#allison talks psychology again

[i-like-writing-stuff]

grateful [ five hargreeves x reader ]

“Fancy seeing you here,” You crossed your arms, trying to act natural as the boy before you eyes you curiously.

“In front of the CIA headquarters?�� Five mimicked your posture, “Jee, Y/N, fork spotted in the kitchen. What are you doing at my work place?”

You sighed, trying to fight back the urge of rolling your eyes. You were lying to yourself if you wanted to say that Five’s sarcasm actually annoyed you. After all, it was one of the traits you loved about him- surprisingly. You hated to admit it, even to yourself, but even if you were actually waiting for him to talk business, you never once missed an opportunity to meet him.

Especially if you weren’t surrounded by your noisy family. The Hargreeves siblings became your family by choice, and as much as you loved each and every single one of them, you couldn’t help but appreciate deeply the one on one time you got to spend with Five.

“I just got off the phone with Luther,” You said, putting your hands in your pockets, “Viktor got kidnapped, Five.”

As soon as those words eat your lips, you saw Five’s expression go from cocky to shocked, to worried and then to shocked once again. You hated you had to be the one to break these news to him, after six years of peace where all of you managed to live normal lives. You hated that you had to see him worried again for his family’s safety, but you had no other choice.

You all had to reunite to save your loved one.

“I’ll drive,” Five nodded, already realizing that the gang would have to get back together.

You and Five met during the JFK mission in 1963, when both of you were working for the Commission. You only heard of him around the work place, but never actually worked together. The Handler assigned you both for the first time to get the assassination done, but one thing led to another and you accidentally woke up in 2019, in your teen body, alongside him.

The rest is history.

As you got into his car, you watched him as he started the engine in silence. He was deep into thought, obviously worried half to death about his brother. You were as well, since Viktor was his first sibling you warmed up to, and honestly it felt surreal that he was in danger again, after six years.

Six years where nothing, and quite literally nothing out of the ordinary happened. After your third attempt at stopping the apocalypse and the Hargreeves losing their powers, you all moved on with your lives, keeping in touch now and then. All nine of you went separate ways, rebuilding your lives. Allison was back to acting, Klaus was finally sober, Diego and Lila were a family with kids, Viktor was running a bar and Luther was working somewhat as an astronaut. Key word, somewhat.

Five became a CIA agent and you were running a marketing agency, so you really only saw the family on holidays or random gatherings. You and him kept in touch the most. You were happy to say that he was your best friend, but sad that nothing more went on. If you were supposed to be together, you would have been by now.

After all, there was this drunken kiss you shared on the night of Luther’s wedding.

“Shut the fuck up, Hargreeves!” You giggled, pointing a finger m at him, “I respect Delores, I swear I do, but I do not understand why in the world she would put up with your ding dong face, honestly.”

“Oh, spare me the reverse psychology in which your jealousy lays, Y/N,” Five smirked, softly waving away your finger in his face.

You were the only ones left on the dance floor, intoxicated over the safe limit. After the whole family went to sleep, the two of you were still left quite energized. You didn’t know if it was because you were sixty year olds back in your teen bodies, or simply too drunk to realize how hyperactive you were, but you were not about to end the night any time soon.

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment you fell in love with Five, but he definitely could write an entire book of how he grew feelings for you. It all happened at such a slow pace, how could he not? When he first met you in 1963 at the Dealey Plaza, he was immediately taken aback by your quick wit and intellect. He also didn’t think someone who looked so sweet and elegant, like the grandma who would take her grandchildren all the time to fancy restaurants and then bake fresh cookies for them at home, could also be a trained assassin, ready to fight off three people at once wearing dresses and heels.

It was love at first sight for him.

Then, when you kept Delores safe from Hazel and Cha Cha, he realized just how big your heart was. He was completely blown away by the way you held onto the mannequin with one arm, while dodging attacks incoming from both of them.

There was also this moment in 1963 when you held him in your arms after he went on a spree, taking out the entire board of the Commission.

He was so infatuated with every single action of yours, so deeply and intensely in love it was actually pathetic to him, to some degree. Now, as his hands were firmly gripping your waist, swaying your hips in sync to the melody on the speakers, all he wanted to do was feel your lips on his, for a first and last time.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked, as your arms were wrapped around his neck. You didn’t know when you got so close to one another, it was all just so natural.

“Ironically enough, you,” He scoffed, making you roll your eyes;

“Only you could make such a romantic comment and at the same time make me want to stomp on your face, Five,” You said amused, shaking your head in disbelief.

Five laughed, looking into your eyes. In his drunken state, he was not thinking rationally as he usually did anymore. He didn’t know for certain if he’d make it out of the apocalypse this time, and after the two attempts at saving the world, the regret of not tasting you was finally getting to him.

He moved his hands up your sides, resting them on your cheeks at last. Rubbing your face gently, Five leaned in to capture your lips, tasting the alcohol you shared all night. You were relieved to finally feel his touch you so deeply craved over the months spent together, pulling him even closer, as if that was possible.

That led to nowhere, unfortunately, as neither of you ever mentioned it again. Like little stupid kids, all these years you both assumed that the other didn’t remember that part, since no one ever brought it up ever again.

“Viktor will be fine, Five,” You broke the silence, watching as his knuckles turned white while gripping the steering wheel, waiting for the green light.

“I just forgot how fucking stressful all this shit was,” Five sighed, letting go, but not looking at you yet, “So stupid.”

“Hey,” You placed a hand on top of his, “We will rescue him and go back to our lives before, okay? Who knows, maybe it’s not even that serious- maybe it’s just some misunderstanding or a real easy mission. We stopped the apocalypse three times, I think some amateur kidnapping will be a walk in the park, okay? Besides, maybe by the time we get there, Viktor will have already handed their asses to each other.”

Five scoffed amused. You did always manage to be the voice of reason in his life whenever the over-thinking got the best of him.

You didn’t have any idea just how grateful he was for you.

[eliotquillon]

Drabble req: the first time chameron say "I love you" to each other. Cause you know it was messy and you know they didn't say it at the same time.

obligatory @all-pacas already has a fic about this that is VERY GOOD and you should read (https://archiveofourown.org/works/57257620) but:

“I love you,” Chase blurts out while they’re doing the dishes; he washes, she dries, because when she first started staying at his apartment she was aghast to see water spots on all his dishes and broke her self-imposed rule to never clean up after a man just for her own peace of mind. Cameron freezes, hand gripping a pasta bowl with the edge of a dishtowel, and Chase adds, “You don’t have to say it back.”

It’s early to say it. Too early to say it, Cameron thinks; ever since her husband died, she’s been a big believer in the six month rule, unwilling to allow herself to be caught off-guard again. Words mean things. She knows it’s different, for men, read a psychology case study about how they almost always say it first in heterosexual relationships, but it doesn't change the fact that this is still too early. They've barely been together for two months, if you don't count their bout of casual sex beforehand. Cameron has a sinking feeling that Chase probably does count it. Which would make it closer to three months, but that's still—

"It was just dinner,” she jokes, trying to deflect. She’s been trying to ease herself into letting him into her life; he doesn’t have a drawer at her apartment yet, but they go to her favourite Chinese place often enough that the staff have started to recognise him, ask how that nice British boy is doing on the rare occasion that she still goes there by herself. She never corrects them. It feels more intimate than just sharing space; if they break up, she’ll probably never be able to go back to that Chinese place again. Or she will, out of spite, but it won’t be the same. “Though their egg rolls are pretty good.”

“You don’t have to say it back,” Chase repeats, flushing pink—she tells herself it’s just steam rising up from the sink full of dirty dishes and hot water—“but don’t make a joke of it, Allison.”

Cameron swallows. “I don’t know what to say,” she admits, which feels worse than the joke. Admitting she doesn’t know what to say is tantamount to admitting that she hasn’t considered loving him yet, that she’s nowhere near ready to say it back; if she’d seen it coming, she would’ve had an answer prepared. Something nice, confident but not glib—thank you, maybe, or I really like you, too. She doesn’t like this off-kilter, unmoored feeling. Maybe it would be easier, if they were at her apartment and if she could stare at the kitchen wall to collect her thoughts without seeing Chase everywhere, but they aren’t. It isn’t.

“That’s alright,” Chase says kindly. She forgets, occasionally, that he is capable of graciousness. It’s still strange, sometimes, interacting with him outside of the gilded cage of the conference room. They drive to work together, and a part of her is always a little bit surprised that they go their own separate ways; that this isn’t some elaborate charade, and that one day they’re not both going to walk up to House and go we really had you going, huh? Not because things are going badly. If anything, it’s because they’re going well. If she pretends that she’s pretending, then maybe things won’t hurt so much if they end. “I can take over, if you want.”

He means the dishes. Cameron smiles, relieved. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” she says. “I’ll have a better answer next time.”

It doesn’t mean she’ll be ready to say it back then. But it’s a promise, sort of. Eventually. Eventually, Cameron thinks, and she sets the pasta bowl out on the rack to dry.

[jeanmoreaux]

I am loving your recent flood of AFTG posts, I have never been the same since I read that series and Captive Prince a few years back

Anyways I saw the one compiled with quotes about rage and Andrew and I almost cried

I really really love Nora for being like, fck it and she just wrote the characters she wanted and the story she wanted and nothing comes close to that experience

I really appreciate how Andrew fully is an unhinged and violent person and there’s no ‘redemption arc or forgiveness’ nonsense that most writers (I’m looking at the recent YA sickness and booktok monstrosities) —- would intent to write in or be forced to do so by their editors or whatnot.

He is unapologetically himself and even though in reality I would probably avoid someone like that (I am smol. I have all the rage of the world but I would snap like a twig in 2 seconds if he decided to just end me—-ala Allison and Aaron situation WHICH I HAVE SOME BEEF WITH IF YOU’LL HEAR ME OUT) —-I just appreciate his character so much I can’t explain

Neil is myyyy boyyy though I definitely experienced the series the way he also develops across the books. When he’s shookt I’m shookt, when he’s snarky I’m also feeling snarky, and when he’s driving into a conversation like knives I’m also with him (the scene after the assault in book 2, at the hospital where Neil confronts him about ‘doing nothing’ still sends chills down my spine)

I just love AFTG it’s tattooed into my brain

ahhhhh you have noooo idea how much joy this ask brought me. even after all these years i still get excited when people come talk to me about these books and the characters in it. i am all with you in the opinion that this series is made special by nora just writing what she wanted to write. it’s so unapologetic in that approach as well, which is why the story and the characters and the dynamics work for me. and omg don’t even get me started on andrew or neil, they are my sons. i have soooo many feelings about them it’s awful. i actually appreciate how messed up they both are and how they both don’t really lose that by the end of the story. they do get better in their own ways without fundamentally changing as people and that just feels so right for them (to me at least). for me, this story has always been about the after of trauma. it’s about the coping mechanism to deal with it and the adjustment you have to make to survive it and also that even when you’re never gonna be what society considers “normal” again you can have a life that’s worth living and full of love and accomplishments and success. a life that lets you be okay most of the time. in my opinion, none of the characters needed a redemption anyway. ((but you’re right, popular sensibilities often push editors to demand that from their writers. which is so stupid to me but another discussion entirely lol.)) like, with these characters, it’s all about perspective. you simply cannot meet them on a level that insists on “healthy” notions of ethics and morals because they operate on such other principles. principles that make sense for the characters based on their psychology and circumstances. and that’s where you have to meet them and the point from where you have to judge them, in my opinion. ((that’s also why i think aftg is not for most people because i get not wanting to stray from one’s own set of sensibilities when it comes to the stuff in this series.)) personally, these characters (and especially andrew and neil) are so interesting exactly because their brains are so different from mine. i find that fascinating. and nora characterises them well enough to give it all a coherent internal logic that works out for the story. so YES OMG i appreciate these characters so much as well. they’re truly so different in a way that i eat up. and PLS full-on shit-stirrer, people-dragging, truth-spitting neil is my FAVOURITE!!! love it when he lets lose and verbally attacks people like there is no tomorrow. makes me so proud in the weirdest way.

also. what’s your beef with the allison and aaron situation? 👀 i am so curious and i’ll gladly hear you out

[toapaixonar]

re: lydia + the teen wolf movie. i'll have a verse where i oblige with the movie's canon, but as of right now, in lydia's main verse, here are some important things to note about her post-canon:

after graduating, lydia leaves beacon hills and goes to live with her mom in a small town in california (i'm leaning towards sausalito or carmel by the sea). they do this so that lydia can see a therapist and have time to properly heal and process the abuse she suffered in eichen house. also so that they can financially recover from all the hospital visits that lydia had to face throughout the show's canon.

lydia does end up going to uni, but she does not leave the state because they could not afford it (even with her getting scholarships due to her grades). she also has a special permission not to live in the dorms, terrified that she might wake up screaming and become a freak at university too. her years in college are rough and she feels absolutely disconnected from everybody, but she does not know how to create bonds with people who do not know who she is.

her relationship with stiles does not last because they are not in love with each other. they have been, in different points of time, but timing is not on their side. they are, however, best friends and always will be because they are each other's anchors (this is something i have developed with @notsolved throughout the last few years)

lydia ends up choosing to pursue a career in psychology, so that other supernatural people have a chance to talk about their traumas and experiences without ending up in places like eichen or being haunted. she also does it because she wants to help people, since she cannot do it with her powers.

she never properly learns how to tap into her powers. she tries and takes several trips to europe and other places, gets in touch with other families of hunters with chris' help, but there is not a lot of information. she never seeks out other banshees, however, still feeling guilty because of meredith. she also rarely uses her powers again. she does allow herself to tune into the voices (much like in the movie), but her screams/wails and fighting? she is terrified of doing it and killing someone again.

she pushes the pack away because she is always scared of losing the people she loves. which is funny because her biggest fear is being alone but she isolates herself. she is also closer to the younger pack than the older pack by the time she gets her degree, seeing as they all went through college around the same time and it is easier to be friends with them since they didn't see her fail to save her best friend/seeing as she can keep them at arms' length more easily. this is all subject to plotting, however.

she never comes back to beacon hills permanently. the only way she would return is if the pack asked for her help, especially scott. she also visits to see allison's grave. at first, she would go on her birthday, her death anniversary and the holidays. but then it got too hard and too painful so now she goes only once a year. as she grows older, she stops visiting it and chooses to remember allison other places that do not bring her as much pain.

i do not think lydia and jackson would be best friends after everything they went through in season 2. she does love him more than words, but she also knows their relationship was unhealthy and she would keep her distance from him. i could forgive their hug in season 6 because lydia was still young but after that? they do not become best friends. jackson put her through hell and, again, she will always love him because he is her first love, but she also knows they need to go their separate ways. they are civil, however, because she is friendly with ethan (they talk every year on aiden's birthday & death anniversary)

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

Of the three European dramas so far remade for UK television by Eagle Eye Drama – the production company set up by the team behind streaming service Walter Presents – Belgian director Dries Vos has worked on two.

The first was Professor T, with Vos directing 12 episodes over its first two seasons. Debuting in 2021, the ITV series is based on the Belgian show of the same name and stars Ben Miller as a university criminologist with obsessive-compulsive disorder who assists the police in solving crimes.

Last year then saw the release of Channel 4 drama Suspect, an adaptation of Danish series Forhøret. It stars James Nesbitt as a detective retracing the final days of his murdered daughter to find out what happened.

Vos directed all eight episodes of Suspect, which has been recommissioned for a second season, and he has now directed all six parts of The Couple Next Door, the latest Eagle Eye adaptation, again for Channel 4.

A dark, psychological and emotionally charged thriller written by David Allison (Bedlam, Marcella), the series is based on Dutch drama New Neighbours and aims to explore the claustrophobia of living in suburbia, where you never quite know what goes on behind closed doors.

Eleanor Tomlinson and Alfred Enoch star as Evie and Pete, who move into a new house in an upscale neighbourhood and quickly befriend their neighbours, traffic cop Danny (Sam Heughan) and his yoga instructor wife Becka (Jessica De Gouw). The two couples then becoming increasingly close until events on one fateful night change all their lives forever.

In Belgium, Vos is known for comedy series and crime dramas such as Women of the Night and De Dag (The Day), which dramatised the events surrounding a bank robbery from the point of view of both the police and the robbers.

“But I’ve always wanted to do some kind of sexy thriller,” the director tells DQ. “I’ve always done these more heist stories like De Dag, for instance, but this was completely different. Eagle Eye talked about it in September 2022, when they had two scripts, and I started reading it and immediately felt it could be something. We then started working on it first at a script level, of course, and then we started shooting at the end of March this year.”

Having worked on remakes in the past, Vos adopted the same approach for The Couple Next Door that he used when working on Professor T and Suspect, which is to ignore the fact it is based on another series and to treat it as if it has been created from scratch.

“I never watch the original series. I never read anything about it,” he says. “For me, it’s just the same as if it’s a new script. Otherwise, you’re in danger of stealing stuff.

“If all this influence comes my way, I might maybe try to change my vision and I just want to be clear, so I always start by trying to search for some pictures, some stuff from other movies, some references. I had some pictures that I showed the writer – there were some stills from a movie I love with some koi carp, and we ended up writing some scenes with koi. We influenced each other the whole time. But if you watch the original series then you’re too attached to what you see. That’s not always helpful.”

With international dramas more accessible to viewers than ever – and Walter Presents doing as much as any other streamer to take local-language dramas around the world – remakes may seem unnecessary. But Vos still sees value in adaptations, believing the same story can evolve through the work of new storytellers in front of and behind the camera.

“It’s easily said, ‘Oh, it’s a remake,’ but you always try to invent it from scratch,” he says. “It’s the way you approach it visually [as a director] but also the way you’re directing those actors. They bring some other stuff with them as well. A writer brings some other stuff, so it’s good if you get the freedom to make it your own.

“If you don’t have that freedom and people just want to see the same as the original, there’s no point making a remake. It’s always got to be filtered through the eyes of a director or through the eyes of a writer so it’s got another perspective than the original.”

The Couple Next Door doesn’t just stand apart from the series it is inspired by, but from anything else Vos has directed in the past. “You evolve as a director, and you’re influenced by things you see and things you think are cool,” he says. “But what I always try to do is ask, ‘What is this show?’ What does this show need?’

“For instance, I like to play with genres, so this could be a romantic movie but also a fairytale or have some thriller elements, and I put them all in a box and shake it a little bit. Then I put my personality in it and there’s something new or a new visual language, or just the way you’re blocking actors or their language is different or whatever. There are so many parameters you can play with. You can still just remake something on a shot-by-shot basis, but what’s the point of it all?”

Taking a cue from De Dag, a key visual trick Vos uses for The Couple Next Door is the multiple perspectives at play as characters constantly watch each other. And it’s not just Evie, Pete, Danny and Becka, but also another neighbour, Alan (Hugh Dennis), who seems to have a particular interest in Becka.

“It’s a story about lots of people. My first instinct was like, ‘Ah, this is a story about Evie.’ But if you dig into it, it evolves a little bit more towards a story about Danny and Becka as well because they have problems in their relationship,” the director explains. “There is also some stuff happening with Pete and Evie at the same time, and so it evolves by having those two couples. In the first episode, we focus more on Evie but then some episodes shift a little bit more towards Alan. I always like to have more perspectives on the same story.

“Those perspective changes are really interesting to play with narratively, but also visually. It’s about the ensemble. When you finish episode six, you will have a complete storyline for everybody.”

The filming locations also added to the claustrophobic atmosphere. Location scouts discovered a cul-de-sac in the Netherlands with homes that create a suitably heightened atmosphere owing to the fact they look like they belong in American suburbia. Filming also took place in Leeds and in Belgium.

“It’s a completely strange setup but that’s why I love it,” Vos says of the exteriors location. “So having that and also having people watching through curtains and watching each other, that’s a cool thing to play with.

“It’s also a bit soapy – it’s got some soapy elements in there. But the series evolves to something completely different and completely dark by the end.”

Throughout the course of the series, it’s safe to say not everything goes to plan for the two couples, as Evie and Danny become drawn to each other over the course of the first episode. Vos used the camera to demonstrate the distances between characters, sometimes starting off distant and drawing closer, and on other occasions becoming more separated.

Of course, the actors are key to getting the right chemistry for the series, particularly Tomlinson and Heughan. Vos jokes that he just says “action… and then stuff happens,” but he also spent time with the actors to break down their characters and explain what he wanted from them.

“They went out for dinner, and there’s got to be a minimum level of trust,” he says of Tomlinson and Heughan. “It’s very interesting to see, but what I was doing was always on a gut level. You don’t have a lot of time because there are a lot of stress factors during shooting, so sometimes you have to decide on the spot.”

The challenges on the show didn’t just come down to finding the right locations to create the drama’s pristine appearance – further exemplifying the show’s theme that not everything is as it appears. In particular, “just finding the right tone was the biggest one for this series,” the director reveals, “I think it works and hopefully an audience will think the same.”

The right tone, one that blends psychological thrills with charged emotion, was still being sought on the last day of filming, and continued into the editing process.

“On the last day we were still like, ‘But what is it?’ Visually we found it while we were shooting but, still, story-wise, it’s only when it’s coming together in the edit that you get that feeling,” he says. “I also spent a year searching for the right music, because music on this series makes a difference. Music can change so much.

“Then when we were at a screening, Hugh Dennis said to me, ‘You found it.’”

Audiences can judge for themselves when The Couple Next Door launches on Channel 4 on Monday. It will also air on Starz in the US and Canada in 2024, with Beta Film distributing the drama internationally.

Can Vos envisage returning for a second season? “Let’s see how it evolves, and if people love it, let’s go for a second series,” he says. “But if it’s a flop or people hate it, then it’s over. Let’s just see what happens in the next few weeks.”

tagged in: Channel 4, Dries Vos, Eagle Eye Drama, The Couple Next Door

🤔 The director @driesvos pushed hard if his perception was a romance narrative in a swinger relationship. If his work has anything, taking this from this and that from that and mixing them with copycat moments from films, as we saw in “The Notebook”.

This reminds Quentin Tarantino’s words once said, “I steal from every single movie ever made”. But a shared bonding experience in a lusciously dark way does not seem romantic at all and life is not a fairy tale, there is never “A happily ever after”. This is not “The Notebook” 2 🫤 with a touch from the Psychological/Thriller film “Rear Window”

[shiorimakibawrites]

It is one of the best things about fan fiction. The ability to give our beloved characters something they don't have in canon.

This got long so thoughts below the cut.

Holidays and birthdays are not the happiest topic to headcanon for our boys but you can't really dig deep into them without digging into their traumas . . . it's like trying to understand Dean and Sam as characters without looking at their childhood = mom dead, dad badly damaged and hunting things everyone thinks are make-believe, seldom in one spot long enough to form meaningful relationships beyond each other = all that directly impacts how the Winchester boys see the world. I bet Jessica had some interesting questions for Sam sometimes. Because as much as he was trying to live a normal life . . . Sam doesn't really know a normal is . . . Second unrelated headcanon, I firmly believe that Dean regularly poked around Palo Alto to make sure Sam was okay. After all, he knew exactly where Sam was living in episode 1.

Okay, didn't mean to get derailed by talking about the Winchesters.

Matt

In addition to the knowledge that the Nelsons aren't his family, you know it takes Matt a long time to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop (if he ever does stop waiting).

"Sure, they are welcoming me now but I know that wouldn't last. It never does. Soon or later, that will be gone too. So best not to get too used it. That way when I started spending holidays alone again it wouldn't hurt as much."

Frank

Just thinking that part of his brooding is the guilt of how often he wasn't there for those days. That he wasted precious time he could have spending with them. Yes, he didn't know . . . couldn't have known that he wouldn't get more birthdays, more holidays, with them. But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel like he should have known.

Lifetime by Three Days Grace invokes Frank's grief for Maria very well. Partially this part of the lyrics:

Never again! Never again, will I look into the only eyes that knew me feels like a bullet right through me Never again! Never again, will I look into the only ones that knew me. You were the one that I wasn't supposed to lose!

Because Maria was civilian. She should have been safe. Frank expected to go first. He had the dangerous job. It should have been her burying him.

I believe that particular mental voice saying that is even louder on days that should have been happy. Like birthdays and holidays.

Side note: It's likely never a good time to get on the Punisher's bad side but if it something like Lisa's birthday . . . that is a really, really bad time for anyone to incur his wrath.

Michael

Yeah, I can see his memories of childhood birthdays and holidays being a mixed bag. And wanting Anna to have a much better and safer childhood than he did.

Think he has a certain amount of guilt for ruining that for her. Anna was supposed to have a safe, happy childhood. Not her mother dead and her father in prison for her mother's death. A lesser version of Frank's guilt for those eight years of not being there . . . but not as intense since Anna wasn't murdered just after he was released (through his nephew who was probably actually his son was . . . )

Given that Mikey was only charged with manslaughter . . . I think there is good evidence that Allison's death wasn't intentional on his part . . . it's not like the Garda aren't aware the Kinsella are involved in crime (even if they can't prove exactly what crimes are being committed or by whom) . . . so not exactly people predisposed to view Michael in a sympathetic light.

If Bren really did take Mikey out to kill someone for his birthday . . . I think we can be certain of psychological abuse. At least. But I wouldn't put it past Bren to have engaged to every form of abuse toward his children.

My suspicious mind that has watched way too many crime documentaries also wonders if Mikey's mother really left. How do we know that Bren didn't kill her and just claimed that she left him, abandoning two of her three children? Granted, we don't much about his mother and her personality . . . but it is a little odd to take only one child when fleeing an abusive partner.

Headcanon: I think all of the boys have complicated relationships with holidays and birthdays. On the one hand, they all have happy memories for those. But on the other hand, they all also suffered tragic losses that makes those memories bittersweet.

Holidays at St. Agnes were celebrated but there was limited resources and Matt was very firmly in his shell. Frank probably experiences a certain guilt for every holiday or birthday he missed with Maria and the kids while serving overseas. And I doubt Michael found much to celebrate about being in prison for the manslaughter of his wife and not contact with his daughter.

I honestly agree with you on this, though I think theses big days tend to be more depressing than anything for them. It's sad to think about, but I bet every year when the big days roll back around, all three men hate it for different reasons. I put my thoughts for each of our boys below the cut for this and I'm sorry it took so long to answer this one!! There's also Kin spoilers in my Mikey answer, FYI.

For Matt, I imagine holidays and birthdays are bittersweet because at the very least, he has the fond memories of celebrating with his father before he passed to help offset his memories from the orphanage. Because I don't doubt for a minute that Jack didn't do the best he could to give young Matt memorable birthdays and holidays despite them not having much to begin with.

I honestly picture Jack making a boxed cake mix for Matt's birthday every year because he wanted Matt to at least have a cake. And I imagine him always doing his best to get Matt something, even if it was a little present just wrapped in newspaper. I also picture Jack making as much of a feast as he could for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners even though they probably mostly celebrated alone and certainly didn't have much money. Maybe Jack made a roast chicken instead of a turkey every year for Thanksgiving. And at Christmas, I picture the focus being more on the pair of them being together and making their own yearly traditions (and for some reason I personally just always picture Jack making blueberry pancakes Christmas morning--don't ask me why).

But after Jack passed, Matt was just one of many at an orphanage while struggling with his heightened senses. I don't imagine they celebrated birthdays at St. Agnes, so I certainly doubt he ever had a birthday cake again after his dad passed. And I'm sure there was never a feast for Thanksgiving (gluttony is a sin after all), but rather a focus on giving thanks and maybe giving back to the community. Holidays like Christmas and Easter would obviously be focused on the religious meaning and not the "fun" aspect that children generally associate with them--so no presents under the tree or fun egg hunts.

I think as an adult, Matt probably treats his birthday as just any other day (and I have long since had plans for FFTD Reader to eventually do something big for when the timeline reaches his birthday again because this idea deeply saddens me). I think he's grateful that Foggy's family took him in for holidays though, and I think that helped Matt to maybe associate happier memories with the holidays in his adulthood at least, but I think he's also still very aware that they're not his family, too. Which I think continues to add to that bittersweet feeling on holidays.

For Frank, I can't say I know much about his childhood (I haven't binged Punisher enough to remember if much was ever said), but I think he hates holidays and birthdays now. Not only did he certainly miss spending his birthdays and holidays with his family when he was in the Marines, but I'm sure he missed many birthdays for Maria and the kids during that time, too.

But it's not just that he missed those days when he was gone, but now they're all gone. And I promise you that man has not forgotten a single birthday for any of them whenever the day rolls around again. Always thinking about how much older Frank Jr. would be or what new thing Lisa might be into. He might be thinking about how he'd have liked to celebrate Maria with the kids on her birthday. He thinks about them all on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Easter--hell, I'm sure he thinks about them on the Fourth of July because he probably took the kids to firework shows whenever he was home. But now every single one of those days is just so painfully empty for him, no matter what happy memories he had for them in the past. Now it all just hurts him to think about how things were and just reminds him of how lonely he is now.

So yeah, Frank hates birthdays and holidays.

I think Michael has a lot of mixed feelings over birthdays and holidays, too. We don't know too much about his past, but he was raised by Bren--and Bren is an absolute abusive and disgusting piece of shit (we don't even fully know what all he did to Mikey). So did Mikey get cake and presents on his birthday? Probably, but you can guarantee that cake came from Birdie and not his father. If a party was planned, it certainly wasn't because Bren did anything. I'm almost positive I remember something about Mikey being 16 and Bren taking him to go kill someone for the first time--so no, I don't think Bren was celebrating holidays and birthdays with Michael and Jimmy.

But then Michael had his daughter, Anna. And while we know next to nothing about his deceased wife, we do know that Michael loves Anna and was very active in her life. He damn well celebrated her birthdays and holidays--and we know he certainly had the money to do it. He would've never missed the opportunity to spoil her. Until, of course, he goes to prison and misses 8 years of birthdays and holidays with her. And you know he was sitting in that prison thinking about her for every one of those big days and hating himself for missing it, though I get the feeling he also considered it extra punishment. Because whether he really was responsible for Allison's death or not, he does make a comment that he felt he was responsible and that he deserved to serve that prison time.

This was a very sad topic to think about for all of our boys 😭 But at least fanfiction gives us the opportunity to give them happier memories for these days. Because deep down, I know all three of them just want that familial love that was lost or taken from them for one reason or another, and big moments in your life make you painfully aware of when you don't have those people to celebrate with.

[allisondraste]

Writing Deliciously Evil Characters: A Meta Post

Recently in a discord conversation, I was discussing some feedback that I have gotten on my longfic, regarding my portrayal of the odious Rendon Howe.  Arl Howe is a classic, stereotypical “mwahaha” type of villain, which is not the standard in Dragon Age where the Wardens are Grey and the villains are Greyer, in that most of the bad folks aren’t doing bad things for the sake of doing bad things (e.g. Loghain, Meredith, Solas), but rather because they believe what they are doing is “right.”  Howe, on the other hand is a man who betrays his closest allies in the first of what would be a series of awful vies for power during the Fifth Blight that would eventually lead to his death and the destruction of his family.  He’s not the only character who does evil for pleasure/power/personal gain (think Livius Erimond, the Grand Duchess, Corypheus, Danarius blah blah blah).  However, the feedback was about Howe, so I’m going to reference him throughout this post.

Essentially, I have received a number of comments in which people have remarked something to the effect of “The way you write Howe makes me hate him even more.” I love this feedback because that was the plan all along and it’s the equivalent of someone saying “The way you write [insert widely beloved popular hero character here] makes me love them even more!”  I love love love villains, and as much as I am in the camp with everybody else wanting to stab the man in his slimy, weasley guts, I also love writing him.  In my personal opinion he is actually a very good villain, and I’ll go into why in a bit.

For those of you who haven’t encountered my meta posts before, I’m not a writer by trade.  I am a mental health professional, and my background is in psychology.  So when I make posts about “writing” some type of thing, I typically focus on the psychological components of why certain things work for characters, why others don’t, and how to make a character’s actions realistic and true to who they are as a person. That being said: I do speak about sensitive things in my posts, and this one is no different, so I will be putting the rest of this post behind a Read More.  If you are triggered by the mention of trauma and abuse, violence, and mental illness then I would caution you to take care of yourself if you choose continue on!

What is Evil?

If I were to ask you to give me the name of someone who is “evil,” I would bet money that the people everyone lists would be what society likes to coin “psychopaths” or “sociopaths,” and these are individuals who are callous, cruel, and lack consciences, anxiety, and empathy.  They are your serial killers and super villains.  Your unarguably bad, awful, evil people. They were always evil.  Born evil. Raised evil.  They eat, sleep, and breathe evil.  Concentrated evil flows through their veins. They probably also hate puppies and babies.  You all get the picture.

First of all, this is not only an inaccurate understanding of what standard human evil is, but it is also an inaccurate and romanticized view of psychopathy/sociopathy (the words are actually interchangeable, people just like to pretend they are different).  The media loves itself a juicy slice of psychopath.  It’s why we have movies about Ted Bundy and why Discovery ID is a thing. However something that is so incredibly important to note is that regardless of how an evil person presents, “evil” as a thing, a behavior.  It is  not a personality trait, but a societally motivated response. People are not evil; they do evil.  Someone  may be born with a diathesis, or predisposition to do evil things, and then be influenced by environmental factors to enact those evil things, but nobody in the world is born evil. Not. A. Single. Person. In fact, as the Stanford Prison Experiment, conducted by Philip Zimbardo (who also has a wonderful TED Talk  on the Psychology of Evil), shows ANYONE under the right circumstances can do evil.  The Stanford Prison Experiment is actually an excellent example of why the Templar Order is the way it is!  When people of equal standing are placed in a position where one group has perceived power and authority over the other, and when the guilt is diffused across a “group” rather than placed on a single person, horrible things can happen. In fact, more evil is done by groups of people than individuals for this very reason.

I originally had a much longer explanation about how society causes evil, but the post ended up being long anyway and this was unnecessary (but, if you want a post about that in the future, feel free to hit up my inbox or otherwise just check out that Zimbardo talk linked here).  

My point is that in order to write compelling villains it is important to understand what drove them to reach the point of atrocity they have reached, why they do as they do.  A villain who you cannot answer those questions for is going to fall flat.  Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that you excuse a villain’s actions or make apologies for what they do.  Evil is evil regardless of intention, however, knowing the explanation for the behavior can help you capture it in a story.

Why Villains Fall Flat

If my readers are anything like me, then there have been times in the consumption of media that they encounter a really awful bad person who you just kind of feel “blah” about.  They are supposed to be your protagonists’ mortal enemy, but their defeat falls flat and feels empty and anticlimactic.  Sometimes in the horror genre, authors take the “telling less” approach regarding their villains because that increases the “oooh” creepy feeling that they want to have.  This is actually really really effective for a horror film.  It is not so effective when writing action/adventure, romance, etcetera.  Why? I think that it can be pretty well summed up by the following quote by existential psychologist Rollo May:

“Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.”

Essentially, in order to truly hate a villain and to be both disgusted by their actions and thrilled by their defeat, you have to care about them in some way shape or form.  You have to be invested in their “origin story” and/or care about someone who is closely tied to them or affected by them.  It’s why Rendon Howe is such a good villain, and why playing the Cousland origin and meeting his children makes you hate him even that much more.  When you play the Cousland origin, you get to see the Arl through the eyes of someone who doesn’t know that he is bad.  Rendon is aloof, but ultimately respectful and he seems to have the implicit approval dear old dad (they were war buddies after all! Fought in the rebellion together!!).  Then, he has the family murdered in their sleep in a premeditated act of sheer ambition.  We get to see the death of a young woman and her son, and watch as Warden Cousland leaves her parents behind to die.  It’s tragic, it’s all Howe’s fault, and it’s effective.  Then you have this opportunity to meet Howe’s eldest son Nathaniel who is so bitter and full of rage that *you* the “hero” destroyed his family.  He can’t fathom his father doing something evil enough to warrant what happened to the Howes.  He was never that bad!  He just got caught up in politics!  He picked the wrong side in a war!  He tortured prisoners because the country was at war!.  His bedroom was  next to the torture dungeons because politics and war! I’m not saying that Nate has the most accurate view of his dad -- the man certainly wasn’t winning any father of the year awards, after all, a fact which Nathaniel eventually comes to realize (“maybe I shouldn’t defend the man who found the screams of prisoners to be soothing bedtime ambient noise” -- okay I’m exaggerating so sue me).  What I am saying is that in  listening to Nathaniel speak about his father and his family, we learn more about Howe, his life and his motivations.  We realize there is nothing more than a man behind all that evil, a man who has a family (and a family in which the other members are actually good and decent at that) and we are able to see that maybe he could have been good had things gone differently for him.  Again, it’s effective.

What Causes People to Do Evil?

As I mentioned before, just as with greatness, people are not born evil.  Evil is something that people have thrust upon them, and it is honestly really tragic if you look back and see all of the individual steps that led to a person becoming the villainous bastard you know and love to hate.  There are many different reasons a person might do evil things, but it typically falls into the theory we psychology nerds call the “diathesis-stress model,” which posits that certain people are born with a “diathesis” or a predisposition for a certain type of behavior.  In the case of an evil person it might be that the person has an irritable temperament or ambitious, selfish, narcissistic, aggressive, deviant, manipulative, etcetera tendencies.  When these people are placed under a stressor (such as, but not limited to: abuse, trauma, modeling of crime or deviant behavior, desperation, loss, etc.), the darker sides of those qualities comes out.  

NOTE: This is not to say that everyone who has these qualities and undergoes a stressor is going to become evil.  This is not to say that abuse/trauma/etc. causes evil.  In fact, most people who are traumatized do not go on to traumatize others; however, if you look at everyone who has done evil, almost all of them have done so because they grew up in an environment where such evil was the norm, and they learned nothing better.  They are people who were pushed by desperation.  They are people who ultimately have a story that is not “Oh, they’re just bad.”

Evil is the perfect storm of nature and nurture that, unfortunately, some people are not able to escape.  

Sometimes, it’s easy to care about villains because their intentions and motivations are very overtly stated.  For example:

Loghain is motivated by a very rational fear of the Orlesians and Cailan’s closeness to them.  We learn all that Loghain’s family went through during the Orlesian occupation, what happened to his mother.  We also can toy around with the possibility that his decision to quit the field at Ostagar was less obvious treason and more obviously pragmatic.  This of course doesn’t justify anything he does (you know, like striking a deal with the magisters to sell the Alienage elves into slavery or allowing Howe to, uh, torture people, what have you).

Meredith - See my above discussion of the Stanford Prison Experiment, but also consider her temperament and the trauma she was exposed to as a child with her sister who had magic and caused the death of 70 people including her family.  Is it okay that she abuses her power and abuses mages? Hell no… but we have motivation.

Solas - *sigh* Don’t make me do this one.  We get it. He has to RIGHT the WRONG. It’s his DUTY.  Cool story, still evil. (disclaimer: I love Solas. Ma vhenan. But I look at him with a critical eye when I choose to love him.  That’s important.)

Sometimes the motivations are not so clear.  I’m not particularly inclined to care about Corypheus other than I’d kinda like for him to get away from me with that demon army.  I don’t really give a flying duck about Erimond other than he is, as Cole so succinctly puts: an asshole.  There are lots of characters like that, and honestly it’s good to have a few of them sprinkled about a bit.  They’re not particularly fun to write or compelling to read (in my personal opinion), but hey! Your mileage may vary.

And now we’re back to Howe (Maker help me I never thought I’d be doing a  meta post about this awful man, but here we are).  He, and actually most if not all the minor villains in DAO, is actually really good despite his motivations not being so blatantly obvious as Loghain’s or Ulfric’s or any of the others you face in that game.  When he says, “I deserved more!” at the end, without further thought about the topic, it’s easy to say “God what a power grubbing weasley little snake of a man,” or a “cold codfish arse,” as one of my friends aptly described him.  However when you look at his background… it’s not so simple as all that. Just a few notes:

According to the lore Rendon has two fathers: Padric, who disappeared with the Wardens never to be seen again and who Rendon never forgave, and Tarleton who had no sense for loyalty and sided with the Orlesians in the rebellion and was ultimately hanged.

Young Rendon, despite his parentage chose to join the Rebellion with his besties: Bryce Cousland and Leonas Bryland.  At some point, he becomes injured and is no longer able to fight.  He is cared for by Leonas’ sister Eliane, who would later become Lady Howe.

There seems to be a lot of strife between Howe and his wife’s family, so much so that Eliane’s parents were even cold and critical of the Howe kids, Nathaniel in particular (maybe because he looks the most like Rendon, who knows?).  He expected to receive some of the Bryland wealth, but that did not happen (likely because he did not actually love his wife and Eliane’s family had no great love for him.  As far as marrying a Howe in Thedas, it would be much like marrying a Greyjoy or a Frey or a Bolton in Game of Thrones.  It’s not a family anyone particularly wanted to be associated with)

It is likely that Howe became very insecure and upset by the success of his friends, even resentful of them.  Handsome Bryce, his promotion to Teyrn,  and his Pirate Wife.  Leonas and his lovely [wealthy] family.  It made him miserable, and accompanied with all of the things that had been modeled for him by his family… it was not much of a stretch for him to go darkside.

So…What Was The Point of this Allison? Why Have You Written This Hellishly Long Post?

1.) I wanted to.  It was fun for me. This is how I spend my free time apparently.

2.) I wanted to provide some basic pointers for writing believable, but undoubtedly bad villains, and I felt like it needed context.

The Tips...Get On With Them Already. Please. We’re Begging You.  TL;DR!

1.) “Evil” is not a personality trait, it is a behavior.  People are not born evil.  They are led to do evil.

2.) Romanticized psychopaths/sociopaths are boring.

3.) In order to develop hatred for a character, you have to make the audience care about them, and the ways to do so are endless.

4.) Evil is the combination of a predisposition to do bad things plus some catalyst that causes someone to go darkside.  Nature and Nurture working together to make a twisted thing.

5.) Grey villains are abundant and very cool. Their motivations cloud their morality.

6.) Not-so-grey villains are also abundant, and can also have the potential to be very cool or the potential to be glorified Scooby-Doo villains (“And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for you meddling WARDENS”)

7.) The line between a compelling “mwahaha” and a bleh “mwahaha” lies in the character’s backstory and motivations.  It lies in the audience caring in some way, shape, or form about that person.

8.) Rendon Howe is a character who, in my honest opinion was done right.  People loathe him.  He’s absolutely detested. Why? Because he’s a “cold codfish arse”? Maybe.  I posit that it’s because we have enough information to care about him.

Thank you for coming to this TED Talk, you all have been wonderful.

[princeescaluswords]

What do you suppose drew Marin Morrell to psychiatry? Do you think she experienced something traumatic growing up that required her to see a counselor and that sparked her interest?

I think that what drew Marin to psychological counseling is the same reason she does anything: To Maintain Balance.

(Caveat: while I have taken courses in psychology, they were over two decades ago. I won't claim expertise in this area and any speculation I make should be considered valid for entertainment purposes only.)

One of the things I find interesting is that when Morrell interacts with Scott and his pack, she's never spends any effort on futile recovery, by which I mean counseling the characters to get "back to normal." She has insight into the supernatural, so it's apparent she understands that once they enter the supernatural world, there's no going back for them. (This is in line with one of Teen Wolf's themes: what you know makes you responsible.) She focuses on providing with the tools to find their own balance.

"Lydia, what's it gonna take to get you to open up?" Morrell is introduced to us through Lydia's visits to her in Abomination (2x04) and Venomous (2x05). Lydia is sent there by her mother to deal with the aftereffects of the horrific trauma Peter visited upon her on the lacrosse pitch in Formality (1x11) and, unbeknownst to everyone involved, Peter's ongoing possession. We understand later that Morrell is probably aware of what exactly happened on that field to some extent. What's really interesting to me is that Morrell never asks about the accident, remaining entirely focused on coaxing Lydia out of the mean-girl pose that Lydia uses as protection -- epitomized by the wonderful make-up-as-armor scene in The Tell (1x05). Lydia is only going to be able to come to grips with what happened is if she openly participates in the world around her. This is advice which Lydia takes, asking questions and demanding answers, even going so far as to show up in Allison's bedroom to do so. Unfortunately, the rest of the pack is too consumed with 'protecting' her -- they have yet to learn the lesson that there is no "chance to get back to normal" -- and this leaves Lydia open to Peter's manipulation.

"If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?" Again, when Morrell is talking to Stiles at the beginning of Battlefield (2x11), she's not focused on forcing Stiles to be honest with her. She's more interested in giving Stiles the tools he needs for what's coming. She allows him to lie to her, to keep the illusion of control, but she also suggests that he has to be prepared to endure as well. As he will find out by the end of the episode, going back to his pre-Bite desires of wanting to be first line and pursuing Lydia is no longer an option. The supernatural world is coming for the people he loves, and he has to have a better tactic ready than "ignoring a problem until it goes away."

"Malia, you said something about guilt the other day." Morrell focuses on guilt when dealing with Malia because of the details of her life. She doesn't try to argue that guilt serves no purpose and Maila should try to banish: it's real and permanent. In fact, she reinforces the physical nature of guilt "visceral," which means it's something, like learning to control the shift, that she has to master through practice -- practice that joining with Scott and his pack can give her.

"Why are you bothering with me, Scott, when you know the clock is ticking?" While this sounds harsh, it is actually sound advice, and a complement to Deaton's earlier advice "Don't stop them; lead them." Finding the identity of the Darach is only part of the problem; a way to stop the conflict in Beacon Hills is by Scott accepting what others have already realized: he's going to be an alpha. Scott keeps looking for a way to save everyone without his eyes turning red, fighting against another responsibility he doesn't want and didn't ask for such as when he rejects the power in Frayed (3x05) and Currents (3x07). His power will remain only a potential that Deucalion fears, as he mentioned in Tattoo (3x01), until Scott chooses to embrace it -- harkening all the way back to the trailer for Season 3A when he drowns the child to become the man. Morrell's cold hostility is meant to impel Scott into making the decision he already knows he has to make but doesn't want to.

Morrell's guidance always has one goal: to help these teenagers not only accept what has already happened but to adapt to these events by moving forward. Regret, nostalgia, delusion, and hesitation is just going to cause more trauma; confidence is going to help them keep their feet, even as the ground is shifting beneath them.

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

A bit about me:

I'm Allison James. I'm a social, carer and protector. I'm a intersex female. She/her pronouns for me. I'm 19. I'm a cyclops ball jointed doll. I love interacting with others and taking care of others and giving support. I love to talk, heh. ^^ I love animals and fashion. I like media about animals and psychology and neurodiversity and books and anime and so so so so sooo much stuff!!

I split off when the body was in its mid teen years, and was dormant for a long while but this year I came out of it! I think I went dormant due to abuse. Particularly our mother. I think I needed to exist to help interact with our mother. Our moms abuse got worse and we were going to a lot of mental hospitals and those were traumatizing and i think that's what made me dormant

Now I'm stronger and I defended us against our mom the other day. I don't want to go dormant again. I want to be here. to help. to live.

[kazzyboy]

Andriel As Gamers (Kinda)

Andrew (@HolierThnThou03)

- Personal channel, separate from his team/exy life, so he can post whatever the fuck he wants

- And what does that mean?

- Chaos. Pure, unbridled chaos.

(Like the notes I made for this spontaneously at five this morning)

- Either shows up to stream in a complete, put-together outfit, carefully-done messy eyeliner, fresh out of the Maserati; or shows up in sweats and one of Neil’s old Jurassic Park shirts. He has three of his piercings in. One of his socks is missing. There is no in between

- Barely responds to chat, except when someone’s being fucking annoying (and not in normal fan sense, in horrible person sense) to publicly pause his game, stare directly at the screen, and psychologically demolish them for ten straight minutes. The mods (Typically Renee, Nicky, and Robin) calm everyone down and give the user a warning. If they say something horrible like that again, they’ll be kicked and blocked. No one ever gets to the second bit.

- Stares directly into the camera when he dies like he’s in The Office

- Mostly horror games, occasionally aesthetically-driven Minecraft builds

- Sort of stiffens and goes wide-eyed when he’s well and truly scared

- More often than not does story-oriented games

- Gets cancelled for saying shit like,”Disgusting. Horrible. Kill yourself.” When he gets nervous while playing horror games (except nearly everyone reacts like “he can’t be cancelled!!!” Which he can’t, because he was telling the game to kill itself, which his poor mods had to explain for several months after the initial pandemic.)

- Sarcastic, poetically-driven commentary. Gets memed for it, constantly (“Humor be like-“ picture of Andrew, blank-faced, while someone gets swallowed whole by an alien on camera,”the inner workings of my mind are an enigma”)

- Leaves randomly, midstream, for snacks. Doesn’t even pause the game. His chat goes insane every time

- Guest stars include Renee, Robin, King, Kevin, and occasionally Nicky and Aaron

- @/BetsyTheBee shows up in chat sometimes and no one knows who the fuck it is, but he thinks it’s funny so he waits till people start asking if they’re dating to tell them she is literally his therapist and basically his mother.

- Streams and posts lengthy, unedited content (bc he’s lazy, but he says it’s because his editor sucks. No one knows who it is. It’s Neil. Neil did not sign up for this responsibility.)

- Rock music constantly in the background

- Occasionally does a crime podcast with various Foxes, called Gravedigger -The High Road To No One

- Constantly the victim of copyright strikes, thanks to his posters, music, and shirts, and he wins every time. Constantly claims it’s the reason he chose to major in Criminal Law (or whatever it was, cheeky little shit)

- He purposely holds his controller weird when he uses one to piss people off

- Coffee. Just, so much coffee.

- Cries at the end of Rrdr2

Neil (@TheFoxSaysNJos10)

- Semi-professional channel, in which it was supposed to be professional but the PR managers had to fight Neil’s loud mouth and lost

- Constantly argues with chat (His mods, Allison, Matt, Dan, and occasionally Andrew ((undercover)), have to block so many people bc they actually try and start shit over his jokes. Not because Neil cared that they were insulting him, but because if they mentioned the Foxes he’d fucking kill them. And get away with it.)

- Professional exy player for Pro Palmetto State Foxes, Coached by Dan and Captained by Kevin Day (you can’t @ me I’ll die on this hill)

- Promotes stuff for the team by wearing/using it on stream/in interviews/events. To this day, it’s a mystery how no one realizes he wore Andrew’s hoodie three consecutive interviews in a row, his sweatpants in another, and Andrew’s stuff is literally all over his apartment (from random visits, made up of broken traffic laws and horrific gas prices)

- His poor, poor PR managers. ManagerS. There’s more than one. The trauma is too powerful

- Clips from exy games, interviews, and practice (Him and the Foxes sometimes react to compilations, from fails, funnies, and fights)

- Every time someone asks about his scars his story gets more ridiculous. He got smacked in the face with a flying jellyfish at the zoo when he was seven. He became self-aware before he was born and took a chunk out of god’s hand, so he was cursed. He tripped on a crack and broke his mother’s back. Neil what the fuck

- Collabs with Kevin’s conspiracy channel, posted at three in the morning somehow everywhere? There are a million mugs on the desk. Are they in a news station? A single light is on? What are they trying to summon???

- When he does post gaming videos, they have like a millions cuts thanks to all of his cursing, to the point that people think they’re actually just clips of him playing the same game

- He does randomly stream, which is beyond the power of professionalism

- He normally plays shooter games, and is deathly attached to Halo.

- No one wants to play multiplayer with him, though, even online strangers, because his insults are unnervingly accurate. How did you know I have forty eight tea cans on my desk. Lurking. Jail

- Sir!! He once devotes an entire three hour stream to playing games with Sir, to the point that he occasionally does Sir Sundays

- Plays random games out of nowhere (Wobbledogs, puzzle games, literal board games that he drags others into)

- Neil doesn’t get a mic on his headphones bc he’s too loud.

- Their fans constantly ask for Andrew and Neil to collab, thinking it’ll be a total bomb show, since they haven’t talked since college and they hated each other

- Because they are completely unaware of the fact that Andrew and Neil have been married since their third year of professional exy, thanks to one too many unauthorized hospital visits

- And no one knows that they’re waiting for Andrew’s five-year contract with the New York Lions to expire so he can move in with Neil back in Columbia and become a co-coach for the professional Foxes

- All the while, Andrew is helping Renee with a Shelter For Homeless And Troubled Youth, called The Fox Den.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Knowing that you do amazing every single time when it comes to recommendations, I'm looking for fics that hit home how fucked up what Kate Argent did to Derek was. I've read a couple that just missed by a hair to encompass what I was looking for. Like Derek feeling safe and close enough with his pack to finally mention the seducing part only for the pack to worriedly point out how abhorrent that she did that on top of everything else is. The pack worriedly and frantically making sure he knows it doesn't matter if he is a guy, pointing out he was 16 and she was 21. The pack reminding him he is loved, thanking him for being so open about this and Derek coming to terms that it's not his fault!!!! Friendship bonding between Derek and Allison would be a stellar bonus. I know there are a lot of great fics out there. I just want the right balance of enough whump/hurt but so much more comfort/support and verifiable happy ending even if that is just progress in the healing process.

I don't know if these fit exactly. It sounds like you should try and write this fic! I'd read it.

Leave The Trauma Behind Us (it's okay to not be okay) by FluffyAzzy

(1/1 I 1,197 I Teen I Sterek)

A trigger: A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma.

;

In other words, ash has a very prominent smell and a very traumatic event linked to it. And Derek is definitely not okay.

But sometimes that in itself is okay.

Gently by darkmagess

(1/1 I 2,547 I Teen I No Pairing)

Having already confided in Stiles once about his past assaults, Derek comes to him again, this time to talk about Kate.

9. Fire Away by brokenes

(1/1 I 4,992 I Teen I Sterek)

When hunters take Derek back to his family house, he struggles to shake the ghosts of the past. No one seems to be more aware of his struggles than Stiles, so he asks him if he is okay, until his response finally changes, and he breaks. But Stiles is there, so maybe he can be okay again.

Big Bad Wolf by Nival_Vixen

(9/9 I 11,758 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles knows that someone needs and trusts him, and it's not his father or Scott - it's Derek.

After he discovers that Kate's kidnapped Derek, Stiles tracks him down, and with the help of the pack, Stiles gets his big bad wolf back.

Fully Grown by thedaughterofkings

(13/13 I 36,305 I Teen i Sterek)

The pup smells of summer, of heat in the air, lightning in the sky.

No amount of growling sends him running; he just keeps standing there, staring. He's no threat though, smells of sparks but not of fire, no taste of ashes on the tongue.

Satisfied, he turns around, leaving the pup behind, ignoring the acid scent of anxiety and fear that suddenly fills the air.

~*~

Stumbling across a wolf in the preserve is not what Stiles expects when he goes for a run the last night before school starts again. But even if the wolf acts more intelligent than a mere animal, he can’t have anything to do with Stiles’ unusual soulmark, four vicious scratches down his forearm, can he?

And what is Kate Argent doing back in Beacon Hills for the first time since the Hale Fire?

[simonsrosebud]

what if kevin & dalton had been set up instead of meeting on their own?

(pls accept this as apology for not posting any kalton for MONTHS)

kevin doesn’t have a date to the banquet.

normally, it’s fine.  he’s taken allison or renee to the last few, as friends.  but this year, renee has something going on with gwen, their freshman dealer who is somehow only a year younger than himself.  and allison got scooped up by ricky, the other freshman dealer. 

“what happened to us being dates?  i thought it was unspoken?”

allison shrugs and pushes her hair behind her shoulder.  she has her arms crossed as she leans against the doorframe to kevin’s bedroom.  “sure, but ricky has a crush on me and it’s fun playing around with it.”

kevin sends her a look.  “ew, don’t look at me like that.  as if, he’s like a baby to me.”  kevin opens his mouth, but gets cut off.  “you could get a date easily, it’s fine, we’ll help.”

and she’s right.  later that afternoon she shoots a text to the team groupchat.

allison:  kevin needs a date, any and all genders welcome.  must be hot, good at socializing, and able to withstand his complete lack of care for them esp once he starts talking exy. 

allison:  i expect a nominee from each of you.  good luck soldiers.

and kevin’s going to kill that girl.

the freshmen don’t answer, of course.  all of their friends are freshmen, and they’re also just too scared to respond to the foxes sometimes.

aaron responds first, suggesting he just take one of the vixens.  neil chimes in by saying that marissa girl is fucking social alright.

kevin doesn’t get why allison can’t just set him up with one of her friends.  she has a strict rule against any of the foxes dating her non-exy friends, but it’s just an banquet. 

matt comes in last, but instead of the groupchat it’s just to kevin.

matt:  i have a friend named dalton.  he’s in his masters to become a professor but he’s chill. he’s nice and fun too, the best guy i know

kevin knows he shouldn’t be shallow, but...

kevin:  picture?

matt responds almost instantly.  a picture of his friend sitting across from him at starbucks on his laptop.  he looks caught off guard, like matt took the picture without warning.

is he with him right now?

kevin:  maybe.

he drops his head back and rubs his eyes.

an hour later, the door opens.  neil comes in first.  matt is on his heels, and someone else trails in behind him.  kevin sits up.

neil looks at him.  in french, he says, “i wasn’t a part of this.”

kevin stands, and responds back in french.  “you let him in.”  neil shrugs at that, and continues down to the bedroom.

matt nods at him with a smug smile.  “do you still have your psych 101 workbook?  i have to take it next semester and i don’t wanna buy it.”

kevin frowns.  is he not going to introduce his friend?  “uh, yeah.”  he turns to his desk and rummages through the drawers to pull it out.

“oh, this is dalton, by the way.  he’s a friend from sophomore year.”

there it is.  kevin turns back, book in hand, and nods at dalton.

dalton smiles, calm and charming, and tilts his head a bit.  “he’s lying.  i was his TA.”

kevin gives a smile.  it’s small and faint, and mostly fake.  he can’t help it.  he doesn’t care for small talk like this.  how old does that make dalton?

also, how did matt befriend his TA?  kevin’s never spoken a word to the majority of his own.

“can’t imagine having to deal with him in class,” he says, jokingly.

matt doesn’t defend it, just shrugs and moves on.  “hey, did you find a date to the banquet yet?”  he wiggles his eyebrows.  

kevin’s gonna kill him.  he stuffs his hands into his hoodie pocket so he can ball his fists.  “not yet, no.”

he nods, nudges dalton.  “kevin’s on the exy team, too.  he’s the only one without a date to the winter banquet this year,” he says.  “allison, remember allison?  she’s on a manhunt to find someone she approves of for him.”

dalton considers it.  “that sounds like allison.”

kevin refrains from frowning.  “have you met her?”

dalton has, just one time when he and matt went to a football game this fall and made a pit stop to matt’s room.  it’s also when he met neil, albeit very briefly.  neil had too much going on to give him the time of day.

“once, a month or so ago.”

when matt and dalton get into the car, dalton turns halfway in his seat to fully face matt.  “he doesn’t have a date?”  matt shakes his head.  “is he into guys at all?”

matt glances at him.  “yeah, he’s bisexual.”

dalton raises his eyebrows.  “um, hello?!  why didn’t you set him up with me?!”

matt frowns and shoots his friend a look.  “why do you think we just went over?!  i took psychology freshman year!”

dalton’s gonna kill him.  “but you didn’t say anything about me to him.”  matt rolls his eyes and waves him off, and dalton sits back in his seat.

“i know kevin, i know what i’m doing.”

he crosses his arms.  “you’re the worst wingman i’ve ever met.”

but low and behold, kevin texts matt a few hours after his visit.

kevin:  how do u know dalton would want to be my date to the banquet?

matt:  bc he literally told me so

kevin:  fine, ask him if he wants to go and i’ll take him.

when dalton climbs on the bus behind matt, it takes him only a moment to spot kevin and make his way over.

the banquet is five hours away, so the foxes and their dates are changing into their formalwear once they arrive.

dalton has joggers on, and a long sleeve henley that’s a size too big.  his collarbone hangs out as the collar hangs low.  he wears a soft smile, and pushes a hand back through his hair. 

he looks hot.

dalton looks even more hot dressed up in his suit.  he keeps at kevin’s side at first, and talks to both matt and dan from time to time.  allison even pops up once to inquire about him, since he wasn’t one of her picks.

dalton and matt seem to joke around like they’re best friends.  but he doesn’t ever remember matt mentioning him.

then again, if kevin had friends outside of exy, he may not introduce them to the foxes, either.

he finds his way back to kevin’s side at their table, where he’s talking to a trojan player.  after a while, kevin turns to him.  “you don’t have to stick by my side, if you don’t want.”  he almost feels bad.

dalton shrugs and smiles.  “what if i want to stick by your side?”  the way that kevin reacts shows that he wasn’t expecting that, and dalton’s smile turns shy.  “um, i don’t mind, really.  i’d feel bad leaving you alone.  i’m your date.”  he takes a sip of his drink.

“okay.”  it barely leaves kevin’s lips, but it’s enough to make dalton happy.

“you can even talk exy to me, if you want.  i can pretend i know how it works.”

kevin’s heart seizes.  “you don’t know exy?”

dalton grins.  “i’ve never even seen a game.”  he leans closer.  “teach me?”

so he does.  for the next half hour, they sit and kevin blabbers on, and dalton listens and asks questions.  and then they sidetrack somehow to talking about marvel movies and what they suspect will happen in the next spiderman movie.

dalton swears to die on the grave that peter parker is a bisexual icon.

“you can take that title, instead, though.”  his grin is cheeky.  kevin lightly kicks his ankle and rolls his eyes, but he’s heavily amused.

“what about you?  what are you?”

“gay,” he shrugs.  “not much to it.”

“did you… when you told people, how did they react?”

dalton’s head tilts just a bit, and his smile starts to fade.  “some people don’t like it, but it was fine for the most part.”  and after a moment.  “why, are you okay?”

kevin nods.  

dalton doesn’t believe it.  and he supposes he doesn’t know kevin enough to say that, but there’s something about the way kevin doesn’t verbally respond to it that sits weird in his head.

he props his chin in his hand.  “i told my roommates i was gay the first week of freshman year.  my roommate knew, but we had two suitemates, and one of them kinda stopped talking to me after that if he could help it.”  he flicks his eyes up to meet kevin’s.  “my uncle asks me at every family function if i’ve got a girl yet.  he’s known for seven years, now,” he says.  “and thanksgiving is now hosted at my house because my grandmother told my mother that i was unwelcome in hers.”

harsh.  

“i’m sorry.”

he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to say, really.  he barely has family as it is, but he can’t imagine losing them now because of something so small.

but dalton just shrugs a shoulder.  “it’s okay.  think about it this way, if i was still in the closet i wouldn’t be your date right now.”  he cracks a smile.  always smiling.

that’s when kevin notices just how close their faces are.  and how he keeps glancing at dalton’s mouth.  he sits back.  not here.

dalton goes to the bathroom, and matt takes his seat.  “how’s it going with dalton?”

kevin frowns.  “fine, why?  did he say something?”

matt’s face is indescribable.  “no, but i see you guys getting all close and stuff.  just flirt with him, dude!  he obviously likes you.”

yeah right.  “i-i don’t think so.  he’s just here because i didn’t have a date.”

matt drops his head for a second.  “kevin, after you first met him he scolded me for not setting you two up.  he doesn’t watch exy, and he’s not here for the famous kevin day, just give him a chance.”  kevin looks to the side, where dalton’s on his way back talking with dan at his side.  they’re getting closer, so he talks fast and quiet.  he stands.  “don’t fuck this up, he’s hot and nice,” he whispers, and grins when dan slides into his side.

“we wanna dance.  boys?”  she looks expectantly at both kevin and matt.  matt doesn’t have a choice, but he’d never say no anyway.

dan pulls kevin up and shoves him lightly into dalton, who catches a hand on his waist.  kevin wants to squirm out of it, but not because he doesn’t like dalton, or dalton’s touch.  just because the idea of liking dalton scares him a bit.

but dalton lets go when he finds his balance.

“i don’t- i can’t dance.”

“yeah right, i’ve seen you at eden’s before.”

when he was belligerently drunk.

“you don’t have to.” dalton’s voice is soft behind him.

matt slides his gaze to kevin.  don’t fuck this up.

he turns.  how has his life come to this?  “no.  i will, if you want to.”

dalton grins, lopsided and happy.  “yeah?”

he hopes he doesn’t regret it.  “yeah.” 

so dalton takes him by the hand and leads him after matt and dan.  the majority of the foxes are in the midst of the crowd as well, but they don’t pay them any mind.  there’s enough people that kevin can pretend he’s at eden’s.

kevin is a terrible dancer.  dalton notices it right away and laughs.  when kevin gives him a look he says, “follow my lead.  just sway a little.  nod your head to the music,” kevin looks up at him while he dances, but catches dalton’s eyes instead.

he looks away and falls out of rhythm.  “sorry,” he mumbles.

“it’s okay.”  dalton gently takes kevin’s hands and puts them on his waist.  it feels illegal.  his hands feel like dead weights, he doesn’t know what to do.

is he blacking out right now?

but then dalton’s moving his hips and dancing, and laughing.  he’s having fun and kevin wants to have fun too.

he moves his hands from dalton’s waist to around his neck, and dalton hesitates with his hands near kevin’s hips until kevin nods.

dalton’s fingers dip into his hips.  his one finger taps along the beat of whatever song is playing, while he lightly sings along and bounces back and forth.

it’s dark on this side of the court with the exception of some colored lights darting around.  the designated dancing spot.

kenna is kissing jack in the crowd.

kevin looks back to dalton, singing with a smile plastered on his face.

no one would notice.

kevin’s fingers twitch against dalton’s neck.  but someone could.

he’s already out, but that doesn’t mean he’s kissed a boy in public yet.

he drops his arms.  “i need some air.”

dalton let’s go, “are you okay?”  but he just nods and takes off, off of the court and down the hall to the locker rooms.  the foxes have their things in the away men’s locker room.

kevin sinks down on the bench.  he plays with the bracelet around his wrist, courtesy of betsy in case he needs something to fidget with.  opposed to panicking, that is.

that woman is never wrong.

kevin likes dalton, that’s not in question nor is it really the problem.  the problem is that he doesn’t know what his problem is.  if it’s what people will say when they see that he truly is into men.

being told something versus seeing proof that it’s real are two different things.  he’s learned that, dealt with it more than once.  the last time it was the proof of the raven’s bullying and abuse.  being told that kevin and riko’s relationship isn’t what the fans fantasize it is versus then seeing proof that it isn’t anything that they thought, for example.

kevin had to deal with backlash like that for months after the raven’s investigation post championship game.  him being bi isn’t the same, of course, but he doesn’t know how to predict the behaviors of his fans.  he doesn’t know what they’ll support or not.

but he likes dalton.

“hey.”

one of the freshmen, eva, stands in the doorway.  “stop running 

you don’t have to be scared of people seeing you dance, you know.”

kevin frowns.  “i don’t care about dancing.”

“yeah, but you care about dancing with your date.”  they cross their arms and lean against the doorframe.  “no one cares.  half this team is a little gay, anyway.”

once they’ve changed for the night in the hotel room, dalton hesitates from where he stands by the bed.  “are you okay?  you seemed a little jittery all night, i just... i wanna make sure everything’s fine, i guess.”

kevin looks up, but doesn’t answer. 

stop being so afraid of everything.

he opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t know what he can say.

he sighs.

dalton’s standing there, arms crossed, concerned.  kevin swallows his fears as he makes his way across the room until he’s standing right in front of dalton, and slides a hand behind his neck to kiss him.

dalton hums, surprised.  after a moment he brings a hand to kevin’s chest, and there’s a second where kevin thinks hes going to be pushed away.  instead his fingers dig into his hoodie and he pulls kevin closer.

dalton’s smiling as kevin pulls away.  “about time,” he mumbles, and kisses him again.

the back of dalton’s knees hit the bed by accident, but he drops down to sit and gently pulls kevin by the strings of his hoodie.

kevin isn’t new to sex, so to speak.  he’s not the most experienced, but he’s had his fun.  it’s the only reason he’s confident enough to scoot dalton further back and kiss him into the mattress.

dalton wraps an ankle around the back of kevin’s knee.  he curls his fingers into his hair and leans his head back when kevin kisses down his neck.

they wake up to kevin’s phone blaring.  matt’s calling.

kevin only acknowledges the fact that he has his arm around dalton for a second before he checks the time.

they’re late.

wymack’s gonna kill him.

kevin sits up and shakes dalton as he answers his phone.  “hey you guys are awake right?  coach is pulling the bus around then we’re loading up.”

kevin’s out of the bed and throwing his shirt on, tossing dalton’s hoodie to him.  “yeah, we’re coming.”  dalton’s eyes go wide and that kicks him into gear as he realizes the situation.

they look a mess as they run around.  they’ve really only got one pair of clothes and their suits to frantically shove into their bags.  kevin pulls his sneakers on without socks and dalton’s got his on with the laces all undone as they jog down the hall.

at least they brushed their teeth.

dalton drops down to tie his shoes in the elevator, and when he stands kevin takes the liberty of carding his fingers through his hair.

he shrugs.  “bed head.”

dalton can’t help but smile.  “might wanna pull this up a little,” he mumbles, and that’s when kevin realizes that he’d accidentally put on dalton’s long sleeve henley.  the shirt he’d been wearing last night before it got dropped to the floor.

dalton pushes the shirt up so it’s not hanging lower on kevin’s collarbone.  he’s got a nice hickey that needs hiding.

“they’re never going to let this go,” kevin says.

dalton leans back against the elevator wall.  “i’ve got some juice on matt if you ever need.”

kevin smiles, just a little.  despite him worrying all during the banquet, last night was so good.  he doesn’t want it to end as soon as they step off of the bus.  he doesn’t want dalton to be a one night stand, he doesn’t think.

he takes a step forward and kisses dalton against the wall once more.  he pulls away when the elevator dings.

matt smiles to himself as he watches them come around the corner.  he tries to tame it, at least.

kevin and dalton are the last on the bus.  kevin’s spot in the back is open, so they go back there.  dalton toes off his shoes as soon as he sits down.

kevin is on the aisle side.  his chest skips when dalton’s hand lands gently on his thigh.  he doesn’t hate it.

it’s dinner time when they get back to a rainy palmetto.  dalton had fallen asleep on kevin’s shoulder a half hour ago, and jolts awake when matt whoops and shouts to get out of his way so he can run off the bus for the bathroom.

“sorry,” dalton says quietly, scratching his head and yawning into the back of his hand.

“i didn’t mind.” kevin stretches his legs and pulls his shoes on.

dalton’s car is in the gated stadium parking lot.  kevin walks him to it, head ducked because all he’s got on is dalton’s henley.  no one anticipated rain.

dalton turns after unlocking his car, and sticks a ripped off folded note into kevin’s palm.  kevin puts it right into his pocket for safe keeping.  “so are you gonna call me after this?”  dalton’s hair is falling wet over his  forehead.

he nods, mouths the word yeah but nothing comes out.  and dalton can’t help himself, so he takes a step forward and kisses kevin one last time, gentle as he hesitates with his fingers hovering over his cheek.

kevin’s  got nothing to lose at this point, so he curls his hand alone dalton’s neck and steps closer.

he only pulls away because the team is most likely watching, and someone whistles.  “i’ll call you,” he nods.  he shoves his hands into his pockets and ignores the rain as he watches dalton drive out of the parking lot.

he turns towards the maserati and sees andrew shakes his head.  kevin looks down at himself.  he’s halfway to soaked.  not ideal for such an expensive car. which leaves one option.

kevin slides into the front seat of his father’s car.

wymack can’t wipe the smug look from his face.  “so-“

“no.”

[i-like-writing-stuff]

seconds [five hargreeves x reader]

request: Hello, I saw that we could send in requests. I was wondering if u could do a 5 fic (with Same AU about them having worked in commission)Five realizing he has been/is in love with reader and decides to tell them but everything goes sideways. It can be around S2 remembering the times they spent together with the “One could fall in love in seconds” talk that he and Hargreeves had, or them physically older in commission in a case. U decide what goes, there r just ideas incase it was too general ☺️

a/n: sooo i tried my best to follow the request and i hope this turned out alright! it may not be my best work, but i guess i am pretty pleased with the way it turned out?? i suck at angst, btw- i am a sucker for fluff sorry >:(

summary: five realizes it is time to be honest about his feelings... but, it may not be the best time

“So much can change in a matter of seconds.” Reginald said, watching the boy before him carefully, “One could overthrow an empire.” He paused, reading into his next gestures, “One could fall in love.”

Five shifted into his seat, letting the advice sink in. He knew the old man was not that far off, he might have had a point, especially after his last example. I mean, he did fall in love with Y/N in just a matter of seconds the first time he saw her, didn’t he?

It always plays in the back of his head the moment he first laid eyes on you all those years ago on his first day working with the Commission. You had just returned from one of your missions, exhausted and overall a mess, but not once you dared to drop the small reassuring smile on your lips- you didn’t want your co-workers to know what was going on through your soul, you wanted to seem tough. You wanted to show them you still got it at your age.

Even now Five could recall that day perfectly. He was in the Handler’s office, waiting to be assigned his first official task, when you stumbled in, holding a small briefcase which, unbeknownst to him, contained the hand of your unfortunate victim- it was a personal business your boss had sent you on to take care of for her.

“Sorry to barge in like this, but you told me to hurry.” You told the Handler, putting on a small smile as you lifted the briefcase.

“Ah, Y/N!” The Handler grinned, taking a soft drag out of her cigarette, “You’re a doll, did you know that?”

“Well, I’ve been told before.” You answered her proudly, slightly shrugging your shoulders as she motioned you to leave the briefcase by the door.

Not even now he could not understand what was it about you. Maybe it was the way you spoke nonchalantly to the woman with the biggest power in your organization, or maybe the way you had a smile on your face, even if the collar of your white shirt had been stained with specks of blood.

Within a matter of seconds from just seeing you, he forgot he had lived a long life, he felt like a kid again. Your eyes gave away reassurance and life experience- he found them comforting. Spending all that time in solitude, that’s all he wanted to see from a person- comfort.

It was a matter of time until the Handler trusted you to show him around and take him under your wing, trusting you as one of her best agents. For the first few missions, you and Five were partners, you always treated him like an equal, even if you had more experience.

Spending all that time with you, he definitely fell deeper in love. He knew there was no way out, but he also knew there was no way in hell he could act on those feelings. He still wanted to go home to his siblings, back in time, to save the world.

So... he took you with him.

At first you thought he was insane- you didn’t have a reason to betray the Commission, it never wronged you.

However, you disagreed with Doomsday.

“Did I say something wrong?” Reginald asked Five, noticing it had been a few seconds since he last spoke, having his look fixated on his drink.

“Uh, no- I was just thinking.” Five quickly said, looking back at the man, “The acorn, right?”

Five had been through a lot of shit these past two weeks. He returned back to his siblings with the person he secretly loved, tried to stop the apocalypse in 2019, only to fail and have to go back in time to 1963, where another apocalypse was waiting on him as well.

He needed a break.

Really, all he wanted was to go home with the people he cared about and have everything be alright. Deep down, he yearned to be held in your arms, while his brothers and sisters were all safely scattered around their big house. He needed peace and quiet, just for once in his life.

After the light supper 1963 Reginald Hargreeves invited you and his... future-adoptive-children, things did not entirely go as planned... He was your only hope, but he was not much help, as he managed to break Diego with a psychology lesson, ignore Luther after he showed him his body, and quickly dismiss you, Allison and Vanya- well, you tried to behave yourselves as well as you could after Klaus had a literal convulsion at the table.

Reggie only told Five to stay a while, seeing that he was the only sane one. The rest of the Hargreeves just left in their business, but you decided to wait by the elevator, knowing that he might not be in the best state of mind after having spent time with his maniac of a father.

“Y/N?” Five raised a brow, as he was making his way towards the elevator with his hands casually rested in his pockets, “You... waited?”

“Of course.” You smiled, folding your arms over your chest, “I figured you shouldn’t be alone after... that... dinner.” You frowned, unsure of what to call the disastrous meeting.

Five fought back a smile, pressing the elevator button. He never understood how you, of all people, became an assassin. You were just too good, too sweet. He never thought you actually had it in you to take lives and be an agent of the Commission, not with that gentle smile and adorable spark in your eyes.

Well, he never understood either how he could fall in love that easily, but that was besides the point. What mattered to him was that the world was still gonna end in a couple of days, and now the only solution he had left was the deal with the Handler- big surprise, his father was not that much help.

“Hey, Y/N?” Five spoke up, as the two of you entered the elevator, “Thank you.”

“For... what?” You knitted your brows in confusion, pressing the button as the doors closed, taking you two down.

“For being there, I guess.” He shrugged- Five never was the sentimental guy, but he felt like you deserved some praise. You followed him, you trusted him, you left your job at the Commission.

But it never occurred to him why. He never spent much time thinking why in the world would you trust him? Sure, you’ve known each other a while and he knew you saw him as a dear friend... unless, you saw him as more.

Five widened his eyes in realization, as you let out a small chuckle at his sudden gratitude, not looking at him.

Holy shit, Five thought, as his mouth hung open, slowly looking to his right, watching as you smiled softly, looking at nothing in particular, This is a far fetch, but... could she actually...?

All this time, he buried his feelings deep within him. He figured you didn’t need that kind of thing on your mind- it never seemed to be the time for him to be honest about what he felt. But now that he thought about it...

All those missions the two of you have been on, how could he not see it earlier?

The way you blindly trusted your life in his hands, or the way you worried for him, cared for him. You always scolded him for not being to careful and letting himself get injured, but he never read into it too much.  Or the way you accepted all his schemes and shenanigans and respected all his weird peeves.

“Are you okay?” You frowned, turning to Five once the elevator doors opened, noticing the shocked look on his face and the silence surrounding the two of you, “You look like you’ve seen Ben.”

Five quickly shook his head, stepping out of the elevator with you, trying to regain his train of thought. Maybe he was thinking too much into this... but what if he wasn’t? What if, for once in his life, something could actually go right?

Without another word, Five cupped your cheeks, pulling your face softly closer to his, capturing your lips into a kiss. You were taken aback in the beginning, freezing in your place with your eyes wide opened, trying to make sense of what was going on,  but you realized you shouldn’t be wasting this opportunity.

It was about time, you thought, melting into his touch, finally responding to the kiss.

Pulling away after a couple of moments, Five looked at your face, trying to read your emotions. However, he was pleasantly surprised, watching as your lips curved into a smirk, taking his hands in yours, slowly swaying them as you looked at him;

“Took ya long enough.”

Five scoffed amused, shaking his head in disbelief, “Better late than never, right?”

“Are there any words to come with that gesture?” You perched a brow curiously, “Or am I supposed to try and deduce...?”

Before Five could properly confess his feelings, his face fell once he laid eyes on the round clock displayed on the wall behind you. Shit, he thought, reading the time.

“I gotta go.” He suddenly declared, making your frown, “Shit, I gotta go right now!”

“What?” You wondered, as Five took his hands away, running his fingers through his hair stressed out.

He completely forgot about his meeting with the Handler- his only option still standing to save the world and go back to your timeline.

“Y/N, I am so sorry.” He genuinely apologized, as you were still trying to make sense of what was going on, “I gotta go!”

“Five!” You yelled, watching as he ran out of the building, “Get your butt back he- and, he’s gone...”

What the fuck just happened?

[the-and-sign-anon]

Angel Meets Fox

Guardian Angel: Chapter Twenty

Teen Wolf x Stilinski! Reader

Word count: 1,880

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

You were at the station again when Chris and Derek were being released. Derek looked tired and annoyed as usual while Chris was clearly trying to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible. 

“Sorry, but I can’t let you walk out with this.” You had to fight a laugh when Parrish gave Chris an incredulous look. “It’s way above the legal voltage limit.”

“I only use it for hunting.”

Derek looked up and you gave him a warning glance to keep his mouth shut.

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure you could use it to jumpstart a 747…”

“This property belongs to me and the charges were dropped. Although I’m not exactly sure who’s responsible for that.” 

“I am.” You smiled at your dad as he rounded the corner and raised his hand slightly. “I’ll take care of this, Parrish.”

“Sheriff, I’m not kidding.” He leaned a little closer to both of you with a concerned look as Chris and Derek shared an impatient glance. “This thing’s a few watts from being a lightsaber.”

“I said I’ll take care of it.” Your dad gently took the military grade taser from the deputy. 

“Don’t worry about it, Parrish. My dad knows what he’s doing.”

You made your way over to your dad’s office and watched him hold up the identical brain scans. Argent took them and matched them up while you and Derek looked over his shoulders. 

“I knew they were similar, but these are the same. Exactly the same.”

Derek looked up at him with furrowed brows. “And I’m guessing this isn’t possible?”

“Not even remotely.”

“So the trickster is still playing tricks.” Chris dropped the scans back onto the desk.

“But why this trick?” You looked at your dad for an answer.

“When I was in the Army, an officer told me, ‘if you want to defeat your enemy, you don’t take away their courage-’”

“You take away their hope.”

He nodded at you. 

“You don’t look like a man who gives up hope easily.”

Derek didn’t need to say the same about you. He knew better than most how stubborn you were about believing things would work out.

“But Stiles might.” You felt a pit form in your stomach.

“If this thing inside him… if it’s using his mother’s disease as some sort of psychological trick, then this isn’t just a fight for his body.”

“It’s a fight for his mind, too.”

“You both know he’s left people severely injured.”

“And others severely dead.”

You and your dad shared a look. Derek knew you well enough to get a bad feeling at the sight of it.

“That’s why we need you two.”

“We need people who are experienced in this kind of thing. We need you to help stop him.”

“And by stop him,” Argent took a breath like he was measuring his patience to deal with two Stilinskis. “you mean trap him.”

The four of you met up with Allison at the Argents’ apartment to get whatever nonlethal weaponry you could. The others argued over the best strategy as you studied each item and racked your brain for a possibility of where to find Stiles. When everyone started leaving, your dad put a hand on your shoulder to get your attention again. 

“Y/N, you know the plan, right?”

“I’m headed home to visit the in-between and talk to Alcmene.”

“And you’ll keep me updated?”

“Absolutely. Good luck.”

“You too, sweetheart.”

You were back home before you knew it and settled on your bed with your eyes closed. The world fell away and Alcmene appeared in front of you again. 

“Things are getting worse, aren’t they?”

“My brother disappeared for two days, attacked his best friend, and locked himself up in a highly questionable mental institution.”

“So they’re really bad.”

“One more thing.”

She tilted her head and narrowed her piercing green eyes at you.

“I can’t get my memories back. Deaton and I tried, but the closest we could get was waking Claramond up. I’m still… separate from her.”

“I was afraid that might happen. Humans are very different from angels, even when separated from their grace.”

“So how do I fix it?”

“No clue. Claramond has never really been a team player and she definitely doesn’t take orders.”

You paced back and forth in the in-between as Alcmene considered how to help.

“What if you came back with me? If you have all your memories, then you can tell us how to beat the nogitsune.”

“That’s the thing, Y/N. I don’t know how we won. The nogitsune we fought three hundred years ago, it should have beaten us. There was something you did, something I never understood. We only beat it because of you and you never shared how you did it.”

“Well we need every bit of help we can get. Maybe just having you with us can wake Claramond again and you could convince her to help.”

Alcmene looked nervous. She was shifting back and forth and her wings fluttered behind her. 

“It could make the difference in saving my brother.”

A hand on your shoulder pulled you out again as Alcmene debated her choice. Derek stood in front of you in the fading evening light.

“Did you get anything from the angel?”

“Not quite. How did you guys do?”

You clambered off your bed and followed him to Stiles’s room. 

“All we’ve got is the chessboard.”

You all stood in a circle staring down at the chessboard, where all the pieces were still labelled with the names of your supernatural friends. 

“What are the sticky notes for?”

“He used it to explain all this to dad.” You glanced up at your dad and saw the slight ache at the thought of the Stiles you all knew. The hyperactive kid who just wanted to help.

“Well, maybe it’s a message from Stiles.” Allison leaned closer to study the pieces. “The real Stiles.”

“Do you think there’s a reason he put my name on the king?”

Derek was indeed marked on the king. Your dad answered as you watched Argent pick up a piece from the side labelled with Isaac’s name.

“Well, you’re heavily guarded. But I guess the alarming detail is-”

“You’re one move from being in checkmate. It’s not a message from Stiles. It’s a threat from the nogitsune.”

“He’s at the loft.” You nodded as Allison looked back up. “That’s what he’s trying to tell us. And he wants us to go there.”

“Night’s falling. This couldn’t sound any more like a trap.”

“I don’t think it is.”

Argent gave your dad a look. 

“I think your opinion is slightly biased, Sheriff.”

“Just hear me out.” Your eyes flicked between your dad and Allison’s. “What we’re dealing with here is basically someone who lacks motive. No rhyme, no reason.”

“Right. So what does that mean?”

“Our enemy isn’t a killer, it’s a trickster. The killing is just a by-product.”

“If you’re trying to say it won’t kill us, I’m not feeling too confident about that.”

“It won’t.”

“It wants irony.” Your voice was soft as you looked up at your dad. “It wants to play a trick- it wants a joke.”

“All we need to do is come up with a new punchline.”

“The sun is setting, Stilinski. What do you have in mind?”

-----

You opened the door to the loft with your dad beside you. Stiles stood in the center of the room looking at the last rays of sunlight through the wall of windows. He turned around and your dad pulled out his handcuffs. You started to feel odd again, like you were slipping away. 

“You want to handcuff me?”

“If my son is still here- if there’s a part of him still standing in front of me- then he’ll put these on willingly and come with me.” He got closer as you slipped further away and held the cuffs out to Stiles. “Because he knows I’m here to protect him, from himself and others.”

Your eyes turned bright white for just a second and your demeanor changed at the same moment Stiles’s did. He tilted his head at your dad and he knew his son was gone, at least for the moment.

“...you’re not my son.”

The others came in. Allison tried to tase him, but he caught it and cast it aside quickly. When Derek charged at him, he grabbed his arm, slammed his face into the table, and turned to hurl him against the wall. As Argent moved to draw his gun, you stepped up with your sword drawn. 

“Argent, put the gun down.”

Derek looked up from his place on the floor as Allison stared from behind your dad. Argent himself held his gun firmly pointed at the nogitsune.

“Don’t do this.” No one could be sure which one of you your dad was talking to. 

“Why not? I’ve done it before… werewolves, berserkers… I can easily add a nogitsune to the list.”

Your dad drew his own gun and pointed it at Agrent. 

“You’re not gonna shoot my son.”

“You said it yourself, Sheriff. That’s not your son.”

You planted yourself between Argent and the nogitsune. 

“The boy this fox has stolen is under my protection. You will bring him no harm.”

Chris recognized the change in your voice. He’d heard it once before, the night you asked him to help track down Boyd and Cora. Allison tried to move a little closer. 

“Sheriff, what’s happening to her?”

“...Claramond?”

Your head tilted at the sound of your name, but you still didn’t back down.

“Claramond, put the sword down. No one’s getting hurt here.”

“The hunter intends to shoot him. The only one at risk is Argent.”

“I can add an angel to my list too.”

“I would find some measure of entertainment in your attempt before I cut you down.”

Allison stepped forward as the loft grew dark. The only light remaining came from your sword.

“Stop! This is what he wants! This is exactly what he wants!”

“Not exactly. I was kind of hoping Scott would be here.” He stepped closer and you looked at him with a cold familiarity that put your dad further on edge. “But I’m glad you’re all armed, because you’re not here to kill me.” The Oni appeared again and everyone circled up around the nogitsune. “You’re here to protect me.”

When the fight began, your sword glowed brighter and you kept your back to your family. You swung at the first Oni and your eyes glowed again as well. Your dad started firing and Derek’s claws were out. The fight ended all too soon as Scott and Kira ran in. 

The room was dark except for you. Derek was on the floor. Argent instinctively pointed his gun at the new arrivals before recognizing them and dropping it again. Allison was beside your dad as their eyes scanned the room. 

“What just happened?”

“They disappeared. They just vanished.”

“And so did Stiles.”

Derek glanced up at you. Your demeanor hadn’t changed and your sword was still gripped tightly in your hand. 

“But one person is still here.”

The others turned to you and you tilted your head again. 

“Claramond? Can we have a conversation?”

Next Chapter

[dogbearinggifts]

What was your opinion on Five apologizing to Reggie? Five seemed so apprehensive to see his dad, almost afraid despite technically being older. Five was very calm and collected during the convo and offered up that apology. The entire light supper scene really showcased how when in Reggie’s presence they all revert back to the scared kids under their abusive dad except Five who didn’t react at all the way I thought he would. You always have great insight so I was curious

I think Five’s apology is evidence of how disconnected he’s become from his abusive childhood. 

I don’t think that’s bad, but I don’t think it’s good, either. It’s just a fact. For perspective, here’s how Five spent his life: 

13 years: The Academy. His time here wasn’t great by any stretch. We don’t know the details of his training, but given what Klaus endured, it’s almost a given that it was fairly brutal—physically punishing, psychologically taxing, and emotionally draining. Schoolwork involved involved lessons in Ancient Greek and at least six other languages (if you want to assume Allison is fluent in seven languages because she had lessons in more and simply fell out of practice with them). There was also humiliation and the frustration that comes with it, since Reginald wouldn’t let Five practice time travel and didn’t trust his abilities enough to just have him start small. Mealtimes were silent and he was given half an hour for fun per week. All that said, Five wasn’t lacking in material comforts. He might have been punished for talking through meals, but he got three of them each day. The Academy might have been a joyless home, but it protected him from the elements. He might not have always gotten along with his siblings, but he still had their companionship—six people to commiserate and sneak out for donuts with. He might not have been allowed to explore any more of the cities they visited than was strictly required for their missions, but he got to travel the world and be celebrated as a hero. 

45(?) years: The apocalypse. The first thing he sees is the Academy—and the rest of the city—destroyed and in flames. Soon after, he finds his siblings dead in the rubble. Everything he knows about what happened beforehand he has to piece together himself, through whatever newspapers he can scavenge and through a book his sister wrote that opens with “We were never a real family” (so, not exactly uplifting reading). Canned food lasts about 5 years max (which he may or may not have known beforehand, making food poisoning a very real danger) so he would’ve had to forage. An asteroid impact of that magnitude probably would’ve killed off a good bit of the vegetation, meaning he would’ve had to ignore large sections of those books on edible plants simply because those plants were now extinct. Clean water would’ve been a luxury until he figured out how to purify his own, and even then he would’ve had to ration it. Cleaning his clothes would’ve become such an afterthought he might have forgotten what truly clean clothes felt like. The isolation was so oppressive he took to carrying on conversations with a mannequin—and the mannequin began talking back—and turned to alcoholism, which became a bone of contention between him and said mannequin. The only help he had came from the books that survived the impact. If at any point he miscalculated in his water purification or his foraging, he would have died alone, with no one around to remember him. 

0-1 years: The Commission. He got money for food, clean clothes, and all the water he needed, but it came at a cost. The Commission put him on a grueling schedule (if Hazel’s complaining in S1 is any indication). He was expected to do jobs quickly and without attracting attention—and if he did attract attention, his employer was not inclined to quickly forgive. But more than that, he was expected to kill people—decent people whose only crime was unwittingly altering a timeline constantly in flux. Although he coped through detachment, it seems there was still a good bit of cognitive dissonance (contrast his “I never enjoyed [killing]” with his readiness to murder a gardener to push the timeline back into proper alignment, or his apparent lack of ill will toward the Board of Directors with their gruesome murders). 

Again, his time at the Academy wasn’t easy, but with all of the above taken into account, it seems it was probably the least horrific part of Five’s life. Looking back from the apocalypse or from the Commission, it would’ve been easy for him to reminisce fondly on those silent meals or compare the difficulties of training to the despair of not finding a single edible thing in a five-mile radius. Through all that reflection, he would’ve been painfully aware that his own hubris got him stuck in the apocalypse. Thoughts about “if only”—if only he’d listened to Reginald, if only he’d waited—probably turned toward the rest of his time at the Academy. If only he’d done what Reginald said without arguing, he wouldn’t have earned that punishment. If only he hadn’t been so combative, he might’ve seen Reginald’s point. If only he’d been less of a smug little shit, he wouldn’t have gotten stuck. 

So when he sees Reginald again, he’s not confronting the source of his misery the way his siblings are. To his mind, Reginald is a minor boss—scary, but not nearly as bad as the other things he’s faced. I think he’s probably come to downplay some of what he endured at the Academy, simply because the rest of his life was so grim that the cruelty Reginald put him through seemed tame by comparison. 

[niallloverontheloose]

“What Scott did to Derek in Master Plan was poetic justice and a well deserved comeuppance. Derek abused the Bite and was abused by it”

Take a look at what kind of victim blaming/abuse apologism garbage Scott/Posey Stans put in the Derek Hale tag

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/644378147526164481/hey-princeescaluswords-remember-when-you-said#notes

https://rhyslahey.tumblr.com/post/644379010533638144/hey-princeescaluswords-remember-when-you-said#notes

Anonymous: Hey @princeescaluswords remember when you said that Scott hit and abused Isaac because “the Nemeton and lycanthropy made him do it!” and that Scott violating Derek was “poetic justice” and “a well deserved comeuppance”?

@princeescaluswords:

I do remember saying those things (though not those precise words), and I will most definitely say them again!

Scott didn’t hit Isaac in just any episode of Teen Wolf. The scene you are talking about happened in Anchors (3x13), the season opener of 3B. In this episode, Scott, Stiles and Allison were dealing with the debilitating aftereffects of the Nemeton sacrifice. This is not arguable. It is the entire point of the episode.

Scott’s specific consequence took the form of hallucinations where his shadow transformed without his control and uncontrollable transformations into a werewolf, a creature that from the beginning of the series came with increased aggression. The term Stiles used was bloodlust. There was also a scene – in the same episode where Scott started transforming in the middle of school, Stiles and Scott went into a classroom and Scott warned Stiles away because he didn’t know what would happen. Scott was in an unstable mental state due to the influence sacrifice and it took the form of violence and aggression because that’s an established trait of lycanthropy.

See how context is important?

Trying to pretend that Scott wasn’t influenced by the Nemeton ritual in that episode is like trying to pretend that Allison really meant to shoot Lydia in the face with an arrow or that Stiles was actually not paying attention in Coach’s class. It’s absurd, and I think 99 people out of 100 who actually watched the episode would agree, that we were meant to understand that they were suffering from psychological horror that caused them to act differently than they normally would.

And yes, what happened to Derek Hale, one of the villains of Season Two, in Master Plan (2x12) was poetic justice and a well-deserved comeuppance.

Yes, Scott deceived Derek on joining his pack, didn’t tell him about his plan to replace Gerard’s cancer medication with mountain ash to stop Gerard’s plan to force Derek to give him the Bite, and rejected his position as alpha. This was well deserved. Derek had been lying to Scott and concealing information since the first time they met back in Season 1. Derek concealed the existence of the alpha from Scott for three episodes while trying to use a sixteen-year-old boy as bait to find his sister’s killer and in return Scott concealed Gerard’s cancer from Derek. Derek manipulated Scott by promising to help him try for the cure by killing the alpha who bit him and then again by promising to get the cure for Jackson, and in return Scott manipulated Derek by pretending to join his pack. Derek betrayed Scott to Peter in Co-Captain by accepting Peter as his alpha, and in return Scott rejected Derek as his alpha. This is a well-deserved comeuppance.

Derek’s humiliation by Gerard and Gerard forcing the Bite on him was directly caused by Derek’s abuse of the Bite. Derek Bit Jackson – a person he knew was a dangerously unstable narcissist and then abandoned him, and Jackson became the weapon by which Gerard brought Derek to his knees. Derek transformed “teenagers into killers,” tried to murder Allison’s friends, and Bit Victoria, and that helped drive Allison into being the instrument that gave Gerard the upper hand. Derek had been using the Bite to get what he wanted, and in the end he was forced to Bite Gerard by Gerard so the old hunter could get what he wanted. He abused the Bite and was abused by it. This is poetic justice.

See how that works?

//

Scott AND Gerard humiliating, dehumanizing and violating Derek was directly caused by Scott AND Gerard being abusive scumbags.

Scott lied to Allison, patronized Allison, yelled at Allison, manipulated Allison, concealed the truth about her mother’s death from Allison, controlled Allison, and threw Derek and his Pack under the bus just to look “heroic” in Allison’s eyes; Scott’s abusive tendencies/behavior drove Allison away and made her vulnerable to Gerard’s gaslighting and machinations.

Scott’s the one who told his buddy Gerard that Jackson was the Kanima and that Matt was his Master. Not only did Scott conspire with Gerard behind everyone’s back, but he also sold Derek and his Pack out to the hunters and told Gerard everything he wanted to know about them:

Teen Wolf 02x10, “Fury”

SCOTT: What are you doing here?! It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!

GERARD: Trust me, I’m aware of that.

SCOTT: I’ve done everything that you’ve asked of me! I’m part of Derek’s pack! I’ve given you all the information that you wanted! I told you Matt is controlling Jackson!

Scott didn’t hit Isaac because “Lycanthropy and the Nemeton made him do it!” Scott repeatedly hit Isaac because Scott is a jealous, obsessive, possessiveness piece of shit who sees women (and Stiles) as an exclusive property of his. Even Tyler Posey acknowledged it:

https://collider.com/teen-wolf-season-4-tyler-posey-interview/

https://ew.com/article/2016/07/05/teen-wolf-tyler-posey-season-6-scott/

POSEY: Kira is definitely a good distraction for Scott. He was probably a little bit bitter around Isaac because that was Scott’s girl. Allison was the love of Scott’s life, and it’s hard to let that go, especially when she’s with the kid that you’re living with. It’s definitely over-stepping some boundaries. But Kira is a great distraction for Scott. You will not see Isaac thrown into anymore walls *laughs*

What Scott “They Had A Reason” McCall did to Derek Hale in Master Plan was neither poetic justice nor a well deserved comeuppance. It’s dehumanization and a disgusting violation of someone’s boundaries, autonomy and consent

All I’ve to say is,

Tyler Posey....