#also I know he got hurt bc he was trying to calm everyone down during the riot in uldah like

[grimcatician]

Some old (2 month) ARR Alphinaud sketches and doodles bc I LOVE arr Alphinaud he is soooooooo 🥺🥺😭💖

[lovingseventeen]

can you do svt crying in front of you for the first time? (established relationship) 🥺

svt crying in front of you for the first time ✧˖*°࿐

a/n: the occasional mild angst, some are less serious than others. also sorry this took a bit, sometmes it's so easy to write for all 13 of them but other times i feel like i'm stretching ideas thin.. so i wanted to try to make this as good as i could .. i hope you enjoyed!

seungcheol:

○ it was after an argument with the members

○ really, it was just something stupid that got blown out of proportion and everyone went home with a hot head. he didn’t say much when he got home to you and you could sense that something was off

○ you decided not to hover around him and just let him come to you and vent if he wanted to

○ up until he was on the couch and you saw him check his messages and angrily throw his phone. you flinched at the sound but you also softened when you saw him angrily wipe his eyes

○ “hey.. what’s wrong?” you asked softly, carefully placing a hand on his arm

○ he just sat down and you followed. soon after, he lays down to put his head in your lap, voice muffled by his hands covering his face. “just something stupid” he sighed

○ instinctively, you start running your fingers through his hair bc you know it soothes him. you don’t say much to him in these moments but you’re glad you can help him calm down when he’s so upset (10 mins later you realize he’s fallen asleep while you trace your fingers)

jeonghan:

○ it was after an argument between the two of you

○ words were thrown around and he was being far too nonchalant and somehow that made you even more irritated

○ " i don't even know about this anymore!" you spit out

○ you'd never looked at him like that either. it's like he unlocked this new level of disappointment and he wondered if he could come back from it

○ "is this it, then?" he said, voice still far too quiet for the emotions that were running rampant in the room

○ angry and hurt tears fell from his eyes but he wouldn't break eye contact with you

○ he didn't want this to end, and he really didn't want this image of you to be the lasting one in his mind if it did

○ you softened, looking away, "i don't want it to be"

○ a small wave of relief washed over him, he could still hold onto you. he walked over to you to gently hold your hand, one that was crossed over your chest

○ "i don't want it either." you let him pull you into him

○ "can we please restart this conversation? i'm sorry it got here" he whispers into your hair

○ you embrace him back "yeah, i'm sorry too"

joshua:

○ he's a bit of an empath

○ you were crying during a movie so in the end, so was he NYDSDHSJ

○ "darling.." he says softly, heart aching over the sight of tears running down your face

○ there wasn't much he could do but to let you cry it out and feel your emotions but he wasn't expecting himself to get so sad either

○ he just wraps an arm around you, running a soothing hand up and down your back

○ he tries to look back at the movie but every sniffle and hiccup from you makes him turn back to you

○ when you notice his eyes blotchy too, it almost makes you stop altogether

○ "you're crying too, josh?"

○ "can't really help it when you're crying, baby" he chuckles, as both of you dab each other's tear's away with your own sleeves

○ "we're being a little silly right now, huh?" you slightly laugh

○ he does his little signature eye crinkle with a little snort, "maybe we are"

jun:

○ it was when he sprained his ankle pretty badly dancing and he was told to take a rest for two weeks

○ inevitably, it felt like the world was turning without him and that he wouldn't be able to keep up when he returned

○ you caught him trying to watch over a dance practice and following along in your living room

○ all was alright up until he put too much weight on his injury and fell over, landing on his bum

○ "ah, shit" he cringed, getting up to drop himself on the couch

○ "aren't you supposed to be resting, hm?" you asked gently, sitting down next to him

○ he leaned forward, placing his head in his hands, "yeah" followed by a sniffle

○ "you know the rest will let you come back and dance even better, right?" you asked gently

○ " i know, but i just want to keep up"

○ "darling you'll be able to make it up easily, you're literally the best" you encouraged

○ "you're just saying that because i'm your boyfriend" he mumbled into his hands

○ "not just because of that" you assured, wrapping your arms around his middle, "but because you're just that amazing"

hoshi:

○ he didn’t want you to find out that he was an emotional drunk. but of course, this was also kind of inevitable

○ one of the boys had texted you asking if you could pick him up after they all had a bit to drink while filming

○ by the time you drove your car up to the hybe building entrance, hoshi was waiting with an arm slung around mingyu’s shoulders (mingyu had an arm around his waist). anyone passing by would think that they were dating

○ “thanks for coming by, y/n” mingyu says, half carrying hoshi into the passenger seat and buckling him in. “any time” you laughed

○ you drove for a little bit in silence as you assumed that hoshi fell asleep. but suddenly you heard your name called out in a small voice

○ “what is it bub?”

○ a deep inhale. “myungho said i wasn’t a tiger”

wonwoo:

○ he didn't cry often in general, so you never really saw it

○ both of you were surprised when it was when he first heard circles

○ "woozi sent this over to me and said it's what he's always wanted to say so i wonder what it is"

○ he places his phone down on the table as you both listen to it

○ you're watching him more than you're listening

○ wonwoo himself is caught off-guard when he finds himself trying to hold his face back from frowning

○ suddenly his breathing is a little heavier as he's trying to control this heavy lump in his throat

○ it's by the second chorus that the tears start falling and you only reach over to hold his hand

○ he can't stop the tears by now so all he can do is wipe them away with the end of his sweater

○ you both wait for the song to finish (you yourself had to hold back from watching your boyfriend cry) and just sit in silence a little after

○ "it was beautiful" you say

○ a chuckle. "yeah it really was"

woozi:

○ it happened rarely, but rarely doesn’t mean never 

○ he couldn’t come up with new ideas for his music 

○ you visited him at his studio, but little did you know it was his nth hour of replaying the same clips over and over to jog his brain 

○ “i brought you something~~” you announced as you closed the door behind you 

○ he was hunched over his laptop, barely acknowledging your presence 

○ you knew this was unusual, so you made your way towards him, setting the food you brought down on a table 

○ when you sat next to him, he turned his face away but you didn’t miss the deep and slightly broken inhale he took 

○ immediately you’re filled with worry. “what’s wrong?” you ask, reaching to give his knee a squeeze 

○ “i’m gonna ruin our next album i can’t come up with anything” 

○ “hey,” you said softly, “hey, you know that’s not true” 

○ he finally turned to you with a stray tear falling down. he didn’t say anything out of fear of just crying more 

○ “how about this,” you offer, “have you taken a break?” he shakes his head. 

○ “have you maybe asked some of the other guys for help?” yet another head shake. 

○ “have you left this room in the last 48 hours- not including the bathroom!” you clarified, this finally made him laugh. 

dokyeom:

○ it was during a movie (bless his heart) 

○ it wasn’t even a particularly sad one, it was actually quite the opposite 

○ something about a child reuniting with their parents after being lost for so long and it touched your heart too

○ though it surprised you to look at your boyfriend hurriedly wiping tears away from his eyes 

○ maybe you fell in love with him a little more, “you okay?” you asked, pressing a kiss to his cheek

○ he sniffled but smiled nonetheless, “yeah, ‘m just happy they found each other again” 

mingyu:

○ it was after a particularly grueling day of practice

○ his body couldn't seem to keep up with the complicated choreography and he was missing half of his marks

○ the other members were making jokes at his expense with no malice whatsoever, but little did they know they were hitting a little deeper that day

○ during one of their breaks he checked his phone

○ i'm in the area getting lunch, do you want me to drop off something? you texted

○ yes please, he replied, texting a simple order

○ when you arrived at the hybe building, he met you in one of the quieter spaces meant for employee lounging so he could talk to you for a few minutes, you did come all the way

○ "hi baby" he greeted, so so glad to see you

○ "hi gyu," you smiled, but something in your gut told you something was off, "you okay?"

○ for a moment you saw his smile falter, but he quickly tried to mask it again. "yeah i'm fine, the new dance is just kinda hard"

○ you didn't want to press too much further so you just reached up to cup his cheek, "i trust that you'll get it gyu, i really do"

○ he sees how genuinely you believe your words through your eyes and this is enough to make him smile but not enough to let him fully hold back a tear

○ you wipe it away and he leans into your touch

minghao:

○ you were partaking in a little tea ceremony with him

○ maybe there was something in the air that day, the weather was beautiful, warm, but not enough to make you sweat, a simple breeze passing through

○ he snuck a peak at you sitting across from him while you were meditating

○ he was hit with a sudden sense of fulfillment

○ there you were, putting your utmost focus into something he cared about and he just felt so happy

○ your face looked so relaxed as the gentle sunshine made your skin look like it was glowing

○ since the two of you think alike, you snuck a peek at him too and caught him wiping a tear away

○ "are you okay, hao?"

○ "just happy" he smiled

seungkwan:

○ it was after one of their tours and seungkwan had been away for 3 months

○ you had started dating a month before the tour even started so he was concerned that he was leaving you too soon

○ would you still like him when he came back? what if your met someone who you could be with more often?

○ so on his day back, his stomach was flipping in excitement and in anxiety. he missed you so much, but what if you realized you didn’t miss him?

○ while he unlocks your apartment, he takes a deep breath, preparing himself to accept whatever comes

○ when he opens the door he sees you (with a biggest smile on your face) with a small cake in your hands that says “welcome home my boo!”

○ there’s also some balloons decorating your living room and he just can’t believe you did all of this

○ “y/n” is all he can say, unsure of what he could to convey how much his heart was swelling

○ “welcome home, baby” you smiled, placing the cake down to make your way to him

○ his arms opened up to you like second nature, quick to wrap around your middle to pull you close to him

vernon:

○ dang it's really hard to come up with a scenario where vernon might cry

○ either it has to be a genuinely tragic moment or something kind of random (like him)

○ maybe he was trying to cook or something and rubbed a pepper in his eye because he forgot he held it with his bare hands

○ "babe i need help" you hear from the kitchen

○ there you see your precious boyfriend with his eyes squinted and a little red, not knowing what to do with his hands

○ "what happened?"

○ "rubbed the pepper into my eye.."

○ "ah" you nod, quickly wetting a paper towel to dab at his eyes that are watering

○ pls his hands are still out as he tries not to touch anything else so he looks a little silly

○ "you're trying not to laugh aren't you" he mutters, barely able to open his eyes

○ "no" you deadpan

○ "you can't be mean like this, y/n" he pouts and frowns. if you didn't have the context of the pepper you'd really think you hurt his feelings

○ (lowkey curse him for looking kinda good even if he's crying)

○ "uh huh, poor you" you scoff, making sure to wipe his hands too

dino:

○ cried because drunk you wouldn't get into the damn car (funny how karma hit him after doing the same exact thing to jeonghang)

○ "but i wanna party some more!" you whined, barely able to stand up by yourself

○ he's struggling to carry you as you randomly drop your weight

○ he doesn't know if the tears coming from his eyes are from laughing at your state or genuine frustration that this is so hard

○ the two of you end up plopping on the pavement next to your car as your legs have magically decided to stop working

○ "baby please, my love, my darling, the love of my life, get into the car" he practically begs

○ "but i barely got to drink!"

○ "but you've drank too much!" he half-argues, he finds himself almost losing it because why is he arguing with a drunk person?

○ "honey, please" he even goes to the extent of clasping his hands together, "let's go home"

○ suddenly drunk you decides to bargain

○ "will you buy me ice cream"

○ "baby i would buy a store's entire stock just for you to get into the car"

○ your drunken self softened at this, "you would?" by this, you're also tearing up

○ "okay chan, i'll get in the car"

○ he's thanking the heavens as he helps you up and eventually fastens your seatbelt.

○ but you do make up for things when you mumble what sounds like an 'i love you' before you proceed to pass out in the passenger seat

○ (he still stops by a convenience store to buy you ice cream even as you snooze)

[flowersfortheghost]

Ghostflower week day 7: own choice

summary: Gwen has been writing a lot of songs in her free time. Her friends find her song book and to them it’s pretty obvious who most of the songs are about, even if Gwen keeps denying it.

tags: @ghostflowerweek2023

(part two of day four)

song used: Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

note: ik this is late but i had tests, wasn't home on friday bc of Six and yesterday bc i had stuff to do and i finally had free time to write and upload so sorry for it being late. anyway, i had a ton of fun during ghostflower week and it finally got me out of the writers block i've been having. this week has been so much fun and ty to everyone who read my stuff!

—

Gwen was with Hobie and Pavitr, but she wasn’t paying too much attention to them. She was writing songs, which was one of her ways to get her thoughts out without having to talk to anyone.

She had started writing love songs about Miles. The two haven’t made up. Gwen tried to apologize to Miles but that didn’t end well. It hurt to see that, especially since she loved him. Most of them now were about how she had fucked their entire friendship up, but before they were songs about how she was in love with him.

Suddenly, Gwen’s song book is ripped out of her hands. “Hey! Give that back!” She said loudly. She saw that Pavitr was holding it, and Hobie was also looking in her song book. “Gwendy, calm down. Why do you care so much about a notebook that’s practically falling apart?” Hobie said.

“Woah, sounds like Gwen is in love with someone!”

“No I’m not!” Gwen said in defense. “Oh really? Your song lyrics tell otherwise.” Pavitr said. “Is it that guy from 1610?” Hobie asked. “No, what makes you think that?”

“It’s quite obvious.”

“Damnit…” Gwen mumbled to herself. She quickly grabbed her song book back. “Your songs are good though. It seems like you put a lot of effort into them.” Pavitr said, trying to change the conversation a little bit. “Thanks I guess.” Gwen said.

“I’m guessing you two haven’t talked yet.”

“What’s there to talk about? He told me himself that he basically hates me.”

Hobie sighed. “He probably just needed time. You tried to apologize right after everything happened. Now he had time to think about it and form an opinion.”

“I’m going home now.” Gwen said, opening up a portal. She didn’t want to talk about this. Not right now. So she just went home without saying goodbye.

—

Gwen was back at her own earth in her own room. Even though that thing happened between her and her dad, it still felt nice to be back in her own room. She couldn’t deny the fact she had missed this place.

Gwen wanted to write. Another song about her feelings towards Miles. This one was a little different. It wasn’t about her being in love with him, it was about everything that went down in their friendship.

About how she betrayed him but didn’t mean to, about the fact they had fought about it, about how she didn’t know what they were once they made it. Their entire fight upset her deeply, and she regrets everything she had done.

The words I speak

Are wildfires and weeds

They spread like some awful damn disease

And I swear, I didn't mean what I said

I swear, I didn't mean it

As her emotions kept building up, her mind kept coming up with ways to describe her feelings and thoughts in song form. She kept on writing, feeling extremely focused despite the emotions she felt.

Are we allies or enemies?

This will be the death of me

This will be the death of me

All is fair in love, and war

But I can't fight with you anymore

This will be the death of me

After a while, she had finished her song. She knew she would probably do nothing more to it, maybe try something on her drums with it but it wouldn’t be used for her ban. This was just something for her.

—

“Hobie, I don’t understand why you were insisting on letting me come here.” Gwen said when she was out of the portal. She was now in Earth-1610, Miles’ dimension. “We have talked it out, or tried but-”

“You two need to talk about this proporally.” Gwen sighed with frustration. Before she could even open up another portal to send her back home, she saw Miles swinging towards her. “There’s no turning back now.” She thought to herself.

“See you later, Gwendy.” Hobie said before swinging away. Then Miles approached her. “Hi.” Gwen said quietly. “Hi.” Miles said in response. Then there was silence, the two didn’t know where to begin. “We need to talk.” Miles said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah, we do.”

—

Gwen and Miles were now both at the Williamsburg Banks Building. They had their little fight here, so it felt weird coming back here. Gwen didn’t know what to say, then her song lyrics came back to mind.

What happens now?

Do we have another go?

Do we bow out, and take our separate roads?

I'll admit I've had my doubts

But I want to be let in, not out

But I want to be let in, not out

“I’m sorry for how I acted towards you. I probably should’ve listened to your side of the story.” Miles began. “You shouldn’t apologize. It’s my fault. This wouldn’t have happened if I just..didn’t choose the society over you.”

 “I actually wanted to ask you, why did you choose them over me?” Miles asked, curiosity blossoming in his mind. Gwen had to explain the situation now, which wasn’t something she liked explaining. “I had no choice. I already explained that thing between me and my dad but..” Her voice trailed off. She took a moment to fight back her tears before continuing.

“I just didn’t have a choice. My dad pointed a gun at me, tried to arrest me so I had nowhere to go. That society was the only place I could stay since I had no one. My dad was all I had left..” 

“I didn’t..know that was the case.”

“It’s okay.” Gwen took a deep breath. She was surprised her tears still didn’t fall. “So yeah, that was the reason why. But I would do anything to take back what I did. I’m so, so, so sorry, Miles. And I can understand if you still can’t forgive me or trust me or-”

“I forgive you.”

Gwen was silent. It felt like the tears could and would start falling, which they did. She hugged Miles tightly, she has never hugged someone so tightly before. “Thank you for forgiving me.” She said.

Miles didn’t respond to this. He just hugged Gwen back, holding her tightly as well. After a few minutes of silence, Miles broke it. “Also, Hobie showed me your song book.”

Gwen let go of the hug, her face heating up from embarrassment. “So that’s why it has been missing for the past few days. That son of a-” 

“You're really good at writing songs.” Miles said, leading Gwen to stop her thoughts. “Oh..thanks.” She said. She hoped he wouldn’t ask who her songs were about, but then again she did mention that she loved him during their fight.

“I know I’ve said this before during our fight but..I love you, Miles.” Gwen said, finally having the courage to do so. “I love you too, Gwen.” Gwen smiled and so did Miles. Finally things were good again. And Gwen knew when she was back home, she would write another song.

[whatsaudreythinkingabout]

Matthew Patel hearcannons pls XD (I luv him s0 much it hurtz)

omg my first ask! well, ask and ye shall receive! he’s probably my second fav ex (behind roxy, of course) so i definitely have thought about him quite a bit

So anyway:

Matthew Patel headcanons!

I’m still figuring out an exact backstory behind how he got his fire powers (I have a vague idea figured out but it is partially influenced by the religion/mythology of a culture outside my own & I just wanna make sure I do enough research to make sure I’ve written it respectfully, or else just do something different), but he’s had them for as long as he can remember. He had a hard time controlling them when he was younger, and that unfortunately led to him being ostracized by his peers growing up. He did have a loving family, though; his mother did her best raising him given the circumstances, and the two have a close relationship to this day.

He met Ramona in seventh grade, and she was one of the first people to not be afraid of him or label him as “weird;” in fact, she thought his powers were actually pretty cool. She was a bit of an outcast herself, and the two of them bonded over their shared status as misfits.

They also bonded over their shared hatred of the jocks; Matt because they bullied him, and Ramona bc they kept trying to hit on her. You know how it goes from here; they teamed up and took them down.

They dated for about a week and a half, but then Ramona dumped him out of nowhere, claiming she just wasn’t interested anymore. Matt was very hurt and confused by this, and it soon became clear to him that she was just using him for his powers (which was true to an extent, but she ultimately did care about him as a friend).

Angry and humiliated, Matt lost control of his temper (ergo, his powers, which are largely connected to his emotions) and his entire body lit on fire in a sudden burst of rage. He thankfully didn’t hurt Ramona, but she was standing close enough to get startled pretty badly without getting burned.

He only calmed down once he saw the look of terror in her eyes and the way she flinched back and he realized, with horror, what he had done. He let his anger get the better of him. He could’ve seriously injured her, or even killed her; the first true friend he ever made. And now she only saw him the way everyone else did. He tried to apologize, but she ran away frightened before he could get a word in. He’s carried the guilt of that day with him ever since.

Things were super awkward between them for the rest of middle school; they both wanted to say something about how they handled things, but were both too chicken to make the first move, so they just kinda avoided each other until they went to different high schools.

It was around this time he accidentally summoned the Demon Hipster Chicks, who helped him learn how to better hone his abilities, while also encouraging him to the dark side. This is where his “evil” phase began; he decided that if people were going to see him as a villain, then so be it (except he wasn’t actually evil at his core, just a melodramatic theatre kid edgelord who leaned into the Disney Villain schtick so people would quit bothering him even tho no one really took him THAT seriously). He had much better control of his powers at this point and was at a new school with mostly different people than his elementary/middle school, but didn’t see the point in making new friends bc he figured it would just end badly (if you remember the “they all hated me” scene from Meet the Robinsons, that was kinda his attitude during that period of his life). He definitely had a few girls try to flirt with him who thought he was all dark and brooding and mysterious, but he brushed them off bc he didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Ramona (unfortunately, this only made them more interested).

Several years pass, Matt gets a better handle on his powers, and Gideon recruits him into the League of Evil Exes. Matt is hesitant at first because he just wants to forget any of that ever happened, but Gideon plays on his insecurities (as he does with all the other exes) and conflicting feelings towards Ramona, and is able to successfully manipulate him to his side.

Before the fights started, Gideon had all the exes get together for a certain period of time to train and spar with each other so they could prepare (he probably called it “team bonding exercises” like the corporate asshole he is).

It’s during this point that he meets Lucas Lee, who he develops a (heavily repressed) crush on (I’m still deciding whether I hc him as gay or bi, but either way he likes men) and Roxy Richter, who he eventually befriends BUT starts out developing an intense, bitter rivalry with. Neither can stand the other; they’re constantly bickering with each other (often over whether pirates or ninjas are superior), trying to push each other’s buttons or one-up the other, or taunting each other during sparring matches. Lucas, being the chill dude he is, usually acts as a mediator when things get heated.

But one day Lucas isn’t around while they’re sparring, things go haywire, a nerve gets struck, and Matt accidentally burns Roxy’s arm during their fight. Matt freaks out because 1. he’s reminded of what happened with Ramona and 2. he doesn’t wanna get in trouble with Gideon (think of it like someone fighting with their younger sibling and hitting them, then the younger one starts crying & the older one is trying to calm them down before their parents show up), so he whisks her away so he can bandage her up himself (bc when you grow up like he has, you gotta know how to treat a burn wound).

Roxy protests throughout the whole process, insisting that she can take care of herself just fine (even though it’s at least a second-degree burn), but Matt insists that no she can’t so just let him do this one thing. They start to open up to one another and learn about each other’s reasons for being in the League & history with Ramona, and begin to realize they have more similarities than they initially thought. They both realize that Ramona had used them in some capacity (Matt for his powers, Roxy for her sexuality; hooo boy just you WAIT until I get into her backstory), they still have a lot of conflicting feelings about her (Matt feels guilty over almost hurting her, while Roxy is still in love with her at this point), and they both just don’t like Scott.

From then on, they become the most inseparable best friends to ever best friend. Shortly after, Lucas gets roped into their shenanigans and they form an unstoppable trio of besties. Roxy is all-too-aware of Matt’s crush on Lucas and teases him about it every chance she gets.

Things are fun, and then Matt’s fight comes up and he gets demolished. Roxy is devastated, Lucas can only stare in shock (HC that during fights, the remaining League members are scattered throughout the audience as a precautionary measure to make sure everything goes as planned & no one gets cold feet), & Roxy makes Lucas promise he’ll win the next fight for Matt.

Matt respawns in Subspace (think the scene where Scott almost gets killed & wakes up in the dream desert, except it looks different for everyone), and once his body fully heals he wakes up back in his room having learned his lesson, but also realizing that Gideon has been using them all as pawns.

During Lucas’s fight he manages to get Roxy away from the crowd, she realizes he’s not dead (first she punches him in the gut & then hugs him while saying something to the effect of “don’t you ever scare me like that again you asshole”) and he tries to convince her that the League isn’t worth it. She realizes the situation she’s gotten herself in, but feels like she’s already in too deep (plus part of the reason she joined was to prove herself; both to Ramona and in general, and she’s still determined to do so), and even if she wanted to leave (which she does now that her only friends are gone) they’re all bound by contract until the job is done.

At some point during all this, he moves in with Lucas (just as housemates…at first *wink*), and then Roxy moves in with them for a period of time until she starts dating Envy and they move in together. Between the three of them, he’s the best cook by a landslide.

He does eventually reconcile with Ramona after the events of the main story (NOT romantically, just for the purposes of getting closure); he apologizes for losing his temper and almost burning her to a crisp when they were kids, and to his surprise she responds that, while she was definitely scared in the moment, she ultimately hasn’t held it against him too much since he was still controlling his powers, and they acknowledge that they were both dumb preteens who didn’t know any better and were dealing with dumb preteen feelings.

I’m debating for the above scene to take place while he’s in Subspace post-battle (once again, similar to Scott after he gets killed), but I’ve also already had a similar scene with Roxy planned out in my HC for a long time (once again, just you WAIT until I get into that); I’m wondering if something like this could happen for all the exes so she could have a chance to get closure with them if she wanted to but idk if this would be too repetitive or defeat the purpose of her character arc in the canon story.

His friendship with Roxy is almost entirely made up of affectionate snark, daring each other to do dumb shit, gossip, attempting to one-up each other on karaoke night (or just scream-singing in the car together) and at various video games, and incredibly long-winded conversations about their favorite movies and respective love lives (and unsuccessfully trying to convince the other to just tell their crush how they feel). To give you an idea, imagine Steve & Robin from Stranger Things if they leaned more chaotic neutral.

As mentioned earlier, he’s a huge, proudly unabashed theatre kid; he grew up watching a lot of musicals & Bollywood movies & was pretty heavily involved in his high school drama club when he wasn’t being an edgy loner.

Thanks to his powers, he himself is completely immune to fire.

There’s probably more I can’t think of off the top of my head, that I’m still figuring out, or that was covered in my “randomly assorted” post, but if I think of anything else I’ll add it here!

[fentrashcat]

Tourettes Awareness Month, day 8!

I forgot how time works and let days 6 and 7 pass wo a post 😅

Today I think I'm just going to talk about my family and how they react to my Tourette's.

Soft TW for some ableism, but it was from ignorance not malice.

⚠️Everyone who has TS or tic disorders will have different experiences, this is just mine.

Grandma

I want to preface this with the fact that my grandma didn't mean anything by this but it was kind of hurtful right after I got diagnosed. When she found out she said "oh I know what that is! There's this guy who comes to the shops and stomps around and chants dirt words under his breath, [grandma's friend] said he has that. Does this mean you're going to start cursing all the time now?"

Now I cursed like a sailor already, but never around my family, ESPECIALLY never around my grandma, and as a newly diagnosed 17yo, that made me really anxious.

Later one when I developed my "duck-duck" tic the first time she heard it she asked "was that what I think it was" and I clarified it was DUCK not FUCK. For the next week or so afterwards, anytime she heard it she'd be like "oh its still good, okay". I made some kind of comment (I don't remember it now, but knowing me I made a joke of it) about how I'd be upset if my happy tic was vulgar, and she stopped mentioning it.

Also when she found out sudden loud noises trigger tics (and saw me ticcing myself dizzy bc thunder), she would always tell me to come over if storms were too much for me, since we live nearby, or she'd text to make sure I was okay in big storms.

Grandpa

So my grandpa has had a lot of growth in the past few years regarding mental health and disabilities, and a lot of it is because he's been around me more. He was often the one to drive me home when I had tic attacks at work. He used to pressure me a lot about not being able to drive, but after seeing how twitchy I get with bad drivers, he kind of dropped it 😅.

I also ended up talking to him about the trouble I had trying to get disability, and later that day he sent me some resources. He also started asking and trying to learn more about my TS, although his timing wasn't always great as he'd ask me during an attack so I usually couldn't answer right away.

Also when I mentioned that I had a good day while at the disability evaluation and should've gone on a bad day he said something like "Yeah, sitting here talking to you like this I'd never know, but I've seen it when it get bad, and it's rough".

Mom

My mom isn't diagnosed but gets tics, it's usually either echolalia, or a response to mine. She mimics the generic Samsung text tone (but hasn't changed it), and will answer some of my tics with something kind of related. A "duck-duck" from me might get a "goose" from her, my "ding" causes her to "dong", my "bing" gets her to "bong".

Whenever I get ticcy around her she tries to help, either distracting me, getting me somewhere I can calm down, or reminding me I don't need to apologize or suppress if she notices me doing that.

I'm running out of energy so just doing these ones for now, might do a part 2 with my Aunt, Cousin, and Baby Cousin. For now though thank you for reading, and feel free to leave an ask if you have any questions 😊

Also forgot to mention if you check out the fentics tag below there's more stuff on tics and Tourettes that I've posted or reblogged.

[cheemken]

Tags from @/thenawidow (sorry idk if you really wanted to be tagged but this is a cool concept cbdndn hahah)

That'd be dope tho ncmxnx hahahh

Like,, Cyn being so so loyal to Diantha as well, and is one of the few Coven Heads who really try to encourage people to join the Empress' Coven, and ofc low-key a suck up as she tries to go above and beyond compared to the other Coven Heads, as Diantha would give her praises for her good work

And since I just made a concept abt Hau being undercover to get back Drasna's journal, imagine if Diantha also trusted Cynthia enough to watch over him to make sure that he won't deviate from his mission. Cyn was more than happy to accept ofc, anything for the empress

Tho, Cynthia was also rather impulsive, when she saw Iris all alone, she couldn't help but go to her and see what's all the fuss abt this human. It didn't take long for Iris to find out that Cynthia was part of the Empress' Coven, the head of Potions as well, as there's a clear sigil on her wrist. Iris backed away from her, even asking her what she wanted, but Cyn just smiled, going on how the empress might be impressed w her if she just brings Iris to her

Ofc, Iris put up a fight, even going on as to why Cynthia still follows Diantha. And Cyn tells her that Dia is the one who'll save them all, she just wanted to make sure that everyone in the demon realm is safe

"do you really not see that she's using you?"

"Diantha had warned me about you humans. You're trying to make me go against her, aren't you? Well.. so sorry to disappoint but," she grabs a potion from her belt, "I know better than to fall for your lies."

And insert another cool fight scene bc yeah ofc, then during the fight, Iris was still going on abt Diantha, how Cynthia didn't even wonder why Dia had to limit the others' magic, why she's the only one who can use any type of magic, "don't you think that's unfair for all of you?" But Cynthia, ever the loyal devotee, paid no heed, going on how Diantha said it would be for everyone's best interest, how it would help the people be more united, and it'd lessen the casualties as Diantha had said that those who are careless would hurt not only themselves but others as well. That's what Diantha had told everyone in the Boiling Isles, only those who are strong can wield different types of magic, and Diantha is the only one strong enough to do so.

But ough cbxnxb imagine if Drayden finally finds them tho, and was there ready to fight Cynthia, but Cyn knew she shouldn't really draw much attention to herself, she'd rather not disappoint the empress. So she left, leaving no trace behind.

Imagine tho when she got to the castle, as she was about to head to her chambers, Diantha was there in the hallway leading to her room. Cynthia bowed before her, but she could feel vines wrap around her legs, forcing her to kneel. She looked up at Diantha, her features were calm and serene, but there's that burning hatred in her cold blue eyes that made Cynthia shiver.

"where have you been?"

"at.. at Bonesborough, your highness."

"I don't remember telling you to go there."

"ah, I was looking after Hau—"

"I didn't assign Hau there today either."

Fear settled within Cynthia as Dia's eyes glowed brighter, as Cynthia was abt to explain, a flash of light went past the right side of her face, shutting her up. Diantha chuckled, crouching down to Cynthia's level, a hand on her face, gently running a thumb over Cynthia's cheekbone. "Cynthia..." She breathed out, and god Cynthia leaned in on her touch. But Dia's touch became rough, her thumb almost pressing on Cyn's lower eyelid, "don't make me hurt you again." She feigned concern, and just chdmdn Cynthia feeling phantom pains on her left side, the jagged scar on her face almost felt like it was burning, remembering the time she failed a mission and her left eye paid the price. She promised herself never again will she disappoint Diantha.

"of course, my queen.." Cynthia managed to say, "it won't happen again."

Diantha stood up straight again, smiling at her, "I'll be counting on that." And she left, the vines on Cynthia's legs finally freed her from their grasps.

[nationalharryleague]

Two for the Show

Summary: Jeff plans for Harry’s new opening act to be more than that. 

Genre: Famous Fake Dating! 

Word Count: 17.1k!

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A/N: Hey babes!! This is something I’ve been working on since December now and I’m so fucking proud of it and how it turned out!!! It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written and I’m so so so excited to hear what everyone has to say!! Giant thank you’s go out to the incredible soph (@theharriediaries​) and Lu (@meetmymouth​) bc this never would have come to fruition without them and their help!! Please let me know what you think!! More of my writing can be found in my masterlist!! Happy reading y’all :)

***

Keeping appearances in the public eye is a delicate balance.

If Y/N was being honest with herself, everything Full Stop Management had ever suggested to her had worked, and very well. When they suggested her music took a more pop direction, they set her up with a team of fantastic producers and her music sales and popularity skyrocketed. And when they set up an appointment with a celebrity stylist to figure out her signature style, it worked; they turned her into the 1970’s inspired goddess she had always dreamed of being. Even the hours of media training that she had been put through worked, helping her learn how to bob and weave even the most intrusive of interview questions.

But this time, she thought they might be going too far.

“Jeff,” she began with a sigh and a doubtful shake of her head, “I don’t know about this one.”

“It’s just a few months before and during the tour,” explained the man sitting across from her at the long conference table. “You’ll be seen in public a few times to drum up publicity for the tour and your album, maybe do an interview or two together, and some light PDA.”

His expression was honest and earnest. In the time he had represented her, he had never done anything to her that didn’t help her succeed. It was not hard for her to believe that he just wanted what was best for her and her career.

But something kept holding her back.

“I just got my heart broken in the most public way,” she said softly, absentmindedly fiddling with the base of her ring finger where an engagement ring once sat. “Isn’t it a little too soon to be seen jumping back into a whirlwind romance?”

“I don’t think so. If anything, it will make James look even worse than he already does after what he did to you.” She had to admit the idea of a little revenge did perk her ears up a bit. “And it doesn’t hurt that Harry is so universally loved and known for being such a good guy.”

That was another reason she was skeptical of this entire plot. This was Harry Styles they were talking about; Harry fucking Styles. She had only met him once or twice while working out details for her to be the opening act for his upcoming tour, but she had been a big fan of his and idolized him since she was a teen. Just meeting him threw her inner 16 year old self for a loop, let alone trying to pretend she was in love with him.

In all honesty, it probably wouldn’t be too hard on her end once she got over being starstruck; she wasn’t so sure she still wasn’t kind of in love with him, or at least the version the public saw.

“Listen,” Jeff began again, his voice taking on a bluntness, “no one cares about the opening act. No one bought tickets to see you; they’re there to see Harry.” His words stung but she knew it was the truth. “But if they think you are a part of Harry’s life, they care about you too. And they will keep on caring about you after they leave the show.” Her apprehensiveness must have been clear on her face when he put on a gentle smile. “He’s a really nice person. I promise.”

“I know,” she breathed, a small pout finding its way to her lips. “Fine,” she conceded after a moment, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically to signal surrender. “I’m in.”

A triumphant grin spread across his face. “Thank you. I’ll go call Harry and tell him you’re down.” She watched as he got up from his chair and came towards her, pressing a brief and friendly kiss to the top of her head. “You won’t regret this, Y/N.”

“I better not, Azoff,” she chuckled while shaking her head slightly.

Soon she was alone in the conference room, basking in the light from the floor to ceiling windows that sat before her.

“What did I just get myself into?” she mumbled quietly to herself.

***

The answer to that question came two weeks later when she was sitting across a table from the Harry Styles at a small outdoor brunch spot in LA. Their meeting place was strategic, a small restaurant, not too flashy so it didn’t look like they were seeking attention, but outdoors where anyone could see. It was only a matter of time before he was recognized, and the sighting was almost guaranteed to be trending on Twitter only minutes later.

She couldn’t say that she wasn’t nervous. The inside of her mouth had been chewed raw and the bags under her eyes showed she had been having trouble sleeping in the nights leading up to their first appearance together. By the end of the day, she would most likely have countless articles written about her and possibly have millions of angry fangirls coming after her; even though their “relationship” wouldn’t be officially confirmed for a few weeks.

If all went to Jeff’s plan, she would become an A-lister overnight.

She stood in front of her closet for over an hour, trying on and taking off outfits before finally settling on her favorite pair of bright red corduroy flares and a crisp white textured halter top. She paired the outfit with a new pair of heeled leather boots. They were a flashy pair that were split down the middle, bright yellow on one side and white with yellow stars on the other, hoping Harry would appreciate the bold colors.

She meticulously did her makeup, sure to match her lipstick color exactly to the shade of her pants; and spent far too long in front of the mirror fussing with her hair, praying it would lay the way she wanted it to.

She knew that she was going to be photographed in some way shape or form, and with the fashion icon himself. She had to look good. He had been on the cover of Vogue for god’s sake.

When she finally arrived at the cafe, Harry sat quietly across from her. He looked casual, or as casual as Harry Styles gets. A yellow t-shirt, that was tight enough to look as if it was painted on, showed off his muscular chest and arms. His iconic tattoos illustrated his arms and she hoped he wouldn’t notice as she covertly tried to examine closely. He uncomfortably ran his palms down the legs of his high waisted denim flares that had been paired with his signature pearl necklace and ratty, but well loved, white vans.

And she couldn’t forget his rings. His signature gold ‘H’ and ‘S’ looked back at her as he gently grasped his flute filled to the brim with a mimosa, bringing it to his pink lips that were surrounded by the short stubble he had been wearing lately.

The pair sat in a slightly awkward silence, both seeming to down their mimosas quickly just because it was something to do with their hands and could occupy their lips so they didn’t have to talk.

To say she was panicking, wouldn’t be too much of an over exaggeration. She was sitting across from one of the world’s biggest stars, and as one of his biggest closeted fans. The things he could do for her career were astronomical and it was hard to ignore that, but she also had a hard time getting over the way his hair seemed to fall into perfect tousled curls and his dreamy green eyes.

She had been in love with him (or at least the idea of him) since she was 16. She couldn’t help it.

But the bottomless mimosas helped to break her anxiety, and apparently his as well, as they both began to feel a slight buzz.

“So how did Jeff end up talking you into this?” Harry eventually broke the silence, the alcohol lowering his naturally shy inhibitions just enough to kick off their conversation.

She let a playful eye roll take over her face before she began. “Oh Jeff,” she said jokingly, letting out a long sigh. “I was convinced somewhere in between ‘it’ll make your ex look bad’ and a stern ‘no one ever cares about the opening act,’” she chuckled, while sarcastically wagging her finger in the air, dramatically re-enacting his scolds.

He sucked in a breath through his teeth, letting out a dramatic ‘ouch.’ “He’s not always gentle, is he?” matching her chuckle.

“He knows where to hit you where it hurts,” she laughed, while nodding in agreement. “How did he convince you?”

“Coincidently, he also took a low blow involving my ex. I believe his words were ‘You wrote an entire album about her and haven’t dated anyone since and it makes you look kind of pathetic.’” He dramatically used air quotes and did his best impression of Jeff’s American accent. She couldn’t hold back the giggles that erupted from her.

“Oh my goodness,” she let out through slightly buzzed giggles, “you definitely win.”

From that point, their conversation began to flow more easily, easing her anxiety as she learned he was generally easy to talk to. He laughed at her jokes, and she laughed at his. He really did have the calming and disarming quality that people always said he had, like could melt down any walls and convince you to be honest with him, even if you didn’t really want to be. She was shocked to find that she wanted him to genuinely be a friend to her so badly. He was just so nice and such a good listener.

Their conversation took a turn when Harry’s super power of knowing when his picture was being taken kicked in. “Give me your hand,” he said to her, diverting from the pleasant conversation they had been having about their families. “Don’t look but there’s someone across the street taking photos of us.”

His instructions brought her back to the reality that they weren’t really friends and that all of this was for show.

She brought her hand up to meet his, strategically resting on the side of the table that faced the street, giving the camera the best view. The cool metal of his hand full of rings felt good against her skin that had been baking in the hot LA sun and he passed his thumb over her knuckles with faux affection.

She couldn’t help but feel a dishonest weight pulling on her heart. She knew everything was going to plan and this was all for the best, but it also felt slightly wrong. She played with her small heart shaped earring to distract herself from the sinking feeling.

“Harry,” she began, knowing the people across the street were out of ear shot. Her voice brought his attention from her hand back up to her eyes. “Does this feel wrong to you at all?”

“How so?”

“It just feels dishonest, like we’re lying to millions of people, our–well, mostly your fans.” She couldn’t help but correct herself.

His eyes softened at her words, like he was taking in the innocence she still held onto after only being in the industry for a short time, compared to his decade in the spotlight.

“I try not to think of it as lying,” he spoke slowly after a moment of thinking. He nodded along softly to punctuate his words. “When you think about all this as lying, it starts to weigh pretty heavy on you as a person. I try to be as honest as possible in my music and daily life, but that’s not always what people want to see. They want a show that will entertain them, and it is our job to give it to them.”

“I see,” she mused.

They sat together for another hour or so, allowing their small mimosa buzz to wear off enough for them to drive the short distances to their homes. The pair eventually found their way back to a comfortable conversation, but Harry’s comment about being in the public eye still weighed on her.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure if all of this was worth it. Y/N was a master at dodging a question and turning the charm to 10 when it was needed, but she wasn’t a liar and she definitely wasn’t an actress. She hoped she (or Jeff) hadn’t bitten off more than she could chew with all of this.

Harry eventually walked her back to her car that was parked a few blocks away, and while she was sure he was doing it for the cameras, she didn’t doubt that he would have done it even if they weren’t there. He just seemed like that kind of guy to her; caring and trustworthy.

“Thank you for a very nice date, Harry,” she said, winking and chuckling along with the extra emphasis she put on the last word.

“My pleasure,” he smiled down at her. He moved along with her as she walked to the driver's side door, opening it for her like a perfect gentleman. The two stood close, his body hovering over her’s as they stood inside the open door. Her heart rose to her throat as he leaned down to her and pressed a gentle kiss to her burning cheek.

Y/N  looked back up at him with rosy cheeks and a tightlipped bashful smile. She watched as he walked backward carefully, taking her hand that had been locked with his until he was too far and let it fall back to her body.

She situated herself in her drivers seat and was ready to leave when she heard a knocking on the passenger side window that startled her. Harry had bent himself over and was motioning for her to roll the window down. When she did, he leaned himself in, an honest look in his eyes.

“Before you go,” he said gently. “A word of advice from someone who had been in the public eye for a long time,” he spoke with a tender yet serious tone, eyes locking with hers. “When you go home today, don’t go on social media. People are mean, and it’s just going to hurt.” She nodded along with his words and watched as he pinched his bottom lip. “And when you inevitably can’t resist, text me if you need to talk about it.”

***

They must have done a good job putting on their show because within an hour of her returning home to her apartment, they were all anyone was talking about. Their names were trending worldwide #1 on Twitter. Streams of Y/N’s debut album were up by 800%, and even Harry’s streams had taken a considerable jump. Y/N had gained 40,ooo new followers and views on every interview she had ever done were steadily rising.

All was going according to Jeff’s plan.

Harry’s words circled her brain for hours. “Don’t go on social media,” she heard him say over and over again as she paced her apartment, only stopping to look at the phone sitting on the kitchen counter every so often.

She had taken a shower, done her hair, tried to watch TV, cooked herself dinner, and even tried to sit down and write a song; it all got her nowhere fast. The unknown was eating at her inside.

Y/N broke when she heard the small ding signaling she had gotten a text message. She had all but sprinted to see who it was, reunited with the outside world through her touch screen. Unsurprisingly, it was from Jeff; the message sent to her and an unknown number she assumed to be Harry’s.

Good job, kiddos., was all it read but there was a photo attached to the message. Her heart stopped while she waited for the photo to load, cursing her slow wifi in the process. After a few breathless moments, the photo came through.

It was a screenshot from the website of one of the biggest entertainment magazines in the country. A picture of him kissing her cheek was the front page of the website.

Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N Rumored To Be Music’s New Power Couple Ahead of Tour

She was honestly speechless. This was huge.

She would like to say the sheer shock blurred her judgement, but the curiosity just got the better of her. Harry’s words repeated over and over again in her head, telling her not to, even as her finger connected with the icon of the little blue bird.

She was the most talked about topic in the entire world, her name hovering in bold letters on the trending page. She did everything she could to not click on her name, but her fingers did it all on her own.

The first few tweets were nice. Someone said they liked her style and that they looked cute together as a couple. Another said that they had always enjoyed her music and that they were happy for them.

But as she scrolled, it became harsher and just mean. People commented on her weight, said she couldn’t sing, and criticized her personality as seeming fake and forced. Her eyes were locked on the screen, unable to look away, as her heart began to break and few tears began to roll.

It took one final, and the most painful, tweet for her to consider deleting her account completely. She swiped out of the app fast, but the words were still burned into her brain.

Y/N is using Harry, just like she used James before he got rid of her and found someone better.

The words knocked the wind out of her, pouring salt on an open wound that had yet to heal.

She also had the little blue bird for that heartbreak as well. When she opened the app two months ago, the first thing she saw was pictures of her (former) fiance, James, with his tongue down some girl’s throat. At the time she had been devastated, her heart broken beyond repair.

It felt like no one else in the world could understand the way she was feeling. If she was in this position because of another person, they must get it too. The text to Harry was already sent before she had time to think it over.

I looked and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen.

His response came only seconds later.

Don’t be sorry. It’s hard not to. Are you alright?

She had to think about his question, unsure if she knew the answer. Tears were still running down her face and she felt like she was a target the entire world had decided it was open season on. Logically, she knew these people never thought she would see these awful things, but it didn’t excuse the hurt she felt when she did.

I don’t know. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel.

She felt like she was bothering him, even though he had offered to be there for her. He wasn’t her best friend, or a close confidant; he was her fake publicity boyfriend. He had real friends he wanted to talk to or maybe even a real girlfriend underwraps somewhere. Her body was wracked with guilt as she thought it over.

People are just mean on the internet, okay? They think they can say whatever they want without repercussions. I’m so sorry that you are being targeted because of me.

Before she got a chance to think through a proper response to him, her phone dinged with another text. It was from Jeff again.

Really good job, kiddos.

Y/N was confused. They hadn’t done anything else but be seen together today. Her sick sense of curiosity got her again before she opened Twitter again and looked up Harry’s name. He had tweeted for the first time in six months only a few moments ago.

@Harry_Styles: We treat people with kindness.

***

The next time she saw him was two days later at yet another public meet up Jeff had arranged for them. Unfortunately this time, she had become just as famous as Harry seemingly overnight, the flames of her new found fame growing even larger after he had sent that tweet.

While the fame had grown, the hate had calmed since his statement, which most had taken as an official declaration of their relationship. Now, that was not to Jeff’s plans.

She had to fight her way out of her apartment complex, wearing a pair of massive dark sunglasses with circular lenses and shielding her face with her hands the best she could. But she did have to admit that the electric orange fabric of her jumpsuit probably didn’t do much to help her blend in and avoid the attention of the paparazzi that had now found out where she lived.

Harry was sitting at the table by himself facing the back of the cafe when she arrived, two cups of coffee waiting before him to be drank together placed delicately on the table. He had his head down, buried in a book, before she startled him with a hug from behind. Her cheek connected with his warm neck where she buried her head into him and she took in his dizzying cologne.

She felt him jump beneath her as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing a dramatic and cheesy kiss to his cheek, feeling his light stubble prick her chapsticked lips. “My hero,” she joked, trying to bring at least a little humor to the man who had just about jumped out of his skin at her touch.

It felt like she was crossing a boundary, and she was pretty sure she was, but she just needed to thank him and a hug felt like the best way to do that while in a semi-crowded coffee shop. Also, playing up that they were madly in love didn’t hurt.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, a hand flying over his chest in surprise to feel his racing heartbeat. “You scared the shit out of me.” Once he settled for a moment, his arm moved across his chest to rest on her arm. His touch was gentle and soft, holding her there gently like he didn’t want her to release him from her grasp. She tried not to think about it too much as she slipped her arms off of him, making her way to the seat that was clearly meant for her across from him.

“I’m sorry that I scared you. A little jumpy today?” she teasingly questioned.

“Hey, watch it,” he playfully threatened. “I believe you called me your hero about thirty seconds ago.”

“I guess I did,” she quipped over the mug she was bringing to her lips. It was sweet but not too sweet, with cream but not too much, and still piping hot; just the way she liked it. “I don’t think it’s too far off,” she smiled before turning back to the coffee. “Good coffee,” she mused. “Just the way I like it.”

“Good. I texted Jeff for your order,” he informed her, the gesture being so thoughtful and sweet she could have melted into a puddle right there and then. “And I think ‘hero’ might be a bit much,” he tacked on.

“Don’t be humble, Harry.” While her voice was still light and held a jesting tone, she meant her words. “You made the entire internet leave me alone, for the most part,” she clarified as there were definitely some nasty messages still floating around Twitter, “in five words.”

“It was the least I could do,” he said while shaking his head slightly, seeming to deflect her words.

“You could have done absolutely nothing.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand in hers like they had staged at the cafe a few days earlier; but this time, it was an honest gesture, not one for a role they were both meant to be playing. Her words were serious, punctuating each with a gentle nod of her head. “I mean it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” His eyes held the same truthfulness and honesty she hoped she was mirroring in her own. “I know all of this,” he paused and gestured between them with his free hand, “is for publicity, but I consider you a friend. It was hard to watch it all go down like that. You’re a good person and you didn’t deserve all that. I had to do something.”

There was a warmth that flooded her chest. He called me his friend, she thought to herself, fighting back a big toothy grin. She had been under the impression that all of this was just work for him, something he was doing just to drum up publicity, with no personal connections at all. But him calling her a friend meant so much to her. It meant she was not alone in all this terrifying and overwhelming attention.

“I’m glad you think of me as a friend,” she said, still holding back her smile. “You’re my friend too.” He matched her close-lipped smile that had fought its way onto her face at her words.

They sat in silence together for a few moments. Harry returned to his book and Y/N answered emails; but their hands stayed connected across the small table. This silence was very different from the silence on the day they first met. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence that sat on your tongue, begging you to break the quiet; it was peaceful and safe.

Their silence was broken when a young woman wearing a jittery smile and nervous eyes approached their table. Her voice squeaked out a mouse-like “Hi,” towards the both of them, bringing their eyes up to meet hers and instinctively breaking their hands away from each other.

“I’m so so sorry to be a bother,” she began, cheeks red and hot. “But I’m a really big fan of both of you and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t say hello.” She rambled excitedly, mostly looking at Harry, as she held her slightly shaky hands up to her chest.

“Hello,” Harry said with one of his million dollar smiles. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Emma,” she breathed.

“Well, it’s so nice to meet you Emma.” He spoke gently with her, clearly sensing her anxiety, extending his hand for her to shake. “Thank you for all of your support.”

Y/N watched closely as he spoke with her. He spoke to her like she was the only person in the room, giving her his whole undivided attention, and repeatedly thanking her as she flooded him with compliments about how his music and message of kindness meant so much to her. She was so entranced that she nearly didn’t hear her own name being said as the girl turned towards her.

“I love your music as well,” she grinned, clearly more comfortable after her short conversation with Harry. “And your jumpsuit is just incredible.” Her nervous giggle was contagious, Y/N releasing one as well at the compliment as her cheeks heated slightly. She was shocked she even knew any of her music, clearly being the less popular of the pair.  

“Thank you so much, Emma. It means a lot.”

Emma took a few quick selfies with the both of them (that would be everywhere within a few hours), said goodbye and went to leave the two, but not before she paid them one last compliment. “You two are really cute together. I’m rooting for you.”

Both of their cheeks warmed as they looked back at each other. They were quiet for a moment, unsure how to respond, before Harry turned his attention back to the girl with a coy smile. “I am too,” was all he said.

***

The next three weeks passed in a blur of tour rehearsals, fittings, and public meetings with Harry. And then all of a sudden, it was the night of the first show.

Y/N had never been so nervous in her entire life. She would be the first face seen by just over 19,000 people, tasked to warm up the crowd and prepare them for Harry, which was enough pressure. And then there was the chance that they all hated her guts.

She stood behind the curtain, listening to the loud and inpatient crowd as she paced back and forth. She white-knuckeld her guitar, trying to keep her violently shaking hands from being too visible to the crew around her. Her stomach swirled and her palms were clammy, constantly having to rub them on the pants of her icey blue jumpsuit. It fit her like a glove, the wide legged pants and slight shoulder pads, creating a perfect hourglass silhouette; the only thing she was confident in at the moment was how good she looked in it.

Her heart leapt out of her chest and she almost hit the ceiling when a small voice appeared over her shoulder, whispering “You’re going to do great,” in her ear. If her heart wasn’t about to give out before, it was now. She swung around to face him, almost hitting Harry with her guitar, letting out a small breath of relief when her eyes met his own. They always seemed to calm her down a bit.

“I’m kinda freaking out, H,” she anxiously babbled, using the nickname he had told her to call him. “This is the biggest crowd I’ve ever played in front of, and they probably all hate me because they think I’m dating you, and I have to make sure I do a good job so they start listening to my music; and I just…” she trailed off for a second, uncomfortably scratching the back of her neck, “I just can’t let you down.”

His face softened at her words, seeming to take pity on her. “Y/N,” he began, resting his hands on her shoulders and looking so deep into her eyes she felt like he could probably see her soul. “We picked you to open because people love your music and the way that you perform. You just have to go out there and do what you do best: sing your heart out and put on a good show. It’s only 25 minutes. I know you can do it.”

Every word that left his lips was laced with honesty and encouragement; just enough for Y/N to relax her furrowed brow and give her lip a break from her constant chewing. “I can do it,” she softly repeated back to him, still not breaking contact with his striking green eyes.

A stage manager passed by them, running to some other important task, but not before tapping her shoulder. “You’re on in 30 seconds,” he spoke, just as she heard the roar of the crowd begin, signalling the dimming of the lights in the arena.

“Go kick some ass,” he winked, stepping backwards from her and releasing her from his grasp. “I’ll be watching.”

Walking on stage, she wasn’t met with ‘boo’s that had plagued her nightmares, or mean looks from the audience, or rotten tomatoes thrown from the crowd.

They were screaming in excitement, screaming for her.

From the second she started playing, the crowd had her back; the ones that knew the words to her songs sang them along with her, and the ones that didn’t, happily danced to her voice. Before long, the smile she had forced onto her face was genuine, and her set passed by with ease. When her 25 minutes were up, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get off the stage.

She took her final bow as the crowd roared, running off of the stage into the wings, looking for one person in particular. And when she found him, she threw herself into Harry’s open and waiting arms. “I told you that you were going to do great!” He spoke excitedly into her ear and he held her close to his body, his arms wrapped around her waist tight.

She liked the way it felt to be in his arms.

Pulling away from him, she saw the massive grin that he wore for her, noting how adorable his dimples were and how the excited look in his eyes made him look like a little kid. But there was more to his face than excitement, he looked proud.

“They were so nice to me, and they knew my songs, and they were screaming so loud for me, and it just went so well. I can’t believe it!” Her previous anxious chatter had become an exhilarated rambling and she felt on top of the world.

“I can,” he grinned, looking down at his watch quickly. “I have to go get changed.” If she wasn’t so amped up, she might have noticed the disappointment that flashed over his features. “Promise me you’ll watch the show?”

“Pinky swear?” She stuck up her little finger in the air.

“Pinky swear.” He kept their pinkies locked for a moment too long, then released her hand and ran backstage to get dressed.

She kept her promise and watched with excitement as the building shook when Harry took the stage.

She had never heard something quite so loud, sure her ears would be ringing when she snuggled into her bunk on the tour bus that night. Watching him perform was mesmerizing; he knew how to work a stage in every way and make every person in the arena feel like he was singing just for them. He was larger than life while performing and his little dances and mannerisms only got more pronounced the more comfortable he got on stage. He messed with Mitch, who she had only met a few hours ago (he was very nice), and constantly praised Sarah on the drums behind him, while he looked over to Adam and sent him smiles often.

Everyone in the building came for a show, and boy, did he give them one. It was amazing to watch. There was a reason she was a fan.

Bouncing off the stage, full of adrenaline and in a post-show high, he came to find her. It wasn’t hard, as she had never left her spot on the side of the stage, unable to rip her eyes away from the man before her.

“Oh my god, Harry! That was incredible!” she said with delighted amazement.

“I’m glad you liked it.” He was smiling down at her with a big toothy grin, a hand running through his sweaty hair and pushing it off his forehead. “They only get better from here.”

***

He was telling the truth. The shows only got crazier and more exciting as the tour went on, and so did their “relationship.”

About five shows in, Jeff had Harry given her his “H” ring to start wearing. Harry didn’t seem too phased by it all even though she thought it might be too much, saying “it’s like a friendship bracelet.” But it was too big for her fingers, not because she had small hands, but because Harry’s were absolutely massive. She wore it on a chain around her neck from then on and made sure to always be seen playing with it.

Fans took notice and loved it.

A little after that, Jeff sent them off to get matching manicures. Both had a melting rainbow of oranges, pinks, and browns on their fingertips, which looked amazing in the paparazzi photos of them walking around with their fingers intertwined.

The fans loved that too.

But when she “accidentally” posted a photo of Harry on her story, the entire world lost it’s shit. In the photo, he laid sprawled across a bed in only a white hotel robe that was creeping dangerously high up his thigh. He looked sleepy and slightly sweaty, in a post-fuck haze, and clothes that looked very similar to ones she had been seen wearing in public only days before were strewn across the floor. The caption read “I love getting to love you.”

The photo had strategically only been up for about 30 seconds, but by the time it was deleted thousands of people had seen it and screenshots had been taken. They quickly circulated the internet, creating a bit of scandal. But more than anything, people began to love the two of them together even more. Harry looked genuinely happy in the photo, and for most of his fans, that was all that mattered.  

They were creating a fairytale love story for an audience, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying her role. She quite liked being his “girlfriend.”

Harry and Y/N had a way of clicking as they grew closer–quite literally as they were crammed together on a tour bus most of the time. They seemed to be able to finish each other’s sentences and always beat the other to the punchline of a joke. The pair had begun to pick up on the other’s mannerisms and habits; Y/N always teasing that Harry was going to rub his nose off one day if he kept rubbing it while he was thinking and Harry always knowing when she got enough sleep by whether or not she had put on eyeliner that morning. They swapped playlists back and forth in their bunks as they tried to doze off and always grabbed a cup of coffee for whoever had decided to sleep in the next day, now knowing the other’s order by heart.

There was only one thing she didn’t know about him that she longed to discover: what his lips felt like against her own. She could never think too hard about it though, or she may just explode.

He had become a calming presence and was currently helping her keep her cool, even though she knew the pair of interviewers across the table were getting ready to grill the pair for every detail they could get. His hand had settled on top of her knee to quell it’s nervous bouncing, but remained after she had stopped, even though no one could see his touch under the table. She watched as his thumb ran itself back and forth along the leg of her flashy orange and yellow patterned overalls and she had a hard time pulling her gaze away when the radio host across the large table began to speak.

“So Harry,” the bald man began. “Fine Line has been one of the biggest albums of the year and I just have to say I love it. It’s truly incredible.” She listened as the man continued on to sing Harry’s praises, going on to list his grammy nominations, sold out world tour, and other accolades. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched his cheeks tinge pink with the praise. She knew anyone watching would pick up on her adoring look and people fawn over it, but she knew her gaze was nothing but truthful.

“Thank you very much,” he said shyly, shaking his head slightly as he spoke into the microphone suspended in front of his face. “You’re too kind.”

“Stop being humble,” she teased him, playfully tapping him on the arm. “All of his music is fantastic,” she said turning her attention back to the man across from them, “especially Fine Line.”

“And there’s Y/N, being the supportive girlfriend,” the man chuckled.

“I support him in everything he does,” she smiled back, not having to embellish the truth at all. “He is an amazing talent and I think Fine Line shows that.”

It wasn’t hard for her to gush about him. It was actually quite easy. She absolutely adored him, as an artist, a friend, and the focus of her affection. She felt an equal warmth in her cheeks as she watched his get even pinker with her compliments.

“That’s actually something we wanted to ask you about,” the blonde woman sitting next to him piped up, a mischievous glint in her eyes that sent nervous butterflies flying around Y/N’s stomach. “One of the songs on Fine Line, Cherry to be specific, actually features the voice of Harry’s ex, Camille. How does that make you feel as his new girl?”

Y/N did her best not to gag at the woman’s question, gritting her teeth as she plastered on a polite smile. “Well, I think Cherry is a really great song and her voice at the end adds a lot,” she spoke as smoothly as she could, refusing to let on that the question rattled her. Harry’s light squeeze on her knee signalled to her that she had answered the question well.

“It’s also been three years since the song was written,” Harry cut in. “Things are obviously a lot different now.” He connected their eyes for a second while he was leaning back into his seat, sending her a short smile, but she knew him well enough to know it was genuine.

“Oh, definitely,” the woman eagerly agreed. “You’re in a great new relationship with a beautiful girl on your arm.”

“Y/N,” he emphasized her name as the woman had referred to her as a possession of his for a second time, “and I are very happy. Thank you.” To an onlooker, he was calm. To her, he was visibly uncomfortable by her words.

Y/N began to notice a clear pattern as the interview went on. Harry was asked exclusively about his music and the tour, while Y/N only became relevant to their interviewers when they wanted to mention their relationship.

When the man asked Y/N if she felt uncomfortable playing to Harry’s mainly female fanbase every night that are “so obviously jealous of her,” something snapped inside of her, sending all her hours of media training out the window. “I’m not uncomfortable at all,” she said curtly. “His music is great and he puts on an awesome show. I don’t think the audience’s gender really has anything to do with the music.” She watched the man’s face fall before she decided to go on. “And I would like to think that at least a few of them are there for me too. You do know I make music too, right?”

An indignant smirk found its way to her lips as the man stammered out, “yes, of course.”

“Okay. I was just wondering since you have only asked me questions about our relationship since we got here.”

She knew Jeff wouldn’t be happy, but at the moment, she couldn’t care less. They may not have really been dating, but the interviewers didn’t know that. All of their dismissal of her and her career was 100% real.

She had been so worked up that she didn’t even realize Harry’s hand had left her knee until it found its way to rest on her back. She leaned into his touch as he rubbed her back softly while she crossed her arms in front of her.

The interviewers looked at the two of them across the table, jaws both lying on the floor. It was quiet until Harry nonchalantly spoke. “She has a point.”

The last few minutes of the interview passed in an awkward blur that felt suffocating. She felt like she could finally take in a deep breath once they were in the back of a massive SUV being driven away from the studio.

“Jeff is going to have my head,” she mumbled under her breath, nose stuck into her phone as she scrolled Twitter to see what people were saying about her outburst. But before she could read any opinions, Harry's tattooed arm blocked her view as he gently pushed her phone down onto her lap.

“Look at me,” he murmured, beckoning her attention to the other side of the back seat. When she connected her eyes with his, his usual calming aura took over her, softening the stressed crease between her brows. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Harry, I just blew my career up into smoke because I couldn’t deal with a rude interviewer,” she huffed at him.

“No,” he disagreed softly, moving the hand that rested on her arms to interlock his fingers with one of hers. “You stuck up for yourself to people who were ignoring your work and whittling you down to your relationship.”

“But it was rude.”

“It was necessary.”

The car ride to the venue for that night’s concert was quiet, but Harry never let go of her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting touch. She wasn’t sure if she ever wanted him to let go.

***

It was the early hours of the morning by the time the pair returned to their tour bus and went to crawl into their bunks.

Her performance had gone well and Harry was mesmerizing (as always). He was truly hypnotizing to watch while he performed and she hadn’t missed watching him yet, even as they drew close to the end of the tour. It was the best part of her day and she would miss it dearly after the last show.

She was almost asleep, curtain drawn and cuddled under a pile of blankets, when her cell began to ring. Her heart sank, knowing only one person who would know when she had a sliver of free time (even though it’s debatable if sleeping counts as free time). She was going to get scolded like she was a little kid in the principal's office and she knew it.

“Hi Jeff,” she answered with a sigh as she pulled the curtain back and slid from the bunk, the cold air of the tour bus nipping at her legs.

Her gaze was met by a snuggled up Harry wearing a concerned face across from her in his own bed. He never closed the curtain, not even when she asked politely to muffle his snores, always saying something about how it made him claustrophobic. He sent her a tired smile and mouthed “good luck,” extending a hand for a fist bump as she passed. Knocking their knuckles together put a brief smile on her face before she buckled in for the chewing out she was about to get.

Harry watched her intently as she paced up and down the front of the tour bus as she spoke to Jeff, too far away for him to listen in. Her face gradually turned from anxious, to surprised, to something that would have probably been happiness if she wasn’t so tired.

“Alright, thank you for everything.” She spoke softly when she finally returned to be within earshot for him. “Goodnight Jeff.”

“So?” he murmured groggily at her, brows raised in question at her.

“People loved it,” she said shocked, like she didn’t fully believe it herself. “They think I’m some kind of badass for shutting down a sexist. Which is, like, a lot,” she spoke with a disbelieving chuckle, unable to find the right words in her groggy state. “I don’t really know what to make of it.”

Harry seemed to spring up from his spot in his bed, smacking his head on the top of the bunk in the process, prompting them both to dissolve into a puddle of giggles.

“Don’t get too excited for me,” she laughed. “I cannot be the reason that you hurt yourself and have to cancel a show.”

“I was just too excited to say ‘I told you so,’” he smirked, now rubbing the side of his head through his curls.

“Cocky bastard,” she sarcastically murmured under her breath while dramatically rolling her eyes.

She watched with confusion as Harry left his bed, and after a short and frantic search for his pajama pants so he wouldn’t “offend her eyes,” he moved towards the front of the bus. Her eyes trailed him as he bent down to the small mini fridge and pulled out two beers.

“We have to celebrate.”

It was 2 AM and she had been so ready for bed after a long day. But she knew she could never say no to him. She thanked god that they had a day off tomorrow.

After retrieving her massive and lovingly worn Grateful Dead sweatshirt to protect her from the chilly air, she nearly ran to the front of the bus. His painted pink fingers moved with skill as he popped the bottle caps off with one of his rings, handing it to her and gently nudging his bottle against hers.

“Cheers,” he murmured softly as he looked down at her with a kindhearted smile.

“Cheers,” she seemed to whisper back to him, a flutter in her stomach reminding her how badly she wanted to reach out and connect her lips to his. Instead she slid into the small booth across from him, taking a long sip from the bottle as she watched him do the same.

“I want you to know that I was really proud of you today,” he said as he put his beer down on the table. “Rude interviewers are never easy and you handled it like a champ.”

“Thank you, H,” she nodded, suddenly bashful and unable to make eye contact with him. Her cheeks burned hot as she put all her focus into tracing the rim of the bottle with her finger tip.

“Hey,” he called for her attention and her eyes snapped up to meet his. “I mean it, Y/N.”

“I know you do,” she gently nodded at him. “I’m just really happy they didn’t ask about my ex,” she chuckled as she took another sip. “That would have gone very poorly.”

“Oh yeah, I was a little annoyed they brought up my ex but not yours,” he teased. “Not fair if you ask me.”

“Well, then I’m glad no one asked you.”

“Can I ask you?”

“What?”

“About your ex.”

She should have been prepared to talk about it with Harry at some point. Half of this plan had been devised to get back at James anyway. She should be able to talk about it by now, especially with someone she had grown so close to.

“I guess so,” she shrugged, trying to seem casual like the mere mention of him didn’t still hurt her heart a little bit. “What do you want to know?”

“As much as you’re willing to tell me.”

He looked soft like this, eyes slightly sleepy with a tenderness in them as he looked back at her. His hair was unruly and puffy and he was wrapped in the powder blue blanket that lived on the tour bus’ couch. She would have told him anything that he ever wanted to hear if he kept looking like this.

With a deep breath, she began to recount everything that went down.

“I met James while I was still working as a waitress. I recognized him from his movies and started a conversation, and then–to my surprise–he asked me out on a date. I had been in LA for three weeks and this insanely famous actor is asking me to go out with him, so I obviously said yes.” She paused to take a swig of her beer, before mumbling under her breath, “I should have said ‘fuck no’ to that.”

A smile ghosted over her lips as she listened to Harry’s laugh across the table. She swore that laugh could cure cancer.

“But I didn’t,” she continued. “He introduced me to the right people and helped me make the right connections in the industry, which I guess made me feel indebted to him. Does that make sense?”

“Of course,” Harry nodded, eyebrows furrowed and listening intently.

“I should have broken up with him after I signed with Jeff and the label, however awful that sounds. But he just always knew the right things to say to make me feel special and like I was the most important person in the world. Even after I found out he was talking to other girls, he was somehow able to talk himself out of it.” She shook her head as she recalled it. “You wanna hear something fucked up?”

“Always,” he said with a gentle smirk.

“He proposed to me using lines from a romcom he was working on.”

Harry nearly spit out his drink. “Holy shit, you’re kidding!”

“I wish. I didn’t find out until I went with him to the premier a few months later and the proposal scene sounded surprisingly familiar.”

“What a dirtbag.”

“I know, right?” she laughed. “Then a few weeks after that, he got papped with his tongue down another girl’s throat. That finally knocked some sense into me and I ran for the hills.”

“Fuck,” he sighed as he finished his beer. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she breathed. “I don’t even feel hurt by him anymore, ya know? I just feel angry at myself for trusting him.”

“I understand but it’s not your fault he was a piece of shit,” he said as he rose from his seat and traveled to the mini fridge once again. “Another?” he asked, holding the bottle up about his head.

“Fuck it,” she shrugged. “Sure.”

She watched him skillfully pop off the tops again using just his rings, making a mental note to make him teach her how he did that, before he flopped back down in his seat.  

“At the risk of sounding like a Facebook mom, ‘you grow through what you go through,’” she chuckled, taking another long sip as she finished her first. He matched her high pitched giggle across the table and she nearly drooled beer down her front from smiling so wide.

“Amen, sister,” he agreed, raising his beer in the air.

“Oh, that was awful.” She shook her head as she descended into giggles. “Please never say that again.”

“Noted.”

“Anyway,” she began again after another sip of her drink, “I was well prepared to get my heartbroken by untrustworthy men after you, Styles.”

“I’m offended–tell me more,” he spoke quickly, his signature narcissistic smirk settling onto his features.

“I need you to know that Zayn leaving was my first real heartbreak.”

“Were the rest of us chopped liver?”

“You weren’t Zayn, I can tell you that.”

“Ouch!” He let out a loud belly laugh.

“Put yourself in my shoes for a minute, H. So first, the hottest-”

“Rude-”

“-I’m speaking. So the hottest one leaves, and then the rest of you are all like ‘we’ll be back in 18 months,’” she mocked him in a high pitched impersonation with a wave, “and then 6 months later you all mysteriously have solo careers.”

“I do not see you complaining about my solo career now, ya fame leetch.” He spoke with such humor and charisma, she couldn’t have even wished to be offended by his joke.

“Absolutely not, sir,” she said sternly, giving him a dramatic salute. “Deepest apologies from the fame leetch.” The two collapsed into giggles, laughing until their sides began to ache.

“Wait, I have a question for mega superstar Mr. Harry Styles of former One Direction fame,” she announced.

“I believe that’s me,” he bowed his head and raised his hand into the hair. “Shoot.”

She barely could get the question out, laughing too hard at her own joke. “Is Taylor Swift a good kisser?”

“Oh god,” he exasperatedly threw his hands in the air, chuckling while rolling his eyes dramatically before grinning wide as he thought over his answer. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he finally smirked.

“Wait, I have another!”

“Watch it, smart ass.”

“You think I’m smart?” she teased as she feigned flattery. “Have you ever heard of a song called ‘English Love Affair?’” He narrowed his eyes at her, a knowing smirk crossing his lips as he shook his head at her. “Also, when do I get to meet Gemma?”

“I’ll consider it when you stop bringing up her sex life, perv.”

“We’ve been dating for a few months now,” she teased as she continued to prod, emboldened by the liquid courage running through her veins as she was now half way through her next beer. “I think I should be allowed to meet the family soon. They seem delightful.”

“They would love how you have decided to rip into me like this,” he said with a cheeky smile, dimples on full display.

“Rockstars have to get knocked down a peg every once in a while.” She sarcastically shrugged. “Consider it a favor.”

She couldn’t help but think about how right this felt. Their back and forth flowed so smoothly, the banter falling from their lips without effort. Their laughter joined together in a delightful melody and she imagined they could go on this way all night.

Spending any amount of time with him made her so fucking happy; and time spent teasing each other over beers caused her to nearly explode with joy. How much she was enjoying herself was too hard to put into words.

He was safe and he was kind and he made her laugh no matter how bad his jokes were.

He was her best friend.

And for the first time, she was willing to admit that she was in love with him.

“Harry,” she hummed softly as their laughter died down to a comfortable silence. “Thank you for everything. You’ve changed my life forever and I can never repay you.”

“Just remember me when you get famous.”

“Oh shut up, I’m being serious,” she playfully scolded before letting her tone drop back into honesty. “You’re a very good person and I’m eternally grateful for you letting me be your opening act and then agreeing to this whole relationship charade.”

“I didn’t ‘let’ you be anything, Y/N. I picked you myself.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I listened to your album when it came out and fell in love with it,” he shrugged, his casual tone contradicting the surprised raise of her pulse. “When I found out Jeff also managed you, I knew I had to have you on the tour.”

Y/N was honestly stunned. She had always assumed that the tour was Jeff’s doing, a careful arrangement pairing Full Stop’s new up-and-comer with their most famous and established talent. Being offered the tour had been the biggest opportunity and honor she had ever been presented with; but she had never considered Harry himself being behind it.

“Oh,” was all she could manage to get out.

It was now his turn to be confused. “What’s so surprising about that?” he asked, reading the shock on her face like she was an open book.

“I just,” she stammered, trying to find the words in her slightly hazy state. “I never would have thought you knew who I was or listened to my music.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” she trailed off. “You’re you, and I’m just... me, I guess.”

He didn’t respond right away, just looking at her intently and slightly amused, sea glass eyes boring into her with a pink lip held between his teeth.

He scanned her frame, from the way her hair sat messily on top of her head and the way the massive sweatshirt swallowed her body enough to where she had pulled her knees up to her chest underneath it. Her shoulders were slumped slightly, making her appear smaller as she held her legs close to her torso and her eyebrows were knitted together in worry, slightly nervous under his intense gaze.

She downed the rest of her beer in an attempt to forget his intense attention. It didn’t work.

“You really don’t know how incredible you are, do you?” he finally asked, the corner of his lips twitching into a small smile.

She felt her whole body burn with his compliment, wanting to shrink into herself and disappear completely from his view. She finally shook her head slightly in an attempt to deflect his words, breathing his name under her breath as if to scold him for being too kind.

“You are,” he insisted, ignoring her objection. “You’re so talented and your music deserves all the attention that it gets. I am honored that I get to play a part in helping expose the world to you and what you have to offer.”

“Thank you.” Her words came out as a whisper.

“You’re welcome, love.”

His pet name made her stomach turn in a nervous excitement and a wide grin involuntarily came to her lips.

“I like it when I make you smile like that.” His words only made her beam further. “You look very pretty when you smile.”

“Stop it,” she said softly, cheeks burning hot and having a hard time making eye contact with him.

“Stop what?” He feigned innocence as he lightly teased her, smirk still prominent on his features.

“Are you flirting with me, Styles?”

“Just practicing.”

His words rang through her mind long after they had left the table and crawled back into their bunks for the night. She wished she could see inside his head to understand whatever thoughts were running around his brain.

But for now she could just peak at him through the gap she had purposely left in her curtain, wondering if she ever popped into his dreams as he slept.

He was always in hers.

***

There was a sadness mixed in with her usually thrilled mood as she took the stage for the last show of the tour. While there was an element of relief as she looked forward to some well needed rest, the adrenaline and joy of being in front of a crowd was something that she would miss dearly. She had grown into a real performer over the last two months as they zig-zagged across the US and this period of time would have a special place in her heart long after it had ended.

But there was another reason why she was so sad to see this chapter come to an end. As far as she knew, a staged breakup was not far away and the thought of being without Harry was heartbreaking. He had become her person and soon their feux falling out would be on the front page of every magazine. She wanted nothing more in the world than for their relationship to be real, but it would be forced to end before it had even truely started.

She got choked up as she sang her final song that night, letting a few tears escape as she took in the thousands of people singing her lyrics back to her, flashlights swaying in the air to the beat of the music. Taking a move from Harry’s own playbook, she took her mic and directed it to the crowd to sing as she cried. The vibrations of the drums and bass behind her nestled it’s way into her bones and the chorus of singing voices in the crowd surrounded her in a bittersweet melody.

The past two months she had been on top of the world, and as soon as this song finished, it was the beginning of the end.

She took her final bow, watching as the small tears fell forward onto the dusty stage below her. She waved and blew kisses to the crowd, then nearly ran off the stage looking for the only person she wanted to see.

Harry was right where he always was, just out of view behind the curtain, holding his arms out for her to fall into.

“Awe, babe,” he hummed sympathetically when she settled her head onto his chest, surely ruining his crisp white t-shirt with her now wet makeup. “It’s okay. Final shows are always tough.” He rubbed her back gently, in a soothing rhythm.

He smelled so good. He smelled like home.

She tilted her head up to connect her glassy eyes with his. “I just don’t want this all to end.” She knew she wasn’t just talking about the tour.

“Neither do I,” he said as his lips curved into a devilish smirk that sent her heart into palpitations. “That’s why I have one last surprise for you.”

“Oh, Harry,” she sighed while wiping the remaining tears off her cheeks. “What have you done?”

“You said you liked surprises!” he defended.

“Not surprises in front of 20,000 people!”

“I promise you’re going to love this one, okay?” His voice was softer now, encouraging and supportive. “You’re going to come out and sing an extra song with me during my set,” he revealed.

“Sing what?”

“That’s the surprise.”

“Do I even know the words?”

“You definitely know the words,” he chuckled.

“I just finished sobbing. I can’t go out there like this.”

“You can fix your makeup. I believe in you.”

“What am I going to wear?” she asked, grasping at straws at this point, doing anything she could to get out of this.

“I had Lambert put something together for you.”

“Of course you did.”

She peppered him with a few more questions, but he had a smooth and charming answer to every single one. He had thought every detail out, and as always, she couldn’t say no to him.

“Fine,” she finally exasperatedly agreed, immediately met with his excited and dimpled smile that she had fallen head over heels for.

“Perfect,” he breathed. “I have to go get ready and so do you. I already put everything you need in your dressing room, okay?” She nodded, still biting her lip anxiously. He held her by her shoulders, lowering his head to match their eye level as he leaned in close, before he spoke. “You’re going to have fun. I promise.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

Seconds after they locked their little fingers together, he pressed a quick and protective kiss to her forehead that set her whole body ablaze before running off in the direction of his dressing room. She remained stunned and frozen in her spot for a few moments trying to process what it felt like to have his lips on her for the first time since that very first day they had met.

There was no audience to perform it for or an act to keep up behind the curtain. He kissed her because he wanted to.

She was finally snapped out of her daze when a stagehand bumped into her by accident, prompting her to begin the short walk back to her dressing room. But the ghost of his lips remained on her forehead, an incessant tingle placed there by his touch.

The dress she found waiting for her was one of the most beautiful gowns she had ever set her eyes on. Made of a light purple chiffon, the wrap dress’ long sleeves and floor length skirt flowed freely. A belt cinched the wispy fabric close to her waist and a deep-v exposed her neck and chest. But the most dazzling part of the dress were the red sequined hearts that dotted the fabric and reflected the light of the dressing room like a million little mirrors.

Slipping into it, the light fabric was soft against her skin, opaque enough but still slightly sheer to let light through and show off her legs and the bright red shiny pumps Lambert had left for her. She felt the most beautiful she had ever felt in this dress, boosting her confidence and quelling her nerves about whatever the hell Harry was planning.

“One minute to curtain,” was announced in an ominous voice over the arena’s backstage speakers as she finished fixing her makeup and she all but ran to make it back to the stage in time. She only had one more chance to watch him perform and she refused to miss a second of it.

Harry dazzled as the lights focused in on him, his deep blue and fully sequined suit reflecting the light and turning him into a human disco ball. He stood close to the edge of the stage as the beginning notes of the first song began being played by the band, but he made no move towards his mic stand to sing. His eyes were closed and his arms were outstretched to the audience, taking in every scream, every tear, and the thunderous shake of the building; but also giving himself to them.

Then the show began. As usual, he was electric, but tonight was like he had turned himself up to eleven. Every note he sang was full of his heart and every dance move was done with his entire body, even his bad jokes seemed funnier tonight.

She was so mesmerized she almost forgot about his ‘surprise.’ Almost.

“Since tonight is unfortunately our last show,” he pouted. “I thought I would do something special,” he spoke to the crowd as they roared, but quickly connected his eyes with her’s in the wings. By the smirk plastered on his face, she knew she was in for it.

“I recently found out that someone very close to me was a very big fan of…” he trailed off as he dramatically pretended to search for the right words, “my previous work.” He finished with a smirk and his words prompted the loudest reaction since he had been on stage.

“Now, I told her that she would be coming on stage to join me tonight, but I didn’t exactly tell her what we would be singing and I haven’t performed this song in a very long time, so cut us some slack if we mess up. This is very unrehearsed.” He kept sneaking glances back to her, as her eyes grew wider at the stunt he was currently pulling. “But I know for a fact that she knows all the words. I listen to her sing them in the shower quite often.” He wore a cheeky dimpled grin as he looked back at her once again.

The building was shaking due to the suspense he was creating, and looking down at her hands, she realized she was to. She gripped hard onto the mic a stagehand had just shoved at her, pleading with her hands to stop their tremors.

“Now, I would love it if you could all give another warm welcome to one of my favorite people on the planet, Y/N Y/L/N!” He turned his body to her for a final time, extending his hand out for her to take. Her legs felt like jello as she walked out into the bright lights towards him, interlocking her fingers with his as a way to keep her on her feet.

The audience’s screams were deafening at seeing the two of them together and she thanked god she had her earpieces in to protect her ear drums or they would have surely burst. She could only imagine the articles that would be written about this and the thousands of tweets that were probably already being sent.

“I’m gonna kick your ass,” she mouthed at him threateningly, but she couldn’t even get through the sentence before his dazzling smile began to quell her anxiety.

“The look on your face is 100% worth getting my ass kicked,” he answered smoothly before turning his attention back to the audience. “Everyone, sing along if you know the words,” he commanded their attention. “This is Ready to Run.”

Her jaw dropped and the crowd roared as the band behind her began to play the first few chords of the song she loved and knew so well. She had admitted it a few days ago that it was one of her favorites of his ‘previous work,’ but apparently he already knew that from the few showers she had taken on the tour bus.

“There’s a lightning in your eyes I can’t deny,” he began by himself, her brain still too shocked to jump in yet. He sang the first few lines to her with a giant grin plastered on his face, hand still holding tight to hers. His eyes had a playful glint in them that seemed to say ‘just have fun.’

“There’s a devil in your smile, it’s chasing me,” she finally began to sing, Harry fading his voice out so she could take the next few lines by herself as he admired her.

He did have a devilish smile, but it was one she loved with her entire heart. As she began to sing, she felt her muscles begin to relax into the song she had sung to herself so many times before, letting her body begin to bounce to the growing rhythm as her dress flowed around her.

The stage vibrated as Sarah beat her drums to introduce the chorus. “This time I’m ready to run, escape from the city and follow the sun,” the pair sang together, eyes still locked as their voices combined into the most perfect tune. “Cause I wanna be yours, don’t you wanna be mine?” they continued the lyrics. She felt herself meaning the words leaving her mouth more and more as they went on. She did want to be his, she couldn’t deny that. “I don’t wanna get lost in the dark of the night.”

Her apprehensiveness eased further as the music picked up and the hook went on, finally allowing herself to have a bit of fun. “Wherever you are is the place I belong,” they insisted towards each other, leaning in close before Harry grabbed her hand to dramatically spin her, the beautiful shining fabric of her dress splaying out around her. The next line was mumbled through giggles by both of them, but their laughter only added to the perfect moment they were having.

They danced across the stage together like there weren’t 20,ooo pairs of eyes watching them, both singing their hearts out to each other. It began to feel like they weren’t even there. It was just Y/N and Harry, serenading each other to one of her favorite songs.

“There’s a future in my eyes I can’t foresee,” she sang to him to start the second verse.

“Unless, of course, I stay on course and keep you next to me.” Harry grabbed her by her waist and pulled her into his side as he sang the words, prompting more giggles from her. She loved the way he smiled so wide as he sang, never breaking his eye contact with her and emitting pure joy. His eyes looked honest as he sang, like he meant every word just as much as she did.

The pair made their way through the rest of the verse and second chorus, flawlessly moving around the stage like they owned it. Y/N selfishly decided to let him have the bridge all to himself, needing to hear the way his beautiful voice hit the high notes. “This time I’m ready to run,” he sang passionately, executing the downward moving riff perfectly. “I’d give everything that I got for your love,” he pointed across the stage towards her, beckoning her back close to him. She quickly skipped to him at his request.

Like she had blinked, the song was already nearing its end.

“Cause I wanna be free and I wanna be young, I’ll never look back now I’m ready to run,” they belted the last lines out to each other. The band fell quiet on their last chord and the crowd exploded, but their noise fell on deaf ears as the pair stood so close their heaving chests were almost pressed up against each other. His eyes stared down into hers and she watched as his eyes flickered quickly down to her lips.

The world ceased to exist when he pressed his mouth to hers, even if it only lasted a second. It was nothing more than a peck, but it was everything to her. Her body igniting with heat and eyes full of shock, she looked back at him in simultaneous confusion and adoration, before realizing they had been staring at each other for too long. She needed to get off the stage so he could continue with his show. She walked back slowly towards the wings, letting the hand he had still been holding fall to her side. She waved and smiled to the crowd the best she could in her clouded mind.

“Thank you everyone!” she shouted into her mic as she moved out of their view. She shoved her mic into the first set of hands that would take it as she wobbled her way over to a table with water bottles. She nearly choked as she tried to suck one down, hoping it would ease the dizzy feeling he had created with his lips. Her lips burned just as her forehead had earlier in the night.

He had kissed her. He had sang a love song with her and then he had kissed her. She couldn’t decipher if that kiss was a confirmation that he shared the same feelings for her or if it was just another act for the cameras. But his mouth felt so right against hers. They fit together like a pair of puzzle pieces. She tried to suppress the optimistic hope that rose in her chest, but it began to swallow her whole.

When she heard his next song begin, she made her way back to the spot that had become hers at the side of the stage. She watched him perform the rest of the show in a loving haze, doe eyed and hypnotized, lips still buzzing from his contact.

He gave it his all. By the last song he was out of breath, drenched in sweat, and looked like he was about to pass out at any second. The crowd applauded for minutes after he left the stage and they were still cheering when she finally caught sight of him again. His curls were stuck to his forehead and his skin was shiny and flushed. He was panting, still trying to recover from his workout of a finale show; but he was beaming. His smile seemed to turn him into a beacon, emitting a light and positive energy that drew everyone backstage towards him.

She was so transfixed on Harry as he thanked the crew and accepted congratulations from all around that she just about jumped out of her skin when Jeff slinked up behind her and whispered ‘boo’ in her ear.

“What the fuck, Jeff,” she chuckled as she caught her breath, resting her hand on her chest and feeling her racing heartbeat.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on being half of the best fake couple out there,” he teased. “That kiss was perfect. People are losing their minds over it.”

“Oh,” she said softly, feeling every emotion she was distracted from while watching Harry rush back into her. Her heart sank as she remembered all the questions that continued to haunt her since she got off stage. “Thanks,” she murmured, plastering a smile onto her face. “I’m glad we could make you proud.”

“If you two could convince me, you can convince anyone.” Jeff walked off moments later, leaving her to sit in her confused thoughts as he disappeared into the hoards of bodies waiting for their minute with Harry.

She knew that she didn’t ‘convince’ Jeff of anything on her part. Everything she did with Harry was authentic and truthful. Including the thrilled grin that appeared on her face when she finally made eye contact with the exhausted man across the room. She gave him a shy wave that he sheepishly returned, biting back a shy smile. He pointed in the direction of his dressing room and mouthed “meet me in 15.”

She could never say no to him.

Fifteen minutes later, she was knocking on the large wooden door that had a single piece of paper that read STYLES haphazardly taped onto it. When it finally flew open, she was met by a soaking wet Harry with a towel hanging dangerously low on his hips. Her eyes trailed down his body without permission, taking in the toned torso that was decorated with his beautiful tattoos. Her eyes hovered over the two ferns that sat on his pelvis, too fascinated with the dark ink to pull her eyes away just yet.

She had obviously seen him in various states of undress before. They lived together on a tour bus without much space to exist with privacy, but this was different. He wasn’t rushing to get dressed or quickly changing his outfit. And he wasn’t moving away from her gaze at all.

If she hadn’t been so entranced by him, she would have noticed he was looking her up and down in the exact same manner.

She had changed since she had seen him last. The skin-tight black velvet romper she had brought along for the afterparty now fit her snuggly and held her every curve. The dark fabric was tight and appeared almost painted on, a rainbow racing stripe making its way down either side of her chest. The short shorts of the outfit exposed nearly all of her legs and the deep neckline put much of her chest on display as well. It’s long sleeves were her favorite part, as a strip of fringe dangled from below her arms any time she moved.

“You look great,” Harry finally choked out, his voice pulling their eyes back up to the other’s face.

“Oh, thanks,” she said, slightly awkwardly. “You too.”

“Well, I’m hopefully not going to the after party dressed like this,” he chuckled before stepping aside and ushering her into the room.

His dressing room was much larger than hers and she settled herself on the brown leather couch in the corner as she waited for him to get ready, sneaking glances up from her phone often. She chuckled as she watched him spend far too long fussing with his curls in the mirror, but was quickly distracted by the way his back and arms flexed when he reached up to muse his hair. Once he was satisfied with the way it fell, he disappeared into the bathroom at the back of the room. When he emerged, he was finally dressed, allowing her to take a deep breath and to focus on something other than his bare skin for the first time since he had opened the door.

The black satin suit was simple for him, but the tight white tank top that sat underneath hugged every muscle in his torso. She knew as soon as he got in the hot club, he would lose the jacket, and she would be devastatingly distracted once again.

The narcissist took one final look at himself in the mirror before turning to her and extending a hand. “Ready, darling?”

“You just spent 15 minutes exclusively on your hair and you’re asking me if I’m ready?” she teased as she took his hand, weaving her fingers between his as they exited the room together.

He leaned down close to her ear as they walked down the now mostly empty hallway, lips brushing over the hollow of her ear as he spoke. “I could have done it faster, but you were so obviously enjoying the show.”

“Relax yourself, Magic Mike,” she muttered indignantly, but hung her head in a way she hoped he couldn’t see how flustered he made her. Was she really that obvious?

They walked hand in hand out to the parking garage, now caught in a back and forth about whether or not Harry could be a male stripper. He said yes. She said no, although she did admit at one point that he worked his mic stand like a pole.

“Hey Jeff,” he called when they finally reached the parking garage where Jeff and Glenne had been waiting for them to head to the club. “Do you think I could be a stripper?”

“I think people would pay a lot to see it, but they may be disappointed in your dancing skills.”

“Come on,” he playfully whined. “I have some moves.”

“You have one move,” Y/N cut in with a chuckle, “and it’s the wiggle.” She brought her hands up near her chest, tilted her head back while dramatically biting her lip, and swayed her arms by her sides, earning a chorus of laughter from the people around her.

She hadn’t even realized she had done the move without releasing Harry’s hand first, dragging his arm into her dance as well, until their manager commented on it. “You know, you two don’t have to be holding hands all the time and keeping the show up back here,” he said with a slightly suspicious quirk in his eyebrows.

Her smile had been in the process of fading, like they had been caught doing something wrong, before Harry answered smoothly. “We know. Just practicing.”

There were those words again. Just practicing, she thought over to herself. But was he practicing anymore? How many flirty comments, heartfelt compliments, and warm touches did it take to cross the line of practicing to the real thing?

She wasn’t sure about Harry, but she knew that she wasn’t just practicing anymore.

She knew that the way they sat nearly on top of each other in the large SUV on the way to the club felt more than friendly. And the way he hadn’t stopped touching her in some way since they left his dressing room insinuated far more than something with business-like intentions. And the way he looked at her everytime he caught her eye the entire way to the club, always with a bright smile and adoring gaze that she always returned, pulled at her heartstrings far more than they should have if this was all an act.

A sloppy and cheeky grin settled almost permanently on his features after he had a few drinks in him, his arms moving in a lazy and fluid manner as she took in his many tattoos that he had exposed when he ditched his jacket (just like she knew he would). His butterfly was visible through the tight ribbed fabric of the white tank top and the little birds that peaked out from underneath seemed to be inviting her even closer to him in her now inebriated state.

All she wanted to do was to connect her lips with his as she watched him make conversation with someone from his management, entranced by the way his perfect mouth moved as he spoke. She once again craved the shocks of electricity that were created between them at the contact and could not stop thinking about it no matter how hard she tried. The protective hand that had settled onto her hip and continued to hold her close to his body just wasn’t enough anymore.

The pair had been drinking far too much; martinis turning into vodka sodas that had turned into straight tequila shots. She believed it was tequila shot four that did her in. The last thing she remembered was licking the line of salt off the back of her hand, downing the shot, and being entranced by Harry’s eyes as she bit down on the slice of lime he held carefully with his jeweled fingers.  

***

The next morning, Y/N woke up in a hotel room that she didn’t recognize with a pounding headache and a swirling gut. It felt like she had been hit with a truck and she could barely pick her head up off the pillow.

She had so many questions about what had happened the night before. Where was she? Who let her drink that much? Whose clothes was she wearing? But most of all, what the hell happened after that fourth shot?

But she realized the worst was yet to come when she heard soft snoring coming from beside her. She knew that snoring well. It was the snoring that kept her up half the night for the last two months and the one that had almost driven her to suffocating her bus-mate in his sleep; the snoring that matched the crumbled black suit she just noticed in a ball on the floor.

It took every ounce of strength in her body to pull herself from the pillow and turn around in the bed to have her suspicions confirmed.

There he was.

His dark long eyelashes were fluttered down across the tops of his cheeks and his hair was going in every direction, skin clammy like his body was trying to rid itself of all the poison he had ingested the night before. The crumpled comforter was pushed down his stomach, his bare skin holding a sheen that helped define every dip or curve of his muscles and the tiniest bit of the band of his boxers peaked out to assure her that he at least wasn’t fully naked next to her.

Why were they in bed together? And why did he look so good? Oh my god, she thought as a possibility dawned on her. Did we sleep together?

“Harry,” she murmured softer than she intended, voice scratchy and mouth dry. The soreness at the back of her throat clued her into the copious amounts of screaming she must have done last night. He didn’t stir at her gentle coaxing, the light streaming through the windows making him look angelic as it covered him in a blanket of soft light while he continued to sleep.

It was a hard nudge to his chest that finally made him open his eyes, immediately releasing a groan she was sure she made when she regained consciousness too. He looked at her puzzled, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows. He took an equally confused look around the hotel room before looking back at her. She watched as the gears slowly turned in his head until his eyes opened wide and he spring up into a sitting position to mirror hers.

“We didn’t,” he whispered hopefully. “Oh my god, did we?” he asked, a look of horror crossing his face that matched her own.

“I have no idea,” she anxiously replied. “I was hoping you would know!”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“The last thing I remember was doing tequila shots with you.”

“I remember those.” He rubbed his eyes hard like it would somehow jog his memory. His eyebrows knit together, buried in thought as he searched his brain for a timeline. “I can follow the night up until we did karaoke.”

“We did karaoke?” she repeated incredulously and was met with a somber nod. “Do I even want to know what we sang?”

He shook his head slowly, shame clear on his face, before he finally mumbled. “We did ‘It’s Raining Men.’”

“Oh my god, no,” she whined, holding her head in her hands and rubbing her temples. There were surely videos of them sloppily singing on top of a bar circulating online and she wasn’t sure how Jeff would be able to spin that one in a positive light.

“Where’s your phone?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eye as he reached for his own. “Maybe there’s something on there that can clue us in.” It took her a moment but she finally spotted it on the ground in the corner of the room. She said a silent prayer that it wasn’t dead or broken.

Forcing her heavy limbs out from under the covers she made her way towards the device, but not before she heard a confused sound coming from Harry. “How did you get my clothes?”

Looking down at herself and taking in the red lettering that read But Daddy I Love Him across her chest, it clicked that the t-shirt and baggy basketball shorts were his. But how they hell did she get into them?

“I think we’ve established at this point that I don’t know anything that happened after about midnight, Harry.” Her words came out laced with slight frustration. She hoped he knew she wasn’t annoyed with him, just their situation.

“Just a question, princess.”

She ignored his quip and began to search through her texts, call history, and photos, hoping to find anything at all that could help trace their steps through the night. She found nothing but a few selfies of them still at the club. One was the pair casually smiling, the next was one of him kissing her on the cheek that made her skin warm, but the final one made her snort out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“I have a picture on my phone of you with two martini olives shoved up your nose,” she spoke through hysterical laughter. “Definitely birthday post material if you ask me.”

“Let me see,” he demanded with an adorable scowl.

She passed her phone over to him, still letting a few chuckles fall past her lips. “I’m gonna change your name in my phone to ‘Olive Nose Styles.”

“You're cruel.”

“You’re the one that put olives up his nose and then posed for a picture!”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, turning attention back to his own screen to continue his investigation. “There’s nothing of use on my phone either.”

The two flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling in the frustrated confusion. There was so much of their night that had gone up into smoke, completely unaccounted for with no clues as to what they did. Each traced their steps over and over again in their heads as they hoped desperately for a single detail that would lead them down a path to bigger memories, but it never came.

“Are we going to have to call Jeff and ask him what happened?” she finally murmured.

“I think so.”

“He’s going to put us both in client timeout, isn’t he?”

“We’re probably already there,” he groaned as he picked up his phone and hit Jefe Jeff-e in his contact list, putting the call on speaker and resting it on his still bare chest. The man on the other end picked up almost immediately.

“Morning Sleeping Beauty, I was wondering when I was going to hear from you.”

“Hi Jeff,” he groggily started then stopped, searching for the words that would make this all less uncomfortable. “Y/N and I have some questions about last night.”

Jeff let out a strained chuckle. “Yeah, that doesn’t really surprise me after last night’s bar bill.”

“Um,” Harry hummed, stammering but unable to form any real words.

“You sing about sex for a living,” she hissed at the man next to her before yanking the phone off his chest. “Jeff,” she started, taking over the conversation for them both. “Do you know if we slept together?”

“Probably not. You both were pretty unconscious when I put you in the hotel room.” His words prompted a massive sigh from both of them, looking to each other to share a relieved smile.

“Oh thank god,” they mumbled in unison.

“Jinx,” he smirked under his breath, prompting a ‘shut up’ from her.

“How did I get into Harry’s clothes?”

“I stopped by the tour bus when I realized you two probably shouldn’t be trusted not to roll out of your top bunks. I got you some clothes to sleep in before we took you guys to the hotel.”

“But why Harry’s?”

It was Jeff’s term to get squirmy. “I felt weird going through your things.”

“But you were perfectly fine with going through mine?” Harry asked, only half joking.

“Absolutely,” he deadpanned. They were all quiet for a moment before Jeff began again. “You two really don’t remember anything else that happened?”

“Everything after about two is unaccounted for,” she confessed.

“Oh,” Jeff chuckled. “So, you don’t remember when you stuck your tongues down each other’s throats on the ride home?”

Fuck.

Her eyes raced up to Harry’s from the phone she had been staring at like it held all the secrets of the night before. His easily readable features displayed all his emotions that surely matched hers. His pupils had grown in surprise, taking over nearly all the green in his wide eyes, and an embarrassed blush tinted his cheeks in a red hot flush that had reached the tips of his ears. His eyes flashed to the blank wall in front of them, running a stressed hand through his curls, like if he wasn’t looking at her, he would be able to focus better on the newly revealed information.

She couldn’t say that she didn’t relate. Her mind often went blank when she looked at him too. But right now, it was racing, occupied by anxious thoughts and intense emotions she couldn’t quite place, but felt with her entire being.

Her inevitable downward spiral was interrupted when Harry stiffly cleared his throat. “Uh,” he started, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. “We’ll see you later.”

“Sounds good, love birds,” Jeff replied, a clear snark apparent in his voice. Neither of the pair dignified his teasing with a response, Y/N quickly ending the call.

Silence hung heavy in the air and she let her eyes hover over the phone for too long when she settled it down on the bed, unwilling to connect her eyes with his just yet. Harry always had a way of staring into her and revealing all her cards to him before she even knew them herself. She wanted to hold them close to her chest for a moment, protecting the heart that longed for him more than anything else in the world.

There were no words exchanged between the two for a while as they silently took turns in the bathroom and occupied their hands and thoughts by their phones. They walked on eggshells anytime one neared the other. A tension like this hadn’t existed since the very first day they met, the first day they had begun to pretend.

Maybe that's why Harry was being so quiet. Maybe he never wanted to cross that line of pretending like she did. Maybe she had been blinded by his generally friendly personality and tricked herself into thinking there was anything more than a charade between them. Maybe last night really was just a drunken mistake, no matter how much she wanted it to be more.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that we don’t remember what happened last night,” she finally murmured from the opposite end of the room. She rested the side of her still heavy head and muscles against the wall, arms crossed in front of her as if they could keep her safe from the tension they had created. Her fingers nervously played with the hem of his t-shirt she was still dressed in.

“Why is it a good thing?” he almost immediately responded from the chair on the other side of the room he had settled himself into, running his hands along the satin pants of last night’s outfit he had put back on during their awkward shuffling around the room. He had even put physical space between them since they found out what happened, causing her heart to feel as if it was teetering on the edge of disintegrating.

“Well,” she stuttered, refusing to look at him and continuing to pick at her nail polish. “We’re just pretending so it would be weird if we really remembered it.”

“I don’t think it would be weird.”

“I don’t know,” she tried to maneuver her way around his response. “It might just be embarrassing to think about it.”

He let out a long and frustrated sigh, running his hands down his face. There was so much going on behind his eyes and she wished he would say something, anything, to break down the wall that hadn’t existed between them in months that was slowly reappearing.

“Do you regret it?” he asked bluntly, the abrupt question shocking her body to attention. “Do you regret any of this? Any of us?”

Did she regret drinking too much? Yes. Did she regret making out with him in front of their manager? Yes. Did she regret denying her feelings and pretending they didn’t exist for so long? Of course. But, did she regret falling in love with him? Never, not even for a second.

“No, I don’t,” she let out with a gentle shake of her head, no louder than a whisper.

“Neither do I.”

The words had barely left his lips before he crossed the room and crashed them into hers. The same fire she had felt on stage returned ten times over as his lips moved smoothly over hers, every neuron in her body lighting up like a switchboard. Her fingers reached up to curl into his hair and pull his lips impossibly closer to hers as her heart hammered in her chest with a passionate love she had kept under wraps for so long.

He tasted like the spicy peppermint toothpaste the hotel stocked in the bathroom and smelled like the tiny bottles of shampoo that rested on the side of the bathtub; but there was so much else about him that was completely unique–wholly irreplaceable and indescribable. He was just Harry.

Teeth clashed, lips were bitten, and hair was pulled as they took in every sensation the other created. His lips had been the only thought that captivated her mind since they were on stage the night before and her return to them did not disappoint. If her head wasn’t dizzy and her lungs not screaming at her for air, she would have stayed in that moment forever

When they finally disconnected, they stood against each other in a heaving and disheveled mess of heavy breathing and adoringly dazed smiles. She swore she could feel the pounding of his heart under her fingertips that rested on his chest.

“That was nice,” he eventually murmured down at her through heavy breaths, a love drunk grin finding its way onto his swollen lips.

“Yeah, I agree,” she hummed breathlessly, her anxious thoughts quiet and calm for the first time she could remember since she met him.

“I’m kind of disappointed I don’t remember doing that the first time,” he chuckled softly at her, shaking his head lightly in embarrassment with his pink tinged cheeks on full display.

“That’s okay. We were ‘just practicing’ then, right?” A giggle left her lips as she used the words against him. The same words he had used every time they let a glimpse of their true affections for each other slip past their guarded and friendly facade.

His dimples were exposed when he smiled a giant grin and let out a knowing huff, piecing together that she had caught onto his trail of excuses. “Yeah, just practicing,” he repeated softly, before his tone turned sincere and genuine. “I don’t want us to pretend anymore.”

“Good,” she said softly as her fingers slid up his neck to beckon his lips back down to hers. “I never was.”

“Neither was I.” She watched a soft smirk appear on his lips as they hovered over hers. “Do you want to keep not practicing?”

“Depends,” she quipped, lips brushing over his as she spoke. “Am I better kisser than Taylor Swift?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK MEAN THE WORLD!!! 

An extra for our babies can be found here!

[tomhiddelstonandzaynmalik]

"Dating Warren would include" HC

Note: just a 2AM blurb about our fav winged boi. btw I'm pretty sure it's awfully written but idgaf bc it's way to late to proof read it.

Enjoy ✨

--------------------------------------------

Warren is the most touch-starved person ever to exist.

He would turn into putty for you and you only.

Srsly, he loooooveeees having your hands all over him.

Playing with this golden locks you adore so much.

Kissing his forehead, his cheek or any other part.

Kissing him all together!!!

Even if it's just holding his hand, it doesn't matter this man loves every single chance he gets to feel your touch.

Problem is, he is also Mr. tough guy! So he wouldn't be the biggest of fans for PDA.

After all your man has a reputation to look after.

If you're out with the gang he would let you hold his hand or he would place a protective wing around you

Nothing more

People thinks your relationship is the least romantic one ever.

Those fools!

Once your alone your BigBadassScaryBoyfriend turns into the neediest baby ever.

Like, if your reading or busy doing homework he would just lay his head down on your lap for you to play with his hair

He will absolutely fall asleep like that

Talking about sleep

It's heavy.

Bc of his wings, the only position comfortable for him is on his stomach.

Wouldn't stop him from wanting you close to him tho.

He would always have you underneath his wing

With an arm wrapped around you

Not the best idea for a hot summer night bc of how hot it can get under those his wings

Really!!!!!

Not like you mind.

You love sleeping with Warren next to you

It's like, sleeping inside a cacoon

It's warm and it's quiet and it's only you two!!!!!!!

Did I mention kisses?!?!

This man is the biggest kisser there is

And the bestttt

No, really every kiss leaves you all flustered and breathing heavily

Would also get him all blushed and with a foolish grinn

Passionate kisses on the rooftop where you won't be interrupted

Longing kisses whenever you wake up and leave for classes

Soft and tender when you're cuddling or after he wakes up from a nightmare

Those are bittersweet

The salt from his tears would get in the way

You would kiss the hollows of his eyes too

And his face entirely

Just asssshagsjsksjs he's so gorgeous and you adore him so much, why wouldn't you want to kiss his everything all the time.

Back to the sad stuff

He has had a shitty life and more nights that you woul like, he wakes up all sweaty and teary from being hunted by those past mistakes

The first time he cried In front of you he thought you'll dump his ass

Yes, your man is't so bright all the timeeee

Actually It had the complete opposite consequence

You held him in your arms and just .... Stayed like that, saying sweet nothings trying to calm him down

That's when you found his weakest spot

While you were soothing him by caressing his shoulders and arms

In the middle of his back where his wings meet

That's the spot

Warren goes crazyyyyyyy whenever you massage that place

His wings are gigantic meaning he gets gigantic back pains

Special where those angelic beauties come out from his back

But no, srsly massage that place and you'll have The Angel Of Death at your knees

Btw talking about wings

You are the only living being that can get close to them

He's proud of his wings!!!! His most prized possession

But then he lost them and got his horseman ones and then he got them back thanks to Hank

AND HE WOULD RIPPED OFF ANYONE'S HEAD IF THEY DARE TO TOUCHED THEM.

For reallllllll!

He would be death if he lost his white feathery wings again

So he's incredibly jealous of them

And you

OH DEAR LORD THIS MAN GETS SO JEALOUS ALL THE TIME

Not like crazy psycho jealous

He trusts you and he knows you'll never do anything to hurt him

But your pretty good looking yourself

Which causes many men to want to be the one you kiss

That being said Warren during those situations would just hold you by the waist

Or wrap you with his wings

Or grab your butt for everyone to know that butt is his

Buuuuutttt if the men in question make are making you uncomfortable

You know, undressing you with their gaze or anything else like that

THOSE BITCHES ARE DEATH

He would be the one to start the fighting

Not like you'll want to stop him

You kindda enjoy it

Seeing him kick those bastard's asses has to be the hottest thin ever

But srsly HE WOULD TURN INTO A RABID DOG WHENEVER HE'LL SEE A FUCKER LIKE THOSE

Now back to the wings

Not even the gang can even poke at them or HE WILL BREAK SOMETHING

OR RATHER SOMEONE

unless it's you

He adores how much you love his wings

And with how much tenderness you touch them

You are the only one that can clean them after missions

He used to do it himself but it's a hell lots of work

And oh so hard to do, bc he can't see what he's doing so they were always somewhat dirty

Until you offered to help after you found him struggling one day

He'd made a mess all over the room

There was water and feathers all over the place

And he was lying on the ground trying real hard not to loose his shit in frustration

And you couldn't help to laugh

He looked so cuuuuteeee

He didn't like that part tho

But when you held out a hand for him to follow up to the bathroom

And cleaned his wings so deligently

He couldn't help but to love you even more

If that was even possible

After all he's just a big beautiful, hot-headed bird

But a bird nonetheless

And many birds mate for life

Like swans

And crows

And Warren Worthington III

Yup you heard me right

Your man is in for the long rideeeee

There is no way in hell you'll get rid of him

Ever.

And let's be honest you wouldn't have it any other way

You love him with all your heart!!!!!

And he loves you with all of his!!!!

[carlosfruitsnacks]

Could I request a Carlos x fem!reader

Where Carlos and reader have been friends for long, but ppl still bullied reader secretly. One day, reader get’s hurt and Carlos finds out and is pissed (everyone relates to him being angry). While reader is being treated Carlos goes to avenge, Milo and Mira try to stop him. But the only one who can truly stop Carlos from his rage cloud is reader. He calms down, and feels guilty “sorry I couldn’t protect you better”. And reader being like but you dont have to, and him being like, I want to. And stuff like that. Sorry if it’s too specific and so long! (Also, Abuela and Pepa not scolding him for it bc 1- they kinda relate 2- they saw how Carlos looks at reader. A story where Carlos fight but don’t get punished for it 😂)

"Mi Salvador"

summary:

— Carlos cherished you in every way and wants nothing but the best for you. Yet it seemed as though you've been secretly getting anything but the best and eventually he learns the truth and boy, he was a hot and boiling ball full of rage. Carlos was guilty of not being the one who protects you.

genre:

— fluff with a little bit of angst

notes:

— female reader. I do not speak fluent Spanish and all of the Spanish here is translated from google, feel free to correct me if I got something wrong though I will refrain from using too much Spanish.

warning/s:

— depictions of violence & assault

hello anon! I hope you like this one :>

You and he have been stuck to the hip since children, everybody felt odd about the chemistry you two developed. You and Carlos were complete opposites. He was brash and bold and you were soft and shy. Yet despite having various contrasts, you and he had a connection like no other. You completed one another. Carlos may not be the most sympathetic guy but you taught him how to be one and in return he gave you the world.

Carlos and you have this bond that nobody can easily fathom. You and he will have this some sort of telepathic conversation with nods and hand gestures, akin to playing charades, then one of you would react funnily. Even Camilo was baffled to see his twin gaining friendship.

Today was not different. You'll wake up and meet up with Carlos by the town's square, on your basically favorite hangout spot by the fountain. He's often the first to arrive, greeting you with a teasing smirk. You two would eat an empanada or more by the fountain, talking about whatever. And about noon, both of you would separate ways for a moment to do chores or something else. During that duration without Carlos comes the most terrifying part of your day.

You're walking as fast as you can to reach the comfort of your home but as always, a group of teens would block your way. You cowered, feeling your legs shake as your fight or flight mode kicks in. You choose to flee but someone grabs you by the arm and roughly yanks you back.

"Be-Benjo-!"

You squeaked at the boy with raven hair and mischievous chocolate eyes. Benjo was a very attractive boy if it weren't for his horrible attitude.

"hola ratoncito"

He purred and grabs both of your shoulders, he leans his lips near your ears, taunting you.

"Alone again, I see"

You gulped and tried to free yourself but he traps you in his arms causing you to become squeamish. Benjo pinches your cheek firmly

"Ah so soft. ¡Tan preciosa y vulnerable! And all mine"

"Please leave me alone"

You pleaded and he gives you a laugh. Benjo pushes you down to the dusty pavement as he and his group tower over you.

"Look at you [Name], you think you're so safe whenever you're with Carlos huh? If he cares about you so much then why would he leave you to walk home and alone with us scattered around?"

Your lips begin to quiver. This has happened more than once, nobody knows that you were being bullied because you were scared of telling. If you were to tell someone, they might not believe you and if ever Benjo found out you're trying to get him in trouble, he'll double the harassment. You tried but it seemed like trying to get help would make everything worse.

"I bet Carlos is just playing with you by letting you fall into danger, huh? If he cared then why isn't he here to save you now? Where's tu salvador?"

You know Benjo is lying and he's only trying to get in your head. You knew Carlos, he cares for you, he loves you because you're his best friend. Yet there's this little voice in your head that gives you doubt, what if Benjo was right? Before you knew it, your eyes begin to water.

"Aww, pobre ratoncito"

Benjo coos as his friends laughed at you.

"God, you're so pathetic [Name]. What were you thinking? A girl like you won't survive on her own, being soft and kind won't get you anywhere. Consider this as free advice from me"

He grabs your chin while tears flow violently from your eyes, Benjo sneered at your helplessness.

"You're such a fucking crybaby. Sooner, Carlos would grow tired of you and throw you away, nobody will ever want you"

With his final words, Benjo delivers a punch on your nose. You were thrown back with a scream stuck on your throat. You were beyond shaking as you reached to touch your nose, blood begins to exit your nostrils. Your eyes widen, footsteps approach you as you try to crawl back but somebody stops you with a kick to your abdomen. Benjo smacks you hard on the head and suddenly your vision starts to fade.

"Nobody will ever want you, stupid girl"

These were the last words you heard before you blacked out on the dirty pavement.

You gained consciousness and found yourself lying in an alleyway. Immediately, you tried to stand up but your body begins to ache. You winced as your eyes watered. You leaned against the wall for support and tried to stand up. Your vision was a bit hazy but you were determined to get back home before anybody sees you. This has happened several times yet each moment you encounter Benjo it appears to only get worse. You didn't understand why they were so cruel, even if you tried to ask you're too afraid to get the words out.

As you limped your way home, you rushed towards the bathroom. You saw your reflection, your face was full of dirt and smears of your blood, there's a bruise on your nose but it wasn't obvious. You quickly started washing up and patching all the wounds on your body. By the time you finished, it was getting dark outside.

Shit, I was supposed to meet up with Carlos an hour ago!

You rushed outside, ignoring the remaining pain all over your body. You practically ran to your usual meeting spot, you let out a heavy sigh when you spot Carlos waiting impatiently with crossed arms. He sees you and suddenly his hard expression turns gentle as you approached him.

"¡Lo siento, Carlos! I-I got too caught up with my chores"

You chuckled as you lied, honestly, it hurt that you have to lie to the person you trust the most but it was for the better. Carlos playfully rolls his eyes.

"Dios mio, I thought something bad has happened to you, not that I was worried"

Carlos smirked as he joked, then he gives you a light punch on your shoulder causing you to cry out in pain. He freezes as you felt your blood turn cold.

"Hey, are you alrigh-"

"I'm fine! I'm fine! I just...finished doing this difficult chore! And I kinda hit my shoulder while doing it but nothing too bad!"

You were praying silently that Carlos would take your excuse, you almost collapsed in relief when he scoffs at you.

"Sheesh, you should've called me for help you clumsy girl"

Carlos says with a hand on his hip while he sassed, you waved him off.

"Come on, I'm okay! I can handle things on my own"

Carlos gives you a suspicious look so you rolled your eyes and slapped him on the shoulder. His face morphs into amusement as he snickered.

"Whatever. Want some of tía's arepas for that?"

He asks and pointed at your aching shoulder.

"Sure"

You reply. Carlos leads you to la casa Madrigal, the moment you sat down in Julieta's kitchen and ate one of her arepas, your whole body felt so much lighter and it was so refreshing. You decided to have dinner with the Madrigals. Nobody has to know everything you're going through, you'll just get in their way, especially Carlos. As long as he doesn't see any cuts and bruises you'll be fine even if you don't know how much longer can you tolerate it all. It all only started with cruel words until they started getting physical, but nothing it's you can't handle.

You munched on your food and smiled along with the Madrigal family, oblivious to Carlos' worried stare.

Oddly, you went this morning to meet Carlos by the fountain to not see him there. That was strange considering he never skipped a day to meet up at your favorite place. You sat there for a while thinking maybe he was just late. An hour and a half passed and Carlos didn't show up, you frowned to yourself. Perhaps something urgent happened that he needed to take care of? Whatever the case is, you decided to just return to the town' square later.

You dreaded your walk back home, you knew deep down in your gut that Benjo and his friends is going to come and harass you again. Your biggest fear has been confirmed when Benjo does appear in front of you, his friends not too far behind. Your whole body starts to shake as fear consumes you. Your mind screams for you to run and you did. However, when your head turned, someone grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you back. You come face to face with Benjo.

"Ple-please Be-Benjo don-don't"

You stammered. His face displayed pure displease of you pleading so he grabs your chin to look at him dead in the eye.

"And just where do you think you're going, ratoncito?"

Benjo growled at you, tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes. His grip on your chin was so hard that you're afraid he's about to break your jaw. Eventually, he lets go and looks the other way. You were standing still like a statue, you begin to cry and hiccup as you feel his friends approaching. Your mouth was shaking, unable to form or say any sentences because of the sheer fright you were experiencing. The expression on your face displayed how you were imagining the horror Benjo was about to do. Your eyebrows were furrowed, eyes unable to stop watering, and your mouth kept moving and creating incoherent sounds caused by your fear of him.

"Will you STOP being noisy?!"

Suddenly, Benjo turns and swiftly plants a solid punch on your face, you scream then stumble down to the pavement. You hold your cheek and begin to panic, your heart was beating so loud that you can hear it in your ears. Your vision was blurry because of the tears that kept flowing down your face.

"Wh-why are yo-you doing this to m-me?!"

You involuntary screamed. Benjo's eyes were glowing with rage as he reaches to grab your chin again, he brings his face so close to yours that your foreheads were touching.

"Because you're nothing but a lousy and stupid bitch! You keep getting into my nerves by squeaking like a fucking mouse!"

Benjo growled at you. Your breathing becomes labored, forgetting to take a breath because of the horror you were encountering. You kept sobbing loudly in front of him.

"Ben-Benjo ple-please-"

He grips your blouse and punches you again. You fall back as he stands up to kick you in the stomach. You continue bawling on the pavement, drool drips out of your mouth as you struggled to breathe through the pain. Benjo scoffs at you with disgust then leaves you after inflicting more injuries.

Meanwhile, Carlos panicked as he got dressed and literally tripped his way out of the house. Mierda, he's so late! He was supposed to meet you an hour ago! He woke up late because he was thinking about you all night. As he arrived by the fountain, you were not there and his heart dropped with disappointment. He hoped you weren't mad at him. Carlos decided to visit your house in case you were there.

On his way, he saw a figure lying on the street and they were crying nonstop. Carlos stops and looked at the person more carefully. When he saw your face with bruises and blood, Carlos' brain stops functioning. You were lying alone on the street, badly hurt and sobbing. It was the last thing he wanted to see. At a speed faster than a second, Carlos rushes to you. The moment he got close, his heart was crushed to bits and pieces. You looked like a mess, when you meet his eyes, he felt a thousand times worse as you start reaching your arms to him. Carlos carefully holds you and helps you up to your feet. He couldn't stand hearing you mumble unclear sentences as you clung unto him for dear life. Immediately, he carries you back to his house.

Carlos kept thinking who had the nerve to hurt you to that extent? His hands begin to shake as rage kicks in. Carlos has never felt angry in his entire life. Whoever hurt you would never see the sunlight again, he swears. That person would never hear the end of his wrath. Carlos heads to the kitchen and calls for his tía Julieta. She shows up and sees you horribly injured, she gasps then quickly fetches you something to eat. Others arrived at the kitchen to see the commotion, when they saw you crying so hard they all rushed to comfort you. Carlos' heart melted at the sight of his family taking care of you, but his anger was much stronger.

"Hermano, who did this to her?"

Camilo asks him with concern. Carlos' eye twitched.

"I don't know, but I will find them"

Camilo gulped at his twin, who had this unblinking gaze forward and was clearly beyond pissed. Camilo grabs Mirabel by the shoulder as he whispered to her and pointed at his brother. They watched him with worry and kept an eye out in case he goes on planning something. You were regaining your breath as Julieta slowly fed you some food, it was slowly taking effect as you sat and waited for all of your injuries to be healed. The Madrigals all let out a sigh of relief. Carlos comes to you and looks at you sternly in the eye. Your heart leaped out of your chest at his dark expression. You knew well how infuriated he can get and it scared you down to the core.

"Are you okay?"

His voice was surprisingly soft when he asked you. Unable to find any words, you only nod at him. Carlos sighs through his nose.

"Who did this to you?"

His voice turned deep and you flinched. Carlos watched you bite your lip and avoid his gaze, by this, he can tell that whoever hurt you seemed to have full control of you and it made his blood boil hotter.

"Please [Name], I just want to know who is responsible for this"

He asked more gently. He grits his teeth at each second you remain silent. Carlos balled his hands and his throat grew tight. Fine, if you won't tell him who, he'll have to find them himself. He makes his way towards the door, he was willing to search the entire land of Encanto for that fucker.

"Carlos! Hermano, we need to think this through!"

"Yeah, primo! We need to calm down first!"

Camilo and Mirabel rushed to stop Carlos from breaking somebody's neck. He growled when they tried to pull him back.

"¡Mierda! Stop it! I need to find out who fucking hurt [Name]!"

Carlos was determined to get revenge that not even his mother can stop him. You noticed the scene unfolding and you immediately reached out to him.

"Ca-Carlos!"

Suddenly, he halts and turns his head to face you. Camilo and Mirabel were stunned by the fact that Carlos was stopped by only the sound of your voice. Your eyes pleaded at him, it was full of hurt and desperation that all his anger fades away as he made his way towards you.

"I need you, please"

You whispered to him. The Madrigals decided to leave you two be, Carlos carefully wraps his arms around you. The sense of comfort and security was all you felt as he held you in his arms. You buried your face on the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent. When the fury disappeared, Carlos was left to feel...guilty. He felt guilty that he wasn't there to protect you, to prevent you from getting hurt. He should've been there! He could've done something! His eyes begin to feel wet.

"[Name] I...I'm sorry"

His voice sounded timid like he was holding back a sob and it saddened you. So you pulled away and placed a hand on his cheek, his face slowly heats up by the sudden touch.

"It's okay, Carlos. Besides, I should be the one sorry"

"But why?"

"I...this wasn't the first time I got...hurt"

Carlos' face shifted into frustration but he keeps calm, he takes your hand and clasps it between his palms.

"Are you telling me they've been hurting you more than once?"

His tone was hoarse, he tried his best to remain calm for your sake.

"Yes...please don't be mad"

"But why? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

There was a pause when he asked you. It took all your might not to break down in front of him, you slowly leaned into his touch and embraced him again, craving the welcoming warmth of his body.

"I thought that...you would never care or that you grew tired of me so like...why bother-"

"What the fuck?"

Carlos never felt so offended by your words, he gently grabs the sides of your face and looks into your eyes.

"I care about you [Name]. Look, I'm sorry if it's not obvious but I do. I want to be there for you, I want to be with you all the time. I want to be the one to save you when someone tries to hurt you"

Carlos didn't realize that he was rambling and the effect does it have on you. At that second when he told you how much he cared, you were smitten. Your face felt warmer than the sun and was redder than an apple. Carlos tugged on your heartstrings that you couldn't help but fall for him.

"Oh mi salvador "

You swoon and bury yourself in his arms. He was shocked for a second but found himself flustered by the immediate affection. He sighs.

"I promise that I will try my best to protect you better"

"You don't have to"

"But I want to"

Carlos pouts and suddenly he's the most adorable person in the world. You squeal and showered him with your attention. He spent the rest of the day not leaving your side.

Carlos watched as you played with his little brother. You were laughing with Antonio as he told you stories about his animals. While he was enjoying the peaceful sight of you having fun, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Carlos turns and sees Camilo, his face scrunched up.

"What do you want?"

"We found them"

Carlos' face morphs into shock for a fraction of a second then becomes stern. Gives you one single glance then follows his brother outside. Dolores including his mother and Abuela was waiting for him, he raises a brow.

"So, who did it?"

"I heard someone talking about [Name] and how their friend beat her up yesterday, that friend was named Benjo"

Dolores informs him. Carlos' face displays realization, he knew Benjo had a mean streak like him but they were always different. He seethes, but before he could leave to find Benjo, Pepa blocks his way. He assumed that she was going to stop him from beating the guy into a pulp then she sighs.

"Be careful out there, mijo"

"Huh? You're not going to stop me, mamá?"

Carlos was baffled when his mother sighed and caressed his cheek. Abuela walks to him.

"We saw the way you look at her, Carlito. We understand the feelings you hold for her"

He was trying hard not to feel soft or endeared by Abuela's words. So he gives them a grin and an amused scoff instead.

"Well, wish me luck then"

"You better return without a scratch, mijo. Never let this happen again"

Pepa warned him as she watched her son go and give Benjo a piece of his mind. Abuela wraps an arm around her daughter's shoulder as they watched Carlos fondly.

"He grew up so fast"

A raincloud appears above them, Abuela chuckles and doesn't comment on it.

"Estoy de acuerdo. Camilo, Dolores, you mustn't tell your papá about this, okay?"

"Sí Abuela"

masterlist

[mhagun]

TokRev boys taking care of their (usually responsible and level-headed) drunk s/o ⁉

Ken “Draken” Ryuguji:

-tbh ONE of the most responsible out of everyone here.

-You were usually more calm and composed than most of the people he hung out with ei: Baji, Mikey, smiley, angry, etc., so when he had come back to pick you up after you had gone out with your friends and found you shit. faced. Tbh lowkey astonished.

- “How much have they had ???????” “A few cocktails, maybe 7 or 8?” “SEVEN OR EIGHT ????”

- Refuses to talk to your friends for a while even after you sober up later. Like, you’re their friend? Why weren’t they looking out for you?? They seemed sober enough, so what were you guys doing in the first place that got you wasted and them tipsy at most??? Anyways-

-Now to the actual taking care of you part !

-Draken was actually pretty surprised when you were calmer most of the way during the car ride back to his place, maybe it was because you were typically a calm person but either way he was relieved. That was until you started panicking. He didn’t know what to do and he was just around the corner from his penthouse when you started grasping at the car doors, a scared look plastered onto your face.

- “Hey babes, what’s up ?” “WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOYFRIEND ??”

-Idk how you lowkey try to beat someone's ass but that’s exactly what you did lol. Or… more like tried to do? Anyways, you’re flailing around like a mad man demanding to know who he was and where you were. And then you just,,,,,, pass out ??

-Like you, deadass fell asleep in the middle of him trying to get you out of the car… But whatever, you were much calmer than before soooo, it’s a win for Draken !

- Lays you down on his couch and gives you saltines and warmed milk to raise your blood sugar and keeps all of his lights off to lessen your eventual migraine <3.

-Afterward, he makes you promise to him that if anyone around you pressures you to drink or forces you to drink, pls pls please tell him so he can bonk them on the head with his wrench.

- plus he doesn’t rlly trust you around those friends anymore.

-overall 9.8/10 rlly caring and mature bf

Baji: -THIS MENACE-

Where do I even start w/ him? *sigh*

Since he’s usually energetic (and kinda pushy) he’s asking hella questions.

“Where were you ? How much had you had ? Was it your friends or mine ? Were you pressured ? Was it hard liquor ?”

He won’t. shut. up. And frankly, it was too much for your significantly slugged-down brain to process. So how do respond to his loving nagging ? cry. Bawl your eyes out.

He definitely panicked and hugged you so that you’d stop sooner, but was just a little upset when you had harshly told him to “Just shut up !”

Of course, everything you said was slurred so it was harder to take seriously, but it still hurt nonetheless.

But ofc he’ll still take care of you ! <<<3333

He’ll let you sleep on his chest, shirtless, w/ a cool damp cloth on your forehead. And after you sober up and your still not feeling well he’ll feed you crackers and soda to help fill your tummy <3333.

Cards his hands through your hair and rubs your sides while you snore on top of him. You were wearing one of his washed-out band tees, and he knew that you would 100% not approve bcs of the sheer amount of vulgar language and sexual references in almost all of their songs. Takes hella pictures of you sleeping. The one he likes most (and also the one he had saved on his phone,) is of you w/ the band shirt clearly showing the name in the background w/ his middle finger in the forefront.

Will 100% tease you ab it while and after you have a hangover.

You ended up being late to one of your club meetings and for some reason, he gets scolded ???? “YOU SHOULD’VE WOKEN ME UP !” “And you shouldn’t’ve made so much to drink but okay~, whatever”

He did try to wake you up, but you deadass just wouldn’t. At some point, the idea that you had died jokingly crossed his mind but he knew his baby wouldn’t die on him over something so stupid lol.

Overall 8.9/10 bf he’s a bit clingy later but it’s whatever ig..

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction!  akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.  

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!!  when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all.  mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~”  this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves.  his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit.  i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?  

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think?   i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him.  you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.”  yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this.  she’s acting normal.  utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him.  it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things.  even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course.  i didn’t do anything wrong and all.”  what a guy LOLOL.  to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings.�� she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far.  i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him.  would he console her?  how does gojo satoru console someone?  

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk.  she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did.  that’s the kind of person utahime is.  a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger.  in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga.  she also has her own tea cup.  i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail.  it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel.  first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice.  two times too many, mr. gojo.  i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL.  i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all.  does it always end in bickering?  can they interact with each other like adults all the way through?  somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two.  furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions.  from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to.  i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to.  by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.  

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him?  gojo is manually activating his infinity.  why though?  about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion.  this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off.  there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo.  for example, yuuji giving him a hug.  did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat?  the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous?  even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt.  how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo?  i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone.  some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up.  i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be.  remember the second opening?  it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity.  if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off.  you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga?  the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants.  he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment.  how does this long tangent relate back to utahime?  well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her.  turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard  in a way.  

how about what happens next?  utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary!  hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!”  why would he even say that LMAO??  utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either.  she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!”  could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status?  maybe, maybe not.  doesn’t he like people a lil crazy?  he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.  

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that.  could it be utahime?  it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone.  he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design.  this design is inspired by arrow fletching.  it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back.  brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home.  this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride.  there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil.  honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story.  utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits.  they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent.  do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo?  from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward.  what could this mean?  is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing.  she’s wearing miko attire.  miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?).  in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will).  this was back in the old days, of course.  to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential.  neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism.  when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens.  chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas.  all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :)  maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations.  i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy.  it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing.  they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch.  in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu.  it’s more traditional compared to tokyo.  if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!  

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets.  i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her.  at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE.  why are they sitting next to each other anyway?  it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through.  i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors.  i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[goldengoddess]

best part of me, sunshine

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

request: your work is literal art! the way you write kaz is so endearing. i was gonna request - if you’re up for it - a reader who’s a literal ray of sunshine as a human being and kaz being his moody self and their interactions whilst in a developed relationship. you can totally be creative with this one and you’re amazing!! :D

a/n: i got SO outta hand with this only bc i totally projected bc this is the kinda person i am LMAO also THIS IS TOTALLY MY FAVORITE TROPE OR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC best best thing ever anon thank you for this request i hope u like it! and thank u so much ur so freaking kind

warnings: some angst? like kinda in the middle? basically kaz getting into a mood and taking it out on the reader a little bit but HAPPY ENDINGS PEOPLE

you were the best part of him

he knew it

you knew it

everyone around him knew it

your energy, the pure light you brought into the world, was the best part of kaz’s life

no one was sure when the two of you became a ‘thing’

one day you were just there

to kaz there was before and after you

and frankly he didn’t really care about the before

he just cared about you

but kaz was, well, kaz

he wasn’t exactly the most, um como se dice, easy to get along with person

but you never seemed to mind

your extroverted ‘i get along and love every person i meet’ personality had won him over the way it won over everyone else

and though the two of you were quiet literally the opposites attract theory, it worked

it worked really well

kaz had his moods

but they never seemed to bring you down

he’d stand in the corner of the crow club

broody and observant

and you would gracefully move through the crowd

and he’d watch as you talked with total strangers

and when you bid them goodbye they would be left smiling, or blushing, sometimes both

he couldn’t deny your affect on people

you made business boom

everyone loved your energy

and when they found of you were kaz’s they would laugh and shake their head in disbelief

you’d come up to him during a busy night and tug at his sleep

“kaz! theres a man over there who sells goats! actual goats! he was telling me all about it, i think we should get one? what do you think? kind of like a mascot, oh wait! maybe we should get a crow instead?”

he’d listen to you ramble and find himself leaning your way

soaking in your warmth

the corners of his lips involuntary tugging upwards the way they always did when you spoke

you’d drag him along occasionally

to meet someone particularly interesting

or meet a surprisingly cute goat named milo

sometimes he’d even enjoy being at your side

he liked how you showed him off like he was something to be proud of you

because you were

proud of him

proud to be his

proud that the two of you could love each other

you’d make the best comments to him throughout the night

whispered into his ear of course

“nina told me this woman actually came here from ravka! saints i’d love to go”

or

“kaz she is just so pretty! maybe i should dye my hair like that? what do you think? could be fun! oh you should totally do it with me.”

you filled his days in a way he didn’t know was possible

in return he slowed you down

you were sunshine, as the poets might like to say

and you were in constant motion

always trying to be active and helping others

always smiling

sometimes, even at the expense of your own well being and peace

you’d be up early, earlier than even kaz, busying yourself around his room or the slat

and you’d walk up to his bed as he woke up,

and you would be so tired, exhausted even

but you’d smile down at kaz

“can we just lie here for a bit?” he would ask

you’d let out a breath of relief

because he knew

that you were pushing your limits

and you’d lay next to him

fingertips brushing against each other

just for a few minutes

he knew the ways to make you recharge

so your sunshine personality was genuine and not faked

some days were decidedly not so great

kaz’s moods could be turbulent

he never meant to let them affect his attitude towards you

but kaz had suffered through hell, multiple times

and it just took over some days

you could brush certain things of

but then he’d push you away when you attempted to make him smile or calm him down

you’d leave a comforting hand on his shoulder, the way you always did

as he’d recoil

“saints, can you go do anything else” he would growl

or when he really needed to fight he’d yell something along the lines of: “you are not helping! you’re too much right now.”

and you’d flinch at his words

and he would regret them immediately

you’d stick your chin up higher and make your way towards the door

“kaz, i know you’re hurting right now. i’ll give you space, even though i don’t think you really want that. but this is how i am. i am happy. i am comforting. i will not let you make me feel less than for that.”

and you’d slam the door, hurrying to your room so you could breathe

kaz would follow you

his bad mood gone and replaced with deep deep shame

he never meant any of the things he said to you when he got into a mood, never

and you were right, he wanted to you there always

but another part of him pushed and pushed

he’d knock on your door the way he always did after he said something much too cruel for you

you’d open it, with your soft, beautiful, sympathetic smile

“you ready to stop acting so much like a teenager and talk to me?” you would ask, hand on your hip

he would nod and give you an actual smile, just to make up for everything

everything would be good by the end of the night

the air smelling of kaz’s favorite candle and your head on his shoulder as you recounted your day to him

everyone had, fittingly, dubbed you ‘sunshine’

you heard it even more than you heard your name at this point

to kaz, you were still angel

you always would be

but occasionally he’d throw in your most common pet name

like when you came up to him

buzzing with energy

all giggly and glowing

and leave quick kisses all over his face

excited and bubbling with joy and love for him

and he would just be blown away by you once again

how something so undeniably good could exist in this hellish city

he’d grab your face and a smile would tug at his lips

“you are the best part of me, sunshine” he would tell you

and kiss your forehead before walking off

unknowingly, leaving you with more happiness in your chest than usual

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓸, 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾

character(s): izuku midoriya x gn!reader (x katsuki bakugou) 

a/n: gosh i love angst (quick note!! i edit to the best of my ability, however it’s easy to miss things, and i type 100 words per minute, so im sorry if i miss some things!) this ain’t a poly relationship btw, i don’t feel like i could write that well (no shame to people who do!! personally i feel like i would butcher it) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

based off the song: it’s my party by lesley gore

summary: y/n realizes going to katsuki bakugou’s wedding was a mistake

genre: angst all the way shawties 

warnings: light cursing, heartbreak, alcohol, one-sided pining (reader), aged up/pro-hero au, sad reminiscing bc ahaha bakugou made us sad :’) and a crap load of references to the song, friend zoning (eesh) 

word count: 2,566

ik yall are waiting for a part 2 of brutal and part 3 of you’re not my boyfriend but this idea just struck i had to get it down pls 

- - - 

“let’s raise a toast to our finest lovebirds, my best friend and his wife, katsuki bakugou and ochaco uraraka!” kirishima took a sip of champagne. 

you lifted your beverage in unison with the others seated at your table but did not drink. you blinked down at the fizzing beverage. 

“we wish you all the best,” kirishima said. “you and your best buds have no doubt you two’ll be known as some of the most indestructible symbols of peace.” 

another wave of applause passed among the crowd. the last toast was finished and the music resumed. your entire table left you sitting. it wasn’t like you knew anyone here, anyways. nobody except for the few classmates bakugou was still in touch with. 

those people consisted of izuku midoriya, who was sitting at the table across from you, as well as across the dance floor. 

the lights twinkled up again, red, blue, and green flashing along the floor. 

you couldn’t deny it. bakugou in a red suit, uraraka in a wedding dress fell just above her knees, a red bow tied around her waist. you did not doubt that if you were to be sold as a healthy person on the black market, that dress would still be worth more than you. 

the only comfort you had was midoriya, who had greeted you when you came in, but the two of you had exchanged no further words. but he looked equally as miserable as you. 

uraraka and bakugou were perfect together. they looked happy. and you were happy to see bakugou happy. happy to see uraraka happy with him. 

bakugou dipped his newlywed wife to the beat of the music. her back arched perfectly into his large hands. 

what hurts the most was that, while you wished it was you instead of her on that dance floor, you knew it wouldn’t work out. 

not that you and bakugou wouldn’t have worked out. the two of you were a perfect couple! 

what hurts the most was that it was a wish, and in every near universe, you still didn’t have that ring. 

uravity and dynamight simply looked...happier. 

- 

you stormed out, shaking. why was your katsuki kissing her? holding her when it should have been you? 

deep down, you knew you had no right. you and bakugou were barely a couple. throughout his years at yuuei, he’d calmed down immensely. so much that he could strike up a conversation with nearly everyone. as it turns out, introverted katsuki bakugou was a shameless flirt. 

the two of you exchanged flitting glances from time to time, but it was never anything serious. at least to him, it wasn’t. 

you knew he’d never taken the flirting seriously, and you also knew about his aching feelings for uraraka. how he covered his mouth whenever she walked by. how his voice raised just a bit, and how soft his eyes got. 

you shouldn’t have been surprised. he never even hinted that he might have had romantic feelings for you. 

the entire room erupted with applause as he kissed her. the katsuki bakugou, kissing someone? pfft, only in dreams. 

for some, the dream would be good. like uraraka, who had shamelessly kissed him back. 

for you, it was a complete nightmare. 

the blaring music, the lights, the balloons, the ‘happy graduation class of 1-A!’ 

you drowned it all out. you curled your knees to your chest. you had no right to be hurt. not at all. they were his emotions. you had no control over them. 

loneliness clouded over you. your chest screamed with longing. a longing to be held. be wanted by him. 

you were alone. nobody was coming to comfort you. nobody was- 

the door opened, clicking shut just as quickly. someone sniffled. 

your eyes flicked up from your knees. 

“y/n? i...i’m sorry, i had no idea anyone was out here...i can leave...”

“it’s alright, izuku.” 

- 

izuku took a swig from a bottle containing something much heavier than champagne. 

that same tug in your chest came about. you were tired of seeing the billboards, the magazines. tired of seeing the unquestionably perfect relationship, perfect love bloom right before you. 

dynamight and uravity this! dynamight and uravity that! 

the music was loud enough, the lights were busy enough, and the people were ignorant enough to neglect your crying figure. 

this was supposed to be my party. he loved me first. 

- 

“you okay?” you asked, swiping your nose. 

izuku looked back at the graduation party. “no, y/n. i’m not.” 

“then we’re both absolute shit.” you let him help you up. “why’re you crying?” 

“just...just uraraka.” 

“for me it’s just bakugou.” 

just as bakugou had calmed down during his years at yuuei, izuku had earned a sense of sarcasm. “are they just oblivious or stupid?” 

“goodness, izuku,” you joked, pressing a hand to your shuddering chest. “calling uraraka stupid?” 

he gave you a sad side-smile. you listened in silence as the upbeat music played on. 

“i guess we’re the stupid ones.” he sighed, chest heaving a little. 

“i guess,” you agreed. he pulled you into a hug, and you let the tears flow. your sobs corrupted your chest as you curled into his arms. “why? why did it have to be her?” 

“not all heroes end up happy, y/n.” 

you looked up at him, eyes puffy, sniffling. “why can’t we be part of that small portion of heroes who are?” 

izuku looked up, trying to neglect the water pooling in his own eyes. “i guess...well, not to be a narcissist—” he let out a breathy chuckle, “―but if you noticed, all the greatest heroes die with some kind of regret.” 

“maybe i don’t want to be a good hero.” you ignored his efforts to lighten the mood. 

“heroes don’t always get to choose whether they’ll be good or not. some things just happen.”

“i’m sorry, izuku.” you swiped at your eyes. “you’re hurt just as badly as me. i don’t want to make it—” 

“hey.” izuku gently pried your hands away from your face, fingers ghosting over your wrists. his emerald eyes gleamed as they stared into yours. “don’t invalidate your feelings just because of me. we’re both hurting, but that doesn’t mean i won’t listen to you.” 

your sobs came back again, and you fell into his chest. 

- 

bakugou spun uraraka, laughing gently as she twirled in his arms. his eyes lit up whenever he saw her. they twinkled. he sparkled. his smile was dazzling. and he was everything you never had. 

you were a heartbroken mess, even after all these years. there was a list of all the reasons you were mad at him, and yourself. 

your sobs were almost uncontrollable, and at this point, you were shocked nobody came to check on you. not that you cared very much. even if you were making a small effort to hide your face, it still would have been nice to feel a touch on your shoulder, someone perhaps shaking you gently to make sure you were awake. 

not that you’d tell them what was wrong. you just wanted to know somebody cared, and to have the option to talk to somebody if you needed to do so. 

but here you were. cheesy, upbeat fifties music echoed along the walls of the room. bakugou had secretly adored artists from back then, and you’d often catch him dancing and singing along to long-forgotten oldies. 

if you weren’t his best friend, you would have blown off coming here and binge-watched ‘my best friend’s wedding’ and sobbed. 

your head was down, forehead leaning on the backs of your forearms stacked upon each other. tears were streaming down, your shoulders shuddering with each weak breath sucked in and released. 

until bakugou chose you, you had no reason to smile. at least not now. by no means were you desperate. love sometimes did that to people. made them look needy, look unwanted. 

you’ve had plenty of options in the past, but the one person who you wanted didn’t want you back. didn’t even care. 

since the graduation party, uraraka and you had been a bit tense. a part of her felt like she knew how you felt, and how bakugou mattered to you more than anyone in the world. 

after the first year, she began abandoning izuku and ignoring his emotions towards her. after she and bakugou found each other, they had already known they would settle with one another. 

you and izuku had never been close, but you were both good friends and were there when you needed one another. 

he had walked you through your pain of senior year, and you’d helped him reach a lot of his goals, too. but bakugou just didn’t seem to care anymore. not even about becoming the number one hero. he looked at uraraka like she was his goal, his new dream, the reason he was happy. he looked at her and saw that he had the world in his hands and wanted to keep it that way. 

you? you were pluto. exiled from the rest of the planets. exiled from the rest of his options, when you used to be his first. 

- 

“y/n?”

you and izuku backed away from each other. you’d both been crying for quite a bit. how long it had been, you were both unsure. 

uraraka now stood at the door. you peeked into the window, leaning back a bit and catching glances of the blonde, who was currently being clapped on the back by his friends, congratulated for ‘getting the girl’. 

“are you guys okay?’ uraraka asked. 

“would you cry, uraraka?” 

she tilted her head. “what?” 

you pushed yourself off of izuku. “do you think you’d cry if you saw me kissing him, too?” 

“what’re you―” 

“you would cry, too! you would be sobbing!” you stabbed an accusatory finger at her. “you were my friend! you knew how i felt, and you’re kissing him?” 

uraraka’s eyes widened. “i...i’m sorry. it all just happened, and i—”

“shut the hell up, uraraka. you ruined this party. for me and izuku.” 

perhaps you went a bit far, but in your heart and your mind, you knew she deserved it. she knew. uraraka had known. 

izuku gave uraraka a sympathetic look before pressing a hand to your back and leading you away. 

- 

it still came as a bit of a shock that uraraka had let bakugou invite you to their wedding. gosh. little, domestic bakugou, sealing invitations and batting his eyes at his oh-so-sweet wife so he could invite his best friend. 

little domestic uraraka sweetly kissing her fiance on the cheek and pouting as she said, “how can i say no?” 

it was disgusting, and everything you wanted to have with him. 

you allowed yourself to be selfish this one time. after all, you deserved it. you’d endured hours of bakugou blabbering on about how sweet uraraka was. everything you weren’t. 

you took the bottle to champagne. your ankles were aching as you stumbled out of the room. your vision blurred, becoming foggy with tears. not one person stopped you. you guessed because nobody noticed. 

like graduation night, you slumped down right outside the doors to the party, the music, lights, and laughter muffled. the only difference was that you had a bottle of champagne and the man of your dreams was gone. for good, this time. 

-

“i wish she noticed me. it was like, after first year, the uraraka i knew just vanished.” 

you nodded. you and midoriya were wandering the streets, cool air brushing down your neck and on your face as cars passed. 

“uraraka was so sweet, but she lost feelings so fast and...ugh.” midoriya ran a hand through his hair, ruffling his curls. “i’m still a bit...baffled. i know people change, but she and kacchan both switched up so fast.” 

“i don’t want to say they’re jackasses, but they’re kind of jackasses.” 

izuku rubbed your shoulder as you leaned on him while the two of you walked. “don’t say that.” 

“sorry,” you breathed. 

“no more being sorry. being sorry all the time leads to shit like this.” 

you chuckled. “yeah, it does.” you sniffed. “did i take you away from the party? you can go back if you want.” 

he shrugged. “’s all right. i don’t mind.” 

“do you want to be here or would you rather be in there?”

“out here with you. i can’t be there right now.” 

“me too.” 

- 

“let me guess.” 

you looked up and scoffed softly. 

“this was supposed to be your party?” 

you nodded. “my party, my groom. i’m not supposed to be crying at my party, am i?” 

your friend shook his head. “not at all. cheer up, y/n.” 

izuku slid down the wall, sitting beside you. he rested his arms on his knees, twisting open his own bottle of champagne. “you look like a mess.”

“and you look like you need anger management.” you smiled. 

he grinned back. “do i now?” 

“yeah, you do. you should have seen yourself sitting there. all alone, the one person drinking something that wasn’t the fifty-thousand yen drinks.” 

“54,795.75 yen, to be exact.” 

you raised an eyebrow. “you’re insane. you kidding me? why do you know that?” 

“i was the weird kid who took notes on everyone in the class. of course i would know this. i’m offended you think i wouldn’t.” 

you tilted your head back in laughter. “gosh, izuku.” 

“mhm.” 

there was a pause. comfortable silence filled the space, broken by you sigh after gulping down your drink. “so they’re gone?” 

“i’d rather not dwell on it.” 

“how old are we now?” 

izuku gave a breathy chuckle. “twenty-five.” 

you smiled. “really, now? and i thought i would be married by now.” 

“me too. ‘s a shame.” 

“how about, if we’re both still not married by the time we’re forty, we get married to each other, adopt three children and we become hot parents.” 

“three?” 

“yeah, we can have a mini hero agency.” 

“that’s horrifying. but i agree. having a mini hero agency would be pretty amazing.” 

“i’m glad you agree with me, izuku.” you brushed a curl from his eyes. 

“can’t wait until i’m forty,” he smirked. 

“me neither.” 

“maybe by then we would have forgotten all of this?” 

“we’ll be fighting a villain, and we get our memories erased, and then we fall in love because we wake up beside each other in the hospital. we’re both equally confused.” you peppered him with jokes. “it’s a journey we will go on together.” 

“can’t wait until my memory gets erased.” 

“do you wanna get out of here?”

izuku shook his head. “it’s their wedding. we can’t. we shouldn’t.” 

you gave him a silly look. 

“you’re always such trouble, y/n.” 

“if you hate it, then wipe that stupid grin off your face.” 

izuku’s features softened. “maybe i like it. but only sometimes.” he took your head and lead you out, leaving his drink behind while you took yours. 

a single tear rolled down your cheek. he didn’t erase all your pain, nor your feelings for bakugou. it wasn’t what you needed, no. 

you just needed a friend. a real one. one that wouldn’t steal your dream from you. and that’s what you knew you had right now. 

besides, things could happen in the future, right? 

you smiled, and let the cold air touch your skin. 

[kaaytea]

How about being the manager of Inarizaki, Nekoma, Seijoh and Shiratorizawa and how the boys would feel when they finally finally get a manager? :0

New Manager

⤷Includes: Nekoma, Inarizaki, Seijoh, Shiratorizawa

A/n: I haven't written for the HQ boys in a hot minute so I was sUper hyped for this! Thank you for the request, dear 💕

----------------------------------------------------------

Nekoma

Nekoma has been manager-less for so long that literally the entire team was dumbfounded when they spotted you chilling next to Nekomata

Like hello??? Who are you and what are you doing in their gym???

There's a good few seconds of silence when Nekomata introduces you

Despite being cats, they greatly resembled their Fukurodani rivals as they blinked back at you with big curious eyes

That is until Yamamoto slumps to his knees and starts tearing up, blabbering on about how they've been blessed with a manager while a quiet Fukunaga pats his back in an almost humouring manner

Yamamoto's out burst is what loosens up the team and they start making their way to introduce themselves to you

The first is Kuroo, who approaches you with a welcoming smirk which was quickly followed by a gentle smile from Kai and a reassuring pat on the back from Yaku

The first years are VERY eager to meet you! Lev and Inouka are bouncing around you spewing out questions to the point where Yaku has to kick them both and send them off to warm up

Sweet Shibayama very nervously bows at you and thanks you for taking care of the team (what a baby 🤧💕)

The entire team absolutely loves you by the end of your first day (yes even the aloof creature that is Kenma, though he'll never admit it)

Nekoma's inner team dynamic is very familial and you're immediately sucked into the little family vibes they got going on

The first years love to be around you! (Specifically Lev bc you're not as mean to him as everyone else)

The first years are always volunteering to help you carry equipment or water bottles

You once caught one of the jokes Fukunaga muttered during practice so now the two of you bounce little puns and jokes off of eachother to see who can get the other to laugh first (he is currently winning. although, you got him to tear up from laughing so hard once which you've been counting as 10 wins)

The third years tend to mother hen you a bit, specifically Yaku and Kuroo

Kuroo made it very clear to you that you're apart of the team even if you don't play on the court, so as captain it's his job to make sure all his players are ok (mentally, physically, socially, you name it! He's always looking out for you and is basically your big brother)

You and Yaku bond over the fact that you're both the unofficial team moms. The two of you are very organized and have a whole ass check list that you BOTH go over at least twice before the team leaves for a game or training camp

Kai is like your calm in the storm that is Nekoma. The two of you have had numerous conversations about anything from books to cafés and he's always willing to lend an ear if you need to rant

Kenma is a fairly distant person but he warms up to you when he notices how caring you are. He even let's you play his DS on the train rides to and from Nekoma

Inarizaki

You're a brave soul if you are willingly becoming the manager of Inarizaki

Kita is actually the one who asked if you wanted to be the teams manager

He saw you cleaning the board in a classroom during lunch break and was impressed by how well of a job you did

It doesn't matter if you said yes out of fear from Kita's blank stare or because you were genuinely interested bc now you're standing in the volleyball gym, clad in Inarizaki's signature maroon tracksuit

The team notices you instantly, particularly a certain blonde Miya

Before Kita even got a chance to introduce you to everyone, Atsumu had wandered over to you with a lazy smile tugging at his lips

Atsumu introduced himself and then started asking what you were doing here

"Are ya lost?" "Ya here to admire me?" "Ya dating one of the players?"

You didn't get a chance to answer his questions as Osamu lovingly threw a Volleyball at Atsumu, cutting off any moment you had to respond

The only problem was that Atsumu noticed the volleyball rOcketing towards him and scrambled out of the way like a startled cat, leaving the ball to hit you instead of its intended target

The silence that hung over the gym was deafening as the younger team members watched Kita and Aran rush over to assist your now bloody nose

Just as quick as it had started, the silence was broken by Atsumu yelling at his brother for hitting a helpless person in the face and the gym quickly descended into madness

Aran held a towel to your nose and gave you a few encouraging pats on the back as the both of you watched Kita chew out the twins (safe to say Kita was hard on them during practice)

Osamu approached you during a water break to apologize and, to the surprise of the entire team, gave you the extra pudding he had as a peace offering

Since that incident Osamu and Atsumu stopped throwing volleyballs at each other's heads (at least when you were around that is)

The team is also surprisingly protective of you

The glares people get at tournaments if they try to flirt with you are terrifying

You become pretty close with Suna as the both of you tend to sit back and watch Atsumu and Osamu fight (you tried to step in once but they literally only respond to Kita so it didn't do much)

Suna also pats you on the head whenever he passes you

(it's something he does to his little sister to show some form of affection/appreciation and now he does it to you for the very same reasons)

This goes with out saying, but the twins love you

Osamu still feels bad about the whole hitting you in the face thing so he always shares any snacks he's got on him with you

Atsumu truly just likes being babied by you

Any ounce of praise or happy smiles directed at him has him acting like a puppy

(does 'Tsumu have a tiny crush on you? Yep he totally does!)

Kita and Aran are absolute sweethearts!! They are both very grateful for all the work you put in and treat you to boba every other week as a thank you :))

Seijoh

It was a new school year and you decided to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit

What better way to do that then be a manager for a sports team!

Apparently one of your classmates let it slip that you were looking to be a manager for a sports team because you were approached by a very buff and very attractive guy a few days after asking if you'd be interested in helping the volleyball team

You happily agreed to do a trial day that afternoon, to which the player, who you now know as Iwaizumi-san, breathed a sigh of relief and said he'd pick you up after school to take you to the gym

So the school day is over, Iwaizumi meets you outside your classroom and you're off!

As you walk to the gym he fills you in on some of the tasks the manager would have to do

The job didn't sound that terrible so you were a bit confused as to why Iwaizumi was having such a hard time finding a manager

"Let's just say that the applicants were more interested in staring at our captain than the actual job." He had told you

Ok so first unofficial rule....don't stare at the Seijoh volleyball team's captain? A bit odd but who were you to judge, maybe the guy was shy and didn't like attention

Your thoughts were cut off by the crisp slap! Of a ball hitting the floor followed by a few short yells from the players littered across the court

Your attention was then caught by the sensation of someone draping their arm over your shoulders and a tangy apple smell invading your senses

"Oh? I didn't know you were dating someone, Iwa-chan~"

Iwaizumi shoved the brunette off of you and quickly explained that you were just here to test out being the manager for the day

The player's eyes lit up and he turned to you with a bubbly smile, introducing himself as Seijoh's captain, Oikawa Tooru

Ah, Captain.... Now you knew why they were having trouble finding someone who didn't stare

Your first day went fairly smooth, just a few blunders that were quickly forgotten by the team after Oikawa cheerfully told you: "Everyone has to start somewhere, (y/n)-chan!"

After the first week you had to admit that the Aoba Johsai volleyball team were quickly becoming some of your best friends, you all fit together like a dysfunctional family

Makki, Mattsun, and Iwa would always agree/praise you when you joined in one the daily Oikawa roast session

Oikawa (when he wasn't pouting about how "mean" you are to him) was fairly sweet to you

He spent the first month helping you learn the rules about volleyball and explaining the lingo the team often used during plays

Although, he does jokingly flirt with you about 40 thousand times a week so...

Kindaichi is a nervous wreak around you the first few weeks. Eventually his nervous demeanor melts away. Now he goes to you whenever he needs someone to toss the ball up for him so he can practice his spikes

Kunimi likes you simply because you let him get away with napping during water breaks

Kyotani acts like you annoy him but if anyone made you cry or hurt you in some way he would burn the entire gym down in a heartbeat

Did I mention that Seijoh are also very protective of you?

When at tournaments they travel in a small pack with you in the middle to reduce the chances of you getting hit on

Shiratorizawa

Shiratorizawa is a very nice and prestigious school so you thought why not participate in an extracurricular that would be beneficial for, not only your resume, but you yourself as well!

Out of all the clubs you chose volleyball which you're starting to regret a bit since one of your friends informed you that the team is a powerhouse school

Which means you can't make a bad impression or silly mistakes.....at all

That entire philosophy is thrown oUt the window on your second day as the official manager

You somehow managed to trip over your own feet and slam into a cart full of spare balls AND spill the water bottles you were carrying all over yourself

You were hoping that the team, by some miraculous reason, didn't notice but the stifled giggles from a certain red head said otherwise

You would give anything for the ground to just swallow you up and disappear forever

But then you saw a pair of gym shoes standing in front of you and when you looked up you were met with THE Ushijima Wakatoshi, captain and ace of shiratorizawa, offering you help to stand up

You hadn't seen Ushijima be more than a stoic and intimidating guy so you were even more surprised when he gave one of his spare shirts to change into now that you had spilt water on yourself

I guess you could say your little clumsy episode was what broke the ice for you and the team

Tendou loves talking with you

You're an interesting person to him and he finds great pleasure in teasing you (in his own words it's "out of love")

Ushijima ended up not being as intimidating as you originally pegged him to be. Instead, he was just a quiet guy who surprisingly could say some pretty funny things (whether or not he intended it to be funny)

Goshiki just loves you. Period.

You praise him and give him head pats so he couldn't be happier!

Tendou and Shirabu tease him all the time about how he has a case of puppy love for you (which Goshiki aggRessively denies no matter how red his face is)

Semi is someone who is grateful for your assistance with the team and does his very best to get Tendou out of your hair when you're trying to do your manager work. He also shares his headphones with you on long bus rides so you can listen to music together!

[hyunsuks-beanie]

It'll Always Be You

Lee Felix × reader; angst, but with a fluffy ending; 2923 words; lovers to exes and back

A/N So Felix has me feeling all sorts of things today, bc of how good he looked during the performance. So here's a scenario for our Sunshine!

"Here's your order and have a nice day," you smile to the female customer in front of you, before handing a pack of cookies to her child. Once the leave, you let out a sigh and look at your best friend who's cleaning the counter next to you. "All done for today!," you exclaim, to which your friend looks up and smiles, before taking off and folding her apron. "So, what are your plans for tonight?," she asks, making you give her a knowing look. She to her eyes before saying, "How long are you gonna stay cooped up inside your house? The break up was two years ago for heaven's sake, you need to start living your life again." "Hey, I am living my life, it's just that, unlike you, I am not interested in going out and meeting new people every day. I meet enough strangers while working here, so there's no need to go clubbing daily," you shrug.

When all she does in reply is pout, you chuckle and say, "Okay, how about we go for a movie tomorrow? My treat." Her face lights up at that, and she gives you a tight hug before saying, "I really want to meet your ex once though, just so I can break his nose." You giggle "Oh he's dead and gone."

Oh, if only you knew.

Once you send your friend off, you start tidying up your little bakery up. This was the place that helped you get over your breakup, which had been messy to say the least. You had immersed yourself fully in your work, because you knew it was one thing that would never hurt you or break your trust.

You sigh lovingly at the memories of setting up and running your bakery, turning your back against the front door. And just as you are reminiscing you hear the door open, causing you to turn. The moment you do so, however, you regret it, because standing there, staring at you wide-eyed, is your ex, otherwise known as Stray Kids' Lee Felix. You both continue to stare at each other for a while, before he finally breaks the silence (and your trance) by whispering, "Y/N."

You clear your throat, and say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the day." He rushes to the and hurriedly replies, "Please, it's rather urgent. My friend Hyunjin is really craving some blueberry pie, and he refuses fo join practice before I bring him what he wants." "I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You can come back tomorrow though," you say, not looking into his eyes. "Please Y/N, Chan hyung is getting really angry, he's gonna ground me along with Hyunjin," Felix reasons, and you find yourself giving in to his pleading eyes and pouty lips.

"Fine, wait a minute," you say, making him crack a smile. Boy have you missed that smile of his, you think, before mentally slapping yourself for still not being able to resist him, even though he broke your heart to pieces when he broke up with you over the phone two years ago, telling you that he could no longer do long distance with you being all the way in Australia. It wasn't the breakup that hurt you though, it was the fact that he had found someone better and closer to him, or so he said.

Little did you know, though, that the company had he had never really found anyone else, that he didn't want to find anyone else. The company had made him lie to you when they came to know he was secretly dating. He tried to put up a fight, but the company started threatening him about the group facing consequences. He knew you'd see right through him if he told you the truth, so he had to lie to you in order to make you hate him, just so you could move on in life. He meant well, but he never knew he hurt you so bad that you'd give up on dating and love altogether.

"Here you go," you say while handing him his parcel. He thanks you, while contemplating if he should make small talk. Mustering up the courage, he asks, "How have you been?", while looking down. "Fine," you reply, "Congrats on the comeback." His head snaps up at that, as he says, "I didn't know you knew I had a comeback," "It was all over the news, Felix. Stray Kids are really making it big," you swallow before adding, "Your partner must be really proud of you," complete with a fake smile plastered on your face.

Felix winces at your words, not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles with, "How long have you been running this bakery?" "Since about a month after we broke up." When he gives you a confused expression, you sigh and add, "I was kinda already about to move to Seoul when you told me that you had found someone else. I was gonna surprise you, but you ended up surprising me instead."

"Y/N, I-I never knew. I'm so sorry, I-," he says, but you cut him off. "I-I t-think you should leave," you say, with tears threatening to spill. "Let me explain, please. I swear I'll come clean, please, just give me a chance." "No Felix, I can't give you any chance, you blew it up when you hurt me so bad that it made scared of ever loving again. Please.....j-just go," you say, shutting your eyes close. Dejected, he turns around to leave, but not before saying, "I'm sorry," one more time. Once he leaves, you sink down to the floor, crying. "Why did you have to ruin me so bad?," You whisper.

You don't, however, notice that just outside the door, Felix too, is crying hysterically as he gets into his car.

Upon reaching the JYP building, Felix rushes to the washroom to try and dry his eyes and hide any signs that he's been crying. "I still love you. I never stopped, but gosh, why did I have to be such an idiot to let you go? And that too, in the worst way possible?," he says to his reflection in the mirror, thinking back to your broken expression. Slamming his fist against the sink, he curses at himself.

Once he's finally sobered up a little, Felix goes back to the practice room to give Hyunjin his pie. Though he has half a mind to just call in sick and go home and weep, he knows the group needs him. "Here you go, Hyun," he forces a smile onto his face when Hyunjin thanks him. Chan notices his slumped shoulders, but shrugs it off as tiredness. "Now that everyone is satisfied, can we get back to practice?," he asks. Once all the boys agree, rehearsals begin again, but Felix can't find it in himself to focus. He keeps making mistakes, which finally results in Chan stopping the music, grabbing his hand, and taking him out the practice room and to his studio.

"What is it, Lix? You've been distracted ever since you came back from the bakery. Come on, I know something is bothering you, it isn't like you to lose focus. Tell me what it is," Chan says, sternly but gently, his concern for the younger boy evident. "It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired," Felix tries to evade the question, but Chan presses on. "I'm not buying that, and I'm not gonna have you distracted during performances or practices, either. I can't risk you injuring yourself or any of the boys, so I'm saying again. Spit. It. Out. Leader's orders."

Felix sighs, running a hand through his hair. After a pause, he finally says, "I saw Y/N today. The bakery, it is owned by them." Chan's eyes go wide at this, since he's the only one who knows the circumstances under which you both broke up, and is also the only one who knows about how much Felix regrets letting you go, in the worst possible way. "What happened? Were they....rude to you? Or did they do something?" "What? No hyung, they were nothing but nice to me. We made small talk, and they told me that they were planning to surprise me by moving to Seoul, when I broke up with them. I hurt them so bad that they are scared of ever loving again," Felix says, taking shaky breaths between sentences as tears welled up in his eyes again.

"I messed up so bad hyung, you know I still love them. They're the nicest, most perfect, most lovable person I've ever known, and I damaged them so badly, gosh I feel so guilty," he breaks down again, causing Chan to wrap his arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry on. Once Felix calms down, Chan says, "You know what you have to do now, right?" "What do you mean?"

"You say you still love them. You say you're guilty. But instead of telling these things to me, you need to tell this to them. Apologize to them, tell them the whole story. Tell them there was never anyone else, and that it's always been them. You didn't fight for them back then, because you were worried for us. But you can fight for them now, because we got your back. Win them back, Lix. Make up for your mistake."

"B-but hyung, why would they ever want to take me back again? I've been nothing but a jerk to them." "Well, in that case, you can't blame them. But they deserve to at least know the truth. They deserve to know that your intentions were not wrong. If they choose to walk away after that, they will at least have had gotten closure. Who knows, it might help them muster the courage to go out and love again. You owe this to them, Lix."

Chan succeeded in knocking some sense into Felix, as the next day, the younger boy found himself in front of your bakery, preparing a long speech explaining why he did what he did to you. He's so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice your best friend walk out the bakery and stand next to him. "Uhm, are you okay?," she asks, surprising him. "O-oh, uh-uhm, yeah," says Felix, while noticing her uniform, that's identical to yours. "Do you work with Y/N?" "Yeah, we're friends and partners, and on most days, we work together. But they called in sick today, and told me they'd cover the evening shift. How do you know them though?"

To this, Felix finds himself at a loss for words, but he figures if he's gonna come clean to you, he needs an ally. And what better person than your best friend? So he takes down his mask slightly, making your friend gasp in response. "You Felix from Stray Kids! What are you doing here?" "I-I came here to meet Y/N. We broke up two years ago due to a mistake I made, but I need to explain things to them. They deserve to know the truth." He looks up to see your friend glaring at him, as she says, "That was you? You broke my best friend's heart? How could you? I'm not letting you anywhere near them, you jerk"

"Please, just give me 5 minutes, and I'll explain everything to you. Then you can decide if I deserve one more chance." When your friend doesn't say anything, Felix launches into his own version of things, explaining himself and his actions. Once he's done, your friend is still glaring at him, but he notices a smile tugging at her lips.

"You have been nothing but a complete and utter jerk to them. And honestly, you deserve to get your ass kicked by them. But I know that they still love you, and the way you are repenting what you did tells me that you love them too. So I give you my blessing. They'll be here in the evening at 6, be here before then." Felix hugs her super tight at that, with the biggest smile plastered on his face while thanking her. She adds, "But if you hurt them again, I swear I'm gonna murder you with my own two hands." "It won't come to that, I promise."

Felix arrives at the bakery at 10 minutes to six, and the moment he enters, your friend shoves him into the kitchen, asking him to stay there till you come. Once she leaves, he starts pacing up and down, raking his hand nervously through his hair. He tries to prepare what he is going to say, but gives up when he realizes that it would all go out the window when he sees you.

Meanwhile, the moment you step inside the bakery, your friend pretends to be busy setting stuff up on the counter, and asks you to bring in some things from the kitchen. Unassuming, you start walking towards the kitchen doors, when she notices your swollen eyes and exclaimed "Babe, have you been crying?" You muster up a fake smile and tell him that it's just you not feeling well, but unknown to you, Felix heard your friend, and guilt washes over him again. But he doesn't have time to wallow in it, as soon after, you step in.

The way your expression morphs into one of pure sadness breaks his heart into a million pieces, and when you say, "What more do you want from me?" while holding back tears, it takes everything in him to stop from falling to his knees and begging forgiveness. He tries to speak, but you hold up a finger, indicating you aren't finished. "Now that you've found me again, was it not enough for you to have me admit that what you did to me made me stop believing in love? Do you even want to rub it in my face by telling me how happy your are with your partner? If that is so, then please, just get lost, I'm begging you."

Tears are now streaming down your face, and Felix finds himself saying, "Just please. Let me explain. You deserve to know the truth and my feelings and intentions. If after that, you want me to leave, I swear, you will never have to see me again." You can't look at him, but when you don't reply, he says, "I promise that this is the real truth behind what I did. Please hear me out. I lied when I said I had found someone else. There is no 'someone else,' and there never will be one. The only person I've loved, the only person I still love, is you. It'll always be you."

"The company made me break up with you, and threatened me that the group will face consequences if I didn't do as they had asked. I that that if I outright told you the real reason, it would hurt you. And so, I decided to lie to you in order to make you hate me, even if it broke my heart. But never did I ever think that it would damage you so badly, and I know I've been stupid, but I can't help but ask for you to forgive me, and give me one last chance. I know I've been a total jerk to you, and even now, I'm being nothing but selfish, but I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I'll walk away forever. But you deserved to get closure, and I hope that if you do choose to give up on me, you will now be able to love again, and trust again."

By the time he stops talking, the both of you are sobbing hard. You ask him, "Are you done?" When he nods, you say, "You say that you will walk away if I choose to give up on you. But do you really think I'll be able to give up on you? If I couldn't stop loving you even when you broke up with me in the cruelest way possible, what makes you think I'll stop loving you now that I know that you went through the same pain as me? You knew what the truth was, and you still had to hide it. I can only imagine how hurtful that must have been, Felix. I hate myself for believing your stupid lie, for ever doubting the love you had for me. I'm sorry, and I forgive you."

Felix looks up at you, surprised. It takes him some time to process your words, and when he does, he asks you, "What does that mean....for us?" To this, you shyly reply, "Well, I never stopped loving you, and if you didn't either, then should we give us another try?" Felix smiles the brightest he has in ages, as he slowly comes closer to you. Cupping your face, he wipes off your tears, as you proceed to do the same. "I promise I'll never let you go again," he says softly. You giggle and say, "You'd do well to keep that promise," before biting your lip.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?," he asks. You nod in response, causing him to gently place his lips on yours. And for the first time in a while, you feel like you're home.