#almost forgot how to make sims lol

[starshinesim]

first sims post in how long!?! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

[kestrelteens]

Whew! I really really loved this set so much that I had to convert, well, almost everything?

The Nostalgia Living by @awingedllama has been my fave ever since it came out and I was just waiting for an ounce of my converting motivation to come back to get down to business. And it finally happened!

Because there are 50+ items in this set and it would take me 2 hours to list all of them, I will link this handy dandy catalog the original creator made so you can see what you're getting: RIGHT HERE. All of the objects are fairly low poly so you don't need to worry about that.

Some important information + previews can be found under the cut!

Enjoy & have fun! ♥

download (sfs) // alt download (mediafire)

grab the collection file here

There is a gaming console override included! Well, the console is buyable in the catalog and the override is for the controller so you need that package. It will conflict with any other overrides you have!

ALSO, 'cause there are some adorable vintage frames included in the set, I thought I could make them into changeable sim portraits! Now your sim family's portraits can match the fireplace (which is functional, also).

A lot of the items are repositoried to eachother! The shelving system, the couch, I did make note of that in the folders so you know what to download. Also, all the shelves have 10+ slots, the 'Dad's library' books function as bookshelves (and have slots on top of them).

The items I haven't converted and why (BUT I will look into them in the upcoming days I was just way too tired now lol sorry): draperies (the mesh appeared broken in the game); drink coaster (I forgot about this little guy); grand mirror (I still have to learn how to convert them lol); triangular shelf (I'm sorry but I really wasn't feeling this shelf, I remember it from my childhood and I always hated it in other ppl's houses lmao);

I also wanted to make the ceiling fan animated so it can spin and function as a light at the same time, but unfortunately right now that is above my converting capabilities! But I will look into that as well.

Right now I'm working on converting the build mode items! Precisely the doors, but the wallpapers + the carpets are included now. I will also convert the Nostalgia kitchen but it might take me a while 'cause I'm learning stuff about animating objects so I can also fix the CHALK kitchen I know it's ass, bear with me pls lmao ♥

AND this set is huge so I just know that I have forgotten about something or I have misplaced something in the folders, my adhd is having a field day SO please let me know if anything is missing or might not be working as intended! ♥

AND I mustn't forget to thank @tvickiesims for helping me out with the shelves and solved the issue of them not being recolorable, thank you Vickie! ♥

[miukki960]

Okay, so I just finished Love for Love's Sake and..... I have so many thoughts. I could wax poetic for hours about how much I loved the show, but right now what I really want to talk about is my theory on the ending and the whole concept of the "game."

Please bare with me as I don't make posts like this (or any at all for that matter) often. Please forgive me if it's incoherent, my thoughts tend to run faster than my fingers can type lol.

Here we go!

First, who is the author sunbae? I think he's the embodiment of death. When Myungha wished on the shooting star for 1. Someone to care for him and love him and 2. To disappear,he was wearing what I'm pretty sure is the same outfit as when we first see him in the bar back in episode 1. This leads me to believe Death heard his wish, so when Myungha decides to end his life and regrets his decision in the last moment, Death decides to give him a chance to change his fate.

So he creates the "game" based on a novel he supposedly wrote. I believe this is a false memory he gives to Myungha so he will willingly play the game and try to change his fate. Which leads me to my second point...

Myungha is the author. The show did a very good job at keeping this subtle at the beginning. We as an audience are led to believe he is simply transported into the videogmae world and is at the mercy of the dating sim, but they show us multiple times that that's not the case.

Once, when Myungha mentions that the missions are written in his handwriting, a second time when we get a flashback of him actually writing these missions in a notebook at the bar, and a final time when we see him pen the shows Ultimate Mission using the Author's Pen, "Please make Cha Yeowoon Happy."

I started to get the idea that Myungha was the author back in the first few episodes when we started to see the side missions. Every mission he got screamed to me "this mission is actually for you, not Yeowoon." What was the first thing he did when he was supposed to get Yeowoon more friends? He befriended Kyunghoon himself. Save 3,000,000 won? For himself. Get Yeowoon followers? Using HIS Instagram. Which leads to point number three....

The game Myungha is sent to is actually a reenactment of his senior year of high school. All the characters he meets are actual people in his earlier life, his grandma, Kyunghoon, Sangwon. But in his original "playthrough" he didn't bother to befriend or interact with them, so they went about their lives unaffected, and he forgot they existed. I say all this with the exception of Cha Yeowoon.

Cha Yeowoon is a mirrored reflection of Myungha created by Death and inserted into the game. Myungha said himself at the beginning that Yeowoon was his favorite character because he reminds him of himself. Later on, we learn that their backgrounds are almost identical too. Yeowoon lost his mother, has an absent runaway father, and was raised by his grandmother. Myungha has a dead father, absent runaway mother, and is being raised by his grandmother. So at the beginning when Death asks Myungha if he will change Yeowoon's fate and rewrite his story, he's really talking about Myungha.

Adding to this, I also noticed something rather spectacular narratively in the second half of the show. The whole show, we watched Myungha try and (mostly) succeed at making Yeowoon happy. But suddenly I realized, as we watched him get happier and happier, Myungha was falling deeper and deeper into a sadness rivaling how we saw Yeowoon in the beginning. We stopped seeing the calculations of Yeowoon's affection level, and instead saw error messages and system malfunctions, representing Myungha's emotional state.

Which begs the ultimate question on everyone's minds to be answered. If the whole point of sending Myungha back to his 19yo self and giving him Yeowoon was to get him to love himself and be happy, why were the system malfunctions so devastatingly awful and cruel? Answer: because Myungha is the author, and he's depressed and self-destructive.

He begins to feel happy with the changes he's made, he sees Yeowoon happier and he feels like he's succeeding, yet the countdown message to his death still appears. It's ominous and impending and a constant reminder that he's failing. So as the author, he tries to revert back to factory settings by getting rid of the major changes to his life, Yeowoon and his grandmother. The two people who love him most, and the two people he thinks he deserves the least.

Sangwon said it the best. Myungha's main issue is that he refuses to receive love, both from others and himself. Which is why he fails the game and dies a second time. He followed the missions for Yeowoon and refused to let them break down his own walls like they were ment to.

But Death does see the change in him through Yeowoon. Being Myungha's mirror, Yeowoon represents the change that was supposed to happen to Myungha. So when Myungha (the him he hates) deletes himself in order to make Yeowoon (the him he loves) happy ("please make Cha Yeowoon happy"), Yeowoon is able to go full-meta, breaking through the game and rewriting the mission to "Please make Tae Myungha happy."

Thus saving Myungha and allowing him a third chance at a happy life, where he receives just as much love as he gives.

Don't ask me about the "he comes back disjointed from Yeowoon's timeline" thing bc I don't understand it narratively but it sure does make for a visually pleasing ending.

[fantomette22]

Ok, let’s hear about your favorite Gehrman and Maria happy AU!!

With pleasure!!!! :D

Ok so for context yesterday I refound this post :

And I was like "hey guys in my happy AU Gehrman could totally get or make something like this for Maria!" And then it spiralled into "oh I completely forgot to explain my bloodborne "happy ending AU" so there it is finally I guess. I think I only share to a couple of persons so far XD (I have a few others many different AU and darker but it isn't for today).

I already did a few drawings in link with it : here, here, here and there. Yeah with the gehrmaria ship involve so pass your way if that isn't your thing.

I did end up making the cottage house of the AU in Minecraft since a few months ago by the way XD I even have a tanner, hunter and a freaking cleric villager who now took possession of the house 😂😭 even Laurence decided to live here now I can't. I would need to redo it I kinda screw up proportions I think. Sadly Minecraft bedrock doesn't offer to put many details. I guess it would be better in the sims? If someone knows a good game to built house (and 19th century one) I'm taking it!

So now about the AU it's kinda an AU of my fic verse who can be consider like an AU as well I suppose (even if I tried to stay as canon complaint as possible in this one). Like you can guess from the name Yharnam doesn't became hell on earth and most people don't end up dying horribly. I will copy paste below the summary so you I can explain it better.

Bloodborne happy/good ending AU Summary :

Basically after bloodborne game event (in my fic verse interpretation) our dear baby squid good hunter decided it was rewind time and give everyone a 2nd chance. Don't ask me how

Then it's not clear but either the souls of everyone were taken and yet back in their old self, decades earlier of if people from the past dreamed of the future or a weird mixt of both. But it's what happened. Decades before the game invent (Byrgenwerth era) people started wake up and remember events that haven't happen yet + message from the new great one that they were giving a 2nd chance to make things right etc. It feels like a very strange dream but they knew it was real. Some people remember more than other and they especially remember their own future and they lived/are gonna live+ a couple of other things in game event for exemple.

Now it's up to them to not make the same mistakes and make things right.

So imagine it’s like 2-3am at Byrgenwerth, everyone wake up from well this dream/ nightmare and they basically remember everything that happened to them. So you haven hundreds of people outside in their pyjama. Crying, hugging, and some almost throwing hands with others 💀 quite emotional. I know it’s pretty crazy (i don’t have everything settle yet)

*Yeah you have people who were basically bestie at the time almost punching each other because one betrayed the other years later lol and people who didn’t like each other at Byrgen but become friends way later are hugging and crying. Some people were really confused xD like the one who die earlier on the timeline or weren't very important or just leave this mess early.

So of course you have Laurence & Gehrman crying and holding each other in pyjama in the middle of the dark campus. Then Maria show up in the distance 👁️👁️  it’s even more of an emotional reunion.

So you have this 2 idiots then Maria show up in the distance, they’re stunned and then Laurence tells him « what the hell you’re waiting for just go!!!» so he runs extremely fast (maria too) and they stop a few meters away from each other just staring. Then he tried to apologize says he’s sorry for everything. « YOU’RE SORRY?! » she’s kinda mad and sad about everything that happened she kinda hit him but he is surprise it’s not that hard then she hugs him and they hug each other and cry. (Yeah the Doll is discuss a bit later it's all good)

At some point Laurence try to eclipse himself and Maria’s like « you fucking stay here! » because she have things to say to this dumbass too.

So everyone reunite and all. With Caryll/ Rom/ Ludwig etc.They are hugging and all and then you have like Damian trying to kick Mico’s ass and nobody stopping him XD

Also Charles and Laurence threw hands 💀it’s a mess.

*People who’re not suppose to be very friends at this era are in each other arms and some bff are like throwing hands.

Then Willem show up and tell everyone to shut up and calm down 😂

Charles and Maria later go to Cainhurst to hug all their family who slightly remember all the shit too. And so it don’t cause a war again as well 😂 because they're kinda salty about their nightmares were the church + executioners killed them.

Anyway they all kinda calm down and some times later they’re all reuniting by Willem & Laurence because we need to talk about what the hell happened. « Yep that was real » now time to change it. 

After this mess and discussing what the hell happened and « we need to changed things! » they need to make a big plan how to avoid the fishing hamlet pb and save the orphan. they also can't just not use blood because it does save lives so it's quite complex.

So years later (because the beginning of it during like Maria, Ludwig, Caryll & Rom's hm 3rd of 4th years of university) they manage to make sure the hamlet don't became fishmen, and help Kos give birth (she isn't dead yet but her physical body do die afterwards). And baby orphan is fine and taking care off 👍

Then it's party time 😎 Well they still have things to take care of but I didn't thought of all the details yet. So Maria & Gehrman officially get together 🎉 (never really happened in my main interpret, it's complicated) and some times later travel between Yharnam and other places to help people around (to put it shortly).

THEN they buy a house next to a forest and a small village and live there for some time, maybe start a family etc (see the drawing with the baby!! I won't get into all the family detail today through). So they got the cottage/country house ✨

How they found it? Well funny story one day old hunters were on the mission (not the happy au but fic verse) and the mayor leave the house to them so they could sleep for a few nights and Gehrman really liked the house and even made a deposit for it for a few years if one day he wanted to buy it XD

Then after some time they accidentally adopt a lil dog too (before the huge white wolfhound years later) XD

Something like this. Need to find a name for this lil guy.

And recently I've been thinking a cat could be cool too. A really fluffy one

I made those 2 other sketches last year in link with the AU as well. I never share those so there it is.

And I have a fic planned (1-2 chap max for now), an entire summary, a chapter plan and even a few sentences written for this AU in particular. But idk when I could write it. And I could even have 2 versions depending the rating @_@ so maybe one day...

So yeah it's a bit messy but it's all the fluff & some other things I need. And that's it for now!

[mkaroy]

THE AFTON FAMILY

sorry for being dead. i will continue to be dead becuz this took 48 HOURS.

as a treat i’m gonna infodump about my headcanons for a bit (read if you DARE)

so mrs afton isn’t pictured here because she was smart and left william, but william got full custody cause as we know, the fnaf government is VERY stupid and they apparently just love william. cc and michael both like their mother better because she was more patient and emotionally intelligent with the young boys, but elizabeth always favoured her father so she wasn’t complaining.

If it isn’t obvious, i don’t think william is a good parent. no matter how good of intentions you have, he had to be some kind of deranged for his sons death to lead to him being a serial killer, that doesn’t just HAPPEN. he particularly takes out his anger on michael because a) he feels more sympathy with the other two kids and b) michael has always challenged his father, he’s not scared of talking back or standing his ground (even if he gets hurt in the process). however despite this, michael still has a lot of love and respect for his father. as he gets older and as the accidents become worse and worse, through williams manipulation, michael basically works for him, trying to make things right again because he’s fully convinced everything was his fault (ALSO THANKS TO WILLIAM LOL)after he gets scooped he kinda puts it together that maybe his father never had the best intentions for him, and full of rage he does his thing and burns his father to the ground.

outside of william just being the worst to michael, making him a full time babysitter and whatnot, he’s not the kindest to the younger children either. elizabeth is easily the favourite because she tries to serve him as much as possible, but william is simply FAR too busy to care about that, so she gets pushed aside and neglected a lot. she doesn’t know why he’s doing these things so she just tries to be even more perfect, she urns for that attention in other places, i think that’s why she dolls herself up so much, because she loves the compliments she gets from mothers saying that she’s “just the cutest thing”. when her father finally shows her some love by making his specialty, an animatronic based off of her, she can’t help but be filled with excitement. I think as baby, she’s a lot more angry than she was before. she doesn’t understand why her father would do this to her and her anger is bigger than he child brain can comprehend, which is why she’s just so insanely mean in pizza sim and sister location, lashing out to michael and henry because she shouldn’t be an animatronic right now, she should be living her life free of this family. god i love elizabeth.

and then obviously cc, i think it’s a silly headcanon to imagine that william just forgot his name but remembered his initials but that’s mostly cuz i refuse to give him a name (btw all of you guys who put charlie or charlotte into his name are GENIUSES but i’m not you). he was really young when his parents actually separated, so he didn’t have much memory of his mother unfortunately. and ALSO unfortunately he was born with a fear of the animatronics, like how some kids are born with like an irrational fear of mascots of smth, that’s him. I think he was also the first one to die so his nightmares weren’t based off of elizabeth’s death. i also think that the fnaf 4 gameplay wasn’t cc because of MANY reasons (seriously guys look at the room layout…). but his irrational fear of the animatronics makes him almost constantly in tears, which michael obviously mocked. all the afton men were raised with the idea that boys shouldn’t show “feminine” emotions, which is why michael hated cc so much, because it wasn’t fair that he got to cry all the time with little to no repercussions and cc just couldn’t help himself whenever he cried. oh also in my headcanon he’s autistic, same with like most of the aftons, but he’s selectively mute and easily gets sensory overload, which is why meltdowns in the pizzeria were so common.

guys i love the aftons so much fill my asks with them if you wish i will answer ALL OF THEM (until the hyperfixation dies LMAO)

[greenplumbboblover]

Happy almost new year!

Yesterday I posted that whole "Top 10 Tumblr posts" but while that was fun to see, I figured I'd go through things I felt was a great accomplishment of this year for me. And some new years resolutions ;)

Accomplishments of 2023:

I made a website!

I know it's tiny and that it's not really great (yet) for getting tons of views, but I do want to thank everyone (I actually typed out all the names but tumblr was being stupid and I couldn't post the post then :/) for either giving it a try or using it. Without you, it would've just been a floating idea with no purpose. :) Thank you so much for believing in it!

I created a new sims story!

Gone a bit back to my original Simblr roots and made a story! Chapter 1 had been in my screenshots folder for over 2 years now, but I was just self-conscious about sharing it. I'm glad I actually got to terms that the only way to know if people will like it, is by sharing it. :)

Came back to Tumblr fully again.

Over those 2 years I hadn't really been on Tumblr much. I'd post my mod posts and that was it. Truth be told, I didn't really have much motivation to do TS3 stuff anymore at that time. But I think in the end I forgot how fun it can be :) I know I suck at interacting with people, though my anxiety often gets the best of me, and I'm genuinely sorry about that! I'm hoping to change that next year with some help.

New Year's resolutions:

I know most people probably didn't get through the whole thing because I type a lot, but if you do, hey there :)

Making Simblr.cc feel more personalized

I feel like currently it feels very download-oriented, which I'd like to keep! But that vibe also seems to be around with the more picture - oriented things. So I just want to make part of that feel more Tumblr-ish where it's just your personalized space. :)

Starting to sell stickers (and such)!

I know, kind of clique thing that everyone seems to be doing now and then, but I have seriously been loving to draw a lot. Though, my creative outlet only seems motivated when I do something for someone/something. So I was hoping to not just sell stickers for SImblr.cc as a donation thing, but also to make some of my own. :)

Finishing LISISV

I never intended to make LISISV like those shows that have been around for 20 years and going on. :p I know most of you do, which I love! But I'm not sure if I will be able to, lol.

I was hoping to rewrite the entirety of "Elly" which I did YEARS ago as a wee 14 year old (till I think, like 16?) but that's all basically teenage cringe IMO :p The concept and the characters however I always adored. So who knows!

Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies

I keep promising that I'll finish it "after this mod" and I honestly do open it up, work on it for a little bit but then I start working on a feature and it... just doesn't work with the mod? However, the more I do that, the more 'bland' the mod becomes. So I don't know what do with it anymore 😅 Anyone who knows please help!

Unless you are all okay with remnants of it, which I'm doing currently :)

Making this space mod I have been wanting to do for a while

Not many people know this about me but i'm a huge sci-fi nerd :p And I wondered how hard it would be to make this “colonizing the a planet” space mod in TS3. Though I know that most people probably wouldn't care about that, since TS3 is more about generational things and... not so much about those things. So, who knows.

I guess I just need to sit down with myself and get my shit together, honestly.

Attempting to actually talk to others.

I don't know how people do it... I honestly want to keep tap of everyone I follow but I get so exhausted, if not, my anxiety starts kicking in because "what if I say the wrong things?" It's not just a tumblr thing though, i've been like that since forever, and maybe should just reach out for help for it. I just don't know.

I just feel as of late that people put great effort into commenting on my things and I'm barely there for them. Yet, just know that I am there, that I do think of you, i'm just deleting my sentences over and over again and just giving up. I'm genuinely sorry about that.

Hopefully your year will be nice and may your wishes come true :

[cerealmonster15]

im letting sims mostly run in the bg as i do other things and peek back in now and then

chenya!!!!! he maxed mischief i think almost completely on his own bc i mostly left his sim up to his own devices lol

ive also let deuce hatch threeeee chicks in his coop. i kept getting the notif that the chickens and rooster were getting old but they havent died.. im not sure if it's bc i have aging turned off for regular sims so maybe the same goes for animals but they just stay old forever? or maybe it just takes a while and you get notified a lot lol. i remember selling epels cow bc i thought it was gonna die but maybe i was bamboozled.

chenya wants to start beef with some random npc and i do think his mischief related aspiration goal thing needs him to be disliked so i mean go nuts pal

riddle also got level 9 gaming skill lol everyone loves to autonomously use that gamer mat, and since i play heartslabyul house the most often they have the highest skills... you know who i havent played in a while tho? fish dorm. ill check them after i see if i can get trey that last promotion-

...he heard me.

he let himself in and started fixing the sink lol

i had cater practicing his spells and now SILVER HIS BOYFRIEND has called to challenge him to a duel. ive been rejecting the duels lately bc i get them when ive got sims in the middle of something but sure why not!!!

rip...

aughhh trey please yorue so CLOSEEEEEEEE next time for sure...

YAAAAY!!!!!!

...cater is so close to his too tho. fish can wait a little longer...

riddle is listening to him practice :)

YES maybe he can play jazz tunes in the mostro lounge... i s2g if i get the dine out or whatever expansion it's all over for u bitches... actually what if i remade all my twst sims again but in sims 3. i could have azul slowly purchase all the businesses in the land. true tycoon fdsjfklsdj

why does this feel like a threat kfdsfklh "hey lilia and i are FRIENDS so goof fucking LUCK trying to thwart my deal with bananaclaw now bitch"

^ this was all from earlier in the week lol i forgot to come back to it!!! but cater should have his promotion when he goes into work today. also the reaper rewards week 2 started i guess!!

so while i waited for cater to go to work i summoned the reaper again, and we gotta be friends with him, which is kinda hard bc my sims all keep developing a fear of death lol. i did swap this household to have the scare enjoyers trait on this lot or something bc JUICE IS SCARED CONSTANTLY but that makes the others get bored sometimes lol. so caters scared but hes also excited about it. i hope he doesnt fucking die or whatever lol

ok well it worked and then cater i guess got over it. he went to go talk to trey and fucking SPRINTED through the house to get to him lol it was kinda cute 😭 trey has i guess just been standing there making drink after drink after drink lol

FSJFDSFKLJ OK I GOT A SHOT OF HIM RUNNING hes going to work now and bc hes so energized i guess hes got this manic sprint going lol.

this grim reaper quest is like "ooo you need to be leveling stuff like gardening and cooking :)" as if trey and riddle havent already got that covered!!! fishing is another story lol i really need to check FLOYD but while im waiting for cater i may as well knock these out

keith invited ortho over and ortho went to go hang at treys bar lol

CAY GOT HIS PROMOTION!!

and trey learned to confuse people with magic lol. OKAY TIME TO SEE WHAT OCTAVINELLE IS DOING!!!

i sent floyd to fish and like. he has cowplant berries. i have NO memory of how he couldve gotten those. anyway that finished up the grim reaper quests this week!!! i kept seeing people on youtube pop up in thumbnails being like IT'S HARD??? but like. not with my twst boys who have stacked skills lol i have been breezing through them so far...

oh yea lemme check the relationships-

oh my god. jade and malleus went from disliked or w/e to mega haters. i dont see much different with anyone else kfhsg

i forgot floyds life aspiration stuff was related to being a spellcaster so thats why he was the only one that was already magic when i went to turn everyone else lol

azul got a huge W at work??? one of those pop up choices to invest or not in a startup and i got 50k for doing it... godspeed you business master i guess - OH HES ALREADY LEVEL 10 AT HIS JOB i didnt even realize lol... i mustve pushed it a while ago lol and jades level 9 mixologist ... good for them

okay my question on if jaderook happened bc i did it or if the game did it was answered - it mutstve been the game bc i had to make them introduce themselves despite already being in a relationship lol

also even tho i have relationship decay off it still feels like it does lol the romance i had for trey and jade seems to have shrunk and also hes stuck at acquaintances despite such a big friendship bar. thats an issue ive had pop up quite a few times in sims 4 tbh 😑 floyd and trey have also seemed to decay in the romance bar they auto started lol. but i guess maybe thats from story progression also idk!!

trey called and asked to come over so now theyre having a little polycule party while i sent floyd off to go fish more and azuls at work

HANG ON i had azul invite jamil over so they could play chess bc azul was stressed after work and like. DID I NOT ALREADY HAVE THEM DO THAT?? i guess not. i just had them at max romance soulmate level and i never had them make it official LOL wow. and azul did that on his own just now like i didnt click on it. i invited jamil over and made them hug, jamil auto rubbed azuls shoulders, and azul turned around and was like WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND lol

lilia showed up while floyd was fishing so i made them hang the fuck out!! chaos bffs RIGHT NOW!!!

i had jamil stay the night and cook w/azul... in sims azul can fulfill his dream of getting jamil in his kitchen and to willingly hang out with him LOL... floyd JADE is lurking in the back to come cause problems i think tho, hes headed straight for jamil while theyre trying to coo- HANG ON

WHAT THE FUCK LSDOFHGKLJFKLSJ he just walked right through them into the counter hdlfkjsj HEY GUYS STOP COOKING WHATS UP HIIII even at the top it says awkward encounter... fkhsdlfhs he fucking broke the laws of physics to crash their DATE!!

okayyy like he left the counter but hes standing directly between them just going on his phone , jamil and azul are just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ waiting for him to leave LOL

i saw malleus outside doing pushups and since jade hates his ass i had him run over and commit the greatest sin possible with malleus and give him a FALSE INVITATION!!!

also ace showed up uninvited, and neither of the tweels had met him yet so i had them do that - floyd immediately annoyed him LOL. then he just kinda walked inside and started using their computer, as sims tend to do . i had floyd bother him more and that hiad mixed success, so theyre not off to a great start

anyway im sleepy and also hit image limit anyway so i guess thats the end of this update klhsdklfhs maybe ill revisit diasomnia next time, i wanna give someone the goth jeans i unlocked from the grim reaper rewards. and the earrings? idr if i remembered to give them those either.

[storiesbyjes2g]

Remembering my legacy story...

That tag has me thinking about my legacy story and how the story was shaped by my discoveries and ignorance while learning about this game. The first few generations were kind of tragic. I played vanilla and on normal life, and it took me until the day before X's birthday to get married. I was so scared he was gonna die without children, causing me to fail the challenge on the first try lol. He actually was engaged before, but his fiancé showed up the night before the wedding as an elder!! My boy had to start all over. UGH! He eventually found someone, but he had to propose to her three times! FINALLY he got married and had two children before he croaked.

His wife died on their son's teen birthday, leaving both children an orphan! I was terrified social services was gonna come and take them away! 🤣 I didn't know yet that teenagers were just baby-faced adults. 😑 But man, that period was hard. Those poor kids had to grow up way too fast. They got jobs to pay the bills, and they had almost zero free time. They were tired ALL the time because all they did was work. They had their jobs, but they also had a garden they had to take care of because the flowers paid the lion's share of the bills. They stopped doing their homework because it took up too much time. Their grades plummeted, and the principal called every day. But somehow I discovered you could have their birthdays at any time, so I aged the oldest one up like 4 or 5 days early because those poor kids needed a break!

(more generations under the cut)

At the end of generation two and through three, I felt like I had a good handle on the game and what it could do, so my curiosity came out and so did Stories By Jes2G lol. That's when this story started to get real messy LOL. My heir had a girlfriend, but the relationship wasn't really going anywhere so he started seeing this other girl. But he didn't know girlfriend #1 was pregnant! He fell all the way in love with girlfriend #2, moved her in (learned my lesson from gen 1!!), married her, and knocked her up. They had a happy little family for a while. No sooner than he forgot about girlfriend #1, the bastard son showed up at his door all casual like my mama said you're my daddy...nice house! 🤣 That did not go over well. As a matter of fact, his wife was very upset and tried to burn off some steam on the treadmill. But she was an elder and... RIP Adalynn.

Generation four was when I learned just how much you can learn about your characters just by letting them be autonomous and watching them go. The tragedy of this generation was what happens when two horny teens get married out of high school lol. Those two had nothing in common and led two separate lives under the same roof. That was partly because I was focused on making them complete their aspirations, but also they rarely interacted with each other when they were autonomous. The wife was a career woman and was not interested in having a third child. But the first two were girls, and this legacy was a strict patriarchy and I needed a son. That caused a lot of drama in the story, but he found a way to make her give in. But things were never the same, and she eventually divorced him and left the kids which of course affected the next generation.

Every generation up til like...seven had some kind of drama/tragedy, and I didn't realize it until I stopped and read the story myself. I was like WHOA! This is so much! This is what I put my readers through? LOL I made sure to tone things down in the second half of gen 8 because we needed the break. We had peace and happiness for a while followed by a veeery slow burn. Then I kicked the drama back up and ended on a hopeful tragic note, bring back the fall out from the gen 3 mess. It was a great ride!

I used to love building in The Sims 3, but something about this game's building mechanics completely turned me off. To be honest, I don't quite know what it is about building that just infuriates me. So the generations two through like...eight(???), my legacy house was made up of styled rooms lol. I honestly don't know anyone else who even used those things. I'd just piece together those rooms and close them in with walls lol. Needless, the legacy house was very odd and much bigger than it needed to be because of all these oddly shaped blank spaces. 😅 I made use of every single one of them too!

[eslanes]

I'm so fearful of getting canceled on here. If you don't post soc you're racist, if you play a family of soc and you're white you're racist. How do you win? I try to sprinkle sims of different shapes, sizes and colors but it feels performative sometimes like I'm just trying to not be called out?

Okay! As a disclaimer this is the opinion of a dumb white bitch, I can only speak for myself.

I've been here since 2016 and I've yet to be cancelled (to my knowledge anyway, I know a lot of people don't like me but that's a them problem lol) so I know it's possible. I think what has gotten me through is my willingness to listen and learn, especially from my mistakes. I'm by no means perfect but I'm always trying to be better. That and I pull no punches when I see shit that's not okay.

But! Let me get what you're saying straight. You sprinkle a little variety into your sims for fear of being called out? Would you not have any variety if not for fear? I agree that it sounds performative but only because it sounds like you're doing it out of obligation than actually wanting to make a variety of sims. If this is the case then I think that's something to be further examined on your part and why that is. People often say it's not that deep but it is my personal opinion that people's games do reflect their experiences, values, beliefs in a cute little idealized world. If your game only has straight, white, thin etc sims, what does that really say about your beliefs or values? (As an aside I do think it's a bit different for marginalized peoples as they often have very little representation in media and culture and therefore create it for themselves in their games). Anyways the bottom line in this specific case is that white people have privilege and only wanting to be surrounded by fellow whites is superrrr sketchy.

Edit: I almost forgot to address the white people playing with soc part. There's nothing wrong with stepping into someone else's shoes and playing someone who is not like you, not at all (unless of course you're operating only on stereotypes - but that's a whole other issue). The problem, again, comes when it is purely performative, especially in this case where an individual goes from being called out for posting no soc and keeping company with known racists and saying nothing to whatever weird Rachel Dolezal shit is going on over there now. I don't think I need to elaborate on why that's fucked up.

Anyway this is really fucking long so I'll shut up for now.

[maybeimamuppet]

hi so i was reading your reblog tags about mummies and that you have a sim of cady which i think implies that you have like. a sims world? and i would like to know if there were any other misadventures or shenanigans going on in that possible world that you think are silly and would be willing to share.

hello i sure do

i can’t remember everything that’s happened bc i’ve been playing with them for like three years atp so i forget a lot but here’s what i do remember lol. i’ve also posted some things about them before if you’re in the mood to REALLY go digging through my blog lmao

ANYWAY here’s some mg sims nonsense

-cady is constantly getting injured. cursed, bitten by cobras, hit by lightning. she is the most accident prone baby ive ever had in every save file

-sims 3 janis would constantly roast garlic over a fire. as in entire heads of garlic. and eat that just off the skewer. and then get mad at me bc her breath smelled

-in my most recent play through cady rejected janis’ marriage proposal bc i forgot they hadn’t even like. kissed yet

-karen and aaron are CONSTANTLY pranking toilets and it’s fucking annoying

-i had to abandon one save file because, in the middle of winter, damian came to visit cadnis and went swimming in their backyard outside. i had the twins and was having cadnis put them to bed and damian FROZE TO DEATH. everyone is devastated. in the midst of grief and trying to figure out how to make ambrosia to bring him back, gretchen came over and did literally the exact same thing. so i had two urns and a shit load of depressed sims in my house and i just gave up.

-in my most recent play their christmas tree immediately exploded the first time i tried to use it

-i forgot to set their sexualities once and janis cheated on cady. with damian. so that was fun trying to sort out

-their cat causes so much hassle but i love her. stan elvira

-people will constantly come over to cadnis’ house and just watch tv or something. and not say a single word to them at all. which honestly is fitting i think

-janis got cursed by the same gnome about six times in an hour and almost died bc she got hit by lightning so many times

-the other five are constantly trying to fuck each other bc the sims doesn’t know how to handle polyamory. and they’re also always depressed bc they’re “cheating” on each other

-cady got stuck halfway up a staircase for a solid twelve hours and nearly died until i figured out how to cheat and move her

[alpacahat67]

Stupid Shit I've Done/Still Do as TWST Characters

Not an original idea. But I forgot who originally posted this LOL so if you know please please please tell me so I can add it because I can't find the post!

Riddle: Showed a 7th grader his 101% in ELA after the 7th grader called him dumb (in response to HIM calling THE 7TH GRADER DUMB) just to flex

Trey: Once fell asleep on a bus with his head against the window. He woke up and one of the lenses of his glasses was beside him in the seat. He doesn't know what happened or how it got there.

Cater: The only surefire way he's found to motivate himself to drink water was to buy the biggest, most OBNOXIOUS water bottle he could find and just keep it by his bed.

Ace: Watched someone steal the person sitting across from him's gum wrapper and then played dumb when said person was looking all over for the stupid thing.

Deuce: Checks those stupid bubble sheets teachers give him 50 times over just to REALLY make sure that he won't fail. Also can't multiply or divide on paper at all. It's mental math, a calculator, or nothing.

Leona: Once slept 12 hours consecutively and is 90% sure that he stayed awake for another 2 hours before just going back to sleep again.

Ruggie: Picked up a random ass ring off the ground of the hallway. Put it in his pocket. Never wore it, it's still in that pocket.

Jack: Mediocre at checkers, but refuses to learn chess. His friends keep pressuring him to learn chess but he says "not until you learn checkers" and none of them want to learn checkers.

Azul: Once agreed to cashapp someone $4 in exchange for 3 REAL dollars solely because he understood and respected the grindset that the person had going on. Profit.

Floyd: Eats candle wax. For fun. Just little tiny bits of it tho.

Jade: Got bored and decided to set shit on fire with a candle. Almost burned his room down with a candle and a dumdum wrapper.

Kalim: Called treble clef bass clef with FULL CONFIDENCE. OUT LOUD.

Jamil: Had a solitaire phase. Is actually very good at solitaire now.

Vil: Now has an embarrassing amount of beauty blenders/makeup sponges because he had his old one, and then he bought a shit ton, and then was given another as a gift and now he has too many and can't use all of them.

Rook: Cultivated a grandma army on cookie clicker that he's still growing.

Epel: Frequently swam in a creek when he was younger. That wasn't uncommon despite not being an ADVERTISED SWIMMING SPOT back then but now you aren't allowed to swim there, and it makes him wonder what was in that water.

Idia: Still petty to this day because he competed in this stupid writing thing and after winning 3rd place he got his score sheet from all the judges back and this one judge TORE INTO HIM and said he "straddled the fence" with his opinion and then the judge wrote "good word choice." He doesn't know how he "straddled the fence" because he very clearly stated his opinion IN THE THESIS OF HIS ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY and thus is pissed.

Ortho: Idia accidentally hit him in the face with a soccer ball and he cried. (How did he cry he's a robot? Don't know. All I know is my uncle kicked a ball at me and I started sobbing.)

Malleus: Was once brought to Buc-ee's at 11 PM at night (I'm not sure what the context would've been for Malleus but for ME this was DIRECTLY AFTER A MARCHING BAND COMPETITION and I was actually exhausted and confused). He was very sleep deprived and terrified of this giant gas station. Made the decision to hate it.

Lilia: Has 900+ hours on the Sims 3. Is not ashamed.

Sebek: Was an avid Wings of Fire reader until 5th grade

Silver: Was looking directly up when a can of spray paint toppled off a shelf and hit him in the eye. Ow.

[theverumproject]

Writeblr Interview Tag!

Thanks for the tag @darekasama

Tags: @teamarine777 + open tag!

Get on my tag list here

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Short stories are my good night and good morning stories. And I absolutely love to read novels. I loved to write short stories as a child, now I prefer to work on one big project, which is currently almost novel sized (Just need a few thousand more words!)

What genre do you prefer reading?

I love Sci fi and Horror mixed with romance (I am a ✨monsterfucker✨). Scientific literature is also embedded deeply into my heart. I swear I can feel my intelligence leveling up, like the green bar in The Sims, lol.

Are you a planner or a “write as I go” kind of person?

I'm a planner. Before I began writing The Robotic Era, I wrote down every major thing that's gonna happen and every single idea that came to my mind. 

What music do you listen to while writing?

I don't listen to any music. Thoughts are like noise to me. So when I write, I can't have more actual noise in my ears than in my head. Music is more like a tool to block inside and outside noises.

Favorite books/movies?

I just finished 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari a few weeks ago. I really enjoyed reading it! It gave me a lot of insight into our world and how we work. I really recommend it! Definitely up there with my favorites. I also read the autobiography of an African Woman a few years ago. From her childhood, when she fled from being married, to how she became a model. It is beyond me how I read a book of such size in one afternoon. Sadly I forgot what it was called.

As for movies, my favorite one is Interstellar. I also love Bumblebee, the Alien movies, the Terminator movies, Wall-E and more of the sorts. I'm also a sucker for horror, especially the classic slasher movies. While no horror movie really scares me, there was only one that ever chilled me; The Blair Witch Project. I still slept like a baby afterwards though, lol. But I guess atmospheric horror (or whatever you call it) gets me the most.

Any current WIPs?

The Robotic Era is the second book I'm working on. It's part of the Verum Series.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

I have a few personas, so I'm gonna show two of them. The one for this account and the one that I call my IRL sona.

The one for this account is just a black entity that's drawn with minimal effort.

The IRL sona is also drawn with minimal effort. It wears a black shirt with “Slapknutz” written on it three times. The text is too big for the shirt, so it always hangs halfway in the air. There's a black long sleeve shirt underneath it. The jeans are black with a chain/s attached to it. It wears black leather boots on its feet. The mustache, beard and top hat are all optional accessories.

Awww look! They're holding hands!

Create a character description of yourself: 

Oh no… Oh nooo… I'll just do appearance and personality, you don't need to know much more than that, lol. Well, actually, you don't need to know anything about me, since I'm just here to write, technically. But oh well… 

I'm gonna do this in first person though, since any other way would feel a little weird.

Man, that would just be me talking about myself, fuck. Now stop yapping, me, and tell something about yourself! (Is this procrastination?)

Appearance: Everything about me is loooong. My hair (which reaches just past my butt), my legs, my fingers, my nose, my forehead, my clothes (always long jeans and sleeves), hell, even my toes are fucking long for some reason! My clothes are always black and a friend always calls me a “langer, schwarzer Strich in der Landschaft” (long, black line in the landscape), also because of how tall and thin I am. My skin is pale, my hair is brown and my eyes are green brown (in a certain lighting I think they are a shade of unhealthy piss, lol), there's not much more color to me than that. Except for the band T's that I always wear, the pictures on it often have color. When you see me, it's pretty obvious that I'm a metalhead. A coworker once told me that I look like a “badass elf”.

Personality: I did a Myers-Brigg personality test a few years ago and it said that I'm an INFJ, but Idk if it was/still is accurate. 

The first thing that I always say is that I am a creative person. I think my creativity is what makes me me, without it, I'm dead. Then there's curiosity, I love to learn about all kinds of fields of science. This is also were a lot of my inspiration (as a Sci fi author) comes from. I'm very quiet. I went to a LGBTQ place thingie once (been there before, but that was the first time alone). I sat there for three hours and said nothing, couldn't say anything. I was told by a guy that he had never met such a quiet person as me. I do like to talk, but I'm horrible at it when there's a group of people. I also need a person that is more talkative than I am.

I really like to work. I don't feel like I am, but I've been told that I am a very trustworthy and punctual individual. If I have a job, I will finish it with good quality. Though I think that's just a basic trait that everybody should have. I feel like I am almost a perfectionist, but if something frustrates me too much, I will give up/leave it be. 

I also constantly daydream and listen to the music in my head. I truly live in my own world, while still functioning normally in the real one.

This monday, a person told me that I remind them of Ozzy Osbourne, something about “the way I'm standing there”. She said it makes her think of that one video.

Ok, this is already wayyyy to much…

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Nope, never done it.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

Ohhhh yes! People die in most parts of TRE.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Coffee makes me nauseous, but I like tea! Drink it every morning and evening.

Slow or fast writer?

I'm rather slow. I'm slow in everything that I do, actually.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Science and random other things that I encounter in the world. Sometimes characters and other things randomly appear in my head though. Just today, while on the bus, a robot that I have never seen or thought about in my entire life just appeared in my head. Who the fuck are you and what do you want? You look cool, but please let me forget you, I already have way too many robot characters.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Like fantasy fantasy? I'd be a scientist, doing my science stuff, like staring at the stars, thinking about atoms and electricity, making hydrochloric acid and finding uranium for fun. But then the church starts to think I'm doing witchcraft and burns me at the stake :(

Most fav book cliche:

I have always liked reading books where the MC is absolutley traumatized, depressed and suicidal with a future love interest that absolutley hates them. Fuck, suffering tastes good!

Least favorite cliche:

Misunderstandings/miscommunication. Just fucking talk to each other, idiots!

Favorite scene to write?

I kind of enjoy writing dialogues where two characters are just having some fun. Something that's lighthearted with a little teasing and some non serious bickering

Reason for writing?

Science and having to let everything out of my brain before it gets overfilled, stuff falls out and gets lost.

[p4ranormaluv]

BED CHEM

amidst trying to keep your gpa up and not get kicked off the cheer team, you take your friend’s advice and ask jake sim, one of the smartest students in your campus, to tutor you. you see him as a snarky know-it-all who’s obsessed with correcting your every mistake, and he sees you as a dumb cheerleader with a rep for breaking hearts. but as things unfold, you discover you both have something to learn from each other, and it’s a lot more than just algebra.

pairing) nerd!jake x cheerleader!reader

genre) smut/pwp, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst

contents) f!reader, popular!jake/reader, jake's a smart a.ss [& a jerk at first but let him cook], basketball player!heeseung/jay, temporary reader x hee, exes, misunderstood reader, brief conversation about throwing up, eventual pining, desc. of anxiety, fear of emotional intimacy, jealousy, lack of communication, happy ending, [ft. itzy's chaeryeong, skz's felix, & layla]

smut warnings) under cut!

wc) 14.5k

now playing) bed chem — sabrina carpenter

notes) i took the lyrics “come right on me, i mean camaraderie!” and ran with it. fic’s moodboard here!

smut warnings) several smut scenes, switch!jake/reader, angry s.ex?, s.ex in locker room, jake fu.cks reader in cheer uniform, ti.tty sucking, or.al fixation!jake, munch!jake, or.al s.ex, degra.dation, begging, hair pulling, c.um swallowing, exhibi.tionism, reader makes jake almost c.um in his pants during class, s.ex in janitor’s closet [they do it in a bed eventually lol], lots of kissing, praise, flexible!reader, pull out method [dont], jake slaps reader’s thigh once, petnames [baby, little/baby/good girl], reader mentions being on the pill, raw s.ex

COPYRIGHT OF @/P4RANORMALUV. IF YOU STEAL MY WORK I WILL FIND OUT & PUBLICLY CALL YOU OUT.

the gym is bustling, filled by cheerleaders and the basketball team as you all practice for the game on wednesday.

“okay! 5 minute break and then we’ll start those high kicks again!” your cheer captian announces after confirming to your coach with some silent hand gestures.

you follow your team as they walk to the bleachers, most grabbing their water bottles or sitting down and wiping the sweat off their skin with a towel.

you reach into your duffel bag, rummaging with your hand blindly for a few moments before realizing you don’t feel your water bottle. unzipping it completely, you search for a bit before letting your head drop with an exhausted sigh.

“what’s wrong?” chaeryeong asks from the seat above yours as she redoes her ponytail.

“i somehow forgot my water.”

“oh, you can have some of mine!” she offers, raising her owala to you.

“do you know how much bacteria is probably in that?” you smile with a teasing grimace, even though you really do mean what you say.

“wow, not even a thank you!” chae pretends to be hurt, putting an offended hand to her chest. “i bet you’re a stanley girly, aren’t you?”

“nope. just a plain water bottle i got from target. secure screw cap, no straw, easy to clean.”

“are you trying to sell it to me?” chae quirks a playful brow and you laugh, waving a hand in front of you as you start to walk towards the gym’s exit. “if you want to drink from your mold filled bottle go ahead. i’m gonna go to the water fountain.”

chaeryeong sticks her tongue out at you just as you enter the hallway, so you make sure to pop your head back in and do the same childish expression at her before approaching the fountain and leaning down to take a drink.

“oh! s-sorry.” a deep voice says as you see sneakers suddenly appear in your downward view. you wipe your mouth and lift your head up to see heeseung, who evidently just came out of the restroom and almost walked right into you.

his hair remains in his face despite him brushing it back with a muscular arm, glistening biceps almost distracting you enough that you forget to answer. but once your eyes travel from his sculpted arms, to his jersey that clings to his sweaty chest, and finally his sweet, doe eyes that stare at you, you remember that he’s expecting you to reply.

“no, it’s okay! don’t worry about it.”

“did you forget your water too?” he chuckles, the sound sending a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“yeah…” you answer lamely.

apparently all of your hot cheerleader mojo goes down the drain when you’re in front of lee heeseung, your college’s top basketball player. (it also doesn’t help that you’ve been crushing on him for a good month now.)

“too?” you echo, unable to think of anything else to keep the conversation going but desperately wanting to. despite having regular practices in the same vicinity, this is the first conversation you’ve had, aside from some lingering stares and a few shared smiles.

“jay usually brings a cooler of drinks, but he didn’t this time. probably forgot.”

“oh, pre game nerves, perhaps?” you joke, smiling and tilting your head teasingly.

“we’re not nervous.” heeseung smirks with a flirty tone. “we always win.”

“cocky, are we?”

“maybe. or maybe you cheering for me throughout the game is my lucky charm.”

you bite down your grin to keep yourself under control, delighted at how well your dry conversation has turned into some playful flirting. you hoped he was into you, but you’re not going to assume that from a few distant smiles.

“what makes you think i’m cheering just for you?”

heeseung chuckles and steps closer, you noting how he has to tilt his head down to look at you because he’s so damn tall. his eyes zero in on yours, an intensity filling the air as he takes a breath to speak—

but right before he can, another voice interrupts as it echos down the hallway.

“yo, hee! they’re needing you back, man.” a shorter man runs up, it not taking you long to recognize him.

it’s jake sim, one of the smartest seniors on your campus.

you feel like you’re from completely different worlds whenever you see him. he’s popular like you, yes. but he has a pretty clean rep with perfect grades to match. professor’s love him for his kiss-ass attitude and students…well.

they want to fuck him— or him fuck them. either way. nothing really matters to anyone when your face is as cute as his and you have a hot aussie accent.

not that you relate to the any of those sentiments. you actually find him annoying as fuck.

“oh,” jake mumbles when he notices you behind heeseung’s larger frame, sounding almost bothered by your presence.

well the feeling’s mutual.

“come on, dude. they sent me to get you.” he further urges, grabbing heeseung’s arm.

“what are you even doing here, jake?” you ask with a hand raising to your hip, only a hint of your annoyance at the interruption showing in your tone. he’s not on the basketball team, neither cheer. he has no reason to be here.

“not right now, pom-poms.” the boy dismisses, not even bothering to look at you as he drags heeseung off.

you scoff in utter disbelief at his rudeness.

he always steals the spotlight when you’re about to answer a question in your one shared class, and now he’s stealing your man? (granted, he’s not your man— but he could have been, if jake hadn’t ran over!)

you stand and wonder what he was about to say. what if that conversation could have ended with him finally asking for your number!

“y/n! c’mon, girl! it’s go time!” one of your team member’s call out from the gym doorway.

you sigh before running to join your squad.

(❤︎)

it’s taken you to nearly be under your minimum gpa to admit that you’re failing algebra, a course you’re required to take. not only can this harm your future, but you could get kicked off the cheer team.

“well, you have to do something!” chaeryeong whisper-yells at you as you sit in physics class.

“i don’t want to have to pay for a tutor, i’m broke enough as it is.”

“then ask one of your friends.” chae suggests.

“…none of my friends are that smart,” you giggle under your breath, chaeryeong slapping you on the arm and causing an echo to resound in the room. like two mischievous children, chae retracts her hand to her lap and you straighten your posture, waiting to make sure no one is looking over at you.

a few moments later, and chae leans closer to you, eyes staring forward in an attempt to be more subtle.

"just ask jake. he's an engineer major. he’s gotta be good at algebra. and i heard he's loaded, so he doesn’t even need your money."

"hell no." you answer plainly, lips falling into a straight line as you glance over at the boy who’s rows away from you, nearly at the front of the class.

try hard.

"oh, come on, y/n. he's not that bad."

"he is. and besides, we’re not friends and i couldn’t ever bring myself to ask a favor of him, nevertheless for free!”

“he’s your best shot, dude. it’s either this, or officially screw yourself over.”

chaeryeong’s words— though not eloquently put, are true. and they annoyingly ring in your head for the remainder of the class.

chae hurries out to go to her next class, as does most everyone else. but you have a little bit of time.

so you linger in your seat, watching how meticulous jake is about placing his things in his backpack, wondering how he manages to straighten his glasses in the most egotistical way possible. you wait until jake starts walking towards the exit and is farther away from the professor, not wanting to have this conversation right in front of him. finally (reluctantly) you stand up and catch up to jake’s side.

he doesn’t bother slowing down, continuing to walk.

“hey, uh- jake,” you begin, feeling weird to say his name to his face. you cut to the chase, not caring enough to keep up impressions with him. “look, i need a tutor. i’m-“

“no, sorry.” he cuts you off simply, leaving you a tad stunned as your stride is broken. you stare at the back of his head until he turns a corner, then you go jogging after him.

“what? but, i-i”

“i don’t want to have to spend my free time tutoring someone.” jake explains, glancing at you before looking away just as quickly.

“i can pay you.” you say, innerly embarrassed at how fast your resolve has crumbled. chaeryeong would be laughing at you if she could see this right now.

“not interested.”

you can almost hear her in your brain…

“well, there’s gotta be something!”

jake finally comes to a sudden halt, almost causing you to run into his backpack before he turns to face you.

“i’m assuming it’s grammar you need help with?”

your initially surprised expression drops into a glare as you reply with a clearly fed up, “no. algebra.”

jake seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling at you in a way that actually seems like it may be genuine (or at least not entirely snarky).

“walk my dog.”

“huh?” is that a euphemism for something?

“my dog, layla. she’s full of energy but sometimes i’m just too tired after classes or work. do you like animals?”

“i’m a biology major.”

jake looks a bit stunned, eyes blinking to open wider as they skim over your appearance for a second.

“what?” you start, very clearly offended. “why do you look so surprised?”

“i just thought it’d be…something else.”

“like what?”

“i don’t know. something in the creative field?”

“that’s stereotypical.”

jake bites on his bottom lip, you realizing he’s trying to conceal a smile, but before you can get mad about it— he continues.

“look, if you want it, we have a deal. yes or no, pom-poms?”

a flare of anger sparks inside you every single time he refers to you as ‘pom-poms’.

with lips pressed into an agitated line, you stretch out your open palm demandingly. “give me your phone.”

“why?”

“so i can give you my number and type in the contact name myself. my names y/n, not pom-poms.”

jake laughs under his breath, handing you his phone and watching as you type in your information.

“so is that a yes?”

“yes. can we meet tomorrow?”

“at my place.” jake agrees. “jay’s my only roommate so it should be less distracting for you.”

you hand jake back his phone, the man giggling at the little wave emoji you sent to yourself through his number so you’d have it in your phone.

“by the way, i already knew your name.”

“then why do you always call me pom-poms?”

“becaause…you always have them?” jake answers like it’s obvious. you scoff, putting an unamused hand to your hip.

“i don’t have them right now, do i?”

“no, and it’s honestly a little eerie.” he smirks, clearly intentionally getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.

“whatever,” you exhale, completely over the conversation. “i gotta go to my next class. see ya.”

“see ya, pom-poms.”

…jerk.

(❤︎)

heeseung was right, they won the game, and his team wanted to go out and celebrate. it wasn’t a big win or anything, just a casual competition, but every now and then they like to celebrate their wins by going out to eat or a casual hang out at someone’s dorm. you also think they do it so they have an excuse to invite you and your cheer squad to hang out.

and this time was no different. after the game you all piled in friend’s cars and headed over to a small but good local restaurant nearby. unfortunately, you never got a chance to talk to heeseung. the restaurant was smaller and a bit packed with all of you in there, and you and hee ended up being seated far away from each other. all the different conversations and bustle of the restaurant covered up anyone’s voices besides who was right next to you, so you couldn’t even hear him.

still, it was fun. you ended up rolling into bed a little past 1 am.

which you’re now really regretting as you had to wake up at 5 am to get ready and rush to conditioning practice. once you’ve finished your drills, showered, and are walking to your first class of the day, you decided to text jake.

you: hey 👋 we still down for today

jake sim: Yes.

okay. one text and you’re already seeing some similarities in how he texts with your 60 year old uncle.

you: there a certain time i should come

you: also can u give me ur building number

jake: Is there*

you: huh

jake: IS there a certain time I should come?*

jake: Do you have something against vowels and punctuation?

you: omg!!

you: just tell me the fuckin time and address!!?!

you: is that enough punctuation for you?

jake: …

jake: Fucking*

(❤︎)

after cheer practice you hop in your car and enter in the address that was like pulling teeth for jake to finally give you. you can tell by looking at the address that it’s off campus, and as you pull up in jake’s driveway you realize chaeryeong was right when she said jake was loaded.

okay, maybe not loaded loaded, but he’s definitely well off, judging by the outside of his very nice home, perfectly stripe cut grass and shapely shrubbery. there’s even multiple cars here, which you note with a bit of confusion.

you stand and knock at the big, sculpted wooden doors for a minute, before simply trying the knob, which is luckily unlocked.

when you step inside you here distant voices.

deciding to follow the sound, it leads you to a billiard room where you see heeseung, jake and jay playing pool. they’re all stood around while a blonde haired man has his back to you, leaned over as he angles his shot. they still haven’t noticed your presence yet, and you feel incredibly awkward despite being invited to be here.

“um…jake?”

at your voice, all the men turn at once, the blonde man revealing his face to you.

you’re struck with horror as you both stare wide eyed at each other. someone’s speaking but you don’t catch it, everything sounding like it’s under water.

it’s lee felix. aka your ex that you abruptly ghosted after almost a year into your relationship.

“y/n?” felix utters, and it’s like you just breached the water’s surface, a sudden wave of consciousness washing over you as everything comes back into focus.

“y/n, i’m so sorry! i legitimately forgot!” jake says, and you take your opportunity to look at him and away from felix.

“it’s- its okay, i just…um,” you’re about to offer to leave, before heeseung speaks up.

“just stay, y/n. ever played pool?” he smiles sweetly, and the goosebumps that have raised on your skin soothe a little at his comforting expression.

“yeah! we can play cutthroat!” jay exclaims, already going over to the rack to get you a cue.

“she can just use mine.” heeseung stops him, coming to your side and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“we’ve come close enough to poking someone’s eye out already, i don’t think we need more pointy sticks in the equation.” he laughs.

“okay, but i’m going first, since i was going to win that last game anyways.”

“as if, bro!” jay tries with jake. “i was gonna win!”

as heeseung moves to intervene the two boys and rearrange the balls on the table, at some point felix silently appears by your side, startling you as he softly says “have you played cutthroat before?”

“no,” you answer just as softly as the boys fill in the silence with their bickering. “i don’t even know how to play regular pool.”

felix laughs with a shining smile, and your chest fills with bittersweet nostalgia at the familiar yet almost forgotten memory of the deep timber of felix’s laugh and the crinkle of his nose that often pairs with it.

“don’t worry, cutthroat is actually a pretty good game for your first time despite the name. want me to show you how to hold your cue?”

“is that the stick thing?” you ask, and felix bursts into higher pitched giggles, the warmth of his aura making the tension in your body melt away.

(❤︎)

so much for jake’s place being ‘less distracting’. it’s 9 pm and you don’t think you’re actually going to have a session with jake tonight. but oh well, you’re actually having fun!

after about two hours of playing pool and just hanging out, you ask jake where the bathroom is before walking down the long hallway.

as you’re walking back, coming up to the archway of jake’s living room you all ended up migrating to, you hear heeseung speaking.

“i didn’t know you were tutoring her?”

“yeah,” jake answers with a huffed laugh. “i haven’t actually tutored her yet, and i probably never will.”

your brows furrow as you halt your feet, standing in the hallway silently to listen.

“what do you mean?” another voice asks. you think it’s jay.

“i don’t think she’s really looking to brush up on her algebra, man. she’s a typical dumb cheerleader, she’s probably just over here because she knows i’m friends with the basketball team.”

“dude-“ heeseung starts, but another thicker aussie accent interrupts.

“that’s fucked, man! how can you say that about her?”

there’s a tense few moments of silence, and you’re not sure if you wished you could see what’s happening or glad that you can’t. you blink as moisture starts to build up in your eyes.

“me? what about you? i’m surprised you’re defending her. didn’t she drop you like you meant nothing to her right when your relationship started to get serious?”

you can’t. you can’t listen anymore.

as quiet and quickly as possible, you head back to the bathroom before a watery gasp can expose your presence. a hand is rubbing at your eyes as tears stream down your face when your hands feel the cool metal of the doorknob.

you shut the door behind you and slide down it, onto your butt, crying into your knees that you wrap your arms around.

then you feel something wet swipe up your leg and you flinch, looking up to see a blonde little dog looking at you curiously.

“oh,” you whisper aloud to yourself, trying not to think about how stuffy you sound. “you must be layla, huh?”

the dogs mouth opens up to let her tongue hang out, appearing like she’s giving you a smile as she sits down obediently, tail wagging behind her.

you can’t help but let out a somber little giggle, wiping a tear off your cheek before leaning over to pet her on the head.

“you’re cute.” you smile, letting her soft fur and rhythmic panting calm you down.

a few minutes later the door opens, jake’s head popping in.

“oh, there you are.” he says, watching how layla is spread out on her back in your lap as you pet her belly.

“did you get lost?”

“uh, yeah.” you take the excuse, gently pushing layla off and standing up. “couldn’t find the bathroom.”

“heeseung and felix are about to leave, but they wanted to say bye.” jake explains, and you follow him out the door and to wherever the boys are.

“okay.” you reply, trying to make your voice sound smooth and not like you were just crying.

“hey, jake?”

the aussie looks over at you as you continue walking.

“can we still get a short tutoring sesh in?” you ask innocently on the outside, but inwardly there’s the burn of spite in your lungs. “i know it’s kinda late but i really need it.”

“oh…yeah, sure.” jake answers, looking away from you.

you bite down a salty smirk.

(❤︎)

after going over to jake’s house you turned his texts to mute and haven’t looked ever since.

it’s saturday night, which means football competition. a neighboring team is at your college’s home field to play head to head, and right now, it’s anybody’s game.

you’re in the middle of a cupie stunt right now, your base holding your body up with one hand as you focus on balancing and keeping on a big smile.

once your team’s routine is over you go to sit on the sidelines as the announcer’s voice booms over the speakers.

“hey, i’m gonna go get a gatorade.” chaeryeong taps on your shoulder, pointing at the food vendor who walks up the bleacher steps. “do you want anything?”

you turn to look, which proves to be a mistake as you make direct eye contact with none other than jake sim, who’s staring right at you amongst the crowd (and he looks a little ticked).

you snap your head back straight, letting out a yelped ‘no’. chae luckily doesn’t really pick up on your change of tone with how loud the crowd is, and replies with an ‘okay’ before jogging after the descending vendor.

she comes back a few moments later with her drink and a bag of chips.

“i don’t know how you eat during the games, aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick during a routine?”

“you’re on tiktok too much.” chae replies as she pops open the bag. “stop watching those horrible clips. it’s not very likely to happen at all. and i’m not a flyer like you. even if i puked, it wouldn’t get on anyone.”

“okaay! sorry i brought it up, getting grossed oout!”

chaeryeong laughs, bumping her shoulders with yours.

“hey, tell me about how it went with jake?”

you sigh with a roll of your eyes. “he only taught me for like, an hour.”

“oh!” chae squeals amidst chewing. “perhaps that was because you were too busy falling in love?!”

“oh my god, shut up, chae!”

the girl takes a quick swig of her drink before doing the exact opposite of what you asked. “do you know how many couples start off hating each other? you know, that burning anger you have for him could make for some hot se—“

“chaeryeong!” you gasp and chae laughs at how you sound like a scandalized victorian woman who just saw someone’s ankles. “stop it! that’s never happening.”

“i bet you’d have really good bed chem.” she states like it’s a fact.

“whatever.” you say just as the stadium erupts.

your home team doesn’t win, but your cheer squad goes out on the field to do your last routine anyways. you all go to the locker room to change after, most of your team moving quick to go to some party.

“you not coming, y/n?” your friend asks, chaeryeong also looking at you for your answer.

“i don’t think so, guys. maybe next time.”

eventually everyone walks out, leaving you alone as you set your pom-poms down.

amidst taking off your top, your hair falls into your face, leading you to shake your head as you blindly place your shirt inside your locker. when you open your eyes, you spot jake in your peripheral, staring at you wide eyed like an idiot while holding open the door.

“jake!” you screech, moving to cover your chest with your arms. “what the fuck!”

“i’m- i-i’m sorry, i was just trying to find you-“

“i don’t care, pervert! don’t come in the locker room!”

even with the distance, you can see how jake’s ears turn red. his face morphs from embarrassed panic to mad (and still embarrassed), the boy stomping closer until he’s right in front of you.

“i’m not a pervert, you kept ignoring my texts! we had a deal, you know!”

“well, you pissed me off!”

“me! how did i piss you off?”

“you- you’re…so fucking annoying!” you let out, not even knowing where you’re going with this as you get up in jake’s face.

“you ruined my chances with heeseung and act like an ass all the time!”

“ruined your chances! how did i ruin your chances with hee?” jake asks, and you back down a bit, not wanting to tell jake that you heard what he said that night.

at your silence, jake takes the opportunity to continue. “i mean, yeah. i don’t want you to be with heeseung, but that doesn’t mean i’d meddle—“

“and why don’t you want me to be with heeseung,” you interject, getting closer inch by inch to jake’s face as he stands his ground, giving you the same piercing eyes you challenge him with. “is it because…you think i’ll break his heart?”

you try to ask the question with just as much bite as your previous, hoping your insecurities don’t show through.

jake blanches, slightly taken aback by the directness of your question before he doubles down ten fold, pressing closer to you until your noses almost touch.

“yeah. maybe i do.” he grumbles to admit, breath puffing into your face.

you inhale to scoff, but then your chest brushes up against his, and suddenly you both remember that you’re only in a bra and cheer skirt.

jake glances down, eyes flitting over how your boobs press together when you have your arms angrily crossed, before meeting your gaze again.

the next thing you know, your lips are on his.

you don’t know who leaned in first, all you know is that he tastes like lemonade, tart but sweet enough to leave you wanting more.

his hands immediately go to your breasts, pushing you up against the lockers in his haste as the metal clangs and echos around the room, covering up your soft moan of shock.

your hands naturally move to rest at his stomach, where your surprised to feel the firm divots and raises of abs.

“do you-…do you workout?” you pant after parting from jake’s lips to take a breath. the boy doesn’t bother stopping, trailing his mouth from the corner of yours to down your neck, kissing and mouthing along your bra strap.

“can i take this off?” he asks, ignoring your question. you nod with a quiet little ‘yes’, jake reaching behind you to snap open your bra with one hand.

you try not to be too impressed (and fail), noting to yourself that the rumors must be true and this nerd does indeed fuck.

jake hastily guides your bra down your arms and tosses it to the side, latching his plush lips to your bud as his veiny hands continue to kneed at your breasts.

“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, fingers moving to run through his hair as you let your head lean back against the locker. jake lets out a breathy groan at the feeling of you on his tongue and how you’re unconsciously giving small tugs to the tufts of his hair.

you whimper and flinch at the ghost of jake’s teeth on your nipple, quite literally feeling the curve of his smile on your skin as he glances up at you, not bothering to detach from your tits as his eyes sparkle with mischief. you let out a sigh as you smirk down at him, giving a now conscious, firm pull to his hair and watching how jake’s eyes shut in the stinging pleasure, a throaty moan escaping him.

“you’re a jerk.”

jake kisses from the swell of your breast and down your stomach in response, as though apologizing. now on his knees, he pauses at the waistband of your skirt. your hands move to take it off before jake stops you, sliding his palms over the material and to your thighs, squeezing at the plushness of them as he moves his head downward.

butterfly kisses are now being pressed up your legs until jake’s face is fully under your skirt. you put a hand over your mouth as you feel jake slowly sliding your panties down, trying to contain a needy moan at his teasing.

“damn, you’re wet.” jake whispers, the breath of his voice tickling your skin and causing your legs to tremble.

“please?” you whine, but only barely, still trying to hold on to some of your dignity.

“please what, pom-poms?” jake asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone even while his face is hidden.

your eyes roll.

“oh my god, jake. please just shut the fuck up and eat me out!”

“can do.”

that’s all the warning jake gives before burying his face in your pussy, going at it like he’s starved.

you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out, not wanting jake to know just how good his mouth feels. (god knows his ego doesn’t need the boost.) you think you’re doing pretty good at keeping quiet, even when jake flicks your clit with his tongue, you only flinch slightly.

but jake takes notice of your silence, and it’s pissing him off.

so he runs a digit through the wetness of your pussy before pressing the entirety of it into your hole roughly, feeling how tightly your walls clench around him.

“f- fuck!” you startle.

it’s only one finger, but the length of it and the stretch his knuckles provide as he pumps them in and out of you mercilessly is making you come undone quicker than you would have thought.

jake’s making lots of slurping noises as his tongue licks at your leaking hole, nose nuzzling over your pulsing clit.

fuck, this man knows how to eat pussy. and when he presses a second finger inside of you, you know you’ve lost the quiet game. a whine comes from your throat as you squeeze your eyes shut, hips moving in small motions to meet the thrust of jake’s fingers.

he’s growling against you, eyes shut as he seems lost in the taste of you.

it isn’t until your head rolls to the side in pleasure that you notice he’s tugged his pants down just enough for his (to your shock, very big) cock to spring out, jerking himself off furiously as pre cum dribbles from the head.

“are you- fucking serious?” you laugh breathlessly, jake not stoping but opening his eyes to give you a confused glare.

“you’re getting off just from eating my pussy? how many of your hookups know you’re a munch?”

jake’s suddenly pulling his mouth off and fingers out of you with a cold look, but the hand on his cock never slows. if anything, it gets faster.

“if you’re gonna be a brat then i’m not making you cum.”

you’re thrown off, not expecting him to react this way, or how strangely embarrassed yet turned on it makes you feel. something about how angrily jake glares at you while he fists his big cock, even while he’s the one kneeling at your feet, it makes you feel oddly small.

and as much as it pains you to admit, desperate.

“i’m- i’m…sorry?”

jake lets out a humored scoff, shaking his head.

“you’re gonna have to do better than that. beg.”

you grit your teeth as you let out a frustrated sigh, unable to make eye contact as you force yourself to speak.

“please…make me cum.”

jake gives you an utterly unimpressed expression. “or i can just leave-“

“no! please, i- i’m sorry. i’ll be good, i wont be a brat anymore. just please make me cum?”

jake’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk that makes chills run down your spine, watching as his hand returns to his dick to rub over the leaking tip.

you unconsciously lick your lips and swallow.

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me?” he asks darkly.

“y- yes. i’ll be a good girl.”

jake’s diving back in with double the passion, his fingers slipping right back in as he curls them just right inside of you, hurling you towards climax.

“ah, j-jake, please! need- can i?” you pant, hardly able to get a word out as he’s sucking at your clit, giving it special attention.

he hums and you take it as a yes, thighs trembling as you cum all over jake’s chin.

“my turn.” jake growls, standing up and pushing you down to kneel in front of him, barely giving you any time to catch your breath before he’s shoving his dick in your mouth. still, you moan out happily, admittedly dying to have him in your mouth the moment you saw his pretty, pink tip and how big he is.

“that’s it, suck my cock like a good little slut.” jake orders, admiring how hot you look sitting on the floor in your short little cheer skirt. he grabs your hair in two fists, chuckling at how it looks like makeshift pigtails as he pulls on your hair to guide you further down his cock.

you sputter, struggling to take his bulbous tip down your throat but loving it and the stretch your jaw has to make to accommodate him.

he’s literally fucking your face, letting out little groans as he harshly snaps his hips against you.

once he looks down and sees your pretty eyes already looking up at him, it’s over.

jake deeply growls when he presses your face flat against his pelvis, cock shoved deeply down your throat as he pumps out his hot load, forcing you to swallow it all. (not that you wouldn’t have anyway.)

jake pulls you off of him with a wet pop, trying to it to ogle at how you lick his cum off your lips.

tucking himself back inside his pants, you look for your own clothes as jake finds a towel to wipe his hands and face off with, before tossing it in a nearby hamper.

“um,” jake starts, biting his lip as an awkward air takes over between you. “i am actually sorry, about…whatever i did that’s made you feel like i ruined it with heeseung for you.”

“it’s…it’s whatever. i’m sorry too, i kinda lost it.”

jake laughs softly, the sound breaking a little of the tension as he looks up to make direct eye contact. “i think we both did, but it’s okay. maybe we should just call it even?”

“sure,” you smile, combing your hair out of your face, trying to make it look like you didn’t just get eaten out and throat fucked in the locker room. (though you doubt anyone is around at this point, or at least you hope.)

“i’ll come around sometime to walk layla, just shoot me a text…and i really will answer this time.” you joke, jake taking the initiative to grab your cheer bag for you.

“sooo…do you still want me to be your tutor?”

“yeah! i do.” you answer simply, an annoying little voice in the back of your head saying that maybe chaeryeong was right, and you really did just need to fuck the frustration out of each other. even though there wasn’t actually any fucking…

“i still have something i’m wondering though,” you say as the two of you walk out of the locker room, jake letting you lead the way out of the stadium.

“what were you doing at basketball practice? on monday.”

“oh, well, normally heeseung comes with jay to our place and we game or something, after their practice. but i got off early and just decided to drop in.”

“where do you work?” you ask, looking over to jake and watching how he slightly swings your bag side to side as he walks.

“part time at the cafe, in the cafeteria…you haven’t seen me?” he asks jokingly, a faux pout on his lips.

“no.” you play along, answering ‘smugly’ as you lift your chin up, before giggling. “no, i usually have my lunch in the library.”

“oh, toooo…study?”

“i wish. if i spent that time studying i probably wouldn’t need a tutor,“ you admit with a bashful smile. “but usually i’m reading something.”

“oh! what do you like to read?”

“ah,” you whine, covering your face as you let out an embarrassed laugh. usually you’re undisturbed in the library, everyone else is typically there to study, have some alone time, or eat their lunch in a place that’s quiet. you’ve never had anyone ask you what you’re reading.

“it’s…embarrassing. i’m gonna sound boring.”

“what?” jake laughs, turning in front of you and walking backwards so he can fully look at you. “tell me, i’m dying to know now.”

“i mean, usually it’s about animal history-“

“right! biology major.” jake remembers.

“yup.” you nod. “buuut, sometimes i read biographies or like, theories.”

jake’s ears practically perk, but you don’t notice, pushing open a door before jake’s back can run into it.

“oh, thanks.” he says before returning to your side after the close call, deciding he’d rather not possibly fall right in front of you with your heavy cheer bag to land on top of him. “theories? what- what kind of theories?”

“right now i’m reading einstein’s.”

jake looks over to you with widened eyes, surprised because he’s never met anyone else that actually has an interest in stuff like that. he’s tried to rant to jay or heeseung about that kind of stuff, be he can tell they’re just replying on auto pilot, not really listening.

jake wonders how far you’ve read, what all you know. he’s practically tingling with excitement, about to ask you if you know about the team of scientists that disproved one of einstein’s theories when-

“well, i’m gonna get back to my dorm now,”you say just as you reach the campus sidewalk, street lamps lighting the path as dusk turns to darkness.

“i can walk you? it’s pretty late.” jake offers, already moving as though to go with you.

you feel your heart stop, a feeling you can only describe as ‘oh no’ burning a hole into the pit of your stomach.

“jake…earlier…it was just casual, yknow…”

jake stares at you, eyes round and capturing the lights in his dark pupils like stars in the sky. he stills, free hand going inside his pocket while the other still holds your bag.

“not that i’m assuming anything!” you hurry to add. “just thought i’d…clarify.”

“yeah…yeah, i know. i just- i just didn’t think it’d be a big deal to walk you home.”

“it’s not a big deal. that’s why i can do it myself.” you explain as nonchalantly as you can, but on the inside you feel like there’s needles pricking your skin, hairs all standing on end. you’re dying to be out of this situation, anxiety making you feel like prey, wanting to run, run, run.

“right! yeah, of course!”

you smile smoothly, leaning in to take your bag from his hand.

“i’ll see you at our next session, okay?”

“okay.” jake smiles softly, but you don’t look for too long, turning your back too soon, listening to the voice yelling in your head to leave.

you hear jake’s voice behind you as you walk down the paved path, his voice slightly carrying into the night.

“stay safe, pom-poms!”

you laugh, little and quiet to yourself as you whisper.

“jerk.”

(❤︎)

for the next week you’re busier than ever: tutor sessions, cheer practice, competition days, your usual studies and classes, taking layla on walks every now and then when jake is at work.

and yet, you’re thriving.

jake’s ‘hard work on you’— as he put it, is paying off.

you’re at your usual spot that you and jake have your sessions, his house.

the clock strikes 10 pm when you finally call it quits. layla (who’s been switching between sitting on your and jake’s feet from underneath the table) jumps up the second she hears the slam of your notebook and jake getting up to put away his study material.

“what is it, girl?” you laugh, watching the golden furred dog do an excited little wiggle dance in front of you.

she looks from you, to the front door, and back at you again.

“jake, i think she wants to go outside.”

uh-oh. you said her buzzword.

at the mention of ‘outside’, layla becomes twice as restless, whining and pawing at the front door with her claws.

“layla, no,” jake stops her, pulling her away from the door before she can scratch the wood.

“are you gonna take her?” you ask, jake turning his head to you as he continues to pat and scratch layla’s back, trying to sedate her.

“maybe just for a little bit, once you go home.”

“…i’ll go with you.” you offer, jake’s brows raising slightly in surprise.

“you don’t have to, y/n. i know we have a ‘deal’ but i don’t actually care if you-“

“i want to.” you shrug.

“you do?”

“yeah?”

“aren’t you tired?” jake asks, standing up and tilting his head at you.

you tilt yours back at him, a teasing smirk on your face. “i’m not. are you?”

jake takes one look at your smirk and falls into your trap, so easily persuaded by even the notion of a challenge. grabbing layla’s leash out of a nearby drawer in the kitchen, he hooks it onto layla’s collar and puts on his slides.

“lets go.” he smiles, you laughing at how his accent really pops out when he says the word ‘go’.

“what’s so funny?” he giggles with you despite not knowing why, watching as you hurriedly slip the shoes closest to you— which happen to be jake’s crocs that he never wears. they’re way too big, you putting them in ‘sport mode’ to try and combat the obvious size issue.

it doesn’t work. but despite that, they stay on.

“you look like a garden gnome,” jake laughs, letting you playfully slap him on the shoulder and watching how you bolt out the door a second later with a screech, like a kid playing tag.

“don’t run in them!! poms, you’re going to fall!” he yells, quickly grabbing a coat off the hook for you in case you get cold before he and layla hurry out the door and after you.

you walk around for about 15 minutes, eventually coming upon a gas station.

“…you hungry?”

you end up being the one to go inside the gas station while jake stays outside with layla, since dogs aren’t allowed in. he watches you closely the entire time though, staring at you while he stands right at the glass door entrance.

“i’m a big girl, you know.” you laugh once you walk back out, jake holding the door open for you. “im not gonna die if you’re not there to watch me.”

“i know, but gas stations at night just kinda freak me out.” jake whines, taking the plastic bag from your hands while you hold the two cups of hot ramen. you go and sit at a nearby bench that’s right beneath a window, the glow of the gas station’s light’s shining a light on the area around you.

“did you make it how i told you?” jake sing-songs as he ties layla’s leash to the bench’s leg, the dog taking the time to enjoy the break as she lays by his feet obediently.

“yes, i followed your obscenely specific instructions down to the very detail to make you the perfect ramen, jake.” you roll your eyes in faux annoyance, handing the cup of ramen to him, as well as a plastic fork.

“thank you.” he smiles coyly, taking the container from you.

“you’re welcome, princess.” you sigh jokingly.

you take a few bites of your ramen before speaking up again, as jake seems completely content to wordlessly munch on his food.

“so what are you and the boy’s gonna do this weekend?”

“mmm,” jake hums, swallowing before continuing. “i think we’re going over to felix’s.”

“oh.” you reply, picking up your drink to take a sip a second later.

even though it was chill when you last saw felix, you still feel a little awkward when his name comes up…or maybe it’s guilt you’re feeling.

“what’s up with that?” jake asks, looking at how your body language has changed to uncomfortable.

“what’s up with what?”

“…all of it, i guess.” jake specifies, and he sounds serious. like he really wants to know your history with felix.

you exhale and hope it doesn’t sound shaky, giving yourself a moment to take another bite of your food as you gather your thoughts. usually you might say ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘i don’t know’, but after hearing what jake said that first time you were over at your house…you want him to hear your side. even though your side doesn’t really excuse what you did.

“we…i liked him, freshman year. and he didn’t at first, but then he came around and eventually asked me out. and…he was honestly really great, he was a wonderful partner and i…really, really liked him.”

“so then…why? why’d you…”

“drop him?” you finish jake’s trailed of sentence for him.

he nods.

“i just…” you pause, looking down at your shoes and twisting the soles of them into the concrete. your heart wanes in realization that you’re about to talk about it. “sometimes i get really scared when- someone…cares about me? i don’t know. i don’t know how to describe it.”

“why does someone caring for you scare you?”

“i’m not sure. feeling…pressure? to be perfect, to keep them from leaving? or…scared of having someone that i care for so much, because…that means they could really hurt me.”

“when did that start?” jake asks softly, voice free of judgement, even pity— you think. just a gentle desire to understand.

“oh, i don’t know.” you laugh, though there’s no real humor behind it. you look down at layla and the way the light hits her fur, turning the tips a flaming gold. “parent stuff, friend stuff…i had a really shitty ex in high school.”

jake barks out a short laugh. “same, i think it’s a part of the teenage experience.”

“trauma builds character.” you say matter-of-factly, jake giggling as you can’t help but join him.

“i am sorry though, about what happened to you and that it’s made you feel this way. you didn’t deserve that.”

you bite your lip, staring at each other as your stomach twists from the soft timber of his voice and the gentleness of his words.

you look away.

“i know what i did to him was wrong. it doesn’t excuse it….”

“…no.” jake confirms. “but it does make sense. and it’s good that you know what the problem is now.”

“yeah,” you agree with a small smile, heart still heavy, but at the same time you do feel a bit better after talking about it.

“and i have gotten better. i still get scared, and sometimes i have unconscious bad habits, but i’ve gotten better at…telling my brain to shut up, when i realize.” you struggle to explain, but jake nods his head like he gets it.

your arms shiver slightly, from the cool night air or the adrenaline rush after voicing your feelings— you’re not sure.

jake unties the jacket from around his waist and lays it over your shoulders, but your goosebumps remain.

(❤︎)

as you walk into physics class you take a small glance at jake, offering a quick smile as you pass by him at his usual spot in front row before you go and sit down towards the middle.

there’s already someone sitting to your right, so you’re about to sit your bag on the left seat for chae (who’s apparently running late) when jake abruptly appears and takes the spot.

you’re staring at him with a confused ‘what the fuck’ face as he finishes opening his backpack and placing his things down, putting on his glasses so he can see the professor and their material from far away before turning to smile at you.

“hi,” he whispers.

you try to change your expression to a more casual one, seeing that he for some reason decided to change his usual seating arrangements to sit next to you, and that seems to be his only prerogative.

“hey…” you whisper back, turning to face the front after.

the professor begins the class, but you can’t focus. jake keeps trying to help you, leaning close to add on to what the professor is saying, then he notices the eraser on your pencil is almost gone and gives you a new one. but worst of all, when you tilt your head to write something down, hair cascading like a curtain over your face, jake gently moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, smiling sweetly at you when you glance at him.

you’re not confused anymore. you think you know exactly what’s going on and you’re…you don’t know what to do. everything suddenly feels like it’s spiraling into a mess and you desperately want to feel like you’re in control of it again.

so you cross your legs and lean in jake’s direction, taking it slow and simply brushing up against his pant leg.

jake’s eyes look down but quickly move back up to the front of the class, maybe assuming it’s on accident, though his expression does look slightly frazzled.

you want to mess him up more.

thankful for the table that’s about to cover your sins, you place your hand right above jake’s knee.

he fully acknowledges you now, snapping his head to give you a confused look, trying and failing to hide how flustered he is thanks to his blushing ears.

you tilt your head to indicate confusion, your ‘innocent’ act not fooling him at all as you creep your hand farther up his leg, to the meatier part of his thigh. the higher you go, the pinker his cheeks grow, looking more and more adorable.

you feel like a predator that’s caught her prey when you squeeze and his body jerks, hair falling into his eyes before he shakes it away and adjusts his glasses.

you feel like your pupils dilate at the action, watching jake sitting there and not even telling you to stop, letting you touch him in class where anyone could catch you. he’s dressed like the smart boy he is today, his polo shirt and kaki pants paired with oval framed glasses almost giving a nerdy virgin vibe. it makes you really wet, especially since you’re so close to his cock, which you never got to touch with your hands.

a bulge is starting to grow in his pants and you let your fingers barely graze over it as you start massaging his thigh.

“y-y/n?” he speaks so softly you would miss it if it weren’t for how close you sit together.

“hm?”

you glance up at him casually, like you’re fingers aren’t narrowly avoiding his cock right now, and it’s driving him crazy.

it’s making him desperate.

you’re in the middle of class and yet he’s dying for you to just touch his dick already.

he’s debating between if he should ask or not when you finally put your whole hand over his bulge. he stops a whine from bubbling up his throat as your touch is still feather light, not even giving him the grace of more pressure. pushing his hips up into your palm, you pull away, bringing your hands back into your lap and attention back on the professor.

“what? b- baby-“

“what, nerd?” you say with a little bite, and the name has jake twitching in his pants.

“pl- please? can you keep…touching me?”

“we’re in class, jake.” you say, pretending to be mildly annoyed, as if you weren’t the one who started all this.

a tiny noise escapes from jake’s throat, squeezing his eyes shut as he clenches his thighs, trying to relieve the pulsing of his own dick as blood rushes down south.

“jake!” you scold with a harsh whisper, genuinely surprised by how shameless he’s getting.

“please, y/n.” he struggles out, voice whiney. “i need you.”

your breath turns shakey, the facade of being unaffected crumbling as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on. granting him mercy, you bring your hand back down to fully grope his bulge, eyes growing wide as you’re reminded of how big he is.

“fuck.” you sigh, jake giving a twitchy thrust at your voice.

“dirty boy.” is all you say before facing the class again, really trying not to get caught now as your touches turn into you basically jacking him off over his pants.

jake humps into your hand as subtly as he can, almost missing how the professor’s asking him a question if it weren’t for how you pinch his thigh to break him out of it.

“w-what?” jake asks, sounding far from intelligent.

“i said, what is the speed of darkness, mr. sim.”

“oh- um,”

your hand goes right back to jacking him off, stopping at the tip of his dick to massage over it. jake swallows down a cry.

“i expected this to be easy, especially for you, mr. sim.”

“it- it has none.” he croaks out, voice almost raising in his efforts to avoid his building orgasm, the panic almost making him reach that point faster. “darkness is the absence of light, so it doesn’t h- have any speed.”

“correct! dark is simply the absence of photons which means-“

“i’m gonna cum.” jake says as quietly as possible, leaning back in his chair and pushing his face into the side of your arm, hiding his face. “y/n, m’gonna!”

you stop your hand and push him off of you, sitting up straighter as you whisper “after class”, leaving jake trembling in his chair, panting under his breath and too desperate to argue.

it feels like an eternity has passed when class ends, you getting up immediately and jake rushing to follow you. you lead him out into the hallway, hurrying up and opening a closet door before the crowds of other students fill the halls. jake practically moans when you grab him by the shirt and shove him inside, shutting the door behind you. it’s dark as you feel for the light switch, unable to find it.

“fuck, where’s the lights?”

you hear a click and the small closet is dimly illuminated, jake standing right in front of you with wide, shiny eyes, holding a string that’s connected to the one lightbulb that lights the space, which you now can see is a janitor’s closet.

“oh, thank you.” you say normally, like your panties aren’t soaking wet, before pushing him against the wall, almost knocking over a mop bucket as you intensely make out with jake.

the boy lets you swallow down his long moan of relief, needy hands grasping at your hips and already trying to rut against your leg.

“you really that desperate? can’t help but hump your big cock against me?”

jake whimpers, looking at you with big, pretty brown eyes as he wordlessly begs you.

“maybe you aren’t that smart of a nerd. can’t even talk? does your dick getting some attention make you that dumb?”

“yes! yes, yes, m’ so dumb. so stupid for you. please make me cum? it hurts, baby, please?”

“fuck me.” you order. “then you can cum.”

jake takes a second to process your words before he’s stripping himself bare.

“can- can you take off everything, please? wanna feel all of you.” he asks adorably, and you grant him his wish, albeit— you have to tease him. you peel off your clothes so slowly, jake watching every inch of your skin being revealed like he’s never seen a woman’s body before, hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch you.

“please, please, please.” he chants under his breath, almost to himself unconsciously.

“c’mere, jakey.” you coo, him hugging himself up to you a millisecond later.

he’s whimpering and slobbering into your neck as he attempts to give you kisses in his messy state of mind. you start to giggle until his cock catches at the entrance of your pussy and causes you to let out a whine, jake getting more excited (if it’s possible) after feeling how wet you are for him.

“y/n, please.” he blubbers, resting his forehead against yours.

“you can go inside, baby. fuck me, touch me. i don’t care anymore, just give me your cock.”

jake slowly pushes himself inside, the both of you moaning in relief before jake starts fucking into you slowly.

his face is sweating, glasses sliding down his nose bridge as he tries to give you time to adjust fully to his length. you’re so tight, looking so pretty while your eyes are squeezed shut, head leaning back against the wall as you’re stretched out around his dick. jake peppers little kisses all over the exposed expanse of your neck, you letting out happy little noises at his careful care and the feeling of him inside you.

“you okay, babygirl?”

“yeah, jakey. you can go deeper.”

slowly, jake pushes in as far as he can go, hips flush against yours. his cock is long, reaching places that haven’t been reached in a long time, but still…

“no,” you tremble, knowing it can be even better. “hold on.”

pushing his chest off of you a little to give more space, you lift your right leg and hook it around his shoulder, your other still firmly on the ground.

“okay, keep going.” you almost beg, desperate to be fucked into the wall.

“holy shit…” jake marvels, thrusting as deeply into you as he possibly can go, the new angle making his tip press into your cervix.

“oh my god!” he almost growls as his control slips from his grasp, hips gaining speed as he starts to pound into you. the rough quality of his previously sweet tone has you clenching, making him lose it even more. “you’re so fucking flexible.”

“m- m’a cheerleader.” is all you can manage to get out and explain when jake is fucking you so hard, making you feel so good. the slapping noises of jake’s thrusts and your wet pussy isn’t quiet, but you’re too cock drunk to worry about it, and jake is too lost in the way your needy cunt takes him so well.

“damn right, you are, baby.”

forcing your eyes to focus an jake’s intense gaze as he watches every one of your minute expressions, you see how his glasses rest lop sided on his face, releasing the grip you have on jake’s strong shoulders to fix them.

there’s a shift in jake’s eyes after you do this, and you’re beginning to feel as though he’s looking right through your skin and into your soul. then jake’s big hands wrap tightly around your back, stretching your leg further as you’re pressed flush against him and the wall. his rhythm turns erratic as your moans get louder, the hot air in the small space too thick for you to catch your breath.

“sweet girl, with an even sweeter little cunt, yeah?” he drawls, accent turning thicker as he licks into your mouth and presses sloppy kisses onto your lips in between words. “taking my cock like a champ, baby. taking me like a good girl.”

“please, jake. need to cum.” you cry weakly, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

“cum for me, sweetheart. make me all messy.”

you obey his words with a muffled cry as he cradles your head into his neck, trying to make sure no one hears your sounds of pleasure.

he tries his best to hold on long enough to fuck you through your high before he pulls out, fisting his own cock.

you don’t want to miss it, falling on your weak knees and opening your mouth to stick out your tongue, looking up at him and begging with your eyes for him to give it to you.

jake can’t even speak as his hands moves in a blur, the only cognitive thought in his mind how pretty you look kneeling for him, begging for his cum, before he’s unloading into your mouth.

you take it all, swallowing and leaning forward to suck on his tip like a lollipop after, licking him clean.

once jake is able to get himself together and your legs feel a little less like jello, who helps you stand and get dressed.

you laugh once you’re both fully clothed, watching jake clean his glasses lens with his shirt.

“what?” jake smiles tiredly, straightening his polo. “do i look normal?” and like we didn’t just fuck in the janitor’s closet?

“no,” you giggle, shaking your head as you reach up to comb through his very tousled hair. “okay, that’s better.”

“thank you.” jake smiles tenderly, making that funny feeling in your stomach present again before he presses a quick kiss to your lips. “i’ll text you, baby.”

“o-….okay…” you mumble, jake giggling as he thinks your dazed look is just because you’re still a little fucked dumb.

“you want me to slip out first?”

“um, yeah.” you answer, watching jake peek out the door before flashing you one more sweet smile before he’s out, shutting the door behind him.

you don’t know what you’re going to do.

(❤︎)

“dude, just ask her out already.” jay says as he lays down to spread out on jake’s bed like a star fish.

“i am!” jake insists, accepting that he’s probably not going to get anymore studying done when jay’s in his bedroom yapping away. shutting his laptop, jake swivels his desk chair around and quirks a brow at how jay lays on his bed like he owns it.

“then do it! what are you waiting for?”

“i just don’t want to overwhelm her, i think if i move too fast it’ll scare her. but…i think I’m gonna ask her tonight.”

jay sits up on his elbows. “you’re inviting her?” he asks, referring to the game night the boys were planning to have with heeseung at their place.

“yeah. i’ve already asked her, she says she can come after some cheer event she’s doing today.”

“wow…” jay sighs, now looking a little surprised as he processes.

“what?”

“i can’t believe you got a cheerleader girlfriend before me or heeseung.”

jake starts to be offended before he smirks, standing up from his chair and combing his hair out of his face.

“that’s because i’m sexy and smart. now take the L and help me clean up before she gets here.”

(❤︎)

it’s 8:00 pm when you finally get to jake and jay’s house, jake waiting for you by the door.

“hi, how was the event?”

“it was good. they had us outside all day but the weather wasn’t too warm.”

“good!” jake smiles as he opens the door for you and leads you to the living room. “ready to beat these guys in a game with me?”

“i really suck at video games, jake.” you laugh just as you walk into the room, seeing jay and heeseung sitting at the sofa.

jake sees heeseung’s eyes light up when he sees you, and jake feels a bit annoyed— then guilty. heeseung doesn’t know about you and jake, the australian not having time to tell him about your ‘thing’ before you showed up.

“hey, y/n! come sit.” jay invites.

you move to sit down on the couch, the only space available being next to heeseung. jake sits against your legs, his cuddly nature making you blush and feel a little self conscious while in front of everyone else, moving your legs to criss-cross them on the cushion instead.

something about being at their house with heeseung over again, in this room, makes you think about what you’ve been trying not to this entire time: what jake said.

do they all think you’re a player?

do they know about you and jake’s hookups?

if the answer is yes, then they probably also think you’re just with jake to get in his pants, to chew him up and spit him out.

but what do you really want?…and what…what does jake want?

you’ve felt off since the classroom incident, and you thought maybe hanging out casually would make you feel better, but it seems to only be making it worse.

“y/n?”

heeseung concerned voice snaps you out of your head and you look at him. he’s holding out a gaming controller for you, and you take it, the object feeling a bit big in your hands.

“here,” jake offers gently, turning around from his place on the floor as he positions your hands over the controller. “it’ll probably be easier for you to hold it like this.”

“thanks.” you say unconsciously soft, probably because of the proximity between you and jake’s faces.

he smiles that cute smile at you again, the one that makes his eyes sparkle, and you feel legitimately sick.

“do you want me to explain the game to you?” heeseung offers.

“i can,” jake starts to interrupt, but you stop him as you gesture for him to sit back down.

“it’s fine, jake. hee’s right here.”

you hope the excuse of heeseung sitting right next to you is a good enough excuse for why you don’t want jake coddling over you. you just…you can’t think clearly with him near right now.

once you start the multi player game and you go for a few rounds, heeseung starts getting kinda touchy with you. first letting his thighs touch yours, which is probably unconscious. the sofa is rather squishy and deep, it’s easy to sink into it— and thus, you. but then he starts smiling at you a lot and praising you whenever you do something right. you try not to encourage heeseung’s treatment while also ignoring how jake keeps turning to take peeks at you together.

very unexpectedly, you find a few advantage items and end up winning a round, heeseung throwing up his arms in excitement while jay loudly cheers.

“that was awesome, y/n!” heeseung says before wrapping you in an unexpected hug. you smile proudly at yourself, returning his quick hug.

“y/n and i will go get some drinks.” jake abruptly announces in a low tone before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from heeseung.

“jake. jake! why are you pulling me?” you say as he continues down the hall, not looking or speaking to you until you get to the kitchen.

“what was that?” he asks demandingly after spinning around to face you, eyes hard and looking at you angrily.

“what was what?”

“you and heeseung!”

“there is no me and heeseung, jake.” you sigh, rubbing your temples as you feel a headache coming on. this whole evening has honestly been nothing but stressful, and you’re starting to regret coming.

“well it sure looked like you were a thing…i thought we…”

he trails off and your heart full on stops, eyes wide as you stare at jake.

“you thought…what?” you ask, scared out of your mind.

“i like you.” jake says softly, looking up from the floor to gaze at you with hopeful eyes. “and i think…i think you like me too, right?”

you take a few deep breaths, brows furrowing as panic and fear take over the rational part of your brain.

“you sure you want to like the ‘typical dumb cheerleader’?” you air quote, jake’s face falling as your eyes already start to sting.

“oh my god, you heard that? baby, i’m so, so sorry. i-…i don’t think that now, i was being an asshole.”

despite how hard you try to keep them at bay, to blink them back, to keep the angry facade up— you can’t. your walls finally crumble down as you cry into your hands, letting the ache that’s been slowly growing in your heart over these past few weeks take over your whole chest.

“you- you don’t still think i’m a h- heartbr- break-“

you can’t even get a full sentence out between your crying and gasps of air, jake coming closer with open arms to wrap you in a hug, to squeeze you against his warm chest.

“no, no, no. sweet girl, oh my god.” he says almost like it’s to himself, before he’s culling your damp cheeks.

“c’mon, baby. look at me?” he coos sadly, and you do, putting aside your shame and lifting your face, watching his regretful eyes flit over your teary orbs and broken expression.

“i am so sorry that the harsh, untruthful words i said hurt you so badly, and i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to apologize. i was legitimately an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. i had you pinned down in my head of who i thought you were and i treated you differently because of it, when i didn’t even bother getting to know you. and i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

jake tries to wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks as you try to calm down, still hurt but feeling better after his words.

“you- you don’t think i’m a bad person? because- because i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.” you dare to ask.

“no!” jake states firmly. “no, baby. you’re not and i don’t think that. i think you’re kind and generous. hardworking and smart. beautiful and funny and so, so easy to fall for.”

“jake…” you whisper, cheeks burning as you attempt to hide you face in his chest. but jake doesn’t let you, cupping your jaw in his palms as he nuzzles his nose against yours.

“do you like me, poms?” he whispers nervously, breath fanning over your lips as you feel like you’re about to drown from the depth of emotions he manages to hold in his eyes.

“i…i do, jake. i really, really like you.”

jake smiles, teeth biting at his bottom lip to try and contain it.

“but,” you’re quick to say when jake starts to lean in, halting his actions. “i…i need time…to think. i…”

“it’s okay, y/n. you don’t have to explain it to me. i’ll wait for you.” jake whispers, staring forlornly at your lips, but not moving. “even if you tell me not to, i’d still wait for you.”

your heart skips a beat and you pull away, afraid you’ll lose your resolve and dive into his kiss if you don’t.

“okay. i’ll…i’ll see you, jake.”

“see you, y/n.” jake smiles, but despite trying his best, it doesn’t make it to his eyes. you walk out of the kitchen before fleeing from his house, speeding to your dorm and collapsing onto your bed and bursting into sobs.

(❤︎)

3 days.

3 days, going on four, since you’ve spoken to jake. you know he’s trying really hard not to overwhelm you, to resist coming over and talking to you, but you still catch staring at you in class when he thinks you don’t notice.

you do.

you notice him, always.

you want to go to him, you miss him so much. but it’s feels like there’s chains of fear wrapped around your heart, weighing you down and tugging you away from him.

you’re walking across campus in the afternoon to go back to your dorm, feeling like a zombie like you have been since you last spoke to jake.

you run into something with stops your lazy, slow steps, looking up to see felix staring wide at you.

“oh, y/n! hey!”

“h-hi! sorry, lix.” you apologize for running into him, trying to sound at least half as chipper as him.

“that’s alright. so, jay told me about you and jake,” he implores in a teasing way, nudging your arm with his elbow as he smiles. “how’s that going?”

it takes you a few seconds to feel the pain in your heart at simply hearing his name before you start crying, felix almost flinching back in surprise as you try to wipe your tears away as quickly as they come.

“i’m- i’m so sorry, felix. i’m a mess right now.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay, y/n. why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it.”

felix wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder and leads you to sit down at a nearby bench. taking a gentle hold of your hand, he encourages you to tell him what happened.

and you do, you tell him everything. from the very beginning to the very end.

“i just- i don’t know what to do, felix. i like him so much it scares me. i’ve never let- let somebody get this close to me this fast before.” you sniffle. “and i just- i can’t stop thinking about how much it would hurt this time, because- because i think if i let myself be with him, i’ll never want to leave.”

“oh, y/n.” felix sighs, pulling you in for a hug. “don’t you see? jake is an amazing guy, and you like him. which isn’t a reason to leave, it’s a reason to stay, to keep going and not give up. don’t you get it?”

he asks, looking you in the eyes as you feel his words click something into place in your brain. it isn’t a reason to leave, it’s why you should stay.

“don’t give him up, y/n.” felix urges softly. your heart squeezes with undeniable fondness, reaching forward to wrap the boy in a tight hug of your own.

“you’re right. thank you, felix.”

“it’s okay, y/n. go get your man.” he smiles genuinely.

“and felix?” you begin as you pull away to look him in the eyes.

“yeah?”

“i’m sorry, lixie.” you apologize, and he knows what for.

“i know, y/n.” felix’s voice wavers at the unexpected sentiment, but his sunshine disposition still remains. “i’m happy now. we’re okay. all is forgiven.”

you know it’s not a good enough apology despite his words, but you’ll find another time to properly say sorry, to give him the apology he deserves. but for now, you give him one more tight squeeze before running off to find jake.

he’s not working at the cafe today, all his classes are usually over by now and there’s no basketball practice for him to tag along to, so the only other place you can think to go look is his house.

when you messily park in the driveway and knock at the door, it’s a bewildered jay that answers.

“oh, y/n! he’s- jake’s walking layla right now.”

“do you know which direction he went?”

jay points and you take off down his neighborhood sidewalk, jay watching you disappear around a corner with his jaw slightly open in confusion, finger still raised, before he shrugs his shoulders and goes back inside with a mumbled little ‘whatever’ to himself.

your running turned to jogging, and now you’re sluggishly walking, your exhaustion and the sight of the sun setting making you lose hope as you stare down at your own feet that lazily step on the pavement.

what if jake doesn’t even want you anymore? did you already mess it up?

an echoed voice carries down the street and you lift your head, the tone of it sounding familiar. turning the corner one more time, your heart feels like it’s been brought back to life when you see jake and layla in the distance.

jake crouches in front of layla, the dog looking bored and tiredly panting as he raises his hand to scratch behind her ears, giving her a sad little smile.

“sorry, girl…i know. i miss her too.”

something tugs you forward, those heavy chains that were previously around your heart broken and unable to hold you back anymore.

“jake!” you call, jake looking up to your approaching figure.

“y/n?”

your slow steps turn to running when jake opens his arms, practically catching you with how you leap into his embrace.

“y/n?” he repeats, looking deep into your eyes like he can’t believe he’s feeling your smaller body in his arms right now, seeing you so up close again.

you wrap your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his, jake immediately kissing you back with just as much fever. your tongues lick into each other’s mouth like you haven’t tasted the other in ages, jake raising a hand to cup your cheek and press you impossible closer.

“jake,” you gasp in air after fighting to part from jake’s eager lips.

“sweetheart.” jake practically coos, eyes half-lidded and sounding love drunk as he spares you only a moment before he’s kissing you again.

“jake!” you pull away again, your attempt to sound scolding failing due to your little giggles that give your true emotions away. but how can you not when jake’s ticklish butterfly kisses are being peppered across your neck.

“let me talk!”

“hurry.” jake whines, pressing to more pecks to your lips.

“i- i wanna stay! i want to be with you.”

“i wanna be with you too, babygirl.” jake whispers fondly, staring into your eyes and how they capture the sunset’s shining rays. it’s the prettiest sunset he’s ever seen, viewing it in this way. “does this mean you’ll be mine?”

“i think i’ve been yours for a while already, jakey.”

jake’s like a kid at a candy store with your lips right in front of him. you’re unable to enjoy his absolutely gorgeous smile from your words for more than a second before his lips are attached to yours again, capturing you in another passionate kiss.

you whine into it, pushing at his chest much to jake’s displeasure.

“but i’m probably still gonna get scared sometimes.”

“i know, baby.”

a kiss.

“and- and i’m good at communicating but-“

another.

“sometimes i need encouragement.”

“i can do that, sweetheart.” he promises with another deep kiss. you push him away again.

“but, jake?”

he smiles with a defeated groan, leaning his head onto your shoulder before he looks at you.

“yeah, sweetie?”

“what if i…did try? to run away again.” you ask, not because you think you will, but because you want to know his answer.

he answers easily, like it’s a no brainer for him.

“then i’d chase after you every time.”

“…promise?”

“i promise.”

(❤︎)

jake doesn’t even take layla’s leash off when you bust through the front door, barely taking the time to shut it behind him before he’s picking you up, giggling at your adorable squeal and how your legs wrap around his waist without thinking.

you don’t even stop kissing as he blindly carries and maneuvers you around the house, feeling for his bedroom door knob with his one hand and opening it successfully.

he walks forward until he feels the frame of his bed against his shins and sets you down gently, finally detaching from your lips to gaze at you and how gorgeous you look laying in his bed, staring up at him with so much cb affection in your eyes that it has his cock twitching.

“what?” you smile, feeling a little squirmy under his gaze, but you remain still.

“nothing…you’re just so beautiful.”

your cheeks burn, biting at your smile as you move to take off your clothes. jake rushes to do the same, though it takes him a little longer as he has to stop every few moments to watch you strip.

you rub your thighs together with a moan as you see jake’s throbbing length, it’s pretty pink tip shining with his excitement.

“oh my god, baby. i don’t wanna go a day without you ever again. seeing you, talking to you, kissing you, fucking you. shit, m’gonna make you take my cock every day from now on.”

“please, jake, just put it in.” you whine, spreading open your legs and causing jake’s eyes to almost pop out of his skull.

“damn, baby.” he marvels, kneeling up on the bed as he comes closer to you, caressing his hands up and down your thighs as he stares at your pussy.

“jaaake, fuck me!”

“be patient, babygirl.” he warns with a small yet stinging slap to your thigh. “i will. but i gotta taste you first.”

he makes a spot for himself between your legs, laying on his belly before spreading open your pussy with his two, long fingers. clear slick webs between, jake shuddering out a heated ‘fuck’ before going in to lick it up with his tongue.

“oh god,” you whimper, raising your hands to your face, embarrassed by how wet you already are and how jake’s slurping every bit of it into his mouth.

“mmm,” jake hums disapprovingly, departing from your pussy only for a moment. “dont don’t do that. wanna watch my baby’s face while i eat her out.”

then jake goes back down to slowly push his tongue inside your entrance, your thighs twitching with the unexpected intrusion.

“j-jake!” you cry as he falls into a rhythm, rubbing your sopping clit while he fucks you with his tongue, big brown eyes staring you down as you find yourself unable to look away.

“o- oh, ffuck!”

your hands grip up the sheets into a fist, toes curling as jake’s incessant licking into your cunt and the perfect little circles he rubs into your clit makes you come more and more undone.

jake groans in pleasure at your own, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core and causing your entire body to flinch as you cry out.

“i- i think m’gonna cum already if you don’t stop, jake.” you whine, voice high pitched and unlike yourself.

the boy doesn’t stop. in fact, he goes deeper, curling the tip of his tongue into the spongy part of you.

you cum with a cry, legs trembling and squeezing around jake’s head as he happily cleans you up with his mouth.

“mmm, such a messy cunt, baby. taste so good.” jake sighs as he repositions to hover over you body, one hand stroking over his dick as he spreads your left over juices from his fingers across it.

he reaches across to his night stand, you presume to get out a condom.

“don’t. want- want you to fuck me raw, please? m’on the pill.”

“…holy shit.” jake murmurs, wide eyed.

he leans on his elbows, dipping closer to your face as you watch how his eyes roam over your every feature, taking in your beauty in the same way as you’re taking in his right now.

“my pretty girl, my good girl...” he gives you that smile that used to make you sick, but now it has butterflies in your stomach and your pussy clenching.

“mine.” jake whispers proudly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pushes inside of you slowly.

“how-“ you struggle, interrupted by your and jake’s moans as his dick is sucked in by your greedy cunt. “how do you talk so sweet when- when you’re doing bad things?”

jake just responds with an out of breath chuckle, bracing himself with a hand to your hip, groping and squeezing at your soft flesh.

as he starts thrusting into you, deep and slow, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of you.

you don’t know why, maybe it’s the angle or how he’s looking at you, maybe it’s because you just came or the emotional high of being reunited. all you know is that it only takes a few minutes for you to be trembling and whimpering into jake’s sheets as he fucks you dumb.

jake’s latched onto your tits— of course, moaning and whining as he slobbers all over your chest like your nipples taste like candy. and they might as well be, because to jake they’re that good.

“mmm, jakey, please. please. m’so close.”

jake is no better off than you, sweat glistening on his skin and his hips start to erratically buck into yours, his pants and your whimpers filling his bedroom.

“yeah, baby? my cock make you feel good?”

“y- yes!”

“y’gonna let me have this cunt every day, sweetheart? take my cum every day?”

“yes, baby, yes!” you either against the sheets, twisting your head to the side from the overwhelming pleasure as you try to hold back your oncoming orgasm, waiting for his permission. “gotta cum, jakey.”

“no, no, sweetie. gotta look at me first, babygirl.” he gently orders in a way that makes your stomach flip, holding your chin between his thumb and fingers before turning your head back to look at him. he brushes your hair out of your face, greeted with your glossy eyes and pouty lips, begging for him to have mercy.

“there she is. there’s my little girl.” he trembles out, biting his bottom lip and forcing his eyes to stay open and look at you, even as the pleasure gets too much. “look so cute while you’re falling apart on my cock.”

“pl-please…jake! need- need’ta-“

“let go, sweetheart. cum with me, baby.”

jake seals your lips with a kiss to suppress the cry you let out as you reach your highs together, trembling bodies holding out for as long as you can to ride out your orgasm.

jake collapses on the bed and cuddles you into his chest, hands brushing through your hair and making sure none of it is in your face.

jake’s phone dings with a text, and he leans over to pick it up. you watch his pretty, brown eyes as he reads the screen, before his lips quirk up in a smirk.

“what?” you ask.

“jay…he‘a asking if we’re done fucking yet.”

“oh my god!” you whine with embarrassment, burying your face into jake’s chest even further as he giggles.

“it’s okay. he said he figured he should put on some noise canceling headphones and make himself scarce when you came by looking for me.”

“still embarrassing…” you mumble, jake cupping your face to lift your head up and press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips.

“m’so glad you found me.” he confesses softly. you smile.

“i think we found each other.”

“mmm,” jake hums, resting his forehead against yours, looking at you like he can’t get enough of you. you’re sure you look the same.

“never gonna be able to go without my dumb little cheerleader girlfriend again.” he smiles teasingly, referencing to his previous harsh words he said about you.

it’s so funny how things can change when you really get to know someone. when you give them a chance.

“and i’m never gonna be able to go without my nerdy little boyfriend again.”

“hey,” he laughs, no real feelings other than happiness behind it. jake sits up on his elbows, caging you in to press a sweet, long kiss to your lips.

he pulls away just enough to be able to look into your eyes as he whispers.

“that was mean, pom-poms.”

you huff, shaking your head with a smile as your hands move to run through his hair, pulling him in for probably the hundredth and definitely not last kiss of the night.

“jerk.”

note) wow, you made it through! i really hope you enjoyed reading my baby 😭

i tried to make reader a lovable character with layers that some might find relatable/comforting, and that she didn’t seem like a pick me. so i hope that came across. the subject of being afraid of emotional intimacy while at the same time desperately wanting it is something that i struggle with myself. also the anxiety of letting someone see you wholly for who you are, and them still loving you. it’s horrific and scary but beautiful if you only let yourself be vulnerable enough.

the reason i ended it with reader still having anxieties and even saying ‘what if i try to run away again’. is because it’s not happily ever after once you’ve found your person, and reader’s problems aren’t going to magically go away because she ‘got the guy’. she’ll keep learning and growing and making mistakes. but the difference is she has someone in her corner who will be with her through it. hence jake saying ‘then i’ll chase after you’.

at some points i thought the dialogue might seem cheesy, but this is based in the way that i/my friends talk and conversations that i’ve had. so…take that how you want. maybe me and my circle is cheesy lol.

pleaaassseee leave a review/ask/comment- whatever. as i said this is my baby and im curious to see whatever you have to say about this work, what it made you feel or think about, and also answer any questions!! i have these characters pretty fleshed out so i’d like to think i have the answers lol.

thank you again for reading!! — jaz

[chameleon-on-lsd]

Tatort Zürich E3 - E7 liveblogging

Episode 3 (Schattenkinder)

Love how tessa rides the bike to the crime scene and then doesn‘t get to ride with the car. They could‘ve loaded it, p sure that isabella has a prett normal car and not a police cruiser with equipment in the back, right? Noah ily so much. ‚Uf sim pc hets paar cooli games […]‘ ‚völlig kränk‘ !!!!!! Baby boy, ily Tessa‘s eyebrows are very intense this episode „Noah, es ist spät, hast du kein zuhause?“ xDD „äh doch“ Lmao what kind of reaction is ‚luegsch pornos?‘ from charlie to tessa not reacting right away to a question xd Lol isabelle. But also i love her eating his food in the kitchen. And I forgot his name again „Putain, tessa“ lmao What parking structure is that?? Never seen it before The art dude is wearing a very jazzy sweater. Almost Baby Genius like I love how isabelle‘s red-brown holster matches her red turtleneck sweater Yes, let‘s go party with the suspect Lmao tessa, that was the MOST obvious ‚talking into lapel mic‘ ever. Girlie, don‘t go undercover Aww love how Milan is being a server. What does your catering job include lmao AND THEN TESSA LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN WHILE SNEAKING AWAY. Get that woman some training Lmao tessa. 1A ablenkig. How to distract pretentious art wanker? The Arts!!! Just sing a little ditty (She‘s good tho) Also, another woman flirting with grandjean/ott lmao Holy fuck the tension ???!!!!! They actually almost kiss?? ‚Bini der z schnell?‘ fjalshdlal I FORGOT THAT ISABELLA HAS TO LISTEN TO THAT!!!!! W O W Lmao she just insta-installed something? I like the editing of all the different voice-overs in this one Whew max‘s actor Lmao smoking indoors? I guess the police is altmodisch but come on guys SHARING THE CIGARETTE!!!! (Almost sad that hörk don‘t get to share) !!! I figured out like half a second before the reveal that kyomi is the daughter lol Cries, the dad just looks so happy. No old man, don‘t make me cry, you‘re supposed to be a monster Damn bitch, that matte blue/purple car tho. Holy shit. (Also we do just keep with the suicide plots for zurich tatort huh. Are we this depressed??) Awww, cute tess and isabella moment

Episode 4 (Risiken mit Nebenwirkungen)

Lmao the lawyer with the super sassy ‚unzueläässssig‘ Will we finally get an episode without suicide mention? You live on a boat? What are we? Amsterdam? I already don‘t remember the 3rd title caard Isabelle walks onto the boat, instantly touching 3 surfaces lmao. Cool that she got offered gloves like 5 seconds later tho lol „Also = game over“, gamer boy noah lives on Lmao the boss of the lawyers: ‚chani ihne öppis ahbiete? Gin? Single malt?‘ Guess that‘s one way to do business Lmao just quoting law articles to eachother God, i‘m pretty sure they said it before but the sentence ‚folge dem geld oder dem sperma‘ made me half-choke so loud my cat woke up „der sah aus wie ein jammerlappen“ lmao get roasted hot lawyer (Praise kink!noah unlocked. Too bad I don‘t know who to ship him with and I hate reader insert) God that pharma conference is SO wanky We really just don‘t do subtitles huh? (It was a very easy english phone call but like) Uuuuh, does hit lawyer have a conscience? The pharma lady reminds me of that phony pharma lady. Theranos??Mhhh electro porsche Lmao noah losing his shit at his own doing …why is isabelle riding in the ambulance when the attack happend in front of the house? Where the stay at home mom is??? „Sie weiss bscheid“ and she doesn‘t care???! Aw charlie Still don‘t understand how it took the mom so long to get to the hospital NOAH XDDD (Also how did I not see a field day of posts about ‚tessa ott, du bist so hot‘ ??!) Also their reaction??? Also noah, truly a man of the people, writing fanfic on company time and using company equipment !!!!! Isabelle offering to drive tessa! (Under the guise of her not having a light, shush. Also tessa calling her ‚mami‘ lmao) Also the fucking fact that tessa keeps insisting on driving without a helmet!!! Christ „Du bisch en fucking nobody“ lol DAMN professor doesn‘t fuck around Awww the srf radio show Prime tower has fucking glass security gates inside?? What is actually housed in there?! Noah… that is your best work? I guess if you squint hard enough Jesus christ, everyone be killing xD Help the cringe is cringing ;-; xD

Episode 5 (Seilschaft)What the fuck is this english speech? Why do I feel like I know that actor‘s face? Tessa is not a great friend lmao What. The. Fuuuuuck Lmao isabelle again with the ‚you live here?!‘ inquiries (‚hat ihr tesla kein strom mehr?‘ to ms staatsahwältin) Lmao and the next lady to flirt with grandjean What the fuck was that greeting between fedpol guy and staatsahwältin? The french just for shits and giggles xD they literally didn‘t need to do that Have we ever seen inside grandjean‘s home? Wow. That is fucking horrifying. Thanks for showing it with such a banger of background music Aww isabelle's götti Slowly piercing together the ‚tessa was abused‘ backstory I see ‚Hast du hunger?‘ ‚ich will zu dir‘ different kind of hunger lmao ‚Jemand den du gut kennst‘ Aww bless charlie Christ tessa You‘re such a bitch lmao Of course charlie relapses in this environment Also love how boxing clubs are rife cop show material Noah my scruffy beloved Aaaa and he doesn‘t wanna say something wrong around tessa Poor baby boy. ‚Das staht doch da! ;-;‘ Kerim bby Noah‘s hair is SO good That‘s a fucking huuuuge schrebergarte …which protokoll?? Tessa looks so unkempt this episode lmao Poor bbies Aww she apologized Lmao that girl is wearing double denim as in ‚two denim jackets‘. Why ‚Huere komisch‘ Man that girl loves denim Hello hot police officer Lmao ‚watch.ch/watch‘ Is it.. child SA ? Again?? ‚Schnapped sie ihn und packed sie ihn ade eier!‘ xd Mov.ch/watch Slightly better, still odd Also, casually browsing child SA material in an open plan office? Weird, tessa Whew boy that was a lot ….are we heading into another suicide? I still don‘t know where tf I know his face from Oh hey, another rooftop scene W E L P another one bites the dust (on her own terms) Also lmao the fucking death pose. What was that comic meme? Family guy? Fidjsjskd The Hug. Finally Aaaaa söft Akdkfhdhsksjd De fucking blickwechsel vo grandjean und ott, ih dem softe liecht. The sapphic of it all

Episode 6 (Blinder Fleck)

Warum fahred ihr en vogel gassi? Achso, tierarzt Gross fucking moustache btw A kid case. For grandjean. Whooooo boy Good hair from botj ladies currently …..she would be sitting in her mom‘s piss…. Death is not pretty Oooo. Biker is also dead Bitch loves the forest. And his drone. And birds Lmao ‚ghat‘s?‘ at tessa dying after walking up the stairs How are you holding the child? Oh she is holding you Cries …oh the forstarbeiter didn‘t find the biker duse, they were talking about the others Aaaaand bird!guy knows bike!guy Isabelle, what the fuck was that sentence? Good look, noah (i do miss his ugly ties a bit) Lmaaooooo the fucking american deutsch with the weird r‘s xDD Lmao that fucking bird is just going on a weltreise Oh they were trying to bring it back to the kid, makes sense. And she‘s like?? This biih?! Aww milan Also, to be serenaded by two loving people? IMAGINE Aw isabelle. You‘re trying to use milan. Shame on you Also fully don‘t understand his backstory. Zeugenschutz?? Lol tessa playing peekaboo with the bird Wow… both those extras are doing…rough acting jobs Aaaaa noah outside! xD He left his IT den I don‘t like the banker lady Noah bby, y u so pretty Lmao lars. Way go be fucking creepy. And in danger Awww noah calling bird!guy DAMN. What a fucking outfit from bird guy ….you wanna tell me that tessa follows the traffic laws to a T? Absolutely not Mhhh microwave sketti and fake fanta xD And insta-triggered herself Frau staatsahwältin is so confounded by kids lmao Same tho What do you mean ‚er het nöd chöne cho‘?? He left after seeing the kid (which i kinda expected) but wut Lmao bird!guy keeping on flirting with tessa Seeleverwandt with birds. My guy, you‘re fucked …weird bank things are happening ‚Du kennsch mi sit 2 johr‘….. fully expected a longer time. 2 yrs is… nothing God those actors both look like leather couches …why we gotta see them make out Lmao bird!guy Interesting acting choices from both luca and ada. And with interesting I mean cringe Nice use of ‚police data bases take 2 seconds to find results‘ Awww milan baby boy. His love language is def food He calls her IsabellA right?? Guess that‘s why I was confused at some point with her name And you walked right into that one isabelle Ooooooh. Combat drone?? Amazing Lmao love the drone shots that are super unrealistic. You‘d hear that fucker, you can‘t stalk someone Background person with purple hair! (At least it looked so in the 0.5 they were on screen xD) They use ‚clear‘ as signal for cleaning rooms? Interesting Ada‘s garden is very nice But lol lars and ada are both weird JESUS!!!!!!!! A fucking axt to the head??? That was so graphic holy shit xD That kid has such a creppy stare lmao Damn luca, you‘re going on a rampage Damn mr jail man, you look good Bit of a weird beard but still hot ….the fact that tessa is allowed to go to a person of interest alone is so wild… like she's ready to engage and doesn‘t have a partner with her?? No buddy system??! How would any of this hold up in court? Do we not require that? Kill drone engage! Schön am walche kino verbi xD Aww and the landesmusuem ..how is noah supposed to find it exactly? You go grandma Is luca gonna shoot himself….. Or jump…. Come ON guys Can we have more episodes without suicides/attempts? This is depressing I guess that‘s what we get for tessa‘s failed attempt? Spatort gets spaten flashbacks, zurich gets suicides He‘s gonna juuuuuump Oh wow he didn‘t Aww that was a fun transition of the normal camera going up to the drone overlay

Episode 7 (Von Affen und Menschen) re-watch so skipping through it

Lmao staatsahwältin is such a flirt The sunglasses <3 Severin!!! (Zoo director) He always reminds me of elijah kamski Lmao for an ‚ebenso‘ und ‚sorry ich muss los‘ Nooooaaah, very cute in that hoodie and your fuckass headphones xD ‚Isch öpper hässig gsi‘ xD (about someone shooting 6 times) But god all the non-main actors are SO cringe in this one Staatsahwältin doing her little jig lmao I wanna hug noah$ ‚Warum düüted alles uf sini frau hi, noah? Oh ja merssi für d frag‘ bby boy, they don‘t appreciate you xD ahskkskaja The little moment of tessa tossing the wet paper towel at noah and the little ‚swish‘ sound edit and his smirk ????? I don‘t understand why isabelle and milan don‘t kiss more. They did so before. Why are they back to being coy? ‚Erpressig? Lösegeld? En banane? Um was ghats?‘ noah‘s face xD Lmao and so joyful to share gruesome details about the nail gun kill Zoom and enhance that doesn‘t work! The insta-toss of the phone is so funny THIS ONE ALSO INCLUDES A (staged) SUICIDE!!!! What the fuck is it with zurich So I think only 1 episode has none? Tessa‘s ‚lieber nöd :)‘ to the other police xD Lmao and severin‘s second scene is him hitting a glass and then standing there DaMN that‘s a neat white beard and moustache at the back Everyone hates their putzpersonal lmao That is the second one that gets their work interrupted I like the yellow and green theme of the outfits this episode for noah and tessa ‚noah, c‘est simplement genial‘ ‚ou, je sais :))‘ bless Lmao isabelle being a trash racoon Staatsahwältin‘s outfit is very strange.. Stripey top and tie thing, very wide belt, checked skirt Hello hot undercover cop(s) Yeah tessa, you done goofed. Bad friend award goes to you

Also I feel like we got over it way too fast that tessa was fucking fingerbanged at a club

[escaleraautomatica]

Sunset Valley Full Renovation: Day 2 (I HATE ARLO BUNCH)

I think today was my most productive day EVER. I'm really pleased with how everything turned out. I think in some cases I was a bit lazy because I didn't mod almost anything from some sims. But I think it was because they looked OK with or without me intervening

I woke up and started working with the Wan-Goddard household. I've done already some mods to Pauline in the past, so it was as easy as replacing her with herself but modded. Hank was another story. I have almost no male hairstyles, but I spent 30 MINUTES choosing this man's haircut. It was so hard for me. I kept their hair, eye and skin color, except for Pauline, to whom I gave a more pinkish-looking skin.I did not have a full photo of Pauline, so there's side-by-side comparison to her old self.

I was ready with both of them so I started with the Hart family. As a kid they were so fun since both Bebe's parents are INSANE, so I would go to the park and the those two dubasses fighting with themselves. I almost did nothing to Dorie or Gus, I just made sure Dorie looked even more insane than before. Bebe was my main victim. I think she looks like a queen.

I had some fun with their house, specially their cars. I painted them as crazily as their room lol and I gave Bebe a bike so that she wouldn't be DRIVING TO SCHOOL IN CAB EVERY DAY

My journey was followed by the last rich-hilled (I just invented a new word) family, the Altos. I was kinda getting that short man energy from Nick. So I made him tiny. Nah just small. I gave Vita a fresh batch of clothes. She's supposed to be that new-money brat. And I left the household ready, with all members done. Holly looks normal, I just changed like 3 things.

Next on my list was the Langerak family. They were easy to do as I already modified Zelda and Iliana before. I just had to adjust them as I wanted them to look in this save. My main sim here was Kaylyn. I wanted to fix those continuity problems between TS2 and this game. In TS2, she has green-colored eyes, so I changed her eye color and his father's, Dustin, so it would make sense her eyes were that color. I did not change her hair color (in TS2 her coded natural color is blonde, but it shows black as if she colored it). You can read in Parker's description that he's kind of womanizer at school, or at least is attractive, but he looks and dresses like SH1T. I tried to give him a singular look that would make him stand out (long hair and a lip piercing, also a car and a driving license). The rest of them look very similar, with some adjustments made. Probably the most fun family of all.

My last but not less important family was the Bunch family. Believe me when I tell you I SUFFERED with basically all the sims here. THEY WERE SO UGLY 😭😭 Of course, I tried my best, but there's always room for improvement. I gave Judy a haircut that screams go*od mom, but not cool, *if that makes sense... Jack is UGLY, like bat-shit ugly. I literally could not do shit. He's the main reason this whole household is messed up. Darlene wasn't that bad. She looks better now, ofc. Ethan is looking cute as always. Lisa was another story. I changed barely nothing in her face structure, but I changed one of her traits. I said goodbye to her Kleptomaniac trait because I just don't like it, and gave her the Rebellious trait from Generations. It makes much more sense since her bio says she's more like a rebel, NOT A THIEF. Arlo... Arlo... Arlo... I'm gonna have a few nightmares this week istg. I tried my best and he still looks ugly, but not as ugly as before. I'll revisit when I recover mentally from this experience.

I was done with all the families I wanted to cover today, so I , before closing my age, renovated a house for an old family in my other save. It was the house that's in front of the Single Mom's Household. I just realized I forgot to paint one wall...

And that's all for today! Lesson learned: it is possible to hate a kid (a.k.a. ARLO FRIKING BUNCH). I'll upload more soon!

My stuff (I have a bunch more):

Hair DF: FirefoxSims and Mary Jane defaults (Also a few IfcaSims DF)

Makeup DF: SLU Sims 3 defaults (I couldn't find the link?)

Eyes DF: BurtnWaffles Big Q Eyes 24 Default replacements.

Skin DF: Pixelswirl Orchard Default Skins.

LazyDuchess SmoothPatch 2.1

NRaas NoCD, NRaas Once Read, NRaas Register, NRaas Saver, NRaas Sleep Freedom, NRaas Story Progression, NRaas Tagger, NRaas Writen Word, NRaas Woohooer, NRaas Master Controller, NRaas Master Controller Cheats, NRaas Careers, NRaas Debug Enabler.

[cappuccinco]

Cw: eating disorder (kinda?)

(Sorry if this post makes no sense my english sucks lol)

So i've had bad eating habbits on and off for most of my life (idk if i'd call it an ed but like i'd obssess over calories, starve myself, try to throw up, etc.) But i haven't done that in quite a while now (except for a few minor slip ups). And for the most part i haven't been thinking about it all the time like i used to. And I really thought i was done with all that.

But recently i changed adhd meds and one of the side effects of the new meds is that it makes me less hungry and have less of an appetite. And now i can't stop thinking about it. There was a day a couple weeks ago when i genuinely forgot to eat for the whole day and the moment i realised that it felt so... familiar. And strangely comforting. Like an old friend. I didn't realise i'd missed that feeling so much. And all of a sudden i'm spiralling back again. I've barely been eating except for when my mom makes lunch (which hasn't been happening a lot recently cause she's busy (and my dad doesn't cook because patriarchy lol)). I didn't eat much yesterday (and i think maybe a few days before that? I'm not sure) and i haven't eaten today (it's afternoon as i'm writing this). And i feel so light and my stomach feels empty and my body feels weak, which isn't supposed to be a good thing but it feels like it. When i came back home today i just had to stop at the store and buy a bunch of 0cal energy drinks because for some reason it feels really good drinking them on an empty stomache, and they also make it easier for me not to eat. I tell myself that i'm not doing it on purpose, that i genuinely just forget to eat. But come on, we know that's not true. It's on my mind all the time, i'm very aware that i'm not eating enough. It's not like i have a problem eating, i just feel less hungry. And i could force myself to eat a normal amount if i really wanted to.

I don't look at my body very often and i still don't (honetly i'm terrified to) but recently i've been constantly staring at my wrists, seeing how much smaller they got, how my bones stick out more.

And i don't even think it's really about losing weight this time, i've (for the most part) pretty much accepted my chubbier body. it's the sense of familiarity. I was addicted to that empy feeling for such a large amount of my life and it's just so comforting to feel that way again. It feels like coming back home. And seeing my body change, even though i didn't really mind the way it looked before, feels like an accomplishment, seeing the physical effect of what i'm doing.

I don't have a conclusion for this or anything, i just wanted to get the words out and share these thoughts with someone. And i can't talk about it to anyone irl without them worrying and trying to stop me so yeah;-;

I could say a lot more but honestly i'm tired of writing and i wanna go play the sims lol. (unrelated but the meds also kinda made me obssess over the sims?? Like I've been hyperfocusing on it almost every day since i started taking them. Anyway i'm not complaining, at least i get some dopamine for once lol. And it's not like i have anything better to do;-; )