#also a lot of kids think everyone has the same genitals as them until they have a baby sibling around & they see something

[torahtot]

transphobes are so lying abt the denying biological reality brainwashing kids thing like have you ever met a child. i have a 'boy haircut' but at work i don't pass and i wear a skirt and have a girl voice and a girl name and kids still do not realize until i explicitly tell them. even after i tell them im a girl a lot of them insist im a boy because "girls have long hair." this happens almost every day with multiple kids, they have no idea

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

What are the major details that confused you about the Hound blurb? The major one that stood put to me was the "way of the farmer opposed to the sword" thing which felt very...un-Cú Chulainn. Also, if you don't mind expanding further, which details didn't you question/be confused by?

and also for anon:

okay so it is like. 2am so there are not going to be any sources here but i can't sleep so here goes!! i will go through this blurb line by line and give youse my thoughts

In 50 BCE,

reasonable. this is roughly the right time period for when the ulster cycle is set. maybe marginally earlier than i'd place cú chulainn, but i'm talking a few years, nothing to get worked up about.

Morrigan, the goddess of war,

fine. normally i'm wary of pantheonising impulses with regard to irish characters (almost none of them can be identified as a god of anything in particular, it doesn't work like that) but tbh the morrigan is like, the most plausible exception to that, so whatever. normally her name has the definite article attached to it because it's kind of a species term as well but whatevs.

has become restless as a long-lasting peace settles over Ireland.

dubious. closest i can think of to peace being reference in any texts is togail bruidne da derga talking about conaire mor's reign being like, prosperous and peaceful and whatever, and even there you've got díberg (plundering/reaving) which is what eventually fucks him over and starts the otherworldly hell spiral situation. that's roughly the right period here but conaire's doom proves you don't have to do much to nudge peace into war, and connacht and ulster are at each other's throats for years before cú chulainn comes on the scene anyway

Deciding the time of peace must end, she chooses Setanta, the nephew of the king of the north, to become her ward.

hmm. i mean. like, this isn't the WEIRDEST choice they could have made. it's still completely made-up, don't get me wrong -- cú chulainn has a lot of different foster parents in different texts and they don't agree with each other but none of them ever mentions the morrígan. but like, they do have a connection of some sort, as evidenced by their conversations. and there's that one moment in the r1 boyhood deeds where little cú chulainn is out on the battlefield and hears her (not sure which name is used here) calling out to him and it like. motivates him to do some deeds or whatever, and i guess you could extrapolate that into some kind of teaching capacity.

so like. could be weirder. if you're gonna pick anyone, you could do worse. still seems weird to me! but not on its own a major issue, i could get past this and consider it a Fun But Unorthodox Creative Decision

(the fact that she tries to seduce him in the táin probably wouldn't get in the way of this considering sleeping with his teachers/foster-mothers is far from unheard of where cú chulainn is concerned)

After a young Setanta slays the demon-hound of Cullan, he becomes known as Cú Cullan—The Hound of Cullan.

weird spelling choices, they could have at least bothered to use the genitive properly. also the hound isn't a demon, it's a ferocious watchdog -- making it sound all Otherworldly and Hellish like this kinda confuses the issue of why he would need to take its place. he needs to take its place because the cattle and people still need protecting because it is a watchdog!! but whatevs, again, it's a brief summary so they can't exactly give us all the details and this is not actively objectionable

As Cú Cullan grows older, it is apparent that an extraordinary power lies within him … and a great darkness.

ugh boring. this makes it sound like he's going to be ~tortured~ and angsty about it. give me an unapologetic murder teen please. is the ríastrad dark? sure i guess, if you're going to be boring about it. it's more like, grotesque neon in my head

When he chooses the quiet life of a farmer over the sword,

this would fucking never happen on like five different levels. obviously like anyone who has ever read anything about cú chulainn can see that this is not in his nature. he is never going to choose a quiet life. this is the kid who tricked his way into taking arms before everyone thought he was ready. also juxtaposed with the "darkness" comment makes it sound like he would Angst his way into this quiet life which. again. have you seen this kid. he is an unapologetic murder teen

the only thing i can think of that might make him temporarily want to walk away is connla's death which... depends where you position that in the timeline really, he does seem a bit fucked up by it and maybe he'd want a holiday although i can see that lasting precisely 5 minutes before someone pissed him off enough for him to murder them. but if he's being raised by the morrígan i can't see him going to train with scáthach so then he'd never meet aífe and therefore connla would never be born so that wouldn't happen. so like. whatever.

but also like. he would not become a farmer. he just wouldn't! it doesn't work! the ireland of the stories is super hierarchical, right? and this blurb has already fucking told us that he's the king's nephew (canon) so we can tell that being a farmer is Not His Place. when we see upper class figures becoming menial labourers in texts, like in cath maige tuired, it's because Things Are Fucked, Shit's Gone Wrong. people don't just decide to change their entire social class on a whim lmfao

if cú chulainn really wanted to turn his back on being a warrior he could probably make recourse to certain other Suitable Professions ... his grandad's a druid so he might have a route into that, though his dad's not so that might fuck things up a bit bc it's one of those things that's usually inherited. he does give "wisdom" in at least one text though and we also know he can write (he carves riddles in ogham in the táin) and he composes verses on various occasions so idk, maybe something in a poetic direction, though again, usually requires two generations of inheritance to be a real poet and not just a lower-class bard. warrior's kinda the main thing he's got open to him tbh. but farming? i'm not a legal expert but as far as i'm aware based on what i have read, that would fuck shit up

more likely an upset cú chulainn would just go off in search of an adventure somewhere conveniently far away until he'd calmed down (alba, or the tyrrhenian sea, or -- if we're going to get early modern about it -- somewhere like india, which frequently gets thrown into the texts with absolutely no cultural context and it's always hilarious)

Morrigan, angry at the betrayal,

of the entire social order, yes,

instigates an invasion of his homeland

i mean. if they intend this to be the táin then.... táin bó regamna does kinda make the morrígan responsible for it? not in the sense of triggering the pillow talk argument that it's in the book of leinster -- it's her getting up to her usual cow-nicking behaviours for shits and giggles. [note to readers: it is probably for more than shits and giggles but did i mention it's 2am]

but all in all, not particularly out of character that she would be at least some way responsible for this so i can vibe with this. echtra nerai also supports the TBR explanation with her fucking around with otherworldly cows and pissing people off so, yeah, whatever. the morrígan engineered this. sure.

and Cú Cullan must challenge fate itself

this is probably a controversial stance but fate feels like a difficult concept to apply to medieval irish texts. like are people sometimes Doomed? yes. there are prophecies, there are gessi, there's all manner of otherworldly fuckery that can trip you up. is that the same thing as fate? no idea. considering cú chulainn comes out alive from the táin though and his doom prophecies don't catch up to him for like, at least another decade, maybe 16 years depending on who you listen to, hard to see how that would apply here

to keep the goddess at bay.

again like she IS causing fuckery in the táin but also it's like... one time. really not the main character. but she or maybe just some crows, hard to say, do get implicated in the death tale so maybe they're doing what people often do and conflating the two? even though there's like 10-16 years in between them?

anyway as you can see i don’t think it’s wholly terrible / i’m not completely thinkshaming it. like, having cú chulainn raised by the morrígan is unorthodox but it could be a fun and creative direction so i don't object to it. making cú chulainn get sad about murder and choose to be a farmer is just fucking laughable tho, and makes me doubt their characterisations in general. so that's offputting and would probably make me think twice about buying it, if that had ever been on the cards.*

and of course sure, their cú chulainn can be a Sad Boy Who Likes Sheep, but that means he's not the cú chulainn of medieval irish lit / irish myth, because that cú chulainn is a feral murder teen who keeps killing his friends and also is way too high social status to ever be a farmer, and whose only relationship to livestock is as the watchdog who kills anyone trying to harm them (which is an important role on a farm! but like. not the same thing as Being A Farmer. mostly because it involves more murder and is essentially just an extension of his role as a warrior. or rather the other way around. he promises to protect mag muirthemne as a watchdog and this like. gets extended into him becoming its sole defender)

this has been my analysis of this blurb i hope you enjoyed it

it's now 2.30am i should try and sleep now that i've exorcised a few thoughts from my head

*as i mentioned in the tags of my other post, i don't tend to read graphic novels due to disability stuff. they're much harder for me to understand and follow than prose, to the point where some are incomprehensible, so i don't really enjoy them. there are a few i've read, but they tend to be short ones, and i'm usually not reading them in order, just admiring the art separately from the text. so it's unlikely i would read a graphic novel of this size anyway.

[chocolatte-and-despair]

What are the slaves like in heat? When they are crushing on their owner and not please~

((Before going into this, I would like to say that my favorite type of writing is when the reader is the dominant/top one, so that’s what I usually do. The main gender that I usually use for sexual asks is herm/intersex (Someone with both genitals, in this case), with female pronouns, if needed. I just wanted to warn everyone so they would know what they are getting into before I start!))

((Also, there are quite a few characters and these are pretty long, I’ll only be doing 4 of the slaves, so if anyone wants to know about some of the others, please feel free to send in a request!~))

YANDERE SLAVETALE SANS IN HEAT WHEN IN LOVE WITH HIS MASTER:

~First of all, he would have a submissive heat. As we know, submissive heats are very dangerous, just like dominant heats. We also know what the purpose of such heats are, and that is to breed or be bred. With his case, because he would have a submissive heat, he would have the desire to be bred. As we also know, skeletons and some other monsters, have the ability to change their bodies and genitals as long as they have magic. 

~Normally, his favorite genitals to use are male ones, but because of his heat being of submissive origins, he would use female genitals.

~Of course, as we know, don’t let the heat name confuse you. The only reason they are called submissive heats is because they want to be bred and not to breed someone. It doesn’t mean they are going to be submissive little pillow princesses, waiting to be bred. If they want someone, they are going to go and fucking take them, especially if they are naturally aggressive in their everyday life.

~Lucky for you, or well, unlucky for you, Ardor is one of the more aggressive slaves that you own. While in a submissive heat, he wouldn’t fuck around.

~You see, Ardor always hated the fact that you were around others, but if you two would have a kid, well, you would need to take responsibility, right? You were too good to not do that.

~The next thing you would know, he would already have you tied up, the door locked up and he would be ready to start.

~He would probably tell you that it’s honestly your fault for making him feel like this, and that if only you cared less, he could care less about you too.

~He wouldn’t care about any problems that you might have, or anything like that, alright? He will not stop until he feels a small soul developping.

~Lucky for you, submissive heats only last a week, so eventually, the heat will wear off, but it’s more likely that he’ll only stop when he thinks he might be pregnant.

*

YANDERE SLAVEFELL SANS IN HEAT WHEN HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIS MASTER:

~Honestly, Roxxy wouldn’t change much, or at least, not at the beginning.

~He would try to control himself as much as possible, at the beginning, so he would be able to trick you into being in a room alone with him.

~You see, he has a submissive heat, meaning that his sexual needs would rise in an insane rate. The fact that he wants to be bred is also something that could become a problem ,but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

~When he would lock you inside a room with him alone, he would probably start going on an insane sounding rant, about how much he loved you and that the only way to show that their love is real, is if they would produce a fruit of love, in this case, a child.

~Honestly, at this point, your consent would be the last of his priorities. He wants to get pregnant already, and show everyone that he’s superior faster, so they would leave you alone for good, and would keep you for himself. 

~Roxxy is actually madly strong, but he never showed it before, because he just never cared about fighting back. But this time? If you dare try to pull out or push him off... You’ll have your hands broken.

~Honestly, your screams would arouse him even more, so be careful, because at any sign of you fighting back again, he’ll break some other of your bone.

~Unlike the others, he wouldn’t stop even after he feels like he might be pregnant. He would probably keep it up until either you or him would pass out.

~Don’t put up your hopes too high though, the moment either of you wakes up again, you’ll go at it again.

~Honestly, he doesn’t even need you to be awake to feel as much pleasure as he wants.

*

YANDERE SLAVEFELL PAPYRUS IN HEAT WHEN HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIS MASTER:

~Rogue would try his best to control himself. He didn’t want to let his heat over and do some mistakes that would ruin his life here...

~But because of the heat, he would imagine a lot of things. For example, how happy they could be if they would have a little baby. Or three.

~But then he would bring himself back to reality, trying to remember  that the difference in status would get in the way...

~Rogue would be able to control himself, as long as you wouldn’t enter his room.

~If you would, you would probably find him a blushing and sweaty mess on the bed, trying to relieve the heat and emptiness that he felt.

~Because he would push himself to such a point, it would be an instant reaction to push you to the wall, after locking the door, and undying your pants

~Throughout it all, he would keep repeating that this was going to be good for them both, and that you would be a great parent.

~After he would feel that he might be pregnant, he would probably leave you wherever you currently were, as he would return to his bed, cradling his stomach with a satisfied look on his face.

~This would be your only chance of escaping right now.

~Of course, unless you want to go through that session that?

*

YANDERE SLAVESWAPFELL SANS IN HEAT WHEN HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIS MASTER:

~Wisteria would, with all his might, try and stop himself from even thinking such things. He would repeat that you were his master and that he shouldn’t be thinking about such things.

~But, there were no rules against this... A part of him would try to reason with his more logical side, with the fact that no rules against heat week are put in place, but it didn’t mean he could do whatever he wanted. He had to consider his morals...

~Well, it is hard to keep your morals in consideration when your mind keeps replying moments when you were in any sort of sexual position...

~Thankfully, his more logical side always won, and this time was the same. He wouldn’t want to do anything to you, let alone make you a parent this early on... He wanted to get closer to you before he could even consider that!

~Of course, he still needed to deal with his heat, that’s why he decided to find a compromise to this problem. So, what better solution than to get some underwear and clothes that smell like you?

~He would probably go to your room when you are not around, and take whatever catches his eyes, before going back to his room and locking the door, in case you would try to come to his room...

~He wanted to control himself but if you did come here, he might just not be able to do that, and there was no way around it...

~He hopes that you don’t want your clothes back, because you’re not getting them back~

*

[claudiafekete]

This is another ordinary story of “how xxx fandoms changed my life” -

- or maybe not. you decide. I want to write it down.  trigger warning for politics, discussion of sexual violence, mild gender dysphoria It’s also horribly long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

When I first came to tumblr, I had just graduated from APH. Short for Axis Power Hetalia. I learned about it in the form of manga. For years it was my everything - I learned what fanfic or fanart meant and I learned the basic online etiquette. As I grew in years, it accompanied me.

Until it didn’t.

Shortly after I fell into solangelo.

It’s a fun story, how I picked up PJO years after years of absence. My brother was whining about something written in Magnus Chase. “What do you think the Norse Gods were going to do to Percy that Annabeth was crying?” He demanded. I expressed my confusion. He kept on with his different theories and I made the decision to look it up online later.

My online search of Percy Jackson’s fate soon revealed something unknown to me before: solangelo. The first canon gay ship I ever knew. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 19, I threw myself into this endless hole called “tumblr” for the first time.

It was the most LGBTQ+ friendly place I had ever been. I joke you not. It was also the place where I was taught not only how a healthy relationship should look like, but also how sex should or could be like.  You don’t learn anything healthy about sex in Chinese or Mandarin using fandom, at least during the years I was in them. There were rigid 攻/受(roughly translated as top/bottom) stereotypes that everyone rushed to squeezed their characters into them. A lot of time though both person might ship A with B, they wouldn’t interact because one thought A should top and another thought B should top. Their different topping designation resulted in depictions of the characters’ personalities so dramatically differed that you couldn’t recognize them as the same characters.  Other than the refreshing relationship dynamics, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard offered me a chance to take a look at my gender identity. I had known that theoretically non-binary people existed outside of binary gender, but I hadn’t known how one might live as one or describe themselves as one. I’m not trying to claim that Alex Fierro’s story is the only story of non-binary people. I’m trying to say that it was the starting point for me to make exploration and find the label  “agender” for myself.

I stayed in APH for 6 years. I had expected to stay in solangelo for longer.

Entered June 2019 with its whispers and anxious demonstrations. Entered folks pouring into streets in Hong Kong. Entered tear gas and facemasks and sticks and a bullet scarcely missing the heart and journalists beaten by police. Entered young students not of age disappearing mysteriously. Entered people dressed in white attacking citizens and not arrested by police. Entered dead bodies that were probably “被自殺 (being suicided)”.

Entered a city falling into the hands of tyrants next to your door, and you didn’t know how to help. You didn’t know what to do with yourself with your clean and spare hands. You were so far away from the frontline, you were angry and helpless and hopeless for that.

It was the first time I witnessed, first-hand, how the Chinese government directed the discussion online, so that it seemed as if there were random mobs who were disturbing the peace of Hong Kong and possibly taking money or being trained by US.  “Bullshit. Would there still be so many kids hurt on street if we have received any kinds of training for this?“  Of course, the majority of Chinese people inland wouldn’t hear that. Hong Kong is a former colony. Any calls of outrage toward the present government must be made by disillusioned young people who were unaware of colonization and imperialism. 

That was why I took refugee in Good Omens. I needed to run some where to stop myself from scratching myself to blood. I needed to some works for these clean and spare hands to do so that they wouldn’t pick up something destructive, such as a knife.

If the PJOverse fandom had felt the best place on earth, well, the Good Omens fandom lifted me into paradise. 

I’ve never seen so much kindness being showed under one tag. The creators and actors were all kind and interacted with the fans in their own ways. We were encouraged to do everything, anything, to build art with it however we liked. We as fans were recognized. We were seen. We were ... cared for. It was overwhelming, in a good way.  For that, I would be forever thankful to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and Michael Sheen and so many others in the production. I would be forever thankful to artists who liberated body types and freed the ties between gender expression and genitals. I would be forever thankful for the fantastic creators out there.

Would it seem as if I’ve only cherished the mutuals I met in Good Omens fandom? It wasn’t my intention. There are friends I keep in touch long after I fell out of love with APH. There are mutuals I got to know through solangelo and I feel, I hope that we are friends. Everyone who has chat with me I do my best to remember. (Though I do left conversation in weird places, become so ashamed of my incompetency that I do not continue them.)

What I’m trying to say is, as good as the solangelo fandom was, I still ran into biphobic posts here and there. It was only once or twice – but it was a constant reminder that being bisexual didn’t seem “valid” to some of the other LGBTQ+ members out there. Who cares what cis-gendered, heteronormative people said? Bullets that shot from friendly fire hurt the worst.

Besides, with a large and vibrant fandom like Good Omens, it’s easier to feel less alone and more… seen.

Damn right. Even after writing more that 5000 words in English it is still so easy to fall back into the comfortable nest of mother tongue. I can read simplified Chinese characters as well as the traditional Chinese characters I grow up using. There probably will never be getting the accent right but soundlessly devouring words in front of a screen? I excel at that.

That was what’s happening when the days rolled into January, 2020. I flew to US as an exchange student and exchanged long letters with a young Chinese woman I met in Good Omens fandom. I’ve never felt so alone in life. English as in creative writing has never come more naturally for me. The words burst in my head and arranged themselves freely on screen or on papers. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my writing ability.

The days rolled into March, 2020.

The first time my mom told me to come home over home, I laughed. The second time, I frowned. Before she pleaded me for the third time, I had grabbed a ticket.

I hadn’t imagined the disease plaguing China and its neighboring countries would affect the whole world.

You lived the rest of the story. I fled back to Taiwan.

 That was where Doctor Who came in. Or David Tennant. Such a strange time. For fourteen days I was the only living human in the house. I watched Casanova – or was it later? Hamlet definitely came before that. Then I could live with my family again. I handed in my homework and wrote in a different language than the people around me were speaking. My parents were working. My little brother was in school. When there was no one to talk to me I either read or watch Doctor Who to pass the time. I fell for Thirteen. I fell for twissy. Falling fast and hard and completely won over by their glamour.

I started internship. There were some small breaks where I could catch an episode or half, but never as much time as before. I dipped into fandom wiki and found that no matter how much research I did, there would always be details I overlooked simply because I could not afford hours watching all the episodes. No matter how hard I squeezed my schedule for time, no matter how much I devoted myself to the series, it would never be enough.

So I gave up, and let it go. For the first time in quite a while, I willingly gave up something for the simple reason of “I want to live a more comfortable life”.

 Came summer. Damp air combined with biting heat and piles after piles of biochemical terms made life agonizing. An ordinary kind of pre-pandemic “agonizing” which felt like a luxury in a world that was ending.

Hong Kong fell.

It was bound to happen. Once I heard protestors fought their way into the legislature I knew, for almost an year I knew, nothing good would come out of this. CCP would never allow its subjects acting out of hand. With such open despise to the authority, CCP would take nothing but a full conquest at the end of it.

See where we are now. As long as you’re “interfering” the political climate “inside” China, it doesn't matter which nationality you hold or where you were or how long it has been since you made the statement. “According to the law”, China can come for you. No, better, it can tell your country to hand you over. What a clever empire. What a graceful empire.

What a horrifying empire.

With the news I spiraled down fast. I kept away from the young Chinese woman I was exchanging letters with, I kept away from any kinds of Chinese social media, and the worst of all, I kept away from Good Omens, for it was sweet and kind and hopeful, for it reminded me of a time where fighting seemed to make a difference. I was empty and exhausted and a husk. Something must come out to fill the void. Someone needed to paint me in colors so that the world wouldn’t notice I was fading away.

I was surprised at who took the brush.

 After ten years, the first man I ever have a crush on strolled back into my life.

He was over thirty, but I always pictured him in his early twenties. Dark hair, eyes of grey or silvery blue. Loud laughter that sounded like a bark. Swift and elegant. Intelligent. Prideful. Stubborn. I embraced him as I’ve done ten years ago as a little child.

When I looked past him, I saw someone else.

Worn, weathered, with wry humor. Attentive and considerate. Tortured by the world yet never stop giving out kindness. Countless scars. Grey hair unfitting to his age. I didn’t pay him much attention ten years ago. This time, I looked.

Let me introduce you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, my very first crush and the man who is too much like my last crush.

 2020, a month before Fall semester started, I trekked cautiously, timidly back into Harry Potter fandom.

The fandom of August 2020 was very different from fandom of 2010. The lack of author, for one – it became mandatory to denounce the author’s transphobic statement and other bigotry setting. I’m glad that everyone is doing their best to make it a friendly place for minority groups. Though I’m afraid, by making it a white or black situation with short statements and no discussion, it wouldn’t really help people understand why she is wrong in this. However irrefutable the author’s guilt seems to us, it is not something obvious to those who are unfamiliar with the subjects.

But it does feel good to see blogs and fics with the introduction such as “If you support the author’s transphobic bullshit this place does not welcome you”. It feels reliving.

The second was, I found the type of work I’m actively pursuing changed.

Back when I was young – when I was so little I didn’t even know what the word “fandom” meant – I read Character x OFC and some M x M. During the APH period I read an alarming amount of M x M and countless historical AU. When digging through solangelo, beside the canon divergence stories, simple AU like coffee shop grabbed my attention. Coming out stories were my comforts. The best of Good Omens fics were either in canon verse discussing desires, bravery, humanity and mortality, or setting in an AU with the promise of sweet, fluffy endings. Doctor Who almost always focused on Time and Space. Love was twisted and so often tainted by anger. Monster and god were very alike.

I came a full circle back to the Marauder era, and found myself not looking for heroes, but for young fighters struggling desperately in a seemingly hopeless war. I looked for people who were frightened but never, never ever going down without a fight.

I used to find characters and events unfolding in foreign places, now I want  characters who are close to what I am or what I want to be.

---

So, that’s it, my grand journey through multiple fandoms and basically a journey of self-discovery. It’s messy, sometimes painful, but always with so much joy blooming along the way.

Something doesn’t change. I’m still obsessed with words. I’m still a sucker for happy ending. I’m still wishing someone will come and love me the way I need to be loved.

Something does. I stop imagining that some magical power will come into my life and solve everything. I stop looking for others to save me from myself. I start believing that though wounds hurt, some of them do teach us to be a better person.

Long ago, I saw my friends and I as rabbits, without proper weapons to defend ourselves. That wouldn’t do. I thought. For my friends I’ll grow into a snake with fangs to protect them. Maybe I have grown into a snake. Maybe I haven’t. But I do hope I won’t stop fighting for those I love, with those I love.

I hope I won’t give up.

[dxmedstudent]

Got lured onto twitter to support BLM and afterwards got embroiled in conversation over the UK’s #sexban. I’m tired of twitter, and it’s hard to express yourself in a few characters, so I thought I’d share some thoughts here. Which is really just the tories declaring outright that sex between people living in two households is now illegal and punishable with a £50 fine. Given that households haven’t been allowed to mix, you’re nto allowed into anyone’s house and the 2m rule still applies, it was always ‘banned’ - those of us in that situation were already aware of our obligations. FWIW I’ve followed every recommendation before and after lockdown, because I’m a doctor and I want to decrease ANY spread as much as possible, until things are relaxed enough that our meeting isn’t a particularly big risk to others in the context of what’s going on. It’s not fun, and it kind of feels like the govt forgets people like you when its revising its plans and opening Primarks, but you think of the patients, and you continue.  But this law in particular pissed me off today. It was already covered in existing rules - so why explicitly banning sex? What message are they trying to send? That they have no intention to ease the lockdown on our personal lives any time soon? How are they going to enforce the fine? Are we going to turn every time a lockdown rule is broken into something we fine people for, and will that just make people see it as something minor if they can afford the fine? Obviously, we have to have a cut-off somewhere. We have to try to decrease transmissibility where we can. And for the most part the initial rules seemed fairly sensible. But telling people they can’t be intimate with 1 person,  but they can have a barbecue with 6, go shopping, watch footballers touch each other, and travel to work and sit with colleagues feels like the rules are arbitrary and not particularly fair. Weirdly I’ve been roped into twitter conversation with some ex-immunology researcher re: the fact that covid viral RNA has been found in semen say 14 days after infection. And that apparently this therefore means the policy isn’t arbitrary and it isn’t prioritising the economy over personal lives.  I have to disagree. They argue that this is about sexual transmissibility, but I disagree. The thing is, this isn’t really about transmissibility. We don’t know enough about when covid stops being transmissible. We don’t know if a negative test means you can’t transmit it any more. I welcome any research that helps us gauge risk and know more about how we can stop spreading the virus. But we don’t know what kind of viral load allows for infection via different routes. How can we separate the risk from PIV (etc) transmission from a recently infected person from the risks of them spreading it through aerosolised droplets? Now, when I was sick, I was allowed back to work with vulnerable patients after 8 days, despite my OH consultant being clear that we’re not really sure how long people are infectious for, and the government recommendations appear to be arbitrary. Other places recommend 14 days. Clearly we have to say at some point that people are allowed out, and that their risk of transmission has at some point. But a rule telling me that I can go back to work after 7 days with a cough, but can’t have sex with my BF (in case - what? one of us is an asymptomatic suffer and less than 14 days after infection?) is not based on evidence, and it does, from the outside appear rather arbitrary.  I was concerned to go back to work. I’m still concerned about how many people have been rushed back to work. I’m concerned over how people who’ve been exposed in the community are meant to self isolate, but HCW aren’t even tested unless we show symptoms - imagine all the asymptomatic spread. This isn’t about whether some of us go a bit longer without sex (frankly, it’s barely about the sex at all), it’s about how inconsistent the rules are, and how the government apply the letter of the law in cases where the risk is low and yet allow people who were shielding out, and force them back to work where they may not be adequately protected. Because I guess even if you’re asymptomatic you need to never have sex EVER just in case you spread infection. But is it really more likely to be from uh... mixing genital fluids, or from coughing in each other’s faces? And why can’t the answer simply be to use a condom if we’re worried about fluids? But only if you’re in different households. Those in the same household have never been advised not to have sex, though they have been advised to isolate themselves if possible, if they are sick. But in general the rules allow people within the same household to live normally. They accept that people in the same household will likely get infected -though in reality they shouldn’t cos it’s not 100%. Imagine if we told everyone in the same household ‘well, there’s a chance you might not pass it to each other, so can all of you sit 2m apart and not touch’?. That’d probably reduce infections too, by a certain number, but it’d be pretty unpopular and hard to enforce. But if we’re going to pretend this is about sexual transmissibility ... sexual health policy has never been “don’t have sex” - not in the longterm. That’s not how we treat people with HIV or any other communicable disease  - we tell people to use protection and get tested. We try to manage risk as much as possible. And as our planning reaches more chronic stages, we’re going to have take much more advice from those who’ve been managing infectious illness, particularly in the context of people’s intimate lives, for a hell of a lot longer than we have. Your sexual health colleagues can tell you how to engage people with infection prevention, how to avoid marginalising people like sex workers (anyone remember them? yep, they sill exist and still need to survive). This bugs me not only cos it’s a bit of a personal fuck you to couples in my position who’ve been following the rules from the start, but also because it’s not based on sexual health practice. All the recommendations have to be based on some kind of risk assessment  -the 2m rule. How many households you can mix with. Whether going to someone else’s garden is safe. Everything we allow - even shopping, even accepting a takeaway -  has some kind of risk - it may be low, but it is not zero. I’m worried that the government has given the message that it’s perfectly safe to go back to work (it’s not, commuting and social distancing still carries risk) or shop and do other outdoor activities (again, still some risk) or send kids to school (even if the kids don’t have conditions, their teachers or parents may be at risk!). They’ve relaxed a lot of rules all at once. I’m terrified for the vulnerable. I’ll socially distance for as long as I have to if it keeps people safe, but I have real concerns about how they’ve gone about relaxing things, and there are a lot of reports about people not following social distancing advice. After all the relaxed rules, and with the Cummings debacle, there’s a danger that people will all think the rules no longer really apply. What annoys me is that they appear to be inconsistent and arbitrary. And I no longer have any faith that the government is makng decisions based on scientific advice, and risk stratifying appropriately. I honestly think they are making much riskier decisions in order to open the economy, and then nominally keeping lockdown in ways that only limit social contact in small but meaningful ways because that’s not the economy. 

[casual-eumetazoa]

1, 8, and 22 for the trans asks!

How did you choose your name?

when i first started looking for a name i basically had two criteria - i wanted it to start with the same letter as my birth name and i wanted it to be somewhat gender-neutral / have a gender-neutral variant because i IDed as nonbinary at the time. and i went through a ton of versions, like i would stay on name list websites for hours looking at names and did not like anything. especially cause i was trying to find something that would have a Slavic version and a lot of cool names i liked did not have anything close to them in Slavic languages

and in the end i picked “Matthew” because i was watching Daredevil at the time and realized that i really liked his name lol. also cause it had a gender-neutral version - Mattie - which i still absolutely love even though i realized i was really a binary trans man pretty soon after i picked that name. and it is an old name so it does have versions in both Russian (Matvei) and Polish (Mateusz) so it worked out

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

there’s not much to explain really beyond explaining the concept of being transgender. like, i don’t have the same issues as nonbinary people have at least, because everyone knows what a man is lol. in terms of explaining the concept of being trans to people, honestly i fall into biological/neurological explanations even though it is not 100% accurate to what i actually believe. as in, i do believe that gender identity comes from the brain because everything about us comes from the brain, but i don’t actually think it is all down to hormones or genes during embryonic development... 

i do agree it is at least to some extent cultural and experience-based and people with the exact same structure of those gender-determining regions of the brain (which are a pretty small part of the brain anyway, and have not yet been properly identified and described) can have different gender identities because gender identity isn’t just the sex of your nervous tissue, it’s a much more malleable and amorphous concept. culture and life experience and language and so on is definitely a part of it i think

but when i am talking to cis ppl, you know... it’s like that meme with Greek philosophers and toddlers lmao. i just go “yeah it is because testosterone has an effect on certain parts of your brain and your gender is just another sex characteristic like chromosomes or genitals” cause i am not going to give them a five hour long lecture about gender like, i just don’t have the time and attention span for that lol

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

i think so, yeah! i mean, there is empirical evidence that autistic people identify as non-cis at much higher rates than neurotypicals, so it is a pretty good guess that me being autistic has something to do with me being trans.

specifically i think that, because my brain is not as good at picking up social norms and gender stereotypes/roles, i don’t feel like i grew up “socialized as female”. i identified as a girl up until i was 16 or so, sure, but i don’t think i ever felt the pressure of gender stereotypes meant for girls... i was raised in a pretty gender-neutral way and while i did have certain experiences that are way more common for women (like being catcalled for example), it just sort of never stuck with me that i was experiencing it As A Girl yknow?

i was very aware of the societal pressure on women but it never felt like that pressure applied to me as much. and i don’t think i even grasped the distinction between girls and boys at the same age as everyone else because i hanged out with both boys and girls as a kid and it didn’t feel like, Different. idk, the influence of gender roles is so strong it is impossible to escape it completely but i do feel like it did not stick as well on me as it did on other people

also trying to figure out my gender was probably more difficult because of autism but hey, i figured it out in the end so i wouldn’t say it is a huge negative or anything

[anxietycalling]

how i spent my summer vacation

Or, where the fuck have I been these literal years? (I can’t believe it’s been years.)

I feel like I need to, at some point, talk about everything that happened between now and the point where I dropped off the face of the earth. And, like, actually talk, not that thing I do where I make a joke out of everything. So... I’m doing this up front, so if anyone actually still follows my shitshow of a life, you know what you’re getting yourself into before it’s too late.

Okay. Where to start.

Um, obviously, after the 2016 election I gtfo’d the US. Because I couldn’t legally work in the US at that point, I had pretty much no savings and no money because every dollar I did get went to supporting me and Dash because of the absolute nightmare that happened there. I’m not... mad at her anymore, not quite - I recognize that a lot of actions on both sides were the result of severe, untreated trauma and mental illness, so it’s hard to look at either of us and say that someone was the villain there. It’s hard to recognize when you’re in survival mode that your actions are self-destructive. But, anyway, because of that, I had no choice other than to move in with my parents. Which many of you are aware is not the healthiest choice for me mentally or physically.

And, again, it’s not that my parents are bad people. They’re good people who are trying their best, but there are two factors that lead to me living with them being a terrible idea. 1) My mother has a lot of unprocessed intergenerational trauma due to mental illness that she is still dealing with, and 2) Neither of my parents have ever lived in an urban center, which lends itself to a specific mindset when it comes to dealing with mental illness and LGBTQ+ issues. Which is to say, it’s hard to have a regular dating or sex life when everyone knows your business while your parents are simultaneously trying to pretend you don’t have genitals that they’re uncomfortable with. Also, I didn’t have my license at the time because I let it expire before getting my permanent one, so I was pretty much at the mercy of whoever could drive me places. (I lived in cities before that, so not driving was never much of an issue. I am highly proficient in public transit.)

So living with my parents was this precarious balancing act of trying to do everything they wanted me to do, because they were letting me live there for free, and meeting the demands of my bosses (who immediately demoted me once they found out I wasn’t planning on living there forever), and trying to have a social life outside of my family. And, like, I had just come out of the closet, so I was also trying to date without my parents finding out, because, like? It gets exhausting trying to explain why you have a right to exist and love who you want to love and I tend to get defensive when I feel like I have to justify myself. But all that secrecy really wears on you. I think in the worst of it I was probably sleeping 3-5 hours a night between the anxiety, having to walk or wait for rides everywhere, and staying up late enough after my parents went to sleep to try to meet guys on dating apps. 

Dating apps when you live in a rural area are the worst. Not only is there a limited dating pool to begin with, it sucks when someone ghosts you and then re-signs up for the same dating app using a fake name and you catch them at it. I get it to some extent; people are afraid of being outed, even if on paper we’re one of the premier retirement destination for gay couples near Toronto. (Read: affluent, white, cis gay men.) It’s gotten better in the last couple of years, but... Yeah, there just was nothing for me there. 

Obviously I had to widen my perimeter for who I was willing to date, and that’s how I met Husband. Completely by accident. My phone provider was out one day, so I didn’t get any messages from anyone for almost 24 hours while I was figuring that out. His message to me was one of the ones that got pushed through when my phone service restored itself. (I still, to this day, don’t know why or how this happened.) And there was nothing there that was inherently like, “Hey, you’re going to date and then marry this guy,” other than the fact that he actually put effort into his message instead of sending “hey” over and over again to get a response. But he was funny, and he was charming, and we fell for each other really quickly. Pretty soon all my money (which, again, limited, because the awful ladies I worked for decided I wasn’t leadership material even though they gave me no training or direction, ever) was going to taking the train here pretty much every time I had a day off from work. And I was lying to my parents about it, because they decidedly do not like or approve of dating apps or internet friendships in general.

Something happens in relationships where one or both of you are chronically ill. There comes a sink-or-swim moment in the relationship where you either step up and deal with the shit that happens, or you realize you can’t handle the intensity or uncertainty of it, and you gtfo. And... obviously, I chose the first option. Pretty much immediately after my first visit (as in, I was still on the train) Husband calls me, because his doctors are afraid that he has cancer. I go home, work exactly one day and turn the fuck around and go back so we can meet with the hematologist and find out whether he has bone cancer, Jesus fuck. Thankfully, it turned out that he didn’t; it’s something that comes up a lot because he doesn’t have a spleen and that, apparently, makes it look like you’re dying a whole lot. We ended up moving in together a month later because living at my parents was making me suicidal, which isn’t the greatest love story of all time, I know, but I had wanted to move out anyway and living with him was a much better option than random roommates.

I didn’t talk to my mother for... a month and a half, after I moved out. She kept trying to contact my friends on Facebook one day and I was ready to freak out on her for being controlling or something. Turns out, my biological father died. At the time, I was calm. Like, I wasn’t surprised - he had nearly died of alcohol-induced cardiac failure before I moved to the US, and it’s not like he had done anything to make his situation better - but it turns out I was actually in shock, I guess. The whole situation was fucking terrible; not because he died but because it kind of cemented that my only value to his side of the family was being “the only granddaughter” and not that they gave a shit about me as a person. They misgendered me in his obituary; they spelled my brother’s girlfriend’s name wrong.

I think the worst part is that they tried to make his celebration of life thing about how great he was as a person, though. And, like, I’m sorry, but great people don’t molest their children, or their children’s girlfriend. They don’t have sex in front of their children with their children’s physical abuser. They don’t make their teenage child in charge of being the sober adult when they want to go drinking. They don’t let their partner physically abuse their child when that child tries to get them both help for their drinking. They don’t trap their kid on a boat for a week with a creepy adult male stranger and freak the fuck out when that child has their first anaphylactic reaction to a novel food 20 kilometers from land or the nearest hospital. They don’t call that child on their birthday every year to remind them what a woman they are and always will be when they were the first fucking parent I came out to. 

Actually, no - the worst part of him dying was that I had to deal with his hellbeast girlfriend afterward, because apparently there was money for me in an RESP that he had never cashed, but all that got me was a shady financial representative who repeatedly wanted my mother and me to break the law over it. Like, my mom got her lawyer involved and everything, and once the legal letterhead came out the financial dude dropped off the face of the earth, stopped answering my calls and I never got my thousand pity dollars. 

And, like, things were okay for a little while after that because Husband and I were close with our roommates up until the point where it became clear that one of them had severe, untreated borderline personality disorder. I’ve lived with someone with BPD before; I’ve lived with a hoarder before. I was not prepared for the level of hoarding that this woman could produce. Or just, like, generally weird and shitty behavior and refusal to seek treatment for her condition. We tried everything we could think of, but ultimately we had to have secret meetings outside our house with our other roommate (who was dating her at the time) to figure out what to do with her. The things we found out... I’ve never wanted to genuinely harm a person before. Because she had been r*ping our roommate for months, and convincing them we didn’t want to be their friend, and using all their money because she wouldn’t go to work or apply for welfare or do the bare minimum required to be a human being. We had to get her removed by the police (who I do not advise contacting unless there is genuinely no other options) and the police acted like it was a typical roommate squabble even though we had fucking proof. So, anyway, we had to contact hell roommate’s parents and sister, and do all the packing to get her shit out of our house.

I will add that there were a few golden months right after hell roommate moved out. We got very close with remaining roommate, and it was nice, but then they started dating their current boyfriend and it just got... uncomfy for everyone somehow? They never outright said they were dating him, it was weird, one day they were like “Hey, I have a friend coming over!” and then he was just... there all the time? And they never told us they were dating? And, like, I’m happy for them, they’re great together and genuinely like each other, but it was weird. It was uncomfortable when we had to have the “We want to move out” conversation, too, because originally we had wanted to move to a bigger place with all of us, but ultimately we ended up keeping the apartment.

So that should have been fine, right? Especially since they moved in with one of Husband’s friends. Except that that friend turned out to be secretly awful and took advantage of everyone around them, and accused good roommate of being secretly racist and a bunch of other stuff that wasn’t true. (Trust me, good roommate would rather sever their left leg than do something that would hurt someone’s feelings.) And, like, I’m sorry, but you can’t use your master’s degree in social work to push around people who you know freeze during confrontations and have memory issues due to trauma, and then turn around and lead healing from trauma workshops. No. You’re a garbage human being who deserves to step on a thousand Lego. (Legos? Anyway.)

OH. Right. Before that, I had surgery. I had surgery and then pretty much the day we got home from that, the pandemic happened. At the beginning of it, good roommate and a woman who would later become one of our best friends came to stay with us because, again, horrific garbage pile of a human being in their house. Recovering from surgery took forever - I still don’t have feeling back 100% in my chest - but thankfully I was better enough by the time they moved to be somewhat helpful there. (They were incredibly smart and hired movers. We were pretty much there because we had just bought a car and could move breakable stuff.) 

Ugh. God. Sorry, I have to jump back to 2018 for a second, which is when I was diagnosed with OCD. Like, officially, I mean. It was probably pretty obvious to everyone who wasn’t me, but I always kind of thought that since I wasn’t on My Mom-level germophobic, there was no way I could have it. Uh! Turns out! Normal people don’t cry when a garbage bag that is clearly about to be taken outside touches the floor while they are putting their shoes on to take said garbage bag outside. So... I take pills now. And go to therapy. Which is very expensive. But, yeah, my symptoms were pretty fuckin’ bad then. And continued to be bad - like, bad enough that I had to quit my job in 2019 because my bosses weren’t taking it seriously enough or even listening to me. (It’s Mcdonald’s, it’s chill, they ruin or fire all their best employees.) 

Okay. Back to now. Pandemic! School! Suffering through all my pre-requisites so I can take actual interesting classes! Somewhere in there we started watching Twitch streams - I think it was because Husband found out Felicia Day streamed, and he loves her, and it kind of spiraled from there? But anyway, I somehow ended up part of this weird, delightful community that’s genuinely nice and non-trollish, and now I stream sometimes. Or attempt to stream. Or attempt to keep a regular schedule. It’s nice, though, to feel like there’s someone to hang out with when you pretty much can’t leave your house. There’s a sense of normality to being in a place at a specific time and seeing specific people. And Twitch has given me a lot of ideas on research topics I’d like to pursue in grad school. 

Like I said, it’s been a pretty mixed bag. There have been some really bad parts, but there’s a lot of good stuff that happened too. I just. I miss Old Me a lot, lately. I miss who I was before all the trauma. (I mean, obviously not all the trauma, because I don’t miss being a literal child, but like... 18-23 or so.) 

I think this might be the most I’ve written outside of a school context in actual years. Part of me keeps thinking about adding in APA formatting, but uh. You can’t really cite something when it’s just memories inside your own head. Anyway. I need to work on liking myself more, and working through some of the baggage that goes with trauma, and... I don’t know. It’s nice to have an outlet that’s not my husband or my cats. (Again, Husband is awesome, Husband is amazing, but we’re around each other 24/7 right now. I think he deserves a break sometimes.) 

So... Yep. Thanks, if you made it this far. I promise not all my posts are going to be like this. I just figured, if you were going to stick around, you probably deserved to know what happened while I was gone. 

[supermiraculousladybug]

The Disturbing Dark Truth about Cat Noir.

Cat Noir is the loveable dorky flirtatious jokester from Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir who loves to flirt with Ladybug and making her laugh by using jokes and puns but is he really a jokester or is he using jokes and puns as a coping mechanism to escape the abuse , neglect , cruel and harsh world he's born in? But whatever it is it's obvious that everything in Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir is nothing but a figment of Cat Noir's imagination and is actually an abused mentally unstable boy with special needs who sees the world differently than others due to having a childish-like personality and sorta kinda behavior.

Family Life Income.

Born to a prostitute with an unknown father, Cat Noir comes from a lesser fortune poor family who are struggling to make ends meet and making money. He's an complete opposite Adrien Agreste who lives a life of luxury and wealth while Cat Noir lives a life of slums and poverty but growing up in a ghetto-like town side of Paris wasn't easy it's full nothing but violence , rape , robbery , burglary , aggravated assault , total violent crimes , motor vehicle theft , total property crimes , battery , prostitution , street gang , kidnapping , sex trafficking , child trafficking , street gang violence , bribery , fraud , racketeering , drug trafficking and vandalism but it's sad to see Cat Noir grew up in a horrible neighborhood side of Paris where this "village" is one of the worse shanty town neighborhoods that evolved ghetto crimes which it gave Cat Noir paranoid trauma for life.

Clothing , home life and house.

Clothing.

Since Cat Noir grew up in the slums of Paris, his mother barely could afford clothes so she made his clothing from a left over fabric from a trash can and gave him her old clothes which surprisingly it fits him. So technically he shares clothes with his mother but it's sometimes he wears his dad's old clothes. His mother is a seamstress so it makes sense she made Cat Noir's clothes.

Home life.

Cat Noir comes from an abusive household where it's just him and his younger half brother, Connor get punished by their mother because they're both born male and look like their fathers but it's just their mother but sometimes their stepfather would beat them because he dislike their fathers and both Cat Noir and Connor look like their dads thus their stepfather abused them physically.

House.

Cat Noir lives in a small shack house that is a mixture between a cabin and a cottage that is located in a Western Shanty town, one of the worst ghetto neighborhood in Paris , France. In the Western Shanty town, they have cheaper old wireless TVs from either the 90s or 70s and have old TV show programs from 1920s-late 1990s but for cartoons from 1910s-late 1990s as well. Cat Noir and his family slept on an old abandoned dirty mattresses that are so uncomfortable to lay on and often the children (mainly Cat Noir) gets bed bug bites at night. Cat Noir and his family sat on old abandoned couch but mainly his mother get stoned and drunk on that couch.

Forced child labor.

From age 9-12, Cat Noir was forced to be a sex slave stripper against his will but he was taken out of school by forcedly "dropping out" during the 4th grade and ever since then the principle of Françoise Dupont Elementary School was and still wondering why Cat Noir wasn't at school like he's suppose to be. Then he was sold to Copycat, a pedophile neighbor who has sexual fantasies of Cat Noir and sexually abusing him but Copycat a lot of horrible things and stuff to Cat Noir

Molesting Cat Noir.

Raping Cat Noir.

Giving Cat Noir bruises , scars , chafing or bite marks and bleeding in/on his genital area.

Masturbating Cat Noir's teeny weeny peeny.

Smacking Cat Noir's bottom in sexual way.

Forcing Cat Noir to dress up as a french maid for sexual purposes.

Forcing Cat Noir to be in bed with him.

Removing Cat Noir's clothes so he can just have "fun" with him.

Turning Cat Noir from a sex slave to a house slave.

Raping Cat Noir in his sleep causing his insomnia to be worsen up badly.

Touching Cat Noir inappropriately from his whole body to his teeny weeny peeny.

Using sexual punishments on Cat Noir.

Using erotic spanking on Cat Noir's bottom for sexual purposes.

And Smacking Cat Noir's bottom as a form of sexual harassment.

Due to this harassment it causes Cat Noir to be extremely afraid of adult men because of the fear that they could sexually abused and harassed him even tho they're not gonna do it but Cat Noir was and is traumatized by this experiences it made him think they would do it without excepting it but he didn't want to be around grown men and not even his male aids he can't trust but everytime a grown men sit next to Cat Noir, he would cry because he amused they would molest him.

"Operation saving Cat Noir from a child molester"

In October of 2013, 12-year-old Marinette Dupain-Cheng was looking for the 10th and last child to be sold to a pedophile but it was no luck, until a random guy shows up to Marinette and tell her where that kid is but once she found him passed out on the floor, it turns out he's the boy that Ladybug was talking about and he was wearing a black tank crop top-like shirt and a blacker granny panties-like undergarments although he was underweight and severely malnourished. After Marinette notice the poor living conditions Cat Noir was in, she decide to take Cat Noir to the hospital immediately to get medical attention, once she and Cat Noir got to the hospital everyone knew Cat Noir was one of 10 children who were sold to pedophiles by their parents for money and were sexually abused. When Cat Noir woke up in a hospital bed, he sees Marinette and went speechless because he didn't know how to interact with people very well and Cat Noir mistaken Marinette for Ladybug because she and Ladybug looked like and because Cat Noir is insane-like crazy, he's unable to know the difference so it went like this

Cat Noir after he woke up: *seeing Marinette* Ladybug?

Marinette: no i'm not Ladybug🤔.

Cat Noir: *confused* then who are you?

Marinette: my name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, what's your name?

Cat Noir: *realizing* wait Marinette as in Marinette Dupain-Cheng, daughter of the best baker in Paris?

Marinette: yes

Cat Noir: nice to meet you Marinette🙂😄😊.

Marinette: same here😁.

Cat Noir: well then i'm Cat Noir Athanase Blake-Kyle.

Marinette: *realizing* wait your Cat Noir? As in Cat Noir Athanase Blake-Kyle, son of a seamstress prostitute?

Cat Noir: *sigh* yes I'm the son of a hooker who steals your man for no reason😓.

Marinette: so what's with the outfit you were wearing?

Cat Noir: I work as a stripper and a sex slave😣😖😟😫.

Marinette: why?

Cat Noir: to help my mom make ends meet.

Marinette: I get it but why as a stripper or sex slave?

Cat Noir: I had no choice but to be a sex slave stripper and because my mom wanted me to work in the sex industry due to me having a material of being someone's object or toy.

Marinette: so what you're basically someone's property or something?

Cat Noir: yes i'm nothing but everyone's "favorite" little toy to "play" and have "fun" with.

Marinette: were you uncomfortable with it?

Cat Noir: honestly yes because I don't wanna hook up with someone I don't know for money.

Marinette: so you were forced to do this against your will?

Cat Noir: yes exactly that's what it is.

Cat Noir: *bursting into tears* then 3 years ago, I was 9 years old when my mom sold me to an artist for money😭.

Marinette: wait how old are you now?

Cat Noir: *stops crying and sniff* I just turn 12 not so long ago.

Marinette: i'm 12 too.

Cat Noir: wait so we're the same age then?

Marinette: yeah

Cat Noir: What a coincidence.

Marinette: We're born in the same year but just 2 months apart.

Cat Noir: What do you mean by "we're born in the same year but just 2 months apart"?

Cat Noir: When is your birthday?

Marinette: My birthday is on July 22, 2001 and yours?

Cat Noir: interesting my is on September 25, 2001.

Cat Noir: *realizing* you're right we're born 2 months apart.

Marinette: that's right

Cat Noir: What does it mean?

Marinette: it means i'm 2 months older than you and you're 2 months younger than me.

Cat Noir: make sense

Cat Noir: But I was born 2 months premature.

Marinette: What do you mean "2 months premature"?

Cat Noir: I was originally suppose to be born on November 25, 2001 but I came out 2 months premature.

Marinette: Oh so you're a preemie?

Cat Noir: yes

Cat Noir: *arms and legs starting to shake uncontrollably*

Marinette: are you okay?

Cat Noir: *arms and legs still shaking uncontrollably* yeah why?

Marinette: because why are your arms and legs shaking-like crazy?

Cat Noir: *arms and legs still shaking uncontrollably-like crazy hard* sorry I have tremors.

Marinette: Tremors?

Cat Noir: Yeah I still have tremors since birth but sometimes i'll get seizures.

Marinette: Oh that it explains while we were on our way to the hospital, your whole body and head was shaking for 3 minutes.

Marinette: *realizes while reading facts on the article called "Crack babies" on the internet* are you a crack baby or something?

Cat Noir: Crack baby?

Marinette: Yeah are you?

Cat Noir: What's a crack baby?

Marinette: A crack baby is a baby born to a crack addict mother who used crack cocaine during pregnancy.

Marinette but you're a 12-year-old boy who still have seizures and tremors.

Marinette: so I guess you're a crack kid.

Cat Noir: What's a crack kid?

Marinette: A crack kid is when a mother who smokes crack while having a kid, when the kid is born it will be a crack baby/retarded or have problems.

Marinette: So that's what you are, a crack kid because your mother smoke crack cocaine while she was carrying you in the womb.

Cat Noir: it's not the only thing have because of my mommy's neglection action.

Marinette: What do you mean?

Cat Noir: mommy is not just a drug addict but she's also an alcoholic and smoker too.

Marinette: I look at a picture of your brain and I realize your brain is small , malformed , severely damaged and is permanent damage in your brain.

Then after that Marinette took care of Cat Noir in the hospital by being a mother figure towards him with her maternal instincts because it is something Cat Noir's mother never done before since she always ignoring him and Cat Noir needed a good parental figures and guidance in his life due to having bad parents, he doesn't know better but then again Marinette knew Cat Noir has a hard time understanding other people and everything around him in general.

Cat Noir is an autistic individual who can't understand everyone's social cues very well due to lack of interaction he barely had. Cat Noir was diagnosed with Low-functioning Autism , Asperger's Syndrome and Severe Autism or Level 3 Autism since he was 5 weeks old and due to his diagnosis, he has troubles of looking people in the eye , having interacting with others , living up to everyone's expectations of him what he should or shouldn't do including Ladybug's expectation of him how he should or shouldn't act when he's in public or when it comes to Ladybug forcing him , understanding boundaries or personal space , asking people what he wants or permission or where he wants to go , understanding sarcasm , when other people's jokes or when they're joking or when others don't understand his jokes.

Is Ladybug really convinctive , manipulative and abusive towards Cat Noir?

Ladybug and Cat Noir have been friends since 3rd grade but as they got older it was Ladybug who outgrown Cat Noir because she's more mature than Cat Noir due to him being immature , childish and baby-like but one of her other friends told Ladybug she's better off with someone who's more mature not someone who's baby-like person who can't handle "big kids" stuff and she frequently prefers hanging out with mature guys than Cat Noir so she decide to avoid Cat Noir at all cost and she forced him to grow up to act his age so their so called "friendship" isn't ruined in fact she verbally abused him for not maturing and acting his age in which Ladybug would yell at him and insulting his baby-like personality. Ladybug convinced Cat Noir his imaginations are real and she does it so often that the more she convinces him, the more Cat Noir believes it but then it got to the point where Cat Noir thinks everything he believes in his imaginations are a reality. Through every episodes of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Ladybug gets easily annoyed with Cat Noir's childish-babyish personality even tho he acts like a child or baby at times, he can't help it and be he's pressured to be "normal" , "average" and "perfect" that it's starting to stressed him out. In the New York special, Ladybug is excited to go to New York City with her classmates for French-American Friendship Week but she realizes she needs to tell Cat Noir about her absence and she gave cat plush toy with a ladybug-printed remote bottom on it but Cat Noir presses the remote button several times in excitement, making the toy in Ladybug's hand squeak and he presses the remote button again which it made Ladybug groan in annoyance. But when Cat Noir was in New York City, Ladybug was angry at him because he's suppose to be in Paris and is too insane-like crazy to come due to the risk of being put into a mental asylum or hospital.

Altho this is a big theory, it's obvious Cat Noir has a problem and why it seems unreal so I hope like it.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you have any hcs for Magnus taking ppl to pride for the first time? I kinda feel like he’d act as a guide for others, making sure everyone feels safe and happy during their first time. Like, I can picture him bringing daylighter Raphael out for the first time, showing Meliorn around (bc even though they’ve been around for a while, the Seelies don’t really do human stuff) and holding Alec’s hand while he looks around in amazement.

well surprise surprise this got very long. bet y’all never saw that coming

ok so i particularly love this ask because like, the idea of meliorn going to pride for the first time is a riot and i adore it

like seelie society has developed completely independently from mundane society in every way, hell, it existed before humans did. so there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that their culture even has the concepts of gender of sexuality, and believing that it would be the same as modern western ones is just straight up anachronistic tbh

so like personally i hc that seelie society has no gender (and therefore no concept of sexuality in the way that we see it), so the idea of pride- doesn't even make sense to them, cuz there's no concept of these identities, much less a history of oppression that would bring forward the need to celebrate their resistance like there currently is

so meliorn would want to go just to like, see what that's like and what's it all about. and the whole time they're just following Magnus around and like, taking notes. hm, interesting, what is this trans thing again? ah yes, people who dont think their personality matches the one mundanes believe would be brought by their genitals. hm. fascinating. and Magnus is just like, laughing loudly and it's the best pride he's ever been to, because he knows how ridiculous queerphobia and cishetnormativity are, but meliorn can make that so clear in their words in a way thats just, like, fantastic to hear, you know? and they dont even mean to, but it's great all the same

plus meliorn actually does feel good because a lot of people look at them and smile broadly or even wave, especially younger people who are just like, in awe of them and Magnus, who are so unapologetically gnc and indisputably beautiful, and looking at them is just like, inspiring, you know? and Meliorn has never felt this admired and appreciated and they dont even fully understand why, they're just walking around in their usual clothing and leaf makeup and everyone is just like, in love with them. and it's nice. they can tell there's an edge of sadness to the whole thing, like how their normal everyday existence seems to be so shocking and refreshing for these people, but mostly they feel good about it

later they bring their findings to the other seelies - you know, the ones who dont usually leave the realm and are way less familiar with mundane culture(s) than they are - and the others are like. shut up. there's no way this is real. the shape of their genital defines what wavelength they are supposed to find appealing? this makes no sense. and meliorn's like "idk what to tell u buddy i literally physically can't lie" and they're like surely this is an elaborate prank

but anyway it's fun and nice and they enjoy it greatly and ask Magnus a lot of questions, and Magnus loves going with them more than anyone else because its just so fun and the way this is completely unnatural to them feels refreshing - Magnus doesnt have to explain why he feels the way he feels, for once, but rather he has to explain why people dont get that, and thats a good change tbh

okay onto other ppl im sorry for this tangent djdndjdndk RAPHAEL YES. god i just. okay i love the mental image of Magnus taking Raphael to pride aaaaaaaa

like okay first of all so many layeRS to make this emotional, okay. the fact that he's now a daylighter and can enjoy being out in the sun, the fact that this is a bright costumed parade and it kinda reminds him of the día de los muertos parade and makes him feel at home, the fact that he gets to celebrate and meet other ace ppl - just, so many good things going on here dundidmdi

and Raphael was kinda unsure about going because 1- pride can get pretty sexual at times, and while he gets it and doesn't mind other people's business, he doesn't want to be hit on or participate in that; 2- big crowd makes senses go craycray and it can get very overwhelming and he's scared of overload, plus it's just not his scene in general with huge parties and such. but a part of him does want to go and he's torn, so of course Magnus is immediately like "oh dear, don't worry, i can take you, i'll make sure it's good" and Raphael is like okay

so Magnus takes him and it's :') nice, because as always he’s just so attentive. disclosure i’ve only ever been to the São Paulo pride so i’m gonna go with how it works in here but im assuming it’s not that different in like, other places. also São Paulo currently has the biggest pride parade in the world along with NYC so you know, i think it’s influential at the very least

anyway so he finds a section that’s led by ace pride groups, one that’s considerably small (in number of ppl) and spacious, and it’s. nice. very nice. magnus makes it a point to paint the ace pride colors on raphael’s face (we deserve raphael in makeup tbh) and raphael is all like “it’s fine, it’s not like i’ll want to draw a lot of attention” (like he isn’t wearing the ace flag colors already) and magnus is like hush, let me have this, i want my boy to have a good pride experience. so raphael lets him and hides his smile and lets him, and it’s. cute okay

also idk why but i have the mental image of raphael seeing some other latino guy with some sign like. “i’m not your fetish” or something of the sort, and kind of tearing up because his whole life he’s been seen as this kind of sexual fantasy that couldn’t not be about sex, much less not be interested in it, and he feels seen. and it’s nice, okay

and as promised it’s not too overwhelming in matters of like people, tactile issues and such (there’s little magnus can do about the noise other than spell raphael to decrease his sensitivity so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, which is not ideal because it makes communication a bit harder between them, but he does it anyway if raphael asks him to), and if raphael gets tired, they can always turn into a corner and take a portal back home and cuddle the post-crowd jitteriness away. so it’s a success. and raphael hugs magnus later and thanks him and says that it was so great, that he’s missed this, the energy and the colors and the sun, and he never thought he’d get to have it again, and he did thanks to magnus. and magnus hugs him back and tells him “anything for you, my boy,” and it’s the sweetest thing okay im emo

also okay this still falls under Raphael and Meliorn but the POLYCULE okay, or at least saiaphaeliorn. like sign me the fuck up for the 4 of them together at pride, meliorn and magnus helping make some cute pride-themed makeup on the other 3, just aaaaaaaaa. maia looking absolutely gorgeous with her face framed in the bright bi colors, maybe a sunny dress with the trans flag colors? just because i think she’d look so cute in like, a mostly white dress with baby pink and blue details, okay. simon just paints the pan flag on his cheek but it’s still vibrant and cute and it suits him. and ghhghghghg meliorn delicately painting raphael’s face with colorful glitter..... effervescent, okay. just beautiful

and they get to hold hands in public and laugh and crack jokes and simon loves the music and the festival and raphael smiles fondly at him and maia singing along (him and meliorn definitely don’t know what the fuck they’re singing, but it’s okay because they’re clearly happy and that makes the two of them happy too) and just duahsdiahdaiuha soft okay. also they all get to experience meliorn’s takes on the whole thing and it’s fantastic and as usual meliorn gets raphael to laugh until he almost cries, and simon smiles brightly at the sight and gives meliorn a peck for their efforts, and just aaaaaaaa

in short they’re SOFT and i’m SOFT. and look yes i know that usually parades esp big ones are super crowded (lord knows the SP pride parade is an experience) but if in SP with 5 million ppl parading i could find sections with less people where you had enough space to walk holding hands and hear each other and not be overwhelmed, then i’m sure they can too, especially with magic and powers at their disposal. so i’m going to have this

also like. as much fun as this is for magnus (and it definitely is, it’s very nice to get to enjoy to be himself openly, and to bring kids there for their first time, and you know), it’s also bittersweet because like. he was there at stonewall, he was there for the first pride, you know? and apart from the obvious part where he lost so many friends who were there, there’s just. the very bad memories of the riots, because as important as they are and as much as he obviously doesn’t regret them, riots are hard, they are the language of the oppressed. he’s had to magically protect people from being shot by the police, he’s had to withstand trial by the Clave for using magic to shield the people from the tear gas and risking being seen, he’s had to save a lot of lives and he’s failed at it sometimes, too (i’ll always hc that he’s the reason neither Marsha nor Sylvia died during the riots and you can pry that away from my cold, dead hands). and he’s also seen it be whitewashed and lose some of its resistance and meaning, he’s seen Sylvia be booed at a later march when she spoke against imprisonment, and he’s seen so much be lost

and in that sense going to pride with alec later on might be his favorite, because it’s not like, a first time where he’s trying to get everyone to have the most fun they can and shit, you know? plus alec loves watching more than he does participating, he feels way too exposed in the crowded streets with so many openings and whatnot. but watching from a rooftop, where he has the best view, can still hear the sounds and enjoy the colors and the beauty of it from a distance? that’s perfect for him, and it’s a different experience

and magnus sits by his side as they watch, hand in hand, and reminisces about everything that he’s experienced after so many years, all the changes he’s seen, how he feels pride but he also feels loss and he feels old, and he fears what happens if pride’s history is forgotten, you know? and alec listens to him, listens to his version of this story, playing with magnus’ fingers and just enjoying the sound of his voice and the sight. and it’s nice. alec is always super attentive and enjoys hearing him talk and magnus can get lost in his memories unapologetically, you know? and it’s good

but that’s later on, of course, when they’ve already attended plenty together. for alec’s first pride he probably wants it to be like, perfect, so much so that alec has to tell him to slow down again, because of course magnus wants alec to have The Full Pride Experience, but alec would rather soak it up slowly than participate in a lot of stuff, anyway. magnus paints the rainbow flag on his cheek (one of the only occasions alec lets magnus put glitter on him, then promptly complains for the next three months because i swear that stuff is still on my skin, magnus, the other day i found some on my shoes! and magnus laughs at his antics as always and alec is forced to laugh too and can’t even be mad) and they kind of stay more by the end, and alec is kind of smiling in disbelief to himself the whole time as he watches all the colors and the unapologetic way people express their pride, and magnus can’t stop looking at him and grinning, too. and they walk hand in hand and it’s cute

(later, magnus says, see, mundane culture isn’t so bad, is it? and alec looks at him with a way more serious look, full of joy and happiness, and says, no, it isn’t. and kisses him and thanks him for everything, and it’s sweet)

also I'm soft thinking about Magnus reminiscing about planning the first pride along with "his dear friend Brenda" to Alec and/or Raphael, them putting their arms around his shoulder as he tells them the softer stories, too, the good things they did

small bonus: Magnus plays 2 truths and a lie with Simon regarding his memories of past prides, and Simon gets it wrong every time and is all wide eyed by the end, which makes both Magnus and Raphael laugh :)

[nunaya-business]

Let’s Talk About Steven Universe

*WARNING* This … “essay” has my opinions only. I am not speaking for the community, I am speaking for me because I like to express myself and there are people like @susanaaatc​ out there who like these kinds of discussions. So if you want, I’d like for others to give me their whole opinions on the show as well. Hell make a whole post about it like I did and tag me in it so that I can see your opinion. With all that stated, let’s get down to Bismuth.

So Steven Universe came out in 2013 and I was 11 years old at the time. I liked Regular Show and Adventure Time, not to mention I was obsessed with Rise of the Guardians and Monster High, so I was a bit preoccupied to watch the show. Eventually though, my best friend at the time talked about it constantly and she brought up the concept of fusion. She showed me the art book of the show that she bought and it showed how two completely different gems could fuse into one gem to become stronger. This is where my interest started, and it was the same concept that started pushing me away from SU later in it’s show run. 

So fusion in Steven Universe is mostly treated as a relationship, and it’s not always just romantic. It can be between two friends, it can be seen as a more sexual relationship between two gems, a romantic relationship, or a parent-child relationship like with Steg (Steven and Greg’s fusion). This is an amazing concept and I love it so much but… I’m not here to talk about what I like, I’m here to talk about what I dislike. 

One of the best characters in the show is Garnet. Garnet was revealed in season 2 (I think) to be a fusion between the two tiny gems Ruby and Sapphire, and Garnet is the manifestation of their love. She’s an amazing example of not only a healthy, respecting, and loving relationship between two people, but also is an amazing example of a healthy same-sex relationship. You see, Steven Universe uses “code” to represent something like race, gender, and age… But we’ll get to that later. My problem isn’t really with Garnet herself, but what Rebecca and the Crewniverse has made her in to. Many have said it before, and I agree. After her reveal as a fusion, Garnet was no longer the cool, collected, fun-in-her-own-way “mom” we knew before, she turned into a fusion, and a symbol for fusion, and a representation… of a fusion. After the reveal, all the crewniverse seemed to view Garnet as… was a fucking fusion! She lost a lot of personality in the 3rd and 4th seasons in my opinion and was really only used in the plot when it had something to do with fusion. To me it’s like having a friend group with only one Asian friend and the rest a different race, and then only inviting the Asian friend to hang out when you’re going to watch Anime, or a Kdrama. It’s a bit racist is it not? Just because you can relate a character to something in the plot does not mean that character has to be there. Maybe instead of putting Garnet in every fusion episode (with the exception of “Earthlings”) just mention her. She doesn’t have to be in every damn episode that has to do with the subject. 

A lot of people have an issue with Bismuth… and I can understand that. Let me explain why. “Coding” is what a creator of any media does to give the consumer an idea of a character’s personality, race, age, gender, etc, without it being too obvious. Off the top of my head I’ll state what I view the “coded” characters as.

 Garnet, Sapphire, Sugilite, and Bismuth are coded Black.

Amethyst to my knowledge is coded Hispanic or Latina or something like that.

Pearl, the Diamonds, Opal, and Rose Quartz are coded White.

Rainbow Quartz and Aqua Marine are coded White and British.

And I’m not sure about Peridot, Lapis and Jasper are supposed to be coded as.

So the race thing has brought up some issues. In the official artbook that I mentioned earlier there was a concept design for Concrete and the design was a little… oof. People weren’t very happy… lemme just show you.

So obviously people weren’t happy that good ol’ Concrete here looks like a blackface character from the early 20th century animations. And I agree it’s pretty bad, but I don’t think it was intentional. 

Some controversial things that come from the show (other than countries like Kenya being assholes and trying to act like LGBTQ doesn’t exist) are the portrayals of two specific characters, who also happen to be fusions, and I agree with most things people don’t like about them.

Let’s start with Stevonnie. Stevonnie is the nonbinary (but let’s be honest she’s a girl) fusion of Steven Universe and his love interest Connie Maheswaran (I had to look up how to spell her last name smh). They’re supposed to represent Steven and Connie’s closeness as best friends and their growing crushes on each other. Rebecca Sugar has also stated that they’re a representation of puberty…. Excuse me? Puberty must have went swell for you Sugar. There’s someone who made a video about why they hate SU, that person being the ever controversial Lily Orchard, and she covered why Stevonnie is just… honestly she’s waifu bait. I agree with probably everything Lily says about this character because… it’s true. Puberty seriously ain’t pretty, and it sure as hell ain’t sexy until after it’s done… sometimes. Also, Sugar is contradicting herself saying that the Crewniverse isn’t sexualizing two very under age kids because Stevonnie is Steven and Connie’s ages added up… which would make the fusion 26 years old… that’s a bit old for puberty Rebecca. It feels to me like they wanted to make a sensual character, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but they didn’t really want to add a new character so they just put the two love interests together. But that’s so fucking wrong. I’m sorry, but sexualizing Stevonnie, which they are doing btw, I will make a post if you question it, is like people shipping siblings or an underage person with someone way older than them and saying “it’s totally fine because they’re just characters” (*cough cough* Ereri *cough cough* Hitachiin shippers *cough*). If you’re going to use that excuse, but then get angry at people who don’t take the character seriously because they are just a cartoon, then you’re a hypocritical asshole. Sorry to tell you. Stevonnie is a very good character overall though. I’m just uncomfortable when they appear because they’re two kids in a trench-coat with curves like an anime schoolgirl and moves like someone who just successfully seduced a poor guy into giving them the secret to the Crabby Patty formula.

Now let’s move on to Steg, the fusion between father Greg Universe, and son Steven. There’s nothing wrong with them fusing because fusion in SU symbolizes a relationship, no matter what kind. However… why do two chubby men make a sex symbol rock idol??? That’s… that’s gross. Why the fuck is Steg so “hot”? Why on earth would you create a fusion out of a father and son and think it’s appropriate to sexualize them and make them gyrate their genitals like they’re an Elvis Presley impersonator? Just… WHY? Do I even have to explain why this is so wrong? Really? Honestly??? You can fuse Steven and Greg and not make it so sexual, but nah let’s give them rock hard abs, a humongous bulge a sharp jawline that neither of the two have, and a tight ass. What the actual fuck?? 

That’s not my biggest issue though. My biggest issue is giving the Nazi bitches a redemption ark smaller than my nonexistent cock. Endeavor from My Hero Academia is an absolute prick right? He abused his children, notably his youngest, and his wife, and is an absolute asshole to everyone, but he gets a redemption arch. Do you know why it makes sense though? First off because as far as we know Endeavor never committed genocide, and second because he’s not a Nazi, he’s an abuser. Abusers, whether we like to admit it or not, can eventually see the error of their ways and understand that what they’re doing is both wrong and that it doesn’t work. Endeavor is getting a redemption arch because he obviously loves his kids, he just doesn’t know how to show it because of some circumstances we may not know. 90% of the time an abuser was abused themselves growing up, so they grow up with that resentment and they go one of two ways. They see how wrong it is and knows that it won’t get them anywhere in life if they bully others to stay on top, or they think that since they went through it and came out alive, then others should go through it too. I should know, because my dad was from an abusive family, and he turned out fine(ish… long story) while his brother and sister are pieces of shit that can’t hold a job or a home because they’re too involved in criminal activity to do so. 

What does Endeavor from MHA have to do with the Space Nazi Diamonds in SU? Well people were sending Horikoshi Kohei death threats because he had the gull to redeem an asshole, and SU fans are pissed because Rebecca Sugar had the lady balls to “redeem” space Nazis. The difference being, you can be redeemed if you were an abusive cock, but not if you’re a genocidal bitch. There’s a huge difference. 

Rebecca and the Crewniverse giving the Diamonds a 4 episode redemption arch is absolutely abominable. Peridot’s redemption? Fucking amazing, beautiful, couldn’t have done it better myself. Jasper’s? It’s currently going amazing and they’re doing a great job keeping her in character while also making her likable and even a bit charming. Lapis? Oh… let’s talk about her shall we?

Lapis Lazuli’s character is an absolute disaster. She’s a cunt, she’s a horrible friend, and my god is she abusive! Lapis was supposed to be a sympathetic character, and for a while she was. You could feel bad for her because her gem was damaged and she was trapped in a mirror for thousands of years and when she’s finally released, you understand her want to go back home and why she took the Earth’s ocean to try and reach it. It was understandable when she didn’t want to break out of the prison ship because she was anxious and scared of being locked away for another thousand years. It was easier in her mind to just behave and wait. When Jasper convinced her to fuse with her Lapis didn’t really want to, but saw an opening for the freedom of the humans and mostly for Steven, the one person who saved her from hell. But then everything went south.

Lapis and Jasper were fused as Malachite for months, obviously in a very stressful “relationship”, and apparently a very abusive one as well. When they were finally able to unfuse, Lapis was played off by the Crewniverse as a victim of abuse. This may be half true. After all we don’t know exactly what happened with them at the bottom of the ocean. What we do know however is that Lapis admitted to being abusive. This makes her an abuser. She described how it made her feel happy to abuse Jasper, or “taking my anger out” on her. She admitted to abuse and the Crewniverse still painted her as a victim. They’re both victims of abuse, and they’re both abusers. But that’s not what makes Lapis a horrible person… gem…

Lapis is a cunt… again. It’s okay to be antisocial, it’s okay to be cautious and stand-offish because you’ve been trapped, imprisoned and used so many times. What’s not okay is being a bitch to people trying to comfort or make friends with you, or try to cheer you up. Poor Peri, she was just trying to make amends and comfort Lapis after her whole ordeal with Jasper. Peri offered the cunt the thing that helped her organize her thoughts, the thing that calmed her in situations that made her anxious, the thing that comforted her and the first gift given to her by her first friend and the first person that listened to her thoughts, and the cunt destroyed it. She destroyed Peri’s recorder right in front of her, calling it garbage. Oh and the abuse doesn’t stop there, it only really began, because when shit started to hit the fan, instead of helping each other through it, Lapis abandoned Peridot and took the home they shared. Without a single thought she just took it and abandoned her, and it devastated Peri. I don’t remember her apologizing, and if she did it doesn’t matter because if I don’t remember then it must not have been very sincere. 

I’m sick of spitting negative shit so I’m gonna end this here. Personally I’ve been liking the last few episodes, but I’m not too confident that the finale is gonna be satisfying. Those are my thoughts, do with it as you will, but for God’s sake be fucking adults about it. If you don’t got the guts to curse without saying “h3ll” or “pu$$y” or something like that then you’re not mature enough to respond to this. I’m not gonna argue with 9-year-olds. I’ll only have a conversation with mature people.

[musicalluna]

a long, lonely while, part vi

this part came out a bit different. let me know what you think.

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv | part v | on ao3

--

Clint's vision is 20/10, which is as good as it gets. More importantly, he knows how to see. Actually seeing things and not just looking at them is something of a special skill, he's learned. Most people don't do that.

Point is, he does.

So he sees a lot of things the others miss. Natasha hates the smell of cooking meat. Bruce gets shifty-eyed when he sees people drinking bottles of Pingo Doce. Thor tends to poke them occasionally—Clint hasn't quite figured that one out. Steve flinches when he hears trains. Tony won't let anyone else drive, or hand him things, and since Pepper left, he's gotten progressively sicker. Things have improved slightly since Thor came back, which was when Clint realized it wasn't just break-up blues, but something else. Thor's a handsy guy and apparently just what the doctor ordered for Stark. He's still under the weather, but it's better. Clint prides himself on his observation skills, so he hates that he didn't put it together before.

He thinks he's made up for it though, because he's pretty sure he's the only one—except maybe Natasha—who realizes Steve's totally smitten with Tony. Sure, Tony can get Steve's back up in a hot second, but you only have to watch the guy for ten minutes to see the way he looks at Tony. Like he single-handedly built the 21st century. Like he's the only thing that makes sense in the whole world. Which—really? Tony makes sense to Steve. Tony.

Anyway, if Clint handles things right, this could solve all their problems. No more sick Tony, no more moony Steve. Steve might even let his hair down and start actually living in this century instead of just playing the part he's been given by rote. The team might actually work. They're coming up on the end of Tony and Pepper's self-imposed Separation Period, so that's gotta mean it's been long enough Tony can start seeing other people, right?

Clint's got arrows, which makes him the perfect matchmaker, obviously.

When he explains all this to Tasha, she pulls back mid-spar to give him the most underwhelmed look ever. “You know, sometimes you're as dumb as you pretend to be.”

“Hey, I am exactly as dumb as I pretend to be.”

Nat's hand shoots out and smacks him across the face. “You are not.”

“Ow, hey. You literally just said—”

“I know what I said. They're both fragile. Tony is touch-starved, that doesn't mean he wants a relationship again so soon. And Steve has rejected everyone I propose.”

Clint pushes sweaty hair back off his forehead. “Yeah, but have you proposed Stark?”

“No,” she admits.

“I'm telling you, the guy is gaga over Stark. You think Stark wouldn't be into him?”

“Anyone with even a marginal interest in men is interested in Steve Rogers,” she says wryly. “And Tony's interest is anything but marginal.”

“Right. So what's the problem? They hook up, Steve's happy, Tony gets all of his pent up 40s-boy handsy-ness, we all win.”

“Unless it blows up in our faces. If it goes badly, they'd tear the team apart.” Her fists clench and she looks at him, her mouth tight. “Clint. For the first time in my life I think I have something instead of nothing. And I want it. I want it so badly it scares me. I can't risk it.”

Clint steps closer, curling one hand around her fist. “What, I'm not enough for you?”

Natasha gives him a dirty look, and Clint wrestles back a smile.

“Kidding, I'm kidding. But, Tash, what if it goes right?”

Nat sighs shakily and lets her head drop forward until her forehead is resting on his chest. “Well, if they're screwing they'll be able to work out their frustration.”

Clint snorts and cups a hand around the back of her neck. “Probably mellow them both out, right?”

“Oh, god. I hate that you're probably right.”

Clint grins.

“Take it slow, okay? Steve might be interested, but he's still floundering. And Tony. Well, he's Tony.”

“I got this, Nat. Leave it to me.”

–

Clint takes it slow, as promised. Nat isn't the only one who feels like she's found something that's been missing from her life.

First, he takes Steve out for beers to verify that Steve is, in fact, into Tony.

“So is it just Stark's ass you're into, or is it the whole package?”

Steve splutters, spitting a mouthful back into the bottle. When he gets past the surprise, he drops his head forward and groans, “Am I still that obvious?”

“Your crush is visible from space, man. It has it's own zip code. Disney songs play when you look at him.”

This look of panic comes over Steve's face, and Clint holds up a hand before he can get going.

“Tony's clueless. He's kind of going through shit right now, you know?”

“I know,” Steve says soberly to his bottle. He sighs. “I can't seem to get my timing right.”

“Hey,” Clint says, elbowing him lightly, “don't write the whole thing off yet.”

So that's all he needs to know about Steve. The spark's there. Now he just has to see if the same is true on Stark's side. It doesn't have to go anywhere soon, Clint just wants to know if he's barking up the wrong tree.

“'Ey, Tony!” he calls in lieu of a greeting and gallops across the workshop to sling his arm around Tony's neck.

“Barton!” Tony complains, failing to stifle his amusement. Clint puts him in a headlock.

“Time for a break, buddy,” Clint says cheerfully.

“I've only been here an hour!” Tony protests.

Clint leans forward to look Tony in the eye. He points at his own face with his free hand. “This is me. Not caring.”

“You're a dick.”

He lets Clint haul him up off the stool and toward the elevator though. He also leans into the arm Clint still has hooked around his neck. Clint's specialty is brotherly manhandling, but, hey. It works okay.

“Speaking of dicks. You like them, right?”

Tony snorts. “Seriously?” The amusement drops out of his expression abruptly. “Uh. Please tell me you're not asking for you. Because, uh, I'm flattered, but—”

“Gross, no. There's, like, one guy I'd bang and it's not you.”

Tony relaxes into his grasp again. “Coulson, huh?”

“Not talking about that,” Clint says loudly. “We're talking about you. And dicks.”

Tony snickers. “Yeah, I'm into dicks.” He shrugs, Clint's arm riding the wave of the motion. “Into whatever, really.”

Clint glances down at him, marveling. Tony's not secretive about his queerness, but it's still kind of mind-blowing how different Tony is from his flashy public persona. “What, so like, aliens? Tentacles?”

=

“I was thinking more along the human spectrum, but...” He shrugs with his face this time. “Yeah, maybe.”

“You think Thor has a dick? Or something else?”

Tony barks out a laugh, then quickly schools his expression, elbowing Clint. “Were you raised in the circus? You don't ask about people's genitals. Wait—”

“Har har!” Clint drags Tony's head down against his chest and gives him a noogie, inordinately pleased with himself when Tony cackles and smacks at his hands.

“Asshole! Cut it out!”

Clint lets him go and they fall against the back wall of the elevator, shoulders pressing together.

“Why are you so interested in my proclivities all the sudden?”

Clint shrugs, deliberately jostling Tony. “The period of mourning is going to be over soon probably, right? I'm getting intel so I can be the best wingman ever when the time comes.”

Tony covers the arc with one hand, like he's touched, but then he says, “You are never going anywhere as my wingman, Bird Brain.”

Clint tackles him and they fall into one corner of the elevator, yelling and laughing and Clint doesn't let up until Tony's coughing too hard to breathe between bursts of laughter.

“What the hell?” Steve demands, standing in the open door. “Clint, are you tryin' to kill him?”

Steve leans into the elevator and helps pull Tony to his feet, Tony clinging to Steve's arm and giggling in between hacking coughs.

Clint smiles while they're distracted. Tony'll be ready sooner or later and he'll be okay until then.

[tessatechaitea]

The Invisibles #1

If I had to pretend to know anything about art, I'd say this cover represents how pop culture can kill. Or will blow your mind. Or feels dangerous but it's actually pretty safe because the pin is still in the grenade.

What the fuck do I know about art and why the fuck am I assuming this comic book is going to be about art anyway?! Just because Grant Morrison wrote it and I happen to think Grant Morrison has written some pretty smart comic books? Well, I'm pretty sure he's written some huge fucking turds too! It's just that I haven't read any of them that I remember. Apparently I've read a few issues of this but I don't really remember it. I don't like to tell people that I don't remember it when they talk about how great it was because that's admitting that 22 year old me wasn't a discerning critic of his entertainment. At least I also can't remember the truly garbage comic books I was reading in 1994 as well! So it's possible I read this and thought, "I'm so smart because I understand what's happening!" Now I'm terrified to read it because I'm absolutely certain I'll think, "What the hell is going on in this comic book? I'm such a stupid asshole!" Oh boy. This comic book is forty pages long. Get ready for a review that explicates the first fifteen pages thoroughly while also digressing twelve separate times before quickly summarizing the last twenty-five pages so I can go play some Apex.

I can't say for certain this is a shot at Ann Nocenti but, thankfully, I can say it's definitely not a shot at me!

This guy is Elfayed. He's retrieved a mummified scarab from the desert believing it might be a sign for the mysterious bald man with too many face piercings and the endeavor he's currently on. Which is a mystery because Grant Morrison isn't going to let the reader understand the comic book on the first page! Sheesh! The second page doesn't help explain things but it does place the word "synchronicity" burning in my brain like a buzzing, blinking neon sign.

Get it? Mummified beetle. Dead Beatles. Boy throwing a Molotov cocktail. Pop culture and violence. I think I intuitively understand this comic book so 70% of the rest of what I say will be dick jokes.

The kid throwing the explosive is one of three members of a gang called the Croxteth Posse. Every youth in Britain joins a gang no matter how stupid and lame they are. It just proves how hard they are even if they never throw one Molotov cocktail or ever even get their genitals touched. The gang members run off into the night, past some "King Mob" graffiti which will be important later, yelling, "We are the boys! We are the boys!" Is that a thing lame youth gangs in London did in the 80s and 90s? Because I remember Lister and his posse saying that shit about being the boys of the Dwarf when they thought they were acting hard on some adventure that probably involved Lister fucking a future version of himself. The Croxteth gang are from Liverpool because Croxteth is a suburb of Liverpool. It shows how imaginative these youths are. I bet there are at least fifty different Croxteth Posses bumbling about at night destroying things. The bald guys name is Gideon (and possibly King Mob. Unless the antagonist is King Mob. I should probably keep reading to find out) and he's both young and old at the same time. He's probably some kind of spirit of the zeitgeist or something, Grant Morrison's Jenny Sparks. He's looking for a new recruit for his own gang since something happened to John-A-Dreams. He might have just died of old age because Gideon's other acquaintance, Edith, is now 95 years old and sulking in her mortality. He wants her to contact somebody named Tom to let him know he thinks he found their new recruit. I think it's probably the anarchist kid because I know how stories work. I'm starting to think maybe The Invisibles are a bit like the Upright Citizens Brigade. Their only enemy is the status quo. Their only friend is chaos. Except there will be less skits with people wearing giant papier-mâché cat heads and more ultra-violence. The arsonist kid's name is McGowan and he's smarter than he acts, according to his teacher who gives him the old "you're not fulfilling your potential and your friends are just dragging you down" speech. But what kind of an anarchist would McGowan be if he gave a shit about what his teacher thinks of him? Oh, that's right! He'd be a good anarchist if he really gave a shit and a bad anarchist if he didn't give a shit but he let the teacher's words affect him anyway. That's how anarchy works, right? The problem with anarchy is that it needs a few rules to make it work well but you can't enforce any rules or else you're not living an anarchic lifestyle. Here's my definition of anarchy from Places & Predators, my roller playing game: a philosophy where anybody can do anything they want without worrying about some stupid guard putting an axe in their head. But they have to worry about everyone else putting an axe in their head all the time because there are no guards. I should probably read The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin instead of all these stupid Han Solo and Lando Calrissian adventure books.

Oh, well McGowan's mother withholds love and affection and blames him for all the ills in her life. I suppose I can now forgive him for torching the school library, right?

McGowan heads out to sit in the cold and watch John Lennon have a conversation with Stuart Sutcliffe. They joke about being dead and it's funny because they are dead. Stuart even says he wants to die young which is doubly funny because he does. Ha ha! McGowan doesn't laugh because maybe he doesn't find gallows humor funny. But some weird creature that speaks some German does laugh. He's all, "Ha ha! They're going to die young! Oh ho ho! Such jolly fun! Now join with me, you dumb kid." He also says some German stuff that I can't make sense of because I don't speak German and I don't want to ask the Non-Certified Spouse what it means. I could use Google but I'm being extra lazy right now. McGowan tells the weird German tourist to fuck off because he doesn't care about anything. But you know what kind of people actually care a lot about everything? The kind who need to tell everybody that they don't care about anything. Only people whose feelings are super hurt say stuff like that. And maybe serial killers. Later McGowan decides to prove he doesn't care by suggesting he and his friends blow up the school. Not because he cares how they think they know everything and they want him to be just like them and all adults lack affection and sincerity. No, he just wants to blow it up because he doesn't give a shit about nothing, man. The scene switches to the bald guy who might be King Mob on an LSD trip. It's nothing like taking LSD but I'll pretend it's all metaphor and analogy and spiritual nonsense. In his trip, he sees a gigantic head of John Lennon. Mostly because the whole trip was to summon this head. It's a double page spread of psychedelic images and nonsense mixed with Beatles lyrics and album titles. Strange that Morrison fails to translate an acid trip involving The Beatles when The Beatles themselves have a song that I think most feels like and describes an acid trip. No, it's not "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"; it's "Strawberry Fields." If I had to state what my favorite Beatles song was right now, I'd say "Strawberry Fields" even though Magical Mystery Tour might be my least favorite (later) album (although now that I type it, I remember it contained "Penny Lane" and "The Fool on the Hill" and "All You Need is Love" and I guess I was wrong about Magical Mystery Tour being my least favorite album). I added the later because their early pop shit doesn't really resonate with me. I don't think I appreciate their music until after they've met Doctor Robert. Just listened to "Strawberry Fields" and now I'm crying. Fucking great song. While trying to burn down the school, McGowan is caught be his teacher. He gives his teacher a brutal beating and then answers a question he refused to answer in class, just to show he's both smart and violent.

McGowan's arrested and Hugh Laurie sentences him to hard juvenile labor.

I was speaking of acid earlier and I'd like to recommend the documentary on Netflix called Have a Good Trip, especially to people who have never done acid. It's enlightening. You might think that my favorite part was one of the crazier bits about hallucinations or one of the stories about how something odd always happens when on acid (it totally does) but I think my favorite bit is when the musician from Bikini Kill, Kathleen Hanna, tells the story about how acid made her realize that you didn't have to cross the street along the legs of the two triangles comprising the square intersection but can just cross along the hypotenuse. It's not that the idea is mind blowing or even close to an "A-ha!" shower thought; it's just that's the kind of mundane thought that seems like a fucking magic revelation when you're on acid. It's the epitome of the acid experience. LSD makes the mundane profound which is way more exciting than you might think. If you've never done acid, you might have fucked off to the comment section just now to point out that the universe is a wonderful and magical and profound place even without acid. And I fucking agree. But LSD makes everything profound. Every single thing you see or think combines with the fabric of the universe and it all becomes staring at the stars and wondering how it all fucking fits together. But you don't need space or infinity or philosophy; you just need LSD, a stapler, a bottle of water, and a Jack Kirby comic book from the early 70s. Dane McGowan is sentenced to ten weeks in a juvenile facility called Harmony House. It's where violent teenage boys aren't taught to stop being violent; it's where they're taught to use their violence to benefit the government! At least that's my guess. I like to pretend I know what's happening in the comic book as I write the review and then later I delete the wrong assumptions I made and replace them with lies to make me look like a Grandmaster Comic Book Reviewer! Actually, that last sentence was a lie. Normally if I get something wrong, I just write "Oops!" later and then tell readers to forget the terrible mistake I made.

This is the plot to every young adult dystopian book ever written: "Society says conformity is good. But one young spunky individual with weird hair won't submit and will save the world!"

Sometimes I feel the only people touched by stories about the individual refusing to be a sheep of the status quo are people who tend to be sheep of the status quo. To rely identify with the hero in one of these stories, the reader needs to have though of themselves as part of the status quo and felt the need to participate in some activity that would prove that they weren't. Instead of, you know, just being themselves and never actually giving their place in society a second thought. I find odd people who are inspired by a story that tells the reader to be themselves. How is that inspiring unless you never really knew that was an option? And how could you fucking not know it?! But then again, Heathers is one of my all-time favorite movies and I suppose that's got a similar message about being oneself. But it also has murder and some seriously great lines of dialogue and Christian Slater blowing himself to bits.

Oh, remember where I mentioned this comic book was basically screaming "synchronicity" at me and that I understood it on an instinctual level after page two? Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!

The leader of The Invisibles (man, I wish the comic book would just tell me that the bald guy with piercings is actually King Mob already) decides to infiltrate Harmony House to make sure their soon-to-be new recruit, McGowan, is doing okay. I'm sure he'll find he's fine because he's not buying into the whole "be a soldier of the status quo" bullshit being fed to the young boys at the institution. It's easy to be against a Headmaster who thinks arguments like "Liberals love freedom but do they want people to be so free that they can steal their VCRs." But will he be able to stand up against the techno-brainwashing and the influence of the mystical creature running things from behind the scenes?! Probably but only with help from the Upright Citizens Brigade. I mean The Invisibles.

It's surreal that this is the way we thought of controlling the populace in the 90s: turn them into content sheep without any anger or frustration. And yet the exact opposite of that is true: control them by making them angry and frustrated at as many lies and half-truths as you can.

The big twist reveal isn't that the boys' brains are cut up and messed with; it's that the boys genitals are removed as well. Yeesh! Now I'm angry and frustrated! I'm totally against this Harmony House bullshit. Is this actually happening red states?! Horrific! King Mob (yes, they finally reveal that's the bald guy's name) rescues Dane from Harmony House while shooting a bunch of people (including the Headmaster) and blowing the building to bits. It's a good thing we learned the real antagonist was some dick-eating creature called the King of Chains. Dane McGowan isn't ready to join The Invisibles which King Mob was ready for. He had a tarot reading earlier that said the kid was going to have to be put through the wringer first. So he leaves the kid in London and disappears, just so we all know why they're called The Invisibles. I guess Batman is a member? The Invisibles #1 Rating: B+. This issue was forty pages long and it felt like it used every page to move the story along. It's insane that that's one of the greatest compliments I can give a comic book. Way too many writers just fill their scripts with nonsense because they don't have a real plan for their story. I know everybody espouses the idea that a good comic book story should teach the reader something new about the character. But unless learning that Superman can punch something harder than he previously thought he could, or Batman is super resilient and can take a ton of punishment for five issues before rising to the occasion through pure force of will, most comic book writers really don't put a lot of thought into themes. Sure, sure. This sort of feels like the mystic super hero version of Catcher in the Rye which might be why I stopped purchasing it after six issues. Although it's just as likely that I stopped purchasing it at six issues because my infrequent visits to the comic book store made me miss Issue #7 and I just gave up on it. It's not bad and it's put together well and as a young 48 year old who thinks the man can go fuck himself, I'm totally into it's message about being a unique individual! Anarchy rules!

[heavenlyhillz]

I love these pics....

So many people associate Witches with evil, colluding with the Devil, Black Magic, and somehow, eating children ( probably because of the story of Hansel & Gretel)...but these pics (of course exaggerating capabilities of a witch)allow me to discuss a few things...

Let’s start with riding brooms....It’s kind of an adult explanation, but I will try to make it G-rated. 

Long ago, people had not idea about fungi or mold, and many people ate Rye bread, as they do now...but long ago, rye bread could get a fungus called Ergot...Those who practiced the Craft, found out that Ergot was a hallucinogen (LSD is derived from it) after the 17th Century affliction of the “dancing mania” in Europe, and that it also helped with headaches (who knew?) Anyhow, they wanted to use this Ergot, and also distribute it to others...Kind of like an olden day drug dealer! LOL... 

There was a big problem though. They knew that they couldn’t consume (eat or drink) it, because it was so unpleasant and would cause nausea, vomiting, etc...so they made these drug laden salves and balms, “Witch’s Brews”, to be absorbed through the skin...They realized that through the skin, they would get the desired hallucinogens, without the bad side effects, and the fastest, most effective and receptive areas of the body for absorption were through the sweat glands in the armpits, and the mucous membranes of the genitals.....

Ok...now the kicker...to distribute these salves or balms with maximum effectiveness...the used the handle of a broom....hence the term “witches riding broomsticks”....and because they were high...they were “flying”...I know..shield any child’s eyes from this note!! 

On to the next images....

Cats, bats, owls, ravens, crows, goats, and almost every other animal, arachnid, reptile, amphibian, fish or aves on the planet, have been written, sung, or spoken about being a witch’s ���familiar”. I’m sure I don’t have to explain what a familiar is, but in actuality...we’re just like any other person, and love animals...Ours just happens to be very special to us, and we respect them, as part of nature...Familiars’ and their energies are believed to help with spell casting, protection, warding off evil entities,etc...In my family, we grew up surrounded by many different kinds of animals, and not all were familiars (we each had our own...an animal that picked us, and not the other way around)...and I continue to have many animals in my home...Again, we each have our own, that picked us..* Just a quick note here...A familiar, is one energy, that can live as a cat in one life, and then perhaps as a dog (as an example), throughout a Witch’s life...My first Familiar animal, didn’t actually find me, until I was 12,...until then, I was watched over, by my mother’s...I’ve had a couple of other’s since then...and currently have one, that likes to sleep in my large cauldron (it’s a family heirloom..about the size of a large pumpkin)...

Ok now, the “Witch Aesthetic”...

Yeah, you’re going to see a lot of black...not because we feel dark and mysterious in it, or that it looks good on everyone and with everything (that’s just the bonuses)..but it’s because black “absorbs all colours of our visible spectrum” and enhances the strength of our powers and energy. Colours are important to us. Colours represent different things, such as green for money, red or pink for love, etc., and so some will wear a colour, to draw or repel, whatever they want. It wasn’t always the clothing that would be coloured and worn. Sometimes flowers, herbs, or feathers would represent the colour wanted, pinned inside or on clothing, in the hair, on the shoe, or in the hat or bonnet. Sometimes even carried in a sachet, worn against the skin.

Crystals, a pentagram, which is a 5 pointed star - upright (not angled or it would be a Devil’s pentagram), talismans, sachets with herbs, oils, powders, or what have you, a spell book or two (otherwise can be known as a Grimoire or Book of Shadows), an unusual hat ( perhaps wide brimmed or a little pointed), are all things that can be seen on a witch...but not all witches. Some witches do not dress, at all what you would think a witch would dress like. In fact, you probably wouldn’t know that you were around a witch, unless they wanted you to know. Most wear just regular clothing, and may not have anything “witchy” showing..

By the way...

The whole thing about people sensing a witch around...that’s not entirely true. In my experience, only a handful of people have ever come up to me, and told me that they knew what I was (not including other witches)...but I am a people person, too, so people gravitate towards me anyhow...and then there’s children and animals..They can sense who is good and who is bad. Most witches have balance in their Craft, often tipping towards positivity, and kids will pick up on it, and are often drawn to us, because for the most part, we are good. The same goes for animals...If you find that your child or pet, steers clear of someone...listen to them. there IS a reason...

As well....none of the “witch tests” actually work, our wands don’t actually shoot lightning or energy of any kind, out of the tips, not all of us can predict the future or see the past, we can’t turn you into a frog, and we don’t eat babies! Not all of us live in haunted houses, with cobwebs and weird friends, either. I have some weird friends, but that’s besides the point! Ha! 

We can attend church, live within a religion, have families, swim in water, go in the Sun,...any and everything else, anyone else can do....We are as different to each other, as any other person is, to us...and we all follow different paths, in the Craft. We are from all walk of life, all ages, genders, etc...but we are ALL HUMAN. We laugh. We cry. We get angry. We bleed. We all have feelings....

Ok...I could go on...literally for hours, but I think this is long enough...If you have questions, message me...If you’d like me to write about anything witchy, let me know,...I think this blog will be about real life, as a witch, without the fluff. Maybe even a little about history, or where stigmas and assumptions come from. 

I won’t be sending spells, in any private message, or posting spells. That would be irresponsible, and I don’t want to be responsible for what someone else does. I won’t be posting the typical pics or memes, that others have, either...because that’s not what I’m about. I may post pics or memes, in order to discuss fantasy vs. reality, though, or how magic is already in your life and you may not have even known it! I never really know what I’m going to write about, until I start writing, unless there’s something that I just need to get out! 

On that note, take care, and have a great day! 👍

[jabbers-written-world]

Character Creation

Okay, first things first. Most people seem to think that to create a character, you need a setting first, and perhaps you even need to know the plot. The truth is, you technically don’t. Not for the very basic character skeletons. All you need for that, is this basic profile.

Name: 

Age: 

Height: 

Weight: 

Gender: 

Sexuality: 

Personality: 

Appearance: 

Motive: 

Flaws: 

Backstory: 

Looks pretty simple, doesn’t it. And it is. This is the most basic character profile skeleton, and I myself often use this, even for the most minor of background characters. Why? Because everyone is the protagonist of their own story. Even those characters that only get one line of dialogue, or maybe they don’t even get that much. But they are still there. They are still a character, and the more you know about them, the more real and believable your story will be.

Now, let’s get into this a little further, shall we?

Names

This can be literally anything you want it to be. You want to call your protagonist Mugwump Doozeldorff? Go for it. But, here’s the catch. You have to think about why. Why did you name them that? Why would they go by that name? Think about the reasoning, and the plausibility. You can name them absolutely anything, but you can’t pass it off as a simple joke, really. Are they named after a legendary hero? Do their parents just hate them? Is it a common name in their culture? Is it a respectable name where they live, while a name like Steve is considered strange?

These questions help to develop not only your character, but the world around them as well. It even helps add to your character’s backstory a little, because it lets you start thinking about their parents and their family as well. In addition to this, something I tend to enjoy doing, is I like to look into the meanings behind names and where they came from. The meaning of a name can also give insight to a character, whether it’s their role in the story, or a personality trait.

So yes, you can name your character whatever you want to name them, but name them with a purpose. Think of it like a parent naming their newborn baby. Parents choose the names of their children for a reason, and often spend time debating names before the child is born. Do the same for your characters.

Age

This is another choice that should be made with particular intent. Don’t just pick a random number and be done with it. With age, comes experience. Not necessarily wisdom or intelligence, but experience. And experience can come across as wisdom the other a character is. For example, say you create a character who is a human in their mid-70′s. They have experienced a lot in their life. They have seen decades go by, and watched the world change. And they can teach younger characters about these experience, and share what they know of the past, to help those younger characters move toward the future.

On the opposite end, the younger a character is, the less they’ve experienced, and the less they’ve been affected by the way the world has changed, if it has at all in their lifetime. A ten-year-old kid is less experienced than a 25-year-old adult. But even that 25-year-old is less experienced than that person in their mid-70′s. As well, as people age, we develop different speech patterns.

Very young children often tend to talk a lot, and at a quicker pace, and they mispronounce words, or sometimes repeat phrases they don’t know the meaning of. Older children and preteens are still often eager to share what they know, and still may talk quite openly, and may even mispronounce a few things, but they know better now. Teenagers no longer mispronounce things, and they’ve developed a more unique speech pattern specific to themselves. This may carry some heavy pauses, or a tendency to say certain words more frequently.

Adults between 20-50 are more settled into a consistent way of speaking. They speak with intention, and some are more charismatic and well-spoken than others, but there is a deliberate intent to what they say, even if they might be wrong in saying it. And adults and elders between 50-100 even have their own ways of speaking. Still with deliberate purpose, but they think more on their words, and do their best not to offend. At least, until they’re around 80-100.

At that point, any filters are thrown out the window, and elders say what they want. Doesn’t matter if anyone else shares their opinion. They have one, and that’s that. Yes, you can get those sweet and gentle elders that are still so polite and kind, but even they lose their filter and speak just as openly as a young child, just now they have more experience to go with it.

So yes, be purposeful with the age you give your characters, because you’ll have to stay consistent with it. Now, I used humans as a base reference for this, but there are of course all manner of other beings that you can play with, and they all age differently. Especially if you’re working in the realms of fantasy, or the different planets of sci-fi. Elves tend to age much slower than humans, but there may be an alien race somewhere that ages faster. Vampires don’t age at all except in particular circumstances, and there may be aliens that are effectively the same.

In the case of aliens, it’s a good idea to look at various animal species on Earth first. How do they age? Do they have longer or shorter lifespans than humans? These are all things to consider when creating aliens for a sci-fi novel, or even if you intend to create your own fantasy species. All in all, age is important. So choose carefully.

Height and Weight

Something to consider when creating a character, because the bigger they are, the more trouble they may have with doorways, or the smaller they are, the harder it may be to reach things on high shelves. And in addition, weight changes proportionally to height as well. A taller person may be heavier, while someone smaller would be lighter.

Of course, every person is an individual, and sometimes tall people are skinny or short people are chubby, and vice versa. Still, it’s a good idea to research healthy body weights, and use it as a basis for fantasy races or aliens as well. And you should always consider if their weight comes from fat or muscle. Muscle is of course denser than fat, and by all accounts weighs more. So pay attention to that as well. Even if someone is for example, 6′2″ and skinny with some nice, lean muscle, they may still weigh around 200 pounds. Why? Because they’re tall, and they have muscle.

In addition, weight certainly plays a part in whether or not a character can reasonably walk across something that may break if they’re too heavy. Like thin ice, for example, or a rickety old rope bridge. Make it believable. And I am by means telling you that your characters all have to be at healthy weights. Just think about why. If they are underweight, why is that? Do they just have a very fast metabolism, or are they malnourished? If they’re overweight, why? Is it genetic, or did something else cause them to gain weight?

Again, make it believable.

Gender

We all know this is not synonymous with a person’s physical sex. This is in regards to a gender identity, not what genitals they happen to have. And again, this should be chosen carefully. Honestly, this is one thing that should be chosen even more carefully than anything else, besides perhaps sexuality. Because having a different gender identity than your assigned sex does come with burdens and stresses.

Also, if you intend to write a character with a gender identity that differs from your own, it is always a good idea to do your research, but even that won’t give you everything you need to write that identity properly. Talk to people with that gender identity. Get to know them and understand them, but don’t just talk to one person and call it a day. Like I’ve said, every person is an individual. And individuals all have their unique views and experiences. Talk to as many people as you can.

Otherwise, you can go right ahead and write what you know! Want more good representation of your gender identity? Absolutely go ahead and write it. Drawing from your own experiences is a great way to really develop a character as a real person. Be careful making them too much like yourself, though. It can be a tough market for those sorts of stories. You can absolutely go for it if you like, just be aware that you may learn things about yourself that you realize you hate more than you thought, or ever even knew you would. Believe me, I’ve already faced that in my own writing.

And of course, if your character’s gender identity does differ from their assigned sex, you are of course free to make a note of that when creating their ‘file’, so to speak. Because that is what this is. You are creating a file detailing information about your character, like a detective with a case file, or a psychiatrist with a patient file. All their little ticks are important to make note of.

Sexuality

Yep. This is another big one. Sexuality, as in who your character’s romantic and/or sexual interests may be, definitely plays a part in your character’s opinions and actions, and their personality. It changes how they view themselves, and how they view others around them as well.

Is your character a young boy figuring out how to handle being homosexual in an environment where it’s not accepted? Or is your character a heterosexual young girl in such an environment? Is your character attracted to both males and females equally? How does this correspond to their culture and environment? Or perhaps your character doesn’t experience any sexual attraction or really have much interest in the whole thing. Or maybe they’re that type of character that.. well, is perfectly happy getting down and dirty with anyone, anywhere, any time. Doesn’t matter the species, or the gender, or the sex.

And again, like with gender identities, do your research if you’re writing something different from yourself. Talk to people, get to know them and their experiences to write something from the perspective of a character like them. As writers, we are only capable of writing from what we know and have taken the time to learn about.

Personality

This is one of the most key details of any character, regardless of gender, sex, appearance, or species. This is what decides how they act, how they think, and even how they move. Confidence can make a character walk tall with their head held high, but if your character is the shy, quiet type, they’re more likely to keep their head low, and do their best not to draw attention.

Personality traits also define how easily angered your character is, or if they’re the non-violent type. It decides if they like things clean or messy, if they cry easily or not at all. This can also be affected by your character’s backstory, because.. well, aren’t we all changed a little bit by the things we lived through? That being said, this again should be done with intention. Yes, sometimes it can be fun to put our characters through hell more than once, I know I’m guilty of being a bit of a torture master sometimes, but too much trauma, and you end up with a character who can never recover.

So it’s a good idea to choose your character’s personality with intent, and be sure that you can keep to it. Even if you need to refer back to your character’s file, try to keep things consistent. Now, I’m not saying your characters can’t grow and change like real people do, but it should be believable, just like everything else.

Appearance

Here’s where you get to have a little fun, but again, think about what you’re doing, and how your character’s appearance and physical features may affect how they get around or how people react to them. Still, extra features like wings or tails can actually be helpful tools for getting some emotion across too. These are very expressive body parts.

You are free to decide your character’s hair color, eye color, their skin tone, how their body looks, how their hands are shaped, do they have weird feet, or maybe they have an odd birthmark somewhere. And of course, height and weight play into this too. Just know that you should know how to have your character’s looks also affect their surroundings. Are they attractive? Are they not the best in the looks department? If they have a different skin tone than is common in the area, how do others react to that? Every detail plays a part.

If you’re planning to give your character wings, think about them. Do some research on different types of wings. If your character has large feathery wings like a bird, what kind of bird are they most similar to? Or are they more like bat wings, or perhaps dragonfly wings? Just remember that if your character has wings, they should be noticeable even in the small details, not just something that’s there for the sake of convenience. Wings are very expressive.

Watch a few birds for a while, make note of how they move and use their wings. Feathers can stand on end when a bird is upset, or cold, or even too hot. Your character can spread out their wings to make themselves bigger if they’re trying to be intimidating. Or if they’re happy, maybe their wings give a little flap or buzz (if they’re bug wings) in excitement. As well, how large wings are can affect how your character fits through doorways, so be mindful of that as well.

Tails too are very expressive. Dog tails wag, cat tails twitch and quirk and display all kinds of emotions, even a cow or horse’s tail will move and flick back and forth depending on their mood. When a cow or bull gets upset, they can start lashing their tail. Horses too. Even a bird’s tail fans out or gets ruffled whether they’re happy or upset.

And there is also a lot of expression to be had if your character has ears different from those of a human. Do your elves’ ears move like a cat’s with their feelings? Or maybe a half-dragon has ears that occasionally twitch and wiggle like those of a cow. Everything makes a difference, and even if your character is typically the stoic type who doesn’t express much on their face, if they have other features like wings or a tail, or even different ears, those things aren’t as easily controlled if they want to hide their feelings.

Motive

Another fun little bit here. This is your character’s goal in life, and this can change over the course of the story, especially if they achieve their goal. Motives can be as simple as a child wanting to catch a very particular bug, or as grand as a rebellion leader wanting to protect his people. Again, though, these have to have purpose, and often they may tie into your character’s personality as well.

Still, as ever, we have to ask the question of why. Why do they have that goal? Why are they struggling so hard for this? Or, why aren’t they trying harder? As well, we of course have to think about (especially for larger goals, like rebellion for the sake of the people or a world saving quest) what the character is willing to sacrifice for their goal.

That kid who wants so badly to catch that bug. What is he sacrificing? Snack time, and to a kid that can be a pretty big deal. That rebellion leader protecting his people? He’s willing to sacrifice his own life to keep them safe. Even someone who wants to be with their true love, they may have to sacrifice family ties for that.

Motives create sacrifices, and sacrifices can certainly affect your character’s experiences. Also, you have to think about, is the sacrifice worth it in the end? Say your character was trying to save their best friend from a horrible fate, and to do it, they lost their eye because it had to be used as collateral to seal the monster. Was that worth it, if they still didn’t manage to save their friend in time? Is the little kid’s sacrifice of snack time worth it if now he’s really hungry and he still hasn’t caught the bug yet? Always think about if the motive is worth the sacrifice.

Flaws

These are the great equalizers. So your character seems like the knight in shining armor type, and they’re so perfect and everything they do is for a good reason and- wait. What do you mean they’re rude and biased about another species. Should that be considered racist? Well, maybe not completely, but negative biases like that can be a problem. So you see what I did there, right?

The perfect good boy, practically a shining example, suddenly brought back down from his pedestal to be just like the rest of us humble peasants. Flaws humanize people. They balance the good traits with some bad ones. And no, I’m not saying you should make all your characters racist. Not all flaws need to be grand and life-changing.

Like the kid with the bug. Yeah, we’re back to him again. Okay, so he’s a kid. Who’s sacrificing snack time to catch the stupid bug. Let’s say this kid is a pretty polite kid, he says please and thank you like he was taught, and he’s pretty easy to handle most of the time. Except.. uh-oh. This kid drew on his mommy’s newly painted living room wall yesterday! Even though she told him not to draw on the walls! Does this suddenly make this kid a horrible little demon spawn who no one would ever like? No. He’s just doing what kids do.

People develop flaws, often based on what they were exposed to growing up. So what about that character with those ugly, negative biases toward another species? That’s the rebellion leader again. He wants to protect his people, would sacrifice his life to keep them safe, and yet.. he thinks things like that? Oh, boy, people are gonna hate this one, right? Well, maybe, but what if I told you, he has his biases because it was members of that same species that killed his parents when he was only seven? What if I told you that members of that same species were cruel overlords that took over his home city?

Flaws have reasoning, and it’s usually because of life experiences and what people are exposed to, especially from a young age. Some of them though, may just be flaws because of the character’s age. Like that kid with the bug that sacrificed snake time and drew on the wall. That’s a kid being a kid. He’ll grow out of that one.

Sometimes, flaws can be used as a jumping point for a character to change and improve. The rebellion leader with ugly biases? He’s recently met some other members of that same species, and didn’t even know it before he became good friends with one of them. He got upset when he learned what they were, but that friendship he made, it changed him. He has his biases, but they’ve been softened by a good friendship. He’s learning not to be biased towards the whole species, because it’s not all of them that are the problem. Just a few giving the rest a bad reputation.

So you see why flaws can be a good thing, even if they are something as dramatic as some.. pretty nasty biases.

Backstory

This. Decides. Everything. How your character acts, what their experiences are, where they came from, what their culture is, why they may be hiding their sexuality or not hiding it. Everything. Like I said with that rebellion leader, his flaws are because of his backstory.

He was seven years old and watched his mother and younger sister killed right in front of him. Pretty traumatic for a kid to witness. Not only that, but they dragged his father into the center of the city and killed him as an example to the rest. Yikes. And as if it couldn’t get worse, one of them nearly tore off his leg, so now he needs a brace to even walk right.

Yes, this is one of my.. tortured characters. Him, and his best friend, who was enslaved by the same people who killed the rebellion leader’s parents and sister. Captured when he was three years old and raised in that nightmare. Yeesh. You’re probably thinking I need to pull back on the depressing backstories for a while, huh. Yeah, I probably do. And by no means do you have to follow my example.

Maybe your character had a great life. A great childhood with loving parents, got to visit their cousins every summer at their grandma’s house, everything was great. But then maybe they had to move from their childhood home, and it felt like the end of their whole world. It wasn’t, because life goes on, but it sure felt like it. And they’ve moved several times since then for different reason, and maybe it’s making them worried that they’ll never have a permanent place to call home, so they don’t get attached to places.

See? Even a happy backstory with a couple small bumps can have big effects on the character’s outlook on life. Backstories don’t have to be wild and dramatic to be important, and your character certainly doesn’t have to be dragged through hell and back to be interesting. It all depends on how you work with it.

Species

Now’s where things get really interesting. Humans should never be ruled out as strong characters, especially if they live in a fantasy world, or even if they’re surrounded by big tough aliens. Humans are tough. We are resilient, and we compete for everything. Space, food, love, happiness. We toughen ourselves up and live on a planet that.. to be fair, is sort of trying to kill us. But we are survivors. The human race even in the real world has gone through a lot of pain, but we survived.

Still, if you don’t want your character to be human, that’s fine too. There are literally hundreds of species out there to choose from, and you can even create your own. Want an alien a furry lizard face, four arms and a tail with porcupine spikes? Okay, that’s cool. Want a fantasy creature that’s sort of like an elemental spirit but also like a genie? Sounds good to me.

But of course, like everything else, your character’s species comes with important questions to think about. You know where I’m going with this by now. Everyone, say it with me. WE MUST ASK WHY. Why is always going to be the most important question you ever ask as a writer. Why did you choose this species? Why is this species living where it is? If they’re the last of their kind, why? As well, you need to think about the limitations of the species, as well as what they may be able to do better than humans.

Can your character fly? That’s great! But that also means they probably have large wings that may be difficult to fit through a doorway. Do they have huge claws great for digging tunnels? Awesome, but now that may cause some trouble trying to pick up small objects. Does your character have more than two legs and run super fast? Super cool, but now they have more legs to worry about and coordinate when doing other things, like sitting or even climbing up stairs. Maybe your character is a super big and strong rock monster. Absolutely fantastic. But that sort of makes them less than comfortable to hug, and also they have trouble fitting through doors.

Every species has their strengths, and their limitations. So, like with everything, we have to be aware of the details, and think about the balance. As well, things should be fairly believable for your world to seem real enough. Well, unless realistic isn’t what you’re going for. If that’s the case, ignore me. Go nuts, my friends. But from a believability stand point, your species’ limitations should make sense. Like the big rock monster for example. He can’t fit through door too easy, but what else? You wanna make him horribly hurt by water? Eh.. That’s Pokemon logic and if you want to go with that, that’s fine. But there are other things that could work better. Metal won’t hurt him much, but acid does. He’s got a hard, impenetrable shell of stone? Oops, there’s a gap in the rocks making a weak spot.

What about a person with dragonfly wings, like a fae or something like that? Ooh, very nice. Good with magic, tend to be rather pretty, and- Oh. Oops. Their wings rip like wet paper. Ouch. Also, there is real mythology that elves and fae, and species like them, they are repelled by or even hurt by or can’t use their magic when in contact with iron. You wanna put your elf in an iron prison cell for the sake of storytelling? Great, but remember that they won’t be able to use any magic to escape, and that iron could even possibly burn them. Even if it isn’t hot.

So, keep in mind your species’ limitations, and have fun building your world now around these characters you’ve created. Creating them gave you a great starting point, so go on! Write something fantastic!

[bunnyblooms]

OKAY FUCKER ALL THE QUESTIONS FROM THAT ASK MEME THE LGBT ONE

1. Identity and pronouns.

I'm agenderfluid and they/them pronouns. My sexuality is aroflux and asexual.

2. How did you discover your sexuality?

Pretty much at 14 was like "idk i don't relate to everyone else i don't find celebrities hot or sex remotely something i want. If i could reproduce without sex i would. Oh. I'll just call myself asexual, like a sponge!" (Which asexual is incidentally what the creators of Spongebob were going for, fun facts. Spongebob is ace rights.)

3. Have you experienced being misgendered? How do you overcome it?

Mmmm I am constantly misgendered bc I'm nonbinary and live in a binary society and the way I compartmentalize it is basically just dressing how I want and not making an attempt to pass as anything tbh. The only time I feel misgendered is when someone knows my pronouns and doesn't use them anymore tbh. So basically. Letting go of how I want to be perceived helped. I will say tho, I refuse to come out to my dad bc he won't respect it and it'll be more painful hearing him misgender me knowing how I identify, but. That's certainly a privilege I have since I'm not transitioning. (ATM at least.)

4. Who was the first person you told? How did they react?

I technically didn't come out as ace. My ex-best friend knew bc I talked about it, but neither of us knew it was an identity. So the transition upon finding the label was virtually nonexistent and all of my friends were LGBTQ as well so it wasn't stressful or shocking. It helps that around the time I discovered the label I'd met two friends who were ace and felt the same way I did. My experience with my asexuality is definitely the model that should be the norm with the community and what we as a society should aim for.

As for my gender I'd made comments in the past that I wished I could just be genderless and it really kind of sat with me when my ex-best friend came out as trans bc I was like "Oh? You don't have to be the gender you are at birth?" Belial from Angel Sanctuary was a character that resonated with me at the time, and this was right around the time I made my ace friends. It wasn't until a year later that I discovered the nb community and one friend who was genderfluid that I decided to start trying different pronouns. And basically I came out as questioning and transitioned to nb without a formal declaration, which I also feel should be the goal for society.

I was at a con with my best friend at the time who was trans and he'd come out with my now ex-best friend while they were dating. And I was really anxious bc I felt like ppl would assume I was a transtrender and shit, and my friend said something about gender and I kind of awkwadly implied I might not identify as female and he was really great about it! He was like "If you wanna talk about it or try different pronouns you can." :D

5. Describe what it was like coming out.

I pretty much did this im question 4 hehehe.

6. If you're out, how did ppl react?

I'm not out to family, that I know of. They found my facebook which has my identity listed in my about, so I'm in limbo with them where none of us talk about it so idk if they register it as an LGBTQ thing or not.

My friends were all supportive! It helps that I have like no cishet friends lmao.

I also came out to my class on TDOV two years ago for a project where we step outside our comfort zone. I'm luckily in the social work program which has social justive built into the tenants of the profession so it was pretty positive! People still misgendered me after and were more concerned with "but i'm scared of ppl getting angry at me what should i do to talk about this with them" which. 9__9 Not surprising. But there was a mom whose kid and her kid's partner are both genderfluid and bigender so it was a good experience and I had an ally which made me comfortable in sharing it in the first place.

7. What is one question you hate ppl asking about your sexuality?

Inevitably when I say I'm ace, non-aces assume I have no interest in dating which. Way to conflate being aroace with ace and ignore that there are aros and aces who want relationships. That's my biggest pet peeve.

8. Describe the style of clothing you often wear.

I wear flannels and ripped jeans or shorts mainly. I basically dress like a butch lesbian. I'll wear dresses and stuff but I do not like dressing femme and prefer to offset softer things with hard things. Like. When I wear dresses I have to wear clunky combat boots with them or have short hair or something.

9. Who are your favorite LGBTQ+ ships?

Hmmm. Depends if you mean canon or not. Canon, it's probably FigAyda from D20 and Catradora from She-ra. Shion/Nezumi from No.6 is also one of my faves. There's also Chie and Ai from Virgin's Empire. Blupjeans from The Adventure Zone and JonMartin from The Magnus Archives.

As for Not Confirmed ships, I like Flick/CJ from Animal Crossing, Tsuna/Enma from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, uhhh. Reigisa from Free!, Kanji/Naoto from Persona and Chihiro/whatever the fuck his name is Mondo? Or the other guy I forget, from Danganronpa. Also RenLaw, RenStrade, and VinceLaw+VinceFarz from BTD.

(I am including straight relationships involving trans ppl obv.)

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I hate how I look with make up it makes me dysphoric. But to me makeup is a good expressive outlet and bomb as hell, so when I do wanna wear makeup, I prefer wearing eyeliner and lipstick (esp in black or blue or green or purple) and glitter.

11. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you?

I experience what I refer to as Silhouette Dysphoria a lot. I experience chest dysphoria but a lot of times it's less about me having them at all and me not liking how I look with them. The same goes for my hips and overall shape. Hence silhouette. I also experience genital dysphoria to a lesser degree, and when I do it's less hating my genitals bc they should be different but more just having any at all. Luckily I was born with internal genitalia so I don't have to think about it as much. Social dysphoria I also experience, but I've talked about that already.

How I deal with it is binding and stuff.

12. What is the stupidest thing you've heard said about the LGBTQ+ community?

Hmm. The ppl who genuinely argue that accepting the community means you'll be forced to accept pedophilia or beastiality. Like. Lmao no?

13. Favorite thing about the community?

I just love how great it feels to be in it tbh. It can be so positive and loving and just genuinely make you feel good about yourself.

14. Least favorite thing about the community?

Exclusionists.

15. Have you ever been to your city's pride event?

No, but I went to Pride in Des Moines!!! IT WAS GREAT!

16. Favorite LGBTQ+ celebrity?

I don't really follow celebrities, but probably Ian McEllen and Tim Gunn.

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

I was in a relationship for a while with a friend of mine and it was wonderful tbh. We met in a server and started talkng more, and started out as qpps then became partners and like we broke up, but I still enjoyed the experience and wouldn't go back in time and stop it from happening. My other qpp tho. That's something I would do lmao.

I also have a bf but that's a secret~

18. Favorite LGBTQ+ book.

I haven't read a lot of books, so I guess I have to say The Raven Cycle bc that's the only one I remember reading.

19. Have you ever faced discrimination?

Mmmm the only time I have experienced direct discrimination I was giving a friend valentines chocolate in high school and some kid called me a d*ke when i walked past him.

The other stuff is like. My therapist telling me to check for a hormone imbalance when I said I was asexual.

20. Favorite LGBTQ+ movie/show?

She-ra, "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything", The Runaways (the movie not the show), No. 6.

21. Favorite LGBTQ+ bloggers?

I don't have any lmao.

22. Which slur do you want to reclaim?

Queer, bc it's already been reclaimed and it fits me.

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar or drag show? How was it?

Nope. Never, but it'd be fun!!

24. How do you idrntify your gender?

Already answered this lol.

25. Interested in having kids?

Nope. I'd be too scared of screwing them up.

26. What identity service would you give your younger self?

I wish I'd known there was an ace community before I was older tbh. So that, probably.

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I personally like playing a feminine role, but I also think gender roles are unecessary, so like. As long as I'm an equal I don't care what role I play lmao. If you wanna treat me like the handmaiden, as long as you're not doing it bc you see me as a woman I don't care.

28. Anything else you wanna share about your gender?

Nah. Just. I don't bother trying to pin it down anymore bc the more I analyze it the less I understand it.

29. Something you wish ppl knew about being LGBTQ+?

Hmmmm not really. It's fun outside of the systemic oppression?

30. Why are you proud to be LGBTQ+?

For me it's less about pride in being LGBTQ+ and more being proud to express myself authentically. 🤷

[princess-peregrine]

Long post, just keep scrolling

ok watching booksmart, this post is tracking me watching it

Okay movie is open

word doc is open

not going for tabs here I guess

so anyway

was on a site, found this movie called book smart and the cover caught my eye, so now i'm watching it. Also I googled if it was gay and it is so that's the main reason

okay first scene is odd

lol fuck them

omfg I love her already

THEIR DANCING IS THE WORST BEST THING YET

hehehe, ass president

fuck samantha

so the principle is very smart and doesn't like any of them

omfg teacher crush girl I love you

everyone loves this teacher! And so do I!

Jared you are nice, but why

rood, her outfit is a solid six out of ten

OMG the head tilt! She leaned on her and and gazed!

When does the super duper gay happen

omfg

skateboard girl

SHE WAS A SKATER GIRL

oh that was a guy? I really can't tell, the adrogony is strong on this one

ryan is a girl so yes the lesbian

ryan's nickname is avril lavigne

“well with her there'd be more, vagina involved.”

omg the way the music cuts out is so odd

I love her car

I want that car, it has flame paint

I am the girl with the scarf, she is me, like for real, that is me

is she in the wrong, yes she is

this bathroom scene is the kind of conversations I would sit in the middle of and not talk like for real it is so nostalgic

their dick drawings are terrible

I love the hippie, he's nice, he's understandable, fuck the government man

omg shit got darker and more grainy

I love the side character hope

she is just upset other people that care less are smart wtf

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HALL PARTY!!!!

ok I think I see where this movie is going

i'm gonna guess, their gonna have a day to make up for being, stiff, and unloose

yeah that's where it's going

“Who's they?” same

omg the clothes change scene, they are so cute

“THE PANDA” OMFG I LOVE THEM

“i wish, that wouldv'e been a secret, but, you said it anyway”

the parents omg do not deny the mushrooms omg the parents faces

omg the car

“absofruitly” omfg

THE LISCENSE PLATE WHAT TF

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MEEEETH

what, vitamins, the meth was just vitamins

“I BROUGHT YOU TO THE BEST PARTY, MY PARTY”

no one is there, wh, how doe, whe, how could, how tf did he do this

the party girl I love

she was the one on the car earlier

she is high

for sure but I love her what the hell is doing on

oh yeah she admitted, ln drugs

he's wearing a scuba helmet like a daft punk

omg no pls stop

he was so consent talk earlier and now he's nice guy

she lost her virginity in a graveyard and she said her eggs are haunted, I love it

I love her

who is lu an

jump off the boat

oh shit

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit is she ok

pls lovely haunted rich girl be ok pls

“please don't do your lecture voice”

they got the address

i'm calling malala

she only gets one malala a year omfg I love them

the principle is the uber driver omg

i'm smiling so hard and it hurts bc my cheeks and gums aren't healed and I am in such pain, that a good thing

wtf that book idea sucks

so awkward

“neck deep in ryan” “neck deep, in, what direction?”

omg she's never watched porn

omg sharing earbuds while watching porn for educational purposes

omg omg omg omg the aux porn noises

“is that cardi B” OMASL;KDFADHLKAJSH

they got the wrong address again

how did she get here

gigi I love you

I finally learned her name it's gigi, I love gigi

gigi why are you not at nicks party

the strawberries hit by now?

THE STRAWBERRIES WERE LACED?!!?!?!? SWEEEEEET

one time I threw up in my moms hand and she caught it because she loves me

omg omg omg omg barbie scene

they're dolls I love this movie

“where is my chub” I feel the same

what is the real life equivilant of this

they're naked

“uh molly I have no genitals”

omg is there going to be barbie porn, spread eagle

gigi is amazing I love her

gigi you are wrong on this, and I still love you

omg just say you're bi

“i can't like him because he's a jock” same

slaps molly “how dare you say that about my best friend” so relatable

library studying to find the party omg

the pizza delivery that's how they'll find the party

stowaways

omg kidnapper pizza delivery movie now pls?

“that's your private information” I love this pizza delivery guy

“don't trust people oh my god” he's great

she left her phone omg

“why is my battery so low?” “The porn, we streamed a lot of porn.”

who is it

THE TEACHER I LOVE HER

OMG BEST TEACHER EVER EVER EVER FOREVER THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THIS MOVIE NOW

Sentinel if you read this the teacher reminds me of you, she's banned from juice

“lucky for you two, i'm a single woman living in los angeles”

they are so great to eachother

ok they're here but there is still half of the movie left, so, what's gonna happen now

oh I know, romance drama hopefully

crush vision

oh pls no, crush vision has made everyone dissappear pls no, don't

THIS BITCH, GET THE HELL OUT WITH YOUR SINGING IN THE RAIL BE BOP DANCE

it's done

still love the hippie

gigi how the fuck

gigi you are perfect and I love you

the teacher is here? For real? Is, that really what's happening?

Ryan is not who I would have had a crush on but I seriously love her rn

everything is going too well

how tf did he get from the murdermystery to there

probably the same way gigi did

he deepthroated the microphone and that is not ok

the hippie is going to try to seduce the teach

he called her mrs. fine. Also his name is theo

AND I'M HERE, TO REMIND YOU, OF THE MESS YOU MADE WHEN YOU WENT AWAY!

Alan?

I don't think he's 20

uh oh kareoke pls don't

i'm afraid

this is causing me stress

what Is going to come of this

hugs

ok that was a stress fake out

this is going too well for too long what the hell is going on here

oh I know this song

swimming in the pool

um, so ryan is jacked

oh so ryan is either bi or straight but this does not bode well

oh shit doesn't bode well for either of them

she's using malala and you just say no bitch

molly you're being a bitch

omg yelling during a party and now everyone's staring

molly you are kind of a bitch now I like you less

molly was totally in the wrong

I love the cowgirl

omg cowgirl is a bitch too wtf

is everyone a bitch

kiss, which I saw coming but, still, get it

so rich kid is there too

gigi I love you

he wants to do airplanes I love him

ok so virginity loss first time scene

black bra

I forget what movie but there was a scene that they said “no one has a black bra if they don't want someone to see” and i'm like bitch black is my fav colour

WRONG HOLE!!!

OH SHIT, she puked, oh crap oh no oh pls god no, this is awful oh poor amy

oh no oh shit oh no oh crud I wanna cry I feel so bad for her she puked oh goodness I feel so bad for her why

oh that's what the scene earlier about her mom catching her puke meant

they didn't hear the clap?

Gigi I love you, also why do you take airplane kids car if you have your own

gigi's real name is annabelle

“Wait where the fuck do you live” omg

twenty minutes still left, what is happening here

but did the teach bang the kid

omg she rolled her r at a kid

she did bang him

teach what the fuck

gigi is at the piano the talented bitch

i'm gonna bet they'll still be late

THEY MADE IT, broke the fence, BUT THEY MADE IT, also his car is f'ed up

omg why is everyone cheering was everyone at the party?

Maybe cause they just crashed a car through

ok so molly was not gay

this kiss was terrible and they should do a reshoot until they take a not ugly kiss

neat speech

her mom is kissing the jilling bear

oh no

oh pls thank god molly

they were kissing the sex panda oh god

omg omg omg omg

cowgirl you are valid

she has stripped sleeves I love

she has a volvo and that adds like, plus twenty aesthetic

gone forever now

not forever, just a year

harmonizing for the ending song, good choice I guess

oh no, now it's sad

fuck

jumpscare

pancakes

omg I love the ending

the ending wow

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nice shit