#also also call me emo whatever but “youre just a sad song with nothing to say about a lifelong wait for a hospital stay” disenchanted mcr

[haukifangirl]

i rarely really enjoy english lyrics but in apocalypso by mew theres this line "black waves come and so fear me, december" and its just. so .. . ..... good what.....jonas bjerre......the man you are.........

[ermesskiss]

what music I think jjk students would listen to

✧ ft: yuji, megumi, nobara, maki, todo, yuta, haraki, kirara ✧ a/n: been thinking about this for a minute, and I decided to write out my opinions/hcs

jjk adult version here + jjk character playlist works here

reblogs and comments are always welcomed!!

· · ───────────── 𖥸 ────────────── · ·

✦ yuji

➥ he definitely listens to pop music with overall good vibes. I also think he would listen to R&B and rap, but nothing that is too vulgar, he is the stereotypical sunshine character so I don't think it would be in character for him to listen to music that is highly explicit

➥ I feel like yuji definitely listens to music from the 2000s and 2010s, the type of music you would hear on the radio as a kid during that time, the nostalgic type stuff,

➥ I feel like he's a big fan of some of the old Drake music and Kanye's graduation album. I also think he would love Tyler, The Creator

songs

♪ Stronger: Kanye West ♪ Loving Is Easy: Rex Orange County ♪ Games On Your Phone: 24kGoldn ♪ Glitter: Tyler, The Creator ♪ Headlines: Drake

──────────────────────────────

✦ megumi

➥ my favorite emo, he for sure listens to dorky music, such as Weezer (hence, gege made Island In The Sun his theme song), probably some alt and rock

➥ though everyone calls megumi emo I don't think he would listen to sad/depressing 24/7 unless something horrible happened to him (the recent manga chapter) I think overall for somebody as grumpy as megumi, he does listen to more upbeat, positive music

➥ I think that he would listen to older music, stuff from the late '90s and early 2000s; I honestly think he listens to a little of everything in regards to the era. honestly whatever he does listen to relates to him or has some kind of story or meaning to it, if yk what I mean

songs

♪ You Get What You Give: New Radicals ♪ QUEER: BROCKHAMPTON ♪ Time to Pretend: MGMT ♪ I Want A Dog: Weezer ♪ Wake Me Up When September Ends: Green Day

──────────────────────────────

✦ nobara

➥ listens to more women artists than men (a true girls girl) regardless of the music genre, she's going to be more interested in women singers

➥ since nobara is very confident in herself and her abilities, she listens to music that makes her feel confident. Seeing her listening to sad music as she self-loath isn't in character for her

➥ a large majority of the music she enjoys is queer-coded (she's a lesbian, fight me about it)

songs

♪ Brand New City: Mitski ♪ Cherry Bomb: The Runaways ♪ Silk Chiffon: MUNA ♪ Broken Clocks: SZA ♪ Just A Girl: No Doubt

──────────────────────────────

✦ maki

➥ I get the vibes that she listens to rock music and also likes pop and some R&B; it’s a mix of all three tbh

➥ similar to Nobara, I can see her listening to music that makes her feel powerful, little music that is self-loathing; she’s trying to keep up with her stern and strong appearance

➥ is a Megan thee stallion fan, listens to her while training

songs

♪ Conceited: SZA ♪ I’m So Sick: by Flyleaf ♪ Did It On’em: Nicki Minaj ♪ Cocky Af: Megan Thee Stallion ♪ Hard Times: Paramore

──────────────────────────────

✦ todo

➥ All upbeat music, not a single sad or depressing song on his playlist

➥ Because it’s all upbeat music, he usually listens to rap and R&B. His workout playlist is the only playlist he listens to

➥ Also listens to music from female artists that are his type (Megan Thee Stallion, etc.), and he tends to listen to music that is explicit about women

songs

♪ Baby Got Back: Sir Mix-A-Lot ♪ Started From the Bottom: Drake ♪ Faneto: Chief Keef ♪ You Better Move: Lil Uzi Vert ♪ DOGTOOTH: Tyler, The Creator

──────────────────────────────

✦ yuta

➥ I think Yuta's musical taste combines Yuji’s and Megumi’s. On the one hand, he’s a lover boy, sunshine MC, and on the other hand, he has an emo/self-loathing part of his personality

➥ Given the genres, I would say he would listen to rock, alternative, bedroom pop, and Indi

➥ I think that yuta is open to listening to any type of music, he's interested in hearing other people's favorite music and he's also a bit of people pleaser so even if he doesn't like he'll agree so the other person doesn't get upset

songs

♪ Can’t Dance, Don’t Ask Me: Weezer ♪ Creep: Radiohead ♪ Day ‘N’ Nite: Kid Cudi ♪ Television/So Far So Good: Rex Orange County ♪ Bad Habit: Steve Lacy

──────────────────────────────

✦ hakari

➥ Listens to rap and R&B, without a doubt, and maybe some rock music from time to time

➥ Knowing that it is canon that he is a rebel and doesn’t like following the rules, I can see it fitting him also the fact that he’s a bookie and a player

➥ he's a drake fan

songs

♪ Baby Keem: Baby Keem ♪ Bad and Boujee: Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert ♪ I Don’t Know Dem: Chief Keef ♪ F**kin Problems: A$Ap Rocky ♪ Crazy Story: King Von

──────────────────────────────

✦ kirara

➥ Based on their appearance and fashion style, they listen to alternative, rock, and dance/electronic

➥ kirara definitely giving off 2000s emo type music

➥ Since hakari and kirara are always together, kirara started to like hakari music more

songs

♪ freak show: Punkinloveee ♪ Ginseng 2002: Yung lean ♪ Helena: My Chemical Romance ♪ GOOD LOYAL THOTS: Odetari ♪ Hands Up!: 6arelyhuman

──────────────────────────────

✧ a/n: I had a hard time with a few characters; you would think, since I have over 1.9k liked songs, it would be easier lol. Anyway, feel free to comment your opinions and/or if you agree or not

[22degreehalo]

The thing that means the most to me about Steven Universe, the thing that I strive so hard to find in all forms of media because it is so important to me, is that it is both very kind and very sad.

Steven Universe is cute. It’s pastel and chiptune and anime-inspired and it features funny faces and delicious sweets and quirky songs with ukeleles. It is also a show about guilt and depression and mourning and failure.

And that just. I need things like that so fucking much. Nothing else feels like it captures the reality of my life better. Because when you’re really depressed, you don’t get to always go out in gloomy rains in all-black clothing reciting emo poetry. Sometimes the sun is shining and you’re wearing a pretty dress and listening to idol music, and you are still unhappy. 

But it helps!!!!! It helps more than anything else for me, as strange or shallow as it sounds. Things that are Big and Meaningful just make me ruminate. Other people make me anxious. But a cute bird I see on the street is a cute bird. Songs about trying your hardest because you’re doing what you love speak to me.

I don’t always trust directed kindness; other people doing nice things for me just makes me scared I won’t be able to do the same for them. I like directionless, generalised compassion. The thought that there is someone out there who does in fact want me to happy, and it isn’t based on ANY kind of actual quality of mine, because I’m not sure of any of them. It is just because I am a human being and they like to see other human beings happier.

That’s why Steven Universe means so much to me. It’s about struggling and trying so hard and then you do some laundry. It’s things lingering in you for a long time because you can’t just Call Someone Out or whatever and suddenly be done with it. It’s about being weird and nice and cheering people up, and the ways that can actually make the world so much better of a place. It’s not about forcing people into anger or punishing the right people but about wanting people not to suffer, in its purest form.

[subnaut1ca]

I think ppl are sosososoososo soooo silly for getting mad at doja saying she hates her fans lmao

Like.... lol yall have sm time ig 😭😭

Idk like... I have no idea what's up with the drama with her boyfriend or whatever, I don't care enough about celeb drama to look it up or waste my time reading about it but if he's as bad of a guy as everyone says he is, that's definitely rough and her endorsing someone who has done smth hurtful or bad is like a bad thing, but she's an adult woman lmao, she has the brain capacity to make her own decisions. Probably more mindfully and logically than the ppl who don't know them typing on the internet...

That aside,

Ppl that say they hate her cause she called her fans out saying they're cringe, or that she hates them/doesn't love them or whatever or says they're cringe, LOL as a doja fan, I think that's some queen powerful pussy shit, like that's so funny girl😭😭 like idk how ppl are so sensitive to take that so personally, like you're telling me, you walk about your day, ahitting your pants over a GENERAL TWEET doja SENT TO TO GENERAL INTERNET saying her fans are whatever?? You're telling me, you care so much about what this person who has never met you, talked to you, or seen you said about a group of ppl??? That's like me saying I hate Cheswick the 3rd... who is Cheswick the 3rd I don't fucking know he could be somebody out there never met him, what's the impact you might ask?? Absolutely nothing, I'm talking straight outta my asshole. What I'm saying doesn't matter especially in context to cheswick. Idk it's ao wild to me that ppl walk around feeling sad that doja cat doesn't love the people she has never seen and met her, and told her she's ugly, or objectified her or whatever. Like ofc that's a group of ppl only, but I get how it can get to a person. Idk this new edgy style she's going for I think is smth she's doing for herself and smth she wants to show she can break out from what her label which she obviously hated made her make lmao ppl are so simple minded and so binary with their thinking, like im not even gonna label what the reason behind her style change is cause ppl ate complex and maybe if I keep guessing I can get to the ballpark I could get it, but I'll never really get the exact reason lol cause that's smth for her lol. Ik it's like ironic to be like meeeh why are ppl blah blah blah they have sm free time to think about mee mee mee l and I'm literally writing an essay abt it. But Idk I peeped her comments and was just kinda thinking so thought I might as well rant abt it in my diary to myself. Idk I'm not pissed off or being dojas keyboard warrior cause I think she's prolly at fault for whatever bf drama is, but when it comes for being an ass online to fans, is it proffessional?? No. Do I care??? Not really it's kinda funny. Do I think she's doing this to lose fans purposefully cause she's over being a celebrity and is still under signature??? Probably. Is she doing it for press??? Yk what they say all press is good press I guess. Was that bars I just spit??? Absolutely yes. Anyways to my main point ppl are so parasocial sit ur ass down, she never lived ur ass uhhhhhh she's not going insane prolly yall sound like mothers being like what hapoened to my sweet beautiful smiling girl 😭😭 when your daughters turns emo uhm, just like idk stop being cringe its her life you dont know what's best for her lmao you don't even know her.

Anyways... deuces

Also ps (edit)

In the song I literally linked there's a FUCKING LINE IN THE SONG THAT SAYS

Quote-> "fans ain't dumb, but extremists are"

Lol stew on that a little yall then rethink yourself

[woozi]

henlo yza beloved <33

oh my god <//3 love the way you put it honestly, the way you're so smart <3 the answer was right there and i managed to miss it 😭 i was lichrally like " ok so river dried up no thoughts head empty " and now it's as if the last missing puzzle piece finally fit itself in my mind jdjsksks that really explains whys and hows of haku ending up there, btw the importance of names and home in this movie was so heartwarming 🥺

also that's so sad to think about though, haku not having any place outside of the spirit world also means he might never get to meet chihiro 😭😭😭 ( unless he found a little something like home in chihiro ( yk home being a person instead of some house ) then idk he can become a water body anywhere she lives, if or when he decides on meeting her. like you know there is someone out there calling out his name or missing him which gives acknowledgement to his existence thus making a tiny place available somewhere where he is wanted even if as just a visiting guest) ok but honestly i'm also kind of okay with them never meeting hddjdj like even though it's sad there's still some kind of comfort in knowing the fact that some people only come into your life to help you grow in good way!/ intentionally or unintentionally helping e/o through tough times and then moving on )

also honestly same 😭😭😭🥺 i feel like we've been talking since ages, thank YOU for even taking out time to listen and reply to my nonsense fr, i'm so glad i sent that ask to tell you, your " im skydiving with vernon " tag was funny 😭🥺 i really enjoy talking to you

SPEAKING OF VERN how excited are you for his mixtape? would love to hear your thoughts!, i feel like he's gonna come out with some emo rock/grunge banger tbh, basing on the artwork and his love for avril lavigne songs hdjdjdkd whatever it is i know i'm gonna eat it up bc i live for his verses in hhu songs

hope you're doing well yza 🤍, and you too after 21st take some time out for yourself and recharge, you deserve it <333 love you 🥺 thank you for hanging out with me as always, bestie <333

(honestly had nothing extra to add 😭 dec is kicking me fr. days are just going by i have had no idea about which day it is this whole month 💀 also i haven't forgotten about the movie i'm gonna dm you details after i send this, feel free to check after 21st! )

MA CHERIEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😻😻😻😻

NAURRRRRRRRRRR i am not smart i'm just one for obsessing over details fjkfjdkfjdk AND I KNOW </3 it was such a good concept esp considering how our identities are so tied up with the names given to us by birth and the names with which we choose to present ourselves with!! AND UR MIND HELLO???????????? also agreed <33 i'm fine w the bittersweet ending (i… love them actually 😭)

ALSO PLS NOOOOOOOO i should be the one thanking u fr </3 lich rally where would i be without ur lil ask </3

AND URE SO REAL FOR THIS PLS FKJDFJFDJKFDJK i also find myself gravitating towards his verses we r besties fr 😋 and u r right once again omg it gave early 2000s <3 WHAT DO U FEEL ABT IT!!! i personally like the band ver more, it feels a lot more raw!! think the way mainstream kr companies (honestly cant be said for the indie ones theyre going IN on it there) produce rock music is so… tame for lack of better word, but the band ver ate fr tbh <33 IM KINDA SAD SOME OF THE SCENES OF HIM IN THE BLACK TANK TOP DIDNT SHOW UP ON THE MV THOUGH </3333333 HE LOOKED SO GOOD

i've been getting to rest a bit until i received an e-mail from one of my professors today 😭 now it's a sign for me to get back to work, i still have more finals and more deadlines for january, but after that i'd be FINALLY getting a real break 😋

AND NO PLS FDKJDFJ I FEEL U!! i hope ure getting to rest as well and that you've had a great time this holiday season <33 love u thank u for always being here 🥰 MWAH

[werewolf-witchboy]

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

[rayofsunas]

 haikyuu!! as dads (pt.1)

A/n: hello! starting off with a clean slate here yay! if some of the first few seem so short and the writing seems different, it’s because I wrote half of this like three days ago- anywways, requests are open btw!!

Summary: haikyuu characters as dads/domestic living. 

Pairings: Semi Eita, Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, Oikawa Toru, Kenma Kozume 

Warnings: some timeskip spoilers, fluff, parenting, angst (kinda) swearing (maybe), crack, all characters are aged up

Word count: 1.8k 

Part Two!

Semi Eita

- the serious sometimes scary looking dad, but other than that he’s a fluff ball

- he may look scary but he simply cannot punish them for anything 

- especially after they bonded over music, legit cannot do nothing wrong

- on the days he’s not working or with his bandmates, you can often find him with his twin daughters, teaching them how to use different musical instruments 

- okay, so your daughters are still pretty young, so they aren’t very good at using most instruments, but for Christmas you and Semi got them both a small set of drums, something easy

- it was very cute to come home from work to see your husband and daughters loudly practicing on the drums

- sure at first it gave you a blasting headache, but after a while you got used to it, and even jammed out with them when you had the time

- mainly just random sounds/beats coming from the two five year olds, but Semi doesn’t mind, he’s willing to teach them and he does proudly 

- if one of his daughters or both wants too

- definitely writes songs for his daughters and you

- i can see him writing lullaby’s for them and working on them for hours making sure they were perfect

- lets just say they were perfectly beautiful 

- because you went to high school together, the nickname “semi semi” stuck with you (thanks chicken tendo)

- but your girls will also cutely call him “semi semi”

- you often bring them to concerts despite semi saying it’s probably too loud for them

- he’ll let you sit safely with them back stage uwu

- after he runs back to you three and is bombarded with hugs, high-fives and kithes

- YOU’RE ALL SO PROUD OF HIM

Bokuto Koutarou

- bokuto is a hyper dad, which we all saw coming. there is no taking the child out of bo

- i feel like he’d want tons of kids, probably even uses his children as an excuse to act the way he does

- i can see him with a few kids, 3 to be exact (2 boys and 1 girl)

- he likes to be really involved with his children, and gets very sad/emo when he doesn’t see them for short/long periods of time

- for example, the Black Jackals is a whole different game field than high school volleyball and it’s much more time consuming and has him away a lot 

- when he does come home and has time off, let’s just say he clings to his children like a puppy

- even after a while THEY get sick of him and wanna ditch him, cue emo bo :(

- if his children gang up on him (which they do) cue emo Bo again :(

- he babies them all, can’t ever say no

- tends to go back on his word lmao

- if your oldest son begs and begs for season tickets to his favorite sports team? Bo KNOWS they can be expensive, and he was even scolded by you, but two hours after saying no, he runs back to his son and gives him the money 

- if your daughter wants to get her nails done with a group of friends, he knows she picks out the most expensive polishes, etc, BUT HE DOES NOT CARE, he will gladly give her the money and even go with her to get his nails done 

- yes, you heard me

- of course he’ll being chaperone for this girls day, he promises to pretend that he doesn’t know them and keep his distance (sit very far away lol), but after a little while its just hard to contain and he’s screaming to everyone in the salon that his daughter is sitting on the other side of the room eye- 

- your youngest son wants an expensive sports car? done

- he just wants to make his family happy, pleaseee

 Kuroo Tetsurou 

- poor Kuroo, he has 2 daughters and you, so he’s surrounded by girls lol 

- he actually doesn’t mind it tbh

- between you and his two daughters, he wouldn’t have it any other way

- just gives him an excuse to be overly protective

- anywhere in public, expect either kuroo holding your hand

- or holding his daughters close to him (piggy back rides, yes)

- or, he stands protectively behind you and your daughters while you talk to someone, sending them threatening glares behind your backs 

- he was shy as a child, so it wasn’t surprising when one of his daughters, the youngest, was very very shy

- he doesn’t mind once again, just gives him an excuse to be protective 

- although he’s busy, he always makes time for his girls ALWAYS

- definitely a bragger

- if his family is brought into a convo, he pridefully will express how cute and smart his daughters are, may or may not openly declare his daughters are the cutest amongst his co-workers children

- he’s mad intuitive and aware/observant

- kuroo always knows when one or both of his daughters are about to start crying/throw a fit

- cue dad kuroo prepared to crack funny chemistry and or science jokes

- his shy daughter finds him very funny, doubles over every time he cracks a joke and calls him a “silly rooster”

- even when she's older she still laughs and even copies his jokes

- but his other daughter just cringes, every time sigh

- when she was younger she used to fake the laughs, but when he started saying the jokes in public she just stopped reacting, hoping he would stop-

- he didn’t...

- i like to imagine kuroo and kenma staying friends even after high school, and since kenma has hella video games and a whole arcade in his house, he’ll often bring his daughters over to his house

- his eldest daughter loves it at uncle kenma’s house

- cue jealous rooster dad

Oikawa Toru 

- okay so oikawa is ALWAYS busy

- isn’t home much, except during off seasons or if he messes up his knee again (yes, it’ll happen) 

- in the event that he’s home due to a knee injury, he’ll wanna be catered too lmaooo

- he doesn’t expect his little girl to cater to him and really only teases you about it

- but his daughter will get him whatever he needs while he’s propped up on the couch

- she admires him so much

- his daughter kinda has a smart mouth-

- definitely got that from him, having picked up on it from a young age, while he was home

- when he was home once propped up with a messed up knee, she went “here dadkawa” as she handed him an ice pack

- he laughs at the nickname, asking you about where it came from later

“she was on call with hajime’s daughter yesterday... hajime asked how ‘poopykawa’ was doing”

- he just rolls his eyes, “at least he cleaned it up for her sake” you explained 

- will not lose the “kawa” part, so it’s dadkawa lol

- when he’s away, she’s always asking for dadkawa

- when he’s here they're inseparable

- morning breakfast now will be her sitting in his lap instead of yours

- she asks to watch cartoons with him instead of you :(

- bath time consists of her arguing with you as you try to wash her hair, while oikawa sits on the closed toilet seat laughing to himself

- “mommy i want dadkawa to wash my hair!”

- “you always whine that he gets soap in your eyes”

- “I don’t care!”

- when you bring your daughter to games, she’ll be cheering him on proudly, “mommy, look at dadkawa!” “GO DADKAWA!!!!”

- since he plays for the professional Argentine team, i figure you all live in Argentina now, traveling from Argentina and Japan was tiring, so you moved to be closer

- when the news approaches him after or before games, he makes sure to show his daughter off and the whole time it’s his daughter stealing the show

- she might be shy at first, but as long as dadkawa is holding her, she’s fine

- he’ll teach her Spanish, defiantly sings happy birthday to her in Spanish because it’s special

- he calls her his princesa (princess in spanish)

Kenma Kozume 

- if his child didn’t enjoy video games like him or any of his hobbies like volleyball, I feel like Kenma would have a hard time with them

- he loves his son yes, but he’d have a hard time interacting with him, especially if he’s not into video games or volleyball

- if he is though, you can often find the two in kenma’s home office, playing games

- when your son was a infant, you would always come home from being out/work to find your son sitting in his pj’s on kenma’s lap watching his dad play video games 

- “it’s late, ken. i see he’s already in his pj’s- did you already have dinner?” “yes”

- “without me?” you asked, lifting up your son to give his cheeks kisses. “there’s apple pie in the fridge.”

- eye-

- yes he fed your son that, yes he needs a little guidance, yes he needs to be told apple pie is NOT dinner

- on another occasion of coming home, you found your boys in the same spot, once again playing video games, your sons eyes drifting between the game and his father every time he muttered under his breath 

- “the screen is bad for your eyes kenma, and he’s just a baby! he’ll get bad eyes too!”

- kenma’s short answer is, “he won’t” 

- when your son got older, and he started getting into video games, it got harder for you to tear his eyes away from the screen

- he’s been around video games his whole life, so of course it’d be hard, you just didn’t think he’d grow attached 

- kenma leaves most of the strict parenting to you, because he LEGIT doesn’t NOT know what to say

- he’s lowkey afraid he’ll push his son away if he says the wrong thing, but he’s also worried that if he doesn't say anything, they’ll have no real relationship, so he struggles 

- he tries his hardest to bond with him over video games and volleyball though

- as said by your son, kenma’s cooking can’t compare to yours, BUT he does know how to make a yummy apple pie

- his son will help kenma with said apple pie, when he’s younger he was often the taste tester and made a mess every time

- kenma gets nervous in huge crowds and really around anyone he doesn’t know, so if his son is a social butterfly he’ll try to get kenma used to people other than himself and you

- somehow, during the rare moments his son has problems (friends, school etc), kenma will be the one to speak up privately

- he’ll definitely tell his son to surround himself with a good friend/good friends, he also makes sure to let him know the importance of quality over quantity 

- he has a brotherly relationship with kuroo, and if not for kuroo he’d be alone, he wants the same thing for his son

10.20.20, rayofsunas 

[frederickthegreat]

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short 

- AWESOME opening soundtrack 

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho 

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape 

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed 

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season 

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting 

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that! 

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic. 

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear. 

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON 

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!! 

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

-  idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for 

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off?? 

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five. 

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him. 

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines 

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful 

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing 

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more. 

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing 

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

[snorlaxlovesme]

Walk Me Home

So I guess I wrote this fic for a SoMa week prompt last year and then didn’t post it??? I found it in my drafts and was really confused what a fully completed one-shot was doing staring back at me lmao

So. Here’s a fic for I think the “2am” prompt. Title a reference to the P!nk song, since I’m pretty sure I spammed it while writing this.

                             ____________________

“Hey. Hey!”

Maka hears Soul’s voice call out from behind her, but she doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t want to talk right now; she wants to leave.

“Jesus, why are you walking so fast? Slow down, fuck’s sake.”

The grit of the sidewalk digs painfully into the heels of her bare feet. It doesn’t slow her down, nor does it stop her. In fact, when she hears Soul’s panting from behind her, she petulantly picks up her speed until his hand is landing on her shoulder and pulling her to a stop. He tugs her around despite her best efforts to keep walking.

“Hey, you wanna tell me what the problem is? Why did you leave the party?” He doesn’t even look mad at her, just concerned, which somehow makes her just feel worse. Soul continues, “I went to go talk to Kid for a few minutes and when I came back everyone said you left. Did something happen?”

Clearly something must have happened. She knows he can see it all over her expression, in the way she bolted away from him. Hell, he can probably feel waves of it coming directly from her soul.  

But she doesn’t want to talk, so she pulls her shoulder away from his grasp and keeps walking, marching towards the direction of home, probably. She’s still a little tipsy, even though she only had a couple drinks at the party. But whoever Kid hires to bartend at the Gallows Mansion has a heavy hand when it comes to mixing drinks. Either her cocktails were stronger than normal or Maka really is the lightweight every assumes she is. She keeps walking despite her protesting feet and the way the world is swaying around her.

“So you’re just not gonna talk to me?” Soul asks, still trailing behind her. She can feel his hand come to rest on her shoulders every now and again, steadying her when she tips a bit too far in one direction, but pulling away once she’s righted herself. Protecting her while also respecting her boundaries. It’s infuriating.

Soul keeps talking to her back. “Was it something it something Black Star said? You know how Star gets when he’s drunk. He’s got no fucking boundaries.”

It’s not Black Star. It’s not anyone specifically. It’s just everyone. It’s everything. It’s nothing. She doesn’t want to explain it, because that would just be another weakness to add to the ever-growing pile.

“I can kick his ass if you want,” Soul keeps trying, knowing full-well that he could never take Black Star in a fight. The pathetic offer almost makes her smile, but she gulps it down and tries not to cry.

Soul circles around in front of her. “Look, you don’t have to tell me, but could you please stop for a sec? You’re not wearing any shoes and your feet are gonna get all fucked up. There could be glass or something.” Maka, being Maka, doesn’t give a damn about potential dangers to herself, and continues marching forward, leaving Soul to roll his eyes and pick up his pace to catch up with her again. She’s trying not to look at him, but she can see the way his eyes widen in his ‘I have an idea’ face, and two seconds later he’s transformed into a scythe in front of her, hovering a few feet off the ground beside her. His wings flap quickly and silently to keep steady beside her.

“Please?” His voice comes his weapon form, tinny and desperate.

Now Maka is the one rolling her eyes. His winged-form only rubs salt in her emotional wounds, but her feet are admittedly in a lot of pain after almost a half mile of walking on cracked concrete. She concedes and throws a leg over his handle. She grabs onto him with both hands, expecting him to whisk her away to their apartment above the buildings of Death City. Soul surprises her by hovering another foot in the air, so her feet don’t drag on the cement, but flying at the same pace she was walking.

The quiet extends before them into the night. The farther they get from the Gallows, the harder it is to hear the booming bass of the music. Soul lets Maka direct them with her soul through the residential neighborhoods and away from crowded streets. She started this walk with the intention of being alone.

But, ten times out of ten she’d rather be with Soul.

She swallows. “Do you care what people think about you?”

On a normal day he’d snark at her for finally deeming him worthy of conversation, but today he’s quiet as he thinks of what response she might be looking for. She can feel he’s trying to pick apart the meaning of this starting question, but eventually just decides to answer honestly.

“Yeah. All the time.”

It’s the truth, Maka can feel in his soul that it is, but she still doesn’t believe it. In the time that Maka has known Soul, he’s grown so much. She’s always admired the way he just lets things roll off his shoulders, not giving a shit what others think about him. Maybe he’s just been faking it, but he does a damn good job playing the Cool Guy he’s always wanted to be as a kid. He makes Maka’s version of the same kind of make-believe feel like child’s play. No one believes in her flimsy brand of confidence.  

“Do you care what people think about us?” she asks.

There’s always been something in the way people talk about the two of them. Soul, the powerful, confident demon weapon that took down Arachne and helped save the world from madness on the moon. Maka, the meister who just managed to hold on for the ride. Maybe that’s not exactly what they say, but it’s implied. In the way other students will look at him with admiration, with appreciation, and then how they look at her, like they’re surprised it was little unstable Maka Albarn who managed to produce a Death Scythe. She knows she’s weak, but do people have to throw it in her face all the time? Like she was the last person they expected to be helpful in the apocalypse?  

Even at a freaking party there are people coming up to Soul and asking him for autographs while Maka stands right next to him. Like somehow they know the exact imbalance of strength between Soul and Maka and they’re disappointed in Maka the same way she is with herself.

Just thinking about it has her unconsciously pulling Soul forward down the street a little faster. She breathes deeply. Just a few more minutes and she’ll be home.

Soul finally speaks, breaking her out of her own internal pity party.  

“No.”

Maka blinks.

No?

“Our partnership is no one’s business but ours. If people have something to say about it, whatever. I only care about one person’s opinion when it comes to our partnership. And that’s you.”

God, it’s such a simple yet complete answer. And he’s totally right, like always. She doesn’t know why she gives a shit what other people think about her and Soul. None of it matters in the end, but God, does Maka wish for once that when she thought of the word “strength” she could picture herself embodying that word instead of never measuring up. Instead of feeling guilty for somehow always thinking she’s holding Soul back.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right?”

Maka’s soul spikes so suddenly in surprise that Soul comes to a halt in the middle of the street.

“I’m serious. I know you wanna be the best meister you can be, but you’re too stuck in your own head to realize how fucked I would be without you as my partner.” He quiets in a way that means he’s gathering his words, and Maka listens with bated breath.  

“You’re the smartest and bravest person I know, okay? And you’re also a reckless moron who pulls some of the craziest shit in battle that I’ve ever seen in my life. It sucks that I have to keep saying this to you, but I’ll keep reminding you until you believe it. The only reason I ever had a prayer of becoming of a Death Scythe was because you’ve been my meister. Stop thinking that you’re not good enough, because you’re better than every asshole at the party. You did something they never could and now never will be able to do.”

Maka closes her eyes for a few heartbeats, allowing this to sink in. Even now, at 2am with the sky pitch dark because of the blackened moon, it’s hard to imagine that she was involved in that fight. She helped save the world and she’s still convinced that she’s somehow not good enough. Maybe Soul’s right, and what they have could only be accomplished with the two of them together. Maybe no one else matters but her and Soul.

“Soul? Transform for me, will you?”

Without hesitation, Soul morphs back into human form, holding her now on piggyback instead of on his weapon form. The shift from being supported by his handle to hanging off his backside is so natural that Maka doesn’t even have to think about it, just adjusts her arms so they’re tighter across his shoulders. She presses her face into the side of his neck in gratitude.

“You always know what to say, you know that?”

Soul snorts and hops a little to scoot her higher up his back. “It’s easy when your soul is practically screaming at me what you’re upset about.” He starts walking again, refusing to put her down because of his stubborn insistence that she’ll hurt her feet. “So. Party sucked for you too, then?”

Now it’s Maka’s turn to snort. All of a sudden the night’s whole emo conclusion feels very overstated. She feels foolish for being so dramatic but remembers that Soul thinks she’s strong even when she’s a drama queen. Depends on her even when she gets caught up in her own head. The reminder calms her soul down considerably.

“Think I drank too much,” she says, nestling closer to his back and laying her arms heavily over his shoulders to remain balanced. “Ox said some dumb shit about me being the weaker partner and it made me sad.”

“Alcohol is a depressant,” Soul says, kind of snooty. He’s repeating what she’s told him on his Moody Drinking nights.  

“Wait a minute,” Soul says. “Did you say Ox? Who the fuck is he to talk about being a weak partner?”

“I thought you said you don’t care what anyone thinks about us.”

“Yeah, but that was before I found out it was fucking Ox Ford who was talking down to you. I could totally take his ass in fight.”

Maka laughs for the first time all night. Soul continues ranting all the way home about how he’s going to beat Ox’s face in the next time he saw him (he won’t) and Maka thinks that maybe real strength is remembering that you always have someone on your side.

[ipromiseiwilltakeyouthere]

Tagged by @explosionshark and I haven’t done one of these in a while so let’s go!

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?-

 Hmm, I’m not really sure. I think one of them actually might be “good riddance (time of your life) by green day which was all over the radio when i was 3 or 4 but maybe or probly nsync or ricky martin or britney spears or something lol. 

2. What is the first band you got into?

Green Day!!! American Idiot came out and I was the right age and it just clicked. Them and My Chemical Romance both shaped my taste!

3. Do you collect any physical music?

Uh. Yeah. I have way too much physical music. Moving it up here to canada was kind of a hassle but I fit it all! I have probly around 200+ cds, maybe more- and over 100 + vinyl, oh and also like 30 tapes probly. (I love cassette tapes)

4. What is your favorite piece of music memorabilia?

All of my vintage nine inch nails shirts and all my pressings of three cheers for sweet revenge on vinyl. But the vintage nin shirts for sure. I have them all in a footlocker back in pennsylvania and I cannot wait to get them back because I love them so much. I snipe em on ebay for great prices (mostly).

5. The favorite concert you’ve been to?

Even though I went with someone that would’ve been nice to not go with, I also went with my brother so- nine inch nails back in 2018. It was also cool to see My Chem at Madison sq. garden back in 08′. But I think nine inch nails put on one of the best shows i’ve ever seen on a big scale. (yo but also back in 2019 seeing ghostemane for the first time was fucking cool as hell)

6. If you could see one artist who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

Nirvana for sure. I think. They’re one of my favorite bands still and to this day I keep finding meaning in their music and through interviews. They genuinely were the musicians who broke the mold and were just doing it because they loved to play music. They’re the first band I can think of. (i think seeing lil peep would be cool too?)

7. Have you met any musicians?

Oh yeah, thomas erak from fall of troy, lemmy from motorhead, frank iero from mcr, ghostemane, chris motionless a bunch of times, jake casualty randomly in the middle of soho lol. and a bunch of other people at warped tour etc. MANY musicians! I wanna meet lady gaga! I wanna meet trent reznor! 

8. What’s your go to album when you’re feeling sad?

You know, I don’t really know. I haven’t really put an album on that I listen to when I get sad in a while (mostly cos I don’t really get sad anymore). I remember listening to a lot of emo going through shit in highschool. But I think I’ll probly go with The Fragile by Nine inch nails- It just gives me a melancholic feeling.  

9. What’s your go to album when you’re feeling happy?

Elephant by the white stripes? That’s the first one that came to mind. Fun to drive to. Or maybe Speak and Spell by depeche mode cos its so upbeat. -edit, deffo fall out boy’s first two records FOR SURE

10. One music documentary you love?

I liked the VH1 metal history series whatever it was called. Shame they only did such a broad range of metal subgenres. Obviously they could have gone way deeper. Like the hip hop one I’m watching on netflix; There is so much history of hip hop its so cool to see how different regions took that genre and bent it in such a short time. Really cool shit. 

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

I really don’t watch live DVDs they’re not really my thing but Bullet in a a Bible by Green Day is obviously a banger. 

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or albums?

Albums if I’m in the car, Albums if I’m spinning wax, playlists if I’m doing chores or something and playlists if I’m in the shower. 

13. Do you listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

playlists go on shuffle but albums are most certainly in order 1000% of the time. if you like albums shuffled you’re a monster. 

14. What is your favorite deep cut song by your favorite artist?

omg Summerboy by lady gaga off of the fame. Pretty much a lot of the fame are some deep cuts and I fucking love that album. I like it rough? Star Struck? bangers. Listen to this album if you like 80s synth dance music- gaga was so ahead of her time. 

15. What is your favorite CD/cassette/vinyl you own in terms of its packaging?

hmm- I think I’d probly go with shout at the devil by motley crue because I got an original pressing that still has a catalog in it to send money to an address and get xyz (shirt, record, accessory) like I just think its really cool. I can’t really think of any that stand out too much. Gatefolds are obviously pretty cool though. But nothing as of right now strikes me. 

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 2 』

· Sept. 26th → One Ball, Heart and Soul ·

Characters: Sawamura Daichi, Testurou Kuroo, Bokuto Koutarou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Oikawa Tooru, Terushima Yuuji

Prompts: A. favourite position/role + B. travel/journey

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, headcanons, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: I found it so hard to pick a favourite position/role, because they're all so interesting and important, and I love everyone 😭 But I settled on the role of captain because of the headcanons I thought of. Captain Sqaud, assemble! So, want to find out what these boys are like on a road trip?

(Just to be clear, I do love all these guys. None of this is hate 😂) All my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have some NSFW stuff on my blog, too. Feel free to check that out~ Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Dad-chi™

Comes prepared with all the food, drinks, snacks, med kit, camera – literally everything you could possibly need on a road trip

Plans out the route beforehand down to the tiniest detail nothing gets past this man

As well as multiple backup routes in case there's diversions etc.

Plans for regular breaks at two-hour intervals where everyone can pee, stretch their legs, buy anything they need, etc.

He's the one who's driving he's not letting anybody else get a scratch on his van, lmao

And he's good at it

No speeding he's a cop, y'all but he doesn't dawdle either, no running red lights, turns corners well, keeps an even foot on the gas, etc.

Just a good time, tbh

Nobody is getting car sick because of him that would be a damn disgrace

"Stop fighting right now, or I'm turning this van around"

And will actually do it if you don't stfu, lmfao

Don't even think about making a mess and dropping your rubbish in the van you'll be walking home

Everyone else thinks his music is boring and for old people, but Daichi honestly doesn't care

Besides, it's either that or no music at all, because he needs to concentrate on the road

He takes this shit seriously. People's lives are in his hands, dammit!

☆ Testurou Kuroo ☆

Likes to switch between driving and riding shotgun/being designated navigator

Is fairly decent at both

Is constantly eating something but, like, he probably doesn't even know what it is

Some kind of edible is shoved towards his mouth by whoever's riding shotgun, and in it goes shut up. Not like that, you cretins 😂

Somehow manages to behave like an overbearing grandparent and an overexcited child at the same time?? Nothing new there, I guess 😂

I'm sorry, Kuroo, I love you. Please don't be mad 😭

Has a banging playlist full of throwback songs from the 90s and early 2000s

Drums along sofly on the steering wheel or dashboard constantly

HATES driving in rain he's low-key terrified he's going to aquaplane

Likes driving with the windows wound down and feeling the wind in his hair

Will plan the route, but then forget to save it/print it off, etc.

Cannot work Google Maps or SAT-NAVs to save his life Kenma, please help him

Actually packs properly balanced meals, but is heavy on the snacks, too

You'd think he'd drive too fast, but he's actually really responsible

Constantly telling dad jokes to try and keep people amused the groaners are the best

Would probably fight someone at the gas station if they started being a dick and causing trouble

Kuroo, baby. I love you, but please don't get arrested 😭😂😭

☆ Bokuto Koutarou ☆

Dear God, do NOT let him drive leave it to Akaashi, I'm begging you

Has really bad spacial awareness in a vehicle and drifts all over the place

Probably speeds without even knowing it, too

Likes to ride shotgun, but is a terrible navigator, so is nearly always made to ride in the back

Is the loud one that moves around too much and blocks the rear view mirror strap him in tight, Akaashi

Belts along at the top of his voice to whatever music is playing, he's not fussy

Was told to pack essential items in his backpack and proceeded to fill it with sweets and snacks and a pack of condoms??? and thought he did good

Bokuto: Bro, you said they were essential

Akaashi: NOT FOR EVERY SITUATION

Rarely ever has to pee, but when he does, it's always miles away from any service station, and he has to hold it for hours

Has definitely peed at the side of the road multiple times because he couldn't hold it any longer, but he wasn't even embarrassed as numerous cars zoomed past

Likes sticking his head out the window like a dog on the motorway which gives everyone else heart attacks

Like, get the hell back inside you maniac 😭

If the car has a sunroof, he's 100% standing up through it with his hands in the air just you try and stop him

And they will. Everyone will try

"HORSES!!"

Will get out of the car in traffic jams to find out what's going on and end up chatting with random strangers until it starts moving again

And he's very sad when he has to leave his new friends. Droopy hair and emo Kou for the next 2 hours :(

Unironically enjoys playing 'I Spy' for hours at a time

Is a bit much to handle in such a confined space for hours on end, but he's just so excited for the road trip

Will fall sound asleep in a matter of minutes if you set him up with a travel pillow and it's freaking adorable!!

☆ Ushijima Wakatoshi ☆

No music whatsoever it's distracting. Why would he want it?

Okay driver, brilliant paper-map navigator

Will sit and do absolutely nothing but stare out the window the entire trip if he's neither

Breaks too hard and accelerates too fast, though

Is also kind of heavy-handed with the gear stick he may or may not have snapped one off before...

Never give him a SAT-NAV, though, because he will follow the directions with 100% accuracy and end up driving through a wall or some shit don't try and deny it

Does he ever even blink when he's looking at the road? We may never know

Might be astral projecting, who knows

Forgets people need toilet breaks but refuses to make unscheduled stops

"Just hold it in"

Uh-huh, sure. That's how that works, Toshi

No snacks

Or rather, no fun snacks. Protein bars and mineral water all the way, babyyyy 🙃🙃🙃

Could probably drive all through the night without taking any breaks but that's irresponsible

Don't do it, kids

Will likely devour the entire KFC menu at the service station he's big, okay? He eats a lot

Is prone to leg cramp after long drives oh look, he needs a massage 😏

Doesn't get car sick. Ever. Upset stomachs are for the weak

Has garbage and recycling pouches on the backs of the front seats use them correctly, or feel his wrath

Isn't exactly a barrel of laughs, but it's somehow endearing just like always *happy sigh*

But it's actually a good thing

There's no hidden side to Ushi or any bad or annoying habits that come out of the woodwork on a long road trip

He's just the same old reliable, adorably straightforward Ushijima ❤

☆ Oikawa Tooru ☆

Calls shotgun and demands the aux cord every. Single. Time but it's pretty decent music, so no-one really complains

Not that he's any good at navigation pray for Iwa-chan

Is constantly taking selfies, making TikToks, and documenting the trip on his social media

#ROADTRIP #SQUAD GOALS #BETTER THAN YOU

Will send all the photos in the group chat when it's over, and they actually come out pretty well

Will not stop complaining if the air conditioning is busted and Iwa-chan will threaten to dump him in the middle of nowhere if he doesn't can it 😂

Iwa-chan: I shoulda left you on that street corner where you were standing

Oikawa: But'cha dIDN'T

Bonus points if you get that reference, lmao

Has to keep taking breaks because his butt hurts when he sits down for too long because it's fLaT

I'm sorry, Tooru 😭😭 Forgive me. I love you, really

Is constantly on his phone

But he points out pretty views and interesting sights to everyone all the time awww

Low-key needs to pee all the time, but gets defensive if someone brings it up please stop bulling him, travelling is hard

"Are we there yet?"

Seems kind of annoying, but is actually just genuinely excited to go on a road trip and spend time with his friends 😭😭

Buys matching souvenirs for everyone in secret to surprise them with 🥺

When people complain about all the photos, souvenirs, and enthusiasm, etc. and ask why he has to keep doing it, Oikawa says:

"I want to remember as much of this as possible. I want us all to remember as much of this as much as possible," with a sweet little smile 😭😭😭

And that's when everyone realises how mean they've been to him about being over-the-top and irritating, and they all feel terrible

Just like in the freaking anime, man

☆ Terushima Yuuji ☆

Will hijack the aux cord to play his incredibly niche music taste

Feet up on the dashboard when he rides shotgun

Shoes on is bad enough, but shoes off just stinks up the entire car you have to roll all the windows down, lmfao

Will break all sorts of road laws if you let him behind the wheel please don't

Daichi will come and arrest him 😭😭

Lives on energy drinks

That's all the drinks he packs. Nothing else

Travels in sports wear and sliders yes, even though you reallly shouldn't drive in sandals

Like he knows or cares 😭

Will chat to girls at the gas station and ask for their numbers, even though he's never going to see them again

"You never know, man! It could be, like, fate or something"

Yes, Yuuji, you do. And it's 'or something'

Thinks it's a good time to sext his current booty call because, like, he has hours of free time. What else is he going to do?

Probably forgot to pack actual food

Has to live off of snacks and cheap service station food for the duration of the trip

But not his own snacks, of course. Everyone else's one doesn't keep friends and buy one's own snacks

Genuinely doesn't realise if he's being gross or annoying, so let him down lightly like a bro and he'll probably make an effort to stop

Doesn't plan the route or anything, even if he's driving. Just punches it into Google Maps as he sits his ass down on the day and trusts it to get him there in one piece and on time

Entire Johzenji team: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

For some reason knows how to change a flat tire, though, so he's good for something, I guess 😂😂

Probably saw a YouTube video on it. Maybe a WikiHow article

Somehow still manages to be an endearing part of the trip??

He smiles a lot and makes a lot of jokes, particularly when things go wrong, so it keeps everyone's spirits up

It definitely wouldn't be the same without him

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[oikawasbread]

hello!! omg :( may i get 10 + akaashi for the promptlist?? hopefully something with fluff, i don't think i can take angst at all rn HAHA

“I need you to tell me that I’m a good person.’’

-

I RECOMMEND THIS SONG only if u want to, ofc

AKAASHI KEIJI x READER - PERSPECTIVE [angst - fluff]

 I am sorry bb!!! i couldn’t help to add some angsty parts; but dw everything ends on a fluffy note <3 

letsgooo

         You’ve been raised like this.

“ You’re not going to become anything with that attitude.” “ Your personality is going to get you nowhere.” “ Why are you even so rude, you know we are right. “

         So you started to actually believe it. You were a bad person. You were mean, rude, you “didn’t care” about anything. It looked like you were also selfish. But those things didn’t surprise you anymore; of course it hurt; but it was nothing new. You are saying your opinion? “Stop being like this.” You are not allowing someone to do something to you? “Mean.” You dare to stand up for yourself? “Quit the attitude”.

        “Your friends have noticed your anger issues, your mood swings; but apparently you didn’t need help, you needed to be told the truth : that you should not be so rude and scary”

You were waiting for some new insults, new reproaches.

 almost ready to give up.

        “What college are you going to apply after high school?”       “I don’t really know.. dad. I was thinking about a medical college. You know, since I’m pretty good at c-“       “Since you’re pretty good? Do you think ‘pretty good’ is enough?”       “Dad, I am good at chemistry and biology; of course there’s kids out there way better than me. But I still have 2 years to improve.”       “Yeah, this is what you’ve been saying since last year. And here you are, still being ‘pretty good’ and not ‘the best’.”       “Honestly, yes Y/n. You’re never doing anything. You’re never helping me around the house, you haven’t opened a book since this holiday started, and you wanna get better? How are you planning on doing that?”       “What does that even mean? I’ve been buried in papers, school work and books for the final exam all this month. I am on 2nd place in class and I’ve been helping you with everything you asked me.”       “Shut it, we’re eating right now. Stop with this discussion.”       “I’m not the one who started it.” This was enough. To shut it? They are the ones who started talking about this whole topic.       “See, y/n? Even you admitted it. You’re on 2nd place, so that means you’re not the best.”       “Can YOU do what I’m doing? Learn all this new information while having zoom classes, helping around the house and taking care of the dog. Because by the way, I’m the one who-“

-

your ears were burning after your dad’s hand made contact with the left half of your face.

      you couldn’t even see clearly because of the tears;the heartache started to become physical pain; you could literally feel your heart breaking. “See? This attitude of yours will stop you from doing anything and you’ll only get to lose because of it. You could’ve chose to be a good daughter and shut up instead of questioning me and your mother.”

this was clearly the drop that filled the glass

-

      You ran upstairs and locked yourself in your room. The worst time to cry is when you have to hide it. You were shoving your head into the pillow, trying to stop your screams of frustration. When was this going to end? Why you? You tried your best but it still wasn’t enough; you did everything everyone wanted but you still weren’t a good person. Were they considering themselves good people? Your parents, your friends, your classmates. It was all about perspective; wasn’t it?

      Or probably not. Maybe you actually were a bad person who was trying to convince herself that it isn’t true, since you were the only one who had this point of view.

       You had to see someone, you needed to. But from the endless contact list you had, there was no one who could tell you what you needed to hear.

Until you saw his name : Akaashi Keiji. 

The quiet boy who was sitting behind you at school, the one who never talked to you but somehow you had his number; probably from the class gc. You weren’t sure if he had yours saved. But that was the whole point; you never spoke to each other, so he didn’t knew you. Maybe if he sees you in this situation and hears the whole thing, he will tell you what you needed to hear, he will reassure you. Even if it was because you pitied him and he wanted to get rid of you faster, it didn’t matter.

So you pressed “call”.

-

-

-

      “Hello?”

      “Hi.. I’m sorry to bother you. I just..”

¬ you just what? are you going to tell him : “Hi Akaashi, I have serious issues at home, can we talk about it even though all you know about me is my name?” or maybe “Hey Akaashi, can we meet ? I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

      “You just what… Y/n?” you snapped       “Oh.. you have my number?”       “Well, yeah.. From the class group chat. And I suppose you have mine.”       “Yeah, I just wanted to..”

and you get trapped again in your thoughts, but his voice brings you back

      “Can we maybe meet up? I can clearly see that you can’t tell me over the phone, whatever the issue might be. Maybe face to face you will be able to find your words.”       “Oh shoot. I mean, yeah, I’ll meet you downtown in 15!”       “Alright, goodbye Y/n.”       “See you, Akaashi.” ¬was this actually happening?

¬

The 15 minutes had finally passed and you saw him on a bench, waiting for you. You almost forgot about the reason you called him when you noticed how pretty was Akaashi in the moonlight. Akaashi was an observant man so it hasn’t passed much time until he noticed your red and puffy eyes, a subtle mark on your face, your pink nose and your dry lips. Your eyes were shining and he felt so bad for thinking that you’re beautiful after something awful probably happened to you.

      “I’m sorry. You probably had better things to do.”

      “Well, I mean, we don’t know each other that well. Of course I had better things to do since we’ve never talked before, but my feet dragged me here. And my brain wasn’t the one who told you that I wanna meet up with you. I don’t know why I did that.” He watches your bright expression fade away and being replaced by a disappointed one. He didn’t mean it to sound like he didn’t wanna be here.

      “From all you know, I could actually be a murderer.” he lets out a subtle smile after finishing the sentence and you can’t help but to smile as well, even though your smile is not that subtle as his but it makes him proud of himself.

There’s was a chaotic silence and you weren’t making any visual contact, but instead you were stargazing. You never actually noticed how bright the sky was at night. It wasn’t that bright, like during the day, making your eyes hurt when you look at it; it was a peaceful light.

 You were analyzing the stars; but Akaashi was analyzing the most beautiful one, who was standing next to him.

He couldn’t help but let his thoughts wonder: was it a problem with your parents? maybe you had some bullies? worse; an abusive boyfriend? He comes back to reality when he notices that you’re open your mouth, wanting to say something.         “Can you help me become a better person?”

But.. what makes you think you aren’t a good person, Y/n? Who told you that you need to change? he was wondering.You look slightly over your shoulder just to see him with his mouth a bit open, with a surprised expression.

      “Well, Akaashi? Are you the one with no words right now?”       “No, Y/n. But why would you do that?”       “You mean, why do I wanna become a good person?”       “No, I mean, why would you change something about yourself? What makes you think you are a bad person?”

You were the shocked one right now. I mean, he saw you as a good person? He doesn’t think you are mean? He doesn’t have a bad impression about your sudden crying at school and your anger issues?

      “What do you mean? You don’t know me outside of the school, you only know me as a classmate. Have you not seen the way I act in class? Have you not heard everyone’s opinions? That I am-“

      “I mean yeah, I did. But do I look like the type of person who follows the herd? Am I not allowed to my own opinion, Y/n?”

      “Of course you are.” you feel bad for almost yelling at him. His eyes looked sad.       “Standing right behind you for such a long time made me know you without even realising it. I’ve noticed so many little details about you, and please don’t think of me as a pervert or something. But you were in front of me everyday so- “Calm down, Akaashi. I won’t.” you say laughing, unable to stop. He was cute getting flustered over the thought that you may get him wrong.

      “I am calm, Y/n.. but, why do you wanna change something about you, after all?” then everything comes back to you; the sound of your dad shouting at you, then the slap; the insults from your friends; so you shed a tear ¬      

      Akaashi is actually worried now; he notices again the mark on your face so he builds up the courage to ask you what happened.

“Akaashi, please. I know I can be angry and mean for no reason at all sometimes, I know I may not be the best person. But tell me that I am a good person. I need you to tell me that despite all that, I am actually a good friend, a good daughter, a good person overall. Because I need this, you have to reassure me or I might give up on being good for real, and be exactly like how they are picturing me to be.”

       He is processing every word you’re saying and his heart breaks; why did you have such a bad impression about yourself?       “Y/n.. You know I just told you that staying behind you made me realise so many things about you. Even if we haven’t talked, it feels like we are actually good friends,  because I’ve seen you crying during class, burying your head in your backpack thinking no one notices. I’ve seen you being so proud of youself after passing a test that most of the class had failed; because in the next second you would message your parents letting them know; I’ve seen how affected you are by our classmates’ harsh words. Trust me, your anger issues aren’t that big of a problem. You have  nothing on Bokuto’s emo mode.”       There’s the smile he’s been wanting to see again.       “The conclusion is that I can clearly see the fact that you’re not just a good person; but a blessing in your parents’ and friends’ lives. And if they don’t appreciate you, it’s their loss. Even if we never spoke until tonight, I felt somehow close to you.”       “So.. after all, I am a good person?” your eyes can’t meet his because you know you’ll burst out crying. But he was the first person to make you cry tears of joy. You needed this so much, you wanna feel this sensation more often ; the feeling of someone having faith in you and not wanting you to be the best out of everyone, but the best version of yourself.       “Of course you’re not. You’re actually hilarious when you’re angry. I am used to sudden mood swings, trust me. Maybe you just hadn’t met the right people.”

-

And you knew he was right. It actually was just about perspective. You may look like the bad guy, but in someone else’s story, you are a good person. From someone else’s point of view, you are actually the best. You just need to meet the people who will understand you and will immediately shape a connection with you; 

¬ it is all about perspective and being in the right place, with the right people.

omg this came out way longer than I wanted it to be but it kinda helped me getting my emotions out? I really really hope you like it bb!!:’( I still have second thoughts about it.

- Riley

[aforrestofstuff]

Okay! I have a burning question for you, my dude. Music is my life, and I wanna know what kind of music the OPM casts listen to. Thanks, my guy!

I had a feeling this would be inevitable lol. I don’t really know a whole lot about music or genres or anything like that so I’m just gonna give you a rundown of each character individually and some song recs along with that just to smooth things out a little. Thanks for your ask, by the way! ❤️ Now my playlists will be put to good use.

A Brief Rundown of the Major OPM Characters’ Music Tastes:

Blast: hc that he doesn’t even have ears since he never fucking LISTENS

Terrible Tornado: Stuff that makes her feel powerful. Loud vocals and good instrumentals. Also, she’s a little angsty since she’s saltier than the gotdamn Pacific almost all of the time. (Recs: Florence and the Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful, Susanne Sundfør - Delirious, Florence and the Machine - What Kind of Man, Kali Uchis - Dead to Me, Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me)

Fubuki: some of that real classy shit. Slow songs that are nice to just have a cup of tea with. Nothing too meaty or fast-paced, she enjoys taking a moment to breathe every once and a while since life gets pretty hectic when you’re managing a gang of some 30 hooligans. (Recs: Wes - Midnight Low, any song from Lana Del Rey’s entire discography lol, Florence and the Machine - Grace, The Marìas - I Don’t Know You, Yellow House - Ain’t Gonna Call, Feng Suave - Toking, Dozing)

Silverfang: Stuff from his time. I hc that he was a bit of a party animal back in his prime so he’s gotta have those grooves. Disco to the extremo. Also, another hc: Garou absolutely hates his music. He would play it during training and Garou would contemplate homicide. (Recs: Frankie Valli - Grease, The Edgar Winter Group - Free Ride, KC and the Sunshine Band - I’m Your Boogie Man, Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride, The Main Ingredient - Everybody Plays the Fool, Andrea True Connection - More, More, More)

Bomb: save as Silverfang, although I hc that Bomb was a little more of a nerd growing up. Still, he never missed out on a good party. (Additional Recs: KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight, The Trammps - Disco Inferno, Tierra - Together, Cornelius Bros and Sister Rose - Too Late to Turn Back Now)

Atomic Samurai: Old shit. Shit older than Silverfang. He’s really not that old, but his soul is fucking ancient and he’s got that classic “grrr music these days sucks” kind of shithead attitude. (Recs: Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle, Dion - Runaround Sue, The Carpenters - The End of the World, The Band - The Weight)

Child Emperor: Upbeat synth. Stuff to listen to while he’s working on his machines and whatnot. Probably has meaty beats to keep him in tune with what he’s doing, like working around a clock. Probably some groovy citypop in there too. (Recs: Taeko Ohnuki - 4:00 AM, Junko Ohashi - Telephone Number, Tatsuro Yamashita - Magic Ways, Hiroyuki Sawano - NEXUS, Superfly - Kakusei, Mariya Takeuchi - Plastic Love)

Metal Knight: Intrumentals that Disney villains listen to. Deep, dark shit that makes you feel sad. He probably feeds off of negative emotion. What a toolbag. (Recs: Lucas King - Sociopath, Abel Korzeniowski- Table for Two, Max Richter - Never Goodbye, Max Richter - She Remembers, Evelyn Stein - Quiet Resource, Mac Quayle - Adagio in G Minor)

King: video game soundtracks, obviously. Might be some electro funk in there too, as a treat. (Recs: Metal Gear Solid 3 OST - Snake Eater, Mick Gordon - Rip and Tear, Xenoblade Chronicles OST - Main Theme, Persona 5 OST - Last Surprise, Daft Punk - Verdis Quo, Toby Fox - Hopes and Dreams, Disasterpeace - Prologue, iamthekidyouknowwhatimean - Run, Darren Korb - Old Friends)

Zombieman: Dad Music. Old rock that makes you wanna rail some lines of white thunder and dance on top of a car. He’d be reluctant to try out new stuff but does so nevertheless. Just a little bit of weird alternative here and there. (Recs: Poison - Unskinny Bop, Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood, Black Sabbath - War Pigs, Def Leppard - Animal, CRX - Walls, MGMT - Little Dark Age, Pink Floyd - Money, Queens of the Stone Age - Villains of Circumstance)

Drive Knight: Dark synth, obviously. Need I say more? (Recs: El Tigr3 - She Swallowed Burning Coals, Trevor Something - Enjoy the Silence, Greg Drombrowski - Devour, GUNSHIP - Woken Furies, GUNSHIP - Thrasher, Carpenter Brut - Invasion A.D., Kavinsky - Nightcall)

Pig God: this guy probably just listens to ASMR of people eating food lol.

Superalloy Darkshine: Upbeat stuff that’s good for exercise; loving those new jams along with some of the old. He’s got a pretty groovy style. (Diane Ross - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, Saint Motel - Puzzle Pieces, CRUISR - All Over, Barry White - Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up, Sade - Kiss of Life)

Watchdog Man: 10 hour loop of wolves howling on a summer night.

Flashy Flash: classical. Some nice instrumentals to listen to while training. Stuff that preferably doesn’t have any or very little lyrics so it’s not too busy on his ears while he’s fantasizing about killing someone. (Recs: Vaughn Williams - The Lark Ascending, Debussy - Rêverie, Grieg - Peace of the Woods, André Laplante - Une Barque sur L’Ocean)

Metal Bat: Modern alternative. A little bit harder than say, Mumen and Kama, but not as hard as Zombieman or Death Gatling. He’s that middle ground where he’s still got some real bangers, but Zenko can listen as well. He’ll play this stuff loudly as he’s doing chores and working out, no headphones ever. It gets pretty annoying. (Recs: Foals - Exits, The Blue Stones - Black Holes, Solid Ground, CRX - Broken Bones, Jungle - Happy Man, The Strokes - Reptilia, We Are Trees - Girlfriend)

Genos: synth. But not just any synth, some heavy, fast-paced synth that’s just like him: speedy, relentless, and powerful. He listens to shit that’ll make you wanna get up and start killing Terminators. Probably. There’s some other synths in the mix too because we love a three-dimensional king. (Recs: Carpenter Brut - Division Ruine, The Protomen - I Still Believe, Carpenter Brut - Leather Teeth, Gunship - Tech Noir, TWRP - Phantom Racer, Le Castle Vania - Red Circle)

Tanktop Master: Dad music but the type of dad music that makes you think your dad was a sappy nerd back in the day. Long tracks that are good for workouts. (Tears for Fears - Woman in Chains, Pink Floyd - Us and Them, Duran Duran - Ordinary World, Billy Idol - Eyes without a Face, A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran, The Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky, Tears for Fears - Sowing the Seeds of Love)

Puri-Puri Prisoner: Pop. Dance music. He doesn’t really get to listen to a lot of music in prison, so he holds on to whatever he can and savors every second of it. (Coldplay - Talk, Bruno Mars - Runaway Baby, Lady Gaga - Bad Romance, Flo Milli - Beef Flomix, Doja Cat - Say So)

Mumen Rider: Hes a lighthearted, soft boy. Likes some fluffy indie tunes. It helps to motivate him when working out or doing hero stuff. He might need to cry every once in a while though, so there’s some sad songs in the mix too. (Recs: Varsity - The Dogs Only Listen to Him, The The - This is the Day, Amarante - Don’t Look Back, Alvvays - Saved by a Waif, The Monkees - As We Go Along, Acid Ghost - Hide my Face, Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice)

Sonic: same as Flash. He’s a little more hip with the times however, so he’s got some more groovy, electronic instrumentals to listen to in addition to some elegant stuff and isn’t opposed to having a little bit of lyrics sprinkled in there as well. In fact, he’s not opposed to uppity pop either. He thinks dancing is frivolous but he secretly does it when he thinks nobody is looking. (Additional Recs: Odesza - Bloom, Pretty Lights - One Day They’ll Know [Odesza Remix], BØRNS - Electric Love, Hembree - Culture, The Cinematic Orchestra - Arrival of the Birds)

Garou: same as Metal Bat. Bang let him have a little MP3 player during his time at the dojo and has since collected a few songs on there. They’re very near and dear to his heart since it’s one of the few good things that came from his absolute disaster of a childhood. (Additional Recs: Foals - Inhaler, CRX - Slow Down, Deep Sea Arcade - Close to Me, Gorillaz - Empire Ants, The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger, Glass Animals - Take A Slice)

Death Gatling: Shit your old Vietnam-vet grandpa would blast on the back of his F150. He gives me self-righteous asshole vibes, if I’m honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like Death Gatling, but he seems like the type of trailer park-dwelling sewer rat to carry a revolver into a Walmart for “self defense” and that’s probably the type of music he listens to, too. (Recs: Megadeth - Trust, Megadeth - Angry Again, Creedence Clearwater Revival - Fortunate Son, Glen Campbell - Southern Nights, Mötley Crüe - Kickstart My Heart, Quiet Riot - Cum on Feel the Noize)

One-Shotter: I hard hc that he had an emo phase he never quite grew out of. He doesn’t quite listen to emo anymore but he’s still into that alternative shit. Homeboy also likes some slow tunes every once and a while because he’s an emotional dude who’s not afraid of a good cry. (Recs: Anything from Blink-182, Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know?, MGMT - When You Die, Mazzy Star - Fade Into You, Cigarettes After Sex - Dreaming of You, Yon Ort - Other Matter)

Lightning Max: Same as Genos but without the terminator-killing. Fast-paced stuff because he’s a fast lightning dude. A little more upbeat because he’s not as much as an edgelord as Genos, however. (Additional Recs: Carpenter Brut - Hang’em All, The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize, Worn Tin - Sensitivity, B.E.R. - The Night Begins to Shine, Martin Hall - Different Kind of Love)

Stinger: he’s all about that FUNK! Stuff that gets him moving! Stuff that makes him wanna dance! (Recs: Daft Punk - Doin’ it Right, TWRP - Body Image, Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music, Chemise - She Can’t Love You, Saga - Wind Him Up, Saga - On the Loose, TWRP - All Night Forever)

Okamaitachi: they give me electro vibes! New, modern shit that’s good to dance to or to just sit down and have a listen! Also, some shit that’ll probably play in a coming-of-age teen movie or something. They don’t really vibe with heavy music and that’s alright, babey! Keeping it light and bouncy. (Recs: Tei Shi - Bassically, Varsity - Must Be Nice, Class Actress - Weekend, CHVRCHES - Richard Pryor, Alvvays - Marry Me, Archie, Sobs - Telltale Signs, Goth Babe - Sometimes, ALASKALASKA - Meateater)

Iaian: Nice, low tunes that are good for meditation and to be used for background noise during training sessions. He never really sits down to listen to music, it’s always in the background of something else he’s doing so he prefers to have some soft beats that don’t really interfere with his senses. Tunes so quiet, he sometimes uses them as lullabies; especially since the trauma of losing his arm has since made it hard to sleep. (Recs: Boy Scouts - Saddest Boy, Susanne Sundfør - Mantra, Vashiti Bunyan - If I Were the Same but Different, Starman Jr. - Blue Fairy, Patrick Watson - Je te Laisserai des Mots, Sibylle Baier - I Lost Something in the Hills)

Bushidrill: same as Atomic Samurai just without the shitty attitude. He’s happy to listen to some newer stuff, he just doesn’t like it and that’s okay, baby! Probably some classy shit your wise old grandpa would listen to. (Recs: Dean Martin - Volare, Dion - The Wanderer, Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questra Musica Stasera, anything from Luis Miguel lol, Franco Micalizzi - Sadness Theme)

Amai Mask: probably just listens to his own music like a putz. If not, he’s listening to the sound equivalent of glittering diamonds. He’s probably got this shit playing at the end of a long day while he’s chilling in a hot bath or something. (Recs: Fergie - Glamorous, Rita Ora - Hot Right Now, Lana Del Rey - Freak, Lana Del Rey - Art Deco, Tame Impala - Feels Like We Only Go Backwards)

Saitama: He doesn’t listen to music much anymore, sadly. He did, however, have a killer motivational mix to get him through his vigorous training prior to becoming a hero. (Recs: Paul Engemann - Push it to the Limit, Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’, College & Electric Youth - A Real Hero, Joe Esposito - You’re the Best Around, Survivor - Eye of the Tiger, The Bee Gees - Nights on Broadway)

Here’s the playlist with all of these songs in order (mostly):

It’s on YouTube because I’m allergic to Spotify. I’ve got a doctor’s note. Also, all of my other playlists are on my little profile thingy so if you want to listen to my pile then go right ahead.

Thanks for your ask, my dude! ❤️ this took up ALL of my energy lol but it was fun.

[anarcho-mom-unist]

A survey of my ‘spotify wrapped’ from 2020

So, I listen to music between a lot of platforms, I hate how spotify operates as a company (and like in a way that’s pretty comparable to my loathing of the publishing/distribution sides of creative industries,) and I fucking refuse to ever pay for spotify askjdhd

However based on the aggregate of my 100 most-listened-to songs from a year of mostly hitting shuffle on an artist, album, or playlist on mobile, I do have some reflections and highlights. From that I made something of a survey of that list which includes my #1 and #100 song in addition to 1 song from each set of ten, for a total of 12 songs. These represent artists and genres I really got into this year, as well as longtime favorites that are worth talking about:

1. “Bad Trip” - Bad Trip (single) - Xena Elshazlii & Fady Haroun: "Bad Trip” is probably my favorite 2020 release, like if I had to pick one. The track has incredible energy, from the soft piano and vocalization intro to the verse with it’s sparse drums, subtle bass line, and slight strings to an absolute banger of a chorus with punchy staccato synths, reinforcement of the drum groove, and addition of an electric guitar. Elshazlii & Haroun pack a lot into 2-and-a-half minutes of music, and the variations in texture, mix, & music in each iteration of the song’s discrete sections are *chef’s kiss* ---verse 1 and chorus 1 are not identical to verse 2 and chorus 2, to say nothing of the short instrumental transition b/n the first chorus and second verse. Whenever I listen to “Bad Trip” I’m compelled to hit ‘repeat’ ---which is not a normal occurrence for me---and experience the builds and releases that this track brings once again. I don’t know much Arabic beyond the slang terms and exclamations that peppered my grandparents’ & parents’ speech when they spoke to each other in Armenian, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell y’all that “Bad Trip” is among the songs that make me want to learn the language so I can better sing along w/ them.

3. “City Lights” - Sailorwave II - Macross 82-99 ft. Kamei:  "City Lights” is the opener to Macross 82-99′s 2018 EP Sailorwave II, and it does that job immaculately. While I recommend the entire EP and an exploration of the Future Funk genre as a whole, you can’t go wrong with getting a taste of either through “City Lights.” The track bursts to life w/ synth brass chords and fast drums, quickly finding its way into punchy up-tempo horn line w/ light rhythm guitar and an active & bouncy bass line joining the mix. “City Lights” more or less goes from A to B to C and after the instrumental opening, the track shifts to a more under-voice horn line offering a countermelody to a mid-to-low register vocal line which is soon after joined by high voices punctuating the beginning of each phrase. The horns, guitars, and singers are cut from the track as the song enters its final section, a rap verse from featured artist Kamei accompanied with a slower-moving bass and light synth chords & wash in the middle register. Taken all together, “City Lights” ---like “Bad Trip” before it---packs a lot of music into a short duration & leaves me wanting more, which I especially long for when listening to the track outside of the context of the EP (which is what I usually do.)

12. “Turn to Hate” - Pony - Orville Peck: There’s a lot I could have done better in 2019, and “check out Orville Peck” is pretty high up there. “Turn to Hate” is a song that is at once heartrending, sincere, & catchy as all get out. Peck does one of my favorite possible things a musician can do on this track, and that’s make me Feel Things at a quick tempo. The vulnerable lyrics sung in outlaw country bass are supported by a fairly simple chord progression that acts as a solid foundation for a lot of texture ---moving guitar lines in the accompaniment part and middle-ground lines that move in and out of the melodic foreground. My moment of pure delight on the track is Peck’s laconic “yeehaw” that leads into a guitar solo that does so much work w/ its relative simplicity. “Turn to Hate” is an excellent song to get you into Orville Peck’s music if you aren’t already, if any of this piques your interest then I strongly recommend exploring his output of classic country meets 2010s indie meets camp gay sensibilities meets emotional realness. (This is as good a place as any to advise you to check out Yola and her album Walk Through Fire.)

27. “Water No Get Enemy” - Expensive Shit - Fela Kuti & Africa 70: I’m a newcomer to Afrobeat which is a fuckin’ shame because it contains a lot of the things I love most in music: rhythmic density and variety, jazz and “folk” idioms working together, a sense joy in the music-making with righteous anger at injustice in the music’s purpose, and a kick-ass horn section. "Water No Get Enemy” by Fela Kuti & Africa 70 is as good an intro as any to Afrobeat as it’s a delightful & excellent piece of music by the genre’s pioneer. It’s worth mentioning that in addition to its musical quality, Afrobeat is also deeply connected with Pan-Africanism and the resistance to the presence of European colonizers in Sub-Saharan Africa. To be frank, whatever I write can’t really do justice to this song or the musical movement from which it comes, go listen to it... a jam you can dance to while hating the British!? Immaculate. 

31. “Vardavar” - EP No. 1 - Tigran Hamasyan: The first of two songs from Armenian Jazz-fusion pianist/keyboardist and composer, Tigran Hamasyan, is a fast moving rhythmically dense piece of music named after the Armenian holiday of the same name ---Vardavar is a holiday of pre-Christian origin that Armenians celebrate in July in observance of the transfiguration of Christ, it involves throwing buckets of water on each other! Appropriate to its namesake, the running piano line through much of the track and the melodic lines are both exceptionally fluid and reminiscent of water. The rhythm of the tune follows a highly irregular subdivision of the bar that it’s best to feel along w/ as a listener ---seriously, unless you’re transcribing the tune or practicing/rehearsing it, don’t worry about counting---and get lost in with the flow of the music. Notable features of the track are the dense layering of instrumental/vocal lines on the melodic and countermelodic material, breakdowns & entire sections where the music takes to longer notes, “slower” feel & division of the bar, and a slower harmonic rhythm, unexpected unisons b/n instruments, and the transformation of Armenian folk melodies & texts between vocalized material and statements of the original material. There is no living musician whose work I love more than Tigran’s and if you’re not familiar with it “Vardavar” is an excellent place to start.

46. “Boyish” - Tropical Jinx - Little Big League:  "Boyish” is better known as one of the singles from Japanese Breakfast’s sophomore album Soft Sounds from Another Planet where Michelle Zauner presents the tune at a slow tempo with an unassuming instrumental accompaniment, wash of synths in the chorus, and low-register closing guitar solo which leaves the audience with a sense of melancholy & vulnerability. The original version from the 2014 LP of Zauner’s former band, Little Big League, offers a different take on the text: noisy guitars, driving rhythm, aggressive drumming on a rock groove, and a vocal delivery offering more of the rage of heartbreak than its sadness. Zauner refers to “Boyish” as an ‘ugly girl anthem’ and that intention is very apparent on this version of the track ---whereas the Japanese Breakfast take on it gave me a sense of being in the gender hinterlands b/n acceptable presentations of masculine and feminine. Both versions of the song are really worth seeking out for different reasons, and I chose to highlight Little Big League on this list because they’re a solid guitar-driven emo band that deserves appreciation in its own right.

50. “Dreaming” - Eat to the Beat - Blondie: What do I need to say about Blondie!? A CBGB act from the late-70′s that straddled the worlds of Punk and New Wave at their peak with a mix of an exceptional rhythm section (that bass!) diverse and compelling guitar work, and the captivating and ever-iconic vocals and presence of Debbie Harry. “Dreaming” might be my favorite song from Blondie and has had a special place in my heart since I first listened to them with my mom. It’s one of those songs that I’m tempted to call a perfect pop song: a joyful performance, lyrics that are at once simple and relatable ---whom amongst is unfamiliar with longing!?---music full of hooks & containing the kind of energy that just goes and takes you with it!

65. “Holy” - Shadow Theater - Tigran Hamasyan: The second entry from Tigran Hamasyan comes from his 2013 album Shadow Theater ---an excellent work as a whole---and is one of the slower, more spacious, and simpler tracks from it. “Holy” is a setting of the Armenian liturgical piece “Soorp Soorp” which is frequently used in the celebration of the Eucharist (even in the Armenian Protestant church I grew up in) and it’s achingly beautiful. There’s always something to be said about a musician capable of complex and virtuosic feats on their instrument doing something very simply and very well, and that’s what the entire ensemble brings ---including frequent collaborator Areni Agbabian who provides the vocals. Even as the texture thickens in the middle of the song, the middle ground & harmonic support coming from strings and bassoon (Ben Wendel) is simple, under-voice, and reverent. “Holy” is the kind of piece of music that offers an encounter with God ---even if one would never otherwise believe in something beyond the material; even just for a moment.

77. “The Day the World Turn Day-Glo” - Germ Free Adolescents - X-Ray Spex: X-Ray Spex is one of those bands I’ve listened to before on a recommendation I received ages ago but never really followed up on beyond the one song sent my way. “...Day-Glo” is a fuckin’ banger of song that just bursts with this wonderful energy from the jump & showcases the best qualities of X-Ray Spex’s sound: driving guitars, wild saxophone lines, and chaotically charismatic lead vocals from singer Poly Styrene. X-Ray Spex have an output that is wild and fun as hell to explore, and “...Day-Glo” is an excellent place to start ---you’d also do well to check out their more notable song “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!” 

84. “Marquee Moon” - Marquee Moon - Television: Listen, you don’t need to read some internet lesbian with a music degree go off about Television ---one of the most musically interesting acts to come out of CBGB and one of many definitive proofs that Punk is not a label that people should fucking fight about having a true definition of. Clear 11 minutes in your day, find a pair of headphones so you can experience the use of stereo in the recording and enjoy each element of the song, especially with regards to Tom Verlaine and Richard Lloyd’s interlocking guitar lines.

96. “Leylum” - Kokorec - Collectif Medz Bazaar & Sevana Tchak: Armenian folk music, baby!! Collectif Medz Bazaar offer a lively and joyful rendition of the classic folk song “Leylum” which has been burned in my mind from church and community gatherings ---the fun ones with music and all of your aunties dancing in a circle and such. Listen to this song and DM me if you aren’t dancing along of joining in on the response parts as best you can. I think this particular recording offers a nice entry point into an exploration of Armenian music, the instrumentation hits a lot of the staples of Armenian folk ensembles ---duduks, dohl, dumbek, clarinet, shvi, etc.---and the song itself is an up tempo dance tune which I find to be easier to start with than ballads or liturgical music.

100. “Electrastar” - Paradize - Indochine: Back in the hazy past of 2017, one of my friends from undergrad and I were hanging out and playing music for each other. In a departure from his usual library of French Baroque music, he played a song by French New Wave band, Indochine. That song was “Electrastar” which is a consistent favorite of mine, my favorite song from its album ---Paradize, which is already a solid record---and a great entry point into the musical output of a band which has been active for about 40 years. "Electrastar” features driving rhythm guitar, pulsing synth under the texture, eminently catchy chorus and post-chorus, and a very care-full and effective approach to the mix. Also, not for nothing but that album cover is 👀

Survey of 2020 Listening

[clumsyclifford]

Hoooooow about Oh, Calamity for Mashton (or Muke if you got tired of the Mashton content) for the prompts?? Am I doing this right? 😅

ana you did it perfectly here it is sorry not sorry this is really emo that’s what you get for giving me “it’s such a shame that we play strangers” so really this is your fault

-

Michael sees Ashton for the first time in two years at an after-party, of all places.

It's for an awards show, the Grammys, Michael is pretty sure, but he's not here to be awarded, only to give one out. Michael doesn't know what compelled the Grammys to ask 5 Seconds of Summer to deliver one of the awards, especially since they haven't made a new album in three years, but now it's the after-party and Michael doesn't care. There's free booze, and that's all he needs to know.

He's just pulling away from a conversation with Taylor Swift, during which she'd complimented his new hair color and offered to set him up on a date in successive breaths, to which Michael had replied thanks, but no thanks, he's not really looking to date right now, but he'll keep her in mind if he ever decides to pick it up. Taylor had just smiled at him. 

The party is loud; all parties are, which is why Michael tends to steer clear of them. He probably picked the wrong profession, being this sensitive to loud noise, but whatever. At least onstage he feels he has a purpose; onstage, people cheer for him, and he feels important. Here, he just feels like he could be squashed underfoot and nobody would even realize.

It's as he's turning away from Taylor, in search of more alcohol (like that's what he needs), that he spies a familiar head across the room. Familiar in a gut-wrenching way; familiar but also very much not. Familiar in a way that makes Michael want to throw up.

He pulls out his phone, unsure of what his plan is. Maybe he'll text Calum and Luke to warn them. Maybe he'll just call an Uber, pull a dine and dash on this party. He hadn't known Ashton would be here. He wouldn't have come if he had.

But before Michael can decide what he's meant to be doing on his phone, Ashton's turning around. Michael meets his eyes accidentally, and is somewhat disappointed by the fact that Ashton doesn't look surprised.

(Okay, so Michael had literally been onstage during the show, but still. He wishes that Ashton would flinch, like Michael is now.)

Then, to Michael's great dismay, Ashton starts walking towards him. Michael flickers his glance to the person he'd been in conversation with; it's Halsey — Ashley — and she's trailing behind him.

Well, fuck. Michael can't very well ditch with Ashley right there. She'd immediately know something was up, and Michael has done his level best trying to pretend like nothing is up, and like this is fine, and like he doesn't care that Ashton left the band.

(What the fuck is Ashton even doing here? He's not supposed to be in the music industry anymore. That was the whole point.)

Michael stays rooted to the spot until Ashton is within arm's reach. 

"Michael," Ashton says. "I wondered if you'd be here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Michael asks, trying not to sound terse.

Ashton looks a little hurt anyway. "Nothing, I just…nothing."

"Hey, Michael," Ashley greets him. Michael gives her a cursory nod, which might be rude, but he doesn't care. His heart is off-tempo, and he's under imminent threat of having a heart attack, and Ashton's still standing there, closer than he's been in two years but still not close enough.

"I'm surprised you're here," Michael adds, to Ashton. Ashton inclines his head.

"Yeah, ah, Ashley invited me," he says. 

Of fucking course she did. Michael wonders if there's something going on between them. Then he hates himself for wondering. Then, because he's drunk, he asks, "As a date?"

"As moral support," Ashley says, arching an eyebrow, which unfortunately does not answer Michael's question. "My boyfriend couldn't come."

Michael wants to shout, so you chose Ashton? Except that does answer his question, subtly, and Michael is pretty sure she knows exactly what she's doing, so he lets it go. Ashley's too clever for anyone's good, and Michael's really drunk.

"I'm gonna go get another drink," Ashley says. "Either of you want anything?"

Literally all of the alcohol in this room, Michael thinks, but they both shake their heads, so Ashley gives them respective nods and then disappears into the throng of people.

Michael looks at Ashton, overwhelmed by the space between them, and waits. After everything Ashton did, he thinks Ashton has earned the privilege of starting any conversation he intends to carry with Michael. 

Ashton does, clearing his throat. "So, uh. What are you up to these days?" 

He doesn’t say I haven’t seen any new 5SOS music lately, but he might as well. 5SOS isn’t officially on hiatus, although they probably should be. That would be better marketing than “Sorry, we just don’t really know how to find our sound again without our drummer doubling as the heart of the band, and we’ve written hundreds of songs but releasing any of them without Ashton would feel like betrayal.” The band hasn’t had that conversation yet, but Michael knows it’s what they’re all thinking. Nobody wants to be the one to say it, least of all Michael. He knows that Calum and Luke look at him differently now, that they know that he’s taking Ashton’s leaving harder than he should be. 

It’s been two years, but standing in front of Ashton it feels like it’s been two weeks, and the bleeding starts anew. Michael’s weak, exposed and vulnerable, prepped and ready for Ashton to sink his claws back into. He hates it. He hates Ashton.

“Nothing much,” is what Michael comes out with. “Just — taking a little break to work on music, and ourselves.” A break you could have been a part of. A break that might have helped you heal. A break that might’ve meant you wouldn’t leave the fucking band.

Ashton makes a jerky motion that might be a nod. “That sounds nice.”

“It is,” Michael says, although it isn’t. “Uh. What about you? What are you up to?”

God, this sucks. This whole conversation sucks. This party sucks. Michael hates that he's standing here, three feet from a man who used to be his best friend, or — his something, something meaningful, and they're playing strangers. No, actually, worse; they are strangers. Michael doesn't even follow Ashton on Instagram anymore. He can't bear to.

(Or maybe he doesn't want to know — if Ashton's happy or sad, if he's found his new purpose in life, if he has a new girlfriend or boyfriend or best friend. There's a very specific brand of hurt that comes from watching someone you loved with your whole heart love someone else.)

Ashton rolls his shoulders, shrugging. "Honestly, a lot of different things. I do a lot of yoga. And I've been working on my cooking skills. I'm thinking about — I don't know." He presses his lips together and shrugs again, more halfheartedly. "I don't know."

"Well," Michael says. "Sounds like you're being very productive with all your new free time."

Ashton's face tightens, and Michael recognizes the simmering flame in his eyes. "Michael, don't," he says. 

“Don’t what?”

"I thought we could be civil. It’s been two years."

"I'm civil," Michael says. "I'm not the one who left."

"It's not that simple and you fucking know it," Ashton says angrily. "And I'm not the one who completely cut ties with you."

"What, like I was supposed to keep in touch and update you on the tour life you'd deliberately left behind? Excuse me for thinking you wouldn't be too keen on that."

“You thought I wouldn’t want to stay in touch with my best friends? The people I considered family, really?”

“Good to know you’d leave your family.”

"Jesus, grow up, Michael," Ashton snaps. "Just admit you were immature about it."

Michael fumes. "That's really fucking rich coming from you. You're the one who cut loose the minute it got serious with us!"

There’s a moment of silence, and Michael regrets saying anything. Ashton stares.

"You're not the reason I left," he says, and all of a sudden the fire is gone from his voice. He blinks. "Is that what you really think? Michael, you're the reason I almost stayed."

"Almost," Michael repeats. His chest aches. His heart hurts. "But you didn't stay."

"You would have preferred for me to keep pretending to love a job I had begun to hate? To keep touring when it was physically hurting me? To press on and ignore my own mental health? Really?"

Michael stares at him. "No," he says. "Obviously not." He knows why Ashton left, and he knows that being angry about it makes him an asshole.

(Sometimes he thinks he's like a wounded animal, and he keeps lashing out, keeping the injury fresh on purpose. It would be worse, he's sure, to let it heal, to forget the way he loved so hard, and hurt so bad.)

“We could have talked about it,” Michael says sullenly. “You could have told us something was wrong before you decided to leave. You could have fucking warned us.” 

"Look, Michael, I know I hurt you," Ashton says. Michael hates him, the way he sounds so sincerely apologetic. "I wish leaving the band didn't have to mean leaving you."

"It didn't," Michael says. Too late, he realizes it sounds like he's arguing that they can still fix it, when Michael is pretty sure they can't, and regardless he doesn't want Ashton thinking that that's what Michael's after. It's not. It's not.

(Is it?)

"Yes it did," Ashton says. "But I'm still sorry. For hurting you. It's the worst thing I've ever done. I don't think I can ever fix it, but — I never really got to tell you that I'm sorry. So." He spreads his arms. "I'm sorry."

Ashton can't fix it, Michael wants to say. He wants to say fuck you, you arrogant bastard. He wants to go back in time five minutes and call that Uber. There's fire under his fingertips, but he's looking at Ashton and he doesn't know if the fire is fury or desire.

"I've missed you," Ashton adds nervously.

"Don't tell me that," Michael says. "Don’t — you can't miss me. You left."

Ashton looks so profoundly sad at that. "Okay," he says. "I won't tell you."

Michael wishes he hadn’t spoken at all. Every single part of him is in pain. He thinks he's going to wake up with sore arm muscles from all the effort he's putting into keeping his arms by his sides. He wants to believe he'd deck Ashton right there, but it's just as likely he'd grab Ashton's hand and never let go.

"This is hard for me," he admits, curt. "I don't know what to say. You just apologized, so I can't very well be an asshole anymore."

Ashton huffs a nervous laugh. "I know," he says. "I don't know either.” He hesitates. “I like your new hair color. It suits you."

Michael wants to ban Ashton from complimenting him, but he's just banned Ashton from saying he's missed him, and if Michael carries on like this Ashton won't be able to talk before long, and the conversation will end.

(Isn't that what you wanted? Michael's subconscious points out.)

"Thanks," is what Michael says. Then, more idiotically, "I miss you, you know."

"Miss me, present tense?" Ashton asks.

Michael nods once. "I've missed you since you left. I still miss you. I don't even know you."

"I thought that was what you wanted," Ashton says, voice small in the large, loud room.

"It was. But also wasn't. I don't fucking know, Ashton." He throws his hands up, desperate for anyone to try and put his sentences together for him so he doesn't have to. It's late and he's drunk and it's Ashton and Michael has always been awful at expressing himself. He pulls a hand through his hair. "I just don't like that I don't know you. I used to love you and now I don't know you. It sucks, okay? I don't expect you to fucking understand."

"I understand," Ashton says. Michael stares at him. "Kind of."

"What do you mean, kind of?"

"I love you," Ashton says, calmly, like he's not dropping a fucking bombshell at Michael's feet. "Present tense. And it sucks that I don't know you. Anymore."

"You — fuck you." Michael squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. When he opens them back up, those hazel eyes are still just in front of him, matter-of-fact. "You can't fucking love me without knowing me."

"Yeah, you'd think, wouldn't you." Ashton gives a mirthless laugh.

Michael opens his mouth to argue. Then he closes it, because he has no argument. For all the shit he talks, he knows too well what Ashton means. He doesn't really know Ashton, either, and has done a bang-up job pushing down his feelings the last two years, but Ashton's here now and Michael's in love with him, strangers though they are. Michael is in love with Ashton now and forever. He never really stopped.

"Well, why don't you get to know me, then?" he says hesitantly. Ashton blinks. 

"What?"

Michael holds out a hand. "I'm Michael Clifford. I'm in a band called 5 Seconds of Summer. I like playing video games and guitar, in that order. You are?"

Ashton blinks again. Michael might be hallucinating — he's had a lot to drink tonight — but Ashton's eyes look glassy, almost…teary. Michael shakes away the thought as Ashton slowly reaches to shake his hand. "I'm Ashton Irwin," he says. "I used to be in a band, but now I'm a session drummer and I spend a lot of time cooking and cleaning. Nice to meet you. Again."

"You sound like a nice guy, Ashton," Michael says. It's been too long to keep holding Ashton's hand, but Michael doesn't want to let go. "I'd like to get to know you better."

Ashton flexes his fingers and his hand falls out of Michael's grasp. "I'd like that," he says. "Do you want to get out of here? I know you don't like parties."

Michael finally realizes what Ashton had meant by I wondered if you'd be here. He tries to bite back his smile, because he still feels the looming sense of danger, but fails. Ashton disarms him, always has.

"Okay," he says. "Sure. I think there's a twenty-four-hour pizza place near here."

Ashton smiles. "Wouldn't expect anything less."

Ashton texts Ashley that he's leaving while Michael calls an Uber, and then they make their way to the exit, and Michael feels like his head and his heart are in temporary harmony. Maybe he'll regret this when he's sober, but probably not. It's Ashton. It's Ashton. This could be a new beginning, and Michael feels lucky to have even had a first beginning.

Against his better judgement, Michael reaches for Ashton's hand in the backseat of the Uber, and Ashton just laces their fingers together and doesn't let go.

(Michael loves him, present tense. And he's pretty sure Ashton knows. It should scare him, because Ashton's hurt him once before for being so vulnerable, but he can't help but fall again and again, every time.)

[soundofseventeen]

When I Grow Up 1.5 (Lee Seokmin)

I am both in my soft emo hours and unsure when I’ll post again, so here it is! If you haven’t read the first part yet, that’s totally fine, but it ties together with this one hence why it’s short! 

Word count: 2366

You tapped your fingers against the table nervously. Seokmin wouldn’t just stand you up, especially when he was the one who placed the reservation and because it was his idea to meet up with you. Is this what you got for readily agreeing to meet the boy? The waiter had been fairly kind to you, letting you know everything was okay and that this happened often...the boys running late that is. But they always showed up. He poured you a glass of wine while you waited and the sweet taste calmed your nerves a little. You also ate some of the breadsticks so the alcohol wouldn’t affect you. He hadn’t texted you or given you any other indication that he was on his way over.

But before you could leave, he came running to your table, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry,” he panted. “I was getting ready to come over….when Soonyoung hyung called….me about working on one...of my dance routines and time flew by. I left mid practice.” He reaches into his flannel and pulled out a rumpled yellow daisy....a couple stray petals falling. “I picked this….for you before….I came in.”

Seokmin’s thoughtfulness hadn’t gone away, you noted. You accepted it graciously and he finally sat down. “Thank you for waiting,” he said when he could breathe. “I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if you weren’t here.”

“The thought crossed my mind,” you admitted. “The waiter was quick to get me to stay.”

“Yeah?” He seemed surprised. “I mean we’ve lost our reservations a couple of times with how late we were but this, this is the best restaurant in town.”

You twirled the wine glass between your fingertips, believing him. “I can drink to that.” He didn’t have to know that was more expensive than everything in your house put together...including your slowly growing kpop collection. 

“Great.” He removed the flannel leaving him in a plain white shirt, and you had to remind yourself to breathe. He was your friend, someone you used to watch, someone who grew up in front of your eyes. “So tell me, Y/N, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you.”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the way he still addressed you so casually, especially with that smile he wore. “Well, I finally moved out of Yongin.” Obviously. Why else would you be there? 

“What do you do now?” He thanked the waiter for his glass of wine and he smiled at you both, letting you know he’d be back to take your order.

“I'm studying psychology but right now I work at a gardening store.” You realized how much your dreams had changed now that you thought about it. You remembered telling him how you wanted to be a teacher and own your own public library.

“That’s cool,” he nodded, and you briefly wondered if he thought the same thing you did. “And how are your friends?”

“I hope they’re good. I haven’t seen them in a couple weeks. Life has been hectic...today was my first free day in awhile, and well I met you. How about you Seok? Now is the idol life treating you?” If you kept him talking, it’d be easier not to let your attraction for him get in the way. 

“It’s been so fun!” He replied happily. “I didn’t think I could ever be friends with so many people! And Carats really love us! It seems like a distant dream that I thought I couldn’t do something like this.” The wistful expression lingered for a moment and then his usual smile returned. “We go on tour a lot and we practice nonstop! Woozi hyung really knows how to put a song together and give us lines so it comes out perfect!”

“You’re living the dream,” you mused, raising your wine glass and taking a sip. “I’m very happy for you. You have a gift and you used it wisely.”

Seokmin requested another bottle of wine once the waiter wrote your orders down along with more appetizers as you caught up on the insignificant parts of your daily lives like how you completed your shopping for the week and how he chose to take a day from the gym because he didn’t seem to have as much time for more days. You didn’t know if the warmth was from the room or the way the alcohol coursed through your system but the constant blush on your cheeks from giving and receiving compliments felt nice, natural even. He kept you laughing as if you hadn’t been separated for years as he reminisced the details you thought he had forgotten, mostly because you did. 

You thought you had been there a couple of hours but when the waiter abashedly told you it was almost midnight and they had to close soon, you were brought back to a sad reality where you and Seokmin would go your separate ways and tomorrow you’d go back to your normal life and he’d be an idol again and who knew when you’d cross paths again, assuming you were that lucky, that is. 

“Gosh, has it really been that long?” He asked, handing the waiter his credit card to process their payment. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to go just yet.”

There was the Seokmin you knew. He enjoyed people’s presence and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. But you knew that if you didn’t end it here, it’d hurt more when actually said goodbye. You didn’t know why, but you wanted to spend more time with him, tomorrow if he had the chance or whenever the weekend called for it. You missed him a lot and finally felt like you had gotten the friend you always wished him to be. But still, you could feel the tug in your heart at rejecting his request.

“Actually Seokmin, I should probably get going. I have to work tomorrow and-”

“No worries. Can I at least take you home? I don’t want your boyfriend thinking that I left you by yourself.” He finally stood up and stretched, letting his bones crack in the process. “How is he anyway?”

“Good, he’s good.” At least according to his Facebook posts whenever you logged on. He got married and started a family, moving somewhere to Jeju City. You did remain amicable, even commenting how he and his husband looked adorable on their wedding day and he congratulated you when you moved into your own place...all via social media of course. “But we broke up before I moved to Gangnam. His family keeps him on his toes.”

“So you’re not seeing anyone?” He yelled goodnight to the host as he held the door open for you, and you just wanted to believe how hopeful he sounded.

“Not right now. I mean, I want to get back into it once my life gets a bit more stable, but right now, I’m content just doing whatever I like. That was something my last boyfriend told me before he pursued his coffee job dream in Japan. How about you?”

“Ohh, uh you know how it is. Dating is a little difficult when someone’s watching your every move.”

“Right, right. I read about how you got outed. I’m sorry.” You felt embarrassed for even asking now. One of the gossip magazines broke the news sometime during one of your midterms and the only reason you found out was because you heard someone screaming about it. (How you didn’t know you went to school with multiple Carats you didn’t know but then again, you didn’t exactly wear too much of their merch. It felt embarrassing in a way.) 

“I mean, it’s over now, but I have to be careful about everything now.” He hailed a taxi and let you slide in first. “What’s your address so you can go home first?”

You gave it and then rode the way in silence, an unusual thing for DK. Every time you glanced over at him, he seemed to be lost in thought, the only light coming from his phone. You wanted to say something, anything before you never saw him again...unless he went on tour again. But you couldn’t with the butterflies making their way to your throat. You weren’t sure why you nervous but you knew you wanted to hold his hand. 

The years had been very good to him in the time you been apart. You were staring but you couldn’t help it; the jawline cutting your something inside you, his moles being your favorite feature of his. You reached up to touch one, but when he turned, you chickened out and patted his head instead, loving the way his hair felt between your fingertips. It had always been his favorite method of comfort and your go-to whenever you didn’t know what else to do.  

You saw when his eyes closed and he let out a hum of approval. “This feels good,” he said softly.

“Sorry, it’s a habit,” you apologized.

“I like it. It means you’re still comfortable with me.”

“You’re still Seokmin...you’re just famous.” Telling him that he was still somehow 10 years old to you didn’t feel right, and you knew it would’ve ruined the mood. “You’ve grown up well.”

“Have I made you proud yet?”

“Seokmin, you have no idea how proud I have been of you.” 

“When I felt like nothing, I thought of you. You always helped me.” 

There was that warmth that was at the restaurant. Did it follow you here or has it been there a while? You couldn’t be sure, but you liked the warm, tingly feeling. You wondered if he was feeling the same way you were right now. You sighed deeply through your nostrils when the cab stopped in front of your house. “Thank you, Seok. I hope we can keep bumping into you in the future, even if it’s just a few minutes.”

“Yeah, sure no problem. It was good to see you again.”

“You too.” You wondered if he’d give you any other sign he wanted to keep in touch with you, but he didn’t move so you finally got off, feeling somewhat disappointed. So you swallowed your pride. “Do you wanna come inside?”

He shook his head and you could feel the rejection taking it more personally than you should’ve. “You should probably go to sleep. You have to work and I do too. I’ll call you next time I’m free. How does that sound?”

You nodded, trying to ignore the stinging. Rationality was new. He normally would’ve jumped at the chance to spend more time with you, but that was years ago. He was grown up now, still a little naive but a good person nonetheless. He waved at you until you went inside and you let out another sigh. This time, missing him felt different. It was like an ache in your heart that you knew wouldn’t go away until you saw him again. And who knew when that would be again.

The knock on your door made you jump, and you weren’t sure why you were surprised when you saw Seokmin standing there.

He took your hands in his, not quite sure what to say. “Do you have a minute?”

You nodded, still being unable to speak. You just knew that you liked it. 

“I missed you every day that I was away, and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I know that if I went back home, even just to visit, I wouldn’t have found you there. I know that I’m still like a child, but I promise I have grown up. I’m not the kid you used to know.”

“I know,”  you finally said. “I’ve known that for a long time.” He wasn’t the child who cried whenever you killed a fly anymore or the one who hid behind you whenever he was scared. He was now considered a man, one who was big and strong but still carried a fragile heart, and that made you so happy. All the vlives, the interviews, the persona he portrayed in front of people wasn’t so much of a stretch of the person you knew. You could even tell in the way he held your hands; he squeezed them, not enough to hurt you but to get your attention. “You have grown up.”

“Y/N, do you still see me like a kid?”

You shook your head, wondering when that changed. You met him when you were barely a preteen and he was still using a nightlight to keep the monsters away. How did he suddenly become someone who didn’t need so much looking after? He was just a kid at some point to you. When did he become someone you were interested in? “I...it’s been awhile since I have.”

He squeezed your hands again. “You don’t know how long I waited to hear you say that. Y/N, please, can I have a chance? It doesn’t have to be now, but whenever you’re ready?”

You nodded. “Seokmin, if you asked me right now, I wouldn’t say no.” You understood now that you wanted him to say this or something like it. “I’m scared though,” you found yourself whispering. 

He hesitantly brought one of your hands to his lips, kissing the skin softly. “Why?”

“What if this is a dream? What if we mess this up? Seokmin, what if we rushed into this?” You tried not to listen to your heart disagreeing with you because maybe for once, it was right.

“Then tell me to take a step back and we’ll take it from there.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Only that you’ll slip away again.”

“Seokmin-”

He tilted your chin slowly, gazing at you until he could cup your cheek. He finally pressed his lips to yours, kissing you softly. “When we grow up, I hope you can see that we can do this right. Things, I think, will change. Just don’t you dare let loose of my hands.”