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advancedcentreforeyes · 4 months ago

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Non-Surgical Treatment vs. Glaucoma Surgery: Which Path Should You Take?

Glaucoma is a condition that affects the eyes and can lead to vision problems if not treated on time. It happens when there is too much pressure inside the eye, damaging the optic nerve, which sends signals from your eyes to your brain. Glaucoma is often called the "silent thief of sight" because it can slowly damage your vision without you even noticing. But don't worry! There are ways to treat glaucoma. Some treatments don’t require surgery, while others involve surgery to help manage the problem. So, let’s learn about the two main options: non-surgical treatments and surgery for glaucoma.

Understanding Glaucoma: Why Is It Important?

Glaucoma is a serious eye disease that can lead to blindness if left untreated. It usually happens because the fluid in your eye doesn’t drain properly, which increases the pressure inside the eye. This high pressure can harm the optic nerve over time. Many people don't feel pain or notice changes in their sight until the damage is quite severe.

That's why regular eye checkups at an eye hospital in Ludhiana are important, especially if glaucoma runs in your family. Early diagnosis can help prevent further damage and save your eyesight. The Glaucoma hospital Ludhiana offers both non-surgical treatments and surgical options for patients based on the severity of their condition.

Non-Surgical Treatments: Managing Glaucoma Without Surgery

For many people with glaucoma, non-surgical treatments can be a good option. These treatments aim to lower the pressure inside the eye and prevent further damage to the optic nerve.

1. Eye Drops

One of the most common ways to treat glaucoma without surgery is with eye drops. These special drops help lower eye pressure by reducing the amount of fluid produced in the eye or by helping the eye drain the fluid more efficiently. Eye drops are usually the first treatment option recommended by doctors at an eye hospital in Ludhiana.

Pros: Eye drops are easy to use and can be applied at home. They are painless and work well for many people.

Cons: You need to use them every day, sometimes even multiple times a day. Some people may experience side effects like redness, stinging, or blurry vision.

2. Oral Medications

If eye drops don’t lower the eye pressure enough, doctors may also prescribe oral medications. These pills work by reducing the amount of fluid produced in the eye. However, they are usually used in combination with eye drops for better results.

Pros: Oral medications can be very effective in reducing eye pressure.

Cons: Some people may have side effects like frequent urination, nausea, or tingling in the fingers and toes.

3. Laser Therapy

Laser therapy is a non-surgical option that helps improve the drainage of fluid from the eye. It’s a quick procedure done at the Glaucoma Hospital Ludhiana and is often used when eye drops or oral medications aren't enough to control the pressure.

Pros: Laser therapy is painless and can be done in a short amount of time. It also helps reduce the need for daily eye drops.

Cons: The effects of laser therapy may not last forever. Some patients may need to repeat the procedure or eventually move on to surgery if the pressure rises again.

Glaucoma Surgery: A Closer Look

If non-surgical treatments aren’t enough to control the eye pressure, doctors might recommend surgery. Surgery can provide a more long-lasting solution to prevent damage to the optic nerve.

1. Trabeculectomy

Trabeculectomy is one of the most common surgeries for glaucoma. In this surgery, a small opening is created in the eye to allow the fluid to drain out, reducing the pressure inside the eye. This is done at a trusted eye hospital in Ludhiana by skilled doctors.

Pros: Trabeculectomy is very effective in lowering eye pressure and can reduce the need for eye drops.

Cons: Like all surgeries, there are risks, including infection or excessive bleeding. Recovery time can also take several weeks.

2. Drainage Implants

Another surgical option is to place a tiny drainage device in the eye. This device helps to create a new pathway for the fluid to leave the eye, reducing the pressure. This surgery is often performed at the Glaucoma hospital Ludhiana for patients who need more than just medications or laser treatments.

Pros: The implants can work for a long time and may reduce the need for further surgeries.

Cons: There can be side effects like discomfort or a risk of infection, and in some cases, the implant may stop working over time.

3. Minimally Invasive Glaucoma Surgery (MIGS)

MIGS is a newer type of surgery that uses tiny instruments to create small changes inside the eye to help with fluid drainage. It’s less invasive than traditional surgeries and can be a good option for those in the early stages of glaucoma.

Pros: MIGS has fewer risks and a shorter recovery time compared to other surgeries. It’s also usually done alongside cataract surgery.

Cons: While safer, MIGS may not lower the eye pressure as much as more traditional surgeries, so it might not be suitable for everyone.

Deciding Between Non-Surgical Treatments and Surgery

Choosing between non-surgical treatments and surgery can be a difficult decision. Here are a few factors to consider when deciding which path is best for you:

1. Stage of Glaucoma

In the early stages of glaucoma, non-surgical treatments like eye drops and laser therapy may be enough to manage the condition. However, if glaucoma is in a more advanced stage, surgery may be necessary to protect your vision.

2. Effectiveness of Non-Surgical Treatments

If non-surgical options are working well and keeping your eye pressure under control, there may not be a need for surgery. But if eye drops, oral medications, or laser therapy aren’t doing enough, it may be time to consider surgery.

3. Doctor’s Recommendation

Your eye doctor at the Glaucoma Hospital Ludhiana will assess your condition and suggest the best course of action. Doctors will always try non-surgical treatments first if they think it will help. But they will recommend surgery if they feel it’s the best way to protect your vision.

4. Personal Preference

Some people may feel more comfortable trying non-surgical options because they are less invasive. Others may prefer the long-lasting effects of surgery, even though it involves more risks. It’s important to discuss all options with your doctor to find the treatment plan that suits you best.

Benefits of Regular Checkups

Whether you go for non-surgical treatments or decide to have surgery, regular eye checkups are very important. Glaucoma can worsen over time, so keeping an eye on your condition can help prevent further damage. Visit your eye hospital in Ludhiana regularly to monitor your eye pressure and ensure your treatments are working as they should.

Prevention: Protecting Your Eyes

Although glaucoma cannot be completely prevented, there are steps you can take to protect your eyes and lower your risk of developing serious problems:

Regular Eye Exams: Go for regular eye exams, especially if glaucoma runs in your family.

Healthy Lifestyle: Eating a healthy diet and exercising can improve blood flow to your eyes.

Eye Protection: Wear protective eyewear when playing sports or doing activities that could harm your eyes.

Manage Other Health Issues: Conditions like diabetes and high blood pressure can increase your risk of glaucoma, so it’s important to manage them with the help of your doctor.

Conclusion: Which Path Should You Take?

Deciding between non-surgical treatments and surgery for glaucoma can seem like a tough choice. Non-surgical treatments like eye drops, oral medications, and laser therapy can be very effective, especially in the early stages. But if these treatments aren’t enough, surgery might be the best option to protect your vision in the long run.

The doctors at the Glaucoma hospital Ludhiana are experts in helping patients make the right decision based on their individual needs. No matter which path you choose, the most important thing is to take care of your eyes and seek regular medical advice to ensure the best possible outcome for your vision. By understanding your options and working closely with your doctor at an eye hospital in Ludhiana, you can find the treatment that’s right for you and keep your eyes healthy for years to come.

#eye hospital in Ludhiana #Glaucoma hospital Ludhiana

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aestivaclinic · 2 years ago

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Four Facts to Know About Lip Augmentation

Having lips that are supple, soft, and instantly renewed can be very alluring. There is a high demand for plump, fuller lips that give one the perfect pout. By adding youthfulness and definition to the lips, lip augmentation aims to give them a more youthful and natural appearance. Lip fillers provide additional advantages besides just giving lips a plumped-up or fuller appearance, like assisting in reversing the volume loss that can naturally occur with age.

This blog is based on the insights shared by a renowned plastic surgeon, Dr. Mrinalini Sharma, known for providing the best Lip augmentation surgery in Delhi. This blog will shed light on the important facts of lip augmentation.

Here are 4 facts that one should know about lip augmentation surgery:

Consulting a Skilled Surgeon

A cosmetic or a plastic surgeon must be consulted in order to achieve the desired size and shape of lips. One can consult at a renowned clinic, one like Aestiva Clinic is a widely recognized facility for plastic and cosmetic surgery. Dr. Mrinalini Sharma has delivered many successful lip augmentation results to her patients. With her knowledge and experience, she can help people who were born with thin lips or whose lips have thinned and wrinkled with age achieve and restore smooth and voluminous lips.

No Surgery is Necessary for Lip Enhancement

The lips can be given more volume with a lip enhancement or lip augmentation, whether they are thinning due to aging or have never been as full as one would like them to be. Lip augmentation, unlike other facial procedures, can often be completely nonsurgical. Although surgical implant implantation is an option, many patients choose the nonsurgical route of injectable fillers. There is no need for general anesthesia, there is no incision, and there is little to no downtime. Additionally, the entire process takes between 15 and 30 minutes. Lip augmentation is a common option for women of all ages due to its nonsurgical advantages.

The Effects of Fillers for Lip Enhancement are Not Permanent

Being a non-surgical procedure, lip enhancements don't last forever. One might feel the need to get a booster of fillers because the body gradually breaks down dermal fillers over time. The majority of dermal filler results will last for a number of months, usually 3 to 6 on the lower scale and over a year on the higher scale. The injectable filler that the patient's surgeon uses and how their body processes it will determine how long their plumped lips will last.

Lip Enhancement Delivers Fast Results

The procedure for lip augmentation also has the enormous advantage of making changes noticeable almost immediately. Even though some patients do experience some itchiness or irritation close to the injection site, this is extremely normal and typically goes away by itself in a few days. Dermal fillers for lip enhancement do not require a lengthy recovery period or period of rest; however, some minor lip swelling is normal for the first couple of days. One should see a difference right away, even though it might take a week to ten days before they see the full results of their treatment.

Want to get fuller, plumper lips? Book an appointment with the leading plastic surgeon, Dr. Mrinalini Sharma at the Aestiva Clinic today!

#Lip Augmentation Surgery in delhi

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meridiamedical · 2 years ago

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Labia Reduction Surgery In Canada- Healing Time And Other Viewpoint

Labia Reduction Surgery in Canada is basically a medical process to eliminate excess labia minora. It is performed primarily for two different reasons such as the look of the labia minora and preventing potential health issues. No matter what is the reason, women are happy with this advanced process although it is a personal choice.

healing And Viewpoint Of Labia Reduction Surgery in Canada- Questions To Be Answered-

Is The Recovery Painful?

Although you may experience some level of swelling and pain, don’t bother. They are common signs and many women face it, but it can be easy to deal with some prescribed medication. It is important to consult your doctor if your pain is uncontrollable or you are not feeling easy with those medications.

There are such other remedies you can apply too, for example, an ice pack to that particular area of surgery to lessen pain and swelling. Usually, most women experience mild pain for some days after the surgery, but it doesn’t need to worry about. Also, you can take some prescribed medication to prevent infection. Don’t use any tight-fitting clothes and undergarments during the recovery time that may delay recovery.

When Will the Results Be Visible?

When it comes to the early bulge, tenderness and impermanent discoloration, they will fade away within a few weeks. However, swelling may take four to six weeks to be entirely recovered. To clean that area, you can use warm water slowly. But do not rub the surgical area. You can consult your doctor for better and safe medications to prevent breaking the stitches.

When I Can Do Different Physical Activity?

Once the Best Labiaplasty Procedure in Canada is done, you can get back to your work after a few days. However, it is suggested to keep away from strenuous physical activities for 4 to 6 weeks such as exercise, cycling, running, sexual activity, etc. Remember all these activities will not delay the recovery but put pressure on your wound as well.

How Many Days Will Labiaplasty’s Results Last?

Labiaplasty surgery is a one-time surgery, but it lasts forever. However, you should avoid any sort of complications. Else, you may undergo this surgery again.

The most vital factor is to Find Labiaplasty Doctors in Canada which can be overwhelming as you will uncover various clinics. Choosing the best clinic and doctor will make a difference and ensure the best results at the end of the day.

For Labia Reduction Surgery in Canada, visit

www.meridiamedical.com.

#Labiaplasty Procedure in Canada

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depress-ed-me · 2 years ago

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My doggo has been given his marching orders once again. This time, he really is ready to go. Last year we were told that he had cancer on his liver and that a $12k surgery would give them more of an idea how sick he was. Invasive surgery, with no guarantees and a long, painful recovery. I opted out, and took him home thinking he has days, weeks to live. 8 months later, more bad news.

On top of all the liver issues, arthritis etc, he has developed diabetes caused by long term use of the Pred which has been keeping him alive. Because his liver and also pancreas are already affected and the fact that getting diabetes under control can be a long process, we’re told it’s better to do it before he gets really sick. He’s still got life in him so this is making it so, so hard.

My little friend has been poorly for a few days leading up to the appointment, but he’s been so strong and I asked him to give me a sign. I desperately wanted him to just keep kicking on forever. He raised his little leg and urinated on the laundry door in front of me.

I took it as a sign.

This little dog was taken in from a rescue shelter by my mum 12 years ago, to be her companion in retirement. He loved her so. He didn’t like me very much at all. I wasn’t ready for a new dog. My beloved 16yr old Pom has only left me a little over a year ago. He knew that.

Coop didn’t like strangers in the house either. He would keep a very, very close eye on anyone who came thru the door. If he could bite them, he would. Often accepting a pat, and a treat and then grabbing them on the ankle under the table first chance he got. This proved difficult when mum had medical people over.

When mum got really sick, he was her constant. He kept her company, gave her love and I really believe gave her strength to fight. She didn’t rescue him. He rescued her. He made it difficult for me to care for her, because if I went near her bed he would immediately go into guard dog mode and growl and snarl like I was about to do something to hurt mum.

He was my rock when she passed. I would not have done so well if I didn’t have this little dog. It took a little while for him to fully trust me. He would still go for my ankle if I did anything he didn’t like. The dining room table where mum had sat at when she was recovering from Radiotherapy was out of bounds. I’d often forget and go to put my bag on it. Coop let me know that it was wrong with a little nip on the ankle.

We made friends slowly over the next few years. Coop even slept in my room next to my bed and gave me affectionate cuddles.

2020 lockdown. I don’t know how long I was confined to my house over the next 2 years, but this little dog saved me from going absolutely batshit crazy. If I didn’t have his company, I honestly have no idea how I would have survived. He gave me reason to get up in the morning and kept me entertained during the day. Having someone to talk to and cry to probably saved my life. We formed a strong bond in those long months and I think he loves me almost as much (not quite) as he loved my mum.

I have never lived alone before. I don’t know how to be completely in my own company. It is going to be a long long time before I will think of getting a new companion.

Coop is asleep on the floor next to me right now. He’s uncomfortable and I’ve been told he will decline quite rapidly in the next few days and that I needed to make the decision to say goodbye. Looking at the way he jumps up to get some treats and obediently runs outside with me and a handful of kibble every hour or so he remembers to wee outside (he forgets he needs to wee more often and has been having accidents in the house) he’s learnt that new routine very quickly. He wasn’t always motivated by food. But if it gives him reason to fight for a little longer he can have all the treats in the world.

I have to make the decision in the next few days.

I really, really don’t want to. But I know it’s for the best.

#Ilovemydog

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indigo-a-creeping · 2 years ago

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I harken back to another Alex, in that I think I’ll never be satisfied.

Work is good. I’ll be eligible for insurance in November, and got that set up already. It’s not stressful. People are nice and interesting and fun. There’s so much free food and interesting new things, which I always appreciate. I’ll be eligible for twice yearly raises next year.

...But I’m not really... making a difference? I’m not doing anything really important? Sometimes I am, in little personal ways, which I really like. I have good conversations with people now and then. A lady told me she’d just lost her home and probably shouldn’t be buying nice food, and I told her she still deserved good food, and she was deeply touched. I give people stickers and talk about food and animals and travel with them, and make them happy for a minute. I feel like it’s not enough, though. And I don’t think that’s fair, but here we are.

I don’t think I’ll stay there forever because I can’t stand doing anything for too long (which is its own issue), but I do think I should stay for a while, as long as it’s pretty good. My bosses are great and it’s a good work environment.

Now that I’m going to be insured again I could look into top surgery, which I’ve been considering for a couple years now. I’ll need to save up some time off for recovery, though. ...And I also want to start traveling regularly again. I want to get a new fence around my yard so I can let the chickens out regularly. I want to get a Nintendo Switch Lite. I want to get a bike and ride the trails nearby. I want to downsize my bed and the bed in my guest room, because they’re too big for the space, but I can’t find anyone to buy them.

I haven’t seen my local friends in a while, and I miss them.

Also, Peri’s bloodwork has been getting concerning and the vet found a mass on his spleen last month. She’ll recheck it next week, and we’ll see if it’s changed at all. Splenic masses tend to bleed a lot, unsurprisingly. He’s been super excited about the cooler weather (he wasn’t made for Florida heat), but he’s also been eating a lot less lately, and that makes him lethargic aside from short bursts of energy. I guess we’ll see how it goes, and I’ll do what’s best for him.

Today I made a hot and sour soup with lots of mushrooms, I'm drinking a new vanilla spice tea I got, and I'm making apple cider in the crockpot.

I’m not satisfied, but there are still good things in life.

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

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Guardian Angel ~MYG [Request]

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

GENRE: angst, fluffy ending, Helping Yoongi after his surgery, him finally appreciating your relationship together

PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

A/N: I hope this is okay for you my love!

"Do you have any idea how irritating you are?!" Yoongi cried out as he threw his good arm back to make you let go of him. You sighed at him as you held the jacket in your hand, staring at him as you waited for him to get over his small temper tantrum and let you finish dressing him.

"Going out for a walk was your idea, I'm just trying to help-"

"I don't fucking need your help!" He yelled as he stared at you, his face red with anger as he shook his head at you. Mumbling something to himself as he tried to pull the jacket from your hands but you weren't going to let go of it.

"Yoongi you're supposed to be taking it easy, let me help you," You knew he felt bad about having to rely on you and the boys for things so you weren't going to hold the yelling against him. You stepped forward to help but this only seemed to anger him more as he stepped away from you and began yelling all over again. Raising his voice so loud that you were sure the neighbours were going to call your landlord again to complain.

"You have no fucking idea, do you?! Do you know how useless I fucking feel! Having to get my girlfriend to run around for me like I'm so stupid I can't dress myself?!" This time when he threw his arm back in frustration he knocked over a vase of flowers, the glass smashing onto the floor as he stormed away from you.

"I'm just trying-"

"Well don't! Stop trying! I'm sick of you breathing down my neck! Everywhere I turn you're there and it's too much!" He continued to yell out insults as you cleaned up the glass from the floor, sweeping it all up into the dustpan as you tried to get every last piece.

"Watch where you're stepping, you could cut your foot." You told him as you guided him out of the way,

"See! There you go again! Treating me like I'm a baby!" He yelled out in frustration, glaring down at you as he shook his head.

"You're everywhere I turn! Why are you even here?! Why aren't you at work?!" You ignored him as you swept up more of the glass, letting him get on with whatever it was he was saying to you. Trying to drown it out since you knew he didn't mean any of it.

"So fucking annoying," As soon as the last one left his mouth you picked up the broken glass and headed into the kitchen, slamming the door so you didn't have to listen to him anymore. Breaking down as soon as you sat down on the floor beside the bin. All you'd been trying to do these last few months was make sure he could have the best healing time. The doctors and boys were counting on you, wanting you to make sure that Yoongi healed nicely and he was throwing it back in your face.

"He's going to be fine Y/n," Namjoon reassured you as you watched Yoongi being wheeled into his hospital room. He'd just come back up from the surgery on his shoulder and he was still out from the medication that they'd given to him. The boys were all waiting with you from the moment that Yoongi went down, none of them wanted you or Yoongi to be alone while he went through this. It was only a small surgery but something that could drastically change his career if it went wrong so the boys were all waiting for answers.

"You'll look after him right, Noona?" Jungkook asked as he looked over at you, you looked to Namjoon who was already waiting for you to answer the maknae.

"Of course, I've taken some time off work so I can help with him," You'd already spoken to Namjoon. He thought it was the better option since all of the boys were going to be busy during the healing period.

"I'll be right there with him," You whispered, looking over at Yoongi in his room ready to go into him when his doctor began to walk towards you and the boys.

"The surgery went perfectly, he'll be fine as long as he rests it. He's going to need a lot of time off to heal. Someone will need to be there every step he takes," His doctor told you as he walked down to you and Namjoon, you were the ones down as Yoongi's emergency contacts on all his forms.

"I'd expect you'll be looking after him?" You nodded at the doctor and he nodded behind him to his office, ready to go over everything you would need to know on how to look after Yoongi and make sure he made the best recovery.

It felt like it had been forever since you and Yoongi had spoken to one another despite him just being in the other room, he was staring out of the window at the rain while you stayed in the kitchen trying to do anything except going into there and talk to him. It was blown out of proportion, both of your emotions were riding high since you'd been stuck together for so long. Lockdown and the surgery both playing a part in Yoongi's mindset. Looking back on it Yoongi knew it was a stupid thing to do when you were just doing what you were told to do but it didn't make him feel any less upset about it. For the last two months, you'd done nothing but hover around him as if he was about to break at any given moment and it was starting to get on his nerves. You were constantly asking him what he wanted you to do for him. Never letting him do anything on his own. No matter where he was you were there breathing down the back of his neck waiting to help him. He knew he was supposed to be thankful for it since you were the one person who was looking after him after his surgery but it just made him feel bad. It made him feel as though he couldn't do anything for himself and it built up inside of him until the point where he snapped at you and now neither of you were talking.

When he heard you moving he turned around to look at you, your head was down as you walked into the bathroom, ignoring him even though he hadn't said anything. Yoongi knew that even if he tried to say something you'd stay silent and lock yourself away from him and he couldn't blame you. The whole time you'd done nothing but make sure Yoongi was healing perfectly, he remembered everything you did for him. Cooking, cleaning, helping him in the shower or baths, making sure he could watch the boys preforming and being there for him when he got upset about not being able to be there with them.

The temperature in the bath was perfect and you looked at Yoongi who was standing in the doorway,

"Thanks," He whispered as he watched you, he'd gotten home four days ago and it was finally time that he could have a bath with the stitches in.

"The doctor said it'll be fine, as long as we don't soak the stitches," You told him as you moved the shower curtain out of the way so he could get into the bathtub easier.

"Will you get in with me?" He laughed as he began to kick off his boxers, waiting for you to help him with his shirt. He wasn't allowed to lift his arm up by himself, he needed someone to steady it for him while he changed or did anything that required using that arm.

"You want me to?" You giggled as you saw the blush creeping onto his cheeks, nodding his head as he watched you.

"Then sure," You whispered, waiting for him to get into the water before you would join him in the water. Stripping out of your clothes as soon as he was in the tub and climbing into the tub in front of him.

Even when he knew how tired you were, you were always there to make sure he had everything that he needed. All those times he would wake up in the dead of night in pain you would instantly wake up and stay awake with him so he didn't have to go through it all alone. He knew how much begging and pleading with your boss it had taken to manage to get the time off just to look after him and there he was throwing it back at you when all you were doing was being nice and doing as you were told. It was as if you were his one and only guardian angel, always there to look after him and he adored you for it. Even if he hadn't shown it and then yelled at you for being in the way when he was really just upset at himself for everything. Staring over at the bathroom door as he heard the shower running so he made his way over and tapped on the door softly.

"Y-Your tablets are on the table with some tea," You stuttered out and Yoongi instantly knew you were crying in there so he knocked again without a word. The door slowly opening to reveal you standing there, tears rolling down your cheeks with bloodshot eyes.

"Are you in pain? I can get the stronger painkillers-" You stopped talking as Yoongi wrapped his good arm around your waist and held onto you tightly. Kissing your shoulder as he held you, tears streaming harder down your face as you hugged him back. Relaxing against his embrace as you let go of every emotion you'd been feeling for the last couple of weeks.

"I'm sorry I yelled and said things I didn't mean...I-I'm tired and annoyed at myself," He whispered as he pulled back to look at you, reaching up to rub the tears away from your face, smiling weakly as you locked eyes with him he was going to keep saying sorry for as long as he took.

"We're both tired," You whimpered as you kissed his lips softly, trying to remind yourself that he didn't mean it and you knew it. The two of you had been having a lot of broken sleep so it was getting to you too much.

"You should take your meds, come on..." You whispered, pulling him in the direction of the kitchen but Yoongi stopped you.

"I'll take them, go and have a long bubble bath...I'll order some food?" You nodded at him, the idea of a nice hot bubble bath and take-out food sounded like the perfect combination right now.

"Then we'll curl up on the sofa and watch a movie until we fall asleep," He promised you as he looked at you, raising your hand to his lips and leaving a small kiss on it.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @acciocriativity @that-anxious-bisexual

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enthusiasticharry · 4 years ago

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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 6.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : i feel like i've been waiting years for this to happen when it has only been a few months or so but here it is! feels like home is finally here and i couldn't be more excited. this fic is literally like my child, just like checkmate was, but it does hit closer to home because there are some subjects and topics discusses that are things that happened to me or close to me, so i feel as though i have to protect it with my entire life. but please, do enjoy this not so brief introduction to feels like home, christian and luisa and their little world.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : explicit language, mentions of anxiety, depression and heavy injury. mentions of a car crash.

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨�� 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐍𝐄 here

“Christian!�� The sound of her name rings through the entire Bed and Breakfast with how loud her sister screams it.

“What?”

“Have you seen my phone?” Christian sighs, leaning over the table that she was sat at to grab Luisa’s phone that was on the other side, holding it out for her sister. Luisa manoeuvres her wheelchair to the side of the table, “Thank you!”

“Welcome.” Christian mutters, leaning her chin back onto the palm of her hand as she scrolls through the Lodge’s booking system.

The booking system, apart from a few weekend bookings from the odd elderly couple, was completely empty. September was always quite a slow time of the year for the Lodge, and the sisters had found that out the hard way last year, during their first year of being open, when nobody booked anything for the entire month. From what Christian remembers, there were only two walk-in customer’s during the month and they only stayed for a night or so. The fact that they only had two bookings didn’t cause her to worry as much as she did the year prior though, because they had just had the biggest summer that they could ever imagine, and it was only their second year of fully being in business.

It had always been Luisa Flores’ dream to own her own Bed and Breakfast, but Christian had never, ever thought that she would be right beside her when she did it, but, she wouldn’t change it for the world now — she really wouldn’t.

Four years ago the sisters were coming home in the back of a taxi after going out for the night with their friends. They were drunk, but they weren’t driving and they never would whilst intoxicated, but they soon found out halfway through their journey that not everyone is the same. The driver hit the taxi that the Flores sisters were in on the right side as they drove through a junction, and completely destroyed Luisa and the driver’s side of the car. Christian doesn’t remember much from the accident apart from seeing a flashing light from the right side of her and then waking up in a hospital bed with her neck in a neck brace.

All she could think about was whether or not her sister was alive, and when none of the doctors would answer her Christian felt her entire world crumble around her. Even when her parents came, all they had been told was that Luisa had been rushed into emergency surgery and a doctor would be with them after to explain what was going on. Whilst they were waiting, Christian’s doctor came in and explained that she was going to have a scan and some x-rays to check that everything was alright with her. The results came back that Christian had three broken ribs and that her right arm had been fractured in three different places, but apart from that it was all cuts and bruises and she would make a full recovery.

Luisa, on the other hand, hadn’t been so lucky. Due to the car hitting them on her side, it had done unimaginable damage that Christian could only wish to take away from her sister. Luisa had lost one of her legs in the accident and lost all movement in the other, causing her to be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life. It changed their lives forever, and all Christian could ever think was that she should’ve sat on that side, not her sister.

If the accident did anything to their family, it brought them closer together. They had been talking one night whilst watching Gossip Girl for the thousandth time and Christian had brought up that when they were younger, all Luisa would ever talk about was owning her own Bed and Breakfast in the Lake District. At first, Luisa had dismissed the idea and said that it wouldn’t ever work because of her wheelchair and not being able to walk but if anything, it actually meant that Christian had more of a fire up her arse to make it happen for her sister. A lot of the things that Luisa wanted to do with her life she couldn’t anymore, but this thing, with Christian’s help, she could do.

They found the building that Little Lodge is now in a few months after deciding that they were going to start up their Bed and Breakfast and with help from their parents, they managed to get a deposit down and also managed to get themselves a mortgage. Before they knew it, they were opening their own little Bed and Breakfast.

It was a stressful experience at first, and Christian can’t lie and say that it isn’t stressful a lot nowadays as well, but it was certainly worse at the beginning. The majority of the time, Luisa did the front of house and Christian did everything else because it was just easier for the two of them and the dynamic of the Lodge. There was the odd time that the two of them would change their roles just to fit the situation but that was usually it. Christian loved the dynamic that they had created in Little Lodge more than anything else in her life. It was her new home, and she would never give it up, never.

“Have you heard anything from mamá about abuela?” Luisa asks after a few minutes or so, closing her phone and dropping it down onto her lap.

“No.” Christian shakes her head, swirling in the desk-chair that she was sat in so that she was facing her older-sister, “Mamá said that she’d message if there were any updates but I haven’t heard anything. Papá said that they’re still waiting for the scan results.”

“That’s shit.” Luisa adds and Christian nods her head, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, “She had the scan hours ago, didn’t she?”

“Papá said that abuela went in for the scan at around six this morning, and they’ve been waiting and waiting but nothing yet.”

Christian sighs and shrugs her shoulders whilst Luisa shakes her head. Christian and Luisa’s abuela still lived in Seville, where their mother is originally from and she had recently started to get quite sick so their parents decided that it was probably best that the two of them go and visit her for an extended amount of time whilst she had tests done and they figured out what was wrong with her. It was nerve-wracking for the girls, that they weren’t able to be with her family and check that their abuela was okay but they couldn’t leave the Lodge, and they just hoped that their abuela understood that.

“Ay Dios mio.” Luisa shakes her head again, “Mamá must be going out of her mind.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.” Christian shrugs, “We’ve all seen how bad she’s gotten over the past few years. As much as I hate to admit it, I have a suspicion that it isn’t going to be the best news.”

“Christian!” Luisa raises one of her eyebrows as she looks at her younger sister, “Don’t think like that. We have to stay positive.”

Christian raises one of her eyebrows at her sister, “Positive? I’m just telling the truth, Lu.”

“I know you are.” Her sister pushes again, “But don’t you go saying that to mamá, that might be the end for her.”

“Like I would.” Christian leans forward and thumps her sister on the shoulder, but composes herself when she notices the last couple that they have staying in the Lodge for the summer make their way to the desk to check out. Luisa raises one of her eyebrows at Christian, who just responds to her sister with a roll of her eyes.

As the couple walk towards the front of the desk, Christian swivels around in her chair so that she’s facing the front again and offers them a large smile, “Morning, how are you both? Did you sleep well?”

“We did, thank you.” The man responds walking over and placing the keys to their room down on the counter, “Sad to be leaving, that’s for sure.”

“We’re sad to see you go, too.” Christian offers them a sad smile whilst she tries to find their booking on the system, “But I’m sure we’ll see you again, yeah?”

“Yeah, you certainly will.” The man laughs and Christian nods her head.

Christian sends their receipt to print and holds her hand out, waiting for the sheets to come out. Once they have, she staples their version together, and the Lodge’s versions together and opens them to the page they need to sign and passes them a pen.

“Can you sign on the dotted line and date, please?” She asks and the man nods, “It’s just a confirmation of payment and then you’ll get another one when we’ve cleaned the room and sent your deposit back.”

The man nods and signs the two pages before passing them back to Christian. She finishes the process and then gives them their receipt and wishes them a good day and safe travel. That was the last couple to leave the Lodge, and that meant that Summer was officially over and that they wouldn’t see as many customers as they had in a long time, probably not until October Half-Term when all of the schools in England broke up for a week. Once the door had closed behind them, Christian turned back to her sister who was looking at her with a silly smile on her face.

“What?”

“You’ve gotten better at that, you know?” Luisa says, moving forward so that she can slip underneath the desk with Christian, “You stuttered so much when we first opened.”

“That’s just ‘cos I was nervous.” Christian shrugs, “I didn’t want to fuck it up. Now, I don’t care. I don’t think I can fuck anything up.”

“Uh, let's agree to disagree with that one. There’s still things that you’d be able to fuck up. You get too nervous and word-vomit.”

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Lu. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey.” Luisa knocks Christian’s shoulder with hers, “What are sisters for?”

As far as a sibling relationship went, Christian and Luisa were as close as sisters could be. This had been both before and after the accident. There were only two years between them, and Christian sometimes wondered whether or not it was how close the two of them were in age that meant they were so close. They would do everything together when they were younger, and of course they had arguments and fought at little things that didn’t matter but at the end of the day they were still sisters. That was certainly one of the reasons why they made it through sorting out the Lodge without killing each other, because Christian doesn’t believe they’ve ever argued as much as they did when they were trying to sort the Lodge out, but they made it through without actually hitting one another which is better than they could say for before the accident.

They were minding their business when the computer pinged. It was loud, and it caused the two of them to sit up and stare at the screen with their eyebrows furrowed.

“Is that—?” Luisa asks.

“— I don’t know.” Christian leans forward and places her hand on the mouse, moving so that she could close the tab that she had opened and move to the booking-system app, which had been the one to make the noise.

“Has someone booked?” Luisa looked just as confused as Christian was and when she looked at the system, she saw that someone had actually booked.

As Christian flickered her eyes over the booking her mouth parted open in shock, “Holy shit.”

“What? What is it?” Luisa moves closer to Christian and focuses her eyes on the screen, “Ay Dios mio.”

Not only had someone booked in September of all months, but they had booked for the entire month. At first Christian thought that her eyes had been deceiving her and that this wasn’t the case at all. The more that she looked at the booking, the more that she realised that it was real and someone actually had booked to stay at their Lodge in the month of September.

“Holy Fuck.” Christian couldn’t help the profanities as they slipped from her lips, then parting in shock when she finally read the full confirmation.

Christian had expected to see that the booking would be for a few days, probably three at most, but when she saw that it was for the entire month. The entire fucking month, she felt her heart stop. Whoever this person was, H.Styles as the booking says, wanted to come and stay at their Lodge for the entire month. The most they’ve ever had was a week before, and that was during the height of summer when the kids were off school. To say that the two sisters were in shock would certainly be an understatement.

“Is this a joke?” Luisa asks, obviously just as dumbfounded as Christian at what she was looking at, “This can’t be real.”

“It looks like it.” Christian starts to scroll through the information that had been given, “The email, card. Everything.”

“You search him on Insta, I’ll do Facebook.”

Christian immediately takes her phone out and opens Instagram, typing in H.Styles to see if anything comes up, but it doesn’t. No matter how much Christian scrolls through all of the profiles that come up from the search as well. At the same time, one of these profiles could be of the person coming to stay at their Lodge in the next few days, Christian just didn’t know. After she closed her phone and placed it face down on the table, she looked up at Luisa who had her face too close to the screen of her own phone as she looked at something.

“Think you’ve found him?” Christian asks, leaning over her sister's shoulder to look at the profile that she was on.

“I don’t know.” Luisa mumbles, passing her phone to her sister, “Maybe this could be him.”

The profile that Luisa showed her sister was one of the profiles that look as if they aren’t used at all, but it’s actually just because they have a private account. The profile picture looked to be of a man, maybe around Christian’s age, or maybe Luisa’s but they couldn’t tell because the photo only showed the side of his face. From what Christian could also tell, the photo seemed to have been taken in a museum of some sort, and it looked almost serene.

“Could be.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, “I suppose we’ll know in two days.”

Luisa sighs and drops her head back, “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long.”

“Shut it.” Christian shakes her head, thwacking her sister on the shoulder, “Have a little patience. Why do you care anyway?”

“Well excuse me for being curious on who the person is who’s going to feed us in September and October.” Luisa shakes her head before moving herself backwards, “I’m going to check some things with Yani, are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, giving her a small smile, “Have fun. Let me know if you hear anything about abuela.”

“Same to you.”

Christian gives her sister one last smile as she ventures back inside and towards the kitchen, before she places her attention back onto the booking in front of her. This was certainly going to be one for the record books, whether Christian and Luisa knew that yet or not.

As Christian sat drinking the coffee that she had made herself a few minutes prior, she quickly realised that it probably wasn’t the best idea to drink coffee at a time like this.

Christian’s social anxiety certainly wasn’t as bad as it had been, but it still wasn’t the best. Christian’s mother has said from her being a young child that she can talk for England if it’s to someone who she knows and trusts, but the second that it’s to someone who she doesn’t know and doesn’t feel comfortable with, she’s nervous and awkward and will only speak if she’s spoken to. The accident certainly didn’t help, and for a while Christian only spoke to her family and doctors but she bounced back from that quicker than anyone could have imagined, and she guessed that was because of Little Lodge and how it brought Christian out of her comfort zone.

Just because Christian was better than she had been, it certainly didn’t mean that she was completely cured because that wasn’t the case, not even a little bit. She would still fumble on her words, albeit not as much as she used to, but it would still happen. More often than not Christian wouldn’t speak unless she was spoken to and she tries her hardest to stay away from social situations that she knew would stress her out, because that wasn’t good for anyone.

One of the little worries that she had picked up since opening the Lodge, though, was whenever they had somebody book online and Christian wasn’t distracted enough to not think about it, that would be all that she would think about. Sometimes she would get herself into some quite horrible states worrying about the types of people that were going to walk through their doors, but Christian had to remind herself that speculation isn’t the right thing to do and that she can’t let herself worry like that unless that is actually something to worry about — obviously that doesn’t mean she completely stops doing it.

That was one of the reasons why Christian hadn’t slept at all last night, and why when she woke up this morning she felt the need to make herself a large cup of coffee. The only thing was that the more caffeine that the girl drank, the more that her heart started to beat faster within her chest. At this moment in time, Christian didn’t know if it was more nerves or excitement that H.Styles was arriving today.

“You look like death.” Luisa says, as she stops her chair in front of the reception desk.

“Good morning to you too, Luisa.” Christian says sarcastically, lifting her eyes up from the screen to look directly at her sister, “Did you sleep well? Are you excited for today? How are you?”

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” She shakes her head and places her hands on the desk, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“As you lovingly pointed out, I look like death, so no, I didn’t.” Christian explains, unable to stop herself from letting out a large yawn.

“You need to sleep, Chris.” Luisa shakes her head, “I get that you worry but it certainly isn’t worth losing sleep over.”

“I know.” Christian offers her sister a small smile, “I’m not gonna be able to ever stop doing it, I hope you know that.”

“I know.” Luisa nods her head, “And I’m sure you know that I’m going to keep telling you that you look like death.”

Christian grins, “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Luisa’s phone pings before she can say anything else, and Christian knows that it’s probably time for her to leave. Luisa and her girlfriend, Elsa, have had this day planned as their date day for a long time, and Christian wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of their day.

Luisa and Elsa have been together for three years now. They met when Luisa went away to Sweden for a few weeks with her friends from school. Elsa had been visiting her family and they met through a confusing line of mutual friends that Christian had very little interest in learning about. All Christian cared about was that her sister was happy, and if Elsa was the person to do that then that was all Christian wanted in life. When the accident happened, Luisa had been worried that Elsa wouldn’t want to be with her anymore, and no matter how many times Christian reassured her sister that Elsa wouldn’t do that and that she loved her, Luisa just believed that wasn’t the case. As Christian had reassured her sister, Elsa didn’t leave. In fact, Elsa did everything that she could to help Luisa.

For Christian, Luisa and Elsa were the epitome of what she wanted in life. She wanted someone to look at her the way they look at each other, and love her like they love each other.

“El’s here.” Luisa grinned as she looked at her sister again, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? We can stay if you want, go out later.”

“No!” Christian exclaimed, shaking her head, “You’re not cancelling because of this. I’ll be fine. You two enjoy yourself.”

Luisa looks at her sister and raises one of her eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Completely positive?”

“Luisa!” Christian exclaims, shaking her head, “Go to your girlfriend, everything will be fine.”

“Okay.” Christian stood up and made her way towards her sister, pressing a kiss to her cheek and then making her way over to the door and opening it for her. Christian can see Elsa’s car parked at the end of the street and she smiles at the sight, “I’ll see you later. Message me if you need me.”

“Will do. Have fun.”

Christian watches for a little while longer, just checking that Luisa actually makes it to Elsa. Once she sees the car door open and Elsa steps out, Christian takes it as her cue to go back inside. There aren’t any guests staying at the Lodge at this exact time, so it feels a little odd to Christian that someone will be coming tonight and that they’re going to be staying for the entire month, and be the only guest that they have for a while.

Yesterday, seeing as though it was the only day that Christian had been given to prepare, she made a start on deciding which room she was going to give H.Styles and started to get it ready. Luisa had spent the day at reception so that Christian could do that, only face-timing her every once in a while so that she could see what Christian was doing to the rooms.

A part of Christian often felt guilty when it came to the two rooms that were on the upper floor of the Lodge. They were the largest and fanciest rooms in Christian’s opinion, but due to the narrow staircase Luisa had never been able to go up and see them in real life so she had to settle for Christian’s shaky camera work on facetime.

Christian had to choose between rooms Seda and Luz which were both nice for different reasons. She supposes that she is biased because she designed these rooms and helped decorate them more as her own than the rooms downstairs. Due to Luisa not being able to go up to decorate the rooms, Christian had basically been given free reign of the rooms to do whatever she wanted with them. When it came to the names of the rooms, Seda and Luz, which mean silk and light in Spanish, Christian knew that she wanted to incorporate some form of each of the words into the decoration of the room.

When it came to Seda, Christian made the main colour combination in the room a dark grey and peach colour and incorporated the silk in with the curtains and the cushions that were used as decoration. Everything matches and isn’t too cluttered in the rooms, which is one of the things that Christian loves about being able to decorate her own rooms. The second room, Luz, she decided to make the accents in the room navy blue, including an accent wall which was a pain in Christian’s arse to paint, but once it was finished it really did bring the room together. The vocal point of the room, though, had to be the different exposed light bulbs that light up the room: there were three on the ceiling, and other lamps assorted throughout the room.

Christian had ended up cleaning and making sure that both rooms were adequate. She changed the sheets, hoovered, placed down fresh towels, dusted and did basically everything else that she could to not only distract herself but make the rooms ready for when H.Styles arrived.

Luisa always used to say, whenever they spoke about the Bed and Breakfast that she were going to own before the accident happened, that she reckoned that the cleaning and the upkeep portion would be the worst and for a while Christian thought the same, but she quickly came to realise that truly wasn’t the case. Christian loved to clean and make sure that everything was tidy for whenever the guests arrived and after having a little more thought about it, Christian believed that the reason she enjoyed cleaning was because it gave her time to relax and not think about everything else in her life. She often had her headphones on with music playing, or maybe even a podcast every now and then. Christian couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment in her life where she became an old woman, but she couldn’t say that she minded.

She decided that the best thing that she could do is wait until H.Styles arrived for her to make any decisions about which room she thought would be the best. Of course, Christian wouldn’t know anything about him by just checking him in she would at least be given a slight indication of which room he may enjoy more.

Christian had no idea what time H.Styles would be arriving, and that was one of the things that was creating a bit of suspense. She was checking their books and making sure everything was in line and at any given second he could arrive and she would meet the person who had booked to stay there for the entire month. Christian believed that maybe that was why she spent a lot of her time wondering about who was coming to stay with them, because who would need to stay in their little corner of the Lake District for that amount of time, who would need to do that?

If there was one thing that Christian certainly wasn’t doing it was complaining. This man, whoever he was and for whatever reasons he was doing this, would be paying their bills and giving them enough money to keep themselves going for a little while longer, or at least until October Half-Term.

Christian quickly learnt that there wasn’t going to be much for her to do but sit and wait, and due to her being on her own in the Lodge, she saw no issues with connecting her phone to her speakers and blasting out music into the room. Luisa always said that Christian had a weird taste in music, but Christian just said that it was eclectic.

The thing about Christian, especially when it came to her music, was that she listened to everything. If someone recommended a song, she’d listen to it, and if she liked that song then she’d listen to it again and again. She would never say that she wouldn’t listen to a song just because it’s country, or that she doesn’t like this artist very much so she won’t listen to it either. If a song is a good song, and she likes it, then she’d listen to it. That did mean that Christian’s playlists were a little all over the place, and no matter how hard she tried to organise them, it just wasn’t possible.

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John was the song blasting through the speakers at this time, a classic if Christian said so herself. She had done everything work wise that she needed to do, so she spent her time reading one of the books that she had picked up from the bookstore in the village: one about love, death and everything in between. It was good, but it wasn’t one of her favourites, but she’d definitely finish reading it just to see how it ended.

She was completely submerged in the words on the page, and the words floating around her ears when the door opened. In fact, she hadn’t noticed the man walking closer to the desk until she saw movement from over the pages of her book which caused her lips to part open in shock slightly. Her eyes flickered to the time on the computer, and it read that it was just past one in the afternoon, and she was shocked to say the least that he was already there.

Christian abandoned her book and threw it down, hoping that she’d at least get to remember where she was in the book because the pages had closed, and clicked her phone on so she could pause the music. Her eyes then flickered up to the man who was standing above her, and she couldn’t help her lips parting as she then looked him up and down. She was trying not to stare, she really was, but she wasn’t doing a very good job of it to say the least.

From what Christian could see, he was wearing a denim flat-cap on his head with brown curls peeking out of the bottom. He was also wearing sunglasses over his eyes, but she watched him take them off and they were now placed on the top of the reception desk. She could only see just under his chest, but he was wearing a red and blue striped shirt and a blue jacket. Christian couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he liked the colour blue, since he was wearing quite a lot of it.

“Hi.” Christian couldn’t help the sheepish smile that crossed her lips as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Sorry about that, how can I help you?”

“M’Harry.” The man says, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he does so. Harry, “I made a booking a few days ago, I’m here to check in.”

Christian nods her head, “I’ll just get that up for you."

She wiggles the mouse to wake the computer up and quickly types in the password so that their systems come back up. Christian’s a little embarrassed to say the least that their systems weren’t already up but she wasn’t expecting him to arrive yet, so she hadn’t prepared for it. Once the system is loaded up and she has his booking, she offers him another smile.

One of the things that Christian had prepared though was the bill that he has to sign beforehand with the deposit on it that states that he’ll get the deposit money back if the room is left unharmed.

“Can you sign and date on the dotted line, please?” She asks, giving him the sheet of paper and a pan. She watches as he signs H.Styles, in a beautiful penmanship if she does say so herself, and then passes back to her.

She clicks a few more buttons on the computer before opening the drawer and starting to flicker through the keys, “One room, for thirty nights.”

Christian tries to hide the shock in her voice when she says how long he’s staying but she certainly doesn’t do a good job of it. As Christian flickered through the keys, she finally landed on the one that she had been waiting for, the one for Luz. It seemed like an obvious choice in Christian’s mind when she saw what he was wearing to pick Luz, so that’s the one she decided upon.

“That’s right.” Harry nods his head.

“Great.” Christian sighs with a smile on her face, trying her hardest not to make the situation more awkward than it was, “I’ll, uh, show you to your room.”

He nods his head and she watches as he picks up the suitcases that she hadn’t even noticed he had with him and followed her towards the staircase. She was starting to feel a little uncomfortable at the fact that he was walking behind her, watching her and she couldn’t see what his face looked like. That was certainly why, and not because she had noticed that he had quite the handsome face.

Once she made it up to Luz, and she had turned the light switch on so that they wouldn’t be fumbling around in the dark trying to find where they were going, she used the key in her hand to open the door. Christian walked in first, just because there wasn’t enough room on the narrow landing for them both to stand and manoeuvre around each other — Christian had learnt that the hard way.

She placed the key on the cabinet in the room, and then turned to look at Harry who had just placed his suitcases down on the ground. He looked around the room for a little while and then moved to the window, looking out before turning to Christian.

“It’s lovely.”

Christian nodded her head in thanks, “Breakfast is from seven to nine everyday in the conservatory. I’ll, uh, leave you to get settled in and I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you.”

The second Christian walks out of the room and closes the door behind her, she lets out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t even known she had been holding.

Christian messaged Luisa that he had arrived but she received no reply. She didn’t think too much of it, because she knew that whenever Elsa and Luisa were together they were so completely obsessed with each other that nothing can distract them. Luisa knows though that if she doesn’t give Christian an update of their whereabouts by five then Christian would start to worry — they had four hours before Christian would start to worry.

For a little while Christian didn’t put her music back on, and she listened to the creeks of the ceiling as Harry moved around above her.

He didn’t give anything away of who he was, or why he was there but at the same time Christian made no indication of wanting to know anything. If Luisa would have been here when he arrived, that would probably be a completely different story. Luisa would’ve gotten some information out of him, Christian knew it for certain. She wondered who he was, and what he was doing here, but she wouldn’t ask him.

When the creeks of the ceilings stopped and there wasn’t anything else for Christian to listen to, she turned her music back on and picked up her book. It took her a while to locate where she was, having just thrown it on the side earlier when she noticed that he was there but she soon found the page she was up to. The words, as much as Christian tried to digest them, just weren’t going into her head in the way that they had been.

Christian wasn’t playing the music as loud as she had been earlier, mainly because she wanted to hear and listen when he started moving again, and when he eventually came downstairs. He had to come down at some point, seeing as though he had to eat and even though they serve breakfast at the Lodge, they don't serve lunch or dinner just yet. It was something that Christian and Luisa had been looking into, but it takes more work than they could have ever imagined to make something like that work.

Around two hours after Harry first arrived, she heard movement upstairs and towards the landing that caused her heart to skip a beat. Christian quickly turned her music off, and managed to place her bookmark in her book before he walked into the reception. She tried not to make it obvious and she placed her hand on the mouse of her computer as though she had been doing something, but she wasn’t the best actress and she was sure that it was completely obvious what she had been doing.

He gave her a smile as he walked into the room and towards the desk, and she tried not to seem awkward when she gave him one back but she was sure that she’d failed at that too.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

He nods his head, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just. . . I was just wondering whether you had any recommendations of places to eat.”

“Oh, uh, I do know of some good places.” She nods her head, “What food do you like? Then I know what to recommend.”

“I’ll eat anything, to be honest.” He chuckles, a smile crossing his lips. He had dimples.

“Uh, well, there’s a good Italian restaurant about a mile from here.” Christian shrugs, “I can call you a taxi, if you would like.”

“No, it’s fine.” He shrugs, “Have you got the postcode? Or some directions.”

“Yeah, it’s just down the road.” She points to the left, “If you go over the bridge and just follow the road for a mile or so, you can’t miss it. It’s called Galileo’s.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and turns to walk towards the door.

He opens the door and then moves to the side, stopping his actions. Christian furrows her eyebrows as she watches everything unfold. Luisa and Elsa walk through the opened door, smiling at Harry as they do so before turning to look at Christian with wide eyes. The two of them look over their shoulder and watch as the door shuts behind Harry as he leaves, and their eyes immediately fall to Christian again who’s looking at them with her teeth clamped firmly on her bottom lip.

“Oh. My. God.” Luisa slowly makes her way towards Christian, stopping when she’s finished saying the last word, “You failed to mention in your message that the man was basically a Greek God, Christ Christian.”

“Do you really think that me of all people would say that?” Christian sighs and shakes her head.

Elsa shakes her head, “Chris wouldn’t say that, Lu. You know that.”

Luisa accepts her girlfriend’s hand on her shoulder with a kiss, “Doesn’t mean it’s any less true though. Did he tell you anything?”

“His name is Harry.”

Luisa doesn’t blink as she looks at her sister, “That’s it? That’s all he said?”

“That’s all he said.” Christian nods her head, “He just came down to ask for a recommendation of places to eat and I told him to go to Galileo’s.”

“Jeez.” Elsa sucks a breath through her teeth and shakes her head, “Galileo’s? On the first night? Are you sure?”

“Galileo is harmless.” Christian shakes her head.

“He’s a nutcase.” Luisa sighs, shaking her head.

“He’s not.” Christian pouts, “He’s not around me, anyway.”

Elsa laughs and sits down on one of the couches that rest against the wall of the reception, “If he survive’s Galileo’s then he’ll survive staying here for an entire month, that’s for sure.”

“Hey!” Luisa whines, “We’re not that bad.”

“I’m not bad.” Christian’s quick to say after her sister, “You are though.”

“I’d watch your tone if I were you, missy.” Luisa says, lifting her hand up and pointing one of her fingers at her sister, “I’m still the older one in this situation.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows and looks at her sister, “Are you sure about that?”

“Shut it, you.” Luisa shakes her head, turning her attention back to her sister, “If I were you, I’d just keep an eye on him. See if you can figure out anything about him.”

“I’m not going to stalk him, Luisa!”

“I wasn’t telling you to stalk him!” She exclaims back, “I was just telling you to observe, like a good host would.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows from behind her girlfriend, “It sounds a lot like stalking to me.”

Luisa shakes her head, “I hate you both.”

Christian grins and tilts her head to the side, “You love us really.”

Although Christian would never admit it, watching and listening seemed like quite a good way of figuring out who this man was and why he was here. She wasn’t going to be stalking him though, just observing.

#first part of feels like home!! eek!!#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x oc #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles series #series

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nyctolovian · 4 years ago

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Summary: Where Jon and Martin get to grow old together and live out the rest of their lives in a village. Told from the POV of a 7-year-old girl, Trish, who just moved in next door.

Written in preparation for the emotional trainwreck that would be the finale of TMA :”)

Trish peeked out from behind the bushes to look at the cottage. She was new in the neighbourhood, but she had already heard all sorts of stories about it from the other kids she played with. There was a ghost in there, or a wizard, and anyone who stepped foot into its boundaries would be cursed and get kidnapped by a giant clown with claws for hands.

If you asked Trish, she’d tell you she didn’t believe in stupid fairytales and ghost stories like this. While the other kids still believed in Santa Claus, she already knew that it was just her parents sneaking treats into her Christmas socks. There was no way there was some sort of cursed monster living at the bottom of the hill.

Still, as she stood outside it’s fences, wiping her sweaty palms against her skirt, she gulped nervously. The way the other kids acted as they told her to get the ball because “you were the one who kicked it there!” still scared her. What if there was a bad guy in the house? She was only seven! What could she do?

She ran through several possible scenarios. She’d run. If she couldn’t, she’d kick the bad guy as hard as she could; her aunt had always said she had a good kick. If not, she’ll bite as hard as she can. Or she could–

“Excuse me. What are you doing in front of my house?” came a low voice.

Trish leapt backwards in fright with a squeak.

Standing behind her was an old man with a stubble in a long yellow dress (woman?), carrying several bags of groceries on her left arm. With her other hand, she wielded a cane. There were pale scars all over her dark skin and Trish wondered if this old lady might have been a pirate. Her dark eyes seemed to stare into Trish's soul as her lips were set in a downwards curl. Her eyebrows were thick and tightly knitted in a permanent-looking scowl. She reminded Trish of Mdm Taylor from school, except older and grumpier.

"I… Uh, I…" Trish shifted from foot to foot, her palms growing even sweatier. "I… My ball…" She pointed towards the ball in the lawn.

The woman with the beard followed her gaze to the bright pink ball beside the front door. "Ah," she said, sighing loudly. She walked to the front gate.

With her hands full, she had to fumble with the latch for a good minute before pushing the gate open. "There we are," she said. "Get your ball."

Trish blinked. It was that easy?

She ran past the lady with the beard and picked up her ball. She hugged it close to her chest and looked back up at the old lady, half-expecting her to declare that there was a price for taking the ball back, or that she was trapped here forever.

However, instead the old lady just hobbled through the gate. Some of her grocery bags got caught between the gate and she let out a groan. Trish's eyes darted between the old lady and the bags before she placed her ball back down, stepped forward and took some of the groceries from the lady with the beard.

"Oh, um," she said. "Thank you."

"It's okay," Trish replied, lifting the bags and walking towards the front door of the cottage. "I help my Ma take the groceries all the time."

The lady with the beard followed after and reached into the pockets of her dress (which were very deep pockets, Trish enviously noticed). As soon as she unlocked the door, Trish lugged the grocery bags into the house.

It was a clean house, and it smelled a lot like her Gramma's house. Old people smell, she reckoned.

"Where's your kitchen?"

"Over here."

Trish followed after her into the kitchen and she placed the groceries down where she was told.

"What's your name?" the old lady asked.

Trish froze. Her mother told her not to trust strangers and not to tell strangers her name. But perhaps she had already broken some of the rules since she just walked into a stranger's house. But she wasn't kidnapped yet so it was probably safe.

"I'm Trish."

"Ah, thank you so much, Trish. You have been of tremendous help." The lady with the beard began to pack her groceries away. "Usually, my husband would help me with all this."

"What happened to your husband?"

"He's in the hospital."

Trish gasped.

"He's going to be fine. Don't worry. It's just his knee. He'll be back in a week."

"Phew!" Trish dragged her hand across her forehead. "That's good. What's your name by the way?"

"Oh. My name's Jon."

"Jon?!" Trish shouted. "But that's a boy's name!"

The old lady looked confused. "I… yes? It is a masculine name, I suppose?"

"Are you a boy?"

Jon's eyes widened. "I see. Well… I'm neither a boy or a girl. But I am a he. As in, um, for example, 'his name is Jon and he likes eating peaches.'"

"How are you both not a boy or a girl though?"

Jon frowned in thought. "I just am. It just happens sometimes for people. Some people aren't a boy or a girl."

"Then, what are you?"

Jon frowned. "I'm nonbinary."

"Non…"

"Non-bi-na-ry," Jon repeated, slower, and Trish followed after. He smiled. "It can be a difficult word to pronounce."

"It's not that hard. I can do it," Trish said, rolling her eyes. Adults always made it seem like everything was too hard for her to do. "Nonbinary! See!"

Jon smiled. It was a small one, but Trish spotted it anyway.

She puffed up her chest and announced, “I need to go now. Bye bye!"

"Bye," Jon replied, waving his hand.

On the way out, Trish picked up her ball and made sure to close the doors behind her.

***

When Trish next spotted Jon, she was at the market with her father. As soon as she sees him, she tugs her dad's shirt and whispers loudly, "That's Jon at the fruit place. He lives in the cottage at the bottom of the hill."

Her father hummed absently as he picked out the vegetables. "Why don't you go say hi, sweetheart?"

With a nod, Trish headed over to the fruit stand where Jon was. He spotted her before she reached him and gave her a little wave. Today, he is in a button-up shirt and black pants.

"Hello, Trish," he greeted. "Helping your mother out?"

"Nope. My Da's shopping this time." She points to her father, who was still engrossed in examining the vegetables. She peered into Jon's basket and saw that in it, there were apples, mangoes and peaches. "Is your husband back yet?"

"Hm? Yes, he is. But he's resting at home. The surgery did a number on him."

"Surgery?!" Trish screeched. Jon winced at the shout and she muttered an apology.

Forgivingly, Jon shook his head. "Sometimes, when you get old, your joints will get a bit painful so the doctors have to replace it with an implant. He's on the road to recovery now so no worries."

“Implant…?”

Jon took time to explain what that meant. Trish had a million questions swirling around her head and she continued to press him for answers. Unlike a lot of adults, Jon took time to answer her questions to the best of his abilities.

Trish was about to ask how on earth someone can survive being cut open by another person when someone interrupted them. "Retired to teach primary school children, eh, Jon?" the fruit seller said, folding her arms. "Didn't know you were taking in new students."

Jon scowled. "You know full well—"

"Enough of you," the fruit seller brushed him aside in favour of leaning over her counter to look at Trish. "Heya, pipsqueak. Haven't seen you before."

"I’m not his student… My Ma and Da and me moved in last last week. My Da's there," she said, pointing.

It was also then that her father seemed to have settled the payment for vegetables and came over. “Trish, there you are. Where’s your friend? I thought you went to talk to him.”

Trish tugged Jon’s shirt. “Here.”

Da's eyes widened. “Oh! You’re Jon?” He quickly schooled his expression into a friendly smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. The way she talked about you… I just thought she was talking about her classmate so I was…”

“Expecting a seven-year-old and not a seventy-year-old,” Jon replied, raising an eyebrow. “That’s understandable. I’m Jonathan Blackwood-Sims. Nice to meet you.”

“Nathan Fujisaki. I’m Trish’s dad. Nice to meet you too.”

Jon’s phone began to ring and his brow furrowed. “Apologies,” he muttered as he placed his grocery bag on the stand before fumbling out his phone. He frowned as soon as he saw the caller-ID and picked it up immediately. “Martin, what’s wrong?” His eyes darted from side to side before he cupped a hand over the receiver and turned away from the rest of them to whisper into the phone.

“His husband,” the fruit seller said. “The two of them fuss over each other a lot.”

"Is that so?"

The fruit seller's eyes lit up with glee at the opportunity to gossip a little. "Yeah. When they first moved in, I was, like, 15? It's a lot better now but back then, the two of them were hardly ever apart. He taught me for a year, you know? And I don't know what arrangement they had with the school but they were practically glued to the hip anytime outside of class."

"So he is a teacher!" Trish exclaimed. "He reminded me of Mdm Taylor so I thought he might be a teacher."

"Yeah, he does have that vibe about him, doesn't he?" the fruit seller said. "Cross about everything and anything. He had that even when he was my teacher. And he was pretty scary back in the day too. Nothing seemed to get past him."

"If you truly believed that, you would know better than to gossip about me," Jon countered as he returned to pick up his grocery bag.

"How is he?" Trish asked.

Jon winced. "It's… better now. But I should head back as soon as I can." He began to make his move and said, "Take care."

"Would you like a lift?" Da offered. "It's on the way."

"I…" Jon glanced down at his cane before he let out a sigh. "Yes, please. I would appreciate that."

It didn't take very long to fetch Jon to his house. Da gave Jon his contact number in case he and his husband needed any help. Jon stared openly, expression unreadable for a moment, before he gave a brief nod and rushed into the house.

On the way home, Da was frowning. "He seems familiar…" he muttered when Trish asked. "Like I've seen him somewhere before."

***

Stupid Da. Stupid Ma.

They weren't listening to her. In a fit of anger, she ran out of the house and to the first place she could think of. It wasn't fair, she thought. Trish's lower lip wobbled as she curled harder into herself.

Suddenly, the door to the cottage at the bottom of the hill opened. A large old man with a thick beard wearing a pair of boxers and a singlet emerged and his eyes fell upon the small girl who had squished herself into a corner of the porch. "Oh my god!" squeaked the old man. "Wh-What are you doing out here? Where are your parents?"

Trish glared up through the tears in her eyes. "You're not Jon," she said, her voice rough from crying.

"Oh, he's… he's out right now," the man said, smiling apologetically. "Would you like to come in and wait for him? Or, uh, or not. We can wait for him outside."

Trish nodded.

"Feel free to sit in the chair there.”

Trish shook her head.

“Okay. Would you like something to drink then? We have tea, and milk."

"Milk."

With a gentle smile, the man went back into the house and came out, dressed in a knee-length skirt and a loose shirt. He had also brought out a cup of milk, which he placed in Trish's hand. He went back inside for a moment, before returning with a piping hot cup of tea for himself.

The man limped over to a rocking chair and sat down heavily with a sigh. As he placed his own cup down on the table beside himself, Trish noticed the massive scar on his left leg that ran from his mid-calf up to his knee. "Are you Jon's husband?" she asked. "Martin?"

The man's eyes practically lit up. "Oh yes!" He drummed his fingers against his belly delightfully. "I'm guessing that you're Trish then?"

She nodded.

"Jon's told me a bit about you," he said.

"Are you also non… nonbinary," she said the word slowly to make sure she got it right.

From the look of it, she had because Martin smiled again. "Nope. I'm a man. Just one who finds skirts incredibly comfortable."

"I don't like skirts," Trish said frankly. "They're too wooshy and swishy."

"Perfectly understandable." Martin nodded.

"Where's Jon?"

"He's doing groceries."

Trish stuck her lower lip out. "He's always doing groceries."

Something between a laugh and a sigh escaped Martin's chest. "He is, isn't he? My poor husband just can't sit still. He has to go to the market once a day or he'll get cranky. Or crankier than usual."

Trish nodded as she took a sip from her cup.

"So, what are you doing here?"

Trish lowered her cup. "I don't know."

"Did something happen to make you cry?" Martin asked.

Curling in harder into herself, she muttered, "I'm not telling."

"Oh, um… Sure."

"Does it hurt?"

"Hm?" Martin followed her gaze to his knee. "Oh, you mean my knee? It was hurting really badly before I went to the hospital. I mean, it's still hurting a bit now because I'm recovering so I take a bit of painkiller to deal with that. It'll get better soon."

"Does it hurt when they do it on you?"

"Mm… not really? They give you an injection that makes you sleep through the entire surgery. It's kind of when you wake up that you start feeling the pain."

Trish frowned. It sounded a bit unrealistic. How could you sleep through being cut open? She didn’t get the opportunity to ask Martin anything though because, in the distance, a small figure could be seen hobbling towards the house. Martin immediately straightened up. "There he is," he said, before waving.

Trish followed suit with a big wave of her own, putting her entire arm into it.

“You have a little visitor,” Martin said as soon as Jon stepped past the gate.

“I can see that very well,” Jon said, rolling his eyes. He made a small detour to their side of the porch to give Martin’s forehead a kiss. Then, he looked at Trish and probably noticed her red-rimmed eyes. "Did something happen?"

Trish frowned. "Ma and Da won't let me have a birthday party. They said it's a waste of time and I'll forget it anyway."

"Oh…" Jon pursed his lips. "Do they know you're here now?"

"No. And I don't want them to."

"They must be worried sick," Martin remarked with a small frown.

Shrinking into herself, Trish muttered sourly, "Let them."

“I know you’re angry at them and you don’t want to see them right now but it is quite unkind to cause them needless worry,” Jon reasoned gently. “I shall give them a call, okay? Just to let them know you’re here. I promise I’ll let you stay here until you’re ready to talk to them again. But you wouldn't want them to think you're in danger, right?”

Trish pouted hard, but eventually nodded.

“Right,” Jon said with a nod before heading into the house. He came back out after about 5 minutes with some cut fruits. “We have permission for you to stay until dinner,” he said as he sat down in the other chair with a low grunt. “Now, I hope you didn’t have to suffer Martin’s nagging for too long while I was away.”

“Nagging?!” Martin shot back with an offended voice. “And don’t you think I suffer when you insist on leaving a trail of cups all over the house? Do you think you’re Gretel or something?”

“Actually,” Jon said, knowing full well what he was doing, “Hansel was the one who left the trails.”

Martin groaned comically and Trish giggled a little.

***

“You know what?” Trish yelled as she threw the door open. From the kitchen, Martin made a weird squeaky noise.

“It would be polite to knock. Martin’s already got a weak enough heart already,” Jon chided as he stood up from his sofa and went to the entrance.

“Oh… Um...” She gently closed the door again before knocking. Then, she patiently waited as the sound of Jon’s shuffling slippers got closer.

“Trish,” Jon said exasperatedly as he opened the door. “You don’t have to close the door again if you’re already inside. We know you’re here.”

“Oh, okay,” Trish said, walking in.

Martin came into view and he was laughing a little. “God, you sound like such a curmudgeon.”

Frowning, Trish asked, “Cur…?”

“A grumpy old person,” Martin explained. “You know, like Jon.”

Teasingly, Jon poked Martin’s rib. “Oh yeah? Is that resentment in your voice, Mr Blackwood-Sims?”

Martin grabbed the offending hand. “Oh, absolutely not. You’re my curmudgeon. I’m not resenting you anytime soon.”

“Sap,” Jon muttered, covering his mouth with his hand, but that did nothing to hide the smile in his voice.

Trish rolled her eyes. “Aaaaanyway,” she said, putting her hands on her hips, “I’m here to announce something.”

“Yes, yes, announce away,” Jon said.

But he was making goo-goo eyes at Martin so Trish decided she’d leave the very important announcement of her birthday party for another day.

***

Having chicken pox and being forced to stay in her room for an entire week was already bad enough. But then, it just had to be on the week of her birthday. What’s worse was that Trish had gone and scratched at her skin, and even though it was healed, she had some scars on her arms and face. And she really did not appreciate scars as a birthday present.

Ma chided her for not listening and handed her a bottle of cream to apply over the scars. “If you properly apply it, then maybe it’ll get rid of those scars,” she said.

Not wanting any of the scars to remain, Trish religiously applied the cream every night. But they didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

“It isn’t the end of the world if it does leave scars anyway. Look at the both of us! We have scars and we’re doing fine,” Jon comforted her, which wasn’t very comforting.

“It’s okay if you two have scars. You’re old people anyway,” Trish said, popping one of Martin’s freshly baked cookies into her mouth.

“Ouch!” Martin said, sitting down beside Jon at the dining table. “That’s a bit mean, Trish.”

Wincing, she muttered, “Sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Jon said. He peered over at her arm. "I think it's fading. It's just a bit slow so be patient with it."

Trish nodded. However, even as she sat there talking with them, her index finger kept returning to rub over the most prominent scar on her forearm. The tiny bump of the scar annoyed her and she wished she could tear it out, but she knew that would likely only make the scar worse.

"You know, Trish," Martin said, "it's normal for kids to get scars. We all get scars from at your age too."

"Jon too?"

"I…" Jon frowned. "I don't recall much of when I was young unfortunately."

"How come?"

"Complicated stuff," Jon said, making a vague gesture. "It'd be too long a story to explain."

"Well," Martin interjected, "he doesn't remember his. But I do." He lifted his arm to show the pale jagged patch on his elbow. "This one I got from when I fell off a tree outside my house. I got a kite snagged onto the branches so I had to get it down. It's a bit faded now actually."

"Yeah, but that's a cool scar. Mine is just from stupid chicken pox," Trish grumbled. Then, she lifted her head. "What about those though? The dot-dot ones both you and Jon have? They're not from chicken pox too, right? They're really big."

"Oh, these?" Martin said, running his hand over the pockmark scars on his face and arms.

"Yeah. How did the both of you get it? It looks really bad…" Trish frowned. "What kind is it?"

"Um… yeah," Jon said. "It... It was a… bad disease."

Martin sighed. "It was an office-wide infection. From when Jon and I worked in the same place." He then switched the subject by showing a long scar he had on his finger. "Oh, Trish, look at this one. Guess how I got this one? It was kind of dumb. I got it when I was, I think, 5 years old? I stuck my finger into the fan."

Trish scrunched her face. "Why did you do that?!" she shouted. "What if it got chopped off?"

"I don't know to be honest. I was five, Trish. I wasn't a very smart five-year-old."

"Five-year-olds generally aren't very smart," she assured Martin, who threw his head back and laughed.

They continued to talk about scars and dumb injuries for the rest of the afternoon. And by the time Trish went home, she realised that even if the scars remained in the end, she wouldn't be that upset.

***

As Martin’s knee got better, he began to join Jon’s grocery trips more often. The marketplace got a little bit more noisy on the days Martin went with Jon.

Firstly, Martin and the fruit seller seemed to have this bit that involved making fun of Jon, even though Trish didn’t necessarily understand most of the jokes. (For some reason, Martin likes to make fun of Jon for liking peaches.)

Then, Martin had what Jon called “itchy fingers'', which meant that Martin liked touching things he wasn’t supposed to. There was this one time when Martin had decided to poke something pink on the side of a carton, which turned out to be used gum. “You’d think you’d grow out of touching things unnecessarily, Martin,” Jon reprimanded as he dragged his husband to the toilet to wash his hands.

Trish just thought they were quite funny.

Sometimes, she would be with Da for groceries when she bumped into them. On those days, Da would talk to them about grown-up stuff that Trish had no hope of understanding. But it was fine since, with Martin at the front seat most of the time, this meant that Trish can lean to her side and whisper to Jon.

Sometimes, Trish would see Jon and Martin walking around together in the neighbourhood. More often than not, Martin joined Jon on his daily trips to the market, and they would slowly walk hand-in-hand. It was during those times that Jon most often had a smile on his face, and at times bursting into uproarious laughter.

Sometimes, Trish would dash over to greet them. People often told Trish that she was a bit too chatty for her own good. But around those two, she felt that maybe it was alright to talk a bit more because Martin would always smile warmly at Trish as she talked about the frog she found on the side of the road or about her stupid homework assignment. Jon, on the other hand, often had something to add to whatever Trish was saying, be it with questions or a weird trivia of his own.

Of course, there were days where Trish was far too busy to call out to them. It was highly impractical to rush out to them during a game of Hide-and-Seek.

Sometimes though, the two of them would walk especially close to each other, and they’d be whispering, or at least, one of them would be. There were times when Martin looked greyer than usual, and his gaze would be distant even as he ran his fingers along railings, fences, or any surface available. Other times, Jon would look rattled, his eyes darting about and breaths shallow. The non-cane-wielding hand would not be holding Martin’s on those days, instead, it would be tracing the scar over his neck, or twisting his hair in a quiet frenzy.

And then, sometimes, they would sit together on the park bench, holding hands and whispering and chuckling to themselves.

Those were the days when Trish knew better than to disturb them.

#tma #the magnus archives #magpod #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #nb jon #fanfic #my writing #canon divergent #cos ofc theyll grow old tgt after the apocalypse #im not in denial ;-;

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procrastinatorimagines · 5 years ago

Text

I Only Have Eyes For You

Fandom: Chicago Med / One Chicago

Character/s: Connor Rhodes x Reader,

Warning/s: none

Word Count: 3,162

Request: Hi there, can I get an imagine for reader x Connor Rhodes. Lightly based upon 01x03 Fallback where Connor treats on one of his father's employees and his father tried to take him off the case. So like the reader and Connor are married (got married during their residency) and the father flirts with reader who also works at med not knowing that's his son's wife as he didn't think someone like Connor could snag a girl like the reader. The ending is up to you. Thank you x

“Maybe you should talk to him,” you suggested, putting your hand on your husband, Connor’s, shoulder as he stared distantly into his locker, his mind clearly elsewhere.

“I don’t want to talk to him Y/N, I’ve barely spoken to him in years,” Connor sighed, slamming his locker closed and turning to face you. He hadn’t expect to see his dad today, heading into Med behind an ambulance basically demanding to speak to Miss Goodwin and his son at once. Connor had been in surgery at the start of shift so he hadn’t actually come face to face with the man yet, but it was only a matter of time.

“Well now might be your chance, he is in the ED afterall,” you reminded him and he rubbed his face with his hands. It had been a long surgery, starting off the last shift of a very long week, and you knew the last thing your husband wanted was to talk to his father, but maybe he needed to.

“He’s downstairs because one of his employees got hurt on the job and he’s trying to do damage control before a lawsuit is filed, he isn’t here to see me,” Connor all but snapped, his face softening when he realised and squeezing your hand apologetically. There had been some kind of mishap at one of his stores from what you could gather, and one of Cornelius’ workers had found himself practically crushed under a bit of the structure that wasn’t as up to code as it should be.

“I get that, really Connor I do, I’m just saying that while he’s here, maybe you should talk to him, even if it’s just to say your piece,” you tried, knowing that Connor still had a lot of baggage surrounding his father, baggage that had been putting a bit of a strain on your marriage, or more specifically, any discussion of having children. Getting things off of his chest might be the only way for him to move forward, you reasoned.

“I have nothing to say to him, Y/N, he’s the parent, not me, it shouldn’t be on me to be the bigger person,” Connor replied, and he was right, but damn if the Rhodes men weren’t the most stubborn men you’d ever met.

“But you are the bigger person, the better person-” you began, knowing that Connor was ten times the man his father was, and maybe it was about time Cornelius Rhodes saw that for himself, but you were starting to realise that you were crossing a line as Connor interrupted you.

“Y/N, the last time I tried to reach out to my father he decided he’d rather go on a business trip than attend his own son’s wedding,” he said, the bitter undertones very clear as you remembered how crushed he’d been. No matter how bad their relationship was, and even if he wouldn’t admit it, you knew Connor still loved his father, and for him to not show up to his own wedding had broken his heart. “Baby he’s never even met you, and that’s that on him, he’s made his priorities perfecrly clear.” he continued, cupping your face in his hands.

“Okay, okay,” you nodded, realising you weren’t getting anywhere with this conversation, “do you want me to drop it?” It was what you always asked each other when it seemed like you were going to have an argument, or whether you weren’t sure if you’d crossed a line in a conversation, you tried to respect each others boundaries as much as possible.

“Please, I know you’re trying to help but my relationship with my father is basically unsalvageable, and I’m moving forward,” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, he was trying hard to make you believe him but you both knew you really didn’t, this wasn’t the kind of thing you just moved forward from.

“If you’re sure, he won’t be around forever,” you gave it one last try before letting it go for now, telling yourself you’d broach the subject again at a later date.

“I know, and I am,” he said, giving you a quick kiss before pulling away and grabbing his stethescope off of the table next to you, “thank you, though,” he added.

“For what?” You asked finally closing your own locker.

“For being so very you,” he smiled, a genuine smile this time as he looked back to you, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you replied, kissing his again as your phone vibrated in your pocket. Stepping back you fished it out, seeing a text from Will. “Oh that’s me, Will wants me in three to help with Mr Harris,” you explained to Connor as you both headed out the door towards the ED.

“My father’s guy?” Connor realised, opening the door for you and letting you out first as you checked over the message; apparently Cornelius was demanding a second opinion, clearly not satisfied by Will’s, but you decided not to tell Connor that right now.

“Yeah that’s the one,” you nodded, slipping the phone back into your pocket before he could see the rest of the text as you noticed Maggie signalling for you to hurry it along, that couldn’t be good.

“Good luck, you’re gonna need it,” Connor noted Maggie’s impatient gestures as you picked up the pace.

“You’re all the luck I need,” you joked, winking at him as you parted ways, Dr Latham needed him upstairs in 5 for a consult, a fact which he was more than happy with since he was supposed to be working the ED all day.

“Ooh cheesy, go on get out of here,” Connor laughed as you waved your goodbyes, heading to three.

Maggie met you half way and handed you Mr Harris’ chart, looking irritated.

“Everything okay?” You asked, noting the angry voices you could now hear coming from the room to your right, the curtains not providing much in the way of sound proofing, not that you thought Cornelius cared much.

“How Connor turned out the way he did with a father like that is beyond me,” Maggie told you quietly as you quickly flipped through the chart, “he’s been demanding this, that and the other since he got here, and now he thinks Dr Halstead’s not telling Mr Harris all his option because he just wants to ‘extort him for more money’,” she mimicked in a hushed tone as you rolled you eyes, it’s not like he couldn’t afford it anyway, you thought, but there was something about having more money that made some people think they were so damn entitled...

Putting on your best cordial smile you pulled back the curtain and entered, the men stopping in their heated conversation as you did, frozen on some discussion about cost. Will did his best to hide his relieved look when he saw you and Cornelius grumbled in frustration, completely unaware he was standing face to face with his daughter-in-law for the first time.

“Everything okay in here?” You asked, looking between the two men on their feet and the tired, slightly embarrassed, looking man in the hospital bed.

“Terrific sweetheart,” Cornelius retorted sarcastically and you internally rolled your eyes. Externally, you kept your features schooled and looked to the patient in the bed.

“Hi Mr Harris, my name is Doctor Y/L/N,” you told him, having kept your last name when you’d married Connor, a fact you were pretty glad about right now. You offered your hand and he shook it gratefully.

“Pleasure,” he said as you stepped back, facing Cornelius Rhodes as he rubbed his temple before looking to you, taking you in for the first time as he straightened his posture and cleared his throat.

“Cornelius Rhodes, it’s lovely to meet you,” he offered his hand and you shook it, the way he was looking at you making your skin crawl a little as he finally let go. “I was just discussing with your collegue over here the best treatment for my man here, and we seem to be having a disagreement,” the way his demeanor had changed in your presence was alarming, and Will was clearly taken aback by it too, he’d gone from demanding to charming in the blink of an eye.

“I see, well from reading Mr Harris’ chart it’s clear that there are only two option available, the impact seems to have done some internal damage that, while it might heal on its own over time, will most likely require surgery,” you explained in your perfected doctor voice as Will threw you a grateful glance. Cornelius clenched his jaw as he tried to maintain his own facade, pretending to mull over your words even though you knew Will would have said basically the same thing, and that Cornelius had already made up his mind.

“Surgery really is the best option Mr Harris,” Will told the patient, but instead of replying he looked back to Cornelius, the man who would be paying for either option no doubt. The surgery would be expensive, you knew that, and it grated you to know that the fate of this man’s life possibly rested on the greed of Cornelius Rhodes. Could Connor talk some sense into him? You mused to yourself as he began to answer.

“I understand your concern,” he said finally, addressing you alone, a far cry from the accusations of greed he’d thrown at Will before you arrived, “but that kind of surgery is not only expensive, but the recovery time would put him out of work, and he wouldn’t want that.” You hid your grimace as Mr Harris nodded, clearly feeling like he had to agree.

“I have deadlines coming up,” he spoke up as Cornelius gestured to him as if to say, see, there you have it, settled, as you did your best to maintain your friendly face.

“I understand where you’re coming from Mr Rhodes,” you lied, regreting ever trying to get Connor to patch things up with this vile, self-serving man. He didn’t deserve Connor for a son. “But if we leave it and it gets worse, the surgery will be much more invasive and expensive further down the line, not to mention the high risk and potential complications,” Mr Harris paled a little, but still waited for Cornelius to answer.

Seriously? He could sue this man and yet he was still scared of him, the man probably had no means of paying for the court bills that would require anyway, he needed Cornelius’ paychecks to keep a roof over his head. And he was making decisions about his life like he was a god damn asset and not a person.

“Well, that would be unfortunate,” Cornelius pondered and Will looked like he was close to losing it. It was no secret he prioritised his patients over all else, even their own wishes sometimes, and it was also no secret he’d never liked Cornelius Rhodes.

“Mr Rhodes-” Mr Harris voiced up but he was shushed, the other man still thinking. You didn’t know whether you or Will were closer to punching the man, Mr Harris clearly wanting to have the surgery now in fear of more severe future complications. If Cornelius wasn’t such an arrogant-

“Alright, if you thinking it will save money in the future- and more important of course Joseph’s well-being, then I suppose we could do the surgery,” he decided and Mr Harris sighed in relief. Cornelius smiled smugly, like he’d done something so generous, it made you sick to your stomach.

You consciously twisted the wedding ring on your finger as Will fetched the paperwork and soon Mr Harris was being wheeled off to wait for his surgery in a room upstairs, clearing the bay in the ED for the next patient. Will was more than happy to take the next person through the doors as you finalised the paperwork with Maggie, scheduling in his surgery in the system.

Connor texted you then as Cornelius was practically stalking towards you at the desks. He was letting you know that he was finished with Dr Latham and had thought about what you’d said, and maybe it was a good idea to talk to his father before he left. He’d be coming down any minute, but before you could reply Cornelius had reached you at the desks, a predatory look in his eyes that set off your fight or flight response.

“Dr Y/LN,” he grinned and you returned a polite and professional smile as he invaded your personal space, looking you up and down in a way that was so not okay, even if you weren’t his son’s wife. “Thank you for your help in there, your input was very... refreshing.”

“Of course, I was just doing my job, I’m glad Mr Harris is able to get the treatment he needs,” you replied tightly, realising that this conversation was far from over as he continued talking.

“It was the least I could you,” he said, seeming to take your statement as some kind of thanks or compliment to his ‘generosity’. “Say, how about you and me grab a coffee in the cafeteria so you can explain more about how this procedure works, on me of course. If you’re busy now, maybe after you finish work?” As he finished talking he inched closer to you, eyeing you suggestively.

Was he making a pass at you? Was this actually happening right now? You blinked in shock and it took you a second for your brain to process what was happening before you could answer him.

“Mr Rhodes, I’m flattered” you began and he grinned, like he already had it figured out that you were going to say yes even though you were far from actually flattered, “and while I would be happy to discuss your employee’s treatment with you in a professional manner, I’m... I’m married,” you explained, flashing your ring at him, the ring that his son had put on your finger.

“Well I don’t see him around anywhere,” Cornelius winked at you and you took an instinctive step back, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, probably the latter if you were honest. “He’d never know.”

“Oh I’m certain he would,” a voice said from behind you and you turned to see Connor heading towards you both, anger clear on his face as he looked from you to his father.

“And why’s that?” Cornelius asked defiantly, practically looking down his nose at his son, clearly not getting the hint from what he had said about who your husband was.

“Because I am her husband,” Connor said definitely, standing next to your side as you relaxed, feeling instantly better in his presence. Cornelius balked a little, he really had had no idea who you were this entire time. It took him a second to regain his composure but when he did, instead of opting for the apology you’d expect from any normal person, he did the exact opposite, actually defending his slimy actions.

“How was I supposed to know that?” He huffed like he wasn’t invited to your wedding, when he’d made the decision to not come of his own accord. Connor put a protective hand on the small of your back, aware you were drawing a bit of attention as April had paused her typing on the computer.

“Well, dad, maybe if you’d come to our wedding, or our anniversary, or any of my birthdays, you would have known that Y/N’s been my wife for the past three and a half years,” Connor’s voice wasn’t raised but you could tell he was getting more and more aggitated by this encounter. He wouldn’t have liked anyone making a move on his wife, let alone his own father.

Cornelius had the nerve to chuckle at that, “honestly I’m just surprised a boy like you could wrangle a woman like this,” he said as you clenched your jaw, so many parts of that sentence rubbing you the wrong was. You could tell Connor felt the same, his stance very defensive as you replied.

"What is that supposed to mean?” You demanded before Connor could speak, Cornelius’ eyes snapping to you like he’d forgotten you were an actual person and not just an object to fight over. “What about me and Connor is so surprising to you?”

“Honestly, you could do better.” he said matter-of-factly and you rolled your eyes, any appearance of a professional facade gone as you faced your father-in-law.

Now it was Connor’s turn to laugh, but it was a dry laugh as he said: “and what, you think your ‘better’?” Cornelius shrugged, the look on his face telling you that that was in fact what he meant. Connor shook his head in disbelief, the first time he was seeing his father in a long time and all of his reservations and fears were being entirely justified as he stood before the two of you.

It was time to end this, you decided, folding your arms and squaring up to Cornelius. “Better? The man who’d rather save money than a man’s life, who thinks it’s appropriate to not only hit on a woman while she’s at work, but to blatantly tell her to... cheat on her husband when she tries to politely tell you she’s not interested. Connor’s a good man, a much much better man than you, inspite of the fact that your raised him, and he doesn’t owe you another second of his time, neither of us do.” You took a breath as both Rhodes men blinked at you in shock. “Now, Mr Rhodes if you’ll excuse us we actually have jobs to be doing, I’d be happy to have somebody escort you to where you can wait,” you finished, seeing April grin out the corner of you eye as Cornelius got a little flustered, clearly not used to anyone, especially women you reckoned, putting him in his place.

“I’m had enough of trying to reach out to you, I felt like I still had something to prove to you, like it was on me to mend what was broken between us. But you’re not worth it dad, you’re just not worth it. We’re done here, stay away from me, and definitely stay away from my wife,” Connor told his father, gesturing with his head for security to come show him to the waiting room.

“Oh this is far from over,” Cornelius raised his voice, pointing his finger at his son as security reached you. But Connor didn’t waiver, clear for the first time as he just looked at his father, shaking his head before turning to walk away. Everything that needed to be said had been said, and he was finally ready to walk away from his father, quite literally in this case as you went to follow your husband.

This wound would never go away entirely, but now, maybe, you really could move forward.

#connor rhodes #chicago med #one chicago #connor rhodes imagine #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes imagines #chicago med imagine #chicago med imagines #connor rhodes one shot #chicago med one shot #one chicago imagine #one chicago imagines #one chicago one shot #one shot

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katehuntington · 5 years ago

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Help little foal Phoenix

I’ve received a few worried messages, asking why I’ve been so quiet. It’s safe to say that I had reason for my retreat. Long story short, I need your help more than ever. Not for me, but for Phoenix.

As most of you know, my horse Evy gave birth to Phoenix earlier this spring. He’s a big foal and is growing fast, but this also comes with a consequence. Because of his rapid growth when he was still in his mother's womb, his bones developed faster than his tendons could stretch. Together with the vet and the farrier we did the best we could to correct his feet and encourage Phoenix to stretch his legs, but his hooves grew steep either way. After consulting with two clinics, we have come to the conclusion that it's in his best interest to operate. This will prevent injuries, and will hopefully grant him a pain-free and healthy future. Thankfully, the success rate of the type of surgery is very high (you can find more details about the surgery through the GoFundMe link). The whole operation, including recovery time in the clinic, will roughly cost € 800,-- and will take place in two weeks. It raises one problem; the financial picture. Corona virus has hit my business hard and I was unable to go to work and make any money for three months. My savings were long gone, since last year's foal Obsidian fell ill when he was only a month old. After ten days in the clinic, numerous of examinations and even a CT scan, I had to decide to let Obi go.

This all has done a bang up job on my mental state, and it just keeps stacking up. With my current income the only way to pay for the surgery is either by selling a kidney or hoping for a miracle. He will have it, though. I don’t care what it takes, come Hell of high water, but I’m hoping I can share the load.

What can you do?

You can reblog and signal boost this post. Let everyone on Tumblr know how much the help is needed.

You can go to Phoenix’s GoFundMe page and if you’re able to donate. It doesn’t matter how small the amount, every penny counts at the moment.

If you can’t help me financially, that’s okay. Please don’t feel bad. I love you all dearly and I’m forever thankful for all the support I receive from you guys on daily base.

What will I give back in return?

For one, my forever lasting gratitude. It doesn’t matter how you help, it means the world to me that you do.

I will update on his status and recovery with photo and film.

I will do my very best to write as much as my mental health allows me, especially Ride With Me, the story inspired by the majestic animals this fundraiser is meant to help.

Phoenix stands for hope. He is named after a mythical bird of fire, which after death rises from the ashes. I want to help him and give him a good start in life, but for that, he needs this surgery. Will you help our little firecracker out? It would mean the world to us.

Thank you, Kate

Help little foal Phoenix - GoFundMe

(tags below the cut)

Follow Forevers:

@afangirlsbubble @alexwinchester23 @amandatar-06 @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @becs-bunker @couldabeenamermaid @cpag7 @deanwanddamons @defenderrosetyler @emoryhemsworth @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @flamencodiva @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @heartsaved @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @indecisive20something @itmighthavebeenintentional @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @kittenofdoomage @linki-locks11 @magssteenkamp @malfoysqueen14 @mariekoukie6661 @mlovesstories @mogaruke @mrswhozeewhatsis @nerdwholikesword @posiemax @ruprecht0420 @sandlee44 @spnbaby-67 @superfanficnatural @super-not-naturall @talesmaniac89 @team-free-will-you-idjiot @teresa-67 @theyaremyveryownthoughts @tumbler-tidbits @ultimatecin73 @unlikelygalaxygiver @voltage-my2dlove @vxxn128 @waywardbeanie @whatareyousearchingfordean @winchest09

#Help Little Foal Phoenix #signal boost #GoFundMe #horses #fundraiser #donations

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megthemewlingquim · 4 years ago

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Darling, You’ll Be Fine

Summary: You receive a letter that tells you the date of a surgery you have to get, and you hyperventilate. Loki is there to ground you.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: anxiety, descriptions of surgery and hospitals, borderline anxiety attack, hurt/comfort, fluff

A/N: I am not ashamed to say that this is entirely written for myself. This is one that I will need in about a week or so, so I’m writing it now to help myself. And, hopefully, anyone else who needs this.

You shuffle through the mail, seeing bill after bill. A letter from a college that somehow still thinks you’re applying. Then, a plain white envelope, with your doctor’s office on the top left hand corner.

Your stomach sinks. This is the confirmation letter, you think, your hands beginning to tremble. You open the letter, practically tearing the envelope open with two fingers, and take out the paper.

We have sent this confirmation that you will be having your operation done next week, Friday September 18th.

As you read, you feel more and more sick to your stomach. You really shouldn’t, because this is a normal procedure, one you have done every three years, but you do. You feel like you’re going to vomit, especially when you think of the procedure itself.

There won’t be any pain, save for the tiny, baby-sized needle going into your arm. The doctors are going to do their job, then wake you up. You’ll have to spend an hour or so in the recovery room, then you’ll go home.

So... why are you so nervous?

You think of the hospital room, the gown that can never fully cover your backside, the forever cold floors. The anesthesia.

Your breathing is shuddered, spasmodic. Tears form very quickly, and threaten to spill over, though you don’t feel any sobs coming up. Your eyes shut very, very tight, your hands setting the letter down and coming up to grasp at your face and your nails practically digging into your skin.

You hear a pleasant whistling coming from the hallway behind you. Loki’s singing voice is deeper but more melodic than you’d think, and his whistling is no different.

It stops, abruptly.

“What — what’s the matter?” Loki sounds pained, worried.

You offer him no answer. You don’t even think you’ll be able to stand up in a few minutes. All you do is sniff, cough once, and inhale shakily.

He all but rushes to you, but stops when he gets close.

“Can I touch you?”

You nod, clenching your fists and gritting your teeth. Wordlessly, he turns you around, and takes one of your hands in his. He brings it up to his lips, kisses it slowly, and draws you into his arms.

He's warm. Warm and alive and you can feel his heartbeat from where your head rests. You bury your face into his chest, still breathing hard.

"Oh, little one..." he whispers. He's leaning forward a little, probably reading the letter. His hand moves to glide across your back in smooth up and down motions. His other arm is wrapped around your waist with a slightly firmer grip than normal — he must sense how weak your knees are.

He shushes you, his voice a whisper. "You're not going to worry about this. Not here, not now. I hate to see you upset like this. It pains me... We're going to the living room. You need to lie down.

"Hold onto me, okay?" he asks in your ear, and you nod. He hoists you up, carrying you as if you're a little child. Your head is now nestled into the crook of his neck.

It doesn't last for long, though, not in the air. Loki takes you to is what you don't know to be the living room, sets you down gently onto the couch, and gets a blanket for you. He's back almost immediately, draping it over you and sitting down himself.

"You're still shaking... and your eyes are still closed... Would you like to lay down with me? Would that help?"

One small, shaky breath. "Yes."

"There's a love. Okay. Here we go."

He takes you, moving you to lay on the inside of the couch, so you're in between the back cushions and Loki himself. It's your favorite spot to be, because you're surrounded by softness and warmth and comfort on either side.

His arms go around you once again, and a kiss lingers on your temple.

"I'm here," he whispers. "I'm here and you don't have to worry about what's going to happen. Just relax your entire being, darling. Can you do that?

"Breathe in and out, deeply and slowly. Let your mind stop its racing, let your heart quit its pounding. Just be. Be here with me."

It takes you a long while, but Loki is patient with you. Your breathing eventually becomes more balanced, and your hands relax as well.

Lastly, you open your eyes.

"There's my dove, good girl. Hello, sweetheart." Loki sounds sad, but a little happy, too. "You're coming back to me.

"You needn't worry about anything right now." The air is heavy, but so are your eyelids. "I've got you. I'm going to keep you safe, okay? You're with me... and I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here, holding you to me."

He hums something, but you don't recognize the tune. It does calm your nerves, though, and helps you breathe easier.

"I love you, my dearest. We're going to take this one day at a time until Friday. It'll be alright."

This — being still with your beloved — is enough.

#loki of asgard #loki #loki (marvel)#loki x reader #loki fanfic #marvel headcanons #marvel asks #marvel

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memes-saved-me · 4 years ago

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Billy was barely conscious most of the time, the pain medication sending him into deep sleep or making him drift in and out. On a good day Steve would visit and sneak him some junk food and they would sit and talk for an hour or so before he had to request morphine to stop the aches and the pain, which was becoming more excruciating. He thought for a while he would get used to it, that it would fade and he would be out of here in no time. Modern medicine and all that but it had been a month and his body wasn't healing. His lungs couldn't breathe on their own, his skin was burned and blistered, his body rejecting the new organs and for 22 hours of the day he wasn't even awake.

Being asleep didn't mean he was resting. No, he was trapped in never ending and inescapable nightmares that seemed to last forever until the drugs wore off and he was pulled back into the land of the living.

On a bad day, Steve would walk into his room and find him asleep. Nothing but the sound of his death rattle breathing and machines filling the air as he shut the door. He would sit there for as long as he could, hold his hand and try to memorise his face. Every little detail he needed to commit to memory incase....

It was September 3rd when Steve pulled up to the hospital to see Neil's truck parked. A vehicle that instantly instilled fear in him from months of slipping out of windows or hiding under Billy's bed. But, the fact he was here now sent something even worse running through him, something that sent him running towards the bushes to empty his guts onto the soil.

Steve had met, well seen Neil Hargrove once in his life. It was on June 15th, he remembered it exactly because it was the day he witnessed what kind of monster this man really was. So, as he walked down the hall to see him speaking to Billy's doctor, Susan standing close by with a tissue and tears in her eyes he didn't ask. Didn't interact, he walked straight past them and into Billy's room. Which was completely and utterly silent...

No machines or horrific sounding breathing, nothing but the sound of distant conversation and discussion could be heard as Steve approached the bed. He was so still, as if he was just asleep and for a second. A far too optimistic second, Steve convinced himself he had made a recovery and was simply sleeping without the assistance of drugs and machines.

But, he knew for sure when he touched his hand and it was cold, not freezing like they say in books or crime shows. Just cold. The tears began before he had let go, before he walked around to sit at his seat and run his hand over his scarred pale cheek. The pain in his chest tightening as he looked at his calm expression. No pain, no fear or exhaustion. It was all gone and left was a sort of bittersweet peace that washed over Steve suddenly.

That was when he heard running coming from the hall, the distinct sound of trainers on lino flooring and then suddenly Max was standing in the door way. Hair pulled into a quick and messy ponytail, her face showing the realisation that all of this was real. Very real.

Except, she didn't fall to her knees or begin to sob uncontrollably like Steve was as she walked towards the bed slowly. No, she took his hand and stood there watching him. Staring at his closed eyes as if he would open them as he did when Steve dragged his body out of the Mall and handed him over to the paramedics who somehow got a pulse and rushed him here to this building.

The building he had slept in for the week following, refusing to leave until he woke up. Every moment until his eyelashes fluttered open felt like the one when Steve saw him hit the ground, cold and struggling to breathe. Except, this wasn't like that. No. Billy wasn't covered in blood and dirt or gasping for breath, he was just still. Cold and still.

Max didn't speak, not even when the nurse who knew exactly who Steve was came in to tell him that he had simply slipped away during the night. That they had tried to resuscitate him but he was already gone. He wasn't on medication or asleep when it happened either, that he was fully himself that day. That is was a good day.

He nodded and stayed, Max did too. They stayed until he had to be moved and even after that Steve couldn't make himself drive out of the parking lot. It just wasn't fair. None of this was far, the fact Neil found out first, that he wasn't there and that he had him again. Billy was alive and he was safe, he was free of that thing and yet...he was gone.

Steve didn't leave his house until a week two days later when the service was taking place. He stood far away, under a tree until everyone left and he walked up to see the head stone himself.

William Hargrove

That was it.

After that he walked home and sat on the front step until the sky turned dark and the now cooler air sent him inside to the bottom step of the staircase. It wasn't fair, none of this was.

A week later there was a knock at the door and he knew it was Robin. That she was worried and needed him to come back to work. That he needed to come back. She stood there with a hand full of mail which she gave him and told him to call her tonight or she would be back.

He threw the pile of envelopes on the dining table and one fell to the floor, the one that simply read his name is large written letters above the address. The handwriting instantly recognisable. Steve swooped down and gragged it, carefully opened it and pulled out the lined piece of paper.

My Pretty Boy,

Well I never thought I'd be writing you a letter that didn't include a Polaroid of my junk but I don't have a camera and you already have a bunch of those so. But anyway if you're reading this then chances are I'm gone. Which is why I've sent you this.

I know you'll be moping around and feeling sorry for yourself but stop that. I mean it! I'll come back and ruin all your precious vhs tapes if you don't. Me being gone isn't a bad thing Steve. I thought when I looked up at that thing and saw you fighting up on that floor that I would never see you again but then I woke up and you were right there. Then you were always right there.

I got more time to hear that dumb laugh of yours and that is all I needed to get through the pain and the surgeries. But I'm writing this because they didn't work and that's okay. I know it's not long now and so do you really. I see it in your face when you leave or when you read my chart because you're a nosy bastard.

The fact I got to see that face of yours for more than 2 minutes is all I could ever have asked for. And I know I would never say this shit to your face but you saved me Steve and I'm not talking at the Mall. I wouldn't have held on if it wasn't for you and the chance to see you again. Without you that thing would have won and I need you to know that.

But enough of the sappy shit. You better marry some hot chick or bang some good looking guys before you come see me. I'm not having you going all moping widow. I mean give it a month or so for my sake but don't hold onto me like some life line that'll turn up one day and fix everything. It doesn't work like that and I won't have it. None of them will ever be as good as me anyway so you may as well get some while I wait for you wherever I end up.

This would be longer but you're due any minute now because you can't help but be on time. I might be gone but like I said that's okay Steve.

I love you Steve Harrington and I always will. Now go and live your life because I if you don't I will come and kick your ass or I will when you get here. I'm gonna miss you Bambi but if this universe is even the slightest bit fair I'll see you again but it better not be soon.

Billy xxx

And just for good measure in the bottom right corner were two badly drawn stick men having sex. One with curls and the other with a greatly exaggerated quiff.

Steve cried but he couldn't help smile as he read that idiots letter over and over again until he fell asleep with it pressed to his chest. He couldn't help but slip it in his pocket as he left for work two days later because he couldn't have his vhs tapes getting ruined, his parents would kill him.

#idk what this is #but I CRIED writing it #i hate myself for letting this happen #like wow #I've never fully cried at my own writing but jesus #tw: death #tw: angst #tw billy hargrove death #Billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #wow #fic #also I didn't proof read this so

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