#also again sorry i'm late. didn't have much time to be on tumblr this week

[toktopus]

i’m very late but thank you for tagging me @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx​​ <3 rules: shuffle your “on repeat” playlist and post the first 10 songs

venus fly trap - MARINA / basket case - green day / PA PA YA!! - babymetal / gloom - djo / vampire money - my chemical romance / crucified - army of lovers / head bangeeeeerrrrr!!!!! - babymetal / dead! - my chemical romance / dance macabre - ghost / chop suey! - system of a down

shout-out to my spotify playlist for not embarrassing me for once haha.

not sure who to tag or who has done this already BUT i challenge anyone reading this to do this (if you want to) :)

[halfbloodfics]

Hi, welcome on tumblr.

I see that request are open. So. I have one :D. Can you write snape x reader fluff. She is also professor in Hogwarts. They are long time in secret relationship and another man (maybe Lockhart? :D ) trying to him. But it’s ridiculous for Severus and her so sometimes in evening after dinner, they talking and laughing about what he come up with. Thank you very much. And sorry for my English, it’s not my native language.

Thank you for the request, I'm sorry I'm getting to it so late. Uni is starting up again, so I'll be quite busy.. But fret not fellow sev lovers, all requests will be taken gotten too!!

Tropes: Fluff, established relationship, secret relationship

Warnings: none :)

requests are open :) see pinned post xx

~

The classroom was quiet, the students having just been dismissed for the weekend. With your back turned to the door, you began tidying up after them, pushing in the chairs and returning borrowed textbooks.

The afternoon sun poured in from the ancient windows, filling the class with a warm, ambient light. From the back of the room, your partner, Severus, gazed up at you, waiting for you to be done.

A small smile graced your lips, one that he returned. For professional reasons, you kept your relationship private from the other students and staff; giving no clues that you were together. During the week, the two of you slept in your seperate chambers, on opposite ends of the castles. But the weekends? That was your time to finally be together, in your shared home on Spinner's End. Away from the secrecy and obligations of your professional lives.

You continued to clean as he graded, eager to finish, when a familiar voice interupted the silence.

"Ah, Proffessor Y/LN." Lockhart said, standing in the door frame. "Allow me to assist you in cleaning."

You opened your mouth to politely decline, but before you had the chance to, Lockhart invited himself in, using his wand to organize the classroom and tidy things back up the way they were.

"Oh, thank you, Professor Lockhart." You said, brushing your hands off on the sides of your dress. "You didn't have to, but I appreciate it."

Severus stood quietely at the back of the class, in the corner of your eye you noticed his arms cross.

It was no doubt to anyone in Hogwarts but Lockart, that Severus absolutely despised the man. The proud, flirtacious and conceited man was the absolute opposite of your reserved partner, and yet, Lockhart never seemed to catch on to this fact that his presence was far from welcome.

He grinned, showing off his pearly white smile and stepping a little closer until he was about a foot from you.

"Say, Y/N," He started, adjusting the turqouise and gold rimmed hat on his head to show off more of the curly, golden locs, "You seem to be fairly intelligent. I'm sure you have exquisite taste, in extra curricular activites."

Your eyes flicked briefly at Severus, who was now staring at the back of Lockharts head, with an expression that was half amused, half annoyed.

You hesitated. "Umm. Thank you? I thi-"

Lockharts hand raised dismissivly, his fingers gently grazing across your face to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. "No needs for words, Professor Y/L/N. I know, how star struck you are." He says with a wink.

Oh. Yea... Starstruck...

You clear your throat, walking over to your desk to continue collecting your things.

Obnoxiously, yet not surprisingly, Lockhart follows, this time stopping in front of your desk, watching with a smug expression as you gather your things.

"Which is why, dear, I was wondering if you would love the honour, of coming to my book reading this weekend?" He starts, leaning on the desk, "There will be plenty of my admirars there, hopefully you amongst them. Who knows? Perhaps I'll even sign something for you, free of charge."

You paused, bag in hand. "Oh, um.. That's quite kind of you, Professor. I thank you for the invite, but I'm quite busy this weekend... Unfortunately."

Lockharts grin faltered, as if he wasn't used to a woman denying him the pleasure of his company.

From the back of the room, Severus let out a small scoff, causing Lockhart to turn around and notice the man he hadn't seen before. "Oh. Professor Snape." He said, clearly fighting to maintain the confident persona he had put on.

He turned back to you, forcing a smile. "Well, yes. Another time, certainly. I'll see you on Monday, Professor."

You nodded, forcing a small smile, feeling relieved as you watched him exit the class and disapear down the hall.

As soon as he was out of sight, your head rolled to Severus with an exasperated sigh. He smirked back at you, clearly amused by the whole ordeal as he approached and took the bag off your shoulders.

"A signed book of his, free of charge." He said at last, drawing out the laugh you had been holding in so long.

~

That night, you sat in the kitchen of your shared home in Spinners End, reading The Quibbler as Severus stood in front of the stove, stirring a pot of soup.

"Finding any entertaining gossip, dear?" He said, back still turned as he prepared your dinner.

You put the paper down with a scoff. "No, just the regular, boring stuff. Besides, these papers don't even have crosswords at the end. What's the point?"

You watched Severus move around the kitchen quietly, hands delicately chopping vegetables and adding them to the pot. All these years, and he still didn't use magic while cooking. You knew this about him, that he preffered to use his own hands to cook, finding solace in the quiet, mindless activity.

He brushed a sliced carrot off the cutting board and into the pot. "Perhaps you should have taken Lockart up on his offer. Surely his riveting tales would have provided you with such entertainment."

There was a playful edge to his voice, despite his monotone phrasing. It was no doubt he could get jealous, possessive even. Particularily in the beginning of your relationship. But as the years had gone on and his trust in you developed, his doubts and insecurities lessened, finding others flirtations slightly less outrageous. But with Lockhart? It was just laughable.

You snorted, moving your paper to the side as he approached with two bowls of soup, placing yours on the placemat in front of you.

The front, framing pieces of his black hair fell in front of his smirk as he sat across from you on the small table. His left hand reached for the paper, his right one bringing the spoon to his lips and blowing gently on the soup.

"Oh, no," He stated as his eyes scanned the paper, "Certainly no tales of Lockharts bravery in here."

He flipped the pages, the corner of his lips tugging up slightly higher as you scoffed, bringing your own spoon to your lips and taking a sip.

"However will I fill my weekend with enjoyment now?" You sighed.

Severus smirked, taking another sip of the soup and putting the paper down. "I don't know. Now that you no longer have the honour of his company."

That was all it took for you to break out in a laugh, leaning back in your chair and playfully kicking Severus under the table.

"Sev," You laughed, "Did you see the look on his face when I declined?"

Severus smirked, laughing silently to himself as he brought the spoon to his lips once more. "I'll be keeping that memory close in mind the next time I'm lucky enough to have the honour of gracing his presence."

You laughed harder, always amused by your partners never ending sarcastic remarks. It was one of the things you were first attracted to him for, all those years ago. How he could always one up you in conversation, his wit never ending.

"How often do you think he hears the word, no?" You said.

Severus scoffed, sipping the soup again and swallowing before replying curtly: "Not nearly enough."

You giggled to yourself quietly, relishing in the view of his smile across from you. "Perhaps I can help with that." You said finally, stirring your soup.

He smirked as his dark eyes met yours, and for a moment the only sound was the clinging of your spoons against the bowls as you ate, stomachs full of home made soup and amusement.

When Severus had noticed you were finished, he stood up, holding out his hand to collect your bowl. You handed it to him, thanking him and smiling as you felt him lean down and place a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"I must say," He murmered against your hair. "I think your company is a much greater honour."

You smiled as he withdrew his lips. "The honour is yours all weekend, my love."

He placed the bowls in the sink and came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck.

Sighing, the stress and obligations of the previous school week began to melt away. You were here, in your shared home. The peace washed over you as you tilted your head back against him, breathing in his familiar scent.

"Thank Merlin for that." He murmered at last.

~

la fin, xx

[underfvced]

“ᴛᴇᴀʀs ᴏғ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴜʀᴇ”

☆ Yoriichi x Reader ☆

‼️ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ‼️

WARNING: SEX, CHEATING, MATURE CONTENT

° I do not support these actions in real life, Everything I mentioned is only for a Fictional story.

° I also do not own the dividers and picture used, A friend suggested it.

[MODERN AU]

° You are the Fiancé of Michikatsu Tsugikuni, The eldest of a Well-known family. . And one of Japan's most successful Entrepreneur.

Michikatsu Tsugikuni treated you like a queen, he would spoil you with the most expensive jewelries and bags while pampering you with love and kisses.

Not to mention, Aside from being treated like a Queen he treated you as his 'Little plaything' In bed, He was an absolute beast making you see stars with each thrust he does.

For you it felt like you were living in heaven, Being taken care of properly with the right amount of love and affection. Unfortunately not all good things last forever

For the past few weeks, you noticed Michikatsu's odd behavior such as distancing himself from you, Facing the opposite side of your shared bed refusing to even touch you or look at you, Being more often out of town, and Being too close to his Secretary.

Everytime you would visit his work place, You can see the looks he exchanged with his Secretary yet. . You couldn't bring yourself to blame him because you are indeed out of the secretary's league

She had a long wavy blonde hair with a pretty pair of 'blue eyes' that looks like the ocean itself, The uniform given to her was tight and small so it exposed her perfect hour-glass body, She was pale and Tall almost reaching Michikatsu's height. Just mentioning all of these made you insecure about yourself.

Today was your anniversary with Michikatsu and You wanted to surprise your Fiancé so you book a reservation at a Exclusive Restaurant.

Michikatsu promised to be home before 9:00 so you started getting ready at 6:00.

TIMESKIP

8:40 PM

You are already done with your make up and hair so you decided to put on your Dress, it was a sleeveless midi long velvet purple dress with side slit.

You choosed this purple dress since purple was one of Michikatsu's favorite colours.

You then sprayed your Dior perfume all over yourself and grabbed your purse, You then walked towards the mirror and observed yourself to see if everything is alright.

"Alright! I'm all ready" You spoke to yourself and quickly went downstairs to wait for Michikatsu.

9:40 PM

You are currently sitting in a big comfy white couch while scrolling through Tumblr. the time on top of your phone screen caught your attention and you noticed the It was already 9:40 and Michikatsu still haven't arrive.

Your hope in michikatsu was fading but you still choosed to not listen to your fading hope.

maybe he's just late

BUZZ

A notification was heard from your phone and you quickly went to check it hoping it was michikatsu.

[Y/N] 8:39

Hello! I miss you so much, goodluck at your work!

[Y/N] 8:45

Oh btw, choose a color.. violet or purple?

[Y/N] 8:50

I thought you will be home before 9 😭

[Y/N] 9:00

I love you 😗

[Michikatsu] 9:41

Sorry, I couldn't reply to you earlier I was busy.

[Y/N] 9:41

That's fine! Are you on your way home yet? ^^

[Michikatsu] 9:45

I know I promised to be home before 9 but it didn't go as planned.

I have to attend a important business party.

I'll be off now I still have a lot to do.

Stay safe my lovey

[Y/N] 9:45

Oh..

'Liar' you muttered under your breath.

You felt sad and angry at the same time since michikatsu kept on breaking his promises though you tried to understand his situation

A notification was heard from your phone again and you decided to check the notification. . It was a notification from michikatsu's latest post on Instagram

You clicked on the Instagram notification and saw that it was a group picture of michikatsu and his colleagues. His Secretary was standing too close to him holding his arm while he was holding a glass of wine. They were even matching clothes, both in purple huh?

pathetic.

It was pathetic that you are overthinking right now just because of this.

You didn't want to feel miserable so you decided to distract yourself by drinking champagne, You walked over to the refrigerator and found a few champagne you kept before.

'Looks like it's a date for me and myself."

7 bottles down.

You were a crying mess and your vision turned blurry because of the continuous tears dropping thinking about where did you go wrong for Michikatsu to choose her over YOU.

'Am I not pretty enough?', The negative thoughts won't leave your head as you tried to fight the thoughts away however it was useless.

You're useless for him

RING RING

You could hear the doorbell rang and your eyes lit up thinking it was michikatsu at the door.

You rushed to the door and as soon as you opened it you saw yoriichi Your fiancé standing at the gates.

Your vision was blurry but you can tell that it was michikatsu it's not

"Michikatsu! I knew you would return!" You said excitedly as you unlocked the gates, hugging him as soon as he stepped a foot in the Estate.

"Y/N? I'm not michikatsu." You completely ignored the dude refusing to accept that he wasn't michikatsu. "Your jokes are silly" you giggled playfully.

Yoriichi stared at you with a concerned look and he noticed that you smell like alcohol, "Have you been drinking?" He asked.

"no~" you denied, before he could say anything you dragged his arms with you going back inside Michikatsu's Estate "it's cold here Hun, let's go inside!"

Yoriichi was seating in the couch at the living room while you were sat besides him blabbing non-stop about your 'overthinking'

"I shouldn't have introduced you to him if I know this would happened." He said bringing himself closer to you and placing a hand on your chin.

Yoriichi was your childhood friend, you have been friends since elementary and he was the one to introduce his older brother michikatsu to you.

Introducing His Older brother to you was his greatest mistake

"eh?" Before you could even react to the situation yoriichi pulled you in for a kiss.

You melted into the kiss, it was so passionate. His kiss was full of love, it was the kind of kiss you seek for.

The younger tsugikuni was indeed the better kisser.

He then pulled away from the kiss leaving you in surprise and shock.

"Y/N, please give me a chance." Yoriichi then gently grabbed your other hand, placing it on his chest.

"I swear, I'll be better than my older brother."

Yoriichi knew that you were drunk and he took advantaged of this, He was too tired of always playing as the 'Good Guy'

After all, Good guys always finish last.

He wasn't going to let it happened again, The Gods gave him another chance to fix his mistake and he definitely won't waste it.

You were still drunk and couldn't think properly, You couldn't believe what Yoriichi was saying "I can't, michikatsu is—"

You then remembered what Michikatsu did. He was messing around with other women isn't he? so why not play his 'little game'

Play the game or get played.

'it's time for a change isn't it? Fine. I'll play your game michikatsu.'

"Let's take this in the room." You said as you pulled yoriichi to your shared room with Michikatsu

As soon as you reached the room, yoriichi locked the door behind him and he carried your body placing you onto the bed you shared with Michikatsu.

The same bed where you promised to love each other through life and death.

He then captured your lips owning them and making them his. His tongue then licked your lower lip asking for permission to enter your Mouth to which you granted him access to. While fighting for dominance yoriichi started to pull your purple dress down while undoing your bra as you melt deeper into the kiss. As expected yoriichi dominated you and he freely explored the walls of your mouth as you helplessly let him explore you. He then pulled away from the kiss leaving a string of saliva, he then licked your mouth to cut the string.

Since yoriichi pulled down your dress and undid your bra earlier you are now only in your panties, he eyed you down and smirked as his hand freely roamed around your body, tracing your curves and playing with your nipples. Feeling his warm touch upon your skin made you shiver in ecstasy.

"Your body must be heaven's gift." he said as he started undoing his belt and soon as he lowered his pants Yoriichi's big veiny cock was on display. You gulped at the size of his cock it was even bigger than what you imagined and not to mention his size was definitely way bigger than his older brother's.

Could this even fit?

"Suck" He demanded, you gave onto his orders and you slowly stroked his huge cock. His cock was warm, yoriichi's cock then twitched in the air as you continued stroking his member.

You moved both your hands up and down, back and forth, jerking yoriichi off at a nice and steady pace before fully taking him on with your mouth.

"Oh fuck y/n.." Yoriichi moaned softly as he shivered from her touch, Yoriichi's arousal was rising quickly and he got impatient so he gripped onto your hair and shoving you onto his Dick

"Sorry, I'm getting a bit impatient here. Open your mouth" he ordered you to open your mouth to which you obeyed immediately, he then pushed his cock all the way down to your throat causing you to gagged at the sudden action.

He was still gripping on your hair as you started to suck him off, Licking his member up and down while stroking the part that was out of your reach.

"N-ngh~ Good girl just like that" yoriichi was moaning in pleasure while you were giving him a blowjob, with each seconds flew by he was getting closer to his climax.

"Keep moving, I'm getting closer" He moaned , as you enjoyed the sounds he is making for his moans are music to your ears.

Yoriichi still kept a grip on Your hair as he reached his orgasm, pumping his salty cum into your mouth and all the way down to your throat. You gagged and couldn't properly breath at the quantity that he just released on your mouth not letting his seed escape from your mouth.

You swallowed all of the cum that was released onto your mouth and started panting trying to catch your breath while yoriichi smirked, he wasn't done with you

"What a good girl, you deserve a reward"

"Lay on your back" He commanded as you hesitantly layed on your back, he then spread your legs wide open and started rubbing your panties.

"Look, your panty is soaked." He then took your panty off and started to play with your clit, making you shiver at his actions.

"Tongue or fingers?" He asked, you then melted into embarrassment too shy to answer him but then again you are already doing it so you might aswell continue.

"tongue please." He gave you a nod as his warm wet tongue slid inside your pussy. you could feel his saliva mixing with your own wetness, You felt like crying out of ecstasy, His tongue hit your clit and you felt butterflies in your stomach. His tongue moved back down near your cunt, You squeezed the sheets "Y-yoriichi~ more please" you begged.

Yoriichi licked and sucked over and over again. your legs began to shake while moaning out his name "mphh~ Yes right there~"

His hot breath against her clit made her sensitive and shivered. Your pussy tasted delicious for yoriichi, he was enjoying every second he licked your cunt. The more you moan his name, the more he wanted to make you cum like a mess. He pressed his face more in between your shaking legs, sucking on your clit and tongue fucking your cunt. The harder he licked, the more you gain pleasure and suddenly yoriichi hit that 'one spot' making you cry out loudly in pleasure. "fuckk, yoriichi!" You moaned loudly. Yoriichi didn't stop tongue-fucking you as he is well aware that you are close to your orgasm and as expected within a few minutes a fresh splash of cum was all over his tongue and he swallowed it. Your cum is now his favorite dessert.

Yoriichi gave you a minute to catch your breath as he prepared his cock to enter your pussy, "Are you ready?"

You gave him a weak nod as he positioned himself Infront of your cunt. Yoriichi was slowly entering your pussy and it felt painful due to his size, yoriichi interwined his fingers with yours to support you as he placed a light kiss on your forehead muttering a 'You can do it my dear'

"It hurts!" You cried out, yoriichi wiped your tears away as he gave you a kiss on the side of your lips "You can do it my love, just a bit more."

Yoriichi's cock finally entered your pussy as you are still grunting in pain trying to get used to his size, "Tell me when to move" yoriichi said as he tucked in some of the your hair behind your ears. His size was massive and this was the first time you had such a massive cock inside you. Sure michikatsu was big but yoriichi was even bigger compared to him!

You then gave him nod signaling him to move, he then started thrusting onto you while grunting "shit, I didn't expect you to be this tight", He then started picking up his pace going faster every second his heavy balls hitting you as the room was filled with your moans and yoriichi's grunts.

"you feel great y/n i-i can't get enough of you" yoriichi moaned, "Yori-" you were about to say something until yoriichi pulled you for a deep kiss, he then pulled away from the kiss saying "I love you Y/N"

You struggled to answer at first since yoriichi was hitting the perfect spot "I-i love you too yoriichi", With each hard thrust the both of you were close to having an orgasm, Having sex with your fiancé's younger brother was a fucked up decision but life is already fucked up anyways so what's the difference?

Atleast yoriichi knows how to be there for me in times of needs.

"I-I..ngh~" you moaned struggling to form a sentence from the pleasure so yoriichi answered for you "Close? Me too love." He expressed as he sped up slamming his gigantic cock onto your pussy walls completely destroying it.

You reached your orgasm moaning yoriichi's name out loud, Yoriichi was still aiming for his own orgasm so he was still slamming his hard cock onto your pussy.

When he finally reached his orgasm, he cummed inside of you which made you slightly moaned.

He then lay down besides you, the both of you are breathing heavily trying to catch your breath.

"that was amazing yoriichi." You praised him while he looked over to you giving you a smile "You did great aswell Y/N."

He gave you a kiss on the lips and you could feel him smirk against your lips.

You are no longer his older brother's

But his.

° That night, yoriichi helped you clean up yourself and he was the one who took care of the house while you are resting in your room.

He didn't want michikatsu to suspect a thing so he excused himself to leave early that morning before michikatsu returns and you said your goodbyes, kissing him on the lips before he left.

Michikatsu then returned that afternoon, immediately searching for you "My dear, I'm home!" He announced happily.

He expected you to hug him or greet him with a kiss but all he got was silence, he then went up to your shared bedroom and saw you sleeping peacefully. He never saw you sleep in the afternoon which was kind of odd but he figured that you just got busy earlier that day and went to take a rest.

He then sat beside your sleeping body as he tucked some of your H/C behind your ears 'You look as beautiful as the day I meet you.' he expressed while staring at you with eyes full of love and admiration.

You slowly woke up and you were greeted by a kiss on your cheek, you noticed that it was michikatsu, you didn't expect him to return today since he said he will be busy for the month.

"Dear, I have a surprise for you" He said, you gently yawned and rubbed your eyes still feeling your legs a bit sore from last night.

You responded in a sleepy voice "W-what is it?" He then chuckled at your expression, he finds it cute when you are sleepy.

"it seems that are too sleepy to even move so I'll carry you at my back c'mere" michikatsu said as he offered his back to you, you declined saying that you can walk yourself but he insisted so you just sighed in defeat and agreed to be carried on his back.

You find it odd on how he's being extra sweet today when he was literally cold towards you the past few weeks.

Did he got bored of his Secretary?

As you were getting closer to the destination your eyes got slightly hurt from the sunlight. So you closed your eyes in the mean time hoping that it would go away.

"look my dear, I bought you the car you always wanted." Michikatsu said as you slowly opened your eyes to see your dream car right right Infront of you

Your eyes widened at this and joy filled your body "Wh-what? You didn't have to! This must be expensive" he then chuckled "Don't worry about it my dear, this is just one of my gifts for your approaching birthday. I'm sorry if I got busy or cold towards you the past few weeks I just got stressed thinking about how to surprise you on your birthday and trying to finish all my works before your birthday so I could get a day-off for your birthday."

So that's why he was busy..but what about his Secretary?

"Also, my Cousin helped me with the all the gifts and planning hehe~" he said as he placed me down.

You tilted your head in confusion, which cousin? "who?"

"My Secretary"

Your eyes then widened when he answered your question, Did you misunderstood the situation? Or is he trying to fool you?

"she's your cousin? She doesn't look like you"

He then felt offended thinking that you thought of him as "ugly" compared to his female cousin, "I get that a lot."

He then showed you a childhood picture of him and his Secretary, you gently observed the picture and it was indeed the secretary you were jealous of.

"She also told me she's into girls so I didn't really bother introducing her to you because I'm afraid she might steal you from me" Michikatsu expressed with a sad face.

Wrong Move

This is why communication is important to avoid misunderstanding and such.

[toythrob]

Too shy to slide in your dms but I need to get something off my chest. I saw how detailed your answer to the last ask about edging regiment was (that wasn't me btw) but it made me believe you'd be the best person to approach

I'm extremely new to this side of Tumblr. I literally didn't even know about edging until a month ago. I'm very interested in learning more about it. But, I've been cumming non stop since I had my first ever orgasm years ago. I've had like 3 orgasms a day at minimum. So it's not easy for me to just flip the switch and not cum again. I tried getting into edging myself but I'd literally end up cumming on the 3-4th edge.

I realised I needed actual guidance from someone, someone who can teach me and hold me accountable, so I made this Tumblr. Since then, I've encountered a few doms/mutuals who claimed they could help me in this journey. But their instructions were always "don't cum for the next 3 days", "don't touch yourself for a week" and punishments if I broke the rules. Obviously it went nowhere because i ended up cumming pretty quickly.

This is just leaving me more frustrated now. I know what I need, i need a schedule, i need someone to let me cum in the beginning and then slowly increase the gap between when I'm allowed to cum. Use my love for orgasms as a way to ease me into edging. But no dom seems to understand it.

Am i wrong for wanting this? Is this an absurd approach to even expect? am i just a failure at being an edgeslut?

Sorry if this is too long. Feel free to ignore if you don't want to respond, i totally don't mind!

- ✨

I‘m happy to hear from you. I’m sure that you’re not the only one in this situation, so I‘ll try my best to answer this in as much detail as possible as this could be helpful for others as well.

First of all, you’re not in the wrong at all and you‘re not a failure. Sometimes people can be too impatient or inconsiderate. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to start off slow, especially considering that you’re still quite new to all of this. You should always have fun and not feel like you’re being pushed to do anything.

I‘ve got a few ideas on how you could ease yourself into this and slowly increase the intensity.

For the beginning, it might be enough to try edging just once. Make sure to stop when you feel yourself getting close…it’s better to stop too soon rather than too late. Over time you will get a better feeling for how far you can push yourself before you inevitably cum. Then take a break for a minute in order to calm down again.

This might already be the point at which you want to reward yourself and make yourself cum. But depending on how you feel, you could also stop altogether and just go about your day (to practice being denied) or start over again with another edge (maybe pushing yourself just a little bit further this time). You could even see how long you can keep doing this and just edge again and again until you can’t control it anymore and finally cum.

I don’t know what the right starting point for you is. I could imagine that you might want to start increasing the number of edges first in order to get used to controlling yourself and stopping in time. Once you think that you’re comfortable with that, try denying yourself…for example start with a manageable amount of edges in the morning and wait until the evening to give yourself an orgasm (or maybe just a few hours if that’s too hard in the beginning). Next, try to increase the denial period and/or number of edges.

Regarding an exact plan, I’m not sure what the right approach for you is…that’s for you to decide. Especially after hearing about your experiences so far, I could understand if you wanted to start on your own and explore how far you can push yourself. Needless to say, it’s easier when someone else is in control and tells you what to do (as long as that’s reasonable). I‘m of course more than happy to help with that if you need it 😉 (communication is easier if you dm me but it’s not a problem if you want to keep this anonymous)

And don’t worry too much about the occasional accidental orgasm…you’re still very new to this and need to learn how your body reacts. As long as you’re not doing it on purpose, I don’t see a reason for such harsh punishments 😉

I hope that this was helpful for you. Let me know how you get on with edging and denial. As this is public, maybe also let others know what helped you and if you have some other useful tips and ideas for starting off.

[merlinmarvelandother-oneshots]

Hi! Your requests are open right? If so could you write undertale headcanons about a reader who selfharms? Nothing too graphic or anything ofc and totally understand if you're not okay with this :)

I also saw that you did Au's so would it be okay to do this but with the skeleton brother's from undertale, underfell and underswap? (Not the version where people think blue acts like a kid tho please)

Again if you're not okay with this I 100% understand and won't be upset at all :) I write my own headcanons but I prefer reading other people's (I'm not stealing tho dw)

Sorry it's a lot of text and have a great day/night :)

you got it, anon! it totally bothers me when people write blue like he's a child, too.

(my first request on tumblr let's go)

undertale, underfell, and underswap skeleton brothers with a reader who self harms

TW for self harm. if you self harm, there is help. it can get better. talk to a friend or a loved one, or my DMs are open.

Undertale:

Sans:

-he had noticed you acting weird lately.

-distant, almost.

-when he finally pressed you about it, you broke down into tears and told him you self harm.

-"oh, kiddo. c'mere."

-he wraps you tightly in a hug.

-asks you what you use, and asks you to hand it over.

-he tells you that if you ever need anything, or even just to talk, he's free. it doesn't matter what it is, he'll make time for you.

Papyrus:

-he asked you for several weeks what the matter was

-you finally caved and told him

-he was frozen in shock. what could possibly make you do that to yourself? he doesnt understand.

-he suddenly engulfs you into a hug.

-"i will help you get better, human! i promise!"

-he asks you that while you start to heal (both physically and from whatever was going on mentally that made you do it) that you dont do it again.

-he starts cooking for you. like, a lot.

Underfell:

Sans:

-it was an accident that he saw it. your hoodie sleeve rolled up while you were grabbing something and he caught a glance of your injuries.

-he harshly grabs your wrist.

-"who the hell did this to you?"

-you were barely audible when you said that you did it to yourself.

-the harshness in his eyes softened.

-"kid... c'mon, there's better ways to cope."

-he won't admit it to you, but after the monsters were freed from the underground, the stress of it all brought him to self harm for a period of time, too.

-which is why it's all the more important to him that you stop.

-becayse he knows what a slippery slope it is.

-"kid, you gotta promise me you'll cut that out. we can get you help. i ain't much of a therapist, but goddamn it, for you, i'll try."

Papyrus:

-he had to pull an aggressive monster off of you.

-he knew that because he was a member of the royal guard, and therefore disliked by many, that you would be a target.

-he had to take your hoodie off so he could tend to the wounds on your arms.

-"it's fine. don't worry about it," you had said.

-"no, you must let me do this. it is my fault he hurt you. you must let me help you."

-knowing he wouldn't give in, you relented.

-it was when you took your hoodie off that he saw your injuries, even though you tried your best to hide them.

-"human, these have been here for quite a while. who did this to you?" anger was evident in his tone, though he tried to hide it, so you wouldn't think it was directed at you.

-he obviously didn't believe you when you said it was an incident with a stray cat.

-"it's... i do it to myself, dammit!" you said. tears filled your eyes and your voice wavered.

-"that is unacceptable! you must quit this right now, do you understand me?"

-he didn't mean to sound so harsh, only stern. but if it got the point across, it didn't matter much to him.

-"now, tell me, why is it you do this?"

-he listens closely as you open up to him. he'll make you feel better, one way or another.

Underswap:

Sans:

-he knew something was off about you. what it was, though, he couldn't quite figure out.

-so, he asked you.

-"it's nothing," you had said. "nothing you need to worry about."

-"but don't you trust me?" he asked.

-that made you hesitate.

-a few days later, you told him. you didn't show him, but you told him.

-"but why would you do that to yourself? you are amazing, human! you have so much good in you. can't you see that? can't you see that you don't deserve it?"

-but you told him that you didn't know what he saw. you didn't see the good in you. and you're you! don't you know yourself best?

-he started listing off your great qualities, arguing with you when you wondered what the fuck he was going on about.

-he vowed that, no matter how long it took, he would make you see yourself as worthy again.

-but until then, he just made you promise to stop.

Papyrus:

-he had his suspicions for a while.

-the way you always wore long sleeves, no matter how hot it was.

-how distant you were, never telling anybody how you felt.

-he knew something was going on. so, he decided to see if his suspicions were true.

-it took a little coaxing, but you confirmed them. you were, in fact, self harming.

-he (like Fell Sans) also used to self harm. and he told you that.

-he asks you why, and he listens carefully as you tell him.

-he rubs your back from his position next to you on his couch as he says, "i need you to stop, okay? i understand it's going to be hard. i understand that it feels like you have to. but you can't, okay? you just can't. only once you stop can you start feeling better about yourself."

-he takes whatever you use away from you, and watched you closely, occasionally asking you to let him look for more scars.

[youre-a-total--poser]

Hey i was wondering if you write about mental illness? If so could you write a fic where Nat(mother figure) starts to notice that the teen reader isn’t eating as much and is losing weight. So she she confronts the reader and reader denies it and as weeks go by nat is trying to make reader eat but reader says their is nothing wrong with her. Also reader goes to school and peter also starts to notice so he tells nat cuz she is like the readers mom so then nat has enough and tells the team and they have an intervention and help the reader. I was thinking that the reader would be like an orphan and joined the avengers at 12 cuz they were a widow that nat recused so nat is like a mother figure and you can decide if peter and her are love interests. I totally understand if you dont want to write this it would just really help me a lot. Thanks!!!

Let Us Help You (Request)

Warnings: Eating Disorders and all the things relating to that Age: 15 Word Count: 2,050 Requests: Open Summary: Read the request and it will explain everything Requested by: Annonomys on Tumblr. I hope everything is okay my messages are always open if you or anyone else wants to talk. Date: 19/11/2023 A/N: I'm back at least I think I'm back I haven't really decided yet. I had a lot of stuff to deal with from starting college and life that I wanted to deal with first.

Sorry if this is terrible it's the first time that I've written anything in months so just bear with me while I get back into it.

I've opened the requests again so if anyone sent in a request from before can you send it in again

Masterlist

---⧗---

From the age of two, you were taken away from your parents and were trained in the Red Room. Up until the age of 14 killing, pain, fighting and hunger were all that you knew that was until Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova destroyed the Red Room and rescued you and the other girls who were there.

Since you were the youngest Natasha didn't know what do to with you so she ended up taking you back to the Avengers compound with her.

An agreement was made and they allowed you to stay with them. Everyone was nice to you and they tried their hardest to get you to open up to them but nothing really worked the only person who actually succeeded was Natasha.

She understood exactly what you went through since she went through the exact same thing. She helped you through the nightmares and the panic attacks.

After many months Natasha discovered that your parents perished in a terrible fire and you were an orphan now.

You were sad when you heard the news but not enough for it to have a major impact on your life since you couldn't even remember them besides it's not like you were alone you had Natasha and all the other Avengers taking care of you.

---⧗---

It was nearly 3 years since you were rescued from the Red Room and you still weren't used to your newfound freedom. You were living in a space place, had access to unlimited food, were allowed to go outside whenever you wanted and you even attended school.

Because you were allowed to eat whatever and whenever you wanted you gained quite a bit of weight. You planned to gain weight but not as much as what you were now and it wasn't until that when you, Steve and Sam went on a run and you couldn't even keep up with Sam anymore you knew that it was time for a change.

You didn't tell Natasha or anyone else about your new weight loss journey because you knew that they would tell you that you didn't need to lose any weight.

You started looking online for the most effective diets for teens but they all looked like they would be too much work so you decided that not eating and training all the time would be the quickest way to lose weight.

---⧗---

The first 2 days of your new weight loss journey went by fine. You pretended to be late for school so no one would question why you were only eating half a slice of toast. You didn't eat lunch at school then Natasha asked what you wanted for dinner you told her that you ate on your way home from school

It was going on 7 pm you made your way down to the gym and told Natasha that you were bored as an excuse to join in with hers and Steve's training session.

You originally thought that the weekends would be much harder to skip meals but after you forced yourself to eat two slices of toast so no one would question anything you told Natasha that you were going to Peter's so you both could work on homework together.

You were at Peters's for hours and when his aunt asked if you wanted to stay for dinner you told her that Natasha was taking you out for dinner later and when you got home you told Natasha that you had dinner at Peter's

---⧗---

A few months have passed and things obviously have been terrible maybe not all terrible but the majority of it has been.

---⧗---

It has finally become noticeable that you have lost so much weight and girls at school have been giving you compliments about how good you look. Those compliments instantly cancel out all the bad stuff that has been happening. Lying to your friends and family about what you're eating, all the headaches and dizzy spells, collapsing when you went on a run with Steve and the most embarrassing one of all when you passed out in gym class.

You only made it halfway through the school day before you had to go to the nurse since you had a bad headache and you were feeling so dizzy.

The school nurse phoned home and Natasha came and picked you up

You were told that Natasha was here and you made your way outside and over to her car. She didn't look happy maybe because it's been nearly every day for weeks that someone has had to come pick you up halfway through the school day.

She's been so distracted with work lately that she hasn't actually noticed that you haven't been eating and you've lost so much weight no one at home has really noticed and if they have they haven't said anything.

Before you could even get fully in the car she started interrogating you.

"What going on?" She asked.

"Nothing." You responded while putting on your seatbelt.

"Well, it must be something otherwise you wouldn't be asking to come home early every day. Just because I've been busy with work doesn't mean that I don't know what you've been doing"

"It's nothing." you sighed.

Natasha shook her head and then turned off the engine. "we're not moving till you tell me what's going on with you."

You covered your face with your hands. "honestly it's nothing please just take me home I'm tired and everything hurts."

She was going to say something but stopped herself then turned back on the engine and drove you home.

As soon as you got home you went right to your room got changed and went to sleep.

---⧗---

While Natasha was waiting for you to wake up from your nap she was sitting in the common room with her laptop on her lap working on mission reports.

A figure appeared next to her and she thought it was you at first but when she looked up it was Peter.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Ms Romanoff," Peter said nervously.

"It's okay Peter," Natasha said closing her laptop. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just came here to check on Y/N. My Aunt made her some soup since she's been skipping lunch every day at school and she's probably not eaten anything today."

"She's been skipping lunch?" Natasha asked standing up.

"Yeah, and I don't think that it's just lunch whenever she's over at my house she always makes excuses about how she can't stay for dinner."

It broke Natasha's heart when she heard that the young girl who she saw as her daughter was doing this to herself. Natasha wished that she could take these last few months back and notice what was going on and help you.

"Thanks, Peter, I'll go check on her," Natasha replied then headed to your room.

She quietly sneaked into your room but you were still asleep. She saw your phone lying on your bedside table and started looking through it something that she had never done before and thought that she would never do but it was the only way that she could get answers.

As she looked through your phone there was so many app that was meant for dieting and calorie counting, lots of YouTube videos about dieting and countless Google searches about it too.

Natasha started tearing up she knew that she had to do whatever she could to help you before it became too late and she really hoped that it wasn't already too late.

---⧗---

When you woke up it was nearly 6 pm. You went downstairs to get some water and noticed that everyone was in the common room like they were having some sort of meeting.

"What's going on?" You asked walking closer to everyone.

"Come sit down," Natasha said patting the empty spot beside her.

You sat down beside Natasha and instantly felt everyone's eyes on you.

Natasha gently took your hands in her and held them tightly. "We just want you to know that we're not mad or disappointed we just want to help you," Natasha said softly

You looked around at everyone's concerned faces. "Okay," you replied, still unsure of what exactly was going on.

"Sweetie I know that we I mean that I've been busy lately and I haven't been around much to notice what you're going through," Natasha said

"What are you talking about Nat? I'm fine, I don't have any problems," you say quickly, hoping to brush off her worries and hide away from the situation.

"Sweetie, I know it's hard, but you don't have to lie to us. We know that you're skipping meals. There's no denying that something is going on, and we only want to help you get better."

"I'm not lying, Nat! I'm just busy with school and essays and don't have time to eat like I used to. I don't have any problems, I don't need your help, leave me alone!" You shouted while standing up.

Natasha stands up and takes hold of your hands, them very tightly. "We know you've been struggling, and we're here to support you through this. You don't have to keep pretending or hiding from us, we just want to help."

Tears started forming in your eyes "I want to stop but I can't those girls at school think being thin is cool. They started becoming my friends when I started losing weight. I don't want to lose them as friends."

"Y/N you shouldn't be friends with people who made you do things like that to yourself you deserve better friends," Wanda says.

"just stop you all don't understand what it's like to be a teenage girl in high school." You shouted

You went to walk away but wanda grabbed your arm "Y/N, we may not have the same exact experiences as you, but that doesn't mean we can't help you. We've been through a lot and know how hard it is to deal with challenges and trauma, and we want to be there for you and help you through this. You don't have to go through this alone, and we're all here to support you."

You tried to hold the tears back, you tried to stay strong so that they would forget all of this and you could go back and hide in your room but you just couldn't any longer the feeling was building up inside of you desperate to get out and it all came out at once.

"It's all just too much! I can't handle this anymore, I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of being in pain and feeling like I'm never enough. I don't know how to stop, I just want the pain to go away."

Natasha wrapped her arms around you and held you tightly. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get you the help that you need and everything is going to be okay I promise." She said softly

---⧗--- Nearly a year had passed and things are better than they've ever been. You have been going to therapy and support groups and though at first, you thought that they would do nothing to help you they ended up making such a huge difference in your life. They would give out special rewards for weight gain and they would bring in people who were going through what you were going through and they would talk about their experience and what helped them be the person they were today.

With every single person that came into talk, you felt so inspired by them and you knew that change can become possible and it did.

You were also invited to be a speaker and you hoped to also inspire other kids.

You were also moved into a different school which made you much happier. You made so many new friends who cared about you and not about your number on the scale or your dress size.

The only thing that you missed about your old school was being there with Peter. Even though you still saw him every day after school it was still strange not to see him in the classroom but it didn't matter your friendship was as strong as ever and that was all that mattered.

[sawyer-is-eepy]

goodbye campfire fest!!

this has been so so much fun- i'm so happy i got to be able to be a part of this wonderful event with so many talented artists and writers- it's been so beautiful seeing everyone's interpretations and writing and i've loved seeing everyone come together to create something unique. being so excited to open tumblr everyday and see what people's contributions are has been the highlight of my days this week, and it's so cool to me that i can be a part of this for the first event, and even though it was a teensy bit stressful, i'm so glad i've been able to hit all the prompts.

i can't wait to see what people might post during late submissions!! gonna keep checking every day to see. I've found many new talented artists and writers I had never seen before through this event, you all are seriously so nice and have been so sweet to me and to each other, this event has made me so happy.

I can't wait to see more from all of you. happy fest and much love!

@outerwilds-events

some more doodles(base game and eote spoilers) + random sappy rambling (positive vent?) below cut

some other random doodles from this weekend <3

yes I gave prisoner ears. I'm sorry I'm too much of a furry for this fandom aha

on a serious note, this fandom and this game have been my favorite thing about this year so far. Seriously, I was actually having a really tough couple months around the start of this year. I was dealing with a really really toxic friend in November and December and I was struggling to get over them. I was having a hard time letting go of my hurt and of the memory of them and our friendship- I was hurt and angry and I missed how great it was in the beginning. It was really tough for me, I didn't have any way to distract myself and I didn't have a way to let out my feelings. I felt stuck and trapped with a horrible memory and I didn't have the motivation to let it go. Then comes along this silly little game, that I remembered trying to play forever ago. I decided that I should probably try to play it again, and god it was the best decision I've ever made. This game, it has brought me so so much joy. I finally felt like I was able to let go and learn to move on and just enjoy the good memories while still remembering that they're in the past and while I can't change what happened, I can look forward to the future and hope. this game helped me cope with the grief, it helped me learn how to take care of myself and recover. It affected me so much in many ways, I will never ever forget it. This community has also brought me so much happiness, I've met so many wonderful and kind people, and I've became friends with some really cool people(one person in particular has been especially swaggers, you know who you are you weirdo /affectionate /plat). campfire fest has been great and I'm glad I got to be a part of it!! When I was thinking of what to draw for today, all I could think of was the immense amount of support I've received and given, and seen being passed around. So I figured it should be something to express that love!! Much love, and goodbye to campfire fest!! Can't wait to do this again next year <333

[yynumaki]

hey, im new to tumblr and i didn't that there was a request section on a persons profile so i commented a request, sorry about that lol. but maybe aidan gallagher x reader where they have anxiety and really dont like loud rooms/too many people and one day the two are on a date and she asks to go outside bc its to loud and they go outside where she starts crying and apologizing for always being so antisocial? really just fluff and socially anxious reader? you dont have to if you dont want to, thanks! :)

A/N:Thanks for the req, sorry if I cant meet your expectations, I'm pretty busy lately but hope you enjoy. Also welcome to tumblr 🥳

Everything was supposed to be perfect.

Aidan asked you out on a date on the new restaurant that just opened up a few weeks ago; Apparently its already getting hundreds of amazing reviews by the second, so he decided to get a table reserved there for the both of you to celebrate your 3rd year anniversary.

You've picked out the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, and you woke up with glowing skin which just added the cheery on top.

Though the only problem was, you didn't think there'd be this much people here.

You felt like everyone was staring at you, that everyone was judging you, but in reality they were all just minding their own business.

You were punching yourself because you were feeling it all over again, the sweatiness, the shaking, the heavy breathing. You felt spiralled.

“Hey..” Aidan asked calmly, “Are you feeling ok love?”

“Yeah—” you said in a hush tone.

Before he could even say another word you felt the room and everyone's eyes closing in on you.

“Sorry” you whispered before rushing out

Aidan spared no second thought and rushed out to catch you. When he exited the restaurant, he saw you walking away quickly while holding your arms shakily as you cried, he caught up to you fairly fast.

“Y/n” he yelled, loud enough for you to hear but not so loud that he'd get the attention of others.

You faced him, lips shaking, your cheeks soaked with tears, and your mascara smudged.

He gently held your arms as his eyes was filled with worry.

“What happened?” he asked,

“Im sorry—” you said as tears were starting to brim your eyes once more, “Im so sorry, I'm so sorry....” you continued as he hugged you.

“It was all supposed to be perfect” you held him tighter, gripping his waist to hold him closer.

“Its not tour fault sweetheart ” he hushed, lightly pulling away from your hug to wipe your stained cheeks, “Your anxiety just got the best of you, but its not your fault, I should've booked a restaurant that had kore privacy ” he sighed.

“No Aidan” you responded, “You were so thoughtful for what you did, its just that I wish I didn't have this mental stuff” you sniffed, “It keeps ruining things”

“Dont blame yourself” he quickly responded in a serious yet calm manner, “Never blame yourself, you hear me?”

You nodded as he kissed your forehead and walked you to your car.

The same night, you went back home to your shared apartment.

While Aidan was dressing out of his suit, you thought that you could atleast make it up to him by having a dinner date at home, so while he was in the shower, you decided to bake his favourite meal and dessert.

He always showered for atleast an hour so that gave you enough time to finish mid way through so he couldn't just ask you to stop and go to bed with him.

When he went downstairs, he was greeted with a stench that made his stomach grumble.

“Whats all this?” he smiled as he walked to hug you from behind.

“Dinner" you responded sweetly, “Im going to make it up to you you know” you said declaratively.

“You dont need to make up for anything sweetheart” he kissed your cheek, “Having you is all that I need”

“So you want me to stop cooking?”

“Now I didn't say that” he laughed,

“Your so cheesy Mr.Gallagher” you joked,

“Only for you Mrs.Gallagher”

“Were not married love”

"Not yet"

[tomatoswup]

Thanks for answering! My ask is gonna contain spoilers for Trigun Maximum. And I'm writing this again cuz tumblr hates me.

Could you write about Vash and his romantic partner reuniting after Wolfwood helps him escape from the Ark? The blanket he's wrapped in is big enough for two and he needs to be held ngl especially after being held for so many months.

Home

warnings/tags: Manga Spoilers,,,angst,,,hurt/comfort,,reunion,, poor Vash :(,,, i think i made this sadder than it was suppose to be,,, I'M SORRY ANON I'M JUST DRAMATIC,,,Vulnerable Vash,,, it's okay reader and vash cry it out together 🥹,,, i was listening to The Cure while writing this i swear i was INFLUENCED.

A/N: ....im so sorry anON NFLKSNLKSNDKNSD,,,, hEARTWRENCHING STUFF I KNOW😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry on this late request tho!!!! I was everywhere for the past few weeks away from home but I'm slowly getting back into the rhythm of writing again (also recovering from my mini writers block) Oh how the world knows I love writing gut wrenching stuff hehehehe... Enjoy~🫶

There were times you wished life was...normal. Why couldn't you have fallen in love with someone else?

To spare yourself from those sobbing nights, save yourself from breaking your head over a problematic man like him. But those butterflies and baskets of pastries said otherwise to your heart, and the kind nature of his that just brought you in deeper and deeper.

Life was never so simple was it?

You never did like it that way anyways.

And perhaps after spending so much time with him, with them, that it made you stray away from that idea of something "normal" that you had imagined so long ago. When you did, he was always in it.

But no matter who it is, or who had done what, No Man's land spared no mercy for the weak, for the strong, or for those who just simply wanted to love.

And those long days felt like a nightmare you had wanted to wake up from.

7 months since the spiky haired goofball of your boyfriend had danced his way into your kitchen, calling out your name as you couldn't help but chuckle at the way he playfully pranced around, tapping the tops of your shoulders with his fingers.

"Hey you didn't have to wait for me ya' know!" He beamed, a twinkle in his eye as you set food down on the wooden table. "Vash you know I'll always wait for you."

"I knoww~ But I don't deserv-"

"Don't! Say what I think you were gonna say." You huffed out, having brought out a box from the side and putting it on the table "You deserve more than you think. Now cmon, I passed by the bakery and got some pastries and donuts. You said you liked the normal ones right? They were kinda pricy but I still-"

Vash momentarily droned out what you were saying, eyeing the way you moved, the faint blush on your soft cheeks as the heels of your shoes sounded out against the wooden floor boards under your feet.

Caring, smooth, quick.

The corners of his mouth lifted up, smiling from the curious gaze he had given you, eyes crinkling at the edges as he gave himself a playful nod in affirmation before sneaking up behind you.

Muah!

The quick kiss he gave you on the cheek snapped you out of your rambling, as his clothed arms snaked around your waist in a warm embrace.

"Thank you love..."

7 months since you had come back from town, having gotten things you needed, that you stood in the hot, dry sand. With a basket in hand, you looked up at your porch from a bit away. Spotting Wolfwood, you had instinctively raised your hand to greet the priest before holding your voice back. Something was wrong.

Very wrong. And you had a gut feeling it was gonna be a while.

The disheveled and dirtied state he was in and his cross laid out beside him as the knuckles of his cut-up hands were close to knocking on your door before he slowly turned towards you, having heard your steps in the sand.

Onyx eyes full of gloom, regret, and...

Your blood went cold, feeling a knife stab right into your stomach as you just stood there. The realization dawning upon you, eyes slowly widening at the prospective of what had come about of your lover.

May the world please bring him back to you. Please let Knives spare mercy on these two sides of a battlefield that he shared against his brother. The deserts had gone quiet again, your basket laid forgotten in the sand as nights came and gone.

Let Vash come home.

An aching eternity it felt like, some days you went staring at his empty chair at the dinner table, or whenever you helped up on the floating ship, imagining the ghost of a laugh he would let out whenever he saw the residents aboard.

It was tiring, and those restless nights thinking about what his brother was doing to him, those treacherous thoughts were ones you feared.

But the day Milly and Meryl had knocked on your door with the news that Vash was back home, away from The Ark, was one that you would never forget. How could you?

With how you scrambled around the house, you hadn't noticed how fast your legs hauled you over to the ship when you had been close to dry heaving, finally standing in front of one metallic door to the many rooms it held.

He's here!

Vash is back! He's- He's-

You tried to catch your breath, a sweaty hand on your chest as the voices behind the door faintly sounded out, making the depths of your body churn in worry and nervousness.

Shit, maybe you should've given him some time to recover. Did you act a bit too quickly? But after all of these months... You should let him rest-

"Ah!" You squawked out, hastily taking a few steps back as the door swung right open, revealing a tightly bundled up Wolfwood as he stepped out, shutting the door right behind him before shooting you a calm gaze.

"Ya know, I'm surprised you didn't just run right in. Blondie even cleared the room out before you got here." Passing by you, you couldn't help but watch as he began his stride down the hall.

Wait.

"WOLFWOOD!" You called out, making him stop in his tracks as he turned his head to the side.

"Thank you. I don't how to repay y-"

Letting out a big sigh to cut you off, he scratched the side of his head "You ain't repayin' me shit, just get in there already. I'll catch up later.."

What kind of man would Wolfwood be to keep two lovers apart anyways?

'A sinful man I would be...' He pondered for just a moment before leaving you behind, leaving you alone to take his word. And with sweaty palms, you indeed did, putting a hand on the cold metallic door knob, turning and pushing it open.

With cold air hitting the surface of your face, you noted the large coffee table and couches in the room, mugs and plates scattered around as you took a few more steps inside. Signs of life...

"You're okay..." You heard a voice say out, making you whip your head to the right and being met with another blanketed bundle of man sat on the couch. But how couldn't you recognize that soft gaze of blue, the messy blonde hair and pink slippers on his scarred feet? Vash tiredly smiled up at you, tilting his head to the side as he looked you up and down.

God how could he smile after so much?

His pink cheeks had sullen, the purple bags under his eyes prominent as the exhaustion was obvious, but he kept that same kind smile after everything he had gone through.

How?

How?

"You look goo- WOAH!" He gaped out in surprise, quickly throwing his arms wide open to catch your figure as you threw yourself at him and into a tight hug, pushing the both of you guys back onto the olden couch.

And before you knew it, the both of you had cuddled up against each other on said couch as you held Vash's head up against your chest, the pads of your fingers soothing the side of his cheek as you rested your chin on top of his head.

"Oh Vash..." You quivered, trying hold back the tears in your eyes as you felt his arms around your waist tighten, the blanket the two of you had been wrapped in rustling as he brought himself in closer.

The weight on his chest hurt, and it felt so heavy.

"I'm sorry." He choked out as you felt tads of wetness on your shirt, his sobs filling the emptiness of the air as his rough hands gripped the back of your shirt in desperation.

It didn't matter how hot the bare skin of his chest felt under the blanket, nor did it matter if the elbows and knees of his body ached and the spine of his back felt like needles.

You're the closest to comfort and peace he's had in the last 7 months, and he couldn't let you go.

"Don't apologize. I..I don't think you really know how happy I am to have you back." You cried, finally broking down, leaving kisses on the top of his head as he continued to wail against your chest "I would've been so lost..."

'You felt like home.' And you always did. Vash shut his eyes as the two of you stayed entangled together for the next few hours.

Having cried, talked about what had happened in the last 7 months, and the future before drifting off to sleep on the very couch.

Under the blanket of love, did two lovers finally reunite before the tribulations that had occurred and were to come.

"I love you."

//

"I would've been so lost, because you felt like home."

[windslar]

That's right. I'm back.

Explanation under the cut (TW: pregnancy, abortion, loss)

I know I dropped off the face of simblr without explanation, and for that, I'm sorry. A lot of things happened in March -- around the time of the Growing Together release. I remember thinking how timely is it for infants to come to the game just as I learned we were going to be a family of three.

Long story short, I found out I was pregnant in February, which was a very exciting time as my husband and I felt it was the right time. Truthfully, I became less interested in the game and so much more absorbed in reading and learning all about pregnancy and motherhood. Sims just kind of faded (as it does for many people) as my life began to change.

Many times I felt compelled to come back to explain the situation but as more time passed, the more I felt like it was unnecessary. I didn't think anyone was really going to care, despite the fact that a small number of people did reach out in my inbox (thank you). I figured one day, I'd come back and be like, "surprise! I had a baby!"

But that won't be happening. At least not any time soon.

At my 20-week scan, there were concerning findings. Multiple ultrasounds and procedures later, we had a few reassuring results only to be hit with a rare diagnosis that had severe impacts on the baby's viability at birth.

We chose to terminate the pregnancy. It was the most difficult decision despite knowing it was the right decision for my family. I had grown to love our baby and pictured our lives together. We had told close friends and family. We bought a stroller and a baby carrier. We got gifted some hand-me-down clothes for our baby girl. I had never imagined something so devastating and traumatic could happen to us especially so late into the pregnancy. It felt so unfair. So cruel.

It's been a rough couple of months. The anxiety and depression were at an all-time high. I have been off work for a little bit so I've had more free time, which is not ideal in terms of my mind constantly thinking about our loss, but the time is also kind of necessary for me to heal. In the last two weeks, I revisited the game and started playing casually again, but also lurking more and more here on tumblr. I do miss it. And I think part of the fun of playing the game is sharing my gameplay and interacting with the people in this community. It's one of the few things right now that's keeping my mind from falling into the deep pits of depression.

So yes. I'm depressed and I play the sims to escape the depressing reality of my life (right now). Don't worry, I have other supports elsewhere to help me cope; but in the ~alone times~ this game is keeping me from crying in bed all day so I count that as a win.

Now that that's out there. Please don't ask me any further questions or details about the whole thing, partly because I don't need to relive the sadness any more than I do, and partly to avoid providing any more (potentially) identifying information. I just want to move on and enjoy this safe-ish space the way I used to, and I hope that you can welcome me back with open arms.

[call-me-copycat]

I'm so mad! I saved the ask sent to me, but it disappeared when I went to check on it! I do hope they know that I finished it, but now I'll make sure to screenshot every ask when I get them so this doesn't happen again!

Hello and thank you for your request! Please don't ever worry about being too much, I love writing complex stories, they're my favorite!

I'm very sorry this is so late, I've been rather busy for awhile, but lately I've been cranking out as much writing as I can! I sat down and wrote for 4 straight hours, so I'm sorry if it feels a little rushed!

Also, I don't know if it's okay with you or not, but I made it a little horror themed, it's not the main theme, but it's still there in case you didn't want that (๑////๑)

Please feel free to pop by and request whenever you'd like! It makes my day! (ृ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ृ )

♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡°°°♡ ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• ♡

Declaration of Distortion

Welcome! - Introduction and request rules (if you want me to write for you, or if you want to know who I am)

▶ Characters: Mentor Aizawa & Gender-Neutral Reader (platonic) + Shinso & GN Reader (platonic)

▶Genre: A little bit of horror+ some fluff sprinkled around

▶ Summary: A courageous reader with striking white wings and a powerful quirk falls victim to a malicious mushroom spore quirk. Along with many others, they are ruthlessly mind controlled and forced to battle numerous heroes, and their own mentor Aizawa, a formidable hero in his own right.

▶ Warnings:

- Some body horror if you think about it

- Unconsented Mind Control (Not Shinso)

- Decay/Rotting flesh (for a moment at the end)

- Blood/Wounds (Not too graphic)

- Paranoia/Mental Instability

- Infection due to process of a quirk

- Per the request, the reader has wings

- While there is no romance, there is still platonic love

▶ Word Count: 15,420

(The Mother of all my stories. My phone/Tumblr crashed a total of 13 times while trying to post this. In case you didn't know I only have a budget phone that works similar to a brick)

"Ready... Start!"

Upon hearing Eraserhead's signal, both you and Shinso lunged forward at the same time, fully content with the goal to bring the other down.

It was a muggy day, the clouds always filling the sky and casting their shadows over the little seaside town. Wet droplets of the previous night's rain still clung to the blades of grass that you all were training on.

Aizawa had recently taken you under his wing alongside Shinso, and had been training the both of you excessively for the past few weeks in order to prepare the two of you to join alongside him during patrol. He was being extra cautious, as he knew that underground hero work was much more hazardous and unpredictable compared to regular hero work, and he wasn't going to lose either of his students.

Worried for the both of your guy's safety, Aizawa wanted to implement extra training and taught you many techniques in case things were to ever go south, too filled with paranoia to recognize the signs of exhaustion the two of you were dealing with due to the extra work.

Watching the both of you train with stern eyes, Aizawa was beginning to notice large improvements, not just in one but in the both of you. Shinso no longer went straight ahead when fighting or throwing a punch, and you no longer tripped over your wings nearly as much as when you first began.

The wings were your entire quirk, and oddly enough you didn't really use them to fly (no matter how much you trained, you struggled to stay aloft), but they were rather a mix of offense and defense. Large and white, they had the ability to solidify into metal, creating a sort of shield to protect you and others if needed, and- in a similar manner to Hawk's quirk- the individual feathers had the ability to shoot off as projectiles. Although they weren't nearly as sharp at his, they still gave a nasty sting as they flew with the speed and force similar to that of a bullet.

Currently, Aizawa was having you both train on hand to hand combat without the use of quirks (although you didn't believe it was all that fair at Shinso was allowed to use his metal staff). The reason being Aizawa wanted to check up on the progress the two of you were making, wanting to determine the place you were at so he could adjust future training lessons accordingly.

As soon as Aizawa gave his order, Shinso lunged and swung his staff at you immediately, trying to catch you off guard. It was in vain however as you tilted your head to the side which made him miss, combined with the fact that you had to swerve your body to the side as well to dodge his additional kicks.

Frustrated, he swung his leg up at your head, and in an act of panic you grabbed onto his ankle to keep it from making contact. This in turn caused you to fall to the ground on your stomach as he lowered his foot, and you nearly got jabbed with his staff as he stabbed it down at you like he did earlier.

You went to attempt to stand up again, as it was commonly known that whoever was on the ground was most vulnerable. Shinso knew this as well, and fought to keep you down by putting his staff under your leg and flipping you over and onto your back so he could gain the upper hand, since if you were on your stomach then your wings would protect you and only serve to get in the way. Irritated, you tried jumping up onto your legs, only for your jump to be interrupted by him swinging his staff at your head, which kept your upper torso on the ground as you needed to dodge, while your legs were bent in a sort of crab-walk pose.

*Kind of like this (this is what I went off of)

Contorting your body so the staff wouldn't make contact (you knew from personal experiences that it hurt severely), you moved to the side as he lunged at you again with the staff, and this time you grabbed it to keep him from moving it. When he went to pull it out of your grasp, you clung on and used it to your avantage to get up from the ground again, the extra weight on the end of the staff causing Shinso to lose his grip. Throwing away the staff so Shinso couldn't get it, you looked directly at him (trying not to laugh at his exasperated expression), and the two of you went to lunge at each other again, but right before the either of you could get a hit in you both instantly halted as Aizawa blew his whistle, indicating he had seen enough and that the exercise was over.

You had both succeeded Aizawa's expectations, and so he decided that you two were ready to accompany him on his patrol. Although paranoia still clung to his thoughts, Aizawa knew that you were well trained enough to protect yourselves in case of an accident. He had seen the effort that you two put in when it came to surpassing his training checkpoints he made when it came to teaching the both of you, and he certainly wasn't going to turn a blind eye to the sheer exhaustion that you suffered since you were pushing yourselves.

On the walk back to the dorms, Aizawa began to explain what things you and Shinso should expect when it came time for the mission. As he listed off the numerous precautions and emergency procedures, you couldn't help but get lost inside your own mind, the beauty of the post-storm environment radiating a calm tone.

The sun was beginning to set as it was late in the evening, you all had been training together as soon as school was let out, and in a way you were grateful that the weekend was tomorrow (although you knew chances were you might end up training even more).

The golden rays of the lowering sun were making their way through the numerous plants and buildings that filled the UA campus, everything glittering with a lovely shine from surfaces that were still wet with drops that were caused from the recent storms that had been going on lately. Birds made their way overhead every now and then, and the air was quiet and calm, the only sounds filling the air being Eraserhead's monotonous voice and the light steps the each of you took.

You were currently balancing on the slightly higher edge of the sidewalk, hanging your arms out to the side in the shape of a "T" to help you balance further as you walked and listened intently to Aizawa speak. Shinso was walking beside you, grumbling to himself everytime your wings got in his face (you knew he didn't mean any harm- besides, you liked messing with the guy).

As Aizawa continued the mundane speech about hero safety and villain techniques to look out for, something he said caught your attention.

"- of course, a student isn't expected to completely fix the situation themselves, but it is worth noting that all student interns are given high expectations. Now that that's out of the way, let me explain the mission that we're going to be looking for."

Aizawa turned to look behind him at the two of you, face hardened and serious. The once light-hearted mood plummeted and took a more solemn face instead, and you hopped down from where you were standing, going beside Shinso.

"This case is more of a serious one compared to what the others are working on. Lately, I'm sure you've heard from the news about the numerous missing people, yes?"

Upon reviving two silent nods, Aizawa continued, arms crossed and fatigue pressuring him persistently.

"Now, we don't know anything about what these missing people have in common, only that they were by themselves and didn't arrive back where they were heading. Another thing they all had in common was the fact that they disappeared away from any witnesses and cameras, meaning that whoever is behind this knows what they're doing and is actively planning it out."

Shinso raised his hand, speaking right after Aizawa paused.

"When I saw that case on the news, didn't they say that all the victims had some kind of strong quirk? Maybe-"

Aizawa cut him off, shaking his head.

"Sorry, but that's just a rumor. Looking over each of their files showed that most had weak quirks, with only a small handful having semi-useful quirks. Some were even quirkless, so that crosses out that idea."

When you thought back on it, you realized that you had indeed saw a news report on this particular case, but it was so vaguely described that you didn't really see any difference in it from the other numerous cases that had happened in the past. Nothing really stood out to you, and you were surprised that Shinso had even paid attention enough to remember it.

"We thought it was a lost cause, with cases popping up randomly without pattern and without a targeted victim, it was nearly impossible to try and get close to solving it. But recently, a woman that had fallen victim to this mystery fortunately had a tracker implanted behind her ear since she was prone to wandering off because of her unstable mental state." Aizawa paused, letting you both take in the info since he was worried he was coming off too fast.

"So that means... We can track down the woman.." you began.

"And possibly find out where the others might be as well." Shinso finished for you.

"Bingo. Tomorrow, get plenty of rest during the day because we'll be starting as soon as the sun sets, and my work schedule is often unpredictable and can leave us working throughout the night and until the sun rises again. I'll explain what we'll be doing beforehand, and feel free to ask any questions if you have them. Better safe than sorry."

When you made you way back to the dorms, it finally hit you. You were finally going on your first mission tomorrow! Too filled with nerves and excitement, dinner was one of the last things crossing your mind as you went up to your room instead, politely greeting your classmates beforehand.

You stayed up most of the night contemplating on what might happen, and what things you might run into. Sleep was non-existent, and you wanted to make sure that you were mentally prepared and to especially make sure you wouldn't slow everyone down. Shinso and Aizawa were rather talented at keeping themselves hidden in the shadows, but you struggled to keep of up with their abilities at times, your wings that normally held you up high being the thing that slowed you down and limited your abilities.

With newfound determination, you took to the internet to look up how others in the world delt with their wings, as it was pretty common to run into someone with some type of them, always a little different from each other. You found a few online blogs that helped you understand the limits and anatomy of wings, but none that specifically stated how to sneak around with them. Regardless, you still were going to help in any way you could, and so all night you stayed up preparing.

It wasn't until an alarm went off on your phone that you realized it was morning, and when you went to open your curtains a bright stream of sunlight hit you directly in the eyes, cementing your realization. Since you spent all night awake, your body and mind were both exhausted from the intense training and lack of rest. After eating a quick meal and greeting your classmates once more, you finally succumbed to sleep, allowing yourself to fly away in the dark depths of your mind.

"Bzzt..."

"Bzzt..."

"Bzzt..."

Grumbling, you opened your eyes to be greeted with nothing but pitch black darkness. For a quick second, you almost went back to sleep as you thought you set your alarm incorrectly, only to immediately jump up at the realization.

A quick knock on your door further helped you remember what was planned, and Shinso's voice spoke up right after.

"Turn off your damn alarm, it's been going off for ages. Also Sensei said he wants you to get ready 'cause we're leaving in an hour."

And with that you concluded that he must have left, before scrambling for your phone to turn off the repeating tune coming out of it.

After getting into your hero outfit and grabbing your duffle bag full of supplies, you left your room and went down to the common room in search of Shinso. Once you made your way down there, you instantly saw Shinso and Aizawa both already there, Aizawa sitting on the couch and Shinso standing in front of him, both holding a conversation that came to a slow when you came into the picture.

Embarrassment rushed through you as you began to think that you were the last one finished and that they were both waiting on you this whole time.

"Sorry if I'm late, I didn't know we were supposed to get up earlier. It won't happen again."

Aizawa cocked an eyebrow, "You're not late? You and Shinso are both on time. That gives us enough time to prepare and possibly get some breakfast in the both of you since you're still children who don't just run on a stale cup of coffee like me."

Ah, that made a little more sense, Shinso must've just finished up a bit earlier than you did. You blamed your awkward conversation on your nerves, not knowing how to get them to calm down.

"I know a good shop around here that's still open, it's run by an old friend of mine, so he'd know why we're there since I've been going there before going on patrol or on a mission since I first started."

You and Shinso nodded again, and as you all walked out of the dorms Aizawa began to catch on to your nervousness. Leaning over so he could get closer to you, you noticed this and listened.

"You know, Shinso's just as nervous as you are. He just doesn't show it since he's worried about coming off as weak." Aizawa whispered to you in an attempt to reassure you. Your eyes widened at this and looked at Shinso who was walking ahead of you two, completely oblivious to the conversation.

"Don't worry about a thing, kid. I've seen you train, you'll be okay", Aizawa reassured, patting a firm hand on your shoulder before walking off to lead you all.

This news helped you understand that you weren't the odd one out, and your nervous thoughts calmed down a little upon realizing this.

After waking for a bit, you and Shinso were brought to a little food stand, being run by only a single elderly man. Upon noticing Aizawa and the two of you behind him, you noticed his face light up.

"Shota! How are you, my old friend?", Turning to look behind Aizawa, the man took a glance at you and Shinso standing behind him. "And who are these little ones that follow you like a duckling would to their mother?"

He had a warm, friendly smile, and didn't seem the slightest bit tired when compared to the dark night sky. Though he spoke with a bit of an accent, you found that he was still easy to understand.

"They're students of mine. We're going on a mission soon and they needed something to eat."

Once again, slight embarrassment caused you to warm as it sounded like Aizawa was referring to little children when speaking about the two of you even though he's seen the work you put in to train. Turning to Shinso, you noticed that he was unbothered, simply scanning the little sign that advertised all the foods that the man made with a look of disinterest.

"Oh, yes! Young ones need to eat, it's very important! I'll make something for them, know anything you'd like?"

"I'm good."

And with that, you followed Shinso and sat down next to him on a bench that was placed behind the food stand.

After getting some warm soup to fill your stomaches, Aizawa led you to his office at a special institute for underground heroes, seeing as he never bothered in getting an agency of his own even though he's been offered many times in the past.

Once you both arrived, Aizawa went over the plan with you and Shinso, trying to get you both as used to how things ran over there as a real underground hero as possible.

After about 20 minutes of going over the plan, the hour of prep time you had initially started with was almost up, and things had to be started soon.

The plan was set. Since missions normally don't get solved in a day (especially mystery ones such as the one you were assigned), the first day would typically be a simple search for any clues and witnesses, just gathering as much information on the topic as you can. The 2-5 days after will typically be when things start getting put together, and any days after that would be when direct action will take place.

This was a rough template to go off of as every mission is different than the other, but Aizawa needed to give you guys something to go off of for reference.

Aizawa had pinpointed the target's location of the lady that had the tracker implant, and found that she was in a cave of some sort, possibly since it would be a smart hiding place seeing as that cave in particular was deep and had been infamous in the past for getting people sick due to the mold and mushroom spores that filled it.

With this newfound information, you three geared up and trecked to the forest, minds sharp and clear, ready for anything that was thrown at you.

It was quite a walk there, and by the time you reached the forest your legs were starting to feel a bit sore, but nevertheless you continued on, pushing past overgrowth that tickled and scratched at your legs.

Aizawa was walking in front of you with the tracker in his hand and was focusing intently on it while his other hand pushed the meddlesome plants to the side as he walked. Shinso walked to the side of him, trying to do what he can and show off any skills of his, although all that the two of you could do at the moment was simply walk and follow.

Watching Aizawa for any signs of being near the location, you both came to a stop when he did, looking around for any signs of a cave. Despite looking around, all you saw was lots of plants and other undergrowth, and not the slightest sight of any cave nearby.

You saw Aizawa do the same thing, look around and shake his head in confusion. He turned around and walked back to see if he missed anything, you and Shinso following obediently. Aizawa shook his head again, muttering to himself as he turned around as walked back again, this time Shinso spoke up.

"What's the matter?"

Aizawa stopped and sighed, turning the tracker towards the two of you. Looking at the blinking dot and the one that indicated you three, it seemed as though you had already reached the cave. Looking up, you still didn't see any signs of a cave nearby, and now worry was starting to eat away at you.

Aizawa grumbled, "I don't know if it's bugged or if someone purposely messed with it. If we don't find anything then we'll have to go back."

Your stomach dropped when he said that. You had been looking forward for this mission for the longest time, and now there was a possibility for it to end before it even started?

Seeing the other two begin to make their way back, you panicked and tried catching up to them. However, your wings weren't fit for the forest as it was dense with growth from the recent storms that had been happening lately.

Your wing got caught up on a vine, and the thorns caught onto it further as you tried pulling it away. Tugging with all your might, you ripped your wing free, only to fall flat on your face, sliding a bit from the tugging.

Aizawa and Shinso heard the commotion and turned to see you fall, rushing to go help. Trying to stand up and not get any further entangled, you stepped back from a cluster of sticky plants, only to feel a dip behind you, sending you falling backwards as you were on the top of a slope.

A little like that ⁠(⁠･⁠◡⁠･⁠)⁠/

You heard Aizawa and Shinso shout your name, sliding down skillfully after you so they can help. You slid on your back, hardening your wings so they'd protect you as you continued down the slope. The ground was still damp, and the wet soil and plants made a perfect mixture for sliding a long ways down without stopping.

You finally slid all the way down into a sort of ditch that had stagnant water sitting on the bottom, but luckily for you the numerous plants that swallowed the bottom of it protected you from the water and provided a soft cushion for you to fall onto.

Landing upside down, you struggled to get back up onto your feet as your hardened wings stuck into the wall of the trench. Tugging them out, you finally managed to sit up into a crouch. You heard Aizawa and Shinso calling out to you, and just as you were about to call after them, something in the trench caught your eye.

There was an oddly shaped cluster of plants on the wall of dirt, and nowhere else. You would've brushed this away normally, but maybe since the adrenaline was still coursing through you it made you extra alert.

Standing up and patting the dirt and crushed plants off of you, the reached over and hesitantly pulled at the plants, only to see that they were purposely tied and braided together to create a net or mesh to cover something when you took a closer look.

Now confident that something was up, you pulled off the net cover, and found the entrance to a large opening in the wall. You had found the cave.

Looking behind you, you shouted to the other two, "Guys! I found it!". You wanted to run towards them, but stayed since you didn't want to lose track of the cave.

Aizawa was the first to shout, "Found what?!"

Behind him, Shinso was panting as he slid down the rest of the slope next to Aizawa, careful to not accidentally fall into the ditch like you.

They made their way to where you were, and Aizawa skidded into the ditch where you were without hesitation, immediately going over to you and checking you over for injury. Shinso slid in a little more hesitantly after Aizawa, and went over to you to flick you on the forehead.

"Idiot. Only you can slide down a hill and into a wet ditch."

You rubbed your forehead, then remembered and gestured to the opening you found.

"Look! "

"What is it?" Shinso asked jeeringly.

You huffed a bit, not in the mood to deal with his teasing.

"It's the cave! I found it, so we don't have to go back!"

Aizawa silently approached the entrance, and looked down at the tracker to see that the dots perfectly aligned this time. He rubbed the back of his neck, still a little apprehensive due to the glitch out that happened earlier.

"I don't know... How would we know that this is the right cave? We don't have any proof..."

You picked up the tied plant mesh and gestured for Aizawa to take it from you.

"I found this covering the front so it would be better hidden.."

Aizawa looked closer at the plants, and found truth in your words. He handed it to Shinso so he could learn from it, to which he just muttered "Huh, you did find it".

Aizawa grabbed the small bag he had brought along with him, and pulled out three different sized respiratory masks that had facial guards, as well as three headlights that went on the top of the masks.

You each took a mask and put it on, along with attaching the flashlight to your heads and walkie talkies to your waists. Gloves were also given to protect your hands anything dangerous in the cave, and so if the police needed evidence then your DNA wouldn't be on the scene.

Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you looked at the entrance of the cave, dark and menacing, as though it was an open mouth waiting to swallow you down it's throat.

Aizawa patted your shoulder, and when he saw that it didn't calm you down very much he did something he normally wouldn't do; he held out his hand and let you hold it for comfort. He didn't want to baby the either of you, but something about the look of fear and panic across your face made him feel a little bad and made him worry that he was starting you both off a little fast.

With Shinso on one side and you on the other, the three of you turned on your lights and began to descend into the open cave.

As you delved deeper into the cave, you noticed your worry went away bit by bit as you began to see how pretty the cave looked on the inside. Glowing bugs sat across the roof of the cave and shimmered as each bug would flicker their light, and you took notice of the numerous glowing mushrooms that lit up the cave in a hazy purple glow.

You tried letting go of Aizawa's hand as you felt a little more confident, only to immediately grab it back as you worried you had lost them for a second. He squeezed your hand in response to let you know you were okay, and you tried your best to be as useful as you could, just like you wanted to earlier yesterday.

You all eventually walked into a rather open area of the cave, filled with the glowing purple mushrooms that made it nearly useless to have your flashlights. With the light helping him see everyone, Aizawa let you and Shinso walk around to look for any clues you could find. Unbeknownst to the two of you, he was on high alert as he sensed something felt extremely off. He couldn't scrape away the feeling from his mind that something wasn't right, and so he wanted to make sure you were safe.

You walked around, marvelling at the little puddles of water and stalactites, making sure not to touch anything that wasn't a clue. You walked around and looked behind the edge of another opening in the open area, trying not to walk too far off so Aizawa could still see you.

You looked around and shined your flashlight wherever you could, and upon seeing a ripped green sweater your blood ran cold. Shaking, you ran the flashlight up the sweater and saw other pieces of ripped clothing and small drops of glowing purple liquid surrounding the whole thing.

You felt nothing but fear as you stood there, chilled to the bone as the thought of an actual threat made its presence. With trembling arms and frozen blood, you still moved the light further over the scene, and what you saw made your breath hitch and every thought in your mind stilled. For a split second, time was non-existent, frozen just like the blood that ran through your veins. You felt weak, like a small child. You forgot everything. Where you were. Your quirk. Your training.

Everything was forgotten in the frozen second as true fear hit you for the first time. Because what you saw was the woman, unconscious and bruised, but alive. And next to her, a man with glowing purple mushrooms clinging to his skull, eyes devoid of emotion and pupils, instead the only thing in his eyes was a bright glowing purple that seemed like nothing but two empty holes that sat on his face. His clothes were tattered, much more than the lady's, and he stood with a crouch, like a beast of sorts. His mouth was agape, constantly in motion of slight opening and closing, as if an internal hunger always gnawed at his mind, even when he was resting.

And when you made eye contact with him (it?), that seemingly empty head of his bursted with action as he lunged at you with a likeness of that of a loaded spring, as if he was waiting for his next victim to come across his territory. He had moved faster than your mind could comprehend, and still it didn't help that your legs were frozen and your mind was full of fog.

It was only when his chilled fingers scraped against your mask that you began to move. You threw yourself back and tried to scream for help, only for the man to grab your throat and throw your head against the wall, letting go only to let you slide down as warm pulsing pain shot throughout your head.

You clutched your head in pain, and the man lunged for you again, grabbing your ankle and sliding you towards him, hungry mouth still moving and empty purple eyes looking for another pair to join his. Fear moved you this time, and although you were too panicked to think properly, you still had the energy to try to move yourself back and away from the thing antagonizing you.

Everytime you tried to get up he would just try to grab your mask, so you stayed on the ground and tried scooting back to where Aizawa and Shinso were. You couldn't use your wings on the ground, as that was one major downsides of your quirk.

Deciding that you needed to get out of there, you tried to throw yourself up and run out, but as you attempted to jump up the man threw his weight at you, slamming you down again, this time coming at you with a large rock in his hands.

Seeing his empty eyes and dead emotions, you looked up in pure terror as tears ran down your face, the thought of death consuming you. He slammed down the rock on your mask, cracking and breaking it, and you snapped. If you were going to die, then you'd take the risk. You screamed out as loud as you could, screaming with your throat until it was raw and sore, begging for help with all you had in your lungs.

Aizawa and Shinso weren't too far away, and so when they heard you scream they immediately thought of nothing else but getting to where you were. Every part in their bodies was on high alert, and Aizawa noticed you weren't in the same open area anymore, cursing himself out for not paying better attention to you. Every thought coursing through his mind was only you, you, you.

He thought back to earlier, about the scared student who had to hold his hand in order to make it into the cave, about the student he had been training and worrying about for so long.. Now, all his fears and worries were coming to life, much to his horror.

Aizawa heard you scream again and followed where it was coming from, giving a quick signal to Shinso to follow. He ran behind one of the turns and came across a sight that would most likely burn into his head for a long time.

He saw a man crushing a large rock into your mask, and knew that once the mask was gone then that would be your skull. Rage filled his mind, and he saw nothing but red as he lunged his scarf at the man with more violence than needed.

Aizawa completely wrapped the man in his scarf and swung him into the cave walls with crushing force, before tugging the man towards him and landing a solid punch directly to his face then harshly kneeing him in the gut. The man was beyond unconscious after this, and the largest glowing mushrooms atop his head had fallen off in combat while the smaller ones were still clinging to him. His nose was definitely broken, and Aizawa was sure he might've accidentally broken his ankle when swinging him, but he didn't care as he believed it was well deserved.

Wasting no time, Shinso ran over to you after the man was taken down, and Aizawa joined him. Aizawa pulled out his first-aid kit, wiping down and bandaging a deep gash across your arm, and pulled out a smaller temporary respiratory mask, replacing the mangled one immediately.

You were conscious at least, but you were still stuck in a state of shock, not comprehending what was happening. Shinso laid your head in his lap as Aizawa cleaned a cut on your head, wiping some tears as the medicine stung.

"You did good, kid. You did so very good. Let's get you out of here, okay? "

Aizawa looked to you for a response, worry filling his mind as he mentally beat himself for taking his eyes off of you. It wouldn't happen again, ever.

"C'mon kid... I need a response.. something, even a nod.."

You were still trembling in Shinso's arms, but this time you attempted a nod, immediately regretting it as a burning pain shot through your head. Still, Aizawa got it and took it as a signal to get you two out of there. He wrapped the man up with extra rope that he had on hand so he could have his scarf back, and checked the lady for a pulse, relieved upon finding a steady one and minimal bruises.

He marked the coordinates of where the two were, and called the police so they can handle the rest. For now, Aizawa was only concerned about you, and carried you out with Shinso walking by his side.

The police quickly made their way to the coordinates given to them, and as Aizawa tended to you on the slope above the cave, Shinso let him know that he saw police officers arriving. They apprehended the man, and decided to send him to the hospital for treatment for his broken nose and ankle. As they were dragging him out of the cave, you noticed that his eyes weren't purple anymore, probably since he had a quirk cancelling bracelet on.

He was awake again, and this time he yelled in anger and desperation that he didn't do anything as the police tied him up for the hospital. It disgusted Aizawa, to have seen him try to murder his timid student right in front of him and then try to claim innocent.

Yes, Aizawa was used to villains and criminals doing this all the time, trying to say they didn't do something they very clearly did before, but this time was different since it was a direct attack on someone he cared about.

As you watched the man get taken away, you couldn't help but notice how heavy your eyelids seemed, as though they were weighted drapes trying to close. This was accompanied by a warm and painful throbbing that seemed to push against your skull, the adrenaline wearing off and letting all the pain you endured loose.

Eventually your world went dark, although you couldn't tell exactly when it did, as it just happened at some point in time. While asleep, you felt warm and fuzzy, as though the darkness surrounding you was a hug that enveloped you entirely in its kindness.

Simply drifting through the darkness, you let it's familiarity carry you wherever it wished without care. The edges of your sleep began to fade, and as your slumber began to deteriorate you heard an unknown voice ring out from the vast darkness.

"Please... p-please.. I w-want to go home..."

It was an unfamiliar voice, one that sounded timid and scared, and upon hearing you wanted nothing more than to help whoever was attached to it.

As you turned and tried to reach out your hand to help, the final borders of your sleep wore off and you woke up.

Blinking open your eyes, the first thing you noticed was the light. When you passed out it was still pitch black. The light was muted and soft on the eyes, coming from a single window to your left that was covered with curtains.

I hope that helps, I'll be using this setup a lot for future stories! (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Your brain was still rather foggy from waking up, and your whole body ached from overwork and the attack.

Right... The attack...

You started remembering things little by little, struggling a bit extra for some reason as your mind was refusing to cooperate with you. Blinking a bit more, you looked around to distract yourself from the pain, nearly jumping out of bed upon seeing Aizawa's sleeping form sitting in an uncomfortable-looking chair that was placed right next to your bed.

Seeing all the machines in between you two and the white walls, you decided that you must be in a hospital or at least something similar. Looking down, you realized that you were in a hospital, as instead of seeing your hero outfit you saw it was replaced by mint green hospital gown.

Now that you knew you were in a hospital, you started to wonder why you were there. Was it the hit to the head you took? The gash on your arm? You hadn't the slightest clue.

"Oh, you're awake now?" Startled, you turned around upon hearing Aizawa's classic fatigued voice, and saw that he was awake- albeit looking a little tired (since when had Aizawa ever looked completely awake?).

"How're you feeling, kid? That was a nasty hit you took.." Aizawa gestured towards your head with his eyes, and you felt around your head in confusion, wincing when your hand came in contact with the bandages that were wrapped around your still sore wound.

"Maybe.. don't touch it.", Aizawa offered, gently grabbing your hand to lead it away from your wound. "It's still healing, but Recovery Girl can come over and speed it up for you."

Feeling a little nauseous and sore, you still asked "how long have I been asleep?"

"You passed out in my arms last night. You were brought over to this hospital by ambulance, and I rode with you to make sure you be okay. I guess I fell asleep alongside you."

Looking at nothing in particular, you squinted your eyes at the blank white sheets in front of you, pain beginning to rush through your system just as it had done the night before.

"You need me to get a nurse?"

You simply shook your head a little, the warm throbbing degrading your thought processing from taking place, the only thought in the head being that you wanted nothing but the pain to go away.

Soon enough, a nurse came by and administered you some pain medication and the pain was quickly soothed away, finally allowing you to rest.

Sighing in content, you leaned back in your bed, body and mind still exhausted from the weeks of intense training and the attack on the mission.

A knock brought both of your attention to the door, and a nurse opened the door to allow Shinso in, shutting it once he was fully in the room.

He walked over to where you were laying, you having went back to closing your eyes after seeing who it was due to the fatigue taking control of your worn-out body. You heard him sigh and some rustling as well.

Curious, you opened your eyes the best you could to see Shinso reaching into his backpack and bringing out a plastic bag that looked like the one you'd get from a convenience store, before wearily placing it on the table next to your bed.

It seemed that Shinso was just as tired as you were, the mission having taken up most of his energy and worry taking up his night as well, making it a fight just to get to the hospital to check up on you.

"I thought I told you to stay home for the day, why're you here?" Aizawa asked Shinso, with no real bite to his tone.

"I wanted to check up on them... Also got some snacks for while they're here.." Shinso replied while motioning to you laying in your hospital bed, fatigue and exhaustion resonating through his voice. As you looked at him it seemed as though he was struggling to purely stand up, swaying lightly from side to side.

Aizawa huffed out a bit, "you're exhausted, kid. You can talk a bit but I'm sending you home right after, okay?"

Upon receiving a curt nod from Shinso, Aizawa excused himself so he could go get a coffee from the vending machine down the hall, still tired himself.

So many worries flew across his mind, what was supposed to be a simple learning mission turned into an unpredicted attack and with one of his students ending up in the hospital, even though they were under his watch.

Aizawa had checked with the police to see if they got any info out of the suspect, but they just reported he was stubborn and denied everything that was asked of him. Regardless, he was put in prison after a quick trial deemed him guilty. Although... Aizawa couldn't help but believe that the mission went a little too fast, that it was almost a little too easy (minus your condition).

Upon making his way back to your hospital room, he noticed you and Shinso both fast asleep, with you slouching down from where you previously sat, and Shinso who was seated on the only chair that Aizawa had been sitting on earlier, resting his head in your lap on his crossed arms.

Chuckling to himself, Aizawa went over to the window and peeked out over the city for a second, just for the view, before going over the small couch that sat in front of your hospital bed, folding his arms and resting similar to the two of you.

• • • • •

After that, Recovery Girl made her way to the hospital that you were situated at and used her quirk on you to speed up your healing. After another day of rest, you were finally released from the hospital at the end of the same day you were healed.

Although it was the end of the weekend and school was to start the next day, Aizawa instructed you to stay at the dorms and rest until you felt fine enough to go back to school. With all the rest and recovery you had gotten to do in the hospital, you attempted to head to class as soon as the week started. However, you were promptly stopped by Shinso, who had been sent by Aizawa to make sure you stayed and rested for at least a day, especially since it'd be beneficial for Shinso to stay for a rest day as well to get his energy back up.

"Look, I don't want to be here, either."

Shinso had told you while you crossed your arms and refused to look at him, slightly bitter that your friend would go against you. You didn't mean anything serious as it was all mainly for show, and Shinso knew this, it showed by the smirk that he had on his face.

"Then why're you here? Why bother stopping me?" You rebutted.

He just smiled further, leaning back into the common room's couch cushions as he answered.

" 'Cause... First of all; I'm tired as hell, there's no way I'd make it through a school day, even if I wanted to or not."

Looking over at you this time, he continued.

"And second; free day. Even better that it's Aizawa Sensei that gave it to us, he rarely does stuff like that. "

You grumbled, but didn't argue back as you had nothing to state. You supposed he was right, but still, you wanted to be back in class.

After waiting patiently, your perseverance was rewarded with finally being able to go back to school again, and you were a little relived that things were finally getting back to normal.

You went through your day like normal, going to classes, doing your work, eating lunch, talking with your little friend group, and so on.

Only, something felt... Off.

You couldn't put your finger on it no matter how hard you tried to trace where the source of the feeling was coming from, but you knew it was there.

It started the same day you were allowed to go back to school, now at night, as you and Tokoyami did the dishes for your classmates, Mina trying out one of her "foolproof" dishes of hers in the background. It was a calm, quiet night, one that normally was something you'd look back on to calm yourself when doing something nerve-wracking.

That's when you heard it.

"ple-please... light... I can-cant't take it anymore..any-anymore.. "

Startled, you paused your washing and looked around at your friends to see if anyone had said anything. You just saw Mina whining over her spilled food, Iida helping out Ojiro with his notes, Denki and Sero playing a racing game in the common room... Everything looked fine, but you couldn't shake off what you had heard.

"Everything alright? You look a little pale.", Your friend, Tokoyami stated, now also having paused his washing to look at you with concern. He had seen you stop washing and swivel around without warning, eyes darting around your classmates rapidly- liked a crazed animal.

"O-oh, yeah, I'm just feeling a little tired. I-I think I should head to bed soon.", you lied. You didn't know how to tell Tokoyami your concerns without sounding like a maniac.

He looked at you once again, not fully believing you, still giving you a polite nod regardless as you caught on to his disbelief.

"Well... You had better rest up then. Have a nice night.."

You gave a nod of understanding as you caught on to his doubt, and went to the elevator to go up to your room. As you watched the doors close, you suddenly felt a chill going up your spine, and tremors shook your body. You couldn't for the life of you find out what was wrong. Cold chills wracked your body, climbing from your fingers and toes up to your torso and eventually claiming the rest of your body, and nausea made itself known even though you knew you hadn't eaten anything odd.

Paranoia began to claw at your thoughts. Was it an infection from the wound on your head? Or the one on your arm? Did you overwork yourself, should you have stayed at the dorms for another rest day?

As these thoughts and worries began to distract you and cause you extra anxiety, you were caught off guard by another voice again. This time it caused you to completely black out as it spoke, and your mind seemed to fill with fog.

"I... can't... breath... I-I don't... I can't... I n-need to... to..."

To?

"My-my... daughter... please...she's sick..."

You don't have a daughter though, so who is this?

"I'm sorry I ... couldn't help... I-I'm sorry I.. l-lost..."

Who lost? What'd they lose?

"I... I-I wanna... go home..."

...

So many crying, broken voices tore their way into your mind. Drilling through the little cracks they caused, they ripped apart your very being with their sorrow, all the voices blending together to create a somber harmony of the broken that cried for their freedom, that grieved for their losses, that worried for their loved ones.

It hurt, hearing these voices cry out and plead for help, just as you had done when you got caught up in the attack. These were the kind of voices that had nothing to offer, but everything to lose. The kind to cry out when pushed into something they didn't wish to be a part of. The kind that was actively losing their energy, but still begged in hopes of getting a response.

And you wanted to be that response. But you couldn't move, your body was frozen in place as the voices begged for action, and you were chained in place of you subconscious as they each bombarded you with their melancholy and pain.

You don't know when, eventually the voices stopped when you felt a tapping sensation on your head. Finally being able to open your eyes, you were relieved to be in control of your own body again. You met eyes with a worried Shinso who was standing in front of you, and you realized that you had at one point gotten off the elevator on your floor right before zoning out. He was shaking you slightly, left hand holding your shoulder, the right gently tapping your head.

Once you moved your eyes, Shinso let out a sigh, his panic alleviated now that you were back again. You turned to him, still a little foggy about what had just happened.

"Geez!... What on Earth were you daydreaming about?! You were standing there for like a solid 10 minutes, not moving an inch." He was exhausted and exasperated, confused as to why you weren't acting yourself.

You felt frozen all around, but still worked up enough energy to force yourself to muster a simple yet stiff "sorry.."

Shinso rubbed the back of his neck, still a bit freaked out, but now feeling a little guilty over his freakout once your pathetic response hit him. "It was kinda freaky if I'm being honest .. but I'm glad your back. Just, don't pull that again, okay?"

You attempted to give a nod, but seeing how stiff and frozen you felt it was barely noticable. Shinso noticed something off with you, and his suspicion rose again at your weird behavior.

"Something wrong? You're not really acting yourself.."

For some reason, the fog in your brain clouded the thought of telling Shinso about the weird event that had just taken place, and you only recited what you had told Tokoyami earlier, before stiffly walking off to your room.

He knew something was wrong, but Shinso decided to chalk it up to just you being anxious after the attack, as HoundDog had told him that students normally act odd for awhile after their first missions and attacks, as they're still preparing themselves and aren't used to the daily amounts of stress that heroes typically go through. As much as his inner conscious screamed at him to not ignore it, Shinso didn't want to make matters worse by trying to fix something he knew almost nothing about, so he decided to let you have your own space for some time.

That night you struggled to grasp even the tiniest threads of sleep, an intense battle between mind and body. Your head grew foggier with time, and you would constantly switch between feeling cold and numb to hot and burning. Not a single scrap of peace and recollection graced you with its presence, no matter how much you fought to collect it.

You were always in a state of motion, flipping and floundering in your bed, trying to make yourself comfortable enough so you could possibly go to sleep. As more time passed your mental state began to crumble, coherent thoughts and logical beliefs disappearing as the heavy fog claimed more and more of your mind. Until eventually you were just a cold, empty-headed version of yourself, still confused and now scared for what small remains of your mentality remained.

You made a silent promise to yourself that you would definitely get Aizawa's help in the morning, as you eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion.

The morning sunlight that hit your eyes and the singing of birds that met your ears seemed a little... too calm. At least when compared to what you went through last night. Speaking of, as much as you tried to remember everything that went on last night it just wouldn't come to you. You fought and struggled, eventually going out with a sigh before you went to get ready for the day. Bits and pieces still clung to your memory, but you could only recall tiny fragments at a time. Still, you held onto those pieces with as much mental strength as you held so you could reassure yourself in the future.

Sitting in bed, you braced yourself when you slid out and stood up, only to become confused in the process when nothing came at you. No dizziness, or numbness, or heat flashes. Nothing. Well, nothing but the mind fog that still gripped your mind with an iron fist. It felt odd, because on one hand you felt great, no random back pains or headaches or morning fatigue, nothing. But that's the other hand, as you didn't feel yourself in the process. You moved simply because your muscle memory of your morning routine kept you going, and you felt as though you couldn't force a single new thought to appear in your own head.

For once, your mind was silent. Empty and vast, with little bits of your personality desperately holding on to what they can.

Of course your classmates noticed something was wrong, as you wouldn't just go silent on them so abruptly and without a meaning behind it. But, they understood your kind nature, and they understood that you most likely needed some time to yourself after the attack. Shinso could only describe the situation to the best of his ability, and even then, that was enough to invoke a sense of horror to your normally upbeat classmates.

And so that's why nobody said a thing. That's why not a word was said when you didn't fill in your notes during class, that's why nobody went to check on you when you didn't grab your lunch and instead sat at a table zoning out, and that's why nobody tried to interfere with you when you hadn't spoken a single word all day.

Except for a few, that is.

Shinso had gone up to you during lunch, and attempted to get you to eat.

Gently pushing his lunch tray so it was a little closer to you, he motioned for you to take something.

"You not hungry?.."

You sat there, eyes wide and soulless, and gave him nothing but a simple shrug before letting your shoulders sag down again. You wanted to say something, but you didn't know what. You couldn't know, it was like trying to come up with an answer in math class to a problem you couldn't solve. You hadn't even the slightest clue as to what to say, mind too heavy and foggy.

"C'mon..." He nudged you with his elbow, trying to cheer you up with a little smile of his. It quickly fell from a lack of response.

Sighing, he just scooted closer to you and ate his lunch in silence, getting increasingly worried about your abstract behavior.

After that, Present Mic tried to entertain a smile onto you after English class, telling some of his favorite jokes and stories, often laughing at himself (though it was mostly to try to help crack a smile out of you).

He just smiled a with a saddened expression in his eyes and patted you on the shoulder as you walked off to your next class, his smile dropping and turning to a gloomy sigh when you were out of view. Truly, he was worried when any of his students were down in the dumps or just plain sad, and it was a natural instinct of his for him to try to get them to cheer up again.

The whole day seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye for you, going from waking up to hearing the last bell ring for the day. You felt even foggier than normal and now it seemed as if your head was actually the same weight at a chunk of lead, struggling to stay awake, let alone keep up with everything going on.

Everyone filed out of the class, calmly chattering to their friends, while you still sat calmly at your desk. That's when you felt it. A similar snap that felt like the one from earlier when you were about to lose everything in the attack.

You knew you couldn't go on like this, and so you forced your way through the thick and heavy fog, standing up on wobbly legs and stiffly made your way to Aizawa's desk. It felt almost as if you could collapse any second, but you weren't going down without a fight.

You knew it had something to do with the cave. It felt like a puzzle left uncompleted, the photo never making itself known. Something somewhere was screaming in the depths of your head with all its might to go back to the cave. That the answer was there.

Aizawa looked up from the papers he was grading, noticing you stop next to his desk and just look at him with large, blank eyes. Aizawa's an observant man, of course he knew you weren't acting yourself. He was actually going to question you about it at the end of the day when he was finished with everything just to make sure nothing behind the scenes was going on. He understood the difference between being sick, being in shock, and then being whatever it is you were dealing with. But, to his surprise, you beat him to it.

"I...", You started, voice timid and airy, a stark contrast to how it normally was. You grew frustrated, not realizing why it was so difficult to get your words out. It was like trying to run underwater, as if you were forcing yourself though something thick and vicious holding you back, forcing you to struggle against it. How did it get to this?

You met eyes with Aizawa, and instantly you knew that he somehow understood. He may not have known what was going on exactly, but somehow he understood you were struggling with your words, with your mind and so on.

"I... ", You started again. "I... feel.. funny. " After a quick pause, and a nod from Aizawa, you continued. "The... Cave. We need... To go again..." This time his eyes widened slightly, and you knew you probably caught him in surprise with that.

"The cave?" He asked, voice gentle on comparison to his stern monotonous tone that he normally uses with everyone that. "Why? To check again?"

"Yes... The... Cave. The cave. I can't- just... please..."

That's all you could muster, all the energy seemingly evaporating right from you. Nothing more would come out no matter how much you fought, and so you just hoped that he agreed.

Aizawa looked down to the ground at nothing in particular, seemingly thinking about his decision. He looked around, then back at you before sighing and leaning back in his chair. The cave... Why'd you have to want to go back to the cave? There had to be a reason, you were terrified of it...

After much mental deliberation, Aizawa nodded his head a bit, looking back at you again, deciding on just trusting your word. You were an honorable student, you got good grades, were kind to everyone, and never really went out of your way to break the rules.

"The cave... Alright. " As much as the fog consumed your mind, you still had enough energy to have your eyes widen in surprise. "We'll go back, check and do some inspections, but I can't promise we'll find anything, kid. If we don't then we'll just have to call it a day, alright?"

Giving a stiff nod, your hope grew.

Later that night, Aizawa couldn't help but feel that something for horribly off with the whole situation. Nothing seemed to add up, and if anything it just made him ask more questions rather than answering any of the ones he had beforehand. He was worried, not only for him and his students, but also for you. Especially for you. He almost had half a mind to send you back to the dorms for more rest, but he noticed that during training you were at the top of your game, just as you always had been. He just realized that you must've been stuck in your mind all day, noticing your dazed looks during class and empty eyes during training.

Something didn't add up... It was nothing but a mess he wanted to be done with. But when it involved the safety and sanity of one of his students, he knew he had to get dirty to clean it up.

It was impulsive, but at that moment he felt that he had to go now. When you asked to check the cave again, he saw something in your eyes. Something like a ticking clock, counting down the inevitable moment something happens. Something that certainly wasn't good. A timer of sorts, he supposed. No... Aizawa felt that he was going insane over the whole thing. There was nothing to read in between the lines of something that didn't exist.

He had told you and Shinso that you would be going to the cave again for a check over in two nights, but nevertheless he still decided to change it to that night instead. The confusion wouldn't stop until he knew he wasn't crazy and wasn't worth worrying over nothing, so moving it earlier wouldn't hurt anything but your sleep schedules.

And so, that's how you found yourself walking alongside Shinso and Aizawa through the same forest that you all had done earlier. The same chopped up plants were there, luckily they hadn't had much time to grow again and block the path so you ask could walk without stumbling, and this time the walk was easier as you all knew what to expect now. The same tree stumps that stuck out and tripped your feet earlier were now skillfully avoided, the rabbits that would dart out in a blur no longer spooked you, and you all walked with more confidence in each step.

It was darker this time though, as last time the full moon was out and lit everything up, it now having disappeared behind the thick layer of clouds that filled the chilly night sky. The ground was still damp, and the air was cool against your already chilled skin, but you didn't notice either, as your full focus was simply trying to put one foot in front of the other, mind still heavy and clouded.

You were gripping onto Aizawa's jacket for support and so you wouldn't get lost, and he let you only under the fact that he was also concerned about you in your foggy state. As you walked through the forest, the you noticed that the voices head gotten louder. Each step lead to an increase in their cry, and as much as you hated hearing the horrible cruelty, it seemed to draw you in. Almost as if something was pulling you towards the direction... Each step made your mind foggier and your body colder despite the cool wind, and with each step it felt as though there was something tugging on your mind, trying to bring it down into something soft and warm.

It seemed so hard to resist, but you still continued your fight against the temptations through nothing but sheer will. The warmth was so kind and inviting to your frozen and stiff body, but you still attempted to tear away from the claws that tried to drag you down.

You don't know when, but during your internal battle you all had reached the cave in no time. What snapped you out was Aizawa placing a respiratory mask over your face for you, and you tried to reach your hand up to put it on yourself, only to panic as it didn't move despite your intentions.

This was unnoticed by both Aizawa and Shinso, and you didn't have much time to worry about it before the temptations came back and the struggle continued. Still fazed, you groggily grabbed Aizawa's hand before you all descended into the cave, and he looked over at you to make sure you were okay before you all stepped in, armed with your lights and masks.

"Listen because I'm not going to explain it twice; we're just here to double check everything. If something's wrong, let me know ASAP, and in case something really bad happens there's numerous of heroes patrolling around here that I can call for help"

Aizawa quickly explained as you all made your way through the dangerously familiar dark cave. The voices were practically screaming right next to your ears, so you missed what Aizawa said entirely. Nothing felt right. Everything spun in circles as you let go of Aizawa's hand, trying to make sense of what was going on.

"Alright, but is there anything specific we're looking for, or is it just anything at all?" Shinso questioned, also going alongside Aizawa when it came to wanting to find the reason behind your life behavior.

"No, nothing specific, just anything you happen to run into... " Aizawa answered, looking around to his side.

"Also, I want you to keep an eye on [Name], they've been really out of it lately, so we can't afford another attack."

Shinso's eyes widened. "I thought you were watching them.."

Aizawa's eyes shot open as he quickly spun around to where you were once standing behind him, now nowhere to be seen in the large, dark cave.

"Shit! I really am an idiot!" He exclaimed in worry as horrible memories of the first attack remained fresh in his mind.

Immediately turning back to Shinso, Aizawa shouted, "listen, you can look around but stay in the area! I'm going to look for her since she couldn't have gotten far. And please, for the love of god, don't wander off, and yell if you need anything!"

Aizawa was already running down the tunnels before he even finished his sentence, leaving Shinso to himself while Aizawa focused on finding you before you got you lost.

As he ran throughout the tunnels, something clicked on his head. Your hero in training tag. All students had one, and they all had trackers in case the student got lost or kidnapped during a mission. Perfect.

Thanking whatever higher beings that were out there, Aizawa practically ripped out his tracker from his pocket, seeing two different color dots on it, one for Shinso and one for you. He was so focused on finding you that Aizawa didn't notice Shinso's blinking dot rapidly chasing after him.

Looking up, Aizawa was initially relieved when it said you were just around the corner, but it quickly dropped and turned to alarm when he actually saw you.

Unconscious and mask ripped off and broken into pieces on the ground next to you, Aizawa couldn't help but panic and his senses all heightened as he looked you over. However, that was the least of his concerns. What he really was focusing on was the glowing purple mushrooms that clung to your head, glowing with a beat that seemed to match the pulse of your heart.

Nausea made its way to his system, but Aizawa remained stone faced as he tensed himself for attack.

Crack

A cracking of something behind him gave him all he needed before turning around only to come face-to-face with another person, glowing mushrooms also growing atop their head. It looked like an average man you'd see walking the streets, having on nothing but a tattered white T-shirt with blue basketball shorts and one sandal, the other seemingly missing. His eyes glowed a hazy purple, but Aizawa's heart dropped as he looked behind the man.

There were more of them. Lots of them, all average-looking people with glowing eyes and mushrooms on their head. His heart dropped even further and his blood ran cold as Aizawa realized that these were all the missing people, and that they couldn't have been coincidentally waiting there for him at that exact moment. Then it hit him.

It was a trap.

Mine fully alert and panic now fueling his legs, he promised himself that he'd come back for you as he side-jumped onto the wall and over the crowd that was grabbing and lunging at every bit of him. Aizawa cursed, as he had to leave his scarf back at the dorms due to the tight tunnels.

He dashed through the thin tunnels, throwing himself around as he searched for Shinso to make sure was was okay. Feeling a hand grab his shoulder, he ripped it off of him and swung them from behind, slamming them into the ground without as much force as Aizawa had liked due to his panic.

Shinso wheezed, hitting the ground hard with a thud, landing on his back.

"Kid! You know you can't surprise me like that! I thought I told you!" Aizawa growled a bit, although his tone didn't match his elated expression.

He pulled Shinso back up with ease, the boy in turn staggering a bit after the hard hit, but stabilizing quickly after from having taken many similar hits during training.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or anything. It's just, I was looking for you because I think I found something." Shinso was still out of breath, but he breathed and then started again. "I think we fell for a trap!"

Aizawa turned behind him and Shinso followed, a look mixed of fear and surprise on his face as they both saw the huge crowd of mushroom people chasing after them.

Aizawa pushed Shinso in front of him, giving him the single command that beared the weight of their lives: run.

With that being said, the duo stormed out of there, there being just too many to fight. Swerving left and right to dodge the incoming attacks, they took turns with one leading and the other pushing back the hoard. The tunnels grew wider as they pushed on, and it seemed the entrance was coming up, but they were once again ambushed.

Coming from the other side of the cave, another hoard came barging in and blocked the way, crushing their hopes of getting out of there. But what shocked them most of all was seeing you among the group. Your eyes were a little lighter purple than the others, but you still had the all too common mushrooms clinging onto your head just as well.

Shinso could only look at in shock, refusing to look into your terrible empty eyes where there should've had their original shine to them. It was awful, really. The dead weight settling into their stomachs as they were blocked from all around. The absolute loss of any hope of escaping. The snuffed flame of their still disappearing predictions and being replaced with a sense of hopelessness as they realized that soon they'd be a part of that crowd.

Aizawa was still, a single thought in his head.

"Shinso... This is my fault. I should've done a better job at looking out for the both of you. Now, because of me one of you is gone and the other is soon to be the same.."

Shinso shook his head, tears of frustration growing in his eyes as he refused to admit defeat.

"It's not your fault! None of this is... It's someone else's doing! You did all you could, right?! You called for help and we still ended up like this! We tried, we got this far, we can't give-"

Aizawa cut him off, a heavy expression gnawing at his features as a shadow covered his face.

"No, I haven't done all I can yet. I'm going to get you out of here, whether that be at my expense or not."

Shinso shook his head at his teacher's words, still denying the fate that awaited them. In an act of desperation and anger, he looked to all the empty-eyed people, shouting at them while trying to use his quirk so he could have something, anything.

"You can hear me, right?!" The empty faces didn't flinch.

"What do you want from us?! What could you possibly gain from taking my friend away?!" He cried out, fear and desperation now beginning to settle on his mind as the crowd looked at him while getting closer, empty and stiff.

"GIVE THEM BACK!" Shinso yelled out one last time in a fit of rage while looking at your blank face, sparking you to lunge at him without warning.

It felt as though time was frozen again. The air felt thick and jellylike as your cold fingers grasped the edges of Shinso's mask, purple eyes mirroring his as he could only look in shock.

Without a single moment of hesitation, Aizawa launched himself in-between you and Shinso instead, and you took the bait, hands clawing at his face and tearing the mask off him instead, scratching him in the process.

It was over for Aizawa now. He knew that. He inhaled the spores, now he lost the game, and it was only a matter of time. A matter of time.

Time...That's right. The clock was still ticking, he had time.

Without sparring so much as a single second, he grabbed your collar and pushed you out of the way without any harm, and quickly did the same to all the grasping hands that ached to infect the fresh faces. Grabbing Shinso by the arm, Aizawa led him through the crowd without much care for himself now that his cards have been dealt. These were regular people, people who never trained a day in their life besides maybe going to the gym, people who never thought of fights and violence, but rather just living their lives. Aizawa was a trained and hardened pro, he understood he had a good hand dealt to him.

But there was power in numbers, that was certainly true. He never understood a saying more than that one as he struggled to guide Shinso out to safety, using himself as a human shield against the hands that aimed to infect. Time was ticking...

It was a sea of people, pushing and shoving at all sides around. Purple eyes and glowing mushrooms crowded the tunnels, and Aizawa could only hope the entrance was near. It was hard to tell because as he pushed through the people would only follow.

With Aizawa giving one last shove that ended with a couple people falling to the ground, Shinso pointed out an opening that Aizawa practically threw them both into. There was no sigh of relief, because the crowd surged forward, catching them both off guard with the unpredictable mass movements.

A million hungry hands reached in their direction, like a wave of flesh coming to crash down upon them. The constant loss of hope and fear of infection was beginning to get exhausting.

Aizawa's muscles were sore and burned with white hot agony, but he still needed to give his all while he still could. Before he eventually would join the crowd. It was the least he could do, ensure that at least one of you three made it out and spread the word.

Purple eyes, glowing mushrooms, a million hands... It all seemed inescapable...

"BANG!"

A sudden sound shot through the air, and the man closest to the two immediately crumpled to the ground as red flew through the air from his ankle. A few more shots were heard and an opening was made wide enough for the duo to pass through as several more people crumpled to the ground like the first.

Aizawa led Shinso, and they found standing at the entrance of the cave the hope that they had been losing all night. Because there stood a large group of a random assortment of heroes that came to their aid. And finally, the thought of loss was lifted from their minds.

They made their way out, still tense as the battle was far from over. The infected had followed Shinso and Aizawa all the way outside, and now in a grassy opening in the dimly lit forest, a battle was being held by the heroes in an attempt to restrain as many people as they could.

As Snipe ran over to check on Shinso (the only student there), Aizawa collapsed, weak and without any energy due to the fight and the spores that were quickly taking over from how long he was breathing them in.

He rushed to check on Aizawa after finding Shinso to be okay, but Snipe and Shinso both panicked when a hero next to them also collapsed, along with another further away, and then two more to the opposite side.

As more and more heroes collapsed, most having coughing fits, Aizawa came to a dreadful realization. Each hero that collapsed didn't have some kind of mask, while the few left to help did. And he understood.

That they were fighting a losing battle.

Because of his mistake. Again, he ruined more and more with his recklessness.

Hero after hero collapsed, some catching on to the pattern and masking early, others catching on too late and falling to the ground in a coughing fit while they attempted to protect themselves with pieces of cloth from their costumes or spare masks they had on hand.

It was an appalling sight, to see the empty eyed win so easily by simply existing, while the heroes that had trained for so long and hard lost while fighting with all they had in them.

So few were left standing as the sun's rays began to peak overhead, a painful irony that life kept going despite the losses and wins of those that lived it. Everyone that could move called in for more backup while trying to help the fallen and also attempted to restrain weak alongside all that. It was too much for too little people.

Things only kept getting messier as Aizawa had kept trying to fix it, and now he wasn't the only one paying the price, but also many, many others were as well. Aizawa refused to give in to the infection until he had fixed what he had done. It was the least he could do.

However, something took a turn. As the sun rose, everyone who was infected lost their mushrooms and thus they got their mind back once the sunlight reached them. This was only discovered as an infected woman who was pushing back a struggling and weak hero suddenly went still before falling to the floor, unconscious.

Once this was discovered, those that still had the energy and their abilities led or pushed the infected people into the spots where the sun shone, causing the tables to turn in the battle with the newfound information. Better yet, those that were fighting the infection had it removed from their system as soon as the sun met their head.

Aizawa attempted to stand after the sun sunlight reached his body, but he had to quickly catch himself as his knees almost buckled, and he found that although he was no longer infected, he was still dealing with the after effects such as what he was dealing with currently; all his energy seemed to have seeped straight out of him, leaving him weak and vulnerable.

Still, he fought the exhaustion and forced his legs to stand. He had to find you, wherever you were. He knew you were outside, and he knew Snipe was watching Shinso. Goodness, he just hoped you were okay. After looking around through the chaos and clumps of people, Aizawa finally spotted you, unfortunately hiding away under the shade of the trees and still very much infected.

There were almost no infected people left, and so most heroes turned to you upon noticing this. However, everything went still and silent upon noticing a large shadowy figure standing behind you. The figure stepped out and into the light, causing several gasps as people finally got a look at who was behind this whole thing.

It was a lady who had long dark hair and was covered all over in different kinds of mushrooms. She had a horrible expression on her rotting face, and it was discovered that the mushrooms were growing only where she was decaying. Aizawa felt no fear when he saw this lady, only pure, unadulterated, rage. He had no clue who this lady was, only that she was the one responsible for this whole mess, and that she currently was the one controlling you right in front of Aizawa.

It was quickly discovered that her control was stronger when there were less people being controlled, and as you were the last one, that meant you were at her bidding no matter what it was, sunlight or not.

She looked over to Shinso and scowled upon seeing him fine and untouched.

"I recall earlier... You were asking what I could possibly gain by taking your friend from you?... " She spoke to Shinso, who wasn't that far away from her. Her voice was deep and raspy, and as a result it barely understandable, but it still resonated with everyone around. All was still and everyone was silent and on edge as she was basically holding not only a student hostage, but also everyone around as she had complete control over you and now your quirk as well.

Shinso shot a sharp glare at the lady. Seeing an actual villain with a quirk similar to his... All the bullying and relentless stereotypes that were forced onto him growing up... It was all because of people like her...

And now she was holding his friend under her control. He couldn't stand the sight. Unheroic thoughts plagued his mind at the moment, as he couldn't help but feel a deep seated rage beginning to boil in him. But he was stuck. He couldn't move and risk you getting hurt, or anyone else either.

Aizawa watched the interaction, wondering if he could sneak in with using his quirk and end the whole thing. Some heroes around him caught on to this while still staying silent.

"I'd like to know!" A man, a new and young hero stated from far away, a telepath spreading the message.

"You're nothing but evil, using innocent people to your bidding! Doesn't it make you sick? To act in such a manner?" He declared confidently.

"Nice try. " She simply stated, eyes slanted and an expression that was tainted with an evil sense of joy and merriment. Everyone froze as she turned and looked Aizawa straight in the eye.

"I can hear all of your little friend's thoughts. Erasure? Sorry, but that won't stop my spores..."

She looked at Aizawa with a gloating expression that was mixed with her own rage.

"How does it feel?!" She exclaimed, causing the alert heroes to tense.

"To have lost control of those that you love?!" She asked, and at that moment Aizawa noticed that the victims weren't chosen at random. They each were related to a hero somehow, but weren't directly one themselves. This was an attack on the heroes the whole time. From the inside out...

All over, many heroes were still weak and recovering from the infection, and those that were masked had little energy left from being the sole protectors and fighters. She knew what she was doing this whole time.

"Lemme tell you this... When my friend was sick and dying from a burglar's quirk, did any hero come to save her day?" No one spoke a word.

"No. And so all was up to me... I didn't know... My quirk would just speed things up... I didn't know... " She looked down at her hands, trembling sightly as if she was still remembering the day she lost her closest friend.

"I know what it's like to lose control! To lose someone you love... But you heroes don't! You never did! You never attempted to help, you didn't even try to save her!" She shouted, voice growing more raspy with volume.

She grew quiet, and heroes all around looked at each other. No one had the energy left in them to fight anymore, and backup was still too far away. Aizawa looked up at you with worry, your eyes still empty and mushrooms still glowing atop your head. He needed to get you to safety.

"That's why...", She looked up, face now devoid of any earlier emotion, just like her puppets.

"I need to show you what it's like."

And with that, she raised her hand towards Aizawa, and in the blink of an eye, you were shooting forward at him.

His eyes grew in surprise, not predicting a direct attack being sent on him. He could barely stand, let alone fight. Shinso attempted to throw himself in your way, but you hardened you wings and closed them around yourself like a cocoon, before shooting them open again with enough force to send him flying.

Snipe, although reluctant to shoot one of his students, still knew what he had to do. Looking down, he saw he had two bullets left, enough for each ankle or arm if he could make it.

He aimed in between the crevice of your wings and shot once. The bullet sped through the air, but before it could reach you, it fell to the ground in between the two of you after a sharp "clink" was heard, and he realized it was your hardened feathers. He tried again but the same thing happened, and this time you sent a speeding feather at him, hitting his sleeve and pinning him to a tree with several more.

Following this, Aizawa could only attempt to use his quirk as you expanded your metal wings, them glowing a beautiful pure white that radiated a deadly beauty. It did nothing, but he stayed strong and held on as he watched you raise several fatal feathers in the air.

He closed his eyes awaiting a sharp pain, but never felt anything. Aizawa tensed, and opened his eyes upon hearing a vulgar curse coming from the mushroom lady who once stood triumphantly, now clutching her bleeding arm and abdomen.

He saw you, also clutching your bleeding head, standing tall and no longer infected.

You turned to him, eyes now their original color and mushrooms gone from your hair, and gave him a large, joyful smile. He could only stay frozen in surprise, but before he could say anything you turned back to the lady who was attempting to escape.

She brushed her hands on the trees in an attempt to colonize more of her mushrooms, but it was too bright for them to grow and they could only get to about a hair's width before shrivelling and dying. It was pointless for her to do, and you steeled your wings once again and sent out more feathers at her departing figure. She got hit in the backs of her knees, her Achilles tendons, and the back of the neck before getting pinned and retained by surrounding heroes after she crumpled.

While that was going on, Aizawa forced his burning muscles to cooperate and limped over to you, and when you noticed you ran over to him to meet him halfway. Shinso jogged over to the two of you as well, disappointed in himself for not configuring l contributing more, but relieved you were okay.

Aizawa grabbed you before your could speak and just held you in a tight hug for a solid second of silence, to which you didn't mind. After letting go, he had to ask, "how?"

You chuckled a bit, knowing exactly what he was asking.

"Your quirk helped snap me out for just enough time to send one my feathers at my head which helped to give me more time free from her control which I used to send at her ". You rubbed the back of your neck, not used to all the attention. "I guess her quirk lost control when I hit her. I can't explain it, though. I suppose I just got lucky.."

After that, several ambulances and an armored criminal hospital truck showed up, and everyone got a check up. Those in the worst conditions were given first treatment, and you were one of these people with the opened wound on your head. Shinso was alongside you, as he broke his right wrist when he got flung by your wings, but other than that, the two of you were okay. Aizawa didn't have any major injury, but was still given plenty of pain relief and sent on his way.

The whole event had involved so many people that it got put in the news. That's an understatement, it was all over the news. Your classmates thought it was the coolest thing, and were glad you ended up being okay.

The cave was inspected by a team of crime-scene containment and contamination experts, and they were able to remove every single trace of the lady's quirk, down to the smallest spore. Still, the cave was filled so no one would be able to go in it ever again.

The man accused earlier was apparently the first to be controlled, and he was sent as bait for the heroes so they'd lose track of her. He was given a formal apology of the court and proper payment for the whole incident. The innocent victims were also given payments as well, and they were hospitalized and sent under a strict quarantine for a month. This was too ensure that no missed spores had the chance to grow and spread.

Since you and Aizawa were infected at some point, you both were put under quarantine as well, although you simply weren't allowed to leave the dorms for a month, however your classmates happily entertained you (much to Aizawa's dismay).

During that month, you and Aizawa got to learn a lot about each other, and it drastically boosted your confidence when it came to fighting. Aizawa was glad for your successes, and he definitely looked forward to seeing you grow up.

Shinso wasn't placed under mandatory quarantine, so he was able to go back to school when he was finished resting (properly). Although he was a bit jealous that you got a whole month to yourself.

The mushroom lady was healed by prison doctors and sent over to Tartarus where she'd stay permanently with all the other villains. Since she had a powerful quirk if used right, she had to have a constant surveillance and checks to make sure her quirk cancelling bracelet was working properly.

• • • • •

Some time had passed since the incident, and before you knew it you were starting your second year of upper secondary school (highschool) with your classmates.

It was the first day of school, and waiting for you and Shinso at the gates was none other than Aizawa no himself. He saw your expression and chuckled a bit, asking "Nervous?".

You shrugged your shoulders. You weren't scared like you always were in the past, but you didn't know what the future was going to hold. It was out of your control.

And so Aizawa did something he had only done once before. He offered you his hand.

Smiling, you accepted it and all three of you walked together, beginning another year.

A/N:

Ahh! That took so long! But I enjoyed writing it very much!

(🎀ơ ᎑ ơ)

This is to make up for the small breaks I've been taking (I apologize for that, exams are here, I've been looking for a job, and my mental health hasn't been the best..)

NOTE: I don't think I specified this, but the voices reader heard was due to the mushroom lady's quirk, which created a sort of hive mind. That's also how she was able to read your mind when infected.

One last thing, please request if you want! I don't judge, and I promise I see them all! I just ask for patience is all ꒰˶ฅ̀•ᗜ•ฅ́˶꒱おけ〇

Thank you for being here, I hope you have a fantastic day!

年2023/月03/日08

Reblogs and any feedback are very much appreciated! (Seriously, it's the only thing keeping me going sometimes)

[cdroloisms]

I just came across your post about vagueposting and I think I agree with it, but the situation you most likely wrote it about is hardly a "vagueposting" because you could say who it was about after reading it literally one time and that person got jumped and insulted in the anon ask anyway so discussing it in person could be safer...

I'm reeeally sorry for bring up a past situation, but I don't think it's a good idea to write nasty things about another person and specific details about how they interact with the fandom and their post, say things that will help to easily identify a person and at the same time insult them or say how you think they feel about the characters or the story based on your feelings about their one take that you didn't like and then call it's "vague" because there is no name in the post. I mean, It can lead to bad consequences, it literally did in that situation.

And yes, I do think people have the right to discuss bad takes or takes they don't like, but there's a way to do it without giving away every detail about the post and the person who wrote it so everyone knows who you're talking about, and if you're not good at being vague, just discuss it in a private chat.

this ask is old but i was busy last week, so forgive me for the late response. i was debating answering it at all, but i dont want myself to be misunderstood, so just. to clarify under the cut.

i'll agree with you that the post/situation in question wasn't vagueing. now, i don't know exactly the difference between the number of followers i have and the number of followers that the blogger in question has, and when it comes to the number of active dsmp followers i think both of us have even less of a clue. that being said, both of us frequent much of the same circles, so i think it's fair to say that many of my posts will end up being exposed to a very similar audience to his, and so therefore this response about the situation you're talking about will be just about as clearly traceable to a specific person as the post he made that started the situation in question. just as a general observation.

if i'm understanding your ask correctly, while vagueing a take is fine, the vague shouldn't be clearly identifiable if you're going to speak badly about it or disagree heavily. to which i have to ask what, specifically, is defined as clearly identifiable? i think most takes in this fandom can be pretty easily traced to a person, even if that person is not the only person that believes in that take--just as an example, c!tommy as a butterfly pinned behind glass was a take in response to the c!sam and c!dream stream after techno escaped, and grew to be a pretty prominent theme to the point of a zine being modeled after it, but i can also trace it to a pretty specific tumblr post with a name attached. i also think that that same statement probably isn't true for many fans who maybe joined later on in the fandom. i mean, i'm aware that i'm being pedantic here, i'm aware that the situation in question created conflict specifically due to it being within dreblr and in a space where multiple people would've seen both posts and felt ensuing awkwardness bc they know both people either on a personal or acquaintance level, but i mean the same applied ages ago whenever strategist-interpretation and trauma-interpretation c!dream apologists felt like going at it again on the dash.

in this scenario specifically, what made the situation clearly identifiable was the nature of the take that was being discussed. the main identifying detail was the take that the asker was asked about, imo, and i mean ... yeah i mean. most takes that haven't blown up pretty heavily do end up being tied to one or two people? i mean, staged finale is a take that can be tied to three people who argued in favor of it the most before the rest of dreblr got on board only in late 2021. i simply don't think that a take that maybe only one person has argued for (which, i dont remember the statistics of the take in this situation, so i dont remember how many notes it had or how many people in total may have expressed public agreement towards it, honestly) is exempt from discussion when it is posted in a meta or analysis space as an analytical piece, which i do think applies to this take from what i remember about it and how it was tagged.

and back to the discussion of what's acceptable as far as directly responding versus vagueing, i mean, a lot of the discussion i've had on my blog (abt discourse etiquette in General in meta spaces on dreblr moreso than this specific situation, largely bc i did want to avoid commenting on a situation that 1) i really had no business in and 2) i have reason to be biased about. the main reason why i'm talking abt it now is bc hopefully enough time has passed for feelings to be less fraught and bc i want to make certain thoughts of mine clear, in case they weren't clear enough in my original posts abt dreblr and whatever) revolves around both direct responses and vagueing having their reasons as well as pros and cons, and both will likely continue to exist in analysis spaces and generally i don't think it's productive to really comment on what people can or can't do on their own blogs. in this scenario, i don't think "vagueing about one specific person in a way that may be clearly identifiable to parts of their audience" is uniquely unacceptable? a direct response very clearly would make the person in question identifiable -- outside of how it's kind of impossible to make a post vagueing someone in a way where No One has Any Idea who you might be talking about without making the post like, incoherent inherently, if vagueing (not identifiable) is okay and directly responding (identifiable) is okay, then why is vagueing (identifiable) not okay?

now, i understand that any situation where the person in question might be identifiable, some people may take the open disagreement as permission to harass them. and obviously, harassment sucks. part of the whole point of opening up this conversation on my blog was bc i worry, with the way that a single conflict between dsmp opinions has kind of rippled through dreblr recently and the responses to this "situation," that an environment is being created with too much of a forced global consensus that punishes people for stepping out of the status quo in both opinions and behavior, which is obviously bad for the whole community, and was looking to voice some of that and have a conversation on solutions. and i understand that in this situation, a lot of your problem with the blogger has to do with his general attitude in discussing the take and his statements on the person who made it. now, i think you have every right to find his statements offensive and disagreeable and to unfollow and/or block him. that being said, i am not exactly a PR agent, and i want to reiterate that what people do on their own blogs isn't my business and i don't think it should be my business. or uh, anyone's business, for that matter. i don't think that everyone "in dreblr" is beholden to keeping to a certain person's standard for "acceptable" disagreement and "acceptable" sharing of their own opinions on their own blog as long as they're not inciting harassment, which entails, like, actively encouraging harm to happen yk. i mean, you can think that the blogger was being rude or an asshole and prefer to never see him again, that's fine. that's your prerogative. but i mean, i'm not gonna tell the guy how to interact with the fandom on his own blog, haha.

to be clear, im not telling you what you can or can't do on your own blog either. if you wanna make a post about how his posts contain harmful rhetoric, how he's an idiot, or how he's rude bc you disagree with his public posts on this situation or on the dsmp as a whole, i mean, i'm not gonna handwring over it and tell you that you're not allowed to do that. it's none of my business, and i like to think i'm not that hypocritical. and honestly, i think that in a space where we're talking about analysis, commenting on harmful rhetoric happens often and should happen often when it happens -- literally anyone can make an analysis post that has harmful rhetoric, and sure it's fiction and no one has to answer to the analysis police for making a bad analysis post, but i've also been in this space and seen enough truly mind-boggling amounts of parroting takes about torture that make people sound like CIA psyops to go "well saying that someone's analysis post contains harmful rhetoric is really rude" pfft. again, i'm not saying i'm immune to hypocrisy, but i've certainly malded enough times in public about the shit people have said in this fandom to take issue with that. now, getting a little less into the strictly-analysis side of things, i understand that insults like calling someone an idiot may not sit right with everyone, to which i say. block to your heart's content. but c'mon man i've called people idiots before i'm no saint 😭😅

anyway. i hope this clarified some things, anon. take issue with whatever and whoever you like, honestly, whether that's me, the person that i just not-vagued for the last however many words, etc etc -- again, your prerogative. and i agree, it's a shame the situation devolved into stuff like insults in both bloggers' inboxes when it really didn't have to be like that like. at all.

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

possible npd (definitely one or more personality disorders) haver here. been trying to figure out what exactly The Curse is, and have considered AvPD, BPD, StPD, and NPD, although none of the official criteria seem to really fit the symptoms i have. most confusing ones are the following

really really wanting to do hugely impactful things and be seen as a hero but None of that attention can go to my actual self. the admiration i'm looking for is some kind of comic book superhero secret identity shit where everyone knows the great deeds my persona has done and praises them for it, but could meet me at the grocery store and have no idea

an extreme aversion to certain types of praise, reassurance, etc. to the point where i'll purposefully avoid visibly improving just to get around it. for example if you tell me "wow your art has improved so much!" i'll be skipping with joy for the next week, but if you tell me "you've been a lot more organized lately!" i'll want to kill you dead on the spot and start neglecting my living spaces again just to not hear that another time

related to above, sympathies like "i'm sorry that happened" and "i'm here if you need anything" make me Bloodthirsty. no i don't need your sorry-that-happeneds i don't need anything you're here for other than being my AITA comment section and saying NTA. in hindsight this seems obviously npd but shh

therapy didn't work on me due to this. i don't want to be cared about like a child i want to be STUDIED like a SPECIMEN. i will play so many games to avoid exposing myself to the person who is Paid to Know Me because if they try to care about me i'll start biting people. just put me under a microscope and tell me what my problem is. the rest is between me and god

randomly going through phases of hating everyone and wanting to mock and demean them for every little flaw and quirk i can pick out. if not that, just being unable to feel affection and internally responding to everything with the "oh my GOD i don't FUCKING CARE" meme clip. wanting to insult my own friends when they entrust me with their emotions. you know

checking my notifs all the time, being sad when people just like or reblog with mo commentary if i made a clever comment or tag. getting a "<- prev so true" or peer reviewed tags make me feel like i'm winning tumblr. idk do normal people also have this?

wanting to be the Most Oppressed Guy Ever all the time and getting irrationally upset and defensive when someone brings up a form of oppression i don't personally experience. oh you think i'm privileged? i'm better off than you and participating in oppressing you? you think i'm that? fuck you. i also have known ocd so this is a double curse

i am agonizingly envious of the guy who shot the health insurance ceo. he is the idealized fantasy of myself incarnate. this is less a separate point and more a summary of the first one but god. fuck. how am i supposed to live knowing this guy is everything i dream of being

ty in advance if you read all that and are willing to answer :3

hi! so, obligatory "i cannot diagnose anyone" disclaimer. that being said...fuck, do i resonate with a lot of this message! I feel like being adverse/avoidant to certain types of praise is actually peak NPD. bc, the thing with most pwNPD is...our ego is fake. so, thus, we'll believe that any and all compliments are fake, ESPECIALLY if we're co-morbid with a stereotypically "low self esteem" disorder like AVPD, etc. so therefore it's not at all uncommon for pwNPD to be want to be a separate personal from their successful, likable, etc, type. it's a common stereotype that all pwNPD want praise and compliments all the time, but that's not true! we don't all want that, and even those who do always want that, oftentimes want it in a way that's separate from our typical selves.

similarly, npd doesn't always mean Being Jealous Of The Most Successful Person Of All Time. Like you said, sometimes it's just wanting attention on social media or being jealous of (the iconic) healthcare assassin lol. the idea that NPD envy is based in success and success only is just not true, sometimes we just wish we had as much attention as someone else, and that's valid too!

[im-a-king-baby]

Hi!

I'm done with my re-reading of ELYN, and THE line I will keep with me is this one :

“I don’t want anything from you.”

Simon pulls back to look at him. He’s applied concealer to the bags under his eyes, this close Wilhelm can see the streaks of it on his skin as he gives a weak smile. “You want the most of anyone.” Which isn’t fair and isn’t true. Except that it is. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Yeah,” Simon says. “That.”

This is sooo powerful ! The weight of the expectations of your loved one... 😭❤😭❤

And I would love to know why Simon gave Wille a key for his room... What was he expecting ?

And if it's not too much, what do you think made August get clean and turn his back to royalty ?

Again, thank you so much for this story ! ❤

Hiii, sorry this took so long. Can't believe I am expected to work a job instead of just having fanfic related feelings on tumblr all day every day. Very rude. None stars.

(if your ask is in my inbox I promise I am getting to it! If you still want to submit questions for any of the memes I reblogged, I will happily ramble all day every day so the ask box is always open <3 )

"I just want you to be happy."

(I need you all to know that doing this meme is really reinforcing the 'a first draft does not have to be perfect or even good' mantra because guess what was also not in draft 1! All of this!)

There is a side of Simon's character that I think is justified in canon which is that he doesn't like letting people down. He switches schools to support Sara, he agrees to date Marcus even though he clearly doesn't want to because Marcus asks. So this moment starts with Simon talking about how he started on coke because he didn't want to let the fans down by being exhausted. Originally there was another step in the middle where he talks about how Candace wanted him to get clean but also be the superstar (and do a documentary!) and he couldn't see a way to have both. And then that his breakthrough was hiring Joseph, and Keira and realising that having money means you can pay people to care about you in very specific ways.

Wilhelm swallows. “Sometimes people help you just because they want to.” Simon’s mouth quirks slightly off to the side, like Wilhelm’s said something amusing. “That’s what they tell you. But they always want something from you, you just don’t realise what until it’s too late.” “I don’t want anything.”

Wilhelm I think genuinely believes that he's telling the truth here, but Simon has had to become a lot more aware of how he is perceived and the expectations of him from having this very public career. Like, for all Wilhelm saying 'you can take time, the fans won't disappear if it takes you more than 2 months to make an album', Simon has also seen the fan tweets complaining when the tour skips certain cities/countries, when they have to wait for the album, when they don't release a tour vlog. (One of the big reasons he doesn't have a phone is to stop him from reading all of that because at a certain point you can't satisfy everyone and Candace is like 'this is not helping you so let's put a stop to it.')

So in this moment Wilhelm is saying 'I don't want anything' but also he wants them to be together and happy and Simon is very aware that the easiest way for him to be happy is by drinking and taking the drugs. He's spent the last week and a half in coke withdrawal which is basically just being miserable all the time and going into rehab is going to be more of that. And then, the Simon who comes out of rehab is going to be very different from Simme-the-popstar and different to Simon-from-high-school and current-Simon has no idea what that person will look like or if it will even be someone Wilhelm likes.

So for Simon getting clean means getting away from anyone else's idea of who he should be. And that's hard. And sometimes you hit on the perfect line to articulate what would otherwise be 5 paragraphs of rambling tumblr post and those moments are the best part of writing for all that they come so rarely <3 (and also they do not always come in draft 1 and that's okay)

2. Why does Simon invite Wilhelm to the hotel room

I think SImon's base logic is the same as why Wilhelm went, this sense of 'if we can get away from the cameras we can be Us instead of Simme and Crown Prince Wilhelm and things will make sense again.' But on top of that is this thing that Simon is doing where he is attempting to use sex to solve his problems (arguably this desire is coming from the same place as the drinking and the coke. It's the 'I don't know how to feel good when I'm not performing, but if I invite someone up they'll tell me I'm amazing and then we can have orgasms and that'll feel good for a little while').

So Simon is thinking 'I need to see him in private' but then he doesn't have any plan beyond that so it's back to the usual plan of sex=feeling good, with a side line in 'if I give him a good enough time he won't notice anything weird or ask any questions and everything will be fine.'

(I do have a while Simon POV scene of the hotel after Wilhelm leaves that will probably be posted somewhere at some point so here is a teaser:

Wilhelm must have left by now. And if part of Simon was hoping that he’d still be there when Simon opened the door - so SImon could say what, he doesn’t know - that part is quiet enough not to show surprise when there’s just Gareth in the hallway in his perfectly pressed suit with his perfectly neutral gaze. Does Gareth feel emotion? Nobody knows. He has all of one facial expression so if he’s judging Simon for bringing the prince of Sweden up to his rooms or judging him for failing to keep the prince of Sweden there for longer than an hour, or not judging him at all because he has full respect for the whore lifestyle, Simon never has to know.

3. August

Oh hey! I thought this choice might get me more hate so thanks to everyone for coming on board with me for the off-screen August redemption arc 😅

So fundamentally ELYN (and, yknow, YR) is a story about legacy and inheritance. Both the big glaringly obvious thing of the crown, but also the other things: the secrets, the class culture, and the genetic predisposition to addiction. (I can't remember right now if August's father's suicide was drug-related in the show, but for the fic I definitely had that in my mind).

So August functions as a parallel for both Simon and Wilhelm. The obvious 'was taking drugs to cope with stress, stress kept increasing, ultimately broke under it' . But also on Wilhelm's side, August is desperately trying to live up to the legacy of a dead man. He's idolising his father, wanting to make him proud and unable to acknowledge that this culture of appearing perfect and not talking about problems is what killed him.

The way I always pictured August's arc was that he hit rock bottom somewhere in the military - he'd been relying on pills to get him through stress, this was infinitely more stress than high school, plus the fallout from Sara's confession (which had been covered up by the court, but was still impacting him). I never had a concrete idea of what the exact rock bottom was (maybe stealing pills?), but he was dishonorably discharged and checked himself into rehab where he basically got a big dose of Welcome to Real Life. Meeting normal people. Realising they're not so different. 'There's a whole world out there that's not our careful circle of cultivated Heirs and Heiresses and people have problems but they also have whole entire lives where none of these things you're so worried about matter at all.'

And he did the work. He re-evaluated his biases. He grew up. He met a girl, who I think was class-adjacent but more practical than the Hillerska-royalty types (I like to think she was maybe an art assessor who came to help him auction off large parts of the estate holdings) and they got talking. Their relationship seems to have moved pretty fast, but hey August took some pride in the elements of being prefect that involved taking care of people so maybe he's ready for a family. (Originally there were going to be 8 years between the show and the fic so I gave him 3 kids, and then when I cut it down to 6years it felt mean to delete a baby so that's why he has twins.)

The 12 step program has a step for 'making amends', I think August probably got in touch with Wilhelm and was like 'I owe you an apology and amends, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me but if I can ever help you or Simon, I'm here.' And that went ignored until Wilhelm called him from basic training, and then five years later when he got a call from Simon in hospital like 'So Malin gave me your number...'

One other bonus August ELYN headcanon I have is that Wilhelm phoned August from the car on his way to the debate and was like:

"I think if I do it now I can bring it all down, but if I can't they're going to come after you, and then the children. I'm sorry I can't protect them anymore." "It's my job to look after my family," August says. "And I promise I will not let any of this shit touch them. You have my full support, go do what you have to do."

(there is a whole other tumblr post about how I don't believe in writing bad people just people who sometimes make bad choices but this is already Very Long and I'm not sure if I actually answered the questions so we'll leave it there 😅)

[flamingplay]

Was tagged a long ago by @restedlimbs, @photoshop-pharaoh and @blueberry-beanie (Tumblr notifs said so, even though I don't really see that tag in the post, so sorry if that was a mistake!) to answer this questionnaire game. Thank you once again for making my day everyone and have a lovely weekend <3

What's the origin of your blog title?: Oooh... That is inspired by Up&Up's line "believe in love", where love equals to Coldplay

OTP(s) + ship names: Have never been a shipper, so nothing to say

Favorite color: answered previously xD

Favorite game: Not really a gamer myself either... The last PC game I've ever played was GTA with my back then close friend when we were around 11? lol

Song stuck in your head: One of Us by ABBA

Weirdest habit/trait?: Lately I have imaginary conversations in my head with people I can't reach out to and I often catch myself gesticulating while that or making strange faces, I think several people noticed that and looked like O_O tf?

Hobbies: embroidering, collecting music and memorabilia, reading, pretending I can sing lol

If you work, what's your profession?: currently obtaining another degree, so no profession yet

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: music marketer

Something you're good at: passing exams with mostly A's during the tough shit in my life that often happens just on the exam week, and the last time it was just several minutes before the exam :)

Something you're bad at: recognising traumatic patterns on the early stages, detaching from people, processing anger/hurt

Something you love: quiet days in my country/city, museums, art, music, owls, concerts, dressing up for special events, nuts, berries, mature cheese, jewellery, handmade things, spring, less humid weather than here lol, presents that are about things I love / am associated with, funny stories about the history of fashion and series about the devil Sirozha by Helga Zubchevska, insightful interviews with my faves, exchanging music recommendations, something that feels very nice tactile-wise, hugs, compliments on my abilities, people who show the same level of vulnerability as me, discovering new places to eat, discovering some new interesting concepts, creating things from scratch, being in the nature, being asked for advice/opinion about something I know, being trusted for solving a problem together, feeling included and valued.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: AURORA, Coldplay, EE, Flo, paintings I saw irl, creative ideas I never made true xD

Something you hate: wars and everyone connected to that, people that are in high positions and pretend to be gods, people that have a consumeristic - egoistic approach towards friendships and relationships, the heated moments when people who have a not informed opinion about something confidently argue as if they know something for certain, the absolutely traumatising moments when I'm vulnerable and open up to people who in some time betray this (well, one of them openly said "call it a betrayal" so can't disagree with an OP, yknow) and me in general, the absolutely devastating moments when people don't know what they want and demand/expect something from you (sometimes even use you) to figure that out.

Something you collect: CDs, vinyl records, tourbooks, books, magazines, art postcards, letters from my friends, silver rings (apparently I collect them by now lol), rare concert moments when I'm so emotional so that I'm noticed and I cherish this... Obviously also heartbreaks and traumas lol

Something you forget: lately student's ID with a subway card

What's your love language?: giving exactly what a person wants or needs as a present (making presents in general), compromising when I disagree with something, giving a person as much time as they need/want to express something they feel strongly about, seeing off a person to a place they want to go and where I initially didn't plan to go, going to places/events that are important for a person I love just to see them being happy, exchanging fave content, exchanging food to try out or wanting to cook special something for them, cuddling, possibly having puppy eyes (idk myself, that's what I was told on how I looked like) when I want some affection expressed towards me?

Favorite movie/show?: Black Books, Inception, Green Book, Mr. Robot, Inception, concert movies/docs, Side Effects, a couple of old Ukrainian movies, more I don't remember currently lol

Favorite food: holubtsi, pita, anything with seafood, steamed buns, verenyky with cherries, various salads, cheese plate with de-alcoholised wine, lots to list here and I gotta stop somewhere tbh

Favorite animals: owls!!

What were you like as a child?: a quiet loner who had to become an adult a bit too early.

Favorite subject in school: English, art, crafts, first year of physics, chemistry, biology

Least favorite subject in school: oh goodness, geometry, trigonometry, choreography (we were physically abused there for having sth wrong that's why), sketching some weirdass house constructions and mechanical details on a special paper idk the accurate translation for such subject as it exists only in my country lol

What's your best character trait?: being reliable and empathetic

What's your worst character trait?: demanding justice and going over the top for getting it from people who are unable to do any justice, also, as a result, not letting go more than often until it exhausts both me and the others completely

If you could change any detail about your day, what would it be?: not studying today at all lol

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: there are lots of ideas, like different eras of my fave musicians, but rn it feels like answering that I'd want to travel to see myself being happy for more than 1 hour and achieving something important for me in, hopefully, some distant future, so that I don't feel like giving up on my life rn lol

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): don't read them, so no recommends, sorry!

[anaridgrassland]

3 or 11 (or both :D) from the Rook and their partner asks?

Sorry this is quite late, I was quite busy last week and really not sure how I wanted to write this either... I'd started and then tumblr ate it like I could not win lol. So I rewrote what I could remember today!

How long does it take for them to officially get together? Did any of the other Lighthouse members have any suspicions beforehand?

It's almost sounds like a bad joke really. “Two demisexual virgin disasters walk into a cafe…” Honestly, Isabella and Lucanis danced around each other so much, their interest in each other was almost instantaneous, and yet every step towards each other one of them would always take a few steps back. So of course everybody else knew about their interest in each other before they did.

The most notable ones however would be Taash and Emmrich.

Taash had taken note of how oblivious Lucanis seemed to be with people who showed interest in him, so they took it upon themself to ask if he'd even noticed the ribbon seller was into him, amused by how completely taken aback he was. Then while Spite was having his tantrum about the hypocrisy of when it is and isn't appropriate to talk about how people smell, Taash noticed a new smell in the air themself. Something sour and acrid. They turned to Isabella and noticed the furrow between her brow, how her lips were tightened in a slight frown and tension in her shoulders than hadn't been there before the topic was brought up. Ah, so that's what jealousy smelled like?

Emmrich of course knew full well about the tension between the two of them, and not just because he was the companion Isabella choice to join them the most, enjoying having a fellow Mourn Watcher to converse with, especially theorizing about Spite and ways to help them out. Isabella tended to go to Emmrich most for advice, seeing him as the wise professor he is and the only one that would understand how her mind worked. She spent most of her time studying spirits and funeral rights, human connections were not something she'd ever had to worry about.

And when Lucanis decided to at least express interest in return, he went to Emmrich first for advice. Mostly asking about the food in Nevarra and what she might potentially like, but Emmrich was also the one to encourage him when he was unsure of his first gift to her. Gripping the wrapped spellblade in his hands, glaring at it as he debated if he was really about to try this again, he didn't think he could handle another rejection like this. Maybe he should have gotten something nice, but Isabella and him have been training for weeks on her dagger skills, and she expressed enough interst in wanting to fight with her spell blade more. Emmrich had come over and brought Lucanis out of his spiralling thoughts with a first hand on his shoulder. “She'll be thrilled you know?“ He offered Lucanis a reassuring smile in return of the skeptical brow Lucanis raised at him. ”She'll enjoy anything you would give her I'm sure, don't over think it,” and he gently nudged Lucanis through the threshold of the doorway into the small library and turned to head upstairs to his own room to give them some space. He smiled to himself when he heard the gasp and excited rambling from her before his door closed as he turned to Manfred and mused, “Sounds like that gift went over perfectly.”

Who says "I love you" first? What is the other's reaction? Who thinks it first?

Now, why haven't I answered when they officially got together yet? Well because that and 11 are pretty much the same answer.

I'm sure both of them felt their feelings growing more and more over time, both unsure if it was admiration, respect, devotion, just a really good friendship? I don't think either one of them were self aware enough to think it was love.

The two of them may have gotten closer and closer over the months, fighting alongside each other, and helping Lucanis through his demons, both figuratively and literal. Isabella had tried one evening, before the fight to tell him how she really felt, to make it as plain as day for the both of them, finally defining the tension they've been dancing around, but Lucanis was quick to silence her. It wasn't because he didn't want to hear it, it was purely his superstitions. He wanted to wait until the job was finished, both gods slain, so they would have all the time in the world ahead of them to enjoy each other's company peacefully. She tried not to take it as another rejection, but it was hard not to. She chose to let it go, they could figure it all out later, that's what she told herself. There were more important things to worry about right now than her feelings after all.

When she'd disappeared after the fight Lucanis was devastated. Completely at a loss, and Spite was losing his mind, ripping violently at the veil when he could desperate to find her again. When they finally pulled her back from the fade and he'd visited her in her room that evening, there was something different about her. Dealing with all that regret in such a short time (to her), any walls she'd had left came crumbling at the sight of the man she'd longed for. He'd asked how she was feeling, and after all that she couldn't find it in herself to deflect her feelings with humour anymore. Her eyes growing misty as she admitted she felt so lost, so alone from where she was, and Lucanis didn't hesitate this time. Wrapping her up in his embrace, and they both finally expressed their feelings for each other, leaving no more doubt between the two… three. Because Isabella loved Lucanis for all he was, every part of him, including Spite, and Spite was sure to let her know how he cared as well, with purple wings loosely wrapping around them both.

--

Sorry this is rather vague, there are a few points here that I actually want to write full fics about, so I didn't want to say too much.