#also I posted this on the wrong account ffs

[meowindie]

there's a million reasons to ban claudia walsh: some being she's a z**nist, did a problematic couples costume, and has been rude to her fans! so here are some other pretty blondes to use instead of her!

madison iseman, josefine frida petterson, scarlett leithold, michelle randalph, janae roberts, ginny gardner, kail peery, emma ellingsen (she is trans!), and meg donelly.

[habitsbf]

SEVENTRIALS is the only canon HABIT twitter/x (who the fuck actually calls it x) account. PURPLEDUCKTAPE is not canonically connected to EverymanHYBRID at all. PLEASE STOP MIXING THEM UP.

its genuinely irritating seeing people spread misinformation about the accounts and claiming the wrong one is canon. especially since the og owner behind PURPLEDUCKTAPE fucking sucked. like real bad. they were a racist piece of shit. EVAN JENNINGS HIMSELF DOES NOT LIKE THEM.

heres an old tweet of his from 2017 confronting them for their racist behavior ↓

also can i just point out their bio quite literally used to state "(noncanon account)". the current holder of the username on twitter has also stated in their bio "former non-canon shitposting account". BTW IM PRETTY POSITIVE THE CURRENT OWNER IS NOT THE OG + THE ACCOUNT SEEMS ABANDONED 😭 so please dont go harass them. theres no point.

anyways no offense but come on, how did people look at these tweets and genuinely believe them to be canon?

when has HABIT ever talked like this in his posts. the only canon accurate thing theyd do was type in all capslock. LIKE WHY WOULD HABIT REPLY TO A TWEET FROM MARKIPLIER 💀 WHY WOULD HE SAY HIM AND OBSERVER/KEVIN (the entity AND the vessel???) WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP. THAT SURE AS HELL ISNT CANON ACCURATE. (no offense to the observbit shippers. if you ship HABIT with kevin tho i think youre weird ♡)

THIS IS THE ONLY HABIT ACCOUNT ON TWITTER THATS ACTUALLY CANONICALLY CONNECTED TO EMH ↓

its literally followed by the official EverymanHYBRID twitter account ffs.

[obsidianpen]

Uh, kinda rude but the previous anon wasn't entirely wrong. Just look at the numbers, your most popular story is Tomione, Pen, and I think you also prefer them to write, don't you? I mean, the relationship between them is more equal and interesting and intellectual and they complement each other in a way that, Harry never could, I mean, he's great, really good but uh, too simplistic. Hermione has more complexity as a character, and her dynamic with Tom/Voldemort is more fascinating. This is just my opinion,.. but the numbers are there to prove that we are a bigger community.

lol ACTUALLY

The numbers on B&G are only bigger because that story is public. NG, and all my other harry/V ones, are private, meaning it’s only available to people who make accounts and are logged into them. The only people who can bookmark, leaves kudos, or comment on those fics are people who have active Ao3 accounts.

I’m pretty certain that there are MANY more tomarry fics than there are tomione ones, at least on Ao3. Not sure about on ffnet or other sites but I’m only on ao3… except for when people tell me they found my stories on Reddit or TikTok and then I inevitably have to sit and marvel at how I am like an ancient shaman of toxic storytelling to a younger generation who yell at each other about whether they should read my fics in the comment sections of ambiguous posts with quotes from those fics… what a journey these stories have been on.

So. why is my tomione fic public but not the harrymort ones? Because, in my experience as a ff write for both ships - and I’ve been here a while - people who like harry/V are pretty chill with people enjoying other ships (usually). People who come for tomione, however, sometimes FREAK when they see harrymort. So I try to make it a little less accessible to that crowd, for my own sanity.

lastly…. Does one have to be better than the other? I think both Harry and hermione are great for different reasons. One is t better, they’re just different. :)

[tommyssupercoolblog]

can I ask what happened w that artist and you? totally fine if you don't want to tell I'm just noisy

They had been bullying a friend of mine and we found out they were stalking that friend's blog because I commented under a post and then got a BUNCH of hate anons with the sentence structure/writing style, and a lot of them with purposefully bad spelling. Showed them to my friend and they were like. "Yeah I think that's them, or could be anyway". After I blocked the Anon through my askbox, a little bit later bunch of anons (again with the same writing style and harping the same points) came through on a BACKUP account but this only happened like two other times before they apparently ran out and it all stopped. And again the spelling appeared to be bad on purpose? Probably to cloak it.

Anyways, we were suspicious about how we got this right after interacting with our friend a bunch, but what confirmed our suspicions was that the artist's account, who I had not blocked yet, was magically marked as blocked after I blocked all the anons. Meaning that when I clicked "block Anon" on one or more of the messages, it hit the account.

The common threads that came up in the anons are: they claimed factives aren't real because the concept is creepy and that we were faking being a system, they called Seán "it" in a very transphobic manner (hey can we maybe not call nonbinary/multigender people "it"? Ffs), called me a retard and made fun of my autism, and told us both to kill ourselves. Yikesies.

They also, ironically, accused me of spelling Seán wrong because his source's name is spelled Sean.... Except it ISN'T spelled Sean. Seán is the correct spelling FOR SOURCE TOO!!! Source has gone on camera multiple times and explained that it's Seán because that's what makes it pronounced Shaun and not See-an or whatever, the á makes a sound in the gaelic language that changes the pronunciation. the main reason people in the JSE fandom spell is Sean without the á is because they don't know how to make the á symbol on their keyboards, so Sean becomes a close approximation.

They also did send Seán a message too, but he only got one compared to my MULTIPLE ones. Unsure why.

We also reported some of the messages, but idk if Tumblr staff did anything.

I only screenshotted one of the messages? But I can show it. I'll put it under the cut for trigger reasons. CW for....awful behavior, but here's the screenshot I DO still have under the cut. It doesn't cover everything that was said but it actually does contain MOST of the points I mentioned because it's long as fuck

Anyways 🩷💖 awful and horrible but at least the bad spelling made it like. Sort of funny? It cushioned the blow, which is silly because it was probably only done so they could get away with being mean to me. But all it did was make me go "wow this is kinda silly"

[indigitalembrace]

[ooc: since this is a long message I’m not encoding it, but it is encrypted in-universe]

spooky. sup.

i got somthin big cookin. but for this to work i need intel.

first, i need a favour. i cant do much thanks to the watchdog. i so much as twitch my fingers on the keyboard in the wrong place an time and this whole operation will come crashin down. so. if u can, watch the shrimp for me when they are online doin mundane stuff. because if they do stuff like use social media, play games that require a registered account, use their email and especially if they get online deliveries to their house, those all will have info that will help me figure out where they live irl.

second: tell me everything u know about how pinkie can access an affect the real world. whats the limitations. how much warning would i get. what r the access points. do devices need power for it to be able ta use em? how functional do they have to be? would pinkie be able to exit a screen the size of a pager or somthin? does it need an internet connection to jump pcs or can it do that without it?

and can it be hurt in the real world? can it be hurt by destroying its host device while its occupyin it? or is the only way to kill it digitally? did you ever have a program specifically set up for that (if so, y u no gimmie dat earlier!? rude!). how long would it take?

also any info u have picked up on shrimp or their livin space that might be useful for an irl confrontation would be suuuuuper handy as well.

give me all ya got on all these things. if its a lot, just send me a zip file or somthin lol.

i do have some unfortunate news. i think we gotta change our 'meeting site' soonish. ill send ya some prospectives later. i have a feelin that it might get compromised.

i mayyyyyy have poked the shrimp with a stick. don’t worry, they wont be able to tell the actual pc I used. I am da disquise master. it is me. also i lied. ive scrounged up some burner laptops anyway. my friends r awesome (dont worry they aint involved they just knew I needed the laptops for reasons and they are used to me Enacting Shenanigans).

oh. And one last thing. when I get there, hightail off that pc asap. im gonna signal u and give you a path to a safe pc. Do Not Hesitate. cuz trust me no matter how I decide ta play this u will *not* wanna be on that computer when im doin my thing. and ill almost certainly be disabling the wi-fi in the process.

id like u ta not be double dead. low key fond of ya spookster.

Goblin out

[ooc: If there is a lot of info to give and you don’t want to post it all here, message me and we can work something out like a google doc or something. Or maybe there’s not much for Sonny to say. I dunno, I’m not driving this crazy train lol]

[ENCRYPTED MESSAGE] Ty. Kqgwkh'j tpx cex nhw voe zrtpxf rec tpx rrmr ywn bvxu… lcvyzep fwk mfn, ye'a wwjmiakmsu. Ted abbtx Z czxokxu hqf… W bgfw zbuym nhmks yx jtwksj xmezrhybeg. [SENDING ENCRYPTED FILE "SHRIMP_DATA.zip"] Myab lvfncd ptjv xmezrhybeg ghi exvd. Qm'g vovrgmvzgx tpth jipivz afgjtmk yehns. Ghi dtp nwm vrov mcvv ntinqgu navn px uvmj avzfp. Xmev t qffgubxf tkrspbbx pfn'b lhfi yiu. As ytj fcez thetzhz fovr bas jrjtmf, pfmy ibl vrkuwiks rgu swyhntie. Bas dhjt qgjrlzvm iffziau B'jv xmez lsvg. Zf ghi jxv hql tfkd sbtfk mf cptbxx, rnl as'j zioeg wemf a nhfd pztp vzrpj, ib'l hfh cabx. Wk'l vxbko khf lims zy ye ohsj betw awj lyalhk-chfkqgu whim. Px ceep dwxg kart ease av's zxocep, rmtzcr gialsu ted thgzgx cwghihc on awj xdobbcel. Khmks zl… eo etm kh wioah fk fubkie azm, aacim ff jhcbbeg qm hf mye vxoixjt xeotx waz yoi tnag yfff rng xzvvkrwgwt wvvqvsj. B uo vhh bgfw phk ktcl ghi rkv, bcm W uhlbb rcl tie wosi mvn igr r arln ysvm kate. Vv'l rlah trlk. Efmfvfvlg yojm. Rnl mvzgbs ynwtdcy, bhc, vovn qy vv wfeag'h dtbe bas dhjt zthzheat wstbjiwgg. Z wf nwm yehn hql zzfztimwfgj iv msifj on lqixvn abnv, ult Q wc bgfw pbg andpqgu wkfm avfvxe tw lqixvn wnhjbue bas ubxibtz nhill lsvfj ivwsgxedmgh fy rn qghvkeeb vcegvcbbce. Fp bmlh kavozr wj myab tg r wzgqmoc uvivz, vv bj ciiosev on zsexiabbbx azs wpb thenmvhzhe on lcdx jozm, plm vvmg W uhe't nnzcr lnlxfjmrnl awd. B lsmw hf arvm t yzec sebhta ff ahfkl. R bivyuhfr bh rvevtm awj lvrdxfj. Nefwkhlgrtmem, yx wocgr kart utbp rvazl oxh. Jeiesu bk ux, wsjmiogxr nartmosi av cwnzu, vyavzsu tcl bas gtjsehful. Nhimsmxi ywn rf, rfuz usjm thigqv hw sckjzorl ql hf frkm liix ye lhsjg'k smx mfn, fr pxoi rfu, wk smxe nwmwtx poc'ks kavrm. Mvrm jhzbag gvvmk zvtmea mvvbi rwha, yheeamzp, ted Sbbzmf's iekrrj wimqybeg. Ghi exvd bh ardv scks yx zsv'm ocxitmw, ci bk's otav hmez yci rfu. Ohcu elcs, fm wkzevw. Gktp siys.

[starillusion13]

There’s a thing I want to share with you guys. I was wondering about it for a while these days because I was all alone in my room and thinking about it. You can see I was on hiatus for these last one month because of my exams and now I’m back but I’m not posting anything as I had promised. This is the actual reason.

I no longer feel like to read or write SMUT on them. I don’t know but after a few incidents occurred in my life, I feel about this so wrong and don’t want to do anything related to it. I am okay with FLUFF AND ANGST but I won’t do anything about SMUT.

I was thinking about deleting all my SMUT ffs but I won’t, they will be here but I’m no longer posting any smut fics. I have given my smut drafts to other writers and all the requests in my inbox, I’m sorry but I won’t be writing them anymore. I hope you can understand me and support me.

What do you think? Am I overreacting with SMUT thing or is it okay to have personal opinions?

I am also thinking about deleting my Tumblr account and being active on Wattpad but some of my moots requested to not leave this platform so yeah I am here for a meanwhile unless I’m coming to a final decision.

I will be soon starting A NCT SERIES ON WATTPAD. If you want to read it, you can follow me on there.

THANK YOU!

[pockyandsoda]

omfd s2ep8 spoilers & rant

originally posted to my twitter acc

i am genuinely so confused by the amount of pure vitriol some of you have towards izzy and izzy fans?? i get not particularly liking a character or agreeing with the way other people see them, but some of y'all are being absolutely disgusting towards others. what happened to cringe culture being dead, huh? insinuating people should be embarassed or ashamed to have a reaction to characters they like - having big emotions about media you love is part of being in a fandom! you're no better or less weird! oooh look at you being unwilling to forgive or accept character growth! wow! so morally superior and cool! just because you dont personally agree that a redemption arc was deserved or done well doesnt make it a fact btw.

ive been watching this season with casual viewers who are not a part of online fandom at all, and they have all very much enjoyed izzy's arc and him as a character, they are able to see the narrative importance of it, as are the writers and the crew. again, you dont have to agree. but dont act superior.

at the end of the day, this is a silly pirate show made mostly for 'haha's, and ALL of these characters have done HORRIBLE things, they're pirates ffs, that's kinda the whole point here guys! and those things are ridiculously easily forgiven (by our standards) again, because they are pirates and this is not a serious show.

izzy fans are sad, some are very very sad, maybe even a 'weird' amount! so? do you really need to dunk on them for lolz? make it out like they're insane for even liking a character that the show itself actively likes and supports and clearly wants the audience to like (in s2 anyway, and if you deny this then sorry but you're being willfully wrong)? idk why any of you are remotely surprised people like this character? starting to think some of you just wanna be edgy and seem sarcastic and cool and superior for your 'witty' twitter commentary tbh.

and of course sending any kinda negativity towards writers/cast/crew is disgusting and pathetic, but im seeing that from izzy lovers and haters alike on my feed, so dont you dare try and make it seem like a pro-izzy only issue here. and y'know what? it's also disgusting and pathetic to belittle and mock other members of the fandom, and im only seeing one side engaging in that behavior, please do humble yourselves and remember the times in your life when you have had a strong emotional reaction to things happening to your fav characters and ships. dont forget that you are also a loser with a fandom twitter/tumblr account.

and for the record, i thought the finale was genuinely good, as was all of season 2 in my opinion. all this immature negativity and faux superiority is making this fandom toxic. izzy is a popular character with viewers (casual & otherwise) and the creative team, who had a decent redemption arc. that is a fact, whether you like it or not. people should not have to feel hesitation about posting anything remotely positive about izzy out of fear of judgement or ridicule. save your cutting twitter remarks for actually problematic people.

im not even particularly attached to this damn character but the way y'all have been behaving has annoyed tf outta me.

[flownwrong]

Shipping bingo: rayk/fraser let's see if we can get bingo baby

okay I admit I cheated a little just to get a bingo but LET ME EXPLAIN

- comfort ship: self-explanatory

- criminally underrated: as of 2023, haha. I'm on a mission to convince more people to get into due south regardless of shipping anyway

- I could write essays: but I would prefer to write fic. and here's to me getting more confident about it

- fanon gets them so wrong: I don't know the current fanon, and what I can intuit from heaps of good fic left from The Times is a lot of varying but good fanon. however, in my imaginary discussions with an active fandom I am pretty sure I would find things to be ornery about because they're really easy to distort into stereotypes

- from what I know about Freud, he'd have a field day with just about anything. so I think I can safely include this one (also, I do have ray asking thatcher about not knowing who you are without another person playing on loop in my head)

- no one gets them like I get them: see above. there are many glorious and precise takes immortalised in fic but I can always find something I would tweak just a little to make it that much closer to my vision (which, oh well, I need to git gud at writing to keep my dignity while nitpicking the superior writing of others)

- facebook status: they would absolutely both think it's complicated. which it is, wonderfully so, canon timeline especially, but on fundamental level they're always just careening towards fitting together like puzzle pieces, so THEY'D THINK SO, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. also, watching ray, a shitty facebook user, make fraser a facebook account would be hysterical (because let's face it, fraser would never otherwise)

- it would never work in canon: here's my ultimate bingo cheat. because boy, does it ever work in canon. I can only explain it like so: in my perfect imaginary timeline they would never actually form a stable romantic bond without some serious soul-searching post-cotw. which is catnip to me because they really DO the puzzle pieces thing, but man, are they a ways away from communicating that to each other or even themselves, canonically (ffs ray's still waiting for the other shoe to drop AND not exactly serene re:Stella and fraser is so much reeling from the avalanche of finale happenings he can't see that and still hasn't fully learned the lesson about not being an island and I bet you my left hand they would be extremely unequipped for deciding where to go from there, so they'll definitely need the shiny quest liminality and then some to get it)

- I have so many questions: but mostly why are you both so blind arghh (and thank god for that, it's the driving force of my adoration and an endless exploration ground)

- they should go to therapy together: you know what, I really wouldn't mind. it'd be hilarious. but also didn't someone (speranza??) write a whole fic that takes it seriously that you recced and I keep putting off because I know it'll destroy me in ways both good and bad? because I can roll with that too

- I don't think THEY know what they have going on: again, thank god for that. they really don't. it's heartbreaking and adorable in equal measure.

- literally perfect, no notes: I say, after writing many notes. but now's the moment when I publicly admit they have a stronger grip on my mind than sam and dean do—at least currently, we'll see about the long run. because I'm mushy af even with my angst and miscommunication enjoyment and they're a dream come true for my sappy sappy heart.

- also, they could never do friends with benefits. they'd think they can, but no, they can't. it's a rock fact.

here, come, look at my embarrassing admissions!!! thanks for asking, I'm fucking dying to talk about them at all hours of the day.

[parkminijiminie]

I want to ask your honest feeling about JK not posting anything for Jimin. He has a Tiktok Account. He could post a smfp2 or LC dance challenge. He could post a Letter photo on Weverse or write a small post on Weverse.

but he did nothing

A lot of big accounts told us to wait and see. I waited. I saw nothing.

You are the only one seeing things clearly. I really want your take on Jimin's birthday.Jimin showed us the pouch from Jin. He showed us the pancakes from Suga. He showed us the edit from Tae. RM JHope and Tae all posted for Jimin on Instagram. RM came and said Happy Birthday in person.

What happened?

I was one of those people who said, "Let's wait and see how things will play out" when that video first came out. Now, all I have to say can be summarized as "If he wanted to, he fucking would".

Let me elaborate on my thought process:

So far, the rumors about the video died down completely. Most likely, the company took care of the issues, and legal procedures are on their way. No confirmation of the identity of the person. JK said he doesn't have a girlfriend, and he wanted to focus on work for a couple of years. And that's it. Many of us waited for something big to happen in Jikook's land in light of everything, but we basically got nothing. JK is focused on his promotions, JM is doing his things. They see each other, they are on good terms but we haven't seen anything more than that. If they really were together, considering all the noise around the video, one would expect that they, especially JK, would make sure to do something to subtly show where his affections are and Jimin's birthday was the perfect opportunity for it, but alas, nothing again.

This isn't to say JK didn't congratulate him in private. In fact, he for sure did. JM himself said all the members did, but JK didn't post anything. We know JK isn't very consistent with congratulating the members on their birthdays. He had missed many such occasions before, and it isn't a big deal. Not everything should be on social media. Still, for years, he always made an exception for Jimin, and this year, he didn't. Why?

One could also argue that JK probably did something special for JM in private, besides a quick text, but we don't actually know that. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. From Jimin's words in his wlive, I am more inclined to think there were no special plans between the two of them. I'd wager and say each was busy through the day with his own thing, and they didn't even meet, but I could still be wrong. And yes, JK is very busy, but that doesn't really matter. When a person cares, they will find a way, especially for their partner and especially when they live in the same city. Jin did, and he is in the military ffs. And let's not forget, JM once traveled halfway through the world just to spend a few hours with JK on his birthday.

Even if I am wrong and JK actually did something for JM in private, so did all the other members, yet they still congratulated him on social media too, because they know the fans look out for it and expect it. And in the case they still hadn't done it, like with Suga, JM made sure to show what each of them did, so we would know, yet he didn't mention JK at all, other than to say he worries about him. I believe that if they really were together, no matter what, they would have done something on this day together, and we would somehow know of it, just like before in the past. All of that makes me believe there was nothing to tell or show.

All the speculations about private plans and meetings aside, I still I circle back to this question: "If JM was Jungkook's long-term partner, as people claim, would JK really not post anything, when it takes so little time, when he knows people, especially those who believe in them, are waiting for it, especially given the recent rumors about the video?". It would have been the perfect opportunity to showcase his affections for JM to the world. Given everything that recently happened, it's kind of shitty not to take this chance. Would JK be that type of boyfriend? I doubt it.

My conclusion hurts me, but it is the one that makes the most sense to me: Nothing special happened between Jikook on this day, because there is nothing more special between them. Right now, they seem to be just friends, and that's it. They love each other, they care for each other, and they have each other in their thoughts, but they are not together.

I would be more than happy to be wrong and will be the first one to admit it if new information comes up, but I won't be holding my breath.

[destinyc1020]

The radio show that the guy allegedly assaulted by Elordi posted an interview with the guy. He was harassing Jacob asking him to fill a Tupperware container with his semen-containing bathwater. He said that the people around Jacob were the ones that "assaulted" him by erasing the video. Sorry to the ones that want to believe that Elordi is the most violent man ever but it seems he was not the perpetrator of the assault and he was actually sexually harassed in the incident

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/239-the-kyle-jackie-o-show-27242949/?cmp=ios_share&sc=ios_social_share&pr=false&autoplay=true

WOw.... Thanks Anon. I listened to this guy Josh explain what happened.

I think that we got two different impressions of what happened based on the account by Josh. Obviously, we're only getting ONE side of the story, but umm... Idk girl... It's still not a good look. 👀 

Idk... Maybe you can listen to the interview again and see what you think, but I got the impression that this Josh guy was filling in for a guy who also works at the radio show who was supposed to go up to Jacob and do a joke regarding bath water and asking him if he would put his bath water in a Tupperware for Jackie O (who's also on the show and a huge fan of him). JE was initially friendly to the guy until he brought up the bath water thing, and then kindly asked the guy to stop filming.

It seems like according to Josh, after he stopped filming, something in JE snapped and he got in his face, backed him into a wall, PUSHED him, and grabbed him by the throat. 🥴

Sounds like he and his friends also cornered and surrounded the radio personality as well.

I mean, I think the joke didn't land well, and the guy Josh seemed like he was nice and was not going to use the footage, but he felt afraid and intimidated.... I mean, JE is a HUGE guy standing at 6'5 at least... So I don't blame him.

I'm not saying what that radio guy did was RIGHT (it wasn't, and can be seen as sexual harassment tbh), but at the same time, JE getting in that guy's face after he stopped recording as he asked, and pushing him into a wall and grabbing him by the throat is definitely a BAD look. 🥴

The way the guy is describing it, it doesn't sound like he was heckling him or trying to get a rise out of JE. He said that he was a fan of his actually. They were trying to get something for their show. The guy Josh even mentioned that JE has had talk show hosts joking with him about the bathwater scene in "Saltburn" without any problem, so I guess he felt that JE was okay with it?

He even leaned into the joke on Fallon....

FF to 5:44

Idk...it sounded like he said JE just "flipped" or "switched" all of a sudden.

Imo they were BOTH in the wrong.....

Now JE's fans are giving Josh death threats...chiiiiiillllle.....🤦🏾‍♀️

But yea, I need to hear more about this story, and hear JE's side on this, cuz right now it just seems like they were both at fault. But imo a joke doesn't warrant you to shove someone into a wall and choke them.

[saisons-en-enfer]

Men who constantly post publically that they want to die don’t actually want to die. You’re lonely because you think you’re lonely. Find people who care to surround yourself. Posting on the internet that you want to die constantly isn’t going to save you.

Please don’t assume things about me

I have attempted suicide in 2016 (the particulars of how I survived can be deemed as ‘lucky’ by many) and was hospitalized close to a year for it (I have some mutuals from my first account (I’ve had three accounts) that can attest I went missing for a year around that time))

Other than music I’m completely indifferent to things, nigh anhedonic if I didn’t care so deeply about people. But even this year I have lost interest in music immensely

I really honestly genuinely don’t have anything to live for other than the serious harm I may cause to others if I didn’t so

I have stopped therapy countless times with like 9+ therapists in the last 10 years because each attempt invariably ended in the same conclusion: I’d rather die than to live

I currently live somewhere in the middle east and should something happen to me by my own hands, the law would also harass my family which I don’t want

So it’s a case of really wanting to do something but I can’t, doesn’t mean that I won’t should I see no other way to get through a fucking hard day.

Yes I’ve been ‘strong’ enough to have survived this long but it was never for myself it was for others…

Really I post about it a lot about it because what the fuck else can I do if you much rather I take action, don’t worry because I’ve spoken to everyone I know seriously and told them that I feel with a high degree of certainty that I will take my own life and that will be my way to go (I think the breaking point would be anything happening to my mother), and everyone either thinks it’s dramatics/exaggeration (those who don’t know me very well) or they hope that I’m wrong and that things may work out in the end

Ffs I have to take 5 pills a day to be remotely functional and even then im a mess

P.S. I’m lonely because I am lonely, I’ve had close to 35 people show up to my 30th birthday and not a single one do I feel connected to in a significant way despite trying so hard, it’s all in my head but does it matter if that’s how I feel?

Rationality has always been bullshit to me because there is not physiological elements attached to it, but feelings? Ye I experience that shit all the time in my body

I don’t want to be saved because if 10 years of therapy didn’t save me then nothing can

Funny that you mention that because that’s exactly what someone told me recently and my response in my head was ‘I can’t be saved anyways’

I’ll end this with a lyric that I strongly relate to

‘Tell me how does strength make a difference, when all I ever feel is indifference’

[daisyjunghoon]

my honest opinion (which no one asked for but i just want to let it out here bcs I can write more and janfan twitter is in shambles) on what happen recently regarding peponi announcement on fancafe -

for international fans who are unaware, JJ posted on fc that after their concert, for the 2nd half of the year, jnb will no longer perform at uni festivals/festivals except for the ones that are announced before this. it also mentions that 'in the future' they will only focus on making music, album, and their solo concert.

where the rage begins -

he posted this 4 days before their concert which everyone was looking forward too.

the vague statement. some of the concerns from fans that I saw regarding this was - why are they no longer performing on festivals when they have been performing for the past 10 years and even released albums in between so why stop now? when will they be back because there was no specific date mentioned? is it a long hiatus?

I believe jnb fans range from young adults (students) to middle-aged adults. so their concern was if they stop performing at festivals, how are these students are going to see them? for students this might be the only way since most uni festivals are free and cheaper. also, festivals are where jnb gets exposed and gain new fans, so why are they deciding to stop performing at festivals?

fans starts expressing their opinions and disappointments (especially on twt), those who voice out their opinion - a fan on IG actually blocked by jnb official account - on fancafe they get kicked out. led to alot of kfans closing their accounts on twitter.

my honest opinion -

I agree, the timing is off. he shouldn't post this 4 days before their 10th anniversary concert. joykiller.

for me, the main problem here for the statement is both sides are in the wrong. poorly written leads to miscommunication and misinterpretations.

my understanding of the statement - the period they are going on a break after the concert to focus on the new album (since there are only 4 months and if they decided to release it this year) make sense that they will be super busy and won't be able to attend festivals and they already performed during peak festivals so by the end of the year I don't think there's much festivals compared to during summer. And 'in the future' I feel like by early next year, they are probably planning for Asia tour(Indonesia promoter/organizer tweeted before about jnb coming) so maybe that's why they won't be able to perform on festivals again since festivals usually begins first half of the year. If this is the case then I guess they should've worded it better in the statement (they probably couldn't be specific since they are still in the planning stage and anything can happen) but if its not, and Asia tour is not happening, then what I don't understand is why even bother telling fans about their future plans when its uncertain. They should have just go on with their day.

fans expressing their anger is valid, especially fans who had shown support by going to see them on festivals before, I understand their disappointment. but since two days ago, there were too many comments that I don't agree and have crossed the line.

exhibit A: This is all because of JH dating, please break up. he actually wanted to rest and get married and don't care about us anymore. using the merch money for his marriage. do you hear yourselves? this is nonsense. seems like you all are just taking this opportunity to vent out and blame him for dating. He is an adult, a 32 year old man, let him be in love ffs. And even if he wants to get married one day, what's the deal? we have nothing to do with whatever he's doing in his personal life. stop being delusional.

exhibit B: they've changed, they are no longer the 'jnb' I used to know. They haven't communicate with fans for a long time. and which part have they changed exactly? they have constantly post on IG story when they practice in the studio. They have constantly post live performance on youtube. didn't they go on live before during their europe trip? didn't they go on youtube live during their 10th anniversary? didn't JH also make a blog for fans to read? and JH also frequently went on live or post his singing sessions on IG. they just got really busy since the festivals started this year and they had to continue preparing for concert straight away while preparing the album. Also vlive is long gone, if you are expecting them to go on live of how they used to do it on vlive, please move on. the medium and access to do that is limited, and nowadays its a paid service(bubble,weverse) so I'm sure fans would be more fumable if jnb ever decides to do that. they can't satisfy everyone here.

exhibit C: DH is neglected. DH should form a one man band instead. I recommend you to click the link. Read and watch the interview & documentary and see why junghoon and dohyung is inseparable. (link 1, link 2, link 3, link 4, link 5)

there's so much more about the nasty comments but I will just stop here for now. If you crossed the line commenting and attacking on their personal life and brought up nothing that has to do with the real problem then I too would blocked you.

5. I actually don't mind if they want to take a break as long as they want to. we are humans. not robots.

6. Peponi should acknowledge what fans are complaining about, even if you disagree with them. communication goes both ways. fans need to know their boundaries and know how to give constructive criticism and peponi/jnb need to know how to accept them. When they keep their silence and pretend like nothing happens (blocking fans opinion/keeping only the good comments/updating IG story when the other side is in chaos), they are doing more damage to themselves. Hence fans are overthinking, overreacting, jumping into conclusions and decide to leave for good because too many times have this miscommunication happen. I'm sure they meant it in a good way and didn't expect this to happen when they announce the statement but again, the approach and execution is always the problem.

I've been a fan of jnb for 5 years now. when anything happen, I always try my best to stay calm to understand the situation and why they chose to do whatever they did. Because I know they work hard and have always give their best to give back to fans. But I have never felt as devastating as this. not even other issues before because jnb and janfans have always manage to get through whatever comes our way. and to me this is not that serious, not even a big deal at the first place and a bit silly which is why I was shocked seeing the reactions. But I guess this is what we have come to, everyone has their own limits and I respect their decisions, maybe someday I will reach my own too.

My messages are open if you want to talk or ask anything, I would love to know your opinions too! if you take your time and read all the way till the end, thank you! if u see any typos just ignore it!

I'm still positive and looking forward to what the future holds for jnb and will continue to suppport and cheer on jnb for awhile. until then.

[thepuckishrogue]

Javier Escuella x GN!Reader in: What You Want, What You Need

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | f!reader | m!reader ||

|| javier m.list | rdr m.list | writing blog ||

↠ Requested By: The absolutely unreal levels of thirst I have for this man ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: So very NSFW ((is2g, if I see any minors interacting with my stuff it’s ~on sight~)) ↠ Chronology: In the here and now because it’s a Modern AU ↠ CWs/TWs: There a lot, but the biggest are mild exhibitionism, m!dom/sub dynamics, rough treatment/sex (Reader receiving), jealous Javier (but make it non-toxic), light choking (Reader receiving), and orgasm denial/control (Reader receiving). For a complete and more detailed listing see the note below the cut. And if I missed anything, please let me know!! ↠ Betas? Lmaoooooo… ↠ Total WC: 7.5k~

“Oh fuck you, Escuella.” “You’d best watch that mouth of yours, mi amor. Just because daddy-dearest can’t take you over his knee anymore doesn’t mean your papi won’t.”

A Modern AU in which you take your teasing a little too far at a friend’s party. In return Javier will make sure that you get what you deserve before you get what you need.

He’s using papi SARCASTICALLY ffs lmao

‼ PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NO LONGER POSTING NEW WORKS TO THIS ACCOUNT ‼

The only reason I’m putting the GN version on here is because it doesn’t make sense to break them up. If you want to keep up with my work, head over to my writing blog, linked above. ((that’s where the link for my rdr m.list will take you, btw))

Anyways! Sorry it took me so long to write this. I have no excuse aside from being lazy and not wanting to cringe my way through reading my old writing lol.

Also! I’m trying something new, as far as translations go. Instead of having them all at the top of the post, they’re now directly under the paragraph they appear in. Imo this makes for an easier read, but if it’s having the opposite effect let me know; if enough people are having problems with it I’ll go back to the old format.

((also, also—I’m naught but a basic ass English speaker and thusly all translations are still internet-sourced, so if they’re wrong please refrain from coming for me lol))

💦 Tags: Reader uses they/them pronouns || Reader has ambiguous anatomy || Reader is POC friendly || M!dom/sub dynamics (with Reader being a low-key bratty sub until they sweeten up) || public teasing, but make it ~sexy~ (Javi receiving) || fingering (Reader receiving) || orgasm denial (Reader receiving) || penetrative sex (Reader receiving) || rough treatment/sex (tho not overly so) || one SARCASTIC use of “daddy/papi” || lots of pet names (including that “good baby” type beat, Reader receiving) || Reader purposefully making Javi jealous (in a playful, non-toxic way lol) || Charles is an accomplice in the aforementioned foolishness (there’s an… implied understanding there*) || naturally that means there’s a certain level of exhibitionism but it’s all R-rated stuff || arm binding via a scarf (Reader receiving) || light choking (Reader receiving) || lots of praise (Reader receiving b/c that’s Javi’s jam) || voice kink stuff (goes both ways) || ((write that off to OP being a self-indulgent shit once again lol)) || orgasm control (Reader receiving)

*So basically after fucking around Reader finds out that Javi’s not one to be teased after he winds them up only to leave them wanting. Reader, wanting to get back at him for not finishing the job, utilizes one of their mutual friends (Charles) to stoke a little jealousy, but I swear it’s not as toxic as it sounds lmao. It’s less about actually making him jealous and more about fraying his ironclad sense of control by triggering his possessive streak… Which, okay, still sounds bad I suppose, but there’s being possessive and then there’s being possessive in a hella toxic way; Javi is the latter. What’s more it’s implied that the three of them have an understanding of sorts, so it’s all in good fun.

“Is this what you wanted, mi amor?” ((my love))

Yes, your body screams as his hand works against your center, the drag of his callouses creating a delicious friction with every pass over the hot, sodden flesh. Your hands grip at his shoulders, hard and nearly tight enough to bruise, as you grind up into his touch.

You know you must look thoroughly debauched right now—head thrown back to expose more of your neck to his care, lips slightly parted under pants and half-formed curses, skin flushed and sweat-slick, and eyelids weighed down by the weight of your lust—and that’s saying nothing of the state of your clothes. Items have been hastily tugged and rearranged to get the most needed parts exposed in the quickest amount of time possible. You clearly look like you’re in the process of being ravished, but Javier…

The man couldn’t be more put together if he tried.

There’s not a hair out of place, and despite the desperate hold you have on his shirt, the damn thing hasn’t even so much as wrinkled. The only sign that he’s even the least bit affected by all of this is the tent in his pants and the desire that darkens his gaze, but you suppose that’s to be expected. If he wasn’t so damnably good at keeping his composure you wouldn’t have bothered with doing the things that have led you to this moment.

An ‘accidental’ brush of your fingers against his crotch, whispered filth as you casually rested your weight against his back, the instant transformation of a simple spoon into something far more erotic once it passed your lips—nothing was off limits, not when you were so hell-bent on breaking him. It’s all consensual, this game the two of you play. Sometimes the teasing is mutual, other times it skews a bit more against one of you, but the end goal is always the same: to bring the other so close to the edge that they willingly hurl themselves over it.

Today’s party had been the perfect excuse to indulge in a bit of play, and your man had been all too willingly to serve himself up as prey. This, of course, was due to the fact that he was more than confident in his victory. The thrill of the challenge was the only thing that gave the get-together any allure; sure, Karen and Sean do hold the crown for best house parties in your friend group, but you’re not always sure that they’re worth the (usually hangover induced) headache.

You’d brought you’re A-game, starting with wearing an ensemble that you know he couldn’t resist. His mind had clearly gone blank when you first emerged from the bedroom, though he quickly rearranged his face into something cavalier before telling you to “–get your cute ass in the car so we can get gone.” Your fingers played along the inseam of his pants for the entire length of the ride, but aside from an initial arching of his brow he was annoyingly nonplussed. You had stepped things up considerably once you were inside, but despite essentially giving a plastic spoon a blowie (just out of view of an unsuspecting Arthur and Lenny) the man hadn’t done so much as smirk in your direction.

After a good twenty minutes got you nothing but an ache between your own thighs you finally gave up and decided to try to enjoy the party. With a cup of something mixed and fruity in hand you headed off to join your friends, but before you could make your way into the living room a familiar hand was curling itself around your arm and dragging you off in the opposite direction.

It just fucking figures that being ignored would be the back-breaking straw. You would’ve been mad at it if it wasn’t gonna result in yours getting blown out.

Neither of you said anything as Javier led your deeper into the house, not that there was much to say anyway. It was pretty damn obvious from the set of his jaw and the hunger in his eyes that you had won, and it could never be said that you weren’t a gracious winner …self-satisfied smirk notwithstanding.

His lips were on yours before the door had even fully shut behind you. You had laughed a bit at his eagerness, but the taunting sound soon morphed into a moan when your back slammed into the wall just beside the thing. Eyes smoldering and smile wicked, he groped at your clothed form in a way that had you writhing and grinding against him within seconds. It was only once you were a panting mess that he finally, finally bypassed the layers to touch you properly; hot and wet, proof of your arousal met his questing fingers, electing a groan that was nothing short of orgasmic. Things had moved quickly from there, and the rest…

“I said—‘is this what you wanted?’”

The words are growled against your ear, though the harsh pant of the breaths that follow travel downwards until he’s nipping at the corner of your jaw. A broken mewl pushes past your lips at its sting, and though the sound leaves him shuddering against you, it’s clearly not enough to sate him. His free hand connects with your ass in a resounding slap, one that while not overly hard is still enough weaken your knees considerably.

“Yes,” you groan out, the word catching in your throat as his thumb rubs a fresh pearl of precum over your sensitive flesh. “Fuck! Javi, yesss…”

Hot, bothered, and more than a little desperate you rut against his hand with hard little jerks. Your borderline frantic movements and needy little sounds leave him chuckling darkly as he works you over with practiced ease. His tone is condescending as hell as he pulls more and more out of you with lascivious words murmured in a husky timbre. He’s playing you like a goddamn fiddle, but you don’t care, can’t care—about this or anything else that’s not your impending release.

“Baby, I need, fuck, I need–”

“Shhh, I know.”

And you don’t know how he knows, just that somehow he always, impossibly does, and now is no exception. He descends to his knees with a smoothness that only repetition can bring, nudging your legs wider so that you’re more fully on display for him. He looks up at you then, wanting to make sure that you’re watching—as if you could ever be looking anywhere else. His eyes flicker with a familiar mischief as he runs the flat of his tongue over your heat and you damn near scream at the wet, warm trail it cuts.

“Careful now, cariño, you don’t want them to hear us– Oooo…” The word fades into a rolling chuckle when your hips give an involuntary thrust forward that has him amending his statement. “Or maybe you do? Mmmm… You like that, huh? You like the thought of them hearing what I do to you? Hmm, mi bebé travieso?” He all but purrs the last word as he presses a kiss to your quivering thigh before putting his mouth to work again. He alternates between gentle sucks and teasing flicks of his tongue against your most sensitive areas; meanwhile his fingers gather up a measure of your moisture before pushing inside of you to start up a lazy pace. This treatment lasts for a few glorious seconds only to come to a stop so abrupt that it leaves all of your muscles seizing up in confusion. ((sweetie || my naughty baby))

You know what he wants—an answer to a question, that if he were less petty, he wouldn’t expect a real reply to—just as you likewise know that he won’t start again until he gets it. And so you take a shaky approximation of a breath before managing to stutter out, “J-just… returning the favor.”

Laughing, he takes your meaning instantly. With as many times as you’ve been forced to listen to Karen and Sean go at it on various occasions, it does only seem fair. Of course, your reply is more copout than actual answer, but thankfully he lets it go. For now. You’ll definitely be talking about this again at some point in the future—probably later on tonight, actually—but for right now he’s content enough to go back to ruining you with his deft fingers and talented mouth.

You’ve always been fascinated by Javier’s hands. They’re slightly larger than what you would expect from a man his size, and yet somehow they don’t seem out of proportion to his body. They hold so much potential, both to create and to destroy—a point that is mirrored in the tattoos and scars that cover the dusk of his skin. You love to see them in motion, whether he’s doing something as mundane as tuning his guitar or something more perilous like playing with one of his many knives; the former is a particular point of fascination as you cannot help but to wonder if the skill transfers over to more carnal activities. The way his stroking thumb works in time with the bob of his fingers into your heat you’re inclined to say that yes, yes it does.

And his mouth…

Holy fuck, his mouth.

It doesn’t matter where it is he’s kissing you, having his lips pressed against your skin is always enough to leave you weak. Warm and pillow soft, they glide over you leaving a feverish trail of desire in their wake. Calloused fingers continue to work you open, adding to your pleasure in a way that sees your voice scaling higher, louder, as any lingering worries about being overheard are vaulted clean out of your head.

In this moment his only goal is to see you coming undone, and under Javier’s touch you’re a rapidly fraying thread. He’s loving every minute of this, you know he is, but—“If you can’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours quiet, amor, I know my cock can.”

“Oh my god.”

The throb your core gives is almost painful in its intensity as you imagine having him face fuck you until tears are spilling past the corners of your eyes before bending you over and absolutely ruining you, and you have to wonder just what this man has done to you. You were never this damn kinky before—or maybe you’ve always been a closet freak—either way since getting with Javi you have been turned completely out, and you’re not even mad about it, honestly. What you can do without, however, is his smug little laugh. Like yeah, he totally has a right to it, wrecking you the way he is, but still. Any saltiness you feel is quickly forgotten as the spooled pleasure in your stomach wrings itself tighter. Your bodies work in tandem creating the perfect rhythm, so fucking perfect, and you’re so fucking close, just a little more and then—and then he’s pulling away?

What?

“Nooo! Javier, why–”

“Orgasms are for good little loves,” he tells you simply as he rises back to his full height.

“You cannot be serious right now.”

But looking at him you know he is. Honestly you should’ve been expecting something like this—you had been teasing him for nearly twenty minutes before this all began—but you’d thought that your punishment was going to come in the form of him gagging you with his dick before fucking you until you screamed. But this… Well this is the other side of the coin that you’d forgotten to consider. Yes, he’s hard and yes, he wants this just as badly as you, but Javier’s more than willing to deny his own needs if it means winning this little game of yours. He’s petty like that, and what’s more he has the will to see it through.

Well fine then, you think with a pouty twist of your lips. If he wants to be that way I’ll just finish myself off and–

Fingers close tightly around your wrist before you can properly touch yourself. “What did I just say, bebé?” ((baby))

“And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do to and with my own body?” you ask with an arch of your brow. The bite of your words would be more effective, you’re sure, if they weren’t so damn breathy, but there’s little for that.

“Oh, mi amor,” he starts with a chuckle as he pins your hand to the wall beside your head, “you know exactly who I am.” He kisses you then, long and deep, and you find yourself melting under it despite your annoyance.

Damn this man and his silver everything! The thought drags its way through your sex-addled brain as your free hand twists itself in his shirt, though whether the action will lead to you pushing him away or pulling him closer you’re not sure yet, and before you can decide he’s breaking the kiss.

“Get dressed, cariño, we’ve got a party to get back to,” he breathes against your lips before pecking at them again.

“You can at least let me err, calm down some and clean myself up a bit–”

He shakes his head as he pulls away from you. “No, I don’t think so. I want you just like this, baby—all leaky and throbbing and wanting. I want you aching just as much as I am. It’s only fair, after all.”

Eyeing the bulge that’s seriously testing the tensile strength of his zipper you’re inclined to agree, reluctantly though it may be done. After all you are the one that kicked things off. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that you’re left to live with the consequences? Yeah, not so much. Fair’s fair, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it. Pouting all the while, you quickly set yourself back to rights—well mostly. Thanks to the hasty tugging of your prior urgency your clothes aren’t hanging like they’re supposed to and won’t be again until they’ve been washed and re-ironed, but there’s nothing to be done about that in the now.

You’re left to silently lament the fact that you’re about to take a mini walk of shame that hasn’t been entirely earned since you didn’t actually get any. Cutting your eyes over at the reason you’re in such a state you find that, aside from his very obvious arousal, the fucker looks as put together as ever.

“You suck, you know that?”

He snorts as he snakes an arm around your waist, guiding you towards the door. “Yeah, I do. I also lick and nip and tease and you love it.”

“Oh fuck you, Escuella.”

“You’d best watch that mouth of yours, mi amor. Just because daddy-dearest can’t take you over his knee anymore doesn’t mean your papi won’t.”

“Promises, promises,” you snark back, though there’s no denying the longing seated in your words.

His only reply is a dark little chuckle that leaves you throbbing with want and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. What’s worse is that you’re about to walk through a party full of all of your friends, and while it’s not the first time they’ve seen you flustered and frazzled like this the situation is still less than ideal. Thankfully the thought of having winks and suggestive comments tossed your way is enough to kill off any lingering lust, but this is going to be a long night either way—or is it?

A plan starts to come together in your mind as you hear Charles’s laughter floating in though the backdoor; he rarely ever laughs loud enough for it to be heard so far away, so you can only imagine what’s been said or done to garner such a reaction. Though his mirth usually runs on the quieter side of things, the man does have a mischievous streak that can almost rival Sean’s, and it’s only common sense and general kindness that keeps him from tapping into it more.

Tonight, however, he’s going to step outside of his self-imposed restrictions—you’ll make sure of it.

After all, your plan relies on it.

“What’s got you laughing so hard, Chuck?”

Charles doesn’t even bother with correcting you as he knows that you’re already well aware of how much he despises that nickname. You’re just looking to get a rise out of him, but unlike your boyfriend, he’s not so easily bated. Though to be fair to Javier, it did take you a good twenty or so minutes to finally break him—maybe more as whatever game it is you two are playing more than like started long before your arrival–

And is set to carry on for a while longer, if the state of them is anything to go by.

He’s hardly surprised to find that the pair of you are looking more disheveled than last you were seen. While Javier’s only slightly mussed, it’s more than obvious that you’ve been taken through your paces. There’s a wrinkle in your clothes that hadn’t been there before and your lips are plush in a way that says you’ve been kissed thoroughly and with a level of enthusiasm that would have left you moaning into the ministration as you grinded into your lover’s palm with needy little ruts of your hips…

He quickly averts his eyes as soon as the thought manifests lest you pick up on the way you’re affecting him—have always affected him, if he’s being honest. And it’s not just you. Javier is dangerously alluring in his own right, and he finds himself falling into his orbit more often than not. He’s never allowed himself to explore whatever it is he feels for either of you as you and Javier have always been a thing, though there’s no point in denying that there’s an attraction there, and a mutual one at that. Javier’s always been the more flirtatious out of the two of you, but when you have a mind to you can fluster him like nobody else. None of you have ever seemed truly interested in taking things beyond that level—yet.

Charles cannot help but to feel that one of these days there’s going to be a shift. The signs are all there, after all; the way you all gravitate towards one another, trading lingering touches and longing looks. Things that he would usually consider an invasion are much welcomed advances when they’re coming from the pair of you and he often finds himself reciprocating without any conscious thought. It’s all so confusing and thrilling and catalyzing that he cannot help but to crave more. Arthur has told him on several occasions to bite the bullet and make a move, but given that he’s dealing with an established couple he’s more than willing to follow your lead on this one.

In the now he gives you a response in the form of a nod towards one of the party’s hosts. Sean is just now scrambling his way back onto the deck (quite literally as he’s opted to climb over the railing instead of using the stairs like a normal person) after an overly-dramatic retelling of one of his more daring exploits had sent him tumbling off of it. Luckily for him the fall was a short one into relatively soft grass, so really it’s only his pride that’s been bruised. Seeing that his audience has increased by two he starts his story from the beginning and the pair of you listen with rapt attention–

Or, rather Javier does. You, however…

It starts out innocently enough, with you slumping against him and resting most of your weight against his shoulder. Charles contemplates draping an arm around you—it wouldn’t be odd of him as it’s a position that you’ve been in countless times before, but he doesn’t want to presume—but before he can think himself into a circle you’re snaking your arm around his waist. Your hold isn’t particularly tight, only really pressing in enough to keep you connected. After a few seconds you start to feather your fingers up and down his side in a move that he would’ve considered innocent if not for the wicked little smile on your face. There and gone in a flash, he finds himself looking at you more fully to be sure of what he saw; all he receives for his troubles, however, is a playful wink that leaves him batting down a burst of nerves.

It seems as if he’s unwittingly become a participant in whatever it is the pair of you have going on. He’s surprised, but he can’t say he’s opposed.

Steeling himself with a sigh, he finally allows his arm to drape across the breadth of your shoulders. The movement catches Javier’s eye from where he stands on Charles’ other side, as does the continued skittering of your hand. His expression as he takes this all in changes by degrees as he assesses you both separately; when looking at you there’s a knowing tint to his gaze that’s clouded with a banked lust, though when his eyes meet the taller man’s stare that knowingness sharpens into appraisal. Had the desire there dissipated Charles would have backed off immediately, but thankfully that isn’t the case. Javier gives you both a smirk that leaves Charles flushing in a way that gives him one more reason to love the dusk of his skin.

It’s apparent that Javier’s happy to let the two of you play, so Charles is content enough to let you do as you will. Your hands move higher and higher with each pass over the waffle-knit of his top until clever fingers are dancing up the back of his neck to gently tangle themselves in his nape. Nails scrape upwards into the loose wave of his hair in a move that nearly has him moaning out loud. He’s just able to bite down on the sound, but there’s nothing to be done for the way the rest of his body betrays him with a shiver. Having his hair played with has always been a weakness of his, but one that not many know of thanks to the boundaries that he’s set in place. The number of people who can say they’ve had the pleasure of obtaining this knowledge are few, and those who’ve gotten such a visceral reaction out of him because of it are fewer still.

Sounds seem to fade away as you continue to lull him with your ministrations, with not even the combined drunken yelling of Sean and Lenny’s conveyed anecdote being enough to pull him out of the stupor. He allows his mind to wander as you work; the images that flash through his head are ones that he usually reserves for hours far later than this one, when he’s alone with an ache between his legs that cannot be abated by anything but imaginings of the only two people who could reduce him to such a base state. His grip on you tightens unconsciously, forcing you more firmly against his chest and you’re quick you mold yourself against him.

Your pace is languid as you work him over with the repetitious scrape. It feels like he’s under the sweetness of your care for a small eternity, and he’s more than happy to stay lost for another eternity still, so when your fingers curl and tighten against his locks and tug there’s really no way for him to stop himself from crying out. Luckily the story has finally reached its end to a cacophony of laughter that’s just loud enough to drown out a sound that’s caught somewhere between a yelp of surprise and a moan. Thankfully everyone’s too drunk and-or preoccupied to notice the way his chest heaves and his eyes darken as he looks at you through heavy lids–

Well, everyone except for Javier. He’d honestly forgotten that the other man’s still here—that anyone’s here, really—but now his presence encompasses all of Charles’ attention.

“Alright, amor, you’ve had your fun,” he tells his partner. His tone speaks of mild amusement, though there is a sliver of something there—something dark and wanting, ravenously so—that leaves their breath hitching. To Charles, “It wasn’t very nice of them, starting something they know they can’t finish– Not tonight, at least. But don’t worry, ‘mano—next time, we got you.”

The words feel like they’re caught somewhere between a promise and a threat, but Charles finds that that only adds to their appeal. The pair of you say your goodbyes then, first to him and then to the group at large. A chorus of wolf-whistles and teases are given in response, with everyone having a pretty good idea of why you’re cutting out early, but if they suspect his role in things they’re kind enough not to mention it.

As Charles watches your retreating forms he runs a shaky hand through the length of his hair only to find that the motion doesn’t bring him the stability that it usually does. How can it, when he can still feel your phantom touch, the exquisite bite of your nails against the sensitive skin of his scalp…

These memories will continue haunt him, he’s sure—unable to be exorcised in full until he’s lying sweat-slicked and sated between two equally worn-out bodies.

“Is this what you wanted, mi amor?”

Javier’s thrusts can only be described as punishing, more so due to depth and force than speed. Your body jolts forwards with every snap of his hips, but the firm hold he has on the scarf that binds your arms keeps you from going too far—not that you want to be anywhere else but here, completely laid bare and at the mercy of the man at your back. The word ‘mercy’ used very loosely here as he is being absolutely ruthless and you’re loving every second of it.

Face down and ass up, he’s had you bent over the desk from nearly the moment you stepped into your bedroom, only stopping long enough to tie your arms behind your back. In all honesty you’re pretty sure this is the true reason he pushed so hard for its inclusion in the room—there’s definitely more appropriate spaces for it—but whatever. It’s not like you can complain when it gets such frequent use.

So yes, this exactly what you want, what you need…

“I asked you a question, baby, and I expect an answer,” he continues on in a low, demanding tone.

You try to reply, you swear you do, but whatever it is you manage to slur out between moans isn’t an adequate enough reply. Javier’s voice drops to something just above a true whisper as he leans more fully against you—close enough that you swear you can feel the beat of his heart against your back, close enough to feel the pant of his breath ghosting over your skin—with the sinuous roll of his hips slowing further.

“Forgot how to use your words already?” he tsks against the shell of your ear. “That’s okay, cariño. I know you wanna be good for me, so I’m gonna help you out…” Taking your confused sounding whimper for the question it is he chuckles before saying, “How? It’s easy—Imma fuck the answer out of you.” ((sweetie))

Before you can fully process his words he’s unwinding his hand from the cloth, pulling back, and pounding into you quick and hard. The feeling has you gasping out his name followed by a babbled yes-yes-YES that leaves him growling out his approval. He calls you his good baby then and the small bit of praise makes your brain fizz as your body reacts on instinct. Eager hips throw themselves back to meet his thrusts; though your positioning doesn’t really allow for much traction your efforts do earn you a few moans and curses of approval, at least.

“Mierda. Look at you. You like being fucked hard, huh? Like me taking you like this?” The words are little more than a rumble with how low his voice has dropped, and the change in timbre leaves you clenching up around him more. “Fuuck babe—that’s it, that’s– Fuck. Yeah, you love this shit. That why you were being such a little tease, yeah? Did you want me to fuck you ‘til you remember who you belong to?” ((shit))

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer this time, choosing instead to take your jaw in hand. His grip is just this side of bruising and well at odds with the gentle way his thumb strokes over your bottom lip. Your tongue snakes out mindlessly to flick at its calloused pad and you hum at the slightly salty taste of his skin. Javier hisses out a curse as you continue to lave over the digit, and you can practically feel his narrow-eyed stare from where it’s sure to be drilling into the back of your skull. Unwilling to relinquish even the least bit of control just yet, his palm slides downwards until it’s resting firmly against your neck. Long fingers easily encase the column, and while he doesn’t squeeze nearly as hard as he had been before there is a definite and steady pressure there. You know he’d sooner hurt himself before he would ever risk truly hurting you, but there’s still something undeniably alluring about feeling like you’re on the edge of something so dark and dangerous.

Your moan is slightly strangled as you lean more heavily into his hand, with your hole clenching especially hard as the oxygen vacates your lungs. In turn Javi grunts at the sensation even as his fingers squeeze just that little bit tighter, and in that moment you’re sure that a death of a different kind is close at hand. Spanish is falling from his lips much faster than your addled mind can ever hope to translate, but when he does finally switch back over to English he’s hardly saying anything you want to hear.

“What?” He gives a particularly hard thrust as you croak out the word, leaving you to damn near choke on it.

“You heard me, amor—don’t. You. Cum. After the shit you pulled tonight did you honestly think I was gonna let you cum so easily?”

Your replying whine is pitiful indeed, not that you actually expect to receive any sort of reprieve at this point. Still, that doesn’t stop you from looking over your shoulder and giving him your best pout. For his part your man mimics your expression, giving your neck a few soothing strokes before allowing his lips to pull off into a devious little smirk.

“Aww, look at you. There’s no need for all that, baby, I’m gonna give you what you want—not that you’ve actually earned it, not yet. You’ve been especially bratty lately; playing all these games, teasing me… I can’t just let that shit slide, so here’s how this is going to work: I’m gonna keep fuckin’ you good ‘n’ hard ‘n’ deep, and you’re gonna take it for as long as I say. When I decide that you’ve learned your lesson I’ll let you cum, and if you go over the edge before then there will be consequences.”

And you know he’s as good as his word.

Despite him saying all of this between pants, sharp curses, and a few breathy moans there’s no way in hell you actually stand a chance of outlasting him. Even if his stamina wasn’t god-tier and his will just as solid, pure pettiness would see him holding out if it meant keeping you on the edge. And as for those ‘consequences’, you cannot even begin to guess at what they may be, but a part of you really, really wants to find out. You’re positive you’ll enjoy it—maybe not as much as him, but you’ll still have your fun.

Before you can make up your mind about whether or not your defiance would be worth it, his hand is leaving your neck to hold your hip steady. You gasp slightly, already lamenting the loss of pressure, only to have the breath knocked out of you by his next thrust. The force of it sends you reeling, with the only thing keeping you from face-planting being the hold your man has on you. Instead your sweat-slicked body is shoved further up the desk in a move that would’ve been extremely uncomfortable if you weren’t already so gone.

Wanting a bit more agency, Javi grabs up the length of cloth that dangles between you; his movements do not falter as he shores up his grip with a few twisting motions before pushing into you again and again and again. He sets up a brutal pace that sees his hip bones digging into the plush of your ass and his balls slapping against you with every forward push. This is the only bit of attention that anything other than your hole has received since leaving the party and you damn near sob at the brief flashes of stimulation.

You’re not even sure what nonsense is pouring out of your mouth at this point, but if it’s anything like the disjointed garble that’s currently floating around in your skull then it’s one flaming wreck of a mess. You can hardly go by Javier’s reaction as you’re pretty sure that you could be singing lullabies and he’d still be into it. He just loves to hear you—it doesn’t particularly matter what sounds you’re making so long as he knows they’re a result of the pleasure he’s bring you. You’re much the same honestly, though listening to him turn the velvety syllables of his native tongue into growls and groans in the heat of his passion is its own type of torture. His voice is already an aphrodisiac in its own right, but when he’s fallen as deeply into his lust as he has into you it becomes something otherworldly.

Your man’s words slowly begin to shift from admonishments for your earlier behavior into praise for “–taking your cock like un buen pequeño amor,” and you can only hope that means you’ll get what you need sooner rather than later. ((a good little love))

Time stops making sense as he continues to take you. You’re both hyperaware of its passage and not, with seconds impossibly feeling like hours, but the minutes they bleed into hardly even registers. Your need for release becomes this all-encompassing thing that dictates your every move, breath, and thought. It creates a thrumming want that invades all of your senses until there’s nothing outside of it. Even Javi’s voice becomes little more than a cluster of sounds that you’re just barely able to perceive, though one phrase breaks through the haze every time he says it:

“Don’t you cum, cariño.”

His words are both boon and bane.

They’re the only bit of sense to be found in the symphony of needy sounds and hammering hearts and the repetitive meeting of flesh, and yet at the same time they are the very chains that hold you back from the one thing you need most. Your body is demanding, screaming, begging for this to end one way or another, and soon. You’re sure that each new thrust will bring about your end, and yet you hold yourself back even as your legs shake from exertion and your arms ache from the strain. Those four words will not allow you to do any less.

When the tension in your arms lessens you honestly think the limbs have finally gone numb, but then you’re being pulled up against Javier’s hard chest and you realize he actually let go of the scarf. The jarring pace he’d been keeping up slows to a gentle roll that makes you grind into him with a desperate whimper before he stills his hips altogether. His lack of movement has you rutting against him like some crazed beast, but the only thing this nets you is a throaty chuckle that makes you throb all the more.

“Tan ansioso,” he breathes against your ear as well-toned arms pin you flush against an equally muscled chest. This leaves you unable to do anything more than whine, much to your annoyance and his continued amusement. “You really want to cum, don’t you?” ((so eager))

“Fuck! Javi, you know I do–”

“Then say the word, mi corazón.” ((sweetheart))

“Please.”

“‘Please’, what?”

“Please let me cum.”

The moan he lets out at your words comes from somewhere deep in his gut making you shiver with your want. The only thing better than hearing him make such deliciously wicked sounds is knowing that you’re their cause. He’s always so quick to tell you that he’s the only one that can make you feel the way that you do—and it’s true, he definitely gotten you addicted to his particular brand of carnality, but it’s fine since you know it goes both ways.

Javier presses a sloppy, open mouthed kiss to your nape before nipping the skin there. “So good,” he purrs as his left hand snakes up to rub at your steadily leaking core. “Un bebé tan bueno para mí.” ((such a good baby for me))

His hand passes through the mess, smearing your arousal further until he’s zeroing in on your most sensitive area; all the while your hips wiggle against him in a desperate bid to rut into his palm properly. Unfortunately the movement does little for either of you aside from frustrating you further.

“There you go, teasing me again.”

“‘M not trying to,” you tell him, “just wanna feel good—wanna make us both feel good…”

Your trailing sigh turns into a moan when he thrust against you again. The movement is spastic, an involuntary response to the way that your walls flutter around him. He swears lowly before releasing you completely and pulling out; the sensation of his thick cock leaving you is good for all of two seconds before you realize that he’s not pushing back into you. For one panicked moment you think that he’s going to leave you tied up and aching, but before you can even form the first syllable of your plea he’s freeing your arms and turning you to face him. It’s the first time you’ve gotten a clear look at him since being bent over the desk and you’re pleased to find that he looks just as much of a mess as you do. Hair mussed, lips parted ever so enticingly, cheeks flushed, and dewy skin glistening so prettily under the warm-hued lights—he’s sex personified in this moment and the sight somehow makes you burn for him all the more.

Javier is drinking you in just as readily, being, as always, especially taken with your mouth. Heavily lidded eyes track your lips movements as you wet them, and when you bite into the plush skin he lets out a shuddering breath. A muttered “Fuck” is all the warning you get before his lips are crashing into yours while hands eagerly grip at your hips to pull you flush to him. The heat of his cock is like a firebrand between you, and the press of it against your skin has you instinctively writhing against it.

Your movements leave him shivering as he exhales harshly—the first sign that his self-control is starting to slip.

“Get on the bed, mi amor—wanna look in your eyes while I fuck you, wanna see you fall apart…” He breathes the words against your lips before taking the bottom one between his teeth just as you had a moment ago. The sting of his bite is soothed away by a swipe of his tongue before he’s kissing you again.

Somehow he has enough presence of mind to get you both moving and soon you feel something solid, yet yielding hitting the back of your legs. You’re just wobbly enough for the disturbance to take you off of your feet and Javier readily follows you down. So close to the one thing you both want, need, the kisses grow sloppier and more hurried. It takes a few moments for you both to get into a more settled position, but as soon as you do he’s lubing up again before pushing into you completely with one long stroke.

Your breath catches at the feeling of being full once again while he lets out a sound that’s half contented sigh, half growl, with the latter completely overtaking the former when you roll your hips up to meet his. The pace he sets is far less grueling than it had been when he was taking you from behind, but it’s no less maddening for the change. Long, deep strokes end with a languid snap that has him hitting something inside of you that leaves you damn near sobbing every time. It doesn’t take long for you to get back to that same level of torturous pleasure that you’d been drowning in minutes before and soon you’re clawing at his back and calling out his name like it’s the only word left in your lexicon.

All the while your eyes are locked with one another’s, mostly at his insistence. When he said that he wanted to see you fall apart he meant it; a firm hand against the side of your face keeps you from turning away while tutting words part your lids whenever they flutter shut for longer than a few seconds.

“You’re doing so well, mi amor, so good,” he tells you. His words are slightly slurred and you know he’s just as drunk on you as you are on him. The thought leaves your walls clenching and he hisses at the added tightness. His pace quickens as he drops his head down into the space between your shoulder and your neck. Kisses, nips, and sucks carve a path upwards until the warmth of his breath is ghosting over your ear. “Touch yourself for me.”

It’s an order that you’re all too happy to follow.

Your fingers quickly move down to work against your sloppy sex and you can only hope that the whole ‘no cumming until I say so’ thing is no longer in effect because if not you are in so much trouble. With everything going on you’re only gonna be able to last about a literal minute and that’s being hella generous and rounding way up, honestly. Javier knows this, knows you and your body damn near better than you do some days. He sees it in the way your eyes glint with desperation, can feel it in the way your whole body tenses just so, can hear it in the pant of breaths that come quicker, shallow. Part of you worries that he’ll drag things out just to punish you further—or worse yet, leave you wound up and wanting—but a bigger part of you knows he’s not that cruel. Javier always makes sure to give you what you need and right now you need to cum, badly, and so does he if the fevered look in his eyes is anything to go by.

“Yes, babe, yes. Just like that, fuck me back—Joder! Tan buena…” His muttered praises become more and more scattered as his hips begin to meet yours faster and faster until— ((fuck! so good))

“Do it for me, mi amor. Cum.”

Your body doesn’t hesitate to follow the simple command, and the orgasm that rocks your frame is almost blinding in its intensity. A wordless cry rips itself from your throat as bliss—white-hot and all-consuming—skitters across your every nerve setting them alight. All the while you hold on to the man that still hovers above you as if he’s the only thing tethering you to this plane, and for all you know he is. After all, you’re pretty sure that one cannot experience something so world-shattering as this and not ascend to some higher form of consciousness, if only for a moment.

For his part, Javier shudders and bucks his way through his own release just as you’re coming to the end of yours. Your nails follow the length of his spine as you watch him fall apart—eyes pinched shut, chest heaving, lips parted under hard pants—he rarely looks more beautiful than when he’s cumming and the sight is one that you’re positive you’ll never get tired of seeing.

Kisses are traded between shaky breaths as you both work your way through the last of the aftershocks. They’re sweet, lingering things that are seemingly at odds with everything that preceded them—only not really as he’s always like this once your games have come to their end. All loved up, he likes to keep you close so that he can dote on you as much as you’ll allow him to. Feeling safe, warm, and sated, gentle strokes of his hands against your cooling flesh and murmured declarations of love are the lullaby that sees you drifting off into slumber.

© thepuckishrogue/TheViperQueen, 2019-2023 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[freakyelf-ontheshelf]

STARDEW VALLEY HEADCANONS PART 2:

YIPPY!

Starting off with my favourite blond:

•Haley:

-Besides what I said in part 1 with Alex, Haley kept on kissing boys until she openly came out and felt comfortable enough (when she met the FF🤭)

-Every time you gift her a sunflower she keeps them in a vase on her bedroom window, once the petals wilt she keeps them in a box for later crafts^^

-She stopped putting effort in photography because she was embarassed and felt she had a different image to keep, once she meets female farmer and her hardwork, passion and dedication, she starts rediscovering herself and retaking her passions seriously

-Once when she the farmer passed out and Haley found out, she ran to the farm and made the farmer let her help. Ended up doing the work for her that day and let the farmer fall asleep on the porch<3

-When she goes and visits the farm, she takes nature pictures and snaps some discrete ones of her farmer girl🤭. She takes them to her red room and sends them to the farmer with lipstick marks<3

-Her and Alex remain best friends and when he starts dating the male farmer they enjoy gossiping about their love life's by the icecream stand ^^

-Haley switches her nails every two weeks and they always have a seasoned theme, once she starts dating you she'll excitedly show them to you, hoping you love them (you do, obviously, and are glad to tell her everytime<3)

-She smells of Macedonia fruits and salt water, sweets as well😻

-Everytime you gift her a pink cake she grabs the strawberry on top and feeds it to you, smooching you after (I'm so terribly in love with her)

-Her favourite season is summer, although she tells everyone it's winter because of the sweat

-Once she starts reading and searching for herself, she finds a love for art history and Renaissance books

-Poetry reader (sapphic mostly, Spanish artists translations...)

-When she starts working the farm, she specially enjoys taking care of the animals, going to find you giggling everytime she gets stained

-in the hot weather you sprinkle her with the hose and she loves playing around in the sprinklers with you

-When you ask her to marry you she quite literally, jumps you (then she cries, a lot)

-She ends up having an amazing relationship with Emily, making fun of her everytime she talks about Sandy (she secretly loves seeing her sister fall in love)

Again, I'm going to stfu now cause I could talk about her forever (I will)

•Abigail:

-Had a My Chemical Romance fase and a scene kid one too (Caroline almost had a heart attack, still almost does though, bitch needs to calm down)

-Is taking classes not only to please her father and have some peace of mind, but also because Sam is taking them too and would hate to disappoint her friend

-Shes an amazing artist and is the one that decorates the store. The windos are painted with a different scenery every season.

-Shes had five different guinea pigs cause they kept on "disappearing", she geniuenly thinks that still (goofy aah)

- Definitely bisexual, with a preference to women. Even though that means there could be a chance for her to date Sebastian like literally everyone wants, she's never liked him (or Sam) in that way

-Follows every single alternative or goth woman on her socials, has a secret Twitter account where she posts shit about people in her day to day life to unwind

-Loves My little pony, prove me wrong

-Her and her dad used to play videogames together, which is why she got into it in the first place, but as she got older her dad thought she should be concentrating on other stuff and eventually stopped playing with her, which is why she asks the farmer for help in her two heart event

-Caroline gifted Abigails flute to her when she turned 14 and she's been playing ever since, only having shown Sebastian and Sam

-One time Haley told Abigail that her hair is suprisingly healthy and well kept taking into account she's been dying it purple since the age of 15, and she's seen Haley differently since then

-Has a hyperfixiaton on the ocean, specially it's wild life, minerals and swordsmanship

-After the sixth heart event Abigal and the farmer do all the mining together, and once she sees the effort and danger in doing that she actually realises how much the farmer cares for her, going in the mines to get minerals for her and such.

-She loves taking you to the mountains when it's really late at night, going camping and listening to you tell her about the stars

-When you go to Sam's concer and she sees you from the stage she blushes and makes sure to not make a single mistake, asking you later on if you enjoyed the song (she wanted to know if you thought her skills were cool, okay)

-The first time you ever saw her cry was when she told her dad she was (finally) dropping out from the classes she despised, getting into the biggest argument with them and running all the way to the farm (and into your arms ayeeee)

Time to stfu again, see you in part 3 (yippyyyyy)

[sanjisblackasswife]

Do you ever get embarrassed when writing? How do you deal with those self-conscious/self-deprecating feelings? Im literally writing the tamest fluff but its so self indulgent that its embarrassing. How do you do it? 😭

so….im assuming ur also talking about smut too so fair disclaimer:

nigga i draw porn.

i couldnt give two fucks about writing about it. if i ever got embarrassed for anything i post ill delete it and/or my account💀

fluff is mad easier to write too. i been writing ffs since i was bout…..9ish.

also also

thats the point of alotta fics on here: i guarantee u like 90% of these people in here that write fluff/smut of their favorite characters is PURELY self indulgent. its nothing wrong w it, just write ur little heart away n do what u want.

[somecunttookmyurl]

why do i always get the eldrich technical glitches why cant something normal go wrong with a device for once

-Updated to firefox 109 idk a few weeks ago -All sites started loading super slowly right after. Refresh FFdidnt work. Reset FF didnt work. Troubleshoot/safe mode had the same issue. Full uninstall/reinstall didn't work. Pages taking in excess of 1 min to load, when Edge loads just fine - Finally have Had It and tried to run firefox profiler to get a full log to try and find out what's going on. -Profiler crashes firefox after recording is ended so no data is gathered which is awesome love that for me -On restarting firefox all extensions and theme were missing from toolbar and the about:addons page like they'd all been uninstalled -Go to reinstall them. Prior extensions are apparently already installed??? -Remove addons, page now has option to install. reinstall them.... i guess... -Still not showing in about:addons or in the toolbar, and sure as shit aren't doing anythinng. but once again back to only having the option to remove. Schrodinger's addons. -Install firefox nightly instead to test version 111 -Same problem????

-?????????????? -Attempt to reinstall theme. Same problem: apparently already installed, very much not present -Signed out to see if it was some funky problem with my account post-crash. Nope. Can't use extensions when I'm not signed in, either. -New test profile also has issues -what the fuck like what the actual fuck -mozilla support guys also ???????? girl WHAT -windows decides to do a minor update unrelated to the internet and restarts my laptop -problem solved????? for some reason?????

-slow connection also fixed by this restart despite none of the many previous restarts in the last few weeks making any difference. sure???? i guess?????