#also WHYYY is he hot???

[painacony]

aventurine looks good in anything but while he looks great in his over the top outfits i am so disarmed for aventurine in a simple suit. i can't explain it i think it makes him look extremely handsome

[latinokaeya-moving]

speaking of totk. ik i’m meant to be asleep but i just wanted to say that i luv that rauru is a pretty looking goat man so bad… he has such a gorgeous design. saw him on screen n was immediately like oh i want to jump his bones please.

[gothcsz]

Body Language | Pornstar!Javier Peña x Fem!Reader | Part 2 to this bad boy right here | ~8.2k wc | Series Masterlist | Explicit. Minors DNI.

Summary: Caught in a charged and unexpected moment with Javier Peña, you struggle between resisting his relentless seduction and giving in to the tension that has been building since the last shoot.

Tags: smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, no use of Y/N, reader is shorter than javier but other than that no physical descriptions, some dirty talk, semi-public sex (we're in an elevator this time around), reader really doesn't like javi, steve being steve, other shit i’m probably forgetting.

A/N: this was supposed to be a short lil thing but then my ass had to drag it out just a little because their dynamic is very fun to write 😭 he's like whyyy don't you like me and she's like how much time do you have? lmfao. this is dedicated to @auteurdelabre 🖤 #1 pornstar javi stan, i almost submitted this for your trope off but decided to save that honor for my other story! anyways, i hope you guys enjoy javier begging to eat you out 🥂 let me know what you think 🖤 mandatory mutual tags: @almostempty / @miss-oranje-disco-dancer

You sit in the cramped waiting room outside of Robbie’s office, the stale air clinging to your skin as you shift uncomfortably in the worn-out chair. The place is too quiet, save for the muffled sounds of the city outdoors.

You glance at the clock on the wall, anxiety creeping up your spine. You have a shift at the bar in an hour, and time is slipping through your fingers. The laundry, the groceries, the endless list of errands— it all piled up today, and now you’re cutting it too close.

But you need this check. It’s the only reason you’re here, tapping your foot in impatience. If you don’t get it today, the money won’t hit your account in time to cover rent, and you really don’t want another lecture from your landlord. It’s bad enough you’re already behind— no need to give him more ammunition to chew you out.

You sigh and lean back, eyes closing as you try to drown out the frustration swirling in your head. That’s when you hear the unmistakable ding of the elevator down the hall and turn your head to see who’s joining.

Your stomach drops and you sit up straight. No. Not now. The air feels heavier, thick with that familiar irritation, as the slow, deliberate sound of boots against the tile grows louder. 

Javier Peña.

Just the thought of him sends a hot wave through your being, a mix of irritation and something else you refuse to acknowledge. You don’t want to think about that last shoot, the one where things shifted. Where shit got weird. You behind the camera, filming as always, while he was balls deep in another woman, claiming you were on his mind.

“Bet you’d look just as pretty like this, nena.”

“Did you like what you saw? Like watching the way I fucked her but was thinking of you the whole time?”

It was like he’d stripped you bare with just a few words, leaving you more exposed than them in the midst of their carnal fucking. And the worst part? You’d been affected by it. Skin on fire, pussy wet. It also didn’t help that Steve had heard it too. The mic catching the flirting, the hitch of your breath getting stuck in your throat, clear as day.

He’d asked you about it later at Lucky’s, as promised, all smug and drinking that God-awful beer. But you’d brushed him off, hoping he’d drop it. Thankfully, he had— for the most part— but you could still feel his restlessness, wanting to stir the pot.

Now, Javier is here, of course, because the universe just loves to mess with you. You roll your eyes and cross your arms, leaning back against the chair in defiance. You refuse to look at him. You won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he gets under your skin. 

His footsteps stop just a few feet away, the weight of his presence impossible to ignore. You can feel him looking at you, feel the weight of his brown eyes like a physical thing as they rake over your body.

You keep your gaze glued to the wall, focusing on the ugly, generic painting hanging there like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.

“You gonna act like you don’t see me?” His voice is deep, smooth, and frustratingly cocky, just like always. 

You grit your teeth, biting back a response. You won’t give him an inch. Not again. This motherfucker will take a mile.

“Okay, so that’s what we’re doing.” Before you can react, he plops down beside you. You stiffen immediately, moving your crossed knees to the side, angling yourself away from him, as if the few inches of space will protect you from the onslaught of whatever the hell he’s about to say next.

He spreads his thighs wide, his posture screaming obnoxious confidence. You just barely catch a glimpse of his bulge pressing up against his left thigh and how the fuck does it look so big even when he’s soft? “You know,” he says, voice dripping with that lazy, arrogant drawl, “you’re the only woman that treats me like this, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

You snort, the sound sharp and humorless. You still don’t bother looking at him.

Javier frowns, flitting his tongue across the top row of his teeth. “Is it because I came off too strong the first time we met? ‘Cause if that’s the case; then I’m sorry. Can’t help myself from flirting with pretty little things like you.”

You roll your eyes so hard, it’s a wonder they don’t fall out of their sockets. He doesn’t sound sincere at all.

Thing is, you didn’t mind the flirting. Even if he, like he’s so romantically put it, does flirt with pretty little things all the time; it did make you feel like just that. Pretty. It’s what came after that soured your Javier Peña experience.

He huffs, like a petulant child, frustrated by your silence. You don’t give him the satisfaction of even a glance. Instead, you shift in your seat, your mind racing, wondering what the hell is taking Robbie so damn long. He never works, barely lifts a finger unless there’s money or something else in it for him, and now, suddenly, he’s busy? Yeah, right. He’s probably in his office jerking it to one of his films, getting off on his own work. Typical.

You’re done waiting. With a sharp movement, you stand, startling Javier, though you still don’t give him the time of day. He’s used to women catering to his every whim, hanging on his every word. You aren’t going to be one of them. Not even if he did manage to get you all hot and bothered.

You stalk over to the door and knock harder than necessary. “I’m busy,” his voice grumbles through the wooden surface, and you resist the urge to scream.

“And I need my check. Just slide it under the door or something,” you snap, the urgency in your voice making it clear that you’re not in the mood to get fucked around with.

There’s a pause, followed by the sound of shuffling papers before the door cracks open just enough for Robbie to stick his hand out, an envelope clutched between his fingers. He practically shoves it into your hand before slamming the door shut again.

You stand there for a moment, staring at the envelope with your name scrawled across the front. Surrounded by imbeciles. Just one shift to get through tonight, and then maybe, just maybe, you can get some peace. Enjoy the first weekend off you’ve had in months.

Now that you have what you came for, you spin on your heel and stride down the hallway, ignoring the handsome pornstar still lounging in the chair behind you. From your peripheral, you can see him sitting there, skinny jean clad legs spread, looking all annoyingly sexy without even trying. It would be so much easier if he were ugly— or literally anyone else. But no, it’s Javier fucking Peña, with his ridiculous good looks and that cocky smirk that could probably charm the panties off half the city if he wanted to (it probably has, to be honest).

You mentally map out the next hour: hit the bank, dash home to change, then off to work. You could walk to the bank, maybe catch a taxi home if you’re lucky. But with traffic in this city, luck isn’t really on your side. You start considering your options— do you skip changing and just head to work as you are? Would your other boss even care if you showed up a little underdressed? You’re so lost in your thoughts, focused on cutting corners to save time, that you don’t hear the quiet footsteps behind you.

It’s not until the elevator dings and you step inside that you realize you’re not alone. Javier’s slipped in just before the doors close, sliding smoothly into the cramped space beside you. The sudden proximity makes your heart do this stupid little jump, and you curse yourself for it. You’re trapped now— stuck way too close to him in the tiny metal box.

The air feels charged, his presence impossible to ignore yet again. The smell of his aftershave hits you first— spicy, with a hint of something woodsy, layered under the scent of his leather jacket and the faint, lingering whiff of cigarette smoke. He tries to drown it out with minty gum, but it’s still there, clinging to him like an old habit. And damn it, your knees go a little weak, despite your best efforts to stay cool.

The height difference between you is glaringly obvious now. You’re eye level with the habitually open portion of his cream colored shirt, the buttons undone just enough to give a peek at his brown chest. It’s frustrating how effortlessly he pulls off the whole rugged look— like he doesn’t even try, but somehow manages to look better than most men who spend hours on it.

You swallow hard, trying to focus on anything but the fact that you can smell him, that you can feel the heat radiating off his body in the tight space. He’s just too close, and the damn elevator isn’t moving fast enough. You’ve got a million things to worry about right now—rent, work, your life— and the last thing you need is to be distracted by him.

But, like always, he’s right there, invading your space, making it impossible to think of anything else.

“What the fuck do you want?” You snap, breaking your vow of silence. You frown up at him, irritation bubbling just beneath the surface as you cross your arms defensively over your chest— a bad move, you realize too late, as the motion only pushes your braless tits together beneath the thin fabric of your tank top.

Predictably, his eyes drop immediately. You curse yourself for not wearing something more substantial. It’s not like I was planning to run into him today, you think to yourself.

“To understand why you hate me so much,” Javier says, his voice low, carrying that annoyingly casual tone, as if this whole conversation is nothing more than a mild inconvenience to him.

Your brows knit together, and a dry laugh slips from your lips before you can stop it. “Well, for starters,” you bite out, “you can’t even look me in the eyes when you ask.” 

His gaze snaps up so fast it’s almost comical, his dark eyes locking with yours, defiance flaring there. But there’s something else too— something that makes the air between you even more tense. You hold his stare, daring him to say something, to make this worse for himself. His expression tightens, but you continue before he has a chance to speak. “And I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you. You annoy the shit out of me.” 

He flinches, just barely, but you catch it. The smallest chink in his armor. You reach around him, your hand brushing against his side as you press the button for the main floor. The contact sends a ripple of awareness through you that you try to ignore. You don’t have time for this— for him.

Javier scowls, his mouth pulling into a frown that mirrors yours, and before you can react, he half-turns and punches a button for a different floor, effectively canceling your request. The elevator jolts, shifting direction. 

You groan audibly, exasperation washing over you. “And here you are, proving my point,” you mutter under your breath. Every second you waste in this shitty elevator with him is another second closer to being late for work. Another second closer to not getting everything done that you needed to today. He’s not just in your way—he’s deliberately in your way, and the worst part is, he knows it.

“You don’t like me,” he counters, turning back to face you fully, his tone edging into frustration, “but you never even gave me a chance.” His jaw is set now, his eyes searching yours as if he’s waiting for you to crack, to admit that there’s more to it than just annoyance. Like he wants you to say it’s something else, something deeper.

If you had the luxury of time, you’d lay it all out for him, explain in excruciating detail just why you’ve avoided giving him that chance. How his arrogance grates on you. How his charm, though admittedly effective, feels hollow. How the way he flirts isn’t even the problem—it’s the way he looks at you, like he knows something about you that you don’t want to admit.

But you don’t have that kind of time.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath in a vain attempt to steady your nerves. “As fun as it’d be to stand here and explain this shit to you like a child,” you say, your voice tight, “I have important things to do, and you’re keeping me from them.” You jab the elevator button again, hoping the damn thing will just go where you need it to without another unnecessary detour, but you already know it’s a losing battle. 

Javier shifts closer, just slightly, his presence looming. You can smell that damn aftershave again, all spice and leather and smoke, and it only pisses you off more because your body reacts to it before your brain can stop it. You feel your resolve slipping, just a little. His eyes are on you, unwavering, intense in a way that makes you want to both slap him and pull him closer at the same time.

“I’m not trying to keep you from anything,” he replies, softer now, the edge in his voice gone. His tone is almost... apologetic? No. It can’t be. Javier Peña doesn’t apologize. At least not in any way that feels real.

You don’t even bother responding, just stare at the numbers above the door, willing them to move faster. The sooner you’re out of here, the better.

“Just—fuck, give me something. Anything,” he growls, frustrated as all hell. His eyes are wild, and you can see the cracks in his usual suave demeanor, like he’s barely holding it together. “Ever since that last shoot, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, and I don’t know why. You think you’re exasperated? How the fuck do you think I’m feeling over here?”

You raise a brow, leaning into your disdain as you pout at him mockingly. “Oh, boohoo. Cry me a river. A girl doesn’t like me back, wahh.” You mimic the sound of a crying baby, bringing your fists up to rub against your cheeks in the most exaggerated way possible. Then you drop the act, face deadpanning. 

His eyes narrow, and you think you’ve finally hit a nerve. Good. Let him stew in it. But instead of backing down, he does something you don’t expect— he turns, reaches out, and slams his palm against the emergency stop button. The elevator lurches to a sudden halt, the hum of motion disappearing as the car freezes between floors.

Your eyes widen, a sharp spike of adrenaline shooting through you as the reality of the situation sets in. “What the hell, Javier?” You’re about to cuss him out, to let him know exactly what kind of shit he’s just gotten himself into, but before the words can leave your mouth, he takes two long, purposeful steps toward you.

Instinctively, you move back, the sudden intensity in his eyes sending warning signals through your brain. But there’s nowhere to go. You can’t escape the tight confines of the elevator, your back is pressed up against the cold metal railing. You swallow hard, your heart hammering against your ribs as his broad body looms over yours, trapping you in a way that leaves you feeling both furious and breathless.

He’s too close. His chest brushes against yours, and you can feel his gaze as it drags over your face, down your neck, and lower still, lingering in a way that makes your skin prickle.

Any insult you were ready to hurl at him gets stuck in your throat. You hate how your pulse quickens, how your breath catches. You can feel every inch of him— solid muscle, tense with whatever storm is brewing behind those dark eyes. 

For a brief, dizzying moment, you forget to be mad. You forget that you’re supposed to dislike him, that he’s the last person you should let get under your skin like this but somehow is the only one who’s able to. All you can focus on is the way his breath fans across your cheek, the way the small space between you crackles with tension, like a wire pulled too tight.

“You think this is some kind of joke?” he murmurs, his voice low and rough, making your pussy tingle in ways you wish it didn’t. “You think it’s easy for me to just... shrug it off? Because it’s not. Not when I keep thinking about you, and I don’t even fucking understand why.”

There’s something raw in his voice, something that catches you off guard, making you pause to wonder if this really isn’t a game to him.

But you can’t let him see that. You can’t let him know how much he’s getting to you (even though he’s more than aware). So instead, you tilt your chin up defiantly, forcing your voice to stay steady. “And stopping the elevator? Trapping me in here with you? That’s your brilliant solution?”

“No,” he breathes, voice dropping to a near whisper as his face inches closer to yours. “But it’s the only way I could get you to stop running from me.” 

You hate how your stomach flips at his words. Hate how much you’re fighting against the instinct to lean into him instead of shoving him away. Every part of your body is screaming at you to tell him to fuck off and leave you the hell alone.

“Do you know what I think it is?” The words come out in a low, dangerous drawl, the kind that seems to wrap around your throat and squeeze. He leans in, crowding your space, eyes boring into you with an intensity that has your pulse skyrocketing. “I think you’re too fucking stubborn to let yourself have any fun. The idea of me fucking you is enticing, isn’t it?” His lips curl into a smirk, the kind that drips with arrogance and dark promises. “Could see it written all over your face that night at the hotel. That look in your eye while I was fucking Lexxie.”

His accusations slam into you, pulling up the exact moment you’ve been trying to bury. It should have been a professional gig, routine even, nothing personal… except that wasn’t the case. Not with the way he looked at you the entire time, his eyes locked on yours, daring you to react.

And, fuck, you had reacted. You felt the heat rise in your face, the way your body betrayed you as you stood behind the camera, mouth salivating, thighs pressing together.

“Javier…” You push at his chest, your hand meeting the hard wall of muscle beneath his shirt. The intent is to shove him back, to create some space between you. But the second your palm makes contact, it’s like the air shifts, and instead of moving him, it’s like you’ve anchored yourself to him.

Goddamn him. Goddamn you for your spineless ass, for not being able to follow through on resisting the temptation that he is.

He smirks wider, clearly reading the war going on behind your eyes. “You were shaking,” he continues, his voice a dark whisper that coils around your insides. “Damn near moaning while you watched me go down on her. Rubbing those thighs together while this pretty ass was in my face as she was sucking my cock.” 

His large hand snakes around you, catching you off guard, fingers gripping a handful of your ass and pulling you closer. Your body collides with his, and that’s when you feel it— his erection, hard and insistent, pressing into your stomach. The heat between you flares up to unbearable levels, and you can’t help the small gasp that escapes your lips. His touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, every nerve ending in your body on high alert, buzzing with want.

“You’re delusional,” it’s breathless but you’re still determined to keep some semblance of control. You squirm in his grip, your body betraying your words, the friction making your mind tilt. “You just can’t stand the fact that, for once, a woman isn’t throwing herself at you. That I’m not kissing the ground you walk on or falling to my knees, ready to suck you off.”

His hold tightens briefly, pulling you even closer, and for a second, you wonder if you’ll be able to break free at all. It’s damn near impossible to ignore the ache building between your thighs at this point. But somehow, you manage to slip out of his grip, your body twisting away from his until you’ve backed yourself into the far corner of the elevator. 

You can’t breathe. Not properly, anyway. You’ve never felt so on edge, so exposed in such a small space. Every fiber of your being screams at you to keep your distance, to reassert control of the situation, but there’s a part of you— dangerous and impulsive— that wants to step right back into his arms.

Javier doesn’t move, but his eyes stay glued to you, watching your every movement like a predator stalking its prey. The elevator is still locked in place, a silent reminder that you’re trapped here with him until one of you decides to relent. His jaw clenches, and you think he’s going to say something cutting, something to tear you down. But instead, he surprises you.

“You’re right.” His voice is rough, but it carries a weight that’s different from the cocky arrogance he usually hides behind. “I can’t stand it.”

His words hang in the air between you, heavier than you expected. There’s no smirk this time, no sarcastic bite. Just honesty, and it’s a fucking curveball.

You weren’t prepared for him to actually admit it. For once, he’s not trying to fuck with you, not trying to win.

And somehow, that makes it worse.

You swallow hard, the weight of his confession making your heart leap out of your chest.

You don’t know what to say, so instead, you just stand there, staring at him, your body buzzing with a cocktail of adrenaline, lust, and confusion. Because as much as you want to dislike him, as much as you need to dislike him for your own sanity, you can’t deny the way your pussy responds to him. The way your mind keeps pulling you back to that night, to the way he made you feel without even touching you.

“Get over it,” you snap, cutting him off before he can sink any deeper into this conversation. You don’t need to entertain this further. It can’t happen, and it will never happen. The second you fall into bed with him, it’ll be game over. Javier Peña isn’t just a casual fuck— you know deep down he’d be the kind that wraps himself around your soul and doesn’t let go until he’s consumed every inch of you. 

The problem is, you’re terrified that you’ll let him. It’s why you’re so dead set on not giving in.

You cross your arms over your chest again, as if trying to shield yourself from the strength in his eyes, the way he seems to reach into your very core with just a look.

You try to focus on anything else— on the fact that you still need to get to the bank, then to your apartment, and finally to your bar shift. You don’t have time for this shit, for the endless back-and-forth with him.

But then he says your name.

The sound of it on his lips makes you close your eyes, every muscle in your body tensing. Damn him. It sounds so fucking sweet, almost reverent, and you know if you make the mistake of looking at him right now— if you see those beautiful, pleading brown eyes— you’ll fold.

He says your name again, softer this time, and the way his voice wraps around each syllable has your resolve teetering on the edge of collapse. “Please, just let me show you how good I can make you feel,” he murmurs, stepping closer, his breath fanning across your cheek. “Just one taste, nena, por favor.” 

And for the first time since you met Javier— he’s begging. You never imagined that he, of all people, would beg for anything. But here he is, his voice low and thick with desire, pleading with you to give him just one chance.

You blink your eyes open slowly, trying to process the whirlwind of emotions that have been ignited by his words. The synapses in your brain light up like fucking fireworks, each one triggering a new thought, a new possibility. There’s a moment— a split second— where you picture it.

You imagine his hands on your body, his lips trailing fire down your skin, his mouth between your legs. The image flashes so vividly, so intensely in your mind, that it steals the breath from your lungs. 

You can practically feel the way he’d elicit things you’ve been trying to suppress. Your legs go weak just thinking about it, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself, to remember who you are, what this is. 

But your cavewoman, horny brain betrays you— racing ahead, picturing every possible outcome. You can’t help but wonder how good it would feel to let him in, just once. How it would be to let him take control, to let him show you, like he’s promising, just how good he can make you feel. 

You’re already late getting to the bank. You should be focusing on that, on getting out of this damn elevator and away from him, but your body won’t cooperate. Every part of you is ablaze, screaming at you to just give in.

Javier’s standing there, staring at you with those chocolate eyes, his dark brows drawn together, pouty lips parted just slightly as he waits for you to say something. Anything. He’s laid it all out in front of you, leaving you to make the next move. And fuck, as much as you hate to admit it, you want to. You want to let him pull you into his world, even though you know it’ll consume you. You want to feel his hands on your skin, his mouth everywhere, his name slipping from your lips.

But you can’t. 

If you give in now, you’ll never be able to walk away from him, and you can’t afford to let yourself get tangled up in Javier Peña. He’s chaos wrapped in temptation, and once you let him in, there’s no turning back.

You swallow hard, your throat tight as you try to hold on to the last shred of control you have. “Javier,” you whisper, barely able to get the words out. You feel like you’re on the edge of a cliff, teetering between desire and self-preservation. The weight of his gaze presses down on you, and for a moment, you think you might just jump.

But then, with every ounce of willpower you have left, you take a shaky breath, shaking your head and breaking the spell he’s woven around you.

“No,” you say, the word barely above a whisper, but firm enough to anchor you back to reality.

His face falls, the fire in his eyes dimming just a little. You almost regret it, almost, but then you remember who he is. What he does. And you know you made the right choice, even if every part of you is berating otherwise.

You stand there, locked in a silent standoff, both of you doing a piss poor job of pretending like you don’t want to tear each other’s clothes off right here in the elevator. 

You’re hoping—no, praying— that he’ll finally let it go. That he’ll stop pushing, stop testing your resolve, and just leave you alone. You’re begging for him to go back to what he does best, to leave you to your job— both of them.

You break eye contact first, glancing down at your watch. You’re definitely not going to make it to your shift on time. Shit. You need to phone your boss and give him a heads up before this gets even worse. But right now, you can’t seem to focus, not with Javier standing there like a Roman statue, immovable and perfect, watching you with that infuriating intensity.

“Now, if you can get the elevator to take us down, I’d really appreciate it,” you say, but the words come out softer than you intended. You hate how small your voice sounds, like you’ve already lost the upper hand, and you mentally slap yourself for it. 

But he doesn’t budge. He just stands there, watching you like you’re the most fascinating thing in the world, and it makes you want to scream. His gaze is piercing, boring holes into your entire existence, and it’s taking everything you have not to crumble beneath it.

“Do you really mean that?” He asks as he brings a hand up to smooth down his mustache. There’s a hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips, like he already knows the answer. “Because everything about your body language is screaming otherwise.” 

When the fuck did he get so close again? He’s right there, towering over you, and suddenly the air between you feels impossibly thin.

“It’s my fuckin’ job to read a woman’s body,” he continues, his voice growing huskier with each word. “And you know what yours is telling me right now?”

Your pulse quickens, your heart slamming against your ribcage, and you can’t find the words to respond. You don’t trust yourself to speak— not when his presence is drowning you in your own body. 

He leans in, lips so close to your ear that his breath almost has you fainting. “It’s telling me that you want it.”

Your stomach flips, every nerve ending in your body coming alive as his curved nose barely grazes your skin. The touch is featherlight, but it sends electricity straight to your cunt. You grip the railing behind you like a lifeline, your knuckles flushed as goosebumps ripple across your skin. 

Javier’s smirk deepens, the asshole clearly enjoying the effect he’s having on you. “Stop fighting it, pretty girl,” he murmurs, his voice like velvet, his hand sliding down the length of your figure in a way that feels too natural, too right. “Let me show you how good I can make you feel…”

You should stop him. You should. But you don’t. You can’t. His hands are on you now, moving with a confidence that’s impossible to resist. One large hand finds its way to your tit, groping it gently through the thin fabric of your tank top, and you gasp, the sound escaping your lips before you can stop it. Your body fails you, head falling back against the elevator wall, your chest arching into his touch. 

The way his hand moves, so sure, so practiced, has your resistance crumbling, piece by piece. 

“That’s it,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your neck, peppering soft, teasing kisses along your sensitive skin. “Barely done a thing and you’re already gone.” 

Your mind is spinning, your resolve completely undone as you melt under his touch. Every kiss, every graze of his lips against your neck feels like it’s unraveling the last bit of control you have. His body is pressed up against yours, and you can feel his erection through his jeans again, the hard (pun intended) evidence of just how much he wants you.

God help you, it feels too good to resist.

You sigh, a low, breathy sound that’s equal parts surrender and relief. His lips trail lower, his hand still groping your breast, and you let him. You let him because you’ve been fighting this for too long, and right now, you just want to feel something. 

Javier grins against your neck, his breath hot on your skin as he pulls you even closer, his voice hoarse in your ear. “Told you,” he says, his tone dripping with satisfaction. “I knew you wanted this.”

You don’t respond. There’s nothing left to say. You’ve given in, you’ll figure out how to pick up the pieces later, but right now? Right now, you’re letting yourself fall apart.

It’s like your whole body just deflates against his, sinking into the solid warmth of him as if all the fight has finally drained out of you. You’re giving him the green light, and he knows it. The grunt that escapes his throat is guttural, and you feel the weight of his palm pressing harder against your chest, his thumb and pointer finger expertly pinching your now hardened nipple through the fabric of your tank top.

“After this,” he murmurs, voice rough with restraint, “if you don’t want me anymore, I’ll leave you alone.” His words are punctuated by a sharp tug at your nipple that sends a surge of arousal straight between your legs. Then his hand moves, sliding up to cradle your jaw with a surprising gentleness. He tilts your head so that your eyes meet his, forcing you to look at him— forcing you to really see him. “You have my word.”

You search his eyes, not entirely sure what you’re looking for— honesty, maybe? A hint of something real beyond the heat of the moment? Whatever it is, you can’t find the words to respond, so you just nod weakly, your breath bated. 

Javier smiles at that, a slow, predatory grin, and he leans in as if to kiss you. But you stop him, your hand pressing against his sternum with just enough force to halt him in his tracks.

“No kissing,” you say, your voice more resolute than you feel. “You said one taste, so get to it.” You’re setting boundaries, trying to keep some semblance of control in this situation. No kissing, no fucking— just head. That’s all this will be. He’ll get a taste of you, and you’ll finally get a taste of what all the hype is about. Then it’ll be over, and you’ll go your separate ways. That’s the deal.

His frown deepens, a flicker of disappointment crossing his features, like he’s not used to anyone telling him no in any capacity. But it’s brief, because he’s not about to take the proverbial bone you’ve thrown him for granted. He agrees in his own way, pivoting without protest, his mouth returning to your neck like he’s already forgotten the attempt to kiss you.

Now that the rules are clear, you allow yourself to let your guard down— just a little. It’s not like your sex life has been riveting lately, and truth be told, you can’t even remember the last time a partner went down on you willingly. At least you’re getting something out of this fucked-up little arrangement, and for now, that’s enough. 

He kisses and licks a line down your throat, his stubble scraping deliciously against the sensitive flesh. You sigh, your breath hitching as you feel his hands roaming your body with a confidence that should piss you off but doesn’t. 

His rough palms map out your curves like he’s trying to commit every inch of you to memory. He’s groping, squeezing, learning you in a way that makes you feel like you’re his personal discovery. 

The warmth of his breath, the skill in his movements— it’s intoxicating. You can’t help but respond, your hips shifting, your body bending instinctively toward him when one hand slides up under your shirt, fingertips brushing the underside of your breast.

He’s good at this, you’ll give him that. Too damn good. It’s almost like he’s a fucking pornstar.

You hate that you’re enjoying it so much, hate that you’re already melting under his touch like some lovesick fool.

“Don’t overthink it,” he murmurs against your skin, feeling the nerves radiating off of you. 

His touch lingers as he reaches the button on your denim shorts, undoing it with a flick of his fingers before pulling down the zipper, slow and deliberate.

“You and these damn shorts…” you hear him say, more to himself than to you. His voice is gruff, frustrated, like he’s been waging a silent battle against his own restraint. He hooks his fingers into the waistband and tugs them down over your hips, watching as the fabric slides off your skin. You step out of them, standing there in nothing but your underwear, top and sneakers, exposed in ways you hadn’t intended to be when you walked into that office earlier today.

His brows shoot up, and you feel the heat rush to your cheeks. Of course, it’s laundry day. Of course, you’re left wearing your least practical pair of underwear— this skimpy, lacy purple number you hardly ever break out. The delicate string disappears between the cheeks of your ass, and the sheer front does little to conceal the soft tuft of hair just below your navel. 

And he’s drinking it all in.

“Fuckin’ hell, nena,” he breathes, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and lust. His eyes flick back up to yours, dark and hungry. “You always walkin’ around like this?” His hands grip your hips, and before you can even formulate a response, he’s sinking to his knees in front of you, taking his sweet ass time, like this is some kind of worship.

“No, I—” Your voice is breathy, your heartbeat pounding in your ears. “I had to do laundry today…” It’s all you can manage, barely coherent as his lips begin pressing soft, teasing kisses to the inside of your knee.

He throws one of your legs over his shoulder, steadying you, his fingers gripping your thigh with enough pressure to leave you keening. You brace yourself against the elevator railing, your body tense with anticipation, your mind a chaotic swirl of logic and lust. You barely notice as the check you came here for flutters to the floor beside you, forgotten.

Don’t forget to deposit that, the reasonable part of your brain chimes in, but you tell that bitch to shut up because Javier Peña is currently on his knees in font of you, about to take you on the ride of your fucking life, and you’re nowhere near strapped in.

His head is tilted up, lips brushing dangerously close to where you want him most, and all rational thought is slipping through your fingers like sand.

He looks up at you then, his dark eyes glinting with something wicked, and your breath catches again. You don’t know how to feel about any of this anymore. There’s a line you swore you wouldn’t cross, but now that he’s right there, so close to giving you what you’ve craved for longer than you care to admit, it’s hard to remember why you drew that line in the first place.

Javier’s lips graze the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and a quiet moan escapes your lips before you can stop it. He smirks against your skin, his fingers tracing a slow path up your leg, sending shivers coursing through you. “Relax, bonita,” he murmurs, voice thick with desire. “I’ll take care of you.”

You want to tell him to hurry up, to stop teasing, but all that comes out is a shaky exhale as his hands part your thighs wider, positioning you exactly how he wants you. His grip is firm, possessive, and for a moment, you wonder if you’ll survive whatever it is he’s about to do to you.

You don’t even have time to dwell on the thought before his mouth is on you, lips pressing a lingering kiss over the thin fabric of your panties. The sudden pressure sends a shockwave through your body, and your eyes fall closed, surrendering to the moment. His tongue teases the fabric, nudging against your already soaked cunt, and you can feel the wetness seeping through the lace. He hums low in his throat, savoring the first taste of you.

“These are so pretty. Don’t think I’ll take ’em off.”

He hooks his fingers into the delicate fabric and pulls it aside, exposing you to him completely. The cool air hits your slick folds, a contrast to the heat of his breath as he hovers just inches away. He’s staring, taking you in, and when he curses under his breath, it’s like he’s caught off guard by how badly he wants this. Wants you.

“Fuck,” he mutters, as he drags his nose up and down the length of your wet slit. The touch is maddeningly light, just enough to make you clench involuntarily, your body reacting without permission. More of your slick leaks out of your pussy, a response to the subtle stimulation, and you grip the elevator railing tighter to keep yourself from falling with how weak your knees get.

Javier flattens his tongue, delivering a slow, deliberate lick from your entrance to your clit, and it’s like your entire body ignites at once. You throw your head back, a ragged cry of his name ripping from your throat as your hips buck instinctively, searching for more of him, more of that friction that feels like pure electricity.

He’s not done, though. Not even close. One hand snakes around your thighs, strong and sure. His middle and pointer fingers spread you open, forming an upside-down V, and then he does something so filthy, so perfectly Javier— he spits directly onto your exposed pussy.

The sound alone could get you off, but the sensation is something else entirely. His saliva mixes with your slick, making everything wetter, hotter, and you feel like you’re unraveling before he’s even truly begun. A series of high-pitched moans spill from your lips as he latches his mouth onto your cunt, sucking and licking with a precision that has your entire being quaking.

Lips, tongue, teeth—he’s using everything he has, dragging you deeper into a haze of pleasure where nothing exists but the heat coiling in your belly, tightening with every flick. He’s devouring you, utterly relentless, and it’s too much but not enough, all at once. Every nerve ending is on fire, your thighs trembling as you fight to keep your balance. His grip on your leg tightens, keeping you locked in place, helpless to do anything but take what he’s giving.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, pulling back for just a moment, leaning his cheek against your inner thigh. His face is glistening, covered in your arousal, but his eyes are dark and hungry, never straying from your face. “With noises like that and a pussy this pretty— you’d be a fucking sight on camera.”

His words send another jolt through you, dirty and wrong and so fucking hot that you nearly forget how to breathe. He nips at the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, leaving faint marks in his wake, before diving back in with that skilled tongue of his. He’s a man with something to prove, alternating between broad strokes and tight circles, zeroing in on your fleshy clit with a precision that makes your head spin.

It’s obscene, the way he’s working you over, all these years spent perfecting this art, but there’s a rawness to it too, a desperation like he can’t get enough of you. You’re soaked, dripping onto his face, and he laps it up like a man starved, the sounds of his mouth slurping against your wetness filling the small space around you. Your moans are louder now, more desperate, each one pushing you closer to that edge where you’re not sure if you’ll survive the fall.

His fingers tighten on your thigh again, and then he’s dragging them lower, inching toward your entrance as his tongue flicks mercilessly against your clit. When he slips two fingers inside you, curling them just right, you nearly scream. The combination of his mouth and his fingers is enough to send you spiraling, your legs trembling uncontrollably as you arch into him.

“So fuckin’ tight,” he grunts when he pulls away to get a good look at your beautiful face and how you look when he’s making you feel like you’re on top of the world. It’s enough to get him to latch onto your clit, sucking on it harshly.

“God, Javier,” you gasp, your voice shaky, barely coherent. You can’t think, can’t form any rational thought, not with the way he’s pulling you apart, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but the pleasure.

“Let go,” he growls against you, the vibrations of his voice sending shockwaves through your core. “I’ve got you, nena. Just let go.” 

And with that, the dam breaks. You’re coming hard, hips jerking wildly as waves of pleasure crash over you, your entire body shaking with the force of it. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up for a second, working you through it with that relentless mouth until you’re gasping for air, hands clenching at the railing so hard you’re surprised it hasn’t snapped. 

Your vision blurs, your mind goes blank, and all you can do is hold on as Javier takes you on the ride of your life, just like you knew he would.

You don’t know how long it takes you to come back into your body after letting him take the reins for a little. You’re trembling, legs weak and body heavy against the cool metal wall of the elevator. He’s still on his knees, knuckle-deep inside you, lazily curling them as if savoring every last second.

His mouth trails soft, teasing kisses across your soaked panties, and the tenderness of the act startles you, nearly pulling you under again. But then he withdraws his fingers, slipping them into his mouth with an almost obscene groan, tasting you one last time as if to commit your flavor to memory. He carefully adjusts your underwear back into place.

Javier stands to his full height, your leg falling from his shoulder, towering over you. His hand comes to rest lightly on your waist as if to steady you. “You okay?”

You nod, though your bones feel like jelly. Your eyes stay closed as you try to gather yourself, forcing yourself back into reality, back into the woman who doesn’t fold like a house of cards for her co-worker. You bend down to retrieve your shorts and check from the floor, fingers fumbling with the zipper as you button yourself back up. He presses the button to resume the elevator, the gears shifting as you’re slowly carried back to the main floor. 

And just like that, it hits you. It happened. You’ve came on Javier’s tongue and fingers. You swore it wouldn’t— swore up and down that he was nothing more than a nuisance at work, a distraction you wouldn’t let get to you. But here you are, post-orgasm, in a goddamn public elevator, of all places, with the man who was supposed to be just a headache.

“Hope you got your fix because it’s never happening again,” you mutter, trying to summon the biting edge to your words, almost like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as him.

Javier just smirks, that infuriating glint back in his eyes like he already knows better, but he doesn’t push it. Not now.

The elevator doors slide open with a sharp ding, and the scene before you is worse than any nightmare you could’ve concocted in the heat of the moment. Two firefighters, the building manager, and— of course because why the hell not— Steve Murphy are standing there with varying degrees of shock and amusement.

You can see the moment Steve takes it all in— your flushed cheeks, the slightly mussed state of your clothes, Javier standing just a bit too close to you. His blue eyes narrow, then widen, and then he breaks into a shit-eating grin so wide you could slap it right off his face.

“Well, well, well,” Steve drawls, barely containing his laughter. “What do we have here?”

Your stomach sinks. Not again. 

Javier, ever the cocky bastard, simply raises an eyebrow and slides his hands into his pockets, all cool nonchalance like he hasn’t just been between your thighs minutes earlier. “Just crapped out on us randomly,” he says smoothly, and you want to strangle him for the audacity.

Steve chuckles, shaking his head as if he’s in on some big joke that only you and Javier are the punchline for. And as you step past him, cheeks burning, all you can think is that this will never, ever happen again.

But even as you repeat it to yourself, a small part of you— the part still buzzing from the memory of Javier’s mouth— wonders if you’re lying.

[crypticminx]

nate w reader that has baby fever

Hi anon, this was fun lovey xx

Baby Fever with Nate Jacobs

Slight breeding kink mentioned but not rlly, ditzy reader, Nate being reasonable??

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა

“Nate”

“No.”

“But Nate—“

“Y/n, please.”

You stare at your now provoked boyfriend, who is frustratingly trying to get through his school work. He’s sat at his desk, his books messily sprawled across the surface of the smooth wood, textbook open and notebook filled with neat handwriting as he burns through each question. By this point, his mind is eagerly fighting to stay focused, but as long as you’re there in his bed beside him, he knows he won’t finish.

“Nate!” You yell again, this time biting your tongue from laughter as you can see his face grow red with tension.

“Y/n, I said no,” he runs his fingers through his hair, feeling like he can’t keep up with neither you or his homework. Defeat wasn’t an easy solution for him.

“But whyyy,” you whine as you turn off your phone and lay on your chest, your legs happily kicking away. Dressed in nothing but Nate’s oversized sweater and some knee high socks, he would be an absolute liar if he didn’t find you so desirably hot in this very moment.

But he also found the strength to maintain his composure with what little self respect he had for himself.

“Because we’re too young to have a fucking baby,” he sighs, stopping himself from raising his voice at you without the further intent of making you feel like you’ve done something wrong.

It doesn’t phase you though.

You roll your eyes, exaggerating the size of them as you huff in annoyance of your boyfriend being extremely noncompliant with your needy request.

In all fairness, it wasn’t your fault.

You were cute. Nate was really fucking cute. Thus, the rash realization that the two of you would definitely make cute babies.

“Okay so not now…,” you speak to him as if you’re trying to trick him. The way your voice trails with giddiness sets him to believe that whatever you’re conspiring isn’t going to be reasonable or ideally realistic.

He stares at you with a blank expression, his eyes don’t flash their usual sparkle and he seems rather unimpressed by how good you are at making him feel irked.

“Sooooo what about tomorrow?”

He slams his textbook down, the noise is loud and almost thunderous as you slightly jolt. Your smile fades as you can see he might actually be upset, but it didn’t make sense.

When the two of you got down to business, he praised you. He acted like he worshiped the very ground you walked on and treated you like a princess. He’d whisper things to you—very private, sentimental statements that made your heart flutter with an overwhelming sense of pride.

And now he was mad at you?

You cross your arms, trying not to let out all the steam burried inside your frustrations as he was quick to apologize.

“Babe, I’m sorry,” he groaned, rubbing his forehead as he took a seat next to you. He ran his fingers down your bare thigh, the smooth motion of his hands were enough to make you feel relaxed again, but he wasn’t off the hook.

“If you’re so sorry, why can’t you give me a baby…” you pout, tossing him a big frown that almost made him feel sorry for you.

He doesn’t know how to explain it, it seems you’re too cooped up in your own little fantasy world where having baby isn’t unrealistic and wouldn’t be a huge deal.

“Y/n,” he carefully plays with your hair, pushing a loose strand behind your ear to see the full extent of your face on display, however, you didn’t seem happy. “We’re in high school, how are we going to juggle having a baby?”

“Ugh,” you push him away, playfully of course, “don’t give me that talk, Nate.”

He shrugs his shoulders, letting his mind trail to the possibilities of getting you pregnant. and in all honesty, it didn’t seem too bad. He always wanted a child, but the timing and the moment just didn’t match up with that idea.

It would cause havoc, with both your family and his. He had no doubt about that as he could hear his fathers aggravating voice shout in his head, telling him how much of an awful father he would turn out to be. That alone was offputting.

“Don’t you wanna cum in me?”

And there you were, edging him with that soft voice of yours that knew how to get him riled up with heat. You bat your eyelashes, titling your head with a devious grin.

“Fill me up with your baby? I know you want to….Nate.” The words roll off your toungue as he fails to keep himself from melting away. He wants nothing more than to make you his—but would he ruin his life just to give you something that you want?

That would be something the two of you would find out—in a few months time.

[sterredem]

Obsessed

Oscar Piastri x singer!reader

Face claim Olivia Rodrigo

Warning stalking (online), not proofread, Speling mistakes

Summary y/n is obsessed with her boyfriend’s ex.

A/n We are just gonna say that Lilly’s account is public… so that everything makes sense.

Also this may be more of a Lilly x reader the an Oscar one… it’s also a bit short… and this is probably the only fic you’ll get in a bit

Instagram

120.124 likes

F1.Gossip BREAKING NEWS: Our favourite young couple, Oscar Piastri and Lilly Zneimer has reportedly broken up! After their 4 years and a bit realation the couple found out that they where better of as friends then being together. Many hard are broken after hearing this news, but they claim that they are still friends. We wish them both the best with their careers, and we with them the best in future relationships.

View all 2.234 comments

User1 NOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭

User2 I don’t believe in love anymore😭😭

User3 WHYYY?!?!💔

User4 Hearts ♥️ been. Broken 💔 Too. Many. Times ⏳😭😭

User5 MY FAVROUTE COUPLE😭😭😢

User6 Why am I so upset at a couple that I don’t even know😭😭

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Twitter

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Time skip

Twitter

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Real life

Y/n knew she was crazy. It was actually sociopathic what she was doing. She was stalking her boyfriend’s ex girlfriend.

And not stalking stalking. She was not following her in real life… just on social media.

She was just going through the girls instagram photos, looking up everything about her, wanting to know everything that there is about the girl.

Beside that she was also looking at old Twitter threads, shortly after the break up was leaking by a gossip account F1 Twitter went crazy, they loved the couple. They made comments upon comments expressing their hard break at the news, they also still make post dedicated to Lilly and her achievements. And it tore the singer apart.

And she has to admit; lily is perfect.

And that was the worst ever.

Lilly was sweet, good with kids, talented, smart, funny, gorgeous and genuine. And maybe even far better than herself.

She now knew almost everything about her: her star sign, her blood type, her family, hot what school she goes to and on what class she was in. She knows that she slept on her side of Oscar’s bed (which didn’t make her feel good). And other things that Oscar had told her, with them knowing each other and being friends while they were dating and him finding comfort in her after the break up.

And she knows it was crazy; they broke up. They don’t even speak anymore! But still, every time he says her name, Y/n can’t help but think that he mistakes herself for his ex.

So she has to admit, she is jealous.

She always knew she had some kind of a problem, but this?

She thought about Lilly 24/7. If you knew how much she thought about the girl, you’d think she was in love.

And if you’d know how much she looked at her pictures, you’d think that they were best friends.

And that was the moment she realised: she was Obsessed with Lilly Zneimer, her boyfriend’s ex.

And not obsessed in a normal way, she wasn’t just jealous of the amazing girl, no.

She had a had a whole white board dedicated to her: all the things she liked, the things she did, the clothes she white (thanks to the fan accounts), the people she hangs out with, her hobby’s, her go to food places, everything.

She was really going crazy.

Not that Oscar knew, of course he didn’t. If he did he would break up with her for her sociopathic behaviour.

After realising that, she knew there were few things she could do.

So she walked through the house to her music room, she sat down, and begin writing.

She needed to stop with the obsession, and the only way for that was music.

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Instagram

Liked by LillyZneimer and 2.964.624 others

Yourusername SUPRISE! My new song ‘obsessed’ is out now! The music video will be out midnight est!!

Thank you @DanielNigro With working with me on this!

View all 264.275 comments

OscarPiastri Excuse me??

OscarPiastri Why didn’t I know?

Yourusername …suprise…?

SabrinaCarpenter AMAZING (but also…?)

GracieAbrams Another banger!!

Laufey The best song ever!

Conangray Girl, check your msg

User7 HUH??

User8 This ganre swich is INSANE! but I love the rock!

User9 Dare I say that this is about… Lilly

User10 Y/n in her stalking era

User11 Nit Lilly liking this😭😂

User12 The aesthetic😍

User13 Oscar didn’t know??

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Instagram

212.543 likes

Celeberty.Gossip After recent speculations that Y/n Y/l/n’ new song ‘obsessed’ is about Lilli Zneimer (Oscar Piastri’s ex girlfriend) The pair was seen hanging out and shopping together. Is the song about someone else? Is there a sudden new friendship? What is going on?

View all 3.765 comments

User1 OMG?!

User2 the line about them being best friends?

User3 Or about them being in love??

User4 I don’t know what’s going on but I love it!

User5 They look very good (together)

User6 I ship…

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No part 2… open ending!!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “So this is what a full hotel looks like…”

Vaggie: “Think it’ll survive until Extermination day?”

Charlie: “I don’t know if I’LL survive to Extermination day.”

Vaggie: “Aww, babe.”

Charlie: “Seriously, who keeps ordering pizza??? We all already KNOW the cannibals will just skip it and try chewing on the poor delivery person!”

Vaggie: “My bet’s on Angel Dust. He’s not exactly thrilled the place got filled up with ‘shit smiling judgmental prudes.’”

Charlie: “Whyyy didn’t I remember the cannibals have a whole dress-code thingy?”

Vaggie: “They are being polite about it though.”

Charlie: “They keep eyeing Angel Dust’s exposed thighs like they’re chicken wings.”

Vaggie: “And if they wanted to eat him up in any other way, he’d be thrilled.”

Charlie: (growling) “Some of them keep looking at YOUR thighs as if they were-”

Vaggie: “Anything other than property of Charlie Morningstar?”

Charlie: “-Vaggie they want to TEAR YOU APART!”

Vaggie: “And they’re not actually trying it, which is polite, even if they’re still talking about how angels might taste whenever I’m in the room.”

Charlie: (pout) “You taste good.”

Vaggie: “Not like that, babe.”

Charlie: “How could the rest of you not taste good too??”

Vaggie: “Ask the cannibals. Meat flavors based on where the meat thing lived and what it ate, something something- What if angel steaks taste like artificial food coloring?”

Charlie: “I like those-!”

Vaggie: "I know." (laughing) “Maybe that’s another reason why you’re the woman of my dreams.”

Charlie: “Am I?”

Vaggie: “The one and only.”

Charlie: “You’d never… think about leaving me for someone else?”

Vaggie: “NO?”

Charlie: “Someone a little more badass maybe?”

Vaggie: “Not possible. You called heaven out for being total bullshit. In a song.”

Charlie: “Maybe someone you had an instant and deep connection with?”

Vaggie: “Like the woman that bandaged my eye socket and took me home with her and nursed me through physical and emotional hell all because she also thought sinners might be people worth caring about?”

Charlie: “Well what about someone who… is just better? At the whole. Everything.”

Vaggie: “Literally who. Who the fuck-”

Charlie: “Carmilla?”

Vaggie: “Car-hhhhHHH." (chokes)

Vaggie: "AHAHAHAHAH! Charlie! WHAT!?”

Charlie: “She’s cool. She’s one of those, those muffin things right? Angel Dust said-”

Vaggie: “A milf, sweetie. It’s milf and PLEASE also listen to Husk’s reality checks whenever Angel Dust opens his well meaning but dumb as shit whore mouth.”

Angel Dust: (distantly) “My HOT and SEXY whore mouth heard that, toots!”

Vaggie: (yelling back) “Then go stick a dick in it!”

Angel Dust: “I’m tryin’~”

Charlie: (used to this) (ignoring them) “So the whole private training battle song thing was, not a turn on for you? At all?”

Vaggie: “If I ever call Carmilla Carmine ‘mommy’ it’ll be because she just signed my adoption papers.”

Charlie: “Oh! Okay! Juuuust wanted to check.”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “Are you gonna ask about me and the head-to-heart I had with-”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “-because I was literally thinking about you the whole time-“

Vaggie: (smile) “That just took a perfectly non-worrying thing and made it sound bad.”

Charlie: “Is there a thing like a- an elf??”

Vaggie: “Aunt you’d like to fuck?”

Charlie: “Well not ME personally. But Rosie is very impressive.”

Vaggie: “You looked more impressed up in heaven.”

Charlie: “Huh? Heaven??”

Vaggie: “Nothing- never mind. I do actually have a lady-related question for you though.”

Charlie: “What does heaven have to do with- what?”

Vaggie: “I think I’m in love.”

Charlie: “WHAT!?”

Vaggie: “She’s ripped out my heart and I want to thank her for it.”

Charlie: “Th-thh that’s wait how when-?”

Vaggie: “Charlie.”

Charlie: “-y, yes?”

Vaggie: “Can we keep inviting Susan over, even after Extermination day?”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Susan.”

Vaggie: “Charlie please? Please? She's the granny I don't deserve and desperately need in my life. Please please please please-”

Charlie: “But, Vaggie- She HATES everyone!”

Vaggie: “I know!”

Charlie: “And she SAYS it!?”

Vaggie: “And it’s so fucking cool.”

Charlie: “She said you dress like a hooker!”

Vaggie: “Angel Dust was furious. I think he would’ve thrown a punch at her, in defense of hookers everywhere, if Husk hasn’t grabbed him.”

Charlie: “A LAZY hooker!”

Vaggie: “That one hit home and I’ll cherish it’s sting forever.”

Charlie: “She’s not NICE. She doesn’t even PRETEND to be nice like the other cannibals do!”

Vaggie: “Isn’t that great?” (grinning) “She’s like, the anti-Alastor….”

Charlie: (sigh)

Charlie: “I guess… being brutally, painfully, rudely honestly about your feelings is… not the worst thing someone can be.”

Vaggie: “YES! Can we adopt the creepy old mean lady?”

Charlie: “She can visit. We are NOT inviting her to LIVE here.”

Vaggie: (smiling)

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: (drooping) “…not unless she wants to.”

Vaggie: “Thanks, sweetie.” (kiss) “She never would. She hates us all and especially the hotel. Ask her and she’ll tell you, in detail, how all our decorating ideas are terrible and she’s only here to grab the free snacks, shove some angel leftovers in her basket, and then fuck off to her own perfect home back in Cannibal Town.”

Charlie: “So why scare me like that by asking? SUSAN in the attic! Ughghgh…”

Vaggie: “’cause it’s nice hearing you’d be open to it anyway.”

Charlie: “Mmrmph.”

Vaggie: “I like remembering that you’re like this.”

Charlie: “Whipped marshmallow.”   

Vaggie: "That Angel Dust again?"

Charlie: "Maybe."

Vaggie: "I've got a better word for you."

Charlie: "Like 'girlfriend?"

Vaggie: “Like amazing.”

Charlie: (snorts) (smiles) "Heh. Alright, flattery accepted."

Vaggie: "My wonderfully, adorably dramatic, heart stopping and breathtakingly passionate girlfriend, the most incredible person I've ever met, who-"

Charlie: (laughing) “Now who’s being a sweetie?”

Vaggie: “Charlie, I’m seri- whoah!”

Niffty: (lifting up floor board vaggie was standing on and peeking up at them) “Hey guys!”

Charlie: “Niffty!” (hug lifting vaggie to safety) “W- hi! Um! What is it?”

Niffty: “A bad day not to wear underwear!”

Vaggie: “And a good day to Die.”

Niffty: "I WISH!" (GIGGLES) “News from the hotel gossip line! S.O.S from Husk- he says Angel Dust and some cannibals are fighting over who gets to put the new pizza delivery in their mouths while Cherri’s taking bets and also shots.”

Charlie: "Shots of alcohol?"

Niffty: "Laser gun!"

Charlie: "Nooooo I thought we'd cleaned up everything after Pen's last inventing spree!"

Niffty: "Missed one. She keeps missing too. She fried the pizza."

Vaggie: "Instead of?"

Niffty: (GRINS) "The pizza delivery person!"

Vaggie: “Ugh. We look away for Ten. Minutes.”

Charlie: “Well that’s not- that’s not TOO bad! At least Sir Pentious isn’t-”

Niffty: “His corpse is in the lobby.”

Charlie: “-right. Okay.”

Vaggie: “Why is he a corpse in the hotel lobby this time?”

Niffty: “The cannibals accidentally ate his tongue while he was trying to show Cherri how long it was and then he choked while proving he has no gag reflect and can unhinge his jaws.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Niffty: “The cannibals want to snack on him again but Susan keeps yelling at them about ‘crumbling standards’ and ‘back in HER day-‘”

Vaggie: “I love her.”

Charlie: “I’m right here.”

Vaggie: “You kinda love her too right now.”

Charlie: (pulls face) “She can come to dinner every other week. If we live. For now though, let’s just, um.”

Vaggie: “Go save the snake man?”

Niffty: “That man is DEAD!”

Charlie: “Resuscitate. We should go resuscitate the snake m- Sir Pentious.”

Niffty: (giggles) “And I’m gonna go order another pizza boy~” (scurries back under floor board)

Vaggie: “Wait, Niffty-”

Charlie: “Niffty! Are YOU the one who’s been-? Vaggie NO-”

Vaggie: (spear out) (in pursuit) “GET OUT OF THE CRAWL SPACES RIGHT NOW AND COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE-”

[uraharasfavoriteexperiment]

~ | short leash

[ pairing ] roommate!byakuya kuchiki x streamer!male reader [ genres ] smut. js filthy smut. [ cw ] kissing (more like making out), really heavy cursing, finger fucking, rough sex, light choking, breeding, praising, body worship, pet names (love, prince, doll, doll face, baby, kitten), short!reader [ author's notes ] cloud ten is a thing now. make cloud ten a thing. oh also there's a mention that you're grimmjow's brother + a grimmichi mention. [ words ] 2665 (how did this take so long.) please reblog fanfictions when you read one you like! likes do not help writers' algorithms!

"m/n-"

you hear a familiar voice from across your flat. you grin, practically bouncing in your gaming chair out of sheer excitement.

"hey guys, i gotta go~" you say, giving your live chat the cute puppy pout you were known for.

"whaaat nooo!!" came a stream of incredibly pouty protests from some of your regulars, "whyyy"

you smile, pouting again. "my boyfriend is home!" you say, hoping they'll come to understand.

"oooh ok then go! go go go, go be with ur big handsome hunk~"

your brightly colored, coral-blue eyebrows disappear into your equal-parts brightly colored, coral-blue hair.

"elaborate." you demand, your voice cool, low and almost indistinguishable from your boyfriend's.

"oh gulp ok um- well he snuck on ur cam a couple streams back and i- 😳 that man is. is very hot. um. yeah."

you grin proudly, blushing lightly and nodding furiously.

"yeah, he is hot. he's really hot, i love him." you admit happily, looking over at your office door impatiently. your grin widens when byakuya walks in, and you squeal happily, looking back at your camera.

"alright guys, i'm gonna head out for the night, the man of the house is home and i gotta help him decompress from work." you say, faking a sad pout and dragging the pad of your pointer finger down your cheek to simulate a tear of sadness.

"i might get on tomorrow, but maybe not~ byyyye!" you smile and wave, flashing your happiest grin to your chat. you click the "End Stream" button and turn off your camera, spinning around in your chair and running into byakuya's arms. he smiles, wrapping his arms around you and burying his nose in your hair. he inhales a deep breath of your comforting scent, letting his eyes close and squeezing you possessively.

"you've washed your hair." he observes quietly. you look up at him, confused.

"how'd you know?!" you ask, tilting your head to the side like a confused puppy. his soft, tired smile becomes slightly more mysterious. you squint at him suspiciously.

"byakuyaaaa..." you say, "tell me."

"nope." he responds. you growl. byakuya goes completely, utterly, and defiantly silent in response.

you growl again, much more furiously this time, and without warning you give him the furious-pout-puppy-eyes combo...

and his demeanor crumbles.

"whenever you wash your hair it becomes shinier and more fluffy, and it starts to shine blue." he admits, his face turning a light, rosy pink. you smile shyly, your heart swelling with intense amounts of affection that you couldn't dream of explaining in words.

"you're so damn cute, 'kuya..." you say, pouting again, "makes me wanna ruin you."

byakuya's eyes darken and his aura changes from tired to something more threatening. his hands slide down your back and squeeze your waist, pulling you further up against him. he leans in, and his face is suddenly less than half an inch from yours. your heart skips a beat.

"you ruined me a long time ago, m/n..." he says in a near-whisper, "and besides... it's not gonna be you who takes control tonight."

you grin, leaning in and closing the distance, letting byakuya pick you up by your thighs. he wraps your legs around his waist and carries you effortlessly toward the plush, satin couch you had in your office, dropping you carefully into the cushions and quickly yanking off his shirt, not even bothering to move his hair back out of his face.

he needed you too much, and byakuya was an incredibly impatient man.

he pretty much falls on top of you, immediately burying his face in your neck and latching onto your throat hungrily. you moan at the sudden (and quite aggressive) contact, and your hands stray of their own accord up into his hair. your fingers tangle into his long, dark locks, and you pull his hair a little without noticing, eliciting a ravenous growl from the back of byakuya's throat. he bites harder on your flesh, leaving a bright purple mark on your throat.

byakuya pulls away without any warning, making you whine in furious protest. he grins, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you tightly, kissing you roughly. he keeps the kiss heated but continues to tease you, waiting. then, when you moan needily into his mouth, he takes the chance he's been waiting for, slipping his tongue into your mouth. you moan again, but this time the sound is a little more highly pitched.

"'kuya, c'monn..." you whine, "quit teasin' me, quit bein' a meanie~"

byakuya grins, shoving his tongue down your throat again. he growls, the immense pent up horn evident in his voice as he slips down your body like a snake, leaving little kisses and loving nibbles on your neck and collar bones. he continues this way for a few seconds, then his hands slide up underneath your shirt to grip your waist.

"take it off, kitten." he demands quietly, "now." you nod quickly, gently pushing him off of you and sitting up. you bend over and pull your shirt off as quick as you can, tossing it onto the floor and impatiently pulling byakuya back down with you, smashing your lips onto his. he shoves his tongue into your mouth and sliding his rams around your waist again, growling possessively.

"you're on a short leash tonight, you know." he says, breaking the kiss and looking you right in the eyes, ignoring the whiny protest you give. you look up at him, confusion clear in your face.

"what do you mean, 'kuya?" you ask, "what'd i do?"

"you made me go to that fucking meeting, m/n." he says as though this should have been obvious, "kurosaki and your brother are beyond insufferable, they never stop fighting. they're worse than you and renji."

you groan, rolling your eyes and squirming aggressively underneath byakuya's weight, pouting furiously at him.

"how's it my fault that blueberry and strawberry can't keep their hands to themselves?!"

"because i said so."

you pout in an unnamed emotion miles past fury.

"not fair."

"i'll make it up to you later." byakuya says quietly, latching onto your throat again with no warning. but this time he includes something else in his torturous ministrations- something a little more kinky.

one hand slips sneakily up your body, and he pokes your bottom lip with two fingers, looking at you expectantly. you grin, giving him what he demands. your tongue comes out and you take his two fingers into your mouth happily, moaning, whining and whimpering around them while he bites and sucks on your neck and throat, leaving the prettiest, purplest hickeys he can make all over your supple, irresistible skin.

byakuya lets you suck on his fingers for a while- about five minutes, before willing (more like forcing) himself away from your throat. he gently pulls his now-soaked fingers out of your mouth, grinning when he sees the shiny string of saliva that connects your swollen, pink lips to his fingers. he takes his weight off you, sits back and looks at you, and you don't even need to be told. you nod, quickly sitting up and kicking off your pants and boxers, pulling him down into another kiss.

while byakuya kisses you, he pulls you close to him by your waist- and now is when you notice that he, like you, is completely naked. he bends over you and touches his forehead to yours as he carefully presses his two fingers into your entrance, whispering praises and sweet nothings into your ear as he slowly guides you into the moment, not wanting to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

"you're doing so well, doll," he whispers lovingly, kissing the tip of your nose. you whine, shifting a little as he starts to move his fingers inside you.

"keep doing well and i'll fuck you dumb, kitten." he promises coolly, grinning when he sees the lewd, hentai-equivalent facial expression you make. your eyes roll up into your head and your face turns red, and a needy, wanton moan escapes your throat.

"oh god, please- 'kuya, please," you whine, "i-i'll be a good boy-"

byakuya interrupts you, kissing you roughly.

"you'll be a good boy anyway, brat," he hisses, "you've misbehaved today, and you need to repent." he grins wickedly, grabbing your chin with the hand he wasn't finger-fucking you with and forcing you to look at him. you shyly make eye contact with him. an invountary whine escapes your lips and you bite your bottom lip, shifting needily underneath him.

"good kitten." he says lowly, his voice dripping with lust.

byakuya then leans down and latches onto your lips, shoving his tongue into your mouth again and his hand tangles into the hair on the back of your neck. he decides to play with you a little, tugging on your hair, adding another digit into your body without warning and continuing to fuck you relentlessly with his fingers.

after about five minutes of torturing you, he pulls his fingers out of you and repositions himself between your legs, grabbing your thighs and using them as leverage to pull you closer to him. he gets onto his knees in order to support his weight better, then bends over you and kisses you again...

but this time it's different- softer, more gentle and comforting as he slowly, carefully bullies himself into your hole, eating up every moan and whimper that leaves your lips as he fills you up with his ridiculously sized cock.

"f-fuck..." you whine, "shit, 'kuya, you're huge- mpfh-"

byakuya interrupts you impatiently, smashing his lips onto yours. he shoves his tongue down your throat yet again, choosing to wrap one hand around your throat at the same time and absolutely relishing in the choked gasp that rips from your lightly constricted throat in response.

"quiet, doll face." he commands quietly, and the cold, authoritative tone in his voice makes you obey without question, biting your bottom lip again and going silent. your eyes flutter closed and your face turns lily-pink, and a shaky breath escapes you as he starts to move. he lets go of your throat and grabs your thighs, squeezing and kneading them possessively as he steadily speeds up. within not even two minutes he's effectively railing you, holding you by the hips with your thighs wrapped around his waist as he punishes you for what you've done.

"you're doin' so well, kitten," byakuya coos into your mouth, "takng your punishment so fuckin' well... i'll have to remember to reward you dearly after you've taken your retribution."

your face turns bright red at the unwarranted praise, and your heart starts to race, having finally caught up with your head and realized what was going on inside and around your body.

within another five minutes your moans and whines start to become more desperate and high-pitched, and byakuya's name quickly becomes a common appearance in the short spaces between the lewd sounds you were making. your thighs squeeze his waist tightly and your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your nails scratching bright red lines into his back and shoulder blades.

"aagh, fuck- fuck, shit- ah, fuck, byakuya-" you start to ask him to fuck you harder, but then the tip of his cock hits your prostate, making every thought leave your brain and causing your eyes to roll up into your skull.

"oooh fuck, baby, right there-" you growl like a stray dog, hugging byakuya as close to you as you can as your mind slips over the edge and you ascend to cloud ten. byakuya grins, burying his face in your neck and bites down- hard- on the spot right behind your earlobe, making you all but scream out of sheer, blissful pleasure.

"you're so pretty, baby," he whispers into your ear, making you whine needily, "your thighs are so thick and strong... and your waist is so perfectly shaped..."

your hole clenches around byakuya's cock and you moan loudly in response, making him let loose an animalistic growl that sends lustful shivers raging down your spine. his grip on your hips, which you hadn't noticed before, tightens aggressively, and he's sure it'll leave bruises on your skin later on. the idea of that makes byakuya's skin crawl and sends nasty thoughts flaming through his sex-fogged mind, but he keeps the filthy thoughts to himself and continues on the path he's currently on.

"'m g'na breed you, doll face," he hisses into your ear- and the very idea of it made a violent shiver run down your spine. byakuya feels your body shake, feels your insides squeeze around his cock in response, and a ridiculously uncharacteristically wicked grin spreads across his face- a grin so stupid that you could physically feel it against your neck.

byakuya chuckles, biting down on your neck again and sucking on your already-abused skin until yet another violent purple hickey comes to fruition. his hands slide down your sides and he squeezes your ass hard, so hard- plenty more than enough to make you moan again, and then, without any warning whatsoever, byakuya's pace quickens.

he presses one fist into your gut, forcing you to feel the way he's fucking you, making sure you know exactly who's fucking you so good.

so good...

so...

damn-

good.

your chest starts to heave, your lungs wheezing for air, and your eyes roll up into the back of your head as your orgasm hits you like some sort of heavy force. your pretty sounds go silent, as if someone snuck a hand behind your throat and flipped the off switch...

it infuriates byakuya.

he wants to hear your voice. he wants to hear the pretty sounds coming out of your mouth; he wants to hear exactly how blissful he's making you feel. he growls in irritation, pressing one arm against your throat, applying just enough pressure to make it hard for you to breathe, but not enough to cause you any harm. leans down over you and uses his knees and his free hand to balance his weight, fucking into you faster and faster, harder and harder and harder, fucking you relentlessly through your already-ravaging orgasm.

his own walls crumbled quickly after that moment, and soon he has both arms wrapped around you, hugging you tightly enough that you're still having trouble breathing. you're hugging him back just as hard, but with all four limbs- you're back to making your pretty little sounds, but it's mostly whimpers because you're losing stamina and byakuya is slowly suffocating you. byakuya continues to abuse your prostate, growling into your ear a disorganized mixture of possessive, worshipping and filthy comments that makes your head spin.

"h-hurry..." you whimper weakly, nuzzling his ear with your nose to try to egg him closer to his own orgasm...

and it works. byakuya's walls fall to the ground in pieces. he growls like an animal, slowing down drastically, instead choosing to fuck deeper into you as his orgasm finally finds him. he presses his hand into your gut again, applying as much pressure as he can muster up, whispering filthy, disgustingly sweet praises into your ear (mostly concerning your body) as he fills you to the brim.

byakuya releases the pressure on your gut and slowly pulls out, letting his weight fall on top of you, his chest heaving against yours as you both slowly regains conscious control of your minds.

"you did so well, kitten..." he purrs into your ear, his voice softer than usual. "so fucking good."

you smile weakly, a light pink blush dusting your cheeks. you hug him with every drop of strength you've got left, and he hugs you back, nuzzling his nose into your neck.

"byakuya..." you say quietly.

"yeah, prince?" he responds quietly.

"i love you..." you whisper. byakuya smiles, reaching up with one hand and caressing your cheek with his thumb, dusting your neck, shoulders, collar and chest with light, cloudy kisses.

"i love you too, doll."

© uraharasfavoriteexperiment.

[luffyvace]

Late!! Dazai B Day hcs!! 😊

Yes IK I’m like literally almost 2 months late but I’m doing it ✨fashionably late✨

Dazai would become such a big baby 🤦‍♀️

he wants to sleep in late and wants breakfast in bed

the whole shabang 🙄

basically demands everything cuz he’s “the birthday boy☝️🤓”

and if you don’t get it for him your a bad s/o 😤✋

also demands cuddles all day long, which- I guess isn’t so bad 🤷‍♀️

I hope you didn’t plan anything, cuz he pretty lazy and doesn’t wanna work or even go out really

i mean maybe, only if you promise you have something super fun planned 🤩 and he’s gotta be interested in it too! ☝️😤

or your going to jail! For ruining his birthday D:

wouldn’t mind if you invited the Ada members over, actually asks you to do it at some point because his b day is too lonely without lots of friends and a party!! :D

all the sudden he has all this energy and wants to turn up LOL

so you guys put on some music, pour some drinks and have an unplanned party on the spot!!

although I’m sure Atsushi was planning one for him anyway <3

you’d best have brought him the most top tier gifts too!! >:( only the greatest stuff for the birthday king! 👑 (yes he deems “boy” too belittling now and wants to be called the birthday king now 😭⁉️)

gives you lots of kisses, back hugs and overall pda, - AND NO COMPLAINING!- cuz he’s the birthday king~ 😊

so if you don’t like it suck it up for a day butter cup!- Cuz he loves it! 💋

undoubtedly bothers Kunkida and asks him to do obnoxious, stupid things he knows he wouldn’t wanna do

and there’s no getting mad cuz he the birthday king!~ 😉

kunikida gets mad anyway and Dazai whines that he’s not supposed to get mad at him on his big dayyyy! D;

goes to you to tattle tale and you switch the topic by suggesting limbo! 🤩🤷‍♀️

To which Dazai immediately falls in love with this idea and demands everyone to play

in this order, is how everyone wins:

0 Dazai (he’s the birthday boy king ! )

1 Fukuzawa (the real winner)

2 Atsushi (tiger flexiblity)

3 Kyoka (super tiny)

4 Kenji (Second tiniest)

5 Tanizaki (would’ve done better but Mii-Chan aka the cat jump on him- LOL 😅😂)

6 Yosano (woman flexiblity)

7 Dazai’s ACTUAL placement-

7 Ranpo (would’ve done better but when he got “no” as an answer to “is the reward snacks” he gave up before even trying)

8 Kunikida (Dazai tickled him 🗿)

9 Naomi (has girl flexibility but wanted Tanizaki to win over her)

10 Kirako [office lady] (has girl flexibility but didn’t really try)

yippieeee Fukuzawa Dazai wins 😁🏅

for dinner you had spicy curry (either Kunikida or you made it)

And his cake was marble, I feel like he’d really like it

⚠️Suicide/death mention⚠️ (ofc it’s Dazai..)

at some point he asked you to commit double suicide with him, you can’t say no! It’s for his b day!! 😖😫 imagine dying on the day you came into the world!! With your lover! Isn’t that just romantic!~ 😍 hurry! Pick a painless way to die from this book of his before the day is over!! 😄 no? WHYYY?! 😩 *cue Dazai melting and turning into a hot mess on the floor*

by the end of the night your apartment is pretty messy and you and Dazai are cuddling up in bed, your head on his chest (or vise versa whatever you prefer <3) in solidarity silence

he demands you give the birthday king a goodnight kiss, and you do 💗

Short n sweet, but sometimes that’s how we prefer it, right?

-Brook🏴‍☠️

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Whyyy are all my mooties sick! Gah. Even spread out all over the place. This is for @darkstarlight82 who's been sick for a while and who also asked me for a comfort thing for Draken like 18 1/2 years ago and I've been a dick and not done it yet. When you told me you weren't feeling good STILL I went a different direction with this Sorry it took me so fucking long, C!! Lyyyy!

Draken was the first of the two of you to get sick.

Like always, you were right there to take care of him and nurse him back to health.

You had never seen him get so sick in all the years you two were together.

He was so weak he couldn't walk to the bathroom by himself.

Whatever it was you hoped you wouldn't get it but you weren't going to leave the l.o.y.l. to rot away in his own filth.

He'd sweat a lot and then get the chills.

The amount of times you changed the sheets was impossible to believe.

He felt so bad about being such a nuisance to you.

You had to call in to work a few days to be there for him.

He almost cried when he was starting to feel better and you mentioned in passing that you were feeling really tired and your throat was scratchy.

"Shit, you don't - you don't think you're getting sick now, do you? Goddamn it." He said in a froggy voice.

You shrugged. "I'm sure it's just a cold. I'll be fine." You smiled weakly.

You had never seen Draken so worried before. It was adorable. He tried to get you to lie down and rest when he could still just stand on his own two feet.

He brought you hot tea and soup and made sure you took your medicine.

You felt so loved and cared for.

After a few days, you started to feel better.

Draken was so relieved that you were okay.

He hugged you tightly.

"I was so worried about you. I thought I might've gotten you sick or something."

"It's okay, Draken. I'm fine. You got me through it."

He kissed the top of your head.

"I'll always take care of you." He said.

You felt a fluttering in your chest.

You realized that you loved him.

You loved him deeply and completely.

And you knew that no matter what, the two of you would always be there for each other.

I hope this reaches you feeling better, C!

@arlerts-angel @katshimizuu @kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku @viburnt

[leofromsomewhere]

my thoughts after binging star wars: the acolyte

this is your spoiler warning if you haven't seen it

jecki my beloved :((( why did they do that to you :((( i loved you so much :((( i was gonna make a lil oc to be your bff in jedi training but they went and killed you :(((

related: you don't get to murder my favorite child and then just go and be that hot

i hate him im so conflicted. i have never before experienced the blorbofication of a blorbo-killer

especially when the killed blorbo was a kid. like, yes all child murder is bad, but child blorbo murder is especially bad.

also, before he was revealed to be the sith lord, he had me convinced he was in love with mae, but there is something a little bit frightening and maybe a little predatory about how quickly he turned all his attention to osha and i am very interested to see what the good citizens of ao3 have to say about that

and vernestra, why you gotta do my man sol dirty like that? like i get why, but like, whyyy? he deserved better than that

last and least, i spent the whole show going "occupational safety and health administration? what are you doing here?" and i thought i was a comic genius for that. it was quite humorous that osha's job as a meknek was 100% not OSHA-compliant

[lunar-years]

Roy’s been so obsessed with Jamie the whole time, actually. Keeley ‘s a little bit weird about him too.

- While flirting with Keeley in the press room, trying to get her to give him a second chance “Because I like you more than I hate him”

- Keeley being turned on by Jamie offering an inkling of vulnerability after showing up at her door

- “Every time I wanna kiss my girlfriend, I can’t stop thinking about Jamie fucking Tartt”

- In the middle of making out with Keeley, literally on top of her after he’s just walked in on her masturbating, “What did you tell the prince prick of all pricks about going back to Richmond?”

- Jamie thinking Roy and Keeley started dating just to make him jealous which. Well. Keeley technically had sex with Jamie to get back at Roy in Season 1

I’m probably missing some moments but They Are Just So Weird About Each Other. And in retrospect, the love triangle angle could’ve been done soooo much better. I hate that Jamie’s apology for the video leak is diminished when he tells Roy about it in the bar, but I do understand it shows their character regression and serves a greater purpose for Roy’s arc. And maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but it would’ve been more interesting if Keeley and Jamie had sex after he apologized in S3 (although the hug was really sweet).

idk why but the way you worded it "Keeley's a little bit weird about him too" actually made me laugh out loud lmao. Thank you for that anon. I think Keeley ALSO being unhinged about Jamie is something that is underrated!

I think my favorite is the scene where Keeley masturbates to Roy's retirement presser because the whole thing is SO 'Jamie is the third person in the room right now even though he is not actually here in the room.' Like. Let's compile the Evidence in that scene alone:

Keeley's vulnerability kink is activated so hard by Jamie having traced her to her coffee shop to seek her advice specifically that she immediately goes home to have a wank about it. Except she can't wank to Jamie can she? That would be bad because she's In a Committed Relationship. So she pulls out her old reliable Roy vulnerability video to wank to that instead. (Already it's pretty crazy.)

But then Roy comes home and Keeley tells him how hot she finds him when he's vulnerable, suggests again he take a chance on the pundit job and then uses JAMIE AS THE COMPARISON. literally fully well knowing how Roy can Get about Jamie Tartt, she's on about 'Jamie is brave.' 'At least Jamie is trying to get better.' 'YOU'RE JUST LIKE JAMIE.' i mean, GIRL?? insane. this is all after being walked in on mid-wank mind you.

In midst of all that, let's queue up another super sexy roykeeley kiss. at this point the conversation has MOVED ON. only for roy to BRING JAMIE UP AGAIN. 'what did you tell the prince prick of all pricks?' WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW ROY. whyyy are you still thinking about him. unbidden. as you are right in the midst of foreplay with your girlfriend.

Insanity on all sides of the triangle ❤️

But all of your examples are spot on and I fully think the weirdness about one another started even before any of that and got FAR WEIRDER from s3 and beyond. For instance, Keeley in the season one bar scene openly getting turned on by Roy with Jamie right there... one could argue that she was already leaning towards trading in Jamie for a nicer model but frankly. I think girl was angling for a threesome even then. And good for her!

Keeley and Jamie sleeping together after he came to apologize would've been a MESS. I would love to read a fic of that!

Part of what is so fun to me about the three of them canonically ending the series single is that the possibilities and configurations for smooshing them all together remain endless. maybe they all three figured it out at the same time and got together in a very romantic and cute and non-angsty way. BUT. if you want to be messy. roykeeley or jamiekeeley or royjamie can get together first, and whichever one is left out can just absolutely without a doubt be Going Through It. Meanwhile things aren't going fully well for the couple, and it's far from bad but they still can't get it RIGHT because it still feels like something (hint: someone) is missing. The someone who is currently off to the side thinking they aren't good enough aren't lovable aren't ever going to be okay again but at least their favorite two people are happy :( without them :( :( glorious

[nesisamess]

ok so i missed the premiere 😭😭 but here are my thoughts as i watched it:

MAJOR drdt chapter 2 episode 15 spoilers

damn is ace really the murderer? he is acting suspicious and eden keeps on pointing out things to defend him which is very eden. honestly if he is it’ll be a loss. i wanna see him make a friend :(

ugh the charwit i hate gay people

acevid is tragic yuri

nonstop debate!!! woo!!

laundry ball!! glad we’re getting some more of the evidence sorted out

also side not but ace’s cgs are so. mm, teeth

ugh two fully va’d speeches from ace? we eating today fr

crack theory alert 🚨🚨‼️‼️ about the ‘all murders will be punished’ thing i have a theory. all of them killed someone in the time gap they don’t remember (for whatever reasons. maybe they were all part of their own individual killing games that they made their way out of alive by killing someone) and so this killing game is their ‘punishment’ lol.

oh my god we’re getting an argument armament is he fr the murderer??? ahhhhhhh. the horsey :3

slingshot? hhhuuuhhhh?

THE ACE STEALING THING IS COMING BACK AHHH

OOOOHHHHHGHHH GO OFFF TERUKOOOO (god she’s so hot whyyy

ITS REALLY HIM???? MY GODDDDDDDD (sorry all the eden culprit truthers)

god you people better be writing so much fanfiction and creating aus where he’s not the killer tbh he didn’t deserve to die i’m sad

i just want him to be happy. and for arei to have lived as well.

god that’s the end??? ughhhh so ace is confirmed a huge piece of shit but still i can’t help but have sympathy for him. i could have fixed him (platonically) fr. we still have another episode for his possibly other motivations/backstory drop, but i think we got the majority of it already. i’m kinda hyped/nervous to see his execution tbh

[justaboymadeofhoneyandglass]

more about the orange triooooo

ok so WARNING THE FOLLOWING WILL CONTAIN MENTIONS AND DISCUSSIONS OF INCEST JUST GO AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT

Alex is the youngest, he's almost two years younger than phillippa, and about four ish years younger than Camilla (idk ill say a million different things about this, age is weird in my madd universes)

Also, Alex calls Camilla; Cami, Sweetie and Mommy as well as Ma'am and Sir lol, also calls her Mami a LOT

Camilla calls Alex: Darling, Dear and Babyboy, and Al and Lexi, Pup/puppy because yes, and also calls him little one or little brother (he hates the first one, he only somewhat hates the second haha guess whyyy)

Phillippa calls camilla: Mommy and Ma'am, rarely sir but she does call her daddy on the regular lmao, she also calls her baby and Mami (because yes of fucking course she does) and she calls her Cam instead of Cami

Alex calls Phillippa; Baby, sweetie and darling when he's comforting her, he also calls her sis and Mami kinda jokingly (when he thinks she looks hot) but always when they're speaking Spanish haha (HE HAS ISSUES OKAY)

Philippa calls Alex; Baby, sweetie, sweets, sweetheart (always said condescendingly) and Alexander when she's mad at him (jokingly or fr)

Camilla calls Phillippa; Babygirl, little one (She hates it), sweetie, darling and dear, and calls her little sis and occasionally also kitten just because phillippa absolutely dies from it

So yeah... that's that

@thevampireslovelywife here you go the weird shit part eins

[fictionkinfessions]

CW: Vague references to suicidal ideation, SH, animal violence/general violence (added by a headmate because he won't do it himself.<3)

UGHHHH this shit is so boring, I get out of dormancy and BOOM all the funnn people are gone and we don't have people around us daily to fuck with, and now front and the entire system is run so fucking strictly i cant do anything fun!!!!! I'm not allowed around pills, anything sharp or metal, anything heavy, anything hot, or literally ANYTHING fun without another person right next to me in front >;(

At least it's Finch idk he's cool but fuck it's BORING!!! And I also get stuck with the shittiest fucking source and memories Abt "redemption" and blah blah but IDC!!! IDC about redemption bullshit bc the people I liked being around in source aren't here so why should I give a shit??

Wahh wahh they can whine to me all they want Abt that shit but Shooting Star ain't here and neither is Pinetree and WHYYY should I care if no one who felt like?? Home ig are here?? And Fordsy ain't here and neither is his dumbass brother and I have NO ONE here who is fun except for MAYBE Finch and Eli >:(

This sucks, I'm bored, and I want OUT!! might send more shit here just for entertainment and attention idk so I'm gonna put a tag for funsies but UGH

-Bill Cipher (Fictive) (#👁️💛)

x

[iantimony]

tuesday line go up (derogatory)

hello from the end of my workday. writing this on my office computer as i watch my simulation crash in real time in the background. convergence line go up :(

listening: astonishing legends the body on the moor part 1, for some reason astonishing legends is such good Cleaning And Organizing noise to my brain. i've raised my eyebrow at some of their conclusions sometimes but i love a good unsolved mystery that doesn't focus on true crime what i can say

more 00s, just whatever shit the spotify algorithm spits out basically..."hard and heavy headbanging tuesday afternoon". i think for brevity i am going to focus on posting only the things that stuck out to me or are ear worms at the moment, which for this week is miss murder by afi, the kill by 30 seconds to mars, and out of control by hoobastank, especially the line in the latter after the chorus that goes 'and i may never know the answer to this endless mystery' that for some reason tickles my brain.

reading: Bring Back Those Pumped Italian Sodas (Anna Hezel): i LOVE italian sodas. the candy shop on main street near me does italian sodas and it is my favorite little treat to do a hot girl walk downtown and get a little bevvy to come with me. they whip so hard. bring them back everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!

elitism is the enemy of the people (Mina Le) and the linked The machine in the garden. (Emily Sundberg) ... discourse(tm) about What Substack Is For, which means nothing to me as a non-substack user. i use a rss reader to follow a few specific substacks but i do not use the platform even a little bit. sundberg seems to disparage the list format (shoutout to miss deb perelmen who i saw in there as an example of things that are pushed on the platform now) (deb's newsletter is one of the ones i follow with my rss feed lol) slash the concept of "list of content I’m consuming" which. looks at my weekly roundup posts. lol. i do understand to an extent, though - does my weekly roundup post make me a Writer(tm)?? i would kinda agree that no not really.

this zine that i think i reblogged yesterday is very cute.

watching: i saw the new alien movie with a friend! it was really good, i enjoyed it, i did look up the jumpscares beforehand because i do not do well with those in theaters especially the big imax ones, but it ended up not being necessary - the local theater here has no imax or any of the big surround sound gimmick things, which i actually prefer, and it also means the tickets were dirt cheap. 10/10 experience. the movie itself was fun, the correct amount of peen/vag imagery that one would expect from an alien movie. important to note that the dehumanization of an android character (who is also the only black character and strongly autism coded) is a big plot thing, it is not Good that he is treated that way and that is also a plot thing but it is important to know going in so it's not a surprise (thanks to someone in a server i'm in for pointing that out, i didn't clock it as being potentially triggering when i saw it but i was like ohh yeah that does make sense to warn people about). really good cast and plot overall, there was only like one point where i was like "whyyy nooo that makes no sense, why would you do that" (without too much spoiling, the gravity turns on and off in a portion and they were just. zooming up an elevator shaft using the lack of gravity. like why would you not be staying near the ladder. you KNOW it's going to turn off at some random point. anyways), but in general the decisions the characters made were really reasonable which made it very fun to watch the consequences of like, yeah, that is also the choice i would have made, shit. the ending made me go EUGH!! in a good way. lots of good easter eggs that i probably missed some of. made me weirdly nostalgic for my dad because when i was growing up he had a life-size hyper-realistic rubber facehugger model. he used to mime getting attacked by it. my mom hated that fucking thing. it must have gotten thrown out or given away at some point. anyways, as the kids would say: it's kino

thank u celestialtourguide for ur dropout login xoxo, i have been watching a lot of 'make some noise'. i love how sometimes you can hear the crew laughing in the background.

youtubesphere:

jimmy robins: The Fallout of Watcher's Betrayal, what sparked me looking more at dropout. also found out from the comments section that sam reich is son of robert reich ??? wild

finished the george r r martin problem. basically: yeagh

dangelo wallace: not gonna link em all but his videos on chapell roan, katy perry, blake lively, and starbucks. pop culture updates that mean nothing to me. good background noise tho

mina le: underconsumption-core, travel outfits, and Paul Mescal’s shorts, the luxury of privacy & the celebrity vs. influencer paradox. my boyfriend is a proponent of the tiny inseam shorts and i wholly encourage it. more of that, please, from everyone.

made in the moment: My Crafty Boston Apartment Tour. as someone who is also just moved into my own apartment alone for the first time and is in the process of making the space feel like mine, this hits interestingly.

playing: dnd as normal. i finally got to go mask-off, was replaced by a doppleganger like six months ago and finally got to pop off and kill some guys and beat the shit out of my friends lol >:b i have also moved the game that i run to biweekly instead of weekly. i just have too much fucking things happening and dm burnout real.

making: evil eye coasters! these made me very nervous because of how streaky the underglaze is! so i did the tedious task of re-coloring in around my sgraffito lines of my [redacted] coasters. clear coated them and crossing my fingers. these coasters are also too thin, two of them are too warped to use as coasters so ill have to figure out what to do with them. maybe drilling a hole (carefully...) so i can hang them up somewhere? the [redacted] coasters are like twice the thickness so i don't think they'll be warped as bad thankfully.

i also. made. mesopotamian foot bowl :) i did not have a reference image at the time because that happened to be when the t mobile towers went down for a few hours last saturday so i kinda just freeballed it but he looks. so silly i love him. i think im gonna have to modify him, i was chatting with the studio owner about it and she was like "if you threw that bowl on a wheel you should hollow the legs out, wheel pottery twists slightly as it dries and that plus the drying rates being different will make them just pop right off", which, i can always glue them back on! but i should give him the best odds possible. bonus lil tushy

i made a BIG BOWL !! it's not really clear from the image but it's the most clay i've ever thrown at once, i think it's like. 2.5 lb?? i didn't actually weigh it first oops i should weigh it. but it's like a foot across at the top. i put it on little ball feet to use as some sort of display bowl i think.

and there's one more bowl that is really unremarkable so no picture for now.

fiber art: made a fucking. magic the gathering card cozy for a friend that my local mtg group is putting together a care package for. it's so fucking stupid i love it. not gonna post a pic of the front, it's just a dark red border to hold the card in. i might outline the swamp symbol with matching embroidery floss (or maybe navy??) to make it pop more, might also sew a small square of fabric on the inside to hide the loose ends. colors were chosen to match his main commander which is braids

eating: FINALLY finished the gyudon. um . didn't cook many more recipes. i was going to do one pot chicken meatballs with greens and deb smittenkitchen's corn bacon and parmesan pasta last night but i spent two hours wandering walmart like my ancestors wandered the desert and came home and just had leftovers lol. the cooking will commence......today after i post this and go home.

misc: the midwest is hot this week! fml! on the plus side i don't think my average energy bill in my new place will be worse than my old one despite the worse insulation based on the mid-cycle energy report email i got, on the minus side now i am not splitting that cost so technically it feels more expensive :( thankfully i have finally been finishing the process of closing my dad's accounts so i will have a little padding in my bank account, plus i think i am supposed to get the fellowship i won deposited soon?? shrug. i booked some flights using credit card points that in retrospect i should have booked with Money because of that fellowship but oh well. i am still in the Everything Is So Expensive stage of moving as i finish getting furniture and miscellaneous home goods, hence the two hour walmart wander yesterday. i still need a couch. i think i am getting a frat house walmart futon for like $150 just because it's space efficient and won't break the bank and will be easy to sell when i move out. i should probably order that before i go visit home for 3 weeks ...... anyways. that's this tuesdaypost done and dusted.