#also automatic car mention so me coded

[tuituipupu]

traffic gonna be my 2024 vroom vroom charli xcx

[writing-whump]

Where's Sel

Seline stood in front of the hospital entrance, pulling her meager sweater closer to her body. The days were hot, but early mornings were getting colder as autumn approached.

Plus she didn't exactly prepare to stay the night at the hospital because her boyfriend had a sudden heart attack.

She needed to keep her head cool and get some things for them. Isaiah could use his clothes or at least familiar things that would bring him comfort. And she and Matt needed a phone charger and something to eat that wasn't just cheap automat coffee and biscuits.

Matthew drove them to the hospital in Isaiah's car, but the thought of having to drive herself through the tricky Vienna streets with each crossroad unique and complicated with over five different lines for four different vehicles made her want to cry.

She was just about to order a Bolt to their place when her phone died on her.

Her eyes were prickling and her throat closed up. Even from that. So much to her resistance.

Worst thing was that Isaiah could wake up any hour now and she might not make it back.

She swallowed back her discomfort at having to ask someone for help, approaching a young woman smoking at the entrance if she could make a quick call.

Dylan took it on fifth ring, groggy from sleep. "Huh? What do you want at this ungodly hour?"

Seline bit her tongue at his annoyed tone. "Hey. Sorry to wake you up...do you think you could do something for me?" Maybe that was not a good way to start.

"Like what? You know, you should really give me your apartment keys. We don't have any flour and when you just disappear on a trip out of nowhere-"

"We are not on a trip," she said sharply, her voice breaking at the end. She took a deep breath, sniffling.

Something about that noise made him more alert, she could hear shuffling as he straightened on the bed. "Wait. What's going on? Where are you?"

"At the hospital." She had to look up at the murky sky, fighting the new onslaught of tears.

"Sorry—what?!" He was definitly walking now, bare feet slapping against the floor. "Why would you- what did you- are you-...?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's a pack thing."

"So Matthew? Or Isaiah?"

"Could you not mention the names over the phone? Be discreet," she admonished. "Anyway, I need a charger and...I know you don't have the keys, but you are good at unlocking...with your shadow, right? Could you break in and take some things for Z, my charger and-"

"Good at unlocking," he growled, but she knew he was. When he came home late he tried to sneak in through the door with his shadow, which was a fine skill to be trained. Not that it ever worked on their mother, who never went to sleep before he was home. "Yes, of course. I can be there in a few." His voice softened. "Do you want anything else? Something to eat maybe?"

"No, it's fine. Could you also take a jacket for me, the jeans one I have in the entry hall..."

"Sure thing. I'll be right there." He hesitated. "So something with I.W.?"

She rolled her eyes at his failure with codes. "Bye, Dylan."

...

"You look horrible," Dylan said when he met up with her by the gates to the hospital. "And you owe me for the taxi."

Seline rolled her eyes, but she was still glad to see him. "Yeah, yeah. I get my phone charged, I'll pay you back."

Dylan offered her a backpack filled with stuff than changed his mind and swung it back around his shoulder. "Alright, you need a break. What if we took Isaiah's car, I know it's missing—that's why I thought there was a trip—and I'll drive you home? You could have a shower, some sleep and then you and Matt could switch."

"It's fine, D." She shook her head, reluctance and regret on her face immediately. Dylan hadn't lived with her for over two years, but he could still read his sister's mind, thanks.

"What about breakfast? There is a McDonald's around the corner. Some proper food and good coffee will get you back on your feet."

Not that Mcdonald was all that healthy, but it was greasy and heavy and he wanted that daunt look from his sister's face. Her skin was almost translucent in the morning light, like she was disappearing where she stood.

When she didn't say no immediately, he grabbed her around the shoulders, leading her down the sidewalk. "Come on. Breathe in some fresh air, eat, and you can go back to saving the world, kay?"

"I don't know..." but she wasn't protesting, even if she turned back to stare longingly at the hospital.

Dylan brought her inside quickly enough, ordering her her favorite wrap and a big coke and coffee for good measure. Seline added another wrap and fries to take with her for Matt, before allowing him to sit her down and wait for her order.

She was uncharacteristically quiete. Dylan didn't know her like this, lips pressed together, downcast eyes, unnerved and tired at the same time.

"It really is no big deal. I can drive you home in 15 minutes. If I get you back in 2 hours after a nap, nothing will happen. Matt would understand."

Matthew had a shadow for fuck's sake, he could take some difficulty. If he didn't, Dylan was glad to explain. Surely he wasn't wrong to be biased in Seline's favour in this.

Seline said nothing, eating obediently when he reminded her.

"Sel? You want me to call mom and dad?"

That had her finally looking up at him, frowning in confusion.

"I'm sure they would love to be here if it helped." Dylan didn't currently feel like he was managing much. Their mom would know what to do.

"Nah, it's fine." She took another tiny bite of the wrap, eyes going back to study the table like it had something written there. "I messaged her about this, but there is not much they can do."

"They have contacts with doctors-"

"In Slovakia and Germany, not in Austria. And this hospital is very good, used to wolves and everything. Austria medical quality. It's better he is here."

Dylan nibbled at his bottom lip in concern. Sitting across from her suddenly felt too far away. He got up, pushing the take out bag for Matt and the tray away to sit down next to her.

Back at home when he was younger, they used to be very touchy feely with each other. 6 years old between them meant he was basically her toy. She carried him around, snuggled with him, taught him, did whatever she wanted.

Until he hit puberty, his shadow got all itchy with unbearable energy and he found it emberassing to still hug is big sister. Witch or not, it felt too personal. And he liked to tease her about how much she still liked it, used to it all their life.

"You are always gonna be my little brother," she told him when he officially towered two heads over her.

They had their fair share of arguments and mouse-frog wars closely before she left. To be fair, he got into screaming matches with his parents at that time too, feeling stiffled and restrained by their protectivness and rules.

The gym helped. And boxing. And finding other pups to spar with and social life with his peers and playing around with girls and boys and whoever he met.

Once he got out of that heated hyped up phase, his sister was safely away. Offended by millions little things he apparently did wrong, neglected, overreacted for or scared her with, while getting used to his new strength. Maybe even showing it off too much.

Dylan was stronger than their parents. He was the only one in the family with a shadow. If he didn't want to do something no one could make him.

Except cutting him off money, yeah. Otherwise he was totally independent.

He had realized it a bit too late, all the things he did wrong. Some he was still finding out. But this, he could still do.

Shuffling closer, he bumped her shoulder gently. When she didn't react, but also didn't pull away, he slid closer. "Come here."

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders was the most natural thing of his life. Weirdest one of the recent years, his tough persona, his silly pack jealousies.

But it felt right to his shadow.

Seline stiffened in his hold, which had fear stinging his chest...except he noticed that her chin was shaking and she was crying, right there at the greasy McDonald table.

He tightened his hold and she buried her face in his shoulder. Not making much noise.

Dylan wasn't sure if this was normal with the shock or if this was something more. The idea someone could have hurt her, made her like this had him flexing his jaw with anger.

But if holding her while she cried was what she needed right now, then that was what he was gonna do.

[the-whispers-of-death]

A little something for the soulmate AU. This was supposed to be finished a while ago, but I only just now got the motivation to finish. But yay for me getting in practice with writing Kali and Stone's actual names when writing.

@jupiter-reimagined here is my contribution to the soulmate AU.

TW: Brief Mention of Child Abuse

Wordcount: 1,587 words

Ashok was just exiting the gym when his beeper beeped in his back pocket. Knowing it was most likely Vikram, he pulled out the beeper and he saw just a message with the coordinates of the house the military rented for Vikram while he was on deployment.

He knew without needing more context that his friend wanted him to come and probably needed to talk. And while most people would be annoyed by being called upon for seemingly no reason, Ashok knew he was basically Vikram's only friend and he knew that Vikram cared about him just as much as he cared about Vikram.

So he quickly sent the code they had previously established many years ago which would be decoded to basically say that he was on his way. After the code sent, he put the beeper back in his pocket and exited the gym, heading to his car.

Thankfully, the gym Ashok goes to wasn't far from the military housing where Vikram is (and thankfully Ashok lives in that same area too since he too is on deployment), so it didn't take him too long to arrive. Soon, he parked his car in the driveway and got out.

He waved to a neighbor of Vikram's before walking onto the porch and knocking on the door in the special knock Vikram had give him in order to know it was Ashok: four knocks in quick succession followed by a lone knock two seconds after the four knocks. He stood there, waiting for Vikram to open the door.

The multiple locks Vikram had personally put on the door were unlocked, Ashok seeing Vikram's brown eye peeking through the little crack he opened before seeing it was indeed Ashok and opening the door fully. Ashok stepped inside, taking off his shoes and putting them near the door automatically.

Vikram's house was sparse, filled with only the furniture that the military furnished their houses with. There were no personal touches to the place besides Vikram's medical bag on the counter in the kitchen and spices on another counter in the kitchen.

There was minimalism and then there was Vikram, but it wasn't his fault. Ashok knew full well that Vikram's father was a bastard who raised Vikram to only be a soldier and to Vikram's father, soldiers didn't need personal things.

Though, Ashok also knew there was a journal hidden somewhere, or maybe Vikram kept that in his office in the base hospital where he was stationed.

"I thought you were starting to put more personal touches on your house?" Ashok asked after looking around, his eyes going to look at his friend.

Vikram was taller than Ashok at six-foot-eight (whereas Ashok was at six-foot-six) and he had many scars that marred him head to toe, a symbol of how little Vikram thought of himself as he had gotten most of the scars from diving in front of others to take what would've been their injuries. He looked the same as always at first glance, until Ashok saw Vikram's arm was bandaged.

Another scar to add to the collection, Ashok thought, his heart hurting at the sight of Vikram's bandaged arm.

Ashok didn't have any time to comment on the bandaged arm, however, as Vikram moved to the kitchen while he answered Ashok's question.

"I am putting more personal touches on my house," Vikram said, his deep voice that was usually cold and harsh softening just a little bit due to being in the presence of his friend. He grabbed a glass and gave Ashok some water. "But this is not my house, it's just the house the military rented for me. I'll never see this place again when my deployment is over. No point in adding any personal touches."

Classic Vikram, honestly. He never settled down when he was on deployment, he barely unpacked his clothes whenever he got to somewhere new. They always stayed in his bag, folded neatly.

Ashok took the offered glass, nodding in appreciation. "At least you're trying to put more of your own style in the house in the States," he replied, pride in his voice. "I'm proud of you."

Like he expected the taller man to do, Vikram shifted slightly on his feet, the only hint of surprise he showed at hearing the words "I'm proud of you." He wasn't used to hearing such things, which was why Ashok tried to tell Vikram that as much as possible.

Vikram grunted in response, looking away from Ashok briefly. "That's not what I called you here for though." His words reminded Ashok that he wasn't here solely for a social visit.

"You didn't really call me, you beeped me." he teased, a grin forming on his face as he saw Vikram roll his eyes. He sat down at the dining table, becoming serious again. "Okay, sit. Tell me what you need to talk to me about, I'm all ears, Vik."

"I want to ask Sylvester out," Vikram answered as soon as he sat down. His posture was rigid as always, but he seemed nervous at the prospect of asking someone out, the slightest tremor in his hands before he steadied them as they rested on the table.

Sylvester was Vikram's soulmate, a single father of two that he had met while grocery shopping and who lived in the very same city the base Vikram was stationed at was at the edge of. He was older than Vikram and Ashok, but that didn't stop Vikram from loving that man as soon as he laid eyes on Sylvester.

Ashok chuckled, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "Oh, you're finally going to ask him out, huh?" he asked, amused at Vikram's nervousness. "I thought you were going to just hold in the love you feel for him and never ask him out."

Of course Vikram was nervous, he had never been on a date, had never even let himself fall in love with someone before Sylvester. He knew basically nothing, or at the least very little, about dating. He had always been too busy being the "perfect" soldier.

Vikram had missed out on so much in his younger years, but it was better late than never.

Vikram glared at Ashok, kicking the shorter man under the table, and not gently at that. "Are you going to help me or not?" he asked, unamused. His eyes grew distant for a brief second, thinking before coming back to reality.

"Do you think I should write a letter asking Sylvester out?"

"No!" Ashok blurted out before he think to say it a bit nicer. He shook his head, calming down enough to lower his voice. "No, Vik. This is a serious matter and you wouldn't want your letter to get lost. You need to call him, it's much better, trust me."

They both got up, Ashok gently leading Vikram to the landline the house had. He was tempted to give Vikram his phone to call, but he knew Stone didn't like holding smartphones, even if a smartphone was the work phone the military gave them.

"Be sincere and make it clear that it's a date you're asking him out on," Ashok advised as Vikram picked up the landline phone and started dialing. "You know what type of a date you want to go on with him?"

Vikram nodded and lifted the phone to his ear, hearing it ring.

Ashok knew Vikram's heart was beating rapidly in his chest, nervous to be speaking to the man he thought about constantly. He could tell because the taller man was starting to glance all around the living room, too nervous to look at one single thing.

Vikram cleared his throat before speaking. "Hello, Sylvester? This is Vikram, I'm calling on my landline," he said, Ashok noting just how calm the other man sounded.

It was almost impressive, if not for the knowledge that Vikram's stoicism was something that was literally beaten into him. Ashok longed for the day that Vikram's stoicism was something he only relied on while working, for when he absolutely needed to not show any emotion.

"Uh, no. No, it's not that," he replied, his confidence wavering. He glanced at Ashok who was nodding in encouragement for him to keep going. "I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me? Somewhere with no food, of course. Unless you want to come over for dinner."

Ashok knew the silence between Vikram's question and Sylvester's answer was secretly killing the taller man. He knew from previous conversations that Vikram was very scared of Sylvester deciding he wasn't good enough as a soulmate and leaving for someone better. It was something that haunted the taller man, made him fear getting close to most people.

Thankfully, Sylvester seemed to answer, because Ashok could see Vikram relax ever so slightly, no doubt hearing a "Yes" from his soulmate. He watched Vikram nod before he realized Sylvester couldn't see him.

Vikram looked away from Ashok, trying hard to not see the amused stare Ashok gave him. "A museum date it is. When are you free?" He walked away, walking into his bedroom for some privacy.

Ashok stayed in the living room, sitting down on the couch to wait for Vikram. As he waited, his eyes went down to his arm, looking at the compass. His eyes widened, seeing the compass needle shift just a little.

Huh, seemed like Vikram wouldn't be the only one who'd meet his soulmate.

Banners made b @cafekitsune

[onlyancunin]

So I've been tagged

By this lovely little soul that goes by the handle of @treshmind. And apparently I am the mutual they want to learn more about, which is a compliment I will hold dear and near.

Do you make your bed? People say your body is your temple. My temple is my bed, a direct reflection of how I'm doing. And right now literally everything is there, not to mention I technically sleep on a couch. But I get by, Imake my little space everyday to catch a few zzs.

Favourite number? Not sure if I have one. Probably not. Seven rings nice though. I always considered it to be the "proud" number, as it looks like a person with their chest forward. Much like the idle stance of everyone's favourite vampire.

What’s your job? Graphic / UX / UI Designer & Front-end developer. 10 years a designer, now venturing into IT. I love creating pretty things that touch people, so to speak, figuratively and literally. Something that hits them and/or they can interact with. Creating experiences, waving stories. I learned HTML & CSS when I was like 15, had a blog and couldn't find a nice skin for it - so I just coded my own. Javascript, typescript and vue.js came along last year and honestly, I'm having a blast. And no, pls don't look at my tumblr, I did code its appearance bit, but it's just tweaks, it doesn't say anything about my skills.

If you could go back to school would you? I would actually and it's something I'm considering. One for front-end development to give myself stronger foundation and boost of confidence, and another for foreign language. Spanish & German have my special attention there.

Can you parallel park? I'm willing to try!

Do you think aliens are real? I always have a hard time defining "aliens". I think most people's perception of what counts as "living" is limited at best and hypocritical at worst. I've heard of bacterias having a better time than some of the fully-formed, fully-conscious humans on Earth. Add humanity's general complex of seeing themselves as the most complex existence in the history and you can probably cook up my general stance on the topic. I don't think Earth is the only place there's a "life" on, but aliens understood as extraterrestrial livings, are probably not modeled after the evolutionary fart currently dominating the 3rd planet from the Sun.

Can you drive a manual car? I can, actually. My father is a car mechanic, I take these things pretty seriously, you know. Should I ever have a car, I don't think I'd go for automatic.

What’s your guilty pleasure? To be fair, all my pleasures are guilty. But as it stands now, my most guilty would be to indulge in my feelings and let myself play a game or doodle or write something while knowing there's piles of work I'm behind on.

Tattoos? One on my back between my shoulder blades, just a standard egdy barcode with my birthdate underneath. And one over my heart (or just over my left tit, let's be honest) saying "Ideas are bulletproof", but mirrored - so that I can read it when I look in the mirror.

Favourite colour? Black, red. I usually wear all black with golden accessories and absolutely seizure-inducing, colorful singular statement pieces.

Favourite types of music? Not sure what counts as "favourite" as I prefer music that makes me feel things, whatever the genre. I like the experimental, funky sound, but I also enjoy the deeply consuming sound of progressive electronic music, which help me deep-focus at work, so there's that ~. And oh, I love voices. Talented voices, singing voices, raw, honest voices. I sing a little and enjoy admiring this craft in others.

Do you like puzzles? Oh absolutely. I'm already hooked.

Any phobias? I thought I was afraid of spiders until I lived with a girl who was REALLY afraid of them and I stepped in as this chivalrous knight in shining armor charging at the beast and – So no, not really.

Favourite childhood sport? I actually participated in a lot of disciplines. I wish I gave acrobatics more time & attention. It felt so freeing and beautiful. So poetic, almost.

Do you talk to yourself? Like out loud? Not anymore, but I do have an old pal on me in my head which is eyyyyy, isn't that me?

What movies do you adore? "V for Vendetta" - about how trauma can reduce a person into a concept. In this case - a concept of vengeance. Dangerous, loveable, tragic concept I resonate with very much. This is also the movie where my tattoo quote comes from.

Where I validated my stance that you don't really need to see the other person to know and love them.

Your experiences and feelings are just as valid, even if someone misled you or you never truly met. And the masks and theatrics cannot really conceal what's truly important, so don't be afraid to just... feel.

Coffee or tea? Coffee, freshly ground & brewed, unless I have the instant kind of day, with milk. Tea - preferably Dilmah, either green or earl grey.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? Oh, an artist probably. Little did I know how difficult and anxiety-inducing it would prove.

----

No pressure tags: @herdarkestnightelegance, @thedomesticanthropologist, @nocna-orchidea

[daveg65]

311 - CarPlay is Must Have in your New Car

The latest In Touch With iOS with Dave he is joined by guest Mike Potter, Marty Jencius, and Jeff Gamet. 1Password introduces recovery codes so you’ll never lose access to your most sensitive information and we talk about password managers and is this safe to use. There was a New survey that reveals how many people consider CarPlay as a must-have in a new car and we discuss the numbers and is CarPlay important to have in your car. Final Cut Camera for iPhone now available on the App Store which could be a game changer plus Apple releases Final Cut Pro for iPad 2 alongside Final Cut Pro 10.8 for Mac/ Plus much more. 

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  Here is our latest Episode!

[thethirdromana]

I think there's a certain amount of talking past each other going on here, and the problem is in this paragraph and responses to it:

The first made the point that once it comes into full bloom AI will not just be better than humans at some jobs, it will be better than humans at all jobs. This is not a problem that is limited to “unskilled labor” or jobs that require physical strength, deep precision, or even intense calculation. Everything – art, storytelling, judging, stock trading, medicine – will be done better by a robot. We’re all expendable.

This might well be true in 100 years' time but for where we're at right now, it's misleading.

The first reason is that AI doesn't need to be better than you at all of your job to be hugely disruptive.

Picture a car factory 100 years ago, and how many people might have worked in that. And now picture a modern car factory, which produces as many cars but with a fraction of the number of people. It still needs some people for all the reasons that @saltedweather mentions, but it doesn't need as many people.

The same shift will happen with white collar jobs because of AI. Let's go back to the example of a solicitor. Sure, some of what they do requires thoughtful, nuanced responses and so on - but a lot of it doesn't. If you wrote a Will 100 years ago, the solicitor would write it out line by line. If you write a Will right now, either a solicitor will use a template and amend it as needed, or it'll be produced digitally and the solicitor will just double-check it. In 10 or 20 years' time, this will be the case for much, much more of what a solicitor does. No need to write a long and thoughtful email; just drop in bullet points and let the AI turn into something long and thoughtful. No need to carefully draft a contract; let the AI do that, and have a human check through it.

The AI doesn't need to be better than the trained solicitor at drafting contracts. The only thing that's needed for AI to be disruptive is for the combined AI draft and solicitor fixing any mistakes to be quicker than the solicitor doing it from scratch.

Most white collar jobs are like this to some extent - how much time do you spend carefully phrasing emails, booking in meetings or doing basic things in Excel? Most of that will be automatable, even if the more complex things that you might think of as your "real" job aren't.

Law also provides a helpful example of why doing the same kind of thing to AI training data as Luddites did to looms won't work any better for us than it did for the Luddites. Legal documents are very often required to be public, so they will always be accessible for training.

The result is that a 40-hour-a-week job could be done with, say, 10 or 15 hours of human labour. And one of the defining questions of the next few years will be whether we let people work 10 hours for full-time pay - or whether we have 1 person working 40 hours to do what would previously have been 4 people's jobs.

Last time automation replaced workers, it was a little bit of both - working hours have reduced globally, but not by all that much; for the most part, it's 1 person doing what would 4 people's jobs. But then, for the most part, there have been alternative (often better) jobs for people to go to. That may not be the case any more.

Which brings me on to the second reason this paragraph is misleading.

It's this bit:

This is not a problem that is limited to “unskilled labor” or jobs that require physical strength, deep precision, or even intense calculation

Advances in AI are hugely outpacing advances in robotics. The same AI can draft a decent answer to a law school essay question, write code to create a Twitter bot, or write instructions for making a candle in the style of PG Wodehouse. But we are nowhere near close to the same robot being able to make a bed, empty a bin and clean a toilet. Or look after a baby or an elderly person.

We're used to thinking of automation replacing "unskilled" jobs. But actually, it's likely that it will replace white collar jobs much faster because the automatable unskilled jobs have, for the most part, already been automated. (Skilled blue-collar jobs, like plumbers, are likely to be the best combination of safe and well-paid - but we only need so many plumbers.)

So right now I think we're standing at a fork between two possible worlds. There's the shit one, where we all still have to work as many hours as ever before, only there are a small number of people who managed to get the very competitive roles where they are, say, the one solicitor at a firm that used to employ 20 people, and are hugely well-paid (though not as well-paid as the people producing and licensing this software), and there are a huge number of people in service roles that can't be automated, working for those people for low wages because there's always someone who'll work for less.

(If you think that level of inequality isn't sustainable, I'd point out that it is being sustained, all over the world, right now. If you're living in the USA you're already experiencing a level of inequality that is far above the global average, and that has been rising steadily for the past 30 years. The dictator of Equatorial Guinea, which may be the most unequal country in the world, has been in power for 43 years. Revolution isn't easy or we'd all be doing it.)

Or there's the better world, in which those productivity gains are shared out. Where a solicitor only has to work 10 hours per week for what's currently full-time pay, and where care workers and cleaners are similarly paid well for fewer hours of work. And where people work more, wealth is redistributed to ensure everyone has a good standard of living.

And that's not impossible either! Highly productive, highly automated countries like Germany have seen working hours fall significantly over the past few decades, such that the average person in Germany today is wealthier and works fewer hours (on average 33 per week) than any of their ancestors throughout all of history, while inequality has remained stable for the past 30 years. (Which isn't to say that life in Germany is perfect or anything, in particular those working hours stats conceal some pretty significant gender inequality. This is just to demonstrate that more automation, fewer working hours and greater equality can go together).

Or I guess there could be some version where we ditch this technology, or it doesn't improve from its current level, and things stay more or less as they are? This feels wildly unlikely to me, but hey, it's not impossible.

I think getting the better outcome here requires acknowledging what's happening, and planning for it. And if we think about this in terms of "AI will be better than us at everything" or "AI can't think so this isn't something we need to worry about", we'll miss the point and these changes will speed ahead of our ability to manage them.

We Are Not Ready for AI

Two AI developments in rapid succession have me, I’ll be honest, a bit rattled.

The first development was a study where an AI player managed to perform very well in an online Diplomacy tournament. Diplomacy is a board game which prioritizes negotiation and manipulation to achieve one’s ends (so it’s not like a game like Chess, which is purely a matter of raw calculation). Leaving aside my general discomfort with “we’ve successfully trained an AI to lie and manipulate humans to achieve a goal of world domination!”, this represents a huge leap in AI’s ability to effectively use natural language and discourse in a way that I think, until recently, would have seemed beyond the realm of possibility.

The second was using OpenAI to answer short answer prompts that might be found on a law school exam. It did … decently. Not perfect, and sometimes quite wrong, but not awful either, and sometimes more or less correct. For example, here’s what it gave me when I asked “How did Twombly and Iqbal change pleading rules?”

Twombly and Iqbal changed pleading rules by raising the standard for the sufficiency of pleadings in federal civil actions. The Supreme Court held in Ashcroft v. Iqbal that “a complaint must contain sufficient factual matter, accepted as true, to state a claim to relief that is plausible on its face.” This ruling effectively raised the bar for pleadings in federal civil actions, meaning that plaintiffs must provide more detailed facts in their pleadings than they had to under the old standard. The Court also held in Bell Atlantic Corp. v. Twombly that a complaint must contain more than mere labels and legal conclusions, and must instead contain factual allegations that show that a claim is plausible. This ruling established a two-pronged standard for the sufficiency of pleadings in federal civil actions, requiring plaintiffs to provide more detailed facts in their pleadings than they had to under the old standard.

That’s not perfect, but it’s not terrible either. And since OpenAI is available to the public, I assume there are more proprietary AI models out there that can do an even better job.

My colleagues are worried about what this means for open book law school exams (students can enter the prompt and have a decent answer spat back out). But I’m not worried about having to adjust my exams (I don’t use short answer prompts anyway). I’m worried about what this means for needing human lawyers. Not quite yet, but we’re getting there.

All of this, in turn, brought to mind two articles by Kevin Drum on the issue of AI development. The first made the point that once it comes into full bloom AI will not just be better than humans at some jobs, it will be better than humans at all jobs. This is not a problem that is limited to “unskilled labor” or jobs that require physical strength, deep precision, or even intense calculation. Everything – art, storytelling, judging, stock trading, medicine – will be done better by a robot. We’re all expendable.

Article number two compared the pace of AI development to filling up Lake Michigan with water, where every 18 months you double the amount of water you can add (so first one fluid ounce, then eighteen months later two fluid ounces, then in eighteen more months four fluid ounces, and so on). Both “Lake Michigan” and “18 months” weren’t chosen at random – the former’s size in fluid ounces is roughly akin to the computing power of the human brain (measured in calculations/second), and the latter reflects Moore’s Law, the idea that computing power doubles every 18 months.

What was striking about the Lake Michigan metaphor is that, if you added water at that pace, for a long time it will look as if nothing is happening … and then all of the sudden, you’ll finish. There’s a wonderful GIF image in the article that illustrates this vividly, but the text works too. 

Suppose it’s 1940 and Lake Michigan has (somehow) been emptied. Your job is to fill it up using the following rule: To start off, you can add one fluid ounce of water to the lake bed. Eighteen months later, you can add two. In another 18 months, you can add four ounces. And so on. Obviously this is going to take a while.

By 1950, you have added around a gallon of water. But you keep soldiering on. By 1960, you have a bit more than 150 gallons. By 1970, you have 16,000 gallons, about as much as an average suburban swimming pool.

At this point it’s been 30 years, and even though 16,000 gallons is a fair amount of water, it’s nothing compared to the size of Lake Michigan. To the naked eye you’ve made no progress at all.

So let’s skip all the way ahead to 2000. Still nothing. You have—maybe—a slight sheen on the lake floor. How about 2010? You have a few inches of water here and there. This is ridiculous. It’s now been 70 years and you still don’t have enough water to float a goldfish. Surely this task is futile?

But wait. Just as you’re about to give up, things suddenly change. By 2020, you have about 40 feet of water. And by 2025 you’re done. After 70 years you had nothing. Fifteen years later, the job was finished.

If we set the start date at 1940 (when the first programmable computer was invented), we’d see virtually no material progress until 2010, but we’d be finished by 2025. It’s now 2022. We’re almost there!

That we might be in that transitional moment where “effectively no progress” gives way to “suddenly, we’re almost done” means we have to start thinking now about what to do with this information. What does it mean for the legal profession if, for most positive legal questions, an AI fed a prompt can give a better answer than most lawyers? What does it mean if it can give a better answer than all lawyers? There’s still some hope for humanity on the normative side – perhaps AI can’t make choices about value – but still, that’s a lot of jobs taken off line. And what about my job? What if an AI can give a better presentation on substantive due process than I can? That’s not just me feeling inadequate – remember article #1: AI won’t just be better than humans at some things, it will be better at all things. We’re all in the same boat here.

What does that mean for the concept of capital ownership? Once AI eclipses human capacity, do we enter an age of permanent class immobility? By definition, if AI can out-think humans, there is no way for a human to innovate or disrupt into the prevailing order. AI’s might out-think each other, but our contribution won’t be relevant anymore. If the value produced by AI remains privatized, then the prospective distribution of wealth will be entirely governed by who was fortunate enough to own the AIs.

More broadly: What does the world look like when there’s no point to any human having a job? What does that mean for resource allocation? What does that mean for our identity as a species? These questions are of course timeless, but in this particular register they also felt very science-fiction – the sorts of questions that have to be answered on Star Trek, but not in real life, because we were nowhere near that sort of society. Well, maybe now we are – and the questions have to be answered sooner rather than later.

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/KRPms7H

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0

Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker

Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation

Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^

"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."

Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.

Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.

“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.

And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.

He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.

Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.

No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.

You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.

‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’

After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?

~~~

You were wrong. So, so wrong.

Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.

You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.

And strike it does.

“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”

“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”

Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.

"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.

As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.

You think you won that mini battle, though?

Ha! Nope.

Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.

Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.

Your prayers fall on deaf ears.

"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.

The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.

"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.

Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"

Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”

"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.

“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)

"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."

Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.

By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.

“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”

“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”

Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.

Then, out of nowhere-

“I understand.”

You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.

“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”

...

“Huh?”

“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”

Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.

“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”

Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!

“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”

Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”

Mikey raises an eyebrow.

Baji opens his mouth.

You lunge.

It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.

“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”

Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.

“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”

“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”

That has the great Baji tensing up.

“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”

Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”

If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.

“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”

The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.

“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”

Silence.

Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.

You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.

This...

This is war.

Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”

Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”

“None of your fucking business, asshole.”

“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”

Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.

“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.

“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”

Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.

On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.

Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.

“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”

You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.

“You want me stop? Beg for it.”

“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”

Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.

“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.

Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”

Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.

“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)

There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.

“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.

“Good.”

Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.

You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’

As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.

‘See you there.’

~~~

“Boku no Pico, huh?”

“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”

“All 3 episodes?”

“Twice.”

“...”

“...”

“Favorite scene...?”

“As if I’d have one.”

"Actually-"

“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”

~~~

“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”

You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.

“Do wha-?”

Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.

“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”

You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.

A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.

It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.

While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”

(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.

“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”

“Wow, congrats.”

Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)

Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”

Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.

Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.

“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”

The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”

“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.

“He jerks it to yo-”

BAM!

One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.

Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.

“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”

Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.

But do you really care?

You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.

You do not.

That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.

Baji?

Baji feels betrayed.

~~~

"Chifuyu?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”

The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.

It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.

Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.

“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”

“No, you’d get beat up.”

“...”

“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”

Truly, unpredictable and senseless.

“You’d still get beat up.”

Baji opens his mouth to argue.

“By Mikey.”

He promptly closes it.

“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”

Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”

Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.

And he deserved it both times.

[souljoon]

Like a fool (pt.1)

pairing: teacher!jungkook x cafe owner!reader word count: 2k genre: fluff, smut, ex lovers au warnings: sexual content, slight dom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex (stay safe loves!)

synopsis: Everyone in the neighborhood knows you and Jungkook will inevitably end up in a wedlock despite the complicated status of your on-and-off relationship. While you want to keep a civil relationship with him, Jungkook learned not to care about labels long ago since the first time you two broke up. Whatever you’d say, he intends to keep his place in your heart taken for the rest of your life.

~~~

“Your beau is here,” Jimin prompted behind you.

Without turning in his direction, your attention to the carrot cake remaining glued to the carrot cake you were currently frosting about.

At this point, you wouldn’t even be surprised to see Jungkook on the opposite side of your bed in the morning. He seems to find it amusing to see you evidently pissed whenever he’s around. How couldn’t you? He not only takes over Jimin’s job but he often causes a scene with the customers in the cafe—which, to fuel more of your unspoken frustration, are students from the nearby community college.

You couldn’t admit how the attention he was getting from people of different gender identities still bothers you despite the mutual decision to call the engagement off. You understand your ex-fiance is a very attractive man. And his charisma could probably stir attraction from married women regardless of their age.

Over the course of six years of a complicated relationship with him, you two had already been in two break ups in college, citing his laid back self in college and your endless insecurities that urged you to try to get away from him, from the spell he had on you.

While you decided to pursue your dream to start your own cafe business post-graduation, Jungkook surprisingly landed on a teaching job in Jung-do High School which is also located in the same neighborhood two years ago. 

Footsteps are, again, back in the kitchen. “He just wore an apron. So I’m guessing he’s here until the shop closes.” It was Jimin, informing you yet again as if it was part of his job to report Jungkook’s every move to you.

This time, you sweep a brief glance behind. “Don’t let the counter vacant, Chim.” You say, cleaning up the cake board as a finishing touch to your masterpiece.

“He took over the counter, _____. How am I supposed to make him go away when he’s our own human advertisement. He’s attracting more customers!”

With a glare darted to his direction, you suggest, “Then I guess I should replace you with him, instead?”

Jimin visibly sulked, not really wanting to argue with you—his boss. “Fine!”

Six months. That’s how long you’ve been single since. Sure he had you wrapped around his fingers back then. But you wanted to prove to him and to yourself that you can live without him. However, it’s too impossible to keep up with it when he freely deems himself welcome wherever you are, maintaining his act of indifference toward the real score between you.

Intending to place the cake in the display, you finally went out of the kitchen-- ironically, just in time to run into him. Jungkook being the shameless ex-boyfriend that he is, took the cake in your hands.

He was wearing a gym class outfit— a pair of black adidas sweatpants, and a plain, white shirt over a black hoodie. If only you were not trying to stay as far as possible away from him, you’ll probably tease him about his own dress code. He doesn’t look like he just got out of his class as the teacher. He looked like he just went out of bed before he came here.

“Aren’t you supposed to be home?” You ask from behind him.

“I’m bored,” he simply replied.

“What do you mean you’re bored? Haven’t you just got off work?”

He spun around, startling you when you came face to face with him. If you couldn’t properly see his entire face before, you do now much to your annoyance.

He sighs. “I did. Look, I’m just helping Jimin-hyung out here. I won’t bother you, I swear.”

“You don’t have to because you’re not my employee, Kook.”

“Well, I could use some part time if you’re hiring.” Jungkook shrugs.

Here we go, again.

Your eyes narrowed to which roused him to raise his hands up defensively.

“Jagiya—”

“Lovebirds,” Jimin suddenly interrupts.

“What?!” You both snapped back at Jimin’s direction.

“Whoa, tone it down— you two. Restroom is right there in case you need to release the sexual tension. It’s getting intense out here.” He jests, making a shooing motions with his hands.

Jungkook wasted no more time and took it as his cue to grab your wrist, dragging you with him as he navigated the way past the kitchen into the storage room.

A temporary relief washes through you when Jungkook brought you in this enclosed, rather safe space instead of the restroom. However, dread slowly consumes your whole being when you hear the familiar sound of the knob locking.

Jungkook pivoted back, facing you. “Let’s talk here.”

Your eyes lingered down where his hand maintained his grasp around your wrist. “Why? There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“For the umpteenth time, I saw the landlord across the street like he was waiting for someone,”

You look up, quirking up an eyebrow at his sudden shot of a subject relating to Seokjin. “What’s your point?”

“I don’t trust him.” He deduces, childishly.

“What do you want me to do, find another leasing property? This shouldn’t concern you in the first place. You never once heard anything from me about Joohyun.” You mentally cursed, unable to stop yourself from mentioning the name of the woman he was seen in a restaurant a week ago.

“What’s Joohyun got anything to do with this?”

You scoff. “You know what, I don’t need to answer that. We’re not together anymore so it’s none of my business.”

Jungkook seized your attempt to leave, latching onto your arm just in time. As he pulls you back, you were met with the subtle amusement plastered obnoxiously on his face.

“We’re not done here, baby. So... Joohyun, really? My colleague?” A laugh slips out of him, seemingly pleased. You, on the other hand, felt insulted on his take of your serious remark. Your blood started rising up. So the rumors aren’t true?

You jerked away. Well... tried to, because your hand stayed locked around his firm grip. “Let me go, I need to go back to the kitchen.”

You stepped back when he abruptly inched forward. You were puzzled for a second, but when your back touched the surface of the door, you knew you fell from his trap as he steadied himself with his palms pressed flat above your head. You turned your face away, avoiding his heated gaze. But the gesture only gave Jungkook a room to nestle his head on the exposed skin of your neck.

The moment you felt his warm lips touch your skin, you squeezed your eyes shut. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping a safe distance from me, baby. You have no idea how much  I fucking miss you, missed keeping you all to myself like this.” He expresses in a thick, sultry tone.

You shake your head, knowing full well what he meant. “We c-cant, Jimin is--”

“--not here.” He finishes, pressing his lower body against yours and teasing your sweet spot with a gentle suck. The bulge on his mid-region was enough to make your panties wet instantaneously and your body heats up too quickly.

“Jungkook,” his name slips out of your mouth.

“Please tell me you’re still in birth control.” He desperately murmurs against your skin on the curve of your neck.

You frantically bobbed your head, lost at the hot trail of kisses he’s leaving on your skin.

With an eager pull of the strings on his nape and back, he rids the apron off of his front followed by a swift pull of his sweatpants with his boxers, just enough to release his hard member.

Your mouth instantaneously watered at the sight of the maddeningly pink head and aroused length, thick and hard just the way you remembered it the last time Jungkook fucked you. It happened in his car three months ago. You were too intoxicated then to control yourself from jumping up into his lap as he drove you back to your apartment. To keep your pride intact, you tried to steer clear from repeating the same mistake again. Not when you’re not officially back together.

Right now, you’re too sexually neglected to care about anything.

“I want you in my mouth,” you beg, not believing you sounded incredibly hasty than you actually have estimated.

He swats your hand off when he sensed your hand extending towards his crotch, “I’d love to fuck your mouth baby, but we don’t have that much time. I need to be inside your pussy,” You felt his palms scooping you up through your butt, sandwiching you between his body and the door. Your legs automatically weaving around his hips to steady yourself.

Then pushes your underwear aside, “This is probably the only reason why I love you wearing skirts. Easy access—fuck baby, so tight.” He barely sank his cock in, yet you could already feel the sting of your walls as they stretch around him.

Your hand flew to the back of head, eager to bury your fingers beneath his curly locks.

Just as you part your mouth to speak to encourage more his entrance, he suddenly propels his hips forward, pushing his dick to the hilt which roused a cry from you.

“Fucking tight! I’m gonna break you so much you won’t ever forget about me. You understand, darling?”

“Yes, yes, please fuck me!” You cried out, reeling from both the sting of your muscles caused by his forceful entrance, and the familiar warmth filling you full.

Without bothering to warm you up, he began a breathtaking pace despite his overwhelming intrusion. You didn’t mind, though. In fact, his thrusts were making your moans irrepressible and your thighs tremble in delight.

Jungkook places his head between the valleys of your covered mounds, not missing his faint grunts, lost in his own pleasure.

“You like that, huh? You like the idea of being fucked outside, baby girl? I’ve had enough this bullshit,” He growls with a series of rough jerk of his hips, forcing a cry of his name out of you.

“That’s right, moan my name. Just wait until I get you all alone tonight, I’ll make sure you won’t ever think of breaking up with me. Do you hear me?” He warns darkly, emphasizing the severity of his threat with a shove of his dick so deep his tip was heavenly kissing your precious spot from your insides.

“Oh god,” you lamented, deliriously.

You could already feel the building up in your abdomen just as fast as he started rocking into you. You’ve known him long enough for you to easily sense it was the same for him too, concealing his moans with his mouth latched onto your prickly skin.

“That’s right. Come for me!” he grunted in between powerful thrusts.

His command did the trick, sending your body forward as you exploded, your walls tighten around him with each snap of his hips against your pelvis. Soon enough, he jerked off his load inside you with a growl rumbling on his chest.

Grimace creases on your expression as he cautiously pulls his cock out, following his load combined with your juices gushing out of your pussy down to the insides of your thighs.

Barely recovered from the earth shattering orgasm you had for the first time in three months, you heard a series of banging coming from the other side of the door.

“You done, lovebirds?” Your eyes clenched shut in realization, quietly plotting the assassination of some guy named Jimin.

“Thanks for ruining the moment,” Jungkook retorts back. “Not a problem. You guys seriously need to get the fuck out, I ran out of beans in the jar and try not fuck each other here next time, yeah?”

Amused with the scene unfolding, Jungkook casually pushes your underwear back to its place, smoothening your skirt down as if nothing inappropriate had occurred here. He kisses the tip of your nose, before turning the knob of the door.

Couldn’t this get any more embarrassing?

~~~

Thank you for reading and apologies for any spelling/ grammatical errors. I havent edited this yet.  Part 2 will most likely be posted on Monday or Tuesday :)

[butwhyduh]

The Batmobile

Jason todd x reader

Warning: angst, fluff, smut, it’s fucking in the fucking batmobile 🤷🏻‍♀️😏

It was a whole year ago that you found out about Jason being Red Hood. He had left a spare helmet in the back of his closet and you had pulled it on top of you when you grabbed a hoodie. After mentally freaking out, Jason had gotten you a bag of ice for the knot on your head.

It took a whole freaking year of knowing his secret and almost 2 years of dating for you to be invited to the Wayne Manor. Okay, actually Bruce had invited you within the first 6 months of dating. Jason was the one who wanted to keep you a secret.

You spent a good 2 hours looking through your entire closet to find something to wear. What the hell do you wear to dinner at a billionaire’s house? You relaxed a little when you saw Jason wearing plain jeans and a hoodie. Okay, yeah good. Casual was better. Not to mention that you were taking a motorcycle there.

You arrived in skinny jeans and a leather jacket that felt like a protection. You could act like a punk and most people won’t touch you. Especially when Jason had the scowl he was currently wearing. You followed his eyes to see the unmistakable form of Bruce Wayne in the drive.

Did Bruce specifically find children that resembled him? Much like Jason he was tall and muscular with dark hair and as you got closer you could see he also had blue eyes. He had a few wrinkles around his eyes and grey in his hair that seemed to add to his beauty rather than take it away. You’d never met a billionaire before.

“Hello,” Bruce said.

“Hello.” You shook his hand.

“I apologize for not having you over sooner but Jason seems to have wanted to keep you a secret,” he said with a tiny smile you almost missed.

“I wonder why,” Jason whispered sarcastically. Bruce ignored it. “Hello demon spawn,” he said and you gasped at the person you hadn’t seen before standing only a few feet from you.

“Damian Wayne,” he said with his hand out to you. You shook the young man’s hand and stated your name. He was only a inch or two within your height despite his youth and heavily resembled his father except for his deep olive skin tone and green eyes.

The door opened and a voice called out, “perhaps you should bring your party inside the manor. It will be snowing soon.” The polished English accent must have been Alfred.

Bruce moved to the side and you all walked in. Alfred had walked to the dinning room. The hallway had deep polished wood walls and was dimly lit by candles on candelabras. As you walked towards the room, a warm body grabbed your hand and you shrieked.

“Sorry! Sorry!” He said releasing your hand. You flushed, embarrassed. “I thought you saw me. I’m Dick.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

Jason grasped your hand and stepped towards Dick with a look of murder on his face. You put your hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. It was an accident,” you said with a little awkward laugh. Jason relaxed a little.

Alfred stood in the doorway to the dinning room with a small smile. He gently cleared his throat and you all followed him in the dinning room. It was then that you truly took in the beauty of the house. You had been too nervous about meeting his family when walking in.

The room was breathtaking. A long mahogany table was lined with emerald tuffed chaired and heavy gold curtains over the windows. The wooden floor gleamed and you noticed that your feet were the only ones making any noise as you sat down.

“Hello master Jason. It’s nice to see you here again. And you must be y/n. I’m glad he finally brought you around,” Alfred said quietly, shaking your hand. “Excuse me, I must serve dinner.”

A lovely smelling soup was placed before you all and water and wine was served. You watched as everyone ate. Bruce ate casually while Dick animatedly told a story. Another brother, Tim, shook your hand across the table before eating and typing away on his phone. Jason stared at Damian while eating and the teen glared back. You put your hand on Jason’s knee and he seemed to relax a little.

“I need to speak you, Jason, about work after dinner,” Bruce said casually. All of Jason’s tension came back.

“Not today,” he said. “We can talk later.”

“Well it’s quite important WE business,” Bruce said and everyone at the table watched the two closely.

“Is that why we came over? For you to talk business?” Jason said. He almost had a grimace on his face.

“Of course not. We wanted to meet your girlfriend,” Dick interjected. Jason ignored him.

Bruce finally spoke. “He’s right. We can talk about it later. Tell us more about yourself, y/n.”

“Oh, uh...” you said quite put on the spot. “I’m a photographer.”

“You should have brought your camera. The courtyard can be very pretty in the evening,” Bruce said. “Do you work for a newspaper?”

“Of course she doesn’t,” Jason scoffed.

“I don’t. I mainly take portraits but I have been taking urban photos lately,” you said. “Like the effects of urban areas. I mean-“ you felt a loss of words to describe what you meant.

“She takes photos of the worst parts of Gotham to expose the poverty. That’s where we met. I don’t really let her go alone anymore,” he said with the smallest hint of a smile. “It’s pretty damn dangerous.”

“I’ve been fine,” you insisted and Jason thought back on the multiple shady characters he’s had to beat for you to get your shots without knowing what he was doing. “But I’m putting together a piece for South Gotham Gallery. A few more shots and it will be complete.”

“I’ve heard certain areas can be very dangerous,” Dick commented. “I would be very careful. Especially with a camera.”

“Yeah, like the East End,” Tim said.

“I grew up there,” you admitted with a laugh. “Stay away from Crime Alley and you’re probably okay. During the day.”

“It’s unwise to visit at all. Crime has risen 11 percent in the past 3 years,” Damian said. Alfred served a salad next.

“And unemployment by over 15 percent in the Bowery. That’s why I’m doing my piece. Poverty and crime is caused by wealth,” you said frankly before realizing that you just said that to a bunch of billionaires. Jason stifled a snicker.

[[MORE]]

“I suppose so,” Bruce said slowly. Jesus, you had just insulted your boyfriend’s adoptive father.

“Sorry,” you said quietly looking at your salad.

“It’s fine. It’s true,” Jason said with a shrug.

“So do you two live together,” Dick asked, changing the subject.

“You’re saying that crime is caused by wealth? Can you explain,” Damian said. Jason almost crushed the stem of his wine glass.

“I just mean, Gotham’s rich have gotten richer and the poor poorer and the ones with the money can control that,” you said delicately.

“So the rich can prevent poverty? All poverty?” Damian asked. And to the 13 year old’s credit, he just seemed to be curious. He could clearly feel the tension he was creating but didn’t actually care as he wanted answers.

“Paying people enough to live, healthcare for all, rehabilitation services that actually rehab, good education. All will help prevent crime and poverty. Many studies have shown this,” you said and you wanted to remain impartial but your voice betrayed your passion for the subject.

“We donate and run many foundations that support most of those things. Right father?” Damian asked. You sighed but kept silent. Throwing money doesn’t solve a problem.

Bruce cleared his throat. “Yes.”

“Drop it Damian,” Tim said. He roughly stabbed at his salad.

“I just want to know how she could possibly know what the rich do if she has always been poor.”

Jason crushed the stem at this point. “Shit,” you said quickly wrapping his bleeding hand in a handkerchief from the table. He looked close to exploding.

“Don’t forget that she’s not the only poor kid at the table. I grew up on the streets and moved here. Rich people are shit,” Jason said. He started standing and Damian watched him with a glint in his eyes. He was ready to fight too.

“Sit down, Jason,” Bruce commanded. “He’s just a curious boy.”

“Not surprising. He gets it from his old man. Disregard for anyone else,” Jason all but growled. Tonight was only the tip of the iceberg. You put a hand on his forearm. The last thing you wanted was a fight.

“You’re angry,” Bruce said quietly. He swallowed harshly. “Sit down.”

“I’m a grown man,” Jason said scoffing.

“Not acting like that,” Bruce said. Jason’s hands twitched towards his gun on his hip but he resisted the urge.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here. Alfred, food was great. Fuck you, Bruce,” Jason said grabbing your hand.

“Don’t leave,” Dick called as Jason pulled you down the hall. He didn’t go towards the front door but downstairs to a garage. There was probably 20 cars. Many of them were cars you had never seen in person.

“You wanna go for a drive?” He asked and you felt a thrill.

“One of these?” You asked.

“Nope,” Jason said pressing a code into a computer. A hidden garage door opened to expose a very conspicuous vehicle. The batmobile. You’d definitely never seen that car in real life.

“Seriously? Won’t he get mad?” You asked a little shocked.

“Fucking furious. We’re just going to get something to eat,” Jason said grabbing the key and unlocking it.

“Ugh... what the hell? Why not? Yeah,” you finally said. You knew the value of not missing a ride in the freaking batmobile. He grinned and opened the door for you. You climbed in and noticed a billion buttons. As Jason started the car, a string of lights pulsed on before the car showed multiple sensors. Jason pressed a few buttons before shifting the gear and driving out of the garage. The front gate automatically opened and he started putting on some speed once the car hit the road.

It felt like he was driving 50 when the speedometer was showing a cool 120. Your heart beat quickly in fear and excitement. Jason slowed down to 70 and grasped your hand. You could see tiny little cuts on his hand from the glass he crushed earlier.

“Is your hand okay?” You asked looking it over.

“It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt at all. Let’s get some food. I know a spot. But you’ll have to wear this,” he said pulling out a small black mask to cover your eyes. He took his own. “Can’t exactly drive the batmobile and show our face.”

The spot he knew was a tiny little taco truck strung with Christmas lights and a white board advertising “elotes con chile y limon.” It was on an empty corner lot in a not so great area of Gotham. It was extremely conspicuous as the pair of you got out of the car. Most people watched but as they thought they were watching freaking Batman order tacos, they didn’t say or do anything.

“Hello,” said the truck owner nervously. “Would you like something to eat? Elotes? Carnitas?”

“Yeah, 6 carnita tacos with cilantro and lime. A Mexican coke. 2 orders of sopapillas. What do you want?”

“That’s all for you?” You laughed always amazed at the amount he could eat. It made sense with all the energy he used but still. “Same but just 2 tacos and and a coke.”

Jason wrapped an arm around you waist and swayed slightly to the Mexican music playing in the truck. People started to get used to you both being there. Maybe Batman just wanted some tacos?

After receiving a plastic take out bag with foil wrapped tacos, a sign of good tacos, you both climbed back in the car. The masks were haphazardly tossed on the dash. Jason drove you both back the way you came and you wondered if you were going back to the manor when, no he was taking you to a quiet rest stop outside the city. You ate the tacos and sopapillas on the hood of the car. You watched as Jason added way to much spicy green chile sauce to his tacos.

“Want some?”

“I choose life but thank you,” you said. You giggled as he cleared his throat and gulped down his coke. But to his credit, he ate it. Maybe he just enjoyed pain? “Now what?” You asked watching the stars. They weren’t visible in the city.

Instead of answering, Jason pulled you close. Your back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. You held his hands and looked at the little scars that littered his skin. Always fighting. Jason bent to kiss your neck.

“Wanna be really bad,” he asked with audacity that you knew meant something interesting. You leaned into him more.

“What do you mean?” You purred. Dating a guy like Jason Todd, you weren’t exactly new to taking some risks.

“Let’s fuck. Right. Here,” he said and with every word he slowly spoke in a husky voice, he pushed his hips against you and you knew exactly what he wanted. You went to turn in his arms but he moved quicker and you were quickly bent over the car with a gasp. He pulled off his jacket and threw it on the hood. Little did you know but he was covering the camera.

Jason’s hand ran along your back and you shivered as your skin pressed against the hard metal. He kissed the back of your neck and kneaded the flesh on your hips and he ground his hard on against you. “Fuck you’re pretty. And letting fucking Bruce know what you think of the rich. That was hot as shit. I’ve been wanting to do this for months.”

“This was on your bucket list,” you asked grinding your hips back against him. “To bend me over the batmobile and fuck me?”

“Jesus,” he said before pulling down your jeans and panties in one push. You shivered at the cold air touched your ass. “Your fucking mouth, Princess. I love it.”

You weren’t cold for very long because after a few seconds of rustling with a belt and zipper, you felt Jason press against your ass. He rubbed his cock through your folds a few times before pulling away. You turned to whine only to see him rolling on a condom. He sunk into you without ceremony. His fingers roughly held your hips as he thrust into you.

You moaned and the echo reminded you that you were outside. Anyone could come up on the pair of you fucking on the goddamn Batmobile. It made you moan even louder. He rubbed his hand up and down your spine before sliding down to the front of your body to rub your clit. It didn’t take long for you to grip him tighter.

“Fuck, Princess, are you close?” He moaned in your ear. His thrusts were rough and deep and his fingers moved quickly over your clit.

“Yeah, oh shit, yeah,” you moaned. “Jay,” you whined when he readjusted his hand.

“I got you. Let go, Princess,” he purred in your ear. You reached a hand up and grabbed his hair. You pulled him close and moaned his name on repeat as you came. He grunted and a few more thrusts found his release. Jason pulled out and pulled up your pants with a pat on your ass and took care of his condom.

“We probably need to get the car back before Bruce come looking for it,” he said grabbing his jacket. Jason gave you a long sweet kiss before getting back in the car.

“Does he have a tracking device in it,” you asked with sudden realization.

“Yeah but all we did was get some tacos and stopped to eat them,” Jason said with a wink. “He won’t care too much. Plus he’ll only be mad at me anyways. Don’t worry about it, Princess.”

You held his hand all the way back to the front drive of Wayne Manor. As soon as you were in his car, his phone lit up and before he put it away, it was a message from Tim. “Clean it before you bring it back. I don’t even want to know what happened and Bruce is ofc mad.😩”

You laughed a little and Jason went from grinning to laughing out loud. “At least we didn’t fuck in the car,” you said. He laughed some more.

“Maybe next time, baby,” he said with a wink before speeding out of the drive.

“Oh god. I wouldn’t do Alfred like that.”

“I knew I liked you for some reason. Let’s get home. It’s cold as balls out here and I’d like to spend some time with my hot as shit girlfriend before the other shoe drops,” Jason said taking your hand again.

“That’s a fan-fucking-tastic idea.”

[heavenunderthemoon]

Line Without A Hook- Jennifer Jareau x Reader

summary: You were brought onto the team as a tech analyst to help with the new workload and find a certain blonde has taken an interest in you. 

warnings: none just some angst and then some fluff

I would recommend listening to Line without a hook by Ricky Montgomery while reading bc that’s what I listened to while writing (hence the title), always, enjoy! Also go check out my other works here

"Hey, hot stuff."

Your fingers tightened around the black, government issued telephone you had been holding up to your ear, eyes flickering to Penelope who was finishing up typing in a code to help filter your search results for the unsub.

Jennifer Jareau's arrogantly smooth (in your own, professional opinion, of course) filtered through the phone with ease and successfully made your cheeks tint pink.

"Jennifer." You said curtly, and Penelope spun around in her chair, her face twinged with amusement already.

Ever since you had started working at the bureau a month ago, the team had noticed a...flirtation between you and the blonde former media liaison. You remembered your first day, how her hand had gripped yours tightly and the way her lips had quirked up when you pulled yours back just a bit too fast.

The team had watched for a whole month as the blonde had found fun in her flirtatious poking, the first time she had expressed interest in anyone since her divorce. And you hadn't had any complaints- well, any real complaints. Sure, you answered her stiffly, choosing to only call her Jennifer (because, according to her, only  friends called her 'JJ' and you would vehemently attest that you were not friends), but, if you had actually been bothered by the constant poking you would've voiced it. So, she continued.

"Now, that's no way to greet your favorite co-worker." The blonde teased and you could swear you could hear the smirk in that overly-confident, pompous, velvety voice of hers.

You rolled your eyes as Penelope hit the button to put it on speaker, eyes glued to your face as if to gauge your reaction. But, over the last thirty days you had become excellent at putting on a poker face. With a dry tone, you responded.

"You're right, I'd never greet Emily that way." You cracked wittily, and a small chuckle ghosted from her lips.

They had only been gone for six hours and you knew she probably hadn't changed. She was probably still wearing that wonderful little blazer that fit her slender, toned arms so well. The one that made your eyes follow her as she moved throughout the room, that annoying, adorable little smirk on her lips because she knew it too.

"Ah, how you wound me, Y/N/N." The name grated against your ears and your lips twitched in annoyance.

You hated that nickname. You had never had a nickname before, which, you supposed should be surprising because you were well above the age that nicknames were typically given but no one had ever bothered to give you one and now that someone had (and that someone was Jennifer), you couldn't help but have your annoyance spike at the usage of it.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate when you call me that?" You asked sarcastically.

"Every time I use it." Jennifer responded cheekily, and you rolled your eyes, scooting in to your desk while Penelope giggled.

And just like that she was asking you for an address and you were dutifully searching for it. This case was similar to most you had worked on so far, though the likeness to the others did little to numb the severity of the situations these people found themselves in. You didn't know how they had all been doing it for so long. Looking at this team from the outside in had made it seem like a safe haven, a group of untouchables, of the elite. But now that you were one of them you could see that it was the opposite. That, eventually, this job chipped away at them, piece by piece. You wondered how long it would be until the first part of you left too.

The address pinged onto the corner of your screen and you were speaking into the phone once more, giving it to Jareau woman as she showered you in thanks. Perhaps it was the heat of the moment, or perhaps it was the case itself, the way the women all had blonde hair- it wasn't like Jennifer's hair, no, Jennifer's blonde was golden, like the sun itself had ventured down to earth to lay a kiss atop her head, bleeding some of its golden rays onto her long locks. Whatever the reason may be, you wouldn't particularly know because you were speaking far before you could think twice.

"Wait, Jennifer?" There was shuffling on the other end, the agent most probably gearing up as she walked to the squad cars, preparing to catch the man that had started the whole chase.

The blonde noticed the change in tone immediately. Of course she did, because you had developed a certain tone whenever you spoke with her. An exasperated, breathy, really adorably annoyed sort of tone that she knew was just for show because that cute little smile that you had, the smile that tilted down at the corners because you were trying so very hard to suppress it, always tugged at your lips. That tone was gone, stripped bare and all that remained was you.

"Yeah?" And now you noticed the change in tone, because the tone she normally used with you was irritatingly confident and poised and so frustratingly perfect that it made you automatically go in defense mode because, let's be honest, you were very far from it.

"Be safe." You said, and it seemed more like a plea than a statement and the back of your neck felt extremely hot when you recalled Penelope's presence behind you, the very excitable woman practically shaking at the small interaction and you hung up the phone before Jennifer could even respond.

"Not a word." You warned the Garcia woman, keeping your eyes glued to the screen before you. There was nothing to be done, at least, nothing pressing. You had given the address to the team. Now, what was left was the waiting. The waiting to confirm you had the right guy,  waiting to make sure your team turned out okay (the standards for okay, you had learned, was that everyone was in one piece or not in jail by the end of the case), and that the paperwork was filled out.

Penelope Garcia, being that she was Penelope Garcia, did not follow your request. Her earrings jangled as she rolled her way to you, your shoulders touching as she occupied the space next to your desk. She hadn't been too thrilled at the idea of a new occupant in her bat cave. In fact, she had detested it, all but striking where Emily had brought up the idea. But, the Prentiss woman had been quite adamant about the new addition, claiming that the technical analyst needed help with the new workload as they began to take on more cases, not to mention your resume had been nothing short of sparkling.

Grumbling, Penelope had met you, her eyes landing on the woman staring at the rows of action figurines on display on the righthand corner of the room. She had watched the way you peered at them, the recognition flashing in your eyes and successfully called you out on being a nerd (a secret nerd, as she called you, because you didn't broadcast your 'dorky' interests quite like Penelope liked to.) And that had been that, the Garcia woman clearing out a space for your desk and promising not to tell anyone about your weird niche interests that she had all but pried out of you.

"'Be safe', I think I'm swooning." The Garcia woman fanned her face teasingly and you huffed, refusing to meet her eyes.

"What part of 'not a word' needed to be translated into Penelopian-"

"Peneloponese is actually my official language, but continue."

And this time you did turn to face her with a cross look, arms folded. "Very funny, we'll have to get you on Seinfeld." You said flatly.

The blonde let out a laugh, as she so often did around you. As adamantly against she had been on your presence in her bat cave, she was grateful you had come into her life. Previously, she had relied on figurines and plush animals to bring her happiness when the darkness threatened to breach her area of sanctitude but now she had you, her secretly dorky, outwardly cool coworker who very obviously had a crush on one of her oldest friends.

"I tease out of love, Y/N. Speaking of love,"

You turned back to your computer, cutting th Newman off swiftly. "No."

Penelope let out a whine. "No? You don't even know what I was gong to say." She argued, though she knew you did.

And you did. You knew that she was going to ask what the latest gossip was on you and Jennifer was because that's what she always asked and, yes, while you typically playfully denied anything going on you didn't quite this you could do that this time because this time you were far too trapped into your own brain to dig yourself out long enough to lie. You were stuck, deep, deep in there, think about all the ways in which you thought Jennifer Jareau was an actual angel sent from Heaven above, starting from the golden color of her hair and ending with the way she twirled her pens out of boredom. And you hated that you noticed all those things, mostly because it meant you spent more time than you cared to admit sneaking Ito the bullpen, making excuse after excuse just to stand there and observe the funny way she did things (she ate Cheetos for almost every meal and it baffled you how she was still standing).

But you also hated it because it meant that you liked her and you could not like Jennifer Jareau. You couldn't like her because there was no way in hell that you were dumb enough to set yourself up for failure like that, you weren't that sadistic.

You would never be able to handle the crushing weight of rejection that would inevitably come from unrequitedly liking Jennifer Jareau and, of course, it would be unrequited because how could she like you? How could she like you, someone who simply refused to read a book unless it was a physical copy (you didn't understand the appeal to e-readers because you couldn't smell the old pages as you flipped them or run your fingers along the spine as you read it. Someone who had learned seven languages, one of which was Klingon just because you wanted to see if you actually could (it hadn't been too hard but now you had to live with the fact that you actually knew Klingon). Someone who hated polka-dots. Someone who had a fear of walking over sewer grates because you thought you might just be the one person unlucky enough to fall in. How could Jennifer Jareau, the woman who always walked in to work, never a wrinkle in sight or a hair out of place, possibly like you?

Surely, the flirty nature of your conversations was just something to tease you with, something she found satisfaction in and you hated it because as much as you wished it was true, those sultry looks and kind smiles, the shoulder squeezes and over the shoulder smirks, the walks to the car and greetings in the morning, it wasn't. It wasn't true and it never would be because she was Jennifer Jareau, a newly divorced mother of two.

"Drop it, Pen." And before she opened her mouth once more your tone was softening, shoulders deflating from the tense posture you held before, slumping in vulnerability. "Please."

Penelope's lips pursed shut, the two of you sitting in that silence you had created for what seemed like eternity. The hum of the machines, something that had typically served as a sense of comfort to you, seeming to mock you, a symphony of interruptions that added to the very loud, very panicked screaming currently happening in your brain.

It was the kind of silence that you asked for but once you received but, you regretted it. The silence that enveloped you in its entirety, consuming you whole and dropping you right into the belly of the beast. You started to drown in that silence because, for you, it wasn't silence at all, it was just a big, large, bottomless abyss that served as a chasm for your thoughts to fill and boy did you have a lot of them, none of them entirely pleasant and almost all of them torturous. You felt yourself teetering onto the edge of that metaphoric chasm, tiptoeing the ledge of hate and love for Jennifer Jareau.

But, Penelope Garcia was nothing if not a savior, and her hand latched onto your still one with gentleness.

"She likes you too."

And just like that the chasm was emptying, mind going blank, going absolutely numb because your ears were ringing at even the slightest notion that Jennifer Jareau liked you. Your face must've displayed that because Penelope was continuing.

"She does, I swear, she told me. Well, she told Emily but it was Girls' Night Out and I went to get more drinks and she told Emily but you know that JJ can't hold her liquor all too well and I don't think either of them know that I know and I can't tell them that I know because then they'll know I was eavesdropping- which I wasn't! My eyesight is just really bad so I think my hearing is just hyper-sensitive-"

Your mind raced attempting to keep up with the blonde. "Wait, hold on." You throat felt dry, full of cotton and closing up by the second so you forced yourself to breathe. "She...likes me? Not as a friend but actually likes me?" And you hated how juvenile it all sounded, cringed at the concept that you had to ask your friend if the girl you liked, liked you back, but you had to.

Penelope took a breath of her own, that brilliant smile she always adorned coming back into play. A nod toddled out of her head and she squeezed your hand. "Yes! She never told me, though I think that's because everyone thinks I can't keep a secret. But she always talks about you, never shuts up actually, and the look on her face-"

"She likes me." And as cool as you always tried to look, as mature as you always claimed to be, that childish little smile that overtook your features demolished all of those walls in an instant. Your heart beat quickened and you could've sworn they were singing, singing her name, cheering it, really.

Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer.

"She does." The Garcia woman confirmed.

The phone ringing cut off your inner symphony, your hand flying to the phone as you answered it.

"Hello?" You were breathless and you couldn't quite help it.

"First ring. Nothing better to do than answer my calls, huh, Y/N?" And Jennifer was back on the line, the sound of sirens haunting her background. It had been almost an hour since your last call and you could safely assume she had gotten out of the situation alive, the unsub apprehended and the team beginning their victory laps.

"Don't flatter yourself, Jareau, I thought it was someone else." And because your mind had emptied, because your thoughts had gone blank, your quips weren't;t as lethal as they always were, your guard lowered.

JJ snorted. "Oh yeah, like who?"

You spun your chair around, blurting out the first name that came to mind. "Penelope." And instantly your hand was slapping your forehead.

"Penelope? Is she not right next to you?" A breathy little laugh escaped her lips and you stared at the blonde tech analyst, eyes widened and hands gesticulating wildly to which she merely shrugged.

"Uh, yeah, she is...it's a, uh, game...we play." Your excuse was weak and asinine but it was the only one you could think of and if you could astrally project out of your body to smack yourself you would but you couldn't. "Anyways, did you catch the guy?" You asked, quickly changing the subject.

If JJ noticed the awkwardness, she didn't mention it. "Yup, so you won't have to wait too long to see this face if that's what you were wondering." That confidence, the confidence that you know understood was her way of flirting and also would probably be your cause of death.

And with that new understanding, your mind simply stopped working. "Good." And at the realization of what you had just said you attempted to recover. "I mean that's good that you'll be home soon, not good that I'll see your face- not that I don't want to see your face, it's a good face, symmetrical and all that-"

Penelope was waving her hands, signaling for you to stop and your hand was covering your own mouth to stop yourself.

JJ was silent for a moment, the sound of a car door closing before she was speaking once more. "Are you okay, Y/N? You're being...weird."

"Ask her out!" Penelope hissed and you smacked her shoulder.

"Was that Pen What did she say?"

"Nothing!" You shrieked, before clearing your throat, voice returning back to normal. "Nothing, just, uh,"

The Garcia woman was back to miming and you watched as she panto-mimed a date (very poorly, you might add, but it was enough to make you relax, shoulders regaining some movement).

"Do you want to go out for dinner sometime?"

The silence you had so loathed had returned with a sickening fervor and your stomach flipped at it. "With me...in case that wasn't clear." Your hand scratched the back of your neck, hot with embarrassment toward the entirety of this exchange.

And just when you thought you might die from the embarrassment or Penelope might faint from the whole ordeal, Jennifer responded.

"Yes."

[crushzone]

relationship hcs for akiteru 🥺🥺🥺

Hi yes yes YESSS! More love for Akiteru, here we go! 💕

Being in a Relationship with Akiteru Tsukishima 🥰

Let me start off by saying this: if you ever find yourself in a relationship with him, then congratulations, you have very great taste and a wonderful boyfriend. 😘

How it all began:

You met Akiteru at your university. As someone who greatly values academic and genuinely enjoys going to classes, you always wake up a little earlier than you had to, just so you can get a head start. Little did you know that you’d run into the cutest fellow early bird on the first day of your second year.

As expected, the building is peaceful, so quiet, as the only sound are echos from your shoes. But to your surprise, you come across a silhouette of a tall male, sitting with his back to you, in front of the massive window that overlooks the empty university.

When your footsteps come to a stop, he turns to you, lowering the book that he’s holding on to his lap. “Are you here for World War 2 in Cinema?” He asks with a smile.

His smile widens when you respond with a nod, turning around to fully face you with an arm outstretched. “My name is Tsukishima Akiteru! But you can call me Akiteru.”

You walk up to him and shakes his warm hand, as you can’t help but be infected by his genuine smile and warm demeanor.

Also noting how calloused his palms are. Hmm, what could’ve caused that 🤔

From that day on, you two would come to class even earlier; from 10 minutes, to 15, even up to 20, just so you can chit chat.

He’d bring whatever he thought was cool to show you before class too. For instance, he’s gone thrift shopping with his other friends once, and came across a children dinosaur book. It made him very nostalgic as it reminded him of Kei, but he’s also way too excited to share it with you, so he bought it on the whim.

His friends totally gave him a weird look, but they’re like: ok, yea, Akiteru’s just being hella nerdy. The usual.

You would also bring cool things to share with him before class as well, and it makes him really happy when you do.

He’d come home everyday, since the day he’d met you, with a fuzzy feeling in his chest. So he likes to snuggle his side pillow with his warm cheeks squished to it with eyes closed, day dreaming about you.

In a way, you remind him a lot of younger Kei; when he’d have someone to share his interests and passion with. However, he’s well aware that you are not his brother and that his excitement to see you every morning is way too intense for it to be something that’s just platonic.

Is also a very observant person; if you’ve gotten a haircut, re-painted your nails, or is wearing something new, he will instantly compliment you on that. And the bizarre thing is that he’s not even trying to suck up to you, it’s actually how he felt and his eyes automatically notice new things about you, even if they may be subtle.

He’s usually the one asking a lot of questions; he wants to know more about you, where you’re from, your family, your passion, hobbies.

So you were pretty surprised when you found out he’s on Kaji Wild Dogs Volleyball team. You didn’t even know what a Wing Spiker or anything is because you were never really a big sports fan.

When you frankly told him that you do not know much about sports, but is still fruitlessly trying to come up with questions, just so he can talk about his passion some more, he just laugh, a wholesome grin on his cute freaking face. 😩

“It’s okay, Y/n-san, It means a lot to me that you’re trying to understand the sport that’s meant so much to me, but that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to speak about it for my sake. I have other passions too, and I’d rather speak about what makes the both of us happy.”

Ughh, like how are you so observant!! It’s the big brother intuition, I tell ya. Since Kei barely communicates with him verbally, he’s gotten really good at observing micro-signs.

Which MEANSSS that this man KNOWSSSS you are into him and that he’s got a chance. Oh yea, he knows bby, and he may or may not have denied it for a day, before he’s like, nah dude, I like them too, so I’m going to go for it.

Your name keeps popping up in conversation with his friends, even without his awareness. BUT if there is ever a chance for him to promote you in a conversation, he will not hesitate, and totally go all out.

He is addicted to your smile, and he wants you to keep doing whatever makes you happy.

Will go out of his ways to support your hobbies; e.g. staying up late at night to brainstorm paper ideas with you, and he’s not even in the class your paper’s for.

Speaking of assignments, you guys are the POWER STUDY BUDDY. Like wow, you know those times when you meet up with your friends for a study sesh, but it turns into a distracting mess. No no, not with you two smarties.

There’s this mutual unspoken agreement, the moment he’s asked you to study with him at the library during mid-terms. You’ll be chit chatting about anything in the world on your way to the lib, but the moment you’ve found your work desk, you’re both completely silent as your eyes skim through the pages of your textbook, while his hands scribble like flaming wheels on his notebook.

The only time one of you would speak is when you’re hungry, and you want to stop by the library’s cafe. He will always ask you if you want anything, even if you already have your sandwich in front of you.

And even if you’ve said no, he’ll still buy something extra for you anyway, cuz he knows it’s going to be a late night at the library.

Knows your class schedule by memory, will always walk or offer to drive you home. And he’ll always make sure you actually enter your apartment before leaving.

On days when he cannot be there to drive you home because of practice, he can’t relax until you send him a photo of your cat at home or something haha.

He’s basically your main ride for almost anything, including groceries. He just enjoys spending time with you in general, it doesn’t have to be anything grand, just as long as you are with him, something as dreadful as waiting at the DMV no longer sounds as bad. 

There was never really a distinct moment of when your first date was, because your relationship started off with a very stable friendship of shared interests.

It’s likely that he’ll confess his feelings for you even before he’s officially asked you on a date, because you are so comfortable with each other’s presence. And you’re cool with that, you’ve always wanted a relationship with an S/O who’e like a best friend anyway.

When he confessed, he did it at least expected moments. It was when you were on your way back from grocery shopping together, you noticed a cheesy-looking Halloween shop, so you asked him if he’d be down. You didn’t even have to beg, he’s already turning his car around.

Can I also add that he’s a very smooth and calm driver?

You’ll be trying on the goofiest looking costume, and he cannot help but smile at how perfect you are to him. Then it slips.

You: Look at me, I’m a cat meow meow. Akiteru: *laughs* Wow, what an accurate imitation. You: I know right? I’m not as cute as my cat though. Akiteru: You are very cute to me. 😳

Wow okay, but was that like platonic cute, or romantic cute. You know? Sometimes, people are vague, what can I say. But not Akiteru.

Akiteru: and I meant it. I like you a lot, Y/n-san. He confesses, looking at you with a smile. Like how are you going to say no to that.

Earlier stages:

Congratulations, Akiteru is now your boyfriend. ✨

A lot of the things that had been mentioned above still remains: he’s still just as attentive and observant as he had been from the start.

He has a list on his phone, of all the things you would eye when you go window shopping, the food you crave when you are extra broke that month, and the different things that make you smile so widely, he could’ve sworn your cheeks were about to explode.

He may not be the richest person in the world, but he will go out of his way to bring your cravings/wishes to fruition. For instance, you were craving some vegetarian Ethiopian food, but it was way too pricy for you to splurge, and you can’t decide on just one. Akiteru will go out of his ways to gather all ingredients, and cook everything from scratch, just so you can experience it as identically to the original thing you had craved for.

You also like to cook together a lot, and he’s pretty great in the kitchen. Loves chopping things for you, especially onions, because he hates the way it makes you tear up. 🥺

Calls you pet names that are inspired by all the children books and anime he’d read and watch with Kei, such as “Olive Baby (Olive Oyl from Popeye the Sailor), Dokin-chan~ (From Go! Anpanman), and Lil Tweety (Warner Bros.) ”

He will just text you with “Cuddle Bug? 🐞” and that’s just code for “I want you to spoil me with cuddles right now.”

It’ll usually happen randomly, but you’ve been noticing him doing that a lot after you’ve had a long day at work or after studying. You often wonder if Cuddle Bug was actually meant to be for him, or if it’s because you looked like you needed one. Regardless, you are grateful.

You can never say no to his cuddle requests because he gives some of the best ones you’ve ever experienced.

His favorite cuddle position is when you are laying on his chest, as he bring both arms to wrap around your shoulders, tucking his nose to your hair as he ingrains the memory of your scent to his mind. The feeling of your warm hand on the dip of his broad chest, makes his heart beat a little faster, as he relishes in your presence.

But on days when you know he needs Cuddle Bug most, are when he’d return to university housing after his visit home.

On those days, he will be the one to lay on your nape, face down, as his long arms wrap around your waist, and underneath the curve of your back. Automatically, your fingers find its way to his honey hued hair, running it through his soft strands, massaging his scalp, as you occasionally brush his temple with your thumb.

You could’ve sworn he purrs like a cat whenever you do.

When you ask him how his visit home went, he always assures that it went well, but you wonder if that was the entire truth.

He always seems a little silent after his visits, not being as playful about his teasings, and his smiles being a little less energetic than what you’re used to. 

You were so concerned, you even asked some of his volleyball friends, and all they know was that Akiteru’s brother gives him a hard time, sometimes.

Strange, because Akiteru had only ever said great things about his brother to you: how Kei is a regular player in the team, and that he is killing the game at his blocks. Whenever he talks about his younger brother, his eyes sparkle and his voice booms proudly.

Knowing him, you decide to leave it at that, and not pry further into it. If he wants to tell you, he’ll tell you himself.

He’ll include you in all of his social events, as long as he’s allowed to, and likes to bring you with him whenever his friends want to hangout.

You felt a little bad, because you didn’t want to take away his guy time, but his friends genuinely enjoy your company. They even ask him how you’re doing sometimes, and for him to say hi for them.

Long term:

Okay, so when I say long term, I mean that it’s past the honeymoon phase.

At this point, you guys know each other so well, like it’s the back of your hands.

You also live together now, in a two bedroom apartment, where you turned one of the bedrooms into both your study rooms.

A very adventurous couple: would go hiking and camping all the time. But he’s also kind of a big introvert, so he’s totally down for chill movie nights at home.

And when you watch movies at home, you both SPRAWL out ALLLL over the couch, doesn’t even matter if you are short or tall, you both will take up every inch of the couch.

He’ll occasionally surprise you with some spontaneous dinner dates at home too, because he knows how badly you wish your cat could join you for all the dates you’ve gone to.

On those spontaneous dinner dates, you’ll come home and he’ll greet you in some nice button ups, 3 buttons undone, black trousers, and black dress shoes. When he draws you in a hug, you can smell the faintest cologne on his neck: a mix of caramel, and something subtly spicy but refreshing.

You also understand volleyball a little better now, and is always there to cheer for him to the fullest extent of your lungs, jumping up and down in excitement every time he score.

Whenever he’s feeling a little too exhausted than he intends to, all he needs is to look over at you, and just like that, he’s instantly recharged as he jumps up and down to your wave with a peace sign.

Is also not a clingy boyfriend at all, he trusts and respects you, and you are both very independent with your own set of interests. He’s totally fine not seeing you ALL the time during the day, but you ALWAYS make dinner together a thing (or if not, at least you’ll spend one of your meals together.)

He may not be the best at communication, such as when something’s bothering him, but that is just his way of protecting you of his burden.

And being around Mr.Perceptive, had taught you to be one as well. You pick up on subtle micro-signs, such as when he would count the grains of his rice with chopsticks, before pulling one grain to his lips at a time. You KNOW something bothersome is plaguing his mind when he plays with food.

He opens up to you about his past mistakes and the reason why Kei no longer talks to him very much. He’s very bothered by the way his little brother holes up in his own room when he visits, it makes him feel like a phantom, a walking failure that just occupies his parent’s home.

And every time his facade shatters, you instantly pull him into a hug, just the same way he’s always liked, his long limbs on top of yours, with your digits entangled in his hair.

You got him to work on his communication, clearly expressing the importance of it to you. And though he struggles sometimes, he’s still doing his best to improve.

Is a very clean person, kind of obsessed with keeping the kitchen clean; he cannot enjoy dinner until everything is in place.

Not that uptight about it though, there will be days when he lets it slip. But then he’ll be right back at it, after you’ve gone upstairs to prepare for bed: quickly washing the dishes and wiping everything down.

If that is not some husband energy then I do not know what is. 😩🥰

You jokingly told him how sexy he is, whenever he does home chores, and it’s now become an inside joke. Every time one of you wipes down the counter or puts the dishes away, you’ll turn to each other and wiggle your brows suggestively, before bursting into laughters.

At this point, if you were never good at teasing, you bet you’ve improved significantly just from dating him.

You’ll really worry when Akiteru gets home late from practice, so sometimes, you’ll stop by with his dinner to find that he is alone in the gym, just practicing his spikes.

When that happens, he’ll sit outside to eat with you, stargazing. Then he’ll return to the gym to lock it up,

But on days, when you’d stop by to say hi at the gym, in the morning, his team would great you very warmly. They’re pretty much your family now, and you like to host them at your apartment for potlucks.

Now, every time Akiteru visits home, he’ll bring you with him.

His mother LOVES you, she finds you to be one of the loveliest person she’s ever met, and keeps thanking you for taking such great care of her son.

With you there with him, he no longer feels lost when he’s home, he’s got you! And anytime he gets to see Kei for dinner, he’s just grateful.

Speaking of Kei, he suppose he does not mind you. You share a lot of similar interests with him — well, that would make a lot of sense because you and Akiteru does too, and that man had such a big influence through Kei’s adolescence.

Sometimes, Kei will chill with you and Akiteru at the balcony, your favorite music playing softly in the background as Kei watches his brother practice. You can’t help but smile, when you see that the brothers are slowly reconstructing their relationship.

Kei totally hates how you and Akiteru cheers so loudly at his matches though. Now he has to deal with another person embarrassing him at the stadium lol. (Though he is low key happy you both do 🤭)  

You spoil Akiteru with head massages every night, without fail. And in return, he gives you foot rubs every morning. 

Here’s how it usually goes: You’ll give him a head massage for a good minute, before patting his head, leaning down to gently pucker your lips against his forehead. Then he’d lift his chin with eyes closed, and that is when you’d give him three gentle pecks on the lips before crawling under the covers beside him. “Thank you”, he’d breath gratefully with a content smile, eyes still closed.

You no longer cuddle every night, especially during the hot summer, but you will link your middle and ring fingers as you both drift to sleep, bodies facing each other in a fetal position. 🥺

And on days when he’d wake up before you, he’ll spend a minute studying your adorable sleeping face with a smile. He wants to protect you from the world, to keep you safe in his arms as you both grow stronger together as individuals.

He has no idea how he’s ended up with you, but he thanks the sky every day for granting him your existence. He loves you so much, way more than he could ever put to words. With a gentle kiss to your forehead, you stir awake to see his warm smile, you’ve grown so accustomed to.

“Good morning, y/n-san. I love you, my lil Tweety.” 😘

---------

Taglist (open): @shhhlikeme @ceo-of-daichi @karasu-hoes @super-noya @nonexistent-social-life

[cheshirehatter666]

Surprise Kenma!!

Pairing: Kozume Kenma x Reader

Word Count:1,422

A/N: This is just a quick little thing for Kenmas Birthday.

Kenma woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes, turning to your side of the bed only to find an empty space. He figures that you had let him sleep in since he had a late stream session the night before, and for that he was grateful. Getting out of bed he dragged himself to the dining room expecting you to be there with a plate of his traditional birthday breakfast that you have made for him every year since middle school. But when he turned the corner and didn’t hear your usual ‘Happy Birthday Ken-Ken’ he was confused. Looking around the empty dining room he went into the kitchen to find his birthday breakfast left on the counter with a little glass dome on top of it along with a note.

“Hi Ken-ken, Happy Birthday!!!! I’m sorry I didn’t wake you but you were up so late last night I didn’t want you start off your birthday with a headache. I’m also sorry that I can’t be with you this year, but this business trip to Miyagi is very important. Tendou-san and I have to seal this deal today or we lose the location, but I promise tomorrow I will spend the ENTIRE day with you. 

Love you,

(Y/N)”

Reading through the note he vaguely remembered you mentioning this at last nights dinner, you and Tendou have been business partners ever since you both had made a connection with each other after meeting abroad at a culinary school. The both of you had opened up a few pop up pastry shops throughout Tokyo and had been trying to bring one to Miyagi for some time now, so he understood the urgency. And its not like you hadn’t spent his birthday apart before, but he had planned on popping the question at the dinner you two were supposed to go to tonight before this opportunity popped up. Smiling down at your cute little signature one last time a placed it aside and began eating the breakfast you left for him while scrolling through all the birthday notifications on his phone.

After he placed his plate in the sink there was a knock at the door, looking through the peep hole and seeing a head of orange hair he opened the door with a smile, only for it to fall the instant he saw who was behind Hinata. “Go away” he said with a glare as he pulled Hinata inside by the arm slamming the door in Kuroo and Bokutos faces. Turning towards his tangerine friend he gave him a small smile as he said his thanks when given the usual birthday greeting, and ignoring the shouts of protests on the other side of his door.

“What are you doing here Shoyo?” he asked as he walked into the kitchen to grab two bottles of orange juice. (A/N: Canabalism?) Hinata nervously glanced at the front door as the two other men continued to knock angrily. “Ummm, (Y/N)-chan said that she wouldn’t be able to take you out on your birthday this year and asked us if we could.”

“You guys don’t really have to I just planned to play some games today anyways, but you can stay Shoyo we can play LBP”

After saying that he heard the automatic lock on the front door activate then looked up to see Kuroo and Bokuto burst in with Akaashi following the two. Shocked he glared at the first two before nodding towards Akaashi who seemed to be on the phone with someone. Akaashi nodded back as he held  out the phone towards him. 

“Hello?” 

“Ken-ken, you have to go out with them tonight, I am not letting you spend your birthday the same way you spend any other day off you have.” he heard you grumble over the line, he could just imagine the cute little pout you had. 

Completely ignoring your order he smiled and asked if you arrived in Miyagi safely, but knowing what he was trying to do you just said that you did and if he wanted his present he would have to go out with the boys. At this he glared slightly at the floor mumbled an okay, and after exchanging I loves you and hanging up he handed Akaashi his phone. 

“How did you idiots even know (Y/N) could unlock the door remotely?” he grumbled out as he was dragged to his room to get ready by Kuroo and Bokuto, Hinata and Akaashi trailing behind them. “Oh we didn’t, Akaashi was the one who called her after he parked the car.” Bokuto replied as he went your shared closet. With sighing in defeat he sent a glare towards the silent glasses wearing man as he stood to the side texting someone, allowing his boyfriend to basically destroy his side of the closet. While Kuroo and Hinata seemed to know exactly where to got to get his clothes, apparently you had planned this out with the rooster head the night before, even picking out the outfit he would wear. Which was a pair of black slacks, a light pink button up, and a pair of black high tops. Kenma grumbled as he went to the connecting bathroom to put them on and his frown only deepened when he came out and Kuroo threw a black blazer at his face. Putting it on properly he glared at the group as they basically dragged him out of his apartment and into Akaashi’s car, driving off to who knows where. 

(Time Skip: 4 hours later) 

Kenma wouldn’t admit it but he had a good time, when he got out of the car he noticed the others were dressed similar to him, and despite the way they were dressed their destination didn’t match their supposed dress code. Apparently, you had booked them an entire three hours at his favorite gaming bar, along with inviting his other friends and old teammates. Near the end after everyone else had left and he was left with the original four who had dragged him out he couldn’t help thinking that it would have been an even better day if you were there with him. As he was climbing up the steps towards your apartment he couldn’t help but smile at his four friends in front of him, he really had some amazing people in his life, not that he’d admit it to them. 

Arriving to his front door he reached for the keypad to unlock the door he paused and turned towards his friends, he whispered a small thank before turning back and opening the door before they could reply, only to be stunned by a bunch of confetti being thrown at him and shouts of ‘Surprise!’. In his stunned state Kuroo took advantage and placed a birthday hat on his head while laughing at the shocked look on his childhood best friends face. 

All the commotion died down and he was taken out of his shocked state when the lights dimmed and you came around the corner holding a birthday cake you probably made, with candles lit on top singing ‘Happy Birthday’ finishing the song when you stood right in front of him “Happy Birthday, make a wish.” you whispered as he smiled back fondly. Blowing out the candle everyone cheered as someone turned on the lights.

Tendou, who had helped you set up, took the cake out of your hands so that he could take it to the kitchen to plate it up. Your back was to Kenma as you spoke to the red head telling him where the cake knife and plates were. As Kenma stared at you with a smile on his face he couldn’t believe he was ever so lucky to end up with someone like you, so when Hinata asked him what he wished for he decided that he was going to do it now. So when you turned around to ask him if he liked his gift you gasped when you saw him down on one knee holding out the most beautiful ring. 

“My wish is for (L/N) (Y/N), to agree to marry me and become Kozume (Y/N)”

With tears in your eyes and your knees giving out you knelt in front of him as you breathed out a shaky ‘yes’ in reply as cheers broke out and he placed the ring on you finger, pulling you into a deep kiss.

Pressing your foreheads together you couldn’t help but giggle at the big grin on his face. 

“Happy Birthday Kenma!”

Permanent Tag List: @sckyie

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

The Assasin and the Caretaker Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Warnings: gun wound, maybe a creepy female character, poison, character death, death threats, needles

Caretaker rocked back and forth, cradling their blown off hand tenderly. They missed. Assasin just missed, they reminded themselves. A professional killer just missed my head. Nothing more... nothing.

Caretaker couldn't help but think that it was more than an accidental miss. That it was intentional. That Assasin didn't want to kill them...

But they did want to kill Villain. That much was clear now. Caretaker shakily rolled out of the car, landing nimbly on their feet. Instinctively, they searched frantically around. No Assasin, no Villain. They wondered how exactly they got away so fast, but didn't dwell on it.

A scream sounded from inside the car and Caretaker rushed over. They opened the door with their good hand and gasped at the sight.

Hero was tangled up in their own body.

"Where are they?!" They screamed. Caretaker sighed with relief. They were finally talking like a normal person.

Caretaker knew immediately after their initial relief that something was off. Their gaze traveled around the car until it landed on a woman sitting in the passenger seat. She had dark hair and a vacant expression. Really, she didn't look too harmful.

Except for her posture. Her right leg was sprawled on the door and her left one was bent as she picked at her nails.

"Hero," Caretaker breathed and grabbed their arm. Pain shot up their arm, but they ignored it and continued to work on getting Hero out of there.

That woman was definitely one of Assasin's partners and therefore was automatically labeled as "Not-To-Be-Trusted".

"Get your filthy hands off me," Hero snapped which drew the woman's attention.

"Ah," she exclaimed and got out of the car. Caretaker pushed back the urge to run when they had the chance.

The woman joined Caretaker on the side of the car.

"My name is Healer," the woman said and grabbes Caretaker's injured hand. With a sudden blue flash of pain and a prick, the hand's broken flesh stitched itself together.

"Ah, ah!" Caretaker exclaimed and backed away, fear settling in them. After their accounter with Villain's loss of control, they didn't really understand why a simple trick like healing magic was so scary.

"Hmm," Healer leaned against the car with a smirk. "Hero is all healed up now."

Caretaker just nodded.

Healer nodded back.

"This is not your car," Healer murmured and ran her fingers over the windshield. With a sound like nails on a chalkboard, she scratched it.

"I bet the owner of this car will be very upset upon finding this," Healer smiled at her work. "But, then again, why would they leave it here in the middle of nowhere?"

"I dunno," Careraker mumbled. Their hand begun to throb.

"You don't?" Healer asked in an oddly sweet tone. "That's a shame." Healer suddenly reached in and grabbed Hero's body, throwing them on the ground.

"This one does not work for any organization. Almost like a rebel," Healer stepped over to Hero, putting her boot on their cheek. "You are Villain's buddy aren't you?"

Hero snarled and tried to push Healer off only to fail, still too weak to do much. Caretaker walked over and asked, "Let them go. They did nothing."

"But they did," Healer laughed and crouched next to Hero, running her hand through their sweaty hair. "Look at you," she now was staring at Caretaker. "Alone, with them."

"You sound like you got beef with them or something," Caretaker remarked. They clenched their previously shot hand and unclenched it. Gosh, it was starting to get painful again. Maybe that's a side effect of the magic, healed but still painful.

"I do," then Healer smiled like a sadistic gang leader. "And do you really think that it was Supervillain's idea to kidnap them? Oh no deary, they are much too dumb for that." Healer laughed, "Oh yes. You should see the look on your face. I was the one who hired Assasin. I was the one who sent them to get Villain out. But," she looked down at Hero with a malicious smile, "of course they came back with them."

"Too bad," Healer continued. "I really liked Assasin, but now they gotta go."

Now the pain in Caretaker's hand was like fire. They clenched their teeth, trying to block a pained noise. They asked, "What are you trying to do?"

"Destroy all non-magic folks," Healer shrugged. "Starting with you."

Healer laughed and stood up, "Have fun with your hand darling." She grabbed Caretaker's shirt and pulled them closer, "Enjoy the poison." She flicked a small needle out of her pants pocket with a short chortle and left without a word.

Caretaker sunk to their knees, cradling their hand. Hero scooted closer and grabbed it without warning.

Caretaker hissed and tried to take their injured hand back, but Hero held it strongly.

"What did you ever do to Healer?" Caretaker asked with a hiss of pain.

"I- uh," Hero's face reddened. "I went against the Hero Code a couple years back and might've caused an uproar against magic folk."

Well, that's great...

"But what about Villain? Aren't you two friends?" Caretaker asked.

"More than friends, cousins."

"But," Caretaker remembered the power suppressant drug. "They said that they didn't love you. If you guys are family-"

"I don't know," Hero gave a laughed. "They are like that."

Caretaker scrunched their eyebrows together. Wasn't that drug also a truth serum? Did it not work on Villain like Assasin hoped?

A sudden jolt of pain scared all of Caretaker's thoughts away. They pulled back against Hero's unyielding grip, but once again, they didn't let go.

"Stop that," Hero chided lightly and pressed the skin where the bullet wound once was. Then they pressed their nose against it, breathing deeply.

"What the-" Caretaker pulled their burning hand back, finally succeeding.

"I knew it," Hero sighed. Caretaker only hoped it was a sigh of relief.

"We gotta get you the antidote right away," Hero stood up quickly, swaying very slightly. They let out a tiny groan and pushed themselves towards Assasin's car.

Hero was able to get the car back onto the highway, all of their strength returning. Caretaker slumped in the passenger seat, their skin heating up with a sudden fever. They wanted so bad to close their eyes and fall asleep, but part of them did not trust Hero, and they had lots of questions.

"Where's this antidote?" Caretaker began. Hero glanced and them before answering, "I really don't know."

Caretaker furrowed their eyebrows. "Then where exactly are we going?" They asked.

"I don't know that either," Hero said. They clutched the steering wheel harder. They shut their eyes hard, almost gliding into the other lane...

"Hero!" Caretaker yelled louder than they thought possible. "Pay attention. Are you kidnapping me?"

"No," Hero said. "Quit with the questions. I know what I am doing. I just need to find an address."

Caretaker remained silent for a while before approaching them with question Number 2. "How come you aren't magical?"

"I gave it up," was Hero's curt reply.

"Oh," Caretaker didn't know what to say. They had a vague impression that magical abilities were special and that those who were gifted were... protective of them maybe?

"It was for the movement-"

"Movement?" Caretaker asked. "You went against your own cousin?"

Hero clenched their teeth and punched Caretaker's seat. Leaning over they growled, "Yes. Which is why Villain did not say that they loved me."

"Oh," Caretaker glanced at Hero's clenched fist that was uncomfortably close. Their fear made the pain spike again. But Hero's mentioning of Villain's lack of love reminded them of what else they confessed too. An address.

They reached for their phone very suddenly and selected the camera roll. The first video was of Villain on the couch. They played it.

"12... 127 N-n... 'th... Av... ave-avenue..." Villain slurred on the video.

"What was that?" Hero asked, trying to grab Caretaker's phone.

"An address," Caretaker replied, keeping their phone out of Hero's needy hands.

"127 North Avenue," Hero mumbled as they set up the GPS.

"That's their house address," Caretaker pointed out.

"It's not. They live across from my parents."

"But the truth serum..."

"Villain is resistant," Hero chuckled. "Odd isn't it?"

Very, Caretaker thought. More questions filled their already crowded head. How did Villain know about the address?

"They have some sort of power that gives them some insight of the future. It usually resolves around death," Hero practically read Caretaker's mind.

Oh. Caretaker rested their head against the window allowing the cool glass to soothe their hot forehead (they didn't comprehend Hero's casual mention of "death"). Gosh it felt so good...

After a while, they dozed off only awakening with a jolt as Hero suddenly pressed the brakes.

"We are here," Hero looked at them and quickly placed the back of their hand on Caretaker's forehead. Their eyes filled with worry as they pulled away. "Stay here," they ordered Caretaker.

Caretaker leaned back against the seat, happy that they didn't have to get up, and took in their surroundings. The address brought them to a white house with weathered sidings. The shingled roof was practically falling apart. The porch with the old swing reminded them of the "haunted" house in a horror movie. With the withered hanging flower pot, it was quite the aesthetic.

Caretaker's heavy eyes closed against their will. They tried to pry them open, only for the fever to shut them again. They squirmed, trying to get comfortable, self-consious about the way their face felt suddenly very greasy like they haven't washed it in a while. Their painful hand twitched. How much longer? Caretaker wondered and hugged themselves trying to suppress the aching shivers as they fell asleep.

Caretaker awoke to a sharp pain in their hand. They glanced over to Hero administrating a clear liquid into their hand. Too sick to respond, they just allowed Hero to do it.

"Villain saved you," Hero said once they noticed that Caretaker was awake. Caretaker just blinked, trying to comprehend what Hero just said.

"Sleep," Hero said with a comforting smile. "You will feel better once you wake."

Caretaker's eyes involuntarily closed as Hero started the car. They wondered for a moment where Hero was taking them this time. Was it to their home? Oh please be that, please.

Or, more likely, Hero was abducting them and dragging them to a hole in the earth...

Caretaker brushed that thought away. It was an insane option, but their delirious mind did not realize that.

They just hoped that they would be safe.

A few days later:

Assasin leaned against the wall. They had one hand over Villain's mouth and the other supporting their skinny body. Both were beyond exhaustion.

Assasin rested their head against the wall, feeling good with the tension relief. How long have they been hiding in the closest again?

Days.

Yes, its been days since Caretaker's death.

Assasin shut their eyes so tears would not spill. It was their fault. If only they just... no, Caretaker wanted them to protect Villain.

"Protect them with your life," They had said. "They are our only chance against Healer."

Villain suddenly begun to trash around. Assasin pulled them closer (not in a very nice way) and grabbed Villain's hair.

"Stay still," they snarled which only caused Villain to move around even more.

Assasin closed their eyes again after they got Villain to settle.

A few days ago, a healed Hero arrived at Assasin's home with a feverish Caretaker.

"Assasin," Hero had regarded them with suspicion. They remembered Assasin beating them up and Assasin knew this.

"Trade," Hero offered and handed Caretaker's sleeping form to them. "I want my cousin back."

"Villain is in critical condition," Assasin replied, greatfully taking Caretaker into their arms. They frantically searched for the bullet wound, only to find a small hole from a needle.

"Healer," they whispered happily. Hero furrowed their forehead and said, "Healer poisoned them."

A sudden crashing noise interrupted Assasin's memories. They pressed their hand over Villain's mouth even harder.

"Assasin!" came Supervillain's angry voice. Yes, they were back in the picture.

"All we want is to know where Hero is," Healer's voice sounded.

Assasin didn't reply. It would be easier to give up Hero's location. Assasin and Villain would be okay with Hero dead physically (not emotionally in Villain's case), but there were too many intercrossing deals in this situation.

Earlier, Hero pulled them aside with a gun to their head. Really, they weren't scared. All they had to do was command Hero to drop the gun.

But then Hero told them that this gun was going to be pointed at Villain if Hero was harmed at all. That meant no backstabbing.

Did Assasin care about Villain? No, but they had to honor Caretaker. It was the least they could do.

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - Lost in Translation EP02

Back by, possibly not popular, but certainly very enthusiastic demand: my sister’s and my continued adventures in mistranslation and cultural subtext. You can find EP01 here. Buckle up and settle in for another monster post because, wow, a lot happened in this episode. Contains spoilers. 

Prologue

We open with a sweeping view of Baekdudaegan as Yeon narrates about his past as the god who presided over it. For context, Baekdudaegan is the biggest and most famous mountain range in Korea, taking up an enormous swath of the Korean peninsula (to the extent that it’s often referred to as its ‘spine’ or ‘backbone’). So Yeon wasn’t lying when he said he was a ‘major’ mountain god. ;) 

Yeon: You could say these were my Leeds Days. I was the master of Baekdudaegan, a mountain god who controlled the wind and rain,* and a gumiho who was, from the start, of a different caliber than the mongrel foxes you see in Hometown of Legends.  ...Or, I was.”

[*Note: Can also be taken to mean ‘the natural elements’ in general.]

When Yeon refers to his ‘glory days,’ the term he uses is ‘Leeds Era’ (리즈시절). Originally a sporting term for the height of a footballer’s career, in Korean, the expression has come to be used to describe a person’s bygone glory days. The modern figure of speech (complete with English loan word) makes for a funny counterpoint to the Yeon we see on screen and recalls the mint-chocolate loving American TV show enthusiast we’ve known him as so far. 

The other modern reference he makes is to Hometown of Legends (전설의 고향), which has been the title of numerous dramas and movies (1977-2018) centered around Korean myths and legends. This is basically the equivalent of an alien referencing the X-files. Overall, the narration serves to remind us just how modern our gumiho has become and clashes humorously with the visual onscreen.

Yeon’s above narration concludes with the first appearance of little Ah Eum, who immediately proceeds to pet the mighty master of Baekdudaegan as if he were her pet dog pfft (thus the ‘....or I was.’) 

As an aside, tvN released some backstory information revealing that Ah Eum had gone to find Yeon in order to pray for rain. Which means she pet him in spite of that lol We also know from the past-life sequence in episode 10 that she had actually been warned never to venture anywhere near his mountain because a 1000 year old gumiho lived there. It’s almost as if her guardians don’t know her at all...

For anyone keeping track, Ah Eum uses banmal with Yeon from the very beginning. We find out why later. As a princess (even one who had been discarded), she’s used to outranking everyone around her and therefore speaking almost exclusively in banmal. To be fair, with her temperament, Yeon being a 1000+ year old mountain god probably just wasn’t enough to get him an automatic pass from her. Point for Ah Eum/Ji Ah character continuity. 

Yeon: If I could rewrite* my past just once, I would return to this moment without hesitation. So that that child could never find me. 

[*Note: Literally, ‘A/S my past,’ which I’m pretty sure has its roots in computer usage. So again, thoroughly modern vocabulary from the former master of Baekdudaegan.]

We transition from young to grown Ah Eum with a sweep of the Red Umbrella. According to tvN again, this umbrella was actually a gift from Ah Eum to Yeon, and it’s also the same umbrella Yeon still carries everywhere. It’s somewhat poetic, then, that it was this umbrella that lead Ji Ah to him. So, a meaningful item on multiple fronts. 

Yeon: Some called it, ‘the scandal of the age that shook Baekdudaegan.’ To think, a mountain god who had given his heart to a human... Nowadays, it would have felt like a disciplinary hearing, but I didn’t care a whit. I liked her [presence] permeating my woods. 

As you might have guessed, this love story ends in tragedy. Someone stole her life. Once she crossed the River of Three Crossings, I would never be able to see her again. I couldn’t hold on to her, but nor could I bear to let her go...so I resorted to abusing my power. 

The BGM playing as Yeon narrates the ending of his tragic story is ‘The Parting at the River of Three Crossings,’ which I think of as the epic love theme of TotNT alongside ‘Sad Fate.’ Why do I keep mentioning the BGM? No reason, other than that it interests me. ;)

On a linguistic note, Yeon’s line, ‘Someone stole her life’ caught my attention from the first time I watched this due to his unusual usage of the word ‘life.’ Korean has multiple words for ‘life.’ The one that would typically be used in this context is ‘moksoom’ (목숨), which I think of as having the nuance of one’s life force. So to steal one’s ‘moksoom’ would mean to kill them. Instead, he uses ‘insaeng’ (인생), which is more like the life one leads. To steal someone’s ‘insaeng’ sounds more like a case of identity theft. As we find out later, that actually is what Imoogi did, and this hinted at that linguistically. 

I’m not sure how well this translated, but the gesture of Yeon kneeling is both epic and heartbreaking. Kneeling is a very weighty gesture in Korea, so for Yeon to use his godly powers to freeze the very River to the Afterlife only to kneel and beg for one last moment with Ah Eum is just... It’s a momentous enough gesture for Taluipa, the ultimate stickler for rules, to make an exception and grant his request. 

The fox bead: In Japanese lore, a fox’s bead is often akin to its life force, but that’s clearly not the case for Yeon. In Korean lore, fox beads are sometimes called ‘the treasure of a fox’s lips,’ since the bead is supposedly located within the fox’s mouth (and can thus be stolen/gifted with a kiss). Some tellings claim that someone who swallows a fox’s bead gains understanding of all things and phenomena in the universe, while others say they grant the bearer’s wishes. 

Yeon continues his narration, describing how he’s encountered women with Ah Eum’s face over the centuries, but that none of them were her. For anyone interested, you can find my hot take on that here.

Okay, can we please have a spin-off of Yeon hunting down folklore monsters in Japanese-occupied Korea Gaksital (2012)-style?

Fun fact: Based on some of the still cuts they released, there was actually a deleted scene in which Yeon pulled the late-Joseon era Ah Eum look-alike aside, checked her for the fox bead, and then erased her memories. (And by ‘fun’ I mean, ‘why would you delete that??’)

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Iconic.

Fun fact: Lee Dong Wook picked this as the most memorable line of the drama due to it’s thematic echoing across multiple episodes. 

On the topic of the tranquilizer, there was a deleted scene in episode 1 in which Ji Ah very openly 'borrowed’ it from Shin Joo’s vet clinic because she already suspected Yeon was a fox: fox fur, Fox Ridge... She was taking a pretty big gamble though since he’s not exactly your average fox. 

It’s worth noting that Ji Ah doesn’t say she was ‘looking’ for Yeon (although she was, because she’s a go-get-‘em kind of girl); she says she was ‘waiting’ for him. I took this to mean she was waiting for him to return and make good on his threat to kill her (since, not only had she not forgotten, she’d been actively sticking her nose into anything remotely supernatural or unexplainable), at which point, presumably, she planned to turn the tables on him. 

Episode 02 Title Card: I’ve Been Waiting for You

For anyone wondering how Ji Ah managed to get Yeon back up to his penthouse, apparently she told the security desk her boyfriend was drunk and boldly took him back up in the elevator (presumably with help) haha

Possibly coincidentally, Yeon’s first line to Ji Ah when he regains consciousness is the same as his first line to little Ah Eum: ‘Do you want to die?’ (minus the sageuk speak)

Ji Ah’s line, “I wouldn’t be sipping tea here if I was worried about that,” would more literally be: “If I valued my life, would I be sitting here drinking flower tea?”

Lol Ji Ah. “Want a cup?” is such a classy power play. 

Sub: “After the stunt you pulled, you’re actually offering me tea?” Ha. Also, what Yeon literally says is: “You pulled that variety-esque stunt, and your next line is what? ‘A cup of tea’?” ‘Variety’ here is an English loan word meant in the sense of ‘variety shows’ (ex. Running Man or 1 Night 2 Days), though to my knowledge, no one has ever been tranquilized on one. 

The following exchange was littered with enough small things I would have changed that I’ll just translate the whole thing here for reference:

Ji Ah: When a man and a woman have that level of physical contact, don’t they usually also drink tea or eat meals together, too? These days, the whole pure and noble act doesn’t go far.

Yeon: Whether it does or not, when you’re at a disadvantage, isn’t it considered common courtesy to come [to the table] having put aside either your pride or your self-esteem [i.e. at least one of the two]? 

Ji Ah: Listen until the end before you determine who’s at a disadvantage.

Yeon: (Nodding) In exchange, if my thinking still doesn’t change, you’ll pay the price for having tested me. 

Ji Ah: Price?

Yeon: Your sight (literally ‘eyes’). I’ll be taking your eyes that have seen what they shouldn’t have.

Ji Ah: Deal. (literally, ‘call’ as in poker)

Rang & Yoo Ri Crash a Funeral

In the off chance you were wondering why this is basically the only time we see Rang driving Yoo Ri and not the other way around, it’s because Yoo Ri is ‘in character’ as the daughter of a major conglomerate and wouldn’t be expected to drive herself if there was another person in the car. In Korea, there’s a whole code of etiquette around who sits where in the car. 

Instead of ‘Lee Rang-nim’ the subs have Yoo Ri addressing Rang as ‘sir.’ That just strikes me as so distant and cold...

To my thinking, this scene was peak ‘Hoket-dan.’ It was nearly the same level of over-the-top campy as some of the old supervillains. If I’m being perfectly honest, I was worried at this point that Rang’s character would turn out to be equally 2D. Joke’s on me though, ‘cause this later became a hilarious character quirk when Sajang says to Rang, “It can’t be that you came to enjoy watching me die?” and Rang responds, “I love doing that! Look, I even brought popcorn. I even go about visiting funeral homes and stuff on purpose.” lol

Ji Ah’s Gamble

Okay, but Yeon actually took her up on tea haha I love it. 

Subs: “So you’re a fox that’s pretending to be human.” The word they use here (and throughout the drama) is ‘doongap’ (둔갑), which is literally ‘to assume the form of.’ Unfortunately, there’s no verb in English that neatly conveys that, so this gets subbed a lot of ways. I’ve mostly been translating it as ‘transform,’ but that’s more properly ‘byeonshin’ (변신). Sometimes with translation, the best option still isn’t great. 

It’s also worth noting that this is actually not what Yeon is doing here, since he sees those sorts of tricks as beneath him. Yeon is a cheon’ho; his human form is his own. 

Sub: “What a lame reaction. A normal human being would scream...” More literally: “What kind of reaction is so lacking in sincerity? Generally, if [you’re] a human, I should at least get a scream...” Again, both ‘reaction’ and ‘scream’ are in English, and, somewhat humorously, Yeon uses the verb + juda (주다) form, implying he was hoping to elicit a scream with his reveal pfft

Sub: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere out in this world. I started directing a TV show about urban legends so I could catch you myself.” This is mostly fine, but what she says more literally is: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere in this world. In order to catch [one] myself, I buried my bones in a TV show about urban legends.” To ‘bury ones bones’ means ‘to devote oneself entirely to’ and implies more drive and dedication than in the sub. The subject is once again omitted, so she could mean Yeon, but I think she actually means ‘things like Yeon’ more generally. 

Yeon’s line to Ji Ah when she asks him about their long ago encounter was subbed as: “I followed the smell of blood, and I ended up saving a little kid. But I can see that she’s very ungrateful.”  I would translate this as:

Yeon: I smelled blood and followed it, and ended up saving some little girl (lit. young child), but now I see that that child is trying to repay a favor with enmity.

The expression Yeon uses here, to ‘repay a favor (eunhye) with enmity (wonsoo),’ is a common turn of phrase. It’s the Korean equivalent of ‘biting the hand that feeds you,’ or ‘repaying good with ill.’ Considering eunhye has actual consequences for Yeon, he doesn’t seem all that put out. 

Lol Something about Lee Dong Wook’s delivery of Yeon’s line, “So you lost your parents...” reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote: ‘To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’ 

Sub: “I’m not threatening you. I’m taking my chances.” This should be: “You’re mistaken. I’m not threatening; I’m gambling.” This turn of phrase is rather clever in Korean since ‘threat’ (협박) and ‘gamble’ (도박) are only one syllable off. In terms of the subs, while ‘gambling’ and ‘taking my chances’ are similar on the surface, they’re different enough in nuance that I would consider this a mistranslation. ‘Gambling’ implies an informed, calculated risk, whereas ‘taking my chances’ gives the impression of improvisation and leaving everything up to luck. 

The Funeral Parlour

This scene is Rang in a nutshell. I actually don’t have much to comment on linguistically, but it was definitely an important scene for establishing Rang’s MO and motivations. 

Shin Joo & Yeon

Yeon and Shin Joo meet up at the ice cream parlour to debrief on the situation with Ji Ah, and it’s cute how Shin Joo is more indignant over what went down than Yeon.

Subs: “It’s like we exist to repay people for their kindness.” This has been grossly paraphrased due to lack of cultural context. His line is literally: 

Shin Joo: It’s not as if we’re magpies meticulously repaying our eunhye! Geez, how long do we have to be bound by that sort of premodern contractual relationship?” 

This is another Korean folktale reference, this time to the story of The Grateful Magpies. I elaborated on it a bit here.

Yeon: “It’s old-fashioned but romantic. And it's also a fox’s dignity.”  ‘Romantic’ here is the French loan word ‘romang’  (로망). In contrast to the English ‘romantic’ (which is also used), ‘romang’ is used to refer to ‘anything marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized.’ ‘Dignity’ could also be translated as ‘grace of character.’ Yeon’s preoccupation with style/swagger/dignity is enough of a recurring theme (and occasional joke) that it features in his character profile.

For anyone keeping track, Shin Joo refers to Ah Eum as ‘Ah Eum agasshi.’ ‘Agasshi’ meaning ‘miss’ or ‘lady.’

Shin Joo’s line is subbed, “Does she bother you?” but it should be: ‘Does it bother you?’ where ‘it’ refers to the fact that Ji Ah so closely resembles Ah Eum. 

Sub: “I’ve seen tons of people who looked like her for hundreds of years.” It’s actually not ‘tons of people,’ but ‘a couple’/‘several’ over the course of hundreds of years. Let’s be honest, people as pretty as Jo Bo Ah just aren’t born every day. ;)

Yeon’s line may be overly blunt, but it’s sweet that he calls Shin Joo, ‘Shin Joo-ya.’

Back over to Ji Ah. The way this scene suddenly switches from sentimental to horrifying is great. I also like that it’s unclear when she fell asleep. The boundary between reality and unreality is as blurred for the viewers as it is for Ji Ah, and it leaves us with a similar sense of disquiet.

In case it wasn’t already clear, it’s the tooth on this skull that leads Ji Ah to Eohwa Island. She sees a skull with an identical tooth in the news and goes to investigate. 

Afterlife Immigration Office

LOL Hyeonuiong briefing the newly departed on death via powerpoint is hilarious. The powerpoint reads: ‘A Guide to Hell for the Dead, Presenter: Hyeonuiong.’  The red sigil on the right bears the characters ‘十王’ (the Ten Kings), so I guess this is an official, Afterlife-approved slideshow. heh

Side note: I’m impressed with the way this show seamlessly shifts between genres. We went from emotional to creepy to funny without it feeling forced or jarring (or at least, it didn’t to me). 

The powerpoint (complete with webtoon) continues cheerily: “Hell! What is the Afterlife?” / “The 10 Types of Hell.” pfft Who made these slides? Whoever they are, point to them.

Subs: “You know King Hades, right?” WOW This is bordering on cultural whitewashing if you ask me. This should be King Yeomra (aka King Enma). He’s one of the Ten Kings of the Afterlife, and quite arguably the most famous. 

The sub here says Taluipa is Yeomra’s older sister, which is understandable since the antiquated word Hyeonuiong uses (누이), doesn’t specify older or younger. We find out in the final episode, though, that Taluipa is actually Yeomra’s younger sister. As far as I’m aware, this is not part of the original lore.

Lol Yeon being a drama king: “I’m going to take revenge! Thanks to her, my obligatory military service has already gone on for 600 years~!” (You’re not fooling anyone, sir)

“No way! A man’s hair is his life! My red-brown...” Fun fact: It was actually Lee Dong Wook’s idea to make Yeon’s hair red-brown, both as a nod to him being a fox, and to give him a more otherworldly look. 

Why do the gods keep saying reincarnation is random when everyone we see reincarnated kept their face??

‘Oh my god” lol Watching kdrama characters react in English never gets old. Possibly because there’s something exaggerated or overdramatic in the conscious decision to use English instead of Korean.

A++ response from Yeon. I saw something going around to the effect of, ‘this show really just said love is love,’ and I love that. Point to the writer. 

The BGM here is once again ‘Thread Rings.’ Given where it keeps being used, I’m fairly certain they’re somehow related to Ji Ah/Ah Eum... (So I guess there actually is a reason I’m paying attention to the BGM ;p).  Lee Dong Wook just disclosed the behind the scenes scoop on the rings in his latest VLIVE.

This bulgasari is such a mild-mannered person. Like Shin Joo, he calls Ji Ah ‘PD-nim’ and speaks politely and deferentially. 

Not for anything, but I really liked Jo Bo Ah’s delivery of Ji Ah’s line, ‘I saw a corpse.’ Her little mannerisms really sold Ji Ah to me as a person and not just a character.  

Bulgasari: “That dream, can you sell it to me? I want to play the lottery.” In addition to the concept of symbolism in dreams, Koreans also have a common notion that dreams can be bought and sold. It’s funny, though, when you consider he’s probably just planning to eat the dream. 

I love whenever Taluipa calls Yeon, ‘Yeon-ah.’ She’s normally so prickly that it’s notable when she's affectionate. Also, seeing as Yeon is older than 95% of our characters, there aren’t many who might address him like this with the affectionate diminutive. 

Heh, Yeon refers to Ji Ah’s favor as a ‘civil complaint.’

When Yeon asks Ji Ah for her parent’s times and dates of birth, what he’s actually asking for is their ‘saju’ (literally, ‘four pillars’). You can find my explanation here.

The Snail Bride

Bok Hye Ja: “It’s the first time he’s brought someone (literally ‘a person’).” Normally this would mean, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a guest,’ but in this case, I’m fairly certain she means, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a human.’ ;)

“I won’t ask you to understand.” This was another exchange that made me love Ji Ah. I found her frank and sincere apology refreshing.

On a personal note, I loved watching Yeon recalibrate his estimation of Ji Ah in this scene. And it was also a scene in which viewers got to recalibrate their impressions of Yeon. Yeon is feigning indifference, but he makes a point of asking after Ji Ah’s feelings, which is not insignificant. It’s also in sharp contrast to what we’ve seen of Rang so far.

Oh my gosh, THAT PUFFBALL DOG (and it’s name is Bean-ie) XD

Minor detail, but where did Shin Joo get his necklace? Wait. OH MY GOD. Shin Joo is the Aquaman of TotNT. Yeon gets to be Batman and Superman rolled into one and Shin Joo’s power is that he ‘talks to fish animals.’ Dead. 

Lol Ji Ah watching Yeon eat. I feel like this is a running joke. In the tales, gumiho notoriously eat people’s livers, so seeing him eat normal food must be a bit eye-opening. 

The text description for Shin Don was left untranslated in the version we’re watching but it reads: In A History of Goryeo, there’s record of Shin Don, a monk from the time of King Gongmin’s reign (1351-1374 C.E.), having been an old fox.

Subs: “Is it true that the monk of Goryeo Dynasty was a fox?” Us: ‘Yes, the one monk in all of Goryeo and for all of Goryeo. Guess he’d have to have been a fox in that case.’ This should probably have been translated as: "So then, Shin Don...is it a fact that the Goryeo monk Shin Don was a fox?”

Ji Ah: “Oh my god.” heh

Do You Really Want to See It?

Wait, they walked all the way from Insadong to Digital Media City? Okay, this is one of the (few) pitfalls of being fairly familiar with Seoul. Sometimes it’s really obvious when two locations don’t connect and then it pulls me out of the drama. I think we’re supposed to believe that the Snail Bride is in the vicinity of Ji Ah’s broadcast station, seeing as her team are lunchtime regulars, but the the two neighborhoods are nowhere near each other.

Yeon’s line in the subs here is: “A. I’m a busy man. B. We may currently be living in the same world, but there is a big difference between where we come from.” Personally, I would have translated this as: “Firstly, I haven’t got that much free time. Secondly, we may be unavoidably living mingled together, but the world I belong to and the world you belong to are incontrovertibly different.”

Subs: “Those who got a peek at my world ended up going crazy or dying young.” More literally: “In the past, there have been those who got a glimpse of the world’s secrets. Well, most of them either went mad or had their lives cut short.”

Minor detail, but Ji Ah’s response subbed as: “I don’t care. I’ll stay out of your way. Just don’t disappear.” should more literally be: “Just don’t disappear from my sight (lit. ‘from before me’).”

The sub on Ji Ah’s line here reads: “She (Sae Rom) and I both had nightmares.” What she actually says is: “Me and my hubae also had nightmares,” meaning that she (Ji Ah) and Jae Hwan had nightmares in addition to Sae Rom. Which is why Yeon refers to them as ‘contagious’. 

Okay, is it just me, or does LDW look exceptionally unreal in this scene? 

Bulgasari

I’m not familiar with the actor who plays the bulgasari (pretty sure he’s a new face), but he did a great job making his movements uncanny here. The firey CG effects are fun too.

Heck yeah! Yeon sure knows how to make an entrance. Seeing as how he instructed Ji Ah on what to do, I’m pretty sure he was there the whole time......show-off.

Once again, I’m digging the fight scene underscored by ‘The Uninvited.’ I would happily watch an entire series that’s just Yeon and Ji Ah solving supernatural cases and hunting down baddies who disturb the peace. 

The Smirk™ XD  I’m 90% sure this was another LDW ad lib.  

Lol Yeon. Subs: “Really? Then am I the jerk here?” More literally: “Really? Then I guess I’m the only bad guy, huh?” 

On a linguistic note, the bulgasari speaks to Yeon in old-timey speech, once again playing up their mutual identity as creatures of lore. 

It’s only at this point that, prompted by Ji Ah, Yeon finally reveals the bulgasari’s identity. This is accompanied by a brief chyron telling us that they appear when the world is in disorder, and Ji Ah supplies that they eat nightmares. 

To elaborate a bit, bulgasari are one of the better known Korean creatures of lore. There are two different sets of hanja for them: (bulgasari 不可殺伊 ‘can-not-kill’) and (bulgasari 火可殺伊 ‘fire-can-kill’), which explains why, depending on the telling, they’re either un-killable or only die by fire. In traditional lore, feeding them metal makes them grow larger and stronger, which, while not the case in TotNT, is probably what inspired the coin-gobbling. 

Subs: “Yes they are especially fond of broadcasting studios, which are packed with people. Eating metal reveals their true identities.” That subtitle went a bit sideways. It’s not that they like broadcast stations in particular, but crowded places like broadcast stations. So it should read: “They like places with lots of people, like the broadcast station, and if you feed them metal, they reveal their true colors.”

Okay, Yeon’s line that’s subtitled as, “The hostage will answer,” is more literally: “Hey, hostage. Try answering me.” It’s worth noting that, while he calls her ‘injil-bun’ (injil = hostage + bun = the polite word for a person), he’s still speaking to her in banmal, so he’s once again being cheeky. 

It’s taking some license, but I would translate Yeon’s question to Ji Ah here as: “In this moment,* what exactly can you do other than rely on me to save you?” which is essentially what he means. [*Note: literally, ‘at this timing,’ and once again, ‘timing’ is in English.]

We get a series of short scenes lining up some of the side characters who will become our key players on the island: the fisherman find the severed head, Ji Ah grills Detective Baek about the case, and Rang approaches Pyung Hee with his usual devil’s bargain pitch. I didn’t really notice anything here that I think is important enough to the central plot or characters that it’s worth commenting on (especially given how massively long this post is already), so I’m just going to call it good and move right along. ;)

Pfft I definitely wasn’t expecting the bulgasari to be literally chilling in Yeon’s freezer (not that he had a choice). This is somewhat interesting given they’re typically thought to be weak to fire, not ice. 

Subs: “I’ll die even if I tell you where he is.” More literally: “Whether I die in this way [by Yeon’s hand], or that [by Rang’s], it is all the same.” 

Brother Complex

Sub: “Don’t even think of hurting her.” More literally: “Just try touching one hair on her head.”

Oh my gosh Rang’s face ㅠㅠ This was the first time I felt Kim Beom really got to display his acting chops in this role, and boy, was I glad to see it. This was also when I knew Rang was going to make me cry. 

Yeon: “You’re acting like this because you lack affection.” The expression Yeon uses is ‘aejeong gyeolpip,’ which literally does mean ‘affection lack/want/absence,’  but I would have translated it as ‘affection-starved,’ since saying Rang ‘lacks affection’ could also be interpreted to mean Rang is incapable of expressing affection. 

Yeon: “Why’s that?” Lol Lee Dong Wook. Also, this one line is cheekily in polite speech.

Subs: “Just because of a woman you gave up your position as a mountain spirit, left the mountain, and you even...” More literally: “Just because of one mere human woman you gave up your position as a mountain god, turned your back on the mountain, and..!!” 

Yeon: “Yes, I know. I even abandoned you.” Rang-ah~ ㅠㅠ I recently received an ask as to whether or not I believed Yeon had truly abandoned Rang, which I answered here.

Oof, Yeon giving Rang advice as an older brother. In Korea, nagging is seen as a sign of affection. You may recall Ji Ah was very excited for her dad to nag her about her boyfriend in episode 12. 

Sub: “You crazy fool.” Rang literally calls his brother a ‘michin nom,’ ‘michin’ meaning ‘crazy.’ ‘Nom’ is a pronoun that, depending on how it’s used, can mean anything from ‘guy,’ to ‘jerk,’ to ‘bastard.’ 

Sub: “I don’t need to know.” Actually: “There’s no need [for you to tell me].” The two are subtly different. Yeon’s saying he’ll find out on his own, not that he doesn’t want to know.

Fun fact: Kim Beom said in his script reading interview (before they started filming) that he was a bit worried about his onscreen dynamic with Lee Dong Wook because, while Rang has to hate Yeon, LDW is a hyung that KB likes so much in real life. What a cutie. 

We cut briefly over to Ji Ah on the phone with Jae Hwan, asking him to look after Sae Rom while she chases down the skull lead. 

As an aside here, Ji Ah calls Sae Rom, ‘Kim-jak’ (short for ‘jakga,’ meaning ‘writer’). In Korea, it’s common to refer to someone by their role or title. This might indicate distance, but Ji Ah’s shortening it makes the term familiar and speaks of their camaraderie.  In the subtitles, this has become, ‘Ms. Kim,’ which is oddly distant given their frenemyship. 

The Island

Is it just me, or does it feel like there should have been a scene here explaining how and why Yeon came to be on the boat? I’m assuming it got deleted due to time constraints, but I feel like it was needed. 

Pfft The way Ji Ah pops up from behind Yeon, cutting comically into the dramatic shot of Lee Dong Wook’s windswept profile + BGM was great.

In case it wasn’t already apparent, Kimite patches are used to alleviate sea sickness, so this is further undermining the mood of a second ago haha

Yeon’s line is subbed: “I’d like to keep it to myself,” but this should more literally be: ‘Let’s each work individually/play it solo.’ 

Sub: “No, thank you.”  What Yeon actually says: “Hard pass.” hahaha (Literally: ‘I’ll immediately/urgently decline,’ but tonally, ‘hard pass’ is closer). 

The subs have Yeon’s line as: “You need to be careful what you pay attention to.” I would have translated this as: “If that’s the reason [you’ve come], go back. You mustn’t recklessly lend an ear [to such things].” His tone and phrasing are both surprisingly gentle. 

Subs: “My guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious combination.” Well, my guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious sub haha I would have translated Yeon’s voiceover as:

Yeon: The same boat...the same island...a woman with the same face as that girl. My instincts speak to me relentlessly, telling me there’s something amiss about this combination.

Pfft The contrast between Ji Ah's dismount from the boat and Yeon’s. 

Lol Yeon’s ‘excuse me’ was totally rude 

For the record, from the moment Yeon sets foot on the island, he speaks to everyone in banmal. That’s bad form towards any stranger, but it’s especially rude considering their age. Sure, Yeon’s way older, but they don’t know that. 

Ji Ah mouthing “What?” in English haha

Yeon clocking the effectively creepy villagers. Turns out the right BGM and camerawork can make anything creepy. Point to the director.

Settling in on the Island

Ji Ah’s line subbed as, “I thought you didn’t want to be involved,” should more properly be: “I thought you just said we should each play it solo?”

Yeon’s line is similarly mis-subbed as: “I changed my mind. Don’t let it bother you.” What he actually says is much ruder: “I’ll do what I want! Butt out.” Which explains Ji Ah’s affront heh

Lol Yeon walking right in front of the camera. Anyone who has ever had a pet recognized this moment.

I love how Yeon is being completely tactless and insensitive but then grudgingly course-corrects when Ji Ah glares daggers at him. 

Fisherman (subs): “It gives me a bad feeling in my mouth.” Excuse me, what? haha The line is: “The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.”

Lol Ji Ah: “In the documentaries I watched, they say digging holes is your speciality” (complete with digging gesture).  

Fun fact: Ji Ah blocking the way with her leg and Yeon burrowing under it was something Jo Bo Ah and Lee Dong Wook came up with themselves. Ji Ah’s line was scripted, but I’m nearly positive Yeon’s comeback of, “Burrowing is my speciality,” was an ad lib by Lee Dong Wook. Once again, casting Lee Dong Wook is the gift that keeps on giving. 

WAIT. Subs: “You can’t go.” / “Borrowing is my specialty.” Hahaha What even? Cheon’ho Lee Yeon: professional mooch. 

The way we then cut to Yeon ‘burrowing’ into a freezer of ice cream is just perfect. Point to the director. 

Once again, Yeon is talking to all the village elders in banmal.

“You have a terrible service mentality.” pfft

OH. Ji Ah’s response to the misogynistic fisherman is just A++ 

Her line here is literally: “Oops, I’m afraid I’m overflowing with ‘jeong.’”  ‘Jeong’ (情) can be a little hard to translate. It literally means ‘emotion’ or ‘affection,’ but the way it’s used linguistically can be a bit complex. The sub here was: “I’m afraid I was too generous,” which I actually think is pretty decent. The turn of phrase in Korean though, using the word ‘overflowing’ while over-pouring on the man, made her response doubly witty.

Hah. I love the way Yeon just raises his eyebrows when he comes out of the market and spots her.

Subs: “How dare a witch from outside come here and...” He actually calls her a ‘michin nyeon’ meaning ‘crazy bitch,’ so the line is: “Crazy bitch, where do you think this is that you dare...”

Ji Ah’s line that begins, “If you’re going to hit me...” is just SO great. We stan (1) queen. 

Subs: “Nice. You’re tough.” This is a bit hard to translate. Yeon’s line is literally: “Oh~ What ggang is like this?” ‘Ggang’ can be translated as ‘guts,’ ‘tenacity,’ or ‘persistence.’ Naver dictionary describes it as: ‘a personal trait found in one who never gives in, when put in whatever difficulties,’ which is so spot on for Ji Ah. I might approximate this as: “Woah~ Just how gutsy are you?” 

The way he's just like, ‘I approve. Here, have a shikhye~’ is mildly adorable. Did you buy that for her, Yeon, or were you planning on having two but decided she’d earned one? haha

Ji Ah’s response is equally great. The sub says: “That was nothing.” which isn’t a bad option for a subtitle, but what she literally says is ‘saesam-seureopge’ (새삼스럽게), where ‘saesam’ means ‘now? at this point? after all this time?’ So she’s basically saying, ‘You’re bothering with that observation, over that little stunt, after everything else you’ve seen me do?’ haha

“I plan to mooch off of you as much as possible.” Pfft I love how Yeon actually moves to stand behind her just to underscore the point. That’ll be Lee Dong Wook again. 

Wow, these are some sketchy old people.

Subs: “People aren’t the only ones with eyes and mouths.” What he actually says is, “Are people the only ones with eyes and ears?”

The Forest Spirit

Wow, the lighting in this scene is just A++ Point to the lighting team (or is that just natural? It feels almost too pretty to have just been natural). 

I was too distracted by Lee Dong Wook to notice the first time, but Ji Ah’s face when Yeon shushes her is great haha

On a linguistic note, this scene is one of the few in which Yeon code switches to archaic speech as he’s addressing the tree spirit. It’s the linguistic equivalent of him putting on his ‘mountain god’ hat. (He still speaks to Ji Ah normally, though). 

We cut briefly to the mudang (shamaness), and I’m sorry, I know this is a traditional way of speaking, but it always makes me laugh because it’s so over-the-top.

The spirit addresses Ji Ah as ‘agasshi,’ which would be strange if she was actually a modern young girl, but makes sense for a spirit who’s at least 600. Overall, it helps to remind viewers of her supernatural-ness. 

Yeon telling Ji Ah she did a good job is so cute. I feel like they’re rapidly becoming a quirky tag-team duo and I’m 100% here for it. 

Mudang: “His body returned to shore before his head did! Your father!” This line was explained in the backstory collection.

Okay, the mudang needs to dial it back like 10 levels here. 

Possibly just me, but Yeon swatting the air with his hand as he peers into the cave struck me as vaguely fox-like. 

Minor detail again, but the chyron here is subbed as ‘Jangsansa Cave.’ It’s actually ‘Jangsan sagool,’ not ‘Jangsansa gool.’ ‘Sagool’ is written with the characters 蛇窟 meaning ‘snake hole.’

Lol Yeon freezing mid-motion when Ji Ah tells him to stay put. That is 110% Lee Dong Wook’s sense of humour. Praise the drama gods for Lee Dong Wook - this show wouldn’t have been half as fun without him.

Fun fact: This cave is actually intimately tied to Ah Eum’s past with Imoogi and the story of how she came to be his ‘bride’ (read: sacrifice). I translated the tvN description here. I actually think this was fairly important information, so it’s a shame it wasn’t covered in the drama. 

Sleepover with a Gumiho 

When Ji Ah asks Yeon why he’s insisting on staying at Pyung Hee’s, his response is subbed as: “I have my reasons.” This is more properly: “You don’t need to know.”

Sub: “We don’t eat that crap!” Yeon’s line doesn’t have a subject, but this should properly be: “I don’t eat that crap!” We know from Yeou Nui that some gumiho in this world actually do eat liver. 

“Heard of the Chinese liver fluke?” Ha. Yeon literally says ‘kan distoma,’ i.e. ‘liver distomiasis’ or ‘liver fluke’. While there was a well-known outbreak in China, it isn’t inherently Chinese. There’s a Korean word for it too (간흡충), but once again, Yeon opts for the loan word, adding further humour to the gumiho disavowing liver consumption - for health reasons, no less pffft

The BGM playing as Yeon sees Ah Eum in Ji Ah is once again ‘Parting at the River of Three Crossings.’

Bok Hye Ja’s line to Shin Joo is subbed as: “He went to the island to find this reincarnated girl?” The word she uses is actually ‘gakshi,’ which is an antiquated word generally meaning ‘bride’ (as in ‘the Snail Bride’), but it can also just mean ‘young woman.’

For the record, the Snail Bride speaks to Shin Joo in banmal, who speaks to her in jondaetmal

Shin Joo: “Contrary to how he looks, he’s the devoted type, after all.” Et tu, Shin Joo? 

Shin Joo’s line is subbed: “As if that’s a good thing,” but I would have translated it as: “Romantic, my foot!”

Sub: “At least once in our lives we come across that one person we want to give our lives to.” This should be: ‘risk our lives for.’ 

Sub: “I won’t ever devote myself to love. My goal will be to protect Mr. Lee.” Actually: “I won’t ever risk my life for love. I’m going to protect Lee Yeon-nim!”

“Well that can also be called love, can’t it?” Thank you for this, Show. I know some people think TotNT champions romantic love above all else, but I simply don’t agree. 

When Yeon checks Ji Ah again for his fox bead, the BGM playing is once again ‘Thread Rings’

I love how they did the CG on whatever is happening with Yeon’s powers here. I would have loved to have gotten more of an explanation of the fox bead and its powers (and Yeon’s, for that matter), but alas. 

I love that Yeon tucks Ji Ah in even after re-confirming (or so he thinks) that she isn’t Ah Eum. It was important to me that he came to like and appreciate her for herself before learning that she was, in fact, his lost love. 

Morning on the Island

Ji Ah wakes to find Yeon gone, the blanket tucked around her, and her expression tells us she’s onto him: sure, Yeon can be a grump, but he’s also a complete softie. heh

Yeon is, once again, talking to the elders in banmal. Why do I keep mentioning it? Because no matter how many times I see it it’s still funny.

Okay, Lee Dong Wook has this way of pointing at things with his entire arm that I find ticklish. Yeon ends up coming across like a petulant child. On a cultural note, in Korea, pointing at people like this is considered impolite.

Yeon dangling the ginseng behind Ji Ah as extra incentive pfft Wild ginseng can be massively expensive in Korea (on the order of hundreds of dollars), so this is actually a very effective bribe. 

Also, can we take a moment to appreciate that Yeon woke up before dawn, and, instead of going back to sleep, went into the mountains to hunt for wild ginseng, then set about using it to bribe the elders into answering Ji Ah’s questions for her. Entirely of his own accord. Like I said: softie. 

Side note: Lee Dong Wook’s eyebrows are working overtime in this scene and I’m honestly a little jealous. 

The newspaper Jae Hwan finds at the library is dated August 13, 1954, which Ji Ah immediately recognizes as having been just after the Korean War (if you’ll recall, this is when the forest spirit told them something ominous had come to the island). 

This newspaper is actually really cool. You can see how, in the past, Korean newspapers used a lot of hanja in addition to the phonetic hangeul, similar to modern Japanese. The headline reads, “Headless Corpse, Discovered on Eohwa Island, Investigation Hits Dead End.” (頭 없는 屍身, 漁花島에서 發見, 捜査 迷宮으로). 

Okay, to be honest, this final scene - absent the extra context given in the next episode - made me question Ji Ah’s smarts again. I wondered why she was chasing down the clearly unstable guy just to question him, but it makes sense once you know she meant to warn him his life was in danger. 

As usual, Yeon knows how to make an entrance. Cue ‘Gumiho’ theme. 

Yeon stopping when Ji Ah tells him to never stops being satisfying. 

The BGM playing as we cut over to Rang is ‘The House of Ghosts.’ 

Okay, those shots of Thirsty and Hungry were full-on horror movie and I actually kind of like it? I never watch horror as a genre, but for some reason, I found I missed this spooky element when it dropped out of the later episodes. 

Oh, I like that Yeon went and made her a poultice. Very ex-mountain god of you, sir. 

“Long time no see, Lee Yeon.” Iconic. And creepy. I love the attention to detail Jo Bo Ah displays in the difference between how she acts Ji Ah vs. Imoogi. Imoogi’s voice is higher pitched, and gives off more of a loose-cannon feel compared to Ji Ah, who speaks in a lower, more grounded tone. 

Sub: “It’s me. The person you’ve been waiting for.” Imoogi literally says: “It’s me. That thing you’ve been waiting for.” This is obviously a big clue since normally one wouldn’t refer to oneself in such a way. It also reflects the fact that, unlike Terry-Imoogi, Jimoogi perceives no value in Ji Ah herself. (Yes, I call Ji Ah-Imoogi ‘Jimoogi,’ and sadly, no, I didn’t come up with it). 

Yikes, Jimoogi tracing Yeon’s face was all menace and zero cute. Point to Jo Bo Ah.

Boy, this show really knows how to make an exit.

Blue Mooooooooon!! The guitar (bass?) riff is just so catchy. 

And that concludes Episode 2. Thank you to everyone who commented on the first one. If not for your encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have continued. I also genuinely enjoy hearing from people, so send me your thoughts! This is a weird, unprecedented mashup of a live reaction post, behind the scenes info, and detailed language and culture notes, and I’m still learning how to balance the three. Your feedback is always welcome. 

I’d also like to take a moment to credit my sister, who, in addition to weighing in on a lot of the translations, is also the chief researcher and fact checker for these. I, meanwhile, am in charge of bad jokes and snark. I mentioned before that these take longer than you might expect, but it’s really true. The time we spend watching the episode is actually the least of it, and as much as I enjoy them, they are a huge time suck. 

So. This is what I’m going to do. If you’d like to see more of these, or if you enjoyed this, or if you’ve enjoyed any of the translations or commentary or whatnot I’ve been posting recently, please consider buying me a coffee. If you follow the link, you can buy me a $2 cup of virtual coffee. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve decided to give it a try. It’ll help me to gauge how much interest there is, and, possibly more importantly, it will help me to justify all the time haha. If and when I’ve established there’s enough interest, I’ll proceed with Episode 3. ;)

[neverending-space]

Jim Moriarty x reader

A/n: So whenever I’m procrastinating, I write stories and I thought, why not share them, you know, cause I’ve been putting off writing ‘Get away’ and I was watching Reichenbach Fall

Note: there’s no real conclusion, it’s just for fun.

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“There’s been another one! Pentonville!!” Donovan threw her phone down as Greg swerved past other cars in desperation. “Greg you’re gonna kill us!!” You shouted, holding onto the seat in front of you. The minute the car stopped, you, Donovan and Greg ran out the car and into the building, putting on Kevlar vests (just in case) on your way to the vault. The vault opened and there, sitting on the throne in all his Irish glory, decked out in the Crown Jewels, was James Moriarty. “No rush.” He said in a carefree manner, waving his hand for theatrics. ‘God I love that man...’ You thought, snapping a picture of him before SWAT cuffed him. “What are you doing!?” Donovan asked you, venom laced in her voice. “What do you thing I’m doing Donovan? This is literally the coolest thing ever.” You sigh, putting your phone in your back pocket. As SWAT marched James past you, he stopped and leaned in. “Send that to me, will you darling?” He winked as they pulled him away. You struggled hard to keep the blush off of your face. Ever since the bombing case two years ago (which John dubbed ‘The Great Game’) you had had an incredibly annoying infatuation with the criminal. You would often get little notes signed with a simple ‘JM’. You knew it was a terrible idea to get emotionally invested, but oh well right? Greg gave you a strange look as you two were walking out to wait for John and Sherlock. “What?” You ask, turning you head slightly to get a better look at him. “Nothin” He brushed you off. “Greg...” You sighed, shaking your head. “It’s just- you act... weird around him.” He jerked his head in the direction of Moriarty’s departing police car. “I act weird around everyone.” You roll your eyes, but you can feel the heat returning to your face. “I know, it’s just- different. Did he do something to you?” He asked, fatherly concern showing on his face. “No. This line of questioning is over.” You cross your arms and take a defensive stance as the boys arrive. “Garry, what did you say to my sister?” Sherlock sauntered up as Greg threw his hands in the air. “C’mon you two, I’ll show you the footage.” You beckon them as you started walking. Unfortunately Sherlock is a million times taller than you, so he caught up easily. “Are you okay?” He asked, his curls blowing in his face. “I’m fine Sherl, it’s my thing, Greg was just concerned that’s all.” He looked at you, confusion now etched in his features, as if he was silently asking ‘who?’. You let out a snort of laughter and his face relaxed.

“Remember, he’s a psychopath, he’s insane!!” Greg yelled after you as you make your way to the interrogation room that Jim currently inhabited. You opened the door, looking back at Greg you yelled, “I’m a big girl dad, I can take care of myself.” You hear Jim chuckle as you close the door and sit down. “Hey man, how’s prison?” You ask, taking out a notepad and pen. He looked at you skeptically. “You’re going to take notes..?” He asked, annoyance evident in his voice. “Pff no! I’m not an idiot! I tend to doodle when I get bored.” You said, spinning the pen between your fingers. Slowly, he put his hands widespread on the table and stood up, leaning forward. “Is that a challenge...?” He asked, his tone dangerous. You mirrored him and held eye contact. “Damn straight.”

You were hanging out with Sherlock in his flat when the phone rang. After a few moments he hung up. “Not guilty?” You asked, following him to the kitchen. He hummed a response before putting the kettle on. You jumped to reach a high shelf and grabbed a box of biscuits. Sherlock snorted when he saw you. “Aw shut up long legs.” You grumbled, pulling a few biscuits onto a plate. You set them on the small table beside John’s chair as Sherlock picked up his violin. You picked up your copy of ‘IT’ and flopped onto the couch as you heard the stairs creak. “Most people knock.” You said, not looking up. “...But then again, you’re not most people... are you?” Sherlock asked, turning around. “Kettles just boiled.” Putting your book down at the mention of tea, you took in Moriarty’s appearance. He was wearing a nice white button up with matching grey pants and a blazer. He was also wearing a cool looking tie pin. “Johann Sebastian would be appalled” He said, picking up an apple out of the bowl that you had placed, his Irish drawl as prominent as ever. “May I?” He asked, tossing the apple up in the air and catching it again. “Please.” Sherlock said, using his violin bow to gesture towards John’s seat. Being the devil he was, Jim chose to sit in Sherlock’s seat instead, shooting a smirk in your direction. “You know when he was on his death bed, Bach, he heard his son at the piano playing one of his... pieces. The boy stopped before he got to the end-“ Sherlock interrupted him. “The dying man jumped out of his bed, ran straight to the piano and finished it.” He said, pouring tea. “Couldn’t cope with an unfinished melody.” You and Jim said at the same time. He, once again looked over at you, a sparkle in his eye before Sherlock’s voice snapped him back to reality. “Neither can you, that’s why you’ve come.” Sherlock walked over to you and handed you a cup, which you took with a smile. “But be honest, you’re just a tiny bit pleased...” You hid your face with the teacup, silently hoping the boys wouldn’t pay much attention to you. “What with the verdict?” Sherlock asked, now handing Jim his tea. “With me-“ He said, a sly smile on his face. ‘Fuck... Stop being so hot!’ You thought. “Back on the streets.” Sometimes you wondered how he managed to sound so much like a snake. “Every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain.” He said, staring up at Sherlock who had yet to sit down. “You need me,” He stated in a matter of fact tone. “Or you’re nothing... because we’re just alike; you and I. Except you’re boring... you’re on the side of the angels.” Sherlock ignored this and instead changed the subject. “Got to the jury of course.” Silently sipping your tea, you observed the two. It was like a scene from a TV show or something. “I got into the Tower of London, you think I can’t worm my way into twelve hotel rooms?” He asked as Sherlock finally sat down. “Cable network.” You said, just realizing it. Their attention was now turned on you as Jim began to explain. “Every hotel room has a personalized screen, and every person had their pressure point.” It felt like he was staring into your soul now. What he said had vaguely reminded you of Charles Magnussen, a blackmail extraordinaire that Mycroft had told you to stay away from. Naturally you learned everything you could about him. Real creep he was.

“Someone that they want to protect from harm...” At this, he turned to stare right at Sherlock, there was no doubt in your mind about what he was insinuating. “Easy peasy.” He said, taking a sip from his tea, your eyes automatically drifting over to his pink lips. “So how’re you gonna do it?” Sherlock asked, finally speaking, “Burn me?” He too brought his cup to his lips. “Eh that’s the problem...the final problem. Have you worked out what it is yet?” He asked, his voice light and detached. “What’s the final problem? I did tell you, but did you listen?” He taunted, ending his question in a sing song voice. Putting down his cup, he began to tap his fingers on his leg. You focused your attention on that. ‘Seems very familiar...’ You thought, storing the pattern away in your mind palace for further inspection at a later date. “How hard do you find it- having to say ‘I don’t know’?” Sherlock responded immediately with, “I don’t know.” You smirked, knowing that you would’ve said the same. “Oh that’s clever, very clever, awfully clever-“ Jim mumbled as Sherlock shot you a quick smile. “Speaking of clever, have you told your little friends yet?” Jim asked, peaking your attention. “Told them what?” Sherlock asked, steapling his fingers. “Why I broke into all those places and never took anything.” Of course you already knew as well. “No.” He responded. “But you understand.” It was more of a statement than anything. “Obviously.” Sherlock responded. Jim turned his body to face you. “Do you?” He made eye contact. “Of course.” You said, trying to take the emotion out of your words. ��Off you go then.” He took a bite of a piece of apple he had carved out. “You want me to tell you what you already know.” You said, putting down your tea. “No, I want you to prove that you know it.” He briefly gestured at you. “You didn’t take anything because you don’t need to.” You said, matter of factly. “Good...” He encouraged you to continue. “You’ll never need to take anything ever again.” Feeling more confident, you let yourself relax. “Very good... because..?” Jim went back to carving his apple. “Because nothing. Nothing in the Bank of England, the Tower of London, or Pentonville prison could possibly match the value of the key that could get you into all three.” Sherlock looked over with what could have been interpreted as a proud look, before Jim started talking again. “I can open any door, anywhere, with a few tiny lines of computer code... No such thing as a private bank account now, they’re all mine. No such thing as secrecy, I own secrecy. Nuclear codes? I could blow up NATO in alphabetical order. In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king- and honey, you should see me in a crown...” He shot a quick wink at you before putting on a relaxed smile. “Twenty quid and I’ll get that tattooed.” You spoke up, breaking the tension Jim caused. He let out a little frown, knowing he lost Sherlock’s undivided attention. “Deal.” Sherlock said, tossing you his wallet. “Coolcoolcool, I’ll book the appointment.” You said, grabbing your laptop. “You were advertising throughout the trial, showing all the things you can do...” Sherlock observed, brining the tension back. “And you were helping. Big client list, rouge governments, intelligence communities, terror cells... they all want me... suddenly, I’m Mister Sex...” You stopped tyiping. “Ugh, amen!” You thought, but apparently you had said that out loud and they boys were giving you extremely opposite looks. Jim was smirking at you, his eyes wandering to who knows where and Sherlock was glaring at you. You cleared your throat, your face flushing bright red. “I’ll just- yea I’ll just leave- um, okay, bye. Don’t-“ You pointed at Jim, “Don’t kill anyone.” You slowly picked your laptop up and ran out the door.

[stillchaoticlogic]

Descent: Chapter 2

Pairing: Leon x Reader

Leon only thought he was the most powerful trainer in Galar...

He never battled you though.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2: No Use Going Back to Yesterday

The sound of boots echo off the cement floor as you walk into the empty space. Leon follows close behind as he regards the large warehouse with intrigue and confusion. 

“This is where we are training?” he asks as he looks around. 

“The others will be here soon, you will refer to them as Knight and Ten.”

“Knight and Ten?”

“Yep those are code names, it’s how we protect our identity.”

“So what do you call me?”

“Ace,” you call over your shoulder as you move farther into the warehouse, “At the Battleground, you are the Ace of Spades. My Ace of Spades. Your current goal is to not be an Ace anymore.” 

“So it’s just our position?” he asks as he readjusts his cap on his head. 

“Pretty much…”

“Why?” 

“It keeps it simple plus it establishes rank. You are an Ace, a one,” you regard the man in front of you. Vaguely you wonder about his need to be number one. Why the number means so much to him. 

“What would you do if you weren’t doing this?” he asks as he follows you into the depths of the building still looking around with unrestrained awe. 

“Never thought about it.”

“I don’t believe you,” he shoots back with a frown. 

You turn and gaze steadily into his eyes, “This isn’t about me,” you say holding his gaze, “This is about you and your obsessive need to be the strongest. Perhaps it’s therapy that you need.”

He looks affronted by your words as if no one as ever dared to speak to him like that and honestly they probably haven’t. When you’re on top everyone wants you to like them. They want to be your best friend so they can ride your coattails to the top. They want all the glory with none of the work. The Underground is all work. And you won’t mince words for anyone especially an entitled ex-champion. 

“Be ready Ace, this is about to be one of the hardest days of your life,” you say with a smirk as you turn to begin setting up the makeshift arena. 

The duo arrives about twenty minutes later. Knight is a young man in his mid-twenties with jet black hair and steely grey eyes, as well as handsome and reliable and that crush you have on him is dangerous. He has a stoic and quiet demeanor much like the steel types that he favors. And did you mention that he’s your right hand and your most loyal teammate? You’ve been itching to put him in charge of one of the teams to be your ally, but you’ve been reluctant to let him go. You like him where he is and he likes where he is and as long as everyone is happy what does it matter? However, now there is danger and Clubs and Diamond have gotten more aggressive with you and you know the time has come. 

In comparison, Ten is young and pretty much a prodigy with battling. She comes from the rougher part of the city and couldn’t afford to take the challenge. She’s just shy of seventeen and is a pervertible ray of sunshine. Her choice to train electric types is no surprise of yours. She has a Toxtricity of her own that almost rivals your own and you couldn’t be prouder. She will be a great Queen. 

“We’re overthrowing Clubs and Diamond so that I can make you the new King and Queen,” you say as you start the meeting.

Both of them just blink at you in confusion.

“Wait… What??” questions Ten disbelief in her voice as she regards you like actual royalty. 

Knight gazes off into the distance before he just nods, “I figured you to do as much. They have gotten dangerous lately and with the former champion on our team, we will be even more of a target.”

You nod your affirmation to your right hand, “I need you two to pick your successor. They need to be trustworthy and ready to fill your position not just in strength but in reliability.”

Knight nods as he regards you with his steely eyes, “I know who I would like as my successor.”

“Already?” you ask with a tilt of your head. You know he’s been considering this of course, and you know it will be Seven. He’s been paying attention to the young man, guiding him along the path. He has yet to choose a typing to specialize in, but you have a feeling it will be steel. Knight is highly revered among your team.

“Seven, he is capable and loyal.”

“To you.”

He looks up at you in surprise, “Groom him, you will need a good Knight after you have established your rule, in the meantime, Nine will be better suited to take your position.”

Nine is almost as large as Clubs and almost just as boisterous. He’s a lot more steady though lacking Clubs quick temper and conniving ways. He deals in Ground-types and is a powerhouse in his own right. You know he would already be your number 10 if he didn’t have a soft spot for Ten. He sees her as a younger sister and has come to her aid many times over. 

“What about you Ten? Any thoughts on who will take over your position?”

She puts her hand up to her chin and sways from side to side as she thinks, “Five!”

“Five?” you ask in surprise, “That’s a low rank… How do you think you will get her where she needs to be?”

She shrugs nonchalantly, “She trains Psychic types, you know she will be fine.”

“That doesn’t answer my question…” you trail off as you regard her and she just shrugs with an easy smile.

“Fine fine… start training her and you’re already close with Diamond’s Ten, he will make a good Knight for you.”

She blushes and avoids your gaze as you send her a knowing look. 

“Should I tell him?” she asks hesitantly.

“No, this doesn’t leave the five of us and those you trust to take your place, and even then I don’t want them knowing just yet.”

They nod as you signal the meeting is over, “Time to train!”

The four of you start a rigorous training regime. You aren’t surprised when Five, Nine, and Seven show up, in that order. They all jump right in and you can’t help but be proud of your team. Once everyone has finished their exercises you pull Leon to the center of the ring. 

“Stamina,” you announce as you all circle him. 

“Stamina?” he asks looking back at you bewildered. 

“You lack stamina. Ranks are based on how far you can get in the competition. Rank is established here with your teammates. We have two months until our next Ranking tournament. Your rank is where you fall in the team. Unfortunately, for you, after you won the cup and became champion you were automatically considered a finalist, so you’ve forgotten what it’s like to claw your way to the top. To victory. You’ve stood at the top of the mountain for too long so now you and your Pokemon have simply needed power, but power is nothing without stamina. That is why your Charizard fell so quickly. That is why you fell in battle after only three competitors despite your power. Those who are ranked higher have honed their ability to last longer in battle. We shall start there.”

He blinks at you in astonishment. You know he’s never had to face that many competitors in a row before. He’s so used to the same thing over and over again he’s compliant. 

“That’s why?”

“Yes.”

He nods as he looks down a sense of determination radiating from him before he raises his head and regards his team. 

“These are your competitors, but also your teammates. You compete among them for rank, but in battle royals, they are your greatest allies. Three months until a battle royal will take place and four for the Tournament. The Tournament is the only time a King or Queen can be overthrown. It is a winner take all battle and everyone has to bring their very best. Now show us what you’ve got.”

Leon falls after the second battle and you can feel the frustration radiating off of him. 

“Tomorrow we are going on a field trip…” you mutter as you turn away from Leon, “That’s all for today, team! Excellent job! Seven and Nine will report to Knight for a personalized battle plan and Five will report to Ten.”

Everyone nods and you can see the disappointment on Leon’s face. 

“Come on Ace… We’re going to get a drink…” 

“I really shouldn’t…” he hesitates.

“Shouldn’t what? Have a drink? How tight of a leash did Rose have you on?” you throw over your shoulder as you head outside.

He winces at your question, “Uhh…”

Your voice softens as you realize just what kind of life he’s led, “Hey… Come on… One drink won’t hurt… I promise I won’t tell anyone that the great Leon had a beer.” You wink when you catch his gaze. He sends you a small smile and a nod. You can tell he’s still hesitant and he probably doesn’t trust you as far as he can throw you, but he follows along behind you anyway. 

“So…” he begins as you head down the road to the car hidden in the bushes. Leon practically chokes when he sees what you drive.

“How?” 

You glance innocently back at him, “What?” you ask before a Cheshire smile breaks out onto your face, “You don’t like it?”

The black Liepard A-Type gleams back at him as he gazes in awe at the car.

“How do you afford this?!”

You tilt your head at him as you send a secret smile and bring your finger to your lips before you get into the driver’s side. He slides in and starts inspecting the interior with the reverence of someone in a holy place. 

“I don’t understand why you are excited, can’t you afford one of these?” you ask as you rev the engine, and Leon practically purrs back at it. 

“Rose wouldn’t let me get one… He said that-”

“Who gives a shit what Rose thinks? He tried to destroy the world with his disillusioned idea and his obsession, not with clean energy but with infamy. He doesn’t own you anymore. Buy the damn car,” you bite. 

Leon just blinks back at you in awe and you wonder just how much of his life and of himself has been nothing but a construct. A carefully curated persona for the public. A lifetime of ‘no’s’. No wonder he has no idea who he is outside of being champion, he’s spent the last decade being told what to do by everyone around him. His entire adult life has been meticulously maintained to project a certain image. The perfect image. The Unbeatable Champion. But what happens when the very core of your identity is being the unbeatable champion and then you are beaten? No one prepared him for the aftermath of loss.

“I will…” he says it softly as if he doesn’t even believe it himself.

“Good,” you say with satisfaction, “I’ll go with you. We can pick it out together.”

“Really?” he asks gazing at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“Of course! Invite your friends, I bet that dragon guy would love to help too.” 

He looks out the window regarding the scenery as you fly down the road back towards the city. 

“Yeah… I bet he would… He’s really busy with League business right now though. The new-” His gaze is unfocused as he thinks about his old life.

“Stop.”

He looks shocked when he glances over at you, but remains quiet. 

“You aren’t part of that world anymore. You don’t live by that schedule. You have two months to gain rank and I have a couple more Aces to find. We’ve got some recruiting to do.”

“Recruiting?”

“What? You don’t think I just pick trainers out of the ether, do you? Let Lady Luck do her thing? Hell no. This is a war and you need the proper army.”

“I still fail to see how this is any different from the League that you all hate so much,” he grumbles as he regards you with his own kind of derision. He still looks like he would give you a hug at any moment so it’s lost on you.

“This is a way of life. A very beautifully choreographed dance if you will. Chance isn’t something that will favor you often. Loyalty. Reliability. Power. Cunning. That’s how you survive. That’s what you seek out. I didn’t become High Queen by trusting the first man to flirt with me, or the first woman to compliment my shoes. You shouldn’t either.”

He looks away, “I’m beginning to see what I’ve gotten myself into.”

“Just now?” you ask sarcastically, “Major himbo energy there big boy…”

He looks flabbergasted, not for the first time today, “Himbo? What? I’m not a himbo! And don’t call me big boy…”

You send him another sly smile, “You don’t like it when I call you Big Boy? What about studmuffin? Better?” 

He blushes and looks away, “Absolutely not!”

“Arceus I’m going to have so much fun with you…” 

He sends you a glare, “Is this a game to you?”

“You need to lighten up Big Boy! When was the last time you had fun?”

He looks up at the ceiling clearly deep in thought and your eyes widen, “Oh… dear… you know what? Don’t answer that… I don’t think I want to know if you have to think that hard about it.”

He looks affronted and turns back to you, “It’s not been that long!”

“If you have to do math then it’s been too long.”

He deflates a little bit at your reply and just nods in agreement, “You’re right… I can’t even remember the last time I was able to go out for a drink or go on a date.”

“Yeah… we are so not jumping down that rabbit hole tonight…”

He looks away and you notice the blush on his cheeks out of the corner of your eye as he does so. You giggle as you reach over and ruffle his hair making him whip back around to face you looking annoyed until he sees your face. 

“Live a little…” you say softly catching his eye before turning back to the road.

He gives a determined nod as you pull up in front of the bar, far from the beaten path where no one will care if ex-champion Leon walks in. Or maybe they will, but he’s with you and no one questions what you do in your own bar. 

“Come on Big Boy… Drinks on me…” you say as you stop in front him and grasp his shirt before pulling him down until he’s eye level with you. He chokes at the tug and the close proximity of your faces, clearly uncomfortable. He blinks at you in shock before you just send him an innocent smile and pat his cheek softly before you let go and lead the way into the bar. 

The man follows you like a lost puppy.

Notes: I know this was a little bit of a filler and way too informative but I liked the interaction between Leon and Reader. I hope you did too! I hope it sets a little more of their relationship up. Please tell me your thoughts and drop some love! You can buy my affection with Likes and Comments!