#also @ the people who hate catcher in the rye- who hurt you?

[marsystars]

Holden from catcher in the rye is such a little bitch boy and I hate him and I also had a crush on him as a kid and I continue to read the book and he just needs a hug and hes literally just a guy and he just makes mistakes like every human does and i just want to let him know its ok and i just he and ok and he was hurt and emotionally neglected and maybe we just need to give him a hug and tell him that we're proud of him maybe and its ok to feel these feelings and its ok and maybe ppl who hate on him need to realize that hes a fucking kid and the book was written to speak to people who never really verbalize their thoughts so maybe fuck you to anyone who thinks that catcher in the rye is a book about a dude who complains to people and traumadumps like no? yes hes very judgemental but he never verbalizes it,the book is is fucking mind you dumb little dummy! you silly little billy!

[touristbree]

Nalo

🐉 Overview 🐉

Name: Nalomauna “Nalo” Woods

Gender: Demigirl (She/Her/They/Them)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Info:

Nalo is a student of Naranja Academy from Alola, and president of a Pokemon racing club she started: The Comets. She takes the place of the main character for Pokémon Scarlet (but doesn’t perfectly slide into the role). She’s also a boss of Team Star, and specializes in Dragon-Dark Types, and she has prosthetic legs.

She leads the Polaris Squad, located just outside Alfornada protecting a mountain top spring (where Nalo had a secret garden). The base has a reputation of being strong but also super chill unless threatened.

🐉 Personality 🐉

Nalo’s personality is very similar to Holden Caulfield from “Catcher in The Rye”. When you first meet her, she’s typically annoyed and hates interacting with other people. But her rough exterior is more so a defensiveness against being hurt by others. She hates therapy because it makes her feel like some experiment, and she has a habit of getting defensive when people get close to her issues.

She’s Native Alolan and is very dedicated to preserving Alolan culture.

She’s slowly learning about herself and she likes more “girly outfits” casually.

🐉 Relationships 🐉

Nalo loves her Uncle Kuahi Woods… except she never met him. He worked for the International Police and supposedly died in a car crash some years before she was born. When she was born, her grandpa noticed how much she resembled him and named her “Nalomauna” in respect to him (Her name means “Lost Mountain”. “Kuahi” is Hawaiian for “Somewhere”, and is short for “Hua Kuahiwi”, which combined with his last name makes: “Wood’s Hau Kuahiwi”, the nickname for “Hibiscadelphus woodii”, a plant species that was believed to be extinct, until 2019 when three individuals were found on a cliffside). She also had a close relationship with her grandfather who died when she was young, he always taught her about Alolan history and beliefs.

Nalo joined Team Star sometime after coming to Paldea and is close to all the bosses. She likes hearing Atticus ramble about art, she affectionately teases Giacomo a lot, Ortega loves racing her and they’re friendly rivals, and Eri often tries to keep her from getting hurt or in danger (but nothing can stop Nalo from having her fun)…. They also just straight-up fight sometimes. She’s closest to Mela who developed a crush on her, they’re just a pair of chaos-causing friends.

Nalo helped Penny bring down Team Star to protect them, and between missions became close friends with her. Nalo affectionately teases her and visits her a lot, and usually likes helping her pull pranks. After Starfall, not much changes, she still teases Penny, but they just have the addition of being members of Team Star.

She befriends Arven after she discovers Toothless (more on him later) and they slowly bond as they battled Titans and collected Herba Mystica. Neglectful mothers and absent fathers make them sympathize with each other, and mutual teasing and friendly fights make them best friends. They also mutually call “bullshit” on each other when the other starts going quiet about stuff that’s bothering them.

Nemona and her are rivals to enemies to friends to girlfriends. Nemona’s cheery and sunny disposition clashes with Nalo’s cynicism, but they get along it’s part of the reason why they like each other. Nemona often tries to get Nalo to see the bright side and be a part of the school community, and Nalo gives Nemona the brutal honesty she needs sometimes. She and Nemona start dating sometime during Teal Mask (which I place after Indigo Disk) after both realizing how much they loved the other’s company.

Nurse Miriam was the first adult that Nalo felt she can talk to honestly. She visited Miriam’s office very often, be it to talk or because she crashed Toothless again and the two developed a genuine mother-daughter relationship. Nalo’s mom wanted her to return home at one point so she wouldn’t have to pay for dorms, but Miriam stepped in and let Nalo live with her, Ms. Dendra and Tulip (Miriam, Dendra, and Tulip are one big poly relationship and no one can stop me), and after some time, Miriam does adopt Nalo.

As for her other two moms: Dendra tries to get her pumped up and is usually the one to get her out of the bed in the morning when Nemona can’t. She initially hated Tulip when she challenged her gym, but communication is a thing and their relationship slowly improving, Nalo slowly learning about make-up from Tulip.

🐉 Team 🐉

Toothless is a koraidon and Nalo’s ace pokemon. Nalo saw Toothless fall out of the sky and was quick to investigate, she had some food with her which she used to heal him… and accidentally formed a bond with him. She tried returning him to Arven, but he refused to go back with Arven so she begrudgingly brought him home with her. He was her only other pokemon when she was in Team Star, and kept him out of his pokeball a lot, she formally named him after she was kicked out of Team Star, he comforted her, and she learned how to ride him (I’ll explain later). She rid various pokemon in Alola but mastered driving Toothless, often scaring people by running at them at top speed and leaping over them, and Toothless loves it. He’s also a big cat who steals her things and insists on getting the most attention from others, he’s often the one who keeps her in check and makes sure she doesn’t over exert herself.

Misteria is her shiny Meowscarada and is second to Toothless. She was given Misteria at an event for abroad students, Miriam gave Nalo Misteria as the other starters didn’t seem to like her and Misteria refused to even come out of her cage. She loves being a mischievous little gremlin, and hates to be touched, being defensive since her shiny coloration made her the target for hunters. Nalo is the only one who may pet her.

Haki ʻāʻī is Nalo’s Talonflame and the main form of air transport. Haki ʻāʻī found Nalo as she tried to out speed Toothless as a fletchling, which made Nalo want to catch her. Haki ʻāʻī helped her through the gym circuit and is her fastest-flying pokemon. Haki ʻāʻī is Toothless’ main rival.

Dusty is a Midnight Lycanroc that Nalo tripped on her way to Cortondo, and his love of digging soon caught her heart. He’s great at solo ground races, his main strategy being to dig under his opponent and trip them.

Haehae is a Garchomp that Nalo caught on her gym circuit, specifically in Colonnade Hollow where it challenged Toothless, believing him to be a worthy opponent. But Toothless developed a crush on Haehae and makes Haehae a little cuddlier. Haehae is one of Nalo’s strongest pokemon, being a member of the team she uses as a Team Star boss.

Creciente is a Roaring Moon she caught post-Area Zero when some Paradox pokemon were slowly escaping Area Zero and Her, Nemona, Penny, Arven, and Team Star teamed up to capture the escapees. She thought it was so cool she just had to keep it, and it’s part of her Team Star Team which consists of Toothless, Haehae, and Him.

Some Misc. Pokémon that she has but doesn’t exactly use for her main team are:

- Makua, an Alolan Meowth who follows her from Alola. Meowths always followed her back in Alola like guardian angels watching over her. This one followed her all the way to Paldea, it tries staying hidden but will happily cuddle up with her on stormy nights.

- Ola is a Lurantis who protects her mountain top garden. She caught it as a Fomantis because it reminded her of home in Alola.

- Akahele, an Absol she befriended in Alola years ago and reunited with several years later. She tries her best to keep Nalo out of danger… but it’s tough.

- Enekini is her dragon type Starmobile, it has the ability rain dish and knows rain dance.

🐉 Backstory 🐉

Growing up in Alola, Nalo struggled in every social department: Her mother often neglected her, her love of chaos scared potential friends away, and her love of chaos made other kids warn each other about her. She was 10 during the events of Sun and Moon and was attacked by a ‘Monster’ during said events, being trapped under rubble, and she was found a week later, she had to have her legs amputated due to infection which is when she met my OC Ilex who built her a pair of legs that could “pass” for real ones when covered.

She was expelled from various schools across Alola, with her most recent expulsion being for riding a Tauros through the halls of the school (she asserts no one was harmed and there was minimal property damage). This was the last straw for Nalo’s mother who was now threatening to send her to the International Police Youth Agent Academy, which Nalo saw as a death sentence, and if she was expelled from her next school, she’d be sent straight to the academy.

She was sent to Paldea, met Penny on the bus ride from the airport, and met Nemona while she was moving into her new dorm. It was also at her dorm that she noticed something falling out of the sky, she rushed to investigate and discovered Toothless, feeding him a bit of a sandwich she was saving for breakfast. Toothless was thankful, and Nalo’s kindness made him want to stick with her, much to her reluctance. She also met Arven who tried taking Toothless back… but Toothless wanted to be with Nalo, so she kept him.

There was a starter pokemon event where she met Miriam and got Misteria… but it was outside the event that she met Mela who went on to introduce her to the rest of Team Star. She arrived in Paldea mid-summer and spent the rest of the summer and some of the first months at school bonding with Team Star. What made her leave was Clavell’s threat to expel Team Star

She couldn’t admit why she was leaving the team, but Mela had a crush and her heartbreak was masked by anger which led to her saying Nalo had declared war on them. She escaped on Toothless’ back… and she cried on a nearby hill, Toothless comforted her, and she gave him his name.

The Treasure Hunt begins and she decides to do the gym circuit since it reminded her of the Island Challenge (when she isn’t a fan of battling), which made Nemona excited, hoping she had the potential for a friend and rival. Arven asked for her help in defeating titans, Cassiopeia recruited her to Operation Starfall, and she now got to go through the main game of Pokemon Scarlet. I won’t go into detail, but let me highlight some moments in each storyline:

She and Arven didn’t get along during their first Titan, but she quickly changed her tune when she learned he was trying to heal his Mabosstiff and apologized for being an ass. She saw right through Clavell’s disguise but just rolled with it. She had a hard time battling her former friends, wishing she could hang out with them again. She hates Tulip and Iono, and has mixed feelings about the other gym leaders, but despised how set Nemona was on making them her rival.

The day soon came when she had to battle the Elite Four… at the same time Arven was taking on the last titan and that night she’d battle Cassiopeia. The Elite Four was tough and she kept nearly losing and kept getting worried for her teammates, Nemona talks to her before she can battle Geeta… and she blows up at Nemona: She doesn’t want to battle and she doesn’t want to be molded into Nemona’s ideal friend, so she abandons the gym circuit completely. She gets to Arven, and they defeat the Fake Dragon Titan and save Mabosstiff.

She has the battle with Cassiopeia, learning it’s Penny, and watches as Team Star reunites. Clavell takes back his threat of expulsion and brings up the Star Training Centers. Nalo is set to leave… but Mela reveals she told the others the situation and she’s welcomed back into the team with open arms.

Now For Area Zero!

She got a strange call one morning from Sada… Arven got it too, they now had to go down to Area Zero, and Nalo recruited Penny to help hack for the team, and Nemona overheard their plans, threatened to tell Clavell, and joined too. Nalo tries to keep Toothless calm but he hides away, and Arven and Penny’s fighting means she assigns herself as the team captain as they venture down, learning about Arven’s mom and the paradox pokemon. Penny and Arven bond, Nemona and Nalo salvage their friendship, and Nalo discovers the truth about Arven’s mom, confronting the android built in her image and she trusts Nemona to take on the final battle and command Toothless’ battle form.

Afterward, she gives Arven time to heal, and Nemona formally apologizes for trying to mold Nalo into her rival and agrees to do something Nalo likes… she regrets it immediately as Nalo takes her on a ride on Toothless where they nearly die multiple times. She realizes her love of speed and starts a racing club at Naranja Academy: The Comets. Giacomo and Ortega are the first members.

[sunshinewomann]

Sorry I just have a catcher in the rye thought omg I just had an epiphany going through your blog! This connection might be mentioned in the book when he’s talking about it but I can’t remember BUT— His hand is forever messed up from hurting it after he found out Allie died… and Allies baseball glove has all the nice words and poems and stuff on that Allie wrote on it. Which goes on a hand and it’s almost like Allies words on the glove are protecting him and suggests that the glove can “cover” the grief and pain if he wears it, almost like how Holdens red hat is his own “cover” for all his fear and anxiety. So glove is kind of like hat. Holden protects himself with the hat as a physical reminder and but ultimately Allie is what protects him.. thank you for coming to my Ted talk lol!

duuuuude that's genius. J.D. Salinger seems to have a kind of clothing archetype going on, with the glove and the hat and of course Holden's houndstooth jacket he keeps reminding Stradlater not to stretch.

i recall in my 8th grade literature class when we read lord of the rings, my teacher keeping on saying how clothing archetypes work: size is a big tell tale. Clothes are talked about a lot in Lord Of The Rings. Mainly, if clothes don't fit the character it's usually tell tale that the character doesn't feel right in their own body. This isn't exactly what's going on with Holden, which makes it far more interesting: Holden doesn't want his clothes altered (or he switches them around, like his red hat). I noticed a bunch of Holden telling Stradlater to not stretch his coat-- honestly the meaning of it goes right over my head right now. Obviously the coat doesn't fit stradlater if Holden is so worried he'll stretch it, which could mean that none of Holden's thoughts or ideas or observations of the world fit anyone else but him (that might be a stretch, no pun intended). We know a lot of the book is showing us how Holden thinks, and a lot of people hate Holden for it, because a lot of people can't relate to his line of thinking. I feel like this idea and the clothing idea are related, but who knows! thanks for coming to MY ted talk. (also stradlater was needing Holden's coat to see Jane Gallagher, who Holden crushed on--might be another factor to analyse).

[alastanor]

To start, I would like to thank @cis-het-angel-kinnie for bringing this video to my attention, even if it was to praise the video rather than to point out it's flawed arguments against Charlie for main character.

If you have not seen the video yet, I recommend giving it a watch prior to reading this or you may be confused.

Click to read more...

What Is A Protagonist?

I am not bringing up this question because I think the source used was incorrect. However, the statement that "protagonists ask questions and antagonists make arguments" is an oversimplification of both roles. And I am going to explain why.

The trope of protagonist vs antagonist is an age old theme which has been used countless times throughout storytelling's history in books, plays, films, and story-driven video games. As such, the definition of both roles has continued to flourish and evolve over time. It is no longer good vs evil.

While @diregentleman used books written by, I assume, published writers for his argument, I am going to use Creative Writing and Literary Experts from a Masterclass article.

In the article, a protagonist is described as this:

"In storytelling, a protagonist is the main character or principal character or group of characters in a story."

More than one character is capable of being an antagonist in this story. Given that demons are meant to be redeemed, fitting the theme of the story, it is fair to surmise that all (or the majority of) the demons surrounding Charlie are protagonists in some form.

The article goes on to state that the protagonist's goals reflect the overall story goals and the plot moves forward based on their decisions.

This being said, Charlie's overall goal reflects the premise of the story, that being that Hazbin Hotel is a story about redemption. This is a goal that Angel Dust does not have.

In DireGentleman's video, he claims Angel Dust joined the Happy Hotel with the intention of being redeemed, albeit skeptical whether it could actually be done. This is actually inaccurate, and we see this in both the pilot and the comic.

Angel does display skepticism straight from the gate, but when they explain their reason for approaching him (that no one else has agreed), he makes this face:

Does that really look like someone who believes redemption may be possible? But for further establishment of just how little Angel believes redemption is possible, Angel also laughs them off and calls their goal "lame."

The only reason Angel agrees to Charlie and Vaggie's proposition is because it is a rent free place to stay. He admits as much just a bit further into the comic. By the end, Angel says "Redemption, it's silly. Huh, Nuggs."

The tone we are led to believe he uses is one of contemplation and relief. Relief due likely to the fact that there is some light at the end of the tunnel to the shit situation he was in.

This is just comic evidence, of course. If we go to the pilot, when Angel is engaging in the turf war with Cherri Bomb, he explains that he is using Charlie and Vaggie for free rent. Further exemplified when he later asks if participating in the turf war meant he didn't have a free room anymore. But also in his conversation with Cherri, he also admits that he is still taking some drugs behind Charlie and Vaggie's back. Something that we see immediately toward the opening of the pilot when Angel buys a bag of Angel Dust.

Character Dynamic

I cannot emphasize this enough, the Hunicast is NOT a good exemplifier for character dynamics. Every single "character interaction" is based on fanon, not canon, and they are prompted by the fans themselves. Only Viv really knows exactly how Angel and Alastor would canonically interact. It is no better a source for character dynamic than the wiki is for accurate information. IE, some things may hold true, but the majority of it is not and it is better just to wait until it is confirmed canon.

Moving on...

There is a lot of focus on Valentino as a main antagonist, based entirely too much on the hope that Angel will be the main protagonist. And this is really just disingenuous when you consider there are two other implied Overlords, as well as several other sources of strife within the world of Hazbin Hotel.

An Antagonist is someone working against the protagonist to prevent them from achieving their goal. Alastor would not meet this criteria, as he is a self-professed observer and conflict creator. But he is not a main antagonist. Someone working against the goal of redemption could be anyone from the Overlords (which, far as we know, would include Valentino), Lucifer, or even Heaven itself.

Where antagonists come into play, quoting Masterlist once again, I think these two types of antagonists were overlooked:

A conflict-creator. An antagonist doesn’t have to be a “bad guy.” Sometimes, they’re just a character whose goals are in direct conflict with the protagonist’s, like Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Javert working to arrest Valjean in Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables.

The protagonist themselves. The main source of conflict in a story can be from within the protagonist themselves—their shortcomings or insecurities are keeping them from reaching their goal. A prime example of this is Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. While Holden comes into conflict with many characters in the novel, the ever-present antagonizing conflict comes from his own obsessions and insecurities.

Now, why did I bring up these two types? Well! I'm glad you asked! You see, where conflict-creator comes into play would line up more with Alastor. He isn't really the bad guy, but he does create some friction where his goals meet with Charlie's. He is a professed observer, but it is strongly believed that there is something else, another goal, that he has omitted.

As for the Protagonist themselves, this lines up pretty strongly where Charlie is concerned. You could argue that it does for Angel too, but Angel's goal, as mentioned before, is not Redemption. That goal is Charlie's, and hers alone. Yet it is her naivety, inexperience, and insecurities surrounding her failures as a princess that are holding her back from achieving her goal. Going by this, not only do we have multiple protagonists, but we also have multiple antagonists.

"So far, no one else's past is wrought with tension like Angel Dust's."

Even if this wasn't a sweeping, dismissive statement made with limited information, it would still be incorrect. Why? Because each and every character in Hazbin Hotel is going to have their own story to tell. Stories that will each be as relatable and wrought with tension, the only reason we know Angel so extensively is because Viv put the most work into him. She has admitted that Alastor and Angel were characters she wrote based on past dealings and experiences she had. Let those implications sink in a bit.

Now, to further this, people don't need to empathize with a character to like them. They can sympathize as well, even if they personally cannot relate to the emotions the character is feeling.

And where Angel is concerned, he is not addicted to drugs. Angel has used drugs to escape the pain of his trauma. His response in the pilot to having his drugs stolen from him is not one of a typical addict. Which leads us to believe the drugs are simply a coping mechanism more than they are an addiction.

Real Audience for Hazbin is 12 to 16

I would really fucking hope you are joking. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this was said by someone who isn't a parent. While yes, kids will be sneaky and watch or play things they're not supposed to, a show with drug use/abuse, rape, sex, physical/mental/emotional abuse, and suicide is as much for them as Rick and Morty.

Further, it is not just these themes that make the show for adults. It is the format of the storytelling. Yes, you can complain about what you consider issues with the pilot. But at the end of the day, it did it's job. It established the story premise, introduced important characters (Fat Nuggets does not fall in that category, calm down), gave a basic understanding of their relationships to each other, and get the audience interested in continuing the series. Considering the views for the pilot and the resulting disproportionate growth of the fandom, I would say it did that in spades.

Hazbin Hotel is not Steven Universe. I cannot say this enough times, and the reason I cannot is because I cannot tell you how many times I have come into contact with the underage side of the fandom griping about lack of lore, griping about lack of production information, and overall being exceedingly impatient. At the risk of sounding like an old miser, the underage side of the fandom has never had to wait for additions to a series. Like waiting for Homestuck updates, or the new release of a Harry Potter novel. They have had a steady schedule of content, along with shows that give exposition dumps "in the first 3 minutes."

So don't look at Hazbin Hotel through the lens of kids' show fandoms. It has so much more to offer than that.

Alastor vs Valentino

No, this is not about whether Alastor could beat up Valentino. In the video, DireGentleman pulled a huge pet peeve of mine and lumped Valentino and Alastor together, labeling them both "monsters." Which is opening a huge can of worms for me. So, I will give a brief summary of why that is wrong, and provide a link to one of my other posts for deeper diving.

So, there is a reason why Valentino is more hated than Alastor is. Lumping them together is a mistake.

Valentino is a pimp that abuses and manipulates his victims through intimidation and (implied through) some kind of addiction to the red smoke (whether that is real or symbolism is yet unknown). He takes who and what he wants, be damned the consequences or who gets hurt. He is incredibly self-serving, with no consideration for anyone else. He uses people like pawns, and when those pawns refuse to do what he wants, what does he do? He forces them to do it anyway.

By comparison, while Alastor may use his people like pawns, he also has more consideration for them and doesn't abuse them (far as we can tell). The evidence to support this is the attitude of those serving under Valentino vs those under Alastor. Niffty and Husk both seem to not have a problem with Alastor, and where Husk is concerned it seems that his attitude toward Alastor is their typical banter. But definitely nothing that displays abuse. In fact, when Husker is hesitant or even refusing to do as Alastor asks, Alastor doesn't force Husker. He offers payment in the form of something Husker genuinely likes.

Now, while some might argue this is also manipulating through addiction, one could look at it this way. However, Alastor didn't make Husker an alcoholic. That was Husker's vice to begin with, Alastor simply has no intention of fixing it. After all, Alastor has said he doesn't think anything can change a sinner.

For further explanation and delving into Alastor, click here.

Parents don't 'get' Charlie = Disney Princess

Once again, we fall upon the slippery slope of disinformed statements. While the joke was made that the princess of hell expresses herself best through song, parent issues do not equate to being something that is relatable primarily or only to kids and teens. It's kind of offensive that there is a sort or implication in this statement that adults don't have issues like insecurities surrounding their own failures, or parent issues like what Charlie has or worse. And once again, we fall into the empathize vs sympathize realm and I once again will say that the audience does not need to empathize with the protagonist to make them a good protagonist.

Charlie is a failed princess, her people don't respect her and didn't even prior to her hotel announcement. Yes, she is sheltered and naive. Likely due to how little she was able or allowed to interact with sinners. After all, her ex-boyfriend was from another hellborn family. One that, from what we can surmise, interacts rather frequently with the Magne family.

And it is because of this naivety and inexperience that her method to redeem sinners will not work.

In the video, DireGentleman states that we can pretty much assume that Charlie's redemption methods will work. But her methods, as we see in her song, is to inject demons with meds and take away/burn their vices. She is seeking immediate resolutions to problems that require therapy and a long process that should be making sinners want to change. All Charlie is currently accomplishing is earning the ire and scrutiny of her people. This is why I previously mentioned that Charlie is both protagonist and antagonist, as she is getting in her own way to accomplishing the goal of redemption. And this is where we find that Charlie meets the "starts out being wrong" requirement mentioned in the video as well as "admiring a character for trying."

Charlie is also in a perfect position to be the tour guide for us, the audience, as we observe the metamorphosis of every demon who needs to be redeemed. She is, once again, surrounded by those who need to be redeemed which means we will witness every character arc. This includes Angel, who does not need to be the central focus for us to witness his story.

Finally...

It was stated, or at least implied, that Hazbin Hotel's pilot is no longer relevant. This is a statement that pretty much leaves me puzzled. The only way it would be irrelevant is if Hazbin went in a completely different direction, and we have no reason to believe it will. Vivziepop is still creative director for Hazbin Hotel, and A24 is notorious for giving creators their creative freedom. What A24 is doing is animating, making VA regulations, and ensuring there is an air tight lid kept on the project. Especially given it's popularity in such a short amount of time.

Contrary to what DireGentleman said, Hazbin Hotel will definitely live up to it's hype. Being picked up by A24 will not compromise the show simply because it's not in the same realm of indie production that Helluva Boss is. And it's a bit unfair to Vivziepop to imply as much.

In Conclusion...

Please do a bit more digging in regards to not only the show, but everything surrounding it. Don't lump fanon and canon together and expect them to be equal sources, and please do not claim an obviously adult-audience show is more fit for children and teens.

And lastly, please do more digging to better understand media and storytelling. Reading books is great, but what you were using as the foundation for your arguments were far too simplified and vague,, given the complexity of the protagonist and antagonist roles. Overall, the video just came across as one huge helping of Angel Dust bias with a side of strong dislike for Charlie.

[thatgothlibrarian]

I normally stay out of shit like this, but I want to say a thing because I’m cranky and it’s keeping me distracted from other things in my life that are making me feel awful this week:

It is perfectly okay to not like things depicted in fiction. It is okay to be disgusted by them, hurt by them, angered by them.

It is not okay to say that those things should not exist in fiction or art, or that people who enjoy them are monsters or even endorse them in real life.

I am a librarian, and one of my Hills I Will Fucking Die On is intellectual freedom. This means that people are allowed to read/etc whatever they want, for whatever reason they want. I of course do not support fascism or hate speech or child pornography (which has a very specific definition, and I do not support it in any way where children are being harmed), but books and art are things that can be ignored, and even studied academically or read by people who don’t agree with them, etc.

When I was getting my Master’s degree in library science, the woman who advised my thesis is one of the leading scholars on book banning, book challenges, and censorship. She has written books, served on boards, etc.

She told me that, no matter what political or moral or religious position a challenge is coming from, they all have one thing in common: we believe that reading is so powerful that it can change us, and we do not trust certain groups to change in the way we want. And those groups are: women, children, people of color (especially black people), and queer people.

We do not trust that these groups can handle fiction that is deemed problematic or harmful, we infantilize them and make that decision for them. We say that Fifty Shades of Grey is going to give women unrealistic idea about BDSM and they will get hurt, while we completely ignore the thousands of violent thrillers written by and for men.

We say that transgressive fiction (incest, necrophilia, pedophilia, etc etc) should not exist, that people should not create or consume it, that people who do endorse that in real life.

Societies of all types have been having this argument forever. What is and isn’t allowed to be in fiction. This is how we get obscenity trials. Book bans. Authors arrested.

Howl went through an obscenity trial. Ulysses went through an obscenity trial. Dorian Gray didn’t get published in its uncensored form until 2011. The American Library Association has Banned Books week every year where they list the top ten books that have the most challenges, and most of them have LGBT content, and others are “canon” like Slaughterhouse Five, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, etc. These books aren’t even considered transgressive fiction!

Now. When this argument is happening with regards to fan fiction and fanworks, I don’t think it has the same cultural severity as published fiction, but it does reflect the same mindset, and that’s fucking scary to me.

I encourage you to read up on book banning and transgressive fiction:

Book Banning in 21st Century America by Emily JM Knox (my former graduate adviser!!!)

Banned Books Week

Transgressive Fiction

A list of books on obscenity trials with info on where to get them from libraries

A list of books on the history of censorship in the United States and where to get them from libraries

A list of books on censorship of fiction and where to get them from libraries

A list of books on literature and morals and where to get them from libraries

And I encourage you to check the subject terms on these books, because there’s a whole lot more I’m not including but these are some good basics.

Post script:

Do not fucking call people degenerates. That term is rooted in white supremacy like, pre-Nazi, and is used by fascists to label those who do not fit the fascist ideal of a person (white, cishet, able-bodied, etc.)

I might call myself a decadent degenerate, but I’m queer and I’m allowed and I don’t call other people that.

EDIT: Also, don’t be like “oh you can write about X but only if you make it clear it’s Bad.” Nope also bad.

Edit part two electric boogaloo: The fact that I say “don’t call people who write/read/like transgressive fiction degenerates” is not censorship. Hate speech and slurs hurt people. They are also not fiction and therefore not the subject of this post. The discussion of hate speech is another discussion entirely, but me saying “hey it’s not cool to do this” does not equal you facing literal punishment from the state for doing it.

[scarlettroubles]

🧡 💗 🍊📙 for the ask? :D

🧡 Who is your OC’s favourite person? Why is this person the top of their list and have they actually met them (an idol or rolemodel or celeb can be someone’s favourite after all!).

If were gonna go with just the in-game characters then definitely Rowan, Chiara and Barnaby.

Eileen often seeks these three out when she needs to rant or seek comfort or advice. Eileen is incredibly close with Rowan and loves her dearly, she is the first friend she made when she was finally going to Hogwarts after all. Their relationship definitely gets a little rocky by fourth year since Eileen only ever seems to seek her friends out if she needs something from them ( a trait of in-game MC’s that i hate mostly because there never seems to be any actual conflict from this??? Or it’s just poorly done or too quickly resolved, like??? What?? ). Rowan calling her out on this really gives Eileen a wake up call to do better by her friends. And she does do better and they grow super close. Eileen loves listening to Rowan’s dreams and ambitions along with what her life is like back on her little tree farm. Eileen enjoys Chiara’s calming nature and because she doesn’t like going to see Madam Pomfrey when she gets injured during her search for the vaults, she often resorts to going to Chiara when she does get hurt and they end up growing close to one another. Both understanding that fear of getting too close to someone because of the chances of being betrayed and abandoned in the end. She adores Chiara for her kindness. Eileen felt a strong need to protect and care for Barnaby when she learned of how horrible his family was towards him. Barnaby not being the smartest and being a very slow learner does get on her nerves at time but she’s learned to be patient with him. She admires and worries about Barnaby constantly just, charging in to take the blow whenever a friend is in danger and this just fuels her to be stronger for them.

If were going outside of in-game then Will Scarborough gets included. After the events of 5th year, Eileen is a complete mess. Angry, hurt, frustrated and so very, very tired. She’s no longer able to keep her emotions in control and this just further agitates her. During 6th and 7th year, Will becomes her anchor and also manages to  help her keep herself in check as they hunt for the last cursed vault and for Rakepick. Will is one of the few people who can actually talk her out of something once she sets her mind to it. ( Will belongs to @cursebreakerfarrier )

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

Eileen is incredibly proud of her independence and resilience. She’s not the short of person that whines about her current situation, no, instead she does her best to work with what she’s got. Given the fact that she’s got hardly anyone on her side because of her reputation for being cursed, she very much prefers working alone most of the time. Her friends admire her independence from afar but Eileen is the kind of person that when she enters the room gives off the vibe of ‘I don’t think I’m better than you, I know I am.’ and it just, it makes her friends wonder if Eileen actually cares about them. It takes a very long time for Eileen to finally notice this and for her and her friends to actually talk about it. I think her friends, family and the people around her would think her resilience and wit are her most admirable features as well but also are aware of how it can also be her worst features in certain situations.

🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes?

She’s pretty fond of spicy and savory food. Her favorite meals being pasta. As for snacks, Eileen secretly has a sweet tooth and often visits honeydukes whenever she can. She loves cauldron cakes. Dessert, i think she would love chocolate mousse. And as for drinks, she loves earl grey and chamomile tea. I don’t think she would have that much reason behind why they’re her favorites besides how they taste.

📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?

Ask her about magical creatures and books and she will go on and on for hours. She absolutely loves creatures and is fond of muggle novels like Catcher in the Rye and Johnny got his gun. She’s pretty fond of dark and morbid books.For things they find fun Eileen enjoys drawing and is art buddies with Badeea and they both started teaching Barnaby how to paint. She enjoys spending the summer taking road trips with friends and also sings whenever she thinks she’s alone.

[awrldalone]

23rd July 2020, 10.45am

Yesterday I meant to write something, but it’s kinda hard to write at two a.m. once you get back from the beach. 

Yesterday morning I went to the post office - another one than the one I previously talked about, it was much less crowded. The employee was kind of rude to me, she basically scolded me because my package was not closed properly. She told me to go back home and close it well. 

Since I did not want to do that, I drove my bike up to this small stationary shop and I bought tape there. Sitting on the ground - I was in a secondary street where no one ever goes - I taped perhaps excessively my two packages.

Then I got back on my bike and I finally managed to ship those book. In the end, that same employee even smiled at me. Maybe she was having a bad day.

I hate to think about working for the state. Just the thought of being a part of the capitalist machine makes my skin crawl. But I guess everyone has to do something to get by. I just hope my future job won’t be some corporate bullshit.

Yesterday night, I went to a party - I know what you’re thinking, quite irresponsible of me because of coronavirus, but you have to understand that here in Italy we have reopened basically everything, and this party was literally fifteen people. 

We went to the beach, I only knew three people and the fourth one I knew who was supposed to come did not make it in time because she was coming back from Budapest. Yes, Budapest. I do not know how that happened or why she was in Budapest, to be honest. 

The other people were either complete strangers or people with whom I talked twice in my life. I was pretty anxious, at first, but then when we started drinking something things got better. This one girl, M., was kind of clingy, and two boys were kind of cute. 

I was also pretty worried because my stupid stupid self had not eaten. That might have not been my brightest moment, especially because I had to get back home and could not stay out all night, as my sister is back from the mountains, where she was with my grandma, and I have to take care of her. She’s nine, I would never leave her alone, and neither would our parents.

I ate popcorn. It was the only food we had, but it did the job. 

I tried Malibu. It was too sweet. Not my thing. I did a couple of shots, nothing too crazy. I hate how certain alcohol tastes at first. Then it gets better and it warms up your stomach.

At around midnight I left and took a bus, then I took a vaporetto and I finally got home. 

And then I stayed up until god knows when because I might like this boy. 

It’s months that I think I might like him, but I’m reluctant to admit it because we live far away. He’s Italian too, but distance is something I cannot deal with. 

But he’s nice and lovely and we have the same interests. He knows I like him and he told me he doesn’t. That kind of broke me, when he told me a couple of months ago, because he said I’d be his perfect boyfriend if he wasn’t asexual. I do not want to invalidate his sexuality but the fact that two days later he literally started talking about this crush of his really hurt me. Alas, now we’re just friends. Good friends, I guess. 

I really want to meet him. As soon as we can we probably will. We were supposed to finally meet up, but I could not make it. We had decided to trade books. I wanted to do that in person, but two of our mutual friends - who live much much closer to me and with whom i was supposed to go - did the job.

The fact that he now owns my copy of The Catcher in the Rye - my favourite book ever - makes my heart pound. I still don’t have the book he wanted to give me because I haven’t met up with the person he gave it to, but it still means a lot to me.

Today I’m home with my sister. She’s doing homework and I’m about to do some too. It’s ten years of One Direction so we’re listening to my favourite songs from them and I’m getting kind of emotional.

To be honest, I am not their biggest fan anymore - I love Harry’s solo projects, Niall and Louis’s are good too - but when I was in middle school I was completely obsessed. 

I cried when they broke up. Or, as some directioners like to think about it, when they went into hiatus. 

Here’s a small playlist of their songs that mean the most to me:

Olivia

Best Song Ever

Perfect

What Makes You Beautiful (obviously)

Fireproof

Little Black Dress

They Don’t Know About Us

Kiss You

Temporary Fix

Na Na Na

More Than This

-c. 

[livvyofthelake]

see it’s like, there was this guy I knew when I was in 9th grade and he was a junior, and we were like, friends? (I hesitate to use that word though because it was really more like we just had a mutual friend and we sat at the same lunch table for half the year) anyway he was a piece of shit and also just a generally annoying person (it sounds like I’m being mean, but y’all were not there and he sucked in a way I can’t really describe but think... idk if you hated the catcher in the rye as much as I did but if you did hate holden with all the passion your 15 year old self could muster, this guy was like that). and in the few months I knew this guy, I don’t think he said even one positive or nice thing? and especially not to me? and here’s where it gets wild. I had a crush on him. YEAH. because for some fucked up patriarchal reason, women are constantly made to believe that it is our job to save men... that it is our job to forgive them, and teach them to be better people. and it’s our job to love them for being damaged! we’re supposed to like “bad boys” so that we can rehabilitate them. we’re supposed to like older men so we can take care of them. we’re supposed to like younger men so we can teach them. we’re supposed to like men who hurt us because the childhood “he’s only teasing you because he has a crush on you” mentality follows us throughout our entire lives! what the fuck!

[liplicked]

[  lorenzo  zurzolo,  cis  male,  twenty  two  ]  it  looks  like  MATEO  FIORENTINO  is  late  to  class  once  again.  how  do  they  expect  to  get  their  degree  in  EARTH  SCIENCES  by  skipping  class  ?  it’s  a  wonder  that  they  made  it  to  their  SENIOR  year.  then  again,  i  heard  that  they  were  INDEPENDENT  which  may  give  them  a  pass  with  professors,  but  they  are  also  DIRECTIONLESS  so  maybe  not.  all  i  know  is  that  they  remind  me  of  ROLLING  A  JOINT  WITH  SHAKY  FINGERS,  TYPING  OUT  A  3  AM  TEXT  AND  THEN  DELETING  IT,  A  KNIT  SWEATER  WORN  THROUGH  AT  THE  ELBOWS,  so  watch  out.  oh  look,  HE  just  walked  in  !

sound  the  alarm,  the  charity  case  is  here

this  will  not  be  as  neatly  written  in  nice  paragraphs  as  maddy’s  intro  was,  cause  i’m  tired  and  also  he  just  ain’t  that  kinda  person  !  

unlike  most  of  his  classmates,  mateo  was  not  born  into  money

his  family  wasn’t  poor  but  they  were  working  class.  university  was  never  really  in  the  cards  for  mateo  or  his  two  younger  sisters

mateo  was  a  suuuuper  quiet  kid  and  hardly  talked  until  he  was  in  first  or  second  grade.  hardly  had  any  friends,  preferred  to  stay  inside  reading  a  book

and  then  his  parents  signed  him  up  for  a  little  league  baseball  team  in  an  effort  to  get  him  to  make  friends

he  still  wasn’t  the  most  social  kid,  but  baseball,  and  then  other  sports,  quickly  became  mateo’s  passion.  though  he  started  out  with  baseball,  lacrosse  was  what  he  truly  excelled  at

and  then  after  high  school  he  got  a  lacrosse  scholarship  to  whitton  —  full  ride  !

even  with  the  scholarship,  books  &  supplies  &  uniforms  were  a  lot  of  money,  and  his  parents  scrimped  and  saved  and  pinched  pennies  to  ship  him  off  to  school

i  wouldn’t  say  his  scholarship  status  is  a  secret  ?  but  not  a  lot  of  people  know.  most  people  assumes  he  comes  from  money  and  he  just  lets  them  think  it

he  picked  earth  sciences   to  major  in  cause  he  was  like,  meh,  why  not  ?  he  didn’t  have  anything  else  he  was  interested  in  anyway,  he  was  just  going  to  play  lacrosse

he  bonded  pretty  well  with  the  guys  on  the  team  but  again,  he’s  kinda  awkward  so  i  feel  like  he  wouldn’t  have  made  many  connections  outside  of  the  team  (  that  being  said  PLEASE  bring  me  his  lacrosse  bros  )

but  then  at  the  end  of  last  year,  he  took  a  reallyyy  nasty  hit  in  a  game  and  got  a  bad  concussion  and  basically  shattered  his  left  leg  :///  it  took  a  crazy  long  time  to  heal  and  the  doctor  said  he  wouldn’t  be  able  to  play  varsity  sports  again

he  still  walks  with  a  bit  of  a  limp  &  can’t  be  walking  for  too  long

the  school  still  kept  his  scholarship  b/c  he  got  hurt  during  a  game  (  idk  if  this  is  how  sports  scholarships  work  but  let’s  just  say  it  is  )

and  now  he’s  having  a  bit  of  an  existential  crisis  lmao  cause  lacrosse  was  his  one  passion  !  he’ll  be  graduating  with  a  degree  in  earth  sciences  but  that’s  really  not  what  he  wants  to  do  in  life

he  gets  high  a  lot,  not  a  worrisome  amount  but  he’s  def  a  lowkey  stoner  lmao

pretty  quiet  and  awkward,  not  very  confrontational  at  all  but  also  doesn’t  have  much  patience

kinda  cynical  &  pessimistic

has  high  standards  for  honesty  so  hates  when  people  try  and  act  cool  or  pretend  they’re  someone  they’re  not.  yes,  he’s  a  bit  pretentious.  holden  caulfield,  is  that  you  ?

he  also  has  no  patience  for  people  who  are  less  than  kind.  rude  to  service  employees  ?  making  fun  of  something  that  someone  else  likes  ?  mateo  doesn’t  fuck  w  that

that  being  said  he  also  isn’t  the  best  at  communicating  lol.  if  someone  is  bugging  him  cause  of  that  stuff  he’ll  just  kinda  drop  them  or  avoid  them  or  be  snappish  without  actually  telling  them  what  the  issue  is

(  spoiler  alert:  it’s  cause  he  doesn’t  like  confrontation  )

he  also  doesn’t  have  much  of  an  impulse  control,  mostly  cause  if  he  wants  to  do  something  he  doesn’t  really  talk  to  anybody,  he  just  goes  ahead  and  does  it

basically  the  opposite  of  maddy  –  very  independent  and  doesn’t  like  relying  on  anyone  or  being  boxed  in.  he’s  an  introvert,  he  likes  to  have  time  to  himself

started  learning  guitar  recently

char  inspo:  james  (  the  end  of  the  fucking  world  ),  adam  parrish  (  the  raven  cycle  ),  holden  caulfield  (  the  catcher  in  the  rye  ),  joe  from  you  if  he  wasn’t  a  fucking  psychopath  lmao

i’m  too  lazy  to  write  out  wanted  connections  but  just  assume  i  want  them  all

[creatingnikki]

Dearest Atlas,

That is a really fun choice for a pseudonym. Perhaps, your actual name? Unlikely but for the sake of this letter and me you’re Atlas irrespective. So, hello! You’re almost a decade younger to me and I must admit, I’m a little nervous to write you this love letter. I’ve never had an issue writing or interacting with people older to me by 3-4 decades even. But talking to someone younger always takes me back to when I was their age and how much I hated older people acting as though they knew better.

Of course, now after growing up I have realized that it’s just natural for you to know more and learn more as you live more (exceptions exist always and there’s not an equal increase in age and knowledge/wisdom, as we all know). I mean, compared to a 5 year old, you know so much more. But I think the one place where most adults go wrong is that instead of looking after those younger to them, they either patronize them or exploit them. Shouldn’t we, by default look after those younger to us? Protect them, so that they don’t lose their innocence and heart due to this shit world as early as we did? This sentiment is why I love a classic that most people don’t – The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. I will warn you that the narrator is annoying but his heart is in the right place and that’s the most important thing.

I guess since I’ve already started writing this letter my nervousness is out the window. Do forgive me if at any place I come across as preachy or pretentious. Know that isn’t one bit intentional.

You know how I know I’m no longer a teenager? Because I just spent 10 minutes looking up what LB(BT) means. I still don’t know but as per Google this is what it could mean:

Let’s be bored together (doesn’t fit the context as you said ‘I’m LB(BT)’)

Something related to LGBTQ+ (Is it?)

Lembaga Bela Banua Talino (Which is an Institute for Community Legal Resources Empowerment – umm probably not?)

When older people would be so clueless with slangs like LOL and TTYL and BRB 10 years ago I would think, ‘Are they serious? What’s not to get in that?’ But this is a WTF moment for me because I have crossed over to the other side, clearly. Anyway, now I’m quite curious so do let me know, please! Haha

Though, I do have a really embarrassing and silly story related to internet slang and ‘brb’. So this was back in 8th grade – 2010 – when I had just joined Facebook and had started to talk to this senior in school who I soon developed a crush on. Now, you need to know 2 things for context:

Back then everyone in school would type in “chat language” which was very “cool”. For instance, ‘What is up with you?’ would be typed as ‘wht is up wth u?’

This guy would use terms of endearment for me like sweetheart, darling, etc. *pukes*

So, for a whole week when we would chat, and he would use ‘brb’ during our conversation I had no idea what it was but I just assumed it was another term of endearment. Oh my god. Shall I even say it? Okay…so I thought it was….barbie. YES WHY WOULD HE CALL ME THAT. It’s bloody weird but my 14 year old brain worked in weird ways, and yes you’re a whole lot smarter than I was at 14, and I just assumed that. Why I continued talking to a guy who I thought called me ‘barbie’, I do not know. From entering the world of social media at 14 and not knowing slangs like the back of my hand to reaching here – writing a letter to a 14 year old and not knowing another slang’s full form – a I believe I have reached a full circle. Thank you? I think it’s very humbling but also grounding to realise how old you are or just how much time has passed by. Adulting is quite disorienting and moments like these are needed.

And thankfully, I know what you mean when you say you’re Wiccan. And I think that’s pretty cool! Around when I was 16 I read a Jodi Piccoult book about teen Wiccans and I was so fascinated that post that I did 3 things:

Convinced my friend to become Wiccan with me

Installed an app for spells

Convinced my mom to let me get a tattoo with a sentence from the Wiccan Rede

My friend ditched me, the spells on that app needed things that weren’t accessible to me and I was too much of a chicken to actually get inked (still don’t have a single tattoo!) and none of those things ever really materialised.  In yet another way you’re so much smarter than I was back then. I keep saying this not to be weird but to admire you and just express how in awe I am by certain things you mentioned.

Shall I just paste the Wiccan Rede here for everyone to see how beautiful and solid it is? Or perhaps the end of it that hit me the most?

“With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.

Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.

When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.

Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.

These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

“An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will”

And the sentence I wanted to get a tattoo of? Any guesses?

Well – An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will.

While I didn’t get it, I do want to talk about it.

People will always tell you what to do and what to be and what to think and how to behave and what to not wear and what to see and what to not talk about. These people will be your friends, parents, teachers, siblings, relatives, strangers, lovers, the government, employers, enemies and bullies. A lot of them will be well-intentioned and that’s where it will get tricky. But you should always do what feels right to you. No matter who says what. Stand up for what you believe in no matter who or how many people are against it. That’s from the book To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee and another book that I highly recommend.

As you grow older, the lines between good and bad, black and white, brave and weak will quickly and confusingly blur. You’ll have to make a million choices, a lot of which won’t matter in a few years while some will stay with you for the rest of your life. And sometimes it will feel like you’re in a maze and thick fog (all the confusion between what’s right and what’s wrong) is surrounding you and there is this loud, piercing noise (other people’s voices) that won’t stop until you find your way out that maze. What’s waiting for you outside? Some people think it’s success, money, love, or even death. It really depends on how you see things and what’s the most important to you.

To me? I think what’s waiting out there for me is peace and truth. Lately, I’ve been able to find my way out but it’s only seconds until I’m dragged back inside. So, how to figure a permanent way out this maze is my journey next. I don’t know anything. No one knows anything. But yet people insist on pretending to know. And sometimes that’s important too (like at work). But I hope when you’re on your journey of figuring things out for yourself, you do what feels right to you and only remember – An ye harm none do what ye will.

A picnic with your friend family where everything was so happy sounds like such a precious and beautiful memory. I’m glad you got to experience that and I can only hope that while you navigate your way through the maze, you find such absolutely lovely and blissful moments in plenty. And as for your ex who sent you anon hate – so glad that such an ass is out of your life. As someone who has received a lot of nasty anon hate on tumblr, I know it hurts the most when you suspect (more like just know it) that it’s someone who used to be close to you. I guess that’s the other stuff hiding in the maze – bitterness and pain. But I think as long as you have a few people who have the best interests for you at heart who hold your hand and figure the way out together, you’re going to be okay.

So, Atlas, I do think this turned out to be a tad bit didactic but know that’s only because the part inside of me that’s still 14 is cheering on for you and sending you much love.

xoxo

Nikki

PS I know I’ve given you 2 book recs already but here’s a third one cos I think you’d quite like it – Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson. It’s a book about two high school best friends who are Wiccans and one of them kills herself and the other uses a spell to bring her back to live temporarily to figure out what really happened.

Guys, February is 29 days of love letters. I’m writing love letters, as part of The Love Project, and if you’d like me to write one to you, drop me an email at creating.nikki@gmail.com

There are 10 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D

I wrote this letter for Atlas based on some questions they answered. You can read their answers here.

[myersbprd]

STUDY    :   JOHN THADDEUS MYERS   TAGGED BY    :   @slvrlnce​ (thank you!!)

—    BASICS.

▸     IS    YOUR    MUSE    TALL    /    SHORT    /    AVERAGE ? john is 5′10″ or 1.78m, so he’s about average height or an inch over (the average height for men, in the us at least, is considered to be 5′9″).

▸      ARE    THEY    OKAY    WITH    THEIR    HEIGHT ? he’s never taken issue with it, as it’s considered common. he didn’t think of it almost at all until joining the bprd, because then he did feel weirdly short at times standing next to abe or hellboy, and that was a foreign feeling to him. john’s rather used to it now.

▸      WHAT’S    THEIR    HAIR    LIKE ? dark brown and thick. it’s also very soft. usually, he prefers to keep it cut on the shorter side (he hates when it starts getting a little longer and the tips of his bangs brush his eyelashes). 

▸     DO    THEY    SPEND    A    LOT    OF    TIME    ON    THEIR    HAIR     /    GROOMING ?  perhaps not inordinately, but yes. he takes general note of shampoo and conditioner types to avoid (such as ones containing silicone or sulfate), as well as how often to actually use them on his hair. john pats his hair dry with a towel as opposed to rubbing it to avoid breakage, and he has a comb instead of a hair brush. while he dislikes using a blow dryer/heat, he’s usually forced to resort to it in the morning before work. styling his hair is also important to him because he prefers to part it in specific way (he uses a very small amount of gel to accomplish this, especially on days when his hair simply refuses to cooperate). he doesn’t like facial hair on himself, so he always shaves.

▸      DOES   YOUR   MUSE   CARE   ABOUT   THEIR   APPEARANCE   /   WHAT    OTHERS    THINK ? yes, to a degree. as far as aspects he can control, john likes to look neat and inherently respectable. he wants to be taken seriously. in a work setting, this is doubly the case. for his overall physical features, he’s confident/comfortable with them. particularly with his hair, john can be a little bit vain; not necessarily in the sense that he believes himself to be ridiculously attractive, but being told by someone whose opinion matters to him that he looks nice makes him very happy, and being told the opposite by them will make him want to wear a paper bag over his head for the rest of the day before he gets over it.

—    PREFERENCES.

▸     INDOORS    OR    OUTDOORS ?    outdoors. ▸     RAIN    OR    SUNSHINE ?    sunshine. ▸     FOREST    OR    BEACH ?    forest. ▸     PRECIOUS    METALS    OR    GEMS ?  precious  metals. ▸     FLOWERS    OR    PERFUMES ?    perfumes. ▸     PERSONALITY    OR    APPEARANCE ?    personality. ▸ BEING    ALONE    OR    BEING    IN    A    CROWD ?     being  alone (but it depends who the crowd is). ▸ ORDER    OR    ANARCHY ?    order. ▸     PAINFUL    TRUTHS    OR    WHITE    LIES ?   painful  truths. ▸ SCIENCE    OR    MAGIC ?     science (only because he can’t make use of the latter). ▸ PEACE    OR    CONFLICT ?    peace. ▸     NIGHT    OR    DAY ?    day. ▸     DUSK    OR    DAWN ?    dawn. ▸ WARMTH    OR    COLD ?    cold. ▸     MANY   ACQUAINTANCES    OR    A    FEW    CLOSE    FRIENDS ?   a few close friends. ▸     READING    OR    PLAYING    A    GAME ?   reading.

—    QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    OF    YOUR    MUSE’S    BAD    HABITS ? he has a tendency to be overly critical. in himself, this constitutes rarely acknowledging his own accomplishments and focusing on whatever he might have done better or can improve on. sometimes, this leads to john pushing himself too hard or feeling frustrated about things that seem minor to some and ignoring the bigger picture. in others, mainly those he works with or is close to, he expects them to share a similar drive or work ethic to him, and can make judgments if he believes they are lacking in that regard, even if he doesn’t have all of the information. if it bothers him enough, he might confront the person about it, which can make him seem meddling at best or a self-righteous ass at worst. john also asks for or accepts personal help very rarely. if it’s a situation in which failing to do so could be detrimental to someone else, he’ll always request/receive aid for their benefit. if he’s the only person being affected, especially if it’s something involving emotional support or the like, then he won’t do so voluntarily. during every difficult time in his life when he really needed someone, especially in his formative years, john had to deal with it alone, even if there was a person around that he thought he could rely on. depending only on himself is a pattern he felt he crafted out of necessity, but it’s also made it extremely difficult now for him to be vulnerable in that way with anyone because it’s practically an instinct not to be.

▸      HAS    YOUR    MUSE    LOST    ANYONE    CLOSE    TO    THEM ?      HOW    HAS    IT    AFFECTED    THEM ? yes. he lost his parents at the age of six; to what, no one really knows. they left to go on a drive one afternoon and never came back. not a single trace of them has been discovered, which makes it unlikely now that one ever will. john was sent to live with his uncle, and his four siblings were taken in by various other relatives. he almost never saw them growing up to the point that they’re akin to strangers, and uncle thad was the only family he found himself with. when thad was diagnosed with cancer when john was eighteen and just graduating high school, he felt like everything was falling apart. he took care of his uncle until the very end. watching the person he loved more than anyone else, who had always seemed so strong and unshakable to him, deteriorating until there was nothing left absolutely crushed him. since then, john hasn’t had many people as true constants in his life; he’s had friends and dated and tried to at least stay in contact with his brothers and sisters, but between moving around and being so immersed in work, they don’t always remain close long-term. the idea that he has no familial ties, blood or otherwise, and that he might not be that important to anyone and maybe no one would really care past a day if anything happened to him terrifies him a little. he just tries not to think about it. he has shit to do.

▸      WHAT    ARE    SOME    FOND    MEMORIES    YOUR    MUSE    HAS ? although john doesn’t remember his life before moving in with thad very clearly, he has vague yet warm memories of sitting by the pond behind his house with his mom in the summer, his dad making milkshakes at the diner the family owned, catching fireflies with his brothers, building forts with his sister, rebekah. more easy to recall are memories of he and thad listening to the radio at night in the living room, tinkering with gadgets and wrenches in the shed, reading his very first comic book, getting his old moped and fixing it up with his uncle, seeing his first lunar eclipse, uncle thad buying him a copy of the catcher in the rye because the school wouldn’t carry it in the library, graduating from college, going camping by himself one weekend and watching the smoke from his campfire curl into the sky, staying out late with friends after work.

▸     IS    IT    EASY    FOR    YOUR    MUSE    TO    KILL ? yes and no. if faced with the realization that failing to kill someone means harm or death will come to innocent people, friends, co-workers, or especially hellboy, he won’t hesitate to do it. john has killed before, both directly and indirectly, and he finds no pleasure in it. however, it’s easy for him in that split second to do what he feels he needs to. afterwards, he can on occasion be emotionally distraught over it, even though he won’t regret what he did and he’d do it again.

▸      WHAT’S    IT    LIKE    WHEN    YOUR    MUSE    BREAKS    DOWN ? almost always private. john’s used to assuming the role of the “emotionally stable one” in most situations, and he harbors this inward notion that if someone who relies on him saw him have any sort of extreme reaction that wasn’t positive, they wouldn’t look at him the same way. thus, if he breaks down, he does it alone: it’s like his lungs are collapsing and he can’t breathe, his body has tremors from feeling his emotions too strongly, he presses the heels of his hands over his eyes so hard it hurts, and he sits with his back against something like a wall for some semblance of grounding.

▸      IS    YOUR    MUSE    CAPABLE    OF    TRUSTING    SOMEONE    WITH    THEIR    LIFE ? again...yes and no, in that he’s capable of it, but it’s not common occurrence. in a work situation, he trusts those he’s around to have his back as he has theirs, because it’s beneficial to both of them. as far as any other time, the list of people john would trust in that regard is very short. he doesn’t believe himself to be a cynic, but that sort of trust is earned.

▸      WHAT’S    YOUR    MUSE    LIKE    WHEN    THEY’RE    IN    LOVE ? all in — for the other person’s happiness, learning everything about them, ensuring they know that he’s sincere and that they’re it. john doesn’t usually hold back on kind comments in general if he believes they’re deserved, but he’s exceptionally generous in that regard with the one he’s in love with. he’s also very physically affectionate; words and touch are what he thrives on giving. when he’s in love, he would do almost anything to see the other person happy. he’d fight the damn universe for them.

TAGGING:  @thelonelyherothing​ @snowregent​ @angclbcrn​ @whcwashe​ @naturalheal​ + whoever wants to steal it

[captzexx]

Getting to know...Me?

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better.

1. Dogs or Cats?

Dogs, though I as I am not much of a pet person cats might be more my speed as they just kind of do their own thing.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

Depends on what they’re presenting.  I hate a lot of those gaming streams on Twitch and those guys who make millions just playing CoD and being bleh.  But I love CR, Retro Replay, The McElroys, and Puffin.  So it all depends on what I’m watching and liking.  

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

Europe, anywhere there.  Also I think I’d be happy in one of the Pacific Northwest or Atlantic New England area.

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

Disney.  Parks, toys, movies, tv shows, I was a Disney kid, my kids are Disney kids, we bleed for Emperor Mickey.

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

I had a lot as a kid, mostly superhero stuff.  Batman:TAS, Gargoyles, Xmen, Spiderman, old Tex Avery cartoons, Looney Tunes.  To be perfectly honest I don’t think I’ve stopped enjoying kids programming as I’ve grown up.

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

Black Widow?  I don’t get to go to the movies as much as I used too.  I haven’t even gotten to see Joker yet and that was my last big ‘I gotta see’.  Rise of Skywalker as well, but kids be damned I will not miss that.

7. Favourite book you read in 2019?

I didn’t read much this year or the last few years, luckily my wife got into Audible so in turn...I got into Audible.  I listened to the ‘The Testaments’ and was enthralled beyond belief with that story and highly recommend it.

8. Marvel or DC?

DC mostly, I like tights and capes.

9. If you choose Marvel favourite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

Batman, though I do have a soft spot for Aquaman and Flash.  And Ollie.  And Wonder Woman.  And this is hard to pick one. 

10. Night or Day?

As I was younger I was a full on night owl, up til the wee hours of the morning and sleeping through the day like a vampire.  Now I’m older with four little persons looking to me for being a live so I’ve had to adjust to being Ben Franklin.  Early to bed, early to rise.

11. Favourite Pokemon?

I’m not big into Pokemon, so I only know the oldest of the old ones.  So, Squirtle?  

12. Top 5 bands:

Carpenter Brut.  Hurt.  NIN.  Beck.  Waylon Jennings.  Another hard one as my musical tastes change like...every day.

13. Top 10 books.

Yikes.  I’ll do series cause...I can.  

Gotrek and Felix.  Elric of Melnibone.  Guardians of the Flame.  The Dark Tower.  Scions of Shannara.  Redwall.  SW: Jedi Academy.  Catcher in the Rye.  Dresden Files.  Dragonlance.  

14. Top 4 movies

Robin Hood (Disney).  Empire Strikes Back.  Last Crusade.  Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.  

There are many more but those are the top ‘Four’ I could pull.

15. America or Europe?

I want to be Europe but I haven't gone.  Yet.

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

Tumblr.  Twitter is a cesspool of evil.

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Pro-Choice.

18. Favourite YouTuber?

Critical Role.

19. Favourite author ?

Stephen King.

20. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee.  Bitter and dark...like my soul.

Not really, I enjoy both truly just depends on which is easier to get a hold of.  

21. OTP ?

OTP?  *Googles* Oh.  Uh.  Susan?  Take that for what it is.  

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

When I was younger I played trumpet and enjoyed it.  Then I went full dick teenager and lost interest in...everything.

So I wish I could go back and pick it up again but who knows.  I’ll let my kids play piano, violin, and flute while I sit back and wince as they learn.

Tagged by: @dardillien-ward

Tagging: Anyone?  Everyone I know has been basically already been tagged so if you haven't.. REVEAL YOURSELF!

[bidrums]

Catcher in the Rye is a book that I think is good and definitely has a time and place to be read (namely 17 years old if nothing else to be the same age as Holden) but honestly the hero worship of Holden and amount of people who think he’s a role model is incredibly disturbing. On one hand, even my English teacher who loves the book and loves Holden told us that under no circumstances should we think that Holden is a good person or someone who has life figured out because he’s messed up and has no life experience and acts selfishly and recklessly and we should try to understand his actions rather than condone them; on the other hand, the same English teacher waxed poetic about the book and when people said that they didn’t like the book or like Holden in class- after she told us that it was okay, mind you- dismissed them and tried to get them to understand where Salinger was coming from of where Holden was coming from to the point that all of us were sick of it and many people in the class ended up afraid to bring up completely valid criticisms of the book and of Holden and ended up hating everything to do with it even if they enjoyed certain portions of it. That made me really sad, especially since the teacher actually did some pretty great stuff and I learned things and most likely got such a good score on the AP test because of her but the Catcher in the Rye unit hurt me just because I could see how much her love of the book turned so many people off to the book.

That being said, you need to be at a certain age and in a certain mindset to read the book because honestly I talked to another teacher who said that she was too old to read the book when she read it so didn’t understand his inner monologue and context really is important for the book. It’s very similar to Pink Floyd’s album and movie ‘The Wall’ in that you can get a good idea of what the main character’s deal is out of context but if you understand what’s going on around the writer and the main character and what kinds of people inspire the characters then you understand it a lot more. (Also because both of those deal with emotional repression and the fact that the ways we poorly handle our personal damage lead to us hurting people and acting like trash and doing garbage things and in the end we’re the only people that can break our own barriers down and get help and improve ourselves but that’s a rant for another post)

[traitor-boyfriend]

louise i find it very odd that you would give us this the catcher in the rye au and NOT who tell us who stan is!

it’s b/c it made me sad! at first i thought of him as james castle but that was far too depressing and while james was a really significant person to holden i felt it was a waste of the relationship between stan and kyle as well as stan’s depth as an individual. b/c if i’m sticking strictly to the book stan would be jane. if you’ve never read it she’s one of the very few people holden genuinely respects and views as his equal and enjoys being around but he never actually sees or talks to her physically in the book and the opportunities he wastes to do so haunt him somewhat. he simultaneously tells a lot and very little about her – she was his neighbor at their summer home and met b/c jane’s dog would often come and shit on the caulfield’s lawn which in and of itself is so funny and has a very stankyle humor to it. they have a lot in common in terms of interest w books and movies and she’s very athletic and has a troubling home life. she also never moves her kings from the back row when they play chess and he’s obsessed w this detail about her. if i go into analyzing jane this is gonna be a million miles longs but in context of the book her relationship w holden and holden’s feelings about her are very reminiscent of stan and kyle. he’s also very obviously in love w her

if we’re just taking kyle and transporting him into a catcher in the rye scenario then stan would be some boozy kid kyle meets in the hotel bar after getting shot down by girls he attempts to talk to. they talk about books and cinema and bond over hating the same things and being disillusioned by authority and adulthood. then they kiss until their mouths hurt when stan realizes he has to leave, in his haste leaving behind a pair of mittens that kyle holds onto

[alettertoserenity]

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall...

Projection is a bitch. Sulking in the negatives of life is so much easier than fighting them. It’s a lesson I am learning now in life. Making life easier by sulking. Sinking. I’d rather stay in my room and cry all night than go out and try to make myself feel better. I’d rather create 3478385629437 excuses than to SUCK IT UP n GET SHIT DONE. Yikes--Did I really just admit that? It takes judging and criticizing others to realize you are the problem... “Oh my gosh I fucked up that conversation.. They must hate me now”.. Why do I think that? Because I would if I was them right? You may think you know it all but you really don’t.. and that is okay. It takes really looking at others and realizing a pattern. When everyone in the world is pissing you off and against you.. could it be that maybe the one against you is you? I think of Catcher in the Rye... life is fucking IRONIC n RHETORICAL innit?? When you start seeing yourself in the same people that stress you out, piss you off, set off a trigger..what do you do? Hate yourself? End it all? WRONG. Easy way out... again. I realize that my life is not shit because I am first generation. My life is not shit because I have anxiety. My life is not shit because of my trauma. My life is NOT shit. I am the one who is putting those lens over my eyes. It’s HARD to not do the things I am used to doing. It’s comfortable right? To do the things in the way you have always done them.. and even the way your family has done them. That is the thing with intergenerational trauma. You are going to have to get uncomfortable. Push your boundaries. Look in the mirror.. what do you see? Don’t like it? What are you going to do? See I think the options we have then are only up to us. You can seek comfort in people but here is what you will find. Coddling, enabling, criticism, support, anger, etc. Someone please care for me.. love me... be there for me in the way I would be there for them if they were me... but I feel like it will never be enough. IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF HOW CAN ANYONE ELSE? read that again and again and again until it sticks. That damn quote can be found in 20 different fonts on Pinterest. FOR A REASON. It is not about the other person. It is about you. I feel like you will eventually find that the way others love and support you will never be enough until you understand and start showing up for yourself. I have had people in my life that don’t know how to express love and support in the same calm and nurturing manner as me. Does that mean they are against me? They must hate me if they are yelling at me in that way... I should yell back. How dare they when I am the one who is hurting right now? They don’t get me and just make it worse.. Yea hunny they probably are because if you don’t see the bigger picture then they most likely are triggering you. They are HUMAN. Humans will express themselves in a variety of ways. If said person’s tone is triggering, then the entire message goes out the window. I started to notice getting pissed off and triggered by people who don’t have a soft approach.. Why? Why would I want someone to tell me to stay in and cry?? Because it feels nice? No.. I NEED those people that trigger me. The Universe has sent me so many signs. DISCIPLINE. The Universe is not soft. The Universe is tough. She has to be.. The obstacles life throws at you are endless, you NEED to be tough in your own way. I believe I can be soft, sensitive, nurturing while also being tough, fearless, and fierce. LEARN from those people that tick you off. Observe and you will find similarities. When you do, decide if you want to continue looking in the mirror or create a window for others to look through and see HOPE. People cannot change their past, but they can change from this point and on. Reflect and learn. 

[kaitieedoll]

150 Questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My mom

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? I don’t know.

4. Are you easy to get along with? Not really.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are the perfect package - kind, sweet, smart and funny.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? My boyfriend.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Fuck no.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Again, my boyfriend.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? That is private.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Cry Baby by The Neighbourhood

Dead Girl Walking from Heathers the Musical

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

Electricity by Ashley Jana

Danny Don’t You Know by Ninja Sex Party

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes but only certain people.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yeah

15. What good thing happened this summer? Idk

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hopefully I’ll kiss him for the rest of my life.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No

19. Do you like bubble baths? Yessss

20. Do you like your neighbors? One house

21. What are your bad habits? I bite my nails, pick my skin, crack my knuckles, don’t eat, binge, steal etc.

22. Where would you like to travel? New York City

23. Do you have trust issues? Yes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My belly or thighs, probably thighs.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter even though I’m pretty pale. I just love that aesthetic.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? I don’t know

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? I don’t have any exes.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Technically

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Winona Ryder, Chris Hemsworth, all the Guardians of the Galaxy, either Fanning sister, Ryan Reynolds, Jenna Marbles and her boyfriend Julien, ¾ of the Try Guys, every member past and present of Game Grumps and Tom Holland

33. Spell your name with your chin. I*qa75 (That’s supposed to be Kait)

34. Do you play sports? What sports? No but I want to dance

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? No, I’m pretty straightforward about crushes.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? My boyfriend

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I love Target, Walmart and other stores like that.

40. What do you want to do after high school? Become a parent and a writer

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? I don’t know man

43. Do you smile at strangers? Sometimes!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Neither

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? I have no clue

46. What are you paranoid about? Everything.

47. Have you ever been high? Nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Tipsy but not drunk.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Nah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My hair length or weight

53. Favourite makeup brand? None I hate makeup.

54. Favourite store? Target

55. Favourite blog? I really loved imperfect-nights but that was my blog

56. Favourite colour? Red

57. Favourite food? Hot cheeto puffs

58. Last thing you ate? A greek salad

59. First thing you ate this morning? Dinner

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I won a reading contest once!

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope

62. Been arrested? For what? Nope

63. Ever been in love? Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was my first time seeing my boyfriend in years and it was super cute and awkward

65. Are you hungry right now? No

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I have no tumblr friends

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? No

70. Names of your bestfriends? Melissa

71. Craving something? What? HOT CHEETO PUFFS

72. What colour are your towels? Purple at my dad’s but orange at my mom’s

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have a lot but I don’t sleep with my head on them

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? A lot

75. Favourite animal? Polar bears or cats

76. What colour is your underwear? Pink

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? It really depends on the mood I’m in!

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookies and Creme, Mint Chip, Cookie Dough, Chocolate Panda Paws and Chocolate Peanut Stampede are my favorites.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Grey

80. What colour pants? Black! They’re literally the comfiest leggings on planet earth! They’re from Charlotte Russe.

81. Favourite tv show? Dance Moms

82. Favourite movie? Heathers

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Janis

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Pearl

87. First person you talked to today? Melissa, my best friend

88. Last person you talked to today? Ethan, my boyfriend

89. Name a person you hate? I don’t know, I dislike a lot of people but I don’t like saying names of people I hate

90. Name a person you love? Isabella, my sweet little niece.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? No

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? A lot but I wish I had more

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? A lot as well but also wish I had more.

95. Last movie you watched? Love, Simon

96. Favourite actress? Winona Ryder

97. Favourite actor? Chris Pratt

98. Do you tan a lot? Never

99. Have any pets? Yes! My family has a cat named Hunter but I have a winter white dwarf hamster called Oreo Salinger

100. How are you feeling? I don’t know how I’m feeling

101. Do you type fast? Yes, very fast. I am a writer after all.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? No, mistakes make us who we are. The one thing I genuinely want to change is one time I told my niece, who was six months old and sick, I hated her because she sneezed in my face.

103. Can you spell well? Yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? My grandmothers, who have both passed

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? No

107. Have you ever been on a horse? I think?

108. What should you be doing? I don’t know

109. Is something irritating you right now? Nope

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes

111. Do you have trust issues? Yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom

113. What was your childhood nickname? Kaitie

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes! I’ve been to Pennsylvania twice now!

115. Do you play the Wii? Yeah

116. Are you listening to music right now? I wish, but I don’t know what to listen to so no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes but only shrimp egg rolls

119. Favourite book? The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not unless I’m walking up a flight of stairs

121. Are you mean? Not really

122. Is cheating ever okay? No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I can’t keep anything clean

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? Eh

127. What makes you happy? I don’t know

128. Would you change your name? No

129. What your zodiac sign? Gemini

130. Do you like subway? Yes

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’m already with him

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My boyfriend

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Danny don’t you know that everyone feels weird on the inside?

134. Can you count to one million? Probably but I never would

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t know

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed

137. How tall are you? 5’1 or 5’2

138. Curly or Straight hair? My hair is wavy

139. Brunette or Blonde? I’m blonde, naturally

140. Summer or Winter? Winter

141. Night or Day? Night

142. Favourite month? October, December and June

143. Are you a vegetarian? No

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee? Both

146. Was today a good day? It’s been okay so far

147. Mars or Snickers? I’ve never had a Mars Bar but I hate Snickers so

148. What’s your favourite quote? Sometimes you have to look inside yourself and ask “What am I willing to put up with today?’ - Arin Hanson

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Were they blind or something? - Girl Interrupted