#almost EVERY piece of magic we see is brought back again in another form later on and i LOVE how much it shows

[queenangst]

one of the things i love about wha is how clearly the magic and ideas the girls learn and have build on top of each other over time. the continuing theme of magic as solutions, and your own spells can be made by adapting what you know into something new.

in one of her first uses of magic, coco uses fabric to sail through the air at the dagda mountains; she later creates the mantle of flight. the air twisting seal she learns to use to pick fruit becomes part of a spell to create rain underneath the sea. agott uses a bird of light to distract people at the river; later, we learn her love for the decorative seals, and her knowledge comes in use to bring people joy, and to help with the curtain leech. every person has their own magic, and everyone's magic connects together to create new things.

no magic is useless; no magic is too small or too basic. no magic is unloved.

[rwprincess]

Head Over Feet (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.8k

Synopsis: What’s that sound? It’s another anachronistic Brian Johnson songfic! (Based on Alanis Morissette’s Head Over Feet) You’re one of Bender’s trash-punk friends and things change drastically when he brings the scrawny brain from detention with him to meet you all. Set up in snippets, your relationship develops with Brian, even if you weren’t really looking for a relationship.

CW: Teenage smoking (including reader), swearing, parental abuse (being being kicked out), sexism, angst and fluff

“This is Johnson,” Bender indicated the boy he brought along to your group’s spot under the bleachers.

“Brian, please.” The kid corrected. You eyed the gangly youth from top to bottom; in his sweater over a crisply-ironed collared shirt and khakis, he definitely didn’t fit in here with you all. You’d be called grungy punks at best. You didn’t think any of you even owned an iron and crisp definitely wasn’t your style. You blew out a puff of smoke, exhaling the nicotine from your lungs and shifted your gaze to Bender, wondering what he was at with this. He wasn’t the best guy, but pranking this preppy little nerd by bringing him down to your hangout? That seemed beneath him.

“You, uh, running some kinda charity here, Bender? We’re not exactly Make-A-Wish material, kid.” Scorch told the blonde dweeb and you snorted at the thought.

“Shut the fuck up,” was all Bender said in response. The rest of the twenty minutes of Brian Johnson standing there was of course, incredibly awkward and it was clear to everyone that he didn’t fit in. But that didn’t stop him from coming back a week later. And again a few days after that. And again and again until, well, that dork had grown on the lot of you. While he didn’t partake in cigarette smoking like most of you, he did take Bender up on his weed on several occasions and was actually really funny while high. He did weirdly spot-on impressions and had a sense of humor that none of your group had anticipated.

And, as much as you would vehemently deny it, you liked him when he was sober, too. He was incredibly smart and helpful and while his jokes were different without marijuana in his system, he could be amusing. That first awkward encounter was back in March, maybe April. But now you spent time with him without the convenience of school pulling you together. Now it was June and you sought to spend time with him, even without the group. Tonight, you were laying in a field not far from the high school, just the two of you. You liked to listen to him ramble on about the constellations and the myths about why they were named as they were. You remembered liking that as a kid, but you didn’t remember most of the stories. You knew you could ask him questions about the actual stars, too. Like, the science of it, and he would know. But you’d rather let him ramble and tackle one subject at a time. Even though he focused more on science and math, he was a pretty good storyteller, and right now that provided you with more of an escape than talking about the chemical composition of a star. When he finished his retelling of Ursa Minor’s story, however, he remained silent and didn’t start up a new piece of lore. After a moment, you looked at him to see what the hold up was, but you just caught his eye as his gaze was already fixed on you. Your heart started pounding in your chest because you knew what was coming.

“You know, we could go on an actual date some time.” Brian suggested, breaking the silence. You closed your eyes, almost wincing at the words. He was generally more subtle than this, but the same idea had been brought up before. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brian. In general, you did, and in the honest depths of your soul, it was as more than a friend. But, every time it came down to this subject, you panicked. You had never been serious with anyone and the thought of dating was completely foreign to you. You had messed around with some guys before but you never had feelings for them. You didn’t know how to depend on another person, to have an actual relationship with them.

I had no choice but to hear you

You stated your case time and again

I thought about it

You sighed, your eyes still closed. You didn’t know what to tell him. Before, he always left it as more of a hint and it was easier to dodge. Now he was just coming out and saying it. Basically asking you out, so you would actually have to turn him down this time. The terrible thing was, you didn’t really want to. The conscious side of you wanted to agree and go out with him, on a proper date. But your subconscious kicked you into fight or flight mode and if you weren’t in the middle of a field, you might have picked flight and walked away. But that didn’t seem to be an option.

“Look, Johnson. It’s not that easy. Just...don’t waste your time on me.”

“I’m already wasting my time on you.” He pointed out, but when you took a peek at him, he didn’t seem upset about it. He was actually grinning about it. “We’re already wasting our time out here. Or at the library, or under the bleachers… So why not like, a movie theater or dinner, or my house?”

“Oh yeah, your mom would love having me around.” You joked, humorlessly. The smattering of times you had met Brian’s mother hadn’t gone swimmingly. You could read the derision in her voice and knew she did not approve of her good little baby hanging out with a ne’er-do-well like you.

“She’d come around. You’re different once someone actually gets to know you.” He meant it as a compliment, but you took it as your out.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You leapt up, indignantly and he just gaped at you like a fish out of water.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it, I swear!” He put his hands up defensively as you looked down at him. “Forget it, I’m sorry.” You had victory, he dropped the subject and your friendship could last another night and you could try to pretend like he wasn’t right, that you two weren’t meant to be something more.

*~~~~*

You treat me like I'm a princess

I'm not used to liking that

You ask how my day was

For the most part, working at Bert’s auto shop felt worthwhile and valuable. Other days, it chewed you up and spit you out. It was hard being in such a masculine environment and not fitting into that type. Customers (mostly men, but even the women too) thought that you were less knowledgeable and handy than your cohorts. Bender’s teasing didn’t help that image, either.

Now you slid into the booth at Gino’s pizzeria utterly deflated and defeated. Of course, Brian took notice right away. “Rough day?” He inquired, pushing a menu towards you even though he knew you ordered the same thing every time.

“That’s not even the half of it. Why does Bender hafta be such a dick all the time?!” You asked, incredulously but sincerely, diving right into your problem.

“I don’t know. I think he thinks it’s part of his charm? Maybe it is. I mean, we’re still friends with him.” You nodded at his point, but clenched your fists just the same.

“I just wish he knew when to back off sometimes. Like, he never realizes he’s taking it too far and digging you further into a shithole.”

“What did he do this time?” Brian’s gaze on you was unbroken; it made you feel important, like your opinion, your story, was the only thing that mattered.

“So we got this old guy in the shop today. Beautiful car, so of course he was hesitant with me touching it.” You began and his eyebrows furrowed, already not liking the direction this was going. “And I’m trying to prove myself worthy to work on this car, even though I would just be doing an oil change, which isn’t like a big deal anyway, right? Simple stuff.” You looked to him to get acknowledgement to move forward.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t really know about oil changes or anything about cars. But I know you do.”

“Right, so Bender has to go and make a crack to the old guy about how they won’t let me near it and I’m just the secretary for the shop or whatever. Just a total dick move. But of course the guy believed him and laughed with him and sent me to go get him a cup of coffee? I mean, what the hell is that?”

“That’s not right. And you wear a mechanic’s uniform at work, why would he think--?”

“Because macho man Bender told him I was! He was more believable than me.” You sank back and put a hand up to brace your forehead as the waitress approached the table. You prepared to order your drink when she set down exactly what you would have ordered in front of you and walked away, promising to come back in a few minutes. You blinked at the cup as if it magically had appeared.

“I uh, figured you’d get the usual and you’d need it when you got here, so I ordered for you. I hope that’s okay.” Brian said and then looked away, suddenly embarrassed by the idea. Since he wasn’t looking at you anyway, you allowed your lips to twitch up into a smile threatening to break out on your face...but only for a moment.

“Yeah, whatever. So anyway, Bender…” you carried on, pretending nothing happened, but secretly cataloguing his gesture in your memory.

*~~~~*

The only thing worse than arguing with Brian or him pissing you off was him making you laugh. There were times that you would go home with sore sides and itchy eyes from the tears that formed while laughing so hard. Then you would always, always reflect on the hours you just spent together, feeling the warmth and butterflies tickle your insides and a nervous heat would prickle your skin as you thought about how happy Brian made you. He never pushed you to do anything; he liked you the way you were. Sure, he would drop hints here and there about how you should stop smoking or give you advice when you had a particularly bad argument with one of your friends, but overall, he just accepted you. And you knew how hard that was to find.

You had never been popular and when junior high rolled around, you accepted that you never would be. You found your own little group of outcasts who understood what it was like to be kicked down time and again, and now he had somehow joined that group too. You knew he understood how it felt. Even though he looked different and came from a very different social circle, he had been looked down upon by his peers all his life. You were guilty of judging him the same way when you first met him, but now you couldn’t imagine life without him. He was cut of the same cloth and you could see yourself in him, which is why you just clicked. And he was so kind and so patient with you. You tried to push him away dozens of times, to put up the barriers and the walls that worked so well for everyone that came before him; you couldn’t be hurt if you never got attached. Where most people gave up and only saw the cold, distant bitch you gave them, Brian always saw something more. He didn’t give up in breaking down those walls, and even accepted just being your friend. That made you love him even more.

Shit, wait. Did you just think about loving Brian? A crush is one thing. Having a buddy to fool around with is one thing. Being in love was quite another.

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

*~~~~*

Mercedes Johnson was all about keeping up appearances, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear her arguing with Brian on the other side of the door, about you. Again. You had known from the second you met her that she didn’t like you. She was instantly worried about the influence you’d have on her son; it was a common reaction from parents based on the way you looked and the company you kept. You would think you’d be used to it by now.

However, it truthfully bothered you more because this was Brian’s mother. You were hoping that she would be different and see the person underneath like her son had, or at the very least, that she would eventually warm up to you. You had no luck with either.

“I’m not comfortable with having her over at the house right now.” You could hear her tell Brian.

“She’s my friend, ma. Of course she’s going to come over--”

“I’m aware of that but you know I wish she weren’t. I would prefer that you keep the company of other friends.” The formality of her sentences while she was still cruelly putting you both down made you cringe.

“You don’t know her because you won’t give her a chance. She’s not that different from my other friends.”

“You have friends in the Physics Club, from Knowledge Bowl, Honor Students. You don’t need the association with a hoodlum like that or John Bender and I don’t know why you keep insisting on bringing them into my home when I have repeatedly told you no. I don’t want them around your sister, or even you!”

“Fine. Then we’ll leave.” You heard the door swing open harshly and Brian was motioning for you to follow him out of the house.

“Brian Ralph Johnson!” You heard his mother cry after the two of you. Brian held open the front door for you and you looked at him cautiously before rushing out. You knew you weren’t wanted there, but you were worried that he wouldn’t come with you. You were even more worried that he would. “You are not leaving this house.” Mercedes put on the most intimidating tone you had witnessed her use.

“No, I am. We are. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t bother coming back tonight if you walk out of this house!” She was now pink-faced and losing all of the reserved, polished look you had seen her have. She had never been so...uncomposed.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Brian said and grabbed you by the elbow as he escorted you down the driveway to your car. He immediately got into the passenger seat and as you sunk behind the steering wheel, you glanced at him.

“Brian, this is stupid. You don’t have to---you shouldn’t do this.” The whole situation reminded you of the many times you had been kicked out of your house. This was just another home you weren’t welcome in.

He clenched his jaw in response. “Let’s just go. I’ll figure it out later. Please, just drive.”

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You're so much braver than I gave you credit for

That's not lip service

“Your mom gave you a choice, you know. It’s not like she told you to get out. She actually told you not to leave.” You said as you both sat on the trunk of your car, looking out across the field that was slowly turning to a golden hue, both from the afternoon sun and the change into autumn. Neither of your houses were really an option to go to, so you just chose the empty field that you would look at stars in during the summer.

“It’s not like it was really a choice though, was it? I’m tired of her trying to control every part of my life. I need to start thinking for myself, doing things for myself. She needs to understand that I’m going to do what I want, and like who I want to like.” He looked at you meaningfully for a moment, but you looked away quickly. It was too heavy for you to process right now.

“That’s a big step. I’m really impressed with you for standing up for yourself.” You told him, and he gave you an appreciative, heart-stopping smile in return that caused your cheeks to flush. Your parents had shouted at you to leave so many times before, any time you were ‘inconvenient’ for them, that it was hard to relate to someone who chose not to stay. But you wanted to support him and you did feel proud of him today. You thought back to the most recent event in which you had been dismissed from your family, and how you had tried to take it out on Brian:

You slammed your locker and watched him almost jump out of his skin. “I don’t want to talk about this.” You growled at Brian.

“I understand that, but you need to. You can’t just--”

“Just what?”

“You can’t just act like nothing happened or run away from it...run away from here.” You had been disciplined at school yet again and your parents had had enough. You had a big fight with them the night prior and did not sleep in your own bed. The tiredness racked your body today and you were stiff from sleeping in your car. If it weren’t for the social aspect, you wouldn’t have bothered coming to school. But you quickly realized you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, and you were only making the situation worse.

“Like hell I can’t.” You stated, quickly turning to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t. Come on, talk to me. Tell me what happened. We can figure it out together.”

“There’s nothing to figure out, bucko. I’ll be fine. I’ll do this on my own. I’m used to that anyway.”

“But you don’t have to be alone, Y/N. That’s what I’m saying! That’s my whole point: I’m here for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to be, Brian.”

“No, because friends don’t have to ask.” His words scared you. Nobody had so adamantly offered to be a safety net to you before.

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “we’re great friends. We’ve bonded so much in the, what, four months you’ve known me?” You rolled your eyes, trying to make him feel uncomfortable, to drive a wedge between you. You only knew how to put up walls, how to run.

“You know we are.”

“Yeah, sure, right. Friends. Not like you want to sleep with me or anything.” You tried to drive another knife into him, to play it off like he was following you only because he had a crush on you, one you tried to pretend wasn’t reciprocated. “It’s not going to happen, Brian. So just accept that we’re not friends.”

He let you get about three steps away before you heard him say, “No. I know what you’re doing, and it’s not going to work. Sure, part of me wants something more, but...I care about you, Y/N. And if we can just be friends, I am happy with that, I swear. But don’t do this to me. Don’t try to shut me out or walk away or act like you’re fine. I know you well enough to know you’re not.” When you turned around, you could see that he had tears rimming his eyes, threatening to fall, which made your own tears spring up as well. “I am your friend. I’m not going to just let you go and do something stupid. You are going to talk about this. If not to me, then someone else. But you can’t just run away or sleep in your car or, or…”

“Okay.” You said, softly.

“Okay?”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. I screwed up again and my parents kicked me out. So what do I do?”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I...we’ll think of something.” He began to tell you, but you bit your lip and drowned him out in your own sobs. Everything crashed in on you at once; you hadn’t escaped in time. You slid down your locker wall and sat on the floor. Brian joined you and put his arm around you tentatively.

You are the bearer of unconditional things

You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience

After that day, you knew he wouldn’t let you go. You tried your best to brush him off, to hurt him, to land irreparable blows. But it was all in vain; he stuck by you. You admired how he stood up for you, for your relationship, whatever that meant. He didn’t back down, even though you knew he genuinely cared what you thought. He was willing to put everything on the line just to be with you, in whatever capacity you would allot him. And today, he had chosen you again. He had picked a fight with his mother and chosen you. He placed you above being safe and comfortable and at home right now.

“I’m sorry, this must seem so stupid to be complaining about. I know I don’t have it that bad, it’s just that--”

“No, your problems are valid, too. Your mom sucks.” You told him and he laughed, “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t...weird to have someone be given the choice to stay instead of being yelled at to get out and that you’re worthless and---I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make this about me.” You said softly, looking down at your hands.

“No, I get it. It’s gotta be on your mind a lot, the uncertainty. Plus, I don’t mind talking about you.” He nudged your shoulder with his own, trying to be playful but you knew he meant that. He always put you first. You couldn’t help your next impulse as your hand shot up to cup his face and you leaned in and kissed him roughly. You weren’t entirely sure why you had done it. It would probably change everything and you couldn’t tell if you were doing it selfishly to feel like someone cared or to keep him around or because you truly wanted to. Of course, he kissed you back, and the feeling it gave you pushed a lot of those doubts from your mind.

You're the best listener that I've ever met

You're my best friend

Best friend with benefits

What took me so long?

*~~~~*

The kiss in the field still didn’t mean you were “together.” Realistically, it complicated things for a while. You avoided Brian for a couple of days and didn’t discuss it when you finally caved in to your desire to see him. He didn’t bring it up either, even though there were many times he would look at your lips like he wanted to make a move again, but you never talked about it. Things began to look “normal” after about two weeks. You spent time at the record shop, or under the bleachers with your friends or in the library with his friends. He nagged you about giving up smoking and you finally listened, much to his surprise.

“What made you finally decide to quit?” He asked, looking at the nicotine patch on your arm. You shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“I guess I just finally got tired of you being a broken record, mother hen.” You teased him, but he just smiled because he was happy with your choice. The truth of the matter was, you had done it for him. While you weren’t with him, you wanted to be. You didn’t want to keep doing something that bothered him so much, but you also knew that eventually, your habit of smoking would cost time with him and you didn’t want that. You lied to yourself that you didn’t want a relationship and weren’t thinking about a future with Brian, but you were. Every time he helped you study or encouraged you to do your best, the time your parents were out of town so he had made you his “specialty” of spaghetti in your kitchen, when you drove him around singing songs together on the radio...you thought about doing those things with him forever and instead of the fear you used to feel at such a thought, you felt happiness. You anticipated a future with him, something to look forward to.

I've never felt this healthy before

I've never wanted something rational

I am aware now

I am aware now

*~~~~*

“It’s kind of weird, yeah. But they’re cute together, I guess.” You had just returned from a movie with Bender and Claire. You were surprised at how long their relationship had lasted, especially since you had hated Claire at first. You assumed she was dating Bender as a statement, but it had been over six months and they were still together and it just seemed to work.

“It must be nice to have someone like that. Even if they don’t make sense, they care about each other. It just must be a nice thing to have a relationship like that.” Brian looked at you for a moment before backpedaling, realizing he must have made it sound like he was guilt-tripping you. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you out again. I really just was complimenting them--”

“Well, maybe you should.” You cut him off.

You realized how rare a find like Brian truly was. He always put you before himself; he listened to all of your problems and knew when to offer solutions and when to just listen. He was endlessly supportive, and kind. He kept taking giant risks just to be with you, to show you that you mattered to him. You knew, without him saying it, that he loved you. Why else would someone go to the lengths he did, just to make you happy? You had tried everything to shake him, to get rid of him so neither one of you would be in too deep to get hurt. But he stayed, and now, you wouldn’t want him to go anyway. It was too late; you were both already in too deep.

He just blinked at you, sure he had heard incorrectly. “Wh-what?”

“I said, maybe you should. Ask me out again.”

“Y/N, do you want to go out with me?” He asked, unsure. It felt like a setup, but he knew you wouldn’t do something so cruel to him.

“Yes.” You replied, softly.

“Why?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I don’t know. I guess you won me over.” You chuckled, but he failed to see the humor in it, so you changed to a more serious tone. “Brian, I thought that these feelings would go away, that you would go away. Lord knows how hard I’ve tried to push you. But...you didn’t and the feelings didn’t. I-I love you. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep loving you, I don’t want to waste my time with anyone else. And...And I think that you love me.”

“I do.” He breathed quietly, with zero hesitation.

“So, why fight it any more? I was afraid that I would hurt you, but I think I’ve already done that and you’ve stuck around.” He nodded in confirmation of that fact. “And I was scared that I would get hurt but...but I’ve realized that you won’t do that to me, either.”

You've already won me over in spite of me

Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn't help it

It's all your fault

He took your hands in his, “You’re serious? You really want this? Because, you know how I feel. How I’ve always felt.” You nodded in response, tears quickly filling your eyes, which was a rarity for you. He leaned in towards you to kiss you, for the first time since your conversation in the field over a month ago. He waited for you to be ready in every aspect of your relationship and you had never known so much love and respect before. It took some adjusting to, but he had pulled you in and made you fall for him again and again.

Just gonna tag my buddy...

@90sinequity

[asweetprologue]

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again. 

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con 

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings. 

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD 

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily. 

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449 

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates. 

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

~

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

r u open for sum douxie requests? Him Falling in love with king arthur's daughter💕who's innocent n kind but she isn't happy at camelot she wants to be independent n arthur's like NOPE so she runs away n meets douxie again centuries later n is now a total badass witch but she's sarcastic n mean cuz girl has been THROUGH IT😔 but slowly she warms up to him n falls in love with him all over again cuz with douxie she cant help but be soft💕😭 *u can ignore this ask if u want my English is bad😅*

i absolutely loved this request! i think i did things a bit differently but i'm a sucker for love and i couldn't help it lol. i loved writing this, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it!

•••

Back To You (Douxie x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: none i think

Genre: Fluff, some angst

Fandom: Tales of Arcadia, Wizards

Summary: See request

Word Count: 3379

Reader uses she/her pronouns!

•••

Being king Arthur’s daughter was already hard enough, but being a witch didn’t make things easier. (Y/N) loved magic, even if her father wasn’t a huge fan of it. She started taking an interest in it at a very young age, and her own aunt ended up being her teacher.

As (Y/N) got older, her magic grew stronger as well and even though she knew her father loved her, she could also see the way he looked at her sometimes; he looked at her like she was a stranger, a monster even.

Life in the palace was always a bit boring. The princess didn’t have many friends and most of the time would end up feeling lonely. But that all changed once Merlin decided to get a new apprentice.

They hit it off right away. (Y/N) was excited to have someone around her age close to her and the boy was happy to be surrounded by so many talented people.

But of course, he was a bit nervous about being so close to the princess at first, and he didn’t really understand why she was around so much until he saw her do magic. He was mesmerized and extremely surprised, to say the least.

‘’I didn’t know you could do that,’’ he said once the girl was done with her spell.

‘’What do you mean?’’ The girl asked.

‘’Well, you’re the princess and everyone in the kingdom knows that but it’s not known that you can do magic,’’ he explained.

‘’Oh,’’ she murmured, a bit sad but not surprised. ‘’Well, my father doesn’t really like magic so I guess he’s always been a bit disappointed at my love for it.’’

‘’Come on, why don’t we take a walk around the castle?’’ He offered, trying to cheer her up.

Their friendship grew stronger with every passing day, and it didn’t take long for the young boy to start developing feelings for the sweet princess. She was a really powerful witch but she still had her feet on the ground and remained kind as always; he loved that about her. He also loved her smile and the way she made him feel when they were together.

(Y/N) could tell that there was something going on with her friend; she noticed how nervous he got when she was around, the way he stuttered and blushed. She thought that it was very cute, and it didn’t take her long to realize why he’d been acting like that. But she was still afraid of being wrong, so even though she also had feelings for the boy, she remained silent.

They were oblivious about the way they felt about each other, but everyone else wasn’t. They pretty much acted like a couple already to the eyes of strangers, and also to the eyes of the king.

The relationship between Arthur and his daughter had never been worse. The more she practiced her magic, the more they grew apart. They’d barely talk to each other. (Y/N) hated this, she wanted to be close to her father, but she knew that it would be useless to try to work things out; her father disapproved of anything she did or said. She was supposed to learn how to be a proper princess and future queen, and soon it would be time for her to get married. So of course, her closeness to Merlin’s apprentice was alarming to Arthur, and he decided to confront her at dinner one night.

‘’So, tell me about this apprentice boy,’’ he said to her. He’d requested to have dinner alone with her, and they were seated face to face with each other.

‘’His name is Hisirdoux,’’ she mentioned. ‘’And is this what you wanted to talk about? My friend?’’

‘’Well, he’s not just your friend, right? Rumors travel fast inside the castle, my dear.’’

‘’We’re just friends,’’ she mumbled loud enough for the king to hear.

‘’You sound almost disappointed at those words,’’ he pointed out. He made a pause to drink some of his wine and then he looked at his daughter. ‘’I don’t like him.’’

‘’Here we go…,’’ she sighed and sank in her seat, not wanting to hear what her dad was about to say.

‘’He’s a wizard apprentice, (Y/N). Could you imagine what people would say if you even thought about being with him?’’

‘’What does it matter what people think? I can do magic, too, father. I know you’ve been hiding it from the rest of the kingdom, hiding me. I’m tired of being a secret, of not being myself.’’

‘’For the sake of the kingdom, you should get married to an appropriate suitor.’’

‘’For the sake of the kingdom? Why don’t you just admit that you can’t accept the fact that I’m a witch, father? Are you really that ashamed of me? Or are you actually afraid?’’ The princess said in a defying tone.

‘’Young lady-.’’

‘’No, you’re not gonna do this anymore,’’ she interrupted him. ‘’Why can’t you just accept me? It’s like you don’t even want me to be happy. Magic makes me happy, Douxie makes me happy and I’m tired of you trying to control me just because you can’t accept people who are different!’’ (Y/N) got up from her seat and started walking away.

‘’Where do you think you’re going?’’ Yelled her father.

She stopped walking for a second to turn around and look at him. ‘’Away from you,’’ she answered. What he didn’t know was that she really meant it; she would go as far away as possible.

…

Once she got to her room, she started packing some of her stuff, and when she was done she decided to write a letter. She knew she would go and say goodbye to Douxie, but she wanted him to know some things that she wouldn’t be able to say out loud.

A couple of minutes later, she was ready to go, to leave that place for good. It was late at night but she knew her friend would still be awake, so she decided to head over to his room. Just as she was about to walk out of her room for the last time, she heard some guards approaching. The princess cursed to herself but quickly remembered that there was another way for her to leave without being noticed, Douxie’s room and hers were connected by some secret tunnels they’d made with magic a while back, tunnels that extended throughout the entire castle.

Once she reached the boy’s door, she started knocking like crazy. Douxie opened the door almost immediately and even though he was happy to see her, he could tell that there was something wrong.

‘’(Y/N), what’s wrong?’’

‘’I’m afraid we don’t have time for that, Douxie. I don’t really know how to say this but I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving,’’ she said.

‘’What? Where?’’

‘’I don’t know, to be honest. Somewhere my father won’t find me, somewhere I can be free.’’

He was shocked, to say the least. Deep down, he knew she wasn’t happy with her life in the castle, but this news still surprised him. ‘’I’m going with you,’’ he said and started looking for some stuff to pack. She grabbed him by his shoulders and stopped him.

‘’No, Douxie. I can’t let you do that, okay? You still have a lot to learn from Merlin, I know you have potential and I just can’t take this opportunity for you.’’

‘’But I want to be with you, wherever you go.’’

‘’Trust me, there’s nothing I’d want more, but we can’t,’’ she paused to take a deep breath; she could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. ‘’I wrote you a letter, there are some things I’d like you to know.’’ She grabbed the piece of paper and handed it to him.

‘’(Y/N), please…’’ He begged, he didn’t even know what he was begging for, he just knew that the situation they were in was extremely unfair.

‘’I know my father will be here any minute with his guards, you have to pretend like you haven’t seen me, okay?’’ Her tears were already falling down her cheeks, and so were his. She grabbed the boy’s hands and looked him in the eye. ‘’Promise me you’ll do that, Douxie. You have to act like you have no idea about me suddenly disappearing, yeah?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ he nodded. ‘’I promise, (Y/N).’’

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist, holding on to each other as if their lives depended on it. When they pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together.

‘’Thank you for everything, Douxie. I’ll miss you so much.’’

‘’I’ll miss you, too, (Y/N).’’ They finally pulled away and she walked over to his door, hoping no one would see her. She opened it a little and when she saw that no one was around, she knew it was time to leave. The girl looked back to Douxie one last time and smiled at him. When she was about to leave, she heard the boy speak. ‘’I will find you, (Y/N). I won’t stop until I do, I promise.’’

‘’I can only hope you will,’’ she said before walking away.

…

(Y/N) was right, it didn’t take long for the king and his guards to get to his room. They were looking for the princess, but she was nowhere to be found, and Douxie was just as oblivious to the situation as everyone else.

After the guards made sure she wasn’t hidden in his room, they left. As soon as the door was closed, the boy fell to the floor. He brought his knees to his chest and started crying; he just couldn’t believe what had happened. He couldn’t believe his favorite person was gone.

He knew she was a witch, a powerful one, which meant she’d be able to live for a long time, just like him, but the world was a huge place and deep down he knew there was the possibility of never seeing her again.

Douxie tried to calm himself down, took some deep breaths, and ran his hands through his hair. Then, he remembered the letter, the last piece of her that he had.

He grabbed it and quickly opened it. First, he admired her handwriting, beautiful as always and then he started reading.

Dear Douxie,

If you’re reading this, it means that I’ve finally left. Deep down I think we all knew the palace wasn’t my place, I just never belonged inside these walls, but that doesn’t erase how much it hurts me to leave you.

You changed my life, Douxie, turned all the black and white into full colour, and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. You’re so important to me, I don’t think you understand how much you matter to me. You were my first real friend, you taught me what it meant to fully trust someone with your entire heart… and I guess you also taught me what love is. It’d be useless to try and hide it any longer, it’s been a while since there was something more than just a friendship between us. I wish I’d been brave enough to tell you sooner, to do something about it, but I didn’t. All I can say right now is that I love you, that I’m in love with you and that I’ll do anything I can to go back to you; I mean it, Douxie, I won’t stop until we’re together again because I know in my heart that these feelings will never go away, you mean the world to me.

Thank you for always being there when I needed you.

(Y/N).

Douxie didn’t know when he’d started crying, but he couldn’t stop. He covered his mouth with his hand to silence a sob, and then he wiped some tears off his face.

‘’I love you, too, (Y/N), and I’ll find you, no matter what,’’ he mumbled, making a promise to her once again, and also to himself.

...

900 years later

(Y/N) was just walking around the streets of Arcadia, minding her own business when suddenly she bumped into someone.

‘’Oh, I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful,’’ she said, apologizing to the person in front of her.

She barely even paid attention to the whole situation and was ready to keep walking, but she stopped in her tracks when she heard a voice. The same voice she’d dreamt about hearing again, the same voice she’d missed ever since that day in the castle. He only said her name, but that was enough for her heart to start racing.

(Y/N) turned around and their eyes locked, time seemed to have stopped. She barely had any time to properly react before his arms were wrapped around her body, and instinctively her arms did the same thing.

‘’Please tell me this is not a dream,’’ he said once they pulled apart.

‘’Douxie,’’ she mumbled, still unable to believe that it was really him. He let out a sigh when he heard her; he missed hearing her say his nickname, the one she’d given to him, the one he ended up using all the time because it reminded him of her.

‘’It’s me, (Y/N), I’m here. I said I would find you, that’s what kept me going for so long.’’ He said, truly speaking from the heart.

‘’I started losing hope a long time ago, to be honest,’’ she said. She wanted to hug him again, to tell him how much she’d missed him and how she was still head over heels for him, but she couldn’t. The past had changed her, she had to change in order to survive and she’d learned to be afraid of trusting people, even the ones she loved the most.

‘’What are you even doing here, though?’’

‘’I honestly don’t know, I just kind of ended up here I guess.’’

There was a pause between them. It all happened so fast, just a few minutes ago the hope of seeing each other again was nonexistent.

‘’I missed you so much, (Y/N). There’s so much I want to talk about and so much I want to hear from you. I-I can’t believe it’s really you.’’ She smiled at him, not really knowing what to answer. ‘’I still have your letter, there hasn’t been a day in which I didn’t think about it and what you said in it.’’

(Y/N) opened her eyes. She thought about that later almost every day, also remembering her words, her confession.

Douxie noticed that there was something wrong, it was evident in her silence, in how tense she seemed. He tried to grab her hand but she refused, taking a small step backward.

‘’Hey, what’s wrong?’’ He didn’t get an answer, just a scared and worried look in response. ‘’Look, do you think you could meet me after work tonight? I’d like to catch up with you and talk about everything, I guess.’’

‘’I- uh, I don’t know, I-.’’

‘’Please, (Y/N). I think we owe it to each other.’’

She took a deep breath and made eye contact with him for a split second. ‘’Okay, tell me where do you work.’’

…

Douxie’s shift was about to end. He was nervous, he couldn’t wait to see her again. When they saw each other earlier, he noticed she was acting a bit weird. Of course, he hadn’t seen her for nine centuries, but that wasn’t the (Y/N) he remembered. She was different, distant and cold. Deep down, he even thought if maybe he’d already lost her, nine hundred years was a long time after all.

He was closing the restaurant when he saw the girl approaching him.

‘’Hey,’’ she said once they were face to face.

‘’Hi, I’m glad you came.’’ There was a small silence between them. (Y/N) started playing with her fingers, trying to calm herself down. ‘’Listen, I know it’s late but would you like to walk around while we talk?’’

‘’Of course, yeah.’’ They immediately started walking.

‘’I have so much I want to say, but first I wanna hear about you, (Y/N). What have you been up to?’’

‘’Well, trying to put these last nine centuries into words would be a bit difficult. I haven’t been doing much, really, just trying to hide my magic from everyone, seems like I’ll always have to.’’ She mumbled the last part, but he could still hear her. It was evident she was talking about her father, who she hadn't seen since that night in the castle. ‘’What about you?’’

‘’Pretty much the same thing, I guess. I don’t usually stay that much in the same place, though. You know, always looking the same could raise suspicion.’’

‘’Yeah, tell me about it. After a while some people just start spying on you because they know there's something going on, or at least that happened to me.’’

They reached a bench and decided to sit down. (Y/N) tried to keep a bit of distance between them, something that the boy noticed, and he tried to hide his sad expression at the girls' action. They stayed quiet for a bit, the girl admired the stars while also allowing herself to enjoy the boy's company, even if deep down she knew she shouldn't have.

"I'm in love with you, too," said Douxie, breaking the silence and immediately creating a bit of tension in the air. "I still do, and I know I always will; my biggest regret is not telling you sooner, when we were together back in the castle." The girl opened her mouth to say something but Douxie didn't let her, he grabbed one of her hands and slowly caressed it before he kept talking. "Finding you is what kept me going for so long, I said it earlier, but it's true. This may seem like I'm trying to rush things but I think we've been apart for too long to keep waiting, (Y/N)."

He slowly grabbed her face and ran a finger along her cheek, pulling her closer to him, but she pulled away. "I can't, Douxie. I truly can't."

"What do you mean? Did you find someone else? Do you not love me anymore? It's okay if you don't, nine centuries is a long time-."

"I do still feel things for you, but these last years have been very hard, Douxie. I've learnt not to trust people, even those closest to me. Please, don't take this personally, it's not your fault."

He slowly nodded and then made eye contact with her. "I understand, I know how you're feeling, trust me. I also understand if you're not ready, and I would wait for you for a hundred lifetimes, my dear."

"I want to be ready, Douxie, I truly do. I want to be with you, it's what I've wanted ever since we'd walk around the castle, running away from Merlin or my father." She paused for a bit, taking a deep breath; it's like she was at war with herself, she'd been for a long time, but she was tired of fighting, of hiding, she wanted to let her walls down. "Maybe we could take things slowly," she said. They looked at each other and he caressed her cheek once again.

"Of course, my love, anything you need."

She leaned on his hand and closed her eyes, enjoying his warmth after so many years. "Would you kiss me?" she asked.

He simply grabbed her face and slowly pulled her closer to him, and finally their lips touched.

"I love you so much, (Y/N)," he whispered once they pulled away.

"I love you, too, Douxie."

They sat side by side and the girl rested her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her. They didn't say anything, they didn't have to, they both knew what they were feeling at that moment. They were finally complete, and it was like every single bad thing they had to go through was worth it, because it had led them to that moment, to their encounter.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x fem! mute! reader - Dancing eyes

(Image not mine)

A/n: I just thought about this and here we are. Also! I will have at least two more imagines coming out today or tomorrow! I'm also sorry if I offended anyone I really tried to make a good representation of the reader and I did some research but I'm not mute so I don't know exactly what's that's like. So if you guys could tell me if I did anything wrong, just some feedback that would be nice!

Warnings: Mentions of trauma, death, angst, blood, gore, the reader is mute, fluff I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Kaz falling in love with you

(The sign language is in italics bold!)

All rights go to leigh bardugo, netflix, and you! I just own the plot!

She was dancing when he first saw her.

She did a few twirls, her leg went into the air flawlessly into a arabesque to the side. It was powerful and controlled but it was graceful. The girl did a paw de chat and jumped high into the air turning around and landing with one leg behind her perfectly straight and pointed, one leg on the ground and her hands in front of her like she was presenting something to the audience.

The crowd clapped and applauded her but she did not smile, not till she did a low curtsy and while she did her y/c/e orbs meant his. Kaz's breath got lodged in his throat when he saw her beautiful eyes. Then they lit up like all the stars were in her eyes and her lips curved upwards forming a small grin.

Kaz shook his head, she wasn't valuable to the dregs so she wasn't worth looking for, so he turned swiftly on his feet and started walking towards the slat.

But you wish she was.

Kaz started looking for her everyday, and everyday she would be in her spot near the slat doing a dance. Her graceful movements often caught his eye and he would often find himself watching her from his window.

Weak.

But one day something else caught his eye about her, she had enough money for shoes and clothes, it didn't look like the girl ate much, barely enough to keep her alive. Thought still, she bought food.

Or did she?

He observed her in a different way now - for a week and to say the Brekker boy was surprised would be an understatement. The little dancer had been stealing.

Sometimes she would steal food, money, and do a few magic tricks here and there but the thing was he never saw her steal only saw the people leave with empty pockets.

Kaz could admit to himself that she was good, possibly better than him - which was dangerous. But could she kill someone? Maybe he could train her but he found he didn't want to force that upon the girl that danced outside his window everyday. Stealing food, money and even clothes sometimes.

Saints, I'm growing soft. Kaz thought to himself.

The next time he saw her was three weeks later well, the thing is he didn't see her outside his window dancing all day from 6:00pm sharp all the way to 3:30am.

He wondered how the girl slept.

He was limping down a street and he turned a corner only to hear a voice and it wasn't recognizable so he quietly limped over and peaked his head out.

It was the little dancer.

She had a grisha steel dagger pressed up against a man's throat. The man was trembling in fear, and the little kitten that once danced was gone and her claws were coming out.

"Please-please! I did can-can pay-pay you back! Please! I-I know people who-who can help!"

The man looked young but was definitely a sleaze ball, with his brown hair that looked like it was decaying, his round bodice, his fat arms and legs and he retched of alcohol and young girls.

He was nothing compared to the girl.

The tiger had a snarl on her face, but she didn't make a sound as she stabbed the dagger threw his forehead killing him. Then she pulled the knife and grabbed a piece of paper presumably writing something down on it.

She spun on her heels and she faced him.

Shit.

She just blinked at him and made some weird hand movements which Kaz identified as sign language.

Oh he did know what sign language was, he knew how to use it too.

If you wanted a show, you could have just asked dirtyhands.

The girl smiled when he rolled his eyes.

"I don't want a show, but I would like you to join the dregs." He said out loud in a monotone voice. She looked taken aback that he could understand her but she grinned even brighter that he could.

Of course. It's better.

She signs, using just those words and not adding anything else - just it's better. Though he knew actually what she meant.

"What are you. You seem to know your way around here, not to mention the stealing and killing."

I'm a assassin. I Trained somewhere... not in Kerch, and I escaped and went here.

Her signing his precise and graceful almost like her dance movements. She starts to walk away but she pause's and turn's to him.

You can call me Nemesis.

Then she walks away. He didn't even know the time or whether she was even going to show up. He didn't even know her real name - not a single thing about her real identity really.

Only that she dances.

After that day he dreamed of her every night. Sometimes she would be dancing outside or she was working on a job with him. On the occasion he would get a dream about her in a meadow holding up a flower and showing it to someone. But that seemed more like a memory more then anything because she looked younger - a child only five maybe seven.

He longed for the sleep.

Once after a job with the Crows she came to his room and her hair flowed down her back as she climbed into his desk chair while he was on his bed.

He didn't even hear her come into the room.

Writing something down on the paper she turns around and hands him it.

My name is Y/n.

That's when he knew she trusted him.

After that moment they slowly began to come together - slowly but surely. Whether it be a small brush of the hand or full on skin to skin contact they we're there and then they weren't. Technically, they weren't dating - not officially anyways but no one (not even the Crows) could find where Kaz or Y/n began or where they ended. It was like they we're on one big loop, they we're on person yet they we're different.

The first time he kissed her she was coming back from killing someone.

Y/n was his personal assassin, because of that she killed a lot of people and had to be never seen, no evidence, not always clean kills. But Y/n had already admitted to killing many people and she signed that she probably had killed more people in her childhood then he will ever tell her to kill in his lifetime.

So when she came back in tears after a murder he was rightly confused. Her bright y/c/e eyes we're filled to the brim with tears and the eyes that usually danced with emotions were almost dead looking. Though to Kaz they still looked beautiful.

That's not what she needs right now.

Kaz sat on the bed staring at the assassin that stood in the middle of his room, that looked nearly like the little dancer that he once thought she was. But her eyes looked shattered like glass spread across the floor in pieces.

He patted the room beside him on the bed and she reluctantly followed where his hand was and sat down. She kept her eyes cast down, and it killed Kaz to not see those beautiful eyes that danced. The only thing the left of her innocence in his opinion.

With an ungloved hand he lifted her chine up to his and slowly her eyes meant his. Her breath stuttered, she breathed in and started moving her hands using sign language to talk.

There was a child.

She started, always trying to get to the point fast enough.

They went up to me and...

Her hand movements came to an erupt stop and she slowly breathed in a breath preparing.

They called me a monster.

Kaz looks at her and the tears in her eyes. She needs comfort or something at least but he's not so sure he can give her that. He's not sure if he's even ready for that.

Yes you are. And Kaz could finally agree with the voice in his head.

He slowly brought their lips together and brushed them together in sync. He lifted his hand to go to her cheek and he stroked it. They pulled away, it was barley a kiss but it was enough.

"You could never be a monster Y/n." He whispered as their foreheads touched again.

__________TIME SKIP_____________________________________

Knives, arrows, and bullets were flying though the air. Some hitting people and some not. Kaz looked over to Y/n, he knew he shouldn't have brought her on this job.

She had an air of royalty around her, she killed whomever she liked out of the Blacktips.

That's if she granted them mercy.

If she didn't you would die a very painful death. Her hair was blowing in the wind making it look like she was floating, and for all Kaz knew about her, this girl was full of surprise's. She might as damn well been.

Her reflects were quick and graceful but deadly. Just how she dances. He thought. Her eyes were on fire and they seemed to burn everything around them.

She really was a Saint.

Focus. He scolded himself.

You can think about her more later and maybe tell her what you think boy. It was a different voice this time, and it vaguely sounded like his father but he pushed the thought away and kept on fighting.

The heist was over and he looked around for Y/n because usually on mission's like these they would go together and just sit. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would just enjoy each other's presences. It was all they needed, just a reminder for them that they we're still alive.

"Did you see Y/n." He said flatly not wanting to seem worried although he really was.

"Ya, I saw her slip away earlier she looked fine." Nina supplied.

He gave her a quick nod and started walking back to the slat. At the least he knew she was fine.

They couldn't find her.

It had been a week and she didn't show up, they were all desperately trying to find the assassin but she was no where to be found. She silent girl was gone, they didn't even know if she was captured or not.

After another week the others had given up saying if their was a lead they would be there. Then Kaz found a note on his desk.

Dear Mr Brekker,

Hello Kaz this is Y/n, so I'm sorry for doing this but it had to be done. I'm not captured no, and I'm safe for now no ones really safe in the barrel. I have many enemies and they will find out you and the Crows are my weakness and I can't have that. You mean so much to me in words I could never describe and it pains me so much to leave knowing - I love you. You are some much stronger than me and a considerably better person then I ever could be although you fight against that statement. You put your Armour down for me and I couldn't do that for you. I'm sorry.

May the stars watch over you,

with love Y/n

Kaz didn't know what to do, Y/n was gone the loop was broken and everything was back to the way it was. He closed his eyes and thought about her eyes - those dancing eyes.

Like for part 2!

Words 1930

-thedeluisonreaderbitch

[featherthiefdean]

Dean and Cas are both having a bad week months after pulling Cas from the Empty. When they get stuck in the car during a rainstorm, Dean finally gets the courage to tell, or really show, Cas how he feels.

1.6K words

Read on AO3 here

Sometimes when it rains, it absolutely pours.

Dean was frustrated. Everything about this last week had gone about as wrong as wrong could go. Things fell apart when a witch, on what should have been routine hunt, tossed him around like a rag doll. She even managed to bust Sam’s shoulder by throwing him through a window not once but twice.

It got worse when Dean realized that the reason the hunt went sideways was because the spell hadn’t worked properly. Cas had sent a picture of the witch stopping spell to Dean’s phone but the picture had distorted and cut off the last ingredient necessary to make the spell work. You would think sending a picture from a magical bunker to the middle of nowhere Montana wouldn’t be too much for modern technology. Thankfully, Dean was able to reach his gun while the witch was busy tossing his brother. Two witch-killing bullets later, she was dead.

When Dean sent Cas a text saying they had to detour to the hospital to get Sam fixed up, Cas called him seconds later. The guilt that his phone malfunctioned caused Cas to lose it on the other end of the line and nothing Dean could say would calm the guy down.  Dean thought maybe Cas would feel better when Sam and Dean returned to the bunker and saw that they were fine but that turned into a whole other issue all together. Cas’s eyes went wide at the sight of Sam’s arm in a sling. Sam assured him it was just a bad sprain but Cas’s distress was clear. Cas’s final straw had been seeing the bruise forming along the left side of Dean’s face.

Cas raised his hand to touch the bruise almost like he was going to heal him. When Cas’s hands made contact, Dean unwittingly flinched from pain. Cas withdrew his hand quickly and silently. He went straight to his room without another spoken word. Dean knew that the photo mishap and the reminder that he could no longer heal them made Cas feel like a failure. Then, Dean flinching when Cas touched him probably sent the wrong message. Feelings of guilt overwhelmed the former angel and Cas hid in his room for the last six days. The inability to offer Cas comfort or reassurance left Dean feeling like a failure too.

Dean had tried to talk to Cas every time he emerged to use the bathroom or get some food but he was met with stony silence or passive aggressive comments. It had been two months since Cas’s last emotional episode and this one felt rougher than normal. When Claire called to ask them to cover a weird case she found while she worked a vampire nest with Jody, Dean ended up literally dragging the new human out of his room because Sam was benched for the foreseeable future. Cas protested going until Dean said that he needed backup. It was clear Cas didn’t want to be anywhere near Dean which only soured his mood further.

The icing on the shit cake was when the Impala ate one of Dean’s favorite Led Zeppelin tapes two hours into a ten-hour drive in the pouring rain.

Yeah, Dean was over this week.

By the time they pulled into the motel they would staying at, a pond had formed in the parking lot big enough to drown a rat from the Princess Bride and the rain seemed to be falling heavier every second. Dean shifted the Impala to park and shut off the engine but made no effort to get out of the car. He leaned forward to look out the windshield to see if there was any end in sight for the torrent of rain but they couldn’t be so lucky.

“Dean, what are you looking for?” Cas asked from the passenger seat as he mimicked the lean. It was the first time he had spoken in hours after talking on the phone with Sam. They had spoken about the case and the case only so Dean could focus on keeping them from hydroplaning off the backroads to the rundown town they were in now.

“I’m looking out for the T-Rex, can’t let it scoop us up before we’ve even had the chance to get dinner.”

Cas turned his entire body towards Dean at this statement. His pink lips parted into a small, confused O and bright blue eyes squinted at Dean in confusion. Dean wouldn’t chance opening Baby’s door with the falling rain but he would let himself drown in Cas’s eyes if given a chance.

“Jurassic Park, Cas. We watched the original last month when Jack stopped by for burgers. You spent the entire move talking about dinosaurs actually having feathers.”

“Oh. Yes, I remember now. ‘Life finds a way.’” Cas’s voiced slipped even lower while quoting the movie, the gravel in his voice even more pronounced. 

Cas went back to looking out the window and watched the rain pour down around them. Dean was free to stare at Cas more openly now. Cas had ditched the trench coat and suit not long after returning from the Empty. Dean never asked why. Now, he was in a blue hooded sweatshirt that brought out his eyes and a pair of well-worn jeans. There was a hint of stubble on his face and his hair was longer than normal. Dean took in all of Cas and felt a sharp pain of longing in his chest. Not a word had been said about “before” but Dean had been meaning to talk-

“We should probably head inside. I don’t think the rain is going to let up soon and I promised I would call Sam back when we arrived,” Cas said as he turned his focus back to Dean.

“Technically, you said you would call him back when we got into the motel room. We aren’t in the room yet.”

“You want me to avoid talking to Sam on a technicality?”

“No, I want to avoid getting soaked down to my underwear and then have to listen to Sam drone on about the lore.”

“Well, if we aren’t getting out of the car soon, what exactly would you like to do to pass the time?”

Dean could definitely think of a few things. He thought about leaning over and kissing Cas breathless while feeling the newly formed stubble beneath his fingertips. He thought about dragging Cas over the front seat while the rain hit the metal roof of the Impala and drowned out his moans. He thought about pulling off Cas’s sweatshirt first and then the former Metallica tee that Cas stole from Dean’s laundry the first week he was human as the windows begin to fog up. He thought about his hands tracing Cas’s-

“Dean, are you listening to me?”

“Buddy, I’m always listening to you.”

“Tell me what I just said.”

“I-uh-”

“Exactly, you never listen. Even before when I-” Cas trailed off and angrily watched the raindrops race down the window.

Dean’s heart broke a little more inside. His heart had shattered when Cas confessed his feelings before being taken by the Empty. The shattered pieces crumbled further when he realized the feelings he had been harboring for years towards his best friend were romantic. He loved Cas back. What little pieces that remained had been ground into dust when he thought he wouldn’t get the chance to say it back and he was too late.

When Cas came back, the pieces began to fit back together slowly yet he had never mentioned them again for fear of his heart being broken one last time. It might break him if Cas had changed his mind and he couldn’t risk it.

Dean slid closer to Cas and nudged him gently with his hand, “I listen, Cas. Always, at least to the important stuff anyway.”

“Really Dean? Because I don’t think you have ever taken anything I have said seriously. Not a single time, maybe when I was an angel but certainly not since I’ve become human.”

“Hey, yes I do. I just got distracted a minute ago-“

“No Dean, you don’t listen. It doesn’t matter what I say or how I say it. You don’t hear me. I don’t know why I’m even here.”

The anger had evaporated from Cas’s voice leaving him sounding tired and sad. Cas let his head roll back onto the soft vinyl seat and shut his eyes.

The elephant-sized weight of everything that had gone unsaid between the two of them was suffocating. The fear in his chest of voicing his own feelings were out gunned by his fear of losing Cas. This week was bad enough with Cas avoiding him, he couldn’t stand if Cas had the exact wrong opinion because of him. Cas thought Dean didn’t care. He thought he didn’t feel the same. The only problem with that was Dean had fallen more in love with Cas with every passing day.

“Cas, look at me.”

Cas let out a deep sigh before turning his head back to Dean. Blue eyes locked with green and Dean knew what he needed to do.

“Cas, I hear you and… I heard you. That Day.”

Dean leaned forward to capture Cas’s lips with his. He channeled everything he had been meaning to say since, well, forever into it. After a moment, Cas was kissing him back. Gentle compared to fierceness coming from Dean. The stubble underneath his fingers and the soft feeling of Cas’s lips sent Dean straight to Heaven.

A few minutes later and much too soon to Dean’s humble opinion, they broke apart.

“I love you too, Cas. Always have.”

Maybe the rain wasn’t drowning them after all, maybe it was washing the slate clean for the first time.

[nakamoto-aesthetics]

34+35 | mark lee

synopsis: you gave mark a show (that’s it ;)

pairing: boyfriend!mark lee x female!reader

genre: VERY sexual

warning: oral sex! male receiving, gag reflex, daddy kink, a speck of degradation

word count: 2.7k

a/n: sorry i’ve been a little absent recently, i’ve been writing a whole bunch of fics to push out for you guys and i’m proud to say this is one of them!!! so without further ado, please enjoy :)

“yooo this is my song” you shout, putting down the paper tower and walking over to the tv, turning the volume up.

your words brought attention to mark and he looked up from his place on the couch. ‘what the hell is she wearing?’ he thought. you had on a long silk, deep red robe paired with black diamond-encrusted heels. damn did you look good.

you held the remote and sang into it acting as if it were a microphone. you look at mark and cock your eyebrow, giving him a quick smile.

“babe are you about to serenade m-“

“you might think I’m crazy, the way I been craving, if I put quite plainly, just gimme them babies” you cut him off. you walk over to mark and kneel, placing yourself in between his thighs. you have marks full undivided attention right now, his phone was off and set beside him while his eyes were watching your every move and action.

“what are you doing?” mark breathily whispers. you ignore him and continue the song.

(I'm gonna skip through the lyrics so this doesn’t drag out)

“I don't wanna keep you up, but show me, can you keep it up? cause then I'll have to keep you up, shit, maybe I'ma keep you up, boy” your free hand travels up his left thigh; you can hear the way his breath hitches at your touch, already seeing the bulge begin to form. you hand reaches the end of his thigh and wraps around his hip, squeezing it slightly.

“babe” mark bites his lip while looking at you with lust-filled eyes.

“can you stay up all night? fuck me 'til the daylight, thirty-four, thirty-five” you look into his eyes repeating the words.

“oh yeah? come here then baby” he says in a low tone. it makes you look down almost immediately. you were caught off guard by the words. you wanted that so bad. mark notices this action and takes the chance to place his fingertips on your shoulder and trail it down your chest to your boobs.

they were peeking out from under the robe and mark couldn’t help but touch, he wanted to do more than touch but the show you were giving was too good to abruptly stop. you look up again and take his hand away, placing it in his lap and you continue to sing.

“you drink it just like water, you say it taste like candy”

“oh, it taste better than that” mark bites his lip, and the bulge jerks under his pants. you notice the sentence and jerk under his pants but continue as if nothing had happened, but secretly you had been throbbing since you started the song. mark was just that powerful.

you sing a few more lines until you get to the best part. you stand up and sit on his lap, your back was to his chest. you could feel his hard-on right beneath your butt, you had the magic touch. his dick was straining under his pants and you could feel that. you could feel the way it was throbbing erratically under you and you just knew he could feel the way you were throbbing too because his hands reached for your thighs and squeezed them but you pushed both of them off.

“baby, you might need a seatbelt when I ride it, I'm a leave it open like a door, come inside it,” you grind your hips into him, hearing him groan. he works his hips up into yours trying to get as much action as he could but you stop him by holding his hips down. you then spread your legs and grab marks hand, placing it on your chest and guiding him down your boobs and sides.

his hand then stops at the end of your stomach and you move it down to your thigh, gripping it. you didn’t even have to grip his hand, mark took it into his own hands and did it on his own. he was so desperate at this point; this showed in the way he touched and grabbed at you.

“even though I'm wifey you can hit it like a side chick, don't need no side dick, no” you lean back and sing into his ear lowly, emphasizing the first part; you were still holding the remote like it was a microphone. you look up at him, seeing only a little bit of his face since you were laying your head on his shoulder. you can't help but bring your finger up to his jaw and trace over it.

mark was so damn sexy. it was physically hard for you to sit near him and not touch him. you loved the curve and shape of his lips, looking at them way too often.

mark looked down at you, only seeing a little bit of your face. you could see more of his face when he turned, his cherry pink lips were the thing you saw the most. they were so tempting as if his lips were staring into your soul waiting for you to attach yours to them. mark leans down to kiss you but you can’t let that happen, not yet at least. you pull your head back and away from him, moving his hands and standing up. mark looks at you with a confused face.

“I know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, you're such a dream come true, make a bitch wanna hit snooze, ooh” you wink at him, smiling. his face breaks out a smile and he playfully rolls his eyes not being able to stay mad at you.

you put the remote down on the table and slip your robe off, under it you had on a black, laced, and see-through lingerie set. marks mouth dropped and his eyes widened. he was speechless, to say the least. you get into position nonetheless really about to give him a show.

“can you stay up all night? fuck me 'til the daylight, thirty-four, thirty-five” you move your body smoothly, rolling your hips and then dropping to a squat, you turn to the side and bounce looking at mark the whole time. he was so focused on you and your movements. his eyes trailed up and down your body multiple times. he couldn’t get enough of the sight.

you repeat the words and stretch your hand out to the floor and slide your body against it. mark bites his lips looking at your ass and position. he wanted to ram into you right about now. the tip of his dick had to be red with anger at this point from all the teasing and visuals.

“means I wanna 69 with ya” you wink at him. he clenched his jaw. you finish out by slowly rolling your hips against the floor and shaking your ass a little bit, teasingly. you stare back into marks dark eyes. you were for sure about to be in a world of trouble, not responding to him, teasing him, and then pushing his hands off. he let you slide because he wanted to see the rest of your show but once it was done…

the song came to a stop and you stood up, grabbing your robe and putting it on but not tying it. another song played but you didn’t know it so you went to the tv and turned it down some. when you turned around the dark eyes were staring back at you just as intense as before. you cocked an eyebrow at him and walked into the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

mark clenches his jaw and gets up following after you. he was surprised by the sight, you were… cleaning. you picked up the paper towel once more and continued to wipe it down the counter. all dressed up to clean? mark couldn’t wrap his head around the concept. he looked down at your feet, cleaning in heels too? wtf?

“why are you cleaning in heels?” mark asked. he was curious, setting aside your little show from a few minutes.

“because it adds to the aesthetic” you walk over to the trash can and throw out the dirty piece of damp paper towel and walk over to the table, bending over it to grab something.

mark shakes his head and chuckles. “you're something else, you know that?” he notices the way your bent over the table and jumps at the opportunity.

he comes up behind you and rests his hands on your hips, pushing himself against you. “y/n” mark breathily whispers.

“yes, bub” you stand up not bothered by his movements.

“stop teasing me and give me what I want” he whines.

“mark im cleaning, I will later” you turn to face the front of him.

“no your gonna pay for what you just did now” he looks down at your outfit and before you know it your back is to the wall and his lips are on yours. the kiss is rough and fast but you don’t mind it. his lips travel to your neck and he rolls parts of your skin between his teeth.

“mark” you cry out.

“mm?”

“it feels so good” you close your eyes and but your lip.

mark doesn’t say anything and pulls away. you furrow your eyebrows and look at him.

“knees now” he commands and looks at you with dark eyes. you widen your eyes and sink to your knees almost immediately. he had you wrapped around his finger and that was obvious.

he unbuttons his pants and pulls his length out. unlike anything you had seen before his tip was bright red, frustrated from all the teasing. mark was above average, he wasn’t small but he wasn’t huge, he was just… right.

“suck” he taps the tip against your lips and your mouth expands almost immediately. you swirl your tongue around his tip and he slides it into your mouth. he groans and tries his hardest not to shove all of himself in your mouth.

you could feel him throbbing in your mouth as you bob your head up and down. he groans and holds the wall behind you.

“damn babe” he closes his eyes. he especially moans loudly when you deep throat him. you feel him shiver and his hand goes to your head. “just like that” he whispers and his eyes roll to the back of his head.

you look up at him through your eyelashes because you know that’s what sets him off. his head is thrown back along and his mouth is open, letting out a mix of moans and groans every two seconds. his sounds and noises were always so pretty to you.

his eyes open and he looks down at you, catching your eyes. his next thrust hits the back of your throat and you gag, retreating him out of your mouth. you cough, covering your mouth as your eyes begin to water.

“are you okay my love?” mark looks down at you with the most heartfelt eyes, leaning down to hold your face securely in his hands.

you nod and blink multiple times. “it’s fine” you grab his length and hold it up to your mouth, ready to take it once more.

“nope” he takes it from your grasp, tucking it back into his pants and pulling you up into his arms. “we're done for today let’s do something else” he kisses your forehead.

“mark you act as if I've never gagged on you before,” you say with a hoarse voice and chuckle.

“yeah but I feel like I'm hurting you every time” he pouts and runs his thumb across your lip. you shake your head and smile.

“no baby, I like gagging on you” mark widens his eyes at that.

“that’s some next-level kinky shit” he replies making you laugh. “hold up so… would you like it if I were to degrade you?”

“only during sex” you reply simply without hesitating. mark looks at you with an ‘I can’t believe you just said something like that’ face.

“what else don’t I know?”

“a lot of things. I just never bothered to tell you bc you already knew how to please me in different ways” you kiss his cheek. “like when your aggressive with me and your tone gets deeper.” you bite your lip and roll your eyes. “that drives me up the fucking wall.” he laughs at that.

“wait so I’m confused, do you want me to do those things?” he asks.

“if you want to, it doesn’t matter” you shrug and he shrugs along with you. it’s quiet for a few seconds. marks brain was trying to process all the information, while your brain was mentally laughing at his facial expressions.

“so do you wanna continue?” he smirks slightly.

“yes I do mark lee” you smirk back at him. “do you wanna continue?” you ask him teasingly, already knowing the answers.

“yes I do baby girl,” he grabs your hand turns you around so your back was against his chest. his hands reach down to your thighs and he grips them, making your breath hitch. “do you wanna suck me, or do you wanna be fucked?” his head digs into the crook of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin. it made you shiver in his grip but he didn’t mind that so much that you could feel his lips form into a smirk.

“can’t decide so I want both” you lean into him, putting most of your weight on him.

“doesn’t work like that,” he says in a muffled tone, although you could still make out the words.

“it does in my book”

“nope one or the other”

“ why? that’s not fair” you protest.

“because… I get too sensitive” he says and you break out into an immediate smile.

“that’s why you rarely ever let me suck your dick and then fuck you right after” you think about all the times previous to this one. “that’s so cute aww” you turn into his arms so your face to face again and kiss his face. “my baby gets sensitive” your hands go to his waist and you grip it, making him jump in surprise.

“nope, stay in your place,” he takes your hands off of his waist and grabs your waist, pulling you flush against his body. the action made your stomach do flips, his hands were on your bare skin. “you’re the sub and I’m the dom, remember that” he says while hovering over your lips. your breath hitches as his hands glide down the side of your waist to your ass.

“mark” you moan softly.

“that’s not my name baby girl” he squeezes your ass tighter.

“daddy” you cry out, you could feel his bulge growing against you.

“that’s right babe. now, what other kinky things do you like?”

“i-i d-don’t k-know” you reply. his dick was poking at your black laced panties. it felt so good against your now erratically throbbing core. after a few seconds, you just couldn’t take it anymore, you begin to roll your hips slightly against him. you place your hands on his shoulders and press your body against his, you could feel his toned torso.

mark doesn’t say anything but instead, picks you up and takes you to the room. you hit his back very lightly in protest but he doesn’t respond to it. he puts you down on the bed and hovers over your body.

“you don’t know?”

“no” you shake your head and look up at him. he looked so sexy from this angle. you nearly combust at the sight of him all the time.

“how about I show you then,” he says lowly, looking at you with dark eyes.

“okay… daddy” you smirk and bite your lip.

mark leans up and bites his lip, looking at you all together. “you're so beautiful” mark mutters but you hear it. you immediately break out into a blush and smile softly.

“too bad I’m gonna have to ruin you tonight” his hand wraps around your throat, making your breath hitch.

“daddy” you whine out.

“you're my little slut now, you will obey me” his tone lowers and his grip on your neck gets tighter. your stomach did somersaults at his words. you could feel just how wet you were, you knew mark would call it out once he got to that point.

“yes daddy” you squeeze your eyes shut.

“good girl”

“now p-please fuck m-me” you bite your lip harshly and throw your head back when you feel his boner brush against your pussy.

“your wish is my command, baby girl”

[bxllafanficc]

Lady of mischief- Part four

Pairing: Loki x Greek!goddess f!reader

Summary: Asgard is having a change of power so there are several events Loki has to get right before he can announce victory against his brother as the next king. But one lady’s approval will change the whole outcome if the stakes are right. That lady is you, intended heir to the throne of Olympus but tied down to a marriage of convenience with one of the princes of Asgard. The prince you choose to marry will be the next king but you refuse to let yourself be a pawn in this game for power. Loki, with his intentions to take you as his queen has far greater reason to marry you than just for the reason of being king. You however, would rather cut off your left arm than exposing yourself for the fact that there’s another purpose besides Loki getting a throne to sit on.

The palace halls were crowded with workers and even aristocrats from far away staying in the palace’s guest areas. People from high ranking families and servants alike came our from their rooms. The chatting wasn’t quiet enough for you not to hear but the context was obvious. Everyone wondered why Asgard was suddenly shaking, why the ground beneath their feat suddenly became an object of death instead of the concrete safety it’s always been. The poor Asgardians had probably never experienced an earthquake before. Or a god loosing their cool and taking it out on the nature either.

Despite people making the halls hard to get past, everyone stepped aside for the prowling embodiment of fury: you, on your way to confront the man who started the nightmare.

You truly tried to make the waking earthquake to stop. It wasn’t at full force yet since you were still somewhat grounded. But every time you would try to strap the source of its boiling anger, a maid you walked past would mention prince Loki’s wellbeing and the emotions would burst off the lid again.

And you knew that you’d never make this decision in a calm collected state. After all, this was what he wanted. You’d play into his hands if you didn’t act careful.

You pounded on the wooden door and secretly hoped it would break a hole from the impact. The door stood unaffected.

“What’s the matter?” The mumble was faint and came after a brief paus.

You gave the door one last punch and regretted it immediately. How would confronting him affect the earthquake? We’re you being selfish for potentially putting the Asgardians in danger?

You were just about to turn around and leave but the door swung open with a stale-eyed Loki at the other end.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing to my poor door?”

Couldn’t he at least act like he was surprised to see you? At least give you that much satisfaction?

You crossed your arms tightly above your chest and forced yourself to stare him right in the eyes. The thought of making him stand accountable for his actions was the only thing not making the shaking worse.

“Are you the reason behind me falling every 3 seconds? The waves are especially strong here, did you know that?” You actually didn’t know about that, which only showed just how little control you had over yourself.

“Would you care to elaborate exactly what was your plan tonight? Making me look like your pretty little pawn all dolled up in that dress or locking me up here, tied to your leash for all eternity?” You tried your best to hide the emotion in your words but ended up just spitting them through your teeth instead.

He looked genuinely clueless with his furrowed eyebrows. At least he gave you that. Wrong timing though. His hand traveled up the frame of the door as a way of stealing himself for the shaking. If you lost just a little more control, he’d either fall on his rear or right over you, taking you down with him.

You stood unaffected by the shaking, however.

“What are you talking about? Why would I want to lock you up?” He raised a pointed finger at you.

You had to scoff. How could he pretend not to know when it was so obvious?

“You going off earlier to whine to my uncle wasn’t you manipulating him into getting what you wanted?”

The finger fell slightly and he formed a faint ‘oh’ with his lips. But his expression was still curious. Was he offended?

“Yes but, what does that have to do with you being ‘locked up’?”

“You don’t know?” The shaking seemed to intensify and it caught you off guard.

“If you’ll enlighten me, I’ll answer that for you when I know what we are talking about”, he said as he almost fell forwards with a soft yelp. Your noses touched just as he got a hold of the doorframe, your cheeks brushing against each other as he slumped forwards in relief. It was only a second of him being so close but you felt frozen in the moment.

“And would you stop doing that?!” He motion at the ground and the shaking actually faltered. Not because he told you to stop, but because you weren’t furious anymore. The anger seemed to have vanquished and you were too caught up in his closeness to ask yourself why.

Finally Loki seemed to realize how close you actually were and pulled away. His hair tickled your neck just like they’d done earlier.

“I’m sorry for…” He tapped his nose and cheek with a soft hand. “I know you… that you, yeah.”

Find it disgusting? ‘Despise’ his touch? But you never really meant it, though. Back then he laughed it off but now it seemed like he took your words with him ever since. It kind of made your stomach twist in guilt. Or hunger. You couldn’t tell. When was the last time you’d eaten? Wine didn’t count, that much you knew.

“(Y/n)?”

Why were you here, again? Right.

“Right… Zeus banished me from entering Olympus.” You just said it bluntly because there was actually something else you’d rather said. You lacked the guts though.

“What? Why? Does my father know about this?” His eyes turned round as if it was really bad news for him. The reaction you’d expected was nothing like what you actually got.

“I don’t know about that. But I’m forced to stay with you and Thor until… Until I’ve made up my mind.” Your arms fell flat to your sides since you were no longer angry. Back was the collected you. But you couldn’t quite remember the events leading up to you calming down.

“Haven’t you made up your mind since long ago though? And that’s not for all eternity- wait nevermind, I get it.” His expression faltered to match yours and you started looking around. At the furniture, at the walls… Without the anger giving you strength, you could no longer look him in the eyes for too long.

Lastly you peeked beside his broad frame and into his room only to find it absolutely destroyed. Chairs and what you assumed must’ve been his working desk were broken into tiny pieces across the floor along with shattered porcelain figures of different sorts. The drapes were halfway ripped off the window and stuffing from the bedsheets were still visibly dusting the air.

Loki must have seen you noticing the mess because he let out a muffled sound and moved in front of your vision.

Now forced to look at him, you saw that his hair was tangled, clothes messily arranged and his chest rising and falling rather quickly. Was that redness in his eyes as well?

“Loki, are you okay? Have you been cr-“ He immediately cut you off with a dismissive arm and avoided looking at you. The tables had turned so quickly you still had trouble figuring out how to handle the situation.

“Of course not! Now it’s time for you to go. It’s bad for your highness’ skin to be awake for this long.”

‘Your highness’?

He was already midway at closing the door when your hand snaked between and caught it. You could see him getting ready to put distance between himself and the door through the small gap you had left.

“Is there something that- is everything alright?” You didn’t really know why you were now chasing his attention like that. Didn’t you want him to stay away from you? To avoid and feel nothing but hostility from you?

Loki only wasted one second to look at you before he sighed and untangled your fingers from his door. The skin-to-skin contact was warm. Not at all despicable as you’d told him. Damn your mouth sometimes.

“Yes. Everything’s just fine. Good night, my lady.” And so you were facing a closed door. You were thinking about knocking again but somehow knew that door wouldn’t open anytime soon. You’d heard of past experiences where the prince would lock himself up in his room for days just so nobody would see just a tad of vulnerability from him.

Had you just made the maid’s work harder? You thought about how you would have to apologize later if that was the case. Maybe apologize to the entire population of Asgard for causing the ground to shake while you were at it. If you were to stay here for all eternity, you might as well make some friends. Because it would most likely be forever. Either you were trapped refusing to marry one or the brothers or trapped by the crown that would be on your head if you did end up choosing one.

The walk back to your room was quick since it wasn’t too far from the prince’s. Henna greeted you at the door and brought you inside to discuss the matter that caused your outbreak.

“So prince Loki’s room was like a scene out of a war? I heard from the maids here that outbursts like that has only occurred a few times before but the prince would always cover it up with illusion magic immediately. He’d ignore it for as long as he could until sooner or later when the servants tripped over the mess and couldn’t see the reason for them bruising an arm or knee.”

He’d cover up the destruction? Why hadn’t he done it earlier? Maybe you caught him off guard mid-rampage. And so he was to distracted to conjure the spell.

Henna had been talking nonstop ever since you came back. She insisted on babying you tonight and currently brushing your hair before bed, she had all the time in the world to talk.

“Henna?” You stared into your own reflection in the mirror and found only tired eyes met you at the other end.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Do you know if it’s usual for the prince to cry?” Henna put down the brush and went to grab your nightgown with an almost skipping walk. Why were she in such a light mood tonight? Right. Everyone had a great time at the banquet, except for you and, you assumed, Loki as well. You should be asking Henna if she danced with some handsome youngster tonight instead of hearing about gossip about the second born prince. You should mind your business. Loki was fine, as he said.

But Loki is a known liar.

“No, I don’t think so? There would definitely have been servants talking about that if it ever happened since prince Loki isn’t very popular with the maids. Why do you ask?”

If that was the case, then you were probably just imagining it. His eyes could be red out of straining the veins in his face from destroying all that furniture too. And after all, prince Loki’s wellbeing wasn’t your concern.

But you couldn’t help but wonder why he suddenly started addressing you so formally just as he wanted to get away from you, since he never usually kept up the formalities in private.

(A/N: Hi! Don’t hesitate to comment on each chapter what you thought about it/if you liked it since that keeps me motivated to keep writing. Also reblog so my story reaches a wider audience, if you really liked it! Your support is much appreciated. Also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series. Have a good day, lovelies!)

Find the other parts in my MASTERLIST

Tag list: @liffydaze @queen-of-mischief @sidepartskinnyjeans @girl-obsessed-with-things @obsessivelysearching @reverse-iak

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Sacrifices

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Character death, mentions of blood. Mild trigger warning for thoughts/talks of death (It’s canon typical with the Series Finale, but I wanna add this in there just in case.) 

Author’s Note: Welcome to day 3 of Angst week. This my darlings is the prequel to Temporary Spells. This piece was originally supposed to be posted last year, but as we all know things became chaotic and it was almost impossible to do so. But, it is here now and I am quickly working through my drafts! I’m actually below 20 Items and that doesn’t include the new 2021 requests that I’ve asked for. So I’m making a lot of progress!

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. 

Klaus was ready to take the Hollow within him if it meant that Hope got to live a long life, even if it was without him there with her. Klaus knew that his siblings would be there to protect her and be by her side whenever she needed them. Hope would even have Y/N if she ever needed anything at all.

While Klaus had been dead set on this plan of his, Y/N hated it. She hated every part of this plan and she had made it known several times. But as the clock was ticking down for Hope, Klaus wasn’t going to listen to any of Y/N’s plans. The Hybrid’s thick skull was impenetrable once his mind had been set.

Y/N only had a few more hours before Hope would begin her first transition and the Hollow would be pulled from her. While Klaus believed that this was the only way, Y/N knew there had to be another. And the woman wasn’t going to stop until she had found an answer.

She poured through every book she had. Looking for anything and everything she could get her hands on that had been left behind by her family. Some spells couldn’t hold that kind of magic while others were darker than the Magic the Hollow provided, making it the very last resort. For if Y/N dabbled into the darker forms of magic, she knew she’d be lost to it as well.

However, when her phone rang hours later with Elijah’s phone call, she knew she had been too late. Klaus had taken the Hollow into himself and with the help of Hope he and Elijah had been able to bring Klaus back to New Orleans before he could finish the task of killing himself. While one timer reached its end, there was another one that was beginning it’s countdown.

“There has to be something.” Hope said as she watched Y/N flip through the pages of her grimoire.

“I’m trying as best as I can to find something.” Y/N promised.

Even after Freya had tried convincing Hope that there was no amount of magic in the world that could slow the Hollow from taking over Klaus completely, Y/N refused to give up. She refused to believe that there was nothing else they hadn’t tried. When Hope came in and saw that she hadn’t quit like her Aunt had, Hope could only hang on to the sliver of hope that Y/N would find something.

As Y/N continued to flip through one book, Hope’s eyes looked over at the other opened book on the table. The design of it had been foreign to Hope. Even as she read the words along the page, she was curious about it.

“What is this one?” She asked as she looked up at Y/N.

Y/N looked over at Hope and sighed as she took in the page. “It’s a grieving spell. One that my grandmother had created for my grandfather right before she passed.” Her eyes moved back to the pages in front of her as she continued to explain. “One that would grant the person grieving a chance to see their loved one after they’ve passed. It’s temporary in the terms of once the person has stopped grieving, they stop seeing them.”

Hope’s eyes moved back to the page as she ran her fingers over it. “Why do you have it open to this page?”

“A back up plan.” Y/N said with a nod. “Because if your Aunt is right, I think that spell would be best for you.”

Hope’s eyes watered at that. Her lips had tried their hardest not to tremble. “Let’s hope that it doesn’t get to that point.”

_____

Y/N heard Klaus’s footsteps as he entered the room. He could easily hear as her heart sped up for a single moment before it returned to normal. And as he entered the room, she never once looked up at him. Her eyes were still trained on the pages before her. From what he heard, she hadn’t moved from that spot for over a twenty-four hour period.

“Y/N/N,” He began as he came to a stop just a few feet away from the very bed they had shared.

“Don’t.” She said as she quickly shook her head. “Don’t you dare ask me to stop looking because I am not ready to give up.”

“No one is asking you to.” He said softly as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, careful to not disturb the organized mess that has taken over the top of it. “But we should talk before the night ends.”

“You didn’t want to listen before you left.” She said as she finally tore her eyes away from the book to look over at him. “I asked you-no, begged-for you to let me find a way that didn’t involve us saying goodbye.” Her bottom lip began to tremble. “But you wanted it done your way. And I’m not ready to let you go.”

Klaus quickly took her hands in his as he brought the other one up to rest on her cheek. “We both know there was no other way around this, love. I couldn’t stand by and watch my daughter die from this.”

“I understand, I really do.” And Y/N had. But the thought of Klaus not being around to be with his daughter after all this time of them being a part, Y/N hated the idea. While Hope was her step daughter and Y/N would do anything to keep her safe, Hope needed Klaus more. “But she needs you. She just lost her mother and you are willing to take your own life. How is that fair to her?”

“It isn’t.” Klaus agreed. “But what other choice do we have now?” His eyes moved towards the books before looking back over at her. “We’ve come to the end of this and I have come to terms with what is needed to be done. And I know you will be there for Hope. To care for her and protect her. I couldn’t ask for a better partner to be there for her.”

Y/N bit down on her lip as she tried to blink back the tears that were wanting to spill. She was determined not to break when there was still that thought of hope to keep him from wanting to end his life.

“Would you stop me if I found a way?” She asked cautiously as she looked him in the eye.

A smile pulled at his lips as he took in her words. “If you find something and come swooping in at the last second, I wouldn’t stop you.”

She chuckled at that. “We both know I’m great with timing.”

His hand that rested along her cheek moved down to the side of her neck. “That you are. It is one of the reasons I love you.”

Her eyes watered at his words. “Don’t start saying goodbye.”

“I would never.” He promised. “We both know I’m not particularly fond of emotional goodbyes. I’d rather our last conversation not be filled with words that we say out of sadness.”

“And what would you want our conversation to be?” She asked as her eyes scanned his face. She could see the emotions that were hidden behind his eyes. The ones that he refused to speak of.

As Klaus has stated, he hated emotional goodbyes. He hated the emotions that he’d feel with them or even the hurt that was forced upon the other person. That was something Klaus didn’t want to see on Y/N. He knew his decision hurt her in ways that he’d never be able to fully understand. But for right now, with his time ticking down, he wanted her to be happy.

“How much I love you.” A tug of a smile pulled at his lips. “How much the last several years has meant to me. You kept me sane in my time of need. Especially after visiting Elijah. You managed to make sure I wouldn’t lose myself completely.”

“I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.” She said with a nod. “And that is coming from a witch that promised she wouldn’t get herself involved in vampire business.”

“You just couldn’t resist my charms.” He said with a chuckle that made her laugh in return. “There’s my favorite laugh.”

“It’s usually only you that hears it anyway.” She said with a smile.

“Then I am very lucky, aren’t I?” A bit of a smirk pulled at his lips. “I’ll let you get back to your books.”

Her face fell at that as he began to move away from her. Her chest filled with an emotion that was close to breaking out of her. She couldn’t stop herself from putting the book to the side and following Klaus off the bed until she is standing in front of him.

They looked at each other, words no longer needing to be said between them. They could easily decipher the emotions that were surrounding them. Their eyes held on to each other for only a moment before Klaus closed the distance between them and brought his lips down to hers.

The kiss between them shared everything they had refused to say in that moment. The goodbye that neither of them actually wanted to say. The feelings of fear, love and even the grief that had surrounded them had been conveyed through the kiss. And it wasn’t long before Klaus broke away from her, leaving Y/N completely alone in the room.

_____

Klaus, Y/N, Elijah and Rebekah stood in the streets of the French Quarter. The walk to let Klaus do as he intended had felt the longest. While the others had finally gotten Klaus to agree to a ‘funeral’ as his last few hours, the laughter and fun they had was nothing in comparison to what they felt now.

With a rather quick goodbye for Rebekah and promise of the cure for immortality in the future, Rebekah had left knowing that she couldn’t say goodbye to her brother. Y/N had known, just as the siblings had, that Elijah wanted to take his life with Klaus. It was why he had stayed put instead of leaving as Rebekah had.

Y/N on the other hand knew that this wasn’t going to end as any of them had planned. The time between Klaus leaving her room and the last meal with family, she had found a way around this. She found a way for Klaus to be able to stay with his siblings, with Hope and not have to be the one to sacrifice his life. She had just yet to say anything to anyone.

As Klaus began to walk away from Y/N and Elijah, Elijah moved to take a step after his brother. Y/N reached out and placed her hand on Elijah’s arm, as if to stop him for only a moment. Elijah looked over at Y/N confused by her actions.

“I know your intention is to die with him,” she began. “but it won’t be necessary.”

“This is my decision.” Elijah noted as he took in her words.

“Your death would be pointless seeing as Klaus will not die tonight.” Her words caused Elijah to still for a moment, taking in what she said. “He will not be the one to die tonight. And if your intentions are to go out with him, it will only be you that does.”

Elijah’s eyes quickly moved from her to his brother who had still been walking away from them, unbothered by the conversation they were having. “He can’t hear us.”

She shook her head. “No.” She took a deep breath trying to get her thoughts in order quickly. There wasn’t much time left now. “This evening, I performed a spell unbeknownst to Klaus. One that would tie his death and only the action of his death, with another. He will survive tonight, and Hollow will be gone.”

“If that is true, why not tell him of your plan?” Elijah asked. “Having someone take my brother’s place is a better plan than any.”

“Because in order for someone to take Klaus’s place it needed to be someone that was willing to take his place. No one wants to die, not with that kind of darkness within them. While Klaus is hellbent on taking his own life to ensure Hope’s safety, we both know that girl needs her father in her life.”

As Elijah continued to take in her words, realization formed within him. His eyes searched her face for any proof that he had been wrong. But there was nothing that showed his thoughts had been wrong. And it was as he looked down to where Y/N’s hand had been on his arm, that his thoughts had been proven correct.

Where the dark veins had been climbing up his wrist some time before, they no longer did. For as they moved down, they climbed up Y/N’s wrist. She had been taking the smallest piece of the Hollow that he had within himself.

“A willing participant.” He repeated a moment later. “And what am I to tell my brother when he finds out?”

“I’d be able to tell him.” She said with a nod of her head. “There is a temporary spell put in place that I’d be able to speak with him. To explain my side of things.”

“You should be with him.” Elijah said as his eyes looked over her face, but she had already been shaking her head.

“By the time I got there, it’d be too late.” She explained. Just as she had, she felt blood fall from her nose. Her hand instinctively moved to wipe it. “A human can’t hold that dark magic for long. You should be the one that’s by his side when he finds out. I can already feel the spell working. The hollow is slowly being transferred to me.”

“Y/N,” Elijah began but stopped himself as he watched as her eyes changed from the color he had been so used to seeing turn to a bright blue for only a moment. Once her eyes returned to normal, blood began to spill from the corner of her eyes. “It’s killing you.”

“As planned.” She said with a nod. “Now go, he’s going to need you. Especially after he learns that I did this.”

Elijah only nodded his head before he was gone from her sight. It seemed like only a second had passed before a pain filled her chest. One that told her that Klaus had shoved the white oak stake into his chest.

A cry of pain passed her lips as she fell to the ground. Despite the pain that was filling her body, she felt at peace. Her actions saved not only the man she loved, but saved a child from becoming an orphan. From the moment her eyes landed on the spell, Y/N knew she would go through with it. And as darkness began to take over her senses, she wondered what true peace was like in the afterlife.

The last thing she heard had been the sound of Klaus calling out her name as he tried making his way back to her before the darkness consumed her completely.

Always and Forever Tags:

@taylordrunkonwhiskey @thewolf-and-thesheep @wayward-dan @neeadinghugs @fafulous @kenmen02 @elizamonet @dora-the-grownup @mschellehitt @xanderling @fandom-princess-forevermore @buckysarm4 @hi-my-name-is-riley @helenasingers @alka16555 @hellotvshowtrash @dpaccione @dumble-daddy

Hybrid Tag:

@xxsovereignsarayaxx​

The Originals Tag: 

@zillahvathek @obsessedwithvampires @mikaelson-emma

If you would like to be added to or taken off the taglist, you can do so here!

[lovecanbesostrange]

It started with an ask on konako’s blog, that led to a small scene with Red kneeling before the Evil Queen. (x) That was almost Red Queen fun. But it spun into something very dark, because the Evil Queen did capture Red and torture as punishment followed (this goes into dead-dove territory, you are warned, it’s messed up). Here are 4k words of what happened in the palace dungeon afterwards (spoiler alert, excessive use of silver):

summary: Red made the Evil Queen look foolish and gets utterly destroyed for it (graphic depictions of violence included)

Finally a little triumph. The Evil Queen went down the stairs into the dungeon. Every step of her well-shined heeled boots echoed loudly from the stone steps. Sometimes she wished she had more patience to make good use of the cells down here. But she was bored too easily not getting answers and the prisoners died quickly. Her torturer barely had anything to do. Why did she even pay him anymore? (Did she pay anyone in the palace? They were allowed to live and had nice enough accommodations and food, for sure that was enough.)

But now Regina wanted to take all the time in the world. Her knights had captured that wolf woman! After the bloodbath she had caused weeks ago that made Regina look foolish, she would enjoy their time together now. And it would send Snow White a message in the end.

Two guards were posted outside the cell and two inside. Of course knowing they dealt with a werewolf made handling the prisoner easier. For one the full moon was a couple of nights away. And silver was easy to come by to keep her in line. Regina had also instructed her blacksmith to forge some chains in preparation for when she would be captured. It had been a priority task.

When Regina entered the cell she smiled and took in the sight. Red was chained up in the middle of the room. She was stripped down to her undergarments, her clothes on the floor, except for her cloak that was draped over one of the tables. Her arms were raised above her head, wrists bound by the heavy cuffs each connected to a chain going through a loop in the ceiling and then stretching all the way to a bolt in the wall. Her ankles were cuffed as well, a short heavy chain in between so she couldn’t take any significant steps. Not that she could run away, since her toes barely reached the ground. Red had to carry her weight in her arms, shoulders.

“Well, well, well, so we meet again.” Regina took her time to enter and circled Red, who tried to follow her with her eyes. “You made quite a spectacle the last time.”

“Do you want an apology?” Red’s voice was firm. Too firm for Regina’s taste.

“I don’t think you could muster up an honest one. You’re a deceiver.” Regina stopped in front of her. “Begging for those peasants’ lives and then killing my men.” She grabbed Red’s chin with her thumb and index finger. “You said there was no need for bloodshed and you happily slaid them anyway.”

“I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t tried to take me.”

“As if you thought I would let you walk away from there.” Regina looked closely into those green eyes. Was the bravado real or just posturing? “Don’t get me wrong, the way you killed those men without a second thought was impressive. I can admire that. But the humiliation it would have been to return to the village and enact punishment, admitting to being defeated that day - I can’t let that slide.” She slapped Red across the cheek.

Red closed her eyes and didn’t turn her face back up. She was glad the villagers had been spared. Regina didn’t know how long she had stuck around to make sure there was no retaliation. And whatever was about to follow, would have been worth it. Snow had her plans to strike and they were close to luring the Queen into a trap. But every day more innocent people could die and Red could not sit by. She owed it to the victims of the wolf to use her strength for good now.

She heard Regina take a few steps back and looked again. The cloak was in her hands now. “Do you have any other name or should I just call you Red. Not very original, is it? Naming yourself after a bit of fabric.” Her fingers traced the patterns. “I sense magic in this. But I guess asking about it will not bring me answers, right? Just like any of Snow White’s plans won’t leave your lips.”

Statements. The Evil Queen had made up her mind already, questions weren’t part of whatever this encounter was. Red turned her hands around and tried to get a grip on the chain, change her position the slightest bit to take some strain off of her already burning shoulders.

“Do you know there isn’t much to find in books about your kind?” Regina exchanged the cloak for something else from the table. It reflected a bit of the amber light emitted from the fireplace and Red could see it was a simple dagger. “The one thing that is said over and over though is your weakness towards silver. I’m curious. Is it just the metal or wounds inflicted by it?”

Red already clenched her jaw before Regina put the blade against the skin on her upper arm, preparing to get cut. But instead Regina pressed the flat side on her skin first. Definitely silver. Pure. Red felt the effect in a matter of seconds and bit down, grinding her teeth.

Regina stood close again, caught her eyes with her gaze and kept pressing the blade against the tender side of her arm. “Don’t worry, I will write down everything I’m about to do here, so the books can add a chapter about how to break a wolf when in their human form.” And with that she turned the dagger and cut the skin. Red flinched, more from the shock than the actual pain. It was a relief actually to have the silver leave her.

“Are there noteworthy differences between a cut with this,” Regina lifted the dagger, “and a normal blade?” She gestured towards one of the guards and he immediately unsheathed a dagger from his boot. Without hesitation Regina reproduced the cut on the other arm. The blood almost tickled as it ran down. “Oh no, I’m making a mess. Getting blood out of clothes is such a hassle.”

Regina let one of the daggers fall down and with the other cut along the seams of Red’s top half of what she was left wearing. Red closed her eyes again as she felt air hit her exposed body. She knew which weapon Regina held and she could feel the silver being drawn over her skin, over her collarbone, between her breasts, down to her navel. The point barely left a scratch, but the offending metal felt like being brushed with a nettle. Red took in deep, sharp breaths through her nose.

That reaction was exactly what made Regina go slower with her movements. It wasn’t the sharpness that left the light red mark, no, it appeared the longer she held the blade in place. What an interesting sight to watch. Regina brought her free hand up to Red’s chin again, this time squeezing her jaw with her palm, digging her fingers into her cheek. Red looked at her again.

“You know, the longer you resist, the more adamant I will be to make you scream. That is how these things work.” She brought the dagger up to Red’s forehead, this time with the edge to cut into her skin again. It took a few seconds, but then the blood running over her eyebrows made Red blink.

“Can you hold this for me?” With that she wedged the silver dagger between the torn clothes and Red’s hips. Red squirmed trying to get away, but the blade touched her thigh ever so slightly. “I learned a valuable lesson the other day. A blacksmith works with iron. Like those chains holding you. Not used to working with silver. You would have to ask a silversmith about it. I even found one and he is working on special silver cuffs for me. Or rather, for you.”

Regina stood at the table again, her back to Red. When she turned around she held up a necklace. “So for now, I have to settle for delicate jewelry instead of the collar you deserve.” Under any other circumstance Red would have admired the piece. Obviously the star-shaped ornament was meant to hold a gemstone in place, a diamond or a sapphire, but this was stripped down to the silver components for one purpose only. “So you will get used to a leash later,” was all Regina added as she put it around Red’s neck.

Red held on. Her skin was crawling all over, the itch on her thigh burning already, but she tried to stay as still as possible. She couldn’t do anything against the tears forming in her eyes, betraying her brave face though.

Regina stood before her, brows furrowed. “Your healing isn’t as fast. I will need to wait hours to compare those cuts on your arms. There is something I am forgetting.” She rubbed her temples, feigning to think. “Oh, of course, I need a point of reference!” A clap of her hands alerted the guard. “You, get the girl from next door.” Red’s eyes went wide.

“No. Wait. You don’t need to drag anybody else into this.”

Regina stepped closer and slapped her across the cheek again, harder this time. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion and you will stop being so informal around me!”

“Yes, Your Majesty”, Red quickly gathered herself. “But please, there is no need-” But she already saw a frightened young girl being pushed into the cell. About her height and weight, seemingly healthy. For now. The girl fell to the floor and cowered there.

“I caught her stealing, so normally she would already be dead. But she can be of use for me.” Regina put a hand into her hair and yanked her head up, to make her look at Red. “Or do you want her dead right now?”

The terror Red felt was mirrored on the girl’s face. Was there a chance of survival for her? She was ready to beg for her life; to lie on that table where Regina obviously had more silver tools; to take any punishment herself. “No,” Red whispered. Another yank at the girl’s hair. “No, Your Majesty.”

“A fast learner.” She pushed the girl into a chair with cuffs on the armrests. Seating her in front of Red. The girl trembled and looked to the floor. Red tried to pull at her chains, but it only sent a jolt of pain through her shoulders.

Regina paced the room. After a while she came up behind Red. “Your shoulders must really hurt by now. Let me help you with that.” Her fingers played with the necklace and Red hissed. Shifting it around made the pain more noticeable. “The plate.” She said towards the guards. Behind Red a wooden plate leaned against the wall. A thin metal sheet on one side, coated in silver. She knew that before the guards shoved it under her feet. The wood added a few inches so in theory this took some of the weight off her shoulders, but the soles of her feet would soon itch, turn red, swell, hurt and most likely blister. She tried to balance on the outside of her feet only, to not hurt everywhere all at once.

“Do you know what the second thing is that some texts suggest to use against a werewolf?” Silence. “Oh, that was a genuine question directed at you. Do you know?”

“Fire.” Red answered between breaths. Her mouth was open now, it was dry. She didn’t dare to fully fill her lungs, because that made the necklace move. The attack on multiple parts of her body with the silver was starting to overwhelm her.

“That is correct. You know your weaknesses it seems.” Regina conjured a fireball in her hand. “Fire is pure. It doesn’t discriminate. It can be very elegant.” She stepped closer to Red, hand outstretched so she could feel the heat of the flame. “How fast can you heal a burn wound?”

“I don’t k-” Red couldn’t finish that sentence, because Regina held her hand to her side now. A scream was all that escaped her lips. The fireball wasn’t cast, but the flame burned her flesh. Red clenched her fists and tried to step away, the chains around her ankles making a screeching sound dragging over the silver plate. There was no escape, because Regina just followed with her hand. She closed her hand and the fireball vanished. Red went slack, her breathing sped up. The only good thing was that in this commotion, the dagger had gotten loose and fallen to the floor.

Red sorted out her senses, trying to gather her bearings, when she heard the girl scream. Louder, more fearful, indicating the horrible pain she never felt before. Regina had torn her clothes and burned her at the exact same place on her body. For reference. Red couldn’t put the horror of it into words. Would it indeed be better for the girl if she was dead already? She didn’t even know her name.

And Red didn’t learn her name over the next few days, because whatever happened, she would not talk to her. Regina had strictly forbidden it and the rotating guards would hit her at a single word. It was almost comical. Red’s body went numb. Cuts, rashes, bruises, welts, burns, scratches. It came and went. The pain was a constant throbbing, she got repositioned a few times, but it felt like she would never use her arms on her own accord again. But whatever happened to her, the girl looked worse. Red did heal faster from any wound not dealt with silver. But it did take a lot from her regardless. She lost track of time. What was sleep? Any kind of shame about being naked had vanished. Instead of clothes her body was covered in forming scars, marks and blemishes.

Red tried to count the rotations of the guards, to get any kind of feeling for the passing days. It was only days, right? It felt like forever. Silver on her skin somewhere at all times, lashes from a whip, getting burned with a torch, red hot iron, and so many cuts to make her bleed. The worst still a long deep wound on her right cheek, starting at her ear right to the corner of her mouth. When they allowed her some water, it even hurt to swallow.

Later Red found out it had been five days in total. It seemed like a small window of time. But the Evil Queen lived up to her name. Especially on day four, when she left permanent damage. While Red was mostly kept standing up, the girl was strapped to the chair. Not that she had any energy left to walk out of here, even if they’d opened the door for her. Regina stood behind her and pulled her head back.

“Just look at me, I’m sure this won’t hurt you.”

Red looked on as Regina dripped liquid into one of her eyes. The girl flinched, but that was a reflex. None of her sounds of discomfort or pain left her throat. That made Red more nervous than she would admit. And she was right to be.

“Just as I thought. Look at that, barely irritated.” She pushed the girl’s head forward, her eye teared up, maybe a bit reddened.

Regina walked around her and caught Red’s gaze. “Such beautiful green eyes. Quiet unusual. Of course not as remarkable as the wolfish gold, is it?” The way she kept staring was unnerving and Red’s breathing already picked up. Fear. In a short amount of time she had learned what fear truly was.

“Hold her steady.” A guard came and grabbed Red’s head from behind. Panic sunk in and she started to squirm, tried to turn her face away, to wiggle out of his grip. She wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but she knew she wanted out. Right now. No more pain, she couldn’t take anymore. But she had to.

Regina got a few drops out of the vile, into Red’s right eye. “Don’t worry, it’s mostly water. Just a tiny bit of silver dust mixed into it.”

Red pushed her body back as hard as she could, but her mangled feet had no grip, it was more like leaning into the guy. No force to get him off. And then the pain started. It felt like a needle prick. And all of a sudden the colors exploded in Red’s sight. Everything was sharper, the light from the fireplace brighter. She knew her eyes turned golden like before she would transform. It had happened a few times, when highly agitated. Now it was a physical response.

Regina laughed. “I did not expect that.” She met Red’s terror with fascination. More needle pricks in her eye, the urge to rub it away. Red pulled at her chains, she wanted to press the palm of her hand against her eye and get the irritating feeling out. But there was no chance. All Regina saw was the golden color and Red gasping for air, holding back a scream. The hitched breathing was a good enough tell that this hurt.

Worse than the pain that kept sinking in was the way Red started to see white dots, blind specks in her vision. Three, four, five, more and more. She blinked, her tearducts fighting off the intrusion, but the silver too strong an opponent. Red clenched her jaw and groaned. She let out a growl from deep within, filled with frustration and pain. It was more of a bellow than a scream. Regina smiled at that.

While Red’s left eye got back to its human green, the right eye stayed golden, a misty layer clouding the bright hue. It drew Regina’s full attention, while it would be weeks for Red to discover the permanent change. Blinded, only noting a change between light and darkness. Her eyeball feeling like it was rubbed with sandpaper made the rest of the day seem like nothing. Time moved on

And then unthinkable happened. The chains were loosened completely, the cuffs came off. Red tried to curl up on the floor, but she could barely move her joints. Everything hurt too much. But Regina laughed. “Remember that I said I will make you beg for more than mercy? How about you ask me to end her suffering?”

Red looked up. Trying to adjust to the impaired vision. As bad as she felt, the girl looked worse. “Please…”, the girl said and the guard standing behind her, hit her against the head immediately.

It took everything Red had to turn herself upright, to bend her knees and sit on them. To kneel before Regina again. No side eye, no hint of a smirk, no failsafe. The burn marks hurt worst next to the chafed skin around her neck from the necklace that was also gone now. “Your…” Red was shaking, she had to cough trying to speak. “Please, Your Majesty. End her suffering. I beg you. Please. It’s enough… enough…” And with that she fell down again.

“Pathetic.” Regina’s verdict was cold as ice. “And to think I had a gift for you just now. Guards.” They stood next to Red and pulled her to her knees again, held her up. Regina leaned towards her. “My silversmith has arrived.” She produced a silver object and only when the lock clicked around her neck did Red realize this was the collar she had talked about. She felt the burn on her throat and winced. It was a sound she was used to producing by now.

“So?”

“Please… Your Majesty…” Red was panting, she could not finish the plea.

Regina rolled her eyes. “If this is the best you can do, so be it. Ending the suffering now.” And with that her hand shot straight into Red’s chest and pulled out her heart. “Kill her. Rip her throat out like you always do.”

Red wanted to scream. She wanted to jump the Evil Queen. To tear up the men holding her. But what she wanted was irrelevant all of a sudden. The will to do it was overwritten. She looked at the girl, defeated, not even surprised. While Red’s mind fully woke up for the first time in days, all her muscles reacted to something else. The pain all over her body was terrible, but every second she didn’t comply was even more agony.

Red crawled more than she walked to get to the chair. She hovered over her nameless victim, tried to hold back, but those terror-stricken eyes met hers. “Make it quick, please.” Oh, if only she could turn into a wolf, those sharp teeth would take less than a second. Regina had specified how this girl was supposed to die and Red could not opt to cut her throat with a knife, she sunk her still very human teeth into it. The larynx, so easy to wrap fangs around, was hard, the skin and flesh thick. The scream the girl let out was only short, because the pressure suffocated her. It was impossible to make this quick-

Finally Red tasted blood. Tears ran down her face, but she could not stop herself from this horrible act. This slow, agonizing, inhumane death of a nameless chamber maid, who probably hadn’t even stolen a thing. Someone at the wrong place, at the wrong time, who had suffered for days for cruel experiments with no merit. One more victim added to Red’s tally. Not for good. Not in battle. Not in defense. Needless cruelty.

When the girl’s heart stopped, Red finally could let go. She sank on all fours, spat out what she could of the blood and wailed. Her own heart wasn’t even in her chest, but it had never felt heavier.

“Get the smith down here now, he knows what to do.” Regina sent one guard away. Red looked up, warm blood dripping from her chin, she could feel it. Disgusting. If she had any strength left, this would be the time to strike. But all Regina needed to do was a little squeeze. Her heart hurt. No, Red was helpless. Any thought of fighting back an illusion.

“I think it’s best that you lie down on the table for this next part.”

Red wanted to put her head under a guillotine right now. To kill like that was worse than any of the torture methods the Evil Queen had come up with. Regina had won. But Red couldn’t do anything but comply and lied down, waiting for her fate.

It came in the form of a small white haired man, holding a sort of chalice with a long tongue. His hands were shaking and Red couldn’t tell if it was because of what he was doing or just being in Regina’s presence. She couldn’t make sense of what was happening. A guard came and put her wrists into the handcuffs again, strapping her to the table. A chain going over her thighs and under the table fixated her.

Regina squatted down next to her, stroking her hair. “Feel free to scream for me now.”

“The mold.” Wood was pressed against her back. “Careful with your fingers there, wouldn’t want to burn you.”

And then everything was fire. The scream from Red’s throat surprised Regina enough that she stood up. Loud, agonizing, on the brink of collapse. What looked like a chalice was a melting pot, containing a few grams of molten silver. It was poured on Red’s skin and burned her instantly, severely. Water followed mere seconds later to turn the liquid back to solid, but the damage was done. A silver ring fused into her flesh. The pain and the sensory overload from heat to cold send her into shock. She was still screaming with the taste of warm blood in her mouth when the faint claimed her.

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter one

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca sees her again in the most unexpected place.

rating: M (drug abuse, mention of sexual abuse in later chapters) word count: 2,100

ao3 link

*

“Any messages, Gina?”

Beca Mitchell strode out of the elevator, high heels clicking on marble flooring on her way to her office.

Her assistant rushed to walk alongside her, notebook opened as she handed Beca her second coffee of the day, which Beca took with an appreciative smile.

“Mr. Mendes needs to push back his meeting to Thursday, and Mr. Hozier-Byrne is waiting for a call back, preferably before 2 as he’s five hours ahead.”

Beca rounded the corner to her office and dragged her leather desk chair back, shrugging off her woolen trench coat and draping it over the back. “Got it, remind me what I have planned today?”

“You’re having lunch with Mr. Zimmer at the Plaza to discuss Jesse’s project, and apart from the weekly team meeting at five, you’re expected at Edgy Reggie’s party from 10 pm at the Sapphire.”

A groan surfaced from Beca’s throat and her eyes slammed shut as she plopped down on her chair. “I forgot about that. Luke can’t go?”

Gina winced and shook her head. “Family dinner.”

“Family dinner, my ass. His whole family lives back in fucking England,” Beca muttered before she could help it, throwing her assistant an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Thanks, Gina. Hold my calls until ten, please?”

“Of course, Ms. Mitchell.”

As she did every morning while sipping her coffee, Beca listened to demos over the next hour, forwarding them to Luke if any of those yet-unknown artists spiked her interest enough to sign them into their label.

The rest of the day consisted of two meetings, a dozen calls, countless email exchanges, and not enough studio time. A thick blanket of darkness had veiled the city by the time she closed her laptop and called it a day. She stretched her neck and took a moment to gaze at the lit skyscrapers through her floor to ceiling windows, sighing softly.

It was sometimes weird to think about how this was her life. How the asocial, grumpy freshman from thirteen years ago had made it to the top of the music business and now co-owned one of the biggest labels throughout the country.

Scratch that, throughout the  world.  

Snapping out of her daze, Beca stood and slipped on her coat, plucking her phone off the desk to call herself a Lyft home. She had just about time to take a shower and eat dinner before heading to that stupid party.

*

Beca could think of a million things she’d rather be doing right now as she strode down the wet sidewalk towards the lit  GIRLS  red neon sign in the distance a couple of hours later.

She told herself one drink, an hour tops, then she could head home, put on her pajamas, and finish that true-crime TV show she started yesterday.

“Name?” A dude bulkier than the freaking Rock asked her as she made it to the club door.

“Um, Beca Mitchell. I’m Edgy Reggie’s producer.”

Her artist had privatized a strip-club for his celebration party over his album hitting Platinum, and Beca couldn’t  not  show up, as... well, he was an important client and brought her label the big bucks.

The guy checked his clipboard and nodded, hitching his thumb over his shoulder. “You’re good to go.”

Casting the bouncer a nod, Beca ducked inside the dimmed, crowded club, wincing at the crappy music heavily pumping through the speakers. Three girls in bikinis and heels stood on platforms, twisting their bodies around dancing poles as dozens of dudes reclined back in leather sofas, shamelessly ogling their forms.

Beca’s nose crinkled as she scanned the room for her artist.

“Yo, Beca!”

Her gaze snapped to the left corner, catching sight of Edgy Reggie (he didn’t want to change his stage name, no matter how much Beca insisted) waving her over.

“Hey,” she cast him a tight-lipped smile, tucking her straight hair behind her ears. She nodded at the other dudes sitting around the low table. “What’s up.”

“Guys, this is the girl behind the magic of my album,” Edgy Reggie explained, throwing an arm over her shoulders before Beca could squirm away. “She is  fire. ”

Beca chuckled awkwardly, then pointed over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go get myself a drink.”

Maybe two come to think of it, so she could get herself through this.

She headed to the bar and ordered an old-fashioned, fishing in the inside of her coat pocket for her credit card.

“Thanks,” she muttered when the barmaid (also clad in a bikini that left very little to the imagination) came back with her drink, handing her her card just as the club’s speaker made an announcement.

“Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome to the stage…  Ariel! ”

The crowd cheered and hooted, Beca glancing over her shoulder to see what all the fuss was about.

There was no amount of alcohol that could have prepared her for the scene unfolding before her.

There, on the main stage, strutted in a redhead, only wearing a silver g-string and high heels. Beca would have recognized that shade of hair anywhere, and while the lighting in the club was low, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this girl -- Ariel -- was her former best friend.

Her former best friend who had dropped from the face of the Earth almost five years ago, without so much as an explanation. She hadn’t just stopped talking to Beca, but to all of them, even Aubrey. She was nowhere to be found on social media and when Beca had tried calling her after six months without news, she found out Chloe’s phone number had been disconnected. It wasn’t like they talked on a daily basis before that. After three years spent living on opposite sides of the country, the texts started coming further in between, their communication coming down to a few check-ins a year and on birthdays, until they eventually stopped.

Fearing the worst, Aubrey had called Chloe’s parents, who assured her she was fine, working as a vet in NYC and in a committed relationship. While relieved, the news stung Beca, as it was clear Chloe had deliberately ceased contact.

It took some time, but Beca eventually stopped thinking about her so much, especially when she started getting successful as a music producer and pouring her time and energy into her projects. She soon won her first Grammys, Gold, and Platinum records featured in notorious magazines and talk shows. She could stop working tomorrow and money wouldn’t become an issue, but Beca didn’t like to boast about her fortune, or fame, for that matter.

Despite being insanely busy, she still kept in touch with the other Bellas in their group chat, but she hadn’t seen any of them in a couple of years, missing the last reunion because of her job.

Beca’s mind steered back to the present, where the once most important person in her life was currently dancing for money. Men were staring hungrily at her as she sensually moved around the pole or bent over with her ass in the air to collect dollar bills from the floor, and Beca suddenly felt sick.

This couldn’t be her dream job, right? Something  had  to have happened for her to settle for this.

Beca grabbed her drink and knocked it back, flagging the barmaid down for another as her mind reeled as to what to do.

She needed to talk to Chloe. In private. Tonight, as soon as she finished… parading in front of these disgusting fuckboys. Only… she wasn’t sure Chloe wanted to talk to her.

“Hey,” she said when the barmaid came back as an idea struck. “How do I get a private lap dance with one of the girls?”

The girl raised a surprised eyebrow. “Backroom, hun. Who do you want?”

“Ariel.”

The platinum blonde let out a curt laugh. “Ariel doesn’t do lap dances, babe.”

Beca’s eyebrows knitted together in a heavy frown. “Why not?”

“Because she’s the boss’ favorite.”

Beca didn’t know what that meant exactly, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out as another wave of nausea swept over her insides. “Is your boss here tonight?”

The barmaid scanned the room quickly, nodding. “He’s the guy over there in the suit.”

“Thanks.” She took her drink and headed over to where the fifty-something dude was talking to another guy. Stepping up to them, she ignored their glares over her interrupting their conversation. “Hey. Are you the manager?”

The dude who looked like he ran a mafia mob turned a bit more towards her. “What’s this about?”

“How much for a private dance with Ariel?”

His gaze flickered over Beca’s shoulder towards the stage, then sized Beca up, unimpressed. “She’s not available, kid.”

Beca gritted her teeth at the condescending tone of his voice. “Not even for ten grand for twenty minutes?”

He slow-blinked, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m being serious. Ten grand, twenty minutes. Alone in a room, just the two of us.”

The man’s expression hardened. “And I said she’s not  available .”

“Twenty grand.” Hell, she’d throw half a million on the table if that’s what was needed to talk to Chloe. After a beat, she added, “And no touching. That’s not what I’m here for.”

The manager seemed to consider her offer for a handful of seconds. “You got the money?”

Dammit.  She couldn’t withdraw that much right now, she needed to call her bank. “Tomorrow night.”

He smirked, snickering. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He turned back to his buddy, leaving Beca grumbling under her breath as she turned around and stalked out of the club. She couldn’t stay. She couldn’t stand the sight of Chloe objectifying her body for money.

As soon as she got home, Beca fired up her computer and typed in Chloe’s name in her browser. Apart from old stuff on the Bellas, she found nothing relevant. Chloe appeared to still be MIA from any social media.

Beca grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, bringing the device to her ear.

“What’s wrong?”  

“How do you know something’s wrong?”

“We call each other twice a year on our respective birthdays and stick to the Bellas chat for the rest.”  

Beca nibbled on her bottom lip. “I found Chloe.”

A long stretch of silence on the other end of the line followed.  “What?”  

“I saw her tonight, Aubrey.”

“Where??”

“At a strip club. She’s… a stripper.”

“What? Did you talk to her?”  

“No. She was performing on stage. But I will. I’m… buying a lap dance from her tomorrow. I figured… she’ll have to listen to me since she’s being paid for it.” Her eyes slammed shut, scrunching up her nose. “I don’t know. It might be a bad idea, but-- I just wanna make sure she’s okay, you know?”

“Yes, of course. Keep me posted?”  

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

Beca shuffled to bed after that, but sleep never came. Her mind kept reeling about Chloe, about what she might say to her once they were face to face, and the possibility that Chloe might shoot her down and refuse to talk to her.

She spent her Saturday trying and failing to make some progress on an ongoing project, willing time to tick faster so she could head back to the club. Mid-afternoon, she headed to the bank to withdraw twenty grand, tucking the envelope in her purse.

“Why does it feel like you’re doing something illegal, Beca?” She muttered to herself on her way out of the bank, slightly paranoid about carrying so much cash on her.

The club was just as crowded when she got there around 10 pm. A different girl danced on the main stage and the manager was nowhere in sight, so Beca perched herself on a stool at the bar, ordering herself another old-fashioned.

“Is your boss around?” She asked the barmaid, a different girl from last night.

“Who’s asking?”

“Tell him the person who wants Ariel is here.”

The girl’s eyebrows shot up at that but she didn’t say anything, nodding before strutting away. Beca sipped at her drink for the next twenty minutes, keeping her back to the stage.

The manager eventually appeared in her peripheral, and he leaned an elbow over the counter, lacing his fingers. “So what’s so special about Ariel?”

Beca slowly set her drink down and fished for the envelope, pushing it towards him while keeping her gaze straight ahead. “I like redheads.”

He plucked the envelope off the counter and peered inside. Twenty stacks of ten hundred dollar bills in exchange for twenty minutes with Chloe.

He nodded. “Follow me.”

Beca finished the rest of her drink, the alcohol managing to muffle her nerves some as she followed the manager towards the back of the club, and down a set of stairs. Her heart pumped hard in her ears and her palms started to sweat as she was led inside a dimly lit room with a handful of sofa chairs and a small stage with a dancing pole, some kind of music that seemed straight out of a porno carrying through the speakers. A spiral staircase was tucked in the right corner, and she guessed that is where the strippers made their entrance from.

Beca wondered how far things usually went in these kinds of private rooms.

She wondered how far  Chloe  went.

She cast the guy a tight-lipped smile and a nod before he closed the door, and paced the room for a little while, eventually lowering herself on one of the leather chairs and wiping her palms on her designer slacks.

The clicking of heels over metal made Beca’s spine snap straighter. She resisted the urge to look over her shoulder as the steps grew nearer, digging her nails into her thighs as a new round of nerves gripped her insides.

“Good evening, sweetheart,” the huskiness of Chloe’s voice made Beca swallow, and she felt a hand run over her shoulders as Chloe approached from behind.

Glancing up, Beca met familiar, ocean blues.

[official-weasley]

Meant to Be (Charlie Weasley x OC)

What happens when Bill brings home a girl and Charlie is completely awestruck by her?

WARNINGS: curse words, angst

Chapter 10

Charlie

My feet were glued to the ground, unable to move. The second I heard her say my name I knew this was a mistake. Why did I listen to those idiots? And what was I thinking about coming here without a plan? What am I supposed to say why I came to see her? To profess my love to her?

I can’t.

Even if my friends were right and she does feel the same way. I still feel too guilty to do anything about it. I have to talk to Bill first. I have to go and see him and I have to confess what I’ve done. If I make it out of there alive, then perhaps I’ll think about it. It depends on how he’ll feel about the whole situation.

The worst part was that due to us not talking and Rhylee not mentioning anything, I had no idea if he ever got around to asking her out or if they were together. I would know if they were, right? But then again, Rhylee was very private about her life in England and Bill hasn’t written to me for far longer than I would like to admit. The only thing I knew is that he was in the Order like I was and that he has taken a desk job at Gringotts, leaving everything behind in Egypt.

The fact that I admired him for it was an understatement. He gave up his job to be closer to home, to help out with the Order as much as he could and what was I doing? Feeling sorry for myself and beating my head over the fact that I am drifting further away from my family every single day.

Bill was the better man, he always was. That’s why I need to talk to him before I do anything else. It’s time to man up, Charlie, and own up to your fucking mistakes.

“Good evening.” I said, grinning like an idiot.

“What are you doing here, Charlie?” She looked exhausted.

We have been pretty busy working on the case but I know she loved every minute of that and I had a hunch that something else was wrong. Her eyes were puffy and she had a handkerchief in her hand. Was she crying?

“The guys missed drinking with you so I came to see if everything’s okay.” It terrified me how good of a liar I was becoming.

“I’m fine. Just…tired.” She tried desperately to hide the handkerchief behind her back.

She smiled weakly and invited me inside.

“Can I make you some tea?” She asked softly.

“That would be great.” Merlin’s beard did I want to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t want to intrude on her privacy.

If it was about the trial or the dragon she would’ve told me by now.

I sat on the sofa cross-legged and leaned on the side of it, observing her making the tea. My eyes were scanning her body, every inch of it imprinting on my brain. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt and pajama shorts and for some reason woolen socks even though it was the middle of May.

Damn, it irritates me that I can’t find the words to describe how beautiful she is. Extraordinary would come close. She was so graceful moving around her small kitchen, even though she wasn’t radiating her usual confidence.

“Here you go.” Her voice brought me back to reality.

“Thanks.” I murmured.

She sat down next to me, one of her legs over my crossed one. Why did she have to be so affectionate and why did I have to overthink it every time?

“You know what I never asked you?” She said, her eyes on her cup.

I simply hummed to make her continue.

“How do you like Fleur?” She blew on her tea.

“Fleur?” I repeated the name.

Who in the bloody hell is Fleur?

“Bill’s girlfriend?” She chuckled upon seeing my surprised reaction.

Bill’s girlfriend? Bill has a girlfriend?

I don’t know what hurt more. The fact that I didn’t know, that he didn’t tell me or that she knew and I didn’t.

“You don’t know?” Regret of telling me formed on her face.

“Emm…” I swallowed hard. How am I supposed to tell her that Bill and I haven’t seen each other since the Christmas I met her? “Bill and I had a bit of a fallout.” Saying that out loud felt like someone pierced my chest with an arrow.

“Oh.” She put her hand over her mouth.

I could see it in her eyes that she wanted to know more but didn’t dare to ask. She knew Bill was my best friend and I hated that she felt sorry for me. I don’t deserve it.

“I thought you were dating Bill.” If I was going to talk to him, I have to get as much information as possible.

Did he ever talk to her like he planned? Did he ever tell her how he felt about her?

“Me and Bill?” She bowed her head. “No. Nothing ever happened between us.” She said, shaking her head.

I felt like a piece of shit. This was because of me, wasn’t it? Because of the mistake, I’ve made.

“He did ask me out.” I could barely understand her words as she mumbled into her cup. “But I said no.” Her voice broke.

“Please tell me that you didn’t do it because we…”

“And what if I did?” She interrupted me.

Rhylee, don’t say stuff like this to me. You know I won’t be able to resist kissing you.

“I said no because I meant it when I told you I only see him as a friend. I always did. I didn’t lie to you and I didn’t lie to him.” She quickly continued when she saw my eyes widen. “And also because,” she swallowed thickly, “because of what happened between us.”

Silence fell upon us as neither of us said anything. She was waiting for me to reply and I didn’t know what to say back. This didn’t make me feel good. I was proud of Bill for gathering the courage and asking her out and I felt sorry for him at the same time because she turned him down. I should’ve been there for him when that happened. I can’t imagine how he had to feel.

“Charlie, listen…” With her head still down, she leaned closer to me.

Rhylee, what are you doing?!

“If you don’t know about Fleur and that Bill asked me out…” Her voice broke again.

What was she not telling me?

“I think I’m the reason Bill stopped talking to you.” A single tear ran down her right cheek but she quickly brushed it away as if I couldn’t see it. “When he asked me out and I said no, I panicked. I knew I hurt his feelings and it pained me to do so because he’s such a sweetheart. I didn’t know what I was saying. I was trying to find excuses why I couldn’t be with him and…”

Oh, please tell me this isn’t going where I think it’s going.

“Rhy, what did you do?” I whispered.

I didn’t have the strength to be louder, my heart beating hard against my chest.

“I told him we slept together.” She pushed away from me and buried her face in her hands. “I’m so sorry, Charlie. I…I know it wasn’t my place to tell and I probably ruined your relationship and I know how close you two were and you have to know…” She sobbed. “You have to know I didn’t want to come between you. I didn’t and I am so so sorry.”

Without thinking twice about it I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight against my body while she muffled her crying with her head in my shoulder.

Everything made sense now. It was crystal clear why Bill wasn’t talking to me. I knew he had to know about us since his letters became rarer and rarer but I didn’t want to believe it.

It might be tearing me apart and I might feel guilty but I would bear all the pain in the world if it meant for him to be happy. I was never the person to hurt anyone, let alone my family, my brother.

“Shh…” I was searching for words while stroking her hair. I had to say something, this was clearly on her consciousness for a long time. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you. He would’ve found out sooner or later.”

She nodded her head and I could feel her body relaxing in my arms.

“The whole thing’s my fault and I know I’m a horrible brother for letting it get this far.” I inhaled sharply. “I’m planning on taking a few days off to go and see him.” I explained. “I want my brother back.” I whispered more to myself than to her.

She lifted her head so abruptly that she almost bumped into my chin. I reacted quickly, jerking my head backward. We were so close to one another. Too close and I was too weak for this. I felt like shaking but I knew I had to keep it together.

Charlie, you can’t. You have to talk to Bill first.

How could she look ravishing even when she was crying? Without really knowing what I was doing I leaned closer to her and she did the same.

Did I try stopping myself?

I did. But I couldn’t.

I didn’t want to.

Not anymore.

Our lips brushed against one another. Touching so slightly that it tickled me. In the name of everything that is magical, I had no idea how deep my desire to kiss her was.

I…I can’t. I have to wait.

If I could resist and torture myself for such a long time, I have to endure for a while longer. The second I come home today I am checking my team’s schedule to see when I can get a few days off. I need to talk to Bill. I need to get my life together and when I come back I need to be with her.

I tried pulling away from her. I really did.

We weren’t kissing, but she didn’t move away either, our foreheads pressed together. I could feel the tension between us. The curiosity of what would happen if our bodies crashed together. I couldn’t make the decision. I was simply not strong enough.

“Charlie, we can’t.” She decided for me.

Her breath brushed my lips as a summer breeze. She hastily pulled away as if remembering something and I followed her lead.

“I’m sorry…I…” I didn’t know what to say. I knew why I wanted to pull away but I had no idea what was going through her head. “I thought you wanted me to.” I breathed.

I had nothing to lose by being honest with her.

“I know.” She looked away, biting her lip. “I know.” She repeated, more to herself than to me.

She took a deep breath and wrinkled her face as if she was going to regret what she’ll say next. “I’m seeing someone.”

If someone was in the kitchen I would say that they dropped something made out of glass and it shattered all over the floor. But it was just my heart, breaking inside my chest. She was seeing someone? And she told me this after lingering over my lips for a solid minute?

What kind of a game was this? What was she thinking? What was she doing or better yet why? This was a new level of cruelty. It was brutal. I felt like someone ripped my heart right out of my chest.

I was still getting over the fact that we almost kissed. How close we were. My heart barely calmed down from that and she throws this bombshell on me?

“His name is Nick.” She continued.

I don’t care what his fucking name is, Rhylee!

“We started dating a month before I started working here.” She didn’t stop.

This was the first time I wanted her to shut up. I didn’t want to hear any details.

A month before she started working here? She was joking, right? This had to be a joke. She had a boyfriend the entire time. All this time I didn’t make a move because I felt so guilty about Bill and she was in a relationship?

Then what were all the mixed signals she was sending me?

All the silence?

Every time I caught her looking at me?

Gazing into my eyes?

All the unspoken words that never left her lips?

What was that about? She’s going to tell me that all of that was just something friends do? Because it bloody well didn’t feel like friendship to me!

What about every time she hugged me or leaned on me? Or the fact that she sobbed into my shoulder when she told me about Kyan? I didn’t see her doing that with anybody else here. Were those just friendly gestures too?

I didn’t know how to feel. I felt numb as if my body was shutting down. What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to reply? I didn’t know if I was sad, frustrated, miserable or angry. Probably all at the same time. I was mad at her. Furious, to be more specific. She claimed that she’s the type of girl who doesn’t play with anyone’s feelings, then what is she doing to me?

“He’s,” She hesitated for a moment, “nice.”

Is it ridiculous to say that I didn’t believe that? Is it insane that I still had hope? That even though I felt my heart breaking I somehow wasn’t bothered by it at the same time. I hated all these feelings. All the emotions which I can’t explain. I hate that I don’t know what they mean.

This was all too much. I need to get out of here! I can’t sit on her sofa, in her hut and pretend that I am not completely shocked by her words. I can’t be around her. For the first time, I wanted to get away from her. For the first time, I couldn’t stand being near her.

Is it wrong to wish that she told me about this sooner? Why didn’t she? Why did she wait for more than half a year to tell me this? She started working here in September. It’s May, for fuck sake! Why did it come up now? Did she expect something to happen between us again and she waited for the right moment to crush my heart?

I didn’t know how to feel about her right now. She looked so innocent, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. I couldn’t trust myself not to say something harsh or to shout at her. She had to know I had feelings for her. I know I never said anything but I wasn’t exactly hiding them either.

“He started working in Gringotts last March and we started dating in August.”

Why does she keep pushing it? Why does she think I want to know this?

“I’m happy for you.” I surprised myself at how sincere I sounded. I definitely didn’t feel happy for her. “Look, you’re right.” I got up. “I crossed the line and I’m sorry.” I started walking toward the door.

“Charlie, wait!” My hand was on the doorknob, waiting for what she has to say but nothing came out of her mouth.

“Don’t worry about telling, Bill.” I turned to her and bestowed her with a weak smile. “I’ll talk to him.”

I opened the door and stormed out. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I wanted to go home, change and go for a run but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop running. I had to do something. I felt like my chest was going to explode. I wanted to scream and shout and throw stuff around. I wanted to bang my head against a wall and take my heart out to stop the pain.

I felt sorry for myself as much as I was pissed off. I brought this on myself. I should have never had slept with her. It ruined my relationship with Bill. It ruined me. It ruined everything. I was happy before I met her. I loved my life and liked my lifestyle.

Did I want to meet someone like her? Yes.

Did I long to have a deep connection with someone? Yes.

Did I ever think it would be so hard and so excruciatingly painful? No.

I thought love is supposed to be easy. I thought it’s supposed to bring you warmth and make your brain all fussy. It’s supposed to bring you joy and give your butterflies. Not make you want to be fed to one of the dragons.

“Charlie!”

I really can’t catch a break, can I?

I turned around and saw Andrew, John, Evan and Theo approaching me, waving.

“How did it go?” Asked John before they even reached me.

“Did you tell her?” Theo wanted to know.

“Did you kiss her?” Andrew smirked.

“She has a boyfriend.” I know I sounded bitter but I didn’t care.

“What?” John’s face sank.

“You’re joking!” Theo said incredulously.

“If you don’t believe me, you can go ask her yourself.” I spat out. “Meanwhile, I’m going to sleep and...” I headed toward my hut. “And if you mention her or my feelings ever again, I will fucking feed you to Ren.” I said over my shoulder, leaving them behind, astounded.

I didn’t care what they thought. I didn’t care how harsh I sounded. I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

I took my time walking to my hut. The fresh air made me feel better. My head was completely blank. What would I even think about? Now, more than ever did I miss Bill. Merlin’s beard did I miss him! Is this how he felt when I wasn’t there for him when Rhylee told him everything?

Great, now I feel even worse. How did my life turn around so quickly? How did everything become such a mess? I didn’t know how to get out of this. Perhaps I deserved pain. I just knew one thing. I have to talk to Bill. I have to make up with him. I will beg for his forgiveness. I will kneel before him if need be. Now, more than ever, did I realize how important family is and how foolish I was for what I’ve done that night at the Burrow.

Family comes first and I needed too long to figure that out. I needed too long to see what is important. Nothing matters more than family. Nobody will be by your side as your family when something like this happens. Nobody will get even close to understanding as they will.

And I couldn’t even tell them. I don’t even want to know what they thought of me. I always wrote to them that I can’t come home because we were so busy here. I made up stupid lies to hide the fact that I was a complete scumbag. That I hurt my older brother and I affected my whole family because of it. I know they miss me and I have been selfish for not showing up at home. What a sibling I was for not taking care of them!

I don’t think I was ever so disappointed in myself. Did I really need more than 2 years to realize that this went too far?

2 years and 5 months…

That’s how long I haven’t talked to Bill. That’s how fucking long I needed to muster the courage and decide to visit him and talk to him. Was that how you treat your brother? Was that how you behave when you’re an adult? I was ashamed of myself and if I could I would beat the complete shit out of myself.

I hope Bill will do it. I hope he breaks my nose and sets me straight. I would deserve every punch and I would gladly take it.

This was my breaking point.

I unlocked my front door and shut them behind me with such a force that for a second I thought the windows were going to shatter. It definitely wouldn’t be the only thing breaking tonight.

I took off my clothes and went to take a shower. The water, pouring over me, was so hot that it burnt my skin but I didn’t care. It covered the tears that were running down my face. I didn’t even know why I was crying. Because of the heartbreak or for feeling so guilty.

I just knew I couldn’t hold them in any longer. All of this was too much. Too overwhelming, too painful to handle.

I was a simple man. I wanted my dream job. I wanted a simple life, living somewhere in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature. I wanted a simple girl who I could ask out without thinking twice about it and she would gladly say yes.

Without drama.

Without secrets and regrets.

A simple girl who would love me just as much as I would love her. Somebody that would enjoy spending time with me and have a family with me.

That was all.

And what did I have?

A broken heart.

A girl that will never be mine.

And a brother for which I didn’t even know if he will ever want to talk to me again.

Damn, was I living a different life from what I imagined to have.

[secndlife]

pairing: jeonghan x reader

genre: fluff, angst? second life!au

summary: when something as big as a proposal happens, you start to wonder about the what ifs of a different life. 

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

song

“I’ll be back later, ok?” You said, voice soft as you placed gentle kisses by the sides of his neck. He felt good, skin smoother than the finest piece of silk against your lips. You’ve been together for years now and you knew you’d never get over how sweet he tasted. It was like honey. Better, even. He was like the most addictive of drugs. Your arms were wrapped around his waist while he focused on the screen in front of him, comfortably sitting by the kitchen stool.

He hummed at your gesture, goosebumps hitting his arms like a soft breeze. “Hmkay.” His hand went to the shiny, brand-new object placed at your finger, digits tracing its’ outline slowly before he intertwined your hands. “Off to tell him the news?” He felt you smiling against him.

“Yeah,” you mumbled against his neck, lips still pressed against the veins that he had there. “This is too big of a thing to tell him through the phone.” Your now fiancé nodded in agreement. You held him a bit tighter against your grip, chin now resting on his shoulder and eyes stuck at your hands. It was crazy how something as small and delicate as a ring could carry so much meaning, could feel so heavy. Not the bad heavy, though. Just a different one that you weren’t used to it yet. The one that makes your head spin and your heart beat faster. 

He caught you staring at the diamond and his mind went to places he didn’t want to allow. As always, his tongue moved faster, the question he’s been dying to ask ever since he proposed last night rolled out of his lips before he could stop it. “Are you happy?” It was barely a whisper, though, like a secret that he was keeping inside for longer than it seemed. He knew, with the bit of rationality he had inside himself, that you were happy. For you, there was no such thing as hiding your feelings, your heart always being bravely worn on your sleeve. And he would never forget the spark in your eyes when he opened the small box and got down on one knee. At darker times, however, he was still that insecure college boy that asked you out years ago. He just needed the validation. 

You first thought was to gently smack his chest and tell him to stop being silly. That this question was out of place and ask him why this lunatic, unreal thought had the nerve to materialize itself into words. But after knowing him so well, you figured that this wasn’t the best approach. Like you had a roadmap to his manners, you could take the hidden hint in his tone that he tried his best to disguise. So you just held him closer, allowing your body to engulf him with love in the form of a hug. “Yes. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” 

He let out a breath in relief, pressing your arms against his chest as a form of response to all the uncertainty that danced in his mind like ballerinas in new flats. As if the warmness of your skin could fight, almost instantaneously, the coldness that started to form around his heart. “Good.” He brought your hand to his lip now, placing a comfortable kiss against the ring, lips barely brushing at your knuckles. “I love you.”

You’ve been hearing the melodic way he said those three words for a long time now, your paths being laced together for longer than you could count on one hand. Still, every time he said it, it was like the first time you had ever heard it. Like the world had stopped spinning just for you. Like stars were falling out of the sky to be placed in your hands as a gift. Like you were there, at that moment, just to live through the greatness of being loved in the way he loved you. “I love you too.” 

“Good,” he said, once again. With a tap by the back of your hand, he tried sending you away. “Ok, go. We both know how he gets when someone’s late.” He giggled. Your heart felt warm at the sound. 

“Wanna come?” You offered. They were friends too. You were sure the youngest wouldn’t mind. “You haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“Is that why you want me to go?” He teased. 

With a small laugh, you said, “yes.” You didn’t want to admit, but you’d kinda miss him. You wanted to be around him these days as much as you could. It started before the proposal. Seeing him confess his love once more, but this time with the twist of the promise of forever, under the star-filled summer sky, just made it all deeper. It was like this thirst for him would never end. Even a couple of minutes away seemed too long, too unbearable. It was like the air was being sucked out of your lungs. 

He hummed. “I can’t. I have to send some reports on the recordings to the company today, so I need to double-check everything.” You pouted. “Don’t make that face. You know I can’t resist it.”

You giggled, “Then don’t.”

“I think you need some time alone with him.” His tone was as calm as his heart.

You let out a whine and nodded, “Fine.” You squeezed his body closer to yours once more, trying to gather as much of him as you could for the time you’d spend out. 

“Tell him I miss him, though.”

“Sorry I’m late,” you said between breaths, placing your bag by one of the empty chairs.

He looked up and raised a brow at you, his black hair that was now a bit too long falling over his gaze. He was wearing a simple white shirt and some denim pants. You were used to his presence, something impossible not to be as he was your friend for as long as you could remember. But you’d never get accustomed to how heavenly he looked. The way his lips curled up whenever he smiled could make flowers bloom in dry land. The way his eyes slightly, almost imperceptibly, changed colors whenever he stared at the sun for too long could make anyone want to dive in the dark mysteries hidden behind them.  

“I should be used to this by now,” he said, with a teasing tone. “I don’t know why I still show up on time to any of our gatherings.”

You placed a loud, wet kiss by his rosy cheek before biting back at his comment. “Because you love to complain when I’m late.” You sat across from him and smiled. 

He giggled. “That does give me a reason to live.”

You shook your head, taking the menu from the center of the table. “You’re insufferable,” you scoffed. It felt relieving to be around him like this. Too good. Too comfortable. It was almost as if there were no pressure to be anything other than you with him. Freeing - that’s what it felt like to be around him. Your heart ached as if you haven’t seen him in forever. It hadn’t been that long though, but for sure both of your work schedules were clashing way too often for your liking these days. 

“And despite that, you still love me.” He took the menu as well, scanning among the sea of options. He was never good at making choices. Too many options for something as simple as a brunch made him tired. 

With eyes glued to the yellowish page before them, you said sincerely, a gentle smile resting against your lips., “I really do, don’t I?” You were a firmer believer that love had many faces and forms and fronts. You couldn’t quite describe the one you had for him. You just knew it was stronger than time. And stronger than life too. You knew, deep down, that this wasn’t your first encounter. The two of you had talked about it before in one drunken night at college. Or more like you talked and he listened. You said that life was magical and alluring to put the two of you together again in this lifetime. He didn’t question. He wouldn’t. He knew it too. In his head, he liked to think he’d always gravitate towards you, one way or another. This thought never really went away. It wouldn’t. 

He smiled at your words while trying to figure out what to order. He’d probably just have whatever you were having. That’s how it usually worked whenever you two went out for food. You’d lead, he’d follow. “What are we drinking?”

After thinking for a couple of seconds, you spoke up. “Maybe we could have mimosas? Or just plain champagne?” 

He looked up, “Really? Why do you want to drink fucking champagne?” You never drank that. Maybe five times in the course of 15 years, only on very special occasions like college graduation or getting dumped by your second boyfriend. You were a beer type of girl. Or mojito, if you were in a party mood. He tilted his head in amusement and confusion, “What happened?”

You placed your hands on your lap, not ready to let the ring show just yet. He was very observant, so maybe he had noticed it already and was just giving you the time to tell him yourself. Maybe it’d be good to have a drink first. Get some alcohol to pump the blood. You weren’t nervous. You knew he’d be thrilled with the news. You just needed to feel prepared. You’d change the topic for now. “How is she?” 

He shook his head while calling the waiter and ordering two glasses of champagne. “Why are you changing the subject?” He inquired after placing the order. 

“I’ll tell you in a bit,” you pleaded. Your fingers were still resting against your thighs. “Now answer, how is Sowon?”

He laughed once more. You loved his laugh. “She’s fine. She asked about you today.” Your lips curved up in a smile. “She’s busy. But she’s good, yeah.” You nodded. “How is he?”

“He misses you,” you said, voice delicate over the background noise. It was his turn to nod. “But he’s good too.”

“I’ll call him later.” He meant it. You knew he would. He was not the one to be distant. And he wasn’t. Before he could say something else, the waiter returned with the bubbly glasses and placed them ahead of the both of you. You thanked him and were left in nothing but the pleasant company of your best friend once more. “So?”

You decided to play along a bit more just to annoy him. “What?” He hated that. 

He rolled his eyes. “You’re really not telling me why we’re having champagne on a random Saturday mid summer?”

You took the clear, fancy glass in your left hand and took a long sip. Ok, ready. You let out a sigh and extended your right hand to him, the ring shining brighter under the natural night. He carefully looked at it, reaction not quite yet showing. “Wait.” His mouth was now shaped in a small ‘o’. He was putting the pieces together and his lips formed a magnificent smile. “Is this—”

“Yeah,” you said, voice a bit shaky. You were trying your best to hide the uneasiness running through your body. You knew he would approve, and that he would wish you nothing but the best. Still, he was such a meaningful person to you that the mere thought of him not being fond of such happening made you feel sick to your stomach. 

He was always good with words. He managed his way through them as a maestro leading an orchestra. Now, it felt like they were escaping him when he needed the most. He took your hand in his and squeezed it, hoping his gesture would say more than his poor brain was being able to voice it. “When did he propose?” There was no surprise in his question. He didn’t actually know, but it was somewhat expected, you guessed. 

You held his hand strong as if it was supposed to keep you in place, to keep you in peace. “Last night.”

He smiled widely again, “Are you happy?”

It was the second time you heard that question today. Only now, it had a totally different meaning. Earlier, you were asked “are you happy with me?”. Now, you were being asked if you’re happy, period. Simply, genuinely happy. That was all he would want for you. The answer was the same for both. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” 

His grip in your hand got tighter, the ring almost hurting his milky skin. “Then I’m happy too.” You felt a stubborn, natural urge to cry as those words made their way to your ears. He knew you well enough to know you didn’t like showing that side of you in public, so he spoke again, “Shall we toast?”

You swallowed the tears along with whatever stupid insecurity you had over this moment. You took your glass from the table and raised it, followed by him. “To me finally getting married?”

He laughed, “No. To you being happy.” 

You nodded, heart full of the same love you had for him ever since your first meeting. 

After eating more than you should and sharing a bit too many drinks, you were still by the restaurant having one last round of mimosas. After a sip, you spoke. “Yesterday when I called my mom, and he was in the shower, she asked me something funny which I didn’t really know how to respond to.”

“You, not knowing what to respond? That’s new,” he teased. You always had a remark about everything and everyone. “What did she ask?”

“Why we never dated,” you stated simply. 

The thought of being more than a friend to him crossed your mind a couple of years back. He was a flirty person and the two of you had shared a kiss, and even more, here and there. Still, it was never something with a lot more meaning. Not as far as you knew or thought or felt. Of course, he was interesting, intelligent and impressive. He kept you on your toes and you loved him dearly. But you didn’t know exactly why this never evolved to something more than best friends. And it was not due to lack of outside incentive. Everyone thought you’d date him before you actually got a real, long term boyfriend, to whom you were now engaged and that was one of his close friends. Some still kept that thought, even after both of you were dating. People talked when your current relationship started. They thought he got bitter. They thought he got jealous. You never saw it and if he did feel like that, he never showed it. On the contrary, he was always very supportive. So you thought long and hard on your mother’s question, you just couldn’t come to any real answer. Maybe he, the one who always knows what to say and how to say it and when to say it, would be able to put some clarity to such secrecy.

After a couple of seconds of comfortable silence, he finally spoke. “Do you believe in fate?”

You laughed. Seems like the drinking was starting to get to you. Your cheeks were flushed and you felt funny inside. “I don’t know.” You started to think about it and shared your conclusion. “I believe everything happens as it should.”

Once he was done contemplating, he started explaining. “I love you, so so much.” There was no undisclosed meaning behind his words. He loved you and that was clear for everyone to see. “And I know you love me too.” Everyone knew that too. You had never, not even for a second, hidden that. But love was a shapeshifter. “Still, I don’t think I’m your fate in this life. Seungcheol is.”

You blinked, processing his words. Your mind started to inevitably wonder to the what ifs, to the what might have beens if you were engaged to the one sitting across from you right now. Those thoughts went away as quickly as they came, much like falling stars. Wasn’t that what all possibilities were? Falling scenarios. They seem bright and ideal, but only because you don’t actually have them to see how they’d really be. Or just because you don’t see them often or long enough. And then they vanish and leave a bittersweet taste behind. You wouldn’t dwell on that. You were happy and you wouldn’t waste time thinking on the falling star of this relationship. He wouldn’t want you to do that and you wouldn’t want to do that either. And it wasn’t even a fallen star to begin with. It was exactly how it was supposed to be. It was like home. Still, something lingered. So you asked. You had to know. “Do you think you’ll ever be my fate, Jeonghan?”

He smiled your favorite smile. The one that gave you chills and that made your heart at ease. With a voice as soft as his features, as gentle as his soul, four little, magic and promising words, that would be more than enough for this time being, escaped his lips. “Maybe in another life.” 

a/n: this was supposed to be a piece of a collab with a very talented author, laura. unfortunately, the collab didn’t really happen, but i still wanted to share this piece after cross-checking with laura if she was ok with it. anyways. here’s to finally writing something for jeonghan that’s not absolutely hearbreaking. as always, thank you @yoongitalks​ for being my faithful beta. love you tons! feedback’s always, always appreciated, so feel free to drop some here. hope you’ll like it!

[germanicseidr]

Wodan

It has been more than a year since I published my post on Wodan. Just like with my post on the Batavi, I wanted to rewrite this post as well to include more information about this fascinating God and also add a bit of my own personal experiences with this deity. This group has gained thousands of members since last year so there are also quite a lot who have perhaps missed my previous post on Wodan. I also want to discuss the similarities and differences between Wodan/Odin and the moment when humans started to worship him.

Wodan is the chief God of the Germanic pantheon. He has countless of names in many languages, it would be truly fascinating to try and collect all of his names into one big list. He is the God of wisdom, knowledge, battle, magic, death, primal rage, healing, tricking humans and the runes. Most of our knowledge on Wodan is based on the eddas. Unfortunately the ancient Germanic people did not write anything down about him but we do have archeological evidence for his worship.

His name comes from the proto-Germanic word Wodanaz which means rage. This already provides us with a clue on how the early Germanic people viewed this deity. Interestingly, the Dutch word for rage is woede, derived from the old Dutch name for Wodan, Uuoden>Woen, Weda in old Frisian. The meaning of the word Wodanaz has not changed for the Dutch people in over 2000 years. This God personally holds a very special place in my heart. Through my work with seidr I have come into contact with him several times.

When did the Germanic people start to worship Wodan?

The first written mention of Wodan comes from Tacitus in 98AD. Tacitus describes several Germanic Gods but unfortunately he uses Latin names to describe them. The Romans compared Wodan with their own God Mercury. Why the Romans compared Wodan with Mercury also isn’t fully clear. Both Gods escort the dead and carry a staff but that is where their likeness ends. Curiously, the Romans compared their chief God, Jupiter, with Donar. This is perhaps a clue into the changing roles that Wodan played.

Just because this is the first written mention of him, doesn't mean that the worship of Wodan comes from this time period. The Germanic people didn't write anything down, their religion was passed down to the next generation by telling stories, it's an oral tradition so we still do not know how old Wodan exactly is.

We can look at archeological evidence as well. When do we first see images appearing that look similar to Wodan? I think most of you are familiar with the classic Odin/Wodan images found all over the Germanic world, from Norway to Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands from the Vendel period and early medieval era. But looking at these images provides us with another problem. How can we be absolutely sure that these images represent the same God? Maybe Wodan was portrayed completely different from how we know him now? Maybe a face of Wodan was carved on wood, similar to the wooden statues found in bogs dating back tot he bronze age? Maybe all the early depictions of Wodan have simply been lost in time.

There is however another theory that suggests that Wodan was introduced to the Germanic people by the Saami. One of Wodan's most defining traits is that he is able to wander across all the realms, speak to spirits and gain knowledge this way. Technically this makes Wodan a very experienced shaman. The Saami people were/are practitioners of shamanism. The Goddess Freyja taught Wodan how to practice seidr. Seidr is a mix of shamanism and witchcraft similiar to the shamanic practices of the Saami people.

Another theory suggests that a Saami shaman, called Wotan, simply became deified by the Germanic people. Perhaps he led a tribe to victory after leading them into battle. Another even wilder theory suggests that Wotan was a Celtic druid who was deified by the Germanic people. The only historic truth that can be verified is that the Germanic culture borrowed elements from both the Celtic and Saami people.

Wodan could also have been introduced to the North-western European people during the bronze age by the proto-indo Europeans. The proto-indo European language spread all across Europe and evolved into different languages, perhaps the same happened to their chief God, Dyeus, as well. Almost all Indo-European cultures have a (chief) God who is quite similiar per example, Zeus, Wodan, Perun, Tiwaz, Jupiter, Dagda, Dievas, Papaios, Brahma.

Even if you research all these possible topics deeply, it is still impossible to say when exactly Wodan was a known deity amongst the Germanic people. The Germanic culture developed during the late Bronze age and if you combine all these theories together, his possible origin could lie near the end of the Bronze age and the start of the Iron age. That would mean that the worship of Wodan began around between 1800BC-1300BC in modern day Denmark, northern Germany and North-eastern Netherlands, more than 2000 years before the viking age even began.

However most of the physical and written evidence for the worship of Wodan came from the early medieval ages until the middle medieval ages, the era between 400-1000AD. One example is a fibula found in Heiloo, the Netherlands. This fibula from 7th century Frisia depicts Wodan flanked by two wolves. There are also coins found in Frisia that depict Wodan. More of such fibula, amulets and coins have been found throughout Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the Netherlands, England and Germany.

Written sources outside of the eddas that mention Wodan have also been discovered. This is the nine herbs charm which was written somewhere during the 10th century AD in England. Christianity was the official religion of the English people at that time but it seems that the common people would still fall back on the old Gods in times of need. Here is the charm:

“A snake came crawling, it bit a man. Then Woden took nine glory-twigs, Smote the serpent so that it flew into nine parts. There apple brought this pass against poison, That she nevermore would enter her house.”

There is also an Old English rune poem that basically explains the futhark. This is the stanza for the ansuz rune:

"god is the origin of all language wisdom's foundation and wise man’s comfort and to every hero blessing and hope" The word Ansuz/Os is used for God. Christians did not use this word to speak of their God so this rune is directly related to Wodan.

He is also mentioned in the Old English poem Maxims I:

"Woden worhte weos" Woden made idols.

  The last written record that I want to mention is the German Merseburg charm which I have written about before:

"Phol and Woden travelled to the forest. Then was for Baldur's foal its foot wrenched. Then encharmed it Sindgund (and) Sunna her sister, then encharmed it Frija (and) Volla her sister, then encharmed it Woden, as he the best could,"

 Wodan later became known as Odin in the early medieval Scandinavian world. Wodan and Odin are essentially the same deity but there are some differences between the two. These differences formed over time since Wodan is an older depiction of Odin. Here I tried to list the attributes of both Wodan and Odin in an attempt to show how the early Germanic people viewed Wodan compared to how the vikings viewed him.

Wodan: Skilled sorcerer, God of death, trickster of humans, God of knowledge, bringer of the runes, still has two eyes according to some sources, shaman, primal force of rage, leader of the wild hunt, God of war, God of healing, carries a staff and spear, two ravens, is a deceiver and was a feared God because of his ability to trick humans into death or madness.

Odin: Skilled in battle and magic, God of Knowledge, bringer of the runes, one-eyed, shaman, shapeshifter, dead fighters go to Walhalla to fight for him, God of war, owner of Sleipnir, carries a staff and spear, two ravens and two wolves guide him, more closely related to the Saami culture.

 There are still some traditions left in Europe that are linked to Wodan/Odin. Since I am Dutch, I will explain some Dutch traditions: Sinterklaas, the old wanderer on his white horse who rides in the sky and gives presents to children. Midwinterhoorn blazen, the blowing of the midwinterhorn to announce the arrival of the wild hunt, the traditional start of winter. Hanging the placenta of a horse in an oak tree. Sint Maarten, the old wanderer on a horse who shared a piece of his cloak to a freezing stranger. And lastly possibly the game of paalzitten. If you know about other traditions from other countries that are linked to Wodan/Odin, feel free to share them in the comments.

Here are some of Wodan/Odin’s names in different (Germanic) languges:

Proto-Germanic: Wodanaz Old English: Woden Old Saxon: Wodan Old High German: Wuotan Old Frisian: Weda Old Norse: Óðinn Dutch: Wodan/Woen Old Dutch: Uuoden English: Odin Norwegian: Odin

Feel free to expand on this list in the comments.

 The reason why I decided to rewrite and post this article today is because Sinterklaas has arrived again in the Netherlands. This was traditionally viewed as the start of the wild hunt led by Wodan. He would ride in the cold dark winter nights through the sky, trying to collect as many of the dead as possible. If you were unfortunate enough to see him in the sky, it meant that your life is soon ending and you would join Wodan’s hunt back to the underworld.  In order to please the wild hunt, people left behind small offerings of food near the hearths of their homes. Carrots were left behind to feed Sleipnir. Until this very day, Dutch and Belgian children gift carrots to his horse in the tradition of Sinterklaas.

 At last I want to share one of my own personal experiences with Wodan. As a child and teenager I was always searching for a spiritual home. My mother is a practitioner of witchcraft, a tradition which goes back for many generations in my family. I was raised with this practice of witchcraft but still I felt spiritually lost. That was until one day, on my birthday several years ago, I started to explore the older variant of witchcraft, shamanism.

During that first trance I met Wodan by surprise. His appearance was so unsettling that it caused me to experience a full blown panic attack and I was thrown out of my trance. I felt physically ill for two days until I returned into trance and stumbled upon Wodan once again. I was finally able to communicate with him and it turned out that he caused my panic attack because he likes pulling such tricks on humans, especially when he senses fear. We talked for a few minutes about knowledge until it was time for me to return to the mundane world. Before I left, he gave me a name in Proto-Germanic which I now use as my spiritual name.

Of course I was extremely skeptical about this whole experience afterwards. Was this just something I imagined? I was thinking about this for days at an end while at the same time I had the thought of placing a tattoo on my left arm with the word Wodan spelled out in the elder futhark. Eventually I decided to visit the local tattoo shop to make an appointment for this tattoo. Until my great surprise, the tattoo artist was not only a skilled artist, she is a professionally trained shaman of the native Canadian culture. She knew instantly that I was also dabbling in the art of shamanism and that I was in doubt whether it was actually real.

She then told me everything that Wodan had told me. Wodan , knowing that I am quite a skeptical person by nature, decided to inform another shaman in order to finally convince me that this was after all a real experience. She had to pass this information to me in order for me to finally believe in the old Germanic Gods. It’s interesting that Wodan decided to use a shaman from a completely different culture, showing that the practice of shamanism is at its core exactly the same all over the world. I got the tattoo as well. This first experience with Wodan led me to finally find my spiritual home and it started the quest for knowledge on the ancient Germanic culture. I eventually decided that it would be best to share as much knowledge as possible, the reason why I started this facebook group.

 I am so sorry for this incredibly long post and I congratulate the ones who actually fully read it. In the future I also want to write more about Wodan/Odin’s role in the Germanic mythological lore, his work with the runes and his archetype.

 Here are images of: A depiction of Wodan as a wanderer by Georg von Rosen, 1886, A depiction of Odin by Mary H Foster, 1901, A depiction of Wodan riding Sleipnir from a 18th century manuscript, Frisian Wodan fibula and coins, Sacrifices made to Wodan in the Netherlands around 300AD (human and horse remains, arrow heads and jewelry), The Merseburger charm, Wodan VS Sinterklaas,

[some-dr-writings]

Korekiyo and Nagito x SHSL Military General

Korekiyo Shinguji:

·       “Simply beautiful.” Korekiyo found himself saying those two words often around The Super High School Level Military General. Everything about such a person was simply so, how could anything else describe them.

·       At first he had heard the rumors of you, the strict, stone cold, military general whom had taken over their entire class. With a simple snap of the finger you’d summon your entire class, utter one word and they were already off obeying your coded command. Your every movement was stiff, yet effortless. Everything had a deliberate purpose, even a twitch of the nose. You had such control over everything and everyone around you, all bending to your will.

·       Kiyo was content simply observing you at a distance, and yet a part of him wanted to disturb your space, to know you better. Though from a single glance he could tell idle chit-chat was not something you’d partake in, so he was fine. What did surprise him though was you approaching him.

·       “I need your expertise.” “AH! Oh… It’s you.” He took a deep breath, placing a hand over his heart. “You startled me. I hadn’t even realized you had come in. How may I help you?” “Anthropology, you study human beings, their culture and traditions, the origins of those, that is what you do, correct?” “Indeed, it is.” In one swift movement you took off your hat, holding it over your chest before bowing. “Please teach me. The better I understand people, I may better understand my soldiers and our targets. I must learn all I can to make conflict end with minimal damage to all sides. I must learn how to form people into as powerful, independent, a team player, and dependable as they can be so that they may survive, even without my direct guidance. That is my sole goal in life, would you assist me in my endeavor?” “… Simply beautiful. I would love to help in any way I can.” And that was how you had begun to regularly meet with Kiyo and visit him in his lab.

·       Any and all stories Kiyo would tell you or any artifacts he’d show, you’d always take detailed notes, dissecting them in order to find the humanity behind such fables, find what compelled people to do what they did. Kiyo could not but help to notice how you did seem to have a preference for specific tales, ones of trickery such as Odin and his many escapades. It was not for the aspects of humanity it explored, you seemed to simply enjoy it for yourself, something… quite rare.

·       All you did was for others. That selfish love of being the one to protect others or bring them joy, that part of you reminded him so much of his classmate Kirumi, so much so, he introduced you two, thinking you could get along well together, and that he was right on. You and Kirumi instantly clicked, often meeting with one another, exchanging advice and stories. You allowed Kirumi to assist you when you were leading your classmates in study or work and even went out of your way to seek her out. You both did what you loved out of this, assisting others and leading them into becoming their best selves. Seeing such a friendship blossom was extraordinary, especially so between two amazing individuals such as yourselves.

·       You seemed to change a little after meeting Kirumi. You were still stark and quiet, rarely speaking, but on occasion he found you’d just sit beside him as he read or went about his own business, both keeping to yourselves while still keeping one another company. Soon though you became more direct. “Follow me.” And that he did, even keeping in time with your foot falls. Soon he found himself on the field where Kaito, Shuichi and Maki were as well. “Oh, Shinguji’s your new sidekick?” “…” “Alright then! Let’s get to training!” Every evening there after you had brought Korekiyo to those raining sessions, strictly making sure he improved every day. Then you also took him to watch Himiko’s magic shows, play tennis with Ryoma, whom Korekiyo thought would not play the sport again till he spotted you speaking with the man, of course a person like you could lead Ryoma back to his old passions. You got Kiyo to regularly spend time with just about everyone, one day he’d be playing piano with Kaeda as he discussed the history of the piece they were playing, the next you and he were in a week long prank war with Kokichi.

·       “Here.” Kiyo looked between you and the clothing you had passed to him, most notably those boots. “Be at the front gate of the school dressed in these in half an hour.” Without another word you simply left. When he got to the gate you simply walked away from him to follow. You went hiking. “Winded already?” “N-No… Just… catching my breath.” “I know you can do better, keep up.” You simply marched on as Kiyo tried keeping up. Eventually you had reached the top of the small mountain. “Ah, the city.” You could clearly see it, along with Hope’s Peak. “Keep up hiking. Seeing the greenery should be enough motivation to keep going.” “Oh, you won’t be joining me? I may forget, you know.” “You will not. I train all those under me to be independent and be able to survive without me.” “… So, you’re saying you won’t be around?” “…” You didn’t speak for a moment, your gaze unwavering from the city with your arms crossed. “All day every day you simply tended to your books and artifacts or watch others. You care not for your own health. That cannot do. I… I wish you to survive and have connections. And I certainly believe you wish to live to see the beauty of humanity firsthand. That you cannot do when dead or bed ridden from lack of caring for yourself. Even if introverted, humans are social creatures, so you need to speak with others on occasion on topics other than your passions. You must learn of others, how they see the world in order to connect. Because of you and Kirumi, and others… I’ve learned that making connections is so vital, even if it will hurt in the end, some connections are worth making.” Finally, you locked eyes with him. “My country calls for me, I must protect them, but I… I wish to see you in particular… See you… thrive. Experience the beauty of humanity firsthand, no longer be a bystander. Become unrecognizable when next we meet, become the greatest person you can. Do not die, and do not stagnate. Keep improving and learn what you taught me.”

·       “I see, you shall be leaving then…” “… Hmm? What’s the matter, it’s unlike you to become so down cast.” “I have? Well… I love you. You are the most amazing person I have met. I’ve taken advantage of our time together, and seeing it… Y/N?” You still so stoically stood there, but your entire face was flushed pink. “you… love me… I, y-you can go on, why did you stop?” He laughed. He laughed in that almost strange way only he did. His eyes were half lidded, and you saw the crow’s feet in the corners. He was so clearly, gently smiling, you felt as if your heart would beat right out of your chest from the mere sight of it. “Adorable.” “I…” That blush only darkened and darkened, as you had instinctively taken a step back, fearing being so vulnerable in the moment, yet… liking it also. You… you never allowed yourself to be vulnerable like this, or at least so rarely did, you had almost forgotten the feelings. You buried your face into your hands. Kiyo simply took your hands into his own, gently leading them down so he could see that slightly wobbly smile, and the red that so elegantly dusted your cheeks.

·       Not even a week later and you disappeared as if you had never even attended the school. Despite the years that had passed Korekiyo made sure to stay connected too his high school classmates. Kiyo had taken to traveling with Rantaro who was searching for his sisters, Shuichi who was putting his detective skills to use in searching for them, and Kirumi who acted as Shuichi personal maid believing with the right assistance he could become a truly amazing person. They were a rather fun group to travel with. In the evenings when time permitted, he and Shuichi would do some exercises and reminisce on the training they had done in high school. Any time they found themselves in your home country, Kiyo couldn’t help but wonder how you were the whole time. Kiyo and Rantaro would often chat through the night when in your country, Rantaro of his sisters and Kiyo of you. They also spoke of the travels they had taken before high school. Being with them… it was simply amazing, and Kiyo was eternally thankful for all you had done for him, and he was the determined to not disappoint your expectations for when you’d meet next… you just had to meet again.

    Nagito Komaede:

·       Many were confused to see the Super High School Level Military General always hanging around Nagito; you never spoke with him, you didn’t even seem to like him, you were just always near him, even when he left campus you still followed him. Eventually rumors had begun sprouting up that the pair of you were in a relationship of some sort, but even that didn’t make sense. If any asked, you never said a word. Some asked Nagito but even he didn’t know, he just accepted the fact that you were around now.

·       “… Weapon, I can hold my tongue back no longer.” You spoke! Nagito was amazed! In your following him around, you had also dragged him around so that you could do your own work and though that Nagito saw your command in action over and over again, but with your gaze locked to his own, that sharp voice resonating deep within himself… the experience was unlike any other. “Am I to see you as human, or a weapon, I do not know any longer.” “Oh? A weapon?” “Yes, a weapon.”

·       Nagito felt his breath getting caught in his throat, his heart pounding against his rib-cage in a steady pace, like a taiko drum. It were as if his other senses had gone numb, they existed only for you, your intimidatingly kind visage, your solid unwavering voice, even touch, he could only feel the barest, slightest bit of your body heat. There was only you… So, THIS was the power of the Super High School Level Military General. No wonder all listened and heeded your every last breath.

·       “Clearly you hold no self-worth, always calling yourself ‘trash’, always doing everything you’re told by others you see as superior, us ‘Ultimates, beacons of hope’ as you’d phrase it. You have no drive or ambition other than pleasing ones you see as great… That…” You simply stared at him for a moment, you just didn’t move at all. “… I find myself compelled, compelled to take you under my wing, get you to see yourself for how truly amazing you are, and yet I too fear that. If you gain personhood, you would become the most dangerous weapon the world has ever known. You don’t just have luck, you can influence it and predict it to an extent. If you gained self-worth and ambition and decided to use your talent you could destroy the world single handedly. If you wanted too, and yet you are also just as dangerous in your current state. In this state you’d willingly go along with any and all who’d wish to use you as the weapon you are, and with no substantial will of your own, you would be used without fuss and all the while not worry about any destruction you’d cause, believing hope would overcome any despair or tragedy no matter how great. So… to attempt to give you will so you’d be less likely to be manipulated by others, or leave you as you are so you grow no ambition of your own. That is what I cannot decided. As I see you now, I know not what you think, if you gained any ambition what you could possibly want. My goal in life is to protect everyone, even my enemies, and you… You are the greatest threat I have ever met. Your ‘luck’… the travesty it could cause is worse than any atomic weapon I know of and I must be rid of you.” “… It sounds like you could solve this by killing me. Nobody could use me than and I wouldn’t be able to want to use my luck.” Many would find it strange just how matter-of-factly Nagito had stated that, and yet, being around him for so long you were not surprised.

·       What… what happened? Nothing about you had changed, and if you had, it was so subtle Nagito did not notice. He was terrified. Something in him screamed to run and hide, yet he was frozen. “Life is never to be weighed lightly. From the tinniest flea to the smartest and biggest whale. Life is never to be spoken of, let alone treated of so flippantly. Even that of your most despised and hated of enemies… At times, death is the only option, but if there are others that exist, they must be taken into account. Life… Life is the weightiest thing in existence. Never underestimate the impact the death of any single creature can have on everything. All life matters, even yours, though you yet to see it. You may deny it but heed my words. You matter. You matter more than you can ever realize. So, should there be a way to defuse the catastrophe that is laying dormant, only building more the longer you exist, I WILL find out how.” That terror that entrapped him faded and he felt as if he were gasping for breath after almost drowning. “You, I yet know what to do with, but for now we shall be retiring to my room so I may go through with planning.”

·       Then you turned and walked away. Nagito followed, in aw and amazement at you! You were truly a force to be reckoned with, simply astonishing! Though he didn’t believe he deserved it, if you saw fit to exchange so many words with him, he was truly honored. And he could not wait to see what decision you’d come too; he was quite looking forward to see what you were going to do to him.

·       “I need more data. I can not come to a conclusion. We shall proceed as we have before.” Despite saying that, things were never quite the same after that day. You would talk to him on occasion. Not much, but those brief exchanges were captivating none the less. Nagito became your assistant of sorts, keeping count as you did pushups or other exercises, or tidying up and cleaning so you could focus on more important things such as training yourself or others, perhaps even cooking or bringing you food so you didn’t have to interrupt that mental exercise you were trying out. Always being around you, he was kind of forced to pick up some of your habits in order to keep up, like trying to keep pace on your morning jogs. It became a sort of challenge for you to protect Nagito from his bad luck. You tried your damnest to stop the chaotic results no matter how small, whether it affected others or not.

·       Despite how Nagito always went on and on about how he was trash, you were impressed with how smart and capable he was, even going over military strategies with him. This quickly spread to other things. You started playing board games, seeing if your strategizing could out do the boy’s good luck, even playing luck-based games to challenge yourself into finding some strategy, even if it were underhanded. No matter what you tried though, Nagito was unflappable, much like yourself. Playing games with him became your favorite pastime- TRAINING! It was training… not for fun. Though relaxing is important, so plaything with him served a dual purpose… yeah, th-that’s it.

·       It was late spring on the cusp of summer. “Hey! Y/N! That’s thirty laps!” You waded in the water for a moment, catching your breath before allowing the crashing waves to push you to shore. As the gulls cawed you marched up the shore across the reds, purples, and oranges of the setting sun behind you so beautifully reflecting off the sand. There Nagito stood, a towel draped over his arm, a small bowl of ice cream in each hand. “A small burst of energy before I can get you a more calorie rich meal. “… I thank you.” Nagito simply passed you a bowl before patting your face with the towel, then wrapping it around you… Sometimes he wondered if you always had that light blush on your cheeks. He had been with you for so long, it was difficult to separate how you looked back when you first had met to now. He thought he’d remember, but he just wasn’t quite sure. Though he found himself deliberating on this because it seemed that blush was spreading… “Something the matter Boy? You’ve been staring for a while, and just… kind of holding the towel over my shoulders.” “a-ah! So, I have! I, I deeply and sincerely apologize. I just love yoooooouuuuu-” Oh no. “Your face! I love your face!... So much!” Internally Nagito was screaming about how he just let that slip out despite how he just so calmly smiled like this was an everyday occurrence. Truly, he was a mess of a person. “Y-you too?” Then you squeaked, realizing what you just said. And there you both just stood starting at one another. “Dinner, we’re supposed to get dinn… dinner…” “Y/N?” “Boy, how long have we been dating?” “Huh?” “We’ve been inseparable, and… we do more than train like watch movies an… stuff, so…” You then just walked away. “W-wait, Y/N!” “I can’t speak, I’m eating ice cream!”

·       Even after years the pair of you were still inseparable. The only time you seemed to be apart was when you went to war, but no matter the distance or trials you faced, you’d always return to him. As for Nagito… he thought this was for the best, after all, you were a humanitarian, if realistically possibly you’d protect life, so a person as dangerous as himself always under the watch of someone so amazingly strong… always protected by you from the world and even himself… the thought sent his heart a flight.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Parent Trap

PART 2

Marcus Moreno x Reader

It’s hereeee! Children’s shenanigans. Yearning. A kiss.

The Artist

The rest of the week went smoothly. Artemis was very excited to have a new friend and talked about Missy often.

Friday came around, and Shade had to inform the school that she was running late in picking Artemis up. A seller was taking his sweet time, in trying to decide which of the 2 pieces he wanted, before deciding he didn’t want either.

She was annoyed; it wasn’t uncommon for a seller to act like they wanted her work before making up some excuse as to why they were no longer interested. Nor was it uncommon for a person to try and haggle for lower prices, claiming ‘you should be grateful someone even wants your business.’

She was tired to say the least.

She finally, after 45 minutes, pulled up to the school, and made her way to Artemis’s class to pick her up. She was surprised when she saw Missy sitting with her.

“Missy? What are you still doing here honey?” Shade asked concerned.

“My dad’s running late, but I have no way of contacting him to find out what’s going on,” She admitted quietly.

Shade nodded in understanding, before pulling out her phone. Marcus had made sure to give her his number the other day when they saw each other dropping their kids off.

She called him. It took about 4 rings, before he answered, out of breath “Hey Shade.”

“Hey. So. I’m here with Artemis and Missy, are you uhh.. on your way hon?” She asked politely.

She hears him swear in the background before stating, “I promise I didn’t forget about her. It appears that someone has changed every clock I know. I haven’t been able to tell time for 90% of the day.”

“Haven’t been able to tell time eh? Funny. Had something similar happen the other morning when my alarm went off an hour early. Weird how these clocks… have just magically changed for both of us,” She noted staring at the two girls suspiciously.

Both of them shrugged acting like they have no idea what she was talking about, before looking away.

“Listen, can you tell Missy I am on my way, I swear,” He requested with a sigh.

“How about this… How about I take Missy home with me, and she can stay the night? In the morning, you can bring her a change of clothes, and pick us all up for our date,” She offered with a smile.

“Are... are you sure? It’s no problem for me to come and get her, it would just be a few minutes?” He questioned hesitantly.

“It’s not a problem. We will see you in the morning, yeah?” She assured.

“Sounds good, can I talk to Missy real quick?” He politely asked.

She handed her phone over to her, and they talked for a moment before she hung.

“Alright. Let’s get outta here,” She nodded her head toward the door.

The girls grabbed their things and the three of them were off.  

She gets them home and told them to get to work on their homework. She checked on dinner that was cooking in the crockpot. It was crockpot chicken and noodles.

The girls finished up their homework and were currently helping her set the table an hour later. They were both giggling and whispering to one another.

“Alright you two, enough with the whisper party. Go wash your hands, while I serve up dinner,” She tells them, shaking her head.

She grabbed their bowls and ladled them a healthy portion for all of them. She had made some fruit salad to go with it and gave them a small plate of it.

By the time their plates were ready, the girls were bouncing back into the dining room. They took their seats, and she joined them.

Missy began asking questions about Shade’s work.

“So, what kind of art do you do?” Missy politely asked.

“I do mostly pencil sketches and paint occasionally even though I don’t think I’m very good at it. Been working on some new stuff, but... Mh. not sure how I feel about it so far,” Shade explained to her.

“Ooh. What kind of new stuff?” Missy asked excitedly.

Shade went to wave it off as nothing when Artemis piped up, “She’s been drawing the Heroics and their most famous battles! Kinda like a comicbook! It’s so cool!”

“What!? That’s awesome! Can I see it sometime? I mean. If you’re okay with it?” Missy asked amazed.

“Hmm. Possibly. If…” Shade began.

“If what?” Missy questioned.

“If… you promise to fix your dad’s clocks, and not mess with them again. I understand that both of you are excited to be friends and want us to get along too, but messing with clocks and alarms is not okay,” She bargained looking at both of them.

They both looked down, wincing as they mumbled apologies and swearing that they would fix things.

“Apology accepted. Finish eating and I’ll show you my workshop,” She stated with a smile.

Both of them perked back up and began eating again happily.

Once they all had eaten and cleaned up, Shade led them to her workshop. She slid opened the double doors and presented it to Missy.

There were several desks, covered in pencils, graphite and colored, pens, paints, and brushes. There was an easel and some blank canvases resting in a corner. She walked over to one of her sketch books and opened it about midway.

“Just, uh, don’t touch the ink too much. It takes a long time to dry,” She informed them setting it down on the small table where Artemis held her art supplies.

Missy was amazed. She stared at all of the drawings of Miracle Guy, Sharkboy & Lavagirl, Tech-No, and many other Heroics.  She noticed one thing though.

“You haven’t drawn my dad yet?” She mentioned looking up at her.

“No. I haven’t. I for whatever reason… cannot seem to draw him. Every time I do, I worry I’ll mess it up. Your dad meant a great deal to me at one point,” Shade tells her, thinking fondly of Marcus.

Missy and Artemis looked at each other, a plan forming.

They spoke a little more about art and what Shade does before the girls ran upstairs to go play.

Or so Shade thought…

The Hero

Marcus was finishing up some paperwork that had piled up over the week when Miracle Guy stepped into his office.

“What are you still doing here, man? Shouldn’t you be at home? With your kid?” Miracle asked him.

“Can ask you the same thing, MG?” Marcus countered, referring to his nickname.

“Had a job I just came from. Mission report. Saw your light was still on, figured I should check on our fearless leader,” Miracle lightly teased.

Marcus simply hummed in response.

“So. What’s been going on with you? You’ve been jittery all week. I had thought it had something to do with the incident at Missy’s school, but now… not so sure,” Miracle brought up, sitting across from Marcus.

“Remember… when we first started out? I was with that artist?” Marcus began, biting his lip.

“Yeah. The really pretty one, that you wound up breaking up with, right?” Miracle recalled.

“Mh. Her daughter is now best friends with my daughter… and we have a date tomorrow… and I honestly… don’t know how I feel,” Marcus confessed, setting his pen down, the report no longer distracting him.

“Wh-… What? Seriously? Wow. What a small world? I mean… this is the first time you’ve gone out since Isabelle died right? I think it’s only natural that you’re nervous. But… it’s also with someone you’ve been with. I doubt she’s changed that much in 15 years,” Miracle noted with a shrug.

“Yeah. I just… hmm. I don’t know. I am nervous… but I’m also…excited? Happy? I mean… I wanted to marry this girl back in college, but life… got in the way. I guess… I’m just worried I’ll mess it up,” Marcus admitted with a sigh.

“Oh? You never told me that part? Listen. It’s one date. If you don’t feel sparks fly or whatever then, it’s not meant to be. But if you do, explore it. You deserve to be happy Marcus,” Miracle stated.

Marcus opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang.

He answers noticing it was Shade’s number.

“Hey, what’s-” He began.

“Dad! You should get over here! Like quickly! As fast as possible!” Missy voice came, rushed.

Marcus goes to question her, but the line ends.

Marcus quickly gets up, grabs his things and runs out to his car. The drive under normal circumstances was 20 minutes, but he was there in half that time.

He ran up to the door, banging on it, panicked.

When the door opened, Shade stood there, looking extremely confused.

“Marcus?” She greeted staring at him concerned.

“Are the girls okay? Missy called and told me I should get here,” Marcus explained quickly.

“Yes. They’re fine. They went upstairs to play?” She answered still confused.

“But they had your phone? And she sounded worried?” Marcus recalled the phone call.

She suddenly patted her pockets, looking around trying to find her phone.

The Artist

It slowly dawned on her what happened.

“GIRLS! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW” She yelled up the stairs.

A moment passed, and neither of them heard movement.

“I am so sorry Marcus. Artemis… must have grabbed my phone while I wasn’t looking,” She apologized, moving to go upstairs.

Marcus stopped her.

“Hey, so long as everyone is okay. Even though a CERTAIN YOUNG LADY IS GROUNDED. I’m sorry for almost busting your door down with my knocking,” He tells her, shouting part of his sentence up the stairs.

A loud groan could be heard in response.

“AS IS ANOTHER CERTAIN YOUNG LADY,” Shade mentioned loudly.

Cue another loud groan.

“Would… would you like some water?” Shade offered, twirling a lock of her hair.

“Yes. I would actually,” Marcus accepted gratefully.

The two of them stepped into her kitchen. Shade grabbed him a glass and filled it with water, before handing it to him. He downed about half of it, before setting it back down, wiping his mouth.

“So. What… what happened?” Marcus asked trying to understand.

She thought about it, trying to retrace the evening.

“Oh…. I showed them…some of my artwork… and Missy asked me why I hadn’t drawn you yet,” She realized.

“Oh? Ahem. So… Why…Why haven’t you drawn me yet?” He asked hesitantly and trying to hide his curiosity.

“I told her it was because… I was worried I would mess it up and that you meant a great deal to me… which is somewhat true… I have drawn you…but I always feel like… they didn’t do you justice,” She quietly admitted to him, not making eye contact. “Kind of hard to draw someone you were in love with for years. Especially when those feelings never quite went away.”

The Hero

He was surprised to hear that. He didn’t quite know how to respond. He did… know one thing though.

He moved around the island over to her.

“Forgive me… if this is too forward,” He whispered to her.

He gently cupped her face into his hands, and pressed a small, hesitant kiss to her lips. When she didn’t pull away or slap him, he kissed her again, but just a smidge longer.

He felt her arms move, sliding around his neck. He was extremely relieved when he felt her kiss him back. He lightly pinned her against her the island, his hands moving to her waist. They wrapped around her, pulling her close.

Their kiss lasted for a minute and would’ve gone longer if it weren’t for the fact that they heard giggles coming from the stairway.

They pulled away slowly.

“I told you that my daughter’s favorite movie was the Parent Trap, right? We’ve been Parent Trapped,” She whispered against his lips.

“You also said her number one favorite was The Mummy, which I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t unleash an unspeakable evil to get us together,” Marcus joked.

“This is true. You 2 are still grounded by the way, and Mrs. Moreno will be informed of that fact tomorrow when we leave you with her to go on our date,” She threw over shoulder.

There was a sound of 2 pairs of feet scurrying back upstairs.

“You… you still want to go out tomorrow?” Marcus inquired, hopeful.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. If you still want to,” She mentioned, biting her lip.

“Yeah. I do. Though… I think I should go grab my little delinquent, and take her home, so you can sleep without anymore “emergencies.” Plus, I apparently need to talk to her about boundaries,” Marcus noted as he slowly stepped away from her.

“Yeah. I apparently have to have a similar conversation. We’ll see you tomorrow?” She said with a smile.

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Umm. Just one last thing,” Marcus hurriedly said.

He pulled her into another kiss, that she returned with a sigh.

When he finally pulled away again, he simply said, “One wasn’t enough.”

He called for Missy to come downstairs and get her things. He told her that a slumber party will have to wait for another time. As he took Missy home, he couldn’t help the smile on his face, as he thought about Shade.

He knew his evening was far from over, but he couldn’t wait until tomorrow.