#all the dialogues (including the poem) are from in stars and time (go play it btw. it's good!)

[vingler-mirror]

Was reading the orange poem in "In Stars and Time", and it's really screaming Schneider, so I had to make a dialogue edit of it with the Reverse 1999 casts:

[loopy777]

RE: WIPs game: Actress Mai. what is she acting in? besides her ongoing starring role as Repressed Perfect Child?

Ah, "Actress Mai." This is a headcanon I keep chipping away at in the hopes that I'll eventually have something I want to publish. I have a whole host of little ideas and scene concepts, but only one actual WIP.

It started with the idea that Zuko and Ursa are theater snobs. Sure, Ursa apparently attended Ember Island Player performances, which Zuko disdained, but my thought is that she took what she could get in terms of live theater with her family even if she agreed with his criticisms. However, I like to headcanon that Mai loves the Ember Island Players, hates classical theater, and generally is the type of person who thinks that Michael Bay movies are great and more people should just turn off their brains and allow themselves to be entertained.

Why?

Well, because character conflict is what makes stories interesting. Zuko gritting his teeth through Mai's praise of how the EIPs finally made "Love Amongst the Dragons" interesting? Gold! Ursa and Mai getting into heated drunken arguments about theater styles? Gold! Mai convincing Kiyi of the good points of the controversial 'Love Amongst the Dragons II: Love Harder' (which is canon to at least two of my Maiko fics) while Zuko and Ursa grit their teeth? Solid gold!

This fun little conflict turned into something more, though. If Ursa and Mai are dark mirrors of each other in terms of theater tastes, then it felt like Mai needed a little acting history to parallel Ursa's own. But Ursa could be a publicly known actress because she was a peasant; such a profession was okay for her. Mai is a noble, though, and an acting job would be seen as beneath her, especially as a woman, as Polite Fire Society knows (or thinks it knows) that 'actress' is really just a polite term for prostitute. This is a takeoff from some real-life history stuff that I first learned of through Sherlock Holmes stories. Apparently, Irene Adler being an 'opera singer' was a thing British readers would recognize as being of a sordid nature.

So I decided that Mai did some secret, illicit acting anonymously during her childhood and teenage years. She stumbled across an opportunity, gave it a try, and found it fulfilling despite the social stigma. She liked being able to project emotions of all kinds in public, while at the same time shielded by masks or makeup or costumes or whatever. She liked being other people, people who find love with their heroes or die tragically to teach everyone a point or villainously ruin everything around them as a force of vengeful nature. It was the only opportunity for expression that she had, as well as a quiet form of rebellion. So for years she snuck out of the capital, down to Harbor City, and acted in all kinds of plays for a troupe that accepted not paying her as a fair trade for keeping her anonymous.

Naturally, moving to Omashu put a crimp on that, and so it ended.

So the idea is that Ursa eventually learns this about Mai after years of their butting heads over theater opinions, sees the parallels and perpendiculars in their lives, and grudgingly comes to respect Mai's completely wrong opinions about theater as at least being informed. And Mai, who is good at acting and does know the classics and would be wasted in the Ember Island Players, helps Ursa out with some plays she writes (still anonymous, although Zuko and Ursa know) even though Mai privately thinks the dialogue is too stilted and the stories kind of cliched.

But I have had trouble beating all of this into a proper story. I want to do flashbacks to Mai on stage, I want to show her conflict with Ursa, I want to reveal how Ty Lee found out and used that to get Mai to accept running away to the circus, I want Zuko's reaction to finding that his wife can recite soliloquies from all the major classics, I want Kiyi becoming an Ember Island Players groupie, etc. It's just missing a plot to hang it all on.

So here's a snippet of one of my attempts to construct something:

Noren grimaced. "Honestly, I was impressed we got enough people to fill out all the parts, never mind understudies. This play-"

"-is important," Ursa finished for him.

He hesitated just a moment before nodding. "And it's important for the same reasons that it was tough to get actors. I'm sure once Zuko sees it and can give it his official approval-"

"But he can't see anything without a Rinzen." Ursa thought about her son out there in the audience, anonymous amidst the 'peasants' of Hira'a. Zuko didn't mind mixing with his people, despite being their Lord, but the only reason he was here, tonight, was because Ursa herself had written the play, and he was a good son who would always support his mother.

Zuko had even brought his friends, including the Avatar. Aang was a delightful young man, and always very nice to Ursa, but she couldn't help but feel trepidation at his presence. After all, Avatar Roku, Ursa's grandfather and Aang's previous life, was a major character in this play, and while the story was based on real events, it was Ursa's hand that had shaped his dialogue and actions. She was putting her thoughts and philosophies, her very heart, out on the stage for public assessment, and this was tricky material. Would it do right by history?

Plus the lead actress was sick, and going by her complaints and the smell of the privy, perhaps dying.

Ursa had to tell herself that her audience, her friends and family and neighbors, wouldn't enjoy this play becoming a disaster. None of them were that bad. This wasn't the Capital. And she wasn't a princess. Not anymore.

So why had she taken it on herself to write this play, to positively dramatize a story of an ancestor who a few years ago was considered a heretic and traitor, to will into being a performance right here in the Fire Nation of a play that featured a heroic Air Nomad character whose actress was currently trapped in the privy?

Because her nation had hurt the world, and she wouldn't leave it to her son alone to do all the work of helping to fix that. That's why.

"Maybe," she ventured, "I could play the part."

Noren frowned. "You? But you're playing the Lady of Glass, and the characters share several scenes."

But Ursa was already analyzing the copy of the script that existed in her mind. "Rinzen has a lot more lines than the glass spirit, and I'm the only one who knows them. And playing a spirit is a lot easier than playing an Air Nomad. A spirit is just a voice, a costume, and some special effects. An Air Nomad character is a performance, and we're fresh out of actresses."

Noren's head tilted from side to side. "We could ask Kiyi. She knows the play by heart. She's a bit young for the part, yes, but-"

"No," Ursa cut him off. "She'd say yes if we asked her, but she hates being on stage. I'm not going to do that to her. I'd rather call off the play and see if our Rinzen is feeling better tomorrow."

Noren blanched at the very thought and made a gesture of good luck. "Well, maybe we can find a new Lady of Glass. And adjust the Rinzen costume. So are you thinking we'll just go on stage and ask the crowd who wants to join the cast, or maybe-"

And then there was a shift behind Noren, the red curtain over the office's doorway being pulled aside to reveal a living shadow. It seemed to Ursa that a chill had entered the room.

Lady Mai, Intended to Fire Lord Zuko, had arrived.

Ursa stiffened as Mai stepped into the office and let the curtain fall back into place. Time and familiarity had not made it any easier to be in a room with her son's lover. She had no real doubts about Mai, no resentment over the early difficulties Zuko that had apparently been overcome, but it was hard to reconcile Azula's shy and dour childhood companion with what existed now. Mai walked around covered with knives, watching everything; she never spoke unless there was an explicit need, but her gaze was always focused and her eyes missed nothing.

And it was in Mai's kind of silent, watchful abyss that Judgement grew. Ursa did not have a good feeling about how Mai likely judged her. How could a child of the Fire Nation's capital, someone who had become strong alongside Azula, a world-class warrior whose last stand for the life of her lover was already the subject of at least one popular poem, have any empathy for Ursa's life or the mistakes she had made?

Mai looked at her with dull eyes. "Is everything okay? The crowd is getting restless, and Zuko was worried. I told him I'd check on things so that he wouldn't miss the beginning of the play."

Ursa hesitated against that flat, low voice, and Noren stepped in to answer, "Our lead actress is sick. Ursa and I were just discussing options. There- uh, there aren't a lot of them."

Mai might as well have been told that dinner was planned to include green sprouts, but they were all out and so the yellow ones would be substituted. "Which part?"

Ursa swallowed. "The Air Nomad girl, Rinzen."

Mai quirked an eyebrow. "The heroine." She was still and silent for a long moment, and then sighed. "Zuko's really been looking forward to this. I guess I can help out. All right, I'll be your Rinzen."

Ursa wasn't quite sure she had heard that right. "You- you want to take the part? But-" Her voice faltered, as all the possible objections swirled through her mind. Mai was, to put it simply, completely lacking in charisma and non-threatening presence. She spoke without emotion. She moved so efficiently that no one in the back of the audience would even notice her. And she was so disinterested in everything that she'd probably nod off in the middle of the performance.

Noren offered a troubled smile. "Thank you for the offer, but acting is harder than it looks. It's not just about going on stage and reciting lines. An actress needs-"

"It's Nomad part, right?" Mai shrugged. "So we want a high, bright voice. Circular gestures. A bounce in all the movements. Here, like this." She stretched out her arms, shook her head, and then-

-and then-

-and then Mai was no longer there. The woman in red and black looked like her, but there was a wide mischievous smile on her face, and her eyes were big and bright. She stepped towards Ursa- no, they weren't mere steps. She kicked her heels high with each one, and the way she shifted her weight flirted with almost being a dance. She held her arms up at her side as she moved, and then when she reached Ursa, swung them dramatically to bring her hands together into a sign of respect.

She bowed, and in a voice that positively rang and filled the room, said, "Are you not the Firebender Avatar, Roku? What a fortunate wind blows to lay my path upon your own!" She rose again, and trotted in a circle around Ursa. "I say, you are taller than I expected, and must be quite heavy. Are you sure you're keeping up with your Airbending, young Avatar?" She raised a hand and held it out to the side.

Noren recovered before Ursa did, realizing what was going on, and quickly found a rag and placed in the waiting hand.

Mai's eyes never left Ursa the whole time, and as soon as the rag was in her grip, she moved again, taking a stance that had clearly been modeled on Avatar Aang's own style, and held the rag out in front of her, dangling it from her fingers and bouncing it in the air.

Mai gave a laugh that was echoed through the little room. "Your beard flutters in my breeze! Come, young Avatar, let's have a spar!"

There was a beat, and Ursa was tempted to deliver Roku's next line in response, but then all at once the younger woman slumped, letting the grandness leak out of her limbs. When she straightened, Mai was back, standing like a blade made of shadow, her face blank and her eyes dull.

Ursa blinked. What had she just witnessed? So many questions swirled in her mind, and she decided to ask the most important of them: "You know all the lines?"

[papermoonloveslucy]

TOO MANY HUSBANDS

April 21, 1947

The Gulf Screen Guild Theater present  Wesley Ruggles’ Too Many Husbands, which was a 1940 Columbia Pictures release.

Produced and Directed by: Bill Lawrence

Music by: Wibur Hatch

Synopsis ~ Vicky Lowndes (Lucille Ball) loses her first husband, Bill Cardew (Bob Hope), in a boating accident in which he is presumed drowned. The lonely widow is comforted by Bill's best friend and publishing business partner Henry Lowndes (Frank Sinatra). Six months later, she marries him. Six months after that, Bill shows up, after having been stranded on a uninhabited island and then rescued. Vicky has a tough choice to make.

The Screen Guild Theater (aka The Screen Guild Players), was one of the most popular drama anthology series during the Golden Age of Radio. At this point it is being sponsored by Gulf Oil. From its first broadcast in 1939, up to its farewell in 1952, it showcased radio adaptations of popular Hollywood films. Many Hollywood names became part of the show, including Bette Davis, Bing Crosby, Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, and many more. The actors’ fees were all donated to the Motion Picture Relief Fund, an organization that provides aid to retired actors. Screen Guild Theater was heard on different radio networks, beginning with CBS from 1939 to 1948, NBC from 1948 to 1950, ABC from 1950 to 1951, and back to CBS until its last episode on June 29, 1952. Throughout its run, a total of 527 episodes were produced.

The radio show brought movies to radio for thirty minutes each Monday evening on CBS. The show aired for 242 programs beginning with “Yankee Doodle Dandy” starring James Cagney and ending with “My Reputation.” In between were all time classics such as “Casablanca” with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, “Sergeant York” with Gary Cooper and “Holiday Inn” with Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, and Dinah Shore.

The Screen Guild Players previously broadcast an adaptation of “Too Many Husbands” on March 8, 1942��starring Hedy Lamar, Bob Hope, and Bing Crosby. On September 4, 1944 yet another version was aired by the Players, starring Donna Reed, Frank Sinatra, and Bill Goodwin. 

Too Many Husbands (1940) was produced and directed by Wesley Ruggles, with a screenplay by Claude Binyon. The film stars Jean Arthur, Fred MacMurray and Melvyn Douglas, and is based on the 1919 play Home and Beauty by W. Somerset Maugham, which was retitled Too Many Husbands when it came to New York.  The story is a variation on the 1864 poem Enoch Arden by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. In the UK, the film was released as My Two Husbands. The film was nominated for an Oscar for Sound Recording. Too Many Husbands was remade as a musical, Three for the Show (1955), with Jack Lemmon and Betty Grable. 

Two of the film’s background players, Bert Stevens and James Conaty, were later seen in as extras on “I Love Lucy.” Sam McDaniel (brother of Oscar-winner Hattie McDaniel of Gone With the Wind), plays a porter, just as he will do on “I Love Lucy,” becoming the first black actor to have lines on the series. Star Fred MacMurray will appear with Lucille Ball in “Lucy Hunts Uranium” in 1958. 

RADIO CAST

Lucille Ball (Vickie) plays the role originated in the film by Jean Arthur. In April 1947, Ball was awaiting the release of two films: Lured and Her Husband’s Affairs.  

Bob Hope (Bill) plays the role originated in the film by Fred MacMurray. Hope had just released the film My Favorite Brunette. Hope and Ball would do four films together, staring in 1949 with Sorrowful Jones. 

Frank Sinatra (Henry) plays the role originated in the film by Melvyn Douglas. Sinatra had just released the film It Happened in Brooklyn on April 7, 1947. Primarily a singer, this is the only time he acts opposite Lucille Ball. 

Truman Bradley (Announcer) was selected by Henry Ford to be the announcer for the “Ford Sunday Evening Hour”. With his distinctive, authoritative voice, he soon became a radio actor as well as a narrator in numerous movies. Bradley was the radio announcer for shows by Red Skelton, Burns and Allen, and Frank Sinatra. 

Peter, the Butler is played by an uncredited performer. 

‘TOO MANY’ TRIVIA!

The title is easily confused with the title of Lucille Ball’s radio series “My Favorite Husband,” and her films Too Many Girls, and Her Husband’s Affairs. 

Lucille Ball also appeared with Screen Guild Players in “Tight Shoes” (April 12, 1942), “Nothing But the Truth” (May 3, 1943), and “A Night To Remember” (May 1, 1944). 

From late 1942 to July 1947 Lady Esther Cosmetics sponsored the show which had been previously sponsored by Gulf Oil. It was first known as the “Lady Esther Presents the Screen Guild Players” and then became "The Lady Esther Screen Guild Theater.” 

As is his penchant, Hope ad libs during the script. While hugging Vickie upon his return from the ‘dead’, he says “Let’s just stay like this till ‘Take it or Leave It’ comes on the air!”  “Take It or Leave It” was a radio quiz show, which ran from April 1940 to July 1947 on CBS. It switched to NBC in 1947, and in September 1950, the name of the program was changed to “The $64 Question.”  Hope often flubs his dialogue, but covers with comedy. 

Bill (or maybe it is Bob ad libbing) mentions Dorothy Dix. Author Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer (1861-1951) was widely known by the pen name Dorothy Dix. As the forerunner of today’s popular advice columnists, Dix was America’s highest paid and most widely read female journalist at the time of her death. Her advice on marriage was syndicated in newspapers around the world with an estimated audience of 60 million readers.

Bill (or maybe it is Bob ad libbing) wonders why Vickie married Henry: “Did you lose a question on “Truth or Consequences?” “Truth or Consequences” was a game show originally hosted on NBC radio by Ralph Edwards (1940–1957), although it also was later seen on television. 

Bill (or maybe it is Bob ad libbing) says that the mattress on the bed that he and Henry have to share feels like it has been stuffed with Grape-Nuts. Grape-Nuts is a breakfast cereal developed in 1897 by C. W. Post. Post originally developed the product as a batter that came from the oven as a rigid sheet, which was then broken into pieces and run through a coffee grinder to produce the "nut"-sized kernels.

The first commercial break advertises Lady Esther’s four-purpose face cream.  In these live commercials, the spokeswoman in known as Lady Esther, although she was not the actual Esther Cohen that the cosmetics line was named for. 

Bob Hope ad-libs about his “Pepsodent contract”.  Hope hosted “The Pepsodent Show” from September 1938 to June 1948. The program also featured Jerry Colonna along with Blanche Stewart and Elvia Allman as well as a continuously rotating supporting cast and musicians which included Desi Arnaz and his orchestra.

Henry tells Bill he should leave and join the Foreign Legion. Bill replies that he’ll meet him halfway by going to the library and reading Beau Geste. Beau Geste is an adventure novel by P. C. Wren, which details the adventures of three English brothers who enlist separately in the French Foreign Legion following the theft of a valuable jewel from the country house of a relative. Published in 1924, the novel has been adapted for the screen several times: 1926, 1939, and 1966. 

Henry asks Bill (Bob) if he can spell “pithecanthropus" and defines it a the missing link between man and ape. Bob (Bill) replies “C.R.O.S.B.Y”!  Bing Crosby was a singer that partnered with Hope on dozens of films, particularly their “road” films.  In April 1947, Crosby had just appeared in a cameo role in Hope’s newest film, My Favorite Brunette. By the end of 1947, The Road to Rio will be released.  Coincidentally, in the 1942 Screen Guild production, Crosby played Henry, the role taken here by Sinatra. 

Just before Vickie breaks it to Henry that she’d rather be married to Bill, Henry (or maybe it is Crosby) sings “Time After Time” (1946), a romantic ballad by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne, written for Sinatra to introduce in the 1947 film It Happened in Brooklyn, which had premiered two weeks earlier.  In return, in the very next scene, Bob Hope warbles a few notes of “Thanks for the Memory”, his signature song. 

At the end, Lucille Ball thanks the Motion Picture Relief Fund and it’s country house. In 1940, Jean Hersholt, then-president of the Motion Picture Relief Fund, found 48 acres of walnut and orange groves in the southwest end of the San Fernando Valley to build the Motion Picture Country House. The dedication was on September 27, 1942. The Motion Picture Hospital was dedicated on the grounds of the Country House in 1948.

The final commercial, once again delivered by ‘Lady Esther’ is for Lady Esther Bridal Pink Face Powder. 

‘TOO MANY’ CLOSING CREDITS

The announcer (Truman Bradley) promotes next week’s program, Stork Bites Man, starring Jackie Cooper, Anita Louise, and Gus Schilling.  

Stork Bites Man was a United Artists film that would not be released until June 1947. It also starred Cooper and Schilling. 

Columbia Pictures is credited as the producer of The Guilt of Janet Ames, starring Rosalind Russell and Melvyn Douglas. Coincidentally, Douglas starred in the film version of Too Many Husbands. 

The music was arranged and conducted by Wilbur Hatch, who also did the same for “My Favorite Husband” and “I Love Lucy.” 

Lucille Ball appeared courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of The Sea of Grass starring Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, and Robert Walker.  

Bob Hope appears through the courtesy of Pepsodent, and can currently be seen in the Paramount picture, My Favorite Brunette.

Frank Sinatra appears through the courtesy of Old Gold cigarettes, and can currently be seen in the MGM musical It Happened in Brooklyn, also starring Katharyn Grayson, Peter Walker, and Jimmy Durante.

The announcer reminds listeners that part of the country goes on Daylight Saving Time, and that the show will be heard one hour earlier.  

[elmidol]

Error: Program Not Found - Fourteen (Kind of NSFW)

Summary: You are in charge of programming the droids that work most closely with both General Hux and Kylo Ren. Unbeknownst to you, each of these two men have it in their heads that your relationship extends beyond the workplace. This causes things to escalate quickly when your two apparently secret boyfriends compare notes on their respective partner who is far too similar for their liking.

Read on AO3

Chapters Warnings: some groping/dry humping

Side Note: At the end of this chapter, on AO3 there is a question regarding potential routes for the remainder of this fic. I am personally comfortable with any of the three options I present, but do appreciate people weighing in on this particular aspect. 

“Try to be a rainbow is someone else’s cloud.” - Maya Angelou

 Fourteen: Analyses

 Spending time with the senator had proven to be a surprisingly enjoyable experience due to your being equipped with the poem and the painting as topics of discussion. His mind appeared to have wandered away from the potential TR8-0R project. The budding camaraderie also instilled in you a sense of peace regarding the man; you believed that he would not be so inclined to speak ill of the First Order or overshare on any of the other projects he had helped to finance. This was not to say that you were not mentally taxed by playing nice. His adviser being present had dissuaded you from broaching certain lines of dialogue to include information about your other project. It remained an Ace for another day, possibly during the meeting itself.

 Massaging either side of your temple with two fingers, you willed away a small headache that had formed from the prolonged conversation. General Hux would have risen from bed an hour ago, you noted, debating whether you wanted to rest a little first or pursue interaction with him now. As the saying went, there was no time like the present. On top of that, there were less chances that you would be interrupted with the majority of the other officers still asleep or else only then rising for the day.

 He was, unsurprisingly, in the community area with a datapad in hand and two others on the table. You valued working for someone with nearly identical work ethics and habits as yourself. With a small smile, you slipped onto the seat next to him. General Hux did not object to your nosiness when you glanced at the datapad that was in his hand. This particular report required minimum clearance. Your interest in the document wavered within seconds. Reminding yourself why you were there, you cleared your throat while setting your hands in your lap, one atop the other.

 “Hm?” he grunted. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, not at his mediocre acknowledgment of your presence so much as the fact that you felt like a schoolgirl. You were an adult, you had had multiple conversations with the man. Maker, you had kissed him and sexted with him. Why were you nervous now?

 I feel like I need to make a choice between them once I know, you realized. You trailed your tongue along your lips and shoved that thought to the side. Regardless, it had to be done. “I think a bigger concern is not the individual themselves but the company they keep.” Only partially cryptic on the off chance that there was surveillance.

 General Hux turned his head. You mirrored his actions, locking gazes with him. Those eyes were so deep, you noted. You could not tell if they were more green or more blue. You reached up, setting a hand on his jaw to trace your thumb along his lips. You nearly jumped though you had been the one to initiate contact. His skin was warm beneath the pad of your thumb, his breath offering moisture. Your heart hammered in your chest, in your ears. The increase in contact you had with both him and Kylo Ren, it was scrambling your ability to think. All you could do was focus on them and how it felt to kiss and touch them. To be touched by them.

 This is not why I came here, you thought despite the fact that you were even then letting your eyelids descend as General Hux leaned in closer. His nose brushed along yours though he did not kiss you. Your thumb remained on those lips, running back and forth.

 “Would you like to come to my room?” You held your breath, your eyes snapping open. Searching his face for any sign that he was teasing or would reveal his full intention of extending the invitation, you quickly learned that he was leaving that up to you. Going into his room did not have to lead to sex. It would offer you more privacy to interact with him, to kiss him if you wanted...or, yes, to have sex with him. You were not quite ready for that step, not until you knew if he was Anonymous or Unknown.

 With a hesitant nod, you rose from the seat that you had taken and lowered your arms to your side. General Hux followed suit. He gathered up his various datapads while nodding his head in the direction of his room. You turned to walk in that direction with the awareness that he would follow. The entire time, your mind was racing. Kissing him was not out of the question; stars, you wanted to kiss him now that you would be in a setting where it was less likely to be caught. Bringing up the painting could work, although since you had spoken with the senator about the poem first, that would flow more naturally into a conversation. Mentally rehearsing what you would say to steer the conversation in that direction, you stepped to the side so that he could unlock the door to his room.

 Everything was in order; you could not tell if the bed had been made by the maids or by the man himself. It was tempting to ask, however you held your tongue. Your eyes swept about the area to note where he had placed four other datapads. He was, you realized, involved in more projects that you were. Which did make sense if you stopped to think about it. You dealt with droids and programming, whereas he had to hear of those matters alongside stormtrooper and officer training, ships and weaponry, and a multitude of other matters. Each of those required a keen eye to ensure that they fit perfectly into the largest project of all, the success of the First Order.

 “The durasteel walls tighten like a cage around you,” you murmured. It had not been intentional on your part to quote the poem in that moment, yet for some reason the words flowed over you as you stood there in the room. You were not thinking of these walls, but of the ones on the Finalizer and the other ships that you had lived on while in service to the First Order. A part of you did enjoy traveling, however now being on planet, you realized that you missed it.

 General Hux closed the door after entering the room and walked over to the pile of the other datapads to stack it higher with the ones in his hands. He looked over his shoulder to consider you. “You’re interested in poetry.” A statement. You shrugged while offering a noncommittal noise. His lips pursed forward for a moment. Inwardly, you were pleased with yourself for having gained an answer before you had consciously pursued it; he was familiar with the poem to know that it was a line of poetry you had recited.

 “Are you?” you countered, ensuring that your tone was playful. He now smirked at you, openly amused by your flirting. Stars. The realization dawned on you, how comfortable you were to slip so easily into flirting. To be conscious of it. This was happening. You ran your tongue along your lips. “Do you have any favorites?”

 The pair of you walked closer to one another. Your mind began to again race, working through what you wanted. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to know if he had sent the art or the poem. You wanted him to pin you down and fuck you. You wanted to wait, afraid of the repercussions. You placed your hands on his chest and tilted back your head, letting your eyes slip closed again. This time his mouth descended upon yours in a kiss that you happily returned. His hands roamed your upper arms before skimming along your chest. You cupped his face, as though doing so solidified that this was real. His tongue danced with yours, exploring you in a way that had you clenching. You shuddered, hands diving upwards and toying with his hair.

 General Hux grabbed hold of your hips then pulled you along with him further into the room. You let him push you onto the bed and climb atop you. Wrapped your legs around him, whining into the next kiss and whimpering as he bit gently on your bottom lip. “I enjoy the poems that help me win battles.” You wrinkled your nose at that, delighted that he had answered your question and enthused over the fact that he again sought your mouth with his.

 It would be so easy to lose yourself in the moment, however you were not going to allow that skilled tongue, those wonderful lips, to make you forget that you wanted answers. “Paintings?” you asked between kisses. He grunted above you. Pulling away a fraction, General Hux skimmed his nose along yours. His eyes were searching your face. You could not tell if this was confusion; did he not know why you were bringing up paintings, or was it that he was inwardly debating how much he would reveal? You reached up to brush aside strands of hair that had fallen out of place and onto his forehead.

 “I do have an appreciation of multiple forms of art.” He was cleverly evasive when it came to potentially handing you the information you sought. Not that this was in any way surprising; as a General of the First Order, he dabbled in politics more often than you did. You rolled your eyes at him in hopes that it would cause him to budge. Instead he only smirked and kissed you. His lips pressed to your mouth, next directly next to it, along your jawline. He made a trail up towards your ear, where he whispered, “I want to see you guess.”

 “That is rather frustrating, I must say,” you huffed out though you were grinning. It was comfortable to be under him like this, more than you had thought it would be. He grunted. “Can I call you by your first name when we are alone like this?” Another grunt, this one an affirmation. “Armitage,” you said, testing how it felt in this more intimate setting and his reaction to hearing it from you. He licked his lips, his pupils momentarily widening. You could feel his entire body responding to you; his hardening cock pressing into your thigh. “I am not...exactly rejecting you, however…”

 You trailed off in part because he was already nodding, his expression conveying that he understood. This was proceeding at a faster rate than you were ready to handle due to the amount of players. On top of that, to enter a relationship with him would have an impact on your career, as well as your daily life while you worked for the First Order.

 “I never realized how comfortable I was with the two of you.” Armitage did not react to the way that Kylo Ren was brought into the conversation. No insult was taken, for which you were glad. Fingers dancing along the collar of his shirt, you found that it was easy to picture yourself stripping him. “Being safe behind the screen, talking to both of you, not knowing which account belongs to you and which belongs to him…” You moved upwards and kissed him. His mouth was hungry against yours. Armitage’s hands wandered along your body. He was emboldened by each moan and whimper that escaped your. Simultaneous to kneading your breasts, he began to rock his hips into yours. You spread your legs wider then wrapped them around his waist.

 You could feel yourself growing wet with each thrust that you met. The way his body rocked into yours had electric heat spiraling through your veins. His breath was hot against your mouth, your throat, through your shirt as he mouthed your breast. You felt his teeth, felt yourself once more clench as your arousal grew. Tears of pleasure were gathering in your eyes, and they could have spilled for a much different reason as a hard knock on the door interrupted the moment.

 Armitage pulled away from you, rising and taking a moment to gather his bearings. You ran a hand down the length of your face. Were you disappointed or thankful for the interruption? You were conflicted, experiencing both as you rose from the bed as well. You smoothed out your clothes just as General Hux walked over to the door to answer it. On the other side was a stormtrooper alongside one of the individuals that had escorted your group to the building the day before. General Hux was being summoned to help lay out a timetable for the meeting so that all elements could be discussed without interfering with any other schedules. Neither of the other two seemed to notice you standing there, and General Hux did not wave towards you to draw attention. Instead he headed out of the room. This was not out of rudeness; you appreciated his discretion and internally counted up to a few minutes so that you could exit the room with the lowest possibility of being seen by others.

 None of the other officers were out in the community area and Kylo Ren was also absent. There was a pang of disappointment in the latter until you recognized that it would have been more awkward than anything. Approaching him after having just kissed--and groped--Armitage? Your eyebrows rose and you shook your head. It was important that you gathered yourself before speaking with Kylo Ren. With this in mind, you returned to the room that you were sharing with Aelin. He was finishing the breakfast that you’d had delivered for him as you entered the room.

 “I spoke with Eddard a few minutes ago,” he said, patting his mouth with the edge of a napkin to get rid of any food that may have clung to him. Aelin gestured to the other chair, which you took while waiting for him to continue. “The TIE for Millicent is fully functioning as a bed; its conversion from one form to the other can use some work. He showed holofeed during our conversation, and if the issue is what I believe it is, that should not take much time at all.” It was rewarding to know that the project was wrapping up. The one downside, in this case, would be less interaction with Millicent. You had grown so fond of her these past weeks.

 With a nod of acknowledgment so as not to be rude, you allowed yourself a moment to dwell on that more melancholy thought. As soon as your proposal went through--you were more and more certain that it would--your focus would need to be fully on the anti-procrastination and physical therapy droids. There was also the mouse droid that was awaiting your return in your quarters. Not that you would not find a way to squeeze in some time with Millicent if the opportunity presented itself. It was more that this could not and would not be a priority any longer. You scowled at that, the feelings of conflict refusing to subside. You knew that these were rooted more deeply than just the projects. It had to do with potential relationships.

 “I have been compiling notes on what may be best for the physical therapy droid’s body.” From another, you might have worried that the individual was attempting to take lead on the project. With Aelin, though, you knew differently. There was the added fact that his tone held a more inquisitive quality, the man seeking approval. You gave a nod for him to continue. “Obviously we will want to limit how many resources are pooled into it--at least for now, though that may change--however I think your aim is to have it capable of physically assisting the individual if need be.”

 “Oh, definitely.” That was an area that you had been toying with numerous routes and had been planning to discuss the matter with Aelin. You loved that he was on top of things. “I want to know if you think synthskin would be useful for their hands.” He hummed and you could tell that he was working through some mental calculations, weighing the pros and cons of this route. You reached forward to pluck up one of the extra rolls. Nibbling, you also started to make more notes in your head that you would later work into the file you had started. These would not be necessary for the proposal, which helped you to not feel so pressured to jot them down immediately.

 The pair of you spent the better part of an hour discussing what materials would best serve the physical therapy dorids before delving into differences between them and the anti-procrastination droids. For one, synthskin would not offer much for the latter and thus would be a waste of resources and credits. It was near lunch hour that you broke away with the intention of at last approaching Kylo Ren. Discussing work had helped you to calm, clearing your head in preparation of when you were alone with him.

 Though one of the officers and a stormtrooper were in the community room, Kylo Ren was not present. You walked to his room, knocked on the door, and were thankful that he responded, that he was there. The door started to swing open as you were beginning to identify yourself. Wasting no time, you stepped inside and did not feel any surprise as it closed behind you. Kylo Ren was seated on the very end of the bed with his legs crossed. He appeared much as he had in the training room when you had first kissed. The difference here was that he wore all but his outer robes and mask.

 “You met with the senator,” he stated, his voice deep as always. It was pleasant to hear, although that was partly due to the fact that he was not your enemy. How did those who opposed him feel when they heard him speak?

 Unsure if a response was necessary, you waited a beat before saying anything at all. “I did not have to reveal the other project. I did lie a little about patents… I should have addressed that with General Hux.” Kylo Ren at last looked your way as you said the name. His expression was unreadable, yet his hands were not in fists. “I was hoping to discuss something else.” A single, slow blink. “A painting.” No reaction other than his eyes searching your face.

 These men, you inwardly growled. You stepped nearer to him. With gazes locked, a sense of understanding dawned. He knew of the painting yet was on his guard. For what reason, you wondered; it had to be something more personal. Did that mean that he had sent it to you? Or had he simply observed General Hux doing so?

 “Part of me wants to come out and ask, to be blunt.” His mouth twitched, his eyes pinching in the corners as amusement visibly flowed through him. “There were moments I thought I could tell who was who. Then I wasn’t sure anymore.” You were walking towards him without having made a conscious decision to do so. You paused inches away from the bed. How easily you could touch him if you reached out. So you did, you set your hands on either of his knees. Kylo Ren did not shy away from your touch nor reject it. “You each picked something the other would know about. Like a blind reaction. No bias from me because I don’t know the sender.” You leaned forward, your face in his. “I really, really do not like being tested.”

 “They haunt you. The poem and the painting.” It was irksome, that he found so much humor in this. You fought off the childish pout that wanted to form. Of all the things that could have been sent, art felt the most intimate to you. To blatantly ask which he had sent, he could reject you. On the other hand, if he obliged, that was equally intimate. A willingness to bare more of himself to you without the guise of a datapad screen. You stroked his legs. Gaze dropping to where your hands touched, you let yourself sigh and relax into the moment. “We became more human to you this way.” He had managed to hit the nail on the head.

 It had not been difficult to be mad at them for their mistakes or to pull yourself out of the moment before. You had felt awkward yet not exactly guilty for having kissed both of them. Now? The idea that you would have to fully reject one or the other...or both.

 “I want to hear your guess.”

 It was a kind way for him to make a demand of you. There was the option to deny him the satisfaction, at least until you were again behind a datapad screen. Kylo Ren placed his hands on your hips in a loose hold. You could shrink away from him if you had wanted, except that was the opposite of what you wanted. With a sigh, you instead leaned closer and pressed your mouth to his. The kiss was softer than any that you had shared with General Hux. It was as though Kylo Ren recognized and acknowledged how the tables were being turned, that you were now the one in a more vulnerable position.

 “You can smirk, but don’t laugh at me if I am wrong.” It was simultaneously a request and a demand. Kylo Ren instigated the next kiss, this one more forceful, more hungry. You melted against him. One of his hands went to the back of your neck while the other groped your rear. You felt your body responding to him, to his touches, to his hot mouth. With a shudder, you climbed into his lap then let him roll you onto your back.

 “Tell me.” That deep voice dropping to a whisper. You nodded without immediately obeying. His mouth was at your throat. Teeth and lips and tongue all assaulting you. “Which one?”

 “From you?” you asked. A deep inhalation and widened eyes. He had slipped a hand up into your shirt to toy with your nipple, rolling it with two fingers. “Uhm… I had debated the poem because Force users were always said to study a lot, to read and write.” Another nip at your throat before he began to suck at the captured flesh. You curled your toes and swallowed thickly. “Er… The painting, though…” Trembling, you closed your eyes and licked your lips. Allowed yourself a second to drown in the sensation of his mouth claiming you. “The eyes stuck out to me as being something from you. The way you’re so closed off with what you wear like the woman in the painting. Trying to figure out if she is life or death. It reminds me of your role in the First Order.” A sigh from you as he paused in his kisses. “That’s when the poem felt like General Hux. The durasteel walls of the machines, the bases he’s on. Arkanis doesn’t necessarily have green like Naboo, but it’s different. And it felt more like something internal. Closing himself off to others. This sounds so stupid, Maker.” You placed both of your hands over your face, hiding it. “Are you going to tell me if I’m right or wrong?” you asked after a delay. Lowering your hands, you looked down at him and discovered that he was watching you. Once more his expression was unreadable, the man on his guard.

 Kriff...was I wrong? Worse still… If I got it wrong, is he insulted?

 You sucked your lips into your mouth and waited for him to say something, anything at all.

[wonderofasunrise]

Somewhere There’s Smoke

TW // death, grief, COVID-19

“You can stop. She’s gone.”

That particular line of dialogue from ER has been ringing in my ears the past couple of days, more vividly than I’d like it to be. To be fair, I have been playing it in my head on repeat like a mantra, and though it does not at all cure the pain I’m currently in it does help me handle it and come to terms with my way of thinking amid the events of this week.

Last Friday (December 18, 2020) I lost someone very dear to me to COVID-19. I can’t say I didn’t see that coming, given that from the moment I was told they were intubating her I realised the chance of any meaningful recovery was next to none. Of course, for a brief time I tried to tell everyone that it was just a precaution - in a futile attempt to be brave and strong enough for me and everyone else - but deep down I knew it was the beginning of the end. I just didn’t have the heart to say it out loud.

And so began my journey of grief, and I like to think I was lucky enough to have skipped denial altogether. My anger, however, was powerful. I was angry at everything and everyone. At the concept of God and faith everyone around me seemed to rely on. At people who, whether they realise it or not, made this possible with their incompetence. At the world in general for being pure and utter crap this year. I was angry. I had no means of letting it out properly, so I cried and cried. I cried and yelled to anyone who would listen. I decidedly stopped praying because it did not do shit. It was useless, and no longer was I able to comfort even just myself with that.

Every hour there was phone call, and one in particular was so distressing my phone slipped out of my hand. I was alone in my room, and I broke down. My anger did not dissipate at all as I started bargaining. I felt like a total fool, but my tears kept raining down while I said to whatever/whoever was supposed to listen, “If you really are there, why are you doing this to us? She’s a good person, she doesn’t deserve any of this. She is faithful and devoted, and she does a lot of good things in your name. But still you are doing this to her, to us, and for what?”

I said it in my first language (not English), as informally as possible because at that point my respect to the concept of an all-knowing, all-understanding higher being had disappeared.

Not long afterwards the end got even nearer. Those who were with her bid their goodbyes, and those who were far - myself included - prepared to help in every way possible. Then I prayed, perhaps for the last time in a long while,

If this is really happening, please make it quick. Spare her from any more pain.

Minutes later I received another phone call, and the silence at the other end explained everything. Not a word needed to be said; everything was conveyed the way it was meant to. As quietly and clearly as possible.

She was gone.

I wasn’t there, so I have no idea how it must’ve been like, but I like to think it did happen quickly. Of course, it couldn’t have been completely hassle-free, as she was on a ventilator and a bunch of other medical equipment, but I like to think it wasn’t any more painful than it would’ve already been.

Nevertheless, it destroyed me. I managed to keep it together just enough to break the news to some people in the same manner as it was told to me - with as little words as possible - and after that I did nothing but cry hard. I could hardly say anything without breaking down.

I tried to comfort everyone - even more so than myself - with the little that I could say. That it’s okay to cry, that I love them so much and will always be there for them, that we have to be brave and strong together.

Seeing how everyone reacted, I told myself that I had to be brave and strong enough for everyone. And I’m trying, I really am. It doesn’t get any easier, but it has to be done. I don’t know how I can find the strength, but I’ll find it.

Perhaps in an attempt to rationalise my last prayer I found myself playing that ER episode, “Where There’s Smoke”, on repeat in my head. I wanted to convince myself that what I prayed for did not come out of heartlessness. It came from a place of love, out of the desire to have the person I loved dearly spared from any more pain. This was where Kerry’s voice, as she witnesses Sandy’s last moments on that operating table, came in.

You can stop. She’s gone.

That line says it all. There is no doubting her love for Sandy, and her desire to spare her beloved from more pain is what gives her the strength and ability to let go.

Understandably, letting go is not a lot of people are capable of doing easily even when needs must, especially in the culture I was raised in, but over time I learned that at times it is the only choice. It will never be easy, but it’s the right choice to make. For me, it all came together last Friday, a few hours after I received that fateful phone call, when the sun set and I saw the sky from where I was sitting. It was beautiful - probably the prettiest I had seen in a long time. The sun going down coloured the sky orange, and the clouds were drifting apart as if making way for the stars.

Immediately I thought, “This is a good day to let someone go, isn’t it?”

I can’t share a photo, but I assure you it was breathtaking. We don’t get pretty skies often in this part of the world, so that was quite an extraordinary thing to see. I recorded it in a poem, the most painful I have written so far (but also one of the quickest), and at the risk of compromising my anonymity on this platform I have decided to include the first stanza:

The clouds drift apart As you walk through the wind Be still my heart Let go of my hand behind

I have to say, all these months I’ve been spending watching ER help me rationalise my grieving process, understand that everything happened through a lengthy process and was not as sudden as it seemed, and be prepared to face whatever that may get thrown my way in the light of this. And that episode in particular has played a key role in helping me get through all this without feeling any more guilty than I already am.

I’m currently at somewhere between depression and (full) acceptance, and I already know it’s a fucking long journey. I don’t think I’m anywhere near the end, to be honest; I barely got any sleep last night and my whole body ached. I might even have to use my cane again at some point because my bad leg has been acting up. I’m trying on different ways to cope - some wise and some not quite so. I take sedatives - more liberally than I usually do. I spent one whole afternoon drinking, hoping for a quick and easy fix for the pain. I cry when I feel like it. I write. Some of the things I’ve been doing seem self-destroying, but I fancy myself as having decent self-control and knowing when to stop. Naturally I’ve been trying to rationalise what I’ve been doing, though I don’t think I care whether it’s feeble or not.

I understand that this is uncomfortable to read, and I expect a lot of people to not make it this far. But if you do, all I can say here is that these are scary times, and the danger is very real - though it might not seem so until someone close to you is affected - so please take good care of yourself and your loved ones. Talk to them. Reach out to them. Help them if they need it. Tell them you love them as often as possible.

While you still can.

[intransigent-boy]

My Top Ten Films of The Decade.

10. Her

Okay, so whether you like it or not, this movie is about the present. This movie tells a very powerful story with an embarrasingly personal narrative. You feel sorry for the main character, it makes you so uncomfortable. And the reason is, because we are all in some sense are like this guy, Theodore. We have better relationships online, and with our advices, than with real people. It’s a really bizarre conception, but we should face it, and ask ourselves: Where is the limit?  The script is just brilliant, but also has very controversial scenes. Joaquin Phoenix is simply the perfect choice for a lonely man, like Theodore. Melancholy everywhere, and great visuals. Arcade Fire made the music for this, and it was pure melancholy. Very interesting film.

9. The Place Beyond The Pines

Derek Cianfrance is an exceptional director. He can wonderfully create an atmosphere with great lighting techiques, unique musics, and of course with talented actors. This movie has a linear, but quite unusual story-structure. The main theme haunts you after you watched this. Legacy! 

8. Nightcrawler

Louis Bloom is something of a loner who is unemployed and ekes out a living stealing and then reselling copper wire, fencing and most anything else he can get his hands on. When late one night he comes across an accident being filmed by independent news photographer Joe Loder, he thinks he may have found something he would be good at. He acquires an inexpensive video camera and a police scanner and is soon spending his nights racing to accidents, robberies and fire scenes. He develops a working relationship with Nina Romina, news director for a local LA TV station. As the quality of his video footage improves so does his remuneration and he hires Rick, young and unemployed, to work with him. The more successful he becomes however, the more apparent it becomes that Louis will do anything - anything - to get visuals from crime scenes. The conception is just brilliant, and screams to your face, what kind of society are we living in. I think Psychopathy is going to be one of the biggest issue in our generation asides with mental illneses. And this movie reflects perfectly. You understand the character, which is geniusly performed by Jake Gyllenhaal. 

7. Inside Llewyn Davis

The Coen brothers' exquisitely sad and funny new comedy is set in a world of music that somehow combines childlike innocence with an aged and exhausted acceptance of the world. It is a beguilingly studied period piece from America's early-60s Greenwich Village folk scene. Every frame looks like a classic album cover, or at the very least a great inner gatefold – these are screen images that look as if they should have lyrics and sleeve notes superimposed. This film was notably passed over for Oscar nominations. Perhaps there's something in its unfashionable melancholy that didn't hook the attention of Academy award voters. But it is as pungent and powerfully distinctive as a cup of hot black coffee. This movie is about sacrificing everything for your art, directionlessness  (is there such a word?) , and finding the right path. Existential theme, with surpisingly good acting from Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, and Justin Timberlake. This is an Odyssey-story from the 1960′s America. What more you could ask for? 

6. Dunkirk

Reinventing a genre is quite exceptional. And Nolan did it. The best war movies of the last 20 years, including Saving Private Ryan and Hacksaw Ridge, have also placed viewers in the centre of battle. Nolan has not reinvented that immersive approach, but he comes close to perfecting it. The story structure is-again- brilliant. There’s no main character in the movie-just like in a war-but only  scared people. They want to go home. But they can’t. We’re with them with their struggle, and fears. We’re in the air, land, or water, it’s just a haunting terror.  And the soundtrack from Hans Zimmer is really remarkable. You hear it, and you recognize the movie. That’s what I call a score. Reflects perfectly, and holds the attention throughout the whole movie.

5. Hell or High Water

Another genre-twister masterpiece. This Neo-Western is just pure art. Hell or High Water is a film about a criminal  who commits the ultimate offence of putting his gorgeous and much nicer brother in a ski mask for several minutes of this film. Okay actually it’s about a career criminal brother and his he-wasn’t-but-he-is-now criminal brother who team up to commit a series of small-scale bank robberies across Texas, with the aim, finally – after several generations – of lifting the family out of seemingly inescapable grinding poverty. The part of Texas they live in is dying on its feet so career criminal is pretty much the only career left open that doesn’t involve serving in a diner or herding the few remaining cattle. It would’ve been easy for Hell or High Water to to turn out a cliche-ridden double bromance as there are quite a few movie tropes in this love story / revenge thriller, so it’s a tribute to director David Mackenzie that it’s actually a very touching, at times funny, at times quite brutal story. With a bit of grudge-bearing thrown in at the end to stop it being too redemptive. Memorable scenes, great acting, and a deromanticized western-feeling. After this film, you want to live in Texas, where everything’s slower, but sometimes you can chase criminals. It’s nice, isn’t it? 

4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Martin McDonagh’s fiercely written, stabbingly pleasurable tragicomedy stars a magnificent Frances McDormand; watching it is like having your funny bone struck repeatedly, expertly and very much too hard by a karate super-black-belt capable of bringing a rhino to its knees with a single punch behind the ear. He’s a scriptwriter genius, it was shocking, how perfectly the dialouges and the actions were constructed. It is a film about vengeance, violence and the acceptance of death, combining subtlety and unsubtlety, and moreover wrongfooting you as to what and whom it is centrally about. The drama happens in a town with an insidiously pessimistic name – Ebbing, Missouri, a remote and fictional community in the southern United States, where the joy of life does seem to be receding. There is a recurrent keynote of elegiac sadness established by the Irish ballad The Last Rose of Summer and Townes Van Zandt’s country hit Buckskin Stallion Blues, a musical combination which bridges the Ireland which McDonagh has written about before and the America he conjures up here, an America which has something of the Coen Brothers. The resemblance is not simply down to McDormand, though she does give her best performance since her starring role as the pregnant Minnesota police chief in the Coens’ Fargo in 1996. It was brutal, controversial, and violent. 

3. Midnight in Paris

The definitive poem in English on the subject of cultural nostalgia may be a short verse by Robert Browning called “Memorabilia.” The past seems so much more vivid, more substantial, than the present, and then it evaporates with the cold touch of reality. The good old days are so alluring because we were not around, however much we wish we were. “Midnight in Paris,” Woody Allen’s charming film, imagines what would happen if that wish came true. It is marvelously romantic, even though — or precisely because — it acknowledges the disappointment that shadows every genuine expression of romanticism. The film has the inspired silliness of some of Mr. Allen’s classic comic sketches (most obviously, “A Twenties Memory,” in which the narrator’s nose is repeatedly broken by Ernest Hemingway), spiked with the rueful fatalism that has characterized so much of his later work. Nothing here is exactly new, but why would you expect otherwise in a film so pointedly suspicious of novelty? Very little is stale, either, and Mr. Allen has gracefully evaded the trap built by his grouchy admirers and unkind critics — I’m not alone in fitting both descriptions — who complain when he repeats himself and also when he experiments. Not for the first time, but for the first time in a while, he has found a credible blend of whimsy and wisdom.

2. Beautiful Boy 

This supersensitive and tasteful movie is all but insufferable, suppressing a sob at the tragedy of drug addiction afflicting someone so young and “beautiful”. It is based on what is effectively a matching set of memoirs: Beautiful Boy, by author and journalist David Sheff, his harrowing account of trying to help his son Nic battle crystal meth addiction, and Tweak – by Nic Sheff himself, about these same experiences, the author now, thankfully, eight years clean. Steve Carell does an honest, well-meaning job in the role of David and the egregiously beautiful Timothée Chalamet is earnest in the part of Nic, David’s son from his first marriage. This is like a modern-day Basketball Diaries. Honest, and Raw. Most underrated movie of the 2010′s, with an unquestionably important topic. 

1. The Social Network

Before Sorkin wrote the screenplay, Ben Mezrich wrote the book based on Mark Zuckerberg and the founding of Facebook titled: The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook, A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal. It was published in July 2009, and most of the information came from Facebook “co-founder” Eduardo Saverin, who in the film is played by Andrew Garfield. The screenplay that Sorkin wrote was blazing, he wrote the characters like they were in a William Shakespeare play, with a story full of lies, jealousy, and betrayal. I especially love how Sorkin balanced the story between 2003, 2004, and then 2010. It goes back and forth between the past when Facebook was just an idea for Mark, and in the current day when he is being sued by Cameron & Tyler Winklevoss for, in their minds, having stolen their original idea, and by his former best friend Eduardo for having him pushed out of the company. In fact, some of the very best dialogue (and the film is full of great quotes) happens during the deposition scenes. Well-recognizable, rapid-fire dialouges, wonderful directing, with Trent Reznor’s greatest soundtrack. The movie’s probably going to outlive the Facebook itself, and that’s just great. 

[entwinedmoon]

John Torrington: Redshirt

(Previous posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

“I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove the situation is serious.”

–Guy Fleegman, Galaxy Quest

After the exhumations of Torrington, Hartnell, and Braine, and the subsequent publication of Frozen in Time, there was a fresh wave of literature inspired by the photographs and findings from Beechey Island. Novels, short stories, and poems either attempted to recreate what had happened to the expedition according to the latest findings or incorporated this new information in some other way. Some feature Torrington, while some just use certain aspects of the findings, such as the remarkable level of preservation or the lead poisoning theory.

I have read only a handful of the many literary works about the Franklin Expedition that have been published since the exhumations on Beechey Island, so I can’t speak for every novel, poem, or other form of literary composition that has come out since then. For the purposes of this post I decided to focus only on works that feature Torrington himself, and even then, I haven’t had a chance to read every work that does. There may be some that have a completely different take on the story and depict Torrington in a way not seen in the works that I will be discussing, but those will have to wait for another day. For this post I can only focus on the fraction of Franklin-related literature that I have been able to read so far, and if I leave out something that people think is a must-read, I apologize. But feel free to let me know what it is, because I love reading new interpretations of the expedition’s story.

(Unless you’re here to tell me about the Marvel comics character Pestilence, a supervillain who is actually Francis Crozier, preserved in ice for over a hundred years. He’s still alive but he’s gone mad and has magic for some reason. And he can possess other people. Pestilence was first introduced in 1986, and yes, him being frozen in ice was obviously inspired by the exhumation of Torrington. Now, let’s never speak of this again.)

I’m going to start with the various novels that have attempted to tell the story of the Franklin Expedition. FYI, there will be some spoilers, but mostly the spoilers will be about Torrington and other crewmembers dying, which shouldn’t really be a spoiler at this point.

Before I get into the specific books, though, I’ve noticed that there are certain themes in many of these stories, particularly involving Torrington. As his illness and death is a known point during the timeline of the expedition, he inevitably gets a mention in many of these works, but since he died so early in the expedition, he rarely has a major role in the overall story. Not only that, Torrington’s characterization is typically absent altogether. He’s generally depicted as a variant of the Victorian waif—pale and thin and doomed to die—and rarely does he get any dialogue or development. He’s first blood, a harbinger of things to come, but almost never a character on his own. He’s simply there to die, like a redshirt in Star Trek.

I have often flipped through books to see where Torrington comes in, wondering if he’ll be given something to do before he passes, and more often than not I have been disappointed. His death is always included because we know he died, and if it were left out it could be seen as callous at worst or inaccurate at best, yet his inclusion sometimes feels more like the author simply checking something off a checklist. Enters Lancaster Sound, check; winters at Beechey Island, check; Torrington dies, check. Sometimes there might be a funeral, where the main characters speak of Torrington as if he’s been there the entire time and wasn’t just first mentioned only two paragraphs ago, perhaps with Franklin orating the first of many eulogies (“We have lost one of our own today, a fine sailor named John [looks at smudged writing on his hand] Turlington…”).

But one thing that Torrington usually gets is a brief mention of his burial clothes. Since we know what he looks like in death, there’s often a description of him in his coffin, perhaps a mention of his youth, small stature, and wasted appearance. His illness usually gets a mention too—and sometimes he gets berated postmortem for going to sea while sick.

Of course, since Torrington dies only seven months into the expedition, it’s not surprising that he doesn’t have much to do in most stories, but I do wish he could at least have a little more of a role before taking his final bow. It would make his death more meaningful if he was a known character and not just a name in a long list of people who are about to die.

For a deeper dive into how Torrington is typically depicted in novels about the Franklin Expedition, I’m going to start with the most mainstream of the books I’ve read—and also the most inaccurate. That would be The Terror by Dan Simmons, a story that posits what if, rather than starvation, scurvy, illness, and lead poisoning killing off the crew, there was also an evil magical bear bent on their destruction. The book was recently adapted into a television series on AMC, and I watched the show first. I loved the show—it was very well done, despite the evil bear—so I read the book. The book…well, it had some good parts to it, but also some incredibly ridiculous parts and some incredibly offensives ones too. I won’t get into a full review of the book, though—I’m just here for Torrington.

Torrington doesn’t get mentioned until his death in The Terror. In fact, the sentence introducing him is “John Torrington, stoker on HMS Terror, died early this morning.” His slow decline from consumption is described, while also saying that he had obviously been in the advanced stages of the disease when he signed up for the expedition. There’s an aside about how ironic it is that Torrington’s doctor had told him going to sea would be good for his health, something that isn’t based on a known fact about Torrington, but getting away from Manchester and into fresh air may have been part of Torrington’s intent when signing up. Judging by the state of his lungs, he probably had difficulty breathing in the thick smoke of industrial Manchester, so it’s not so far-fetched to think he may have wanted a change of scenery to improve his health.

The dressing of his body for burial, descriptions of the clothes and bindings we know so well from the exhumation pictures, and a brief recap of his funeral get described in just a few pages. The image of him in his striped shirt sticks out in the memory of Dr. Goodsir (who is writing this down in his diary), an image that anyone who is familiar with the Franklin Expedition would know very well. But that’s about it for Torrington in this book. His name does pop up a few more times, though, because Captain Crozier has a habit of going over the names of the dead to himself, assessing how many men he has lost at different points throughout the book. Torrington as part of a list of the dead is mostly how we see him in The Terror.

In the TV adaptation, Torrington doesn’t appear at all, because the show picks up after the ships have left Beechey. The men who died at Beechey are mentioned a few times, usually as a group—referred to as “the men on Beechey” or some variation of that—with only John Hartnell being mentioned by name. Torrington, however, does get a visual sort of reference when one of the ship’s boys, David Young, dies in the first episode. During his burial, his coffin accidentally comes open, and his burial clothes look very reminiscent of the famous photos of Torrington.

Alfie Kingsnorth, the actor who plays David Young, looks a lot like Torrington, making this image extra eerie. In fact, I started watching the show because I saw a screencap of the burial and thought it was Torrington. When I realized that Torrington wasn’t in the show, I was disappointed, but I ended up loving the show anyway.

The next book I want to discuss is a novel that tried to do what The Terror did but without the monster. Robert Edric’s book The Broken Lands tells the story of the Franklin Expedition from the point of view of Commander James Fitzjames of the Erebus, third-in-command of the expedition. Fitzjames seems to be a popular point-of-view character since another book I’ll be discussing in this post is also from his perspective. Fitzjames is an interesting historical person, particularly if you’ve read Battersby’s biography of him, although that was published long after The Broken Lands came out. Being from Fitzjames’s point of view, however, means that the story focuses mostly on what happens on Erebus, which means Torrington, leading stoker on Terror, wouldn’t have had much of a role no matter what.

At least in this book Torrington does get mentioned before his death, but only just. When the ships are wintering on Beechey, it’s mentioned that two men become ill, Torrington and John Hartnell. Since Hartnell died only a few days after Torrington, they would have been ill around the same time. However, rather than showing signs of tuberculosis followed by pneumonia as the killing blow, Torrington and Hartnell suffer symptoms that get mistaken for scurvy but then are assumed to be some form of food poisoning. Torrington dies while Terror’s doctor, John Peddie, sits with him, but there’s not much to the scene. He and Hartnell get buried on the same day after a snowstorm delays their burials. Hartnell gets more attention here because of his autopsy, and there’s no mention of striped shirts and bound limbs.

But that’s not the last we hear of them. In the next chapter, it’s discovered that some crewmembers had been pilfering from the canned food supply. William Braine gets flogged for his part in the scheme, and he starts showing symptoms similar to Torrington and Hartnell. Braine then confesses that Torrington and Hartnell had also been involved in stealing canned foods, and the doctors jump to the conclusion that the canning procedure must be responsible for the illness and deaths of these three men. So instead of going with the known causes of death of tuberculosis and pneumonia, in this version of the story the Beechey Boys die of lead poisoning and only lead poisoning. That bothers me not only because it completely ignores the actual cause of death, but because it makes Torrington, Hartnell, and Braine criminals, stealing food from the ship’s stores. I guess this was Edric’s attempt at explaining why these three men had such high levels of lead so early on in the expedition, but this explanation doesn’t work for me because it ignores a lot of other things in a struggle to make certain puzzle pieces fit. I admit, I got a little overprotective when I saw Torrington being accused of something like this and started ranting about it to my sister—despite the fact that I have no idea what sort of person he was actually like, and he’s been dead for over hundred seventy years, so he doesn’t really need me to protect him from purely fictional accusations. But still…

The other novel from Fitzjames’s perspective is North with Franklin by John Wilson. This is set up as a lost journal written by Fitzjames, using some of the known letters and journals written by the real life Fitzjames as a jumping off point. In these fictional journal entries, there’s a mention of a man in sickbay with signs of consumption in August, and there’s an aside wondering why he didn’t inform anyone about his illness prior to setting sail. However, since this is the sickbay on Erebus, this must be a reference to Hartnell, not Torrington. But it’s a hint at what’s to come for both of them. An update on the consumptive man in November confirms that it’s Hartnell, his condition getting worse, and then it’s mentioned that the leading stoker on Terror is suffering the same. Again, Fitzjames wonders why Hartnell and Torrington didn’t mention their condition before setting sail, calling their weakened lungs a “death warrant” in the Arctic. There’s another update in late December about their worsening condition, until they both succumb. Out of the three books discussed so far, this is the most that Torrington has been mentioned pre-death, but he says not a single word.

Torrington’s death, taking place on New Year’s Day, brings down the happy celebrations of the crew. Again, it’s mentioned that Torrington should never have undertaken the journey with his illness, as if it hasn’t been driven home enough that he and Hartnell had probably been showing symptoms when they first boarded and should have reported it. Torrington’s burial clothes get an overview, with his short, emaciated appearance being compared to that of a child. He gets a funeral, with Franklin presiding.

The repeated mentions of how Torrington and Hartnell should have declared their illnesses before sailing on the expedition almost comes off as blaming them for their early demise. Realistically, of course, they probably had noticed some early symptoms before leaving England. But how bad were those symptoms? Were they enough to make them think they had a disease that would prove fatal? Did they realize that they wouldn’t be coming back, or did they shrug it off as just another cough? Torrington had bad lungs anyway, so maybe he didn’t notice when his black-lung-coughing changed into tuberculosis-coughing.

John Wilson wrote another book about the Franklin Expedition, this one for young adults, called Graves of Ice. This book is from the point of view of one of the ship’s boys, George Chambers. Chambers was assigned to the Erebus, so the main action happens on that ship once again, which means Torrington barely appears. Again. William Braine, however, befriends Chambers and gets far more dialogue and development than Torrington or Hartnell in any of the previous books—or this one—combined. Braine actually gets to defend his actions by saying his lungs had always been weak, and he thought the cold might do them good, explaining why he didn’t bother declaring any illness before setting sail. In real life, Torrington probably felt the same way, but he doesn’t get to stand up for himself here. In a prime example of dramatic irony, Braine calls Torrington an idiot for signing up while sick.

Torrington and his illness get mentioned the same day he dies, just shortly before Dr. Peddie informs Franklin of Torrington’s passing. His death gets called a bad omen among the crew. His burial gets a brief mention, but there’s no lingering on the image of his body in its coffin, or any mention of it even. He has no lines once again, nor does George Chambers ever meet him. At least one crewman admits that there are many men on board with lungs as bad as Torrington, as if to soften the accusation that Torrington should have known better, but it doesn’t soften it by much.

In all four of these books Torrington has had zero lines of dialogue. He gets sick, he dies. That’s it. There’s another book, a self-published one that came out this year, that I had hoped may do better by him. That would be Toward No Earthly Pole by Jonathan Schaeffer, which is from the point of view of James Thompson, the engineer on Terror. Being the engineer, Thompson would have interacted with Torrington a great deal, so I’d hoped I would get to see Torrington fleshed out more as a real character, but sadly that was not to be. Torrington does get mentioned more before his death than in other books, but it’s mostly in superficial interactions where anyone could have stood in instead, such as Torrington pointing out a polar bear.

Near the beginning of the story, Thompson gives a rundown of each stoker, giving Torrington a less-than-stellar description as a weakling, saying that, “He comes across as an old man resigned to his lot in life.” But Thompson does remark that Torrington is handsome, which isn’t really that important, but it is mentioned multiple times in the text. I guess the point was to emphasize that Torrington was cut down in the prime of his young, handsome life, but it comes off as a little awkward.

Torrington apparently has no friends in this interpretation of the story, and only Thompson seems to visit him when he gets sick. The day before he dies, Torrington, in a delirium, says some incomprehensible sentences, ending on an ominous “…do not belong here,” a phrase that Thompson initially interprets as meaning that Torrington realized he didn’t belong there, but that over the course of the expedition Thompson comes to think means the entire expedition didn’t belong there. Torrington gets the usual drawn-out illness coverage, unsurprising death, and a mention of his burial. He also becomes an omen that gets mentioned again as the situation grows worse. Even though Thompson would have been one of the crewmembers to interact with Torrington the most, Torrington still doesn’t get much development as a character.

However, there is one retelling of the Franklin Expedition that gives Torrington quite a bit of development. That would be Kristina Gehrmann’s graphic novel Im Eisland (or Icebound in the English version). I previously discussed Im Eisland in my last post about Torrington in art, but now I’d like to focus on the writing rather than the artwork. Torrington is actually introduced as if he’s going to be a major protagonist of the story, and for a time he does play a large role. We get a glimpse of a sweet little romance between him and his fiancée (we don’t know if Torrington was engaged to anyone, but there’s no evidence that he wasn’t either), and he develops a warm friendship with Thomas Evans, one of the ship’s boys, whom he teaches to read. Torrington comes alive as a real person here, and while yes, he does inevitably become too ill to work and dies, as he did in real life, he’s much more than just the first victim of a tragedy. If you’re looking for some good Torrington fiction, Im Eisland is an excellent choice.

But not all Torrington-related literature is a retelling of the expedition. There is a famous story by Margaret Atwood, “The Age of Lead,” which appears in her short story collection Wilderness Tips. I should say upfront that this story is not about Torrington himself. Atwood described her use of him as that of an extended metaphor, as his death is juxtaposed with that of another character’s in the story. But the story still delves into the pathos around Torrington’s death. In mourning for her friend, Jane, the protagonist, mourns for Torrington in a way too. As Jane remembers sitting with her dying friend, she ponders about who may have sat with Torrington in his final days. His half-open eyes are described as “the light brown of milky tea,” and they look back at Jane as she watches a program about him on television. It’s a touching story that asks some emotional questions about Torrington’s death—did he have anyone to comfort him as he passed, so far from home? Did anyone on the ship mourn him, love him? The story might not be about Torrington in the end, but he makes for a powerful centerpiece, and this story treats his humanity as far more present than many of the novels discussed above.

The last piece of literature I’d like to discuss is “Envying Owen Beattie” by Sheenagh Pugh. In a poem that gives Seamus Heaney a run for his money, Pugh lovingly describes the exhumation of Torrington’s mummified body. She compares Torrington to Snow White by describing his being cocooned in ice as “asleep in his glass case.” The reason she envies Owen Beattie is because of an anecdote Beattie had once told that Pugh recounts here, of how when Beattie lifted Torrington out of his coffin, Torrington’s head lolled onto Beattie’s shoulder, and they stared eye-to-eye at each other, Beattie holding his frail, limp body. This leads Pugh to conclude her fairy tale metaphor by saying “how could you not try to wake him with a kiss?” I have to admit that if I had been in Beattie’s place, I probably would have dropped the body, but Pugh romanticizes the moment instead.

While many of the novels that I’ve described above treat Torrington as just another milestone to get through in the story, Pugh brings far more emotion and love to his depiction in so few words. Torrington looks so very much alive, like a princess under a sleeping spell, so why can’t a kiss break that spell and bring him into the present? A sweet sentiment tinged with the sadness that we know he can’t be awakened by a kiss, because it’s no spell that’s put him asleep. He’s too far beyond fairy tale dreams to come back. The tragedy of Torrington’s death gets swallowed by the larger tragedy of the Franklin Expedition’s demise in the full-length novels, but in shorter pieces such as Pugh’s poem and Atwood’s short story, Torrington’s death is given greater thought and respect. Torrington, after all, was no redshirt on Star Trek but a human being. He wasn’t just a name, a check on a checklist, but a man who suffered and died at too young an age. But the tragedy of the individual is easily lost among the tragedy of the group.

Next: My final post, a personal reflection as I ponder just what fascinates us about him after all these years.

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Torrington Series Masterlist

[bri-borg]

stars of lovingness in her hair

A/N: heeeyyyy it’s part two. This features very bad French, from me, a person who was supposed to be certified fluent in it in high school, and only used google translate to double check myself, which I do not reccomend—so I take full responsibility of the shittiness of the French dialogue. Also the poem I keep using is À une passante by Baudelaire, which I have attached here right after the translations. Also this wasn’t beta’d and was edited by me, a tired person.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, some suggestive dialogue, metions of anxiety, general repression of feelings

read part one here :)

chapter summary: a few months have passed since you met Brian, and the two of you have become rather good friends. Halfway the focus of the story shifts more toward’s Brian’s perspective, and focuses on his feelings and how he deals with them. This jumps back and forth from the current timeline to a few months prior.

——————————————————————————————-

friday night

It had been a few months since you’d become friends with Brian. The two of you had become rather inseparable since you met, at first, spending Tuesday and Thursday nights together—you tutoring him in French, and him helping you out with algebra. You felt as though you had known each other all your lives and quickly found a friendship form between the two of you. Even after you’d finish your lessons you’d stay at his flat a little longer, with him making you tea of playing you a new song he’d written about a polar bear on his guitar or god know’s what. There was just something about Brian, you thought, that spoke to you, beyond the music and the intelligence. You enjoyed one another’s company. On more than one occasion you’d ended up dozing off, with your head resting gently on Brian’s shoulder, and his head leaning against yours while Doctor Who played on the telly—which had raised eyebrows from many people, most of all Brian’s roommate, but you were friends, you thought, nothing more.

Now, he’s sat on the floor of his flat, your knees on either side of him, his notebook facing open on his lap, illegible scribbles of verb conjugations and other grammatical rules written across the pages as he sat with his legs crossed. 

“I wish you’d keep your curls,” you say as you run a brush through Brian’s hair, trying your best to be gentle and not tug so hard, your fingers delicate as they undo any tangles and knots you found. By the coffee table lay the hair straightener, as you waited patiently for it to heat up, its thick black cord uncoiled and plugged to a nearby outlet. You’d volunteered to do Brian’s hair, before tonight’s gig—seeing as he almost burnt his flat down the last time he’d tried to straighten his hair. Brian, being Brian, had found an excuse to squeeze in an extra study session, although it took some convincing on your part.

“I don’t,” Brian laughs, “wish my hair looked good—I look like I’ve just gotten electrocuted half the time! I’m gangly, awkward and I’ve got a huge nose—the straight hair redeems me, I think—makes me look halfway decent.” 

Your heart sinks a bit as you hear him talk about himself like this. You couldn’t bear hearing him think so little of himself when you thought the world of him.

“Well, I like them,” you say, with a pout, gently kicking Brian in the thigh with your foot.

“Ow!” Brian protests with mock indignation.

“Oh, piss off that didn’t even hurt,” you chuckle, before reaching over and grabbing the hair straightener. “Now hold still, alright?” Brian nods, turning his head away from you, trying to focus on his notes. “Right, allons-y! Pouvez-vous me lire? Je veux entendrer.”

Brian shifts nervously in place. “Oh, now? I thought we were only doing grammar today. Y/N, ’m afraid I haven’t had practice in a bit, but I promise—“

“Pouvez vous, parler en Français, s’il vous plait.“ You interrupt, casing your eyebrows at him rather sternly when he turns to look at you. “And stay still,” you add, “I don’t want to burn you.”

Brian laughs at that, pointing out how it’s unfair that you spoke in English just now, before you set him on track and tell him to just get on with the reading.

“Qu'est ce que voulez-vous que je lire?” Brian asks.

“Tu peux décider. Je n’ai pas de préférence.”

Brian holds his finger up for a moment telling you to pause the damage on his hair for a bit, before reaching over to his bag and pulling out a collection of Baudelaire’s poems—and you smile to yourself knowing he probably took it out of the library when he saw you reading it. He starts, slowly reading the words at first, but relaxes as you place your hand on his shoulders and urge him to continue.

“Un éclair… puis la nuit! — Fugitive beauté 

Dont le regard m'a fait soudainement renaître,

Ne te verrai-je plus que dans l'éternité?—how was that?” Brian tries to turn his face towards yours though you keep him in place, taking a moment as you finishing straightening a strand before you speak again. 

“Très bien, Baudelaire aurait été fier!,” you praise, giving his head a gentle pat. “Although you still drop the accent egout on some places, but you’re getting there. You can speak French, you’ve just got to be a bit more confident, Bri. Maintenant, continuez s’il vous plait.”

He continues, reading out verses, with you listening intently, at first hesitant of any mistakes he might make, but relaxing as you tell him he’s doing better, helping him out only with a few words here and there. Eventually the two of you stop, choosing instead to listen and sing along to the Sgt. Pepper record while you finish straightening his hair. But that eventually spins its way to its end, and you and Brian, too preoccupied with his hair to get up and flip it over, just sit there quietly, and comfortably enjoying each other’s presence. 

—————————

Brian’s POV

As he sat there, feeling Y/N run her fingers delicately through his hair, Brian couldn’t help but sink into the warmth of her touch, feeling how relaxed he was around her—with her—near her. He listened to the static of the record, and the gentle pattern of Y/N’s breathing. Brian opened his mouth and turned his head slightly, as if to speak, before quickly turning away, choosing to say nothing, instead.

“What was that?” He heard Y/N ask him, straightening her back up off the couch and leaning her body towards him.

“Nothing,” Brian reassured her, his hand gently reaching for her knee for a brief moment. He said nothing more to her and instead let the silence take over, as the words he’d wanted to say hung in the air.

—————————

a few months prior 1969

Brian walked into class that morning, feeling, for the first time in his academic career, completely out of place. He was surrounded by younger students, all of whom he didn’t recognize from his department. And although it wasn’t anything truly serious, he felt his anxieties bubble in his stomach, at the thought of sticking out. He’d stick out as because he was older—because he was out of his department—because of how he looked, Brian thought. He didn’t like his nose, or his hair, or how skinny he was—his appearance already made him feel awkward and out of place, and now people were definitely going to notice him, an upper-year, awkwardly sat on the wooden chairs—probably struggling to keep up with the class because he was an idiot who’d put off his electives until his last year—

“Bonjour classe. Pouvez-vous vous asseoir, s'il vous plaît. Nous allons commencer sous peu.” Brian heard a tall, and rather stern looking woman say as she entered the class. “Sit down, please. We’ve ten minutes,” he heard her add when nobody moved.

Brian, along with everybody else began looking for seats, with Brian opting for a chair somewhere towards the back of the lecture hall. Brian ran his fingers across his pencil, not even noticing how he’d begun to strum a pattern of a song as he did. He looked around himself, before running his other hand over his hair, making sure that the front didn’t curl up and out. Eyes shifting towards the door he saw a girl enter the hall. She was very pretty, he thought. She craned her neck looking for a seat before situating herself a few seats down in front of Brian. Then Madame Augillard began speaking.

Their Professor seemingly refused to speak a word of English, Brian noted. To his relief he wasn’t the only person who looked lost, everyone else around him (including himself) seemed to scramble for their dictionaries, hastily flipping across the pages. Well, everyone except her, he thought. He stole a glance at her, raising her hand whenever the Professor had a question—and though Brian understood virtually none of the words they’d exchange, he could tell from Augillard’s smile that this girl was getting everything right.

Brian found the next few classes over the next few weeks easier than the first day, with the Professor noting that she only ever spoke strictly in French on the first day to discourage anyone who wouldn’t take the class seriously. Brian was still struggling, however—well, his definition of struggle that was. He got decent marks and all that, but he thought he could do better.  Not being satisfied with his grades enough, Brian opted to spend more time at the library, much to the disappointment of his bandmates, who were hoping to slip in as many rehearsals as they could. But Brian found that didn’t help either. 

Walking into the library, Brian glanced around for a seat, only to find her, sat comfortable in a corner, brows furrowed as she scribbled down notes. He found out rather quickly that he could always find her there. She was so intelligent, he thought, so focused. He studied the way her eyes read over her textbooks, the way she fidgeted with the edges of her notebooks when she was concentrated. He mentally chastised himself in class or at the library, telling himself to focus, and feeling guilty and weird at how often he’d stolen a glance at her.

One lecture, as Brian sat in Augillard’s class, he found that he wasn’t listening to the lecture, really, but to a song he’d hear whenever he saw her. His composition notebook, rather than being endless lists of verb conjugations and overly complicated grammatical rules were instead filled of scribbling pages and pages of a words, some crossed out, some riddled with question marks—a song he didn’t know the words to just yet.

—————————

friday, late night

A bead of sweat rolled down Brian’s brow as he pushed the amplifier into Roger’s van. He, Roger and Tim all thought they’d played quite well, but much to their disappointment, there were only a handful of people who attended tonight’s gig—but Y/N was there, and that seemed to make up for it. Y/N had gone home, much to her chagrin, helping a well-pissed Suzie walk the two blocks home as she draped her arm on her shoulders. When she’d found out that Roger had written a song about a girl he was seeing who was definitely not her, she had, according to Y/N, decided to get “very much, thoroughly, and without a doubt piss-drunk.” 

“This yours?” Roger asked, interrupting Brian’s train of thought. He held out a composition notebook, but before Brian could nod his head ‘yes’ and take it from his friend, Roger yanked it away, holding it above himself and refusing to give it back. “Who’s this about, though?” He asked Brian, eyebrows raised in a suggestive manner. He opens the notebook and begins to read. 

“On such a breathless night as this. Upon my brow the lightest kiss—oh very poetic, Brian.” Roger grins mischievously, his laughter erupting in bubbling fits as Brian runs circles around him, trying to grab at him. Roger continued reading, “I walked alone, and all around the air did say ‘my lady soon will stir this way—“

“Will you give me that back?” Brian demands, almost lunging towards Roger, who’d by now made his way up one of their speakers, dangling the notebook above Brian as he continued to read out of it.

“Needing - unheard, Pleading - one word—oh, Brian, you’re a next generation Shelley, you are!”

“Will you stop acting like a child, Rog!” Brian demands.Roger grabs Brian’s arm as it reaches for him, before giving him a look of feigned shock, and widening his blue eyes at his friend. “Give it back,” Brian says rather pathetically, wringing his hands away from Roger.

“Tell me who it’s about and I might—I’m curious, you never wax poetry, not even about that bird you shagged in April. Did you even shag her—“

“Oi! Get off the speaker’s those cost a fortune!” Tim yelled from down the street. Tim walked towards his bandmates, his brows furrowed, and his jaw clenched as Roger hopped off the speaker, not even looking the least bit embarrassed to be caught, but rather, smiling widely at Brian, who by now, was fuming. “Christ, I’m gone a few minutes to pay our venue, and you lot are out here doing all this.” Tim continues.

“It’s Rog’s fault!” Brian stomps, sounding almost like a petulant child when he hears the words come out of his mouth. “Sorry,” he adds quickly, feeling embarrassment creep up into his cheeks as he tried looking Tim in the eye.

“Brian’s in love—or bewitched—possibly both,” Roger says quite musically, turning to face Brian before he flutters his eyelashes at him. Tim yanks the notebook from Roger’s grasp and hands it to Brian, before exasperatedly muttering at the two to just finish packing and get in the car.

————

saturday morning

“Briaaaannnnn,” Roger drawled, as he lay on the couch, very much hungover as his legs draped over the back as he let his head fall off the seat, his blonde hair swinging with every shake of his head, “Who’s it for, Bri—“

“Stop. I’m trying to study,” Brian retorted, as he sat on the couch, never taking his eyes off his textbook to look at his friend beside him.

“Studying—it’s a fucking Saturday, Bri! Get some rest, get drunk, go out! Christ it’s not French again is it?” Roger said as he began shifting on the couch, turning to lay his head on one of the armrests, and effectively nudging Brian off the couch as he tried to stretch his legs. Roger winced at the volume of his own voice.

“Bloody hell, Roger, get your feet off the couch I’ve no room!” Brian complained, trying to push Roger’s feet back by settling himself back on the couch, struggling to be comfortable

“Why the fuck are you even taking French anyway? Could have dropped it for an easy one. Don’t even need it to be a physicist—”

“Astrophysicist,” Brian began, standing up, finally. “And this isn’t French it’s for my physics final on Monday—and I happen to like taking French. I’m not just here to get a degree, y’know—it’s the pursuit of knowledge—“

“You just like spending time with Y/N–“ Roger interrupted. Brian stared at him for a few seconds before swatting at his friend’s feet with his textbook.

“Ow! Shit! What the bloody fuck was that for?” Roger protested, though Brian barely grazed him and he tried to kick and flail his legs up to get at Brian.

Brian huffed, crossing his arms as he raised his brows at his friend. “Don’t you have a biology exam to study for?” He said, rather indignantly.

“Hah. Didn’t I tell you? I’m exempted.” Roger says with a cheeky grin, propping his feet back up on the couch. “That’s that natural brilliance I s’pose—some of us don’t need to study,” he muses, reaching over to the coffee table to get his lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Brian made his way to the kitchen, huffing as he sat himself on the small, short chairs, frowning as Roger stretched his legs up in the air as if to taunt him. After a few moments, his friend poked his head from behind the couch, his chin resting on his arms as he crossed them.

“So it’s about Y/N then, I reckon.” Roger says, a cigarette hanging between his lips as he lights it.

Brian doesn’t answer, but his face does flush, and he holds up his textbook rather impractically to cover his face.

Gotcha. Roger thinks. “So you fancy her then.” He teases, wiggling his eyebrows a bit as Brian finally looks up at him.

“We’re just friends, really, Rog—”

Roger takes a long drag out of his cigarette, “You think I don’t see the two of you sprawled out on this here couch every other night—“

“We were studying. For French—“

“Her hands running through your hair? Yeah you lot was studying French alright,” Roger rolls his eyes, “next thing you know you’ll tell me you’re reviewing Isaac bloody Newton’s three laws of gravity while she’s got her hands down your trousers jerking you off—“

“She was straightening my hair—she was being nice.” Brian interrupted, snapping his textbook shut, nostrils flaring as his mouth forming a straight, hard line and he stood up out of his chair. Roger’s smile faded and his expression began to soften.

“Brian,” Roger said with a gentler tone, before promptly putting his cigarette out and swinging his legs over to straddle the couch “I’m sorry, that was out of line. But there’s no need to lie to me, we’re mates, you can tell me anything—I won’t even make fun of you if it actually bothers you. Sorry if it did.” 

“S’alright” Brian said quietly, sitting back down again. 

“So, you must really like her then, huh?” Roger asks, his voice kinder, and eyes focused on his friend. He made his way to sit himself opposite Brian by the kitchen. Brian, doesn’t respond, his fingers lightly drumming on the edge of his textbook as he stares at the floorboards, although Roger gets his answer from the silence alone. “So why don’t you tell her then, she’s not seeing anyone, is she?”

Brian is silent before shaking his head and speaking. “We’re friends, Rog nothing more. And even if I was interested in her in that way—it’s not a chance I’d want to take, I mean, what if I make things awkward, or we never speak again. I don’t think you understand that you can just be friends with girls without doing anything, honestly, Rog.” Brian tries to shrug it off with a laugh. They were just friends, he thought. And although he might have fancied her, he truly valued their friendship, and she seemed to as well. He would regret it if he chose to be selfish and ruined that.

Roger just stares at him, his brows furrowed, and his mouth curved into a frown, seeming rather unconviced with his friend before getting up with a sigh and a pat on Brian’s shoulder. 

“If I were you, I’d take my chances,” he tells Brian, before turning on his heel and flopping himself back onto the couch, leaving Brian in the kitchen alone.

——

Later that night Brian sat on his bed, his composition notebook open to him as he tuned his guitar. Roger had left—something about bar-hopping with Farokh, which Brian had kindly declined, opting for a night in. Brian sat in his room, his fingers gently strumming over his strings, leaning in to the warm glow of his bedside lamp beside him.

This was stupid, he thought. Why was he even bothering finishing this song? 

When he first wrote it down it started out as a few words that gradually blossomed into sentences every day he’d see her pass him by at the library, the sunlight streaming in to illuminate her, small particles of dust floating around her, making her look ethereal. But now—now that he knew her, and heard her laughter, and seen her smile. Now, Brian found as though he was discovering new words to his song, and heard the melody clearer than before every day that he knew her. 

Maybe Roger was right. Maybe he should take his chances, he thinks back to their conversation earlier. But there was no point in finishing it. They were meant to be friends. They were good as friends. Nothing more. It would ruin things, anyway.

 But Brian knew he had to get the song out of his head eventually, or he might just go mad, he thought. Brian reached over, grabbing his pencil, writing out the words he heard so clearly in his mind. He read over them carefully, his voice small and gentle before he began to sing. Then he began adding music to it, strumming gently with his sixpence between his fingers.

When his song ended he let the last words disappear into the silence of his room, and he couldn’t help but feel further away from Y/N than when he didn’t know her.

TRANSLATIONS:

“allons-y! Pouvez-vous me lire? Je veux entendrer.” = Let’s go, can you read to me? I want to hear…”

“Pouvez vous, parler en Français, s’il vous plait.“ = Speak in French, if you please.

“Qu'est ce que voulez-vous que je lire?”  = “What do you want me to read?”

“Tu peux décider. Je n’ai pas de préférence.” = (informal version of ‘you’ indicating comfort, and casual tone) You can decide. I don’t have a preference.

“Très bien, Baudelaire aurait été fier!” = Very good! Baudelaire would have been proud!

Maintenant, continuez s’il vous plait.= Now, continue, please.

“Bonjour classe. Pouvez-vous vous asseoir, s'il vous plaît. Nous allons commencer dans quelques minutes” = Good morning class, please sit down. We will begin in a few minutes.

À une passante de Charles Baudelaire

La rue assourdissante autour de moi hurlait.

Longue, mince, en grand deuil, douleur majestueuse,

Une femme passa, d’une main fastueuse

Soulevant, balançant le feston et l’ourlet;

Agile et noble, avec sa jambe de statue.

Moi, je buvais, crispé comme un extravagant,

Dans son oeil, ciel livide où germe l’ouragan,

La douceur qui fascine et le plaisir qui tue.

Un éclair… puis la nuit! — Fugitive beauté

Dont le regard m’a fait soudainement renaître,

Ne te verrai-je plus que dans l’éternité?

Ailleurs, bien loin d’ici! trop tard! jamais peut-être!

Car j’ignore où tu fuis, tu ne sais où je vais,

Ô toi que j’eusse aimée, ô toi qui le savais!

TRANSLATION:

The deafening street around me roared.

Tall, slim, in deep mourning,  majestic grief,

A woman passed, lifting and swinging

With a pompous gesture the hem and flounces of her skirt,

Swift and noble, with statuesque limb.

As for me, I drank, twitching like a crazy man,

From her eye, livid sky where the hurricane is born,

The softness that fascinates and the pleasure that kills,

A lightning flash… then night! O fleeting beauty,

By whose glance I was suddenly reborn,

Shall I see you again only in eternity?

Somewhere else, way too far from here! Too late! Perhaps never!

For I do not know where you flee, you don’t know where I go,

O you whom I would have loved, O you who knew it!

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Fall book recs!

Swear to Me by Rose Madison An old classic, a book I never get tired of reading! I met Rose in college and she’s a super talented writer! She wrote this, her debut novel, back in high school and it still holds up pretty well. I love the characters, especially Tux. I don’t know why, but I have a soft spot for well meaning and adorkable dumbasses. I also have a soft spot for characters like Rina, also an adorkable dumbass who’s a sweetheart most of the time and internally screaming half the time, usually over minor inconveniences.

The book is silly, heartwarming, and action packed. I think it could make a great manga adaptation if done properly - I’d definitely read that! A fairy quick read - about 160 pages, and the pacing is quick so the only issue is that it feels too short. But a lot happens in that short time!

Portal to the Past by The Livy Aubree Company I pretty much love almost everything by Livy Aubree. I’m also loving the new show, Orla and Ozzie, which is based on this graphic novel. I was always fascinated with the history behind the classic characters Orla and Ozzie, mainly Orla. Up until recently, Orla has been put on the wayside and aside from the graphic novel, she hasn’t really had time to shine.

I love the character dynamic between Orla and Ozzie, which is the strongest part about this story. The sequels are worth looking into, but they’re not as good. There’s some strong points but overall the sequels are inconsistent in terms of plot and character development. The show, which is finishing up its first season, is definitely worth the watch! 

Orla is one of my faves and I’m happy with how they handled Ozzie as his character has become a bit stagnant over the years - mainly because he’s the company’s mascot and all. What I like most is how the book and the TV show didn’t shy away from his flaws. Instead of making him a perfect goody two shoes (even when he’s clearly in the wrong - something that always annoyed me) they addressed the consequences of his actions and fleshed out his personality more so he wouldn’t be one dimensional. He was one of those characters who I always felt had a lot of potential to be interesting so I’m glad for this novel and the show.

An absolute must read! (Also I’m happy to say that my copy was signed by the show’s producer Levi Romero when I visited the island earlier this year!)

Wilde Louie by Jimmy Mathieson I enjoyed Postcards a lot so I looked into more books by him. This one is his second most popular book so I bought a copy at a second hand store when I found it. The Fairweathers is full of talented people and Jimmy has a knack for writing! 

Back at Concert in the Stars, Jimmy told me he’ll send an advanced copy of his latest book a week before it comes out - which will be around the end of the year - so I’ll be doing a review on that for my winter book reads!

So the story was really interesting! I love Louie and Shep’s relationship - the found family trope has always been one of my favorites! They both may be shady con artists but underneath they’re also good and caring people. Shep tries to act tough and all but the truth is he’s a father figure who ends up unintentionally adopting a bunch of misfits. And Louie turns into the exasperated big brother who’s like 10000% done when everything goes wrong. The humor and fast paced dialogue are the book’s strongest points!

Blizzards by Chuck Wortherly A book full of poems relating to snow and blizzards. There isn’t really much to say as that’s as straightforward as it can get. They’re short, one page poems and it’s a very fast read. I love the imagery and the brevity, which is really effective.

My top favorite is Freshly Fallen Snow, which to me reads like a song. It’s quiet and a bit sad, the imagery makes you feel alone and small - but not in an entirely bad way. Sort of like a quiet melancholy that settles into you. Another favorite is Ashes and Ice, which provokes striking and powerful imagery. There’s also Snowball Fights, which is about nostalgia, and Howls, which tells the story about a wolf lost in a blizzard.

Serena and the Cracked Sapphire by Shion Yuki One of my favorite mangas! It’s basically a magical girl type story, which I enjoy. I started reading the series in middle school and it still holds up really well. There’s twenty books in the series, which takes place in a span of five years. There’s a TV adaptation in the works that is planned to be released next year so I’m looking forward to that! Based on what I’m hearing, I have high hopes for the show.

So there’s the main character Serena, who’s a reincarnation of a princess. Her weapon is a wand with a cracked sapphire and most of the time she’s pretty OP as hell. There’s her team, a band of friends known as the Jewel Shards who fight alongside her. And there’s Celestia, who’s a reincarnation of a princess from a disgraced family, and she and Serena are soulmates. Serena’s like any other typical magical girl protagonist - clumsy, badass, sweet, stubborn, and optimistic. It can be cheesy and silly and it can be dramatic and sad. 

The first book in the series was and always will remain a classic. If you liked the first one, then you’ll enjoy the rest of the series. My favorite main arc is Team Crystal Shards because that’s when Serena’s team really comes together to fight the big boss. It’s basically the turning point in the series where Jewel Shards finally win the trust of the Crystal Stones and work together to fight the Shattered Diamonds. My favorite side arc is Apartment Hunting, where Serena and Crystal learn how to adult and fail epically at it. 

Shockwave by Rose Madison Rose’s first sci-fi book and it was a wild ride! I’ve never really got into post apocalyptic stories so I was intrigued to see how this would play out. I tend to like slice of life stories so this was nice. In the story, the apocalypse already happened so now it’s based on the characters living normal everyday lives - well as normal as it can get.

What I love most about this book is the storytelling. It’s third person narration through three main characters and the chapters are structured a certain way. Jenna’s chapters are focused on the present. She’s an inquisitive character who’s naive and easily impressed by everything. And there’s Swan, whose chapters starts out in the middle of the event going - sort of like that freeze frame moment where the narrator is trying to explain something by going back to the beginning. She represents the past and present, the one who provides most of the backstory behind the Shadow Wars. Finally there’s Lina, who represents the future as she’s always getting ahead of herself. Her chapters are dialog heavy and fast paced. The three characters are what carries the story and it intertwines together so well!

Unlike most stories about the apocalypse, this one is quite optimistic and lighthearted. There’s a lot of funny moments in the book like poor Swan who’s unable to catch a break as she winds up falling into all her cousin’s traps. Or Jenna mistaking a giant spaceship for two pyramids because she overslept and forgot her glasses. And there’s a running gag of Lina’s inventions always going haywire and turning evil, including the notable Project Shockwave. This book could make a really interesting sitcom!

Bumblebees and Lavender by Margie Shen Another poetry book, and it’s become one of my favorites! I’ve heard about Margie Shen for a while on social media but I was a bit hesitant to check her out at first. The last few popular poets I checked out were underwhelming, to put it nicely. I liked some of them but overall they were overhyped and the books were mediocre at best.

As for this one, I was throughly impressed. What I liked about this book is that the poems had substance. They’re not super short and simple - instead they’re complex and descriptive. My favorites were the ones that told a short story like Nutmeg Tea and The Beekeeper. There’s profound and thoughtful poems like Flora with Lavenders in Her Hair and Bittersweet Chocolates. I love A Touch of Honey, which made this book easily one of my favorites. I’m definitely going to look for more books by Margie Shen and keep an eye out for her next one, due out next year!

Seventeen and Counting by Eldred Emerson This is a ridiculous book and I love it! Sure some parts area bit too silly but it’s a wild ride from start to finish. There’s a movie adaptation that’s pretty faithful to the story and just as funny. It’s about this guy, his growing collection of cats, and their everyday misadventures. 

What I like the most is the names he gives his cats as he likes to go for the unusual. My favorite character is a black cat named Whiskercheeks, who goes by Whisk. His twin brother Wyn, short for Llewelyn, is considered the evil one and has the worst luck. Moneybags, aka Mon, is the baby of the family and causes a lot of mischief for the twins. There’s also Cotton Puffball, who’s always done with everything because everyone she knows is a mess. And there’s Rake Chewer, who likes to chew rakes and is a big klutz.

Overall it’s a really funny and cute book about a bunch of cats and their dorky owner.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Old glee spoof liveblogs

Yuè [glee spoof 4] so yeah i decided to watch all of simgm's glee stuff (glee spoof, glee minisodes, gleedo) and i am at spoof 4

Yuè Oh this one has no captions Yuè MICHAEL IS HERE!!!! Yuè "THE FUCKING AUDITORIUM FINN" Yuè I've been singing the Obsession with Finn song at the top of.mylungs today cause what a jam Yuè IT IS MY BOY BLAAAAAAAAINE Yuè there were a lot of guest stars Yuè GO EMMA Yuè TATER TOTS Yuè "Nice mugshot Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 5] time for rachel's nose job

Yuè ah.. no captions Yuè "but we'll pretend that never happened cause we're good at doing that with storylines" Yuè YOOO WILLIAM IS HERE FOR SAM Yuè AND ALSO SCOTT (I think that was the name of the actor before Kyle) AS PUCK Yuè glee did Wannabe in an episode but it wasn't the same because Brother's riffs weren't in there Yuè "is that all you ever do?" TRUTH Yuè I love it when Hemo smiles in the background Yuè thanks Emma for slamming Will and his "teaching" Yuè "what in the fuckity fuck fuck was that shit??" Yuè nickname one: lemon drop Yuè I love this part Yuè "where did that piano come from?" Yuè SORRY SIMGM BUT CHECK PLEASE JUST GOT UPDATED I NEED T READ IT Yuè okay okay I am going to continue cause it hasn't blown up yet so I can't blog about omgcp yet Yuè I don't like Santana faking the sexual harassment claim tho Yuè ZOOMBA Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out the double standards between male and female characters Yuè "a sad attempt of giving me a storyline" Yuè damm Sister did great job on the performances Yuè "Nice choir Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 6] WHERE'S MA CROWN? Yuè "isn't that what you did" "yeah but.. I'm Finn" Yuè "THAT'S WHY YOU BETTER ROLL" Yuè "I can't believe we're stupid enough to believe that" Yuè "wow... misjudged that one" Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out so many plot holes Yuè "you can't fight the power of Brittana" Yuè I FORGOT ABOUT JESSE FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS Yuè I can't believe Michael did Jesse and Kurt's voice Yuè *voices Yuè YES YES YES THE BLAINE SONG IS STILL MY JAM WHY ISN'T IT ON THEIR SPOTIFY? ?? Yuè "yeah if you're gonna fight at least hit each other" Yuè THIS S.MY FAVORITE PART OF ALL OF GLEE SPOOFS GO FOR IT KURT Yuè nickname two: sugary plumb pie Yuè THIS ENTIRE EPISODE IS WONDERFUL Yuè "ONE MORE TIME" Yuè "Nice poem Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 7] This is over 30 minutes long that's what I call dedication

Yuè " half of the stuff that happens to us makes no damn sense" Yuè I still can't believe Boss built the entire New York set herself Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" fuuuuck I should wear my I have big plans t-shirt Yuè well Quinn.. Cats is back on Broadway now aka Rachel was just 6 years early Yuè "it's no time for logic Kurt" Yuè SAVE THE HORSES Yuè "I regret nothing" I love the glee spoof Artie Yuè I just love the entire glee spoof Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" Yuè I am just in constant amazement of the New York set Yuè I'm now wearing the Big Plans t-shirt just around the time Quinn goes crazy about her big plans Yuè Oh god after six years I finally get the "Bootay" thing Yuè "well this could've been a lo-" Yuè "shut the fuck up Finn" Yuè I remember Boss saying Michael worked really hard on the song Yuè Boss sounds so much like Lea it's unreal maybe Boss should be on Elsie Fest this year Yuè why doesn't the Sims 4 have spiral staircases yet? Yuè "you know you're probably gonna change your mind by the end of the episode, right?" Yuè "PLANS! Big ones!" Yuè "Okay first of all: breath mints. You needs on" Yuè Brittany is the only sane one here Yuè quite frankly. . Sunshine beating Rachel up is more believable than Rachel's sudden change of heart Yuè "I'm Finn" Yuè "that might change by the end of the episode though" true true true Yuè SMACK THAT Yuè I like this song more than Pretending but honestly I just really don't like Pretending Yuè there's so many great music in this episode Yuè I actually used to have Simgm music on my phone including this song Yuè the part with Santana and Rachel is my favourite Yuè nickname 3: pancakes Yuè nickname 4: gingerbread dough sprinkled lightly toasted graham cracker bunny" Yuè "who got tad more songs than me" "WHAT?" Yuè aaaah my Brittana shipping heart Yuè "NOW MARCH MOTHERFUCKER" Yuè "oh and. ... Tater tots" Yuè woah Brianna voiced both Terri and Sunshine?

Yuè [glee spoof 8] (Jim Cantiello voice) SEASON 3. The season where we appreciate Tina.

Yuè JUDGING YOU WRITERS Yuè "I don't have any (smile)" Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè "cinnamon toast" "Finn!" Yuè nickname 5: Pop Tart Yuè honestly Blaine should've just fucked stayed at Dalton Yuè what happened to Dianna's dog? Yuè "... than Kurt dropped Mercedes" oH SHIT Yuè THIS IS THE START OF UNICORN Yuè nickname 6: Candy Cane Yuè GOD BLESS THE BLAINE SONG AND BOSS'S BROTHER'S VOICE Yuè "I didn't do it" Yuè ah the angry student is back Yuè Oh wait is this where Jordan started voicing Sue? Yuè "Because they don't know what else to do with my character" Yuè good thing that glee spoof continues the hair jokes Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè this song was also on my phone Yuè I think I had Breakout, Tonight, Blaine song, Faith, Gotta Be Love With You and another one on my phone Yuè OH THE CELL BLOCK TANGO Yuè watching this really makes me want to play the Sims 2 again but... I have a storyline on the Sims 4 aka a fifth generation family Yuè QUINN FALLING GETS ME EVERY TIME Yuè name of Beth 1: Carol Yuè "holy crap I can't believe I'm actually saying meaningful lines" Yuè nadiacreek actually made a ranking of parents in glee and she put Shelby on it twice Yuè good for Beth and bad for Rachel Yuè "IHBBP. I have big baby plans!" Yuè "Damn, you Brittana"

Yuè [glee spoof 9] and we appreciate Tina Yuè Oh I love this song Yuè "Asian" "Asian F" "stereotype" "stop doing glee club" "no" "I'm glad we talked this out" Yuè BRITT IN A MONKEY SUIT Yuè name of Beth 2 and 3: Susan, Mary Yuè name of Beth 4: Jessica Yuè THEY SAY THAT LIFE IS TATER TOT AR R Y OU FOR REAL?? Yuè RORY UM IRISH Yuè I love the cast list Yuè and I also love Mercedes's riffs Yuè was Nathan actually Irish? I don't think do cause he was in one of those chats Yuè "I was told you are too" True Yuè "We apprecia-" "Shut the fuck up" Yuè "COURAGE" Yuè I actually wanted the courage t-shirt before I got the I have big plans one Yuè Oh man I miss the old crack days of jokes of Finn telling Blainers to sit down Yuè AND THERE IS BRIANNA AS SUGAR MOTTA Yuè "what the f-" Yuè "H-" "stop you're embarrassing yourself" Yuè I LOVE THAT FINN SMILE Yuè "Told you"

Yuè [glee spoof 10] that time a parody handled Santana's coming out story better than the actual show

Yuè I love the warning Yuè "I've been working in keeping my eyebrows still" Yuè "I think I'll go wax my lasagna" is one of my favourite lines ever Yuè OH B OY SEBASTIAN Yuè nickname 7???: snuggle toes Yuè a background sim is wearing a fez I love it Yuè FUCKING HELL THE VEGAN THING Yuè "Tina what the fuck" "Bitch" Yuè Y'ALL IT IS TIME FOR THE CELL BLOCK TANGO THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE Yuè also who the hell did these sometimes inaccurate captions? Yuè kudos to Boss for all these dialogues Yuè "Found out he couldn't handle BIG PLANS" Yuè damm I'm still in awe bc f the Cell Block Tango Yuè "we're here to save Rachel's virginity" Yuè nickname 8: Watermelon Lips Yuè KLAINE DID WATERMELON BEFORE IT WAS COOL Yuè I've drawn so many Stop the violence things Yuè Lauren is creepin Yuè GO SIMGM GO SIMGM GO SIMGM YES YES YES THANKS FOR THIS SCENE Yuè I love the big camera and also them saying the storyline is stupid Yuè also we needed more of Brittany supporting Santana during this come on fuck off glee Yuè I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABUT TIS SONG Yuè Quinn is just smiling while Santana is beating the living shit out of Finn Yuè "Can't say I didn't warn you" Yuè FINN SINGING WHILE DRUNK AND NAKED IS MY FAVE Hannah sebbbbb Yuè Hannah: did you watch simgm ????????

Yuè [glee spoof 11] time for simgm to do it right

Yuè it is true tho bc Santana suddenly got suspended for violence and I'm like... FIGGINS HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THESE KIDS DO ON A DAILY BASIS? Yuè Man the actual episode was such bullshit Yuè "then we're all in the wrong club" Yuè Brittany saying the truth Yuè the entire Quick storyline is so weird Yuè "CHEESEBURGER" Yuè tbh this song is as boring as the song they actually sung on glee so congrats simgm Yuè I'll never get why Santana was so offended by Klaine singing Perfect to her in support bc they know how hard it is in a straight world Yuè whereas the straight dude who outed her sang a boring ass unnecessary song and Santana was crying because she was so ///moved/// Yuè "unions and ass????" Yuè nickname 9: Dolphin Nose? Yuè "I'M KURT BITCH" Yuè Brittana should've sung in the actual glee sigh glee this was such a disappointment Yuè BRITTANA DANCING THE SMUSSLE Yuè honestly suspending Rachel was the best that could have happened because it gave us a killer Rachel free setlist Yuè "Do you people know math???" Yuè "Not completely. I have big plans" "there she goes again" Yuè ZISES Yuè "and clap like a seal" Yuè "It's random and out of character" Yuè glee and its writers suck at romance Yuè "QUINN HEEL" Yuè THIS IS THE SONG THAT WAS ALSO ON MY PHONE Yuè "I can still remember when I was 18. and here I am at 17, a woman"

Yuè [glee spoof 12] there weren't any songs in it

Yuè NVM I WAS WATCHING EPISODE 13 THERE ARE SONGS IN EP 12 Yuè "oh you know me and my big plans" Yuè "we hold hands, ran into Kurt and Blaine, and I moved two weeks later" Yuè unfortunately the old channel doesn't have captions Yuè "allow me to show you my excitement. ..... " I actually use that quote in real life Yuè why can't Shue do anything by himself Yuè "it always freaks me out when he decides to actually teach" Yuè I love these moments Yuè "my cat will eat you alive" Yuè I just remember how uncomfortable it was to watch Finchel suck face on glee like they didn't even look like loving kisses it was full open mouth on open mouth and making out Yuè "you would know all about announcing things wouldn't you" Yuè I also liked this song Yuè "no I only do that in cars" Yuè nickname 10: chocolate turle Yuè *turtle Yuè to quote Darren Criss: "it's cool I'm back" Yuè after taking a break to help dad wth dinner I'm gonna end this episode Yuè Oh the slushie Yuè "do my eyebrows look okay?" Yuè "that building was already on fire when I got there" Yuè "what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom" Yuè "aren't we supposed to be rehearsing" "DO WE EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT?" Yuè GAY PIRATE Yuè "oh wow we actually accomplished something" I love Quinn s snark in these spoofs Yuè so much snark Yuè "oh sh-" Yuè WAIT JORDAN ALSO VOICED GRANT?

Yuè [glee spoof 13] Finn doesn't know how to wash his balls

Yuè really.. Will and Emma suck at their jobs Yuè BLACK SUE Yuè "by the way I'm having a baby" Yuè Mercedes was actually the only one in canon that handled differently when she cheated Yuè "where do I sign to get you fired?" Yuè there were no songs in this ep... Yuè Oh yeah Boss voiced Sugar cause Brianna was ill Yuè poor Puck Yuè ZISES Yuè "sure let's go with that" Yuè "okay who the fuck is this guy?" Quinn once again spilling the truth Yuè "FINN YOU SON OF A-" Yuè "my girlfriend my girlfriend politics and Latino Brittany is my girlfriend equal rights if I wanna kiss my girlfriend I can rainbow flag" Yuè nickname 11: crayola monkey Yuè wait isn't this Scott's last episode?

Yuè [glee spoof 14] what a nice episode title

Yuè "I'm sorry we don't speak bitch" Yuè "and you make a two dollar hoe look classy" Yuè Sam is wearing simgm merch Yuè "I don't here Finchel when Finchel speaks" same Yuè respect for simgm to not make fun of the suicide storyline Yuè I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE TEY PUT A STARKID REFERENCE IN HETR Yuè "MY CAT IS PART OF THE CIA" Yuè in which the girls are fucking sensible Yuè I love the glee version of No Scrub but man what a jam is this Yuè "you suck at motivational speeches" Yuè "do you feel the 'I don't give a fuck' I'm throwing in your direction" Yuè I ASKED FOR DEVELOPMENT AND THEY GAVE ME A WHEELCHAIR Yuè "I have-" "give it a rest Quinn" Yuè "he didn't call me a nickname today" "OH SHIT SON" Yuè "since five seconds ago" Yuè THESE PARTS BETWEEN SIBLING OH GOD Yuè damn Quinn is being inspirational Yuè duck bless this song Yuè AH BRITT Yuè "If there was a chair to kick right now I would" Yuè well well well simgm Yuè nice song

Yuè [glee spoof 15] at this point Boss and Co were so done they put 4 episodes in one spoof

Yuè True about Damian and the glee project thing Yuè waot there are no captions Yuè Mr Schue is such a dick Yuè ah... Quinn's face Yuè for real tho in 4 eps Santana changed her opinion on college too many times Yuè "this got disturbing really fast" Yuè UNIQUE Yuè "knock knock" "who's there?" "go away" Yuè THE WAY RACHEL'S FACE JUST FELL Yuè ZISES IS IN THE CHOIR ROOM Yuè the Quoe boner thing was so gross Yuè I also use "and I wanna go to college" in real life to basically say WTF Yuè fuck Chandler Yuè Oh jesus Yuè btw welcome Kyle to the cast Yuè "I can do that now. I see you're dressed as Lea Michele today" Yuè SANTANA VISION Yuè "dinosaurs" "shut the fuck up Mike"

Yuè [glee spoof 16] this is the end

Yuè throwback to the first ep Yuè Rachel is a selfish as Yuè *ass Yuè and Tina is right Yuè THE BODY SWAP Yuè nickname 12 kinda: winky fairy Yuè ahhh I'm getting all emotional Yuè TATER TOOOOOOOOOOOOTS Yuè another throwback because they're all wearing the outfits they wore in the first spoof Yuè "good luck with that" Yuè EVEN ZISES WAS HERE Yuè the unicorn magic!! Yuè "my big plans are-" (title song) Yuè ... and it's over AGAIN

Yuè [glee spoof minisodes and others]

Yuè mini 1Glee Spoof Minisode 1 | Kurt's Problem with Blaine Yuè this is the video that led me to Simgm because of Michael's awesome voice work Yuè nickname 1: cutiepiedumplingsugartwinkledove Yuè I love that nickname Yuè nickname 2: kurtsie wurtsie Yuè mini 2Glee Spoof Minisode 2 | Santana Exposes All Yuè TATER TOTS YEAAAAAH Yuè "Penises and Winecoolers: a dangerous combination" Yuè "you've been a bad girl Santana" oh lord Yuè mini 3Glee Spoof Minisode 3 | Fondue for Two Yuè wait Yuè this isn't minisode 3 Yuè this is the other Fondue for Two mini Yuè okay in other words minisode 3 has disappeared so let's just move to Yuè mini 4Glee Spoof Minisode 4 |The Glee Cast Discover the Gl... Yuè this s where it gets real Yuè "SAVE THE HORSES" Yuè this is the first time the actual sim "actors" were in a video Yuè "am I really that tall?" "YES!" Yuè mini 5Glee Spoof Minisode 5 | Quinn's Summer Before Senior... Yuè I actually ripped the audio off of this one and put it on my phone so that I could listen t it Yuè "you have too many messages fr me to count" Yuè "BLAINE HOW MANY TMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SING DURING-" Yuè quinn's face when Finn tries to order a pizza Yuè "..." "that must've been Tina leaving a message" Yuè mini 6Glee Spoof Minisode 6 | The Glee Club Gets Tested Yuè "you know I'm gonna flunk" Yuè Oh Santana Yuè "cow ass no. 5?" Yuè "you're all fucking crazy" "we didn't need a test to tell us that" Yuè mini 7 for realGlee Spoof Minisode 7 | Fondue for Two Part 2 Yuè "do you enjoy being a lesbian?" Yuè nickname 3: puffy-bear Yuè again.. oh Santana Yuè "you do like tossing things" "yeah like..." "my girlfriend out of the closet" Yuè mini 8Glee Spoof Minisode 8 | Brainstorming with the Creat... Yuè RIB is at it again Yuè "is Obama available?" if only Yuè Ian does no shit Yuè hey it's a Zises Yuè I love the Sim cast Yuè "what the fuck did I just read" after the IKAG script is gold Yuè mini 9Glee Spoof Minisode 9 | The Glee Cast Auditions Yuè Sim cast is back wohoo Yuè "my name is-" "you've got the part" Yuè "no way that's HELLA cool!" Yuè mini 10Glee Spoof Minisode 10 | To Catch a Pedo Will Yuè you know that's also HELLA cool? Yuè more of Brianna as sugar Yuè "Because my boyfriend is super awesome" Yuè Sue knocking Schue down always gets me Yuè mini 11Glee Spoof Minisode 11 | Favorite Moments Yuè TIME FOR SENTIMENT Yuè I agree with Michael. "Where's ma crown?" is my favourite part as well Yuè the Christmas crap festGlee Spoof Christmas Special | Holly Jolly Crap Fest Yuè honestly I haven't seen this one in ages Yuè "this Irish dude" Yuè "????????????????" Yuè this was very weird tbh Yuè they never released that song Yuè comic conGlee Cast Comic Con Spoof Yuè I thought it was very cool that actual viewers could send in audio questions Yuè fucking mcgustin Yuè never forget mcgustin Yuè save horses and coffee 2k17 Yuè Oh shit Lea's laugh Yuè LEA Yuè go for it Darren Yuè sneak peek Behind the Scenes of Glee Spoofs Yuè this is like one minute long but it points out so many glee flaws it's hilarious Yuè "I asked for development and they gave me a wheelchair" Yuè btw I am watching all the little glee spoofs and other bts stuff but I'm not gonna live blog them

[infiniloading30]

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006

Kutumb, a musical Gujarati film to be released this Jan. Lucknowites are so loving: Hiten Tejwani Hiten Tejwani to shoot in Sector 18 and 67 for upcoming. Swapna Joshi debuts as director in Marathi films.

Kutumb The Family is a Hindi movie released on 26 May, 2017. The movie is directed by Amit Shree Yadav and featured Rajpal Yadav and Alok Nath as lead characters.

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Movie

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Full

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Watch

MarathiBoli is website for all Articles in Marathi language, Information related Marathi Movies, Marathi Music, Marathi Books, Marathi Culture, Marathi Kavita/Poem Marathi Movie Kutumb By Mahesh Manjarekar, cast Jitendra joshi and others. Ramp walk music hindi. House line in palmistry.

Manjrekar at Education Awareness Event

Born16 August 1958 (age 62)(1) Occupation

Film actor

director

screenwriter

producer

Years active1975–presentSpouse(s)Medha ManjrekarChildren3

Mahesh Vaman Manjrekar (born 16 August 1958)(1) is an Indian film director, actor, writer and producer.(2)(3) He is credited with directing the critically acclaimed films Vaastav: The Reality (1999), Astitva (2000) and Viruddh.. Family Comes First (2005). He has won a National Film Award and two Star Screen Awards. Besides direction, he has acted in several films, including some of his own productions. He was first seen in Door darshan Marathi series named Kshitij in which he played a leprosy patient. He first gained acclaim as an actor for his performance in the 2002 film Kaante, and later played negative roles in the Tamil film Arrambam (2013), Telugu film Okkadunnadu (2007) and as the gangster Javed in the film Slumdog Millionaire (2008). He played Shivaji in Marathi film Me Shivajiraje Bhosale Boltoy. He also played the negative role of Harpeez Dongara in the Aakhri Chunauti series of episodes in C.I.D.. Manjrekar was acclaimed for the negative role as inspector D.R. Talpade in the movie Wanted.

He was a MNS candidate from Mumbai North West in 2014 Lok Sabha Elections but lost to Gajanan Kirtikar of Shiv Sena.(4)(5)

Filmography(edit)

Actor(edit)

YearFilmsRoleLanguage1999Vaastav: The RealityAs himself in SongHindi2001Ehsaas: The FeelingMichaelHindi2002KaanteRaja 'Balli' YadavHindi2003Pran Jaye Par Shaan Na JayeMunna Bhai HatelaHindi2004PlanSultanHindi2004RunGanpat ChowdhuryHindi2004MusafirLukkaHindi2005It Was Raining That NightBrij BhushanEnglish2006ZindaJoy FernandesHindi2006Jawani Diwani: A Youthful JoyrideChappu BhaiHindi2007Dus KahaniyaanHindi2007OkkadunnaduSona BhaiTelugu2007Padmashree Laloo Prasad YadavAdvocate Prasad Pritam PradyumanHindi2007Deha2008Meerabai Not OutManoj Anant AchrekarHindi2008Slumdog MillionaireDon JavedEnglish2008HomamDaddyTelugu2009Me Shivajiraje Bhosale BoltoyShivajiMarathi2009WantedInspector TalpadeHindi200999AGM (Aatmaram Gyanshekhar Machve)Hindi2009Fruit and NutKhandar ZalaHindi2010AdhursDon Baba, the main villainTelugu2010Teen PattiDagdu SethHindi2010DabanggHaria (Rajo's father)Hindi2010Don SeenuMukesh Duggal / Duggal SaabTelugu2011ReadyRam Kapoor (Prem's father)Hindi2011Fakta Ladh MhanaBababhaiMarathi2011BodyguardRanjan MhatreHindi2012Tukkaa FittHindi2012OMG: Oh My God!Lawyer SardesaiHindi2012Jai Jai Maharashtra MazaMarathi2013HimmatwalaSher SinghHindi2013Shootout at WadalaInspector BhindeHindi2013Once Upon a Time In Mumbaai DobaraLocal gangster RawaHindi2013ArrambamMahadev RaneTamil2013RajjoBegamHindi2014Jai HoAuto-Rickshaw DriverHindi2014RegePradeep SharmaMarathi2014Singham ReturnsChief Minister Vikram AdhikariHindi2014Ardhangini by Abhishek MukherjeeBangla2015Bajirao MastaniShahuji Raje BhosaleHindi2015AkhilDivya's fatherTelugu2016Guntur TalkiesJakieTelugu2016Badsha - The DonShyam VhaiBengali2017FU: Friendship UnlimitedChilly's fatherMarathi2017VelaikkaranMadhav KurupTamil2018SanjuHimselfHindi2018Take Care Good NightInspector PawarMarathi2019Mard Ko Dard Nahi HotaAjobaHindi2019Vinaya Vidheya RamaChief Minister of BiharTelugu2019Total DhamaalChinnappa SwamyHindi2019SaahoPrinceHindi Tamil Telugu2019Mulshi PatternGanpatMarathi2019Dabangg 3HariyaHindi201966 SadashivMarathi2020Kesari(6)Vastad MehmanMarathi2020Taxi No. 24Hindi(7)2021Boss

(with Pawan Singh)

TBABhojpuri

Director(edit)

Aai (1995)

Vaastav: The Reality (1999)

Astitva (2000)

Kurukshetra (2000)

Jis Desh Mein Ganga Rehta Hai (2000)

Nidaan (2000)

Ehsaas: The Feeling (2001)

Tera Mera Saath Rahen (2001)

Hathyar (2002)

Pitaah (2002)

Pyaar Kiya Nahin Jaatha (2003)

Rakht (2004)

It Was Raining That Night (2005)

Viruddh.. Family Comes First (2005)

Vaah! Life Ho Toh Aisi! (2005)

Matichya Chuli (2006)

Shikshanachya Aaicha Gho (2010)

City of Gold (2010)

Ami Shubhash Bolchi (2011)

Fakt Ladh Mhana (2011)

Kaksparsh (2012)

Koknastha (2013)

Natsamrat (2016)

FU: Friendship Unlimited (2017)

Me Shivaji Park(2018)

Bhai: Vyakti Ki Valli (2019)

Producer(edit)

Pran Jaye Par Shaan Na Jaye (2003)

It Was Raining That Night (2005)

Shala (2012)

Television(edit)

YearShowRole2006Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 1Contestant2009Monica MogreCriminal in Case File No. 12009Specials @ 10Director of Har Kadam Par Shaque2009Arre Deewano Mujhe PehchanoHimself (contestant)2010Maharashtracha SuperstarHimself (Judge)2010C.I.D.HD (Harpeez Dongra)2015Agent Raghav - Crime BranchDilip Chauhan2018Bigg Boss Marathi 1Host2018Selection DaySir Tommy2019Bigg Boss Marathi 2Host2019Kaale DhandeAnna Bhai2019TVF CheesecakeMirza

References(edit)

^ abMultiple sources:

'Mahesh Manjrekar'. BollywoodMDb.

'Mahesh Manjrekar celebrates his birthday'. mid-day. 18 August 2012.

'5 things you did not know about birthday boy Mahesh Manjrekar|The Times of India'. The Times of India. 16 August 2014.

'Mahesh Manjrekar celebrates his Birthday | Indian Photo Agency'. indianphotoagency.com. 17 August 2012.

^'Mahesh Manjrekar'. IMDb.

^'The day my work suffers, I'll retire'. Rediff.com. 12 November 2001. Retrieved 21 August 2011.

^'Mahesh Manjrekar was MNS Candidate from Mumbai North West'. IANS. news.biharprabha.com. Retrieved 9 March 2014.

^'Celeb politicians: who won and who lost'. Hindustan Times. 16 May 2014. Retrieved 17 October 2014.

^Matkari, Ganesh; Matkari; 2020; Ist, 23:21 (28 February 2020). 'Kesari Movie Review'. Pune Mirror. Retrieved 3 March 2020.CS1 maint: numeric names: authors list (link)

^Adarsh, Taran (25 September 2020). 'FILMING BEGINS.. #MaheshManjrekar commenced shoot for thriller #TaxiNo24 in #Mumbai.. Costars #JagjeetSandhu and #AnangshaBiswas.. Directed by Saumitra Singh.. Produced by Saviraj Shetty'. Twitter.

External links(edit)

Mahesh Manjrekar on IMDb

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Retrieved from 'https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Mahesh_Manjrekar&oldid=992249866'

Director: Sudesh Manjrekar https://infiniloading30.tumblr.com/post/654215800404819968/rivala-matha-song-mp3-free-download.

Producer: Great Maratha Entertainment

Writers: Mahesh Waman Manjrekar (Story and Screenplay) and Raveen Tarade (Dialogues)

Cast: Jitendra Joshi, Veena Janmkar, Gauri Ingawale, Mihir Soni, Siddharth Jadhav, Manasi Naik, Vaibhav Mangale, Bhalchandra Kadam

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Movie

Music: Ajit-Sameer & Abhijeet Kawthalkar

Rating: * * ½ Paretologic data recovery pro 2.2 0.0 crack.

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Full

Plot: Even though they struggle to make ends meet, Namdeo (Jitendra Joshi) and Ganga (Veena Janmkar) live a peaceful life with their children Laxmi (Gauri Ingawale) and Subhan (Mihir Soni). Namdeo, who works as a gardener, will go any heights to fulfill the wants of his family. He even does some extra work and bears all pains with a smile. However, their simple life turns ugly when they are faced with a number of obstacles.

Namdeo receives unconditional family-like support from his friend Magic Mamu (Siddharth Jadhav) and his wife Saira (Manasi Naik).

(For more reviews and information on Marathi cinema, click here.)

Review: Parents are always expected to work hard to present a better or a comfortable life to their children. But how acceptable is when children take up the responsibility to better the lives of their parents? Such an unusual yet interesting question is explored in Sudesh Manjrekar’s Kutumb. The characters and some of the events surely succeed in moving the audience but due to the writing and execution (in some parts), the film turns out to be just a one-time watch.

During the initial moments, the writers and the director use the visual medium very intelligently. The nature of the four characters, the love between them, their problems and their everyday life is described without much use of dialogues. And once Siddharth Jadhav’s character is introduced, the proceedings get a booster. But there was no need to include two songs without any gap to prove the dancing skills of the two kids. Despite that, the first half manages to lay a decent foundation.

Kutumb Marathi Movie 2006 Watch

The events that follow are appealing alright. But now the film starts treading on predictable lines. An over-emotional scene (not possible to reveal more), involving one of the main characters, appears silly. But what hurts the most is how the audience is made to watch a dance reality show for a long duration later on. The pre-climax and the climax should have been framed in a way that it gets the audience rooting for the kids.

A very interesting fact is observed in a number of Mahesh Manjrekar’s films including Kutumb. The main protagonist receives tremendous help from a supporting character who is Muslim by religion. Apart from Kutumb (where Jadhav plays Joshi’s friend), this is seen in his earlier films Kurukshetra, Viruddh, Vaah! Life Ho To Aisi!, Mee Shivajiraje Bhosale Boltoy and Shikshanachya Aaicha Gho. Co-incidentally, in three of the six films mentioned, Jadhav has played the concerned character.

Technical aspects like cinematography (Ajith Reddy) and background score can be included in the plus points. The editing is fine but it should have been tighter during the dance reality show scenes. Ajit-Sameer and Abhijit Kawthalkar’s music suits the film. Dialogues (Pravin Tarde) are effective and moving.

The performance area is the biggest plus point. Jitendra Joshi is brilliant as he pours his heart out while playing a caring father and husband. He is on a roll this year. Vena Janmkar too gets into the skin of her character with perfection and presents a realistic act. Gauri Ingawale and Mihir Soni deserve huge applause for not only giving mature performances but also showing some terrific dancing skills.

Siddharth Jadhav presents a lovable act. Manasi Naik is likable too. Vaibhav Mangale plays the bad guy well while Bhalchandra Kadam, his sidekick, is not bad either.

Overall, Kutumb can be seen once if you prefer emotional family dramas. The film will need positive word-of-mouth to succeed at the box-office. It will face opposition from next week’s awaited No Entry Pudhe Dhoka Aahey.

[cerastes]

O-K so I finally got off Helltime, and now I have the Time to write something I’ve been meaning to: Doki Doki Literature Club prim and proper critique.

Now, you’ve seen me gush about the game, you’ve seen me recommend it to everyone I thought would enjoy it, you’ve seen me go through post-media depression after it, and it is precisely because I enjoyed it so much that I want to do a proper, serious post about it as a piece of media.

This post obviously contains massive spoilers for DDLC. Look away now if you have not read it yet and wish to experience it at full power.

NOW, what is Doki Doki Literature Club? It’s a Visual Novel, but not quite a Visual Novel, I’d say it’s more of a Visual Experience, kind of like a roller coaster. It sure is a read, a short read, but a read nonetheless, but you are not there just for the narrative: The gimmicks and the aesthetic are why you are here. Much like a roller coaster, you also don’t go through it too many times unless you really love it. Aside from the critique, I want to explain why I believe DDLC made amazing use of its medium and choice of narrative to do what it set out to do.

Now, you may say it’s a metanarrative with a heavy emphasis on glitches disguised as a cutesy dating sim, except, you don’t go into it expecting a cutesy dating sim, you go into it knowing something’s funky. The game is honest about it. It has a very serious, very thorough warning right on the get go, and it says to check a specific link to see more in detail. This not only makes it a fair warning, but it also doesn’t spoil anything to those that don’t want to see the warning/don’t need it. That’s a good touch. It’s never disguised, as much as it is stylized as a cutesy dating sim with something lurking within. This is important to note because it’s not a Surprise Genre Change or anything like that: What you get is what was intended for you to know from the get go.

DDLC was never intended as tight narrative, it was always intended to be an experience. It’s definitely not lacking as a narrative, but it’s not deep, either, and I’d say bare bones in some parts. DDLC did not discover the Wheel 2, that is, it’s not a revolutionary read, because it never intended to be a revolutionary read: It was always an experience from the get go. You are not there for the deep, intricate characters, you are there for what is done with the basic characters you get, and with the medium they are presented through. What does this mean? Let’s find out.

The base cast is a very simple selection of tropes we are all familiar with: Sayori, the childhood friend and catalyst as to why the story starts. Yuri, the sweet, loving and yet reclusive and hurt well mannered lady. Natsuki, archetypal tsundere who is very demure and caring past the spicy exterior. Monika, all around ace and role model, good at everything, model student. The characters are nothing new, which, coupled with the previous warning, does raise a few flags immediately: Works with such hard-coded characters and with Something Lurking Within Them tend to be deconstructions or ham fisted parodies that set out to mock these things. An experienced reader will already be on guard.

But, it never goes there.

A lot of things happen in DDLC, but it never once mocks the medium. It never once holds a sign that says “ONLY DUMB VIRGINS PLAY DATING SIMS”, or one that says “THESE BASIC CHARACTERS ARE DUMB AND ONLY FOR LONELY NERDS”. Think about it. It never does. If you thought it did, congrats, that’s your own bias against metanarratives playing you. The closest it gets is Monika saying “You play these kinds of games? Well, that’s weird, but I won’t judge you, haha”. At no point does DDLC actually mock the tropes it employs or the people that enjoy them, it simply uses them to do something unexpected in another way. I really respect this because it’s really easy to just be like “HEHE, THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR. DID YOU EXPECT CUTE DATING, YOU VIRGIN?”, I legit thought that was going to happen, but it didn’t, and I appreciate it, because I can do without cynicism in every single piece of media I consume, especially metanarratives I enjoy so much.

Now, if it’s not a cruel mockery of tropes and those who peruse them, what DOES DDLC do with its “generic trope” characters? It plays them in two ways, both of which I enjoyed: TOO straight, and then subversively.

What does “TOO straight” mean? In Act 1, towards the end of it, you hear Sayori explain her depression. She doesn’t say “I have depression”, she explains her depression in a scene with dialogue that cut a little too deep in the skin of a lot of readers, myself included. The way she explains it, as someone who works in mental health, and as someone who had depression, is shocking because it’s what actual depression feels like. Ask anyone who has or had it, Sayori’s dialogue cut deep and caused this wave of empathy towards her from a lot of people because she’s unexpectedly realistic in this regard compared to what you usually see in fiction. It is, in fact, a recurring theme with the characters, shown subtly with the meatiest narrative resource it uses: The poems.

A rundown, using information from poems and implications from the girls’ dialogue:

Sayori had suicidal depression. Most of her words in the poem minigame refer to sorrow or suicide.

Yuri’s depression is linked to her immense loneliness, and she copes by cutting.

Natsuki is the most adjusted, but she receives regular beatings from her father, and it is implied that she’s so short compared to the other girls due to malnutrition.

We’ll cover Monika later.

DDLC does not make a mockery of the genre, as much as it injects a lot of realism to it that is alien to the genre and characterization. All these causes of depression, sadly, are very common among teenagers. It’s truly uncomfortable because it hits home.

From Act 2 and on, the characters are played subversively: This is when Monika’s tinkering has begun robbing the game of its stability, and has begun amping the bad aspects of the girls purposefully. The narrative heft here is much lower than in the first part of the game, where the poems were subtle windows; instead, here we are on the other side of the window, and the poems from the first part make sense.  No, the narrative heft is not the star here, from Act 2 and on, you are in the part where The Shit Has Gone Down, and you get to see the slow, slow devolution of these people, as they are aware of it. The files start going nuts, new documents appear in your game files, It’s All Gone To Shit, my dude.

A roller coaster is an apt metaphor for Doki Doki Literature Club: Act 1 is the ascent, where it’s all slow and nice and you are telling the person next to you that this can’t be that bad. Act 2 is when you get to the submit and then go down the super vertical rails of the roller coaster at 600 kilometers per hour, screaming in languages you didn’t even know you knew: That’s when the experience begins.

I need to put emphasis on the word experience. Salvato wasn’t making a meaty narrative with this game, and if you were expecting one, man, sorry, no, Salvato was making an experience, a roller coaster, something you go through, reach the end of, and say “FUCK YEAH”. Act 2 is the roller coaster’s descent.

All I want to say is that I am so very thankful to Salvato for making it an experience without any sort of arrogance. It’s rare for something this meta to not insult the medium it is using. It feels more like he just picked “Cutesy visual novel with this crazy glitchfest is what’s gotta go down” and went with it. That’s not to mention the amazing craft of the whole thing: Renpy is mostly a very basic Visual Novel engine that runs on Python, and easy and serviceable coding language. The shit he pulled in DDLC makes it clear he studied the engine in and out.

So with all this said and done, and my insistence on viewing this as an experience very clear, you might have noticed there’s someone we haven’t talked about.

Yup. That’s the topic we have left.

Just Monika.

Monika is the driving force behind the experience. Monika is the Big Meme. You see Monika where DDLC is mentioned. As of this writing, Monika has more followers in Twitter than Dan Salvato. But see, if you remove the wrapper from the candy, if you look beyond, what is behind Monika.

Not much.

And that’s wholly the point.

Monika is an NPC. Monika was never meant to be a love interest. Monika was the Bro Character that helps you get with the girls and cheers you on. You know who Monika was supposed to be?

Tomoda. Monika was supposed to be this extremely friendly but otherwise hollow nobody in the narrative.

Unfortunately, Monika has grown aware of her status as a fictional character. Monika achieved independence from the narrative, and turned the narrative into an experience. But, see, you can’t just create something from where there was nothing. If you put aside Monika’s obsession for you, you truly are left with nothing. Because that’s all she had in the first place: She existed as the Tomoda that only lives to help you out with the other girls. The was nothing beyond her in the first place. What does this result in? One of the purest Yandere in the latest years, if not the purest. Beyond you, there is nothing in her. Sure, she likes piano, she loves debate, she likes poems, but... There’s nothing inside. There’s nothing in there. What happens when you suddenly thrust conscience, sentience upon something hollow that only has one operative command to “support Person”?

She’ll only have Person to think about, and nothing beyond it.

Monika is not supposed to be a dream wife, she’s a pitiable creature of bites and unrequited love, because it is impossible to love her the way she loves you: To her, you are everything, but to you, she’s the shitter that made all of this happen in this game you picked up to see what was going on. That is fully intended. For her, you are everything she ever thought about for as long as she’s had sentience. For you, she’s that one girl that wasn’t even in the poem minigame and that always mostly hung in the background. 

If anything in this world ever made you think that the experience wanted you to feel anything for her except pity at how justifiably, tragically shallow she is, I have no clue what to tell you.

That’s what’s fascinating about Monika and why I love her character.

Because it’s just that.

It’s Just Monika.

There’s nothing inside. Deleting her is not like when you put a bullet through The Boss’ skull in MGS3, because holy shit, you have grown to understand the suffering and pain of The Boss. Deleting Monika is more akin to finding a grievously wounded dove that you tried your best to nurse back to health, but that is suffering too much and you have to put her out of her misery in order to do her the slightest and only favor you could to her in her short life. This is not interpretative, either: Whenever you close the game and reopen it, she tells you about her nightmares and how it feels like a brief yet eternal, intense, suffocating death: Even in her endgame situation, where supposedly everything is just as she wanted, she’s suffering so much.

The dove thinks you are its savior because you are the only one that tried to help it when both its wings broke. You have to kill the dove out of mercy because even in this state, it will only continue suffering. The dove also didn’t delete three other people.

It’s a pathetic mess.

It’s just Monika.

The other three characters, who you could say are overused tropes, are deeper characters than Monika already. It was always intended, and she never escaped this, even in sentience.

That’s all she ever was meant to be, as an NPC, and as someone who usurped being an NPC. She never could win.

I could adapt DDLC’s experience to the writing style of a Greek tragedy and you would be none the wiser. For Monika, it was always a King Midas situation.

So she’s the final triple horizontal twirls in a roller coaster.

The thing with metanarratives is that you have to be flexible when it comes to reading them. You can’t just throw a tantrum because it lacked something a narrative worth its salt should have; it’s not a narrative, it’s a metanarrative. Some metanarratives will follow more conventional rules, but they don’t have to. Don’t be a sheep for the status quo. This goes especially hard towards experienced readers. Think about Dadaism and its cultural context back in the day

So that’s that. DDLC doesn’t lack clarity of purpose, it’s purpose was always “a cool experience” first and foremost. It’s not that the plot “didn’t go anywhere”, the ‘plot’ went exactly where it had to: To the cool roller coaster triple twirls.

Of course, that is not to say that “ur dumb” if you think it’s a bad piece of media because it lacked those things or anything, I’m just saying “you were looking for fish at the beef steak menu”. Hell, you may even understand a lot of this and still think it could’ve done better with other things. That’s fair, all I am saying is that denouncing the experience for not being a narrative when it never tried to be one is like blaming the fish for not being beef steak. Sometimes you want a novel, sometimes you want a roller coaster. For me, personally, it’s how it played with its medium so wonderfully that made me fall deep in love with it, the files, the documents, the aesthetic... I went in for a roller coaster ride, and I got one.

If you are looking for a meaty, deep narrative with rich characterization and intricate plots, you are not looking for what DDLC has to offer.

If you are looking for a roller coaster, well, I have good news for you: Tickets are free, and I hope you enjoy the ride.

TL;DR: Not a powerful narrative, but a very powerful and fun experience.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LOVE AMONG THE TWO-BY-FOURS

S1;E3 ~ October 4, 1986

[Photo © Getty Images]

Directed by Mark Daniels ~ Written by Linda Morris and Vic Rauseo

Synopsis

Lucy's old flame Ben comes to town looking to enlist M&B Hardware as a supplier. Lucy and Ben rekindle their old romance, which causes Lucy to have to make a difficult decision about her future.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Barker), Gale Gordon (Curtis McGibbon), Ann Dusenberry (Margo Barker McGibbon),  Larry Anderson (Ted McGibbon), Jenny Lewis (Becky McGibbon), Philip Amelio (Kevin McGibbon), Donovan Scott (Leonard Stoner)

[For biographies of the Regular Cast, see “One Good Grandparent Deserves Another” (S1;E1)]

Guest Cast

Peter Graves (Ben Marshall) is perhaps best remembered for playing Jim Phelps in the Desilu-produced spy drama “Mission: Impossible” from 1967 to 1973. His screen acting career began in 1951, the same year “I Love Lucy” premiered. Graves won an Emmy Award as the host and narrator of “Biography” (1987-2002). In 1980, he turned to comedy with the film Airplane! and its sequel. Graves died of a heart attack on March 14, 2010, just four days before his 84th birthday.

Although the final credits list the character's surname as Marshall, he is referred to throughout the episode as Ben Matthews. Ben is president of the Beechwood Construction Company. He is a widower who has three grandchildren and lives in Beverly Hills. 

Curtis Taylor (Joe) started acting on television in 1980. He played Arnie on five episodes of “Knotts Landing” in 1988. More recently, he appeared on a 2017 episode of “NCIS: Los Angeles.”  

Ed Bernard (Tony) was born on Independence Day in Philadelphia in 1939. He played Detective Styles on “Police Woman” (1974-78) and Principal Willis on “The White Shadow” (1978-80).  

Joe and Tony are construction workers for Beechwood Construction Company. Although given names in the final credits, only Tony's is used in the dialogue. The two characters are there to establish the tarp over the hole in the floor that Lucy and Peter Graves will sink into at the end of the show.

This was the sixth episode filmed but was the third aired. After John Ritter's appearance the previous week, Ball hoped to continue to woo viewers with the star-power of Peter Graves.  

The title of the episode is a variation of Robert Browning's 1855 poem, “Love Among the Ruins.” Browning's poem inspired or gave its title to many subsequent works, including a painting by Edward Burne-Jones (above), a 1975 TV movie with Katharine Hepburn and Laurence Olivier, an episode of the TV series “Mad Men,” and an album and song by the band 10,000 Maniacs. The title of the poem is also made the title of a 1953 novella by British satirist Evelyn Waugh.

Lucillle Ball was featured on the cover of TV Guide the day this episode first aired. She shared the cover with Andy Griffith, who returned to series television with “Matlock.” Griffith's show fared much better than “Life With Lucy,” running nine seasons on NBC. Griffith had played Andy Johnson on an episode of “Here's Lucy” in 1973. “The Andy Griffith Show” was shot on the Desilu backlot.

This episode lost its time slot earning a 10.2 share behind “The Facts of Life” on NBC with a 15.2.

Although they are supposed to be playing characters of the same age, Lucille Ball was actually 15 years older than guest star Peter Graves.

This is the first of six “Life With Lucy” episodes directed by Marc Daniels, who directed the very first episode of “I Love Lucy” and 38 subsequent episodes. He is credited with suggesting to Desi Arnaz that Vivian Vance might be right for the role of Ethel Mertz. In a 1977 interview, Daniels noted that he left “I Love Lucy” to take another job that paid more. "Maybe it was a stupid thing to do but then we didn't know we were creating history. We were just doing a show." Daniels died at age 77, just three days before Lucille Ball, who also died at age 77 from a heart-related illness.  

This is the only time on the series that Lucille Ball wears a dress, rather than slacks, a housecoat or bathrobe.

At the start of the episode, Leonard is fooling around with a shower head display in the hardware store, pretending he is Scotty (James Doughan) on “Star Trek”: “Captain Kirk! Captain Kirk, it's Scotty here. Captain, the hardware ship Enterprise – it's losing power!”  “Star Trek” (1966-69) was a Desilu-produced show that owes its existence to Lucille Ball.  

Curtis: “I may become the bathroom king of Pasadena!”

We learn that Lucy Barker's maiden name is Everett. This is the first of her TV character that did not have the maiden name McGillicuddy. However, on “The Lucy Show” Lucy Carmichael first said she was originally Lucy Taylor. Later in the series she inexplicably claimed it was McGillicuddy.

Lucy calls Ben Matthews 'Goofy,' his high school nickname because he had an overbite and his ears drooped. This is a reference to the Disney animated dog Goofy, who shared these physical characteristics. Perhaps Ben had plastic surgery, because the description doesn’t match the handsome Peter Graves. 

Lucy: “I feel like a kid again!”

Lucy and Ben first met during a dance called the Big Apple. The dance dates back to the African American ritual dances of the mid-1800s. The name comes from its revival in the 1930s at The Big Apple Club in Columbia, South Carolina. In 1937 it became a national dance craze. It was mentioned in the films You Can't Take it With You (1938), Vivacious Lady (1938), and The Big Broadcast of 1938. The dance was first mentioned on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy Becomes a  Reporter” (TLS S1;E17) in 1963 which dealt with Lucy Carmichael and Viv Bagley's high school days.  

Later in the episode, Lucy and Ben demonstrate the Big Apple. After their 'performance' (to one of Lucy's old records), Kevin mentions the dance craze of the 1980s, break dancing, while Margo and Ted demonstrate 'The Monkey' and 'The Swim', two dances that were popular with teens in the 1960s.  

Lucy and Ben dated for a year, until his family moved East.  

Lucy: (gazing at herself in a mirror) “I still have it!”

Lucy says Ben was her first kiss, which prompts Margo to remember that her first kiss with Randy Fargo, whose lips were all spongy; like two Twinkies.

When Becky is practicing kissing with a hand mirror, she says she looks “a little like Madonna, but a lot like a fish.”

Margo: (To Lucy) “Do you remember when I was 13, and all my girlfriends were going stead. Finally Randy Fargo asked me to go steady.  Do you remember what you told me?”

Lucy: “Yeah, I told you there was no future in the name Margo Fargo.”

Ben brings Lucy to a construction site for their date, packing a picnic with their favorite bubbly, chateau de Dr. Pepper. Ben brings along a mini-tape player to play their favorite song, “Too Marvelous for Words.” The song was written in 1937 by Johnny Mercer, with lyrics (that we don't hear) by Richard Whiting. Lucy and Ben dance among the two-by-fours, fulfilling the title!  

Lucy: (eating a chocolate chip cookie) “If this gets around my name'll be mud at the Happy Fig Health Food Store.”

In two episodes of “The Lucy Show” Lucy Carmichael dated Frank Winslow (Clint Walker) who owned a construction company and also took Lucy on a date to a construction site.  

In “Milton Berle Hides out at the Ricardos” (LDCH 1959), a construction site also figures into the comic finale.

Margo stays up and waits for Lucy to come home from her date just the same way Lucy Carmichael stayed up and waited for her daughter in the very first “The Lucy Show” “Lucy Waits Up for Chris” (TLS S1;E1).

This Day in Lucy History ~ October 4th

"The Business Manager" (ILL S4;E1) – October 4, 1954

"Lucy and Mannix Are Held Hostage" (HL S4;E4) – October 4, 1971

[cmbynreviews]

Luca Guadagnino on the music of his movies, and why he had to have Sufjan Stevens for “Call Me by Your Name”

Luca Guadagnino makes sumptuous movies, and so he needs sumptuous music for their soundtracks. The Italian director has used the works of Sufjan Stevens, the Rolling Stones, and, often, American composer John Adams to elucidate the emotions his impressionistic camera draws from his actors. In his latest film, Best Picture contender Call Me by Your Name, this includes a heartbreaking scene of a young man staring into a fire, crying, while one of Stevens’ original songs plays over the crackle of the flames. The rest of the film varies wildly from that deep moment, whether it’s excellent skanking soundtracked by the Psychedelic Furs or Bach performed on the piano as seduction.

To further understand how he thinks about music (and, honestly, to fan out about John Adams), we called Guadagnino to discuss what music has meant to his life and his films. Clearly the pairings are paying off: Just today, Stevens was nominated for Best Original Song at the Oscars, for “Mystery of Love.”

Pitchfork: Call Me By Your Name begins with John Adams’ “Hallelujah Junction” playing over the title credits, and I Am Love’s soundtrack is entirely Adams’ music. What is it about his music that you love? Luca Guadagnino: I discovered John Adams’ music in 2005, when I was editing a movie in Spain. It was my birthday, and the legendary Gareth Whigham, an executive from Sony who I was working with, gave me, as a present, “Naive and Sentimental Music" by John Adams. I put the disc in the CD player, and suddenly when those first notes, dun dun dun started, I immediately got completely kidnapped by the musical world of John Adams. Since that first epiphany, I started to dig in to him. I started to look for everything that I could find recorded by John Adams, and I became a sort of an encyclopedia of what he has done as a musician.

There is something Wagnerian and also something minimalist into his music, which I found very fantastic because he just goes beyond the strict rules the minimalists gave to themselves. The world of the music of John Adams is a world that comes with a very great package of intellect that I found fantastic. It comes with a capacity of interpreting reality, interpreting the history of the reality, interpreting the history of the United States, and understanding even the boundaries of music to become a cunning exploration of the identity of human nature and the politic relationship that ties all us in. I can’t think of how to put it differently.

John Adams comes to me constantly. I can say to you that really that moment in 2005 was transformative and changed my life as a director forever. The ambition I have, that I blush in speaking it out with someone, is that maybe, one day, John Adams will compose a soundtrack for me.

How did you end up using his music for your 2009 film, I Am Love? I started to work on the shoot with his music. We edited the movie with his music and then we faced the brutality of the fact that we didn’t have the rights to his music. What we did is that Tilda Swinton [who stars in the film] wrote him a letter and he replied. He said, “I’m happy to see your film.” We showed the movie to him, and at the end of it he turned to us and he said, “Fantastic. I’m happy. And I also want to ask you if you can put music by John Adams in the main title?” Which is something that I really wanted to do, and I didn’t dare to ask, but he asked himself.

How did that feel? It felt fantastic.

So many of your films involve the piano, either in the script or on the soundtrack. What is your relationship with that instrument? I don’t know. I’m not an expert. I go through music in a way that has to do with my instinct, by the way. I like the concept of piano as a dialogue. There’s a great, beautiful album by Ryuichi Sakamoto called “Back to the Basics”, in which the great, legendary Sakamoto reflects on his own roots that you see in Ravel; he creates this beautiful piano poem that is completely inspired by that great French musician. I found, in that work, the sum of what I feel is piano for me, which has to do with dialogue. It’s a dialogue. In fact, in Call Me by Your Name, we have extensive usage of piano because those notes, in a way, are the interior and exterior dialogue between Elio and himself, and Elio and Oliver.

When you were Elio’s age, what were you listening to? I was listening to soundtracks. I think I was listening to Sakamoto.

Was that a cool thing to listen to when you were 17? My absolutely dear... I don’t understand the concept of being cool. I have been seeing a lot of people basically going through their lives in the attempt of being cool. I don’t know what that means. I can’t think of myself as striving for coolness. I think I’m the most uncool person in the room. Always have been, and maybe even proudly so. No, I would have never, ever, ever, ever done something for the reason of trying to be cool or because it’s cool. I did it because I loved it. In 1987, I went to see The Last Emperor, which is Bertolucci’s nine-Academy-Award winner. I’ve been blown away by the movie and by the soundtrack, which was David Byrne, Cong Su, and Ryuichi Sakamoto. I bought myself the CD, I played it and played it. That Sakamoto, I think probably nobody knew that I was listening to him because I basically was listening to Sakamoto in the solitude of my bedroom. I did it because it was a sort of deep inspiration for me, again.

The reason I ask that is because Elio wears that Talking Heads shirt throughout the film, and you have this feeling that he’s wonderfully of two minds, one more classically minded and intellectual, and one where he just wants to be a kid and feel excited about rock music that’s young. What you listen to helps define who you are at that age. Absolutely, I agree with you. But I don’t think that someone who is in academia who is going through an upbringing in the classical world is necessarily devoid of intellect for the pop world. I don’t think that Elio, being the bright young man who wants to be a great pianist, who is invested in culture because he lives in a world of culture, has learned that culture is an elitist thing that shuts off everything else and only gives life to just the high art. I think what he has learned, as a kid interested in culture, is that culture is the complex element that makes our life what it is, which includes everything. A speech. The body of someone you desire. The music of the Talking Heads. The leaves on a tree. Everything. I think the great mistake we would do as people, and for me as a filmmaker, is to say that to be invested in the classical world means that you are not invested in the real world. They are part of the world at large.

Why did you want Sufjan Stevens to write original music for Call Me by Your Name? I believe Sufjan is one of the greatest American artists. Someone pointed out his music to me six years ago and I got to be enamored with his voice. Then the more I delved into his canon, the more I detected the greatness of his lyrics, the complexity of his body of work.

His song “Visions of Gideon,” which plays over the end credits, is so crucial to the movie, it’s like the song and that scene couldn’t exist without the other. In the script, you have a line at the end saying, “Elio stares at the fire and thinks of his life.” It was always in my mind that he tended to be with one shot. I also thought about putting different kinds of songs in that moment. This was before I got the music from Sufjan. Then Sufjan showed me these songs. I was one week into shooting and I listen to the songs. I was with my editor and with Armie and Timothée, and we were shocked by the beauty, commitment, and attitude in these songs. So we immediately felt that “Visions of Gideon” was the perfect song for this moment in which Elio thinks of his life. When we shot the scene, I put the earbud in Timothée’s ear and played the song for him.

There is very prominent dancing in both Call Me by Your Name and A Bigger Splash, your 2015 film. How did the Bigger Splash scene with Ralph Fiennes dancing to the Rolling Stones, which is now pretty legendary, come together? Well, there was a great line in the script that Dave Kajganich wrote, in which he said, “Dance, it is life.” We see the way he dances. That was our guideline for me and Ralph Fiennes.

Did you like “Emotional Rescue” before the movie came out? I couldn’t stop listening to it after I saw the movie! You’re asking me if I like the song? Of course! I have complete control over my work. I would never put a song in a movie that I don’t think is a great thing to be doing.

What about the dancing in the Italian clubs in Call Me by Your Name? How much was that choreographed? We had a consultant that created the movements for the crowds. We had kids that were playing kids of the ’80s, but they were kids of the 2000s. Armie created his own choreography and he adapted that to the historical precision, and then Timothée jumped in and made it his own, which was great. It’s a mixture of historical accuracy and hubris.

Do you like to dance? If I’m drunk, I do. But I don’t drink a lot so it’s something that’s happened, I would say, three times, four in my life. The last time that I was drunk and I danced was at the party for Call Me by Your Name.

What were you listening to? I DJ’ed and I put just ’80s music, from the famous international ’80s pieces to the tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky Italian music of the ’80s.

Were you a big Italo disco fan in the ’80s? No, I was more interested in the pop music of the ’80s – Mina, Patty Pravo, Loredana Berté – that we use in this film, that are possibly the typical brand of upbringing for a young gay guy, in Italy. But that, I understood afterwards.

MATTHEW SCHNIPPER | PITCHFORK | 23 Jan 2018

[parapluiepliant]

Creator 2017 Tag Meme

I was tagged by: @tenthebookworm, @sly2o, @tracylorde, @stardust-blake and @pendragaryen.

Thank you so much, ladies! It's an awesome idea that boosts not only our confidence in our work but hopefully also the knowledge about well-deserving but maybe still overlooked content providers in the fandom. :)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created in 2017 (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3

In no particular order:

1. Bellamy Blake Modern AU –  Blake returns with new album and band  “Patroclus Perish” (Fake Instagram page plus mini fanfiction):

First of all, I have no Photoshop so all the edits and gifs I do are made from scratch and for some features that are easily done in PS, I have to experiment to get the same effect (or to get it close enough) in my editing software.

That's the reason why this one in particular was pretty fun but also challenging because I wanted to include a video preview (and I also wanted to get the font close to the original). Overall, the edit as well as the mini fanfiction in form of a news article (did I get the tone right as someone who is a learner of English?) were done within a short amount of time because I had this weird creator's rush. You feel the spark and suddenly, you're in a flow and you're eager to finish it. One of the best moods to be honest!

Tumblr messed up the formatting at first which caused the text to disappear, so I had to make a new post. Bad tumblr!

2. Morning Routine (Fanfiction about Baby!Bellamy)

Morning Routine was born pretty much the same way after I had a spark of inspiration. It's also the fanfiction I consider a Parapluiepliant Original and which I consider my very first fanfiction I have ever written (and posted!) because Token , Faith and Foresight, were still inspired by dialogue bits from Lord of the Rings (even though the mix of LotR dialogue bit with Bellarke has some scenes I came up with). And I got some nice comments for that one which is a plus. ;)

The story is basically about Bellamy's father taking care of his son on the Ark before he is called to help out engineers on a routine check up. I really liked how I wrote the ending paragraph and it all came together in the end. It is bittersweet with all its implications, same as the title with its double meaning which only adds to the the feeling when you have finished the story.

3. Exactly how long does it take to tell someone you love them? (Gif Set to one of wellsjahasghost’s 5(+) fic celebration)

This one was inspired by wellsjahasghost‘s 5(+) sentence fics celebration. When I read that specific paragraph for the first time, I was hit pretty hard by all the Bellarke feels, something which only a few have managed so far with their writing. I was immediately struck by the idea of how I'd want to use each sentence.

You could say that I tried to visualize a fanfiction and to get the feeling right, I also played a bit with fonts and colours to indicate memories and text passages in contrast to Bellamy's thoughts.

4. “What if our hearts could be connected like constellations?” (A Bellarke Gif Set using a quote and a folklore about Altair and Vega/Hikoboshi and Orihime)

This is the one I'm really proud of because it is the first gif set where I tried to be a bit more creative. It combines a few thoughts I had here: I used an overlay of the Milky Way to indicate the separation of Bellamy and Clarke similar to Altair and Vega, thus having Altair's star on Bellamy and Vega's on Clarke.

In many stories all over the world, Altair and Vega were lovers separated by the Milkyway. And in Japan, there is a tale that Orihime (literally a weaving princess) and Hikoboshi (literally a star boy), coresponding to Vega and Altair respectively, are only able to meet once a year. Clarke Princess Griffin and Bellamy Starfreckled Blake had to wait 6 years to meet again. So basically their hearts are like stars connected like the constellations aforementioned.

5. The 100 Season 5 Poster Competition

I tried my luck but without any success. However, I'm actually quite proud of it though. Especially, the delinquents in space looking out of the window was challenging as heck (because finding decent pictures of their backs is hard!).

Honorary mention goes to:

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/156548344371/ice-king-baby-i-cannot-believe-that-aaron-and 

(Season 4 Countdown picture of Roan in which I gave him a E-guitar instead of a sword, so he can enter the song-clave to battle them all with his rendition of Ice Ice Baby and which might also be a good idea to get Zach's signature on)

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/162841250346/your-list-was-pragmatic-2x09-remember-me-4x04

(aka the one where I contrasted Clarke's way to tell people that the list was pragmatic and is offended that Jaha implies that other's misundertood it as her telling them they are without value with the famous 'It's worth the risk scene' because Clarke often has that problem to really articulate what she means...WHICH IS WHY SHE TELLS BELLAMY IMPLICITLY THAT SHE THINKS HE'S SPECIAL BY SAYING HIS SISTER WILL COME TO RECOGNIZE IT IN TIME AS WELL. MY HEART!!!!)

> https://parapluiepliant.tumblr.com/post/166082564056/inspired-by-lang-leav-lovers-paradox-from-the 

(really liked how I was able to make the list scene colours look warm but still maintained a bit of the blue light; I also thought that Leav's poem with a little change worked perfectly with some of the communication issues those two idiots in love have)

[btw I never noticed how much edits and text posts I already did! Maybe I'm going to reblog/queue them again because my tags are a mess(TM) and trying to find them all was a hassle...probably missed some due to that too]  

I encourage everyone seeing this to participate, no matter how small or insignificant you think you are. Let's make some noise and have fun! I really like to see some new blogs and boost their creative works, so please tag me in your post and I put it into my queue to keep it going. :)

No pressure tag: @blyedeeks, @thehundredbellarke, @as-inevitable-as-morning and @moonaskingtostay

[mysticsparklewings]

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 25: Hymn to Life

I'm not laughing you're not joking under black sky with pure white stars the moonlight dances on the blue grass I want to ask "tell me, how are you?" but the rain inside is loud and gray so instead I simply say "I love you present tense" and drift into the silver after

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Oh, I should have known that the last week wouldn't be safe from treachery! T_T

Today my poetic archnemesis from Day 5 returns in the form of another long list of nonsense for a prompt. Technically, this prompt (stemming from James Schuyler's Hymn to Life wasn't quite so bad, but Jesus Christ the poem it comes from is easily the longest poem I've ever encountered that was not proceeded by the word "epic."

Also, if I may complain freely for a moment, the phrase used on napowrimo.net to introduce this prompt makes my blood boil: "Because it’s a Saturday, I have an (optional) prompt for you that takes a little time to work through..." Because as far as I'm concerned, NO. Absolutely not. Saturday is supposed to be the easy day, the day off! Not the hard day, the day that "takes a little time to work through!"

*Huffs* I'll put the lid on that for now, though, lest this becomes the long list of reasons I'm highly considering either not doing NaPoWriMo next year, or at least not following the prompts from napowrimo.net. That's a discussion for another time, perhaps an end-of-NaPo journal reflecting on the whole month.

As a bit of an aside, don't get me wrong, long-form poetry does have a place in this world. I've read some pretty great longer-ish (but not nearly as long as this Schuyler guy's) poems right here on dA. But I am firm believer that prompts/a prompt list should be relatively short themselves, and then it's up to the person using the prompts to make them as long, short, complex, or simple as they like. So I was pretty darn irritated to see that yet again we'd been given a long list of, essentially, individual prompts wearing a "one prompt" trenchcoat.

Regardless, I tried my best to incorporate the "requirements" listed on the first page the link takes you to, which goes like this:

• Bring your perspective and verbs back to the present tense, even when addressing memory 

• Seek the “unforced flow of words”

• Introduce all of the things that you might ordinarily deem incidental or too small for consideration

• Include quoted speech (overheard, announced, in dialogue, as song lyrics)

• Build your lines with associative accumulation (parataxis), move with your attentions

• Introduce a swerve or observation that serves as interjection, non-sequitur

• Include at least four colors

• Animate the landscape or nearby object, imbue it with the expressiveness of action or address

• Include perceptions of the weather without, perceptions of weather within

• Use a noun as verb that is typically not used that way (anthimeria): “white freaked with red”

• Introduce the occasional 3- and 4-word sentence.

• “Let’s make a list”: include a list of things you love

• Did you remember to ask questions?

• Include a hemistich line: a line made-up of two halves, of equivalent beats, hinged on a silent beat (caesura): “The world is all cut-outs then—and slip or step steadily down”

And yet, some of them got left out because I was hopelessly confused by some of the terms and was running out of both ideas and space. I looked up all the ones I didn't understand, and I tried my best, because that's all I could do. (Seriously though, is it just me or do poets that dare to make prompts like to phrase regular speech as confusingly as possible? Do you want people to understand what you want them to do or not? Because from where I'm standing it's looking like not.)

Here's the thing; any 1-2 of these "rules" would be interesting to play with by themselves. But for a mini-magnet poem, trying to shove them all together in a way that makes sense becomes tedious and starts to stretch one or the other idea too thin. For example, the whole list to me kind of flies in the face of the idea of the "unforced flow of words," because with a laundry list like that you're going to have to start forcing something somewhere to hold on to anything sensical.

In fact, this "prompt" almost tricked me into thinking I'd enjoy it because it started with the thing about the present tense, a concept which is touched on in some of my favorite books by John Green and I'm rather attracted to.

From the John Green bit, I ended up trying to incorporate each impossible request around that, and the results create something of a story/image that for me goes as so: Person A is lying out under the stars, reflecting on their time doing such a thing before with Person B, who is no longer there for one reason or another (most likely death, but not necessarily). And if you know anything about John Green books, this idea is pretty in line with how they usually operate. I can't say much more than that though without drifting into spoiler-y territory, though.

I also decided the moment I say what a monstrosity of prompt this was that I'd be using one of the remaining mandalas I'd made before NaPo started, which I've more or less been saving in case of a "poetic emergency" where I didn't have time to make a new one, much like how for Day 5's equally ridiculous prompt I did the same thing. Thus, it doesn't pair super neatly with the poem, but I think it works to a certain extent.

And that's really all I have to say. I think I've more than made my point that I did not like this prompt and I really just want to put it squarely behind me and move on.

Please, person that comes up with the NaPoWriMo prompts, please don't use any more of these long, arduous lists for prompts. There are only five days to go, I beg of you to stick to middling-to-easy prompts for my and the mini-magnets' sanity's sake.

(As if they're actually going to read this...)

____

Artwork/Poem © me, MysticSparkleWings

Inspired by FridgePoetProject

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Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram