#also all of you are valid and i love and respect all of your gavin interpretations

[turnaboutyandere]

Ace attorney characters when you pack a bento box (boxed lunch) for them:

(In japan that's a indirect expression of love and in this case a confession)

Phoenix gets it right away. He smiles and blushes. And as he kisses y/n for the first time realizes he might not need to chase rivals away. Out of all of them hes probably the softest receiving a bento box. He jumps straight to calling you his girlfriend. Phoenix thinks about it all day and when he opens it come lunchtime and finds a little love note above his rice he tears up.

(Also if you make two, one for him and one for trucy he will melt)

Miles DOESNT get it right away. He doesnt understand why, when he has so much money, y/n would feel the need to pack him a lunch. He doesnt understand why his confusion causes y/n such a blush for a good five minutes. By the time he remembers the cultural significance they already left. He texts them something between sweet and formal. At noon (though I think he does have a tendency to skip lunch to work) he opens it and finds a little love note. He feels a lot of things at once and just like him ends up very smug

Franziska is silent for a second. It's not that she understands the implications, it completely flies over her head. No shes quiet cause she believes she should be taking care of you and not vice versa. Then she tells y/n to set it on the table, and is very confused when they leave the room practically skipping. It isn't until shes having lunch and her brother and gumshoe walk into the room to give her paperwork does she understand. Her brother asks her were she got it (idk if she's a good cook or would bother learning Japanese cooking) and when she relays your confounding behavior miles has the nerve to laugh. Then gumshoe surprisingly explains it to her. She turns pink and carefully opens it. Sure enough theres a love note in a sealed bag to keep it clean. That evening she buys a locket.

You have to know Diego for a very long time before he let's you cook for him. And he will never again accept open drinks from anyone. So y/n ever the sweetie invites him over in the early morning and hopes it doesnt irritate him. ( it doesnt cause hes already normally there). When he shows up y/n invites him in and leads him to the kitchen and they cook together so he can see whats in everything. He doesnt admit it but it makes him feel like they're married. It's when she hands him not his lunch but a bottled coffee still sealed does he go from crushing to love. Though he didnt like the extra sugar and milk in Japanese bottled coffee, they validated his trauma and therefore is not getting rid of him now.

Dahlia is an odd case. She pretends to not understand. She laughs her laugh like silver bells and thanks them as sweet as she can but I dont think she actually eats it. She worries shes been found out. That your trying to poison her. I can see her being better safe than sorry. Still she opens it to take a picture to post on her social media and sees the love note. She reads it once then again. And smiles sly. Her plan was working

Iris on the other hand completely understands and let's you know she knows. She asks if their seriously ok with dating someone already under oaths and vows. If thier ok respecting such boundaries. When y/n nods she begins to cry. At lunch time when she opens it she begins to cry again for two reasons

1) it's made specifically with her eating restrictions in mind. Y/n did their research

And

2) the love note. Oh goodness the love note. Never before has such a small paper made a girl so happy.

Wocky feels guilty that you pulled the bento thing first. His parents are Japanese and run a cafe and he couldn't make you a bento. When he voices his concerns and they take it as him accepting the confession and kiss him he feels a little better. He normally eats what his parents make for lunch but today. Is different. When he finds the love note he cries. He feels safe with s/o for the first time. Alita never wrote love notes or cooked lunches.

Mia the sweet women she is, flushed but tries to stay somewhat level headed, somewhat her normal level of cool. She sets it on her desk and takes y/n into her arms. She doesn't ask if they mean it cause shes scared they dont. That...it would destroy her, so she doesnt give them a chance. She would return the favor the next day but imagine be honest. I dont think she can cook either. She keeps the love note with everything else that reminds her if y/n. In a jewelry box under a floorboard.

Klavier doesnt understand it.... Much like franziska, he has no clue. But In a way he does? He knows this is something y/n put time and effort and money into, all for him. So he accepts it, calling y/n beautiful in the process. He doesnt get the fact that it was a confession...at first. Then he Googles what it means and sure enough it was a confession. And hes relieved cause he had accepted it and complimented them. He had agreed to their confession.

(before anyone says it, yes, I know Kristoph isn’t actually German, but I don’t care. Capcom can rip my “the Gavins are German” headcanon from my cold, dead hands)

Aight, so, ya girl is back. I’m gonna keep the ask box closed for a bit until I clear out all the asks I have (and finish a request) so please be patient. Thank you!

Damon: Doesn’t get it right away, but thinks it’s sweet that you made him lunch. He may google it later assuming he knows how to use google or ask someone about it, which is how he finds out the meaning behind it. Rather than make you a bento box in return, he’ll get you a bouquet of roses and invite you to join him for dinner instead. Between the roses, though, you’ll find a cute little love note with a smiley face scribbled onto it.

Shelly: He’s been around the block a few times, so he likely knows what it means. He’ll thank you and give you a peck on the cheek, promising to make you lunch as well. Once he finishes eating, he’ll put the note somewhere safe so he can reread it whenever he wants.

Matt: Has a security guard try it before he does, for safety reasons. Once he sees how upset you are by that, he’ll apologize and ask you to explain the meaning behind it (he knows he fucked up lmao). After you explain it, he’ll apologize (while being so fucking smug internally) and thank you for the lunch. He can’t cook to save his life, so don’t expect him to return the favor, but he will leave you a little note where you can find it; something along the lines of “I love you, dude <3“.

Kristoph: Prides himself on knowing a little about everything, so for him not to know the meaning behind your gift is unlikely. He’ll happily accept it and give you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all while hiding how smug he feels. He’ll also give you bento box in return, but with German cooking instead of Japanese. Oh, and that little love note you put in there? Expect to find a three page-long love letter in your lunch.

Ray: Pretty knowledgeable about romantic traditions around the world, so the chances of him getting it are pretty high. He’ll thank you for it rather sheepishly, as this is one of the few times you’ll get to see him flustered. Once he reads the note, though, he’ll pull you into a big hug, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. Afterwards, he’ll immediately set out to make you a bento box in return, or take you out to dinner if you prefer.

Sebastian: Bless his dense heart, he’s clueless. He’ll be very thankful though, and promise to make you something in return (despite his nonexistent cooking skills). He’ll likely eat it at work and brag about how you made it for him, which is when Miles steps in to explain the meaning behind it. That + the love note is enough to make him cry tears of joy, and he’ll tackle you in a hug the moment he gets the chance to.

Simon K: Doesn’t know how to feel at first because he’s never had someone make him lunch before. Once he sees the note inside, though, he realizes what it means and becomes even more emotionally confused than before. He’ll thank you, rather awkwardly, and promise to make something for you. He’s not much of a wordsmith but he’ll still add a note, expressing how grateful he is for the lunch.

Katherine: Will be on the verge of tears when you give her the bento box, and will flat-out start crying when she reads the love note. She’ll cling to you, thanking you profusely and promising to make you one as well. She keeps her word and makes you a wonderful bento box the very next day. Instead of a love note, however, you’ll receive a song she wrote about you (and she’ll even sing it to you while you eat).

Bobby: Another very dense yandere who is definitely going to get scolded by Blackquill for not understanding what your gift means. He’ll make up for it though, by going above and beyond to make you the best bento box you’ve ever eaten (it won’t be the prettiest and he’ll likely have burned something, but it’s the thought that counts, right?). He’ll also keep your love note on his bedside table so he can read it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up.

Simon B: He’s a huge weeaboo Japanese cultural enthusiast, so he’ll get it right away. He’ll tease you about it and act cocky as usual, but in reality, he’s trying to hide the very obvious blush on his face. He’ll keep your note safely tucked away in his coat pocket for whenever he wants to reread it. He won’t return the favor right away, though. Instead, he’ll give it to you when you least expect it in order to fluster you.

______

- Mod Dollie

[nostalgic-pancakes]

F is for friends who do stuff together - the awake at 2 AM remix

Joan needs a swear jar, Talyn's a lightbulb, Valerie is tired and valid, and Thomas+Sides are very confused)

Summary- Thomas has had his sides around for... a long time. That's for sure. And he knows that nobody else can see them (except maybe Lilly, but she has sides too, so).

Pairings- Pintroverts, Thomas and friends, Thomas and Sides

Read on AO3

Word count- 2666

Warnings- It has character!everyone, and NOT their real life counterparts. Please remember this.

Other notes- AU where instead of Vine, c!Thomas left chemical engineering for signing with a really dope theatre company with his friends. He still meets Nico at the mall, but Nico's a new writer for the company! All the sides are friends too! Enjoy!

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Look, the first time was an accident, okay? Joan was tired and a bit incoherent and what was Thomas supposed to do?!! Leave them be? No! So Joan ended up staying the night.

Except, the next morning was when everyone had entered the courtroom together and they'd gotten WAY too dramatic over whether to lie to them about a text they'd made like… two days ago and that Thomas had only seen after combing through a barrage of memes and that Joan probably wouldn't remember, come to think about it. But that was hindsight and after the utter nightmare that was a whole day (A whole day!!) with Aunt Patty the day before, Virgil and Patton were absolutely freaking out, probably giving Deceit (Who, in hindsight, Thomas knows as Janus) a little extra leeway into the conversation that day.

Either way, Joan had stayed the night in order to recover from the utter sleep-deprivation that they'd been going through, and Thomas had forgotten about the fact that Joan was even there for most of the morning, only seeing them after the entire courtroom spectacle (and a suspiciously dire warning from Virgil) at breakfast, and them leaving to see Talyn a little after (with plenty of hugs involved, duh).

Then Thomas told Joan the truth over the call, and Joan had said The Line (as Roman, Virgil and Janus call it with an oddly cryptid-like voice) and Thomas felt himself go frigid.

Since when did Joan know that Thomas talked to his sides?! Had they learned their names? Figured out that Thomas might just have a few extra screws loose than they might have initially thought?

"Maybe they even hate us now because we got so crazed over one little text and--”

“Virgil. Not helping!” Thomas yelps, and Virgil catches himself in his spiel of worst case scenarios, looking a bit sheepish. Patton and Thomas smile at him reassuringly (he hopes) and Logan clears his throat, causing everyone to turn to him.

“Well, Joan seems to be aware enough of the fact that you speak to us, but mostly considers it as you, as they had said, ‘talking to yourself’, and besides, you didn’t name-drop us too many times, anyways. And while it’s not really...ideal, that Joan thinks you talk to yourself for this long-”

“You can say that again, Stephen Hawk-Nerd”, murmured Roman. Logan winces, and Thomas kind of wants to hug him, so he does.

“Yes, Roman, and as bad as that nickname is, note that this is not, in fact a worst-case scenario. This can be put down to the fact that Thomas has some strange personality quirks-”

“Did you just do some wordplay there, kiddo?” Patton beams at the implication, while Logan, currently being shared by Thomas and Virgil, just groans and descends further into the contact.

“No, I did not, Patton, but what I am saying, is that this is not too bad. We can talk about it as a general personality quirk. This is fine.” Logan finishes, and becomes a heap in the total hug-pile of Thomas and Virgil, flopping over. Huh, he (as usual) has a point. Maybe this can work.

The second time was a pretty near miss, but once again, it was unexpected! He and the sides were just watching Mulan together as usual! They were piled up together, blankets in hand, and yeah, it might look weird to anyone who can’t see the sides, he guesses, with the blankets stretched out in places that have nothing to stretch onto, but once again, he wasn't expecting someone to come over! But anyways- whatever happens, happens. He's trying to be better about it.

It really doesn't stop Janus from pulling out all the stops (teaming up with Virgil, even!) when it comes to having to come up with an alibi to Terrence over why the blankets are arranged so strangely, even though there is literally nothing keeping it afloat. In the end, it's not the most believable lie, but Terrence is busy with Valerie just after, so he probably doesn't really think about it too hard. Besides, Thomas has always been a pretty quirky guy! ("Which could be an insul--" "Jack and Sullen, we love you very very much, but please, for the love of all things Disney, please breathe and take out your fidget cube..") So hey, what was a new quirk when added to everything else?

Meanwhile, Terrence is trying to figure out what the fuck he just saw, because he's pretty sure that there were more than one Thomas there, and Thomas only has two other brothers. Also none of them dress like twenties mobsters or are semi-transparent.

Nico was having a good day. In fact, he still is!

He and his (amazing) boyfriend were sitting on the couch- though more draped on top of each other than anything while binge watching ELITE and Tiny Pretty Things, while also being pleasantly high (as opposed to stoned).

Things only entered strange territory when during one of the flashback murder-y scenes in Tiny pretty Things, a strange man who looked like an even more chaotic Thomas with some grey hair on him entered the room from seemingly nowhere, and proceeded to occupy the sparse space on Thomas’s lap with his head, essntially just napping on his boyfriend’s lap while also being kind of see-through (???!!!???AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). Thomas noticed, waved a small wave and started playing with this weird guy’s hair.

Nico is now a little high from the bong that he and Thomas had shared, but not enough to hallucinate, especially since, when the high was pretty much gone, the guy was STILL THERE. MIERDA. At this point, he’s just going to call it ghosts. Thomas doesn’t seem to mind too much anyways, so they must not be harmful. Nico decides to table this for another day and go back to binge watching crazy maniacs with his very soft and warm boyfriend, and let the remainder of the high coast along.

"We have to talk about the Thomas thing." Is the first thing Joan says without any bullshit, as soon as everyone except Thomas himself, Gavin (because it's two AM) and Quil are packed together in Thomas's living room, where he just binged Parks and Rec with everyone. They've all finally managed to shove Thomas and Quil back to their respective areas of sleep after 42 hours without said sleep, and nobody was allowed to talk loud enough for them to wake up.

"The… Thomas thing?" Asks Valerie. Oh that sweet summer child. Joan once again quietly calls everyone's attention by asking Talyn to shake their hair around like a neon-coloured alarm bell. This was especially effective in the otherwise dark kitchen where they were trying out glow in the dark hair dye.

"Well, as of lately, we've been seeing a lot, and I mean a lot of really weird shit coming from Thomas. Everyone, recount your experiences." Joan says in the most serious voice they've got. "I'll go first."

They wave their hands like Matt Mercer, as if they were setting up a dope DND campaign. Quietly, of course.

"Well, about a month ago now, I was cleaning here, at Thomas's, because I was sleep-deprived and would have crashed and died if I'd tried to go back to mine and Talyn's. So most of the night goes normally, as one would expect, but when I wake up in the morning…" Joan readjusts their beanie. "I hear Thomas in the living room, talking to people called Logan, Roman, someone called Pat, Virgil and 'deceit'. And this debate becomes an ordeal, alright? He re-enacts a whole entire ace-attorney style courtroom scene with these imaginary people? I called him out on it over the phone when he apologized for some random thing- I don't remember, and he kind of just… admitted that he talks to himself? And moved on.

Everyone absorbs this new information. Camden keeps braiding Talyn's hair.

"But that's not too big of a deal, right Joan?" Whispers Camden, tying up the elaborate mini fishtail plait in Talyn's hair. "I mean, thanks Thomas we're talking about. He could have been rehearsing or something- isn't he JD in the next production of Heathers?"

Terrence speaks up next. "Yes, this would have been all well and good, had the Blanket Incident ™ not occured."

Valerie shakes her head. Why are her friends like this? Oh wait. They’re all theatre nerds, queer and D&D players.

"In the blanket incident ™, I was walking past Thomas's room, as one does. HOWEVER, while he was watching Mulan, I noticed something wrong with his blanket pile!"

"What, that they don't have any Vetal Miking references on them? Because that's the true tragedy here."

"Nope, sorry Tal, the weirdness here was not about Vetal Miking references, but the fact that parts of the blanket were freaking floating, in thin air! I have discreet pictures!"

"What the fuck, Terrence." whispered everyone in a strange, haunting unison that could only be possible at two AM as they saw the very strange pictures.

"And that's not it!" Pipes up Talyn, who is now realising that they are very close to becoming too loud for 2 AM kitchen chats, and makes an effort to quiet down.

"At breakfast today, Thomas's waffles were making themselves- Thomas can't cook, y'all. And he can't even use is fucking waffle iron. And he was on the other side of the room! Talking to Quil!" After Quil left, he told the waffle creator to chill out because the stack was getting too tall!"

"Is this about Thomas's ghosts, guys?" Asks Nico, the new cute boyfriend and new theatre company writer as he plops down in Quil's usual spot. Nico's nice- everyone likes Nico except maybe Nico, to which, well, mood. ALSO- ghosts?!!

"Nico what the fuck do you mean by ghosts, you serial killer in training?"

"One, just because I have to write a serial killer in this new script and I'm enjoying it, it doesn't mean I'm gonna be a serial killer, you tonte. Two: yeah, the ghosts that follow him around and look just like him? They seem nice enough." At everyone's super unspoken request to elaborate, for fuck's sake, he takes the hint and does.

“Oh! So the first time I saw them, I was at the mall. You know, where Thomas and I met?” everyone nods, and Talyn readjusts their braces.

“So there was this guy in a hoodie- Virgil, as you said, and the Disney prince. Roman, I think. And they were just kind of… there? Roman was holding Virgil’s shoulder affectionately, and that’s about it. They were only really visible after about three or four hours of us talking, though.” Some of the people hum.

“Then, we were watching a movie and these two guys who also look a lot like Thomas just kind of lounged? On the couch? They were pretty faint, like if their brightness was decreased to about thirty percent in Photoshop.”

“Hey, same!” says Terrence.

“Yeah, so those guys- the one in the green t-shirt that has the legs on the bus meme- so weird- kind of just stretches onto Thomas’s lap and stays there, while the twenties mobster just… curls up to his side? And thomas is probably like, used to this because he kind of just lets it be and curls the meme shirt-”

“I think it’s Remus.”

“-Remus’s hair absentmindedly and moves on.”

“Fuck.” Whispered Joan very softly, but with great feeling.

“So what do we do about it?” asks Camden. There, finally, someone asks the real questions.

“Well,” puts forward Talyn. “They’re not harming him, right? And he’s had them around for a long enough time, right? So what’s the harm? Thomas is just haunted and will probably be on Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural at some point when he dies but hey, if he’s cool with it, we are too.”

Everyone seems to agree with that, and they’re in comfortable silence, until Valerie asks everyone to go the fuck to sleep, we’re still doing the Heather’s costume rehersals and Death Week starts in two days. With groans and cracked joints from Talyn, everyone hobbles off to their respective rooms in the duplex.

Meanwhile, a certain white-streaked side and his hoodied companion are listening through the wall, far away from what anyone can see, and they both visibly sigh in relief. That didn’t go too badly. The question remains: what do we do now?

“They KNOW????” exclaims Thomas, the next day in the (thankfully empty) breakroom, in between rehearsals- Candy Store is being run through and that means that everyone else is outside.

“Yes, Thomas, they know. Or they somewhat know, I suppose.”

“Yeah, because they think we’re-Thomas is being HAUNTED!!’

“Are you not haunted, then?” comes a voice, and Thomas turns around, forgetting to let the sides dissipate in his surprise. It’s Nico, with Talyn and Valerie close behind, who are clearly taking in the six other guys in the breakroom. Well, fuck. The cat’s out of the bag for good, he guesses.

“Could you get everyone else during lunch break? I’ll explain then.” Talyn nods and leaves with a smile, telling him that they’re not mad at him, while Nico asks, voice farther away “So are you haunted or not?”.

“So they’re… aspects of your personality that you’ve been able to manifest since you were a kid?” Camden asks, a bit disbelieving, even as Logan, Roman, Patton and Janus drape themselves over Thomas on one of the beanbags in the breakroom, filled with other nerdy gay young adults. Logan pushes up his glasses, ready to go on another tangent. Go wild, you funky little dude.

“Well yes, that’s exactly what we're saying. I myself am the embodiment of Logic- every fact that Thomas has ever learned, and his, and these are his words, not mine, ‘the only braincell’. He makes the air quotes to go with the expression, but is also smiling fondly.

“Classic Thomas.”

“Yes, Valerie, I am inclined to agree. However, this is not specific to Thomas. Other people can, in fact, do what Thomas is. Lilly Singh is one of them- the reason that she and Thomas are even friends is because in high school Thomas caught her talking to one of her sides in the art room.”

“So wait-- we can summon sides too?!” asks Nico, and he and Camden look genuinely excited, but Thomas knows the answer to that question.

“Unfortunately no, not really. You have to have an extremely active imagination, and also be ‘innocent’, as society would put it. I’d say näive.”

“For example, I couldn’t make any more sides after i was fourteen, because I watched the news by then.” pipes in Thomas. Joan seems to process this first, nodding and grinning sardonically. “Ah yes, the news. Wrecking childhoods since forever.” everyone nods in gay syncing, because gay minds think at the same time.

Valerie suddenly speaks up; “So how many sides do you have, Thomas?”

Thomas perks up, because his sides are possibly his favourite metaphysical beings (as narcissistic as that might sound) “I have six! My logic, morality, both creativities- Kids and Family and PG13-and-up, anxiety and deceit! I have two creativities because of catholic guilt and my mind’s inherent need to cause chaos, I guess.”

“Valid” replied Valerie.

The rest of break passed by pretty smoothly, with questions being passed back-and-forth about what the sides truly were, considering they clearly were not just Thomas, and Virgil even felt okay enough to come in later! So that was good. Though he kind of wishes Remus had made fewer Heathers jokes- Camden was starting to look squeamish, even as Nico frantically took notes of gorey facts to use in his script.

Honestly, Thomas thought to himself. What was I scared of?

Irrational things. And rejection, replies Virgil in his head. He laughs and pulls him in for a hug, and tries as he might to deny it, Virgil is looking pretty chuffed.

[fandom-necromancer]

Coffee, Crushes and Complications 2

Okay, this was prompted a lot by the lovely @headfulloffantasy @nobodygtb2 and two anons! I hope I could do the demand justice!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 [Prequel]   [Part1]   [Part3]   [Part4]

Tina sighed. She didn’t even have to look up to know who was approaching her first thing the next morning. The RK900 stopped at a respectful distance to her desk and clasped his hands behind his back. He opened his mouth, but Tina interrupted before a single word left his lips. ‘Yes, I think Gavin meant what he said to you yesterday. No, I don’t think he wants to see you again. No, I don’t know how you can win him over.’ The android looked at her in confusion, closed his mouth and opened it again. ‘Don’t try telling me you  don’t have a crush on this man’, Tina just warned. The RK900 sighed deeply and pulled over a chair from the neighbouring booth sitting down in front of her. ‘First off, I don’t have a crush, I just admire his work and Reed seems like an extraordinary person-‘ ‘That’s kind of a crush though.’ ‘I don’t-‘ RK900 stopped and grinded his teeth in frustration. ‘Listen, I just want to apologize.’ ‘Yeah, because the last time you tried it worked perfectly’, Tina teased. ‘Maybe it’s because I approached him unexpectedly? Maybe if I could ask for a-‘ ‘A date?’ ‘A meeting’, he stressed. ‘So we can properly talk about it.’

Tina kneaded her forehead. ‘Listen, Rich, you are talking about Gavin Reed here. The guy can’t stand talking properly about anything. And I thought you got his message last time: He doesn’t want your apology. He is happy, he found his place in life. I don’t think your apology will mean much to him. Especially when you have done nothing wrong.’ She looked the android in the eyes. ‘Drop that damn apology. You did apologise and Gavin didn’t care. That’s your part done. Except if what you want from him is more than just that.’ The RK900 glared at her. ‘Hey, all I’m saying is you could ask him out like any normal person.’ ‘I am only interested in having my apology heard’, RK900 spat with a blue-tinted face, then he rolled the chair back and left Tina giggling. Yeah. Sure.

-

‘Don’t get too used to these snacks’, Gavin laughed as his cat basically inhaled the slimy paste Elijah pressed out of the tube. ‘Daddy did get a raise, but I can’t compete with Eli.’ ‘Oh, I don’t think you will wither away to nothing’, Eli laughed petting Bready with a smile. ‘You get fatter every time I visit.’ ‘Hey, that’s not true’, Gavin protested. ‘You are a lady! Don’t listen to him!’ Eli put away the cat snacks and went back to Gavin on his couch where the cold beer was slowly warming up. ‘Now, tell me, with whom did you sleep to get this raise?’ ‘With your mom’, Gavin muttered back what had Eli nearly choking on his drink. ‘God, Gavin, your mom jokes? Really?’ ‘Hey, with us it’s funny because I can actually say it without bashing myself.’ ‘Still gross.’ ‘Maybe.’

‘So you won’t tell me?’ ‘Urgh, I will but it’s not that interesting. Just embarrassed some rich asshole on camera and made him spill all his shit as he tried to get back on track.’ ‘Do I have to worry?’ Gavin laughed and boxed his shoulder. ‘Hey, not anymore. These days you stopped being a rich asshole. Now you are just rich. I mean come on, you basically presented the police the culprits on a silver plate. Not many people in your position would do this.’ ‘It’s bad for business if someone would find out’, Eli shrugged. ‘Better to get these idiots out of the way now and use it to better our image.’ Gavin looked over to his brother suspiciously. ‘Also androids are people now and it’s against the law to try force them back to be slaves.’ ‘Sure, that one too’, Eli grinned. ‘Seems like you compete hard to regain the title of rich asshole…’ ‘Nah, I’m just getting on your nerves, brother, believe me. I love Chloe like a daughter, even if I wanted to, she wouldn’t let me.’

They sat next to each other for a while and watched how Bready tried to hustle another snack from Elijah. ‘And, any plans for the future?’, Eli asked finally, lifting up his cat to pet her what she accepted begrudgingly playing for the long game. ‘For the future? Hmm, not phcking up what I worked for I guess.’ ‘I meant personally. Are you considering dating again?’ ‘Says the man who decided that he’s fine alone.’ ‘I am’, Eli stressed, allowing no further discussion. ‘But doesn’t mean that’s the life for you.’ Gavin sighed and leaned his head back on the rest closing his eyes. ‘I’m not saying I didn’t consider it. But I’m a bit tired of it. I mean dates and getting to know people is fine, but… Most of the time it’s just an excuse for one-night stands and if I looked for that, I wouldn’t have put in all that effort of trying to figure out whether we fit together or not, you know?’ ‘My little brother being romantic? Is the world ending?’ ‘I mean, I’m successful and happy, might as well… But nah, maybe I am romantic, but I’m done having fun and playing around, I would like something constant in my life. Damn, maybe I’m just getting old?’ Eli laughed. ‘Hey, it’s valid. I understand you. Maybe you could ask Tina, she seems to have a good nose for people.’ ‘Right’, Gavin resigned. ‘”Hey, Tina, didn’t you date a few guys in the beginning? Any of them still available?” Real good idea.’ ‘Just trying to help.’ ‘I know. Let’s talk about something else, okay?’

-

Elijah had stayed late and although he had helped, Gavin still was left trying to tidy up the kitchen in the evening. After he finally finished cleaning, he decided to check his phone and then head in for the night. It should turn out being a mistake:

>Hello Mr. Reed. >I am sorry for this unexpected message. I found your number by interfacing with Tina’s phone because I don’t know how to reach you any other way. >You have told me you don’t want my pity. I understand that. But I hope you understand my situation as well. I still feel guilty. But I know another apology won’t be accepted by you. >Instead, maybe we could meet for a coffee? To talk about it and get to know each other? From what I’ve seen in your work you are a very interesting man. >I’m sorry if this sounded weird. >I’m new to texting. >Please let me know if that would be acceptable.

Gavin frowned. He had immediately connected the messages to belong to the other Connor, this… Richard? But why did this android bother him again after he basically – no, literally told him to phck off? He read the texts again and hovered over the keyboard. Should he ignore it? Text back? And in what way? He was tempted to just write where the android could stick his words, but it seemed to be a honest concern of the RK. Hell, maybe e should agree just to get rid of him? A part of him was interested in knowing who the new guy was that had replaced him. A part of him he never acknowledged, because he was over his last life, he was over and done with it. He had become better. He had grown. Maybe he should do the right thing and indulge the stupid android. He sighed and began typing.

Fine.< When and where?<

-

RK900 couldn’t believe what he saw on the display of his phone. >I’m here, where the fuck are you? Well, he couldn’t believe the human had agreed to it in the first place. After how abrasive he had been when they had met in the coffee shop… but well, here they were and RK900 knew he just had to wait and see how it would go. I am sitting at the table in the corner. I see you.< Already got us coffee and something to eat I hope you like.< ‘Damn persistent bot you are’, Gavin sighed as he went over to the table where the Connor-lookalike sat. ‘You agreed to it’, the android shrugged. ‘Yeah, I guess I have. Truth to be told, I don’t really know why. I was a bit tipsy, but that’s no explanation.’

RK900 didn’t know how to answer to that and just pushed the coffee and a slice of cake over to the human, who huffed with a smile. ‘At least I do like what you decided to get. By the way, you don’t have to pay for this shit, okay?’ ‘You didn’t accept my apology. See it as indulging an android’s bad conscience.’ Gavin shrugged again and took the first fork of cake. ‘Hey, not saying no to free food.’ ‘Good to hear as I can’t eat it.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. Everything liquid is… fine, although a bit of a mess later on.’ ‘But still you drink coffee?’ ‘Like the taste.’ Gavin smirked, but otherwise said nothing until he had downed half his cake.

‘Alright, bot, what did you want to talk about?’, Gavin asked. ‘My name is Richard.’ ‘That’s a shit name, Dick.’ ‘Please don’t call me that.’ ‘Sure as hell won’t call you Richard. That’s a grandfather’s name. Chose it yourself?’ ‘No’, the android sighed. ‘But it’s what most people called me after I said it’s a name I would consider.’ Gavin huffed from his nose at that. ‘Yeah that sucks.’ ‘I mean I do like it in a way. But I still consider myself RK900.’ ‘Okay, I get how people call you Richard now.’

‘Anyways, what I really wanted to talk about was you.’ ‘Me?’, Gavin asked. ‘Really, that’s a bad decision.’ ‘I am amazed of your work.’ ‘Okay?’ ‘And how you managed to solve some cases… I truly hope to one day be as good as you were.’ Gavin looked the android in the eyes trying to figure out if this was a joke. It wasn’t. Gavin cringed a bit as he answered: ‘Well, I’m sure it’s just experience. Was in this job for seventeen years. You learn a thing or two.’ ‘But you proved remarkable talent from the very beginning’, the android pointed out. ‘Listen, you don’t need to be nice to me. I was a real asshole. I was good at one thing and one thing only and that was my job. I sucked at everything else.’ ‘I’m sure Tina would beg to differ.’ ‘Differing is her phcking hobby.’ That actually made the android laugh. It sounded weird and mechanical. ‘Oh, that’s a good one, need to remember that.’

Gavin looked at the android who grinned wide and caught himself smiling too. Immediately he willed it away. This was supposed to be a one-time thing. Letting the android talk about what bothered him and then never see him again. But… When had he decided that? He thought about what his therapist had told him. Change your old behaviours if you want to change how people see you and better yourself, fake it if you must. Was this old Gavin speaking? Or new Gavin? Phck.

‘She really can be a pain in the ass’, Richard - RK900 – whatever – ripped him out of his thoughts. ‘But she is a good friend.’ ‘You two are friends?’ ‘Yes. She honoured your promise by the way. She never talked about you. That’s actually what made me want to know you for a long time.’ ‘For a long time?’, Gavin asked, lifting one brow. ‘I mean, if you haven’t been active very long I guess everything is a long time. But no, I read a lot about you when I started to work at the police, and I wanted to know the man behind the name.’

Gavin was a bit weirded out and some part of him wanted to shut this conversation down immediately. But he decided against it. Maybe this was worth a shot. ‘Well, then ask away. I’m not that interesting but go ahead.’ Apparently that had been the only sign the android had needed because the questions started to come down like rain: ‘What kind of music do you like?’ ‘Are you a dog person?’ ‘Any hobbies?’ ‘How did you find your new job?’ ‘What’s the name of your cat?’ Initially Gavin had thought to spend an hour max at this café with the android. But the hours flew past as he answered the android’s questions and listened as he shared information on the different topics himself. And as they stood up and left the café with them both awkwardly standing on the street in front of it, Gavin realised he actually had enjoyed this day quite a lot. He looked up at the android, who rubbed his neck and… was that a blush? When they made eye-contact, RK900 spoke up, obviously self-conscious: ‘I… I really liked talking to you, Gav- Mr. Reed?’ ‘Gavin is fine. And I think I- No, I enjoyed it too. You are a nice person. You deserve the job you got, okay?’ And if he hadn’t been sure before, now that blue tint unmistakably was a blush.

‘Would you-‘ ‘Would you like-‘ They looked at each other and burst into laughter. It was Gavin, who recovered first and nodded. ‘Yeah. I would like. Next weekend? Same place same time?’ ‘Gladly.’

[>next part]

[turnaboutnerd]

I saw a post somewhere about the absolute Chaos the prosecutors office must be with Klavier ‘Perfectionist Rockstar and Disaster Bi’ Gavin, Simon ‘Chaotic Neutral Ex-Con’ Blackquill, and Miles ‘I Would Die For My Loved Ones and also Die Before Admitting That’ Edgeworth all working on the same floor. Please, I’m *begging you*, elaborate on your thoughts on this

Here are my thoughts on this dynamic (which I am actually incorporating into the fic I’m working on atm):

Miles Edgeworth would take a bullet for either Klavier or Simon but struggles to verbally tell them how much he appreciates them.

Klavier desperately wants validation after the way Kristoph treated him, so whenever Miles DOES manage to compliment Klavier, on the outside he’s like, “Thank you, Herr Edgeworth,” but on the inside he’s like, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Simon was acquainted with Klavier in the prosecutor’s office before he was jailed, but Simon thought he was insufferable.

Now, Simon low-key likes Klavier because he’s realized he’s one of the few honest and genuine people around the office.

Klavier does not understand Simon one iota and is kind of intimidated by his stature but is nice to him regardless.

Really, Simon wants to be friends with Klavier (because Simon honestly has no friends outside of Athena) but is so bad at making friends that Klavier isn’t entirely sure if Simon actually wants to kill him.

(They eventually figure it out and become friends).

Miles can take a more paternal tone with Klavier, who needs and craves that sort of figure in his life, but NOT with Simon. Simon finds it patronizing and wants to be treated more as a peer than as a child.

That being said, Simon appreciates how Miles tries to look out for him in his own way — and Simon pays the favor in return by looking out for Miles.

For example, Simon is the only subordinate Miles is comfortable with “checking in on him” after an earthquake. He’s more embarrassed about it when Klavier is around.

Overall, Simon and Klavier harbor an insane amount of respect for Miles and the steps he’s taken to clear up the Dark Age of Law, while Miles trusts Simon and Klavier above all his other subordinates to find the truth in their cases.

[imtoobiforyou]

So, about Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts.

These notes focus on the glorious little moments that you may have missed on first viewing.

I tried to keep the analysis to a minimum and keep all that in my future reaction+discussion video, but my Ravenclaw didn’t go anywhere...hehe

In chronological order!

"Waddo you need" Logan and Roman have such a sibling energy I love them

also Roman called on Logan for help I..... I'm soft.. . .character development

Apparently Logan has one "FALSEHOOD" a day lol

Virgil: "Shut up before I shut you up." "I'm going to prohibit your breathing if you keep this up." (To Logan). Virgil is very much not okay and lashing out.

Remus's theme song melody playing in the background when he first appears

Patton says "evil" as he sees Remus, Virgil's voice deepens the way it does when he's especially anxious when he sees Remus

The song. Pay attention to the lyrics of the song. It’s glorious

The "Aunt Patty Naked" post-it in the song!!!!!!

Roman calls Remus "bro" in the middle of the song!!!

Deceit's cameo appearance, one of his arms is holding.... the gavel.

and then he sings.... “No longer will you deceive yourself of the ugliness within you"... basically SvS, huh?

“Why deny yourself knowledge... say, knowledge of yourself.” Dark sides are the sides of Thomas he does not want to face because he wants to believe he's a good person.

No freaking wonder why Virgil and Patton is freaked out the most by any dark side. Patton does not want to accept the dark sides as part of Thomas because he's morality, and Virgil is afraid of the fear of being a bad person Thomas has.

“These sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man who's soul is truly rotten....” Remus tries to say Thomas must be a bad person deserving to be in hell because he has these thoughts..... but he's wrong! It's normal to have intrusive thoughts.

This is totally random but Patton in this episode is so full-on Aziraphale

Logan's reaction face after Virgil says "Then why are you lying?" to him

"But his work? Is nothing sacred?" Logan called Thomas's work sacred I can't I'm soft I'm crying

It's ironic how the literal video where Thomas says he doesn't want Remus's brand of creativity in his videos is the video featuring a lot of Remus's brand of creativity

Virgil's split-second expressions throughout the whole episode kills me

Logan's reaction face when Virgil correctly says not all thoughts have some profound meaning behind them,, ,,,, hes so proud I love them

Virgil's reaction when Remus says he was never one to hide the truth..... That's the commonality of all dark sides. The embodiment of a truth Thomas does not want to face. Remus? The truth that Thomas has a dark imagination. Virgil? The truth that anything can go wrong at any time. Deceit? Thomas is a human being with desires and he is, when it comes down to it, a selfish person.

And Virgil, prompted by Remus, decides that it's about time to face the uncomfortable truth. But he goes about it in the wrong way......

But Logan is there to help him. Logic is what helps us understand dualities and spectrums. Thomas's belief that he is a good person and the dark sides' twisted view of him are both valid, so Logan is there to negotiate. (He was, notably, unable to do that in SvS. Hmmmmm.... :) )

But then Remus threatens Logan. I love that split-second scene so, so, so much....rerhategdfc I love how desperate Remus must be to secretly go to such measures, I love how unfazed Logan is, I love how menacing and dead serious Remus's voice gets, I love how their hair blows like Remus just flew straight at Logan in fury, , ,, ,. . . . ....the acting is killing me

Everyone is in pain after the intrusive thought flashback but Logan is totally unfazed I love it

Big, big kudos to the actors playing the two characters from Just Like Heaven

Okay Patton's suggestion is giving me serious "Turn it Off“ from the Book or Mormon vibes

Remus attacking Logan's character like he's been waiting for it and Logan refuting that without a blink of an eye gives me life

Logan correcting himself, speaking constructively and thanking Virgil...I.... I'm I-

Virgil's face right after he says the exact same thing as Remus at the exact same time screams "no, no, shit, I thought I was getting better, I thought I was better than them now, am I the same? Am I still one of them?"

This episode fuels my analogical obsession so, so, so, so much

I didn't expect them to bring up religion ever, tbh, and I'm so impressed they did. A series talking about a religious person’s psyche wouldn’t be complete without some acknowledgement of religious upbringing and its effects.

“Five of the Seven deadly sins are committed in your head.” Logan, I love you.

Logan is the star, the mvp, the hero of this episode. He's not only logical and correct, but he's respectful and empathetic. That's amazing character development if I've ever seen one

Logan just perfectly won the "why are you saying figuratively all the time" argument without Roman even being there lol

His name is Remus. Romulus and Remus.

Remus side-eyeing Virgil when he says I'm not hiding anything from you.....

Pretty fitting how Virgil evading his origin as a dark side entails him keeping stuff from Thomas, which is the exact opposite of the function of dark sides

Logan's. Logic. Is. The. Only. Way. To. Actually. Attack. Remus.

Remus calls Logan nerdy Wolverine- later on, Roman calls Logan the exact same thing, but immediately apologizes. Roman and Remus is actually pretty alike, but Roman is terrified of becoming Remus....

Romans and Remus is truly quite alike! Not only the outfit and "creativity", but the way they speak, their random nature, their little "oho" laugh, their mannerisms, the traditionally "feminine" traits......

Logan's Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning reference XD

The “dark sides” themselves don't hurt Thomas. His fear of accepting them as a natural part of himself and him beating himself up over it does.

Like Virgil says, he realized he's a bigger liar than he thought, and he feels like he doesn't know himself. With all these dark sides coming to the limelight I can't blame him.

Logan's little smile at virgil when he gets it I.....mtsjtrseafghtrytjyhsdfgsahh

Remus saying "pooopie....." like a discouraged baby while Logan is comparing him to an actual baby lol

Logan saying “Everything is okay” makes me feel things

Virgil's reaction to Logan talking about therapy AHHH

Patton saying "you have my.... permission" really really really reminded me of past Logan and that totally drives home how the positions of Patton and Logan have effectively switched as of late

Remus's reaction to Thomas pointing at him lol he’s like " *sigh* have you learned anything? What do you think you can do to me?"

Virgil looking at Thomas as he goes to take a rest . .. ..he looks so guilty.. . .... and regretful,.. . .,,,and sympathetic. .. . ..

The way Remus looks at Virgil and his "you tickle me Virgil“ instantly convinced me that these two knew each other for a very long time.... Thomas's acting is insane

Virgil's!!! Face!! When!!! Roman!! Gets!!! Up!!! I!!! I'm!! I'm soft!!?!??!?

Thomas saying "I hate you" very seriously to Remus before, mirrored directly when he says "I love you" to Roman

The nerdy wolverine comment thing I said.... before......hnnnghh..

Roman and Virgil's face as Logan tells Thomas to go to bed ahhhe4wythmjghfgfsof.. soft so ft

LOGAN'S FACE WHEN HE IS CALLED COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

"Everything you don't wanna be" Roman.................. honey.......................

"The dark sides?" "The others." The others aren't "Dark". Like Logan said, one shouldn't view this in binaries. Virgil realizes that.

Virgil was a dark side. Confirmed. (Looks around to find literally no-one surprised)

Ha.......................................

Thomas, although a lot of that Remus stuff I did not want to see, and I accept your apology, it probably took a lot of courage to go as out there with the character of Remus as you did. This episode delivers its message perfectly because of that. So thank you so, so, much.

Yay Gavin!

I like how the whole HelloFresh promo has minor intrusive thoughts smattered in it lol

[sharinluna]

Chapter 15 Gavin Analysis - The Name of Faith

NOTE: Please read this in PC because in mobile tumblr app the chapter quotes are not shown properly.

1. In Need of Something to Hold.

I put down the phone and stared blankly at the ceiling and my unchanged room, trance-like. It felt like if I closed my eyes, I’d still be able to feel that weightlessness of falling. I felt the ginkgo leaf on my wrist and tried to drive this surreal feeling out of my head. Then I just kept telling myself, that’s all in the past. That my life had returned to normal, that I could go back to the same, peaceful life.

Gavin: Did you have another nightmare?

Maybe because of all I’d been through, I found myself less and less able to control my emotions.

At the beginning of chapter 15 Yōurán is showing signs of depression, revisiting her trauma and having doubts of reality due to repeated nightmares. It doesn’t occur to the readers right away since we’re viewing the story from a distance. But having prophetic dreams and visions constantly is bound to shake your sense of what’s real and not. It must be really stressful.

To deal with this she is using Gavin’s ginkgo bracelet as an anchor to hold her steady.

The gingko leaf on my wrist glittered in the moonlight, like it was sighing in relief too. My heart slowly settled back down.

Yōurán: It’s because of you that Gavin is always able to sense me, isn’t it…?

Gavin: That’s not it. I can find you whether you have that or not.

The truth was in the game profile all along.

NOW I can finally say this without spoiler tags. For those of you who thought Gavin’s tracker was creepy: There is no tracker! He just made that up because he was too shy to give you the bracelet and say “I made this because I love you.” He is nothing but a sweet, sweet boy.

Anyway, remember the significance of the ginkgo bracelet to Yōurán. Because I will bring that up at the end of the analysis.

2. You saved me and I saved you.

Gavin: Without you, this Ferris wheel would’ve stopped construction long ago, and those people wouldn’t be back to living their lives. You saved them. And you saved me. Don’t let yourself feel that you’re useless. I was falling, and you caught me again.

If I had to coin a phrase that explains Gavin and Yōurán’s relationship it would be “mutual salvation.” This is a relationship where the two people save each other. And in here “saving” doesn’t just mean saving your life from physical danger. It means enabling you to go on with your life, to giving you a purpose to keep going.

When Yōurán thinks back about their fall from the TV tower, I couldn’t help but notice some interesting parallels from Gavin’s Campus Date.

Feeling that he was falling rapidly, Gavin reached out his arms trying to grab something. Suddenly a heavy, rapid, surging melody sounded. It’s like the world has no use for me. If I die, they’ll be happy, right? The piano melody suddenly rang out in several harsh, heavy notes. No, it’s not true. His life didn’t need validation from his so-called father, his so-called friends. - Campus Date

I couldn’t help but think of that moment in despair. But it wasn’t until that moment when Gavin caught me that I realized, I was scared to death. I didn’t want to give up this place, all these people, and the bonds I’ve formed. So I grabbed on for dear life. - Yōurán reminiscing Ch 14

Campus Date is when Yōurán saved Gavin and caught him from falling. The same thing happened to Yōurán at the end of chapter 14.

They were both falling with nothing to hold on to. They both felt they were going to die and had no hope left of living. But something caught them in their fall. Yōurán’s piano for Gavin, and Gavin’s wind for her. After that they both realized that they wanted to live. Their reason to not give up on life is each other.

But it’s interesting that Gavin’s and Yōurán’s reasons for not wanting to die are quite different. Gavin said that his life doesn’t need validation from other people (mostly his father.) This led him to be pretty much detached from others and living like a lone wolf. He found his reason for life by breaking free from other people. Even when others mistake him as violent and scary, he doesn’t care. His own faith and principle that came from Yōurán is what matters

On the other hand, Yōurán said she didn’t want to give up the bonds she’d formed in her life. To her, attachments to other people are important. Not just the LIs. Her work colleagues like Kiki and Willow. Family and friends, her viewers, even the people she just passes on streets. The bonds she formed with people she’s met, places she’s seen, tether her to the living world.

The importance of “bonds” is a key element to explaining Yōurán’s nature and her actions throughout the whole story. Why she constantly throws herself to danger for other people. She is “bonded” to them. Connected to them in a way that reaches down to the core of her existence.

3. STF’s Dark Side

I already said this in chapter 14 analysis. The Special Task Force is not what it appears to be. It is supposedly an organization that upholds justice and protect the citizens. But, in chapter 14 Leto asked Yōurán - who is despite her Evol a plain citizen who hasn’t received any sort of training - to go to the source of danger without offering any back up or protection. Any military or semi-military group that’s asking unarmed citizens to do such kinds of things are using them as tools to maintain order.

And when Gavin gets in contact with his friend Litton it’s confirmed that the STF has done more dirty work.

Litton: No matter how big or small their crime, they all died. Cause of death undetermined, while at STF, and their cases were changed to someone else. Sounds impossible, but with enough patience, cunning, and authority… like the Commander perhaps.

Every Evol offenders Gavin arrested were killed, regardless of the weight of their crimes. Without going through a trial and without receiving a proper sentence. Their death is kept secret from the world as if they were assassinated.

Extrajudicial killing is when a person or group of authority kill a person without following due legal process like respecting the person’s rights to a trial. What they did is not execution, it’s murder.

Leto to Yōurán: STF has been monitoring the boy you encountered today. We guess that it’s an attempt from Black Swan to get close to you. We need you to gain this boy’s trust and possibly protect him to a certain extent.

Now, Leto is trying to get to Litton through Perry, using Yōurán. Baiting her that Perry is related to her father’s death.

Gavin: I don’t know why the Commander said this is related to your father’s death, but this mission isn’t simple at all. You’d best stay away from the boy.

Yōurán: I won’t accept. But I think this boy really does have something to do with the truth I’m after. So, I want to go see him, on my own terms.

She decides to approach Perry for the truth, but rejects Leto’s offer. She is unaware of STF’s dirty secret, but her “strong intuition” is telling her not to trust Leto’s words completely.

Since Lucien who is the smartest person in this story advised her to “trust her instincts.” When she has a gut feeling about these things, it’s usually right.

4. The Loss of Faith

  Litton: Gavin, what if one day everything you believed in turned out to be a lie. What would you do?

Gavin is a man who believes in the most ideal concept of justice. He chose his job in order to protect Yōurán and to ensure that the world is a good place. Because Yōurán is part of the world and the world is part of her. But he is not keeping justice just for her. Rather, the reason started from her and spread to the others.

Gavin’s Summer Loving call demonstrates this perfectly.

Gavin: (When asked why he saved a strange girl on the streets) I just acted on instinct. … In that moment, I suddenly thought of you. I thought, could there ever be a situation like this, you in danger, and me unable to be there? So no matter who the girl is, I would hope someone would stand up and help her.

Yōurán inspired Gavin to become who he is, but that doesn’t mean that his identity is borrowed or not his own. He said he acted on instinct without thinking. It was in his nature to choose to live like this, and Yōurán’s presence helped him discover that.

Litton: I thought I was serving the faith, but now I know my faith was stained with blood. Later I understood. Faith is what you have when you don’t want to know the truth. We were just executioners, that’s all we were.

Slow-gathering doubt, sudden truth. It hit him like a tsunami, assaulting his once unshakable faith. His right hand started tremoring suddenly. A black wind surged up, slight and sharp, slicing through the rain and scarring his hands. Beads of blood rose from the wound and were washed to the ground by the rain. Gavin clenched his fists again, and the blood oozed out, but no wisps of wind surged.

However, in chapter 15, Gavin’s belief of justice and right and wrong is shaken. Enough for his Evol to be unstable again and fail him.

He lost his faith of justice. He lost his faith in his Evol. He even lost his faith that he could protect Yōurán.

5. How to Overcome the Wall Between Us

Yōurán: What happened?

Gavin: It’s nothing major. You don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of it.

Yōurán: Maybe I can’t help you, but I at least want to share the burden with you.

A stinging feeling welled up. I thought after last time, Gavin wouldn’t hide things from me again. I thought he trusted that we could face the truth and take on everything together.

I understand why Gavin is like this, but I also feel the hurt of Yōurán. After what they faced together in chapter 12, this feels like a step back in their relationship.

Gavin: You don’t need to see Perry anymore. I’ll send someone to look after him.

Yōurán is looking after Perry for mainly three reasons. 1) She believes that Perry is related to the truth that she’s looking for. 2) She is naturally a caring person and took compassion on him. 3) She related to him because she has experience of missing her dad too. Looking after Perry came to have a personal meaning to her.

Gavin: My agreement before (about Perry) was on the precondition that you’d be safe. But now, the situation’s changed.

Most of the time, Yōurán respects Gavin’s wishes when he insists that she step back to be safe. But, she’s not going to back away when she suspects that he is not being completely honest with her.

Yōurán: Gavin… you’re hiding something again, aren’t you?

In that instant, a swirl of complicated emotions flickered in Gavin’s eyes. I felt as if I’d been punched in the chest. My heart ached. I almost couldn’t take it.

Gavin: There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But this thing… I can’t let you.

An unspoken barrier of silence and stubbornness had been erected between us.

Gavin and Yōurán usually agree with each other about everything. But this is a topic that they cannot agree nor compromise. So they avoid each other instead of talking things out. Maybe they’re afraid that having an argument about Perry will lead to a fight.

As someone who comes from an abusive family Gavin is extremely careful to avoid any situation where he might be violent to her. Like yelling at her or getting angry at her during a fight. Yōurán firmly believes that Gavin will never hurt her. But right now, Gavin cannot believe himself.

Almost in all cases fights are detrimental in relationships. But you can never not go on without a fight in your life. And among couple fights the silent non-fighting war is the worst one.

I thought Gavin and Yōurán would have to lash out and yell at each other to solve this, even if they have to upset each other. But I was wrong. There was a way to overcome this without resorting to verbal abuse.

Gavin: The moment I saw you fall from the tower was the first time I wasn’t sure if I could protect you. But then I was unable to control my Evol, unable to take you somewhere safe…

And herein lies the root of the problem. With his unstable Evol he lost his confidence, his faith that he could protect her. It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust her,

Gavin: Even without Evol, I can still protect you. Trust me, okay?

He couldn’t trust himself. Losing his faith, he is desperately clinging on to  Yōurán for her faith.

 Gavin: I trust your precognitions. Put your trust in me too.

This was his absolute faith in me, and his absolute reassurance for me.

Gavin and Yōurán saved each other. They try to protect each other. They inspire each other to become good and brave. They also put their faith in each other.

6. Her Growing Powers and Precognitions of Impending Tragedy.

When Perry ran into me, I was holding his shoulders. Last time beside the hospital bed I held Gavin’s hand. And those sudden flashes of visions all happened afterwards, one after the other. Could it be that… because I touched them, I can see what’s going to happen to them in the future?

Yōurán’s power is known to be precognition at this stage in the story. But her visions foretelling the future comes to her involuntarily. She had no control of her powers and she couldn’t start seeing visions whenever she wanted to.

Now, her powers have awakened enough for her to practice some level of control and agency. Physical contact enables her to see other people’s future. Before this, she could see other people’s future only if she was directly in the picture.

Also, she can see not only the future but also the past from her visions. In chapter 12 she already saw young Gavin in her visions being terrified in front of a fire that killed his mother. In chapter 15 she actively used her powers to figure out where Perry was taken. In small steps her powers are growing.

No matter how uneasy I felt or how sure I was of my new ability, I chose to believe Gavin anyway.

Maybe she should have believed in her growing powers more. The LIs keep telling her that everything will be fine but her foreboding sense of calamity has never been wrong before.

I can see people’s futures, but since it hasn’t happened yet, maybe I can change it?

Well… this game seems to have a depressing tendency to lean towards fatalism… as she would soon find out in the future to her dismay.

7. Doing the Right Thing.

Countless gun barrels were trained on us. A team of armed units surrounded the entire warehouse. On their chests, STF special ops badges glinted in my eyes. For a split-second, I felt that all of these men before us were like devils. I wanted to ask them why. Why would harm a little kid. How could sworn protectors turn into ruthless executioners?

Gavin: I will not let another child die in front of me.

The concept of right and wrong is subjective, but harming innocent children is a big NO that cannot be compromised. At least to me. Child protection is one of the most important things in humanity. If a society needs to neglect, exploit, or abuse children to keep going perhaps that society shouldn’t exist.

Leto: It was my order.

Gavin: You don’t have the authority to do that!

Leto: The special ops team has its reasons. I don’t have the obligation nor the time to explain it to you.

Gavin: But you have the obligation to explain the first rule of STF code. Every single bullet is fired for justice!

Gavin: I’ve put 76 Evol offenders behind bars. And all 76 have either died or disappeared. If anyone believes in that justice, then those people will answer to me.

Gavin: From now on, there is no more Agent B-7.

Mostly, the government is the one who decides what is right and wrong by law. But what if the government is wrong? Do you bend? Or do you defy? I love that Gavin chose the latter as his answer. He is standing up to the corrupt, authoritative, dictatorship government to pursue what is truly just. A path that is not by any means easy to walk on. Gavin is the Captain America of MLQC.

Yōurán: Gavin, don’t use your Evol again! You’ll be injured!

Uh…. but you should probably keep in mind the current state of your Evol, Gavin…

8. The Name of Faith

“The Name of Faith” is also the title of Chapter 15.

Gavin: The dangers aren’t just coming from the dark, but from the world we thought we once knew as well.

That the danger is from STF. For Gavin that would mean… the faith he once kept, the justice he once upheld, it all crumbled in this instant.

Gavin: I’ll take you to a safe place and then go back and take care of all this.

If we were to put a name on Gavin’s faith. It would be Yōurán. The Name of Gavin’s Faith = Her.

9. Against the Light

(Against the Light is the name of Gavin’s chapter 15 karma)

In the next instant, I saw Gavin’s solitary figure standing all on his own on the horizon. Half a second later, he disappeared out of my sight, like I would never see him again.

Yōurán: Are you going to leave without saying goodbye?

Gavin: Not at all. I made a promise to you.

I saw a cold, gleaming object taken out, pointed straight at Gavin. My body moved faster than I could think, and I shielded Gavin. Something sharp pierced my skin. The intense pain almost forced me to cry out. The next second my ginkgo bracelet split and slipped off my wrist. I snagged it in my hand.

After she foresaw Gavin disappearing, she shields him and gets shot instead of him. But it wasn’t enough to change the future she saw.

Gavin: Don’t let go!

All I could do was hold on to Gavin with all my might and let him focus. I was getting hotter and felt like my blood was rising to my throat. … I couldn’t breathe. I had no strength…

Yōurán: Gavin… Don’t… leave…

I used what strength I had to clutch Gavin’s clothes. The ginkgo leaf bit into my palm.

Gavin: I’ll be back soon.

In that moment, the image of Gavin receding away from me appeared once again.

Yōurán: No… don’t…

An indescribable fear gripped my heart. With my last ounce of strength, I grabbed Gavin’s hand. Don’t leave. Don’t go over there. Don’t walk off like in my vision alone and suffering. Don’t let it be like that again, walking off without even looking back.

Gavin: I won’t leave. I promise you.

With my last scrap of will, I clung to the bracelet that connected us.

Even when she got shot and is feverish, she tries to hold on to the bracelet and Gavin. Words like “don’t let go”, “clutch”, “cling to” is used to describe her desperate will to grab onto this object that means so much to her life. Remember what I said about the bracelet at the beginning? The meaning of the bracelet is revisited again, full-force.

Gavin’s Father: Gavin, weakness is the original sin. You go back with me and accept the NW Plan. This is the order you were born to accept. You and your brother are both no exceptions. Gavin, you have no choice.

Gavin’s father is using Yōurán’s life to threaten Gavin into accepting the NW plan. This is something that is so against Gavin’s idea of justice and morality.

Gavin: …You’ll keep her safe?

I never thought that seeing someone stripped of their will and pride could be such a painful sight.

But he accepts it. Everything was taken away from him. He cannot lose the only thing that’s left to him. Yōurán means that fateful autumn day at the campus with winds and piano music. Yōurán is the source of all his faith and purpose in life.

In the name of faith, Gavin is walking down the path against the light.

Yōurán tries to clutch on to Gavin like she clutches on to the bracelet, but she can only watch helplessly as her vision comes true before her eyes.

10. The Only Thing Left to Hold

I lowered my head and saw the bracelet on my hand shining exquisitely, but I couldn’t find the crack from before. It was like I had made up the whole thing.

Gavin left, leaving the bracelet behind. Her mental state is back to the beginning of the chapter 15. Empty, alone and doubting whether anything is real.

The gingko bracelet was her connection to Gavin. It gave her reassurance and courage to carry on despite the hardships. It was what anchored her down to be stable.

Now, the bracelet is only a faint reminder of Gavin’s absence and his echo of promises.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Did you ever review Ghost x Spooker? I cant find it if you did (I checked the spooker tag)

Ghost x Spooker

(If you couldn’t tell, the answer was no haha. I actually had to go check that myself...and got it confused with Ghost x Josh more times than I care to admit tbh,,,)

So, unpopular opinion, I actually think this ship is p cute!

I did a couple small RPs with a friend from the VT Fan Amino a while back

I think I probably prefer PolyPIE over this ship though because the relationship overall seems more balanced in that

I do have some concerns about just the two of them together

But that’s for later

For now, here are the good things™:

So imagine the softness

Ghost isn’t used to affection so he gets super flustered

And when he actually gives affection back (even little things, like holding his hand n stuff, especially when they’re in public) Spooker just goes completely red and has the biggest smile on his face

Which makes Ghost smile too

But like really tiny cause he’s nervous and shy

Look I’m just here for ghost giving little bits of affection and being appreciated for trying and definitely not projecting I mean What

Little smooches

Listen okay listen

Little. Smooches.

Just

Yis

he giv Smooch

Which he you ask? Yes.

So now for the Uh-Ohs™:

I think many of my concerns are similar to those I had with Ghost x Josh

Because canon Ghost is a Bossy Man and Spooker is sort of a softer soul

They also started off quite hostilely - but who doesn’t with Ghost at this point let’s be honest - and honestly from the content I’ve seen (I stopped watching vids a year or so ago? Please let me know if this has changed!) he doesn’t seem to respect Spooker, and barely seems to tolerate his presence - but again, not that this is unusual for him lmao.

I think this relationship could be either very sweet or very unhealthy

Because it could be the story of Ghost learning to open up to people again after many traumatic events throughout his life; OR it could result in one person holding most of the power in a relationship, and either knowingly or - more likely - unintentionally, abusing it and Spooker.

I mean I love Ghost, but he’s got some shit going on man

Like he’s known Toast for almost his entire life, considers him his best friend and partner in crime, and still doesn’t seem to fully trust him with most of his secrets (*cough cough*) - no matter if Toast knows about them nonetheless.

I mean it’s completely valid to not feel comfortable talking about your trauma, but what I’m trying to say is if he doesn’t feel comfortable telling Toast, the person he seems to trust most, would he open up to Spooker? I mean maybe, maybe he’d feel more comfortable trusting that with someone who he didn’t grow up with, that he can cut ties with more easily, who knows.

(Of course this is all assuming he knows about Jimmy/Gregory/CBF/etc.)

Alright! Onto less depressing topics! I lied it gets depressing again

Based on my points above, I think I’d like to see Spooker helping Ghost work through his traumatic memories, maybe getting him to go to therapy, stuff like that

And no one’s ever gone out of their way like that for him before, y’know? I mean, his parents are long gone, and Toast probably doesn’t know how to help at this point - plus the fact that he has his own issues to work through, i.e. macaroni addiction, alcoholism, drug dealing (I’m like 98.6% sure he sells drugs y’all), and maybe childhood neglect or abuse? He doesn’t mention his parents often, if ever, only his grandmother and once in a blue moon his siblings; For instance, why was Jonathan Toast, grandson of the Queen, who - depending on a whole bunch of succession-law-bullshit that I did way too much research on for a post that has nothing to do with Toast or his family - could be as high as 4th in line for the throne allowed to hunt for potentially dangerous paranormal entities unguarded at age 8 with some random kid who, if he does, in fact, have a past or home, is either unwilling to share it or knows just as little as everyone else? Why is Gavin Toast, maybe around 4th or 5th in line, left unattended to a life of crime when he very well should be perfectly cared for, being a member of the royal family? Just some food for thought, and I’m so sorry this turned into a Toast family analysis but I’m keeping it in cause I researched for this shit man.

bACk oN tOpiC: Maybe Ghost doesn’t even realize he’s been through any traumatic experiences, because he’s lived the majority of his life this way?

I’m so sorry if I’m completely misrepresenting PTSD here oh my god please forgive mE

And Spooker sees his reaction to like blood, or CBF, or something, which looks an awful lot like a panic attack to him, and thinks, “Hold on just a frickin moment here–” and maybe he calms Ghost down before he can turn into the Jam Man using some breathing and/or sensory exercises and wow, no one’s ever done that before either!

And like, it takes a while for Ghost to even admit there’s a problem, but maybe a few months later Spooker gets him to book an appointment with a therapist, and Ghost makes it clear the whole way there that he thinks its a complete waste of time and money, and they should just cancel now and go back to base, but maybe by this time Spooker knows him well enough to know he’s actually terrified of going in, of talking about things he’s only just remembering now, of trusting anybody with these parts of his life he only just learned about, let alone someone who he’s never met.

And Spooker can probably see his panic in the way his eyes dart around the vehicle, vigilant in their search for a threat.

So Spooker asks if he can touch Ghost, so as not to startle him, and gets a minute, jerk of a nod in response. He nods back and takes Ghost’s hand from where it strangles the arm rest, lacing their fingers together. Ghost tenses for a long moment, before gradually melting downward, shoulders relaxing and rigid posture slumping to something more comfortable.

And just maybe, they walk into the therapist’s office together, fingers still intertwined, and while the therapist might have to drag the information out of Ghost, and he glares venomously any time a question feels too invasive, the effect is not quite as intimidating as he’d probably like it to be, because never once throughout the appointment does he free their linked hands, which rest on the couch in the narrow space between their thighs.

Y’all I’m so sorry this isn’t longer but my left pinkie is cold from a lack of blood flow and my hands and wrists ache from writing something on my phone earlier, so I’m gonna have to cut it here! Thank you for taking the time to read my shitty, shitty post ♥♥♥

Conclusion: Do I think this pairing would work? Hmmm… I’m really not sure. I think this could honestly go either way, but I think it has the potential to be either really cute or really toxic. I want to give this an “I really hope so!” But looking back I can see there seem to be more cons than pros,,, so logically I think I have to say a “probably not” :’) Thank you anon for suggesting this!

[plounce]

Your aj2 concepts are so good. Like I am massively understating how good they are, but they are so good I’m upset they’re not a game :( the themes and motifs and the parallels are making me go crazy!! Thanks for sharing them with us is all I wanted to say

thank you i’m glad you enjoy it :’)))) im gonna be honest a big reason i have an interest in aa and especially aj is the squandered potential of that game... i LOVE thinking about What Should Have Been. if klavier had not been thrown into the basement and trucy had been developed and utilized and RESPECTED

i love comparative character analysis so much i truly do. apollo trucy klavier are so interesting to me as a trio because all of them are about performance one way or another (as i said) and i think that is so fun and should have been explored

there’s also a theme with the three of them about “your sibling not being who you thought they were�� which is a running concept throughout ALL of ace attorney because god this series is completely obsessed with siblings, but with the aj trio it’s such a cool mirror because with the gavins, klavier knows kristoph as his brother but doesn’t know his secret real personality, while with the gramaryes trucy knows apollo as a personality but doesn’t know he’s her brother. i just think it’s so interesting how EVERYONE is FOILS

you get what i mean, i kind of already went into it in the post. i just love setting up a skeleton structure for a story and then not having to put the effort into executing it lmao i love Concepts. honestly i feel like i should have introduced more new characters and concepts etc but this is MY concept for a SEQUEL and i get to be the one who chooses what characters we obsess over developing!!

honestly. i just want to see them hang out casually. a lot of the best klapollo content is like “these two are actually chill and just hang out and like each other and like helping each other out and can behave like rational adults sometimes” i love that for them. i love people being comfortable with each other

ok im just rambling. thank you for the validation i love it i love you! im glad i could entertain. thank you thank you

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 22: All Roads Lead to Scotland

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: You and Rowena finally have a heart to heart.

A/N: Huge thanks to @hell-is-empty-the-devils-are-us for medical info on Scotland.

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

The last day of school, which was usually easy going and lax, had, for lack of a better world, been a mess.

The fight — or rather what was left of it — was officially ended by intruding teachers. The crowd dispersed, students sent on their merry ways. The parties involved were dragged to the Principal's office, each by a separate teacher to ensure the fight wouldn't continue, and their parents were promptly called.

You hadn't seen Crowley for the rest of the day.

Olivette and her posse had started the rumor mill right away. Why wait for the new semester when they could start their work while their memory — well, Olivette's memory for she was the only one of them who was actually there for the fight. Or rather, for its conclusion — was still fresh?

They'd tried to convince the student body that Crowley had attacked Lucifer because he was jealous of his popularity, and had tried to spice it up by adding bits and pieces about his unhealthy, unbrotherly feelings for Rowena, who, the poor dear, was torn between her own loser brother and her popular boyfriend.

No one bought it.

Not a single person.

Not even the usual gossip whores who ate up all the shit they heard regardless of its validity.

Everyone had witnessed the fight and its sequel starring you, Crowley, Rowena, and Olivette, with guest appearances from Lucifer.

They knew Lucifer was abusing Rowena.

They knew Crowley had beaten the shit out of him as payback.

They knew Lucifer and Olivette were screwing around behind Rowena's back, and that you were the one who'd outed them to the entire school.

They all knew, and they are it up like candy, hungry for more, more, more.

You hoped the impending holidays would calm everything down, let the dust settle. Allow for the new semester to be a new beginning.

Being one of the main characters in gossip stories wasn't how you'd imagined your Senior year of high school. Or any part of your life.

You weren't made for that kind of life.

Crowley had texted you later that day. He hadn't said much other than that he was okay and wasn't in as much trouble as he thought he would be. And that Lucifer had gotten his ass handed to him by, of all people, Crowley and Rowena's mother.

Crazy protectiveness seemed to run in the MacLeod family.

From what Crowley had told you, Rowena was okay. She wasn't talking much, but she was okay. Locked up in her room. Away from Lucifer.

For good, you hoped, prayed to anyone — anything — that would listen.

She deserved better than him. Deserved love, kindness, gentleness. Everything someone the likes of Lucifer couldn't provide her for it wasn't in his nature.

He was an animal.

A predator.

He used, took advantage of, abused. Ruined and shattered. Destroyed everything he touched, everything he laid his eyes on, like a savage.

He didn't deserve a girl like Rowena.

Despite telling yourself that it was early, that she probably needed more time, you found yourself on the MacLeods' doorway two days after school had ended. You were freezing, the cold air biting at your skin, seeping into your bones. It was torture, but you didn't let it discourage you from seeing Rowena.

You needed to explain yourself. Needed to tell her why you'd betrayed her, why you'd stabbed her in the back. Needed her to understand the last thing you wanted was to hurt her, even though that was exactly what you'd ended up doing.

You were her friend.

You cared about her.

You loved her.

Her ignoring your messages wasn't going to change that.

At the very least you wanted her to hear your side of the story.

If, after you explained yourself, she still wanted to pretend you didn't exist — if she wanted to cut you out of her life — you would respect her wish. It would hurt like hell, but you would respect it.

But first you hoped with all you had, from the bottom of your racing heart, that she would be willing to hear you out.

Ten minutes.

That was all you needed.

Afterwards, she could do what she wished, no matter how much it hurt you.

Her life, her choice.

Rowena opened after the second knock. Clad in pants and a glittery shirt, she left her bruises (and there were plenty; over her neck, down her arms, more no doubt concealed by the clothing) uncovered. No use hiding them now that the truth was out in the open in all its ugly, unpleasant glory.

"What are you doing here?"

Her tone was curt, stern, straight to the point. Making it clear she wasn't happy to see you, the sentiment confirmed by the narrowing of her eyes.

You swallowed back the hurt, clearing your throat before uttering in your weakest, smallest voice, "I wanna talk."

You understood her anger, understood her disappointment at her friend telling her brother about something she'd shared with you in confidence, but it still stung as if she'd slapped you in the face.

A slap would have surely hurt less.

"Please," you added, noting her raised eyebrow.

Rowena looked you over. Observed you from head to toe like a microscope, taking in every detail, every little bit of you. Then she sighed and stepped aside.

"Thank you," you said, pulling on a smile. Small, tight, but warm enough.

If she noticed it, she didn't acknowledge it. Her face remained cold as the air outside.

Ouch.

You definitely would have preferred to be hit than deal this kind of treatment. At least then the pain would be real, tangible.

This way it just hurt.

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

You supposed you deserved that. Rowena could hold a mean grudge. You knew that when you'd decided to reveal her secret.

It was worth it.

You stood by that sentiment.

Still…

It fucking hurt!

You hung your coat and followed her up. Gavin was standing at the top of the stairs, grinning happily. A little bundle of joy, innocent to the darkness of this world.

"Hi, Y/N!" he greeted.

"Hi, Gavin," you said, flashing him a bright smile. "How you doing today?"

"Okay," he said in that pretend mature voice children put on in attempts to sound older. Silly, but adorable. "Rowena gave me sweeties and she said not to tell mummy!"

"My, what a great sister you have!"

"She's the best!"

She was.

She really, truly was.

Rowena smiled at the compliments. A bit of color splashed her cheeks; not much, but enough to flush them a warm, healthy pink. "Gavin, love, why don't you go back to your room and eat some more sweeties? Y/N and I need some grown-up time."

"Are you going to study?"

"Aye. You know how important that is."

Gavin nodded. Rowena led him to his room while you got settled on the bed in hers. She was so adorable with Gavin. So sweet. It was hard to believe it was the same girl who shouted atrocities at Crowley and joined in on bullying.

Would she still do that?

Would she and Crowley still argue like rabid dogs?

Would her friends invite her to take part in bullying — or would she be their target instead of consort this time?

"So," Rowena said, shaking you from your thoughts. She closed the door behind you and crossed her arms over her chest. "Talk."

You sucked in a breath for courage. "I'm sorry for telling Crowley."

She quirked up an eyebrow, skeptical. "Are you?" Her tone was sharp as a knife, cutting straight through your heart.

"I am."

Well, you thought, kinda.

She scoffed. "Right."

You clenched your jaw. "I am sorry."

You were.

You truly, genuinely — from the bottom of your aching heart — were.

But you also weren't.

Not completely.

Rowena, clever as she was, well acquainted with you after months of getting to know you in this very room, could sense it. Could smell it all over you like badly concealed perfume.

"I know you're mad — you have every right to be — but I never wanted to hurt you," you went on to explain, to elaborate as best as you could for the real reason — the one that made your heart ache with every beat, that tore at your soul like the sharpest knives — could never leave your mouth. She couldn't know that you loved her. That every second from the time you'd found out about what Lucifer had done had been agony, had been fear that burrowed itself deep underneath your skin and wouldn't leave until you knew she was safe. "You have to believe that."

Rowena's eyes met yours for a brief moment before drifting sideways. You made sure to put as much emotion as you could into them, to make it clear that, despite there being more to the story, your reasons were genuine.

"Why should I?"

The coldness in her voice sent a chill down your spine.

"Because I'm your friend."

"A friend wouldn't betray me to my brother."

The nonchalance, however fake — for it was fake, you could tell from a mile away — stung.

"I didn't betray you," you said.

Rowena snorted. Any other time it would have been cute, but now it was just cruel. Unnecessary.

You weren't the villain here.

You weren't the one who'd badmouthed her and had slept with her boyfriend, or the one who'd beaten the hell out of her.

All you'd done was look out for her.

As a friend.

As a…

As something you could only dream of, that could never come to be reality.

"Jesus, Rowena! I just wanted to help you, and you're acting like I killed your mother!"

The words rushed out of you before you could try to stop them, a wild, uneasy storm twisting and turning inside of you, begging to be let out, to roam free. To lash out at her for being so stubborn and refusing to see what was right in front of her.

"I never asked for your help!" Rowena retorted.

A fair point.

Still…

"What was I supposed to do? Stand aside with my arms crossed until her put you in a bodybag?"

She widened her eyes a tad, taken aback. "I can take care of myself."

"I can see that." You got to your feet. Stood to face her. "You know what? I'm not sorry. There. I said it. I'm not sorry I saved your ass because somebody had to!"

If she were affected by your admission, she hid it well. "You couldn't resist the chance to play the hero."

"It's not like that and you know it." You looked her in the eyes. Pierced her with your gaze, intense, pleading. "What if it was me? Wouldn't you wanna help me?"

A flicker of something — understanding? — flashed over her face. It was gone in a split second, features smoothed back to marble coldness. "That's different."

"How is it different?" you asked.

Turning her back to you, she replied, "It just is."

"How? Why?"

Seconds passed, bled into moments. Silence settled over the two of you for almost a minute, loud, deafening. Making it hard to breathe.

You could ask the question a million times — Rowena wouldn't answer. Stubborn as she was, she would never answer.

For the truth was, there was no difference. If roles were reversed, she would have reached out to your loved ones in attempts to save you. She wouldn't have left you to your own devices, especially if you were in danger that could easily turn mortal.

Why couldn't she accept help?

Why couldn't she admit she needed it, needed you, needed Crowley?

Why did she have to be so damn stubborn?

Unless it was about more than just pride. Unless she—

No

It couldn't be.

That wasn't Rowena.

Was it?

The girl you knew knew her worth. Had the world under her feet and let no one and nothing stop her from getting what she wanted.

But there was more to that girl, wasn't it? There was the kindness you'd gotten to know, a clear contrast to the meanness. The sweetness. The patience. And that was just the part of her that lived here in this room, all alone, far away from the world where she had to be cruel to survive.

Which part had she left in Scotland?

What were you missing in the puzzle that was Rowena Macleod?

"There's nothing wrong with accepting help, Rowena," you said. "It doesn't make you weak."

More silence.

Then, in a tight, strained voice, "I don't need your pity."

That was what she thought? That you pitied her?

"It's not pity," you said in a tone you hoped came across clear. "I was just being your friend."

"Right." Disbelief. Pure, unadulterated skepticism.

It hurt. You thought she knew you better than that. "I am your friend, Rowena. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I really am, but if I had to do it again, I would." You set your jaw. Clenched your fists to subdue the anger that flashed through you, hot as fire. "I'd rather you hate me than keep getting hurt."

Rowena whipped around to face you, her eyes like daggers stabbing into yours. "Och, save the drama for the stage!"

"You think I'm lying?" Your voice trembled, betrayed the hurt that ripped at you like a thousand knives. "I'm not! I—"

I love you.

The words froze in your throat. Stopped in their tracks as if someone — something — had grabbed your neck and squeezed, hard, bruising.

You couldn't tell her.

She couldn't know.

Not now.

Not ever.

Breathing in deeply, you asked, "Why is it so hard for you to accept that people care about you?"

"Because they don't!" Rowena snapped, eyes glistening with tears she tried her hardest to hold back. "Nobody cares! Caring is weakness. Love is weakness."

What?

"You don't believe that," you said, more to yourself than her. A plea, weak, lowly, that you'd heard wrong. That it was a misunderstanding.

She gave a chuckle, a bitter one. "Darling, if you got to know the real world, you would believe it, too."

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" She sucked in a breath, willed herself to calm. "It means people are arseholes. They say they care, but they're lying."

"I'm not lying."

You would never lie to her.

Not about something this important.

She narrowed her eyes. Looked deep into your hurt ones. "You're lying to yourself."

"Is that what you want?" you challenged. "Would it be easier for you if I was liar? Are you that stubborn?"

"Don't you patronize me, lass!"

"Hit a nerve, have I?" Features softening, you asked, "Who did this to you?"

That took her off guard. "What?"

"Who made you distrust people so much? Someone had to."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Who was it?" you insisted. "An old friend? Boyfriend? Who was it that made you so cold?"

"You don't know anything about me!" Rowena shouted, defensive.

You were on the right track, then.

"I know you're not a bitch. You pretend, but you're not," you told her. "I know you're a good friend. A good tutor. That you like shitty old movies."

That prompted her to chuckle. "My movies are works or art," she said, head raised high.

"If you say so." You let out a chuckle or your own, then continued, "You like weird glittery clothes and matching makeup. Somehow you make it look—" sexy "—awesome."

She smiled. "Well, I am quite awesome."

"You totally are." And I love you for it. Oh, how you wished she could know! "What happened to you?"

Rowena's smile withered. She glanced to her feet, avoiding your eyes.

"It's okay," you said softly. "You can tell me."

Tears spilled down her face, dripping onto her bare toes. Step by careful step, she lowered herself on the bed.

"You're right — there's lots of things I don't know about you," you said, sitting down next to her. She looked at you and you wanted to weep for there was so much sadness in her eyes, so much pain that it hurt — it physically hurt — to sit there, unable to do anything to make it go away. Unable to help her when she clearly needed it. "But I'd like to know. I'd like to know everything about you."

"Why?" she asked, suspicion — cautiousness — creeping into her tone.

"Because I'm your friend," you said for the umpteenth time, and were willing to say it as many times more. You were willing to shout it from the rooftops like a maniac — anything for her to get it in her thick head that what you felt for her was genuine. If she only knew how much. "I want to understand you."

Her cheeks flushed at your admission. Carefully, tentatively, she asked, "What if you don't like what you hear?"

"I liked you when I still thought you were a bitch," you reminded her, prompting a small chuckle. "I'm sure whatever it is I don't know won't change my opinion of you."

Nothing she could possibly say would change what you thought of her. It wouldn't change your feelings, wouldn't change the shift in the beats of your heart whenever you came near her. Wouldn't change the tingles that shot through you every time your hands touched, or the rush that came over you whenever she gave you that big, encouraging smile and accompanied it with a compliment.

Whatever had happened — whatever had been done to her — could, if anything, only make you love her more.

Rowena fell into silence for a moment. When she spoke up, her voice was cold, distant. As if someone else were telling the story and she was nothing but an observer, an overly invested listener. "It happened back in Scotland."

You gave a small nod. "Crowley told me you were bullied."

Well, that it was a possibility. He'd never outright confirmed it, but you could tell he'd had his suspicions.

She laughed bitterly. "He doesn't know the half of it."

You'd figured as much.

"I wasn't very popular," she started her story. "I wasn't popular at all. People either pretended I didn't exist or mocked me." A flicker of pain flashed across her face for a split second; an old, never healed wound reopening, sprinkled with salt, bleeding profusely. "They thought I was pretentious because I did ballet."

"That's ridiculous," you said.

Ballet — any kind of dance, really — was art. Beauty and grace and power all in one.

Children could be cruel little bastards.

"To them it made perfect sense," Rowena said sourly. "I used to love to dance. But, as I got older, I started resenting it because it put a target on my back."

That's wrong, you thought, heart clenching with sympathy. Very, very wrong.

They had no right to do that to her.

"It wasn't just the ballet," she elaborated, taking a short pause to breathe. "They thought my nose was funny."

You thought it was beautiful; crooked and a tad hooked, unique in the masses. Peculiar. One of a kind. A lovely, perfect little imperfection.

"My family was poor. We couldn't afford the best clothes. Sometimes my mum made clothes for me. They were good clothes — they weren't rags — but I still stood out."

"I think it's awesome that your mom made you stuff," you said.

"She's very skilled," she admitted with a tinge of pride. "Compared to other girls, I was quite plain. Boys weren't interested in me."

You wanted to tell her it wasn't true, that, if there was disinterest, it was their issue rather than hers, but allowed her to continue.

"They still touched me. My arse. My boobs. Everywhere. To 'give me a taste because I would never get the real thing.' The girls thought it was funny. They spread rumors. I became the school's slut before I even had my first kiss."

She wrapped her shaky arms around her chest protectively, the memories, fresh again, eating at her like acid. Devouring her alive one little bit at a time.

You wanted to hug her. God, you wanted to hug her. Wanted to wrap your arms around her, hold her tight, and never let go. Wanted to tell her it was okay, that what had happened was their shame, not hers.

She was just a girl born into misfortune, too shy, too clumsy to take on such a big world.

Those people took advantage of that.

If anyone should feel bad, it was them.

"By the time I was in eighth grade, I was sick of everything," Rowena said. "I couldn't take the it anymore. All I wanted was to be liked. I thought, if I could get them to like me, maybe things wouldn't be that bad."

Her jaw tightened. A lump bloomed in her throat; she swallowed it, gulped down hard.

"There were these three siblings. The Loughlins; Catriona, Boyd, and Gideon. Boyd and Gideon always groped me with Catriona's blessing. Everyone gave me a hard time, but those three were the worst. They were popular. Their family was mad rich. They could do whatever they wanted without consequences; no one dared cross them. One time we were alone in a classroom and…"

Her breath hitched. Tears spilled from her eyes like a downpour. A sob threatened to rip free; she swallowed it, willed it back.

"It's okay," you said, laying a hand on her shoulder. A soft, comforting gesture. "It's okay."

She relaxed under your touch. "They were bothering me again and I… offered myself to them." More tears. "I-I just wanted them to leave me alone. I thought if they slept with me, they'd see I'm not that bad." A sour chuckle. "They laughed. Boyd was considering it, but Catriona — she told him it would be cleaner with pigs."

Anger burned at you, red hot, dangerous. You wanted to find those three, grab their necks, and squeeze until they released their very last breath. Wanted to punch them, kick them, hurt them the way they'd hurt Rowena.

They had no right.

Everything they'd done to her, every rumor, every taunt, every unwanted touch — they had no right.

"They told the entire school. Now I wasn't just a slut — I was a prostitute. Everyone started offering me money. Some of the richer kids threw it at me. It was unbearable. And then… then I met Gilroy."

A smile blossomed on her mouth, a sad one, one of longing, of memories that, while painful, hid bits of good in them.

"He was rich. Popular. And he was interested in me. The first boy ever to find me attractive."

First boy with taste, most likely.

"He was Catriona's boyfriend, but that didn't matter to me," she admitted. "I was mad at her and I thought of it as revenge. He was so charming. He promised to leave her 'when the time was right,' and, like a fool, I believed him."

Uh oh.

You didn't like where this was going.

"We'd had three wonderful months together. I loved him with everything I had, and he said he loved me. Then, upon our fourth month, I noticed I was late."

"What?" you uttered, surprised.

"I bought a test. It was positive."

"You were pregnant?"

"Aye," Rowena said, hands instinctively sliding down to her stomach. "I was terrified. I was only fourteen; I was too young to be a mother. But, I thought, if Gilroy wanted the child, we could work it out somehow. I wasn't the first teenager to fall pregnant. It would be difficult, but it wasn't impossible. We loved each other. That was all we needed, right?"

The smile faded from her face, light dying from her eyes in place of glum darkness.

"He didn't want the child. He didn't want me, either, anymore. He thought I'd done it on purpose, to trick him into giving me money. I tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. He said, if I told anyone, he would deny it and no one would believe me. And he was right. Who would believe the school whore that she was impregnated by a popular rich boy who already had a girlfriend?"

You squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "It's fine. It's in the past now."

Years may have passed, but she was still hurt. She was still suffering. What that boy had done would stay with her for the rest of her life.

"That same day I went to the clinic," she said. "Got it taken care of as soon as possible."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"No. Aside from him, and now you, no one knows I've ever been pregnant."

She'd had an abortion at fourteen.

Alone.

Without a friend to hold her hand.

Without family to support her.

Your heart ached for her.

No wonder she'd turned so mean.

Nobody wanted to be around her.

Those who did took advantage of her.

Love had made her week. It had fooled her, took everything from her. Turned her life inside out.

"I was terrified I'd need my mum to sign papers, but law is different there," Rowena said. "Nobody had to know unless I wanted them to."

"Thank you for trusting me with it."

She looked at you, eyes big and so, so green. Sad and beautiful all at once. "You're my friend."

"I am."

If only you could be more.

But, after what you'd heard, after what had happened with Lucifer, you knew she needed time.

It was too soon.

Maybe it always would be.

And you were okay with that.

You could love her from a distance and be her friend for just because the feelings were there didn't mean you had to act on them.

Rowena came first.

Her wellbeing came before your wishes.

"I won't tell anymore," you assured her. "I promise."

"I know." She gulped. "Now do you understand why I couldn't leave Lucifer?"

"You don't need him, Rowena," you told her.

"I do," she said. "Without him and Olivette, I'm nothing. Like I was back in Scotland."

"That's not true." She raised an eyebrow. You sighed. "You weren't popular — so what? They bullied you, and that's on them. You didn't do anything wrong."

"That doesn't matter"

"It does. They took advantage of you."

"And I took advantage of Lucifer and Olivette." She spat their names as if they were dirty, foul.

"Doesn't mean they get to treat you like shit. Those assholes in Scotland had no right, and neither do these two."

Rowena closed her eyes, then, upon opening them, breathed deeply in and out. "What else can I do?"

"Tell them to fuck off," you said, loud and clear. "You're not alone anymore. You have me, and Sam, and Crowley. We're not gonna let them hurt you."

She flinched at that. Her eyes sparkled, brightened up with a new light that lit up within them. A reflection of her soul, healing, hopeful.

"This isn't Scotland, Rowena," you added, allowing your mouth to curl up into a smile. "You have friends here."

"You really mean that," she said in disbelief. You nodded, and she gave a small, self-deprecating chuckle. "Fool."

"I'm willing to take the risk."

You trusted her that much.

She wasn't perfect, far from it, but she was loyal. A good friend. A good person behind the mask she'd put on to protect herself from the evils of the world.

There was potential in her. Opportunities that would do her good, change her life for the better.

All she had to do was take them.

Her face suddenly darkened. "They will turn the school against me."

"They can try," you said, confident. Lucifer and Olivette had influence, but not to that extent. "They're not that powerful."

"They'll make my life hell."

"Again, they can try." Your hand slid down her arm in a soft, gentle caress before taking hold of hers. You squeezed her fingers, wrapped yours tightly against them. Tightened them into a knot, unbreakable, comforting. A wordless promise that you were here, that you wouldn't let them or anyone else lay a finger on her ever again. "I won't let anything happen to you."

She startled, surprised. Looked at you as if you'd just admitted you were in love with her. "You won't?"

"Nope. Think of me as your security guard."

She glanced you over and, teasingly, said, "You, a security guard?"

"I'm tougher than I look," you said in mock defense.

She quirked up an eyebrow. You shrugged, nonchalant.

"What if I don't need your… services?" She purred the word, licked her lips as she uttered it.

Your insides turned to jelly, fire burning hot in your veins, lighting you up from the inside out. Boiling you alive.

That accent.

So thick.

So delicious.

Almost,dare you say it, enchanting.

Damn.

"What if," she continued in that same playful tone, "I can take care if myself?"

"Doesn't hurt to have backup, does it?" you told her.

"I suppose," she conceded.

"Good girl."

She flashed a smile; a big, bright one, straight from the heart.

It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

"Don't worry," you said. "It'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"If you say so."

You knew so.

The bullies back in Scotland had only gotten away with tormenting her because she was alone. She'd had no one to turn to. No one to wrap her in a hug and tell her how amazing she was. No one to have her back.

Here, she had friends. She had you.

And you wouldn't let anything happen to her.

Never again.

If Lucifer, Olivette, and their little entourage thought they could bully her, they were wrong.

They may have gotten away with treating her like shit for over three years, but that ended now.

She wasn't their property.

Wasn't their little plaything.

Wasn't their doll to use and abuse as they saw fit.

She was a person.

The girl you loved.

And you would do everything in your power to protect her.

"I'm proud of you," you said.

Rowena frowned, taken aback. "Whatever for?"

"For telling me everything. For not putting up with Lucifer and Olivette's shit anymore. That must've taken a lot of guts."

Her cheeks flushed bright, ripe red.

You grinned.

Then, without thinking it through, you threw your arms around her and wrapped her in a hug.

Rowena froze. You could feel her heart pounding against your chest as you held her, could feel it speeding up, running full speed. Her body was warm against yours, skin soft, tender.

Home.

She felt like home.

How could anyone hurt such a delicate creature?

How could they bruise her?

How could they think it was okay?

Holding her, you wanted nothing but to protect her. To keep her like this forever, safe in your embrace. Far away from school cliques and hierarchies. Just… yours.

Only yours.

God, you loved her!

"You're so fucking awesome!" you said, when all you wanted to say was, I fucking love you!

"Aye," Rowena said, a tad coquettish. Teasing. "That I am, dear."

Her arms slipped around you, returning the hug. Reciprocating the tightness, the protection.

You melted into it. Gave yourself away to the sensation, to the feel of her against you. To the warmth that radiated off her as if she were the sun, your system's brightest star.

Your lifeline.

Your everything.

"Thank you for trusting me."

She offered no reply.

You held each other in silence, for what must have felt like hours. Just sat there and held each other as if your lives depended on it.

Maybe they did.

Maybe nothing else mattered except the two of you.

A girl could certainly dream.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures - day 4 (orlando pt. 2)

was i excited to be on tour? yes. was i also super nervous about going on tour before leaving? also yes.

was i excited to go to disney springs? Y E S. was it the one thing i knew i could look forward to even if i sucked at every fucking show??? 

B I G  Y E S. 

my poor bandmates. i said the night before, “hey, i just realized, we never actually really discussed going to disney springs.” and they were like, “yeah.”

but! we went anyway!!! bless their hearts!!!

the morning after staying up and partying was rough. i had the NASTIEST hangover. my headache was so severe that i couldn’t even fall back asleep following 5 hours of rest. i popped some advil and tried to get a couple more hours in but it was impossible, so i just got up and showered. the guys brought back panera for lunch, and then once everyone was ready we were off to disney springs. i could tell everyone was worried it was gonna be lame, i felt it in the air lmao. i was also worried i was leading them to a miserable afternoon in the hot florida weather. but i figured if they hated it we could always leave.

we pull up to disney springs and there is some semblance of what i remembered from the last time i was there but also a lot that i DID NOT recognize. the parking garages were definitely new. they had sensors over each parking spot that could indicate whether or not a car was in the spot, and it would update an LED screen outside the entrance with how many spots were available on each floor. i thought that was really cool. there were gardens on the sides of the garages too. we then go up some stairs and down an escalator to get in, and hooooly shit i was blown away. there was a brand new area that had a fountain and all of the shops looked reminiscent of spanish architecture. it was so beautiful. 

we got group pictures in front of the fountain, and then i decided to get a happy birthday pin from guest relations lmfao. i wanted to see if i could get any free shit by just waltzing around with a birthday pin on. i was unsuccessful but i had never been in or near disney on my birthday anyways so i just rolled with it. we started to the right and went to world of disney, marketplace co-op, the lego store and the pin trading shop. 

i was completely overwhelmed by how big all of the stores were. there was so much cool shit. i really thought i would have an easy time abstaining from spending money, since my sister was literally just there and got me the one thing i wanted, but i did NOT. at world of disney i bought ANOTHER pair of minnie ears, the rose gold sparkly ones lmfao. not usually my style, but there weren’t any others i was crazy about. joe got a shirt and ryan bought some stuff for his girlfriend christina. i wanted clothes but i decided to wait to see if there might be better merchandise elsewhere.

we moved on to marketplace co-op and i immediately found a disney world long sleeve shirt i loved so i grabbed that. i alsoooo balled out and got a print of the most beautiful mulan painting i have ever seen. it was a depiction of one of my favorite parts in the movie, when she is singing reflection and chops off her fuckin hair, but in the garden instead of the shrine. that movie means very very much to me as an asian american!!! besides that i got emperor’s new groove patches later on in the afternoon and that was all i spent my money on. $138 later. yeesh.

my friends eton and jeri who came to the show the night before wanted to meet up for food and drinks, so i walked over to frontera cucina. i thought maybe my bandmates might join us but they weren’t hungry and it was more of a sit down place, so we parted ways for an hour. i hadn’t seen eton and jeri since they moved down to orlando in january, holy shit. it was so good to hang out with them. we caught up and enjoyed some really good lunch. i ordered a gin and tonic that had a whole ass cucumber peel wrapped around the glass and pork belly tacos. i bugged out bad because eton wouldn’t let me pay nor could i get his venmo from jeremiah to cover my portion. it was so sweet of them to treat me. i met them through jeremiah, i always tell him how much i love his friends and how they’ve become my friends the more we all hang out together. it sucks our time was so damn brief but i’m just glad i got to see them.

after late lunch i met back up with everyone and we walked around a little longer, but i mistakenly let us stay a little later and lost track of time. it was just about time to start heading over to hail the sun. i felt really bad because people mentioned wanting to go swimming or take a nap and i effectively robbed everyone of any allotted leisure activity time by wanting to gallavant around more. i was definitely just as wiped as everyone, but i hadn’t been back to disney in forever. we hurried back to the van and drove back to kissimmee. 

pulses. had been grilling and chillin at the airbnb all day, so they were ready for the gig when we got back. we got back just in time to leave when they did, like 15 minutes before. we both hopped in our respective vehicles and we were off. they always dropped snails in the tour chat and called us with snails ahead because we were slow with the van lmfao but it’s not MY FAULT the shit is SO HUGE damnit. i drove the van to the gig with josef, jaime and kris while ryan and santino stayed home. 

it’s interesting to go to a show in another state, it does feel pretty weird to go somewhere unfamiliar, but it really does feel the same as attending a show at home. people really are pretty much the same everywhere else, just different geographical locations and climates. the gig was really good but the venue was SO SMALL. too small. i like the soundbar but i might like it better if you didn’t have to wade your way through a crowd of swamp ass to get to the bathrooms alllll the way on the other side of the venue opposite of the entrance. plus, it got so packed that it was really difficult to be near the stage, let alone inside the building. for most of the show the 10 of us camped out in a really great spot near the bathrooms that wasn’t getting too much traffic and had its own bar so we stayed there.

we were at the show where sergio broke his headstock. i don’t think i’ve ever seen a show where sergio stands still the entire time, in the dozens of times i’ve seen him play. he was so close to that monitor/the ceiling but i didn’t suspect his guitar was going to break. i completely missed it because i was looking down at my phone (womp) but i heard everyone audibly gasp. that sucks dude. i think that was the only bummer the whole show though besides the heat and some sloppy drunks. pulses. are friends with zach garren so he was hanging out near us here and there throughout the night. daisy came to the gig so she came and found us, we hung out for a good portion of the show, too! it was a really good chance to talk more too after the gig the night before. she told us a lot about what the florida scene is like. we told her it’s infinitely better than the tri-state area LMAO. at least like, people show up to shows and STAY on a monday night which is insane. and then joseph arrington is a friend of ours so he said hi a couple times during the gig, afterwards him and i talked more when it was quieter. 

it is one of the greatest honors in my entire life that joseph arrington sees me as a homie. writing this under the presumption he’s never gonna see this lmao, but i have to pinch myself sometimes. we’ve been friends since we played the last ALLB tour september 2017. i introduced myself and mentioned that we had opened for sianvar’s 2016 tour at webster hall and he actually remembered us. ryan also introduced himself as one of his patreon donors and they talked for like 45 minutes. that show he asked for a CD (and it was years in waiting our older album too yikes lol there’s bangers on there but it doesn’t sound like us anymore) and he messaged me later that night like, “we’re listening in the van right now, you’re a great singer”. we’ve hung out at gigs a couple more times, whether we played together or either ryan or i went to go see him play. the fact he considers us peers is one of the most validating things i have. i’ve learned a lot of helpful insight from him. i have tremendous respect for him and couldn’t be more grateful that he actually likes us as musicians and as people. 

all of the bands of course were awesome, i couldn’t stand the heat enough to be inside for every single hail the sun song but i caught most of their set. it’s pretty insane to see them blow up like they have. they deserve it. and i think donovan is one of the best vocalists i’ve ever heard. that whole camp of blue swan musicians are just so talented. 

josef, jaime and kris graciously waited outside for me to finish talking to joe arrington, and during that time josef actually caught will swan outside. he said he had the chance to tell will swan deathstar is the reason he plays music and it made him very happy to do so. it had happened like a little bit before i came back outside. we then got lost trying to find the van and hilariously passed the actual entrance to the parking garage like 3 times. it was literally across the street and i led them around the block twice. 

we went back to the airbnb for one more swim and we almost had another super late night legit just talking to pulses. kris sat outside editing photos while some of the guys swam, some of us just sat with our feet in the pool. when we got back ryan and santino had been sleeping and i think i maybe saw santino get up once to go to the bathroom. i did really want to go to sleep but ughhhhh i also thought to myself, i can sleep when i get home from tour. i get really bad FOMO every day of my life. so we stayed up and we talked about all things dance gavin dance, blue swan, our local scene, and bein in a band. it’s insane how alike we all are in our way of thinking. i also find it hard to open up to other bands though because it seems like no one else sees playing music and trying to grow a band the way we do. i just wanted to eat up any time i could bonding with pulses., taylor and tyler. thankfully we weren’t up until 4 am again but legit any time up spending time with all of my friends was worth it.

[classical-crap]

generic asks masterpost

so I’m a little overwhelmed with asks at the moment

and I have been noticing a pattern with some of the asks, so rather than flooding your inbox with the same posts but just in different forms, I’m making one of these

1. what should I name my instrument?

-steve or kevin. you may name your instrument gertrude, but that’s kind of my thing and I’d advise you to explore other options

2. I’m considering licking rosin---

-don’t.

3. I’m going to start playing an instrument without a teacher. any tips?

-get yourself a beginning (insert instrument of choice) book. read through the fundamentals. don’t skip anything.

-watch videos on youtube, either instructional videos or videos of people playing the instrument and study their posture and technique. people forget that visual learning is perfectly valid and extremely helpful.

-practice with a tuner, metronome, or in front of a mirror if you’re learning an instrument where posture is super important.

-if at all possible, find a friend who plays the instrument and force them to show you things. 

-record yourself so you can hear your mistakes early on and correct them before they become huge problems.

-musictheory.net 

4. I play (insert instrument). am I compatible with (instrument) players?

-no. sorry. 

5. how long should I practice every day?

-I know that most people ask this with the knowledge that the answer is most likely “there’s no right amount of time, and you should aim for quality over quantity.” but if you really want a time to shoot for, try for at least an hour of focused practice every day. it certainly won’t hurt. 

6. what hogwarts house are (insert instrument) players in?

-oboe is in slytherin, flute, clarinet, and piccolo are in ravenclaw, tuba is in hufflepuff, trombone and trumpet are in gryffindor, horns can be in any house, really, and percussions are either kind of jocky gryffindors or awkward hufflepuffs. first violins are likely in ravenclaw or slytherin. contrary to popular belief, the concertmaster is in ravenclaw and it’s the third chair who is in slytherin. second violins are gryffindors, violas are hufflepuffs, cellos and basses are usually hufflepuff or gryffindor, piano is in ravenclaw, as is harp. vocalists are either ravenclaw or slytherin, depending on how egotistical they are, guitars are in gryffindor, and any remaining instruments are split between slytherin and hufflepuff (ie kazoo is in hufflepuff for obvious reasons, but the theremin is in slytherin). I hope that answers your question. 

7. composer recommendations?

*I don’t actively listen to a lot of pre-romantic era composers

-tchaikovsky

-sibelius

-takashi yoshimatsu

-shostakovich

-alfred schnittke

8. general music recommendations?

*I don’t think all of these songs are for everyone, but I would encourage you guys to give it a try

-converge

-in love with a ghost

-evanescence (fans of mozart should check this one out)

-dance gavin gance

-last dinosaurs

-whatever this is

9. am I too old to start playing an instrument?

-no.

10. which instrument should I start playing?

-piano is just a great starter instrument in general. pretty much every musician has to learn it at some point in college anyway, so you might as well. the ukulele is a great string instrument to get started on, just because it’s very simple, and no matter which string instrument you may want to learn after that, the ukulele will teach you very valuable things about how stringed instruments function and all of that knowledge will carry over. I’m not a spit instrument kind of person, personally, but whatever instrument interests you, go for it. 

11. *insert viola joke*

-that’s so original.

12. *insert oboe joke*

-now you have my attention, and respect.

12. opinion on _____ instrument?

-it’s good on the rare occasion it is in tune. 

13. sharps or flats?

-sharps. but I do have to admit, except for g flat major, flats are starting to grow on me.

14. are (insert instrument) players attractive?

-probably not, to be quite honest. 

15. stereotypes for (insert instrument) players?

-probably awkward, probably liberal, possibly gay, very sad.

16. kazoo

-yes.

17. C R O N C H

-no. 

feel free to shoot any specific questions/stories you may have into my inbox, but please try to minimize on the whole “name my instrument” thing and whatnot. also, viola jokes are still welcome, but please be creative with them.

[firstofficer-williamyiker]

God, I'd fucking hate to reblog this but this post doesn't allow people to just directly comment.

Yes, the Gavin Reed we see strictly in canon is an absolute asshole. I won't deny that, most of those who like Reed900 or Gavin won't deny that. He does a lot of bad shit that he shouldn't have done.

However, unlike characters like Amanda or Todd. Gavin can actually be written with redemption arc. Why? Well...

The Amanda we see was a program created by Cyberlife, she isn't a person or an android. Her one goal is to keep track of Connor and make sure he stays on task. And to reset him if he deviates. Lowkey not really a redeeming character cause she can't really develop a personality.

Todd was an abusive prick to Kara and Alice. He repeated sent Kara to be repaired due to the injuries he had caused. Also, he was presumably abusive to his ex-wife and daughter before they left him. High-key not a fucking thing I'd wanna redeem. Plus QuanticDream already kinda tried to redeem him and Y I K E S it was uncomfortable. I think most of us draw the line at child abuse.

Yet Gavin, due to the fact that the game doesn't give him much personality and was mostly just made so you could sympathize with Connor. You can practically do anything with him. Yeah, he's an asshole. But why is he an asshole? Why does he act the way he does? Is he afraid of being replaced by androids so that's why he reacts the way he does? And when androids gain their freedom how does he react to having to adjust to a new way of living. It's a perspective you don't really see with anyone else (other than like Hank but he has his own reasons).

The fandom has turned this one-dimensional prick into a fleshed out character. And that's pretty amazing! I've never seen another fandom that I've been in do something like that to such an extreme. Gavin is no longer just what QuanticDream made him, he's what we made him. (Dare I say we've done it better than David C*ge, cause honestly, as much as I love DBH. Some of C*ge's writing is just plain bad or basic.) We all gave him bits of a personality, a backstory, motivations. Same with RK900. They are ever bit ours as they are QuanticDream's.

And it's fun to ship Gavin with RK900 in my opinion. They're fun to write, such drastic opposites being forced to work together till they find a mutual understanding of one another. (But I also really like enemies to lovers so like, hehe).

But that's just my opinion. It's totally valid not to like Gavin Reed or Reed900.

But please remember, fandoms are supposed to be fun. Respect that others have opinions on fictional characters that may differ from your own. Where's the joy on hating something that people enjoy whether you personally like it or not. As long as it's not hurting themselves or other people I don't see the issue.

I hope this helps explain it a little bit :)

the fucking fact that 💀 the racist shithead white man with literally like 5 minutes of screentime has twice as many fics on ao3 than Markus aka the main fucking character 💀 AND that said racist shitty white man has a whole entire fan movie and twice as many ship fics as Markus/Simon with an uglie white character who literally isnt even in the fucking game.........i hate fandoms yall