#elyn spoilers

[im-a-king-baby]

Hi!

I'm done with my re-reading of ELYN, and THE line I will keep with me is this one :

“I don’t want anything from you.”

Simon pulls back to look at him. He’s applied concealer to the bags under his eyes, this close Wilhelm can see the streaks of it on his skin as he gives a weak smile. “You want the most of anyone.” Which isn’t fair and isn’t true. Except that it is. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Yeah,” Simon says. “That.”

This is sooo powerful ! The weight of the expectations of your loved one... 😭❤😭❤

And I would love to know why Simon gave Wille a key for his room... What was he expecting ?

And if it's not too much, what do you think made August get clean and turn his back to royalty ?

Again, thank you so much for this story ! ❤

Hiii, sorry this took so long. Can't believe I am expected to work a job instead of just having fanfic related feelings on tumblr all day every day. Very rude. None stars.

(if your ask is in my inbox I promise I am getting to it! If you still want to submit questions for any of the memes I reblogged, I will happily ramble all day every day so the ask box is always open <3 )

"I just want you to be happy."

(I need you all to know that doing this meme is really reinforcing the 'a first draft does not have to be perfect or even good' mantra because guess what was also not in draft 1! All of this!)

There is a side of Simon's character that I think is justified in canon which is that he doesn't like letting people down. He switches schools to support Sara, he agrees to date Marcus even though he clearly doesn't want to because Marcus asks. So this moment starts with Simon talking about how he started on coke because he didn't want to let the fans down by being exhausted. Originally there was another step in the middle where he talks about how Candace wanted him to get clean but also be the superstar (and do a documentary!) and he couldn't see a way to have both. And then that his breakthrough was hiring Joseph, and Keira and realising that having money means you can pay people to care about you in very specific ways.

Wilhelm swallows. “Sometimes people help you just because they want to.” Simon’s mouth quirks slightly off to the side, like Wilhelm’s said something amusing. “That’s what they tell you. But they always want something from you, you just don’t realise what until it’s too late.” “I don’t want anything.”

Wilhelm I think genuinely believes that he's telling the truth here, but Simon has had to become a lot more aware of how he is perceived and the expectations of him from having this very public career. Like, for all Wilhelm saying 'you can take time, the fans won't disappear if it takes you more than 2 months to make an album', Simon has also seen the fan tweets complaining when the tour skips certain cities/countries, when they have to wait for the album, when they don't release a tour vlog. (One of the big reasons he doesn't have a phone is to stop him from reading all of that because at a certain point you can't satisfy everyone and Candace is like 'this is not helping you so let's put a stop to it.')

So in this moment Wilhelm is saying 'I don't want anything' but also he wants them to be together and happy and Simon is very aware that the easiest way for him to be happy is by drinking and taking the drugs. He's spent the last week and a half in coke withdrawal which is basically just being miserable all the time and going into rehab is going to be more of that. And then, the Simon who comes out of rehab is going to be very different from Simme-the-popstar and different to Simon-from-high-school and current-Simon has no idea what that person will look like or if it will even be someone Wilhelm likes.

So for Simon getting clean means getting away from anyone else's idea of who he should be. And that's hard. And sometimes you hit on the perfect line to articulate what would otherwise be 5 paragraphs of rambling tumblr post and those moments are the best part of writing for all that they come so rarely <3 (and also they do not always come in draft 1 and that's okay)

2. Why does Simon invite Wilhelm to the hotel room

I think SImon's base logic is the same as why Wilhelm went, this sense of 'if we can get away from the cameras we can be Us instead of Simme and Crown Prince Wilhelm and things will make sense again.' But on top of that is this thing that Simon is doing where he is attempting to use sex to solve his problems (arguably this desire is coming from the same place as the drinking and the coke. It's the 'I don't know how to feel good when I'm not performing, but if I invite someone up they'll tell me I'm amazing and then we can have orgasms and that'll feel good for a little while').

So Simon is thinking 'I need to see him in private' but then he doesn't have any plan beyond that so it's back to the usual plan of sex=feeling good, with a side line in 'if I give him a good enough time he won't notice anything weird or ask any questions and everything will be fine.'

(I do have a while Simon POV scene of the hotel after Wilhelm leaves that will probably be posted somewhere at some point so here is a teaser:

Wilhelm must have left by now. And if part of Simon was hoping that he’d still be there when Simon opened the door - so SImon could say what, he doesn’t know - that part is quiet enough not to show surprise when there’s just Gareth in the hallway in his perfectly pressed suit with his perfectly neutral gaze. Does Gareth feel emotion? Nobody knows. He has all of one facial expression so if he’s judging Simon for bringing the prince of Sweden up to his rooms or judging him for failing to keep the prince of Sweden there for longer than an hour, or not judging him at all because he has full respect for the whore lifestyle, Simon never has to know.

3. August

Oh hey! I thought this choice might get me more hate so thanks to everyone for coming on board with me for the off-screen August redemption arc 😅

So fundamentally ELYN (and, yknow, YR) is a story about legacy and inheritance. Both the big glaringly obvious thing of the crown, but also the other things: the secrets, the class culture, and the genetic predisposition to addiction. (I can't remember right now if August's father's suicide was drug-related in the show, but for the fic I definitely had that in my mind).

So August functions as a parallel for both Simon and Wilhelm. The obvious 'was taking drugs to cope with stress, stress kept increasing, ultimately broke under it' . But also on Wilhelm's side, August is desperately trying to live up to the legacy of a dead man. He's idolising his father, wanting to make him proud and unable to acknowledge that this culture of appearing perfect and not talking about problems is what killed him.

The way I always pictured August's arc was that he hit rock bottom somewhere in the military - he'd been relying on pills to get him through stress, this was infinitely more stress than high school, plus the fallout from Sara's confession (which had been covered up by the court, but was still impacting him). I never had a concrete idea of what the exact rock bottom was (maybe stealing pills?), but he was dishonorably discharged and checked himself into rehab where he basically got a big dose of Welcome to Real Life. Meeting normal people. Realising they're not so different. 'There's a whole world out there that's not our careful circle of cultivated Heirs and Heiresses and people have problems but they also have whole entire lives where none of these things you're so worried about matter at all.'

And he did the work. He re-evaluated his biases. He grew up. He met a girl, who I think was class-adjacent but more practical than the Hillerska-royalty types (I like to think she was maybe an art assessor who came to help him auction off large parts of the estate holdings) and they got talking. Their relationship seems to have moved pretty fast, but hey August took some pride in the elements of being prefect that involved taking care of people so maybe he's ready for a family. (Originally there were going to be 8 years between the show and the fic so I gave him 3 kids, and then when I cut it down to 6years it felt mean to delete a baby so that's why he has twins.)

The 12 step program has a step for 'making amends', I think August probably got in touch with Wilhelm and was like 'I owe you an apology and amends, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me but if I can ever help you or Simon, I'm here.' And that went ignored until Wilhelm called him from basic training, and then five years later when he got a call from Simon in hospital like 'So Malin gave me your number...'

One other bonus August ELYN headcanon I have is that Wilhelm phoned August from the car on his way to the debate and was like:

"I think if I do it now I can bring it all down, but if I can't they're going to come after you, and then the children. I'm sorry I can't protect them anymore." "It's my job to look after my family," August says. "And I promise I will not let any of this shit touch them. You have my full support, go do what you have to do."

(there is a whole other tumblr post about how I don't believe in writing bad people just people who sometimes make bad choices but this is already Very Long and I'm not sure if I actually answered the questions so we'll leave it there 😅)

[mcheung]

also the duolingo sound lol i lost it 😭😭

[chuuuvi]

Chuang Asia Thailand Episode 1!

It’s been too long since I got into a survival show lol. I mean my last one was Girls Planet 999 and that was 2 years ago! So anyway I’ll be taking you all with me on this journey by posting the notes I took while watching the episode plus my current top 9. Spoilers ahead!!

•First off before you ask where I’m watching: it’s on the Tencent Video app and it’s free. Ooh and if you’re also watching pls let me know so we can talk about it together!

•I’m happy to see Nene as a mentor! I loved her when I watched Chuang 2020

•This is produced by Jackson Wang? They’ve got TEN??? Okay Chuang Asia I’m interested.

•Looking at the contestant list and of course there are 14 year olds. Don’t vote for the 14 year olds you guys. My personal age minimum for voting is gonna be 17 so I won’t consider anyone younger than that. Contestants that are over 18 get my preference though. The idol industry is bad enough for adults, I’d prefer if we didn’t debut minors as well. I know ironic coming from someone who ults Yeseo lol. (She was the youngest active kpop idol when she debuted in Busters.)

•Also they're really going hard with this being international. This makes Mnet look pathetic for what they did in Girls Planet lol.

•Oh the flirting part with Jasmine was so akwarrrrrrd. 100% secondhand embarrassment.

•I felt bad for Elyn when she was crying and said “No Filming!” But they proceeded to just zoom in on her crying face :( TURN THE CAMERA AWAY FROM HER!

•The trip.com ads are so funny to me because these survival show ads where they pretend to use a product are usually for stuff like snacks or beverages or makeup. But they’ve got these girls pretending to casually book a flight lmao

•The barbie group having only one member thats older than 16 and then proceeding to perform Barbie World where they say stuff like “that pussy so cold” and “he spank me when I get bad” -_- Someone should have made them pick another song.

•OOOH the Avex group’s performance of Left Right was great. Maybe the best of the episode although Mindy was really impressive too.

•Ilene’s little fan moment with Jackson was adorable!

•They announced the first top 9 but I feel like we’re still missing some performances?? Is that an editing thing to get that ranking in the first episode and we ares still going to get more next episode or did they just skip some people? Like I don’t think we saw Ruan and I was waiting for her. I could have sworn there were some CSR members too and I haven’t seen them perform either. I guess we’ll see.

• I watched the theme song on YouTube and it’s so cute!! Weird that it’s all about summer when this is airing in winter though. Is it summer in Thailand?? I thought they were above the equator. Okay yeah they are so idk why they’re singing a song about it being summer. Also I got spoiled for Ruan center! Now I know they wouldn’t just skip her. There’s got to be more intro round performances next episode.

•Okay so my Top 9 picks will be based on who performed in this first episode only so I’m sure it’ll change a lot after ep. 2.

1. R-Jing - She blew me away in the extra performance. Her singing was so pretty! She’s so cute too and apparently trained at SM?? I always latch onto a girl first episode and this is my girl!

2. Akina - Maybe it’s bc of her experience in her past group but she seems really comfortable on stage. I like her vibe and she’s clearly very talented. She seems really nice and down to earth.

3. Rinka - I looked back at her gp999 performances and I can see why I didn’t remember her. She seems to have improved so much though! Her voice stood out positively and she’s got some star power I didn’t see in her old performances. I’m excited to see more of this new Rinka!

4. Lissa - I don’t know how to feel about her strange vibe but I liked her performance. Lots of energy and a nice voice. I’m very intrigued by her at this point.

5. MingMing- such a clear and pretty voice!!! Her and Pangjang together were both the vocal highlights of their team’s performance but MingMing is the only one of the two thats over my voting age limit.

6. Mamcú - Really interesting and beautiful voice. Apparently she competed on the Voice?? We’ll need to wait and see how she does with dancing but she seems really earnest about her desire to he an idol not just a singer so I’ll put my faith in her!

7. Shye - We barely got to see her performance but I was intrigued by what we saw. I don’t know if she can dance yet but I’ll find out soon enough. And lets be real, I have a lil crush on her and thats enough to get you in the top 9 at this point in the game. I mean look at her in her leather jacket!

8. Emma - Her dancing was great and she choreographs her own stuff too! I was really impressed by her dance skills both in her extra performance and the dance battle!

9. Tegan - gorgeous gorgeous deep voice! She’s so pretty too! I really liked her but I have no idea if she can dance. I feel like if she could she would have shown it since she got two performances so I’m hesitant.

Honorable Mentions:

Krista Shim - I’m not voting for Krista because she’s under the age I decided on being my voting limit but honestly I’d put money on her making it to the final group. You can just tell with these shows. It's in the way they edit it.

Mao Xiu Ling & Mao Xiu Ting - Of course we have a pair of twins! I’ve always loved this survival show gimmick. I love their look and their dance together was really cool! 

Kaylen - The other half of the Hawaiian Duo! Kaylen pulling Jackson Wang up to the stage with her was such a power move. I didn’t like her solo performance as much as her partner Tegan’s though

Praew- I liked her energy when she introduced herself and then her dancing was insane! I will not be voting for her because she’s 15. She's just a baby.

[spoilertagged]

TAG 8 PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

( repost, don’t reblog. )

tagged by:  the babe @aenarchy tagging:  @adaptxble​, @favdream​, @maraonlaidre​, @magicxecustos​, u reading this

ONE ( NAME / ALIAS ):  hem(elyn). some call me annoying, too TWO ( BIRTHDAY ):  oct 24 THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ):  scorpio! FOUR ( HEIGHT ):  162cm/5′3″ FIVE ( HOBBIES ):  reading and writing I GUESS, annoying my cat, doing my make up, doing OTHER PEOPLE’S make up and hair SIX ( FAVOURITE COLOUR(S) ):  turquoise, pink, black SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ):  books are boring and i’m too pretty :/ (blatant religious connotations apart, i still love the narnia books to this day sjdcbdj) EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ):  all the things she said by t.a.t.u NINE ( LAST FILM WATCHED ):  that new serenity movie with anne hathaway and matthew mcconaughey, i think?? TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ):  that juicy 90s comics content ELEVEN ( DREAM JOB ):  ice cream connoisseur, but i’m lactose intolerant so i’ll take anything i can get :( TWELVE ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ):  spoilers. being tagged. @spoilerized​ came up with it, so all credit to him for being more clever than me, bye.

[feywildatheart]

Nenîth,

Today was not a good day. And I'm drunk. And Cloudleaper is trying to make me watch some dragonborn show that she and Elyn are both familiar with, and I tried, but I'm still thinking about the hydra.

Spoilers, I suppose, but that's what Eheba's sea creature turned out to be. A hydra, with five heads and a penchant for trying to capsize boats, and now it's dead and we're not and I should be glad for that, at least, but I still can't help feeling like I did something wrong. Any of the alternatives would have been just as much of a mistake, I think, but that doesn't make this feel like less of one.

We went to meet with Eheba yesterday morning, once we'd all had some time to bounce back a bit from getting beaten up by the crocodiles, and to ask him about the trouble he'd been having. He said that it seemed to be territorial, that as soon as he approached a certain place in the water it would start attacking his boat ferociously, and that it seemed to be having a detrimental effect on the fish population in the area. We agreed to help at once, of course, and he offered to take us out in his boat. Elyn and I both wanted to talk to Alorvin before we left, too, to see if she didn't have any tricks up her sleeve that might help us while we were on the water, so we made plans with Eheba to leave the next morning with the tide, and on our way out we stopped by a little shrine to Aluarashi that they'd set up behind the science center, and Elyn left an offering of some wiring that I think she pulled from the shield guardian on Honione, and asked for aid or guidance or information, and Aluarashi must have liked the offering because Elyn said that they just poured information into her head like water into a glass. She looked very disconcerted afterwards, but once she'd recovered herself she told us the information that Aluarashi had given her: that the creature had to surface to breathe, that it was native to Nosirion-1 but usually lived in the deeper water, that it wasn't attacking maliciously, that it had found itself in a place it didn't belong and most of the problems were caused because it didn't understand what was going on.

We found Alorvin outside of the settlement, mostly because we spotted Nalira flying overhead and followed the one to the other. She was glad to see us and to meet Cloudleaper, and I cast speak with animals so that I could talk to Nalira and see how she was doing. She seemed well enough, and she and Alorvin seem to be getting along well, and Alorvin was glad enough to offer to cast a spell on the group of us that would let us all breathe underwater, should we end up there, though she said she'd need to stay close to us all in order to maintain the spell, so we made plans for her to meet us at the docks when we were to meet Eheba, and then spent the rest of the day without much to occupy ourselves. I ended up spending a good portion of it down at the water's edge, getting soaked as I practiced shooting my bow underwater, to see if it was even possible. It is, it turns out, though it's difficult, and I felt like a child again, struggling to get my arrows anywhere near even the broadest of targets. I spent the whole afternoon there, trying to get my hands and my eyes adjusted the differences in shooting in water instead of air, and Squirt spent it all with me, happily splashing through the shallows and blinking back and forth to go take targets out for me to aim at, or retrieving my arrows. I told him I had a pack full of them, but I think he was doing it mostly for the fun of it, so I couldn't bring myself to stop him entirely.

We met Eheba and Alorvin down at the docks at midmorning, and headed off together in Eheba's hovercraft. He warned us when we were getting near to the place where he'd seen the creature before, and we all kept our eyes on the water, searching for any sign of it. I called out a warning to everyone when I saw a dark shape in the water, rushing toward us, and even then we only had a moment to try to brace ourselves.

Eheba had said that it seemed more like a monster than a beast, so I hadn't had much hope from the start that I could try to talk to it and find out why it was here, and how to help it. But I was hoping to try, even so. We didn't get a chance, though, because it was attacking us and the boat almost at once, certainly before I could speak the words of any spell. And so there was nothing for it but to fight back, to try to save ourselves and Eheba's boat.

I didn't end up in anybody's mouth this time, at least, though the hydra spent a good portion of the fight with at least two of its heads focused on me, since I kept raining arrows at it. Mostly, though, it seemed focused on the boat, and even dove down once until we could scarcely see it. I hung out over the edge of the boat, looking for it and feeling with my magic, and realized that it had done so to position itself directly beneath the boat, and I scarcely managed to shout a warning to the others before it came up from underneath and tried to capsize the boat, and knocked Elyn and Alorvin and Eheba off into the water in the process. I managed to keep my feet beneath me, thankfully, as did Squirt and Cloudleaper, and we continued fighting it from the boat while Elyn threw magic at it from the water.

And then it dove again, with incredible speed, and it was moving away, not under the boat again this time, though I didn't even have the chance to really notice or consider that at the time. Maybe it was running away to nurse its wounds. Maybe it was gathering itself up to come back for another attack like it had before. Maybe it was fleeing into the deeper waters where it ought to have been in the first place. I don't know, and I won't ever, because Elyn threw a shatter spell after it, and I dove into the water and shot at it (all that practice the day before came in handy, though I'm not sure now if I'm glad for it or not), and between the two of us we killed it. Twice in as many days, we set out to try to help the settlement with a problem they'd been having, that they'd have preferred to have dealt with in a non-lethal manner, and both times I killed it. And I don't know what I could have done differently in either situation, when the crocodiles were well-set on eating us and the hydra-- Well. The hydra seemed particularly focused on the boat, and so maybe it thought it was a threat of some sort, and would have left us alone if we hadn't thrown arrows and spells at it. Maybe it would have left us alone once it had disabled the boat, or maybe it would have swallowed us all down for a snack. Maybe it would have fled back to the deeper waters where it belonged, or maybe it would have nursed its wounds and gone right back to attacking anyone who came too near. Maybe, even if it learned to be wary of boats after us, it would have continued to deplete the fish populations until the entire ecosystem was destroyed, and in sparing one creature we'd have doomed thousands more to starvation.

I don't know, and I can't know, and I'm not sure I would have done anything differently but I still don't feel good about what we did. What I did. I tried to apologize to Eheba, but he mostly shrugged it off. Alorvin offered to buy us a round of drinks back at Drime's, and Elyn countered by offering to buy the second, and so now I'm drunk and it's not even helping.

I was so glad to get to come back here and see all our friends again, and now I just feet like we've come blundering in and ruined everything, and I almost wish we hadn't come at all. Maybe they would've found a peaceable way to drive off the crocodiles, if we hadn't. Maybe the hydra would've found its way back to deeper water and realized it liked things better down there.

Or maybe it would've drowned Eheba one day, and maybe the crocodiles would've eaten somebody, and we'd be crying over lost friends and wishing we'd known to come and help them before it reached that point.

I don't know.

I probably shouldn't send this. It's just going to make you both unhappy on my behalf, and I'm not sure I deserve it. In any case, there's no point in all three of us being unhappy. But I'm too drunk to do the sensible thing, and I've had enough of these worries spinning around in my head all evening. Maybe if I send it, they'll leave me alone long enough that I can get to sleep.

Probably not, but I'm going to try.

I love you, nenîth. I'm sorry this isn't a happier letter.

Maliah

[sovinly]

samyazaz replied to your post “It’s probably not good how quickly and completely I get attached to my...”

for what it's worth I was thinking about the whole where-do-you-guys-want-to-play-in-this-sandbox-next and the prospect of leaving Mir behind and got really sad at the idea of not being able to pop in on Athan and Kian

Awwww! I am glad you like the space husbands! (I am very fond of them, in case that wasn’t totally and dreadfully obvious) But yeah, it’ll definitely be sad when you can’t pop in to say hi (*cough*and heavily imply you’re going to go commit murder but hey *cough*)

theladyragnell replied to your post “It’s probably not good how quickly and completely I get attached to my...”

I definitely want to ask you about gnomish superstitions but I feel like it might be spoilers. Also you're wonderful.

Aww, you’re wonderful too! <3

And okay, some of those miiiiight be spoilers, but you miiiiight have a chance of finding out what Elyn does/doesn’t know about some of those here at some point soonish! But there are definitely non-spoilery/spoilers elided Gnomish superstitions!* E.g.:

Many gnomes firmly believe that you should not name your children after tools, because that’s just inviting bad luck!**

Most Gnomish ships carry talismans of a particular constellation, and it’s considered good luck to touch it as you pass (even gnomes who aren’t generally superstitious have been known to do this).

You should keep the first thing your child makes and gift it back to them when they’re an adult, because a first creation has significant emotional value!

In Gnomish cultures where marriage (with cohabitation) are a thing, it is often considered auspicious for spouses to give one another new nicknames on the wedding day!

There is a very old, old superstition that the first nickname parents give their child (while they’re still gestating/are just born and not Officially Named) is held close to the soul, and, if you use that nickname while attempting a resurrection/greater restoration, you have a better chance of calling that person back to themselves.

It is good luck/does not bring bad luck to transform a gift from your ancestors into part of a new creation (especially if you give it to a younger family member in turn)!

Naming vessels (space, water, or otherwise) for Real People with good/applicable qualities is good luck - you guys probably learned over the last few days, but the Seles Emsel is named for Mink’s great-great-grandmother, a notoriously lucky woman.

To the gnomes of Lambda Concordia, with their honeycomb architectural structure, it’s considered auspicious if there are thriving beehives near a newly-built home.

Material that doesn’t take transmutation well/the results of failed transmutation are sometimes considered unlucky, or likely to bring or signal ill luck.

Gnomish teenagers in many places definitely have a silly game/have heard rumors that if you cast an illusory shadow, you can make out the first letter of the name of your crush/future partner/person who has a crush on you.

* With the caveat that there is, of course, a wide variety of cultures and things vary, etc etc.

** Whether this is because Weird Laws of the Universe or just because gnomes have realized that naming a kid after a tool usually ends up with a kid feeling pressured to take up a certain vocation, which is generally uncool. Nicknames are cool though, kids have like 50 of those, it’s not gonna scar them for life unless you are being shitty about it.

... This was going to be like three bullet points and then this happened. WHOOPS. ANYWAY THERE’S SOME GNOME SUPERSTITIONS.

WORLDBUILDING. \o/

[im-a-king-baby]

Hey, I love ELYN 😭❤️

So my two fave scenes/ moments were the 'keep of the lake house for now' and 'I've been in love with him since' so any commentary will be amazing. Any extra stuff will be amazing so 🪻please 😊

Hiii <3

Gonna put these 3 under a cut because length

“So hold onto that lake house for a while longer,” he says. “Okay?”

Context: i wrote the majority of the first draft of ELYN for Nanowrimo in 2022 (basically a challenge where you write a 50k novel in the month of November) and then I rewrote and edited it over a bunch of months.

So this chapter was actually very similar to the original draft, except that in Draft 1 all of the vote fallout was in one chapter which had the Simon scene first then the Nils scene. In the editing/developing process all the non-Wilhelm characters grew a lot so I knew I wanted to expand Nil's role, and add some more Felice which meant I could bump Simon into his own chapter.

(there was absolutely not meant to be a giant posting gap between the Nils scene and the Simon scene. To be completely honest if I'd known I was going to need that long to finish the fic off I'd probably have chosen to put the gap immediately after the debate because... tension 😈)

The main places where the Simon scene got extended was in the details - Simon's life and career was not well thought through in draft 1 and a lot of the extra length across the whole fic came from building that up - but the lakehouse beat was always there because it was important that Simon's rehab process had to be something he did independent of Wilhelm, so this idea of Wilhelm offering up this house and Simon rejecting it, then clarifying that it's a 'not yet' but hopefully one day when he's in a better place.

Wilhelm's 'I keep thinking about the last time you went to L.A.' was not in the original and was one of those character beats that didn't come to me until months later, but that really pulled together Wilhelm's feelings at that moment and his reluctance to let Simon leave, and that then led really nicely back into Simon saying hang on to the house, because hopefully its not goodbye this time.

“Keira asked what was different about you,” Simon says. “I said: I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen, and I have been in love with him every day since.”

Okay so this part was possibly the slowest part of the fic to write mostly because I was still figuring out how to articulate this ending which was meant to be optimistic but not magic-wand-everything's-fixed-now. This line in particular came about because I was trying to find where Simon was sitting emotionally and ended up writing a very short therapy in L.A. scene in which Simon dropped this line and I was immediately like 'well, that has to get into the main story.'

It's a nice parallel to Wilhelm's 'I'm never going to stop being in love with him.' in chapter 8, and it highlights that the issues between them have never been a lack of love or not wanting to be together, it's always been these outside forces that they need to break away from.

Also its one of those lines that you write down and then you read it and you're like 'people are gonna quote this one back at me' and its nice when you get that right 😅

And on that theme, your 🪻 is:

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” This is the worst part of therapy. “Wilhelm.” Keira’s eyebrows twitch slightly, which is the only reaction he ever gets and means he’s surprised her. “We haven’t spoken much about Wilhelm, not since you asked if you could text him. Are you ready to tell me more about what happened between you?” “You could check the tabloids.” Her ‘you know that’s not what I meant’ look reminds him of Candace, except that she hasn’t figured out how to also convey ‘and I’m disappointed and you’re exhausting and you’d be nothing without me.’ “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” Simon absolutely can’t look at her. “I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen,” he says. “And I’ve been in love with him every day since. He’s the one I think about every time I sing a love song. Still. I have slept with - I don’t know, hundreds? - of people since I left Sweden and none of it meant anything, compared to him.” “What was it like, seeing him again?” He’d been drinking steadily in the car on the way to the benefit concert so that he’d be able to smile and read a teleprompter and not just stand there staring but it was a close thing. After his performance they’d swept him into a room where he drank champagne and smiled for the cameras. Wilhelm had touched a fingertip to his bare shoulder and Simon had wanted him so badly it hurt in places he’d thought could no longer feel anything. He doesn’t have words for that, except that it was like being in love. “He showed me I could do this,” Simon says instead. “That I could get out. That these systems we were caught up in weren’t infallible.” She frowns very slightly. “Do you think he spoke out against the monarchy for you?” Maybe? He offered once. On a cold night in his ridiculous scarf in so many words that it was Ayub who figured out what he was getting at after he’d walked away. But, no. “He did it for him. Because he needed it. And I did this for me. But there couldn’t be an ‘us’ before. Because of all those things getting in the way. And now… and maybe we both did it a bit for that. For love. Or whatever.”

[im-a-king-baby]

🪷

Hi! I cannot see this emoji because apparently I need to update several of my devices but I am going to ASSUME it is a flower. <3

Your snippet is about Laura (aka the fan who drove Simon to Bjarstad at the end of a very strange day)

Laura is pretty sure she’s dreaming. The entire night has had this air of unreality and now there’s this boy sitting in her passenger seat staring out the window in a white hoodie several sizes too big.

“What was your name?” he asks.

They’ve been driving for twenty minutes. This is the first thing he’s said since he offered to have sex with her and she said, “Um, no thank you?” like the most awkward person in history.

Google maps says it’s still nearly two hours to Bjarstad. And she can’t put on music because the car only has a CD player and the only CDs she has are Simme albums and Simme is sitting in her passenger seat. “Laura. Laura Andersson.”

He nods. “Hi.”

So fucking surreal. “Hi.”

“Were you looking for me?”

“What?”

“Looking for me,” he repeats. “Like, did Twitter say where I was so you went to find me?”

For a second she’s insulted at the implication, but when she glances over he doesn’t look angry, just tired. Resigned. Like he expects her to say yes.

And she’s seen all the news footage of crowds around the Grand hotel. She was looking on Twitter after the show for other fans talking about the new song but instead it was all people asking where the crew had moved to, rumours about different hotels. “No,” she says. “I was -” she pauses, trying to plan the sentence and tripping up on several words. Funnily enough high school language classes never covered ‘adulterous asshole’. Or maybe they did, she wasn’t great at paying attention. “I don’t know how to say it in English.”

“Oh,” he sounds surprised, like he’d forgotten where he was in between playing the show and now, and switches. “Swedish is fine. Sorry.” His Swedish accent is a bit rough, just like on stage, but he speaks it easily enough. Of course he does, he grew up here.

“I know you don’t like it,” she says.

He laughs softly, at a joke he doesn’t bother to share, letting his head thud against the passenger window. “Did I say that?”

He’s still speaking Swedish, so she switches because translating everything at 3am while her ears are still ringing and she’s driving an unfamiliar route into the middle of nowhere is going to give her a headache. “You gave an interview once where you said you wish you could forget Swedish so that you could forget everything that happened in Sweden.”

“Oh.” He touches his hoodie pocket, like he needs to reassure himself that it’s still there. “I probably shouldn’t have said that.”

“Is it true?”

He glances sideways at her, possibly looking at her properly for the first time. “Sometimes,” he says. Whatever that means. “So where were you headed, before?”

“I was looking for a hostel. I was supposed to be staying with my boyfriend - I’m from Gothenburg and he’s from Stockholm but he comes over a lot for work. Then he texts me after the show started like ‘actually my wife has decided not to take the kids to her mother’s so you’ll have to get a hotel.’ And obviously I called him and he goes ‘I thought you knew I was married’ like obviously I did not. And the wife doesn’t know about me so all this time I’ve been a fucking homewrecker or something. Anyway all the hotels were booked out from the concert so I was looking for this hostel I saw online in the hope they might have a bed free and then I saw you.”

And she pulled over to check if he was alright and to ask if she could drive him somewhere - half wondering if she could maybe negotiate a room at his hotel, or at least a couch to crash on and somewhere to park overnight - and he’d climbed in and asked if she knew a town called Bjarstad.

It’s kind of on her way home, only adds an hour or so to the overall drive time. And when she’d unsubtly mentioned that she’d need to sleep at some point, he’d dropped that he owned a house there. In some middle-of-nowhere town in Sweden, a country he supposedly hasn’t been back to in nearly 3 years.

Then he’d offered her money, a photograph, and sex, in that order.

“Fuck,” Simme says, his voice is flat but she appreciates the sentiment. “Well. Sorry I fucked up the show for you as well.”

She glances sideways, but she can’t look long enough to get a good sense of his expression without taking her attention off the road. “It was fine. I mean who else can say they got to hear a Simme original song, live.” God, that makes it sound like she hated it. “I mean I loved the song, the song was great.” Or maybe that’s too much enthusiasm for a song he sang like his heart was fucking breaking. “I mean, it was sad. But really pretty.”

She takes her eyes off the road again, to see his mouth quirk into a tiny half smile. “You should send that to my PR team,” he says. “Sad But Pretty. There’s an album title right there.”

[im-a-king-baby]

For the Director's commentary: I would love some more background thoughts around chapter 12 when Simon stays overnight with Wille and also cannot sleep and needs the drugs. I've thought about what went through his mind that night...

oh mannn, so I started writing this a while back after someone commented something similar (possibly also you?) and it just kept getting longer and more depressing 😬

Also then my commentary also got long (no surprised there) so it's under the cut, usual TW for talk of addiction.

This is an interesting moment to talk about the writing of because this concept of Simon getting up in the night and phoning Kevan actually came pretty late in editing. The biggest plothole in draft 1 was how everyone found out they were in Bjarstad (there was a fill-in but it didn't really make sense and it was just there to get to the Confrontations which are key to the plot) and I was doing the usual washing-dishes-musing-about-sad-popstars at work when I had the (in hindsight obvious) realisation that Simon does not carry unlimited drugs on his person and would, in fact, be sobering up. He doesn't have a source of drugs in Bjarstad and he's not (at this point) interested in getting sober.

The research I did about cocaine addiction talked about how long term use can affect your ability to feel good things without the drugs. When you've been binging and you stop there's a crash with associated depressive thoughts, anxiety, cravings. It's also a stimulant, so Simon finishes his supply off to try and act like a functional person while Wilhelm is awake, but then he's got nothing to go from the high to sleeping (typically he would also have a downer, eg a sleeping pill or xanax, to end the night on so he could sleep and start again in the morning.) So basically he's lying there, wide awake, he doesn't want to wake Wilhelm up but also his thoughts are spiralling downwards as the happy chemicals drain away.

And then the thoughts start up of 'if I just had a bit more, if I had the pills, I have to get through tonight but also I have to be able to act like a functional human tomorrow when wilhelm wakes up and I don't know where to get anything in Bjarstad and also Simme can't be seen buying drugs in Bjarstad because that would be Bad, but Wilhelm deserves better than me being shitty to him just because I'm sober.'

There is a thing with addiction and rehab about needing to hit rock bottom to make a change, which usually involves being hit by consequences. Simon's position and his team has left him pretty sheltered from the consequences of his addictions (he's always got access to drugs, he's not missing commitments because they're steering him between them, he doesn't have to worry about affording it) but he needed to hit that low moment.

The issue in draft 1 without the phone call was that Candace showed up but nothing had really changed for Simon. She said some crap because she was angry but there was nothing Simon didn't already know (fun fact: I was scrolling through cut sections the other day and some of Candace's lines in C13 are almost word-for-word matches to lines I took away from Simon in the hotel room (they worked as his thoughts but it didn't fit to have him saying them out loud).). So the existence of the phone call, and the way it roped Wilhelm in when part of wanting the drugs was to stop Wilhelm from seeing how Simon felt sober ('I just want you to be happy' - Wilhelm, chapter 16) was this consequence that Simon was suddenly faced with.

And in a way, it had already been solved. Candace had already bribed the hotel, she's very accustomed to covering up this kind of fuck-up, but for Simon the reality of how close he came to hurting Wilhelm was definitely part of the catalyst to 'this isn't working, something has to change here.' (Then add on all the shit Candace says when Simon is too tired/depressed/sober to fight back (which again Simon would not take anywhere near as hard if Wilhelm hadn't been there to see it because what Wilhelm thinks of Simon matters a lot more than what Simon thinks of Simon))

But now I am jumping ahead to C13, sorry! In the night, he's not thinking that far ahead. He's thinking there is a phone right there, he can figure out the hotel and remember Kevan's room number, drugs will arrive and he'll take them and in the morning he'll get to smile and kiss Wilhelm more and *handwave* things will work out. There is no long term plan beyond getting something to smooth off the edges of his brain, and there's not even a real plan for how to do that (do not ask your employees to uber you drugs, folks). He's desperate, he's depressed, and he's hoping someone else will fix it because someone else (cough Candace cough) has always fixed it.

And then he finds a bottle of wine at the back of the cupboard and drinks the whole thing so that he can at least finally fall asleep.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with the whole depressing sprawl of a scene, but here is a Simon POV extract for you:

Then Wilhelm yawns, nudging Simon back and rolling onto his side, the invitation to cuddle up clear, and this was why Simon finished the coke, wasn’t it? Just because his blood is racing and his heart is pumping doesn’t mean he can keep Wilhelm awake trying to explain why it wasn’t okay to go further before but it is now because Simon is okay now, and trying to explain why he’s okay without Wilhelm asking questions or turning on the light. So he rolls onto his side while Wilhelm wraps an arm around his shoulders and tries to still his racing thoughts, tries to focus on something that isn’t how much he wants to turn back, capture Wilhelm’s mouth with his. He runs through songs in his head. Not his own - not the ones he has etched into his bones - but the songs they used to sing as children. There’s nothing like a love song, his mama used to say, on the nights when Micke wasn’t home until late and they could turn the radio up and dance around the living room. There’s a song about staying awake, just to hear you breathing. There’s a song about finding love in a hopeless place. There’s a song that goes I’ve hungered for your touch, a long lonely time. “All the great love songs are sad,” Simon finds himself saying. Wilhelm’s forehead presses against the back of his neck, his breath is warm on Simon’s skin. “Write one for me,” he says. Simon thinks about standing in a recording booth singing Hold on to every moment ‘til I find you, or Que hermoso es ser amado, or I’d want to feel like that. Imagining Wilhelm’s arms around his waist, Wilhelm’s eyes watching him from across the room. ‘Who do you think about when you sing the love songs?’ Laura had asked, not even twenty four hours ago. Simon closes his eyes, counts Wilhelm’s breaths as they settle out waits until Wilhelm must be asleep before letting himself reply. “They’re all for you.”

[im-a-king-baby]

Hiii!

I loved ELYN so much! And one scene I would love you to comment on is in chapter 14 when they're out by the lake, and they talk about their futures and their public personas, and I guess they both help each other get to thinking about their options in new ways:

“The first thing you ever said to me was that you weren’t allowed to talk about politics.” Simon bends down to pick a rock up from the grass, turning it over between his fingers. “I guess I’m just saying if this debate is live and there’s no script then this is your chance to tell people your story. To show them what kind of king you’re going to be.” He tosses the stone once in his palm, then throws it into the lake."

I really loved how this got Wilhelm thinking about what he wanted, and how he could go about to get it.

Thanks a lot 💜

No, thank YOU a lot <3 <3.

(This meme is bonus content for ELYN/Everybody Loves You Now which you can read on AO3 here. This post below the cut will contain spoilers.)

So the VERY FIRST line of YR fanfiction I ever wrote was: ‘The first thing Wilhelm ever said to Simon was, "I’m not allowed to talk about politics." It was a wake-up call, a reminder, that Wilhelm will always belong to Sweden first.’ It was originally for a different fic, then I stole it for a Simon POV ELYN-scene which I might post someday (snippet below), but that sense of responsibility is definitely one of the core parts of this kind of contemporary royalty story that is interesting to me. So the beginning of that quote is definitely something that was in my mind from the very beginning.

And it’s interesting to talk about this scene (and chapters 13/14 in general) and that progression to Wilhelm’s decision because it was hardly in draft 1, which jumped from Candace to the debate with very little in between. And then I kept expanding it, and rewriting it a million times (and then my beta was like ‘this isn’t working’ about some parts and I rewrote them several more times.) and these chapters more than a lot of the others I had to step back and really be like ‘what am I trying to achieve here, what are my character arcs, how do I balance that?’

The most important part of ELYN (to me) was that losing the vote had to be a Choice that Wilhelm made. I’ve seen some debates about whether people want an ending where Wilhelm abdicates or where the monarchy is abolished and I always think it misses the nuance that if monarchy is abolished it should be because Wilhelm abolishes it. To me, that’s what makes it an empowered narrative, rather than a story about society rejecting a queer king. And in ELYN, the other key plotline is this reconnection between Wilhelm and Simon and how that pushes them both to break out of these boxes they’re stuck in. On Simon’s side, Wilhelm is a reminder of his past and a wake-up call to how not-okay Simon is now. Pre the writing of 13/14 Wilhelm did had some influence from Simon, breaking the rules and pushing back on his mother and Minou, but I wanted there to be a clear character beat that tied Simon's return to Wilhelm’s making the decision to call for a 'no' vote.

Then it was a case of reflecting on the parallels of their lives, which was mostly this theme of being voiceless. Simon not being able to sing his own songs, vs. Wilhelm being handed speeches to read out and having to stick to the Official Story. And this is where Simon is kind of ahead of Wilhelm, in that he’s already had his ‘fuck it, they can’t stop me’ moment singing at the concert, so he gets to take the advice-giving role, which is nice to balance out their interactions a bit more so it’s not Wilhelm helping Simon all the time.

(In case you’re interested, this is one of the notes I sent my beta with the final rewrite (which kind of shows how I was approaching this transition from a character development perspective): ‘I’ve tried to make the split more clear so that in 13 his action is avoiding the debate (passive) and in 14 he switches to actively using the debate to change the vote.’)

Bonus snippet, here is the line from paragraph one in the Simon hotel scene:

The wind is bitingly cold. “Thanks, tack, love you all,” he calls down. “Have a good night!” He shuts the window, draws the curtains like maybe they’ll leave if they can’t see him. They won’t leave. They were there this morning when he went to an interview, then a doctor about the scratch in his throat, then an outfit fitting for the charity show. The numbers fluctuate but they’re never gone. He wonders how Wilhelm got past them. There must be another entrance, one that someone has decided Simme isn’t allowed to use, because they want to reward the loyalty of the fans freezing their fucking toes off to get a glimpse of him. Wilhelm wouldn’t risk being seen by them. Wilhelm knows how important is is to maintain his image. The first thing Wilhelm ever said to Simon was, ‘I’m not supposed to talk about politics.’ A wake up call. A reminder. That Wilhelm will always belong to Sweden first. And now Simon knows a little of how that feels, to have the expectations of thousands of strangers resting on his shoulders. Fortunately Simme’s image is much easier to maintain. A bit of smoky eye, a smile that promises sex, a never ending stream of photoshoots where the clothes are more or less optional. It all comes naturally: start at the neck of the bottle and work down.

[mcheung]

okay gonna cram for this test see you at midnight for some tgw spoilersss

[im-a-king-baby]

I love ELYN, it was a wonderful read. 🪷

<333

Today's bonus scene is a post-epilogue snippet, because Kevan is one of my favourite characters who barely appeared in the actual fic XD

Under the cut for maaaajor ending spoilers! Go read ELYN first!

“The band should have arrived,” Simon checks his phone, for about the twentieth time since getting out the car that had picked them up at the airport. “Normally we’d meet in the bar, have a drink.” He looks across the lobby to the hotel bar, racks of liquor stretching up to the ceiling.

Wilhelm catches his hand. “The schedule I got said we were meeting for dinner,” he says. He’s pretty sure Simon knows that, but sometimes it helps to have someone else say it out loud. “So let’s check in, and you can have a shower while I ask Farima what time.”

“Right.” It takes Simon a second too long to drag his eyes away from the bottles. He keeps tugging on the straps of his backpack, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Wilhelm had asked widely around for advice on how he could support Simon going back to playing live shows but the consensus from everyone was just, ‘It’s going to be hard, but if he wants to tour again you have to start somewhere.’

“Hey! Si…imon!”

Wilhelm barely has a chance to jump before someone is bounding across the lobby. He’s a huge man with long black hair dressed in a leather jacket with silver studs and for an instant Wilhelm wonders if he should be throwing himself in front of Simon - where are the bodyguards when you need them?

Then he registers that Simon is laughing. “You can keep calling me Simme,” Simon says, stepping past Wilhelm so the man can pull him into what looks like a bonecrushing hug. “I don’t mind.”

“Oh thank god,” the man says, letting Simon go and stepping back. “Farima keeps sending emails about ‘Simon’ and I’m like ‘who?’ every single time.” He notices Wilhelm for the first time, slightly off to the side in his carefully nondescript jumper and jeans combo. “Let me guess, you’re the boyfriend formerly known as Prince?”

Simon snorts. “Kevan, this is Wilhelm. Wille, Kevan. He plays guitar.”

And now Wilhelm remembers him from the Faktory, standing off to the side of the stage with a red guitar. And the name, too. Kevan was the person Simon called in Bjarstad, the one who told Candace where to find them. Wilhelm’s first instinct would be to keep him far away from Simon, but he’s aware that - as much as he doesn’t like it - the Candace Issue is more complicated on Simon’s side.

Simon met her for coffee, when he was in L.A. and Wilhelm was stuck in class a million miles away, and Wilhelm’s phone left imprints in his palm he was gripping it so tight waiting for a phone call that didn’t come, just a text two hours later: she’s gone, all still standing and heading to the airport. See you soon xx

Here and now, Simon seems relaxed for the first time since they entered the lobby, flicking the studs on Kevan’s jacket and saying, “Did you listen to the EP?”

“I did. Not really my thing,” Kevan says, but with a grin as though this is some shared joke between them. “But we can add more guitar solos when you record the full album.”

Simon snorts a laugh, like he hasn’t been up all night for the last week worrying about The Full Album. “Let’s get through these shows first.”

“Speaking of, I did need to catch you.” Kevan’s smile drops. “There’s a problem with my schedule.”

Fuck. Wilhelm steps a bit closer to Simon as his laugh dies and he casts a desperate look towards the check-in desk and escape. “The schedule isn’t really my area,” Simon starts. “Can you talk to Farima about it?”

“No,” Kevan says. “I think I need you.” He’s already pulling out his phone. “See, I’ve got the dinner tonight, rehearsals tomorrow, shows Friday and Saturday, but in the middle I have something called a ‘day off’? I told them, this is a Simme tour we don’t do that here -”

The tension drops entirely out of Simon’s body. "Oh my god," he says, shoving at Kevan’s shoulder, the kind of easy roughhousing that he would've done with Ayub or Rosh back at school. “You’re such an asshole.”

Kevan uses his height advantage to ruffle Simon’s hair then takes off running before Simon can retaliate. Simon is laughing, but pauses to kiss Wilhelm’s cheek and shove his backpack into Wilhelm’s arms before chasing Kevan across the lobby, scattering guests and hotel staff in all directions.

Wilhelm slings Simon’s bag over his shoulder and heads to the desk, only glancing back every other second. “Simon Erikkson and Wilhelm Kassel, I think our bags have already been dropped off.”

She digs out some paperwork for him to sign - he’s still figuring out his signature, still forgetting to respond for a minute when he hears ‘Mr Kassel’ - and she’s coding up two keycards when Simon stumbles back up against the counter, breathing hard.

“Hey, sorry. Didn’t mean to abandon you,” he says, and Wilhelm can’t blame him for it when he’s still smiling like that, lighting up his whole face.

He had kind of understood what Simon said about wanting to be back on stage - in that he could see it was something a person might want, even if the idea of doing it himself made him want to throw up - but he’d thought the touring was a necessary evil that went with that, not something that could possibly be enjoyed. When Simon had arranged these first shows for Spring Break so Wilhelm could come along, Wilhelm had just assumed it was so that he’d have someone other than Farima there to fall back on.

But as Kevan falls into step with them on the way to the elevator, talking about dinner plans like booking a table at a restaurant is the most outlandishly posh thing that any person has ever done, he realises maybe for Simon it was about showing Wilhelm this other side of his life. To show that he’s not alone out here.

“Di was asking if we need to dress for dinner,” Kevan says. “I said I didn’t think we should go naked but I’d check with you.”

Simon elbows him in the side. “I think we can be us,” he says. “It’s not -” he pauses as Wilhelm presses the button to call the lift, waits for the doors to open and them to step inside before he continues. “It’s just to keep it out of the bar, you know?” Wilhelm steps closer, so their knuckles touch and Simon gives him a sideways smile. “Things are going to be a bit different this time.

Wilhelm half expects Kevan to make another joke, but Kevan nods, like he gets it. “You let us know what you need, yeah? We’re all rooting for you here.”

[mcheung]

ELYN hihi have u listened to any ttpd leaks? im dodging spoilers left and right but at the same time i am sooo intrigued!!!!!!!! im so nosy fhjsfklashvlf

i haven't!!!! i've peeked a bit at the spoilers tho lolol nothing too bad just like 1 lyric and a couple 'OH MY GOD's im so excited!!!!! and dont worry we can wait + be nosy together i'm always here for that hehehe how are you???

[im-a-king-baby]

Hi! Will you please answer these? Love your writing!

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

hiiii, sorry this one is later than the others, work is the devil and must be stopped.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Friends, books, movies, life, idle thoughts. I read a lot, I watch TV, I have conversations with my friends where they go 'what if [youtube show] was a YR fic?' I read something and go 'man this is really underutilising that superpower, if I wrote a shapeshifter they would...' and then suddenly there's a novel where there wasn't before.

The trick for me is to find time after that initial spark of an idea to mull on it, let it grow, ask yourself questions about it. At the moment I work in a kitchen and a lot of kitchen work is great for thinking time because it's repetitive and manual. If I'm working an office job, I'll take myself for walks or do jigsaws to get the same kind of thinking time.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Character driven. I think everything comes back to character, to knowing what choices your characters would make. When I get stuck on a scene it's usually because I can't see where a character is coming from, and my solution is usually to write a little scene from their perspective to find out. (Example [elyn spoilers]: when I was trying to figure out how Wille and Simon reconnected at the lake, I ended up writing a short scene of Simon and Keira which is where the 'I have been in love with him ever since,' line came from and really solidified Simon's choices in that moment.)

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

The community! The kudos, the comments, the people coming and having discussions after each chapter. I've spent a few years trying to make headway in original fiction and it's just so quiet and lonely in comparison. Like, you can convince a few of your friends to read it and tell you things but 1000 strangers have read ELYN and liked it enough to tell me so and that's WILD and SO AMAZING as a writer and a creator to have all these people going 'yes' and being on board with your vision. (Thank you!!!)

[mcheung]

GUYS PLEASE FILTER #elyn listens to tgw IF YOU DONT WANT THE GOOD WITCH SPOILERS

[raincitygirl76]

ELYN means “Everybody Loves You Now”, a future-fic by @im-a-king-baby . If you have not already read this fic, I urge you to read it now. There are spoilers for the fic below the cut in the commentary, and you should read this fic unspoiled.

Please note this fic is finished.

Hey, I love ELYN 😭❤️

So my two fave scenes/ moments were the 'keep of the lake house for now' and 'I've been in love with him since' so any commentary will be amazing. Any extra stuff will be amazing so 🪻please 😊

Hiii <3

Gonna put these 3 under a cut because length

“So hold onto that lake house for a while longer,” he says. “Okay?”

Context: i wrote the majority of the first draft of ELYN for Nanowrimo in 2022 (basically a challenge where you write a 50k novel in the month of November) and then I rewrote and edited it over a bunch of months.

So this chapter was actually very similar to the original draft, except that in Draft 1 all of the vote fallout was in one chapter which had the Simon scene first then the Nils scene. In the editing/developing process all the non-Wilhelm characters grew a lot so I knew I wanted to expand Nil's role, and add some more Felice which meant I could bump Simon into his own chapter.

(there was absolutely not meant to be a giant posting gap between the Nils scene and the Simon scene. To be completely honest if I'd known I was going to need that long to finish the fic off I'd probably have chosen to put the gap immediately after the debate because... tension 😈)

The main places where the Simon scene got extended was in the details - Simon's life and career was not well thought through in draft 1 and a lot of the extra length across the whole fic came from building that up - but the lakehouse beat was always there because it was important that Simon's rehab process had to be something he did independent of Wilhelm, so this idea of Wilhelm offering up this house and Simon rejecting it, then clarifying that it's a 'not yet' but hopefully one day when he's in a better place.

Wilhelm's 'I keep thinking about the last time you went to L.A.' was not in the original and was one of those character beats that didn't come to me until months later, but that really pulled together Wilhelm's feelings at that moment and his reluctance to let Simon leave, and that then led really nicely back into Simon saying hang on to the house, because hopefully its not goodbye this time.

“Keira asked what was different about you,” Simon says. “I said: I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen, and I have been in love with him every day since.”

Okay so this part was possibly the slowest part of the fic to write mostly because I was still figuring out how to articulate this ending which was meant to be optimistic but not magic-wand-everything's-fixed-now. This line in particular came about because I was trying to find where Simon was sitting emotionally and ended up writing a very short therapy in L.A. scene in which Simon dropped this line and I was immediately like 'well, that has to get into the main story.'

It's a nice parallel to Wilhelm's 'I'm never going to stop being in love with him.' in chapter 8, and it highlights that the issues between them have never been a lack of love or not wanting to be together, it's always been these outside forces that they need to break away from.

Also its one of those lines that you write down and then you read it and you're like 'people are gonna quote this one back at me' and its nice when you get that right 😅

And on that theme, your 🪻 is:

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” This is the worst part of therapy. “Wilhelm.” Keira’s eyebrows twitch slightly, which is the only reaction he ever gets and means he’s surprised her. “We haven’t spoken much about Wilhelm, not since you asked if you could text him. Are you ready to tell me more about what happened between you?” “You could check the tabloids.” Her ‘you know that’s not what I meant’ look reminds him of Candace, except that she hasn’t figured out how to also convey ‘and I’m disappointed and you’re exhausting and you’d be nothing without me.’ “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” Simon absolutely can’t look at her. “I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen,” he says. “And I’ve been in love with him every day since. He’s the one I think about every time I sing a love song. Still. I have slept with - I don’t know, hundreds? - of people since I left Sweden and none of it meant anything, compared to him.” “What was it like, seeing him again?” He’d been drinking steadily in the car on the way to the benefit concert so that he’d be able to smile and read a teleprompter and not just stand there staring but it was a close thing. After his performance they’d swept him into a room where he drank champagne and smiled for the cameras. Wilhelm had touched a fingertip to his bare shoulder and Simon had wanted him so badly it hurt in places he’d thought could no longer feel anything. He doesn’t have words for that, except that it was like being in love. “He showed me I could do this,” Simon says instead. “That I could get out. That these systems we were caught up in weren’t infallible.” She frowns very slightly. “Do you think he spoke out against the monarchy for you?” Maybe? He offered once. On a cold night in his ridiculous scarf in so many words that it was Ayub who figured out what he was getting at after he’d walked away. But, no. “He did it for him. Because he needed it. And I did this for me. But there couldn’t be an ‘us’ before. Because of all those things getting in the way. And now… and maybe we both did it a bit for that. For love. Or whatever.”