#y’all can ignore me I’m just mad about shit that happened five years ago 🙄

[livvyofthelake]

see it’s like, there was this guy I knew when I was in 9th grade and he was a junior, and we were like, friends? (I hesitate to use that word though because it was really more like we just had a mutual friend and we sat at the same lunch table for half the year) anyway he was a piece of shit and also just a generally annoying person (it sounds like I’m being mean, but y’all were not there and he sucked in a way I can’t really describe but think... idk if you hated the catcher in the rye as much as I did but if you did hate holden with all the passion your 15 year old self could muster, this guy was like that). and in the few months I knew this guy, I don’t think he said even one positive or nice thing? and especially not to me? and here’s where it gets wild. I had a crush on him. YEAH. because for some fucked up patriarchal reason, women are constantly made to believe that it is our job to save men... that it is our job to forgive them, and teach them to be better people. and it’s our job to love them for being damaged! we’re supposed to like “bad boys” so that we can rehabilitate them. we’re supposed to like older men so we can take care of them. we’re supposed to like younger men so we can teach them. we’re supposed to like men who hurt us because the childhood “he’s only teasing you because he has a crush on you” mentality follows us throughout our entire lives! what the fuck!