#all the characters just fall so flat on their face no pun intended since they are literally the thickness of a sheet of paper

[the-acid-pear]

SFM is just evil man is a game with such potential that falls so behind like its so short and the characters get so little development which sucks because they're fucking beautiful and fun and great so i want to see more but there isn't more and the puzzles are fun (except for the toothbrush that's just stupid) but it also has a lot of bugs like RONBO SOFT LOCKING YOU AS SOON AS LIKE, DAY 3 and its like guuhhhgjhrrg rips my hair off.

[adventuresofclever]

CleverMax: SDCC 2021 Masquerade Entry

Comic-Con@Home Masquerade Entry: Adventures of Clever Costume Title: CleverMax - Mr. Clever as a Borderlands boss Costume Description: Recreation of Mr. Clever from the Doctor Who episode Nightmare in Silver, written by Neil Gaiman, done in the style of the video game, Borderlands. Bio: They/He pronouns

Greetings all!

I realized that I never wrote about how I made my CleverMax mashup cosplay, so when SDCC posted about their At Home masquerade, I figured this was the perfect time to do so! Most of you know that I cosplay exclusively as Mr. Clever from Doctor Who, with the random mash up thrown in here and there. I’ve always wanted to be a Borderlands cosplayer, and the following is how I managed to combine the two together.

As always, enjoy the blog and if there are any questions, please feel free to contact me. 

Let’s step into the TARDIS and jump back to October 20, 2009, when the first Borderlands game was released. It was my first foray into FPS (First person shooters) and I was hooked from day one. In 2012 they released Borderlands 2 which is, in my not so humble opinion, the best video game ever created. We got some of the most iconic charcters and storylines in that game. Including the best DLC ever, Bunkers and Badasses. And my second favorite villain of all time – Handsome Jack.

Jack’s sass, sarcasm and charm fits well with Mr. Clever’s personality. And in the pre sequel you get to play a version of him called the Dopplegnager.  I mean, this pretty much wrote itself.

Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2 and Mr. Clever from Doctor Who

Borderlands cosplayers have aIways left me in a state of awe and admiration. The style of the game is so unique and seeing it recreated in person is nothing short of incredible. I’ve always wanted to figure out a way to be a Borderlands cosplayer. For the past eight years I have only ever cosplayed as Mr. Clever from Doctor Who. In the summer of 2019 I decided that was the perfect time to try to make this happen before NYCC.

When I initially decided to do this, it was going to be more of a mash up between Handsome Jack and Mr. Clever. I had planned on wearing Jack’s basic outfit, but in Clever’s colors with the a few add ons. Namely the bow tie and the cybernetics.

After much research and drafting, I decided against that. I ended up just turning Mr. Clever into a Borderlands boss. Same basic outfit as Mr. Clever/11th Doctor, but cel shaded and with weapons, cause Borderlands.

I made the accessories, chess set, and obviously the working cyberplanner piece itself for my Nightmare in Silver version of Clever, but I have never tackled anything this ambitious. An entire costume from scratch? Not something I thought I could do. Not knowing how to sew and being visually impaired were both challenges that I had to work around.

I started with looking around my house for various items that I thought I could use. I figured if I messed up, might as well mess up on something I hadn’t spent money on yet! I was going to toss a pair of my old paddock boots as they had some rips in the leather. Ripped leather? How very Pandora. They were the first thing I tackled.

Old paddock boots that I refurbished for the cosplay

This was my first time using leather paint and I have to say I am very pleased with the Angelus brand of leather paint. I have worn these in the rain and through puddles, and they have held up 100%.

After the boots were done, I started on the vest. I had an old black vest lying around the house that was sort of the shape and size I wanted. I don’t have a dress form, so I put it on myself, inside out, and used safety pins to make it the size I needed, then hand sewed around the safety pins. Not ideal, but it works.

I had a spare pair of black jeans, button down light blue shirt and a plain bow tie that I just ended up cel shading.

The only item that I really couldn’t figure out was the purple frock coat. Try as I might, I couldn’t find one to modify. So the coat was actually made by my friend Heather Long. I did alter the length after NYCC. 

With the clothes themselves all set, for the most part anyay, it was time to paint. This was my first time trying to recreate the art style of Borderlands, often referred to as cel shading. I have a few “art of Borderlands” style books that I poured over before I sat down to attempt this.

Other than the accessories and anything leather, I used the same materials and techniques for each article of clothing. Instead of describing each seprate piece, I’ll just explain what I did to achieve the overall look.

When you look at a Borderlands character on screen, it can be a bit overwhelming. So many colors, and so many nuances of each color. I did my best to visually sift through all that, and try to establish what I thought was the base color.

Once the base color was determined, I just added blotches, blobs, shading, low lights, highlights and other variations of the base color itself throughout each piece. I recommend keeping your fabric wrinkled and using those wrinkle as guidlenes for where the lines and shading would fall naturally.

Once all of that dried, I then went over different sections of the fabric with white and black lines. To get that crisp, almost comic book looking outline of each piece I used black sharpie, and white fabric pens as well as white fabric paint.

When I sat down to do the coat, I wanted something a little different than just cel shading. During a second playthrough of Tales from the Borderlands, I noticed Rhys and other characters had interesting logos and designs on the back of their jackets. I ended up putting a chessboard pattern on the back as a homage to the chess game between the 11th Doctor and Mr. Clever in the episode.

Great shot of the chess board and my Judd Nelson pose

The materials that I used for all of the clothing items were craft paints that I had around the house. Any brand works, but I prefer Americana paints. I then added an additive that you use to make the paint water proof and used various sized brushes. Dry brushes are also very useful if you have them.

Black sharpies of different sizes and any fabric markers are also very helpful. Heat setting is required to make the paint waterpfoof, so if you mess up before you add sharpies, you can wash the clothes and start over.

A few tips if you decide to undertake cel shading clothing: Until now I hadn’t noticed that there aren’t many thing in Borderlands that are true black. Due to the art style most things that appear black are in reality shades of grey, with a grey base colr. This makes it easier to add the lines, shading, and what not.  Looking back, I should have bought GREY clothes. It was a ton of work to make the pants look like they were a mixture of greys. And as a result of so many laers of paint, they are stiff, lost their stretch and feel an entire size smaller! So I would recommend grey fabric as a base for black clothing and buy a size larger.

The pants are so stiff that I think they will stand up on their own

This entire process was way more fun than I thought it would be and I’ve since become addicted to cel shading anything I can. I may or may not have started cel shading my guest room. 

After the clothing was finished, I started on some accessories and props. The first being the easiet – a wee little cybermite that I cel shaded. My cosplay of Mr. Clever always has a cybermite on my lapel, so I took one of my older ones and repainted it.

You can’t have a Borderlands character without some sort of weapon, so I painted a nerf gun that looks similar to the one that Clara Oswald holds in the episode.

I have never had to carry a gun for my Mr. Clever cosplay before so weapon checks are sort of new to me. I didn’t want to go through that at NYCC so I came up with a clever, no pun intended, way around it.

I took a photo of each side of the gun. Went to Staples and had them printed on heavy cardstock. Then I cut around the guns, glued them together between a piece of cardboard then added some black electical tape around the edges.  Viola. Instant weapons check approved gun that is lightweight, and also acts a fan when it gets hot. It was a huge hit at the con. A few security guards were like “ we have to check your…wait..is that flat?” And they proceeded to play with it. I highly recommend doing this!

Gun and its flat counterpart

I am holding the flat gun in this picture from NYCC

In the actual game, you can equip your characters with mods that give them certain abilities and bonuses. In the Pre-Sequel, you can play as a Dopplganger of Handsome Jack so I searched for some of his mods and found one in purple which seemed perfect. I made the mod with cardboard, covered it in craft foam, modge podge to set, and installed led lights. The first time I wore it I put it on my belt which didn’t work. It kept falling off. I eventually put it on my lapel and wore it like Jack does. Unfortunately, someone glomped on me at a con and broke it, so I recently had to remake it all over again.

No Borderlands costume would be complete without cel shading on yourself. This was a huge challenge for me for a few reasons. One, I’m visually impaired so doing line work like this was challenging. Two, I am highly allergic to so many materials and ingrediants that finding a make up brand that I could wear was a trial and error process that ended up with many break outs and rashes before I found the perfect combination.

I used mostly eye liner pencils and liquid eye liner to achieve the look. The Wet n Wild liquid eye liner lasts forever, and is actually difficult to remove, but that is not a bad thing as it stood up to the heat of a very crowded venue.

As for the cel shading itself, I relied on many refernce photos of various characters in the game. I started with the eyebrows first as that seemed to frame the face nicely and give me a nice mischvieous look. I then just outlined the bones of my face, adding some random lines here and there. It never looks the same way twice, but that’s ok. Playing with different angles, lines, shading etc is half the fun!

The only real challenge were my hands. The make up didn’t last that long on my hands so I had to touch it up throughout the con. I also eventually started to use band aids that I cel sahded to cover up a tattoo on my inner wrist.

Figuring what to do with my hair is an on going process that I still haven’t 100% mastered. I opted to not use a foam wig as I have over heating issues on a cool day let alone trying to wear one if it gets warmer. I have had adverse reactions to craft foam in the past, so I don’t want it touching my skin, and lastly, I think a wig AND a facial prosthetic would be too much for me. So I decided to just cel shade my hair.

This takes forever to do, and I’m still figuring out better techniques every time I wear it.

I have a really great brand of colored gel, called Mofajang which I apply with a baster brush that you would find in the kitchen gadgets aisle. I also use a clean mascara brush to add some finer lines here and there. Set with way more hair spray than I ever used in the 80’s and it becomes fairly waterproof.

I have learned that due to how hard the make up and hair color is to remove, I really need to wear this on the LAST day of a con. I made the mistake of wearing it on day one of Long Island Who one year, and spent hours scrubbing my skin and hair for the next day. Far better to just leave the con with a tad bit of left over cel shading. Which makes it very interesting when you stop at a roadside bathroom on the trip home.

With the entire costume done it was time to work on the actual cyberplanner appliance. 

Next time I make a variation of Clever, I will make this FIRST. Making these pieces is the bane of my existence – I love wearing them, hate making them.  It’s a long process.

I am allergic to latex, silocone, scuply, most clays, and so many other things that seem to be every cosplayers go-to. When I made my first cyber piece back in late 2013, I spent weeks trying to find a substance that would keep attached to my face all day without causing a rash. Like an alchemist in a fantasy novel, I submerged myself into creating the perfect concoction. It took 22 days to finish the final product.

I admit that I rushed a bit on the Borderlands one.  As a result, it doesn’t quite fit as well as my others, and is a bit heavier than I expected. I only added two working lights, instead of the usual four, to hopefully balance the piece out. It lasted through two full days of a con, despite the heat of a crowded venue, but I did end up tweaking it a bit after. Even with the tweaks, it still doesn’t fit as well as I would like. It is too heavy and brings down the entire left side of my face, making it difficult to keep my eye open at times. I really need to sit down and force myself to make a new one.

There are a few more things that I would like to add to this costume eventually. Like a belt of grenades, and maybe another gun. But aside from that, I am incredibly pleased with how this costume turned out. It is by far, my favorite Clever variation that I have done.

I hope this post gives you the inspiration to go off and cel shade something, and possibly even play some Borderlands!

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[residentlesbrarian]

The First Book I Read In the Dark: Queer Witches and a Whole Bunch of Redwood Trees

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta

Let me set the scene...we start Day 1 of this experience curled up next to the white painted fireplace desperate for warmth with two blankets, an extra hoodie, a stocking cap, and my trusty lazy husband for that much needed lumbar support. 

Now The Lost Coast was a book I had checked out multiple times over the past year of silence on this blog because every time I saw it on the shelf I would pick it up, flip to the blurb, read it and go, “Man, that sounds so good! I gotta read it!” Then I’d check it out and it would sit in my locker, or in my car, or on my desk for three weeks and I’d turn it in completely untouched. But this time...this time I swore I was reading this damn book! Even if I was reading 10 pages a day during my breaks at work I was gonna finally read this book, it wasn’t going unread sitting somewhere for three weeks again. Little did I know how right I would be! 

So as a bit of a precursor this is the only book of those I read in the dark that I had already started. I was 90 pages in when I started reading on Day 1 and I only get more incoherent from here so let’s do this!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Our protagonist is pulled across the country to the yawning redwood forest of northern California and discovers more than she could ever imagine. Her mom  thought Danny kissing girls was the worst of her problems but now she has to deal with witches and magic and is that a dead body! This non-stop ride is just getting started!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Okay so I would say this book pretty firmly falls in a middle ground of okay for me. It was some really great escapism for me in a time when I really needed it, but the way the book was structured and written just didn’t really jive with my usual reading tastes. It felt to me like it was trying so hard to be poetic and artistic that it got a little lost at times, no pun intended with the title of the book. 

Now for the plot, which I think was maybe the strongest element of this book. The driving plot of the book never changed and was always consistent and I really liked how the author wove the magic of the world and the unique structure of how she was telling the story while never losing the plot in that unique structure. It was always peeling away one layer at a time and showing us just a bit more without holding our hand. It was very well done and kept me guessing and trying to figure out what was going to happen and how it was all going to end. Next we have what is usually my favorite part of a review but this time...isn't. 

I have so many conflicted feelings about the characters in The Lost Coast. On one hand holy giant redwoods I haven’t read a book since Not Your Sidekick that had this many casually queer characters just strutting about doing their thing, but on the other hand I feel the way the story was written leaves so much to be desired. The characters feel so thin and lacking when they had the potential to be so rich and diverse. Don’t get me wrong they are diverse in the bare bones definition, but we know so little about them at the end of the day it feels like it doesn’t really matter. We have our protagonist, Danny, who we know has a strained relationship with her mother but is close enough with she was willing to move her across the country in an attempt to try and give her a fresh start. Now there are somethings that take place in the story that explain a lot of the odd things about Danny’s character and made me a lot less unhappy with her by the time the book ended but it was really hard to get behind her as a protagonist at the beginning not because I didn’t like her but because I wasn’t motivated to follow her into the story. She was just going along from one event to the next with no real drive of her own, which brings us to the Grays: Hawthorne, June, Lelia, and Rush. They at least have a consistent motivation, but they had such potential to be really interesting characters but each one fell just short for me. The closest one to a compelling for me was Rush, we learned the most about her and I think that was mostly because Danny paid the most attention to her for obvious gay reasons. Now I can’t really expand too much more without going into massive spoiler territory for the plot which I don’t want to do, because the book is good and is an experience I don’t want to take away from anyone it just fell flat for me.

So yeah, this book wasn’t what I expected and I think a huge part of that was because the blurb is so much different than what is in the book itself. And I know, as a lesbrarian I should know not to judge a book by its cover or its blurb...but that is your first exposure to the story you are going to be reading and in this case the tone was so much different. Now let me reiterate this book wasn’t bad. There were parts that were so beautifully written I had to reread them several times to take in the layers of imagery and sheer poetry of the prose, but I feel like at times that style took away from the story itself and most of all it took away from the characters so that by the end of it they just fall a bit flat for me. I do recommend you give it a shot though because you won’t find a book with a queerer cast out there and maybe it will speak to you more than it did to me. 

Queer Wrap-up: Alright lets look at the this stellar tally shall we. Even with my own lack luster feelings toward the characters from a story perspective you can’t over look the fact that all but one character we interact with on page regularly is queer. That is something I have never seen before, so it more than earned its five unicorns, even if the quality was a bit lacking on the tail end the quantity really pulled it out. So we have our protagonist who is unapologetically kissing girls from page one and doesn’t ever shut up about it but also doesn’t shy away from the fact she also finds boys undeniably adorable and cute. In a scene that makes this tally easier than most she defines herself as queer so we are gonna stick with that. Within the Grays we have Lelia who is a tiny nonbinary gray ace person who will get in your face and is not afraid to be called a weirdo, June is a “femme as fuck” lesbian who is also not white (I belive Danny describes her as vaguely pacific islander at one point. I swear it was more specifically stated what her ethnicity was somewhere later in the book but I didn’t write it down at the time and couldn’t find it in my quick flip threw the book when I grabbed it to jot down their stated sexualities, but she is definitely not white), Hawthorne is a bisexual black witch who states she has “a strong lean toward masculine folks” which is refreshing to see bisexual representation that isn’t just “gay but guys exist I guess”, then we have Rush who very succinctly sums herself up with “Fat. Queer. White. Cello Player.” She is also some add rep in the form of having synesthesia where she can taste words. We also have some disability rep as June has an injury to her leg from a fall out of a tree that never healed properly and it does cause problems for her throughout the book, not the greatest rep but it’s there and shouldn’t be forgotten or not included. Man, oh man, this is the longest wrap-up I think I’ve ever written but I am still not done yet. We have Imogen who is the missing Gray mentioned in the blurb and brought up pretty quickly in the story and without spoiling anything we do get confirmation she is also undeniably queer as well as another character that I can’t even begin to talk about without a giant redacted stamp for spoiler reasons, but just know this book does have queer rep coming out its ears. 

Links: 

Amy Rose Capetta’s Website

Goodreads

So yes here we come to the end of the first Book I Read In the Dark it was a whimsical journey through redwoods with witches and more queerness than you could shake a widowmaker at (if you don’t get that reference read the book). I finished this book on Day 1 and immediately dove right into Book 2 because well I didn’t have anything else to do and I was kinda reeling from the confusion of this book and wanted something to ground me. The next book was one I had wanted to read for a very long time. You’ll see whether it did the job or not. 

As always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[zghostreviews]

Review of Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt(2010)

Summary: PASWG is an anime centered around these two angels, Panty and Stocking Anarchy, and a priest named Garterbelt. The dilemma the Anarchy sisters face is that....well....they were kicked out of heaven because 1. Panty is horny on main, and 2. Stocking is an extreme glutton. They land in Daten City, where they are presented with the task of exterminating spirits. The spirits drop heaven coins when killed, so the Anarchy sisters have to collect a certain amount of these heaven coins so they can get back to heaven. Oh, and there’s also stripping scenes every time they transform, so this had the repressed baby gay in me panicking the first time I saw it.

Now onto the review!

How the fuck did I find an anime like this??/

Well at the time, PASWG was still fairly new. I think I discovered it, not long after the release. From what I remember I came across the “DIETO!?!?” scene at the time where it had essentially become of meme status. After this I came across more scenes from the show and 10 yo me was basically like, “I GOTTA watch this”. So I did, through YouTube once more ‘cause I was an OG anime watcher, we all had to watch anime episodes in parts back then.

----------------

Japanese vs English dub

Ight I’m doing this early this time, since it’s kinda essential with this sort of anime. 

Japanese dub pros

-You get the memes, and the full phrase said when the demon sisters transform, and that’s about it

-RRRRRRRRRRules!

cons

-When watching the japanese dub, most of the jokes WILL fly over your head because you’re either focusing on reading the subtitles, and because many places have a different sort of humor from each other.

I first watched this in japanese with eng. subs, I didn’t quite get the jokes at all, not just because I was still a child, but because it just wasn’t funny to me. After 3 episodes I switched over to the english dub, I found that shit funny as FUCK. At one point that shit had me W H E E Z I N G.

I suggest watching the anime in your native language since it’s less likely the jokes will fall flat, and because verbal jokes, to me, didn’t translate well at all too well. Eventually, I did watch the anime in both languages, but here, the english dub was superior, and that’s coming from someone who usually NEVER watches english dubs.

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Characters

7/10

Honestly, the only one I didn’t really like was Briefs, he literally was just simping for Panty the entire time until Panty found out he was attractive and decided to fuck him literally. At the end of the anime, he was apparently essential because his dick in particular was the literal key to heaven....for some reason....

Aside from that, I fucking LOVED the demon sisters, both because they were hot, and because I liked their character. My brain even now is immediately just like: Demon girls.....HOT, when I look at them. I specifically love Kneesocks out of all the characters tho for multiple reasons....speaking of Kneesocks, she was also ranked #2 as a fan favorite at the time this anime was released.

Before the demon sisters made their appearance though......Stocking was my favorite, she was just WAY too relatable. She was the original big tittied goth girl everyone wanted to date. Also her popularity prolly heightened even more with how Gainax decided to end the series.

Panty is a bitch sometimes but I like her, though if she were a human and not an angel, she would DEFINITELY have every fucking STD in the world tbh.

Garterbelt......is a very questionable dude to put things mildly....

Chuck is chuck. I like Chuck. 10/10 best dog. Reminds me of Gir from Invader Zim, pretty sure he’s based of Gir tho.

The ghost things, I still liked them more them Breif...well....except for the vomit ghost and the shit ghost after all. That shit was gross, no pun intended.

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Music

10/10 

Music like the Anarchy sisters’ “Fly Away” transformation theme, and Demon sisters’ “I want You” transformation theme and “D. City Rock” was done by Teddyloid! You may recognize his name for he did the music for the anime music video, ME!ME!ME!

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The Ending

What the fuck was that?/10

Seriously Gainax, what? What the fuck did you leave us on a cliffhanger for??? Just to make us suffer???? Nobody asked for that, and now y’all have been making us wait for a season 2 for more than a decade. :(

At least there’s a PASWG cafe....even tho most of us can’t go to it ‘cause we’re too poor to be able to go to and from Japan.

--------------

Is it worth watching even with the cliffhanger?

Hell yes! This anime is a classic! Now would be the best time to watch it too since we’re all isolated rn! There’s only 12 episodes (excluding OVAs of course), this is probably the funniest shit I’d ever seen in terms of vulgar humor, the 1st 2-3 episodes are rocky at first but I promise it will grow on you in such a weird way.

Plus if Gainax does decide to revive it sooner or later, at least y’all who watch it now wouldn’t have to suffer as much as us others have had to!

That’s it for this review, peace out

[inahazzze]

Poster Boy

@yes-daddy-i-willl: 😈 imagine H knew that your biggest life regret was NOT fucking him in his childhood home so he just goes ahead and makes it a reality ok

Thanks for sending in this request, Erika. YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!!

Warnings: This is almost entirely smut lol. There’s some light dom/sub stuff and it gets straight into it (pun intended). This is the first time I’m ever posting smut!!! As usual please let me know what you think!! :) x

“Harry,” you breathed, your voice laced with arousal. “Please.”

He’d been edging you for over two hours, and you’d reached the end of your tether. He’d eaten you out, used his fingers on you, and then let you ride his thigh. It was starting to get painful and you really needed him to let you cum.

“Okay, baby, since you’ve been so good… go ahead and cum for me,” he said, and you let it all go. Your whole body shook with the release, and Harry held you as close to his body as he could while you came on top of him. You slumped over his shoulder and dug your nails into his back as the orgasm raged through you.

When it finished, you looked up to a very satisfied Harry. You felt like every part of you was relaxed and refreshed. He smirked down at you, but you recognised the sharp glint of lust still in his eyes. You wondered how he was able to hold off for so long himself, considering that he’d been rock hard for hours without allowing you to touch him. You liked to be edged but would never have had the strength to do it to yourself for this long. He had stamina you’d never encountered before.

You took a few deep breaths, feeling your body begin to come back to you. Harry caressed your back slowly until you lifted your head from his slightly sticky shoulder. It was a testament to his character that he let you come down from your high before fucking you, even though he was painfully hard. He allowed you the time to become a bit less sensitive so that you could finish together without it being uncomfortable for you. That was one of the many reasons you loved him.

You looked into Harry’s eyes and tried to convey your adoration for him. You were still sitting on him as he sat up against the wall at the head of the bed. Behind him was a Rolling Stones poster, and you had to hold back your emotions at seeing such clear evidence of being in his teenage bedroom. You were in his family home for the first time, and he wanted to take advantage of the fact that you had the house to yourselves for the night. You’d pictured what this exact bedroom might’ve looked like when you had a crush on Harry as a teenager, so it was surreal to be here now. Doing this. It was probably your post-orgasm haze, but you found yourself internally reminiscing over your teen memories of Harry.

You’d go with your mum to the bakery that he worked at just to smile at him from across the shop. You even convinced your mum that you loved the bakery’s pastries more than any other’s just so you could see him. On a few occasions you’d unexpectedly seen him around Holmes Chapel and you always felt like your heart would burst from your chest. It was the kind of early teenage crush that felt defining in a way, and you never forgot about him. Not even when you moved away when you were a bit older. He’d sometimes cross your mind and you’d find yourself wondering what he was doing with his life.

Which is why running into him randomly over ten years later must’ve been meant to be. And it came full circle now that you were finally in the place that you most wished to be all those years ago. Your heart swelled in your chest at the thoughts of your long journey with him, all while you were staring at the wrinkled and dusty Rolling Stones poster.

Harry followed your gaze and brought you back to reality. “What, you want more tongue, then? I thought I gave you plenty,” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes but laughed and half-heartedly hit his torso with your palms. But before you could reach his chest, his hands shot up in one swift movement and clasped your wrists together. The mood shifted immediately – his eyes darkened and you felt your body heat up again.

“Get up and lean over the bed,” he said with a firm tone. Your body erupted in shivers and you jumped to obey his order.

“How long have you wanted me to fuck you here, huh?” He asked, and you felt yourself blush. “Tell me. How long?”

“Since…forever,” you squeaked, not able to make sense of anything while you anticipated him fucking you. You wanted to sit up and see his face, but he asked to you lean over the bed so that’s where you stayed.

“Hmm… got a lot of time to make up for, then, don’t I?” He said, his voice getting deeper by the minute. You sucked in a breath and waited for him to make his move. You heard the sound of his clothes coming off and a condom wrapper opening, and then felt his length slide along your wet folds. The barest touch sent a tingle up your spine, but that was nothing compared to how it felt when he sank into you in one quick movement. You let out a gasp at the same time that Harry let out deep, husky moan. You were wet and relaxed enough that you didn’t need to adjust to him – but it was still a lot. His size was something you’d never fully get used to, not that you were complaining. He filled you up better than anyone ever had and he knew it. He pulled all the way out and somehow went even deeper on his next thrust, causing you to fall down to your forearms on the bed.

Harry held your hips up as he fucked in to you from behind, and it felt deeper than ever. He was thrusting into you roughly and you were glad he wasn’t holding anything back. You reached your hands under your chest to pinch your nipples, but he quickly yanked you up by your hair when he saw what you were doing.

“Did I say you could touch yourself?” He said between breaths. He started fucking you even harder and pulled sharply on your hair when you didn’t answer him.

“Sorry,” you breathed out, feeling yourself get even wetter at his dominance.

“You’re gonna cum because of me.” He grunted out in a scratchy voice. You were going to say something back but it caught in your throat as he reached a hand to circle your sensitive clit. You clenched tightly around him in surprise, and could feel his cock throb in response.

Your moans rivalled Harry’s, you both completely overwhelmed with how hard he was fucking you in his teenage bedroom.

“Shit,” he groaned loudly as your walls clenched in a flutter around his dick. “Not yet, baby,” he said, but his fingers didn’t slow down on your clit.

“Please, Harry,” you cry, “I’m begging you, I’ve gotta come.”

“You wanna cum on my cock, baby?”

“Please let me cum on your big cock, Harry,” you whined, knowing he loves it when you play it up for him. “You’ve been fucking me too hard and I need it.”

His breathing picked up and he spoke through clenched teeth. “Cum on me.”

You let your orgasm free and it spread through you like a fire catching in a forest. You were so tight around him that he came immediately after you, filling you with warmth and shivers. You felt unbelievably full in every way possible. When he pulled out of you, you slumped down onto the bed in exhaustion - but you still missed the feeling of him inside you. He fell down next to you on the bed with a blissful expression and loving look at you.

“What?” You asked, blushing at the way he was looking at you.

“You’re so incredible,” he said. You beamed back at him. “And I got to fuck you in my childhood bedroom, so ‘m pretty chuffed about tha’ too.”

You giggled and swatted at him as he showed off his dimples and ducked away from you. You ended up lying flat on top of him, both laughing and kissing each other playfully in your post-orgasm high.

[lyswenn]

There were a lot of very positive things and very negative things about this volume (I’m planning on making an actual list soon), but one of the main thing that left me feeling bitter was the whole Ruby and Cinder ordeal.

Ever since the beginning of volume 4, we’ve seen a Cinder that was craving for revenge - it really was a focal point, what with her asking Salem what they’ll do with her, Tyrian being sent to get her, Watts making fun of Cinder because she “failed” against Ruby...

And on the other side, we had Ruby ask about Cinder more than once, think about her with rage on her face. It’s obvious she, too, wanted to get revenge for what was done to Pyrrha (and possibly the fall of Beacon in general).

There was so much build-up for another fight with these two, both were torn with rage and desires for revenge.

And yet, once they get into the same room, finally.... it’s nearly all forgotten? Ruby does try to get to Cinder, but her attempts seem half-arsed, whereas Cinder doesn’t seem to pay Ruby any mind. For some reason.

If I had to compare, it’s pretty much as if we had Adam and Blake in the same room and they barely paid attention to each other. Or Yang and Neo. Or whatever two characters that have been firmly set as enemies or rivals, really.

I get that Jaune had “a right” to fight Cinder. He also wanted revenge, and it makes sense that he’d lose control of his emotions and try to fight her off. I’m not criticizing that. But I find it completely not convincing that wouldn’t wipe his ass in 50 milliseconds. We’re talking about the woman who killed Ozpin, I don’t believe for a second that there would be such a long fight between her and Jaune. Nor do I believe that Cinder would fight Jaune over Ruby. IMO, either Ruby should have taken over the fight or Cinder should have changed targets at some point.

Sure - Cinder may not be dead and there might be a Cinder vs Ruby fight in the future. So now, we’re expecting Cinder to come back just for the sake of an actual rematch (which makes her death fall flat - no pun intended), and if she actually is dead, then we’ll never have had that rematch. I don’t think there’s any way to win on this one.

[centaurianthropology]

I am not particularly well-versed in meta-analysis so I'm curious what someone better versed in the art (aka you) would have to say about the relevance of Percy Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias (to which I'm assuming the ep title was a reference) to the episode, the story as a whole, and potentially also specifically the Unknowing?

First off, don’t sell yourself short!  Meta is seriouslyjust the art of blathering your own opinion about something with some semblanceof structure and using the facts at hand as evidence.  That’s why it’s sofun to meta with other people.  My own meta is always just my opinionbacked with whatever knowledge on the subject I happen to have.  Hearing the metas from other people enrichesmy opinion and let me test my own theories against others.

Second, I should probablywarn you that it’s been a healthy while since I did any sort of poetryanalysis, and never considered myself particularly versed in it (no punintended).  So for this meta, we’re going to only be using the words ofthe poem, and the context of the Library of Alexandria, which I believe is what’sbeing obliquely referenced with that particular quote.  And given that we’re drawing ever closer tothe Unknowing, I feel like that’s a particularly apt little bit of poetry todraw from.  I’m also going to dig alittle into the history of the Library of Alexandria for this one.  Again, this isn’t my area.  I took a few classes on Egyptology during myMaster’s work, and that’s been more than a decade ago.  And even then, we didn’t get far into theGreco-Roman rule of Egypt, which is in large part where the history of thelibrary comes from.  So I’ll be using myold friend Wikipedia here.  If someoneelse out there happens to have made a proper study of the library and wouldlike to add things or correct some of my misapprehensions, please do!

So, yeah.  Preliminariesdone.  Let’s meta.  And history.

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from anantique landWho said: “Two vast and trunkless legs of stoneStand in the desert . . . Near them, on the sand,Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,Tell that its sculptor well those passions readWhich yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:And on the pedestal these words appear:‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'Nothing beside remains. Round the decayOf that colossal wreck, boundless and bareThe lone and level sands stretch far away.”

I think a huge part of the underpinnings of the storyof ‘The Magnus Archives’ is change.  The Unknowing is apparently adance that doesn’t end the world, but changes it irrevocably into somethingthat better resembles the Stranger.  Something even more bizarre anduncanny than the world is currently.

It’s my theory, since hearingthis, that the world as it currently is, is held in balance.  None of theGreat Old Ones have managed to get a firm enough foothold to fully transformthe world.  But there have been moments when something like the Unknowinghave likely succeeded, but those successes were temporary.  Let meexplain.

A little bit of historicalcontext, likely tweaked in the TMA universe, regarding the Library ofAlexandria.  The Library was considered to be one of the great centers oflearning in the western world from around the 3rd century BCE until itsdestruction.   It was believed to house somewhere between 40,000 and400,000 papyrus scrolls at its height.

The exact date of itsdestruction is unknown, though some believe that Julius Caesar’s army burned itas early as 48 BCE, though it might have been as late as the 270s CE. Quite a few of the works there survived at a smaller site called the Serapeum,a large temple built during the Greek rule of Egypt.  The Serapeum itselfis thought to have been destroyed on the orders of  Pope Theophilius ofAlexandria, during his purge of all non-Christian places of worship, around 390CE.  A library to rival Alexandria’s likely did not exist again in thatarea until the House of Wisdom in Baghdad built its library in the 9th centuryCE (many historical books from before that period would have been entirely lostwere it not for the Arabic translations reconstructed there).

I want to lay this out toshow that there was no singular destruction of the library.  All the dates are contested, and all theevents surrounded its eventual burning were also questionable. ��Given that the Serapeum survived as anoffshoot, and in the TMA universe, the library had an even more secretiveoffshoot in its Archive, it’s likely even harder to place the date of thatUnknowing event.  But for convenience,let’s use the later date as the destruction of the Archives.  Specifically, the library wasburned around270 CE during an attack on the city by the Roman Emperor Aurelian.  

He’s an interesting guy.  He’s one of those rose-up-the-ranks militaryemperors like Domitian that tended to do fairly well by his empire.  Aurelian’s rule was actually a period ofbarely keeping things together for the Roman Empire.  They were stretched too thin, and it was onlythrough his concerted military efforts that the whole thing didn’t collapseduring his reign.  He was actually deifiedby the Empire for his work.  

So it’s interesting that theLibrary of Alexandria was destroyed as part of an effort to maintain order, tokeep the world as the Romans knew it from unravelling.  It was done as an effort to fight change, inour world.  

Could that have been whereGertrude’s plan started to hatch?  Weknow she went to Alexandria and studied the remnants of that Archive.  She might even be responsible for the deathof that former Archivist still trapped there.

We’re viewing the destructionof the Institute as a part of the Unknowing, but whose word do we have forthat?  Elias, who defines himselfentirely as the beating heart of the Institute. Of course he believes that the preservation of the Archive and theInstitute are necessary to prevent the Unknowing.  And superficially, that makes sense.  If the Unknowing is about changing the worldto be less, well, knowing, then maintaining the Archives should be of paramountimportance.  But instead, Gertrudedecided to detonate the whole thing. Why?  That’s the question I keepasking.  If she knew that the Unknowingwas coming, and that things were rapidly declining toward the dance thatchanges the world, why would she pick that time to destroy the Archive?

Unless preventing theUnknowing is less about one side or the other winning than it is preserving thebalance.  

So we come back to the poem ‘Ozymandias’,which is a hauntingly short, lonely piece. At its most basic, it’s a poem about all things ending, all thingsdecaying, and all things ending up as equal in the vast flat desert.  We have in this a once-great statue, and aboast on a plaque demanding that the reader gaze upon the great works of thislost king.  Except the works are gone,swallowed back by the equality of the desert.

Nothing beside remains.

I think that this specificline could certainly reference the Unknowing, in the simple fact that nothinglike that lasts.  We don’t know if thedestruction of Alexandria was a successful Unknowing or not.  One might claim that the fact that theStranger is attempting to dance the Unknowing again indicates it wasn’t.  But how would we know?  What is the result of the Unknowing?  Change. But change keeps on going.  Novictory is static.  Do you think that ifthe Unknowing were to succeed, the Beholding would die?  No. These beings, whatever they are, don’t have any concept of an end.  They don’t exist that way.  So one wins, and for a while they have astronger grip over this reality.  Buteventually things turn around.  All theirgreat works fall.  The library isdestroyed.  The mask shatters.  All that’s left are remnants of thattime.  A face in an empty desert.

And on a smaller level, Ithink that line is being addressed to Elias. His hubris clearly knows no bounds. He is very much Ozymandias, this King of Kings, this beating heart of hiskingdom.  Look on his works: the libraryof the Institute is one of the premiere paranormal libraries in the world.  The other supernatural beings look at thisman—because he still is mostly a man—and they respect him.  They respect the order he keeps and the powerhe wields.  And right now, it really doesfeel like we have to look on his works and despair.  He’s the single most powerful entity directlyinvolved in the story right now.  

But change happens.  The library falls.  The Unknowing happens or it doesn’t.  This show is masterful at the surprisinganticlimax, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a part of theUnknowing.  If the Stranger wins … andnothing in particular happens.  Becausethe world is already uncanny.  Things tipone direction or the other, but they are always eventually leveled backout.  It seems much more immediate forthe characters, of course, as they are affected on an amplified scale by theseevents.  But to the Great Old Ones?  It’s just another move in the game, with therubble of a thousand moves before stretched out across the globe.

And this is why I really needto find out why Gertrude decided that destroying the Institute wasnecessary.  This is why I need to knowwhat she discovered when she went to Alexandria.  When she met the oldest Archivist inexistence.  This is why I need to knowwhat was in the Schwartzwald tomb that was powerful enough to restart theArchive through Jonah Magnus.  This iswhy I want to know more about what happened during the last Unknowing event,who won, and how.  Because even though it’sjust another move in a game without end, even though everything does eventuallyrevert to the desert, we care about this particular move.  And to understand how this is going to playout, Jon needs to understand what came before.

Elias is Ozymandias, revelingin his works even as they are fleeting. He’s lost track of his own scope in this game, his own importance.  I think Gertrude kept that sense that she wassmall, and that her moves had to be strategic to achieve her ends, whateverthose were.  She had a sense that allthings end, that some things might need to end. Perhaps she let go of too much. Jon isn’t Elias or Gertrude.  He’sslapped in the face at every opportunity with the notion that he’s not the mostpowerful being in the room.  He cares somuch he hates it.  He wants to protectpeople, which makes this move and this choice matter to him perhaps more thanit even did for Gertrude.  She wasplaying the game.  He’s trying to save asmany people as possible.  It’s the pieceson the board he cares about, not necessarily the result of the game.

And that’s where his choicesare going to differ from Elias and Gertrude. He’s not a statue in the desert, nor is he the sacking army that levelsthe library.  He’s just one guy given acertain amount of power and more importance in this game than he everwanted.  He’s connected to his humanity ina way that Gertrude wasn’t, and that Elias can’t understand.  His entire history says that he’s isolatedand distant.  That he avoids deep andmeaningful relationships.  But that doesn’tmean he doesn’t care.  Entirely theopposite, really.  He cares toomuch.  And that means that how he playsthis game is going to be radically different to the way that Elias or Gertrudewould.  In the end, the Archive may wellfall.  The Stranger may or may notwin.  But Jon will simply try to savewhoever he can.

[montmartrasse]

Jehanparnasse 2017 - Magic

2.1k words cw: graveyards, smoking and very little depictions of violence.

this was beta’d by the amazing @in-love-and-liberty and without them this would be a huge mess and i am thankful af

read on ao3

Montparnasse did not believe in magic until the day he met Jehan Prouvaire.

People talked about magic all the time, they were obsessed with having higher power than what their simple, mortal lives granted them. Some believed magic was as simple as growth of flowers, current of rivers and fall of rain; some believed it was granted by their God, some believed it was blasphemous to seek for magic; some believed themselves to be witches; some believed it was within each individual, some believed it was only given to special people. Some believed it to be a curse and some believed it to be a blessing.

Montparnasse believed in none of those. He wasn’t a cynic or a nihilist. He simply didn’t believe in any power above men.

Maybe, if only, life gave him reasons to believe, he would have, but life was not in favor of this man. He was raised in an orphanage, like how every other tragic story began. The orphanage was never able to place him in foster care as he tended to steal things since the day he learned to snatch candy from the purses of workers there. He had far too many records of misdemeanor under his sleeve. No family wished to have a kleptomaniac kid. Though, this little habit of his came handy when he was kicked out of the orphanage on his 18th birthday. He was soon picked up by a group of thieves that was impressed by his abilities to pickpocket people and swipe items from various stores. They soon began calling themselves Patron-Minette. Montparnasse’s life wasn’t in any way magical, pun intended.

For Montparnasse, life was simply black and white. Survive or kill. Live or die. It was that easy for most of the time. Although he adored beauty and cherished glamour, he never let his guards down enough to lose himself to the sensation of luxury.

Flowers and braids don’t go with knives and blood, he thought.

But he was wrong about many things. He was wrong about not believing in magic, he was wrong about simplicity of life, he was wrong about flowers, braids, knives and blood.

He met Jehan Prouvaire on a chilly November morning.

The clock was nearing five in the morning and he was on his way to home, an abandoned warehouse Patron-Minette claimed many years ago. It was the morning of a relatively successful heist. Relatively, because while Montparnasse didn’t mind attacking their victims and spilling some blood, rest of the Patron-Minette did not necessarily agree with his ways. Nevertheless, Montparnasse had to attack a man last night, blood was spilled but never on him. He was a professional at this point, he could carve out a man of his skin and slice up each muscle without a drop of blood touching himself.

This morning, after the heist, Brujon and Babet had taken the task of transporting the stolen goods to their warehouse, leaving Montparnasse empty handed without a mission. He found himself walking in the direction of the warehouse but he knew better than to directly walk over to his home after a heist in case anyone was following him, so he chose to take the long route and walked towards the cemetery’s big and graceful arch gate. His plan was to wander around a little, maybe even pretend like he was mourning if security was around, and leave the cemetery from one of the least exciting gates.

But again, Montparnasse was wrong.

Of course, it wasn’t uncommon to see other people in cemeteries, people came in all hours, even ungodly hours like this, if it was a special day for the dead and the living.

To avoid suspicion, Montparnasse decided to look for a tombstone that belonged to a person that would be close to his age if alive to make it look like he was visiting a dear friend that was blessed with the merciless death at such a young age. Of course, no one would know of this fake story, but Montparnasse liked the drama. So he stopped by a simple tombstone that read the name Nicholas Bellamy. If this Nicholas Bellamy was alive, he’d be 25 years old, only a few years older than Montparnasse. He found himself sitting down next to the tombstone, leaning his back to the right side of the small marble head. His long, leather clad legs lay flat in front of him. Throwing his head back, he rested his head on the gravestone. He was tired after all. The tombstone was cold and it sent shivers down to his spine yet the rays of the rising sun hit his face and warmed him up slightly. He closed his eyes and listened to his surroundings in case of any threat, there was none. The dead lived a quiet, silent life.

Without opening his eyes, he scavenged the inner pockets of his long, black coat for cigarettes, because only Montparnasse would bring a pack of cigarettes to a heist. After finding the pack, he took one out and placed it between his lips. His expected next task of finding a lighter was a failure; he did not have one. He sighed, as he reached to the unlit cigarette to put it back into the box, he heard a delicate voice above him.

“You need a light?” said the stranger above him.

Montparnasse lifted his head from the tombstone and opened his eyes and only saw neon green boots by his side. The stranger was standing next to him, facing his right side. They were very close to Montparnasse. He wondered how they managed to come this close without making any sound. It scared him that a person could be this silent.

“Yes,” he replied, cigarette still between his lips and this time he looked up to the stranger.

If he thought the green boots were bright, that’s only because he hadn’t looked at this person’s shining eyes. Their eyes were such a shade of brown that it should’ve been called caramel. So light yet so rich of color. Almost yellow but not sickly, not never sickly. Full of life and brightness.

The stranger kneeled by him as they reached for the pocket of their purple coat and to reveal a small matchbox. Montparnasse’s gloved hand reached to the box but before him, the stranger already lit one of the matches and brought it to his cigarette. He took a long drag from the cigarette and tried to look into the eyes of the stranger but they were focusing on the match. After Montparnasse’s cigarette was fully lit, they shook the match and dispelled the fire. Montparnasse lifted the cigarette from his mouth and tried to catch a glimpse of their eyes.

“May I?” the stranger asked. Montparnasse nodded yes without actually understanding the question.

They lowered themselves even more and sat down cross legged next to Montparnasse, still facing his side. Until then, Montparnasse didn’t have a chance to fully take in the stranger’s appearance except for their eyes and the hideous boots. Now, he could see everything. They had long, strawberry blond hair that braided on one side and decorated with numerous flowers. How cliché and pretty, Montparnasse thought. Their face matched their hair, the caramel eyes were accompanied by infinite looking freckles and rosy lips. It was like as if they were designed to radiate warmth. Underneath the purple coat, sleeves of a red and black leopard print sweater were visible. What a horrible choice of clothing, Montparnasse thought as he realized they were wearing pink flower print leggings. He took a long drag of his cigarette, his heart was not ready for all those patterns and colors. They sat in perfect contrast, the colorful stranger and the monochrome thief.

His thoughts were interrupted when the stranger asked “What did this person mean to you?” in a sweet voice that made Montparnasse want to rip out his own heart; there was no place for sweetness in his heart.

“No one” he replied, forgetting his fake play. The beauty of the person sitting next to him made him feel like he was enchanted, losing the ability to play his character. He swore internally as he realized his mistake.

The stranger shuffled uncomfortably.

“If you wish for me to leave you alone, I can go away.” They sounded even sweeter and somewhat caring. Why would they care about Montparnasse?

Uncharacteristically, Montparnasse said “No, stay.”

Montparnasse who never talked to anyone besides Patron-Minette, Montparnasse who didn’t trust strangers, Montparnasse who would rather remove each of his own finger nails rather than show interest in other people.  Montparnasse who wanted the stranger to stay.

“Are you here to gather inspiration, then?” Asked the stranger.

“No,” he replied again. They still looked uncomfortable. “What about you?” he continued.

“The inspiration,” they replied, now more comfortable but still with the sweetest voice Montparnasse ever heard in his life.

“What is inspiring about a field of corpses?”

“Never ask a poet that.” they smiled shyly. “The name is Jehan Prouvaire. May I ask for yours?”

“Montparnasse.”

“Just that?” Jehan asked. Jehan. The stranger had a name now.

“You asked for a name, I gave you a name.”

“Montparnasse” said Jehan, dragging out each syllable, as if they were testing it out.

Montparnasse wanted nothing more than to feel those rosy lips that uttered his name with such grace on his cold ones.

“A poet, you are then?” he asked.

“As much as everyone.” Jehan smiled again, this time, with more confidence.

They radiated warmth.

“Not everyone is a poet.” Montparnasse brought his now half wasted cigarette to his lips.

“Yet you talk like one.” Jehan said.

Montparnasse thought their eyes to be bright and shiny before but now that a smile accompanied them, he realized he was wrong. Next to this pure smile, their eyes were not the brightest. The poet’s face was the brightest of them all. Every inch and every piece had their own character. The petite nose that was pierced on both sides, the fair eyebrows that rested above those unearthly eyes and the rosy lips.

Oh the lips.

They looked so plump, so pink, so there. And Montparnasse was at loss of words. The man who could talk virgins into sin and sinners into grace, the man with a tongue that would put shame to a hissing snake, could not find words to articulate his feelings about the poet next to him. He felt so strong yet so powerless at the same time but he quickly reminded himself that this was still a stranger after all.

“Have you gathered enough inspiration, then?” asked Montparnasse. His voice was cold without intending to be. He didn’t like how much the poet charmed him, making him feel so exposed.

The poet looked offended now.

“You don't have to be rude. If you want me to leave, I will.” They started to get up.

“No.” Montparnasse said hastily and reached for the poet’s wrist, instead his gloved hand held their bare fingers. “That's not what I meant. Stay.” he wished he wasn't wearing any gloves, lifting any barrier between their skins.

“What did you mean then?”

“Read me something of yours?” The poet hadn't pulled back their hand from Montparnasse's grip and they weren't trying to leave now.

“They are a little -” Jehan stopped to find the correct word “personal.”

“I see,” Montparnasse murmured low under his breath, then he raised his cigarette to his mouth only to realize that it was all ashes by then.

He pushed the cigarette butt into the grass to fully unlit it. Jehan scowled at him.

“You shouldn’t do that.”

“I shouldn’t do many things,” it was Montparnasse’s turn to smile now. His eyes caught sight of the graveyard guard talking to a cop on behind Jehan. He was glad that he opted to stop by the graveyard rather than directly going home.

“That is my cue,” he said as he pointed at the two men talking with his chin.

Jehan turned around to see what was going on behind. They turned back with a confused look on their face.

“What do you mean?” they asked.

Montparnasse slowly brought the poet’s hand to his lips, barely touching their hand with his cold lips, and he rose from the ground swiftly, leaving the poet still stumped.

“Maybe another time.” He said and picked up the cigarette butt from the ground. He couldn’t afford leaving any traces behind.

Jehan still looked incredibly confused as they realized the police officer walking towards them. Montparnasse leaned over the poet, brushing the strawberry hair behind their ear.

“I will see you again, Jehan Prouvaire.”  Montparnasse said, and with that, he left, almost disappearing into the shadows.

Montparnasse did not believe in magic, until now, because the only explanation he’d accept for this ‘love at first sight’ thing he’s experiencing would be that Jehan Prouvaire casted a spell on him.

so this is the first time im ever publishing any of my writing !!! if you have any comments, criticisizms and whatsoever, please dont hesitate to message me, send asks, or just tag them ! thank you for reading.

[vixxscifiwritings]

your words on my skin (2/2)

Characters - Ravi x OC AU- Soulmates verse Length - Twoshot Summary - In a world where the marks on your skin also show up on your soulmate’s, Wonshik feels conflicted about the consequences of getting a tattoo

Part 1

“I am going to get a dog! I haven’t told the others yet but I am going to get a dog!” Wonshik scribbles the moment he is out of the shop. It’s a cream coloured French bulldog. A tiny part of him wishes it was black but this puppy is adorable and as soon as he grows up a bit more, he can come home with Wonshik. And that is more than enough for him.

“Finally! Congratulations!” she scribbles back. Wonshik is so happy he does a mini dance on the street before his manager ushers him into the car waiting.

“And I will name him Butt!” he adds. The reply is almost instantaneous.

“Please no! That is such a perverted name!!! And it’s a boy?” she asks curiously.

“I like the name! I am keeping it!” he writes with a frown. The name is not that bad honestly but for the life of him he can’t figure out why no one else likes it. It’s so funny!

“And yup. It’s a baby boy!” he adds, answering the 2nd part.

“Suit yourself then. I am not going to call it Butt though. It needs a second name” she compromises.

“Bada$$. With the dollar signs. Pun intended. My baby will be a rockstar like me when he grows up” he boasts. Maybe he should wait till Butt is home to be boasting so confidently already. Heck he hasn’t even told Hakyeon or Hongbin and he tells them everything. But he already loves Butt and that should be enough to tell her.

“Haha cute. A nice name for a rapper. Is it a black bull dog like you always wanted?” she asks. She must be free, Wonshik notes. Then he remembers that she took a few days off work to shift houses.

“A French cream bulldog. They didn’t have black bulldogs anywhere ㅠ.ㅠ How is the move going?” he asks. He’s running out of space on his arm and wonders how she will reply.

“Fantastic.”  

Wonshik snorts at the reply.

“I hate it!! I don’t have any body strength and all of it tires me out ㅠ.ㅠ” she replies on his other arm. He laughs when he sees the emoji because he knows she picked it up from him. It always makes him smile and it does now as well, till he notices a bruise on the inner side of his elbow.

When did he get this bruise? He didn’t hurt himself dancing. He tests it but doesn’t feel any pain. He sighs and scribbles to her.

“Did you get hurt carrying heavy things?” he asks her with a frown.

“You saw that? It’s nothing really. My books fell down from the top shelf because it was too high” she replies after a second.

“You should be more careful! Can’t you get someone taller and stronger to help you?” he grumbles.

“I’m fine! 164 cm isn’t short at all! And I am strong too! I packed everything away neatly!” she protests.

“If I was there I wouldn’t have let you do all this heavy work” he pouts.

“I have a strong chivalrous soulmate *_* It’s alright! I am a strong independent woman too!” she replies.

Wonshik frowns but has no more space to reply and he forgot to bring the moisturizer he normally uses to dissolve and wipe ink. His nerves are already jumpy from excitement and worry adds on to it.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he notices that the bruises fade after 2 days.

-x-

“Why do I own so many things!!!!”

The words appear in the middle of an interview and Wonshik chuckles. He can’t reply but he already knows that today must be moving day because there are small cheers written all over his arm for strength to move the heavy stuff around.

And her name.

It’s a careless mistake really. It’s part of a slogan scribbled on his wrist and carefully covered under his watch. But now Wonshik knows her name and it sounds so foreign on his tongue. He stands in the bathroom for an extra minute, reading it and saying it to himself till Sanghyuk kicks him out.

He wishes he could help her. But he enjoys the frustrating messages that randomly pop up. The makeup artist sympathizes with his soulmate as she covers up the words on his skin. Wonshik smiles to himself, imagining her being embarrassed should she ever come to know that all of Jelpi now knows that she hates moving.

“Should I come over and help you out?” he asks as soon as filming gets over.

It’s been on his mind forever. It’s been seven years since they know each other. It’s going to be five years since his debut. He is an established artist now and doesn’t have the same pressure about his reputation. His soulmate is done with her graduation and is well settled with a job she likes.

Maybe it is time?

Yet they never talk about meeting. This routine is comfortable. Safe. But he yearns for more.

“I finished shifting the boxes around. I will unpack them tomorrow” she writes back. “But I would love you forever if you brought me dumplings now”

Wonshik doesn’t know if he wants to sigh or laugh. How had he forgotten that she loves dumplings? Of course she is thinking about food. It’s late in the afternoon. Did she skip lunch? She definitely did not eat breakfast. Gaaah. Why is she like this?

“Address? I am coming over and I am bringing food along” he writes. 

“Is there a dumpling shop nearby?” he asks the production crew. They work at this studio often and would know the food places around.

“There’s one down the main road from here. It gets crowded at this time but the sweet and sour pork bun is worth the wait” the assistant director tells him. 

“Which is why we aren’t losing weight” the director grumbles and everyone laughs.

“Are you suddenly craving dumplings?” Hongbin asks. 

“Maybe” he says, distracted by the reply.

“I was just joking…” she replies.

Wonshik hesitates. It dawns on him that she doesn’t feel the same. The smile on his face is gone. Was he too forward? Did he make her uncomfortable?

Has he ruined everything?

“Besides, aren’t you busy? Will you be able to come over?” she asks after a moment. “My place is essentially boxes and a plastic wrapped couch. You’ll hate it.”

“I didn’t expect you to complain all day about moving and then magically finish it one day”

“I resent how that assumption is hundred percent true” she replies. Wonshik laughs as the address appears below it. This place is two blocks away from the dorm.

“I think we should get dumplings for two” Hongbin says as he peers over Wonshik’s shoulder. Wonshik swats him away while blushing and the female staff coo when the makeup artist pipes up and asks if he is going to visit his soulmate now.

-x-

Wonshik checks the flat number and double checks it again. The writing on his hand is starting to fade but he is sure this is the place. He should ring the bell.

He can’t bring himself to. Any courage fueled by spur of the moment decisions has faded, leaving him anxious. When he finally does ring the doorbell, it is because of half hearted concern that the dumplings will taste bad when cold and she probably does not have a microwave set up.

She opens the door and Wonshik starts, greeting her formally out of nervousness. When he straightens up again, she stares. Wonshik stares too. Her hair is wavy and wet and her skin glows. He catches the scent of green apple, which he remembers is her favourite body wash from the brand she likes. Her eyes are brown and wide.

She shuts the door with a bang. Wonshik blinks. He has no idea what just happened.

“Haneul?” he calls out uncertainly. He knocks on the door, calling out to her gently.

“I never told you my name” she tells him through the intercom. “How did you know?”

“You wrote it on your arm. I found it this morning” he tells her.

The door opens again. Slower this time and Wonshik finds himself face to face with her.

“Sorry” Haneul apologizes.

“It must have taken you by shock” he laughs sheepishly.

“I expected this but I also didn’t know what to expect” she confesses. Wonshik raises an eyebrow.

“I knew who you were. The lyrics were a give away” she admits.

“I should have been more careful” Wonshik frowns.

“Yes! But I would eventually come to know” Haneul shrugs.

“Anyways, I brought dumplings along” he says holding up the takeout containers for truce.

“I love you already. Come on in. Watch your step though. There are boxes everywhere” she tells him.

“You’ve reminded me twenty times already today” he teases as he navigates through the room. When he looks up from the floor, he falls a little in love with the way Haneul pouts and glares.

“Were you in the middle of filming?” Haneul asks guiltily when she notices his outfit. It’s a purple satin shirt paired with ripped skinny black pants. Wonshik is sure he still has eyeliner on too.

“We were done for the day when I wrote back to you” he tells her truthfully.

“Sorry. I’ll just get the food out” she apologizes as she takes the food from him.

“I’m here because I wanted to come” he assures her.

“I thought you were joking about that, you know? You are an idol after all. I didn’t expect you to agree” Haneul tells him.

“And also, I swear I thought I would be better dressed for our first meeting” she says, looking down at her denim shorts and blue t-shirt ruefully.

“I think you look pretty” Wonshik says. Both of them blush together and Haneul busies herself in getting the dumplings out while Wonshik fiddles with the sauce packets. His heart races and he is very sure he will die of arrhythmia today. He glances at Haneul who is steadfastly avoiding looking at him and he looks away.

“So uh… what is VIXX up to these days? Do you guys have anything planned now that Bomb promotions are over?” she asks, making conversation. The silence is awkward and Wonshik is happy to escape his own thoughts.

“The usual stuff. Variety show appearances, musicals, web dramas. We might work on an album soon but nothing’s confirmed yet” he replies, careful not to give spoilers away.

“Oh oh oh. When will Butt come home?” Haneul asks excitedly. Wonshik grins and pulls out his phone.

“In two days! The person who is caring for him now sent the cutest pictures ever this morning!” he tells her excitedly.

“Show me!” Haneul says, clapping her hands together. She moves closer to Wonshik and the pair lean against the counter as he flicks through the folder he has made specially for his puppy.

“He is so cute” she sighs, leaning on his shoulder. Wonshik hums in agreement and puts his arm around her, letting her take his phone and swipe through the folder. She’s short enough for him to place his chin on her head. She fits in like a puzzle piece and Wonshik feels warmth grow in his chest.

“I hate you tall people” she grumbles. Wonshik notices that she doesn’t move away and he counts it as a small victory.

“The dumplings will get cold” she tells him awkwardly. “Let’s eat first” he suggests. 

This sort of intimacy is unnatural. They understand each other in a way that others won’t. But to be physically present in the here and now will take getting used to.

Texting will probably replace the writing on his arms. Perhaps, Haneul will doodle on his tattoos on his skin and not her own reflection of it. Late night conversations in his studio might take place with both of them present. Arguments about Butt’s name might be replaced by which parent spoils him more and why they should or shouldn’t.

  Wonshik sees a future with his soulmate the way he always has. Except now he has a face and a name to go with it

-The End -

[piddies0709]

Walking on Glass A little SJ fandom rant

Wow.... How about that new episode of Samurai Jack? Pretty trippy right? I mean, that part where he eats something and his head turns into a fish. Like how dose that work exactly? Pretty funny, huh? Heh...heh...heh... Where do I begin? So happen was, last night was the premiere of the new Samurai Jack season 5 episode 8, in which Jack and Ashi are making their way across the desert. Hmm... Why dose this sound familiar? Anyway, during their ride on a giant camel monster used as a bus, Jack and Ashi find themselves in a pretty close to each other and it is that this point where they're relationship takes quite a turn. During their journey, they come across a large spaceship to escape a dust storm. Only to find out that the ship is still infested by a leach monster. After they finally defeat it, at the heat of the moment Jack and Ashi then make out and that when the “fans” starting setting fire to their insides. 

 I said I was gonna get back to the messy subject and the hail storm of raging “fans” that apparently this episode has brought upon. After reading through a number of these hissy-fit heated debates, I couldn't help but laugh at a few, roll my eyes at most and have the rest cause me to put my hands in my face. Seriously, all it took was a kiss and some awkward but sweet bonding moments for people to get up in arms saying crap like “They ruined the show!” “How could you Genndy?” “The show's gone downhill.” And those are just some of the less visceral comments I've seen.... It really makes me sad. It really makes me sad to see a show I loved as a kid, get second chance at finishing it's story and the one tiny moment that wasn't even remotely negative in any way, would then cause such a shit storm, that I have to sit back and wonder why did I have to be born as a human being... Oh am I sounding bit harsh here? *eh-hem* I suppose some would prefer it if I went back to my dark little corner of the internet and remain silent like I usually do. Heck No! I feel I should be aloud to express my own opinion, while setting somethings straight. (Pun not intended.) Now, I will not be completely demonizing people who are against this ship, because some do have a few valid points as to why they don't like it or this episode and thats understandable. I'm not saying you have to like it. Again it's all matter of choice and opinion. (get use to hearing that.) But! What I am irritated by is how people are practicality screaming out things like “Pedophile” “Forced” “Rushed” “Poorly Written” “Not gay equals bad” “Boy-cot” and other things that are just... Really really stupid... So I may has well give you guys my own two cents here. I don't expect to change any minds here; just take what I say with a grain of salt. You have plenty of it, anyway...

“Jack and Ashi should have been platonic. Like father and daughter.”

The moment I was first introduced to Ashi in episode 1, I knew she was going to play some important roll in the new season. I knew she was going to be some kind of ally to Jack. She wasn't a mindless drown like her sisters. She was curious about the world. Now keep in mind, from the beginning, I wasn't automatically shipping these two. I knew a bond was gonna form between them eventually, but I really didn't know what type of relationship it was gonna be, nor did I care. Yes, it didn't really matter to me, father/daughter, teacher/student, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever! All I cared about was seeing these two lost souls find happiness in one another. They make a great team already, so no matter which way it was gonna go, I was going to be satisfied either way. Being the gray smudge that I am, I kept an open mind about this. I'm not a big crack shipper anyway. Then again I don't get into ships that much because I know how scary they can be. So thats why I stick with pairings that are canon and that I like. But I'm sure that this might be one of the reasons why people were a upset by this. They were really hoping for that platonic relationship. Sorry, don't know what tell you there. Not everything in a show is gonna go your way. This is what Genndy wanted, but just because you didn't agree with it, doesn't mean you should be flat out calling it bad writing and hate the rest of the series for it!  I'll get into the pacing issues later, right now it's time to adress the elephant in the room...

“Jack's too old for Ashi and Ashi's a little girl!”

Yes, time is a BIG issue in this series and I can understand the problem some “fans” are having with the whole age gap thing. Like he should be really old by this point, but heres the thing. Jack doesn't age. He's still stuck in his 20's psychically AND mentally. Yes, I said mentally as well. His mind is worn out but not old. Like Jack said, time has lost it's a effect on him. As for Ashi, I'm almost more than certain that she's in her 20's as well. The real problem shouldn't be the fact that he's older than her. The REAL problem should be the fact that he can't age but she still can. Really, I'm surprised nobody's getting more mad with Aku about this, since, you know? He's the one responsible for this whole issue in the first place. Whats more annoying though, is the fact that this has become the main and almost only reason “fans” have for not liking this pairing! I mean come on! I can go on for why Edward and Bella are a bad couple, not just because he's a hundred years old, but also because despite being a hundred he still goes to high school for some reason, acts like a creep around Bella, calls her his personal brand of heroine (and how much he wants to eat her.) breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night and throws her against the wall. Yet she does absolutely nothing about it and still acts so dependent on him like she can't stand on her own two feet! * hem* Getting a off topic, I should also point out that this is not the first time we've seen a fictional couple where one person is way older than the other. It's been done many times in media. Aragon and Arwen, Rose and Greg, Aang and Katara, Inuyasha and Kagome and nobody bats an eye there. But I know you're probably going make excuses as to why I'm wrong for comparing some these couples to Jack and Ashi. “Uh, but Rose isn't even human! She's a gem and they don't age!” Still doesn't change the fact that she's still thousands of years older than him. What does being a rock- I'm sorry, a Mineral not a rock, have to do with her age? And that can go the same for Arwen and Inuyasha as well. “But-but Aang was frozen in a sphere of ice.” Yeah, keeping him persevered for over a hundred something years thus delaying his ability to age until he was set free and why he's still twelve. Even though technically speaking he was born way before Katara was born. Hell, I could dare say that Jack is in his own sphere of ice. Just not literally. Time and age have stopped round him. Thing is, even with out the fifty year time-skip Jack would still be considered thousands of years old since he comes from feudal era Japan. So no matter what girl he ended up with in this future, he would still be way older than her regardless. The more I hear this excuse brought up, the less water it holds and the more desperate it sounds. Especially when you have no other strong argument to bring, as to why these two shouldn't be together. Oh, and don't even think about calling it pedophilia! Just because we saw Ashi growing up as a child doesn't mean she is one now. I'm pretty certain she's past the teen stage. In fact we even saw what she looked like during that stage. So treating her like she's still a child is kind of insulting, honestly. You're consent miss use of the word, makes me want to strangle myself. Okay I've been ranting about this for too long... Let's- let's get to our next topic.

“ Why does media keep pushing for heterosexual couples? What a bunch of Homophobes!”

*Sssssssiiigggghhh....* I know not everyone who disagrees with this pairing thinks this way, but my God Tumblr... What's with the extremism? I've always tried to be more opened minded about a lot of things. Accept others for who they are and have always said love is a very strange thing. So don't you DARE blindly accuse me as a “homophobe” for what a I'm about to say here... Not everything has to be gay, in order to tell a good love story! There I said it! A good love story is when you can feel the connection between two characters no matter what their sexual preference is. I don't like Ruby and Sapphire just because they're mineral space lesbians, I like them because of how much they care for each other and how they can have fights and make-ups like any other couple and so on and so forth. Thats what makes a good pairing. Also saying it's out of character for Jack to have an attraction to a female because your head-canon tells you he's either ace or homo, is also not true as well. Not saying you still can't have your ace/gay Jack crack ships. You don't have to have canon dictate to you what you can or can't ship. I'm simply saying that Jack has always been attracted to woman in the show. Remember when he got kissed by that girl in the field when he was a kid. He still has fond memories of it. And is it just me or did everyone forgot, Ikra, Josephine, or that creepy flower lady from 'Seasons of Death' happened? Given how nervous he gets around woman he finds attractive and how flustered he gets when seeing Ashi naked, it's clear to me now, that he is definitely not her biological father as well. Now that he's out of his depression, it was only a matter of time before he started falling for Ashi. Why is this anti-hetero/homophobia thing even an argument at all?! Why is it even brought up?

“ But the pacing felt so rushed! How dare they force the love-interest trope down our throats. This came out of nowhere!”

Okay, I'm going to briefly play devil's advocate here. I can get where the rushed pacing argument comes from. But forced? No, put a pin on that last one. We're gonna get back to that later. First I can agree that the pacing felt a bit rushed. (Though this isn't the first time I've enjoyed something with a rushed pace. *cough*9*cough*) Still, keep in mind that the creator was only given ten episodes to work with. So certain things had to be cut out, I'm sure. If they were going make thirteen I'm pretty certain that would have given them more time to further expand on Jack and Ashi's relationship, rather then cramming all the more romanic stuff in it into this episode. However, that doesn't mean that the romance came out of no where. There were some hints dropped here and there since the beginning of episode 3 infact. We got only two more episodes left, so 8 had to be the one to fully confirm how Jack and Ashi are starting to feel for each other. I do feel like there could have been some other things they could have changed in the previous episodes to help further accentuate the relationship a little better in this episode. As far as this season goes, it may not be one of their strongest episodes, but it's not their worst either. I still enjoyed it, romance and all. Honestly I think the real weak point was the conflict of being lost in the ship with the leach creatures. Like where was everyone else, what was the backstory to this space prison. This episode was always going to be about Jack and Ashi falling love no matter what. It's just everything else was going to just feel like a little bit of an after thought. Another complaint I've heard was that this episode felt like “filler” and did nothing to progress the plot of the story. Well, I like to think of this as the calm before the storm. (Irony) You know, a few light-hearted laughs to put us at ease before the shit it's the fan. (At least thats what it was suppose to be...) Though something tells me they're just doing this to break our hearts later... And what lack of plot progression. The plot progression was with Jack and Ashi. With that said, going back to the “forced” bit. As I said before it was hinted at early on, the moment Jack and Ashi started interacting with each other. But I think the problem is because they were hinted at so subtlety, I guess it's kinda easy for most people to miss them. Thing is we don't really know how long it took Jack and Ashi to go from that mounted to that market area or how long it took for them to find that bird. You can use your mind fill in the gaps there. But I feel that to really cover this topic and why I don't find their relationship “forced” I'm going to have to dive in deeper.

Shoot me...

Okay, now I'm going to get into what I think of these two and why I think they work as a pair. Starting off with Jack, he's pretty much been through hell at this point. Losing his home, separated from his family, spends the rest of his childhood training to earn his father's sword, only meets his parents again briefly before he goes off to fight Aku. Only to have the rug pulled out from under him when Aku throws him into the future. For fifty years this man has had to deal with so much pain and suffering. Getting trolled with by Aku, always having something try to kill him, being alone, seeing all the Hell that Aku has raised, suffering from hallucinations and no matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to reach his goal. Ultimately what leads to his depression. The more time passes him by while he remains young, the further and further his goal gets. He has lost all hope. Somewhere during those fifty years, a cult of Aku obsessed women have a ceremony for their High Priestess who's given birth to seven daughters for the soul purpose to kill Samurai Jack. However one of these girls is not like the others. Ashi, does not have the same mind set as her sisters. She's curious about the world outside, wants to see the beauty of nature, but is trapped with in the confides of her abusive mother. Never aloud to play or have fun. Never shown any love or bonding with her family. Forced into training at such a young age and all while being told nothing but lies about the Samurai and what an evil person he is, ruining Aku's “perfect” world. Having never met this man, it only filled Ashi's heart with anger and hate. Now fully grown, training complete, she and her sisters set off to kill Jack. Not knowing what they were getting themselves into. Not realizing that there mother essentially sent them out to die. And thus the journey begins for these two lost souls. Jack struggling to keep moving forward while being haunted by his own negative emotions as well as being hunted down by a shogun of death. Ashi, blinded by hatred towards a man who's done her no wrong, she does not realizes she's fighting for the wrong side. During the search for the Samurai, Ashi and her sisters come across a doe in the forest. That's when the buck shows up. Thinking it's related to Aku, they thing it's come to “devour the weaker one.” What they didn't expect to see was the two deer nuzzling each others noses. This was the first time any of them have seen affection before. Which leaves them so confused, as they were never taught to love but to hate. One of them even says she doesn't like it. I also consider this part foreshadowing. It's is only after he defeats them, does the ball really get rolling. Jack assumes he's killed Ashi like the rest, but the guilt of what he's done continues to eat a way at him. Ashi then wakes up, still hell bent on trying to kill him. She ends up getting restrained by her own chain and it is here, where Jack finally has a chance to see the woman behind the mask. A very troubled woman, who has clearly lost her way like him. Seeing that she is not evil and feeling bad for killing the others, Jack not only lets her live, but goes out of his way to protect her. The real turning point comes when Jack and Ashi escape the goliath monster. Ceasing the opportunity, Ashi slowly starts to creep up on him, while he isn't looking, but just as she's a bout to try and kill him that's when the ladybug appears. This triggers a memory of when she was a child. During her training, she sees a ladybug and lets it land on her hand. Her mother scolds her for this, taking the bug away and killing it in front of her. Going back to reality, that bug flies over to Jack. He rises his hand to it as Ashi watches, wondering what he's about to do. To her surprise, he lets the ladybug go, showing an act of kindness. Causing Ashi to drop her weapon; he's not the monster her mother made him out to be. Through Jack, she learns more about the world, Ashi begins to see the truth as he shows her the beauty of nature and horror that Aku has caused. Ashi does begin to believe him, but the moment that seals the deal is after they save bunch of children from enslavement, Jack freaks out when we thinks they're all dead. He heads off with the Omen (the shogun of death from earlier) to commit suicide and she goes to find him. Thats when she meets some of the people Jack has helped over the years, thats when she fully sees the man he really is. Thinking of her past and all the good Jack has done, this is what inspires her to change her appearance. And it's because of her that Jack was able to regain his hope. She gave him the strength he needed to fight off his own demons. She protected him while he was in deep meditation to find his sword. From an army and her own mother no less. She does not hold any ill will towards him for killing her sisters, as it was out of self defense. It was her mother who sent them out there in the first place. Now that his hope has been restored and is back to being his old self. Now that he gotten to know her and sees how much she has changed for the better, it should come has no surprise that they would start noticing each other in more ways. I mean this is probably the longest anyone has ever traveled with him. So how does any of that sound forced? There was build up. Sorry if you couldn't see it.

Final Thoughts...

Ya know, I find it pathetic that this is the reason people are getting so upset that they want to quit the show when theres only two episodes left to go. And you call yourselves fans... Can't we just wait to see how the out come and then make our criticize afterwards. I'm even more disappointed with the fan-base than I am with the episode because of how everyone is acting like this pairing is such a crime. When this season started I thought this was gonna be fun. But now I'm just left sour over yet another fandom like I was with the “9” fandom. I've seen people literally saying that it made them feel uncomfortable and ruined the WHOLE series for them. Say, you wanna know what makes me feel uncomfortable? Is the more I think about it, the more it disturbs me that anybody will get pissed over a healthy relationship like this one, yet you'll see abusive couples like Harley Quinn and Joker, Fifty Shades of Gray and the of mentioned Twilight get glorified. Am I the only one who sees something wrong there? And after all the shit that Jack and Ashi have been through, wouldn't you want to see them to be happy? Isn't that what many of us wanted? My only concern is now that it's established that Jack and Ashi have deeper feelings for one another, how is the final going to effect them. Are the rumors I keep hearing going to be true? I've always been wanting to know how this series is going to end since I was eight years old and nothing is going to stop me for watching the ending. I don't even care how it's going to end. I don't care if it breaks my heart. At least I will now know and I will accept what ever Genndy has in store. Like I said from the beginning, you're not wrong for disliking or disagreeing with this pairing, I'm not wrong for liking it and thats fine. But don't act like this is such a travesty that it makes you dislike the entire series, don't quite while we're so close to the end. This whole mess has just become childish at this point. But hey, hate me all you want for expressing my opinion. There is nothing you can say to me that hasn't already been said before. Hate never fixes anything. Hate is what got Ashi's sisters killed in the long run. I've been rambling on about this for too long. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna make some Jashi fan art while I still can. In the mean time enjoy this little quote.

“Believe what you may, but if you open your eyes and let go of the hate. You will see the truth.”

~Jack

[pastelbatfandoms]

A/N: My New fan fiction story based on Characters from The Flash. Specifically Harrison,Harry and HR Wells. Also Eobard Thawne. My OC is loosely based on me. A Fantasy/Sci fi love story if you will. The first half is pretty long.

NONE OF THE GIFS ARE MADE BY ME!

5/21/17 Update:More gifs added!!

5/22/17 Update:Last update I promise. added more gifs and also added to the story as I thought it ended abruptly before. 

He came out of the portal in a flash, All Bolero hat and black with his Drumsticks and ‘Cool Cat’ attitude. I’ll admit while I found him as attractive as all the other Wells, this Harrison or “HR” as he liked to be called, seemed like he was trying too hard. His witty banter didn’t impress me at first, he was so different then the last two Wells that it threw me off, when Harry had tried to sound hip it came off as Sarcastic but this one, this HR Wells seemed so confident in what he would say that it was hard not to believe him. Of course, when he came out as a fraud and not an actual scientist I don’t think any of us where surprised. But we couldn’t stay mad at him, he was a hard man to stay mad at.

We worked together, all of us as a team that I didn’t really pay attention to when he’d try to flirt with me or agree with me more often than the others, he was still closest to Cisco but as Caitlin observed to me. “I think HR likes you.”

I made a face and shook my head. “Nah he’s just friendly. He’s like that with everyone.”

Caitlin smiled. “Yes, he is quite friendly and boisterous.” She agreed. “But more so with you. He’s always finding reasons to sit next to you or putting an arm around you. He compliments you all the time.”

“He’s just being nice.” I argued not wanting to believe it.

“He let you read his book!” Caitlin exclaimed, raising her eyebrows.

I froze and looked at My best girl friend. (My best guy friend being Cisco.) She was right HR, though he talked about it, NEVER let anyone read his stories, out of insecurity I imagined.

“Also, I don’t think he’s the only who has a crush. I see you changed your style again.” Caitlin nudged me and with a knowing grin walked off to help Cisco with something.

I frowned looking down at My all black outfit and fedora hat. My style always evolved though, true it resembled HR’s but…. Oh, who was I kidding. I sighed closing my eyes, maybe I did actually like him.  But why now? What had changed? I decided to figure that out tomorrow. Tonight I’d go home, take a long bath, sleep and try not think about anything. It didn’t work.

Especially since the next day when I arrived at Star Labs Headquarters, I learned I’d be working with HR, just us, together.

“Wait…. Me with him?”

“Oh thanks, glad you’re so excited.” HR replied in mock indignation.

I looked at him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that we’re not super smart or super human, what are we supposed to do?” I asked a questioning look on my face as I looked at the group.

HR leans his back on the rail of the hi tech computer desk.

“Yes, what are we expected to do? Renee’s right we don’t have well super ANYTHING really.” HR agrees with a carefree air.

It was Caitlin who spoke up. “Well we need Renee to…”

“Help me with My journalistic piece!” Iris jumped in. “I’m going to be helping Wally with school.” She gestured for his input.

“Yeah right! I do need Sis’s help with an English essay.”

“Yeah so I’ll need your help Renee with the new Flash editorial I’m working on.”

“I could help Wallace with school, I mean those books don’t write themselves.” HR points at Wally. “Though I wish they did that be fantasy come to life, am I right?” He looks at us to join in.

Cisco just pats HR on the back.  “Actually, HR we will need you to help Renee with the Piece maybe find some good photos'. You have that keen eye.”

HR nods in supposed understanding and smiled. “That I do.” He agrees with a snap and point of his fingers.

While I’m just looking at them still not sure why I need to be the one writing this, I say as much.

They look at each other.

“Because Iris trusts you and I trust you not to make me look bad.” Barry finally speaks up. “Besides it’ll be fun. Especially with HR helping you.” Barry finishes giving me a brotherly smile.

I sense something else is going on but my thoughts are interrupted by HR who puts an arm around my shoulders. I feel my face warm as he gives me a wink.

“Yes, I’ll make sure we have fun and that you are never bored.”

I nod relenting.

“So, Coffee run?” he suggests.

“Of course!”

“Then my place or yours?” He then realizes what he said and stammers. “I mean for the story, it’ll be quieter less distractions, you know…”

“You sure about that…” Cisco murmurs under his breath.

I just laugh and retort back. “You have a place?”

“I most certainly do!”

“Then your place it is.”

“Alright, then shall we?” His eyes light up as he removes his arm from around my shoulders and offers it to me, I take it with only slight hesitation.

“Lead the way.”

“Have fun!” The group call out grinning to one another.

When we walked outside, I looked to see the car HR had said he was driving but didn’t see one that remotely struck me as HR. No Hipster wagon in sight until I noticed HR give a dramatic gesture at a VW bug, A BRIGHT orange VW Bug. I blink in surprise.

“That’s your car?”

“Why so surprised?”

“I guess I just expected you in something flashier. No pun intended.” I shrugged.

“Nope. This is my Baby.” HR says placing a hand on the car.

He then opens the passenger door. “So, want a ride milady?” he smirks.

I give a little curtsy. “I would like that sir.” I joke, getting in.

As HR bounces over to the driver’s side, getting in and starting the car with a tip of his hat.

“What do you think of Led Zeppelin?” he asks.

“They’re ok but do you have any Poison?”

His eyes widen in what I read as pleasant surprise. “That I do.”

A while later…

We arrive at HR’s place after grabbing coffee at Jitters.  HR’s place is actually a studio and as he opens the door for me, ever the gentleman, I think it looks pretty much how I imagined it would. It’s a studio apartment so it houses a large living room, with a small kitchen, the hall revealing one bedroom and a bathroom. But it was decorated in HR’s hipster chic vibe. The living room was sectioned off by a beaded curtain, the walls were decorated with famous blues singers and old portraits, I noticed he had a vintage camera collection on the large overstuffed bookshelf in the corner. He had furniture in random styles, A large leather couch, A blue corduroy recliner and a hippie chic bean bag chair. He had an antiqued coffee table. A flat screen TV with a built in blu ray player on the wall, underneath was an actual stereo and boxes that, when I looked in, held lots of DVD’s, CD’s and a Super NES console. HR also had a large fake plant in each corner.

I stopped snooping when I heard his boisterous voice from the well-lit kitchen as he walked into the living room.

“Your Black and White Mocha My dear.” He bowed grandly, presenting me the hot coffee in its paper cup and lid.

I smiled a thank you and took it.

He peered around me.

“So, find anything interesting?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to snoop I was just curious.” I shrugged embarrassed.

“No need to be shy, I am an open book.”

“Are you really?”

HR evaded the question by hitting a button on his stereo.

“Oh! I think you’ll like this song.” As ‘Heartbeats’ by The Knife came on.

I nodded deciding not to question him further. “Yeah I do actually.”

HR claps his hands as he looks at me. “Where do we start?”

We sat on the couch with our coffees, his a cappuccino, my journals and his laptop and got to work.

We work well into the night, he’s as animated as ever but things I wouldn’t have noticed before I start noticing, since Caitlin had made those comments the day before. The way he’d sit really close to me or put an arm around me to grab a paper when he could have just asked for it. The songs he had chosen to play, I was very Intune with songs people chose, so him playing Fall Out Boy’s “Me and You’ didn’t go unnoticed.  I also realized I was paying more attention to him than usual. I noticed his genuine smile when he looked at me and his eyes that sparkled when I looked at him, not being able to repress a shy smile at his charm.

Shit I guess I really did like him….

I wasn’t sure I was ready for that, though I’m sure THAT’S exactly what our friends were thinking when they set this up.

I was ready to tell him I was tired and it was time to call it a night, when he grabbed my hand causing me to look at him in surprise.

“HR what are you doing?” I asked looking down at our hands.

HR cleared his throat before answering. He smiled nervously. “Renee um…There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Well now’s a good time as any.”

I leaned away not meaning to but I was taken aback. “HR I think I know what this- “

HR stopped me. “Wait I need to say this, it’s now or never.”

“Okay….” I met his intense gaze with my wide eyed one.

“I like you. A lot, like you light up the room a lot. I would like to date if you’re up for it.”

“HR…I like you too, I’ve come to the conclusion that I AM attracted to you.”

HR lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank you Allah!”

“Wait your…”

“What?”

I shake my head in confusion. “Never mind. Listen please.” I let go of his hand I realized I was still holding and raised my own.

HR calms down and looks intently at me. “Yes?”

“I just need time to think. I’ve done this before with Harry and The Evil Harrison and neither turned out well.”

He nods in sympathy and understanding. “I know. But I’m not them. I just look like them.”

“I know that, I just need to get my brain to make that connection.”

“I get it. My brain can get a little crazy too.” He makes a humorous face pointing to his head.

I grin. “I think we can all believe that.”

He lets out a bark of laughter. “Ha! But really I am better looking than them.” He grins.

“Well your personality certainly is.” I remark.

HR suddenly looks at me for a second and though he was grinning at me I could tell by his eyes that he was contemplating something.

I looked at him apprehensively.  “What…HR don’t kiss me.”

Though in reality as I watched him lick his lips, I realized how much I wanted him too. Then he leaned in and with a mischievous look, landed a chaste kiss on my lips. Then leapt to his feet.

As I looked at him speechless.

“Did it anyway!” HR cried as he rushed out of the room. Leaving me sitting there not sure what had just happened.

A few minutes later he poked his head around the hall, grinning and drumming his hands on the wall.

“So, do you wanna sleep here?” He asked then at my look, raised his eyebrows and his hands in innocence.

“Nothing naughty, I AM a gentleman but it is getting late and we have to leave early. You can have the couch or bed it’s your choice.”  He gestured.

I smiled warmly forgetting the kiss for a moment. “I’ll take the couch.”

“If you’re sure?”

I nodded.

“Well then Miss Renee.” I cringed at the hated nickname but let it go as he continued. “I shall let you get some sleep.” HR brought his fingertips to his lips and blew me a kiss. I blushed smiling as he disappeared down the hall.

That man is quite the charmer. I thought to myself in amusement. I settled in to bed, glad I had brought a pack of extra clothes with me.

I planned on having happy maybe even romantic dreams that night. But what showed up was far worse and, though they shared a face, were not about HR at all…

Soon. Very soon. I felt a man whisper in my ear. Then a rush of air. Then nothing as I fell back asleep.

Midnight…

I must have been crying in my sleep because my eyes shot open when I felt a warm hand on my arm and a soft voice rapidly calling my name. “Renee, Renee! Wake up.”

I looked up to see HR above me, instead of his usual wide smile he wore a concerned expression on his face. “Where you having a nightmare?” he asked.

I looked at him, sitting up. Glad he was wearing a long sleeved grey shirt and flannel pants instead of being nude as I half expected him to be, he seemed like the type to sleep without a stitch on.

Shaking my head away from that train of inappropriate thought, I answered him. “Yeah I guess I was.”

HR sat on the edge of the couch as he handed me a glass of water.

“Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes, I’ve been known to find, that helps.”

As I stared into those concerned blue eyes, I knew I needed to tell someone and who better than the guy I liked and their Doppelganger HR Wells.

“It’s about Harrison Wells, Earth one Harrison.”

HR sat up a little straighter as he regarded me. “Ah, The Reverse Flash. Go on.”

I nodded, taking a breath as I told him my sordid past with the first man I ever truly loved.

2 years ago…

I was a young college graduate, only 24, when Cisco (who I had dated briefly for 8 months in college) and Caitlin my best friend since freshman year of college, had recommended me for a job at Star Labs.

I had studied Journalism and Fashion, some Graphic Design, but what could I do with that? They were all Tech nerds. I couldn’t compete. But they convinced me to try, told me about The Flash and had me meet Harrison Wells, The CEO of Star Lab Industries and the man who had accidentally created all the meta humans, including The Flash. After a freak storm had hit the city.

Dr. Wells was confined to a wheelchair after the incident. Even in the wheelchair he exuded power, charm and quiet confidence.  I was immediately drawn to him. I came to find out, as was he.

Harrison saw something in me as well and welcomed me to the team, taking over for Cisco as the costume designer and doing the face recognition.

Over the coming months, we all worked closely together, none more so than Dr. Wells and I.  

Though he regarded Barry like a son and were Mentors and Teachers to Caitlin and Cisco, I had a feeling he regarded me as something more. He came to me first for help and I was the only one that stayed to work with him while everyone else went home. I was even asked to go out on the field and help Barry train even though I didn’t need to.

I liked being part of a team.

One night while we were doing the mundane task of filing paperwork, just us two, Harrison asked me why.

“Why what?”

“Why do you like working here? I mean you have a degree in Journalism and Design you could be working for the paper or becoming a famous fashion designer.”

“Well,” I contemplated his question. “I wanted to help out my friends.”

“That can’t be the only reason.” He said, looking at me and leaning an elbow on his chair.

I could tell by his posture that he was genuinely curious but I also felt like I was being sized up, like a Canary being spotted by a Cat. A very inquisitive, Intelligent, sexy Cat….

I shifted nervously but replied. “No, I also like helping people and this job is humbling, a lot more than being a “Famous fashion designer.” “I joked attempting to hide my nervousness. “Which is a lot harder than it sounds by the way.”

He smirked like he didn’t believe me, but seemed to let it go. “I see. Well we are glad to have you.” Is all he said as he went back to his work.

I frowned confused. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.” He said not looking at me.

“Okay…” I was still wondering what it all meant. Lost in thought.

I didn’t notice the small grin appear on his face and the dark look that peered out at me from the corner of his eye.

One night while on a stakeout Harrison asked me out of the blue. “Do you like me? I mean could you find me attractive?”

I was surprised by the suddenness of the question but not it’s context, not really. We had been subtly flirting for a while, our long looks and smiles at each other, how I’d go out of my way to talk to him, I loved learning from him, his lingering touches on my arms, once he even held my hand, though that was possibly out of fear for The Flash, I knew I was scared when he went against Blackout.

Even more scared when Wells was flung out of his chair by Blackout’s electricity.

So yes, I knew this conversation would come up eventually, though I thought it would be in an open well-lit room like say Star Labs. Not a closed in car at night while we waited for any signs that Tony Woodward aka Girder, would be showing up.

Dr. Wells coughed to get my attention and eyed me with a raised eyebrow. “Renee? Do you?”

“What?! Oh I…” I worried my bottom lip and sighed as he waited for a response.  “ I mean I do! Like you and definitely find you attractive.”

Harrison looked down and gave a small smile at that.

“Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

Harrison shrugged. “ I guess I thought because of this…” He trailed off gesturing to his legs.

“Because you can’t walk?! Do you really think I’m that shallow? I don’t care about that!”

“Really?”

“Yes, Dr. Wells I like you for you, your intelligent and cunning and a great mentor to all of us. Not to mention very, very attractive.”

I hadn’t realized I had scooted closer to him in the front seat when I felt his breath on my face as he tried one more time to dissuade me.

“What about my age?”

“you mean cause your older? I like them mature, as long as it won’t affect our working together.” I replied staring at his lips.

“It won’t.” He said in a low tone as he took off his glasses and captured his lips with mine. I touched his chest and he softly grabbed my hand, keeping it there. I breathed him in as we kissed never wanting it to end. But it did when Cisco came over the intercoms that Girder was there. We broke apart, it was ShowTime everything else would have to wait.

Flash subsequently defeated and jailed Girder.

Afterward Harrison and I talked and agreed that because he was my boss, we should keep our relationship a secret for now.

We managed to keep it under wraps despite our needing, or my needing, to touch each other whenever we were in close proximity to one another.

The team didn’t notice too concerned over the next bad guy to notice anything or anyone else, Barry was still head over heels for Iris, though she belonged to someone else. Caitlin was still trying to deal with losing and then finding Ronnie again. Cisco had met a cute barista at Jitters.

So, they all had their own love lives going on to care about ours.

Harrison still didn’t want them to know for fear of judgement. I agreed besides it was kind of fun.

Especially when we had our subtle games we played while with the team.

“Ooooh he’s kinda cute.” I remarked looking at the guy on the screen in goggles and a ski jacket with shorn hair.

“Renee he’s a wanted jewel thief!” Caitlin replied as everyone looked at me.

I raised my shoulders in defense. “So? We’ve all stolen something. Besides I like them with an edge.” I stole a flirtatious glance at Harrison who winked back at me but I could tell he was a bit bothered by the cute comment.

“At least he’s never killed anyone.” I finished, crossing my arms.

Cisco interjected walking over. “That is Captain Cold or Leonard Snart and actually he has killed people with his freeze gun.”

“Oh.”

I fell back as Harrison tried to keep from laughing a smug smile on his handsome features.

I wasn’t the only one playing though there had been a couple times Harrison had flirted with women in front of me, kissing their hands and then grinning slyly at me.

I don’t know why we played those games honestly, it’s not like we could do anything about it short of jealousy fueled makeout sessions, we still hadn’t done anything, mainly because Harrison COULDN’T not because he didn’t WANT to. Which frustrated him to no end. So, I suppose the game was all for him. To distract him. I took it all in stride for the most part.

Plus we knew we were only interested in each other, he had told me as much one evening when we were actually taking a break from work and relaxing with an old movie at his house.

As I helped him onto the couch, he put an arm around me as I laid my head on his chest once we had settled.

 “You know you’re really important to me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Harrison said in my ear.

I smiled and kissed him, realizing that was the closest to saying he loved me I had gotten.

I would take it.

My being important to him meant more to me than being in love.

As long as he wanted me I would be there.

I was realizing how much I liked him and how far I had fallen or how far I was about too…

A few months later…

Harrison led me into his apartment as I opened the door for him, saying he needed to show me something.

I was instantly curious maybe he had something that would get us that much closer to finding out who had killed Barry’s Mom.

Harrison suddenly stopped and turned in the middle of the expansive living room.

“Hare?” I was the only one who could call him that. “What did you want to show me?”

“This.” Harrison answered as he slowly rose from his wheelchair and stood in front of me.

I stared wide eyed, confused but also excited for him. “How? When did you…”

“A few days ago. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well color me surprised.” I stared at his tall lithe physique in shock and awe. “Does that mean…”

Harrison took off his glasses and slowly set them down on the desk. I don’t know why him taking off his glasses turned me on so much, but I found myself biting my lip as I followed him with my eyes.

“Yes, it does.” He finished my thought from a minute ago and before I could react, strode purposefully towards me, placing a hand on my cheek and kissing me hard on the mouth. When he lips finally left mine, I opened my eyes long enough to look into his eyes burning with heat and undisguised passion.

It was different then when we made out before there was an animalistic look to him I hadn’t seen before, he wouldn’t be holding back tonight.

He pushed me against the wall and growled into my ear. “I have been waiting too long to be gentle tonight.”

My eyes fluttered closed as he kissed my neck and I breathed out, “You don’t have to.”

I barely got the words out when his lips captured mine again and he pulled my body tight to his own, as the other hand moved up my thigh.

After almost a year together we were finally letting all that tension out, it shooting forth at super speed just like a thunder bolt bursting from the clouds.

It was only after we were lying in bed, him stroking my hair, that I asked.

“Harrison how are you able to walk now?”

He seemed to weigh my question before answering. “Simple answer? Lots of physical therapy.”

“The complex answer is very scientific isn’t it.”

Harrison snickered. “Yes, it is.”

Despite it seeming too convenient, I didn’t question him, I was just happy to finally have him like this with me, as I fell asleep with a small smile.

From then on we were inseparable. We had been close before but it was the honeymoon stage. Full of light and love,well as much light as there could be in our crazy world. Now it was  different,more intimate of course,but Harrison was more magnetic,easy,more open somehow. And while we still kept our relationship from the team a secret,also the fact that he was no longer bound to a wheelchair. 

We spent more time outside of his apartment and went to Jitters for morning coffee dates,I even grudgingly went to an opera with him,mainly so I could dress up and see Harrison in a suit. A year later I finally moved in with him. 

Present Day

“Wait you moved in with him and still didn’t notice anything?” HR interrupted,confused. “How?” 

“The same way a married couple doesn’t notice a cheating spouse or a criminal partner. By choosing not to notice,making excuses,being too in love with at person,” i admitted. “To see in my case,there murderous super villain tendencies.” 

HR gave me a sympathetic look. “How long were you together before you,you know found out he was the big bad?” HR asked making an exaggerated gesture. 

“2 years. I only found out when Barry told me and and even then I didn’t want to believe it. Until it was made perfectly clear to me…” I trailed off lost in thought. 

Then noticing HR look at me. I snapped out of it and gave him a smile. “But I don’t want to talk about it now.”

HR gives me a bright smile then. “Yeah,that’s totally fine. you can tell me when your ready or not that’s up to you.” He finished in a rush,clasping his hands and pointing at me. “Now I think it’s time for you put those thoughts to bed Missy,literally.” 

I nodded in agreement,noticing how late it was,I climbed under the covers as HR started to walk back towards his room. He then stops and turning around,knelt by the couch,taking my small hands in his cold one’s, long fingers wrapping around mine.

HR looked at me uncharacteristically calm,as he asked. “I was just curious Renee is that…Why you didn’t want to go into Jitters with me?” 

I lowered my eyes. “Yes it is.” 

I felt him squeeze my hands for a second before I looked into his concerned blue eyes as he said. “I would never do to you what Thawne did.”

We stared at each other far longer then intended until HR cleared his throat and let go of my hands,standing up. “Anyway I just want you to know that.” HR said,suddenly nervous. We nodded at each other. 

“Ok well I’m just going to…” HR trailed off gesturing to the hall,before he could turn away though I said. “HR?” 

He turned his head eyebrows raised in question “Yeah?” 

I smiled. “Thank you for helping me.” 

“Anytime Milady.” With a nod and a soft grin,he walked away. 

My thoughts of Harrison/Eobard finally diminishing for the night at least,I closed my eyes to sleep. 

End of Part 1.

[closetofheroes]

Thoughts on Stephen Colbert’s ‘homophobic’ attack on the President

'You're turning into a real prick-tator... the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock-holster'. These words and several others were fired at Donald Trump last week by Stephen Colbert, responding to Trump's rudeness towards John Dickerson on Face The Nation. I'll start by admitting that I wanted to like this speech more than I actually did, and I think there are various problems that caused the whole bit to fall just a little flat. But first I'll address the two main problems critics seem to be concerned with - the crudity of the language, and the suggestion of homophobia. Regarding crude language - this really is a non-issue. Let's grow up. 'Cock', 'prick' - they're just words. This show is on late, well past the time any self-respecting parent would allow their children to be up. The cruder words were bleeped, so we don't have to hear them. And this is comedy - it's intended to shock a little, to go beyond what most people would dare to say. Why waste time cringing over it?  If it's so intolerable, it's not hard to change the channel. The allegation of homophobia is more concerning - though it’s hard not to suspect that at least some portion of the outrage comes more from a desire to smear Colbert than from genuine offence. I can't claim to know how all LGBTQ people feel - we aren't a single collective consciousness - but for what it's worth I don’t personally know any gay men who were bothered by it. I’m a bisexual woman myself, for the record, it did not worry me. 

But getting down to the joke itself. ‘Vladimir Putin’s cock-holster’. Well, this isn’t a gay joke. It's an oral sex joke. Not ‘ha ha, Trump’s so gay’ (in which ‘gay’ equates to Trump being pathetic or weak) ‘but ‘ha ha, Trump sucks Putin’s dick’ (as in, Trump is in cahoots with Putin and is being used by him). Okay, so it might seem like there’s no real difference, but the latter is somewhat more complex than the former. Let's examine both a little more closely. To attempt to insult someone by suggesting that they are gay would certainly be a kind of homophobia - the variety that is uttered as a default insult, without much thought to the meaning or the insidious damage it does to the those of us who are LGBTQ. To insult someone by implying that they perform oral sex with a specific individual, however, is not really about gender or sexuality - it’s playing upon attitudes about a certain sex act, the gender of the protagonists being incidental. The essential point of Colbert’s remark was not to mock Trump by implying that he's gay, but to mock and challenge the dubiousness of the political relationship Trump allegedly has with Putin by thrusting them both into specific sexual roles as a comedic metaphor - a snarky suggestion that Putin is using Trump as his puppet. It should still make sense if Putin happened to be female. This joke is nothing new. Comedians have been using the act of fellatio as a metaphor for toadying, kowtowing, or sycophancy since time immemorial because it is associated with subservience, and it’s the subservient role that’s at the core of the Trump/Putin joke. It works on a political level, challenging Trump's ties to Russia, and on a personal one, reducing Trump to a sex-object and stripping him of that which he rates most highly - power. I would argue that it's not a great joke however, a) because it's old and tired and perpetuates the outmoded notion that the act of oral sex has to place the participants in roles of domination/submission; and b) because we have updated sensibilities about sexism and homophobia which naturally arise and confuse the joke's original intent. Similar jokes have been made in the UK about Theresa May and Trump, and it comes across as offensive because to portray May in a subservient role seems sexist. When it was Tony Blair and George W Bush back in the day, I don't recall there being much upset. But it's all the same old joke. My one issue with Colbert’s retaliation was that the general tone came over as pretty basic, school-yard level humour, and I felt that something more incisive would have been more satisfying. It didn't entirely make sense to me at first; this is the man who delivered that razor-sharp satirical criticism of Bush's administration at the WHCD, and it seemed odd that he'd resort to infantile name-calling. However when I reminded myself what he was specifically responding to - Trump's words to Dickerson, 'I call [your show] "De-face The Nation",' it became clear that Colbert was attempting to call out the childishness of Trump's insult by addressing him on his level, in the same infantile language. Inane word puns and lewd sexual humour dealing with power and dominance is very much Trump's repertoire, after all, and the final 'cock-holster' remark was no doubt made not so much because Colbert found it hilarious than because it was the most likely to rankle with the target of his tirade. I'm not sure how many viewers were smart enough to recognise this - obviously, I wasn't, and it may be that this attempt to ape Trump's style was too subtle, making Colbert seem like a comedian who's intelligence and comedic instincts had suffered a temporary nose-dive, rather than an emulation of the President. I suspect it is this that has gotten so many people confused. Well, some jokes misfire or fail to resonate with as broad an audience as they intend to reach. That's life. But since this has sadly resulted in the quality of Stephen Colbert's character coming into question, I think it's important at this point to remind ourselves what kind of human being he has consistently shown himself to be. No-one can know for sure how he really feels at the end of the day, but when you read through all the interviews he's given over the years, it's not too hard to gauge where he stands, and when it comes to homosexuality he has in my opinion shown himself to be supportive, curious, sympathetic and keen to empathize. People will believe what they want to believe, and I am no exception, but I think it's fair to reference a fairly telling story Colbert revealed as part of the 'It Gets Better' campaign. In the story he described a period in his younger life in which the boys at his school in South Carolina persistently called him ‘queer’ - not, he suspected later, because they believed him to be gay, but because they actually regarded it as the worst insult they could think of. He admitted that he didn’t like being called ‘queer’ and no doubt saw it as synonymous with 'loser' or 'wimp' or other insults levelled at him - until one day he saw a friend successfully shut them down and leave them stymied, essentially by responding ‘yeah, I’m queer. What about it?’ It seems to have left a big impression on him. For someone who was on the receiving end of that kind of shallow, meaningless homophobia, and experienced the revelation that the label ‘queer’ can be a source of pride powerful enough to stop high-school bullies in their tracks, it doesn’t seem plausible that he would even unconsciously use homosexuality as a tool to mock anybody. I thought it touching that Colbert felt moved to retaliate against the President in defence of Dickerson, a personal friend. It's clear to me that Colbert doesn't like bullies, and he wasn't being one - he was standing up to one.

[glaringapollo]

30 Day Warden Challenge

(But all at once)

1. Basics. A basic profile of your Warden.

Hireth Surana - 17/20 - Circle Mage (Dalish parentage) - Lawful Good - Elemental Magic

2. Appearance. Write a detailed description of your Warden’s appearance.

Standing at about 5′1″, he’s a frail looking boy with soft hands. His nose is broad and a little flat, classic elf bridge with two moles just under his eyebrows (which are pretty bushy themselves). A bit awkward looking with an overbite, soft jawline, and big ears (left ear has a mole as well). His hair is a deep brown, that he grows out over the course of the game. Also over the course of the game he gets; two scars on his jaw and one on his ear from the Archdemon, some scars across his knuckles and a gash in his left leg from his fight with Loghain (giving him a slight limp now but he has his staff for support).

3. Personality. Write a detailed description on your Warden’s personality.

NO idea how the real world works, he stumbles a lot and is naive and gets taken advantage of. A really soft spoken boy, he doesn’t smile very often, dealing with depression and anxiety. His main aspirations are to be happy and feel stable, which he puts aside to focus on others happiness as a Warden feeling it his punishment and atonement for helping Jowan. As a result of being unable to find his own happiness- he is a firm believer in others living their lives the way they like as long as it doesn’t harm others.

He only raises his voice twice, once when encountering Jowan again, and another at the Landsmeet with Loghain.

A bit self depreciating, but he’s very loyal to his friends and tries to support them as much as he can- always trying to do little things for them. Lacking a bit of empathy with certain emotional issues though, having trouble understanding struggles with family having not really known his own enough to miss them. Sometimes even when he knows he’s being taken advantage of, he still allows it to happen if it doesn’t hurt anything (the Alienage elves asking for money constantly). A bleeding heart for peoples struggles.

4. Companions. Describe your Wardens relationship with each member of their party.

Alistair - First love, quite possibly his only and last as well. Alistair’s the first person he felt a real connection to, and he clings to that connection for dear life. They don’t always see eye to eye, but they never let that interfere with their friendship. He puts his complete trust in Alistair, and would almost certainly die for him.

Leliana - Best friend! They’re both devout and relate on that point, he likes her stories, and she’s a positive person to lean on. One of the few people who can make him laugh. She is usually the one that tries to uplift his self-esteem when he’s down- he’s not sure how he feels about her past with violence, and her choice to continue pursuit of Marjolaine but they do keep in contact periodically as the years go by.

Wynne - Basically his mom/grandma, since she’s from the circle she’s known him from the start. She knows more about his past and his upbringing, and tries to continue to coax him towards being more confident in his abilities.

Shale - Despite their rocky start (pun intended) Shale’s surprising loyalty quickly won Hireth over- and his quiet company won Shale’s in return. His dedication to his cause really helped Shale warm up to him, and soon they even became a bit protective of him. Any time he gets info to help Shale return to being a Dwarf he sends it to them- wishing them the best.

Zevran - Their friendship is one built on the fact that they must trust each other. They disagree on a lot, but Zevran must trust that Hireth won’t get rid of him- and HIreth must trust the same. His flirting makes Hireth a little uncomfortable, but he doesn’t say anything on the matter.

Sten - Sten makes Hireth nervous, and while he started out wanting to befriend the Qunari- it ended with him seeing the other as nothing more than something akin to a coworker. They each had a job to do and would part ways once it was done. Their personalities just didn’t mesh well.

Oghren - Made Hireth uncomfortable, and Hireth is also the worst wingman fyi. The drunkenness was off-putting and he avoided prolonged talks with the man, but he knew the Dwarf didn’t necessarily have any ill will. Was actually a bit relieved to see Oghren in Awakening- having a familiar face was a comfort.

Morrigan - Despises her, and the feeling is mutual.

5. Romance. Who is your Warden’s romantic interest and why are they attracted to them? Describe their relationship. If your Warden has no romantic interest explain why.

He is so very gay, and Alistair is unfortunately not (tbh I do headcanon Alistair as pan (w/ a preference to women but not against dating other genders) but he’s also dense so they still don’t get together lmaooo).

6. Sexuality. What is your Warden’s sexual orientation? Describe your Wardens past sexual experiences [if any].

Honestly? Hireth never showed much interest in others as a teen. He is gay, and has had an odd crush or two but never anything really intense (I let characters develop as I play, and I thought he was going to be Ace before he saw Alistair and was just like “I wanna have sex w/ him” like boy CHILL).

7. Choices [Part One]. Describe your Wardens choices in the five main quests: Arl of Redcliffe, Urn of Sacred Ashes, Broken Circle, A Paragon of Her Kind & Nature of the Beast.

AoR - After shouting at Jowan (”No no, you MADE this mess and you’re fixing it!! You don’t just get to run away every time you have to face consequences, Jowan!!”), he enlisted the help of the Circle Mages (”I can fix it but it requires bloo-” “No.” “But--” No.”), and killed the demon (no deals for him).

UoSA - Fought that fucking dragon because I didn’t know you could skip it, of course he didn’t taint the ashes he’s A GOOD ANDRASTEAN BOY.

BC - Saved the circle, it’s his home and he actually liked it there...

APoHK - Sided with Caridan, seeing the Anvil as too cruel. He had Harrowmont put on the throne, seeing him as the more peaceful of the two (he hates Orzammar).

NotB - Managed to lift the curse and allow the elves to live.

8. Choices [Part Two]. Describe your Wardens choices later in the game: The Alienage, the Landsmeet and Morrigan’s ritual.

Alienage - Got rid of the slavers in the Alienage, refusing to deal with them and gave generously to the false beggars.

Landsmeet - Managed to get everyone on his side, he actually got increasingly angry with Loghain, even yelling at him for the shit he had pulled- when the challenge to duel was set, he agreed to be the one to fight Loghain not wanting to force anyone to fight his battles and worrying that Alistair’s anger would get the better of him. He was not able to execute Loghain however- and Alistair gladly did that one for him. He had brought up marrying Anora to Alistair but quickly defaulted when Alistair showed upset, not wanting to pressure him into anything.

Morrigan’s Ritual - [TW: Rape Mention - TL;DR vers Hireth did the Ritual with Morrigan] OK, so- due to the feel I got for Hireth and the way Morrigan’s wording came off, canonically for MY game Hireth was technically raped. While he did agree to the ritual, he felt guilted and blackmailed into it. Initially he put up a fight, accepting the fact that he will die, willing to give up his life to slay the Archdemon. Morrigan of course fought the decision, bringing up Alistair and the chances of Alistair being the one to give the final blow (”He IS a templar after all... you as a mage would be much further away, he’d have the higher risk.”) and pressuring Hireth to convince Alistair to sleep with her. Hireth refused, not wanting to force Alistair to do anything, let alone sleep with someone he hardly got along with- and Hireth gave in agreeing to the ritual.

He doesn’t like to think about it, for obvious reasons.

9. Motivation. Describe why your Warden made the choices they made during the Blight. Go into detail about who influenced them and how any key events from their past influenced them.

Hireth threw himself down as a servant to the people, he felt it his duty to completely be at the whims of the public and their needs. He feels guilty for assisting Jowan after it being revealed that he really was a blood mage, he also humbles himself incredibly once he finds out that jealousy is what drove Jowan to study blood magic.

10. Joining The Wardens. How did your Warden react to being recruited? Include your Wardens thoughts about Duncan and whether or not they were conscripted in your answer.

He sees it as a punishment- he technically had to be conscripted because he was ready to default to the punishment of the circle- whether it be death or made tranquil. The thing is, even if Jowan wasn’t a blood mage or he got out fine, Hireth would’ve turned himself in after giving it a few hours for Jowan to get away.

He likes the Wardens well enough, but he and Alistair definitely don’t see eye to eye on it being an honor. His opinion on Duncan was luke-warm, he didn’t dislike Duncan but at the time he was hit hard with depression over being conscripted and ripped from the only life he’d known.... so he didn’t really reach out to connect to anyone in the first 6 months or so.

11. Spirituality. What does your Warden believe in? Describe your Wardens Religion or their Atheism. Go into detail about how they practice their beliefs, if their beliefs cause conflict among their companions and how their beliefs guide them morally.

Hireth is a very devout Andrastean, he believes in the Maker and follows a strict moral code of ‘goodness’ in part to that . While merely being a believer in the start, he really falls in love with Leliana’s own teachings on the Maker and His love for everyone. Especially since Hireth follows a “happiness is important” sort of code of conduct, and that really supports the idea (as long as it doesn’t hurt others obviously). He prays every night before bed, which has definitely received some snark from certain party members. Zevran teases him about it, but is never malicious as his teasing is usually good natured. Alistair and him sometimes discuss the religion as two who’ve been under the pressing thumb of the Chantry their whole lives-

Both agree that it was straining, but Hireth never let it get to him the way Alistair seemed to.

12. Tattoos. Does your Warden have any tattoos and if so how did they get them? If you Warden has no tattoos explain why not. Also include how your Warden views tattoos - Include their reaction to the Dwarven Casteless brands and the Dalish Blood Writing.

He’s a big baby who don’t want no pain.

As far as tattoos as a whole go, he has no real opinion on them outside the fact that he doesn’t want one. He’s a bit horrified by the Casteless brands, not understanding how anyone could forcibly do that to others- children included. Dalish blood writing doesn’t phase him as much though due to him being Dalish born.

13. Viewpoint [Part One - Race & Social Class]. Describe how your Warden feels about the Dwarven caste system, Human nobility and Elven alienages. Also go into detail about your own Wardens race/social class and if they are proud/ashamed of where they come from.

He doesn’t understand it at all, honestly. He’s a bit bitter at the treatment of elves- but in the circle he wasn’t really treated wrongly. He was the First Enchanters star pupil, so he didn’t really experience how harsh others racism could be until he was shoved out into the real world.

The Dwarven caste system is the most upsetting to him, that they’d treat others of their own race that way. Elven Alienages upset him a bit too, and I like to imagine that while he travels he always stops in them to help them out.

Personally though, he is proud of his being an elf and a mage.

14. Viewpoint [Part Two - Mages Rights]. How does your character view Mages? Apostates? Blood Magic? How do they react to Morrigan’s shape shifting? How do they react to Wynne being a abomination? If they are a Mage describe their views of the Circle and if they believe they should be free or not.

Being a mage, he views them as just other people. He understands that they hold a great deal of power, but he doesn’t quite grasp the fear of mages that others have. While he personally supports the circle (he wishes to see it as a learning institution though, and would like more freedoms to experience life to be available), he doesn’t dislike apostates for not wanting to be in one.

Blood magic is just evil in his opinion, and should never be used.

He was fairly impressed by Morrigan’s abilities, but made uneasy especially with the implications of her mother being an abomination- that on top of her general attitude kept him from fully trusting her.

Wynne taught him that there are other spirits in the world, and her being touched by one and turned to an ‘abomination’ actually furthered his belief in the Maker that there was a kindness in this world for them.

15. Leadership. What is your Warden like as a leader? How do they lead and how do they handle companions disagreeing with them?

He really grows into the leadership role, he’s a very gentle force and while uncertain at first- he later develops a conviction in his actions. Hireth likes to think that he ‘guides’ more than leads. Any time a companion disagrees with his choices, he usually just reminds them that they don’t actually have to listen to him, but they usually just go with it anyway because they’re there for a reason.

16. Fear. During the quest Broken Circle your character is trapped in the Fade by a Sloth demon If you could personalize your Warden’s nightmare what would it be about? And why?

Chaos, and a lack of control. His nightmare would probably center around how every action he does, the opposite happens. Tries to pick up that book? His reach pushes it away instead. Noise, and over stimulation and not being able to stop it- really fucking with his anxiety.

17. Regret. During the Urn of Sacred Ashes quest you will be introduced to the Guardian who will ask the Warden if they regret something from their past. If you could personalize the Guardian’s question what would he ask? And how would your Warden answer?

Honestly? The question about Jowan would still be fitting. His answer would be more in depth though, about how he would wish that he was more aware of Jowan’s feelings and emotions. Their friendship was a bit of a stale one out of convenience more than a connection, and honestly Hireth blames that fact on himself, and as a reason Jowan turned to blood magic at all.

18. Moral Alignment. What would your character moral alignment be and why?

His alignment is clearly Lawful Good, while he feels that others should have a more- neutral good lifestyle (again, he feels happiness is important as long as it’s harmless), he himself is Lawful. The times he has broken the law/rules, were for the benefit of others. He’s never stepped outside of the law for his own benefit.

19. Fighting Style. Describe your Warden’s fighting style and how it improves during the Blight. Make sure to include what specializations they trained in and why they chose them.

He definitely gets more aggressive in style as the time goes on, he specialized in elemental magic as a part of his training in the circle and carried that on (he was most capable of fire spells, and later electricity due to his precise control on the spells he casted). While starting out shakey, and afraid of actually hurting people, he soon got a better footing on the need to defend himself and his friends and knew his limits and capabilities. His control on his magic allowed him absolute confidence in battle.

20. Weapons/Spells. Describe your Warden’s favourite weapon/spellsand describe what their favourite weapons/spells say about their personality.

As stated, he specialized in elemental spells, which contrasted a bit with his controlling nature to use such unpredictable means- but that was part of what was actually a bit scary about him. He had the control and precision to handle those spells well, if he didn’t want his flames to be unruly and go beyond a certain parameter- they wouldn’t.

21. Meeting Your Warden. Your Warden has been transported into your bedroom through a magical portal. How do they react to meeting you? Do you get along? What is their opinion of your bedroom? Explain the meeting and go into as much detail as possible.

I am not going into detail over this, lmao. He’d be upset by my room and my life choices, I’d be way too loud for him, and we’d get along in a passive sort of way.

22. Favourites. Make a list of your Warden’s favourite things [Colour, Food, Music, Animals, etc]. Explain why they are their favourite.

-Green -- He never put much thought into his favorite color, and wouldn’t be able to answer the question personally... but his wardrobe is filled with nice earthy tones and he is definitely biased towards the color even if he doesn’t realize.

-Spicy foods? -- I-- I can’t really think of a specific food but he loves flavorful ones so I can definitely see him enjoying spicy foods. The nights where Zevran cooks are his fave (Zevran uses the good Antivan spices).

-Piano -- Piano’s are his favorite instrument so he really likes relaxing tunes, soft and melodic. He’s not the biggest fan of vocals, but he doesn’t mind when Leliana sings, and sometimes he joins her if he doesn’t think anyone is listening.

-idk what else to state as his fave lmao

23. Talents & Hobbies. What did your Warden like to do before they were recruited and what do they like to do now when they’re not battling Darkspawn? Also include any talents they may have.

He actually enjoyed writing academically and would compile notes on historical events to find inaccuracies and conflicting information. He writes down reports of his travels now, and compiles them for future information. Overall, hobbies are also reading, and he’s recently taken an interest in Dwarven history.

His talents though, is that he actually has a pretty singing voice.

24. Going Out For A Drink. The DA:O writers were asked in a interview how each companion would act if they went out for a drink [To see responses go onto the Dragon Age Wiki – Character’s Page – Trivia].How would you character react if they went out drinking with their companions and why? What drink would they order?

He’d be nervous the whole time, Hireth doesn’t like drunks... he’d probably be DD (or the closet you can be in Fereldan). He would get water, maybe a virgin drink at the pressure of his friends.

25. Food Comparison. The DA:O writers were asked in a interview to compare each companion to a type of food based on their personalities. [To see responses go onto the Dragon Age Wiki – Character’s Page – Trivia]. What food would your character be and why?

Man I dunno enough about foods for this shit, sweet potato casserole. Because it’s soft and sweet????

26. NPCs. Choose four random NPCs in the game – they can be anyone you want – and describe what your warden thinks of them and their relationship.

First Enchanter Irving - More like a father to Hireth, he tried very hard to make him proud- feels a lot of guilt over lying to him to help Jowan but becomes a bit bitter towards him after finding out he was trained to become a Warden all along.

Ser Otto - Hireth actually has a soft spot for older Templar’s. While wary of younger ones who want in for a feeling of control, most older one’s are just lyrium addled and he pities them. He thought highly of Otto for going to address troubles in the Alienage, protecting the elves like he would humans. He was upset over his death.

Anora - Pitied her for having to deal with her father’s decline, but was ultimately a bit displeased with her as a whole. Something about her demeanor rubbed him wrong but he mostly thinks that’s the result of her coming from a place of wealth (especially bc Cailan had the same effect on him). He appreciated her composure during the Landsmeet, especially since he got sick in front of everyone after watching a man get beheaded...

Loghain - Was intimidated by him from the start, he avoided Loghain at all costs if he could- A bit shocked by the betrayal, but slowly grew to truly hate the man over time. One of the few people he’s actively gotten angry with.

27. Family. Describe the members in your Warden’s family and what your Warden’s relationship with them is like.

I need to change up some of his backstory, but he was originally a Dalish elf. He had a similar background as Minaeve, but I have a bit of a different outlook on the ‘casting out’ part. I think once a child exhibits magical abilities it’s less that they’re ‘cast out’ but more like put on a trial to prove they can handle their selves and abilities to ease worries of attracting demons. Usually they’re monitored but shit happens. As did with Hireth.

Now he doesn’t have clear memories of his parents, exhibiting magic very early on, but they were an elven huntress and the First to the Keeper. His mother was a bit playful, and a prankster- which contrasted with his father’s sullen attitude, but they were together due to being childhood sweethearts and were very close aside from this. They weren’t quite fit for being parents, which lead to them botching up Hireth’s trials and honestly decimated their own relationship afterwards.

In the circle First Enchanter Irving became a father figure for him, he put the man up on a pedestal that slowly crumbled once he left the Circle and found out things Irving had been keeping from him.

Wynne later becomes somewhat of a ‘grandmother’ to him, and he finds family with his companions (namely Shale, Alistair, Zevran, and Leliana).

28. Playlist. Write out a list of songs that describe you Warden and their journey to defeat the Blight. You can include songs you think describe your Warden’s relationship with specific companions if you want to. Make sure you explain why you have chosen each song.  

I’m not explaining the reasons behind these.

29. Backpack. Name 5 items in your Warden’s backpack and explain their significance to your Warden.

A copy of the Chant of Light, and an amulet of Andraste, comforting items of his faith that he clings onto.

An over read book on the history of the Dalish, it’s inaccurate and he knows it- but it was the only thing he had to help him feel connected to where he came from. It’s dog eared on points that he remembers to be true. While he’s not particularly interested in joining back with the Dalish or anything- he still won’t deny his roots.

Dumb headcanon, but since to make the heads connect to the bodies look ‘natural’ the game gives all the characters these weird choker things- I headcanon that those are fucking “friendship” necklaces that Alistair made for everyone. Hireth still has his.

A gem stone given to him from Shale, he plans to return it to them once they become a dwarf again.

He has other keepsakes from companions as well but these are the most significant.

30. Happily Ever After…Or Not. How does the Blight end for your Warden? Describe who killed the Archdemon, How they reacted to Morrigan’s offer, If they lived or died and what boon they asked for if they did live.

The Archdemon is destroyed, surprisingly enough-- Hireth made the final blow in a panic at the thought that the ‘ritual’ was a lie and not wanting Alistair to die he clumsily swung a dropped sword at the beast. Obviously was very against Morrigan’s offer, and slowly has to cope with his own choices. He lived, and didn’t ask for a boon, because he’s a pure fucking child.

[flamboyantommo]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

Thank you @a-writerwrites for tagging me in this! It took me a while, but I did it!

1. List of works published this year: 

Like to Keep You Laughing

Shut It Down When the Time Comes

Get My Good Side

So Long I've Been Waiting

Bye Bye's Are Not For Legends (I'm Forever Young)

Wednesday Edits (the only one not for an exchange of some sort)

Day 10: Scrub a Dub Dub (from the 30 Days of Smut Challenge)

Plus, one fic in the Girl!Direction Exchange, and one in the HL Exchange. I can’t say which ones yet, since authors haven’t been revealed. =)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Probably Like to Keep You Laughing. It’s the only fic I’ve written with ace or aro characters. I researched asexuality so much before attempting to write anything with that fic because I really wanted to avoid offending anybody. It took a lot of putting myself in the character’s shoes to really figure out how they would act. Well, more than usual, anyway. And it turned out really well. I’ve gotten so much good feedback on it and I’m definitely proud of that. 

This is totally cheating, but just want to say that I’m also super proud of Wednesday Edits, because it took me a year and a half to finish that, and I wanted to give up so many times, but I didn’t. And I’m so happy I finished because I think it wound up being great. So I’m proud of that, too! 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I wouldn’t say that I’m least proud of it, but I wish that I had more time to work on Get My Good Side, which was the fic I submitted for the Winter Exchange. But I was a pinch hitter, so I only had like, three weeks, I think? I wound up going in an entirely different direction, no pun intended, with it than what I planned on, just because I ran out of time. But I’m still happy with the story! 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

This is from Bye Bye's Are Not For Legends (I'm Forever Young). 

“Leaving so soon?”

Harry glanced over his shoulder, only to see a third man; Louis, he guessed.

This man was far more beautiful than the others, with bright blue eyes, a button nose and light brown shaggy hair that had a single strand that curled down the side of his face.

He stood with a wide stance, and his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was staring Harry down, daring him to make a move.

Harry turned to face him and said, “I guess you’re Louis?”

“Maybe. Where do you think you’re going?”

“Home, fucker. I don’t know you and there’s no reason for me to stay.”

“How about this reason? I know what you did to Bennett.”

Harry stilled. There was no way he knew about the money.

“What was it? Ten thousand dollars? No, a hundred thou- No! It was four hundred and seventy thousand dollars that you stole. That’s impressive.”

“Shut up.”

“What’d you do with the money?” Louis wanted to know. “I mean, we saw your apartment. You definitely didn’t do any remodeling with it.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, thanks. So how’d you do it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Of course I would,” Louis grinned. “And so do Liam and Niall.”

At the mention of their names, the other two men appeared from another room, flanking Louis on either side.

“I mean, we already know it’s some kind of mind control. But I get the sense that it’s more complex than that.”

“Why would I tell you?” Harry asked.

“Because we want you to join us,” Louis answered.

“Excuse me?”

Niall nodded happily. “See, we’ve been working together for nearly ninety years now. It’d be nice to have someone else join the ranks. And your power is very interesting.”

“And what exactly is it that you do?”

“Save the world,” Liam answered simply. “Save people from destroying themselves and those around them. Prevent the fall of mankind, that sort of thing.”

“How?”

“Well, like you, young Harry,” Louis replied, “we’re immortal. See, we did some research on you. You stopped aging in 1951, and have been traveling the world ever since. You mainly lived in London up until last year, when you moved here, to this fine city of New York. And last week, you robbed Adam Bennett of almost half a million dollars, which, like I said before, is very impressive.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I love every single comment that I get on my stories, but the ones that meant the most and that made me want to cry the most were the ones on Like to Keep You Laughing. Most of them were from people who identify as ace or aro, and hearing from them that my representation was accurate was incredible. 

Like these ones: “Wow, thank you thank you for writing this! There's definitely not enough ace/aro-centric fiction in this fandom (or most fandoms, really) and you did such an excellent job repping those communities here--at least, I thought so, based solely on my own personal experience being ace and talking to some other ace people. And of course it was very well written and thoroughly enjoyable to read, and I loved your characterization. No pressure, obviously, to keep working on something you feel in your heart is finished, but if you write anything else in this 'verse I'd definitely love to read it. Thanks again for taking the time to write this and posting it! Pleasure to read <3″

“No offense but this was perhaps some of the best characterisation I have ever had the pleasure of reading, like honestly the dialogue was so good and natural and so /them/ it felt like I could hear those words coming out of their mouths, like I wasn't just reading them saying something because it was necessary for the story. And the way you depicted being ace and aro, it was just so good and so well-written and well-thought, I've seen some fics either over do it or just fall completely flat I truly adore this as someone on the ace/aro spectrum and just as someone who loves great writing. If I could leave even more kudos I would!!”

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I already mentioned that it was tough during Wednesday Edits, but it was also really hard when I was writing my fic for the HL Exchange. This was the most recent, and there’s just been so much shit going on in the fandom that there were so many days when I felt like I wanted to just leave for good because I stopped caring and just couldn’t handle it. So writing these characters based on Harry and Louis was really difficult. But I did it! I had support from a bunch of people and I continued reading fics and I just kept reminding myself why I love them so much. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

Definitely Ace Harry/Aro Niall in 'Laughing,’ because I’m just so happy with how I described them and how I had them act in the fic. But also, OT4 in Bye Bye's Are Not For Legends (I'm Forever Young), because in that fic, the boys all have super abilities. They’re immortal and have been working to ‘save the world’ for a long time, so it was interesting to write them as characters who change over a long period of time. Plus, I got to write them in fight scenes, and I’m surprised that I managed to make those somewhat believable. 

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I’m not sure, really. I’ve definitely tried a lot of new things in writing - this year I wrote mpreg, superheroes, ace characters, kid fics and girl!direction - in addition to writing my standard pining and fluff. So maybe that’s it? 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

DESCRIBING THINGS. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t been called out on this more, but I’m horrible at describing setting and appearances. If a character walks into the living room, for example, I almost never tell the reader what the room looks like, what kind of furniture there is, how the character looks, etc. That’s just never been my strong suit, probably because I usually skim over a lot of that stuff when I read fics. So maybe I’ll try to work on that, haha. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

First and foremost, I have to thank Michelle @temporaryfixlouis for being the best beta in the world. You’ve helped me through so many fics, probably more than I have the right to ask for! And you translated some awesome German for ‘Bye Bye’s,’ which made sure I didn’t sound like an idiot writing subpar German. Also, Jen @evenasyoungastheyare for working with me and drawing amazing art for Day 10. Your drawings made me so much more excited to post the chapter! And of course, every author who’s written an amazing fic this year that kept me motivated to keep working on my own stories.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Uhh, most things, haha. Wednesday Edits (and the first part, Monday Meetings) are largely based on my years as a newspaper editor and my time in college, as well. So much in those fics are actual things that I experienced, which helped me write them. Also, my fic for the HL Exchange is based on a lot of things I’ve done in my hometown, and even my job. Let me stop before I tell you which fic is mine. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

1) Don’t give up. You’re going to get so frustrated some times, but it’s all worth it when you have a fic that’s done and ready to be posted. 2) PROOFREAD. Don’t rely on a beta to catch every mistake for you. Proofread while you’re writing, after you write a scene, after you write a few scenes and at the end. And then read the whole story all the way through again. (I’m a little obsessive over proofreading, if you couldn’t tell.) 3) Don’t write in order. I’ve lost inspiration so many times because I couldn’t figure out how to start a story. Usually, one specific scene in a fic stands out for me, and it’s most likely a scene that happens in the middle or toward the end. So just write down everything that you’re thinking of, and then go back and fill in the rest. I usually outline the fic around whatever I have written, and put little notes in if I have an idea of something I want to happen before or after what I already have. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Not right away. I’m taking a much needed break from writing because it’s been overwhelming lately. But I have the third and final part in The Taylor Times series, which I’m excited to work on. I already have a title, so I’m hoping that helps with writing it. I also want to go back over the 5.5K words I had originally written for the Winter Exchange and see if there’s something there that I can salvage. Plus, for at least a year, I’ve been wanting to write a fic based on my day care job, because I think it would be adorable. There would be a lot of cute three-year-olds saying funny things and it would definitely be genderswap, because that’s what I’m experiencing, so... Finally, there are a bunch of my fics that I’ve always wanted to write sequels for, so maybe I’ll finally get around to doing any one of those. 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I know it says three, but I never follow the rules for these things, so let’s go with @jaerie, @100percentsassy, @suddenclarityharry and @louehvolution. 

And anyone else who’d like to participate!

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)

[derenyanai]

Araquu Journal Session #9- Yue and Wendy

Time: Not long after Journal Session #9 Characters: Yue, Wendy, Navi

Posts indented like this were typed by the GM.

Posts that were not indented were typed by the player.

The morning after she goes Werewolf, Wendy seeks breakfast, and Yue decides to join her...

Emerging from Maska's room, with a yawn and a rather loud growl of her stomach, is Wendy! She had woken up not long after the conversation previously covered, and was only just now emerging to get some breakfast.

Much after everyone else Yue wakes up on the couch, head on the ground feet on the back. her hair is a mess. the blanket is behind the couch and her pillow some how on the other side of the room. She stretches and yawns.  She would look around spotting Wendy coming out for some breakfast, "Good morning" she cheerily states upside down on the couch.

"Good Morning!" Wendy greets with a smile, though it's shortly punctuated by another yawn. "Mmm... foooood..." Spying the tray of pancakes on the table, she moves over to help herself.

"Food?" Yue states half awake still, then it dawns on her FOOD Actual Food! She flips around  where  her back use to be on the couch she is now stomach facing the couch, her legs on the cushions and hands on the floor and she crawls over to the table in her tanktop and shorts, "Foooood..." she states grabbing another plate with edible food on it.

Wendy is, pun fully intended, wolfing down the food. She doesn't appear to be stopping. Must be hungry.

Yue is also very hungry as she is also wolfing down her own food, "Mphh this is very good." she states looking at Wendy.

"Uh-huh! I wonder who made it..."

"Prolly Maska or his dad.... Unless someone else knows where everything in this house is located" Yue points out.

"Maybe it was a GHOST!" Wendy theorizes, as she noms the foods.

"Yeah, That's true. Though it would be one of those nice ghosts." Yue confirms as if it's normal then after a pause does a bit of a laugh.

Wendy nods seriously. "So what're you guys gonna do after this?" she asks.

"We're..." Yue pauses not really sure, "Going to do some police work and be, TRUE SUPER DETECTIVES!" She states in a showmanship kind of tone to help entertain.

"Detective stuff is boring," Wendy pouts.

"No no, Super Detectives, where we face inter-dimensional beings bent on invading our world for their own purposes. Also facing down super villains bent on Destroying our magic. Let's not forget about taking down monsters that wish to harm others, such as yourself. It's never boring for a Super Detective!" She has gotten up and put a foot onto the table Captain Morgan style, "Super Detectives are avengers of justice! Unlike those normal boring detectives." Suddenly a cloud of smoke booms from behind her, yes she spent one of her Variable points to have the flashy magic to do this.

Rather than being impressed by this, Wendy yelps in alarm and hides under the table, apparently scared by this.

Yue raises an eye brow then looks under the table, "Hey, hey no need to be scared, the baddies are gone." she says, by the way there was no sound just visuals.

Wendy is shuddering in fear, but she does seem to listen and slowly climbs out from under the table.

"Sorry about that I can get a bit carried away some time." she rubs the back of her head  looking down as if she was just scolded.

"A-Are the monsters gone now?" she asks, whimpering.

Yue places a hand on Wendy's shoulder, "Yes the monsters around here are all gone now." if Wendy allowed Yue would hug her for comfort.

She's not comfortable with hugs, but she does calm down a bit more, and is easily pacified when Navi passes the table and drops off more pancakes, this time with syrup.

Yue begins  to drool some before wiping her mouth, "So, it was you making breakfast all along." she grins, "Thank you."

"T'be fair, Maska did start us off, but then he had to go do store stuff or something lame like that," Navi waves Yue off as she moves the ten steps she has to take to re-arrive in the kitchen.

Wendy is wolfing down more food. Werewolf transformations must make you hungry.

Yue smiles at the food eating that Wendy is doing when her stomach growls, wait didn't she just eat? She begins to have her seconds of what is there on the table. Using her connection to Magic (variable power) must make her hungry as well and she used it for a good chunk of the night.

Navi shakes her head, not quite disappointed, but not really shocked either, as she makes more food for these hungry children.

"So what kinda police stuff are you doing?" Wendy asks between pancakes.

"Right now, I'm helping out the others here, handle creatures that come into our world, also some secret stuff I'm not sure I can share with you." she puts her finger to her lips in the 'secret hush hush' manner.

Wendy gasps in wonder. "What kinda secret stuff?"

A faint 'thud' as Navi whacks her head against a cabinet.

"I don't know, are you sure you can keep a secret?" she leans back in her chair as if judging her.

"I keep it a secret that I'm a werewolf!" she huffs, a bit offended that Yue thinks she can't.

Yue smiles, "That's good." She looks around then leans in motioning Wendy to come closer.

Wendy leans in closer, excited about this as evidenced by the fact that she's bouncing up and down in her seat.

In a whispered voice she states "We're working with the city council to protect special artifacts from around the city that help keep the city safe from evil outside forces that would want to cause harm to the people here."

"Ooohhh!" Wendy nods seriously. "Like Grandpa had!" Yeah, that makes sense. Wait, what?

"Yeah like grandpa..." Yue looks confused for a brief second before looking like nothing was wrong she was rolling with it.

Wendy doesn't seem interested in continuing this, just nomming her pancakes more.

"So, Wendy, you said you enjoyed my shows right?" Yue wonders taking another bite of her pancakes.

"Uh-huh!" Wendy nods. "They're super cool! It's something to do afterschool 'cause I don't have friends."

Yue looks shocked, "But you're super cool though. How about this, I'll be your friend, how does that sound?"

"Really?" Wendy gasps. "My dads don't let me have friends 'cause I might hurt other kids my age, or turn them, and that'd be real bad, something about proximity?" she shrugs. "But you guys already showed you can handle it!"

"Yep! Also, since we're now friends, how would you like to join me on my show some times?" she wonders.

"I could!?" she gasps, then her smile falters. "But... I can't do magic yet."

"Just because you can't do magic doesn't mean you can't join my show. We could do a whole learning segment, and..." she pauses a bit, "...I think it will be great! I can help teach you magic and you can join me on my show, what do you say?"

"Dad says you can't learn magic until you're at least sixteen, and I'm only ten," Wendy pouts. "I don't wanna break the law."

"Only 10 huh? And here I was thinking you were older," Yue is trying to make good of an awkward situation since she has herself been capable of doing magic since a young age and was taught how to control her abilities to a degree she was a special case, "Well, in any case, you can still help me there are tons of things non-magic related that we can do from, singing, dancing, parkour, and other activities. Heck we can even just play some games with each other."

"Ooh! Parkour's the one where you go to a park, right?" Wendy. Wendy please.

"Sometimes, It's basically doing really cool stunts like climbing walls and being able to tumble from a fall and such." She smiles.

"Oh, that sounds like it'd hurt..." she frowns, nomming another pancake.

"It could... There would just need to be some practicing, then you'd be the envy of most people."

"But wouldn't a parkour wolf be dangerous?" Wendy asks.

"Only if the wolf was uncontrolled." Yue points out, "I think you could be able to control your special abilities given the proper training," she states.

"Y-You really think so?" Wendy asks. "I could be like... a wolf hero?"

"I don't see why not." Yue replies, "Though having some proper training to have control of your wolf self would be the most important part. I could help you if you like," she grins.

"Do you have experience with werewolves, Yue?" Wendy asks, sipping some syrup from a cup, because she's ten.

"Yeah, I do have experience with werewolves. And I'm sure everyone else here would be more than happy to help as well," she states now dragging everyone else into the mess without consulting them.

"DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS SH-...OW WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" Navi yells from the kitchen.

"So, you wouldn't want to help, our adorable friend Wendy with being able to control her abilities?" Yue called back.

"You'd have about as much luck convincin' me to do something I have no idea how to do as y'all would have with convincin' Maska to stop flirting with people," Navi points out.

"But, Navi, that's what Aldrid and I are there for, you, Eiriol, Maska, and Cecily would just need to help us execute our plans to help our important friend. What do ya say huh?"

"Unfortunately for you, I'm immune to puppy dog eyes and the reasoning of a ten year old," Navi snarks back as she puts more pancakes on the table.

"Then how about this, You scratch my back I scratch yours. In exchange for helping Wendy, I'll do any favor within my power for you, how about it?"

"No." Navi gives a flat glare to Yue, which actually looks kind of intimidating with her hood and how her eyes almost seem to glow underneath it. "I don't do favors for people I've just met."

"Fair enough." Yue puts her hands up in defeat, "Well, you have your reasons." Yue smiles to off put the intimidating glare.

With that said, she goes back into the kitchen, cleaning up, apparently finished with her cooking for now.

"...she's kinda scary," Wendy frowns, staring at her back.

Yue keeps up the grin, "Yeah, but I think she's warmin' up to me a bit." she gives a small chuckle looking back at Wendy trying to liven up the spirits around the heavy atmosphere room., "Just give her some space, she has her own troubles, everyone does."

"If you say so," she says, sounding uneasy as she finishes her food.

[[END OF JOURNAL SESSION]]