#also I'm pretty sure I've been conditioned to cry when That music plays

[tojisis]

100 Things about me

1) Full name?

Jurgen Teodor Aliaj. (My middle name is my dad's name)

2) Male/Female?

Male. Born and raised.

3) Were you named after anyone?

My late uncle from my mother's side.

4) Does your name mean anything?

It means land worker in German.

5) Nickname(s)?

Juri (from my family), Alejandro (from my girlfriend)

6) What do you think you look like?

Yes.

7) Date of birth?

August 11th 2006

8) Place of birth and current location?

I was born in Ioannina, Greece. I currently live in Tirana, Albania (I've been here since I was 2 years old).

9) Nationality and race?

Greco-Albanian, white as a ghost.

10) Astrology sign?

Leo. Rawr.

11) Chinese astrology sign?

Dog, I'm not complaining I have two of them.

12) Religion?

Christian. (Roman Catholic)

13) What's your favorite smell?

Cheap incense my hipster brother used to keep in his study room in the 2010s

14) Political Position?

Independent.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Chocolate milk.

16) Hair + eye color?

Dark brown hair, almost black, with hazel eyes.

17) Do you look like anyone famous?

Girls used to say I looked like Tony Lopez. I think I'm more like Anthony Padilla.

18) Are you good looking?

Perhaps.

19) Any unusual talents?

I am near immune to any sickness and or allergy if that counts as a talent.

20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?

Ambidextrous.

21) Gay, straight, or bi?

Straight.

22) What do you do for a living?

Senior student, who is jobless.

23) What do you do for fun?

Well, I used to play bass, but that is long gone. I do like travelling a lot and I can't wait to be independently travelling in the future.

24) Materials to work with?

I don't work...

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?

A hammer, like Judge Judy.

26) Have you met your grandparents?

Yes. Unfortunately ¾ of them have passed away when I was not yet a teenager.

27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

I have a beautiful and amazing girlfriend.

28) Crush?

My girlfriend.

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?

If my girlfriend was a celebrity, I would date her. If I was forced to date a legit celebrity, maybe Lucy Liu.

30) Current worries?

The country I live in. Murders and car accidents by the daily.

31) Favorite online guy/girl(s)?

My girlfriend.

32) Favorite place to be?

A place with air-conditioning, food and my girlfriend.

33) Least favorite place to be?

A place which is WITHOUT air-conditioning, food and my girlfriend.

34) Do you burn or tan?

I tan, except for a few parts of my face and back.

35) Ever break a bone?

I fractured my right tibia 3 years ago.

36) What is your favorite cereal?

I don't eat cereal.

37) Person you cry with?

Myself most of the time, I'd rather cry to my girlfriend if we weren't 2 hours away from each other.

38) Any sisters?

I have two sisters. One is older, the other is younger.

39) Any brothers?

I have two older brothers.

40) Any pets?

Two golden retrievers. Shanks and Jay

41) An illness?

Nope. I'm a healthy boy.

42) A pager?

I'm pretty sure my brothers and sister used to have one of those. I've never used one.

43) A personal phone line?

Those don't exist anymore.

44) A cell phone?

I have a Samsung Galaxy S10.

45) A visible birthmark?

I have a mole on my neck.

46) A pool or hot tub?

Pure salty seaside. Nothing beats it.

47) A car?

Currently, no. Once I get my license I'm planning on getting my brother's old Wolkswagen.

48) Personality?

I am usually very brooding, unless music is involved.

49) Driving?

I haven't gotten my license yet, but I know the basics of driving. My dad taught me.

50) Your clothing style?

Jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie at almost all points in the year. I also like hats.

51) Room?

52) What's missing?

Half my stuff probably, but I try not to look for it as it all wanders back again eventually.

53) Do you like roller coasters?

Oh God, no. I hate those. I actually threw up once.

54) Bed?

I own one, yes.

55) Relationship with your parent(s)?

Pretty good, although there are scuffles every once in a while. Better than most.

56) Do you believe in yourself?

In some areas, yes. In most, I have no reason to.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, but I do love to have mature arguments with people who do.

58) Consider yourself a good listener?

Most of the time yes.

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?

Law. Adjourning. Law. Justice.

60) Get along with your parents?

More than ninety-nine percent of the time, honestly.

61) Save your e-mail conversations?

I save those yeah, but mainly for archiving and later use if needed.

62) Pray?

Meh.

63) Believe in reincarnation?

Nope.

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?

Three times usually.

65) Like to talk on the phone?

It's exhausting unless I hear my girlfriend talk. Those are calls worth having.

66) Like to eat?

I eat a lot, but I can't gain weight.

67) Like to exercise?

I go to the gym twice a week usually, but other than that I'm a lazy bum.

68) Like to watch sports?

Yes. Been with Barça in the womb.

69) Sing in the car?

Depends on the songs.

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?

I haven't had a dream in two whole years. Maturing ig.

71) Dream in color?

Idk.

72) Do you have nightmares?

Idk.

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?

No.

74) What's right next to you?

Sunglasses, Murakami book, Backback, Summer hat.

75) What's on your favorite mug?

One I got from Greece last year that's shaped like a woman in a red bikini.

76) What's on your mouse pad?

I don't own a mouse pad.

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?

Spearmint or Watermelon.

78) Your brand of deodorant?

AXE: Vice

79) Your dream honeymoon spot?

Saint Tropez, which is too much now, but I'm sure I'll be able to financially ensure it in the future.

80) Your dream husband/wife?

Intelligent, nice, likes music, can keep up an actual conversation, similar interests and doesn't have an enormous complex with her ego.

81) What's hiding in your closet?

Nothing to hide. I've cleared out my junk.

82) Under your bed?

A suitcase full of old pictures of relatives I've never met and cassette tapes belonging to my mom.

83) The name of one of your closest/best friends?

Ugh, either Santian or Erion. I can't choose between the two, because I grew up with them both. I'm a tad bit closer to Erion tho.

84) Your bad time of the day?

I'm batman, everyday is gloomy and dark.

85) Your worst fear(s)?

Heights. Shit they scare me.

86) What's the weather like?

Balkan hot, which is so fucking hot.

87) Your favorite time of year?

Spring.

88) Your favorite holiday?

March 9th, international sleep day.

89) A material weakness?

My girlfriend.

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like?

Ermmmmmmmmmmy girlfriend and casserole.

91) At the top of your "to do list"?

Become lawyer.

92) The hardest thing about growing up?

You're more nostalgic and less down to earth, pondering about life being less fun now that you're mature.

93) A pet peeve?

Being the penultimate child of 5 siblings.

94) Your scariest moment?

Whenever I have the gut feeling I've forgotten something that was supposed to be on me.

95) Your attitude about love?

I shouldn't rush it.

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done?

Sophmore year, group facetiming a friend as I baited him into a fake girl's ig account and he straight up called me mommy before revealing myself.

97) The worst feeling in the world?

That you've absolutely blown over an argument after carefully crafting it in your head. Ya gotta live with the embarrassment.

98) The best feeling in the world?

Being with my girlfriend.

99) What are you listening to right now?

Stranger In This Town by Richie Sambora

100) Like to travel?

Yep. Might go to Milan for my 18th.

[abyssalmermaiden]

CR 2 episode 85

"I always dream of playing uno with my dad"

JESTER

JESTER LAVORRE

SWEETHEART

YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

---

I’m gonna cry

Me, pointing at The Gentleman: “you are not immune to Jester Lavorre”

“Hey Dad, next time I’m in town...let’s play some uno” I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

made it to the break and then went to hug my dad

[stateofgrace1303]

My chronic illness, how it started.

*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read

this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story

out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I

might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include

everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I

love you all ❤*

(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm

OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to

share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,

even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it

here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you

all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if

you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got

deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)

Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd

post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life

on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all

just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most

swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this

on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted

to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense

now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.

Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette

Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been

completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at

the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out

TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So

even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take

me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before

the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.

So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards

the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision

became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black

around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.

Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto

my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could

barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we

thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as

possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,

but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats

on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I

was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super

uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually

right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told

them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people

never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We

almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they

took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The

nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea

medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got

worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my

stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw

up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed

they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a

while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food

posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was

completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were

turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to

Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I

couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at

the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she

was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...

But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad

went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for

about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise

I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then

Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be

able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to

me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.

It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital

(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something

very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because

I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in

the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,

struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to

get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12

year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,

and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really

understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting

colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with

my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never

experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just

trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed

me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been

avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his

girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said

"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we

left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really

weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of

both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had

to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to

pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and

then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me

love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so

frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the

set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and

get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going

to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was

holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,

into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard

Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,

and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.

I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed

back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we

stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the

parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het

back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park

wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest

thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of

the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds

of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played

it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this

song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal

conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our

seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew

it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke

up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better

after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't

know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to

the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month

later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a

month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than

the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody

had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on

my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same

thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the

rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly

I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call

my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me

to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they

could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i

woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and

constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was

later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid

doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick

to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose

control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.

And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms

and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it

can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people

think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find

ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and

watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so

dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't

have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I

have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most

days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to

weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its

even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets

depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it

really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I

am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most

disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures

now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a

while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran

in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most

days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since

then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I

got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and

I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body

and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest

but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel

sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.

Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted

to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't

say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I

was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was

discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created

something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic

nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how

important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or

cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of

dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one

kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half

neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and

sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!

Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to

New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a

trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay

for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll

find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and

funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and

Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like

I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I

wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've

been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres

something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes

me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i

smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to

Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it

represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the

magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this

"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And

it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,

after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a

child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially

because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and

health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I

truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't

ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It

won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And

I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still

fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do

really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so

thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors

so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that

can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my

health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10

times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do

this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for

13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me

through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has

a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that

makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...

And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get

better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad

days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,

Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every

single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel

from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I

should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this

thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,

I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping

this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much

and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

@taylorswift @taylornation 🌈❤ @taylornotices 💜

(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there

they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my

nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand

pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first

aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I

couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small

movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.

Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the

picture is from ❤)