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can we expect more of All the King's Horses? I love it 🥹🥹
First off, thank you SO MUCH for reading!! All the King’s Horses has become my precious child and is so so self indulgent, and I’m just so excited that people other than myself are enjoying it!! So thank you so very much!!
I will have another update a week from today, so this coming Friday! (Or at least that is the plan) I am currently on vacation and did not plan well enough to save the new chapter as a draft on AO3 to then publish today… and I am not tech savvy enough to copy it from Google Docs on my phone / iPad and then put it into AO3 and formate it properly. I am an old lady and I gotta do that on my laptop �� BUT I am super excited about the next chapter! We get to meet Fictional!Charli 👀
Thank you so much for reading and for being so lovely and encouraging! I look forward to returning to our regular scheduled programing next week! I hope you have a GREAT weekend!!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#fanfiction#keep it kind#matty fic#gatty#fanfic#All the King’s Horses#equestrian au#also i apologize imma be back in business on Monday#but then I go out of town again on Saturday#and I’m going to be out of the country for a work trip#so i will not be updating anything that week#BUT i am still here#and still writing#this is just our february of absent ally#so dont be alarmed#also another disclaimer#i am NOT writing a Valentines day fic#especially since i havent even finished Christmas yet#dont worry that one is also still a work in progress
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"And there's nothing you can do!" ⛧ Ghost - Rats for WORLD RAT DAY 04/04/2024
#this is so silly. happy rat day#the band ghost#user copia all tag#cardinal copia#DISCLAIMER: on the very (VERY) rare chance somebody recognises this format#from a gif post in another fandom about 3 years ago#i'm not copying anyone. that was also me#i really doubt there's any overlap of fan circles here but that old post has done some numbers so if you think you've already seen this#dw. same person#maybe i should have made an entirely new format but who has the time#also i've had the lyrics in my head as 'belief IS contagious' but apparently it's beliefs plural? not sure which one is correct#user copia edits
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Fun fact: according to the ultimate guide, apparently it’s very common for children of Hephaestus to have acrophobia (fear of heights) due to the whole “their dad got tossed off Mount Olympus as a baby”-thing.
Now, isn’t it so interesting how that was never a problem for Leo…
I think we could have so much fun with this for Valgrace purposes. Either actually have Leo have that fear of heights and slowly unlearn it because he realizes Jason will always be there to catch him if he falls.
Or. Make it so that it’s just never been a thing for him at all. (Maybe the Fates decided with the whole “storm or fire”-prophecy and him needing to defeat Gaia, having him be afraid of heights would be a little inconvenient. Maybe Hera made him unlearn it as a child, since she’s the reason children of Hephaestus usually have that fear.) Either way, none of Leo’s siblings understand the inherent comfort he feels in the air. The excitement he feels over fixing Festus and attaching his wings. The way he grins when he feels the wind against his face as he’s falling, knowing he’s going to be okay even before Jason slams into him, holding him fast.
#Disclaimer: that’s one of the companion books I actually haven’t read I got this off the wiki#Also I’m convinced this is not based on anything thematic at all and just another addition to the grand series of rrverse continuity errors#However. I think we can and should use it for fun#valgrace#leo valdez#heroes of olympus#hoo#jason grace#leo x jason#jason x leo#The lost hero#Leo pjo
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I am just so fundamentally uninterested in the story where Jason is in the wrong and needs to Gain Perspective or whatever. God what a snore. What an absolute waste of my time.
#sigh obligatory disclaimer: I am not pro death penalty#I am pro authority figures actually enforcing safety rather than prioritizing the comfort of abusers and the status quo#the difference between Jason and the likes of Punisher or Huntress is that he positions himself as another criminal#he is aware of what heroes are symbolically and he doesn’t want to mess that up#so when he kills you the message he sends is not that it happened because you deserved it#but that it happened because you broke the rules#and obviously this is problematic#but also this man lives in a world only superficially more civilized than a frontier zone#or idk maybe it’s just Gotham which is so fucked up#Jason cooled off as soon as he exited the city so eh#anyways desperate people will do desperate thing and moralizing at them makes you a smarmy fuck#jason todd
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💙❤️Happy Holidays!❤️💙
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#This is *specifically* fanart of the interfaith christmas cards featuring santa and his jewish rabbi husband spending time together#Why? Well as I was trying to think of things to draw for the season I realized there was another classic Blue and Red pairing to reference#They are going out for chinese food after this photoshoot. Kosher of course.#I want them to star in an interfaith hallmark film. A meet cute + save christmas + murder mystery in a small town kind of story#Or! Maybe they are just going to have a chill holiday break together and bake some treats with the extended family#So many fun possibilities about this bonkers concept I have no intention of making a bigger deal out of#speaking of Big Deals though;#If you have ever wanted to show appreciation for this (free) daily comics blog then I have one Holiday request:#If you have the means to - please donate your money to either a local food bank or a Yemen relief fund#there are so many people going without food and every bit helps. Truly would be the best holiday treat ever#and if you do not celebrate this holiday season…it’s also my birthday! You wouldnt want to let down the birthday cat would you?#(DISCLAIMER: it may or may not actually be my birthday. I may just be pressing emotional buttons to influence people to my cause)#(DISCLAIMER 2: I cannot vouch for any charities you donate to. Please be cautious and research properly before donating)
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collection of some doodles :’) plus redraws of their faces in various scenes for personal reference purposes
DISCLAIMER: Before you decide to watch Re-Animator, make sure to check for content warnings, there is a scene that a lot of people choose to skip!
#reanimator#danbert#herbert west#dan cain#Daniel Cain#herbert x dan#dan x herbert#Re-Animator#i am working...on another comic#these are the doodles i do in between on the same canvas ;;;#and the refs help when i draw them and realize that they are missing some key feature but am unsure which one#the refs are already stylized to highlight their most recognizable features hkshdfdhsf#ALSO I AM ADDING DISCLAIMERS NOW BC IVE BEEN SEEING PPL SAY THEY WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE BC OF ME i need you all to know beforehand#bc the scene i am referring to is fucked up and i want you all to make sure you can watch it first okay okay love you
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I guess I find the shipping discourse a little funny because fandoms are gonna create ships regardless of the subject matter. I think really heavy, depressing media creates a need for people to see human connection. It’s like a way to cope, you know? More importantly and specific to this game (Mouthwashing), I also find it a little funny just because the devs themselves seem to be leaning towards ~one~ “ship” by retweeting artwork that depicts them as pretty close and protective. They even did an edit of them on that Florence Pugh and that one white guy romance movie with a “what could have been” caption. Sooo tldr the ship drama is kind of dumb. Please block and move on cause the discourse is taking up space on my feed when I’m trying to look for more art of Daisuke lmao
#also disclaimer I don’t ship anything in this game because it makes me too depressed hahaha#I guesssssss you could say I leave towards Anya and Curly but that’s just because they’re my favs#plus I got a gen vibe that they liked each other so I kind of just assumed but whatever#I like that they find comfort in each other more than anything (at least in my head post crash)#if that makes sense? so don’t come for me lol cause some of yall are mean#I know he failed her so so so so badly but that’s kind of what makes their comfort and care for one another interesting you know?#idk how to explain it#it’s like the one sweet thing that continues throughout the narrative all the way to Anya’s suicide#where she locks them in together to keep them both safe from Jimmy#I’m high so pls excuse me as I make no sense actually#this is about#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#people who ship Jimmy x curly are another breed though lmaoooo yall are on something stronger than anyone else😭😭😭
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meet samantha // “forever” by noah kahan // samantha: an american girl holiday // “strawberry blonde” by chloe moriondo // samantha: an american girl holiday // “jesus christ 2005 god bless america” by the 1975 // meet samantha // “run” by taylor swift ft. ed sheeran // samantha’s winter party // “ivy” by taylor swift // the cry of the loon // “ode to a conversation stuck in your throat” by del water gap // samantha and the missing pearls // “peace” by taylor swift // samantha: an american girl holiday // “i’ll call you mine” by girl in red // changes for samantha // “please don’t say you love me” by gabrielle aplin // samantha: an american girl holiday
nellie's pov
#web weaving#hi! another first time doing something so i hope you like it:)#edit to add that this is more sam’s pov in case this isn’t clear (and because i have something else coming)#and disclaimer: i ship sam/nellie but also separately appreciate their relationship as sisters. i have an au where they aren’t sisters#and that inspired this#but the adoption plotline is very important and i appreciate that as canon without shipping them#samantha parkington#nellie o'malley#american girl#ag#agblr#american girl doll#from my slate#samantha: an american girl holiday#illustrations
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Help for when you’re having a rough time
(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)
In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you.
First, a note:
Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.
A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)
That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:
1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)
If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.
There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3
2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)
One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)
3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)
I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).
4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).
As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read.
5. Warmlines:
This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.
6. Specialized hotlines:
There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)
With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:
A. For queer and trans folks in general:
Trans LifeLine
Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)
Available in English and Spanish
Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)
Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!
Does not offer text/chat-based support
I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.
The Trevor Project:
Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks
Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.
Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)
Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24
Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).
Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!
B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:
Call Blackline:
Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)
Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.
From their website:
Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.
Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:
You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.
Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.
C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:
Fireside Project:
This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.
7. A soothing distraction:
One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)
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Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.
And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3
(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)
One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.
#whump community#how to be a person in the world#ways to stay afloat#suicide mention cw#suicidality mention cw#self-harm mention cw#resources for taking care of yourself#bel talks#touchstones#sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal#my feelings might come from a really different place than other people's feelings#idk for instance if any of the shit in this post would have been at all useful to moya#but I'm sharing it anyway in case it's useful to SOMEONE
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insatiable appetite [1/?]
sooo... this is one of the thirstiest things i have written—and also one of the only times i've written a character with the kink, ever T.T warnings in advance for mess, character getting sneezed on, implied contagion, possible ooc-ness, & me writing this entirely with my d instead of my head
ivan and till are from al//ien sta//ge (a very fun watch which will only take 30 mins out of your life; i really recommend it!!). that said, this fic takes place in a modern au setting, so feel free to read it without any prior context :)
special thanks to @6pmsoup for sending me a very cute alnst doodle of these two which altered my brain chemistry permanently
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Summary: Till shows up to a dinner outing with a brewing cold. Ivan suffers. (est. relationship, kink!Ivan, ~2k words)
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For all Till tries to hide it, Ivan can tell immediately.
There’s this: Ivan has been paying attention to Till for most of his life. A full decade before they’d gotten together officially, and some more—this is how long Ivan has had to observe his tells. Always from the sidelines, always with a detached air of indifference that, in reality, was anything but.
All the signs are there the night before. Till, turning up the thermostat a couple degrees higher than he usually keeps it. Spending a little too long in the shower and using up almost all of the hot water. Clearing his throat one too many times in the morning before Ivan leaves for work, his smile distracted, the rasp of his voice nearly indistinguishable—but only nearly.
Now, Till is here for dinner—it’s a dinner they’ve had plans for a couple weeks now, at one of the nicer restaurants downtown, in celebration of Till’s recent promotion. Ivan had booked the reservation a couple weeks in advance.
When Till arrives, stepping out of a taxi cab, he’s wearing a scarf, even though the weather is too warm for it. Ivan steps up to meet him.
“Sorry I’m late,” Till says. “Traffic here was the worst I’ve ever seen it, swear to god.”
“Was it cold outside today?” Ivan asks, a little pointedly, tilting his head towards his scarf.
Till looks at him, his expression unreadable. Then he nods. “Colder than usual, for this time of year.”
“Strange,” Ivan says, just to be difficult. “But the weather forecast says it’s the same temperature today as yesterday.”
“It’s probably just windier today,” Till says, readjusting his scarf around his neck. His face is a little flushed.
“Your voice sounds a little off, though.”
Till clears his throat with a scowl. “You must be imagining it,” he says. “It always sounds like this.”
No admission, then. That’s fine. Ivan will get the truth out of him at some point. He lets Till guide him into the restaurant.
It’s a nice restaurant—worth the hassle of the reservation, Ivan thinks. Each table is set with flowers arranged tastefully in long glass vases, empty wine glasses turned on their heads. The server—who leads them to their table in a small, private booth—is wearing a suit.
It’s a shame, really. Ivan has a feeling that he won’t be able to pay attention to any of that tonight.
They sit. Ivan looks down at the menu, picks out something at random in a matter of seconds. Truthfully, he can hardly think of anything less worth his attention right now. He turns his attention to Till instead—Till, who’s seated directly across from him, the scarf still around his neck, obscuring the lower half of his face.
Till sniffles, reaching down to turn the page, and oh. The sniffle is terribly liquid—has he been sniffling like that all afternoon? Perhaps it’s a good thing that they work at different offices—Till at a law firm, Ivan as a senior manager at a consulting company—because Ivan certainly doesn’t think he’d be able to get any work done with Till sniffling like that.
It’s not two minutes later that Till is reaching up to wipe his nose against the back of one knuckle. All in all, it’s discreet. Just a quick brush of the fingers against his nose, which is still hidden under the scarf. Though, the look of sheer ticklishness that passes over his features for a brief moment there is...
“What are you thinking of ordering?” Ivan asks.
“I can’t decide,” Till answers. He turns the page again. “It’s between the ribeye steak and the… snf! The pork belly. Is this the kind of place that skimps on the portion sizes?”
“Not from their Yelp reviews,” Ivan says. “You know, if you really can’t decide, I can flip a coin.”
“I’ll pick,” Till says. “Why? Hungry already?”
He looks up, now. His eyes are a little watery. There’s a faint flush over the bridge of his nose. Ivan thinks that if he reached out and touched him, he’d probably be running warm. The thought is almost unbearable.
“Your taxi did take forever to arrive,” Ivan says, by way of explanation.
“Did you really wait that long?”
He looks uncertain, for a moment. Ivan says, “Not at all. But you know, I’m always impatient when it comes to you.”
Till rolls his eyes, but it’s fond. “There was a meeting that ran late. I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Is that also a part of your new position?” “I guess so, yeah.”
“I can see why they were eager to promote you, then,” Ivan says. “How productive can late afternoon meetings be, anyways?”
Till snorts. “Not that important. It definitely could have been an email instead. I was about ready to doze off.”
He sniffles again. “Okay. I think I know what I want.” The way he says know betrays the slightest hint of congestion.
“At long last,” Ivan says, just to be a little bit of an ass. “I’ll call over the waiter.”
He flags their waiter down, waits for Till to order first.
“A spiced apple cider,” Till adds on, at the end, with the slightest of coughs. “Hot, if you can.”
That’s new, too. Till seldom orders hot drinks at restaurants, though he’ll drink tea without complaint if it’s offered. Perhaps his throat hurts, then, from the cold that has clearly started to settle in his system. Subtle, still, but Ivan is familiar with colds like this. He knows it will probably only be a few hours before this deceptively “small” cold turns into…
Ivan orders, too, and thanks the waiter, who leaves with a curt nod. When he looks back over to Till, there’s a… strange something to Till’s expression, a slight distractedness. Irritation.
Ivan swallows hard. He should look away.
He should, but then, Till’s breath hitches. He pulls the scarf higher over his face preemptively, as if he anticipates having something to have to cover for. The sharp intake of breath that follows is breathy, though Ivan can hear Till’s voice in it. He should really look away.
Instead, he takes the scene in, painstakingly, little by little, as Till’s shoulders jerk forwards. As Till presses a hand to the scarf, presses the fabric closer to his face, to muffle a sneeze into his fingertips:
“hhH-Ih!! hiHH-’IESCHH-eew-!”
God. It sounds utterly miserable, the harsh release of it scraping against his throat, the spray tearing into his scarf. It’s the kind of cold sneeze that is undeniably telling: this is going to be one hell of a cold. It’s not very quiet, either, even muffled into the fabric.
For more reasons than one, Ivan is glad they’re in a private corner of the restaurant, not somewhere more public.
“Bless you,” he offers, once he can trust himself to speak. It’s a good thing that Till is too distracted to look up at him right now. Ivan isn’t sure he can keep what he’s feeling off of his face.
Truthfully, he isn’t sure he’s going to be able to endure a whole night of this.
The problem here is that Till—Till, of all people; Till, who Ivan has been pathetically in love with for almost as long as he can remember—has no idea about Ivan’s… relatively niche interests. That is to say, he has no idea what effect it has on Ivan when he does that.
“Thanks,” Till says, a little stuffily. He sniffles again, lowering his hand.
Ivan can’t help it. He knows he shouldn’t pursue this line of questioning, but he can feel his self-control dwindling by the second. “Don’t you think it would be better to take off your scarf, now that we’re inside?”
Till freezes. “Y-You know what,” he says evasively. “It’s pretty cold in here.”
Ivan tilts his head in question. “And just how do you plan on eating like that?”
“I’ll take it off when our food comes.”
“I can ask the waiter to turn the temperature up, if it’s a problem,” Ivan says.
“It’s not a problem.”
Ivan rises from his seat. Till watches him, perplexed, as he heads to the opposite side of the table, where Till is seated.
When he gets there, he stops. Stands, unmoving, so he can study Till from above.
“What are you—”
Ivan reaches out, settles his palm across Till’s forehead. As expected, it’s warm. Not quite feverish, which is a good sign, but warm enough to be notable.
“Just how long were you intending to hide this?”
Till stares back at him, wide-eyed. “Hide what?”
Shouldn’t it be obvious? “The fact that you have a cold.”
“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning,” Till says, slowly.
“Hmm.” Ivan drops his hand to his side. He is a little concerned, now. “We could’ve called a rain check.”
This time Till really does roll his eyes. “For the reservation we planned weeks ahead?” he sniffles again. “That just sounds completely and utterly unnecessary. Are you the type of person to call things off just over a little cold?”
Ivan leans over, tugs down the edge of Till’s scarf. Till bats his hand away just a moment too late, cups his other hand over his face to shield his face from view. For a moment, he looks faintly mortified.
Then his expression settles into something more disgruntled. “What are you doing?” he hisses.
So uncooperative. “Let me see,” Ivan says. Slowly, gently, he pries Till’s hands away from his face, and then—because the restaurant is dimly lit—tilts Till’s face up slightly so that it catches more of the overhead light.
Till’s nose is redder than usual. He’s probably been rubbing it all afternoon, if the redness that percolates into his cheeks is any indication. There’s a damp, liquid sheen on the underside of his nose.
“What’s there to see?” Till says, a little crossly.
“Your face, since you’ve been so intent on hiding it under that scarf,” Ivan says, leaning in to get a better look.
Till scowls at him, but there’s no heat to it. “You see my face every day.”
“On the contrary, I don’t see it nearly enough,” Ivan says. “And you hardly ever get sick. Is it so wrong for me to be concerned?”
Without looking, he reaches behind him with one hand to grab a couple cocktail napkins. The other hand he keeps held up to Till’s cheek.
But then, Till’s breath hitches. “Wait,” he says. Panic flashes through his face. “Ivan, move, I—”
Oh. Well, seeing as there’s no way he’ll be able to get the napkins over in time, it looks like he’ll have to improvise. If Till wants to cover, Ivan can help with that. He moves his hand to cup it loosely over Till’s mouth. Not a second too late, it seems. Till jerks forward unceremoniously, his nose twitching, his eyes squeezing shut.
“hHheh-! HHh’EIITShHh’yYiew!” he gasps sharply. Two? “Hh-! hHiiH’DSSCSSHh-IIew!”
The jolt of the sneezes is practically electrifying—all of that force, brought to an abrupt halt behind Ivan’s waiting palm. He feels the expulsion of air against his skin, the warmth of Till’s breath, feels the slight dampness behind his hand as the spray mists over his fingertips.
Ivan swallows, hard. Thank god it’s so dark here, otherwise Till might notice what this is doing to him.
“Bless you,” he says, withdrawing his hand at last to wipe it on one of the cloth napkins. It comes out slightly raspier than he intends it to, though perhaps it’s a miracle that he’s still able to talk at all. “Some cold, hmm?” Belatedly, he hands Till the stack of napkins.
Till practically snatches them from him, turns aside to blow his nose wetly into the top few. The way he sniffles afterwards suggests that his nose is still very much running.
“Do you have no self preservation? It’s as if you want to catch this,” Till says, drawing back with another sniffle.
Oh, Ivan thinks, fighting back a shiver. That would be far from the worst thing.
#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz fic#snz kink#my fic#i needed to get this out of my system 😭 i know its unpolished#i thought i was already baring my soul with the ki//ll//er pe//ter fic but this is so much worse#special apology to my dear friends who have been forced to listen to me talk nonstop about al//n//st (you know who you are) (and if you see#this i'm personally sorry 😭) maybe someday i will write something for them that is less unhinged and perhaps more in character#the thought of kink!iva//n just took hold of me and then this fic materialized#still experimenting with different flavors of writing him... balancing my understanding of his character w this specific kink flavor was#an experiment for sure. like how do you balance concern and desire/selfishness?#i couldn't figure it out so just leaned very hard into the latter#also the 1/? is a placeholder; writing this was already testing the limits of my courage LOL#if i sit here i'll write another 200 disclaimers because i'm embarrassed to be posting this so i'll just schedule the post now
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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Reblogging this cause it's been on my mind and, I just wanted to add a disclaimer
Yes, these people are definitely all great looking, but no, that's not at all my reason of being a UPMBT fan. It's not the thing that I think of when I think of them. It's more just... A fact, I suppose? Like. Yes, they are attractive, but that doesn't make them, them if that makes sense. That's not what matters.
I look up to them the way I do because, somehow, they push me to wanna do better. So much so that the inspiration they give me bleeds onto, not just sports, but every aspect of my life.
Their hard work and effort, their mentality and heart, and their sacrifice? Idk why, but it somehow resonates with me so much. It hits something in me that I can't place. That's what I love about them. That's why I'm a fan.
I only compliment them and their looks as much as I do because, aside from it being true, it's easy.
It's much easier to put an appreciation of looks into words than it is to word an appreciation of what's inside. Even if that's what matters more. Its easier to say "you look nice" than it is to find the words that show a person the impact they've made on you. I know cause I've tried. Multiple times.
And with those multiple times (which I've posted on my IG), I honestly start to wonder if I sound a little too... Obsessed. Or crazy. Or in love. Especially with how sentimental I tend to make my words. Idk. I hope not. I hope that that's not what is understood from my words. I hope what's understood is that I'm just tryna say: "I've been impacted. A seed of motivation has been planted in me, and I'll do my best to help it grow from there. Thank you"
Unibersidad ng pogi
Yes.
#Hoping this made sense#Idk if it did but#Here you go anyway#Also another disclaimer#No I don't have crushes on them HAHA#basketball#upmbt#general fangirling#Rants
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"fenris hates all mages" counterpoint: he just has beef with Anders Specifically
#this is not supposed to be a Serious And Nuanced Post TM please dont come at me fhdslkjflsf#i just think its funny how they bitchfight#and for the record no i dont think they hate each other#however. i do also believe that they find each other specifically annoying lol#theres at least one other banter i remember where anders brings up mages and fen answers with#actually this is about Just You and not mages in general#(and also another disclaimer i do think the game tries too hard to make the characters too one-track with their opinions)#(and that chances are 'bethany wasnt weak' was meant to mean 'she wasnt possessed or a blood mage and played her part`)#((he did also get on well with bethany tho. so theres that))#but i digress#laya plays dragon age#personally i believe that anders has beef with fenris because he keeps beating him at cardsand fen is smug about it /hj
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So I keep thinking about a trans girlfriend who fattens me as she forcefems me, in a way that's like "oh yes you became such a handsome man all so that you could really be a trans girl" as opposed to like... detrans... not detrans but double trans I guess
Swapping out my T for E, subtly encouraging me to shave because she thinks I look nicer without the beard, slowly replacing my wardrobe with more feminine clothes, making sure I'm always eating well for her so I get nice and soft and curvy all over, touching me so I feel so good as she changes me
I'm pleasantly dumbing down from her conditioning and feedings, so much so that the first time she says "that's my good girl," I hardly notice except for the rush of pleasure... and from there on out I fall deeper and deeper into her grasp and plans as she makes me her perfect fat girlfriend
#hutch posts#double trans is so funny because i truly mean like#i transed to a man and that was correct and i am a man#but then some time after i trans to a woman because that is now correct and it's not a backwards movement but another forward one#this makes sense to me. maybe only me. but idk#also big pure fantasy disclaimer i guess but it's fun to think about#weight gain#stuffing#.cnc#getting fat on purpose#queer feedism#trans feedism
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thinking about that moment in s3 ep 10 where trudy and francis are finding understanding in one another over their shared violent rage towards their respective abusers and meanwhile kelsey just starts talking about brian shushing her and trudy getting like mildly angry because kelsey is trying to comment on/relate to their desire to get revenge on the people who hurt them when she clearly hasnt gone through the same trauma ON TOP OF kelsey having an abnormal amount of agency for a middle-aged woman in the 50's (especially compared to trudy) seeing that she is unmarried, has her own career that she loves, is a prolific reader, and can beat the ever loving fuck out of a competitive male boxer with her own two hands aka all of the things that trudy could've had but were taken away from her
#i love both of these women but their existences as direct parallels to one another is eating me alive#im just kind of sick and ill and fucked up in the head about them#trudy trout#kelsey grammar dndads#the peachyville horror#dndads#dungeons and daddies#disclaimer i know kelsey has definitely experienced misogyny and might also be an abuse victim im just working with what i got rn#tw abuse
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「30歳まで売れないとアイドルになれるらしい」 (from cherry magic volume 12 special edition) — english translation
#cherry magic#my translation#ok immediately massive disclaimer there was a bunch of idol fandom+music+fashion terms in here ive never heard of so stuff might be v wrong#pls have mercy i tried my best with whatever info i could find 🙏#also another small t/n for a thing i Do know about . so on pg 4 kurosawa actually says '好きなんだよ' which has no object specifically#so the thing he says he likes depends wholly on context#since he says that straight up first it could be interpreted as him saying 'i like You' which is why adachi goes 'whuh???' and turns red-#-in the next panel for a second anyway before kurosawa clarifies that he means the songs#(but maybe he was backpedaling and was actually saying that he likes adachi at first . hmmmmm)#but yeah i couldnt find any good way to actually make that work in english so i thought ill have it in the tags at least#i wonder if sensei will continue this AU like she did wizardsawa that would be cool.... theres so much potential
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