#also /nbh
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i really hate fandoms like they suck all of my joy out of the things i like i really need to start blocking people more than i already do
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let's make trouble in the dream world, we'll hijack heaven with another memory now; i make the most of the turning tide, it just split what's left of the burning silence
#tw scopophobia#tw trypophobia#tw paranoia#he kinda looks like doug rattman here#this post was brought to you by some (supposedly nice) photos of me i know exist but i dont want to see.#because i do not believe in my image.#i'd love to make the straight forward complaint of “i am tired of feeling [x]” but it's not that simple when it's all you know#yeah yeah yeah hell on earth true but i know what will become of me if i give into expectation#this is why i break it down to science and observation. sometimes i find solace in the inevitable isolation (sometimes i dont)#“it's not endearing” it sure isn't. but i have a lot more to navigate than making it palatable for you.#and arent i doing what you ask? i dont understand if you have your qualms with this.#do you read this abysmally? dont you see the hope behind it? acknowledging the dark means noting the light too.#“forever” yes but also “always.”#/vaguepost /neu /nbh#anyways making this made me feel better. so feel comfort in the horror. hurrah. off to work.#soul eater#soul eater fanart#my art#franken stein#stein#soul eater stein
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it's so funny seeing the negative fan reactions to Jax being even more of an asshole than he was in episode 1. like first of all, how can you not enjoy his dickhead antics and growing frustrations at the things that aren't allowing him to be a dickhead 100% of the time. i think it's really entertaining to watch him be a complete jackass to everything and everyone! and second of all, i feel like this is an effect of twitter fandom kiddies always praising a character who's a perfect angel or a "bad boy but he's bad in a good way..." character and deeming characters "immoral" as soon as they do something bad. as soon as that character they attached themselves to isn't what they thought they were, they get super mad about it, even though Jax hasn't really changed at all since episode 1. it's like seeing Jax have more opportunities to be an utterly selfish and destructive asshole put them off from the character entirely because "ohh he's mean now". it's so weird. like god forbid a character has flaws or does objectively horrible things that makes them more entertaining /sarc.
it's kinda like the whole discourse surrounding Pomni "abandoning" Ragatha in the pilot. a lot of people were deeming Pomni to be a terrible character because she did something that could be perceived as "morally incorrect" when 1. she was scared and confused out of her mind and practically in survival mode the entire time she was there, 2. she literally just met Ragatha a while ago and wasn't in the right place to properly prioritise anything but her own survival, and 3. characters are allowed to do """immoral""" things because it's interesting, it makes them more complex and it drives the plot. oh yeah, and they're not real!!! they can't hurt anyone!!! it's so confusing how people will see a character with flaws and then get so enraged about how immoral they are, while completely missing the point as to why a character has flaws in the first place.
i just find it funny how people saw Jax in the first episode, visualised a bad boy version of him in their heads and then got super mad when he was even meaner deliberately in the second one and isn't exactly what they wanted him to be. like you guys just pulled a full 180 and went from loving him to despising him in and instant. characters will have something deserving of a character arc and twitter fandom kiddies will become livid about it.
by the way, i thought Jax being even more of an asshole shined a brighter light on his troubled nature. like,,, to me it seems Jax's asshole-ish attitude is kind of a mask for deeper insecurities, especially when you see his face soften during Kaufmo's funeral, before quickly replacing it with anger and walking away. i think he's grappling with some heavy shit and trying to hide it behind a troublemaker attitude and constantly causing chaos and destruction to distract himself. i think that's why he got so angry and frustrated during the second episode, because he couldn't always have his way. he's definitely hiding something. whether it has something to do with Kaufmo, his situation or both, i wanna see what happens and what's going on with him.
personally, i want Jax to get worse, because it would be a very interesting look at how he deals with the circus compared to everyone else. i want him to get so aggressive and asshole-ish that he does something he deeply regrets (in reference to what a tweet from Gooseworx teases). to me, the biggest allure of TADC is the way the characters react to what's going on around them. each character has such a different way of coping with everything and i think Jax's way of coping, desiring chaos and death and destruction, would be an interesting look into who he is as a character. i want his harmful coping skills to drive him to a breaking point because hell yeah, character development!!! i want to see what makes the asshole into something closer to not really being as much of an asshole as he started out as.
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc ep 2#tadc jax#honestly you guys will see a character having ugly flaws you can't romanticise and then throw a big tantrum about it /nbh#i hope jax becoming popular will make more room for more asshole characters in media because they're usually the most-#-complex ones to think about#jax kinda reminds me of scout from tf2 surprisingly. both are major dickheads and do objectively bad stuff to people but-#-it's clear they do have a soft side and a reason for why they're like that. and they're also generally just really entertaining :)#anyway yeah i think people hating on jax is stupid and silly and ridiculous. like boohoo how dare the purple bnuuy be mean waaah#fandom discourse#(also ps. i wasn't a jax simp before but watching him be a huge dickhead might change that pretty soon lmaooo)
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Tone tags are abbreviations of the tone of your message, usually used by neurodiverse people due to our difficulty understanding jokes via text. It is often put at the end of a message in text
I see. It is an aid for people then? There's a lot of them.
Thank you. /srs
#ask#Are you supposed to use them in your posts?#/srs#Or in the tags?#There's also a lot of them that you'd have to add at the same time.#I hope my thank you does not come across as romantic? Do I have to specify that?#I enjoy /nbh. Very ominous.
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ok I’m really not trying to act like I hate other interpretations of Anya and curly but omfggggg I’m like sitting here biting my fist at some of these posts dude. what do you mean Anya and curly could be a happy family. what do you mean she seems like she’d keep the baby. what do you mean she seemed like she forgave curly ?!?!?!???!??!?! what !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? girlie they r not healing together I’m sorry he’s literally half the reason their asses ended up dead in the middle of space 😭😭😭😭
#insert nuanced perspective of curly situation here#idk maybe he’s more like a third. whatever#ppl act like he’s just there but he’s in a position of power! and all he does is enable his shitbag best friend!#like yes u can argue he’s also a victim of jimmy but in the end he still let his ass hurt Anya in such a horrible objectively evil way#it’s easiest to keep the peace so that’s what he does! his ass is part of the problem!#anyway u guys alrdy know how I feel abt Anya#her ass would kill jimmy given the chance I do not think she would happily keep that baby#fandoms see a woman in a Designated Woman Position#and go ohhhhhh ok obviously lol why would she ever want to do anything else ?????#my god#/nbh if anybody’s read that far#rlly not trying to stir up anything but like. Like like like#anya mouthwashing#nurse Anya#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#mouthwashing
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reminded daily why i dont like twitter aka X lol. the mindset on there is very hostile and argumentative for no reason. if you're on there too long, you'll be influenced to participate and that is not my ministry to engage in shenanigans. at one point twitter drama was funny but i'm...old now. i truly believe the ppl that enjoyed drama the most in school have poisoned community for pure entertainment. like trolling is now a regular form of speaking and groupthink whereas on tumblr it's not that deep. it’s educational and funny. idk that is an exhausting lifestyle to always b at odds over something trivial. tumblr will always be the OG platform I fear
#/general#/nbh#maybe its because im quite literally neurodivergent so i cant always pick up on social cues#but also its kinda insane to get mad over banter
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never understood people's displeasure when they say "treat others the way you want to be treated" and i actually treat them the way i want to be treated. you asked for this??? hello????
#like i make sure to compliment others because i want to be complimented back.#but i also view relationship as transactional. and apparently people dont like it (which doesn't make sense to me..... but whatever ig)#theres also a bunch of other stuff i know happened but cant remember that proves my point </3#anyway its /nbh. and not about anyone any of you know lol#☆.txt#🖤#cluster b#actually cluster b#actually autistic#autistic things
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just this once i will allow an ill wish and i wish everyone who is dismissive and supercilious about the struggles that the homeless and the homed but dirt poor go through a very I HOPE YOU TASTE THAT SHIT YOURSELF OH MY FUCKING GOD.
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I'm going to be loud and tell you you're a shithead if you tell others not to self diagnose personality disorders. You don't know the circumstances of the individual you're talking to and you're not a fucking know-it-all because you're professionally diagnosed. Get off your fucking high horse unless you want me to knock you the fuck down. I don't give a flying shit if you're doing this in good faith, focus on YOURSELF you sopping bitch
- Lemon
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Hey anons in my inbox maybe we shouldn't be trying to justify the way act 2 treated Suitcase & Nickel's relationship? Maybe it was just all around shitty? Maybe calling someone who left a toxic relationship a backstabber is just bad and gross?
#“Oh that's just how Mephone views it” he programmed her and also no it's not just Mephone#Knife said shit too#Also the narrative rn seems to be going for a more gray area on who was wrong rn#Despite the whole point of S3 being “Nickel fucked up big time”#object posting#I can't win can I?#I talk about how their relationship can be fixed and they can be happy and healthy in the end and people get pissed at me#I talk about how their relationship was toxic and S2C is mistreating it and people think I missed the point#Like what do you ppl want from me?! /nbh
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worst part of having a friend that never responds to messages (not their fault they just genuinely forget) is that i CANT GET A HOLD OF THEM AND I END UP HAVING TO SCAVANGE THRU THEIR ACCOUNTD TO MAKE SURE THEYRE ALIVE
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Awkwardness, tension, and lies part 2: Michael, I damn well know who you are.
I’m trying to be funny with that title, but I’m also so not. It’s crazy that we have the airport scene at all to highlight tensions, but the fact that Mike acts the way that he does around Will astounds me most about that whole situation.
Here’s why.
Mike argued in the Rink-o-Mania fight that he focused on sending letters to El, that Will should have reached out if he wanted to talk, that it was Will’s fault that they drifted apart. Once he blamed his prioritizing his girlfriend, twice he blamed Will. He never blamed himself. But then he did by episode 4. He called himself “a total self-pitying idiot.” He made up with Will. It was pretty clear that he missed Will, especially when he said that “Hawkins, it’s not the same without you.”
So Mike did miss him. Right? And if that’s true, then he was lying in that fight, right? He could have done better. Dare I say it, Mike probably wishes he could have done better.
Backtrack to episode 2 with the airport scene, the first hug. Mike misses Will. Thanks to foresight, we know this for a fact. And even if Mike wasn’t truly thinking about missing Will at the time, it’s there. It exists. Missing someone - even if it’s only realized in a short amount of time - doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow burn. Why then doesn’t he hug Will, say that he missed him, and let the fact settle in his mind?
The thing is that the show seems to answer this as Mike “worrying too much about El,” as said in the apology in episode 4, which leads me to believe that he was expressing indifference in that airport scene because he wasn’t really thinking about Will. But then how might Mike explain his behavior towards that painting? He takes two looks at Will and clocks it and immediately asks about what it is. He might be inquisitive for a number of reasons that we don’t get. Maybe it’s because of El mentioning it in her letter. Maybe it’s because Mike’s never seen Will brandish such a large piece before, and he’s curious. Maybe it’s because he’s trying to make small talk. Whatever the weather, Mike is interested in Will by asking. But he also doesn’t try to show it. He takes Will’s answer about it and cooly says, “cool.” Dead-faced. So, hm. Every which way you look at his reactions and composure in that airport scene, it seems like there’s no clear way to understand his motives.
Unless he’s hiding something. Because to me, this all sounds like Mike is hiding something, and him hiding something would quite frankly answer everything.
See, the thing is that for Will, he hasn’t changed so much over the seasons. He’s still sassy, he’s still strong at heart, he still fights for what’s right. And he still. Loves. Mike. I said in my last post that they both changed, but in actuality, Will was ready to welcome Mike with open arms, give him his painting, and love him no matter what, just like before. It’s Mike who stifled that by being withdrawn. Mike changed. And it’s Mike’s withdrawal that caused Will to change his attitude.
So notice how the story becomes so labyrinthine and Byler-centered at the get-go in season 4 because of Mike. I think that the show being in either El or Will’s perspective/focus whenever Mike is on screen is so interesting because we know that Mike has changed, but we never quite understand how, and it leaves us guessing.
In that airport scene, is he happy to see Will? Is he nervous to see Will? Is he trying to ignore Will? It could be, and I believe that it is, all three, but one thing is for sure: Mike isn’t truly indifferent. If he was indifferent, he wouldn’t have pulled the gayest most heartwarming apology for what he said in the Rink-o-Mania fight and basically ask Will to be in his life exactly as they were again. No, Mike isn’t one for indifference with Will. We’ve seen this in season 3 in him bringing Lucas to go biking to Will’s house in the rain to apologize. Mike pursues Will. And for Mike, that never changes.
With all of this in mind, with Mike factually and expressively missing Will, with Mike changing and being withdrawn, with Mike still choosing to pursue Will later on, in that airport scene, what could he be hiding?
To answer this, I bring back the concepts of awkwardness, tension, and lies. Guess what ties all three of those things together along with his missing, withdrawing from, and still pursuing Will; that’s right! Deep-seated, internally homophobic, hidden feelings.
Mike hugged Dustin after Erica won Eddie’s campaign. He hugged Lucas at the hospital. He’s not immune to hugging his best friends or something. This is about Will. There’s something different about him, to Mike. And I hear the question, well, wasn’t it the distance that was different? Mike stayed in Hawkins with Dustin and Lucas. Maybe he’s just more comfortable with them. But to that I say, okay, so, if we believe that, then Mike didn’t hug Will because he doesn’t know Will anymore, and he’s uncomfortable being close to him after a long time. But from the way that he chose to reach out to Will and remain close to him emotionally tells me so much otherwise. Even after all that time, Mike made amends first after their fight. He gleaned that Will wanted things to change. He knew that he was at fault all on his own. “Oh, I didn’t say it.” “You didn’t have to.”
And, mind you, they fought because of the tension at the airport scene! I think that I need to really make that clear. I’ve been using the Rink-o-Mania fight as a crutch to my case, but truly, it’s on the main page just as much as the airport scene! The tension culminated with their fight. They were mad at each other. They had reasons to be, too. They left off unresolved. Things could have soured and we may have never gotten answers as to why Mike walked away. And then that could have been it! That could have been the end of Mike and Will! The Duffers could have had their storylines no longer intersect and their chemistry fall completely flat, but no. Mike gave an entire heartfelt apology and that was one of the only times that seasons that we heard from his heart and his thoughts. And it was all to Will.
Mike undeniably still knew Will; he knew him enough to know what he did wrong and came around realizing what Will had argued to him. Mike wanted to be comfortable with him again. So no, he didn’t truly alienate Will nor become too uncomfortable with him not to wish “best friend”ship again with him. But he wasn’t that way at the airport, so what gives? What first impression hampered him from being close to Will if he, deep down, wanted closeness with Will? What complicated things so much that he had to hesitate with Will at first?
Truly, the moment that Mike made the airport scene awkward, I think that Bylers won. We didn’t get Will tripping over his feet, down bad for Mike and giving him the painting right then and there to be rejected. We didn’t get them hugging like it was nothing. We didn’t get comfortable smiles. We got tension, conflict, resolve, and betterment. We got everything. And we saw Will’s van confession, so we know that he’s been pining after Mike. And from the setup of the airport scene, with the question of what is Mike hiding? I think that Mike could damn well be pining after Will, too. I believe that there’s love at work here, a kind of love that binds people together. A kind that fights and makes up. A kind that slowly figures out how to navigate life together and confronts and mollifies pain as needed. A kind that gives advice and listens. A kind that can’t stop watching the other for assurance. A kind that gives each other their all.
I love the airport scene because, in my mind, it solidifies the fact that something’s up with Mike that we don’t know explicitly yet that we’ll have to explore next season. We’ve been given Will’s heart, we’ve been given El’s heart, but Mike has deflected self-vulnerability time and time again for the sake of others. But interestingly enough, the one exception is his apology to Will. (And, no, I don’t count his monologue to El in the final episode of season 4 as true vulnerability. Truth is, El was dying on that table and Mike had a sense of obligation to save her - wholly or not, a sense at least, and if you disagree with that then you don’t know Mike at all - so all of his words might not have been true.) I hope that he gets to be a little selfish for his own good next season and focuses on himself.
And maybe, just maybe, we’ll know what hindered him at that airport. What he was truly thinking about. Perhaps who he was truly thinking about.
#byler#byler analysis#long post#byler brainrot#it got me again#this was way longer than I intended it to be#also /nbh to argue against with all of this I’m just excited and arguing into the wall of this drought
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i totally get people not liking that yokomizo has pale skin in the new official art but.. why are you calling him white…..
#‘why is he white’ he’s not! he’s still japanese! hope this helps!!#to clarify i also prefer the darker skinned depictions of him. but just bc he was drawn with pale skin doesn’t mean he’s white ❤️#same for the rest of the japanese characters in bsd. use your brain please#/nbh. i’ve seen this like three times on twt tho 😐#hello grace here
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everyone say hiiiiii a.lys r.ivers witch queen of h.arrenhal!!!!!!
#ooc.#AND SHE'S N.ATIVE & RACISTS CAN CRY ABOUT IT#bc im TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD of yt witch characters. witches of color exist!!!!!!#can we let an indigenous woman be a witchy character for ONCE#that DOESNT revolve around men or @ the very least not making a (yt) man romance as her main storyline. that can stand on her own two feet.#there's. a lot of indigenous coding for the first men whether intentional or not & house s.trong r of first men descent.#a.lys is a bastard of house s.trong. & the children of the forest the green men the others etc are VERY similar to a lot of our lore !!#im not expecting ppl 2 conform but i Am expecting ppl 2 be normal & respectful about indigenous characters especially indigenous women /nbh#let an indigenous woman be an important part of the plot in the d.ance of the d.ragons like everybody else.#watch as westeros shits itself bc they would actually rather Die than have a bastardborn indigenous woman as a potential queen#w/ a son that couldve very easily challenged aegon iii's throne on top of that & when insulted quite literally blew sb's head off w/ magic.#& also litcherally had D.AEMON T.ARGARYEN THE ROGUE PRINCE ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS WARRIORS & DRAGONRIDERS IN WESTEROS ask for her help
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We fr need to study the bloggers who act like ppl bwing passionate about children's media is the death of literacy and also a huge burden on them because they regularly are like ughhh why does no one want to hear about my niche special interests as if they didn't alienate the majority of openly autistic people on this web site
#/nbh#im talking abt that comic abt someone reccong peppa pig as sattire and also the ex mutual i had who vagued me bc#i wanted toh characters to win a poll abt how annoying kids show enjoyers are#like ik its become trendy to make fun of autistic ppl with even the slightest cringe factor again#but you're not gonna make friends that way#yall cant even put up with sharing spaces with ppl with different interests than you lmao
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love seeing a perfectly good post on my dash that is ruined by a zoophile’s addition
#I don’t think the person I’m following who reblogged the post was aware of who the zoophile was#also /nbh because I don’t recall them ever following me#idk if I should go up to them because that could end bad and I’m scared of that#after I told someone they were reblogging from a rapist relatively recently I’m worried people just won’t listen
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