her.

I have many fond memories of waking up in the sun on her couch, while hearing the strum of my grandfather's guitar or the gentle brush on his drums, and smelling their coffee while my grandmother made us pancakes. My grandmother loved pizza, and she would often get it for dinner while I was there — and then we would have a cold slice of pizza for breakfast the next morning, another of her favorite things. She would give me a mini art lesson in the afternoon, or take me out for a walk, or let me play with all of her bead-making materials. In the late afternoon, she'd give me gardening tips while we weeded her yard and checked her tomatoes. In the evening we'd watch television. I'd sometimes beg to watch a nature documentary, which she was also happy to watch, or I'd content myself with whatever she found. On Saturday mornings we'd all watch cartoons together.

My grandmother was the most supportive person I knew as a kid, she would always listen to what I had to say. Even if she found it silly or weird, she would answer with words that made it clear that I was heard. As a teen who struggled with self esteem, it was everything to me. It's hard to accept that we can never talk about animals again (a mutual love of ours), or art; it's even harder to know that I'll never be able to listen to another of her lovely and funny stories. She had so many funny stories about the shenanigans of past pets and friends, and interesting stories about growing up in a rural and much less developed California. She taught me everything that I know about gardening.

And now I have to accept that I disappointed her, just like I've disappointed everyone else.

She would never say so, to be clear; she would hug me and tell me that she loves me no matter what, because that's the kind of person she was. If I said anything like this to her, she would tell me that I'm enough, I'm sure. But I've never managed anything impressive, or even average, and I know people in this family view me as a failure. I wish, desperately, that I had been able to do something to show her otherwise. Instead, I'll just have this emptiness for the rest of my life. No wonder so many people think of the afterlife as a shining place above, where you can watch your family below; future triumphs could be viewed by the dead, giving you comfort in life.

I hope writing down some of this has calmed the churning parts of me that haven't found any rest, these past few weeks. I'd like to start healing from this profound misery.

#cw grief #cw death #crowskyler #just working through some stuff #this ended up being very long #if someone makes it through all of this - bravo #grandmothers #grandparents #grief #family #regret

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jo-harrington · 1 year ago

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TW: Death, illness, parental aging

Today's my Nonna's birthday, she would have been 85.

But she passed in '99, on my 5th birthday, from complications with cancer. She was 61. Do I believe, even without the cancer, she would have made it to 85? In my heart, no. She lived a hard and stressful life, full of sacrifice and heartbreak; she gave too much of herself--loved too much--and got very little in return.

To this day though, I remember what she looked like when I was young and impressionable, and she was sick and gaunt and dying. I still remember her smile carved into her skeletal face and the feel of my tiny hand in her fragile bony one.

I was away from home for 4 days. I go away a lot, actually. Whether it's for work or for fun, I leave and then I come back.

But this time when I came home, I looked at my mother's face and saw that memory of my Nonna. For the first time, I saw it and it scared me. My mom already looked so much like Nonna, but the imprint of my sick and dying grandmother is all I saw in my mom's face. I saw the sharpness of my her cheeks, the sunken eyes, felt the weakness in her hand as she sat beside me on the couch and listened to my stories.

She's 63. She's healthy, on paper, for all intents and purposes. Does she have her health issues fixed by pills and creams and too many doctors visits? Yes. But she's also lived a hard and stressful life, full of a lot of those same sacrifices and heartbreaks that my nonna faced. More, actually. So many more.

So today, on the day that would have been her 85th birthday, I'm questioning how long Nonna might have had. If her body hadn't been torn apart by cancer and those hard treatments, how full would her face have been at 63? How strong would her hands be? How much more love would she been able to give, and receive in return after a hard life lived? How long would she have made it?

And will my mom be able to make it that long too?

#I'm just a sad and scared noodle today

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lilyevanstan1325 · 11 months ago

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✨ Astral Lovers ✨

Chapter 6

Lily POV

When I open my eyes I only see the ceiling of my bedroom.

A tear escapes from my eyes.

I lie down staring at nothing for I don't know how long.

My gaze wanders without a fixed goal.

Only afterwards I realize that I am wearing the clothes of the previous evening.

When I went up to my room last night, I threw myself directly on the bed.

Too busy with events to even have the strength to think about taking a shower and putting on a pajamas.

Last night...

I sigh.

I sit up bringing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them where I rest my left cheek.

I am facing the window.

It is still dark outside.

The clock on the wall strikes 4:10 AM.

My mind immediately flies to the dinner with my father.

It all seems so absurd.

I didn't think he really missed mom, they only fight in the end.

And then there was that secret.

What I never had the courage to reveal to my parents.

Dad had prepared the divorce papers.

I had found them one day, by pure chance.

My mom was already ill, we had been diagnosed for about a week.

At the hospital we were asked for insurance documents, for health coverage.

So, after I got home from school, I took a shower and started looking for those documents.

I didn't want to waste my father's time so he could go straight from the office to the hospital without the hassle of having to go home and waste more time.

Wasting more time that he could have spent with her.

I thought I was doing both of them a favor.

He seemed to be getting closer to her, they seemed to be the close-knit couple of when I was little.

And instead I was wrong.

I rummaged through mom's drawers but found nothing.

But then I remembered that dad kept all the bookkeeping in his office.

So I ran downstairs and went into his study.

His Sancta Sanctorum.

Behind a double door, of heavy mahogany, was a huge room.

Full of shelves, almost to the ceiling, and filled with hundreds of books.

In the center of the room is his carved desk from the end of the 19th century.

My father's great pride.

I found it creepy.

Made of boise de rose, with the four legs carved with intricate weaves of ivy and here and there a few faces of cherubs.

But they had nothing of angelic.

They have fixed and empty gazes.

As if they saw through time and space, hiding disturbing secrets.

I open the various drawers and start looking.

I can't find anything until I find a file in the bottom drawer.

I opened it because it didn't show any details externally.

Maybe luck was on my side and I would find what I was looking for.

Instead...

I read it all greedily.

I remember having to sit on the ground, my head spinning and I was nauseous.

I couldn't believe it.

He wanted a divorce.

He was at her bedside pretending to be desperate and instead he would come out clean.

He would be the poor grief-stricken man left to raise a troubled teenage daughter.

Why does he raise a fuss about the beautiful person of him asking for a divorce?

Soon he would be a widower.

Soon she would die.

I wanted to throw up.

But I took the hit and put on a mask.

I pretended nothing happened.

Although outside I seemed the portrait of the peace of mind, inside me I screamed and burned.

I had hell in my heart and soul.

That was the moment I began to hate that man.

I cross my legs and hide my face in the palms of my hands.

But now, after our heart-to-heart chat, I could have given him the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe with mom's illness he realized that deep down they still loved each other and that they were just lost along the way.

That together he could face everything, maybe even defeat cancer.

I take another look at the clock.

It's 4:30 AM.

I decide to get up and take a shower, at 6 I should have been at work.

I get up with a sigh and go to the bathroom.

In front of the mirror I begin to undress.

I open the first buttons of the shirt but then I remember to take off the necklace and earrings first.

I tilt my head slightly so that through the mirror I can see the hook of the earring and remove it.

Removed the first I go for the second.

But I make a horrible discovery.

The earring is not there.

No.

No no no.

I run back to my room, taking care not to make any noise, and begin to search.

It can't be.

It can't be true.

I check on the bed, take off the sheets and blankets and throw them on the floor.

Turned my desk and jewelry box upside down.

I kneel on the floor, feeling it inch by inch with both hands.

Nothing, I can't find it.

I go down to the kitchen hoping that I have lost it there.

I leave my room and go down the stairs without even touching the ground.

My eyes becomes wet, I can feel it but I push back the tears.

I feel my chest hurts so bad.

"Please.Please.Please" I murmur under my breath.

"Hey what are you doing?Do you know what time it is?"

I don't even turn around.

I limit myself only to responding on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

"The earring.I lost my earring."

My father doesn't seem to understand so he goes around me to parry him in front of me.

"What are you talking about, Elisabeth?"

"Don't call me Elisabeth!" I explode.

"Mom's earrings.Her favorites.I only had one this morning"

Tears break their bank.

"Maybe you lost it from Jhon.Or on the street"

"You don't help, dad!"

"I'm just saying you need to calm down.It will come out"

"What if it doesn't?I know this will look stupid to you but they were her favorites.She loved them.Me too.She gave them to me when she was on that damn hospital bed.It was her last gesture of love for me"

I'm sobbing now.

My father place himself in front of me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

I'm tempted to shake him off but I hold back.

"As I have already told you I am convinced that it will come out.Now prepare yourself otherwise you will be late for work" and so saying he takes his newspaper, his coffee and leaves the house.

I imitate his voice.

"I'm sure it will come out"

"Dumbass!"

With a heavy heart as a boulder I go back to the bathroom.

I finish undressing and throw myself under the boiling water.

In contact with water, my skin releases a fragrance that teases my mind.

Sandalwood and bergamot.

Steve's bubble bath.

How the hell is that possible?

God I feel my head explode.

I begin to cry even harder.

The shower washes away the tears which are promptly replaced by the others.

For a moment with the earring drama I had forgotten about Steve.

And now him had surfaced.

As if a bomb had gone off in my head.

Like a punch in the stomach.

I don't know what to do.

I'm tired.

Mentally tired.

What if I'm just going crazy?

What if my brain had something wrong?

I shake my head leaving everything out and try to prepare myself in time so as not to be fired.

I retrace the road from the previous evening with my eyes glued to the asphalt.

With the hope of seeing my little earring shine.

A simple butterfly with wings studded with aquamarines.

Blue like his eyes.

That's enough.

I need to stop.

I arrive at the bar more disconsolate than ever.

I ask Jhon if he has seen it by chance but he replies in the negative.

But soon after he notices that I'm quite upset so he promises me that he would keep his eyes open and that he would ask the cleaning company if they noticed anything during their shift.

"Thanks Jhon.It would mean a lot to me"

"It's ok Lily, don't worry" he replies.

He may seem like a gruff and crazy type but he is absolutely not like that.

The classic appearance deceives.

6 feet tall, weighing almost 100kg, with both arms totally tattooed and long red hair.

I cannot deny that at first glance he incurs a certain fear.

But if you get to know him well he is a good and kind man.

Dedicated to his work and family.

His wife Mary and the twins Cassidy and Kayla.

I start with my job and fortunately it is Monday.

This means it will be a calm morning.

Just a few regular customers.

So I get lost in my thoughts.

Tonight's dream was incredible.

Starting with how Steve saved me from those three men to how he looked at me once we got to his house.

How he lingered on my wet blouse.

I remember having to squeeze my legs together, looking for a relief that would never come.

Not by his hand at least.

And the work shift passes like this, between memories and worries.

At the end of the shift, my head is full of too many images that only destabilize me more and more.

Mostly they are thoughts that portray me and Steve possibly naked.

And then still too many thoughts.

Too many questions.

No answers.

I run home.

After spending all day fantasizing about what might have happened if I didn't break the kiss.

I can't wait to take a cold shower and go to sleep.

I lie down on the bed still wet from the shower, wrapped in my soft bathrobe.

My mind now flies.

I go back to imagining Steve's tongue that sweet but firm enters my mouth.

My mouth that responds immediately by moving following his pace.

His hands move from my face to caress my breasts through the fabric of the t-shirts.

My hands that go down to the bottom hem of his shirt and then slip them underneath.

My hands touching defined and tense muscles due to increasing excitement.

A moan leaves my lips as his mouth descends on my jaw and then leaves a trail of fire along my neck.

I feel his tongue lick the portion of skin between the neck and the collarbone.

Then go up to the ear, then bite it and whisper "Will you be a goodgirl for me tonight?"

I moan even louder.

And I also moan in my reality.

I remove the edges of the bathrobe and begin to caress the inside of my thigh with the tips of my fingers.

Slowly I touch along my fold, already hot and wet.

I do up and down with my finger.

I bite my lip.

I guess Steve is doing it.

His fingers.

Carefully I push a finger into my hot fold.

I shiver.

I begin to move it slowly, in and out.

Steve's eyes the only thing I see in front of me.

I insert a second finger and arch my back.

The bathrobe slips uncovering a breast, I grab it with my free hand and tickle the nipple.

Then I drop the hand until with the tips of my fingers I touch the clit.

I caress it and then pinch it.

I instinctively spread my legs even more.

Then I start massaging it, drawing circles with my fingertips while the other hand works from the inside.

Tapping every possible point until I find the right one.

I imagine Steve's face focused on giving me pleasure.

His eyes full of lust as he licks his fingers imbued with my sex moisture in a slow and excruciating way.

An orgasm overwhelms me.

Unexpectedly strong.

I try to catch my breath.

I turn on my side.

I don't believe what I just did.

At this rate, I will never get out of this situation.

And I honestly don't even know if I want to.

Satisfied, I fall asleep with a hint of a smile on my lips.

This time it is broad daylight and I am directly in front of Steve's apartment.

Perhaps with practice I am beginning to manage the situation better.

I knock.

I knock again but I don't get an answer.

Maybe he's at work.

But where exactly does a super hero work?

Does he have a secret place?

A cave?

Like Batman maybe?

These absurd thoughts of mine are interrupted by a deep male voice behind me.

"Erm... sorry?Who are you?" he questions me.

I observe him.

Eyes blue as the dusk sky.

Unkempt beard and wild black locks of hair fall softly on his neck.

He has a black metal hand with gold veins.

"You are Bucky, right?"

It's him, Steve's best friend.

For a moment I can see confusion and surprise in his eyes.

The next moment he realizes.

His eyes harden.

I think he doesn't like me at all.

"You must be Lily.Then you really exist..."

If only he knew the truth...

"Petite and brunette.Now I understand why Steve has lost his mind" Bucky murmurs thoughtfully.

"Ok, this is groos"

I tell him blushing both for what he said and for the thought that I could be Steve's ideal woman.

"You shouldn't be his best friend?" I accuse him with an amused note in my voice.

His arrogance make me want to bother him.

"You know what?" he tells me getting closer and closer.

"You can also have a nice face and use your long eyelashes to charm others.To charm Steve.But it doesn't work with me, doll"

Now we are face to face.

He is also very tall, not as tall as Steve, but I am still forced to tilt my head back to be able to look him in the eye.

For a moment we stare into each other's eyes.

I would like to run away but I won't be intimidated by him.

He notices my change of attitude, he knows that I am challenging him.

And he accepts the challenge.

Ok this hurts.

"Steve is my best friend and I will never let a girl take advantage of him.Of his goodness, of his big heart" he exclaims harshly, "Especially from a girl who doesn't even deign to give him an explanation for his constant escapes.First from the bar, then from his house"

But I soften my gaze.

The way he loves Steve shines through his every word and I can't hate him for that.

The way he loves him is pure.

I'm glad they are friends.

Yes ,I hurt Steve with my behavior, I know.

There is only one solution and I am here for that very reason.

I'm on the verge of tears now.

"It's not what looks like, Bucky.It's something more...complicated..." I croak in a faint voice, "I would never hurt him intentionally!You have to believe me!"

He realizes it and seems to want to tell me something but I lose focus when I see Steve coming behind him.

But he's not alone, with him there is a beautiful woman.

Shit.

My gaze falls on my shoes.

Unable to look at him.

Bucky notices my reaction and softens his gaze.

There is a moment of awkward silence.

In my ears only the sound of my heartbeat and the echo of Bucky's words.

He is right I have to let him go.

The first to break the silence is the girl in the company of Steve.

Her crystalline voice make me look up at her.

"Ok Steve see you soon.Hi Bucky!"

"And hello to you too" she says, turning in my direction.

I observe her.

She is tall and thin.

Blond hair that falls in soft waves on her back, hazel eyes flecked with green.

The perfect woman for a man like Steve.

She is everything I'm not.

I answer her with a hint of a shy smile.

Then I immediately bring my gaze back down.

I feel uncomfortable.

Out of place.

I hear Steve and Bucky greets her and then I can feel Steve's footsteps approaching me.

His shoes appear in my field of vision.

I feel his hand slipping through my hair, then gently grasping my neck and with a light pressure of the fingers he makes me tilt my head to the side.

I look up and meet his wonderful eyes.

He leans over me and leaves a very sweet kiss on my lips.

He takes my breath away.

I don't expected such a gesture.

Moreover in front of Bucky who is now looking at me with an indecipherable look.

"What are you doing here?Is everything okay?I didn't know you would come here or I would be back sooner.Have you been waiting a long time?"

Steve fills me with questions without even giving me time to answer.

My gaze moves back and forth between Steve and Bucky.

But I can't hold on for long.

I look down again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Steve raise his other hand and then the sound of a snap.

I immediately look up and see Bucky rubbing the back of his neck cursing between his teeth.

"What did you tell her?Did you scare her?"

"No, I...we were just having a chat" Bucky stammers.

Steve holds me close to him and whispers "Forget him, he's just an old grumpy"

My instinct tells me to stick my tongue out but I don't want to be childish.

I look Bucky straight in the eyes, wrapped in Steve's arm.

So I just stare at Bucky with a raised eyebrow.

He rolls his eyes.

Steve and I walk into his apartment.

Bucky refuses, he says that Sam is waiting for him for a beer.

"I wanted to ask you to join us but surely you have better things to do now" so saying Bucky winks at me.

I blush violently and he walks away laughing.

Son of bitch!

"Forgive him.Sometimes he's worse than a kid" Steve tells me, smiling and gesturing for me to follow him to the sofa.

I sit next to him but keeping a certain distance.

Which does not go unnoticed by him.

"Steve it's ok.Bucky has nothing to do with it.He didn't tell me anything.We were just talking when you have arrived"

"What happens?" his voice veiled with concern, "Did Bucky say something to you?Because whatever it is..."

When you arrived with her.

I would like to add but I bite my tongue.

It wouldn't make sense to set up a scene.

He looks at me intently.

"So what's bothering you, honey?"

"Please don't call me that!"

I feel myself on the verge of tears.

I can't handle it anymore.

I jump on my feet and go to the door.

"Maybe it's better that I go.I made a mistake.I shouldn't be here"

I shouldn't be here, how much truth and how much pain in a handful of words.

Before even reaching the doorknob, his strong hand closes around my wrist.

"Please don't go.Talk to me" he begs me.

I narrow my eyes.

One tear escape.

"Whatever it is we will solve it together.You and me.Come with me, let's go for a walk.If after talking I still have not convinced you I will let you go.I promise you"

I nod, I can't deny it.

Outside the sun begins to go down.

We set out and observing the road I think I understand where we are headed.

We are heading to the Hudson river.

It is a small green space.

Nice and quiet.

There is a man walking with his two pitbulls.

Two girls jogging.

They slow down as soon as they see Steve.

They devour him with their eyes and then they giggled among themselves.

He doesn't even seem to notice them.

On the other hand, I feel invisible.

We head to a bench, positioned right in front of the river.

We remain silent for a while to enjoy the view.

The only sounds that can be heard are the lapping of the waves and the sound of ferry boats making their way up and down on the surface of the water.

Now or never.

"Maybe it's better if we don't see each other again, Steve"

This hurts as hell.

His stunned look hurts.

His is just a whisper.

"Why?Did I do something wrong?Don't...don't you like me enough?"

His conclusions are absurd.

How can he even think that?

"Yes, I seenyou.I'm seeing you, honey"

"Are you kidding, aren't you?I mean have you seen yourself?Can't you see how all women die behind you?I'm not enough" I whisper, "Did you see me?" I add almost desperately.

I smile bitterly.

"I think your type would be more of a beautiful blonde, thin, tall and self-confident.Maybe just like your beautiful neighbor.Don't you think?"

"Sharon is just a friend.Yes, we were together a long time ago but nothing important.We remained good friends and then we work together"

Perfect.

His sexy blonde neighbor is an ex of him.

They are also colleagues.

Life sucks.

"Are you by any chance...jealous?"

A crooked smile appears on Steve's lips.

"Shut up, Steve!Don't be stupid"

"You know I swore..."

"Steve please, you don't help me!"

"Don't help you with what, Lily?" Steve explodes.

The anger in his voice.

His words are like a slap.

Steve POV

I didn't want to raise my voice.

The moment I saw her in front of my door I felt as if a thousand butterflies had taken flight in my stomach.

When I kissed her it felt so natural.

So right.

I feel like I'm home.

She's home.

And now she's telling me that she don't want to see me anymore?

I'm sorry but this time she won't go away without giving me some answers.

She gets up and leans on the railing that runs along the shore.

"I promised I would let you go but I want an explanation.I deserve it, don't you think?"

I try to be as calm as possible.

I thought we were on the same page.

How can she give it all up so easily?

"Steve..." I feel she is about to cry but I don't stop.

"Please, just tell me the truth honey"

If I insist now she will give up.

I'm sure.

I use that nickname that I found natural to call her from the start.

Like honey that stuck to my heart.

Difficult to send away.

She point her gaze into mine and I see her hesitating.

After that she sighs.

"This isn't real" she whispers.

I can't understand...

"You, this place, are only here"

And so saying she points to her forehead with a finger.

"You are just a dream, the fruit of my imagination"

I bursting out laughing, it's not a happy laugh.

"Look if you have someone else or if you are married just tell me.But please have respect for my intelligence"

She turns to the river and begins to cry.

"You know, I knew you wouldn't believe me"

"How could I?" I verbally attack her.

"Listen Steve, I know you're angry and you think I'm a crazy liar but I'm telling you the truth!Why don't you understand?I'm trying to be totally honest with you!"

Flames dance in her eyes.

She's bringing out the grit.

Then she's not all that submissive.

I take a few steps away but she whirls around and she approaches hard-nosed.

She starts talking again.

It is the longest speech that I had ever heard her give.

"In the evening I go to bed at my house, in my reality.As soon as I fall asleep, I open my eyes again here in New York.This is the first time this has happened to me.Don't you think that I didn't think that I was crazy too?That's why I shouldn't see you anymore.Because you're not real and it kills me.I can't live like this!The other times I've been with you I didn't run away.I just woke up in my reality.In my bed"

Part of me wants to believe her, after all I have fought gods, monsters and aliens.

I shouldn't be surprised that another parallel reality can exist.

The thing that worries me is that she believes that this life, my life is fake.

This means that she may not know who she is or where she comes from.

Pure imagination.

Just a dream.

I see her legs trembling, she is trying to go back to lean on the railing.

She is white as a ghost.

"Are you okay, honey?Do you want me to call for help?"

"No, it's okay.I'm just waking up on the other side"

I feel her start sobbing, her small and delicate hands go up my arms to hook behind my neck.

She is crying now.

My hands close behind her back, on her hips.

"I'm sorry Steve.I swear I would have spent my life with you if it had been possible."

It's not like that.

This is the real world.

I absolutely have to know where she comes from.

I have to be able to look for her.

She is real.

I can feel her here hugging me.

I feel her warm body, her heart beating madly.

I feel her tears wet my shirt.

How can this not be real?

She lifts her head.

Yet she continues to be the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever landed on.

Her eyes are red and puffy, the tip of her nose all red.

She gets up on tiptoe and kisses me.

At first softly then all of a sudden with urgency.

The same urgency that I feel.

Our tongues touch and I lose my reason.

It's a kiss of teeth and tongues.

We devour each other's lips.

It is passionate and violent.

Full of unspoken words.

She bites my lower lip and then sucks it, I moaning desperately in her mouth.

It is again she who breaks away first.

Now her lips are swollen and red too.

And again.

She gives me another sweet kiss and taking my cheeks in her palms she kisses me again.

Slightly.

Gently.

Our lips barely touch.

Like sweet caresses.

She rests her forehead on mine.

We remain still, lost in our painful silence.

"Goodbye Steve.I'll never forget you"

In a fit of desperation I grab her hands by her wrists and kiss her palm.

Then every single finger.

"I'll find you, Lily.Should it take my whole life I'll find you"

I kiss her again.

"I promise"

She smiles at me sadly and in doing so a slight blue glow envelops her and she disappears.

My arms are empty now.

They fall without force along my body.

Where she used to be, now there is nothing.

My chest hurts.

It is as if no matter how deeply I breathe I continually feel that I am suffocating.

So is this really the truth?

Will I really never see her again?

I look up to the sky.

"I'll find you, honey.I'll find you.That's a promise"

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nepohtism · 2 years ago

Photo

“ what’s up , my name is knoxville oakley and this is the ‘ wired autocomplete interview . ’ ”

𝒘𝒉𝒐 …

who is knoxville oakley ?

“ that would ultimately be me , i guess ? though my friends do call me knox . so just call me knox the next time you see me , okay ? other than that cheesy line , i am an actor i guess ? ”

who is knoxville oakley related to ?

“ you either know me as my mothers only son , who is none other than the famous actress ava ashmore . or my sisters younger brother , alexee oakley , who is also an upcoming actress . oh , and then i guess there’s also my dad , but he’s just some boring old high ranked business man that i doubt you’ve ever heard of . sorry not sorry dad . ”

who is knoxville oakley favorite marvel superhero ?

“ growing up , it was always spiderman . so being able to play him is literally a dream come true . i believe to this day it still is because this kid has been through so much shit yet he still continues to stay humble and wants to save everybody , even the bad guys . spoiler alert ! ”

who is knoxville oakley dating ?

“ that would be my beautiful and insanely talented girlfriend , larissa macedo . she’s so kick ass dude , like i genuinely mean it . she could kick my ass and i would thank her . that’s how amazing she is . ”

𝒊𝒔 …

is knoxville oakley playing peter parker ?

“ that i am ! though by now i’m sure most know that answer ? i’m gonna guess this was a frequently asked question when the new spiderman movie got announced . ”

is knoxville oakley from new york ?

“ i am not , hence the accent . i’m actually from london , lived there most of my childhood and teen years until my father’s time in the military came to a final halt and we moved back to the states . after relocating to the states though , new york has been my home . as well as hollywood . ”

is knoxville oakley currently shooting in la ?

“ i am ! 9-1-1 got picked up for another new season so expect to see your favorite buckley and oakley sibling on your screen once again in the fall ! ”

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 …

what is knoxville oakley like in real life ?

” i get compared to a golden retriever puppy a lot ? i guess at times i just have too high of energy or seem a little too happy to people . which is bonkers by the way . how can somebody be too happy , yanno ? ”

what color are knoxville oakley’s eyes ?

“ blue , but not like that piercing blue , yanno which ones i’m talking about ? yeah nah , mine or more like ocean blue maybe ? definitely not sky blue . ”

what is knoxville oakley’s zodiac sign ?

” you know i surprisingly know this one , mainly because an ex of mine was like crazy into the whole zodiac thing . i am a cancer , and we are known to be generous , loyal , and empathetic . ”

what does knoxville oakley’s tattoo say ?

” i’d have to counter this with which one , for i have 17 . but i’m gonna assume it’s the one on my arm that everybody can see which says . ‘�� i saw the angel in the marble and carved until i set him free . ’ it’s from michelangelo . ”

𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 …

does knoxville oakley do yoga ?

“ i actually do yoga about 4-5 times a week after my heavy workouts . helps soothe the mind and body back down . i could probably be better at it though so if anybody wants to teach me more moves then hit me up . ”

does knoxville oakley have a pet ?

“ i do ! i actually have a cat and a dog that�� go together perfectly , but i also have a horse as well . i just don’t get to see her much unless i’m detoxing from city life . she’s well taken care of though , we facetime everyday . ”

does knoxville oakley dance professionally ?

“ if tik tok dances count as professionally then sure . haha , but no . but i mean maybe i could if dancing with the stars would reach out . that would be fun , right ?? ”

does knoxville oakley have a child ?

“ not that i know of ??? now you guys have me questioning whether i should reach out to some of my exes to make sure . ”

does knoxville oakley have instagram ?

“ hell yeah i do , it’s @knoxoakley . send me a message after you watched this and i’ll message you back , might even follow back . who knows , haha . ”

𝒅𝒊𝒅 …

did knoxville oakley date juno choi ?

“ oh god no . no offense or anything , alright juju ? we’ve just known each other since childhood basically and honestly , she probably knows me more than i know myself at times . that’s my best friend right there . ride or die , baby . ”

did knoxville oakley ever delete their social media ?

“ no i did not ! many people believed i did but lari actually invited me to go with her to one of her sights and what was supposed to be just a day there and back actually turned into us spending well over two weeks there just because it was so beautiful and we needed a break away from the city . but with it only originally being a day there , i didn’t bring a charger for my phone . it was a nice break away though . ”

did knoxville oakley have a fight in public ?

“ only with my dear ole dad , i guess . wouldn’t call it a fight . no fists were swung or anything . it was more of an argument if i do say so myself . ”

AND WE’RE DONE .

“ thank you guys for watching and for searching , i’m honestly quite impressed on how interested you guys are in my life . thank you so much ! ”

#NEPOFM.TASK001 #“ ₀₂ . ╱ 𝐼𝑁 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑇𝐸𝑅 : task .

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loverbot-9000 · 2 years ago

Text

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄'𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓

Name: Spinoff of Luna 2

Alias: Satoshi Okamura (human alias), Spins

Gender: Non-binary, uses they/them but doesn’t mind it/it’s

Age: 3.2 million years (mentally early 30s)

Species: Cybertronian

Zodiac: aquarius / aries / cancer / capricorn / gemini / leo / libra / pisces / sagittarius / scorpio / taurus / virgo / unknown

Abilities / Talents: Fast typing speed, knowledge in psychology, fast running speed, acting, mechanics, basic first aid

Alignment: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

Religion: They believe in the Primes, and not much else.

Sins: envy / greed / gluttony / lust / pride / sloth / wrath

Virtues: charity / chastity / diligence / humility / justice / kindness / patience

Languages: Cybertronian, English, Japanese, attempting to learn like 10 others

Family: Cobalt (sister), Nightlight (daughter, parent AU only)

Friends: Various Decepticons, though this depends on the verse.

Sexual Orientation: heterosexual / bisexual / pansexual / homosexual / demisexual / asexual / unsure / questioning / other

Relationship Status: single / dating / married / widowed / open relationship / other (depends on verse)

Libido: sex god / very high / high / average / low / very low / non-existent

Build: twig / bony / slender / average / athletic / curvy / chubby / obese

Hair: white / blonde / brunette / red / black (holoform) / other

Eyes: brown / blue / green / black / other (yellow)

Skin: pale / fair (holoform) / olive / light brown / brown / very brown / black / other (grey)

Height: under 3 foot / 3-4 foot / 4-5 foot / 5-6 foot (5’8, holoform) / 6-7 foot / above 7 foot (25’)

Weight: under 100 pounds / 100-150 pounds (holoform) / 150-200 pounds / 200-250 pounds / above 250 pounds

Scars: “J.W” carved into the inner part of their wings, buffed out almost thousands of times but still noticeable, at least to them. Scratches around their neck, approximately where the voice box is located (they’ve buffed these, but they can never stop scratching).

Facial Features: Sharp, angular fears with somewhat small yellow optics. Shallow lines are engraved from the bottom of their optics down to their jaw, similar to tear lines.

Tattoos: None, but they draw on their servos sometimes if they’re bored and have the time.

Dogs or Cats?

Birds or Hamsters?

Red or Blue?

Yellow or Green?

Black or White?

Coffee or Tea?

Ice Cream or Cake?

Fruits or Vegetables?

Sandwich or Soup?

Magic or Melee?

Sword or Bow?

Summer or Winter?

Spring or Autumn?

The Past or The Future?

tagged by: @13urningstars

tagging: whoever wants to!

#「 what about me? || dash games 」

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alyjojo · 2 years ago

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March 👵🏻 2023 Monthly - Aries

Whole of your energy: 7 Wands

You’re defensive at someone because they allowed the connection to die, or you blame them for it anyway. Two Queens are here, they may be your lover, or this was a competitive energy regarding a lover. You liked the same person? Other people got involved? You probably would’ve fought to keep the connection, or want to currently, while they’re happy to just let it go it looks like. That feels like a huge betrayal to you, if they didn’t actually betray you in the first place, which they may have. This could also be anyone at all that doesn’t “like” your lover, or vice versa.

What’s going on in March:

Queen of Cups:

This is who you’re disconnected from, could be a Cancer. Genders may be swapped any direction it doesn’t matter, but this is someone that’s a friend to everyone, they’re generally very kind and forgiving of the faults of others. Nurturing. Mothering even. This person is emotionally fine, victorious even, patient and balanced in their own world, focused on their finances and the opportunities before them. The angst seems to be with you, because you’re not in their world right now, so HOW are you just okay?!

6 Wands:

There has been a heartbreaking situation between you two, probably involving friends. Or an event, a holiday, etc. Or you could be trying to overcome past heartbreak and become more friendly with each other again. You seem to miss them being around, and possibly feel whatever caused this hurtful situation was not as big as they’re making it out to be. They seem to be the hurt ones, so they’re blaming you too. Meanwhile you’re over here having no clue why or what you did to deserve this, “they’re overreacting” and “this is silly”. I mean that’s…Aries. Any water sign is not likely to brush off hurt, especially if they’re feeling invalidated or brushed...off. It’s not their thing. That seems to be the issue. They’re rising above all of this, alone, which makes you angry & defensive.

4 Swords:

There’s silence between you, which again, that’s how water energy tends to work. They’re not going to argue with you, not going to compete with you. “You know what you did” energy. Hmph. And they’re not opening the door to hear any excuses and defensive behavior behavior either, it’s just silence, they have to heal now. Your Oracle says this is out of your control, and it definitely feels that way. You’re being shunned, and it’s driving you crazy, so they definitely know you well.

9 Wands rev:

You want to get past these battles and bullshit with this person, but they won’t give you the time of day, you’re not being heard, and so you’re understandably frustrated on that end as well. This other person just gave up and went into silence. You can’t get it off of your mind or let it go. Which is what you’re being told to do. You can try of course but there is a level of harassment that’s a fine line and if this person doesn’t want to hear it, that’s their choice. You can’t set the burden down and walk away, fix the problem, like you want, let’s just get over this. They’re like no, *block*, or the equivalent in some way.

Queen of Wands:

This is your own fiery & confident energy, wanting to take the first step, willing to dive in and deal with issues, wipe the slate clean. Your person seems to think the slate was carved in stone, there is no wiping it clean. You two are very different, and if the signs ring true, squared for a reason. You don’t seem to understand this person at all, or their feelings, and their side is more like…”that’s the whole point”. Because of their vibe, and having pulled Righteous Raspberry, Spirit seems to be leaning towards a message of accountability. You can’t wipe a slate clean without addressing it, and forgetting it & just moving on are not addressing it. They don’t seem to have any faith in what you have to say, that’s why they won’t even give you a chance. Give it a rest, maybe change your tactics. Dive deep with it.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Cancer & Gemini

Oracles: ✨

“Pick one thing beyond your control, and let it go. Just like that.”

10 Burden 🫠

Many times we take on the stress of those we love and care for. We see it as the ultimate sacrifice. We take on others’ burden to save them the trouble or heartache. Ironically, the way energy and the universe work makes this a very counterproductive way of operating. When we take on the burdens of others, we deny them the ability to learn and grow from their own lessons. We also interfere with divine planning and timing. Never one to be thwarted - any lessons circumvented will absolutely reappear - sometimes with much more force than what was originally intended.

Ask yourself if you or another is taking on troubles and lessons not belonging to them out of a need to be needed. This stems from the fear that you (or they) are fundamentally not enough. This is not true, you are created perfect. Your fears and doubts keep you separated from this truth. This is the separation one can feel from Spirit. Once you accept and believe you are perfect and worthy, the tendency to make yourself invaluable to others through your help and assistance will go away. Your relationships can then be based on truth and not manipulation.

We enter into March as:

Righteous Raspberry 💅🏽:

“I have the same high standards for myself as I do for others.”

This is a message to lighten up! Notice your present attitude towards others. Perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself, and others as well. Allow others to be as they are. Supporting others around you creates allies. Watch your expectations, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment. You cannot be satisfied if you expect others to live up to standards you can’t even live up to. Besides, others are not you. Do it wrong, mess it up, have flaws. Trying to make the world perfect will only exhaust and alienate. Allow things to simple be. Look for what’s right in your world.

What is to be learned in March:

Blue November 🕊

“ A window is opened as a door gently closes.”

The passing of things in our lives is inevitable. Jobs, people, friendships, or relationships. This card is a message that whatever is going on requires a release on your part. There is no healthy escape from your own feelings. This card is a reminder that what is taken away is replaced with something else, in some form, eventually. You may not even be aware of the loss, but others around you are feeling it, in some cases. This could represent some unexpected news. You must be grateful for what you have. A coming celebration will pull you through whatever is coming. Do not be afraid that you are avoiding your feelings by celebrating. Your feelings will surface, and resurface, when they’re supposed to. Whatever is pending that you must face will not be as frightening as it is in your mind.

Blue may be a lucky color 💙

#aries tarot reading #monthly reading #March 2023 #Aries #tarot #astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astroblr #tarotblr

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