#already had my one meal for the day so im just sitting here hungry and dissociating
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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 1 year ago
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Fuck, I'm struggling today
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caspersscareschool · 1 year ago
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#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy#so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall#for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense#so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u#which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone#but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were#already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant#be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players#intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you#So what happened here was.#There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see#a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids#could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room#if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking#stood on the table#but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything#and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch#next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention#??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve?#am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again#but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die#and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant#obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault#I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 2 years ago
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a moment of sadness and sweetness in one bottle. What to do if there was a quarrel between the characters and Y / N on stupid grounds, for example, they misunderstood each other, or maybe someone didn’t buy something that he had been asked for a long time in the store, or said something unpleasant, although it might not even be addressed to the second. Someone will be very offended, and the second will try to correct the current situation. In general, everyday moments, with an exceptionally good ending!
Yess! Happy to do this one, love me a bit of angst/fluff🙃 thanks for the request! Hope this was okay for you!
141 + König Having A Small "Fight" With GN! Reader
Warnings: angst, swearing, crying, bickering, mentions of depression and self conciousness ‐‐ends in fluff!!
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Simon Ghost Riley-
Simon was in a dreadful mood. He and the team had just gotten home from a mission that didn't go well for any of them. He wanted nothing more than peace and quiet and to lay in bed for the remainder of the day.
He walked into your shared some and was immediately hit with the smell of his favorite food cooking in the kitchen, and gave a heavy sigh. He tried to muster a decent enough mood for you, as it was clear you were just trying to make him feel better.
He walked in and found you dancing around the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner. "I'm home, Y/N."
You turned to him with a bright smile. "Hey! Dinner is almost ready. I'm not sure if you were hungry or not."
You walked over to him and embraced hom tightly. Simon stood stiff, not returning the sentiment, causing you to pull away immediately.
"If it's alright, I'll eat it in the bedroom." Simon said, his eyes leaving yours to look at the floor.
"Oh, that's fine." Your smile fell ever so slightly. "Is there anything else I can do to help?"
"No. I just want to be alone." He mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table.
You nodded meekly and went to prep his plate, handing it to him nervously. "I hope you like, I spent all afternoon prepping it."
"I'm sure it's fine, Y/N. It's just food. Can I go now?" Simon instantly regretted the tone of his voice but couldn't bring himself to reflect on it. He had too much swirling on his mind already.
You swallowed thickly and nodded at him, watching him make his way to your shared room, slamming the door behind him.
You knew when getting into a relationship with him that there would be days like this. He went through so much in his personal life, and his job was far from easy. He'd been gone for nearly 3 months, and you missed him terribly, wanting nothing more than to embrace your boyfriend when he got home.
He told you it was a rough mission, so you thought surprising him with his favorite home cooked meal might help him decompress. You'd had the whole night planned out to take care of him, and now here you were eating alone.
You felt tears fall down your cheeks and stared at your food, your appetite now gone.
~
Later that night, as you were unsure if you could approach him, you'd decided to sleep on the couch.
Simon had come out a few hours after you'd fallen asleep, wondering why you hadn't come to bed, and his heart shattered when he saw you.
He walked over to your sleeping form and crouched down beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, sweetheart."
Your eyes blinked open and looked up at him. Even in the dark Simon could tell you had been crying, and he felt horrible. "Simon?"
"Come to bed, love."
You shook your head, a sad smile forming on your lips. "It's okay. You wanted to be alone."
Simon placed his hands on either side of your face gently. "Just for a little while was all. I didn't want to take my shitty mood out on you. I should've gone about it a different way, though. The food was incredible, I'm sorry I made your hard work seem like it wasn't worth it."
You nodded slowly and moved to sit up. "Im sorry for my part. I knew you had a hard mission, and I let myself take it personally."
"Bugger off with that. C'mere." He pulled you into his arms, carrying you bridal style to your shared room. He laid you carefully on the bed, and slipped into the covers behind you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.
"I love you, Y/N. Thank you for being you." He declared quietly as he pressed a kiss to your hair. "I don't know what I'd do without you in this world."
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König-
"Maus, are you almost ready to go? Our reservation is in 20 minutes!" You heard your boyfriend's voice call from outside your room.
"Y-Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." You replied, staring at your reflection in your mirror. You'd spent the last 30 minutes applying makeup and weren't happy with the end result. You kept reapplying various products, and nothing seemed to be making it better.
König made his way into the room after a few moments to see what the holdup was. "You ready?"
"I'm just trying to make this look good. It's not looking the way I want it." You huffed in frustration.
"You spend so much time getting ready. It's not going to help your self esteem throwing all that stuff on your face, Maus."
"...what?" You turned to him, not knowing if you heard him correctly. He knew of your self-esteem issues, and you were surprised he threw it in your face.
"I said you don't need that crap on your face. It won't help you feel better." He said, his eyebrows bunching together in confusion. Was he saying something wrong? He truly felt you didn't need it.
You turned your head away from him as you felt hot tears beginning to fall down your cheeks. "Oh."
König heard your voice break and immediately panicked. "Maus, are you okay?"
You nodded your head and made your way to the bathroom, grabbing a makeup wipe. You began to aggressively wipe away the makeup on your face as your tears continued to fall.
König followed behind you silently, and his heart shattered upon seeing your tear stained reflection in the mirror. "Maus... tell me what's wrong."
You whipped your head in his direction, fully sobbing now. "I feel so ugly König. Makeup is the only thing that helps me with my self-esteem, and you...you made it seem like it was stupid."
König felt horrible. He truly didn't think much of his words. He thought you were truly beautiful inside and out and didn't need something as trivial as makeup. You were already so beautiful without it.
"Schatz, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I meant to say you don't need it. You're so pretty without it. I don't know why you don't see yourself the way that I do. You are so stunning, I wish you could see that. I promise you I did not mean to belittle how you felt, sweeheart." He slowly approached you and gently started to wipe away your tears. "I love you so much, please don't be upset."
You cried harder at his words, and König almost lost it himself. He was about to speak up himself when you threw your arms around his midsection and buried your face in his chest. "I'm sorry, Kö."
"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?" He asked, bewildered.
"I just.. I feel like I'm not good-looking enough, so I turn to makeup." You mumbled in his chest.
He pulled your face away gently. "Y/N. Remember when we first started dating? I felt horrible about myself and my scars. It's one of the reasons I always wore my hood. Until you. You made me feel good and happy within my own skin. Please, love, let me help you."
You gave him a smile and pressed your lips to his. "I love you so much, Kö. Thank you."
König returned his arms around your waist giving you a tight hug. "I'm always here, Maus. And you are the most beautiful thing in the world to me."
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
You and Kyle were sitting on the couch as you played one of the video games he'd been addicted to lately. You wanted to show more interest in the games he liked, and were delighted when he gave you the controller.
You were coming up on a boss fight, and assured Kyle you were okay to win it. "I promise Ky, I got this."
"I'll lose all my items if you don't, it took me forever to get it. Please be careful." He said, watching you play with worry.
You nearly defeated the boss, when you all of a sudden forgot to duck and were struck with a killing blow.
"Ugh, I'm sorry, I almost had him." You chuckled, turning to see your boyfriend staring at you with an angry look on his face.
"Sorry? I've been at this for hours, and you just let my character get killed, I lost all of my items Y/N!" Kyle's voice rose, causing you to flinch slightly.
"I said I was sorry, I feel bad. I just wanted to try this game out since you love it so much. I didn't mean for this to happen." You mumbled quietly, shifting your eyes away from his.
"This is the last time I let you play any of my games. You ruin everything." He said through gritted teeth. "Now I've got to go back and fix all this no thanks to you."
Your bottom lip trembled slightly as you stood and ran to your bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. You honestly hadn't meant for it to happen. You were just trying to show interest in a game he loved.
~
It was about an hour later when Kyle came into your room, his heart hurting at the sound of your muffled sobs. "Babe?"
You didn't reply, as you kept your head buried in your pillows. He came over to you, and sat beside you on the bed, rubbing your back soothingly. "I'm sorry. I was an absolute ass. You were trying to show interest which I so appriciate, and I just threw it back in your face. I'm so, so sorry baby."
Kyle bent down and began to pepper light kisses all over your face, making you giggle. "What do you say we go and play Mario kart? I may even let you win a match."
"What? Ky you know I whoop your ass at that game." You giggled, wiping your tears away.
"That's a load of rubbish and you know it. Loser makes dessert?" He asked, a wide smile forming on his face.
"You're on, Garrick."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
You'd just gotten home from a shopping trip on your own, and were unloading the bags in the kitchen when your boyfriend Johnny walked in.
"Hey babe, thanks for going." He pressed a kiss to your cheek as he started to help you unload the bags.
"Y/N, where's the hair razor?" Johnny asked, tearing through the shopping bags.
"Oh, crap I forgot it, I knew there was something I was missing. I'll get it next trip!"
"You forgot it? I've been asking you nonstop about it and put it on the list like you asked me to! I shouldn't have to wait until next trip!"
"Okay, okay, im sorry."
"You probably forgot because you were too busy wasting our money on shit we don't need, instead of focusing on the stuff we do."
You swallowed thickly, as his words hit you like a thousand bricks. "Okay."
Johnny threw his hands up in frustration and walked outside to the porch, slamming the door behind him.
You grabbed your keys on the table and made your way to your car.
~
"Where've you been? I came back inside, and you were gone and didn't pick up your cell."
"Went back to the store, here." You said, shoving the razor box into your boyfriend's hands. "Sorry again."
You threw your purse down onto the table and started to make your way to your room before a hand came out and grabbed your wrist. "Y/N, wait."
You turned around to him, your face showing no emotion. "What."
"I'm sorry, babe. I shouldn't have said that shit. I just got frustrated, but that's no excuse." He reached for both your arms and rubbed at them soothingly.
You sighed deeply and met his eyes. "I'm sorry too. It completely skipped my mind when I was there."
"Ah, it's fine. Honestly. I was just being a prick. I appreciate you going back to get it, I really do."
Johnny came up and gave you a bone crushing hug, spinning you around. "I love you, kid."
"I love you too, Johnny." You chuckled before your face fell. "I uh... forgot we needed batteries for your razor."
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John Price-
John had been in his home office nearly all day on call after call. It was supposed to be his day off, but he hadn't left his room in hours. You were slightly worried about him, as he hadn't eaten all day so you decided to make a small snack for him and bring it into his office.
You walked in quietly, pointing to the plate of crackers and cheese as he looked at you pointedly. "Just bringing by a little snack."
"Yeah, yeah, love. I'll be out later." John waived his hand at you dismissively. You gave a small smile before making your way out of his room, closing the door behind you. You were just about to walk away when you heard something spoken, muffled by the door. "Just annoying, you know?"
You felt your heart drop upon hearing those words and walked to your bedroom, not wanting to hear another word. Did you really annoy him? You were just trying to make sure he ate he hadn't left the room in hours.
You laid down on your bed, and tears came to your eyes. You'd been feeling rather depressed lately, like you weren't good enough for him, and his words stabbed at your heart. It was impossible not to keep replaying them over and over in your head.
You'd ultimately decided to give him space for the remainder of the day, not wanting to burden him in any way.
~
"Hey, sorry I've not been able to get off that damn phone all day. Want to go grab a bite?" John's voice came from the doorway.
"No. I'm okay. Thanks, though." You replied, not turning to look at him.
"Oh? Are you sure? It's dinner time, and I figured you haven't eaten." He tried again, walking over to you, and stopped in his tracks when he saw the tear stains literring your cheeks. "Baby, what's wrong?"
You looked up at him, your bottom lip trembling. "Am I annoying?"
"Annoying?" John looked utterly perplexed at your question. "Not at all honey, why would you think that?"
"When... when I closed the door earlier, I heard my name through it...and afterward you said "just annoying"." You sniffled out, unable to meet his eyes.
John sat for a moment, replaying the conversation in his head before remembering. "Oh! God no baby, that wasn't about you. I was on with Kate, and she asked if I'd been able to spend time with you yet since I got home, and I told her I haven't, and it's annoying. I don't think you're annoying at all."
He pulled you into his arms, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'm so sorry you thought that."
You shook your head, a small laugh bubbling in your chest. "I shouldn't have even thought anything of it. I've just been down, lately, I suppose."
"Honey, you should've told me. I can't help you if I don't know what you're feeling." Price put his finger under your chin and lifted for you to look at him. "Why don't we go get some takeout and have a movie night in? How does that sound?"
You nodded your head and pressed your lips against his. "I love you John."
"I love you too, always."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: didn't go too angsty on this one lol. Thanks for reading!!
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fallenrain40 · 4 months ago
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I feel like compared to a lot of diabetics, I do have an okay relationship with food but I have SO many thoughts about this so I'm gonna talk about it !!! I've thought about the relationship with how I eat and my diabetes for so long now. I really wish it was talked about more. It's such a difficult thing to explain to people that yeah, being diabetic makes it so that eating for me is. weird. it can't just be simple. i can't just go get my food and eat it. if I don't eat at generally the same time every day I feel like I'm gonna die both mentally AND because it could actually make my blood sugar less predictable. And eating low carb things for snacks is stressful for so many reasons. 1, if I do that, I might feel less hungry later and then disrupt the routine I have by having a smaller meal and therefor making me worry that my bg is going to be less predictable. 2, sometimes it?? raises blood sugar anyways?? even though we're told that it doesn't do that. it just freaking does. want to have bacon??? and your blood sugar is normal rn??? well haha if you eat it its probably going to go a little bit higher unless it doesnt but if it doesnt thats probably cause its going low unless its just not doing anything. and then there's foods with higher carbs. yeah I can have them but then thats more carbs which means I have to adjust my dosage of insulin which you'd think could be simple but I ALSO need to take into account how hungry I am and if I'm going to eat less if I have that high-carb food, or if im going to eat more, if im going to eat more that means i'd take more insulin than usual with would then make me worry that its going to do something unexpected. if i eat less, then half or maybe even ALL of my meal will just be taken up by that one high-carb thing and i won't be able to have anything else until my next meal, which probably would make me feel BAD until I get to that next meal. and since its such a big THING to just have a meal. I'll only eat twice a day. I wouldnt miND eating 3 times a day but thats so much... having to figure out what my bg is going to do? and making it a lot less predictable. I eat in the morning and in the evening because those are both times my bg starts to rise. not becuase they are the times I WANT to eat. its because they are the times I NEED to. I almost NEVER wake up hungry. I hate eating in the morning. but i literally HAVE to or else my body is going to throw a fit and go "wtf u need sugar for energy!!! why arent u eating!!! *dumps 125423154265 pounds of sugar into your blood* also I feel like mentioning the fact a lot of people are like "omg sugar bad 1!11!!!!!!!1!!! !!1!" and im just sitting here like..... being diabetic has made me love skittles lmao its forced me to eat them probably way more often than i would if i WASNT diabetic (apple juice too btw) becuase thats literally!!! the only way to treat lows!!! and no lows arent always avoidable becuase GUESS WHAT !!! your body doesn't always react to insulin in the same way and sometimes it can be a lot more sensitive to it than normal!! so taking your normal dosage can still make you go low!! I feel like I had more to write but I already spent way too long on this and my adhd is telling me i have 0 focus left for it so. might add onto this later bhgvfgjbh edit: and not to mention the fact that apparently food labels dont have to be 100% accurate so when something says it has 20 carbs, it could something else! and if you eat several things like that! then you have no idea how much you actually had!! LOW TIME !! (or high time) edit 2: another thing I tend to do is, after i've had my first meal which HAS to be as soon as I wake up (unless i just let myself go high bc im. upset), then I will wait till the end of the day, PAST the point I started to feel hungry, till I feel like i cant go any longer and THEN I will eat. I don't alwayss do this but I do it a lot just cause. I feel like the later I eat the less likely im going to feel hungry right before bed? and also i just dont want to deal with it until it's unavoidable anymore?
guys if i'm being so real. being diabetic IS having an eating disorder. like, there is no way of being diabetic that does not include disordered eating. and that's not even counting the diabetes-specific eating disorders that we have names for, like diabetic bulimia. like i feel like there should be a name for the relationship between the diabetic, the food that they eat, and the body they put it in. but right now we just call it "diabetes" and it's just a washed over part of the process of being alive with this shit
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buzzyboi79 · 2 years ago
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.
Im writing this at work on break. I HAVE EIGHT MINUTES. SPEED RUN.
So so so. I saw a tiktok and i HAVE to reenact it with katsuki bc his HORNY ASS would do it. (Also im dumb as hell and didnt copy the link so here we are. If i find it ill edit it-)
No beta, we die like ch 362
Bakugou x reader, slight nsfw, more of some innuendos than anything
MDNI
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Okay so in this basically you and Katsuki just got drive through sammies okay? (Hes not thrilled by it either. Preferring home cooked meals. “They’re so fuckin unhealthy you dumbass.”) And yall are driving home when this happened.
“I still don’t fuckin understand why you HAD to get food from there. Its shitty as hell and gonna make your skin look like shit.” He huffs, gripping the steering wheel tight in one hand while grabbing said food, a fry, in the other.
You roll your eyes back at him. “Katsuki. I don’t eat it every day. I promise. I was just feeling lazy today-”
He still grumbles to himself, choosing to turn up the music instead of responding to you.
You turn it down a bit to which he glares at you, and turns it back up. This goes on a couple times before you get a devilish idea.
You calmly smile at him before setting your sandwich down on the console between the two of you. Katsuki was not thrilled at this sudden change in demeanor.
“Whats that look for- why the hell you smirking like that-” he raises an eyebrow at you, while you give no sign of speaking.
“Oi- what the fuck- talk to me-” He’s swiftly cut off by your body twisting towards him in his seat and leaning over towards his lap. Towards his cock, to be specific.
Immediately his first instinct is to lift his arm without even taking his eyes off the road, and allow you to do whatever it is you wanted. And usually what you wanted, benefited him well. (Wink wink).
“Really-? Right no-” He doesnt even finish his sentence before he hears the sound of you biting into your sandwich. The same one that was sitting on the council between you two.
The same one that just cockblocked him.
You set the sandwich down and look up at him with a smile, cheeks still full of your food.
His eyes actually flicker off the road now, looking at you in disbelief. Disbelief in the fact that you really just did that to him.
You swallow thickly, making sure to give him a clear view of it before settling back into your seat all innocently. “Ya know Kats. That sandwich is pretty good, we should get another one sometime.”
He’s still in shock for a moment before righting himself and ignoring the raging hard on straining his pants. He didn’t know if he was more turned on at the fact he almost got sucked off in the car, or that you had the audacity to pull that off.
“I can tell you one thing, y/n, you sure as hell aren’t making me want to get this fast food shit again.” He grumbles seemingly to himself before adjusting in bit seat, not to go unnoticed by you.
“Hmm. Such a hard ass. It’s okay though. Im still hungry so I’ll make something when I get home.” You grin again, knowing you’re riling him up further.
He lets out a breathy laugh before sending you a glare from the corner of his eyes. “Oh trust me. You’ll definitely be getting a snack when we get home.”
Well, if you weren’t stuffed already, you know you would be by the end of the night.
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slasherwife · 4 years ago
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S/o pampering the slashers + Vincent , they come home and the s/o prepared a bath and cook them dinner.
Y/n Spoiling Their Slasher
Ooh funn! Sometimes these poor bois need extra love 🥺💞
Thomas:
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- He would be a flustered baby from the beginning🥺
- He would feel bad that you’re doing this stuff for him and would feel a bit awkward since he’s so used to being the provider, that he wouldn’t really know how to act 🌼
- He clings to you for guidance, because being so relaxed and spoiled like this feels like a crime to him. And that breaks my heart.
- You end up being the mother hen, coaxing him and cooing at him as he looks up at you as if you're an angel. He'll lower himself into the bath and hold onto your hand, falling into a pit of pure love for you. You are literally his angel and you are GLOWING in his eyes💕
- when you give him a special dinner, he eats it happily and offers to share almost everything with you. It's like he's mostly concerned with what's on your plate instead of his, glancing over and making sure you're enjoying yourself. He can't help it though, it's completely second nature to him 💫💖
He is still hesitant to let himself be comfortable because he has literally never had anything like this ever in his life. He still looks to you for guidance and you tell him that you won't make him do anything he's not comfortable with.
- You both end the night with him clinging to you, buried his face in your stomach with his arms wrapped around your hips. He repeats in his mind that he doesn't deserve an angel like you until he falls asleep, dreaming about you. This boy is lovesick. 💕
Jason
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- Jason would just full on melt. He already knew how kind and loving you could be, and honestly isn't too surprised that you would do this. He nevertheless of course, puts his masked-face on your temple in the form of a kiss, and strokes your ear as a thank you💗
- Big boy doesn't waste a minute, he's stripped and ready to dive in. He definitely did NOT expect you to come over there and help him wash. Unsurprisingly he got bashful and looked away as you lovingly scratched his shoulders and unknotted his huge biceps and neck. He ends up going slack in the tub from how good it feels. 😊
- His eyes don't leave you most of the time. He looks away bashfully when you glance at him or smile at him, and his heart is just a fluttery mess at you. When you courteously look away when he steps out of the bath, you direct him to a big meal you made <3
- He has no idea where to start he is a trainwreck at just eating a mf meal. You smile encouragingly at him as he delicately uses his fork (which looks like a toothpick in his hands) and eats like he's at the queen's reception ceremony. He is SO polite. Uses a napkin and everything.
- I canon that he was ALWAYS hungry pre-zombie phase, and could literally eat 5 horses in one sitting (a weird visual but--) he signs to you asking what you were going to eat, and will literally fight with you about you taking his plate if you haven't eaten yet. 💖😤
- hes a babe
Michael
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- this bitch. you already know bae.
- He would refuse the bath because he finds it weird that he would bathe in a bath you made him (im confused too dw) He will stand there, his 7 ft tall ass, shaking his head at you no.
- you somehow end up getting in the bath with him because that was the only chance he would take the bath-- with you literally stuck to him as he drags you around like a pool noodle 🥲
- he might initiate funky time but probably not. he just wants to be clean tbh. He spends the entire bath time smelling your hair as he doesn't allow you to move for a good 10 minutes. He strokes your neck though which is nice 💖
- after you guys both leave the bath, he is still carrying you like a purse, but lets you at least put on a towel so you're not sitting naked at the dinner table.
- He's really touchy tonight, and it's mostly because he's filled to the rim with love for you. 💗He expresses it with roughhousing though and handling you like a ragdoll. He does NOT mean to hurt you though and will be gentle if you tell him to cut it out.
- He eats absolutely everything on his plate gratefully, again, doesn't express it in the most civil way, but he appreciates it (surprisingly). He actually might eat from your plate, you can't tell me this 7 ft giant doesn't run on five rotisserie chickens a day.
Bo Sinclair
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- I literally didn't even want to write for this dude. He is an asshole. But he's a hot asshole with daddy vibes so here we are 😤💗
- I would never expect Bo to worship you in return for you doing this for him. There are some things he will boast and tease you about being a swoon for him, being obsessed over him and whatnot~~~ But stuff like this is a little too much for that. It almost touches him. Almost💘
- He initially just doesn't know what to say. He loves you, that’s obvious. So he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying the wrong thing (which he does ALL THE TIME) so he's going to be uncharacteristically non hyper-verbal
- When you tell him you have a bath running for him upstairs, he'll think you're joking at first. When it becomes obvious that you're not, you lead him to it, and he looks at you when you're not looking and there's a slight of affection in them🌼
- He offers to share the bath with you, with a glint in his eye and that velvety smooth tone of his. This makes you blush furiously and become shy, which eggs him on. It’s completely up to you though, heh, because this will in fact lead to the sex
- afterwards he may drag you over to the bed to sleep~~~ until you tell him you have dinner waiting for him, and he is a fucking s l u t for food after funky time ✨
- now here he definitely teases you. “you’re practically worshipping me, doll. how am I supposed to treat you now?” What we’re you expecting? but internally he’s bursting at the seams and he’s very touched. 💖Probably to the point where he’s uncomfortable and will either be very quiet (he has no idea what to say) or he’ll tease the shit out of you as a coping mechanism.
- he eats like a normal person unlike everyone else here (and maybe Vincent) going on about his day where you listen patiently with a smile on your face ☺️
- Then when in bed, with his back facing you, he’ll very quietly thank you for doing this for him, because Lord knows he needed it. He’s very thankful 💖
Vincent Sinclair
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- all signs of responsiveness is cut. I mean, he’s the tiniest bit of smug if I’m raw honest. He was the golden child out of the two when he was younger and even if Bo is top dog in Ambrose, the feeling of deserving more than he does is still there. Which he DOES 😭💖
- He’s in absolutely no way like Bo. Bo is a smug ass who doesn’t listen to anyone (who we stan btw), but he’s still touched to the core.💖 You didn’t need to do this, you wanted to
- he knew he was worthy of being loved. He knew Bo wasn’t going to hold him down forever. he’s felt he needed this for the longest time. He wants to beat Bo; ~~~
- and when the prettiest, sweetest angel is at his feet pampering him, he just knows how jealous Bo is. 💘😭 Anyway SORRY I’m rambling~~ I feel like Vinny would be too scared to go into the bath himself and would have you sit on a stool beside him.
- he’ll be signing to you the entire time he’s in the bath~~ about anything and everything. He’s just so emotionally connected to you, he can’t help but spill his thoughts 🥺
- you both would eat your dinner in his room, probably on his bed as you share ideas about sculpting and life Bring a laptop so y’all can watch Netflix together ✨
- he’d want to make love to you after but that depends on how shy he’s feeling. It would probably be gentle and devoid of much lust, only love🥺💓
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delicrieux · 4 years ago
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☆ミ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”
PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN
y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.
─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 
author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!
ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.
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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 
Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.
Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 
But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.
Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”
You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.
But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 
Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.
That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 
You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 
Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.
Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.
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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”
Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.
“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”
While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.
r u dating sykkuno?
You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”
the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team
“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”
how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?
“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 
can i be adopted by ur parents plz
will you and corpse ever collab?!
You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.
Corpse_Husband: yes.
Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.
pack it up, sykkuno
More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 
“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”
we are prepared
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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.
y/n is a child murderer
“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”
take a break and go eat queen <3
“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”
Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 
“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 
The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 
“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”
Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”
“Your pizza came.”
“My what now?” You echo, confused.
“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”
“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”
Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.
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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”
If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 
looking hot, her message read. 
thanks, was all you replied with.
You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.
Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.
“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”
You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.
“Glad you liked it, baby.”
He was going to be the death of you.
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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙
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hoezhatelola · 3 years ago
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Pretty Little Head
Yandere Deku x Fem!Reader
warnings: yandere tendencies(obviously), 18+ NSFW, gore/violence, drug usage, bondage, dubcon/noncon, praise kink, oral(female receiving), oral(male receiving), MDNI
a/n: this was actually a request i received outside of tumblr but i decided to make one here too! i’m so excited to write this one, i think that underneath deku’s innocent appearance he would make one hell of a yandere.
word count: 4.1k
deku had never anticipated someone like you would be the source of all his stress, pleasure, and love. despite being quirkless and utterly small compared to deku himself, you were always so kind. you were always there to take his hand and help him up when bakugou would push him down. you were always there to ruffle his hair and reassure him he’d do great on an exam. you were always there to offer him a snack or some extra lunch, even if you were hungry.
it left deku confused in the dust, as a child and still now, completely lost in how or why you were so nice to him. even when he took off to pursue his career of being a pro hero, which he was very successful in doing, you were still there to visit him or patch up his scratches.
in his bright green eyes and from beneath his curly green hair, this was enough for anyone to reserve the right to feel a burning hatred towards your significant other. he watched in anger as you sat on that blue-eyed idiot’s lap, tangling your fingers in his dark hair and whispering dirty nothings into his ear. he watched in jealousy as a stupid smirk spread across his lips, well aware there was something threatening to spring upwards as he palmed the fat of your thigh in response.
much to his dismay, he couldn’t watch you all hours of the day due to hero work. that didn’t mean he didn’t keep tabs on you however, which he accomplished by using his friends to update him on your whereabouts. who you were with, what you were doing, what you were wearing, what time you got home, when you fell asleep and when you wake up- he knew everything.
at the end of the day, he was still your best friend. you had invited him over one evening and you were telling him about your day, him smiling in response and just looking at you in awe, listening to you babble away.
“and then it started raining! so i had to run to my car and i ended up slipping, see?” you pointed towards your thigh where a large, and honestly, painful looking scrape was. his eyes widened in his response as he analyzed the mark. “that looks like it must’ve hurt, bunny.”
your heart repeated that same fluttering that it has been ever since you were teenagers at response to that nickname of yours. you’d think by now you’d have gotten used to it, huh?
“it did! and i was just laying there like an idiot in the rain for a good two minutes.” you laughed, emphasizing the word idiot. he chuckled in response, seemingly distracted with something else as he admired your smile and the way it lit up your entire cozy apartment.
“hey, you okay?” you asked suddenly, running a hand through his locks, the two of you seated on your sofa with the tv on in front of you. naturally as best friends, the two of you have had a few intimate moments, but they were always platonic. even though he knew this, he loved you too much for his breath not to hitch at the feeling of your soft fingertips playing with his hair.
“oh! yeah, i-i’m fine!” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck and beaming brightly. “hero work just gets me tired and all, you know?” of course you didn’t know. what was he thinking saying that? you were always insecure of being quirkless, your childhood bully, bakugou, not being any help.
you pulled your hand back and looked away, your eyelids slightly lowering themselves, giving you a less excited expression. deku felt his heart drop and his stomach turn inside out, he hated himself for getting so caught up in his own thoughts of fluffy handcuffs adorning your wrists and your bodies colliding that he had forgotten to think before speaking.
“i didn’t mean it like that, bunny!” he said quickly, reaching out to grab your hand when you dodged him. “what are you-”
“this isn’t the first time you’ve said something like that, deku.” you muttered, immediately questioning yourself afterwards. were you being too sensitive? “even if you didn’t mean it this time, i- i just hate hearing you say it…” your eyes locked into the floor, your fingers now fiddling with each other.
although deku didn’t always have the strongest memory, he never failed to remember that some things in the world were far too fragile to be left out there. that they were too sensitive and too kind and too innocent to be yelled at. but sometimes- and only sometimes, did they deserve to be punished.
he did his best to soften his voice before scooting closer and placing a much larger and scarred up hand on top of yours. “bunny, i really didn’t mean it this time. you know that there’s nothing wrong with being quirkless, right?” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, now revealing your tear-stained side profile.
head now resting on his chest as he sat next to you, wrapping his arms around you in attempt to comfort you, his heart beating through his clothes. “i’ve always wanted to be a hero, since we were little. pathetic how i thought i actually had a chance…” you mumbled into his chest, blinking back more tears and suppressing a sniffle. “when you got into U.A., and your quirk developed late, i was s’ happy fer’ you. i looked up to you and i- i always wa-wanted to be jus’ like y-you.” your words became more jumbled as your tears welled up and you hiccuped multiple times.
deku was then reminded of the significant fact that he never told you the truth about his quirk, and he never planned to. always wanted to be like him, huh? he allowed you to cry into his chest, enveloping you in all of the possible warmth that he could, feeling his opportunity nearing closer and closer.
“looked up to me? hah… bunny, i always looked up to you.” he tilted your chin up and wiped a tear away with his calloused thumb, his strong arms still around your smaller frame. “you’ve always been so kind and intelligent, and a lot stronger than me. hell, you stood up to kacchan when i couldn’t!”
a small smile worked it’s way onto your lips in response. “that’s my bunny, there’s that smile..” deku said, and you giggled, hugging him tighter than before. “aah, thanks deku.” you sighed, “maybe i was being a little, smh- dramatic.” you sniffled, shrugging your shoulders.
“not at all… hey, how about some of your favorite tea? you know i make it the best!” he said enthusiastically as you curled up with a blanket that he had gotten you on your last birthday. “why not?” you giggled as he walked into the kitchen and prepared your drink.
//
an unfamiliar, soft sensation could be felt on your wrists, restraining you from moving. the surface you were on was particularly soft and comfortable, and you hazily opened your eyes to be met with a large room. you looked up and spotted a pair of fluffy, pink handcuffs locked tightly onto your wrists above your head, keeping you restrained to the white, wooden headboard.
the four walls were painted a baby pink, a large mirror, decorated with swirls on the edges hanging in the middle, and the entire room lined with stuffies, trinkets, pillows and everything soft. from what you could see, the door had more locks on it than you could count with your blurred vision, and surely, heavy approaching footsteps could be heard from the other side of the door.
you held your breath and closed your eyes, turning your head and pretending to be asleep. your lips parted in a gentle breath for air, your body remaining still as the unknown person entered the room and locked the door behind them. you felt the right side of the bed dip as if someone was looming over you, attempting to get a better look at something.
“i know you’re awake, bunny. i heard you tugging at the pretty little handcuffs.” your eyes snapped open at the sound of your best friend’s voice. his eyes locked with yours as he set a plate down beside the bed and pulled you to sit up straight. “hey, pretty girl.”
“d-deku?” you stuttered, eyes widening as the feeling in your legs was now returning. “yes, my love?” he replied, the plate of food now in his lap as he began to cut the piece of meat for you. “what- what the hell is going on? why am i handcuffed to this bed? where even am i?”
“shh, shh… relax, bunny. eat a little first, i made your favorite!” he shoved the piece of steak up against your lips using the fork and you shook your head now. his knuckles gripped the fork so tightly they turned white, and so you complied and chewed. “remember how i told you i was renovating my basement? welcome! i made it all pretty and comfortable for you! i have all your favorite colors and i got all these fluffy plushies and blankets!” he said with too much excitement.
“ahh!” his eyes lit up, “we’re gonna have so much fun here, for the rest of forever!” you swallowed the bite you took before he was already offering you more, obviously eager to see you full. “deku… i’m still confused here. uncuff me, now.”
“tch… you’re really ungrateful, you know.” he muttered, continuing to feed you and caress you. “how am i ungrateful, huh?” you asked furiously, a complete fool for thinking you could even remotely amount to his level. you locked your eyes with his as he set the food to the side and forced you to drink water and remain hydrated. beyond his insane thought process and maniacal grins, even an idiot could see he still cared.
“first, i wake up in some completely random room, handcuffed to a bed! and then you come in here, offer me a meal, and then when i want to be uncuffed, im ungrateful? deku, you need to ex-” he leaned in a cut you off completely, your lips attaching.
you turned your head in attempt to look away, to which he grabbed your chin and held you still. his hands trailing down to between your thighs, effortlessly spreading them apart, your fighting back doing nothing at all. his hands tightened their grips on your inner thighs as his lips continued on your neck. he found your hopeless squirming adorable, but irritating.
“gah… stay still.” his tone firmed and his eyes narrowed, again looking into yours. you’d seen him mad before, of course, and you’d seen him determined and impatient and annoyed, but he was never so intimidating towards you. deku realized this shortly after, immediately softening his tone as he dipped his head down to between your legs, nibbling at the fat of your thighs.
“what are you- aah…” you gasped suddenly, your head snapping downwards to see his tongue run a long, clean lick over your slit from on top of your cute little panties. you knew you stood no chance against the number one hero, and you’d never admit to the growing dampness between your legs. your thighs threatened to grind together as his tongue and teeth continued teasing the edges of your panties, avoiding where you genuinely needed him.
“deku, pl-please don’ do th-this.” you gulped down, a tear making it’s way down your cheek. he looked up at you and smiled brightly and pulled down your panties, throwing them to the side, much to your confusion. “but look at you, bunny..” he ran two fingers along your now naked, glistening cunt as your juices coated them. “you’re completely soaked for me. you don’t actually want me to stop, do you? hmm..”he hummed.
“i… i don’t…” you struggled desperately to find words as your cheeks flushed red at the feeling of his eyes seeing things no one else ever has before. “right…” he smugly said both at the feeling of knowing how much you were second guessing yourself, and seeing you blush so furiously, spreading your legs apart even further, holding you down once again, effortlessly. “now just be my good bunny and take it.”
his words sent you over the fucking edge, your thighs grinding together for some type of friction as he laughed with a sense of superiority, now lying completely on his stomach and lapping at your folds. he wasted no time, and the feeling of his wet tongue slide across your womanhood was a sensation you were unfamiliar with. the last ounce of your strength was used when fighting back, and so you just lied there and took it, just like deku said.
your sweet taste drove him more insane than he already was. he watched as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your brows knitted together, and he swore he fell in love with you all over again. his thumb was brought to your clit before he ran careful circles over it, blowing hot air against your pussy when you attempted to squirm away, causing goosebumps to rise against your skin. you could feel him smirking against you, and at this point you didn’t really care.
“de-deku… i’m- what the f-fuck..” you were at a loss for words. obviously you knew what an orgasm was, you’re not an idiot. this time was different than all of the other times you had willingly explored there on your own. it was something so much stronger, so much better. “i know, bunny. go ahead pretty girl… cum for me.” he spoke, muffled against your juices and folds.
his command was all it took for you to feel a strong coil within your stomach snap, and your mouth formed a silent ‘O,’ shape as your body shook in pleasure and you saw white spots all over your vision. your orgasm washed over you like a crashing wave, your desperate and pathetic fingers digging into the soft handcuffs you still wore.
“deku? ‘m tired now…” you mumbled in response to him unzipping his pants and undoing your handcuffs. “already?” he said playfully, but his face was nothing but serious. you nodded and hummed quietly in response as he looked down at you, noting how angelic you looked in this warm lighting that he had set up throughout the room using small lamps, cozy lights, and candles. not real candles, of course- what if you got burned when he wasn’t there?
“we’re not done yet, pretty girl. on your knees.” he looked down at you as he stood at the foot of the bed, watching you crawl over to him. you looked up at him, unsure of what to do next. “why am i here?” his eyes widened in realization that you actually didn’t know what to do this time, and it only made him more excited and honored to be your first. he pulled his pants down a little more, revealing his black boxers and a huge bulge.
“go ahead, take it out.” you hesitantly reached towards the bulge and pulled his boxers down, his large and throbbing member springing up and slapping you right in the nose. “ow…” you mumbled to yourself, and deku laughed. “fuck, you’re so cute. now take it in your hands and pump it a few times, use that pretty mouth.”
you ran your fingers across the tip, not knowing how much that stimulated him. after hearing a soft grunt when you ran your thumb across the tip, dragging his pre-cum along a large vein down the base, you assumed it was a good thing. your eyes explored the strange new thing as he took a fist of your hair. you looked up at him and winced at the sudden sting in your scalp.
“suck on it, bunny. use your mouth.” he repeated again, growing impatient. you grew determined to make him feel good too, all thoughts of fighting back leaving your mind. your hand nearly wrapped around his entire girth, but he was too thick for your smaller hands to do so. once again, hesitantly, you kitten-licked the tip a few times as his eyes shut calmly for a moment. your warm mouth wrapped around the tip as he basked in the feeling of the wetness, you released it with an unintentional pop.
“like this?” you asked innocently as he looked down to watch you suck his length, moving down slowly as you attempted to take all of him in your mouth. you could only go halfway before he hit the back of your throat, and when you gagged cutely around him, the grip on your hair tightened and a quiet whimper escaped the back of his throat. you picked up the pace in response and sucked even more furiously as best as you could, repeatedly gagging and hollowing your cheeks. “y-yeah… aauhh, jus’ like that, bunny.”
you continued your sucking and gentle pumping and tongue swirling around him as he continued to yank at your hair and admire your tear stained face and saliva covered mouth and throat. “aah.. yer’ sure you’ve n-never.. mgh, done this before?” he struggled to speak due to his many grunts and moans.
you nodded quietly as you felt him harden and pulsate in your mouth, repeatedly hitting the back of your throat. he suddenly pulled your hair, hard, and you winced loudly. he got down to your level and cleaned your face using his hand and dragged a thumb across your lip, consumed in the way tears pricked at your eyes just for him. “wh-what was that for? ‘m not done.” you muttered, reaching towards his cock when he stopped you with a chuckle and a deranged grin.
“like it that much, hm? we’re not done yet, bunny. don’t worry.” you tilted your head, your eyes then widening. “y-you mean, we’re gonna..” you trailed off as he gently pushed you down by your shoulders onto you back, crawling on top of you and hovering over your body. he cupped your cheek with one large hand and used his knee to spread your thighs apart. he clicked his tongue and trailed kisses from your jaw down your neck to between the valley of your breasts, looking up at you with his emerald green orbs.
“don’t act clueless, bunny. i know you’ve thought about getting touched down here by a real man.” he chuckled, slapping his length against your cunt two times, causing you to jump. “d-deku, please don-” your own words were caught in your throat when he slid the first few centimeters in, causing you to gasp and tug roughly on your handcuffs. “g-get off.. aauh..” you whimpered, attempting to push him off of you, clearly doing nothing. you fought the growing sting in your velvety walls as he slowly inched in. 
“its okay, pretty girl. a little bit at a time..” he whispered into your ear, causing your walls to clench around his first few inches, to which he smirked and nibbled on your jaw.  “that’s it... good girl.” he praised as he filled you up completely. deku was so overwhelmed with the pleasure of his bunny wrapped around his cock, and the reality that he was your first that he forgot to wait for you to adjust before pulling out and thrusting back in.
“deku!” you cried out in pain as his eyes widened and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, hugging you into his chest. “i’m so sorry,” he rapidly apologized over and over again, claiming he lost control and would wait now. “i-it hurts...” you muttered into his neck before nodding a minute later, signalling he could now move. he slowly pulled out and thrust back in, his tip barely brushing up against your cervix. he moved once more and a swirling pool of pleasure slowly took over any remnants of pain. 
“mmph.. faster, deku.” you mewled out his nickname that you’ve had for him since you were little, and his heart picked up the pace before looking into your eyes and drowning in your expression as he slid in and out of you, your walls pulsating tightly around him, your thighs and his balls now soaked in your juices. “fuck... aauh, you’re such a good fucking girl for me, hah.” he said in a cocky tone, now slamming into you relentlessly.
“while we’re here,” he said, his pace growing sloppier by the second. “let’s get one thing crystal clear.” he continued, grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at his flushed face, his cock still pounding into your sloppy cunt, the lewd noises of him fucking you filling the room. “you’re mine, all fucking mine. this fucking pussy,” he said, punctuating his sentence with a light slap against your folds. “this body, that cute little expression in your eyes, and everything else about you belongs to me. not that blue-eyed shit-faced bitch.” he raised his voice causing you to flinch.
“we’re clear with that, aren’t we?” he asked as your eyes rolled into the back of your head due to him continuously hitting that spot with the tip of his member. “hey,” he growled, bringing a throat to your neck and squeezing it tightly, completely cutting off your oxygen. you clawed at his hand as best as you could despite your handcuffs, and your face grew a bright pink and almost purple. he hated slapping you or choking you or tying you up, and he hated himself for getting excited at that fearful look in your glistening eyes. he released his grip on your throat and you gasped desperately for air, glaring at him. “fucking answer me.” 
“y-yeah, mhnm...” you moaned out, still recovering from being choked. your pussy clenched around him as you felt your second, much stronger, orgasm nearing. he felt his own nearing as well, your beautiful moans not helping in holding him back. “yeah, what?” he smirked, knowing he was pushing your limits. “y-yeah, we’re ..mhgn, clear!” you yelled in frustration as he got a kick out of it, enjoying the idea of you thinking you could raise your voice at him. 
“you know what?” he pulled out rapidly, cumming all over your stomach before lying beside you, leaving you empty and unsatisfied. “wh-what?” you stuttered in shock and irritation, grinding your thighs together for some type of friction as you angrily yanked on your handcuffs. “now...” he kissed the tip of your nose and smiled at you brightly, as if all of this was amusing. “you don’t get to finish!” he exclaimed happily, giggling shortly after as you struggled and tugged at your restraints. 
“why?” you questioned the green-haired man, who said nothing. he wrapped a strong arm around your needy body and fought the urge to play with your clit using his fingertips. “why, deku? this isn’t fair!’ you whined as he chuckled dryly and tightened the soft handcuffs. “nothing is fair, my love. i have another shift now, so i’ll be gone for a few hours. need anything?” he asked in a condescending tone, knowing you would motion towards your dripping, aching cunt, which he wouldn’t help you with. he didn’t care to help your needy pussy.
he got up and grabbed the silver key he used to previously lock the basement door, glancing back at your distressed eyes one more time before leaving and slamming the door shut. 
“maybe next time you won’t get some silly idea in that pretty little head of yours that you can raise your voice with me.” 
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simp-cityxx · 3 years ago
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It’s Showtime~
A Toji Fushiguro x Fem! Reader fic (NSFW)
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Summary: Your lowkey malewife Fushiguro comes to pick you up from work, but you have some ulterior plans for the night…
Warnings: Praise, Degradation, Lots of dirty talk, spanking, breeding, possessiveness; other general smutty stuff (read at your own risk)
A/N: so yea, Nanami and Toji exist simultaneously in this story which doesn’t make sense (but that’s hawt so) but yk what else doesn’t make sense? THE WORD MALEWIFE AND TOJI BEING REMOTELY CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER! But yeh enjoy
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“Late again, huh.”
As you walked under the dim streetlight, Toji opened up your passenger door before crossing his arms with a blank stare on his face.
“Sorry. Nanami just needed someone to stay back and help file a few-“
He slithers a hand on your waist as the other tilts your chin. “Yeah princess, whatever.” Although his approach is far from polite, you’re far too focused on his touches to come up with a witty response. The way his words, gazes, and touches were coated with gracefulness but tinged with urgency drove you wild. It was far from erratic but not essentially delicate…this must’ve been the delicious taste of experience, and you were set for sails just thinking about it.
“What am I going to do with you…” he chuckles, pulling you into a kiss; one that feels almost too intimate. You grip onto his tight shirt with his toned muscles enclosed, leaving you practically gasping for air.
The kiss finally calms down and you hop in the front seat of Toji’s car. It always puzzled you how the man was able to afford such a lavish car on his own, Given the fact that he often took on the role of your “househusband”. You focused your attention as Fushiguro unexpectedly brushed a lose piece of hair out of your face. Even such a simple gesture had your thighs squeezing together, tensing up as the engine started.
“So why does that blondie keep working you so late anyways?”, He sits his hand on his chin.
“I think it’s simply the fact that im the only one who fully understands Mr.Nanami’s file systems.”
He chuckles, “Bullshit. Your boss totally has the hots for ya.” Trying to conceal his feelings on the matter, he opts to keeping his blank stare on the road.
You rolls your eyes, “You know it’s not like that.”
“Well if even if it was, you know I’m still your man,” he shoots you a toothy smile, god he was so hot when he smiled…
You giggle, rolling your eyes.
“You are so damn corny.”
The rest of the ride is quiet, as you’re caught up in your own head. This relationship with the sorcerer killer had been such a whirlwind, even after about three months. His arrogant and flirtatious demeanor never gave any indication that he would want to ‘slow down’, but somehow you were able to mellow him out. In some ways at least.
Before you knew it Toji was opening the passenger door.
“Baby,…..y/n”, He tapped your shoulder as you had kinda zoned out.
“Oh yeah sorry”, you stood up, only to immediately get tossed over the mans broad shoulder, sneakily hoisting you up with a hand on your ass.
“IM NOT YOUR FUCKIN WORM PUT ME DOWN!”
“Huh?”
Without batting an eye, he puts you down as soon as the front door opens.
……..
Walking into the bedroom, you decide to throw on something a little more…causal. (Something you really know will get him going). You grab one of Fushiguro’s oversized collared shirts, leaving it open to expose the skimpy new lingerie you had just bought. Although not something you felt totally comfortable in, one of your office friends insisted you buy it for a night just like this.
You sluggishly walk into the kitchen where dinner is prepared, stretching your spine with a heavy yawn, before glaring up at Toji’s ample chest, merely covered by a black apron.
The raven haired man looks towards you, almost as if he hasn’t noticed your change in attire. You sit down for your meal, a little disappointed at the lack of reaction from your man. You finish up dinner and sluggishly stumble to the living room. Toji is sitting with eyes unenthusiastically glued to the tv. As you make your way over to join him, you feel a tight grip placed on your hip, pulling you into a rather compromising position.
“I told you last time about wearing satin..”
The words crinkle in your ear, causing your spine to tingle. (He has a thing for satin, lordt knows why)
The muscular man begins to spank you, causing an unexpected moan to escape.
“Shhhh.” A deep sinister grin is painted on his face. “There’s no use in screaming anything but my name sweetie.” God, you hated the way his corniness turned you on.
He persisted, already pushing you to the brink as he increased the intensity through his large palm. occasionally he paused to admire his dirty work, placing the gentlest caresses on your stinging ass before causing you to whimper once again.
You were already panting when Toji positioned you in his arms bridal style. “Tired already dollface? But I haven’t had my way with you yet…”
Fuck. You clench your legs as the heat between your legs intensifies. The raven haired man picks up and shoots one of his grins, floppy hair covering his emerald eyes. You could just die right here.
Gently laying his prized possession on the bed, he positions himself in front of you as you undress him. He throws the apron to the side and wastes no time utterly demolishing the lacey lingere you had picked out for him.
“Toji! That was expensive!”
He merely shrugs it off. “Black card is on the desk babe. You don’t even need all this frilly shit to get me to fuck you.” You cross your arms and avert your gaze; pretending this isn’t the exact outcome you wanted.
“Pout all you want, but your body tells me everything I need to know princess.” As he whispers, He glides a finger over your drenched folds, causing you to release the most sickening moan to ever escape your lips.
“I never knew you were this much of a slut for me. We’ve barely even started…”
As much as you want to give a witty response, his electric fingers slip and stretch inside you, leaving you breathless. You burn all over as he leaves intense marks and kisses all over your skin.
“Stammering already?” He grabs your chin and leans in, pressed against your chest.
“How pathetic. Guess we’ll have to teach you a lesson in manners…” with that he growls, slinging your delicate legs over his broad shoulders. As he leaves kisses on your soft thighs, you shudder in ecstasy. He lets out a chuckle.
“You’re so cute when you tense up like that. Just relax; I’ll take care of it.”
Swiftly he begins unrelentingly devouring you. Kisses pepper your sopping cunt, accompanying the intoxicating hums he makes on your bud. Even with your screams and cries, he only lets up when you finally come.
“Good girl. Now can you do something for me?”
As you nod, he sits you down on the edge of the bed. He positions himself in front of you, giving you a clear look at his egregiously long and thick member. It’s a wonder the thing fit inside you.
“I’m just in need of a little warmup. Think you can handle it sweet heart?”
You nod, regaining your composure.
“Yes sir.”
With that, you take as much of his 13 inches as you can fit in your mouth, but as he hits the back of your throat you begin to choke. Noticing, he slides himself out.
“Don’t overextend yourself little whore. Just the tip is fine…”
After affirming his words, you use your methodical tongue to play with his cock, causing him to release little fucks and hisses from the back of his throat. The way you fit him so well always got him going.
You giggle, “who’s stammering now?”
Teasing him was a big mistase. He furrows his brow and pulls away from you leaving you hungry for more.
“Enough. Lay down skank.”
There was no saving you now. It was much too late. You just guaranteed you’d need to use one your sick days just to recuperate. He pins you down by the wrists and starts biting hard onto your chest, causing you to whimper.
“You thought you were real slick huh.”
“I was only-“
Before you can even finish your sentence, the space in between your legs is stuffed full. He pounds hard into your throbbing cunt, amused by your gasps for air, and leaning down occasionally to leave you kisses. He was just too good, from his dirty talk to the slightest of touch, he just knew every little way to turn you to mush. He grinned as he put a hand to your stomach, feeling his cock penetrate you to your highest capacity. He was so proud have pleasured you in such a way, falling in love with the ways you screamed his name, the way your clever ass could turn into this love drunk fool with no one but him. The love he made between your thighs was proof enough that you could be no one but his. Toji may have been a master of his craft, but the way you wrapped around him even left him begging for more.
As you bucked your hips into him, Toji positioned you on top of him.
“It’s time baby.”
He released more of his intoxicating sounds as you both found yourself on the brink of climax. You pleaded for him to stuff you full, so he did just that, speeding up by grabbing your hips before one final thrust, leaving your thighs shaking around his burning shaft. You were all his as you laid there, dazed by just how amazing the feeling it was.
“You did so well for me today honey. I’m glad you learned your lesson.”
He placed a kiss onto your forehead before getting up to draw you a bath.
Oh lordt have mercy </3
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someonestolemyshoes · 3 years ago
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Hi! Have u done any pregnant Hanji and overprotective daddy Levi already?? Yep i think im craving for more domestic levihan family, im sorry 😭
Im a bit new here in the community, and when i read ur works, i fell in love with it already, thank you for existing!!! 💖💖💖
Hello anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed my other fics :3 Sorry for the very long wait for this one, I've been struggling to find the time/motivation to write lately, but I'm feeling a little better and I figured I'd get to work on some of my prompts. Starting here!!
It ended up a little less domestic and a touch more angsty than I had originally planned, but only for a moment--happy endings all round! 
Warning: this does start off with non-graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting, I hope that doesn't bother you!
Hange had been feeling unwell for days.
It wasn't an uncommon occurrence—Hange tended to wake up feeling nauseous some days, most often when she'd neglected to eat a decent meal the evening before—but this was the fourth morning in a row now, that Hange found herself bent over the toilet bowl in the early hours of the morning, heaving up nothing but acid and empty air. 
She retched until her stomach ached. There was nothing left to bring up, but her gut still rolled unpleasantly and there was a telling tremor under her tongue that warned her it might be best to stay in the bathroom a little while longer. She settled heavily against the wall to catch her breath.
It didn't make any sense. For most of the day, Hange felt fine. A little tired, maybe, but that was only to be expected after spending half the night every night on the bathroom floor. Tonight, no doubt, would follow the uncomfortably familiar routine: Hange would dry-heave a little longer, until the queasiness abated enough for Levi to convince her to come back to bed, and then she would toss and turn, too warm beneath the bed clothes, until she could fall into a restless sleep. She'd wake up feeling a little groggy, a little bleary, unreasonably hungry, but after a coffee and some breakfast she would feel well again. Perfectly normal.
Like clockwork, Levi appeared in the doorway just as Hange had flopped herself back over the toilet. She felt his palm, cool and soft, press against the back of her neck. Hange gathered her hair back from her face with both hands, braced her elbows on the toilet bowl, letting out a groan of discomfort as her stomach twisted, threatened to revolt again. Levi's thumb rubbed soothingly against her neck.
Sure enough, she brought up nothing more, but she gagged plenty, and found herself gasping for breath by the time she leaned back against Levi, aching and exhausted. His lips pressed into her damp hair.
Levi was as silent as always. His touch was pleasant, his presence welcome. Hange needed the hand he offered to pull her to her feet, needed his reassuring grip at her hips as she brushed her teeth and rinsed her mouth out. Her quaking knees felt unstable beneath her. 
He lay facing her after they got into bed. Hange was sprawled out atop the covers, shifting restlessly to find the coolest patches on the bed. Levi watched her for a moment, then said, "This isn't normal."
Hange only grumbled.
"You said you'd book an appointment with the doctor."
Hange grumbled again. Levi ticked his tongue and rolled to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Call tomorrow."
"If I didn't know better," Hange said sluggishly, "I'd say you were worried about me."
He scowled and rolled onto his other side, his back to her now.
"No, just sick of waking up at half four every morning to drag you back to bed."
Hange managed a small, wicked snicker, but shuffled across the space between them and pressed an apologetic kiss to the back of his neck.
"Must be dreadful," she said. Her voice sounded raw, hoarse. She buried her nose into his hair and took a long, deep breath. Levi grunted, but reached back and pulled her arm loosely over his hip. He knotted their fingers together loosely.
"Call them, Hange."
Hange gave his fingers a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
"I will."
**
Hange prided herself on being a reasonably intelligent person. She had two degrees, was working towards her doctorate, and already had her name on a small handful of peer-reviewed research papers. She spoke multiple languages, read dissertations for fun, kept a (in Levi’s words) disgustingly realistic human skeleton in a box under the bed for study purposes, and had spent the better part of the last 26 years of her life studying human biology and physiology.  
How she had not predicted that she might be pregnant was almost unfathomable. 
She left the doctors office in a daze with an appointment card and several pamphlets in hand. She had been referred hastily to a midwife and the hospital would soon be sending out a date for an ultrasound—“As soon as possible,” the doctor had said, “since you’re not sure how far along you are.” 
The thing is, Hange had been on the same birth control pill for years now. Forgetful as she may be about many, many things (like eating, and bathing, and washing the dishes and taking out the garbage and and and), Hange was religious in taking that damn pill at the same time every single day. She had never missed it, not even once. Without a regular cycle, Hange had no way of predicting when they had conceived, and the doctor was eager to make sure no essential landmarks in her antenatal care were missed, if they could possibly help it.
The thought had never even crossed her mind. It seemed ridiculous now, in hindsight. The sickness was one thing, but now that she thought about it, there were a whole host of small oddities that Hange could easily attribute to pregnancy. Lethargy, and bloating, heartburn, and she had been peeing more than usual—Hange groaned, and scrubbed her hands over her face. She should have suspected, at least. Should have put the pieces together sooner. 
But, stupid and naive as it may be, she hadn’t thought it possible. Why worry about it, when Hange had taken consistent precautions to avoid it? 
She felt queasy the entire bus ride home. 
It wasn’t that she was against the idea of having children. One day, maybe. When she had finished her doctorate, got herself a steady, well-paid job. When she and Levi had moved out of their tiny, cramped apartment into somewhere bigger, somewhere more suited for a family. 
And god. Levi. 
This was something they’d never really talked about. For his part, Levi never seemed all that interested. He was good with Hange’s nieces and nephews, and Erwin’s son adored him, and he hadn’t showed any express dislike for children, but—well, tolerating other peoples little brats and raising your own are two very different things. 
What if Levi didn’t want the baby? What if he did? Hange wasn’t even sure herself what she wanted to do about the whole situation—what if she didn’t want it? What if, after some reflection, Hange decided now wasn’t a good time? Could they even afford a baby right now? Hange’s money was tied up in her education, while Levi was just making ends meet at the office. They got by well enough with just the two of them, but add in a baby? A whole other person, entirely dependant on them for support? Hange could barely feed and bathe herself, some days, never mind responsibly care for a child. 
By the time the bus pulled up near the house, Hange felt more distressed than ever. Levi, at least, was at work until the evening, so she had a few more hours to herself to mull everything over, but the entire situation made her stomach clench and churn unpleasantly with every new thought. 
The prospect of having a child was terrifying. The prospect of not having this child was nauseating. 
Levi had left the flat in pristine condition when he had left for work, but Hange barely had the energy to feel even a little guilty as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes, leaving both strewn about the floor. She dumped her bag and made her way sluggishly through to the bedroom. 
Levi had made the bed. The sheet was stretched flat over the mattress, the pillows perfectly fluffed and set against the headboard. Hange’s nightshirt, one of Levi’s old, baggy shirts, too stretched and threadbare for him to wear, had been folded neatly and left on her side of the bed, her slippers lined up smartly with the bed frame. For some reason—hormones, she told herself—her eyes watered, and a lump swelled in her throat. She sniffled pitifully as she stripped off her clothes and pulled on the shirt, clambering into the bed and tugging the sheets until the cocooned around her. 
Hange passed the rest of the day tossing and turning in bed. She tried to nap, but her mind was too restless, occupied with thoughts of the baby, with the concept of having to tell Levi when he came home. She could try to lie, say the doctors had done some blood work, that she was waiting on the results of some test or other, but Levi knew her too well. She could never lie to him, and her despondent state would give her away before she had the chance to say anything. 
The sun was beginning to set by the time she heard Levi’s keys in the door. She felt exhausted, head aching with all the thinking, considering, weighing up her options; with running over every possible outcome she could imagine. Keeping the baby, getting rid of the baby, Levi not wanting the baby, Levi leaving over the baby—every scenario she could imagine was worse than the last. There was only one idea that she had hardly dared entertain, in fear of disappointment if things didn’t work out. 
She heard Levi call out for her, but gave no answer. She listened, curled up in a ball on her side, as he shuffled around, no doubt picking up her coat and shoes from where she had abandoned them. And then he made his way towards the bedroom, steps soft on the plush carpet. The bedroom door creaked open. 
“Hange?” 
She made a small, warbled noise under the bedclothes. Levi came to sit on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. His hand found the curve of Hange’s hip. 
“How was it?” 
Hange made another noncommittal sound. She wiped her nose and eyes on the sheets, but didn’t dare show her face just yet. She wasn’t ready. She had never prepared for this conversation, never even imagined it before today. It was too soon. Not enough time to rehearse. 
Levi’s hand moved to her back, rubbing lightly up and down her spine, before dropping to the mattress behind her. He leaned over her, and she felt his lips press warm and gentle to the point of her shoulder. A fresh wave of tears poured over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face. 
She tried to be quiet, but something—the shake of her shoulder, perhaps, or the shudder of air as she tried to take a steadying breath in—gave way to her crying. Levi moved off the bed, but Hange felt his fingers prying lightly at the sheets, pulling them down until he could get a good look at her face. He was kneeling by the bed now, face level with her, and he looked at her with worry pinching deep creases between his brows. 
“Oi, what’d they say?” 
Hange bit the inside of her lip and rubbed her damp cheek on the pillow. If Levi was bothered by her using their bedding as a tissue, he didn’t show it. He simply looked at her, eyes darting over her face, searching. It occurred to Hange then how this must look to him. She had gone to the doctors due to unexplained, violent sickness, and now she is in bed, hours later, still crying about whatever news she had received. 
“I’m fine,” she said. Levi’s tense shoulders relaxed a fraction, but his face remained pinched, frowning and concerned. Hange wanted to tell him quickly, simply, like ripping off a plaster, but the words would not come. She opened her mouth, but her throat constricted painfully. 
Eventually, she said, “my bag. There’s some stuff in my bag. Have a look.” 
Levi gave her a somewhat quizzical look, but stood, dropping a quick kiss to her temple before going to fetch the bag, and dipping his hand in to fish out the contents inside. 
Hange watched with her breath held and her stomach clenched as Levi pulled out the handful of leaflets and turned them over, looking at each one in turn. His eyes widened fractionally as comprehension dawned on him. His lips pressed into a thin line. Leaden weight settled in Hange’s gut. She curled into a tighter ball, pressing the bedsheets over her mouth and nose, waiting for him to gather himself enough to say something. 
After a moment, he spoke. 
“That’s all?” 
Huh? “Huh?!” 
Hange disentangled her arms from the sheets and sat up, staring at him. Levi moved to sit on the edge of the bed again, a scowl back on his face, though there was an intriguing flush high on his cheeks as he whacked her lightly on the top of the head with the leaflets. 
“Stupid four-eyes,” he said, exasperated. “Crying like that. I thought you were dying.”  
“I’m pregnant.” Hange said the word slowly, carefully, in case Levi had somehow misunderstood. He had the audacity to look at her like she was stupid.
“I can see that.” 
“And you have nothing more to say about it? That’s all?” 
Levi shrugged a little at her. Aside from the small patches of colour in his cheeks, Levi seemed wholly unfazed by the revelation. 
“It’s just a baby. We can handle a baby.” 
“That doesn’t terrify you?” 
Levi scrutinised her for a moment, before he said, “are you scared?” 
“Yes? Yes! How are you so calm? We can’t afford a baby—we don’t have the time for a baby? Where will they going to sleep? We don’t have a spare room. Can we get time off work to take care of a baby? How will we pay for childcare when we can’t be around?” 
“Hange,” Levi said, putting a stop to her rambling. He watched her with a pinched stare. “Do you not want it?” 
Hange had spent the majority of the day mulling over this same question. Staring a family was a huge, life-changing commitment, something that required  careful forethought and planning. They had not had that luxury. Hange was pregnant now. She had doubts and fears, more than she could ever express, but the idea of simply having a baby—of having this baby—wasn’t upsetting. In the small, brief moments she had allowed herself to imagine a future where she and Levi were parents, where they weren’t wanting for money or time, where things were well, she felt happy. Giddy. The prospect was almost exciting. 
“It’s not that,” Hange said earnestly. “I do—I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I—I do want it. But I just—we had no time to prepare. We have no savings, we have no space, I’m a mess. How are we supposed to take care of a tiny person? Babies are hard work, Levi.”
“You’re already hard work.” 
Hange laughed weakly, and wiped at her face again. Levi pressed a kiss to her raw cheek. 
“We’ll figure it out,” he said.
Hange leaned into him, sighing quietly. 
“Is this the kind of thing we can just figure out?” 
Levi hummed, shrugging his shoulder. His fingers skimmed up beneath Hange’s shirt, splaying over the small of her back and pulling her closer. 
“Why not? We’ve done a good job bullshitting our way through everything else.”  
Hange laughed lightly and bumped the side of her head against Levi’s.  
“This is different, Levi. This is a person. A tiny little person who is going to need me and you to do everything for them. What if we can’t do it? What if we mess up?” 
“Hange.” Levi pulled back a little and his hands came up to grip either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. “Stop. I know all that. But if you want the brat, and I want the brat, we’ve got no choice but to get on with it.” 
“I know, I know, but—wait, you want the baby?” 
Levi maintained eye contact with her, but it seemed to take a concentrated effort to do so. The flush of his cheeks deepened a little and his lips quirked at the corners. No doubt to compensate for the show of emotion, he pulled his face into his customary frown. 
“It’s fine,” he said. Hange fought the urge to roll her eyes and caught his hands as he lowered them from her face, pulling them into her lap. 
“Are you saying that because it’s already too late, or do you want to keep it?” 
Levi’s face took on a look of constipated strain. He curled his lip as though in distaste, then hooked a hand around the back of Hange’s neck and pulled her face to his abruptly, smacking a kiss to her lips. He let his forehead settle against hers and stroked his thumb over the hinge of her jaw. 
He fought to keep his tone neutral, but Hange could hear the happy tremor in his voice as he said again, “It’s fine.”
For the first time since hearing the news that day, Hange allowed herself to feel excited. To accept the idea that she and Levi were about to start their own bizarre little family. That Levi was still with her felt incredible enough, but to know that he was pleased—it was more than she could ever have hoped for. Hange gave a wet laugh and kissed him again. 
“Are you allergic to looking happy?” Hange asked as they broke apart. Levi clicked his tongue and pulled back to flick her square between the eyebrows. She laughed a little louder and leaned to wipe her runny nose on his shoulder. Levi muttered under his breath, but didn’t push her away.  
“Okay,” Hange said, after a moment. She sat back and pushed her hair back from her face. “Okay. We’re having a baby, then.” 
Levi’s rubbed the smile from his lips with the back of his hand, nodding. “We’re having a baby.” 
Hange sunk down to flop back over the pillows. Levi looked down at her, head tilted, chewing the inside of his lip. Hange reached up to brush his fringe off his forehead, warmth spilling in her chest when he held her hand close and turned to kiss her palm. 
She smiled a little playfully, and freed a leg from the sheets to dig her toes into his ribs. 
“If I’d known you wanted kids I would have been significantly less stressed, you know.” 
Levi quirked a brow at her. 
“I’ve told you that before.” 
“No, you haven’t.” 
“I have. At your sisters wedding.” 
Hange racked her brain, searching for the conversation. She remembered the occasion, and she remembered that she and Levi had somehow ended up babysitting Hange’s family brood. She remembered Levi, wrestling to keep her youngest nephew on his lap while the eldest, still only five or six at the time, was clambering up the back of his chair, sticky hands tugging at Levi’s collar. Hange fought hard to recall more of what was said, but could remember nothing at all of Levi announcing that he had wanted one of his own. 
“You said these brats aren’t so bad,” Hange said slowly. 
Levi nodded at her. Hange waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t, only looked at her like there was nothing more he needed to say. 
“That’s it? That’s your idea of telling me you want kids?” 
“The hell else could I have meant?” 
Hange dug her toe at him again but Levi caught her foot this time, pushing it firmly down onto the mattress. Hange reached for him with both arms instead, curling them around the back of his neck and tugging him down quickly. He toppled over her with a quiet oof, and Hange rolled them quickly, straddling his waist and dropping her weight down onto him. 
“That is the kind of thing you say clearly, Levi! These brats aren’t so bad—you’re ridiculous!” 
Levi wrestled with her arms a little longer before giving up and bringing his hands instead to rest low on her hips. He watched her with a curious expression on his face, something open and soft, and then his eyes roved down to her abdomen and his thumbs brushed inwards, beneath the hem of her shirt, stroking over her lower belly. 
This time, he didn’t fight his smile. 
He reached up and pulled her down by the neck, and kissed her soundly. Hange melted against him, welcomed the press of his tongue between her lips, shuddered pleasantly when he nipped at her bottom lip. She went with him willingly as he rolled them both over, nudging a knee between her legs and settling his weight against her. 
She was spreading her legs to make space for him, when he paused suddenly, and pulled back, leaning over the bed and scooping through the discarded back of leaflets. Hange, winded and dishevelled, watched him incredulously as he flicked through the contents of one, then tossed it aside and opened another. 
“What are you doing?” 
Without looking up, Levi replied, “Checking.” 
“Checking what?” 
“I wanna know if we can still—” he waved a hand between them, and went back to searching. 
“We’ve been—” Hange mimicked his gesture, “—up until now anyway.” 
Levi looked up at her, looking mildly horrified. He held up one his open leaflet and said, “You’ve been drinking alcohol, too. You’re not supposed to do that. And look, here—you’re not supposed to overwork. You’ll have to take on less hours at the university. And you’ll eat. Proper damn meals. Every day.” 
Hange flopped back against the pillows, eyes rolling, watching as Levi picked up each new leaflet in turn, pointing out every little adjustment that Hange would have to make. 
“This one says you should get eight to ten hours sleep per night. Every night. And not so much coffee, the caffeine’s bad for the baby.” 
The baby. It sounded surreal. It sounded ridiculous. Levi shifted to sit against the headboard beside her after opening the chunky little What to Expect While Expecting volume Hange had been handed while leaving the doctors. He seemed thoroughly engrossed, and seemingly unaware when one of his hands reached out to pull Hange’s hair free of its ponytail and sink into her hair. She hummed happily as his nails scraped over her scalp. 
Things were still scary, and Hange was still uncertain about how this whole adventure might turn out. But Levi was still with her, and Levi was happy, and that—
—Well, that was good enough. 
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pianorexic000 · 4 years ago
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Sweetspo Saturday
Hi y’all, so today is sweetspo Saturday.......
it speaks for itself. By the way, none of these are mine. I take no credit I have 0 creativity.
I dream of collarbones and thigh gaps, of hips jutting out and ribs just visible, casting shadows on porcelain flesh. I dream of crop tops and denim shorts, of thigh highs and sugar highs. And when I lay in bed at night, counting the calories of the day before my mind can’t help but wander, and I press into my doughy stomach, feel the hips hiding underneath, and remind myself how far I’ve come, and how far I still have to go.
Please listen, I know, I know it’s hard but listen, focus, you, you the most beautiful person on this whole entire planet you are going to make it, I promise you sweetheart, you’re going to make it. Think about it, think about how skinny you’ll be, how happy you will be, how you are going to be able to wear what you want, how you are going to be able to eat what you want and no one is going to make you feel bad for eating, no one. They’re going to be jealous, so fucking jealous, jealous of how you look and how you feel. They’re going to envy you. So stand up, keep your pretty head up and go. Exercise, drink water, eat less, eat healthy, sleep, do yoga, dance around. Get skinny and be finally happy. Please be finally happy.
You’ve been so disappointed in yourself lately. You’ve cursed those girls with a fast metabolism and regretted so much, sweetie. Countless of times you’ve thought, planned and wished to be skinny. I know you want this so badly, honey. But it’s never going to be given to you, sugar. You have to work for it and make yourself proud! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
I know you’re very impatient with your weight-loss. You want to lose it NOW and would do anything to wake up tomorrow at you ugw. But that’s never going to happen, doll. It’ll take time, but you will get there, sweetie. You just have to be persistent and never give up. The road is very long, and there will be days where it’ll feel hopeless, angel. But i promise you that those days where you feel incredibly sexy and comfortable in your own skin are just around the corner. You’ll get there baby, but it’ll take time. So don’t beat yourself up.
You’ll look good in everything; you remember that bikini with the cute print? yes, you’ll look beautiful in it. you won’t look like a fat pig.
people will be jealous; they’ll envy you. you’ll become thinner while others are getting fatter.
you’ll be dainty; you’ll be the lightest in the room. everyone will be able to pick you up effortlessly.
others will compliment you; people will look at you and say “wow, have you lost weight?” “you look great!” “i wish i looked like you.”
you won’t be able to keep more than a cup of food down; you’ve trained your body, you and your body both know its limits.
you’ll have power; you can can control how you look, you’ll have control. self control instead of eating everything in sight. you’ll be proud when you refuse a chocolate bar someone is offering.
are you going to keep saying “i’ll do it tomorrow”
or are you going to start today?
you’ll get there sweetie, make them regret the day they dare call you fat; they’ll start talking GOOD behind your back; “she is losing so much weight omg” “ i wanna look like her.” “im so jealous of her tiny waist.”
make it happen, you cause the gain of weight
and the loss of weight.
It's Okay!
You were really bad this weekend weren’t you? You ate fatty food and cheated on your diet? I know you bash yourself for pushing yourself further from your goal, but it was just Easter and you were enjoying spending time with your family. Unfortunately that included eating. Thin is all you think about cutie, why would you stuff your face uncontrollably like that, sugar? You can’t stop now, i know it’s hard but it’ll be worth it in the end.
Meanspo
Dear You,
You’ve grown up being the “big” girl. You’ve grown up being the “I want seconds” girl. You entered college being the “let’s eat out because it’s easier” girl.
When will you be the “I eat healthy” girl? The “people can pick me up” girl? The “I love my body” girl?
Today? Oh, right, you say tomorrow. Funny, that’s what you said yesterday.
It’s YOUR fault you’re fat. You don’t control your fatty urges to binge and stuff your face. One day, you’ll regret that. And that day is TODAY. If you regret it, then make a change. Skip that meal. Eat less calories. Exercise and burn what you have consumed and stored from your past pathetic eating habits. Get rid of your fatty urges. BECOME SKINNY…Become beautiful. Because if you don’t start today, you’ll only hate yourself tomorrow… again.
Do it. Do it so you can wear cute short shorts without everyone looking at your thighs and being disgusted.
Do it for that bitch who always called you fat at middle school.
Do it for that fuckboy who never looked at you as girlfriend potencial.
Do it so you can be confident.No seriously you’ll never be confident with that big tummy dude.
Do it so you don't ALMOST DIE in fitting rooms.
Do it for the cute clothes.
Do it for the summer.
Do it for the pool parties and how all of your friends will be SHOOK at your perfect body.
Do it for that life little baby. You deserve it. You deserve so much happiness.
Imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your perfectly decorated bedroom. You’re doing school work (all A’s of course), and since the lighting is good, you stop studying for a second and take a selfie.
You notice your collarbones are perfectly peaking out, and your chest bones are slightly visible. You have no makeup on but you still look absolutely gorgeous. Your flawless skin (that you got from not eating junk food all the time) looks great on your camera. Your thin arms look especially toned in this picture, and your smile is unforgettable.
You decide to post it to Instagram, and it instantly gets likes and comments saying how gorgeous you look. You want to keep studying…but the amount of likes and attention is distracting!
You think to yourself “Amazing how my life has changed. 30lbs ago I barely got 30 likes. My grades were bad and I had horrible acne…it’s so great what being thin can do to a person”
One day I won’t have to suck in
One day I’ll sit down and not have belly rolls
One day my thighs won’t touch
One day I’ll be able to see my ribs
One day I’ll step on the scale and smile
One day I’ll be able to smile at my protruding collar bones
One day I’ll wear the clothes I want
One day I’ll be confident
One day I’ll be skinny
do it for the boy who leaves your snapchats at read. imagine how quickly he’ll reply when he sees how good you look in your new body. do it for the girls you envy, the girls who show up in crop tops and short shorts whilst you hide behind a baggy sweater. imagine how proud you’ll feel when you can finally wear what you want and look just as good, if not better than them. do it for the people who bullied you about your weight and the boys who turned you down because of it. watch them gawk and whisper among themselves at how much weight you’ve lost. do it for the mean girls, the ones that walk around school like they own the place, the ones who’s parties you never get invited to, the ones that all the boys want. prove yourself to them. soon they’ll notice you and you’ll be too proud to care. own your new found confidence, throw your own parties, feel wanted. do it for the boy you’ve been crushing on since the first time you met. make him want you just as you wanted him. laugh at yourself as he chases after you. watch him suffer just as you did. do it for the bikini you’ve never had the body to wear. make your old self proud. wear that bikini. finally feel good in it. go to the beach and the pool and show it off. it belongs on you. do it for yourself. do it for your own happiness and do it right now. you deserve this. it might take some time and maybe you’re growing impatient. but it’s okay, everything good takes time. so be safe, stay strong, and don’t give up. this will be worth the wait. trust me.
I literally cannot fucking wait until I’m thin. I can’t wait to not feel like the outsider in my friend group. I can’t wait to not feel like the ugly friend. I can’t wait to be as thin as my best friend and for people to not see me as a charity case. I can’t wait to be able to go shopping and not worry about what will hide my fat. I can’t wait to see my collarbones and feel great in shorts. I can’t wait to be able to post selfies confidently from any angle and get as many likes as all the thin girls from school. I can’t wait to be someone else’s thinspo. I can’t wait to be happy with myself. I can’t wait to be thin.
Okie lovey, I know you might have had a rough couple of days or maybe you’ve been doing everything right and you just need a little pick me up. That’s okay too. I’m here for you, maybe not there physically but I’m still here. Make some tea, and take a bath; while you’re in there light a few candles and take time for yourself. Paint your nails read a book or simply think about bettering yourself. You’re almost there, I’m so excited for you! I’m going to be there when you cross that finish line (UGW). Finished with tea? Are you hungry? No. Exactly, chin up sweetheart, you got this. I love you
10 Reasons I want to be Thin
1. A flat stomach looks so good in anything. 2. No more armpit fat. 3. Finally have a thigh gap (again). 4. Feel beautiful and in control 5. people you already know will ask you how you did it, new people you meet will fall in love with you. 6. Go on adventures and have fun without worrying about your fat jiggling around. 7. Tan outside or at the lake without wanting to die because you’re too fat for a bikini. 8. Going out to parties and making friends because you’re confident and beautiful. 9. Not wanting to cry every time you see your full body in a mirror/ reflection. 10. Not crying in general anymore. Finally being happy.
11 Reasons Why I'm Doing This
1. To be the skinny friend
2. So I can be lifted up and be called light
3. To wear anything and still look cute
4. To have pretty bones to show off
5. To hear those words; ‘Have you lost weight?’
6. To not feel guilty when having a sweet treat (occasionally!)
7. To wear tight jeans and not have a muffin top
8. To not want to cry every time I look in the mirror
9. To not feel embarrassed in a bikini or swimsuit
10. To sit on someone’s lap without fear of crushing them
11. To finally feel happy with myself
They are in the kitchen making dinner. It smells so good, and all you want to do is have some. But would that make you happy? Would that food actually do anything for you? Sure, it would taste good. But as soon as you swallow, it would be gone. You’d take a drink of water, and the taste would wash away. Five minutes of fun, and then you’d be full. Full of food, regret, hate, shame, and disgust. Today would be yet another day wasted. So go ahead, eat the food. Be the fat tub of lard you always have been. Or don’t. Don’t eat the food. Be a day closer to your goal.
The choice is yours.
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blu-joons · 4 years ago
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Numbers ~ Im Jaebum
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Jinyoung’s eyes looked across at you as soon as you walked into the cafeteria, waving you over to join him at his table. “Don’t sit alone, come and join us, we’ve got a spare seat.”
“Alright, as long as you’re sure.”
As you walked over, your eyes met Jackson’s and Mark’s, smiling warmly at the other two elders of the group. And then you looked across to Jaebum who sat behind the other spare seat, as his eyes remained firmly to the table and the food he was eating.
You let go of a groan as you sat down beside him, keeping your focus on Jinyoung who sat opposite you. From the corner of your eye, you could see Jaebum shuffle a little further away from you, placing his hand between you both. You tried hard to brush it aside, ignoring what he was doing and focussing on the others.
“How have things been for you? I’m guessing that you’re still single.”
It was the question they always asked you whenever they got a moment with you, you never really understood why they were so interested in your love life. Beside you, yet again Jaebum shuffled, clearly agitated by something.
“Nothing has changed since you asked me three days ago, you don’t have to worry about that,” you sighed, “I might just end up dating one of you one day.”
“At least we know that you’d be safe and well looked after,” Jackson smiled from across the table.
Your head shook as the five of you continued to catch up on the things that had been going on. Mark was the first one to leave the table as his schedule called him, followed a few moments later by Jackson who too had his schedule filled up with things to do.
As the numbers around the table decreased, you began to feel more and more awkward sat beside Jaebum. Jinyoung was oblivious to the tension between you both, a tension that you had no idea what the reason behind it was.
“I’m going to have to head off soon,” Jinyoung whispered after fifteen minutes, “is that alright?”
Your head nodded, instinctively standing up as Jinyoung did, only for Jaebum to continue to sit beside you. “You don’t have to go just because Jinyoung is going.”
Your body froze, dropping back into your seat as Jinyoung walked away from the table. You looked across at him with a small smile, watching as he continued to study you closely and the empty plate of food that was in front of you.
Neither of you muttered a word for some time, your eyes looked in any direction other than at each other. You were never quite sure what it was about Jaebum that made you so awkward in comparison to the rest of the members.
“Are you still hungry?” He suddenly asked you.
Your head nodded back at him, placing a hand against your tummy.
Before you had the chance to properly respond, Jaebum was up on his feet and walking back towards the large table of food that was at the entrance of the cafeteria. You tried desperately to try and see what he was doing, but the crowds were far too large.
You continued to stare across at the table until his figure appeared back in front of you, “I grabbed some more for the two of us.”
“Oh, thank you, that’s kind.”
Jaebum placed two plates of food down in front of you both, making sure that the one in his right hand was placed in front of you and the one in his left in front of him. You pulled it closer towards you, inspecting his choices closely.
“How did you manage to find so many things that I like?”
“I’ve paid attention to the things that I’ve seen you eating before,” he proudly smiled, tucking into his own plate.
Your head nodded, staring at him, perplexed. “I eat basically anything, it’s not hard to guess what sorts of things that I like.”
“But I know that a sandwich is what you always leave until the end.”
“How did you ever recognise that in me?” You questioned, “you’ve really taken me by surprise there, maybe you do pay attention after all.”
The two of you quickly slipped back into another one of your silences, leaving you confused. You watched Jaebum closely, until eventually you couldn’t help but let the question slip, trying to figure out what was going on.
“Nothing,” he stuttered in response as soon as you finished speaking, “I know that you’re a lot closer with some of the other members, so I just prefer to stay out of the way and let you do your own thing, I don’t want to force anything.”
“I get on with all of you guys.”
His head nodded, smiling weakly. “I know you do, but I know that Jinyoung is your favourite, I’ll always be your second favourite member of JJ Project.”
You scoffed lightly, “JJ Project will never compare to Jus2 I’m afraid.”
“But do you prefer me to Yugyeom?”
You pressed your finger to your lip, refusing to give him an answer. A loud chuckle came from him as you continued to toy with him, shaking your head as he tried to push you for an answer, one that you’d never satisfy him with.
“I should probably get going too soon,” he sighed, finally caving in and accepting you were going to remain quiet. “Make sure you eat everything that I brought for you.”
Your head nodded back at him, “all of it will be gone, I promise,” you smiled, watching on as he stood up from the table, picking up his plate. “Jaebum, you know you’re not the bottom of the pile, I like you just like the rest of the guys.”
“I know,” he smiled, tapping his hand against the top of your head, “I just like to wind you up, I love how quiet you always get around me.”
Your eyes widened, pushing gently against his arm causing him to stumble. “I’m quiet because you’re always so awkward around me, you don’t have any effect on me like you think you do.”
“I’ll prove you wrong,” he called out before spinning on his heels, waving back at you before swerving around the crowds to leave the cafeteria, and you, alone.
You continued to sit, finishing off the meal that Jaebum had so kindly picked up for you. Things were definitely a lot quieter without the boys around, suddenly the table felt so empty, and your heart felt so low.
Just as Jaebum predicted, the last thing you picked up was your sandwich, yet as you took the first bite, you found yourself tucking into something very unfamiliar. You pulled the sandwich away from your mouth, noticing a piece of paper stuck in it.
Your eyes rolled, pulling out to see that a blank inked scribble was on one side. As soon as you read through it, you couldn’t help but let go of a giggle, turning back to the door, but Jaebum was already long gone.
I wasn’t brave enough to give you my number in person, so I thought I’d give it to you when I knew I wouldn’t be around. I don’t want to be awkward around you anymore, I want to be me, give me a call, and let me take you out sometime. Here’s my number, Jaebum
---
Masterlist
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mxvladdy · 3 years ago
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heyy i just read your fic Case of the Munchies on ao3 and im Loving it!!!! its amazing!! i was wonder if youre accepting requests and if you haven’t done it could you write the same for the rest: mammon, levi, satan, belphi, dia, barbatos and smth for simeon and luke (ofc platonic) like how angles have a true form and that means they can never relax around mc and how solomon has so much power at his fingertips he can just snap and end them or smth like that? pretty please and thank you!!!!
A/N: Of Course! Of Course! I already did Mammon and Levi HERE so I’ll do the other four in this request! You sent me a lot of good ideas and I’ll sprinkle them out into other requests soon!
Hope you like it!!
Case of the Munchies prt 3!
Word Count: 4.2k
Characters: Satan, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos
TW: Mentions of eating and cook humans, very mild gore
Satan
As the only full-blooded demon of the seven, he has thought about it...just hypothetically of course. When you were new to the Devildom he did find your scent more appetizing than the others. It’s a good thing he has the most restraint and control of all his kin, especially when it comes to his more base urges.
He doesn’t hide this knowledge from you. It’s readily available in the library and his own room in the history books. He just won’t bring it up. So if you don’t say anything, he won’t either. What would he say anyway? “Yes, I’ve thought about it, up until it was outlawed it was a staple of our diet after all…” Ye, probably not the best thing to say.
When you finally brought it up he was exasperated. Did you have to bring it up during the few hours he had alone with himself? He wasn’t going to lie but the thought of hurting your feelings would just about do him in.
He will alleviate your worries if you have any. If Satan was anything, he was genuine.
Mini Fic
His wine curdles in his stomach, turning sour along with the take-out he had nabbed for the two of you to enjoy tonight. Drinks and dinner were becoming a staple in your T.V. night tradition. If one of you had had a rough day you would drop by your favorite shop of the hour and pick up a meal to share while you vent.
Today in particular had been a shit day for him. Failed experiment after failed experiment, and one bottle that didn’t explode on impact with the potion he dropped. Sigh. At least your comforting words soothed his wounded pride a little. You chuckle at his escapades glad to see he is not hurt at least. It was nice to have someone to see the humor in something that normally would have dampened his mood.
“You’re a pest.” He laughs at you while snapping his takeout chopsticks in half to use. “I need sympathy-hours of work wasted.” You snort into your own bowl of udon.
“You need words of praise like Beel needs another stomach.” Satan gasps in mock insult pointing a sauce stained chopstick at you.
“How dare you insult your host! After I toiled over this meal of-” What did he get exactly? Honestly, when he placed the order he was near boiling with rage at his careless fumble. It was to be a surprise for you, something to give you a bit of magic while supervised by himself. He knew how frustrated you were with your lack of magical ability in class so he wanted to gift you something grand. Now he has to wait months to try again.
Ah, well...nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.
You watch him sulk over his soup dumplings, his mile away from the comfort of your company and his room. “Come on blondie.” You poke him with your foot before burying them under his pajama-clad thighs on the couch. “Eat your ‘hard earned’ meal before I do.” You snatch up his D.D.D forgetting your own food for a moment to set up your favorite streaming service to cast to his small T.V. “Want to watch a bunch of humans fail miserably at baking?”
"I thought you would never ask."
Satan feels you stiffen in his arms two hours into your bake-off marathon. Your takeout boxes are cold and forgotten on his coffee table, a bottle of wine gone between the two of you. He glances down at you curious.
You were transfixed on the screen. The novice baker on screen was struggling to keep his monstrosity of a cake upright. It was the annual Halloween episode and this fool went for a Silence of the Lambs inspired cake. A good concept really, but very poorly executed. The fake body parts and sugar blood weighted the pastry down dangerously. If he were, to be frank, the cake was also tacky as hell. Heh, he'd have to try to make this for Lucifer.
"Does his abuse of the piping gun offend you that much?" He jokes wrapping an arm around you.
Your laugh is breathy and lacks its usual warmth. "It is excessive isn't it?" You look up at him. "Hey, Satan-have you ever eaten people before?"
"Uhh…" Great, how eloquent. This came out of nowhere, did Lucifer set you up to this? No-no you wouldn’t. Would you hate him if you knew? “I have.” He admits through clenched teeth waiting for your reaction.
“Didn’t Diavolo ban it?” He can tell you are doing the mental math in your head.
He chuckles dryly. “Well, you never asked if I did it legally.” You move away from his touch and pause the show. “I mean...I did it legally! ” His mouth runs freely, his brain screaming at him to shut up.
“Satan.” You cross your arms unimpressed.
“It was a new law and I never meant to eat it for the most part. It was at a time where I was still struggling to control myself.” Young and stupid as Lucifer had said defending him every step of the way when he would slip up. Was it sold on the black market now? Yes. Did he know how to get it? Sure, but he would never nor would he tell you about it either.
You nod thinking about his words. “I can empathize.” Oh, thank the Devil. “Have you thought of eating me?”Ahhh. “Oh my God, you have.” You chuck a pillow at him with a laugh.
He catches the pillow and clutches it to his fiery hot face. “Everyone did at first!” If he was going down then he was going to take every one of his brothers down with him. “I wasn’t going to act on it! It was a spur of the moment-why are you laughing!”
“Sorry, sorry.” You wipe at the tears in your eyes wishing you had your phone to take a picture of his blushing face. “I kind of figured you did.”
Satan looks at you incredulously. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more torn up over this?”
You shrug. “After everything we’ve been through? I admit it was a shock to think at first but I mean, you would have done it by now right?”
“Well, thank you?” He flops back on the couch, still clutching the pillow to act as a barrier between you two. He’ll take it as a compliment.
You scoot close, nudging his knee with yours. “You ok?” He nods. “Can I touch you?” He nods again eagerly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and squeeze. “Sorry, I made you uncomfortable.”
Satan chuckled, dropping the pillow to hug you back. “It’s ok.” He peaks your forehead. “Now, with that out of the way. Shall we finish this?” He swipes up his phone to hit play. You nod, flinging your legs over him to snuggle closer. “Good, I’m dying to know how he tries to save that thing. I’m putting money on icing.”
“You know.” You break the silence once more, unable to stop yourself. “I wouldn’t be opposed to being eaten...in some ways.”
Belphegor
After your first *ahem* encounter, he doesn’t bring up the whole food thing. He is afraid that if you learned about it, it would be the last strike for you and his relationship. Perhaps it’s paranoia on his part but better safe than sorry.
In all honesty, he didn’t eat it that much anyway. Killing humans was something he did often in his youth as a demon. A stupid attempt at revenge on his part. It filled the holes in his hearts to hurt those he believed killed his sister.
But to eat their flesh? Disgusting. He tried it a few times and it turned his stomach with every mouthful. He just hated them too much to even stomach them. He’s mellowed out with time but still never got a taste for it.
When you asked it was a shock but welcomed in a way. Like he could finally get this weight off his shoulders every time he looked at you.
Mini Fic
“It’s gross.” Belphie yawns, jumping up to sit on the high garden wall. He bends down to help you up placing you gently next to himself. The wind catches you by surprise threatening to topple you back from the wall before he rights you. He tosses his sweater over you with a nod of satisfaction.
You snuggle into the fleece lining burying your nose into the fabric. It smelled of elderberries and honeysuckles. Belphie watches you curl up into his side with a fond smile. “Seriously, you all are nasty.”
“Ouch!” You push his shoulder with a grin. “I feel like I should be offended on behalf of all humans.”
Belphie snorts, looking up into the bright colors of the night sky. “Good. Be offended. You, humans, are slimy.” You squawk indignantly. “It’s true, never in all my years would I willingly ingest it.” He shudders theatrically.
“Rude.”
“Shouldn’t you be happy? Lest I eat you?” He growls playfully, taking a swipe at you. He pulls you close to kiss the pout off your face. He stops only when your face is hot and your smile threatens to pull a muscle. “I’ll keep you safe, always.” He vows resting his chin on your head.
“Do you think other demons would try to eat me?”
“Have you met my twin?” He teases. He takes your jab to his ribs with a smile. “But if one of those lesser demons even tries to breathe in your direction I’ll kill them.”
“Ok, Mister sleeps till dinner.” You joke. His vow warms your heart a little, chasing away the small bit of fear that had rested itself in your chest. You saw how some demons looked at you at R.A.D, the longing and hungry looks got to be a bit much sometimes. A few older demons would discuss it loudly when they knew you were close by. Apparently, it was a long standing tradition of demons eating humans both body and soul when a pact was concluded.
Imagine what those brothers would do to them…
You shake your head hugging Belphie closer. You had nothing but his word that he would keep you safe, yet that was enough for you. Besides, he wasn’t one to follow the rules even at the best of times.
“I’m serious. You're off limits for everyone.”
You nod into his shirt, closing your eyes to enjoy the peace of the moment. “I’ll hold you to it.”
Diavolo
It is so far from his mind that when you say something it is like a rug was taken out from under him. He could be diplomatic about it, but you deserve better than a half-truth.
He was a wild child in his youth. Sometimes he would overindulge in his father’s heritage and gorge himself on his newfound powers and privilege. He would dine with the elders and eat with abandon under their proud eyes.
He regrets it now, in your company it brings up a slurry of emotions. Sometimes when he looks at you he sees flashes of his past behavior.
The urge is stronger in him than the brothers, a constant nagging tug in his guts, but he is strong. Stronger both in willpower and sheer physical prowess than them so the pull is more of an annoyance than a burning need. He can temper the hunger in other ways if need be *wink*
He fears what you might think of him if you ever found out the truth, but however you take it he will handle it in stride. He loves you too much not to.
Mini Fic
Dinners, when Diavolo could eat alone, were a rare and special treat. The solace of just being allowed to exist without constantly checking his posture or presentation was a blessing, just him, his thoughts, and a good meal. It was nice to have no paperwork to worry about staining this time or a tedious meeting where he couldn’t savor his meal. No, no this was good. He looks down at his heavily laden plate and smiles. Well, almost… Pulling out his phone he snaps a quick picture and sends it to you with a simple question. Join me?
Private meals were wonderful, but with you, they were perfect.
You arrive faster than he expected, flushed face and clutching a stitch in your side from rushing over. He almost felt bad before he saw the eager look in your eyes. Barbatos helps you with your school bags and coat before placing another plate of food across from the young lord. He winks at the prince before disappearing back through the door.
“Thank you for the invite!” You beam taking your seat across from him. “I hope you don’t mind that I'm not dressed for the occasion. I was just wrapping up a study session with the boys.” You look down at your rumpled lounge clothes.
Diavolo waved his hand disregarding your concerns. “I would emulate you if I had the time.” He looks at his own pressed school uniform. He had another meeting this evening, much to his distaste. “You look rather comfortable.” You smile in delight before tucking into your own plate.
You eat in a comfortable silence reading the room well enough to tell that he wished for some company but not needless chitter-chatter. Barbatos arrived moments after you put your fork down and left with the plate leaving behind a delicious smelling hot drink. You couldn’t put your finger on the flavor but it tastes spicy like cinnamon and coats your throat like warm honey.
Whatever was in the drink seemed to work some magic on the prince. His shoulder droop, his back sinking into the chair as his legs stretch out till they are close to brushing against yours. He starts talking over the drink, eyes slowly lighting up with delight. You drink, nodding along with him as he builds up steam. It was nice to see him so unguarded and light. You listen to him talk about simple innocent topics. You knew how he tried to have these conversations with the others to no avail. The brother’s always tried to stay clear of him, and Lucifer simply dismissed these things most days. Barbatos and the angels were a bit better but still listened mostly to placate him.
“Ah!” Diavolo stops mid-sentence as his door opens once more Barbatos holding a small platter in his gloved hand. Dia claps his hands in delight. “I’ve been wanting to have you try this with me for forever. The human palate is so different, but I hope this is tasty.”
“What is it?” You eye the covered plate curiously.
Dia says a word in infernal. It is harsh and guttural in his throat but his delight was evident in his tone. “It is like...a roasted nut? Sorry, it is difficult to explain but it has been a favorite treat of mine since I was a boy. I hope you like it too.” He opens the lid with little ceremony and tilts the bowl to you. Inside were several golfball sized pods piled on top of each other. Even from across the table you could feel the molten heat radiating from the porous black shell. It looked...ugly. Like a hunk of dried lava. You eye it suspiciously as Diavolo picks one up with his bare hands and bits it. The shell cracks under his sharp teeth, a fang catching in a weak spot with a noise that makes you shiver. Underneath the thick casing, you could see a dark red and fleshy core. He hums in delight pulling put the meat of the seed and discard the shell pieces onto an empty plate. He makes quick work of the innards already reaching for another by the time you casually pick up a seed.
The seed itself was dense and warm to the touch. You squeeze it, noting that the porous coating felt like a mass of steel in your hand. “Dia-how do I open it?” No way you could bite it, not without breaking your jaw in the process.
“Allow me.” He takes it from you and effortlessly cracks it. “It is a tradition to break them with teeth, instead of hands or utensils. Something about a show of strength. I just find it fun.” He shrugs, handing you the broken seed.
“Fun!” You marvel at his pearly fangs. “Those are some big chompers.”
“All the better to eat you with my dear.” He chuckles.
You blink in shock, eyes widening. “Would you? Eat me?”
Diavolo’s smile drops. “No.” He lies on reflex, his political nature kicking in. “No-no wait.” He shakes his head. “I...at a time would have without hesitation.” He feels you recoil. “It was common practice back in the day. To the common demon it was a great meal and for the ruling class a show. He looks down at the broken fragments of shell on his plate. Breaking the shell was far too reminiscent of other things. He squashes the unwanted wave of memories coming up. Instead, he looks up at you.
You sit quietly mulling over his words. You haven’t run yet. “Why did you stop?”
He leans back with a loud exhale. Why did he stop? There were many reasons, none he wished to divulge into at the moment, but he had to say something. “I grew up, and began to resent and regret it.” He used to read human stories of demons and his kind. They hurt their characterizations of him and his people. Yet, they had all been scarily accurate. He wanted to prove that they weren’t stagnating beasts, slaves to their desires. Even if it wasn't a popular opinion.
“I see.” You pick up the seed again. “Thank you for telling me. You didn’t have to.”
“But I wanted to, and to apologize… such admissions must have ruined your appetite. If you wish to retire-”
“Is it weird if it didn’t?” You cut him off. You felt-not apathetic to the knowledge but close to it. It confirmed a lot of things for you and put certain things in perspective. You still felt safe with him even with this new bit of knowledge. Without a second thought, you pop the treat into your mouth. You gasp in delight. The flavor and texture were not what you were expecting, but was delicious all the same. “Can you open another for me?” You push your plate over to him.
“Of course!”
The food was as wonderful as his company.
Barbatos
You knew he cooked it. He probably knows a million different ways to prepare a human. He is also very blunt about his dabblings in the market.
He doesn’t eat it, hasn’t ever. He sees no reason to, especially since he doesn’t need to eat anyway there is no temptation. He did find the meals he created beautiful though.
Once he lived for the praises of the courts and his young lord. He was a master at all mediums he cared to work with. Time, decorum, or of the flesh.
He is 100% unashamed of his past with the dark side of the Devildom’s history. In fact, he is damn near proud of it. He is a demon and it was a part of his life, if that frightens you, well there is nothing he can do about it.
He’ll entertain your questions and will try to put any lingering worries at ease. Just don’t expect to be coddled when he does.
Mini Fic
Barbatos had very few personal pleasures in his life. His schedule simply didn’t have the space for such things. So why even bother looking for a pastime. It wasn’t until Diavolo gifted him with an old worn cookbook did he find it.
Cooking was a necessity for his prince, but with that little book, it became something he looked forward to doing. Slowly, he began to seek them out, filling his growing quarters with cookbooks and loose-leaf slips of paper. He enjoys reading them. Each book was a little time capsule into the cook's life and memories. Could a mix of spices really remind someone of the arid heat of their motherland? Or does following a certain way of aging meat really honor the writer's late grandfather’s memory? He tries them all, each recipe a little invasion to a happier time.
He wrote his fair share of cookbooks too in his day. Simple modifications to things the young lord liked to the odd machinations of his own imagination. He got good at experimenting with flavors and textures over the years, mastering certain cooking techniques and flavors just for fun. He didn’t share many of them, a lot of his recipes were just too complicated for most. Luke was allowed to look at his pastry books only. The little cherub was enamored with his techniques and wanted to learn as much as he could in the short amount of time he was in the Devildom. Admirable, but he made sure to keep some of his...less savory books away from the boy. He shudders to think what Simeon would do if he scarred the young angel.
You are the only one who has full access to his collections. Whether you liked to cook was inconsequential to him. He simply enjoyed sharing this interest with you. Some nights you would take it upon yourself to be his “sous-chef”. Which meant you sat in the corner of the kitchen and read out the ingredients and steps for a recipe he knew by heart. Sometimes you would add in extra steps in an attempt to stump it. Cute...but ultimately failed each time. So, most nights when you tagged along to the kitchens you just flip through his collection, reading his immaculate scribblings crammed into the corners of the pages or where he scratched out certain ingredients for more demon-appropriate foods and more sustainable options.
You had gone through many beautiful books before you found it. The cookbook was small and inconspicuous compared to most. Just a simple black cover with a well-worn spine. What made you take notice of it was just how dusty it was. That wasn’t like him to do. Barbatos would never let something get so dirty. You wished you never had opened it. You weren’t stupid by any means, but after reading a few pretty graphic recipes it had unsettled you. So you withdrew from Barbatos trying to forget about the book tucked away deep in the bowels of your school bag.
“You’ve been distant.” You choke, hand flying up to your chest as you swear your heart skipped a beat. Damn demon. Should put a bell on him. “What’s wrong?” His eyes are piercing, cutting away at your feeble defenses.
“Nothing…” You fiddle with your bag’s strap. Your eyes drop to the floor taking in the differences between his polished shoes and your scuffed boots.
“Of course not…” You could hear the skepticism in his voice. “I trust that if there was something wrong you would feel safe enough to confide in me.” His words hit like a ton of bricks on your shoulders. He sighs seeing that his words got no reaction. “Please?”
Wordlessly you rummage in your bag and thrust the book into his chest. “Sorry. It shook me up more than I thought it would.”
Ah. He knew this book all too well. For a time it had been his favorite, one to pull out with Diavolo had guests or a deal that needed to be sealed. He accepts the book, noting how much your hands shook. “I understand.” He slips the book into his breast pocket making a mental note to hide it in one of his lesser used rooms. “Would you like to discuss this? In my room perhaps?” You follow with a timid nod.
“Where shall we begin?” Barbatos asks the moment he closes the door to his room.
“You don’t seem perturbed.” You frown. Barbatos shrugs, pulling the book out and opening it. He had a lot of good memories stored here. Some of these were still considered signature dishes, oftentimes a visiting dignitary would lament to him about the good old days when he could show off his craft when flesh was plentiful. He takes pride in that still to this day even. For as much as he loved you, he would not be ashamed of this.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” You shake your head when he says as much. “It just confused me. Do-do you see me as food?”
“I never saw humans as food, no more than I see demons or angels as it.” He picks at an imaginary bit of lent from his pant leg. “As for seeing you as food no. No matter how sweet your lips are, or how honeyed your words can be.” He smiles, taking impish delight in your squirming. “I merely did my job as a butler for my lord.”
“Oh- sorry for not coming to you sooner.” You felt foolish now. Barbatos waves it off, pleased to have this issue put aside so quickly and cleanly. “Wait-" You gasp as his words finally sink in. “Have you prepared angels before?”
He flashes you a mischievous smile putting a single finger up to his lips. “Perhaps~ do you wish to read that too?”
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wonswondrland · 3 years ago
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warning! gaslighting, mean jay (apologies), + discreet mention of sexual abuse
washing machine heart
now recalling that night... i stood in the mirror, looking at the red silk dress i had just bought. i turned and adored how it hugged every curve, making me look mature and feminine. i smiled at my image, finally being confident. i grabbed my makeup bag, looking for my usual red lipstick. i easily found it but hesitated picking it up, remembering jay was coming home tonight. i settled for a pink shade and applied it with ease. i walked out of our bedroom and into the kitchen, making sure the food was warm and ready for when jay would show up. i fiddled with my fingers, waves of nervousness washing over me. i hadn't seen jay in a few days. he told me he was staying at the dorm but, after calling jake, i found that it was a lie.
- y/n + jake’s phone call
hey jake.
hey y/n. what's up?
i was just wondering if jay was there? he said he would be staying at the dorm for a few nights about two days ago.
no, we haven't seen him outside of practice.
oh, okay. thanks
i decided that jay knew best. he wouldn't lie to me unless he had a good reason. but a part of me was worried. while laying in bed that same night i heard his ipad vibrating. i didn't want to invade his privacy but something was telling me i needed to see it. i got up and grabbed the ipad and watched his text messages with his ex in realtime.
- jay + his ex’s texts
jay, when are you coming back?
in little while babe
okay, when do you go back to that little whores home?
on friday
ugh, do you have to?
yes, she's my fiancé. i have to.
when do you plan on telling her about this?
never. after the wedding, this is done.
she'd be so devastated.
all this time you were messaging me.
using her to get over me.
you'll break her jay park
no, she's okay
she understands what im going through
she's good for me
you're just as naive
see you later pretty boy
i shut the ipad off and threw it across the room, not worrying if it broke. all i could think was why? why am i not enough? why can't i do better? i don't deserve him. everything was my fault. that was how i felt. which is why i wanted to fix it. i bought a nice dress, wore his favorite scent, and cooked his favorite meal. i needed to show him that i was worthy. that i can deserve him.
at the time i was blinded. i thought that this was what love was. you helping your partner and sacrificing everything.
the door unlocked and my nerves were at an all time high. i saw his tall, tired body. he had faint pink smears on his face. just make up from rehearsal. he placed his jacket down on a hook and walked straight into our room. no hello, no hug, not even a kiss. he's just tired. i decided to follow him into our room. "hey baby. how was practice?" "fine." "hmm. well i made dinner. and i, uh, i bought this dress. i thought you might like it." "mhm, it's nice darling," he said, not even bothering to look up at me. he searched the room for something. he started to look worried. "what are you looking for?" "my ipad. i need it for work. have you seen it?" "yea, it's somewhere in here. i threw it after seeing your texts." he paused. "you saw what!?" "your texts. it kept vibrating and i knew i had to see it. it's okay. i understand. i need to be a better fiancé." he looked at me, dumbfounded. "so you went through my texts!?" "no. i just saw the recent ones. i couldn't look beyond them. i didn't need to," i said walking out of the room. "y/n, that's not okay! you didn't trust me!?" "of course i did." "i can't believe you right now!" he sat on one of the stools at the bar and ran his fingers through his hair. he was frustrated. it was my fault. "it's alright jay. no need to get upset. it's over with. are you hungry?" "i already ate." "oh. well um, i don't know." he sighed. "you alright?" i said sitting next to him. i gently rubbed his back and looked at his face. "it's just hard. i just can't get out of the old routine. but we're getting married soon so i'll have to get out." i nodded. "well i'm always here. maybe you should stop talking with her?" "no," he said, with slight annoyance in his tone. "you always give me advice and it's never good. don't you know how i feel!? this is hard, okay!?" i stayed silent. "i'm gonna go to bed," i whispered. i got up and went to our room. jay came in after me immediately taking his belt off and hovering over me, pinning me to the bed. "j-jay. not right now." i gently pushed his chest and tried to slip out from under him but he gripped my hip with his hand. "jay," i whispered. i closed my eyes tightly, terrified of what was going to happen. was he going to force me to do what i hated? it was a painful process with him only gaining. no romance, no connection, just pain. it hurt. physically, mentally, and emotionally. "fine. i guess you don't love me," he said as he got off of me and started changing into comfier clothes. "that's not true," i said sitting up. "i do love you. i just don't want to do anything right now." "whatever. if you really loved me you would." he finished changing and went out of the room. i sighed, feeling guilty. i walked into the living room and saw him lying on the couch. i decided to just go to bed and deal with it the next day.
in the middle of the night i woke up and needed water. i saw jay hadn't come back to the room. it hurt me a little but i knew we just needed to settle things and it would be okay. i got up from the bed and just as i was about to open the door i heard sounds from the living room. i froze. reality had hit me. tears fell. i swung the door open and i saw jay with his ex. i couldn't bear to see it but i had no choice but to break it up. "JAY HOW COULD YOU!?" they both stopped and looked horrified. "y/n, please." "NO! IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANNA DO THEN GO AHEAD." I threw my ring on the floor and ran back to my room quickly packing my things up into a suitcase. since jay technically owned the apartment all i had were clothes, makeup, and other things i had brought from my home. i grabbed the suitcase and my phone and left. as i walked out the door i saw jay and his ex fighting. i ignored them and left, crashing at the boys dorm for the night.
it's been about five months since then and after talking with the boys and seeing a therapist i saw what my relationship truly was. for weeks i wondered why not me? why her? why was i not enough? but that soon changed after learning the truth. i was being used. like a washing machine, only using it when need be. tossing me and using me like an object. that's what he did. he used my washing machine heart.
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hitoshisbabygirl · 4 years ago
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Authors Notes ♡: ah winter is here and that means Christmas cheer! This collab here made me feel like making my story sweet instead of steamy for now. I really love just the idea of a snowed in confession, just having fun, playing games and then just admitting how much you love your bestfriend , roommate or just that special person in your life anyways ~ I hope you enjoy reading this and much as I did writing it ~ bunny ❥
Warnings :None! Just soft confessions , a bit steamy at the end but I think that’s it!
Word count : about 1k!
Paring(s) :Shinsou Hitoshi x F! Reader
I’m thinking of making a part two for this! (With our nsfw but fluffy ending!) ♡
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Sleigh Bells
H. Shinsou
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Looking out of the window , [ ] sighed as she saw the snow pick up outside. She didnt thinkthe news would be so correct with this upcoming storm, the last few days being clear as they kept predicting this mess staring to happen. Hearing the door to her apartment door jiggling , she went to get up until her wild haired roommate had gotten the door open himself, orchid colored eyes making contact with her [ ] ones as she gave him a msile , him giving one back as he placed down food , starting to disassemble his outside wear. “Its...very cold outside” He laughed as [ ] helped put up drinks and open their food. “I can only imagine Toshi” she giggled as Hitoshi gave a small huff to the nickname. “Youre always gonna call me toshi huh?” hegave the shorter girl a smirk as she laughed, pushing his shoulder. “Aw dont act like you hate it , you love me and my nicknames” [ ] declared as he waved her off , flopping to their couch.”I'm surprised they were right this time’ HItoshi started as [ ] agreed, sipping the drink she has with her meal.”Its crazy how much snow is outside, also thank you for dinner, i was starving” She said as he started to eat his own diner, the two of them falling into a comfortable silence.
The two of them have been friends since their first year of high school together finding out that they both ended up wanting to be in the hero course , with her ending up in 1-A and him going to the normal corses until he was able to move up. The two of them became closer as they had more classes as they got older. Now living in an apartment together made eachother realize how much fun together. It also made them realize how much each person had grew. Hitoshi was already tall when they were in highschool, but not he easily towered over her, and for [. ] she was always beautiful to Hitoshi but all of the confidence she gained as they kept through school pushed his shy friend to be more social and comfortable around their friends. He didn’t understand why his heart would beat fast when she looked his way , laughed , smiled or simply was around. Without warning the lights allumianting their kitchen flickered and turned off. “Hey Toshi...we paid the bill right?” [. ] said with a hesitant laugh as he looked out the window, slowly seeing others lights turn off as well. “Well if we didn’t...neither did the entire city” he laughed back, looking at the forecaster as it called for heavy power outages, their apartment being right in the middle of it.
“The power should be on hopefully in the morning at this rate” he said as a groan fell from [. ]’s lips “So if we have no power, what should we do with us being in the dark?” And with that question came candle lights, board games and stories. Hitoshi and [. ] began making a game and tell night, where the two of them talked and played some of the games they kept whenever their friends came over. Sitting there by themselves and making the most of everything made Him realize how much he loved her company, and to his own dismay how much he had a crush on her. Seeing that he was spacing out she called to him, snapping him back into reality “Hm I sorry..what were we talking about?” Hitoshi said as she game him a gentle smile “geez you really weren’t listening, I was just saying how much I’m enjoying this, it’s been a long time since we got quality time like this together!” [. ] giggled as he internally felt his heart grow.
Sucking in air he leaned forward and gave [. ] a hug as she froze, hugging her violet haired friend back, giggling as she hugged him tighter. “Shinsou giving affection, what is this? I guess I wish this storm had came sooner in” she said as that stopped him in his tracks, his eyes wandering to hers as he gave her a genuine smile “I love when you call my name” He admitted softly as [. ] felt her face heat up. “W-what are you talking about, you little perv” She teased as he just pulled her closer, tilting her face to his “I love a lot about you [. ] , your smile, your laugh, the way you make me feel, everything. I love our friendship.. and I don’t want to lose it by having these feelings but...I think I’m in love with you already...” Hitoshi spilled closing his eyes as he couldn’t take looking at her so close.
Feeling a warm sensation to his cheek was the last this on his list ashe cracked an eye open, soft , loving eyes looking back at him “Well im glad you admittted that...because I’m in love with you toshi..” [. ] admitted back as the violet haired man gave her a bigger smile, crashing his lips against herself with a hard, but gentle kiss as she let out a gasp, kissing him back just as sweet until they pulled apart, both pairs of eyes wide. Starting to apologize, Hitoshi opened his mouth to only be shut by another kiss, this one having more passion than his own. Starting to feel his head swirl , Hitoshi picked up [. ] and placed her in his lap, making the smaller girl squeal as they got hot and heavy on their living room floor. [. ] being able to finally get her lips free she laughed, giving the male under her a smack on the chest and they both tried to catch their breaths.
“Wow...that was...hot? Definitely warmed me up” [. ] giggled as she went to roll off of him only to be pulled back down, a shiver going down her spine as the once innocent and shy Hitoshi was now looking like a hungry wolf at the sight of prey, a smirk crossing his lips. “Then let me make you really warm now hm? What I have in mind will..definitely keep us occupied as well” He whispered in her ear as she bit her lip, going to move away until a soft pain of lips touched her neck...
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al3x1ss · 4 years ago
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Just a friend to you
Chapter 15: What are you doing New Year’s Eve?
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“DOLL HURRY THE FUCK UP IM HUNGry!”
Opening the door, she stares at Osamu as he finishes screeching. Hearing the door click, he turns suddenly, his face going from annoyed to immediately brightened.
“Y/N!” He says, his voice going high pitched as she giggles, giving him a quick hug, then hugging both Suna and Atsumu. Bending over slightly, Atsumu allows Y/N in his back, the 4 now traveling to a cafe with Y/N holding Suna and Osamu’s pinkies, Atsumu keeping his arms tight around her legs.
As the 4 eat, Y/N is quick to stare at Atsumu who has checked his phone about 6 times in the past 5 minutes of eating.
“Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Atsumu?” The boy drops his phone, his eyes immediately widening as he hears a small collision from where his phone was dropped. He picks it up, dusting it off and placing it down before looking at the girl across from him.
“One of my friends is around the area-“
“You have friends besides us?”
“SHUT UP Y/N!” He sighs, stabbing another piece of his meal with his fork as he looks at her again.
“I met her when we were partners for a project and we just clicked and stayed as friends.”
Suna and Y/N being oO-ing as Osamu pokes his side repeatedly, with Atsumu swatting his twin’ hand away quickly.
“Wait- a lady friend? What kind of sane female would deal with your piss ass willingly?”
“YOU DO!”
“No, I was forced by Mother Miya.”
After the endless bickering, Suna takes the check in hard, heading to the counter as the twins and Y/N wait outside.
“Would you guys mind if said lady friend joined us?”
Samu shook his head no, while Y/N also said no, speaking for herself and Suna who had just exited the doors of cafe.
After 2 minutes of waving, a new face comes towards the group with a smile and a wave. Atsumu waves back, going towards and and smiling.
“Guys this is Keiko, Keiko this is my twin Osamu, that’s Y/N, and then that one over there is Suna.”
Hearing his name, Suna’s eyes lifted, falling on the girl in front of him. His eyes widened, afterwards a quick smile following. Turning his eyes to his feet, he scratched the back of his head.
“Oh my god!” Y/N’s eyes widen as the girl, a smile immediately coming on her face.
“I love you’re earrings so much, Keiko!” Both girls smiled at eachother, Keiko getting on one knee.
“I have determined that you are sweet as fuck as that I want you to marry me.”
“I have determined that I accept.”
With Keiko getting up with help from Y/N, the two link arms, beginning to walk to their next destination. The boys blink repeatedly, staring at eachother then staring at the two girls giggling.
“Samu what the fuck just happened?”
“I don’t know Suna, I don’t fuckin know.”
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The twins argue over the frog hat with Suna holding out his phone, getting content for his Instagram followers is what he says is “his only passion in life”. Covering her mouth, Y/N laughs, pulling out her phone with her other hand to see a text message.
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“Who’s Keiji?” Keiko asks, Y/N’s eyes now facing hers.
“Well-“
“LET GO OF THE HAT YOU OLD MAN!”
“AT LEAST MY HAIR DOESN’T LOOK LIKE I GOT PISSED ON!”
“OH YEAH MR.MY BONES HURT AT PRACTICE CUZ I GOT ARTHRITIS! WHAT KINDA EXCUSE IS THAT?”
“BETTER THAN THAT SAD EXCUSE OF YOUR DYE JOB!”
Y/N’s eyes widen, gently grabbing Keiko’s wrist as the two back away from the boys. After being enough away, Y/N sighs, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Long story short, best friend of 3 years, I liked him for 3 years, confessed and got denied, and now we just talked a few days ago after like a month of not speaking and it being awkward.”
“Well I mean, do you still like him?”
“Uh-“
“Alright lads, let’s bounce.” Atsumu says, walking up with Suna and Osamu behind him, the girls looking at eachother before nodding.
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The 5 enter a small pizzeria, with Atsumu and Keiko’s stomachs growling as soon as they entered. The 5 laughed, with Y/N handing her jacket to Suna while she went to order with Osamu.
“Hi! Can I get a large cheese pizza with a side of-“
“Suna?”
Hearing his name, he lifted his head, looking at the other two at his table to see them also looking around. Turning to look at the door, he sees Kaori with her fellow manager, along with their very own setter and ace.
“Oh, hi guys.” Suna says with a wave. Atsumu and Keiko look up to see who Suna was talking too, with Atsumu smiling and Keiko giving a shy wave.
“Hey! You guys are just eating?”
“Yeah, Samu and Y/N are ordering now.” Atsumu says, pointing over it to the counter with Y/N poking Osamu’s cheeks.
“Cool, well enjoy your meal! We should totally hang out sometime!” Bokuto says, following Yukie to go to a table, with Kaori dragging a tired Akaashi along.
Plopping down, Kaori and Bokuto look at eachother before nodding, sitting straight back up.
“I can feel 3 pairs of eyes on me, what.”
“Akaaaashiiii, don’t you think it would be nice to, oh I don’t know, please can we invite them ice skating?” Yukie says, staring at him with large eyes from across the table.
“Are you asking my permission or are you asking me to do it, because I’m very comfy.” He murmurs, his head laying in his arms.
“I’ll go ask!” Bokuto says, getting up while the other girls nod. Akaashi sighs, rubbing his eyes carefully as to not irritate his contacts as Bokuto walks to their table.
With the twins messily eating, and the rest starring st them as if they were pigs, Y/N sees another figure approaching, smiling at Bokuto.
“Hi Bo! They told me you were here, what’s up? How ya been?” Y/N asks, wiping her hands on a napkin before looking back at him.
“I’m well, thank you! So the rest of us were wondering if you 5 wanted to come with us to go ice skating? Obviously we haven’t met you yet,” he says as he gestured to Keiko, “however any friend of Y/N’s somehow becomes a friend of ours! And I’m not complainin’!” Bokuto says, his hands landing on his hips with a bright smile.
Looking at Suna and the girls, Osamu nodded, turning his eyes back to Bokuto as he smiled.
“We’ll be there.”
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Lacing up her skates, Y/N got on the ice and began to skate around, seeing some of her friends on the ice while Atsumu and Bokuto were still on the bench trying to figure out how to tie them.
“Sometimes I’m shocked he’s a third year.”
Turning around, Y/N faces Akaashi with a small smile on both of their faces.
“It surprises me as well.” She said, both of them beginning to skate next to eachother. With Akaashi looking around at the lights, Y/N turns her eyes to face him.
To her, it was strange. To not feel the butterflies, the rollercoaster in her stomach each time he said hello.
“You excited to see the fireworks?”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun to ring in the New Year with you guys.” Akaashi says, a smile coming to his face as he looks back at Y/N.
The two turn straight, Bokuto waving over Y/N as she nods, getting ready to skate towards him.
“Hey, Kaashi?”
“Hm?” He says, turning back towards her.
“Save me a seat.” She says, giving him a small wave and proceeded to skate towards Bokuto, said male waving and beginning to skate as she caught up.
The pair speak amongst themselves, speaking of their holiday and upcoming plans for New Years. For a few minutes, Bokuto surprisingly goes quiet, prompting Y/N to nudge his side.
His eyes turn towards hers, curiosity on his face.
“Hey, I just had a question.”
“Yeah, shoot.”
Bokuto’s eyes face forward as she still looks at him, his eyes turning again as he nudges his head. Y/N’s eyes follow in the direction to see Osamu skating with Kaori and smiling.
“Does Osamu like you?”
Feeling a pair of eyes on him, Osamu turns, seeing Y/N staring at him. He smiles, giving her a wave then returns back to his conversation with Kaori.
“I’m sorry, what?”
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“And there’s one minute on the clock folks!”
The group of friends all sit huddled together in the cold, while other bystanders around them buzz with excitement, confetti and snow flying around already.
Kaori shows Y/N tiktoks, with Akaashi occasionally looking over her shoulder, the uproar of the already booming noise blasting.
10
“Hey Y/N?” Hearing her name, she leans closer to Akaashi to hear him better
9
“Yes Akaashi?”
8
“I just had a question”
7
“Go ahead.”
6
“Maybe it’s much too early in the game.”
5
“Oh, but what the hell, I thought I’d ask you just the same”
4
“I really enjoyed tonight, Y/N.”
3
“Me too Akaashi, me too.”
2
“So”
1
“What are you doing next New Years Eve?”
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
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Notes
Akaashi does not like Y/N
Y/N does not like Akaashi
The Inarizaki friend group has had this tradition for about 3 years, but they all agreed having more friends with them was nice
For once I’m going to give clarification :D
Akaashi was talking about all of them hanging out on New Years Eve, he wants to do it again next year even though this year just began
Atsumu and Keiko are NOT dating
Atsumu and Keiko do not like eachother
Suna does not like Keiko
Keiko does not like Suna
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C. 14 <- C. 15 -> C. 16
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