#along with myself on fire?????????

[hausofmamadas]

so like i've joked about it before sksks but this reblog.... i coould be wrong now, but i'm fairly fucking certain this is the first reblog that is actually as long as the fic

It gives you different markers now, different structures to shape the friendship around.

Okay I am already loving the establishment of the history, the length of the relationship and then how that’s changed as they’ve grown older cause really it would be so hard to stay friends with someone who has maybe a bit of a Peter Pan complex only with more coke involved sjsjsjsjsjsj

Simple. There you were, there he was. Now, you have to pencil him in like any other obligation.

I cant remember exactly what you said but you actually complimented me on something like this at one point?? And you called it something academic and literary and fancy that I can’t remember rn bc I know nothing of nothing and you have a whole ass master’s degree in the thing but like the simplicity of the language and sentence structure here makes this so much more powerful. Like I’m always trying to condense what I write bc I feel like I’m way too wordy and there are times where it really just s l a p s so much fucking harder to state something plainly

He isn’t an obligation. You try not to let him feel like one.

OHHHHHHHHH MY THIS IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺 BUT THEN ALSO THE CONTRADICTIINS OF LIKE THEY JUST SAID HES BECOME LIKE ANY OTHER OBLIGATION EVEN THO THEY DONT WANT HIM TO BE OR DONT WANT TO THINK OF HIM THAT WAY AT LEAST LIKE UUGH MY HEART ALREADY

‘Finally,’ is how he greets you, when you see him at last.

STORITTOTPPPPPPPPO MY TINY GRINCH HEART CANNOT CAAAANNOT TAKE IT, JUST HOW RAFA THIS REALLY FUCKING IS. LIKE I CAN HEAR IT SO PERFECTLY “por fin” im crying

He doesn’t comment on the mess, the mismatched furniture, the dishes, the piles of books and paints across the dining table.

SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSJS the prospect of Rafa like crashing at your place for a visit and criticizing the furniture is so funny to me bc he wouldn’t bc literallt sksksks the man does not have a single leg to stand on when it comes to decor KEKW

‘Dios mio,’ you laugh, ‘you actually did it, Rafi.’

OKAY ON MY LIIIIIIIIIFE, RAFI???? RAFI. MY MIND IS BROKEN. ITS THE SWEETEST NICKNAME. IDK HOW NO ONE EVER CALLED HIM THAT ON THE SHOW. I LOVE IT IDK WHY BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

‘I thought you’d smoke too many of the samples and forget what you were doing, tonto.’

SCREAMINSSKKS bc this is 100% what I’d personally expect him to do too although he was a lot more disciplined in the beginning with that sort of shit but you know he was baked out of his gourd on the regular stillskskss

He’s explained the idea enough times already, but it never sticks, it doesn’t connect in you, the way it does for him. It’s in one ear, out the other. He’s always been for it, science, statistics, experiments and the answers beneath…

Just copy/pasting this entire ass paragraph who among us thinks this’ll be the last I do that in this post? No one? Good you know me well sksks but I feel like this is so fucking accurate and also something that’s so easy to forget in light of how he turns out by the end of the show. Like he’s kind of a fucking botanical whiz?? Even Neto was like, “tf? This kid’s a genius?” in the pilot ep. Like bc he succumbs to addiction, it’s easy to forget what an actual big deal it was, creating a new fucking cash crop essentially, so I love the focus on that from the get, es como que… a veces, él está siendo estupido pero no es estupido, si me sientes

His free hand goes into his jean pocket, retrieving the tin that’s never far from his person. It’s made of a rusty, scratched copper, held together with a loose elastic band.

Okay but whyyyyyttttttt does the idea of Rafa carrying a little fucking tin of bud around at all times the most correct thing in my actual life

You hum, acknowledging without really listening, and flip open his tin.

KSSKSKSKKS NO CRYYYYING BC TBIS IS EXACTLY HOW I WOULD RESPOND just like “este wey🙄can I just try the shits instead of you reciting a whole Wikipedia (encyclopedia?) page about the thing”

Rafa laughs, pinching the sound short by biting into his lip. Then he shrugs. ‘What? I had to. I still brought you some, didn’t I?’

KAKSKSKS I HAD TO, OH REALLYRAFA, WAS IT A MORAL IMPERATIVE THAT YKU GET BAKED OUT OF YOUR GOURD ON YOUR OWN NEW SUPERSTRAIN OF WEEDJSKSKSJ ESO ES LO QUE TE DIJERON LOS DIOSES DE MOTA??

A purpose, he must think, direction at last. ‘My job,’ he says proudly, ‘is to make sure the product is good.’

suuuuuuure yes, sure go ahead and lob this brick at my fucking chest with “a purpose … a direction at last” bc I swear this man does not do well with idle hands, like part of the reason for his breakdown is the fact that he’s literally given nothing else to fucking do. And this is where I’m like, sure Miguel is smart for putting the whole thing together but being top dog means you gotta be at least a leeeeeeeeeetle bit of a ppl person. Like if he’d made Rafa feel like he had some kind of purpose way earlier when he started makin moves with the Colombians, shit prolllllyyy wouldn’t have gone quite as sideways but also tf do I know about running a cartel actually

You smile, infected by him, by the excitement glowing off of him.

STRRRRRTTTIOOOOPPP NO BC a) I KNOW THE EXACT FUCKING SMILE… it’s this smile

and b) I feel like this is a quality universally acknowledged in almost every rafa fic I’ve ever read that his smile is literally like the most blinding shot of earnestness and joy, you literally cannot say no to whatever pendejadas he’s proposing. even María on her worst day couldn’t resist it sksksksks

Scared to admit the dream aloud. ‘Si, es solo el comienzo, sabes?’

NO OKAYSSKSSKSN I AM BANGING A GAVEL AND CALLONG EVERYONE ALL 2 OF US BC IMJUSTSOSORRY I have given this so much thought, like the essence, the thesis for Rafa is that this mf is at his core, a d r e a m e r like embedded in his identity. So like having something to aspire to, beyond the like cock solid ngl this was supposed to say rock solid but i had to let the greatest typo of all time ride sksks freebase hit of power that Miguel’s constantly simping after, is a fucking necessity for this man. He doesn’t know who he is if he doesn’t have some kind of dream so I love that you included that here

You put the joint between your lips and hold out a hand. ‘Pues,’ you prompt, ‘give me a light. Let me see the future.’

OHSSHUUUUUUTTHEFUCKINGFRONTDOOR WITH THIS SLICK ASF DIALOGUE, OH IM MAD, IM MAD MAD MAD, IM SHOOTING SPITBALLS AT YOU FROM A STRAW RN, BC THAT LINE IS SOOOSKSKSJWJWB SM LRKENE GOTDAMN INSPIRED AND I HATE YOU FOR IT (cariñoso por supuesto)

Says something else about soil, earth, plants and lying scientists, fucking lying scientists. You blink against the dark, push the heel of your free palm into your eye sockets.

Sksssscreeching at “fuckint lying scientists” bc ppl legit don’t understand that the scientific method is a way of testing hypotheses that we DONT KNOW ARE CORRECT YET LIKE FFS YOURE TRTING TO SEE IF IT’S RIGHT OR WRONG so the minute a scientist gives any kind of answer tangentially resembling “I don’t know,” people start flipping tables over and screaminfksksks and Rafa is one of those ppl despite his raw intelligence. BUT THEN SKSKSKSKS THE WHOLE HEEL OF YOUR PALM INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETSSSJSJS I’m both marveling at the simple yet so-vivid description of this action bc i can see it SOO clearly and also choking bc anyone who’s ever dealt with a Big Sad Rafa, you know for a fucking fact they’ve done this exact thing at least once literally fuckinsksksks Miguel, as much as I hate him and much of this is largely of his own making, he has rightfully done this exact thing like 20 times in the show like if I had the time, I’d straight make a gif of the exact scene I’m thinking of sksk

He isn’t there to look at, but you pretend that he is. Imagine him sitting at the end of your bed, head in his hands, tears streaking down his cheeks. If he was, you’d reach a hand out. Run it along the ridge of his spine and watch him decompress. It’s easier to know what to say to him when you have him there, like that. Even just in your head.

Alright sksksksjjs here tf we go with the first full-ass paragraph but I literally????? do not even know what to do?? or who I am??? or where to begin?? bc likeGODDDDD okay, the sentiment of this entire paragraph is just so??? it just smacks of like Reader trying to protect themselves from their own mind by like leaning into this hypothetical scenario wherein Rafa is not full fuckint mess that they know he damn well is but THEN as if that wasn’t enough, you had to throw in this interesting dynamic where like they have to relate to Real Rafa by retreating into this part of their brain that they keep Ideal Rafa like all the best parts of him concentrated in one spot so they don’t forget the more he loses himself AND UFH SISKSKSKD ITS JUET SO FUCKING SENSIBLE AND SAD AND IM SHAKING MY FIST INTO THE SKY FULLY GET-OFF-MY-LAWN-YOU-VARMINTS, BOOMER GRANDPA

You hear a thunk in you ear like he’s struck the handset against the nearest wall. He has, no doubt, but it holds. The call stays connected and buzzing in your palm.

Soryajsjsjsjsj bc all im thinking about is that one part where he chucks that gold phone from the second floor and it shatters into a million pieces and liksksksksks I bet they had to have like some kind of warehouse of spare phones, aksksks maybe it’s at the Arellano warehouse or like some contingency built in the budget for spare phones bc Rafa’s decimated so many of themsksksks i imagine it’s a contingency budget similar to like movie sets have for props like sunglasses n shit

The Rafa on the end of your bed is pacing now, stood up and tracing lines into your floorboards. Moving helps him think, it always has, the motion forces the idea to catch and roar into life, like starting an engine.

OHHHHHHH I WWSSKSKSKS AWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST HERSELFFDDFDDDD I COULD ACTUALLY STRANGLE YOU WITH LOVE I FULLY FUCKINT DONT EVNA GOD.

I literally had to get up and walk around for a second so I could fucking regain my composure and figure out how tf to say how this made me feel. Like the mental image of him tracing lines in the floorboard, mulling it over but that it’s like a fuckimxksjsjwjwjwnw visual exercise for Reader to figure out what to say, how to help him. Like there’s a deep thread of longing in that but it’s really fucking singular in nature to their dynamic specifically bc there’s an element of codependence mixed with self awareness almost??? Like the fact that they kinda need him to be okay for them to be okay and they’re usually this memory palace visualization sksjsjsjssidoaospwondsjsjnwjq to make him oka— Look. Listen. What I’m saying is just ….. ogres are like onions, okay. LAYERS BABY, LAYERRRRRRSSSSSS

You can hear it connect, weirdly, in the silence that follows. Hear the gears click, the brain turn.

NO STOPPS SKSKS I AM CHOKING BC IM JUST PICTURING HIS EXPRESSION AS FULL :WOAHDEEBY: BUT RAFAFIED and by godddkskdkkss it’s making me laugh so fucking hard to the point of hyperventilation, like that laugh with no sound. No sjsjsjs the more I’m thinking about it the more I cannot stooooospkdk fucking laughing

He takes a breath that stills his lungs properly this time, rather than stuffing them with desperate, needed air, then says your name like you’re a genius. Like you’re him.

LIKE YOURE HIM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 OH WHY MUST YOY ATTACK ME WITH SOMETHINT SO BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING I already need a lung transplant from the laughing at this point, why must we continue to deal this damage to my person

‘Don’t kill yourself, tonto.’ Don’t blow yourself to pieces for the sake of water, for the sake of Miguel and his precious sinsemilla.

HOOOOO HOO HOO GUURRRRRRR the not-so-undercover shade👀👀 and resentment👀👀 towards Miguel that is packed into this Mf has got me so 👀 bc what does Reader know. How does Reader have his number so soon am I latching onto this thing that prob means nothing and reading too much into it…. don’t answer that…… probably

He laughs down the line. ‘I’m dead either way, friend. Better I go with a bang.’

GODDDD WHEN I THINK ABOUT WAHT THIS IS IN SOANISHSSISKEK ITS SO FUCKINT DEAD ON RAFA

Me chingue sea como sea, carnal. Pues mejor salir con una 💥 bang.

Imjustsosoryyyysjsjsjsjd it could come right from a script for one of the episodes

You walk through his home like a guest, not a friend. You merge with the walls the way the staff does.

OH SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY THIS FUCKINTGGGGGGG KNOCKED ME ON MY ASS TF

He could find a job for you, he says. You could sit by his pool and earn money like it grows, right there, in the flowerbeds. You could live like he does, if you wanted.No, Rafi, I like what’s mine. I like the quiet.

OH NO, GOOD, SO THENS THENNNNNNNNNNNNNN YOU JUST HAAAAAAAD TO GO AND ASSAULT ME WITH “I like what’s mine. I like the quiet” BC THIS IS THE STICKING POINT RIGHT TF HERE, THIS IS THE REASON THE WHOLE THING IS FUCKING DOOMED and tbh, it’s extra fucked with double-anchovies on top bc the fact of the matter is, the quiet would actually be better for Rafa but what he wants and what’s good for him literallyyyyyyy never fucking overlap. But like this was all I could think about when I was writing him, was like …. man, maybe it’s better to leave some things as just dreams ksksksns at least for our pobre Rafitito

You touch the fabric just to feel it. You’d never owned anything this smooth, this well made.

there’s always the most mundane of moments in every readerfic that make me go “oh maaaaan, me too, homie” sksks this is that moment

There’s white under his nostrils, you haven’t missed that, but you haven’t commented on it, either. At least he smells of smoke as well. At least he’s balancing it out.

NOOOOOOSKSKSKSKSKS NO YOU DID NOT JUST DO THE RATIONALIZATION OF HARDCORE DRUGS WITH AT LEAST MANS IS BALANCING HIS UPPERS AND DOWNERS I AN FUCKING SIDJRJRJDJDJD I AM CHOKING, SEIZING, CANNOT BREATHE, HAVING AN ANEURYSM SKSKSK

He hasn’t even noticed your reaction yet. ‘She didn’t take me seriously,’ he says, ‘last time. She made fun of my clothes.’

The way my heart just grew to thrice his size just remembering our pobrecito trying to dance with Sofia literally shouting over the music, “no soy un pinshe mesero” SKSKSK and then pouting on his way back to the table when she still wouldn’t give him the time of day which let’s be real, Sofia was fully trolling all of us including her fucking self bc mija, imjustsosorry that Rafa was wearing the fucking a dopest shirt I’ve ever seen in that scene, like that one is bar none my favorite of all of his shirts on the show i truly believe Ramon was inspired by Rafa to up his shirt game, no one will fucking convince me otherwise

You let him continue. Your brain is still trying to scramble to the point where any of this makes sense.‘Her father is el Secretario de Educacion.’ He sighs. His hands go to his hips. ‘I want to impress her.’A new project, you realise, that’s what he’s found. Something he can’t have, something impossible. Something to solve.

SKSKSKSKSKKDLFJKSLDKJFA TRYING TO SCRAMBLE TO THE POINT WHERE ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE IDK WHY SKKSS BUT I AM CRYING SO HARD RNsksksksks bc like for some reason this line specifically made me think of liek Reader’s brain is a Magic 8 Ball and they’re shaking it to get some kind of answer within the realm of clarity only their Magic 8 Brain keeps coming up with those annoying, cryptic, noncommittal answers like “reply hazy, try again” or “concentrate and ask again” akskskskks and the mental image in the context of like what we as viewers know what’s going to happen which is a faked kidnapping attempt of this well-known politician’s daughter and like the logic of that entire fucking shitshow is actually fully sending me in a way I have never been sent before. BUT THENENNNNN SKSKS as if being sent further than I’ve been sent before isn’t enough, I literally skdfsjdkf am so goddamn WOAHDEEBY to the fucking max at “A new project … that’s what he’s found. Something he can’t have, something impossible” bc I have never, ever, ever considered in those exact terms but that does completely fit with my whole hc of Rafa as an interminable dreamer till his last days bc there’s an element of dreams that are unattainable and like he becomes restless when he doesn’t have something too look forward to or reach or whatever and aasbaopsdfhaoisdjhf;a now i’m just fucking babbling like I’ve taken too much of my ADHD medication joke’s on you, I haven’t….this is just what straight ADHD is but like goddddd the thought put into his psyche, I’m just tipping my hat off, that’s what the fuck I’m trying to say

He’s always worn what he liked, always put himself to the world exactly as he is, no apology, no polish. Just him, wild as he came.

NOOOOSDKFJALKSJDF;LAKJSD FK;SHFASJD F;ALKSJ WHY TF AM I ACTUALLLY SALIVATING AT “NO APOLOGY, NO POLISH. JUST HIM, WILD AS HE CAME.” LIKE HWY IS THAT ACCIDENTALLY THE HOTTETST DESCRIPTION OF THIS CHAOTIC MF THAT I’VE EVER, EVER, EVER READ IN ALL OF MY TWENTY EIGHT YEARS ON THIS FUCKING PLANET

‘Is she worth all this?’ You point at them lazily. ‘How much did this cost you, tonto?’ ‘You sound jealous,’ he says, smiling, trying to pass it off as a joke.

in every fucking friends to lovers situation, there comes that moment where my face goes to SpongeBob “you like krabby patties,” and you guys, we are here skskdfjskdjfks we’ve arrived only BOTH RAFA AND I ARE “YOU LIKE KRAAAABBY PATTIIIIEEEESSSS”

And you’re jealous of Sofia, too. You wish you weren’t but you are. It creeps up to you, the longer you stand here, it crawls up your trouser legs, into your ears along with her name. She caught his eyes, his heart. You got the brain and everything else, but she has a part of him that he never shared with you. Never tried to.

NO. NO. EVERYONE I AM– I LITERALLY– I CANNOT– I AM INCOHERENT FUCKING INCOHERENT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? MY CIRCUITS ARE FUCKINIIIIIIIINGNNSDKFJSLDJF SCRAMBLED BY THE DEEP LONGING, SORROW, RESENTMENT, HOW VISCERAL THIS IS, THE IMAGERY, I’M KISSING YOU ON BOTH CHEEKS LIKE I’M ITALIAN, I’M PUNCHING YOU IN THE THROAT, I’M THROWING THINGS, I’M THAT MEME OF ALL THOSE GAJILLION SPONGEBOBS RUNNING AROUND WITH ALL THE FILE CABINETS ON FIRE, I’M IN A BALL, IN THE FETAL POSITION, ON THE FLOOR, UGLY CRYING AND ASKING SOMEONE TO HELP ME SKSKKSKSK bc even though it’s not explicitly stated, the way this sooooooojust smacks of like….. like he’s always sort of been there, available sometimes too emotionally available sksksk bc it’s Rafa sksks mans is a mess. Mans probably needs a wife and a mom and a teacher and a housekeeper and a camp counselor all in one for a partner to feel emotionally secure in anyway sksk Reader is like 4/5 at this point and bc he’s always been there, no action is taken to ever change the dynamic of the relationship despite the clear allusions to Reader’s desire to maybe do so and allusions to Reader’s very wise and responsible choice of self-preservation over a passionate love affair with a coke-addled botanic genius man-baby who reports to an even larger man-baby only that one is uptight and duplicitous asf but now that the opportunity to change the dynamic is taken away, Reader is left just like, “fuck. missed my chance and like that’s probably more a good than a bad thing but fuck if I’m not still gonna feel butthurt about it”

That’s how he is. Passionate. He fixates, he works, he wins. Loves with a tunnel vision that you’ll never understand.

GODDDDDDLKSJDKF THE WAY YOU HAVE JUST THOUGHT THIS MF THROUGH, NAILED HIM DOWN TO A T, AND IT FUCKING SHOWS IN MOMENTS LIKE THIS. Also loving the tone of like……. Admiration? Of his steadfastness in all things? And simultaneous like lamenting that quality at the same time bc like sksksaklsdkfal we all know the shitshow that arises from Rafa just running shit into the ground with the force of a comet that only passes the Earth every 200 years or whateverlskdsk

‘She won’t care, Rafa. Eres guapo. Te ves rico.’ And that’s what they like, girls like her. That’s what matters. ‘You be good to her, okay? Treat her right. She’s not someone you should mess around.’

I can’t determine if the warning here is like, “Rafa don’t be a psycho, druggie piece of shit to this poor girl who has no idea what she’s getting herself into plot twist: she does and she’s worse than he is ksksksksk or if it’s liiiiiike, “please don’t do anything to bring the wrath of the government upon yourself by treating this politician’s daughter badly” sksksk or both??? Like if it’s the first one, idk why that warms me to Reader like makes me think “what a homie” bc I stan tf out of a character that can set their jealousy aside long enough to humanize the person who’s the object of their envy and also like fuck it, all men are garbage. All non-cis-men unite, gotta have each other’s backs sksksk and like if it’s the second one, I’m screamingskskdjksjfdks bc Rafa’s gonna do everything that is the antithesis of careful and is absolutely going to incur the wrath of the PRI, that’s literally the entire plot of the second half of S1 skskksksskks

How little it became about himself, or what he wanted. How close he’d stumbled to the edge without you waiting a step behind.

UGHHSHDHFLSJHDFLSKJDFKLAJ;SLKDJFA;LKJSDF;LAKJSD;FKLJ A;SLDKJF;ALSJD F;LAJSD F;LAJ WITHOUT YOU WAITING A STEP BEHIND, I’M FUCKING SKDFJSLKDJFLSK SICK TO MY STOMACH, SICK AND CRYING AND ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, SENDING OUT SOS SMOKE SIGNALS BC I DO NEED MENTAL HELP AS MUCH AS DEAR RAFA

You didn’t ask, he didn’t tell, so you lived through the whispers of him. Maybe it’s time, you thought, maybe he’s outgrown you at last. Maybe this is the part where you don’t play catch up.

Dopedopedopedopedopedopedopedopedopedopedope sosososososos just so fucking dope that you just continuously feel the need to pummel me in the fucking face, line by line, you were literally typing this being like, “how do I personally commit terrorisms across the Atlantic to my df, dear friend, Kay. Ohhhhhsdkfjsldkfjslkdj we’ll do this, just fucking torpedo of sadness after torpedo of sadness in the most poetic and touching way I can think of muhahahahhahahahah” don’t even try to deny it I already checked my secret cameras, and I have the receipts, transcripts, all on tape of you talking out loud, planning this brutal personal attack on me and like if I wasn’t presently undead, I’d be giving you a round of applause bc your plan worked perfectly

Snipped ties worse than you had, ones with actual weight. Purpose. Structure that couldn’t afford to be pulled from under him.

slides glasses down bridge of nose and smiles diabolically oh??????? Gorl????? Dramatic irony? is that you I see hiding behind that bush?????? waiting to ambush me as I mind my own fucking business as if I’ve ever minded my own business on my morning walk???? as if I’ve ever taken a morning walksksk it’s fine well, too bad bitch, cause I spotted your sneaky ass before you got the chance to ruin me lies, I’m still ruined bc the fact that Reader understands to some degree their importance to Rafa but at the same time discredit the structure they, themself(?) themselves(?) have been providing throughout their entire friendship but ranks that structure as having lesser value when it’s almost like … if they’d stuck around or been involved in the business directly, so they were more tied to him on a day-to-day basis, would their influence have maybe changed the outcome bc they did provide structure? Who can say. Im sure this makes absolutely negative amounts of sense but I just thought it was intriiiiiiguing

So now he was off the coke, too. Cold turkey and rotting from it.

GOOOOODDDDDDDD THE JUST FULLY JUGGERNAUT ME BETWEEN THE EYES AND KNOCK ME ON MY ASS WHY DONT YOU. LIKE I READ THIS SHIT AND IMMEDIATELY WANTED TO START WRITING MYSELF, SO INSPIRED SDSFSLKDFJLS SHIT SLAPT!!!!! and likiiiiiike we don’t need to get into it, I will just say from my hoodrat days, that is a ROUGH fucking comedownskksksksk

They’ve shut him in like a beast, oiled mahogany set firmly between them and him, him and you.

ASDLKJFA;LSDJF AOKAAYY AGAIN FUCKING JUST SLAMMING ME LEFT AND RIGHT, I’M LIKE NOT EVEN A WHOLE PERSON ANYMORE AT THIS POINT??????A?SD?FA?SD?FA “they’ve shut him in like a beast” like the whole lore of the Wolf Man could be altogether one giant allegory for detox because like low-key that’s what it looks and feels like. It is messy, it is violent, it is agonizing to endure and/or watch and something about the way you’ve put that with the imagery of what the room looks like, just gave me such fucking Wolf Man vibes, gave me actual fucking goosebumps te lo juro

It’s a den, a cage. Distress that’s been played out and abandoned afterwards.

AND WOLFMAN VIIIIIBES PERSIST ALONG WITH THE CONTINUED, CEASELESS, PERSISTENT DAMAGE THAT KEEP DEALING TO ME LIKE THE MOST VINDICTIVE DUNGEON MASTER LIKE DAMN, I’M AT NEGATIVE HIT POINTS, CAN’T KEEP FUCKING DOIN THIS SHIT DO YOU UNDERSTAANLDFJALKSDJFA;LKJSDF;ALK

…more of a wet room than the stylised bathroom it was designed to be. Like walking into the overused swamp of a public swimming pool.

Oh MAAAANANNNN this is such a fucking doozy of a description, like it’s so tangible, I’m fucking there, I’m there and my hair is frizzy and I’m annoyed and i’m also applauding the skill skskksksk

‘It’s me,’ you say, louder now. His head lifts weakly. ‘Sofia?’ No, not her, only you.

OH GOOD GOTDAAAAMNNNNFNSKLDFJS DUDE NO EVERYONE, EVERYONE SIT TF DOWN AND SHUT TF UP BC THIS IS LIKE????????? I DON’T???????? EVEN KNOW HOW ALSDKFJALSKDJF;ALJ OHOW TO ADEQUATELY EXPRESS THE WAY THIS MADE ME FEELL?????????????????????? Like …. There’s something like a declaration, the way Reader says, “no, not her, only you.” Like I depending on how you read it, it could be like sadness, lamentation, feelings of inadequacy which would totally make sense to me, but for some reason, the way I read it was like, “no, not her, only you” as in “yeah, me. The one who’s been here for you every time you’ve needed it, while the rest of the world was spinning, iwas the only one still and waiting, and now you’re here and so am i” and idk if that’s even the most accurate interpretation of that but GOOOODDAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNN WHEN I SAY I CLUTCHED MY CHEST AND KEELED OVER LIKE SOMEONE IN ONE OF THOSE LIFE ALERT COMMERCIALS

You don’t know enough about withdrawals to know if it’s normal. If he’s supposed to look like this, if it’s part of the process. You don’t know if it’s even the drugs at all, but you know him, and you know this is bad for him. Lights off in the fucking dark.

Okay first off, “lights off in the fucking dark,” :lebrontear: bc jfc the way I felt this straight to the core of my soul and secondly…… with how much cocaine Rafa was doing especially the coke in the 80s which was usually more pure, cut with less nonsense, so a lot stronger this is….p normal skdkskksksk

What if this is him now? What if this is what happened while you were away, and it’s set too deep to be undone?

What if this is me now … a disassmbled pile of bones, like I was one of those lego people and someone just pulled me apart and left me in tiny pieces on the floor just waiting for some unsuspecting adult to step on me, causing shooting pain into their foot like they’ve just stepped on actual shards of glass bc you apparently decided you just had to fucking disassemble? Idk what I did to make you hurt me so but I’m literally worse off than Rafa at this point so great, hope you’re happy

‘I miss you,’ he says, in the same way. Desperate, quick, like he’s only got a few words left to give. ‘You know that, right? I miss you, too.’

LITEREALLLLYYYYFSLDKFJA;LSDKJF;ALKSDJF;LAKJSDF;LAKJSD;FLKJA;SLDIJF ATHIS HAS TO FUCKING STOP, THIS IS BECOMING A FUCKING WAR CRIME AT THIS POINT, A VIOLATION OF THE UNITED NATIONS’ STANDARDS OF VIRTUAL ENGAGEMENT WITH FOREIGN COUNTRIES that sounds even less real than I thought it wouldsks

Pounding on your door and peppering the button until the bell can’t complete a full ring anymore. It just spits out one shrill note, over and over.

Okyaskfjalskdjfa;lskjd;flajsd; okayokayokay bc here’s that time where I whip out my detective notepad and tiny glasses and begin feverishly jotting down notes skskskks bc I’m internally I guess it’s not so internal given this is going on the inter webs for my -3 followers to see FUCKING SHRIEKING AT THE LITERARY GENIUS THAT I MUST SOMEHOW FIND A WAY TO ABSORB THROUGH OSMOSIS AND HARNESS FOR MYSELF TO LEVEL UP MY OWN SHIT SKSKSKSKSKKSKS and I’m gonna call this specific Skill You Have, “Naming and/or Describing Stuff That I’ve Seen/Heard A Million Times irl In the Most Unique and Poetic Way Possible” like the doorbell, if you asked me to sit down and fucking describe what that sounds like, I would literally just be

BUT HTENSKDFJSKDFJ THEN READ THIS, it’s one of those moments where I’m like “oh that’s so spot-on, how could I not summon those words, that’s so fucking clever”

Rushed to your door with an urgency you can’t grasp onto yet; it slips through your fingers, like him, like what you had. Scatters in the hallway like dropped ball-bearings. You can’t catch him like you used to.

throws chair violently like that one Jon Bernthal Punisher gif that’s it. I’m fucking done. I’m done????? Do you understand???? I’m done. I will not continue to SIT IDLY BY WHILE YOU CONTINUE TO ABUSE ME THIS WAY, ESTA NO ES LA FORMA DE TRATARA UNA CAMARADA, OKEYYYYYYYYY???

‘Have you actually stopped to think? I have a job, Rafa, a life. I’m not involved in your,’ your search for the word, the title of all his erratic decisions: adventures, war, ‘bullshit.’ Yeah, that fits.

Skskskkskskskks i have no idea why, maybe bc Reader has fucking HAD it and it’s so sarcastic and fucking over-this-shit, but I did start reading the end of this in Spanishsksksksk “Aventuras, guerra, ‘pendejadas.’ Aye, se queda bien”

‘Have you planned any part of this, or did you do too much coke and come here on a whim?’ you ask evenly. You’re not judging him, but you have to know. Fear or drugs. It’s one of the two. You stare at him afterwards, waiting for an answer.

FEAR OR DRUGSSDKFSLDKJFLSKJDF WHY DID THAT MAKE ME m CACKLE SO HARRDDD IT’S LIKE NOT THAT FUNNY BUT IT IS BC LIKE MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS “por que no los dos??”

‘Well, yeah. It’s all paid for, carnale.’ You scoff. ‘You only have to get on the plane.’

NASODFA;SDLKFJA;SKJDF NO I AMMMASDFKAL HAVING A FUCKING ANEURYSM LAUGHING SO HARD SKDFJSLDKFJ AT ATHIS ;DFJGUCKING SHIT. LIKE RAFA. RAFAAAAAA. AMORCITO, CHIQUITO. THE COST OF THE PLANE TICKETS AND THE OBSCENELY EXTRAVAGANT RESORT YOU’RE STAYING AT IS SO FAR FROM TEH FUCKING POINT I’M SHOCKED THAT YOU EVEN MADE IT TO THE HOUSE WITH A SHIRT ON BC CLEARLY YOUR MENTAL FACULTIES ARE SO BACK ASSWARDS BUT ALSO LIKE SKSJDKSJKSKA THIS IS COREECT LIKE HE WAS THIS ABSURD

‘She wants to come with me,’ he answers. ‘And I want you to come too, once it’s safe.’

Rafa trying to make his throuple dreams come true, only I’m pretty sure once Reader and Sofia arrive on the island, only one of them is leaving the island bc homicide has occurred bc they are so beyond opposites, they couldn’t last more than a week without one murdering the other sksksk

But what are you even agreeing to? What does he need you for, when he’d have Sofia with him already? Why would you go if he was going to— ‘You aren’t coming back, are you?’

CUE ME SKDJFLSJK WOAHDEEBY RIGHT ALONG WITH READER, LIKE OFC SKSKSKKS HE’S TRYING TO PACK ALL HIS FAVORITE TOYS IN HIS SUITCASE CAUSE HE RAELLY IS NEVER COMING BACK

One final time, you could show out for him just one final time, and then put it to bed. No more friendship, no more relying on you to pile up the bricks again. If he can’t come home afterwards, then you will, alone, and he’ll be free to take on the world. All by himself. Just as he wanted to.

Sorry sddlfja;sdkjf;a bc no, I just have to make this shit about me always, at all times, everywhere, this. shit. This reminds me so much of the Rafa/María thingy I did, like clean slate, getting to take on the world, except it’s fucked bc he’s not sober. Like yeah, my Rafa was cracked in the head bc he’d been cracked in the head a great many times sdkksjdfklsdj but your Rafa, this Rafa, is spun tf out on coke, desperate, and running for his life sldkfjsklj like the hope at the end of my story isn’t here, and it’s making my stomach AND MY CHEST HURT BC I KNOW THIS IS ALL GOING TO END IN A BALL OF FLAMES

A laugh you don’t like twitches out of him; he isn’t taking it seriously. He doesn’t realise how easy it is to fall yet, how close he is to the sun.

FUUUUCKKSJFDSLFKJSL describing his laugh as TWITCHING OUT OF HIM is like so on-point for a tweaker like Rafa, I can see it and it’s making me cringe and I’m also scribbling in my detective’s notepad and crying to myself, and swearing bc the tears keep smearing the ink and I keep having to scratch out the diligent notes I’m trying to take on the art of writing that you’re teaching me

He’s never been nobody anywhere. Even before all this shit.

SKDFJAL;SDKJF;ASDKJF;A NO BC JUST THE MOST POETIC FUCKING WAY TO SAY “HE’S A HAM AND A HALF”

‘And then I’ll come home,’ you add. He’s already talking like he’s forgotten, like he thinks you’ll follow him across the globe, one step behind as always.

GODDD he’s like willfully not hearing Reader bc he can’t conceive of the notion of like them not being there, or him getting caught, or both, is like the most heartbreaking thing and the way Reader has to gently remind him, “and then I’ll come home,” LIKE HES A LITTLE FUCKSINGSKDJFSKSJ KID

It would’ve made things worse for her, tagged her into the downfall alongside him, so it’s good that she avoided it. She stands a better chance of a future having done it.

Once again, the fact that Reader is like not blaming Sofia and like sees where she’s coming from is so fucking well-adjusted but also complicated and layered and I’m just really living for that dynamic even though I sincerelyfuckingdoubt Sofia would be so understanding if the tables were turned aksjfsk but that’s just bc she’s an literal actual child. Like 20 years old is still young-dumb-stupid, lbr

It was all anger. Hurt. Liquid regret pouring through the handset.

LIQUID REGRET POURING THROUGH THE HANDSETS;JAF;LSDJIF;ALSDJF;OFIJQWE;OFIJAOSDIJFA;SDKJFNA;OSDIJF;AOSIJDF; I HATE YOU, I HATE, HATE, HATE YOU. SO SKILLFUL, FLOWS BEAUTIFULLY. AND IT FUCKING R H Y M ES ????? BC YOU WEREN’T FLEXING ENOUGH ALREADY???? I’M PACING OKAY, I CAN’T BREATHE

It wasn’t the plan to come in like this was any other, normal reunion, like you’re seeing him after an impromptu vacation. The plan, was to be a friend to yourself, for once.

GODDDD;AKJ THE LITERAL FUCKING DREAD YOU HAVE BUILT INTO THIS BUT ALSO AT THE SAME TIME GOT ME FULL FUCKING CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF A STREET LAMP, LIKE AN OVERLY ENTHUSIASTIC SPORTS FAN, RIOTING AND TEARING DOWN MY OWN CITY, SWINGING MY FUCKING T-SHIRT AROUND, CHEERING READER ON BC “THE PLAN WAS TO BE A FRIEND TO YOURSELF FOR ONCE” IS LIKE THE FUCKIGNSODFIJSDLDFKJ MOVE LIKE GORL RUN FOR YOUR LIFE AND NEVER LOOK BACK IN NO WAY AM I SEEING PARALLELS BETWEEN THIS AND MY RECENT DIVORCE AND SOBBING ON MY KEYBOARD, AND SHORT-CIRCUITING MY LAPTOP AS I READ THIS, NOOOOOPOPEEEEEE NOOOOOOT DOING IT

‘I’ve been going fucking crazy in here,’ he says, ‘not even Neto wants to talk to me.’ ‘Neto’s here too?’ You’ve met him before, of course. He isn’t a character you can forget easily.

SKLFSKSKSK now I know why you chose that gif. From “no salta el DIIIIISCO WEY!” to “es basura, he hates me” in 60 seconds. This also reminds me of that one scene in S2 when Miguel goes to visit Neta to ask for advice y’know as tho he didn’t complete blast Neto in the ass with a sandpaper dildo aka entirely responsible for him being there in the first place and Neta, in no uncertain terms tells him to get fucked but then also says something about how, if Miguel ever ends up in there, he’d let “estas pinshes marranas puercas como Rafa” cut him to pieces or something sdkjfsk

Honestly, you’d hoped you would at least have some glass between, you were counting on it, even. Something for his reaction to bounce off.

SWEEEEEET FUCKS THIS DIDN’T EVEN OCCUR TO ME IN THE SLIGHTEST BUT OFC YOU’D BE EXPECTING GLASS. IT’S IN ALL THE MOVIES, THE GLASS AND THE PHONE BUT NOW HE’S SO MUCH CLOSER, LIKE HAVING TO EXTRACT THEMSELF FROM HIM LIKE P H Y S I CALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY ASLDFJA;SLJFA;LSDJF;ALSJK FI ASTQA=WE0RUQ=EI I’M DONE. I’M FUCKING DONE. I CAN’T MAKE IT TO THE END

He’s been souring since he’d swapped you for Miguel, himself for the business. Been gone before you’d even realised. You’ve spent all this time trying to stitch him back together, keep the body whole, keep the motor running, and he was already a ghost. Gone through the fucking cracks. You were just too sentimental to see it, too loyal to the kid you’d met at the end of the street.

I’m like– liek?????? I don’t know what to say????? rn??? I’m like, like…. See I can’t even fucking worsdkfsjldfjslkdfjslkdfj ;sdasdflkajsdl;fkja;sldfkja;lsdfja;io sfhjpiquwoehf like I really can’t. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike I cannot actually asummon the cognitive power to a fasfeormea sslkdfj la;sjf rform a real actualfucking sentence bc like????? I think you broke my brain????? And all cognitive functioning has ceased entirely??? don’t even have the capacity to caps or key smash bc I’m like real-life shell shocked and catatonic, staring off into a void I will never know or understand and I’m pretty sure I will never write a single, solitary thing again bc what is the point when it’s already been said in these few lines

‘For who?’ he asks. ‘I need you in here, I’ll go crazy, I’ll—’ ‘For me, Rafa.’ That’s the point, the whole point, and still he doesn’t get it. ‘It’s better for me, and I have to do it.’ And he has to let you. He said he wouldn’t ask again, wouldn’t expect you to follow him everywhere he went. Just because he’s stuck in one place now, doest mean you have to be too. One of you deserves a win, right? You won’t serve time on his behalf.

HOOOOOOKAAAAY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSKJEKLJKRLWEJSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMM,,,,,,,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHMMMMMMMHH you won’t serve time on his behalf. YOU WON’T SERVE TIME ON HIS BEHALF. 👏🏽YOU👏🏽WON’T👏🏽SERVE~~👏🏽GOTDAMN👏🏽TIME👏🏽ON👏🏽HIS👏🏽BEHALF👏🏽

You don’t, and if this is how he wants to be, then fine, conversation over. Cloth cut from the body at last …You’ve found your track, now it’s time to run it, right to the end. Just like he would.

ALRIGHT. COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL. … I FEEL SO GOOD NOW ……………. YEAH FUCKING INCREDIBLE, TOP OF THE WORLD …………………… THAT DIDN’T HURT AT ALL ……………………………… SO EXCITED THAT YOU DID ALL THESE TERRORISMS TO ME ……………………………………………… NOT AT ALL FEELING

five and one

rafa x gn!reader, 7598 words, canon typical drug use, hurt/comfort/angst, no happy ending(!!!)

the five times you were his friend, and the one time you weren’t 

a/n: this has been in my docs waiting to be finished for sososo long omg finally the rafito despair is here. enjoy!

taglist: @ashlingiswriting​ @drabbles-mc​ @cositapreciosa​ @hausofmamadas​ @cherixrosa​ @purplesong1028​ @mandaloria314​ @dashavau​ @yeetintomadness @thesandbeneathmytoes​ (as per i have forgotten who wants tagging and who doesnt sorry!)

1

Rafa’s been asking you for weeks. Come smoke, carnale, come on. I have something to show you.

Soon, you told him. I’m busy with school, work, I have to pick my Abuela up from church—I’m the only one who can drive her, remember?

They weren’t made up excuses, even if he thought they might’ve been. You didn’t like it either, having no time for him, but it’s how it went. How it is. He dropped out of school, never made it to college. You did. It gives you different markers now, different structures to shape the friendship around. When you were classmates it was easy, natural: before class, in class, after class. Simple. There you were, there he was. Now, you have to pencil him in like any other obligation.

He isn’t an obligation. You try not to let him feel like one.

Keep reading

[vaguely-concerned]

having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin' of WOF Au for DC, but like, it's a Gothamite and Fawcett thing. (And Amity Park if crossover)

Like those are the most magical areas in the world, even if Gotham is cursed as fuck. An unspoken secret of sorts that while they present themselves as human to outsiders, they are all Very Much Not.

Which means hilariously in the league, when everyone expects Batman to be suspicious and short with the new guy- even made bets on it- they are then shooketh when both visibly relax and start talking. And half the shared complaints don't make sense!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now Gotham technically has no Queen, nor does Fawcett, but Batman and Captain Marvel are the closest things. Not in the traditional sense of back when they were in separate tribes (& maybe from a different dimension but shh that was millennia ago) but in the sense of, they're the ones patrolling and protecting the cities along with calling the shots in disasters.

Which does sort of change the dynamic they both have in their city. If one of them calls to arms, the city would follow them. They could declare war, and their cities (begrudgingly in Gotham's underbelly's case of strongest is in charge) would follow. And while Billy is oblivious, both Marvel-the-not-hivemind and Batman are. They know they have to be very careful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure we all want Nightwing Bruce but no. Bruce, like both his mother and father and father's father and so on before him, is actually an Icewing. The Waynes however, have a case of melanism running in their bloodline. Thomas Wayne? Only his quills and part of his back were darker, but Bruce? Practically pitch black scales that shadow his eyes.

Now Alfred on the other hand, is a Nightwing. No special powers there, though you would hear many a child protest with how he seems to know everything.

Commissioner Gordon is a Mudwing, big stocky and very tired, which translates to his human disguise as a large trenchcoat. He finds this very amusing. Barbara similarly, is half Mudwing. Her mother was a Hivewing, making her a hybrid between both. Which does ironically mean that Batgirl does in fact have insectoid wings. Though that does ponder the question on if they'd all go by their original vigilante names.

Dick is a Silkwing. Wingless as he watches his parents fall and unable to do anything despite this place supposedly being safe for beings like them. He grows into his own, and his wings, when they come in, are dark Gotham colors through and through, with the deep blue of the sky he's come to crave.

Jason is a hybrid between a Mudwing and a Skywing. He's also an animus- not that he knew that. He doesn't find out until he's dying, telling himself to not die, to get back to Gotham, to his dad, his family- And then he wakes up in his Coffin, alive.

Now Cass, raised to be the perfect killer, is also a hybrid, just one between a Nightwing and a Rainwing, egg set out under the moon. Which succeeds, partially. She can't straight up read minds, but combined with her talent in reading body language on both human and inhuman bodies, it's a near thing.

Tim is a Seawing, borderline abandoned by his parents who seek treasures and more wealth as he's trapped back in a city where the water is dark and poisoned. But he's Gothamite, through and through, and he adapts. Scales darker than the original blues he was born with, and glow shifting to that sickly white of the Gotham's Bats.

Now Steph, is a full-blooded Rainwing, and can in fact change her scales, but can mostly be found in purples and golds. Though for a short time she was in another set of colors, thought dead before she slithered out of the shadows older and wiser than before.

Damian is his father's son, but he's also an Al-Ghul. The not-quite dragonet is half Icewing, and half Sandwing. And struggled to adjust at first, to a place so different from his first home where the only other dragons were blood related. But like any Wayne before him, he adjusts, and he adapts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Billy wasn't a Beetlewing originally, and perhaps he would have hesitated if he'd known it would change him, would change his body and the last thing he had of his parents. But his friends, his Team and new family help. And he can pass as a Silkwing like their sort-of foster mother. All six of them can do so now, even if the others look more like hybrids themselves thanks to not being the Champion. They might not be, but they're his family. And that's enough.

[jooseboxxe]

marvel studios is about to catch these hands because like what do you MEANNNNuhhh alice finally got rid of her curse and then FUCKING DIED?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN???? AAAAAHHHHHH

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[thegreatyin]

the adventures of the neath's most annoying definitely-totally-a-bat-and-not-the-scoundrel-in-a-robe continue (cards. their name is mr cards. or so they insist.)

this time: coworker antics. tune in next week on dragon ball Z where we'll be killing all of them with hammers

[paarksunghoon]

hiii, i saw your tags on the post about not being able to give good ideas justice.. AND THE HEESEUNG VAMPIRE AU IDEA OMG? IT LITERALLY SOUNDS SO GOODSKDJFKHF IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A STUPID IDEA AT ALL

i have a two page outline of this story but lost inspo when I started thinking about the actual plot points until I posted that…I know exactly how this story ends and what happens to humanity too kdnxkxndns

THANK YOU FOR LIKING IT!!! I wanted it to be a multi-part story (maybe 4-5 chapters max) but who knows!!! not me, that’s for sure.

anyway here are the tags in case anyone’s interested:

[acourtofquestions]

“He'd deceived her, had lied to her. This man who she'd believed held no secrets between them. She didn't know why it made her want to shred everything within sight.”

— cause um… as you just said Miss Manon YOU CARE (& it’s even giving Chaolaena vibes in the I CARE way)… so like all I’m saying is you love him duh?

[sschmendrick]

I have Teshvo questions. For one : what is the sound difference between CH and SH. I am also wondering about the origin of the letter H and what its purpose is. I see how it affects the sound in words like Zargothrax and Ralathor but what about Mezchinhar? I might be mistaken but it is silent when I pronounce it there. Is it used solely to get another sound (from C to CH, S to SH)? What sound do we get from N to NH then. Or is it the residue of an old spelling/pronunciation that evolved? Is it to signify that there was something else there before (like the french ^ replacing the old french s)? Or maybe that is the old spelling but the pronunciation evolved and not the textbooks?

@blastedking I know you have answered some of my Teshvo questions before but it's just so fascinating discovering new languages.

Also the pronunciation of Mezchinhar has fully changed to the correct one :) and it sounds so soft ! I know we talked about Teshvo having a more german/Russian sound and harsh tone but it's so soft in my mind between the actual pronunciation of Mezchinhar, Ralathor and Zargothrax

Oh yes! Important one ! (Guy who has only ever learned czech as an eastern European language) I'm getting real czech vibes from the Je/Ja/Jax so I was wondering if it borrowed their pronunciation of the J as well or if it was the english J (dj) or the french J (flat j).

[nerfpuncher]

Ima be real. My heart breaks for Tech. I always felt like Echo and him were besties, now all I can see is Tech in the pilot's seat turning about to ask Echo something only for Tech to go quiet cause the co pilots seat is empty.

[lovingaeth]

god bless and protect queer elders

[kiaroscuro]

It should come as no surprise that I absolutely love the Lupin Netflix series,, especially Lupin fanboy extraordinaire Guedira, haha. I wish that there was more of an (English) fandom for the series, 'cause I can't speak / read French ;-;

I also love how KID-style most of the heists are, haha I guess this would be an AU where Ren goes international on KID-style heists, crossing paths with the French police in the year of absence that Assane has? Or something like that :)

[im-sorry-what-ii]

Someone save me from the torments of writing a coffee shop mechanic au fic chapter, posting said chapter and then. Having NO plot. to continue. How does one live like this. I will not have a single chapter 1k word unfinished fic on my ao3

[roseverdict]

"my adult children are lazy and have no dreams and are perfectly content to leech off of me their entire lives!" no!!! you dipshit!!!!! they're several diagnosed types of mentally ill each, unmedicated for all of them through no choices of their own, unable to go anywhere outside the house without parental permission or assistance*, and have repeatedly been outright mocked by you for expressing joy at things they like and jobs they want to have while you claim to always support them!!!!!!! you cannot treat them as failures of completely fine and fully-autonomous adults when you never even finished teaching them the things you think every teenager should learn!!!!!!!!!

*: and even then they're chafing badly enough that they are pushing for ways to work around you! to escape you!!! once they can pedal a bicycle for further than a mile without going into Goddamn cardiac arrest it's fucking over for you!!!!!

(EDIT BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE THIS HERE BUT ALSO UM: yall ever feel like you're engaged in a cold war that's never actually been declared? bc the increased aggression in the passive-aggressive texts over the past 24 hours (DESPITE the fact that most stuff from the last batch was in fact addressed in a timely fashion) has me like 👁️👁️. mom, dad, if you're reading this, you know you can talk to me like the 24-year-old human person i am, right? not treat me like an impudent teenager who doesn't deserve to make their own choices and should be grateful to even be living with you, then get frustrated when i'm making angry vent-like posts online?)

[ilkkawhat]

turns out i'm incapable of making a mistake and coping with it like a mature adult

[lucianinsanity]

"Oh, that art class was a lot and my hands hurt, I should get home and do more art to relax"

Me, every day since I started uni