#also!! why does no one talk about how precious their friendship is?!

[hartteart]

if you hate yourself so much why don’t you hatemarry yourself?

[bambooswordwielder]

Obsessed with the fact that Shen Yuan only transmigrates when all the Peaklords have settled into their positions for a few years because the idea of Shang Qinghua being stuck watching Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge arguing for nth time about some budget detail that is DEFINITELY getting overblown now and just being stuck thinking

"Damn this would've been such a good enemies to lovers plot line... Imagine how much I could've made off of them..." and regretting not monetising their rivalry more before he killed off Liu Qingge ( "Oh and the angst Shen Qingqiu would've faced after his secret lover died and everyone blamed him for it! Fans would've been begging for more extras!" 🐹💔)

Like all the peaklords are desperately trying to mediate and fix the situation and Shang Qinghua is just imagining his one hundredth Fix-It Fic/AU where Shen Jiu is the King's trusted scholar and Liu Qingge is the King's personal bodyguard

Everyone thinks when a single tear falls from Shang Qinghua's eyes its because during Liu Qingge and Shen Jiu's fight they destroyed both his newly drafted budget (for the fifth time that month) and the fact they also destroyed the table (for the third time that week and the week just started)

Reality is Shang Qinghua is crying because he thought of an angsty death scene for the two Romeo and Juliet style because both their families couldn't accept them being together

Years of this pass and at some point he even picks up writing again (specifically about characters clearly based on Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge) and he gets really popular, popular enough his novels start to flood all of Cang Qiong and even Liu Mingyan takes some inspiration from them

Everyone knows damn well that the characters are clearly meant to be Peaklord Shen and Peaklord Liu, but no one tells because they all are legitimately waiting for the next volume of "Battle-to-your-poisonous-heart-and-peaches"

Does everyone know it's Shang Qinghua... Noooo.. Would anyone admit if they did know.... No.

Then all the sudden on day Shen Qingqiu suddenly looked in the dictionary and discovered what the word 'nice' is and now he doesn't abuse his students 🐹🤯

He even let himself get poisoned and potentially ruined his cultivation for life for Luo Binghe of all people!? Um excuse Airplane Logic, but the MC is supposed to only get all the good stuff AFTER he falls into the abyss!

And what's this about Liu Qingge helping to 'clear' his meridians so he has to personally visit Qing Jing peak every week?? Def something is off, an author knows fishy when he sees it

For how many years Shang Qinghua is stuck watching these two do their whole "You're my precious Shidi" and "I'll always be here for you" act and he's just stuck eating dogfood wondering when exactly is the marriage extra coming in and why the System won't tell me why Shen Qingqiu is acting all happy go lucky now

Shang Qinghua notices Shen Qingqiu talking to Yue Qingyuan more, he notices Qing Jing disciples running straight to Shen Qingqiu with joy and excitement rather than the reserved fear they had before, he notices how Shen Qingqiu only glares at him twice every meeting than before!

Maybe this isn't his version of PIDW, maybe it's a fan made version where Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu fall in love and with the power of love and friendship Shen Qingqiu learns to be kind and to care and isn't going to cause Luo Binghe to go down his dark path and maybe they can all have a happyily ever after—

*Endless Abyss Arc*

"Oh fuck–"

[Before Endless Abyss Arc]

*Shang Qinghua watching from a distance as Luo Binghe is practically clinging to Shen Qingqiu's side. Shen Qingqiu pats Luo Binghe's head and Luo Binghe does THAT smile he only does for his wives*

"Well this is an interesting fanfic..."

[After Airplane Reveal]

"Wait... So you're actually a transmigrater as well, Cucumber-Bro?"

"Yeah, and?"

"..."

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Do you hate, or have you at least at some point hated, Liu Qingge?"

"I– No–Wait what???"

"Let me reword it. Have you ever considered murdering him at one point?"

"WHYAREYOUASKINGMETHESEQUESTIONS!? YOUKNOWWHATHAPPENEDTOSHENJIU! IMNOTRISKINGHISFATE!"

"... So I'll take that as a no."

"OBVIOUSLY!?"

"So it's just a normal Friends to lovers 😮‍💨 No flavour 🙄"

Shang Qinghua was then brutally attacked.

[During the Five Years SY was dead]

*Shang Qinghua watching Liu Qingge go every single day to fight Luo Binghe for Shen Qingqiu's body*

"Oh my Airplane.... It's not a enemies-to-lovers... It's not Teacher X Disciple... It's a bloody love triangle with both! Oh how much money this plot would've made me 💔 I would've been able to pay for four months worth of rent and groceries!"

Random Disciple visiting An Ding: "Um.... Is Shang-Shibo okay? He fell on the ground?"

An Ding Disciple: "Leave him. He does that sometimes. Now about your budget request..."

*Shang Qinghua screaming in the background*

Random Disciple: "..."

An Ding Disciple: "..."

Random Disciple: "Should we check on–"

An Ding Disciple, now dragging other disciple away: "Let's settle this at your peak."

Years later when Bingqiu have already had their wedding and everyone has become somewhat tolerant of their relationship, Shang Qinghua just sighs loudly and Shen Yuan asks him what's up. Shang Qinghua looks him in the eyes and just shakes his head.

"My ship...💔"

"..."

"OW– Why did you have go hit me on the head!?"

"Because I don't want to know what's going on in there and I need to make sure what's in there stays in there."

[valentoshi]

a boy who's nice that breathes

pairing : wakatoshi ushijima x reader

warnings : none, fluff

authors note : ts is lowk buns... and also not proofread cus uhhhh cba❤️❤️❤️

even at your young age, you’d written off “love.” honestly, what does it even mean to love? it had lost all its meaning anyway, thrown around fast and loose, the genuine meaning of it was gone in your opinion, how could one word even have more than one meaning?

so why, why on earth did your newly found friendship with Wakatoshi Ushijima feel so different?

you’d had male friends before, of course you had. but you’d never felt like this about them. you were extremely close with tendou, that’s how this friendship had even come about. tendou had left you in his and ushijimas shared dorm while he ran and errand, naturally, you and ushijima had started talking and you found yourself curious, craving more conversation with him.

from then on you’d spent a lot more time in their dorm to say the least.

obviously you’d always known about ushijima, after all he was the star player on the college volleyball team. it was kind of hard to not know him. but despite having been around him because of tendou you’d never actually spoken to him before then.

he interested you, he seemed so invested in the conversation while not being overbearing. he was a calmness that’s strongly contrasted tendous, and honestly your own.

typically speaking when you met new people, you naturally put on a facade of sorts. suppressing your natural self so as to not scare them off, but with ushijima it was genuinely different, and that wasn’t because you wanted it to be, if anything you wanted it to be the same, but with ushijima you didn’t feel that need to suppress yourself. there was something so relaxing about his presence.

but you had sworn off love, so these feelings; the tingle in your fingers whenever your around him, the heavy flaps of butterflies in your stomach, the way your face heated ever so slightly. they didn’t make any sense. it couldn’t be that you had feelings because you didn’t even believe in them, or love.

sure, you could admit he was a blatantly attractive man, and that was probably it. that was probably why all those feeling bubbled up to the surface the way they did when you were around him.

tendou, being ever mischievous immediately caught wind of what was going on, seemed he knew the truth, more than you did.

you were supposed to be at some party tonight but you really had no interest, you were only going because tendou absolutely insisted that you go and keep him company. a part of you really hoped that ushijima would be there but you knew better than that, he clearly was not a party person. that being said, that didn’t stop him from tagging along to go buy the alcohol tendou would be bringing, making sure to usher tendou into doing their weekly shop while he was there.

you were also tagging along, planning on buying something to take that you probably wouldn’t touch. while you were into the whole party scene, and drank a lot at them, exams looming over your head and your confusing feelings towards ushijima had left you completely uninterested in drinking or going to parties.

“what are you getting, tendou.” his calm voice rumbled deep in his chest. your head quickly whipped towards him, it was like a knee jerk. why the hell were you acting like this?

“just some stuff, they’re gonna have mixers so i don’t really mind.” he practically sang it back to the taller one. there was something precious in the way they interacted.

“and you y/n?” while you liked the sound of his voice, it was equally as satisfying as it was mesmerising. his words falling upon deaf ears as you just stared at him sort of lost in thought. he cleared his throat managing to rip you from your trance. “what are you getting?”

“oh—right—uhm i’m not really sure..” you continued to scan the bottles, nothing sounded appealing. infact they all made your stomach turn, making you feel sick before you’d even drank them.

“ushi why won’t you come to the party” the red head whined as she grabbed a bottle of something or other.

“you know this, tendou, it’s not my thing.”

“why can’t it be your thing—it’s y/n’s thing, see!” he gestured to you, not expecting you to look to uninterested in the liquor infront of you. “or it was.” he deflated as he stared at you.

“y/n?” the brunette called. you turned to look at him, face still bored.

“yeah?”

“are you okay?” usually, when people asked you this question all it warranted was a ‘yep.’ or a ‘yeah i’m fine.’ but for some reason when ushijima asked you this, it felt like he was genuinely asking because he wanted to know.

“i just don’t really feel like going tonight.”

“oh.”

“say what now?!” tendou exclaimed. “but you have to y/n please.” he was whining now.

“tendou. she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to.”

“no i probably should i also kinda wanna socialise tonight, ive been shut up doing revision all week i should probably see people.”

ushijima hummed, looking at his friend, curiously observing the way he lit up a little.

“hey y/n why don’t you go watch a movie with ushiwaka instead of the party!”

“why would i do that?”

“why would she do that?”

you both asked in unison, this only made tendou laugh. you knew your friend was a bit of a lunatic at times but you didn’t realise it went this far. this might have been his craziest idea to date.

“well duhhh. y/n doesn’t wanna be alone or whatever she said and well you’re not gonna be with anyone so it’s perfect!”

“failing to see how this is perfect.”

“you guys have been talking a lot more recently, no? it’s a good way for you to become better friends!”

you exchanged a look with ushijima, it seemed like he was actually considering this crazy idea.

you deflated, “yeah fine. so we’ll…watch a movie then?”

“yeah.”

“perfect! ooh you guys should go buy some snacks!”

—

ushijima shoved into the dorm room holding all the grocery bags, you had offered to help him but, ushijima refused, telling you he could handle it and that you didn’t need to worry.

he placed the bags down on the side and then it got awkward. you both sort of just stood there in silence for a while. if you were being honest, you hadn’t actually expected him to want to have you over. you’d expected him to say a stern no or something, but he hadn’t, had he wanted you here?

you decided you better not entertain those kinds of possibilities as your heart pounded in your ears and your stomach began to flutter. you still hadn’t quite figured out the true nature of your interest towards ushijima and you chose not to give that much thought either, you weren’t going to fall in love so feelings were out of the question.

“take a seat i’ll grab you a drink.”

you nodded, moving over to sit on the couch. he soon walked over with a glass of water.

“sorry we don’t have anything else.”

“no no it’s fine.”

he sat in the space next to you, and then came another awkward silence and once again you were plagued by thoughts of him, he was so close after all.

“what do you want to watch?”

“i’m not bothered.”

“i’ll just put on the movie channel then.”

there was the awkward silence again. ushijima flicked on the movie channel, you could recognise the movie that was playing but you’d forgotten the name of it, you didn’t mind it though.

as the movie carried on your both began to relax but neither of you said anything, watching the movie in utter silence.

a sudden strong wave of drowsiness hit you, this was probably the first time all week you had actually managed to unwind and just sit and watch a movie and do nothing at all.

you slumped a little in your seat your head lolling to the side and eventually meeting with ushijimas shoulder, just as you were about to force your head back up you felt him shift, relaxing just a little and moving so his arm was wrapped around you and your head was resting on his chest. surely this should have been a weird predicament but it actually felt right.

just as you were about to drift into sleep that’s when you realised you were really falling in love with ushijima wakatoshi.

[eunandonly]

⟡ ⸻ dandelion

riki x fem. reader | friendship and love blossoms between you and riki in the seemingly dull hospital ward

genre. friends to lovers, fluff, ANGST | warnings: angst, mention of illness, major character death, heavy topics, set in a hospital, incorrect medical terms | wc. 2k EN-

you and riki first met on the hospital rooftop.

it had been one of the rare days the doctors allowed you to go up there, deeming the fresh air as “good for you”. it had been such a nice warm night, the perfect weather for you to stare at the flickering lights of the city and passing cars. you found it interesting, perhaps a little bit sad even, to know that you seemed to be the only one stuck in time and unable to move forward with your life. the world went on and left you behind, the gap between you and the others only growing larger and larger. the dreams you had once had were now out of reach.

because you had just six months left to live, and six months wasn’t at all a long time once you thought about it.

and so you had been standing at the rooftop, lost in your own thoughts when riki joined you. you hadn’t seen him before; he was new to the hospital and freshly admitted. you two hadn’t exchanged much words at first, letting the silence speak for itself. just the presence of riki was comforting to you. someone your age that was also stuck in the endless loop of hospital medications and consultations. someone stuck in time just like you as they watched the world leave them behind.

the first words spoken to each other were casual and light. a simple, “why are you also in this hellhole of a place?” and “what’s your opinion on doctor yun?”. the nurses moved you into the same ward the moment they saw you conversing. they found your unexpected friendship sweet, and some of them even gushed about young love.

***

“do you ever feel scared?”

the question escapes your lips before you know it as you’re strolling around the garden. it’s a question that’s always been lingering deep inside you, simmering just below the surface. you try not to bring these things up when you’re with riki, choosing lighter and easier topics to talk about. laughter can always be heard when you two are together even though the circumstances are dire and seemingly hopeless. you are both slowly and surely dying, succumbing to your illness despite the days and months and years spent telling yourselves that everything would be fine and that a miracle would happen.

but it never works out like that, does it? once the doctor gives you a set time that you have left, that number is the only thing you can see when you close your eyes. the clock is ticking and it has no kindness or mercy to people like you and riki.

“scared?” riki asks, giving you a glance. “i don’t think i’m really all that afraid to be honest.”

“how?” you breathe, tilting your head up look him in the eye. you look for a sliver of fear or doubt in his eyes but find none.

“there’s nothing much to be scared about. it’s true, the time we have left is seemingly cold and mean, but we shouldn’t waste our precious time on such a negative feeling.”

you turn his answer over and over in your head, wondering just when you’ll stop being haunted by the thought of death being just around the corner.

***

it’s been over three months since you and riki met on the rooftop, and there’s no denying that there’s a subtle change in the air between you two. you wonder if he’s noticed as well . you definitely have. you would say something about it if you weren’t so scared- gosh why were you scared of everything? you were afraid of things changing between you and the thought of that alone made you feel a pang of loneliness.

it’s the little stuff: the way your eyes meet across the room when doctor yun goes into one of his lectures about the importance of staying still when you’re connected to an iv drip as you both try to stiffle your laughter. the concern that clouds his eyes on unrestful nights when you’re tossing and turning from the pain of it all. the endless patience he has for you.

it makes your heart skip a beat. a palpitation, that’s what doctor yun would probably say.

***

“riki, i told you i was going to win,” you say triumphantly as you put down your last uno card. “i’m way too good at this.”

you give riki a big smile and pick the card back up again to wave it in front of his face just to rub it in. you would do a little celebratory dance if it weren’t for the multiple tubes connected to you and strict orders from the nurse not to move too much.

“it was just this once.” riki says, rolling his eyes playfully. he looks at you with so much tenderness and endearment that you’re convinced for just a second that he likes you back.

his look alone makes a flush creep up your too-pale cheeks, and you have to turn your head away to hide your flustered face.

he’s so pretty when he smiles.

when you look back at him, it’s just too much. you reach out to sweep the hair out of his face, your fingers running through the soft strands before you drop your arm to your side.

“sorry.” you mumble, your face hot.

riki just grins, the corner of his eyes crinkling. “it’s okay, i don’t mind.”

as you stare at his face, you’re left with a sudden pang in your chest that leaves you breathless.

you love him so much. six months with him isn’t enough.

‘y/n,” riki says, touching your arm gently. “you okay?”

you smile, hoping it looks reassuring when it just hurts your face. “yeah, i’m okay.”

you take a moment to look out the window of the room, dozens of thoughts crossing your mind. there’s something precious about this moment, something so very special. you’re scared to let it slip through your fingers and disappear.

“riki,” you hum, eyes traveling to the heart monitor that’s mounted on the wall next to your bed. “what will i do without you.”

you can’t bear to think about riki leaving you behind just like everyone, and you can’t bear to think about leaving riki behind either. though it’s never been talked about, it feels like you two made a promise to stay by each other’s side no matter what.

“y/n, don’t go there right now, please.” riki says quietly, reaching out to hold your hand in his.

you take your gaze off the monitor and meet his eyes. “sorry. i won’t.”

riki eases back to rest his back, his fingers still intertwined with his. before you can say anything else, he gives you a fleeting peck on the cheek.

“I love you.”

you feel a tug in your heartstrings as you curl into his side and close your eyes.

“i love you too.”

***

you try to savour each and every day with riki as if it’s the last. some days you watch a film together in the ward or listen to music together. other days when the doctors allow you, you go up to the rooftop together and watch the constant motion of the city below. sometimes it’s just you and him curled up together and finding comfort in each other’s presence. though it’s all inside the premises of the hospital, riki still tells you that it’s a date.

strolls in the garden are rare but very much looked forward to, holding hands as you make a slow circle around the hospital building. everything you do with riki is precious and priceless. it’s at these moments you’re truly convinced that perhaps it is possible to stop time, pause the ticking clock during sweet conversations.

riki stops in the middle of the garden, bending down to pick something from the grass.

a dandelion.

“look,” he says, handing it to you by the stem. “this one hasn’t quite matured yet. it’s half yellow and half white.”

“it’s an in-between dandelion.” you comment, observing it carefully.

riki smiles. “yeah, an in-between dandelion.”

he gives you a soft kiss on the forehead.

“can i blow on the seeds?” you ask in his embrace, looking at the dandelion you’re clutching in your hand.

“go ahead.”

you give it a gentle blow, and both you and riki watch the seeds fly away in the warm breeze, traveling further and further away to who knows where.

you’re convinced that you can’t be any happier than you are now.

but nothing ever lasts.

***

you’re jolted awake from the commotion around you, and you shoot up from your bed.

there’s an overwhelming amount of doctors and nurses in the room, all shouting as they crowd around riki’s bed.

“COME ON, HIS BP IS DROPPING, GET A MOVE ON IT!”

panic starts to set in. you’ve been in the hospital long enough to know that when there’s screaming of doctors and chaos in the ward as they yell about a dropping bp, nothing good is going on.

you scramble out of bed, not caring about the tubes that cling to you. all that matters now is riki and the doctors. you rush towards riki’s bed, trying to see what’s going on.

“where’s riki? what’s wrong with him?” you ask, your breaths coming out short and quick. an alarm sounds in the room and the beeping of machines intensifies.

“HIS VITALS ARE DROPPING BRING ME THE-”

you can’t hear anymore, you can’t even see anymore. your vision’s turned cloudy as you try your best to see what’s going on. you know not to push through the doctors. they know what they’re doing. they know. they’ll make riki okay again.

they have to make him okay.

you’re acutely aware of yourself trembling as you listen to all the chaos. your hands are clasped together, praying for god to please save your best friend, the boy you love.

you don’t have anyone else.

“please, please, please,” you whisper feverishly, almost like a mantra. your hands are shaking and your head is pounding. and than suddenly there’s a nurse by your side holding your hands as she kneels on the floor in front of you.

you don’t pay attention to what she’s saying, endless pleadings escape your mouth as the room fills with loud beeping that makes you clench your eyes shut.

until it all

just

stops.

the doctors who had been in action just moments ago all still. the only sound being the never stopping beep of the machine that signals a straight line on the monitor.

and than everything is just falling

and falling

and falling.

***

it’s a month since everything happened now.

a month since he left, a month since he let go.

you’re standing in front of his memorial, holding a thick book to your chest as you stare at his name that’s been carved into the plaque.

“gosh riki, i miss you so much,” you whisper as you blink away the tears that are threatening to spill. riki wouldn’t want you to cry. he wouldn’t. “you don’t understand how much i miss you. i was selfish, i couldn’t let doctor yun announce-“

you take a deep breath. “i couldn’t let the doctor yun announce the time of death because i couldn’t let you go. i was determined to keep you by my side.”

you let out a little laugh, trying to smile despite the numbness of it all.

“but riki, i can feel it approaching,” you say as you open the book you’re cradling against your chest. “i think it won’t be long until i join you.”

you pluck out a dry pressed dandelion from the pages of the book. it’s the one riki gave you in the garden, the in-between one that you blew on. you place it on top of his plaque, a bittersweet smile playing on your lips.

“i’ll see you up there soon, and we’ll do everything we want together. just wait a little longer.”

“i love you.”

a/n: this one was a little more heavy compared to other works i’ve written. i hope you guys still enjoyed, please feel free to leave me any feedbacks!! i’m not sure if i’m satisfied about this fic, so i’m really sorry if it was kinda shit

[shadowtriovibes]

something wretched about this, something so precious about this

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x f!MC

Word Count: 3k

Rating: E

Warnings: 18+, aged-up characters, explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), PIV sex, language kink, parseltongue kink

Summary: request: "mc finds herself absolutely taken with Ominis and his parselmouth." aka mc is absolutely taken with ominis' mouth in every sense of the word

“But you don’t even understand what I’m saying,” he counters, curious. “N-no,” you whine. « I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it, sweetheart? » he hisses. « You’re a troublesome little thing, you hardly listen to me when you can understand. »

The first time you heard Ominis speak Parseltongue, you’d found it to be almost antithetical. It had sounded so bizarre coming out of his mouth, so different from the gentlemanly manner in which he most often spoke. Yet the strength of his snakelike voice sounded somehow familiar, and the way his sighing, hissing words wrapped around you felt like sinking into a warm bath.

“It worked!” you’d exclaimed, hoping your voice wasn’t trembling. “Ominis, you possess a rare ability indeed.”

Minutes later you’d writhed on the floor in unimaginable pain and all thoughts of Ominis’ potentially disreputable talent had flown from your mind. In fact, you’d been so rattled from being on the receiving end of the Cruciatus curse that it took several days for you to recall that you were no longer the sole member of your little trio with a rare gift.

A month later you’d asked Sebastian about it while you were studying for Charms, lazily levitating stacks of books while he had been pouring over Salazar Slytherin’s spellbook.

“What does being a Parselmouth mean?” you asked him curiously.

“Means you can talk to snakes,” he replied, half listening. “Understand them, too.”

You rolled your eyes. “I know that, thanks.”

Sebastian looked up from his book with a skeptical expression on his face. “Then what exactly are you asking?”

You shrug, avoiding his eyes. “I don’t know, I just… Ominis made it sound like it was a bad thing, to be known as a Parselmouth. Like it’s given him a bad reputation. Why is that?”

Carefully closing his spellbook, Sebastian sits back and considers his words carefully before continuing.

“Well, the answer to that is right in front of you,” he says, gesturing to the tattered book on the table before him. “As Ominis said, most Parselmouths are direct descendants of Salazar Slytherin, and whether it’s warranted or not, he’s a controversial figure.”

“Sure,” you agree. “But… does Ominis speak Parseltongue much? How would anyone even know?”

“I think most people just assume,” Sebastian replies with a shrug. “His brothers spoke it, and he’s told me that they speak it more regularly at his home. Many Gaunts have chosen to keep a snake rather than an owl or any sort of conventional animal.”

You nod slowly. “Have you heard him speak it before that night in the Scriptorium?”

“A handful of times,” he admits. “Sometimes he’ll slip up if he’s especially angry or frustrated. I’ve also heard him speaking it in his sleep on occasion.”

Eventually, the conversation shifts to the spellbook and you once again forget about Ominis’ rare skill – this time for nearly two years.

By your seventh year, Ominis has learned about your ancient magic abilities, and your friendship has grown from one of rueful kinship to genuine affection. Nevertheless, he still seems to keep so much of himself guarded, even as you’ve shared so many of your worries and insecurities as you’ve grown into your role as the only living Keeper of your ability.

(It doesn’t help that you’ve fallen achingly in love with him along the way.)

These days you spend most nights studying with him and Sebastian. Usually, you’re eager to soak up the years of knowledge they’d accrued before you’d started school at Hogwarts, but tonight you find yourself distracted.

“Are you listening to me?” Ominis suddenly snaps, and you glance up from where you’d been reading the same paragraph over and over.

Ominis looks annoyed, and to his point, you certainly hadn’t been listening. You’ve both been sprawled out on the floor of the Undercroft for hours now revising for Potions. Sebastian had called it a night shortly before dinner, leaving the two of you to continue pouring over theory textbooks in preparation for Professor Sharp’s famously lethal end-of-term exams.

“Y-yes, sorry,” you stutter. “What were you saying?”

In your defense, winter has arrived in the Highlands and the stone floor of Ominis’ hideaway has cooled you to the bone. The weak flame flickering beneath your shared cauldron isn’t enough to pull you out of your daydreams about a nice warm bed, some cozy blankets, and perhaps someone to share it with…

(Someone who can whisper secret serpentine words against your skin, chasing your goosebumps lower and lower beneath the covers…)

“Again?” Ominis asks, more disappointed than angry this time. “You can’t focus on my words for a full minute before slipping into some reverie?”

Merlin, if only he knew that focusing on his words wasn’t the problem at all.

“I’m sorry, Ominis,” you whine. “But it’s getting late, it’s freezing down here, and we missed dinner…”

“You said you’d help me,” he reminds you, perhaps a bit vulnerably. “The exam is tomorrow afternoon, and my Draught of Living Death is still curdling.”

You groan pathetically and rub your eyes. “Ominis, you’re a dear friend, and I simply adore you, but you’re bloody rubbish at Potions. Perhaps we should take a break for the night.”

Ominis’ jaw clenches while he stirs his (admittedly lumpy-looking) brew.

“Ominis?” you ask hesitantly. “...I apologize if I was harsh, but–”

“Don’t,” he interjects. “Just… stop talking. Clearly, you’re no longer interested in helping me, so you might as well go back to your common room for the night.”

Sighing, you shift closer to where he sits cross-legged on the stone floor and gently rest a hand on top of his knee. You know how challenging Potions has been for him, especially lately; N.E.W.T.-level draughts are challenging enough when one can confirm that the brew they’ve already spent hours preparing has progressed to the appropriate color.

“I think you need to take a break,” you say softly. “You’re making yourself too frustrated, Ominis.”

You watch as a bit of the tension he’d been carrying in his shoulders seeps away as his head hangs gently. As his fingers nervously twitch in his lap, he takes a slow, measured breath and lets his eyes fall closed.

« I need to do this correctly, even just once, » he says. « Then I’ll be able to sleep. »

You suspect he doesn’t even realize he hadn’t spoken English until you sharply pull your hand back with a gasp.

“Wh-what… did I, um,” he stammers. “I didn’t… say that the proper way, did I?”

“Well, er – you hissed it,” you say carefully. “That… that was Parseltongue again, wasn’t it?”

Ominis carefully nods. Your stomach clenches when you notice him hunch in on himself as if he’s ashamed of what he’s done.

“It’s okay!” you quickly tell him. “I, um. I haven’t heard you speak Parseltongue since fifth year, and – and I don’t understand it, obviously, b-but it’s alright if you want to use it.”

You trail off lamely and try to rest your hand on his knee once more, but he nudges it away.

“I apologize,” he says hollowly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

A wave of nausea rolls over you as you watch him duck his face and turn away from you – not so that he can’t see you, mind, but that you won’t see him.

“Omins,” you sigh. “Please, you – you haven’t scared me, I promise you.”

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he counters in a deceptively soft voice. “I can tell, you know. Your heart is racing, you’ve gone warm all over… You want to run away. It’s only natural, when one is frightened. I would know.”

You swallow audibly and once more attempt to rest your hand on his thigh, and this time he allows you.

“I’m not scared,” you insist, and as true as your words are, you almost wish you were lying to him.

You think it’s probably less shameful than the truth, which is that Ominis’ brief Parseltongue outburst has your heart racing with desire, not fear.

“Then why…?” he asks before eventually trailing off.

“I find it fascinating,” you tell him softly as you trace your fingertips along the seam of his trousers. “It’s… compelling, Ominis. Perhaps a bit enticing.”

“Enticing?” he repeats softly. “You feel, er.. compelled by my Parseltongue?”

You shyly shrug before remembering a non-verbal answer won’t suffice. “I suppose I do.”

The both of you are silent for several long moments. The only sound that can be heard in the Undercroft is Ominis’ sickly bubbling potion, until he finally asks you, “May I kiss you?”

You hesitate for merely a beat, just to let your mind catch up, but before you can answer Ominis repeats himself in Parseltongue: « May I kiss you? »

This time, your non-verbal answer of crawling astride his lap and kissing him yourself is entirely sufficient.

Ominis moans into your mouth while you grab the lapels of his uniform shirt, brazenly rocking against his lap like one of those wanton witches in Sebastian’s rather foul romance novels. His hands settle on your hips and he helps you grind down onto him until you can feel for yourself where he’s grown hard.

“Wh-what are we doing?” he asks against your lips.

He doesn’t sound scandalized, or even hesitant – rather, he sounds like he’s asking how much you’re going to let him get away with.

“Whatever we want,” you answer him breathlessly. “Ominis, I – I’ve wanted this for so long, we’ll do whatever you want.”

« Whatever I want? » he hisses, and you shiver in his lap. « What I want is to get you on your back for me, sweet girl. »

Carefully, Ominis tips you from his lap back onto the freezing tile, but just as quickly he gently pushes your shoulders back until you’re sprawled out on some abandoned Potions notes. Your skirt falls halfway up your legs and Ominis traces his fingertips along your skin until he finds the hem.

« Spread your legs for me, my love, » he hisses, sliding his hands up the insides of your thighs. « Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you here? »

His unseeing eyes flutter closed as his fingertips brush against the hem of your undergarments. You’re wet – you have been since he’d first slipped into those low, hissing tones of his – but now he knows it. He can feel it.

“Gods,” he groans. “You.. you really like to hear my Parseltongue this much?”

“It’s your voice,” you whimper, grinding your hips toward his teasing fingertips. “You… you sound different.”

“Tell me,” he demands. “How do I sound?”

Realizing that he likely sounds the same to his own ears even when speaking the ancient snake language, you bite your lip and force yourself to focus.

“You – you sound powerful,” you admit. “Like your voice is stronger, or… it’s like I can hear it in my whole body, not just my ears.”

Ominis wordlessly rewards you by firmly dragging his thumb down the length of your core through your panties. You melt into his touch; your skin feels as if it’s on fire now, and the very same icy stone floors you’d complained about not long ago now feel like a soothing balm against your skin.

“But you don’t even understand what I’m saying,” he counters, curious.

“N-no,” you whine.

« I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it, sweetheart? » he hisses. « You’re a troublesome little thing, you hardly listen to me when you can understand. »

You whimper and arch your back. “I m-might not understand Parseltongue, but I can tell when you’re teasing me.”

“Darling, I’ve barely begun to tease you,” he murmurs before leaning down and licking up the length of your body from your navel to the dip between your collarbones.

“Please, Ominis,” you beg.

« You’ve been distracting me all evening, » he continues. « I fully intend to have just as much fun playing with you, since you seem to enjoy driving me mad. »

While he kisses what’s sure to be an impressive bruise onto the side of your neck, Ominis slides your panties down your legs.

“I want you inside me,” you confess.

« You want the first time I take you to be on this dirty stone floor? » he asks lazily. « Are you that desperate to be fucked, sweetheart, or have I made you wait too long and driven you mad? »

You groan frustratedly as he starts to kiss his way down your body, pointedly ignoring your canting hips. “Ominis, I’m begging, please say you’ll touch me.”

Ominis presses a wet, open-mouthed kiss against your hipbone. « Don’t fret, my love. How could I refuse such a tempting offer from such a beautiful, albeit slightly mad woman? »

By the time he traces the tip of his tongue along the crease of your hip, you realize where he’s headed. An irreverent array of babble spills from your lips while you attempt to grind impossibly closer to his face, but he places his hands over your hips and keeps you firmly planted against the stone floor before he presses his tongue flat against your cunt.

If he were still speaking Parseltongue into your skin, you’d never know. Any words of praise or kindly teasing that spilled from his lips were drowned out by a litany of curses you’d never utter in front of a man like Ominis in any other setting.

“That’s it, my lovely girl,” he whispers against the inside of your thigh. « Your cunt is so wet for my tongue, and it’s even sweeter than you are. »

He’s switching between English and Parseltongue so easily that you can’t be sure he’s even doing it on purpose anymore, and you couldn’t possibly say which you prefer more. Being fully aware of every filthy word he says is a dream, but is it as delicious as not knowing what he’s saying as he utters secret confessions inches from your skin?

You don’t bother spending much time considering it while you lie back and let him lick you open. All you can think about is his tongue on your skin, pushing inside you, savoring every inch of your body while he learns you by touch and by taste.

That’s what he’s doing, after all – learning you. He’ll get you off, of course he will, but that’s not why he’s bent over between your legs with your calves thrown over his shoulder.

“Ominis,” you groan. “I need you in me, I… I need you.”

He presses a deceptively sweet kiss to your sensitive clit before he asks, “Is that so? I thought you liked my Tongue, and now it’s not enough for you?”

“Don’t tease me,” you plead. “I know you want me just as badly.”

While Ominis had been coming up for air between burying his face between his thighs, you’d been able to see just how affected he is – you aren’t alone in your eagerness, you can be sure of it.

« Right as always, you are, » he hisses. « Perhaps you don’t understand my words, but you can sense my desire, can’t you? »

He grinds his hard cock against your inner thigh to punctuate his words and you whine pathetically.

“Take me, take me, take me,” you chant while he sits back to undo his trousers and push them down just enough to free himself. You realize he intends to stay fully clothed while he takes you apart, and you shiver against the cold floor.

When he finally sinks inside, you fall helplessly silent.

Every ounce of focus you have is spent on relaxing your body, opening up for him as he buries himself inside you. He’s almost ruthless in his endeavor to fully seat himself in you despite his intimidating length. Save a few breathless not-quite-whines, you’re quiet beneath him.

« Nothing to say, darling? » he hisses at first, and then in a softer voice he asks, “Are you alright? Am I hurting you?”

“N-no, it’s good,” you moan. “Please… keep talking to me.”

“You want me to talk to you, hm?” he asks, grinding in until the flat part of his pelvis brushes against yours. « Do you need a distraction? You’re taking me so well, my angel. »

He starts to fuck you in earnest with a slow, careful rhythm to keep your bare skin from catching along the worn stones beneath your back. As he thrusts inside you, he keeps talking in that low, hissing tone. Soon you realize even his words match the rhythm of his body, rising and falling with his motions.

« Feels so good… Waited so long… I can’t stop, please don’t ask me to stop… »

His back feels feverishly warm to the touch while you drag your hands down from his shoulder blades to the back of his hips. In the years since you’d first heard the snakeline sound of Parseltongue fall from his lips, he’s grown taller and his musculature has changed into that of a lithe, well-built man. Now the strength of that voice suits the body from which it emanates, and both have combined to keep you firmly pinned to the floor beneath their might.

You cling to him as he fucks you harder. You feel so close already, tumbling toward the edge of pleasure beneath him as his serpentine words glide across your skin.

When you come around him, you hear him whisper your name in Parseltongue – it’s the same, you think, but softer, and sweeter.

« When I come inside you, » he hisses just above a whisper. « I want you to keep every last drop inside for me. Will you, my darling? »

“Ominis!” you wail.

“Fuck – fuck,” he gasps, and seconds later you feel the mess he's made inside you threaten to spill out with every slow, greedy thrust in his post-orgasmic haze.

“N-no, stop,” you whimper, and he immediately goes still.

“What is it?” he asks, his English crisp and clear.

You shift shyly beneath him and whisper, “Don’t… don’t keep going. I want to keep it inside for now, and – and when you move, it, um…”

Merlin, you don’t have the words to say you’re just as greedy as he is – you want to stay full of him, just as he’d asked in that ancient, indecipherable tongue.

Ominis presses soothing kisses to your face while you wrap your legs around his waist to hold him in place. His lips brush across your cheeks, the bridge of your nose, the curve of your jaw.

“Of course, darling,” he whispers. “I’ll stay right here.”

Then, with his lips pressed to yours, he hisses, « I’ll stay right here as long as you like. »

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Bit Slow

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2025 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - Okay, that bit where Jun tells Po not to “get carried away” did you notice Jun's particle use? He went informal/intimate with an elder AND he also went slightly queer coded - illustrating he knows Po is gay. Interesting, slightly rude, and confrontational choice. I like Jun less because of it.

Frankly speaking, I'd rather a rap battle than sing-off but I still fast forwarded the rap (I muted the singing). Not sorry.

The bit where the 2 of them are talking for hours was the most realistic portrayal of a budding romantic relationship I’ve ever seen in a BL. Virginia Woolf was an interesting choice.

Your Sky AKA How to Train Your Seme (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - Fah is so sweet. He’s terrible at talking but he’s always trying to communicate with Rak anyway. I love that for them, and us. Rak's confession to his friends scene was so adorable. I love this friendship group a lot. Thomas’s English is v good, also I kinda love his parents. Still the mains were apart for most of this ep so it fell in the standings.

Sangmin Dinneaw (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - Oh my goodness aren’t these 2 pretty? What a fun little show. I am enjoying it so far. I really like that Sangmin is actually bilingual. Or at least has the appearance of being so. This feels a lot stronger to start than any of the other co-country BLs I've seen.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 14 of 16 - They cute. I remain a little concerned that North is so easygoing that he got railed into this relationship (literally and figuratively). His body language indicates he’s not super into Johan, so with these 2 I’m often thinking about peer pressure.

North didn’t keep that gear for very long, did he? I would’ve loved it if the twist was just that North was secretly a genius. He aced all of his tests, and was lazy because he wasn’t being challenged.

Gamer side couple are bothering me, now that there’s catfishing involved. 

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Why am I now thinking of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the child catcher with these bad guys?

Again I found myself largely bored. I’m beginning to think this show could’ve been cut down by at least 2 eps.

For linguistic cuteness, did you notice Sun & Junior use rao/ter? SO ADORABLE!

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 10 of 24 - I like Santa and Perth’s chemistry more than I thought I would. The brothers' bickering and tension is interesting, are they all adopted or meant to be actual bothers? Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go.

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - no episode this week because of New Year’s.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 12 of 13 - "Happiness came so fast I couldn't think about how long it would last" could be the statement for every penultimate BL episode ever. This main couple is just so gorgeously wonderful and precious and lovely. What a way to execute the Adams apple fetish.

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - Just so painful. "You've always been alone." These characters are so casually cruel to each other. And, of course, the running of the gays! 

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 12 - I am growing to love that little push-up of the glasses that he does. Sex herb trope continues to be v amusing. Nice to see Ever 9 again! We got backstory for our poor little damaged rich boy, very soap opera. I am more interested in Ever 4's backstory tbh. Uh oh the glasses came off.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 14 of ? - Well at least something happened and things finally came to a head (or "a body" as the case may be). Will we continue with any kind of progression next week? I hope so.

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai ???) - has been picked up to air on WeTV, or something? Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. It is very pulp but intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them. But sometimes they do good.

In Case You Missed it

End of year wraps are here!

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Strange is doing a pretty interesting deep dive into Omegaverse et al. I particularly enjoyed this week's installment: Why Do Women Write So Much Gay Fanfiction?

I rarely (if ever) report on the gossip, BTS relationships, or sasang behavior of the fandoms but here is a 2024 retrospective from someone else if you want all the gossip and drama (YouTube). Or are afraid you missed something important.

Next Week Looks Like This:

2 ending, 2 starting.

January Drops

1/5 The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) 10 eps trailer - MAME warning. Multiverse slip through time kinda thing. Mame + high concept, we in for a bumpy ride. I should trash watch and live blog but I don't think I have the energy.

1/6 Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) 12 eps - WHY MUST THIS BE?!!

1/9 When it Rains it Pours (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Convoluted story about a man in a relationship who is sexually unfulfilled and his friend who is in love with him, who accidentally become secret confidants.

1/15 Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds ????) 9 eps - Same team as DNA Says Love You, so I have high hopes.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Yeah I got nothing for ya. It'd just be all ThamePo.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[layeredshirts]

If the other dorms ran businesses on campus, like the Mostro Lounge, what do you guys think would they be like? I honestly only have ideas for Hearts, Pomefiore, and Ignihyde.

Personally, I think Heartslabyul would run one of those trendy bookstores with a small cafe. Other students mainly use it as a library and rarely buy the books, but Trey's baked goods sell well enough to cover the cost of the books. Students are routinely collared however for trying to read the books while eating, dirtying the pages, and trying to put it back. You cannot ruin one of Riddle's books, despite being inventory he needs to sell, they're precious to him by virtue of being books. As punishment for breaking whatever rule, Riddle would make the first years, adeuce, stand outside the mirror chamber, sign spinning and handing out coupons. Cater uses his expertise on all things cozy to make sure it's aesthetic enough for candid magicam moments. It's great for date nights too, Cater plays his mellow music there and sells CDs.

Pomefiore operates a day spa, and none of them are licensed or qualified to do the treatments they offer. But... they're just so damn good at them. While it makes sense that Vil would approve a spa for it's beauty treatments, he's a huge proponent of relaxation. They offer the typical spa happenings- seaweed wraps, mudbaths, massages etc. but with the added bonus that it might run into a celebrity. Because Vil, world class model and actor, technically is the owner as the dorm leader, it's much more popular than any other spa on sage's island. People line up down the block for a chance to take a picture of Vil, who's always tugging at his uniform, trying to make it more flattering. Why do they have to wear scrubs? It's not like they're nurses or anything 😒. He would run the spa with an iron fist, making sure everyone is on task. Epel is his successor, but he gets in trouble for playing in the supplies and making a mess. He's also not good for cleaning, or being delicate with the customers, and he doesn't have a head for business that doesn't involve apples... But he's really good at small talk and is endlessly optimistic. Rook doesn't go often, the spa is too fragent for his liking. When he is there, his over the top, intimate nature freaks the other students out. How do you expect them to feel comfortable taking a bath while Rook Hunt is reciting poetry about them outside the door? He's always muttering his unique magic name too... "I see you." Okay.

Ignihyde students run an internet cafe, with a heavy emphasis on internet. All of the food comes out of vending machines; the selling point is Ignihyde's servers, connection speeds, and cutting edge technology. Idia seems to always have something before it’s even available to buy. When he receives “normie” gadgets from his parents at STYX, he generously donates it to the cafe. His setup is already complete, no one adds anything to it besides him. Idia is extremely hands off with the equipment and business side of it, leaving it mainly to Ortho to oversee. Idia does suggest, every now and again, that cats might bring in more guests, and cat cafes are trendy and real. No dice, Ortho doesn't want them stepped on by clumsy first years, stomping around in VR headsets. Ortho would agree to other friendship building activities however, like trivia nights and karaoke. They're all perplexed by Ortho's trivia night win streak until Idia remembers that, while he is his little brother, he's still a walking computer connected to the internet at all times. He has to force him to sit out. I think, because he’s an otaku, they would also sell cute merch! :) Ortho’s in charge of ordering the merchandise, so it’s genuinely a surprise for Idia when the cutest Premo stickers come in.

[drdemonprince]

Kink/autism question, I have a close friend who often comes to the same kink events/markets/play parties as me and my polycule. I have a very subby/degradee dynamic with my polycule and this friend has picked up on that and has started adding her own interjections, calling me a little bug, holding my leash, and referring to herself as the "queer-platonic cousin of your leather family".

I've asked my friend if she'd be interested in any play and she's said no, and while I'm fairly attracted to her she doesn't seem to be attracted to me. I have no qualms with this, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

That being said, I enjoy degradation and submission with my polycule because I know they're all attracted to me and love me dearly, and they do it because it's fun for all of us. When my friend does those same things, it kinda stings because I know she's also not attracted to me, and it just feels insulting. We also do a lot of work together in uni and she makes references to my kink dynamics in situations that aren't super comfortable for me (I'd prefer to keep my school life and kink life VERY separate). Sometimes when we're at our local sex club together she'll come into the room and start having a conversation with me about school while my wife is literally inside of me.

Do you have any advice on how I can communicate to her that I really enjoy her friendship and I'm glad to have a kinky buddy and talk about our respective relationships, but I don't like how she's injecting herself into my dynamic? I'm certain that she's not trying to be mean-spirited, but the fact that it's coming from a friend and not a partner makes the teasing feel a bit icky to me. She's had a rough year and I don't want to alienate her, and we're both not very good at social cues. I usually laugh it off but it's starting to wear on me.

I can kind of understand how your friend got her wires crossed here -- she probably thinks that by saying degrading things to you she is being playful and affectionate in a way she knows you like; she might even think she is doing you a kindness by giving you some of the dynamic you enjoy, despite not being sexually interested in you enough to want to take it further. But it's backfiring, and coming across as if knowing you're into degradation has given her the excuse to be a little bit mean and undermining.

Between that, the random attempts to initiate school-talk while you're getting fucked, and not being discrete about your kink life around others, there is a clear over-arching problem here with your friend: she doesn't see your kink life as a precious, carefully guarded part of you that should be handled gently and only by certain people.

For your friend, it seems that kink, friendship, school, and day-to-day life can all slosh up against one another, without firmly defined boundaries, and the presence of one in the place of another is not a problem. That can be fine for her, and it is for some people! But it's not how you feel.

And really the only way to fix this is with communication.

I think the best way to start is to explain to your friend how you feel about your kink life, and why you draw boundaries around it. Something like,

"My kinky side is very precious and private to me, and it's only something I want to share with my partners. "I love that you are supportive and understanding of my kinks as a kinky person yourself, and that we can bond over kink as friends. [ONLY SAY THIS IF IT'S TRUE.] "But when you use degrading terms for me, or start talking about my kinks when we're in vanilla spaces, you're taking my sexual life outside of that private realm and into a more public one where I don't want it to be. I also find it jarring when we're at the dungeon together and you suddenly start trying to talk to me about school or vanilla-life things. I go there to try and escape that regular-life headspace. "I keep these worlds separate and I hope you can help me in drawing that line. I'm okay with [talking about kink when we are at the club/sharing kinky spaces together -- say what is true for you here] but I don't express that side of myself in public, at school, or with people who aren't my partners."

Your friend will probably feel a bit embarrassed to learn that she's been making you uncomfortable all this time, so she might act awkwardly about it at first. Just give her some space to process that on her own -- it's not your job to make her feel better about the fact that she made you feel bad. Just continue to be friendly while maintaining boundaries between your kink and vanilla lives.

If she crosses a boundary again, remind her of your limits in the moment:

"I don't want to be called a gutterslut by non-partners, okay?"

"This isn't a subject for right now."

"I don't want to talk about that here."

Comments like that. If she continues crossing boundaries in spite of repeated reminders and clarifications, then you will have to think about what steps you'll take to maintain the boundary yourself. This could include anything from no longer speaking to her at the dungeon, walking away from unwanted conversations, not inviting her to gatherings with your polycule where a lot of open degradation occurs, asking a dungeon attendant to prevent her from approaching you during a scene, and making remarks that turn the attention back on her if she tries airing out details about your kinks in front of strangers.

That your friend has had a rough year is immaterial on the question of whether you get to have the boundaries that you have. You are not doing anything to harm her or the relationship by articulating what you need, and she chooses to ignore your boundaries once you've stated them explicitly, any tension that introduces to the friendship will fall on her.

[ponderingmoonlight]

I LOVED the jjk men sharing a bed! How would they react if their confident s/o suddenly turned shy because of this compliment? Bonus points if they (jjk men) don't express their love verbally much and also a little shy. So, how about Yuuta, Geto and Megumi? If you write more, can you also maybe add Gojo? Thank you so much!

Please forgive me for not adding Gojo, the Megumi part just escalated too quickly and since I'm having a little bit of a Gojo addiction, one fanfic without him won't hurt 🤍 Let me know what you think!

JJK men turning the usual confident reader shy

Pairings: Yuta x reader; Geto x reader; Megumi x reader (fem is mentioned)

Warnings: tw for Megumi's part regarding body image (contains insults), reader doubts herself

Yuta Okkotsu

You look absolutely neck breaking gorgeous in your summer dress, body hugged in just the right spots. How is this the first time Yuta has ever seen you in something apart from your uniform? Unbelievable, how unacceptable.

“Hey Yuta! Do you even recognize me?”

Your sweet voice rings through his head while you wave at him with your breathtaking smile plastered on your face. Oh, he is definitely recognizing you.

He can feel his face heat up immediately as you start walking towards him, your partially exposed legs moving so elegant that he can feel his knees go weak. Of course he was always very aware of the fact that you are a striking beautiful person, but that summer dress does things to him he can’t quite comprehend.

“Pretty unusual to see me in something else than that uniform, huh? I thought that a change of scenery doesn’t hurt and it’s my day off”, you explain briefly with your firm but tender voice.

Pure confidence is dripping from your features, it’s like you know that the world belongs to you. Well, his world does in fact. And at the moment it feels like this world spins a thousand times faster than usual.

“You look like an angel.”

The second the words slip out of his tongue, he knows that he’s fucked. Yuta never complimented you, always admired you in silence. Why did this stupid words leave his mouth? You must think he’s a freak, that he’s a disgusting pervert-

“W-what?”, you stutter.

His eyes dart towards you in surprise. There you stand, completely flustered with your cheeks redden and eyes widen in a way Yuta has never seen before. Your usual composed facial features are completely screwed up, your hand covers your mouth in a desperate attempt to hide your…embarrassment.

Are you actually shy because he complimented you?

“I’m so sorry, (y/n)! I didn’t mean to irritate you”, he babbles out.

Oh, he screwed up. You’ll probably never talk to him again, he ruined not only your friendship, but made you feel uncomfortable too. But you are so precious, how was he supposed to contain himself when you come here on this lovely summer day, looking absolutely stunning in that dress?

“I…It’s just…I guess no one ever said something so genuinely nice to me”, you mutter.

You know by the glitter of purity in his wide-open orbs that Yuta truly meant what he said. But that something so nice would come out his mouth…Of course this wasn’t the first compliment you ever got, but oh how sweet it was. Not only was his lovelier than any before, but it came from him.

Yuta. The boy you’ve been admiring since he joined Jujutsu High. The boy you’ve always thought saw nothing but an ordinary girl in you.

“That’s a shame. Honestly, I thing you are one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. Not only externally, but everything about you.”

“Stop”, you hush, hiding your face behind your hands while grinning like an idiot.

Suddenly, you feel as insecure as never before, completely thrown off track by his words. It is a little ridiculous to be honest. After all, Yuta is a nice boy and his words were simple. But you can’t remember a single time he ever complimented your looks. Basically everyone else did, whether Gojo, Panda or even Megumi. But Yuta…hearing those sweet words from Yuta’s mouth is something completely different and forces even your confident walls down.

“I’m so sorry if I made you feel bad”, Yuta apologizes.

“Feel bad? I think I never felt so good in my whole life. You are just so…sweet. Thank you.”

Your words catch him off guard and make his very own cheeks redden in an instant. You just called him sweet. (y/n), the girl he always turns his head for, the girl that lingers through his mind all day, just called him sweet.

“Uh…Thank you, (y/n)”, he mutters, heart almost beating out of his chest.

“Hey, would you mind to…To grab something to eat with me?”, you questions shyly while mindlessly tucking a strand of behind your ear.

“Yeah…sure! Let’s go!”

What an absolutely stunning way to start a day. With a new summer dress, a compliment of none other than Yuta and him by your side.

Suguru Geto

He can’t help but stare at you while you tear apart your teacher with nothing but logical arguments. It is threatening and scary to be honest, the way you carry yourself with so much pride and wisdom in your eyes. But Geto is just so mesmerized by the way your beautiful mouth works wonders, leaving everyone in the room in complete silence – even Satoru.

“You’re absolutely annoying, (y/n). But fine. We’ll do it your way, then. Now get off my sight”, Masamichi Yaga hums, rubbing his temples in complete annoyance.

With a curt bow you leave the classroom, a relieved smile plastered on your features. He doesn’t know what got into him, but the second your hair waves a last goodbye, he stands up and follows you down the hallway.

“Hey, (y/n)!”

“Oh, Geto, how nice to see you! Are you doing well? I heard your last mission was quite difficult to handle.”

There you stand with your piercing gaze darted towards him, gun of a mouth draped into a gentle smile. God, why do you have to be so gorgeous? Why is it so hard for him to keep his composure whenever you’re around? You’re just so damn strong, confidence dripping from every pore of your skilled self. Geto admired you the second you joined Jujutsu High, the first time you outsmarted Satoru and your words of wisdom that helped all of them through tough missions over and over. While he doesn’t consider himself an introvert, your presence always made his knees go weak, heart beating out of his chest. Geto tried to stay professional, to ignore the stinging presence of your striking looks and brain, but today…Today he can’t contain himself anymore.

“You’re really making a difference, (y/n). You know that?”

Your heart stops for a second, eyes widen in disbelief. You are known for your arguments and tactical skills, but Geto’s words… His oh so sweet words repeat themselves over and over again in your head. Someone might think you heard praises on a daily basis, whenever about your looks or your brain. But no. Nobody has actually told you that you matter, than your impact is really making a difference. Especially hearing this from Geto’s mouth, who’s an outstanding jujutsu sorcerer and never really complimented you in any way makes your heart drop.

“Do you…really mean it?”

Why is your voice suddenly so quiet and fragile? And why the hell are tears starting to sting in your eyes? You never cry, after all weeping doesn’t solve any problems. But his words aren’t just a random compliment, they touched your soul and filled you with love.

“Of course I mean it…I should have told you way sooner, but I really admire you. I don’t want to imagine where we would be without you…Where I would be without you. I just thought that you should know that…”

And there it is, his signature smile. The smile that could end wars with how welcoming it is.

“I didn’t know that I needed to hear something like this”, you mutter while whipping your now falling tears away with your sleeve.

Geto stops in his tracks, arms embracing you in a tight hug before he is able to stop himself.

“Don’t cry because of a simple compliment that was long overdue. I should have told you that way sooner. To be exact, every one of us should do that”, he whispers softly.

“Thank you Geto. I will always think of you when I’m doubting myself”, you sniffle, avoiding his gaze at any cost.

God, how embarrassing. But what a sweet moment this is at the same time. After all, Geto doesn’t compliment and hold you in his arms on a regular basis.

Megumi Fushiguro

It was never your style to cry about anything or anyone. But his words. His cruel words repeat themselves over and over inside your head.

I always thought you’re a little ugly anyway.

Maybe lose some weight before you talk to me again.

C’mon (y/n), she’s just prettier than you.

You should have known better. You should have known that your now ex-boyfriend means nothing but trouble, that he was never really in love and spit his venomous words exclusively to hit you where it hurts.

But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re sitting on the stairs on this lovely summer day while crying your eyes out. Maybe you really aren’t good enough. Your nose is too big, your eyes are too small, your face is a little too round to be lovely. And your body. God, at the moment you truly hate the way your own frame looks.

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you here, (y/n).”

Your body tenses up immediately while you try to wipe away your falling tears, hiding your face in sheer embarrassment. No, what on earth is Megumi Fushiguro doing here right now? You definitely don’t want him to see you cry, to admit that your ex was trash like he always said.

“Are you alright?”

His nearing footsteps vibrate through the stairs, making you fall into panic mode in an instant. No, please. You really want to be alone right now, you-

“Hey, what happened?”, his soft voice questions.

His long legs come to a stand to your left.

“None of your business, Fushiguro. I’m not in the mood to get picked at by you”, you mumble.

The second he sits down next to you, you immediately turn your body away from him. No way in hell is he seeing you cry today.

“To get picked at by me? You should know me better, (y/n). I can see clearly that you aren’t fine”, he responses, his tone showing his disappointment without a glimpse in his dark blue orbs.

Your eyes begin to water again at the sound of his voice.

“It seems like all I am is a disappointment these days I guess.”

He shifts his weight beside you, body drawing closer to yours. You are such a confident and outgoing person, it doesn’t suit you at all to sit on the stairs and cry. Something that really hurt must have happened. His features darken, hands balling into fists. Oh, he knows exactly what has happened.

“Did he say that, (y/n)? Did your boyfriend say such things to you?”

Megumi really tries to stay calm, to let his voice sound soft and unbothered, but he really wants to punch this jerk right now. It seems like he never really understood what a breathtaking gorgeous girl you are, that you could do so much better than this.

“He isn’t my boyfriend anymore”, you reply, your voice more bitter than you actually feel about that fact.

The relationship’s end isn’t what makes you feel this way. After all, you always knew that this was in no was a forever thing, that it was more like a pastime. But his cruel words simply leave you completely shattered, your heart scarred so deep that you can’t ignore it.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

You snort while side-eyeing Megumi.

“Sorry? Don’t be ridiculous. You never missed a chance to pick on me about him”, you comment dryly.

Oh, if you only knew. Megumi would never admit it, but he simply hated the idea of you having a boyfriend like him – a boyfriend who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve it when he could. Megumi would give you the world, he would carry you on his hands through every highs and lows.

But he would never admit that to you. Instead, he makes stupid comments about every little thing you do in a frantic attempt to keep himself together. Because if you ever catch a glimpse of his true feelings towards you, you’d probably never talk to him again.

“Might be true, but you’re feeling bad already.”

Not this time though. Not when you’re sitting next to him while being a complete mess, not when your puffy cheeks are proof enough than you sat here and cries for a while.

“You boys just never fail to hurt me I guess.”

“I would never hurt you”, he responses immediately, tongue faster than his mind.

Slowly, you turn your body to face him and his heart drops. You look nothing like yourself anymore, heartbroken in every way. What the hell happened?

“I couldn’t care less about the fact that he ended things. But I just feel like it was my fault partially. I guess I wasn’t attractive enough for him”, you mumble through your veil of tears.

Megumi can’t help but stare at you in disbelief. Did you really just say that? Did that jerk make you believe that you aren’t beautiful, that you aren’t worth his puny self? How ridiculous to even think that.

But he can tell by the hurt in your eyes that it must be true. Thick anger begins to rise inside Megumi.

“Did he say that, (y/n)? Did he say anything that implied that you’re not good looking?”, he asks with empty voice.

You cleverly avoid his gaze as you nod carefully. Megumi’s world stops for a moment. It’s so ridiculous, so unbelievable wrong for him that someone called the most beautiful human being on earth anything less than that.

“You have to be kidding, right? Because all I’m seeing is that you’re absolutely stunning. I could watch you for a lifetime, (y/n). You are so breathtaking that it hurts, everyone turns their heads after you. Don’t get me started on the way you are probably the only one that looks good in ratty pajamas, your stunning hair, well-formed hips or breathtaking eyes. For real, I’m convinced that all love songs have to be about you. Don’t let a jerk like him bring you down, don’t you dare to believe a single word of the bullshit he said, you heard me?”

He breathes heavy while all you can do is stare at him. No more tears fall from your cheeks, no more sniffles are heard. No, complete silence hangs between the two of you while Megumi immediately regrets his words. Maybe he took it too far, you must think that he’s a total freak for saying such things.

“Is this…really how you feel about me?”, you softly ask, your arms crossed in front of your chest.  

Fuck, your body immediately slips away a few inches, your hands feverishly playing with your hair. But something about your face changes. Is this a slight blush creeping up your puffy cheeks? And it almost looks like a small smile is forming on your delicate lips.

“I always felt that way about you, (y/n). Don’t think I’d made things up just to make you feel better”, he mutters while scratching his head.

“Oh”, you simply blur out while swallowing heavy.

Why the hell is he always acting this dumb when it comes to you? Megumi should know better, he is very aware of the fact that you and him will never be a thing, that he simply isn’t in your league. But now he probably ruined your friendship too.

Suddenly, your arms grip his tightly while you press your face against his shoulder. His heart drops into his pants, eyes wide open at this outburst. The two of you didn’t even share a hug until now.

“Thank you, Megumi. Your words mean the world to me”, you cry out, grabbing his arms even tighter than before.

Is he allowed to…touch you? Carefully, he places his hand on your back and begins to rub it in small circles.

“And you mean the world to me”, he speaks out, more to himself than to you.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 17 “all things” thoughts

i’m SO EXCITED to see what this episode brings!!

here is what i know: gillian wrote it, it’s buddhist-y, and there might be MSR? and also from the description, i see that we will be learning more about a scully ex, and she has fascinatingly terrible taste in men, so i’m excited to see what this brings 

no delay. let’s get started.

i’m READY.

(post episode thoughts: your girl, in fact, was NOT ready.

woah... there is so much to analyze and contemplate here, and i will be doing so for years to come, which is obviously very exciting. the first thing that stuck out to me after finishing the episode was that scully was severely taken advantage of by this predatory guy, and then i made a post to see if i was the only one who thought that, which sparked some good discussion. since i talked about it there, i'll try not to go too into depth here.

but. god. the way that we live our days is how we live our lives. and the looking into the past to realize what could have been and how things worked out now... gestures vaguely. I CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS, I JUST FEEL A MILLION EMOTIONS. this episode is about MSR being soulmates. about friendship and love and devotion. and realizing what you have is a gift, and that what could have been is unknowable, and dwelling on it is a rejection of the divine. and it is about opening yourself up to new connections. and lots of other things, too, that make this post incredibly long)

let's go

scully is here!!! putting on a shirt! fixing her hair. “time passes in moments… moments which, rushing past, define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. how rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed”

damn. that’s heavy. she's tossing on a jacket.

“but what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?”

why do i get the sense this episode is gonna alter my worldview forever…?

“might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? and, seeing those choices, choose another path?”

there’s a guy in her bed. actually, i don’t think it’s her bed. there’s a guy in a bed. MULDER!!!!! SLEEPY!!!!

INTRO TIME

OH BITCH…… what are the implications of that monologue with that imagery…. like... they hooked up and she’s upset about it??? wishing they had done it before??? or wishing it didn’t happen???

FUUUUCK.

(author's note: luckily, i rewatched the beginning after i finished the episode, and the opening monologue comes off a lot more peaceful and content knowing what happens beforehand rather than the angst you associate with it having seen just that imagery and not knowing the context behind it. and for that, i raise the finest of toasts to excellent writing)

he was sound asleep, LMAOOOO. insomnia cured…. 

shortened intro, i clock thee once again. 

i’m so…. i don’t even know what i feel. a lot of things.

moby is playing. and slides are being played. this took place 63 hours before the opening incident, btw. it’s not clear if mulder is just listening to the radio and that is what was on, or if he went out of his way to buy a moby CD. please choose whichever interpretation pleases you more.

he was grooving!!! but she turned the music off to tell him that this person drowned. and pulls a salad out of a bag. she does not seem happy.

THIS GIRL DROWNED ON MARGARITA TRYING TO RECREATE THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, LMAOOOO, oh that is just deeply unfortunate. scully does not want to investigate any further, even if mulder does!! 

but they have bigger fish to fry: he shows her a picture of computer generated crop circles, asking her, aren't they beautiful? and she hands him a sub. so basically AI made the crop circles.

he takes a bite of sub and tries explain the dramatic increase “in size and complexity of circle design” throughout the years

also, he is in a sweater, not a suit. this is worth noting, as are all other small details i observe.

she just wants to put her dressing on her salad, lmaoooo, she does not give a fuck. so he throws in “and i’m not wearing any pants right now” which gets NO response, bahaha! she's got things on her mind!!! other than crop circles!!!

she seems upset.

OH SHE WROTE AND DIRECTED THIS??? PURRRRRRRR! i knew about the writing, but not about the directing.

STAB that salad while he rambles about crop circles. 

she claims she is listening. he wants to go to england TONIGHT, where more crop circles will appear as the computer program predicted, and he bought two tickets. she doesn’t CARE!! she wants to take a BATH, and she has PAPERWORK, and this has NOTHING to do with the FBI.

he is so taken aback. he says he’ll cancel her ticket.

that was harsh of her, BUT i’m not saying i wouldn’t do the same. he just ASSUMED she would want to go. and on a saturday!!! absolutely not!

(very interesting to once again see mulder barreling ahead in ahab-mode without consulting her opinion, assuming she will fall in line. oh, girl. there is so much to unpack there. it seems to me like a mixture of his self-centered devotion to the project and him being unable to invite her more formally into his life so he keeps relying on work as a crutch to bring them together)

“look, we’re always running. we’re always chasing the next big thing. why don’t you ever just stay still?” “i wouldn’t know what i’d be missing” 

GOD. allow me to rip my clothing in grief real quick. it's not like SHE knows what she would be missing either- she just thinks it is something she needs. she wants to drink wine with him and chat.

he leaves. she goes to the hospital. goes to pick up a folder. time slows down. 

she opens the folder and it’s…. a scan of some sort. from d. waterston. not the margarita girl. she is taken aback. she wants the autopsy results. the nurse apologizes. 

scully asks if the person on the x ray was dr. daniel waterston. and the nurse says yes. she is concerned. and walks to the room. where a doctor is saying there is nothing to worry about to a woman in there. scully sneaks around… and she goes in. 

pulls back the curtain with glassy eyes. approaches slowly. a man is on a breathing tube. a single tear rolls down his face. 

the doctor returns, and asks her to step in the hallway. he introduces himself to her- did she say her name was scully? dr. waterston’s mentioned you, he says. “i’m sorry, you must be mistaken” “no, you were a student of his, right?” she changes the subject 

(author's note: and the fact that he MENTIONED her to his DOCTOR just further creeps me tf out!!!!!! i should have known at this point what i was getting into!! i mean, i thought it was weird at the time, but i didn't know how weird it would get!!)

his condition is serious, but treatable. scully says he is remarkable, and goes home before the doctor pressures her further to stick around.

back at her apartment, she has a mac! it's blue and boxy. and she gets a phone call. “you came to see him” “who is this?” “margaret waterston” “maggie. is everything all right?” <- is she his wife?? “well that depends, doesn’t it?” “i’m sorry?”

she referred to her as “maggie”, so clearly they know each other… “whatever”, maggie says

“dr. kopeikan told my father you were here, and now he wants to see you” ohhh, she’s his daughter!!! “look, it’s your choice, but if you come, that doesn’t mean i accept you being in his life” <- DAMN.

another call is coming through. maggie hangs up. it’s mulder, and a movie is playing at his house- did he put a TV in front of his bed? still adjusting to him having a bed, tbh.

he wants her to go pick up some photos of more alleged crop circles after he heads out for his flight. but more time is slowing down. she says she’s out for the evening. asks him to leave the address on the machine, and she’ll try for him.

she goes back to the hospital. lots of people are in this room, surrounding a patient. “i’m sorry, i have the wrong room”, she says. it’s okay, one of them replies kindly. she walks out. there is gentle music playing.

now she goes to the right room with dr. waterston inside. maggie storms out when scully approaches. she walks in, quietly, before saying hi. “so i have to lock eyes with the devil for you to grace me with your presence?” 

he seems so much older than her. OH, and he calls her "dana". i don’t like that. i mean, i know that is probably what he called her when they knew each other, but it feels so wrong to the audience.

she says he’s lucky he made that diagnosis. “luck has nothing to do with it, dana. it’s what doctors do every day. you may have forgotten that” <- OHHHH, so rude??? just genuinely nasty.

she says “daniel…” in a very warning tone. then asks why he happened to be in washington. she goes to sit and he grabs her hand. she looks uncomfortable. 

“how’s the FBI?” “is that why you wanted to see me? to remind me once again what a bad choice i made?” <- ohhh, there is some tension here. 

he kisses her hand and then places it on his cheek. “believe me, my motivation is far more selfish than that” <- i don’t like this…

she says he scares her. “i scare you…. because i represent that which is ingrained, not only in your mind but in your heart- that which you secretly long for” <- that seems… very presumptuous. but she’s avoiding eye contact like she’s guilty of what he describes.

he never accepted her reason for leaving, saying it was an excuse. “i can’t believe the FBI is a passion. not like medicine” <- NO ONE ASKED YOU?

she gets up, saying she’s sorry she came. but he rubs a hand on her face. she just wanted to make sure he was okay. he says he knows how difficult it was to walk through that door- but she did, and that says something. which further sets off my creep alarm.

she leaves, perhaps thoroughly uncomfortable like i am. when her phone rings. it’s mulder. he has an address for the american taoist healing center to go and pick up the photos he mentioned earlier. “and she researches crop circles?” <- lmao

OH, it’s taoist, not buddhist! well, there can be overlap in these practices.

(the themes of the episode were, in fact, vaguely both❤️you could probably write a whole piece on this episode and the idea of surrendering to the dao, but that's a job for another day)

and then she nearly hits someone as a pedestrian walks right in front of her car. time slows once more as she presses on the brakes. the woman turns and smiles at her. scully is so confused.

what does sidewalk woman know…..?

mulder is calling out to see if she is still there. 

she pulls in at a big house and rings the doorbell. it was a woman who was at the hospital earlier that day! must be from the wrong room she walked into. they remember each other. scully says she is here on behalf of her partner to pick up some photos. her name is colleen azar, and she asks scully if she would like to come in.

scully says no- she needs some fresh air, which prompts colleen to worry. scully claims she's shaken from a near car accident. been there, sister.

but colleen says it isn't nothing- car accidents come from us not paying attention to something. scully wants to get out of there, saying she doesn’t have much time. 

“you think what we do is a little ridiculous, don’t you?” “uh, to be honest, i don’t know exactly what it is that you do” “but you’ve already formed a judgement about it” <- ohhhh… she clocked her tea immediately

“i really should be going”

“there is a greater intelligence in all things”, says colleen without looking up from her papers. “accidents- or near accidents- often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lesson it gives”

scully licks her lips. colleen hands her the paper and says to slow down. then shuts the door on her.

scully drops all of the papers, and time slows as she picks them up, including a crop circle of the heart chakra. then her phone rings again.

she’s back at the hospital with daniel. “ah, hurricane scully has arrived” “i was summoned” <- what does he want with her?! he wants someone to back up his treatment theory, because the doctor won't listen to him

scully points out that prednisone won’t complicate cardiac arrhythmia, not if it’s just a short burst, which waterston says “there” to, as if it proves his point. the doctor leaves.

maggie is furious. “you come off so rational, but maybe you know less than you think” ohhh… is this a “you’re not my REAL mom” sort of situation? she storms out. waterston says she’s been through some difficult times. scully asks how she found out. waterston says he did things he wasn’t proud of.

“things got bad at home after…” “bad how?” “i haven’t been completely honest with you. it was hard for me… when you walked away. shut down from my family. and needless to say, it was very difficult for barbara” "you divorced”

SCULLY WAS WITH A MARRIED MAN?!! WHAAAAT.

“only after an interminable period of discomfort for us both” “where did you go?” “here. washington” “almost ten years ago” “daniel… you didn’t move here for me?” “i didn’t mean for it to happen this way, of course” she's crying. “oh, god. you’ve come at such a strange time” “i know. you have a life” “i don’t know what i have”, she laughs

she points out that she would have never known he was here if it wasn’t for a mix up in the folder she came to retrieve

“i want everything i should want at this time of my life. maybe i want the life i didn’t choose” <- oh... ouch...

he reaches out to her… she presses his hand against hers. and they grasp each other. she cries against him, his fingers running through her hair. when his monitor starts to go off. he's flat-lining. she’s doing compressions. yelling for a nurse.

woah. that is major tea. scully was with a MARRIED PROFESSOR???? gag.

the nurse rushes in while she’s doing doctory stuff, shocking his chest- where is his doctor in this hospital?! i mean, i trust her to get the job done, but she’s off the clock! she’s freaking tf out. they get a pulse going. and she’s panicking. 

she goes back to the house from before- colleen's taoist place. someone else answers the door and asks if she wants to come in. scully says no, but this stranger only opens the door wider so she basically has to, lmao. she’s walking around. looking at the various contraptions. 

oh! colleen and this other lady smooch! okay! now that i see her in the light, i realize that colleen is very, very pretty.

scully says she’s very sorry for being rude the other day, and she doesn’t know what colleen does. she wanted to ask her about something she said. they sit down together.

she starts to open up, saying her friend is ill, and she thinks he may be dying of a more serious condition than anyone realizes. "friend"- interesting word choice there. colleen starts to explain layers of energy, consciousness, and aura. if you witness this, truths come out little to do with science and much to do with faith.

“what are you saying that i saw?” “pain. and where there’s pain, there’s a need for healing- physically, mentally, or spiritually” 

colleen says shame, guilt, and fear create imbalance, and it makes you forget who you are. she rests a hand on her knee and asks if she would like tea. i wonder what shame, guilt, and fear scully is holding onto. being with this man?

scully is fidgeting with one of her many gadgets when colleen asks if she has ever had moments when everything seems clear- when time seems to expand. scully says yes. “you may be more open to things than you think- it’s just a matter of what you do with it” <- well, that is an assessment on scully's character i would agree with.

they sip tea. colleen used to be a doctor. she thought she was happy, but she was cut off from the world and from herself, dying inside

OH. OUCH…. the scully parallels...

she was hiding her relationship with the woman scully saw earlier, then she was diagnosed with cancer, which got her attention. made her realize the field had no meaning for her, so she left it, and it helped her be happy. only when he she saw a healer who helped her release shame did her cancer go into remission.

everything happens for a reason, colleen says. 

wow. that is heavy. also love that gillian had the pen for one episode and said "this show needs some lesbians". and she was absolutely correct.

scully goes back to see daniel with some tulips, but maggie asks if she’s happy. “you can’t. he’s in a coma” “since when?” “since about two minutes after you supposedly saved his life” <- OHHHHH MY GOD? is she implying malpractice?

maggie blocks her from entering. “do you have any idea the hell you’ve created in our lives?” “maggie, to be honest, i left so that there wouldn’t be hell in your lives” “don’t try to be reasonable with me. i am so sick of being reasonable. you moved on, but we’ve had to live with what you left behind”

so maggie is mad at her for leaving her dad- even though he was cheating on her mom to be with her?? and she thinks her leaving broke him?? or is it more of a "this is all your fault for even getting with him in the first place", although, let's be clear, maggie does not seem that much younger than scully, she has to realize how creepy the whole thing is... maybe she blames her for "awakening" that part of her father, so to speak...

(author's note: this scene makes so much more sense in the original version of the episode we didn't get to see, which is a shame, because based on what was explained to me in that other post i mentioned, the original version sounded a lot more compelling, especially through the lens of scully grappling with her shame and guilt. oh well. what can you do?)

she looks so sad. more moby is playing as she leaves. damn. moby really was the soundtrack of the time, huh? i've lived my whole life moby-less until now.

she’s walking away slowly, flowers in hand. walking past a temple. incense or smoke or something blows by her. it’s an apothecary. she wanders into the woman from before who she almost hit!! she's running after her. following her into a building. 

inside there are lots of plants. and then a door. is this a temple? she pushes the door open. finds cushions and candles and a statue of the buddha. it is very beautiful.

she falls to her knees. closes her eyes. breathing in, rocking back and forth. flashbacks of her life play- her father, her mother, her sister. then, waterston laying down. his heart pumping. his lips moving- his eyes opening. she gasps and opens her eyes, which are filled with tears. the buddha stature stares down at her. 

did she…. manifest that? is he better now?

back at the hospital, someone is trying to clear blocked chakras from waterston. his doctor enters- “dr. scully, who do you think you are?” (um, how about she's the woman that did CPR on him while you were doing god knows what? don't blame his coma on her, where tf were you?)

she's with colleen. they’re doing an alternative approach to healing. the doctor tells her she is wasting her time- but she just wants to help. she says it so quietly and honestly. it seems like nothing else was working. “with all due respect, that is not for you to assess”, he says- it is for his medical team and his family.

maggie tells her to continue- if it isn’t hurting him, we should be open to it, she explains. the chakra man says there is nothing more to do- he is ready to move on, but he needs to do something before he does so. scully turns to maggie. more moby plays.

she goes home, getting in a bathrobe. then, she’s in a suit. sees herself in the hospital bed, dying. and is awoken by a phone call.

it’s maggie. she wants her to come to the hospital right away and immediate hangs up before she can ask any questions.

waterston is awake, asking if she thought he would give up so easy. she approaches him. tells him he was slipping away. he makes a snide comment about her “voodoo ritual”, but he doesn’t want to talk about that. they need to talk about what happens next for us. what does he mean by "for us"?

scully spoke at length with maggie. “it’s time… you took responsibility for the hurt you caused in your family”. she says it’s no accident he got sick.

“dana… it was only to be with you. you are all i live for” “maybe the reason you’re alive right now is to make up for that”

she says she’s not the same person, and she wouldn’t have known that if she hadn’t seen him again. 

maggie was listening to all of this. and scully leaves before she enters the room. 

god. what a graceful response from scully. i would have probably told him to choke and enjoy hell. but she does something to save his life, he's nasty, and then expects that after 10 years, they will somehow find a way to be together. her saying that he needs to make up for only living for her is such a careful word choice.

scully is standing outside of the hospital with her arms crossed. time is slow. she sees the woman she nearly hit again. and runs after her. but it’s mulder? he says he was looking for her. 

so that woman was some sort of divine apparition, maybe...

he says nothing happened in england- no crop circles. “maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, mulder” “come on, i’ll make you some tea” oh. my heart. it's melting again.

“i just find it hard to believe” “what part?” “the part where i go away for two days and your whole life changes” 

their feet are up on his table, the light from his fish tank shining on their faces

“mm, i didn’t say my whole life changed” “you speaking to god in a buddhist temple. god speaking back” “mm, and i didn’t say god spoke back. i said that i had some kind of a vision”

this is so open and vulnerable and unlike them. she must have told him everything about waterston.

she goes quiet. “what is it?”, he asks. and again, oh my god, it's so gentle.

“i once considered spending my whole life with this man. what i would have missed.” oh man... her saying this as she sits next to him on the couch.. hold on, hold on....

“i don’t think you can know. i mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices. we… we don’t know”

“what if there was only one choice… and all the other ones were wrong? and there were signs along the way to pay attention to?” man... hold on, hold on...

“mm. and all the… choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and we wouldn’t be sitting here together" he's serious, but then he's almost laughing: "well, that says a lot. says a lot, a lot, a lot. i mean, that's probably more than we should be getting into at this late hour”

but when he turns to see what her reaction is, she's asleep on his shoulder. he brushes her hair back. wraps her up in a blanket. and gets up. we pan over the fish tank and see a little UFO toy in there. and is that a tiny buddha on his shelf?

wait. i have to rewatch that scene or i might die.

she just falls asleep, LMFAOOO. oh, poor sleepy thing, so tired from going through all of that over the past 2 days, and so prone to falling asleep easily even on the best of days. OHHH, and his smile falls when he realizes that. he just... looks at her. so lovingly.

SO WAIT. did she fall asleep on his couch and they didn’t actually hook up?! i have to go watch the beginning again, sorry, LMAOOOO

well, no. she is putting on her clothes in the beginning. and she fell asleep wearing them. so she definitely took them off. she’s watching him in his bed. 

so yes. hook up CONFIRMED.

which is something i thought i saw about this episode, but i wasn’t 100% sure, LMAOOO

okay. i don’t know what to think!!

crazy scully lore reveal!!!! so, it seems that she was dating her professor, who was quite frankly obsessed with her. at first, i thought it was a consensual thing- hence my shock that scully knew he had a wife- but like… him moving to DC ten years earlier??? saying that she was all he loved? and also, can you ethically date someone who controls if you pass or fail a class?? that just seems… super fucking predatory.

okay, i made an entirely separate post to address that point which i linked to at the very top, because if i didn’t, i would probably spend the whole rest of this analysis on it. and we have plenty to cover. but i agree with other's assessment that she probably thought it was an equal relationship at the time- she was young, but not that young, thinking she was ready for something as serious as an affair, not seeing that he was holding all the cards in his hand... yeah. a lot to be said there about the power dynamics and scully trying to prove herself by diving into a relationship with a much older, more established man. and he probably did that to a ton of students, too- made them feel special and mature. gosh. it is really very icky. like i said, her telling him to own up to his mistakes was a very measured response.

also, it is still a shitty thing to do to have an affair, don't get me wrong. i'm not trying to make scully seem innocent, but it is clear she was being manipulated and this wasn't an evenly balanced power dynamic- this was pretty damn predatory. since that is the direction they went with- her willingly dating a man who was married instead of her breaking it off when he learned he was- i feel that could have been more fleshed out. it makes far more sense in the original context. time constraints, sure, but still. the whole plot with maggie would have made a lot more sense had they gone in the original direction.

so. other than that.

GOD. scully driving back to colleen’s place because she wanted to apologize for being rude and because something she said was sticking with her... she is just so kind. and honest. and curious.

and opening up to a stranger because she was so desperate for answers, but also because they had this connection that she initially didn't want to pursue, preferring to stay in her old ways… sharing tea, admitting her biases, listening to her story. spinning her gadget in the kitchen. colleen coming out to her and to the world. god.

and regardless of how you want to characterize the exact nature of what was going on between her and waterston, he was creepy and rude and nasty to her, and it was hard for her to be around him, but she told him he needs to admit to the pain he caused his family. GOD. standing up to him like that… fuck. that’s just SUCH an enormous thing, and you could tell it dominated such a large part of her youth and her outlook on her life since. how she really thought that she made the wrong choice at first, how she rested her head on his chest, and how she realized no- i like the life i've built, i can't live in the past wondering what could have been when i have the here and now, and what a gift it is.

and she had a long talk with maggie… even though maggie was so furious with her and even blamed scully for him falling into a coma on top of breaking apart their family… she talked with her and they agreed that he did things wrong and he needed to apologize. 

scully is so kind.

she let mulder have it at the beginning of the episode, but if it was saturday and my partner bought me tickets to england without consulting me, i can’t say i would behave any better. and she has kept voicing her dissatisfaction, but he doesn’t know how to respond, so he simply dodges it. for years now this has been happening! of course nothing would get better between the conversation in the car in dreamland and that moment! 

but even if she snapped at him and even if he deserved it, and even if he drives her crazy so often, she found him in the form of a messenger. some divine intervention. how many other times has he been placed in her life by some sort of angel?

and then she told him everything, and he listened and he joked and she got more and more open, until she fell asleep and he tucked her in. so carefully. the way he was looking at her… god.

and then… they hooked up. i'm curious as to how that went. she falls asleep on his couch, and either wakes him up, or he was still awake, and then what? do they talk more? does she cut straight to the chase? was there a conversation beforehand about what it would mean for them moving forward, and what they mean to each other, and why do this now- because she realized what she had in front of her and it couldn't wait any longer? is this finally going to be the "staying still" she has wished for- just acknowledging how they feel rather than barreling ahead so they don't have to talk about it?

does that mean they’re canon and together for real? does that mean they’ll actually start, you know, acknowledging their feelings for each other? because lord knows that they haven’t been able to do that until now. will they have to hide it from all of their coworkers and skinner? is there going to be an awkward phase of feeling what this “thing” is out? going on a first real date? trying to call each other “honey” and laughing at how strange it sounds?

or is it “just” sex for now? would that be any better than the circle they have already been elaborately dancing in for the last 7 years? or will it make things MORE complicated? or is this a one time moment of weakness/clarity thing going on? what is it going to be like the next time they see each other?

so much to play with here.

but all of this ignores the real heart of the episode, which is scully opening herself up to the spiritual. we have seen her dives into catholicism before- she was, at some point, almost attending mass regularly- but she was open to change. to any sort of answers. the visual of her sitting before the buddha with her cross necklace on was super powerful. actually trying a chakra healing cleanse on waterston because colleen said it might help. the idea of the divine coming in many forms- how interesting to consider that through scully's eyes.

listening and learning to colleen and the universe out of a genuine curiosity- and some desperation thrown in there too, because doing things as she has done them hasn’t been working. exploring the non-scientific. looking into new belief systems. feeling rather than rationalizing. accepting the guilt and the pain and the shame of what she did and what could have been and working through it. having a vision. and all of those things are so incredibly personal, but she chooses to tell mulder about them despite knowing his reaction would be incredulous. and he is shocked, but he treats her gently. he can read between the lines.

and all of this happening because of a series of coincidences- the wrong folder, the near accident, dropping the papers. wisdom in all things. fuck.

god. it is just brilliant. there’s a lot i still have to sit with and parse out, and i’m in no rush to do it, because i have plenty of time to analyze. but it was really great. i am so happy for scully. i hope that things go well for them from now on, but i’m no fool. 

did moby have a stake in this episode? i gotta say, i had never heard a moby song before this show. all i know about him is that he’s bald, vegan, and claimed to date natalie portman and she was like, wtf is he talking about, that never happened. but now i have been given many moby songs in this show. i don’t really care for them, but i understand.

so, once again i am convinced that the actors of this show understand their characters far more than any of the writers do, and we should let them cook more often. alas! this happened 25 years ago and i wasn't there to stand outside the studio with signs and voice my opinions.

please tell me all of your thoughts on this episode. if this isn't the longest writeup i've ever made, it is very close. did you like it? what did you think about her ventures into the spiritual? i know it won't happen again, but i would love to see more of colleen. how do you think the getting together part went? please do share. and if you have fic of what happened next, that would be swell, too.

[starmahgalaxies]

Poor Jou does not know how to begin to explain the situation he is in.

The return of the biggest little shit! /affectionate. I know a lot of it is flashback as we catch up on each of the children, but he's working overtime. Good for him.

->Restaurant patrons and staff speak Japanese. ->A handful of the dishes shown appear to also be Japanese ->Only accepts US$.

I don't blame you, Jou. I would be pissed.

You were the one who threw it.

I was serious when I mentioned indentured servitude in my last rewatch post. Anytime I hear paying off a debt that just keeps growing and growing and theoretically you should be protected under the law (no idea what the legalities in the Digital World are. Digitamamon seems to be one of the few capitalistic businesses around), but you're treated like shit, it's the first thing I think of. It is a bit of a stretch, normal indentured servitude is for years. I don't doubt that they would have kept Jou and Yamato there until they were adults.

Oh, that's another thing, child labor.

(I'm also several years post-graduation on classes with this stuff so take my word with caution.)

They are both trying so hard to be considerate. The value of talking to your friends and being honest aahhh...

One screencap does not do well to show how much the poor lad is shaking. I really admire Jou for how he handles his anxiety despite how much shit it gives him. Guy is prepared to go through med school... THEY WILL EAT YOU ALIVE PRECIOUS BEAN! (this is nothing against thinking he can't do it. It's that med school and field can be hell, as conveyed to me by others in my life) He makes a fantastic doctor.

Sora, please, please talk to your friends. They'll love to hear you are all right. Or were even here at all.

You would really have to hate a coworker to mess up so badly to increase the amount of abuse you receive. That is counterproductive. There are better ways to get out of something or convey the message of screw you to the boss without impacting people you work with who you actually like.

Yamato is a way too close to panicking and worry to recognize this though. Oh, and a child, who shouldn't be working at all at this age or knows how this stuff works.

Little brother interrupts break at work: Day immediately 1000x better.

I would not put money on that. You are much too reckless and stubborn.

The dead eyes of evil management.

This is why it's good to have faith in your friends. 👏

Two angry furry boys.

Love how bristling Ikkakumon looks. Put his partner down!!

ALL HAIL THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

Two angry furry boys, except one of them is bipedal now.

Speak for yourself, if he's desperate enough and thinks it is the most productive option, Jou will do anything ❤️.

👏 True 👏 friends 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 their 👏 feelings 👏

"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!"

🤝❤️

I focused a lot on shit work conditions for this, but I do really like this episode for both Yamato and Jou. They're good kids. Should lay off employment for a bit though xD. Saving the world is enough stress.

[sasukeless]

What's Sasuke and Karin's friendship like?

i can’t tell if you’re asking me for hcs or use canon? anyway i guess they both the same anyway because i don’t like changing stuff. so yeah they are a very subtle friendship since karin is a side character and not meant at the center of sasuke’s arc the way itachi and naruto are but i still find them very precious.

like imagine you’re karin and you have no family and no village and you’re basically the lab experiment of some freak and there’s this boy that saves your life and is the only person kind to you (you can notice is taka’s interactions sasuke defends karin from suigetsu which i find really nice of him). it makes perfect sense to me karin grows very attached to sasuke. he’s also the one to kill her abuser (more because orochimaru is his abuser as well but yeah) and free her of duty, and trusts his back to her. the way jugo tells sasuke they have to leave karin behind because they won’t make it otherwise but sasuke stands his ground and does everything to save her it’s so telling and debunks any argument people have of sasuke just seeing her as a tool.

in fact, i find hilarious ppl use him stabbing karin at 5ks as their proof when the whole point of that scene is seeing how far gone sasuke was and his mental instability when faced against the responsibility for itachi’s and his clan massacre that he ended up hurting a friend that gave all to help him. obito literally calls karin sasuke’s favorite out of taka during that fight, do people just assume kishimoto added that for no reason? but anyways back to them. i also love that despite his crush and flirting, karin also can talk back to sasuke and isn’t meek. she isn’t scared to call him out when she wants to. sasuke also apologizes to her and ik shippers of all kind love to say he didn’t mean it but there’s no indication he wasn’t sincere unless you try to push an agenda lol. i also love that sensing sasuke in danger got karin to unlock the uzumaki chains technique so she could get to save him, it shows how much she cares (and it kinda parallels him saving her during the killer bee fight). and lastly karin just wants sasuke happy like for all her crush can be annoying at times she really cares more for sasuke’s happiness than “winning” him and doesn’t try to generate pity with her feelings to get him to stay with her and i think that’s why sasuke doesn’t find her annoying lol.

so to summarize it, i adore their friendship even if it’s not in your face and you have to pick it up. i think they care about each other and like each other presences. i can also see them bonding over their traumas being victims of orochimaru’s grooming and being understanding. i like to think even after moving on from her crush karin still acts clingy and annoying w sasuke but instead of being confused like before he just now is like Whatever and lets her because they both know it’s not serious.

[luthanraels-bignaturals]

Malving Attic Wife AU Part 3

Sorry this one took so long, and is also a little bit rushed,,,, I’ve been buried under work for the last few weeks. But I’ve been starved for suffering Irving so i decided to be the change I want to see in the world

cw: Attempted sexual assault, sexual violence (neither between John and Malcolm)

While he’s being punished, John gets barely any social interaction. Every so often Malcolm will come in to bring him food and water, but the most he’ll say to John is to ask if his wounds are paining him, and briefly plead with him to understand why he has to do this to him, that he enjoys it even less than John does. Whenever John starts yelling to be let go, he just sighs and leaves the room

Aside from those brief appearances, John has no one to talk to. He isn’t allowed to read letters from anyone, it’s a lonely time. Suddenly, the days when Elphie would come home to shower him with affection and care and read to him seem so desirable (and deep down he knows, that’s always been what he’s desired. being coddled and adored wholly by malcolm. for as long as he’s known him he has wanted that and it makes him sick to think about)

This is about the tipping point for John. With no chores to focus on, he really has nothing to occupy his time. So he has to think about the artic almost every day. And it kind of makes him a nervous wreck. Constantly relieving his trauma with no comfort

Maybe, just maybe, everything Malcolm’s been saying is correct. Austrailia, King William’s Land- It does feel like God has been pushing John towards the correct path, in Burnfoot never straying from Malcolm’s side.

I mean, he almost died in Austrailia, he almost died in the Artic. This actually makes him feel partly elated- if God has really planned this all along, then he has been wrong the whole time. He love for Malcolm is holy and pure, there’s been nothing sinful about it

Malcolm finally cracks, and tells John that he’s ready to make up after a bit more than two weeks of keeping John in solitude (Even though he told himself it would be no less than five weeks, hearing the way Johns soft crying every evening from the other room, cold and alone in his bed, he folds like a house of cards)

He doesn’t even get the chance to ask if John understands why he had to do that before John starts bawling and throws himself at William apologizing. Whimpering about how sorry he is, how he didn’t mean it, begging Elphie not to hate him. Hysterically pleading while he clutches Malcolm like a life line

Malcolm’s heart kind of breaks when he hears that John though he might’ve hated him. And spends the next few hour curled around John on the bed, reaffirming his adoration, and how John is just the most precious thing in his life. Peppering kisses around his hairline

Make no mistake: John is not fully settled and content about his role as Malcolm’s attic wife. He still asks constantly about whether he might go to Edinburgh to visit family, or if he can please have his friends letters back. There’s still a long way to go before John’s the perfect happy housewife, but they’re over the first and biggest hurdle

Intoducing Marojorie the cat! Because John really only needs one human in his life, but William has always been so endeared by his love of animals. Marjorie is an older girl, low maintenance low energy so John doesn’t overwork himself.

The relationship is rapidly blurring the lines between friendship and romantic love, and sexual love. Even though all three are omnipresent, they haven’t said anything yet so it’s all normal

One sexual thing they do that they frame as not- Malcolm gently making John hump a pillow. Firmly holding him and controlling how he moves back and forth while encouraging him. Sometimes it’s a pillow, sometimes it’s the arm of the couch, they’ve discovered that Malcolm’s thigh is really effective. Especially because it can get motion up and down as well as back and forth, plus Elphie gets to watch John go stupid with pleasure. This is every night. Trust me bro it’s hysteria treatment

One day Irving does actually go outside. Majorie gets outside and Jirv gets really nervous that she’s not gonna come back. With Malcolm away for the night at a party. But for some reason he doesn’t feel the need to run as quickly as he can, there’s no urgency to escape

Walking alone on a dark road at night, in just oversized shirt because he’s forgotten a lot of societal norms, maybe not the safest idea Johnny boy

The first people he encounters in a little more than a year are… not the most wholesome crowd. They’re a little too drunk and a little too happy to see a pretty young thing walking alone in just his sleeves

He barely gets away, scraped up and with a torn shirt, a lot of bruises on his face neck wrists and legs, but more shaken up than anything. When he finally gets back to Burnfoot, Marjorie is already at the back door waiting to be let in for supper time.

By the time Malcolm gets home, John throws himself into his arms sobbing, shaking like a leaf. His excursion has confirmed what Elphie has been telling him and what he’s suspected to be true- everything and everyone in the outside world wants to hurt him

The whole thing scares Malcolm so badly too that he skips all his obligations the next day to lay next to John in bed. Rocking him back and forth, holding him as tight as he can while promising that he’ll never let anything happen to John. Begging him to never leave because he wouldn’t be able to live if he was ever hurt. He only lets himself cry with fear and relief when he’s certain John is asleep. They spend an entire day like this

Nail in the coffin for John leaving Burnfoot: No chance

[ironbabey]

July

Peter Parker x Reader

angst, maybe fluff?

Word Count: 1k

Inspired by the song July by Noah Cyrus

~~~~~~~~

I've been holding my breath, I've been counting to ten, over something you said

“So uh, what do ya say? Wanna give it a shot?” Please say yes please say yes please say yes-

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I’m gonna have to say no.”

No. He said no.

It took you months to work up the courage to finally tell him how you felt, ironically you told yourself the worst he could say was no. Fuck, it hurt.

You were crushed. “Oh uh, that's okay. We can just stay friends.” It’s not okay, you don’t want to be friends. Well, you do. You also wanted-no, hoped- for something more.

He smiled, god you loved that smile. It never failed to make your heart skip a beat, even breaking it at the same time.  “Glad this won’t change our friendship. I care about you a lot.” He says, you can hear the pity in his voice.

He cared, just not in the way you wanted.

I've been holding back tears, while you're throwing back beers, I'm alone in bed

You were always told rejection hurt but you didn’t think it’d be this painful. Peter went out while you were sulking in your bed. There’s more fish in the sea, right? You shouldn’t have fallen for him, everyone told you not to, and yet here you are.

How could you be so stupid?

Of course he didn’t like you.

You were nothing compared to her.

You didn't have the perfect teeth, the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the perfect...anything. You were just you.

You stupidly thought that it would be enough for him, she didn't even remember him, but you made new memories with him.

You know I, I'm afraid of change. Guess that's why we stay the same

You two were fighting now. It's your fault anyways. You lashed out on him just because he hadn’t reached out to you since that day. He's ignored your texts, calls, hell you even tried an email for the fun of it. He stilled ignored you.

The day you confessed really fucked things up.

You decided to be the bigger person and show up at his door. He would've known you were going over if he read your messages.

“I thought we agreed that wouldn’t change us. You said you wanted to be friends so why are you being such a dick?”

 “I’m being a dick? Oh, that’s real funny coming from you. I have a life full of other people, not just you. I don’t see why I have to be the one to do everything.”

You bit your lip and looked at the ground, embarrassed that you were acting childish, “No, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

So, tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road

Peter let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair, the soft hair you used to play with during the times you'd study together. “I think you should go. I can’t handle this—you—right now.”

You refused to cry in front of him. “Yeah, okay.” You grabbed your bag and slammed the door shut on your way out. You fucked everything up, didn’t you?

Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know

A week went by, and he finally texted you, asking you to go over and talk it out. In the end you were still his best friend, and he didn't want to lose you.

You picked up a photo that was in a beautiful golden frame on the coffee table, you knew who the woman was, Peter talked about her all the time, and it killed you. You thought he was over her.

 “What are you doing with that?” He grabbed the framed photo from your hands as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

You blinked back the tears that were threatening to come out, “It was just sitting here, she’s pretty. Really pretty.”

Peter smiled, “Yeah, she was. The greatest too.”

‘Cause you remind me everyday, I’m not enough but I still stay

You two sat in uncomfortable silence. He wanted to make up, wanted things to be normal again, but you had other plans. You wanted answers. “What does she have that I don’t? What’s so different?”

He groaned. “Please, don’t start this right now.”

You stood up from the couch, “No! I want to know why you’re after someone who moved on. Someone who doesn't even rem-“

“She was the only one there for me through all of it! She helped me from beginning to end! I ruined everything just to make sure she got into the school she worked so hard for!" His voice went soft, he couldn't hold back the tears that went streaming down his face. His brown eyes were hardly visible through them, "She was all I had. She was the only girl that ever looked my way and actually liked me.”

Then what am I?

I've done a lot of things wrong, Loving you being one. But I can't move on

“What?”

“Then what am I?”, you repeated deep down you knew you were being a little selfish, but he had no right to say you didn't care, “I’ve been there for you. I’ve laughed with you, cried with you, I even fought with you and you’re still tossing me aside?”

“Listen-“

“No! You listen to me! I’ve done nothing but love and care about you but clearly that’s not enough! Nothing is ever enough for you! I-I’m not enough.”

Peter stood to hug you. To tell you that you was more than enough. To tell you he was just afraid of being more than what you were now.

If you want me to leave, then tell me to leave, and baby, I'll go

You moved away from his attempted hug. How dare he cry when it was him who was hurting you? “N-No, you don’t get-get to cry.” you choked out through your own tears.

“I’m sorry please just understand.” He begged.

“Tell me to leave. Tell me you don't want to see me again and I’ll stop. I’ll leave you alone just like you want.” That’s not what he wanted, not at all. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if you left him too.

“That’s not-I want you to stay.”

You remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

[frostfires-blog]

As TGCF fan, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from TGCF? And why do you love them all? Also, your top 5 (or top 3) favorite moments from that series? Thanks....

[Hi, thanks for sending an ask! I appreciate any opportunity I get to talk about TGCF here since I don't really have anyone to talk to about it in person. Ngl, I have very predictable tastes lol. ]

──────────────────────

-> Top 5 Favourite TGCF Characters:

[ Honourable Mentions: Pei Ming, Mu Qing, & Yin Yu ]

5) Yushi Huang/Rain Master

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail since she was already featured on my top 15 female characters post... but I love her backstory and design. Her humility, patience, selflessness, and compassion are incredibly admirable, setting her apart from other characters.

4) He Xuan/Blackwater [Warning! Potential Novel Spoilers!]

His backstory and role in the series are really compelling and harrowing. I really liked his dynamic with SQX before the big reveal. I honestly didn't see this coming, even though I usually can spot plot twists from a mile away. Even though I am rather sad with how the Black Water Arc ended, reading it was tremendously thrilling. HX is a nuanced character with complex emotions and motivations, which adds to his appeal. I wish we had seen a little more of his actual thoughts and sentiments, though... On my first read-through of the series, I didn't particularly care for any of the side-ships, but after my second read-through, all the angsty tropes really resonated with me, solidifying Beefleaf as one of my favourite MXTX ships.

3) Shi Qingxuan/Wind Master

I don't think there's a single tgcf fan that doesn't like SQX. His compassion, loyalty, and integrity are commendable. His bright, mischievous, and fun-spirited nature is always entertaining to see. While most of us love his bond with MY—which is incredibly entertaining—I also adore his friendship with XL. The scene of him unwittingly exposing XL in front of the Heavenly Court will never not be funny. By the end of the series, despite facing immense adversity, he remains bright and resolute, which is tremendously inspiring.

2) Hua Cheng/San Lang

There's a lot to like about HC, but his enduring devotion will forever be my favourite aspect of his character. His willingness to prioritise XL's happiness and well-being over his own desires is everything. The way HC loves and accepts XL for all that he is truly precious. While some argue that HC is uninteresting because most of his development revolves around XL and we never learn his full backstory—he is actually a nuanced character with separate opinions and sentiments. I adore his charismatic, confident, and witty personality, as well as his introspective, sincere, and slightly insecure inner self. I don't want to go into too much detail since I'm going to write a longer piece on him as he'll be featured in the upcoming list of my favourite male characters.

1) Xie Lian

XL is a compelling character because—unlike typical protagonists who evolve during the course of their journey—he has already undergone significant personal development at the series' starting point. Rather than growing with him, we gradually unravel the intricate layers of his multifaceted personality and obscure past. His development throughout the series is centred around him rebuilding and forging connections with others rather than growing as an individual. He is unique as a character because, despite his kindness and compassion, he also recognises that there are circumstances beyond his control, which helps him maintain his composure in trying times. However, he does not let this deter him from attempting to help others. XL is truly remarkable for his capacity to discern the good in others, despite having endured immeasurable suffering and witnessed the darkest aspects of humanity. His unadulterated, unconditional love for HC is profoundly heartwarming. Nevertheless, once again, I don't want to go into too much detail...

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-> 2.0) Top 3 Favourite TGCF Moments...

Ngl this is a difficult one since both the donghua and the novel have a lot of great scenes in them... So I'll cheat a little and give 3 from the anime and 3 from the novel... Ngl, they're mostly Hualian-centric since I adore them with all my heart.

> 2.1) Favourite Donghua Moments:

#1 Bridal Sedan Scene (S1 EP1-2)

#2 Gambler's den scene (S2 EP1-2)

#3 “I promise, you won’t find another person more sincere than me in this world" (S1 EP12)

> 2.2) Favourite Novel Moments:

Warning! Potential Novel Spoilers!

#1 Curious Magic Shatters the Cursed Shackles (V8 Chap. 129) + Smiling As Red Robes Fade (V8 Chap. 130)

#2 Cave of Ten Thousand Gods Reveal (V6 Chap. 93)

#3 Temple of a Thousand Lights Endlessly Illuminating the Lingering Night (V3 Chap. 42) / “To me, the one basking in infinite glory is you" (V4 Chap. 63)

[P.S. Forgive me for cheating by tying two placements as there were too many to choose from... ]

[riddle-me-fear]

Hi Riddler! Big fan, love the riddles and the murders etc. I was wondering if you have any friends besides Crane, or does your big brain, ego, and obsessive compulsive swagger make friendship unnecessary? Or maybe just not viable ? Maybe you should ask Joker out for coffee, he seems like a reasonable guy.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Eheh, oh this oughta be intrestin'.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Quiet, you! This question is for ME! Anyway, contrary to popular opinion, I do have what I'd consider friends. But you are right about one thing, in the past I've indeed found it extremely redundant, and, as you've mentioned, unnecessary to have anything but employees, acquaintances at best. That was until...

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Penguin.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Yes... Until Oswald... But! That's in the past now, no reason to dwell on it. Nevertheless I've learned the value of friendship, as cheesy as it may sound. Friends are more useful than mere acquaintances, more reliable, and also far less likely to betray me. You know, dear anon, I find your first instinct to name the Joker as a potential friend quite amusing, and I don't know if you're stupid, ignorant, or downright trying to insult me. No, friendship with the Joker is more Selina's thing, even if I still cannot understand how or why she does it. Well, that aside, let's get back to the far more important subject - me, obviously.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Pff, obviously.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I will choose to ignore that taunting comment this one time, Jonathan. For now. A pressing question must certainly be on your mind, dearest anon - Who are The Riddler's friends? Luckily for you, I am in a good mood to provide you with an answer. Firstly, Jonathan and I have a mutual friend very dear to us, Waylon Jones, otherwise known as Killer Croc. Comes as a surprise, doesn't it? Moving on, there would be fellow intellectuals I quite enjoy the company of, such as Calendar Man, Clock King and King Tut. Harley is also a friend of both myself and Jonathan, despite me continously making efforts to wipe her clown boyfriend off the face of the earth. I have Jon and Pamela to thank for that. Speaking of Poison Ivy, we're sort of on good terms with her, but I wouldn't consider her a friend.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Ya forgat someone.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Hm? Mmmh no, I'm fairly certain that's all of them.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Tetch.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

The Mad Hatter- Oh please! He may consider me his friend, for whatever ungodly reason, but the feeling certainly isn't mutual!

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Aw come on, Eddie, he ain't that bad. He likes you.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

He is an irritating, disgusting little lunatic, I truly do not understand how you can tolerate him. His "tea parties" which he forces you to participate in, if you want to keep your head, is the dullest, most understimulating waste of time- I swear I've lost a couple of my precious brain cells because of him. Ah, and also, did you listen to anything I've said before? The whole "less likely to betray me"-bit? We're both running out of hands to count the many times Jervis has bailed, ditched us, and sold us out.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Hm. Fair point.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye on that matter. Haaaah, in any case, thank you for the questions, dear anon. I think I've quite excelled at answering them, if I say so myself. Now one last thing before I stop talking, as I can see Jon's patience waning from the corner of my eye. Since you're a fan of my riddles, why don't we end it on one, hmm? I'll even go easy on you.

Riddle me this!

I am alive, but do not breathe. I always move, but never truly leave. And if I die, you will die with me.

What am I?