#also I realized I forgot his gloves right at the end and almost cried Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[capricioussun]

Went a little bit insane and made a doll for art fight <3

Theseus - @eaudecrow

[stardancerluv]

Punishments

Part 3

Summary: Reader finds out something very interesting about Roman. And he realizes something about having Reader in his life.

Note: very angsty but ends well. Very early in their relationship. Takes please amongst the chapters of Creative Fervor. Oral!Female receiving, fingering. Also I include this under Punishments because Roman get angry at reader.

Left to your own devices in the room Bruce gave you to work in and the hours flew by. Pausing to stretch you realized how late you had been working. Shit, you muttered to yourself. You were supposed to be there for Roman tonight.

You quickly packed up your stuff and quickly made your way to the foyer. Pulling your phone out, you looked down, you saw that Roman had called and you missed some messages. You felt horrible.

You stood there a moment, trying to text Roman or Victor so someone could come and get you. No one answered.

“Is there a problem Miss L/N?” Asked the ever sweet and patient Alfred.

“I’m fine.” You squeaked.

“Miss L/N, Master Wayne would say the same thing with grass stains and scraped knees, I know other wise.” He gave you a warm smile.

You giggled and shook your head. “I bet.” You smiled. “I was trying to get a hold of Romy, I mean Roman to send the driver over. He’s probably in a meeting.” You pressed your lips together.

His smile wavered but remained. “I can drive you back sweetheart.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. You can’t be taking a taxi this time of day. Give me but a moment.”

“Alfred, really?” He nodded. “Thank you.”

When he disappeared you tried again. But he still wasn’t answering. Your heart sank. Quickly, you slipped into the bathroom, that was nearby on this floor. Your heart sank further. You literally looked like you had been working all day. Your hands were caked with pencil and pastels dust. There were smudges here and there on your face.

You tried to clean up a bit but it only worked a bit. Sighing, you went back out to wait for Alfred.

“Y/N, I completely forgot you were here. I would have told you to head on home.”

You smiled up at Bruce. “It’s ok, its my fault. I completely got distracted.”

“One of those nights, I got tied up myself with a slew of phone calls”

“On your way to function tonight?” He looked incredibly sharp in his black suit. You knew from what you read about him time to time he liked to show up late and leave early.

He shook his head, “Tomorrow.”

“Ahh.” Looking past him, you saw Alfred pull up. “We can talk later and settle when it will be good for me to come back.”

“Yes, definitely.” You smiled. “There’s Alfred, you have a good night.” You added.

“Oh,” He smiled. “I’m coming with!” His tone was light. “I haven’t been to Roman’s in forever, I could use a drink and perhaps him and I could catch up. And of course, I have to apologize to him for keeping you so late.”

“You don’t have to, Roman knows I lose myself in my work.”

“Well, then just a drink could be nice.”

“Ok.” You tried to sound enthusiastic. You knew Roman was not particularly fond of him.

******

You walked into the main entrance to the Black Mask with Bruce.

“Bruce, I can’t possibly go any further in looking like this. I will be right back.” You said hurriedly and turned to so you make a dash for the elevator.

He grabbed your arm, you shared a look. “Y/N, you look fine.”

“I can’t possibly, and well, I want to.” You honestly didn’t know what else to say.

“If you insist.” He finally let go of your arm.

You relaxed in the elevator, Roman’s cologne hung in the air. It meant one of two things. Either he was just in it, or he needed more cologne the usual since had just gotten back from the docks handling something. He always felt the stench of being down there would cling to him. Or both. Oddly, just that first sniff and helped you to relax. Bruce was honestly now putting you on edge.

*****

You practically ran to the room you were getting used to sharing with Roman. He let you keep somethings there. Recently staying there was becoming more and more frequent.

Finally with Roman’s fine soaps you cleaned up nicely. Sometimes, it was the little things but finding your brush next to Roman’s comb made you smile after your long day. You ran it through your hair a few times, before going to the closet where you gasped.

Baby,

Huge meeting tonight. Find me.

Bought this for you while I picked up my brand new cufflinks.

You’re beautiful.

R

Damn, he really could be sweet and do the most unexpected things sometimes. You unpinned the note then slipping it on and a pair of heels, you went downstairs to search for Roman.

******

He brushed his sleeve aside. You were still not there. He shifted in his seat, I’ll he flapped his suit jacket, his anger was making him hot.

Gesturing, he motioned for Zsaz, he would not wait any longer. He would make him go and get you from Wayne manor. He checked his phone. Finally, there was a message from you, it pulled relief from him.

“Boss?” Zsaz whispered.

As he was about to read it when he heard the murmurs of the people in his club. He looked up and swallowed down the anger that almost erupted from him like a volcano when he watched as Bruce Wayne walk in.

“What is he fucking doing...” His voice trailed off when he saw you. Then he watched as Bruce grabbed you. He watched as unease blossomed on your paint smudged face. “Get the girl to grab me another fucking drink.”

“Boss?”

He looked up at Zsasz.

“Fine, its just..never mind. Should I have her grab one for Y/N too?”

He swallowed. “Yes.”

This was the most he had to drink in well, a while. He did not like how out of control it usually made him feel. Usually a drink was enough to take the edge of his anger. Not tonight, not with you at Wayne Manor. He thought he could handle it.

But everything came flooding back. Is that what caring about someone did, well now he was angrier then he had been in a while. He could still see the unease that had sashed across your face as you looked up at Bruce, he wondered why.

“Roman, my dear friend.”

He gritted his teeth, slid from his seat and turned to the voice. A huge smile was splashed across his face. “Bruce, it has been too long.” The two man shook their hands. “Please have a seat.”

******

Once the elevator opened, you kept your eyes peeled. Where could Roman be. Your heart lifted when you spotted him.

You let yourself swish over to him. You were eager to show him pretty you were in the dress. He had chosen such a lovely dress.

Bruce saw you first and slid from the booth, and Roman slid shortly after. Both gave you smiles.

“Baby.” Roman said softly, and moved so he gave you an ever so brief embrace and something that could barely be considered a peck on the cheek. You had seen him give guests firmer kisses.

Before pulling away you could smell the strong scent of martinis. That was so unlike him. Worry grew in your stomach.

“Look at you. You cleaned up so nicely.” Bruce remarked as you slid into the booth beside Roman.

“Thank you.” Under the table you reached for one of Roman’s gloved hands. You wanted to grab it, give it a squeeze; simply you wanted to feel close to Roman. What he did, hurt deeply. He put your hand on your thigh and moved his hand away.

You tried to swallow down the painful lump that formed in your throat.

“Y/N, I was just telling Roman how we were both distracted with work. Or I would have sent you home sooner.”

You nodded, your voice had vanished.

“I tell her all the time, she works too hard.” A tight smile was across Roman’s face.

You looked at him, his mask for business was up. He had never worn it in relation to you. You didn’t like it. It made the hurt felt grow.

Bruce appeared to soak it all in. All of this made you want to cry and scream. Roman could be formal in front of you towards whomever he was meeting but not wanting your hand, the sorry excuse for a kiss. You could just throw up, you felt ill.

At the moment all you wanted to do was go upstairs, change and go to your loft. You would try and sleep all of this pain off. You could thank him another time, maybe. A half an hour or so later, you had long since zoned out and was on your third drink as they verbally fenced each other when you finally got up.

You turned sharply well, as sharply as your drinks would let you. “Bruce, I’ll call you.” You looked at Roman. “Good night.”

“We will miss your company.” Bruce replied lightly, you did not let him grab your hand.

“Another time.”

“I’ll be up soon.” Roman quickly said.

“Right.” You nodded.

*****

Once upstairs, a tear finally fell from your eye and obscured the note Roman had scrawled out to you earlier.

“You got fucking nerve.” Snarled a voice behind you.

You turned to him. “Oh?” You’d get your belongings later. You were in no mood. “And what does that mean? You said yourself I lose myself in my work, and I do.” You grabbed your purse, you came around from behind that side of the bed. You didn’t want to leave but you were too upset to stay.

He grabbed your arm, you wiggled against his grip and gave up.

“You didn’t fight against Bruce grabbing you.”

“Because he is my employer. Well, you didn’t want my hand earlier.” You spat out. “I am very upset.”

“Really? You’re upset?” His grip tightened, you winced. “Well, I’m furious with you.”

“Why?” You honestly didn’t care, you hurt too much.

“If you were going to humiliate me, why not someone else. Why Bruce Wayne?” He replied back.

“What do you mean? Do you even know how I feel when I am there now, ever since I became your girl or at least was.” You swallowed, that last bit made bile raise.

“What the fuck do you mean?” He mimicked pulling you suddenly so close there was no space between you.

“Listen, I feel welcomed but simultaneously under scrutiny because I am, was your girl.” Saying the last bit broke a part of you. Blinking, you tried desperately to stop the tears that wanted to come.

“What ?” He growled.

“You know what I said. I don’t want to repeat it.” Your cried.

“Is that what you want?” His breathing became heavy.

“No!” You cried looking into those fiery blue eyes. “You barely kiss me when I got to the table and then you push my hand away. You must want it over, if you can barely touch me.” A few tears finally escaped.

“Because I was angry! All day you are working for a man I hate. Then you come back with him in tow.” He barked. “After not hearing from you all day, I imagined things. He grabbed you and you felt embarrassed. I could only assume,” He swallowed became familiar and that is why you rushed off to clean up.”

You looked at him. “Really? You imagined things? You thought that of me?”

“Yes! He is the most eligible bachelor in Gotham. He’s wealthy. Girls are practically lined up with their mouths open.”

“Roman, I can’t believe you.” You muttered, as you tried to hold onto the pain that spread through you.

You could not believe that he would think you’d do that. You were shaken to your core. You managed to finally wiggle free of his grasp. What you did next certainly surprised you.

Instead walking towards the elevator, where you should have done, but instead you went to his office. You went over to his bar, not really thinking you grabbed something you could drink. You twisted the cap off. How did you get to this? How did the two of you get to this? Where was the man you loved with a a great passion. You loved him which till then you thought only ever existed in books.

“Fuck. I...I..”

You turned to Roman, as you continued to down the liquid.

“He’s supposed to be so charming, so good.” He went over to you.

You finally pulled the bottle from your lips. “And to me he is none of that. Well he’s nice enough. But it is you I want. Or wanted.” You slammed the bottle down, could feel the drinks and downing this amber liquid did as it coursed its way through your body. You looked at him. “You’re the one with girls waiting in the wings to blow you.”

He grimaced. “Yeah, well.” He looked sheepish.

“Well, what? Your dancers who fucking hate me, certainly would love to suck on your cock, if you let them. You went over to him. You took off your heels, and despite the inches you lost you continued to look into his blue eyes. “Did I just happened to do it better then any of them? Is that’s why you keep me around with pretty dresses and little notes.” Tears were now streaming down your cheeks. You walked past him. Once in the hall you tore off the beautiful dress and let it fall onto the cold floor.

You went back to what had been your side of the bed, sitting down you grabbed your tshirt and pulled it on.

“Fucking stop.” The sharp edge to his voice, was like a slap. You stopped.

He came over. “You are going to listen.” He grabbed you by your upper arms and moved you so the two you were somehow in the middle of that massive bed. You knew you should probably just fight or leave. All of this hurt so much.

He straddled you, but somehow as he did, he managed to keep his weight off you. Yet he had still managed to keep you in place. You saw something had shifted in his eyes.

“I will never be able to give you the life he has. I could walk out the door tomorrow and never return.”

“I know.” You sobbed.

“So when I didn’t hear from you today first the worry came that maybe someone tried to do something against you.”

“Roman, Zsasz drove me over.” You simply said.

“Please, I have to get this out.” He sighed. “Then I remembered how growing up, I watched him get everything I had ever wanted. Loving parents, all the good grades, the friends. So I thought maybe, just maybe he finally made some grand gesture to show you that deep down he realized that he actually cared for you. And that everything else in my life you had melted and were going to go and be his!”

“No. Never.” You shook your head. “You’re the only one I want to be with.”

“Baby.” His face softened.

“Yes.” You managed to croak out. This was all far too much for you.

He shifted and he kissed you. After first you could barely kiss him back, it was all so much. You just couldn’t, but finally you did. You felt as his hands had moved from holding you in place to holding you, and you accepted it. It helped to melt the pain away.

“Help me take this off of you.” He breathed against your ear. Together you took off your t-shirt. Once it was off he slid down you pressing some kisses here and there. “And these, he paused.

“Roman.” You were so exhausted. “I’m not sure if I can.” Yes, you had grown excited but to have actual sex, you were not sure you could handle actually that.

“All I ask is you let me show you, my love but if not this way, there is another.”

You were stunned and well a little stunned. His voice was as rough, raw as you felt. “Ok, Roman.” You breathed.

“Thank you, now if you want me to ever stop. You tell me do not hesitate.” His face grew serious losing some of the softness that had come to the surface.

“I promise.”

With your help your panties, found their way to the floor beside the bed. Gently you allowed him to open you.

He met your eyes and then you felt him press an incredibly soft kiss on your mound. Your heart fluttered. “Roman.” You breathed. He only smiled and still meeting your eyes, you felt his tongue.

You couldn’t help but call out. It felt so good. His tongue moved and glided over all the right places. It wasn’t long before you arched and were just a mess as your pleasure took a hold. Reaching your fingers nestled in his dark strands.

Words, were impossible. Just sounds. Roman, had never been with you like this. It was amazing. You shook, as you did you felt a his tongue slipped in. It made you called out even louder.

Pausing, he met your eyes as he licked his lips. “Will you cum for me baby?”

Breathlessly you nodded.

“Good.”

He was between your legs once again. As you drew close you couldn’t help pulling gently on his hair but it only made it all the more intense as his tongue was simply amazing.

You called out which was a mixture of his name and a moan. He gave you a soft kiss. As he pulled back. You reached for him.

He smiled, “Just a moment.”

“Ok.” You breathed and trembled. You were completely wilted into the bed.

He came back not long after with some pajama pants laying low on his hip, he had no shirt and looked amazing with his rumbled hair. You watched a he took a sip of water from and glass. He crawled over to you. He pulled you close.

“How is my baby?”

“Amazing, you managed to say.”

“Good. But just wait.” He leaned in close. “I’m not finished. I want to kiss you but didn’t want you to think, I was making you taste yourself.” He kissed a place under your ear. “Will you kiss me?”

“Yes.” It was a hungry kiss. But it broke when you felt as be gently held and then cupped you. “My sweet tasting baby.” He whisperer. You shook in his hands. “So wonderfully wet. I love it.”

Soon you were a shaking mess. You clung onto him, as he made you cum and the quickly he did so again.

Once completely wilted in his arms his eyes met your eyes. “My anger, my past got the better of me and I can’t excuse it. But know, I only ever want is you.”

“Yes, yes me too Roman. I love you so much.” You had swallowed so you could talk. You were tingling all over from his touches, his tongue. “Roman,” you practically purred since it was all you do. “I want, I want to make you feel good now too. “

“Then kiss me baby and fall asleep in my arms. I want you in my arms tonight.”

“I would love to.”

Your lips met and you kissed. You could not remember when exactly. But you did eventually your eye lids, your body fell heavy and soon you did in fact fall asleep on his arms.

@darling-i-read-it @spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @nebulastarr @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @poe-kadot26 @babydoll97 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @starwarsslytherin @professionalclown @chogisss @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @blondekel77 @saphic-stories @drarrylov3r @i-cant-hear-you16 @deadlymistress24 @yesqueenofthelight @generallj @thebeckyjolene @captainjacklynmarie

[lilyvandersteen]

The Christmas Guest Chapter 5

Author’s Note:

It’s WIP Wednesday, and thanks to @redheadgleek​‘s Write a Little Everyday Project, I’ve got another chapter for you to enjoy. Kurt’s POV this time, and he, too, seems to forget they’re not actually boyfriends sometimes... Happy reading!

Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 here on Tumblr, or read the story on AO3 or FF.net.

Chapter 5: Sweet Victory

 Kurt shivered as soon as the cold air hit him. Ugh. At least it was no longer snowing, but the wind tore right through him.

He looked at Blaine and Finn running around yelling and laughing and showering each other in icy goo, and shook his head in disbelief. Who on earth would willingly spend time outside on a day like this? Who would want to touch snow with their bare hands and have it thrown at them and LAUGH?

He shuddered to think of it. No, he didn’t want to be here at all, but Carole had all but forced him. So, first things first: he needed a game plan. How was he going to win this snowball fight in as little time as possible?

First, he made himself a snow fortress to hide behind, beyond thankful that his gloves were waterproof. Then, he made a mountain of snow balls, just to be prepared. And lastly, he used an old scarf of Burt’s to throw the snowballs with, so that he didn’t have to come too close to the others.

His first attack seemed a complete surprise for both Finn and Blaine, who hurried to hide themselves. Unlike him, they didn’t have a stack of snowballs at the ready, though, nor were they well-protected.

Kurt kept up a relentless pace of snowball throwing until he wore them both down, and then made them surrender.

Finn did so with bad grace, and stomped off to the house with a face like thunder, but Blaine surrendered looking at Kurt in complete admiration, and was it just Kurt’s imagination or did his voice sound husky, as if… As if he felt turned on?

Blaine bit his lip, still gazing at Kurt as though he came straight from Olympus, and before Kurt realized, he was stalking towards Blaine with the urge to pull their bodies together and kiss him until he ran out of oxygen. He’d almost reached Blaine when it hit him: they weren’t actually dating, so Blaine wasn’t his to kiss.

Oops, I forgot.

He hurried inside, his mind still reeling and his hormones going haywire. It was all too easy to slip into the boyfriend role with Blaine, who was everything Kurt wanted in a man. He’d have to be more careful, or he’d end up kissing Blaine without his consent, and that would backfire spectacularly.

Kurt took great satisfaction in denying Finn the sofa he wanted to sit on and the film he wanted to see, and hiding the tin of chocolate chip cookies from him.

Serves you right for forcing snow on me!

Blaine seemed content enough all cuddled up with him, his head on Kurt’s chest, and for a moment there, Kurt hoped that somehow he might feel the same, and that there was a happy ending in store for them.

It didn’t take long for that bubble to burst. Blaine excused himself to go put on a dry pair of pants, but though he promised to come back promptly to continue watching the movie, he didn’t. He stayed away.

Kurt only half enjoyed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, his mind constantly on Blaine. As soon as the credits started to roll, he switched the Bluray player off and went to look for his fake boyfriend.

He found Blaine in his room, with his back to Kurt, on the phone with someone who wanted to know whom he was spending the holidays with.

After vehemently denying he was with a guy who had apparently cheated on him, Blaine told the person on the phone that he was staying with Kurt and his family.

It was his answer to the obvious follow-up question that shook Kurt to the core.

“My boyfriend, Kurt, remember?”

You could have knocked Kurt over with a feather at that moment. Yes, they were keeping up the pretense for Kurt’s family, but why would Blaine lie to anyone else?

And then Blaine started talking about Kurt. How fashionable he was, how sweet and kind and beautiful and funny, “and he makes the best cookies, Coop, and you should taste his meatloaf recipe, it’s the best I’ve ever had, I swear”. According to Blaine, he was also “the BEST at snowball fights, you should have seen him, Coop, he was like this… general, and he totally creamed us, it was great!”

I really shouldn’t be listening to this. But oh, I’m so glad he likes me! Maybe we can stay in contact once we’re back in New York? If I give it time, who knows what might happen?

Kurt was just about to turn around and leave when Blaine said his goodbyes and then let out a deep sigh.

Kurt waited another minute and then softly knocked on the door. “Knock, knock, I’m looking for my missing boyfriend!”

Blaine laughed.

“I thought you might have gotten lost somewhere.”

Blaine shook his head. “My brother called. He always has a lot to say.”

“Seems like it. You missed the entire movie.”

Blaine looked stricken. “Sorry about that.”

“So is your brother also on the cruise?” Kurt enquired.

“No, no, he lives in LA. Goes from one party to another these days.”

“That sounds exhausting.”

Blaine let himself fall back onto the bed. “You have no idea.”

Kurt smiled at Blaine’s dramatics and sat down on the bed facing him. “Tell me about your brother.”

Before long, they were sharing their whole lives with each other. Blaine talked about growing up with a much older half-brother who resented him and who always wanted all the attention. Kurt talked about losing his mother as a child and then about getting bullied for being gay way before he even knew what that was. That led to Blaine telling him about the time he was bashed into hospital for going to a school dance with a male friend.

When he got too emotional to get any more words out, Kurt pulled him into a hug that lasted for a long time, gently stroking Blaine’s hair as he cried.

He worked up the courage to tell Blaine about Karofsky harassing and then kissing him, and about the death threats that had followed, something he’d never told a living soul, and then he was the one crying, and Blaine the one holding him and murmuring words of comfort.

What followed was more positive. Blaine talked about the Warblers at Dalton Academy, some of whom still felt like brothers to him. And Kurt talked about the like-minded people he’d befriended in New York, especially Isabelle and Elliott.

He was describing a concert he’d given with Elliott and Dani when he noticed Blaine’s eyes had closed, and he was breathing in and out slowly, his mouth half open, dead to the world.

Oh. He’s asleep. Am I that boring or was he just tired?

Kurt lay down on the bed facing Blaine, careful not to jostle him, and studied his face.

How was it possible that he trusted this man more than he’d ever trusted anyone after knowing him for only two days?

And where had Blaine been all his life? Only two hours away, apparently. They could have met long before, and it was only by the merest chance that they had crossed paths now.

He could hear Rachel’s shrill voice in his head proclaiming it was “FATE, Kurt, it had to be!”, and with a smile on his face, still pondering the vagaries of life, he nodded off too.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 37

Read on AO3. Part 36 here. Part 38 here.

Summary: There are only so many ways you can deliver news.

Words: 2700

Warnings: dystopia

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: I really didn't think I'd get a chapter out today, but I did, so yay!? Sorry it's a bit short (I remember when 2000 words was normal for me!), but I must be on my bullshit, as always.

Thank you very much to everyone who reached out. I had a shitty week this week, and I anticipate things in the next few weeks will not be super great. If there is a week where an update is missed, I hope you can understand.

I love y'all very much, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! <3

Beyond the sheet, the doctor’s shadow worked in silence, collecting instruments to soon be used to pry and expose your pomegranate flesh. Your monthly exam would never feel routine--prior to the collapse of society, they’d already been unpleasant. But now, separated from the provider by gossamer cloth, scrutinized in anonymity while metal objects cracked you wide, they crushed you in revulsion. The doctor whirled on his stool between your legs, air whispering over your bare skin. You swallowed.

A squeaking, clacking, and the cold metal of the speculum parted your labia and pierced your entrance. You held your breath, willing away the tears that pricked your sight--you’d always cried at this part, even before it became obligatory--drifting to your mind until he was finished. 

Kylo Ren had been gone for 18 days, and in his absence, Gilead had drawn from your veins, a vampire of systemic proportions bleeding you not of life, but of the will to live itself. Without his presence, his power, his capability to extract you from bondage, you’d sunk into it like a tarpit, thick sticky ooze edging ever-closer to your throat. Sutures now removed, antibiotics completed, your days consisted of waking, walking, waiting, and, more than once, weeping, before wishing yourself into a witless slumber. Not that you were surprised. After all, before you’d fucked him in secrecy the first time, you’d asked yourself, what was life without living? 

As it turned out: pretty fucking awful. 

Pain lit up your spine when the doctor dug at your cervix for a swab--you winced, and the exam room door opened.

“Hey, we’re running behind, you do you want me to grab the next one, or--”

“No, no,” your doctor replied. “I’m almost done with this one. Did you get the urinalysis back?”

“Uh, no, sorry, I haven’t checked. I can go do it now.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Oh, hey.” Then he swiveled away--leaving you gaping, a red tunnel open for observation. “Did you hear what the director said this morning?”

The other man hummed in thought. “Something about Commander Pryde. I didn’t really care.”

You stared into the ceiling, hands folded over your stomach, tears stinging again while your thighs began to tremble. Privacy and respect hadn’t been afforded to you in three years; you had long been designated a womb buried in a hunk of meat. But something about having your cervix on display like the Hope Diamond was particularly nauseating. Your stomach groaned in humiliation.

“Yeah. Anyone who’s even spoken with Pryde in the last month is getting rounded up.”

Breath stalled. There was no way the doctor knew who you were--the sheet separating you ensured that. Dread iced over your chest.

“Shit,” the other man replied. “Really? Damn.” A pause, clanging of instruments. “Just questioning, right?”

“For now.” The doctor grumbled. “I just had the tenaculum. What the hell?”

“Isn’t it right over there?”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Wheels squeaked across the floor. “Anyway, it’s just a new round of Ren’s bullshit.” He sighed, scooching between your legs again. Something sharp and cold pinched you--you bit your lip. “Dissenters this, threats to Gilead that. I wouldn’t worry about it. Unless--”

A snort. “I hate the both of ‘em.” The man sighed. “You’d think that fixing the birthrate should be their top priority, the way things are going.” 

The doctor grumbled, and something pinched you like talons, shooting pain up your spine. “Yeah. Well. If Ren has his way, half the people in this country are gonna end up dead.”

Your heart was tumbling into a canyon. In the time without him, your belief in your Commander’s defection had dimmed. You’d believed initially that his motivation for Pryde’s capture was revenge--something undesirable, but still understandable--but the longer his campaign went on, the more you realized that there would be nothing that would convince him to release his stranglehold on his position. A gnawing despair within you whispered that whatever Kylo Ren felt for you, he felt it one hundredfold for power and control; convincing him to leave it behind would not only be improbable, but impossible. Yet, as you considered betraying what little affection he might have, sorrow shredded you. The thought of his capture, trial, possible execution--

More tears. You couldn’t stomach the thought of him not here, of being torn from him, of his existence in the past tense. And you also couldn’t sacrifice your freedom for his sins. 

The release of the speculum tugged you back to the exam, and you sniffled, clearing your throat. You’d missed the rest of the conversation.

“Whatever happens, at least we won’t be out of a job. They’ll always need someone to make sure the breeding stock is healthy.” A pause, as if to acknowledge that, yes, you were still in the room. “No offense, of course.”

Bile burned your tongue. You said nothing. 

“Shit, that reminds me,” said the other man. “I’ll go check the urinalysis.”

“Thanks.” 

The door shut. Without warning, latex fingers pushed inside of you, another hand pressing down on your belly. The inspection went on for seconds longer than you thought it should, his fingers curling, as if he was languishing there, reveling in the sensation of feeling your uterus. For a blink, every thought surrounding your Commander’s desertion of Gilead fled your mind, consumed by a venomous desire that he might catch this doctor in the act and crack his skull on the pearly tile, spray his blood, stain the grout. And then the intrusion was over, and your fury dissipated, the ache for retribution hollowing in your heart. 

It wouldn’t have mattered, really, if he had been standing in the room when it had happened--the doctor was no anomaly, but a functioning cog in Kylo Ren’s machine. As long as you both remained in clutches of his own creation, he would spend eternity defending you from its design. Even if you could be an exception, other women would suffer in forced silence. And even if he could mould it to your liking, it would still mean he preferred you to exist in subjugation instead of liberation.

Hope had been a security blanket almost three weeks ago, thick and warm around your shoulders while he’d bathed you with gentle hands. Now it clung in tatters to your ribs, the tiny scraps fluttering like tissue with every gust of reality.

The door opened again. 

“Hey,” the man said. “Got the results.”

A snap of rubber as the doctor removed his gloves. “And?”

“Look for yourself.”

Shuffling paper stifled the sad knock of your pulse in your ears. Perhaps you knew, and had always known, that Kylo might never come to agree with your perspective. You just frequently forgot to acknowledge that it would mean letting him go. Forever. 

“Hey! Okay!” A warm palm slapped your thigh, and you squeaked. “We got another one!”

When no one responded, you realized he had been speaking to you. About a result. A urinalysis. Another one...

You couldn’t speak. Or breathe. Oh--

“You’re pregnant!” 

Like a geyser, it burst from you--your sorrow, your fear, your disgust, your absolute joy--and poured in rivers down your cheeks, your hands clapping over your face. There was no one coherent thought that could be plucked from your mind, just a constant tornado of horrific exhilaration, a celebratory mourning that within you, a tangible testament to you and your Commander’s connection beat and pulsed and flourished with life, growing veins like vines and limbs like wings. 

His child--your child--a physical entity you could nourish in the wake of his reluctance, an unalterable legacy inside of your womb, one that you, if you were to be denied all else, could adore. Your child, but also his child, descendant to a despondent devil, progeny to a preserver of your own imprisonment. A child that, if born into the realm of its father’s regency, would never know normality, or maybe even you--at all. A heaving sob cracked through, and you shivered, trembling with terrified bliss.

The doctor slapped your thigh again. “Don’t stress!” he said. “According to the chart here, you’re about six weeks along. There’s still a chance for disruption. So I’d stay relaxed, all right?” 

Swallowing, you creaked out a noise of assent. There wasn’t a word you could bear to say. 

After the doctor left, you slipped back into your red dress and wings--despite Kylo’s words weeks earlier, you had been provided no other options after he’d left, and you suspected he’d meant for you to only be out of uniform in his presence, regardless. You were escorted by an armed nurse out of the clinic, where a Knight--still masked, no cloak, just in tactical gear--was waiting by the black SUV you’d seen a few of them in before. Averting your gaze, you climbed into the back and buckled in. The vehicle started, you coasted through the parking lot, and onto the road.

For the first time in several days, the sun was out--though it would need more than an afternoon to evaporate the muggy air that had accumulated in its absence. You gazed into the stark, cloudless sky, placing your hands on your belly, as if you could commune with the little being inside of you, know it before it knew you. A question, awful and exciting, lingered in your mind  as you imagined telling Kylo the news, but no answer revealed itself. You replayed the scenario over and over again, practicing it on your tongue--I’m pregnant--digging deep for his reaction. But it was useless, as initially unknowable as anything else about him. Anxiety constricted your heart, a dam about to crumble behind your eyes.

The Knight turned a corner, and you jostled in the backseat. There couldn’t have been much intimacy between them all. But still.

“How do you think the Commander would respond…” You swallowed again--hesitation kept wadding in your throat. “How do you think he’d respond to a pregnancy?”

Long, sweltering seconds ticked by without a word. Balling your hands in your lap, your palms slipped, heartbeat thumped in your clasped thumbs. You’d never heard a Knight say a word, before--you weren’t sure why you were expecting one to answer you. Lava licked at your neck, dripping down your spine, your teeth tearing at your cheeks. 

“Whatever it is,” the Knight said, shattering expectation, “anything in comparison will look like apathy.”

A rush of interminable origin raced your flesh, flushing hot in your blood. That was about as accurate as you could expect. And unsatisfying as you could predict.

When you arrived at home and stepped out of the vehicle, another realization crested over you. Johana. Though your relationship had settled into an uneasy truce since the day the Commander had left, the words she spared you had been few and far between. You knew that your pregnancy was possibly her only dream, but combined with the uncharted territory of her husband’s intentions, you worried it would become her nightmare. 

At the same time, perhaps these worries were unfounded--the threats Kylo would face by disrupting his Wife’s right to your child might be too great for him to risk his power. His concessions had been minor and in relative secrecy, affecting only his relationship with you--everything else had the secondary benefit of securing his reign. He’d said plenty, but how much had he meant? After overhearing the discussion in the exam room, you were fairly certain that if made to choose between Gilead and you, you’d lose.

You followed the Knight into the house, relieved to cross into central air. Taking a few slow steps, you drew a deep breath.

“Ms. Johana!” You paused, listening for a response. You heard none. “Ms. Johana?”

She wasn’t in the house--that meant she was likely out in the yard. In the heat. Sighing, you trudged through the halls through the back door, squinting as light smacked your face. In the weeks since Kylo’s departure, the garden had been cleared and mostly restored at Johana’s behest--the grass gleamed gold, summer flowers replanted in over-saturated swirls of color. You hopped over the stones, turning the words on your tongue, hoping to make them real in your mouth.

I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m--

“Ofkylo.”

You stalled, recognizing the moniker as yours, resentful of its familiarity to your ears. Beyond one of the hedges was Johana, prying open a birdfeeder. Heat--though whether it was from the sun or your fear, you didn’t know--sizzled the nape of your neck. You steeled your jaw, grabbing your skirts and tromping through the trimmed lawn in her direction.

“What are you doing out here?” There was a bag of mixed seed at her feet, her sleeves pushed up to her elbows as she wiped the feeder clean with a rag. “I thought you just left for your exam.”

“I did. I’m back,” you said. “I was, um. Looking for you.”

“Oh.” She flipped the top in her little hands, scrubbing it clean, too. “Well, that’s fine. What’s going on? They didn’t find out about the gunshot, right?”

You shook your head. “Oh, no no. That’s fine.”

“Good,” she said. “I’m tired of lying for your benefit. The antibiotics weren’t--”

“I know, Ms. Johana,” you sighed. “So…” The words were so simple, but so difficult to say. “The exam went well.”

She nodded, digging into the seed, scooping a helping. “Uh-huh.”

There was nothing that would make this any less nerve-wracking. You inflated your chest, and let it go. “I’m pregnant.”

Johana stopped, like she’d been shot herself, staring into the ground. The seed fell from her palms and spilled over her shoes. She rose, gaze drifting from your feet, to your hands, to your face, her chin shaking. A smile was threatening to explode across her lips.

“Wait.” She exhaled. “Really?”

Wagging your arms in admission, you nodded. “Yup.”

A human springtrap, she squealed, launching into you and wrapping you in a tight, bony hug. You wheezed from her strength--she squeezed you, pinning your limbs to your sides as she wriggled you like a toy. 

“Yes!” She jumped up and down, still holding you. “Yes, yes, yes!”

“Yes,” you repeated. “It’s, um, it’s true!”

Johana released you, erupting with elation. “This is amazing!” she said. “Lord, I’m going to have to go see everyone. Yes, we’ll have to have a party.” She clapped her hands and hugged you again. “Can you let the Marthas know to clean this up? I have to get going.” A playful, devious smirk twisted her mouth as she skipped into the house, congratulating herself. “Oh, they’re going to be so jealous! I’m pregnant!”

You stood, staring down at your belly. It wasn’t obvious, yet--but it wouldn’t be long. The thought of Johana preening, presiding over your stomach like it was her work paralyzed your heart. Had it been any other Commander, any other household, you might have even been relieved to incubate your ticket out of the Colonies, but now, you felt only panic. You didn’t want to give this baby up to her--a desire you never would have anticipated.

But then, none of this had been anything you had the ability to anticipate. A Handmaid was not supposed fuck her Commander outside of the Ceremony, or kiss him, or wake up in his embrace. A Handmaid was not supposed to yearn for her Commander, feel comfort from his  voice, find companionship in his presence, or feel grateful for his brutality and strength. A Handmaid was not supposed to plan her Commander’s downfall, or plan his escape, and especially not plan his future with her in it.

A Handmaid was not supposed to fall in love with her Commander. But you were a Handmaid. And it was too late.

You left the empty birdfeeder and the bag of seed, slinking up the stairs, creeping back to your room. Throat, chest, face tight, you laid in bed, palms planted on your stomach, and breathed. Shutting your eyes, you hoped for the hundred-thousandth time in three years you would wake up in a different world--a world where the father of your child was not your legal owner, a world where another woman was not claiming it as hers, a world where you opened your eyes and you were not alone, and you were free, and you were truly, deservedly loved.

If you fell asleep, you didn’t know--the next thing you recalled was the familiar rumble of the Audi’s engine, dying as it rolled into the driveway.

[underlinedkasis]

Unconscious Eyes [Shoto x Reader]

Unconscious Eyes

Shoto Todoroki x Impaired! Reader

You felt a smile tug at your lips when you saw the bobbing head of bicoloured hair. Todoroki was leaning against a street light, nodding off as he waited for you.

‘_So cute.’ _You thought to yourself. You then walked up to him and as he started to wake up, gave him a little peck on the cheek to jumpstart him. And it worked like a charm. Instantly, he was awake, returning the gesture like a gentleman. Giggling, you grabbed his hand and tugged him off to school.

Yanking open the door of 3-A with clumsy grace, you smiled at everyone in the class.

“Morning! We’re not late!” You declared. Usually, you and your boyfriend were barely on time if not a few minutes late thanks to you. Today however, you were right on time- if not a little early. After all, today was the day you were going back to your old hero mentors. All the third years had this day to visit and help their former mentors, taking the chance to also look back on their growth. Everyone was excited, but you were absolutely ecstatic to see Mirko again!

The Rabbit Hero had taught you so much and without her, your quirk use and ability wouldn’t be anywhere near what it was now. You were so happy just thinking about seeing—.

An audible gasp sounded across the room and everyone went silent. Worried, you tensed and braced yourself for something you not like. However, when you turned around and followed everyone’s stares, all you saw was a red Todoroki and the traces of a smile disappearing from his face. You looked around confused.

“Wait. What’d I miss?” You questioned.

After a small silence, Kaminari answered.

“Bro…..Todoroki..smiled?” His question seemed to pull everyone from their trances.

“No, not smiled! I-it was a full on grin?!”

“Yeah! He was beaming!”

“It looked as if his mouth would split because of his elation!” The room erupted in chatter. After a few seconds of ear-splitting jabbering, you were able to calm your giggles.

“WOAH! Everyone CALM DOWN!” You hollered. Your yell echoed out and luckily quieted down the room.

“Jeez. Have you people never seen a smile? Ya know, the thing where you lift the corners of your mouth? Plus, that smile wasn’t his.” You held up your connected hands and motioned to them. “It was mine. I was excited. Get it?” There were collective ‘ohs’ and some sighs of relief.

Chuckling sheepishly, you sneaked a glance at your annoyed boyfriend.

“Sorry Sho. I forgot my glove. Forgive me?” You pouted and made puppy eyes, pulling a reluctant sigh and nod from Shoto.

Your quirk, Link meant that you could form a physical, mental, or emotional connection with anyone you touch. A full mental connection was the most exhausting, so mostly you used an emotional connection. And of course, you sometimes did it unknowingly when you were feeling a particularly strong emotion. Like just now.

“It’s fine. Just put your glove on. And watch the pinky.” Shaking his head and trying to hide a smile, he went to his seat. Mirroring his grin, you slipped on a pair of black spandex gloves missing a finger sleeve and sat down as well.

When Aizawa finished his mini lecture on how screwed they’d be if they did anything stupid, it was time to leave. Pulling your sour boyfriend into a hug, you give him a peck on the lips and a giggle.

“Stop pouting. It’s three days. I’ll call and text alright? And I’ll be careful which Rumi-sensei probably won’t like, but..” You had smiled reassuringly and gave him a last kiss before pulling away.

You had meant every word, but when a deadly villain appeared and the time came, you couldn’t stop yourself from racing around the corner to confront the villain. So here you were, panting and grimacing from the pain pulsing through your body.

“Why are you doing this?!” You hollered half curious and half hoping someone would hear you.

“Because the world isn’t fair. So what’s the point in playing by the rules?” The figure you were fighting snarled. He hadn’t used his quirk yet but still managed to beat the crap out of you. You were bleeding, achy and scrambling to find an advantage, a tiny bit of leverage. And so, you did the stupidest thing you could think of.

You rushed towards the villain, reaching out your ungloved right hand. This was all you could do. Reach out and hope. But the action was desperate and stupid, and the villain knew too. He smirked before easily grabbing your outstretched hand and yanking it, throwing you off balance. When he drew a quick line across your arm as you collapsed to the ground, devastation and hopelessness were seen on your face, seemingly giving up. Anyone could tell you were tired, frustrated with feeling useless as you lay there. But of course, no one saw your wide smirk hidden by your curtain of bedraggled hair. Your hand had touched his. Your ungloved hand. And you could literally feel the smugness radiating off him at his apparent victory. Now all you had to do was transfer your injuries onto—.

You couldn’t give any other reaction then tense. 

Everything was confusing, nothing made sense nothing made sense and you couldn-  

“Y************/N! Are you okay? Y-Y-Y/N!”

Panicked, rambling, blurring and distorted EVERYTHING

You heard the tinny footsteps before red and white even slid into your bland view of the room. And when your eyes shifted, they couldn’t meet his. 

You couldn’t see them. The true windows to his soul were gone in your eyes, covered by blurred edges of skin colour. You couldn’t see his fingers either, or the lines on his school uniform. No details. It was all just shapes and blurs. And as your eyes slid back up to his face, you caught an interruption in the never-ending skin when he talked.

“[Y/N]? I heard you were here. Are you alright? They wouldn’t tell me what happened.” Shoto breathed out as his eyes raked your figure and saw no life threatening wounds. He got worried for a second-

“I’m not alright..” He stiffened before whipping his eyes to yours, only to see your eyes not quite looking at his. Like they weren’t there. Like you couldn’t-

“I can barely see Shoto. I..” You sank your teeth into your lip, drawing blood in an instant. “I can’t see your eyes. Or your individual fingers. I can’t see your mouth moving when you talk and I just can’t see.” 

You didn’t bother catching the blood dripping from your lip as you tried to decipher the boy’s reaction. And when you saw liquid plopping onto the cold marble, you realized you had tears streaming down your face.

“I-I can’t see. It h-happened because of t-the villains quirk. He’s dead so he c-can’t take it hic back..” Your shoulders were shaking as you tried to spout out logic to calm your quickly onsetting panic. It was as if saying the words set everything in stone, which was then proceeded to hit her right in the gut. The realization that her vision would never be normal again.

You desperately drew in air and exhaled shaky breaths to try and stop your quivering lips, only looking up to see your boyfriend when you calmed down. And the sight shook you.

His eyebrows were scrunched together tightly, looking almost painful, and his haunted eyes were filled with unshed tears but the thing that scared you the most, was the painful smile drawn across his face. The anguish was etched into his never-ending steel and blue eyes and sorrow tumbled from his face in tear form, but he had a smile on his face.

“..Shoto.”

“Sorry. It’s just..” He clenched his shirt in his hands. “First my father, then my mother, and even my brother who I didn’t know very well…there’s something wrong with all of them, and now it’s happened to you too. But.. do you see the common link? It’s me.****_ _I’m the reason my mother is in this same hospital, my brothers a villain because of my father, who wouldn’t have abused him as much if I’d sucked it up a little quicker, and now here you are, with _broken _eyes because I wasn’t there.” He chuckled shakily but his smile broke, exposing the guilt and trembling shoulders.

The room was silent for a few minutes, letting a heavy atmosphere sink further into the room.

“Sho. Your father was crooked. How could you have prevented something that happened before you even existed? Also, every kid deserves to be protected, right? And one of the reasons you hate your father is because you know what he did to you isn’t right to do to any young child, right?” You paused to actually let him reply, but quickly cut him off when he started to ramble.

“Yes, or no?” He sighed.

“Yes.”

“Alright, so if you think that, can you criticize a child for not being cold and cut off, and cutthroat? It’s not rational to expect that of a child. And the feeling of pain, the longing for simple happiness..” Your voice cracked. “It’s what you should’ve gotten. So it’s okay. It’s not you. It was never you.” You reached your arms out, enveloping him in a hug. You clung to each other, indescribable loving emotions taking place of old painful ones, hopefully to stay in their place for a long while.

“Ready?” You asked, facing away from your boyfriend.

“Yes.” He couldn’t lie when he said he was nervous, but gave you the thumbs up. Bracing yourself, you turned around and opened your eyes, letting him see your vision helpers in all their glory.

“[Y/N]? What did they do to your eyes?? Are they….” He trailed off at the sight of your blue and grey eyes, suspiciously matching with the bi-coloured boy.

“..You’re pranking me aren’t you?” He guessed in a flat tone, not giving away if he was even a little bit amused. You giggled anyway, cheering up the daunting atmosphere that had filled the room before.

A couple months ago after you and Shoto(but mostly you) cried out all your tears, the doctor came in and announced that they may have a way to improve you vision at least to a point of being able to see the words on the classroom chalkboard from the second row. Now you were here, trying on the lenses Mei had worked obsessively on.

As you pulled out the coloured contacts you had in, you grabbed the screened glasses you flipped onto your head and pulled them back down. Breathing in deeply, you opened your eyes and slid your eyes to meet his.

His endless pools of aquamarine and silver, shining with the smallest sliver of hope.

“..Hey.” You whispered. “Hi. Hey. Oh god. Uh—Your hair looks as gorgeous as ever. A-And don’t get me started on your eyes. Also, what is wrong with your fashion sense? You look like a hippie.” You let out a watery chuckle. You couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t keep the words from flowing out. You rambled on about everything; every little detail down to couple strands of hair resting over his eyes.

When you finally stopped to take in a breath, you were hit with the most breathtaking sight of all. The tired boy had the biggest grin, brimming with raw joy and pure exhilaration. It dazzled you; and you remembered. Seeing the little quirk of his eyebrow when something annoyed him, the adorable dazed blankness in class, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly whenever you did something ridiculous.

You remembered his love.

And you were so thankful.

_____________________________

....In case you haven’t noticed, schedule’s are dead to me. But hello, whoever is reading this! Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoyed! Have a great day!

-Kasis<3

[minchiutau]

QUARTET NIGHT LIVE FLY TO THE FUTURE 2018 Report (Day 1&2)

Most details are from 1st day because we usually can’t see 1st day performances except for MC in DVD/BD anyway so i tried to focus on writing details of performance from 1st day more than 2nd (tho in term of perf there weren’t many differences) It contains most of the MCs and my thoughts about it!

Warning: Both reports and translations of the dialogue ARE not 100% accurate.  It’s based on what i and my friend remembered and took notes of. The post is extremely long! And i spent tons of time typing this so there might be a lot of grammar and typing errors. I’d be happy if you would overlook all of my mistakes here!

Edit: Let me apologize for the extreme delay.. I actually had this finished a week after it happened, and i was probably super tired when i finished it. I’m not sure how that happened, but apparently i didn’t post it and this had been sitting on my drafts for six months because i went on a hiatus afterwards.... I realized it after opening tumblr a day ago. I was super sad because it was so long and i spent tons of time writing it.. if possible i don’t want to delete it so here it is!

Opening lines by QN members

Opening VTR, there isn't anything like last QN live but it was visual picture slideshow of previous live and it shows how QN has been around since 2012~now. QUARTET★NIGHT instrumental was playing on the background.

Followed with clock'tick tock sound, bell rang and the main stage monitor was split into two and QN appeared with gold stage outfit and big clock on the background! Tattsun and Morikubo had similar hairstyle to the previous live with minor change (styling?) while maenu had brown hair tied like in 6th live melting of snow performance and shoutan with ai's hairstyle+hair color (bleached in some parts, not entirely but it looks really nice!)

1. THE WORLD IS MINE I actually guessed this would be the first song and i was right! It started with really pretty acapella ;;_;; THEIR HARMONIES WERE PERFECT IT WAS LEGENDARY like it was probably one of the best harmonization i've heard in my life (if previous live wasn't enough) I kinda forgot what happened during this performance because i was too amazed by how good they sang tbh. Pretty sure people know how good QN harmonize, but this one was especially good! If i remembered it right, there were some dance moves! The audience also sang "The world is mine!" part in the bridge, it was fun! I literally cried the moment they appeared i can’t remember much AHAHA //sweats

2.Poison KISS As soon as the intro started people around me went crazy with their screams xD It's more or less similar to what we've seen in previous lives. Do they have any tradition bc they always sing this song since 3rd live xD Except of course, they were dancing a lot more now and this song is actually one of the good example of their improvements! This song is still as hyped as always. They walked from the main stage to the front stage and during that they also did some poses and fanservices

MC (or not really since they were talking in character voice the whole time? kinda like opening serifu) Maenu: *Camus butler mode* Welcome to "QUARTET NIGHT LIVE FLY TO THE FUTURE" ladies and gentlemen. I'm Camus and let us enjoy tonight together. *Camus usual mode change* Or did you really think i'd say that, you peasant?! Be sure to follow us to the end. (In 2nd day camus didn't say the peasant thingy tho idk why) Shoutan: I'm Mikaze Ai. I'll make it a fun and dokidoki live until the end! *throw kiss* Tattsun: It's Kurosaki Ranmaru! It's finally our rocking time! Let's enjoy it till the end! Morikubo: Rei-chan’s the one left here~! My girl and my boy!! It's okay for Rei-chan to start first, right~?! and it went right to the next song

3. On Your Mark! I personally thought that this song sounds hard to sing (maybe bc of the key progression??) but Morikubo did great! His singing was super stable and consistent, as usual. He danced A LOT more on this one! Probably the most i've seen from reiji's solo so far! And he did super great! ;; It’s similar to the perf he had in 6th live except i think he did even better this time!! He must've worked really hard! He forgot a bit of his part in 1st day xD but he recovered right after!

4. Futari no Monogram I HAD FEELING THIS WOULD COME bc it was the only ai's solo shoutan didn't sing in QN 1st solo con.. and I definitely saw improvements! He was dancing (almost) all of the time and but he sounded A LOT more stable than 5th live (and i think 5th live was already great) it looked so easy for him xD But all in one it's similar to the one we've seen previously, except i think there were some additional moves? (Edit: many parts are entirely different too) In the end shoutan also said "Da~isuki" like 5th live, except it was in a bit more playful tone (kinda teasing tone?) Overall i think he did even better than 5th live! He also did some fanservices and i personally like the part where he fixed his silver gloves.

5. Saintly Territory Maenu appeared with his (this time a bit thin?) white mantle and did the dance like in previous live! Same with shoutan, i think he improved a lot with his singing stability and this time it sounded extremely stable and he looks a lot more relaxed with his dancing too!;; I really love how they keep on improving even tho they were already that good to begin with. He came to from main stage to front stage and suddenly he appeared with camus' stick from halfway and danced with it! xD He danced a lot! I’m not sure if it’s in this song or not but if i remember it right on first day, he also gave us a fanservice of him smirking in front of the camera and people went crazy over it (i mean, me too AHAHA)

6. BE PROUD Remember how legendary 6th live performance of this song was? Yeah, this time it was equally amazing. He appeared with stand-mic and it was a straightforward+simple performance, yet his singing was really amazing i kinda stopped swinging penlight.. The adlib on the bridge was really powerful and it just hit me hard i almost teared up ;; On last reff he went down on his knees and made really pained expression ;; in general he had pained expression on his face and it made me emotional.. also the trademark super-long notes in the end was also there, it was just amazing! I got chills. Personally i like last reff "hoeru shika naku (I have no other choice but to howl)" because he sounded like he was actually howling. BUT SERIOUSLY it was extremely emotional, both days were powerful and all in one it’s just simply amazing. Fight me you don’t like Ranmaru and tattsun after you listen to this performance AHAHA

The screen suddenly said "Acoustic corner, Reiji Camus", Morikubo and Maenu appeared with long sleeves shirt. Morikubo (reiji's) was black (with stage-like vest?) and maenu was white (with blue tie).They greeted the hall and live-viewing audience. Maenu wore camus' glasses. They said they were doing something new, which was acoustic corner! The band (?) was preparing on their back while they were doing the MC. Chairs were also prepared for them and they talked while sitting on it, also telling the audience to sit throughout acoustic performance.

Day 1 They talked about there weren't many chances to have only the two of them on MC and how rehearsal have passed in a blink of eye. It seemed like they were doing it under a lot of pressure (considering last live extreme high quality i'm not surprised tbh lol) Maenu: "It's hard to gather all of us together on the rehearsal" Morikubo: "We only managed to get all together once (?!) on the rehearsal. We sometimes did it with three of us present and for some reasons most of the time one of us couldn't be present." (audience sounded surprised! Me too, they performed really good together i just didn't expect it) Maenu: "I started rehearsal mainly from September. Though of course,  i received choreography videos beforehand." Morikubo: "The red person started really early, didn't he?" (audience laughed) Maenu: "He always got to start rehearsal really early every live" Morikubo: "He always got to start really early i couldn't help but thinking "Eh?! He started already?!" when i heard it." Maenu: "And he'd contact us with "I started with it!" first everytime" After that they were talking about the live and how it started with a new song! Apparently they were practicing it it a lot to the point that they saw it on their dreams lol Morikubo danced a bit (?) of the choreo with his hand, pointed at Maenu and said he often did those moves (practicing the move, the usual maenu’s greatness; not sure but i think it was killer kiss moves?) xD They talked about how it was the first time for the four of them to perform an acoustic corner on utapri live and that the live was fun. Morikubo: "I always receive the choreography video from the dance teacher first and i got to voice my opinion first if the dance was too hard or if it needs to be changed into easier moves. If i'm okay with it then the three of them will follow. (Because he's the oldest) Until now if some parts were too hard i'd say so and got scolded by certain someone (Tattsun LOL). But this time, after receiving it I said nothing about it and did it the way it's supposed to be." (Audience cheers) Maenu: "The choreography was really hard, wasn't it?" Morikubo: "Neverthless, our duty this time is to follow after Quartet Night. If the four of them are supposed to do it that way, then we will do our best to follow after them. We did our best without making excuses." (Audience cheers) Morikubo: "Up till now, there are a lot of idol groups existing right? They dance and sing." Maenu: "They do." Morikubo: "But look at us, we're dancing, singing AND harmonizing. Isn't that rare to be found?" Maenu: "It's rare indeed!" Morikubo: "We're dancing, singing AND harmonizing! (2nd time xD)" (Audience cheers) Morikubo: "If the four of them aim for even higher level, we'll also aim for it and chase after them(characters)!" After that they called for the acoustic band members. They also talked about Maenu's Camus glasses and apparently, Maenu being the biggest Camus fan he is, got the glasses by himself xD (If i remember right it got sold out really fast so i think he meant he put tons of effort to get it)

Day 2  They talked about how they’re doing it on Kobe this time. Up till now utapri live (or most events actually) was held in kanto region/near tokyo but this time the live was held in kansai region (Psst as someone who lives in kansai i’m extremely happy) They greeted people at live-viewing. Maenu: *to the camera* “Can you see us here?” Morikubo: “Live-viewiiiing!” Some of the audiences in the hall went “Fuuu~↑” even tho they were calling for the live-viewing LOL Maenu: “*a bit puzzled* O--oh I could hear their voices, i heard the Fuuu~“ xD From this point they’ll keep on doing this few times if someone let out voices when they were calling for people in live-viewing LOL There was also a small accident of the staffs bringing wrong water-bottle for Maenu (it was tatsu’s) xD They talked about how the penlight color change was automatically controlled by the staffs (like the one on previous live) Morikubo: “I thought it was amazing!” Maenu: “At first i thought ‘they changed the color so quickly!!’ but it seems like that was not the case” xD Morikubo: “Ah, but it’s possible to switch it into your favorite color, right?” Maenu: “Yes, it’s possible to do both” Morikubo: “If i say a color right now would it be possible (for the staffs) to change the color right away?” Maenu: “It’s supposed to be on programmed automatically isn’t it?” Morikubo: “Let’s try it!” Maenu: “I’m not sure, we haven’t told the staffs beforehand!” xD Morikubo: “We haven’t told them anything!” Maenu: “They must be panicking right now” Morikubo: “Everyone, I’ll say ‘red’ so please switch your penlight into another color and don’t change the color manually! Let’s see if it’s possible” Morikubo: “Here i go, red!!!” They waited few seconds and the color didn’t change xD Morikubo: “So it’s not possible!” *audience laughed* Maenu: “It has to be programmed beforehand” in the middle of their talk suddenly all of the penlight on the hall turned red Morikubo: “OHHH IT’S RED!!” Maenu: “That’s amazing!!! The staffs definitely panicked just now” Morikubo: “I’m sorry for doing it suddenly!”  Maenu: “(it’s all in red) So this is what Tatsu saw while singing” Morikubo: “(to audience)Ah, you can turn it back to your favorite color now. Thank you very much for your cooperation” They talked about how the concert hall is a good hall (and i totally agree) and how they could see the audience clearly. Then they talked about how it was a 2 days concert as opposed to prev one. Afterwards Morikubo told us that they’re ready to do it for another day or two xD Maenu agreed Maenu: “Even the rehearsals were fun. Of course there were a lot of hardships, but the sensation of being able to stand with the four of us.. it’s just addictive” Morikubo: “Lately, there’s something all of us often do. Inside the dressing room, when the four of us were sitting in front of the mirrors and our songs were played on the background, we’ll do an imitation/impression of our own characters”  Maenu: “A bit exaggerated one” Audience screamed “Do it~~” and the two of us fell into silence all of sudden xD Maenu: “If you said something like that of course it’ll come into this!” Morikubo: “It’s more or less just what you always hear from us” Audience told them to do it again Morikubo: “Yesterday we talked about such topic. We were talking about how Shouta used to sing demos of most utapri songs and we asked about how he did our character voices. *stares at maenu* How did he do Ran-Ran again?” Maenu: “?! I’d be the one doing it?!”  He did an impression of Ranmaru’s “Arai hou ga ii~” of Poison kiss and it was super funny! xD He made his voice really hoarse and also made funny expression with his eyes wide-opened LOL Morikubo then apologized at him for making him suddenly do it Maenu: “You told me to do it!” Morikubo: “I wasn’t expecting you to do it with that expression” Maenu: “I’m sorry please forget the thing i did just now” LOL Maenu: “At rehearsal we often do something like that to fill the part of the member that wasn’t there. For example Morikubo-san’s part” Morikubo: “They’ll start imitating ‘Tee ↑ ee↑ (the vocal swing he often does, you’d probably get what i mean if you listened to Reiji’s singing in general)” Maenu: *imitates* “More and More and~~(poison kiss w/hands movements too)” Morikubo: “It’s not “Mori mori ok?!”  (means to do something vigorously in japanese) Maenu: “Even all of those things were really fun” Morikubo: “Camus’ (impression) were amazing too you know” Maenu: “Tatsu totally did that on purpose!” Morikubo: “If Tatsu comes later, tell him to do it here” And they called the band

7. KILLER KISS When they talked about how they were going to perform it acoustic i actually couldn't imagine how it would sound with this song but it actually sounded really pleasant! I mean, it sounded a lot quieter than the actual song so you could hear their great voices and amazing harmonization crystal clear! It sounded really refreshing! They also did a bit of the little hand choreography similar to the one on 6th live. They sounded really powerful!

Shoutan and Tattsun appeared. Shoutan had white shirt with lilac-colored flower on his left pocket and Tattsun had black shirt they also talked while sitting like Morikubo and Maenu (At some parts they also stood?).

Day 1 Shoutan talked about how it's refreshing to be able to talk with just the two of them and tattsun agreed to it. In the middle of convo Tattsun just went with sudden "Let's introduce ourself" and the audience laughed. Shoutan: "Everyone, good evening! I'm Mikaze Ai's good friend Aoi Shouta!" Tattsun: "You went with that?! I'm the one who's always standing closest to Kurosaki Ranmaru, Suzuki Tatsuhisa." Tattsun: "Aaa~ It's refreshi-- *looks at shoutan turning his back from audience* Hey! Don't fix your belt here!" (Shoutan a bit panicking lol) Tattsun: "This is why before the live started i told you not to eat that many cream puffs!!"* (if you don't get this reference go search for game and drama CDs involving Ai lol) Shoutan: "That's not true!" lol Tattsun also said Morikubo and Maenu talked a lot so almost no topic left for them to talk xD Shoutan told the camera to zoom at Tattsun's nails. Apparently at previous lives Tattsun's nail colors were normal red but this time he finally had Ranmaru's burgundy dark red! Also Shoutan tried to let his nails grow but at rehearsal two of it hit the mic and broke. He also had Ai's color nail btw. Tattsun: "This time, at rehearsal we were often together. Of course we were looking at each other practices a lot too. The more i see him, to be honest I could only see Shouta as a girl!" Shoutan: "You said that a lot! Stuffs like "what's with that body line!?" Tattsun: "His girl power (女子力) is increasing day by day! If it's me i definitely wouldn't be able to do it! For example this pose *posing*" Shoutan: "This one? *posing*" (hard to describe so take a look at matoni-sensei's report pic here! the pose at the very middle of the pic) Tattsun: "How did you do that?" *imitating but failed* (Audience laughed) Tattsun: "This time, for example the dance, like previously talked, we're following the footsteps of our characters. As they go higher, we as one try to follow them. To begin with I only do stuffs like this once a year here you know!" Shoutan: "This kind of chance doesn't happen often, right? But actually tatsu-nii at his own will, you know, even after the rehearsal was supposed to end--" Tattsun: "Hey~ Stop this topic!" Shoutan: "When the rehearsal ended he'd go around saying "I'm sorry, can i do it just one more time?" you know! Of course we have to make sure we're in good condition by resting well too, but his feelings reached me and it made me want to reply it with same thing." Tattsun: "Right, at that time i had the time so i tried to use all of my time practicing and when i realized it i've been doing it for six and half hours." Shoutan: "Really, how many times did you do the live that time?"   (Audience laughed) Tattsun: "And Shouta was also there the whole time."(Not sure if he said he was standing there or singing behind him) Tattsun: "To be honest, I couldn't produce Ranmaru's voice easily. And so i'd need time to adjust my throat beforehand. Sometimes i got frustrated and was troubled with it alone. And at such times, he'd come closer to me and said "Tatsu-nii, what about doing quartet night songs together?". Among us, Shouta　is the one who's always trying to consider others feelings. At that one time all of us got together, we were troubled with a thing and couldn't come into agreement. At such time, Shouta was the first one to speak up "What about doing this way? Maybe it's going to change for the better!". He was always thinking about our feelings and what to do about it. In that way, he's the one supporting our backs and i think that's what's good about him." After that they talked about how they're going to sing after this with the acoustic band. Tattsun: "We were talking a lot prior to this performance, like how to make it sound better and what to add and improvise." Shoutan: "That's right, we talked a lot about it." Tattsun: "I was thinking of supporting Shouta while he's singing freely with his all, but actually Shouta also adjusts with how i'm singing. It feels like a matchmaking (お見合い)." Shoutan: "It feels like we're sharing same atmosphere!" Tattsun: "It made me feel like, "Ah, so singing with others could be this interesting!" It's really fun. I haven't had chance to sing with someone with such a different type of voices and it feels refreshing. *suddenly bowing?* Thank you so much" Shoutan was off guard because Tattsun just suddenly thanked him and was like "nn?!" xD Tattsun: "So, are we doing it?" Shoutan: "(to the audience suddenly) Do you want to hear us~?" (and of course we said we want to hear it) Shoutan: "They said they want to~" Tattsun: "Why did you start it and answer it yourself?" (Audience laughed xD) Shoutan: "I'm sorry" (Audience screamed "Cute~!") Tattsun: "That part! That's the cute part of you, you know" And i kinda forgot what they said after this.. but not long after they started with title call and the next song started! Day 2 Shoutan: “Good evening~ It’s finally our turn” Tattsun: “No matter how many times we did it, it always feels refreshing to be here (doing MC) with just the two of us” Shoutan: “It does! The previous two’s MC/perf was really heated up” Tattsun: “Right” Both: ”Right~” (audience laughed xD) Tattsun: “First, please introduce yourself” Shoutan: “I’m Mikaze Ai’s best friend, Aoi Shouta!” Tattsun: “I’m the one with privilege to stand closest to Kurosaki Ranmaru, Suzuki Tatsuhisa” Shoutan: “Isn’t it interesting that our introduction changed a bit everytime?” They talked about live-viewing and called out to them Shoutan: *to camera* “How are you guys?” Tattsun: “Everyone at live-viewing places, how are you?” the audiences in the hall went “Fuuu~↑” again Tattsun: “I could hear voices even though it’s supposed to be live-viewing! Amazing!” LOL After that they changed topic into the outfits they wore on acoustic corner Shoutan: “After the first day ended, there was something a lot of people were talking about regarding this acoustic corner. As opposed to our previous gold outfits, in this corner we have a shirt as our outfit. *Tattsun spun to show the audience his outfit*”  Shoutan: “It has Ranmaru’s color on it” Tattsun: “(the red cloth of the lower part of his outfit) I requested this” Shoutan: “For me, i wanted a symbol at Ai’s left chest. The staffs also added Ai’s color on it” (whoever manage to understand the symbolism i love you) Shoutan: “The real topic starts here. The shirt i’m wearing right now is  an oversize shirt. So it has a bit of kare-shirt (It’s a situation when someone is wearing their lovers’ clothes) vibe on it. “ *audience loud screams* xD Tattsun: “Right” Shoutan: “And that’s..” Tattsun: “That’s why you should just say you were staying over in my place” *fangirl squeal* Shoutan: “And there’s the fact that the two of us are doing MC together too.. For a moment i thought 'Eh?! Did i actually stay in Tatsu-nii’s house and borrow his shirt?!'”  Tattsun: “I thought it would look good on you, so you can have it” *embarrassed shoutan* xD Shoutan: “This person right here... Why does he always say this kind of embarrassing lines like it was nothing?! This is embarrassing” (you two so cute stahp) Tattsun: “Could you stop getting ‘seriously’ embarrassed?” xD Shoutan: “Of course i would! *to male audience* Even male would feel the same, right?!”  A male audience answered and tattsun laughed at it Shoutan: “I told you so!” Tattsun: “I could hear your voice (male audience) really clearly! Wait a bit, let me take off my in-ear monitor. (He looks happy to hear them) *male audience cheers*  Tattsun: “This is awesome, i could hear you guys really well! *laughs* Oi, you guys sure have great voices!” (they both look really happy xD) Shoutan: “And obviously, all of you girls, it made your heart throb right?!” *audience cheers* Shoutan: “I told you!” Tattsun: “Wait a bit, why did you put yourself in girls side?!” LOLOL Shoutan: “After standing on many stages of utapri, i feel like i could understand what everyone is thinking about!” Tattsun: “That’s what i told you in the rehearsal wasn’t it?! When i was watching your solo, i told you 'Your girl power(女子力) is increasing even more!'“ Tattsun: “Especially when he was dancing and singing, his body-line definitely doesn’t look like a male!  Shoutan: “Really? *does the same pose as the one on 1st day MC* I ended up doing it like that” Tattsun: “If i’m the one doing it, it looks like a plastic model *does the same pose* So stiff” Shoutan: “But in return you have the coolness of Ranmaru!” Tattsun: “All i could do is being aggresive (オラつくit’s a bit hard to explain)” Shoutan: “That’s Ranmaru!!” After that they talked about flower stand! (btw for some reasons if i go to QN events i always see many cool and artistic flower stands so if you’re curious be sure to look it up) Tattsun: “We wanted to see it by ourselves but it was close to where the audience was waiting so we couldn’t see it. But our managers took a VTR of the flowers for us and we all watched it together. While we were talking about how big and pretty it was suddenly a panel appeared and we were like ‘Eh?! You can create such flower stand?!’” Shoutan: “It was amazing wasn’t it?” Tattsun: “And also, i know it’s a form of love and i probably shouldn’t say an unnecessary comment like this, but there was a flower stand with Ranmaru’s silhouette and an instrument on it. The thing is, that silhouette wasn’t a bass, it was a guitar!!” Shoutan: “A-Ah, the instrument Ranmaru plays is..” Tattsun: “Bass” Shoutan: “And what came was...” Tattsun: “Guitar...” Shoutan: “That was close! So close! B-but it was a silhouette so..” Tattsun: “But.. it was a guitar...” Shoutan: “So close!” Tattsun: “That shape was probably an SG (gibson SG? i’m not sure) guitar..” Shoutan: “You sure know a lot!” xD Tattsun: “*asks a band member* Right?! But i could feel the love and so i think ’It’s okay, a guitar is fine too’” Shoutan: “After all, they made it so pretty!” Tattsun: “Indeed! Among them there were also outfits right? The quality was so high i thought ‘Eh?! Did we wear that outfits?!’” Shoutan: “Eh?! It’s the real thing?!” Tattsun: “Did we give/show the real thing to them?!” xD Shoutan: “Was it leaked somewhere?” Tattsun: “Without realizing it, do they know our three sizes?!” Shoutan: “That’s bad!!” Tattsun: “No way, no way!!! We’re in trouble!” (what are you guys doing LOL) Afterwards they talked about how it represents audience love for the series Tattsun: “It was so amazing it feels like being on an exhibition! Don’t you think we could charge an admission fee for this?” Shoutan: “That’s right!!” xD Tattsun: “A lot of people also sent it directly to certain character and on that part too i could totally feel your affection for them.” Tattsun: “Yesterday, after 1st day ended we had a small after-party with the four of us plus few people. We talked about a lot of things there and there were a lot of talks full of love for the series. We’ll talk about it in depth after the four of us are all here.” Tattsun: “Also, on dressing room lately, doing an impression of QN members has became a trend, right? Shoutan: “We do impression of each other’s characters. It’s before the live so tatsu-nii brought a stereo--  Is this the right word? I’m hopeless when it comes to such thing..  ” Tattsun: “Shouta” Shoutan: “Yes?” Tattsun: “Ba~ka” (in teasing tone asdhjkf what is this, a shoujo manga?) *Audience screams* Shoutan: “ *a bit of sulking tone* He said i’m an idiot..” Tattsun: “That’s called a bluetooth speaker!” Shoutan: “Ah! It’s a speaker!” Tattsun: “Don’t just go and group everything into 'latest model machine’!” Shoutan: “I’m sorry.. -- so he used a speaker to play the setlist of this live inside our dressing room. And then we’ll hum or sing along” Tattsun: “I thought if there’s no sound maybe the atmosphere would be a bit gloomy so i brought a rather big one and played the playlist of the setlist. And when i did that, suddenly we could hear Rei-chan that wasn’t Rei-chan” LOL Shoutan: “You’re right. After that we would hear an addition of one more person, and another one, we would then hear someone who did an impression of ranmaru, and so on...” Shoutan: “But the thing is, when Camus’ part comes..” Both: “All of us would do it” LOL Shoutan: “It was amazing wasn’t it?” Tattsun: “All of us would gather and sang the “kindan no kajitsu~♪ (killer kiss)” Shoutan: “We did it. Not only our own character, but did such to another character of the same group” Tattsun: “We did it” Shoutan: “Ai’s impressions were also amazing” Tattsun: “When doing Ai we would pucker our lips” Shoutan: “That’s right! Actually, i have such a small mouth/lips so when they’re doing it like that i could hear some similarities.. Tomo-nii also did it. That’s what’s trending on our dressing room lately” Tattsun: “When doing an impression of Ranmaru, all of them would sound so hoarse!” Shoutan: “First of all we would strain our voices” Tattsun: “Raise the distortion to the max..” Tattsun: “Do you still remember the first time you voiced Ai?” Shoutan: “I do! At that time i was just started learning how to be a voice actor. With an illustration of Ai right in front of me, I was thinking of how to make him alive. While thinking of such things i would practice over and over again. After spending a lot of time, i finally managed to do that.” Tattsun: “The staffs were really careful about it weren’t they?” Shoutan: “Yes. What about Ranmaru? How was it?” Tattsun: “A bit roughly but at that time I saw all of the utapri series first. And at that time, i thought that there weren’t many people with low tone voices. As a senpai, when i read the script at that time Ranmaru also said so many harsh words. I was thinking of what to do with it and came into conclusion that to make it sounds manly i should do it with low tone. And so it became like that.” Tattsun: “But that time, i didn’t give it much thought and let out the lowest tone i could at that time.” Shoutan: “I see!” Tattsun: “And so when i’m voicing Ranmaru i have to keep my throat wide opened the whole time” Tattsun: “The first time i thought ‘i’ve done it wrong’ was at the singing recording. At that time i realized that i have to practice hard to produce Ranmaru’s voice well. Especially at the very beginning, i have to warm-up my voice well before recording something as Ranmaru. At that time i’d practice “*Ranmaru’s voice* Oi” with my throat wide open.” Shoutan: “And so it becomes Ranmaru” Tattsun: “*points at the area between throat and chin* the shape of my face here would disappear (bc he’s keeping his throat open).  It would turn into a neck of a dinosaur. ” xD Shoutan: “But after going through all of that Ranmaru was born” Tattsun: “That’s right” Shoutan: “A lot of stories were there”

And they announced next song

8. HARUHANA ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE: BEAUTIFUL. I guess this one is easier to imagine in acoustic ver. It sounds really classy~ I must say this arrangement fits this song A LOT! Both of them sang super emotionally ;; Tattsun used softer tones at some parts and shoutan sang some parts more dynamically than others creating an emotional performance;; When this song was released i saw someone said that they voices don't go well with each other, but nah they really need to watch this performance. Their chemistry was heavenly.. their timing, the way their voice overlap and harmonize, even how they put power in their singing, it was a perfection. To be honest, the two of them in this performance probably had the best chemistry i've ever seen in utapri live performances. They shared A LOT of eye contacts! (they were staring at each other like most of the time? lol) They also inserted really pretty adlibs and even harmonize on it. Before last reff they sang it really passionately before suddenly (intentionally) stopped singing for seconds and left a bit of silence. After seconds they start again with really emotional last reff! It was amazing. (Explanation: "Oru youni kasaneatte, koe e to, uta e to~~~ (long notes) Aa *stops for like 3 seconds* yokaze ni fukarete...") Also last reff's "..mune wo sasu kedo ↑" was improvised as the notes went up instead of down. I couldn't say anything other than perfection. I personally like their perf of this song on the first day more than the second day (tho of course it was awesome too) so i kinda hoped utapri would ever release DVD/BD of 1st day of their lives too...

A bit of MC. Tattsun said that because they finally had the chance to sing acoustic they wanted to sing with the four of them and called Morikubo and Maenu!

Day 1 Morikubo said he had two things to say to them Morikubo: "First, the two of us talked about a lot of topics (that Tattsun said they have nothing left to talk) because it took a lot of time for the band to set their instruments on the stage!" xD Maenu: "It can't be helped!" Tattsun: "Talk about of such circumstances when we're on backstage instead of here!" (Audience laughed) Morikubo: "Also second, Tatsu is amazing with his practice and all, but sometimes there's also time when he's only stretching for 2 hours!" LOL ((After this they talked a bit more but i forgot the details, i think my memory went overcapacity starting from here, i'm really sorry //sweats)) They talked about how QN appeared for the first time at 2012. If i remember it right Tattsun also said previous live was only last year (6th) but he felt like it's been longer than that. I didn't remember who brought it up first (Tattsun maybe??) but they then talked about how Shoutan used to provide his singing for the demo/prototype version of utapri songs before the respective seiyuu sing the song! (I think a lot of you knew it already, as people around me already knew abt this too) Shoutan: "You promised you won't talk about this, right?!" xD and they realized they didn't give us enough explanation about what they were talking about and decided to explain. Maenu: "For a period of time, Shouta used to sing for all utapri demo song alone by himself. " Tattsun: "Not to mention, he also sang it the way the character would" Morikubo: "You did STARISH songs and Quartet Night songs right? And what about HEAVENS'? Shoutan: "I also did HEAVENS song!" (Audience and the rest of them were surprised) Tattsun: "That's why, i mean, isn't it a good idea to release those CDs?" Shoutan: "*panicking* No way! No way!" (Audience screamed they want it xD) Shoutan: "It's only good because they (respective char/seiyuus) are the one singing you know! Demo songs are just demo" Tattsun: "Even so, how did you do sing it (the way other characters/seiyuus would)?" Shoutan: "Of course, first i heard each of their CDs. After that i tried thinking of how to sing it so that it's easy to understand who is singing which part. If i sang it all the same way, it'd be hard to understand!" Morikubo: "If that's the case, for example how would you do it if you're doing Ranran's part?" Shoutan: "Wait!! I'd get scolded for this!!" xD (Audience laughed) Tattsun: "You won't!" Morikubo: "Like first, do you need to get your feelings fired up or such? Tell us how you do it! Maybe the audience will have the chance to sing Ranran's part at karaoke or something!" (I kinda forgot this part) Tattsun: "But for some reason, when everyone was imitating Ranmaru's voice, they'll make their voice hoarse. And they'd start saying "I'll kill you!"? Ranmaru didn't even say such thing!" Maenu: "We, and other utapri members (starish seiyuus?) sometimes imitate other character voices on rehearsal and practice." Shoutan: "We did! Also personally same here, when doing Ranmaru's voice i tried to make it sounds threatening (? (LOL xD)) and put my attention on creating more breathy sounds” Morikubo: “Did you hear it guys? Breathy voices!” Shoutan: “But the original singer actually didn’t even do it on purpose right?” Tattsun: “Yes, i’m not aware of it myself” Morikubo: “What about me?! Me?” Shoutan: “With Reiji i’d insert many vocal swings” Morikubo: “Ah, i see!” Shoutan: “Even with Ai there are times i used that kind of singing technique, but after listening to a lot of songs i tried to think of the way i could get the feel with my own voice” Maenu: “What about me?” Morikubo: “With Camus, the first thing is to put in a lot of sugar right?” Shoutan: “Yes xD a lot of sugar cube!” *Tattsun agreing lol* Maenu: “So how did you do it?” Shoutan: “With Camus.. i tried to sing a bit through my nose?” Maenu: “I see! It’s like when Tatsu imitated my voices with bad intentions (LOL) He does it a lot on the dressing room” Tattsun: “Didn’t you do that a lot too?!” Maenu: “We all do! *shoutan and morikubo laughed* Morikubo: “When we all stand side-by-side the ‘let’s imitate other characters tournament’ would just suddenly start!” Tattsun: “Inside the make-up room we were all sitting side by side. At that time the setlist of the concert was playing on the bgm. And then suddenly someone would just start singing a part that isn’t even theirs!” Morikubo: “Didn’t you *points at Maenu* also sing your own part exaggeratedly?!” Tattsun: “He did!!” *shoutan laughed*  Tattsun: “What were you even doing?!” Maenu: “I just thought maybe it would be interesting, i tried to guess how my singing sound for people around me” xD Morikubo: “In the prev live i talked about how singing with the three of you feels so good, right? This time while listening to ourselves in acoustic corner, the existence of Maeno’s solid low notes, Shouta’s clear high notes, and for mid-high notes i’ll be there together with Tatsu’s mid-low notes, make a great balance.” Shoutan: “I thought so too!” Morikubo: “Especially because it’s acoustic you could hear the voices clearly. It felt so nice! What do you guys think of it?” Maenu: “I ag...ree with you *stumbled with his words*” Tattsun: “Which position are you standing on right now?! Also where is your glasses (camus’ glasses) ?!” Maenu: “I took that off” Shoutan: “You took that off!” Maenu: “It’s a coincidence but our voices balance out each other extremely well. They’re so compatible with each other. It’s such a wonder.” Morikubo: “What do you guys think of it? (audience)” *audience claps* Morikubo: “Today is the Culture Day (a holiday in Japan) but we’re able to be here. Why don’t all of you start your own QUARTET NIGHT with 4 people around you right now? (xD LOL)”  Tattsun: “Live-viewing too!” And they show themselves on camera for people in live-viewing! Tattsun: “It’s QUARTET NIGHT~~~~” (his tone was so cute xD karunai dayo~) Tattsun: So, a lot of QUARTET NIGHTs would be born from among the whole country today? (LOL)

Morikubo: “Let’s sing together shall we?” They talked about the outfit a bit before getting into the next song

Day 2 After the performance Tattsun said that it was really fun and called for the other two. Morikubo&Maenu: “It was a great performance!” Morikubo: “I could listen to your (haruhana duo) talk and performance forever” Tattsun and shoutan laughed Shoutan: “Really?!” Morikubo: “I mean it. But Shouta, how could you mistook a speaker for a stereo?!” Maenu: “But i think Tatsuhisa who mistook a video for a VTR (video tape recorder) is also more or less the same” Morikubo: “What has gotten into you?! a VTR?!” *to tattsun* Tattsun: “EH?!” LOL Shoutan: ”I sure made a grave mistake..” Tattsun: “At least i didn’t say something like ‘a beta’ (betamax)” Morikubo asked the audience about the acoustic corner Morikubo: “It felt really good” Shoutan: “It was fun!” Maenu: “It was!” Tattsun: “During today’s rehearsal showtaro-san also talked about this but I feel like we could make a lot more stuffs with this corner” Morikubo: “Like for example, an acoustic live or something” (OMG YES PLS) *Audience cheers* Maenu: “It’ll be great” Tattsun: “For example wouldn’t it be nice if we do it with night sky in the background?” Morikubo: “Our dream keeps on getting even bigger” Tattsun: “We keep on saying this kind of thing, i’m sorry!” (about what they want to do in the future onstage without consulting to staffs xD) Morikubo: “I think it’s important to have a specific dream!” Maenu: “It’s also important to say it out loud” Morikubo: “That’s right, let’s keep on saying it. Right, everyone?” a bit of short silence Morikubo: “You’re not going to say it?!” LOL Everyone laughs Maenu: “It’ll be nice if it becomes true in the future!” Morikubo: “When the two of you were talking I could hear the voice of ‘my boy’ (male audience) so clearly! Let us hear it again, ‘my boy’!!” *male audience cheers* Maenu: “Oh! It’s amazing!” Morikubo: “*to a male audience* Thank you! It makes me happy!” *male audience cheers*  Tattsun: You guys sure have great voices! I’m so happy!” (he looks super happy xD) Morikubo: “What about in the live-viewing?” Tattsun& Maenu: “My boy?” Morikubo: “My boy!” Morikubo: *to the camera* “My boy in the live viewing~!!” *Male audience in the hall cheers xD* Shoutan: “There must be some of them!” Maenu: “I could hear them!” Tattsun: “That true, even though it’s live-viewing i could hear their voices!” LOL Maenu: “It reached us! Words filled with feelings definitely gets across, doesn’t it? xD Morikubo: “Right, it’s amazing. We’re so grateful that a lot of people from the whole country came to see us. Thank you very much” Morikubo: “This time it’s a 2 days concert. What do you think of it?” Tattsun: “Yesterday i felt extremely nervous.. I was full of momentary nervousness, but as i talked on previous MC the four of us had an after-party, didn’t we? It seems like i was really happy. The moment i woke up today all i could think of was about that!” Morikubo: “Actually, it seems like the four of us were really happy about it” *the four of them laughs* Morikubo: “We’re surprised about it ourselves. But it seems like the four of us put our arms around each other's shoulders and walk back to the hotel on that position!” (o mg cute) Shoutan: “It’s a real story!” Maenu: “We were all pretty drunk” Tattsun: “To reach the hotel there was a bit of distance so we decided to just walk to the hotel. The four of us keep on putting arms around each other during our walk back to the hotel! “ Shoutan:“That’s true!” Maenu: “Our managers happened to be on the lobby of the hotel and took a picture of us!” Tattsun: “They were like, ‘what are you guys doing? It’s funny so can i take a picture?’  and took a picture of it! Morikubo: “It was so fun!” Tattsun: “It was a blast! We talked about a lot of things” Morikubo: “We were able to feel this feeling thanks to the group named QUARTET NIGHT. So, Shouta, how was it?” Shoutan: “Even though yesterday was only the first day, I already felt like tearing up many times on the stage.. I tried my best to endure it”  Tattsun: “It’s okay to cry though” Shoutan: “And this person would say something like that!! Near the end when i was about to tear up he would come and say “Oh? Oh? Are you about to cry?” (he’s like provoking shoutan to cry xD) and i’d say “That’s not true!” ”  Tattsun: “That’s okay Shouta~ if you cry I’ll pat your head”   (asdahkf) Shoutan: “But in truth, *points at maenu* tomo-nii was also about to cry in certain song!” Maenu: “A sweat, i was just sweating a lot!” Tattsun: *points at maenu “This guy right there, all he could do it say stuffs like that till he actually breaks into tear!” Maenu:“It was just a sweat!” Shoutan: “Something like that happened! Everytime i stand on this stage, i could feel all of your feelings directly. It directly reached my heart. I’m sure, it also reaches the four of them (chars) directly too.” Morikubo: “It’s our second solo live, so to surpass our previous live, we thought a lot about what our stage is supposed to be. For example the acoustic corner. After this too, we have a lot in store to show all of you here in Kobe. Please look forward to it!” Tattsun: “Among us, Maeno is the most passionate about QN, isn’t he?” Maenu: “That’s not true, all of us are equally passionate about it!” Tattsun: “Of course, we’re all passionate about it! But in terms of concentrating himself to the characters, i feel like he inspires us the most.” Maenu: “That’s not true!” Morikubo: “That’s true, whenever i see him he’s always practicing!” Shoutan: “Exactly! Everytime i’d see him practicing on the corner of the room” Tattsun: “So, how’s this concert for you?” Maenu: “Just as always, while looking forward to it i hope i could leave good memories in the history of QN’s journey. Every moment is so precious and dear to me, it happened to me during 6th live too, but that’s why when the show ended and i have to take off the sparkly and beautiful outfits, i would feel so sad. But of course, if there’s a beginning eventually there will come an end too, so i want to create a lot of memories with all of you before it ends. “ Maenu: “But really, the moment four of us are all here together, i always feel so at ease. It just feels like we’re unbeatable. It’s so addicting.” Morikubo: “That’s true.” Tattsun: “I agree” Shoutan: “When we’re practicing there are a lot of formations. In most of them, we’re supposed to stand a bit apart from each other, but when we started to talk with each other without even realizing it we’d suddenly stand so close to each other!” Tattsun: “Without even realizing it!” Morikubo: “in the previous live something like that happened too wasn’t it? Even though the stage was big, suddenly we all were already in the middle of the stage standing so close to each other! We’re supposed to use the wide stage!” Maenu: “I mean, don’t you think it’s already unusual for four fully-grown adults to walk back to hotel with their arms on each other’s shoulder?!” xD Tattsun: “And the thing is, aside from QUARTET NIGHT we actually always go on our separate ways, right?” Maenu: “That’s true! Even if we meet on another works we’ll just say greetings and go our separate ways!” Tattsun: “Actually this time, the day before the concert, i heard that we could do rehearsal on the hall and i was on the same bullet train with Maeno. I met him in the station of Tokyo. We exchanged “Good morning” and just went our separate ways just like that!” Shoutan: ”Eh?! Really?!” Morikubo: “You didn’t come together?!” Tattsun: “We just exchanged good morning. It’s not like i had any reason to go together with him.” (The way he said it was a bit funny xD a bit tsun) Maenu: “That’s right! I was buying something in the convenience store and Tatsu came in when i was about to quit the store. So it was like ‘Oh so you’re going to buy something here, i see. See you later!’ “ Tattsun: “And so i replied ‘Yeah, i’m going in. Later!’ and went to opposite direction“ Maenu:“But the moment we met up on the rehearsal we would start saying things like ‘Let’s do this part!’ to each other.” Shoutan: “That’s very like Ranmaru and Camus!” *audience laughed xD* Morikubo: “You’re right! That’s exactly the same!” Shoutan:“Exact same!” Morikubo: “The two-shots of these two is interesting so let us see it! *goes away from the other two and gets closer to shoutan* Yesterday when we were eating together it was like that too. They were like Ranran and myuu-chan” Maenu: “But at the group line Shouta also enthusiastically does stuffs like that!” (acting like characters) Tattsun: “He said stuffs like that!” Maenu: “He’d say stuffs like ‘I won’t forgive you if you’re late!’”  Shoutan: “We uploaded a photo of our hands and mics, didn’t we?” Tattsun: ”We actually created a diamond on that photo” (the more you know) Shoutan:”We’re a group so it’d be better to upload it on the same time. Showtaro-niisan suggested that we all upload it on 21:00. Tatsu-nii edited the photo for us. After he sent it to us, tomo-nii replied with “Can’t be helped, i’ll use it” (like camus xD)”  Morikubo:”Then our whole in-char conversations started!” Maenu:”*points at tattsun* He replied with “You’re not being honest” Tattsun: ”That’s normal thing to say, right?! If you’re going to use it you could just say thanks, right?!” Shoutan:“And they i’d reply with “*Ai’s voice* They’re at it again” and added *back to usual shoutan* let’s do it on 21:00″  Tattsun: “We sure talk in our characters personality don’t we? Shoutan:”We do!” Morikubo:”Speaking of LINE, we actually have an utapri all cast group line and yesterday all of the STARISH members gave us encouraging messages.” Tattsun: ”It made me really happy!” Morikubo:”All of them did!” Tattsun: ”We’re standing here right now as QUARTET NIGHT, but we want to treasure the fact that it’s STARISH who opened the path for us. So it makes me really happy! I feel like that it fired us up even more, it made us stronger” Morikubo then said that they’re going to sing the next song and he suddenly told tattsun and maenu to stand beside each other to which maenu replied with “It’s not like we’re close with each other or anything!” xD and they started with next song

9. Marriage

Because it was acoustic arrangement there weren't any background vocals so instead they sang all of the english background vocals live too (ex: "under the starlight~ let's find our love part" etc) and it was really pretty! ;; if i remember well it's mostly shoutan for higher octave (i thought i heard female voice LOLOL) and switched between maenu/morikubo/tattsun for lower parts! Tbh listening to the reff reminded me how much maenu has improved with his singing/harmonies. It sounded really pleasant. On the middle of the song they introduced band members (i think it was percussion, violin, guitar, bass and keyboard??) while they were sitting on the front stage floor xD it was cute!!

Questions VTR. Seiyuus were asked some questions about their characters (impression, stuffs they like about them, etc) Maenu joked a lot, (or stuffs he said were just purely funny lol) shoutan too! In general it was really funny! But it was pretty long and fast so i didn’t manage to remember/take note of most of them, i’m sorry!;; Stuffs written here are not in order and is more or less just the gist of it. They didn’t show each of their full interview as one but instead cut their sentences halfway, switch to another person and so on so it was a bit hard to remember their full answer but here are the questions:

Was there something you couldn’t understand from your character?

Morikubo→ “Thank you very very Macho-cho “ LOL Tattsun→ How harsh he was toward ppl around him Shouta→ He sleeps on siting position LOL Maenu→ He puts way too much sugar on his drink (Saw that coming xD)

Which part do you like from your character from the very beginning?

Morikubo→ As a moodmaker, he actually could read the atmosphere well Tattsun→ He’s extremely straightforward and devoted (abt his work/in general?) Never compromise (to aim for better thing) Shouta→He’s like a cute younger brother. His voice is beautiful LOLOL Maenu→ His “strong heart”. He’s not afraid of being hated and says stuffs the way he think it is. 

What was your first impression of your character?

Morikubo→ Bright but hard to figure out (his inner thoughts etc) Tattsun→ Scary Shouta→ Difficult to deal with Maenu→ Full of dignity

When did you feel like you’ve become best friend with your character?

Morikubo→ The moment  “Yoroshiku Macho-cho “ was born  Tattsun→ The moment some parts of Ranmaru he didn’t know started to appear, when he felt grateful for the chance to learn more about Ranmaru Shouta→ The moment he learned that Ai is not a human being Maenu→ The moment he woke up and mistook Jan 23 (Camus’ birthday) as his own birthday

Is there something you still can’t understand about your character?

Morikubo→ Wonder how did Reiji become such a “strong” person Tattsun→ “Aside from his honest and serious personality he also cooks well, is kind to animals, Isn’t his ‘spec’ too high?!” He said he couldn’t forgive Ranmaru for being too ‘high-spec’ xD Shouta→ He still sleeps in sitting position (He talked about how sleeping on bed def works better to recover yourself many times LOL) Maenu→ When he drinks something he put in a lot of sugar

What is something you like from your character now?

Morikubo→ (not sure i’m sorry;;) He pushed himself to limits for members Tattsun→ Everything (Aaaaaa) Shouta→ Became a lot softer. Understands his own position well Maenu→ He doesn’t try to flatter others/sugarcoat things

Is there a (bad) thing you want your character to fix/improve?

Morikubo→ He’s strong but he should stop keeping his feelings bottled up inside and relax more Tattsun→ He should stop wearing different color contact lenses for both eyes LOL Stop depending on color lenses Shouta→ Stay the way he is Maenu→ He’s drinking way too much sugar for his health

Is there anything you hope for your characters?

Morikubo→ There must still be a lot of Reiji’s side we’re not aware of so he should show us more sides/charms of him Tattsun→ Stay just the way he is Shouta→ Ai might be a robot but he should meet a lot people, move forward with his comrade, treasure each of the moment of his life Maenu→ He believes Camus could make the impossible possible so he wants to see him fly in the sky LOL

What should you/character do to achieve higher heights?

Morikubo→ Not only about what about to happen in the future, for now they should look at what is right in front of them. Tattsun→ They should clash more, and at the same time also try to understand each other, tolerate each other more. Shouta→ They should sing more variety of songs Maenu→ They might not in ‘that’ good term with each other, but in return those colliding powers are creating an even stronger power. By that, they boost each other up and that’s the kind of group QN is. They should keep going they way they are.

If you were to describe your character in a word, what would it be?

Morikubo→ Wedge Tattsun→ Flame Shouta→ Love (Ai) Maenu→ Ice  

All: “That’s.. QUARTET NIGHT” And next song started! Outfit change, white pants, white and their respective colors? a bit casual, design is different for each of them! 

10. The dice are cast Powerful singing, as we already knew! The choreography looked like 5th and QN 1st solo con? They moved around the area and stopped when all of the carts became one in the middle of arena seats. I also noticed that tattsun's part of the adlibs on the bridge was a bit different (improvisation with higher notes and i think i heard him doing it in both days)

11. STARLIGHT MEMORY I PERSONALLY LOVE THIS SONG so i was really hyped up for it! They sang while still on the cart and like on QN 1st solo con they used stand-mic for the choreography. It was really heated up, the "Just say Quartet Night!" parts were also sang by the audience and our voices were LOUD! It was fun!

12. Evolution Eve The first acapella sounded as heavenly as what i've heard in previous lives! ;;_;; Also the first acapella which was supposed to be lines without harmony for some reasons was harmonized? pretty sure it was tattsun with higher harmony! The instrumental break dance part we already knew from previous lives were changed, i'm pretty sure it wasn't the same. The previous one was good but this one was even better! I remember morikubo doing a really smooth turn. Proud of their improvements!

13. Double Face *Camus butler mode voice* "Let me show you my everything" *Camus usual mode voice* "You peasant! Fine, i'll do it according to your wish. Witness my 'love'!" Suddenly Maenu appeared with this song! I wasn't expecting this at all but it was a good surprise! Two dancers in white and black (like in QN 1st solo con) were present and maenu was also singing on a stand-mic. It was really similar to QN 1st solo con performance. As usual his voice change was amazing! In first day, it was clear that maybe the fast voice change made him a bit confused sometimes tho xD it was cute.. In 2nd day he did super great tho! One of my favorite thing about watching over QN seiyuus’ growth is watching Maenu getting more confident and glowing each live ♡ 

14. Synchronism Shoutan appeared on front stage with dancers. Apparently his outfit this time had animal ears (i'm not sure is it cat? or not..) fur hoodie and he had his hoodie up! It was extremely cute!! The dance was similar to 6th, but i think there were additional moves? Also if 6th live performance wasn't cute enough this one was even cuter it was illegal //no On 2nd day he also made a lot of different expressions from the one in 1st day during dance break (you probs know which one if you watched 6th live) As expected from shoutan, lot of fanservices were given! In 2nd day last reff "Amaku shite~" part he gave us a thrown kiss too! lol Been thinking about it for a while but it’s actually amazing how stable he was even at extremely low notes.

15. Not bad Tattsun and dancers came from main stage! He danced most of the time and both his dances and singing were amazing and powerful! ;; Also i'm really sure some parts of the dance moves changed entirely, for example the reff's "yoku kike yo, nidoto wa iwanai ze" part? It was such a passionate performance and i have no words except it was SUPER COOL ;;_;; There was also fire burst (?) stage effect and it was cool! He walked from the main stage to front stage! Instead of singing it, the music suddenly stopped and he said the "Ore ni *a bit pause* tsuite koi (follow.. me)" as a serifu

16. NEVER Morikubo appeared with his hat and he threw it away xD I think he improved a lot with his dancing compared to previous performances of this song! The choreography looked similar to the one on 5th live with some additions? I really love the part where monitor behind him turned into a big green　→　rainbow ferris wheel! ;; I personally really love Never's Reiji and the performance was wonderful ;; On the quiet part he usually went with falsetto on "honki to iu na no imi ga tsumatteru" but this time he went full power on that part! He also inserted a bit of adlibs after that and it was pleasant

17. Non-fiction Main stage was engulfed in red light and non-fiction intro was played, people around me went wild xD Tattsun and Maenu appeared sitting on a (what seemed to be) luxurious sofa while singing! It's interesting how the way they sit reflected their character personalities lol (Maenu legs crossed? and tattsun had his right leg up on the sofa) lol Maenu had his camus glasses on. They also danced a lot on instrumental parts and did some poses/combination dance(?) together! I love how they were posing with the sofa (for example if one of them sit the other stand behind the sofa etc) and also posed together (ex maenu put his hand on tattsun's back etc). Tattsun "Aaaa ↑" high notes part (you know which one) sounds amazing on live, it was powerful and on point. They also danced a lot on front stage. All in one it was GREAT and i’m pretty sure a lot of you would like this performance a lot

18. Fiction Started with pretty adlibs. As opposed to Non-fiction, It was an emotional and melancholic performance. Their harmonies were really pretty and their singing were great/emotional too! They weren't doing many moves, instead at some parts it feels much like drama posing (There were still kinda melancholic choreography at instru break). It somehow had really sad vibe ;; Shoutan was a great actor, they posed like stageplay at some parts. For example shoutan (ai) was looking at morikubo (reiji) but shook his head and decided to turn back, or morikubo staring at shoutan from afar, etc. At one part they had their hands up and joint their hands, but shoutan/ai let go of his hand and went away ;; At the end they stared at each other and shoutan/ai walked away from the stage first (from the middle of main stage) and morikubo/reiji followed after. The outro was still playing, with only falling petals (2nd day correction i think it was white feathers?) being lighted-up. I kinda teared up during this performance

All: "Fiction or non-fiction"

19. KIZUNA As usual, the harmonies of this song were really pretty. They also sit on main stage stairs and pose like car-scene on the anime (like they did on QN 1st solo con) with morikubo acting like he's driving the car. The whole thing felt similar to QN 1st solo con, it was amazing nonetheless. Last slow part never fails to make my eyes teary ;; I MEAN who doesn’t.. they also did the last part where they pointed at the characters on screen. 

20. QUARTET★NIGHT I ACTUALLY WASN'T EXPECTING THIS TO COME HERE LOL but i love this song with passion bc it's the start of QN so i was really hyped for it! The choreo was also similar to QN 1st solo con. I personally think their 3rd live (aka 1st appearance as QN ever) of this song was unrivaled, but this performance was probably even better than that! It was easy to see how much they improved and i was extremely happy. Their vocals gave me chills and it also reminded me of when i first came to like QN, it was amazing.

Morikubo/Reiji told us it's his DJ time (wasn't really DJ-ing like prev live tho) and introduced dancers as the rest of them sit on the main stage stairs. They took turn to introduce the dancers. Reiji→Ranmaru→Ai→Camus

Tattsun (in Ranmaru’s voice) told us it's last song after this

21. FLY TO THE FUTURE I knew it LOL I guessed this song would be the last song after encore and i was right! When i first heard this song i was amazed at how QN managed to even surpass their previous harmonization with this song. The live version was amazing, their harmonies were heavenly. It was perfectly done, i can't help but crying halfway... They also danced quite a lot on this song. There was LONG (like 10 secs?) pause before the serifu "Arigato, soshite kore kara mo" (last reff after "nakeru hodo waite~").  Basically they sang That part was really emotional. It's also fun to do "Fly to the future~" call with other audience. It was easily one of my favorite QN performances of all time.

Encore “QUARTET NIGHT!!” calls started. I think i LOVE the Kobe World Hall they're using this time. It's not as small as previous QN solo con (to the point that the "Quartet Night" call wasn't really that loud bc there weren't that many people to begin with) but it's also not too big to manage a perfectly synced encore call. It's probs one of the most synced encore i've heard in my life (in BOTH days). Actually, i was really moved by how amazing the audiences were this time around. Super interactive and cooperative. The acoustic of the hall was amazing, both voices and instru were easy to listen to and sound crystal-clear. It’s easily one of my favorite concert hall ever.

22. Force Live They danced the choreography from the MV (except maybe the kick thing at the beginning lol) This song sounded great without autotune btw LOL i have to say QN sounds great on their own so they sound a lot better without autotune live. There isn't much to say except both of their dancing and singing were awesome! Morikubo also did front kick on 2nd verse if i remember it right! It was really cool watching the MV on the screen behind while looking at their performance/dance. You could see how much effort they spent to perfect their performances.

MC Announcement→ Renewal of utapri movie website Day 1 by Camus Day 2 by Ai (+DVD/BD announcement of the concert) Day 1 Maenu: “I’m the one trusted to voice Camus, Maeno Tomoaki. I’m sure all of you managed to feel the characters through our performances, so i’m not going to talk a lot this time. It’s been a year and half since the first solo live. At that time, i talked about how i was the only one without any singing career among us and how i felt about it. I felt like i had nothing at the beginning. Of course, i still feel it now even if it’s just a bit. But now that i look back at it, maybe i was able to bring something new to the group precisely because i had nothing. And i was able to do it thanks to the other members, all of your support and the utapri staffs. Thank you very much. As for me, i’ll keep on chasing after Camus’ back. If i have the chance again in the future, i’ll do my best to perform as Camus onstage. So, from now on please keep on supporting STARISH, QUARTET NIGHT and HEAVENS. Thank you for coming today!”

Shoutan: “I’m the C.V of Mikaze Ai, Aoi Shouta. Whenever this time (last MC) comes I somehow could never put my thoughts together well.. This time, we got to sing a lot of new songs. Among them are the newest Fiction and Non-Fiction. The recording was a bit painful and i got to feel a lot of different feelings. Up till now I always felt like i just couldn’t catch up to Ai and it gave me chance to think a lot about myself.  Their time (chars), and of course our time will never stop moving forward and will pass. I hope Quartet night could be the group to keep on challenging themselves. I really love all of the members/my comrades. Being able to stand on this stage always makes me rethink about a lot of things. With these feelings, I want to be able to find more “possibilities” and take it to the future. I’m really grateful to be able to stand here. Please keep on supporting utapri!”

Tattsun: “I’m the one standing closest to Kurosaki Ranmaru, Suzuki Tatsuhisa. I had a lot of things i wanted to say. During the rehearsal, when i was practicing with the members of QUARTET NIGHT, i felt something. At that time what crossed my mind was ‘Ah, today i feel “scared”. My heart was racing, and it reminded me of the first time i became Ranmaru. ((Stuffs i couldn’t remember after adjalksjf i’m really sorry;; I think he said about how he was not sure if it’s alright for him to stand as Ranmaru onstage and also made a joke about it but i just can’t remember what was it ;;)) But the ‘idol’ Ranmaru is, without me even realizing it, has already moved so much away in front of me. The Ranmaru inside me keeps on telling me “I should do it like this” and thanks to that i caused a lot of troubles (bc he keeps on being idealistic), practice a lot. I would imagine how all of you would react and feel, and to be honest right now I’m extremely anxious. When i stand as QUARTET NIGHT, i could hear all of your supports directly, and seeing your happy expressions i’m just glad i could be here. Everytime, i’d think about how i just purely love all about this series. I love all of my comrades (starish+heavens too?), there’s no one i dislike, I respect all of them from the bottom of my heart. I love each of them. And so that those words won’t turn into lies, I hope that all of the people watching this, be it here or on live-viewing could feel it through my performances today. That’s the only thing i have on my head right now. I’m really happy i could stand as Kurosaki Ranmaru. It’s all thanks to the staffs, utapri casts, all of you who come today, a lot of others who couldn’t come today, STARISH who opened the path for us. I couldn’t thank all of you enough. Thank you!”

Morikubo : ”To all of you who take us to the world we could never imagine before, to QUARTET NIGHT who gave us the chance to spend this time, thank you very much. (the topic mentioned in prev MCs) It’s true that we’re the one standing closest to our characters. But we’re standing ‘behind’ the characters, the one standing besides them is all of you. You’ll be the one guiding our characters, and so that the four of us could also move forward. This time we’re blessed with a chance to do a 2nd solo live, so of course I intended to do my very best! Experiencing a lot of things, in previous solo live the word “payback” naturally became our theme. And after that we got the chance to stand on 6th live with HEAVENS also joining us. I was happy at that time for the fact that at that time we had ‘future’ performances waiting for us. The words “evolution” “thanks” “kizuna/bonds” of course are still naturally here with us, and we’re about to see what’s going to be the next theme. Did you manage to feel something through us? Thank you. From the day of last solo live up till today, i’m sure QUARTET NIGHT was the one taking all of us to the future we have today. From now on, please keep on standing by your favorite characters! Please create a future for us! We’ll be following from behind. Let’s enjoy it just like that! As long as we have your love and feelings, we’ll keep on advancing. I hope to see you again if the chance comes. I’d be looking forward the day when we could dance, sing, along with STARISH and HEAVENS in front of you again. To all of you on the hall, live-viewing, thank you very much!!”

Morikubo : “Sooo~~ what do we do now? *laughs* Let’s drink the water shall we?” And they drank the water onstage xD love how the audience let out a big reaction and they were like we’re only drinking water here xD After that they had a short MC connecting to the next song

Day 2 Morikubo: “And n-now, for the e-end *stumbled with his words many times*  let each of us say our last messages! (him stumbling) It’s my body showing you all my feelings or not wanting it to end!” xD Shoutan: “I can feel it!” Morikubo: “Let us begin with Maeno!” Maenu: “*in camus voice* I refuse!” (audience screams) Shoutan: “So he feels sad!” xD Morikubo: “That’s a convenient word!” Maenu: “*in camus voice* Well, sure i’ll do it. Wait a bit" "closes his eyes for a while and opens it* Maenu: *back to normal “ I’m the one trusted to voice Camus, Maeno Tomoaki. Since October started and we started our rehearsal, almost every night i saw a dream of yesterday and today concerts. Expectations, anxiety, pressure, i’m sure i saw those dreams due to a lot of feelings. And now, to see all of you here, people on the live viewing, spending time together, it all feels like a dream. I’m sure even tomorrow and the day after, i’ll see it on my dreams. As a part of QUARTET NIGHT, i think i managed to create many great memories here. On previous live, our theme was to do “payback” to starish, to utapri and to all of us. And this time too, we talked a lot and decided on a theme but our journey of ‘payback’ will never stop as long as utapri still exists. With that as the foundation, so that a “ final destination” will never come to the future of QUARTET NIGHT, it’s a journey that will never ends. I’ll do my very best so that i could see the back of Camus who’s standing so far in front of me. From now on, please keep on supporting STARISH, HEAVENS, QUARTET NIGHT and utapri. Thank you so much for coming today.”

Shoutan: “This moment finally comes once again.. (audience says ganbare) Thank you! I’m the C.V of Mikaze Ai, Aoi Shouta. Did you have fun? While doing my very best to sing in front of all of you, i keep on thinking about what to say here. I had a lot of things i wanted to say, but whenever this moment comes I can’t put my feelings together.. That’s just how big it is. After the first day ended, we had a little after-party. At that time we talked about how there’s still today. There was still a future called “tomorrow” for us. I’m standing here today with the hope of creating beautiful memories together with all of you here, people on live-viewing and with all of the staffs. With starish opening the path, the four of us then joined in the middle of the story. To be honest, as a member of QUARTET NIGHT, i’d be lying if i say i didn’t feel inferior to others. But the fact that i could stand here right now and be with all of the people who love utapri, like starish and heavens, makes me feel that i’m actually spending the time together with everyone. To stand as a proud member of QUARTET NIGHT, to be someone who supports the utapri series which i really love from the bottom of my heart, that’s what i want Ai to become. That’s why, from now on as a part of QUARTET NIGHT, as Mikaze Ai, i’ll do my very best to liven utapri up. I hope to spend good time with all of you. I’m still no good, but thank you for always being here. From now on, let us love uta no prince-sama together. Thank you very much.” Morikubo: “You’re getting a lot better on giving comments. I talked about that with Maeno on the underground backstage when we were listening to your MC at acoustic corner” And suddenly Shoutan teared up ;;; morikubo then followed him up Morikubo: “Is that some kind of malfunction?” (ref to Ai’s identity) (Audience laughs)

Tattsun : “I play the role of Kurosaki Ranmaru, Suzuki Tatsuhisa. I keep on thinking of what to say. This time, i felt anxious too. Yesterday Showtaro-san said a really good thing. The four of us are standing behind the characters, and the one standing besides them is all of you. I thought it was a really good words. I’m always chasing after him. He runs very fast, you know (audience laughs). He keeps on doing his best and moving forward. He’ll say “I want to do something like this!” “I want to do this kind of performance!” “I’m still nowhere my limit!” and will run even faster. I can’t help but think that “He’s too fast”, and everytime i have the chance to stand on this stage I always feel like it’s way too much for me. For me, objectively speaking as part of the audience, Utapri’s live is so fun. I always get overexcited like an idiot on the backstage. Humming the melodies of the songs. But i wonder if it’s okay for someone like that to stand here. It’s not like that i have something beautiful to show to all of you. But even so, i decided to at least do the very best i could. So that, i can proudly tell him that I’ve done everything i could. So that i could tell him I managed to let out everything he has to show. I’m standing here now so that i could say all of those words. I sincerely hope my thoughts could reach you even if it’s just a bit. The only thing i could do is to give him a voice and to push him forward. With my singing, i can move forward together with him. But the one who could take him further ahead, is all of you. You’re the one who makes it “amazing”. Isn’t it the best? Nothing but the best isn’t it? I really love utapri that gives me the chance to do so. I love STARISH, I love QUARTET NIGHT, and I love HEAVENS. I love everything about it. I could love all of the characters. I just love it so much. From now on there might be both positive comments and criticism. Bring it on! I’ll shoulder everything and stand behind the mic, be it onstage or not, as Kurosaki Ranmaru. No matter what it is, i’ll shoulder it all. I believe it’s all because of something carved deep inside of my heart. That’s why i’ll keep on moving forward just like that. To the future! Thank you so much for today!”

Morikubo: “Did you have fun? And live viewing?” Morikubo: “Just like the other three, i have many things i want to say. I came up with the words after listening to Tatsu’s “I’m the one standing closest to Ranmaru” yesterday. But it feels a bit off if i say ‘beside’ them, because each of us are standing behind quartet night. The one should be beside them is all of you.  Please take them to the future, and so the four of us will also follow, that’s what i said yesterday. And such feeling is getting stronger today. Just as what maeno said, we talked about how we should stand on the stage today. A keyword, our share motive. Up till now, it naturally came to us. For example on the previous live it naturally came to us on our LINE group chat. We then just naturally agreed on it. And having a keyword/theme managed to bring us together as a group. “If the four of us are together we feel at ease” we talked earlier was also something like that. This time, actually until the day before, we had no such keyword. But that’s actually something to be grateful about. In the past there were a lot of things, a lot of stories and hardships that built up and naturally provided us with a keyword. But this time, when we realized it we have nothing like that. That means we’re just purely advancing towards the live. Rather than something like “Let’s beat something!”,  it was purely “Let’s do the live!” kind of feeling. But in return, then it was hard to come up with a keyword. We were wondering if we should have one. The day before the live, this time too, Tatsuhisa started asking about it. I came up and say something like “Do you have a bit of time? Why don’t we gather and talk about it? It won’t take long” on our group LINE. Because the next day we have to wake up early, Maeno was about to stop us but suddenly he got no signal and it was unsent!” Maenu: “He said something like that on 12 pm when the day was about to change and we were all tired after practice!” Tattsun: “It can’t be helped! It crossed my mind when doing the rehearsal!!” Maenu: “So i was about to send a message about how we should just talk about it the day after, but suddenly i had no signal and it was unsent! Afterwards, the others were ready to do it so i have no choice but to erase that message.” Tattsun: “So that’s why! I thought it was rare for you to say nothing” Maenu: “And so in the end.. *gets it back to Morikubo*” Morikubo: “We ended up talking about a lot of things. Looking back at stuffs we’ve done in the past, and a lot more. And so a keyword was born. I won’t say it here. It’s the best to feel it through our performance. But there was talk about DVD just now, so maybe~ they will have a commentary video or something right? I’m not sure, i haven’t heard anything about it! But we stood onstage with that keyword on mind. I’ll be happy if each of you could feel it through our performances. And if someday the chance comes, we’ll talk about it there and not right now. This time we’ve done everything, the best of the best we could’ve done. We’re doing our best to chase after QUARTET NIGHT. If they move forward, we’ll do so too. We believe that all of you will take them even further. But Maeno, Aoi, Suzuki and Morikubo who are standing here right now, had done everything we could possible do. If you’re okay with us, if you’re okay with this kind of atmosphere and performance, the four of us will be more than happy to stand on the stage again! We’re serious about them. I’m sorry, but even if you try and search through the whole world, you won’t find someone who is as serious as we are toward them. Please believe in us for that matter! Please take them to the future. Will you show us the future?” (audience cheers) Morikubo: “Thank you! Thank you very much for today!” They then talked about how it’s not like them to be emotional. But then no one continued the convo bc they don’t want it to end and Morikubo was like ??!? Morikubo: “I understand that feeling! But! I’m not going to take up that offer again! I’ve became an adult” (He meant the scene on 1st live when they talked about not wanting it to end and he lay his body on the floor and sulked xD) And they finally got it into next song

23. GOD'S S.T.A.R The serifu at the beginning completely changed! *u* This song was so fun to do!!! The call and response was extremely fun and the hall was fully heated up by this song. It's probs hard to get the hype of this song if you haven't experienced this song live and only see this song on videos. BUT THIS IS the song that got the audience fired up/hyped more than any other song. The choreography was similar to QN 1st live and 6th live. I remember Maenu went down on his knees at some point at the reff and people around me went crazy over it!

Double encore I had feeling there would be double encore considering the amount of song they did plus they weren't changing into encore T-shirt on 1st encore. This time they had live t-shirt, Maenu wore camus prince parka on top of it. Day 1 Morikubo:  “This is the first time we had double encore right? *audience cheers*  Let’s go to the last song, the one that will unite all of us together. Let us begin!” *silent of other members xD* Morikubo: “Mmm?! We’re not starting?! You three had that kind of faces (of not wanting to start next song)” Tattsun: “If it’s possible i just want to get closer to everyone/audience”| Morikubo: “And now you’re saying something like that again~ Let’s do it shall we?” Day2 Morikubo: “Thank you for the double encore! I was worried all of you would just return home after that..” Morikubo: “It seems like we’re allowed to sing one more song!” Shoutan: “Yaay!” Tattsun: “There’s still that one song we haven’t sung, isn’t it?” Morikubo: “Let us sing that song! But please remember that when it comes to our feelings, we’re actually super ready to do another day or two!” Tattsun: “If it 's possible, to be honest i really want to do it” Morikubo: “We keep on talking about stuffs like that! But those feelings, please use that feelings to create a path to future!” And they started with the next song ;;

24. You're my life It seems like we need this song to end every QN solo con and i’m totally not complaining! They went around the hall with carts and the whole performance was similar with QN 1st live, except they were a lot cheerier and weren't crying that much?? (edit on 2nd day they did look teary) Since they were circling around, i also got the chance to see all of them up-close! ;; We were also singing lalalala part like in QN 1st solo con! I really love their smile at this song ;; they look like they were having tons of fun Audience also sang last "Kimi no moto ni todoke~" together and it was really touching. 2nd day "Kimi no moto ni todoke~~~~~~" was really long. On 2nd day i also remember the moment carts pass each other they did hi-touch with each other! tattsun and shoutan also had a hug? at one part

When they were doing the farewell greeting they went around like how it usually goes, fly to the future instrumental was playing on the background and the audience sang the "Fly to the future" part together ;; it was really touching!! At first day they weren't crying but i saw shoutan and maenu having teary eyes. 

Day 2 Shoutan was crying a bit, at one point he was crouching down and hid his face. On 2nd day audience was singing along to fly to the future too and they took off their in-ear monitor to listen to our voices and they looked really touched by it ;; They hugged each other starting from tattsun and maenu and so on. I remember tattsun and shoutan hug was a bit longer bc shoutan got so emotional and tattsun comforted him and patted his head ;; Shoutan was tearing up but at last moment before stage closes he smiled and it was memorable. When the stage was closing shoutan dragged morikubo close to him and shoutan+morikubo+tattsun peek through the remaining open gap and at last seconds Maenu also went to the middle except i could only see his rings in dark xD Also, can you believe that all of us the audience keep on singing along to the instrumental ver of QN songs (god’s star) EVEN AFTER the live ended? That’s just how cooperative and interactive the audiences were for both days and It was a BLAST. I felt so glad to be able to take part on it. The audience was extremely passionate and i’m sure you’d be able to feel it too even through BD/DVD vids. 

This felt awfully short compared to previous live maybe because the amount of the song! instead we got a lot of MCs tho. Utapri, thank you so much for getting all of these awesome people together. I can’t understand tbh, how did producer Agematsu gather four people whose voices blend like heaven even tho they have such a different voice characters...? Plus they also harmonize like heaven and perform really well.. I’m just so grateful I discovered such an amazing group.

(From Morikubo’s tweet!) Thank you so much for reading and i hope all of you love Quartet Night as much as i do ♡

[multisfabulis]

The Road to Forgiveness Be Damned

Redemption for a Blameless Sin (Chapter 3/7)

Word Count: 7525

TW: Depiction of PTSD flashback, mention of childhood abuse, self harm, body/eye horror, suicide, depiction of euthanasia

In the midst of a depressing two months, I finally finished this chapter! This might be the longest chapter I have for this series and that’s because A LOT of stuff goes down here. Going by the amount of trigger warnings above, this is also the darkest chapter I have, which is an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least.

I’ve done my best in giving the topics present in this the respect they deserve but I wouldn’t be surprised if I still screwed up somewhere. I mean no offense by what I wrote and I can only promise to be better if/when I explore these topics again.

Read on AO3 | Read on DA

     A yawn escaped from Ven’s mouth as she brushed her hair. She spent a good chunk of last night reading her mother’s journal. The small glimpses into her life made her want to continue reading, no matter how drowsy she got. She was only able to push through the first few pages before she stopped for the night. Today was too important to risk screwing up on.

     She and Ferreth would soon set off for the swamp to slay their quarry. Although they had no concrete plan as of now, the groundwork was at least there. Step one: kill the creature, step two: inform Filaurel of the deed, and step three: reap in the reward. Third step was still up in the air, however.

     As she finished pulling her hair back into the usual ponytail, Ferreth asked her, “How was your reading last night?”

     “It was…” she paused, searching for the right word to use, “interesting, to say the least.”

     “Not what you expected?”

     “You… could say that.”

     She then described some of what she had read through. While some of the entries were typical for someone of Thessalia’s age, others were more… suggestive. It wasn’t till the 3rd or 4th entry of that kind she realized her mother was a woman who avoided commitment like it was the plague. Nothing wrong with that, it just didn’t fit the image she had of her.

     “While it’s a little awkward to read--” she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear-- “it still lets me know who my mother was back then.”

     “Hey, whatever works, right?”

     “Mm-hmm.”

     They left the house in a moment’s time. Everything was about the same as usual as they walked towards the outskirts. It seemed to be quieter today, a small difference compared to the day before. This was more of the Thal Esari she experienced from her childhood, remembering how she used to be out more when it was quiet. It felt strangely nostalgic, something she never thought she’d miss.

     A crack from nearby seized her heart. It was something she was terribly familiar with and it sounded just as awful as it did way back when. Her stomach roiled as she tried to fight the urge to vomit.

     Her past and present were beginning to blur together into a kind of mismatched “reality”. Tall, dark figures flickered in and out of her vision, surrounding her for one second and then disappearing the next. Her throat felt seemingly sore from the imaginary cries for help she knew would fall on deaf ears. Blistering heat flared up all across her back from both the lashings and the dirt stinging the open wounds. She fell to the ground, clutching her chest, as tears filled her eyes.

     She needed to do something, anything, to ground herself back to reality. It didn’t matter what but it had to be now. She took out the knife she kept hidden away in her cloak and sliced her left hand open.

     It easily cut through the fabric of her glove as well as the skin on her palm. Good thing she sharpened it before coming here. Scarlet blood bled from her wound, though the black cloth of her glove did well to disguise it. She then opened and closed her hand tightly several times in an attempt to magnify the pain.

     You’re okay, she kept repeating to herself. You’re not a little kid anymore. There’s nothing they can do to hurt you. Ferret wouldn’t dare let anyone hurt you again. Breathe in, then breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

     The nausea she felt soon settled and her breathing steadied itself. The figures her mind conjured up vanished like the illusions they were. Her voice no longer felt like it was stuck, hearing her breaths come out clearly. The burning sensation across the span of her back was absent yet her scars still ached. Despite the dulling pain in her hand, she was okay. She was safe.

     Crouched down next to her, Ferreth asked her worriedly, “Ven, you okay? You need somewhere quiet?”

     “I’m fine,” she replied, her voice hoarse, “I just got a little sick, is all.”

     “...Come on, let’s get out of here.”

     Upon helping her up, he kept an arm around her waist to have her lean on him as they walked through the gates. Her legs felt weak as her head spun so she appreciated him acting as a wall of sorts for her. Those attacks always left her feeling like she had been put through the wringer after they passed.

     He sat her down in the shade of a nearby tree and gave her some water to drink. It flowed down her throat with ease, cooling her insides. She felt her dizziness lighten some as she wiped away the beads of sweat that formed on her forehead.

     “You all right?” he asked.

     “Yeah, I’m just…” She let out a small breath. “A little dizzy, that’s all.”

     “You sure? You haven’t gone down like that in a while, you know,” he said while brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face.

     “Ferret.” She gave him a small smile. “I’m okay.”

     It was hard to convince him of that once his worry set in but he let the matter go. She sometimes felt lucky to have someone show as much concern as he did for her, whether it be over protecting her from enemy attacks or helping her recover from flashbacks like earlier. She was truly blessed to have him in her life.

     Looking as if he realized something, he said, “Ven, let me see your hand.”

     She almost forgot about the open wound on her hand. As she held it out to him, she could see blood still seeping into her glove. She had no idea how deep her cut was or how hard she slashed with her knife.

     Taking off her glove, he grimaced and said, “Yeesh, you cut a little too deep for my liking. Nothing a roll of bandages won’t fix, though.”

     He took out a fresh white roll of bandages and began wrapping her hand up. As she watched him work, a pang of regret struck her heart. Even if she felt lucky to have him worry over her, it didn’t stop the guilt from gnawing away at her. None of this would be happening if she didn’t break down at the crack of a whip every time she heard one.

     “Hey, Ferret?” Her eyes fell down to the ground. “Sorry for always making you do this.”

     “Do what? Take care of you like the friend I am?” he asked.

     “You shouldn’t have to take care of me. Having to look after me every time I get lost in my memories isn’t fair to you. You do all these nice, wonderful things for me and I do nothing but be a burden to you. It just isn’t fair.”

     “Ohh, believe me--” She felt him let go of her hand-- “you do so much more for me than I think you’ll ever know.”

     She looked up to see him before her with an outstretched hand. He had the warmest smile gracing his face and a gleam of love in his eyes. She didn’t deserve to have such things directed towards her.

     “You’re not a burden to me, Ven. Despite what you may think, I take care of you because I want to, not because I feel like I have to. I know you’d be saying the same thing to me so no more feeling like you’re a burden, okay?”

     She wanted so desperately to believe him when he said that. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe he meant every word of it. It was just so much easier to keep everything inside and not bother anyone with her troubles. They had better things to do with their time than sit and listen to her vent. After all, she had been told that no one would care about the struggles of an insignificant Vlixeox all her life. Why annoy someone when she knew she didn’t matter to them?

     Still, it wouldn’t be fair to Ferreth if she didn’t give him a chance. She couldn’t promise him anything but she could at least try. It was the least she could do after subjecting him to one of her flashbacks again.

     Placing her hand in his, she smiled and said, “I’ll try not to be.”

     A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her after he helped her up. She was always left feeling drained whenever everything settled down. All she wanted to do was lay in a nice, soft bed and sleep the day away. However, there was something far more important she needed to do first.

     As she started walking towards where the swamp was, Ferreth ran up next to her and asked, “Ven, are you sure you don’t wanna wait till tomorrow to do this? I mean, you just had another attack so…”

     “It’ll be fine,” she replied. “It’s not like being tired has stopped me before.”

     “Yeah, but still…”

     “Ferret, you know this’ll only end in one of two ways. You’ll either have to carry me back, kicking and screaming, or we can continue on our merry way. Which will it be?”

     That came out harsher than she wanted it to but it needed to be said. They had a mission to accomplish on a time limit. She didn’t want precious time to be wasted on her mental state when it could be used for more pressing matters. Once this was done, then she could finally relax.

     He let out a sigh and said, “Fine, but I’m only letting you have your way because I know you’re too stubborn to accept a no.”

     He really knew how to make her feel guilty sometimes. Whether or not he did it on purpose, she didn’t know. She figured, once their mission was done, she’d apologize and make it up to him. After all, she was forcing him to go against his better judgment by letting her continue on, despite the emotional ordeal she just went through. It’d only be fair.

     Past the field of tall grass, they finally reached the dark forest. She was quick to notice the many peculiarities this place had. The trees had pieces of bark missing from them, the sizes anywhere from small lumps to large slabs. Leaves the color of decaying brown were preventing sunlight from filtering through its dense yet frail canopy. The patches of grass that sprouted up had no color to them.

     The forest looked as if something was slowly sucking the life away from it. Whatever it was, she knew it had to be an unnatural force. If drastic measures weren’t taken right away, the forest would eventually die.

     Still, it was something she couldn’t concern herself with. They didn’t come here to investigate why the forest was slowly dying. They came here to hunt down an animal that could potentially pose a threat to the people of Thal Esari and kill it. After that, they’d report back to Filaurel and turn their backs on this place. Whatever was going on with this forest, it wasn’t their problem to deal with.

     Gathering her resolve, she let out a determined breath and said, “Let’s go.”

     “Wait.” He grabbed her wrist to stop her from going in. “What’s the plan?”

     “We go in, find it, kill it, and report back to Lady Filaurel,” she replied matter-of-factly.

     “You can’t be serious.”

     “Do you have a better idea in mind?”

     He gave her a confident smile. “When do I not?”

     The plan he came up with was leagues better than her own. They were to split up so as to cover more ground and search for tracks. Since they were assuming their quarry to be of an unusual nature, they needed to be on the lookout for anything conveying that. If one of them found tracks, they’d signal the other via bird calls. Good thing there were barely, if any, birds around. Then it was just a matter of following them till they led to their target. If luck was on their side today, they could kill it quickly and inform Filaurel of the deed by the end of the day.

     Before they went in, he stopped her again, holding her hand in his. “What is it?”

     “...Be careful, okay? Don’t get reckless and think you can take it on by yourself. Just send me the signal if you find anything and I’ll come running.”

     “I will.” She squeezed his hand to comfort him. “You be careful, too, you hear?”

     He gave her an affirmative nod and let go of her hand. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what lied ahead. This was it, the only thing standing between her and the forgiveness she yearned for was their quarry. Once it was taken care of, they’d come back to Thal Esari, deliver the news of its death to Filaurel, and she’ll have earned her reward. It’ll be enough for her to maybe, finally, begin to forgive herself.

     Only one path left to take. Another deep breath to calm her nerves and then she set off towards the right side of the forest. She heard footsteps opposite from her direction, indicating Ferreth to have taken the left side. Let luck be on our side today, she silently prayed.

     Walking through the forest felt eerie. What should be vibrant greens were dull grays, furthering her suspicion that this place was dying. The only sound she heard was her own footsteps, no bugs or birds seemingly around for miles. She kept an eye and ear out in case she found the remnants of her prey traipsing about.

     As she wandered further in, she began to hear voices. They were indistinct whispers so she couldn’t make them out, no matter how hard she strained her ears. It was difficult to tell whether she was imagining them because of the creepy atmosphere or if they really were there. Either way, a pit started to grow in her stomach.

     Then came the shadows. She’d catch something darting out from the corners of her eyes every so often, only for there to be nothing when she turned to see. It didn’t help that she could barely make out anything within the darkness of the forest. Maybe it was her exhaustion from earlier causing her mind to play tricks on her, she figured. It did nothing to stop the pit from growing.

     She spotted a break in the darkness several feet ahead of her. Getting closer, she saw it was a ray of sunlight illuminating what appeared to be a drop-off. Whether it led to a cliff or a steep hill, she couldn’t tell from this distance. She crouched down and crept toward it as stealthily as possible.

     Coming up on the drop-off revealed several things. First, the drop-off itself was part of a hill that led to the swamp’s empty yet otherwise clean shore. Secondly, the swamp didn’t appear to be stricken with whatever curse was placed on the forest. Thirdly, she could hear bugs chirping and toads croaking from the swamp just ahead, wondrous sounds that may as well have been music to her ears. Lastly, she finally found what she was looking for.

     A very large print of some kind was impressed deeply into the ground. The print, upon closer inspection, looked to be of a hand, albeit deformed. She could recognize each finger and the thumb but there were also other finger-like appendages attached to them. Whatever left this handprint here had the condition she’d seen on some people where they had more than five fingers on their hands but in a more extreme fashion. The size of the handprint was easily twice the size of her hand by comparison.

     On both sides of the handprint were large puddles. She took a glove off and dipped her fingers into one of the puddles to see what it was. Her heart skipped a beat as she gasped. It wasn’t the fact that she was touching slobber left over from where her quarry was standing or that it felt gross and slimy that made her quickly pull her hand away. It was the warmth and realization of what that warmth meant.

     She heard a twig snap behind her and she whirled around. All she could see was a massive silhouette and many pairs of eyes glaring at her. The eyes were blue, green, brown, hazel, gray and she thought she saw two irises and pupils inside each socket. It snarled and growled with such ferocity, her heart sank down into her stomach. Guess she found her target.

     No sudden movements, she repeated to herself as she slowly moved her arm up to grab the end of her glaive. Even though she followed her mantra down to a T, it wasn’t enough. The creature charged at her, its gallops pounding against the ground. She stumbled back in shock, forgetting about the sudden drop-off.

     Her foot found no ground and she let out a scream. Pain scattered throughout her body as she fell down the steep hill. Sticks and rocks jabbed and cut her while leaves stuck to her like glue. She soon reached the end, groaning as she glanced down to inspect the damage.

     Blood and dirt were smeared over the bare patches of skin. Her stockings had several small tears in them, no doubt from the sticks that broke during her tumble. Her body felt sore while the cuts she sustained stung. She probably had a ton of scrapes and bruises all over her body that she couldn’t see. In the end, though, she was glad she wasn’t seriously injured after a fall like that.

     A ghastly roar from above sent chills down her spine. She looked up just in time to see the creature leap off the drop-off and land in front of her. With it now out in the sunlight, she could see what it really was.

     It was big, easily bigger than Ferreth, which scared her. It had a wild mane of tangled dark hair limply hanging on either side of its equine-like face. Thin, milky white skin covered its whole body except for the legs, which appeared to be rotting and she could see maggots feasting on dead flesh. Jagged discolored teeth protruded out its bottom jaw as thick drool dripped onto the ground. The many pairs of eyes that glared at her in hatred filled her with a dread she didn’t understand as she realized something. Why did those eyes look so familiar?

     She didn’t have time to think about that as the creature suddenly lunged a clawed hand at her. The claws were little more than bones sharpened to a point. She quickly drew up a wall of darkness to try and block the attack. Its claws tore through it like paper and she went flying right to a tree. A strangled groan came out as her back slammed into the trunk and she fell onto the ground.

     Another roar was let loose as she struggled to get up. Her back ached and she found it hard to breathe but she needed to move. This thing could attack her again at any moment and it was out for blood.

     Sure enough, the creature leapt towards her, claws outstretched and mouth agape. She side-stepped out of the way just in time to avoid being pinned down. It shot her a heated glance and growled, its upper lip curling to reveal sharp fangs. She wasted no time in getting the hell outta there.

     She ran as far as her legs could carry her. She needed to be a good distance away from this thing before she could even think about taking it down. The sheer power it had to tear through her defenses so easily proved to her it wasn’t to be underestimated. Her style of fighting wouldn’t work here, it’d be too risky. How would she be able to fight it if she couldn’t touch it, she realized.

     Well, she still had her trump card but… She didn’t feel comfortable using her power for combat. It was one thing to use it casually and for assistance in battles but it was a whole other matter to use it to fight. Just the thought of using her power with the intent to hurt her enemy made her feel uneasy, regardless of whether or not they deserved it. She may have full control over it now but the chance she’d do more harm than good was still too great. She’ll just have to make do with her glaive and improvise. She could do that, no problem.

     “Crap!”

     She skidded to a halt upon seeing the swamp’s shoreline fast approaching. Willow trees were scattered all across the swamp, some having roots that emerged from underwater. The water itself was black, though she couldn’t tell if it was naturally murky or if something else was causing it to be like that. Green lilypads and moss were the only bright colors in an otherwise dreary place. However, she didn’t stop to take in the scenery. With how dark the water was, there was no way to tell how deep it went. This was a problem for her because of her inability to swim.

     A roar came from behind her and she turned to face it. The creature caught up to her, its teeth bared and ready to tear her apart. Now she was really stuck between a rock and a hard place.

     The only thing left to do was fight. She still didn’t know how or even if she could touch it without getting torn to shreds but she’d figure it out. She took a deep breath, steadying her nerves as she stared into its eyes dead-on. They looked so familiar yet she couldn’t remember where she had seen them before. No matter, it’d be dead soon, anyway.

     The creature charged towards her, giving her a split second to react. Just as it’s about to ram her, she jumped up. She pressed a hand onto its head as if it were a vault and twisted her body. She was able to mount it with relative ease, the ache in her wrist notwithstanding.

     It began to buck to throw her off as she tried to tangle her hands in its mane. Each time she’d grab on to a dark lock, it’d fall out into her hand. It was only when she did this several times that she noticed curdled, black sludge seeping out from the missing patches of hair. That and the constant feeling of cold slime moving in-between her legs disgusted her.

     If she couldn’t get a good grip on it, there was always another option. She took out the knife from earlier, still stained in her blood, and plunged it deep in the space between its shoulders. Black sludge, which she now believed to be the creature’s blood, trickled out from the wound.

     It howled in pain, multiple voices screaming over each other. Another wave of chills went down her spine as the creature galloped further into the swamp. Now it was imperative she hold on to the knife for dear life, lest she fall into the water and drown. It reared back and she felt the blade cut through its back. What she saw inside the open wound made her heart stop.

     A rotting face rose up out of decaying flesh. Its skin was tanned and leathery, stretched taut over facial bones. Empty holes for eyes, no nose, thin, chapped lips, and sunken cheeks were all she could discern from it. The face opened its mouth and started to scream in a high pitched voice. This caused the creature to cease its bucking as she felt shifting skin between her legs.

     She looked down to see large tumors bulging out its body. Its thin skin tore apart to reveal six other faces, all in differing states of decay. They were in the same shape as the one in its back was, except with black blood spilling out of every orifice available. Screams erupted from their mouths as well and the pungent odor of death was present in the air.

     It was then she realized just what this creature was. Images of blood and dead bodies flashed through her mind as devastating despair filled her heart. She didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to accept it, but it was there. The reason why those eyes looked so familiar was because…

     “No, it can’t be… Seldanna?” The face inside the creature’s back fell silent as she turned to look at the others. “Leena, Aila, Travaran… Braern, Vaeril, and Rathal… You’re… the ones I killed?”

     Crying replaced screaming at the mention of their names. Voices of children and adults begging for help rang in her head. Tears slid down her cheeks as the voices grew louder and louder.

     Why were they here? Why were they dead? They didn’t deserve to die! Out of all the people that could’ve died that day, why was it them?! Why were they the ones that died and not…?! If only she could remember, if only she could’ve controlled herself back then, if only she…!

     The creature bucked again and she was thrown several feet away. It wasn’t till she found herself unable to breathe she realized she was underwater. She had to fight the urge to attempt to swim back up. Her lungs burned from the lack of air but she could care less about that.

     Did she really deserve to live? Did she really have the right to live after killing innocent people? Maybe it’d be better if she just died. It’d give both her victims and the lives she irrevocably destroyed some form of closure. She deserved to die a long, painful death as retribution for all the pain she caused. All she’d have to do is sink to the bottom, let out her final breath, and…

     She sensed a presence beside her, not knowing who or what it was. Hands cupped her cheeks and she felt pressure on her lips. Her lungs filled with air as an arm wrapped around her waist began pulling her up. She didn’t need to see to know who it was once they broke the surface.

     “Ven, you all right?” Ferreth asked.

     She couldn’t find it within herself to care about giving him an answer. She didn’t want to say anything, do anything. All she wanted to do was crawl into a ditch and let herself wither away until she died. Noting her lack of a response, he began swimming them back to land. He apologized for not coming sooner before explaining how he stopped the creature’s pursuit of her with an uppercut by way of earthen wall. He didn’t know how far it went but he hoped the distance would give them enough time to make it back to shore. His words went in one ear and out the other.

     It wasn’t till they were on land a distant roar could be heard. Her stomach roiled once more, knowing what that meant. He muttered something she didn’t catch and hauled her over his shoulder to run. Fresh, silent tears trailed behind them as they made their escape.

     He ran back the way she came, even climbing the hill she tumbled down with help from his powers to make it relatively easy. The whispers from before returned, louder and louder till they filled her head with incomprehensible murmurs. They served to make the dark thoughts swirling around stand out among everything else. The urge to grab her knife and stab herself with it grew.

     A piercing scream tore through the midday sky as they settled into a small glade. She recognized it as Aila’s. Images of her small, mangled body flooded her mind and she wanted to throw up at the sight of it. She didn’t even want to think about how the others looked when she…

     “Okay, I think we’ve lost that son of a bitch for now,” he said, checking behind him before letting out a weary sigh. “Holy shit, though, that thing is pissed.”

     “It’s my fault…” she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself, “it’s my fault they’re like this.”

     “What do you mean it’s your fault and who’s they?”

     “They’re the people I killed, don’t you get it?!” Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about how loud her outburst was. “Seldanna, Leena, Aila, Travaran, Braern, Vaeril, Rathal…It’s because of me they’re dead!”

     “Ven, it was an accident. It wasn’t your---”

     “It doesn’t matter! I killed them and nothing will ever change that!” She shuddered as she let out another sob. “God, I just wanted to prove to everyone I wasn’t a monster…”

     All her life, she had been told she was a monster because of her existence as a Vlixeox. No matter how well she behaved, no matter how she tried to stay out of their way, it never changed. Her crime only solidified their view of her. She thought that, by atoning for her sin, she’d finally show everyone she wasn’t what they believed her to be. Now, even hell would be too good for a monster like her.

     Hands were on her cheeks, wiping away the tears that fell. It was comforting and she wanted so badly to lean into it. But she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve the love and care he’s treated her with, especially now. How could he still want to stay with her after everything that’s happened?

     “Ven.” She didn’t want to look at him. What emotion his eyes held, she was too scared to see. “I want you to listen to me. I know that whatever I say, you may not believe me or even deny it but… I mean every word of what I say next to you. All I ask is for you to hear me out for a little bit, okay?

     “It was not your fault. You were just a scared kid who didn’t want to get hurt. I know you didn’t mean to hurt them, much less kill them. It was just a tragic accident. I know that doesn’t change the fact that they’re… dead but it also doesn’t change the fact that you were protecting yourself from the people that were hurting you. They can twist what happened back then to suit what they want to believe but only you know the truth, even if you can’t remember it all.

     “You’ve paid more than enough for this. You’re not a monster, Ven. I know it, everyone back home knows it. I just wish you’d know it, too.” He stroked her cheek as another tear fell.

     “What if you’re wrong?” She finally worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. “What if I am one?”

     “You’re not.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Even so, I won’t stop trying to convince you you’re not a monster till you believe it. I don’t care if it takes me a lifetime to do it. This, I promise to you.”

     She laid her hands on his as she cried softly. How could a monster like her be blessed with someone as wonderful as him? She’s done nothing to deserve such kindness and love from him yet he still lavishes her with it. He truly is someone she feels so, so happy to have in her life.

     Pulling away, she began to say, “Hey, Ferret, I---”

     A familiar roar cut her off, echoing through the trees. The creature’s monstrous body suddenly appeared behind Ferreth, ready to strike. She summoned a mass of darkness to quickly push him out of the way of the incoming attack. Just as he was shoved into safety did its bony hand snatch her up. It slammed her into the ground and the little breaths she had came out in a choke.

     Fear seized her heart as its many eyes glared down at her. No, she couldn’t be terrified of it now. While she didn’t know how this amalgamation came to exist, she knew the people making it up needed to move on. This state of being, seven vengeful, scared entities seemingly trapped in a single deteriorating body for god knows how long, was no way to live.

     “Why did you do this to us?” A legion of voices asked, though one in particular spoke above the rest.

     “Trav…aran…” She squeezed the reply out as it slowly tightened its grip on her. “I know that… nothing I say will… mean anything but…”

     She managed to keep it distracted while she sent a tendril of darkness to retrieve the knife that was still embedded in its back. The knife came out easily enough and the creature was none the wiser. She then willed the tendril to stab the blade into the fleshy part of the hand that held her.

     It screamed in pain as it was forced to let her go. She took several breaths of air, thankful she wasn’t being crushed to death. Afterwards, she stood up and trained her glaive on the creature, now growling in retaliation.

     “I’m sorry for killing you once,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady, “and I’m sorry to have to do it again to end your suffering.”

     Her eyes wandered over to where Ferreth was. Claws and scales replaced fingers and skin on his arms and slitted eyes met her gaze. That meant he was raring to fight, something she couldn’t let happen at any cost. This was her responsibility and she wasn’t about to let him take care of it for her. This was something she needed to do.

     “Ferret.” She spoke slowly and tried not to make any sudden moves. “I’m gonna need your help with something. As soon as I’m done talking, I’m going to bolt back to the swamp in the hopes this thing will follow me. Give it some time and then follow us back so you can restrain them with your power. Do you understand?”

     “Y-yeah, but---”

     She didn’t give him time to respond as she suddenly darted to the right. The creature missed its swipe at her and she dashed past it. It gave a roar before following after her, its heavy footfalls thudding behind her.

     A glance every so often confirmed her theory that its only target was her. Any obstacle in its way would be rendered a casualty, be it people or objects. If Ferreth did as he was told, its only concern should be the girl running away from it.

     She reached the drop-off once more. Remembering what happened last time she came to this spot, she skidded to a stop and quickly looked around. No way could she try and jump off, it’d be too risky at this height. She found a sturdy-looking branch growing out of a willow tree ahead of her. It didn’t seem reliable but it was the best she had. Darkness coiled around the branch and she leapt from the drop-off while holding onto the makeshift vine.

     It didn’t take long for the branch to snap from her weight. She landed on her side roughly, her hip flaring up in pain. She was just barely given enough time to react when the creature pounced on her.

     With teeth bared for her to see, it lunged. She stuck her glaive in its mouth in an attempt to stop it from biting into her. Warm spit slid down the metal to her arms as she tried to keep her weapon inside its maw. There was no way for her to escape without risking the possibility of getting slashed by its claws. Still, if she had to, the risk would be more than worth it.

     Then it was forcibly dragged away from her. Its claws raked through the dirt on either side of her as it struggled to stay. She crawled out from under it to see Ferreth curling hardened dirt like a corkscrew around its torso. Dirt and dust caked his scaled arms and sprinkled off the extended limbs of earth as it thrashed around. Thank god for his intervention…

     “Ven, you all right?” he asked loudly so he could be heard over the creature’s roaring.

     Standing up, she replied, “I’m holding up! Listen, when I tell you to, let it go.”

     “Are you crazy?! This thing wants to kill you!”

     “I know but it won’t come down to that. I just need to talk with them.”

     “What if it kills you after I let it go?! I don’t want you to die!”

     “I’ll be okay, Ferreth!”

     He closed his eyes tightly, brows knitted in worry and mouth clenched. She knew that the very idea of gambling with her life is something he never wants to consider. Still, he needed to believe in her, if only just for this one thing. After a moment, their eyes locked and she knew she had his trust.

     She walked over to it, a mixture of sadness, guilt, and grim acceptance filling her heart. As she stood in front of the beast, it roared and lashed out in fury. Yet she did nothing, letting it vent its rage at her. Its eyes burned with contempt while the voices shifted between cursing her existence and crying out for a savior.

     Soon, it tired itself out. Although it no longer tried to attack her, it still growled at her when she moved closer to it. She looked into its eyes in pity, struggling to keep the tears at bay.

     She placed a gentle hand on the bridge of its nose. Nothing she could say to them would change what happened. She dealt them a cruel fate, regardless of it ultimately being an accident. She’d do anything to rewind the clock and prevent the senseless tragedy that occurred but… That was then and this is now.

     Stroking it in a soothing manner, she said, “I know that what I did to you all can never be taken back… and for that, I’m truly sorry.

     “No words can come close to describing just how sorry I am. I don’t expect any of you to accept my apology and that’s okay. All I can say is, none of you deserved to die and you especially don’t deserve to be trapped in the suffering you’re all in. It should be the other way around but… life’s unfair at times.”

     The growls stopped and the voices fell quiet. What was once malice was now sorrow as eyes stared at the girl who spoke in bittersweet comfort. She couldn’t begin to imagine how they felt but she wanted to believe they shared just an inkling of the sadness there was at the whole situation.

     “Ferret, let them go. I think they’re okay now.”

     He dropped his arms and the dirt around its body crumbled away. A small part of her expected them to maul her right then and there after luring her into a false sense of security. They didn’t. Instead, they laid down in front of her, their eyes solemnly closed. She continued to stroke its face all the while.

     “You all were so kind to me back then. I didn’t understand the ways some of you had shown that at the time but I want you to know that I truly, truly appreciated it. I can only repay that with an act of kindness of my own and it’s the only thing I can give you all. It’s more like an act of mercy but still…”

     A bitter laugh escaped from her mouth as tears slid down her cheeks. Even though what she was about to do next was right, she wished it didn’t have to be like this. If only there was some other way to do it but it wasn’t meant to be. She held them close, knowing this will be the last time she’ll ever see them again. Her heart ached yet she remained calm as she stepped away from them.

     “May the afterlife give you a better beginning than the grisly end I forced you to meet.”

     They bowed their head in resignation, waiting to meet their fate. Darkness wrapped around their neck before suddenly twisting to the side. Their neck snapped with a sickening crack and their body fell forward. Whatever strange power brought about their revival was gone as they withered away to dust.

     It was only when a few specks were left she heard them. Two words that were spoken in an almost mournful tone. Words from the people she’d never see again till it was her time.

     “We’re sorry.”

     A gentle breeze carried the specks of dust high up into the sky until they were no longer visible. That was it. It was over. She’d cry if she had more tears to shed but she didn’t. She felt empty, hollow. Yet she also felt as if a great weight was lifted from her shoulders. Maybe it was because she faced a terrible truth head-on instead of running away or something within her finally felt settled in some way. She didn’t know which it was.

     Her mind felt hazy. The figure of Ferreth blurred in her vision, sounds faded into the background, and her movements seemed to be half a second slow. A muffled voice was the last thing she heard before her descent into darkness.

[friendliest-place-on-earth]

Sprace Domestic Series (pt.6)

(Part 1)

(Part 2)

(Part 3)

(Part 4)

(Part 5)

(AO3)

Here comes a really cute chapter you guys…

Spot’s hands shook like mad as he picked up the phone, holding it so it wouldn’t slide out of his sweaty palms. He dialed Race’s number and took in some deep breaths to hide his shaking voice. The phone rang twice in his ear before his boyfriend picked it up.

“Hey Race.” he started, coughing to cover up the high pitched sounds of his voice.

“Hey Spot…” Race replied questioningly.

“You’re almost done with work, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, wh-”

“Great, I need to talk to you. See you then!” Spot quickly hung up the phone before Race could say anything else. I’m gonna throw up. Spot frantically thought, getting in his car and heading to Race’s bakery. It was around 8 o'clock in December, so it was pretty dark outside and the stars were sure to be out in this part of town.

Shit, he’s gonna break up with me isn’t he.. I wonder what it was, maybe it’s that I work so long and I should be at home more. Or it could be my folks cause they were a little overbearing last time… Race’s thoughts went a mile a minute, thinking of all the reasons Spot would want to break up with him and prepared for the crushing rejection. He quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text.

[Race] Crutchie, I think Spot’s gonna break up with me…

[Crutchie] Why in the world would you think that?

[Race] He called me and said he needed to talk after I got off of work and he sounded real nervous so what else would he have to say?

[Race] Or maybe he’s sick…

[Crutchie] Take a breather buddy. Spot loves you and his immune system is too stubborn to get sick, so I think you’re in the clear

[Crutchie] Why don’t you just wait and actually listen to him?

[Race] I guess you’re right, I’ll tell you what happens afterwards

[Crutchie] See ya! Remember to do those breathing exercises okay?

[Race] Did Davey get to ya?

[Crutchie] Maybe…

Race laughed to himself and put his phone back into his pocket before putting his coat and gloves on. Everyone had already gone home so he locked up and decided to wait for Spot outside because at least then he could see when his boyfriend would show up. After a few minutes, Race started shaking and he didn’t know if that was because of the cold or nerves. He looked around to see that snow was starting to fall and thought about how mad Spot would be since he forgot to wear his hat. That is, if he still cared to stick around. He pulled up his coat collar in an attempt to shield himself from the biting wind as a small black car drove into the parking lot. Race stuffed whatever worries he had into the bottom of his stomach as Spot stepped outside and walked towards him.

“Hey babe, are you okay? Christ you’re freezing.” Spot wrapped Race in a tight hug upon seeing him.

“Y-yeah I’m fine what’d you wanna talk about?” Race asked, pulling away and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Okay so uh, I don’t exactly know how to do this but here it goes-”

“Sean, if you’re gonna break up with me just do it so I can go h- to Crutchie’s house and cry.” he realized that if they broke up, home wouldn’t be home anymore even if it was technically his apartment.

“Why the hell would you think I wanna break up with you?” Spot asked, confused and a little frightened that Race would think that.

“I don’t know it’s just-”

“I love you so much but if you keep talking I don’t think I can get through this.” Spot laughed humorlessly. Race breathed a small sigh of relief but Spot still looked as scared as he’d ever been.

“Okay, here it goes. You know I love you right?” Spot asked, taking Race’s hand.

“Yeah.” he nodded, blaming the winter air on his pink cheeks.

“Well, I love you so much that I can’t imagine not waking up next to you everyday. I love you so much that I want to hold your hand and kiss you all the time, I want you to know that I’m always here to remind you where you are. I love you so much that now I’ll never complain about a kissing scene at the end of a cheesy romantic comedy. I love you so much that even though every instinct is telling me to run home and hide, I’m standing right here practically handing my heart over to you. I love you so much that I’ll never get in a fight again, well, only if they say something bad about you.” Race held on tight to Spot’s hand as happiness bubbled over into a small laugh as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I love you so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to know what it’s like to be completely yours, I want the stupid house with a lawn and a picket fence. I want the fairytale ending, Anthony I want to start a family with you.” Spot sniffled, still holding onto Race as he slowly dropped to one knee.

“I’d rather start a family with my husband.” he pulled out a small black box and opened it to reveal a shiny silver ring, reflecting the falling snow, making it look like stars. Race’s hands flew to his mouth in surprise and also to wipe away the hot tears flowing down his face.

“Will you marry me?” Spot asked, his heart pounding in his ears whilst trying to hold back tears.

“Yes. Yes oh my god, yes!” Race cried as Spot looked back up at him with the brightest smile it could’ve outshone the stars. He pulled the glove off of Race’s hand and slipped the ring on. Spot stood and they took a moment to look at it, and realized that this was really happening, that they would be spending forever together. Race was the first one to break the tension, grabbing Spot- his fiancé- by the collar and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Spot wrapped his arms around Race again and finally allowed a few happy tears to spill out of his eyes.

“Are we really doing this?” Spot whispered as they pulled away.

“What else would we be doing?” he answered, connecting their lips again before they both pulled away because they couldn’t stop smiling.

“Hey where’s your hat?” Spot asked, ruffling Race’s hair.

“Is that really what you’re focusing on here?” the taller man asked.

“Well it’s no good if my fiancé gets a cold the day after I propose.” he joked, testing out the new word.

“How’s about we go home then?” Race asked. As they climbed into Spot’s car, Race quickly took his phone out of his pocket to send Crutchie another text.

[Race] You knew didn’t you!

[Crutchie] Maaaaybe

“I still can’t believe you thought I was gonna break up with you…” Spot laughed, still a little shaky, but still very happy.

“What was I supposed to think? You wanted to talk after work with that shaky voice and I figured you wanted to break up there so you didn’t have to see me again at home.” Race answered sadly, making Spot reach out and grab his hand, running over his engagement ring.

“Well did you forget that I was gonna have to pick you up anyways? I dropped you off today remember? I would’ve been pretty awkward if I had to drive you somewhere after breaking up with you.” Spot laughed humorlessly. Suddenly it clicked in Race’s mind, he hadn’t even thought for a second before stepping into Spot’s car and not checking for his own, or that Spot would’ve had to drive him home.

“I’m such an idiot.” Race rested his head in his right hand.

“But I love you.” There was no anyways. Spot kissed the back of Race’s left hand before letting go to better focus on the road. They soon arrived at their apartment and Spot opened the door to let his partner see what he had set up for them. On their kitchen table was two bowls of spaghetti bolognese, since Race usually eats after work, and two glasses of wine. He noticed a large pile of blankets and pillows in their living room, but he figured it could wait until after they ate.

“My favorite!” he quickly sat down and Spot took the chair across from him.

“How’d you know I’d say yes?” Race asked with a mouthful of food.

“I didn’t, I just really hoped you would.” Spot replied sheepishly, taking his own forkful of pasta.

“Well good for you Spotty.” he winked, continuing to shove pasta into his mouth in reckless abandon. Spot couldn’t stop staring at the man across from him and notice how differently he acted compared to their first date. He seemed so composed, taking the time to twirl the pasta around on his fork but now he was just so comfortable, not feeling the need to keep up appearances. It made for a warm feeling where Spot could’ve sworn his heart should be. As they calmed down from the adrenaline high and finished their food, it was time for another one of Spot’s surprises.

“Here you go.” he said, handing a glass of hot chocolate to his fiance, with extra whipped cream on top.

“You truly are a blessing Sean Conlon.” he kissed Spot on the lips as he took the mug from his hands.

“Wait, before you drink that, follow me.” Spot extended his hand and Race took it, following him into the living room to the aforementioned pile of blankets.

“This here is the best blanket fort in all of New York.” Spot gestured to his structure, before setting Race’s mug on the table and pulling them both inside. His soon-to-be-husband admired all the hard work that must’ve gone into all of this, there were blankets high above their heads with the light just shining through them and Spot had even brought the tv in there. “I can’t disagree with you there babe.” Race smiled, pressing a kiss to Spot’s cheek as they wrapped themselves up in blankets. Spot brought Race’s mug into the fort and revealed a movie he had hidden somewhere amongst the pillows.

“Really, Frozen?” Race raised one eyebrow in mock judgement.

“C’mon, it fits the season and it has some pretty great songs.” Spot defended, poking Race in the ribs.

“Fine.” he conceded.

“Can we talk about how Elsa’s totally gay? Have you even listened to Let it Go?” Race asked in a somewhat serious tone, causing Spot to giggle next to him.

“I couldn’t agree more.” instead of having blankets wrapped around each of them separately, Race pulled Spot closer and combined the warmth. They of course sang “Love Is An Open Door” because they were in fact, hopelessly in love. Spot definitely didn’t kiss the man who would soon be his husband on that last note. No, that’d be way to cheesy.

(Part 7)