#all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
HEAD-TO-HEAD (prologue)
Summary: Joe thought she was pretty. Had he just said that, things might have been different for them. Maybe they wouldn't have gone head-to-head at each other for three years like it was a contest.
Pairing: Joe Liebgott x Reader
Genre: angst splattered with fluff
Tags:
Head-to-head: @derersketnoget
Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads
Warnings: implied sexism, language
A/N: am I writing a multipart for this scrappy little shit just because I had a weirdly vivid dream with him? Yes. I need him out of my head NOW🗣️. Enjoy this little prologue <3
Band of Brothers masterlist
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
When I had first signed up to serve in the Airborne, I hadn't expected things to be smooth or easy. Hell, a part of me didn't even expect me to make it through the cut, let alone find the road paved for me to waltz into the army.
At the end of the day, being a woman was hard enough. Being a female paratrooper? Do not get me started.
Easy Company's men had been a short breath of fresh air —a glint of hope—, but nevertheless, it still was difficult enough.
I didn't need additional challenges added to the mix. I genuinely did not need someone like Joe Liebgott to take interest in talking to me.
The fact that I had been avoiding interacting with certain men in the company wasn't coincidental. I didn't trust them. Not entirely.
Of course, my opinions about most of them shifted from wary to positive after they gradually approached me. Some were a nice surprise, like Joe Toye. Some were deep down expected, like Don Malarkey or Shifty Powers.
I wasn't exactly eager to have any sort of interaction with Joe Liebgott, although the feeling apparently was not mutual. At least from the beginning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It hadn’t taken long for me to notice Joe Liebgott. He was hard to miss with his loud comments and cocky stride. In the few days of training, I had already made up my mind—he wasn't someone I wanted to interact with.
That was the reason why I felt a quick wave of irritation when, while I had a chat outside the barracks with Hoobler and Shifty, I caught him casually sauntering over like he owned the place.
This moment was doomed to come.
"Having a chat, fellas?" His grin made it clear he thought he was charming.
With a sigh louder than I intended, I raised to my feet and shook the dust off my uniform. "I think this is my cue to head out."
"Woah, where's the fire, Y/l/n?" Liebgott questioned giving me an up-and-down. "It's Y/l/n, right?"
"Right."
Silence stretched between us while we seized up each other. Maybe he had expected me to say something else. I, myself, expected the same from him.
"Can I help you with anything or...?" I gave in first.
“I figured it was time to see what all the fuss was about." he said, leaning against the barracks' wall with that confident air. "A broad? in a place like this? That's something."
I raised an eyebrow. “Really? Starting with that line?"
"C'mon, it's true. It ain't everyday you see someone who can keep up with the boys." His hands dove into his pockets, chin slightly tilted up. "You must be pretty special."
A wave of disgust washed over my face so obviously that Hoobler had to hold back a laugh. "This is exactly why I didn’t approach you in the first place.”
He blinked, surprise flickering across his face, but he quickly masked it with another grin. "Come on, I'm just tryna be friendly."
"If this is friendly, then I don't wanna see the rest."
His smile faltered, and he shifted his posture ever so slightly. "You got a big mouth, don't you?"
"Makes the two of us." By the taken aback look on his face, he clearly wasn't expecting this to go sideways. "Don't give me that look, I've seen your little act."
"You've been watching me then." He took a quick look at the boys standing nearby as if waiting for a couple of laughs on their part.
"Oh please, spare me." I waved him off, a humorless half smile tugging on the corner of my lips. "I could hear you from a mile away."
He scoffed a bit too loud. "That's rich coming from someone who can be heard from the top of that goddamn mountain." His index finger pointed behind us at Currahee. There it was; that attitude he was so quick to turn to.
"Oh but that's just perfect." I quipped with a fake smile as I resumed my way out. "Means there's no need to get close!"
I would have sworn he used the word 'bitch' behind my back. I wasn't sure, though, but I had no interest in retrace my steps to get into a stupid spat with some I didn't even want to interact with in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, after our first conversation, one would think we would try to avoid each other.
I guess it just wasn't in Joe's nature to give up without a fight, and it wasn't in mine to keep quiet and suck it up.
#joe liebgott fanfic#joe liebgott multipart#joe liebgott x reader#joe liebgott fanfiction#joseph liebgott fanfiction#joseph liebgott x reader#joseph liebgott imagine#joseph liebgott#joe liebgott#joe liebgott angst#enemies to friends to lovers#band of brothers fanfic#band of brothers#band of brothers fandom#hbo war#hbo war fic#hbo miniseries#donald hoobler#shifty powers#head-to-head
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not to be depressing in new year's eve but i feel so shit right now...#all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything#and what i do manage to enjoy takes up like an hour of my life and then it becomes disappointing#that's how i would describe the past few months... disappointing#everything feels flat#I can't manage to hold on to a good feeling for more than an hour or two#i have absolutely no hope for the future and I don't even care about that anymore#nothing feels worth anything anymore#and what's really solidifying that feeling today of all days#is the fact that every year since before I was born my family celebrates new years eve#a few years ago the celebrations changed since my extended family decided to cut us out a bit but my mom brother and i still celebrate#we get yummy food play fun games and just spend the night together until midnight when we toast and go to bed#well this year it's 10:30 and we're already in bed doing the same things we do every day#being on our phones or watching a movie or whatever on our own#and it's just disappointing again#idk if it's the break of the tradition or the fact that the new year doesn't feel important this time#but i feel so fucking sad and numb and depressed#i hate it#I don't even feel like saying the usual ''hope 2024 is better'' shit#i just don't care and i don't think it's gonna be better... it's gonna be the same old shit and it's gonna be disappointing#nothing matters anymore and i don't think anyone fucking cares#i feel so numb...#i don't even know what the point of this post is... sorry about that#hope y'all's new years eve is better than mine (or new year's day idk your time zones)#angel talks#personal
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I... have a confession to make, of sorts. There won't ever be a good time to admit this, unfortunately, so it's best I get this off my chest now, and ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
It has not been easy speaking with all of the flashclones who have made themselves known in the wake of Union's latest raids; both for myself, and the squadron at large. I must commend my squadmates for handling themselves with the utmost professionalism - while my own correspondences with these newest members of the Omninet have been what I would consider adequately polite, I've been biting my tongue the entire time, and I fear that my personal discomfort with the issue is starting to slip through the cracks.
To this end, I wish to share my thoughts publicly, that I might better express my own emotions towards this complicated, frustrating, and highly nuanced issue. I only ask that you hear me out in full before you render judgement, and pronounce your sentence carefully.
First: an observation.
MSMC policy requires that all pilots dictate an end-of-life plan at the time of their recruitment, that their final wishes may be carried out by the company in the event of their death under MSMC's employ. The options provided for this are effectively unlimited, allowing the pilot a great deal of choice and freedom in planning their postmortem arrangements. These plans may also be altered in the future should circumstances change, provided the pilot is of sound body and mind.
Under MSMC policy, in compliance with the policies set forth by Union, one of the available postmortem options is flashcloning.
In my fifteen-odd years serving under MSMC, I have only heard of three pilots who have willingly chosen to be flashcloned after death (thus prolonging not only their life, but their term of service under MSMC as well). Of these, I have only personally met one, affiliated with MSMC-808 "5Q8R3 L00P3RZ" - I believe their current iteration goes by callsign Lemniscate. While I do not know how many times they have been cloned during their term of service, their current iteration seems happy enough, and their squadmates reassure me that they've maintained a consistent identity (plus or minus the odd quirk, as is typical of flashclones) throughout their life (lives?).
Second: a digression.
I purchased my Dusk Wing, And The Voice of Apollo Spoke From On High (Apollo for short), from an SSC showroom on a planet whose name I no longer recall. The curated atmosphere called to mind the high marble pillars and lush green-blue waters of some distant Cradle mythology where gods roamed the earth and mortals strove to emulate them, punished and rewarded for their folly in equal measure with gifts and curses beyond name. Each frame was posed as the statues of old on Cradle, too-human limbs arrayed in too-human poses, each a machine of war turned living art piece.
Apollo, true to its future name, was arrayed in flight; hover-jets draped with sunlight-yellow gossamer, veil rifle aimed in its middle tier of manipulators with the same care and precision as an archer would take with their bow. To see it lowered to the floor after its purchase was to see Icarus fall; to climb inside its cockpit for the first time, to don wax-and-feather wings of my own and fly.
The old tales caution that divinity has a cost, and I too paid the price. A vial of blood, drawn with silver needle and spirited away into an unseen cooler before my pen ever touched paper. Apollo was mine, but SSC had received a far greater gift in its place: a sample of my DNA, unwillingly donated as the price for my divine armament.
Even now, this price weighs heavy on my head like the sword which hung above Damocles, poised to drop without a moment's notice with each new Union raid on yet another forgotten cloning facility. Who can say on what distant planet the children I did not birth sleep in stasis - children with my eyes, my hair, my nose, my smile; sons and daughters who will never be called as such because, to their creators, they are slaves, weapons, property - anything but human.
Third: an explanation.
I believe that flashcloning, in its current state as of 5016u, as approved by Union's Third Committee (and exploited by the likes of SSC, HA, and several countless others across the stars) is an inherently unethical practice; both for those who donate their DNA (willingly or otherwise), as well as for those persons produced by it.
To see countless lives created, manipulated, slaughtered, and recycled in the name of so-called "progress"; to see inherently human beings stripped of every vestige of humanity but the body in which they reside and then forcibly brainwashed and molded into soldiers, medics, mechanics, weapons, machines, slaves, property - it is an abominable and inhumane practice that should have died a slow and painful death in the darkness from whence it was birthed.
This being said: I cannot stand idly by as the products of this inhumane practice continue to suffer. No matter whether it is beneath the apathetic gaze of Union, the dehumanizing bootheel of HA, or the eugenicist scalpel of SSC, I will not allow my fellow persons to endure another day of abuse at the hands of those who would abandon their own creations as little more than imperfect failures for daring to remind their creators of their sentience.
Alone, I can do nothing. I too am but a cog in this great uncaring machine humanity has built, one which prospers on suffering and bloodshed and the work of hands which have forgotten the body to which they are attached. Even if I were to risk life and limb and reputation to make my position known, it is a battle which lies dead in the water - it is impossible to halt the wheels of progress without irreparably damaging the future which relies on their turning.
And so I fight. I fight for those who have forgotten their humanity, both willingly and unwillingly, that they might find something of their own - identity, purpose, desires, connection, life - that reminds them of what they were and are and always have been: human.
-- Angel
#lancer rpg#lancer ttrpg#lancerrpg#// my squadmates do not know I am posting this - I could never hope to even begin to explain myself to them#// I only hope that when this post is inevitably discovered it will be forgiven; just as I have forgiven theirs in the past#OOC: jokes on all of you - you get a big fat lore(?) post as well as art this time around#holy shit this was so much fun to write - P has some COMPLEX feelings on this particular issue and do I ever enjoy writing ethical dilemmas#marrying “maybe nobody deserves to suffer actually” and “holy fuck flashcloning is unethical as sin” was a fun mental exercise#can you tell I'm an old hand in the SCP fandom? because this basically felt like writing a piece for the Ethics Committee#(not that I've ever published anything on the SCP wiki - that shit stays firmly in my Google Docs and the Discord messages of my friends)#I'm looking forward to seeing the feedback to this one; both in and out of character - I suspect this one's gonna be controversial#(also - addressing the elephant in the room: Phoenix is older than I draw her; both she and Slipshod have been with MSMC for about 15 years#(as has been stated in prior tales Kennedi has only been here for 12 years - she may be less experienced but she sure knows how to lead)
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
once again happy may first everyone we recognize no other labor's day
#bruce springsteen#joe hill#will i crawl out of my inability to do anything to post this for the 358902 year in a row yes#i should give myself the goal of being okay enough on may 1st 2025 to start actually putting down to paper the themed Thing#i've been wanting to do for three fucking years or so#which im absolutely not the right person for but no one else is doing it so#anyway doesn't matter happy may 1st all of you who aren't working enjoy the hell out of it#Youtube
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#having a day full of mixed feelings#I suppose this is how life goes#I'm officially done with my Bachelor's degree as of today#obviously I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment and I was excited to be celebrated today#it was a long and difficult road and there were many times where I didn't think I'd live to see it through but I made it#I'm the first person in my family to get this degree and I was really looking forward to having today be my day#I had a really lovely morning and then things kind of waned#there were a few arguments. someone I spent the day with repeatedly made negative comments about something I care about#it felt awful. I know it was intended as more of a playful jab than anything but I directly asked for the comments to stop and they didn't#it especially hurt that it was a fandom thing and the person is so invested in their own fandoms yet they felt it fair to step on mine#even though I've never done that to them#then people kept talking over me and acted like I was wrong for trying to interject to finish my own sentences#also as I said in the last post I was deeply upset by how my family members spoke of my 12 year old cousin#she's just a kid and some of our close family members have such a nasty opinion of her. she's so young and she's had a rough few years#but it seems like no one except my brother and I are willing to give her any grace#I think everyone else has forgotten what it feels like to be a kid and feel as if the world is against you#on a more positive note. I had a decadent slice of chocolate cake. it was heavenly#unfortunately I was really too in my head to fully enjoy it#literally every day for 3 weeks I've been talking about the lunch I planned to have today#I knew exactly what meal and dessert I wanted from the restaurant. it's my absolute fave and isn't available at any other local restaurant#I was totally starving by time we got to the restaurant. we were out all morning and I ate a tiny breakfast in anticipation of this meal#when we got there we found out they removed what I planned to order from the menu. I was devastated.#I know it's stupid but like this was the one part of my day that I've had planned for MONTHS and I've been thinking about it for weeks#we had a 40 minute car ride where I mentioned my excitement for the food no less than 10 times so this crushed me#also I'm just really picky in general and typically restaurants only have one or two things I'm able to eat#I offered to just eat the dessert while everyone else ordered food because they were all really hungry too but they wouldn't allow it#we left the restaurant and I still feel horrible for walking out. if I had known the item was removed we wouldn't have even gone there#it happened so recently though and I feel dumb for not even thinking to check the menu online beforehand#so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon#even though it's my day and my celebration and I feel like I'm entitled to a slight amount of unreasonableness
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0
#LOV giant nasturtium leaves#and they press weirdly thin like when they dry out it's almost like a super super fragile sheet of tracing paper or something#I also just really enjoy collecting textures and patterns and stuff. like it's not really about them looking pretty but more just#something notable. like the cool dotted pattern or the stripey veiny looking one#I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year but have been so unproductive still lol ToT#I've had new costumes and like Actual Stuff To Post for probably 2 months now but they just sit in a folder and I forget about#them and like walk in circles talking to myself all day instead or something hhh#I think it's the classic cycle of like 'I am too stressed to be productive > the fact that i'm not being productive stresses me out > i am#even more stressed and no more productive > being unproductive stresses me out > so on and so forth forever' lol#or the 'I have so many goals in life and so much motivation and so many things I love and want to do > there are too many things to do#at once and it's overwhelming > do none of them instead' cycle lol#I think my main focuses in the new year though are to finally finish the worldbuilding slideshow. Do more costumes. And do more sculptures#since I haven't done a lot of those in a while. And still work on my games and short stories and stuff that takes place in my worldbuilding#world but those are more difficult longterm tasks so I think they should be like. not the MAIN main focus or else I'll never feel like I do#anything. I think that was the problem for the past while is that the things I had delegated as my Main Focuses That Go Above All Else#are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you#could be doing in favor of a thing that feels like you're not doing anything thus you get a chronic feeling of never finishing anything ever#Whereas like. I can do a sculpture in a day or two. and I can do costumes in a day or less. Having a steadier flow of Small Things i can fee#l like I'm actually accomplishing will maybe help it not just be like 'okay I spent a whole day doing somehting and have nothing tangible to#show for it because it's just text in a word document that probably nothing will ever even come of because it will take me years to finish'#The biggest insurmountable task at the moment is the worldbuilding slideshow but I am chugging through.. slowly lol.. It takes me about#2 hours to read 25 slides (they're not bullet points it's like little paragraphs on each slide). and I have about 800 to go. so thats..#naur.. i shant even calculate it... plus editing one hour of vidoe usually takes about 2 hours so you double it. if I have that much recordi#ng of me reading slides to edit. then turning them all into a final video should take.... i cannot say. i shall not think of it#And I've just had a very stressful few weeks HOWEVER I just always like tp start the new year with stuff cleared like.. all of my messages I#haven't answered in 3+ weeks responded to. all of my emails to my doctors checked. house cleaned and organized. photos cleared and organized#off of the computer. everyting backed up in some sort of physical storage. clear out drafts. rewrite all of my main todo lists. decide prio#rities and yearly/monthly/weekly goals. consider the trajectory of my life and what I need to do. etc. etc. So I feel like I don't have any#time to waste and can't rest. yet.. alas.. It doesn't help that I feel sick out of nowehre like 50% of the time#I know some poeple can work/focus on tasks with body aches and etc. but my brain is just always like 'No. :)' .. grrrbb
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wee ha
#Arright here I go again I gotta do some of these when I gotta vent#posting this on the 17th of August#So the elestral thing is going alright. My focus has shifted a LOT there but I'm still working with em#But the majority of my work comes from another client now. It's another one of these things that I'd love to make by myself#But someone else is making it and wanting me to do the art and music. It's gonna be huge. What a life it is. Anyway#This gif is from yet another project I started recently. Separate from Smile More HoaM and anything else. I keep fucking doing this#But this one's strange. It reflects my current working skills I've built up all these years. A multimedia experience that has a start n end#featuring all your favourite elphame characters in a new style. I'm enjoying making it but there's one problem#I haven't worked on it in like a month and a half#Work is piling up. Pixel art is something I don't do for myself anymore#It's not even a case of “as soon as I have time to myself my fingers can't move" it's that I just do not have any spare time lmao#I meet Ashley once or twice a week. We still play digimon a lot but we're taking this month off since she's petsitting and can't go out lat#My flatmate has basically taken the summer off work since his job pays well enough for him to do so#so having him around to play games with is nice. Feels awkward taking baths with him in the house tho lmao#He is kind of the only reason I take breaks. I got pikmin 4 and it is incredible. Genuinely might have replaced Digimon World as 1st place#Mum took Andy and I to Netherlands recently. It was incredible. I played in a local digimon tournament and ate shit#Have just been so excited about travelling lately. Ashy taking me to manchester soon and I think we'll go london next spring or sooner#Worried I'm overdoing it with the tags so I'll sign off here. Work is stressing me out but it looks like big things are happening.#OH MY GOD I HAVE STOPPED BLEEDING BTW. Like almost altogether. Haven't in like a month. The trick is in the big box I rest my feet on.#It's too tall. I tried replacing it with a pile of folders half as tall and my bleeding fucking stopped. No crohn's disease or anything.#Just a big stupid fucking box. Anyway see you
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
me for the past several years: I think something is wrong with me, I just don't like books the way I used to. I have maybe finished 3 books in 4 years and the last one I finished took me making an intentional effort to do nothing but read it one day to finish it :/
this book,
bursting into my life: NO IT IS THE BOOKS WHO ARE WRONG
#i started this and finished it in mmmm about 5 hours?#I will be buying the others as SOON as I get home#i thought maybe i had just grown out of the books i liked or something#but nah. it just took me reading this to realize i literally haven't been reading the sort of books i like in YEARS#rich fantasy worlds (specifically with dragons) have ALWAYS been the most important thing in the world to me#that's literally all i read growing up. and outside of rereading a handful of redwall books i haven't read any of those in FOREVER#all the most recent stuff I've tried to read has been sci-fi or weird psychological stories#or nonfiction/heavily political stuff#or one fantasy book with dragons but it was about a 12 year old and had a sort of dragon i don't super care for and didn't even as a kid#and then i wonder why i have so little interest in finishing them :/#there isn't anything wrong with those books but they just aren't what i enjoy and i know that so why do i keep forcing myself to read them??#perhaps i should stop that and thus get back a hobby that i used to be love in the extreme
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#kinda fucked up that 2020 feels like it was just yesterday#and i was like 'damn i guess i havent really felt like a person since then'#but i know that's not true because i didn't feel like a person before that either#I've been in a slow downward spiral since getting covid last year and remembering that the whole time i was in school#i was just doing it because thats what i was told i should do#i dont feel like I've made a single impactful decision ever in my own fucking life#i talked about it with my therapist last year but i cant responsibly afford to go back to her anyways#and its not like ive made any real progress on anything#i probably haven't seen a doctor since i was in high school#i dont know what i want to be called#i dont know what i want to even DO with myself#because I've just been doing whatever my mom says to for so fucking long#i shouldn't have gone to college until i had something i actually wanted to do#and now i have stupid ass loans and for what?#not a fucking degree!#i dropped out four years ago and havent done a goddamn useful thing since!#i feel stupid and useless and directionless#i miss my friends#i wish there was something i was at all good at but i cant even get rid of things i dont want because i dont even know what that means#because if we're looking at it objectively i dont want *any* of the things i have right now#i hate my clothes i hate my room i dont use any of my art tools anymore and even my physical body is rejecting me#i can't even SLEEP right#fucking hell#delete later#my birthday is in a week and im lowkey wondering if it would have been better if my mom never had me lmfao#I've done nothing I've said i was going to do so whats even the point#I've got a cat I've gotta look after for a few days in november so obviously we're gonna keep cruisin but GOD i dont wanna be here#my issues arent even that bad in the grand scheme of things but because theyre happening to me it feels so much more intense because well#my life is the lens in which i experience the world lmfao#ive pretended like everythings fine for all my life but these cracks just keep getting bigger and im really not enjoying that at all!
0 notes
Text
-
#so much happened this year for me it's kinda crazy. but#i feel like i was in a constant state of recovery y'know#like. 2020-22 were rough and so much happened that i needed to emotionally recover from#but at the same time so much changed for me in such a short amount of time this year#i think it's important to be aware of that y'know.#it wasn't all bad or anything#it was just. a Lot. but there are nice little moments i'm sure i'll reflect on later. even if they were “little” they were important#this yearr i made a lot more art than i ever have! even if i didn't share half of it. but that's really nice. i got comfy driving#i go to the gym now and actually enjoy it so that's nice.#got prescribed adhd meds! hopefully they're in stock soon dsdkjfg. went to college in person! we're. still workin on that one#but it's okay. i'm reading books again! that's been refreshing.#i've tried a lot of things and it's been really nice#i wanna try candle making. and there's this pottery place down town that looks cool. i'd also like 2 make a friend! that'd#be nice sdfhg. i'm trying to put myself out there a bit but. we will just do our own thing and keep trying anyways. even if it's a lil hard#i wanna take those automotive classes sometime this year. see how i like that. working on cars has always sounded cool to me y'know#i want to keep making art and going to the gym. learn how to cook some more meals#keep finding the time to stop and appreciate things. and exist within and outside everything sometimes. that's important i think#sap says#anyways. let's keep going
0 notes
Text
thinking about my pear tree
#my parents planted a pear tree when i was born and this year there's been bugs in almost every pear#n they look fine from outside for the most part but when you open them up they're like. pink and messed up n taste kinda bitter#in other news i tried to do a manicure on myself for the first time and i was surprised not to mess it up immediately#but it's been like an hour and it hasn't dried so anytime i do anything it's a RiskTM#n also i am so sad all the time and time feels so slow and empty LOL#like i've been trying. a lot of different stuff. and i've been trying to like. erase the opportunities to think about stuff n all.#n i'm still zombying mm like. i don't even know how many days its been but#friends have been saying like. oh hang out! let's do stuff! let's distract you! but. instead of being distracted it just feels like.#everyone around me just seems like. normal and light and they're enjoying and i feel like. like it's just sitting at my throat?#like i feel like every time i open my mouth i'm suppressing down. sludge. n negative brain n just. like i can't. get myself to feel normal#and i have nightmares every night about something or other so i wake up n just lay there LMFAO#n my skin's getting worse n i feel like i look bad no matter what i try LOL#where's my breakup glowup world that's not fair you don't get to take everything and then not even give me one of those#in any case. heartbreak. that sure sucks!#and my pear tree not doing well also#mano.mindtalk#neg
1 note
·
View note
Text
restroom attendant | jason todd
Summary: Tonight is the worst night ever--you just got dumped on your birthday, and all you want to do is cry in the restaurant bathroom in peace. That is, until, the Red Hood bursts in. This city just won't cut you a break.
Pairing: Jason Todd x fem!reader
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings/tags: humor, mild angst, reader's ex-bf cheats and dumps her, jason is such a silly goose, flirting, meet ugly, canon-typical violence, awkward jason, comic relief dick grayson.
A/N: this is probably the silliest fic i've ever written LOL! i hope you guys enjoy it. please support your local jason todd enthusiast and reblog :)
the divider
Tonight sucks.
With a shaky hand, you attempt to soothe your swollen eyes. You’ve probably been in here for about twenty minutes. Your Uber has definitely left, as has your now ex-boyfriend of three years.
Yoga instructor. It’s always the yoga instructor. They’re always fucking the yoga instructor.
You swallow a mouthful of tears and phlegm and try not to let the wet sink touch your dress. All you’d wanted was a little class on your birthday, maybe have some wine and play footsie under the table with your boyfriend. But no. That would’ve been too easy for you.
You’re starting to think this city is cursed.
The door slams open. The force of it shakes the bathroom, rattles the mirrors. You spin around.
A man slides across the floor and smacks his head on the opposite wall. Red Hood appears in the doorway, the eyes of his helmet glowing eerily.
Yep. Definitely cursed.
"Let's try this again," Hood says pleasantly, reloading his gun with a fresh magazine. "And in the interest of making myself transparent: when I ask you a question, Jerry, I expect a truthful answer."
He stalks over to Jerry and heaves him up by the lapels of his suit jacket. Hood's biceps bulge as he holds Jerry against the wall. You squish yourself against the sink. Water soaks the back of your dress.
"You're crazy, I didn't do anything!" Jerry shouts, feet barely scraping the floor.
"Volume, Jerry. People are trying to enjoy their meals.”
“Let go of me, Hood! I wasn’t anywhere near the Iceberg Lounge!”
“Yeah, see, words are coming outta your mouth, but they don't match the fact that I have three people who put you at the scene. How can we remedy this inconsistency? Any ideas?"
Jerry squirms, but he's no match for Hood's strength. Your heart pounds in your chest.
"Don't give me to the cops!" Jerry begs.
"Cops are the least of your worries right now," Hood snarls. "You're damn lucky Nightwing wants to talk to you, Jerry, or your head would hurt a lot more."
Slowly, you reach for your purse, trying to pull out your phone. Instead, you knock it to the floor. Tears gather in your eyes because this night just can’t cut you a break.
“Motherfucker,” you whisper.
Hood turns, those frightening white eyes now on you. Jerry also looks at you, legs still dangling.
“Hey,” Hood says without a sign of struggle. “Shit. Y'alright? Did I swipe ya?”
“No,” you say, voice shaky.
His posture softens. “Okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Don’t be afraid.”
“I believe you. But, um… you're in the women's bathroom.”
Red Hood gives the room a onceover.
“Huh. So we are. Dunno how that happened.” He shakes Jerry by the collar. “Why’d you run into the women’s bathroom, asshole?”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Don't kill me!” Jerry wails.
“Shut it, Jesus. I'm not gonna kill you. Not yet, anyway.”
“It's fine, I was just leaving,” you say, bending down to get your purse.
“Hey, no, don't let me push you out,” Hood says. “Sorry. I'll be gone in a couple minutes.”
Hood adjusts his grip so Jerry's face is against the wall, arms and legs restrained. Then he zipties Jerry and sits him down hard on the floor. Hood presses a button on his helmet.
“Yo, N, I'm at Prescott's. Yeah, with Jerry. No, I didn't tell him to run in here, he did that all on his own! Well, I chased him for ten blocks, so I’d prefer if you’d keep your bitching to yourself. Thank you… Okay, we're in the women's bathroom, so—well, I didn't do it on purpose! No, I’m—will you just come here? There’s a side window.” Hood presses the button again with a grunt. “Dickhead.”
“Are you gonna erase my memory?” you ask.
Hood jerks, turning back to you.
“What? Hell no, I'm not gonna erase your memory. I don't do that shit, I promise.”
You slump against the sink. “That's too bad. I would prefer it.”
He looks up from Jerry’s last ziptie and pulls it extra tight. Jerry whimpers.
“How come?” Hood asks.
You shake your head. “It's nothing.”
“Hm. Doesn't look like nothing. If you're in danger—”
“I'm not in danger. I…”
You glance at Hood. You can't see his face, but his body language seems genuine. From what you've heard, Hood isn't known for mincing words or doing things he doesn't want to. And he’s good to Gothamites. Well, the law-abiding ones, anyway. He’s even been endorsed by Batman.
What's the harm in telling him about your disastrous night? Not like you'll see him again. Or Jerry.
“I got dumped,” you say.
“Ah.” Hood nods. “Been there.”
Somehow, the idea of Red Hood getting dumped is weirder than him beating up a guy in the women’s bathroom of Prescott’s.
You sniffle, and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand.
“Yeah, um. It was our three year anniversary today. He took me here, told me he was in love with his yoga instructor, and then left.”
You tear up thinking about it. Hood makes a quiet noise.
“Shit. Well, I haven't been there,” he says. “But I know infidelity. I'm sorry. Dudes are trash.”
“And it's my birthday today,” you blurt, sniffling.
“Happy birthday,” Jerry says, clutching his stomach.
“What a fucking asshole!” Hood snarls, and lets go of Jerry, who crumples like a sack of potatoes. He’s out cold in a second, frozen on the floor.
Your brows rise. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. It’s his first time in Gotham.” Hood shrugs. “Anyway, where was I? Right, your asshole ex. Like it's not enough to publicly dump you, and then he goes and does it on your birthday? Who is this guy? I'll go talk to him right now.”
You laugh a loud, snorting laugh. It bounces off the tiles.
Hood tilts his head. “What’d I say?”
You catch your breath and wave your hand.
“No, nothing, I’m sorry. I’ve just had a crappy night and that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever offered to me.”
“I mean it,” Hood says. “I’ll scare him if you want.”
“As tempting as that is, I don’t want to be an accessory to a crime.”
You also don’t want to put your ex in the ICU, no matter how much he might deserve it. Best to let the universe do its thing.
“You’d be acquitted, don’t worry.” Hood leans against the stall. “I’d never letcha go to jail.”
You smile, your ears growing warm. “You don’t even know me. What if I deserve it?”
“Nah. I got a good sense about people. I can tell you’re sweet. Probably don’t even run through red lights.”
“I try not to,” you say, heat spreading to your face.
“Yeah, a good girl. I figured as much.”
Your eyes widen. Hood coughs and rubs his neck. Even his coughs sound intimidating through the helmet, but that’s negated by his scrunched-up posture.
“Fuck. Sorry. That wasn’t a come-on,” he says. “I mean, it sounded like one, but I’m realizing what a creep I am, flirting with you in a bathroom with a zip-tied criminal. Sorry.” He shakes his head. “I hate myself.”
You grin. “It’s okay. You made my night better, actually. Thanks.”
“That’s a testament to how terrible your night’s been if I made it better.”
You shrug. “Could always be worse. I bet Jerry had an even shittier night than me.”
“You’d win that bet. But I—”
The window swings open with a clunk. Nightwing pops his head in. He looks at Hood, then you.
“Uh,” he says. “Evening. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is it took you almost ten minutes to get here,” Hood says, back in Vigilante Mode. “Did you get lost?”
Nightwing smiles with all his teeth. “I was actually cleaning up your mess at the Bowery, Hood. You’re welcome.”
He looks at you. “Hi. Sorry about this. I hope we didn’t ruin your night. If there’s anything we can reimburse you for…”
You shake your head. “It’s okay. My night was already sunk. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for keeping Gotham safe.”
Nightwing laughs. “The pleasure is ours.”
“Alright, enough chattering, Dickwing,” Hood says. “Take him.”
He lifts the unconscious Jerry, pushing him up to the window. He does so effortlessly, his jacket riding up to reveal his skin-tight jumpsuit.
You look away before he catches you staring. There’s definitely something wrong with you.
Nightwing takes Jerry and waves at you. Then he disappears.
“So, uh,” Hood says. “I gotta go.”
“Oh! Right, of course. Sorry to keep you.”
“Now what’re you apologizing for?” he asks, and it almost sounds like a tease. You wonder what his smile looks like. What color his eyes are.
“Well, I really didn’t mean to keep you…”
“You didn’t keep me,” Hood says, and you can hear the warmth even through his decoder. “This is probably the best arrest I’ve ever made.”
He starts to climb through the window, then stops. He digs into one of the pockets of his belt and pulls out a scrap of paper.
“This is my number,” he says. “Well, it’s kind of the vigilante hotline. But you can reach me here, in case you ever need help.”
Hood walks over to give it to you. He smells like gunpowder and oranges. He’s even larger this close, the width of his shoulders dwarfing you.
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
He nods and backs up, clapping his hands.
“Right. So I’ll go… Bye.”
Hood looks at you for a moment more. Then he hops up onto the window sill and slides out, somehow graceful despite his bulk. The window closes.
Your dress has dried, which is nice. You walk out of the bathroom. It’s a miracle no one else has come in.
You get your coat and this time, when you see the empty seat across from yours, you don’t burst into tears, which is progress. You call another Uber and go to wait for it at the front. The hostess approaches you.
“Ma’am?” she says, and holds out a small, plastic container. In it is a slice of tiramisu.
“I didn’t order this,” you say.
“It was called in and paid for by a Mr. R.H. He wishes you a happy birthday.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
You’re definitely leaving a five-star review on Yelp.
#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd fanfiction#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood imagine#batman fanfiction#dc fanfiction#jason todd reader insert
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 12: Age Gap
Haerin x Male Reader
Kinkvember Day 12
She was sitting alone at a quaint coffee shop in Greenwich Village, her eyes scanning the crowd as she sipped her latte. She was new to the city and hadn't made many friends yet. As she looked up from her book, her gaze met mine. I was a 40-year-old man with a lean, muscular build, and I couldn't help but be drawn to her youthful charm.
"Excuse me," I said, leaning over her table. "I couldn't help but notice your book. Are you enjoying it?"
She looked up at me, a slight smile playing on her lips. "Yes, it's a classic. Have you read it?"
I nodded. "Many times. It's one of my favorites."
We spent the next hour talking about literature, art, and the city. Haerin was intelligent and witty, and I found myself increasingly drawn to her. As we left the coffee shop together, I suggested we continue our conversation over dinner. She agreed, and we walked to a nearby restaurant.
Over dinner, our conversation turned more personal. I learned about her dreams and aspirations, and she asked about my experiences in the city. The chemistry between us was palpable, and as the night wore on, I found myself wanting her more and more.
"You know," I said, leaning closer to her across the table, "I've really enjoyed our conversation tonight. But I have to admit, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything but you."
She blushed slightly, her eyes flickering with a mix of surprise and excitement. "Is that so?"
I nodded. "Yes. In fact, I think I'd like to see you again. And not just for dinner."
She raised an eyebrow, a playful smile on her lips. "Oh, really? And what did you have in mind?"
I leaned in, my voice low and husky. "I think you know what I'm talking about, Haerin."
She held my gaze for a moment before her eyes flicked down to my lips. "I think I do," she whispered.
The following week, Haerin came over to my apartment. As soon as she walked in, I could see the desire in her eyes. I poured us some wine, and we sat on the couch, our bodies close but not yet touching.
"You're beautiful, Haerin," I said, my hand reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I've been thinking about you all day long."
She leaned into my touch, her eyes never leaving mine. "I've been thinking about you too," she admitted.
I leaned in and captured her lips in a soft, gentle kiss. She responded eagerly, her lips parting to allow my tongue to explore her mouth. Our kiss deepened, becoming more passionate and intense.
I broke away from her lips and trailed kisses down her neck, feeling her pulse quicken under my touch. She moaned softly, her head falling back to give me better access. I nipped at her earlobe, making her gasp.
"You taste so good," I murmured, my hand sliding up her thigh. "I want to taste more of you."
She shivered at my words, her breath coming in short gasps. I unbuttoned her blouse slowly, revealing her smooth, creamy skin. I leaned down and captured one of her nipples in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it before sucking gently.
"Oh, God," she moaned, her hands tangling in my hair. "That feels so good."
I switched to her other nipple, giving it the same attention. Haerin's body was on fire, her hips moving restlessly against mine. I could feel her heat through her jeans, and I knew she was ready for more.
I unbuttoned her jeans and slipped a hand inside, finding her wet and ready. I stroked her slowly, my fingers exploring her folds. She gasped and bucked against my hand, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps.
"You're so wet," I murmured, my voice thick with desire. "I can't wait to taste you."
I slid my fingers out of her and brought them to my lips, sucking them clean. Her eyes widened at the sight, and I could see the desire in them. I pushed her back onto the couch and slid down her body, my hands gripping her hips.
I hooked my fingers into her jeans and panties and pulled them down, revealing her glistening pussy. I leaned in and ran my tongue along her slit, tasting her sweetness. She moaned and arched her hips, giving me better access.
I licked and sucked at her clit, my tongue swirling around it before flicking it lightly. Haerin's moans grew louder, her hands gripping the couch cushions. I slipped two fingers inside her, curling them up to hit her G-spot.
"Oh, God, yes," she cried out, her hips moving in time with my fingers. "Right there, don't stop."
I kept up the pressure, my fingers moving in and out of her while my tongue worked her clit. Her breath came in short gasps, her body tensing as she neared the edge.
"I'm close," she panted. "So close."
I increased the pressure, my fingers moving faster and harder. Haerin cried out, her body convulsing as she came. I lapped up her juices, savoring her taste.
I stood up and undressed quickly, my cock rock hard and ready. Haerin watched me, her eyes filled with desire. I climbed on top of her, my cock poised at her entrance.
"Are you ready for me?" I asked, my voice gruff with desire.
She nodded, her eyes locking onto mine. "Yes," she whispered. "I'm ready."
I pushed into her slowly, giving her time to adjust to my size. She was tight and wet, her pussy gripping my cock like a velvet glove. I groaned at the sensation, my hips moving slowly at first before picking up speed.
"You feel so good," I grunted, my hips moving faster. "So tight and wet."
Haerin wrapped her legs around my waist, her hips moving in time with mine. "Faster," she begged. "Harder."
I obliged, my hips slamming into hers as I fucked her hard and fast. The sound of our bodies slapping together filled the room, our moans and cries echoing off the walls.
"Oh, God, yes," Haerin cried out. "Right there, don't stop."
I could feel my orgasm building, my cock throbbing inside her. I reached between us and rubbed her clit, my fingers moving in time with my hips. Haerin's eyes rolled back, her body tensing as she came again.
"I'm going to come," I groaned, my body tensing as I pushed into her one last time. "I'm going to fill you with my cum."
I came with a roar, my body shaking as I filled her with my seed. I collapsed on top of her, our bodies slick with sweat. I rolled off of her and pulled her into my arms, our bodies still joined.
"That was incredible," she whispered, her fingers tracing patterns on my chest.
I smiled, my eyes closed. "It was," I agreed. "And I'm not done with you yet."
We spent the rest of the night exploring each other's bodies, our passion and desire never waning. As the sun rose, we lay entwined in each other's arms, our bodies sated and satisfied.
503 notes
·
View notes
Text
signals - Chris Sturniolo
summary: after you accidentally reject your best friend chris, he gets upset with you because you gave him 'mixed signals'.
contains: angst, crying, bestfriend!chris, arguing, fluff
----------------------------------------------------------
chris lays on my chest as we both mindlessly scroll through our phones, no words have been said in the past 30 minutes, we've just been enjoying eachothers company.
suddenly chris speaks up,
"i can tell you anything- right?" he says quietly, putting his phone down beside him.
i let out a small laugh,
chris and i have been best friends since our childhood, we've grown up together, we know each other better than anyone else.
"of course you can." i say, sitting up against the headboard. i run my nails through chris's silky brown hair.
"i just.. i just feel like over the past like- couple years, we've gotten much closer." he starts,
"and i kind of hate to admit this, because we promised this wouldnt happen, but i really, really like you" chris blurts out, his pale cheeks flushed pink and his blue eyes staring directly into mine.
"what-?" i laugh nervously,
chris goes silent, fidgeting with his nails.
"what do you mean 'what'?" chris says, his voice small.
i inspect his facial expression for any signs that hes joking.
"you're kidding- right?" i say with a nervous smile on my face, my heart beating in my chest.
"obviously im not kidding- im trying to fucking confess to you!" chris grows frustrated, running a hand through his hair.
i grab his hand and intertwine our fingers, in an attempt to calm him down.
"i- only see you as a friend chris-" i say bluntly,
chris's face falls,
"what?"
i clutch his hand tighter, chris looks heartbroken.
"im sorry-" i start but he cuts me off,
"i dont understand, for the past 3 fucking years you've been doing shit like this-!" chris rambles, pointing down to our interlocked hands.
"you literally led me on to the point of me confessing to you, you keep 'kissing up on my face and shit and hugging me all the time-" chris continues to ramble on, he looks angry.
"im sorry- im just a touchy person." i interrupt him,
"just a touchy person? friends don't act like us," chris starts up again.
"you dont understand how confusing it is to have the girl i like- yo! touching up on me every. single. time. we see eachother? does it not say something that almost everyone we know thinks we're dating!?" chris raises his voice,
"dont put this on me." i state,
chris stands up, "you never fail to make me look like a moron."
i furrow my eyebrows, "chris, you're just upset right now." i speak softly,
"of course im upset- you've gave me mixed signals for the past couple years!" his voice raises,
"i havent," i state,
chris's eyes are glazed, he looks like hes on the verge of tears.
"chris c'mere." i mutter, patting the spot next to me on the bed, urging him to sit back down.
"what are you gonna do next? makeout with me when i sit down? then tell me that its a friendly thing to do!?" chris yells,
im taken aback by his yelling, chris never yells at me.
"you're a real bitch y'know that?" chris says, his hands balled up in fists at his sides.
"chris-" i try to interrupt his tangent,
"no!" he cuts me off, his voice shaky and his hair now dishelved.
i watch as a couple tears fall down his cheeks, which he quickly wipes away with the back of his hands.
"look i think you should maybe go home- and sleep on this for a bit." i sigh, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
chris had planned to sleep over here, like most nights, but thats now been cut short.
chris covers his eyes with a hand, throwing his head back before walking out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
what. the. fuck.
"what just happened." i groan to myself, flopping backwards on the matress,
i hear chris lock himself in the spare room,
i feel uterlly overwhelmed, trying to process what just happened.
i dont know why i rejected chris so harshly.
i've never really thought of him romantically, its never been something that crossed my mind. but chris is a sweet boy, he gets along with my family, he's kind to me, most of the time.
hes also attractive, its embarrassing to admit, but my social media is constantly filled with stupid edits of him.
it wouldn't hurt to give him a try? give us a try.
-
(the next morning)
i dont remember when i fell asleep last night, but its currently 9:00am the next morning.
i groan as i peel open my eyes, the blinding sun shining through the curtain onto my face.
i sit up, standing up out of bed and walking into my bathroom,
i quickly brush my teeth, touch up my makeup, and fix my hair before walking out of my bedroom into the empty hallway.
my feet take me towards the spare bedroom, where chris is currently in.
i open the door, chris is laying across the bed, his phone in one hand.
"hey." i whisper softly,
chris glances up at me, his eyes puffy.
"im sorry about the things i said." chris mutters, looking up at me
i jump into bed beside him,
"ive just never really been rejected like that." chris says softly,
i nod,
chris looks like hes on the verge of tears again,
"you're allowed to cry, that was a pretty big night, wasn't it?" i speak to chris as though hes a child, which seems to calm him down somewhat.
chris nods, tears continuing to roll down his face.
"i just didn't sleep at all last night- and im so so embarrased." chris sobs, burying his face into my shoulder.
"shh- hey-" i whisper, stroking his back.
"you wanna hear something?" i ask,
chris nods,
"i thought about it last night, and i wasnt fair on you, ive never even thought about you romantically, but now that i know thats even an option ive realised that i think i do love you a lot chris." i start
chris tenses,
"maybe we could give it a try?" i ask,
chris looks at me and nods frantically, "y-yes! yeah!" he tries to play it off poorly.
i smile, "yeah?"
chris grins back, "yeah!"
i lean foward and pepper kisses all over his face, before placing a final kiss on his lips.
chris smiles against my lips,
god, this felt so right.
-----------
a/n: just felt like it tonight!
@starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 9 9 @sturnthepot t t @zayyluvz z z @realuvrrr r r r @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs s @riowritesitall l l l @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsdoll l @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour r @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnn n @sturnioloxlver r @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s @ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya a @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney y y @lovingchrissposts @333michelle e @h3arts4harry y @jamiesturniolo o @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees enxtrees @certifiednatelover r r @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast t t t t @yomamaslays4lyfe e @peachmelbaesunpostre @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 9 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc c c c @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise se e @sturni0l0tripletzz z 0 @ratatioulle @sturnsforlife v @mattsonly @justalittle47 7 @sunsetsturniolos s @downbad4reid @strniololoverr @obvisturns
@ellizzyy @colorthecosmos444 @mattspolitank @sturnblog @gabssturniolo @mattstromboli @sierrraaaasturn @milliegvrl @sturniolo-wife @ilovecats0402 @zayyluvz @urfavmattgal @eyelovedher89 @ireadstoriss @princesseva @edgemaster696 @itztimeeee @savvyratatouille @yourmama1 @kaisturni @angel4matt @arianatheway @mattsfavbigtitties @livelovelaughlanadelray @iheartblueyesxoxo @gloomy-ghoulz @megamorgan44 @stasiesturn @sturnzyolo @enemiestolovershoe @yomamaslays4lyfe @sturniolostrawberry @lizzysmith110 @jetaimevous @sturniolotripletsfandom @m4rriii @mayax2o07 @stellasturnzz @venusxsturnio @ana-sofia00 @flouqiis @lovekaiya @stayingstromboli @sturniolo-luv @theyluvme-2315 @annedebeijer @ashleysturn @flouqiis @bellaloves-drpepper @tpvmz @mattsbrowser @sturnrn @starchrisnam @rafecameronsbitch @zosturns @ashlishes @skysturniolo @littlemisswhore @olivialovessturniolo @1c3b4th @jmendez04 @melschapstick @starsturniolos
#sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
matching bracelets (kaz brekker x reader)
summary: when (y/n) buys kaz a bracelet she does so as a joke, she knows he’ll never actually wear it. imagine her surprise when she sees it dangling around his wrist.
based on the prompt: person A gets person B a friendship bracelet, expecting person B to never wear it, but when it’s given to them person B puts it on and is rarely seen with it off.
warnings: mentions of blood and torture (not explicit, briefly mentioned)
kaz taglist: @the-tpd-bau @ellievickstar @thestudiouswanderer | soc taglist: @ancientbeing10 (if you want to be added or removed from the taglist just dm me!)
a/n: guess who's back after a year of being mia!! i've been working on a lot of fics, but inspiration just hasn't been there, so i'm going slow, i don't like to force myself to write if i don't feel like it. anywaysss, i hope you enjoy this one! it was such a fun ride to write :)
Jesper opens the door with a loud bang, strutting into the Slat with his head held high and a slight jump in his step. He’s whistling good-naturedly, his left hand twirling a pistol and his right hand holding a rumpled piece of paper.
(Y/N)’s right hand— which had immediately reached for the pocket knife in her boot at the tumultuous noise— retreats back to her side. She relaxes, letting her shoulders sag and briefly looking down to make the final correction on a contract Kaz had her look over, left hand holding the pen and swiftly moving over the paper.
Jesper makes his way towards her, still whistling. She follows him from the corner of her eye, a slight smirk taking over her features. He’s in a good mood, the kind of mood he’s only ever in when the Gods are in his favor and he manages to miraculously not gamble away all his money. It’s not something that happens often.
“Did you win some?” she asks, already knowing the answer but enjoying the way the Sharpshooter preens under the attention. Jesper, very much in character and to (Y/N)’s delight, twirls around and does a ridiculous dance before taking a small bow.
“Baby, I won a whole lot.”
She huffs out a laugh, leaning back as she watches him place the pistol in its respective holster before plopping down on the chair by her right side and tossing her a small bag.
(Y/N) catches it smoothly, reflexes as sharp as always.
She doesn’t need to open the sack to know there’s kruge in there; the sound of coins jiggling against each other is a dead giveaway.
Jesper winks, a teasing smile on his lips. He tips his chair back, feet on top of the table, “Because you’re my favorite.”
It’s really because he owes her more kruge than he’ll ever be able to repay, but (Y/N) plays along. She’s never cared much about money, anyways.
“You sure do know how to charm a lady,” she smirks.
“I’m good at charming gents, too.”
“Versatile.”
“You know me.”
(Y/N) smiles, softer around the edges this time, something reserved only for her closest friends. She’s about to being correcting another contact— she has twelve to go through, all because she’d been bored and had decided annoying Kaz would be a great way to spend her time, he obviously hadn’t agreed —when Jesper slides over the piece of paper he’d been holding in his right hand. In the time he’d made his way towards her he’d somehow managed to crumple it completely.
She takes it, half curious, half willing to do anything to procrastinate revising and correcting those stupid documents.
“Brought this for you, too. I’ve got the feeling you’re going to enjoy this much more than the money.”
Her eyebrows furrow with curiosity as she slowly opens up the paper.
Ink contrasts the yellowish hue of the paper. Her own face greets her, drawn by hand, but fairly accurate.
(Y/N) (Y/L/N)
Wanted dead or alive.
1,000 kruge.
She can’t help the snicker that falls from her lips
Jesper is right. This is better, much better.
“Can’t believe it’s only a thousand this time,” she huffs, a small pout on her lips. “I must be losing my touch.”
Jesper snorts at that.
(Because she hasn’t lost her touch, not even a little, and they both know it. Just yesterday she’d managed to get vital information out of a Black Tip member with a single touch and a minimal amount of bloodshed. Three days before that she’d disposed of a rival gang member who’d been speaking too freely and she’d made sure his body would never be found. Two weeks prior to that Kaz had sent her to steal a miniature stature and she’d done it without a hitch, forging an identical copy in less than five days. No, she still very much has it.)
“I might have to go overboard next time,” she muses quietly to herself, “do something that will raise the bounty to at least two thousand five hundred.”
She traces the outline of her name, biting down a smile when Jesper snorts.
“You’re insane,�� the Sharpshooter deadpans, the fondness in his tone almost tangible.
(Y/N) smiles wickedly at him, “So they say.”
Marbles is what they’ve nicknamed her around the Barrel. They say she’s lost them all. And it must be true, she must be out of her mind, because having a bounty on your head in Ketterdam is nothing less than a death sentence. It means having the most ruthless assassins coming after you, all looking for a way to make fast money. It’s living with the constant fear of someone sneaking up on you and slicing your throat, of having your food poisoned, of being choked to death in your sleep, of having your closest friends betray you as a means to survive. But to (Y/N), who has been part of the city’s underworld since before being able to formulate words, who has had any sort of ability to feel fear beaten out of her, this is nothing but one of the most amazing sources of entertainment. It keeps her on her toes, brings an adrenaline rush that does not compare to anything else. She must be crazy because any sane person would be paralyzed in fear, running for their lives, and yet all she can feel is the comforting thrill of being in mortal danger. (And, yes, it is comforting. She was raised to be a weapon, trained to withstand any form of torture; having Death peering over her shoulder is something she’s comfortable with, something she’s used to, something that soothes her). Besides, even if she wasn’t deadly confident in her own abilities (which she very much is), and even if she was able to feel terror overtaking her limbs (which she doesn’t think she’ll ever feel again), the title she holds would be enough to keep her relatively safe; she is Kaz’s right hand, and no one dares touch something that belongs to Dirtyhands.
(Y/N) stares at the poster for a little while longer— they got her nose wrong, made it too pointy —before smirking to herself. She knows how this will all go down, has seen it played out a few dozen times before (this is a regular occurrence, after all, a bounty is placed on her head every couple of months, whenever she loses her temper and murders someone who was deemed untouchable, or steals something much too valuable for her blood-stained hands). So, yes, she knows how this will go; the bounty will stay up for a couple of weeks, long enough for a few to dare try to kill her, and then it’ll be removed by whoever placed it once they realize it’s futile, once they see how everyone who even dares breathe too close to her winds up dead. She hopes the assassination attempts are entertaining, she hopes whoever dares come after her head gives her a good fight, if only to keep things interesting. It’s been a while since she’s had some unrestrained fun.
(Kaz keeps her on a tight rein, knows better than to let her run around freely. To say things can get out of hand when she’s left to her own devices would be an understatement.)
“Again?”
The voice comes from behind her, and (Y/N) doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, she heard his steps since before he even walked into the room. (It’s easy to know when it’s Kaz, he subconsciously places more weight on his left leg to keep the right one from aching, it makes his footsteps distinctive.) Still, she angles her head to meet his eyes. He’s leaning over her chair, cold eyes watching the bounty poster with disdain.
He’s never said it but (Y/N) knows that he doesn’t appreciate her life being imperiled. She is, in a way, an extension of him, and therefore any threats to her he sees as direct threats to him. Dirtyhands doesn’t take it well to being threatened.
“It’s okay, boss,” Jesper calls out. He’s still tipping his chair back, now playing with his guns. (Y/N) is kind of tempted to lean forward and kick one of the chair’s wooden legs, just to watch him struggle, possibly even fall. But Jesper’s known her long enough to realize when she’s on the verge of becoming a nuisance because his eyes narrow playfully and he lets the chair’s weight drop forward, “I wouldn’t worry too much.”
From the corner of her eye, (Y/N) can see the way Kaz’s face morphs. It’s almost indistinguishable, but she notices it. She thinks she would be able to spot the most minimal change in Kaz, she’s known him long enough for that. (Y/N) watches in amusement as he opens his mouth, no doubt to argue that he isn’t worrying at all, because Gods forbid he ever outwardly cared about anyone, but Jesper beats him to the punch and keeps going, “Heard some of Pekka’s Lions talking ‘bout how they’re not even going to try to come after her this time.”
“How boring,” she mutters to herself in disappointment, reaching for her glass of whisky. She’d meant for the comment to go unheard but Jesper’s snicker tells her that she wasn’t successful.
She takes a chug as Jesper points an accusatory finger at her and smirks, “That’s all on you, Marbles.”
At her bewildered look, he elaborates, “Two of them said something about not wanting to meet the same fate as the Razorgull guy from a couple of months ago—” (Y/N) smirks at that. The guy had deserved it. He hadn’t just tried to kill her, but also grope her. Murder she could understand, respect even, but touching someone else without their consent? No, she drew the line there. She’d had him swallow his own testicles; it’d seemed fitting enough. “—and the other one said that even if you hadn’t done that, he wouldn’t come close, not with you being Kaz’s right hand,” Jesper pauses for a second, a smug smile appearing on his lips, “and his best friend.”
Their reaction is instantaneous; Kaz goes rigid at the words and a smirk takes over (Y/N)’s features.
Oh, if the night didn’t just suddenly get better.
She glances up at her best friend, only to find him already glaring daggers at Jesper, who shrugs helplessly and innocently says, “Just telling it like I heard it, boss.” The flicker of amusement in his eyes reveals that he’s very much aware of just how much ammunition he’s provided (Y/N) with.
(Y/N)’s smirk becomes wider and gains a teasing edge when Kaz looks down to meet her eyes. His eyes harden, explicitly telling her to not utter a single word. Sadly for him, she has never been one to follow the rules, and Kaz must notice she’s not about to obey because his face morphs slightly, just enough to show the most minimum amount of discomfort. He cringes just the tiniest bit, bracing himself.
He knows her too well.
“You hear that?” she asks him, tone light and filled with amusement, “We’re best friends!”
“We are not,” Kaz tenses his jaw as he replies. He backs away from her, as if creating physical space between them will somehow stop the words from leaving her mouth and making their way towards him. As if distance could make her less of an bother.
(Y/N) fake gasps, clutching the skin over her heart in the most dramatic manner, “You wound me deeply, Kazzy.”
Jesper snorts, coughing to try to drown the laughter. She might be the only one who doesn’t get a knife to the jugular when calling him that.
Kaz’s eyes snap toward the Sharpshooter and the look must be deadly because Jesper quiets down immediately and tries his best to evade the boss’s glare. Kaz’s gaze then shifts towards (Y/N) and she perks up at the way his eyes harden even further in annoyance. He’s told her a million times to drop that ‘ridiculously stupid’ nickname and she’s decided she never will, not when it drives him to this point of exasperation.
(She’s a thrill chaser, you see. That’s what happens when you’ve seen just about everything and lived twice as much; few things get your heart pumping. And getting on Kaz’s nerves? That’s always exciting. (Y/N) never knows what to expect of him. The Bastard of the Barrel is unpredictable in a way that’s just delightful.)
“If you call me that one more time—”
“What are you gonna do? You can’t possibly try to hurt me. Best friends don’t do that to each other,” she mocks.
His eyebrow twitches, her grin stretches.
Oh, she’s going to have a field day with this one.
It’s obvious that Kaz knows he’s not winning this discussion because he walks forward, snatches the revised contracts and makes his way back to where he came from.
“Get those done before tomorrow afternoon.”
Boring. She was expecting more banter.
(Y/N) turns around to watch him leave, unable to stop herself from throwing a sarcastic, “Sure thing, bestie.” She does her best to sweeten the last word in a way that she knows will infuriate Kaz.
He freezes.
Bingo.
Even from afar, (Y/N) can see the way he tightens the grip on his cane. She’s thoroughly disappointed when he doesn’t throw a dagger her way. That would’ve been exciting. He takes another route, one she should’ve seen coming.
“I’ve got seven more files that need to be corrected. Collect them when you’re done with those.”
The corner of her lips tugs upwards slightly. There’s something thrilling about playing this game with Kaz, of seeing how much one of them can push before the other yields. He’s skilled and she enjoys the competition.
She ignores his order, “Goodnight, Kazzy.”
He slams the door on his way out, the only visible sign that she managed to get on his nerves. That’s mildly entertaining. Causing even the slightest slip of Kaz’s control over his temper is a success in her books.
“You’re out of your mind,” Jesper informs her.
She raises her glass of whisky at him and winks.
And that’s how it begins, as a joke. (Y/N) refers to Kaz as her best friend on every given chance. His reactions never disappoint.
There’s a lot of death threats;
(“Don’t mind him, bestie here is always grumpy.”
Clenched jaw, an exasperated sigh. “I will murder you.”
“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Kazzy.”
There’s a knife thrown her way. (Y/N) catches it with ease, whistling good-naturedly. She smirks when she catches the look of annoyance in Kaz’s face.)
and a lot of not so kind words thrown her way.
(“I get special best friend privileges, right?”
“You get tolerated,” Kaz mutters, “barely.”
“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. Now tell me you love me.”
There’s that Brekker glare, one that would send anyone to an early grave. (Y/N) just smiles sweetly.
“Get out.”
“Whatever makes you happy, best friend.”
She cackles as she closes the door behind her, the curses Kaz is sending her way loud enough for her to hear.)
All in all, (Y/N) is as happy as can be. Having the time of her life, really. It’s not often that she finds something that makes Kaz fume. He plays the game too, of course. He has her going over financial documents and legal contracts on her free time, knowing just how much she hates the bureaucracy, and he gives her the household chores she despises the most. Still, (Y/N) doesn’t complain. She does everything with a smug smile on her face. The annoyance that flashes through Kaz’s face makes it all worth it.
The bracelet isn’t something she plans for, it really isn’t, but the Saints place the opportunity right in front of her and who is she but a mere mortal that must obey the signs evidently laid by otherworldly deities (or whatever bullshit those religious fanatics preach).
(Y/N) inspects the wristlets in her hand. They’re black and rough, made of broken-down nets that fishermen dispose of near the pier when the material has worn down beyond repair and is no longer useful. The little girl who had sold it to her couldn’t have been older than seven, and yet the design was more than decent. (Y/N) had offered three kruge for it, much more than it was worth. The child had looked delighted, had thanked her profusely as she’d placed the coins inside her worn-down shoes.
Oh, (Y/N) cannot wait to see Kaz’s face.
“What’s that?” Jesper asks as she meets up with him, eying the bracelets with a gleam of interest. He twirls his guns absentmindedly, missing the way some of the fishermen glance at him with distrust.
“Oh, you know, just some matching bracelets for me and my best friend.”
Jesper snickers, shaking his head and proceeding to let out a low whistle.
“This might be his breaking point.”
“Wouldn’t that be delightful.”
“You’re insane, Marbles.”
She gives him a wicked smile accompanied by a wink. She’s about to retort when she catches sight of a shadow on the corner of her eye. She recognizes it immediately as her target. Shopping, as fun as it had been, wasn’t the reason she and Jesper were waiting by the pier. They’ve got orders. She has people to torture and interrogate and dispose of— preferably in a quiet manner —and Jesper is Kaz’s way of making sure she’s got her back covered. (Not that she needs backup, but whatever, she has tried arguing with Kaz about it and it’s the one thing he won’t relent on, the one matter she’s accepted she won't ever win. Kaz doesn't play when it comes to her safety.).
“If you’re kind enough to hold these for me,” she places the bracelets on Jesper’s unoccupied hand, “I’ll be back before you know it.”
They make it back to the Slat before sunrise. (Y/N) had been quick and efficient, as she always was, and Jesper had been a quiet and solid shadow, as he always was.
“I assume it all went according to plan,” the Bastard asks when he hears their steps coming into his office. It’s late, or rather extremely early in the morning, and yet (Y/N) isn’t surprised by Kaz’s presence. He rarely sleeps.
“It went without a hitch, boss,” Jesper responds, resting against the doorframe.
(Y/N) hesitates for a split second, her memory providing a brief flashback to the interrogation she’d done, to three little words the man had let slip out: they’re coming for you.
A warning or maybe a promise.
Thrilling, either way. It wasn’t often that she was verbally threatened.
At the time, she’d dismissed the words, too filled with bloodlust to pay them any mind, but now, with a clear mind and a steady heartbeat, she suddenly remembers her face plastered on paper all over Ketterdam and wonders if the words might be related to the bounty on her head.
Oh, she hopes so. That would prove to be fun.
They’re coming for you. Good. Let them try.
She nods her head in agreement with Jesper’s words. Kaz nods in approval and then jerks his chin Jesper’s way, a clear sign of dismissal. The Sharpshooter never walks into Kaz’s office after missions like this. He’s an escort, a babysitter of sorts, merely Kaz’s way of making sure she heads his way instead of making a beeline for her bed.
(Y/N) sticks her tongue out at him and Jesper blows her a kiss in response.
Lucky bastard. It’s always her that has to stay up to report. And she hates to admit it, but she’s tired, she can feel the exhaustion begin to creep on her bones and settle in. She has been up for more than thirty-seven hours at this point, and she can feel it catching up to her. Still, she knows that Kaz prefers to hear details when the information is fresh on her mind, when she can provide as much detail as possible, so she pushes through for him. She just has to wait a little while longer before crawling into her bed and passing out for the next twelve hours.
“Marbles comes bearing gifts by the way,” is the last thing the Sharpshooters says before exiting.
A smirk takes over her features, sleep, exhaustion and the new information briefly forgotten.
Kaz is going to hate it.
Lovely.
Kaz seems to sense, probably by the wicked amusement on her face, that whatever it is it’s not something he’s going to enjoy. His face twists into a scowl.
“Out with it, then.”
She pulls out the dark bracelet from her pocket as she walks towards Kaz, dangling it in front of his face when she’s close enough.
Jesper had handed them back on the way home, tossing them over as soon as she’d wiped the blood off her hands. He hadn’t said a word, but (Y/N) knew that the action had meant to snap her out of the weird haze that clouded her mind after every mission, where adrenaline still coursed through her body and all she could think about was bloodshed, fingers itching to kill and maim and fight.
(It was a thing, the haze. When taking lives there was nothing but calmness and bloodthirst, the restlessness that always lingered beneath her skin subsiding as soon as a weapon was placed in her hand and orders were given. And as soon as the mission was done, as soon as the target was neutralized and she’d efficiently fulfilled her orders, fogginess followed. Her mind became clouded, as if somewhat trapped in a loop of violence, every nerve on edge and ready for any threat to emerge.
She was brought up as a killing machine, a child soldier, the best out of all the assassins produced by the Silent Blades, her father’s pride. She was ruthless, wretched, or at least those had been the words used to describe her when she’d been a child. She supposed the dissociative state she slipped into was normal when considering her upbringing, some sort of psychological shield that kept her from going insane.
She never spoke about it, but the Crows somehow knew. They often eased her out of it, knowing full well that when trapped in that state she had not an ounce of thought and only muscle memory to rely on, which made her infinitely more lethal.)
Jesper’s actions had worked like a charm. With something else to do with her hands, the fogginess had ruptured. She’d absentmindedly tied one of the bracelets on her own wrist, fingers playing with the edges of the other.
It’s that bracelet, the one on her arm, that Kaz glances at now. It’s brief, but for a split second the scowl etched on his face softens and something that she can’t quite catch passes through his eyes. It’s gone before (Y/N) can even begin to process it.
“Best friends have to have matching bracelets, don’t they?” And if she wonders about it later, she’ll blame it on the exhaustion, but the words come out softer than she intends them to. A jest, but not any less truthful.
Kaz’s face morphs and she gets a fleeting glimpse at that flicker in his eyes again. His scowl melts into something a tad bit gentler, the look contrasted by the aggressiveness with which he snatches the bracelet from her hand, “You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” He means that and his tone has enough bite to make her cackle.
Amusing.
Placing her hands on her back pockets and shrugging, she responds, “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Kaz snorts, “Go take a bath.” He dismisses her, turning around and making his way to his desk, “Reports can wait until you don’t look half dead.”
That’s unexpected.
(Y/N) raises her eyebrows, “You’re being nice.” It isn’t often that Kaz forgoes a report after a mission. He might’ve been more touched by the gift than he’s letting on.
“It’s for my own sake,” he retorts, not turning around, “you just stink and it’s making me nauseous.”
She does have a lingering smell of blood and sea water.
“Everything in this damned place stinks,” she responds. I know you’re lying, she’s saying, I know you’re being kind.
“Get out.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” (Y/N) mocks, walking out of his office.
She sleeps a full day after that, everyone knowing better than to bother her unless they want to lose to their head, and when she reports to Kaz the next morning the three words she’d heard from the man slip her mind. (Y/N) doesn’t remember them until a few weeks later when she’s tied to the ceiling by her wrists, face bleeding.
Now, she must admit, she’s impressed. No one had ever tried kidnapping before. There’d been more attempts on her life than she could even count; stabs resulting in blood being shed, never one drop of hers, poison that she had either swallowed down like a champ or identified before a single lick of it touched her tongue, because being raised an assassin meant she’d been trained in the art of toxins and she’d built up tolerance to pretty much every substance in existence, and that one time they’d tried to shot at her, which only resulted in (Y/N) stealing Jesper’s gun and placing a bullet right between the perpetrator’s eyebrows. All in good fun. Kidnapping was new, but only because those who had attempted on her life had never tried joining forces, all of them wishing to keep the financial reward for themselves.
Torturing, that was new, too.
She could endure, of course she could, she’d been trained for this. That did not mean she’d missed it.
The poster had stated she was wanted dead or alive and it was clear that the man in front of her wanted to take his time. It was personal, she could tell by the brunt of his hits and the delicate precision of his cuts. Had she been anyone else, she would’ve been begging for it to stop, but (Y/N) was a Silent Blade, even if she’d left the organization and that life behind, and she would never break.
The only reason she was in this situation was because the assailants had gotten the upper hand. They’d used one of (Y/N)’s street urchins— a little girl with piggy tails and two missing teeth, one of the ones who gathered information for (Y/N) and traded it for food and shelter —as leverage. And time had apparently made her soft because she’d hesitated. The brief second of doubt had been everything they’d needed.
Them subduing her didn’t mean she’d gone down without a fight. There’d been five of them in the beginning. Only three remained. She’d plucked one guy’s eye out, going deep enough to sever the optic nerve and cause brain damage, and she’d ripped the other’s ear with her teeth before slitting his throat. She’d managed to stab one of the three men remaining with a dagger before being injected with some unknown serum. It hadn’t knocked her out, not the way it was supposed to if the incredulous look on her kidnapper’s face was any indication, but it had drugged her enough to allow them to overpower her.
And now here she was, slowly bleeding out.
“I intent on handing your corpse to them and claiming the reward.” He’s been quiet for so long that (Y/N) had almost forgotten his presence. She doesn’t raise her head, only looks up. It’s hard to do so when her right eye is swollen shut. “But they never specified the conditions it had to be in.”
The man has his back towards her, fingers running through a box of tools. He’s used almost all of them on her by this point. Amateur. A skilled torturer knows to go slow, to drag it out, to choose a weapon and stick to it until the person is weeping and screaming.
“It was my brother that you killed.”
That sparks her interest, a smirk taking over her bloodied lips. She looks at him, dead in the eye.
“Which one?” she taunts.
The sound of her voice, still strong despite the blood loss, startles him. He freezes for a split second, hand over a wooden baseball bat.
“What?”
She snickers, blood dripping into the floor. “I’ve killed a lot of men, darling.” The way he seethes, fury filling his features, amuses her. “So which one was your brother?”
“You had him swallow his own testicles.”
“Oh, him,” she nods her head in appreciation. “Can’t say I regret it.”
Now he’s fuming, hand shaking so badly he almost loses the grip on the bat. If (Y/N) looks close enough she can see the resemblance. Same brown hair, same nose, same crazy look in their eyes.
“I’ll make you regret it.”
“You can certainly try,” she concedes mockingly. Because, honestly, there’s nothing he can do to her that she hasn’t already withstood.
There’s a raging roar and then a burst of pain. A hit to her abdomen, which no doubt bruised a rib, and then two to her back. But it’s okay, she thinks to herself as she wheezes and coughs, trying to regain air in her lungs, she knows how to play this game and how to win it. Keep him talking, keep him angry, let him think he has the upper hand, keep him from noticing how she’s preparing to break free.
“I wonder…” he murmurs, bat dragging behind him. “You’re not particularly remarkable.” She scoffs as he begins circling her, a tactic supposed to drive the prisoner into panic at the lack of vision of their assailant. Her heart doesn’t stutter. She’s trained to identify people and objects by sound not sight. She knows precisely where he is, even if she can’t see him. “So, what makes you interesting enough for the Bastard to keep so close?”
She grins, feral and with bloodstained teeth.
“Why don’t you come closer and I’ll show you?”
His face does not change but his step falters. “You cannot believe me stupid enough to fall for that.”
“You were stupid enough to tie my wrists with handcuffs,” is all she replies before dislocating her own thumbs and releasing herself from the shackles.
She hits the floor hard, body swaying for a second. Her hands are numb, nerve endings frayed. It hits her, now that she has to keep herself outfight, just how much blood she’s lost. The edges of her vision blur.
There’s a cut on her thigh, it bleeds heavily. Her back is all flayed skin. Breathing is hard.
It doesn’t matter. She only needs four fingers and half a mind to hold and use a dagger. She shakes the dizziness off.
He comes at her, but she’s expecting that. Sidestepping him is easy, kicking him in the back as he passes by even more so.
“You’re not much without your friends and a syringe full of drugs, are you?” she stumbles a little as she taunts him. Time is not on her side, she knows this. He’s cut deep in her arms and legs, no major artery touched, but with precision to give her a slow and prolonged death. She’s been steadily bleeding for hours.
(Y/N) has to end this. Soon.
He comes for her again, and she dodges, punching him right in the gut. He feigns left and she moves away, noticing too late the fist that impacts with the right side of her face. Despite the pain, she manages to stomp his toes and slam her knee against his balls.
That does it.
A high whimper leaves his mouth and as he struggles for air, she backs up. Keeping her eyes on him, her right arm reaches back to the toolbox. She knows what she’s grasped as soon as her fingers graze it.
“Say hi to your brother for me.”
The scalpel lodges itself right on his carotid artery.
“Nice,” she mumbles in delirium as she hears him choke to death. It’d been a majestic throw.
The adrenaline is gone in a second. (Y/N) stumbles backwards, barely aware of all the tools scattering around in the floor. She lets herself rest against the wall, slowly sitting down on the floor.
She’s going to die.
It doesn’t matter that she’s managed to get rid of that poor excuse of a man. She’s too injured. She knows.
(Y/N) isn’t scared. She’s tangled with Death for a long time, and as cold begins to creep in and the edges of her vision blacken, it feels like welcoming an old friend. It feels like getting what she has always had coming for her.
The tips of her fingers begin to tingle, her body’s desperate effort at keeping her heart pumping. Her ears are ringing, hard enough that when shouts begin all that she can hear are muffled sounds.
Then someone’s touching her face. She greets the warmth.
“Fuck,” she hears as she tumbles forward, her forehead landing on a collarbone. Jesper grasps the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. At least, she thinks it’s him. Her brain feels mushy, but her nose has never failed her, and it smells like gunpowder and mint.
She’s laid down on the ground gently, probably to inspect her injuries before moving her.
“You’re going to be okay,” the Sharpshooter reassures her, but his voice is trembling. He’s scared. She must look worse than she feels, and she feels like she’s been attacked by a group of Heartrenders.
She wants to speak, to tell him it’s okay, but opening her mouth feels like an impossible task.
“Save your energy.” That’s Kaz. His voice is steady, but she can feel the underlying tension, the worry in his words. “You are not dying tonight.” And he says it with so much conviction, like he would hold her soul with his own hands to keep it anchored to her body, like he would keep her heart beating with pure willpower.
Her eyes look for him, but she catches sight of something else entirely.
“You’re wearing it.”
She must make no sense, words slurred, but Kaz understands. His whispered words are the last thing she hears before slipping out of consciousness.
“How couldn’t I?”
Then there’s nothing. She loses track of time. She comes back to her body from time to time, able to hear words but incapable of pinpointing the speaker. She’s floating, but there’s pain and aching.
“…too much blood, I don’t know…”
“…keep her alive.”
“I am trying!”
“Don’t try, do it.”
“…punctured lung, broken ribs…”
“…don’t know how she’s still alive.”
When she comes to the first thing that she feels is blinding pain. Everything hurts. Her muscles complain as she sits up. She clenches her jaw to keep the tears at bay. The worst is already over, she will not cry.
“Don’t move,” (Y/N) freezes at the command, her head snapping towards the voice. “Nina stitched you back together, I doubt she would be very happy to see all her hard work ruined.”
She gently eases herself back on the bed, fingertips running over her bandaged stomach. She can feel the edges of the stitches poking through it. It must’ve been bad, then, if she required stitches to keep the wound together. Usually, she’s a fast healer, a result of all the training she’d gone through.
“How long?” Her voice is raspy after not being used. Her throat hurts, which might be related to the way she was choked to the verge of unconsciousness several times while held hostage.
“Four nights.”
Bad then.
(Y/N) can feel Kaz’s eyes on her, assessing. She meets his stare, and it’s when she’s looking at him that a vague memory comes back.
Her eyes drift down to his wrist.
The twin bracelet to her own, the one she keeps tightly wrapped around her wrist, as if part of her own skin, greets her.
“You are wearing it.”
Kaz frowns in confusion, until he follows her line of sight. He looks away, hand clenching and unclenching over the head of his cane.
“Even after almost dying you’re still insufferable,” he responds.
But when he looks back at her, (Y/N) can see everything in his eyes.
How could I not, he’d said, and he’d meant it. If friendship was something that could bloom in a wretched place like Ketterdam, Kaz was her best friend and she was his, even if they’d never discussed it, even if they would never admit it. You’re the steady order to my unrelenting chaos, she thought to herself, someone I would follow to the end of the world.
He nods, as if reading her mind and agreeing with her.
“Rest.” That’s an order, one she has no intention of disobeying.
“Sure thing,” she responds as Kaz makes his way towards the door, “bestie.”
(Y/N) can feel the amusement in his words, “Absolutely insufferable.”
She smirks, toying with the ends of the bracelet’s strings.
(Y/N) never takes it off. Neither does Kaz.
#six of crows imagine#six of crows#shadow and bone#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker x#kaz brekker x imagine#kaz brekker x you#kaz brekker x bestfriend!reader#kaz brekker x y/n#kaz brekker x fem!reader#jesper fahey#jesper fahey x reader#jesper fahey x platonic!reader#shadow and bone imagine#grishaverse#happyyyandcrazyyy writing#shadow and bone fanfic#six of crows fanfic#fanfic#kaz x reader#kaz x you#kaz x y/n#six of crows fic#shadow and bone fic#shadow and bone fanfiction#six of crows fanfiction
805 notes
·
View notes
Note
for a drabble literally just anything cutesy with azriel like banter or ANYTHING
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Word count: ~700
Warnings: None!
a/n: I've been in a cutesy mood so I love this <3 Enjoy Azriel being a messy simp. Also this is kind of Archeron!Reader but barely.
____________________________________________
“Wonderful, my love,” Azriel smiled.
“Do you really like it?” you asked, nerves evident in the twisting of your fingers. “Because I tried something new and was positive it would taste terrible.”
“It’s delicious.”
Azriel leaned forward in his chair, resting his steady hand on both of yours. You bit your lip as he gave you a gentle nod, confirming his words. When you still looked troubled, Azriel reached out and gathered you onto his lap. His fingers came up to brush your hair back. He avoided the flour and sugar and what he thought was an eggshell as he went.
“It is, y/n,” Azriel stressed. “The best muffin I’ve ever had.”
“Okay, sure,” you deadpanned, placing your arms around his shoulders. “But you said that about the cake I made for our mating ceremony and then I tried it myself and almost gagged.”
“That was not your cake to try.”
“Greedy.”
Azriel huffed out a laugh, gazing up at you as you sat on his knee. “Why are you so concerned about this, hm? You have plenty of skills outside of baking.”
“Azriel, I’m going to be alive for a long time,” you stressed, thinking back to the finite years you were destined to before you had been thrown into the cauldron along with your sisters. “I can’t be bad at baking. That’s ridiculous.”
“There are plenty of fae that are terrible at baking.”
“Oh no,” you groaned, shoving your face into your hands. “So it was terrible.”
Azriel shot into action, a momentary panic making his hands freeze along your back. “No. No, that is not what I said, y/n. Not at all. I was just saying that—”
“Oh, nice. Muffins.”
Cassian’s nonchalant tone sent even more panic down the Shadowsinger’s spine. Azirel shot up from his seat, jolting you up as he went, and slapped the muffin from his brother’s hand, the pastry just seconds from his mouth. Azriel hadn’t even heard him enter the sitting room.
Everything went silent as the muffin tumbled from Cassian’s hand and rolled and rolled until it collided with a wall. Azriel’s hand was still raised as Cassian blinked back at him. You stood frozen, baffled, and unsure of your next move.
“Azriel—” you began, but Cassian cut you off. “The hell was that for?” he accused, arm jutting back to the muffin still rocking on the floor. “I can’t eat a muffin in my own house?”
Azriel opened his mouth in reply but then closed it after a beat of silence. Cassian raised his brows and flung up both hands in a plea for a response.
Finally, Azriel formulated the words, “She is my mate. You can’t eat the food she makes.”
Cassian scoffed, a sentiment that was mirrored in the crossing of your arms. “I thought you’d be over all this by now.” Cassian gestured around his brother’s figure. “The possessiveness and being an asshole.”
“Yeah? Yeah, well… Well, I’m not,” Azriel affirmed. And to taunt Cassian more, he reached for another muffin and took a mighty bite.
You rolled your eyes. “This is dumb. I made a mess of the kitchen and I do not want to be part of whatever this is.”
Azriel held eye contact with Cassian as you fled the room, his gaze narrowed and his jaw unmoving. To his credit, all Cassian did was stare back with an almost amused expression. Until the door closed behind you and Azriel made a quick movement to the table, snatching up a napkin and removing every crumb of the muffin from his mouth.
He coughed a few times and balled the napkin up, his eyes watering as he greedily grabbed the tea you had brought with the plate. It took a few heavy gulps and a confused sound from Cassian before Azriel could explain.
“That was the worst muffin I have ever had. I couldn’t have you trying it and telling her that. Be grateful.”
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel shadowsinger#azriel drabble#azriel acotar#acotar fanfiction#azriel fluff#azriel fanfic#everyone is prob asleep but IM NOT
778 notes
·
View notes