#also I saw that tag about redrawing I will. that is not a joke

[quickfixinator]

wow I love them

Resting in the snipers nest.

[evernkillian]

Tomarry/Harrymort Fanfiction Recs | One- Shot Edition; Part 1

Standard Rec Lists Disclaimers Apply: Please for the love of God read the tags and Author's Note/s, This is NOT the ultimate rec lists or whatever, the fics below are my cup of tea.

Also, I tried my best to make the Quotes I included spoiler free but if you think it is just tell me!

(also I have more fic recs! Here)

🍄🍄🍄

1. naïve melody by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts

G | 2.9k Words

Summary: “You invited me to go to a fair with you,” Voldemort says levelly. “Because we’re going to battle to the death soon.”

Well, when he puts it like that.

Fluff beloved. They understand each other the way only enemies can. Voldemort as the Drama Expert™ also accidental date 👀

Voldemort returns, looking punchably smug and carrying the largest stuffed lion Harry has ever seen. Competitive git. Harry holds his stuffed snake a little tighter and ignores the feeling of rejection. He’d meant it as a joke, anyway; there’s nothing to be disappointed about. Voldemort clears his throat. “I propose a trade.” And he holds out the stuffed lion to Harry, his other hand gesturing for the snake. Oh. Harry hands over the snake hesitantly and accepts the lion in turn. Did we just win each other stuffed animals? he thinks.

2. Breaking More Taboos by Destiny_Of_A_Dragon

M | 3.3k Words

Summary: The first time Harry broke the taboo, he’d been beyond starving, with little to no choice. The second and third times were much the same.

But the fourth?

That’s when everything changed.

I KNOW I RAVED ABOUT IT ALREADY BUT. IT DESERVES REPEATING. LIKE PLS. THIS FIC HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD AJSVSHSBSHSH. Also, Deliciously Dark Harry. Voldemort saw that darkness, and moved. When I crave dark Harry who's oblivious he's dark- I read this. Sadly no favorite quote since spoilers 😔

3. Roads Untaken by wynnebat (@wynnefic)

T | 3k Words

Summary: Harry wanted to be outraged on behalf of the castle that he still considered to be his home. Hogwarts didn't deserve to have a piece of Tom Riddle lodged inside it like a particularly vicious splinter.

But there was something he was annoyed about even more than the fact that he was once again alive at the same time as a once and future dark lord. For the first time in his life, he sympathized with Voldemort, and knew that in this one instance, Voldemort might sympathize with him.

Harry looked at Tom head-on, and said, "Albus Dumbledore is a bastard."

*

Both turned down for the position of Hogwarts DADA professor, Tom and Harry have a few things to say to each other.

Ahvshsvs laughing at Dumbledore in this fic. "I am happy to have done right by you.", He says, while making another mistake. Aberforth, Tom & Harry bonding over insulting Albus. They got drunk and planned to build a new school- it was hilarious.

"Do you want to grab a drink at the Hog's Head? Dumbledore's brother works there. He can join us in insulting Dumbledore."

4. V Is For Vampire by duplicity (@duplicitywrites )

T | 13k Words

Summary: One cursed night over seventy years ago, Harry agreed to bite Tom and turn him into a vampire. Flash forward to today, when Tom hires a rag-tag group of starving film students to film a documentary about their lives as two totally platonic vampire pals.

Because Tom thinks their life as vampires is interesting enough for mainstream media.

Because he’s crazy.

Harry should have just let Tom die of old age like any other sane person would have done.

What really endeared me to the Vampire Harry and/or Vampire Tom troupe. COFFIN SHOPPING!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) They're idiots who love each other very much. You know that love strengthened, and deepened with time? Yeah, like that. They're everything for each other. I love the whole crew (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠). Harry's endearing habit of knitting clothes for Tom. Artist Harry who draws (or redraws, as Tom makes a...sketch first) Tom's coffin designs ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ. Vampire Ollivander [insert shaky eyes]. Ginny is our lord and savior for putting up with these idiots. Ron Weasley is also our savior- because of him there are no....casualties. Jealous Tom [insert shaky red eyes]. Fluff- seriously, I read this when I need a pick me up (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠��⁠˘⁠)⁠♥. Also Honorary mention to Tom Riddle's Hair Curl™

Harry laid a hand on Tom’s chest and said, “Okay.” Tom’s anger floundered, replaced with confusion. The harsh, inhuman lines of his face smoothed out as he tilted back, withdrawing from Harry’s touch like it had burned him. “I said okay,” Harry told him. “I do have you, don’t I? You’re right. I choose to be here, with you, and I’ve done that for about seventy years now.”

5. Sola Fide by crowthing (@crowcrowcrowthing )

M | 7.9k Words

Summary: Surely what he was dealing with was some level of deity, because quite suddenly the man was standing in front of him. No trace of apparition, no burst of speed. The man had parted through space and now towered over him, translucent and human-like.

Harry offered up his bleeding hand.

Hermit Harry- still magical, though. His lifestyle is so calming, no kidding (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠). I love the world building (?) In it where it shows his simple life. Love the cute niffler and the gnome family (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠). Harry taking care of his magical garden and Voldemort supplying the rare seeds ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ. *Screams* BWVSSGSVSGSGGS VEE AND HARRY'S RELATIONSHIP IS JUST 👌. Mutual Devotion [insert vibing emoji].

Blood glared against pale skin, ruby-bright, gathering in bunches and trickling down a bare chest. The man was so much taller than Harry, so much more, even while still so insubstantial. He eclipsed the world, staring down with those red, unblinking eyes and such pale, scaled skin.

He leaned in to rasp into Harry’s ear, “Worship me.”

[alex-a-fans]

BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

AAA THANK YOU @cheriboms AND @bttf-dork FOR TAGGING ME!!

This year:

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Too many times to count...

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!

Yes! BTTF Playmobil advent calendar and an off-brand Funko pop Doc!

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

Pepsi free? None. Normal Pepsi on the other hand.... Over 50 cans for sure.

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

There were so many good ones, but if I had to choose... I choose 3!

Oh, How the World has Changed by @itsthemorph I just love the idea of Clara in 1985, even if it's only one chapter, I am sure the other parts will be great :)

June of Doom: let the Suffering Begin by @unknooooow. Now these ones are dark. They have become my Roman Empire, so I think about it once every few days. But again, I love angst, especially realistic. :)

Double Visions by @daryfromthefuture. While there were many good ones this one stuck out due to it having the talk of Citizen Brown (the not-so-silly doc). And it's also very touching and captures the friendship spirit greatly!

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

AGAIN MANY GOOD ONES.

this one by @future-boi LITTLE MARTY LITTLE MARTY

this one by @maxintime Cause Browns my beloved <3

this one by @bttf-dork (do u have any idea how long it took for me to find it, I thought I imagined it) THE COLORS, THE SHAPES AAA.

This one by @cheriboms The silly, the goofy, the little Baby Emmett (I WILL EAT THE FANART)

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

My time to shine :) /j

I am especially proud of June of Doom chapter 11 (Better known as Doc Has a Stroke literally). It took me two months to write, and it is still the longest one chapter I ever wrote (3k words). Also! I am afraid of hospitals and blood, so I have no idea how I wrote it. Also believe it or not, it was inspired by the animated series...

One more writing project I am proud of is Alteration. It is not because of how much I wrote, but how much I am still planning, and how many Ideas I have for it. I have every single detail planned :)

With art it's a bit more tricky. Since I am not THAT proud of any of them, but BTTF 2 end scene redraw is still one of my favs :)

How many times were you late for school this year?

At least three times, due to reasons outside of my control. But I hate being late.

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

My Favourite Martian (1999) Where Lloyd plays an Alien. I watched it because of my silly alien doc au. And I had an amazing angst idea out of it (I wrote it for June of Doom)

That is about it...

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

In the car. My parents are tired of me ranting about BTTF so Imagine me (not a singer) scream-singing Back In Time. :DDD

How many times did you fall down this year?

Honestly, either I didn't. Or I did too many times to count. Cause I don't remember

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

No...

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

Not many, maybe once.

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

This one is the toughest.

It will either be "I repeat, Verne, this is a fool's errand." "Does that mean you're coming?" I always tagged along when I knew my friend was making a dumb decision.

Or “Why do we have to cut these things so damn close?”

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

To the dance, I even went as Marty McFly. (Even if it was 80' themed I did not win, they did not get the joke :(

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

More art. Even more angsty fanfiction :)

I am tagging @unknooooow and I believe everyone else has been tagged. Maybe @jayisnotdrawing @bri-to-the-future @brinkle-brackle and @bentothefuturee @pine-killer55

Game by: @mjf-af

[rrosyan]

Tagged by @saikkunen. Thanks a lot, I like doing stuff like this and it’s been a while :3

What book are you currently reading? Brisingr (for those who’ve never heard of it, the third book in the series Eragon starts). I’ve read it few times before, but it’s been a while since I last did it. Still love the series. Also there’s Mariel of Redwall, with which I’ve been stuck for more than six months now. It is dangerous to re-read a book for a millionth of time when you remember that oh no, next is the part you don’t care about.

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? I only went to see one movie in theaters in 2022 (yeah it’s already 2023, shut up), and it was Sonic 2. I did go see it 3 whopping times, so it’s pretty safe to say it’d be my favourite even if there were any others.

What do you usually wear? Uhhhh hoodies, fitting tank tops or t-shirts, loose pants. Colors vary, mostly black but there can be others.

How tall are you? 169cm.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Libra. I do not know, Trafalgar Law from One Piece is close enough to a celebrity for me.

Do you go by your name or nickname? I choose to think this refers to irl, so name. My dad is literally the only one to ever call me nicknames or pet names.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? I never really wanted to be anything but a tango queen when I was a kid, and that was when I was 4 or so. So, I guess ‘no idea’ came true.

Are you in a relationship? If not who is your crush if you have one? Nope. Also no crushes.

What’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at? Uhhh I guess I’m kinda good at drawing and writing? Maybe? Good is such a vague term. I do enjoy those, and I think that’s more important than being ‘’’good’‘‘ at things. I am bad at playing any instruments. Too many things you’re supposed to do simultaneously with your body.

Dogs or cats? Cats!!!! Dogs are also good, but cats make me more stupidly happy than any other creatures I’ve met.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? I have drawn some pretty good pictures this year, but I haven’t posted them online and I don’t feel like doing that now either. I do enjoy one undead wolf knight thingy I drew. I also like (still partly wip) doll’s bed I made a lot. I have written a lot, but isolating a single line is impossible.

What’s something you would like to create content for? Currently I’d like to doodle all of my favourite One Piece characters, but we’ll see when I’ll get to that. I have also been redrawing my oldest ocs with the same kids’ color pencils and other stuff as 20 years ago, and it’s been lots of fun. Overall I wanna work on my original projects more.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Stardew Valley and Sonic Frontiers. Too bad I already completed the latter, I am waiting for the dlc’s to come. Also obsessed about my original projects.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? Dissapointment is for those who do not know how to keep their expectations and excitement realistic. Jokes aside, I am honestly fairly good at being realistic about things I’m interested in, and it is a very rare occasion I am actually dissapointed about something I was excited for first, and it didn’t happen in 2022.

What’s a hidden talent of yours? It wouldn’t be hidden if I told you, would it. Tbh, I have no idea. Organizing material things maybe? Keep your timetables and whatnot away from me, but let me rearrange those messy drawers and closets of yours.

Are you religious? Nah. I am slightly spiritual pagan of my own brand though.

Whats something you wish to have at this moment? Does not-ill body and mind free of constant anxiety count? If not, then Freedom Planet 2 Switch port would be nice, but that won’t be out before next summer.

Tagging: Nah, don’t really feel like atm. If you wanna do this, consider yourself tagged.

[moonsoupstar-ao3]

Chapter 8 already! Oh boy, oh boy

Some implied spoilers for the manga (if you know, you know), and some Spanish here and there

I love the opening so much

I saw a few screenshots before the chapter lmao

I really don't mind spoilers personally so it's fine, it wasn't people's fault either, I looked into the aoex tag here for a fanart and compulsively scrolled down like an idiot

ALRIGHT, TIME FOR THE CHAPTER

to be honest, I didn't feel like watching anything today, but I thought 'oh, I won't turn on the laptop tonight, so I better watch now'

Pls don't be ugly, pls don't be ugly, pls don't be ugly

THEY BETTER HAD PUT SOME BUDGET ON THE ENEMIES THIS TIME

LUCIFER'S VOICEEEEEEEEEE

As much as I hate the pig, he's so valid for reacting like that to Lucifer's body fr

Second hand embarrassment though

I turned down the light instead of the sound ssjshdjskd

JWHDKSKDBDN POR QUÉ TAN TIESOS SKDBDN

Everyone else is having homophobic thoughts hearing the pig

And I'm too

Pls just kill him already

I KNOW THE BLONDE TWINS ARE, WELL, TWINS NO SHIT

But their designs make me laugh a bit, is literally minimal changes in clothes and faces

If you look carefully, they actually did the draw each one, but there are also obvious parts where they just copy, paste and redraw a bit (no shame)

Lucifer looks like a very tired cat (and a bit traumatized either)

He's talking about Rin like he's a lost pet aksbdjd

"I'll return him to Samael personally."

"But he also belongs to our god, my father. I cannot act without his permission."

QUE NO CERDO, YA TE DIJO QUE NO

He's so sure Rin's so strong only he (Lucifer) can defeat him (in the lab)

I love him

Shima my baby, of course you'll be an amazing model with that attitude /srs

The pig looks so disgusted (shaming)

Lucifer tiene los ojos chuecos skdvkdnd

"Soft heart..." HE GOT A SECOND OF PSTD AKDHDJND

Geeez, even I felt that cough

He's trying so hard to make up for what he did (YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT)

DELUSION TIME

(That pig literally got ONE order "don't kill Rin", and what does he thinks is the best decision to covered Izumo's test results? Kill Rin! Fucking idiot, I can't wait for him to die)

That pig so gay fr

I mean, can't blame him, when Lucifer had such a voice

Almost nine minutes already, yikes

Ugh, that was NOT sensory friendly lmao

ALRIGHT, THEY DID PUT THE BUDGET HERE

YOU CAN DO IT KONEKO (spent two minutes trying to remembered his name)

I like the detail of the bite mark on his head

RUN RUN RUN RUN

Oh boy, those are some teeth

KURO'S SCREENTIME

"Shiny-smooth baldly" LMAO

I love that since none of them can understand demons (aside from Rin), they misunderstand Kuro's intentions for something selfless instead of 'me hungry, go get my human so he can feed me'

I don't think Kuro realized it either?

Also if you put attention, you can hear how they heard Kuro's 'speaking'

Yukio my little genius

Smart boy praising smart boy, that's what I came here for

OH, TO EXCHANGE LOOKS WITH YOUR SPY FRIEND HAHAHAHAH

Not Shiemi scaring the zombie ajhdjdkd

SUGURO'S BAZOOKAAAAAAAAA SCENE YES BABY

SHIMA WITH BROWN HAIR

My baby looked (and was) so young /crying

GO BON GO

I feel so bad for the zombies though, they didn't ask for it nor have a choice, they didn't even realize in what state their bodies are

Challenge 'stop putting overwhelming pressure over kids that didn't ask for the position nor blood in their veins', impossible!!

Half joking half not

NOT THE WORTH ISSUES, I'M NOT MENTALLY STABLE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW

I love that they portrayed the whole ritual so tenderly, soft speaking, a gentle touch

There's no reason to fight, just let it go

"I have to be on the side of the humans! Otherwise—"

I feel you Rin, I feel you

THE MUSIC, THE MUSIC

IS THE SAME THEY USED FOR THE FIGHT AGAINST THE IMPURE KING

"You're late!"

"Glad to see you again too!"

Tism moment with that sound hahan't

NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU CAN'T END IT HERE

CRYING, KICKING, SCREAMING

I can't wait another week wewewewe

I think next one it'll include the pig dead for sure, but I'm not holding my hopes too up

I think it'll be Izumo's mother dead too

I started watching aoex season 3

So I decided to share my thoughts as I see the chapters (NOT SPOILER FREE)

Chapter 1:

not a full fan of the new art style but not a hater either

can't forgive them for taking away my troll clown though

also the voice, dunno, maybe I'm remembering the voice wrong in past seasons but yeah, not for me (especially when he says "eins, zwei, drei" I just feel like is the wrong tone)

also, I love the pace of the chapter but am really bitter that they cut the bestism (Angel & Lightning) first show time together so short

THE GEHENNA SCENE WAS SOOOOOO, loved the light hint to trigger response from Rin

uhhhhh what else....

THE SHAPESHIFTER BATTLE

so, so good, when Rin, Izumo, and Shima attacked and the camera was moving I didn't know where to look at

I'MMA FIGHT WITH MY BARE HANDS ANYONE WHO DARES SAYS MY BOY RIN ISN'T SMART AFTER THIS SEASON

alright then, time for chapter 2 :D

[crampdown]

got tagged by @thespiritofvexation @see-sawed and @lovely-menza (thaaanks :D) to answer some lovely questions~

1. Why did you choose your url?

I love the song “Clampdown” by The Clash almost as much as I love horrendous puns. And that’s how I got to a name that’s basically a period joke :^>

2. Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

Nah. But I am thinking of eventually creating a side blog since I’ve been drawing a lot of original stuff lately and not the fanart doodles that got me most of my followers in the first place. But I’m currently too lazy to make a new blog

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Let’s say I’ve been aware of this infamous hellsite since 2016 mostly for some artists I liked back then. But I didn’t make an own account until late 2018 before finally posting stuff in 2019.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I’ll spam ten to twenty rbs in a row and then vanish for the next three days again

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Because I gained interest in everything classic rock back in summer 2018. I’ve always enjoyed this kind of music but didn’t bother to learn anything about the  musician in question least of all their NAME up until this point. But the “Yellow Submarine” film won me over and before I knew better, I started doodling the Beatles :^) however it would take me more than half a year before I finally gathered the courage to upload my drawings somewhere. At this point I’ve already gotten into Pink Floyd (cause I used some of their music as inspiration for a short comic but that’s another story). FUN FACT: Me being a music dummy not knowing anything about certain subgenres looked up “How do I tag Pink Floyd? Like, what are they?? Prog? Dunno what that is but okay! Gonna write that in the tags :D” And that’s how I accidentally catapulted myself into the prog niche of the Classic Rock Fandom. Hi.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It’s the ugly-ass-sort-of-mascot-rabbit that originated from a three year old doodle of mine when I wanted to draw a furry parody, anthropomorphic rabbit but as disgusting as possible, sloppy schlong and all that jazz :^). But since you can’t see him in my header thanks to the ink bottle, he’s quite the looker. Also I love inking the most when it comes to arting around.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Made it myself and still am quite proud of it ^^

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

To this day still that one inktober drawing featuring the Maxwell’s Silver Hammer Recording session :D

9. How many mutuals do you have?

tbh the exact definition of “mutual” is beyond me so I’m not sure. Let’s just say there are definitely some people I love appearing on my dash

10. How many followers do you have?

495 as we speak ^^

11. How many people do you follow?

52 blogs respectively because I always need some time and consideration before following anyone

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I’m sure there are some cartoons I made counting as shitposts, at least that’s the category I’d put in any sort of meme redraw

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

depends.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Sometimes “hOt tAkEs” will randomly appear on my dash and some of them really make my blood boil but not to the point I’d actually bother to interact with them. I just hate online drama way too much. Everytime I see internet discourse completely escalating about the most abstract of concepts I just wish these people would actually spend some time outside.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Oh speaking of random things on my dash that make my blood boil....! I wish :) everyone participating in :) blatant emotional manipulation :) a very pleasant “hope you’ll wet your sleeves while washing hands” :)

16. Do you like tag games?

yes ^^

17. Do you like ask games?

yeeeeess 

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I thought the general opinion on tumblr fame is that it’s basically worthless? 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t think so? However I love the things you people create <3

20. Tags

gonna tag: @catfacedcryptid @nolavulpina @taterpie @raptorcat1960 @mothmanghost @melloclastic and everyone who feels like it :)

[billyboymiki]

5 Works Tag Game

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and post or link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I got tagged by @tippenfunkaport and @caramelaire for this tag game!!

I’m not one to compliment myself on anything honestly. Recently I remember thinking about how I barely drew anything this year. There was a part of my brain nagging at me to check how much I had drawn last year. So, I uh did. Turns out I drew basically nothing?! I triple checked this in fact. My DeviantART, Tumblr AND my camera roll. Nothing . . . I drew 5 very basic pinback button designs and that was it. I couldn’t believe it; but, it made be feel so much better about what I did this year. Basically my whole instagram is all artwork from this year, since I am actually really new to IG. I got super close to 40 works this year!

Now onto the works! They are in order of when I drew them 😊

Glimmer Inspired Patterns

I wanted to teach myself how to make patterns on Clip Studio so bad! I watched a couple of YT tutorials, and I can’t even remember why I decided to make She-ra ones specifically; I’m glad I did though! The Glimmer one means so much to me. Just looking at makes me so happy! The fact that so many people have now called it ‘aesthetically pleasing’ makes me feel as though I actually created a work that others could relate to. That was enough praise for me; to create something for myself that everyone else loved as well 💖

Glimbow Cuddle

This was my first real She-ra artwork. When I saw there was a Glimbow Week again I knew I had to join this one. I don’t know if anyone knows this; but, drawings take me forever to make. I used to be strictly a traditional artist and still prefer to draw rough drafts on paper. I couldn’t decide if I wanted them on Glimmer’s window seat or in Bow’s dads’ library. I was afraid of doing backgrounds; so, both sounded absolutely terrifying. I decided to go for the fireplace even if it meant fancy lighting on top of the background aspect. I think I actually spent more time on the lighting that’s hitting Bow than on anything else in this picture. It was worth it though. I studied how the show did backgrounds and lighting for a while. I tried so many different attempts at how I wanted it to look and ultimately went with this one! I love it so much 🥺

Bow’s list with doodles

Ah, yes the drawings I did for Tippen’s birthday!! I knew I wanted to draw a scene from ‘Tuna Cans’, but I was worried to try something like this. You see, I’m somebody that likes to stay in a comfort zone and only uploaded fully rendered perfect artworks. This year was the first time that I let the ‘fun’ aspect overrule my perfectionism. I’m so happy that I stepped out of my comfort zone for this, because I love Chibi styles so much. I can’t even explain the absolute joy I had drawing these. I didn’t tell anyone what I was up to, so it was just me laughing at myself for being an absolute goofball. The end result and everyone’s reactions were more than I could have ever expected. I’ve decided I’m going to revive this style soon as well so please look forwards to it!!

Space Suit Squad

Okay, so I cheated a little with this one! I couldn’t just pick ONE of the squad. Honestly though, I drew these with the thought of making them into prints in the back of my mind. I taught myself how to draw a space background and I’m really proud of it! So much in fact that the one in the final pictures is the first and last one I ended up doing! If I had to pick my favorites I think I’d have to pick Glimmer, Bow and then Catra. I LOVE the way I draw Catra I don’t know why? Maybe the eyebrows I’m not sure 🤔 It took me a while to decide on expressions and poses; although, I figured these were the ones because I could look at them and go ‘yep that’s them.’

Winter Glimbow

This one took me soooo long; I actually had to tell myself that I should put my pen down because it was done and I should stop touching it!!! I was sketching pictures in my sketchbook to make more patterns for my Redbubble account, and of course I’m like 100% Glimbow brainrot. My brain went, oooo you know what would be cute? If this skate was actually Bow’s and not just generic. So, I ended up sketching Glimmer’s as well. The heart that their skates make is like the cherry on the top for me, it had to be done! I’m not sure I did the background justice on this one? It doesn’t matter to me though because the concept was worth the effort. It was snowing here and I needed this picture like I needed air, even if it wasn’t even December at the time I posted it 🤣 I liked this one so much that I have similar ideas for the other seasons sketched out as well 👀

I’m sorry that I ramble so often. I’m like this quiet person; yet, it’s hard for me to get out everything I want to say? I’m horrible at it actually my brain runs at a hundred miles a minute and I’m not good with words most of the time. This turned out as more of a thought process than my actual feelings on each one I suppose. SO, in conclusion. I drew A LOT, I stepped out of my comfort zone, taught myself digital art and patterns. I let myself come to terms with the fact that not every piece of art has to be ‘perfect’. I drew at least 5 FULL backgrounds and I never used to draw them! I’ve also always been one for simple shading and lighting, and I do think there’s a time for that type of style, while other times sometimes a more difficult one might be appropriate. I’m glad that I did both because now I know I can do both, and they each give a characteristic that I adore 🥰 Thank you to everyone that has followed me through this journey, or just anyone who read my rambling! I have an honorable mention under the cut and some originals for anyone that made it this far! 💖

I’m not going to tag anyone; but, if you want to do this PLEASE do it. It was so great to reflect on what I did this year, it really surprised me and I think what you have done will surprise you as well! It’s been a rough year, and in the end we have been here supporting each other and that’s one of the most rewarding parts of being in a fandom! 💜

Glimmer screencap redraw

Another picture where I really tested myself on drawing a background! I love it even if it killed my hand!! The background definitely took the longest on this one too. My sister literally said ‘Wait, you did the background? I thought you just drew her?!’ And that was the only validation I needed!! I ended up thinning out Glimmer’s outline so she matched the background better. If you use the vectors on Clip please use this feature! You can do the opposite as well, it’s super useful!

Oh hi! Remember when I said I couldn’t decide between the two locations? Truth is, I also couldn’t decide if I was going to make it traditional or digital. I ended up getting really mad at the traditional version unfortunately. I haven’t gotten the hang of traditional backgrounds. In the end, I should have also done it in Copic and not cheap pencil crayons 😫

Just some space friends! There is something so rewarding about traditional art. Yes, I can see the mistakes and the proportions are most likely off; yet, it doesn’t bother me? I wanted to also show these bonus drawings because nobody is perfect and I thought some of you might like to see some of my process. Being able to hold it in my hands is something I will never tire of, in a way it’s super rewarding. I keep all my art actually and sometimes I like the rough drafts more than the finished work 👀 Outlining artwork can actually ruin the charm every so often 😔 I do really love the final versions of these though!

Annnnnd the last bonus!! As you can tell the final version stayed pretty true to my sketches! I almost went with a more realistic look and made the symbols ‘stitched’ onto the skates. In the end it felt like it didn’t fit the rest of the drawing unless I wanted to add extra details to the clothing as well. The wings on Glimmer’s skates turned into ‘Shwings’ PLEASE tell me other people know what that is? I had a pair a few years ago and misplaced them. I was doing the rough draft and it popped into brain and I treated it as a joke at first, until I gave it a proper chance XD In the end I fell in love with it!!!

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

So really early on we had made comparisons between Shaggy and Daphne with Stiles and Lydia from Teen Wolf. Obviously they’re not carbon copies of one another, Daph is an amazingly well rounded babe but she’s no Field’s Medal winner. (She is a straight A student though)  And while Shaggy is a very blessed individual he’s not exactly a born and bred detective like Stiles. But we’re not looking at the individual similarities between characters. We’re looking at the dynamics that are shared. Shaphne and Stydia’s similarities fall under their relationships. Lydia is an incredibly beautiful and popular girl but that’s not her whole character, like Daphne, behind that pretty face is a powerful and dangerous girl. And Stiles was the one taken for granted because he was just human, same could be said about Shaggy. Shaphne and Stydia are built on a mutual respect and reverence for one another. While Shaphne’s respect is not built on enough because of the Fraphne obsessed society we live in the respect is definitely there. Shaphne and Stydia were stuck in a world where people kept seeing them as how they wanted to see them.

In lieu of that Mod Silas has been redrawing some famous Stydia moments with Shaphne in place. And as a special present Mod Ninja will add on short fics to go with each picture. We hope you like this!

Part One

“It’s not just someone to hold you under, it has to be someone who can pull you back.”

Her hair had been perfect, it had taken hours for her to make it look windblown but in a sexy kind of way. She had redone her make-up four times to achieve the perfect mix of “I look like a million bucks!” and, “That hot chick you’d see at a Costco.” Resulting in a perfectly neutral yet captivating look. $200 had fallen out of her wallet so she could buy the regal, backless, deep purple dress.This dress was perfect, the closest thing to her dream coming true. Another $100 for the silver four inchers that matched her earrings.

She had stared at herself in the mirror for maybe five minutes.  

“This time Daph.” She said softly, “This time I’m gonna get this prom thing right.”

It was safe to say her first prom was a disaster. She had to tackle Fred to the ground and beg him to go with her, and after pouring her feelings out somehow they settled on going as “Buds ™.” But at least she got her dance with him.

Well, half a dance. It was interrupted by someone that Fred could grasp being attracted to. And she was also dressed like a great aunt from Hell.

Just like that, Fred’s eyes were off Daphne for the rest of the night. Whether she was kidnapping guys and throwing them in her rape dungeon or not, she had Fred’s complete and uninterrupted attention.  

But that was not going to happen this year.

Daphne was going to have her moment, she would get her dance with Fred and make her move. It was finally going to be the start of their perfect love story.

The mayor had sent two police squad cars to watch out for anything suspicious and protect the dance from it. Not wanting a repeat of the junior prom/Alice May debacle of last year.

While this was met with joy from Shaggy and Daphne, Velma had snorted and said, “Thank goodness our greatest allies are gonna be there to do nothing and get mad at us when we do all the work.” Daphne glared at her and Shaggy said, “Don’t you dare joke like that Velms! This is going to be a night of dancing, dates, and delicious snack tables. And absolutely no ghouls, zombies, werewolves, robotic werewolves, and vampires that look more like demons from hell than anything from Daph’s weird books!!”

Daphne had prayed to every god she could think of to help prevent any experts in special effects, puppetry, illusions, and advanced robotics didn’t get pissed off within the 72 hours before the dance. And she was almost considering being religious because here they were, walking into the gym that was decorated in and a 1940′s theme. No monsters in sight.

She was finally getting her moment with Fred, his arms were wrapped around her waist and his hands felt just perfect there.

And then a giant fucking bunny rabbit that spit acid just had to fall from the disco ball and send everyone into a panic. Daphne didn’t even need to look up at him to know that his eyes were sparkling and he was formulating a plan in his big, dumb, gorgeous, trap obsessed head. Once Shaggy let out a nervous chuckle she knew that her night of ineffable romance was over.

Precisely two hours and 15 minutes later they had caught The Buck Toothed Terror, which was a damn freshman who was mad that a senior hadn’t asked her out. Somehow Daph could relate.

Blah blah blah, robotics club member, blah blah blah, giant exoskeleton. “And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling upperclassmen!!”

Daphne had heard it all before.

Regardless of that total waste of time it was still only 9:15 and the dance ended at midnight. She still had her chance to revive the dying dream.

She scanned the gym looking for her target, the dance floor was now filling up with re-relaxed students. She spotted him on the other side of the floor adjusting his ascot, which didn’t match his tux at all but she didn’t care because he had to be the one.

She lit up as she spotted him and prepped herself to make her way over to him. She smoothed her dress which had become wrinkled from the several times they had been chased a giant, robotic bunny. It wasn’t back to it’s perfect crisp appearance, but she doubted Fred would even notice, as usual. Then she remembered that she had sent a roundhouse kick, with perfect form if she did say so herself, at the bunny and had broken the heel off her shoe as a result.

$100 down the drain.

Whatever, you could barely see the shoes at the bottom of the dress, if she walked on her toes it would look the same.

Ignoring the fact that her hair was popping up in every direction, and being jealous of Velma’s bounce back bob, she began to make her way over to him.

But was then stopped in her tracks when she saw the whole picture. Fred was surrounded by peers, most notably hot seniors. Now technically Daphne was in the category of hot senior, but she was also an outcast amongst the popular crowd.

She always had the chance to join the popular crowd. Everyone in the school knew she would be a hit. But at the start of every year Daph found herself only giving the popular kids friendly nods and then she’d dash over to the table where Fred, Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma were sitting. And just like that she would be pushed into the rag-tag group of weirdos, same as every year. But she didn’t mind, these were her best friends and unlike everything else in her life they made her happy.

The popular kids seemed to understand this and left her be, left the whole group alone really. The most they ever did was try and convince Fred to ask her out once, which failed of course. But it showed Daph how genuinely nice these girls were. 

And currently two of them were putting their hands on his huge shoulders and drooling at every word he said.

He must have been telling the brave tale of how he saved their senior prom, of course adding in that it was a team effort. Because he wasn’t full of himself like other guys she’d met. He cared about equal credit and everyone’s happiness, unlike other guys she’d met. 

She felt herself tearing up.

“No Daph this is a dumb reason. It’s not like he had to spend prom with me.”

She had stared at him for another two minutes or so, hoping he’d look over at her and remember they were dancing earlier.

But he didn’t look over at her, instead the football players had dragged him off to their man huddle, and that was that.

She had no idea why she didn’t just walk over to him and ask him to pick up where they left off. Maybe she was too shy or nervous or scared, who cares it was too late.

She waddled over to the nearest empty tables and sat down, since Fred had been her ride she wasn’t able to just leave. So she chose to wallow and pout.

She felt her jaw drop when Fred escorted one of the hot seniors onto the dance floor. It took her like five minutes to get him to ask while it took Daph two months of planning to ensure she’d be the first girl he’d ask.

Her eyes began to tear up again, seeing how happy and natural he looked while he danced with someone they barely knew, and she didn’t care enough to hide her tears.

Until out of nowhere Shaggy had pulled out the chair next to her and sat down with a plop.

She quickly wiped her eyes and leaned forward so he couldn’t see her face. And while attempting to sound okay said, “How’s it going Shags?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “Like, not great. Since Freddie had to commandeer all the precious food for the trap I’ve got nothing to do.” He leaned back in the chair and sighed. Daph looked around and smiled while saying, “Well where’s Scooby, I’m sure you and him could get into some sort of trouble.” She smirked and clasped her hands in her lap.

“Daph, do you really think Velma would let him stay at prom after what happened last year. Like man, she didn’t waste any time turning on the demon eyes.” He motioned towards the other side of the room where Velma was surrounded by guys from all walks of life. Somehow, this year Velms had become one of the hottest chicks in our class, getting date requests every other day.

Daphne wasn’t really jealous of her since she had her eye on only one guy, and it was way too funny watching Velma’s reactions to all the attention. 

“But you and Velma aren’t even together anymore are you?” She gave him a suspicious look but he quickly shook his head, “God no. I-uh, I guess she just doesn’t want Scoob ruining her last prom.” She smiled and sighed, “Honestly I would prefer if Scooby were here, then maybe it’d be a little fun.”

He stared at her for a second, maybe trying to unpack the meaning of what she said, and then he nodded.

He looked from Velma back to Daph, and they kinda just sat in silence for a little bit, just looking at each other.

That was one of the nice things about Shaggy, they didn’t need to say much of anything. Sometimes they could go on and on about how nice V-necks were, and other times they could just be quiet and accept each other’s company. At certain times Daph could use that comforting quiet that only Shaggy could handle.

It had taken a few minutes but Daphne looked down and realized that his hands were shaking, subtly but still noticeable.

She remembered that once again they had appointed Shaggy and Scooby as the bait in the formula. Daphne believed that it was because they were the fastest, but she couldn’t speak for Fred and Velma.

After everything was all wrapped up Shags was pretty good at looking like he was over his life being put in jeopardy. But Daphne eventually noticed that his hands didn’t stop shaking until the next day. That was when she considered that maybe he deserved a break. Her beliefs were confirmed when a doctor basically diagnosed him with post-traumatic stress. 

Of course that didn’t last long and he was back to being shoved into danger at every turn.

The main thing that had changed was that Daph now worried about him every time he became bait.

So of course he was still shaken up only half an hour after being chased to the death by an acid spitting rabbit that was 5x it’s original size. 

She could tell he was trying to calm down since he took deep breaths every few minutes, it didn’t stop his hands from shaking and she hated it. She took a deep breath as she grabbed his hands. He jumped at the sudden contact and Daph giggled, “Hey,” she said softly, he looked back at her, “Are you sure you’re okay.”

He stared at her with his eyebrows raised and said, “No Daph I am not okay, I almost got my tux melted off by a fucking bunny. And now I don’t even have any food or alcohol to drown my sorrows in!!”

She giggled again, “I have cappuccino flavored gum, it’s from my mom’s therapist.” 

“Which one?” Daph stared at him for a second, “Her-um-speech-no- it’s her anger management dude. Jackery??”

Shag chuckled, “Like, is Jackery even a real name?” She smirked, “Is Shaggy?Or Norville for that matter?” He winced, “Daph don’t even start that.”

She found them both chuckling, he seemed a lot calmer now that she had asked. Then she remembered that she was still holding onto his hands and he was gently holding back.

She quickly let go and put them back in her lap, looking around and hoping nobody saw them. More specifically, that Fred hadn’t seen. She peeked over Shag’s shoulder and felt her heart drop, several songs had passed and he was still out on the dance floor with the hot senior. He was still laughing and holding onto her tightly, something she had to beg to do with him.

Shag wondered what she had been staring at and looked over his shoulder. He then let out a sigh as he realized why party animal Daphne was bored at a school dance.

He looked back and saw her discouraged eyes filling with tears.

The hair on the back of his neck raised, he could handle his dog being over dramatic and Velma’s demonic tantrums and Fred throwing him into danger every other week. But he had no idea what to do when Daphne cried.

Whenever she cried she did it like a Disney princess, usually sprawled out on a bed with her hair all spread out and her face buried in the covers. When Daph cried everyone was going to know about it, and everyone just let a combo of Fred complimenting her and Scooby offering her his favorite toys. Eventually that would calm her down and she would explain while Velma rolled her eyes and Shaggy gave her apologetic looks.

 But this crying wasn’t the typical, charming Daphne crying.

This was purposely silenced crying, the kind where you wanted nobody to notice. 

He sighed and she realized that he was looking at her, she turned away and wiped her eyes. “What a day to not wear my waterproof mascara.” She forced a chuckle. Shag only needed to look at her helplessly trying to fix her eyes for a couple seconds before he gulped and took a deep breath.

“Like, Daph?” He sounded a lot more croaked than intended, which didn’t help his confidence. 

She looked away from the napkin she had used to clean the lines of her eyeliner and back to him. The second her purple eyes met his brown ones he became like 10 million times more nervous and his heartbeat probably spiked. Daph could say the same thing since she had no clue what he was gonna ask her.

“Yes Norville?” She sent him a smirk.

“Don’t even Daph I mean it.” She giggled as she let out a few sniffles.

He took a deep breath and looked out at the dance floor, “Do you-uh like, do you wanna dance?” It took him a lot longer to get that out, so he sounded like a sloth. Daphne stared at him for a second, her eyes wide while she processed what he said. She only ever danced with Fred.

At every dance she’d been to, homecoming, winter ball, spring formal, hoedowns, and of course the junior prom.

It’s was just a natural position she assumed.

She knew that just friends could dance, that’s more likely than dancing with a date. But somehow dancing with Shaggy felt like something in between. She had never danced with anyone else.

She must’ve been silent a long time because Shag added, “We’re stuck here for, like, another four hours so we might as well do what society expects us to.” She smiled and sent a glance over toward Fred, another song had passed and he was still on the floor smiling with the hot senior. 

“The dance floor is super crowded. Like, I doubt Fred would see you, i-if you’re worried about that.” 

She stared at him for another second and came to a conclusion. Tonight, she did not care what Fred saw or didn’t see. She had made this whole night about him and that was the same thing that ruined last year. For once this night was just about Daph, and Daph could do what she wanted.

So she ripped her gaze away from Fred, who could do whatever (and whoever) he wanted tonight, and gave Shaggy a smile.

She nodded quickly and they both stood up.

That was when she remembered that one of her shoes was broken. 

She lifted her skirt, her foot was being forced into a contorted position, “Damn it.” Shag whistled and said, “Like, now that is a terrible shoe design. Don’t no heel high heels conflict each other?” Daph rolled her eyes, “I didn’t spend $100 on a pair of gravity defying heels, I-I…I broke one of them when I kicked that stupid bunny.”

“Sounds like something you’d do.” She was about to point out that it had saved Velma’s hide but when she looked up she saw Shaggy kicking off his shoes.

“W-What are you doing Shag?” She crossed her arms and hoped no one noticed. He rubbed the back of his neck and said sheepishly, “You need to take your shoes off now that I don’t have any on.” Daph raised an eyebrow at him, she absolutely hated getting her feet dirty and he knew that, it just wasn’t right at all.

One time they were chasing after a swamp creature while surrounded with mud pits and Daph had been in a catatonic state for about an hour, even after her feet had been cleaned.

She would rather fight through the pain of these useless shoes then get some sort of bacteria through her feet.

But then she saw his hands, still shaking, and the random deep breaths every few seconds. It only took her a second before she groaned and kicked her shoes off, effectively shrinking her and reminding her that Shaggy was roughly 6′0. She ignored how gross her feet felt and grabbed one of his shaking hands. 

She started to drag him toward the middle of the dance floor, where it was the most crowded. Still hoping nobody would notice.

Although that might be asking too much since they were both shoeless and she was Daphne Blake.

Once they reached the center they both stood in front of one another, being quiet while a wall of other people swayed to the music around them. “Like, I uh…..”

Daph nodded and said, “I don’t know how to do this either.” His eyes darted around the room before they landed on her again.

She really liked the way he looked at her, no strings attached, no expectations, and no stupid clueless gaze. It just felt like he was looking at just her, Daphne.

She took a step forward so there were only a few inches between them and she placed her hands on his shoulders, “We’ll figure it out.” She smiled and he returned it as he rested his hands on either side of her. His fingers brushed the skin of her back for a couple seconds sending chills up her whole body. They slowly swayed to the music, not saying anything. Their comfortable silence returning. She just smiled and stared at him and he returned the favor.

Even dancing with him felt relaxed, and right.

She felt perfect, finally she believed this is what she deserved to have at prom.

And then her eyes drifted over to Fred, who was only a few feet away from them, and his eyes were on her. And instantly she was filled with regret and guilt, she was ruining everything! The more Fred stared at her the more the gentle swaying felt like the rocking of a ship in a storm. 

She had felt perfect and happy with herself a few seconds ago but she just had to think about her weakness, and then meet eyes with said weakness.

With that she looked away, and to keep herself from looking at him again she slid her hand down Shag’s arm and pulled herself into a hug. Hiding her face, and blocking her gaze, in his chest.

She could hear his breathing stifle, but he didn’t move.

Instead he leaned down and rested his head on her shoulder, the random deeps breaths seemed to diminish.

And it was replaced by a warm feeling in Daph’s chest, which she prayed meant anything but the first thing that came to her mind.

[beanymachine]

A Post About Fairy Tail (Series)

Warning:

This post will mention the word “porn,” and ”nudity”. If you want me to tag as #nsfw I understand, but please understand I am not describing anything and am simply having a discussion. If this post makes you too uncomfortable and/or mentally triggers you and you wish for the post to be deleted, I understand and will immediately delete it. I do not want to do any harm on anyone.

Hey, I know a lot of people are loyal to Fairy Tail and I get it, I’ve been there. But I just wanted to talk about and ask some stuff to you the community. So please know I’m not trying to be rude or mean. With that being said, I will start.

I used to like Fairy Tail a lot. I loved it. It helped me during middle school and had everything I loved: Magic, friendship, adventure, and transformations (like Erza’s armor). And as I kept watching the anime, there were some inappropriate parts (like when some female characters didn’t have anything covering their boobs or barely had anything on there). Looking back, I see I always tried to look around it, deny, or just say to myself since because there was still a little clothing left, it still wasn’t nudity. In truth, I was just trying to find a way to look around it to stay loyal and read what the story had to offer.

It had a good beginning, much better than the end. And when I caught up with the anime, I read the manga. It was right before the last chapter of the series I found out something.

You see, during the Tartarus Arc (I think that’s what it was called) I skipped the part where Lisanna and Nastu were tied up naked. There was a time before I caught up to this arc that while I was on the wiki for Fairy Tail, I heard of this and maybe saw a photo of them being naked, but I couldn’t believe it. I told my mom and she told me it might’ve been fake, or it was my decision if I wanted to stop reading. I can’t remember which was which, but I think I forgot at the time and took a break from reading it. But after hearing numerous people who read the manga talk about it, I decided to skip the part. After all, they are just naked and nothing inappropriate was going to happen right? Just jokes right?

Looking back at it again, that was also denial. And them just being naked and making jokes was inappropriate in that fact.

But what I also skipped was the torturing scene for Erza.

Apparently, (and I think they censored it in the anime which is good) Erza is tortured while naked, and some tentacle creature also tortured her. And I remember once watching an Anthony Bourdain documentary on Japan that there is apparently some genre of manga or illustration of tentacle porn. And I remembered this when I discovered what happened to Erza.

That was the moment I really opened my eyes. I think Hiro Mashima sexualized torture.

Women have whatever opinions or feelings on how women are depicted in media and their thoughts on feminism. At the time I discovered this, I thought as a woman I was disgracing what pride or self respect I had. I shouldn’t read or support something that a person created that’s demeaning to women, and sexualizes them. Not only that, but this is a shōnen manga. Women and girl teens can enjoy it, but this manga is aimed at male teenagers. These teens shouldn’t be taught it’s okay to sexualize women like this, or see what’s going on is okay. I mean sure in Fairy Tail it was shown wrong, but I don’t think the writing did a good job on showing the everlasting effects the torture did on Erza. Also, maybe it’s different in Japan, but in the US, young men or male teens can interpret this wrong. Also as a woman I am disgusted. But those are my thoughts, you can have your own opinion.

So for some weeks I dropped the manga as I felt it was my duty as a women. Which today I think it shouldn’t really be a duty. It just depends on how it affects you. And maybe it didn’t affect me as much as it did to others because I was still REALLY curious on how the story ended. Because that’s what really kept me going.

I liked some of the art, and I also wanted to know what would happen to the characters. Would Lucy and Nastu end up together? Or would the become very close best friends? Would Gray have a moment telling Juvia his feeling towards her or no? How will the story end? But I think I mostly held out because I still had hope that maybe, somehow, Hiroshima would turn around and start writing well and actually give accurate character development to he characters. It also helped me realize I really like character development.

The manga taught me on what not to do when writing or drawing a story. Because there was so many ways I thought on how he could make some good out of the last arc, or how he could’ve written it, or ideas on using the logic of the manga and it’s magic he could somehow make a somewhat well written or at least good ending.

But he necessarily didn’t.

In the end Nastu was the one to KO the evil dragon guy and not all the dragon slayers. Lucy and the rest of the group had there moment, but it was mostly support. Also, the manga made it seem like one day Lucy would end up with all the celestial keys and become a powerful wizard. BUT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN (I guess it’s my fault for hyping up myself).

Back to the topic, I finally decided to read the last chapter to stop making myself curious and just finish what had helped me out all the way in middle school. I felt bad and disappointed in myself since I failed my duty as a woman, but eventually I got over it. I also see how it shouldn’t really be a duty.

So when I read the last chapter after my break I finally saw... how bad the manga is.

There were a lot of things tied up sure, but maybe it would’ve been better if there was a longer time skip and Levy and Gajeel were a bit more older and had children. But it’s fine if that’s what they decided. But another thing is how Mavis and Zeref got reincarnated and Mavis was still in a little girl’s body! Let the lady age man! Let her finally be an adult. Not only that but it made me realize how creepy it was for Zeref and Mavis to have a kid. I mean sure she was an adult stuck in a kid body but maybe Hiroshima could’ve said that they combined their magic to make a child but... that’s not what happened. Also Gray shouldn’t say Juvia’s body is his. People aren’t property, and that is not how love works.

This was also the last chance for Lucy and Nastu’s relationship to finally show how deep it is. And I’m not saying anything shippy. It can just be deep best friend stuff. But when Lucy got emotional, you know what Nastu did? He just stayed in character and basically said “it doesn’t matter since we are always together!” The thing is, it does matter. Best friends who have been together in times near death should talk and be emotional and comfortable Around each other to talk about each other’s feelings. How did they feel fearing the other one possibly died in the war? And I know it’s Natsu’s character to not be too deep but, every person is deep. They are deep in something, at least slightly. Natsu just stayed as a 2 dimensional character and dissed on Lucy’s feelings. 

So you are probably wondering after reading all my feelings why I have brought you here. I just wanted to ask some questions and see how you feel about all this. Did anyone ever ask if Hiro Mashima thought he was sexualizing women too much? Or did anyone tell him what he draws and writes might be offensive too some or many? Did he ever apologize for anything he might’ve done and has done wrong? Did fans ever ask or confront him about this?

And how do you, as a former Fairy Tail reader, feel about all this?

So yeah, that’s really what I wanted to ask for this post. It’s always been in the back of my mind how things didn’t end well with this series for me. A part of me always wanted to rewrite or redraw it, like a reboot kinda, but you shouldn’t change the original source. You aren’t really fixing the problems it has. It’s just I loved all these characters so much and I saw how it could change and make things better. But that wouldn’t change the situation in reality. I also am now wondering if it’s because I live in the US that I feel differently than some women may feel in Japan and if it’s more of a cultural difference.

So I guess I just wanted to ask if I’m missing something or don’t have enough information on stuff, and how you feel about all this. Anyways, thank you for reading. Have a nice day.

Good bye!

P.S. I remember that there was a spin off series called Fairy Girls. It was focused on obviously the main female characters. It was nice and gave them moments to shine, kick butt, and actually do stuff. I don’t recall it being as fanservice-y as Fairy Tail. So if you still like Fairy Tail despite all its flaws I recommend reading it.

[messedupessy]

ANOTHER SKETCHDUMP YAY (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So have yet another little sketchdump filled with pretty old sketches <: like these are about 4 months old, like the last one was sketched at the beginning of may

Comments and stuff about each piece down below because I love to explain my stuff

First of a very flustered and blushing Berry, it was supposed to be for that love meme I have been talking about but it didn't turn out like I wanted and also I ended up re drawing it, fuck I need to srs finish it

The other one's I drew on the same paper, the woman with the very large chest didn't have anything covering it until I quickly sketched on something to cover it up when I was about to scan it in, then a bunch of random skeleton like figures in random poses I think I was a bit bored, and then we have an attempt at a redesign of Scratch aka SF Sans, this predates the design I have for him now, as now he is actually wearing some armour unlike here where he is only wearing clothing

Then we have a more fullbody attempt at that redesign of Scratch, I was really obsessed kind of with the idea of him wearing a vest of some kind and a very tattered t shirt underneath, he still have the shirt in the redesign I ended up with tho

Suddenly Papy's, what a surprise! First a flustered and blushy Papy because can't have enough of those, then Papy in a waiter outfit as there was this tumblr post with a tweet by AmazingPhil that said: "just ordered fish and I said it was delicious and the waiter said ´I think you mean defishous?´, I think he is my soulmate" and I was like yeees honeyketchup au yes but didn't draw more than just this, might try to redraw it sometime, and as it's not really honeyketchupy so am I not tagging this post as such etc something, and the last Papy is him been all sorta nervous and stuff also based on a tumblr post I saw somewhere which was something with Gravity Falls with that red haired girl saying "okay, I'm not actually laid back, I'm stressed, like, 24/7" which immediately made me think of Papy, might try to redraw this one too sometime <:

Then two pissed of Edges, an attempt at a funny inside joke me, my big sister and one of our friends have, which I can't tell you about as I want to tell you guys it in the redrawn version as I am going to flippin redraw this, as I love that joke so damn much it's ridiculous xD remember I had such problems with drawing these as I just couldn't get him to look right

And at last we are on the last pic, and also on the last page of that sketchbook, above this pic I drew THIS as I suddenly had the urge back then to try to draw some TMNT, and then I went wait let's draw Gerson as a flippin ninja turtle, so I did :D

anyhow that was all~

[bub-the-voidling]

Custom Card Competition wk 17: Madness

(This is a post about a private Card Brewing competition. Entries were not open to the public)

This week, we’ve all collectively lost our minds and constructed our own interpretations of that madness!

In case you didn’t understand that, we’re making madness cards this week :P Think [Basking Rootwalla], [Basking Rootwalla], or maybe even [Falkenrath Gorger]. Without further ado, I’m Sami, I like [Guild Summit] [Forbid] control and this is week 17 of the custom card competition!

This is just to keep you from peeping when I link the write up, I’ll come up with a better way to do this.

Anyway! Card time!

Starting off the competition we have a brave soul, someone who dares delving into the scariest and deepest depths of a mad mind. A horrifying little line of text included that makes everyone quiver in fear. “at random.” Funny how much we fear that.

So, what do I have to say about it? This is one of the rare occasions where it’s handled actually well. I will complain about the card in just a minute, but please understand how impressive that little feat is. Someone made a card that randomly sacrifices and discards cards and did it well. That is worthy of praise.

Now, why if I like this card so much is it the first card and obviously not the winner? Because this is a madness competition, and while I agree that randomness is a mad thing what this does with madness is sadly lacking. It continues the card’s theme of making everyone sacrifice some sort of permanent but it kind of feels like it randomly chose planeswalkers and artifacts while adding an unfitting increased price.

What would I do then to improve this card? Actually, I have quite a bit of suggestions, the first one is that I would make the hard casting slightly weaker since it just seems better to hard cast it, it does a little bit of everything for cheaper. Land destruction, creature destruction, and the best kind of non-targeted discard. Maybe move one of them to the second part, like maybe the land destruction. You could also swap out the discard for the artifact, because no one wants to really pay extra to get to destroy someone’s artifacts. Second suggestion, keep the randomness for the madness cost. It’s a bit weird of a change at first, but maybe the card could be just the hard cast part, but once you madness it people lose the ability to choose. Third suggestion in case you don’t want to change the card because of the card identity is that you could simply reduce the cost of the madness part, because honestly it kind of stings paying 6 mana after discarding a card for just sacrifice one of everything.

Also making it just sac opponent’s stuff for madness could be another option, but hopefully you get my point. I really like it, but it’s not quite there.

7/10, someone get the oddly specific dice for our lands…

What’s with you guys and submitting things a week late? >:/ This isn’t equipment week!

Joking aside this is an interesting card. It’s a [Hellbent], or [Heckbent] as it now is madness support card. That’s also an equipment. Now this is one heck of a card, so what does it do? It makes YOU discard cards when your creature deals damage. Now I can’t remember who told me this, but the card really makes me think about the saying “Every downside has some upside.” I’m fairly certain it wasn’t worded that way, but the point is that we’re using this obvious disadvantage in our favor since we’re playing a [madness] deck.

Interesting to note is that it’s not combat damage it triggers on, it triggers on any damage. So, if we equip this on [some] sort of [pinger]. We have a discard on demand, but if you would equip it on one of those two examples they would be effectively turned off until you want to discard cards. Which you usually do since this is a discard card for a discard deck, but you don’t always want to discard. Even if you have cheap spells such as [Fiery Temper] or [Asylum Visitor] you sometimes run out of mana or have to spend said mana on other things.

So, what’s my take on this madness support card? Although I can’t help but to love the weird equipment with its strong downside that tells you, it doesn’t ask it tells you to build around it. As much as I admire that I sadly must admit that this might be over some line in “This is too weak.” I love weakness, I honestly think people usually try to make things too strong without appreciating that it’s okay if a card doesn’t do everything. It’s better that cards have weaknesses than just being all upside. [Technically] [these] [have] [weaknesses], [but] [really]? So why am I saying all of this? Why do I think this is too weak? Wasn’t weakness a good thing thirty seconds ago? Yes, but if the downside is too great you end up with a [Tibalt] instead of a [supreme card that is the pinnacle of card design].

What do I want from the card? Simple, some way to reward you for using the card. Now that might sound really stupid since you’re supposed to use the card to discard other cards, that’s the whole reason to use it! I mean yes, but there has to be some carrot to this stick. Otherwise I would much rather use [Key to the City] to discard for free at will and then get the chance to draw it back again. Or maybe [some] [discards] for 2 mana that literally gives you back new cards. Hell, if you want to go blue [Forbid] is pretty darn cool. The last example might not be too tempting since it costs a lot but hopefully you get my point. You are supposed to get something in return for discarding cards, otherwise you will not use this in favor of something that doesn’t turn off your creatures and gives you some sort of upside.

What can be changed for it? Now, if you’re still reading this just know that I might just be talking out of my ass and that everything you just read might’ve been bullshit. But I believe that to turn this into something great the reward could be something like giving stats once heck/hellbent. But talking with the creator they had a worry that the text would simply be too much, so I have a second suggestion. Remove this little bit “you control.” Now what the hecko does that do? Well, if you discard the mask and pay for it… You can equip an opponent’s creature. Remember the comment about turning off a creature? Oh what I would do to turn off the opponent’s creature~ It’s a minor tweak that has large ramifications. Now the card can be used as an offensive tool that makes the opponent ask “Is it worth blocking or attacking? I’ll discard these if I do…” and so on. That’s at least my take on it.

6/10, lovely idea, just not quite there. (Holy moly that was a wall of text.)

Originally, I wanted to have this card just before the winner because I like the card, but I wanted to talk more about it. But the last two are so ridiculously close that I don’t even know yet who will win. Well as I’m writing this, now that you’re reading this I’ve made up my mind.

Anyways! This seems like a simple card, no? A changed version of [Obsessive Search] which is good since just making better versions of cards is usually not too great. Unless we’re talking about a [Untamed Wilds] into [Rampant Growth] scenario. It’s not strictly better since you can’t cast it at all until you discard it (sorcery doesn’t mean anything). Although I like the idea of non-existent mana cards, the madness cost being absolutely free… It gnaws at me. Probably [breaks] [dredge] but I’m not too sure, dredge is a weird fellow xD But the problem with being a free discard is that it can go into any discard deck you want. If there’s enough [discard] then you can sure as hell just slam this one in to get some extra value, thin your deck or whatever you want. It’s free after all!

I’m going to break the pacing a little bit and throw over one of the ineligible cards here since it’s from the same person.

If you didn’t run away because you saw Phyrexian mana, twice. Let tell you why I think this card is slightly better designed. It’s [well] [known] that a redraw is worth 2 life. A card could just be printed at a blue Phyrexian mana and only say “Draw a card.” at instant speed and be balanced. It would even almost be objectively worse than [Street Wraith] since wraith can be a creature for 5 mana. Something is always better than nothing. That also goes for drawbacks, something is always better than nothing, paying 2 life (or 1 blue mana) to draw the madness card is more balanced than just getting the redraw for free. It kind of goes along the lines of why we don’t play Street Wraith in all our decks. We all know that having smaller decks (IE 56 instead of 60) is better, so having a draw that only costs life should be essentially free. But it’s not, because life matters, even if it’s a constant resource like Energy, in that it doesn’t go away after each phase. That 8 life or even just 2 life simply is not worth it. And same would kind of go for this card, you wouldn’t just slam it into any discard deck because you wanted a free redraw and free discard. You would have to put some thought into it. Even though I’d speculate this would still be really popular because of the madness tag on it.

Also, with this version sorcery actually matters and is fitting.

Anyway, the card you submitted, I like it. But I honestly wish you’d keep your original submission.

7/10 the Phyrexian version is like half a point better, and since math is math it would be 8/10.

The first entry I had this week, also one of the best, if not the best. Now what’s so special about this? Does it interact with madness in a new and interesting way? Does the madness trigger change how you play the game or even build a new deck around it? Kind of and not really. It does kind of interact with madness in a new way. But instead of making the madness on itself important, it applies it to all other madness cards.

So it’s a madness support card, and for the record I would’ve allowed it even if it didn’t have the madness tag for 3 mana. But now it can be cast earlier than T5 if you madness it. And the support it gives is exactly what you’d want in a fair madness deck. A reliable way to consistently get madness triggers. Yes it’s only at your upkeep, but worst case you get to loot deeper into your deck. Which your opponent also gets, not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, once you do cast a card for its madness cost the madness never ends and you draw another card and discard a card, hopefully continuing the chain of madness. Now this can probably get broken somehow if you’re comfortable with playing a 3-mana enchantment to chain this madness combo. But what you could also do is play [Madness Creatures] or a vampire tribal thanks to [Falkenrath Gorger] and just fairly cast 2-3 or more creatures at the beginning of your upkeep with the madness chains. And that’s what I really wish from this card, that idea is making me love the card. I have this thought that this is like [Experimental Frenzy] in limited. Strong and fair, but honestly it might be broken somehow. Maybe with storms.

10/10, really great entry. Only thing I didn’t like was that it made the opponent draw and discard as well. Might be faulty judgement on my part, but that’s honestly how I feel.

Fun little tidbit, the person who made this was originally not going to enter before they had drawn the artwork for the card, but they didn’t have time to finish it so I kind of forced them to enter without art. Sorry not sorry, this card is great.

This is exactly what I was hoping and looking forward to in this competition. A card that interacts with madness more than just being cast for madness, and this does it in a great way. Hard casting it, you have a worse [Merfolk Looter] as it has no power. And if you discard it and pay the flavorful red mana you might get it out for cheap, but its ability is swapped from looting to [Rummaging], the red version of going through your deck.

Seems well balanced as there’s some tradeoff for the discard effect rather than just making it a 1/1.

I don’t have a lot to say as this is exactly what I would ask from a looter/rummager with madness, even the cost is swapped for red as it should be as rummaging is a red ability, also a [mad ability].

I can’t even come up with anything I’d change, maybe the madness cost to 1R, but that’s probably not even needed. Unsurprisingly, this card is our winner 😊

10/10, we have a winner and he has protection from protection! Congratulations to Ape of Justice for winning this week’s custom card challenge!

I want to do a little update, but first let’s real quick show the ineligible entries this week.

First off we have the person who made the prompt’s card! And… wow, this is interesting. Madness X on a creature (plus BR). This is… quite awesome, if you want the creature and not go minus in cards you’re going to have to pay 4 mana for it and get a 4/3 plus looting 2. But then the other options are really interesting, 2 mana for a 4/3 haste flier where you also discard 2 cards, it could in the [dream] [scenario] work out quite well for you or maybe even be what you intend to do later on in the game to madness some more. But really late game you can even use this as some weird ass card draw spell. Like a [Braingeyser] but with a creature on top of it.

But sadly, the card is a bit too pushed with one little thing. The 1/1 creatures. I honestly think having the 1/1 makes the card do a bit too much, I’m not too big of a fan when cards do everything. You can’t have a reasonable creature, card draw, a large army with relevant creature types, and haste them all. It’s the reverse problem of the helmet card from before.

8/10, teach me the meaning of that word you- Oh wait you can read this. <//-//<

And last off this week we have…

A card you already know what I think of as I used it to compare one entry.

8/10, you know this already.

But this card brings up the point I was talking about earlier. Personally, I’m a slightly conflicted about the scoring system I’m currently using. I’m trying to get it as accurate as I perceive the cards but having flat numbers is kind of limiting. For example, the Tides of Insanity would’ve been 9.5 and the card above I would’ve given a 7.5, but because math works as it works it’s rounded up to 8. And if I would be allowed to go even wilder, I might’ve given it a 7.4 which would translate to a 7 in the current system. I know this all sounds like humbugs and you might not even really care. And that’s fine, in that case just go to the next prompt and good luck ^^ But if you’re still reading this, I want to hear your opinion. I want to know how you want my scoring system to continue, bellow this will be two links to two different polls, and I would like to ask you to please ask you to click ‘em and vote in them. Or just reach out to me and chat about the scoring system. It would help me out a lot.

[Poll 1]

[Poll 2]

Thanks for reading that little wall of text and thank you for being patient with this write up taking so long. Hopefully you guys and girls were enjoying the prerelease as well ^^ But without further ado, here’s the prompt that you already know!

Investor gadget! (Fuck you Ape, I’m keeping it.) We're flipflopping from being mad lads and lassies into being investigators! Make a card that revolves around the investigation mechanic. Examples of this are the one and only [Inspector Gadget!], [Tireless Tracker], [Confirm Suspicions], and since someone's going to ask, yes [Erdwal Illuminator].

Good luck everyone and have a wonderful week <3

[sanerontheinside]

saner’s excessive synopsis au2

the angst is strong with us this week.  @outshinethestars, @letslipthehounds -- Burning Skies was utterly gorgeous and heartbreaking. But I cannot leave this unanswered without some angst of my own. Hence, followup to saner’s excessive synopsis -- or, the random collection of Rogue One aus to break ppl with. 

@dr-fumbles-mcstupid, @godoflaundrybaskets, @meggory84 @lilyrose225writes, my apologies but I hope this turns out different from what you had in mind anyway.  @obaewankenope, @meabhair, @maawi, @eclipsemidnight, @kyberpunk since we’ve discussed this. 

Imagine a child who grew up her father's Stardust -- this girl who looked so much like her mother, in all but that she had her father's eyes. Her mother, who painstakingly taught her the lessons of keeping to the shadows, keeping her words and her thoughts tight within her, deep and far and away from the Empire's long, creeping, twisting fingers. Lyra never quite got that lesson through Galen's skull. They were supposed to run, they were supposed to escape this nightmare, to join up with Saw and get away. But they never did. And Galen is the one to blame. He didn't pay heed to Lyra's warnings. He was outspoken when he should have stayed quiet, he was bold and daring at all the wrong times. He thought he could make a difference. He should have listened to his wife. Instead they got a painful lesson in invisible, invincible pressure as Galen was forced to recant. Lyra never said -- she never spoke a word of it. She never wanted to speak that aloud, never wanted to lay the much-deserved blame at his door. He carried it even without her words. But they were so closely watched for a long time after that, and Lyra kept swallowing her words and her fears and her hatred of the place they were trapped in, pushing it back the way you're never supposed to do, hoarding it, guarding it, holding it back behind her teeth. Silence eats. It gnaws at you from the inside, consuming your secrets and grudges and wishes and never-weres. Silence eats its fill and wants more from you, more of you, begins to make you believe that Silence is all you ever needed or wanted. Is it any wonder she wasted away only a few years after their failed escape attempt? Is it any wonder she taught her daughter the same -- to swallow her hate and her fear and keep going?

Little Stardust... it's a name Galen uses less and less now, ever since Lyra died. His daughter seems to go cold at the sound of it, so bit by bit he lets it go. 

(She will always be his Stardust.)

For months, now, Jyn Erso has walked with whispers at her back, at her heels.

Alderaan’s University is supposed to be a place of enlightenment, her father always said it was. Even Krennic had agreed that Coruscant’s University was merely fashionable. It was the place to send the children of the Emperor’s favourites, but the daughter of a genius, no dull mind herself, deserved the true best that the Empire had to offer. That, her father had insisted, was on Alderaan.

But people are people no matter what world you land on, Jyn knows this. She never expected to find friends here. Nobody mentions that Alderaan is a quietly rebellious world, because Bail Organa stands before the Emperor without fear, greatly daring in doing so. In a strange way, his stoic composure had become a beacon for Jyn, a certainty she might pin her hopes on. She never expected her father’s former colleagues to support her, never expected the fledgling rebel groups of university students to like her. She joins the rebel student groups anyway, all on the strength of one Senator Bail Organa, who stands before the Emperor legally unimpeachable and protecting this homeworld with every shred of silent rebellion she can’t help but respect. Someone is bound to see her, someone is bound to tell Alliance Intelligence that Erso’s daughter is here, on Alderaan, drinking with classmates who hate her and shoot dark sideways glares her way. 

She hates how coy they are about it, though. It had been months before one of them finally said, with a twisted mouth and a fire in her eyes, “You’re everything there is to hate about the Empire. You look down your nose at the rest of us, think the world owes you something. You’re Galen Erso’s daughter.”

“I know whose daughter I am,” Jyn assured her, flat-voiced and with a level stare.

I’m the daughter of Lyra Erso, the woman who spoke to the earth and the earth spoke back to her on Jedha. The woman who tried to get my father to hold his tongue and run. Except he did not, because he was a fool.

“Your father will give them the weapon that will burn worlds,” the woman spat. “You don’t believe in the rebellion. You’re a spoiled brat who had a fallout with her father. You’re not here for the rest of us, fighting for the freedom of the oppressed. You’ve never needed to fight for anything in your life,” she hissed with finality, and with that barb, finally stepped away.

Jyn stared at the air where she had been, numb and expressionless.

It’s an odd thing, really. When her father wanted her sent to Alderaan for the education, everyone here seemed to view it as some sort of galactic snub or punishment. The children of the elite get sent to Coruscant. 

As if she was a rebellious, tempestuous child. As if she didn’t know the monster her father was, and was no more than a spoiled brat tossed off to Alderaan to learn a lesson, who only joined the Rebellion for the attention.

As if silence didn’t choke. As if silence didn’t gnaw at you from the inside, burning a path through your stomach when you choked back your words again and again and refused to break down and scream. As if she’d never had to fight herself to tamp down the bitter anger she’d felt at the sight of her father engrossed in his work when her mother had died, died in silence, wasted away from it slowly.

She tossed back a glass of something cheap and strong, squeezed her eyes shut as she felt it burn its way down to compete with the ache inside her. She didn’t hate her father. She did hate him. She hated his cowardice, she hated his fear.

She hated that he loved her, and that made it so hard to see clearly.

Jyn had spent years in her father’s study, sometimes tagged along with him to the laboratory where they tested crystals. He’d taught her, pushed her and challenged her at every turn. She’d excelled -- as was only expected of Erso’s daughter, truth be told. But she’d also, in later years, made a study of his notes on what would one day become the Death Star. He’d let her, sometimes joking that she could find a flaw where none of his engineers could, or else that she’d see something he’d missed.

Jyn had spent years figuring out, on her own, how to crack the Death Star. It was her own private hobby. No one saw her neat, cramped notes. Nobody knew what she was up to -- or so she liked to think. No one had said anything, anyway. 

When her father sent her to Alderaan, he’d managed to play right into her hand. Jyn honestly hadn’t believed her luck at first. Once here, knowing all that she knew, she just had to get the attention of one of the Rebels -- someone with influence. So, knowing the looks she’d get, knowing the chances of her actually finding friends were less than slim, she’d joined one of the University’s radical groups -- the sort who met in the cantina in the evenings, drank themselves stupid and extolled the virtues of the Rebellion, Fuck Palpatine, Fuck the Empire!

Jyn smirked, darkly, sharply humourless, as one of those shouts was aimed very expressly at her, almost tossed in her face.

Alright, so maybe I’ve never had to fight, never had to suffer. Have you?

No. They were the bright-eyed young idealists the Rebellion would recruit. Jyn could see someone watching her -- he had been, for the last week, actually. Every time she saw him now, her skin went hot and itched with impatience -- come on, come-on-come-on-come-on, come over here already, talk to me, ask me what it is I want. Ask me what I want from your precious Rebellion, what I can give.

But that night, when a spoiled brat had accused her of being the same, had accused her of not knowing what the Rebellion was for and using it to get to her father, Jyn almost didn’t care enough. She slammed down the empty glass, eyes still squeezed shut, and thought about marching straight to the police and drawing the plans and redrawing the calculations from memory. She remembered them so well she dreamed in those numbers and formulae now.

She almost wanted to think, Let them die. They’re all the same everywhere and the galaxy would be better off without us in it.

They’d wiped out Geonosis, hadn’t they? And who missed those bugs now?

She wanted to slap herself for that thought. Instead she got up, a little unsteady, and walked right out into the street, into the cold fresh air that woke her right up and filled her lungs until they cramped.

Oh, she was drunk this time. She swayed, pitched dangerously --

-- Was caught, hands closing on a bulky coat. She lurched sideways, retched, but somehow held herself together long enough to straighten, eyes still shut tight, and apologise to the person who’d caught her. To thank them, too, she supposed, then wander off home without opening her eyes.

The grip on her arms didn’t loosen.

“Wha--” Jyn forced herself to look.

That same face that had watched her in the cantina, tired and half-hidden in shadows then, now loomed over her. He looked -- he looked sharp and predatory and focused, like he’d caught his prey. It unnerved her. She’d seen the face of a killer before, she’d seen Tarkin often enough. She’d seen Krennic go from charming to threatening, but this -- where she was suddenly the target -- this she really hadn’t the chance to see yet.

It thrilled her, dangerously, like molten heat in her veins. She told herself she’d really lost it, if this was what it took to feel halfway to alive, but she also, oddly enough, didn’t care. She had the sense that defecting, or going to the Rebellion, might mean she wouldn’t live much longer. Whether it was the work of the Empire or the Rebels, she also didn’t give much of a damn. Just so long as they listened, trusted her long enough to accept the message, the vulnerability in this giant weapon. 

Almost predictably, Cassian Andor isn’t one for pleasantries. He’s not particularly interested in the story that she has to tell, either, nor in explaining why he even approached her. On her own, from his grunts and the odd expressions that flit over his face, she puts together that he’s taking her hostage to force her father to reveal a way to break apart the weapon -- and she doesn’t even get a word in edgewise about what she knows before she blacks out. 

She wakes up in binders, but still on Alderaan. She can tell, even through the hangover from whatever was mixed into her drink, because the air is clear and it feels like it never had in her life. Stale, recycled, artificial, sterile Imperial air. Alderaan had been a welcome change in many more ways than the promise of telling someone what she knew. 

Cassian doesn’t seem inclined to listen. “You’re going to record a message for your father,” he tells her, like she has no choice. 

“He won’t tell you anything,” Jyn shrugs. The moment she records that message, Cassian will have even less need for her. Maybe he’ll still want her alive if her father asks to see her in person. But her father will never tell the Alliance anything. 

“He will,” Cassian says, blaster pointed lazily at her from across the room, just above the camera, at odds with his sharp eyes. “Start talking.”

“I can tell you how to destroy the Death Star,” she says, hoping blunt honestly and luck will carry her through, more than anything else. It’s not like he has any reason to trust her. “I went through all the calculations -”

“Why are you telling me this?” Cassian snaps. 

“I came here to join the Rebellion. I came here to tell you how to destroy the planet-killer.” 

“I have no reason to believe you.” And it’s true, he doesn’t. Everyone else seems to think she’s just doing this for attention, anyway. Then, “You could be a plant, the Empire could have sent you here.”

“For what purpose?” she tosses back in annoyance, readily baring her teeth in exasperation and disgust. Something chimes agreement in her mind -- she really hadn’t thought this all the way through. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Stupid, stupid --

“Disinformation.”

Point. Rare point: the Empire’s not that good, she knows this, but she can see why he might think that. Damn. Sometimes inside knowledge isn’t quite a boon. 

Jyn shrugs. “The structural plans are on Scarif, in an archival base. The planet is surrounded by a security shield. Assuming you do get past it, assuming you somehow get the plans from the vault below, theoretically you could come to the same conclusion. It would take your scientists another few months to run the calculations to be sure. You don’t have months. They’re in the final stage, mining the last of the kyber on Jedha.” 

A few months -- try a year, she scolds herself internally. Her professors are nothing like her father, colleagues of old or no. 

Cassian twitches at the mention of Jedha -- to his credit, minutely, but Jyn has had to learn to read the expressions of everyone who’d been swallowed by the Empire’s silence. 

That twitch. That, she thinks, is interesting. 

Cassian leaves her alone for a few minutes without forcing her to record the message. Then he comes back, sits down calmly across from her again, and says, “The message to your father. Start talking.”

“But --”

The blaster clicks. 

Jyn keeps to the script. Then, Cassian asks her about the designs. 

He asks her about many things. He asks her about Krennic and Tarkin and a few other ranking Imperials -- some of whom are no longer in the picture. (The Emperor’s inner circle is always full of turmoil. Sometimes people vanish, and not even on his order.) 

Cassian questions her about Scarif at length, and with every description his face falls more and more, stress-lines deepening around his mouth and in his brow. He should look younger than he does, Jyn thinks, impassive. What can she do? The defenses on Scarif are very good. The vault codes change every six hours, and even that implies getting past the shield to begin with. 

When he asks her about her mother Jyn clamps down on her words and says nothing. There’s nothing there to tell but bitterness. 

Her mother had wanted to run from the Empire, but if there was one thing on which she and Galen had always agreed, it was that the Alliance would gladly have strong-armed Erso into making a weapon for them, instead. Now, her daughter, her precious girl with a quick mind and a sharp eye, is selling what she knows to people who could so easily exploit it (if they came to believe her), but she has no more options. This is the end of the line, the only place left to run that can undo or prevent the horror of a planet-killer. 

Cassian leaves her alone, still bound up, sitting crosslegged on a pallet under an open window. 

She dozes off, probably. With nothing to occupy her but tired old problems and puzzles she’s either solved fifty times, or needs at least flimsi to work on, she decides she may as well sleep off the rest of her hangover. 

Waking up is a mistake. 

They’re here, they’re here for me, they’ve come to take me back, Cassian’s dead, the Rebellion doesn’t know, Krennic knew all along -- oh gods --

Jyn doesn’t scream at the Imperial droid when she wakes with a start. So much of her has been swallowed up in silence that she can only stare at it with eyes coming out of her skull and her throat working convulsively because that’s it, she’s finished, they’re here. 

Imperial plant, that’s what Cassian said, and, gods, the Empire’s not that clever -- except what if they were? What if Cassian was an Imp and she’d spilled out all the information and implicated her father as well -- 

Her mind is spiralling out of control and the droid is speaking, saying something she can’t hear and it’s probably orders -- Do Not Move -- Do Not Resist -- You Are Under Arrest -- and there’s something wrong about it, some odd inflection, but Jyn doesn’t care, she’s scrambling backwards, nails scraping bloody along the floor until she hits her back. There’s the window over her head, if she could just get out -- 

She tries to throw herself back against it, but the droid has her by the ankles and dangling head-down in the air, wriggling, absurdly, like a hooked fish. Jyn can barely hear Cassian’s voice over the rush of blood in her head. He must heard the scuffle, or maybe the droid called him, Jyn doesn’t know and doesn’t care. She’s hanging helplessly, fingers raw and bloody, hands clasping the crystal around her neck, face hot with tears and complete dismay, muttering please please not this please anything but this. Her throat is raw, raw like she’s been screaming, but she doesn’t remember it. She only remembers screaming in her head for years, since she was old enough to realise she didn’t have a voice in the Empire. When she realised no one did. 

Cassian looks down at her unseeing eyes, her bleeding hands, and bends down to haul her up by the shoulders. “Down, K, put her down.” They lay her back down on the blanket and she curls into a ball, still muttering and shaking. She knows what Imperial droids do, surrenders to it while she listens to the clinical delivery of her vital signs. 

“Fear,” the droid says finally. “She is afraid.”

To hells with afraid, she’s terrified. She knows what those droids are, what they do. 

“Jyn.” Cassian’s hand is hovering over her shoulder, like he’s afraid to touch her. “Jyn, can you hear me? You’re safe, Jyn.”

Safe. If she had the energy or breath to do it she might scoff at the idea. Under the Empire, there is no safe, only varying degrees of disposable, for man and droid alike. Except that droids are powerful machines and they can do to soft and breakable little people the sort of things that Jyn will always see behind her eyes. All of it done with the same blasé approach as the Empire has, of cold disposal, because a droid has no feelings, only statistics and efficiency with but a single purpose: kill. 

Obey. 

Obey the order that says, ‘Kill’.  

(Like her father.)

“Me,” the droid says suddenly. 

What the hell --? 

“She is afraid of me.” The head moves, up and down, as if... confused. And then it very slightly bows. “I will go,” the droid says, vocoder twenty percent softer (and she doesn’t know how she knows that, the Imperial droids never modulated their vocorders). It unfolds its joints from the floor and stalks away, that long-legged killing-machine walk that Jyn knows too well, carrying it faster than she’s seen any Imperial droid move on its own. 

She stares after it, breath still hitching, knees still up against her chest. Me, that droid had clearly said -- 

“That’s Kaytoo,” Cassian says quietly. “He was reprogrammed. Side-effect is he tends to say whatever comes into his circuits.” 

It’s a quiet joke, an attempt at a distraction. It doesn’t work, but slowly Jyn unknots herself, joints and muscles aching, sharp, metallic taste in her mouth. She draws away from Cassian and huddles to the wall again, doesn’t give him her hands when he offers to help her. 

Cassian sighs. “Tell me what you know about the Death Star,” he says, leaning back against the wall beside her, but at a reassuring distance. 

“How do I know you’re not an Imperial plant?” Jyn’s voice shakes. Her hands are loosening about the crystal and she’s staring up at the ceiling, trying to stop the flow of tears. 

Cassian looks at her then, surprised more than anything. “You didn’t think of that before?”

Jyn’s lips press into a thin, anguished grimace as a fresh bloom of tears breaks free. “Too blinded by hope to think,” she stutters, half-choking on the words now. 

Cassian smiles. It’s a small thing, and it barely reaches his eyes, but it’s strangely lit with some familiarity and fondness. “Ah, but rebellions are built on hope,” he tells her. “On the hope that you could find a way to leave Imperial space, to come here, carrying all that in your head. On the hope that you would be noticed.” 

That someone would listen. Jyn gives him a water-logged, dubious look. “Trust goes both ways,” she says thickly, pointedly raising her bound wrists in the air and letting them drop again. 

None of the Imps ever bothered looking at her notes. Jyn had her own area of interest, and she wanted to continue that study at the University. She was working, so far as the faculty knew, on some abstract dissertation. Her advisors had put it down to Erso’s genes that she didn’t ask them for help. 

It serves her well, now, that she’d spent the first few months going through all the calculations again, reconstructing her careful study. The data is in her apartments, the encryption is in her head. She watches the file transmit to the Rebel base, wherever it is. 

“Now what?” 

Cassian shrugs. “I don’t know. I have no say over what they decide.”

The next time Jyn sees Kaytoo, she fights her body’s reaction, its urge for immediate flight. The droid tilts its head. “Your heart rate is 113 beats per minute. That is high.”

“Only 113? Not so bad, then,” Jyn counters. 

The head straightens, shifts back in a credible imitation of human surprise. “Yes,” Kaytoo says, almost cheerfully, “it’s an improvement. Keep working.”

The Alliance is re-checking her calculations. They’ve expressed doubts as to their completeness and veracity, which is something Cassian had warned her to expect. Jyn is unprepared for how much it still stings, standing here feeling so small before the eyes of a remote committee projected on-screen in the living room of a safehouse she hasn’t left in days. 

Bail Organa presses a kiss to his daughter’s forehead. “Look for Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, Leia. I fear he is our only hope,” he says. 

(He lies. It’s Leia, Leia who is his one greatest hope, but only Ben can really teach her what she needs to know.)

They’ve finally worked out a plan of action. Jyn is relieved to hear it. If she thought the Imperial Senate was bad, at least laws were signed into existence, not argued over and bartered for with scraps over one large table. 

They have a plan for destroying the Death Star. That in itself is a relief. 

She stumbles out of the safehouse, finally free -- or as free as Cassian will allow, which means either he or Kaytoo are shadowing her on this walk. The night air is cool, a relief on her face and stinging eyes and weary bones. Jyn suddenly wants to go home, home to an embrace in her father’s arms. She feels achy and empty without even that here. 

Jyn stumbles, stops, sits down heavily on a nearby set of steps and stares up at the night sky, thinking she’ll just sit here and breathe, and nothing else. The moon looks lovely, the way it hasn’t looked on any of the worlds she and her father had been stationed on. 

Jyn thinks about this. Something is wrong there, and it sends a chill through her that she cannot yet name. 

On the heels of that chill comes a vision, Force-bourne, of possibilities: of a world where she and Cassian and Kaytoo, and an Imperial pilot and two survivors from Jedha come together through a series of lucky accidents; a world where her father deliberately worked a flaw into the Death Star and pinned his last hope on his daughter to find it. 

She sees another path, another tangle of possibilities, where the Alliance 'rescued’ her father and asked the same of him. 

Jyn gasps, pulling air into cramped lungs and staring up at the sky in numb horror. 

That’s no moon, she thinks. Jyn thinks of the brave pilot whom she never got a chance to meet, of the two Guardians of the Whills, souls so closely entwined that everything about them moved in synchrony -- if with the odd exasperated huff. 

Jyn spares a prayer to the Force that they might somehow have been spared this fate -- them, and all of NiJedha, though it's difficult to imagine how. 

Of all the supreme ironies, she has a chance to think half-bitterly. Her father had made this critical flaw his life’s work, and sought to remove his daughter the Empire’s grasp before the weapon’s completion. He’d sent her here thinking only of her safety, and she’d come here with the plans to lay the Empire to waste. What had drawn Krennic to Alderaan? Was it her meddling? 

Jyn winces, and grieves. But not just for her mistakes, not for friends who may or may not be alive. She grieves for the years she wasted with her father. Every moment, every word, every gesture suddenly seems a hint, and Jyn shuts her eyes against the flow of all those memories -- because nothing lies that way but pain. Regret, though, doesn’t quite leave her alone. 

Cassian runs up to her just as she sees bright light stream down to the atmosphere and pierce the horizon. He looks horrified, and Jyn can’t stand that look on someone’s face -- not now. She tugs on his sleeve and pulls him down into a tight embrace. 

Y’all would probably be right to ask what the heck happened to Bodhi, Chirrut and Baze. They’re all fine, which is kind of remarkable for this au, but yes - they all survived, even evacuated NiJedha. 

Also, important: it’s not Galen who convinced Bodhi to defect this time, it’s actually Bodhi who talks to Galen and pushes him over that last edge.