#also I am bad at explaining but this series is also very hard to explain lmao
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supermarketcrush ¡ 2 years ago
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alright i finally finished a little life
#SPOILERS BELOW ummmm#i havent cried so hard reading a book in a very long time lmao#i did predict willem falling in love with jude and jude commiting suicide#but i did not forsee willem dying first which was so torture and anguish#i do wish jb's meth addiction and homosexuality/specifically jude's was discussed a little bit more#i understand not really writing about jb because he isnt the main character but#why was yanagihara so deliberately avoidant of discussing homosexuality explicitly. ?#like you will talk about their careers their racial identities relationships graphic self harm scenes but that? and i cant help#but think that is somehow the line she wont cross because it's unjustifiable to relate to it somehow#like queerness is the one unrelatable unwritable subject matter....??? am i going insane#also. this book has awakened my mind to so many people who are.........bad at reading#its “”“fanbase”“” is almost like a mockery of the book itself i cant explain it but sometimes it is so painful to look at#i dont agree with people who say it's yanagihara exploiting trauma she hasnt personally experienced bc to only be able to#write abt personal experiences is a miserable and very limiting way to write#which is why in that same vien i wish she wrote more on queerness but okay whatever i digress#jude st francis reminds me of franics abernathy........it's always those fucking franics boys#and now i kind of want to reread the secret history but i also want to take a break to read smth lighter#but the only books i have at home rn is the red dragon series. is red dragon a 'lighter' read than a little life? discuss#rant over!#🫀
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bananayuyu ¡ 3 months ago
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Cabin Fever [part 2]
Pairing: Yunho x f reader
Genre: fluff and smut
Word count: 9.7k
Summary: The third day of your trip brings a storm, and even more cramps. You try to navigate the day the best you can, but really you just need to be taken care of, in the way it matters most.
Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, period sex, use of a condom, reader has really bad cramps again, some mxm (Seonghwa and Hongjoong)
A/n: I have had such a fun time writing this part, thank you all for the response on part 1! I am falling in love with this cozy world and wish I could live in it for real. Thank you so much to the anon who requested a part 2! I hope you all enjoy <3
Taglist: @pautiny27 @kierraperkins3 @yoonjikim @luvbit3z @pancake-freckle
I'm definitely planning on continuing the series for a while so if you want to be tagged for upcoming parts, let me know!
You can read part 3 here!
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You stretch over to find your phone, unhooking it from its charging cable. The light is dim through the window, the room looks almost hazy. Squinting at the screen, you see a missed text from Seonghwa asking if you're doing okay, sent an hour ago.
"It's almost 11:30, we should really get up," you yawn, poking Yunho in the ribs to get his attention. He has once again wrapped himself around you tightly, face buried in your hair, and you're not sure if he's even awake.
"No," he groans, his voice low and gravely. It send a shudder through you, and all of the feelings from last night surface again. You can already feel the pains starting in your lower abdomen, the muscles cramping. You wish it could be night already and he could be making you feel good again.
"We can't just stay in here all day," you say, much as you sort of want to. But you also don't want to waste a day of your time with all of your other friends. Yunho just groans, not wanting to agree with you but knowing you're right. He's just so asleep still, so in the haze of sleeping next to you. He really just wants to stay like this, forever.
"Okay, well, I really have to pee," you say, giggling, peeling yourself off of him. He lets out a small sound of disappointment but doesn't stop you. You turn around and see his tousled hair, his puffy, sleepy eyes. You lean down and place a quick kiss on his temple before making your way to the bathroom, another pad in hand.
The cramps hit you again when you're sat on the toilet, and you double over, feeling light-headed. It doesn't seem like you're bleeding quite as hard as yesterday but you still feel awful, despite all of the restful sleep you got. You gingerly clean yourself up, holding onto the counter as you stand, pausing for a moment so you don't pass out. You sigh, trying not to feel the frustration. But it's hard not to.
When you open the door you are met with Yunho, his messy hair now covered up by his hoodie, his eyes still very sleepy.
"Sorry for taking so long," you say, assuming he really needed to pee. You aren't paying attention, the cramps overwhelming you.
"Hey, look," he says as you start walking past. When you do finally look back you see that he's brought you pain meds and a glass of water. Your face softens immediately.
"Oh, thank you," you say, taking them immediately.
"Are they bad today?" he asks, a hand on your cheek. You just nod. "Go lay down then."
"I wanna hang out with everyone, though," you pout, looking at the floor.
"Well, go lay in the living room then," he suggests.
"Okay," you mumble, heading that way with your glass of water in hand. He watches you walk away, an obvious discomfort and weakness in your body, and it makes his chest hurt. When you were friends in high school he really only saw you on your good days, when you were feeling okay. It wasn't until living with you that he really saw the worst of everything, the truth of your health issues. You never spoke of them often, never truly explained it to him. Living together had forced you to, and when he showed himself to be genuinely good at caring for you, you'd let him in a bit more. He knew you didn't like the idea of people seeing you at your sickest. He never gave much thought to the idea when he was younger, that some people's bodies are wracked with issues from the start, that they never get to know what it's like to be able to rely on your body to carry you through everything. You were so young; though you were the same age as most of the rest of the friend group, you'd always been seen as the baby. He certainly always thought of you as small, in need of protection. He didn't want to tell you that, because he knew you'd hate the idea. It didn't help that you were smarter than most of them, when it came to the practical and academic aspects of life. You were far more mature in many ways. But they had the healthy bodies; they were the ones who were able to move out at eighteen, to become financially independent. It would take you many more years, and two very supportive friends to live with you, before you could move out.
When you make it to the living room you plop down next to Ari and San, snuggling under a blanket. The cabin was colder than you expected, the sky outside still dark.
"Has it been like that all morning?" you ask Ari, staring out the window.
"It was actually raining for a while earlier, it just stopped maybe thirty minutes ago."
"Oh really? No wonder I slept in so long," you reply, sighing into the warmth of your blanket.
"Are you doing okay?" she asks.
"Yeah, but I still feel like crap," you say, frowning. Sipping your water you try to relax, try to get your mind away from how terrible your lower abdomen feels.
"Do you need any pain meds?" she asks you, her face showing obvious concern. Even San is turned towards you and looking worried.
"No, no, I just took some. Thank you though," you respond, squeezing her hand. "I should probably eat something though, I'm starving."
"I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are making some lunch, I'll go get you some," San replies, standing up.
"Oh, you don't have to," you start, taken aback by the kindness of this almost total stranger. But he walks that way anyway, not stopping at your words.
"He's so freaking nice, what the hell," you say to Ari.
"I know," she laughs, shaking her head. "I almost can't believe it's real sometimes."
"Men just aren't usually like that," you say, and right then Yunho crosses the room, making brief eye contact with you. He heads towards the kitchen, looking like his mind is set on something.
"The guys in our friend group are," she replies.
"Well, that's true. I guess I should say, straight men aren't usually like that, especially if they aren't romantically interested in you," you clarify. "At least not in my experience in the world, and I barely interact with men or go out in public."
"I know, the amount of horrifying behavior I saw at college is crazy. And even now still at my work. I know so many people tried to warn me to be careful around men when I was growing up, but I did not realize just how scary it would be to be in the adult world and have a uterus," she replies. She looks at you, earnestly; how nice it is to have another girl in your group, who understands what it is to exist in the world in your bodies.
"Uteruses should be banned," you say, placing a hand on your stomach. "This thing needs to get the hell out of my body."
Ari laughs, the bright sound raising your spirits. "I would have taken it out for you myself years ago, if I could," she laughs, resting her head on your shoulder.
"What just, reached up inside and like, pulled it out?" you laugh.
"Girl, your mind goes to the strangest places. Now I can't get that visual out of my head," she laughs, a hand coming to rest over her eyes.
"I wish I could do it myself," you reply, "just like-" you reach your hand down and spread your legs, miming the action; you both break into giggles.
"What was that?" Yunho asks as he sits down next to you, a cup of tea in hand. He holds it out towards you, careful to hand you the handle so you don't burn your hands.
"Y/n just being her usual self," Ari replied, still laughing. Yunho just looked confused, sipping at his own cup of coffee.
"I was showing her how I'd remove my uterus, if I could. I wish someone could just reach up in there and take it out," you clarify.
"You should make Yunho do it, he's got big hands," she says.
"Ari!" you shriek, crumpling into a heap of laughter with her. Yunho's ears go red, and he clears his throat to try to calm himself.
"You two are something else," he says, turning away, looking for anyone else to make conversation with.
"Wait, did Yunho make you that cup of tea?" Ari asked you, and at the mention of his name his attention stayed put.
"Yeah," you reply, not sure why she's interested. "He makes me and Hwa tea and coffee like all the time."
"That's sweet. See, we're so lucky to have these boys. He's the perfect example of a straight man who has no romantic interest in you, but still takes care of you."
You know she means it earnestly, from the way a small smile creeps onto her lips, making her eyes crinkle at the corners. But you and Yunho both stop dead in your tracks, your throats simultaneously going dry.
"Yeah, true," you say, trying to be normal. Like this morning, when Seonghwa found you in bed together. The words come out rough and you try to swallow, but it hurts and your eyes squeeze shut for a moment. You take another sip of your tea, trying to appear calm.
"What, Yunho, did I say something weird?" Ari asks, and you look over to see his stony face, his eyes looking almost distant. Something about it makes your heart drop, for a moment, and you don't know why. Something in you begs for him to act normal too, but you realize there's no point. No point in pretending like nothing happened, even if you don't know what it means.
"I need to tell you something," you whisper to Ari, your face just inches from her ear. She leans even closer, clearly excited by your tone. You drop your volume even lower, putting your hand over your mouth to block the sound from going anywhere else. "Last night he like, fingered me."
"What?!" she asks in a whisper, her eyes going wide with excitement.
"Shh, please keep your face normal," you beg her, knowing that isn't possibly going to happen. But you don't want everyone to find out this very second, you'd like it to stay between the two of you. Ari does her best to still her face, knowing you don't want to draw attention. At least it's fairly normal, for the two of you to share secrets. The boys have always respected when you two say something is just for your ears.
"Yeah I was like, hurting last night and he like, made me feel better," you whisper, you both breaking out into giggles.
"Girl," she says, clearly wanting you to continue.
"I'll tell you everything once there's not like twenty people in the room with us," you say, a goofy smile not leaving your face.
"Aww," she says poking your cheek, and you swat her hand away, jokingly rolling your eyes. Ari keeps looking between the two of you, observing the way his body seems drawn towards you even as he sits a bit away, his legs stretching out to meet yours. She has so many questions, seeing as you'd never mentioned having a crush on him. His crush on you had been obvious to her for a while, but she'd never really mentioned it. It always seemed that people in the group had crushes from time to time, due to everyone's closeness. But sometimes they passed, sometimes they came to nothing. It was one of the reasons your group of friends had stayed close for so long; no one really forced closeness or forced information out of one another. Sometimes she felt like it made you less close than you could be. But she knew it also meant no one felt stepped on or smothered.
***
After lunch was served the weather had cleared a bit, and Jongho suggested that everyone play a game of basketball out on the small court to the south of the cabin. Not one of you had plans for the day, and with the way the weather was behaving that was definitely a good thing. You and Ari laid on the couch together, barely overhearing the conversation unfolding. You knew even if you wanted to you couldn't go and play, and the warmth of the couch was a lifesaver against the damp coolness in the air. The rain was not unusual for the time of year, but you swore it never had been this cold during your cabin trips.
"Will you stay inside with me?" you asked her.
"Of course. I wouldn't leave you alone in here. Also, I don't really feel like getting hurt today. You know how competitive they all get," she laughs, holding up her arm and showing you a large cut on the underside.
"My god, what's that from?" you ask.
"Wooyoung pushed me when we were playing waterpolo by the falls, and I scraped my arm on one of the rocks."
"Of course it was him," you chuckle, taking a closer look. "Did you wash it out yesterday?"
"It's not really that deep, but yeah. I'm sure it'll heal quick. I just really don't feel like playing basketball on a wet, slick court."
"And it's so cold, I don't know why they feel like going outside."
"It's not that cold," she says, looking at you confused.
"Wait, really?" you ask. She shakes her head. "Ok well for some reason, I'm freezing."
"One sec," she says, getting up and taking a blanket from the other side of the bed. "Y/n is cold," she says to the group, pointing to you all curled up in your one blanket. Everyone grabs their remaining blankets and one by one, layer them on you.
"This is too much," you whine, but you can't deny you like the attention. You really appreciate the way they all joke around with you; it always makes you feel better.
When all of the boys headed out to play, you finally got a chance to tell Ari everything.
"Your periods are still that bad?" Ari asks you when you tell her how you were feeling the previous night. "You hardly ever mention it anymore."
"It's just, so normal at this point. I guess. I don't know, you know it isn't fun to talk about. Plus this one really has been extra bad. I haven't had one this bad in a while," you respond.
"Well I'm glad he was there to comfort you. You know you could have told everyone how you were feeling yesterday. You didn't have to pretend like you were fine at dinner."
"I don't know, Wooyoung's cousins are here and so is San, I don't really know any of them," you say.
"Let me assure you, San would not care. And I doubt Woo's cousins would either, I mean we've been around them before, they seem very kind. He wouldn't bring them around you if he thought they'd be weird about something as simple as that. I know Woo acts like he doesn't give a shit about anything, but he really cares about you. I overheard him asking Seonghwa this morning how you've been doing," she replies. You look at her tenderly, thankful she shared it with you. As much as you wish Wooyoung would just ask you, you know it's not his way. It warms your heart to know he cares.
"So, how long have you liked Yunho then?" she asks you.
"Dude, I literally don't know. I don't even know what I feel right now," you sigh, shaking your head at her. "I mean, he was really just helping ease my cramps, cause I basically begged him too. And I get fucking horny on my period, I don't know." You put your head in your hands. "I don't even know what words were coming out of my mouth last night."
"So is it just a sexual thing then?" she asks.
"I'm assuming that's how he feels, I mean he's never said anything to the contrary."
"No, I mean for you," she clarifies.
"I.. I don't know. I don't hook up with people, but he's like, one of my best friends, I-" you cut yourself off with a groan, head spinning. "I'm gonna develop feeling for him and he's not gonna feel the same and we live together and it's gonna be a fucking mess," you blurt out, your mind racing out of control.
"Y/n, that man loves you," Ari says, squeezing your shoulder.
"I know Ari, I'm not saying he'd be an asshole about it. But it would still be so awkward for me, and if you love someone platonically that doesn't just change overni-"
"No, he's in love with you," she cuts you off.
"He's said those words to you?" you ask her, incredulous.
"No, but it's obvious to anyone with eyes," she says. You squint questioningly in her direction, feeling like she's just saying what she thinks you want to hear. "Dude I'm serious, Seonghwa has told me about it, the way he is around you. If he's not in love with you then I don't know what it could be."
"He's dated like multiple people since we've known him though, that doesn't make sense," you reply.
"Not since moving in with you," she says. "Has he ever brought any girls over to hang out with? Or to hook up?"
"No," you say, head still spinning.
"That's not because of like, a house rule or something, right?"
"No, we talked about it, we're all okay with bringing people over. Hwa brings over guys sometimes. Well he did when we first moved in, not really this past year."
"But Yunho never has?" she asks again.
You shake your head. "That doesn't mean anything, Ari. He's barely even spoken to me this morning, anyway. He doesn't seem like he's in love. Seems like normal Yunho to me."
"He brought you tea," she says, smirking.
"Oh my god, he always does that," you say, rolling your eyes and also smiling. "I- I don't know how to feel."
"Would you do it again?" she asks. You nod. "Do you like, really really want to do it again?" she continues, making you laugh.
"Yeah," you say, hiding your face in your hands.
"Well, at least you know that. Don't stress about it," she says. "It can just be a fun little thing, it doesn't have to be life changing."
You sigh, soaking in her words. You know what she's saying is absolutely right; it's the kind of advice you'd probably be giving her if the tables were turned. But something about your night with Yunho meaning so little doesn't sit right with you.
"Can you please not tell anyone, not even San? For right now, I don't know what Yunho wants to say," you plead.
"Of course, you don't have to worry about that. I don't share things with San just cause he's my boyfriend, I don't think that's fair to my friends," she responds, hugging you.
"I'm so thankful you're here," you say, sighing comfortingly into her embrace.
"Me too. I love them all but they can be a lot," she says, and you both chuckle. Tucked into your layers of blankets you feel warm and cozy, and your chest feels lighter having told someone about your previous night.
***
Close to 3pm, the storm rolls back in to the area; the winds pick up, the clouds darken, and suddenly rain is pouring down. It sounds like the roof of the cabin is being repeatedly pelted with golfballs, the dull sound surprisingly loud. Suddenly all of the boys are sprinting back inside, their wet shoes squeaking on the tile of the kitchen floor. All of them are thoroughly soaked, their hair sticking to their foreheads, clothes stuck to their bodies. They tumble in one after the other, Wooyoung the last to make it in, and you hear his scream all the way from outside. When they finally get inside they all start undressing, their clothes heavy and cold.
"Didn't realize we were staying at a strip club," Ari says, making you laugh. You know they're just uncomfortable, but you can't help but stare at Yunho as he disrobes, his light blue shirt dripping on him as he heaves it over his head. You don't really see him shirtless like this, even though you live together. He's not one for walking around like that. You'd forgotten how broad he really was, how strong his shoulders are. As he goes to ring out his shirt in the sink you see his tricep flex, and the smooth muscles of his back as well. He's tall and lanky, but you'd forgotten just how muscular he was too.
"You're kind of gawking, just so you know," Ari whispers in your ear, making you jump.
"Oh my god, I'm gross," you groan, burrowing your head in her shoulder.
"No not gross, not gross at all. Fuck, every time San is shirtless I want him to fuck me immediately." You glance over at Ari's boyfriend, already anticipating the muscles you're about to see. You could tell even when he was clothed how built he was.
"How often is at the gym?" you ask.
"Basically every day. He can like, easily pick me up and throw me around. And I'm not exactly the lightest person in the world."
"If that's not everyone's dream," you say, giggling.
"Can't Yunho carry you?" she asks.
"Yeah but I'm basically like a sickly little worm, it's not that hard. Even Hwa can lift me," you laugh,
"Okay, well, he can still lift you. And how big is your height difference?"
You just smile at her question, knowing you are blushing.
"God, if we aren't the most simple of women," she laughs.
"No no, I'll have you know I'm very full of logic and feminism and I do not care about muscles, or height, or anything of the sort. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought about how tall he is in comparison to me and gotten all hot and bothered about it," you joke, your blush having moved to your cheeks too.
"So you have thought about him like that!" she exclaims.
"Keep it down!" you chide, when you see Seonghwa shoot a look over at the two of you.
"Sorry, sorry," she laughs, pouting at you. "What are you looking at?" she says to Seonghwa, who rolls his eyes.
***
After the boys had changed and dried off, Wooyoung insisted that everyone watched a scary movie. You were all stuck inside, and everyone had already spent the morning talking and catching up.
"'It matches the vibe of the storm," he said. "It'll be so fun," he laughed, smirking in your direction. He knew how you couldn't handle jump scares and didn't like gore. He promised you the movie he'd selected didn't have either.
"It's more like, a psychological thriller, you know? It's really fun. Set in a cabin in the woods too."
"Okay, fine," you replied, hoping he was telling the truth.
He was, in fact, lying. You found that out about twenty minutes later.
The loud bang made you jump, causing you to launch sideways and grab onto the closest thing to you. It happened to be Yunho's arm.
When everyone sat down, Yunho sat himself right next to you, but didn't say a word. Everyone was chatting, the room filled with chaos as they came down from the adrenaline rush the storm had caused. Ari got up to sit with San and help him dry off, and when Yunho saw you sitting alone he was almost thankful. He didn't know why, but everything Ari had said earlier made him feel almost jumpy. He had seen the two of you giggling and whispering to each other, and felt like something was happening that he didn't understand. When he approached you your face looked distant, and he almost worried you didn't want him there, that you would have preferred her. He sat with his arm around the back of the couch behind you. But when you didn't lean into him at all, didn't seem comfortable with it, he pulled it back down to his side.
"Woo, you promised me!" you whisper yelled after you jumped, your grip on Yunho so strong it almost hurt. You felt so embarrassed at how easily scared you were.
"That wasn't even a jump scare, just a loud sound," Yunho said, and the room chuckled. You frowned, pulling yourself away from him. You weren't sure why you were so sensitive, but what he said made you feel small. And not in a good way.
Everyone else's attention was back on the movie in a second, but Yunho couldn't stop looking at you and your sullen face.
"Hey, I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning ever so slightly towards you. "Come here," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders this time, gently pulling you towards him. You stuffed your head into his chest, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. You weren't sure if you even wanted his comfort. You completely tuned out the movie, closing your eyes. You mind raced with thoughts from the day, and you suddenly realized you hadn't had a chance to talk to Seonghwa. You had wanted to assure him of what was happening, because he lived with you both. You didn't want him worried that you and Yunho had been keeping something from him, sneaking around behind his back. But as you peaked around the room to find his face, you didn't see him anywhere. You felt confused, and exhausted, and suddenly realized how cold you were again. You tried to tuck yourself into the blankets more but it just wasn't enough, so finally you decided to go grab Yunho's hoodie from the library. Maybe one more layer would help.
You slowly crawl your way out of the room, careful not to block anyone's view of the TV. When you finally stand up you're at the edge of the very short hallway that leads to the library. As you stand you notice how dark the sky looks. This window faces out towards the fire pit, and sits where the cabin is directly under a few trees and your view is limited. Still, the view is beautiful. The rain has become more gentle now, and the soft sound soothes you as you look out across the land splattered with greenery. The plants, the trees, they're the reason you really like being out here. You hope that today's the last day you'll have to spend inside, nursing your body. Some movement in your periferral vision catches your eye, and you sweep your gaze back towards the fire pit and the ring of trees that surrounds it. Suddenly you realize why you couldn't find Seonghwa earlier.
Outside, on a lounging chair just to the left of the fire pit, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are kissing. They must have snuck out while the rest of you were occupied with the movie, you realize. You aren't sure how you missed them at first, but in the darkness of the storm and shadow of the trees they almost blended into the landscape. Seonghwa is sat against he back of the chair and Hongjoong is over him, a hand on Seonghwa's thigh. You see him move that hand to pull on Seonghwa's silky black hair, the kiss clearly passionate, heated. The rain patters down around them, but in the cover of the trees they don't look soaked. They certainly don't look bothered. You can't tell, really, from this far away. You shouldn't be trying to look that hard, anyway. You try to tell yourself that. But you're mesmerized, stuck to the spot. You feel overcome with how beautiful they both are.
Soon they're tugging at each other's shirts, and you can tell now from the way they take them off that they must pretty damp. In the struggle you see Hongjoong's muscular back and arms; Seonghwa's face is the picture of lust, his hands moving down quickly to reach inside Hongjoong's pants and start stroking him. They're kissing again, Seonghwa's lean chest heaving, Hongjoong grabbing his legs to wrap them around himself. Tangled together they look like a perfectly choreographed ballet, like they both know exactly where the other is headed. You see Hongjoong's hips start to buck, his mouth moving down to Seonghwa's ear, then neck, his iron grip on Seonghwa's thigh leaving a mark you can see all the way from the window. Seeing the red mark brings a heat to your cheeks; the image of your porcelain doll of a friend being marked up by such a muscular man is not something you thought you'd ever witness. Now that you have, you can't help but think they're perfect together. Suddenly Hongjoong is sitting back, his hands pulling on the band of Seonghwa's shorts and throwing them aside, and you see how hard Seonghwa is, his movements showing how obviously needy he is.
Fuck, I really should stop watching them, you think. You'd seen them both naked before, it's not like your friend group was uncomfortable with much. But this was obviously different, and the way your body was feeling while you witnessed it made you feel a confused and a little guilty. Still, you could not pull yourself away, as you saw Hongjoong lean down over Seonghwa and say something, and Seonghwa's lips curl up in a smile, his head turning to the side as he grabbed onto Hongjoong's arm. They looked so, so in love. With Seonghwa's legs spread Hongjoong reached down, his hand moving between his cheeks, moving in a way you could not make out from your distance. Seonghwa's head fell back in obvious pleasure, and his back arched slightly showing off his lean abdomen. Hongjoong moved his head down to suck on one of his nipples, making Hwa's back arch even further and his mouth fall open. He looked so completely content in such a vulnerable state, and it made your heart ache with happiness. In all of the conversations you'd had with him over the years, you knew he always felt so self-conscious in these situations. It was always shocking to you, given just how beautiful he was. He got propositioned out in public more than anyone in your group, and had to continually turn people down given the industry he worked in. But all of that attention felt uncomfortable to him, usually, and you knew that. To see him so unabashedly open with someone was a rare sight.
Hongjoong's hand moves up and then you see, a tiny glint of something metal in his hand. It must have been a plug Seonghwa had inside himself already. When had he put that in? It must have been after the game, so before the movie? When did he even have the time? You can't stop watching the way Hongjoong lines himself up, stroking a hand through Seonghwa's hair again, finally pushing himself in ever so slowly. The plug sits next to them on the lounging chair, and you swear the gem on the end twinkles at you. He starts thrusting slowly, kissing Seonghwa's cheek, the rain starting to pick up again. It all feels so cinematic, like it couldn't have been more perf-
"What are you looking at?" Yunho whispers into your ear, sliding up behind you. You jump, spinning away from the window and covering your eyes, your elbow hitting him in the ribs.
"Oh god, ow," he says, grabbing his side.
"You scared me," you pout, your head feeling full of molasses from all of the feelings you are having.
"I whispered," he replied. "Why are you so jumpy, are you okay? Why did you you leave the couch?"
"I was cold, I was gonna grab your hoodie. But then, the window, you know, it was pretty outside with the storm and stuff," you reply, averting your eyes.
"Seems like my hoodie is in danger of being re-homed," he replies. He's trying to joke around to lighten your mood, which is obviously not good at the moment. Your eyes on the floor make him worried, and you really don't seem yourself. Or rather, you seem like how you are when you aren't feeling well.
"Here, why don't we look out the window together?" he offers, turning you around to face it again, wrapping his arms around you to try to help you feel warm.
"Oh god, Yunho, no," you mumble as he turns you, and you start stepping out of his reach, mortified at what he's about to see. You feel his arms stretch out and his body begin to move with you, but then he halts.
"Oh, that's what you were looking at," he laughs under his breath, making you cringe. You hope he leaves it at that, that he doesn't say anything else. But soon he opens his mouth again. "Oh god, that's crazy," he says, and you look back to see his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks almost horrified, and you wonder for a moment if he's even seeing what you think he's seeing, or if it's something else entirely. With a confused look on your face you scoot towards the window again, to catch a glimpse of whatever has him so shocked.
As soon as your eye line reaches Seonghwa and Hongjoong you too feel a shock, at just how hard Hongjoong is thrusting into him now, his hand on Seonghwa's neck. No longer do the two look like a balletic couple; instead one has clearly submitted to the other. You know from conversations with him that Seonghwa likes being taken like this, or at least has always liked the idea of it. He'd told you many times how he'd never really had any partners he trusted enough to go there with, but that he wished he could. You feel strangely proud of him, as you realize he'd had to have a difficult conversation with Hongjoong to make this happen.
"Yunho, stop," you say, tugging on his arm to pull him into the library with you.
"You saw what I saw, right?" he asks, his voice still low but sounding mildly concerned.
"Yeah, why?" you ask, seeing his hoodie on the corner of the pull out couch and making a bee line for it.
"You just, don't seem concerned," he says.
"Why would I be concerned?" you ask, your eyebrows knitted together. You really don't know why he'd have a problem with the two of them being together, but suddenly you worry there's something about Yunho that you didn't know.
"Hongjoong was being so aggressive with him," he says, voice even softer.
"Oh, Yunho, he-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to overshare. You're so thankful he doesn't have a problem with them for any other reason. "It's not really my place to share but, let's just say I know he likes that. I'm sure he asked for it."
"Well, I guess that makes a lot of sense," he laughs, his relief palpable. You cock your head to the side, looking confused. "Oh you know what I mean," he continues. "Hwa is so professional, pretty, put together all the time. Of course he likes being taken like a whore."
"Yunho, what the fuck," you say, shoving your face in his hoodie to try to cover up your laugh. You can't help finding what he said hilarious, and his read of Seonghwa is completely spot on. But you can't believe the words actually left his lips. "How can you say that about him?"
"You're the one who was standing and watching them for what, five whole minutes? I waited a while to come and check on you," he says, staring you down as you finally put on his hoodie, your hair a mess under the hood.
"God, please don't tell anyone," you groan into your hands. "It's weird, I know, I'm sorry. I just, they seem very compatible, and I'm happy Hwa has found someone like that. I don't know."
"It's not weird, I know you like watching that kind of stuff," he replies.
"I do not, what are you talking about?" you reply, your cheeks feeling warm again.
"Ok I know it's only one example, but remember our school trip senior year? When those people in the hotel across the street were fucking and they left their curtains wide open? You couldn't stop staring."
"I'm never living that down," you sigh.
"There's nothing wrong with doing that, at least I don't think so. If people are fucking in public then they know someone might see. They probably even like the idea," he says, chuckling.
"I'm not a big pervert who reads smut all the time and likes watching people fuck," you pout, hitting him on the arm.
"I know," he murmurs, pulling you into a hug. "I'd still love you if you were, though."
Love. Your heart stops at the word for a moment, and you don't know why. You'd said it to each other thousands, probably tens of thousands of times in the ten years you'd known him. But now it's making you feel like your heart has fallen into your stomach, and you might puke it up. You sag against Yunho, pains wracking through you again. You almost feel relief, at realizing the feeling was just your cramps.
"I don't feel good," you groan into his chest.
"I know, I could tell," he says, rubbing a hand along your back.
"How?" you ask, tensing in anticipation of his answer.
"Cause you're being kind of weird with me today," he sighs out, hugging you even more tightly.
"I'm sorry," you say, having known it would be his answer. It was the thing him and Seonghwa had helped you realize; no matter how much you could hide the physical symptoms of anything, the changes in your personality were always there when you weren't feeling well. And those two, knowing you as well as they did, always picked up on it.
"Do you want to go back out there? Or stay in here?" he asks you.
"I just want to lay in here for a bit, by myself," you say, not wanting to expose him any longer to your sour mood. "I'll come out for dinner, can you let me know when everyone's eating?"
"Of course," he says, lifting you up and placing you on your bed. In the comfort of the library everything feels so intimate, and you tug him down to come lay with you too, for just a second. Wrapped around each other you both sigh, Yunho nuzzling his face into your neck and leaving a gentle kiss. He feels overcome with concern, his heart wanting to stay next to you like this, forever. But you'd said you wanted to lay by yourself. He pulls himself up, tightening the strings of his hoodie slightly and pulling your blanket over your shoulders. As he leaves he walks gently, trying not to make any sound. In the hallway he glances briefly out the window, to see Seonghwa smiling, him and Hongjoong cuddled up together in a gentle embrace.
***
Dinner passes in a blur, your entire body feeling achey and your head starting to hurt. You'd taken your pills, drank water; there was nothing else you could do. When Yunho came to get you you'd almost declined, almost asked him to bring you food in bed. Your bleeding was definitely slowing down, but your body was feeling weaker today, and your mind was all over the place. Throughout dinner you felt like you might start crying at the smallest thing, and you clung onto Seonghwa to keep yourself from doing so. Everyone could tell you weren't feeling well, Yunho and Seonghwa rubbing your back as you sat cross legged at the large coffee table in the living room, slowly sipping at your soup. When Wooyoung brought you the bowl he had leaned down to hug you, seeing just how out of it you were.
"You don't have to stay out here with us if you don't feel well," Seonghwa said, running his hand through your hair. You leaned against him, slowly blinking to try and calm yourself.
"I don't think I can walk right now," you said, your legs hurting terribly.
"I can carry you," Yunho piped up, downing his last bite of food. "Do you want to go lay down again?"
You nodded your head, the light in the room feeling too bright despite how dim it was. You bring your hands up to cover your eyes.
"Ok, let me clean up our dishes and I'll take you to your bed," he said, standing up with your bowl and his plate in hand. When he returned he gently grabbed your hands, moving them around to the back of his neck, and then moving your legs out in front of you, scooped you up in one fluid motion. You rest your head on his chest, burying your face into his hoodie that you're still wearing.
"Feel better, we love you," Ari said, a twinkle in her eye as she watched Yunho carrying you from the room.
"I love you too," you respond weakly. You feel yourself fading, but suddenly your teeth feel too gross to sleep. "Wait, I need to brush my teeth," you tell Yunho, groaning in frustration.
"Okay, no worries," he says, his voice gentle. He walks you to the bathroom and sets you down on the toilet seat, prepping your toothbrush for you, then helps you stand to spit everything out when you're done. "Wait, I need to pee," you say, holding onto his arm tightly. He helps you sit down again, helps take off your pants and panties. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to help me like this," you say, your words nearly slurring together. You're really sounding out of it, and he feels himself in that space he gets in, when you're so broken down and he's the one there to comfort you.
"Shh, it's okay," he says, brushing a tear that fell down your cheek.
"No it's not, I'm a fucking mess," you continue, more tears starting to fall. "Why can't I figure out my damn body, why does it always catch me so off guard? It must be so weird living with me," you cry, everything tumbling out in waves.
"Y/n, listen to me. Everything is okay, I'm gonna get you to bed and you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise. You are not weird to live with, you're wonderful to live with. Are you hearing me?" he asks, moving your face up to make eye contact with him. "How did I get so lucky to know you?"
His kind words only make you cry harder, and you can't stop even as you get up from the toilet and try to steady yourself. He opens the door and picks you up again, carrying you finally to your bed to lay down. In bed your body feels heavy, like you're made of lead. You haven't felt this tired in a while, and you think sleep might envelop you immediately. But the pain radiating down your thighs and up through your stomach is too bad, and you toss and turn, unable to relax as Yunho readies himself for bed.
"Y/n, what do you need?" he asks, seeing your constant movements and pained expression.
"My legs to stop hurting," you mumble. Without even opening your eyes you raise your arms out to grab at him, even though he isn't right there. Your body is moving desperately again, and something about being with him in this room makes you loose all inhibitions. "Please make them stop hurting Yuyu," you plead.
"What would help, baby?" he asks, his body feeling electric. He moves over so you can grab him; he'll follow any request you have, do anything for you.
"Touch me, again, please," you beg, your thighs and pussy aching. Yunho again grabs a towel for you, gently placing it down on your bed and smoothing it out, lifting your hips to move you onto it. You keep making little sounds of desperation, unable to stop yourself. 'I know, I know, just relax baby,' he whispers to you, watching the way your face softens at the pet name. Soon your lower half is entirely naked, and he's massaging your legs, gently brushing past your cunt a few times, making you mewl from neediness. He wants to make you feel better but he also likes seeing you like this, likes hearing you beg for him. He wasn't prepared last night for what it did to him, and he thinks he's probably already addicted to that feeling.
Finally he slowly pushes a finger in, making you moan and sigh, the relief instant. Your reaching out to pull at his face, pulling him in to kiss him hard, your breath mixing as you open your mouth to slide your tongue across his. You moan at the feeling, his tongue wet and hot, making your clit throb. 'More,' you plead, your body feeling even more opened up than the previous night, even more ready to take everything he can give. He slowly adds a second digit, not wanting to hurt you, but he can tell your desperation is high and you're needing to be well and truly fucked. 'More, more,' you almost cry, your cunt clenching hard onto his long fingers, your hips rocking to match his movements. He inserts another finger, moving slowly again as to not hurt you. Desperately you claw at his back, hands reaching underneath his shirt, leaving marks in their wake. Yunho groans at the feeling, his own cock throbbing at how needy and wet you are. 'Faster, please,' you beg. The little sounds you let out are making him harder and harder; he starts rubbing himself against your leg as he fucks you with his fingers, his cock so hard it's starting to feel like torture.
"More, please Yuyu," you beg again, tears forming in your eyes from how good it all feels.
"More fingers? You feel so tight baby," he asks you, barely able to move his hand with how hard you're clenching down on him.
"No, need you inside me," you babble, feeling how hard he is against your leg. Yunho slows his movements a bit, propping himself up on his elbow to talk to you. He wants nothing more than to fuck you right then, but there's just one problem.
"Baby, I didn't bring any condoms with me," he huffs out, his frustration obvious.
"You should have," you whine, turning your face away from him but still moving your hips against his hand.
"How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?" he asks, laughing.
You just whine again, eyes even more teary now at the thought that you might not get what you want, and you move your hands up to cover your face. Yunho stops his movements when he sees your disappointed face, sitting himself up to look down at you. He takes his free hand and gently brushes a hair out of your face.
"You really need me to fuck you right now?" he asks, earnestly. You nod your head, looking at him through the gaps between your fingers, your lips in a pout. Yunho groans and throws his head back, your sweet and needy face making him want to do every dirty thing he can think of. "Okay, I'll be right back," he says, slowly pulling out of you. You whine in disappointment, your pussy feeling devastatingly empty. "Just sit tight for a few minutes, I'll be right back," he says, kissing your forehead.
After cleaning off his hand Yunho walks through the cabin, trying hard to go unnoticed as he passes through the living room to the master bedroom. Everyone still seems to be awake except Hongjoong and Seonghwa who lay cuddled on a couch together; Wooyoung and his cousin Yeosang are playing what appears to be a very heated card game of some kind, while the other boys watch or scroll their phones, everyone clearly winding down for the night. He's thankful to not see Ari or San present; they must be in their bedroom as he'd hoped. His heart races from how potentially awkward this interaction could be, but he feels like he's on autopilot and there's no possibility of turning back. Not when you had begged him like that, and looked at him the way you did. There was no way he wouldn't find some sort of solution to his problem.
He knocks on the door gently, hoping he's not disturbing a private moment between the two.
"Yeah?" he hears Ari ask, sounding sleepy.
"It's Yunho, can I come in for just a sec?" he asks, trying to sound casual. He doesn't want to raise any alarm bells for them, or for any of the boys in the living room who might be overhearing. And if it had just been Ari, or one of the other friends he'd known for so long it might not feel too awkward. But there are three new people on the trip this year, and he isn't sure how comfortable they would be.
"Yeah, come in," she responds. Yunho turns the door handle slowly, hoping to avoid making any loud noise. Slowly pushing open the door, he spots San in the chair in the corner, reading over something on his laptop in front of him.
"Hey, sorry this is, well, random. Do you guys happen to have a, uh, condom I could borrow?" He spits it out, not wanting to waste a second.
"Oh, yeah, uh, let me see what I've got," San replies, closing his laptop and setting it on the bed before unzipping a small pocket in his suitcase. "Here just take this box, I brought two with me," he responds.
"Are you sure?" Yunho asks. He's frankly taken aback by how casual San is being about this, and by his generosity on top of it all.
"Yeah, of course. I've got plenty and I'm glad you're asking. It's always better to be safe," he responds, a genuine smile on his face.
"Be careful with her," Ari adds, unable to stop herself. "She's very fragile."
"I'm not going to hurt her, you know that," he replies, looking at her almost coldly. He feels slightly offended at the idea that she thinks it's a possibility, after all of the years she'd known him, seen him taking care of you.
"I know. I just had to say it, she needs all the protecting she can get," she says, remembering the state you were in during dinner. "I'm sorry if that was rude. I'm- I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to ask us," she finishes, hoping she didn't cross some sort of line with him.
"She's very capable of asking for what she needs," Yunho replies, wanting to stick up for you. But his face is soft, he isn't mad.
"Which is, that?" Ari gestures at the box of condoms in his hand, trying to hold back laughter.
"Okay, that's enough," Yunho laughs, looking away from her towards the door. "Thank you both, sorry if I made that weird."
Out the door he makes his way through the living room, trying to hide the box under the hem of his shirt. Mingi is the only one who glances up to see him, registering the shape of the box underneath his shirt. He's pretty sure he knows what it is, and he smirks to himself, too tired to say anything about it. But he's happy his friend is finally getting what he's wanted.
"I'm back," Yunho whispers when he reenters the room, your face and body awash in the gentle white light from the moon. He makes quick work of opening the box, removing one condom and throwing it on the bed. In a second he's on you, peppering your face with kisses, moving his hands underneath your shirt to pull it off.
"I'm so bloated," you say, breathless.
"I need to see you," he responds, not giving you any room to keep talking about yourself that way. You tug on his shirt as well and he reaches up, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. In the moonlight he looks pale, his long torso perfectly shaped and beautifully lean. You bring a hand up to stroke along his stomach, feeling the strong muscles underneath his skin, brushing across a small happy trail going down from his belly button into his pants. You tug on his pants too, your neediness having only grown in the few minutes he was gone. The idea of laying stark naked in front of anyone, especially in your bloated, sickly state would normally make you shudder, but in this moment you feel free, ready to take anything. He moves down to kiss you again, passionately, his tongue forcing you to open your mouth wide, his hands possessively grabbing you. Him kissing down your neck has you moaning, nearly writhing underneath him. He moves up to whisper to you, biting your earlobe gently and making you moan louder.
"You're so perfect," he whispers, the words cascading down you like a soft warm rain, any worry you had completely melting away. You tug at his pants again, helping him move them down and finally, completely off. Quickly he rolls on the condom; carefully he lines himself up with your entrance, moving his stiff cock up and down our slit, already feeling how warm and wet and ready you are. Finally he presses in, achingly slowly, until he's fully seated inside of you, the muscles of your cunt being deliciously stretched in a way they never have before.
He's big to be sure, clearly just the perfect size, stretching you just the way your body needed. Slowly he pulls out, then soothingly pushes himself back in, his cock hitting every perfect place inside you. Your mouth falls open at the feeling; you've never felt so full, so complete. He moves a hand down to your hip, anchoring himself so he can start a slow rhythm, his head buzzing with how good it all feels.
"Baby, you're so tight, fuck," he says as he tries to find a consistent pace. "Does that feel good?" he asks, eyes not leaving your face.
"Yes, yes, fuck, Yunho," you mumble, not able to form a coherent sentence.
"Relax for me then, you're so tight I can barely move," he says, trying to find the perfect angle to make your body completely give in. Quickly he readjusts himself, moving his knee to lower his angle, adding more strength to his movement. You moan, clearly feeling even better than before, so he knows he needs to lower the angle even more. "Baby, lift your hips for me," he says, grabbing a pillow from beside you to move underneath your lower back. Once you're situated he kisses you again, acutely aware of just how surrendered you are to him, words no longer forming on your lips. Slowly he adjusts his knee again, his hand still on your hip anchoring you, and he begins fucking you again from his new angle.
The immense pleasure is immediate, your back arching and your head rolling back, your moans so loud you're probably being heard throughout the rest of the cabin. But Yunho doesn't care, he's not thinking about that. All he's thinking about is the way he feels your pussy pull him in even more, your hips and thighs finally relaxing some, your whole body reacting to his change in movement.
"Shit, there you go," he praises you, feeling your legs wrap around his back, pulling him in. He's been so careful with you, so focused on not hurting you, but he can tell you need more, so he starts fucking you harder, his face nuzzling in your hair to take in everything he loves about you. He can feel the muscles of your pussy start to clench again, but it's different this time; the flutter against his cock drives him crazy, making him thrust into you even harder. Soon he feels the muscles clenching hard, your moans reaching their peak, your hands a vice grip on his arm and back.
"Good girl, let yourself come," he coos, holding you as close to him as he can, kissing your cheek and nose. It's the most heated moment, he feels himself about to come undone too, but suddenly he's overcome with fondness, a warmth flowing through his chest, making him feel emotional.
"Fuck, I love you." The words tumble out of him without warning and your own chest warms, just as your orgasm starts blooming through you, your legs shaking as Yunho continues to fuck you. You're moaning and mewling, unable to say a single actual word, but you wish you could tell him just how perfect everything is, how you haven't came like that, ever. In the heat of the moment everything felt right, and to hear him say something so sweet just as you reached your climax made it all feel even better. His tight grip on you, the way he's nuzzled into your body, it makes you feel safe and grounded and so fucking horny.
Yunho comes just after you do, his thrusts becoming inconsistent, his body going taught and then absolutely limp on top of you. You both breath deeply, your chests heaving in the quiet coolness of the room. You wish you could bottle this feeling, the way your body is limp and buzzing with pleasure, his weight on top of you making your usually busy brain filled with nothing but the feeling of him. It feels peaceful, almost spiritual. You both rest for a few minutes, not moving a muscle, except when Yunho reaches over finally to kiss you again, making you giggle.
"How are you feeling?' he asks, still not daring to move.
"So good," you slur out, a dopey smile spreading across your face.
"Good," he replies, wrapping himself around you like he loves to do. "Can I pull out of you?" he asks.
"Mhmm," you respond, moving your legs to allow him to move. He cleans you up and helps you redress, stopping every few seconds to kiss you again, tickling you too when he realizes you're in the mood for it. It takes a while for you to come back to yourself, your mind so foggy from everything that had happened. But finally, once he'd gotten you both totally ready for sleep and wrapped himself up behind you, you found you could actually speak.
"I love you too," you whisper, squeezing his hand that rests on your belly. He just cuddles you closer, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
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heavenlyvision ¡ 1 year ago
Text
After hell freezes over
Word count: 16k
Pairing: Bi-Han x F!Reader
This part four to my 'When hell freezes over' series, read the other parts first, linked below :3
part one, part two, part three
A/N: This got way out of hand guys, I am so sorry. Thank you so much for your patience and kindness while waiting for this update !!! I love and appreciate you all so much!!! Also: LONGEST FIC!!!!
Summary:  The cat’s out the bag, everyone knows, and now you have to have a very awkward conversation and Bi-Han isn’t around to help. When he gets back, you try to offer him space to open up to you, but you have to do the same in return. Bi-Han makes you keep your word.
Warnings: 18+ only, smut, angst (iddy bit), soft!Bi-Han (like so soft almost ooc), mean!Bi-Han, return of Jealous!Bi-Han, (minor) handjob, face sitting, face riding, man handling, p in v sex, squirting, clit slapping, titty play, no use of y/n, I think that’s all <33
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Sore doesn’t even begin to describe how your body feels today, if you thought your muscles were achy the day before then you don’t know how to explain what this feeling is. Everything is heavy, but a satisfactory kind of heaviness. The kind where you’re so sore that just laying completely still feels like you’re about to ascend into heaven.
When you wake in the morning and reach out beside you, you find the bed empty, Bi-Han’s absence making the room feel so much larger. Your heart pangs a bit at the realisation, he didn’t even wake you. That, and he still hasn’t changed your bed sheets.
Rubbing at your eyes, you try to sit upright, body aching in protest. He certainly succeeded in his goal, there is no way you can train today, not in this condition. You rest your back against the beds headboard, considering if you really need to get out of bed yet or not.
The fact that you’re still naked is one of your biggest motivations for possibly moving. Just as you decide you should get out of bed, Bi-Han slides the door of your room open and slips inside, he’s making an effort to be quiet. But as he turns around to look at you, he notices your sitting form.
“You’re up,” he states.
“Very observant of you.” You have a bothered expression on your face.
Waking up alone after expecting him to still be here has upset you, which is even more annoying, because he is not obligated to stay. The sway he has over your feelings confounds you, he is one man, and yet, so much more.
“Are you… annoyed with me?” He asks cautiously.
“No.”
He raises a brow at you, “It seems like you are.”
You huff out a sigh, “I’m trying really hard to not be, because the reason is ridiculous.”
“And what is the reason?”
“When I woke up, you were gone.” You feel pitiful but you can’t help how you feel, and he makes you feel vulnerable.
His lips turn up into an amused smile, “That’s really cute.”
You frown at him, you aren’t trying to be cute, “I don’t like it.”
“Don’t like what?” He asks.
“How much I want to wake up to you in the mornings.”
His mouth twists, like he’s trying not to laugh, “Sweet girl,” he moves around the foot of the bed to stand beside you, “I went to get you some coffee.”
He lifts one of the two cups towards you, the cups you didn’t realise he was holding.
You pout a bit, feeling bad about being upset now, “That’s really thoughtful… thank you.”
Reaching for the cup, you hold it in two hands, enjoying the warmth it’s giving you. Bi-Han sits on the edge of the bed facing you. He’s watching you drink your coffee with kind eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble into the lip of the mug.
He smiles into his own mug, “Don’t apologise for that,” he considers his words while he sips at his own drink, when he’s pulled away, he places the mug on the table beside your bed.
He continues to speak, “It is nice to know that you want me here with you.”
You tell him, “I always want you.”
He’s silent as he looks into your eyes, searching. You aren’t sure what he’s looking for but you’re starting to regret your words, maybe you shouldn’t have said that. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same. Your propensity for being honest possibly biting you in the ass. It isn’t the first time you’ve regretted your words as soon as you’ve spoken them.
But even though you sometimes regret your words, you always mean them. Which is why Bi-Han sitting stoically in front of you and not replying is making you feel… exposed, emotionally.
Bi-Han’s hand moves to pluck your mug from your hands, and then he places it next to his own on the side table. His action confuses you, are you being punished in a really specific and odd way? You look up at him, bewilderment clear on your face.
And then he’s suddenly grabbing you and pulling you into his lap, wrapping you up in his arms. His lips pressing soft and quick kisses to your face, on your cheeks, lips, anywhere he can get to. His unexpected display of affection drags joyful giggles from you.
“Stop, stop,” you’re still laughing as you protest against him.
He does eventually pull back from you and when he does you ask, “What was that for?”
“Felt like it.” Is all he says in return.
His feelings for you run deep but his actions speak louder than words. Last night showed you that he is not eloquent in speaking his feelings, it frustrates him how he can’t seem to find the right words, but he tries and when he can’t verbalise them, he shows you. And that’s enough for you right now.
You shake your head in disbelief, “Can you put me back down, my muscles are not agreeing with movement today.”
A large, arrogant smile grows on his face at this information, “No training today?”
“Try not to gloat so much,” you bop him on the nose with one of your fingers.
“Not gonna make that promise,” he replies as he moves you back onto the bed.
His eyes trail over your bare skin, looking at all the hickeys he left behind last night. You cover yourself with the bed sheets, he is not allowed to be horny again, he might break you.
You shoot him with a pointed look, “Stop it.”
His eyes look back into yours, “I am not doing anything.”
“Mhmm,” you hum back at him.
Moving from the bed, he gets up and pulls out a shirt and some underwear for you. He places them down on the bed in front of you.
“Thank you,” you say.
He grunts in response, he’s about to turn away but your hand shoots out and tugs at his, pulling him down. When he’s close enough, you lean up to him, taking his lips in a sweet kiss. One he happily accepts, his hand coming up to gently hold the side of your face. You go to end the kiss, but he pulls your face forward, reconnecting your lips for just a moment longer.
When the kiss does end, it’s on his terms. Standing to his full height again, he moves across your room and shuffles through your belongings.
“What are you looking for?”
He continues looking inside drawers, “Sheets, I said I would change yours.”
“Linen cupboard, next to the bathroom door.”
He grunts in acknowledgement; you take the hint and move off the bed. Grabbing the clothes and heading into the bathroom, while in there you decide to shower quickly, rinsing off the prior nights activities.
When you exit the bathroom, you notice that Bi-Han has changed the sheets for you, “Thank you for changing them.”
“I don’t know why you bothered, probably gonna ruin them again soon anyways,” he shrugs at you from his position on the bed.
You shake your head at him vehemently, “Nah ah, I need to heal, or you will break me.”
He rolls his eyes at you, like you’re being so dramatic, but you’re genuinely concerned for your physical wellbeing.
Bi-Han is sitting with his back against the headboard, legs spread out length wise on the mattress. As you approach the bed you climb over to him, straddling him and hugging his upper half. His arms come around behind you, holding you close.
“This is just cruel you know,” he huffs into the top of your head.
“I don’t know what you mean, I just want a hug.”
“Mm but I can feel the warmth of your cu–”
Cutting him off you say, “–You are insatiable, truly.”
“Your fault, truly.” He retorts.
You press your face into his chest, resting your forehead against it. Your body is fully relaxed against him, savouring the closeness and enjoying the intimate moment. You think Bi-Han gives the best hugs, his embrace holds you perfectly, always making you feel so secure.
Moving your head to the side so your cheek rests on his chest, you say, “How am I going to get out of training?”
“Tell the truth,” he shrugs.
“That is an awful idea, and you know it.”
“Well, whatever you decide, it will have to be soon.”
“Not helpful,” you complain.
You can’t see it, but you just know he’s rolled his eyes at you again, “Tell them you wanna meditate or some shit, whatever it is you spend hours doing at that rock.”
“That is helpful, albeit rude,” his idea isn’t a bad one though, you could just sit at the rock, Liu Kang doesn’t mind when you train like that.
His chest rumbles with an amused sound at your complaint of his rudeness.
“Before I forget, I have a mission to go on with Kuai Liang and Tomas, I will be gone for a few days,” he mentions it flippantly.
His attitude towards telling you irks you a bit, you look him in the eyes, chin resting on his chest again, “If you ever manage to forget to tell me something like that, I will hunt you down just to give you the silent treatment.”
He has an entertained smile on his face, “Then, I will always tell you when I have to leave.”
“Good,” you state, pressing a kiss to his chest before laying back down.
You end up falling back to sleep, laying against his body. You don’t get much more sleep, unfortunately having to start the day but you appreciate the extra half an hour you do manage to get. Especially since when you do wake up, Bi-Han is still holding you.
❆˖°
You’ve not run into anyone today; you sought out Liu Kang to inform him of your decision to meditate today and then came straight to the rock. Despite actively avoiding everyone, the turtleneck you wore yesterday has made a secondary appearance today, hiding the additional hickeys bestowed upon your skin. It’s hot when Bi-Han gives you them but people seeing them is so insanely embarrassing. One wouldn’t be that bad, but you have like 20 on you right now.
The pure volume of them is what has you hiding your body, it wouldn’t even matter if everyone knew you were with Bi-Han. The idea of them seeing visual evidence of how you practically let him do to you as he pleases in the bedroom would have you dying on the spot from mortification. But, you digress, hopefully they will heal while Bi-Han is gone, and you’ll be able to stop dressing in long necked shirts. Which seems feasible until you remember that he’s probably just going to mark you up even more when he comes back. Whatever, this is a problem for future you.
Right now, you should be focusing on your breathing, which is easy enough, you didn’t realise how much you’ve missed your enlightenment rock. It gives you the space to breathe and reconnect with nature, feeling the energy move through you. Time always manages to slip away from you when you come here, too engrossed in the way you feel, the things you can sense. The Earth speaking to you, it’s soothing.
Footsteps can be felt on the Earth behind you, and then you feel Bi-Han’s eyes on you. His presence has you smiling to yourself, but you don’t move, waiting for him to come to you. Which, he does, walking around you and standing directly in front of the rock.
Your lack of a response has him huffing out, “I know you know I am here. You always know.”
“And don’t you forget it,” you retort, smiling up at him now.
His face is stoic, but his tone is gentle, “I have to leave now, we should be back in a few days, maybe less.”
“Be safe,” you tell him.
The thought of not seeing him for a few days dampens your mood, you’ve been growing accustomed to his presence. You feel like he just left on a mission for Liu Kang, but you understand he is an important man with commitments he has to attend to. You’re just some girl he likes.
“Mmm, I’ll try,” he shrugs in response to your request.
You frown in disapproval at him, “Not funny.”
His attitude is dismissive, “I’ll be fine.”
“When you come back, I have something I want to show you.”
“And what’s that?” His expression turns suggestive.
Your roll your eyes at him, “Nothing like that.”
You go to lightly smack him on the chest, but he catches your hand in the air. Stopping it from making contact. His hand drops yours, both of his coming up to hold your face in his hands. His eyes look intently into your own, his really pretty eyes. You practically melt for him in his hands.
Your expression makes him smile fondly at you, “So sweet on me.” He observes.
“I’ll stop.” You threaten, you don’t need the attentive commentary on your feelings, it makes you feel open.
It makes you feel seen, the horrible ordeal of being known and all that. It’s attention you are not accustomed to.
“Don’t you dare.” He hums, looking at you, eyes sparkling as they flit over your face, your neck; he won’t say it but he’s sweet on you too. Maybe more than you are on him.
You want to retort back again, keep the back and forth going. Hoping to prolong this conversation, prolong being in his presence but he’s leaning down to you. His hands still holding your face between them, he immediately deepens the kiss. Tongue in your mouth, he’s insistent but not forceful. He kisses you with the force of all his feelings, telling you everything you need to know without him having to speak a word.
Your own hands grab onto his forearms, you’re letting him kiss you how he needs. He’s taking what he needs, and it has you sighing into his mouth. His lips always, always overwhelming you. One of his hands goes from your face and pulls at your sitting waist, trying to move you closer to him.
Arms looping around his neck and holding on, your body stretching up. Both Bi-Han’s hands hold onto your hips, as he pulls you into him. Lips never pulling apart for more than a second, he’s holding you to him now. You’re no longer sitting and instead pressed to him, arms wrapped around his neck, his own arms holding you up. Your feet are not even touching the ground, he’s holding you up effortlessly, keeping your mouth level to his.
His kisses are fatal, and full, and when he pulls his lips away, he rests his forehead against yours. You’re breathless, both of you are. And you’re trying to savour the moment, you rest your head on his shoulder, hugging him to you. He accepts the embrace and holds you tightly.
He speaks softly, “I’ll go anywhere you want, when I am back.”
You hum against him, “thank you.”
And then he’s leaving, taking Kuai and Tomas with him. You were his one and only stop before going.
You’ll miss him.
❆˖°
That evening at dinner isn’t the same, Bi-Han never offered much in the way of conversation, but it feels significantly quieter without him. He may not have spoken much, but his presence always said plenty.
Usually something like, “shut up, don’t talk to me.” or “don’t look at me, I don’t like any of you.”
It’s funny how much he puts up with you, when you think if anyone else mildly annoyed him, his instinctual response would be to punch them. Though, he isn’t sleeping with anyone else here.
Dinner is also quieter without Tomas and Kuai, at least verbally. They offered more words than Bi-Han, you find their differences interesting, they’re brothers and were raised together but something was different for each of them. There is so much that you want to know about Bi-Han, but he has a sad way about him, not obviously. Outwardly he comes across as angry, but underneath you feel a sadness and you wonder why. It’s something you want to ask him about but isn’t something you should ask about, some things can only be offered, not taken.
You’re deep in thought when your eyes catch on Raiden’s, he notices you coming back from your thoughts and offers a polite smile, one you return.
“You okay?” He asks.
“Yup,” you nod at him.
This group makes you happy, you’ve never had much in the way of friends, so suddenly having a group of them is nice. Though, having people who care about you is an odd feeling, that’s not to say you haven’t had people care about you before, it’s just that in the past it’s been conditional or surface level. This isn’t that, everyone here is so genuine to you and sometimes it stuns you.
You’re pulled from your thoughts again, “What’s that, sugar?” Johnny asks from beside you.
You don’t know what he’s referring to, you turn to look at him, expression confused, “I don’t know?”
His smile is evil, his finger comes up and presses into a point on your skin, where your jaw meets your neck, just below your ear. Your blood runs cold and one of your hands comes up to cover it.
“It’s nothing,” your eyes are wide as you shake your head at him, silently begging him for discretion.
Johnny either doesn’t catch on or doesn’t care, “I know a hickey when I see one!”
Noises erupt from everyone at the table, Raiden chokes on his food across from you.
“What the hell, Johnny!” you huff at him.
You take it back; Johnny is the exception to the group and no longer a friend. His grin is large and mimics the Cheshire cat.
“Who gave you a hickey?!” Kung Lao yells out from next to Raiden.
You sigh deeply, of course this happens when Bi-Han is gone.
“Wait… is that why you weren’t at training today?” Kenshi asks from the other side of you.
He caught on quick, how annoying of him.
You’re holding your head in your hands, shaking it in exasperation. What did this night turn into.
When you look up again, you’re very obviously embarrassed, face contorted with your discomfort. The guys don’t notice, they’re all looking around the table, trying to find out who you’ve been sleeping with.
“This is none of our business,” Liu Kang interrupts, trying to be the voice of reason, but by the look he gives you, you can tell he wants you to tell him who you’re sleeping with. Such a gossip.
They ignore Liu Kang, and once they’ve determined it’s none of them, “OH MY GOD, it’s one of the brothers!” Johnny exclaims.
“Oh, well then obviously, it’s the scary one,” Kung Lao says.
You’ve still not said anything, you wouldn’t even know what to say. Bi-Han literally just left a few hours ago and now everything is out, because of him. You didn’t even know there was a hickey there, he would’ve seen it before he left too and just kept it to himself bastard.
“He does stare at her a lot,” Raiden notes, joining in.
“Et tu, Brute?” You complain.
He looks at you sheepishly, feeling bad.
Johnny’s hand comes out and shakes your shoulder, swaying you, “Is that why he looked like he wanted to kill me yesterday?”
There isn’t any point in denying… but you’re going to try anyways, “I don’t know what you guys are on about, you’ve all come to your own conclusions.”
You have a horrible poker face right now, being put on blast has you so embarrassed that any lie that you try to tell falls flat. Your attempt falls on deaf hears, they all shoot you a dubious look, even Liu Kang looks like he doesn’t believe you.
“I mean, he was especially murderous yesterday, he stares at you a lot, he went to say goodbye to you earlier.” Kenshi points out.
“How did you know he came to see me?” You ask, you wouldn’t think Bi-Han would tell anyone about that.
“I didn’t,” Kenshi has a supressed smile on lips, if he had fully smiled, it’d probably look as evil as Johnny’s. He’s proud of himself for catching you.
“Oh sugar, I am so sorry, you’ve just told on yourself,” Johnny’s hand is still on your shoulder, and he rocks you again.
You sigh and roll your eyes before smacking Johnny’s hand off you, “Not nice, Kenshi.”
“I am sorry,” he certainly does not look sorry, he acts better than Johnny but he’s just as bad.
Kung Lao interjects, “Okay, wait, for how long have you guys been,” he makes weird motions with his hands trying to finish what he means without saying it.
Lucky for him Johnny says it, “How long have you guys been fucking?”
“Johnny! Have some decorum,” Liu Kang chastises him.
Everyone else looks to you, all eyes on you, waiting for an answer to Johnny’s very invasive question.
You look up to the ceiling, hoping it might fall in on you and you can avoid all of this.
Raiden speaks to you gently, “You do not have to tell us anything if you are uncomfortable–”
“–Screw that! You have to tell us, he’s so… mean and you’re so… not!” Johnny interrupts.
“It’s been over a week, not long.” You say honestly, answering them will move this along quicker.
“Over a whole week, and no one noticed?” Kenshi says.
You clear your throat, “Well, Kuai knows.”
“You told him and not us!” Johnny is offended, “You aren’t closer to him than me, what the hell?”
“It wasn’t about choosing to tell him.” You shuffle in your seat, uncomfortable.
Kung Lao catches onto what you mean first, his eyes wide, “OH MY GOD,” he exclaims.
Raiden taps him, “what, what?” Kung Lao leans into him and whispers his suspicions to him, Raiden’s eyes also grow wide.
Liu Kang is shaking his head side to side from the head of the table, he knew immediately what you meant, he just doesn’t want to make this experience worse for you.
Kenshi and Johnny share a look around you for a few moments before their facial expressions also grow shocked when they catch on.
Johnny looks back at you, a hand over his mouth and one pointing at you, he’s being way more dramatic than necessary. But it’s what makes it so fun for him, the dramatics of an actor.
“You didn’t tell Kuai… he heard!”
“Yes, thank you for verbalising that, Johnny,” you sigh out.
Everyone is silent before he starts to let out stifled laughter, it’s apparently contagious because they all start laughing together. Everyone but Liu Kang but you know he’s enjoying this, his eyes bright and amused.
What a bunch of schoolboys, “Oh my god! Grow up!”
The laughter dies out slowly, “I can’t believe you guys, we are not friends anymore,” you pout out, “Especially you,” you target Johnny.
His hands raise up, “Hey! Why me specifically?”
“For not keeping your mouth shut.” You cross your arms over your chest.
Johnny’s smile grows even larger, if that’s possible, “Why are you wearing that turtleneck, sugar?”
You snarl at him, “I think you know why, sugar.”
Gasps comes from Raiden and Kung Lao.
Kenshi speaks next, “Jesus, did he maul you?”
Your head falls to your shoulder in a show of your own dramatics, “He might as well have.” You pick your head back up quickly, “It was Johnny’s fault!”
“How is it my fault?” His voice is offended, a hand falls on his chest.
“You flirted with me, it made him jealous,” you shrug.
Johnny pleads his case, “That wasn’t my fault! You’re hot and had your thighs either side of my head!”
“Don’t say that in front of him,” you tell Johnny sincerely, if Bi-han was here you’d genuinely be concerned for Johnny’s safety, “He already wants you dead.”
Johnny is flabbergasted, “HUUUH?”
“He actually isn’t happy with… any of you, not that he ever is,” you say.
“He tells you how he feels?” Liu Kang asks.
“He tries,” you nod.
Kenshi adds, “and he gets jealous?”
“Very,” you nod again.
“Dude, he LIKES you,” Johnny concludes, proud of himself.
“I know,” okay, you find this really funny, they think they’ve discovered something that you didn’t know, “He told me.”
“And?” Kung Lao probes.
“And, I like him too, which he also already knows,” you raise an eyebrow. You think they’re having a hard time grasping the fact that he talks to you and has told you how he feels.
“Woah, you guys have like… a full secret relationship,” Johnny remarks.
You confirm, it isn’t labelled but, “I guess so, pretty much.”
“I am stuck on him liking someone,” Kung Lao jests.
The comment pulls a smile from you because it is funny that of all people, he likes you.
“I mean at all, not just romantically,” He adds.
A chuckle comes from you at his addition.
“Well, I mean… if he was going to like someone it’s no wonder it’s her,” Kenshi says.
“That’s true,” Johnny replies.
They’re all nodding their heads in agreement; it’s making you feel bashful, “Okay, we can still be friends, since you all like me so much,” you say in a joking manner.
“Nice!” Johnny rejoices, to which they all join in the celebration. Their stupidity makes you laugh, you’re very fond of them all.
“He didn’t want anyone to know,” you tell them.
“Maybe he shouldn’t have assaulted your skin then,” Kenshi shrugs.
You decide to be a little bit mean; you turn to Kenshi and look him dead in the eyes, “You have no idea how bad it is,” you’re mostly joking but also yes, it is that bad.
Kenshi’s eyes get wide, and he tints pink as he understands the weight behind your words. It’s an amusing sight.
Johnny also catches your implication, “Holy shit–”
“–Are you going to tell him we know about the two of you, when he gets back?” Raiden cuts off Johnny, changing the subject, which you’re thankful for.
You shrug at him, “I’ll have to, I can’t lie to him, he always knows.”
“How cute,” Johnny has a sickening sweet lilt to his voice, mocking you.
You roll your eyes at him and push his shoulder, jostling him, “watch it Hollywood, you’re on thin ice right now.”
Tonight, has been, a lot, you couldn’t foresee this coming, but at least it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be.
“Is he freaky in bed?” Johnny leans closer to you to ask, trying to be discrete; everyone hears him anyhow.
You take back your earlier statement; Johnny is making this about as bad as you thought he would.
Raiden rolls his eyes at Johnny, having saved the conversation from this direction only for Johnny to swivel right back around and hit you with this question.
You ask him, “Do you want me to answer honestly? Or are you just ribbing me?” You genuinely can’t tell.
“Of course, I want the truth,” he scoffs.
You pause, you don’t know what to say, “he’s hot.” You decide to be dismissive.
“Oh c’mon, that’s boring, I want something juicy!” Johnny whinges.
“It’s hot, he’s good…” You trail off, remembering how verbal Bi-Han is in bed, how much he talks to you, how much you enjoy it, you miss him.
Johnny boos at your non-descript detailing of your sex life.
“Johnny, go get laid,” you tell him.
A chorus of ‘oooooh’ erupts from the guys, rubbing your teasing comment in Johnny’s face.
“You all know far too much now anyways, any more information you want, you can risk your lives asking Bi-Han for.” You shut down all further questioning for the night.
You’re putting up a brave front but them asking Bi-Han directly will result in one of two ways, one: he kills them on the spot, or two: he gives far too much detail, happy to explain how well he fucks you, hoping to deter them from wanting you. It’s like the marks he left behind, they’re a sign of ownership, and you’re sure his words would reflect the same kind of intent. Especially after he got so jealous the other day. You’re just hoping Bi-Han’s aura is too threatening for them to even attempt at asking him something like that.
You aren’t sure if you should be concerned about everyone finding out or not, Bi-Han wasn’t exactly trying his hardest to keep your relationship on the downlow, but you also know he probably doesn’t want people to know.
Cause like he said, ‘two things can be true at once’.
❆˖°
The past couple days have been gruelling, the nonstop teasing from mostly Johnny but also all of them has been, exhausting. It isn’t particularly upsetting but it is almost constant, this is why you wanted to keep it secret. Not because of any grander reason, but because these guys are unbearable sometimes and you spend almost every day, all day with them.
Right now, you’re all having a break from training, standing in the open courtyard, you were all having a nice conversation but of course the subject of you and Bi-Han always comes back up. It’s like the go to topic when conversation dies down now.
Johnny is whinging again, “Come on, give us something! Or does he just lay there silently?”
He is pressing you about your sex life again, weirdly invested in the dynamics.
You shake your head at him, “Johnny I don’t know what makes you think I would give you explicit details about my sex life, it’s not any of your business.”
You really wish Bi-Han were here, dealing with this on your own is very difficult, you imagine it would be easier to cope if he were beside you. They should all be back later today, possibly the evening, you just have to field the questions until then.
“It’s a weird dynamic and I can’t picture it!” He is still pushing it.
“Why would you want to?” You ask him.
He’s being very dramatic, “Because it’s odd! Like a car crash you can’t look away from”
“Not comparable Johnny!” What the hell, your sex life with Bi-Han is not like a car crash.
“No but it’s like…” He’s clicking his fingers together trying to remember the term he is searching for, “morbid curiosity!” He snaps in finality, pointing at you.
You shake your head and groan, “Most people who experience that are also polite enough to not ask, be more like Raiden,” you point at Raiden, he’s standing across from you, he’s been very polite and not bombarded you with inappropriate questions.
You add, “Curiosity killed the cat.”
“Ah yes, but satisfaction brought it back,” Johnny concludes, his smile smug.
You stand there silently; you’ve decided to just ignore him now. Which of course, does not work, he is now poking at your side, repeating your name over and over.
“Come on, just a crumb of detail!” He huffs out at you before suddenly going quiet.
They’re all quiet and you know why, Bi-Han is behind you. You can feel his presence, looming over you from behind, he’s not looking at you. You assume he is shooting the others a killer glare.
“She is a sweet little thing in bed,” Bi-Han adds, his tone humourless, he’s pissed.
You gasp at his statement and turn around to him, you slap him on the chest lightly, “What the hell Bi-Han?!”
You look up at him with an angry expression, he’s still looking at the group behind you. His face as stoic as usual, his tone was angry, but his expression is blasé. He’s daring them to ask him more, he will answer and that’s a threat.
You look back at everyone, none of them want to talk, all a bit red in the face. They’re uncomfortable and shooting dirty looks at Johnny, who is looking away to the sky with an innocent expression on his face.
Spinning back round you look up at Bi-Han again and this time he looks down to you, his gaze immediately softening at the sight of you. He leans down and hugs you, one you accept because you missed him, even though he just made it difficult for your friends to look you in the eyes.
When he pulls back you go to turn around and apologise to the guys, but Bi-Han has other plans, he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, walking away with you.
You go to protest, “Hey! Wait–”
“–No,” he says, simply.
You can see the guys as you’re carried away, Johnny holds two thumbs up and has a huge smile on his face. You point at him, your gaze burning as you look directly into his eyes. Making a promise to get back at him for being so annoying and nosy.
As you walk through the grounds, you walk past Kuai, Tomas and Liu Kang, Bi-Han doesn’t stop walking, completely ignoring them.
“Hey guys, glad you’re back safe,” you say waving at them as you’re carried past.
Tomas has a confused look on his face as he waves back at you. Kuai’s expression a disapproving one, his brother continues to exasperate him, and Liu Kang just looks, exhausted.
You’re carried back to Bi-Han’s room, and once you’re inside he places you on the floor gently. Gaining your footing and stretching once you’re standing again.
You tell Bi-Han, “That wasn’t necessary, I would’ve come with you willingly.”
He changes the topic, “So they all know.”
You look as guilty as you feel, “Yes…” You say, Bi-Han gives you a stern look, but you continue, “…but actually, it’s your fault because they saw one of the hickeys you left!” You point an accusatory finger at him.
His face morphs into an expression of pride, wolfish smile present on his lips, “Good.”
“No, no, not good, and you know, it occurs to me that you would have seen it before you left and said nothing!” You point out to him.
“And if I did?” He shrugs at you, face dropping into a serious expression.
“No… mmm, no…,” you’re struggling to think of a punishment, there is only really one thing you can punish him with, “No sex!”
He’s quick to answer, “Okay, then I did not see it.”
His expression is definite, you know he’s pleased with himself, but he’s keeping his poker face on.
Your hands land on your hips, disapproving of his attitude, “Is this what you wanted?”
He looks upwards and to the side, pretending to think, “I can’t say I am particularly torn up about it.”
“You have no idea the torment I’ve had to put up with,” you sigh out.
He considers your words for a second, “Want me to kill them?”
“NO!” He knows you do not want that.
He smiles affectionately at you, “I am sorry I wasn’t here with you.”
“You should be,” you pout at him, you’re a little miffed with him right now.
And he knows which is why he hits you where you’re soft for him, “I missed you, sweet girl.”
You want to tell him you missed him too, but you don’t, instead you huff out, “I doubt it.”
He moves to you as he speaks, “Missed you, made sure we finished as quick as possible, just so I could see you again.” When he reaches you, he holds your head in his hands, his eyes soft as he looks into yours, “did you miss me?”
He’s trapped you, “Of course I missed you,” your response is mumbled out, begrudged with yourself for giving in so easily.
He smiles at you warmly, you look up at him, “Still annoyed with you though.”
He rolls his eyes playfully at you, “I am sure I can fix that.”
Leaning down he presses a single kiss to your lips; one you don’t return. He’s still holding your face in his hands, your own hanging limply at your sides. He grunts in disapproval at your lack of response.
“Kiss me back,” he demands.
You shake your head in response.
He huffs out an annoyed breath, “You’re not being very polite, missed you so much and you won’t even kiss me.” Your heart pulls in your chest and you almost give in.
He leans down and kisses you again, and again, and again. He keeps kissing you until you sigh against him, he takes the opportunity to enter his tongue into your mouth, finally able to kiss you properly. Your hands instinctually come up for something to hold onto, grabbing at the material of his shirt.
His own hands moving from your face down to your thighs, he picks you up and you gasp against his lips. Your inner thighs resting on his hips, your arms holding onto each other from behind his neck, the sudden shift shocked you and you’re holding tightly onto Bi-Han for balance.
“Relax, sweet girl, I’ve got you,” he nuzzles at the side of your face, inhaling your scent.
You take his lips back in yours, he turns the kiss dirty immediately. Tongue in your mouth, taking your breath away. He walks you both to the wall, and your back rests against it. His mouth never leaves yours, savouring the way you’re kissing him, enjoying the small sounds he’s pulling from you. His kisses are insistent, showing you just how much he missed you.
When he pulls away, it’s to look at your face, he’s taking in all your features and taking pride at the look in your eyes. It’s the same expression you always have when he kisses you, so soft for him, gooey eyed. His kisses take all thoughts from you, the only thought you have is his lips on your own.
“Ah there she is, my sweet girl, the one who’s so polite to me,” he hums, nosing at the skin of your cheek.
“Don’t be mean, not after kissing me like that,” you reply.
He laughs lightly and goes to place you back on your feet, but you cling to him, wanting a hug. He lets you hang on, but he sighs out in faux annoyance. You tuck your head under his, resting your forehead against him.
You mumble into his chest, “Still annoyed that you left me here to deal with them all.”
“Probably for the best, you are more patient than I.”
“Would’ve been nice to have you here, I was super embarrassed,” you shake your head into his chest.
“My offer to kill them still stands,” he’s joking, mostly.
Pulling your face from his chest, you laugh in response, “No, thank you.” It’s quiet for a moment, and then you remember, “I still have something I want to show you.”
He looks at you with a suggestive look on his face, “and what’s that?”
“Nothing like that,” you frown at him, he knows already, he’s just trying to get a rise out of you.
He chuckles at you and pecks your lips, “Show me later? After lunch?”
“Sounds good,” you smile at him.
His eyes glint with mischief, “There is something I would like to see right now,” he remarks, moving to the bed and laying you down on it. He’s on top of you, straddling your outer thighs, keeping you still underneath him.
“Bi-Han, do we really have time for this?” You ask, not completely upset with where this is heading.
He smirks at you, “I do.”
And then he’s pulling your shirt off, a gasp pulled from you as his head dips to leave more marks on your chest, lips trailing to your breasts. He sucks harshly against your soft skin, nibbling at the tissue on your breasts. He takes a nipple into his mouth and flicks it with his tongue, the stimulation has you whimpering, chest rising towards him in response.
His large hands grip you, holding your ribcage still as he works at your nipple, he parts from you, making a popping noise as he does.
“Got perfect tits, missed them,” he hums, moving to your other breast.
His mouth is cold, you think he’s doing it purposefully. Either way, its enhances the pleasure he’s giving you. One of his hands grabs at your other breast, fondling it, tugging at the nipple. The moans that want to escape are being held back only by sheer will, which is slowly falling away.
Pulling back, he sits up a bit, looking at your rapidly rising and falling chest. His eyes holding anything but pure thoughts, both of his hands grope at your tits, he’s toying with you. Enjoying your growing need for him, you go to say something about it, but his fingers start pulling at both your nipples, it has you sighing a moan and forgetting what you wanted to say in the first place.
He’s proud of himself, rendering you speechless just from the way he plays with your tits, and if he wasn’t touching you in such a divine way, you just might curse him out about it.
“Such a pretty little thing,” he coos at you.
“We have to go to lu–hah–nch,” you gasp out.
“In a moment,” he says.
It’s going to be more than a moment and you know it, just based off the almost feral look on his face, and by the way one of his hands leaves your chest to travel down your body. Cupping your pussy over your pants, he massages you before spreading your pussy lips to rub at your clit through the material of your pants. You squirm at the stimulation, huffing out quiet whimpers as he rubs at you.
He's about to say something, probably something obscene but it’s cut off by a knock on his door. A voice follows it, “Lunch is ready,” it’s Kuai’s voice, he sounds… weary.
Bi-Han rolls his eyes, you know he’s going to say something nasty so you cut in over him, “Thank you, Kuai, we will be there in a moment.” You keep your eyes locked with Bi-Han as you say it.
Kuai hums his acknowledgement and walks away.
You go to sit up, but Bi-Han places a hand on your sternum and pushes you back down, “Hold on, wanna look at you for a moment more.”
His words make your heart jump, but you tell him, “You can look at me plenty, later.”
Groaning, he pulls you up and off the bed, you smile up at him. Standing on your tippy toes, you give him a kiss and he hums into it.
“Watch it, I’ll keep you here.” He warns.
You giggle a little at his threat, it doesn’t feel intimidating at all, it makes you feel hot. Everything he does increases your temperature; it really is ironic considering.
He reaches for your discarded shirt, and you hold your arms up in the air, waiting for him pull it over your head. Instead, he stands there, holding your shirt and staring at your tits. Sighing at him you give him a ‘really?’ look. He does ultimately put your shirt back on you, he’s careful when he does. Not wanting to be too rough as he redresses you. It has you feeling weak for him, he’s always so careful with you, in little ways.
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” he groans out, not looking forward to eating with everyone. He’d much rather stay here and have his way with you.
Taking his hand in yours, you both walk to the eating area together.
❆˖°
Lunch is… awkward. Everyone is side eyeing you and Bi-Han, he sat down beside you today. He doesn’t usually sit next to you, but now that everyone knows, he did. That introduced issues with the seating though, not the first ones to be fair. But Johnny and Kenshi aren’t allowed to sit either next to or in front of each other anymore, on account of their arguments that turn into kicking under the table.
So, Johnny is in his assigned seat next to you and Kenshi usually sits on your other side, but now he is sitting next to Bi-han. You can tell Bi-Han is unhappy with this, on all fronts, but mostly that Johnny is next to you. Though, if Johnny were to sit next to Bi-Han, you’d worry he’d say something to get bodily harmed, so you argued to keep him next to you. Furthering Bi-Han’s hatred for Johnny, but making Johnny feel special, which was not your intention.
But that is how you end up feeling very uncomfortable, the table is tense, and everyone is sharing looks with each other.
“Am I missing something?” Tomas says.
Oh God, no one has told Tomas, Johnny chokes back laughs beside you and you shoot him a look, telling him that he is specifically not allowed to tell him.
“We’re fucking,” Bi-Han says, motioning between the two of you.
Tomas has a shocked expression on his face, tinging pink as makes eye contact with you.
You have to take a deep controlled breath, your eye twitches with annoyance. Maybe it was better that Bi-Han wasn’t here the other night.
Head snapping to the side, you look at him, your expression one of pure anger, why would he say it like that? And why would he say it like that to Tomas???
He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t find anything wrong with what he said, “have been for a couple weeks.” Bi-Han looks up for a second, thinking, “in the courtyard, my room, her room..”
“Shut up, Bi-Han!” You say it in a hushed and urgent tone.
Johnny is trying so hard not to laugh but he finds what Bi-Han said so ridiculous and out of character that he can’t help but crack up.
Doing some more controlled breathing, you sit completely still and calmly say, “Johnny, if you don’t stop laughing, I am going to hit you.”
“Stop warning people, puts you at a disadvantage,” Bi-Han tells you, completely unbothered. You don’t think he realises he’s in trouble.
“I appreciated the warning,” Johnny interjects.
Ignoring the both of them, you attempt to control your blood pressure, how is this worse than the other night?
“Is that a comment from experience, Bi-Han?” Kuai asks.
Bi-Han looks at him, he doesn’t answer but his silence says plenty. Kuai looks amused at this development, finding it funny you tried to punch Bi-Han but gave him a warning first.
Kenshi adds to the conversation, “He’s right, if you actually want to land a hit, no warning.” He tells you.
“But that’s not nice, I don’t actually want to hurt someone,” you huff out. You give warnings for a reason, to give them a chance to correct the behaviour.
Bi-Han smirks beside you and says quietly, “sweet.”
Your lips downturn at Bi-Han, he’s made this much more messy.
“Was I the only one that didn’t know?” Tomas asks.
“Yes,” Bi-Han says, he continues to eat his lunch.
You tell Bi-Han, “You aren’t allowed to talk anymore,” Before addressing everyone, “I will talk, you will all listen.”
Everyone sits quietly, waiting for you, “Bi-Han and I like each other, we have been… together for almost a couple weeks now, I am not going to share intimate details of our sex lives,” you shoot Johnny and Bi-Han incriminating glances, “Tomas you are last to know, Kuai found out first and the others found out while you were gone.”
Tomas looks at Kuai, offended that he didn’t tell him about you and Bi-Han, you’d feel bad, but it wasn’t really any of their businesses anyhow. The only person you felt bad for was Kuai and that’s because he heard the two of you.
“We are adults, so I think we can all accept this and move on, yes?” You ask.
As you look around the table, they all share their agreeance, all except Bi-Han, who is still completely unbothered, eating lunch.
Liu Kang looks like he feels bad for you, “Your relationship is between the two of you, we will not pry any further,” he says very gently, trying to salvage the situation.  
“Yes, we are all sorry for being invasive,” Kung Lao says, very pointedly targeting Johnny with his tone.
“Don’t fault me for being curious! It’s an odd dynamic,” Johnny argues.
“It is not any of our business,” Raiden adds.
Bi-Han looks Johnny dead in the eyes, “She lets me do what I want, and she enjoys it, creams ar–”
“Bi-Han!” You cut him off, your face on fire. He looks at you, you have a very strained smile on your face as you say, “stop. talking.”
His eyes widen slightly, realising he’s upset you; he goes to speak more.
“No,” you say simply, shutting down further conversation. Your lunch has been finished and so you stand up abruptly, “Don’t follow me.” You tell him as you walk away.
Everything is silent as you leave, no one daring to talk.
Your plans for this evening have been ruined, you had something to show Bi-Han and you really aren’t in the head space for it now. In all honesty, you might be overreacting, but it doesn’t change how you feel right now, you need a moment to calm yourself.
❆˖°
Leaving the dining area has you feeling better, your skin felt like it was on fire. From both embarrassment and anger. You don’t know what was wrong with Bi-Han to be so upfront, the first time Kuai asked about your sex life he almost bit his head off and he didn’t even outright ask.
Now he is willing to tell everyone far more details – too many details. You need an hour or so, to process everything and calm down. Bi-Han knows how embarrassed you can get so it was unkind of him to be so blunt in front of everyone. The only thing you can think of is that he seemed a little on edge, maybe that’s why he said it the way he did but then why take it out on you?
The result is the same though, you’re upset with him. It was already uncomfortable for you, and you wanted him to help. It didn’t even seem like he tried to help, jumping straight to the nuclear option.
Going back to your room isn’t an option, you told him not to follow you, but you know he’ll be looking for you anyways. The first place he’ll look will be your room, then enlightenment rock, and probably most of the grounds. You decide to go somewhere he doesn’t know about, it’s a flower field that’s dead, has been all winter, the cold killing them and causing them to wilt.  
It’s where you wanted to bring him, but you decide to go there now, knowing it will take him a while to find you here. Biding your time, because talking to him right now won’t go well… for you. Talking things out directly after they’ve happened never ends well for you because if you haven’t had time to decompress, to get perspective, you might become overly defensive, or mean. And the last thing you want is to be mean to Bi-Han, not if he doesn’t deserve it.  
So, you sit in the middle of this flower field, allowing yourself to breathe in the air. What has happened, has already happened and you can’t undo it. But when you are ready you can talk to Bi-Han and try to understand how he was feeling in that moment. Sometimes you hate this about yourself, but you always think about the why. Why did he feel the need to say that, why did he choose that moment to say that, why doesn’t he seem to care, even though it embarrassed you.
Opening your eyes, you take in the flower field; it must have been so vibrant when it was blooming. It would’ve looked so, so alive. The beauty of nature and how flourishing it can look, how vivacious naturally occurring colours can be.
It never ceases to amaze you, when you think of how – just like people, nature needs the right environment to truly bloom and share its beauty with the world. You think Bi-Han is like a flower field, no one sees how beautiful he is, they don’t give him the right circumstances. But in small moments together, when you compliment him, or look at him with the most softest gaze, he blooms for you, and it is magnificent.
It takes him about an hour, but he does find you. You can’t tell if he’s pissed or relieved when he sees you. He walks right up to you, where you’re sitting in the middle of the flower field.
“I have been looking everywhere for you,” he says, straining himself to stay calm. Not wanting to worsen his situation.
“I know, I have been waiting for you,” you tell him, and then you pat the ground beside you, wanting him to sit.
He sighs but he sits down beside you anyways, “Why are you waiting for me in the middle of a dead field?”
“It’s what I wanted you to see,” you don’t look at him.
He’s looking at you though, intently, “Why would I want to look at a dead flower field?”
You smile to yourself, because yeah, who would want to look at a dead flower field. No one cares when the flowers are already dead, but when the time comes back around, this field will be gorgeous, and people will care then.
You ignore his question, instead asking him your own, “Bi-Han, you were rude tonight, and you embarrassed me, in front of my friends, why?”
“I… don’t really know, I was in a… bad mood and answered thoughtlessly, my intention wasn’t to embarrass you,” he’s struggling to tell you how he felt, this isn’t the type of confrontation he’s used to.
“It wasn’t your intent, but it was a consequence of your actions,” you tell him how it is. Sometimes people don’t mean to hurt you but that doesn’t change the fact that they did.
There is only one thing he offer you right now and he knows it, but you don’t really know if he’s capable of it. You think if this was anyone else, you wouldn’t hold their hand through this, but you don’t think Bi-Han is used to trying to make things better after he messes up. That and you think it could’ve been worse.
So, you ask him, “Why were you in a bad mood, Bi-Han?”
“I was… jealous, again,” he looks to the sky before continuing, “that Cage, he already pissed me off the other day by flirting with you, and then his invasive questioning of our sex life, and then he gets to sit beside you at the table, after being a little–”
“–Okay I can see that this is more of a culminative thing, rather than just earlier,” you gather pretty quickly he still isn’t really over what happened and everything else is just adding fuel to the fire.
You can understand his annoyance with Johnny, because you’ve been annoyed with Johnny, you just haven’t had the chance to properly ask him to stop, but you know if you do, he will. You’re going to have to prioritise talking with Johnny but that’s not to say all the blame is on him, Bi-Han still messed up out of jealousy.
“Tomas didn’t deserve being told like that,” you say, gently. You feel bad for Tomas, stuck in the crosshairs of Bi-Han’s anger.
He grunts at you, not agreeing but not willing to argue with you over it.
You sit beside him silently, giving him time to figure out what to say next. You can understand, kind of, how he is feeling.
He sighs beside you, “Will you look at me… please?” He asks tentatively.
Turning to look at him in the eyes you can see he does seem to feel bad about letting his anger get ahead of him.
“I misspoke and I am sorry,” it’s all he says, but it’s all you really need.
You don’t need him to overexplain himself, it undoes an apology in a way, trying to argue for yourself rather than just coping to your mistake.
“It’s not okay, but I understand,” you reply.
You both sit in silence again, you decide to break it with a joke, “You didn’t kill them, did you?”
He hums, “No, but I considered it.” He’s also joking, you think.
His hand moves slightly closer to you, you think he wants to touch you but is worried you’ll pull away. Shuffling your body closer to him, you take his hand in yours. He relaxes slightly at the contact.
“What did you want to show me?” He’s curious now.
You smile up at him, “If I show you this, you have to tell me something about yourself, it can be anything, but something no one else knows.”
He seems a bit hesitant, “Better be worth it.”
Letting go of his hand you adjust yourself so you’re sitting on your knees, turning to Bi-Han you see he’s watching you, “Don’t watch me, watch the flowers.”
He rolls his eyes, “There aren’t any flowers.”
“Just – watch,” you remark.
He huffs but looks out to the field, you turn forward again and place your hands on the ground. You focus your energy on the field, breathing slowly, you hear nothing – feel nothing. The field is dead, but as you release your feelings into the ground through your hands, you can hear the flowers sing to you as they come back to life.
Colours blooming all around you, the flowers standing tall as you thaw the Earth and allow the flowers to flourish. The sounds and feelings of the Earth coming back to life run through you, the afternoon sun hanging low in the sky falling on your face.
After the whole field is back to its most vibrant form, you sit back and look out at it. It’s not something you’ve attempted to do before, not on a large scale like this. You’ve brought back house plants and listened to the way the Earth hums, but you’ve never tried to bring back a dead field.
Looking over at Bi-Han, you see he’s looking out to the field, stunned at all the flowers you brought back in one go. You’ve not shown or really told anyone about your ability, only Liu Kang knows, and you didn’t exactly tell him. You don’t tend to tell people because it’s not something you feel is especially helpful in combat. Not like fire, or ice, you’re in tune with nature, you feel a deep connection to it, but it doesn’t go much further than that, as far as you can tell anyways.
“It’s beautiful,” Bi-Han says.
You ask, “Is it worth it?”
“Yes,” he has a small smile on his face as he turns to look at you.
Motioning for you to come closer, you move from where you are sitting and crawl over to him, flowers brushing against your skin as you do.
When you’re within reach he pulls you down to him and hugs you to his chest. You fall into his lap sideways, your legs over to one side as you sit on him, you look up at him but he’s looking out to the field. You tuck your head under his chin, ear resting against his chest. His arms are wrapped around you, holding you close as you sit on his lap.
He sighs from above you before speaking, “I trained hardest, out of Kuai Liang and Tomas… I was the eldest and next in line for Grandmaster… and I was pushed harder, given less leeway by my father. And I hold resentment towards them all, because I didn’t get the same experiences as them, I was being forged into the Lin Kuei’s weapon. They were children first and… they had each other.”
That’s the sadness you knew was there, the loss of a childhood, of brotherly connection, of any connection. This isn’t something you can relate to; you don’t know how to help him with this.
“I want to help… how can I help you?” You ask him, pulling back to look him in the eyes.
One of his hands cups your cheek, holding you tenderly, “You have been, you being beside me helps plenty.”
You lean into his hand, enjoying his touch.
He speaks, asking you, “Now you tell me something no one else knows.”
“I already showed you,” a small smile is present on your lips.
He isn’t satisfied with that, and you knew he wouldn’t be, “Doesn’t count.”
You huff out, “Mmm let me think.”
Leaning your head back on his chest, you ponder for a moment on what you could share with him.
“Sometimes, I worry that I am useless… like even when I try to be helpful, whether it be through my actions, insight, advice, anything… that it is not helpful. And I worry that I am only worthy of taking up space if I can be of service…” You pause for a moment before finishing, “I feel undeserving of the space I take up.” You bare your soul to him, because you truly feel that you’re not allowed to exist if you can’t offer anything in return.
His embrace tightens around you a fraction, “You are so useful, sweet girl and even if you weren’t, I’d want you all the same.”
His words effect you deeper than you would have expected them to, you tear up slightly at the affirmation that he wants you, useful or not. You tuck your head into his chest further, rubbing your eyes on his shirt to get rid of your tears before they fall.
Both of his hands pull your head back, looking into your teary eyes. His expression is so soft for you, filled with so much kindness, an expression you wouldn’t have thought him capable of a couple weeks ago.
“Sweet, sweet girl, my sweet girl,” he hums out, before leaning in and kissing you.
It’s a tender thing, he has no ulterior motives behind it, he just wants to gently kiss you. Wants to be connected to you. You accept the kiss, letting him do with you as he pleases, your mind filling with nothing but thoughts of how soft his lips are. How kind he is to you, how much you would be willing to sacrifice for him. Oh yeah, he’s stuck with you now, you think.
When you part from each other, he lays down on his back, taking you with him. You’re both laying on a bed of flowers, you roll off him and instead tuck into his side, he rolls to his side too, so he can look at you.
You tell him, “I think you’re a lot like this flower field, it’s why I wanted to show it to you.”
“And how exactly am I like a flower field,” he raises an eyebrow at you.
“Because, you’re beautiful when you bloom,” you say it with no shame, meaning every word spoken.
He looks a little flush in the face at your words, “kind words will get you into my bed.” He changes the subject.
You laugh at him but complain, “I have more questions.”
His head rolls back in an overdramatic way, he groans as he does, “Fine.”
“Favourite colour?” You ask.
“Blue,” he says.
You look doubtful of his answer, “Really?”
“Yes, what’s yours?” He turns the question on you.
Smiling at him you say, “The brown of your eyes.”
You’re mostly teasing him, but you also can’t think of any colour prettier than the colour of his eyes right now. The way the sun is setting is lighting his eyes up into a beautiful, honeyed brown and you think you could fall into them and die happy.
He rolls his eyes at you, “Flatterer.” He shakes his head at you, “Next question.”
“Mmm, who’s the smartest person you’ve ever met?”
He thinks on it for a moment, his face telling you that he doesn’t think he’s met any smart people, before his expression shifts as he has an answer, “My mother.”
That’s really sweet of him you think, he’s a mama’s boy.
“How about you?” He asks.
“Me,” you say, big smile on your face.
“What a cop out.” He complains but his eyes are alight with an amused look.
“I am asking the next question,” he says.
“Go ahead.”
You’re happy he’s actually getting invested in this little game, this is something you’ve wanted for a while now. Getting to know him is some of the most fun you’ve had in a while.
He considers what to ask, not realising how difficult it is to pick a question to ask off the top of your head, he eventually settles on, “What is your favourite feeling?”
“Oh, easy, earlier when I brought the field back it was silent because the flowers were dead but when I brought them back, it’s like they sing and the singing of life itself is beautiful.” You answer him enthusiastically.
You think about it for a moment more and decide to be very open, “And, when you look at me, it sends a shiver down my spine… that I’ve grown to enjoy.” The confession has you feeling bashful.
“That’s cute,” he pinches your cheek before the hand trails down your body and lands on your hip, gripping you there, “My favourite feeling is your tight little cunt wrapped around–”
“–Oh my god, do you think about anything else?” You exasperate.
His laugh is distracted as he shrugs at you, “Sometimes.”
You change the subject and ask him another question, “Favourite place?”
“Next to you… or inside you,” he changes the subject right back.
You groan at him and push him off his side and flat onto his back. He chuckles as he’s falling back.
The rest of the afternoon is spent together in that flower field, talking with each other and recounting old memories. Talking about anything and everything as the sun goes down. You think that this will always be one of your favourite memories, even if it did start with you being pissed off with him.
❆˖°
When you both return, you part ways, Bi-Han has to speak with Liu Kang and have a proper debrief about the mission. You on the other hand, want to shower and clean off the dirt and pollen on your clothes. Bi-Han promised to come to your room when he was done though.
On the way back to your room you, mercifully, don’t run into anyone and make it back without your mood being ruined.
The shower is such a welcome delight, cleansing yourself of the day and all the difficulties that came with it is a wonderful thing to be able to do. And when you’re done, you get to pamper yourself by moisturising and putting on comfortable pjs. It isn’t often that you get to wear some of your own clothes from before you were here, so it’s always nice when you get the chance to.
It’s also a bonus that you packed a matching set, ironically, it’s blue – you wonder if Bi-Han will notice or care. It’s very cute that his favourite colour is blue, something that you think, yeah is obvious but you didn’t know if he wore blue because of the Lin Kuei, his aesthetic, or if he liked it. Having him answer questions has given you some clarity and insight into him as a person and you feel so giddy about it.
You fiddle around your room, tidying away some of your belongings. Cleaning up the small messes that have been built up over the course of a few days. You’re stuffing around with some trinkets when there’s a knock on the door, it startles you and you fumble with the small jewellery box you’re holding, it falls onto the ground in front of the dresser.
You answer who you assume is Bi-Han first, “Come in,” you call out before ducking down to the ground.
On your hands and knees, picking up some of the jewellery that had scattered on the floor, you notice an earring slipped under the dresser and you arch your back, bending down further to reach under and get it, as your face gets closer to the ground to look, you realise a ring has slipped under further than the earring.
You can hear the door slip open and closed from behind you, “Are you kidding me?” Bi-Han groans out from behind you.
You hum in question at him, grasping the earring and then attempting to get a hold of the ring, it’s just barely out of reach.
Bi-Han comes closer, standing directly behind you, watching you struggle to reach the ring, “Great view,” he comments.
Ignoring him, you arch forward a tiny bit more and he whistles at you from behind, you roll your eyes at him and then your annoyance is replaced with a feeling of victory as you finally get the bloody thing out from under the dresser.
Sitting back up you lean on your knees, holding the two small pieces of jewellery up in triumph, you pack all of the spilt trinkets back into their box and stand up, placing it back on the dresser.
As you turn around, you’re met with the sight of Bi-Han in his night robe, his hair down, he seemingly has also just showered. Not to be overly dramatic but, you might die just from looking at him.
“Hello,” you say sweetly, enamoured by the sight of him.
He shakes his head at you, “Get everything from under there? Or is there more?”
“That was all of it,” you tell him.
He hums in disapproval, “That’s a shame.”
“How was the debriefing?” You ask, curious.
His expression turns annoyed, “Mmm, it was fine, rather not have gone, it was a waste of my time.”
“You think everything is a waste of time,” you jab.
He quips back, “Not true, you aren’t a waste of my time.”
“Flatterer.”
His expression turns mischievous, “And where will flattery get me?”
“Everywhere,” you give him an innocent smile, it doesn’t match the implications of your statement.
Moving closer to you, he grabs your hips, admiring the blue pyjamas you’re wearing, “You look good in blue, should wear it more.”
“I don’t own much blue,” you comment.
He shakes his head, “We’ll have to change that.”
Reaching up your wrap your arms around his neck, you want to kiss him but he’s out of reach and you’re stretched as far as you can go. He’s purposefully not leaning down, staying out of reach. It makes you pout at him.
“What? What’s wrong now?” He asks you, playing dumb.
“Will you kiss me, please?”
His head tips to the side, pretending to have to think about it, “Mmm, okay, since you asked all pretty like.”
He leans down and kisses you, effortlessly picking you up as he does. With his hold on your hips, he carries you over to the bed. When he reaches it, he turns around, so his back is facing it, he leans down and places your feet back on the floor. He continues to kiss you, it’s filthy, his tongue in your mouth, licking at you, his teeth nibbling at your lips. You gasp against his mouth as his hands come around and grope at your ass cheeks, holding handfuls of it.
Pulling back, he whispers against your lips, “I haven’t forgotten, you’re sitting on my face, sweetie.”
Your insides twist at his statement, you’ve never sat on anyone’s face before, you’re a little nervous about it. You want to protest but his hand slips inside your shorts to grip your bare ass, and he realises.
“No panties?” He asks.
You hum, “I didn’t ah, think they would be necessary?”
“Should’ve just been completely naked and waiting for me then,” he remarks.
“Thought you might like the blue.”
He groans in response, “and I do, but I’d like it better on the floor.”
He pulls his hair back into a bun as he speaks. The small act of him tying his hair back makes your desire for him grow.
Once he’s tied his hair back, he’s harshly tugging your shorts down, they slip down your legs effortlessly with the force he pulls them down with. You don’t get time to react properly, because he’s picking you up and chucking you down on the bed. A breath is pulled from your chest as you land on it, Bi-Han is crawling over top of you, he presses a tender kiss to your lips and then he’s manhandling you again. Rolling onto his back and pulling you on top of him as he does.
You’re straddling him in this position and he’s flat on his back. You understand now, he tied his hair back, so your knees don’t pull on it. You’re apprehensive, making no moves forward, much to Bi-Han’s dismay.
He grabs your thighs and tugs you all the way to his face, “Bi-Han – wait!”
A deep groan of protest is pulled from his chest, but he stops moving you, your cunt sitting so close to his face but not close enough for him reach, also to his dismay.
He has to put in a lot of effort to tear his gaze away from your wet pussy, “What’s wrong?” He huffs.
“I’ve never done this before,” you feel timid at your admission.
“Mhmm, thas fine, I’ll take care of you, just sit on my face and let me tongue fuck you. It’ll be good, promise.”
His words serve to set your face on fire rather than any comfort he may have meant them as. But his hands slowly stroke your thighs in a comforting manner, trying to get you to relax for him.
“’Kay, Mm ready,” you mumble out.
“’Atta girl,” He taps your thighs, letting you move this time.
Gently, you travel the rest of the way forward, your cunt right above his mouth, he doesn’t take his eyes off you. Appreciating the view, it makes you bashful, the way his gaze devours you whole, eyes filled with lust.
“Sit down,” he guides.
You lower yourself slightly, not sitting on him, scared to suffocate him. He let out a sound of disapproval, “Sit. All the way down.”
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” you protest.
“Trust me this is gonna do the opposite of that.”
You go to argue with him, “but–”
He lightly slaps your thigh at your objections, “–When I say sit on my face, I mean fucking sit on it.” He growls out at you.
You still have your reservations, but you sit down on him, it still isn’t your full weight, but your pussy is right on his waiting mouth. The feeling has a small sigh coming from your lips.
Bi-Han is growing impatient under you, and he rumbles into your cunt, he’s sick of going at your pace now. His hands wrapped around your thighs grab on and tug you down, a cry of protest is pulled from your lips but he’s stronger than you and he’s pulled you into a full sitting position on his face.
His tongue laps at you, the unfamiliar feeling has you shooting forward, hands grabbing at the headboard. Bi-Han moans out from under you, the taste of you, how wet you are, the smell of you, all adding to his own arousal.
He keeps licking at you, tongue entering your pussy hole, fucking up into you, his nose rubbing against your clit. The pleasure has you seeing stars, moans falling from your lips, ones that you aren’t particularly focused on right now. Too involved in the way Bi-Han is eating your cunt to remember to be quiet.
His hands move you back and forth, encouraging you to ride his face. Your thighs shake but you get the hang of it, starting to slowly grind back and forth on his face. The breaths coming from you are stuttered, catching on the moans and whimpers you’re letting out.
It’s loud and messy, the way Bi-Han eats you out, obscene slurping noises filling the room, your slick all over his face and between your thighs. As your hips gain more confidence, Bi-Han slips his tongue from your hole, flattening it against your cunt, letting you glide across it.
The new feeling has a particularly loud whimper pulling from your chest, he groans at the sounds your making, both your moans and the sound of your very wet cunt. This was all he could think about on the mission, and it was very distracting.
His hands stay on your thighs, helping your rock against his face and tongue. Your own hands grip the headboard tighter, your grinding speeding up, chasing your high that is right there.
Bi-Han groans into your cunt, loving the way you’re desperately humping his face. If you had any thoughts other than how good the pleasure feels, you’d be so embarrassed over how desperately you’re chasing your high. Using this beautiful man’s face to get yourself off.
His hands grab at your ass, spreading you cheeks and playing with the globes of your ass. Your moans increase in pitch and frequency, so fucking close, you just keep rutting against his tongue and nose. And when he hums and groans into your pussy again, you keel over, the force of the orgasm unexpected, a short cry pulled from your lips at the feeling.
Bi-Han encourages your grinding as you come down, licking up everything you gave him, the lewd slurping noises not stopping as he sucks at your cum. Eventually, you pull away, it has to be you that pulls away because Bi-Han would stay between your legs until the Earth imploded.
Shuffling back down his body, you sit on his lap, and he sits up, making sure you stay exactly where you are as he rests his back against the headboard, where you were just gripping. If you weren’t both so consumed by each other, you’d probably notice the light scratches your nails left in the wood.
Bi-Han has the most proud smile on his face, “perfect little cunt, always so sloppy and wet for me, could die between your legs and would die a happy man.”
You’re still a little fucked out from the orgasm he gave you, “Always say the most lewd things, Bi-Han.”
“Sue me for loving my girls pretty cunt.” He shrugs at you.
You crawl closer to him and press your chest to his, laying your head on his shoulder, “Thank you.”
He chortles at your comment, “For what?”
“Mm, good orgasm.”
“The day I don’t give you a good orgasm, kill me.” He says in the most serious tone.
You chuckle at him, he’s so silly, “Could never kill you.” You mumble against his skin, “Like you too much.”
He hums at your words, “Don’t tell me you’re already all fucked out?”
You shake your head, “Gimmie like 3 minutes.”
He huffs out an amused breath, but cradles you to him, hands stroking your back. As his hands move up and down your back, he decides he wants your top off and so he pulls it off. You let him, lifting your arms to make it easier for him.
Before you lay back against his chest, you pull his robe open to expose his chest, craving the skin-to-skin contact. You don’t notice but he’s watching you with so much affection, finding your movements adorable.
His hands hold onto your hips, giving you time to regather your faculties, but he’s growing impatient, as per usual. His hips rise slowly, mostly on their own accord, searching for your cunt. When he grinds up into you, his dick twitches in response, a groan pulling from him.
“Can’t wait any longer,” he declares.
He pulls your hips down to meet his, grinding your naked pussy into his dick, barely covered by his robe. Pulling away slightly, you untie his robe and open it properly, his cock pulsing and waiting for you.
Which you do make a comment about, “So needy, Bi-Han.”
“Don’t be a tease,” he grunts, not enjoying the switch in dynamic.
You hum out to him. Grabbing his cock, you leisurely pump it, giving him stimulation but nowhere near enough for his liking. His hand wraps around your own, tightening your grip under his, and he starts fucking into both your hands. His head tipping back against the headboard, groans and grunts slipping from his lips.
The sight is something to behold, your pussy drooling at the image of him fucking into your hand, head rolling back from the pleasure.
“Mmm, so pretty Bi-Han,” you comment, his cock jumping at the compliment, you smile to yourself at his reaction.
“Need your – ngh – creamy little – cu – nt – hah.” Words broken up by his gasps of pleasure.
You move your pussy right over his cock, his hand pulls away from yours in favour of gripping your hips, trying to hurry you along.
Your grip lets go of his dick, “Bi-Han, lemme do this,” you huff.
“Alright, jus – hurry up,” he groans.
Slipping the head inside is a whole ordeal, not having been fucked by him in a few days, you have to open yourself on his cock all over again. Moving down until you’re just taking the tip, Bi-Han sighs at the minute relief.
Your hole flutters on the tip of his cock, Bi-Han chokes at the feeling, “Ffffucken hell,” he grinds out.
You pull off him completely, before sliding back down and taking more of him. Bi-Han is biting his lip and clenching his hands into fists beside him, trying so hard to just let you do this at your own pace.
And you do take your own pace, pulling off him again but not sliding back down him, instead you lean down and spit onto the head of his dick, Bi-Han’s eyes watching you very intently. Groaning loudly when you grip him with your hand and stroke your spit up and down his length.
His cock wasn’t wet enough for you, but it is now, you reposition yourself and fuck yourself down onto him, nearly halfway. Your cunt spasming around his dick is like a gut punch to him, his self-restraint being tested in a very cruel way tonight.
Pulling up slightly, you keep him inside you, fucking yourself up and down on half of his cock, whimpers being ripped from your mouth at the way he fills you. Bi-Han has to tear his gaze away from where your pretty little cunt is sucking him in, afraid he’ll cum now, before he’s all the way inside. Not a fear he used to have but the way you grip him is so heavenly, he thinks he remembers, but then the next time he’s inside you it’s brand new again.
“Bi-Han, can you help please?” You ask, needing help getting to the hilt of him.
“Gods, fucken finally,” his voice is strained.
His hands hold onto your hips, picking your body up and down, helping you fuck down onto his cock. The way he manhandles you like a doll makes you dizzy. His grunts low in pitch as he fucks up into you, pulling you down at the same time. He’s still holding back, being as gentle as his resolve is allowing, not wanting to hurt you.
With Bi-Han’s help you take him completely, you’re sitting in his lap, taking his big cock, full to the brim of him. You slap his hands off your hips, wanting to do this yourself. He pulls his hands back, looking forward to you attempting to fuck yourself on his massive cock without his help, he knows, just like earlier, you will ask for help. Even if you have a very cute and determined look on your face right now.
Bi-Han’s hips twitch under you involuntarily, he’s needy, needs you to move, “C’mon sweetie, need yo – hah – u to move.”
“’ve never ridden someone before, gimmie a sec.”
A groan is ripped from his chest at your confession, his dick twitches inside you, loving the idea of being the first man you ride, his possessive streak making a return.
“Mm the first man you’ll ride, and I’ll be the – hah – fucken last too,” he says, grabbing your face in one hand, making you look at him.
His face makes your pussy clench around him, his eyes so needy, so possessive. The feel of your cunt makes him groan out. Hesitantly, you lift your hips upwards, leaving just the tip inside you before dropping back down all at once. It rips a moan from both you and Bi-Han, you almost go cross eyed, not expecting it to feel like that. He feels so much deeper than the other times, you feel so much fuller. Your cunt leaks around him an obscene amount, making a mess of his lap.
The absolute filth of the display makes you lightheaded, your eyes wet from pleasure and all you’ve mostly done is sit on it. Bi-Han’s ego grows tenfold at the sight of you, he’s going to make a smart-ass comment, but you lift all the way up again before dropping all at once. His moan is needy, so is yours.
You whimper as you keep that pace, slowly pulling up, leaving just the tip inside before dropping on him all at once, punching a moan out of him every time you do. All you’re really doing is working the both of you up, but you want to see if he’ll break, and he’s waiting for you to ask for his help.
Bi-Han is using every fibre of his being to hold onto his control, loving the way your face contorts as you spear yourself open on his cock. Loving your big wet eyes, you almost look like you’ll cry and it’s driving him feral.
His eye contact is so intense, you go to look away from him, but he tuts, “Ah, keep looking at me sweet girl, wanna see the moment – hah – you start crying from how good my cock fills you.”
You look back into his eyes, overwhelmed by everything. You stop your previous rhythm and instead hold him still inside you, clenching down on him. You can’t keep up that other pace, so you hold him inside you, and grind down into his pelvis, the contact on your clit has you gasping and fluttering around him.
Bi-Han’s head rolls back at the feeling, eyes going with it, his hips grinding up into your cunt. The sight of him alone has you deciding to cave, you don’t care anymore.
“Bi-Han, please… help.”
“Thank the – hah – ffffucken Gods!” He exclaims, gripping your hips tightly.
He plants his feet on the mattress and then he’s simultaneously pulling you up and down his cock and fucking it up into you. You actually do start crying from the pleasure, finally getting a consistent feeling of him moving inside you has you going brain dead. Eyes glazing over, still open but not seeing.
The image of your face switching into a fucked dumb expression and tears falling from your eyes brings Bi-Han immense satisfaction and pleasure, nearly blowing his load at the look on your face alone. The whimpers and whines coming from you not helping either.
Your nails scratch at his bare chest, your pleasured noises coming consistently, you don’t think you could speak even if you tried so you don’t even bother trying. Just let yourself get fucked down onto his big dick.
You’re cumming first, and you’re cumming hard. Pussy squeezing Bi-Han so tightly his pace slows, his need doesn’t though, he keeps fucking you through it.
He encourages you, praising you, “Look so fucken – hah – pretty cumming on my cock, Fffuck look at you – ngh.”
His thrusts neither slow down nor stop, he’s still fucking you like there’s no tomorrow, his cock aching with need, twitching violently inside you, his own thighs spasming slightly.
“Bi-Han you’re so – mmm – beautiful when you’re – hah – close, wanna put you – fffgh – in my mouth,” you tell him, making mindless horny comments as he gets closer to his own high.
“Oh – FFFFUCK!” He cums with a shout, it's sudden and catches him off guard.
Your mention of wanting to suck his dick arousing him to the point of orgasm, he grasps your hips and pulls you down, grinding you into his pelvis as he fills you with all his hot, sticky cum. The feeling of him filling you up making your cunt twitch around him, your thighs shaking.
He looked so good as he came, skin glistening with sweat, abs clenching as he twitched, his own thighs shuddering with his orgasm.
“You look really hot when you cum,” you inform him.
His dick jerks inside you at the compliment, “You look hotter.”
You lightly grind your hips down more, overstimulating him slightly, his response is a needy whine, his hands stop you from moving, “Gonna have to give me a second if you wanna go again.”
Moving forwards, you press your chest to his, skin to skin contact making your heart soar.
Humming you say, “Jus wanna keep you inside me.”
“Fucken – I truly think you’re trying to kill me sometimes.” He complains, though not really, he enjoys the things you say to him.
You press a kiss against his neck before you decide to give him a hickey, sucking into the pulse point on his neck, nipping at it as you pull away. Bi-Han doesn’t say anything and so you add another, to the front of his throat, and then one on his collar bone, and the other side of his neck. You keep sucking marks into his neck, chest, anywhere you can reach, when you’re finished, you lick up the length of his neck and take his lips in your own.
The kiss tastes like his skin and your cunt, he grabs the back of your head and shoves his tongue into your mouth. His kiss is fervent, filled with need and lust, you moan into it and his cock twitches to life inside you.
He grinds his hips up into you, but you refuse to move, keeping him still inside you, keeping yourself busy with his lips. He pulls you away with the grip he has on the back of your head, pulling you by the hair. You huff out at the loss of his lips.
“Now look what you’ve fucken done,” he says, referring to his painfully hard dick pushing up against your cervix.
You feel like you might melt around his cock, pussy creaming around him. You look him in the eyes, giving him an innocent smile but he knows better.
He pulls you off him, ignoring your whines of protest, and lays you on the bed, flat on your stomach. His hands spread your ass cheeks, looking at his own cum spilling out of your pussy hole. He groans at the sight, never not enjoying the image of you filled with his cum.
Grabbing one of your pillows, he lifts your hips and slides it under them, elevating your lower half slightly. He removes his robe completely, chucking it to the floor. Leaning down, he lays over your back, skin to skin, he enters you from behind in this position.
Fucking into you slowly, fucking his cum back into you. Your whines and sighs soft, enjoying the tempo he’s set. It feels intimate, his hands travel to your own, interlocking your fingers as he leisurely fucks into you from behind. Quiet groans and grunts falling from his lips at the feel of your slippery cunt. His cum is leaking back out of you onto the sheets.
His cock drags in and out of you at a slow pace, one that is pleasurable but as you get needier, you crave him harder, deeper.
Your need evident in your drooling cunt, lower halves getting slicker as time slips by, “More, please – hah – Bi-Han.”
“No, take it like this, greedy little thing,” he groans out from above you.
It feels like he fucks you like that forever, so close to the edge but never tipping you over it, his hands eventually travel back to your hips, he pulls your knees up so you’re resting on them and not your stomach. His pace picking up at the change in position, unleashing a punishing pace.
Skin slapping skin filling the room, along with the absolutely lewd, wet squelching sounds of your pussy. Getting fucked so well on him, fucking you back on himself, moving you how he pleases. Your face is pushed into the mattress and you’re dribbling against the linen, tears streaming down your cheeks again, the overstimulation almost too much.
Bi-Han is grunting and groaning above you, the most feral noises coming from him, you realise in this moment what he’s attempting to do right now, and you go to crawl away from him, not wanting to make an even bigger mess.
He growls out at you in disapproval, “You’re going nowhere – hah – sweet girl, gonna have you squirting on me again, ffffuck–”
“Mhmm, too messy,” you shake your head against the bed.
“You’re always messy, sweetie, got the creamiest ffffucken – ngh – cunt.” His words make your cunt spasm around him, “Ah, getting so fucken close aren’t you?” He observes.
You shake your head at him again but one of his hands comes around to your front and he lands controlled slaps to your clit, making your cunt spasm around him even more. One particularly firm slap to your clit has you cumming with a shout, the pleasure too much, making you tingly all over.
Bi-Han is ecstatic at the view of you squirting on his cock, it pulls his own orgasm from him almost as soon as it happens, he fucks you both through it, gritting his teeth against the force of his orgasm. Shouting expletives and your name in the same sentence, his own orgasm overwhelming him. He ends up freezing a portion of the beds sheets with his momentary loss of control.
You’re puffing against the bed, on the verge of passing out from your insane orgasm. Bi-Han pulls out of you slowly, careful with you as he separates from you. His eyes lock onto your cunt and the way it's spasming from your orgasm, pushing his cum out as it does.
He's mesmerised by it for a moment, using all of his remaining self control to not lean down and lick you clean with his tongue.
“You okay, sweet girl?” Bi-Han checks in on you when he catches his breath.
You nod your head, eyes closed, “Mhmm, might pass out.” You puff out.
He chuckles at you, enjoying the tear streaks staining your cheeks, and the absolute fucked out look on your face.
He tucks your hair out of your face and leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He leaves and comes back with a wet cloth, wiping up the mess between your legs. You’re mostly out of it but when you come back to, he’s redressed you in your blue pyjama set, he’s also back in his robe.
He’s lying beside you in the bed, carefully watching your face.
“Did I actually pass out?” you ask.
“Yes, was a little worried about you actually.”
You smile at him, “Cute.”
He rolls his eyes and pulls you into him, both of you on your sides facing each other, embracing. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head.
“You’re changing the sheets this time,” he comments.
“Wrong,” you say.
He groans, “What’s in it for me if I change the sheets again?”
“I’ll give you head.”
He’s all too happy with that deal, “Done.”
❆˖°
Part five
A/N: Thank you so much for reading the whole thing! This update for some reason ended up being so long which is funny because I didn’t think myself capable of writing something this long when I first started writing, like 5k was a feat for me and now I’ve just dropped a 16k fic. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it as much as the first three chapters!!! If you have any thoughts, feelings, questions, observations about the chapter, anything, feel free to message me! Requests are open and like usual after an update I will be working through a few of those before the next part <333
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boombox-fuckboy ¡ 9 months ago
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Hi!
I have been following this blog for a while now and I love using it to find new podcasts. I was wondering, if you have time, what you think is the scariest podcast you've listened to or what your favorite horror podcasts might be? Thank you, and I hope you have a great day :)
I'm so glad to have helped you find new shows!
I don't really get scared by horror podcasts (not sure why. It isn't some "I'm tough" thing, I get startled by the toaster, and it's not like I never feel unsettled or concerned or icked out at podcasts, just not scared) so I'm not sure I can give you a good answer on that one, but I'll gladly give you ten of my personal favourites instead:
Alice Isn't Dead: The podcast that got me into podcasts. A truck driver travels the USA looking for her wife, who until recently, she had thought was dead. Along the way she has all manner of strange encounters, and sees a side to the world that few truely comprehend.
Archive 81: A young archivist takes a job at a remote outpost organising and digitising a collection of tapes. On the tapes is a series of interviews and investigations made by a social worker in the 90s as she becomes familiar with a bizzare apartment building. The archivist, naturally, has an increasingly bad time. Each season is part of the same story, but they're all a bit different.
Ghost Wax: Recorded interviews conducted by the last surviving necromancer, and various people who died under seemingly otherworldly circumstances.
Hello From The Hallowoods: Supernatural and cosmic horror. A powerful and dramatic entity visits your nightmares to relay stories of the people (to varying degrees of both human and alive) who inhabit the beautiful and deadly Hallowoods. What start off as individual stories quickly connect to a larger narrative.
Hi Nay: A supernatural horror following a young woman named Mari, who's babaylan (shaman) family background draws her into helping people with various horrific supernatural problems around Toronto. Formatted as phone calls to her mother telling her what's happened.
I Am In Eskew: Often-horrific stories from a man living in something that very much wishes to be a city, and a private investigator who was, in her words, hired to kill a ghost. Many people seem to agree this one is scary.
Janus Descending: A xenoarcheologist and a xenopaleontologist are sent to investigate and sample the ruins of a long-dead alien city, and discover more than they anticipated. The format for this one is really clever: you hear her audio logs first to last, and his last to first, and the story is all the more heartbreaking for it. I'd recommend listening to the supercut.
The Lost Cat Podcast: A man befriends strange entities, loses bits of himself and drinks an awful lot of wine while looking for his cat. Soft and cosmic horror.
The Moon Crown: The shortest on this list, but also one of the most fascinating. A disgraced scribe living in a city of humans, beasts, and other bizzare entities, begins to recount recent happenings, and actions she has a hard time explaining, on broadcast. But the people she's hoping to reach might not be the ones listening.
The Silt Verses: In a modern world where gods are plentiful, both illicit and commercialised, two disciples of an outlawed river god go on a pilgrimage.
Although, maybe some other listeners can help me out and share what scared them?
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thebestofoneshots ¡ 8 months ago
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Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)
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Series Masterlist | Previous episode
Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7 K Warnings: None Prompt: It'd just one more day before it's full moon again, you must make sure you've got the smell of the pack... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp
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Chapter 38: Let the Good Times Roll
Wednesday, December 22nd. 2:15 AM
When the party was over, you went up to your room alongside Lily to change. She wasn’t talking to you yet. You tried to give her some space, but you didn’t like not being able to talk to her. You weren’t even sure if you should apologise to her, and if you did, For what? For saying nasty things to Severus? You certainly weren’t sorry about that. Maybe for implying her in? That had been unnecessary, even if you knew it would spite him. 
You sighed as you walked in, Marlene and Mary were fast asleep, and you cast a quick silencing spell over their bed so neither you nor Lily would wake them up.  You looked at the redhead as you raised your wand and she walked towards the bathroom to change, avoiding your gaze altogether. 
Your gaze fixated on the closed door, a subtle crease forming on your forehead, and after a brief, contemplative moment, you bit your lip and walked over to your trunk to find something to change into yourself, giving one last look at the door before focusing completely on your task. She was out while you finished putting on your socks, leaning down on the bed as you stared at the floor. You missed the way she looked at you, only for a split second, but it was a longing stare. 
You also didn’t notice she had walked over to your bed until you felt it dip by your side. The feeling prompted you to sit upright, turning to look at her as quickly as possible.  She seemed to be hesitant to speak so you broke the silence instead, “I’m sorry.” 
“Oh, love–” she said as her shoulders slumped. She was about to say something else, but then you interrupted her, speaking almost a little too fast as you attempted to order your thoughts at the same time as you spoke. 
“I shouldn’t have implicated you in my fight with Severus. I was very mad at him for pushing you and James but using your name and his pent-up feelings for you to piss him off was disrespectful. To you more than him. And I did not consider how it might have affected you then, and I’m really sorry if I made you upset–” 
“Hey,” she said softly, licking her lips before placing a hand on your arm, much like Remus did often. “I’m sorry too.” You let out a short, relieved breath at the contact, she doesn’t like it when we fight either.  “James told me how hard he was shoved,” she explained, “He broke most of it with his arm and the door so I wouldn’t get hurt, but you and Remus must have seen it first hand, of course, you’d be mad.” 
“It was pretty bad,” you agreed, if Lily had gotten the full extent of the blow, she might have been sore now. 
“And I shouldn’t have lashed out at you either. I’m not excusing you for saying the things you did but I wasn’t just…” she seemed to hesitate for a second, as if she wasn’t sure which words she should use. “I wasn’t just angry at you, I was angry at Severus and at how much he’s changed through the years. He’s insufferable now, and I’m sorry you had to be the one defending me against him when I should be the one standing up for myself, but you didn’t know him then, he was different.” 
“He called you a mudblood,” you said, “James a bIood traitor and Remus a–” You didn’t even dare to say it. “I shouldn’t have used you, but there will never be a moment in which I won’t defend my friends, Lily. Even if it’s from their own friends.” 
It was her turn to sigh, “I know, it’s what I admire the most from you.” 
You leaned your head to the side, a soft smile drawing itself on your lips. “I admire your noble heart,” you said. “And your ability to stay calm in these kinds of situations. You’re like Remus, all warm and calm and conciliating–” 
“Oh, come on, you’ve seen me mad plenty of times.”
“Well yes, but you still manage to keep your head cool, I mean if Severus had–” you stopped yourself, you did not want to upset her further, instead you mumbled. “Might have punched him.”
“And be the aggressive Mudblood?” she asked you, your gaze almost fell at her words. She smiled bitterly, “I don’t have the luxury to retaliate like that.” 
You swallowed thickly. “It would be more than justified I–” you sighed. And then gave her another worried look, reaching your hand to grab hers. “I never even factored that in.” 
The weight of your privilege, the one bestowed upon you by your father who was keen on keeping up appearances of bIood purity, suddenly bore down on you. The privilege of not having to worry about your abilities, or having to prove how good you were simply to belong had never been more evident to you.
Of course, you had your own battles to fight, the world was still not fair for you, for any of your friends, really. But what Lily had to go through, the kind of bigotry she was exposed to and how she had to behave because of it, made you see her in a new light. Hours ago, if anyone told you, you’d admire Lily more than you did, you would have called them mad, and here you were, looking at your beautiful redhead friend and feeling nothing but utmost admiration for her. 
She smiled at you. “Thanks for being my knight in shining armour.” 
“Thanks for being the pure heart that holds me down when I’m about to go mad,” you responded with a smile. 
And then, laughter rippled through the room, a shared moment of catharsis. You let yourself fall on the bed, both you and Lily now staring at the wooden headboards and red curtains surrounding it. “Lily,” you began, your voice carrying a genuine warmth, “I don’t want to ever lose you as a friend.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll latch onto you like a leech, I’ll be worse than Sirius even, you cannot get rid of me that easily.” 
“Not even if I hex Severus?” 
“Of course not,” she said with a laugh, but she quickly turned to look at you. “You’re not planning to hex him though, are you?” she asked in a worried tone. 
You just laughed in return. “Don’t worry about that, he’ll be suffering his own little issues tonight,” you said in a rather mysterious tone. 
She gasped, “What did you do?” 
“Me? Nothing.” You answered honestly. “In fact, it was he who stole the treat I was about to eat.” 
She threw you a look, “And you had nothing to do with it?” 
You shrugged, “Not my fault he and his gang are such gits.”  
Lily shook her head disapprovingly even if she had a smile plastered on her face. You stayed next to each other for a while. Eventually, she yawned, and you followed closely after. “You can stay on my bed if you want.” 
“Mhm?” She asked as she accommodated herself so her feet would be up on the bed and not resting on the ground like they had been previously since the two of you had been sitting on the edge, “You’re going with the boys? Because of the moon and the experiment Peter suggested, right?” 
You nodded in response, and then realised her eyes were closed, “Yes.” 
“Good night then,” she said and yawned again. You stood from the bed and brought over some covers from hers to place them on top of her since you had both laid on top of yours. As you did you leaned over to look at her and accommodated her hair behind her ear, you could see some of the freckles she always tried to hide with potions but that you found truly endearing. No wonder James liked her so much, your friend was gorgeous, but that was something you’d always known. 
You were too emotionally stirred to see the difference, while you considered both Lily and Remus your closest friends, and while you were attracted to girls, you didn’t even once look at Lily the exact same way you had looked at Remus through the night. The hunger that you felt for the latter was nothing compared to the sheer love and admiration you felt for the redhead. Two very different emotions, and they were there for two very different reasons, but you were still too blind to see. The blindfold, although slowly becoming sheerer, was still there. 
“I’m glad we’re still friends,” you whispered as you finished tucking her in. Then you made sure the rest of the girls were asleep before going back to the boy’s room. 
Now, it’s not that you were eager to go back to Remus. In fact, you thought you had ogled him enough with the horny potion still running through your system throughout the party –and it wasn’t gone entirely yet– but, just like Lily had mentioned, tomorrow was full moon. 
And while the couple of nights you had bunked with the boys had been enough, according to Remus who confirmed Vixen smelled like part of the pack, you had all agreed that the night before the full moon would be the most important. For a couple of reasons: first of all, the closer you smelled to the pack when Moony showed up, the more chances you would have to be accepted by him. Second, after the party, there was a high chance other people’s smells had been mixed in with your own, and thirdly, Remus said it would make him feel at ease knowing that Vixen smelled like nothing other than the pack. 
You wanted Remus to be at ease, especially in the particularly complicated time he had just before the moon, so you had all decided you’d meet again after the party was over. James had even lent his cloak so you could sneak out of your room and into theirs quietly. 
“What are you doing?” You heard someone whisper in your ear which had you jump a few feet back as you looked around. You had the cloak on, there was no fucking way… “Saw your door open.” The voice explained. 
You frowned, finally recognizing him, “Richie?!” 
“Boo,” he said as he became visible right in front of you, you stayed safely under the cloak.
“What– what are you doing in the Gryffindor tower?” 
“Can’t a ghost roam around freely in the castle?” He asked, with a slightly dramatic tone, ever so characteristic of him.  And then looked to the side pointing at the spot where your voice was coming from. “Kinda rude you don’t show yourself after I have.” 
You rolled your eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’m quite literally in the middle of sneaking out of my dorm at three AM, of course, I cannot step out of my hideout,” you whispered.
He hummed at that, “I still think it’s rude,” he said with a shrug. 
“How did the portrait lady let you in?” 
“She didn’t, I sneaked in. You’re not the only one with secret passages knowledge,” he said, a little haughtily. 
You gave him an incredulous look, hardly remembering he couldn’t actually see it. “And you came over because…” 
“I was bored, thought of giving the first years something to talk about in their Christmas break,” he responded with a shrug. 
“Poor kids,” you said as you shook your head in disapproval. 
“What about you?” he countered. “Why are you sneaking out at three in the morning? Are you planning a new prank with your boyfriends?” 
You couldn’t quite tell Richie what you were going to do, let alone who you were going to do it with, so it was best to just lie. “Boyfriend, and yes, something like that.” 
Richie gave the nothingness a look of incredulity, you thought it was funny that even though he was the ghost, he was the one with a slightly lost gaze as he talked exclusively to your voice. “You keep telling yourself that, little witch.” He said the last thing on purpose, he had heard Remus call you that, and he wanted to tease you over it. Maybe then you’d fucking realise what he had seen a while ago, but you and your stupid boyfriends failed to see. 
You shuddered when he said your nickname, no one used that one but Remus. Not even Sirius that seemed to have about 10 different nicknames for you. You certainly did not like the way it sounded when Richie said it. Was it because it sounded a lot more patronizing rather than endearing? Or was it only you who perceived it that way? Of course, you weren’t about to tell him that you didn’t like it when he said it, he had already teased you about nicknames in the past. You did not want to give him yet another reason to be annoying. 
You sighed. “Anyway, I’ll let you torture the poor kids, I have somewhere to be.” 
“No, wait!” Richie said as he turned to follow your voice. “Where are you going?” 
“Boys dorms,” you said honestly. He gave you a look, eyebrows raised and a suggestive smile. You would have nudged him if you could actually touch him. “For the prank you dirty-minded ghost!” 
“Of course, of course,” he said as he moved his head from side to side, brows furrowed slightly, his voice dripping with playful condescence. 
You huffed at that, worst part was, with the potion that was –now you knew– clearly not gone entirely, you had easily gone back to the thoughts of Remus and Sirius and the fact that you’d actually be sleeping next to the two of them. Your only hope left was that said potion did not emit any sort of effect on Vixen. And that your fox thoughts would be cleaner than your human ones. 
“Don’t tell anyone you saw me here,” he whispered, “McGonagall has been getting on my nerves for sneaking into the Slytherin dorms last time. They think James convinced me to do it. As if.” 
“See what?” you asked, a complicit smile etched on your features, “I’ve been soundly sleeping on my bed all night.” 
He gave a pleased look at that. “Good luck with your boys. Have fun! Take your special teas and potions and all that.” 
“Richie!” you admonished. As if you needed warmer thoughts to enter your head. Enough had been your ridiculous admiration of Remus’ torso with how tight the navy-blue shirt fit him. Enough had been the thought that you’d probably end up sleeping right over it. No, not me. Vixen, you corrected yourself. You almost regretted sacrificing yourself for James, but being honest, he would have had it much worse than you did. At least your body wasn’t going to give any physical indication of your thoughts no matter how far they escalated. And honestly, Lily did not need more emotional strain in one night either. You weren’t sure how she would react to a horny James on a normal day, but it would definitely not be positive with the toll of the night. 
Richie just shrugged, gave you a wink, and disappeared through a wall. Your eyes trailed behind as you saw him go and then started to walk towards the boys’ dorms. The hallways were dark, and you had to be extra careful not to trip on your way down the set of stairs of the girls’ dorms and up the ones on the boys’. Thankfully you had already taken that same path a good deal of times and you knew how to get from point A to point B with relative stealth. 
Once you were outside of their door you had to take a deep breath, forcing the image of shirtless Remus you had seen a while ago off your head, and walked inside. The boys knew you were coming later that night, so you trust they were all presentable. When you walked inside, you spotted James thrown on his bed, tie loose and shirt slightly unbuttoned, snoring just slightly as he was half-covered with the sheets. Peter was on his bed, perfectly tucked and with a Gryffindor beanie that clashed entirely with his purple striped pyjamas.  He is cold, you realised, you were too. The cloak had never been that warm. 
Then you spotted your boys, the boys, you corrected yourself. Fucking Richie and damn Ackley’s potion, they’d made your mind all wonky. “No use in hiding luv, we saw the door open,” Sirius said, he was on the bed next to Remus who was reading a book you hadn’t seen before. Sirius was sketching something in a small notebook. Both boys stood rather close to each other, but Remus kept his gaze on his book, respecting Sirius’ earlier wish of not snooping on his drawing, even if the temptation was gnawing at him. 
You took part of the cloak off and placed it around your shoulders. “You’re drawing,” you pointed. 
“Mhm,” Sirius said in response. “Just practising expressions.” 
“How’s it going?” 
“Surprisingly great, wanna see?” He asked. Both you and Remus looked at him with a rather surprised expression. Sirius had never allowed either of you to see his drawings, and he was now so casually offering it, that it had the two of you puzzled. 
“Sirius, are you all right?” you asked as you stepped closer to the bed, letting James’ cloak fall over Remus’ trunk as you did. 
“Did you hit your head?” Remus intervened. 
“Or took a potion?” You added as you leaned over the bed and placed your hand on his forehead to check if he had some sort of fever. 
“What?” The boy asked with a frown as he gently pulled your hand off his head. “No, I– You know what? Never mind.” 
You let a disappointed “aw” in response. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it, we were just a little surprised,” you said, even pointing at Remus, to show it wasn’t just you that had been taken aback by his offer. 
“You’ve never shown us your drawings. At least not the ones in your notebook,” Remus added. 
Sirius seemed to hesitate at that, and they were right, he never showed his art to anyone. He had tried to show it to his mother once and she had berated him with it. Telling him it was a useless waste of his time and that he should instead be perfecting his charms, that Regulus was getting ahead of him and that he was lagging behind. That, if he continued, he would lose his chance to get into Hogwarts and would end up cast out of the family like a squib. He was only 8 at the time, and since that day, his drawings, other than the doodles on his notebooks, had been kept to himself. 
Sketchbook after sketchbook, sent to him by Andromeda and sometimes even his cool uncle Alphard (who had never been too loved by his mother and who had at least kept in touch with Sirius even after he had been kicked out last summer). Sirius had kept them all hidden and lock-charmed so no one would be able to access his art. But of course, he continued on drawing, sometimes because he saw something he wanted to remember, sometimes because he wanted to get better at it, sometimes for the sake of it, and sometimes because he wanted to piss Walburga off. 
Sirius had a rather specific way in which he would sit in the drawing room of his house, and while Regulus studied diligently, he would prop out his sketchbook and draw for hours, waiting for Walburga to come over, just to see her walk out of the room displeased, he enjoyed that look on her face so much that he would draw for even more hours, just to see if she’d come back and make it again. 
At some point he’d even found some drawing books in the family library, he had taken all of them and hid them in his trunk, using them to improve his skill –not that the practice hadn’t already done that for him, but he learnt a lot about proportions with those. Later on owling them to James and asking him to hide them when things got rougher at home. That Christmas he’d gotten even more books, all thanks to the Potters who’d given him a few as gifts (he had stayed with them over the break while telling his parents he’d be at Hogwarts), James had given him a set of always-sharp drawing pencils that he still used to this day. James had also told Peter and Remus about Sirius’ passion for drawing. Peter had gotten him some colouring pencils while Remus got him a leather bound sketchbook, the same he was using today, in fact. 
“Yeah I–” Sirius was hesitant, he didn’t even notice how easily it had slipped off his tongue. How he had just offered the two of you to see his drawing. The more he thought about it, the more he realised, he wanted the two of you to see it. He trusted you, unlike he’d ever trusted anyone in his life, and it was scary, giving someone so much power over him and his emotions. 
“Hey,” you said softly, noticing his change in demeanour.  “I’m sure both me and Rem would love to see your drawing. See what that pretty mind of yours came up with,” you reassured as you pointed at his forehead with one of your fingers as you mentioned his mind. “But neither of us is going to pressure you.” 
“We’re okay if you keep it to yourself,” Remus added, for good measure. He was feeling all sorts of warm feelings as he saw you treat Sirius with such kindness, to touch him with such tenderness, Merlin knew that boy needed this kind of affection and he was thrilled, that even if he couldn’t give it to him himself –not in the way he wanted at least– you could still do that for him. You really were made for each other. And he really was in the middle of a tender moment and he wasn’t sure if he should stay in it, not that either of you seemed to mind, you never did, he realised. 
“I want you to see it,” Sirius mumbled and he handed the sketchbook your way, one of his fingers in between the pages, to mark where the drawing was. You took it in your hands and opened it slowly when you realised what it was you gasped. 
“It’s beautiful,” you said honestly. Both the drawing and the person he had drawn. Sirius swallowed thickly, he wasn’t insecure about many things, but he had never shown his art to anyone. “You’ve captured him perfectly.” 
“Who?” Remus asked, now intrigued and leaning over to see the drawing as well. 
“You,” you said as you tilted the sketchbook over so he could see it as well. Remus’ eyes opened wide with surprise as he saw himself sketched out in the notebook. 
When Sirius said he was “practising” his expressions, he really meant it, he had sketched out a perfect version of Remus’ side profile as he read a book, his brow just slightly furrowed as he was looking at a particularly intriguing section of the detective novel he’d been reading earlier. “You were… you were drawing me?” he stuttered, as his eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath. 
“You mind?” Sirius asked as he tilted his head slightly. 
Remus wasn’t sure how to respond. Did he mind? No, if anything he was flattered, barely holding the blush starting to creep up his cheeks, he never thought he’d be the subject of one of Sirius’ drawings, let alone the many he had already been of and would be in the future.  “No,” he said honestly. “I just didn’t realise.” 
“You were very absorbed in your book,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Wasn’t even being careful about it.” 
You turned to Sirius then, he’s drawn him before, you thought, it was in the way the lines were so sure, confident as if he knew exactly what he was doing and had to focus solely on his expression. But it made so much sense, they were roommates after all. You then wondered if he had drawn you too, was it possible that you too had been so engrossed in yourself that you hadn’t noticed? 
The drawing of Remus was beautiful, it truly reflected him in every way, but Remus had never seen himself as beautiful as he had been plastered on the sketch. He was truly stunning in Sirius’ gaze, and if that was what he looked like to you, then perhaps it too made sense when you called him beautiful. You’d even called him beautiful when you’d first seen the drawing. Well, was that him or was it Sirius’ talent that you had been praising? He chose to think a little bit was because of him.  
“Sirius it’s incredible,” you repeated as you gazed at the drawing again. “I expected you to be good but–” 
“I’m always good with my hands,” he said as he threw a wink your way and you almost pushed him off the bed entirely. You did not need dirty thoughts added. 
“My love you wound me,” he said dramatically as he let himself fall back onto Remus’ lap.  Remus had reacted just fast enough to pull the sketchbook up, Sirius looked at him with a cheeky little smile. “Moony, you’re awfully comfortable,” he teased. The two of you praising his art had gotten him in a dreadfully good mood. 
His two favourite people on earth had seen his drawing and they had both thought it was beautiful. Or at least been kind enough to pretend it was, he was pretty sure the two of you were being honest with him, though. He wasn’t always good at seeing through lies, but he was good when it mattered. 
Wait– his two favourite people in the world? 
Remus rolled his eyes as he looked down on Sirius, trying not to think of how beautiful he looked and instead of how annoying he was by taking up his personal space so brazenly. Problem was, even that he found endearing. The urge to brush his fingers through his perfectly chiselled nose was almost mortifying. 
Sirius wasn’t in a much better position either, he had focused so much on his drawing that he had forgotten he had actual Remus Lupin –who for some reason he now considered insanely attractive– looking at him like he was the only person in the room. They locked eyes for a moment and Sirius swallowed. 
You looked at the scene curiously and he seemed not to mind much the kind of attention Rem was providing him with, you already knew he loved being coddled. Sirius had always been touchy and cuddly, searching for the lack of affection his parents had given him wherever he could find it, but he and Remus had gotten a lot closer –physically at least– since you all started doing the pack cuddling thing this month. And while you found it endearing, that Sirius could find love not only with you but elsewhere as well in case you weren’t around to help him out, there was something about the way they were looking at each other in that particular moment that made you do a double take, or at least to stare a little closely. Have you missed something? That look was an awful lot like–
Suddenly there was a stir on the bed and the sketchbook fell from Remus’ hands. When he picked it up, the page had changed, and when he looked at it, he couldn’t actually hide the blush that crept up his cheeks, “Sirius Black!” he said in an admonishing tone. 
Sirius, who had turned his gaze to you and was pulling onto your leg, turned his head quickly and gasped when he saw the drawing Remus was looking at, “Close it, close it!” 
Remus did as told in an instant, swallowing thickly as he remembered the drawing. Sirius now was blushing as well. “What– what was that?” You asked with a small frown, completely changing your train of thought, now focusing solely on the sketchbook.
“Nothing,” Remus said simply. 
“Don’t worry about it, Starshine,” Sirius said, but that was not his cool and controlled voice. You could see how nervous he was, whatever it was that Remus had seen in the sketchbook, he clearly did not want you to see it too, which obviously made you want to see it even more. Meanwhile, Remus was struggling not to think of the drawing now burned into his brain. 
You scrutinised their reactions, the only sound in the room the gentle rustle of the fabric as you shifted on the bed. Your gaze darted between them, before deciding to focus on the latter. “Sirius?” He swallowed. 
“You don’t want to see it, trust me,” Remus said as coolly as he could, but you could clearly see through his bullshit. 
“Your lies only make me more curious.” 
“I’ll show it to you later.” 
“How will I know it’s the same?”
“Because you trust me?” Sirius responded with a shrug. 
“Would you show it to me later?” You asked as you turned to Remus. 
He cleared his throat, he really did not need to think of the drawing again. “Yes,” he lied. 
“Okay fine,” you responded, and laid back for a second, Remus had the sketchbook still in his hands.
Sirius was looking at you attentively, not sure how you had let the subject go so easily when you jumped forward to try and grab the notebook from Remus’ hands. But Remus’ reflexes had always been faster and he moved the book out of the way as you crashed against him and caused him to fall back on the bed with you on top. You, being deterred not even a little bit, pulled your hand forward to try and grab it again when Sirius grabbed you by the waist firmly and held you from moving forward again. 
Remus, meanwhile was trying not to think of the image, and now also your body pressed against him, and you, being so engrossed in your task, didn’t quite realise exactly what you were doing. 
“Starshine please, I promise I’ll show it to you later,” Sirius pleaded as he held you back from reaching towards Remus’ long outstretched hand. 
“Why not now?” you asked as you continued trying to move. 
“Because!” he said. “You’re all over Moony, come on!” he added as he tried to pull you back. 
You looked down, he was right, you were all over Remus, more specifically, all over the broad chest you had been thinking about all night, and you couldn’t help but think how firm it felt underneath you. But you still wanted to know. 
“What was it?” you asked, squirming as you tried to get out of Sirius’ grasp. 
“Anatomy study.” 
Finally, you stilled. Looking up to see how red Remus’ cheeks had gotten, and how he swallowed thickly after Sirius’ words. Now actually noticing how close you were to Remus and the compromising position your legs had been in, and the way they had entangled onto Remus’ and how long you had been there and how Sirius had been trying to pull you back by the waist and how flustered the two boys looked and suddenly it dawned on you. 
You scattered back in an instant, falling on Sirius’ lap as you did, he stilled you easily since his hands were still on your waist and you turned to him, your heart hammering on your chest. The thoughts currently roaming in your head weren’t making this entire ordeal any easier for you. 
“Do you mean-” you swallowed. “That kind of anatomy study?” 
Sirius sighed and looked at the side, before turning his gaze back to you. Remus was looking at the entire situation, at the position both you and Sirius had ended up in trying not to feel things, let alone imagine other ones. 
“Yes,” Sirius answered, giving you a look. “You really want to see?” he asked. He was sure what your answer could be, that didn’t stop Remus from sending him a reproachful look, as if telling him what a terrible idea that was. 
And if it had been any other day, you might have said yes. But after the potion, whatever and whoever Sirius had drawn, would probably be a terrible idea to look at, you already had enough heated thoughts as it was. Only made worse by the fact that you were now sitting on his lap and had been right over Remus earlier. Godric! How much longer for you to stop sexualizing your best friend? 
A lump formed in your throat and shook your head. “Show me a different day,” you said as you stared at him. Sirius nodded as he looked at you and you missed the way Remus let out a relieved breath. “Let’s uh– Let’s sleep now.” 
Neither of the boys argued, Remus placed the sketchbook on his night table and waved his wand to turn the lights off. You instantly turned into a fox and walked over to the end of the bed to try and clear your thoughts. Sirius extended his hand to pull you closer but ended up holding back and turning into a Padfoot instead. Then he walked closer to you and picked up Vixen carefully with his snout. 
You stilled as he did and allowed him to drop you over Remus’ chest, as you accommodated you realised Remus’ heartbeat was beating abnormally fast and you couldn’t help but think of the picture again. What the hell had Sirius drawn to garner such a reaction? You shook your head then, don’t need to know, don’t need to know!
Sirius was getting comfortable on the side by now, and he placed his snout over Remus’ shoulder, close to Vixen’s, and closed his eyes. But even if the three of you had your eyes closed, and even if the three of you were really trying to fall asleep, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were sleeping on Remus’ chest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the drawing he’d seen and Sirius could not stop thinking how adorable Remus had looked with the blush creeping up his cheek, let alone the compromising position you had both ended up in earlier. And it stayed like that, all of you attempting to calm your breaths, until at least half an hour later when one by one, you started to fall asleep. 
The next day had gone pretty fast, you’d woken up and walked back to your room to get changed into your flying gear, meeting Sirius and James just outside of the common room for the last flight of the year, since everyone would be packing their bags for home the following day. Well, everyone except for Remus who’d go back home until after Christmas. 
After flying you had taken the last few classes of the year, which consisted of some teachers actually trying to teach, some final project presentations and some others of teachers who just allowed everyone to do whatever they wanted during the class time. On charms, you spent almost the entire class playing Wizards’ chess with Marlene and Mary while James and Sirius spent the class writing his essays for potions. Both using yours and Remus’ as a guide. 
On potions Slughorn had you present the essays and he congratulated everyone, even Sirius, got a slightly higher mark on that one than Severus, whom you’d heard had spent weeks working on, you couldn’t stop the slight mocking giggle that escaped your lips when he announced the grades. That was until you got yours and it was lower than Sirius’, who just shrugged awkwardly and gave you an apologetic smile. 
Sure, your head had been a little muddled while you wrote it (which was at some point after the friendly game with Neil and Nox) but you still thought your argument had been solid, even if Slughorn said that you didn’t have enough sources to back it up. 
“But where did you even get your sources? You literally used my essay as a base!” you asked Sirius as you read over his. 
He just shrugged, “made them up,” he said honestly and proceeded to show you the page where he had added them, which contained all sorts of ridiculous names like David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Steve Walsh, Brad Delp and even some surreal ones like Moonsmus Lup and Vixenia Starr.
“Oh, so you even gave us credit,” you said as you hovered your index over the ridiculous names he’d invented based on your nicknames. “How on earth did he buy that?” 
“Mom and dad used to have pretty rare books in the library,” he explained, “books rarely available to the general public…” 
You nodded as you pursed your lip. Half surprised, half admired by his boldness, “Next time I’ll add some myself.” 
“The weirdest the names, the more he loves it.”  
Herbology had gone by like charms, Mr. Folly was talking about properties of some curative flowers with the students who were interested in them –and who wanted to go for either medical or herboreal careers– and allowed the rest to do their thing. You had spent the time talking to Beth and Tom, planning to get together in London after the trip on the train to get some gifts for your friends. 
Remus had excused himself before the class was over and walked over to Pomfrey who took him straight to the shack. You had all agreed that you’d meet him there a little before 6 pm which was the estimated time for the moon to appear that night. 
After changing into the same clothes you had been wearing the previous night, just for good measure and according to Remus’ instructions, he said it would be for the best, to “maximize the smell of the pack” but also –and secretly– for his very own enjoyment. Not that it didn’t also translate to your and Sirius’ enjoyment, the three of you rather liked the way you smelled when your scents were all combined with each other. From Sirius always smelling slightly like leather, added to the light notes of your perfume that lingered on each other, all the way to the faint smell of Remus’ aftershave potion and the ever-present smell of chocolate that seemed to surround him. It was certainly an interesting mix, but one you had all grown to love.
“You ready?” Sirius asked while Wormtail sprinted towards the Whomping Willow, they had told you that the tree had a secret branch that if you pressed it right, it would calm him enough to let you through, and Wormtail was currently working on making it happen. 
You nodded in response, paying close attention to the way Wormtail walked and how after a small flick of his tiny rat-like hands, the Willow stilled. You looked marvelled at the sight of the usually bellic tree looking so serene. You let out a small scoff.
“What is it?” James asked. 
You pointed at the tree, “A trick like that would have saved my Nimbus.” 
“But we wouldn’t have ended up snogging under it,” Sirius said with a sneaky little smirk as he passed his hand over your shoulders. 
“Is that why you were late after the race?” James asked with a gasp. “We were all mad worried!” 
“We also had some things to discuss,” you said with a small shrug, “I thought Sirius hated me.” 
James genuinely laughed at that, “He was bIoody smitten!” 
“Yeah, I guess I should have seen the signs…” you replied as you turned to your boyfriend, “It was in those pretty puppy eyes of his.” 
He pulled his tongue out and then started running towards the tree, you smiled and followed shortly behind. James, on the other hand, lagged back just for a moment, noting how you chased behind Sirius with a bright smile plastered on your face, filled with only blithe thoughts as you walked towards the wolf’s den; as if you weren’t even slightly worried for the outcome of the night. 
And you really weren’t, as far-fetched as it was, you thought Peter’s idea of using scents to trick Moony into not wanting to eat you, made sense. You had been sneaking into the restricted section to look up some more werewolf-related tomes, sometimes with Sirius and sometimes by yourself, all in the hopes that you’d find something to back your claim up –and rip some more of those murder pages off of them– and even though you hadn’t found something that confirmed it, you had found some text that talked about how heavily werewolves leaned onto scents to hunt and track humans down. 
You had also taken some other “muggle animals” from the muggle studies section of the library and read about the normal wolves, and while you hadn’t found any stance in which they did something similar to what you had planned, there were some stances in which packs of wolves adopted stray and small dogs and raised them as their own. Now Vixen wasn’t either a stray, nor a dog, but she was canine, so that must atone for something, right? Either way, you had built a pretty strong case for Peter’s theory in your head, and while you couldn’t actually ask a teacher about it, you were about to do something that Lily had taught you was “the scientific method” in muggle terms. It was simple, you got a theory, and you tested it out to see if it would work. Now, according to Lily, the testing was in a controlled setting with proper security, your security would be Prongs, Padfoot and how fast you could move as Vixen, but you were still optimistic enough to go through with it. It had to work, otherwise, things would only get harder.
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A/N: Hey everyone? How is it going? Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's one of the fluffiest we've gotten in a while hehe You guys were asking for a new Q&A so I'm working on it at the moment, send all the questions you may want to be added here, or directly on asks. Love, Lils xx
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lullabyalikpoptarot ¡ 20 days ago
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Enhypen (Green/Yellow/Red Flags) in Relationships
I will start this series with my favorites. I like to look at the full spectrum of what they are like in relationships, because sometimes I just get the good or the bad. It might happen again, but let's look at their different aspects. Now green are good traits, yellow are annoying traits they may have, and red being bad habits/unhealthy traits. We all have this, so no judgment zone here. Let's see what I get here.
Heeseung
Green Flag (7 of Wands) He is protective when it comes to his relationships, so he will have his partners back no matter what. No matter what is thrown at the relationship or obstacles that come their way. He will stay consistent and stand by his partner. I say he will keep his partner safe and away from harm as much as he can. He may also help his partner fight again any struggle they may have and stand by them.
Yellow Flag (3 of Cups) I see him being the type to flirt around, to indulge a bit, drinking is a thing with him, so he may get out of hand, might insinuate threesomes, but I don't get that, because boy is possessive, you'll see more in his red flags, so not sure how that would work out. I just see him getting drunk and doing and saying dumb sh** I also see him wanting to hang out with his partners friends to be close, but sometimes his partner just needs to be with their friends alone.
Red Flag (The Lovers) No surprise here from all my other readings. The Devil card didn't pop up, but this gives off same vibes. He is very attached to his partner. He likes having a hold on his partner. And does whatever he can to keep them near him as much as possible. I just get a strong desire and attachment to his partner. I just see him being very strongly linked to his partner and really can't be on his own, which isn't healthy. The song stuck like glue by Sugarland is popping in my head, so yeah.
Jay
Green Flag (7 of Swords) Please explain how this is a green flag! This is like one of the worst cards you can get in a relationship reading. He may be good at hiding a relationship, sneaking out at night to see his partner, but like this is his green flag ya'll giving me. He can be good at holding back, once again what does that mean? I feel Jay has so many green flags, but why did this pop up who knows? Okay, he is cautious not to say anything that may cause problems, this is a card of deceit, so maybe he can see through it, girl, I can't see the green flag. Also, he may be able to keep secrets very well. I clarified this with ace of wands, so he may know how to bring excitement to a relationship by sneaking his partner out. Did someone he like or dated like this? because this so weird wtf and a random green flag. I swear someone he dated liked this about him and that is why I am getting this. I knew this group would bring weirdness to this.
Yellow Flag (Wheel of Fortune) He may rush through things in the relationship, it is like he feels he doesn't have much time to waste. I just feel he struggles to take things slow. Also, money and opportunities are important to him, so there is that. It is like he can't miss an opportunity when it comes, whatever that means. This boy is complicated in relationships tbh as of now. I just keep getting opportunist.
Red Flag (2 of Swords) It is hard to argue with him. He can be petty and avoidant in relationships. It is kind of hard to have a diplomatic conversation with him at times. It may be hard for him to see the other person point of view. It is like he is always at odds with his partner in relationships. It is hard for him to come to a resolve on things. It is like things are left unanswered. Alright, this was difficult to get through. He is easy to read when it comes to his own personal life, but his relationships are a different breed. He struggles in this department and is a bit complicated.
Jake
Green Flag (The High Priestess) He is very intuitive when it comes to his partner. There is an alluring mystery to him that his partner's may have liked. He can keep secrets pretty well. There is a vast knowledge of things he knows. I say he will know his partner pretty well. He can also keep secrets pretty well. I just see him knowing what to do when it comes to his partner and knowing a lot about them that they don't have to say much.
Yellow Flag (Temperance) Trying to understand why this is a yellow flag. Temperance is about stability and moderation and a calm balance between two people, should be good right? So, the card image may play a part in this message, it is the appearance. He tries to display a calm peaceful image, but there is more to the story with him. I am getting looks can be deceiving. He tries to keep an equilibrium in the dynamic. It is like he comes off balanced and stable, but it is kind of deceiving. This is why I get kind of scared to do this boy; he is complicated too. Aww man, hope the other members aren't this complicated. Moving on.
Red Flag (Knight of Swords) He is harsh with his words. Can say some downright mean sh** to his partner. He is very quick at the mouth, very defensive. He may not let his partner get a say in an argument. Can be gossipy and spread lies to fit his narrative. Also, very good with his words, but it can be to manipulate and deceive. He is very determined to have the last say. Good luck arguing with this boy. Man, him and Jay are giving me a headache, which may be how it feels to date those two, love them, but from afar to be honest.
Sunghoon
Green Flag (7 of Pentacles) He is very loyal and supportive. The type who is in to be serious. Not the type to play games. No drama with him. He's got his partner's back no matter what. His partner can definitely lean on him. He is like a pillar to his partner, holding them down when need be. A dependable partner. He may even support his partner financially.
Yellow Flag (10 of Pentacles) Family may play an integral role. His family may need to approve. Family obligations will be important. Appearing a certain way as well. The person may have to come from a well off or good family as well. It is like appearances will be important. Who he dates may need to have high status. Ni-Ki wasn't lying when he said he has high standards, I agree.
Red Flag (Strength) Stubborn af, can be arrogant, can have a big ego, hard to crack him or have him yield to his partner, struggles to be vulnerable. It is like he will always need to appear strong, so having him be vulnerable and show his more intimate side will be tough. He may struggle to compromise as well. Okay, he wasn't as complicated as the other two.
Sunoo
Green Flag (7 of Wands/3 of Cups) Similar cards to Heeseung I see. He can be protective of his relationship. He has the ability to overcome any obstacle that comes their way. Stands by his partner no matter what. A very loyal boyfriend. He can be the life of the party. He would be fun to date and be around. It is like you will have fun when you are with him. He is very joyful and enjoys celebrating things within the relationship. He can definitely help lift his partner's spirit up with a good time.
Yellow Flag (Queen of Wands) Can be a flirt, has a magnetic pull towards him, has an ability to get who he wants, a bit too carefree and wild. Has an ability to charm others and won't stop while dating someone. It is like he has the energy of getting a lot of attention, while dating and kind of won't stop flirting or stop someone from flirting just because he is dating someone.
Red Flag (Knight of Swords) Very communicative, possibly to others, gossipy, can say harsh things, can manipulate, he can be too quick with his words, doesn't think before saying things. Too rash. Will probably air out his partner's business to others. Can be defensive as well. He can overcomplicate things as well, not sure what that means, but got that message too. I got he talks too much, but also why is this a red flag? it is like he struggles to listen, or he doesn't give the other person room to speak. I mean he is a Mercury in Gemini, so makes sense. Like I am thinking about that tangent he went on in that live with Niki about a disagreement they had, and Niki was just like, okay, not going to speak over that, and gave in, kind of that vibe. Like he struggles to let the other person have a say and will just run his mouth. Alright, done here.
Jungwon
omg I feel his cards is giving me a whole story and scenario. Love my bias.
Green Flag (Knight of Wands) A very passionate individual. Will bring the excitement and spark to the relationship. Why am I getting, here for a good time. This boy is giving me sexual undertones and messages here, not comfortable with the messages, but yeah, sexual spark here. He can be carefree and adventurous as well. A keep hearing, passionate lover, so yeah. I won't ignore what I keep hearing ya'll. His Venus Aries is coming through here. Ya'll can baby this boy all you want, but boy got a strong burning desire in relationships.
Yellow Flag (4 of Wands) I say, he seems to only really like the fun and good times. He won't like the difficult times in relationships. He wants things to remain fun and jovial at all times which is unrealistic. He just wants good times, celebrations and fun in relationships.
Red Flag (The Hanged Man) I laughed when I saw this, because this doesn't surprise me with him. He will ghost your a**, may leave you on read, just completely distance himself if it doesn't suit him or is not any fun for him. He can be passive and nonchalant when the fun dies down. It is like at first, he will come in full force and bring the fireworks and passion and then eventually he's gone if things get a bit too real or old. It is like he prefers the beginning stages, but as the relationship goes on, he gets bored tbh. Oh Jungwon, I got to say I relate to this, which is why he is my bias, we relate, but I also know this is not how relationships work and why I don't entertain them, hopefully he works on that as well. Or maybe he is aware of this as well. It is like he may not be upfront about his attentions, and it may confuse or upset his partner's, or he isn't aware that he prefers more of the beginning stages where the excitement of meeting someone new is there.
Ni-Ki
Green Flag (The World) He is pretty confident, a complete individual. He knows a lot about himself and the world around him. He can bring a lot to the table in a relationship. He can teach his partner a lot of about the world. He stands in his power. This isn't really giving me how he would be in a relationship. I legit feel he is fine on his own and if a partner comes than cool, so in a sense he would be a good partner because he is fine on his own, so he will bring something to the table for his partner and not depend on them too much or lose himself to them. He is pretty successful on his own.
Yellow Flag (Temperance rv) I just see him not wanting to share his time or his peace of mind to date someone. It is like he will struggle to compromise himself for another. It is like the opposite of Jake, like Jake will blend into his partner to fit in, Niki will not do that. I just see him not wanting to sacrifice himself or his peace.
Red Flag (The Magician) He prefers being single plain and simple. This is my single ready to mingle card of the deck. That is his red flag. He may prefer the dating and courting stage, but nothing beyond that. He likes the idea of dating, but when it comes to relationships, it is a pass for him. This card can indicate someone who can manipulate others to get what he wants, so he may date someone to achieve something, but not out of love, but it doesn't have to be malicious. But this could be confusing for someone who is interested in love. He may not make that clear. This is quite Venus in Cap energy, they tend to date someone if they provide something for them, rather than looking for love, as one myself, I am kind of like this too, no lie. So yeah, he is more like what can you offer, and I will be willing to date you. Once again, I get it, but I guess that can be a red flag to some. My bias is showing here but get the red flag in this. Man, me and Ni-Ki are besties in this area lol We should be friends!
Oh man, this was fun, interesting, but not as easy as I thought it would be on some members (Jay and Jake). Can probably only do one of these per weekend, but excited to get to all the groups I want to do.
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incognit0slut ¡ 1 year ago
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Right Kind of Wrong (11)
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She ever thought she would be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.
Part Summary: Her involvement in the case becomes more crucial than she lets on. wc: 2.7k
Series Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide
a/n: I know this part is long overdue, I've been very busy lately and I can't seem to write anything good for me to post. But do not fret, I am back and better than ever before (lol) Also, thank you for patiently waiting for this update🤍
Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
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"I WOULD HAVE STRANGLED HIM IF I WERE YOU."
Y/n frowned as she watched the slight furrow on her friend's brow, adding an element of emphasis to her words.
A moment of silence passed between them before Sandy rolled her eyes, leaning against the plush couch in the living room with a tall glass in her hand. "I'm just saying," she explained. "He was being a total jerk."
She let out a sigh. A slight confusion weaved itself whenever she contemplated him. She thought that voicing out her emotions on what occurred these past few days could ease her, yet thinking of him was only making her question her sanity. It was as if her mind was attempting to decipher a language it didn't fully comprehend, leaving her caught between curiosity and apprehension.
She honestly didn't know what to think anymore. One minute she felt like she was head over heels for the guy, and the next minute strangling him didn't seem like a bad idea after all.
She could even list all of the things about him that riled her up, yet somehow the thought of having her hands wrapped around his throat reminded her of something entirely different, which was why she found herself saying, "You know, he would actually enjoy that."
Sandy raised her brows. "What? Getting choked to death?"
She scoffed. "No, not to that extent. But like, in another context." She then narrowed her eyes. "If you know what I mean."
The subtle innuendo didn't go unnoticed as Sandy's eyes widened in surprise. "No way."
"Way."
"Damn," her friend mused before taking a sip of her drink. "Smart and kinky. If only he wasn't such an ass to you."
Smart and kinky weren't exactly words she considered using in one sentence, but the sound of them put together surprisingly sounded enticing. It sounded enticing enough that her mind was starting to play tricks on her. It sounded good enough that she found herself starting to miss him, even when logic dictates that she shouldn't.
And now it sounded compelling enough that she couldn't help but weigh in the pros and cons when it came to the man, putting the cons on his ability to switch attitude in a span of seconds into a completely different person—not to mention his tendency to assume biased reasonings based on poor judgment.
On the other hand, the pros were very hard to ignore. There was a certain charm in his awkward demeanor, especially in his shy and uncertain smile every time it was directed her way. Then there was also his intelligent mind she was definitely drawn to.
But above all that, he was, without a doubt, a certified freak in the sheets.
And that was on top of her list.
A subtle sigh escaped her lips, revealing a hint of her internal struggle. "I mean, he did have a good point, don't you think?"
"Y/n," Sandy warned disapprovingly.
"What? He was only doing his job..." She glanced at her. "...right?"
"This is the alcohol talking," Sandy dismissed before standing up. "You would never forgive a man this easy if you were sober."
"It's Margarita Night, what's the point of being sober?" She proved her point by finishing the last drop of liquor from her glass, the vibrant notes of freshly squeezed lime and tequila playing across her taste buds.
Sandy simply scoffed as she took her glass and disappeared into the kitchen, the sound of utensils clinking together following behind as she started making them a refill. 
Y/n leaned back and closed her eyes, her body poised for a moment of relaxation. But just as the first tendrils of calm began to envelop her, a sharp interruption pierced through the air—the sound of the doorbell ringing.
A grin tugged at the corners of her lips as she rose from the couch. "Our pizza is here!"
Light steps carried her to the door as her stomach grumbled in anticipation, the scent of cheesy goodness already wafting through her imagination. She slowly wrapped her hand around the doorknob and swung the door open, but instead of being greeted by the delivery guy clad in his familiar uniform, the last person she thought would be on the other side of her door stood right in front of her.
Her eyes widened, capturing the shock that rendered her momentarily speechless. Time seemed to slow as her heart raced with caution while she attempted to process on what was happening.
What were the chances of seeing him again right at the moment when she had her friend coming over just so she could rant about the guy?
It was as if the universe was playing a trick on her, presenting a twist she could never have anticipated. As the seconds ticked by, she then finally found her voice, a mix of caution and confusion lacing her words as she muttered, "You're not the delivery guy."
"I'm not," Spencer—god, she still couldn’t believe he was here—responded, his eyes scanning along her features. "Sorry to disappoint you."
There was a fleeting moment where their gaze met, an unspoken wariness passing between them. The memory of their last meeting surfaced with a wave of tension that tugged at the corners of her mouth. She watched as his expression shifted, the space between them seemed to shrink, the air heavy with the weight of their unspoken words.
Then a throat being cleared cut through the silence, a soft disruption that broke the spell of their locked eyes. Startled, her gaze broke away from his, shifting to the source of the interruption. And there, standing beside him was another figure—a woman she hadn't noticed until that very moment.
Recognition flashed in her eyes as she glanced at the familiar face, recalling the blonde-haired lady as one of the agents she met at the bureau the other day. Agent... Jareau, was it?
Yes, that was definitely her name. She was one of the few agents who actually treated her without judgment, checking in on her from time to time, which was why she focused her attention on her instead.
"Agent Jareau, what brings you here?"
"Sorry to barge in this late," she replied with an apologetic smile. "But we'd like to have a few words with you."
"It's fine." Y/n stepped aside and pulled the door wider. "Do you want to come in?"
"No, it's alright, we'll be quick—"
"Yes."
Her gaze turned back to the other man and narrowed her eyes.
"I think it’s better to have this conversation inside."
She studied him for a moment before nodding, letting the two agents step inside her home. There was a clatter coming from the kitchen as she closed the door before walking down the hallway, expecting them to follow behind. "We can talk in the living room but—"
"We're putting you on protection."
She abruptly turned on her heels. "What?"
Agent Jareau sent a disapproving look towards Spencer as if trying to say this was not how they usually handle things in this situation. The woman turned back to her and gave her a reassuring smile before explaining, "We've been investigating the situation thoroughly, and it appears that the Unsub we're dealing with might have developed an unhealthy obsession with you."
Her heart slowly raced, a mix of fear and disbelief coursing through her veins as the words finally sink in. "Obsession?” Her brows furrowed deeper. “What do you mean?"
"As you may know, all of the victims were related to you in one way or another, where you received some kind of mistreatment by them all. We believe the Unsub might be doing this out of his way to protect you."
She felt a knot tightening in her stomach, a growing sense of vulnerability she had never experienced before. "P-Protect me? But why?"
Agent Jareau's expression softened as she continued, "We're still working to understand the motives behind their actions. But given the escalating behavior and the potential danger it poses, we've decided it's best to put you under protection."
Her mind was a whirlwind of confusion and fear. "Protection? Like... witness protection?"
Spencer, who had been quietly observing, spoke up. "Something similar. We're proposing a protective measure—having an officer discreetly follow you during your daily routine."
Her eyes widened in disbelief. "You want me to be followed?"
Agent Jareau interjected, "It's for your own safety. We believe that having an officer close by could deter any potential threat and give us a better chance of identifying the Unsub."
Her mind raced as she considered the implications. "But how will I know? Will the officer be obvious?"
"Officer Anderson is currently outside in a separate car. He's trained to blend in while keeping a watchful eye on your surroundings."
"I..." she trailed off, then shook her head. "Will he be there all the time?"
Spencer nodded. "Yes, but we'll do our best to be inconspicuous. You won't even know he's there most of the time."
The idea of having an undercover officer tailing her sent a mixture of emotions coursing through her veins. Safety, yes, but also an unsettling feeling of being under constant scrutiny.
"Is this really necessary?"
"Yes, it is."
Her thoughts suddenly spun like a whirlwind, torn between disbelief and grim realization. She had always taken her daily routines for granted, the simple act of going to work or meeting friends devoid of apprehension. Now, each step she took seemed laden with an invisible weight, as if unseen eyes were tracking her every movement.
And to top it all, was she actually the sole reason behind these murders? She wasn't exactly the one acting out these gruesome crimes, yet it might as well happened because of her. Who could harbor such an unhealthy fixation on her? What had she done to attract this unwanted attention?
The unanswered mysteries gnawed at her.
Agent Jareau reached out and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as she read the familiar look in her eyes, it was the same look whenever a witness was starting to blame themselves. "This isn't your fault, we're here to support you through this. Your safety is our priority.”
With a deep breath, she nodded, silently accepting the protection they offered. The blonde-haired woman then gestured for her to open the door, which she did, and pointed towards a car parked a few blocks away with its window down, revealing a normal-looking guy sitting behind the wheel.
"That's Officer Anderson, he'll be trailing behind you at a safe distance. You won't even notice he's there."
The officer caught them staring and lifted his hand, a gesture of his greeting. Y/n waved back at him. "Great, I've always wanted a personal bodyguard."
Unfortunately, none of the two agents standing beside her caught the sarcasm in her voice. Agent Jareau turned back to her. "You have our number, right? You can call us anytime if you need assistance."
She did have her number, she also had Agent Prentiss' number who constantly assured her to call if she ever found anything new that could help with the investigation. But surprisingly, out of all the agents she met, the one agent she didn't have their number was the one she had been sleeping with all along.
Not that she was ever going to call him. She simply nodded out of politeness, and as she did, she could feel watchful eyes staring at her intently. Agent Jareau's keen eyes also caught the subtle interaction unfolding before her. She caught the way Spencer's gaze fixed with unwavering intensity on Y/n, who seemed determinedly oblivious to the weight of his stare, or rather, she was purposefully attempting to ignore his scrutiny.
Sensing the tension in the air, she took a step back, offering a fleeting glance to Spencer before turning to leave. "I'll wait in the car."
Her footsteps softly echoed in the night as she disappeared, and Y/n wasn't sure whether being left with him was a good idea.
She could feel the subtle shifts of his movements, the barely perceptible rise and fall of his chest, as they stood just inches apart. She could also feel the warmth radiating from his body, a tantalizing contrast to the cool breeze that brushed against her skin.
"You okay?"
The air felt charged with tension as he spoke, his voice carrying a mix of nervousness and sincerity.
"It's safe to say I'm far from being okay," she decided to say.
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his fingers curling and then relaxing by his sides. His lips parted slightly as if he were on the cusp of forming the words he had carried within him for so long. His gaze, intense yet searching, traced the contours of her face as if trying to find the right entry point into a conversation that had been left untouched.
And then he finally spoke.
"I'm sorry."
She finally dragged her gaze on him with an expression that betrayed little emotion. "Are you sorry because a serial killer out there has an unhealthy obsession with me or are you sorry about your misconception of me?"
"Both." He seemed to search her eyes for a reaction, his uncertainty palpable. "But you must understand I was doing my job, it was never my intention to hurt you."
"But you did hurt me," she answered, her gaze dropping momentarily before returning to meet his. "Whether it was intentional or not."
He seemed to struggle for words, a mix of emotions playing across his features "I know. I'm sorry."
She tilted her head slightly, her expression remaining impassive. After hearing the new update on the case and how much she was actually involved, she wasn’t in the mood to be having a serious conversation.
"It's getting late,” she mumbled, crossing her arms. “You should probably leave."
Spencer let out a sigh. "Listen, I—"
"It’s getting late,” she repeated, her voice sounding severe. “We can have this conversation another time.”
His shoulders slumped, the weight of his remorse heavy on his chest. He had hoped for a reaction, a sign that his apology had made a difference. Instead, her indifference left him feeling adrift, as if it was a barrier that he couldn't breach, a shield that rendered his efforts to make amends ineffective.
There was nothing else he could do as she turned to face him fully again, her eyes meeting his with a calm finality.
"Good night, Dr. Reid."
He reluctantly took a step back.
"Good night," he murmured.
Then with a nod, he slowly turned away, leaving her standing there all alone. Her gaze remained fixed on his receding figure, his form gradually blending into the night.
Doubt suddenly gnawed at the edges of her consciousness—Had she made the right choice? Was her choice to distance herself a shield to guard against potential heartache, or was it a missed opportunity to rebuild what had been lost?
She shook her head and went back inside, closing the door behind her before leaning against it. It wasn't until she heard footsteps emerging from the kitchen that she realized Sandy was still here.
"What was that all about?"
Y/n glanced at her friend. The two freshly filled glasses in her hands were calling out to her and drowning herself in heaps amount of alcohol seemed like a good idea, even when she was probably going to regret it tomorrow morning. But she needed to feel numb by all of these emotions.
She watched as Sandy offered her a glass, waiting for her reply. There were a lot of things she could answer with, but the only matter that stood out to her was the new revelation on her involvement on the case. So she took the glass from her and pressed her lips around the rim as her mind drifted toward the disguised officer sitting right outside her house.
There was no other way than to explain it as it was.
"I think I might be in danger."
>> NEXT PART
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Don’t forget to interact with the story!
707 notes ¡ View notes
fawnprincessblog ¡ 1 month ago
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Hi everyone, guess who's back.
After 2 months of absence i've decided to bring myself back on here and explain some things that have happened.
💗
After publishing a post a while back regarding incest, i had recieved a lot of hate since then. When i posted it I had no idea how much hate I was bound to receive from all of you once you guys saw it, and honestly i didn't think it would get that much attention. After realising it was clearly causing so much hate I posted an apology, which all you also thought was total shit, so I deleted that too.
And right after, I was bombarded with an ungodly amount of death threats through my inbox, people asking me to kill myself and end it. It was a whole lot, and I really didn't think that one measly post would set you guys off so fast. And honestly I was surprised to see how much there was. My inbox was full of them, and I couldn't handle it all.
Soon enough as expected one person had gone anonymous, sending inbox messages to my followers to report the 'heinous crime' I've committed by posting one silly thing, which by the way, put out a lot of false information. The person was over exaggerating, putting shitty words in my mouth. And I'm here now to talk about all the accusations the person has made. To the people who recieved the inbox message, here's your real explanation from the blogger who made the damn posts.
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1. I 'nonchalantly' wrote twincest about Tom and Bill.
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First of all, I have never in my life intended to ship the damn twins. If you have checked tumblr well enough, you should be aware there's tons of threesome sex fics about Tom and Bill, where they both fucked the reader at once. And if you fucking bothered to read my fic properly and not jump to conclusions to try so damn hard and cancel me, you'd know damn well Tom and Bill never even touched eachother in the fic that I wrote. They didn't have sex with eachother, they didn't DIRTY TALK eachother, and they did NOT do anything that would have come across as incest.
They both simply fucked the reader and talked to the reader, having nothing to do with each other in the fic. Get your damn facts right b4 you try to sound like a fucking smartass.
2. I want to be 'chained up and used.'
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Kinks and fantasies everyone, c'mon. People have FUCKING KINKS. And mind you, this is tumblr. If you srsly see shit like this and start acting out because it makes you sad then clearly it's not for you so like just scroll? You have a damn finger, don't you? Unless, y'know, you cut the damn thing off.
Anyway, I think it's pathetic you're acting all petty over it cause you wanna cancel someone so bad and be the fucking hero of the day. Nobody cares, cunt.
3. I wanted to 'abuse' Bill.
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To clarify this one, I do agree that the term 'abuse' was too strong. I don't intend to fucking abuse the poor guy, I just had no idea how to fucking word my sentence and how I was trying to get the damn message out. I've already edited my post on this one. So, chill out.
4. I'm 'anti-lgbt'?
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This shitty one has been going around a LOT ever since I posted something regarding how annoying Bill was in the Kaulitz & Kaulitz series, where he talked alot about his sexuality.
First of all I'm not fucking homophobic. To let you guys know I am a Catholic Christian, (ik, not a very holy one) and supporting the lgbt community is definitely not on the list. And even if so, I do not disrespect anyone who's part of it. We aren't told to treat you guys any less. And for me, although I never encouraged the idea, I don't look lower on the person. Even I myself catch myself in a 'lesbian-feeling' situation sometimes.
And if you've seen the comments on the post I made about that Bill thing, all the comments agree with my anyway. We all collectively agree he went a little overboard but so what? I'm just saying. Suck on that, stupid hoe!
5. I support pedophilia.
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Babe, check the post again and see how many people were totally okay with the damn post in the first place. I have never agreed ever that pedophilia was okay, and there's tons of older Tom fics with this age gap. Please, istg, do your research before crying over spilled milk to save yourself the embarrassment.
And, to let y'know, who ever sent these inbox messages, one of the friends that you sent these to—I think her name was 'pain of l0ve' or smtg—was totally one of the biggest supporters on that post asking for a full blown fic of older tom and the 17 year old girl. She uses to be my follower too. Dw, I have a screenshot before she blocked me and tried to act all shocked and surprised that I post those malicious things you said! ^^
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mm...that really pissed me off ngl 🤷‍♀️
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Anyway, that concludes it. Hope this answers your questions about all this misinformation that this person has spread in attempt to cancel me.
I also just want to put it out there that I'm really sorry for posting something like that, and now looking at it I do agree that it was weird. I apologise for anyone who got uncomfortable. All the death threats I've received weren't necessary though. I don't ever think it's right to go that far on anyone. Please be mindful sometimes. Other than that, I'm really sorry.
And I also wanna thank @itsangelll for being there for me when I couldn't answer all the haters myself. Girl you really helped me out, standing up for me and explaining the situation. Ilysm always 💗💗
But for the cunt that sent out all the inbox messages, I hope you had fun doing so anyways :3 I really do appreciate all the stalking and effort you put in just for me so you could cancel me and be heard! 🥺 Seriously the hero of the day! You really read through all my stuff so you could dig out the littlest things! Talk about dedication!! Quite obsessed I must say.
Kisses, love ya! 💋💋💗
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i520u ¡ 1 year ago
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invisible string ʚĭɞೃ⟡
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HIII i’m so sorry this took me so long i just didn’t wanna be unemployed after i’m done with my series so i decided to keep this in the drafts for a while 😞 i hope you’ll like this!
PAIRING sung hanbin x gn!reader
GENRE fluff, sfw
MASTERLIST
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hanbin is a responsible bf, so you can definitely let loose when you’re around him!
he will always makes you feel safe
when you go out on dates with him, he would always silently take your handbag off of your shoulder and carry them himself 😞
his nicknames for you are usually the common ones, baby, my baby, angel, and i think he’d most commonly use 내 사랑 (nae sarang/my love) because it’s so endearing to give your s/o a nickname in your own mother tongue am i right
but he prefers calling you by your name, bc he thinks your name is already pretty
constantly complimenting you
you get your work done and he’s like “good job baby” and then he’d kiss your cheek
you finish mopping the floors and he’s like “you worked so hard today my love, thank you”
the type of boyfriend that will give you legitimate answers to your “would you still love me if i was a worm?” questions
one time you asked him what he would do if you turned into a snail one day
and he told you he’d have to build you nice house where you would be comfortable living in
drives your around ALL the time
he would freak out if you offered him gas money because he really doesn’t mind spending his time, energy, and money with you :(
if you gave him a $10 cash he would applepay you $15
i think hanbin is a great cook, so eating out is very rare for you both because he’s always cooking up a meal for the both of you
if you don’t like a certain taste (sour, salty, sweet, etc) he’d make sure to alter the recipe a little so you’d both be able to enjoy the meal together
hanbin would be cutting up some vegetables, and then you’d come up to him and ask for a kiss, and he would gladly give you a quick kiss before resuming with the meal prep
conflicts with him rarely ever happens
he’s so good at communicating, and he’s just so gentle there’s really nothing to be mad about with him
he trusts you, and he feels secure in the relationship so he never really asks you about your whereabouts. you’re free to hangout with anyone!
all of your friends loves hanbin. he treats you so well, and he’s so polite and can mix around with them, so he’s practically in your friend group too
when you DO get into fights with hanbin, the fight never lasts longer than 2 days. he either apologises first if he realised that he’s in the wrong, or he’ll talk to you and explain why he felt like he was wronged
plus, even when the two of you are fighting, he’d still cook you a good dinner, and you’d still help him clean up all the things he used to make the meal 😭
also on nights where you both had heated arguments, if the situation was okay, he would still wrap his arms around you while you sleep
hanbin never go all out for anniversaries though
rather than fancy dinner date or a big gesture to show his love, it’s more domestic and meaningful
hanbin prefers celebrating your anniversaries together with things like giving you a photobook of all the moments that you’ve spent together
of course he’d buy you a gift too, but his main idea of anniversaries are more domestic
one time he rearranged your house and made a candlelight dinner all by himself for your anniversary, candles, silk tablecloth, fancy steak, he did that all by himself
whenever you get sick, he’d feel bad leaving you alone while he goes to work but duty calls!!!
he would make you text him and update him every 3 hours so that he knows you’re eating well and taking your medicines on time
when HE’S sick he tells you not to worry about him and then he would get flustered when he finds out that you cooked him some healthy soupy foods for him to eat
he thinks you’re so cute when you’re worried over him getting a stupid little cold
when he gets better he would give you so many kisses and cooing at how cute you were when you were taking care of him
honestly he’s always kissing you somewhere, or you’re always kissing him somewhere, it doesn’t matter. he loves kisses
when you say something funny he would laugh and then bring your hand to his lips for no reason?? when you ask him why he’s just like “you’re so funny i just had to kiss you”
when you’re showing him the new top you just bought and then he would just pull you in to kiss the top of your head bc why not
when you kiss him first his ears will go red
he would even be like “why’d you do that”
when you say you just wanted to kiss him he’d giggle and would call you adorable
“my partner is so adorable today, i wonder what’s got into them?”
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ask-the-rag-dolly ¡ 1 year ago
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// Why do you like Ragatha
(Unleash it. Type out the essay.)
// ... the essay warning tag really is going to apply here ^^
ragatha became my favorite character almost instantly the moment she appeared on screen . like i could remember even around the teaser for the show i was pretty fond of her , though i could chalk that up to me liking Any design that is remotely based off raggedy ann
she perfectly fits that oddly specific character type only I love , which is 'grown woman keeps failing no matter how hard she tries and it's marvelous to witness' , like i'm not sure how to explain it too well - she's not really a girlfail or a girlboss in my eyes ... she just . never wins ! and i love that , please keep fucking losing ragatha the amazing digital circus
to break it down , what's apparent in her approximately less than 7 minutes of screentime is that she's a goofy goober who's essentially the voice of reason . she's not emotional like gangle , unreliable like jax and zooble , or out of her mind like kinger . she was essentially the only one who tried to ease pomni into the circus instead of hard-hitting her with the reality as if that won't make her abstract on the spot . it's clear through her interactions with the other characters and how she talks to pomni that she acts like the Pillar of the group , with how compliant she is with caine's adventures and has a comforting presence .
the problem is ... that all of those 'positive' traits are ... Detrimental to her own wellbeing . like i'm sure a part of her positivity is genuine , but her optimism clearly hinges into toxic positivity and her selflessness is taken to the point of people-pleasing and neglecting her own needs . it's clear that she sees her own emotions as a burden that she doesn't want to put on other people .
and . she's dishonest . my girl is dishonest . she often brushes off things as not being as bad as they actually are , she picks her words to cause less conflict as possible , and it doesn't seem like anyone else is aware of her internal turmoil ... even when she's in Literal Pain she still brushes it off as being okay - and she stayed quiet instead of telling pomni that she's upset .
which is ... hilarious . there's just something about nice characters that tell the most lies to me . bonus points if it seems like they're the one who tells the most truths out of the entire group . everything about ragatha is Dishonest .
and it's funny yet again that these Really don't help her at all ! i think it's clear just from promotional material to the pilot that ragatha is meant to be a punching bag . her teaser shows a cleaver Being Thrown At Her , was tripped by jax and Literally Most Of Her Screentime In the Pilot Is Being In Pain , and that's not counting gooseworx's doodles . my girl's fucking Losing .
and it fits her avatar well since she's a Rag Doll ... she's basically never meant to win from the start . she was never the main character .
it interests me so much on how all of these will be taken in the full series since they're all very interesting setups , especially for the setting that the story is set in . i just need to see more of my girl and i wish that a lot of her content isn't limited to ship art . you guys do not understand how desperate i am to see content of ragatha interacting with either caine or zooble . i am Not normal about them .
also i want to kiss her on the mouth //
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sugar-plum-writer ¡ 9 months ago
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A Heian Era Affair
Paring: GojoSatrou!ModernEra x FemReader!HeianEra! Tags: Fem!Reader; Gojo!imagines; slight!mention of violence; 18+ as more chapters come; slow burn [I want to have a good build up~ just like my Sukuna series fic~]; An ancient Japan romance through time with reader Text: Gojo ends up in the Heian Era through unknown reason (will be reveled later on) and meets reader and hence journey begins both of adventure and romance~ [If you all like it, please heart and reblog the post! to know you want to read more~ and follow for chapter updates! or leave a comment to tag you when I put out new chapters~ I will do my best to roll out UPDATES ASAP!]
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CHAPTER - 1
The bamboo trees rustled as the cool wind blew, almost hauntingly as if carrying a message from another side of the world. Wiping your sweat with a ragged cloth, you stumbled and walked while carrying a bucket of water to your old wooden house.
It was hard to make a living, the minister of your area was evil, exploiting the people to death, and raising taxes beyond what people could pay. It was a nightmare- no worse at least you could wake up from nightmares but what about reality? can you wake up from it?
Sometimes you wanted to barge in and rip his head off. Too bad you could not, the guards were too strong, and with your strength you doubt you could ever survive.
Sighing, you returned to the river to fill your bucket again.
You had just bent over when a strong gust of wind started blowing out from nowhere, the trees shrieked as the water rippled- throwing you back 10 feet away with a slam- making you hit a tree. The sharp pain made your back go numb. As you tried to get up staggering- the wind kicked up a notch increasing it's speed and power like a cyclone. Your eyes widened in horror as you looked at what was happening- a big black hole appeared in the middle of the river; with water distorting around it and floating up defying gravity.
"What on-"
Before your brain could comprehend what just happened, a white-haired man flew out of the hole towards you, slamming into you-
Bang
Opening your eyes, you tried to get up, but- found the man on top of you, your legs intertwined together, he groaned as he tried to stand
"Ugh"
His voice was deep causing you to freeze a moment, but you came back to your senses and pushed him off
"Who are you!? You demon!" you screamed as you looked at him
"Me? Ah I am Gojo Satoru and no I am no demon, it's the first someone has called me a demon! sure I might be tall but it does not mean I am a demon haha~" he smiled as he looked at you helping you stand up
"What-!? but you j-"
"Do you know where this is? I am a bit in a hurry"
"This is Mizushima village…."
He paused
"What?…. since when did we have a Mizushima village in Japan? Isn't Mizushima an Island!? which prefecture even is this?"
"Prefecture? Our village is part of the Minamoto Clan on the West side"
He paused longer this time
"Minamoto Clan?…"
"Yeah"
"eh?" he froze as he cocked his head to the side
"For real?"
"Yeah"
"I….what-what era is this?" his voice trembled a bit
"This is the Heian Era…the year is 1185…" You looked at him as he stood grounded on the spot contemplating the meaning of his life
Now that you observed him, he was wearing weird clothing the fabric was also very different from what you had ever seen, it was so smooth and very different from cotton- almost otherworldly
"Is he a noble? from Heian-kyo?", you thought to yourself and backed away a bit
"I am…1000 years in the past oh shit"
"Shit? What does it mean? which part are you from? your Japanese is very weird" You looked at him even more confused, even his accent was weird and some words he used were different
"Ah…." he looked at you struggling to explain
"You see…I am from the future more than 1000 years from the future, I know it sounds absurd but..it is the truth" he looked at you seriously meaning every word he said
"Huh? What-what bullshit are you saying? Are you a psycho? possessed?" you looked at him bewildered
"What is bullshit?" he looked at you confused
"I-I am leaving; good day to you, to ask what bullshit means I- you should find a priest" Picking up your bucket you hurried away wondering why you always met weirdos
"Wait-!" he yelled but you turned deaf to his words and ran as fast as your feet allowed you to.
You ran as fast as you could but he appeared in front of you almost like magic
"Please listen to me! I am not lying!!" he grabbed you by the shoulders frantically
"I really am from the future!"
"You freak let go of me!! AHHHHH!" you punched him doing little to no damage and screaming
This continued for some time, you running and him teleporting wherever you were it went on for a few hours and soon both of you sat panting on the ground
"Man…you sure got some stamina.." he wiped the sweat off his forehead simultaneously removing the blindfold
You froze- his eyes- were breathtaking; looking into them your heart exploded like fireworks, so serene, it felt like you were looking at the sky itself. You had never seen such eyes ever
How can someone be this good-looking?
"What? too captive by my looks~ Ah I guess even in the Heian Era I am attractive~" he leaned in with a smirk causing you to look away blushing crimson
"Who would!? you demon! Get away!"
He pouted a bit disappointed
"H…How do I believe you are from the future? And your powers? What are you?"
"I am a sorcerer from the Gojo Clan and…as for how I am from the future…" he scratched his head
"Got it!"
He smirked and took out a weird looking box and opened it
"Here try some, I bet you have never eaten something like this! It is a cheesecake that too from a very famous shop"
With swift movement from his hands, he put the cake in your hands, its scent was sweet, it was jiggly- even a bit liquid-y making you wonder if it was poison
"You...you sure humans can eat this?" your hands trembled as you held the plate
"Yes, it is! here~" he took the fork in his hands and ate a small bite of the cake- grinning
"Ah it really is good~"
Seeing him eat it and look so elated you also wanted a bite- how bad could it be? with a gulp and sharp breath you took a bite- a bite so good it made your eyes light up-
The flavor was exploding in your mouth, it had a rich and creamy flavor with a slightly tangy and sweet taste. The texture was smooth and dense melting in your mouth it felt like heaven.
"It must be so expensive....even in death I doubt I could eat something like this.."
He paused for a moment but then a smile crept up his lips
"Eh it was nothing just enjoy~" he winked
"You should see your reaction~ now that's a nice expression! It makes me wonder what other reactions you can make if I gave you other things~" smirking he leaned in his breath inches away from yours
"So...Do you believe me now?"
"....Yeah" nodding you took another bite
"Yay! Thank you~ please look after me from now on~"
[Link to my master list~ enjoy!]
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akkivee ¡ 2 months ago
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hello vee.
@/twogallonhats on twitter made this iceberg, and now i am subjecting you to this. Explain to the best of your knowledge, good luck.
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay sure
idk why rhyme anima is listed tbh it’s just a zany anime version of hypmic but that very well may be the reason lol like it gave us a man by the name of tom whisper weathercock lol
there’s always a prolific push for your fav to win the drb lol. iirc during the championship round in the 1st drb there was a fan?? fans??? who gave money to some guy with a following to post a video of him asking everyone to vote for mtc lol. jp fans for the second got together and made eng/kor/ch instructions on how to vote in the vr battles it’s a time can’t wait for that to kick off next year 😬
arb is technically not canon and therefore ooc lol
idk what hypmic tictok sounds mean. i can tell you of a few times hypmic was trending on tiktok tho lol
idk if they were even a soundcloud rapper, but some soundcloud rapper fell in love with hypmic and decided to make ichiro his oc/persona and put himself on a team with jyushi and samatoki and they were california division lol
back in 2018???? hypmic posted a christmas video except it was just champagne gold and base hifumi.png in a santa hat slid across the screen truly graphic design is hypmic’s passion lol
i mean there was a brief time there were rp accounts on twt so ig that’s what it
kimura loves black people so much and wants to be black so bad he felt the need to bl@ckface for one of his album drops. fandom asked he take down the posts, he didn’t, fans called him out on it, he blocked them
around the time when there was rumblings that gbr was exiting uhhhhh the eu i think, a dice cosplayer had a video of themselves popping mentos in a coke bottle go viral. someone in british politics used it as a metaphor for whatever stance they had on brexit lol
lol i’m lumping hypstage and hypnama together since i don’t think there’s a real reason they’re listed other than occasionally being points of discussion
hifumi was the original tbh creature
asmr tubers vibe with hypmic characters being their yandere bfs
idk if it’s more than memeing on hitoya but that hitoya card in the pic was clowned on so hard LOL
i couldn’t tell you a specific instance of it but hypmic jank includes frequent misspellings lol
lol i also don’t know if there’s actual controversy behind oridivis besides them getting thanos snapped
*rio voice* curry friday and the mtc seiyuu used to celebrate it lol
there was a collab with some instant curry company (probably called curry meshi lol) and they had the leaders rap a song for it. the songs’ are fun and what’s even funnier is that the song has the leaders sharing this curry and kuukou technically didn’t eat the curry bc it was all gone by the time the cup reached him (and jakurai ate most of it LOL)
i have no fcking clue what weenor busujima is lol
the fact hyprice is a thing is a damn good reason to be here lol. ogs know a hypmic series producer made the joke in 2018 during a hypnama that spawned the concept years later lmao
there was a typo on kuukou’s introductory bio that said he was 68cm LOL
akuma no hana is indeed a song about sex idk what else to tell ya lol
throwback to the hypmic bathtubs they had a live for crazy ass hypmic merch moments lol
the hangout streams are located in this building called mixalive. instead tagging that building’s twt for one of their events, hypnosis flava iirc, they mistakenly tagged a porn twt lol
there was an art trend a few years ago where artists drew their bde faves (and even real people got in on the trend) balancing a shampoo bottle on their big 🍆. ichiro was unfortunately the face of the trend
stage hitoya went viral for that pic used in the iceberg and i had to see randos calling him a two face ass character ONLY HYPMICS ARE ALLOWED TO BULLY HITOYA DAMN YOU
the seiyuu are always getting up to shit backstage lmao tradition is ishiya-san and amasaki-san prowling up on the mtc seiyuu menacingly lmao
if there’s drama or anything of relevance outside of yes stream discords exist, ion know about it lol
a few songs are inspired by/interpolate from other songs. this a normal thing in the music industry (let’s get physical by olivia newton john and physical by dua lipa comes to mind) but hypmic caught a lot of flack for ‘stealing’ from black artists. shinogi dead pools is kendrick lamar’s drank swimming pools bar for bar lol but again, it’s very normal lol the whole kendrick vs drake rap battle that happened this year literally was them using each other’s sound to diss them
some european(?) indie film had an actor wearing ichiro’s jacket
there was a brief trend in jp where they made snow sculptures of their characters as means of attractions and hypmic jumped in on it. it produced the ugliest kuukou known to man he was so unflatteringly scrunckly i loved him LOL
????? bat seiyuu family???? i’m sure what i have in mind is not what they have in mind lol but i mean yeah it’s a running joke that the bat seiyuu consider each other family lol shoutout to sakakihara-san randomly calling hayama-san his ‘onii-chan’ and both hayama-san and sakakihara-san bullying tf outta takeuchi-san by calling him ‘papa’ lol
ariana grande is based about samatoki and there’s proof lol
hypmic vs crsm rap battle was REAL and fumiya wanted to EAT THEM
kamio-san has taken to slapping kuroda-san’s ass and kuroda-san has taken to trying to murder him for it 😌
quite recently lol mtr’s album art was leaked ahead of the hangout stream in a post meant to advertise the fan meeting lol
british dice was a theory i didn’t pay attention to bc i kinda thought just the concept was dumb *wheeze* i think it had something to do with a mistranslation about dice’s father
the rest of that tier i have no fcking clue about lol
in a camera transition during the 9th live, someone’s desktop background was on screen instead of the yknow, livestreaming concert lmao
they got some ddb members to make choreography to move your body til you die!!! i tried i didn’t think it was too bad but the pace of the dance needed to be slowed down eventually lol
if this isn’t poking fun at sensei saying men should automatically know how to rap idk what that is lol
if there’s a trip the mtc seiyuu have taken that stands out from the others, i don’t know about it lol
the hypmic cafe that’s going on rn have these stickers??? standees??? for sale and someone stole all of samatoki’s LOL
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minustwofingers ¡ 10 months ago
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cool about it teaser
pairing: closetedfem!reader x ellie
request? yes, by @gold-dustwomxn (:
summary: life in the apocalypse is hard enough. the last thing you need is unrequited feelings for your best friend—who is very much off limits. so you'll just be cool about it. really cool about it. set in a loose interpretation of canon where i toy around with the timeline and storyline just the slightest and this is also a bit of a slowburn
warnings: ur closeted asf, queer angst, gross men, explicit language, substance use
a/n: hey guys i haven't really been posting much recently, but i wanted to at least post two scenes from this series so u guys have an idea of what to expect...also so u guys can tell me which one you want me to work on more (love is a laserquest or this one). i hope u enjoy...sorry this one is a little disjointed! (there are many events that happen between the two scenes im sharing w u as a little treat)
I. (opening scene)
The revelation that your feelings towards your best friend had become complicated arrives with the dead of winter. It’s strange, really, how something within you came to life just as the rest of the world began to die. 
If you were wiser, you’d find ways to explain it away, to rationalize all the weird thoughts in your head. You’d cite the chill in the air. The holiday spirit running through Jackson. The desolation that came with your only outdoor companions being the brown corpses of deciduous trees and infected that hadn’t frozen in the winter storms that kept battering Wyoming. 
But with age came wisdom, and both of those virtues were in short supply in a post-apocalyptic world. So, you resign yourself to cataloging away these feelings and pretending like everything was absolutely normal and cool. 
The bad thing about having good things, you think to yourself bitterly one day as you watch Ellie’s eyes light up as she rambles in her room as you sit on her bed about a comic book Joel had found her, is that they’re risky. High risk—high reward. Ellie was special to you in a way that no one else was. And using this logic, losing her would bring such an unforeseen devastation that you weren’t sure that you could go on. 
So, normal. Cool. Chill. Because you cannot afford to fuck this one up. 
“I love when you tell me about your comics,” you tell her in a way that’s definitely not sappy sweet and gooey. 
She smiles crookedly back at you. “You’re such a fucking liar. I know you couldn’t give a shit about these.” 
“Am not!” You throw a punch at her arm, feeling your heart twist as she just grins wider. “For the record, I do give a shit. Many, actually.”
“That sounds gross.” 
“Your words, not mine.” 
And it’s absolutely gut wrenching how she can just smile at you like that, like she’s not holding your heart in her fist.
“So, uh, Cat,” you blurt out. You’d been staring at her for too long. “Dina said that you two were—uh…” 
You wave your hand around in the air like you’re sifting through thousands of possible word combinations. In reality, you know exactly what you need to say to get the answer you’re searching for. You just don’t want to ask. 
“Well…” She blushes. Her eyes drop to her hands, where her fingers are toying with the bits of cuticle she hasn’t already torn off. 
“I knew it!” you croon, hoping that the boatload of dread that just dropped in your stomach isn’t as obvious as it feels. “Tell me everything.”
“Nothing to tell,” she says. “Nothing yet, at least. It’s stupid but—I just noticed that she hangs around me a lot, you know? And, like, touches me more than she needs to. Shit like that. I dunno.”
The wound deep inside you splits like the fake grin on your lips. “Wowwwww. Look at you!” 
Ellie rolls her eyes. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I mean,” she says, her eyes twinkling conspiratorially, “What about Eddie? Jesse told me that you spend a lot of time with him.”
“We’re patrol partners,” you offer. It’s not a lie. You’re just choosing to omit the part where Eddie spends half his patrol staring longingly in your direction while you pretend not to notice. 
“I know that.”
“It’s…” You gnaw on your bottom lip. “I don’t know how I feel about that right now.” 
That’s not a lie either. Eddie is…nice. All the other girls like him, except for Dina (she has Jesse) and Ellie (she has another very obvious reason). He’s attractive. At least, that’s what Bonnie tells you. Apparently the buzzed hair and heavy bluntness found in all of his features is considered hot. 
But just because you’re not into him now doesn’t mean you could never be. That’s what your mother used to say about your father—she hadn’t liked him upon their first meeting. But it changed with time, and you’d rather have someone than be all alone. 
Ellie hums, picking at the cuticle of her thumb. “He likes you.”
“So I’ve heard.” 
“Well,” she says, “I heard Jesse’s putting on another bonfire tonight. Want to walk there together after dinner?” 
You spend another evening staring across the fire at your best friend, watching the warm glow of the flames warp and distort the shape of her and Cat, pressed up against each other and smiling wide. You aren’t sure why it makes you so uncomfortable to see them together. Homophobia? No. Maybe? You recently learned that that was a thing, but you don’t consider yourself bigoted, and being a homophobe is more of an opt-in situation, right? 
But when you try to reach deep inside to find a more plausible answer, there’s nothing. 
It’s your detachment from reality that lets Eddie drape a heavy, hard arm over your shoulder. 
“Hey,” he whispers into your ear. His breath is hot and warm. 
“Hey,” you whisper back, wanting nothing more than to get away. Thankfully, Ellie is too preoccupied with Cat to even look your way. You’re sure that you’d die if she saw Eddie touching you like this. 
“You look really pretty tonight.”
“Thank you.”
It’s like someone shone a spotlight on you, hung a sign on your neck that said, I am perceived and desired by men. You don’t know why this makes your skin crawl so much. 
Eddie’s fingers are tracing patterns on the flesh of your arm. You find that you’re grateful for the extra layer your sweatshirt sleeve provides. You don’t want him to touch you—don’t want to know what it’s like for him to deliberately make contact with your skin. 
The next time he speaks to you, it’s in a murmur that you suppose is meant to sound seductive. “You’re quiet today.”
“Just a little tired.” And now you feel guilty, because Eddie really hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s you who has an issue with a boy who’s perfectly nice and clearly likes you. 
He laughs like you’d said something funny, tightening his arm so you press into his side. His body is blazing hot like a furnace, and it feels hard and foreign.
II. (scene from somewhere in the middle )
“Sorry!” You titter at the crowd of your friends who formed at the sliding glass door. “Um—sorry.” 
It seems to be the only thing you can say. 
“Cat,” Ellie says, an edge of desperation in her voice. “Cat, please, it’s not like—”
“I’m pretty fucking sure of what I saw,” snaps Cat. She turns to Eddie, a vicious glint in her eyes. “Didn’t know your girl swung that way.” 
And then she shoves past the mass of people, Ellie kicking off from the deck railing with a stream of apologies falling from her lips as she follows behind. 
Eddie walks forward, confusion the dominant emotion in his wide face.
“Uh—I didn’t—”
“I’m really drunk,” you say to him, feeling the tears begin to spill down your cheeks. “It’s not like that. I promise it’s not like that. I don’t know why I did that.”
“Hey,” he says, opening his arms. “Come here. Why are you crying?” 
“I don’t know,” you sputter, stepping into him and pressing your snotty face into his shirt. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Fuck.”
“It’s really okay.” His hand finds the flat part of your back between your shoulder blade and rubs circles. “It’s just a chick. If it were, like, I dunno, Jesse, I would’ve been angry.”
“You’re not mad?” you ask, pulling away to look up at him. Maybe there’s something tonight you didn’t ruin. 
He smiles down at you. “‘Course not. Some guys find that shit hot, you know. Two girls kissing like that.”
The smile that seemed so innocent at first sends a sharp, chilling pang through your chest. He doesn’t seem to notice your hesitation in the way your face falls as his head dips to kiss you, doesn’t seem to register the disgust you exhibit until you have to shove yourself away.
“I’m really drunk,” you repeat, looking anywhere but his face. “I want to go to bed.” 
“I can come—”
“No.”
final a/n: like i said so sorry about how disjointed this is. i just want to get a feel for what my readers are more interested in for now!!
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chiiyuuvv ¡ 1 month ago
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xikers interview ★
idol!xikers 1.1k words
notes! very different formatting than my usual hcs.. credits to @andteamsluv because i would never thought to write something as if you're watching it, nice idea!
▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?
action!
“hello youtube!” a girl says, turning her direction to face the cameras pointed at her. “my name is user chiiyuuvv and today I will be interviewing these lovely ten boys: xikers!!” the camera pans to the boys sitting in a curve, each waving to the camera with a smile. “I'm sure our users are very familiar with kq’s youngest boy group, so let's head straight to the questions, shall we?”
question : describe y/n in one word 
the boys ooh and ahh at the question, some looking at the other members with a puzzled look on their face, others deep in thought as to what to say. the host starts talking again.
“i’m sure their fanbase, roady’s, are very familiar with y/n, xikers manager. i am very curious to hear what you say,” the interviewer stops to chuckle. “we will go from oldest to youngest, and please, explain why you chose said word.” the host smiles, before the camera shifts to minjae, xikers oldest member and leader. 
“what are hard question..” he chuckles, looking up at the white ceiling as he ponders about his answer choice. “i’d say she’s very.. reliable.”
“oh?” the host hums, tilting her head, “why do you choose that word?”
“well, she’s always there for me, even on my darkest days,” he stops when the members start awwing, making small hearts at minjae. he blushes, “shut up! anyways, she helps me unwind and is basically the second mother to these overgrown kids. she cares, even when she does have to.”
the room breaks into a series of claps when minjae finishes, the camera traveling across the members to land on junmin.
“hii,” he waves to the camera before starting. “y/n is very worrisome and i don’t understand why. she always asks if i showered, ate, practiced, etc. she says it’s because i’m bad at taking care of my health but that’s obviously not true, i feel completely fine!!” ironically, junmin starts coughing violently. he stops when one of the members fetches him a water bottle in which he chugs. he clears his throat, waving at the camera, “like i said, fine.”
user chiiyuuvv and the rest of the members look at each other to see if they witnessed the same thing. she clears her throat, “anyways, sumin! your turn!”
right on que, sumin turns dramatically to the camera before jumping up and running towards it, shaking the lens. “she’s a freak!!” he yells, the camera getting a close up of the inside of his mouth. 
“how so?”
“she keeps making these random, high pitched noises. either that, or she randomly bites me!”
“yeah, i think you’re describing yourself, min,” junmin chimes, the room erupting in laughter. sumin shakes his head like a mad man.
“and no one believes me either!!”
the host shakes off her giggle, pointing her finger at jinsik, gesturing that it’s his turn.
“oh, y/n’s supportive! she’s like my number one cheerleader!” jinsik says, looking ecstatic in front of the camera. “she even sent me a good luck message for today’s interview! love you y/n!!” he shapes his hands into two thumbs up, before forming it into a heart.
“we love supportive besties,” the host adds, jinsik nodding profoundly at her. “hyunwoo! your turn!”
“she’s weird,” hyunwoo deadpans, shrugging at the camera. “yeah, that’s all i have to say.”
“can you elaborate??” the host cranes her neck.
“i.. i really don’t know why i find her weird, if i'm being honest. maybe it’s because we get along strangely well. i dunno,” hyunwoo shrugs again, before pointing at junghoon. when junghoon gets the nod from the host, he begins.
“well unlike hyunwoo,” he answers snarky, side-eyeing the boy, “i find her very comforting. she’s always been super nice towards me and the other members, and she’s also very observant. she got yujun the bracelet he’s been eyeing for a week and a half,” on que, yujun shakes his wrist, showcasing the jewelry.  
“oh, it’s so pretty!!” user chiiyuuvv gasps, before turning to seeun. the camera follows her direction. “your turn!”
“my turn, eh?” seeun looks around with a smirk. no one says anything though, just stares blankly at the boy, waiting for him to continue. “no takers?? huh.. tough crowd. anyways, dudee she’s so annoying!”
the boys jaws drop as the host looks at him confused, “how so?”
“she keeps stealing my food!” the members take turns sucking their teeths, some unballing their fist like they were going to gang up on the boy for his words. “it’s okay though, since i have a way of getting back at her!” seeun shushes like what he’s going to say is top secret. “i just call her cute! she steals a chip, i say “what are you doing, cutie?”, and her cheeks puff up everytime, works like a charm! but seriously, she’s so cutee!!” seeun gushes like a school girl, covering his face with his hands as he kicks his feet. 
the host chuckles before nodding to yujun.
“y/n’s mean,” yujun huffs, crossing his arms. he continues before the host gestures to him to resume. “she keeps snitching on me to junmin! i keep getting in trouble because of her,” the boy pouts, junmin sighing.
“he thought he could get away with oversleeping when we had a full schedule today,” junmin informs to the group.
“i would have! if y/n didn’t say anything,” yujun rolls his eyes. of course he doesn’t actually mean it, because after all, you did gift him a brand new bracelet. 
the host chuckles at the boys behavior before pointing to hunter, “your turn!”
“y/n is tiny,” hunter says with an adoring grin. “it’s so hard taking her seriously when she’s nagging me about something. i mean, she’s half my size, the only thing i can think about is–”
“how cute she is??” seeun finishes his sentence, his eyes lighting up like he just hit the jackpot. hunter nods, before standing up and dapping up his best buddy.
the host chuckles again, “okay, very last member, yechan!!”
“y/n is my best friend,” yechan starts confidently, shrugging with a grin as he leans against his chair in a cool manner. “she was one of the very first people i met and like junghoon said, has been so kind. what makes me special, though, is that we share the same humor, therefore have plenty of inside jokes,” yechan nods, the members playfully rolling his eyes at him. 
“that sounds lovely, yechan,” user chiiyuuvv claps, before dusting off her legs, “well folks, looks like that's all the time we have today! i hope you enjoyed this very silly interview with 10 amazing boys! be sure to stream their latest comeback, give this video a thumbs up, and hit that follow button for more interviews with more kpop groups. before we end the video, xikers, anything you want to say?”
the host looks over to the boys standing up, eagerly facing the camera. “we love you, y/n!!” they shout in unison, before the cameras turn off.
cut!
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︴bonus! it's been so long since i've written about xikers
▸ taglist 📬 @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @nenede , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry , @yoiiwonn , @kookieswithjung , @wonootnoot , @pinievsev , @lis4lipsi , @everythingboutkpop
🎬 navi
@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers
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morurui ¡ 6 months ago
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CHAOS THEORY SPOILER REVIEW
Cause I just finished it and I have thoughts!
Sooooo I honestly have mixed feelings about Chaos Theory if I’m going to be honest I feel like there are some things that worked in my opinion and some things that didn’t really work for me so I’ll be separating this review into three parts: Things I liked, Things I wasn’t a fan of, and General thoughts.
Things I liked:
-The animation was absolutely gorgeous, it was such a step up from Camp Cretaceous that it’s weird to think that they’re apart of the same series. The team behind it did an absolutely amazing job!
-The last two episodes. Oh my god were those last two episodes so good, they had me at the edge of my seat as well as episode 10 finally giving us interactions between the entirety of the nublar 5
-YASAMMY. I think yasammy was done so well this season. Their fight was so real, nobody was totally in the wrong, but they both weren’t communicating their feelings to each other well and they resolved it in the end. It was just perfect
-Yasmina Fadoula. She was written so well I loved how they didn’t just completely forget she has PTSD and anxiety and included that in her character arc for this season. I also loved how they used her to address how bad it is to infantilize those with mental disorders. (Yaz and I are anxiety twins 🧘‍♀️)
-Mateo. The GOAT. I am the number one Mateo fan, dont ever forget it. I love that man and I will stand by him, I was stressing for his life during episode 10.
-Microbang villain girl was such a menacing villain at the end and I honestly love her. It’s clear that while she is using the atrociraptors for evil deeds she does clearly care for them. I desperately need to know more about her…
-Kenji and Brooklynn’s new voice actors do such a good job with the characters and while I’ll miss Jenna and Ryan, their new voices were casted very well!
Things I wasn’t a big fan of:
-Now to address the elephant in the room…Darius being in love with Brooklynn. (I’m going to try to look at this through an objective pov, but since I don’t ship dinostar obviously there’ll be a slight bias)(nothing wrong if you do ship Dinostar I’m happy for you, but these are just my feelings) Im not a big fan of this. To me I’ve never really read Darius and Brooklynn as being romantic together and their friendship is something I truly cherished about JWCC. I do see why they probably decided to make the decision to have Darius be in love with Brooklynn, but to me it’s kind of upsetting in a way to have Darius’s extreme grief response not be just because they were best friends. It feels like the writers were saying “Well, he’s not experiencing this grief so hard because she was his best friend, but it’s actually because he loves her!”. We’ve seen loss be something Darius takes extremely hard (His dad’s death and Ben’s death) and so I don’t really see why they made it so he was in love with her to justify his response when it’s in character without it. Idk man…
-Brooklynn being alive….HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I HATE BROOKLYNN SHES ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS. But idk these fake out deaths are starting getting to wear me down. Even Bumpy had a fake out death 😭. I get why they kept her alive being as she is a beloved character, but I just think it would’ve been better for her to be a character that somewhat haunts the narrative. It adds more onto the mystery, not only that but it allows the nublar five to explore “Hey our friend was hiding things from us and we’ll never truly get answers, but we’re going to find out what lead to her death and put a stop to it”. Which was what the nublar five are on a path to, until Brooklynn inevitably shows back up and explains everything. Also why did they give her the 2017 Katy Perry haircut…
-Kenji and Darius’s dynamic. I loved how they used their dynamic at the beginning of the show with Kenji blaming Darius for Brooklynn’s death, but beyond that moment their dynamic felt off to me. It was not helped by the whole Darius being in love with Brooklynn thing, but it just felt like they toned down their brotherly bond in this show (ironic since this is the first time we see them call themselves brothers)
General thoughts
-Jesus Christ was Kenji this shows punching bag 😭. He literally does not get a break, it just keeps on coming, breaking up with his girlfriend because she’s not invested in their relationship anymore, living in a trailer with a failing rock climbing business, his girlfriend kept secrets from him all while working with his estranged dad behind his back, his dad trying to use him again and then dying saving him, AND his brother was in love with his ex girlfriend. All in the span of ten episodes. If I was him I would have a mental breakdown every single day.
-Do yall think Ben actually has a girlfriend? I’m like at a 70/40 split, because he only talks about her two times and the first time he brings her up she totally sounds fake. “She’s from…Europe” Why did you have to think so much Benjamin? Also he fully just said she’s from the continent of Europe rather than a specific country in Europe. Also also it’s implied he hasn’t had a phone on him for a while so how does a long distance relationship work if he doesn’t have any means to contact her??? And he doesn’t even have a picture of her in his van. That man is hiding something I need to know…
-Ben and Darius had like 30-40 minutes of screen time shared between them, which is weird because like most of the show was marketed with them being the main protags and they barely interact beyond episode 4. (Their dynamic was too strong for people to handle “do you talk to your mother with that mouth” broke the world)
-Bumpy having a baby is something I predicted and I’m happy I was right!
Anyway that’s really it, sorry this was pretty long and excuse any typos or grammatical errors, but these were just some of my thoughts!
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lullabyalikpoptarot ¡ 2 months ago
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Jake Sim's Perspective Reading
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On to the next person for this reading series. I will say his energy is not as easy to break through as Heeseung, as for Heeseung I got messages rather quickly, but for him, there is a harder layer to get through here. Now, I don't only channel through cards, but I also can get messages, during this whole process. I also meditate on the energy to see if anything comes through as well.
Now, for these readings I do like to think of a main theme song, like I did for Heeseung. Although, he quickly gave me one. I had to dig to find one for Jake. the song that popped up was Hold My Heart by Sara Bareillas, with the lyrics, "I'm crying, is anybody listening, does anyone know how to hold my heart." This could indicate he wasn't emotionally nurtured growing up, yup going there, or he doesn't feel anyone understands his hurt or pain. So, we'll see if this has relevance throughout this reading. I also got the message hardened soul, which can indicate he is a hard shell to crack.
I am also seeing the Strength card in my mind when I think of him. Now the card I am thinking of is the card that popped up in that reading that showed a need to overpower women. What I am getting is there is some insecurity here that stems from not getting the support or validation from his Mom (all alleged, no facts) Going with what I am getting. I hate getting this feeling or going too personal, but it may be the only way to explain his side of things, so got to go there. Now his energy is pulling me to do the heavier decks first, unlike Heeseung, so we are going to start off strong, I guess.
So, I like to elaborate on the things I said about his Mom. I won’t say she was a bad Mom, but parents are human, and they may not always provide the emotional support and validation a child needs. This may be the case here, so this may be where his insecurity stems from. Which then gives him this need to want to overpower women. I do feel he isn’t aware of this or has addressed this as it can take a while to heal childhood wounds. I just felt the need to express this as this will help understand him a bit better and where he is coming from.
So, I am getting he tries to hide his true colors, maybe this has to do with his insecurities, but I am also getting this struggle to face himself. It is like he molds himself into something or tries to fit a mold. He cages himself in. His inability to face himself and show his true colors can lead him astray, or lead to disastrous results. It is like he falls for the trap each and every time, an endless cycle. Women can be tempting for him, maybe someone to conquer. Maybe they are a trigger for him, but how he is with women is a lesson he needs to learn. His relationships may trigger childhood wounds, as all romantic relationships will do, but for him it is a huge lesson for him. This is what he should work on healing, if not, his relationships will not end well for him and create despair for him. I am getting a lot of cards of showing a facade for him. There is a strong insecurity here, and that his need to show a better version of himself, even though he is flawed, seems to be very important to him. There could be some pent-up anger, or passive aggressiveness with him. I do see him being cool, calm, collected most of the time, but out of nowhere blow up and get very upset. Honestly, I do this too. It comes from lacking emotional maturity, calling myself out here too. I feel there could be anger he may have of someone, but may direct it at someone else, this could relate to romantic relationships. This could also be pent up frustrations from his childhood that he hasn't resolved.
I am not really sure he ever felt protected, and there is this need to protect his energy. I agree, his energy gives me way too much information, please work on protecting it! Although physically he can shield himself, energetically he is an open book. I am just getting there wasn't a gentle, loving protective figure in his life. There is a lot of stuck energy this boy has, and if energy is contained and gets stuck it could lead to illnesses, so he may want to work on clearing out this energy. I agree his energy is stuck, because every time I read for him, the same strong message pops up. There is a message for him to work on healing and integrate this into his life. I really wish I knew this boy in real life, so I could tell him all this. He really needs to heal his wounds, if not, he will have a battle with who he is and how he may treat relationships with women. Healing work/shadow work is very hard, but it needs to be done to become a better and happier person. I just keep seeing the card Fated to Suffer from my one deck in my head, he did get that card. This means that may be his fate if he doesn't heal. I would suggest for him to practice mediation, this may be helpful for him on his healing journey.
He utilizes his career as an idol to gain this validation he craves. He craves the attention. But for him to transcend and reach a higher level of awareness he should work on healing, yup lots of cards of healing here coming up for him. There is something about giving and receiving love in a healthy manner. To find value in his loving relationships, but also find value and love within himself. Not sure he has much love for himself either. He will need to release the skeletons he has, do some shadow work to remove the stagnant energy that keeps him in a loop. Okay, I will finish off with some Tarot cards, because it just seems there is repeated themes here. Which means this is important lesson for him to learn.
Jesus, they really want to stress the importance of his connections. He got all cups from this deck, so yeah, this shows he is a very sensitive and emotional persons and that connections he has will teach him a lot about himself. So, I am using a deck with keywords on the card, and for the 2 of cups he got, the keywords intimate connections and romantic connections stick out, this indicates relationships will be important to him on his life journey. I can see him being very heavily influenced by his emotions. So, I also got a card with Pisces energy, the words that stick out are, overly emotional, sensitive, romantic, moodiness and can't let go. These could be things he may need to address with how he goes about things. And last, he got the King of Cups, which is an emotionally stable card, which is great. Generally, he is pretty emotionally stable, caring, loving and compassionate. He can be very intuned with his emotions, but this energy can also create a barrier to their emotions, so it can be hard to get deeper with him. So, he might make it hard to penetrate through to deeper levels of him.
Okay, so I was drawn to another deck as well, now why they drew me to this?, because girl, he isn't seeing this, and this deck is for your own personal journey, but maybe they want you to know. So, once again, another card about validation is popping up, the card wants him to recognize that validation is within himself, not externally, so it is important to seek validation from within, his validation is enough. And once again, another card of him needing to release some things, be it negative and limited thoughts about himself, or self-criticism he may have. He should create an open space filled with love, abundance, positivity and opportunities. They also suggest him doing morning rituals or practices that help him tune in to himself *cough* mediation I am guessing. He should take space for himself first thing. He should not rush first thing or look online first thing in the morning. But focus more on what is going on with him and be still for a bit, before going about his day. I know that will probably be hard for him, but that is what I got.
Okay, this was long. This wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be, wasn't too bad. I am glad I did this, because I felt I humanized him a bit more here, because my readings of him put him in a negative light and that is not my intention, so hopefully this sheds light on him.
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