#also I noticed I tend to misunderstand most of the questions sometimes.

[floweroflaurelin]

i say this with no disrespect, but do you use yourself as a primary reference for faces/poses? there's some overarching similarities that can be seen, like in that pearl and gem painting, and from one artist to another (cause i also use myself as ref) i was curious if that was because of your reference point (you) or if its stylistic

Ooh interesting question! Yes and no, I guess?

I use my own face for quick reference to see what planes of the face are visible from what angle, but I don’t use my own face for expressions or lighting. I also don’t tend to use my own body for poses just cause I’m REALLY REALLY short so my proportions don’t translate well as reference (really short arms and tiny hands, big head by comparison) (4’10” baby) —I sometimes ask the people around me to pose for me, but most of the time I’m either scrolling Pinterest or just winging it. I figure for fanart (low stakes) I can wing it a lot more because I understand just enough about anatomy to make it work for what I’m going for lol

That said, I notice when the characters I paint start to look like me because my own face is my favourite face 😊 I like to paint in my own chin, even if I change the size, cause I like my chin quite a bit.

When it comes to the Gem & Pearl art I posted yesterday I used barely any reference at all because I was SPEEDRUNNING it lol, I just made up the expressions (I held up my own hand for Gem’s hand) so if you find that the two characters look similar (if that’s not what you meant then I maybe misunderstand this ask) then yeah it’s just a stylistic thing!

[thyandrawrites]

On Nagi's emotional intelligence

One thing I find interesting about Nagi's character is that he's not only bad at getting across his emotions in a way that leaves little room for misunderstandings; he also struggles a lot to identify feelings (not just his but especially other people's) for what they are, and to put himself in other people's shoes.

Both the manga and Nagi's light novel offer several examples of this, and I noticed a common denominator in most of them. So I thought it could be fun to compile them in a post.

(long ramble under a cut! Contains slight manga spoilers up to manshine city arc)

Preface: I did not study psychology, and though I try my best not to misuse words and be insensitive, mistakes in good faith can happen. Please bear with me

So, what kicked off this whole thing is a scene from Episode Nagi. This one:

Now, without context it would be easy to write off Nagi as a self-centered genius who is looking down on team Z for being "weaker". And that's exactly how Isagi, who doesn't know Nagi prior to this, takes his questions. They're just a taunt, as if Nagi is mocking Team Z's determination to overturn the scores when they're a team that doesn't yet know its own skills fully.

And the thing is, regardless of Nagi's intentions, his words are condescending. He doesn't mean them to be, but you can't deny that calling someone stupid to his face is not conductive to a polite or constructive conversation, lol.

Unless you're Nagi Seishiro, that is.

Nagi... Doesn't seem to grasp that essentially calling team Z the bottom of the barrel while asking what keeps them going is... Well, rude. Patronizing, even. Which is why he looks so puzzled when Isagi's response is negative, and when he doubles down on his hunger for goals.

In his head, phrasing it this way was perfectly fine. He was genuinely asking, and he expected a response. He wanted to know, not to piss Isagi off and be left hanging.

The reason behind Nagi's obliviousness is of course a lack of social skills. We know he tends to keep to himself, preferring video games and the silent company of a cactus over social interactions, and it shows in how stilted his ability to properly communicate becomes over time.

But in the intro I said I don't think it's just a struggle with communicating what he means. I also interpret it as Nagi struggling to put himself in other people's shoes when their experiences don't mirror his, which complicates his attempts to communicate further.

What is translated as "What's his deal?" in the panel above in japanese has a bit more nuance than that, and it clues us in to what was likely going through Nagi's head a bit more.

"What's this creature (Isagi Yoichi)"

The kanji that compose Isagi's name are transcribed with a different reading (the furigana indeed reads "creature")

Now, if you read Nagi's light novel, the words might sound familiar:

(credits to @/ hoshi801_ on twitter for this translation)

That's because we have another example of Nagi being weirded out by and puzzled at how differently he and others seem to function.

From Nagi's perspective, he's not the weirdo, others are! He keeps observing this world where everyone puts effort into things that he only sees as a hassle, and he doesn't get how anyone can find any appeal in them. In other words, Nagi doesn't really understand how other people work (how they think, how they feel, what motivates them), and he tends to use himself as a metric for understanding them better, not realizing how flawed that approach is.

I also reckon this is why he can sometimes come across as lacking tact.

"it's easy for me. How come is it not easy for you?"

What he says to Bachira during the 4v4 seems like another prime example of Nagi attempting to figure out others by comparing them against himself.

In his intentions, this little speech serves as a way to get Bachira to step up his game. After all, had he really been fine with not picking him, he could've kept his mouth shut, won the match, and picked Rin as he said he would. No need to warn Bachira beforehand, giving him a chance to prove himself in the field and compete with Rin as the best choice moving forward.

But the words Nagi uses are familiar once again.

"Do you think you'll get chosen if you lose? Still living in dreamland? [...] I want Rin, and I bet Isagi feels the same." -> Nagi to Bachira

Vs "you'd be satisfied if I chose you here? You wanna act like a team even if we're not excited about it? You think becoming best in the world is that simple?" -> Nagi to Reo

And then

"We don't need you the way you are now." -> to Bachira above

Vs, "'You're fine as you are.' That's what you said to me, Reo, but... For me to dream with you about being the best again, I want to change." -> Nagi to Reo (in his head)

Nagi doesn't really understand Bachira, either, but he understands the bond Bachira shares with Isagi. Two separate times, he sees himself and Reo's relationship mirrored in it, and that's what prompts his "pep talk".

While he might not grasp what motivates Bachira's ego, Nagi knows what motivated himself. So he offers much the same to Bachira. You want to keep playing with Isagi, just like I want to keep playing with Reo. So change, like I did. Keep working towards that dream, and don't throw in the towel, accept defeat, and wait for Isagi to pick you.

Bachira and Isagi's bond is pretty much the only time we see Nagi try and succeed at relating to someone else's emotions. He's able to do this because he can sense the similarities between them. It's a pattern he's plenty familiar with. So we could say he's still applying that flawed method I talked about above. Understanding others by comparing them to himself, assuming they think the same way.

But I'd like to point out that while he does get their bond as far as it mirrors his and Reo's, Nagi still doesn't grasp the ways in which it differs. Namely, he remains oblivious to Bachira's desire for connection. Nagi is perfectly comfortable being a loner, and while he misses Reo, he adjusts to the separation quite easily, at least emotionally. Well, partly because he caused it, but also because from his perspective, he and Reo were never really apart-apart. They'd eventually meet up again, Nagi would tell him all about his side quests, and they'd be fast besties once again.

At least, that's what Nagi envisions, because Nagi is a straightforward person who doesn't really grasp other people's perspectives past his own personal experience.

For that reason, I think, he remains oblivious to how his advice to Bachira hits like a slap where the boy's at his most vulnerable. But it all works out in the end, so in the grand scheme of things, Nagi has no reason to give it more thought past this interaction. Nagi's team loses, Isagi advances with Bachira, all is well again.

If Nagi got away with giving this as little thought as possible, though, his dynamic with Reo doesn't give him the same easy out. Not for lack of trying on his part. Reo doesn't initiate conversations with him for days (weeks?) on end, and Nagi is fine with never questioning it.

Now, normally I'd make a point here about how Nagi's major weakness is his refusal to think hard about anything unless he's forced to—or about how that's the main hinder to his development to date—but that's a post for another day. Suffice to say, for the sake of this argument, that his willingness to let things stay tense between him and Reo is part of the problem here.

Well, "willingness" might not be the right term here. From his pov, there isn't any tension at all, in fact.

Again, because Nagi had a reason that justifies leaving Reo behind, he doesn't see a strain in their relationship until Reo points it out to him. Worse yet, he struggles to see Reo's viewpoint even after Reo does point it out to him.

He's as clueless as they come, and he's closest to Reo than anyone else in blue lock. Despite this, not only does he not realize why Reo is upset with him and doesn't want to link up anymore, he also fails to grasp that Reo's angry at him at all.

I ran out of image space so I'm just gonna quote the next bit:

N: "We promised, right? To win the world cup together. I've just kept making the best choices I could for that goal. During the rival battle, I thought I could get stronger if I went with Isagi. And I chose England because I thought I could learn from Agi and Chris. So, now it's you, Reo. You're stronger now, so you and I can beat Isagi, unlike last time."

To which Reo understandably replies,

R: "Damn, you really are a selfish jerk, you know that?"

Nagi doesn't seem to realize that if you are a team, you should, you know... Communicate with your partner. Instead, he decides for himself, without even asking for Reo's input, what's the best course of action to achieve their dream, doesn't share his thought process with Reo at all, embarks on said course alone, and then one day randomly decides to have Reo tag along in it.

In his head, I think it all makes sense to him because he assumes Reo already knows all this, intuitively. After all, that's how their whole dynamic has been built so far. When Reo isn't anticipating Nagi's needs before Nagi has uttered them aloud, Nagi is instinctively following the vision Reo set up with a pass, and completing it with a goal.

I'd say that the fact that they relied so heavily on silent communication for much of their time as friends is half the reason why they are so bad at communicating with actual words. I'm including Reo in this because he's equally guilty of it too, what with him saying "do what you want" aloud, only to wish for Nagi to stay without verbalizing that thought to him.

But I digress.

My point is, in the scene above, Nagi assumes Reo would be fine with the split because Nagi himself was. It doesn't even occur to him that Reo might see it as the negation of their promise to each other, or that he would feel abandoned and forgotten about (sorry, can't post pictures, but notice his shock at Reo's accusations. Chapter 187). After all, Nagi spent the whole time thinking about all the things he wanted to tell him.

Once again, much like with Isagi in the first selection, Nagi's puzzled and surprised at Reo's angry burst in response to his pushing; he assumes the drive he feels will be mirrored or at least understood by the other person, but instead he's turned down, faced with a negative reaction he doesn't quite understand.

As Reo puts it, Nagi's imagination comes short of letting him empathize with Reo's feelings. The choice to move on without him is purely functional, then, but from his perspective it never involved any emotional distance. To Reo, however, who was left with an easy to misunderstand parting speech, the hurt of a perceived loss strongly overshadowed anything else. Nagi doesn't anticipate Reo's emotional response over rationality because Nagi himself is not an emotion-driven person. He doesn't see that Reo would be plagued by self doubt because Nagi doesn't doubt his skills. He fails to see how his actions could easily be misconstrued as indifference because Nagi's not one to read hidden meaning into people's words, and assumes others take things as face value, too.

But that's more than communication failure! That consistent lack of effort to imagine how others would feel or act in a given situation is a pattern, at least imo.

I think Nagi never had to make that kind of effort before, since he was pretty much on his own, and in a lot of ways he's still adapting to having peers he trusts and that he wants to be trusted by in response

One could say this is as much a process to him as understanding his own ego for football is, and I find that really fascinating to watch

[gamora-borealis]

long rambling essay under the read more about twt phannie discourse / discourse surrounding how people talk about dnp's relationship because I have thoughts I want to get off my chest:

ohh I am so glad I am using twitter less the twt phannies are having discourse again about if you are allowed to think dan and phil act cute together (which yeah most people assume it's in a coupley way but if on the off chance they're actually not a couple then they are still cute and gay besties??? literally doesn't change much???) or that it's bad to wonder if they are soft launching their relationship because of stuff they have said that implies it? like obviously don't tag them in stuff and I get being nervous that they will get recommended stuff on twitter but like, if you keep it to tumblr or discord or your small or private twitter then whatever I don't think it's that big of a deal. they didn't like the speculation when they were in the closet because it became such a huge focus that people were messaging them about it, violating their privacy, other YouTubers were making fun of them or trying to expose them, it was putting a lot of pressure on them to come out, etc (which I think that is what Dan was addressing in BIG and people misunderstand that part because what he said was a little bit clunky in terms of how he organized it because it was hard to talk about!) but I don't think they care if people in fan spaces have opinions on what their relationship is a long as we respect their right to talk about that kind of stuff on their own terms. like the way I view it is like if you had some friends that you thought were maybe dating or flirting and then were like "aw yeah they're cute" or "hmm I wonder if they're..." to your other friends. like I don't think it's cool to say it to the people in question's faces if they haven't openly talked about it yet but I don't think it's bad to wonder based on things you have observed??? idk personally I'm always noticing details and analyzing things because my personality is just like that and sometimes I like to talk about it, not in a spreading gossip way but like an, "in confidence" kind of way to get a second opinion out of curiosity. and like ultimately your want should be for people to be happy and they are the only ones who can decide what kind of relationship/s make them happy and you can respect that while wondering or having an opinion that you don't announce to them (and like, dnp tend to understand that indirects / tumblr / etc are meant for other fans and not them and that if they go looking through tags and stuff that they are going to potentially see these opinions or observations).

also like, I think they really don't care as much now that they are out because the pressure / fear has gone away and now they make jokes about it and call themselves phan and make fun of phannies lol. I think part of the reason that so many people are drawn to their relationship in the first place too is because they are these funny relatable (neurodivergent?) queer parasocial figures in what appears to be a strong / supportive relationship, whether they are together or are queer exes who are still besties and/or queerplatonic and roommates. like we love to see them being themselves / being queer together, whatever that means for them!!! because they've even acknowledged that before they were out they were still queer representation in the sense that a lot of times they subverted society's expectations of masculine friendships in their videos just by being themselves.

also dnp have been very loud about certain things lately I don't think it's weird to be like... are they going to finally reveal something because their behavior lately has been kinda wild! (although maybe they won't because they don't want the general public / locals / news attention about it that might actually be more annoying than the standard/familiar attention from a lot of their fandom and like that's completely fine too).

Idk there is just this weird virtue signaling on twitter that is very annoying to me. like personally I am like yeah a lot of stuff points to them being in a romantic relationship but I could be wrong and either way I really love them and the relationship that they do have and show us on camera. but one doesn't have to qualify with that every time when saying "aw they are cute!" or making an observation about something on your own blog or small account...

honestly if what comes off as virtue signaling to me is actually coming from a place of care, I do respect that... I just also think that some people go out of their way to police or denounce behavior because they are afraid of being identified with people who were actually harmful to dnp when I don't think the behavior they are being mad at in this instance is actually harmful and more so just a natural side effect of being parasocially invested in these two queer guys who have spent most of fourteen years together and have confirmed that their relationship has been "more than just romantic."

[juni-aldaine123]

LOVE EVERY FACE OF YOURS/ tgswiiwagaa ; ayamitsu

・❥・fluff . light angst maybe . cute . oneshot . canon universe . canon compliant . the green yuri manga . set after events of ch 78, you're too obvious

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

The sky lights up and the clouds thunder against each other as rain showers around Mitsuki. Her fortune must be going downhill with all the events that have been happening currently. First and foremost- she broke her ankle.

Though the perks that come with that make her feel slightly better about her rotten luck. Aya constantly hovers around her and tends to all her needs, even picking her up for school and dropping her off, helping her with her school work, and most importantly- she spends all her time and attention on Mitsuki.

She totally does not get butterflies at this.

But then she had to ruin everything by spilling seeds of the past. 

Mitsuki isn't really sure who the 'she' is.

Is it Aya? She was the one who had brought up 'Onii-san' out of the blue. And she also seemed to be missing 'him' if Mitsuki puts it like that. When all the misunderstandings were already cleared and Mitsuki was the one standing right in front of Aya, why did she call her 'Onii-san'?

Mitsuki heaves a sigh. It isn't Aya's fault when she is jealous. Of herself? Or this fake persona she'd created of herself that Aya happened to like better?

But....does Aya truly think about 'Onii-san' still? Or had she meant it in another context and it was her who took it the wrong way?

Her thoughts round about one girl, they have been for quite sometime now; Mitsuki can't stop thinking about Aya.

"Totally forgot to bring an umbrella." She glares at the clouds hanging heavy overhead, as if they were the bane of her existence. (which they kind of are now, since she can barely walk back home without getting drenched by the downpour and she'd rather not fall sick in addition to her broken leg.)

She has frightened her poor uncle and troubled Kanna-san enough. But she knows the one who would shoulder the burden the most would be Aya. That girl will probably think it's her fault for not coming to Mitsuki's aid even though Mitsuki is the one (trying) to avoid her.

Mitsuki knows what conclusion Aya might possibly stumble upon. 

'No Oosawa-san, you're not abandoning me or anything like that. It's just me being me,' she grimaces as she speaks to the voice of Oosawa Aya that doesn't seem intent on leaving her mind anytime soon.

'Should I just run home?' But then she looks at the crutch and hides a disappointed sigh.

"I guess this is pay back for my sins..." she mumbles to whoever deems to hear her self deprecation words.

She doesn't expect it to be Aya though.

"What is?" comes a question out of the blue.

"Oosawa-san?!" she shrieks out, pale as a ghost. Aya stands beside her, eyes glued to her phone, as if she'd never called out to Mitsuki and the ravenette is just imagining things.

Maybe she is. Maybe Aya isn't even here but Mitsuki wants her to be, so her mind conjures up this image- that Aya's free hand rests too close to hers, their knuckles brushing. It's not as if they weren't this close before but with the latest revelations Mitsuki has had a simple touch drives her crazy.

Silence rings heavy around them and Aya seems content not to break it so Mitsuki takes the initiative.

"Is- is that Incubus?" she asks, noticing the song that plays in the backdrop. Aya finally looks at her; unreadable intent brewing in her peachy eyes.

"Yeah. Wish you were here," 'But I'm right here,' calls out a voice in her head. It's kind of ironic. "That song- I mean." Of course, Mitsuki knows the song very well.

"The...The way it starts calmly feels pretty nice, right?" She tries to smile. "I...like that song too."

Aya only stares, unblinking, as if she is assessing her. Then she doesn't look at Mitsuki anymore, opting to turn her gaze ahead.

"Do you think...Onii-san likes this song too?" Aya doesn't respond to what she had instead. Doesn't tell her what she thinks about Mitsuki liking the song. Instead she asks if Mitsuki knows what 'Onii-san' thinks of this song.

"B-But-" she stammers out. "By 'Onii-san' you mean-"

"That's right." Aya opens the umbrella, holding it in front of them. "You had said 'Are you being nice to me just because I'm Onii-san,' didn't you?"

"Are you jealous? What for!" There's a sparkle in her eyes; it's back, Mitsuki realises. Aya gives her a blinding smile, like that of the sun that shines after rain.

It's beautiful, like a daydream.

"You're one and the same for me!" Sunshine doesn't leave her face.

"What?!" Mitsuki's heart is in a frenzy! And her mind is beyond repair at this point. 'Does Oosawa-san even realise what's she's saying?! She's too bold!' The blush refuses to leave her cheeks. "No-! I was just- I mean-"

"Just get under!" And Aya yanks her towards her, but still mindful of her injury.

"I like all sides of you Koga-san. You're so cool in every way!" She gushes non-stop the moment Mitsuki is under the umbrella, by her side.

"But you know- if I liked 'Onii-san' more than you I would've been helping him not you." Mitsuki wants to retort that she couldn't help someone who doesn't exist anyway, understanding dawning on her as she remembers Aya's words.

"If I liked him more than you, why do you think I'm always with you? Even at school, where you're Koga Mitsuki and not 'Onii-san'?" She's suddenly all too aware of the warm hand holding her cool sweaty ones.

"I just like you Koga-san. I never became your friend just because of the disguise you wear outside of school," she laughs. "I became your friend just because-" There's hesitancy in her voice, but Mitsuki wants to hear more. So she squeezes her hand urging Aya to continue.

"Just because?"

"You're- well- You're you!" she blurts out in a panic. Mitsuki stifles a chuckle at the outburst. 'Cute...'

"Because you're so pretty and kind and- and nice! We like the same type of music. We have so much in common- and at the same time not-!" Guess even Aya notices the disparity between the two of them. But- "We bonded over our shared interests, right? But we also always talk about whatever we like to do individually. We take an interest in eachother's hobbies, even if we may not personally like it. But that's 'cause we are friends!"

Ouch, the 'friends' suddenly stings.

"I'll admit I'd started frequenting the store because of Onii-san- and music of course! That was the reason I came! But do you know why I stayed?" Aya looks at her with a fondness and Mitsuki feels as if her heart would leap out of her chest any minute now. "It was because of you Koga-san."

"The feelings I had for Onii-san....they never actually changed even when i found out the truth you know? But instead they've just gotten stronger....And that's why I still stick around! For you! Not for Onii-san or anyone else-"

Aya feels like combusting! She had just planned on saying a little of her true feelings to Mitsuki, once she figured the ravenette might need her assurance. It was just to tell her enough that Aya liked her and not anyone else, even her own alter-ego. But she hadn't expected her mouth to go rampant and blurt out everything!

"Just me..." Mitsuki thankfully finishes for her, struggling to cover her own heated face.

The confession lingers between them. The small space they share is comforting. Like Aya.

"Thanks for telling me....Aya-san." The butterflies in her belly flutter with happiness.

[juminies]

Ann! Question for you: I know as an otome game, Jumin will fall in love with whatever personality you have, but is there any traits or habits that Jumin would naturally gravitate to?

Xela! I really had to think about this for a bit hahaha. I think as someone who showed little to no interest in women or dating generally prior to the events of the game, Jumin is hard to place in the sort of 'what would he look for in a partner?' sphere. He has an optimism about love, but I feel like he'd be the RFA member least surprised by who he ends up with no matter their personality, because he hasn't really set up any expectations for himself in a lovey-dovey relationship. It seemed unrealistic and out of reach for a long time.

That said, everyone definitely has a few things that pull them to people. I'm sure Jumin is no exception, even outside of the typical things people look for in a partner and the obvious things that are central to his route. I feel like it's really only in action that he'd notice himself gravitating towards particular characteristics, though! Especially when it comes to finding things attractive. I think if you asked him what traits he finds attractive prior to his route he'd probably be stumped (or just tell you he's not interested in women). Anyway, let's get into it!

Honesty and straightforwardness. I'd say this is probably the most obvious one. It can be difficult for Jumin to quickly understand or adjust to situations with people who tend to beat around the bush or sugarcoat things too much. It will lead to misunderstandings and unnecessarily prolonged discomfort, because often he won't naturally pick up on a bigger issue from just the occasional hint. In any sort of relationship he much prefers the type of communication where you can put yourself forward and the other party will listen, so that you can work around it together. In a romantic relationship this would be particularly important for him, so if someone is already like this prior to them meeting it's a huge positive.

Lightheartedness and optimism. It's not that Jumin doesn't have either of these things, but it is easy for him to get sucked into a very serious, "I must plan for the worst" mindset – particularly when he's stressed. That can be helpful sometimes, but he'd be appreciative of someone who can naturally balance it out for him when it's needed. Not to an unrealistic extent of course (he's trying his best and being illogical won't help anyone), but he finds that having the reassurance is nice. He can also be very silly and playful, so he'd definitely be drawn to someone who can easily match that energy and play along with his humour. It is still important to him that someone like this can be serious when it's needed, though! A good balance is necessary, as with everything.

Outspoken and will stand up for themselves. Someone who doesn't just passively agree with him (or anyone else) for the sake of avoiding conflict. Jumin is so used to people agreeing with him because of his status, whether it be for business or just plain old trying to get on his good side. It's boring to him, and can get frustrating when he feels that someone is being inauthentic. He actually ends up finding seeing you stand up for yourself, both to and around him, very attractive. Also if the occasion ever arises for you to stand up for him he will be rather flustered, much to his surprise. Plus I think in general he enjoys some healthy discussion and debate; he's very interested in hearing other peoples views and outlooks even if he disagrees with them!

Willingness to compromise. Jumin's life is very different to the vast majority of people around him. If someone is too stubborn or unwilling to get their head around that fact, it could be difficult for him to connect to them. If he's going to be close to someone they need to understand it, and they need to be willing to learn about and adapt to both his lifestyle and outlook on life. In no way will it be one sided of course, but if someone doesn't show that they'll make an effort to try and incorporate themselves into his reality as he would theirs then he simply wouldn't find himself as fulfilled. It's an unfair deal.

Being supportive of his hobbies. This one doesn't need much elaborating. He doesn't really care all too much if someone isn't interested; he's gotten used to people finding them a bit strange. But when someone is genuinely supportive it's like a whole new part of him opens up. Bonus points if they share his hobbies, he will be absolutely infatuated by even the idea of sitting on the floor of the lounge cross stitching together or something (Elizabeth will try to eat the thread though so be careful).

In terms of habits for the most part I imagine he's relatively unaffected – most are small things that he notices over time and just ends up finding endearing. However he'd probably prefer someone have a similar-ish sleep schedule to him. He likes going to bed together and he'd like to see you in the morning before he goes to work, maybe have breakfast together a couple of times a week. He likes little intimate things like that and, admittedly, misses you through the day if he doesn't get to hear you say you love him before he leaves.

This ended up longer than I anticipated (can you tell I like to talk about Jumin?) but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it too! Thank you for the ask :'-)

[blazingorchid]

WIP for an upcoming LuNami Fic

Here’s a snippet from something I’m cooking. This was very therapeutic for me to write. I loved it all so much, i wanted to share. We all need a friendship like this. I hope you all enjoy! 💕💕

When Usopp opened Nami’s front door, he was met with pitch black darkness. He quickly reached to his right; feeling for the switch on the wall and flipping it on.

Nami’s apartment was small. The entrance led immediately into her living room. An open door frame to the left led to the kitchen. A small hallway straight ahead made room for one bedroom at the very end and a bathroom to the left. There wasn’t very much furniture. Just the necessities. The only thing extra really was a small flat screen that was placed on a cheap table she’d found at a garage sale.

Nami didn’t spend frivolously for the most part. Sure, she’d splurge on clothes and bags. Maybe even jewelry. However, her phone was an older model and the laptop she’d use for school was refurbished.

He had come to learn that the façade that Nami showcased in public was starkly different to who she truly was.

She was beautiful and knew it. Egocentric in some ways. But, she was also incredibly shy in weird times. Compliment her looks, and she’d give a curt smile as a thanks. However, tell her that her paintings are incredible, she’d turn into a giggling mess and turn bright red.

Usopp scanned the living room. Her satchel laid on the floor in front of her futon. Her phone was on one of the cushions. So, he made his way down the hall.

Her love for money was something she voiced often. On the weekends, she’d work part time at a cafe in the mornings and a five star restaurant at nights. She saved almost obsessively and hid stacks of cash in odd areas. But despite her money motivated ways, she refused to charge the single moms in her apartment complex when they would ask her to watch their kids so they could work. The ones she did charge, who could afford to pay more, she’d only make pay for lunch or any small necessities. It was almost ironic that the job that could prove to be her most lucrative endeavor would be the one she didn’t charge enough for. Simply because she loved kids and respected their hardworking parents.

Coming up to her bathroom, he noticed the crease had a dim light seeping through.He knocked on the door with one hand and placed the other one on the knob. He called her name after placing an ear on the door.

The biggest misunderstanding was that Nami was cold hearted. Usopp had been a victim of this misconception himself. At the beginning of the year, Nami simply went to class and wrote her notes. She didn’t spare much time conversing with their peers. To those who had approached her; which were usually men looking for a chance at a date or just a night of fun, she’d give them blank stares. Sometimes she wouldn’t even let them finish their sentences before bluntly rejecting their advances. If people tried to continue after such a response, she simply turned her face to the window or to her notes.

But through a project in which they had to work together, Usopp had come to know that cold was the very opposite of what Nami was.

Fiery hair with burning eyes. An attitude that blazed like wildfire and a smile that put the sun to shame… Nami was warm and bright.

In fact, she was so bright all the time that Usopp tended to forget Nami was also more sensitive than anyone could imagine.

Something that he was currently reminded of as he opened the door and found her huddled within herself in the bathtub. She was rocking back and forth, her head tucked between her knees. Her sobs echoed off the tiled walls. She looked up when she heard him enter. Her eyes were swollen; snot and tears mixing as both pooled from their respective places. Her bottom lip trembled violently.

“U-Usopp.” She called to him. Maybe it was question. Maybe it was an observation. But whatever it was didn’t matter.

He quickly walked to her and crouched. His hands cupped her cheeks. He soothed loose hair out of her face while also trying wipe her cheeks with his sleeve.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. I got ya.” He said softly.

She moved forward so that she could hug him tightly. Once she was secured in his arms, she began to sob just as loudly … actually more loudly than before. This time she had someone willing to hear her. Someone who didn’t feel the need shy from.

He was her best friend and she was his. There was no shame to be had

[offorestsongs]

About rook because im interested to see how you'd write him! What are little things people wouldn't normally take notice of but to him only make him love Lys more? Sorry if this doesn't make sense lol i just want to know more details about lysander acts :3

no no it makes perfect sense it's fine!!! this is actually such a fun question omg

i think i've said once that i compare Lysander to a rabbit a lot but Rook sees him more as a hare and !! what i meant by that is that people tend to think that rabbits/wild rabits and hares are basically the same thing while they're actually completely separate species and in the same way people tend to misunderstand Lysander a lot and take his intentions completely backwards

a lot of the students at NRC tend to think that because Lysander is generally kind and nice and always tries to see the best in people, he's naive or stupid while for him, all of that is a choice. he knows people can be cruel and unfair, but he chooses to see the good in them anyways because he sees that as his best way of survival - he can't be cold and calculating, but he can be kind and sometimes, that helps too. and i think that's something that Rook very much sees!! i like to think he's very drawn to other people's kindness, if Neige is anything to go off, so this is actually one of the things Rook likes about Lysander the most and one of the things that caught Rook's attention at first (and also!!! i feel like Rook is also very much choosing to see the best in everyone so that's something they have in common too!!!)

this is not maybe necessarily exactly what you're talking about BUT it is something that Rook very much notices while others tend to miss — Lysander doesn't like talking. he tends to ramble when he's stressed or embarrassed but he generally just doesn't like speaking if he doesn't have something to Actually say. people often think it's because he's shy and try to make him "open up" which he HATES because he's really not shy (he grew up pretty much isolated from his peers so he's unused to social interactions but once he gains more confidence a lot of his anxiety goes away), he's just quiet and he generally gets tired easily when talking (trying to follow all the social rules of conversation can be a lot for him). Rook very much Gets That and doesn't try to make Lysander talk; they balance eachother in this because Rook on the other hand can go on and on about certain topics and Lysander LOVES listening to him <3

you said little things and here i am talking about some pretty central parts of Lysander’s character LMAO what can i say, man of little words and straightforward answers i am certainly not!

but for some ACTUAL little things/mannerisms that Rook thinks about a lot: if Lysander is buying clothes/fabric/yarn, he always has to touch them to see if he likes the texture and doesn't ever buy anything that makes him wince. due to some specifics of Lysander’s upbringing, he knows a surprising lot about home repairs and Rook is always kind of fascinated by that. Lysander tends to walk around with the sleeves of his sweater pulled over his hands. the first thing Lysander talks about after returning from a new place is the food there and how he could recreate it (sometimes its the only thing he talks about). Lysander is a very good listener!!! he always asks questions about whatever Rook is talking about, even if it's clear he has no idea what Rook is on!! (it's cute and Rook appreciates the effort)

[wishing4nuclearwinter]

For Agustin(and any others you'd like to answer these for!): 17, 43, 47, & 54?

Answering for Allegra as well since she’s been on my mind :3

[character building questions]

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Agustín: He usually notices the dark bags under his eyes. He doesn’t care much about his appearance outside of it’s impact on other people’s perceptions of him and he hates how tired and burnt out the bags make him look.

Other people usually notice his size first.

Allegra: She notices her eyes or chin. She has very bright green eyes that she’s a big fan of. Her feelings on her cleft chin flip flops, but on good days she thinks it’s cute.

Other people notice her hair first. It’s so insanely long.

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Agustín: Years spent with the Legion have definitely warped some of his world views. I think the most common one is him assuming bad intentions all the time. He misunderstands genuineness as manipulation, always expecting a knife in the back and ulterior motives.

His response to people actually having good or transparent intentions is usually disbelief, confusion, and/or (secretly) fear. He tries to return it with honesty of his own but that’s not the easiest for him so he’s more likely to try to separate from the situation/person. What’s that quote about destroying a good thing so you’re the reason you can’t have it?

Allegra: Honestly, hers is similar. Being born into the Legion then fending for herself in the wasteland as a child post-escape cemented a certain weary survival instinct in her. But it’s less that she expects a knife in the back and more that she knows nothing comes free in the wastes. Not expecting bad intentions per se, just assuming that any offers of help come from morally neutral self interest.

When she’s met with generosity or empathy instead it makes her extremely happy. It may take her a minute to believe it fully, but once she does she’s quick to befriend the person.

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

Agustín: The woman who gave him his first ever courier job as a kid, Hope. He hasn’t forgotten her exactly, but just doesn’t think of her anymore. She lost contact with her own daughter who she sent away when she knew the Legion was planning to take Prescott. She was always very fond of Agustín and watching him grow up he reminded her of her daughter. She never knew what became of him after he got conscripted, but she often thinks of him and prays he got out.

Allegra: Antony, actually. They didn’t know each other for long, maybe a couple of months in the time between when the Hangdogs were enslaved and when he began his legionary training. He and Allegra went through some pre-training together (mostly just strength and agility routines to prepare for actual combat training) when they were 10-ish and Antony was kind of enamored. They were friends and Allegra was just. a very bright presence in his life after everything he knew and loved had just been burned to the ground.

Then Allegra just disappeared one day and it took months of digging to find out she’d escaped. He was just another of many friends she’d had in the Legion so she doesn’t really remember him, but he continues to be a bit heartbroken about it.

54. What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

Agustín: His natural response is inclined toward freeze, but years of training have rewired him to fight (in the literal sense). Even so he’ll still sometimes freeze if faced with a situation that is extremely emotional with little physical danger. Deer in headlights.

Allegra: Flight, usually. Definitely in actual combat situations, but also just in general she tends to run away from her problems. If she can’t see them they can’t see her, right :)? If the stressor involves someone she cares about (read: someone she’s afraid of upsetting), she tends to follow up with fawning.

[muraenide]

6. is roleplaying the only writing-based hobby you have, or are there other things you like to write?

13. what themes/motifs do you hope other people notice most about your character?

7. describe your favorite relationship dynamic. (can be any kind, platonic, romantic, familial, antagonistic, etc.)

QUESTIONS FOR MUNS. // @mostrohost

6. is roleplaying the only writing-based hobby you have, or are there other things you like to write?

Roleplaying is probably the only writing-based hobby I have. I've tried with fanfictions but most of the time I tend to abandon the project before I'm halfway through a well-established plot. Roleplaying mainly feels non-committal and you get to make some friends along the way :3

Outside of writing, most of my hobbies are very hands-on, physical kind of hobbies. I go cycling, camping, and hiking, and I used to go out for karaoke or late-night drives with some friends but recently I have preferred to stay home so I hardly go out anymore. When I had a lot of time at my university I would also make gadgets with dead electronic devices (e.g. old smartphone turned into a mini television or a CCTV, creating a motorcar or a simple mechanical robot, etc), sometimes I miss those hobbies but they are both time-consuming and at times expensive :'333

13. what themes/motifs do you hope other people notice most about your character?

Answered here!

7. describe your favorite relationship dynamic. (can be any kind, platonic, romantic, familial, antagonistic, etc.)

Any relationship dynamic that isn't fairytale-esque is my favourites. I'm not picky with what type of relationship dynamic (platonic, romantic, antagonistic, rivalry, co-dependency, etc) but mainly relationships that seem to go too well, or too perfect when characters don't or hardly argue, or they don't have much going on between them except existing with each other, can be a bit one-dimensional or bland. Relationships where being close or someone's s/o makes you realize that being on that level of intimacy introduces some conflicts (or pleasant surprises) that you don't see when you both share a more shallow relationship is nice. I also enjoy a lot of "almost" dynamic (i.e. they "almost" could've been friends, but sadly are on opposing sides, they "almost" made it, but one of them died), exes to lovers or exes that were forced to work together, this doesn't necessarily need to be romantic, as long as it is a strong platonic bond they used to share, or two characters that previously went separate ways due to a misunderstanding but reconciled/reunited by sheer stroke of fate.

[am3ricanj3sus]

4/26

song of the day:

today wasn’t so bad y’all. I actually found it pretty nice. I talked to js about all my friends and found out so many things.

today there was like a fight in the locker room and I was like omg…. I didn’t know the girls involved personally but there was like pepper spray and stuff involved. it was crazy. anyways. I learned how to officially use a sewing machine!!!! I tend to forget about the presser foot sometimes and I think that’s what messes me up the most. in second period we had a sub and he was kinda mean. he was chill mostly but like js another white man. he kinda looks like the guy for terminator. but the best was lunch tbh. my dad brought me chinese food from one of my fav places and I was so happy. I shared with my friends and we talked shit. in third it was basically the same thing. talking shit and eating. and I love my friends in that class and we feel really close at times but then their other friends come in and they up and leave and i’m js there like :( I don’t really care ik that there closer with them but they js leave. it’s whatever though. this time they included me in the convo!!! in fourth we had a sub too and she’s pretty chill cause she’s older. I only made like 4 plates this week when I was supposed to make 6 sooo erm. i’m js so tired of that class. like I love it it’s fun but I don’t have friends so it’s boring. anyways me and my mom were supposed to go to the school musical tonight but she got sick so we couldn’t. it’s whatever though cause we’re going tmrw night.

anyways. I watched millers girl and it really got me thinking. like ofc it’s bad if an older man takes advantage of a young girl. but I would never actually get with my tc. like that’s all pure fantasy. and I think people misunderstand that about having tcs. like most will never do anything about it since their tcs have like family’s and wife’s. mines pretty young so he hasn’t settled down and there’s that little hope of “oh i have a chance” but also like… girl wtf. like I said. it’s all a fantasy. but speaking of mr c. I only saw him once today wtf. and I didn’t even see him fully!!! he was coming out of the staff bathroom and looked my way (I was being loud asf) and I was talking to my friend about it like. i’m almost done with school. I graduate in a year. it’s whatever if I have a crush on him. it’s not like i’m gonna act on it. there’s times I wish I would but ik I shouldn’t and won’t.

anyways that other guy I had a crush on. man he’s being a bitch. he’s my friend and I love him. but he got a gf YESTERDAY and he’s like ignoring our friends. he’s been acting weird all day but jeez. and the girl he’s dating is nice. like i’ve had classes with her she’s chill. but he’s being like weird. I miss him. ik that he’s better mentally now more than ever. but I miss who he was before he lost his old friends and started dating her. but alas, there’s not much I can do.

now, i’ve had a crush on this guy, i’ll call him coco, since october. I don’t even know how it happened. I had 2 classes with him last semester and I didn’t even notice him till after fall break. he came to school with this hair cut and I was like omg… and I started to develop a crush on him before break. like the week leading up to it. I remember during a kahoot for history he took my spot at the top of the board and I went “who tf is coco?!?” (like the one tiktok but his real name yk) and my friend was like “that one in the corner” and I was like oh okay…;). and it kinda js took off from there. I spent 3 months like just crushing on him like crazy. I would answer questions and try and be funny out loud so that he would see me. but it has not worked. and i’m scared to talk to him. he’s like kinda weird tbh. but that’s for another time. I was scared since I didn’t have any classes with him for second semester but also glad since i could get over my crush. then the first day of the semester came. and I didn’t have a second period. so I talked to my councilor and she’s like oh let’s put u in second period english. i’m like yayaya cause it’s with a teacher I love. so I walk into class and i’m smiling and then boom. he’s right there. wtf bro bro. it was cool though cause all my friends are in that class too. my crush for him is still there but it’s slowing going away. I think everything he’s said about anything has just made me want to throw up. but he’s so pretty. like ugh. he doesn’t smile all the often and ugh. he’s so cute when he does. there’s this pic of his freshman year where he is trying to smile with his teeth but he’s like forcing it so he js looks goofy. I love it though he’s so cute like:(((((( but im never gonna tell him. i’d rather die actually. which it why i’m gonna go to bed.

[undertalefan715]

So, I’mma do this long ask list for @copyrightcreep here. I love doing these. :3

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

... >u>

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Well, I’ve never kissed anyone irl before, but I’ve given many virtual kisses. and.. it’s complicated. I do not want to talk about it.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

Of course I would!..

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

No. it’s 5. my middle name is 6 though.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Again, never kissed anyone irl. neither have I drank. (gonna be skipping some of the kiss based questions)

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No..? I don’t think. 

7. What does your last received text say?

“Ah.. that's good. glad you're doing alright. :>” I was asking my good friend how work is going for him.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

Today. I’m sitting right next to her actually. haha.

11. What do you drink in the morning?

...Soda. :S

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My mom’s room. where I always sleep.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

...It’s, hard to say.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Probably...

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Tbh, rainy. if I’m inside my house. (which I always am hah)

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Oh probably millions. it seems very common.

18. Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Pajama. lol. :3

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I... I hope.

20. Does anyone like you?

Yeah. lots of people. I don’t know why, ‘cause I’m such a loser...

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

My sister’s “friend(s)”. they’re absolute fucking bitches. fuck them. ugh.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yes. 0u0 (not sure of what though)

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yup.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Um.. I’m not sure actually. :/c

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Of course I dry-off. lol.

29. Do you think you’re old?

Oddly enough, yeah. sometimes.

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yeah. but talking in person (or through vc) is much easier for me.

31. What type of day are you having?

Pretty good actually. :3

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Nah.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm pls,,,

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yes. heh... *blushes slightly*

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I think a bit of both. but pretty complicated though. lol.

37. What song are you listening to?

Follow My Way - Chris Cornell

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Always... 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yeah. I think she pretty much does. hah. 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

...No, no comment.

41. When did you last receive a text message?

7:56pm. (in my timezone) 42. What is wrong with you right now?

Big depressed. 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Very well! 44. Does anyone disgust you?

Yeah. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Hell yes please- (please ask me out aaaaaa) 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Yeah, sort of. heh. uwu 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My sister.

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Dark blue. almost black. 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Yeah. though they didn’t tell me. but, I’m really disappointed. not happy. 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Yup.. 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

... *nods*

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Almost all the time. 53. Do you like rain?

Yes! I actually like it alot. when I’m inside that is. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

As long as they don’t do it often, or hurt themselves, I guess so...

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Probably maybe.. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES-

57. Are you shy?

Yeah.. I’d consider myself really shy at times. 58. Do you get along with girls?

I.. think so? :> 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

No. but I wish I could tbh.. :’) 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My blanket. and my laptop and headphones. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Fuck yeah, I’d do it. for million bucks? ofc. 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I think I did. 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Nope. lol. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

O,,,, mg,,,, y-yess,,,,,,,, :’DD 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I think so yes. dsfghfds

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

Eh. doesn’t matter. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

It doesn’t matter tbh. as long as it’s comfy Idc. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

No. I don’t even own a car. lmao. (though I have UT stickers on my laptop if that counts) 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

...Neither please. :T 71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?    

iPhone pls. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

‘Bout a month ago. it was so good. :3 73. Do you like diet soda?    

I basically live off it. (which isn’t good) 74. What color are the walls in your room?    

White. all white... :T 75. Are you 16 or older?    

I’m 16. 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?   

Nah. my sister really liked it though. still does a bit.  77. Do you have a job?    

Lol nope.   78. What are your initials?    

LCB. (pretty cool right? nah lol) 79. Did you ever have braces?    

No. I might need them maybe.. 80. Are you from the south?    

yup yeehaw motherfuckers

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

Hell if I know. I haven’t been on FaceBook in 3 years or so. 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

My mom of course. my dad pretty much doesn’t exist.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

Nope. never will. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

I can’t remember.. that was awhile ago for me. :0 86. Do you smoke?    

No. no no no. never fucking will. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Fuckin’ flip-flops babey!!!!!!!!!! 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Uh, yeah of course. (what kinda question is that lmfao) 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Straight. (gay) 92. Have you ever made out in a car?  

No.. but I fucking wish I could omfg~    93. …Had sex in a car?    

...Nope. 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

I’m single boys. *snaps fingers* 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

Hell if I know. lmao. 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

4th of July of course. 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

I guess. yeah. lol. 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

Hmm.. not sure actually. I don’t think so though.

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

...No. 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

Fuck Kesha. 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

Not that I know of, no. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?  

hell yes bitch yeehaw

[primofate]

Genshin [Volleyball Team AU - Inspired by Haikyuu!] What it’s like to be their manager Headcanons

Note: I think a lot of people misunderstand the role of the manager XD It’s not that the whole team is dating you. It’s that the whole team treats you like their family/sister. So you’d better bet that all of them are gunna be hella protective of you XD

Scenario: What do you do for the team and what do they do for you? :D

Warnings: not proofread, fluffy, might have some swear words, platonic relationships

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Tartaglia, Kazuha, Xiao, Tohma, reader as the team manager

Other works in the Volleyball Team AU Series: Click Here

Genshin Volleyball Team manager

It’s just fuckin’ chaos

On your first day you’re already bombarded with questions by Tartaglia and Kaeya

“So which class are you?” “What’s your height?” “Are you single?”

Captain Zhongli just cannot be bothered to reign them in anymore.

So Vice Captain Diluc does it and grabs their collars. “You idiots, you’re scaring her off!”

Possibly Kazuha and Tohma are the ones you really try to rely on, on your first few weeks.

So how do you gain the trust of your team? Let’s start with each player shall we?

#1 Zhongli (Captain/Wing Spiker/Ace)

Zhongli is just handsome and mature. He’s strict and needs to be the pillar of the team. 

You’re intimidated by him the first few weeks and he just seems...a little far. He’s always so focused that you can’t seem to catch a moment to just chat with him.

There’s a day where you notice that his form is a little off, you suspect that he hurt his wrist a little. 

You fidget uncomfortably in the gym as they practice, but finally turn to the coach “U-Umm... The captain is... I mean! I’m not sure, but... I think he needs to take a rest,”

The coach calls for someone to substitute Zhongli and suddenly asks you to check on him.

“Huh?! Me?!” the coach pushes you towards him, and Zhongli is just looking at you quizzically, you can practically see the question mark on his face.

“C-Captain, d-do you need some bandages on your wrist?”

Zhongli is taken aback, but silently puts his right wrist out for you to wrap.

Only when you’re done tending to it does he look you in the eye and ask.

“How did you know?”

“...Because I always watch, and all I can do is watch. If I can’t even spot that out then I’m not a very good manager am I?”

Zhongli has a newfound respect for you. He thought you were just a meek and shy thing sitting around and passing them balls but he feels his heart swell that someone like you is seriously watching over them.

#2 Diluc (Vice Captain/Wing Spiker/Defense Specialist)

Diluc is probably the second hardest to get along with or break the ice with.

But he gradually warms up to you when he notices that he’s always the first one you pass a towel and water bottle to.

You’re not doing that on purpose, it’s just him who always comes up first.

After a few days he deliberately goes to you faster cause he always wants to be the one to receive a water bottle and towel from you first. Secretly a puppy.

The moment he realized that you were reliable was when you stayed behind to help him practice when everyone else went home already. 

You didn’t let up in your constant praise of “nice receive”, “great spike!” and “that’s so cool!” 

He thinks he saw stars in your eyes at some point.

“Hey, Diluc, it’s getting late, let’s leave some energy for tomorrow, yeah?” he could tell from your mannerisms that you were tired too, but you tried not to let it show on your face and still cleaned up with him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then!” you wave but you’re stopped by a quick. “No,” from him. You tilt your head in wonder and he just looks at you as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“It’s late, I’ll walk you home,”

#3 Kaeya (Middle Blocker)

You don’t have to impress this guy, anyone of the female gender impresses him.

lol jk

safe to say it’s not difficult to befriend Kaeya, just bring him a cheering squad and some food.

all jokes aside the way to this guy’s heart is through his stomach.

He’s not a particularly hungry person but there’s this one time he forgot to bring lunch. He was running late, or something of that sort, honestly not something new for him.

He ALSO didn’t bring money so he couldn’t eat food from the cafeteria.

Ask his friends for money you say? Tartaglia would go, “Haha no way!” Albedo would go, “Let this be a lesson for you,” his brother would go “Serves you right,”

By club time he’s famished and dramatic. “Guys, go on without me, this is as far as I go,” as he sprawls on the gym floor.

You ask if he’s okay and he doesn’t answer so Diluc is the one that answers for him. “He forgot his lunch, as always,”

You make a sound of understanding and the next thing you know you’re taking out a lunch box and Kaeya has lifted his head up, sensing food.

“I packed onigiri for everyone today, actually... In case someone was hungry. It’s not much but--”

Kaeya comes alive from the dead and clutches your hands to his chest. “Manager you really are an angel,”

Diluc jump kicks him away from you.

#4 Albedo (Setter)

You also don’t know how to approach this guy

He always looks mad or stoic or something. Like he’s always thinking about something.

He low key actually is always thinking about play strategies and how to set the ball better for his teammates.

You really do think he works so hard while the game is going on, so you decide to help him out a little bit.

You watch a few more of their games and somehow come up with a list of what kinds of sets are better for each different spiker in the team.

There’s surprise in his eyes when you pass the document to him and modestly exclaim “...but, it might not be accurate, since I’m not that experienced,”

He still nods and says “...It’s the thought that counts,” 

When he does read your report and try the techniques out he notices that it does hold some merit in it

Is amazed like how Zhongli is amazed. He thought you were just there to hand them bottles and cheer for them but he had never been so wrong as to what a manager’s role is.

Will trust you enough to ask you about his set performance.  

Will sometimes slam Kaeya with an insult. “Kaeya, your spike sense is horrid, Y/N can read the moves better than you,”

#5 Tartaglia (Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

It’s not that he has a hard time trusting people but let’s just say he has the tendency to make you feel like he likes you but then he actually does that to everyone.

For example: He’ll throw compliments like “Oh that’s amazing Y/N!” but then back in the classroom you’ll hear him say “Oh that’s amazing!” to, like, every other person. 

That kinda disappoints you cause then the comment doesn’t really hold that much meaning to it if he keeps on saying it to others too.

He encounters a crisis mid year because this guy is just... he struggles with his grades. 

Captain Zhongli has told him he can’t play volleyball if he fails even one subject.

This boy is panicking and has semi-accepted this is the end of his volleyball career.

So you offer to study with him and he’s legit stoked.

Intensive and strict study sessions commence. Note taking, pop quizzes, surprise questions and even sudden random calls from you wherein you ask him a question and he has to answer within 5 seconds.

You’ve pulled all the study techniques you know here, this man better pass everything.

Welp, he still fails History....but since he worked so hard Captain Zhongli excuses it.

He’s so happy that he can’t hold back the stupidly wide smile on his face. He turns to you and for the very very first time in months, he bows and THANKS you.

You realize that he’s never thanked you before. Not even when you pass him water bottles or towels. 

You consider it a win, getting rare and sincere appreciation from him.

#6 Kazuha (Decoy/Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

One of the easiest to get along with but at the same time, he’s so mature that you feel like you’re not even in the same age range as him.

Definitely someone you can count on though, so you ask him many questions on the first week.

Still, it’s one of those things where you can kind of talk to him but there’s still a wall between you two.

One day while walking around in school there were these boys who were commenting about his height, and questioning his abilities as a volleyball team member.

You didn’t really think much about it when you speak up, “But he’s a really good middle blocker and spiker,” 

Those boys look at you weirdly and you realize that you’ve unconsciously spoken up. So you hurriedly walk away.

Little did you know that Kazuha was in some secret corner and heard the whole thing.

Just like that, the next day, it seems as if the wall between you two was gone, and you’re able to talk freely.

That, and he seemed to like asking you to help him practice his spikes and throw balls for him now.

#7 Xiao (Libero)

is deceivingly easy to get along with. Just has a rough exterior but is actually a softie if you squint.

You know this because there are subtle things he does. 

He doesn’t speak to you much but then he would be the one picking up the balls with you, or sometimes there’s magically a new set of clean towels on the bench that you don’t remember taking out from the storage room.

This guy is passionate for the game, so he really beats himself up when he isn’t able to receive a ball during actual games.

You worry about his mentality sometimes. I mean, it’s a team game, it’s not like he alone can save the whole game

So you talk to him about it the other day

“You’re already a really good libero Xiao, I mean... I’m not saying you should stop practicing but you don’t have to feel so bad...” you pause because this doesn’t feel like the message you want to convey

“Sorry, what I mean is... You CAN feel bad, but share the burden with your team, you know?”

He knows what you’re saying and contemplates it for a while. He knows that his team has his back, but sometimes just needs reminder about it.

He looks at you and asks, “...Can I share the burden with you too?”

You blink “Huh?”

“You said I can share the burden with my team, but can I share it with you too?”

There is a blush on his cheeks at this point.

“Oh, yea! Of course! I don’t play but I’m still part of the team you know!”

Ever since then, during games, if he feels a little frustrated he’d glance at you on the bench and you’d give him a thumbs up for a job well done.

#8 Tohma (Pinch Server/Middle Blocker)

You’re like bffs the moment you see each other

lol jk

You’re still awkward with him the first few days cause that’s just how first meetings are.

But he is very easy to talk to and always makes you feel at ease

Will always be the one to ask how you are if you need any help or if class was okay in general

Seems like the type of person to care more about others than himself

So he’s surprised when you come into the gym and you beat him to asking his usual questions.

“Tohma, how are you today? Did you have a proper lunch?”

“Tohma, are you getting tired? Want some water?”

“Tohma, how was class today?”

All the other members of the team turn to look at the two of you, thinking ‘Why does Tohma get extra attention?’ 

Tohma certainly doesn’t get extra attention you just TALK to him more. The other members deadass are also getting cared for by you, just in different ways.

This boy has some insecurities though, when it comes to playing the game. He hasn’t been in it for long so he’s the least experienced and that gets to him sometimes.

“Oh, really? But you play really well! I couldn’t tell that you’re new” 

His serves are really amazing though.

“Also! You always score points for us with the serves. Sometimes, your serves are my favourite part of the game!”

Has practiced extra hard so as not to let you down.

Masterlist

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[theminecraftbee]

I’m currently watching joe hills for this au I thought of and omg there is nothing on the planet that could have prepared me for the way this man talks??? How does he go from “You already put in hourglasses to repersent the inexorable crawl of time ^^” to “you don’t feel the burn you feel the learn 🕶” like???? I didnt even know inexorable was a word till now and he just says it like it’s nothing, also the fact everytime he gets hurt he goes “my body!“ like sir???? you wanna explain that??? i mean all this in the most /pos way it’s just funny

you are experiencing the Joe Hills Difference.

...honestly he talks a little like how i do sometimes - i tend to accidentally use big words that no one knows what i mean, because i read too much so i don't know that people don't use them. and then i immediately throw in slang i heard somewhere recently. it's like that, except more... joe hills. and also more tennessee.

also he's better at just dropping random raw lines on the fly, a skill he actively cultivates, along with his ability to rhyme on the spot. like, he talks in a very unique way, but he also practices it, which only hones its entertainment value. have you noticed how good he is at just picking up puns or sideways ways to go about things? because he's very, very good at improving off of something that's currently happening with an idle pun or a very silly and purposefully obtuse way of looking at what's currently going on. this is one of the things that i appreciate about how he talks.

more "ways joe hills talks that i appreciate" that you probably won't catch in videos: he is very, very good at improving the wrong answer to questions he's asked in the most obtuse way possible (normally with a pun or a deliberate misunderstanding). he Does Not pronounce acronyms or internet names that probably contain acronyms correctly. ever. still remember the time he decided "mcyt" stands for "eleven-hundred yites". also, "it's fine. it's fine!", a thing that both he and cleo do that i'm pretty sure they probably picked up from each other. also, saying "womp womp" when something goes wrong.

...i went on a RANT here but basically. i appreciate how he talks a lot. and i know for a fact some of it is just the natural Joe Hills Difference but also it's really entertaining and he does put practice into it. it takes like, significant cleverness, it’s really hard to improv stuff like that on the fly.

i am glad you ALSO appreciate how he talks a lot,

[stay-mon-army]

Stay With Me?

Warnings: A couple swears, a minor panic attack-like scene, angst-to-fluff

Word Count: 2,432 words

Pairing: Lee Jooyeon x gn!Reader

It wasn’t that Jooyeon and you didn’t get along, exactly, although that’s what the others would say. You just didn’t match, you swear that’s all it is. He’s just so loud and crazy and confident. You didn’t get the need to be so loud all the time. You much preferred the company of O.de and Jun Han. They were on the quieter side and knew where your vocal boundaries tended to end, allowing you the ability to pull back and observe rather than feel pressured to constantly contribute to the conversation. Jooyeon rarely let you off that easy, and would spend most of the time asking questions or making jokes in your direction hoping for some sort of response. He was never mean, but the attention sometimes made your blood boil and your pulse race.

You had recently gotten into a fight with an ex-close friend from school and you couldn’t stand to be around anyone anymore. The friend had cut ties, calling you names and making you feel as though you had ruined the friendship through a small misunderstanding you had tried to fix. As time went on, you had gotten over it, but a new development in the level of hatred this person held for you was eating at you, and the thought of putting on a brave face before the boys was daunting and nauseating.

When Jungsu had invited you over for dinner (courtesy of Gunil’s wallet) several days ago, you had gladly said yes, knowing time with them was precious with their busy schedules. You couldn’t regret it anymore than you do now. While Jooyeon would often be too busy eating to bother you much, you knew that you couldn’t just leave as soon as you had all eaten, and most likely this get-together would become an all night thing. You loved the boys, but today was more of a stay-in-bed-all-day-and-cry mood.

Regardless, you knew Jungsu would have a million questions if you suddenly didn’t want to see them, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lie, so you took a deep breath and headed over to their place. Gunil opened the door for you when you rang the bell, and you managed a small smile as he greeted you, angling to allow you room to enter the dorm.

“(Y/n) is here!” Gunil calls into the noise permeating from the kitchen. He turns to you as you take your shoes off. “The food should be here any minute. The boys are in the kitchen, acting like a pack of starving wolves. Drama kings, the lot of them.” You chuckle softly at his face, twisted up in gentle annoyance. You know he doesn’t mean it, and that he really loves their chaotic energy. Everyone knows he’s just as bad as the rest of them, but he was also conscious of your introversion and tries to lighten the energy for you.

You follow behind him as he returns to them, trying to keep your mind on the now, the current feelings of relief at seeing your friends who had made you feel so loved and accepted, but it was instantly replaced with a rush of anxiety. What if they didn’t like you as much as they act like they do? What if they only keep you around to use you for things, but don’t really enjoy your company? What if they’re barely tolerating you anymore and just looking for the right way to get rid of you?

“Darling, are you just gonna stand there or are you going to join us?” Jooyeon’s voice snaps you out of your mind, bringing you back to the doorway between the kitchen and living room, where you stand alone now, staring at the group of concerned boys. “Stuck in your head again? What, do I look too good today?” He brushes his hair back with one hand, posing with his chin up, a grin flashing his teeth in your direction.

“Yeah.” You mumble, ducking your head as you move to sit beside Jungsu on the closest edge of the island. As you settle into your seat, Jungsu lightly grazes the backs of his fingers against your elbow under the island where the others won’t notice. Jungsu had become a stabilizer for you, always being able to sense when you needed closer attention and showing his support in small, imperceptible ways.

“Haha, I knew you really liked me, (Y/N)! All this time, not giving any leeway in your hard exterior, but you do love me.” Jooyeon leans his body across the island toward you, grinning and eyeing you up and down jokingly.

“Yeah.” Shutting down in a social situation where you should be and want to be interacting better? Probably one of your least favorite ways your anxiety presents. You want to give the boys the energy you know you can muster around them. You had broken mostly out of your shell and trusted them enough to show off your underlying personality behind the cold facade. But now that someone else had hurt you, you felt yourself closing back in, and Jooyeon will most definitely not be the boy that brings you out of this funk. While he’s social, he has no finesse in social situations and is more like a vocal bull in a china shop.

“Is that all you can say now? Come on, don’t hurt my feelings. You like me, just say it! Or what, are you just toying around with my heart now?” Gaon lightly tugged on Jooyeon’s arm as he pouted at you and wiped away a fake tear. You heart started pounding in your ears, your breathing becoming ragged as you try to stop the rising, seemingly random panic. “Do you just want to hurt me? What ever shall I do? The cold, heartless (Y/N) using me for their own whims. Maybe I should run while I still can.”

You know he doesn’t mean it. You know he’s playing a joke, thinking he’s funny, trying to lighten your mood and get you to crack a smile at him. But it has the opposite effect, and you know that if you don’t exit the room at that moment, you would explode with either rage or tears, or some mixture of the two. You weren’t angry at Jooyeon, but rather the situation as a whole, and having repressed the thoughts to hang out with the boys had only allowed it to fester until the lid blew.

You stood quickly from the island, dodging Jungsu’s hand as it goes to snag your sleeve, and make for the front door. The suddenness of your outburst allowed you a head-start of sorts, and you made it to the door before you even heard one of the boys’ chairs scrape against the tile as they stood.

You fling the door open, ignoring your shoes as tears blur your vision and you barely miss running directly into the food delivery man. You duck around him, making your way down the hallway towards the stairs, not really knowing where you were going— maybe home?— only that you wanted out of there and away from Jooyeon.

“(Y/N), wait, hold on, please.” Speak of the devil. You didn’t slow, but you had enough sense in the moment to know you would trip if you attempted to run now, blind and shoeless. His long legs give him the advantage, as well as his properly adorned feet, as his hand grabs your bicep, spinning you to him.

“Don’t touch me.” You can’t tell if you yelled it or whispered it, your ears still ringing with the sound of your own blood pumping through your body. You rip your arm from his grasp, backing away, but being only half turned, you bump into the wall, scraping your shoulder and knocking yourself off balance. You slide to the floor, landing on your hip in a way you know will bruise but you can’t seem to care about at the moment.

You sense Jooyeon close to you, probably squatting directly in your path, but you place your head in your hands and squeeze your eyes shut as hard as you can, trying to breathe deeply and slowly to stop the flow of tears leaking from your eyes like a faucet.

“(Y/N), please look at me. I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I just meant to make a joke, I didn’t know—”

“You always mean to joke, and all you do is piss me off!” You don’t know what came over you, the usually quiet individual who never spoke up to be mean. You never lashed out or made a scene, you liked to handle things quietly or not at all, those were your usual options, so why now you felt the need to yell, you can’t tell. “All you do is bicker and poke fun and make jokes and pester me with questions. Can’t you see I’m having a hard time today and I just needed some goddamn kindness and space?”

You lay your head back against the wall, hands in your lap as you look at Jooyeon. He seems stunned into silence, his mouth parted and slack-jawed as his eyebrows attempt to knit together. His eyes are soft, despite the verbal lashing, and he seems on the edge of making some sort of move, but you can’t tell what.

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” You sigh, rubbing your face as you start crying in earnest. The outburst seemed to unleash a floodgate of your emotions and you couldn’t stop the sobs and tears emanating from your body. “I just— I had this fight and I can’t— what if I lose you all too? What if— what if I’m just too much for people and e-everybody leaves m-me?” Your body shook with the power of your sobs, making the uncomfortable position of your body more painful, but you hardly noticed— too locked in your own emotions.

“No, no, (Y/N), please don’t think that way.” You feel Jooyeon’s arms wrap around your body slowly, encompassing your smaller form in his larger one. He was warm and smelled faintly of some sort of wood, probably from his cologne. He pulled you away from the wall, settling you between his legs as he slowly swayed you back and forth, lightly humming as he rests his head against yours. “We all love you so much, more than you know. I didn’t know I bothered you so much, I promise I’ll pay more attention to how you feel now. I never want to hurt you.”

His embrace was all-encompassing, making you feel cocooned in his presence as his thumb lightly stroked your side. Your body shook against his, trembling as you released all the pent up anxiety and anger at the situation out slowly. You squeezed your eyes shut as you focused in on the path of his thumb; up and down slowly along your ribs in soothing sweeps as you feel his chest rising and falling against your other side.

It felt like forever that you sat there, in Jooyeon’s arms. You eventually began to feel your heart slow to a reasonable rate, and your eyes began to dry and ache. You move to pull away from Jooyeon, but he lightly tightens his hold, shoving his face back into the nape of your neck. You settle back against him, turning your head towards him slightly, concerned about the way his hands lightly clenched your shirt. Finally, he pulls back himself and you can see the way his eyes shine and the tip of his nose is a dusty pink.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks softly. You shake your head, not wanting to talk at all. “Do you want to go eat something?” You nod, your lips turning up slightly at Jooyeon.

You didn’t expect him to ever have this effect on you— that there would come a time where you didn’t feel annoyed with Jooyeon’s constant big personality. But here he was, reading your cues and giving you the (verbal) distance you needed from him. He slowly released you, standing and reaching out a hand to help you from the floor of the hallway you had both been inhabiting. A sudden rush of embarrassment filled you and your cheeks flushed hard, tilting your head down in an attempt to hide it.

As you start to step back toward the dorm, Jooyeon links his pinky through yours. You glance at him, but he won’t look at you, just looking directly at the door ahead of you both.

“Stay with me? Just while you stay for dinner?” He finally glances at you and you don’t remember a time you had seen him look so sheepish or unsure. His eyes flicker around your face, taking in every aspect he could, like he was analyzing how you reacted to his question.

“Okay.” You nod, smiling softly at the boy, and his mouth breaks into an earth-shattering smile you’ve seen a million times, but somehow has your heart pounding for the first time in a nice way.

You spent the rest of the night practically attached to Jooyeon’s hip. You didn’t end up going home that night, rather you all made a pillow fort in the living room after eating. You had stolen “pajamas” from Jungsu, which was more like a pair of sweatpants and a giant t-shirt, and ended up curling into Jooyeon’s side as they put on shitty comedy movies that had Jooyeon practically vibrating with laughter the whole time. At one point, Gun-il laughed so hard he spilled the popcorn, which ended in a very hectic and very serious popcorn war, which you only managed to survive because Jooyeon allowed you to use his lanky body as a shield.

The night had been salvaged and you thanked Jooyeon later when the others had fallen asleep. You knew that if you had stayed home, you never would have dealt with your emotions. You wouldn’t have confronted this question with your friends and you would have taken a long time before you truly felt comfortable with them again. While you would’ve preferred to have avoided the breakdown part, you had a new understanding with Jooyeon that seemed deeper than your connection with any of the other boys. He seemed to take more time reading into you after that, and while he didn’t overstep any boundaries (verbal or physical) and he kept his distance, he also always seemed to be right there if you needed him. His presence became a comfort after that night, and you sure weren’t going to complain.

[awetistic-things]

hello! I believe im autistic but I don’t have a special interest. I don’t have any specific 1 thing that im completely passionate about. I mean, maybe psychology but isn’t that too broad? idk. I need to consult someone autistic themselves bc im a minor and I can’t get a therapist and probably can’t convince my parents to get me a diagnosis. my mother thinks I just have high anxiety and ocd. I definitely have dermatillamania though. here’s some of my symptoms:

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts; I go nonverbal when I’m anxious/stressed/in a social situation where I’m being forced to talk to or interact w someone.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities; i do really like sameness but I’m also super impulsive and love changing thing up that don’t have a lot of value to me. for example I would go on a trip to Chicago rn with my friends if I had the means and they wanted to but I’m not changing the way I write my notes or cleaning my room

I have a hard time understanding figurative language and kind of obsessively overanalyze most things that I don’t understand

maybe it’s a mix of me being weird, ocd, and high anxiety that’s been present for my entire life and that I also can’t pinpoint the reason for. or maybe I’m autistic. I know you can’t diagnose a stranger on the internet from a couple paragraphs and I’m sorry if this is too much info.

I’m staying anonymous for my safety but my pronouns are they/it!

hi!

okay, so for starters i'm just gonna share with you some of the articles that helped me essentially start me on my journey of "oh shit i'm autistic" and my own two cents for each statement you made

---------

social interaction:

What Is Social Interaction In Autism - AutismTalkClub.com

i personally relate to the "non-verbal" part of what you said. I tend to lose the ability to speak whenever i am overwhelmed due to environmental factors (senses being overstimulated), but there are many other reasons (sometimes due to masking)

being overwhelmed in social situations is really easy for me personally. mainly because of sesnory issues, masking, resisting the urge to stim, etc and this can set me off into having meltdowns among other things

--------

repetitive behaviors:

Restrictive and Repetitive Behavior | Kennedy Krieger Institute

having a schedule is really important to a lot of people on the spectrum, it can help create some calmness in constant chaos

but, sometimes (such as myself) it is nice to be spontaneous and just do random shit without planning or a schedule or anything

so although repetitive behaviors are an autistic thing, the flexibility can differ depending on the person (emphasize on its a *spectrum*)

---------

language misunderstandings:

Whose metaphor? Autism Spectrum Disorder and metaphorization (metnetscandinavia.com)

that metaphor doesn't necessarily make sense to me, but just in case it makes sense for you there it is

about overanalyzing i totally get that. something I've noticed is that autistic people tend to question "basic" rules and social hierarchies so becoming obsessed with asking "why?' questions is very relatable to say the least

i dont really struggle that much with more everyday metaphors and I love analogies, but once again its a spectrum and I still very much need tone tags to avoid misunderstandings between both parties

-------

the way i figured out i was autistic was through research, research, research. at first I thought that meant clinical studies and such but it also means learning from the community itself, so its cool that you thought to do that (I wish I thought of that immediately)

also about how you don't really have ONE thing for a special interest, that's something normal from what I've seen. you don't have to know everything about something to have it be a special interest. you don't have to have known about it for years or an extremely long period of time. its really an individual thing for how you view hyperfixations and sp.ins (special interests). so, if you think that psychology is a sp.in of yours, then its a sp.in. its really up to you

all the things i sent you arent to diagnose you, but involving yourself in the community, researching a lot, or calling yourself/self-diagnosining yourself as autistic is okay. its perfectly okay. i know you said that because of your age and your parents you arent able to get a diagnosis at this time, but don't let that stop you from finding out more (even if its not with a therapist or your parents) about autism and essentially about who you are

im always free to dm, so please reach out to me if you want to talk (doesn't have to be just about autism) :) /gen (also my discord server for autistic people is linked in my pinned post if you wanna check it out)

[astrolovecosmos]

Neptune: Deep Dive

Pink petals

fallen onto

night shaded

waters.

Nothing is ever as it seems.

Wood turned to metal.

Reality turned to dreams.

-Natasha Reeves 

The planet Neptune I think is most famous for two things - illusions and dreamy or ethereal associations. A lot of negativity is also commonly associated such as addiction, insanity, guilt, sorrow, denial, and doubt. This planet is complex and just like all the other planets has a huge array of associations. What prompted me to do a deep dive in Neptune? Well for one I’ve been going through the transit of Neptune in Pisces crossing over my IC which has been powerful and I am at the end of my progressed Moon in the 12th House. Also in my own chart I’ve been paying more attention to my natal Neptune placements... which are a lot more prominent and worthy of my attention than I’ve understood and noticed in the past. Honestly I spend a lot more time analyzing others’ charts vs. my own, and I really should have looked more closely at some of my own aspects. I have had a LOT of experience with Pisces influences throughout my life, intense ones. I want to make it clear that Pisces DOES NOT = Neptune. I’ve always wanted to write a whole essay about my experience as a Pisces friend, lover, family member, enemy, etc. An outsiders opinion but that isn’t this. This is a disclaimer because this is going to be both theory and my own experiences. This is a deep dive. 

The Sea’s Love and Wrath 

Neptune in a lot of mainstream media is described as gentle but this planet can be unpredictable and harsh, with erratic energy that could rival Uranus. Neptune can be about tolerance and kindness, seeing past the ego and material. Neptune can embody or promote unconditional love and forgiveness. Because Neptune can be about dissolving and merging this planet allows us to see ourselves in others, maybe even in everyone allowing for compassion, empathy, and the ability to love very freely and openly. But the illusion and deception of Neptune is its shadow. 

Romanticizing and idealizing can be one of Neptune’s downfalls. Many times this is described as putting other’s on a pedestal but this can be applied to any area of life from work to places to ideals. From this those with strong Neptune aspects or prominent placements can find that disappointment is a frequent visitor. Neptune square, opposite, or conjunct Venus can quickly fall for others, trust others, and gravitates towards those they want to help or who have a strong personality they can meld with. Neptune opposite or square Mercury may face the frustration and disappointment of frequently being misunderstood or finding that they easily misread others or trust their words. After feeling tricked there can be wrath to these oceanic bodies. 

Where will their vengeance or anger land? It isn’t fair if they idolize you to get mad at you... sometimes their anger is self-loathing and self-destructive, other times they take you down with them. But the lesson is that Neptune can be as soft and as dangerous as the sea. 

Enlightenment and Madness

Coming down from the high, was getting lost in Neptune’s blue. Dreams and visions dancing in the back of my mind, when reality is so hard to chew. Sensation used to distract and pieces of stories stitched together to where nothing is fact.- Natasha Reeves 

There are many influences that can grant us wisdom or enlightenment throughout astrology, but I don’t see too many writings or posts about Neptune and its connection to enlightenment, nirvana, or eurekas and on the flipside also insanity and denial. Neptune can pull away the fog to give us clarity - especially when looking at the whole of things, the big picture. Neptune can famously also be the fog. 

The transit of Neptune crossing over my IC/4th House brought a lot of light to my childhood and how I was raised. However my IC is in Pisces, while Pisces isn’t the same as the planet, and many astrologers believe Neptune is not the ruling planet of Pisces - it is a sign known for illusions, confusion, and vagueness much like Neptune. I came from a place of a lot of secretiveness and vagueness, but when the “planet of illusions” crossed over I found myself accepting the instability and moments I felt lost or clueless in my life as well as looking back with remembering and understanding. 

Neptune can represent the part of us that is hard to grasp and understand, it also faces us with the idea that it is okay to have unanswered questions, to not have closure, that many times we have to create that closure or solidity ourselves. Neptune much like Jupiter is a matter of faith whether in ourselves or a higher power. 

It should be noted Neptune doesn’t always mean outside sources. Neptune is an introverted, intimate actor. It can represent how we lie to ourselves, trick ourselves, or how we push responsibility off of ourselves. Neptune also allows us to see, understand, more importantly feel what we easily ignore or can’t see. 

Life’s Extremes - Our Extremes 

“Neptune moves between the greatest extremes: from the highest spiritual awareness through imagination, fantasy, and illusion, to the depths of deceptions and disillusionment. The planet of mysticism, glamour, and enchantment, Neptune exerts a hypotonic fascination.” - Judy Hall. 

When many think of extremes they probably think Pluto before Neptune. The blue sphere isn’t going to take away the icy orb’s reputation - Pluto holds tightly in terms of extremes, but Neptune is far from a level-headed, consistent influence. Let’s touch on fantasy and illusion - two things that tends to warn of foolishness or impracticality, but fantasy is part of everyone’s life, no matter how pragmatic or mature an individual claims to be. From coping to manifesting to understanding to enjoying, fantasy is a natural human thing. Think of how often you daydream in an hour, how many books, movies, and games you indulge in, how often you find yourself being tempted by gossip, and how often you find yourself painting a picture of another in your head - negative or positive. 

Neptune symbolizes the abstract, importance, and rawness of our fantasies. Individuals with prominent Neptune aspects can find themselves easily tapping into their imagination, falling into escapism frequently, or have a great use for their wild ideas. If you think of the subject of fantasies or illusion as an extreme - it makes sense. You aren’t going to get an interesting story without the gods and monsters. Our sleeping dreams often are filled with strangeness or strong emotions. Clarity to madness, hopeless romantic highs to deeply wounded sorrows, and dissolving/surrendering to becoming whole/complete are common extremes this planet centers around. 

I have Mercury Square Neptune which tends to make one doubtful of their own opinions and intellect, can increase misunderstandings, and make communication difficult for the individual. Mercury Square Neptune can make someone highly persuasive and deceptive but it can also make one easily confused, tricked, and manipulated by others. Rationality and intuition can conflict. One experience I have with this aspect is usually swinging from extremes to being very withdrawn and quiet to interrupting others, chatting away. I’ve been described by those in my life as always saying something they didn’t expect - few words but impactful or strange ones. This is an example of the more everyday way Neptune can present itself.

“Neptune-attuned people possess glamour in the old sense of the word: the ability to bewitch. They are also impossible to categorize or pin down, demonstrating the planet’s elusive quality. Lacking strong boundaries, Neptune-attuned people are susceptible to outside influences.” - Judy Hall. It is from these lack of boundaries and fluidness we see Neptune’s extremeness. Neptune aspects can have us take on the traits of others and there is intensity in that. Let’s say we are talking about a Neptune to Mercury aspect, here may be someone who is easily energized or put down by the mood of another. Neptune to Mars can create a volatile person who fights, guards, and pursues based on their inner circle. 

Alice: Imagination and Dreams 

Personally I tend to associate Alice in Wonderland with Gemini themes. But I’ve seen her used as a metaphor for many placements and influences, such as Scorpio and Pluto. Neptune’s lostness certainly relates to the character and story. Neptune can be the planet of dreams. Challenging aspects to Saturn indicates someone who struggles to get in touch with reality while easy aspects to Saturn indicates someone who can marry big dreams or imagination to practicality. 

Neptune to Moon aspects can indicate powerful dreaming - almost intuitive or helpful in processing stress or trauma. So does Neptune in the 12th, 4th, 8th, and possibly 9th. Neptune in the 2nd can mean imagination or even dreams themselves act as a resource, maybe this is through inspiration or increasing one’s belief or confidence. Neptune in the 3rd may find themselves always remembering their dreams and keeping a journal. Neptune in the 5th blessed with all of the fun dreams of flying or dreaming of a favorite fictional character. Neptune in the 6th or 10th may find strikes of inspiration, knowledge, problem solving, or important foresight in their sleep. Neptune in the 11th may find comfort or realize important information about self and/or society in their dreams. 

Neptune is a newer planet, many times called the visionary, healer, or spiritual link or messenger. Traditional astrologers can approach the planet with a lot of skepticism. Its exaltation is in creative Leo, detriment in practical Virgo, and fall in usually praised as “visionary” Aquarius. Neptune is still new enough to be a hot topic of debate. You will find many astrologers don’t even agree on the planet’s exaltation, fall, and detriment. Leo is considered one of the most creative sign and on the topic of imagination and dreams Neptune can feel amazing in this sign. It feels confident and shinning in its ideas, fantasies, and magic. Elusive and ever-changing Neptune doesn’t feel comfortable in stable and structured Virgo. But Aquarius is an unexpected challenge for Neptune. Aquarius is about collective action - unity that Neptune also is familiar with. But Aquarius is a cold sign and despite its unconventional side can be highly practical and may dislike unrealistic ideas or approaches. Saturn is Aquarius’s co-ruler after all. Neptune wants oneness as in intimacy, not oneness in action or rebellion like Aquarius. Neptune is the magical moonlit spring to heal all your wounds, especially the emotional and spiritual kind. Aquarius is the soul forge in Asgard from Thor: The Dark World or the hypospray in Star Trek. Aquarius is modern medicine most of the time and when Neptune is dressed in Aquarius’s colors at its best it is advanced medicine we don’t understand yet but are working towards. Neptune in Aquarius can be a genius, but it is about ambitious realism to help others, Neptune at its heart is about helping the individual on the most personal level. Aquarius is random strikes of lightning coming from an active mind while Neptune flows from one spot to another, always connected and coming from an original primal, emotional place. Aquarius is the future, Neptune is outside of time. Aquarius is intellect and Neptune emotions and intuition. Aquarius is rebellion, riot, revolution, Neptune is peace or death and rebirth - Aquarius is the noise and Neptune the silence. 

Some believe Neptune’s fall is in Capricorn, which the struggles exist with Capricorn’s strictness and clinging to reality and control. Neptune in Leo is Alice looking regal like a queen or warrior going to fight the jabberwock, Neptune in Virgo can get dark, feeling uncomfortable and maybe in pain, but still important and empowering. Alice in Aquarius or Capricorn is likely a totally new story, adult Alice putting away the tea parties and white rabbits for a lab coat or pantsuit. 

What about Healing and the Spiritual? 

Let’s get to what Neptune may be most known for. That otherworldly connection, the power of love, transcendence. Neptune is dramatic and it is soothing. Neptune embraces all aspects of the human experience so we can focus more on the soul. Neptune is all about healing and how healing can come in a million ways. It can be fast and hard or slow and revealing. It is painful and messy, it goes in cycles, loops, falls and rises. 

Neptune whether the aspects are easy or challenging, whether in a house focused on the self or others, it gives everyone ways to heal and to connect. As an outer planet it gives a lot of insight into generations but in the unique placement of one’s chart it touches us with humanity. 

Pretty speeches, enchanting metaphors, crazy nights, and charming lovers lead us to our doom and a raw poem, crying ourselves to sleep, old medicine, late night graveyard walks, and maybe a rebound help us pick up the pieces. Neptune many times shows us that the unexpected is what tears us down and what lifts us back up. It teaches us nothing is inherently bad like substances, manipulation, honesty, authority, it is how it is used. Neptune shows us that you are the hero to some and the villain to others. 

Regret, shame, guilt, feeling trapped, isolation, addiction, grief, and sorrow are closely linked to Neptune. I believe many times this is due to the healing process or spiritual associations of the planet. These emotions are heavy and life-changing but they are emotions that many times need to be faced with a lot of bravery and work. They are feelings that also help us come to realizations. Neptune is associated with rebirth and if you examine emotions like regret or shame, sometimes rebirth is the only way you can shed those feelings. Neptune’s fluid nature also allows us acceptance, which is needed to deal with such heavy emotions. 

While we always talk about the lack of boundaries as a dangerous or bad thing... and it can be, these lack of boundaries like I mentioned above can allow for a very giving love and empathy, it also allows us to feel or interact with a higher power, magic, and the spiritual. Whatever your beat is - religion, magic, or the belief we are just star stuff, Neptune symbolizes our relationship with it.