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maccreadysimp · 3 years

Text

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

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maraudersandlily20 · 4 years

Note

ok dorcas and marlene as chaotic professors at the same university? could be an AU, could just be Hogwarts

As told in Text Conversations:

Groupchat: Picasso is a Bitch

Dorcas: New Teacher alert.

Lily: Department?

Dorcas: Engineering

Remus: Sounds hot

Dorcas: shut up immediately.

Remus: you’re not my mom

Lily: M or F

Dorcas: F

Remus: Dammit

Lily: seem nice?

Dorcas: idk. I didn’t get the chance to actually talk to her. It was more like a moment in passing. She was surrounded by guys, though

Remus: what a lesbian move

Lily: how… how is that even a thing?

Remus: Lils, are you dumb? If girls ONLY hang out with guys, chances are they’re butch. Or they know they aren’t attracted to guys and are wild as fuck and have nothing to lose. They have no one to impress, really. Those are the only two options.

Dorcas: Jesus

Remus: No, I’m sure he wasn’t there

Dorcas: I have to leave this conversation before I physically kill Remus Lupin. Talk to you both later.

Lily: Lunch in our usual spot?

Remus: Tell me if you see the Lesbian again.

Remus: Also, where the fuck is Alice?

---

Groupchat: The Walking Dead

Sirius: Well lads, I dropped off the love of our lives at school. Felt like a proud parent. Almost cried.

Marlene: You are aware that I know how to make explosives from scratch right? I’ve been aching to do it for a while, so you wanna keep doing this? Is this happening?

James: I need him, though. We’re gonna get married eventually. So no. You are not allowed to blow him up

Marlene: Fuck

Peter: How's the new campus?

Marlene: Small. I mean, it’s a lot smaller of a university, harder to get into and all that. But still. For a place that boasts a great deal of wealth, they certainly don’t show it in building size.

Sirius: That’s how you know they have money. They have nothing to prove. Classic rich people move.

Peter: You should know.

James: Did you get settled though, Mars?

Marlene: Enough. I still have to set up the lecture hall to my liking, but it’s nice to have an office that will probably be permanent. And I saw your door just a few down from mine, Jamie boy! Sirius: I should have become a professor. I feel left out. I hate being left out.

Peter: You have the right degree, Paddy. You could be a professor if you wanted.

Sirius: Desk jobs are gross. No thank you. Also, children.

Marlene: It’s not a desk job. And, like, these children are basically full grown adults.

Sirius: Physically, maybe. But I remember what we were like at their age. Mentally, they belong in daycare.

James: You’re just bitter because those college boys outdrank you the other night.

Sirius: THEY FUCKING CHEATED!

Peter: They didn’t though

James: Whatever you say, Pads.

Marlene: Also, I just saw a very beautiful woman. Will keep you updated if I see her again.

Sirius: WHY ARE YOU ONLY SAYING THIS NOW?!?!

---

Groupchat: Picasso Is a Bitch name changed to Hamlet, that’s fucking gay

Remus: Any sign of the lesbian?

Dorcas: No.

Alice: What? What Lesbian?

Lily: Oh, while you were sick, Dorcas saw a very pretty girl. Remus thinks she’s a lesbian.

Alice: Ooh, that’s fun!

Remus: I don’t THINK Lily, I know.

Dorcas: You haven’t even seen her

Remus: Irrelevant.

Lily: Do you guys know if Potter is back?

Alice: I saw him this morning. He was getting coffee.

Remus: I love that man so much. He’s so beautiful I could literally cry. With that hot caramel skin and that wild hair and how he always smells like some weird spice. I want him to be the father of my children.

Lily: Don’t encourage him.

Remus: He’s not even here.

Lily: He can sense your enthusiasm. So shhhhh

Alice: Do we still not like him?

Lily: No.

Dorcas: You know it was an accident, Lils.

Lily: You don’t know that. And I don’t know that. And who in their RIGHT MIND asks someone out after they’ve pushed them into a fountain? Like, the audacity?!

Remus: At least he’s authentic

Lily: Yeah, an authentic bitch.

Alice: Lol.

Alice: I’m honestly really interested in this Lesbian situation, though. Can we get back to that?

Remus: She’s in the engineering department. So if your cute little math loving butt just wanted to wander over there…

Alice: I’m on my way.

Dorcas: Why are we friends? You’re joking, right? Please tell me you’re joking.

Dorcas: ALICE

Lily: They’re doing it out of love.

Dorcas: Well their idea of love is something I am not interested in.

Alice: Blonde?

Dorcas: Fuck.

Remus: Is she blonde, Dorcs?

Remus: IS SHE?!

Dorcas: Yeah.

Alice: Marlene McKinnon. Blonde, blue eyed, I’d say 5”8, 5”9. Masters in Engineering. Very nice.

Remus: Alice, I fucking love you

---

Groupchat: The Walking Dead changed to Update, I’m still gay

Sirius: Why the name change?

Marlene: Needed to get your attention

James: But like… with that?

Marlene: It fucking worked, didn’t it?

Peter: What happened?

Marlene: I saw that beautiful woman again. And I was right. She was beautiful.

Sirius: Sounds riveting.

Marlene: I told you I’d keep you updated, and I am. Stop being ungrateful.

Sirius: Yes commander

James: Who was it?

Marlene: Don’t know. Short, black, curly hair?

James: Where did you see her?

Marlene: She was getting a plate of spaghetti in the Canteen.

James: Hm………..

Sirius: James doesn’t know anyone because he’s too busy mooning over Evans.

James: I am so much stronger than you. Do not come for me right now

Peter: Sirius, you have an appointment here, come down.

Sirius: Fuck.

James: Peter, you know you can just text him personally, right?

Peter: I can’t shame him publicly if I only text him.

Marlene: Facts.

James: Did you talk to her?

Marlene: Nah, she was with people. I wanted to though. She seems lovely.

James: Lovely? Who are you and what have you done with Marlene McKinnon.

Marlene: She’s dead now. I’ve inhabited her body.

Sirius: Thank god, she was a bitch.

Peter: SIRIUS

James: I’ll keep an eye out for her. Let me know if you want me to scout it out.

Marlene: Okay, James Bond

---

Groupchat: Hamlet, that’s fucking gay changed to Dorcas McKinnon has a nice ring to it

Dorcas: Remus, stop changing the group chat name. I know where you live.

Remus: We live with each other.

Dorcas: Exactly.

Lily: Are there lesbian updates????

Remus: I met her. She was wandering around, looking for a pop machine.

Alice: Yay! I love Lesbian updates

Remus: Good news: she’s funny. Like, super funny.

Lily: Saying good news like that often means there is bad news to follow

Remus: She’s uh… friends with Potter.

Dorcas: Uh-oh.

Alice: Oh no.

Lily: I’m really sorry that you have to eternally break up with this woman, Dorky. Because NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. ANYONE who is friends with James Potter is not worth knowing.

Alice: That’s pretty judgemental, lils.

Lily: .... And?

Remus: Luckily, you don’t have to date her.

Dorcas: No one is dating ANYONE. Jesus, you guys. Chill out about this whole thing

Remus: I don’t think that’s physically possible.

Dorcas: Can we talk about anything else?

Alice: Frank is taking me out for sushi tonight.

Remus: I would marry Frank in five seconds, if he’d let me

Alice: I’ll let him know.

Remus: Thank you, I appreciate it.

---

Groupchat: Update, I’m still gay changed to Emotionally Unavailable Idiots

Sirius: I have met the love of my life.

Marlene: Stop being dramatic

Sirius: Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? He quoted the Princess Bride with me. Word for Word? Marlene, I must marry this man. WHO IS HE?

Peter: Why do I keep missing all of the fun stuff?

James: The fun stuff is watching Sirius gay panic over a stranger?

Peter: Yeah. Obvs.

Marlene: He’s the lit professor.

James: Lupin?

Marlene: I think so, yeah.

Sirius: An english nerd. Perfect. He can read me poetry while I give people tattoos. We’ll make millions.

Marlene: I think… he wants to be my friend. He’s come around a few times. He even brought me coffee once, with a croissant. I didn’t know people were so nice to strangers. Am I in a hallmark film?

Peter: It’s cause you're such a catch, Mars.

Marlene: I will shove that “catch” up your ass, Pettigrew, if you don’t stop being stupid.

James: Impossible. Stupidity is Peter’s middle name.

Sirius: Yeah Peter Marcus Stupidity Pettigrew.

Peter: My middle name isn’t Marcus.

Sirius: Wait really?

Peter: No?

Sirius: Why the fuck did I think it was Marcus?

James: I think Lupin is bi, Sirius. So…

Sirius: James, you are the other love of my life. I will kiss you when you get home. You provide me with the most valuable information and attention. I can never truly repay you.

James: Finally. Getting the recognition I deserve. Can’t wait.

Sirius: Marlene, please. Be his friend, I am begging you. I will give you our first born child.

Marlene: Pass.

---

Groupchat: Dorcas McKinnon has a nice ring to it changed to I won’t hesitate bitch

Alice: Marlene is so nice

Lily: You’re all traitors. She’s friends with the enEMY

Dorcas: I thought Remus was supposed to be the dramatic one

Remus: I’ll take that as a compliment

Dorcas: Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Alice: Seriously though. She’s so nice. A lot of my students have her and they’ve been gushing. Apparently she’s one of the best professors some of them have ever had.

Remus: Damn. High praise.

Lily: Still skeptical

Alice: She asked about you, Dori.

Dorcas: wait, what?

Remus: ALICE SAY MORE RIGHT NOW?!?!

Alice: She said she had noticed that you and I are close and she wanted to know about you. What your name is, what you teach, how long you’ve been working here, if you were single.

Dorcas: She did not ask that.

Remus: Dorcas, shut up forever. Alice is talking. Alice, my love, please continue.

Alice: I may have invited her to eat lunch with us.

Dorcas: Uh…

Lily: You did what?

Alice: She’s new, Lily. I’m trying to help her make friends.

Lily: You did it, didn’t you.

Alice: ummm

Lily: YOU TOLD HER SHE COULD BRING JAMES POTTER, DIDN’T YOU

Alice: He’s her friend. I couldn’t exclude him.

Lily: I never thought this would happen to me. To be betrayed so thoroughly by my own friends. I don’t even have the words.

Alice: Who knows, it might be fun?

Remus: I’m so excited I could burst

Dorcas: Is it legal to drink on campus in the middle of the day?

Remus: Unfortunately not. Trust me, I’ve tried.

---

Marlene McKinnon to Dorcas Meadowes

Marlene: It was nice of all of you to invite me to lunch. I know it was probably awkward for all of you to have to spend time with a stranger. But I really appreciated it.

Dorcas: No problem. You’re always welcome.

Marlene: Maybe… we could go get something to eat off campus sometime?

Dorcas: Yeah, of course. We go to the bar on Wright all the time.

Marlene: Oh, I meant like… just you and me. Actually.

Dorcas: Oh.

Marlene: Yeah. Did I guess wrong?

Dorcas: Guess wrong?

Marlene: About you being into women?

Dorcas: Ohhhh…

Marlene: ??

Dorcas: What did you have in mind? For our date?

Marlene: Wait, is that a yes?

Dorcas: I expect like, first class treatment, because I’ve seen you in action now. Anyone who can wrangle James Potter like that is someone who deserves knowing. So yeah. It’s a yes.

Marlene: Yay! Okay, you won’t regret it!

Marlene: Also, my friend is in love with Lupin.

Dorcas: wait, James?

Marlene: Lol. Nah, James is still hung up on Lily. She’s wonderful, by the way. Tell her I’m grateful she was so kind. I know about what James did last year, so I can understand her bitterness. Fucking funny, though, to see it in person.

Marlene: It’s my other friend, Sirius. He owns the tattoo parlor, Cannis Major, on Levi.

Dorcas: Hmm. Well, let me know what I can do. I’m sure we can get them in the same room at some point.

Marlene: Are you offering to meddle in people’s lives?

Dorcas: Is that okay?

Marlene: Dorcas Meadowes, I’m pretty sure I’m already halfway in love with you.

Dorcas: Thank god.

--------------------

This has been in my ask box for literal months. I’m sorry @tonftyhw !! I had finals and stress and I don’t know how to write. I hope this makes you smile though.

Clarifier for who teaches what if anyone is interested:

Lily-History

Remus-Literature

Dorcas-Art (painting)

Alice-Math

James-Chemistry

Marlene-Engineering/Physics

Sirius owns a tattoo shop because I will die for that AU every time. And Peter works with him, kind of like the brains of the business.

Should I write more of this? It was so fun lol

#my writing #sirius black #wolfstar #remus lupin #james potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #dorcas x marlene #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #alice longbottom #text conversations

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callmepippin · 4 years

Text

ok so i was tagged by the lovely @lexiklecksi for the 11/11/11 tag, the rules are: answer the 11 questions she asked me, make up my own 11 questions and then tag 11 ppl to answer those (so if you want you can skip to the questions at the bottom lmao). however as a fair warning: this got Way too long probably bc im rambly today. i tried to limit the stream of consciousness but….

1. current musical obsession: Frank Ocean and related sort of neo-r&b stuff - while writing this im also discovering Childish Gambino’s “Awaken, My Love!” (and also the song Golden Brown, but not bc im listening to it but bc im learning it on both guitar and piano)

2. 3 things i always take with me:

- wallet (or at least my id)

- phone (&earphones)

- cigarettes&lighter

3. what (or who) i miss most in lockdown: i dont rly remember? im so used to the situation by now that i kind of forget to miss what i did when things were “normal”... but i guess going to bars w/ friends, and just being able to go shopping when i need smth

4. pick: either only read 1 book or only read books picked by someone else: i wouldn’t be able to only read one book for the rest of my life! so definitely the second option (esp if i can pick the person who picks the books)

5. why i found your blog/followed you and if i intend to stay: uhh you followed me and when i checked your blog i liked the vibe i guess? also you were v nice in the tags of my music stuff! also ya i like it here, so im staying for a while

6. when and why did i last cry: i genuinely dont know for sure.. the last time i specifically remember crying was my granddad’s funeral, which is three yrs ago this month, but i do know ive cried once or twice since then, i just dont remember for sure when and why.

wait i do remember, i think the last time was when i saw Richard Says Goodbye (live music and movies or books are basically the only reason i rly cry, im not an emotional crier, dont know why).

7. who holds the key to my heart: my partner of five (and a bit) years, whom i love Very Much! (although ofc my heart is not locked, i have so much love to give, just romantically i am very much taken)

8, pick one: star wars/star trek, dobby/gollum, white/black magic, flying/teleportation, time travel: past/future?

- Star Wars

- Gollum (even though i have read hp but still havent read lotr, ive read the hobbit like 4 times tho)

- i think the hard dichotomy btwn white/black magic or like light/dark and good/bad in most fiction is often v flawed bc thats not how the world works, everything is grey areas (e.g. the Jedi are not better than the Sith, both have deeply flawed philosophies). the Force (or any magic for that matter) is not inherently good or evil, it just is. nature isnt abt good or evil, isnt abt opposites but abt balance.

and especially if you work with the occult and magical, i think thats all abt walking the edge between light and dark, life and death, night and day, good and bad etc…

so to answer the question: grey magic lmao, its all abt balance

- teleportation i think, bc while flying is very cool, i think teleportation has more practical uses (although also has danger involved, such as what happens if you teleport into a space that is already occupied by a person or an object? but for the sake of argument, prolly teleportation)

- do not even get me started on time travel.. the implications of time travel to the past are…… complicated to say the least (it only works if you believe in hard determinism, which i wholly do not). so in a practical sense, def to the future (although that is also Problematic within the constraints of our four-dimensional universe/experience).

in a philosophical sense though, ignoring all the paradoxes and laws of time and space, id still pick the future (or maybe no time travel at all), bc i think the past is the past for a reason. we remember it, we learn from it, but ultimately we must leave it behind.

my philosophical problem with traveling to the future is more that you cant just. skip life. so if you travel to the future, it has to be way beyond your own life and direct influence, or youll interfere with yourself and your own future, and thats scientifically, psychologically /and/ philosophically a v bad idea all round, i think.

9. which thoughts keep me awake at night: almost never specific thoughts, but quite often anxiety abt the near future. but theres no like, lingering issues that keep me awake.

10. what id do with you if we were locked up together for 24hrs: i think i’d really like to write with you! make poetry, song lyrics, make art! bc we could rly learn from each other i think and also we could just rly pick each others brain abt mundane, important and transcendental stuff ya know?

11. ask anything: do you have concrete, long term plans for the future, maybe even backup plans? a clear vision of how the rest of your life is going to go? or are you more the type to do what makes you happy now and figure it out as you go along?

my own questions (large variation in vibes and weight, i know):

describe your favourite colour using other senses (like what sound, smell, feeling or w/e do you associate with it)

what’s the best thing that happened to you in the last week, last month and last year?

what’s the one thing/what are the things that help(s) you get up in the moring and keep putting one foot in front of the other?

are you a leftie? (warning: there is a correct answer)

do you play/have you ever played a musical instrument? (and for the sake of completeness, yes i am counting singing as well)

do you have one thing (e.g. a song, movie, book or smth else) that never fails to bring you joy?

do you have one (or more) person(s) you feel you could still hit up after ten yrs of radio silence and you’d still vibe?

what’s your favourite song lyric/line from a poem/quote? and why?

who was your first celebrity crush? (if you’ve ever had one obvsly)

what’s smth you’re looking forward to? could be specific, could be a general thing like a driver’s licence or your own apartment or w/e

this one is specifically to feed my curiosity, indulge me: why did you follow me?

congrats, you’ve managed to reach the end! again, very sorry for the rambles, thanks for sticking around. im tagging @alt-heidi, @terdiscussie, @a-soul-to-cling-to, @ontvreemd, @sarahhnghae and i guess whoever fuckin feels like it? i literally can’t think of 11 ppl on this hell site, so if i forgot you its not personal. if we’re mutuals you’re especially tagged.

#this was v fun actually #i was tagged to do this like 3 weeks ago but ya know #adhd and stuff #i actually have another one in my backlog as well #i think ill look into that as well now

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megashadowdragon · 4 years

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ironwoods tragic fall from grace

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When a hero becomes the villain, all hell breaks loose. Especially when the fallen hero is general of the Atlesian army.

The only thing that I noticed was that Ironwood has constantly grown a Beard as time passes. He's slowly decending towards from Hero to Villain as a "Fallen Hero" Catagory. James Ironwood WAS a good man, utterly dedicated to protecting his people. It was with the best of intentions that he charged down the path he’s taken... but you know what they say about good intentions.

I didn’t think his semblance was much of a factor into his decisions before Vol 7 but now as he’s become more unhinged every chapter, it’s becoming even more strikingly obvious that he’s become a slave to it. The fact that his semblance increases his resolve to go through with bargaining with Watts, willing to blow up Mantle just to save Atlas.

He's like the antithesis of Leonardo Lionheart

You know, this is a really good counter for all those people saying Ironwood is suffering character assassination. He's not. He's giving in to fear and letting his worst aspects take command.

I’m personally asking again why would the writers talk about something like Ironwood’s semblance outside the show when for the most part the majority of people only watches the show, that’s like how the Russo brothers (the writers and directors of Avengers Infinity War and Endgame) choose to answer the hows and why on Twitter when the majority of people are only watching the movies I personally love those movies but it also would’ve been nice to see those things get explained or talked about in the movies just like how it would be nice to at least mention Ironwood’s semblance in the show

Honestly, I love what they're doing with Ironwood. His slow, inexorable descent into extremism is a wonderful exploration of how an idealistic person who believes themself to be the hero can tumble into villainy without trusting others to keep them grounded. It's the very real problem of the philosophy of "The ends justify these particular means;" if you can justify one morally gray decision to achieve a good goal, it gets easier to justify the next, darker gray decision. Without someone outside to call you on your bullshit, you're eventually justifying genocide because it will be for the "greater good."

Ironwood is literally the Darth Vader of RWBY. He starts of as a respectable character, commanding his own army for the good of all. But he gives in to all of his fears, looses a limb or 2, and slowly turns misguidedly evil, willing to kill ANYONE who stands in his way.

I've said before that Team Rwby is a foil to the Headmasters. Ruby keeping secrets like Oz, Leo/Blake, the faunus who ran away when things got hard, and Ironwood's parallel is Yang.

Not just obvious stuff, like both having metal arms. But both of their semblances are double edged sword. Yang get stronger taking damage, but if she leans on it too much, an enemy that takes one hit just destroys her since she can't fight back. Volume 4 has her training with Taiyang to correct this flaw in her thinking, leading to her overcoming Adam in her rematch in V6.

Ironwood's semblance can be incredibly powerful. Just off the top of my head, he basically no sells the Apathy, which is an incredibly dangerous Grimm in a group with other, stronger Grimm. But it has downsides, and we're seeing it. The correct way to use it is after you've made a choice, to focus on the task at hand. But making large choices while under the semblance is not smart. He's too focused on one action to see others that have opened. Atlas has to be raised, because that's what he's already decided to do. The idea that they've made contact with the world and reinforcements might be coming never entered his mind. Similarly, he's so focused on forcing Penny to heel that he's not seeing he has a chance to have her come willingly by aiding in Mantle's rescue.

He's so focused on winning this one battle (Having Penny raise the city to escape Salem immediately) that's he's making choices to doom the larger war (defending the kingdom's people, defeating Salem, reuniting the world).

He clearly knows that it isn't smart to rely on it this way, since he's shown the ability to take criticism and adjust his thinking in Volume 7 (Nora would've been Slate'd if he couldn't). But the combination of Yang/Blake going behind his back to tell Robyn, Ruby/Oscar not telling him the truth, Qrow seemingly killing Clover, and, right when he thought that he'd saved everyone, the idea that every single thing he's done might've been exactly what Salem wanted has fairly understandably shaken his faith in the others around him. He can't rely on them to rein him in, he has to do that... which is exactly the problem with his semblance. If the only person who can stop you is yourself, and you're convinced you're always right, you've doomed yourself.

I'm assuming that he could probably be talked down by Glynda or potentially Oz or Qrow (fat chance of that one) if they can break his aura, but as it stands, unless someone beats him down, he's not going to be able to stop himself.

With Ironwood I am reminded of a very profound quote from CS Lewis, that I feel summarizes him very well: "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth. This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be “cured” against one’s will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals."Show less

Dude Ironwood didn't have a problem with trusting people and didn't have a mentality of not being able to trust people. He trusted to much and trusted people who both betrayed his trust (Yang/Blake) and didn't reciprocate the trust he gave them (Ruby and the rest of the main cast). Honestly, he would have been perfectly right to have immediately put the relic of knowledge into the vault at the start of v7 and then send the students on their way and have nothing more to do with them.

Ironwood saw Atlas and his fleet as a way to inspire hope. It's ironic that his plan was one of lifting them up so high that nobody would ever be able to see them anymore.

My only criticism with Ironwood is that I really really wish his semblance was brought up in the show. Are they ever going to bring it up? I absolutely LOVE how he has been written and watching his tragic descent into becoming a villain but having his semblance mentioned in show would be great. Is someone going to have to break his aura or something before he or someone else mentions it?

In a way he is. His semblance is a double edge sword, as someone in Ironwood's position is all about making calls. Ironwood was able to climb through the ranks because his semblance allowed him to follow through with his actions to save people (I also still wonder what happend to halve of his body as he already had a metal leg and arm in volume 2, we can asume the paladin project, but some confirmation would be wonderfull). Now he's following through on his words agains Salem, that Ironwood isn't going to let Salem take the relic of creation. Ironwood essentially only has this thought he is focused on and is disregarding everything else. Right now Salem is piecing herself together again and Penny is going to the vault, if Ironwood semblance of Mettle wasn't interfering he would be able to see the bigger picture of let Penny open the vault, take out the staff of cration and chuck whatever goop Salem is right now with the bit of land she is piecing herself on right now and throw that into the vault and close it for good by blocking off the entrance with concrete. Voila. Ironwood doesn't notice at this point his actions as he even thought councilman Slate, who was asking Ironwood to explain his action got put down by Ironwood himself. Same for Marrow later on, but Winter was able to step in. Ironwood needs to be saved from this mindset and I think the team up of Qrow and Robyn (also who ever was on the elevator, I think it was Winter and Marrow as Winter was taking him away to be put in jail) could save Ironwood to the point of breaking his aura that way the influence of Mettle will loosen.

Gonna be honest, I dislike the whole concept of his semblance and it being what's driving him to this is just dumb to me. I loved him as a character and this entire volume feels like every bit that made him an interesting character has been ripped away. It's likely just me, but prior to Oscar using the built-up magic to beat Salem it felt like they had painted themselves into a corner. Either Ironwood was proven right that some sacrifices had to be made for the good of the people, or Salem was going to be beaten and even if she can come back, she no longer feels like a huge threat to me. I loved Ironwood in volume seven and many of team RWBY's choices have infuriated me for how contrived and stupid they manage to be while also contradicting themselves so easily. To be frank, I feel like his semblance was just an excuse for this utterly stupid character assassination they're trying to justify.Show less

I kind of feel like the writers 'forced' Ironwood to become a villain. Some of his decisions just don't make sense.

#rwby #james ironwood #rwby ironwood #rwby volume 8 spoilers

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tar-oh · 4 years

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Daily Cards: Blue Moon, Full Moon in Pisces, King of Cups, Two of Cups, lyrics from Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks by The National and Dear April by Frank Ocean

I guess there was a lot to say today, since two cards for each fell out!

Wow. I really didn’t think this was going to come up today, but I honestly think this is a love reading. Literally everything about this points towards someone receiving an offer, and it’s most likely love judging by how many watery cards I pulled. Everything seemed to just want to fall out today, and most days I’m worried it’s meant for me, but seeing that I have no love interests (at least ones in a position where they could say something, but honestly this is not about Sara’s issues today lol) I have to assume I’m definitely reading for someone else!

We’ll start with the tarot, especially since I pulled some more cards to clarify this, but I don’t have them pictured above. The cups suit is the suit that’s all about emotions. The King of Cups is someone who is balanced emotionally. In terms of characters of the tarot deck, he’s probably who most would want in a lover (though, I’m not opposed to the King of Pentacles or the King of Swords personally, but to each their own). At first, I was thinking it had more to do with you finding a way to balance your own emotions, until I flipped over the two of cups. Two of Cups is considered one of those love cards that when people see it, they’re instantly like “Oh, someone wants to give you their cup of love!” In the Rider-Waite deck, it’s a picture of a woman handing a cup to a man who is already holding a cup, so one could read this card as an offering of love. Though, in the deck I used right now, it lacks people, so I’m not going to say that this is why I think you’ll receive an offer. It was the moon cards that definitely sealed the deal for me, but first the clarifiers I pulled: The Chariot reversed and 6 of Cups. 6 of cups is a card that is often interpreted as someone from your past coming back. Though, it could mean a past life (and with 2 of cups, I don’t think I’d be surprised. Also, the moon cards add to this idea too). The Chariot was reversed, and one of the things it can mean when reversed is self-doubt. I see this as going two ways: either you’re doubting that you’re deserving of this offer, or this person coming towards you is not feeling as confident as they’d like about their offer.

For those of you who aren’t looking for a love offer, it could just be a newfound sense of self-worth. Maybe you haven’t been feeling so great about yourself. Or, maybe your emotions have been all over the place. These cards say that you’ll be able to find balance in the emotions, or a way to stop doubting your own self-worth. The moon cards were interesting to me, since all week I’ve been having issues getting any to fall out while I’m shuffling. When I do daily readings, I try not to pull cards. I normally just let things fall out, and sometimes it takes a few times to get one to fall out while shuffling. Today, this didn’t take as many as usual, and two fell out. The Blue Moon card hints that you need to “believe in the impossible”, even going as far as to bring up that quote about Blue Moons, “Once in a blue moon.” It says that you may receive an opportunity that is a once in a life time opportunity (that love offer, perhaps?). This card urges you to believe that things will go in your favor. Full Moon in Pisces is kind of similar, in that the situation is sort of a dreamy one (once in a lifetime), but does point out that Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac, so it brings about endings. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, if anything this just suggests that whatever this offer is, it’s going to change everything. And, the past few days’ readings have really hinted at letting go of things so that you can make room for the new. So, I think it’s kind of interesting that this card fell out and that in the booklet it really makes a point to explain that it can be about endings. Both cards, if inquiring about a person, hint that they’re a soulmate. The Blue Moon card says this person is rare, and Full Moon in Pisces says it’s a soulmate. I’ve heard both six of cups and two of cups be referred to as “soulmate” cards. I think this is extremely interesting, because I have 4 cards here hinting at soulmate connections. You guys, when I first got the first two tarot cards, I got so excited! I really think someone has met someone who may be your soulmate! That is, if you believe in it. If not, this could be someone that you just click with really well. Like you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve only met a few months before. It was so weird that I got excited, because I hadn’t even gotten any other cards yet, but I just had this feeling!

The lyrics are a little less enthusiastic, but still not bad! The lyrics from The National’s Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks goes like this: “All the very best of us string ourselves up for love”. This part of the song always stuck out to me. I don’t listen to it too much (you can tell because I completely forgot to write Geeks on the card lmao). I feel like there’s a few different interpretations for this line. The first being that sometimes we’d do anything for love, even change ourselves. Another being that some of us even feel that love is a be-all, end-all thing. I know this doesn’t sound nice, especially since I just said it seemed like maybe an offer from a soulmate could be coming in. But, I think this is telling you that, you don’t have to change who you are to be loved. Whoever is coming in, loves you for you. It’s so interesting to me that I pulled a song by The National for this too, since, as I’ve stated a few days ago, I’ve got some theories about soulmates and them. It’s almost as if the universe is saying, “Wait, no! Tell us!” But I don’t really want to ramble on some more. I would be freaking out if I’d pulled the the songs I associate soulmates with The National, but I still find this pretty funny.

The other song, Dear April by Frank Ocean is a lovely, soft song. It was put onto streaming services during this past April, amid the pandemic. Though, I guess he’d already had this song written before all of this. Anyway, I’m sure it just made a lot of sense to release it when he did, because it does go eerily well with what was happening at the time. The only reason I even listened to it was this very lyric. I saw it somewhere and it made me feel warm. I don’t know, has a song ever made you feel that way? That’s why there are so many songs by The National in my lyric deck. To me, they’re equivalent with a warm blanket on a cold night! And this song is similar to that feeling I get. The line goes: “But you will make something new and it’ll take you through this.” I feel like it seems to heavily imply a hard situation, but I think this could also be applied to a new relationship.

In terms of who this person could be? That is a little hard for me, since I’m still learning the cards. We can say that they may be from your past with the 6 of cups. The King of Cups has some luscious locks of hair, so maybe this person has hair around that length, or even unnaturally colored hair, like that pretty green color. In terms of cards and their astrological equivalents, we have ALL water cards. I’m leaning more towards Pisces or Cancer, but they could be Scorpios, too. I don’t really like saying these signs as a fact, though. One could be a Pisces, but have several different placements in their chart, so they could show up as any of them. I personally have mostly Libra, Capricorn and Scorpio placements, so really! It can be a mixed bag. Plus, I think people can also embody different energies at different times! in my personal readings, lately, I’ve been coming up as wands, which are equivalent to fire signs, but I have no fire signs in my chart! So, that’s just one example. I think whoever this is, they’re currently super emotional about the whole situation right now. Or, it could just be about you needing to balance your own emotions about something (or someone). The Full Moon in Pisces card suggests mediation. I feel like a broken record at this point, since almost all the cards in that deck suggest it. But I think it just really shows how helpful it can be, especially when trying to figure out your emotions.

Let me know if this resonated and if you do receive an offer!

#tarot #daily readings #it almost felt like the readings this week were leading up to this!#im so excited about this one! I can't wait to see if this actually happens for someone!

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surflove808 · 6 years

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On Destiel and endgame hysteria

Sometimes I get fired up about some of the BS I see in this fandom and this is one of those moments. This post will be a layercake of sentimentality, disappointment, anger and maybe a wee bit (a lot) of profanity. So, you know. Back on my bullshit.

The show that we love, love to hate or hate to love, for better or worse, will see it's final curtain call at the S15 finale. You don't need me to tell you how impactful it's been and how much it means to so many people for a variety of reasons that extend well beyond it's entertainment value. All it takes is one scroll through social media to get a sampling of the reach of this little-show-that-could and by extension (and because of) it's cast, to see that it's beloved by so many. And it deserves the praise, and the end deserves to be lamented - but like TFW has said over and over, and to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, they're doing it their way. For that? I'm happy.

The show has been described as a "juggernaut" and an "institution", and it is. We all know the themes: Finding *your* family, struggle, perseverance, dedication, making mistakes and not always learning from them (but trying), acceptance, the beauty in humanity even when all hope seems lost, redemption, and love... to name the big ones. Now about Love. "Love" is not threatening to burn down houses if your ship isn't made canon. "Acceptance" isn't threatening the cast, crew, producers and network with lawsuits if your ship isn't made endgame. I saw a few posts like that today that had a very disappointing number of likes and reblogs and I'm kinda furious, to be honest. You fucking twits.

As someone who enjoys the show, and respects the determination, sacrifice, hard work, creativity, and yes - Love - that has been poured into this endeavor, I don't think I'm alone when I say - JUST. STOP. You whining, tantrum throwing, self-important, "wouldn't catch a social cue if it had a $100 bill attached to it and was tossed to you from 3 feet away", obnoxious, divisive children.

Accept what the cast, the writers and Eric Freaking Kripke have told you? No... can't do that. Must hop from one lily pad of delusion to the next and have the gall to be self righteous about it. And then pat yourselves on the back for being alternately clever, threatening and obtuse. You're like the Donald Trumps of the SPN fandom. You're not disliked because of your ship. You're disliked because of your personalities. Let that sink in. No one is marginalizing you. You chose to do this to yourselves AND your beloved ship via your words and actions. You sunk your own battleship and now you’re pissed.

I don't affiliate myself with any ship or the other factions of this fandom.... I don't get it. I'm just a fan. A fan of the story, the acting, the tragedy, the comedy, the characters and the character of the actors involved. I don't know what a good "fan" is... don't care. But I know what a bad one is. A bad one thinks that they can take ownership of someone else's art just because they've "invested" in it.

And I apply it to my own life in this way - Here I am doing my thing, putting my creativity out into the world... and what I create matters to me. Every little bit. I throw myself into the things I'm passionate about. And not everyone is going to be thrilled with what I produce. Some people will never see what I put out there, but word travels fast when you genuinely care about your craft. I do what I do because it drives me, and always has. And I do my best to stay true to MY story. And the thought of someone trying to insert themselves into my story because they think they know my creations better than I do, makes me want to punch throats.

And the thought of a group of people actually threatening me and the people I collaborate with because I'm not making their fantasy a reality?? Hey - get fucked sideways without lube, and throw some sand in there for extra discomfort.

I want you (and you know who you are) to have some accountability. Please tell me in what scenario is your behavior warranted or appropriate. Feel free to DM me. I won't "out" you, and I'll never be abusive - I just need to know why. (bullet pointing this because... reading comprehension)

1. WHY is Destiel is the only representation you'll accept.

2. WHY do you think it's funny or "OK" to harass the creatives on this show constantly when you have absolutely no right to their story?

3. WHY do you think that pushing something so hard will get you what you want?

4, And lastly.... WHY is this so important to you?

Can you possibly survive if Destiel isn't made canon? Do you have other hobbies and interests that can fill your time? Because some of ya'll are acting like this is the Be All End All of your existence and I'm here to tell you - it's really not. If it DOES happen, it will be at the discretion of the showrunner and creatives, and I promise you it won’t be because they caved to the small, yet omnipresent faction of Destiehellers that have annoyed the ever-living fuck out of everyone attached to this show. It’ll be on their terms.

The tantrum strategy stops working after age 4, usually....it just seems some of you are late getting the memo. Thanks to your folks. Well done.

Try to appreciate the show for what it is and always has been. If your expectations are unreasonable and are buoyed by years of manips, misquotes and over-analyzation of brief "moments" between ANY characters, and you feel emotional enough about it to behave badly - it's time for a factory reset. This show has never mislead you - you’ve bought into delusion and over-analysis and straight-up fiction pimped to you by fellow “fans” probably before you even watched your first episode. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen. And I’ve seen some shit.

If you’re going to be angry... be angry at your friendly neighborhood Destiel dealer. They chumped you to get more *buy* for their *supply*. Them’s the facts.

That being said.... Can We Just Appreciate The Final Moments That This Amazing Cast And Crew Are Going To Give Us (and you know they will), And Let It The Fuck GO?

You're welcome to block me (you probably should). But before you do that, could you let this sink in a bit? And if you see a fellow shipper being an entitled douche - maybe hold yourself to a higher standard than they do themselves and don't perpetuate it/like/reblog it? Because this behavior is well and truly a shitty way to treat the legacy of this groundbreaking show, and all those that are responsible for bringing it to life.

In other words....Behave. And have some goddamn dignity.

I’m not sure if I’m doing this right, but my response was so long. Eh...whatever. @jessiegail I understand, and please allow me to elaborate. When I was scrolling through the Jensen tags (because the Dean and SPN tags have been overrun by a lot of people with zero respect for the character/show canon, so I stay away anymore. That in and of itself should tell you something)... I was also sharing in the moment, and the news and wanted to see some SPN love and positivity. What I ran into almost immediately was, and I quote: "If they don't make destiel cannon (sic) for the series finale, I'll set their houses on fire. You've been warned." 87 people agreed with @moosewncstr on this sentiment. Now... if it was one shitty person and people steered clear of any affiliation with them for threatening arson because they're completely off their fucking rocker.... that would be easy to ignore. But 87 people?? That’s really, really bad. What I'm seeing and have been seeing, is a hive-mind mentality that doesn't care for acceptance. Doesn't care if it’s abusive. Doesn't care if someone gets their “feelings” hurt. And they absolutely Do Not Care if what they say incites the potential reality of violence, as long as they can force their ship down the throats of as many people as possible and Make It Canon.

And by hive-mind, I mean - NO ONE in the Destiel camp seems to have the degree of autonomy (AKA: Balls) required to rein in the bad apples in their bunch. They either agree or stay silent. So, because you can’t self-regulate, people like me with no concern or desire for your approval have to come in and tell you to knock your shit off. You won’t. But I feel better. And maybe others will feel more comfortable to express their disapproval when shit like this rears its ugly head. Anyone who would think threats (just a joke...hahaha), are acceptable, and those who are in agreement can suck it. And i will not roll over and sing kumbaya with anyone who thinks this is ok. I'm generally careful with the headers and lead-in paragraphs to posts that are potentially inflammatory. A courtesy that is not extended by your brethren. You had ample warning that this post would not be kind to asshole shippers. I don’t think you are one of those people - but, if you’re defending this behavior, I can’t really empathize with you. I also don’t want you to feel targeted. This isn’t about YOU. This is about endemic behavior that has become so toxic, it pretty much can’t be undone. As for paying anything forward, I do not owe people who act like this the time of day, much less a kind word. I have 2 choices: I can stand by and pretend I don't see these things and block, block, block so that I can stay in my bubble. Or, I can take my own little stand on my own little blog and address genuinely disturbing behavior using language of my choice. What I will never do is threaten or abuse any individuals who question my logic. Downside is... you'll get a very long winded explanation. Go, be happy. Enjoy your ship. No one is telling you not to. I'm telling you right now, though - I can't and won't tolerate the bad apples. Best to block me if you're sensitive to the way I word my posts, but understand - I'm not promoting hate or abusive behavior - I'm fighting it. And I will continue to do so as long as I'm on this dumpster fire of a website, because I love this show and I believe all of the creative's, crew and fans deserve some fucking respect.

#SPN Family #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #Destiel #destiehellers #supernatural #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins

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midnightswithdearkatytspb · 5 years

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Everything’s Gonna Be Alright

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC Stark

Rating: PG

Warning(s): Mentions of Character Death, Fluff & Angst

Word Count: 2,235

Info: I entered @littledarlinhavefaithinme Sebastian Stan Summer Song Writing Challenge. I choose to do it based off of Lullaby by Shawn Mullins. So I loosely and I mean loosely based it off the song, where she grew up with Tony, and Bucky does quote my favorite line of the song at the end. Also big thanks to @coffeebucko for making my moodboard!

Synopsis: Bruce snaps everyone back into existence and Thanos is gone. 5 years have passed and many things have changed for Remedy Stark, she’s an older sister, her dads gotten married to her mother figure and she isn't sure where she fits in it all.

Remedy Stark was born at the tail end of the ’80s, her father couldn't tell her much about how she was born but he could tell her about her mother and the story of how she was brought to him. Remedy could recount the story of being dropped off at her dad, Tony’s front doorstep by her mothers grieving friend. How Tony took one look at six-year-old her and cursed under his breath.

Remedy started showing her mutant abilities just a few months after she had moved in with her father. Tony had been working with some tools when he cut his finger open, feeling bad Remedy walked over grabbed her father's finger and kissed it. After telling him it was all better Tony looked down to find it healed with not even a scar left behind. That night they sat at the breakfast nook where Tony made Remedy promise she would keep her powers to them, and she did till she fixed Uncle Rhodey’s broken arm.

Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Bono, Mariah Carey, 2Pac, Elon Musk, Madonna, Michael J. Fox, Kevin Costner, Liv Tyler, Whitney Houston, Richard Branson, Steven Tyler, Bruce Springsteen, Celine Dion, and Leonardo DiCaprio were among the few who partied at the Stark mansion, getting to see Remedy Stark grow up. She learned to speak many languages, her best friend was an artificial intelligence named Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, or Jarvis for short, her father created, till she went to a private charter school.

Now Remedy, wasn’t as smart as her father, but she did skip a few grades here and there, graduating at the age of 14 in 2001. The same year Pepper Potts entered both her and her father's life, she watched them dance around each other in fawning, praying for the day when either her dad grew mature or one of them made a move. That was also the year her second mutation activated, all Remedy had to do was think of a place she wanted to be and she would end up there, unfortunately, it happened in front of both Pepper and her father. It became a family secret.

Years went by, she watched the only woman she ever saw as a mother figure dive in love with her father, while he became a superhero. Aliens it turned out were real, a frozen super-soldier her father spent his entire existence in the shadow was alive, assassins could have their own family and be a damn good friend, also Nazis it turned out were still around.

Being called an Avenger was pretty amazing, but what felt even more amazing to Remedy was saving lives. Fixing the wrongs in the world that you could. Remedy found a family in the Avengers. Wanda was someone who was her own and that could relate to the pressures of being someone with powers. Steve soon after the battle New York, became her best friend, a brother she never she wanted, along with Clint and Sam. Natasha, well she was another Aunt and another mother figure of sorts who brought along Bey. Bey was Natasha’s child, her pride and joy, but also Remedy’s best friend.

Turns out when you get shocked by Thor when trying to save a small nation, well it can awaken hidden powers where you can open portals. Soon everyone knows your secrets and governments well they don't care that you are a Stark, or that you save lives, they notice the fallout you leave behind.

Remedy knew Steve and her father Tony getting along was never going to last, they always had a fallout but they always came together in the end. This time Remedy wasn't able to foretell the destruction, Thunderbolt Ross would have on the group. Remedy left to go bury her Godmother Peggy Carter, then the next thing she knew she was a wanted fugitive.

Tony wanted her to hate Bucky, for killing her grandparents she barely knew, but she couldn't find it in her. It wasn't Bucky’s fault it was the men behind the controls. She could be angry at Steve for not telling her father but she could easily forgive him attempting to protect his best friend, she would do the same for Wanda and Bey.

When it was all over, said and done, T’Challa welcomed Remedy along Bey to lay low in Wakanda when they weren't trying to be vigilantes. Pepper would meet up with Remedy behind Tony’s back, updating her on her father as well as her godfather. Always going their separate ways with a hug and tears in their eyes.

Than Thanos happened and one moment she was assisting Natasha to get up after healing her broken arm, getting ready to open a portal, next she saw her body turning to ash before her very eyes. Next, she was standing between Sam Wilson, Bucky with Bey who was transformed into a Mammoth with both Princess Shuri and Spiderman on their back, as they were being portalled back to New York.

Remedy fought long and hard, the burning feeling in lungs, long since came a constant reminder she was alive. Working back to back with Wanda most of the fight, sending people her way, or defending Spider-Man, or well Peter, he had stopped to introduce himself and to apologize for the black eye back in Germany. Yeah, she could grow to like the kid and could see why her dad did too.

Seeing her dad again for the first time in what felt like forever, was crazy, especially when Remedy half expected him to yell at her, instead he hugged her. Remedy honestly couldn't remember the last time her father had hugged her. He held her tightly to the metal suit he had long lost his helmet it seemed, Remedy could have sworn she felt tears hit her scalp.

“You are so grounded young lady, I don’t care if you are 30 years old, you are grounded! No television, phone, no boys, we are going to have a long talk about what it means to be a vigilante and not talk to our parents.” Tony broke the silence that surrounded them, trying to make his daughter laugh, while she tugged him down to dodge a laser beam heading their way.

Remedy wasn't sure how long the fight even lasted but for her, it ended with her on Bey’s Polar Bear form a few yards away from Bruce Banner who was in possession of the gauntlet. Bruce snapped and the next thing she noticed was the aliens they had been fighting were turning to dust. Thanos was defeated and all of a sudden it felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders. Exhaustion hit Remedy hard and it was expected so the last thing she remembered was the white fur, hitting her face before she was caught by Clint.

The drive to wherever they were going seemed to drag on as Remedy got stuck between the two super soldiers, a guy named Frank Castle was driving and he wouldn't let anyone touch for stereo. Somehow Sam had won a coin toss and got to ride shotgun, while in the very back Bey was sharing their iPod with Wanda and Karen Page, was snoring.

When Remedy came to in the back of a truck that belonged to Castle, Pepper had been pushing her hair back. Tears had been cascading down her face even though she was smiling, Remedy had tried to smile but everything in her body has hurt. Pepper was in her suit of armor, Remedy remembered choking out the colors were far better than Dad’s, making Pepper laugh. Tony had leaned over the side of the truck kissing the crown of her head, reminding her favoritism sucked.

Soon they were invited back to Stark-Potts household because of course they got married, but it turns out they no longer lived in the city but out by Lake George. The two-hour drive listening to classic rock and alternative rock, barley any legroom, the constant sniff, and cough was starting to get to Remedy. Almost making her wish she had taken up the Peter Quill guy, or even Scott Lang offers up for a lift.

As Hozier’s voice crooned about how he should have taken better care of his lover, the road Frank had turned on to suddenly became bumpy. Steve sat up straighter, suddenly elbowing Remedy in the ribs with his sharp elbow, causing her to take a deep intake of breath. Bucky reached around Remedy smacking his best friend on the back of the skull, getting a laugh out of Wanda and Bey in the back. Steve gave her an apologetic look as they drew closer to a cabin that looked almost luxurious, right away Remedy knew this was one of her Dad’s places.

As the Range Rover came to a slow stop, Remedy noticed Happy, Pepper, and Rhodey standing on the porch together, with drinks in their hands. Remedy followed Bucky out of the car and saw the lake to her left, it's beauty was serene, she could see why Pepper and her Dad would settle here. Suddenly arms were around Remedy’s legs and holding on tightly to her, with no foreseeable plan to let go it seemed.

“Remy, Daddy said he would bring you home and he did! Mom said you would teach me how to play guitar and you’d Dutch braid. I’m so happy your home.” Remedy stared down at the little girl at her legs in confusion before she heard footsteps nearing, and a hand was placed on top of the little girls head. That hand is turned our belonged to her father and beside him was Pepper, both of which were smiling at her.

“Remedy, this is Morgan, we had her shortly after the snap. Morgan this is your older sister Remedy.” Tony was now holding Morgan in his arms, who continued to stare at Remedy was adoration.

“I know who Remedy is Daddy, I have her picture at my bedside, I tell her goodnight every night and I read to her. Well not her, the picture of her, but now I can read to her because you brought her home to us, as you promised!” Remedy felt her heart rate skyrocket, she had a sister, she had been gone five years and so much has changed. To the right, she could hear Bey screaming no, as Clint was saying sorry, everything felt louder, her breathing more shallow.

“Remy?” Pepper put her hand on her shoulder like she used to do when she was a teenager, and she felt the world was out to get her, but Pepper always reassured her, she was stronger than those who brought her down. Remy tried her hardest to smile at Morgan, but she felt perhaps it still came out more like a grimace than anything else.

“Morgan, it's so good to meet you. If you don't mind, I just need a second to catch my breath.” Remedy had reached over and squeezed her little sister soft delicate hand in a loving gesture before she turned away from her family. Her legs taking her out towards the edge of the dock of the lake, hands-on her hips she found herself struggling to breathe as her mind raced.

Where did she belong now? Why did she have to leave all those years ago, she should have come home with the tail tucked between her legs and signed the accords, they could have been a family. She had missed out on the wedding, the one she had wished for since she was a pre-teen, on her birthday cakes and falling stars. Tony had taken in Peter Parker, Spider-Man who was a pretty cool kid, but still, she missed out on seeing them interact. Here she was a big sister and she missed five years of bed life and yet she seemed to know everything about her, acted like she was the best thing in the world. What would Morgan think when she found out that she wasn't all that great?

An arm around her shoulder, the scent of metal, tea tree, sandalwood, amber, leather, and moss hit her nose, indicating Bucky was the one at her side. He ran his flesh hand up and down her arm, as he put his face in her hair shushing her as she began to cry. Remedy didn't need to be told that Natasha was also gone, along with Vision, people they lost in the war. Her family was falling apart and she felt so broken, yet here was a man she spent weeks on the run, months in Wakanda with, comforting her.

“I’m not sure about you, but I feel a little lost right now, but that's because we are in a strange place, but I promise you Remedy, you got me. You aren’t alone and we’ve got Sam and Bey as well as Steve.” Remedy kept her head in the crook of Bucky’s neck as the vibrations of his voice soothed her along with the smoothing up and down motions of him rubbing her back.

“Everything’s going to be alright.” Bucky kissed the crown of her forehead and looked out at the water while he just held Remedy in his. He vowed to keep her safe and maybe they could help each other piece themselves back together in this messed up world.

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kattheninjalibrarian · 4 years

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You’re Still Single Because...

As I’ve been thinking more and more about singleness within the church, what it’s like to be a 34 year old single christian woman and all that comes with it, I have been thinking about all of the reasons that people like me are being told we are still single. Now, some of us know exactly why we are still single, but these are the things we are being told by others. Yes, I have really heard some of the things that I will be addressing from people who go to church. Others are reasons that people have told me they’ve heard as well. It’s no wonder that some single people within the church are hurting and feeling ashamed when these are the words being said to us. Keep in mind these are just personal experiences, you may take them or leave them as you wish.

1. “You’ll only get married once you’ve reached your peak spiritual maturity.” - It seems there is an assumption among married people that God will only bring you your spouse once you’ve hit your highest level of spiritual maturity. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe that we are ever going to reach our “peak” until we see Jesus face to face. Every single day is a chance to learn, grow and deepen our relationship with Him. There is never going to be a time while I am alive and breathing that I am going to be the most spiritually mature that I could ever possibly be. How does that saying go? “I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.” Thank God for that! Being told you aren’t spiritually mature enough to get married is very hurtful, especially when we all know people who are married that are still extremely immature. Do I believe that there are things that God wants us to work on while he’s preparing us for marriage? Absolutely. But I don’t believe that He is ever going to look down on us one day and say “Ok, you’ve hit your highest level of maturity...here’s your spouse!” I believe everything is a daily, continuous process.

2. “You have nothing to offer anyone because you can’t have children.” - This is a very sensitive subject for many, including myself. As someone who has stage 4 endometriosis and only one ovary, it makes us feel like the only reason someone would ever want to marry us is for the sole purpose of having children. Without being able to do that, we are worthless. It also doesn’t help that the church seems to have made families/having children into an idol. It seems that having children is all part of the social status within the church. You can’t really be part of the club without them. I’m not saying that children aren’t a gift, the Bible says that they are (Psalm 127:3), and they should be celebrated. But I am of the opinion that having children is not the end all be all of a christian life, nor is having children the only good gift that God will ever give us. If it was, what would that mean for those of us who will never have that as a reality in our lives? What does that do not only for the women, but for the men who will never be able to have children? If we believe that God has a specific, unique plan for every single person, then we must accept that for some of us, having biological children is not part of that plan. And the church needs to accept that that is ok. We should believe whole heartedly that God will use everyone who has a willing heart and is willing to follow Him, no matter if they can have children or not, and that He loves us all regardless. I believe it’s time that we as a church stop putting a negative social stigma onto those who do not have children, and accept that Jesus loves them just as much as he does anybody else.

3. “You’re not a virgin, christian men/women are only going to marry a virgin.” - Now, this is a touchy one. The Bible is very clear about what it says regarding sex. But there are some people who did not grow up in a christian home. There are some people who were not christians in their 20s when everyone in the church was getting married. There are also people that have divorced or who are widows/widowers. And out in the world, the norm is to sleep around in your 20s, and even your 30s. Heck, it’s normal to sleep around at any age beyond the church walls. You would be hard pressed to find a new believer in their 30s or later who is still a virgin. Actually, you would be hard pressed to find any non-married christian couple that has been going to church for a long time still waiting for marriage. But that is an entirely different topic all together. Telling someone who has met Jesus at a later time in life that because they aren’t a virgin nobody will ever marry them is almost like telling them that you don’t believe Jesus will forgive their sins. Why is it that we as a church treat sexual sins different than any other sin? Do we believe that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)” or not? I don’t believe that God has a hierarchy of sin; that is, I don’t believe He categorizes sins from “best” to “worst” as it were. Sin is sin. It’s like if you were to take two plain pieces of white paper. On one, you draw a giant dot with a black sharpie. On the other, you draw a tiny little dot. The point is not the size of the dot. The point is that the paper is no longer perfectly white. Both papers are now marked and imperfect. No matter the “size” of our sin, God wants to take it all away and make us as white as snow, as pure white as that plain white piece of paper. That’s why He sent Jesus for us. Because He loves us. So why are we treating those with a sexual past differently than anybody else? Why are we so quick to accept some people and not others? They have come to Jesus. Jesus has forgiven them. I believe it’s time to start giving people some grace and love in this department. Nobody is going to start making better choices and healing if we aren’t going to help and love them. Telling them nobody is going to want them is neither helping or loving.

4. “You’re too old.” - I may have discussed this a bit in a previous post, but it seems that within the church people start to think there is something seriously wrong with you if you aren’t married by the time you’re 25. I have personally been told, and I quote, that I am “past my expiration date of my dating market value, and that I have nothing to offer at my age that a younger woman can’t give ten times over.” Honestly, what does that even mean? And what the heck is a dating market value?! Are we really to believe that Jesus sees us as having some kind of expiration date and after that we aren’t of any value? Absolutely not! The one thing that I have always struggled with in church is that people basically make it out to be like your life doesn’t start until you get married. Well I’m sorry, but my life started the second I came out of the womb! Technically, the moment I was conceived. If we as a church truly believe that it’s never too late to try something new, to start over, to give your life to Jesus, and to begin again like we say we do, then we as a church should also believe there is no age limit on when you can get married. We each have one life to live, and we can’t truly live it if we are taught to believe it doesn’t start until you say “I do.”

5. “You’re not attractive enough.” - Ugh, this one hits me in all the feels. I don’t know how many times I personally have been told “you’re never gonna get a man if you don’t stop doing your hair in that old lady librarian bun!” or “you don’t do your hair and makeup enough, do you think a man is ever going to marry you when you look like that?” I can guarantee you that as a woman if I have been told this in the church, others have too. I know women who have been told similar things. You may not think it happens, but trust me. It does. There may be pressure on us out in the world to look good, but I have felt the pressure to be 100x more intense within the church. Because the older you get, the less chance you have of meeting anybody. So you have to be 100% on point at all times. And because the ratio of single women to single men in church is literally like 15:1, men can have their pick. See people, especially men it seems, like to play the “charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30)” card. I don’t know how many times I have heard christian men say that verse out loud. Or how many times I saw that on someone’s online dating profile when I gave online dating a try (it was awful in case you were wondering). But to me, it seems that most don’t actually believe that. If we really believed what God said to Samuel when he said “For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7),” then maybe we would stop putting people down about the way they looked and we would start seeing them as God sees them. That’s not to say that physical attraction isn’t going to play a role in deciding if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, because it will to some degree. It’s just to say that we need to chill out and take it easy on people.

6. “God isn’t important enough to you, you have to make Him your first priority before He will let you get married.” - The amount of times as single people we hear that we aren’t satisfied enough in our relationship with God is more than can be counted, especially since most of the time we hear it from married people. I’m sorry, but you got married at the age of 22 and you haven’t had to go without sex for over a decade or more. I believe that most people that say things like this have no business doing so, and they have never experienced being single for a long period of time. To be quite frank, and I don’t mean to sound rude, I don’t think anybody who has been married since their early 20s and has never experienced true, prolonged singleness has any business telling you that your relationship with Jesus isn’t important enough to you. They have no clue what it’s like to be single in today’s christian church. You can love Jesus, serve Jesus and follow Jesus and still want to be married! I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that. So why are married people telling us it’s wrong to want to be married? Aren’t you...married?! That seems very hypocritical. Like I said earlier, I believe all of us have ways we can learn and grow in our relationship with Jesus every single day. There are some very mature single people. And there are some immature married people. Do we all have problems with getting our priorities straight at times in our lives? Sure. That happens whether you’re married or single. There are varied levels of maturity in all walks of life.

7. “You aren’t content enough in your singleness, God won’t let you get married until you’re content with what you have now.” - I’m not gonna lie, there are many advantages to being single. I have all the time and freedom in the world to do what I want to do. I actually have the time to make sure that my relationship with Jesus is my first priority, even though some married people seem to think that’s not what we’re doing. But if I want to binge watch Once Upon a Time on Netflix, guess what?! I can! If I want to take a last minute trip to see Hanson in concert, I can and most certainly will. If I want to go serve somewhere on the weekend, like Lighthouse Ministries, I can. If I want to go get coffee at Mountain View Espresso at the last minute, I can. I can do so many things that a married person can’t do, because I have the time and the means to do them. But there are things that I simply cannot do as a single woman. For example, I used to work at a school district as the elementary librarian. There were a couple of boys who are brothers that begged me to take them to church with me. One was in 5th grade and one was in 12th grade. I so wanted to take them with me. But because of all the things that are happening in schools regarding student/teacher sexual relationships (gross), I couldn’t. As a still somewhat young single woman, I cannot take two teenage boys with me alone anywhere without it being a problem. It’s wrong, I should be able to do it, but that’s just how things are. And the worst part is that every week for months on end, one boy would ask me “Miss Buckingham, when is someone going to come take me to church? I waited for someone to show up to get us! Why can’t you just do it?” And even after me asking and begging people in the area where they lived, there were ZERO men willing to go and pick those boys up and take them to church. It’s not like they even lived out of the way from anybody! I was willing. I was ready. But because I don’t have a husband, I couldn’t do what I needed to do. To this day, it still makes me cry to think about that. I can’t think or write about it without getting upset. I feel like I let them down. A chance was missed for those boys to be in church and meet Jesus, and that’s what they wanted! But because I’m not married, I couldn’t say “Hey, let’s go get these kids and take them to church.” You see, single people 100% know the advantages and the benefits of being married. Of having someone there for you. We absolutely know there is more to a marriage than some married people think we do. And just because we know we have a good life being single and that we are blessed by the things Jesus gives us does not mean that it’s wrong for us to want to be married!

There are many more things that I and others have been told, but I want to end with this quote that I found from someone while researching christian singleness. After reading so many articles and posts from so many christian people who are truly hurting and lonely, listening to my single friends, and of course knowing how I personally feel, I felt that it would be appropriate. The verse they use comes from the book of Job in the Bible. If you know anything about Job, you know that he went through a crazy amount of pain and suffering. While the pain of singleness pales in comparison to what he went through, I understood the sentiment:

“To understand the grief of singleness, one must read Job 6:2-3. ‘Oh, that my grief were fully weighed, and my calamity laid with it on the scales! For then it would be heavier than the sand of the sea...’ We don’t grieve out of jealousy, we grieve out of what appears to be out of our reach. Loss. We grieve intimate conversations where words are not required but touch is understood. We grieve waking up in the morning with a good morning kiss. We grieve the human touch of loving arms wrapped around us. We grieve the possibility of never having children of our own. We grieve the idea of not having an answer when we are asked ‘when are you getting married?’ We grieve when we are the third wheel at every event. We grieve when we make excuses for not attending that birthday party, or that wedding, or that get together. You see, our grief is not rooted in jealousy, but rather, our grief is rooted in loss.”

I hope you know that no matter your relationship status, what you’ve done, what you’ve been through, what you’ve been told by others, the sin you’ve committed or the mistakes you’ve made, that Jesus loves you! He forgives you, and He wants to have a relationship with you.

#christian singles #singleness #single christians #single christian women #single Christian men #single

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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A Dream, Bad, and Bruh: ACTUALLY, IT'S A HEY, LOOK, GREG HAS A PURSE! E. EMBROIDERED BOOKBAG. Hehehehe, Frank Griffin here! I am here to explain this funny may-may I found while browsing through the site "r/Loded Diper", place where fellow may-may experts like me share their best funny jokes about Diary of a by Wimpy Kid, a cartoon novel written hohe other than Jeff Kinney. Now, what do have here? If youre familiar with the book, youll recognize that there is Greg Heffley the middle, the protagonist of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. In the original image, Greg stitched a purse, but called it an embroidered handbag" so he won't lose his dignity. However, it doesn't work and he gets called a girl for it. this image Now that the background has been cleared up, let's look It has been posted by u/ThatSippyChicken the 18th 2019 oh may (by UTC time). This means it's very recent, compared to the even funnier Minion memes I share with my grandkids. Greg is surrounded by two unknown teenagers. The short-haired kid the left is pointinga finger having a speech bubble over him (This implies he's saying something.). to the right (probably at Greg) and The text on the speech bubble says "HEY, LOOK, GREG HAS A", and then "EMBROIDERED BOOKBAG" below, but distorted. Greg reacts with saying "ACTUALLY, ITS ONLY A PURSE!" followed by blank space ow. The last kid with acne has a nearly empty speech bubble, only saying "E". Diary of a Wimpy Kid artstyle. Oh, Greg is holding the purse I talked about previously in the image!If you look closely, you at the end. Everything is drawn in the typical thing I forgot to mention: ohe can even see that the word "Grea" is stitched on it- IS Okay, the description of the image is over. Now, let's get the analysing part. I examined every part of the image and compared it with other maymays from around the same time and site. But then, I couldn't believe what I found out! This maymay on r/LodedDiper falls under the category of modern internet memes. You may have heard of the word from your kids, maybe grandkids, and that's because it's a Millennial (yes, the Avocado eveh toast generation. / Generation Z movement. The concept of Memes itself is too complex, Ill explain it on a seperate page, but, to be short, Memes are funny internet maymays that require Some sort of insider knowdlege to be understandable. Memes are very special of humour, because, unlike other funny maymays, the humour of Memes ih terms always based on either relatability or absurdity. This can be shown is this image too: The incosistency of logic and font size makes the oh absurdity of this maymay visible. The "E" has a very complex background, but it can be said that it's referencing another modern Meme. This absurd humour combined with what used to be a page from a normal cartoon hovel is what makes this maymay funny. When I realized this, I had to LOLWHMWADCC (Laughing Out Loud While Hitting Manny With A Diet Coke Condom)! explain why I chose exactly this maymay symbolizes the change in youth humour. At last, I need to for explanation. That's because it new generation doesn't laugh though they based on either relatability or absurdity. While this change The at Minioh maymays anymore (even very funny., they laugh at modern memes that are dre to more complex humour can be considered a cultural step forwards, it can also be unhealthy for the kids. For example, Memes about depression and suicide, which are very popular, can make someone relating to it even depressed (The argument of these being a coping technique falls Alat here, that has been disproven). But, good or not, it's definetily more an important change in Internet, even the entirety of western culture. This Meme symbolizes the new age of humour, Meme humour. Besthany. And now, I finally explained to you what Memes are, Frank Griffin PS: If read this on r/LodedDiper, go check out the subreddit you r/ExplainItPeter! And the other way around, of course. PPS: is br ald Hehehehehehe, someone's here! No, it's not Frank Griffin (Right now he's busy explaining a Minion meme), it's not Sans Undertale (Off fighting Lugi), it's me: Peter Heffley! Who am I, you may ask? Well, I am the colleague and best buddy of the world famous Frank Griffin. Ah, now that I'm mentioning him, all the memories are flooding back. Whenever there was a cringe nae nae meme, a darn millennial or even a bruh moment, we stuck together. And after decades of friendship he eventually offered me a dream come true: A job in the Meme Explaining Laboratory! So, now I'm here explaining a few memes here and there (Frank does the over- whelming majority of them, though) and, more importantly, critically analysing his very own explanations, because nothing is perfect! (Except for stepping on a crunchy leaf.) Unlike him, I will use Arial instead of the official Wimpy Kid font, simply because this is more readable. Otherwise, my critique is pretty much the same. So, get ready for some high IQ text reading, because we're going to enter the Meme world once again! Alright, we finally got through the long introduction I now have several ways to begin the main part, but I'm honestly not sure where to. I could start with citing his first line, analysing his formatting or referenzing the pipe strip video. But I will do none of these things. Instead, I will dig straight to the core of his explanations, and praise or critique anything in the process. Ergo, I'll start with the nature of his text itself. It's, compared to the usual Internet posts, very text-heavy. However this isn't a big surprise since both of us know how much Frank can dive into a subject. He puts a photo of himself in the top left corner below the image he's analyzing, and his text is written solely in the "WimpyKid" font, which already is my first problem. It may have been suitable if it was used in a short paragraph or two, but using it in an entire explanation is a major design flaw. However, this is not the only problem I have with Frank's text, (Don't take it personally, bucko) which brings me to analyzing the content of his explanation, and his ultimate message near the bottom end. Okay, I'll be honest. I don't like the message. His main part of the analysis may have been on the better side, in comparision to his other posts, but this time Frank really shot himself in his cock and balls this time. Saying that "Meme humour is overtaking regular humour" is overly dramatizising and simply putting in a wrong light what is really going on inside the meme creation scene. Frank, I'm sorry to tell it to ya, but a near-sudden cultural shift in humour is not going to happen, pal. What is really happening is that younger kids like to distance themselves from older generations as much as possible, may it be via clothing, music politics or, in this case, humour. Most teenagers eventually just grow out of their phase of shutting themselves off of older people. That eventually happens either when they marry, or when they enter their 30's. I am not saying that a and progressing culture is bad, however it's a lie to say those teens will keep their culture with them as they grow old. Just take hippies, as am example Some of you may remember them promoting peace and other values, and generally having a very liberal mindset. Now, who were those hippies? This answer may be a suprise to you, but those hippies were (mostly) boomers. Yup, the same generation that is nowadays known for being notoriously authoritarian and close-minded. People can change. And those who laugh about their memes now will probably change too, once they reach a certain age. The only thing in favor of Frank's argument is the existence of the Internet. Although that argument isn't that much of a punch when considering the very likely possibility that another game changing form of media will probably pop up within the next few decades. Memes will simply not prevail, or they will be warped beyond recognition (Not as in becoming more abstract and surreal (which is also a very widely spread belief about Memes)), by having different unwritten rules for Memes. If a time traveler from 2011 saw a changing modern meme page from today, they wouldn't think those memes would be funny or should even be called memes. What we call memes now, will be forgotten in the future. To cut it short, memes will not have a major effect on culture, nor will they even be remembered in 20+ years. One more thing. Frank stated that Greg Heffley was saying "Actually, it's only a purse!" in the Meme he explained. That is incorrect, though. Greg says "Actually, it's a purse!" without the "only". I think it's highly unprofessional that he tries to deeply analyze a meme and then doesn't even quote the text correctly. It makes me feel like Frank is just doing this for the fame and money by focussing on dramaticising viewpoints instead of being scientifically accurate. This is probably the true reason Bethany left him and took the kids. Not because she "loved Chad more instead of a nice man like me", as Frank said, but because she can't stand him becoming increasingly narcissistic and delusional about his fame anymore. It's actually sickening me how he is cutting of more and more of his friends and family and doesn't even care for fans either. I know I will probably be fired by Frank for publishing this, but the problem is only turning bigger and bigger with no sight of him changing his ways. Frank should honestly take a break from his job and go visit his kids again. After all, he never bothered to see them once Bethany "took them away" from him. He can visit his children anytime he wants to, but he rather likes to work on another money milking machine again (which is ironically the reason the kids chose Bethany.) Alright, it's time to end this text. Looking back at it, it seems like it's 1/3 explanation, 1/3 critique and 1/3 open letter. I planned this to just be an extension of Frank's analysis and another lie about how we are getting along just fine, but now it turned into a half-agressive rant about him. But I just had to vent my frustations about my buddy. I know he hasa heart somewhere down below his thick skull, but for now it's simply how I and everyone else close to him perceive Frank. Hopefully he'll try to change. Peter Heffley PS: Frank, if you are reading this, please don't fire me for writing this. Try to reflect instead. PPS: Haha PP lol PPPS: I just went to r/Expla memes made me LOLWHMWADCCAEFP nltPeter, and all of the (Laughing Out Loud While Hitting Manny With A Diet Coke Condom And Eating Frank's Penis) out loud! Go visit that subreddit! Thanks for the explanation, Peter Heffley!

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #A Dream #Bad #and Bru

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averagemarvelbitch · 5 years

Text

The Billionaire and The Mechanic / STONY

Summary: Steve is a billionaire who worked hard to get where he is. He meets Tony, the mechanic, and falls in love faster than he ever thought possible. But Tony has some issues to work through, and some secrets he’s clearly not ready to share, and Steve’s friends, ever so overprotective, are not really trusting of this strange mechanic who seems to have the billionaire wrapped around his little finger.

They soon find out that loving someone isn’t always easy, but it might be worth it in the end.

Chapters: 6/?

Tagging: @huntersociopathavenger @inmyownweirdworld

Read it on AO3

---

They were about to celebrate their one month anniversary and Steve could not be happier. After that particular night in his apartment, where they spent the night together in each other’s arms and Steve had woken up to a very eager Tony kissing his way down his body, they’d had a very frank talk over breakfast. Steve had opened his heart to the mechanic without fear or hesitation. Tony, on his part, had listened intently with a smile on his face and, when the blond was finally finished with his speech, had simply replied with a very emotional I love you too. Needless to say, neither of them made it to work that day.

As the weeks passed, they grew even closer and, slowly, Tony started to share more and more of his previous life with his boyfriend. My father was not a very nice person, he’d said one day while they made dinner, he beat me and always made me feel like I was a failure. Steve had listened, nodding when necessary, and when Tony was done, he’d merely hugged him tight, kissing his hair. We had a butler and he was the one who raised me, he told Steve another time, when they were watching a movie, I considered him my father and he considered me a son. He died of a heart attack while I was at MIT and my parents didn’t even have the decency to call me and tell me. I didn’t go to his funeral, he said sniffling, with tears in his eyes, while Steve pulled him closer, touching his forehead with his lips and murmuring words of comfort.

Tony also got closer to Steve’s friends. He had insisted they invite the others over for dinner and refused to take no for an answer. Defeated, Steve had agreed with him in the end and invited the gang over, but not before having a very long conversation with them about respect and boundaries. They all came over on a Friday night. They ordered some pizzas and played board games. At first, they were all very nervous and stiff, and made very little eye contact with Tony. By the end of the night, Bucky was standing on the table, pointing his finger at Tony and screaming that he was a freaking thief while the others laughed and told him he was a sore loser. After that, they decided it would be better to stop playing Monopoly.

Overall, Steve could not be happier. Everything was working perfectly in his life. His boyfriend, who he loved very much and who loved him in return, was starting to trust him enough to share more and more about his previous life. His friends not only accepted his boyfriend, but also welcomed him to the group with arms wide open, treating him like he was one of them. And, of course, the cherry on top: Steve and Tony had confessed their deep feelings for each other and were now officially a couple. Life could not be more perfect, which was probably why destiny decided to throw some rain on their parade.

It was a Thursday when things started to get complicated. Tony had slept over at Steve’s the previous night and left the next morning, after some shower sex and a very nice breakfast. Steve had insisted on giving him a ride, but the mechanic had adamantly refused, assuring the blond that he was more than capable of taking a cab. They parted ways with a kiss and a promise to see each other later that night. Steve watched the cab go with a longing smile on his face and, when it turned the corner and disappeared from view, he finally checked his phone.

>>Stane called. He’s insisting you meet him at his new tower. – M.

Steve frowned, typing a reply.

<<Did you tell him I don’t usually make house calls?

He got in the car, eyes still on his phone as Happy closed the door.

>>Yes, I did. That’s why I said he was insisting. He says he’s very busy today and that he’s sure you’d make an exception for him because you two are, and I quote, “more than just business partners”. – M.

Steve rolled his eyes. They were definitely not more than just business partners. In fact, they were barely that, especially now that Stane had been selling them old tech and trying to pass it as new. Still, the blond sighed and replied.

<<Yeah, tell him I’ll meet him there. Might as well, since we’re probably gonna drop him when the contract’s over.

>>Sending the address to Happy’s GPS right now. – M.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the big, ugly tower with a huge Stark Industries written on the top. He exited the car, buttoning his suit and walked inside the building. A red headed woman in a suit quickly came to greet him.

“Hello, Captain Rogers. I’m Virginia Potts, Mr. Stane’s personal assistant. Please follow me, he’s in the workshop waiting for you”.

“A pleasure to meet you, Miss Potts”, Steve nodded and followed her to the private elevator. They rode it in complete silence. When the doors opened minutes later, Steve couldn’t help but look around with wide eyes.

The workshop, as Miss Potts had called it, was like something out of a sci-fi movie. Steve couldn’t name half the things in there.

“Ah, Captain! I’m so glad you could come”, Stane exclaimed in a welcoming tone. Steve knew he was being polite, but, for some reason, every time that man opened his mouth the blond would get chills, and not the good kind.

“Mr. Stane. I don’t usually make house calls, but I was nearby so it was no trouble”, he said, shaking the man’s hand, “I would like to know why exactly I’m here, though”.

“Yes, yes. Virginia? Please, bring us some scotch”.

“Water for me, please, Miss Potts”, Steve intervened.

“No drinks before lunch, Captain? What, the missus will be mad or something?”

“Just not much for drinking in general, Mr. Stane”, he replied, trying very hard to sound polite, “Now, the purpose of this meeting?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Have you seen our newest weapon? I call it the Jericho. It should be operational within a few weeks”, Stane said, gesturing to what seemed to be a simple missile.

Steve got a bit closer and looked at it, frowning. “A missile? Mr. Stane, I don’t see how my company would need missiles. We’re not going to war with anyone”.

“Oh, no. I didn’t bring you here for the Jericho, Captain, but for a… let’s say business proposition. Just hear me out. SHIELD trains the best people. And I happen to know a few people in very high positions in our government who would be very interested in a… let’s say… merger”, he started, gesturing to the chair nearby. Steve sat down, still looking very suspicious. “We both know how the world works. Civilians think it’s all black and white, good and bad, but we know better. There is a lot of grey out there. And sometimes there are missions, things that must be done, that the public would never understand. So they have entire teams for it, teams that remain in secret and do their jobs in secret”.

“Are you suggesting SHIELD should become some sort of shady organization?”

“All I’m saying is that SHIELD trains the best people, Captain. You’re not just training security agents, you’re training spies”, Stane said in a soft tone, “Yes, I know about your friend, Miss Romanov, is it? She was KGB, was she not? And now she trains your people”.

“I’m starting to sense a little threat in your words, Stane, and I gotta tell you, I don’t do well with threats. So you should measure your next words very carefully”, Steve replied in a warning tone.

“No threat here, my boy!”, he said with a booming laugh, “No threat, just a business opportunity. Think about it… SHIELD could be the next CIA”.

“We are not interest in that. We do security, that’s it. And if that’s all you called me here for…”

“Calm down, my boy, it was just an idea. I have some new tech I need to show you”, he said, typing something on his phone, “The engineers should be here in a minute”.

“I’m not interested in any new tech…”, Steve started to said, but was interrupted by something grabbing and pulling him by the shirt. He turned around and found himself face to face with what appeared to be a very big robot.

The robot in question let his shirt go and raised its claw ― or was it its head? Maybe it was both ―, opening and closing it as if he was blinking at Steve.

“What…?”

“That’s DUM-E”, Miss Potts answered, having suddenly appeared with a tray. She gave Stane the glass of scotch and offered Steve the bottle of water, which he politely accepted. And then suddenly, it hit him.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

“That’s DUM-E”, the red head repeated with a small smile.

In a blink, a memory from a few weeks ago suddenly appeared on his head. I had a robot, I built him myself from scratch, he saw Tony say with sad eyes inside his own mind, His name was DUM-E. He’s probably been destroyed now or sold for parts.

“His name is DUM-E?”, Steve asked, softly petting the claw, who chirped as if it were happy.

“Yes. It’s just a dumb robot. We’ve tried shutting it down or dismantling it for parts, but it gets aggressive every time someone gets close”, Stane explained, taking a sip from his glass, “I’m actually surprised he’s letting you touch him”.

Suddenly, everything made sense. He eyed the missile, the Jericho, on the table and clenched his jaw.

“How much for him?”

“I’m sorry?”, Stane asked, feigning surprise.

“How much for the robot?”

“You want to buy the robot”.

“Yes. Was the question not clear?”

Miss Potts was staring at them, apprehensive.

“This is a special robot…”, Stane started, but was interrupted by the other.

“How much?”, Steve repeated.

Stane smiled as if Christmas had come earlier this year.

---

Tony exited the car, looking around with a suspicious look. He hadn’t told Steve, hadn’t wanted to bother or worry him, but for some time now he’d had the feeling he was being watched. Whether it was at the car shop, at his apartment or when he was arriving at Steve’s building, it was look he could feel someone’s eyes trained on him. It was disconcerting to say the least, but every time he looked around and searched for the source he found no one. By now, Tony was convinced his mind was playing tricks on him. So, once again, he shook his head, trying to get his paranoia out of his mind, and walked inside the building.

He took the elevator to Steve’s apartment and opened the door with a smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to see Steve and hug him and kiss him. Tony had had boyfriends before, but none of them had been even remotely like Steve. He was sweet, kind, understanding. Sometimes, Tony just had to look at him and his heart would fill with so much love and happiness he actually felt like he might explode. And being able to see him, everyday, to sleep and wake up in his arms, it was just the best feeling in the world. He was amazing. And he’s mine, he thought to himself, locking the door behind him and taking his coat off as he walked towards the living room.

“Honey, I’m home”, he called out in a playful tone.

He heard a loud crashing sound, as if someone had just dropped something very happy, and then suddenly… Was that… beeping? Tony turned around, confused, and saw it. Looking at him like a child who has finally found his long lost father, was none other than DUM-E.

“DUM-E?”, he asked in a whisper.

DUM-E beeped loudly and happily, running over to Tony while its claw head like a kid. He stopped right in front of the mechanic, beeping away as if he was trying to talk. Tony touched him softly, making the machine beep even more, and then hugged him awkwardly. The mechanic had tears in his eyes. He looked up to see Steve on the door to their bedroom, a small smile on his face.

“How did you find him?” Tony asked, letting go of the robot. DUM-E, who was apparently already over the whole reunion thing and very curious about his new home, rolled away to the lamp nearby and started pressing the button, turning it on and off and on and off again nonstop, beeping excitedly.

“About that…”, Steve said, walking closer to Tony and taking his hands, kissing one softly, “I think I know who you are, Tony. And, if you let me, I think I can help you”.

Tony sniffed, glancing at DUM-E, all happy and clueless. “How did you find him?”, he repeated the question, looking at Steve once more.

“I bought him from Stane. And I don’t think it was just a coincidence. I think he called me to his new tower today for this exact purpose. I think he knows where you are and what you are to me, Tony”.

The mechanic whined as if in pain, hugging himself with both arms, stepping away from Steve.

“I need… I need to run. I need to go, I need…”

“Tony”, Steve said firmly, holding the smaller man by the shoulders, “If you want to run, I won’t stop you. We’ll run together. We’ll go to London, Paris, even freaking Siberia if that’s what it takes. But I need you to listen to me… You don’t have to run anymore, Tony, because I’ll protect you. I’ll fight whoever I need to, I promise you, and I’ll rip them apart if I have to. I will never let him hurt you again, Tony. I promise you”.

Tony was looking down. He took a deep breath and nodded, looking up to meet Steve’s eyes. “I trust you”, he whispered.

“Do you want to run? Or do you want to stay and fight them? It’s your choice, love”, Steve asked softly, cleaning away a tear with his thumb.

Tony took yet another breath and closed his eyes hard, before opening them with a determined look. “I want to stay and fight”.

Steve smiled. “First thing we’re going to do… We’re going to hire the best damn lawyer in this country and we’re going to take a look at your father’s will. Because I know your father was an asshole, Tony, but from what you’ve told me, and what I’ve heard from him, he was all about legacy and names. And I seriously doubt he’d leave everything to someone other than his son”.

“Rhodey said the same thing”, Tony replied, nodding, “But Stane has a legion of lawyers. It’s hard to go against rich people. Trust me, I know”.

“He’s not the only rich people around”, Steve joked, kissing his boyfriend’s forehead and pulling him to his chest, “You don’t have to be afraid anymore, Tony. You have an army now. We’re going to get you justice. We’re going to avenge you”.

Sir? Sir, are you there?

Tony opened his eyes and untangled himself from Steve. Both turned their eyes to DUM-E, who seemed confused.

Sir? Is that you? I recognize your voice pattern. Please, respond.

DUM-E started to turn around on himself, searching for the source of the voice, unaware that the voice was coming from his own sound box.

“Is DUM-E talking?” Steve asked, confused, but Tony was too stunned to pay any attention to him.

“JARVIS?” He asked carefully, taking a step closer to DUM-E.

Yes, sir. I must say, it is a pleasure to talk to you again ― DUM-E, for heaven’s sake, stop moving, I have told you a million times, it’s ME.

DUM-E stopped moving, but turned his claw, still confused.

“Jarvis? Who’s Jarvis?”

Tony turned back to Steve. “Remember the something I created, the thing my guardian… Obadiah wanted… It’s a missile”.

“The Jericho”, Steve supplied, and then explained upon seeing the perplexed look on Tony’s face, “He showed it to me, said it would be operational in a few weeks”.

That is a lie, sir. Mr. Stane has brought many capable men and women to try and get rid of me, but I assure you all of them were unsuccessful.

“Wait. Is JARVIS…”

“JARVIS is the one thing keeping Stane from accessing the Jericho. I’m the only person that can activate it, get it to work”, Tony confirmed, “and when all of that happened, I created JARVIS to protect it from him. The reason no one can crack the code is because he’s an AI. He is always rewriting himself”.

Indeed I am, sir.

“JARVIS, how did you do this? How can you be inside DUM-E’s program?”, Tony asked, curious and astonished with his creation.

I simply hacked him, as the young ones would say. Not only DUM-E, however. Sir, I control the tower. The elevators, the computers, every electronic inside. I have infiltrated their system and they are unaware of it.

Tony’s mouth fell open. “You’re in the tower? How the hell did you manage to do that? The Jericho wasn’t connected to any networks, that’s not possible”.

I had help, sir. And she recorded a message for you as well. A moment, if you please.

There was a minute of silence before a very familiar voice filled the room.

Tony? Is this… Do I just talk? DUM-E’s sound boxes were not exactly the best, so the voice sounded a bit off, but it was still unmistakable. Tony, it’s Pepper. I just helped your… AI… thingy get out. If you’re listening to this, than call me, you absolute prick! I miss you and I’m worried about you! Rhodey won’t tell me where you are, says he promised, that traitor! Please, just call me, alright? I’m his assistant now, I’m on the inside. I can help bring him down, Tony! Just, please, let me know you’re alright, ok?

“Oh my God. That’s Pepper!”

“Pepper?” Steve asked.

You know her as Miss Potts, Captain. Sir, I must tell you… Miss Potts and I have uncovered some very interesting documents on Mr. Stane’s computer.

“What kind of documents?” Steve inquired, stepping closer to Tony, who had just sat down on the couch, looking absolutely overwhelmed.

Documents that could prove Mr. Stane has been double dealing for years now. I cannot take the information from his computer, however. Said information must be manually transferred to a secure hard drive.

“Tony… Tony, I know a lot just happened all of a sudden”, Steve said, kneeling down in front of his boyfriend, “But this is good. Tony, we can fight him. We can get you your life back. What do you say, love?”

Tony stared at his hands for a long moment, looking deep in thought. Then, he raised his head, looking into Steve’s eyes before smiling, determined, a fire burning in his brown eyes.

“I say let’s get the son of a bitch”.

---

Leave a comment and/or ask to be tagged // Feed my caffeine addiction

If you liked it, reblog so other people can see it! :D

#stony #stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers #tony stark #avengers #billionaire steve #mechanic tony #the billionaire and the mechanic #fanfic #fic

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windsweptlassie · 6 years

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top 5 iconic discord quotes from the GC OR top five tender gay war poems u read this year (or both)

this is the best question ever. i can’t find all the iconic groupchat quotes but this one is good even if i was the one who said it:

as for top five tender gay war poems i got SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS so here goes. these poems fit all or some of the following criteria:

written by a gay person or someone of potentially non-straight sexuality

written by someone who experienced a war (mostly the first world war)

written about something gay

written about war

1. O Tan-Faced Prairie Boy by Walt Whitman. written by notable gay poet Walt Whitman, this short poem from his Civil War collection Drum-Taps is. notably gay. please read it and understand what I mean.

Song by Francis Fowler Hogan. not necessarily gay and not necessarily a war poem but it belongs in this collection because!

it is a love poem addressed to someone of completely indeterminate gender. gay rights! (i’m joking but you get the point)

frank died in the Argonne in 1918. therefore, soldier-poet.

as an honorary mention here is another one of his poems just because I like it:

he wrote that while at war in france. thanks frank you funky little soldier-poet-aspiring-theater-major-playwright-you

A Munition Worker by Sara Bennett. now I know you can’t go about assuming the sexuality of people from history especially if you only know them from their poems but PLEASE try to explain this poem as straight. you cannot.

(source for both Sara’s and Francis’ poems.)

4. the following sonnet, written by Charles Scott Moncrieff and dedicated to Wilfred Owen (source)

Last night into the night I saw thee goAnd turned away; and heavy of heart I clamberedUp the steep causeway; weary, late and slowBy my lone bed arrived. But, I enchambered,Out cried the sullen alert artillery;Shrill watchmen; woke the slumbering streets in riot.And I was sad for night’s swallowing thee,Then was I glad because thy night was quiet.But wer’t thou near, I should not be afraid,But, thou away, there is no harm to fear;Thou not endangered, I am undismayed,Yet must danger hide when thou art here.So I am double saved and safe shall stayThine arms bring close or all thyself away.

We know Wilfred Owen was gay, and everything we know about this poem and his encounters with Moncrieff seem to suggest that the two had a brief relationship that didn’t work out- hence this poem. (x)

5. Not a poem but this excerpt from a letter from Wilfred Owen to Siegfried Sassoon:

Know that since mid-September, when you still regarded me as a tiresome little knocker on your door, I held you as Keats + Christ + Elijah + my Colonel + my father-confessor + Amenophis IV in profile. What’s that mathematically? In effect it is this: that I love you, dispassionately, so much, so very much, dear Fellow, that the blasting little smile you wear on reading this can’t hurt me in the least. If you consider what the above Names have severally done for me, you will know what you are doing. And you have fixed my Life – however short. You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me. I spun round you a satellite for a month, but I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze. (source)

Again- Wilfred Owen seems to have been in love with Sassoon, also a gay man and a war poet, who said “"W[ilfred Owen]’s death was an unhealed wound, & the ache of it has been with me ever since. I wanted him back – not his poems.”

6. To A. by Firmin @a-french-guardsman - a modern poem, and one written by my friend, but nevertheless lovely, inspired by original WWI poetry, and gay.

7. It was a navy boy by Wilfred Owen (another link here)- I could have chosen some other Wilfred Owen poem, also, but this one is one of the most seemingly explicitly. Gay. It’s quite good!

8. I have to include Roundel (Vera Speaks) by Roland Leighton and the response poem, Roundel (”Died of Wounds”) by Vera Brittain. These aren’t gay, but they’re about love and death and the First World War, and they’re beautiful and painful because Vera’s poem is in response to Roland’s, written after his untimely death in the war.

9. For We Are Young (spoken piece) by Alastair @my-darling-boy- I had to include this too because it is wonderful.

There may be more. I am trying to think. But thank you for asking this! i got very excited

#answered #poetry #my ramblings #shut up queenie #girlwithouthands #wwi #war poetry

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etaedraws · 6 years

Text

Reunion

Semi-continuation to Bittersweet Promises, but can be read as standalone as well.

Meve and Reynard recieve a surprise-visit from Gascon; Spoilers for the ending of Thronebreaker

Her breath escaped the queen with a wheezing sound – a fine blow, and perfectly aimed as she had been distracted by the noise that had come up all too suddenly.

“I'm sorry, did I hurt you?“, Reynard had dropped his practise weapon, immediately rushing to her side with an expression of worry plastered all over his features. The queen coughed a few times, shaking her head. “No, no”, she replied, eventually straightening up as her lungs were filled with air again, “And how often do I have to tell you to stop apologizing to me? You know as well as I do that it takes a lot more than a stick to cause me more than a bruise or two. I let my guard down, it was my own fault”

Reynard had opened his mouth already to protest, but Meve's scolding look made him close it again. She knew he was simply being protective, as always, but she thought that he really didn't have to worry as much as he did.

“Anyway”, she continued with an exasperated sigh, staring in the general direction of the courtyard – where the source of the howling seemed to be that had startled her enough to mess up her cover and end their sparring match early.

“What's with that noise? Did some idiot let loose a rabbit in the kennels?”

“Would certainly sound like it-”

Reynard was about to continue when a page came stumbling into the training grounds, doing his best to catch his breath before addressing the queen.

“Your Majesty has visitors”, he proclaimed, “They're waiting at the gates and are apparently not aware of the official hours, as they say they won't leave until you talked to them”

Meve raised her brows at that uncourtly request.

“And did those 'guests' say who they are, exactly?”

“Ah, well”, the young man stuttered, “Their leader introduced himself as Duke of Dogs, you see ...”

A sound of annoyance escaped both Meve and Reynard. “Again?”, growled the latter. Ever since Gascon had vanished off the maps, at least one fool each week had tried to convince them that he was, in fact, Gascon Brossard, in order to claim the currently empty estate and lands.

“Does he have any proof?”, Meve replied.

“Uhm, ah ...”

“Come on, man, we don't have all day”

“Well, now, he said to tell you that, ah … I will quote this here … to 'tell Mevie her loyal dachshund has returned to bring her some gifts' … and then simply howled like some kind of madman”, the page looked at his queen for a single moment before averting his gaze to his feet, as if fearing a scolding for delivering such an impertinent message. Yet what he got in reply, was a hearty laugh.

“He really said that?”, Meve laughed and turned to Reynard with a grin, “My dear, I think we might've finally found the real Gascon”

After she told the page to let in the men waiting at the gates so she could meet them in the yard, Reynard stepped to her side with a puzzled frown.

“What makes you so sure that's really Gascon? Anyone could just go and imitate the Strays of Spalla's howl if he researched on the matter”

“Ah, I never told you, did I? When I asked him about his title, Gascon told me he was some kind of werewolf – half man, half dachshund”, Meve giggled at the thought. She hadn't found that joke very funny when he told it, but by now it was a dear memory.

“Considering the message he wanted to have delivered to you, it does indeed sound like Gascon ...”, Reynard shook his head and stayed silent until they arrived at the courtyard.

On the big paved place, a group of about fifteen men waited for them, as well as two pointer dogs that sat by one of them, apparently the leader of the lot. His clothes were greens and browns, a hood pulled deep into his face and a black and white feather bouncing on his cap whenever he moved. The page announced Meve and Reynard, and the figure turned to reveal a very characteristic, wide grin on his face.

“Now here she is, my favourite queen in the north and her lucky husband!”, he called out with a laugh and stepped towards them, only for two guards to step in and block his path.

“Ahh, should've suspected that. Would you call them off, maybe? It's hard to see the two of you with pikes pointed at my face”

Meve laughed slightly at the sight and ordered the guards to get back in line – just to have Gascon leap at the chance and pull her into a hug. His manners hadn't improved a bit. Probably worsened even, considering this near-assault. The guards watched the scene anxiously, as if fearing the mercenary would stab their queen. Only the fact that Reynard remained calm and simply rolled his eyes at Gascon's behaviour made them stay in line.

“I missed you too, dachshund”, Meve grinned as he pulled away again and seemed to ponder on whether to hug or not hug Reynard as well.

“Don't you dare”, he whispered, so Gascon made do with clapping the other man's arm with a grin. Reynard's sigh and head-shaking was betrayed by the hint of a smile that tugged at his lips.

“So you finally decided to follow my offer then?”, Meve picked up on the question that she had wanted to ask the second she saw him.

“Why of course, otherwise I wouldn't have shown up with fanfares and banners”, he replied, “Or, howls and a gift, more like. Wanted to deliver you something you've apparently been looking for for a while now and we happened to stumble upon on our endeavors”

Gascon waved at one of his men and they pulled someone out of their middle Meve hadn't noticed before – bound in ropes and chains and with a burlap sack over his head. Removing the piece of cloth, a head with shaggy hair appeared, unshaven and bound with a gag so he wouldn't spew insults at his captors.

“Heard there's quite a bounty on this fella's head. Thought it would be a good one to make our debut as your secret bloodhounds”, he grinned.

Meve looked at Gascon in surprise, then turned her attention to the captive. The leader of a band of brigands who had taken to terrorize the land and it's inhabitants in the past year or so. Their attacks had become more and more vicious with every passing month, so the queen had called out money on his head to get rid off him. So far, no one had been able to seize him or his men, and Meve had worried she'd have to ride out herself to remove him – and now here he was, shackled and at her mercy. A small, satisfied smile appeared on the queen's face. “Well done, Count Brossard”, she said and then gestured at the captured brigand, “Now get this man to the dungeon, I'll deal with him later. For now, our dear guests deserve their pay and food for their endeavors in capturing that scoundrel while I talk to their leader”

“Is it just me or do Gascon's men look familiar?”, Meve asked, her gaze wandering over the palace guests that did their best to appear like they knew how to act polite in front of their queen. Which mostly showed in them putting tremendous effort in attempting to not wolf down the feast on the table in a matter of minutes.

“Of course they look familiar”, Gascon interjected from her other side, having overheard the conversation, “Because they fought with us side by side in the war. My best men. Though, sadly not all of them as you can see”

“What happened to the others?”, Reynard wanted to know.

“Dead or rotting in one of Lyria's or Rivia's dungeons. Great fighters and trackers and all that they are, but as you can see not all of them turned honorable after the fighting ended – good soldiers, but no good men”

“And yet, you mourn them”, Meve remarked. She had noticed the small change in Gascon's expression – his usual grin vanishing for a few seconds, and even though he caught himself quickly, the smile didn't reach his eyes anymore now.

“Sure do. Were kind of like my family for years, after all, no matter how awful humans they were ...”

It was a rare sight to have the former Duke of Dogs go silent like this and Meve reached out to put a hand on his in reassurance.

“I know you don't like to talk about that, so I won't pry. But know that we're glad you finally decided to accept us as family, too – we did so long ago”

Gascon turned his gaze to Meve and her husband, and even the stoic Count Odo had a small smile on his face, affirming the queen's words.

“... oh shut up you two”, Gascon eventually blurted, “Or you're going to make me cry – and nobody wants to see that”

Meve laughed silently and pat Gascon on the back, before turning her attention to other matters again.

“But do tell me, how did you get them to accept my proposal? Considering how freedom-loving the lot of you are, no matter how long you fought by my side”, she wanted to know.

“Ah, wasn't even that difficult to be frank”, Gascon replied with a shrug and a grin, “Your conditions were more than acceptable. You said it yourself, we're still our own masters, after all. Simply reporting back to you and getting pointed in the general direction of some troublemakers to keep an eye out for – plus making a decent amount of coin more that way. Also, the prospect of not immediately hanging even if we end up doing something illegal during our 'investigations' is a pretty nice bonus”, he laughed, “It's nice to see that you think we're the right kind of lot for the job, too – not many rulers would trust former brigands to act as their spymasters after all. Nice push for the ego”

“I'm glad to hear”, Meve smiled and let her gaze wander through the hall. Truly, Gascon's men were rough and obviously not suited to serve at court, but they were nimble and clever, and most importantly had unwavering faith in their leader.

She was glad Reynard had one day pointed out a use for a group like that – while their soldiers were good use on a battlefield and in other matters of safety, some campaigns simply needed a certain secrecy they weren't trained at.

With the former Strays however, they now had a band of specialists at hand that should be able to take care of that as well.

#thronebreaker #the witcher tales #the witcher #fanfic #queen meve #reynard odo #gascon #gascon brossard #fanfiction #writing #etaedraws #etaewrites

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mexhunter976 · 3 years

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Dwight's Second Life

Dwight Second Life

Dwight's Name In Second Life

Dwight Schrute Second Life Quote

Dwight's Second Life Episode

Everyone's favorite workplace comedy, The Office, is now on Peacock! Watch the mockumentary sitcom about the everyday lives of the workers at Dunder Mifflin, a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Second Life is an online virtual world, developed and owned by the San Francisco-based firm Linden Lab and launched on June 23, 2003. It saw rapid growth for some years and in 2013 it had approximately one million regular users; growth stabilized and by the end of 2017 active user count had declined to 'between 800,000 and 900,000'. In many ways, Second Life is similar to massively multiplayer. Describes Second Life,1 an online virtual community.2 Dwight explains that he “signed up for Second Life about a year ago” because “back then, his life was so great he literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything in Dwight’s Second Life was the same. Except in Second Life, Dwight could fly.”3. Dwight also acts as the Lancer for Gail in her leadership of the Old Town girls. Gail's more vengeful and murderous than Dwight's strategic approach, but Gail's unquestionably in charge and Dwight doesn't forget it for a moment. Woody plays this role against his friend Eric in Quantum and Woody. In Runaways Nico was originally this to Alex. Second Life is always wonderful, sometimes weird, and 100% wow-worthy. Explore Now Remote Meetings Redefined Make meetings fun again with virtual hangout spaces, classes and conferences. For over a decade, leading companies and educators have trusted Second Life for branded social spaces for events and remote meetings.

Second Life is not a game: it is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn't have points, or scores, or winners, or losers.

'Oh, it has losers,' our somewhat geeky hero Jim states, watching his co-worker and erstwhile beet farmer Dwight play Second Life. The Office has also prominently featured Call of Duty in a past episode, so having the sitcom wander into the world of gaming isn't a big surprise. While the appearance of Second Life may seem random in last night's episode, if you think about it, the story is pretty sad.

Dwight just lost his girlfriend after mercy-killing her cat Sprinkles, and now has to watch one of his co-workers put the moves on her. When this all gets too much to handle, he retreats into Second Life, where his name is Dwight Shelford, his job is selling paper, but he can fly. It's like role-playing yourself with one notable super-power.

It's a game reference that's in-character, makes sense, and is also strangely bitter-sweet. This is yet more evidence that Second Life is the lamest game with the absolute best PR team.

Frank's Thoughts

As though I didn't love The Office enough as it is, the nods to the gaming world are much appreciated. I'm glad to see the show tackle games that aren't necessarily the 'obvious' choices: god forbid World of Warcraft makes an appearance. I will say this, though: not having hour-long episodes every week makes me sadface.

By/July 8, 2019 5:43 pm EDT

The Office may have shut its doors in 2013, but Rainn Wilson's hilarious portrayal of Assistant (to the) Regional Manager Dwight K. Schrute remains a part of the pop culture consciousness. After all, Dwight is a hard-hearted geek, a wannabe martial artist, a neo-fascist salesman, and an absolute lapdog to Regional Manager Michael Scott, and Wilson's performance created one of the most well-loved misanthropes in TV history.

Initially based on Gareth Keenan (Mackenzie Crook) of the original UK version of The Office, Schrute went on to become his own unique freak. He's the kind of guy who distrusts everyone but Michael, yet he's willing to believe faxes from Jim Halpert claiming to be Dwight from the future. He's loud, intense, and a hilarious collection of complex contradictions that combined to make one of television's most memorable dunces. However, even though Dunder Mifflin might have closed down a while ago, there's still a lot you might not know about the owner of Schrute Farms. From who almost played the character to the ways art wound up imitating life, here's the untold truth of Dwight Schrute.

Dwight Schrute could've been Seth Rogen

Dwight Schrute and Rainn Wilson seem as inseparable as beets, bears, and Battlestar Galactica. As difficult as it is to imagine anyone other than Wilson playing Dunder Mifflin Scranton's fire safety chief, it's utterly impossible to contemplate what would've happened if one famous comedian who auditioned for the role had actually gotten it.

In 2013, the final season of The Office was released on DVD, and included in the extras is a short video revealing some of the actors who auditioned for the series. Among other noteworthy surprises, Bob Odenkirk of Better Call Saul fame auditioned for the role of Michael Scott, Kathryn Han tried out for Pam, both John Cho and Adam Scott took a crack at Jim Halpert. But perhaps most surprising of all is that Seth Rogen tried his best to land the part of Dwight Schrute.

We don't see much of Rogen in the clip. He talks about the benefits of cleaning someone's wounds with urine, and then the video moves on to Odenkirk doing Michael Scott. But what we do see of Rogen makes it clear he wouldn't have been within a galaxy of the same character Wilson gave us. Reading the same line, Dwight would be obnoxious and condescending, speaking as if he were delivering the lesson to a child. Rogen seems absolutely likable, not very bright, and not at all Schrutish — kind of like Kevin the accountant if he knew a few more factoids and was awake for more of the day.

Rainn Wilson wanted to be the regional manager

Throughout the course of The Office, Dwight Schrute both worships Michael Scott and has ambitions for his office. And in one of the many ways in which life imitates art, Rainn Wilson didn't initially audition for the role of assistant (to the) regional manager. He wanted to be the big dog himself.

Much like Bob Odenkirk, Wilson went into his audition taking aim at the role of everybody's favorite regional manager, Michael Scott. Alas, it wasn't to be, possibly because, as Wilson puts it, his audition amounted to a 'terrible (Ricky) Gervais impersonation.'

Considering how amazing Wilson is as Schrute, as well as Steve Carell's success as the equally clueless Michael Scott, it's probably for the best. It might be interesting to take a peek in the alternate reality where Wilson got cast as Michael Scott, but it's not interesting enough to stay there. Although, we'd definitely love to hear that Gervais impression.

Both Dwight Schrute and Rainn Wilson have the strength of a little baby

When Michael Scott calls his employees into the conference room for an impromptu group therapy session in season three's 'Grief Counseling,' Dwight Schrute tells one of the most insane stories to ever come out of his face. While most of the office is tight-lipped, Dwight volunteers a grotesque tale about his birth. He claims he shared his mother's uterus with a twin, but that he 'resorbed' his counterpart, effectively killing it. Schrute says he doesn't regret the in utero murder because it gifted him with the superhuman 'strength of a grown man and a little baby.'

It doesn't seem coincidental then, that Rainn Wilson takes the first five paragraphs of his 2016 memoir The Bassoon King to describe the 'doughy giganticness' of his head at birth. The first line of the book reads, 'I had the biggest, fattest head of any baby that was ever born into the human species.' He describes his infant dome as a 'white, bloated, Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade head,' says he looked like 'Louie Anderson with the head of E.T.,' and describes his younger self as a 'Jabba the Hutt-like infant that sounds like a calf being strangled by an octopus.'

It doesn't seem like a huge leap to imagine Wilson has a few issues with his family's baby photos, and that those issues were possibly reflected in his character's story about 'resorbing' his twin like a tiny cannibal.

Dwight Schrute almost took us to The Farm

In January 2012, Deadlinereported NBC was considering an Office spin-off with Rainn Wilson starring as Dwight Schrute. The Farm would've been a family comedy in a setting Office fans had grown familiar with over the years: Schrute Farms. Among others, the series would have featured Matt Jones (a.k.a. Badger from Breaking Bad) as Dwight's cousin Zeke, veteran character actor Tom Bower as Dwight's Nazi Uncle Heinrich, Thomas Middleditch of Silicon Valley fame as Dwight's Bigfoot-hunting brother Jeb, and Venezuelan-born Majandra Delfino as Dwight's sister Fannie. Of course, Michael Schur would reprise his role as Dwight's creepy, neck-bearded cousin Mose.

For better or worse, The Farm wasn't meant to be. In October 2012, Wilson tweeted the news that NBC had passed on the series, although he'd 'had a blast making the pilot.' The pilot for The Farm was then recut as a single Office episode in the show's final season. But would that story have worked as a full-fledged series? It's hard to say, but Vulture writer Matt Schimkowitz notes that Dwight's popularity came mainly from him acting as an antagonist to Jim Halpert. Making him the lead in a comedy series about a disjointed family that he's expected to bring together changes Dwight's role dramatically to 'the likable hero we've never seen.' In other words, maybe it's best that we never visited The Farm.

Dwight Second Life

Schrute Farms is real.. sort of

When Dwight lures Ryan to his farm in season three's 'The Initiation,' it's little more than a beet farm where teens like to hook up. But by the time Jim and Pam visit in season four's 'Money,' Schrute Farms has been transformed into a bed and breakfast. In spite of a slight overabundance of manure-related activities, Pam and Jim leave a glowing review for Schrute Farms on TripAdvisor. We're led to believe this is mostly because the couple feels sorry for Dwight after being subjected to the loud, sorrowful moans he falls asleep making every night since his split with Angela.

If you're an Office fan this is all old news to you. But what you may not know is that while The Office is over and The Farm never got to materialize, TripAdvisor has made Schrute Farms a reality. Sort of.

That's right. TripAdvisor maintains a page for Schrute Farms, listed as a bed and breakfast in Honesdale, PA. Apparently, you can actually book a stay there, though, we have no idea where you go if you bother doing that. The farm currently has over 1100 reviews giving it a rating of 4.0 or 'very good.' Some of the more recent reviews include 'visitors' calling the farm's beets 'Elvis in plant form,' praising Dwight's power drink 'made from beet runoff,' and happily proclaiming, 'I couldn't have been more satisfied (that's what she said) with my stay.'

Schrute Space

From his obsession with having a second Second Life to his epic sales struggle with a (supposedly) self-aware A.I., Dwight is well-known for some of his online shenanigans. What you might not know is that Rainn Wilson used to maintain a blog in Dwight's voice. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist anymore, but NBC used to host Schrute Space, which let fans read Dwight's thoughts on different Scranton radio stations or his invaluable martial arts tips. While NBC eventually opened the blog up to the masses, it started as something that existed exclusively on the set of The Office.

The computers on The Office https://mexhunter976.tumblr.com/post/658079246720368640/go-to-spotify. 's set were networked together, and Wilson would write the Dwight-voiced blog while scenes were being the filmed so the rest of the cast could enjoy it. Wilson told The Morning Callthat during the filming of the pilot episode, 'The producers saw (the blog) when they walked by and thought it was funny.' A few emails later between NBC and Wilson, and Schrute Space was born. Now, if only NBC would bring it back, the world would be a better place.

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Dwight Schrute was almost assistant to the president

Over a decade ago, Senator John McCain — then the Republican candidate for the United States presidency — appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. When asked if he'd picked a running mate, McCain apparently didn't remember the character's name, but the senator joked his vice presidential pick would be 'that guy from The Office.' Host Jon Stewart clarified for viewers, 'You heard it here first, Dwight Schrute.'

About a week later, Dwight Schrute responded. Appearing as a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Rainn Wilson read from a list addressed to McCain. Schrute agreed to be McCain's running mate, but only if his demands were met. The demands included a flamethrower, an Iron Man suit, government research into beets as an alternate fuel source, and the right to use Air Force One whenever he wanted (with the added note that, while he piloted Air Force One, he was only to be referred to as 'Iceman').

Dwight's Name In Second Life

Obviously, it was all just a joke, so we never got to see Dwight retool Mussolini speeches for press conferences at the White House Rose Garden. It's regretful not only because of the lost comedic potential, but considering who McCain ultimately chose as a genuine running mate, it isn't like Dwight could've done any worse.

The Bassoon King

In 2016, Rainn Wilson's memoir The Bassoon King: Art, Idiocy, and Other Assorted Tales from the Band Room was released, and like many nonfiction books, a different author was invited to write the foreword. Namely, the foreword is credited to 'Dwight Kurt Schrute,' and it's written entirely in Dwight's disdainful voice.

Schrute spends the first bit of the foreword discussing why he's agreed to write it, which he clearly doesn't want to do. He explains, 'When someone asks me to do a task, the first thing I do is determine whether the request is some sort of trick.' The job of writing the foreword survives his exacting vetting process only because Dwight can't 'adequately determine if this request is a trick.' He tells us he doesn't like The Bassoon King or any books that involve 'funny stories' regarding some stupid actor,' but he then proceeds to list a long number of exceptions (books by Charles Bronson, any Game of Thrones cast member, Sam Neill, Dolph Lundgren, etc). Dwight calls Rainn Wilson a 'laughable idiot,' and eventually reveals he has only agreed to write the foreword for the money.

Before turning things over to Wilson, Dwight gives us some other book ideas like Mennonite Ghost Stories, a 'fun games for kids' book titled Hold This Book over a Candle, and the revealing Conspiracy Theories: Who's Really Behind Them? Seriously, we'll take a whole book written by Dwight, please.

Dwight Schrute and the next generation

Even though he's gone, he's not forgotten, and the legend of Dwight K. Schrute lives on. On Halloween 2016 — a little over three years after The Office's finale aired on NBC — Jenna Fischer tweeted a photo sent to her by a fan of a pint-sized version of Dwight Schrute.

Dwight Schrute Second Life Quote

With a disapproving scowl and Schrute's signature hairstyle, Toddler Dwight wears a yellow short-sleeved dress shirt, a sticker announcing 'Hello, My Name Is Dwight Schrute,' and holds what is presumably a carefully grown Schrute Farm beet. Behind him, a blackboard leans against the wall and spells out one of Dwight's early and memorable lines: 'How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jack hammer, merciless, insatiable.' Of course, if the young Dwight happened to put the words up himself, then his age and comparative lack of schooling gives him more excuses than the original Dwight for not knowing the difference between three words and eight.

Dwight's Second Life Episode

Even though it's one of the most popular shows on Netflix's streaming service, The Office will sadly leave Netflix in 2021. Still, it seems inevitable that younger fans will come to know the joy that is The Office, including the nuggets of Dwight Schrute's invaluable wisdom like, 'When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.' Expect more unsmiling alpha males to become fans of the beloved beet farmer for years to come.

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myheartislookingforyoualways · 4 years

Text

03.10.2021

Dear G,

I love you. I miss you. I want us back. I want you. I am sorry for all the pain I’ve put you through when you just wanted to love me as I would love you. Those are the words that I would say if I could only just speak to you. Talk to you. Hear you. Hear your beautiful voice with you smooth soft accent. Here the anticipation in your breath as we exchange our little love sounds and words. Hear the confirmation as you respond to me with our usual ways of telling each other we love each other. I just want that so bad and but I just know that no matter what I would say right now could not take away the pain you’re feeling at the situation I’ve put us both in. I am just wishing that I could talk to you. Period. I know I can’t and I won’t as I promised you that I wouldn’t until I was one month sober. I am going to keep that promise to you and to me and to us. It is just so increasingly painful as my mind starts to clear more and more with each passing day and the haze of my active addiction starts to wear off i start to see the situation more and more clearly. My heart aches more and more and starts to break into smaller and smaller pieces from remembering what i put you through and us through in the last days of you being here, even right up the end offering concessions to my sick and impaired mind. I cannot even imagine what i will have gone through by the time my month long sobriety in terms of clarity and perspective when thinking about how it all ended that day you got out of my car just. The last day I saw you. It got worse and worse this feeling. Everyday just more and more sadness, regret, anger, frustration, desperation, longing, aching, pain. I remember not being able to wake the day you left on your plane. I couldn’t even deal with the reality of that. Then I saw your VSCO post on the airplane. I screamed at myself. I was so angry at myself. Then I just stopped and cried. I was in complete shock anger and disgust that you were actually gone and I had done this to us.

I saw your VSCO posts a few days ago after the Godspeed one, Reflektor - Arcade Fire, and What a Difference a Day Makes - Dinah Washington. We always communicate through music, we always did, and still are. I was wondering why you posted Godspeed in a hotel lobby. Then I checked your Tumblr and your posts were about missing me and crying for me and hoping that one day I can be happy with someone else and you can look back on me fondly as your first love. How you send me love wherever I am and whoever I may be with. Also your quote from the Frank Ocean Godspeed song. Maybe I’m looking into this too much. Probably not. Maybe I am. If I am it doesn’t really matter. I know you and you know me. You were my besh fren ad my partner, my lover for a year. G i don’t want to be with anyone and I’m not going to be with anyone. I just want to be with you again. I just want you again. I just want us again. Its ok my love, whatever happened or didn’t happen it doesn’t matter to me. None of it does. Whatever happened after I forced you to let go and leave us was because of the choices I made to force you to leave. I have no issues with whatever reality and whatever happened after that. This feels like that time after January when we didn’t talk but times a million. I have the same feelings but also times a million. I’ll never forget when you came into the place and i was in absolute agony. You looked so beautiful and I wanted to talk to you but I was paralyzed but my own self loathing and anger and sadness. Then you gave me the peace sign before you left after you gave everyone else hugs. I msged you on WhatsApp later that night. I wish it were simply that easy now or that straightforward but its not. There is so much to get through if I’m ever going to get back to you and us. But I’m not going to give up. I never will. I didn’t then and I won’t now. I love you and I always will. I will always chase you and I will always want you back. No matter what happens and no matter who you are with I will always love you and want you back G. There’s nothing else in the world that I want more than to be able to hold you again, kiss you again, be with you again. I just want to fall into you again and again and again. Forever and a day.

I finally had my intake assessment yesterday in the afternoon. I talked on the phone with the counsellor for over an hour. I went through alot of things in my life. I told her about you, about us, about how my addictions affected our relationship. About how it ended our relationship. I cried on the phone with her. Then I made plans for the next session. I told her of my own plans on how to day by day maintain my sobriety. The program is a 12 week program that has group addiction therapy, traditional group therapy as well as individual counselling. I am ready. I am open to everything. I want to be better. I want to be healthy. I want me back. After I hung up the phone with her even though I said I wouldn’t I looked at pictures of us ; both on my snap and in my hidden album on my phone. I cried again and I started to feel really desperate and hopeless. There is just this big gnawing hole inside me where you and everything you were to me everyday used to be. If I just sit and stare or think of you in that headspace I start to feel really desperate. Physically I feel anxious nowadays when I get like that. I scream and moan your name and cry bb. I writhe and twist. Then i self talked again and I pulled myself out of it. Got on with my day. I realize that no matter what, this isn’t going to bring you back. I have to focus on me and getting myself better first. This is only going to lead me back to relapse and further away from the hopes and the possibility of ever being back with you. No matter what, no matter what happens, I will always love you and no matter what, I am going to take what happened and keep these feelings close to me so I never lose sight of what I have to do and what I have to work on - me.

Throughout the day I kept on thinking of little things, little memories that we had together. I always smile at the thought of them. There are so many stories. We always used to remember them together. Even now I am smiling at the thought of them. How we met at work. You in you braids. Me trying to play it cool. Secretly I told our management that I think you would be a great addition. Hoping that you would get hired. I was so excited when you were and I would always check the schedule to see when we worked together next. All of our times working together and we would always have our own little jokes together. How you would always hug me after work. I would look forward to those hugs and smelling you. Then you caught feelings and stopped hugging me. I caught feelings before you though. How I used to always walk you back home no matter what. I always made sure to walk you back home. I looked forward to our little walks. I never kissed you. You probably were wondering if I would try to. Well I know you were wondering because we talked about this many times.

I’ll never forget any of our little stories ever G.

I love you with all my heart.

Always will.

I’m going to find me like I said I would.

Then I’m going to come find you and us.

My heart will always be looking for you G

...

Just got back home from Ubering. It’s been a tough day G. I’ve been thinking about you all day long from the moment that I woke up and I’ve been just trying to not go on your social media accounts all day long. I see you everywhere. I set a timer on the FitBit that you bought me for a half hour at a time and try to tell myself that I won’t think of you in the time. But it doesn’t really matter and it doesn’t really help. I see you everywhere. I see you in the streets. I drive the city ubering and I reference the city by the times that we’ve had there, by the experiences that we’ve shared. I remember all the things that we’ve done together all the times that we had together, all the feelings that we’ve had together. I had to come home because I didn’t keep up my promise to not check on your social media for the rest of the day until tomorrow morning. I went on your Tumblr and my heart just sank and fell through the floor of my car. I felt so helpless, dejected and completely just lower than I’ve ever felt before. I just stared at your last post and was in complete and utter desperation. I don’t know what you mean by you say you miss me but you already have other people in your life, Fuck your mind games. Go fuck other people and try to fill the void with meaningless people. I’m going to work on me and my loneliness like a normal person. I had to come home. I was having a anxiety attack. I couldn’t even drive. Ever since you have left I have been missing you more and more and more and more and more and now it completely unbearable. There is nobody in my life and I don’t want anybody in my life. After all this I still just want you and i love you so fucking desperately. I wish that you were still here. I wish that I made the choices that would have kept you here G and not pushed you away. I wish that so many things were different. I wish it all different. I wish so many things. Mostly I wish you were just still here with me on the couch and instead of typing into these keys “talking” to you I was just talking to you and holding you and squeezing you and able to love you. I am just so desperately missing you. There is nobody else I even want to look at ever again I just fucking want you back G so bad. I will never ever be with anyone ever again if it is not you. There hasn’t been anybody ever since you left. There is nobody in my life except for me and my pain and loneliness and anger for having lost you to my fucking addictions. I go to bed and I send you love and I wish on the moon that by some miracle, some hope that you will come back. I go to sleep and I dream of you. I wake up in the middle of the night and I cry because it was all just a dream, my mind is just causing me more pain. I get up and go to the washroom but I still wish, no matter how painful, that I can still dream of you as long as possible. There is nobody and there never will be anybody. I will always only ever want you G . I love you so much and I miss you so much. This is all I have to look forward to . During the day in place of actually talking to you I sent “you” tweets that is supposed to fill the place of talking to you. You were my best friend for a year and I miss you so fucking much it hurts. I don’t want to fuck anyone. Ever. I just want you. I want you or nobody else. Always. I don’t even want to masturbate or anything. I don’t even have any desire to look at any porn. I just ache in pain for you. In the very beginning i would look at our videos that we made together but now its just too painful. I feel so alone in this pain. I feel so alone in this world without you. I fucking love you so much G and I want you back. I always will and I will never ever want anybody else ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever Ever. Ever. Ever.

I’m so desperate writing this letter to you. I went thru your Tumblr and you removed every single semi-nice, or sentimental post you ever made to me. I know that you know that I am reading your Tumblr and I know that you know that I deeply am affected by all your posts. I’ve saved them and I cherish them, or I think about them, or I feel bad about them, or sorry about them, but they were all there and today you took them away. I saved them. But that hurt so much. Yes I understand I deserve whatever anger, rage, or even hate that you have for me but i just cannot and will not ever be able to stop loving you or wanting you or chasing you. Even now when I’m basically just talking to myself I have some sort of idea that you will somehow someday read this.

I just want to talk to you. I just miss your voice. I saved all your texts on your Tumblr. The ones you deleted. Any shred any scrap of you that I can possibly save - good or bad - I cannot let go of.

Yesterday :

Some days I’m so incredibly mad And others I just cry because I miss you I want to be normal I want to stop my feelings so badly

G I know that you’re incredibly mad, I know you are I can feel it even when you’re this far away. I miss you so much and I am so mad too. I am mad at me I am so mad that I ruined us I just want you back so bad I want you back I want to spend the rest of my life making it better making it up to you.

Also Yesterday:

What’s really bothering me these days is how you last said “I honestly never ever thought that you would leave” Wtf how weak and stupid I must have looked. I feel so stupid to have been subjected to such treatment when all I did was love you, that’s it. And I still feel guilty, still feel like I was not enough and now I’m so broken that it’s very hard to hold the pieces some days. I’m never opening my heart anymore to anyone

I was so fucked up and deep in my active addiction. It’s not that I didn’t think you would leave. I just in my fucked up brain thought somehow that I could keep you and my addiction at the same time a that time. I just have so much anger too. Anger at myself anger at all the times I could have made the choice to stop to just stop and give all my energy I put into feeding my addiction into us instead. I wish you were still here right now calling me into bed. I wish I had of just stopped. You were always more than enough. You always will be.

Another post:

hay que encender la luz de otras personas you have to turn on the light of other people

You did. We lit each other up. I am cold and blind now without that light. I miss you so fucking much.

Another one:

Why couldn’t you choose me

I wish I did when I actually had a choice. Now I have no choice and just pain and self hate and sadness over what I did to us.

Another one deleted:

“Si te quiere bien; nunca te hará preguntarte si eres suficiente, siempre te hará creer que eres demasiado.” "If he loves you well; It will never make you wonder if you are enough, it will always make you believe that you are too much. "

I’m sorry that I didn’t love you well. I’m sorry that I didn’t love the way that you deserved to be loved. You always were and always be too much. I will always love you and I will always hope to love you the right way. The way that I should have from the beginning.

Another one from a different post:

Lo que me da paz es que vemos la misma luna todas las noches. Siempre le cuento de ti y de lo que fuimos, Quisiera poder tomar su lugar Solo para poder verte una vez más…. What gives me peace is that we see the same moon every night. I always tell him about you and what we were, I wish I could take her place Just so I can see you one more time….

This is the post that led me to make my poem on VSCO about sharing the hope and the promise with the moon that I would be able to somehow get back to us and get back to you. I loved this one and I cherished it. I have read it over and over again.

Another:

Otra noche para llorar Another night to cry

I cried when I read this, I cried for you, I cried for me, I cried for us, I cried that we were seperated when we never were before.

Another:

Solo quiero ser feliz, porque no puedo ser feliz I just want to be happy, because I can't be happy

I want you to be happy to, I really do. At one point in time i was a part of that happiness, I was taking that for granted and I never will again. I am so sorry G.

Another:

Te extraño tanto, siento que no puedo respirar pero me dejaste sin nada. Ya no se quien soy y solo quisiera poder hablarte y abrazarte

I miss you so much, I feel like I can't breathe but you left me with nothing. I no longer know who I am and I just wish I could talk to you and hug you

I miss you so fucking much too G. I didn’t know it at the time but I have nothing either. There is a massive hole in my entire being that i just feel gets bigger and bigger every day. I wish more than anything that I could talk to you as well and hug you too. I wish that almost every moment of every day since you left.

Another one deleted:

Ese momento en que te dije que había nacido con un corazón roto y tú me dijiste que lo sostendrías para siempre. Ese momento fue mi perdición porque ahora estoy aquí mas rota que antes.

Fue mi error ser tan vulnerable

y aun así te extraño

Solo quisiera desaparecer

That moment when I told you that I was born with a broken heart and you told me that you would hold it forever. That moment was my downfall because now I am here more broken than before.

It was my mistake to be so vulnerable

and still I miss you

I just want to disappear

That is one of the most favorite moments of us being together that i will never forget ever until the day that i die. You were not mistaken to be vulnerable. Everything that i said to you I meant but it was my addiction that started to take away from us. I still do want to hold you and your broken heart together forever if you would ever let me do it again.

Another:

Le di amor hasta con el corazón roto…

I gave him love even with a broken heart ...

I still want your love, desperately more than anything please

This right here just tears me apart:

Poem #1 - untitled by me

Y pienso en ti,

Pienso en tu sonrisa

Pienso en como me hacías sentir,

Pienso en tus caricias

Pienso en los lunares de tu espalda

Pienso en el susurro de tu voz cuando me decías “te amo” Antes de irnos a dormir

Y lloro,

Lloro por todos los “hubieras”

Lloro porque no puedo abrazarte

Lloro porque no puedo tocarte

Lloro porque solo quisiera hablarte

Y después pienso

En como me rompiste el corazón

Poem # 1 - untitled by me

And I think of you

I think of your smile

I think about how you made me feel

I think of your caresses

I think of the moles on your back

I think of the whisper of your voice when you told me "I love you" Before we go to sleep

And I cry

I cry for all the "would haves"

I cry because I can't hold you

I cry because I can't touch you

I cry because I just want to talk to you

And then I think

How you broke my heart

This just tears me apart because I remember those intimate moments that we had and I want them back more than anything

I didn’t copy these ones but I did screenshot:

Post #1:

I wish I could write better, so I could put all my pain into words. And make them beautiful.

Post #2:

home is whenever I’m with you

Post #3:

I want to let go so badly

Why is it so hard

Post #4:

I’m so scared that one day you will find someone else, and I’ll be stuck forever with this feeling missing you

Post #5

I journal so much its crazy, se siente como si de alguna forma tu lo leyeras

Post #6:

Post #7:

Nothing like a broken heart to motivate you to go to the gym and be the hottest version of yourself lol

Post #8:

I hope I dream with kissing you tonight

Post #9:

I send you love, wherever you are and whomever you may be with

Post #10:

Days like today is when I miss your voice.

I miss talking to you.

I just miss you that’s it.

I want the day to come when I can think of you and I no longer cry the day that you may be happy with someone else and that I can think of you fondly as my first love.

Post #11:

I let go of my claim on you

You look down on where you came from sometimes

But you’ll have this place to call home , always...

#Godspeed

There are also a bunch of posts of IG posts that you took down that were indirectly meant for me. Also you removed a whole bunch of things on your VSCO that were related to me. You removed the music references to your last VSCO posts. These are all things that I absolutely hung on to ever since you left and I cherished them, no matter what they were you were speaking to me and I hung on to every one.

I don’t know what I’m doing here G. I just fucking miss you so much. I am going to be alone here in this feeling to just feel this. I don’t want to feel anything else except for this. I love you so much. I am sorry for your anger. There is nobody else on this existence than I want except for you.

I’m sorry I went even bolder with my Spotify and my VSCO. I just miss you so much and I wish I could just reach out to you. I promise I that I will back down and let you just do you from now on. I’ll let you do. I also am going to stick to my plan of not going on your socials, including Spotify now, only once a day from now on. I just know that given this its going to lead to a relapse so I need to really stick to that.

I have nothing else that I want except for you. There are clothes in the place that I didn’t give to you accidentally. I’ve gathered them up and smelled them. Your panties don’t smell. I wish they did. I did find your headband tho that I thought always looked cute on you and it still does smell like you. I wish your amor amor fragrance was here.

I fucking miss you G

I fucking love you G

I want you back

I don’t know what the possibility is

But I cannot and I will never give up

You are the only person I ever want and will only ever want

There is nobody but you even now when you are gone.

I love you

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