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gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please
It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)
#You just KNOW gideons makes tons of these 'is that a gun or are you just happy to see me' jokes#She holds the third gun in her mouth#looking so damn stupid but grinning like shes the coolest lmao#how are you even going to shoot girl#also: the paint has to get onto the skin somehow#hmm. lot to think about...#that was such a fun prompt dear ! I ended up enjoying this waaaaay too much <3#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#I'm not gonna tag it griddlehark but in my mind this IS griddlehark - because this outfit would make Harrow go insane lmao#not that she'd ever let griddle take one step outside looking like that if we're talking serious#but it's a look - a look I LOVE#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#requests
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So I've been thinking about them:
Specifically I was wondering what the moment was (if there even was a specific moment) that cinched it for Twilight developing feelings for Yor.
[Spoiler warning: this post references manga chapters not yet animated]
I think for Yor it's pretty quick. Like, this moment here:
Not that Yor fell in love with Twilight then (ymmv) or that she's fully aware of her feelings, but it's explicit that she felt connected to him here and attached in meaningful ways.
But for Twilight, it wasn't so clear. For a while I'd kind of decided that it just came over him slowly (and I think there is something to that) and that there wasn't any singular moment which stood out. But that didn't feel quite right. The more I thought about it, the more I thought there were two stand-out moments, only one of which Twilight actually (semi-)clocks.
The first, which I think passes him by entirely, is this:
In my view, this laugh is an entirely authentic response. I think he is, despite himself, delighted by this woman who 1. just unexpectedly saved him from being stabbed, and 2. did it by sending the guy flying across an entire alleyway.
This is accentuated in the anime, I think, by the jaunty, puckish music that makes up the first part of their marriage theme song. I am dying for the reappearance of this music in some fashion, btw, it's so fun and cheeky and I'm hoping foreshadows their vibe after various revelations and particularly when they start working together as Agent Twilight and Thorn Princess:
The second moment for Twilight, I think, is more subtle for all it's more impactful. Or at least, the degree of its importance passed me by on initial read/watch, and I think it's deliberately downplayed by Twilight himself. Because he does actually clock it but if he looks more closely at it, well... then he might have to do something about it. And maybe that something won't comport with what the mission needs, and then what?
It happens when Twilight first bugs Yor, and then poses with Franky as SSS agents to test whether she knows Yuri is with the SSS.
It's clear in the lead up that Twilight recognises he has some feelings about/for Yor, and he doesn't want to spy on her; he doesn't want to mistrust her at all. He has to convince himself to take seriously that she may be a potential threat.
And even then, the convincing only sort of mostly works, because he hesitates again:
Which is, by the way, bananas. At this point, they've been a fake family for maybe a handful of weeks? Twilight is an experienced, accomplished spy with a finely honed and necessary sense of paranoia. Of course he should be suspicious. Her brother is an SSS agent! Canonically, the SSS are both Twilight- and SSS self-described as Twilight's greatest existential threat. It shouldn't be a question whether or not to verify Yor's knowledge here. And yet.
We all know how the rest plays out. He decides that listening in isn't enough, he needs to confront her insofar as he's able. I wrote previously about Twilight's relationship with Anya and the pivotal moment for him in how his view of his relationship with Anya changes based on Anya's (and Endo's) choices. I think a similar thing happens in this scene with Yor.
See, it would have been enough for Yor to continue to deny, continue to not call on Yuri's help, to prove she didn't know, and to put Twilight's mind at ease.
Endo takes it further.
Y'all: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WILD. It borders on levels of impulsive foolhardiness that Twilight should actually take as a negative for the person playing his wife for Operation Strix. Yor even alludes later to the problems this could cause!
The SSS are indiscriminate; if Yor was facing down actual SSS agents, first assaulting and then threatening them would 100000% land her in custody. Were it not for Yuri, it may even get her disappeared, based on how casually and frequently Yuri references having people executed. It would absolutely put the Forgers at risk, in general and in the implicitly sexist Ostanian society, because if Mrs Forger behaves this way, how does Mr Forger behave? And why can't he control his wife? The Secret Police are not known for their leniency, their modesty, their discerning, their temperateness, their mercy. They are known for the exact opposite of those things. And due to being a spy, Twilight probably knows they're actually much worse than even their public reputation.
And here's Yor saying: you can question me but if you threaten my brother or my husband, I will fucking end you. Bodily.
Of course, it's entirely in keeping with her character, and it's an entirely revealing moment of who she is. And I think this is the moment for Twilight. He's already been trusting her bit by bit, as he says above, intuitively. I'd suggest that maybe even more than that though, Yor taps into something Twilight deeply wants: backup. Someone and somewhere safe. Maybe we could describe a person fulfilling that role in an adult relationship as a partner...?
It's because he doubts his intuition (his wants, his feelings, things he shouldn't be countenancing) that we get to this point where he (overzealously) tests her.
She blows his test right out of the water.
The SSS are basically the group he fears most; this is reiterated throughout the story. He doesn't trust them specifically because of who he is and also just generally. He doesn't trust their judgment. He doesn't share their values or their priorities. He doesn't like them around. He doesn't like them looking. He doesn't like being anywhere near them. (Also, he's right.)
And here's Yor. Not only standing up to them on his behalf but actually going on active defence on his behalf.
(I pause here to note 'on his behalf' is a bit, mm, tricky, since it's actually technically on Loid's behalf and I have Thoughts and Feelings about Twilight & Identity. But for the sake of the impact of this moment on Twilight, we'll take it as writ that in this moment there's no appreciable difference between Twilight and Loid.)
I think from here on out, it's incredibly difficult for Twilight to ever doubt or distrust Yor. He perceives her as firmly in his corner, that if the chips are down — if his worst enemy and his worst fear come knocking — she'll be on his team, unflinchingly. He may not think there will be much she can do (heh.) or much she can offer given the power of the SSS and her civilian status (I reiterate: heh.), but it matters that he believes that she'll be by his side.
And you know what? He's right. She will be.
That isn't something he's had since he was a little boy. Even WISE doesn't seem to offer that to its agents, given Nightfall's thought here:
Twilight's had to rely on himself for decades and now here's this astonishing woman who will threaten the Secret Police for his sake. Of course he trusts Yor. Of course this moment widens the cracks in his barriers. And further: of course those cracks start to reach into those walls deep, deep inside that protect his heart. This is all before getting to other moments, like when he reflects on how Yor is creating a better world in ways he (thinks he) can never aspire to do himself. That she loves Anya openly, freely, with such dedication, to the point of sacrificing her own needs. That she just never gives up, she persists and persists and persists, always doing her best. That she reminds him it's okay to accept peace and to rest. That she wants and tries to take care of him... On and on and on.
Of course we get to this point:
I'm particularly taken with his body language a little later in the scene. He manages to get himself to sitting but he's still sprawled, open, even as he can't wrap his mind around what exactly is happening or why, and he's feeling vulnerable for all that. But at the same time, this is Yor. And she's safe.
In my view, if the Mole Arc hadn't happened immediately between this moment and the earlier where Yor declares herself unhappy, it would have been clearer how much stress he felt specifically due to Yor's apparent sudden unhappiness with their arrangement. The stress got subsumed (conveniently, ahem, Endo) into the stress and violence of the Mole Arc, but I think it rattled him pretty profoundly. It's also additionally why her warm greeting hit him as hard as it did: relief across multiple lines, such that he had to remind himself not to relax, despite Yor's apparent return to normal.
And there may be added layers to Twilight's reactions to Yor's bad moods due to his familial history, as pointed out by @unhappy-sometimes in this post; the inverse, of course, is that Yor's general good-naturedness would add layers to Twilight's sense of security with her. And the apparent loss of that, all the more devastating.
Rounding out the original moment though, I think this in many ways demonstrates the point:
Twilight throws away the bug. That is also wild. It isn't like that bug could only be used on Yor; it wasn't somehow modified to only respond to her person. It was a device that could be used and reused on different targets, on people who actually are worthy of being bugged, etc. But instead of pocketing it for later use, Twilight throws it away.
Actually: he not only throws it away, he crushes it first. Perhaps because he couldn't stand to have that particular device around, the device he used when he doubted Yor?
Seems kind of irrational, Twilight.
Seems kind of telling.
I mentioned my last Twilight meta about his relationship with Anya: in that, I suggest Twilight recognised entering into a compact with Anya, which subtly modifies, for him, the motivations around Strix. I think something like that happens here, too. If Yor is willing to go to such apparent extremes to protect him, he'll do his utmost to protect her.
I've had this meta in my drafts for a while, but I'm chuffed by this panel from the most recent chapter, as it kind of underscores all this by Yor's positioning of herself:
(Of course the point is there isn't a dichotomy: they'll protect each other, as indicated by Yor's if I had to choose: she won't have to choose.)
Back to Twilight, at this point, he can still justify all this as being within mission parameters. Of course he should protect Yor: she is an innocent civilian and if anything happens to her it would threaten Strix. But if/when this line is tested, if/when there comes a point where protecting Yor is actually the option that may put Strix at risk or put him somehow in opposition to WISE, then we'll see.
And more importantly, Twilight will see, too.
#twiyor#loidyor#spy x family#spy x family meta#agent twilight#yor forger#er and should also probs tag this#long post#sorry 😅#one day i will make my twilight and identity post#somehow i always end up polishing my meta drafts when i'm about to post a fic update that's stressing me out lmfao#here fandom take this!#meta
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Suki - Chimera Falin amv
I present before you: The Chimera Falin Edit.
#This took me like prolly 6 or so hours to do so feast well y'all and take ur meds and drink water#had to get in that “WOAH HEY” somehow#tiddies out for falin (and marcille she would love to see them)#anime watchers not finna get the uardlle joke but manga readers y'all BETTER LAUGH OR ITS BACK TO NO CONTENT.#if the manga readers dont laugh im never finna acknowledge them again and this will be their only acknowledgement from me good day /jjjj#if you caught the lesbian flag being in front of marcille at the end you are entitled to a kiss on the forehead and a membership to the +#farcille fanclub below#fun fact: I had to MAKE THAT FUCKING MARCILLE REACTION IMAGE MYSELF WHY WAS IT NOT ALREADY A THING#TOOK UP SO MUCH TIME.#also thank whoever reads the tags y'all are my favorite pookies#farcille#falin thorden#falin dungeon meshi#falin dunmeshi#falin touden#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#marcille dunmeshi#marcille dungeon meshi#marcille x falin#falin x marcille#chimera falin#falin chimera#faligon#dragon falin#delicious in dungeon amv#falin delicious in dungeon#marcille delicious in dungeon#oh also ig toshiro is here but i dont care about that man good night.#if you saw this last tag im literally giving you a kiss.
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Dani x Jason Prompt
(Because i dont see enough of these two together. Also, this is another prompt i found in my fic files that i never did anything with.)
While Danny is in Amity Park protecting the ghost portal, Dani explores the world. Danny might be powerful enough to put down any threat, even Ancients, but she isn't as lucky. Her best defense against Vlad or the GIW is to never be in the same place two days in a row. Not to say she isn't powerful in her own right - she's yet to meet a ghost in her travels that she couldn't utterly crush, and even if she had, she's got the most loyal dog in both this world and the next to have her six.
Dani has discovered a great deal of beauty throughout the world in her few short years of life, but also unfathomable evil and undescribable corruption. She does what she can in every place she passes through, her ghost powers the ultimate cheat code for investigation and subterfuge, bringing to light the things that once hid in the dark.
But while scoping out yet another child trafficking ring, she crosses paths with a spirit of vengeance. At least, that's the only explanation she can come up with for how he's able to turn his shock and horror into pure rage at the flip of a dime.
Until she realizes that he's a baby halfa. If he doesn't learn how to mediate his emotions, he's going to burn out one of his halves.
Maybe she can help him stabilize into a proper spirit of justice and keep him from following the path that Vlad went down - oh shit, he doesn't even know that he's undead. Well, this is going to be a project and a half. But Dani is nothing if not resourceful - she's more than willing to put in the work if it means making an ally of the fourth known halfa.
Featuring:
Dani and jason are about the same age (16-17ish)
They run into each other during jason's LoA-sponsored world tour, investigating the same trafficking ring
Cujo is there too
Dani totally helps with the crime lord grand plan, but also wrestles jason down from the more messed up family drama stuff he did, like attacking tim, and knocks some sense into him and finds a better solution for dealing with the joker
#dpxdc#dp x dc#jason x dani#can be romantic or platonic as long as its ride or die#if good fenton parents then dani AND jason are treated like bonus children#but this can be pre reveal or bad reveal too#but danny (and potentially his parents) are background characters that only exist to provide support when needed#also some time after meeting the two drop off the face of the earth so effectively that not even talia can find them#they show back up like a month later and jason is now a fully trained amazon warrior#because he and dani spent a month training in the realms under pandora while also healing jason's core#in this au team phantom and dani are very nearly robin-level vigilantes because they have an army of mentors in the realms#and if dani is 16-17 that means danny is 18-19#lol maybe hes already in gotham for college when dani and jason start up jason's master plan#what if damian gets sent to bruce a few years early because danny dealt with the LoA after meeting jason and learning about the pits?#or both dannies teamed up with jason once hes settled into his powers and all work together to destroy the lazerous pits#and the three of them somehow end up with an assassin child to coparent#idk im going off on tangents now so i gotta stop with the tags
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purgatory / the nothingness
#tenka willow#my sona#there's no light in this room#my art#you don't get to see the hall of nothing because no (its literally just a hall of nothing#i would've drawn it but its less important and also i drew too much today already#pumping out lore art for the important end of willow's timeloop atleast#the nothingness normally is indeed literally just nothing for most people#but if you don't somehow die then you get to enjoy this beautiful place (not)#i feel like willow is probably one of the only ones who can access it because he cant die#being the creator and all#also i briefly explained the purpose of the purgatory and nothingness (and the hall) in the last lore post i think#im always up to questions tho im too lazy to explain everything in detail in tags
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as a Certified Timeloop Enjoyer(tm) I am of course already being SO well fed by Bridon Arc (posting as of ep 2) and the implications for the rest of the series.
But also if it ends up being that Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are literally BOTH repeatedly timelooping to save each others lives and hiding it from each other, I am going to Lose My Mind
#I'll be tagging these as#link click spoilers#and also#link click bridon arc#also am I making shit up or did Qiao Ling also Get Powers in end of S2 I have forgotten literally so much.#like I don't think it was confirmed but esp with new context / confirmed visual of what it looks like to be Given Power was that not there?#hopefully more on that to come in s3#link click#also qiao ling ma'am your outfits continue to serve#also also I am so endlessly amused by the lu guang // homura parallels#kind of wanna write a bit where The Crew Watches Madoka and lu guang is soooo normal about it. bonus points if lu guang homura cosplay#actually editing to add: bonus BONUS points if they ARE both timelooping and they BOTH have to pretend to be normal about madoka.#perhaps arguing over who is homura in this situation while somehow managing to avoid Actually Discussing The Situation
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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As part of a two-part reverse bang-bang, here's some more Valentines art to which @probablytoooldforthis wrote an amazing fic, Sweets for the Sweet! Please go check it out, I promise you won't regret it, and keep your eyes peeled for the second chapter - and artwork, of course - coming out on White Day aka the 14th of March!
Also, I this is an unrendered version, the finished version will be posted within about a week's time (hopefully) since I don't have access to digital drawing at the moment YuY
#this piece makes me so happy#and the fic even more so#i really wish i hadnt ended up on crunch time to even get this half finished version done but whoever said i was a responsible adult#whoever said i had time management skills#whoever said that was wrong#anyway THEYRE MAKING CHOCOLATES BECAUSE I COULDNT NOT#viktor is very concentrated UuU#also if any actual confectioners (is that the english word? idk) see this feel free to yell at me in the tags for everything thats wrong#my experience with making filled chocolates is extremely limited and very messy#so uh#this is probably not accurate#BUT THEYRE HAVING FUN AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#i like to think viktor has clips to keep his hair out of the way but he always somehow manages to lose them oh how sad how “unfortunate”#guess yuuri will just have to keep his hair up yet again how tragic YnY#also yuuri 100% knows viktors clips dont magically disappear but he cant get himself to say anything because does he really mind?#no#no he doesnt#not at all#he gets to lovingly brush viktors hair out of his eyes what in the world would he be complaining about?#yuri on ice#yuri on ice fanart#fanart#art#arom antix#arom antix art#katsuki yuuri#viktor nikiforov#viktuuri
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arc goes on a silly little trip to a dying kingdom on a finding nemo style search for its kid
#i think arc would be severely diminished in hallownest being outside its realm of influence+it is still rather young at this point#so its blending in with the locals to make navigating easier#this crossover involves baby gira slipping thru the cracks and somehow ending up in another universe. arc follows to find it#does seeing the decay+failure of the deities in this world leave a lasting impact on arc as an inexperienced young deity itself? well. :)#iffy on this design i did it quick but its hitting a lot of points i wanted generally. i dont wanna make it too fancy. simplicity is a poin#arc can manifest some extra arms (made of solid white light)+wield two more swords#brings resemblance to its wheel#has some elements that resemble the radiance. this is purposeful. not bc of malignance on arcs part they are both sun based deities#im justt fuckin around. smile#pokemon#arceus#sketch#also uuuh if youre seeing this wo any context for my arc n baby gira stuff check this tag:#poke mythos#or even#baby gira
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rottmnt/gotham dream drawings as promised lmao
#rottmnt#rise mikey#rise donnie#magma.jpg#this is technically a batman fusion but i wont tag that#anyway pasting tags from dream post ->#a kind of batman rottmnt fusion with new york and gotham except the only thing that came with gotham was dr. freeze and the Gotham Vibe(tm)#+ he's like donnies adopted uncle/mentor#also he's friends with big mama for some reason.#anyway. plot of dream is that a magic surge of some kind happens and strong magic users end up getting fused with things they work with#the turtles + draxum are out of town for some other thing (fighting something- mikey has lost his arm. draxum has also lost an arm)#(draxums arm was gone before the fight though)#(anyway)#donnie is left in new york as a home guard or something so hes been spending more time around freezes lab#just before the magic surge freeze leaves (for some reason)#and when the surge happens donnie ends of fusing with both his own tech and freezes tech#this causes a lot of it to ice explode and dr. freezes hideout turns into a stabby stabby glacier#donnie ends up on big mamas roof somehow and she assumes hes dr freeze due the the ice#dream ends there#it had some cool visuals and the phantasm arms are extreemly drawable
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King, looking for Alan and SC, finding them sleeping in the ceiling. In their cursor form.
oops! ceiling nap
#tommy's foolery#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#selkie sticks au#looking for alan while he's sleeping in cursor form is so weird. he will be wedged in the most bizarre spots#and sc is almost always somehow next to him also sleeping#he doesn't know how he ends up in these uncomfortable positions#it's very fortunate that cursors do not have spines to fuck up
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#kazjun#jun kazama#kazuya mishima#tekkenedit#tekken#my edit#my stuff#if these don't sync up (bc the kaz gif ended up a lil bigger in filesize somehow) pls refresh until they do!!#i love their mannerisms here as they face each other. jun's slightly bowed head but intense unwavering gaze#kazuya's head gesture that could honestly mean so many things all at once#one thing i love most is jun as the immovable object with the defensive style stays in place with her low centre of gravity#while kaz unstoppable force himself is the opposite. he moves around the most before settling into stance. they are always contrasting.#i picked this stage for the aesthetic - got to go a bit crazy with the colours but also there are red spider lilies which i love#there's other reasons i wont get into. but will say this stage gave me the theory that the tekken tag games take place in jin's mind.
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i made a polished version because i could not resist batrok
#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#barok van zieks#jinxed fanart#i decided to write a fic where hes a vampire and somehow gets stuck in his bat form. i havent started it yet#but i love the idea of kazuma just carrying bat van zieks around. including to court#and kazuma's like “oh one of lord van zieks's bats got hurt so im watching over it for him”#kazuma ends up taking him to iris and sholmes because iris is ALSO a vampire so he assumes she knows what to do (she doesnt)#i was writing that fic in my head while i was drawing this lmfao#tgaa2 spoilers#(in the tags at least)
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Okay I saw more of your art and had to come back (if it’s okay)
Maybe this time….King Marty? Like in a kings outfit with the septor
and crown and stuff? Idk
no problem at all! i'm just happy you enjoy :D
anyone with any remote knowledge of historical dress from any vague period or region please avert your eyes.
#im having a real doc brown crude model moment here over the fit LMAO.#marty mcfly#bttf fanart#bttf#back to the future#not Exactly what you asked for? i could not bear to draw the fancy stick alas. and it's more of a prince vibe than a king vibe#bc if this guy held any sort of significant position of power something would combust#ik it's a silly doodle but of course i gotta make up some context bc that's part of the fun. YAP SESSION WARNING#i was thinking that doc and marty were dicking around somewhere in a place and period of time with a monarchy. for Science#and for one reason or another he ends up getting mistaken for royalty or something. may or may not be related to how straight his teeth are#so they drag his ass back to the palace and marty has No Fucking Clue what's happening. meanwhile doc is on the verge of a stroke#i think it would be really funny if some princess got infatuated with marty and now he has the plot of the first movie on his hands again#except instead of him ceasing to exist it's like. the entire history of a country#so doc's trying to get him out of there and marty's trying to let this chick down gently bc he doesn't want her to like. kill him or smth#and also there's probably a tannen thrown in there too bc why the hell not#i don't even like royalty aus that much for this fandom but somehow i've got a decent amount of thoughts about this LMAO.#you asked for a silly doodle and somehow it came with a whole fic idea too. whoops#anyone want to take this idea and run with it feel free to#kit does an art#kit yap session#<- bc of the sheer amount of tag on this
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tumblr ate the ask bc it doesn’t want me to win — but @blackjackkent asked for jaheira/khalid + silence!
[ silence ] sender and receiver comfortably exist in silence together, both of them working or reading or focusing on something different
The flowers are blooming too early. Jaheira is pretending not to be bothered by this; she has mentioned three times already over the course of this mission that one cannot attempt to control nature, that talking the flowers out of blooming when they will is a fool’s errand, that the spring coming on too impatiently and forcing some flowers to freeze is all part of nature’s will. Yet tonight, she is fussing over them, working to strengthen the soil with her druidic magic, trying in vain to harden the flowers against the coming frost.
Khalid loves her so much that he can barely breathe to think about it. The fact that this woman is so often able to scare the world around them into submission is a marvel to him when her heart is, in many ways, even more delicate and prone to injury than his own. She has the ferocity of a panther, and yet he knows it will hurt her when the flowers fall, never mind how she holds her chin high and maintains otherwise. In this same way, he knows that he will be there to twine their fingers together and soothe her bruised soul. Such is how they fit together.
He turns his attention back to the half-cut gem he has been fiddling with. He thinks it will suit his wife’s eyes very nicely, but the question remains: will she prefer earrings or a necklace? She is very particular when it comes to jewelry, but she will wear whatever he makes her, whether or not it is to her taste, because she is kind like that. He wants to make sure he creates something that is worth the honor of being worn, day in and day out, by Jaheira.
Jaheira’s fingers stroke the petals of the flower underneath her hands with the same sort of awkward gentleness that she directs towards animals, small children, Khalid in the throes of panic. He watches her, and she must feel his gaze, because color rushes to her cheeks as she smiles.
#fic#jaheira x khalid#jaheira#khalid#excited to announce this second try ended up better than the first one.#also excited to announce that i am feeling soooo unwell about these two. again#NEED THIS IN THE TAGS SHE LOVES WHATEVER HE MAKES BC HE MADE IT. he is just not clocking that somehow after like a decade of marriage
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so ... demons coming right after elegy, in the middle of the cancer arc is a crazy choice and i know it means something. please share all your big brain thoughts on mulder & demons?
well...it's kind of like...in elegy, they're being haunted by the future (omens of scully's impending death), in demons, they're haunted by the past (visions from before samantha disappeared). both are highly metaphorical, and both are intrusive, even though he sought out the second. the first is too much. the second isn't enough. and after elegy it's becoming clear that...nothing will be enough. she is so close to death that she can see it. she can't...hide it from him, anymore. she's been dying for a long time. and she doesn't make him face it. she never has that moment where she tells him to just get over it. she never has that moment where she tells him to just accept it, stop avoiding it. she goes to all of her appointments alone. she bleeds alone. even in elegy when they almost argue over it, she tells him that she is fine, and then she goes outside and cries in her car.
but she's not fine, she's so close to death that she can see it, and he knows that. he's so eternally aware. mulder's fatal flaw is that he can see the world, he understands every underlying system, he knows people and how they think. and when he says "i refuse to believe that," he knows that doesn't make it go away. in elegy, he tells her that he's afraid, and she tells him that she's fine. it is a system established long before this particular death sentence.
in the script notes for the last scene of never again, it is remarked that: “if it were ever going to happen, it would be now. as they maintain the silence.”
the way i see it, never again is when they knew. they are not escaping each other. they are dying together. you are coming down with me. (hand in unlovable hand). and then, in the very next episode, comes a diagnosis. they are dying together. and they are dying now. silence is maintained.
so what does she do, after her diagnosis? she buys a journal, and she writes. she writes him letter after letter after letter. begging forgiveness. begging grace. begging courage.
the page that he found, that he read, this is what it said:
“mulder, i feel you close, though i know that you are now pursuing your own path. for that i am grateful- more than i could ever express. i need to know you’re out there if i am ever to see through this.”
i need to know you’re out there. a few months later, in demons, a gun to his chin on the floor of his childhood home, does she feel that he’ll be “out there”? she finds out she doesn’t have much longer to live, maybe weeks, in the next episode, and she doesn’t tell him. she maintains silence.
there’s so much discourse over the choices that mulder makes in demons…it was selfish, it was stupid, it was confusing…i see people ask all the time why he would willingly do something that causes everyone to kill themselves. the answer, of course, is that mulder wants to kill himself. that’s not new, we all watched pusher. (scully watched too). in redux it’s revealed that the “gethsemane” of the episode directly following demons is not scully’s inevitable and closely impending death, it’s mulder alone in his apartment with a gun.
i’m really uninterested in attempting to moralize these decisions…what’s “selfish” at the end of the world? i think demons makes people uncomfortable. to watch a dying woman care for her reckless partner. i also think that’s…the point.
demons is desperate. there’s an obvious desperation in mulder, of course, but also in scully.
throughout season four, we’re watching scully die. she’s getting smaller. she’s getting weaker. she’s getting sicker. but as it progresses, scully is realizing that mulder is dying too. and it all culminates in demons. and what can she do but be afraid? what can she do but get down on the ground and hold him? what can she do but write about what she fears will happen to him? she won’t be there.
nothing will ever be enough after elegy. and there’s nothing that he can do that’s enough. he can’t save her (so he thinks). and…he can’t solve the quest before she dies. he can’t give her the answers that she’s dying for. demons to me is such a last ditch effort. such a hail mary. she deserved to know the capital t Truth, before she’s gone. and i think they both know that maybe, when she is gone, it will never be found.
#they’re DYING.#he does this drastic stupid thing because maybe then they’ll know about samantha. and they can go in peace.#i also think about ‘closure’ and how that’s 3 years after this and scully is there doing EVERYTHING doing all of the work and it was still#so hard. nearly unsurvivable.#and i think about what if she had died. and what if somehow he kept going. and he ended up there alone.#and she’s thinking that too. he will be alone. he will have no one. he will not be ‘out there’ and if by some miracle he is#he will be facing it by himself. he will be facing the Truth and the loss and the grief alone.#that one shot of ‘demons’ where he just falls to the floor and she slowly kneels beside him and drapes herself over him and holds him#that’s this entire era to me. that’s what it culminates at. because they’re still not saying it but they’re seeing it.#and what is there to do? she’s so sorry.#and she’s so scared#asks#demons#Lol I wrote this and the tags months ago before leaving tumblr ✌️
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