#all that to say is my head I love to imagine him happy

[zepskies]

And I'm SO happy you're back, my lovely Wayne!! Of course, you decide to spoil me with this review the minute you dip back into this hellsite. 😘

(yesss, and don't think I didn't see that chapter you dropped of Polaris! When I get back from my vacay I will be diving into that. I need to know what happens next with our favorite cowboy sheriff 🤠)

I'm very glad and grateful you made the time to start ESC! I had so much fun figuring out Russell Shaw and the Tracker cast -- especially with all them Deanisms. 😏

Diving into the rest of your awesome comments below!! 💕

First of, Professor Goldstein is a piece of work... 😒 I wouldn't blame her for spitting into his coffee every time he calls her sweetheart. But Russell, I see you. She's gonna be so annoyed with him 😂

Oh he's a piece of something, all right. 🙄 She could def pull a Rachel on his ass. And Russell...lmao, you already saw where he's heading with this. 😂

Ooooh, another professor character paired with some rugged Mountain Man 😏 I'm addicted to those couples. She's all business up front, and he's all party in the back (seat of his Chevelle) 🤪

LOLL the way it didn't even occur to me when I was writing this (at first) that I was writing another professor paired with a law enforcement (sort of, in Russell's case), man of action type, like in Take Me Home with Beau Arlen. 😝 I came at it with the thought of, "what if she was Dory's best friend, and they worked together at the university?" I must have a thing for writing nerds who get the rugged, sexy Mountain Man. Not at all fulfilling a personal fantasy.

UGH. The nerve!!!!! Massage therapist????? How about I step on your back with my high heels, bro... And then to go on about his trip and parasailing... Guess it's true. Ignorant people are happier 😂

Fuck YES, I'd be high-stepping up and down his spine fr. 🤣 Ignorance is bliss, I guess? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Or why are campuses so big in general? My university actually had several faculties strewn throughout the city. Sometimes it took an hour and several subway rides to get to your next lecture 😅

Oooh my God, now THAT's crazy! A whole subway ride(s)?? I've worked/gone to school on some big campuses, but that takes the cake. I guess you get your daily workout one way or another lol!

Please tell me Russell's in the room when she said that 😄🤞

Big YEP lmfaoo, and he likes her already because of it. 😂

Ooooh, right! I wonder how much she knows about the Shaws. Not something that comes casually up in the cafetaria I imagine 😅

No it would not, lmfao! But that is something that will be explored (how much she knows) in the chapters to come, for sure!

Love this whole exchange. You're making my dreams come true, babe 😘

Ahaha I had to do the little callback to sriracha fries (and figure out how tf to spell sriracha, first of all. 😂)

I keep thinking he probably has that look now because he was in the army for so long. Young Russell was pretty much young Dean Winchester in a uniform (hello there, soldier 😏)

Ooh that's SUCH a good point (and yumm). It's making me hope that we get a flashback of Russell in his military days someday in Tracker.

Well... It's a toss-up, I'd say 😆

Oh, very much a toss up/personal preference there lmao. I've loved Justin Hartley since his Smallville days as Green Arrow. 😆 But in this case, I felt like Russell would try to claim top billing there loll.

In. His. Car 🚩🚩🚩😂 If any strange man said that to you... 🚩🤣

Honestly, it's amazing how many red flags you ignore when someone's charming and handsome. 🤣🤣🤣

Well, at least, Colter has an Airstream 😅🤷‍♀️

Ha!! True, it's beating out Russell's crusty motel of the week by far, I'd say.

He is a professional flirt. Kind eyes...

Oh don't worry, we're getting to that callback. 😏

Dear God, he does not stop, does he? 😆 (On the show, I loved his persistence with Reenie too, even though it was mainly just to annoy Colter. But you captured him beautifully here with this sort of charm 🥰) PS: schmutz, schlep... I love the sprinkles of Yiddish in this 🤓

In fact, he does not! lmfao That was what I loved about it too -- like maybe half of him is serious, and the other half just wants to needle Colter. 🤣

Aw I'm glad you caught that! lol I'm not Jewish, but for some reason it just felt right for these characters. 💜

STOP IT! And he upgraded too!!! 🤣

He absolutely did!! And this time, it actually worked! 🤣🤣

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Gah, this was fabulous! I'm hooked! 😍👏 Are they gonna stay casual? Something about her brooding and reluctance tells me it's not usually her style? Which means, will he eventually settle? Get out of the dangerous hitman-nomad life?

Ooh my goodness, I'm so glad to hear that, friend! You're right. I don't think I full on state it, but "casual" is typically not her style. Also, Russell is Dory's brother, so she doesn't want there to be any weirdness or awkwardness between them if something happened or fell out between the reader and Russell.

She already knows his relationship with Dory is kind of fragile, in that they're still in that "reconnecting" phase. You'll see more of that dynamic and her thoughts in Part 2, but the rest of your questions will most definitely be explored throughout this little series. 😏

And then there's the stories about their respective families. We already know some about Russell's. How is she gonna react if she learns everything? And there's something odd about her private life as well. Can't wait to dive into that bombshell 😂

There's a lot to unpack there, right? There's a great deal that she already knows through Dory, and some things that are going to be revealed along the way...

Zep, my sweet genius Alex, you've outdone yourself once again. Bravo!!! 👏👏👏

You make me blush!! Thank you so much. 😭🥰 If you like this chapter, then I think you're going to enjoy the rest of the series. I hope it's as fun for you to read as it was for me to write!! 💕💕

A Line and a Half

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

AN: Okay, here’s my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a “Part 1,” if you will. 😉

Word Count: 3.2K

Tags/Warnings: A kind of “meet cute,” attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to come…

You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.

Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, he’d been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk. 

“If you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said. “Get ‘em back to me by Thursday, okay?”

As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.

Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.

“Uh, Paul,” you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor. 

Damn it. Knew I should’ve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.

“Paul! Just a second,” you said. That finally managed to turn the man’s head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.

“About the internship applications…and your midterm exam essays for that matter. Don’t you think—” you started to say, but the man spoke over you.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,” he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. “Something’s just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I don’t know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.”

You quirked a brow. “Do they?”

You weren’t sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.

Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.

“Need those by Thursday. Thanks, you’re the best,” he said.

You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.

Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.

Screw it. I’m going to lunch, you thought.

Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant she’d be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the door…but at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.

Friggin’ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.

You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.

Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?

It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Dory’s office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldn’t be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.

It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, you’d of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.

She’d been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)

That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, she’d become your best friend.

And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.

“Hey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldstein’s up my ass again and all I’ve had today is a crusty donut from the teacher’s lounge, which I’m pretty sure was stale,” you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.

When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasn’t alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.

He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacket—a good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Dory’s tastes, but you couldn’t fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.

“Hey,” Dory laughed. “I see you’re having a good day.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve knocked first,” you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.

Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companion’s shoulder, and he got up along with her.

“It’s okay. This is my brother, Russell,” she said, and she introduced you in kind.

“Well, hi there,” he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.

You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you some…interesting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.

“Hi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,” you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.

“Got yourself a load there,” he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.

“My boss’s idea of extra credit,” you said wryly.

“You can set it down on that chair over there,” Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.

You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.

“Thanks,” you said.

“No problem,” he said, giving you an easy smile back. “I actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.”

“Uh, no. I haven’t seen you in months! You should come with us,” Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.

You raised your hands in placation. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys should catch up.”

Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.

“Uh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paul’s bullshit, and why you’re carrying half your office across campus. Let’s go,” she said, and gestured at your work bag. “Leave that here. You’re gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.”

You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.

The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.

“Sriracha on fries, huh?” you remarked, gesturing at the man’s plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.

“I said avert your eyes,” he teased. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.”

Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasn’t holding his cheesesteak).

“Uh oh. What’d I do?” he asked.

“You gave her some PTSD,” Dory said with a laugh. “Dr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.”

Russell noted your souring look with apology. You’d just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of “sugar-coated demands” for Russell.

“Why don’t you just tell him to cram it up his…uh…” he paused. Seeing his little sister’s look of amusement, he amended. “Or you know, stuff it.”

A smile twitched at your lips. “Oh, believe me, I’d love to tell him to stuff it. But he’s technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though I’ve basically been doing his job for two years now.”

“Well, that sucks,” Russell said. “And I feel for ya. I’ve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.”

You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.

It wasn’t fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.

When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.

Anyway, you shook your head. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.

“So let me guess. You’re…the eldest?” you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.

Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.

“Guilty. Though I’m the handsome one,” he said with a wink.

You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.

“I’m sure,” you replied.

Dory rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. Apparently my brother’s an incorrigible flirt.”

He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.

“Ech. Friggin’ weak,” he said. “I brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.”

 You raised a brow at that. “You make your own beer?”

“Damn straight,” he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. “Next time I’ll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.”

You shared a telling look with Dory.

“Next time, huh?” you asked.

“Sure,” he inclined his head. “I pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.” 

He laid a hand on Dory’s shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.

She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.

“You don’t pester me. I’d love it if I got to see you more often,” she said.

“Ah, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “My job’s got me all over the place. But I’ll be here for a week or so on this gig.”

That intrigued you. “What do you do for work?”

“Ah, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,” said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. “My company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.”

“Oh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?” you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.

“I kinda bounce around,” he said. “Just go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but it’s a living.”

“Interesting,” you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.

Unstable…and lonely. 

“You know, it’s amazing how much you and Colter have in common,” Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.

He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?

Dory had told you before that Colter was a “rewardist,” or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.

For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.

After a moment, Russell shook his head.

“Look, I tried with him, all right? He won’t talk to me,” he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.

“Come on. Live on the edge with me,” he teased.

You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasn’t so bad. 

“Eh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?” he said, his hands going wide.

You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.

“It’s all right,” you replied.

“Yes!” Russell’s hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."

You couldn’t help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.

“Here, wipe your sriracha face.”

“You really don’t have to,” you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.

“No, no. I’m a bonafide gentleman. Ain’t that right, D?” he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.

“Oh, his intentions are pure,” she said.

 And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldn’t be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.

This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.

You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sister’s life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.

As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had just…clicked. From the very beginning.

“Dory, you know. She’s more than kind,” you said. “She’s a real one. I can rely on her, even when I can’t rely on my own family.”

Russell hummed at that. “That sounds like a story.”

“Yeah,” you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. “Maybe one for another time.”

“So you’re on board with a ‘next time.’ Good to know,” Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.

It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. You’d probably be stuck here working late on those.

“Well, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to schlep for me,” you said.

When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.

“It’s no problem,” he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous.

“Anybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?” he asked.

It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.

 “Well, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one,” you said, shading your “soulful” eyes with a hand.

You didn’t know it, but Russell’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.

If he hadn’t known before, now he was convinced.

He wanted to see more of you before he left town.

“Hey, now that was 100% genuine,” Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.

“Okay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?” he asked.

You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.

However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didn’t exactly scream relationship material.

Which only left the alternative: something…casual.

You just didn’t know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friend’s brother.

“Just a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,” Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. “Just this. You and me.”

Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.

“Sometime, huh?” you asked.

He smiled back. “Tonight?”

You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still weren’t sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.

“Sure,” you said. “Howley’s at eight?”

“Well, all right,” Russell said.

He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.

He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.

Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.

But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.   

“See you tonight,” he said.

AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. 😆

Let me know if you guys liked this! 💜 It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.

Next Time in Part 1:

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

▶️ Keep Reading: Part 1

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

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Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 23

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22

1.4k words

(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)

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You could tell just how much Zen was holding himself back. He helped you undress and carefully set your new clothes aside, knowing that there would be hell to pay from Bira and Hoonti if he damaged them. His hands were shaking where they rested on your waist and he was breathing hard while he paused to look you over and just take in every detail.

Without saying anything he lifted you up with ease and sat on the edge of the low dresser. As he stood between your spread legs he pulled your hips against his and you could feel every twitch and throb of his erection against you.

You could not resist running your hands up under his shirt, just touching him anyway you could. He took that as a hint and quickly pulled his shirt up and over his head and tossed it aside. Softly you kissed along his chest and stomach, paying careful attention to the deeper scars scattered across his skin and enjoying the soft sighs between his moans.

He continued to grind against you. At this height with you on the dresser his erection was rubbing right against your clit and you felt the ache between your legs.

This was much more forward than he had been before and you were pretty sure that you liked it. For all of his reputation and status Zen was never a dominate or aggressive person, not the sort you would have expected for a war hero or avatar of a god. Instead he was gentle in everything he did, fussing over you before ever even beginning to think about himself, careful to always respect your boundaries and never make you uncomfortable if he could help it. He was not the man you expected to marry in any sense, but that did not matter. You really could not imagine getting luckier in an arranged marriage.

Your thoughts were quickly banished when Zen took a step back, this time causing you to whine from the sudden lack of friction between your legs. You watched him closely as he undid his pants, letting your eyes drift downward. You figured he was probably proportionate for someone of his height, but even so that was a lot more than you were used to. His tip was more tapered than a humans and had less of a pronounced head, though you knew even midway up that he was thick enough where you could not get you hand fully around him and the thought made the ache between your legs worse.

He did not immediately step back up to be against you, but instead leaned down to press his forehead to yours, “May I have all of you?”

The wording of his question felt right. Over the last week and a half or so you had given him parts of you, both physically and emotionally but still held quite a bit back.

Zen on the other hand was quick to give you all of himself, happily encouraging you to touch and explore him at your own pace. He had also made it clear in his confessions the other day that more than anything he wanted to be loved. The way he looked so worried when telling you, the ache in his voice when he asked if maybe one day you could love him, he was happy to give you his heart.

He had periodically reassured you that he would never ask for more than you were willing to give, and he was asking for a lot right now, but he was right; it was not more than you were willing to give.

You nuzzled your forehead against his, “Yes.”

The words had barely left your mouth before he scooped you up in his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist without hesitation, and another needy, inelegant kiss shared between the two of you. You felt him gently lay you down on the bed, keeping as much contact with you as possible the whole time while trying to not crush you under his size.

He was massive compared to you and inadvertently pinning you under him. With his forehead still pressed against yours his tusks were on either side of your face, keeping you from from being able to turn your head or look away from him even if you wanted to.

You did not feel trapped though, instead it made you feel shielded and protected. Zen was always gentle and reassuring in everything he did, where his size and strength was intimidating initially now it was comforting.

“And you really want me? Truly?” he asked, almost sounding worried.

You reached up and tangled your hands into his hair to pull him closer and kiss his forehead before nuzzling against him, “All of you.”

There was an audible sigh as he must have been holding his breath while waiting on your answer. Any tension he had seemed to dissipate and he leaned a bit more of his weight onto you, just melting against you and purring louder than he ever had before.

He carefully began to reposition himself and used his knee to nudge your thighs farther apart. The two of you giggled as he tried to line himself up with you and kept missing and instead jabbing your thighs, it felt like being young and awkward and inexperienced all over again.

You reached down and wrapped your fingers around his cock and felt him immediately buck into your hand while you tried to guide him in. His eagerness was charming in a way, excited but not pushy, and unable to hide it.

Finally you managed to help him find your entrance and felt the goosebumps prickle your skin as he slowly pushed in. You were thankful that he was more tapered at the tip and going slowly, though it did not outweigh the fact that he was still much larger than a human.

The sounds he was making were incredible though. Little whimpers interrupted by purring, deep shuddering breaths through an open mouth, and soft moans, you had never had a partner quite so vocal.

Slowly he continued to press into you, nuzzling you almost frantically as he did, but the gentle stretch was giving way to a bit of a sting even though he was barely a couple inches in. You winced, though he did not seem to notice. You took a few deep breaths trying to steady yourself, but it was not really helping as a ‘bit of a sting’ was quickly becoming just ‘hurting’.

Zen said something softly. Something you did not catch. Something that most definitely was not in common. But that hardly mattered now.

You let out a yelp when he gave a bit of an excited thrust that made him stop in his tracks. Quickly he pulled his face away from yours and was looking over you in a panic.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he blurted out.

“You’re umm…a bit much to handle” you awkwardly began, “I mean, you tower over humans.”

He looked back at you, taking a few moments to process what you meant before speaking, “Oh.”

Carefully he clamored off of you to lay at your side but did not try to pull you against himself or anything.

“I am sorry” he said.

“It’s ok, it was just an accident. We both just got a bit too excited”. You rolled onto your side to face him and give him a smile to try to reassure him.

“I was worried about this.”

“Worried? About what?”

“Hurting you.”

“I promise you it’s fine, it was an accident. And why were you worried about it?”

“Because you are so much smaller than a troll, and that has made me worry that maybe it would not be possible…” he trailed off.

“And would it matter if it wasn’t possible?”

“Of course not” he finally reached out to you to pull you closer to himself, “Whatever is possible is more than enough.”

“Then we go slow, and maybe warm up next time” you pressed a few soft kisses against his chest and could feel how his heart still was racing. You loved how the scent of incense always lingered on his skin.

--------

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[pricegouge]

Eirēnē

price x reader one shot

cw: femme, soldier reader. implied fit body type. pegging. slight spit kink. mild angst but a happy ending. MDNI

"Oh, big stretch." It's playfully patronizing; an affected air to hide the undercurrent of genuine pride. John's always liked watching you push your limits, but raw affection has no place here in his bed - always kept carefully at bay, dropped with his tac gear by the door, or maybe even further back, in the field, when he ducked his helmet against yours with a quiet 'well done, love,' barely audible over the din of exfil, ripped away in the impending whorl of hele blades. 

He praises you here as well, but never as an equal. You're a plaything when he's got you pinned under him. He toys with you the way you imagine he's toyed with cute little things all his life. John doesn't strike you as a bully by any means, but you've seen first hand how he can turn a compliment into a debasement by simply dropping his pitch a few octaves. It leaves you unmoored, dragged in and out of your arousal by self-conscious turns which he soothes with sweet kisses and gentle touches.

They sting worse than the words.

He's got his thumb against the seam of you now, pushing at the tender skin where it is indeed stretched wide around his cock. He's overconfident when he mouths off about how good it must feel, but his eyes betray him as they always do: reverent, tender, yes. And envious.

It took you months to see it. As a rule, by the time he got like this, you were already too fucked out to notice. You fear you never would have, had this slippery slope you'd both found yourselves on not started declining further by the day. You might slip more often, but he's bigger. Falls harder.

It's the vulnerability that tips you off. 

'You're only ever satisfied when you're taking my cock, aren't you darlin'?' it began, a mocking smirk pressed against your lips as you pouted about being given nothing but his fingers. 'That feel good, love?' he'd ask, palm grinding into your sex as he fucked you shallowly, watching himself disappear within your body. Then 'tell me how good I make you feel,' turned into, 'tell me how good it feels,' while 'need me to fix it?' became, 'fuck, sweetheart, please.'

Now you watch him back, entranced by the way he cannot look away from where your bodies meet. It's early yet. He has all his faculties. Still, his gaze is anchored to the stretch of your cunt. "You could cum like this, couldn't you?" he asks, thumb tracing up to your clit. "So full I don't even have to work for it. Just stuff you up and press this button, eh?"

You nod but he's not looking. His thumb pushes against you cruelly as punishment for your perceived silence. "Yes," you hiss and he hums, eyes bright with mischief.

"Show me, then," he says casually, rocking himself that final centimeter deeper as he starts playing with your clit exactly the way you like it. You bear it in stillness and silence for as long as you can, but the quiet sigh he eventually earns himself is like a floodgate. Once your mouth is open, jaw relaxed, your soft noises continue, and then your hips are canting just enough to work against his rhythm. You don't last long enough to test your theory that night, not when John stays as buried deep as he can get, rocking shallowly into you just so he can feel the head of his cock drag under his palm where he keeps it pressed into the soft flesh of your belly. It's vulnerable, makes you feel field dressed, gralloched. 

His own tummy jumps when you palm him there in turn, his cock twitching within you as he groans like he's been gutshot, falls limp over you just the same.

You find out days later that you can make him a desperate, gasping mess by just leaving teeth marks there, working him in your fist while you hide your bite among the soft hair of his underbelly, the most defenseless part of him - too low for his vest to cover; mobility at the cost of exposure. But he trusts you here, holds you close after the first few flutters of his panic settle. His cum stripes your chin when your free hand palms his heavy sac, one finger settling lower, along the seam of him. 

John does not ask you. You wonder sometimes if it would be a bridge too far, playing into the role more than he is comfortable with. Then, John being comfortable with any of this is a stretch, as evident in the tension of his brow when you finally get him on his back, the sweat pooling in the hollow of his throat when you work your second finger in alongside the first. You think it's more than he can take, but he outright whimpers when you go to pull back and you can't help but laugh when he wraps a strong leg around your waist to hold you close, his voice like gravel in a cement mixer when he chokes out a quiet, 'don't you dare.'

Don't laugh, don't stop - you're unsure so do neither as you settle yourself deeper within him, fingers probing, just exploring. Taking your time.

The toy he'd bought you - ostensibly - is bigger than he is. Will sit deep within him, proportionate to how he fits inside you. You're not worried it will please him, but it's hard not to be at least a little jealous of his big hands when your fingers can't reach deep enough to do anything but press fluttery pulses against his prostate, only make him tense and sweat when you want to make him cry and beg. It's an instinct that grows with each passing minute, John's impatience - and ability to articulate it - damn near hurting your pride.

He wants to be made vulnerable, has entrusted you alone with the task, though you can do little more than tease him on your own.

But you've always been resourceful. Learned from the best.

When you do pull away, John's hole tightens around your fingers so hard you imagine you would be unable to escape if not for the copious amounts of lube you'd used while working him open. He doesn't pout the way you would have, his frustration instead leaving him with a strangely bull-like huff. You shush him anyway, soothing the emptiness with two thumbs quickly hooking into his rim, testing his stretch with a quiet, disapproving hum.

"I don't know, cap. Don't think you're ready for this cock."

John's neck flexes when he tilts his head back, the thick cords on full display when he swallows heavily, jumping past the strain in his throat. "Oh, fuck you."

"Not tonight," you counter absently, sinking your thumbs to the knuckle just to watch his hole try to wink around them. When you remove them completely, you drag slick trails of lube through the coarse hair there. "It's these little fingers of mine," you pout, wiggling them at him illustratively. "Not gonna cut it, I fear. Be a doll and open yourself up for me, hm?"

He looks like he has something to say to that, but it gets caught behind his teeth and to your surprise he only rolls, gets his knees up under his hips so he can kneel before you, brace most of his weight on his left hand which he plants firmly on the bed. You don't comment on the practiced ease with which he reaches back and coats his fingers in the sticky lube which drips from his hole, nor the way his breath catches when his fingers do. Whatever this is, this practiced confidence, this was never intended for you and you're loathe to have taken it from him.

You're more loathe he's kept it from you at all, but you stay just as silent as him.

John works efficiently, doesn't even take enough time to let the pleasure build. You think about guiding his hands but falter, too scared to take too much control. Instead you keep his cheeks spread for him, warm extra slick between your fingers before letting it slip from your grip, watch as it slips into his greedy hole. You want to tell him how good he looks, but you don't want to embarrass him, either, and your words die in your throat, dry and brittle, because John is not usually so quiet as this during sex and if he needs the silence, you will not be the one to break it.

He doesn't speak when he's decided he's stretched enough, either. Simply lays down on his belly with his legs stretched out between your own. You hum appreciatively, chance to ask if he's ready for you with a quick, assessing swipe of your finger across his loosened rim. With the muscle lax and unfurled, your digit catches and tugs, draws a low, startled grunt from him before he clears his throat and nods, voice thick when he says he is.

You remember the way his stomach tensed under your palm, the way he cradles the back of your head when you get his balls in your mouth, pressing the ring of your teeth closer. John does not ask for this, at least not verbally, but you know what he wants. John's never led you astray before, and he doesn't now, so long as you know what to look for. He does not want to be responsible for this, to tell you when he's ready. The added tension of it, your expectation that he make a decision at the one time he wasn't expecting to, it collects tangibly in the iron of his spine, the clench of your jaw. In the silence of the room, you hear the spiderweb break of the fragile gift he's given you and you still, coltish legs on too-thin ice. Misguided. Not a concept you've had to worry about since coming under John's captaincy. You've grown lax

"Tell me how good it feels."

And maybe it's okay that you've let him crumble, just a bit, because he shatters beautifully when he knows you'll keep him together.

John's voice is still tight when the head of your cock catches on his rim, the words pulled from him like tangled fishing line, each confession pulling clotted debris from the silt of his vitals. It's good, a stretch, he's full.

You can't help the cruel laugh that builds at that last, flex your hips down into his to sink incrementally deeper. "Not yet, you're not."

The quiet snarl is the only warning you get, John's palm reaching back to wrap around your hip with the same quick reflexes that have kept him whole so long. He rips back whatever control he's ceded with just as much ease as he pulls you into him, a rough grunt the only indication he gives of any potential discomfort from the sudden intrusion. Still, you lean against him heavily so he can't move you manually again, create a rhythm for himself that you haven't authorized. You don't let the doubt overcome you, know this is no less than the last desperate gasps of any bound animal. 

You settle him just the same, warm hands on his flank and soft reassurances, your low murmur spilled across his shoulder because he's far too tall for you to lean over properly. "Easy, baby. Give yourself a minute to adjust."

A dog that's slipped his muzzle, John still shows his teeth. "I can take it."

"Don't care what you can do," you counter, bearing more weight down on his back as you slip your free hand under his thick chest - a poor approximation of the way he effortlessly comforts you in this position, the tenderness he doesn't even mean to give. "Just care about what you want to do."

Though he remains unsettled, John's voice is less clipped now despite his words. "I want you to move."

Impertinence sits on your tongue - begging for it already? - but you know better than to test his patience when he's already got himself so wound up over nothing. He's a man unused to this position, figuratively and literally, and you take pity on the perceived bruising of his ego, even if it is self-inflicted. "I'll take care of you," you promise instead, and have to bite back the swell of pride in your chest when the tension of his back slackens incrementally.

"Know you will, love."

The first slow pump of your hips is shallow, experimental, your body acquainting itself with this new movement. John offers no encouragement, but you take his lack of objection for it anyway and gain confidence with each thrust, your strokes growing longer as you learn how to properly brace your weight. 

The harness you've chosen rests low on your hips, the base of your cock digging into your mons each time you bottom out within him. It's a low simmer of pleasure, not distracting enough to keep you from your main aim, but enough to get your hips snapping slightly into him, a rhythm you double down on when John's breath stilts and he shifts subtly, bracing himself to ensure your movements are well met. It's unnecessary - his bulk far too much for you to move with so little engagement - but appreciated all the more because of it.

"Feel good, John? You like having me so deep inside you?"

When he looks over his shoulder, you can see the pinpricks of sweat collecting on his temple. "Let you know when you fuck me proper."

You laugh catches in your throat, more a startled breath than true amusement. "Cheeky," you grumble, then shift up onto your knees and brace your feet over the backs of his calves, using your too-wide stance to your advantage when it means you can't hold your weight on your own. You sink further into the clutch of him, the base of your toy flush tight to his rim, and John swallows thickly, throat flexing. 

The angle is difficult to work but worth it, the way John's head hangs limp between his shoulders the only encouragement you need to plant your hands on the back of his tight waist and feel the way his abdomen flexes each time you let your weight drop back into him. You keep a steady pace even when he tries arching back up under you, inviting you deeper without speaking.

He didn't ask, but you knew.

You don't give him what he wants until he's biting back moans, his voice so low and shot you'd mistake them for the traffic outside if not for how acutely attuned you are to him, your pace quickening just to chase the harefooted pulse in his neck higher. 

When he bites your name out through clenched teeth, his breath condensing in the hairs of his forearm, you tell him to beg. 

"Shit… fuck." You see the muscles of his back bunch when he plants his hands under his shoulders, the tension in his spine when he debates bucking you off of him. And then you plant your feet under yourself, sacrifice depth for power on your next thrust and he whimpers, dropping back to the mattress with a reedy whine. 

You give him a few more, exact copies - the movement already imprinted on your mind like a ballroom basic (Quick learner. Lethal. Brutal. You'd read his reports on you) - and peter off you hear him choke off the next thin groan. 

"If you're not gonna beg for me, at least let me hear those pretty sounds." To prove your point, you grind in hard against him, hips angled to hit that spot that had earned you a whine to begin with. You chuckle when it works again, voice dripping with a cruelty you didn't know you were capable of when it came to your captain. "I've earned 'em, haven't I?"

Another noise bubbles in his throat, pops with a breathy huff. You slip away from him, snap back, and revel in the clench of his thick fist against the sheets. "Fuuuuck. Yeah, love. Just like that. Alright. You've earned it."

He's a veritable font after that, tongue loose and spilling every thought. You feel carbonated, fizzy and staticky, listening to each noise and bitten off praise tumble past his lips. You want to kiss him, get frustrated when you can't reach him. The hand around the column of his throat to arch him backwards surprises both of you, kiss forgotten as you pant against his lips, your glutes burning as you try to maintain your pace. Silent now, John's throat can do little more than flex weakly under your palm as his jaw works, swallowing the spit you want to drink from him. You can't help a whine of your own when the harness grinds too low, too hard, and you bunt your forehead against his cheek, spine sagging just slightly.

"'S'it good, love?"

He doesn't even sound like your captain anymore, voice too quiet, vulnerable. Sinking for a moment into that soft space with him. But when you open your eyes and see his own looking back at you, expectant and eager, you steel yourself again, lips feather light against his ear.

"So good, baby. Taking me so fucking well. Look pretty like this, John," you admit, rambling on over the whine it incites. "Should get you under me more often, hm? Let you take this cock the way I know you want?" He slinks back to the bed when you let him, your palm petting heavily along his spine as he slips away from you. He doesn't try to muffle his noises in the pillow this time, breaths heavy and high as you build your rhythm back up, ignoring the way the harness slips against your sweaty skin. 

With your hands braced against his waist again, it's easy to watch the stretch of his hole where he accepts you so greedily. Even now it glistens in the low light, hair matted with the generous amount of lube you'd plied him with. Your cock is skin-toned, natural, glistening as if with slick when you work it free of him. You make it as loud as you can manage when you spit on him, delighting in the way his hole winks around the tapered head of your cock when he flinches in embarrassment, making it worse by taking the base in hand and slapping the head against the wet of it until he can't take it anymore, reaching back to try and grab your hip again. 

You're ready for him this time, slap his hand away easily, an odd contrast to the way you coo filth at him, call him greedy and just to watch his hole clench down again, a futile attempt to keep you out. When you spit on him this time, a half-hearted bid to ensure he could still take you despite his tension, he groans unabashedly and flops back down, boneless.

"Whore," you chide, and slip back to the base in one steady move, filing the way your gamble makes him keen for later.

Despite his submission, rigidity coils low in John's spine as you work yourself deeper, the muscles under your hand pulling taut as he accepts you. It pools in your own as well, a baseline pleasure you've done all you can to ignore. Your thumbs trace his ilium, feel the tightness of his fascia. One palm pulls the meat of his cheek away to bare his hole to you and then that same thumb slips lower, past the seam of him, and presses softly against his rim. 

You accuse him of being greedy and bite back a smile as John accepts this new intrusion with a slack-jawed moan, drool pooling on the pillow beneath him. You tell him he's being so good for you when your first knuckle slips past his slack hole, but you don't think it even registers, given the fucked out look on his face, the tight pinch of pleasure between his brows. You keep praising him anyway as you begin to fuck him again, your words a low undertone to the high pitched grunts he emits each time you slam home. With your hook him, John can't help but work his hips against yours, aborted little thrusts which you allow because there's not much you can do to stop him, not when he's so far past listening and you're no match for the powerful contraction of his thick thighs. It's a struggle to stay atop him but you manage, pushing him back down as much as you're able with your palms planted on his flexing glutes. To his credit, he regains some sentience when his cock receives sufficient stimulation, tucking his arms up under his chest to better work down against the mattress, slurring vague encouragement through spit-slick lips.

"C'mon, sweetheart, give it to me, please - fuck."

"Need more?" you ask, unsure how you could even give him what he needs when you're on the verge of collapse, untested musculature flagging by the minute.

"Just like that. Shit -!"

He cuts off with a cry when your second thumb slips lower, prods threateningly at the tight ring of muscle you've already worked too loose. "Big stretch," you warn, but make it no further than your nailbed before he's cumming with bitten off shout, hips stuttering as if he can't decide if he wants to fuck down into the mattress or back onto you more. You take the choice from him, bearing down with enough force to work your mound against the base of the harness, taking the edge off your own pleasure with deep grinds that have John babbling beneath you.

In the silence that follows, you slip free of him gently, massaging his glutes as you lay your toy between them, just listening to his breathing even out. For a moment you think it won't, and you slink down to lay across his back again, chest pressed to the lax muscles there to give him the same kind of grounding weight you love so much from him. John just reaches back to sink lazy fingers along your scalp, though, a satisfied hum leaving him when you tip off him sideways to spoon up next to him. Between you, your cock bobs ungainly, an unwelcome intrusion that keeps you from clinging to him. He laughs when you huff in frustration, watches you with one eye open as you fiddle with the clasps until you're free. He's good enough to roll onto his side when you lay back down, welcoming you into his chest with a warmth you're not used to seeing post-coitus, and despite the easiness of his hold on you, it puts you on your back foot, sends you spiraling back into reality - to your place behind him in the field, never his equal. 

He mistakes your stiffness for dissatisfaction at first, his palm sliding down your front unprompted despite his obvious exhaustion, his whole body wrung out and relaxed. It fills you with pride that you were able to do that for him, but it's a sour sort of pride, a noxious gas which bubbles within you, has you pushing his hand away before he's even grazed the thatch of hair above your sex. John grumbles, peeks down past his nose to look you over. His free hand finds the nape of your neck when you avoid him, tilts your face for his inspection.

When he asks if you're broken, your throat constricts, the words like a mallet knocking your panic loose. Your voice falters, stuttering past a protest which you can't quite form. John frowns down at you and that insufferable feeling of disappointment, of having let him down yawns beneath your feet, your axis tilting you over the edge -.

"What's wrong, love?"

It's too quiet to be the voice he uses in the field, too soft to be that patronizing tone he adopts when he's got you underneath him. Closer to the quiet murmur he imparts on you when he drags you close before exfil, those secret words meant just for you, his softest soldier who needs the gentle touch. You shake your head, not trusting your voice, but he's not having it, dragging you closer so you've no choice but to hitch your leg up over his thigh, expose yourself to him fully.

"Can't fix it if you don't tell me," he reminds you, and even that aches - the knowledge he'd trusted you with all this, and he still has to keep you together. 

"It's nothing," you assert, desperate to let him enjoy his come down. "I'm just being silly."

John just squints at you, testing. When he moves your hips down against his own, he tracks the slight flinch in your expression with open interest. "Doesn't seem so silly, lovie."

You still his hands, ask him to stop with regret tinging your voice. "I'm sorry, it's just -. I just -."

"You what, sweetheart?"

"Oh, don't call me that," you blubber, floodgates opening despite your best effort. 

To his credit, John seems to take it in stride, pulling you into his chest and tucking you under his chin. His hands are heavy and warm on your back where they soothe along your spine. "Okay, no sweetheart. How 'bout lovie? Or honey? Or -?"

"John," you whine, pushing yourself away from him with a firm hand on his chest. "I can't take it anymore! You're so… so…"

"So what?"

"So sweet! And it hurts too much, knowing I can't keep it, and -."

"Can't keep it?" he mutters, but you're too wound up to listen, rattling on about not know what this is, spilling your heart out about how you keep blurring the lines. 

John silences you with a kiss, far too slow and sweet to have been listening to a single one of your concerns. When he pulls away he doesn't let you go far, keeping you in the tight ring of his embrace so he can pepper bittersweet kisses across your cheeks. "You were being silly, weren't you, love?" he starts, and chuckles meanly when you swat at him, trying to squirm away. "Easy. Listen to me, sweetheart, okay? It's important." He waits patiently for you to settle, heat boiling under your collar as you meet his eyes. "Do you think I'd have let you do all that if this were just casual? Hm?"

Clarity swells in you like ocean tide, briny and bitter where it creeps up your throat. You open your mouth to answer but close it just as fast, afraid of what might come spilling out. 

"Just casual," John scoffs, pulling you closer and saving you from further embarrassment when he tucks you back under his chin. "If I find out you've been casual with any of the other lads I'm going to be quite cross."

You want to tell him it would be his own fault, or lie just to teach him a lesson. Mostly, you want to be offended. Instead you just shake your head adamantly, lips dragging across the coarse hair of his chest. 

"Good girl," he rumbles, and must feel the clench of your cunt against his hip because his hand drags down to your rear, pulls you impossibly closer. "Now, let's drive those nasty thoughts out of your head, shall we?"

[sturnsrecord]

OVER THE PHONE

— [ex!matt x reader. angst] matt bites the bullet and decides to call you on a lonely night, desperate to just hear your voice.

the thought of you often appeared in matt's head. and when it didn't, he'd consciously think about you, all the things he remembered loving about you.

it could be as simple as your smile, or even the way you rolled your eyes at him. 

he contemplated your entire relationship. going over how it ended, as well as every mistake he ever made.

he hadn't been like this with any other girl he'd seen or dated. he'd usually shut all the memories out and move on. convincing himself that it was for the better, which apparently it was. 

but you – you plagued his mind, with both wanted and unwanted thoughts. 

he tries to keep some dignity, acting like he's fine and that he doesn't miss you. but despite the persona he plays in front of his friends and family, he knows the truth. he knows how much he misses you. 

he's considered calling you a few times, mostly on nights where he feels lonely and nostalgic, his memory of your voice not being quite enough to fuel his dopamine. 

so he drops his pride, scrolling through his contacts to find your name. his finger hovers over the call button, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip nervously.

maybe he should just send a text, he thinks to himself. but he knows he doesn’t want that – he wants to hear your voice, and your tone. 

he decides to go for it, starting the call as he brings the phone up to his ear. his heart pounds in his chest, there's a good chance you won't even pick up, or that you'll hang up as soon as he starts speaking. 

but his heart stops as soon as he hears your voice.

“matt?” you question, confused. his mind goes blank, short circuiting. he hadn't really thought about what he was gonna say, now just sat there, his mouth run dry as he listens to you.

“matt?” you say again, now slightly worried. “hello?” you chime, wondering what the fuck was up.

he finally speaks up, his voice coming out in croak. “uh, he- hey.” he mumbles, his palms sweaty. he swallows, trying to calm his nerves.

“hi?” you say, still not understanding what was going on. you sigh when he doesn't respond, considering hanging up on this non-eventful phone call. 

he notices the way you sigh, his heart picking up again. “don’t - just don't hang up.” he panics slightly, taking a deep breath.

“ok.” you mumble, giving him the benefit of the doubt. “i just wanna talk - just about anything.” he mumbles weakly, trying not to sound pathetic. “tell me ‘bout your day.” he says quietly, a meek suggestion.

you sigh again, reluctant to do this. but you'd be lying if you said a part of you didn’t wanna talk to matt. you thought about him sometimes too.

“tell you about my day?” you question, frowning a little at the suggestion.

“yeah.” he breathes out, trying to relax his body a little. “anythin’, just wanna hear your voice.” he admits. you sigh, rubbing your temple. what the fuck were you doing? 

“i've not been doing much - mostly just work.” you mumble out, abiding by his simple request. he lets out a small breath at your words, happy that you'd decided to continue the conversation. 

he smiles to himself, reminding himself that you were in college now, living a whole other life. “right, college. forgot ‘bout that.” he mumbles out, fiddling with the bottom of his top as he speaks. “how is it over there?” he asks, suddenly desperate to know everything about your new life.

“it's ok. hard work, but it's good.” you nod as you speak, trying to respond as casually as possible. “nice change in pace.” you add quietly.

he swallows, listening to your every word. he sat there imagining you in your new life, studying at college. you were always smart, and it made him happy that you were doing something good with your life, something you'd spoken about to him when you were together. 

“they’re not workin’ you too hard are they?” he jokes, keeping the conversation light and interesting for both your benefit.

“what, at college?” you joke back sarcastically. “nah, it's just what i signed up for.” you sigh, smiling to yourself without even thinking.

he nods, biting back a smile. “you happy though?” he asks sincerely, wanting to make sure you were good. 

you think for a second, nodding to yourself. “yeah, i am.” you respond quietly and honestly. “social lifes good, turns out not every girl here is a bitch.” you joke, getting more comfortable in the conversation. 

he raises his eyebrows, chuckling under his breath. “that’s surprising.” he chimes back, amused by your lack of filter that he knew so well. “s’no surprise though, you've never been bad at making friends.” he says kindly, knowing damn well how easy you were to talk to. how you'd effortlessly charm everyone with your addictive personality, in a way he admired and wished he could do.

his compliment makes your brain fizzle with happiness, but you push past it to keep the conversation lighthearted. “yeah, not socially awkward like you.” you retort back playfully, smiling ear to ear as you speak. 

he scoffs at your insult, although he found comfort and relaxation in the light teasing. finding it easy. “wow, rude.” he responds, shifting around his bed to get more comfy. “s’not my fault i like a smaller social circle.” he defends.

“yeah, you tell yourself that.” you snap back quickly, lightly chuckling as you speak. then there's a silence across the call, one where it would feel like a good time to hang up. but neither of you wanted to, that much was clear. 

“you doin’ okay?” you mumble through the phone, knowing that now was probably the only time you'd be talking like this. checking in on one another wasn't exactly a usual occurrence.

he swallows hard, his whole body feeling hot at the caring tone in your voice. “yeah - i mean, i've been better.” he mumbles awkwardly, trying to sugar coat his emotions. he was fine, just not great. but you weren't in his life like that anymore, you didn't need to know. 

your face drops a little at his words. right, so he wasn't doing okay. “m’sorry, ‘bout that.” you mumble quietly, unsure what to say. 

“it's fine” he huffs, fidgeting with the blanket under him, also unaware of what to say. the conversation veering in a slighter deeper direction, a direction he didn't particularly wanna go with you right now.

but his words escape his lips quickly and quietly, his emotions coming out over his logical thinking. “i miss you.”

his words send a thrilling shock through you. you let out a sigh, trying really hard not to say it back and make this whole stupid phone call an emotional breakdown over your past relationship. 

he swallows at your lack of response, knowing it was stupid of him to say. but talking to you on the phone like this was driving him insane, knowing he couldn't just do this whenever. it's like he was on a time limit to get everything off his chest before he went back to his life without you. 

the call is silent, but he knows you won't just hang up without saying anything. he feels his emotions bubbling over within him, the hurt consuming his mind with thoughts and questions, consuming his everything.

one question rattles in his brain, gnawing at him on a replay, so much that he didn't know if he was saying it outloud by accident or if his inner voice was just that loud. but considering the hole he's already dug himself into he stupidly lets it slip, needing to know the answer so deeply.

“are you seeing anyone?”

you shut your eyes firmly, hoping you hadn’t just heard that. “matt.” you whisper, practically pleading him to stop with just the tone of your voice. 

“i know, i know.” he mumbles, backtracking as he realises what he's just said. he knows he shouldn't have pried like that, but the need to know overtakes his pride. “i just.” he begins, sighing to himself. “i just need to know.” he croaks out, voice breaking. 

“matt.” you whisper again, in the same pleading tone that was telling him to stop asking questions he didn’t wanna know the answer to. “please don't.” you huff, practically warning him of the answer already. 

his stomach drops. fuck. you’d just answered his question, and fuck did it hurt. he was taking this a lot worse than he thought he would, jealousy surging into every nerve ending of his body. an emotion he didn't often show because of how ugly it was.

“just tell me.” he mutters, his voice coming out in a rasp of both desperation and pain. you bite down on your bottom lip nervously, honestly debating hanging up, but you owed him at least this. to be honest with him.

“yeah.” you say weakly, your heart rate picking up as you become nervous. “i have a boyfriend.” you mumble out. you know that's not what he wants to hear, but what were you meant to do.

“fuck.” he whispers under his breath, his body relaxing from its tension as the words finally leave your mouth. but what filled in was much worse, the pain and jealousy of knowing you'd moved on whilst he was still sat here thinking about you almost everyday. he felt pathetic in all honesty. 

“matt, m’sorry-” you begin, feeling bad. but he cuts you off quickly. “no, no- you don't need to.” he sighs, rubbing his temple. “you don't need to apologise, for that.” he speaks softly, trying his hardest to rationalise with that part of his brain. the logical part screaming at him to not get upset over this, to not let it completely ruin him. 

“m’happy for you.” he mumbles out, the words catching in his throat, like he's struggling to say them. maybe thats because deep down he didn’t really mean them, some fucked up, jealous part of him cruelly wishing you weren’t happy. but he couldn't act out on that. he was smart enough to understand this wasn't his place to comment, nor let his ugly emotions get the better of him. 

“thanks.” you mutter back, trying to keep the situation civil. you knew he was upset. you knew because if he had a new girlfriend you'd be freaking out, probably hating it more than you'd like to admit. and maybe that wasn't fair, but weren’t gonna dwell on the logistics of the situation.

he takes a deep breath, trying to keep up his calm demeanour, not wanting to pathetically slip up. but it's difficult trying to keep his mind at bay with thoughts of you happy with someone else. a part of him crumbled, knowing that something he had dreaded for a while now was true, and it had been for a while.

“i'm uh- i'm gonna go.” he mumbles, deciding that he couldn't talk to you anymore without practically breaking down. 

“right, okay.” you mumble, mentally smacking yourself for letting the conversation get to this. you scrape your brain for something else to say, something to fix the now low mood. but nothing comes to mind, regret taking over. 

“bye matt.” you whisper softly, the shock of the situation beginning to take over, your eyes brimming with tears as you think about the fact you've just hurt someone you care so much about. 

maybe it had been easier this whole time when you weren't talking to matt, able to keep him so incredibly separate from whatever life you were living now.

the only reason you'd been able to move on is because there was hardly anything else in your life that had any attachment to matt anymore. but getting a call from him, and hearing his voice, it really fucked you up.

“bye.” he whispers back before hastily hanging up, letting out a sigh as his eyes water. god was that a bad idea. he takes a few deep breaths, stopping himself from crying over this.

he felt pathetic and sad for himself. here you were moving on and he was just stuck, stuck on a part of both your lives that you had so easily left behind.

he hated himself for it, because he only had himself to blame.

©sturnsrecord

notes . this was inspired by @pearlzier c.ai chris bot lmao

tag list . @iizzyyy @sophsturns @strnilolover @sturniolossss @hearts4sturniolo @emely9274 @dominicfikeenthusiast

[miyuskye]

I would like to also add!!!

1. When Elias calls him his full name (❤️) when reprimanding him about the complaint

2. When Jon is worried about the Leitners (ep 17 my beloved) and says he's going to have a discussion with Elias about it. And then randomly adds: I know he’ll just give me the old “record and study, not interfere or contain” speech again, but I at least need to make him aware of it.

which implies that a. it's so very usual for them to have conversations (about the institute and the paranormal and the statements) b. there were multiple discussions and conversations since the argument is "old" and they have probably been over this many times with super stubborn Jon and infinitely patient Elias (without knowing the plot it's fun to imagine Elias listening to Jon ramble but knowing the plot????? Jonah being so proud of his Archivist being this proactive but still that needs to be contained) (ahhhh I bet he was just as excited as Jon because of his enthusiasm but couldn't show it) c. Jon is super comfortable around Elias enough to bring up specific work-related points (instead of just taking care of them personally like how I imagine Gertrude would have done) and holds him in high esteem to discuss stuff thoroughly

Sometimes I truly want to sit into the Elias and Jon's dynamics pre-archives/Season 1 because (nottobepettyaboutpeoplewhoassumesjonautomaticallydislikeseliasfor???) I feel like it informs SO MUCH of how they behave later on. They clearly already have some sort of relationship that's based on both respect, freedom and guidance and, I feel, conversations.

"He's not smoking again, is he?" implies that Elias is not only aware Jon used to be a smoker, but has been at least involved in a periphical manner to Jon /stopping/ smoking, and approving of it. (Which, yes, drives me insane. We need so much more jonelias fics where Elias takes,, an active role in helping Jon stop that particular habit)

The fact the very first words that Jon adresses to the tape recorders are for Elias; that he's already discussed with him the problematic statements at all!

Jon acknowledging that Elias is the most knowledgeable man when it comes to the paranormal, which! again! I see so little people talk about but is a clear expression of Jon recognizing and admiring Elias's skills in his particular domain! AND is possibly the reason why he keeps coming back to him later on (and other people). Elias just! knows his stuff. And possibly he used to share a bit more with Jon :').

I don't know, the mere fact that Elias is like "Jon, we got a complain about you" and Jon only snarks "Fine, I'll be more lovely" and it's the end of it is insane to me. I know Elias IS known to be a passive boss, but EVEN SO. The freedom that's given to Jon, all along! Wild and beautiful.

Them flirting over Jon's birthday cake. I can see the scene. Their eyeing each other like they're two seconds away from kissing and everybody else has a moment of "oh, god, please don't, why do you make things uncomfy"

I don't know what this post is actually about, just. Elias and Jon. Getting along. From day one. JON ACTUALLY LIKING AND ADMIRING HIM. Yknow.

[multific]

Gifts and Cake

Emperor Geta x Reader

Summary: Your marriage was arranged but your love for each other was not.

Marrying him was not in your favour.

He took a liking to you at one of your father's parties and now, you were his wife.

Emperor Geta truly showed his other side to you.

While people saw a raging crazy man, he was kind and sweet with you.

An unmerciful ruler, but a kind husband.

He always made sure you had everything you wanted. 

And as your birthday approached, he came to you during the day.

Bursting into the room you currently sat, reading and eating fruit.

"Tomorrow is your birthday, My Darling Wife, I wish to know what it is that your heart desires?" his question was so sudden you froze for a moment.

"I believe I have everything because I have you, My Husband. But I do know you and you mean gifts, I simply wish for cake, you know my love for sweets and if it's not too much a new pet." you ended up saying.

"A pet? What kind? A tiger or lion perhaps?"

"No, nothing like that, I simply wish for a healthy kitten." 

"A kitten. Why a cat if I may I ask?" you watched as his face filled with confusion.

"I adore them, and I wish for a small companion to be with me when you can't." His eyes lit up at your words and a smile spread on his lips.. 

"My Sweet Darling!" he kissed your hand before darting out of the room you smiled at his actions. 

He left just as he arrived.

—-

The next morning came, you woke up to your husband missing from his side of your bed, but soon, he entered with servants.

All carried presents for you.

"My Love! This day is special, we celebrate your birth after all! To show my love for you, these are all presents from me." 

"Thank you!" you smiled as the servants placed all gifts around you and left, leaving you and your husband who eagerly watched you and waited for your reaction.

You began with a smaller box, it had a beautiful new ring inside.

"To match my own." Geta spoke up and you looked at him, seeing his hand you noticed the same ring on his pinky. 

"I really like it. Thank you."

You looked at all the presents which included a lot of different jewellery, dresses and sweet things.

"I really liked everything, Geta. Thank you." you smiled as he waved a finger at you.

"Not everything. Of course, we will hold a party tonight, there will be cake as I promised and I still have one gift for you." 

The entire day went by pretty usual.

During the evening as promised, there was a party held in your honour.

You had so many sweets and enjoyed the songs. Your husband was there as you laughed and enjoyed yourself.

Caracalla was another pleasant surprise with his lovely gift. He arranged for you and Geta a lovely bath in a popular bathhouse.

But most importantly, your husband finally gave you your last gift. 

"As promised, My Empress, your new pet. Name him as you please." a beautiful white kitten sat in Geta's arms. Such a small and gentle being.

You stood up from your seat and your husband handed you the kitten.

"Thank you, My Love. I'm very happy. Today has been the happiest." you said with a smile and a kiss to your husband's lips.

"It is only the beginning, we still have much wine to drink and we will head to our chambers." he whispered the last part into your ears, and you smiled at him once more.

"I truly love you, Geta."

"And I love you, My Empress." 

You sealed your love with a kiss.

Taglist: 

@castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou 

@mandoloriancookie @deliciousfestsalad @lilliumrorum @asgards-princess-of-mischief 

@fallout-girl219 @dracaryxzs @snowtargaryen 

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[3rachaslut]

https://www.tumblr.com/3rachaslut/729194123843731456/i-saw-the-virgin-partner-post-and-i-just-want-to?source=share

We need maknae line too of this please

you got it!

a/n: it’s late and my eyes are stinging but i’m desperate to post this. i’ve proof read once but the writing could still be trashy who knows?🤷🏻‍♀️

——————————

virgin!skz x female reader MAKNAE LINE

cw: SMUT MINORS DNI !! pet names, a lot of fluff, boyfriend & girlfriend skzxreader

— hanji

“y/n…” han would say and you’d look at him with doe eyes as you always do that makes him melt. “yes baby?” you say, looking up from your phone. “um…”

he would run his hand up your thigh whilst you wait patiently for him to speak. his eyes would be flitting between you and his hand SO nervously. (it’s so cute!)

“i think im uhh.. i’m.. ready” he would say so hesitantly whilst refusing to even look at you from embarrassment. your eyes would actually light up from anticipation, questioning yourself if you even heard him correctly. the silence in the air whist you process what he just said would have him dying inside from embarrassment.

“really hannie? are your sure?” you try your best not to sound elated just in case he felt pressured but omg how you’ve been waiting for him to say that.

the way he would look into your eyes looking so nervous as you smile back at him trying to make him feel more at ease is so adorable!! “i think so. i’ve been thinking about you a lot.. like.. sexually” he would say and you’d chuckle adoringly at him “yeah i gathered that baby”

he would lowkey be so scared to touch all over your body but hearing your blissful moans encourages him to do so. (imagine his hands all over you OMG) soon he’s kissing up and down your thighs getting closer and closer to your pussy and your breath would be jagged which he smirks at.

“can i baby?” “PLEASE hannie please!” you. have. been. waiting. for. this. moment. your eyes would roll back into your head when you feel his tongue lick a strip up your cunt, shockwaves being sent to your clit omfggg. you would come so fucking hard and han is absolutely amazed at the sight.

“do you wanna.. no pressure!” you would assure him that you were MORE than happy to do whatever he’s comfortable with as it is his first time. lots and lots of whines from hanji like omfg he won’t be quiet (and we love that for us!)

he would try so so hard not to come too fast for you but oh how euphoric you feel he just can’t help it. the way you would both cuddle after you come back down is absolutely adorable omg you are both so cute AHH

(sorry for the ramble, the man’s my bias i can’t stop thinking about lovely, cute, nervous hannie)

— felix

felix is definitely the type to get a boner when you’re both play fighting in the living room during the adverts of the series you’re both watching. (sns) but how you’d usually both just laugh it off, this time he’s like “you can.. touch it if you want..” and you’d be so taken aback.

of course you want to JUMP at the opportunity but you’re still cautious. “are you sure lix? i don’t wanna rush anyth-“ “im ready y/n” he would say and the look in his eyes of nervousness and desperation warm your heart. you wanna give your all to him.

slowly you would slide your hand under the band of his sweatpants, gently running your finger under the length of his cock and the slight stimulation has he whimpering. he’s NEVER felt any sensation like this before and he’s literally ascending. you’d run kisses all over his neck, only adding to the pleasure he would be feeling omg. (he is so desperate for you rn)

you’d look into his eyes for approval before removing his sweats and boxers and holy- he looks gorgeous! (i’m actually dead) he’d be shivering in anticipation. “please y/n i need you baby” and you would be more than happy to oblige. sooo slowly you would start riding him and his mouth would drop open letting out strings of moans and groans ahh.

you’d lean down to plant kisses all over his neck and cheeks, you just wanna worship him. (i’m gonna cry)

when he comes, he would grip both your cheeks, staring into your beautiful eyes and strings of curses would leave his mouth as you smile down at him.

“i’m so proud of you lixie”

“i love you y/n”

— seungmin

allll minnie wants to do is make you feel like the most adored girl in the world by him. you’d come home from such a shit day at work and find him on the sofa, tuck yourself in next to him and he’d plant a kiss on your head. “bad day baby?” he says. “very” you’d lift your head up for a kiss in which he would reciprocate but would then obviously turn into a make out session.

what you wouldn’t expect though is the fact that he would be grabbing your hand and placing it on top of the rock hard tent in his jeans. clearly he wants you to take it slightly further? right? you would put a slight bit of pressure on top and start to rub your hand up and down which would elicit a BEAUTIFUL moan from him. “is this okay min?” “yes.. p- please”

he would undo his jeans (still making out with you duh) and you try your best to stop yourself from kicking your feet in happiness from the whole situation. “are you sure?” you say worried. “i’m 100% sure” he assures and you smile into the kiss.

lotsss of foreplay whilst seungmin is working up the confidence to do this properly with you. you really didn’t mind how this went, you were just so happy to finally be intimate with your favourite man.

you’d straddle his lap, his cock directly underneath your pussy and you give him a quick glance which he nods in response to. slowly, youd lower yourself onto him and he throws his head back in bliss against the couch. his hands would be roaming all over your thighs, torso, hips, ass (he CANNOT get enough of your body!)

“fuck baby- i’m sorry- i’m gonna cum” he would grunt out, lowkey embarrassed afff but you wouldn’t mind. it’s understandable. “gonna cu- ah”.

“omg that’s so embarrassing” he would say covering his face. you’d move his hands away to see his gorgeous face “i really don’t mind minnie”

“we will have to try again later…”

— jeongin

picture this: you and innie in your pjs watching a film after all the boys have left the apartment. (aww so cute BUT-) he leans over to place kisses on your collar bone whilst running his fingertips up your thigh. instantly you begin to feel yourself getting worked up…

“innie..” you’d say as your breath catches. “i wanna make you feel good babygirl” he would say in reply. where has this suddenly come from? what does he mean by that? your eyes would widen in shock. does he mean what you think he means? “lift up baby” and you do, he pulls your shorts and panties from underneath you soon finding your pussy and slowly sliding his fingertips inside your folds.

you would gasp and throw a hand over your mouth. innie has NEVER touched you like this before and you felt absolutely over the moon, the new sensations beginning to make you feel animalistic. “innie are you sure you’re okay to-“ he would disregard your worries with a kiss on your lips (omfg he’s so hot).

the way he would rub his fingertips around your clit has you writhing underneath him and you desperately try and get his cock out of his pj pants. he would moan down your ear at the feeling of your hands on him and that would only turn you on tenfold.

he would lean you to lay on your back on the couch and spread your legs slowly. “you’re so fucking beautiful y/n” (& that’s facts, reader!) “please innie i want you so bad” (also facts) and he would push into you slowly, his body shaking at the new incredible sensation.

whimpery. jeongin. !!!!

the way he would make out with you whilst he’s coming is so cute i could cry. (he loves you sm ahh)

“i love you innie” “i love you too baby”

[newtonsheffield]

Since I read Anthony talking to Neddy before sleep I can't stop imagining how it will be the first time Anthony tucks him to bed! 🥹

I think the first time Anthony stays late enough to see Neddy to bed he thought he’d just watch Kate do it. He loves watching Kate with Neddy anyway so it’s not like this is a burden really.

He watches her get Neddy ready for bed. Watches him get into his dinosaur pyjamas, watches Kate say side to side while heating milk on the stove for Neddy while he hugs her from the side, already singing him a lullaby. He watches Neddy settle into bed and Kate sit on his bed beside him which her arm around him and her chin resting on the top of his head as she reads him a story.

And then Neddy looks up at him, “Now my Anthony?”

Kate smiled encouragingly at Anthony as he stumbled forward, picking one of the books off the bookshelf that he remembered liking when he’d been a little boy. He sat on the other side of Neddy from Kate, feeling a Little awkward until Neddy nestled closer to him, sighing contentedly.

“I like this one.”

“I like this one too.” Anthony said gently, “Here we go.”

“I love you, Neddy.” Kate said gently when they slid off his bed, Neddy’s eyes already drooping as she kissed the top of his head.

“Love you Amma.”

“I love you as well, Neddy. Daddy loves you.” It’s the first time he’s told Neddy that and Anthony’s chest feels tight as Neddy nods sleepily.

“Love you too.”

“You need a drink.” Kate hummed as she closed the door behind them, already making her way to the kitchen. “You survived bed time, you deserve it.”

“I didn’t know one kid could want to hear Hairy Maclary so many times.”

“Eh, it’s a crowd pleaser.”

“We should add a Newton page in.” Anthony cleared his throat. “My brother Ben is pretty talented. He could match the artwork. It would surprise Neddy, he’d like it.”

Kate tilted her head as she stared at him. Almost as though she were seeing him for the first time, “You’re… really good at being a dad.”

“Thanks.” He tried to brush it off but it meant more to him than he could say.

“I mean it, Ant. I couldn’t have asked for a better co-parent. Glad my uterus got confused around you.”

“Me too? Not sure if that’s the right sentiment.”

Kate smirked, plucking two wine glasses off the shelf, “She was going and confused, I try to cut her some slack. You were very pretty after all.”

“Always happy to be a crowd pleaser myself.”

[warblogs17282]

Have some more reasons why I think Moxxie and Stolas have the potential to become friends at some point.

Daddy Issues - Having your life already be decided for you.

Moxxie was the child of the leader of the mob family, Crimson.

From when Moxxie was young, Crimson made sure to show Moxxie that if he ever disobeyed him, that he would kill Moxxie, effectively forcing Moxxie into the mob life, forcing Moxxie into the life he has planned out for him.

And well, the episode makes it pretty clear for multiple reasons why Moxxie hated being forced into the mob life, but I think the moment in the prison is the best example I can show you all. The scene where Moxxie is happy and grateful towards Blitz because Blitz is saving him from Crimson, because Blitz is saving him from being thrown right back into the mob life once again.

"Once I got out, I never looked back."

Moxxie never looked back in the direction of the mob life.

As for Stolas, he's the son of the king Paimon, born into the Goetia family as a prince.

"it is finally your day of becoming a true part of the Goetia family."

"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"

"Also, son, you are destined to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. So, you are now engaged."

Paimon's usage of the word destined can tell us that this was planned out in advance, and the usage of 'true part of the Goetia family' makes me feel like Stolas wouldn't be considered a 'true part of the Goetia family' if he refused to marry Stella, if he refused to sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. We don't exactly know what consequences that would entail for Stolas, but I can only imagine that the consequences would be quite bad.

Which in turn, effectively puts Stolas under metaphorical gunpoint to do his duties, marry Stella and sire a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. Therefore, having his life already decided for him, and his father forcing him into this life he's planned out as well, especially considering Paimon literally says that the future marriage is non-negotiable.

And well, it's very clear that Stolas doesn't want to marry Stella, just look at how Stolas reacts to seeing the picture of Stella.

Which gets me nicely onto my next section,

Daddy Issues part 2 - Arranged/Forced Marriages.

Now sure while the forced marriage to Chaz ended up falling through big time, and that Moxxie is married to the person he loves, Moxxie still had a brush with an arranged/forced marriage in s2 e3.

Crimson is quite literally physically forcing Moxxie to marry Chaz here, because at this point, Crimson still thinks the marriage will benefit him and the mob he runs.

And well, I just explained that Paimon put Stolas under a metaphorical gunpoint to marry Stella, aka, forcing Stolas to marry Stella, to go through with the arranged marriage to be a 'true part of the Goetia family'. With the benefit to the Goetia family and Paimon being the birth of a precautionary heir.

Again, this line from Paimon.

"Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?"

Daddy Issues Part 3 - Physical Abuse

It's pretty clear that Moxxie was most likely physically abused by Crimson, mainly because as both a child and an adult, Crimson just straight up grabs Moxxie's face to force Moxxie to look at him while he's speaking, there's other things that point to Moxxie likely being a victim of physical abuse, but this and the thing I'm about to show you are the bests examples I have.

There's also Crimson threatening to kill Moxxie if he disobeys him, but that's something I've already talked about in this post, so let's head to my next example.

In the flashback, we see Crimson literally committing domestic violence against Moxxie's mother, and Moxxie also witnesses this as well. With this further showing that Crimson is very much willing to commit physical abuse in order to make people stay in line.

While we don't exactly know how present Paimon was in Stolas' life (although everything points to him being almost never present in Stolas' life so far), what we do know is that Paimon is also quick to hit Stolas to keep him in line, with Paimon hitting Stolas on his head because he bowed to an imp, someone much lower than him in the hierarchy.

Plus, it's been made quite clear to us that Stolas was also the victim of domestic violence at the hands of Stella for years upon years, with Stella's reaction to Stolas catching her hand during this scene being all the proof we need of that claim.

Generally Absent Mothers.

Moxxie used to have his mother in his life as a child, but other than a few flashbacks and a painting, the show makes no mention of her, and I believe this is because she was murdered by Crimson.

I want you to look at her shoes during this scene.

And at a later point of the flashback sequence, a shoe floats up that appears to match (although the black lines on the bowtie of the shoe are different between these two scenes, but that's probably just an animation thing) pretty much perfectly, making the theory that Crimson killed Moxxie's mother pretty likely to me.

As for Stolas, we don't exactly know anything about Stolas' mother yet, but she hasn't been seen or been mentioned at all, so at this point in time I'm guessing she was just never in Stolas' life.

Finally, we have,

Gaining the courage to stand up to their abusers.

So in conclusion, while Moxxie and Stolas have had very different lives and upbringings, I do believe that there's quite a few common points between Moxxie and Stolas that I've just mentioned they could relate to each other about, which could be a factor in Moxxie and Stolas becoming friends at some point down the line, if the show chooses to go down that route.

Of course there's also the fact that Moxxie likes musicals and Stolas would be likely to also enjoy musicals as well, giving them an activity they could both enjoy together, but I've mentioned that plenty of times before so I'm not mentioning it here.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

spent a good hour reading up on your Not What He Seems AU, it’s such a perfect mix of angst and whimsy! Ford waking up to find 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye is is the kind of body horror terrifying i eat up, as an avid enjoyer of time travel and its inherent tragedy.

i got a few questions, if you’ll indulge me:

- what kinds of tattoos you think Bill has gotten over the years? i think i saw some arm bands in one of your pieces, but i’d love to hear if you have any specific ideas for placements or images. if he’s doing it for the safe pain experience, i’d think there are some pretty big/detailed pieces involved? and do you think the pain helps ground him somewhat, to find and fit better in the boundaries of the body?

- in the show, Stan feels a lot of guilt for stealing his brother’s identity and he kinda thinks of himself as a fraud, an actor. do you think Bill ever feels guilty for the same? or would he just miss Ford a lot, without the Stan-specific aspect of pretending to be “the better one”?

also any fun tidbits you’ve been rotating in your head lately! it’s impressive how specifically it seems like you’ve thought out how Bill’s presence would affect the canon show events, while trying to keep them as unchanged as possible. also StanFraud is the funniest, most perfect thing I’ve ever heard!

Thank you!! I’ve always enjoyed writing horror based on human response, so Ford’s perspective is probably one of the most fascinating to me in this AU, although, all of it is fascinating and enjoyable to explore, really!

— I haven’t worked them all out yet, but I know for a fact he has a tattoo of the Cipher Wheel on his back, the arm bands as you mentioned, a hyper-realistic tattoo of his ribs where his ribs would be (if that makes sense), and eyes on the back of his hands. Honestly, I’d be open to suggestions for him! I imagine him having some more grotesque, detailed tattoos that reflect the nightmare realm as well. And yes, the pain definitely helps ground him. It also gives him a sense of control as well, in a situation where he has none.

— If he does feel guilty, it’s a complicated kind of guilt. I don’t even think he’d fully process that he’s feeling guilty. It’s this sort of gnawing feeling he can’t get rid of, and it starts the longer he gets to know Dipper and Mabel — he never really felt it before that. He absolutely misses Ford though. He can’t define that feeling either. I’ve said before that he looks at Dipper strangely, and that’s because Dipper reminds him of Ford in certain moments, eager for discovery!

He and Stan never really talk about it, but the have both acknowledged missing Ford before.

Bill’s response was vague though, not an ‘I miss him too’, but an ‘I think I do too.’ He isn’t sure what to make of that.

Bill Cipher doesn’t feel remorse, or miss people, he does everything with intention and he’s never made mistakes. Or, that’s what he’s meant to be. Maybe he has gone soft.

And Tidbits! I have a few! Not as many as usual, only because Arcane’s been taking up a bit of my brain space lately, but I hope these shall suffice anyhow:

(And quickly, thank you again, I think way too hard on all the small details and how Bill’s presence would have a knock on effect. It makes me happy to see it get noticed!)

— In the early days of Bill being trapped, Stan obviously doesn’t open the Mystery Shack, and ends up having to take a few odd jobs around town instead. He’s earned a bit of a reputation for being a decent handyman because of that, and even now, old timers of the town will still come to Stan if they need something fixing, especially cars. He complains about getting too old for it, but he never says no. Money is money! It’s also interesting to think about how the little things would impact his relationship with the townsfolk and how they view him. He’s always been Stanley to them. He’s never had to pretend otherwise.

— I’ve toyed around with making the Blind Eye a bigger threat than they are in canon, being as the kids would have no reason to look into Old Man McGucket. I’ve also toyed around with McGucket ending up slightly different to canon, his mind still broken, but his motivation different, with him being aware early on that the man he sees isn’t Ford, and is in fact the beast he fears and tried to erase from his mind. A more antagonistic Fiddleford who’s been trying to get rid of Bill for years now would actually be really fun? If I can make it work, and make the Blind Eye work in this way, I’ll lean into it! For now though, it’s just an idea I’m throwing around.

— Vague ‘episode’ idea that exists within my brain is Bill accidentally starting a mini cult again after telling some sort of lie that catches on, and it ends up being a Mabel-Bill bonding plot-line as she tries to convince him to just be honest before this whole cult thing gets taken too far. I also love the idea of Bill making a comment about this being like 1952 all over again. He makes comments like that all the time. Surely he’s just joking!

— Another vague ‘episode’ idea I have is Bill taking Dipper and Mabel to the supernatural underground market of Gravity Falls under Stan’s nose, trying to prove he’s the cooler Uncle, and that he can handle the two kids by himself. This goes about as well as you’d expect. Stan isn’t too happy to find out Bill got Dipper and Mabel in trouble, as he tried to get them to do more and more risky things.

— Bill will sometimes start speaking in Euclydian without realising, especially when it comes to cursing, and no one knows how he’s making those sounds with his mouth. Stan’s actually started picking up some of the meanings in context and can roughly gauge what Bill might be saying.

[saioratral]

so there's this professor... - 01 Fractured Equations masterlist

“do you even know yourself, or are you just another child moulded by the world around us?”

your small eyes search for the voice, a distant echo floating in the cold air. you shuffle closer, yearning for the warmth of the fading memory, but the chilly air of britain’s streets sink into your bones. here, survival isn’t merely a skill; it’s a daily battle that leaves you feeling small and utterly alone like a speck of dust

“promise me you won’t fall into the mould”

you look up, your heart aching at the sight of her sad smile painted on like a fragile mask of a porcelain doll, cracking at the edges. behind it lies grief far too vast for a seven-year-old to fathom.

how could you ever comprehend the weight of her sorrow? 

your tiny hands reach out, desperate for comfort, but all you grasp is emptiness—the coldness of fingers that once cradled you close, now forever still. cold hands fall on your face as you stare in horror

no word slips from your lips, not even a fragile whisper, just a silent plea from your heart. another reminder that love can vanish, leaving only absence in your already empty void. you want to scream, to shake her from her slumber.

but instead, you sit there. hope became a cruel joke, and the warmth of her embrace is a ghost that taunts you. tears prick as you try your hardest to carve her smile into your memory. in that moment, you realise 

you’re not just searching for her; you’re searching for yourself in the ruins of her despair. 

“mother..?”

…

…

…

“hold on- let me say goodbye to my mother before we head off”

you snap back to the present, watching your best friend dash into his mother’s store. you see her happy smile as she leans down, allowing him to plant a small kiss on her cheek before he turns away. you’ve always waited for him before heading to class. it’s a cherished tradition: you walk to his house in the morning, and he walks you back after class

“flowers? my mom had extras,” alvin offers, pushing a small bouquet of neatly arranged lavender roses into your hands.

“you always give me the same kind,” you say, bringing it closer

“blame my mom for growing too many. come on! we’re going to be late!” he insists, pulling you along, not wanting to elaborate 

“i miss my mother whenever i see yours,” you mutter softly, the words slipping out before you can catch them

“i miss her too- even though i never met her. which is weird if you think about it,” alvin replies, glancing back at your sad expression

“i can’t remember her anymore”

you switch off your thoughts for a moment, letting him navigate through the bustling marketplace. you treasure these few minutes, allowing your imagination to roam. daydreaming is another beloved pastime, and alvin provides the perfect escape into your bubble of comfort.

with your bag slung over his shoulder, he takes your hand in his free hand, unwilling to lose you in the crowd.

“i heard we have a new maths professor,” alvin begins again, trying to lift the mood

“he’s supposed to be young and a genius,” he adds, looking at you for a reaction.

“maths professor? what about mrs aya?” you suddenly remember

“oh, her? thomas said she’s now in his astronomy class- lucky fella,” alvin groans

you laugh at his silliness. the only reason he liked mrs. aya was for the free snacks she gave out after class. her husband, a wealthy lord, often sent treats during her lessons, accompanied by a signature green note that wished her a great day ahead. 

“one day, i’m going to find out who her lover is so i can ask if he has a sister! i’ve never tasted such wonderful cookies,” alvin reminisces

“i guess you won’t have them anymore,” you pat his back as he sulks at the thought

and just like that, you both walk toward your university building. alvin greets everyone he sees on campus, a habit that leaves you questioning his motives

“no? i’m not friends with security, but everyone deserves a good smile!” he responds cheerily

“you’re not fully dressed without a smile.”

“did you just quote haz-”

“stop. robert and his gang.. again”

with that, alvin moves you behind him, muttering about “stupid rich boys” as they approach. you clutch the flowers closer, watching him roll his eyes dramatically. a sigh escapes his lips as he stands face-to-face with robert

“how do you always bump into us? it’s almost like you wait here,” alvin begins

“me? wait for some peasants? do you not know who i am? i am robert smith! the-”

“the second son of lord smith and the sole heir of the luxury leather manufacturers. we know. you’re a broken record at this point,” alvin interrupts, mimicking him.

“i see [last name] still comes here. have you not found a partner yet? you keep coming to ‘educate’ yourself, but what’s the point? no one would hire a low-class rat,” robert retorts, his friends snickering in the background.

“i told you to leave us alone, right? get lost” alvin insists, trying to shoo robert away, but he stands firm

“i could propose to spare your lowly life… i do need a new piece for my future collection,” robert continues to taunt

“ooh, how unfortunate! to me, [name] leroy sounds a lot better than [name] smith- which, by the way, sounds like a shoe polisher,” alvin shoots back as he walks away with you

“you don’t always have to defend me,” you mutter, glancing back at the fuming robert.

“grow a spine first stupid” alvin replies, looking at you with his usual smile.

with that, you both reach your first class. mathematics has its own muse, but you’ve never understood the supposed muse. while you’re not failing, you’re certainly not a star student either. you settle into your seats in the middle rows as alvin struggles to see the board from far

“glasses aren’t such a bad thing…” you comment as you pull out your notebook.

“true, but i don’t see why i should pay so much just to read the board,” alvin sighs, slouching back with his latest magazine.

“you’re going to pay attention to the board… with a magazine?” you question.

“shush, i don’t want to label you as a snitch,” he teases, flipping through the pages.

you let the conversation drop, not wanting to disturb his reading. your gaze drifts around the classroom, where a mix of new faces and familiar ones fills the room. it’s a new semester, and getting into the university was not easy, given the challenging entry requirements.

right on cue, your new professor walks in. his striking blonde hair catches your eye, making him stand out immediately. even his three-piece brown suit looked more expensive than your entire snack budget.

he stands before the board, chalk in hand, neatly writing his name with precision. even his handwriting exudes a sense of perfection. he appears rather young for a mathematics professor, surprising you further.

“i am william james moriarty,” he introduces himself as he turns to the students. “i’ll be teaching mathematics.”

"moriarty...?", alvin mumbles the name and shudders. you look at him strangely but he doesn't seem to care

“i hope you take this class seriously. i remember a quote by albert einstein,” william states.

“pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.”

“what is he even saying?” alvin whispers, and you shrug in response

“now, some of you might be like mr. leroy here, confused as to why i brought this up,” william continues. “think of my words as motivation.”

“he knows my name??” alvin gasps, nearly shouting in your ear

“i am well aware of everyone’s name, mr. leroy. you’re not as quiet as you presume to be,” he replies, and the class erupts into laughter. 

you can’t help but join in as alvin buries his face in his arms, magazine forgotten on the floor. the rest of the class unfolds normally. your professor teaches, and the time slips away. class had ended before you even finished your notes. 

“should we get him a little gift?” you ask as you pack your bag

“a gift?? for him?? after he embarrassed me??” alvin exclaims, his bewildered expression making you laugh

“your hair is messy again silly”, you sighed 

a silence falls between you, and you reach out to push the bangs from his forehead. he flinches, feeling your hand before swatting it away to fix his hair himself muttering about how he could do it himself 

“okay, so what are you going to get him, your majesty?” alvin rolls his eyes

“a set of new chalk?” you suggest 

“chalk? why? the school provides him with a huge box!” he reasons.

“no, no! i mean the kind used by mathematicians- hagoromo chalk! isn’t it nice? i could even knit him a small napkin to clean the board later on!” you continued 

“i don’t see you putting this much effort into my gifts…”

© saioratral 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator. all images used are from pinterest

taglist (forgot to post- whoops):

@fishii28 @ayaswrld @eliasorchard @onna-musha-mari @dija200

[giggly-squiggily]

OMG OMG SENTENCE STARTERS ARE OPEN AGAIN??? YAYYYY OKAY!! So lately I’ve been obsessed with matchablossom (I think is the ship name!!!) so can I request Lee!Cherry with the sentence like “what did you just say?” or something like that?

love your work, so excited to see where this goes if you do it!!

*happy screeching noises* YES! :D I love them your honor! :D Anon, I've gotcha covered! (Aww!!! Thank you so much!)

CW: Some suggestive humor? (Do mentions of food-gasms count?)

“What did you just say?” Joe couldn’t believe his ears.

“I said nothing. You’re hearing things.” Cherry waved him off, avoiding his grinning gaze. “Must have hit your head too many times these past few years. Not that it’d make a difference in your intellect level.”

“Haha, call me stupid all you want! I heard you just say you liked my food!” Joe practically ran around the counter in his excitement. Sure, it was a given considering how often Cherry came around, but to have verbal confirmation? That was rare! “Say it again!”

“I said no such thing.” Cherry turned fully away from him, jaw set with aggravation at the shit eating grin Joe wore. Why did he marry this man again? “That was your imagination.”

“Say it. Say it, say it again!” Fingers slid into Cherry’s sides, making him jerk, biting his lip. “Say you like my food, Kaoru~”

“N-Nehehever! Geheht off, yooohou dahhaamn gorihiihhilla!” Cherry tried elbowing him, his hits ineffective as he lost himself in reluctant laughter. “I siihihihmply sahhahid it wahahhas dehehehcent!”

“That’s not what I heard! You were all swoon-like when you said “I love your cooking”! You practically moaned it!” Joe laughed as he buried his face in Cherry’s neck, worsening his ticklish predicament. “That’s some high praise when someone has a food-gasm over my cooking! Especially my beloved.”

“Doohohn’t be soohoho grohohoohss! Gehahahhaha, geheheht! Ehahahha, Kohohojirohoho!” Cherry was going to kill him. He was gonna kill him and then bury his body somewhere no one would be able to find it. “Fihihihine, fihihihine I lihihiked it, now stahhahap!”

“Say you loved it!” “Dohohon’t be grehehhehheedy!”

“Say it or I’m going for your hips.”

“Gehahaha- fihihihine! Fihihihine I love yoohohur food! Enohohough!” Cherry gave in when those hands rested on his worst spot, gasping for air when they finally stopped. “Hahhappy?”

“Hmm..almost.” Cherry was about to ask him what the hell he meant when Joe took his chin gently, kissing his lips. All his previous anger faded near immediately. “Now I am.”

“You’re so annoying. You’re lucky I love you so.” Cherry rolled his eyes, cheeks burning. Joe simply kissed him again.

“I love you too.”

Send me a sentence starter and I'll write a dabble for you! :D

[ladylooch]

Bones - Part 6 [Mack x David]

A/N: This chapter has a lot of items in it for what was sent in as requests for the series! I hope you loooooove it! It's spicy, funny, and sweet all wrapped up in one. Happy Saturday, bbys!

Favorite quote? "You my girl, Hischier?" 😍🥵😩

Word Count: 4.5k

It’s almost laughable about what is currently happening right now. 

If Mack thinks about the last year of her life, she really could not have imagined everything that has transpired. A year ago, she was still seeing David as a fling, a hot fuck whenever she felt the itch needed to be scratched. Which was a lot because, well, he’s David. Now, all her belongings are packed into brown boxes, ready to be carted away to David’s apartment. Well, their apartment.

This is all happening willingly. A lot of conversations have been had about this in the months since Mack returned to New York. As much as David assured her they could slow things down, Mack didn’t see the point. If they’re gonna do this, they should really do it. Commit. Go all in the way they both deserve now. She already ran once and she’s not doing it again. 

So when Mack went the whole month of February without going back to her place, she brought the topic up.

“What if I move in?” Mack had asked in his arms as they watched TV together on a Wednesday night. Mack had terrible cramps and his hand laid across the warm, heating pad covering her lower abdomen, massaging lightly. 

“Haven’t you already?” He murmured. Mack looked around his place, seeing her stuff littered everywhere. Maybe she’s made herself a little too at home. 

“Okay, what if I brought everything here?” She reframed.

“I’d say it would finally be home for me too.” He answered, kissing her puckered lips.

That was a month ago. Mack broke her lease four months early and now she is here, monitoring the move with an iced espresso in her hand.

She grabs her phone, taking a picture of her by all her boxes and sending it to her boyfriend. David is currently out of town for the last Rangers road game of the season in Philadelphia. It was exciting to send him off knowing when he came back they would be living together. Her and David discussed their furniture and were able to consolidate it all down to fit into his place. Most of her decor has been donated though. The overly feminine pieces wouldn’t have made sense in the current modern, masculine design. David has already given her free reign to make changes. 

Right now, Mack doesn’t have the desire. She likes it just the way it is.

After the movers pack up the last of her boxes, Mack walks down to the office to turn her keys in. She waves goodbye to the leasing office agents then moves to the lobby where Ron waits, already teary.

“I knew you would be gone after that first kiss.” Ron admits to her. Mack tears up, nodding her head.

“He is impossible to say no to.”

“I am happy for you, Mack.” He says as she hugs him. “This is good for you. Being closer to Lucie will be good too.” Ron is right about this, especially as Lucie is expecting her second daughter later in the year.

“Thank you, Ron. For everything. I’ll pop by and visit, okay? Bring you some Swiss Chocolate when I go back home.”

“I would love that. Tell your parents I said goodbye." Mack nods. 

“How about see you later instead?” Ron smiles then waves her off to her next chapter like the good, kind man he is.

The movers are already in motion when she arrives to her new, familiar building. She quickly rushes upstairs and then gets out of their way again. She sits at the dining room table, checking in on work chats and emails. They are done in under an hour. Mack tips them in extra cash for the quick service, then shuts the door behind them all. She leans back against the door and grins. She snaps another picture to send to David.

Welcome home, honey 

Come home to me soon 🥺

I will. Don’t give away any of my shit until I get home.

Say please.

Please. Brat.

Mack snickers then sends him a thumbs up in response.

The rest of the day she unpacks her things. She is able to get all of her clothes and bathroom items put away before the game starts. Then once it does, she moves to the kitchen so she can multitask. Anything that there is double of, she leaves out on the counter for them to discuss.

Mack raises her gaze to the TV when the announcers exclaim that David is fighting with another player. She winces as David’s fist connects with the guys face, sending him to the ice with a bloody cheek. She shakes her head as David skates lazily towards the penalty box, unaffected. Men.

Mack is still unwrapping glassware in the kitchen when David comes home. She took a long, extended break to have dinner with Lucie downstairs. Then she helped read Stella bed time stories until she fell asleep. By the time Mack left, Lucie had been asleep on the couch too. This arrangement is already working out wonderfully for the Hischier girls.

“Honey, I’m home.” David calls out as he walks in. She laughs. 

“How long have you been dying to do that?”

“Oh, forever.” He admits. He tosses his bag by the door, then walks into hug her in the kitchen. “Look at you lil unpacking machine.” He kisses her lips. “What’s all this?”

“This is the stuff we have doubles of.”

“Cool. I do not want to do this tonight.”

“No, tomorrow. I’m sleepy.”

“Did they set the bed up?” Mack and David decided to keep Mack’s bed and move his into the second bedroom where her office will be. 

“Yep. I washed the sheets. We’re all set.”

“I have been so excited to go to bed tonight.” He chuckles. “Not just because of your bed, but knowing I get you in it every night now…” He trails off. Mack smiles softly up at him, then tugs him by his tie down to kiss him again. David’s hands wind along her back. “You happy, baby?”

“So happy.” She murmurs, chin resting on his chest. He smoothes her hair down at the sides, then leans forward to smooch her lips longingly. “My pretty girl.” He says against her lips, then kisses her deeper.

“You feeling lucky tonight?”

“Mhm.” He mumbles, hands sliding down to her ass. They grip there for a moment, then go to the backs of her thighs to lift her up. As he is walking her to the hallway, his phone rings in his pocket. He sets Mack down on the bed, then pulls the phone out to see who is calling so late.

“Hey Woody.” He answers. He pops the phone on speaker so Mack can hear.

“Hey, uh, can one of you, or both of you, I don’t care, come down and sit with Stella? She’s asleep, but Lucie woke up and is bleeding. We called her doctor and they want her to come in.” Mack sits up quickly. 

“Yeah I’ll come down.” Mack says to Connor. 

“Thank you. Can you hurry? I’m trying to get Luc there ASAP.”

“Yep, I’m on my way,” Mack reaches for her phone that was charging on the nightstand. She grabs a sweatshirt from the closet, then kisses David goodbye.

“I’ll change and come down.” He calls to her.

“Okay.” 

When Mack gets to Connor and Lucie’s apartment, they have the door open, waiting for her.

“Good luck. I love you.” Mack offers to them both. “Text me whats going on when you can.”

“We will.” Connor answers for his wife who looks white as a ghost. Tears line her brown eyes as her husband leads her from the apartment. The door softly shuts behind them. Mack goes to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water, then gets to work on loading dirty dishes from the sink into the dishwasher. She needs to be doing something with her hands after that interaction.

A knock sounds on the door, then David comes popping in. 

“Hey honey, did you talk with them?”

“Not really. Lucie looked pretty worried. They were anxious to get going.”

“Hopefully everything is okay.” He brings a hand to her shoulder, rubbing at it, providing her comfort. Mack nods, feeling her throat clog up with emotion. She’s scared for her sister. Pregnancy is no joke. The issues that both mom’s and babies can have are sometimes life threatening. Mack feels queasy just thinking about something being wrong with Lucie or the baby. 

“I’m gonna go sit down I think.” Mack murmurs. David follows her to the couch, helping her sit. Mack swallows hard as David wanders back to the kitchen to grab her water for her. He hands it to her. Mack thanks him. 

Little, bare footprints hit the hallway. David turns around, seeing a sleepy, pouty Stella appear in the lit hallway arch.

“Where’s daddy?” She asks, rubbing her little eyes tiredly.

“Him and mommy went to go check on your baby sister.” Mack tells her. She opens her arms of her niece and sighs contently when Stella wiggles into her lap. David sits down next to the two girls, offering his hand to Stella for her to hold. She grips two of his fingers with her little hand. 

“Why didn’t I get to go?”

“Cause it’s late.”

“I got to go last time.” Lucie and Connor took her to the 20 week appointment so Stella could see her little sister on the ultrasound. It was the talk of her entire week.

“Yeah, this one is a little different, babe.” Mack murmurs, kissing her head as Stella drops it to her shoulder. David reaches up, smoothing back Stella’s wild brown curls. 

The three of them sit on the couch like that, quietly comforting one another until Mack gets a text from Connor.

On our way back. Everything is okay.

Mack and David sigh in pure relief. David peeks at Stella’s face, seeing her passed out.

“I’ll take her back to bed.”

Mack allows him to pick her up then follows him down to Stella’s bedroom. In the doorway, she watches David tuck Stella into her little pink, princess bed. He brings the blankets back up to her mid chest, then re-arranges her stuffed animals around her like she prefers. Mack smiles. He’s so good at taking care of his people. Then with a gentle pat of her hair, David walks quietly out of the room. He weaves his and Mack’s fingers together and leads her back to the living room where they wait for Lucie and Connor to return. When they do, the four of them share hugs between each other. 

“Thank you, guys.” Connor murmurs as he walks them to the door. Lucie has already padded down the hallway to go to bed, utterly exhausted. 

“Of course. We are so thankful everything is okay too.” Mack tells him.

“How did the move go?”

“Good.” She assures him. Connor nods.

“I’m glad your close by now with this guy.” Connor clasps David’s shoulder. “Now I just need him to officially be my brother…” Connor’s blue eyes sparkle playfully.

“Okay, goodnight.” Mack smiles, patting Connor’s arm as she walks through the door. 

“What, nothing? You two are really not gonna give me anything?”

“Nope.” David shrugs. “Goodnight.” He tosses an arm around Mack’s shoulders. He kisses her head, then looks back, smirking at his defense partner. Connor scoffs at them then begrudgingly calls goodnight down the hallway. The soft click of the door has Mack and David snickering to each other. 

“We’ll never tell.” David jokes to her.

“Never. When we get married, let’s not tell him for like six months.” Mack tangles their fingers together at her right shoulder.

“Oh we’re getting married?” David asks slyly.

“You know we are.”

“I do. Just didn’t realize you did…” He trails off with a smug smirk.

“I don’t move in with guys I don’t see as my future husband.”

“Plural, huh? Damn, I thought I was special.” Mack laughs loudly as they step into the elevator.

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah that apparently I got some competition somewhere.”

“No, you don’t.” Mack shakes her head. “It’s only ever gonna be you.” 

“Ditto, beautiful.” He puckers his lips like a duck at her.

Mack kisses him deeply, then leads him out of the elevator to continue what they started in their bedroom before.

- - - & - - -

The heavy purr of David’s motorcycle beneath Mack’s thighs is weirdly comforting. Playoffs are starting tomorrow and all David wanted to do with his last, non-hectic day was to take out the bike. The weather is cooperating. It’s a warm enough day that Mack won’t freeze in the wind and the streets are mostly cleaned off from the winter time gunk. David had called Mack on his way back from practice, asking her to play hooky with her work day. So she did.

The breeze rolls through Mack’s hair, whipping it about in it’s pony tail that trails down her back. The helmet is making her face and head sweaty, but she doesn’t mind. Her hands spread out along David’s stomach, holding on to him as they take each lazy turn of the Hudson River trail. They’re well out of the city now, seeing the budding trees and the expansive rolling river as it climbs further North. Mack and David did this ride in the fall to see the changing leaves during a few day break for training camp. It’s fun to see the trees coming full circle with their Spring blooms. 

David taps Mack’s thigh, letting her know they are going to be changing speeds. He slows down as they come to a scenic overlook. It’s a Tuesday afternoon, so they are alone on the road. David brings the bike to a stop. The shudders of the engine shake Mack as she flips her helmet off. David kicks the stand down, then stands, holding a hand out to help her off.

“You’re getting good at this, honey.” He compliments her as she fixes her hair back into a smoother hairstyle. He puts his helmet next to hers on the bike then stretches out his neck and shoulders as he walks towards the stone wall curving around the cliff. “Damn. If we didn’t start off in the city, I might almost be able to believe we are back home.” Mack smiles in agreement. They are quiet, observing the gorgeous, rolling hills of trees and the lazy flow of the river.

“This was such a good idea. Thank you.” Mack acknowledges. She has been feeling uninspired and antsy in her professional life, even as her personal life smoothes to a steady, comfortable cruise. She just hates everything she is writing. How is it possible she can be in such different places, but her words all sound the same? 

“Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course.” She acknowledges. “I’d go anywhere with you.” David smiles.

“Except Dallas?” Mack stills. Dallas and David haven’t come up together in months. Well maybe it has, but she hasn’t been searching it out like before.

“Oh?”

“What about New York?” Mack looks away, thinking about where this is going.

“I mean, yeah? We were just there.”

“What about if we are there for 8 more years?” Mack startles.

“What?” Her voice already is small and timid from trying to control her emotions.

“Paperwork is coming today.”

“I thought…”

“I did too. But they approached my agent about it last week and I said get it done. Whatever they’re willing to pay me, I’ll take it.”

“So a dollar?” Mack jokes. David tilts his head back and laughs loudly at the sky. Then he reaches for her, pulling her into his chest to hold her close.

“I’m already a rich man having you, honey. I don’t need anything else. I know I tell you stuff like that all the time, but I mean it. This is the first time something big is happening for me when I have someone in my life. I’m so glad it’s you. I love sharing all this with you.”

“Is this the same speech you’re going to give to Connor?”

“Yes.” David smirks. “Can’t live without him either.” Mack giggles, gripping the opening of his leather jacket.

“Wow. New York for eight years. A Ranger for life?” 

“Mhm.”

“You’re going to be so old in 8 years… And I’ll still be young.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, we’ll get you passed on to your second husband by then.” 

“I can do 8 years with you.” Mack nods in agreement. “I get half though?”

“Sure! If I get half of yours.” Mack gasps then shakes her head no immediately. Despite David’s NHL salary and his lucrative farming business, Mack’s money surpasses his by close to 10 million. Daddy’s money grew well over the years with various, hands-off investments. It will continue to do so in the next 8 years too.

“I’m happy for you. Proud too. You’ve worked so hard to get here. You deserve this.”

“Thank you.” He nods, looking stoic and proud. “I’m excited to see where we are in 8 years.” He squeeze her fingers as they pull apart, looking back out over the gorgeous view they’re in front of.

“Yeah.” Mack murmurs. 

But after this last year, Mack knows there is no use trying to picture it now. She’s sure it’s all going to come together the way it should, better than she could even imagine it anyway. Plus right now, all she cares about is being who they are in this moment. 

Two people at the starting line of love with a whole life left to live.

- - - & - - -

Inside MSG, Mack and Lucie hold hands with Stella as they walk down the concourse to their seats. All three ladies are decked out in their Rangers playoffs gear. Lucie and Stella have bold white letters with their last name and Connor’s number while Mack is adorned in Carlson and 14. Butterflies are swarming in Mack’s stomach that the margarita at dinner did nothing to fix. 

“I wish I could drink right now.” Lucie mutters to her sister as the national anthem ends. The boys are in their home blues, circling around and then gathering at the bench for the opening face off.

“Yeah.” Mack breathes out. Usually, she doesn’t care. But today she does. It’s playoffs. The team has a real chance this year and honestly, with David’s long term investment being announced today, she wants him to play well. She wants him to show the fans and the team exactly what they’re going to get for the next eight years. 

As David lines up on Connor’s right side. Mack folds her lip into her mouth. She crosses her legs, sending out safe vibes for her man. 

Then the puck drops and utter chaos breaks out. 

The game is intense. The crowd loud and in the opposing team’s face. Constant cheering and buzz swirls round them as the teams battle on the ice. David keeps getting into little scrums. Mack sighs every time she sees his gloved hand face wash someone. He jaws at number 44 on the opposing team half the time they’re on the ice together. 

At the start of the third period, the game is tied 1-1. The Rangers need a push and it’s no surprise to anyone that David drops the gloves with 44. The two of them swing heavy blows at each other, some connecting, some wizzing by the others head. It’s David that ends up on top. As he skates to the box, he swings his arms up in the air, yelling at the crowd to get pumped. Mack giggles, looking over at her sister.

“Why is that so hot?” Mack nibbles her lip seductively, looking down at him in the penalty box. He runs a towel over his face and hair, leaving the black strands sticking up in places. 

“I don’t know.” Lucie shrugs. 

“Why did he fight?” Stella asks, looking over at Mack like she should answer for him. “Was he mean?”

“Yeah.” Mack settles on. She isn’t sure what else she could say. Stella is too young to understand the nuances of the game and truthfully, Mack doesn’t think she would care anyway. She’s all about trying to get her second bundle of cotton candy. 

The team battles to hold their 1-1 tie game while David is in the box. Several dangerous looks are tossed on goal but the Rangers goalie keeps the team in the game. The crowd cheers loudly when David skates out of the box after his time is done. Now that they have fought, 44 and David keep their distance from each other. David has a game to win and his focus is on the next 10 minutes to get them the W. 

It takes another 5 minutes, but the Rangers score. Lucie and Mack fly out of their seats, high-fiving and yelling loudly for their boys as they roll through the bench handshake line.

“Connor assisted on that.” Lucie beams proudly. 

The next five minutes feel like hours. Several quick whistles hit. TV time outs play out then an on the ice time out before the opponents pull their goalie. Mack watches through her fingers as the clock winds down. David goes down to block a shot that has Mack yelping. He is fine, but she didn’t like that one. When the final buzzer sounds to signal a Rangers win, the building erupts. Fans wave their white towels furiously with their cheers. 

The Rangers have one of their 16 wins. 

After the game, Lucie and Mack hang out to wait for the boys. Media takes longer in the playoffs and it’s no surprise that both Connor and David are pulled aside for interviews. They walk out of the locker room together, dressed, with still wet hair as they discuss a few plays from the game.

“Next time, let’s look for a reverse there. I don’t think their forecheck can pick that off behind the net.” David says to Connor.

“I agree. Also I wanna see us stepping up more at the blue line. Light ‘em up.” Connor smirks at his partner as they come to stop by the girls.

“Really?” Lucie whines. “Don’t forget someone here is pregnant.” Her belly pokes out of her jacket as she puts her hands on her hips. 

“I did that.” Connor sighs happily. He puts a hand on her belly then leans down to kiss her. David does the same with Mack, minus the hand on her stomach.

“Couldn’t resist, huh?” Mack asks David.

“Never.” He grins.

“I liked it.” She admits. “There is something about you all sexy and ruffled in the penalty box that gets to me.”

“Alright. Bye Woods!” David announces. He wraps Mack up tight into his side, almost head locking her in place. Mack laughs, holding onto his back as he drags her forward.

“Bye!” Mack yells, waving to them without looking back. David’s fingers run over the Carlson on her back as he opens the passenger side door for her. 

“Speaking of looking sexy…” He trails off, grinning at her. 

“Take me home, cowboy.”

David races home, weaving through traffic quickly so he can get Mackenzie Hischier stripped down to just that jacket on her body. When he slides his cock into her from behind, his low groan of appreciation has Mack buzzing as hard as the arena was earlier. 

“Fuck. Look so good with me all over you.” David murmurs. His hands run under her jacket to grab her bare hips. His eyes take in her Carlson covered back as he pumps deep inside of her. Mack whimpers at the delicious fullness of him. His palms slide up to her chest, cupping her breasts as she takes him deep. Mack presses up on her hands so his chest meets her back, then she turns her face to moan into his mouth. “You my girl, Hischier?”

“Yes.” 

“Mmm that’s right.” He grabs her cheek, keeping her face turned towards his so he can kiss her and fuck her at the same time. He helps her raised more on her knees so it’s easier for them to stay connected everywhere. “All mine.” 

Their change in position makes everything deeper. Mack grasps at his neck to hold on while he pistons into her wet core. His other hand trails down her stomach, wiggling her clit in wild strokes.

“I love you.” He says, resting their noses together as he fucks harder into her.

“I love you.” She moans back. The back of her head hits his shoulder and he finishes her off after her desperate pleas for him to make her come. 

He pulls out of her afterwards, gently peeling her jacket off to put it in the closet for the game on Thursday. Then he cleans up in the bathroom before coming back to take care of her.

After he is done wiping her clean, he kisses her deeply. Mack’s heart aches for him to be closer even as he pulls her into his chest to cuddle. It never feels like they are close enough for her. She wants to be pasted to him at all times. Mack brings the fingers of her left hand up to his chest. She traces zig zags down his sternum as a tiredness from their big day of activity begins to descend. 

A thought comes to her as she thinks about the next eight years spent right here with him.

“I would have gone to Dallas with you. Or Seattle. Or anywhere.” She murmurs to him. “I only want us to be together. It doesn’t matter where.”

“I’m glad you say that because… I wanna be honest with you. This is my last deal and when it’s done, I wanna head home. Build a life there with you that is slower and quieter than this.” His fingers massage her scalp as he talks.

“I would really like that.” Mack tells him. “We can have matching rocking chairs?”

“Of course. I’ll build you one this summer.” Mack nods.

“I know we have some time before then, but I’m hoping you’ll come home with me this summer. Maybe the end of June? Depending on how things go?” Mack offers to him. She’s been thinking about how much she wants to show him of home. She got to experience him in Iowa and she wants him to see her at home too. In her parents lake house where he can get to know her parents and Sophie better.

“Yes. Of course. If things end early here, we can go right away. We could spend a whole month there if you want.”

“Okay.” Mack nods, smiling into his chest. “I’ll take you to the cabin. Show you were I realized how much I wanted this with you.”

“I’d love that.” He acknowledges, squeezing her in tighter. 

It all sounds so easy, wrapped up naked in each other now. All the fear about how hard this could be or how it could not work out is gone. Instead, they’re communicating. They’re asking each other to lean in and sometimes compromise too. Both of them are so willing to do that now.

Because this is worth it. 

No matter where. No matter what.

Read more Mack and David here.

[cartoonsinthemorning]

OH MY GOOOODD I'm afraid I can't wait to comment on AO3, I have to gush right away. And it's hard as hell to write a coherent commentary, because this fic is so good it makes my head spin, but fuckit, we ball, I'm gonna do my best. I am AMAZED at the controlled chaos of this work. Stan and Ford as messy as fuck- their violent fights during sex make every sequence very unpredictable, super exciting and immersive. You feel their tension, their confusion, their blinding rage, wondering what will happen next, as lost as they are. BUT at the same time, you created a BEAUTIFUL and brilliantly coherent sequence: the story begins with Stanford fading in and out of consciousness- still lost in his world of anger, illusions, mistrust. But things gradually change. It's unnoticeable, almost, because Ford's desire seems fueled by his resentment only. But the more he clings to Stan's body, hears his voice, feels him around him, the more his minds open up. When Ford kisses Stan, I'd say it's the moment the spell of unreality and paranoia Ford is under, is breaking, thanks to Stan. And the final scene, when it's clear Stan's presence, all around Ford, is grounding him back to reality, it's when Ford is aware of it himself, fully. Jesus Christ, that ending where he's hopeful again. He's not alone anymore, Stan is there and together, they can do the unthinkable. WHAT I'm trying to say is: The hate-sex was explosive, searing hot, and the anger felt absolutely genuine, and yet, somehow, in a relatively short work, you managed to seamless frame it all in the most romantic, narratively satisfying structure imaginable. And. And. Knowing this GORGEOUS piece was, in part, inspired by my drawing, makes me so insanely happy, it's hard to wrap my mind around it. The fact you left the drawing intact, in your story, describing as it is- Stan falling asleep, with his socks still on, while Ford, wide awake, wide-eyed, contemplates what happened- is magical to me, and unbearably flattering. Thank you so much Trucky. Aaaahhhh fuck, I'm so emotional, I want to punch a wall OTL Btw, Anon, idk if you'll ever read this, but thank you so much too! I'm so happy my work inspired you, to the point you wrote your own expansion about it, and shared it with an author you love. That's very heartwarming to me. There's a myriad of specific lines and moments in this fic that deserve their own compliments and mentions, but for now I'll stop being insane, and save them for the comment section on AO3. Thank you again!! MWAH MWAH

I've been having crazy Stancest brain rot thinking about an AU where they don't have the portal incident and instead have crazy marathon hate sex instead (Inspired by some amazing art by @CoreArde on Twitter) and I thought it'd be fun to share that with you.

They start off arguing in the lab and then oops they're fucking on the lab floor, and they really should be thinking this through but nope now they're upstairs fucking on the kitchen table and okay maybe now they'll finally talk about it nah, they're fucking in Ford's bed now.

It starts off as rough hate sex getting out years of frustration, but by the time they make it to the kitchen its become insanely desperate and cloying because they missed each other, and their bodies fit so well together, and GOD how could they have not been doing this all time? They're going at it so long that they basically end up passed out in Ford's bed by the end, and Stan's not going to be sitting down for a while after this. He's probably just happy to be sleeping in a bed, but Ford is trying to figure out how he got so far from the initial plan.

Even better if the two of them have been harboring feelings for years and never acted on it, because they get the one-two punch of all the weight of their time apart and processing the fact that OH GOD I JUST FUCKED MY BROTHER (which of course they both wanted to do but still).

I have no idea what would happen after that, but both of them waking up sore, sweat soaked, sticky with cum (some still inside Stan because of course Ford didn't use a condom this wasn't supposed to happen) after having gone at each other like rabbits in heat despite never having expressed their attraction to each other before is a hilarious and hot idea to me. What do you think?

HI THERE ANON. i am so fucking sorry that i left you waiting for so long about this, but i need you to know it's because i was FUCKING OBSESSED with this. like just absolutely beside myself over it, and i refused to respond until i had a chance to sit down and respond PROPERLY.

cause uh YEAH FRIEND i know the exact fucking piece of art (explicit) you're talking about, because it's INCREDIBLE. and in case you didn't know, the artist is over here too and shares some fucking fantastic writing and headcanons also! (seriously, go check out @/cartoonsinthemorning if you haven't. and cart, i hope you don't mind that anon and i both kinda lost our minds about your art over here! i genuinely have no idea what tag etiquette is on this site and didn't wanna bombard you, but you did this. again.)

i'll be honest, anon, this kinda got away from me (fucking shocker) and i am too tired to do any legit editing of it right now, so please forgive any typos or weirdness! i'll try and clean it up before it eventually goes up on ao3. but thank you for such a LOVELY ask because this was so hot, and so inspiring, and i hope i did a little justice to your idea and cart's gorgeous art!

--- Ford isn't entirely sure how it had started. His memory, his perception of time, his ability to follow a linear order of events -- all if it is less than reliable at the moment, so he can't entirely blame himself for losing track of things here and there. But the jump between trying to wrestle his journal out of Stan's hands to trying to wrestle Stan out of his dingey jeans is a jarring transition to lose in the dull static that's been edging around his awareness for weeks now. 

Not jarring enough to stop him, though. 

He thinks, vaguely, while he's blindly tugging at Stan's denim, that there's a concerningly high likelihood that he's hallucinating. His head is swimming in so much caffeine and adrenaline that he doesn't even feel the rough concrete of the lab floor under his knees -- maybe that isn't where he is? Maybe he'd nodded off without realizing. Maybe he's going to come to with another lapful of polaroids and a new humiliating tattoo. 

Maybe, maybe, maybe -- he can reckon with a probability model later. For the first time in what feels like months, the stability of his perceived reality is not actually at the forefront of Ford's mind.

Pressing in on him harder than the doubt, harder than the disassociation from his physical body, and harder than the threat of the creature lingering in the depths of his subconscious is anger. It feels like a beacon in the muddled, fuzzy mess inside his head, something bright and real and his. It's searing through him, slicing away all the frayed edges of his paranoia and doubt like a hot blade through so much butter. 

Ford clings to the sharp edges of that anger and feels more alert than he has in weeks. 

He can't remember how their bickering had taken this particular turn, but if he's liable to lose his eyes and his life in the next few days, Ford will be fucking damned if he squanders the opportunity. He knows he's made a mess of things, that he's made the sorts of mistakes that can't and frankly shouldn't be forgiven. 

But he also knows with blinding, white hot certainty that he's only here, now, because of Stan's mistakes.

Ford may not deserve absolution, but he does deserves this. 

Laughter cuts through the lab, rough and mocking, and Ford's attention finally falls, properly, on Stan. He has a bruise blooming on his cheek and a snide smirk twisting his lips. He's also on his back, his jeans and a threadbare pair of boxers bunched in Ford's fists and pulled so low he can see the tight curls of his pubic hair and the root of his cock. 

"What's wrong, Poindexter?" Stan asks, mocking, and it's only then that Ford realizes he's paused halfway through stripping his twin's lower half. The bite of the cold concrete under his knees still feels far away, but the rough material in his palms, and the heat of Stan's body so close to him are sharp, clear details. "No hands on experience with a dick that ain't your own? Afraid you might actually be bad at somethin' for once?" 

Ford narrows his eyes, feeling the hot point of anger cutting through him, steadying him, and he jerks Stan's clothes hard enough that he gets the material past his knees in one tug. Stan laughs at him again, but it stutters into a little 'oof!' when Ford flips him onto his stomach. 

He doesn't care that Stan's pants are still caught around his calves and his boots. He doesn't care that Stan hisses something that sounds like pain when he's yanked onto his knees and dragged backwards several inches across the concrete. He doesn't even care that, once upon a time, he'd dreamed of this, of crossing this line with the only person he'd ever really loved in any way that mattered, and it's nothing like the softer, sweeter picture he used to imagine. 

Stan's hips are soft, and the skin gives easily under the iron grip Ford has on them, holding him in place as he grinds against his ass. Even through his slacks, the heat of Stan's body is intense, addictive, and he grinds forward again, harder, watching the friction rub a pink  patch against his skin. 

Stan, shameless and selfish as always, pushes eagerly back against him. Ford has barely done anything beyond rocking the outline of his cock against his hole, but he can hear Stan panting against the ground, can see his hands curling into fists. He remembers how many times Stan had called Carla McCorkle "easy" in high school and thinks, now, that the easy one had been his brother. 

"You gonna keep humpin' me, or are you gonna fuck me?" Stan demands, rocking as firmly back as he can with the bruising grip Ford has on him. 

"What makes you think you deserve that?" Ford bites out. It would serve Stan right, he thinks, if he got himself off exactly like this, no different than grinding against a particularly firm couch pillow. Just a conveniently warm object for Ford to release some tension with. 

Stan looks back over his shoulder and flashes teeth at him. It isn't a smile. "Oh, I get it. Cold feet? Well, we can just chalk it up to one more thing ya promised and then backed out of as soon as you actually had to make a choice. Good to know some things never change, Stanford."

He's being goaded, and Ford knows that. But the anger boils in his chest, and he thinks, why should he care about what Stan does or doesn't deserve from him? This is about what Ford deserves.

And what Ford deserves is to have his dick so far up Stan's ass he'll be able to feel it in the back of his throat. 

"Do you ever shut up?" he snaps while he releases one of Stan's hips to yank his slacks open. The bruise of his fingerprints already forming against Stan's skin thrills him, almost to distraction, if it weren't for Stan laughing again. 

"'Course not," he says, shifting his center of balance to dig into the pocket of his dirty red coat. The little packet he tosses over his shoulder bounces off his own ass to land by Ford's knee, the word LUBE printed in large, bold letters across the front. He should be surprised to see it, and part of him is. The word "easy" comes to mind again. 

Ford rips the packet open with his teeth. 

"F-Fuck!" Stan curses, turning his forehead against the ground when Ford presses his slick cock into him a moment later without warning. 

Ford grabs him roughly by the waist when he twitches forward and yanks Stan back until his ass hits the open fly of his slacks. He makes a choked sound at that and turns his face into the crook of his own arm when Ford pulls back and rocks hard back into him. 

"What's wrong, Stanley?" he parrots. He pistons his hips at a punishing pace, watching his cock pumping in and out of the greedy, grasping ring of Stan's hole. "Nothing to say?" 

Stan makes a noise that's too muffled by the sleeve of his coat to understand, so Ford reaches down to take a fistful of his stupid mullet instead. The hitching gasp that escapes his twin when his head is forcefully jerked up makes him groan. "What was that? Come on, Stanley, use your words." 

"F-Fuck off," Stan says, his voice strained, almost whining. 

"I see you haven't gotten anymore eloquent since you left," Ford scoffs around the breathlessness in his own voice, feeling the anger and pleasure coiling harder in his gut. "What was it you said? Good to know some things never change." 

When he pulls Stan's hair again, just because he can, Stan moans. And when he shifts his hips, driving in just as hard at the new angle, Stan shouts. With his own knees bracketed on either side of his, Ford can feel the way his thighs tremble when he clenches around his cock, and he can feel the sweat beading up under his palm where he's digging darker bruises into Stan's side. 

Ford feels like he's on the edge of delirium again, consumed by every sound Stan makes, every twitch of his hips, every ounce of his heat. He thinks, a bit wildly, that Stan may have been made for this, made to take his cock, for how well he does. 

It isn't until Stan jerks under him, going hot and tight around his cock and making a strangled noise in the back of his throat, that Ford realizes he may have said part of that out loud. That Stan came over it. 

He groans low in his throat and thrusts half a dozen more times into Stan's clenching hole before he comes as well. 

It's quiet for a few minutes other than their ragged panting, but it's Stan who eventually reaches back and swats at Ford's hand until he lets go of his hair. He takes the hint and pulls out, watching with no small amount of satisfaction as his come trickles down Stan's thighs. It strikes him suddenly that he wants to follow the wet trail back up with his tongue. It's enough to make his cock give a feeble, appreciative twitch. 

He isn't sure if he's just terribly distracted or if he loses time again, because when Ford next lifts his head, Stan is on his feet, pants pulled up around his waist but still open, and he has his journal in hand. This might be more jarring than the last transition he'd lost. 

"What are you doing?" he demands, shoving himself back onto his own feet. He doesn't bother to tuck his cock back in, and he spots the moment Stan's eyes flick down. It's brief, but he'd seen it. 

"What does it fucking look like I'm doing? I'm taking your stupid diary and disappearing like you begged me to," Stan says. His voice is still a little raw, and Ford has a moment to realize how much he likes that, before the words catch up. 

He scoffs. "Oh! So now you want to actually help?! Is it always this easy to fuck the sense into you?" 

Stan's expression does a few things Ford doesn't understand before his brows ultimately slam down and he turns his back, storming towards the door with Ford's journal still in hand, and Ford himself hot on his heels. "You're fucking unbelievable, Stanford, you know that?!" 

"Me?! You're the one who came all over my lab floor and then decided he was ready to be reasonable!" 

Stan jams his thumb against the call button for the elevator several times in quick succession, despite the car already being on their floor and the gate sliding open. "Most people would just say thank you when someone agreed to help them out, but not you! What does Stanford Pines have to be grateful for? We're all just fucking lucky to get a task from ya, huh?" 

Ford crowds into the elevator with him before Stan can try to pull the gate or call the doors shut behind him. He punches the button to take them up himself, before making a grab for the journal, snarling when Stan leans back and holds it up above his head. 

"You're the one who threatened to destroy my work twenty minutes ago, Stanley! Why would I trust you with it now? Hell, I can't figure out why I trusted you enough to bring you here in the first place!" 

"Oh really? You can't?" Stan sneers, leaning in close. And when Ford takes a step back, Stan follows, backing him into a corner of the car. "I don't think you fuckin' trusted me to do shit, Stanford. I think you were all outta options cause nobody else could stand to put up with you anymore." 

Stan doesn't so much as hit a nerve as he takes a sledgehammer to it, and as soon as the elevator dings, Ford shoves him as hard as he can out into the study. Stan yelps when he stumbles, nearly tripping over his own feet, and it's only knocking into a cluttered desk that keeps him from falling on his ass. 

Ford doesn't give him any time to right himself, storming in after him and grabbing him by the front of his jacket. Stan flinches, like he'ex expecting a punch, but Ford yanks him in and crushes his mouth against his instead. 

There's a dull thump that Ford only realizes was the journal being dropped when he feels both of Stan's hands on his shoulders. They curl briefly, grasping at him, and Ford feels his mouth starting to go soft and slack. But as soon as he presses in, runs his tongue along that loosening seam, he's suddenly being shoved backwards. 

If he weren't so damn confused, Ford would probably appreciate the picture Stan makes, lips slick and pants open, leaning back against one of Ford's desks. 

"What are you doing?!" Stan demands, like he's the one who doesn't know what day it is, and keeps losing track of events. 

"I would think even you could figure that out after what happened downstairs, Stanley."

Stan flushes, visible even in the low light of the study, though Ford isn't sure if it's embarrassment or anger. The scowl on his face doesn't help clear things up, either, though the fact that he isn't actually looking at Ford is...telling.  

"That ain't happening again," Stan states, and there isn't anything convincing about the way he says it at all. But when Ford steps forward, Stan sidesteps him and the desk. He makes a wrong turn in the dark, in a house he isn't familiar with, and flinches when Ford flips on the light in the kitchen he's walked into.

"I don't know how you expect to leave and hide my journal after leaving it in the study," he points out, frowning at the back of Stan's head. 

He isn't surprised when Stan whirls on him. He is, however, stunned still when he realizes Stan's eyes are wet. 

"What the fuck do you want from me, Stanford?!" Stan shouts, his voice cracking over his name, and it makes something feel like it's cracking inside his chest. 

Ford has to wet his lips when he finds them and his throat dry. "...I told you what I wanted," he says.

"Yeah, you did! And when I finally agreed to do it, you threw a fucking fit about it! And now you're pissy because I'm not?! What do you want?" 

The anger sparks sharply inside him again, and Ford grasps at it like a lifeline, willing to bloody his hands for that bite of stability. 

"You tried to burn it! My life's work! And you only decided you would help me after we--"

Stan cuts him off, looking towards the cabinets while he raises his voice and waves his hands. "Jesus Christ, I'm sorry about the fucking lighter, all right?!"

Ford frowns. He takes a step forward and, still without looking at him, Stan takes a step back. It's the elevator all over again, but this time Ford is pressing in, backing Stan into the cabinets. He grabs the counter on either side of his hips when he tries to side step him again. 

"Stanley, look at me," he demands, frowning harder when Stan sets his jaw and stars determinedly at his shoulder. "Stanley--"

"What do you want, Ford? Just...just fucking tell me and I'll leave, all right?" Stan says, his voice tired and soft as he reaches up to rub a hand over his own face.

He wants a lot, honestly. And hasn't that always been the problem? He's always wanted -- to be normal, to be respected, to be the best, to be special. 

To be wanted. 

To be enough.

To fix things. 

"You," he realizes, watching Stan jerk his head up. His lashes are still wet, and Ford can't stop himself from reaching up and pressing his palm to Stan's cheek, skimming his thumb gently under one of his eyes. 

When he leans in to kiss him again, Stan makes a small, wounded little noise under his mouth, but he parts his lips for Ford's tongue this time. Stan's lips are chapped and he tastes vaguely of stale cigarettes, but Ford is still struck by how soft and sweet he is. 

More than anything else that had happened that evening, this is the moment that Ford knows he should suspect most of all. The way Stan relaxes between him and the counter, the almost tentative way he lifts his tongue to meet his, the careful fingertips touching the edge of Ford's coat and brushing against his loose tie. It's tender in a way Ford didn't think either of them were capable of, and it should be setting off warning bells and red flags in every part of his mind. 

It isn't. 

Ford is more certain of  the reality of this single moment, the gentle slip of Stan's lips against his own, than he's been of anything in a long time. 

And then Stan sighs between them and murmurs, warm and hopeful, "Ford," against his lips, and he's done for. 

It doesn't matter that they just fucked, that Ford's come is probably still drying between Stan's thighs -- he can't keep his hands off of him. Ford is suddenly frantic and desperate in a way that he hadn't been downstairs. He needs to relearn the new, wider shape of Stan's shoulders and pecs. He needs to feel out every new scar and take stock of all the old ones he remembers Stan collecting for him as kids. He needs to be surrounded by him again, soaking in the warmth of him. 

Ford doesn't deserve absolution, but he thinks he may be able to find something close to it in the low, shaky way Stan moans his name. 

And there's familiarity in the way Stan grabs at him in turn, tugging at his jacket and tie and surging into another, harder kiss. Ford thinks he may not be the only one looking for expiation. 

Then Stan drops to his knees between him and the cabinet, and Ford stops thinking so much. His cock is still out, and Stan wastes no time in getting his fist around the shaft and his lips around the head. He suckles and swirls his tongue, and Ford shoves the beanie off of his head to get his hands in his hair. 

"Stanley," he gasps, stroking his fingers along his scalp and fisting the strands between them. 

Stan moans around him and shuffles closer, sliding the seal of his lips further down the length of Ford's cock. All he can do is groan and try to keep from rocking his hips as more of him is greeted by the warmth of his mouth and the wickedness of his tongue. 

He keeps waiting for Stan to reach his limit, to back off and give himself room to breathe. He doesn't. He keeps leaning in, keeps taking him, and then Ford feels his cockhead slip into Stan's throat, sees his lashes are wet again, and he has to put one hand on the counter to keep himself steady. "Fuck, Stanley, you're so good at this."

Stan makes a horribly sweet sound around the girth of Ford's cock and reaches up to hold his hips as he swallows, and Ford is suddenly afraid he's going to embarass himself.  His hips twitch despite his best efforts to keep them still, but Stan simply relaxes his jaw and his throat and tugs a little to encourage him to do it again. He does, of course, how could he not? 

Despite the heat clawing its way through him and the pleasure mounting dangerously high, Ford almost feels outside of himself again. The picture Stan makes, with his eyes damp and heavy lidded, his lips wet and stretched around Ford's cock, his hair fisted in Ford's fingers and his own clinging to Ford's hips -- it's lewd, debauched, and so horribly sweet that it makes Ford's chest hurt. 

Stan gasps raggedly when Ford pulls him off. "I was go-gonna...I mean you can--"

Ford kneels down to kiss him, tasting stale cigarettes and himself, cock throbbing over the rough state of Stan's voice. "Not done yet," he manages, before tugging Stan onto his feet. 

They lose clothes and time on the journey upstairs, tripping over the steps and Ford's discarded pants, and stumbling into his wreck of a room. If Stan notices the state of things, he doesn't comment, mouth latched onto Ford's shoulder and hands all over his back and hips. 

The back of Ford's legs hit the bed and he sits hard on the mattress. Stan doesn't hesitate to crawl up into his lap. He'd lost his boots in the kitchen and his jeans and boxers somewhere on the way to the stairs, giving him ample opportunity to rub his bare cock against Ford's. 

Cursing, Ford rolls his hips and only belatedly remembers to reach up and tug the hideous red coat off of Stan's shoulders. 

"Oh, fuck, hold on. I think I have another one," Stan says, panting softly as he digs into the pockets of his coat. Ford takes the opportunity to run his hands across Stan's thighs and ass, squeezing whatever skin he can until Stan makes a triumphant sound and pulls another little packet of lube free. 

Only then does he let Ford toss his jacket aside and tug him further up the bed with him. He doesn't protest when Ford takes the packet from him, lowering his head to work open mouth kisses up Ford's throat instead, and he rolls his hips distractingly while Ford fights to get the damnable thing open. He ignores the snickering against his skin in the process. 

It stops anyway, hitching into something warm and startled when Ford sinks two slick fingers into him. 

"Oh, fuck," Stan breaths, reaching up to grab Ford by the shoulder, holding himself steady. "Y-You know you don't have to do that, right? Pretty loosened up already."

He is, to be fair. His hole is still soft and loose and fucked open. But Ford enjoys petting his fingers against the tender muscle and stroking them inside anyway. He likes watching Stan bite his lip and push himself back onto his hand. When he slides a third in after the first two, Stan's thighs tremble on either side of his own, and he makes a low, throaty sound. 

When Ford curls his fingers just right, Stan yells and grips his shoulder hard enough to hurt, and it makes warm satisfaction curl in his middle. So he does it a few more times, alternating between spreading his fingers and rubbing the tips against Stan's prostate until he's squirming in his lap. 

"I-I'm gonna come if you don't knock that sh-shit off," he gasps, slumping a bit when Ford chuckles and slides his fingers out. 

"I think I'd like that," Ford says, squeezing his slick fingers against Stan's thigh. 

He snorts and straightens back up, finding the discarded lube packet to squirt the remainder onto Ford's cock. "Yeah, I bet you fucking would," Stan agrees, but there's no malice in his voice, just warm amusement. 

His fist is warm and wonderful when it curls around Ford's cock, spreading lube, and then Ford is being held steady, Stan adjusts himself on his scuffed knees, and there's nothing else to do but hold on as Stan lowers himself into his lap. 

It feels as good as it had earlier to be inside of him, and Ford squeezes the thigh under his hand tightly, fighting against the need to buck his hips. Stan is panting softly, his head tilted back and a pretty, pink color is crawling up from under his t-shirt to flood his neck and face. 

Ford groans and leans forward, finding a nipple through his thin shirt to get his teeth and tongue against.

"F-Ford!" Stan gasps, fumbling the hand not clawing at his shoulder up into his hair, and Ford sucks hard on the firm nub,  rubbing spit-soaked cotton against it with his tongue until Stan rocks in his lap. 

Fuck, he likes that, the way his name sounds in Stan's voice, especially warm and rough after fucking his throat earlier. 

He squeezes Stan's thigh and his hip, giving him a little tug, and that's all the encouragement Stan needs before he's bouncing on his cock. Ford has that thought again -- that Stan was meant to be filled by him, that they're a perfectly matched set. But it isn't just feeling good and hot while Stan fucks himself in his lap. It's feeling like he's been missing something and he finally has it, like he's finally complete again. 

He's missed this, Ford realizes. 

Not the fucking his brother part. He'd fantasized about that for years but it still feels like a dream that it's happening, like something that's too good to be true. 

But being able to put his arms around him? To be this close to him again? 

Ford rocks his hips up, hard, and Stan says his name. He wraps his fingers around Stan's cock, and he gasps his name. He bites the same swollen, pink nipple through his shirt, and Stan shouts his name. 

He snaps his hips up to meet him a few more times and rubs the sensitive glans under the head of Stan's cock, and then there are teeth digging into his other shoulder and his fist and stomach are being striped in Stan's come while he shudders and jerks overtop of him. 

Stan goes easily when Ford rolls them over and pins one of his wrists to the bed. And despite the way he squirms and how his spent cock twitches and leaks, blatantly overstimulated, he hooks his ankles behind Ford's back and urges him on. 

"C-C'mon, give it to me. Fuck, just like that, Sixer!" 

The nickname hits him with all the subtlety of a truck and all the heat of a volcanic eruption. 

He doesn't even remember coming so much as he remembers every synapses in his brain trying to fire at once. Coming back down to reality is a little clearer, with his head spinning and pulse racing as he flops onto his back, but it still takes several long minutes before he feels fully cognizant again. 

Something makes the bed shift, and he looks over to see that Stan has rolled onto his stomach. Ford wonders if he looks half as fucked out as Stan does, with bruises blossoming across his body, his shirt rucked halfway up his stomach, and come staining his ass and thighs. Ford realizes Stan still has his socks on, and he can't figure out why that makes something twinge, hot but exhausted and halfhearted, in his gut. 

"Gonna...gonna get up in a minute," Stan says, his voice slurring and his eyes already closed. Ford watches him rub his cheek against one of Ford's pillows, and the soft sound of snoring follows soon after. 

The reality of the situation starts to settle in shortly after that, and Ford stares wide eyed up at the ceiling as if he'll find some sort of answers there. Unsurprisingly, there are no secrets etched overhead for how to reckon with the fact that he had just fucked his brother, twice, while the fate of the world was still very much hanging in the balance between his fraying sanity and Bill's looming threat. 

".....Fuck," Ford murmurs.

When the adrenaline finishes seeping out of his system, Ford expects to crash. The exhaustion certainly climbs back into his bones, but he's surprised to find himself still clear headed. Focused. 

The sound of Stan sleeping soundly beside him is as soothing as it is mocking, but he doesn't want to separate himself from it even though he knows he needs to get up. There's soft, gray light starting to creep in through the windows, and distant birdsong calling for the start of the day. He needs to readjust, to come up with a new plan, find some way to explain to Stan what's going on so they can buy themselves a little more time. 

Against all odds and his better judgment, there's a tiny, optimistic voice in the back of his head reminding him that there's strength in numbers. He isn't surprised that it sounds like Stan.

[artbymyth]

“Everything in him recoiled. The water was cold against his legs. His body had gone numb and yet he could still feel the wet give of his brother’s rotting flesh beneath his hands. It’s shame that eats men whole. He was drowning in it. He was drowning in the Ketterdam harbor.”

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2