#also SORRY i dont know how it got so fucking long

[sieglinde-freud]

grabs ur hands dm ur reasoning rn *looks at you with my big eyes*

YOU GUYS ARE PEER PRESSURING ME WTF... but ok im just gonna post it here then hi tc thank u for the ask :) going under the read more because my initial ramblings were literally 3k but let me see if i can chop it down. cw: LONG. also pic for reference so we know what im talking about

so the placements all assume the only headcanon thats real going into this is that the morgans are siblings. no canon second parents which means no chrom!inigo or anything like that they all have single moms or whatever idk not important but just clarifying none of that is impacting their placements because i dont want to think about that

black eagle placements were the most fun because the fun thing about that route is that it splits into two more! one thing thats always bothered me is that when that route splits, the only thing that changes is that you either lose edelgard or hubert or you lose flayn. are you really telling me those are the only three students with enough free will to not let byleth pick the rest of their life for them? ferdinand would NOT go to the church i dont care!!! this is something they fixed (kind of) in warriors but in general when picking the black eagles i wanted to keep that in mind too

so kjelle was the first character i looked at and went “i know where you go.” i think she looks at edelgard and goes “you are everything i want to be and more” because what edelgard fights for and how she accomplishes it. kjelle is a very “the strong must protect the weak by any means necessary” which is kind of harsh when its presented to the player in awakening but it is literally edelgard’s whole philosophy. and kjelle is very egotistical (not hate i love her ass so much underrated fav!!) she thinks incredibly highly of herself so for her to bow down to anyone they would have to 1) echo her ideals and 2) be stronger than her. sorry shes never bending the knee to dimitri and claude i dont give a fuck she doesnt like those men. i think she’d understand edelgard’s idea of putting power in human hands and fully commit to the ends justify the means. this isnt really a gameplay rewrite thing im trying to do but if byleth picked the church she would leave. also… please. please please consider edelkjelle… okay guys… for me……..

on the opposite side nah was my second immediate “ohh i know what im doing with you” and its because if byleth picks edelgard, shes out!! granted, i could just put her with lions or deer but how is that fun. its not. nah, being a manakete, would probably be much more understanding of rhea and willing to reach out. being a manakete is probably a pretty isolating experience for her, ylisse or fodlan or otherwise, so i think her finding solace with rhea and flayn and seteth during her time at the academy would allow her to get closer to people more like her, and understand on some level why rhea is the way she is and why governs the way she does. though, still being housemates, she’d befriend edelgard and i think she’d admire edelgard’s conviction and maturity during the academy arc. but when edelgard betrays the church i think she’d take that very hard, and i dont think anything edelgard would say to her would get her to turn on what is basically the family she never got to have (theres also second gen angst potential in here somewhere…)

inigo was interesting to think about and i did almost saddle him in with golden deer but i like the potential of him with edelgard a lot more when i really sat down and thought about it. im pulling more from his characterization as laslow i think but at first i wasn’t really sure if i had a case for him picking between the empire and the church but i decided to go with the empire because i do think in the time he has with edelgard, he’d be a voice of reason for her (to hubert’s dismay). edelgard’s problem is that she has literally no outsider pov and is going based on her own sense of justice that, while its based in good intentions, has a lot of unintended consequences and failure to acknowledge how it impacts everyone else. i think inigo could take a unique role, similar to ferdinand (or lorenz to claude, felix to dimitri) in that he challenges edelgard but on a much more friendlier level. the thing about how that role normally plays out is that its formed on some personal grievance rather than genuine better interest of the people, and i think of all the lords, edelgard needs a friend the most (its why shes so attached to byleth???). and just looking at how hes able to handle xander in fates and how much more introspective he becomes, i think it’d play out similarly here. also i think with the forces of him and dorothea combined they would give ferdinand the worst bisexual panic of his life. ik i mentioned felix/inigo WHICH I STILL LIKE but imagine the layer of angst if they are on opposing sides… ok thanks

was on the fence about gerome until beloved mutual (hi woocy :3) convinced me he would be beagle and im completely down with that. for me, i struck out blue lions immediately. so after that its just a matter of do i think he fits in better with BE or GD and quite honestly. for some reason golden deer gets the rep of being the meme house but aside from lorenz looking a little funny anf claude putting up a facade YOU ALL FELL FOR this straight up is not true. the funny house is black eagles and by GOD it would piss gerome off to be there. i dont think they chose their houses, by the way. i think they got to fodlan and rhea vibe checked all of them immediately so he didnt have a say in this. not only is he stuck with inigo, hes stuck with watching kjelle—the strongest warrior ever probably the only one in the second to match him in terms of raw strength—stumble over herself over their house leader because wwaauuw women pretty LIKE COME ONNNN. though, i do think he’d respect edelgard for her strength, and theres a lot of interesting dynamics for him to explore. dorothea pissing him off, bonding with petra over their enjoyment for wildlife, he would definitely be training partners with caspar, and i think he’d actually be like. really good at talking to bernadetta? maybe seeing her reminds him of how he was when he was younger. maybe he gets her out by introducing her to minerva. much to think about. but in general he would keep mostly to himself with standard gerome “cant get close to people that i cant guarantee will stay with me” fashion i think he probably wouldnt be as close as say someone like inigo or nah would be with the house. so when the time to choose a side comes… i dont think he’d have the relationship with edelgard to pick her. i think he would oppose her ideals, and go with nah, if not flee fodlan entirely because omfg who careeesss…. WHO CAREEESS his ass is in wyvern valley (no i think he’d fight. but he’d def consider dipping)

m!morgan is here because i think it would challenge him. guy who is so cute so earnest so ready to be happy in school learning everything hes ever wanted hoping to come home and make momma proud and oh my god he got put in the most crazy house imaginable. whoever his professor is is probably like wow morgan you have a gift for tactics! why dont you try managing the class for a mission? and being morgan he’d go YES ABSOLUTELY!!! unfortunately this house has hubert. and ferdinand. and bernadetta. and linhardt. and caspar. the thing about robin and the shepherds is that most people immediately respected robin as their tactician and robin was able to connect and befriend most of them fairly easily because they were mostly all sane and normal people. the black eagles are most definitely not and have you guys seen that black eagles seating chart post? well. i just think it’d give morgan a hard time and between him and f!morgan its funnier if its him. also splitting him from the justice cabal for timeskip angst sorry. also i think it’d be cool if he took edelgards side. i dont actually know which way he’d lean thats a tossup like this is a character that i could believe would trust byleth’s judgement and go with them but if its edelgard i think that could set up fun conflict between him and nah. grima vs naga part 2!! though i actually did have him for blue lions first if only because of the three houses the blue lions probably need a tactician type the best but. i like this one better.

so for blue lions i immediately clocked owain like look at this guy. i think owain would see the house of cool knightly chivalrous types fighting for justice and being cool and having swords and i just think he’d be in heaven. i also think, to him, dimitri would be a figure to look up to similar to lucina, but with the difference that they are not family and owain might put him on an even higher pedestal because theres this sense of familiarity he had with lucina thats not really there anymore? kind of similar to ashe and dimitri. and when the timeskip comes, i think he’d be endlessly devoted to dimitri even still, never forgetting who he was before and striving to bring him back, still thinking of this idolized version of him, even if it puts himself at risk. i also think in general, owain would thrive in the blue lions house. felix, ashe, ingrid, dedue, annette— those are all prime support partners for him that have a lot of potential. the blue lion house is very… the way that they are. and something owain shows in fates is that though hes very good at using his theatrics to ease people, whether that be on purpose or otherwise, and by god do the blue lions need it. look at them… jesus.

cynthia is in the blue lion house for similar reasons but i think she has a key difference from owain. while i think owain is the type to go down with the ship, i think cynthia might actually serve as an opposition to dimitri and potentially go against him in a similar fashion to felix and annette in thats hidden in the games files and was never put in the game (WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. dimitri doesnt get enough push back in azure moon!! another post for another time though). in their time at the academy, while owain is fangirling over dimitri, i think cynthia would too at first. but fodlan is very different than ylisse, and in particular faerghus treats its knights and specifically women knights very differently than cynthia wouldve otherwise been treated. i think this would push cynthia into questioning faerghus’s ideals (especially in getting close to ingrid who im sure she’d find friendship in) and eventually dimitri in how he seemingly upholds those ideals. when he goes down a darker path in the timeskip, she’d probably take felix’s more critical approach, and i think she could turn on him. for the empire? probably not. but i dont think she’d be as down as owain or ingrid to keep following him when hes not taking accountability for what hes doing. she might find her way back once hes come back to himself but who really knows. not me (<- girl who is writing all of this)

yarnes a funny pick because lions are supposed to be brave and fearless and hes a Rabbit. but obviously yarne would be very aware of that irony and i think it could serve as a push for him to come into that bravery, and thats something i think the lion house could help him do. i think he’d look to dimitri for solace similar to how he does with lucina, and dimitri would be very happy to provide that for him. when the timeskip comes and dimitri is lost, i think yarne would have to find it in himself to abandon that anxiety for a bit to come help ease dimitri, sort of repaying him for his initial kindness (read: i want eyepatch scary dimitri to find stress relief in petting a big ass bunny). also i dont need yarne to be in the same house as petra and marianne for him to interact with them. dont worry thats a thing. also if youre a real one you recruit marianne to blue lions everytime. no i dont know how they’d handle bringing a taguel to fodlan i dont really care either

for severa i think, even if she would rather not admit it, justice and loyalty are very key parts of her character. its buried underneath her mean girl attitude and like five pounds of trauma but its there. and what are the blue lions if not loyal knights with very LOUD auras of sadness? she would be similar to felix in terms of their views on knighthood, and obviously her whole thing with cordelia would put her at odds with the whole dying for your king/for glory thing faerghus has going on. similar to cynthia she’d be very critical of faerghus and dimitri except she’d be that way to his face. she doesnt have the same personal beef with him the same way felix would, and might be a little more like how i imagined inigo would be to edelgard, criticism with the better interest of the greater good rather than formed of personal beef. in the end though, i think she would stick with dimitri. also i think she’d have insane sexual tension with ingrid like i dont think theyd like eachother but like. my vision… do you see it.

bradys in lions partially due to mutual influence (hi zorua) but also because i ended up liking his potential with the lions as opposed to the deer or eagles. he’d have a very cute friendship with mercedes and annette i think, playing violin for them and having tea party gossip sessions. i think he and dedue could bond over being kinda scary but doing what they can to ease people’s fear of them. since thats an insecurity for both of them that brady purposefully takes steps to get rid of (ex: him hunching over is so that he can be eye level with children and people shorter with them so as not to come off as intimidating or more powerful) i think brady could help with that. though if im being so real i dont think he would like dimitri. i think he would stay and stick around and help dimitri get better. but i dont think he’d approve of his bloodlust and be very open with his issues in regards to how dimitri handles and carries himself. sorry guys im not meaning to have dimitri catch so many strays here 😭 i love the guy i just also like when theres conflict here i promise

laurent is in the golden deer because i think he and claude would be very like minded people in terms of trying to discover the secrets behind fodlan and what that means and how to better navigate fodlan as uncharted territory. theyre both foreigners, as are all of the second gen kids, but thats something claude keeps under wraps that i think laurent would be able to tell very quickly (not that it was hard. claude doesnt hide it well its just that everyone in fodlan is either stupid or all the smart people are kept away from him) that claude is from almyra. i think this knowledge could help him serve as something of a confidant to claude. obviously he wouldnt tell laurent everything but when claudes supposed closest allies are lorenz (guy who hates him and prays for his downfall) and hilda (girl who is racist and from a racist family) its just like. well maybe claude should have another friend who is normal adjacent at least, and laurents not the type to go blabbing anyways. obviously both lorenz and hilda (eh. well.) get better about their mindsets post timeskip but i think in the time of the academy laurent would be a very valuable friend for claude and vice versa. in general laurent would do well anywhere because i think most of his interest would be with the technological and scientific advancements of fodlan which is flexible, but i think, with rhea purposefully halting progress and claude being the main guy who wants truth above all else, this is the best spot for him. could hear an argument for him going to edelgard (potential recruit out of house recruit fs) but i do like him with claude a bit more. gerolau angst also.

lucina is in golden deer because i dont want her in the other two houses but also because i do think, similar to laurent, she’d be very valuable to claude and vice versa. awakening world building is horseshit but from what little we do know there is quite a bit of political discourse that lucina probably knows quite a bit about. even if her timeline was thrown into war when she was young, she probably had some form of royal training and can help claude navigate fodlan a little bit. i also think coming to fodlan would just be a very refreshing experience for lucina as the burden of everything is no longer directly on her shoulders, and i think she’d be looking for a broader perspective on life and finding another purpose for herself now that grima is dealt with. i think claude would be able to help her with that and i think she’d be genuinely interested to learn of his homeland once she figures out where hes from (i do think laurent beats her to the conclusion but not by a lot. remember this is lucina aka marth aka woman her disguised her own royal status and was very successful at it. just saying). also while i did say that golden deer is in fact not the meme house, i think they are more light hearted overall in terms of character (does NOT mean meme house or funny house. look me right in my eyes and say the house WITHOUT hubert and linhardt is the meme house. fucking liar) and i think lucina would love that. i want her to get the chance to be silly and childish for a little bit. characters like raphael and marianne and lysithea might help her heal that inner child that she never really got to let out and i just think the golden deer house would be the best place for her

morgan is here because i didnt want her and marc in the same house thats too easy. but while i think claude is the least in need of a tactician type character, him and morgan would be sooooo funny so cute and i need someone who can keep him on his toes. i think he blurts out a plan and morgan goes “ermmm ackchully” and half of the time her rebuttals are complete nonsense she just wants to argue. i think they both enjoy it. i also think, similar to lucina, a light hearted house would be a little better for her. shes much more prone to mischief than m!morgan is i think and i think the deer would benefit from that if only so she can target lorenz and make me laugh. i also think separating the twins would make for fantastic angst down in the timeskip but for now shes just hanging out having fun being a piece of shit. #girl also i think its funnier if one morgan is absolutely thriving and the other is barely keeping his shit together and by god it is way funnier if its f!morgan getting away with everything

noire is here because. i. could not think of a reason for her to go anywhere else! i thought about putting her in beagles but i dont think making that choice between the church and edelgard would be as interesting for her? and i dont think putting her in lions would do anything for her. i think the best lord and the best house at helping her through her issues and being understanding of her mood changes is probably claude and the deer. i could see hilda and leonie reaching out to her, or ignatz and her getting on pretty well, but im not quite sure on the specifics of that. my least thought out placement but also it doesnt matter because it keeps the placements balanced to put her here. i’ll have to give this one more thought…

anyways if you can believe it this is the cutdown version. i know right. i hope i didnt forget anyone that would be really embarrassing

[teknikolor-walters]

OH BABY okay so this was originally the ending to a much bigger fic that I ended up just scraping so sorry if there's a little bit of context missing but I think it'll be ok. Cool.

This is completely non canon to H1VE or anything btw I just couldn't resist making scarab worse

Bug blinked their eyes open, then shut them again. Everything was so... bright. Too bright. It was hard to think through the brightness and the fog in their head.

Had they died again? They assumed so. They only ever felt like this after dying. Had Cassie killed them again? Shit. Cassie.

She blinked her eyes open again and saw Cas staring down at her. She reached out to him.

"Cas.." she whined, "what happened?"

His brow creased. He looked older. More stressed, too.

"Did I die again? How long was it?"

Bug looked around and realized that they had never seen this place before. It didn't look like their apartment, and it didn't feel familiar in any way.

"Where are we?"

Castiel hesitated for a second.

"Bug. Do you want to go home?"

"What?" It took them a second to think through what he was saying. Their head was so foggy. Everything was too bright. They buried their face in Cas's hoodie.

One of Cas's hands found Bug's hair and scratched at it idly. She sighed. Okay. Maybe this wasn't their house. That was fine. This whole situation was fine. Cassie would handle this like he handled everything else.

After a moment, Cas grabbed a fistful of their hair and yanked hard, forcing her to look at him. Some kind of instinctive panic welled up inside of her that Bug did her best to tamper down.

"Do you want to go home?"

"No- I- I mean- I wanna go back to the apartment. I don't recognize this place."

Castiel sighed and dropped the hand in her hair. They stayed put, still looking at him.

"No, not the apartment, do you want to go back to H1VE?"

"H1VE?"

Vaguely, she remembered H1VE, fuzzy memories so-called friends who would only keep her there and force her to kill just like a flinchites and being killed by Cicada and just barely being able to survive.

It was still so hard to think, let alone remember. The memories that resurfaced left them with the feeling like there was a gaping hole in their organs, so they pushed them back down.

"Yes, Bug, Scarab, H1VE. Do you want to go back? I can take you back."

"Why would I wanna go back?"

The confusion on his face was almost cute, before it soured, and then sharpened.

"They- fuck, Bug, why do you have to make this so complicated? They're gonna miss you, they do miss you, probably a lot."

They blinked. "No they don't." He told them so themself. He was right.

Cas rubbed his face, then suddenly stopped, and grabbed their hand.

"Bug, what happened to your wedding rings?"

"Oh, you didn't like them, so I threw them away. They're probably long gone."

Cas rubbed his face and sighed again. "Do you not remember? Do you just not care? B0UNTY? Jessie? Fox? Capybara?"

Fox. Capybara. That struck something within them. Fox. Capybara. The feeling was back, like there was a giant gaping wound in their chest. Capybara. Fox.

"Fox.." they whispered, almost reflexively. Cas gripped their hand tighter.

"Yes, Scarab. Fox. And- and Capybara, and the rest of them. Do you want to go home?"

All of these emotions and thoughts and feelings were all just too much for her. It was still so hard to just think. How long had she been dead? Where were they?

She snuggled back into Cassie's chest.

"No. They don't- they don't love me." It was harder to say than usual. "I'd rather stay here with you."

Cas pushed her off of him, and held his knife to her throat, right up against her tattoo. The knife that had taken her life so many times.

"Do you want to go home? Back to H1VE? Back to B0UNTY and Jessie?"

They shook their head, smiling. He pressed down harder.

Somehow, they knew he wasn't going to revive them this time. That was okay. They didn't mind dying at his hands.

They loved him. They loved him they loved him they loved him.

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

[the-kipsabian]

watching old stuff (like, beginning of aew) and this is kips first match of tv/dynamite. the fact that he can hang with the fucking elite says so much of the level of talent he actually has

the crowd is chanting "this is awesome" while hes in the ring, having winning offense against matt jackson

hes being put on notice here. he makes people take a double take. he doing well in a tag match against the elite. he had a banger before with hangman. he won the first ever singles match in aew history

so fucking by god tell me why is kip sabian still overlook, under rated as all hell and not given opportunities to prove himself when back FOUR YEARS AGO he was this fucking good and now hes even better

[arthur-r]

as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Thinking about Berserk again. I havent read any of the new chapters because Miura's death kind of got to me really bad so thinking about or talking about berserk at all just made me really depressed and I think I probably havent even looked at it since he passed (after I used to reread huge chunks of it like every week) but now its been like two years and Im thinking I should just accept it and give the new stuff a shot.

One thing I am always thinking about though is how Miura's death effected discussion around Berserk and how much it will continue to effect discussion. Like, I always felt Berserk never got enough criticism. You can search Berserk on here and find all my old posts complaining about how everybody was jumping the gun on calling it One Of The Greatest Manga Ever when it wasnt even done and at the time most people were convinced it hadnt been good since like what, conviction arc? And that was back before Kentaro Miura died and his death has only made the discussion even more like "Berserk is a beautiful wonderful masterpiece and anyone with problems doesnt GET IT".

So like I stopped reading under the idea that no matter what happened it wasnt gonna be what REALLY shouldve happened, now I think thats kind of unfair and maybe I should give it a shot, but I think that idea is gonna be influencing how people talk about a manga that was already being given alot of undue praise and adoration from people who seemed to mostly never have actually read it and had nothing more interesting to say about it beyond it being the manga that popularized the idea of a guy with a big big sword. I dunno.

[confettigraffiti]

I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what

[corvidcall]

Did you ever tell the story of why ******* kicked you out because she forgot to pick you up from work on here? I remember it happening in real time and it was not funny but in retrospect, it's 200 upvotes on reddit material lol

LMAO its so funny you censored her name. like shes gonna be here or something. cant let her know i still think shes a bitch!!!!!

anyway heres fun little anecdote about that time i was forced to move out, in the style of an aita post, fake names and all

AITA for being mad at my roommate for not driving my somewhere?

I (22nb) live with two roommates, Makenzie (22f) and Justin (19 trans m). We all met because we worked at the same place, and we've been living together for almost a year. Of the three of us, I'm the only one who has lived with roommates before, but I can't tell if I'm being TA here?

Makenzie is the only one of us who can drive, and she agreed when we moved in together that, if we gave her some money to buy her mom's car, then she would drive us places whenever she was able. I work a little over a mile away from our apartment, so I CAN walk, but since I get off work at around 9pm, and the sidewalks aren't really well-maintained (it's a really industrial part of town, so it's not GREAT for walking), she agreed that she would pick me up after work every day.

Last week, I got off work, and waited for her to show up, and she never came. I texted her a few times, and when she didn't respond after I'd been waiting for almost an hour, I texted that I would be walking home. Apparently, she'd fallen asleep, and midway through my walk home, she woke up, got in her car, and tried to come find me to drive me home. She couldn't find me (the sidewalk is really hard to see from the road, and it's extremely dark, so I'm not surprised), and then frantically tried to get a hold of me to make sure I wasn't dead. I didn't see her texts because I was 1. walking and 2. on the phone with my partner. When I got home, she was pissed that I made her worry. She thinks I did it on purpose to get revenge? I told her I was just busy, and she seemed to accept that, but today she and our other roommate sat me down and told me that I needed to find a new place to live, because "this wasn't working out."

According to her, I'm not entitled to a ride anywhere, so I had no right to be mad at her for not giving me a ride, and I certainly didn't have a right to make her think I was dead (I literally told her I was walking home??). She also brought up that I never do my chores on the chore wheel (she made the chore wheel without asking. She just announced that she'd made a chore wheel and I had to clean the living room, which I'm almost never in anyway) and that I owe her $200 (from when we adopted our cat, which I think is weird to bring up when you're trying to kick me out?? it's not like I'm gonna get to keep the cat). She's saying I'm entitled and inconsiderate, but I feel like she's punishing me for the fact that she flaked. AITA?

Edit: If it helps, she's flaked on rides before. A few months ago, she agreed to take me to the doctor, and then the day before my appointment, she told me she couldn't give me a ride. The reason she flaked was because she wanted to go to the weed dispensary instead :/ she said it was fine, because "your mom will just get you an uber anyway". My mom agreed to pay all my necessary expenses while I'm in school (I'm a full time student; she pays my rent and I use the money from my part time job to pay for my food) but she's not like. Rich. I don't feel good about just spending her money on stuff I don't have to.

UPDATE: Makenzie made a post on Facebook about how "it's so sad when someone would rather lose a friendship than admit they were wrong." I shouldn't have commented, but I did, asking her if she forgot we were facebook friends, and then I blocked her. In retrospect, I should have just blocked her without commenting, but I'm only human.

UPDATE 2: Well, I'm moving out. Justin started harassing me, accusing me of stealing his shampoo and letting the cat loose on purpose, neither of which I did. I have my own nicer shampoo, and I love cats (I just was asleep when he told me the cat was missing, because it was midnight and I wake up at 6 am to go to school. I guess the fact that I didn't immediately leap to my feet to find our cat means I wanted him dead???) Makenzie is refusing to give back my deposit, because she says she needs to have the carpets in my room professionally cleaned before a new roommate can move in. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But I guess I'm willing to pay a couple hundred dollars to not deal with this anymore. Still, sucks. :/

[crunchycrystals]

while im procrastinating on my homework im just gonna say im gonna be kind of very mad if that mv she's filming is actually for a midnights track lol i like the theory that its for long live though i think that would really fit if the vid is actually about taking back her work

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

welcome to a new episode of "crisis", today about researching inattentive adhd and trying to find out whether you're being rational or trying to find excuses-

[klonoadoortophantomile]

cannot believe that slime rancher 2 came out and i still havent been able to play the first one despite literally owning it <//3

[duskerot]

Hey… Do you know the song sung by the voice actor from the pilot Hazbin Hotel? Called Thank you and goodnight. Weirdly this song reminds me of Mystic Messenger, despite being a new fan and having been into this game until this year 2024 I already felt a connection, seeing old posts about this game from an old fan somehow makes me tear up. Despite I'm a fan of 2024, I somehow feel nostalgic about this game despite never actually experience it before

i don't actually, i've never seen hazbin :0 i just looked up the lyrics tho and i see what you mean!

absolutely no shame being a "new" fan, actually i'm really happy to hear new people are finding the game in 2024 !! i first downloaded it in 2016 and only recently redownloaded it last year for the nostalgia actually :') it's silly but this game and others by the same devs actually mean a lot to me lol

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

[toytulini]

lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny

[iiscpr]

more bullshit

[slimeylee]

why have these last years fucking sucked ass