#all those flavors of dump pot

[color-of-magic]

Sometimes I feel a bit bad that you will never get to eat some of your favorite foods again 

[evilminji]

Okay, so maybe it's just me? Projecting my new Tea Phase?

Cause for med reasons, no more energy drinks, only Teeeeeeaaaaa~☆

But honestly? Now that I am an adult and ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT? Really digging it! Am enjoying the Teas. Mmmmmmm~ leaf broth. I like the fruity ones.

So! IMAGINE~☆ If you will:

Danny. 14 and his parents are LOUD AS FUCK (CRASH BANG SMASH BANG WHIIII-) dispite it being, once again, a school night. This has been going one For Years. That STUPID fucking machine. All God damned hours. Crashes and bangs and powertools. Explosions.

When will it ever end!

He's... he's honestly used it.

Unknowingly? This is is a skill that will come in handy later. Living and functioning while sleep deprived. Healthy? Fuck no. But it's USEFUL. He IS the ten year old downing Monster drinks in the parking lot before school.

It makes him a jittery weirdo. Twitchy. Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, his parents either blew up or TOOK APART the washing machine AGAIN. He... he never stood a chance. It's a miracle the indoor plumbing hasn't been compromised yet... AGAIN.

His blood is more sugar, caffeine, and guarana or whatever those other things in the can are, then actual human blood. He doesn't CARE. He just needs too get decent grades, graduate, and become an astronaut. It's... it's FINE. This is normal. They're FINE.

(If they weren't... someone would have noticed, right? Would have DONE something. Cared. So it HAS to be fine. His family's just weird. It's FINE.)

But THEN...

The Accident.

And his biology CHANGES. Green goo, wrapped vicious and loving, around his very DNA. Like Kintsugi of the body and soul. In green, Green, GREEN. It... it's a lot. Everything changing all at once. Maybe that's why it takes him so long to notice.

Why he thinks "oh, I'm just tired cause I'm running more then usual. Fighting and flying. Doing ghost stuff."

When... when honestly? Some part of him always kinda KNEW. From the very moment he stumbled out of the portal. The aftershocks. The pain. Sam and Tucker crying, scrambling to help him up the stairs. Sam tearing her bag apart looking for her cramps medicine. Because... because pain medication is pain medication.

"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Please. Please god, just take it! I promise it's gonna be okay!"

How do you look your panicked, crying, strongest-person-you-know best friend in the eyes and tell her... you can FEEL it dissolving in your throat. Like the pills were dumped in a human shaped pot of acid. That... that the pain isn't changing... and you... you don't think it's going too.

When you're scared. Might be dying. And you can already tell they think it's their fault. W... when you're all just KIDS. And all you can think is... you can let them know how bad... how bad it hurts...

They'd never be able to live with that knowledge.

Yeah. Yeah, Sam. Thanks. T... The pills helped a lot. He feels better. You really saved the day. He lo... loves you guys so much.

...

.....

He thinks about that moment A LOT. About how much he realized and knew, before the denial kicked in. Before he got so... Tired. Fresh of all that energy. And? You'd think he realize. The mood swings. The irritability. The headaches that disappear the SECOND he goes ghost. That he's in caffeine withdrawal. But? Nope.

He kinda blames the constant ghost attacks for distracting him.

But see... Sam? Doesn't drink tea. Goes against her diet. Tucker was where he GOT his illicit borderline illegal energy drinks. And his sister? Big on flavored sparkling waters. Which are gross to him.

His PARENTS drink a thick tar they insist is coffee. It might be liquid fudge. Zone knows its nearly the same consistency. It's horrifying. No thanks, he wants to LIVE.

It's? Ironically? Mr. Lancer and his constant detentions, that help Danny realize somethings up. Because Mr. Lancer shares. If he makes a cup for himself, he'll make one for you. It's how he was raised. And, yeah, the after school detentions? Those were herbal blends. No caffeine.

But...

But they tasted nice. Were warm. The classroom was quiet and as frustrating as it was? The tea itself? Was always... the one exception to how shit the situation was. So Danny finally broke down and asked about it. Learned Mr. Lancer knew a? Surprisingly LOT about tea. Huh.

Then one day he gets SATURDAY detention. Oh joy!

Bright and early. One of the few times he could be trying, desperately, to be sleeping through his parents cacophony. Catching up on his desperately needed Zzz's. Here he is... getting a handed a new cup of different tea?

Breakfast blend? And a bagel..

N...none hostile breakfast? A quiet space to catch up on his homework? No Dash? Just... just a quiet classroom, some tea, and the sounds on a peaceful morning outside?

......oh.

It's the best time he's had in school in... God, in YEARS. He gets so MUCH done. For once can concentrate. And? Actually, now that he thinks about it? Feels... awake? Or at the very least, not as sleepy. And being a Fenton, whom to the LAST are a genius if eccentric family, it's pretty damn easy to put two and two together.

Tea.

He felt more awake after having Lancer's breakfast blend tea.

He obviously asks about it. Then, after detention is done. Calm packs up. Goes home. Drops his back in his room. Goes ghost. And SHOOTS for the Far Frozen with his phone and an energy drink. Because clearly he's missing something and it's time to ask.

The good doctors of the Frozen are... gently horrified. Clawed hands steeples infront of their mouths as they try to tactfully figure out how to word "Great One, WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why would you DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?" Because that... is not professional. Breathe. In, out, in, out. We can do this.

They get the most patient and restrained of their elders to... CALMLY, very VERY Calmly, ask some medical questions. Listen. Without judgements! Because they are medical professionals. Who do NOT want to scream, forever, into the void. Certainly not. So Calm! (They are going to BURN THAT CAN IN-)

Which! Huh. Yeah, that explains the constant exhaustion. He was poisoning himself. Kinda. Not so much the GHOST but the human half. Putting to much strain and too much trace chemicals, minerals, and buckets of sugar. General "mmmm :/ Don't Like THAT ™" energy from the Goo causing it too try and constantly burning it all out of existence. Endlessly.

The more he put in, the more there was to burn. The more there was to burn, the more tired he became. The more tired he became... well, the more he put in. It was a slowly lethal starvation cycle. Big Yikes.

The TEA on the other hand? Those are leaves. The good recognizes leaves and water. Other various plants, dried or otherwise. It ignores them as "fine" until they reach a "problematic" threshold, apparently? So... *blank look at the doctor*

*sighs in medical professional*

Tea? Good. Satan Can of Halfa Poison? Bad. Please drink tea.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

And it's like MAGIC. He's suddenly BACK, baby! Ha ha ha! Skulker you fuckin THOUGHT?! Oh it's 2am? Well SUPRISE bitch! He's bright eyed and bushy tailed! His grades are up AND he's beating you like a drum! He has ice breakers for old people discussions now!! The local Tea Shops have NEVER been so well protected.

He actually manages to graduate with not just decent grades? But GOOD ones.

And the second. The INSTANT. He is legally his own man? Has his important paperwork squirrelled away and the go bags safely WELL outside of Amity. It's time. He meets OUTSIDE the house, because he's not an idiot. He's been practicing his Clones and has them ready to grab his parents so he can get out of there alive. Jazz is on video call from Star city.

His parents... suspected. Not at first, but as goofy as they are? They aren't ACTUALLY idiots. They've been watching, going over old research. Trying, failing, to get in touch with the League to have THEIR team test their research. Peer review is critical after all. They... they had been so certain. Are still somewhat certain.

But their research doesn't exactly ACCOUNT for this "halfa" phenomenon. So, there is a very real chance they are missing something. The one thing the DO know? Danny is their son. Stuck in some eternal mortally wounded state or not, he is a hero. And they weren't there for him.

They can't change their beliefs on a dime. But they've clearly missed a great deal. And refuse to fall to academic bias. The very thing that got them LAUGHED AT for decades. Mocked and belittled. This is their life's work. By God they WILL find out the truth.

It's? Better then he could have hoped. Not perfect. But better.

He helps set up safeties and a security check point at the portal. Both sides. He's kinda a big deal these days, mom, dad. Ghost scientists eager to work with them. A whole TEAM under their command. It certain endears ghosts to them a whole lot more. Then?

Copy of the blue prints, go bag turned into normal bags, Danny's off to college.

Bounces from major to major. Nothing really capturing his interest. As he aged, he's need less sleep. Gotten stronger. Grown into his father's height and grandfathers build. Tucker keeps calling him a dorito. Danny retaliates with Ancient Egyptian Cyber/Pharoah Twink allegations. According to SAM they are both dumbasses.

She's not WRONG... but hey D:<

Eventually? A really niche botany seminar run by Pamela Isely catches the attention of Tucker, who forwards it to him n Sam. Nice ™. It's being held in her Murder Park! Cool! Obviously they have to go. So off to Gotham they go. And? When they get there? Sam is APPALLED.

She may HATE landlords as much as the next activist.... but LOOK at all these run down, foreclosed, rotting buildings! Beautiful gothic infrastructure! Those could be businesses or homes! Danny, busy with signing them up, makes the mistake of tuning her out as she rants in fury. She does this some times. Needs to vent. Uh huh, you're very right. You should contact somebody. I agree. Mmmhmmm.

Hey, Sam, Ms. Isely needs your-....

Sam?

Oh FUCK ™.

By the time the Seminar come around? Sam has violently kicked in the door of more then a feel reality offices. Owns QUITE a few buildings. Danny is sweating. She... she's doing the THING again. The "gimme your Ghost Crew, I KNOW you have a highly specific Ghost Crew, don't you DARE lie to me or I take your knee caps, Danny" stare.

>.> Sam you can't keep doin- *stare intensifies* Yes Ma'am. *Pulls out Fenton phone* and so? Here come the renovation crew. The ONLY honest building Crew in all of Gotham. They cut no corners. Can't be threatened. Gangs, villians, and even local government office try to arrange... accidents on the build sites.

Nothing. Nada. In fact, it turns out more dangerous for THEM then this crew of outsiders!

Wtf!

Then? After these two College age weirdos finish Poison Fuckin Ivys HIGHLY SUSPECT biology seminar? Manson fucks off to who knows where! Leaving what HAS to be "the muscle" behind. Cause I mean? Look, at the guy! He's huge! And what does he do?

Goes building to building. Rents them out to low income families. Honest, hard working shop keepers. And? Eventually decides to settle smack dab in the middle of Gotham, in the shadow of Wayne fuckin tower, spitting distance from the Space museum..... and open? A tea shop? The FUCK?

"The Zone".

In a weird shade of green. With little ghosts, wearing crowns, because and I quote "it's funny"? Certainly crazy enough for Gotham. But like, it's loud as FUCK here. Crowded. There are gas attacks and shit. It'll never las-....

It stays untouched for MONTHS.

Sometimes being the ONLY building near it to be untouched. Gas NEVER getting in. The damn place a BUNKER. And? Despite looking like it's two floors? It's three. You enter and your actually on the second floor. No one's even sure where the fuck the guy LIVES, since he never seems to leave.

Not only THAT. But it... it's like one of those old school apothecaries. Big ol bank of drawers. Guy'll mix up your blend for you right as you watch. Tea nuts are actually risking COMING to Gotham to try his stuff. Writing articles. Apparently he has some pretty rare shit in those drawers.

Some UNKNOWN shit, according to one guy on ViewTube.

There's this whole debate on if it's Ultra Super Rare or that means it's just super cheap knock off crap. Some of them he won't make for people, even if they ask. There's a rumor it's for Meta's with specific diets. Or alien blends. But no one can verify that. Cause like?

Anyone who tries to cause trouble?

Can't fucking FIND the place. And if you're already inside? You just... drop. Stone cold unconscious. It's definitely magic but no one knows if it's HIS or Manson's? You know? He won't talk. Gets annoyed when harrased.

Which off course!

Leaves Only ONE gentleman for the job. An elite special forces trained expert. Polite, dignified, enjoyer of fine Teas. Alfred "Why do you chucklefucks keep forgetting I was in the Queens Service and a Registered Badass" Pennyworth.

After all! He DOES have the days shopping to do.

@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes

[deadmomjokes]

I used to hate herbal tea. I drank it for medicinal purposes, but it was a chore. But then I learned The Secret, the one that makes herbal tea not only palatable, but enjoyable. Tasty. Delightful, even. I will tell it to you now:

Herbal tea is not tea.

Duh, you say, but let me explain further.

Herbal tea is not tea, and it will suck if you treat it like tea.

Actual tea, as in the tea plant Camellia sinensis, has very specific steep times and temperatures. This varies by variety (green vs black vs white), but it all comes down to a common factor:

Tea is high in tannins.

Tannins make stuff bitter. Tannins are released from the tea if you heat it too high or too long (again, specifics depend on variety but the point stands). If you steep it too long, BOOM, tannins. You put it in water that is still boiling or hasn’t cooled down enough from boiling? TANNINS. You get nasty, bitter, burnt-grass-tasting tea.

Herbal tea almost universally doesn’t have tannins. This means you almost universally can’t over-steep herbal tea. And in fact, and listen up because this is the practical part of the secret, you need to steep it way longer than actual tea if you want to get the flavors into the water!

Those recommended steep times on your herbal tea box are based off actual tea (black tea to be specific). It’s usually somewhere around 5-7 minutes, but what you actually need is something like 10-15 minutes.

And most conventional tea-making wisdom will tell you to not put the water in too soon after boiling, but again, that’s for tannin-rich Camellia sinensis. You could literally boil* your herbal tea if you wanted. It might make it slightly less sweet depending on variety, and you will probably bust your tea bag doing so, but my point is that you should put as hot of water as you can get into your steeping vessel. As in kettle starts whistling, pour it in immediately over the tea bag. Then let it sit for 10-15 minutes as discussed above.

The only exceptions that I know of personally are meadowsweet, red raspberry leaf, and yarrow, and only one of those is a very common herbal tea ingredient. And honestly, it’s not even high enough in tannins to affect your whole cup if it’s just part of a blend.

So please stop drinking weak plant-adjacent water and start getting the actual flavors you paid for.

*I have actually just dumped herbs in a pot and boiled them and it made a delicious tea. I used lavender, chamomile, lemon balm, and mint, all of which I’d grown myself, and literally just tossed the fresh-picked sprigs into a pot and boiled the crap out of it for close to 10 minutes because I forgot about it while I was rearranging the freezer. It was delicious and not bitter at all despite being a color I can only describe as “positively murky,” and I could taste every single one of the herbs I put in there. It also made my whole apartment smell like a sunny meadow. Do with this information what you will. Am I recommending you boil the devil out of your herbal tea bags? Not necessarily. But I’m also not not recommending it.

[dduane]

That paprikahendl recipe

So the first thing to be said is possibly the most important: this is a paprikahendl recipe. (And in this case, it was made with duck, because we were out of chicken... so it's probably paprikaentl, if anything.) :)

Everybody's mom or grandmother would've had her own version of this, which would naturally be the best one in the mind of the person you were talking to. The original dish, though—as @petermorwood has pointed out—would have been a peasant dish of the use-a-moderate-amount-of-flavorful-and-spicy-meat-to-season-a-lot-of-noodles-or-whatever kind. If you're a peasant, after all (and maybe even if you're not, of late...), meat is expensive, so in dishes of this kind it's used as more of a seasoning for what you have plenty of—in this case, the tiny flour-based noodles-or-dumplings called spaetzle. (In its rural beginnings, of course, the meat probably would've been a laying chicken that was too old to lay any more... or even a cockerel that had started shooting blanks, and whose morning racket was starting to get on your nerves.)

Later, though, a small tender chicken (or two) was seen as preferable. Paprikahendl became very popular in Hungary and other parts of central Europe, and in the process—over time—got taken somewhat upmarket. The recipe I used as my basis for this version is one that apparently was (and who knows, maybe still is) served at one of Vienna's famous Sacher establishments. As a result it contains elements I'm none too sure about—such as the last-minute apple—but otherwise seems to me to hold water.

The full recipe is here. Now let me tell you what I did to with it.

(inserting a cut here, so those who don't want to watch a bunch of video clips of things frying and cooking won't have to...)

Normally in the initial stage of this recipe, you'd cut up a whole small chicken (or two) into pieces, color them in your preferred frying fat (in Hungary, possibly lard, but at very least butter) and then set them aside to make the sauce. In this case, since the meat I had to work with was duck, I cooked that as directed and put it aside while we went off to do some other stuff. I also made spaetzle to go on the side, as it's the kind of thing you'd be likely to run into regionally. These we can fortunately buy ready-made, like most other kinds of pasta. Or you can make them from scratch. Since I now have a Magic Spaetzle Machine to do this, I'll show how that's done some other time. (Or you could look at this video...)

Then, to make the sauce, I pulled together:

The zest and juice of a lemon

Half an onion or more, chopped fine (I have to be careful with onions, as too much will set off my IBS)

Off to one side, I asked Peter to do the dry paprika mix for me. This was two very heaping tablespoons of paprika, and about half a teaspoon of cayenne, to mock up the heat of the hotter paprika that would have been used in small villages in the Carpathians.

Then I clarified some butter in the microwave, about three tablespoons of it (you melt it in a tall glass and set this aside until the milk solids settle out, then pour off the clarified butterfat) and dumped that in the big cookpot along with the onions.

When those had hit the cooked-until-translucent point, I cut the duck up into chunks and got them ready to go in: then added the paprika and (when that had fried a little) the lemon juice. (Paprika can taste a little raw in a sauce if you don't fry it a bit first.)

Then in went 125 ml of rose wine (I'd have used white if I'd had any, but whatever...) and about 500 ml of chicken stock, and everything got stirred very well together.

After that, the duck got chucked in and the pot was covered and left to simmer for 45 minutes or so. Normally this would be the time a raw chicken would need to cook, and naturally the duck was well cooked already: but it seemed to me that another 45 minutes getting even more tender couldn't hurt it.

So that was what happened. At the end of 45 minutes, the duck was removed and set aside while I got busy with finishing the sauce. You lower the temperature in the big pot until the pre-sauce liquid is just barely simmering. Then to thicken it, you use about a cup of the thickest sour cream you can lay your hands on, with a third of a cup of flour beaten into it very well with a fork. At which point you should be able to do this with the fork:

Now you find a big balloon whisk and start whisking this mixture into the pre-sauce, sort of a tablespoon or two at a time...making sure each dose of sour cream + flour is very well beaten in, leaving no lumps, before adding the rest. When it's all in there, you very gently raise the heat, stirring or whisking occasionally, until the sauce starts to thicken. Then add the meat back in and let it warm through in there for a little while longer: ten or fifteen minutes should do it.

Assuming that people are ready to eat, you heat the spaetzle (and toss it with some butter), plate it up, and add the paprikahendl on top. And dig in.

...Anyway, that was my take. If you go googling for "paprikahendl", you will find many, many more recipes: some far less complex than this approach, some far more so. Pick one that suits you and see what you make of it. This one worked really well, though: so you might like to take a shot at it.

If you do: enjoy!

[blacksapphrodite]

🍅 Tomato Magic for Love and Prosperity ❤️

Like most everything I cook, this sauce gets the magic treatment. It makes adding magic to other meals I cook during the week a breeze! I always make this in the slow cooker on a weekend when I can babysit it. Sauces like this should be cooked low and slow, and it’s less likely to burn in a crock-pot. It can, of course, be cooked on the stove as well, but it requires a lot more monitoring. Whatever you use, treat this sauce like it’s your baby, and it’ll come out amazing. 

With the main ingredient in this sauce being, well, tomatoes, it lends itself very well to love and prosperity magic. Tomatoes are considered an aphrodisiac and are tied to Lady Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty.🩷 They’re also known to dispel negativity and bring wealth to the home. So this would be a good recipe to help inspire a happy marital home, or to serve on a date night, or bring about love or wealth in general! I like to think of it as a spell for a loving and prosperous home.💕 I use cans of crushed tomatoes, but you can use fresh as well if you have some nice ripes ones. My last attempt at fresh didn’t end well, but I’ll try it again soon and let you all know how it goes! Now let’s get to the actual recipe. 

Ingredients

2 large cans of crushed Tomatoes (prosperity, passion, love)

Garlic, minced and/or roasted* (love, purity, banishing negativity)

Water or Broth (about a can’s worth)

1 small can of tomato paste (guard against negativity) 

1 medium Onion, minced (endurance, stability, banishing negativity)

A couple glugs of olive oil 

A glug of red wine

Half of a roasted, skinned and pureed red bell pepper (optional, but so good!)*

Bay leaf (love, passion, harmony)

Basil (wealth,love, faithfulness)

Oregano (ward against negative energy, happiness, peaceful energy)

Thyme (positivity, prosperity)

Parsley (happiness, passion, protection)

Sage (prosperity, mental clarity) 

Rosemary (beauty, love, general magical boost)

Marjoram (happiness, love, money)

Sea Salt (purity, protection)

Pepper (passion)

Crushed red pepper (passion, a spell booster)

You can go about making this sauce two different ways. In one version, you just toss everything into the pot, give it a good couple of clockwise stirs, turn the heat to low and let it cook all day long. This, of course, still tastes amazing and it’s incredibly easy. You can draw some sigils on the pot or crock-pot in dry erase marker for an extra boost to your spell, too! 

The second method is also easy, but takes a bit more time and mess. In this version, you’ll want to saute your onions and garlic in some of the olive oil. Then, add the tomato paste with some water and cook that down. Add your wine and cook it down some more. If you’re using the roasted bell pepper, add that to this mixture too. Dump this amazing smelling concoction into your crock pot with the tomatoes and other ingredients and then let it cook all day. You’ll have an extra pan to wash, but even more depth of flavor! 

Say your intent and affirmations every time you check on the sauce to stir. If you have a red and/or gold or green pillar candles or tea lights, light those as well and place them in the kitchen. As you add and adjust your herbs and spices, continue to charge with your intent. At the end of the day, serve over some steaming pasta with parmesan cheese (or a good vegan substitute!), and enjoy!

I always make extra to save and use throughout the week in other dishes that could use a love or money boost. Plus it tastes amazing. So make a night of it, and enjoy! 

*I use. A lot of garlic. You could use as much as a whole head, but I usually use about half of one. If you have the patience to roast it, do so. It’s sooooo good. To roast, peel off some of the outer skin of the head, cut off the top, coat it in olive oil and roast it at around 350 degrees for an hour. You can just squeeze out that garlicky goodness. 

*To roast a red bell pepper, coat it in oil, broil it until the skin blackens. Place it in a paper or plastic bag and close it so the steam continues to cook it and loosen the skin. Once it’s cool, peel the skin off! You can then chop or puree it for your sauce. 

Keep in mind that you can alter the purpose of this spell with your intent, using different herbs, etc. This is a base recipe and you can tailor it to your needs. :)

(I'm cleaning up my blog and reposting some of my spells/etc that were once hosted on my website.💕)

[psychoticallytrans]

The best thing I've ever gotten for my ability to eat vegetables on a regular basis is a blender. I have texture issues with squash, but in the blender? Delicious squash soup. Forget some carrots in the back of the fridge and they are no longer crisp? Add some onions, celery and beans, wait until it's soft, and into the blender they go. Just not up to chopping veg much today? Into the pot with only trim cuts because after it boils soft it's going in the blender. Blender my beloved.

Tips for anyone who wants to do this: -have at least one "thickening" vegetable, but be careful how much you add. "thickening" vegetables give the soup body. They include all kinds of squash and starchy root vegetable. You want a soup thick enough to satisfy your hunger, but not so thick it breaks your blender.

-vinegar is your friend. So is salt. Other seasonings are awesome but those are the base ones that you Require in order to have a good soup experience.

-do Not leave in woody herbs like rosemary stems and bay leaves. They don't go blendable-soft. Oregano, parsley, etc are fair game though, as are the rosemary leaves.

-be aware that some vegetables are very sweet. beets, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, and onions all have a lot of sugar in them. This means that unless you want a sweet soup, you'll need to add salt, acid, and savory to balance it. Spicy can also help to balance sweet.

-hearty greens like kale and collards blend up really well after being boiled soft, but be aware that the color of the soup is a somewhat unappealing grey-green-brown. Delicious though, so I prefer to dump it in a mug and just not look at it while I enjoy the flavor.

-Have not tried using mushrooms but I doubt that it would go well, due to their textural quirks. I also have not tried blending meat in because I doubt that would go well texturally either.

-Add butter, nut butter, or oil if you're not going to eat it with another source of fat. Fat ups the Satisfaction of the soup.

Go forth and Soup.

[bugbyte]

Recent discoveries from the land of Bug lives with a chronic illness and is tired all the time:

This is probably obvious to everyone but holy shit, crock pot. I used to use this thing mostly for a few very specific recipes because I feel like there’s something about the cooking method where things can tend to lose flavor or texture (might just be a me thing) but lately it’s been a lifesaver when I am hurting and exhausted, which has been a lot.

I’m trying to cut back on premade or processed stuff where I can because I don’t think it’s good for me personally or for our budget. (No judgement from me if that’s what’s easiest for you, we all gotta eat somehow.) Cooking has become a mega effort for me when I’m having a flare up and it’s been tough. I used to do all the cooking for us because I genuinely love to do it, but it’s gotten so hard for me recently and I’m trying new methods.

More chatter and recipes under the break~

This is all kind of a medium effort (unless you have someone to help, which I am lucky to have) so it might not work for everyone, because the ceramic piece of the cooker is kind of heavy to get out and clean if you’re prone to dropping things (I am) but it can go in the dishwasher. Also chopping things can be a pain; I have a little chopping thing that helps when I’m cooking alone, it looks like this:

Anyway, if you can get past those hurdles via tools or help or buying pre-chopped veggies, you’re halfway there. You can also prep veg when you’re having a good day and freeze it so you have it ready on a bad day.

Here are a few of my favorite recipes, all are kinda chicken-based and the method is basically the same but you can probably substitute another protein, this just works for my budget and dietary needs. The only thing I might not use is ground meat; something funny can happen with the texture of it, I think because you’re not necessarily stirring all the time. It can cook kinda weird if you’re not attentive, and we’re going for as hands off as possible here.

Today we chopped up a bunch of veggies and dumped them in with chicken breast, a bunch of seasoning (curry, garam masala, garlic, ginger, a little Trader Joe’s sriracha seasoning for a little heat, I mean, I don’t think you can really add too many spices here?? Add and measure with your heart, as they say), and a jar of tikka masala sauce. Then we just have to make rice later and it’s all set. 4-6 hours on high, 6-8 on low seems to be the standard and works for basically everything I’ve tried so far. Yeah, it’s kind of premade with the jar sauce, but having something hot with real veggies and chicken when you’re not feeling good is a real morale boost at the end of the day. Plus, a ton of leftovers.

Another easy one I love is chopping up an onion and a bell pepper or two, pour in either a jar of tomato pasta sauce or a big can of crushed tomatoes + whatever garlic/basil/etc seasonings you like, and throw a couple of chicken breasts on top with some seasoning on those too. Same timing as above. By the end the chicken just shreds apart by pinching it with tongs really easily (I have hand grip issues and I can do it) so shred that and stir it all together. This stuff is great on pasta, probably also would be an amazing sandwich on a bun with some mozzarella?? Last time we used a can of tomatoes so there was a ton of extra liquid and I just dumped in a package of farfalle at the end of cooking (or 30 minutes to the end, ish) and mixed it well, gave it 30 minutes to soak up the sauce, and it was really tasty. You really only have to pay attention at the end to make sure the pasta is the way you want it, not over or under done.

Lastly, tacos. Chicken, in whatever quantity you want. We are 2 people and 2 breasts is enough for a bunch of tacos and leftovers for lunch the next day. Add a little olive oil (just a dash to help stuff stick) and half a packet of any taco seasoning you like (save the rest for the end). Mix in one of those little cans of chopped green chilies plus about one tiny can of water or chicken broth if you’re feeling fancy. Cook either high or low (as above) but I find low on 6-8 hours actually does come out better on this one. When it’s done, shred the chicken like the tomato recipe. It should just fall apart with very little effort. Then add in the rest of the seasoning packet and mix; it helps thicken any liquid into sauce. If you still end up with too much liquid somehow, just scoop some out with a ladle. Then just put it on tortillas with whatever taco stuff you like. This one also works pretty well with a big chunk of pork, like pork shoulder. You may need some extra seasoning and stuff because it’s bigger, and I would also add some garlic to the pork version for better flavor. If you have the energy or assistance this stuff is also great shredded up and thrown under a broiler for a couple minutes for crispy edges, but that’s totally optional. Still tasty without it.

Anyway, just thought I’d share some of the easy stuff I’ve come across and liked because I love cooking and I hate how much trouble I’ve had making good food without running myself to exhaustion since I started having health problems. It’s a learning curve for sure.

[cryptidsofwakemoor]

Chapter 3 - The Bird Feeder

While exploring the woods, Matchstick happens upon a place full of strange tubes containing food and water! However, this place has a strange owner that certainly isn't like any human he's ever seen... Will he be able to sate his hunger while avoiding detection?

~*~

Mystic

Walking alongside the road, the trees and shrubbery afford some protection from sight, allowing him temporary shelter whenever a car or a person passes by. The dappled sunlight speckles the jungle-y forest floor, and he has to take care to avoid the spots. Thankfully, there's plenty of shade.

No doubt he looked like a sasquatch, lurching through the woods.

All the buildings look the same, with only minor variations to each block, for a good long while. Then, they start to shift. The concrete and large glass panes start giving way to wood, stucco, and cloth curtains and blinds. Spaces in front of the buildings became filled with short grass, potted plants, flowers, and strange little houses built on standing poles or stapled to buildings.

Oh- there was one in front of him, actually! A few of those odd tiny homes were nailed to the sides of trees, painted with bright colors and with small holes drilled where windows and doors would be. A loud chirping emanated from inside the one closest to him, and a small fluffy thing hopped out one of the holes. Hopping back and forth, it turned its head side to side, then it fluttered wings and took off in a burst of flight.

There were also- colorful tubes, hanging from the trees? They were filled with multicolored... sand? And pebbles? One had some kind of liquid.

One of the fluffy flying things lands on the edge of one of those tubes, dipping its pointy face into a hole and pulling out some of the pebbles. It cracks them open, eats something inside, and then flutters off as he draws near.

Spooky

The sudden movements of the small creature were interesting to watch, but it had the added bonus of showing him that what he thought was sand was actually... some kinda food!

The buildings he could recognize as belonging to people, but these smaller ones with the holes in them, he had no idea. They weren’t near the buildings. Were they part of the trees?

Regardless, he grabbed the strange tube and tilted it, dumping some of the 'sand' (he had no other idea what to call it) out of the holes and into his hand. He dumped it into his mouth, and they popped and crunched interestingly as he chewed. Not much of a flavor, though... Kinda bland, but not as bad as the gross waxy, ashy thing he'd tried earlier. At least it didn't get stuck against his teeth.

The pebbles were also very crunchy, but the insides of them were actually kind of chewy and tasty! Not bad, the hard and sharp shell kinda sucked but the rest was good. Probably his favorite so far.

The liquid one... He wasn't sure about. It looked a lot like it was just water, though he didn't remember water having a sweet smell to it. He wasn't sure he wanted to give it a try, but his mouth did feel kind of dried out, especially after the sand and pebbles... How were you supposed to get to this, though? There were a bunch of little shapes around the base of it... Curiously, he tried tilting it to the side like he did with the sand. Sure enough, some of the water spilled out of the plastic flower shapes around the bottom, running over his hand and trailing down towards his elbow. He let go, making a face. Eugh, he didn't like it running over his skin like that... Licking it off the back of his hand, his eyes widened when he realized it actually did taste kinda sweet! Like, really sweet, actually.

He plucked it off the hook and did his best to tilt the rest of the sweet water into his mouth. Some of it evaporated into steam right away, but what amount of it didn't actually felt like somewhat of a relief as it slid down his throat. Man, if only this thing wasn't so awkward to drink out of... Damn it, he could tell he'd spilled some of it down his front. He did his best to put it back, though it was kind of at an awkward angle now, and wiped at his face with the back of his arm. Probably tasted the best out of all three, but was definitely the messiest and left him feeling unpleasant and sticky.

Mystic

Hmm. He probably needed to wash himself off. Preferably not with the chemical sprays the scientists used back at the lab... not that he knew where to even find those. Nor wanted to.

A quick glance around gave him some more information.

The strange tiny houses and cylinder things hanging from the trees weren't just here- they were across the black stone path, too. The building was a painted white wooden structure, with a large extended porch that met two doors, and had at least two floors from where he was standing. Patches of bright colored flowers and grasses surrounded by rings of stone sat neatly in front of this building, clearly tended to by somebody. A large pool of water was underneath a short tree laden with bright orange spheres on the leafy branches.

The hanging food containers were scattered about that lawn, as well. On the tree, on hanging hooks, on the porch.

Spooky

The wheels in his head turned as he looked at the building, not sure if he should approach. He couldn't tell if anyone was in there or not, but... That water didn't seem too deep. Maybe it would be safe to try and wash off there, though he didn't really like the thought of it. The only times he'd been doused in water before had all been very intentionally unpleasant, or in most cases, absolutely terrifying.

Still, there was more food over there too, and despite having emptied the ones on this side of the stone path, it hadn't really felt like enough.

...He'd try it, but was prepared to flee if need be.

Wanting to put off having to deal with the water, the first thing he went for was another sand tube, though this time they stuck to his hand. Ugh... He tried to lick them off of his palm but that was easier said than done. Fine... He'd wash his damn hands.

Reluctantly, he went over to the water and crouched next to it, squinting down at it distrustfully. When the water level didn't start suddenly rising to drown him, though, he dipped his fingers in- pulled them back, not expecting it to be cold- and then finally dunked both hands in to get it over with, scrubbing the stickiness from them. He then backed off entirely, having hit his limit on amount of contact with water he was willing to put up with today. He stood there with his arms out, dripping, before clenching his eyes and jaw and using the remaining wetness on his hands to try and wipe the stickiness from the corners of his mouth. Kinda worked, but he still hated it, and promptly shook himself off to try and rid himself of the sensation. He wasn't even going to deal with whatever sweet water had dried on his chest or stomach, washing his hands and face had been bad enough.

Guh... damn it, now his hands were all shaky. At least there was another tube with those pebbles to help take his mind off it. He walked over and dumped some into his hand, crunching on that while tipping it again for more.

Mystic

It takes some doing, with occasional glances left and right to ensure there was nobody around, but eventually he manages to empty every single food cylinder in the yard. He has to take greater care not to spill on himself with the other sweet water cylinders- he didn’t want to dunk his hands again. Being sticky and cold sucked.

tHD

Augh-! Something just bonked him on the head!

The sound of an object rolling in the grass drew his eyes to it. One of the round orange things from the tree. There were many others like it on the ground at the roots, likely also fallen from the branches.

…hmm… could these also be food?

clk-clik k-chk

Behind him, the door in the building was making a faint rattling sound.

Spooky

He had just picked up the orange thing to inspect it, empty cylinder in his other hand, when the door behind him started making noise. By the time he noticed said noise, though, he only had enough time to turn and look at it before it opened.

Startled, he dropped the empty cylinder and scrambled for cover, hoping whoever was coming out didn't get a good look at him.

Mystic

His dirty, damaged charcoal form just manages to slip behind the trunk of the tree as whoever was inside that building fully opens the door. He can’t see who or what they are, taut and tense behind the tree, but he can hear the creak of footsteps on the wooden porch.

They’re humming a tune, like the guy in the rich-smelling building with the hot food.

…It stops.

“…huh.” The person hums in thought, and he can hear a plastic clunk as one of the cylinders is rotated on its hook. “Birds went crazy last night… or squirrels, again.”

Rustling sounds. Another metal tin noise, and plastic crinkling. Then- a sound like sand pouring. Were they refilling the food cylinders?

The creaking wood becomes crunching leaves and brushing grass. They were getting closer.

A scaly teal-blue hand, with webbed fingers, faintly pointed nails like tiny claws, and a dusting of silver among the blue, comes into view near the side of the tree.

Shit-!

The hand picks up one of the orange spheres, and disappears from his peripheral vision.

…there’s a soft leathery sound of something tearing, followed by munching.

“Mm! Oranges finally in season~” the voice sang, gleeful. He could detect a faint feminine pitch to it.

The munching continues as the footsteps move away from the tree. He has to hold completely stock still to avoid being seen. The figure walks into view as they go away from the tree and toward the black stone path.

…He’d seen some weird folk, and all things considered, this was not the weirdest, but it was certainly strange. The odd blue skin with scale coating covered the entire body- save for the parts in clothing. Their feet were large webbed flippers, with sandals tucked around the ends of the toes and the sole. Fins cupped the sides of the head, where the hair appeared to be made of- plants?

They didn’t notice him. They were headed away from the building, towards a boxy blue thing on the path.

Spooky

He stood there with one hand gripping the sphere- 'orange'?- he'd picked up, and the other firmly clamped over his mouth to avoid making a sound. The fact the stranger had gotten so close didn't help the tension any, and his back was starting to sting from pressing against the tree.

He finally dared to breathe again once the person had started walking away, but he still knew he wouldn't be able to run for it without making any noise. As they went past, he scootched around as carefully as he could to the other side of the trunk, anxiously peeking out from behind to try and see what they were doing.

Mystic

The person keeps walking, not noticing as he peeks around the tree- thankfully, not even his glowing eyes were standing out enough to give him away during the daytime.

They get into the blue box, opening a door on the side and ducking into the inner chamber. The door shuts, and the box makes a rumbling sound as it comes to life. The blue ‘truck’ moves out of the small concrete path onto the black path, and putts away out of sight.

…He’s alone, again.

At his feet by the tree roots is a strange orange skin, curly and deflated looking. It smelled really fresh and sweet. Did it come off of the orange sphere?

And- all those cylinders in the yard were indeed full again.

Whoever that was, they kept up a constant supply of this strange outdoor sand food.

Spooky

He looked at the scraps of orange and yellow material on the ground, then at the sphere. Were you supposed to take the outside of it off? How, though? It was pretty smooth, albeit sorta bumpy too. He didn't really have any claws like that person did, so he instead used his teeth to cut into it, though it was awfully sour and made his face scrunch up. Yuck!! What was that taste?? He spat out the now partially cooked strip of orange skin he'd managed to pull off the sphere and stuck out his tongue, wishing he could get the rest of the taste off of it.

Still, looking at the sphere again, it seemed there was indeed some kind of softer food of some kind inside it. He used his hands to peel off the rest of the skin, because like hell he was going to put that shit in his mouth again, and was left with some kind of soft, segmented orb. Actually, it split super easily along the segments too, and he was able to pull a piece off of it, which he cautiously tried.

It was still a bit tart, but not godawful sour like the skin was- instead it was kind of sweet and tangy, and juice came out when he chewed on it. Huh. Not bad! He tossed the rest of the orb into his mouth.

Unlike the sand, he'd probably be able to carry a few of these back to his hiding spot. And maybe some of the pebbles too. Keeping an eye on the black path just in case that blue truck came back, he reached up and pulled a few more of those orange spheres off the branches, tucking them in the crook of his arm, and tipping some more of those crunchy pebbles into his hand for later before fleeing back into the woods.

What a score! He'd have to remember how to get back there. It seemed like a pretty good food supply, and with only one person around to guard it!

~*~

Previous | Chapter Index | Next

[puppyguppy]

It's nice.

It's nice. One of your favorite kinds of nights.

You're sitting next your partner, their presence warm and familiar. Comfortable in that way that obviously oozes the bond of a family, of a future, despite the lack of rings. You don't need some small circles of metal, though. Everyone that needs to know already knows.

'Til Death came easy for you two.

Came naturally.

A slow but steady burn, even though you might never actually say those words. Or any others associated with them, like I do.

It's perfectly fine like that.

And you know your partner feels just the same, because it's been communicated, constantly. Friends and family ask how you make it work; how your romance can seem so strong yet so effortless. It always makes you laugh, because all it is is effort. But it's worth it.

For nights like this.

Your partner grinning and laughing into their drink, glass held with one hand since the other rests in your lap, over your thigh. It's warm, it's weighty, it's love. And across the table from you sits Shouta, who you'd managed to coax out with the promise of paid-for espresso martinis. He looks barely awake, barely amused; fingers fiddling with the neck of his martini glass as he listens to your partner.

All the while his boot rubs gently up and down your leg underneath the table.

It's nice.

One of your favorite kinds of nights.

Because you're selfish.

But you're also dedicated. Determined to make this work. Its just some of that effort everyone doubts exists in your relationship. But, what you have with your partner is a simmer. Something that only gets better with time. Thicker, tastier, once all the ingredients are marinated long enough. What you have with your partner is on the way to perfection.

But Shouta --

He's one of the ingredients.

A secret ingredient.

He's salt and pepper. He's smoked, sundried, charred. He's a little sweet, a little dark, like throwing chili in with cocoa powder. He's the sticky part on the side of the saucepan when it needs to be stirred; almost a burn in comparison to a broil. He's necessary.

Without him, your relationship would fall apart.

You get sick of eating the same thing over and over again. Eventually, it gets bland. Not that it's your partner's fault -- the ebbing flavor. That's why you haven't left them. They don't deserve that; not when you've got yourself a gorgeous little seasoning packet in your pocket.

There's an amicable lull in the conversation.

Your partner squeezes your thigh, so you smile at them. Tilt your head a little and tap their hand with your own. In that same moment, the toe of Shouta's boot tucks into the crook behind your knee, and the pressure threatens to pull you closer. It's just a tease, though --

"So," he starts, voice a just loud enough drawl over the volume of the restaurant. He lifts his drink up to his mouth and takes a sip, then takes a moment more to lick his lips. When he continues, it's like he's talking to the glass

"Still haven't figured it out, have you?"

Your blood runs cold in a blink. Like ice dumped into a hot pot, you feel your soul sucked out like grease. You force yourself to remain calm, though. There's no reason to jump to conclusions. No reason for him to suddenly spill the beans and cause a scene --

"Figured what out?" Your partner asks, still laughing, still smiling, curious and oblivious.

Shouta leans back into his seat and spreads out. Lounges. Like he owns the place, and the people in it. And maybe he does, maybe he does -- he smirks and raises his glass, not as a toast, but as punctuation to a point. Your heart hammers in your chest, and you wonder if your partner can feel your pulse through your thigh, fingers so close to your femoral artery.

"That the 'y' in 'yours' is silent."

[golby-moon]

threw a mermaid!cas art piece into the pot that is the @reversefantasyspnbang and like magic a mermaid!cas fic appeared :00

here's the banner I made for this, (yes another) desk with stuff on it. idk why I draw so many desks as banners either. but yeah this one is pirate flavored and has a spyglass and compass on it as well as a phoenix feather and fancy pendant thing that was inspired by the one from Disney's 'Moana' with a spn-themed pentagram thrown on there, though the pendant kinda looks like a Tamagotchi and I can't get that image out of my brain. the fish in the drawer was supposed to be a placeholder for something else in the original sketch but it was silly so it stayed 🎉

the title is on a pirate map that's supposed to tell its own story or whatever. the dashed line explores all around the area with various scribbled-out x's marking various spots as well as a whirlpool type deathtrap around what would be the 'a' in 'dead'. the only un-scribbled 'x' is on a tiny island called Mermaid Rock (the thing around the giant tail-shaped 't' in 'tails'), but since the pirates go out of their way to avoid that area (as seen in the dashed line where they get sucked into the whirlpool instead) due to superstitions about mermaids being bad luck, they don't know whether there's actually anything there or not and therefore can't eliminate it

this was the original art piece I submitted, featuring Dean holding up Cas, who's tangled up in a net. looking at it now I can see that angle of the boat is...weird (especially that ladder staircase thing) but ehh. I spent a ton of time planning Dean's outfit to be a somewhat historically accurate pirate but didn't realize Cas would be covering the neat jacket and sword holster thing I gave him and everything uh

the goal with this was to have Dean not the pirate captain for once in a pirate Dean/mermaid Cas fic (which I like reading but doubt I can write, hence why I dumped it on somebody else via reverse bang I mean what). I wanted Cas to look like he came from deep within the ocean, so his eyes are slitted to take in more light (think of cats) and his skin is more of a grey to better blend in. ofc Cas can't resist checking out the human world and ended up getting caught in a net but luckily Dean was there to pull him out...only to get in trouble for it. this was the original art idea and I really like the way the author adapted it and made Dean more of a reluctant pirate and Cas even more in love with 'humanity'

I do not like drawing bunk beds. or furniture. but it at least looks like a bed so that's okay. but yeah Dean's singing to Cas here and is kinda embarrassed about it, hence why he's looking away, but Cas can't actually tell what he's saying either way so Dean's just being Paranoid. the marks on Cas are scars from the net, a reference to what actually happens to irl sea creatures who get tangled in nets, if they live at all. those lines are supposed to be ribs to indicate that Cas is pretty thin due to a lack of food (probably due to humans overfishing) but they kinda look like he had top surgery. which...ignore that that's unintentional or I would've made them that same pinkish color as his other scars. also ignore the nipple freckle I had to include it okay

water is really weird sorry it looks so weird. but here's Dean and Cas preparing for some boat kisses because they're Them. I really like how the boat and especially the words on the boat (Riverside Blue, a reference to Led Zeppelin's 'Traveling Riverside Blues,' one of Dean's favorite songs added as per the author's suggestion) came out. the boat was supposed to be blue with the characteristic white underside all boats seem to have but then it was just...too blue and what goes better with blue than green 🤡

there was an idea thing going around where the crew on the pirate ship weren't allowed to wear colors, hence why both of Dean's outfits in the other two pics are so drab (the dull backgrounds don't help). so in this final piece where they're off the ship, I wanted to make it as colorful as possible with that orange sky and brightly colored boat and then Dean's colorful outfit with his shirt being somewhere between blue and green. yay contrast

man I didn't mean to ramble so much sorry about that. just put a lot of thought into these even though it might not look like it

the fic this is made for is called "Dead men tell no tails" by @quicksilver-castiel for the spn reverse fantasy bang

(02/17/24)

[theahole]

How I make chocolate oatmeal

This recipe makes enough oatmeal to keep me going until lunch, or two smaller servings if you don't have my appetite. It can also be halved (half a tablespoon is 1 and 1/2 teaspoons).

What you need:

2 quart saucepan (this stuff bubbles up high and fast, and you don't want it on your stove OR your skin) stirring spoon or spoonula 1 cup dry measuring cup 1 wet measuring cup measuring spoons bowl eating spoon butter knife stove top burner

You can use a metal or silicon or wood spoon to stir this. I use this spoon/spatula I stole when I moved because I was the only person using it anyway. Do NOT use one of those cheap plastic mixing spoons they sell in bags of 4 at Dollar Tree, because this is what will happen:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon brown sugar, no need to pack it--I use light and dark interchangeably, whatever you got 1 cup cold water 1 cup quick oats 1 tablespoon cocoa powder scant 1/4 teaspoon salt (I forgot to put it in the shot, but it's hiding behind the coffee pot) 1 pat butter (not shown) toppings (optional, up to you)

You are going to want to remember the salt, the oatmeal will be bland without it.

Pour the water into your pot and put the pot on the burner you'll use. Once you get this down to a science, you can start the water boiling and get everything ready before it does, but on a first try you'd better measure everything first and then wait the two or so minutes it takes a cup of water to boil.

I always measure the brown sugar into the bottom of the bowl I will be eating out of first, because I'd rather get sugar in the cocoa than cocoa in the sugar. But do what you want.

Measure 1 cup of oats (I used to scoop and sweep this, but it's easier to just dip the cup in the oats, and accuracy is not a big deal here), and add 1 tablespoon of cocoa. You can mix these in a separate bowl if you want, but I always do this:

Dump the cocoa on top of the oats in the measuring cup.

Which can get messy if you're not careful, but is, once again, easy and fast. The less time I spend on my feet, the better.

Start the water boiling on high, and when it starts to boil, add the salt. Once the boil really gets going, reduce the heat (in my experience it's the 4 or 3 on an electric stove and the lowest setting you can fucking get on a gas stove), and pour in the oats and cocoa. Start stirring IMMEDIATELY! You need to stir constantly so that the mixture all gets wet, cooks evenly, and doesn't stick or burn to the bottom of the pan. Once the mixture thickens, which takes about a minute, maybe less, take the pan off the heat and remember to turn off the burner.

Scoop the oatmeal into your bowl or bowls. If a chunk falls on the counter or over the rim of the pan, you may get an urge to put it in your mouth. Do not. At this point, unsweetened, the oatmeal will only taste bitter and salty.

You have to let the oatmeal sit for about a minute to finish cooking. I like to wash the utensils and such and leave the pot to soak while this goes on. If you want just plain chocolate oatmeal, add your butter and there you go. I like to add toppings, though. My favorites are a big spoonful of peanut butter from a large jar of processed store brand and a handful of chocolate chips. Mini chips melt better, but you get 2 ounces less per bag. You can add whatever you want--flavored peanut butter, other nut butters, flavored baking chips.. though I have tried cinnamon chips and would rather just add cinnamon, and the only mint ones I could find are Andes and they are VERY strong. Just be sure not to add anything cold to the oatmeal until after it's sat for the whole minute.

Stir vigorously (did you remember the sugar?) and enjoy.

This is over-explained and probably posted at the very worst time, but I hope it's useful too.

[nothing0fnothing]

Hey! So I have some lived experience in being poor and mentally ill I had to learn the hard way in my adulthood after growing up with abusive neglectful narcissistic parents. Maybe it will help someone else.

1. Instant pot. Crock pot. Rice cooker. You only need one, but all 3 are versatile, can use very little electricity to run, and are perfect to dump ingredients into and come back later to a healthy, cooked dinner.

You can research which is best for you by looking up "crock pot recipes" "rice cooker meals" to get a feel for what types of meals you can prepare in each and how it's purposes can best fit your cooking style.

2. Get your electronics secondhand. Phone companies make so much off of poor people bc they contract us into pay plans that mean that by the time our phones are needing replacing, we've paid for it 2 or more times over. Consider going Sim only and getting your phone secondhand.

Websites like backmarket and envirophone sell refurbished phones, tablets, laptops, smart watches, TVs, consoles, headphones, all sorts like new and for a fraction of the price point you'd usually get them at. I've not bought an electronic new since 2015 and the products I get refurbished last just as long as if I'd bought them new. Plus it's better for the environment. Even if I had money I don't think I'd go back to buying new honestly.

3. Static charger. If you're Autistic and can't sit still, like me you might be finding that the first thing to go on your electronics is your charge port. It's really annoying because it's not a cheap fix and I have had to replace phones early when they won't charge any more.

Last year my girlfriend and I got static chargers. It's an adapter that sits in your phone/tablets charger slot that magnetically connects to a universal charger. Its great for us because now everything rechargeable (phones/tablets, but also headphones, game controllers, keyboards/mouses) takes the same cable. It's really handy, but for me the best part is that the adapter doesn't move. So even if I'm fidgeting with my phone on charge it won't wear down the charger pins over time. We paid £20 for 3 and it's paid for itself because I've not had to take my phone for it's yearly fix since I got it.

4. Make a cozy space outside of bed. As a bedrotting girlie I know the allure of just saying "fuck it" and curling up in bed is so strong. I also know that when I do it for days at a time my sleep quality gets worse, my days blur together and my mental health gets so much worse. Especially if I'm working, watching TV, eating all my meals and doing my hobbies all from my bed.

One thing that helps me break up the bedrotting and at least helps me get some decent sleep so I might wake up feeling better tomorrow, is having a cozy spot that isn't in bed I can spend at least some of my day in.

For me, it's the couch in my living room. I've furnished it with pillows, blankets, and a little coffee table I can rest my stuff on so I can feel as comfy as I do in bed, but not actually be in bed most of the day. For You it could be a book nook, or a floor bed, or a desk with a chair in your bedroom.

5. Giant water bottle. This one is really simple. We need 8 glasses of water a day to be healthy and hydrated. Basically nobody depressed has the energy to fill up a glass of water 8 times a day. If you can get a water bottle that holds 2 litres (65oz) of water, now you only need to fill one drinking vessel once a day to be healthy and hydrated.

It's really simple and sill but it honestly saved my life. I buy those drink flavor packets because I drink more when it tastes nice. Is it as healthy as plain water? No. Is it healthier than no water? Yes. Easy peasy.

My bottle is from Meoky, its the 64oz stainless steel camping bottle with a flip straw I got for under £20. I like it because it keeps my water cold and I'd rather walk on hot coals than take a sip without a straw, but I've bought same size BPA free plastic bottles for like £3 and they have lasted me 2-3 years too so the budget options are absolutely worth it too.

6. Reconsider what's worth getting second hand. Generally when thinking about buying secondhand we mean clothes at the thrift, and that's great, but buying pre loved can be anything, and you can buy some high ticket items at an affordable price point that way.

If I ever want an appliance I always look second hand first. My rice cooker is secondhand and it is my favourite appliance. I've also bought a popcorn maker for a fraction of the price I'd buy it new, and I'm looking for a Kitchen Aid mixer for no more than a third the price they usually sell at. My vanity houses my shark air styler, I got it refurbished second hand and it was like new when I bought it. I use it every day and it still has so much wear in it.

Generally, the bigger and heavier something is, the closer to free you can get it, because the people getting rid of it just want it gone. If you ever need a washing machine or some furniture, look on gumtree or local no buy groups first. Type "free ___" followed by where you live into Google to get an idea whats available. If you're furnishing a space it's very likely you can get everything you need for the cost of the van you hired to collect it all.

7. Frozen vegetables. Fresh produce is getting more expensive and because we neurodivergent and mentally ill people can have a habit of letting fresh produce rot in the fridge, wasting money and making more mess to clean up, it's usually not worth it. The thing is, frozen produce is cheaper because it is picked in season, healther because it is frozen at optimum ripeness, and can be safely stored in your freezer for months, it's so worth doing.

They're usually pre-cut and can generally just be chucked into your dish frozen to defrost while cooking, making them easy and accessible. You can buy mixed vegetable packs (in the UK the most common is sweetcorn/peas/carrots and broccoli/cauliflower/) for some variety too, which I like to just dump a portion into soups or broths for some added vitamins.

8. Medication delivery. I've been medicated for mental illness for years, and a regular problem I used to have was I would neglect going to pick up my meds because I was depressed, then I'd run out and be unable to collect them because the lack of meds was making me more depressed.

Now however, I'm signed up with an online pharmacy. They processes my prescriptions exactly the same way any other pharmacy would and dispense them through the post in a box that fits through my letterbox. I never have to leave the house for meds again which is actually a lifesaver, the shipping is super cheap, like free for 3 day delivery and £2.99 for next day, and it's all processed through a super simple app that I only have to use like one a month when I request my refill.

It's so worth it and if you struggle to get out like me I absolutely recommend it. In the UK it's called Lloyd's Direct Pharmacy, but I'm sure it's a service you can find in other places of the world too.

9. Laundry separation is a lie. Which isn't a big deal for people who don't care about throwing money away on extra loads or people who have the spoons to faff around separating their clothes arbitrarily, but for poor neurodivergent people, it is.

So here's the thing, the rules of separating laundry by colour came about when clothes were made of all natural materials that would stick to each other when agitated and natural dyes that would run in water. Nowadays, clothes are made of synthetic or blended materials that can handle the friction of a modern machine and synthetic dyes that hold up to basically anything. 99% of clothes on the market, and therefore probably 99% of your wardrobe, is polycotton or some other poly-blend. So generally, everything you have can just all go in together on a warm wash.

Now, if you have woolen, linen or cashmere pieces, you should be separating them and following the care instructions on the label, but everything else, just shove it in mate, nothing bad will happen.

10. Protein powder. Protein powder is cheap, it's stored dry to it basically never goes bad, it's obviously protein so it's a really good addition to your diet, it tastes of whatever flavour you buy it in so it's a good meal substitute if you're depressed and your appetite is low, and it comes together really easily.

I usually get it in big tubs because they're cheaper per gram that way and I just add them to my coffee/hot chocolate for a boost or stir it into some Greek yogurt for a quick healthy snack. Thats actually my favourite way to get protein in because it's like 2 minutes and it covers up that sour taste yogurt has. I've also stirred it into milk for my cereal to varying success but it's good because the fat in the milk and the carbs and fortified vitamins in the cereal make it basically a meal. If I'm struggling for breakfast I usually add a scoop or two to an instant porridge pot and I have a ready to eat nutritional meal ready in the time it takes to boil the kettle.

[strawberrystepmom]

Gm kendalll!! What’s your favorite recipe? Like what do you think defines you as a person?

my sweet sorin this is truly one of the most thoughtful questions i've ever been asked so thank you so much for taking the time to do so. i had to sit down and really think about it for a bit but to me, the only answer is caldo verde.

caldo verde (literally green soup) is something i ate almost weekly growing up - a deceptively simple soup made from potatoes, sausage of some kind, and a mountain of beautiful green kale. it's hearty and soothing, something that my grandfather ate often growing up on a dairy farm.

when my papa was still with us, he made big pots of it and we'd go over to their house and have fresh bread and our soup no matter the season and it was a time i recall as being really important because it taught me the value of just listening and being together. we would all talk over each other, ten convos going on at once, yet i dont think i've ever felt more heard in my life than i did during those dinners.

now everyone has their recipe. my papa had his that i now have, his sisters have and had their own, fuck i think my sister has her own but it's deceptively simple. you can use chourico, that is not my recommendation, i use linguica and recommend you get it if you can find it because it adds a lot of smoky flavor to the soup itself. it makes your home smell so warm and inviting, too. im not sure where in the world you're at, but i highly recommend taking the time this fall to do the following:

procure one pound of linguica. cut it into medallions or half moons, whichever you prefer, and set it aside. chop up 4-6 potatoes in bite sized cubes. chop a yellow onion (or two if you're serving a lot of people as i tend to do) and i am insane and use four to six gloves of garlic. i grate mine with a microplane but you can rough chop, use a press, use pre minced, etc. whatever is easiest for you!

heat good olive oil in a soup pot and saute your onion and garlic until your kitchen starts smelling really good. i stress good because a lot of the flavor basis comes from the oil you use here. once the onion and garlic are good, add your potatoes and sautee them for a few minutes just to let them start softening. at this point, i add my linguica. i let it fry for usually a good 8 or so minutes to really infuse the olive oil and veggies with the spices in it and then i remove it so that it doesn't get tough and hard to eat while everything else stews.

add about 6 qts of water and chicken bouillon powder to your potatoes, onions, and garlic (we are a knorr household but use whatever you have - boxed broth is also a great option here). crank up the heat and let it come to a simmer for about 25-30 minutes. at this point you will have a really beautiful soup and certain people will remove the potatoes from the stock and use a food processor/immersion blender to make them smooth and like a thickener but i dont, i prefer the more rustic experience and leave them whole. add your linguica back and let it simmer for a few more minutes then dump in the largest handfuls of kale you possibly can. i use like a pound per four servings bc im an insane person and love it lmao this will wilt really quickly and all you have to do is stir it until it all looks cooked through.

best when shared with people you love with a fresh loaf of bread from your favorite bakery.

<3

[witch-hazels-musings]

hi! can i get a divine reading for thoma, with the aroma of coffee and symbols of anchor, necklace, and star? thank you!

aroma: coffee (domestic) | symbols: anchor (stable love life), necklace (admiration), star (protection)

:: thoma x gn reader | sfw - fluff | tasseography event | teyvat memories

“Hey, hey, not yet,” Thoma scolded you as he carefully placed the large pot in the middle of the table. You recoiled your hand, mouth turning down into a pout which made him laugh. “I still have a few things to bring over, just wait a bit longer.” 

“Uugh, alright.” you replied, crossing your arms and gazing at the delicious food he had prepared. This was a special day, one where he promised he’d take care of all the bits and pieces. Once a month the two of you spoil the other. Last month, you took Thoma out to one of his favorite food stalls before walking to a quiet, secluded spot near Inazuma city to watch the stars. Truth be told, you expected he’d want a little more pampering, or spoiling, but he explained he was perfectly content as long as he could keep his head in your lap and talk with you late into the evening. This month it was your turn, and you begged him to play the Hot Pot game with you. 

“Here we go,” Thoma placed a tray full of interesting ingredients next to the pot. Luckily you weren’t playing with his boss, otherwise you were sure some of those would be horrible, inedible ingredients that would make all of you sick. Instead it was an assortment of both your favorite things. Meats, veggies, potatoes, noodles and a few extra bits that Thoma was certain to make you try. He might be spoiling you, but he also wanted the best for you - and that meant trying new things that would keep you healthy (boo Thoma, you are always so thoughtful). 

“So, do you want to go at the same time or?” You were so giddy, so excited to play this with him that you couldn’t contain the radiant smile stretching your lips or stop yourself from bouncing. 

“How about we pick a few ingredients each, then put them in the pot together?” 

“Okay!” 

The two of you took your time carefully identifying the items to throw in the pot. Thoma let you go first, his hand covering his eyes so he didn’t accidently peak at what you were doing. Once you were ready, you did the same and soon it was time to dump them all in. 

“Here we go,” Thoma said as he lifted the lid off the pot. “You put yours in then I’ll go.” Nodding, you waited until his eyes were closed before picking up several choices from the tray, you tapped his hand when you were done, closed your eyes and waited for the sound of the lid to tell you he was finished. “Now we wait!”

“I don’t wanna.” 

“Haha, that’s part of the game. Here,” he asked for your plate and started to place several place holder items onto it. A pile of steaming, sticky rice, a few dumplings he made especially for you. A nice variety of them but not too many that you’d get full before the game even started. 

When he handed your plate back, you took a bite and nearly passed out at the flavor. “These taste incredible.” 

“Thank you,” he replied, cheeks turning a shade of pink at your compliment. 

“You’re an incredible cook, Thoma. That’s why I let you cook all the time,” you explained, a twinge of guilt in your chest. It’s not that you didn’t try to cook, it’s just that ... well, it didn’t always turn out so great. 

“Don’t feel bad now, okay?” he stated as if he knew what you were thinking - but he always did. “I don’t mind cooking. Plus, I get to see your reaction which makes it worth it.” 

You swallowed the food in your mouth but kept a close eye on him. If he wasn’t the most adorable thing in all the world, and by the way he flashed his eyes at you before shyly looking away, perhaps he thought the same. “Thoma, are you flirting with me?” 

“I’m simply expressing my feelings.” 

“Well keep it up, because I like you too.” You both smiled at the other and if you were close enough you would have kissed him on his rosy cheeks. So, instead, you laid your hand on the table and when he placed his on top you let your fingers dance across his palm. 

For a while, the two of you enjoyed the conversation while you waited for the food to be ready. Thoma checked it every once in a while, or refilled your drink. At least once you forced him to stay where he was while you ran and grabbed another pitcher of water and freshly pressed fruit cocktails. Neither of you drank alcohol, but you did enjoy the complexities of the beverages, so instead you made your own ‘virgin’ equivalents. 

“Is it ready?” You asked as you refilled his drink, hand resting on his shoulder so you wouldn’t fall on top of him. 

“I -- mmm - I think it is!” 

“Excellent!” Quickly, you kissed the top of his head before returning to your side of the table. When your legs were comfortably crossed under you, you readied your chopsticks for the kill. “Me first.” 

“Alright,” Thoma laughed and opened the lid to reveal a puff of steam and an aroma you couldn’t quite place. “Smells ... different.” 

“It’ll be awesome,” you explained as you reached in to grab the first thing you could. When you could feel it securely in your grip, you closed your eyes and placed the food in your mouth. “-Haafa” It was hot but there was no mistaking what is was, “phobabo!” 

“Haha, what?” 

“Potato!” You yelled but covered your mouth so you didn’t laugh the food out. 

“How lucky, your favorite.” You nodded and let the delicious vegetable melt in your mouth while Thoma fished around for something himself. By the time you ate yours, he had grabbed something and was starting to chew. 

This was so exciting that you found yourself laughing ridiculously. “So ...?” 

“... iph thiph ...” Thoma’s eyes shot open and when he swallowed he seemed shocked by his identification, “rice cake?” 

“Mmhm!” 

“But that wasn’t on the ...” 

“I made it myself. My own secret ingredient,” you beamed and clapped to yourself. It was so hard to surprise Thoma but this time you got him and you were so glad that was the first thing he tasted.

“I thought it was my day to spoil you?” 

Chuckling, you closed your eyes and reached into the pot again, “Making you happy does spoil me.” When you grabbed something else and placed it in your mouth again before letting it cool, Thoma found himself in awe of you. 

His life wasn’t always the easiest. It was work every day, survival all the time, but with you he felt he could finally relax. With you he finally felt like someone was looking after him in ways he couldn’t foresee. 

“Here, try this one,” you hummed as you cupped the dripping food with your hand and waited for him to take a bite. 

“With pleasure,” Thoma vowed, his heart fuller at this moment than it ever had been before. 

all works & ideas created by Hazel, recreations, reposts not allowed even with credit provided

[omgpurplefattie]

for the character-centric stories prompts, Ye Baiyi and "What would happen to a houseplant in their care?" ♥

“She’s not going to kill you if they don’t all survive,” Rong Changqing had told Ye Baiyi after Rong-furen had finally stopped with her instructions, repeated instructions, and even more admonitions.

“Not so sure,” Ye Baiyi said, trying to commit to memory what the little yellow orchids needed. They wanted little water, right, but regularly, and they could never be allowed to remain standing in a puddle?

Compared to the orchids, the large pot of silvergrass was simple. The kitchen herbs were even simpler -- give them two ladles of water whenever they started looking a bit wan.

“Don’t think about the damn plants,” Rong Changqing assured him, “the main thing is you keep training Xuan-er and make sure he goes to bed before midnight. And don’t let him tinker in my workshop by himself. At least not after midnight. Please? Baiyi?”

If Changqing looked at him like that, with his beautiful smile and beautiful eyes, what else could Ye Baiyi do but grumble “I’ll try to” ungraciously, rather than smile back and reflect the things that Changqing made him feel. Every. Single. Time.

You’d think he would be used to it by now. For the Heavens’ sake, Xuan-er was already nine; the pain in those feelings should have worn down, become dulled and familiar. Perhaps it was the immortality that Rong Changqing had so unwisely cultivated and then dumped on Ye Baiyi; not only Ye Baiyi’s body, even his feelings were preserved forever unchanging in a block of clear ice.

“Don’t look so crestfallen, Baiyi,” Rong Changqing said. “It’s not even a month; we just have to be at the wedding of my lady’s youngest brother. We’ll hurry back as fast as we can. And Xuan-er can help you. If you’re really scared of what she’ll do to you if her chives have turned into hay, or the forge cats have peed on the basil.”

“I’m not scared,” Ye Baiyi grumbled. “I’m just offended that you wouldn’t even trust me with a fucking potted houseplant. I can feed the forge cats all right, and make sure that Xuan-er eats every day and sets nothing on fire. So why should I kill the damn orchids?”

“The forge cats,” Rong Changqing laughed, “will complain very loudly if you don’t feed them every day. Plants, however, just wilt quietly, and before you realize it, they’re dead.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ye Baiyi said, glaring up at Changqing, “I know what qi feels like, and I won’t let it falter.”

“Course you do,” Rong Changqing said, easily, but Ye Baiyi felt he still didn’t believe him. He made a face.

***

Two lunar months later, the Rongs returned, with a lot of gifts and good food for Xuan-er, and a few books they had thought Ye Baiyi might like, as well as a few bottles of syrup for him to flavor his snow with.

Xuan-er had built a box that would shoot crossbow bolts without the crossbow, steadily feeding them into the mechanism; he proudly presented it to his father, and they took quite a while to take it apart and then improve it so it would shoot even faster.

Baiyi went and had some snow with pomegranate syrup; it wasn’t bad, really. He perched on a rock and looked into the valley where he hadn’t been for so long, except in especially fierce winters, and then only for a little bit.

He didn’t know how he felt about Changqing and Rong-furen being back. Life with Xuan-er had been fun; they had trained every day, there had been no set bedtimes or mealtimes for either of them, and they had just ambled through their days in the snow. Xuan-er’s martial arts had taken leaps and bounds with nobody to interrupt him. He did look a little unkempt now, but really, all those hot baths were overrated, especially for a nine year old.

It was already getting dark when Rong-furen came out to get her husband and son from the workshop; the fire was going, and she had been cooking dinner.

“What have you done to my plants?” she asked, casually, as she passed Ye Baiyi.

“Nothing,” he said, “except what you’d told me. The forge cats were much harder to take care of; the calico brought out her kittens, and we kept running after them. Xuan-er shot at an eagle who tried to grab one. They’re all doing fine.”

“Don’t deflect,” Rong-furen said. “My plants have never been this lush and healthy. You have made cuttings from the orchids, and the roots are coming on fine; the basil is almost a tree now, and the other herbs fairly burst from their window boxes. I have noticed the kittens because they were playing hide-and-seek in the silvergrass and jumping up to catch the fronds. The lotuses in their basin and the peonies in their container are already flowering even though it’s early for them, this far up. You turned out to be an excellent gardener.”

“I just did what you told me,” Ye Baiyi said. “I checked every day, and made sure the forge cats didn’t pee on them. That’s all.”

He may have been feeding the plants a little of his qi, but hey, he was an immortal, he had the stuff to spare.

“Do you want to carry on doing it?” she asked. “I have seen the way you repotted the little blue orchids; there was so much care and attention in the work. You enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

“Nah,” Baiyi said, “they’re your plants. I just didn’t want to be the one who killed them. Changqing -- well, he thought I’d screw up, so I wanted to show him I don’t. I’m no good at this, and the plants don’t really like me. I’m the last person you want as a gardener, really.”

“If you change your mind -- any time,” she shrugged, and went about her errand.

Changqing and Xuan-er emerged from the forge even before she had reached the door; they were holding out the kittens and talking enthusiastically while they walked back towards the house and their dinner.

“Good job, Baiyi,” Changqing said vaguely as he passed Ye Baiyi on his perch; he reached up to clap him on the upper arm, then went inside with his family, plants and Baiyi already forgotten.-

[jooshthepunished]

Shrimp Spaghetti (single-serving).

Start by choosing the size of your frozen shrimps [You can skip a prep step by choosing tail-off shrimp*], I chose a medium size because I had it on hand, but I'm wondering how those tiny ones would do in this recipe.

Put your desired quantity of the shrimps into a container, and thaw them under a hot tap at little more than a drizzle. Check in every couple of minutes, testing the pliability of the meat.

Once fully thawed, [*start removing the tails if you bought shrimp with tails], dump them out onto a paper towel and pat them relatively dry (to avoid splattering during frying).

[About here is where you want to start heating up your pot of water for the spaghetti. You know how it is with to cook spaghetti, so I won't bore you with those details.]

Next, melt 2 tbsp of butter in a hot skillet and gently dump in your shrimps, frying them until they develop a nice fond on the bottom of the pan.

Add salt, pepper, onion, and as much of whatever kind of garlic you want during this step [Fresh chopped, pre-minced from a jar, roasted, paste, whatever you want. Garlic salt or powder is also acceptable imho, whatever you feel is your speed].

Once a nice fond has built up, pour in 1/4 cup of cheap filtered Apple Cider to de-glaze the pan, scraping the fond up and mixing it in with the shrimp. Add a pinch of sugar to make sure the apple flavor maintains a little of its presence.

Plop in a good helping of chili sauce (I prefer any brand of Sriracha) and incorporate until a nice greasy sauce has developed in the skillet and there's no fond left on the bottom. Turn the heat way down to Lo and let the shrimp rest while you finish your noodles [trust me on this one, you'd rather add hot noodles to warm shrimp than hot shrimp to warm noodles].

Once your noodles are to your desired done-ness, drain off all but a little puddle of water at the bottom. Add another pat of butter to your shrimp and turn the heat up ever so slightly to let it get a head start on melting.

Start adding your hot spaghetti to your shrimp with some tongs, letting the excess water drain away a little bit back into the pot. You don't want to add too much water to the shrimp because it'll dilute the sauce. Once all the spaghetti is in the pan, give it a good stir until everything is well-sauced.

Season to taste and serve.