#also I think without realizing it Humans who work with Vulcans don’t really use their hands a lot

[theshadowrealmitself]

A: So anyways with the captain and backup captains out of commission, we all took a vote and voted for B to be our next captain

B: I begged them not to! :)

B: But they didn’t listen to me

C: The only order we didn’t follow, but for any after that, we’re your loyal crew

[440mxs-wife]

Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @marvelouslytrekking​ @spacedancer1701​ @anna-phora​

[myenterpriseisparked]

can.... can we get a cast for your zoologist Trek show?

I don't have names for them but here we go! This is kind of long, so I'm putting the characters under a cut.

The ship is called the USS Frontiersman. It works mostly in deep space, studying new forms of life on newly discovered planets. Crew compliment of 160. 50 exozoologists, 50 exobotanists, 20 environmentalists (including geologists and atmospheric experts). The remaining 40 crew members are engineers, security officers, helmsman, and the captain and first officer. I'm not positive on the time period this is set during, but it's at least at a point where there's not much conflict between Cardassia and the Federation.

Captain: She's a 40-year-old Engineer who never expected to make captain. Finding out she was being offered a command was the best day of her life. The worst day of her life was the next day, when she stepped on board and realized it was an exobiology ship filled with eccentrics. She slept through her required exobiology course so she has no idea what any of her crew members are talking about. She's basically that babysitter who's charges are all extremely passionate about things she doesn't understand and the parents have asked her to drive them around to local museums and science learning centers while the kids yell in the backseat about who's topic of interest is better.

First Officer: She's a 30-year-old who went through the academy on the command route and was known for being an excellent pilot. Has less knowledge of exobiology than the captain. The two of them keep trying to push interpersonal conflicts to be solved off on one another because neither of them understand what anyone's talking about enough to truly help solve the issue and, frankly, they're both a little frightened of the ferocity of their crew.

Head Engineer: Bajoran who actually did pay attention in biology and, while she's a little confused, she's eager to learn about what the others are prattling on about and is an excellent listener. She tries her best to translate for the non-exobiologist crew members, especially the captain and first officer. She was married (spouse died. tragically) and has a daughter that follows her around engineering. Everyone loves the kid and tries to convince her to study whatever their area of expertise is. Later in the show, when she's a little older, she decides to go the command route at Starfleet and become a pilot, much to the crew's dismay. The First Officer is absolutely tickled.

Chief Medical Officer(s): The Frontiersman actually has 2 chief medical officers; a doctor and a veterinarian. Yes, this is terribly inefficient and yes, they constantly butt heads. The vet is a young human woman from Ohio with a dry sense of humor and a penchant for snark. The doctor is a young human male from Michigan with a dry sense of humor and a penchant for snark. They absolutely hate each other until the day they realize that they are actually in love with each other and all of their arguments have been attempts to deny their attraction. Both of them are absolutely disgusted that they could fall in love with someone so... so... infuriating gosh dang it. They try to continue denying their feelings for each other because they are from rival states and they constantly fight over jurisdiction in the medbay for new species. One day, however, one of their most heated arguments ends in a passionate kiss and they stop fighting their feelings (but not each other).

From there, the rest of the crew is divided up under chiefs of specific taxonomical divisions. Sometimes a division will only have 1 scientist, other times it has a whole crew of people. Depends on the frequency of that type of living thing appearing. Most divisions only have 3 people; a chief and two junior officers. Not every chief is featured in the show because that would be too many characters, so just the ones that are considered part of the senior staff, which were selected by Starfleet at the time of commission based on training.

Chief of Feliformia: She's a hotheaded Betazoid in her mid 30's who spends her free time boxing on the holodeck. She argues a lot with the Chief of Canidae, but they still have breakfast together every morning to trade ship gossip. She wrestles with PTSD and anxiety, which she hides under a layer of bravado. Surprisingly enough, the only person she really feels comfortable opening up to about her past is the Chief of Canidae, because, despite all of their banter about cats vs dogs, they're her closest friend and she appreciates their blunt honesty.

Chief of Canidae: They're a Trill in their mid 30's who's passionate to the point of poetry about dog-like creatures. They're host to a younger symbiont, and they're one of the shortest people on the ship. They also only really open up to the Chief of Feliformia for similar reasons; the blunt honesty. Their relationship is strictly platonic (and I mean actually platonic, not whatever the VOY writers were trying to sell to us about Janeway and Chakotay).

Chief of Rodentia: He's a 70-year-old Bajoran/Cardassian. His mother defected from the Cardassian army to be with his father and the two of them raised him on earth where he raised pet rats. He always has about 7 various rodents tucked into his lab coat. He is a neat freak about his lab space and refuses to let anyone into his area unless they have completely scrubbed up and promise not to touch his PADD stack. Part of his particularity about his lab comes from the fact that he faced a lot of public ridicule due to his mixed heritage when he was young and so he's naturally very defensive of everything he does and owns.

Chief of Chiroptera: She's a twenty-something Half Vulcan-Half Betazoid who was raised on Betazed. Her Vulcan mother was the Vulcan ambassador on Betazed, and her work made her somewhat absent so, while she has enough of a restraint on her emotions not to be violent or aggressive, she's also more Betazoid in terms of personality. The combination of telepathic and empathic abilities from her parents has made her sensitive to large crowds, which is why she LOVES working in caves with bats away from other people. The combination of the two species' abilities constantly bombarding her and the need to restrain her Vulcan emotions have also resulted in her having ADD (her attention is being pulled in every direction so focusing on other tasks that don't immediately grasp her interest is SUPER difficult for her). However, she's also incredibly kind, difficult to shock or surprise, and very passionate about her work.

Chief of Reptilia: They're a human in their early 50's, a bit reclusive, and VERY unwilling to let people in their lab. They never show up to a meeting without a snake around their neck. The snake might be venomous. No one knows for sure. Whatever the case; everyone on board is pretty sure the reptile division is actually a cult because they never see anyone from that crew outside of the lab decks.

Chief of Aves: She's human, no one knows her age, and she refuses to wear a standard-issue lab coat, opting instead to wear a tie-die coat that reaches the floor. She speaks in riddles and everyone thinks she's crazy, but she's actually incredibly wise and an excellent listener. She specializes in raptors.

Chief of Livestock: Even though it's not technically a taxonomical order, they have a guy who specializes in studying livestock of alien cultures. No one is sure how old he is, or what his species is, for that matter. He has the calm, level-headedness of a Vulcan, but he always wears a hat so no one sees his ears or eyebrows to know for sure. He might just be a Midwestern farmer, because they can be Like That too. Despite working with livestock, he also never gets injured, so not even the doctor knows. Some people speculate that he's not human OR Vulcan, but some other immortal species, like a Q. This mystery is never solved on the show, but everyone really likes this guy.

Chief Exobotanist: Despite the fact that the plants are divided up into other taxonomical species, they all report to one Chief Botanist because the plant department is a lot more efficient and interconnected than the animal departments. Despite this, she's completely overworked and undercaffeinated. However, her workload doesn't stop her from being one of the sweetest and most creative people on board. As to the rest of her character, I defer to @emilie786 , as she is the inspiration for this character!

There are other chiefs who are occasional recurring characters, like the Chief of Aquaculture and the Chief of Amphibians. There are also several junior officers who we get to know a bit that are kind of fun. I'm thinking there's some kind of star-crossed lovers arc going on between someone who works in exobotany and someone who works in exozoology. There's also an overworked head of security who is getting really sick and tired of all the escapee animals he has to track down. I think he might fall in love with the Chief Exobotanist partially because plants don't run away and get into the Jeffries tubes (until they do, of course).

Anyway, if anyone wants to add to this, go for it! I'm open to ideas!

[lorenzobane]

Harebrained Scheme

AN: Written for @trektober-challenge first installment- namely Prime Directive, but more specifically inspired by some of @fractal-baby discussion about Spock’s absolutely insane plans. It was written pretty quick and definitely playing fast and loose with timelines, but set after ST:ID but before ST: Beyond. Can be read as pre-Spirk, but the major relationship is Jim & Sarek chatting. 

Can be found on AO3 here

Being kidnapped and held with his First Officer’s father was never exactly the plan for Jim. There are, in fact, a lot of people Jim would rather be kidnapped with. Namely, the aforementioned First Officer Spock.  

But as it stands-- 

“We have been held here for approximately 2.3 hours,” Sarek says after a moment of silence. 

Jim nods, “don’t panic.” 

Sarek gives him a look that plainly says Vulcans don’t panic. “I am simply stating a fact of our capture.” 

“Yes, sir,” Jim says patiently. “I’m aware of how long it has been.” 

“The temperature is several degrees below Vulcan standard,” Sarek pointed out. 

“I am aware of that as well,” because Jim was. Whoever their enemies were, they knew who they had kidnapped. The temperature is holding steady at a place where Jim is uncomfortable but is draining Sarek. 

Sarek says nothing and continues to observe the cell around them calmly. Jim has been pacing since he woke up about an hour ago. It’s a plain white room with no windows and no doors as far as he can tell. He’s tried clawing at just about every inch of the sterile space, and as far as he can tell, nothing gives. 

“What are the walls made of?” Kirk mutters to himself. They don’t feel like metal or even plastic- they radiate the coolness as if they’re some type of natural product, but the way the room is sealed tells him some kind of technology is involved. 

Sarek cuts into Jim’s thinking with a, “I believe these are made of Betazoid limestone.” 

“What makes you say that?” Jim asks. With Spock, he’ll usually prattle for a few minutes, discussing density and texture before giving him an answer as straightforward as his father. 

Sarek looks at him in surprise, “you are not able to tell?” 

Jim resists the urge to reply with sarcasm. Sarek isn’t Spock, which is plainly apparent in every interaction they have. Though Spock always seems extremely calm and balanced to Jim, being around his father makes Jim aware of how much more emotion and variation Spock regularly expresses. 

“No,” Jim says. “I haven’t spent much time on Betazoid.” 

Sarek nods, “I was briefly an Ambassador there in my son’s youth. He was very fond of the rock and found its cool texture pleasing.” 

“I thought it would be illogical to find a rock pleasing,” Jim replies without thinking. 

Sarek is quiet for a moment before responding with, “yes, indeed it was. However, as my wife put it to me then, there is nothing illogical about curiosity. The desire to explore. I am not sure I agree with her, but I have never been successful in curbing my son of any habit he does not wish to break.” 

“He can be stubborn,” Jim replies with amusement.

A mild understatement if Jim has ever said one. Though he is always respectful and never veers into full-on insubordination, Jim now understands what Pike meant when he referred to Spock fondly as an ‘extremely independent First Officer.’ Jim doesn’t mind it, maybe even loves it- the way Spock is relentless when he is convinced of the correct course of action. The argumentative (logically debated, in Spock’s words) messages and memos coming at all hours until Jim either gives in or says the phrase, “drop it, that’s an order.” 

Which, at the very least, shuts him up for a shift or two. 

“Do you believe they will be able to find us?”

Jim shrugs, his communicator is still on his person, and he tries it every few minutes, but he keeps getting static. “None of my messages are going through, but as you mentioned, your son is very stubborn and an extraordinary Starfleet officer. If anyone could rescue us, it would be him.” 

Sarek nods again, and they sit in silence while Jim continues to search every square inch of space. It doesn’t make sense- unless their captors beamed them into the room, there is no way for them to have entered without a door of any kind. 

“My son,” Sarek says, somewhat awkwardly pulling Jim out of his observation of the walls once more. “How is he-- I mean to say, I recognize as one of the very few Vulcans at Starfleet, and now as an endangered species, it may be challenging for him.”

Jim kindly doesn’t say that Sarek didn’t actually ask a question and responds with, “the crew loves him. He fits in great and has a surprising number of friends. The kids in the Science department all think he’s some type of rock star. The amount of transfer requests I get specifically for his division is getting out of hand.”  

“Rock star?” Sarek repeats back. 

“A term for an old Terran classical musician who was known for extreme popularity,” Jim responds with some curiosity. Spock is exceptionally familiar with Terran classical music and had known precisely what Jim had meant when he used similar phrasing. Still, Jim supposes that perhaps he picked it up in his many years on earth.

“I am gratified to hear this,” Sarek replies, somewhat slowly. Jim jerks up, alarmed, when he realizes that it appears that each blink is getting slower and slower as if he were fighting falling asleep. “He has so few affiliates on Vulcan.”

“Really?” Jim asks, surprised. 

For all Spock can be logical, sarcastic, and moralistic to the point of exhaustion, he’s also a kind friend, a shockingly understanding commanding officer, and a good sport about most things. He even participates in some ship-wide events, like the talent show where he played some genuinely excellent Vulcan lute. 

And purely for Jim’s amusement, played a lute version of a truly ancient Terran classic that Jim has a soft spot for, Wildest Dreams. 

“He… Was an unusually brilliant student,” Sarek says, still slow as if fighting for words. Jim realizes with an urgency that he should probably try to keep Sarek talking to keep him awake. 

“Vulcans didn’t like brilliant students?” Jim asks with amusement. The idea of Spock being a nerd among nerds is somewhat hilarious. 

“No, they did not like an unusually brilliant half-human,” Sarek replies, his voice for the first time that Jim has ever known him touching with a hint of sadness. “And he was… Willful. Unusually brilliant, and ferociously unselfconscious about his mother.” 

Jim laughs a little at that, rubbing his neck unconsciously, “yes, I definitely learned the hard way that you shouldn’t insult his mother.” 

“As did many,” Sarek says, his eyes closed. “He had a violent physical altercation when he was eleven for a similar reason. It was that disrespect of his mother that ultimately caused him to turn away from the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“He didn’t go to VSA because they insulted his mother?” Jim asked, surprised. “Why would they insult Amanda anyway?” 

Sarek takes a sharp breath at the casual use of his wife’s name, and Jim feels terrible. After months of playing chess with Spock, they had begun discussing their childhood and Spock often spoke of his mother glowingly. He had insisted that they use her name to honor her memory. 

“They referred to her blood as a disadvantage. I knew the moment they said it; he would never accept a place that looks down on humans. He could be illogically loyal.” 

“His illogical loyal behavior saved you on Vulcan, and it saved earth,” Jim replies, his voice sharper than he intends it to be. 

Sarek opens his eyes at that, slowly and blearily, “I did not mean that negatively. I have come to find that many of the traits I viewed as… Aberration in him, in his youth, has come to define his tremendous successes.” 

Jim doesn’t say, though he dearly wants to, that viewing his child’s personality as an aberration at any point is pretty illogical. Still, Spock is a subject that Sarek is willing to stay awake and speak about, so Jim asks, “like what?”

“Well,” Sarek says wryly, “his disregard for rules he simply disagrees with. It is, presumably, the reason that he works so well with you and your idiosyncratic leadership style.” 

“I would not say that Spock isn’t interested in the rules,” Jim replies with surprise, the betrayal of Spock’s report after they saved him from a volcano still kind of stings. 

“He follows the rules he believes in avidly, that is true,” Sarek says, his voice does hold amusement now. “But he regularly ignores them if he wishes to. I presume you are referring to his report after the events of Nibiru?”

Jim jerked in surprise, “how did you know--?” 

“My son and I have been keeping close correspondence after the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother. We are attempting to… work through the strain our relationship was put under while I worked through my disappointment that he did not go to the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“Isn’t disappointment illogical too?” Jim asks. It is hard for him to hear the casual way Sarek describes his feelings towards Spock when Jim truly and completely believes that his First Officer is one of the finest beings he has ever encountered. 

Sarek makes a noise of agreement, “you are correct. Vulcans may take a vow to control our emotions, and we certainly may attempt to utilize logic in most decision-making. Still, there is no doubt that our species can be vulnerable to prideful behavior.” 

Jim, having beaten Spock at chess a few times, can attest to that. 

“What did he say about Nibiru?” Jim asks, curious now as to how Spock described the events to his father. 

“I believe,” Sarek says again, his voice rich with amusement now, “that you saw yourself as the rule breaker in this scenario. However, after listening to his entire recounting, I must ask you- whose idea was it to freeze the volcano?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “Spock’s. He had been reviewing the geothermal events on the plant. He calculated the likelihood of explosion was incredibly likely, so he asked if he could try one of his experiments to save the planet.” 

“You realize that the plan itself, from its initial conception, violated the Prime Directive, do you not, Mr. Kirk?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “what?” 

“It is against the Prime Directive to interfere with a planet’s destiny in any way. Then, the matter of his cold fusion device. An entirely novel invention that had gone through no formal testing, no review process… He simply believed it would work, conducted experiments in his free time, and wanted to use it. And had a captain who trusted him.” 

Jim blinks again at Sarek. “But… But…” 

Sarek leaned his head back, “do not feel bad. He was somewhat infamous for this when he was a boy. His capacity to convince his instructors that his personal pet projects were highly logical and beneficial regardless of external forces was… Remarkable. And in you, I think he has finally found a place where his prodigious intellect is not being checked by constant regulation.”

“Spock always follows regulation,” Jim defends on instinct, his mind reeling. 

“He always follows the ones he believes deserve to be followed,” Sarek corrected. “He has always had a somewhat unusual penchant for attempting novel actions without the traditional Vulcan tendency of deep contemplation.” 

Oh, the thought hit Jim suddenly. Spock is a Vulcan bad boy. Jim doesn’t know why he finds that so shocking; Spock does, after all, go along with a majority of his plans and even comes up with half of them. Even more damning, if Spock did not agree with a course of action, it relatively rarely ends up occurring. 

Which means… Spock is actually as goddamn reckless as he is. 

Jim isn’t sure how he feels about this revelation. 

“He... He tricked me!” Jim cries out eventually, unable to contain it. 

“But as I have said,” Sarek adds, his voice is shallow and slow now, “I have come to realize… These qualities, his capacity for creativity, and quick thinking have allowed him to become the most remarkable of us.” 

“I’m glad that you could see what we have always seen,” Jim says, though he’s more using the royal “we.” 

It took him considerably longer to see what was right there in front of him, but once he had, it made sense to Jim that Spock had been a popular professor, First Officer, and Advisor in his time at Starfleet. 

“I was unwilling to admit it, but I was worried when he chose Starfleet. So far from his people, alone and living in an abundance of difference. Vulcans can be quite homogeneous.” 

“Infinite diversity in infinite combinations,” Jim quoted from Spock’s eternal sermons. 

“Ironic that it is a Vulcan philosophy when so many of us view the world so similarly,” Sarek said, inclining his head slightly. “However, in a land of difference, he was able to find a space for himself that he was unable to find with his people. He always did appreciate adventure, read illogical books with his mother like Alice in Wonderland and Sherlock Holmes. Even Shakespeare which his instructors on Vulcan never enjoyed.” 

Jim raised his eyebrows again. Spock often quoted fanciful literary classics in trying situations. Still, it never entirely occurred to him how oddly poetic and even artistic that would have made him in a different place. 

“I hope he knows that I hold him in high regard,” Sarek says after a moment, and his eyes drift shut again, his breathing going slow. 

“No,” Jim leaps up. “No, you can’t. I can not be responsible for the death of two of Spock’s parents.” 

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek says with exhaustion, “do not worry. I can place my body into a healing trance that will allow me to remain stable for an extended period of time if need be. The Betazoid limestone will make us challenging to track and as such--” 

Just then, there is a loud thudding noise on the wall to their right, like something heavy just rammed into it at full speed. 

A thudding again, and then Sarek shudders awake, “Spock?” 

Jim doesn’t hear anything but Sarek does because he turns to Jim and says, “please move 3.87 feet to your left.” 

Three seconds later, a thud outside the wall gives way to what appears to be an ancient wrecking ball. 

“What is that?” 

“I think it is your crew, Captain,” Sarek says. 

Another beat and a large stone crash through the wall using a device that is an ancient Terran wrecking ball. 

“Captain,” Spock said calmly through the hole he just blasted through the wall. “I see you’re unharmed. Father, it is gratifying to see you safe as well.” 

“Glad you got to us in time; we were running out of gossip about you,” Jim says with a smirk as he slowly starts to try to clamber through the slightly too small hole. 

“Please refrain from joking,” Spock says, guiding his father through the hole much more gracefully. 

“Who’s joking?” Jim replies. 

Spock looks to his father with an eyebrow up, and Sarek responds, “while I would not term it “gossip,” the captain is correct, and our mutual affiliation with you helped pass a majority of the time.” 

Jim nearly cackles at the brief look of horror that passed over Spock’s face when he replies with a steady, “indeed.” 

Jim smirks and is silent while Spock focuses on calling the Enterprise to beam up. 

And much later, when Spock asks him what they discussed while Spock and Jim played their usual game of chess, Jim can be entirely honest when he says, “your many admirable qualities.” 

It’s definitely worth the way Spock’s ears turn a light green. 

[drabbles-of-writing]

I Really Don’t Care

This is part of my Beta AU

AO3

Masterpost

… … … … … … … . . . . .

“You spat blood in Amity’s car?”

“Yeah,” Luz took a sip of her thermos that probably had an unholy amount of soda in it. “She kicked me out right after. It’s why she’s been refusing to sit here for the last two days.”

“She has a vintage car, Luz.” Willow pointed out. “I don’t blame her that much for getting upset over it.”

“Then maybe she shouldn’t steal my damn switchblade!” Luz persisted, crossing her arms.

Willow sighed, and Gus just shook his head. Neither of them had the energy or mental capacity to try arguing with Luz today.

It was then that a tray of food was slammed onto the table.

“Speak of the devil,” Willow mumbled.

Amity stood at the table, her hands still gripping the tray. Her head was down, and her hair a bit messier than normal with her ears pressed back.

“No,” Luz said without prompting, grabbing the leg of the empty chair beside her with her foot and pulling it closer to the table. “Go back and sit with the other goths again.”

“Oh shut it,” Amity snapped, raising her head and narrowing her eyes. “Just for today, that is all I’m asking.” She hissed lowly, casting a glance behind her that could almost be seen as...worried.

Willow looked over Amity for a moment before a flash of realization came to her face and she softened sympathetically.

“Boscha?” She asked, flicking an ear.

“...Boscha,” Amity nodded, for once, looking shy and unsure.

Luz’s eyes widened and she and Gus shared a look. Luz slowly pushed the chair back out with her foot.

“Have a seat,” She said, her demeanor having completely changed.

Amity roughly sat down in the offered chair and proceeded to drop her head onto the table with a long, painful groan. 

The three all looked behind Amity. They could see Boscha and her friends talking across the cafeteria, sneering and casting glances over at Amity. Some were snickering while Boscha just looked annoyed and like this was an inconvenience with her.

Luz met Boscha’s gaze for a brief moment. They held gazes for a few seconds before Luz raised a hand and flipped her off.

She only got to savor Boscha’s dramatically offended expression for a few moments before she turned back to the witch hunched over the table.

“Do I want to know what she did this time?” Gus asked, taking a sip of his juice.

“Same old,” Amity grumbled, turning her head to the side so her face was visible. “Thinking that I’m going to be crawling back to her for some indiscernible reason.” She said with a sneer. “And general bitchiness, you know how it is.” She muttered, pointedly not looking at anyone at the table.

“Stay as long as you’d like,” Willow said sympathetically, patting her arm before going back to her lunch.

“So does this mean--”

“I’m still pissed at you,” Amity snapped, not even bothering to raise her head as she pointed a finger at Luz. “And were you not broke I’d make you pay to have the seat cleaned.”

“You're so sweet,” Luz rolled her eyes. “You already steal my jacket, why the hell would you ever want my switchblade?”

“Please don’t fight at the table, please don’t fight at the table,” Gus started whispering under his breath.

Amity glared at Luz for a few moments. She raised her head and held her cheek in her hand before turning her head away. She stared across the cafeteria at Boscha, who had her back turned once more and was sneering about something that probably involved the ‘loser’ table.

“I…” Amity gritted her teeth and glanced back at Luz for a moment before glaring at the table beneath her. “I wanted to key Boscha’s car…”

“Boscha has a car?” Luz blinked. “Not like, some personal uber or lamborghini? Like an actual car?”

“Of course she does!” Amity huffed. “She’s got like, some vulcan or whatever. What I do know is that it's expensive and that's the important part.”

“You stole Luz’s switchblade just to key Boscha’s car?” Willow raised a brow. “May I ask...why?”

“Because I don’t want to ruin anything of my own,” Amity said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Also human switchblades are a bit different from witches so if they ever got detectives involved it would be traced back to Luz and not me.”

“And all my admiration has been lost.” Luz sagged, narrowing her eyes.

“What did Boscha do to make you want to key her car?” Gus raised a brow. “I mean, I know you hate her, but you usually just ignore her. What changed?”

Amity pointedly looked away and back down at her tray, for once, with no snarky comeback. Luz met the eyes of her friends at the table as Amity sighed and crossed both her arms on the table in front of her.

“Nothing,” She said, picking at her tray’s peas. “Just thought she could use a bit of karma.”

“Ignoring the fact that was the worst lie I’ve ever seen you try and pull off,” Luz said calmly, earning a bitter glare from the green-haired witch. “You know you could’ve just asked, right?” She said, raising a plastic fork and pointing it at Amity.

“Come again?” Amity lifted a brow, as though she expected this to be a lame joke.

“I hate Boscha almost as much as you,” Luz reminded. “And I know a dozen different ways to destroy a car beyond belief. You could’ve just asked and not only would I have given you my switchblade, but I would’ve grabbed a bat and joined you.” She said, like this was common knowledge.

Amity blinked, surprised. She waited for a few moments as though expecting Luz to start laughing and saying it was a joke, but she didn’t. So instead the side of her mouth curved up slightly in a ghost of a smile.

“A dozen ways, huh?” She said in a sickly sweet tone, leaning forward slightly. “Do tell,”

“Oh, so now you want my help.” Luz scoffed, though she was also smiling like she was about to pull off the heist of the year. “I’ll tell you later, when there aren’t witnesses.” She said, glancing at her friends.

“Why in the world would we tell anyone?” Willow demanded, slightly offended.

“You wouldn’t,” Luz pointed her fork towards Willow. “But I don’t want to give you any ideas, you're sadistic. And he,” She lazily gestured towards Gus. “Is awful at keeping a secret when interrogated.”

“Hey!” Gus protested. “I’ve got reporter blood in my veins! I can’t just keep the secrets from the public when asked.”

“My point has been made,” Luz said calmly, turning back to Amity. “Where does Boscha live, by any chance?”

“Am I going to regret telling you?” Amity asked, as if she wouldn’t tell her anyway.

“Not if you want Boscha’s life to become a living hell, your not.”

,

“I can’t believe you actually brought your bat,”

Luz grinned and swung said red bat over her shoulder, shutting the door to her used Saturn car, or whatever the brand was. She didn’t bother remembering, it was a piece of junk anyway. Amity waited at a gate at the end of a driveway, impatiently tapping her foot.

“I was never one to make empty promises,” She said, stopping beside the witch and looking up the driveway.

It was long, and led to a ridiculously large mansion. There were three cars in the driveway. Two in front of the garage, and one closer to the gate. That one was the vulcan.

“Are you sure this is a witch neighborhood?” Luz asked, laying her bat across her shoulders and draping her arms overtop of it. “Looks more like any plain rich neighborhood to me.”

“It’s both,” Amity said, grabbing one of the bars of the gate. “My house is a little ways up there,” She said, gesturing back down the street where Luz had come from.

“You mean the one that had a sign that said Blight on the gates? Gee, I couldn’t tell.” Luz rolled her eyes. “You ready to ruin Boscha’s day or what?”

Amity just sighed and gripped the gate with both hands. She dug a foot in between them and heaved herself over the gate, barely bothering to be careful when going over the spikes at the top before dropping down on the other side.

Luz glanced at her bat and took it off her shoulders, squinting as she held it up and determined that no, it would not fit through the bars of the gate.

“We don’t have all night, Luz.” Amity said, crossing her arms.

“Relax, I got this.” Luz assured her. “You may want to keep a heads up, though.”

With that, Luz pulled her arm back and chucked her bat over the gate. Amity didn’t even move as it clattered to the ground next to her. Though she did glance at it in surprise when she heard a metal clang. She hadn’t realized the bat wasn’t wooden.

Luz then grabbed onto the gate and scaled it with similar expertise to Amity. However, she got a little too cocky when trying to get over the spikes and attempted a sort of jump over them. She mistimed how she would land and her foot got caught momentarily between the spikes and she jerked dowards.

Amity winced as Luz ungracefully fell down on the other side of the gate, hitting the pavement with a thud and a pained moan.

In her fall, multiple small plastic containers had fallen out of endless pockets in her jacket and pants. Amity, instead of offering a hand to Luz, picked up a container and inspected it.

There were white grains inside it, nearly filled to the brim. Amity narrowed her eyes and looked down at Luz, who was sitting up and rubbing the back of her head.

“Do I wanna know what's in these?” Amity asked.

“It’s not cocaine,” Luz said simply, getting on her knees as she gathered the fallen containers.

“Wh--” Amity shook her head. “Luz what have you gotten into that you’d need to say that?”

“People always seem to assume the worst with me,” Luz shrugged, shoving the containers in her pockets and standing up, taking the container from Amity. “It’s sugar. I was gonna bring a whole bag, but I’m lazy and those are heavy.”

“So instead you shoved sugar into a bunch of containers?” Amity raised a brow as Luz scooped up her bat in her other hand and leaned it against her shoulder. “That seems like a bit more work to me.”

“I was never known for my intelligence,” Luz shrugged, slowly walking up the driveway to the car as she looked it over, whistling. “She really got a pretty one, huh?”

“She used to have some like, I don’t know, sergio. Something else expensive. She totaled it a few weeks ago and her dad got her a new one,” Amity explained, stopping in front of the car's hood and sneering at it.

“Ooo, a daddy’s girl, I see.” Luz chuckled. “Out of curiosity,” She added, glancing towards the mansion further up the driveway. “Is that daddy going to be coming out here with a shotgun once he hears us committing multiple crimes?”

“Never say daddy ever again,” Amity shuttered, recoiling. “And no, her dad practically lives across the country. Boscha and her mom sleep like the dead and take forever to wake up, and none of their servants are paid enough to come out and stop us.” She said, looking over the car with slitted, predatory eyes.

“Once we start wrecking it, I’d say we have a good amount of time before we gotta scram.”

“Fantastic,” Luz grinned, setting her bat down and leaning it against the side of the car. “Now, before we start absolutely destroying this hunk of metal, let's start with making sure this thing will never drive again.”

With that, she set down the container of sugar on the hood of the car and pulled her beanie off of her head, revealing her switchblade underneath. She picked it up and turned it over with a mischievous grin.

“Why...why would you ever put a switchblade there?” Amity demanded confusedly.

“I ran out of pockets that didn’t have sugar in them,” Luz said simply. “Hold this,” She said, chucking her beanie at the witch.

Amity fumbled to catch the beanie, muttering protests. Luz crouched by one of the front tires and ran a hand through her hair, brushing it out of her face as she frowned at the tires.

Amity stared at her for a few moments before shaking her head and shoving Luz’s beanie in the pocket of her jeans with a bit more force than necessary.

“What's the point of slashing the tires if you already brought a bat?” Amity huffed, gesturing towards said object. “It's not like Boscha would ever drive a car that got wrecked to all hell.”

“It's the principle of the matter,” Luz said simply, unsheathing her blade and looking back up to Amity with a righteous look. “Slashing all the tires before wrecking it sends a very aggressive message, if you ask me.” She said.

With that, she jabbed the blade into the tire. 

And nothing happened.

Luz grumbled and began repeatedly stabbing her blade into the rubber, and on the fifth stab, finally made enough of a hole that the tire started wheezing and deflating. Luz nodded in satisfaction and stood up, turning to Amity. Before seeing the laugh she was trying to hide.

“What? These are tough tires!” Luz defended.

“I appreciate the dramatics, Noceda,” Amity said, walking up to Luz and casually plucking the blade from her hand. “But I think I’ve got this.”

“By all means,” Luz said, stepping away and raising her hands. “Can I at least pour the sugar in the tank?”

“The hell would that do?” Amity asked, stopping by a back tire and raising a brow.

“Messes up the engine beyond all belief,” Luz said, picking up the container left on the hood and opening the gas tank. “I know Boscha would never drive this again, but as I said before, it's the principle of the matter. Were this a simple instance of property damage, she’d either have to replace the entire engine or just get a new car.”

“Why do you know the weirdest things?” Amity questioned, flipping the blade and jabbing it into the tire before pulling back to repeat the process.

“I have a lot of time on my hands,” Luz shrugged, popping open the lid of the container.

With that, the two went to work. Luz poured container after container of sugar into the gas tank as Amity slashed up all four tires, and certainly more than necessary.

“Witches don’t use fingerprints to find people, right?” Luz asked, glancing up as she dumped more sugar into the tank.

“Now that would be smart,” Amity agreed, poking her head up on the other side of the car. “But most witches would rather get burned at the stake, again, than do anything the human way.” She sighed with an eyeroll.

“Oracles, then?” Luz said, tossing the container behind her.

“Oracles can only look into the future, not the past.” Amity reminded her. “I do know of some witches that can do that, but they can only do it with certain objects, and it's very nitpicky. So long we don’t like, sign our names or whatever, we’ll probably be fine. Plus, I’m rich, so I could get you out of almost all trouble.”

“How king of you,” Luz stuck out her tongue and popped the lid of what must’ve been her ninth plastic container of sugar. “The joys of capitalism strike once ag--”

The sound of a loud, shrieky scraping noise cut Luz off. Luz stiffened and winced, somehow resisting the urge to cover her ears.

“Amity,” Luz said when the noise stopped. “What the hell--”

The screeching started up again and Luz yelped and covered her ears this time, shutting her eyes. It stopped almost immediately and Luz could hear the witch snickering. She opened her eyes and glared over the car, where Amity was poking her head up over it with a mischievous look.

“You are really dead set on keying her car, aren’t you?” Luz grumbled, rubbing at her ear.

“It brings me joy to ruin things with sharp objects. You of all people should know that,” Amity shrugged, leaning on the hood of the small car and crossing her arms, one hand still obviously holding Luz’s switchblade. She flashed a wide, cocky grin that showed off each and every oversized fang she possessed. 

Luz had to mentally repeat the endless mantra of ‘don’t look at it’ as she played it off as rolling her eyes like she was disinterested. 

“You're an ass, you know that, Blight?” Luz grumbled, digging through her pockets for any sugar she might have missed.

“Eh, Boscha stayed around so I could be worse,” Amity said, muttering as she narrowed her eyes and stepped back to inspect the damage she did to the car.

“To be fair, I’m fairly certain Boscha is a masochist. And a sadist,” Luz added, climbing onto the hood of the car and sitting on the edge of it, also looking over Amity’s work. The whole side had a long line scratched into it, plus a few more random jabs here and there that looked far more aggressive.

Amity giggled and closed Luz’s switchblade, tossing it back to the human. Luz caught it with little difficulty, placing it in one of her jackets pockets. She thought for a moment before leaning back where she was seated.

“...so was there a specific reason you wanted to do this tonight or--”

“Don’t test me, Noceda.” Amity growled, shooting the girl a glare with lips curled back, exposing fangs in a far less playful way than before.

“Just curious,” Luz said, raising her hands and getting off the hood of the car.

She walked back around the car and kicked aside random empty containers. She grabbed her bat and lifted it up in a small show-off to Amity. The witch raised a brow as Luz set it down on the hood of the car with a metal clink.

She patted her pockets for a few minutes before pulling out a bunch of crumpled pieces of paper. Upon smoothing them out, it was clear they were fire glyphs as Luz pulled out a stick of glue from her waistband.

“I think you went overboard with the sugar if you need to physically cram in those,” Amity said, leaning against the side of the car and crossing her arms.

“Hey, don’t you diss my methods.” Luz said, pointing a finger at Amity before going back to poorly gluing her glyphs to her bat. “I brought out not only one of my only metal bats, but an un-dented metal bat.” She said matter-of-factly. “I got the good kush.”

“It's a bat you own, how good could it be?” Amity sneered.

Luz giggled uncontrollably for a few moments, confusing Amity. But after a few moments and a head shake Luz went back to gluing on the glyphs.

“I will never understand you,” Amity mumbled, her eyes lazily wandering over the bat. “How many of those do you have, anyway?”

“Counting this? Five,” Luz said, shoving a glyph against the bat after it started to peel off, barely missing activating it. “I have one other metal bat, but it's pretty dented. The other three are wooden. I’ve broken two before this,” She added.

“Was it on someone's face?” Amity inquired.

“First one was,”

“Hell yeah,” Amity grinned, walking up beside Luz as she finished (terribly) gluing the glyphs onto the bat and lifting it up.

“Alright,” Luz said, turning the bat over and looking at Amity. “Are you prepared to run for the hills when that mansion door opens? Because this is gonna be loud.”

“I’m running for your car,” Amity said bluntly. “I’m not running on foot like this is some high school party being raided by the cops.”

“You agreed to go to that one,” Luz muttered quietly. “And how the hell are you expecting to get out of here without the keys?”

“You literally have your car unlocked and left the keys on the dash,” Amity said, pointing with her thumb back towards the gate. “Yes, I paid attention.” She said, silencing Luz as she opened her mouth to retort.

Luz shut her mouth with a glare, meeting Amity’s gleeful expression. She just sighed and thrust out the bat to Amity with a tired look.

“Whatever, but if you take off without me with no good reason I will graffiti your house.”

Amity would have replied to that, she really would’ve, but she was too busy blinking confusedly at the bat being held in front of her.

Luz, catching onto her confusion, just shoved the bat into Amity’s arms so she was forced to stumble and take hold of it.

“This is your ex’s car,” Luz reminded her, putting a hand on her hip. “What, you don’t wanna do the honors of the first hit?”

A look of realization came to Amity’s face, then that of malicious glee. She held onto the handle of the bat and looked it over, glancing up at Luz with a sadistic smile.

“I would love to,” She purred, legitimately. And the sound of an actual purr coming from Amity in a moment like this sent chills up Luz’s spine.

Luz gestured to the vulcan dramatically, stepping back with a righteous look.

Amity stepped forward, standing before the car with a fire in her eyes as she raised the bat above her head. 

And with barely a moment's hesitation, Amity swung the bat right through the windshield.

,

The sound of glass shattering along with a loud alarm going off at the same time was not a pleasant sound. Amity panicked for a moment, knowing that Boscha or her mother would wake up far faster with the car alarm blaring.

Luz acted faster than Amity thought was physically possible of her. She took the bat from Amity and broke the side window of the car, reaching her hand inside and unlocking the door and pulling it open. She then swung her bat into the dashboard of the car, setting off many of her bats fire glyphs.

In moments, the dashboard was lit ablaze, as was the inside of the car. Luz hit the dashboard a few more times before the car alarm sputtered out into nothing.

And all that remained was the crackling of the fire eating away at the leather seats.

“There,” Luz panted, wiping her brow with the back of her hand, sweating with the effort and the heat of the flames springing up. “You better hurry up,” She said to Amity as she tossed the bat over to her. “They’ll wake up pretty soon.”

Amity, who had not been staring thank you very much, clumsily grabbed with the bat before shaking her head and setting her jaw. She nodded before taking a step back and slamming the bat against the hood of the car with a loud crack.

Luz gave a tired cheer as she whipped out a few more fire glyphs and slapped them on the back of the car, tapping them before quickly stepping back as flames engulfed it. She was beginning to think the sugar in the gas tank had been a bit pointless.

As this was going on, she could hear the sounds of metal being smashed and beaten on the other end of the vulcan.

Pretty quickly, Luz started to see lights coming from the mansion as the inhabitants woke up. And she knew they only had a few minutes before someone came out to see what was going on.

“Hey, Amity, we gotta…”

Luz trailed off as she peered around the car, the words dying on her tongue.

The front of the car was crushed to all hell, like it’d been run into a concrete wall at full speed. The dashboard, while on fire, was also beaten nearly to the floor. The roof looked no better. Were you to sit in the car, you’d have to hunch over in the front seat to avoid banging your head on it. And Amity was still beating in the roof repeatedly, with no signs of stopping.

The fire in her eyes was almost literal now, with the flames of the car reflected in them. Her pupils were narrowed into slits, and she was bearing a near-snarl, fangs exposed like a wild animal. She looked almost crazy with fury.

For as long as Luz had known (and subsequently annoyed) Amity, never once had she seen the witch look so intent on what could only be described as murder.

The sound of a distant shout snapped Luz out of her trance.

She whirled around, seeing that a window was open and some witch was leaning out, shouting loudly at them to stay where they were. She could see figures move through the windows, towards the front door.

“Alright, funs over!” Luz yelped, running around the side of the car.

Amity had paused in her battery to take deep, panting breaths. She looked up at Luz’s voice, like she had forgotten the human was there.

Luz grabbed Amity’s wrist and tugged her along towards the gate, full-on sprinting at this point. Amity shook off whatever had possessed her and ran alongside Luz, only stopping when they made it to the gate. She chucked the bat over the gate with no regard for what it might hit on the other side as Luz was already halfway up it.

There was a loud explosion and a shake, startling Luz into falling off the top of the gate and roughly hitting the ground. She and Amity glanced back for only a moment to see that the front of the car had imploded in on itself, and the fire was engulfing nearly the whole thing.

Luz didn’t wait around to stare. She ran into the street where her car was lazily parked. She slid over the hood of her car as the sounds of more shouting started up from not only the mansion, but a few of the surrounding buildings.

She looked back right as Amity hit the ground. She grabbed Luz’s bat and ran for the car.

Luz jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the door shut just as Amity opened the passenger's side door and tossed her bat in the back and hopped in.

Amity hadn’t even shut the door before Luz grabbed her keys, turned on the ignition, and floored it.

Luz whooped and cheered as the car sped away, tires screeching as she sharply turned a corner on the road. Amity was hissing and snapping something she couldn’t comprehend, gripping her seat so tightly that her claws had unsheathed and pierced the foam.

Luz was too busy laughing with the thrill of their escape, her head thrown back without a care in the world, not like anyone would be on the road at this hour.

And after a few moments, Amity was laughing too. Luz had to resist the urge to roll down the window to holler to the neighborhood like she was in some coming of age high school movie.

It took a while of aimlessly breaking the speed limit, but the two eventually started to calm. Their shouting turned to quiet laughs as Luz let up on the gas pedal, finally driving at a regular speed as they cruised back towards the main road. And all of a sudden, it felt like a perfect night to commit crimes such as these.

,

Amity was the first to break the settling silence.

“Here’s your hat back, dumbass.” She said, digging into her pockets and pulling out Luz’s beanie, throwing it at the human.

“Oh, so you can steal my jacket all the time, but the beanie is off-limits?” Luz snarked, taking one hand off the steering wheel to grab her hat and clumsily place it back on her head.

“Please, you’d kill for that beanie,” Amity huffed, crossing her arms with a smile and leaning back in her seat.

“Not as violently as you’d beat up a car, I bet.” Luz teased, glancing over at her. “I would’ve thought that thing had spit in your face and called you a dog from the sight of ya,”

“Be lucky it was the car I smashed and not your face,” Amity gave as a mock-threat, though it felt half-hearted.

Luz looked back over to Amity, who’s previous glee and energy had deflated slightly. And normally Luz never would’ve noticed. But when you somehow manage to catch Amity Blight being that thrilled about something, one tends to notice when it starts to fall.

“Or Boscha’s face,” Luz said, attempting to maintain casualty. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get away with curb-stomping her some day. Probably in a vigilante outfit.”

“I wish,” Amity muttered quietly, glaring out her door's window. She didn’t even bother to retort to Luz’s small jab.

And there was that dreaded awkward silence.

Luz scrunched up her face and lightly tapped her finger on the steering wheel, lost in thought. She almost laughed at how focused she was on trying to ‘logically’ work this all out. Asking Amity what was up would get her a punch to the face or make the whole situation worse, trying to subtly slide it in would never work, and bluntly bringing up how reserved Amity seemed would give her anything but a positive reaction.

She eventually resigned to saying out the first idea that came to her before she could do something overly stupid.

“I know how to make a plant bomb,” She blurted.

Amity blinked, slowly turning around from her brooding to give Luz an incredulous look. Luz puffed up her cheeks before exhaling and already accepting this was a terrible idea from the start.

“For, for Boscha’s locker.” Luz stuttered. “Willow taught me how to...to make a plant bomb with glyphs. Boscha would open her locker and the whole thing would be covered in vines. Takes forever to burn away, and she could end up burning nearly everything in her locker in the process.” She explained, a bit too quickly to be normal.

Amity paused, squinting out the windshield in consideration. Luz was about to slam the gas pedal again just to have something else to focus on.

“You know what, I don’t wanna know why Willow knows this.” Amity said finally, shaking her head. “And how would you even put it in Boscha’s locker? You don’t know how to get it open.”

“I found out if you shove things into the lockers mouths when they aren’t paying attention, you can get a decent amount in and out before they try biting off your hand.” Luz said simply, finally starting to relax.

“...Titan, how come every time I see you do something stupid, you’ve done five dumber things when I’m not around?” Amity demanded, giving Luz the most exhausted, yet still utterly confused expression.

“Do you want me to spring-trap Boscha’s locker or not?” Luz asked, raising a brow at Amity.

“Yes, obviously,” Amity rolled her eyes. “But I want to circle back on you almost getting your hand bitten off by a locker.”

“Nope, too bad, new conversation now.” Luz said, sticking out her tongue and giving Amity a smug look, turning onto the main road where they were finally among other cars. 

Amity glared at Luz, obviously about to snap back before just slumping her shoulders and giving up. She leaned back against the seat and kicked her feet up on the dash, like a degenerate.

“I still don’t think I’ll ever understand you,” She mumbled.

“What's so hard to understand? I like breaking shit,” Luz shrugged with a grin. “Especially if it's for sweet, sweet retribution.”

“No, I,” Amity groaned and dragged a hand down her face. “For the love of the Titan, why do you care?”

Luz startled at that. She gripped the steering wheel tighter as she blinked at Amity’s reflection in the windshield.

“What?”

“This isn’t just about what happened today, it's just in general.” Amity waved a hand in the air. “You patch me up after we fight, you fight with me when someone else starts trouble, you let me sit at your table, you invite me places, and you help me destroy my ex-girlfriend's car.” She counted off her fingers.

“And for what?” She demanded, facing Luz. “I know we’ve got a whole ‘frenemy’ thing going on, but that’s sure as hell not how it started.” 

“You want me to be an ass to you?” Luz huffed. “Contrary to popular belief, I like to sometimes try to be nice.”

“So, what, you help me because you just feel like being nice?” Amity questioned, almost accusingly. 

“No, I just,” Luz scrunched up her nose and squinted her eyes, choosing her words carefully. “Do you…” 

A lightbulb went off in her head.

“You remember how whenever I mention I started a fight with someone, you get jealous?” She said.

“Wha--I--I do not!” Amity cried, growling when she saw Luz snicker.

“Fine, fine, I’ll let you have this one,” Luz said with a smirk. “But the point is, you don’t like it. And that one time you decided to beat the hell out of Matt after he decided to start shit with me.” She added.

“Can you get on with your point?” Amity hissed.

“It’s the same thing with me,” Luz said bluntly, and Amity went still. “Well, more or less. At first I never quite understood why you cared when I got beat down by someone else, after all, I bet that would’ve been something you laughed at.” She admitted, keeping her eyes on the road.

“But I think I get it.” Luz said earnestly, appearing lost in thought for a moment. “Yeah, you can absolutely handle yourself and I have no doubt you could’ve wrecked Boscha’s car on your own,” She said with a bit of a head tilt. “But you're my fight-buddy, or whatever you call it.” Luz added quickly with an awkward cough.

“So I take a little offence to someone deciding they can be an ass to ya. That’s my job,” She teased, finally looking over at Amity. “If that makes sense.” She said, sounding just a little shy.

Amity met her eyes for those brief few moments, surprised. And the way it seemed to stretch out endlessly wasn’t doing much for Luz’s nerves. Christ, when the hell did she get so nervous about something like this?

Luz turned back to the road before she could panic about it further, deciding she should probably work more on not getting them in a car crash. She subconsciously was aware of her heading back towards the rich witch neighborhood, deciding it’d been enough time to be safe to stop by real quick.

“Oh,” Amity said simply, also turning to stare off through the windshield.

The silence seemed to stretch out into eternity, but was probably only a few moments before Amity sat up properly and turned her head to stare out her passenger side window. She looked resigned before deflating.

“Boscha was being extra clingy,” She said, and Luz instantly knew she was talking about earlier that day. “And when she’s being clingy, she gets personal.”

“Ah,” Luz cringed, already imagining what Boscha could’ve guilt-tripped Amity with. “Yeah, I’d wanna cause property damage, too.”

“It wasn’t just that,” Amity said, holding her cheek in her hand as she continued to stare out the window. “Boscha knows personal things, and I don’t mean just relationship wise. Say what you will about her intelligence, but she can get to insecurities fast.”

Luz glanced at Amity then, a frown beginning to form.

“But then again, when one dates Boscha for nearly a year, I suppose I can’t be surprised.” She grumbled, looking down. “Or maybe I’m just easy to read, who knows. I’ll never ask.” She said with such fake carelessness Luz would’ve thought she was being sarcastic.

Luz hesitated briefly before taking a hand off the steering wheel and lightly brushed Amity’s arm, a question. Amity glanced back and didn’t react. So Luz gently grabbed her arm, just a bit above her wrist, and gave a light squeeze.

“Whatever, point is,” Amity sighed, taking her eyes off the window to look anywhere but Luz. “I guess it just...added up or something. I dunno, this one just got to me more and I wanted revenge for...all of it, I suppose.” She mumbled.

“Yeah, I’ve had that,” Luz gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Mostly for dickhead kids I used to know at my old school. Willow has also agreed to help me with that one.”

“Well damn, sign me up.” Amity said, finally looking at her. “I have a sudden, unending urge to beat up a bunch of humans that aren’t you for once.”

“Join the club,” Luz teased, giving a small smile. “But for the record, I am still all about beating the shit out of Boscha. She doesn’t even have to do anything I’m still down to make her suffer.”

“Noted,” Amity chuckled, her shoulders relaxing as she heavily slumped down in her seat. “Also, if you tell anyone about this conversation I will gut you like a fish and throw your body in a ravine.” She calmly said, like an afterthought.

“There’s my old Amity,” Luz grinned, squeezing her arm again. “And were you not rich, I could have so much blackmail on you.”

“Oh you would not believe the number of people who’ve tried that.” Amity said, her gaze lingering on Luz’s hand on her arm for a few moments.

“I can guess,” Luz said, her car approaching the rich neighborhood. “It’s why me and Gus have a mutual understanding. We both have blackmail on each other, so we keep our mouths shut and nobody has to kno--shit!”

Luz suddenly slammed on the breaks, reminding both of them that they had neglected to put on their seatbelts. Amity had to brace herself against the dashboard to avoid breaking her nose on it from the whiplash. Luz’s hand quickly left Amity’s arm to grasp at the steering wheel.

Cop cars came blaring right in front of the car, turning into the neighborhood with lights flashing. Both girls were stiff as a board as two cop cars drove by, slowly fading out of sight but the sound of the sirens still persisting in the background.

The girls glanced at each other with similar expressions of shock and fear.

“I thought witches didn’t call the regular police…” Luz said slowly, peering through her windshield down the street, though the cop cars were long gone from sight.

“We don’t,” Amity said just as slowly. “Which means either some witch joined the police force, someone decided to be an ass, or Boscha suspects it was you…”

“Well thanks for the confidence boost!” Luz exclaimed, slapping a hand against the steering wheel in annoyance. “Steve is a great guy and all, but he cannot save me from that mess!”

“I can bail you out,” Amity waved her hand, beginning to calm down.

“I’m going to have a criminal history,” Luz groaned, thunking her head against the steering wheel.

“I’m rich, I’ll bribe them.” Amity said with a shrug, patting Luz’s back. 

“That’ll work, but it's still tacky,” Luz muffled.

“Never stopped me before,”

“Shut up and get out of my car,” Luz grumbled, sitting up. “You can make it to your own house from here.”

“Very polite of you,” Amity sneered, opening the car door and slipping out, leaning against the frame above the car door and peering in. “I’m still going to hold you to that locker bomb promise.”

“Now that's going to be a delight,” Luz agreed. “It's not even a favor at this point, I’d do that for free.”

“And that's what I like about you,” Amity said, flashing a sharp smile before stepping back. “Later, Luz.”

With that, she shut the door and started down the sidewalk turning into the neighborhood. One hand was holding and rubbing where Luz’s hand had previously been on her arm.

Luz chuckled as she noticed that. It took a few more seconds before she processed Amity’s parting words and froze, mulling them over in her head for a few moments.

And that's what I like about you.

Christ almighty.

Luz thunked her head right back down on the steering wheel, resisting the urge to make a serious of concerning wheezing-screaming noises. She knew damn well her car wasn’t put together enough to muffle that. If she woke up with no bruises on her head, it’d be a blessing

She leaned back and slouched against her seat, seeing that Amity had now vanished from sight around the corner to her neighborhood. She pressed her hands to her face and groaned quietly.

She needed to get thicker skin, this was starting to get ridiculous.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

for the ship headcanon meme: star trek pairing of choice, #16-#20?

Bet you thought I forgot about this ask meme, fuckers!  And you’re right, I did, but the beauty of forgetting is that sometimes you remember.  Anyway, as always, it’s Michael/Saru Hours, lads.

16) When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

This is not a headcanon, but I have this fragment of a fic idea in my head based on this question, and that fragment of a fic idea is like...some kind of case fic where Discovery finds a planet being ravaged by Basically A Zombie Apocalypse and Michael and Saru get stranded there.  Ideally, for my personal enjoyment, I would want to slot it into the plot of s1 as early as possible, because the best/worst dynamic there would be Michael choking with guilt and yet still one of the finest scientific minds in Star Fleet, and Saru unable to keep himself from pressing on the fresh bruise of loss, unable to trust her, and the two of them still working together flawlessly.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it?  Even when they can’t stand each other, they argue like a choreographed dance, and when the chips are down and they have to think on their feet, they still move like Georgiou’s trusted right and left hands.

Anyway.  That, but make it zombies.

17) When they find a time machine, where do they go?

If Michael came into possession of a time machine that actually allowed her to reliably control where she went and let her come back, I think she would sit down and try to do the temporal math to figure out how to avert the war.  I do not, however, believe that Michael and Saru, survivors of a fair amount of timeline hopping already, would actually risk going back in time.  I think they would both talk about wanting to go back, specifically because they know the other will talk them out of it, but I don’t think they would do it.

That being said, I would love a lotus eater prison AU where Michael and Saru are trapped in an idyllic dream of a world where the Shenzhou was never destroyed, Michael was being prepared to be promoted off the ship as a captain, and Saru was preparing to take her place, ft a lot of sadness about Georgiou and Michael and Saru working together to find a way to wake up.

18) When they fight, how do they make up?

Michael wears Raised On Vulcan tattooed on her face, sometimes, and especially when she defensive or guilty--if she’s angry with Saru, she’ll tell him exactly what she thinks he’s doing wrong, to his face, and it takes her a long time to learn that she should pull that punch a little more with people she cares about.  On the upside, that means that, when she feels like she’s been out of line and unnecessarily harsh, she’ll walk right up to Saru and tell him, blunt as anything, what she did, why she thinks it was wrong, and that she understands if he’s angry with her.  

This was initially…a weird experience for Saru on several levels, if he’s being honest.  A lot of his experience with people is colored heavily by the fact that very few people know how to deal with Kelpiens, and that means that he’s either handled like glass or he puts in the work to be treated like any of the other crew members. He’s not really sure how to deal with someone who handles him with exactly the same unemotional ruthlessness as everyone else, and it’s disorienting, and it makes him angry that it’s disorienting, because that’s what he wants, but also, Michael is sometimes an asshole.  She’s the first person that he’s ever argued with on the regular—really argued, a push and counterpush, shoving each other away from the science console and pulling out ad hominem attacks in a way that visibly infuriates Michael’s Vulcan training.  But quite frankly, they never felt like they needed to apologize for those early fights, under Georgiou.  It was part of the ship dynamic, to have Burnham and Saru trying to take strips off each other in a very professional and scientific manner.  As long as Saru never took a cheap shot over Michael’s upbringing and Michael resisted the impulse to go full xenoanthropologist on Saru’s species, they were very good at fighting.

(Personally I am of the belief that Michael only tried to pull the I understand where you’re coming from because of what your species makes you after the mutiny, after she was trying to be nice.  Before then, she expected Saru to perform to her standards and fuck the details.  Half the reason he’s so coldly furious with her over it is because he knows she’s trying to manipulate him, because if she wasn’t, she would never play that card, because no matter how nasty their fights were, she always fought with him as a person, not as a Kelpien.)

19) Where do they go on their first date?

There’s a fic that bounces around my brain every time I watch Discovery, and it’s about Michael and Saru having a first date (sort of) very late at night, when they’re both having trouble sleeping.  It’s not an arranged date, they’re not even really friends even though they’ve gotten past the stage of Michael letting Saru flay her alive for her guilt, but Michael is having trouble sleeping and she’s not a prisoner anymore, so she wanders, and Saru, frankly, sleeps like hypervigilant garbage since the Binary Stars, so he has a preferred hiding spot on one of Discovery’s few observation decks.  As Lorca likes to point out, they’re not a goddamn pleasure cruiser, but Star Fleet never built a ship without at least one view panel, not even their top-secret war machine.

Michael is avoiding people—she hates being asked why she’s awake, gets tangled up in her automatic shame over not being able to control her emotions.  It’s the middle of the “night” by ship standards, but Discovery seethes with activity around the clock, especially since Stamets pulls regular all-nighters when he gets really entranced and often has to be peeled away from his work by Local Exasperated Doctor Hugh Culber.  So she ducks into the parts of the ship that she usually doesn’t go, the places that are more for socializing and are empty at this hour, the places that aren’t often used, the places that are quiet.

She finds the observation deck dim and blessedly silent, with the stars spreading infinitely outside.  The room is faintly lit by the nebula off to the starboard bow, the one they’re using to hide their signature while they run some necessary repairs.  It’s a practical use, but it’s also beautiful, every window in the ship glowing with warm reds and golds, and Michael still finds the stars soothing after all this time, and so she drifts up to the glass with the vague plan of sitting down and spending an hour or two there in an attempt at meditation.  She only sees Saru, leaning back against the edge of the viewing window, when she’s close enough to nearly trip over one of his long legs, stretched out in front of him.

Michael, of course, apologizes, and turns to leave.  Saru never really does have a good answer, as to why he stops her.  But he doesn’t ask any questions about why she’s awake and she doesn’t ask any questions about what he’s doing here, and instead they sit in relative quiet for a while before Saru sits up straighter and offers Michael, again, a small bowl of fruit. It’s not familiar to her, this time, but he says it won’t hurt her, that it’s sort of like a lychee, and she believes him.  It leaves a bit of thin red juice on her fingers when she bites into the first one, and he recommends eating them whole to avoid it while she ruefully sucks the juice off her thumb.  It’s good—less sweet than she expected.  Saru settles next to her in the middle of the window and sets the bowl between them, and she asks how he always manages to have fresh fruit, and he admits that he can wring a lot more out of the replicators since he never gets meat. Somehow it turns into—talking.

Michael is startled to realize, around the hour mark of murmured conversation, that she might have literally never just talked to Saru before. It’s—nice.

(Because I’m physiologically incapable of letting things be nice, if I wrote this fic there would be an immediate sequel of Observation Deck Chats Redux, featuring them doing basically the same thing but after Michael gets back from the Mirrorverse.  Michael leans against Saru’s shoulder in a way that she would never, if she hadn’t been awake with nightmares and grief for pushing three days, and she tells him about the Empire like she’s confessing her sins, and they talk quietly about the ghost haunting their ship in the shape of Empress Philippa Georgiou. It’s not nice, but not for lack of kindness.)

20) Where do they go on holiday?

I think Saru and Michael would have two very distinct kinds of “holiday” and they have two destinations accordingly.

The first kind of holiday is Nerd Holiday, in which they find an unexplored planet and appoint themselves to the away team—everyone else on the away team is wryly aware that they are, essentially, third-wheeling a date, but Discovery has watched this whole situation unfold and honestly the popular opinion is that it would actually be easier to deal with a little bit of PDA than the current Very Professional Mutual Adoration Show.  Local Red Shirt Absolutely Agonized By The Very Correct Ten Inches Of Space Between Her Captain And First Officer, Reports As They Come.  Michael and Saru are pleasantly unaware of this and are having a great time arguing over whether they need another sample of that plant if it’s just a different color.

The second kind of holiday is actual fucking shore leave.  They both prefer planets or stations with a large variety of species—Saru is uneasy with being the center of attention among strangers, and since he stands head and shoulders above a decent percentage of the Federation, it’s hard to avoid unless they’re in mixed company; Michael never quite recovered from the perpetual sense of disjoint when it comes to being around all humans or all Vulcans, so being in a place where everyone is different makes her feel less out of place.  Neither of them like big crowds, so they’re the tourists who immediately leave the usual Tourist Area and find somewhere else to be, which has its ups and downs.  The first time they get into trouble on a totally safe colony planet because they decided to go exploring, there’s a beat of them looking at each other and silently agreeing that they won’t be telling the crew about this, because there’s already a running ship joke about what trouble magnets they are and they do NOT need to feed anyone more material.

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 28: 3x01 Spock’s Brain

Today’s ep was the infamous Spock’s Brain. I’d never seen it before and always insisted I didn’t want to but...this is a complete rewatch so I guess I kinda had to.

As predicted, it was bad. Utter nonsense for a premise and the actual execution shot through with sexism. There were some aspects that I did like but most of them have been done better by other eps--and in any case were not worth the ridiculous basis of the ep itself. Honestly, if I were watching all this live, and I waited months for this, I might have wondered if the show weren’t better off cancelled.

But I would have been wrong because the next ep is The Enterprise Incident so! Sometimes you just need to be patient.

This episode is starting out so strangely. Why is the bridge being shot from all these weird angles? And why do the colors seem...duller?

They really can spy on these other ships, huh?

“My name is Captain James Kirk.” Not breaking out the middle initial today, I see.

Chapel going for the drama as she falls down.

Kirk too, sprawled over his chair. (Makes me think of “The chair is, in fact, not bolted to the ground.”)

This honestly reads like a bad parody of Star Trek.

Ridiculous lines include: “His brain is gone.” “His incredible Vulcan physique.” “In search of his brain.” “Where are you going to look for his brain?” “It was taken out, it can be put back in.”

“Spock’s body is more dependent on his brain” than a human’s. Ummmm I feel like there’s something suspicious in there.

The only good thing about this ep is Kirk’s devotion to Spock.

Seriously why does the bridge look so different? Filming it from a different location changes everything.

When Kirk paces in front of the view screen, it really shows off how small it is.

“The spaceship that has Spock’s brain.”

I like these schematics and Chekov’s little presentation here. Also Kirk can automatically put years to all the planet evolution codes or whatever--like on the one hand, of course he can, that’s his job, but on another... what a nerd.

Honestly these people--obviously, they are underground on the ice planet. Obviously!!! I actually do appreciate this scene in general, with the bridge crew working out a problem on the bridge, which actually almost never happens--it’s definitely the best scene of the ep--but still. It’s obviously the ice planet.

Also, I like that Uhura gets to contribute. She thinks outside of the box, asks the good questions. Don’t just look at the outside evolution of the planet--ask about what the brain could be used for, and where it might be.

“Get there, find the brain.”

Oh no, he accidentally called Scotty Spock :(

“High of 40. Livable.” I realize this is a Russian joke but that’s really not that bad lol. Definitely not an ice age anymore.

“They give pain and delight.” So they’re dominatrixes?

“You are small.” Well no need to be mean about it.

Don’t you have a companion?? Love that that’s one of their synonyms for “spouse” or “partner.”

The alien men look like they’re wearing short jean skirts.

“A dead and buried city on a planet in a glacial age.” That’s a good idea. Could have done something better with that.

Chekov’s still stuck on the no women thing, I think.

Why did they dress Spock in a leftover outfit from This Side of Paradise?

McCoy and his stimulants again, waking up the alien lady after they stunned her. Multi-purpose.

“I know nothing about a brain.” Clearly.

So all the women live below ground, and all the men live above...

Ah-ha, they have found Spock’s voice.

“There is a definite pleasurable experience connected with the hearing of your voice.” This ep is almost worth it for that line.

Also Kirk’s face when he hears Spock’s voice.

I like that Spock is still funny. Honestly he’s probably funnier disembodied. This is a very humorous Spock characterization. “That is a practical idea. It seems unlikely that I shall be able to get to you.”

WHAT IS BRAIN.

They’re being quite sexist, aren’t they? “No engineering geniuses here. Only women. None of these women could ever have done surgery on Spock’s brain.” Like I know it’s that they’re obviously (or supposedly obviously) naive and childlike but like combining that with the sex segregated society and the actual phrasing of these lines (WOMEN?? Engineers?? Doctors??) plus Kirk assuming the Controller is a man (who says?) all creates this like definite sexist vibe while watching. Ugh make it stop.

How can Spock’s brain control everything? They’ve only had it for 5 minutes.

“Mistress.” I told you they were dominatrixes.

Oh yeah Captain Sulu!!

More sexist quotes: “What a way to maintain control over a man.” “I’ve certainly noticed their delightful aspects.” Please stop talking; you’re digging yourselves in a deeper hole.

(Seriously though--I feel like the unspoken world building fact here is that the women need the men for procreation specifically, which is why they capture the men, and then control them--using the “pain belts”--to have sex--the “pleasure.” They probably also use them for other labor, given the presence of the male guards and the line “they won’t help us if we don’t control them” or whatever it was. But surely the delightfulness of the women is more than their physical appearance, is what I’m saying.)

What is the commentary on gender here? Women = scary, dumb, and hot?

Yeah, how DOES Spock’s brain fit into this?

Lol at Spock’s empty body calmly watching them all fighting.

“Science will triumph.” A real lost opportunity in the AOS-verse to have Kirk say this after a bar brawl.

“You are a disembodied brain.” I feel like there’s a (McCoy) joke in here about how he’s reached his ideal state.

His body is the building. (I was right, I totally called this plot point as soon as Spock started talking about his incredibly large body and how his brain was still doing things like regulating oxygen. I must say... this is not a bad idea, except for the brain stealing part. Like there’s something in there, the idea of the complex as a body, powered by a brain. Idk.)

So basically Spock is taking another opportunity to insult Bones’ medical skills. Oh Spock, never change.

I feel like Bones is enjoying his Spock puppet, on some level.

“Pain bands.”

Use the Spock puppet, Kirk! Use it to fight the lady alien!

“The controller is young and powerful, perfect.” / “How very flattering.” LOL I can’t believe this is real.

“You took his brain. You will put it back.”

So the alien lady puts on the spiky helmet and now she’s suddenly smart. I hate thissssssssssss.

(I actually do think the idea of old knowledge stored outside of the... brains...of the current generation, for their own protection, as decided by the paternalist elders... is not itself a bad concept. Of course it’s also a concept that other eps did better, like The Apple or For the World is Hollow or even Return of the Archons. Again, combining it with all the gross things they said about women earlier just leaves a bad taste. Even though--even though!!--we don’t know who the elder people were. Like, was this a matriarchal society that saved the women in the underground because they were better? Or was it a patriarchal society that put the women in the underground because they were considered weak and in need of protection? I rather assumed the second, but I think there’s some evidence for the first, in particular, that the story reeks of Sexualized Male Fear. What’s a better combination of hot and scary than a matriarchy of women in short skirts?)

“Got your gun.” (But the other way around.)

“Our need for the Controller is more important than your need for your friend.” That sounds an awful lot like “The needs of the many outweigh needs of the one” and we all know what Kirk thinks about that. That said, he’s really not...engaging with her facially fair argument at all.

“No one may kill a man. Not for any purpose. It cannot be condoned.”

Love Scotty’s acting skills. Gotta get this gun back really fast--create a diversion by fainting! But not too much!

I do love McCoy. He’s an adventurer too. He pretends he’s not but he jumps at the chance to discover and learn. He will not hesitate to put himself in danger if it’s for the common good or to protect his friends.

“Put the teacher on.”

Now finally Kirk is engaging with the fate of the society he’s encountered lol. Like, again, he’s not wrong; they’ve stagnated under the computer/controller and it’s not moral to steal from someone else to keep your comfortable and boring life going when you could just do the work yourself, but coming this late, it feels like an afterthought. It’s also weird that she just like stood by and let them take Spock and his brain after all that to do about...not letting them have the brain. Like at the end of the day she was not so inept. Also, they never explained what happens to all the knowledge in the teacher. One would assume they’d have to access it--or not? They’re just to start from scratch? Also legit I guess. And finally... all I can really hear, in the emphasis on integrating with the men again, is “You’ll learn how to develop a society naturally and also about heterosexual sex wink wink.” (Except that as I said... I think they know about that.)

I see McCoy’s regretting that “child’s play” talk now.

“Give priority to reconnecting Spock’s vocal cords.” Yep that’s how the brain works for sure.

Wow Spock really does have to do everything himself. Including operate on himself.

“This Vulcan is telling me how to operate.”

How did he operate without...opening Spock’s skull... in any way??

Not to question the verisimilitude of Spock’s Brain lol.

Everyone’s being so rude--Spock is providing valuable last minute exposition/explanation about this weird-ass society!

It’s always odd when they don’t return to the bridge. Like, they’re not going to collect Chekov?

That was... something.

I liked a few things: any excuse for Kirk to be devoted to Spock; the humor Spock showed; I liked the bridge scene where they looked at the map of the planets; and I liked certain things about the premise of the episode, although, like I said, most of the general aspects (post-disaster society, reliance on computers, etc.) had been done better in other episodes. I liked the look into the Male Brain lol.

What I didn’t like was how outright ridiculous the basic catalyzing event was--Spock’s brain has been literally stolen like??? Are you kidding me? That led to a considerable amount of dialogue that read like a Star Trek parody. Did not like that. And of course, as I said... the sexism. I think I’ve unpacked that enough. It didn’t need to be sexist, and you can explain it in a way that’s not, but the vibe sure was. It was like... well a lot of TOS is like this imo. You can give it an A (or at least a B) for effort, but what comes out is so obviously tainted by the sexism of the creators. Like, for example, how they say they believe in women who are just as capable and professional as men, but struggle to show it. This ep wanted to show a matriarchal society but it wasn’t really a matriarchal society--it was a Freudian dream that was all about the male psyche and what it most fears and wants.

All that said.. the next ep is a D.C. Fontana creation featuring one of my favorite TOS Ladies, the Female Romulan Commander, so I will be receiving a consolation prize.

Also the AOS verse is still more sexist and doesn’t have an excuse I said what I said.

[green-blooded]

So, I want to talk about Bread and Circuses. Or, I want to talk about Spock and McCoy in Bread and Circuses... plus the rest of the first half of the second season, because this episode isn’t actually good aside from the Spock and McCoy moments.

We start with this:

SPOCK: Fascinating. This atmosphere is remarkably similar to your twentieth century. Moderately industrialized pollution containing substantial amounts of carbon monoxide and partially consumed hydrocarbons. MCCOY: The word was smog. SPOCK: Yes, I believe that was the term. I had no idea you were that much of a historian, Doctor. MCCOY: I am not, Mister Spock. I was simply trying to stop you from giving us a whole lecture on the subject. Jim, is there anything at all we know about this planet?

(This post got long--nearly 4000 words???--so here’s a cut to save your dashboard!)

Which is kind of an odd argument for them? McCoy gets on Spock for a lot of things, but not usually for talking too much. In fact, it’s usually the reverse. In Trouble with Tribbles (the previous episode by production order), they have this exchange:

MCCOY: Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there's one thing that I have discovered. SPOCK: What is that, Doctor? MCCOY: I like them better than I like you. SPOCK: Doctor? MCCOY: Yes? SPOCK: They do have one redeeming characteristic. MCCOY: What's that? SPOCK: They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir.

Far be it from me to accuse Star Trek of having continuity, but don’t these arguments seem related? In fact, both of these episodes have had particularly heated arguments between Spock and McCoy for no apparent reason in the plot. There are also a few heated exchanges in The Deadly Years (about Spock’s health, and then Kirk’s dementia).

Put a pin in this. Let’s return to Bread and Circuses.

MCCOY: Odd that these people should worship the sun. SPOCK: Why, Doctor? MCCOY: Because, my dear Mister Spock, it is illogical. Rome had no sun worshipers. Why should they parallel Rome in every way except one?

Let’s just ignore the fact that yes Rome did have sun worshipers and that there have been a hell of a lot more than one discrepancy, because if we talk about inaccuracies we’ll be here all day. The point is, they’re both postulating about this odd ‘parallel’ Earth, but McCoy’s interjection seems to annoy Spock for some reason... To the point that he brings it up again later, but in the meantime, they also have this exchange:

SPOCK: Even more fascinating. Slavery evolving into an institution with guaranteed medical payments, old-age pensions. MCCOY: Quite logical, I'd say, Mister Spock. Just as it's logical that twentieth-century Rome would use television to show its gladiator contests or name a new car the Jupiter Eight. SPOCK: Doctor, if I were able to show emotion, your new infatuation with that term would begin to annoy me. MCCOY: What term? Logic? Medical men are trained in logic, Mister Spock. SPOCK: Really, Doctor, I had no idea they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.

Hey guys, remember an episode called Amok Time (only 9 episodes earlier in production order instead of a whole season apart), where McCoy said this:

MCCOY: My orders were to give you a thorough physical. In case you hadn't noticed, I have to answer to the same commanding officer that you do. Come on, Spock. Yield to the logic of the situation.

And it, y'know, worked to convince Spock to listen to him that time. BUT let's also look at I, Mudd where they have one of those curiously heated arguments again:

MCCOY: All right. There's something wrong about a man who never smiles, whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won't talk about his background. SPOCK: I see. MCCOY: Spock, I mean that it's odd for a non-Vulcan. The ears make all the difference. SPOCK: I find your argument strewn with gaping defects in logic. MCCOY: Maybe, but you can't evaluate a man by logic alone. Besides, he has avoided two appointments that I've made for his physical exam without reason. SPOCK: That's not at all surprising, Doctor. He's probably terrified of your beads and rattles.

(Notice, McCoy realizes he’s offended Spock and immediately tries to fix it, but Spock remains annoyed with him.)

A couple of things here. First, like in Trouble with Tribbles (the next episode), Spock seems actually offended by McCoy. This was almost entirely absent from the first season, and not particularly prevalent in the first few episodes of the second season. There was plenty of banter and teasing before, but Spock seems more sensitive to it in this middle section of the second season. Then, again, McCoy brings up logic. McCoy argues that logic can't be the only means to evaluate a person. Then, Spock insults McCoy's medical skills. AGAIN, this is a newer development that makes it into almost every episode in the middle of the second season, including I, Mudd, Trouble with Tribbles, and Bread and Circuses. All back-to-back episodes in production order! 

So we have some things repeating in their arguments over multiple episodes. McCoy's interpretation of logic, Spock being offended by McCoy's teasing/insults, and Spock insulting McCoy's skill as a doctor. PUT A PIN IN IT. Returning to Bread and Circuses again. 

MERIK: There's been no war here for over four hundred years, Jim. Could, let's say, your land of that same era make that same boast? I think you can see why they don't want to have their stability contaminated by dangerous ideas of other ways and other places. SPOCK: Interesting, and given a conservative empire, quite understandable. MCCOY: Are you out of your head? SPOCK: I said I understood it, Doctor. I find the checks and balances of this civilization quite illuminating. MCCOY: Next he'll be telling us he prefers it over Earth history. SPOCK: They do seem to have escaped the carnage of your first three world wars, Doctor. MCCOY: They have slavery, gladiatorial games, despotism. SPOCK: Situations quite familiar to the six million who died in your first world war, the eleven million who died in your second, the thirty seven million who died in your third. Shall I go on?

I think this is one of the better exchanges that speak to the themes of this episode, which they should’ve elaborated on but instead went the Jesus Saves route... Whatever. The important thing is that this is another example of their philosophical differences AND very similar to an argument they had in The Apple a few episodes ago.

SPOCK: In my view, a splendid example of reciprocity. MCCOY: It would take a computerized Vulcan mind such as yours to make that kind of a statement. SPOCK: Doctor, you insist on applying human standards to non-human cultures. I remind you that humans are only a tiny minority in this galaxy. MCCOY: There are certain absolutes, Mister Spock, and one of them is the right of humanoids to a free and unchained environment, the right to have conditions which permit growth. SPOCK: Another is their right to choose a system which seems to work for them. MCCOY: Jim, you're not just going to stand by and be blinded to what's going on here. These are humanoids, intelligent. They need to advance and grow. Don't you understand what my readings indicate? There's been no progress here in at least ten thousand years. This isn't life. It's stagnation. SPOCK: Doctor, these people are healthy and they are happy. What ever you choose to call it, this system works, despite your emotional reaction to it. MCCOY: It might work for you, Mister Spock, but it doesn't work for me. Humanoids living so they can service a hunk of tin.

It’s super interesting to me that Spock is using relativistic contract theory to judge these cultures while McCoy is just a straight up anarchist, let’s be real. He hates hierarchical structures and authority figures, and believes that they go against human nature. Which you might say is weird for a Starfleet officer, but he also yells at people above his rank constantly and gets really upset in episodes like The Doomsday Machine when Spock refuses to ignore rank. He’s in Starfleet because he wants to help people, but I can’t imagine him staying if his captain weren’t someone he totally trusts. I mean, you could forget that McCoy has any rank at all with the way he carries himself. Meanwhile, Spock is Very, Very strict in his understanding of hierarchy and rank.

This is one of those deep divisions between the two of them. Put a pin in it. Let’s move on to the gladiator fight.

SPOCK: Need any help, Doctor? MCCOY: Whatever gave you that idea? ACHILLES: Fight, you pointed-ear freak! MCCOY: You tell him, buster. Of all the completely ridiculous, illogical questions I ever heard in my life!

The fact that McCoy is not a fighter is really brought out in this episode, and I have a lot to say about it in another post. The main thing here is McCoy bringing up logic again and agreeing with an argument that is, in my opinon, a step beyond something that McCoy would actually say. He makes fun of the ears, but freak is a little far, I think.

And all of this leads to the Big Scene in the prison, which I will break into parts. Part #1:

MCCOY: Angry, Mister Spock, or frustrated, perhaps? SPOCK: Such emotions are foreign to me, Doctor. I'm merely testing the strength of the door. MCCOY: For the fifteenth time...

McCoy is lightly teasing Spock for being more emotional than he lets on, while Spock denies having any emotion at all... this is a pretty typical part of the exchange. What really makes it work is Deforest Kelly's delivery. He says these lines with a degree of affection. He's not yelling, and he's not even using the tone he usually has when teasing Spock. In this moment, you can see that McCoy points out Spock's incongruous moments of emotion because he likes that about him. While it sometimes comes across as a 'gotcha' moment (like at the end of The Galileo Seven), the sheer number of times McCoy mentions Spock's emotions shows more than just a passing amount of interest in them.

Then, McCoy continues:

MCCOY: Spock, I know we've had our disagreements. Maybe they're jokes. I don't know. As Jim says, we're not often sure ourselves sometimes, but what I'm trying to say is-- SPOCK: Doctor, I am seeking a means of escape. Will you please be brief? MCCOY: Well, what I'm trying to say is you saved my life in the arena. SPOCK: Yes, that's quite true. MCCOY: I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!

Before I talk about this, I need to take a moment. I think that McCoy often gets painted at someone with his heart on his sleeve, who feels a lot and expresses all of his feelings. And it's just not true! He's very expressive when it comes to some things, sure. He can yell all day about how much he cares about people in general, but when it comes to expressing how much he cares about an individual? It's pretty damn rare. Look at his words AND his body language in Balance of Terror when he has a vulnerable moment with Kirk.

KIRK: I look around that Bridge, and I see the men waiting for me to make the next move. And Bones, what if I'm wrong? MCCOY: Captain, I-- KIRK: No, I don't really expect an answer. MCCOY: But I've got one. Something I seldom say to a customer, Jim. In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don't destroy the one named Kirk.

McCoy himself says here that he doesn't usually say this kind of thing, and if you look at the series, that bears out. He does NOT find it easy to tell people he cares about them, and when he does, he does it in this abstract way, barely able to make any eye contact. This is AGAIN why the conflict between Spock and McCoy is NOT logic vs. emotion. McCoy is not fully emotional, and he doesn't find emotion easy to express. I would argue that he has almost as much difficulty expressing his feelings for another person as Spock does. I would also argue that McCoy does not LIKE this about himself, and that is part of why it frustrates him so much when he sees it in Spock. 

 So, when he tries to be vulnerable and thank Spock, first of all, he doesn't just say "Hey, thanks for saving me in the arena." He starts with a lot of waffle, and when Spock interrupts him and insists that he keep it short (again, callback to the arguments in this episode and Trouble with Tribbles about which one of them talks too much), McCoy tries to simply thank him, but gets upset when Spock is still impassive and reverts to his usual way of talking to Spock. One remark from Spock, and McCoy loses his ability to be vulnerable and resorts to a sharp tone and insults. Leading into part three of this conversation: 

SPOCK: Oh, yes. You humans have that emotional need to express gratitude. You're welcome, I believe, is the correct response. However, Doctor, you must remember I am entirely motivated by logic. The loss of our ship's surgeon, whatever I think of his skill, would mean a reduction in the efficiency of the Enterprise and therefore-- MCCOY: Do you know why you're not afraid to die, Spock? You're more afraid of living. Each day you stay alive is just one more day you might slip and let your human half peek out. That's it, isn't it? Insecurity. Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling. SPOCK: Really, Doctor? MCCOY: I know. I'm worried about Jim, too.

The last bit is powerful, and I think generally something people remember more than the rest of the conversation, but I really need to focus on that first exchange first, because there is a LOT going on, and I've been pinning things through this whole overly long post for this moment.

PIN 1: Their arguments have become more heated in the middle portion of season 2.

This is a very clear example of that. McCoy doesn't drop the issue after the insult and Spock insists he wouldn't have saved McCoy if he weren't logically useful to the ship. Ouch.

PIN 2: The repetition in these heated arguments. McCoy's view of logic, Spock getting offended, Spock insulting McCoy's skill as a doctor.

What Spock says here brings up all three of those issues. Spock has been frustrated by McCoy bringing up logic throughout this episode, and now he's shooting back at him with a logical view of why he saved McCoy's life--while still maintaining that he doesn't think McCoy is a good doctor. McCoy's been using logic against him, and now Spock is returning the favor. Spock understands Human interaction better than this! Something as simple as a "thank you" and "your welcome" is everyday for him, not only on the Enterprise but with one of the people who RAISED him. He is exaggerating his own non-Human qualities throughout this conversation to a truly absurd extent, because McCoy has repeatedly offended him for several episodes. However, McCoy seems unaware that his usual teasing has actually gotten under Spock's skin, because he has been surprised, again and again (especially in I, Mudd where he chases after Spock to apologize to him) when Spock actually acts hurt by him.

And then there's McCoy's response.

It's not "damn your Vulcan logic" or ending the conversation. He grabs Spock and forces him to look at him--which Spock has been avoiding throughout the conversation--and tells Spock that he's so afraid to be human that he doesn't fear death, because that would put an end to the fear that his Human side would show.

IF WE ARE ONLY LOOKING AT THIS ONE EPISODE, this doesn't make sense. This didn't build from the conversations in Bread and Circuses, which is why I keep bringing up several different episodes and why I'm insisting on production order.

PIN 3: These two have deep, deep philosophical differences that they are constantly discussing.

As I said in another post, Spock and McCoy have a different standard for morality which causes the two of them to butt heads a whole lot. In the first season, it was pretty much the same argument over and over again (should we risk a larger number of people to save a smaller number of people), but it's been evolving in this season to the discussion of freedom and cultural differences and more.

If these two men did not have any respect for one another, I don't think these arguments would continue. Yes, they work together, but they don't actually need to interact as much as they do, and they are VERY often seeing walking into a scene on the bridge together or walking down a corridor together, etc. It's not just missions. They choose to spend time together.

So, when Spock says he only saved McCoy because he's useful as the ship's surgeon, McCoy doesn't respond to THAT, because 1) he knows he's a good doctor and never seems fazed by Spock insulting him about that and 2) he knows Spock is not being honest with him here.

This is one of the reasons why I think McCoy gets frustrated with Spock because they have a similar difficulty showing how much they care about other people, and they have an especially difficult time showing affection toward one another.

While the ending of Operation: Annihilate! where McCoy tells Kirk not to tell Spock he called him the best first officer in the fleet is memorable, it's hardly the most vulnerable moment for McCoy in that episode. No, it's when he thinks he's blinded Spock because he didn't consider using the non-visible parts of the light spectrum to kill the parasitic aliens. McCoy can't even say for himself the deep guilt he's feeling about harming Spock--he never says that he's blaming himself. It's Kirk who tells him he's not at fault, and McCoy can't even bring himself to respond. If you look at those last lines about Spock being the best first officer in the fleet in context of how devastated McCoy was when he thought he'd blinded Spock permanently, it definitely hits different, right?

And then there are the times in the first season when Spock believes McCoy is badly hurt or dead. In Miri, Shore Leave, and City on the Edge of Forever, Spock has a strong reaction to seeing McCoy injured, but he does not verbalize this obvious emotional reaction at any time.

They don't know how to say that they care about each other, because that's something they both struggle with in general. They also both struggle with being emotionally vulnerable and allowing other people to know them on a deeper level. Spock uses his Vulcan otherness to keep people at a distance, while McCoy uses a the charm offensive of his "bedside manner" as his defense system.

So, McCoy says this thing about Spock not being afraid to die because he's so terrified of his Human side coming out IN DIRECT RESPONSE to Spock being unable to even look at him when McCoy is not only trying to thank him for saving his life but ALSO putting it into the context of how difficult their friendship is and how rarely they show any straight-forward affection for each other. And the most telling thing is, McCoy didn't seem to know for sure that he was right until he sees Spock’s reaction. Look at his expression when Spock turns away from him.

And look at his intensity when he says that Spock wouldn't know what to do with a "genuine warm, decent feeling."

When Spock turns to him and says "Really, Doctor?"

THAT is when McCoy is the one who breaks eye contact and changes the subject to someone that they both feel affection for, but who isn't in the room to hear it. I understand that there are other readings of this moment, and that's fine, but... I don't think this has to do with Kirk specifically. For one thing, it never comes up in the episode when they are reunited with Kirk, and for another Kirk is in the least danger out of the three of them. Instead, this moment is about how both of them struggle so deeply with showing affection when someone's right there in front of them.

By the end of the episode, we can see the two of them spending time together again, apparently by choice, and seeming very comfortable with each other... and the next episode is Journey to Babel, in which they are very friendly again with The Immunity Syndrome only four episodes after that, and the episodes in between showing them with much less contentious banter again.

Dare I say it, but I think this is a legitimate arc! And it's a shame that most people see the episodes in broadcast order, because it makes their relationship much more incoherent and makes this little escalation of frustration with each other more random and may make it seem like they genuinely dislike each other.

Anyway... this was. Not supposed to be such a long post, but I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about these two, and I can't help myself sometimes.

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek Villains Who Actually Had a Point

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This article contains spoilers for various parts of the Star Trek franchise.

Last fall, airing just a few weeks apart, both Star Trek and Star Wars debuted season premieres of new streaming TV episodes in which the heroes of each show had to fight a giant, legless worm-monster. In Star Trek: Discovery’s “That Hope Is You Part 1,” it was the deadly Tranceworm, while The Mandalorian’s “Chapter 9: The Marshall” had the murderous Krayt Dragon. The differences between the Final Frontier and the Faraway Galaxy could not have been made clearer by these dueling beasts: in Mando, the plot involved killing the monster by blowing up its guts from the inside, while in Disco, Book taught Michael Burnham how to make friends with it.

The Trek universe deals with the concept of evil a little differently than many of its famous genre competitors. There is no Lex Luthor of the Federation. Palpatine doesn’t haunt the planet Vulcan. The Klingons have no concept of “the devil.” (At least in The Original Series.) This isn’t to say Trek doesn’t have some very memorable Big Bads, it’s just that most of the time those villains tend to have some kind of sympathetic backstory. Even in the J.J. Abrams films! 

So, with that in mind, here’s a look at seven Star Trek villains who maybe weren’t all bad, and kind of, even in a twisted way, had a point…

Harry Mudd

In Star Trek: The Original Series, Harry Mudd was presented as a straight-up con-man, a dude who seemed to be okay with profiting from prostitution (in “Mudd’s Women”) and was also down with marooning the entire crew of the Enterprise on a random planet (in “I, Mudd”). He’s not a good person. Not even close. But, he does make a pretty could case against Starfleet’s lack of planning. In the Discovery episode “Choose Your Pain,” Mudd accuses Starfleet of starting the war with the Klingons, and, as a result, putting the larger population of the galaxy at risk. “I sure as hell understand why the Klingons pushed back,” Mudd tells Ash Tyler. “Starfleet arrogance. Have you ever bothered to look out of your spaceships down at the little guys below? If you had, you’d realize that there’s a lot more of us down there than there are you up here, and we’re sick and tired of getting caught in your crossfire.”

Seska

At a glance, Seska seems pretty irredeemable. She joins the idealistic Maquis but is secretly a Cardassian spy. Once in the Delta Quadrant, she tries to screw Voyager as much as possible, mostly by hooking up with the Kazon. That said, Seska is also someone caught up in hopelessly sexist, male-dominated power structures and does what she has to do to gain freedom and power. The Cardassian military isn’t exactly enlightened nor kind, so the fact that Seska was recruited into the Obsidian Order in the first place certainly explains her deceptive conditioning. You could argue that Seska could have become a better person once she had Captain Janeway as an ally, but, the truth is, she was still a spy caught behind enemy lines, but suddenly without a government to report back to. So, Seska did what she had to do to survive, even lying to Chakotay about having his child. The thing is, again, outside of Starfleet, Seska is at the mercy of the sexist machinations of the Kazon, so again, she’s kind of using all the tools at her disposal to gain freedom. Had Voyager not gone to the Delta Quadrant, and Seska’s villainy may have been more clear-cut. But, once the reason for her espionage becomes moot, her situation gets more desperate, and, on some level, more understandable. 

Charlie Evans

In The Original Series, Kirk loves telling humans with god-like powers where to shove it. In “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” he phasers Gary Mitchell and buries him under a rock. But, in “Charlie X,” when teenager Charlie Evans also gets psionic powers, Kirk does a less-than-a-great job of being a good role model. For most of the episode, Kirk tries to avoid become Charlies’ surrogate parent, and when he does try, it results in an embarrassing overly macho wrestling match featuring those famous pink tights.

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Charlie was a deeply troubled human being, and there was no justification for him harassing the crew and Janice Rand in specific. But, angry, kids like Charlie have to be helped before it gets to this point. Kirk mostly tried to dodge the adult responsibility of teaching Charlie the ropes, and only when some friendly aliens arrived, did everyone breathe a sigh of relief. But, don’t get it twisted, those aliens are basically just social workers, doing the hard work Starfleet is incapable of.

The Borg Queen

Because the origin of the Borg Queen has dubious canonical origins, all we were told in Voyager is that she was assimilated as a child, just like Seven of Nine. As Hugh and Jean-Luc discuss in the Picard episode “The Impossible Box,” basically, everyone assimilated by the Borg, is, on some level, a victim. The Queen was never presented this way in either First Contact or Voyager, but, at one point, writers Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens had pitched a story for Enterprise which would have featured Alice Krige as a Starfleet medical technician who made contact with the Borg.

Because both Alice Krige and Susanna Thompson played the Borg Queen, it’s possible the backstories of each Queen is different and that maybe they aren’t the same character. Either way, assuming the Borg Queen retains some level of autonomy relative to other drones (likely?) then she’s pretty much making the best of a bad situation. In fact, at the point at which you concede the Borg are unstoppable, the Queen’s desire to let Picard retain some degree of his independence as Locutus could scan as a kind of mercy. The Borg Queen actually thinks she and the Borg are making things simpler for everyone. And with both Data and Picard, she tried to make that transition easier and, in her own perverse way, fun too.

Ossyra

Yes, we saw Ossyra feed her nephew to a Trance worm, and we also saw her try to kill literally everyone on the USS Discovery, including Michael Burnham. However, in the middle of all of that, Ossyra did try to actively make peace between the Emerald Chain and the Federation. And, most tellingly, it was her idea. Ossyra also pointed out one of the most hypocritical things about the United Federation of Planets: the fact that Starfleet and its government rely on capitalism without actively acknowledging it. Essentially, Ossyra was saying that the ideals of the Federation are great, but the Federation has all kinds of dirty little secrets it doesn’t want to talk about. In her meeting with Admiral Vance, pretty much everything she said about the Federation was true—and her treaty proposal was fair. 

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The only snag: she wouldn’t turn herself over as a war criminal. Considering the fact that the Federation made Mirror Georgiou into a Section 31 agent, despite her war crimes in another universe, this also seems hypocritical.  Why not just do the same thing with Ossyra? Tell everyone she’s going to prison for war crimes, but make her a Section 31 agent instead? Missed opportunity! 

Khan

Khan was genetically engineered by wacko-a-doodle scientists at the end of the 21st Century. At some point on Earth, he became a “prince” with “power over millions.” But, as Kirk notes in “Space Seed,” there were “no massacres” under Khan’s rule, and described him as the “best of the tyrants.” Kirk’s take on Khan in “Space Seed” is basically that Khan was an ethical megalomaniac. Most of what we see in “Space Seed” backs this up. Khan doesn’t actually want to kill the crew, and stops short of doing it when he thinks he can coerce them instead. His only focus is to gain freedom for himself and his exiled fellow-Augments. In the Kelvin Universe timeline, Khan’s motivations are similar. Into Darkness shows us a version of Khan who, again, is only cooperating with Section 31 because he wants freedom for his people. Sure, he’ll crush some skulls and crash some starships to get to that point, but in his dueling origin stories, Khan is, in both cases interested in freedom for his people, who, are by any definition, totally persecuted by the Federation.

Khan is still a criminal in any century. But, we only really think of him as a villain because he goes insane in between the “Space Seed” and The Wrath of Khan. The Khan of The Wrath is not the same person we met in “Space Seed.” As he tells Chekov, “Admiral Kirk never bothered to check on our progress.” Had Kirk sent a Starfleet ship to drop in on Khan and his “family” every once in awhile this whole thing could have been avoided. In the prime timeline, Khan goes nuts because Ceti Alpha VI explodes and nobody cares. In the Kelvin timeline, Admiral Marcus blackmails him. Considering that Khan is Star Trek’s most famous villain, it’s fascinating that there are a million different ways you can imagine him never getting as bad as he became. In “Space Seed,” he and Kirk basically part as friends. 

Q

In “Encounter at Farpoint,” Q accuses humanity of being “a savage child race.” And walks Jean-Luc Picard through the various atrocities committed by humanity, through the 21st Century. Picard kind of shrugs his shoulders and says, “we are what we are and we’re doing the best that we can.” When we talk about the philosophy of Star Trek, we tend to give more weight to Picard’s argument: the idea that by the 24th century, humanity has become much better, in general than it is now. But, the other side of the argument; that there’s a history of unspeakable violence and cruelty baked into the existence of humanity, is given less weight. We don’t really listen to Q when he’s putting humanity on trial, because we can’t see his point of view.

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But, because Q wasn’t a one-off character, and because he said “the trial never ends” in the TNG finale, he’s actually not really a villain at all. Q exists post-morality, as we can imagine it. His notions of ethics are far more complex (or less complex) than we can perceive. Q is one of those great Star Trek characters who is actually beyond reproach simply because we have no frame of reference for his experiences or point of view. In Voyager, we also learned that even among other members of the Q Continuum, Q was kinder, with a more humanitarian approach to what he might call “lesser” lifeforms. If Q is villainous, it’s because of our definitions of villainy. Of every Star Trek antagonist, Q is the best one, for the simple fact that he’s not a a villain at all. 

Which Star Trek villains do you think had a point? Let us know in the comments below.

The post Star Trek Villains Who Actually Had a Point appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[songbookff]

For @nuschapel ... something a little domestic. 

Sarek/Amanda after learning that Spock has chosen to teach at Starfleet Academy. Takes place in the AOS timeline...probably. Not too worried about details in this one. I’ve never really written Amanda before, so please let me know what you think. 

“You’re pouting.”

Sarek looked up from his book to blink blankly at his wife. Amanda was flipping through her own book on the couch across from him in their living room. His wife had a habit of making illogical comments instead of being forthright with him about whatever was bothering her in order to get a reaction from him. It was one of the human traits he did not care for. He also believed that it amused her to accuse him of un-Vulcan-like behaviors.

However, after the many years of their marriage, he had learned he should address her comments before they turned into a disagreement. Statistically, this resulted in the chance his being in the proverbial house of dogs (a terran expression he still did not fully understand) much less likely. Therefore, he closed his book and stated: “I know better than to remind you that Vulcans do not pout.”

“I would disagree, but that isn’t what I want to talk about.” Amanda closed her book as well and straightened her back. Usually, she would have a teasing smile, but today her jaw was pulled tight. This was unusual. “You are unhappy that Spock will remain at Starfleet Academy to be an instructor.”

Sarek carefully thought his response before replying, “I do not agree this course of action will be beneficial for his career.”

“As opposed to what, exactly?” Amanda crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I do not understand your meaning.” Sarek raised his eyebrow at how his wife rolled her eyes at his reply.

He knew his words would elicit a reaction of this sort from her. Amanda, for all of her human habits, did have one Vulcan quality: she liked to get to the point. Sarek found that if he did not answer her directly on occasion, their disputes would last longer; and he enjoyed debating his wife. She was highly intelligent and often found a perspective he had failed to consider. Of course, she was still wrong on occasion, something she would never admit.

“Sarek, why wouldn’t it be beneficial for his career?” Amanda stood and began to pace, listing off her position, “First, our son has a unique perspective on Federation culture and interactions. It is beneficial to Starfleet to have an officer of his intelligence and background teaching new recruits. Secondly, because of his esteemed status upon graduation and his qualifications, many high-ranking Starfleet officers and Federation employees will want to keep him close. He will meet many people who could useful to him in the future. And third, by allowing him to work at the Academy, he can explore future endeavors outside of Starfleet more easily, as the physical location of the Academy is near the Federation Headquarters on Earth.”

“And?” Amanda’s eyebrows knitted together in frustration. Sarek knew his wife was holding back another reason. She often held back information in a discussion to use at what she considered to be a more appropriate time.

“And he will be happy.” Her eyes challenged him to disagree with her last statement. “Do you disagree with my reasoning?”

“Your logic is sound,” he conceded. With a bit more thought, he replied, “I believe Starfleet is using him to further their own benefit without consideration of his future. They see him as a connection to myself and believe they can further control Vulcan’s interest by employing my son.”

“That’s rather self-centered, don’t you think?” Amanda’s voice was tart and Sarek was startled at the turn the conversation had taken.

He had not realized she was upset. He thought over the conversation again, as well as their conference with Spock this morning when he told them of his plans. She had expressed her pride and happiness in Spock’s decision during the call. Since then, she had been unusually quiet, now that he thought about it. And just now, she had brought up the conversation with a specific goal in mind. Perhaps he had misspoken at some point and caused her to be irritated.

Therefore, he cautiously responded, “My concern was for Spock’s career, not my own. I believe that Starfleet’s endeavor to cater my good favor will be unsuccessful. Therefore, they could impede Spock’s future endeavors out of spite.”

“You think Starfleet would punish him if you don’t start agreeing with them?” Apparently, Amanda had not seen this as result of Spock’s employment. It was satisfying to convince her of his point. With a sigh she sat down beside him.

Sarek used the opportunity to take her hand. When debating with another Vulcan, this would obviously not be an appropriate action. However, humans considered touch to be a soothing sentiment. Amanda always responded well to hand holding and although Sarek would never admit it, he didn’t see a negative consequence in the act.

“I believe Spock is wasting time when he could be greatly contributing to Starfleet as a science officer or diplomat.”

Amanda bit her lip, considering his words. Then with the smallest of smiles, one Sarek would have missed had he not been studying her face to make sure he was reading her emotions correctly, she said, “There was a time when you thought him joining Starfleet was a mistake.”

“That is irrelevant to the conversation, my beloved.” Sarek still believed it was a mistake. The Vulcan Science Academy would have proven to everyone once and for all that his son was as much a Vulcan as anyone else. The emotional decision to decline the honor of being accepted into the Academy was a poor choice. But the choice had been made; it was illogical to argue over it now.

“I know you want what’s best for him,” murmured Amanda. “But sometimes as a parent, it is our job to be supportive of what makes them happy, even if it may not be what is best.”

“That is illogical,” Sarek pointed out.

“Is it illogical to support your son?”

“If he-”

Amanda was quick to interrupt him, shifting her hips on the couch to look at him straight on. “Is it illogical to support your son, who is intelligent, driven, and trying to do good in the universe?”

“Perhaps not.”

This made her eyes light up and Sarek knew he had said what she wanted to hear. Throughout Spock’s life, Amanda had often had to remind him that their son was half human, like herself. It was something easily dismissed because Spock had studiously adopted his Vulcan heritage over that of his human side. Perhaps this was another one of those times.

“Then you will call him tonight and tell him that you support his decision!”

“I do not support his decision,” he reminded her. “Vulcans do not lie.”

“Fine, don’t say you support his decision, just tell him you support him.”

Amanda let him mull over this choice of words. She was right, of course, that would not be a lie. Sarek did his best to always support his son. He would not have to be specific about exactly what he was supporting. His wife was watching him carefully, waiting for his response. The logical thing to do would be to do as she asked. After all, it would make her happy.

“I will call him after dinner.”

“Splendid!” exclaimed Amanda and Sarek was rewarded with a kiss, both in the Vulcan and human manner.

After many years of marriage, Sarek had learned many things. The most important of those was that the most logical course was to keep Amanda smiling. If he were human, perhaps he would say it was because he loved to see her happy. If he were human, that is.

[calliecat93]

Star Trek Episodes 42-46

A Piece of the Action: I love how this started with Kirk needing to beam down, Spock and McCoy just happen to enter the bridge, and Kirk just goes ‘yep, I’m dragging you two with me’ and they don’t even try to dispute it. That’s when you know that a formula has been nailed! Anyways, gangster planet... weird but since we had Jack the Ripper posessing the Enterprise not that long ago, I ain’t surprised anymore. Plus I’m not complaining cause this episode was just plain fun. Kirk was a riot with the fizzbin scene, being a terrible driver, and just going into full-on gangster mode cause why not? It’s a pretty ridiculous episode, but that’s not out of the norm at this point and again, it’s a fun one that just takes what it has and rolls with it. The cast, Shatner especially, were clealry having fun and when the cast is enjoying things, the audience tends to as well. Think my only complaint is how Shatner and Nimoy got snazzy suits, but Kelley didn’t... then again I can easily believe McCoy nope-ing out of this part, but still. Ah well! Enjoyable watch all in all. 4/5.

The Immunity Syndrome: We have a situation with a deadly phenomena that outright destroyed a solar system and a Vulcan vessel that poor Spock outright sensed. The conflict comes in when everything starts dying and someone needs to be willing to go into the danger zone, and the choice as to who is between Spock and McCoy. It’s a tense situation where everything is hanging by a thread with everything pushed to it’s limits and whoever goes out is likely going to die take the thing down for good. Then comes which one of the two gets sent with the final decision coming down to Kirk. McCoy has the scientific knowledge suited to look into it, but Spock is more capable fo ha dling the mental toll and has a personal reason due to the Vulcans. In the end, Kirk picks Spock. It’s a very good episode where the ship is possibly in it’s greatest danger yet and everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is being pushed. Then when Kirk makes his choice, we have McCoy bitter and not wishing Spock luck until it’s too late, which when it looks like Spock indeed died... yeah, Kelley nailed the guilt through body language alone. Then when Spock and Kirk begin recording what may be their final words if everything fails... they all know that they could very well die in this situation. Strong stuff, to say the least. Now of course everything works out with and the scene where McCoy tells Spock to shut up about them leaving him behind and that they are going to save him was a great moment, including Spock’s snarky quip in response. It’s very much a tense episode where with so much being pushed you’re worried about how they’re gonna get out of it. I think that the trio especially were great here, especially Spock and McCoy with their usual banter feeling a lot more... tense here than usual. Great episode! 5/5.

A Private Little War: Well that’s the second episode in a row where Spock nearly died, only now Kirk gets to join in. Anyways, we have some kind of hunting/tribal planet that Kirk and McCoy are stuck on and Kirk ends up poisoned, then essentially put under a love spell when healed. We also have this village trying to get their hands on superior weapons to win a war, which is apparently meant to parallel the Korean/Vietnam Wars. Anyways, it was fine. I can see the parallels to the wars and it was nice that Kirk chose McCoy because he feels that he can trust him and his advice equally to Spock’s, who has to sit out of most of the episode cause even Vulcans aren’t immune to bullets. Which seeing Jim and Bones argue over essentially setting off a never-ending war was pretty intense since I don’t recall them EVER getting into an argument, but in the end Kirk’s decision is pretty much the only one that they have and it’ll mean sentencing one of his friends on the planet to death. In the end Nona used the spell to take Kirk’s phaser to give the enemy, and it resulted in her death and Tyrse abandoning his pacifism to get vengeance with Kirk unable to do anything about it as it’s the only option, A pretty dark ending which makes the war parallels all the stronger, but very much still relevant in today’s world. A pretty good episode overall. Not as much as the first two, but again still relevant. 3.5/5.

Return to Tomorrow: Ho boy, body hijacking! Fun! So we have Kirk, Spock, and Lady of the Week let some alien mind... whatever in spheres take over their bodies while they get put into the spheres... well at least it’s not McCoy geting his brain screwed up this time. He’s only ones who stands by how stupid an idea this is, but even he can’t fight the power of Kirk’s Monologing... which tbf WAS a pretty good one about taking the risk for scientific discovery... I still standby that it was stupid though. I could do without the echo effect that they add to the voices to emphasize the posession because it’s far too distracting, but it does give the actors a chance to go outside the norm. Nimoy especially gets to go full-on expressive/villain mode as while the other teo are only using the bodies until artificial ones can be made, the third decides that it likes having a Vulcan body so... yeah. It’s a fine episode, nothing great but a good watch. I think I just liked watching Nimoy go all villain and he’s clealry enjoying the freedom, haha! I feel sympathetic to Sargon and his wife since they aren’t evil and just wanted to feel human again and were perfectly willing to be androids/help humanity, unlike their companion and their final fate is a sad one... well the wife goes crazy for a bit but still. I also love how they outwitted the villain at the end, it really had me there for a bit XD A fine episode all in all. 4/5.

Patterns of Force: So in this episode we have The Enterprise vs a planet of Nazis! Boy is THIS gonna be fun! I imagine it had to be awkward since Shatner and Nimoy are Jewish and had to dress as Nazis, but hey it is about Nazism/fascism being bad and they’re undercover so I guess for a good cause... and they get to take them down so ah well! It gets it’s point across in showing how inhumane the Nazis are and how bringing it upon another planet for ANY reason was a horrible idea. Also love how it took McCoy like... a full minute to realize that he and the others were dressed as Nazis, himself included, cause he was too grumpy trying to get his boot on. I can see why he became my favorite, haha! There’s nothing too notable about the episode, it’s just our heroes helping a rebellion to defeat the Nazis, and we never complain about seeing Nazis getting their asses kicked. It’s not the best piece of media to address these things, they’re essentially taking down a man who took the infastructure and corrupted it more, but it still ends with the man responsible dying for not learning form history and using that infastructure to begin with. Just feels like they got off easy, but ah well, hopefully things became better in that world. 3/5.

So we got gangsters, Spock/McCoy feels (take that under whatever preference you choose), love spells, posession, war, and Nazis. Fun times, right? Well folks, only five more for S2 to go. Will they keep the entertainment train rolling? We’ll see soom enough.

[nikkzwrites]

Emotional Support Vulcan | AOS Vus x Reader One-Shot |

Author’s Note: This fic is set in the Kelvin timeline in between Star Trek (2009) and Into Darkness. Vus is my Vulcan OC along with his older sister. I recently made a post about this, but I actually wanted to give my poor Vus some attention so here it is.  Word Count: Little over 3k Story Description: 

You are escorting your superior when you met the Vulcan Matriarch’s brother. He was different from what you imagined. He stood tall and strong. He did not seem like the child his older sibling spoke about. He was going to be working with you during the stay.

You sighed and looked towards your commander. He seemed to be just as anxious as you were about being here on New Vulcan for the ceremonies. You crossed your legs and settled in your seat in his bed. You complained and asked, “Do I really have to be the one down here with you? Why couldn’t someone else do it? Or why have someone come with you at all?”

He sighed and used the mirror to gain eye contact with you, “She requested a representative of every ship in the Federation that helped aid her people. I was a personal request of attendance and hold a seat in the ceremony. I could not be the representative for Enterprise.” Spock turned toward you and commented, “You were also the one who requested shore leave.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be stuck following you around,” You huffed at him.

He rolled his eyes and mentioned, “This was simply to make sure you did not break terms and embarrass the rest of your species so that Humans are not uninvited to New Vulcan much like Vulcan was before.”

You stood up nervously, “You don’t think she would do that, would she? She is half Human, right?”

“Depends on how severe the situation,” he explained, “She may have no choice than to look out for the safety of her people first.” He studied you seeing how you paced around the room anxiously. He thought for a moment, “I can always request a different escort for you if you wish.”

You stopped in your tracks and rushed to him with a beaming smile, “Really?”

He nodded and bowed his head, “Please excuse me for a second.” He disappeared behind the door. You rolled your eyes. You could understand he didn’t want a diplomatic incident, but he was close enough with the Matriarch to be specially invited by her to her coronation as the Matriarch. So what was the issue?

Spock slipped back into the room just as you were pondering those questions. He smiled and said, “Good news. Laarth has agreed to spare a very important person in her life to entertain you.”

This made you perk up. You smiled and asked, “Oh? Who is it?” You silently hoped it was not Vus. He seemed even more boring than your Commander. He was constantly just following his elder sister around. You only heard his deep voice once. It sounded as whiskey felt when you took a shot. You know he could talk more though because you could spot him often leaning over his shorter sister to whisper to her. 

“Vus,” your commander instantly killed your mood once more.

You yelled in frustration. “Why did you have to go and do that for? I’d much rather be with you. She probably trying to get rid of him because he bores her too!”

He quickly put a hand over your mouth, “Please not so loud. You are going to upset her.”

“Upset her,” You complained after pulling his hand away, “What is there to be upset about?! He’s dull, uninteresting and…”

Vus silently walked into the room. His demeanor showed no sign that he had heard you complaining about him. His curls draping over his forehead. His low voice rolled over the rest of the room, “Excuse me, I believe my sister assigned me to be your escort. Am I intruding?”

“No,” both you and your commander said in unison.

He nodded his head slightly and brought the corner of his bottom lip into his mouth for just a second before responding, “They are setting up the booths around the town if you would like to join me.” His dark eyes wouldn’t meet your gaze.

You stared at him a moment in a trance. Was he always like that, since you’ve seen him? You felt a sharp pain in your side bringing you back to what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh,” you immediately released at the pain. You looked up at the man once more, “Yes. I would enjoy that very much.”

He nodded and hurried out, “I will give you time with the attendants to help you get into more suitable clothes.”

“Why I,” You started after him. You got cut off by your commander looking at you sternly. You sneered back at him as a reply but walked back to your room without arguing. Standing at your door awaited two attendances with a traditional Vulcan jacket and pants. You grabbed the outfit and dismissed them deciding you knew how to get dressed.

After a while, Vus knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for an answer. He looked down at you. He raised a brow and stated, “You didn’t use an attendant I sent for you.”

“Why would I,” you asked. Everything was on. That was all that was needed, right?

Vus motioned with his hand as an offer to help. You saw no reason to decline so you accepted. He made you turn and he started to untie the belt holding the front pieces together. “Those are backward,” He stated before walking out to allow you decency.

You stared at him as he walked away. He held his hands in front of him as he walked away. His jacket really fit him well. It showed off his wide shoulders compared to his waist. Did he work out? Do Vulcans work out? You shook your head of those thoughts. Did it really matter that the front panels were backward? You fixed it nonetheless and walked out. You looked at Vus, who was waiting for you right outside the door.

“Much better,” He commented. He turned away from you and called back, “Please keep up.” He was already heading down the stairs.

You hurried behind him. “So,” you asked, “why was that so important?”

“You don’t want people to think you are married to a dull, uninteresting bore, would you,” he kept posing questions but in a tone that was more just statements. 

You flushed in embarrassment. So he had heard the comments. You fumbled over yourself trying to come up with something to say, “L-listen I...”

He interrupted you, “It’s fine. I take no offense. I do not believe either one of us appreciate this.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “You have preferences,” the question slipped out before you could stop yourself. You could just hit your head in frustration at yourself.

“Do you not communicate with your superior officer often,” He asked back. He reached the door and bowed his head to one of the other Vulcans before putting his arm around the small of your back and guiding you out in front of him.

Feeling his hand guiding you made you feel vulnerable. His large hands were so gentle, yet foreboding. They were so quick to lead you to where he wanted then to disappear from you. Your skin burned from the lack of his touch staying there. Your eyes traced his strong jawline as he slowed to allow you to walk ahead. His harsh eyes motioned for you to speed up.

“I would like to be back before sundown so please quicken your pace and decision making,” his authoritative voice pulled you back into the focus of what you were doing. 

You rolled your eyes at him, “Are you always this impatient?”

He was quick to reply with, “I just expect more from an officer of Starfleet. You are rumored to be very decisive when faced with a dilemma. I believe I should correct these assumptions now though. Clearly it was just propaganda.” He stopped by a booth to order something you couldn’t make out since he was speaking in his native tongue.

Anger bubbled up within you. “Do you have a problem,” you hissed.

“I believe you are mistaken,”  Vus paid the woman and past you a stick with cooked food on it while he kept one for himself, “I am simply making an observation. I do not mean to offend. Though I must admit, I did have much more important matters I was attending before I was mandated to make sure you do not cause a disastrous diplomatic incident.”

You made a face, “If it were so important, I do not believe they would have spared you.”

“On the contrary,” Vus replied, “My sister has a notable soft spot and a logical foully when it comes to your Commander.” His lips rested tenderly on one of the pieces of his portable meal as he expertly bit into it. The juices dripped into his mouth and glazed his lips.

You thought for a moment, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, I was the only other person in the room when he asked if she could spare anyone to escort you.”

“You’re telling me,” you realized, “That she chose you because she forgot other people existed when Spock walked into the room.”

Vus fell silent. You could infer that you must have been correct, but he didn’t want to confirm. He instead walked to a booth with some flowers and started talking to them. You sighed knowing that the conversation was over. You leaned against the side of the booth and looked around at the busy street. You were surprised to see so many bustling people around. You used this time to watch how the Vulcan’s interacted with each other. Many of them seemed to be somber despite the festivities going on around them. You looked towards your escort.

You asked, “Is this common?”

Vus looked around and then asked, “May I have a clarification of what you are referring?”

“Everyone seems...upset,” You commented, “On edge.”

Vus replied, “Maybe you are misunderstanding.”

“No,” You stopped him, “I am not. What is wrong?”

Vus looked around. He grasped your arm and pulled you into a more private area. A flicker of aggravation sparked within his eyes, “You realize what this is correct?”

“A coronation,” you asked.

He nodded and said, “Our planet is gone. Many of us lost loved ones on Vulcan. We must move forward. Some of us are losing people in this process.” He read your confused reaction and sighed. “I lost my sister and my mother when we lost Vulcan.”

You shook your head, “But your sister…”

“She is a leader now. You don’t know what that means,” He slammed his fist into a nearby building, “She lost her life so that she could step up. For many people, they lost their leader of over 100 years. Do you think she is ready to step into that place? She’s midway into her twenties! She had a good 40 years before this. She had at least 20 years to be Ambassador and before that 20 years being an apprentice.”

You reached to touch him. 

He was shaking violently. Suddenly he looked at his hands, took a deep breath, and stopped. He looked at you. “I believe it will be best if we get back.”

There was silence walking back to the house. He walked ahead. He seemed farther away than he was before. His hair was disheveled. You wanted to grab onto him to let him know that it was okay. 

Upon arriving, Vus stormed past his sister without saying a word to her welcome. He just rushed up the stairs and hid away within his room once more. You, panting, stopped. You doubled over trying to catch your breath. Laarth’s soft touch pet your back. Her small nimble fingers ran down to soothe you. “Oh, is everything alright,” She asked.

You shook your head and looked up at her. She was so gentle, yet her stoic face held an aura that demanded respect. You explained what had happened. You licked your dry lips trying to stay hydrated.

“Why don’t we get you some water,” She asked motioning to one of the attendants to grab some while she walked with you. She held your hands while the two of you walked, “You know, Vus has always been my closest confidant.” She thanked the attendant for the water and handed you the cool glass.

You took a sip. Everything about this moment felt refreshing. What about her made you feel so complacent, you wondered to yourself. You spoke up and asked, “Is he?”

Laarth nodded and smiled, “We were both lonely children before we met. I believe because somewhere deep inside our Katra were calling to each other. So when I first came to Vulcan, we bonded very quickly. Our mother wasn’t the most…” Laarth thought for a moment, “loving individual. But I had my father for 8 years prior so I was able to help Vus.”

Your brow furrowed, “Help him?”

“Yes, emotional suppression through logic comes very hard for him,” She continued to explain, “He has always been very tender and gentle. The weight of the world always was on his shoulders. He never believed I should be thrust into this position or work with Sarek. He often came home from school with bruises and cuts that I would have to clean up.”

You sat at the garden table she lead the two of you towards. “Was he bullied,” you asked. You had no idea he was actually this troubled. He just seemed like an arrogant self-centered ass.

She shook her head, “The other Vulcan children didn’t like that I was shown preferential treatment. I was allowed out of school and studied at a very young age to follow Sarek’s teachings.”

You finally put it together. He loved and missed the world where it was just him and his sister against the world. Now it was just him. He must have been so lonely. Now that she mentioned it. You remembered seeing his reaction to her embrace from after the Vulcan explosion. You had never seen him more relaxed. His head resting against hers. His hair wet with sweat and face covered with soot. He was so dirty and messy. Yet, you could feel nothing but contentedness radiating from him at that moment. You stood. You thanked Laarth for her guidance and asked to take your leave.

Vus didn’t show up for dinner that night. He apparently locked himself in his room completely. You felt hurt. You stood outside his door trying to come up with something to say. You couldn’t tell anyone how long you were there. It felt both as if it had been an eternity yet not long enough for you to settle out what you wanted to say. The world kept moving around you though. Night slowly crept across the house. You were sitting across the hall from his door when you heard it. 

Gentle piano music waft through his door. It was so quiet. You snuck in to listen to him play. 

“Afraid to be alone again,” he lowly sang, “I hate this” He continued as he played, “I'm trying to find a way to chill,” His playing and voice slowly grew, “I can't breathe oh. Is there somebody who could,” You heard his voice crack a bit, “Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up. No medicine is strong enough. Someone help me.” His voice just kept growing, “I'm crawling in my skin. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't.” He paused for a beat before his fingers pounded on the keys. His heart was screaming. “It isn't in my blood,” he repeated, “It isn't in my blood. I need somebody now. I need somebody now. Someone to help me out. It isn’t in my blood.” His sweat and tears fell upon the keys as he focused all of his emotions. You could tell his jaw was clenching between breaths. He slowed his playing to just as faint as a hummingbird’s flight. “It isn’t in my blood.” His voice wasn’t much louder than his playing. He panted as he cooled off from playing his heart out.

Your voice spoke up and said, “I’m sorry.” Your own cheeks wet with tears.

.

.

.

After that day, you were inseparable. He was relaxed. His quiet nature seemed more endearing to you and every once and a while, he would lead over to whisper into your ear about hilariously mean observations he had made. You had a hard time not having fun around him. He even seemed to talk more to Spock. This made you smile. He seemed to be getting over his grudge against the other man. 

You rest your head against his shoulder as the two of you danced at the end of the coronation. Your heart ached to know you were going to have to leave soon. Your commanding officer and you couldn’t stay on New Vulcan forever, as much as you wanted to now. 

Vus’ splendid low voice purred into your ear, “What’s wrong?” He kept the dance going but his hand held your body closer to his taller one. 

“I am leaving soon,” you whispered into his chest.

“Ah,” Vus sighed, “Yes about that.”

You clung onto him, “I don’t know if I want to be without you now.”

You felt him nod. He ran his fingers through your hair, “I can understand that feeling, but…”

“Is there any way I can extend my time here?”

His chest vibrated with his laughter, “No. Starfleet would not appreciate it… Especially since Laarth already made another special request.”

You looked up at him, “What is that?”

“Apparently it was...implied… that I was needed aboard the Enterprise to make sure everything stayed in order with Commander Spock aboard.”

Your eyes lit up, “Really?”

Vus nodded, “I do need to finalize some of the paper work. I do not know if I can be spared from my duties here.”

You brushed your lips against his for a split second before teasing, “But sir, you are my emotional support Vulcan.”

He smiled and pressed his index and middle finger against yours, “You goon.” He pressed his forehead against yours. A content sigh released from his lips as his eyes closed.

[og-danny-dorito]

Spock Headcanons (There's No Reason This Time I Swear)

S F W: 

- I don't even know why I like him so much I just do, but my dumb gay ass just loves this man. seriously no kidding

- spock is a child of two worlds; an outcast but a familiar part of both systems in their actuality, residing as the cross section between Vulcan and human that was frowned upon for so long. his intelligence was left unconsidered as he passed all of his classes with excellence, being known as not the intelligent Vulcan boy but as the dysfunctional human hybrid of a being

- so obviously he's probably got some insecurities

- they're not bad, but he tends to be a bit self deprecating sometimes when referring to capability of things. for instance if you ask him if he can say uhhh.... if he can draw something for example. he’ll most likely state that he has no talent or not enough skill or his previous artwork was terrible so he doesn't suggest asking him for it. 

- he knows what he logically isn't and is capable of, but the human doubt still crawls in the back of his mind like a parasite. he still feels emotions, just less outwardly, he's definitely capable of feeling and if you are observant enough you'll notice that he expresses himself through very very small gestures

- when he quirks a brow at something he either finds it surprising or he's being sarcastic, two things which don't happen often (except the latter)

- he's very private, obviously, but is still open to conversation about his interests. mostly he says that he just reads and works in his spare time, but that's not exactly the truth

- when he has nothing else to do, spock finds interest in cat videos and cat videos only. seriously, he'll watch them for hours if he's not got nothing to do, just staring at the screen in silence as he watches cats do stupid cute things like they're the most interesting beings in the world

- he secretly would like a cat as a pet, but yknow it's not really easy to keep pets on Starfleet considering he doesn't want to deprive the animal of connectivity with nature

- can and will debate you about whether cats or dogs are better. sulu once said he thought cats were problematic in spock’s general area of 10 feet in diameter and there was a very heated debate that went on for a good hour or so before sulu got frustrated and decided to just let him win

- spock also likes weird and exotic plants considering that their chemical composition is interesting. he finds it fascinating that different planets use the plants around them for food or medical treatment or a number of other things, so he finds that a way to start off with a culture study is to study the biotany of the planet first

- had NEVER seen a cactus before coming to earth, and now has like 10 of them just sitting in his quarters. he'll never tell anyone but they're named after the constellations that can be seen from Vulcan. he's just a nerd I swear

- Shakespeare nerd, although that's  fact not a headcanon

- romantically I think he'd have fairly bad self worth issues. a lot of the time he views himself as unworthy of his partner, and he'll have trouble with physical contact the first few times mainly because he doesn't exactly know what to do with himself

- not much for pda at all. he says it's because it's indecent, but it's really because he gets all flustered when you kiss his cheek or snake your fingers around his in public where there are people all around. he gets super embarrassed and it's cUTE

- wouldn't have a favorite part of his partner physically; he's genuinely only attracted to the mind. male or female or not even using that gender binary, if you fit whatever standard he holds for intelligence and actually love him he doesn't care what you physically are

- vulcans bond through souls so appearance basically doesn't matter. this doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, it just means he wouldn't care if you weren't. he loves everything about you anyway, beautiful or not to the world around you both

- you could call him pansexual and I feel like he prefers someone with a more feminine or elegant way of handling themselves. someone that generally is elegant and cunning seriously catches his attention, and on top of that someone who can and will openly challenge him genuinely makes him intrigued and enrapt with you

- he does kindof have a taste for people who can be reckless (cough Jim cough) due to impulse or bravery, seeing as he admires the fact that the person is willing to take a risk

- cannot be with someone closed off and cold, it just won't work cause he himself is basically a block of ice. he does feel but like barely, and even then he doesn't really show it

- one good way to tell the emotion is to look into his eyes. they speak more than he ever would about his feelings to anyone out loud

- writes poetry to give as presents to those he cares about; most commonly to lovers or his mom (at least he used to write for his mom, until she died). he writes actually very well, although his poetry is more structured than eloquent in a sense of interpretation and imaginativeness. he writes about things that he likes about you, which ends up describing all of you with very specific details you probably didn't realize until you read the lines

- appreciates art in all forms, although he's fairly certain he'd be bad at it. if you write stories or draw he's always open to helping you interpret characters or figure out a good way to express your own feeling through the ar if you're having trouble. encourages you to try new things with pretty much everything, but mostly art

- VERY very good at giving advice, he's basically the Strict Mom of the whole crew (I say strict mom because there are multiple different people who take the mom title, such as Leonard “Bones” McCoy; Stressed Mom). for instance if you're injured or being faced with mentally stressing conditions he'll most likely tell you to take breaks more often or suggest speaking about them to either your peers or to someone you trust. usually people go to him when they don't know what to do and he calculates the probabilities of each and suggest they put aside most emotional matters to think through it more clearly

- his ideal date would probably be like going to a museum or something, but all he’ll do is stay in a section with all the cool rocks and taxidermy animals while asking your opinion and knowledge on them curiously. he may know about pretty much everything in there but he doesn't care, he likes to watch you marvel at all the cool things in there

- 100% does buy the stuffed animals and figurines that are supposed to be models of stuff. yes, he knows that he can find that rock from that one planet practically anywhere but he still WANTS it because it GLOWS in the DARK

- probably would not think you're like seriously dating until the second month or so, mainly to calculate stability between you two

- is open to a marriage if he's been courting someone for a particularly long time, being at least three years or so. he's very very plan-oriented and organized and so he expects you to be lacking impulsiveness when making life-changing decisions

- bonding with his partner means the most to him in all honesty, though. it hold s such a high regard in his heart and soul that he genuinely feel s very very seriously and passionately about it. it's something he doesn't take with a grain of salt, mostly because he wants to be with the one he loves forever. you mean the world to him, and he wants to keep you as close as possible for as long as possible

- down to have kids, maybe a girl that he'd name Amanda, after his mother, or a boy named Grayson or some Vulcan name that you wouldn't be able to pronounce correctly without extensive practicing

- just thinks kids are nice, although he'd probably be a little hesitant and VERY protective

- OH and before I finish this is completely unrelated but I feel like he likes summer more than any other season since it reminds him of his homeland so much. that and he also likes that everything grows up nicely during this time

- his favorite flower is either the notch-leaf phacelia or the harvestbell mainly because he likes the colors and structure of them; he just thinks they look neat

- he'll get them for you whenever, most likely organize the flowers specifically himself for you, combining yours and his favorite flowers to look beautiful even though the could be completely different

- denies that he's a hopeless romantic, merely stating that he just wants you to know that he loves you by giving you poems and flowers 

- but we all know The Truth

- tbh he just cares a lot, although he's bad a thing showing emotions. Spock is calm and collected, but inside a whirlpool of thoughts flood his head daily. be patient with him and he'll open up over time, letting you see into the depths of the mind you'll come to cherish so deeply

[alltingfinns]

For the July celebration of Sherlock’s Ten Year Jubilee I am continuing what I was already doing the rewatch:

“Look at you and John.” Superquickly “What about us?”

The theme of this episode is John and Sherlock being defensive about their relationship.

(Okay that is John’s theme in general, but Sherlock isn’t usually.)

Wait, did Henry and Sherlock just decide to ignore that John went off on his own? Both of them?

They do play with some classic horror staples like the scary sound with an innocent origin and jump scares.

Ohh, that sideways glance at John as he dismisses the hound, not realizing that Sherlock lied when he said he didn’t see it.

The way the scene is filmed whenever there’s a closeup of Sherlock with John in the picture almost looks like they are separated and then superimposed. Sherlock’s doubts are separating them.

Spock as a Vulcan was not free from feelings but rather constantly keeping them under check. He also claimed to be quoting an ancestor when saying that “whatever remains” quote, so a descendent of Doyle? SH is canonically fictional in the ST universe.

Getting sidetracked.

John had much better patient relation with Henry. Why did he think repeating Sherlock’s name was going to help?

John looks pissed.

“Look for the dog/woman” (I am not even attempting to write out the French) classic crime novel theme with a canine twist. Usually it’s about looking for motive though.

A bit silly that they don’t notice the man who screamed “NOTHING WRONG!” pointing at them just a minute later.

Still don’t get quite why John is so pissed before Sherlock tells him to leave him alone. Sherlock is upset and not handling it well but John takes it personally?

Maybe the emotion got to him too?

For the first time I saw “diana” in Henry’s flashback. His memory is clearing up.

All those other guys, just looky-loos? Except they came in their cars which isn’t the most discreet peeping tool out in the moor, so are they waiting their turn?

Sherlock knows John’s type but still doesn’t realize that he belongs to it.

Henry’s like “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten the ironic cable package”

“Only a nutter if you’re wrong”

Aww, even when things are rough John is more concerned with Sherlock than the case. His music even chimes in.

But here comes the party crasher.

Frankland is almost too obvious with that sabotage.

Omg! The Netflix subtitle referred to them as “sambo”! A serious couple who live together! It’s like whoever’s translating this thought there’s no point in being subtle about the “live-in PA” implications.

Yeah, no, John. Frankland may have fooled you with his schtick but he clearly knows who Henry’s therapist (and other weak points) is.

And then not at all subtly implicating Stapleton. I think someone went to the same deflecting-guilt coach as the president!

Look on the bright side John, for once the girl thought you had a thing for a guy that wasn’t Sherlock.

He really likes standing on that cliff. (When you are tall but still want to be tall.)

“Oh look you’ve got damp” is about my level of small talk.

Act eccentric enough and you can sneak out some sugar without raising questions.

Between Sherlock standing dramatically in high places and spotting John looking concerned in a cemetery...

UMQRA didn’t lead anywhere but sex.

A serious discussion about their friendship and Sherlock’s humanity in a cemetery...

Sherlock technically doesn’t insult John, he just calls him not a genius. Still doesn’t mean that John is average (or less) in intellect.

Sherlock, dear Sherlock. It really seemed more plausible to you that John was in on some Mycroft conspiracy to call Lestrade Greg, than the possibility that it is his given name?

I’m assuming this is where the mystrade ship set sail since it’s the first real connection of any kind between the characters.

Not your handler.

And again John shows his cleverness with appreciation from Sherlock.

The tenderness in “you don’t have to keep apologizing”.

Oh poor John. If you don’t take sugar in your coffee it can taste outright nasty when it’s added, especially if there’s no milk. But Sherlock just pouts the slightest bit and John weakens.

The Sherlock mirror was going to put the dog down but couldn’t.

I don’t get the denial about Sherlock being autistic when they have John mention aspergers. Of course the stigma is so strong you have plenty of people saying aspergers isn’t autism at all, which is sort of like saying hay fever isn’t pollen allergy.

It’s plot convenient that they go to Baskerville but is it just for the literally lab condition? He does analyze the sugar there.

John smiles a bit at “could be dangerous”. At this point that sentence should be engraved in their wedding rings.

I wonder what he promised Mycroft in return. “No fat jokes for a week.” “A year.” “Fine.”

You really feel for Henry.

The aerosol is dispersed in a room with the warning “Keep out! Unless you want a cold.” COVID-19 premonitions in my 2012 episode of Sherlock?

Also, how many others were unwitting test subjects?

Clearly light sensitivity is a symptom. Obviously didn’t come up in Dewer’s Hollow.

John trying to call Sherlock with the John music, ahh.

There’s almost no time between “can you see it” and Sherlock’s appearance so he must have been close by.

Sherlock has at least the morsel of decency to look guilty when John says he was wrong.

Why is everything about the bunny the absolute funniest thing?

A jellyfish!

Also Sherlock sneaking glances at John while doing lab work...

I had to look up Aequorea Victoria because I almost thought they picked it for the Victorian reference, but it is best known as a source for GFP (green fluorescent protein). They did their homework.

It may be a bit silly, but I really like the mind palace sequence.

It only works because Sherlock at some point read about CIA classified projects. I feel this is an untapped bit of his background. How much work has he done for his brother?

He figures out that Barrymore feel such a familiarity with Tatcher that he would refer to her by Maggie.

Aerosol Dispersal, how is that not what you focus on, Sherlock?

People make fun of the “top secret sweaters” but 1) people print sweaters for the silliest reasons and 2) it probably started out as a team name thing for the scientists involved before things went haywire and the project shut down. The project H.O.U.N.D. may have been a collective team name that ended up attached to the disaster. They made those sweaters thinking they were going to do a lot of other projects which they presumably didn’t.

Goddammit, Sherlock! You know a mind altering fear drug is around and you tell Lestrade to bring a gun? All John said was that Henry attacked her, although I guess he heard Louise saying gun.

There was a lot that I had no further comment on.

“Why not kill me?” “Because he needed to discredit you.”

:|

Don’t know if I’d look so relieved by the idea of dying from an explosion. But it does look like he’d rather die than face it, and he may have been tired from the secret keeping and the conspiracy upon conspiracy.

Sherlock did see why they didn’t put the dog down, but this episode in general enforces the “playing Sherlock Holmes” for John’s benefit. It’s possible that his main takeaway from their fight was that John doesn’t like him having feelings.

Ahh, I see. I guessed John figured out that Sherlock “drugged” him back when he was angry about sugar. The realization now is that Sherlock locked him in the lab.

It’s so mean and so funny. I feel bad for laughing and yet I do.

Okay here he calls John average.

John wants him to admit being wrong but Sherlock fears that he will lose John’s interest then. “Won’t happen again.”

Poop jokes! Kind of feel that was specifically to take advantage of the “go see a man about a dog”.

Wonder what’s on Moriarty’s mind?

[mystery-star]

Threshold of Space - Chapter 7 Assumptions

Pairing: Spock x OC

Warnings: swearing, bullying, allusions to sex, slight violence, angst, slight PTSD

Words: 6775

All Parts: 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |  Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

Much to her annoyance, Nicole kept assuring her that Pavel was the right man for her and she was sure that probably half of the Academy now thought she was with Pavel. But somehow Carissa was glad that no one knew the truth.

When the day was finally over, Carissa was halfway in the library when she realized that her boyfriend must be waiting for her. So she turned around to meet him outside as they had agreed. To her surprise, Spock was nowhere to be seen. Someone knocked into her from behind and she almost fell over

“Oh sorry” she had to bite back a groan when she heard Oliver Moore’s voice. “Didn’t see you there”

“No problem, nothing happened”

“That’s good. Just imagine your Russian boyfriend would have needed to come and punish me… Suddenly Bennett isn’t good enough anymore, huh?”

“Leave me alone”

“Or are you fucking two at the same time? Naughty. What would poor old Professor Bennett say if he knew you’re replacing him with a younger one?” she snorted and looked away “Hey” he shoved her “I asked you something”

“Just go away”

“What if not? Will I get into trouble with one of your boyfriends, huh?” he tore her bag away and threw it on the ground

“Just because you don’t have anyone doesn’t mean you need to need to make fun of me. I bet you’re just jealous.” he glared at her

“Take that back, you whore”

“Only if you say you’re sorry”

“I’ll make sure that you will be sorry” he quickly grabbed her and without thinking, Carissa kicked him between the legs

“Let go of me!”

“Only when you apologize!” he turned her around that her back faced him and painfully twisted her arm upwards

“Stop, you’re hurting me”

“Hey uh, what you’re doing?” another cadet asked “Cut the crap”

“Piss off or you’re next” Oliver snarled and the other male did exactly that. “And you apologize and I might be gentle with you”

“What is going on here?” they were approached by a professor and to Carissa’s dismay it was Moore’s uncle.

“She attacked me and I had to defend myself, uncle” Oliver lied.

“Is that so, Wiley?”

“I uh… did not attack him. I might have said something that offended him and then he… ahhh” she cried out when Oliver twisted her arm even more.

“That’s enough, Oliver, you’re breaking her arm. You don’t want to get into trouble because of her” luckily her classmate listened and let go of her. Instantly she rubbed her arm and felt tears in her eyes. “As for you, Wiley, you’ll come with me”

“Sir, I-I did not do anything wrong. I was just standing here when he accidentally bumped into me and started taunting and insulting me about my boyfriend. I told him that just because he has no one, there is no reason to make fun of me. And then he lost it”

“You kicked me between the legs”

“As I see it, this was only a method to defend herself” Carissa felt a smile on her face when she recognized the voice. The other males turned around to the Vulcan behind them

“What would you know about this incident?” the older Professor spat

“I was- as you humans would say- lucky enough, to observe the last part of Cadet Moore and Wiley’s controversy from afar. Which is why I have seen with my own eyes that the first act of violence emanated from Cadet Moore whereupon Cadet Wiley unsuccessfully tried to break free from him”

“Well maybe, Spock, you should let me handle this since you’re not a professor anymore. So get lost and don’t intrude in other people’s business”

“I take it you know of a Vulcan’s aversion to violence so I could not walk by as if nothing had happened. Now that I am involved in this matter I refuse to leave until it is cleared up” he crossed his arms Carissa’s mouth twisted into a smile.

“Is that really necessary?”

“I believe I have made my position clear to you or would you like me to repeat my previous words?”

“I would like you to let me handle that matter alone!”

“Then allow me to assist you and officiate as a witness and neutral judge”

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go?” by now, a group of students was already watching their discussion with great interest. “I’m sure a man who’s as smart as you has a lot of things to do”

“That is correct and right now it is my task to elucidate the incidents of earlier. I am sure that you can profit from my intellect” Carissa bit her lip to not burst out with laughter.

“Are you calling me incompetent?”

“That would be a rushed and probably untrue conclusion. I merely referred to the obvious fact that your brain is second to mine” also Professor Moore now crossed his arms and glared at the taller Vulcan.

“Why don’t you just go back to where you came from? Oh wait, you can’t. Your planet was destroyed. Whoever it was, I’d like to thank them, they have freed the galaxy from a great plague” this was going to end badly, Carissa knew that. “I’m sure you only landed here because the Vulcans didn’t want you. But know what? No one wants you here either…”

“Professor Moore, let us not forget the reason we are here is the controversy between Cadet Moore and Wiley”

“What? Are you not willing to talk about your planet? Or the fact you don’t belong anywhere? Does it make you feel sad? Or does it not even bother you? After all Vulcans don’t feel, am I right?”

“The motive of your resentment towards me is unknown to me”

“Oh come on, Spock, strain your Vulcan brain a little”

“If this is a reference to the fact that I have taken your position as professor for the first and second year cadets, I can assure you that it was never my intention to… how do you say? Hurt your pride. Besides, if this is the case I do believe that we should rather discuss this in private”

“Why? Are you afraid you could lose a debate in front of everyone?”

“Since afraid is referring to an emotion I can assure you that this is not the case” Carissa didn’t like this at all but she had no idea what she was supposed to do and hoped another Professor would interfere.

“At least that explains why you’ve never made yourself any friends…”

“Contrary to your belief I have friends. I am just careful enough to choose them wisely”

“Come on, Spock, we both know that’s not true. You don’t have any friends. You will always be alone, no one wants you”

“Vulcans do not lie. Besides, we had better discuss this in private because I am most certain that our dispute is upsetting the cadets”

“What do you know of feelings?”

“Professor Moore, I do not know when our conversation got out of control but I would like to come back to the actual matter”

“Oh I can tell you when it got out of control. The moment you decided to show up and felt the need to assume an air of superiority” he poked his finger into Spock’s chest who only cocked up an eyebrow.

“Uhh” Carissa said “I really don’t mean to take sides… but the reason we are here is because of Oliver and me”

“Fine, you’re free to leave”

“But uncle, she attacked me”

“This is at odds with the truth, Cadet Moore”

“Are you calling my nephew a liar?”

“I am simply pointing out the fact that his statement is not consistent with my observation” which was, as Carissa knew, a very formal way of saying ‘yes’ for Spock anyway.

“Well Spock, I officially give a damn about your observation, your opinion or your help. Cadet Wiley, Oliver, we’re going to my office”

“If I recall correctly, Professor Moore, you have allowed Cadet Wiley to leave”

“I changed my mind because you distracted me from what I was doing”

“I will allow myself to speak my mind”

“Oh do that Spock, it’s not like you ever hold yourself back…”

“I cannot help but note that you are willing to believe whatever your nephew is telling you”

“Are you implying that I am playing favorites? This is impudent” to everyone’s surprise he hit the Vulcan square in the face.

“Go get him” Oliver hissed. Everyone was looking at Spock, waiting for his reaction.

“I do not imply things, I only word my observations and thoughts”

“What is going on here?” Carissa turned around to see Professor Bennett coming towards them “What are you doing, Professor Moore, Commander Spock?”

“We were simply having a discussion between two old colleagues. Didn’t we, Spock?” he nudged his side with his elbow.

“Unfortunately, I beg to differ”

“Is that so?” Bennett turned at Carissa “Cadet Wiley, could you please tell me what is going on here, seeing as they are not capable of doing so?”

“Oh err…” she found herself telling what had happened since Oliver had bumped into her, feeling embarrassed with everyone looking at her

“Fine. I suggest we forget everything that has happened. Cadet Wiley, Cadet Moore, you both apologize to each other and consider it done” then he glanced at the two officers “And the same applies for you two. You should know better than to being a squabble in public. You’re supposed to be a role model…”

“Oliver, I am sorry about my comment”

“And I’m sorry too…” he looked down and leant closer “that you’re a whore. You’ll pay Wiley” then he walked away, directly followed by his uncle after he threw a last glance at Spock. Bennett ushered the other cadets away before he left too. Carissa slowly rubbed her arm and looked down

“Are you hurt, Carissa?”

“No I’m fine, Spock, thanks” she whispered, not wanting to look at him.

“I apologize for my behavior, I did not want to attract attention”

“I said I’m fine” she repeated and picked up her bag.

“Carissa, I cannot bring you to my apartment now because there is something I need to do first”

“Oh okay. I guess I’ll wait in the library” to be honest, she was glad to hear that because she didn’t want the other cadets to see how she left the campus with Spock. At least not right now.

“Then I will come and meet you there when I am finished” she nodded

“See you later” she went back inside and walked to the library, sitting down next to Nicole

“Hey, I thought you’d be leaving with your boyfriend” she said, nudging her side

“He’s got stuff to do right now. I’ll wait here”

“Does that mean Pavel’s coming here?” she only sighed and realized that now Nicole would learn the truth if she wanted or not.

“Nicole, Pavel is not my boyfriend”

“What? Why? I mean why didn’t you tell me? Who is it then? I really don’t know anyone else from the Enterprise really who come into question. Lieutenant Sulu maybe?” Carissa said nothing again “Alright, you leave me no choice” she typed something into her PADD “Let’s see who else is serving on the bridge of the Enterprise… Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, Lieutenant Chapin, Lieutenant 0718 what the hell? Is that an android? Good that were all males. Okay, let’s break this down and see who we can exclude. We already said that it can’t be Kirk and I suppose you’re not dating someone called 0718 and we all know that you can’t honestly have a relationship with a Vulcan unless you’re one too. So that leaves Chapin and Sulu. Hmm… I’ve got absolutely no idea who this Chapin is, so I suppose you don’t know him either. As for Sulu, I think he’s more you’re type. Oh come on, Carissa, show me at least some reaction…”

“Nicole, please stop” Carissa sighed

“Then tell me who it is”

“You’ll see him when he comes here, isn’t that enough?”

“No, I can’t focus now”

“Well once you know you’ll be asking questions anyway…”

“Fine alright… just tell me, is he among the ones I already listed or not?”

“Yes, you mentioned him”

“So it is Sulu?” a cadet opposite them cleared her throat

“I heard he’s gay”

“What? Sulu?”

“Alright it is Chapin then… probably”

“But who is this Chapin?” the other cadet asked. Great, now even strangers were interested in her love life.

“I don’t know. Carissa, you tell me?”

“What do I know?”

“Ahh you’re trying to talk yourself out of it…”

“Nicole, you’ve already spent the whole day claiming I was with Pavel and it turned out it wasn’t the case.”

“Wait, was that a hint that it isn’t Chapin?”

“Yes it was” the other cadet said, got up and took a seat on Nicole’s other side “Show me the list… it has to be someone else then. Are you even sure it’s a man?”

“Yes. She said it’s a boyfriend. I still believe it’s Kirk somehow, given your history. Wait a second, didn’t you say he was on the Vengeance with you? Maybe he’s asked you then? Oh yes, that would be typically Kirk to ask you in the middle of a fight”

“Yes but I don’t know what you mean with keeping quiet about her but I imagine that Kirk would not do that”

“Damn, you’re right… hey, what’s your name?”

“Alisha”

“What year are you in?”

“Second”

“Oh okay. I’m Nicole and that’s Carissa. We’re third years”

“Nice to meet you” Carissa only murmured in agreement.

“But hey, what about the Commander?”

“He’s Vulcan, remember?”

“Oh right, I forgot”

“Guys I’d really love to do some homework right now. You’ll see him anyway and I know that I’ll be getting thousands of questions tomorrow…”

“Okay. I’ll drop this now. But tomorrow, you are in for a looooong questioning. And I still think it’s Pavel…” Carissa chuckled and focused on her work again, yet she couldn’t concentrate as she wanted because she was curious how her friend would react upon seeing her boyfriend. After all she had excluded him from the list almost immediately Two hours passed and suddenly she got a feeling that Spock had forgotten about her. Meanwhile also Nicole was starting to think that “You know, if I wasn’t so curious who it is I would’ve long gone to get dinner”

“Actually I’m hungry too…”

“But if we both leave he won’t know where you are. I mean you must have told him to meet you here?”

“Yeah”

“And what if you tell me who it is and when he comes here, I can tell him you’re in the canteen? Or maybe you’re back by the time he arrives…” Alisha said. Somehow Carissa wasn’t too happy to tell someone she didn’t really know but since she had no idea how long it would take her boyfriend to get here she decided it was better to eat something now. So she gave a nod and leaned towards Alisha to whisper the name in her ear. Her eyes widened “What? No way! How’s that even possible? I want to be there when you answer the questions!”

“What? Who is it?” Nicole insisted “Tell me”

“Although I’d like to see your face… it is only Carissa’s decision”

“Oh Cassie please”

“I told you you’d see him…” she grinned as she got ready to leave.

“Okay I’ll just guess again. Alisha seemed surprise, so it’s probably someone we don’t expect… so definitely not Pavel” she packed her things as well. “Shit, it has to be Kirk… somehow… maybe he just wants to protect you by not telling everyone that you’re with him… Or it’s Sulu. Maybe he’s just bisexual” on the way to the canteen Nicole kept rambling about the whole matter but luckily she became silent once they reached the canteen and stood in the queue to get their dinner. “Let’s go here” Nicole said, walking past her and sat at a table near the entrance so that she could face it. The brunette shrugged and took a seat opposite her. She had the impression that Nicole wasn’t actually focused on the food and only stared at the entrance. Every time someone entered, there was a curious mien on her face and Carissa’s head shot around. It mostly were cadets, sometimes teachers. After a while she didn’t even turn around anymore. Suddenly Nicole’s jaw dropped and she raised her eyebrows, then she shook her head “Ah never mind”

“What?” Carissa asked, turning around again.

“Our dear old friend Professor Pointy-ear just entered. But whatever he’s doing at the Academy, he must have gotten hungry” now she could indeed spot her boyfriend talking to one of the cooks who didn’t seem very pleased. Once he had his plate, he walked straight past them to sit at the next table. Carissa frowned. Of course, he probably didn’t want to sit with her in public but it still hurt that he acted as if he had not even seen her. She glanced past her friend and stared at Spock who at least nodded at her now. At this she couldn’t help but smile as she looked back to her plate. With a frown, Nicole turned around and shrugged “What’s up with you? One second you look like you’re about to shoot laser from your eyes, the next moment you’re as happy as a lark” she only shrugged and cleared her throat “You know…” Nicole suddenly said “I am starting to believe he forgot about you”

“No he hasn’t”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

“I just know him” she said

“Yes you’re right. He’d first need to go to the library, find Alisha, get told that we’re here. And only then he can come here”

“Yeah” she chuckled.

“Did he tell you what he had to do?”

“No”

“That’s bad because otherwise you could have go looking for him”

“He will find me” Carissa said. Nicole gave a shrug

“So… what is he like?”

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Your boyfriend of course”

“Nicole, I promised to tell you tomorrow”

“Yeah but you don’t have to tell me who it is now. Just tell me what he is like”

“I’d rather not discuss that now”

“Why not?”

“Be-because” she glanced to Spock again who was working something on a PADD. Her friend followed her gaze

“Oh, right Vulcan’s hearing. But hey, I doubt he cares anyway. What does he know of love? They surely only do arranged marriages, I mean that’s most logical.”

“Nicole, please… not now” she buried her head in her hands.

“Cadet Summer, I would like to inform you that your statement about arranged marriages among Vulcans might be true for most of us but there are certain individuals who are in a relationship which is indeed based on the feeling of love”

“A-are you talking to me?” Nicole stuttered turning back to Spock who had looked at from his PADD

“Indeed I am, seeing as there is no other Cadet Summer who made a statement about Vulcan relationships”

“Look, Professor… Commander, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you” she turned back to Carissa “Damn, you were right that wasn’t a good idea…”

“In contrary, I did not interpret your statement as an insult. However, I would like to express my apologies for interrupting your conversation but I was sensing your friend’s discomfort at your words”

“Well uh, thanks then” Nicole said “Come on, let’s go it’s getting far too awkward here” she hissed

“It was not my intention to cause you incommodity through my intervention, so please allow me to clarify the matter”

“Clarify? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole muttered as Spock got up and took a seat next to Carissa.

“After it has occurred to me that you were urging Carissa to tell you about her relationship I found that I could not sit and watch from afar since it was causing her discomfort that traces back to my omission to let her know I am sympathetic to not keeping our relationship secret anymore” Carissa looked at him in surprise. He really was okay with her friends knowing?

“And simply said this means?” Nicole said with a frown then her face lit up “Wait! You-you’re not… oh fuck. How? How did that happen?” the brunette chuckled

“It’s a long story and you said we can discuss this tomorrow”

“Yeah I guess I need some time to… digest that. I must admit, I would have expected everything… but not that. Well, something tells me it was kinda obvious but still…”

“Your friend seems to be quite confused”

“She is. She’s spent the whole day thinking I was dating Pavel Chekov and even viewed a list of the Enterprise’s crewmembers who work on the bridge to find out who else it could be”

“Then I apologize for not having told you more clearly that you may let your friends know. I thought you would come to this conclusion when I offered to meet you at the Academy today where cadets would inevitably see us together”

“Well uh, I kind of thought that but I wasn’t sure if you’re really okay with it. I wanted to ask you first”

“But seeing as our relationship does not need to be kept secret anymore I figured that you would realize I had nothing against you letting your friends know”

“Well that’s sorted out now. Thanks for stepping in, I wouldn’t have known how to break it to Nicole”

“Are you referring to the fact that you were puzzled as which words you should use or the fact that you could not foresee her reaction?”

“Both, I guess” she giggled.

“Okay” Nicole said “My brain’s tired, I’ve got zero idea what you have been talking about but uh… if you want me to leave I can go”

“Please, feel free to remain with us”

“Alright. And I know I promised no questions today… but from what I just saw you two are really close. I mean you only got together a couple of days ago and somehow that’s disturbing me.  He’s Vulcan after all and well… I don’t think they’re um… yeah. And I’m probably not making much sense right now”

“Your argumentation is indeed missing important parts but the overall question can be filtered out”

“Yeah at least if you’re question is why we act like we’ve known each other for a long time?”

“Yes, you don’t seem like a couple that just got together, and he is Vulcan after all, I don’t think they are like that in the beginning” Carissa looked at Spock

“Do you mind if I tell her the truth? I mean everything about us?”

“It would be illogical to not do so and lie especially since Nicole is starting to making conclusions herself already”

“But do you want her to know?”

“I know that it is your wish to tell your friend everything and therefore I could not ask a lie of you. Besides, I will have to tell my friends about us as well, thus I have to accept the fact that the truth cannot be kept secret”

“Okay” Carissa nodded

“Wait, you’re able to understand that? Was that a yes or a no?”

“Technically it was neither” Carissa said “He tried to say that it has to be but as I understand it, he actually is okay with it” she glanced at her boyfriend who confirmed.

“Isn’t that… I don’t know, annoying to interpret all those messages all the time?”

“You get used to it. Plus, I’ve figured out a system. It’s usually the last sentence that counts because that’s the conclusion of what he said”

“Ah that makes sense”

“Anyway, to answer your question… but you need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“Sure”

“Alright, the thing is, we did not actually come together on Sunday… at least not for the first time. We have been together before and we separated”

“Wait, so one year ago… after the mission at Vulcan… the boyfriend that broke up with you…. was him?”

“Yes” Nicole glared at the Vulcan

“Consider yourself lucky she didn’t tell me the truth back then. Because I would have beaten you senseless, professor or not. Do you have any idea what it did to her? You left her when she needed you the most”

“It is good to see that you are such a loyal and supportive friend and I believe I am much obliged to you for taking care of her when I have made a mistake”

“That was sort of an apology and a thank you”

“Apology accepted and you’re welcome. God Carissa, I just hope I’ll never be alone with him. I mean I need you as translator” Carissa chuckled

“Sure. Maybe we can spend some time together this week? I mean after I’ve told you everything” she looked at Nicole who gave a fierce nod “Unless you don’t want that”

“I believe it would be advantageous to hold such a meeting because something is telling me that your friend is determined to assure herself of your happiness with me”

“Great. Shall we find a date right now?”

“Why not?”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa was quite glad when she they had finished eating and she left the Academy with Spock

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait in the library. But we were hungry and I didn’t know when you’d come”

“There is no need to apologize, after all you had let Cadet Baker know about your whereabouts so that I was able to find you”

“You’re right. Is your apartment far?”

“No, it is a walk of 8 minutes and 48 seconds”

“That’s really not much” they walked the greater part of the way in silence. Once they arrived, Blacky came to greet her and Spock told her that she could have his room. “And what about you, where will you sleep? You don’t have a couch or something like that”

“I think I will be able to find an occupation during the night”

“You’re planning on staying awake? No, you’re not doing that because of me. You know what, I’m going back to the Academy to get myself a sleeping bag and then I just sleep on the floor”

“I am in favor of your first idea but I will not allow you to spend the night on the floor”

“Fine then I’ll get you a sleeping bag for the floor”

“Carissa, I believe I am capable of organizing a sleeping bag myself”

“But not today”

“Then I will spend this first night awake. This will not be any problem for me, I promise you that”

“Fine, if you insist… would you mind if I use your shower and get changed?”

“Not at all” after her shower, she put on her new pajama and joined Spock in his kitchen. “The thought that you must have lost your PADD when the USS Vengeance collided with your dorm tower has just occurred to me”

“Oh yeah. But I’ll get a new one from the Academy in a couple of days. Besides, maybe the data can be saved somehow or something from my private PADD.”

“How do you get by until then? I am sure that Starfleet Command expects your report in the course of the week and you will need a PADD to file it”

“I’m sure I’ll find a solution”

“I believe I have found one”

“Which one?”

“I can lend you the PADD I have used during my times of teaching at the Academy”

“But don’t you need that?”

“No, I have received a new one when I resigned to become First Officer onboard the Enterprise”

“Oh, okay. That would be nice”

“If you give me your password I will be able to retrieve your data for you as well”

“Really? I’ll have everything?”

“Maybe not everything. Only what is saved on the Campus server”

“That will be almost everything then. Can you also retrieve my conversations, messages and all?”

“I will try to save as much as I can”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” she kissed his cheek and sat down on the second chair. Blacky jumped into her lap and she started stroking his fur. “And thanks for having me here and looking after Blacky yesterday. It really means a lot to me”

“I must admit, it is indeed pleasant to have you at my apartment, even if it only is temporary and I would like you to… make yourself at home, as you would say” she chuckled

“Believe me, you don’t want to have me behaving like I behave at home” he raised an eyebrow “And speaking of making myself at home… I uh… don’t want to keep you from your evening routine and all. I mean, you don’t need to spend all the time with me if you don’t want to”

“I usually only am here in order to eat, finish work, mediate or sleep”

“Oh well… that explains the furnishing and decoration. Or rather lack thereof. No offense”

“None taken. Is there any routine that you have in the evening?”

“Not really. I mean, I ate at the Academy, went to my dorm and got ready for bed. Sometimes I did some homework, something for myself or talked to Nicole or we played a game before we went to bed”

“If you are interested, I own both a Two- and Three-dimensional chess board”

“Oh hell I suck at 3D chess, you know that. But we can play the other one. With advantages for me of course” since Spock was much better at chess than her, they always agreed that she was allowed a certain advantage like two moves instead of one or that Spock had less pieces. Yet, she had never won, and it was quite frustrating to know that she couldn’t win even if she had advantages. He got up and retrieved everything, setting it down on the table

“Which convenience do you wish today?”

“Uh… can I get your pawns?”

“This would only hinder you from getting your other figures into the middle of the board. May I suggest that your pawns can be reused once when I captured them instead?”

“Alright but you still don’t get your pawns” they put the figures on the board and started playing. By now she already knew his strategy a little and sometimes she could tell when he set up a trap. Not even ten minutes later her king was already in check “Damn” she muttered and after she quickly moved him out of the way

“If I were you I would reconsider that move” Spock only said. She frowned and put the king back, staring at the figures as if they’d tell her the solution. In the end she couldn’t see anything she could do (except for sacrificing her Queen by capturing the knight that held the king in check) so she just moved her king to another square where he was safe. For the next two moves, Carissa had the feeling to have escaped a Check Mate, but four moves later it happened

“What did I do wrong?”

“You should have sacrificed your Queen to rid yourself of my knight, seeing as this was the only way to save your king in the long term”

“But-but… I can’t plan ahead that much… besides, I think the whole purpose of the game is ridiculous… you have to deliberately sacrifice your other figures just to save the king. That’s not fair, it’s not what you’d do in real life. Besides, the king just is a real pussy and doesn’t even deserve to be that important” she crossed her arms and let out a huff. “I’ll organize another game, one where you need luck as well to win, then at least I don’t feel so stupid when I lose because I know it wasn’t just because I’m a bad player”

“You are not a bad player, Carissa. Of course, you could optimize your strategy but you have much improved your performance since our very first game”

“So I’m not a complete failure?”

“Absolutely not. I am certain that you could beat the Captain if you exerted yourself”

“That’s nice to know. Seems like I need to play chess with another human again because you’re right, we’re no match to you or a computer… but I’m gonna get a game of luck anyway and we’ll play that too” he cocked up an eyebrow “Yes I know you don’t believe in luck but you’ll see that you need luck to win a dice game or whatever”

“And do you think it would make you feel better even if you know that you won merely by luck?”

“Yes it would” she muttered and let out a yawn

“Would you like to go to bed?”

“Maybe” she mumbled and got up “Oh err. I guess I should warn you that I’ll probably get nightmares. And since this is a unfamiliar place it can be that I totally freak out even when I wake up” she looked down in embarrassment “It might be silly, but I used to have a bunny plushie, which I had since my childhood and whenever something like that happened, I could just cuddle him and it calmed me down. But-but it was in my dorm and now it’s gone”

“Would you describe my odor as soothing and familiar?”

“I-I guess so. Why?” he got up and pulled off his shirt, handing it to her

“Then I am certain that this will help you” she glanced at him before sniffing his clothes and she felt a smile on her face.

“I’m sure it will. Thank you” she placed a kiss on his cheek “Guess I’ll go then” she mumbled

“Carissa, wait”

“Huh?”

“If you wish me to retrieve your data on my old PADD for you I require your password”

“Oh sure. I’ll write it down” she got a piece of paper from her school supplies and wrote it down “Thank you and good night. Or do you need anything from your room?”

“No, I have everything that I need. Good night, Carissa” she went to the bedroom and closed the door after she made sure that Blacky was inside as well.

-oO0Oo-

Of course she had been right about the nightmares and she awoke with a jolt. Instantly, she her hand was feeling for her plushie and she gasped when she didn’t find it. When she remembered what had happened to it she felt tears in her eyes. Trying to distract herself, she threw a glance at the time on her alarm clock. 2.55 AM. Although it was dark she was sure to have seen a silhouette moving in the corner of the room. A second she considered calling her parents, when she remembered that they weren’t here. She took a deep breath.

“I’m fine. I’m safe” she told herself and buried her head back in the pillow her fingers digging into the blanket after pulling it up halfway over her face. Suddenly she remembered Spock’s shirt which she pressed against her chest and curled herself up around it, holding onto it like it was her life ring. Tears were in her eyes and before she knew it, she was silently sobbing because of her dream. There was a strange sound that alerted her and she only wished to be back home or at least in her dorm. When she heard a knock at the door she shot up, frantically looking if there was a place to hide. On the other hand, would someone who wanted her evil knock? When she heard Spock calling her name she breathed out in relief and sobbed his in return. The door opened, her boyfriend entered and took a seat on the bed. Instantly she scrambled up and wrapped her arms around him, nestling against him as close as she could

“Am I right to assume that a nightmare has unsettled you?”

“Yes”

“Do you think it would help if you told me about it?”

“I can do that” she sniffed “I don’t remember everything… but I was at the Academy with Nicole and I guess it was Alisha… they left and I wanted to do something else. That’s when I saw A-admiral Marcus. And he was shaking hands with someone. I-I think it was Nero. They talked and somehow I couldn’t hear them but I knew that they wanted to destroy the Enterprise. So I tried to leave and warn you, but they saw me and dragged me onto a ship’s bridge. I guess it was the Vengeance. Nero set up a transmission and I saw the Enterprise. Marcus told me that he only wanted to know who my boyfriend was and they’d let the Enterprise go. But I couldn’t tell them and one of them said that there is nothing I could do to save you – I mean the Enterprise – and the Vengeance started firing on you and we all were driven towards a black hole. Nicole and Blacky were on that other ship as well. I-I tried to tell Nero and Marcus to stop it and told them what they wanted to know but they said it was too late now and-and I could do nothing except watch how you all died. Then I was back at the Academy and everyone kept asking where Nicole is, so I tried to lie and say she went home be-because I had the hope you would all return somehow. Then we were told that Admiral Marcus was dead and I was blamed for it because the Vengeance crashed and I was on the ship at the time. So I had to go to a trial which was led by Khan and he threatened to kill me if I lied. And I guess then I woke up” he said nothing for a while

“I do not have much experience with nightmares but I believe it could help if you list everything that was illogical or could not happen in any case” she sniffed and did as he said

“I guess it’s better” she said after she was done “But Spock. Can-can you stay here for a while and distract me? Tell me anything that has nothing to do with this”

“The illustration of the giraffes on your nightclothes is inaccurate”

“Why that?”

“Their tongue should be blue rather than pink and the tip is not round but pointy” she felt his forefinger stroking over one of the giraffes on her pajama trousers

“I’ve heard about the blue tongue before” she said “But I think pink fits the color of the cloth and the giraffes better. Besides it’s cute. Just look at their eyes. Or the ones that are cuddling” she looked down and pointed at two giraffes who’s necks where touching.

“As a matter of fact they are engaged in a combat that is supposed to establish dominance”

“What?”

“This is a ritual known under the name ‘low intensify necking’ in which the males rub their necks against each other and the one that has a more secure stand wins”

“Oh” she let out a small giggle “Do you think we should tell the manufacturers about this?”

“I can imagine they would not be pleased to hear of this”

“Hmm. Well we can take care of the tongue ourselves… we can just color them with a blue pen. And then I’ll take a red pen and draw a heart above the fighting ones so that it looks like they’re in love anyway” she mumbled as she leaned her head back against his chest and placed a hand over his heart.

“If the accuracy of the illustrations is that important to you I will see to it that you receive the writing supplies you asked for”

“No, it’s fine. I was joking. But you better not try and make the changes while I’m asleep” she chuckled “Because if you do, I’m gonna draw on your face while you’re asleep” a yawn left her mouth “Did I ever tell you how glad I am to have you?”

“You have made hints in that direction before” his hand started stroking her head and she instantly felt calming down.

“If you do what with Blacky he starts purring”

“I have made that discovery yesterday evening”

“A pity I missed that”

-

Next Chapter

[eeveecrmchl]

DISCORD THREAD | EEVEE X VULCAN:

feat: @eeveecrmchl​ & @ellisvulcan​

summary: eevee gets jealous.

tw: drugs, eevee being a hypocrite

Eevee: It’s a common occurrence that Eevee feels stupid, but the fact that she’s been warned as well as personally seeing the messages exchanged in the group chat and still she let herself think that she was still special enough in V’s life? That’s a whole new level. So falling asleep to Tee’s warnings and waking up to what he kept mentioning did not sit right with the woman, her chest feeling heavy remembering the nights shared and now wondering how many girls were in between them. Tequila and molly provide the perfect combination to forget; while she’s been told to stop popping pills with alcohol, she figures this is good a time as any to break the rules. Stereo on high, Eevee lays her head back against the arm rest of her couch, eyes fluttering close as she mumbles through whatever lyrics she thinks she’s hearing. Her phone lays by the coffee table, ignored. She really doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now; not while she’s like this. Her excuse for a nap should hopefully keep Tee at bay and maybe ignoring V would do the same.

Vulcan: "Where do you think I messed up this time, bud? I should stop doing that." His newly adopted dog just replies with a bark. "I'm going crazy." Crazy and worried. Eevee just ignored his last message, and she's been pushing him away ever since he sent a message of him and his dog in the group chat. He doesn't have a name with him yet, he cannot be trusted with giving names. He kept on staring down at his phone before glancing back up with the road with his dog just looking at him curiously. He closed up shop, worrying about her state right now, he took her spare key with him just in case she doesn't open up. Good thing the traffic around town isn't that heavy at this time of day and his drive is quick. "Wish me luck?" He whispers to the dog before picking him up in his arms and rushes to her door. Knocking thrice, no response. He fishes for the key in his pocket and unlocks the door, walking in and immediately noticing Eevee on the couch. "Don't make a mess, okay? We gotta look after her." He puts him down before walking up to the couch, immediately taking her hand to hold. "Eevee....baby...."

Eevee: The thing about mixing an upper with a depressant is that sometimes, the latter wins out which is how Eevee finds herself not truly registering the sound of the door opening until she feels someone’s hand on hers. Reflex has her flinching, bolting up right. Upon seeing Vulcan, she wonders when the fuck the molly is supposed to hit because she should be euphoric by now. Fake happiness is better than her current state. Eyes wide, she tilts her head in confusion with a quick passing thought of this might be a hallucination. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s imagined V during one of her trips. She’s pretty sure she took too much tequila because, “don’t call me baby” is pulled from her much too slowly. Or at least she thinks it’s slow. Is she talking normally? There’s a flash of something moving in her peripherals and her eyes land on the dog. “Oh.” And her chest hurts because fuck, he’d really bring in the thing he bought with someone into her home? Maybe her prediction of V fucking someone in her kitchen might come true. The thought of it makes her laugh and she must look crazy but at this point she doesn’t even care. “What are — what are you doing here,” she manages out in between giggles.

Vulcan: Upon seeing Eevee, he knew she was the complete opposite of being sober right now. That even worried him more. He lets out a deep sigh at her telling him not to call her baby, taking her hand away from his. Vulcan doesn't even notice his dog has followed him to her side until he heard a tiny bark. "Yeah, bud. This is her." He might've already rambled to a dog who surely wouldn't understand him about how the girl's better than him at giving names, how she'd love him. The dog does have an adorable smile that made the mechanic adopt him without thinking twice. He pets him before turning back to the girl who was now giggling. "You worried me, Eevee. I just had to come over and check up on you--used your key, I hope you don't mind." He frowns.

Eevee: “I’m fine,” is the automatic response that comes from the woman. It’s the same thing she’s told everyone all her life. Hey Eevee, how are you dealing with your mom’s death? I’m fine. Hey Eevee, I heard your dad remarried; are you okay? I’m fine. Eevee, Vulcan left you. I’m fine And there she sits in front of the only man that’s made her vulnerable enough to feel but she gives him the standard lie she’s been trying to let herself believe. “You checked up on me and I’m good. You can go now.” She doesn’t mean to be cruel but having him close by is just another reminder of how stupid she’s being. “Go back to whoever it is for the day,” she throws, hurt obvious in her tone. “Do I get the night time? Am I that special? Come here to get your quick fuck before the next one?” Her voice shakes and she’s still unable to look him in the eye. “Or is it my turn now,” and with that she wrestles off her shirt, standing to try and tug him towards the bedroom. “Come on, let me make you feel good in my allotted time slot.”

Vulcan: "Eevee." He repeats her name, emphasizing the worry in his voice this time. Vulcan is slowly coming to understand what might've caused this, what does that text mean, mentioning Angel and Claudia. Then he realized...He doesn't even to word it all out in his head right now. He quickly snaps out of his thoughts when Eevee suddenly starts tugging him towards her bedroom. "Whatever you're thinking, Eevee. That's not it." He put both of his hands on her arms, stopping her from taking him to her room. "I...I asked for Camelia's help with the shelter today. I don't have a time table, you're not some allotted time slot. Eevee...you're so much more to me than just a quick fuck." He pleadingly looks into her eyes. "I'm not here for that. I'm here to take care of you. I'm genuinely worried."

Eevee: Eevee refuses to look at him, flinching when he says her name. At his explanation, the denial practically screams through her but she keeps quiet. Maybe if she pretends, maybe if she acts like it’s okay, it will be. “I believe you.” She doesn’t. Eevee takes a step back from him, wrapping her own arms around her frame. She’s never felt so small before and while the rational part of her brain is telling her that his rejection at her offer is because she’s being like this, she can’t help but think it’s because she’s not them. “I’m sorry.” Eevee doesn’t know what for but she’d rather him think her normal than jealous at something she doesn’t even have the right to. She finally takes note of the puppy, intent on putting all her focus on him. “What a cutie,” her voice doesn’t even sound like hers anymore, but she can fake it. “You still haven’t thought of a name?”

Vulcan: For the amount of time they've known each other, how intimate they used to be, Vulcan knew Eevee was pretending, making him believe that she's doing okay. She's obviously on one of her trips, he doesn't even need to ask her. "Do you really, Eevee?" He couldn't help but ask, but he didn't want to poke on about it now and make things worse. He sighs frustratingly, running his fingers through his her. Then she just switches the topic to his dog, who looks like he has been curiously watched the both of them. "Yeah--I thought you'd love him the second I got him. He's got an adorable smile." He slips his hands in his pockets, looking down to his feet. "Hmm, you remember how bad I am on thinking names." He shakes his head to himself. "Eevee I--I'm doing my best to fix this, I'm making it up to you."

Eevee: “Yes, I do,” the lie comes out naturally. Were she a little more sober, she’d realize that Vulcan knows her well enough when she does so, but right now, all she can think of is to forget. She keeps her eyes on the dog; he really did have an adorable smile. Bending down to let him approach her, she can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah. I can only guess what you’ve already thought of.” Looking back up at V, she frowns at the sight of him. Looks like her plan isn’t working and so she goes for next bet: distract. Taking a standing position, she nears the man, wraps her arms around his waist and buries her head on his chest. It hurts, knowing that it’s probably different for her, but she turns her face towards him anyway, pushing herself up to press her lips against his. “No need to fix anything,” she tries to reassure him, hating herself a little for loving the way he feels this close. “Come on. We’re fine now.”

Vulcan: "I cannot name him after a car brand, he's just too cute for that. He deserves a better name, and I think you can give him that. Right bud?" He swears this dog can understand humans just with the way he lets out a small bark in response to his question. Vulcan just knows when Eevee is pretending or trying to distracting him from whatever's going on, especially the fact that she's on a trip right now. It might've been a year, but he hasn't forgotten anything about her. He holds her close as she hugged him, letting out a defeated sigh. This hurts him, and he just wanted her to know how up to this day, she's still the one who owns his heart. Yet he knew this isn't the right timing. He kisses her back, then pulls away to burrow his face on her neck. "I'm still worried, Eevee."

Eevee: Eevee smiles at Vulcan’s attempt at talking to the dog, but the situation keeps her from acting all out on it -- like join him in the conversation. “Car brands are kind of cute? I like Chevrolet. Sounds fancy.” She knows that it’s not over yet, that her little bouts of jealousy would come up in conversation later. Eevee also knows that she shouldn’t think herself too special. She’s just an ex; she needs to remember that. “Don’t be,” she pulls back a little, eyes locked in with his. “I’m fine.” Letting go, she pays attention to the dog once more, scooping the puppy up into her arms. Eevee wants to ask why he would need a dog but thinking that he’s probably sharing it with someone or — oh God — is he coparenting with one of his other girls? Shaking the thought away, she takes a seat on her couch. “Did you want it car themed?”

Vulcan: "Car themed? Yeah. I kind of want that, it kind of fits for him and for me?" Vulcan decided not to press furthermore on the topic anymore.  "Chevrolet--Yeah, and we can call him Chevie, that's adorable. Our little Chevie. You like that bud?" He asks while he walks over to the couch, sitting beside her. He takes her hand which has 'baby girl' tattooed, lightly kissing it with his warm brown eyes staring into her green ones. "I got him because it's been too quiet a home for a very long time now. I thought having him would lessen the feeling of being alone, and had a feeling that you'd love him." Vulcan pets the pomeranian in her arms. "I think he's not complaining about the name 'Chevie'. What do you think, baby?"

Eevee: Eevee is grateful for the change in topic, knowing that this jealousy is something she’d rather deal with on her own under copious amount of alcohol and hopefully some coke she can buy from a few of her old hookups. It’s the Carmichael way of dealing with problems: complete denial. “Chevie sounds nice,” she agrees, repeating it softly so the pup would know. Her eyes follow the way he takes her hand, momentarily forgetting that she had his nick name for her tattooed. Lips press down and God, all Eevee wants to do is cry because just how many girls does he make feel this way? Instead she offers him a small smile, nodding in agreement about the name. “I mean there’s really no other car name I can think of.”

Vulcan: “Chevie. You happy with that?” This is one of so many things Vulcan imagined doing with Eevee. There’s just so many things in his head that made him yearn for her a lot, which hurts because those just stayed as thoughts because of her father pushing him to break things off with her and pretend as if she never existed in his life in the first place. He had to pretend, but deep inside, for the past year, he felt shreds of him dying. It’s funny how the kiss they’ve shared for the first time in a year can do so much for him. “I’m not naming yung Mustang, little bud. That just doesn’t fit you.”