#all she did was be nice and make wonderful art and be talented as fuck

[transfemyoungblood]

get behind me brei grace 🤺🤺🤺

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Joan Crawford (Dancing Lady, Mildred Pierce, The Women)— God, where do I start!!! Her face is so UNIQUE and compelling and stands out so much. I love her thick brows and high cheekbones. She has a school-marmy hardness too her that makes her a little scary and therefore sexy. Her low thick voice also does it for me. Despite being an unusual looking woman with an unusual face, she never loses her glamour. Just a gorgeous talented actress, AND she was some sort of gay!!!

Priscilla Lane (Arsenic and Old Lace, Saboteur, The Roaring Twenties)— I see Priscilla Lane in Arsenic and Old Lace every year during my Halloween rewatch, and I always love watching her. She had a rubber-face for comedy, while still looking adorable no matter what funny face she’s making. She seems to have had a slightly fuller mouth than was the thin-lipped vogue at the time, and every time she pouts at her forgetful new husband, she looks so gosh-darn kissable that you understand completely why Cary Grant is so wild to get her on the train to Niagra for crazy honeymoon sex. No wonder this movie nearly got Hayes coded for the newlyweds being too hot for each other.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Joan Crawford:

I just love women that are very mean.

she was a smoke show in every decade, from the 20s to the 60s.

The classic matronly beauty with amazing eyebrows

of course there's a space for MILF joan but i want to just take a second and say she was so cute in her early movies (like grand hotel and the women)! those parts often get forgotten but her stardom shines in them just as much as in her older #queen #icon roles

Misremembered for wire hanger hatred, this original screen queen mastered the art of the comeback and refused to let Hollywood toss her aside as she aged. The term “auteur” is usually revered for directors or writer-directors, but most critics have one actor they’ll give that title to as well: Crawford—anyone who knows classic movies already has a “Crawford picture” in their head. She knew how to style herself and promote herself. She made herself a star and kept herself fixated in the Hollywood firmament. What’s hotter than knowing just how hot you are?

(don��t think about Mommie Dearest right now) Joan was known for being super nice to all the like crew of the movies she worked on and she’d get everyone gifts. Joan would hold movie nights at her house and knit at the back of her home theater. Joan was sooo obsessed with other women including Greta Garbo, whos dressing room she would obsessively and purposefully walk by. She said that while working on Grand Hotel, Garbo grabbed her face and “if there ever was a time in my life where I would’ve been a lesbian, that was it.” But like Joan also probably did sleep with women including Barbara Stanwyck. Joan was so obsessed with Bette Davis, screening multiple movies of hers in a day at her watch party, constantly trying to spend time with her or do a movie together, insisting on the dressing room next to hers at Warners and sending her daily gifts… etc. Once Bette said that sex was gods joke to humanity and Joan said “I think the joke is on her.” Joan fucked a lot. Joan got caught publicly fucking a man and sent a letter to the woman who saw them basically saying “I bet it excited you” and the woman was like you know what. It did. Joan was best friends with a gay man. Joan was an actually genuinely good actress even though people mocked her a lot for being like cheap and stupid (partially because she never finished school because her family was broke). Joan was so insane and so cool that’s all.

Priscilla Lane:

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 7: The Way Out of the Mountains

People, the fact that I'm using a generic image here is a failure on the part of the fandom. There should be art of this incredibly tiny chapter and its delightful moment! But Google finds nothing. This is outrageous! Great news, everyone! The wonderfully talented @pien-art did in fact make fan art and is even willing to let me use it on my silly little post. My unspoken plans to balefire you all are hereby put on pause. Please go check out their blog for more art!

Also, if you hate spoilers, this whole post is outrageous because I'm going to spoil everything about The Wheel of Time because I can!

This chapter starts with a Flame of Tar Valon icon because Moiraine goes fishing.

Lan spent most of his time scouting their path on his black warhorse, Mandarb, following Rand’s tracks as the rest of them followed the signs the Warder left for them. An arrow of stones laid out on the ground, or one lightly scratched in the rock wall of a forking pass.

Lan and Mandarb get all the more impressive when you consider that in addition to leading the way, he's probably also doubling around them (unnoticed by Perrin) and clearing out the signs he leaves behind so no one else can follow.

Her reply was always very much the same. “If you cannot move any faster than this, perhaps I should send you off to Myrelle before you get any older. Well, perhaps that can wait, but you must move us faster.”

Moiraine, I love you but what the fuck? Lan is doing an incredible job and you're joking about sending him off to get raped because it's not good enough for you.

“No day soon,” Lan said, and surprisingly, there was open anger in his voice. “Never, if I can help it. You will outlive me long, Moiraine Aes Sedai!”

She probably will, but how much longer, I wonder. Did the Finn steal her longevity when they stole her strength, or will she still age according to the power level she was born with? If the former, then she might not even have two centuries of lifespan in her. (Also note how touchy Lan is, to use such a formal address.)

“As difficult as that?” Moiraine murmured. Her hands slipped into the water—and a moment later came out with a splash, holding a fat trout that thrashed the surface. She laughed with delight as she tossed it up onto the bank.

Perrin thinks it's luck because Perrin is very, very silly. Also he doesn't know that she's best friends with a former fisherwoman.

Perrin thought about reminding her that whoever took the fish was supposed to clean them, too, but just at that moment she caught his eye. There was no particular expression on her smooth face, but her dark eyes did not waver, and they appeared to know what he was going to say, and to have dismissed it out of hand already.

Perrin, be grateful that the nice witch caught you a huge dinner. Another problem with not communicating is that of course Moiraine is probably doing useful magic tricks like this all the time with exactly as much fanfare and while effortlessly keeping her composure so Perrin has no idea that as far as the party dynamics are concerned, he and to a lesser degree Loial are the potential dead weight.

“I doubt she sees it that way. First she had to put up with Rand arguing with her all the time, and now you’re ready to take over for him. As a rule, Aes Sedai do not let anyone argue with them. I expect she means to have us back in the habit of doing what she says by the time we reach the first village.”

Loial's probably got a point too about Moiraine's Aes Sedai pride influencing her behavior. She likely strongly feels that she fucked up by giving Rand too much independence (even though really the boy needs as much as he can get) and is aiming for damage control by being extra shitty about things to Lan and Perrin as well.

Loial gave in to it as inevitable, but not Perrin. He tried refusing, resisting, but it was hard to resist when she made a reasonable suggestion, and a small one at that. Only there was always another suggestion behind it, as reasonable and small as the first, and then another. The simple force of her presence, the strength of her gaze, made it difficult to protest.

Perrin is getting worked over like he's saidar and it's a little funny.

He accused her of using the One Power on him, though he did not really think that was it, and she told him not to be a fool.

It is indeed very unlikely that she's Compelling him when she's just so good at social engineering.

The wolves should not have been there. Wolves avoided places where men were, but Perrin could still sense them, an unseen screen and escort ringing the mounted party.

The wolves are of course sticking around because Noam's also in the area.

Short chapter, huh? Next time: Fourteen hundred weddings and no funerals!

[everythingseasoning]

hello! i have questions for you i’m wondering about! you can answer them if your comfortable ^.^

what are your pronouns?

do you have a favorite drink?

pet peeves?

do you have any talents?

what song is on repeat now?

what got you into jjk?

are you in a relationship?

any allergies?

favorite color?

HELLO ! I LOVE QUESTIONS !!! (I’m very excitedly typing)

Pronouns - she/they! Lately one of my profs has been referring to me as “she” and … well … it doesn’t feel quite right, but for me personally I don’t care that much if people use she/her towards me. Sometimes I refer to myself as she and it’s totally good in the moment. Sometimes I don’t feel like a she. So she/they works!

Favorite Drink - I only really like water with my meals, or possibly green tea. I love sipping on sugary drinks when I crave that (i take very tiny sips and the drink lasts forever), but never ever do I drink anything like that with meals. I will also drink black tea with coffee creamer when I’m feeling like I need dopamine HAH. Drinking coffee or matcha unfortunately makes my body and brain feel wonky. I can’t focus and it’s like I’m in a state of numbing anxiety. Don’t like it. But l still, on occasion, will drink either.

Pet peeves - Mean people when existing near me. Narrow minded & judgmental people when existing near me. People who walk NEAR ME when they could walk further away, (I think I have a personal space need). People who reject others without engaging in discussion and critical thinking (a lesson for us all). When somebody isn’t emotionally intelligent and doesn’t try to be better. When somebody can’t break things down and explain a concept *and they’re a teacher* for fucks sake. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of kids and adolescents. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of another human regardless of age.

Talents - Yes, but the one I’m thinking about shall stay a secret because it’s not a very common skill and I don’t wanna give too much away. Other talents I can talk about… Well, many liberal arts teachers/professionals who meet me and get to know me more, say that I’d be a good psychologist. Oh. A talent I’ve had since I was little: understanding cats. HAHHA. (I was that weird kid who was lost in her own head when she was little, and I hissed at people)

Fav song atm - Strangely enough no song has been on repeat lately! That is unusual though. Try asking again another time, I’ll have an answer for ya

What Got Me Into JJK - Honestly, the hype around JJK is what led me to it AND kept me sticking around. I was seeking something to cure my depression (anime won’t do that, but it can certainly help but you also have to get consistent sunlight, socialization, feed your mind, body, soul, too), and I kept hearing about Jujutsu Kaisen. So I thought WOW this must be a really good one! The thing is that for me, with most anime it takes time for me to feel hyped about it… even with AOT, and AOT is goated… So for JJK, while I laughed A LOT in season 1, I also just felt underwhelmed. I did stick around though, because the fandom kept showing up on my timeline, and it was nice to feel like I was a part of something (seeing everybody simp over characters made me wonder what there was to this show that I was possibly missing out on), because at the time I really wasn’t doing well. It’s embarrassing to admit but it wasn’t until I started talking about it and listening to other people talk when I started seeing the nuance to JJK, and I began to appreciate it. (Don’t watch anime while half asleep and expect to walk away with an understanding of what’s going on…) I also really wanted to understand what others saw in JJK for them to hype it up so much.

Relationship? - No. Do I want romance? Yeah. Will I let myself be in a relationship anytime soon? Highly unlikely. I’ve got a lot of healing & growing to do before I can be a good partner.

allergies? - hurtful people who do stupid things and have zero interest in anyone but themselves (not to say I don’t pity them or have sympathy and empathy for them. I do. But I’m also allergic to them). Oddly enough, I was genuinely allergic to a certain leafy green as a kid. Outgrew that though! thank god haha

Favorite colour - I can’t choose! They each have their own beautiful feel to them. If I had to choose, I’d say green :) with yellow undertones, not blue undertones, though that’s also very pretty (if you’re an artist or take a basic art class with colour involved, ykwim).

Any more questions? Feel free to ask! Loved answering this :) Thank you so much for hopping into my inbox 🩷

[2n2n]

ch 105

ok I'm calm. I'm calm I'm alive....

FIRST OF ALL!!!! what an incredibly beautiful and wonderful image ... Natsuhiko is fucking scary gigantic here though. This is kind of like . I'm sorry. it's like such a cocksleeve proportions situation it's scary. Aida-sensei makes me laugh sometimes ... but ! but!!!! the lace is sooo inspiring and beautiful! This is the most I've REALLY seen her render breasts.... the hair though, rendered as beautifully as ever, Aida has an incredible knack for tension, slack, how hair lays....

the pastel colors outside the window... the typical red/green of this ship... but then the strong, dark green, black, ah absolutely amazing, this illustration really stands out amongst Aida's art.

I really love the vibes of NatsuSaku art....

this is so off topic but this extra from Nene-chan's class who is always quite present and has been from very early on, I am Convinced he is Lent from AidaIro's defunct VN Shounen Santa ... I have no proof of this. I hope one day I am somehow vindicated (?)

Those in the auditorium being effectively closed off from the pandemonium is really cool! It's nice to not have to be dealing with the noise and chaos for multiple chapters...!!

he just looks so handsome here... and his pose is very immersive... love his other arm thrown over her ... Amane is so amazingly touchy...

mnhgh ribcage. she's getting him so small lately

I am very charmed by Amane's instinct to 'get Yashiro away', as it's , as it turns out, a very useless, impotent instinct in this scenario; whether Amane had blipped her out of the auditorium with him, got 10 feet or 50 feet away from the clock, wouldn't matter a single bit, it's not as if he did not move fast enough... it's just very novel to know he truly had no idea in the slightest what he was up against. He's bound to the school, so out of everyone, Amane is the most helpless in this situation-- he could have never even left the school to evade anything... nothing short of yeeting Nene-chan out of the school would have helped her. I like the raw instinct to grab her hand and run away with her, and I like how that contrasts Tsukasa's empirical knowledge.

gorgeous gorgeous effects and vibes-- I was truly hooked, on edge, spooked, in the atmosphere. Such a talent, AidaIro ... such strong visions, from concept to execution, I just adore it.

In love with the detail that Nene-chan is aware she is not breathing, can feel herself not breathing. The perpetual consciousness in this state is very luxurious, very fetishistic, haha.

This is perhaps a very ... great way to 'shelve' our C-listers, Mitsuba, Kou, the gangs, I'm kind of glad if at least that can all be 'on pause' while we do things with the pieces here ... it's actually very interesting to me if Mitsuba and Kou are also conscious but frozen, for their characters I would like them to be stuck in place and forced to just THINK for a long time, contemplate ... especially Kou... he is such a 'run and smack things' guy, I really enjoy what being immobilized longterm could do to him. His whole deal is feeling weak and useless, so this is kind of perfect for him. Literally forced to stand there uselessly and helplessly, while again, other people solve the problems! ha ha....

anyway. the shooktening

my husband and I read the mangaUP! app together huddled over his phone on release, so god. The simultaneous screaming and excitement the YAAAAAAEEKHSJF!kl!!!ljl: ah just so, so so so so so wonderful. Hello!!!

ah so cute and funny. Love to imagine this all from Amane's perspective. Hearing an feeling Tsukasa only, unable to turn to see him. Knowing he and Nene-chan cannot move while Tsukasa is free-floating.

Which, anyway, would have to confirm Tsukasa as a sort of God, right? If the clock effects kaii and humans alike, and we see it doing so, but it has no effect on Tsukasa. The clock cannot effect him.

I wonder if boundaries are effected, or no? It's hard to know what 'technically' counts as 'part of the school'. At the very least the 'nowhere' space should be safe. We'll talk more about that in a moment..

another tiptoe boy ........ for my collection....

minx....

I believe Tsukasa, that destroying the yorishiro would give the dominion of time to them..... Though, it's interesting, given that no other yorishiro destruction + usurping has resulted in, as far as we know, Nene-chan or Hanako acquiring that power (it has, seemingly, been absorbing into Tsukasa as the original God?). I wonder if the clock simply works differently? It seems to really be its own entity....

uuu love to see Tsukasa sitting and admiring Nene-chan... I wonder if he's thinking about what he's about to do?

Do you think Tsukasa thought a lot about, what he's going to do here? I think he did ... if the plan has been "and I'll make Nene-chan my assistant!" then... based on Amane's behavior... I think "my assistant" comes with kisses .... ♥ I think it's Amane's fault, for having the world's craziest definition of 'assistant' known to man... what on Earth has 'assistant' meant to you, Amane?

You know, it almost feels polite, that Tsukasa has asked in the past, if you are dating ... and received a 'no' from Nene-chan. You can kiss girls you don't date all you want, apparently! Particularly your assistants ....

ah, a big favorite, and feels underlined in significance ... ! I think Tsukasa ... as a person who has seen, can see, so many eventualities, possibilities, who sat in the Red House's infinity outside of linear time, who can access Nowhere and traverse it so seemingly simply now, who knew how to navigate the Red House's Nowhere as it was "his house"... craves this kind of wonderful mystery, a lack of control in something, something new, something unwoven in time. There must be something about Amane-- who jumped the track of fate entirely-- and Nene-chan, mysteriously tied to the yorishiros-- which make them perhaps, invisible to Tsukasa's perception, in some way?

Tsukasa is so excited when Amane surprises him in the Far Shore by already understanding the God conditions...

when this moment happened, I thought... "it actually scares me Amane can surprise Tsukasa!" ... and now, it seems more confirmed than ever ... but it is something Tsukasa must cherish about Amane, Nene-chan, that he can't predict them.... it must feel so .. different, to be Tsukasa. To have seen so much of the shape of everything, from time, to value... life, death, what is precious, what isn't ... I understand why he likes to offer people opportunities. I do not think Tsukasa is a "sick fuck" or "enjoy misery" as many think. Just cannot have any ability to engage in linear existence with everyone else, at this exact moment in time.

He should get to have his fun.

I can't begin to .... relay the, euphoria, disbelief, shock, mania, seeing this, unbelievable. My husband and I-- laughing out loud so suddenly, unimaginable. The single most shocking page of the entire manga thus far, EEEEVEN as a TsuNene truther!!!!!!!!!!!

While I had thought and said as much, that, this arc seems to be the door for TsuNene being opened and explored, I thought I would wait-- YEARS-- TO GET TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!! DROPPED INTO MY LAP???!?!?

I did NOT!!! Think TSUKASA!!! had it in him to KISS NENE-CHAN POINT BLANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I underestimated him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe he has his nervous little paws behind his back as he does it!!!!! feet cutely kicked up! All precious about it!

WHILE AMANE

!!!

can only hear, 'chu' softly next to him, at first. He can't see, he can only hear... the sound of lips pressing into lips, a soft suction noise. My GOD

it only gets better

I am so glad Tsu-chan's little kissy is not a sordid, grim, dank affair, depicted with a heaviness of betrayal .... instead ...

AMANEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! FREAKING OOUUUUT sooo funny so funny, it's So funny Nene-chan, the one inflicted with this, her own response, is such a simple [?] confused. whats happening. but AMANE... for AMANE... his bones are dissolving inside of his skin. Hearing a kiss sound . seeing Tsukasa in his periphery . the helplessness.

FUNNIEST guy you could possibly do this to, this has been what it is all for. This is what you get for not making Nene-chan your official girlfriend, Amane....

beautiful, beautiful lingering panel. My now #1 pipedream for a panel for Aida-sensei to revisit in color and from another angle ... please, way in the future when volume 21 or something is advertised ... please, I would love to see it from any point of view.... Amane's view, or Nene's, pulled farther away, pulled closer... I know the lighting here must be gorgeous, in Aida-sensei's mind, the light from the broken-open wall pouring in, backlighting Tsukasa, the shadow of the clock's parts... all the debris behind Nene-chan, splintering wood and gears mid-air, and the open breathing sky behind Tsukasa ...

What a view of Tsukasa nobody has seen before.

I wonder if this is his first kiss? That only depends on if Amane did something while he was dead, I think. Which, look-- if you never got around to kissing Tsukasa, for all that time you two had, you might deserve losing his first to Nene-chan. Amane cannot have everyone's first kiss if he won't give them out himself, you know, it isn't fair... we'll just have to wait and see.. !

it's amazing to see a Tsukasa so in awe of his own actions fksldjfsldfjs.... I know we see Tsukasa and we think "whoa what a chaotic and rogue being who does as he pleases! All so easily!", but he doesn't typically sit there at his own actions and go 'omg omg!' ... reflecting on them.... he's a naughty lil rat but yet he does not pour over his own actions.... but he does over THIS .... you were so braave, Tsu-chan! You really did it!!! You kissed her just like you planned to, really, it's done!! For real!!! A kiss, you!! You kissed her!!

AGAIN, THE FACT AMANE CAN HEAR THIS SAID ALOUD AFTER HEARING THE 'chu' IS SOOO PRICELESS, literally I could never in 1 million years DREAM better circumstances for a TsuNene kiss. FUNNY deeply FUNNY. Amane right there, but he can't even turn to LOOK at it! He has to hear Tsukasa giggle and beam in joy aloud!! He has to her the smile in his tone!!!!! And he can't even see it!!! Right next to him!!!!!

wonder what it was like to be Amane and feel Tsukasa do this. Ah he's so funny. For all that scary energy early on with this clock, suddenly its like we're in puppetland. Tsukasa made it so.

he looks very sweet and fond here lol. EXTREMELY AMAZING LINE!!! what? Yeeessss... MY assistant now... yeeessss!!!! TAKE HIS PROPERTY!!!!! make Nene-chan yours with your actions!!!! SWOOP!!!!! ah have you own you. It's my turn with the pretty dolly. Amane's had such a long turn, not fair ... ♥ you must share with your otouto

could not be funnier. baibai!!!! waves!! the JOUDAI sweating and watching USELESSLY, though fsr they can MOVE but can't do anything without Amane's command...

cuckold funniest thing I have ever seen extremely funny little crinkled paper guy. Joudai spinning in circles sweating looking all around helpless. Frozen stiff Amane ABANDONED BY OTOUTO ... GIRL GONE !!!!! you're leaving him OUUUUUUUUUUT HE CANNOT CONTROL THE SITUATION IF HE'S NOT THERE!!! oh no your otouto and your girl will talk to each other Privately!!!

I love Amane SO much because even if all Nene-chan and Tsukasa did was look at his toy train and play patty cake he would still be like [dissolving into dust] WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is so sensitive to being left ouuuuuut of things to not being invited .............. otouto stealing girl running off leaving you there is so bad for the Amane brain ... you won't take brother to your clubhouse too????

I also think if TSUKASA is self-shocked and amazed at his kissing Nene-chan manuever, my GOD Amane must NOT have predicted in 100 years Tsukasa would do such a thing, it must be so DID NOT ACCOUNT FOR THIS POSSIBILITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID NOT PROTECT MY HEART AND MIND!!!!!!!!!! SUDDENLY REALITY IS UPON ME AND I HAVE NOT PREPARED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nubile raw baby bird skin utterly helpless. the concept is too powerful too fast and they are just Gone. Your brother left with your assistant and you have never told either of them I Love You.

GOD I hope Tsukasa dresses Nene-chan in something special or different .... uouohh I'm filled with 1,000 dreams. I hope the next color spread is Tsukasa and Nene-chan AAUUUUGHHHHH I've been waiting sooooo long for Tsukasa + Nene-chan alone images and the Ryokan has JUST! given me one........ MORE!!!! PLEEEEEZ image of her as HIS assistant pleeeeez.... pleez

waaaaahhhhh left out Amaneeeeeee!!!! You abandon miette???? AGAIN, IT'S TOO FUNNY THIS IS PLAYED AS COMEDIC ... not a dour dire thing that happened to Amane, a downright Shenanigan has happened to him, and he is a Mess... Wreck. Frozen in place agonies. NOOO!!!!! THEY LEAVE ME!!!! TOOK MY GIRLLLL !!! YOUR ASSISTANT??? NOOOOooOOOooo my... you... !!!! my otouto had his first kiss with a girl . sounded so happy . didn't invite me didn't take me left me here olone

UGH Teru and Akane, so funny to find him like this. I am assuming for the moment that Akane is free from the clock's influence, given his pocketwatch and duty, and that he unfroze Teru himself ... ? since Kou is certainly frozen.... alternately idk, maybe Teru and Akane have some tied fates from the shore/Aoi shenanigans, idk. They have weird dynamics in AUs sometimes. Whatever doesn't really matter.

Kinda hope they, like... detain.... Hanako... before unfreezing him, like bind him in beads and an electrified cage, and then question him on what he saw/knows (he would not tell them about Tsukasa...?) and, Hanako just a nonverbal incoherent wreck.... it feels like, fairly obvious he didn't intend this given his equally frozen state and the blood presenting incredible harm/risk to him but not to a human, so. I FEEL like he'll just be questioned.....

I wonder where Tsukasa will take Nene-chan!!!! the broadcast club? tea and cookies time? (wouldn't this be comical compared to Amane's bathroom...)... or to his scary little dank room filled with toys, haha? Are those spaces outside of time's influence? I hope they can talk somewhere sooo bad, pleaaaase!!! Want them to talk uuuueeeeueeueuuu!!!

I CANNOT WAIT FOR NENE-CHAN TO PROCESS TSUKASA KISSING HERRRR!!!! Tsukasa-kun... has a crush on me????????????????? Does Tsukasa-kun like me???????? She could look back on some Things now couldn't shee... ahhh I wanna see Nene-chan process it!!!! soo badlyyyy!!!! What IF he likes you though!!!! The vibes, Nene-chan!!! Ugh.... what if, girl!!!! what then!! what of it!!!

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

first grade

my youngest is in first grade

which means I'm able to access my inner first grader

my inner seven year old very well

my teacher was named Mrs. Hart

and she was so grumpy to everyone

especially to me because I was likely bizarre

but during all my detentions for losing things

or having a messy desk or talking or not paying attention

we'd have the best talks and I slowly grew on her

I also started piano that year

my teacher for that was also named Mrs. Hart

I was not good at the piano and never became so

when it was time for pictures I had a grey front tooth

and my mother was always one who valued

my aesthetics over literally anything else

she had been very good at softball as a teenager

and I'd never been coordinated enough for anything

but video games and art

so when she invited me to play with her

I agreed because a child always wants to play

with a willing and present parent

and since her very inconsistent and hard won approval

was impossible to obtain being myself

or anything I was actually talented or good at

maybe this was a chance to finally make her happy

she threw that ball hard enough at my face

it knocked out my front tooth

but it wasn't hard enough to give me a fat lip

almost impressive how calculated that must have been

she was never good for thinking unless it was

to fuck someone else over to get what she wanted

without just trying to obtain it for herself

no wonder I looked for it in all my partners

it's the bitterness that hurts

that festering anger I forced down after

years of being treated like that turned into acid

and my heart tries to freeze up

so I don't have to feel it

enmeshment with someone who always

saw me as completion so she set me up

time and time again for failure

I hate thinking about her

because like living that life

there's nothing to be done or said

only a deity outside of me could redeem her

that's the rage I've been facing all summer

what's triggered when my ex husband

began treating me exactly like she did

undermining my ideas and talents

telling me not to sing because it was unpleasant

lying to people about me and my intentions

gaslighting me about my history of behavior

projecting onto me all the poison of her soul

she kept to protect someone else she loved

fuck those people and how they made me feel

I have managed and regulated the emotions inspired

the best way I knew how and I was not perfect

but my integrity has a far higher score

than those who have tried to one up me

in morality when I responded to their mistreatment

Andromeda chained naked and cold

to the rock of her own soul

with a sea monster to keep her company

because of the twisted vanity of Cassiopeia

she gave me her middle name of Christine

but it should have been Cassandra

no matter my honesty it was never believed

until even I couldn't believe it

which after thirty some years it's kind of nice

because now I don't give a shit who believes me

in third grade I came up with a story

two little girls who ended up seperated

when one moved to China with her family

her name was Sally but I can't remember the other

she bought a yellow balloon and tied to it

a letter and named it 'Speedy'

and he ended up delivering it

through storms and a journey and trials

when I told my mother about it she offered

to type it up for me on the computer

but when I read it it was no longer my story

she made all these changes and nothing

made sense anymore and the things I wanted

to somehow express as a kid weren't there

the things I cared about and the reasons that mattered

it was all her words and her tale

titled 'Speedy The Friendship Balloon'

I won an award for it and got to go to a conference

but the honors and congratulations weren't mine

they were hers but living through my body

the shame and the confusion and the knowing

of what it was supposed to be and how she somehow

rewrote my entire writing narrative with a story

with my title and characters but none of my words

I suppose as someone writing since I was a child

drawing pictures in stapled paper books

until dictionaries and thesauruses and my obsessive

study of them gave me all the perfect words for everything

to have that kind of betrayal was so deep to me

and I will not brush off her intentions

because her character behaviors shows her patterns

I don't give a shit if she had good intentions

it crushed part of me that I didn't know until now

likely made fresh gravel for a deep fortress of imposter syndrome

and even now I feel myself trying to somehow

take back all these words so I can hug them back to me

hide the shame I feel from this story

but instead I'll take a nap and cry and have compassion

for the bit of self that felt ripped out of me

from a place where I cared the most

the one safe place I felt I had in that life

embrace my vulnerabilities and remind that part of me

things are different now and if I write something

I'm actually going to deserve every and any accolade I get

physically though this is extremely uncomfortable

nervous system completely is completely dysregulated

and needs extra care to be soothed

[callyourose]

match point, chapter three.

→ masterlist

— In which Art and Patrick find themselves intertwined with the relationship of tennis superstar Tashi Duncan and her best friend, Lennon Caddel.

LENNON CADDEL WASN'T TASHI DUNCAN'S LAP DOG. No matter what their relationship would lead you to believe. Lennon was her own person, Tashi knew that. She could make her own decisions, she could choose what to wear or who to date all on her own. She was a grown-up. But... why would she want to? It was just so easy for Tashi to just tell Lennon how to think and for her to listen. Tashi liked that she got to hold on to that sense of control off of the tennis court, and Lennon just liked knowing someone was thinking for her. Maybe that's why their relationship worked so well. They had never argued, they've never even been close to a friendship-ending fight. For the past nineteen years, Tashi had been telling Lennon what to do and Lennon had been letting her. Sometimes it got lonely and sometimes Tashi wasn't very nice. But Lennon had, like, no friends outside of Tashi. Which is how the latter liked it. She wanted Lennon's attention to be on two things and two things only. Tennis and her.

Art and Patrick, and Lennon and Tashi, were sitting on the floor of the boys's hotel room. The carpet was scratching the back of Lennon's thighs, but the alcohol in her system made it not that noticeable. They were passing around a beer, but Tashi had told her to take a shot for confidence before they left their own room. So she did. And now she's sitting here with flushed cheeks and shaky hands and she's unable to focus on anything but the way Tashi is caressing her thigh and the way Art's arm is up against hers and the way Patrick is staring at her.

"Len? Lennon?”

She blinks, smiles softly, and turns to look at her friend. Tashi's hand is still rubbing her upper thigh gently and it takes everything in her not to melt into the floor. "Sorry," she says sheepishly, "I kinda zoned out."

Patrick and Tashi share a smile and she cant help but feel like they're making a joke that she's not in on. "It's okay, honey," Tashi says with a grin, "Patrick just asked you a question and I wanted to make sure you were listening."

Lennon turns her head slowly to look at the brunette boy in front of her. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He smiles and brushes it off. "It's cool, don't worry. I was just wondering what your plans are. Like if you're gonna go pro." He takes a drag of his cigarette before holding it out to Lennon. She looks at it, looks at him, and then looks at Tashi. Tashi knows what she's asking for. She's asking, silently, for permission. She nods softly, and Lennon is reaching her hand out to take the cig from Patrick.

She takes a long drag, longer than she should've, before pulling out of her mouth and handing it to Art. She tries to hold back a cough, but it comes out as a gag. She's so embarrassed that she could just curl up and die right there. Everyone in the room is laughing at her. Patrick being the loudest, but Tashi not far behind. Art glances at her apologetically, but he's still laughing.

Lennon forces a chuckle before, finally, answering the question. "I, uh... I don't know if I want to go pro," she looks down at the ground before looking back up and smiling softly, "I don't think I'm good enough to go pro, honestly." She's messing with the necklace around her neck, a gold chain with Tashi's name engraved on the pendant.

Patrick scoffs. "Are you kidding? You're like... made for going pro. You're crazy fucking talented."

Lennon blushes and brushes off his compliment. "Thanks... I don't know. I just don't think I could be happy playing tennis for the rest of my life."

A wave of seriousness washes over the room. Tashi rolls her eyes and lightly slaps the outside of Lennon's thigh before pulling her hand back. "Don't listen to her," she tells the boys,  "She's super fucking talented and she knows it. Of course she wants to go pro."

Lennon forces a laugh. "Yeah, I mean going pro would be amazing." She side eyes Tashi, almost begging for approval. And she gets it. Tashi, ever so lovingly, resumes the soft caressing of her upper thigh.

It's well past midnight. 4:37am, in fact. According to the clock on wall. The girls had bid their goodbyes to Art and Patrick about an hour ago. When they got back to their own room, you could feel the tension in the air. Lennon could sense that Tashi was mad at her for something, she just didn't know what. 

They had been laying together in their shared bed for the better part of the hour. Tashi had her back to Lennon, when normally she's turned the other way. Every single night, Tashi has her chest pressed to Lennon's back and her arm draped over her stomach. But not tonight. 

Lennon can hear her soft breathing, she knows that she's asleep. But the fact that her closest, and only, friend is mad at her is making it impossible for her to follow suit. 

Everything she does, she does to please her. She's worked so hard to improve her backhand, to straighten her posture, to stop biting her nails just because Tashi told her to. She's gotten so good at making her happy that she's started to sense her problems before Tashi gets the chance to. She wants to push off the disappointment for as long as possible. But sometimes it's unavoidable. Like tonight, I guess. 

"Tashi?" She whispers into the air. The soft hum of the air conditioner muffles her voice. "Tash?"

She stirs in her sleep before waking. She keeps her eyes closed but rolls over on to her back, indicating that she's listening. 

"What?" She answers. There's a bite in her tone. Lennon can almost smell the disappointment that's rolling off of her in waves.

"Are you... mad at me?"

Tashi blinks her eyes open, staring at the ceiling. "No."

Lennon sighs, tears filling her eyes as she stares at the side of Tashi's face. 

"Stop crying." She can't even see her. She just knows her that well.

"I'm not crying," Lennon chokes out, her voice cracking.

Tashi turns her head to make eye contact. Even in the darkness of their room, there's no denying the glint of light reflecting off of her teary eyes. Just as a tear falls, she reaches up to catch it. "Oh, but you are. Why are you crying?"

"I just," Lennon blinks as she tries to push the tears back into their ducts, "I hate when you're disappointed with me." 

Tashi feels bad. She knows she should apologize. She hates when she makes her cry. But something in her refuses to let her say that she's sorry. 

Still staring at the ceiling, she asks the question that's been floating around her mind for the past three hours. "Why would you tell them you don't want to go pro?" 

Lennon is taken aback. That's what this was about? 

"I- I don't know. I do want to go pro. You know that I do." She bites her lip, biting back tears and hoping that Tashi believes her. 

And she does. She rolls back over onto her side, this time facing Lennon. She brushes a stray hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear. You would think that nothing had happened at all they way she was smiling softly. "I know you do." 

Lennon smiles, drowning in her approval. She rolls over, pressing her back to Tashi's chest. And just like every night, Tashi slings her arm over Lennon's middle, pulling her ever closer. "It would be really fucking stupid of you if you didn't."

[sweetestdiary]

For Eve, not getting the role of the White Swan is emotionally devastating. It’s because she trained so hard, was ready to get into performing again after teaching children for a little over a year, and actually believed that her abilities + hard work would allow her to achieve this role. However, she doesn’t get it. She’s humiliated, she wonders why, she wonders if she worked hard enough. She wonders, what is hard work? 

But the truth of the matter is there’s always someone better than you and as a black ballerina there are still many, many limitations on you. 

Eve’s reaction is to sulk around the house as she questions herself. 

The sulking is so bad that Sal has to physically pick her up and carry her to the living room so she isn’t ‘hibernating’ in the bedroom all day. But even then she lays on the couch bitterly. 

She goes from, ‘what did I do wrong?’ to, ‘what was the point of working that hard if I didn’t get the point? why do we work hard and push ourselves for something that might not work’  on that note she doesn’t want to hear about swans or birds for awhile. They fill her with annoyance and disgust. 

And as for Sal? Sal’s just like, “fuck those swans 🤬🤬🤬🤬”

Needless to say when Eve leaves the country to shoot Tierra and Duante’s video, her mood drastically improves. Gigi always compliments her, like she’s astounded that Eve “does music videos” (never mind this is just eve’s second video) and also does ballet, which is a high art form. This makes Eve feel good, like its nice to have someone view you as talented! 

But then she starts thinking to herself, “do I want to go back home as a ballerina? what’s my future going to look like in the dance company? i’m having so much fun with modern dance and acting, i feel alive! should i take this as a sign to break away from ballet while i’m young??’

[cinnamonest]

Albedo idol girl darling thoughts M A N I F E S T E D

----------

Well, to be entirely honest, he thinks the whole idol thing is a little dumb.

For someone like him, at least. He's a PhD student in his final semester, lots of work to be done and all that. So, you know, he's a responsible, accomplished adult. Not the kind of person who gets into "that stuff," as he calls it in his head.

Nor does he even know how he encountered it... He just takes the occasional break from work to mindlessly open whatever app first pops into his vision and scroll through the feed. He's never watched anything like it in his life, so he's not exactly sure why he gets recommended some idol girl thing, and even less sure why he taps it without really thinking. Probably one of those videos that gets recommended to everyone. Well, can't be that, it doesn't have that many views... Probably loosely connected to some video game he's searched before or something. He's familiar with idols and what they are, and the subculture surrounding them, but he's never really cared about it.

Honestly, it's kinda pathetic that a bunch of grown adult men get so obsessed over these girls, he thinks as he watches. He's seen the type. Lonely, asocial dudes, most definitely virgins whose only female attention in their entire life is their mother, well into adulthood with no real social group to speak of.

...Not that he's much better off, but he hasn't quite sunk down to their level. The only reason he doesn't talk to people much is because they're busy, and he's even busier. He managed to make a few friends in undergrad years. Well, study partners who mooched off his notes since he was one of the top students, but same idea. They were people he spoke to more than once, which is what constitutes a friend, right? And for the record, one time in high school a girl in his class said she liked his hair. He hasn't changed the way he wears it since. Whenever he's sad, he thinks about that compliment from 10+ years ago, and it makes him feel a little better. But now, he's constantly slammed with work and research.

And his acquaintances are also all busy. He sees notifications every now and then from social media he never checks. Everyone is getting married at this stage in life, both friends and even other PhD students in his department. Not that he's ever been invited to a wedding, he just overhears a lot of conversations, sees notifications of posts. And he will too, eventually. He just has to finish up his degree, and then... Meet a girl. Well, that's actually the second step, step one would be finding out how to go about meeting a girl. He's... Never done it before. Probably does not happen sitting in the research lab at 11:30 pm on YouTube. He's talked to one of the other PhD students who's a girl before. And only stutters sometimes. He was even able to look her in the face while he talked to her once. That's a good start.

Ok, so maybe he is a little bit pathetic, but not as bad as... These guys. Reading the comments of the video actually make him feel a little better about himself, because frankly, they're kinda wild. The worship and fawning over girls is one thing, but they even have timestamps referring to various members like "she's super cute here!" Or "you can kinda see her thigh at 3:12!" Etc etc. Yeesh, creepy. And they get into comment fights over who is the best member, as if it even matters. It's fascinating in a human-social-experiment sort of way, the manifestation of a subculture and how humans interact with each other. On and on it goes, hundreds of commenters. He pays more attention to the comments than the actual video, but the song is kinda catchy in that annoying sort of way, and the girls are cute, just kinda... The typical thing he'd expect from idol groups. But the building will close soon, so he taps back to home screen and swipes the app closed.

Unfortunately, the algorithm remembers.

And he's not certain why he clicks the next one either, the following day. The lunch breaks he takes are usually pretty rushed. Not that he has specific class times at his level of academia, but he likes to get his work done. He intentionally eats either a bit later or earlier than the lunch crowd to avoid crowds and interactions. Finds a nice secluded little table tucked away. So when he opens it back up, what do you know, several more videos get recommended. It's absent minded when he taps on one, the kind of numb-brained entertainment every modern person indulges in, videos you wouldn't really be interested in but just watch because they're there.

Ok, this is really creepy. These dudes have made compilation videos of close ups of each specific girl. It's the same group as the video he saw before, same little lewd costumes. Admittedly the girls are kinda cute. He can kinda understand the appeal. But he's not like those guys, he would never become like, obsessed with them.

The song is actually really catchy. The kind of mindlessly addictive, repetitive pop music that's the same four chords over and over, each song is so similar you can't really tell them apart, but it gets stuck in your head anyway. This group has... nine members. Who needs that many singers in one group? It's not like a band or anything, they all just sing and do their little choreography. Guess that's a form of talent, even though he doesn't really get it.

Some of the groups he sees in recommended videos are cute and wholesome, and while this group is cute too, there's a very... Blatantly intentional lewdness to their poses and costumes. A hypersexualized sort of cuteness. Clearly marketed at lonely losers who have nothing better to do with their time than obsess over a girl who will never even know they exist.

He taps another video.

So many compilations, yikes. He has to give the guys credit, they're insanely loyal to the individual member that they decide to fixate on. Oh, and they even make official figurines and posters for these girls, that's... Something.

And a few days later he can kinda recognize the girls. They have color themes, you know, identical costumes except each girl's is a different color. This lead one is red, this main backup is blue, etc etc. Lots of bright colors. Kinda hurts his eyes to be honest.

And he's seen compilations of every girl except... The pink one. The pink one is always kinda off to the side. Well, these groups do have their favoritism, there's apparently one or two lead singers in all of the major idol groups, and the rest are basically backups and dancers. Still, a lot of dudes get super devoted to the non-main girls. So yeah, he's never seen a compilation for the pink one... He can't always exactly remember which one is which but now he's seen enough to know the other girls' names. He's not sure what hers is though. So he googles it and gets the name.

Wonder why she doesn't have as many videos...? Oh, it's because she's the newest member. Only been around a few months. There's... A whole board dedicated to the group, which he's getting this information from. Wow, pathetic. What kind of person spends their free time browsing a forum for an idol group? Well, he's just doing it to find information, not for fun or anything. He was just curious. Now he knows and he can forget about it and never look at anything related to them again... after he types her name and group name into the YouTube search bar and checks the results out, that is.

Oh, so they do have some compilations for her, just not many. "(Name) thigh compilation." Fuck, these people have no limits to how creepy and pathetic they can get, he thinks... as he watches the video. Ok, admittedly there are some good thigh shots there. There's a comment. "At 4:26 you can see her panties." Pathetic. They're not wrong though. Just to be sure, you see, he tapped the timestamp, and you can, in fact, see them. Stripes. Cute.

But he still has to do his work. Can't get too invested in watching mindless videos all day. He's got a thesis to work on.

That makes him curious, though, he thinks as he goes about his research. Do these girls go to school? Do they like, skip college, or do they join some kind of performing arts school or...? So he googles it. He can remember the pink one's name now, so he just finds her Wikipedia page. Oh, so she joined right out of high school and has been in various groups ever since.

Wait, various groups? So she has more groups she's been in? What are those? Before he typed her name into the search along with the group name, but if he just searches her name he gets... A lot more content from earlier years. Huh. Didn't know some of them did group-hopping like that.

Still, no education. Must be all smiles and body and no brains. Guess that's all you really need. Yeah, looking at that whole act they do... All giggly and childish and lewd... She's probably not too bright. At least she's pretty and sings nice. And the thighs are rather good. Smooth looking. They have a sort of jiggle when she jumps up and down on stage. The thigh highs they make those girls wear have that nice little dip where the skin is compressed by the fabric. Like... right there at that closeup. He takes a screenshot.

It's readily available, he's already seen the video and knows the best parts, whereas searching for porn would take time. The sooner he can get the daily stress relief out of the way the sooner he can work on his thesis. So this way is faster. That's why he's jerking off to the thigh video and not taking the time to look for porn. Plus, it makes him cum faster. Which it probably shouldn't since it's just thighs, but... Probably has something to do with the tease of it all maybe. That makes sense.

Or maybe it's that cute little giggle he can hear at some parts. She smiles and jumps and spins and laughs.

...It makes him wonder what she'd look like crying. Scared. Whimpering. Covered in bruises and bite marks. The contrast between that state and the one on the screen. The process and the things he could do to get her from one to the other. Yeah, he realizes, it's that thought, rather than the happy giggling on video or tease aspect, that makes him cum.

He's aware that his... tastes... are a little on the fucked up side, but hey, there's plenty of bastards out there far worse than him.

One day he discovers she has social media platforms. He... Doesn't really have any. He doesn't have Twitter or Instagram or any of that but... He downloads the app and makes an account for each. Just to follow her. Ooh, they even have the option to get a notification every time she posts... That's good. Otherwise he might check too frequently. He sets a special sound effect for notifications for her socials. The first few times, you see, he would get super excited when his phone went off, only to be disappointed when it was just a work email. Thus, he made the separate sounds.

He wouldn't say he has a favorite, that sounds really cringey you know? He just... Likes her more than the others. ...Dammit, that's what a favorite is. Ok, maybe he has a favorite, that's not that bad. He's not obsessed. He hasn't bought any merchandise at all or anything, especially not member-specific merchandise. Which they do have, because he visited the store page for a while and spent all his willpower physically restraining himself from buying something. It's not that he's biased, he just thinks she's objectively better than the rest of the group. Which can be backed up with evidence, anyone with eyes could tell by watching the performances.

As to what specifically draws him to her... he's not certain, to be honest. Maybe it's because she's the least appreciated out of the group, new and all. The less popular one. Or maybe her personality... She seems so sweet, even though he knows it's probably just an act for the fans. Or maybe just those thighs. That's also a valid possibility.

He cracks and buys some of the merchandise. Only about $300 worth. But honestly, he gets more invested into just printing out pictures of you. Pasting them onto the wall above his desktop. It keeps him going when the nights are hard.

But he refrains from ever commenting on anything. Some of these losers are just... so embarrassing, he can't stomach the thought of being associated, even if it's just an anonymous comment online. It's still pretty... Distasteful. He still browses the boards every day. You're his lock screen now. And home screen. And also your solo is his ringtone. He only sets his phone on sound when he's alone at home, though, when he's at work he puts it on vibrate. He... doesn't want anyone hearing that. No offense. He has some appropriate amount of shame, unlike the other bastards.

And the girls probably know that most of their fans are these kind of loser men, right? She'd probably be surprised someone nearly graduating with a chemistry doctorate is sitting around watching these dumb videos. Is that more or less pathetic? He thinks less, hopefully.

In fact, the other fans kind of irritate him. They're really cringy and annoying and it gives him secondhand embarrassment. And something... Deeper. Something about seeing the comments upsets him on a visceral level. It's gross. Sure, he's grateful for the dudes who sit around and make a list of timestamps for upskirt shots and the like, but... It kinda bothers him, feeling like there's some other dude out there sitting around, watching these long videos with his gross eyes and recording the times of shots that get him off. It feels gross. But more like... A violation against you. Sure, your group is very blatantly sexualized and intentionally risque in clothing but... Still, it feels wrong for someone to go through and get to see all of that.

Well, someone else. It's ok for him, since he's not a gross degenerate like the rest of them. He does genuinely see himself as... Above them. You know how like, back in the day, how the nobles used to sit around and watch plays from the far back while the peasants gathered around the stage? It's like that. He's not a gross loser or a NEET or anything like that. He's got a life. Well... Not a social life, but he's doing better than them, at least he has a degree, and soon a higher degree, and a job. He has a lot of things they don't. Basic hygiene. Student loan debt. And uh... Well, he's probably more pleasant to interact with, at least he's not gonna be frothing at the mouth like an animal if he saw you in real life. He would certainly freeze up, but that's preferable, isn't it?

And one day there's a video circulating in the idol community - not that he's a part of it or anything, he just keeps getting the dumb videos and watching them for mindless entertainment - where some girl group had an attempted kidnapping. Not her group, but some other group. The video has gone viral. Some dude tried to rush the stage and pull one of the girls away. Apparently the cops found he had an obsession with her.

What an idiot. If you're gonna kidnap someone, put some effort in, jeez. It's not hard to figure out how to do it right.

If that were him, he wouldn't be that stupid, he'd just look for an interval where she's alone. They have those solo or breakout group songs where some of the girls are backstage, just get her then. Memorize the concert schedule, wear something over your face, chloroform her, and stuff her into something and walk right out. Easy.

....

He catches himself in the thought and realizes that might have been a bit creepy, but he was just thinking in terms of hypotheticals. If he was the kind of crazy to do that, that's what he'd do, that's all.

He's always enjoyed entertaining strategic thoughts, really. He's had a couple fantasies about how he would commit murders of this or that person before, and he's never murdered anyone, so thoughts don't lead to actions. He just... Really doesn't like those people, and the fantasies help him... Deal with it. He just likes to strategize about methods, and how he'd get away with it... Stuff like that. Actually, he's convinced it's a very normal thing, but no one wants to admit it. Everyone has detailed murder fantasies every now and then.

Which is why this is no different. He's just strategizing because it's fun. He has no intentions of doing anything for real. He just plans out the details like a game. And tells himself to just never think about it again.

Until one specific night that he's staring down at his screen. Lying in bed. He should be asleep, he needs to be up early tomorrow but... He's just checking to be sure he's reading this correctly. You're coming to his town? He wouldn't think so, since it's not too big, just your average college town. But still, you'll be right here, right in his general vicinity, not far away at all.

Not that he'd ever actually go to such an event. No way. He hates crowds with a passion. He hates loud environments even more. A concert is like his worst nightmare. Besides, knowing the general audience of your group, it'll be a bunch of sweaty NEET dudes who haven't showered in a month and haven't crawled out of their house in even longer. No thank you.

But.

That's when the thought pops back up. It's been a few months since that night he had that strategizing fantasy, and, well, he tried to forget it but... It kinda lingered in the back of his mind. And now it's back in full force.

He shrugs the idea off. It's crazy. He'd never actually do something like that. It was just a fantasy.

...But he could get away with it if he wanted to.

He's not scared or anything, no, he's confident in his strategizing. He knows he could. Totally. It's foolproof. There's no need to carry it out to know that, besides, what would he even do with you?

Well, he's pretty certain he does know what he would do with you. He's watched that thigh video maybe a hundred times now. And even if he won't admit it, he's jerked off to the exact same fantasy for like, several months.

He doesn't really... Think about it. Just kind of slips into subconscious actions. Autopilot. One click and well, there goes $400 on an amp case. His eyes gaze over the dimensions... And then there's your height on the Wikipedia page... Yeah... That should work. He gets it sent to the address a few doors down just in case, and snatches it from in front of their door, but he finds himself backpedaling. What the hell is he doing? He would never actually go through with this, what a waste of money... But he still opens it. Sets it beside his front door. Tests the wheels to make sure they work.

He knows how to make chloroform. He doesn't need YouTube tutorials (unlike a certain someone else), he knows exactly how to do it, even alternate methods besides the usual acetone and bleach combination - so long as you end up with the same chemical makeup, it's all the same. He just goes with the traditional way though... Doesn't really know why he does it. Just mutters as he stares down at the concoction wondering why he wasted his time... But he pauses before pouring it down the sink, and instead puts it in a container and keeps it on the counter. Your weight is on Wikipedia too. Taking into account your height and weight you would need about... Yeah, a very specific amount to knock you out for about three hours.

The concert day draws closer and closer and he can't sleep very well. His mind keeps running what-ifs. Just, hypothetically, what if he did go through with it? What then? What would he do long term? How would that all work out?

Well, you'd probably hate him for a while, right? But that changes. Stockholm syndrome sets in. He would know, he had to take Psych 101 back in undergrad, and the professor talked about it for a full 10 minutes, so he's basically an expert. It's been like, 7 years since then, but he still kinda remembers it. He remembers that it's supposed to set in at about 2 weeks, and solidify with time. If the captor is nice, that is, which he totally would be. ...Maybe not in bed, but most of the time. He would be nice to you, and you would start to like him. Besides, they said Stockholm syndrome set in faster if the abductor has good qualities, so, he could also reason with you, remind you that you're lucky you got abducted by someone with money - or, well, he will have money once he graduates! - and isn't some ugly gross slob. He's clean and neat. Sorta... He'll clean up all those dishes that have been sitting there a few days now, pick up all those clothes off the floor... Ok, now he's clean and neat. And, uh, what else would girls care about... He's smart. He's pretty sure he can say that with confidence, if nothing else.

Ok, so, it would work. He could... Keep you kinda... Tied up here... If you started complying within that two week period, he could get you up and walking before atrophy set in. You'd probably have to get used to the lifestyle... Right now he's kinda on a budget, but, he can get you things to keep you occupied... And so, yeah, it could work. It's simple, just keep you with him and isolated for a few weeks and uh, you'll transform into some kind of hypersexual obedient cumslut and never want to leave. That's... How Stockholm syndrome works right? Maybe he should have paid more attention in that class... Oh well. He never liked psychology.

So the day draws nearer and nearer and he starts really getting into the right... Headspace. It's a sort of manic state that he's in. Operating without really thinking, all inhibitions removed by simply refusing to think about it. He lets the subconscious take over and do all these little things to prepare, until finally that day is tomorrow. And then he kinda snaps back to full awareness and questions, again, what the hell is he doing? He can't just... Kidnap a person! Normal people don't do that... It's illegal, he'll get caught, it'll ruin his life and....

What life does he really have to ruin?

That's the thought that sort of solidifies the decision. He realizes why he's even on this path in the first place. Sure he's got a lot of academic accomplishments, but his life is... Rather empty. He doesn't really have anyone. Maybe that's why he's slowly become... Consumed by this obsession that yes, he's now willing to admit to himself is indeed an obsession. It's kinda slowly taken over his everyday life without him even noticing it was happening. He's... Kinda miserable. And very lonely. And... If nothing else... This one girl makes him feel kinda happy.

... Which is why he's going to go through with it.

And he slips back into autopilot, ends up standing outside the building. It's every bit as loud and headache-inducing as he knew it would be. Ugh. He can't wait to get out of here. If this doesn't work, well, he'll be forced to turn around. The plan is a very simple one, actually... Act like he's supposed to be there. And he does. Dresses in all black like stage technicians do, dragging his big amp case behind him, holding a bunch of cords from random things he grabbed in his house, and tries not to look nervous, keeps a neutral face and walks straight forward and... He slides right in. The security guards off to the side don't even bat an eye.

And then he has a moment of "well, I didn't expect to get this far." Pauses. So uh... what now? Well, probably should find you first. He memorized the setlist, so he knows when you'll be off... And alone. Right now there should be three of the girls backstage. It's pretty easy to find where you are, but he's paranoid that the amp case is too loud as he's dragging it around. It's necessary, though. And then, finally, he stumbles upon the room... Opens the door, half expecting to be immediately stopped, but... He can just kinda waltz right in here, some open backroom, a person here or there coming through, a lady that looks like a makeup artist doing something over there, and an actual, real tech guy over there... And over to the far back corner... Oh. That's you. He takes a moment to revel in the sight, unable to move or even breathe, and has to mentally prepare himself before moving forward. He's... Not sure exactly what to do at this point... It's kind of perfect, to be honest, there's no one around you, and you're right out of sight, where he could turn the corner and not be seen. But he's not sure how to... Approach? He thinks about it as he walks, but again, autopilot is on in his brain and he's just numbly walking forward. Does he just... Keep walking until he's right at you and just... Or...?

And a miracle happens. You hear someone coming and you turn and smile and ask are you the tech guy here to fix my mic? You point to the little microphone attached to your face. They told you someone would be coming to fix it before your next song. You presume that's him, since he's dressed in all black like all the other stage techs. He hesitates a moment, wide eyed, but then nods. Yeah, that's him, he says. His voice cracks when he says it. It's kinda cute.

You smile at him. It's wide and sweet and genuine and it almost makes him pass out on the spot. He has to swallow for a second before continuing.

But, uh, he can't do it right here he says, because fiddling with it could disrupt the uh, frequencies, cause that really shrill sound you hear sometimes. So, um, come over this way a sec, over in this dark corner of the studio conveniently out of the view of all people and security cameras. You don't know how any of that stuff works, so you trust him, it's his job after all. So you get up and straighten your little skirt out - wow those are even more revealing in person - and walk over it the dark corner where he's waiting and... it's the last thing you remember.

He does a quick look left and right to ensure no one saw you collapse in his arms, but sure enough, this area is empty. You fit into the amp case with ease. Just curl your body up and pop the lid on. Wait, can you... breathe in there? Well, it won't take long to get outside. He just rolls the case right out the door, right past the guards again, and no one stops him, no one suspects a thing. Puts the case in the backseat, opens the lid, does a quick check go make sure you're breathing alright. So he props it open by keeping a book in between the case and lid as he drives home.

Once he does get home, he just does the same thing he did before - close the lid, roll you into the elevator and up the stairs and into his place, looking back over his shoulder over and over. And once he gets you inside he just kinda... falls to his knees. Shivering. Disbelief. Because holy shit he actually did it. He actually went through with it and it worked. He sits there and stares at the case and - oh, fuck, gotta open it again for you to breathe. Actually, he might as well... take you out... when he first shoved you in, he was so high on adrenaline he didn't really process any of it, but now... he almost can't bring himself to take you out. That means he has to, like, touch you. He's gotta take a moment to mentally prepare for that. So he does. Deep breaths. And finally, with trembling hands, pulls you out, carries you on shakey legs over to the bed and sets you down.

You know, you're a lot... Smaller... Than you looked on screen. Sure, he knew your height and weight but... somehow you still seem so much smaller than he expected. That's good. Will make everything a lot easier, since you're easier to restrain. And your thighs. They're... so soft. This is so much better than the video. They're so... fleshy and warm in person. Perfect. And wow, that skirt thing is... scratchy. Actually, up close, that whole outfit thing you wear looks super uncomfortable. It probably is. ...Well, guess he now has a reason to take it off.

The rest of your skin is... also fleshy and soft. Warm. Your face... chest... stomach... everything. Your tits are really cute, too. It occurs to him that all those rabid commenters on all those boards and videos would probably kill to be him right now, pinching and squeezing at your nipples. He's seeing something they will never see. It gives him an ego boost, to be honest, makes him feel proud to get a sort of one-up on them. He gets you naked, but refrains from pulling your legs apart. He probably... wouldn't be able to control himself, and he's aiming for some self-control right now.

So he waits. Breathes deep. Restrains himself with every ounce of willpower he has. It occurs to him he has no fucking clue what he's gonna say to you. Unfortunately, that thought occurs to him as you're starting to twitch and mumble, so, he doesn't have too much time to think. Oh, fuck, you're not restrained... well, he bought some duct tape and handcuffs and blindfolds off of amazon too, so he quickly puts those in place as you're starting to wake up, and then finally, you come to full consciousness -- that telltale jerking at the restraints, the muffled little cry of confusion and fear. It's kinda hot to be honest. Well, fuck, very hot actually. You're so scared. It gives him a rush of power. Said rush goes straight to his dick.

He's got a mixed twist of guilt and arousal at the whole thing, but... he's still trying to have some self control... and if you start begging and pleading and crying, it would be too much. Oh, no, not that it would be too much in terms of guilt, no no, just that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from fucking you if he sees you cry. So he leaves the restraints on for now, so he can't see your face emote.

Then, he does something really, really mean. He knows it's cruel, honestly, it's just... so cute. What that is, is that he does nothing. Says nothing. He goes about his work, typing away, knowing you can hear, but doesn't say a word. He knows you're awake, he just wants to see how long you can sit there scared out of your mind before you finally make another noise to draw his attention. Right now, he thinks, you're probably debating, you're probably questioning whether you should keep quiet and make him think you're still out or make a noise... but eventually you will. He can see you trembling. You're probably thinking so many horrible things right now, wondering what will happen, what he'll do to you... it fills him with a sort of sadistic glee that overrides the guilt it comes along with. Sure, the guilt is there, but fuck, he could almost cum just watching you shiver, and that's more important.

And you finally make a noise. A little whimper. He stops typing, and swears he sees you tense when he does. And when he stands up, walks over to you (making sure to stomp hard and walk slow for extra effect, watching the way you curl in on yourself with each step he takes), and stops right in front of you. Finally, tells you not to scream. He's gonna give you water, ok? You nod. And, surprisingly, you don't make any move to scream or anything, you let him give it to you. You don't move a muscle besides your shaking and sucking the straw and swallowing the water. You must be really scared of him. He knows that's technically not what he should want, but... it feels nice.

He spent that time of silence coming up with what to say to you. He says that for now, you're going to stay right here. Don't ask questions. Don't make any attempt to escape. If you really need something, tap the headboard until he hears. Understand?

You're... Surprisingly receptive. You give a twitchy smile and stammer out an o-okay. He's almost pleased, but quickly realizes what you're doing.

You've been trained for this, you see. This kind of thing is attempted rather frequently in the industry. You received training for this situation - comply, don't fight, prioritize your safety, because in 99% of these cases, the missing idol is found and recovered within 48 hours. So you do what you were told to do -- smile, pretend you're ok with it, don't do anything to anger your captor.

He knows that too. He doesn't do much in that 48 hours, in fact, he even tells you he's waiting to "see what happens." He knows he can't control himself very well, so he stays in his living room for the most part and works on research, it might be pointless if he's in jail a few hours from now, but oh well. Sleeps on his couch. He offers to feed you, but you say you don't feel good. He understands.

See, in his mind, if he gets to fuck you once or twice and then be hauled off to prison and never touch you again, well, that would be actual, literal torture, so much so that never fucking you at all would be more bearable. So that's why he forces himself to wait now. He feels like he can't breathe, he's so nervous, like any moment police are going to come knocking on his door. Every little sound makes him jump. He can't sleep.

But 48 hours pass and... nothing happens.

He breathes a bit easier. Finally dares to go online, which he's been avoiding, and check on your situation... Oh, wow, social media has exploded over your disappearance. But... They have no leads. Nothing. Says she basically vanished out of thin air. Situation is, quote, "looking hopeless." Huh. He did an even better job than he thought he did. There's videos from loved ones begging the captor to let the girl go, offering to give him money even. A lot of money. But, you're more valuable than any monetary measurements could ever conceive. And he's happy. It really worked out. Everything went right, and for once, he has something that really, really makes him happy.

Likewise, the 48 hours are even more torturous for you. You start out telling yourself it'll be fine. Hopeful. But that hope in your chest slowly, gradually dies out as you realize you've hit the 48-hour mark. Even for a normal missing person, you've always heard that if they don't find them within 48 hours... the chances of ever finding them goes down significantly. But, that's because they're usually dead, right? And this guy won't kill you, so, your chances are better, right...?

He comes back after that 48 hours and finally, for the first time since you woke up, crawls onto the bed, touches you, grabs your hips with his hands. Tells you that, well, they haven't found anything yet and it looks like they aren't going to, so you're officially his now, and he's no longer worried. You should accept it. It'll make things easier for both of you if you do. You'll get adjusted in no time, you'll see.

Unsurprisingly, you're a bit less compliant than you were when you had hope. You whimper and and struggle, but it's really weak. So much so it's cute. You ask who he is. No one important, he says. Just... A fan of yours. You can hear clothes shuffling. He doesn't waste time, he's already waited two whole days suffering, so he gets his dick in you pretty quickly. Manages to make you cum. It horrifies you and kinda surprises him too to be honest. You must kinda like pain, huh. Well, that works out well.

As time goes on, what hope you had left dies completely. Weeks pass. You realize they're not coming for you. In an attempt to get you to accept it, he even shows you that you've been replaced. They're rather quick to fix the absence. They have a new girl in your spot by the end of the month. He quickly realizes maybe he shouldn't have told you, from the way your face falls and you get all hysterical. Sorry. It's the way the industry is. Don't worry. She's not even half as cute as you.

He shows you the announcement when they close the investigation, too. This also earns a rather hysterical response, but he thinks it's important you see it, so you can finally come to terms with your fate, the way things were always meant to turn out. He gets a bit frustrated. Just accept it. It's not that hard. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be. It's for your own good that you accept it.

And you do. Try as you might. You begin to make conversation. He's the only source of interaction you have. You learn about him and his life. You become invested in it. You start to cum more easily. When he's sitting on the opposite side of the bed typing away, you find yourself slowly wiggling your way over and pressing yourself against the warmth, and he certainly doesn't mind. You ask him about his research just to hear a voice talk.

And sometimes you sing. It's absent minded, soft and quiet, when you have nothing else to do. He likes that a lot. You get sweeter. Nicer. Fight less. It does take a bit longer than two weeks to set in fully. But it does in the end.

He can't be with you 24/7, as much as he would like to be, so sometimes he has to tell you to just hang on a little while. Be good and sit still for just a bit. He'll be back soon. Just give him an hour. You're just really distracting and, well, his progress report is due tomorrow morning.

And you keep getting upset over the new member, bring it up a lot... It must have really bothered you, huh. Well, don't feel bad about being replaced. To him, nothing could ever replace you... you're still his favorite.

[cosplayproblemsposts]

Santino D'antino x M! reader

Title: The phoenix

Warning: None so far

Summary: you've been invited to an art gala and that's where things become more interesting.

I frown a little "Oh, C'mon it'll be fun" Vince gestures to the newfound suit "Okay if you don't like this one then...HA! how about this one". I couldn't believe how Vince changed from "hey are you gonna eat that" to "YES! clothes". I stare at the velvet suit he displays to me "this one says 'sexy' while this one is all about 'boy toy' moment". I raise my eyebrows at him "don't give me that look, I need to know" Vince pouts and gives me big puppy eyes.

"I don't know if it'll be a good idea" Vince huffs "What are you afraid the girls will choose the Vince express". I scrunch my nose at what he said "Dude" Vince shrugs "Hey maybe the dudes will like a little taste of vanilla". I couldn't help but grin "you are one frisky dude Vince" I watch as the man puffs his chest "I don't complain". I pinch the bridge of my nose "fine, red I'll go with red" Vince makes a childish noise before scrambling off elsewhere.

I stare at my red and gold ensemble in the mirror "Damn you look good" Vince says. "Thanks, I can say the same thing to you" Vince hands me a red and gold masquerade mask. "I wonder whose the host" I shrug whilst adjusting my mask "I guess we'll just have to wait".

The whole art gallery had been transformed into one of the most aesthetically pleasing. "Damn, you can get lost in here" Vince lightly grasps my sleeve, I felt lost for words at the very beauty of the art gallery. "Oh, look it's Freya and Felix" I saw the twins Vince mentioned earlier: they were glued to each other "they seem inseparable". Vince grins once the twins caught sight of him and me "Whose this Vince" Felix's light accent shoot waves over me. "This is Y/N his also a transfer like me".

The jest-haired male shook my hand "it's nice to meet you. Vince here told us you've more than one option in mind". I nod "Oh, yeah. I just believe you should explore your options" he hums as Freya eyes me down ."So you believe art is nothing but an open canvas". Felix frowns "Leave him be, Freya" I have never found anyone more intimidating than this woman in blue. " I don't know, I've never seen it that way" Freya seemed unimpressed so I came up with whatever I could. "I've seen it as a story of words over a canvas" Freya nods "I guess he's smarter than he looks, Vince".

"I don't know how you did it but Freya impressed" Vince comments while handing me a drink. "I've always liked reading more than anything" Vinces nods "Welp I guess I should read whatever your reading". I chuckled "I guess you should" Vince sways a little.

"Hello, oh geez is this thing working" the blonde guide from before taps a mic: Vince wiggles his eyebrows. I scoff "really her, she just seems out of your league". Vince huffs "Leave me alone little man" I just grin "Hello ladies and gentlemen and thank you for coming tonight. I'll like to introduce Gianna and Santino D'antino".

I pinch my lips together once I saw the woman in white and Santino himself "evening everybody, thank you Lucia for tonight and for allowing us to congratulate all of you young future artists". "Tonight I'll love for you to give both of us a taste of your talent" I watch as she gesture between her and Santino. Vince smiles like a Chester cat "We both know and believe you all have a chance to give this world a chronicle rainbow of beauty".

I have to give it to her, she knows how to fish out the hopeless dreamers "Damn she's good" I mutter. I thought Vince heard me but I notice he disappeared. "What the fuck, the guy's a ghost" damn and I like to call myself the world's greatest spy. "As I'll love to continue but, of course, my little brother has to have a taste of the mic too" Gianna makes way for Santino.

"Yes thank you Lucia and thank you to all of you" he stood with power, not even I could grasp even if I wanted to. "I've got an eye for art and I can see myself adoring every drop of art you bring to life" if I'm being honest I feel as if he's talking to me personally. But I guess that's what happens when you rule the world of charm "You bless this world with newfound art and we'll make sure of it". "This school would grant you this opportunity and we'll stalk around to see you at work" cool so it's time to show off.

I watch as he bows and walks off the stage: so I guess he and his sister are the only ones who aren't wearing masks. "How lovely" I shot the last of my drink "Hey there's a typewriter" Vince appears. "What happened to you?" I gesture with my index finger: Vince's lips are overrun by red lipstick. "I guess you were right she IS out of my league" he pops the 'is'. My eyes surpass him to find a grinning Lucia "What did you two do". Vince straightened out his vest "Oh, I think you know little man".

Here I stand displaying my small little literacy work "You have the imagination and the wonder" Freya praises. I nod while keeping an eye on the two siblings "It's no poem but a story of fear, greed, and mercy...I love it". Vince played a beautiful melody on the violin and if I was a chick I would have melted. Gianna enjoyed his piece but Santino seemed unimpressed and called it 'Simple' and 'basic'. Gianna gives him a stink eye and hands Vince a silver coin "Progress matters, in my eyes. you did great" Cassian agrees.

Gold is ten out of ten while sliver is nine point five out of ten: how brutal "I thought it was nice" Lucia says. There were very little gold and so many slivers and bronze. Gold is told to take off their mask and reveal who they are: I personally want gold but then yet again I don't want to blow my cover.

I fiddle with the hem of my jacket whilst I watch them near my area: Vince seemed heartbroken but relieved. I took a shot of whiskey once they hand a sliver to the twins "I love it but I'll add more color". Santino's eyes linger on Felix who bits his bottom lip and looks away.

"Ah, now this is interesting" I clamp my hands behind my back "No paint and no form of color, just paper, and ink". "Yes, for words also follows in the category of beauty" Gianna smiled while Santino's green eyes ate at me.

"Anything else before we read your piece" I nod "I personally enjoy reading and I devour every word with passion. So I thought I'll give you two a taste of wonder". Gianna enjoys each word as Santino eyes me down: there's a difference between me and Felix. Felix bathes in his fear while I stare fear in the eyes "Shall we Santino" Gianna breaks Santino from my gaze.

I watch anxiously as they read are their own pace: I watch Gianna's expression fall and rise. Santino licks his lips and he seemed as if he wanted more "I love it, no words can describe how much I love it". Cassian nods in agreement along with Ares, Ares signs to Santino how it'll be a good book. "Here, you deserve it" Gianna hands me a gold coin and hobbles a little to see me remove my mask.

All four of them are waiting "Please M'lady I would rather keep my mask on". Her smile falls "Rules are rules" I bobble on the heel of my shoes "I'm aware, but rules are meant to be broken and rebuilt". Wow, that's nowhere near confusion at all "Then rebuilt them another time" my eyes shift to Cassian who clears his throat. "As you say M'lady" I untie my mask and allow myself to be unfolded: Gianna smiles once again.

"You've talent you just need to give a little face," she says and walks away: I let out a needed huff. Santino stares a line of green within me before moving on with Ares following him. I've never been anxious my entire life besides training.

Vince congrats me"Damn and I thought I had it in the bag" I shrugged "As she said progress matters". Vince flicks the side of my face "Says you, you were staring him down" I shook my head. "I did not" Vince pinch my cheek while he puffs his own cheeks "yes you were, the number on eye contest of the century".

I squint at him"Shut up" Vince chuckles "Anyways your piece has to be the most beautiful thing I've heard all night". I shift the topic and I think Vince took notice of the sudden topic change "Dang if I was making you uncomfortable you should have said something". I lick my lips "No, you weren't making me uncomfortable just...yeah" Vince didn't even reply.

"Nice to hear you are nowhere uncomfortable" the voice of the said man spoke "I would hate to give a stern talking to your friend here". I title my head at him "What does that mean?" I crock my brow at the much taller man. The man stood at 5'10 while I slump at 5'8 "I'll have to say you are much better as a confident man".

Dance with the devil they say, it'll be fun they say but if the devil dared to approach you when you're supposed to keep an eye on him and nothing else. But if he had emeralds for eyes then I would've caved a long time ago.

[sucuretcannelle]

Hey! I saw you were taking requests, so I was wondering what would the lords be like with an S/O that is a very ancient witch that can disappear/teleport and they're pretty outspoken and caring with them? Love your writing though! You're rather talented!!!

Lady Dimitrescu:

—Oh, you sweet summer child

—Nothing is much different from her having a normal s/o

—Its not our of the ordinary for her own daughters to disappear in thin air

—So when you do it, she isn't too surprised either

—Amused, that's all

—Like I said, you aren't too different from any other s/o she would've had

—She doesn't tolerate any sort of disrespect (even if you're just teasing her or just joking in general) so her having a caring and kind s/o is a requirement

—She's lived for so long as well, so you being ancient isn't really something she would worry about

Heisenberg:

—Sometimes he just sits down and thinks, "what did I do to deserve them?"

—Is that negative or positive? Probably both

—You've scare him halfway to a heart attack so many times

—You apologize every time, but it's just something you're used to, so he has to learn to tolerate it

—Does he learn to tolerate it? A bit

—Just tread lightly though, he might throw something at you if you scare him hard enough

—On purpose? Maybe

—But you're really nice so even if he did, he'd apologize

—Which is surprising because he rarely apologizes to anyone, even if he finds out he was in the wrong

—He sorta makes fun of you for being olf

—But you know that he's always joking

Donna:

—(I wrote this whole thing and Tumblr deleted it....fuck you Tumblr)

—Make,,,doll,,of,,,s/o

—She jumps a bit when you disappear/reappear in front of her

—Even of you've done it a lot of times

—She knows that you didn't mean to scare her so she gets over it right after

—Since you've lived for so long, she often likes to listen to you talk about your past experiences while she's making dolls

—She doesn't talk too much, but she will talk just to inform you that she's listening

—However, Angie talks a l o t

—Like you'd have to take breaks just to let Angie finish talking

—And of course, she's not saying anything important

—(There was more, but tumblr—)

I literally have no good art of Moreau....he'll survive without it

Moreau:

—He can't move too much

—But it's easy to tell when he gets scared

—He just shakes a bit

—He doesn't snap at you, but he wishes you wouldn't teleport so often

—He wouldn't stop you though, but it's pretty easy to tell when he's uncomfortable

—Just like Lady Dimitrescu, he would only like to be with a nice s/o, so again, it isn't out of the ordinary

—He doesn't really care about you being ancient, it's never something he put his opinion on

-----

Why am I an hour late—

Anyway, credits in this order:

Q-sylph on tumblr

Ao_blu0 on twitter

Nabetsezitro on twitter

[t0wnspersonb]

Hot Springs (Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader)

Word Count: 2,570

Rated: Explicit

Warnings: SMUT, bad language, public, my shit writing, Ushijima being a beautiful man

Summary: You couldn’t remember the last time you and Ushijima got to spend proper time together, so when he suggests going to the hot springs for a date how could you refuse? Although, you two are doing a bit more than just enjoying the hot water. 

~~~~

GUYS! I know it’s been a fucking minute😫 I’m still trying to get my shit together for school lmao. BUT I’ve been working on this fic for a while tbh, I was just never motivated to finish it until recently. I apologize in advance if it’s trash😂 BUT, I do have a couple of things to go over. First of all, thank you guys so much for being patient with me the past couple of weeks, I’ve definitely missed putting content out to you guys, I’ve just been super busy with life and school. Second of all, I know I have requests sitting in my inbox, I will do them. Eventually. The only reason why I’m even posting something new is because this story was already in the works, so since it’s done I decided to post it (it’s probably garbage idk lol). Third of all, I love you guys so much  😘😘😘😘 it’s been such a joy writing for you all, and I hope I continue to put out content you guys enjoy! As always, this story is dedicated to @sunshinewitchz​ because she’s the biggest Wakatoshi simp I know, and I love her so much and her endless support. 

I hope you guys enjoy the story! Please let me know what you think of it😊😊

~~~~

“- Would you like to go?” Ushijima’s deep voice filtered through your ears; although you only heard the last part, you had no idea what he had said beforehand.

 “Hmm?” you finally looked up at him, the paint brush in your hand stilled.

 A soft frown coated his lips, sometimes you were far too engrossed in your art projects. Usually he didn’t mind, today was different though. It had been two weeks since the last time he had seen you, both of you far too busy to make time to spend together.

 Of course, he would want your undivided attention, he missed you. 

 “I’m sorry Toshi, what were you saying?” you smiled sheepishly at him, carefully setting down the paintbrush, your eyes focused on him completely now.

 “The hot springs. Do you want to go?” He asked again, his eyes flickering over your face.

 Your lips pursed, your brain wracking through the dates to make sure you didn’t already have a prior commitment. “When?”

 He let out another sigh, Ushijima loved you deeply, but when painting was involved… well, you were in a completely different world to the point that it was hard to hold a conversation with you.

 But he also loved your passion for it, he loved how talented you were, how confident you were in your skills. It was proven time and time again whenever you produced your master pieces.

 Although, all your artwork in his eyes were masterpieces.

 You were the best masterpiece of all. Ushijima could stare at you for hours, he could watch you paint for hours, but right now, he wanted to be your sole focus.

 “Do you want to go to the hot springs with me tomorrow?” he asked once more.

 “Okay.” You smiled brightly at him, you didn’t have anything to do tomorrow, except to drop off a painting. Any chance you got to spend with Ushijima you would take. 

 “Okay.” he repeated, a soft smile coating his lips. “Finish up, we’ll go get food once you’re done.”

 You definitely loved Ushijima.

 ***

 “Ushijima-senpai! Y/n-senpai!” Goshiki exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here!?”

 “Your grandma asked for a commission piece! I’m just dropping it off now.” You smiled widely. “I didn’t know you would be here today!”

 “I-I’m just visiting.” he stuttered out, his eyes awkwardly flickering over to Ushijima who paid him no mind, his eyes scanning the outer exterior of the house.

 “I need to collect the money; do you know where she is?” You asked sweetly.

 “She’s out in the garden, please come in.” He said awkwardly, stepping aside. 

 “I won’t be long Toshi!” You said cheerfully, pardoning yourself before you entered the home, leaving Goshiki and Ushijima standing at the entrance.

 “This is nice wood, is it oak?” Ushijima asked suddenly, his eyes tracing over the large door.

 “I don’t know Senpai…”

 Silence once again surrounded them, but like you had said, the exchange didn’t take too long as you came walking up to the volleyball players cheerfully.

 “All set Toshi! Let’s head out yeah?” you smiled up at him.

 He nodded before taking your hand into his and waving goodbye at the male.

 “Bye Goshiki! See you around!” you called out behind your shoulder.

 Sometimes it was a wonder how you and Ushijima ended up together. The concept of “opposites attract” seemed to be in play for this. 

 Your bright and bubbly personality contrasted greatly with his. Ushijima’s blunt and rough exterior was the complete opposite of your gentle and easygoing one. 

 However, you guys shared one trait, and that was the undeniable confidence you guys had in your skills. Ushijima with volleyball, and you with art.

 But despite the contrasting personalities, your relationship worked, the love and respect you guys had for one another was always present.

 “That was really nice of that lady to give us our own spring. I didn’t even know that a place like this could have private ones!” You said happily as you guys walked towards the changing rooms.

 “Yeah.” Ushijima nodded briefly, “see you in a bit.”

 You grinned at him widely before skipping off into your own changing room. 

 You bummed softly to yourself as you began undressing. The showers felt incredible against your skin and you couldn’t help but sigh in content, a trip to the hot springs was something that you definitely needed after working so hard on your commissions.

 You carefully wrapped yourself in the towel and started heading towards the spring. The change in temperature caused a shiver to run through your body, shuddering gently as the steam curled around your damp shoulders. You breathed in the soft scent of earth, sighing softly as your body relaxed in the hot springs air. 

 Your eyes scanned over the area, before pausing on a figure that left your heart racing and your stomach flipping.

 Ushijima paid no attention to his surroundings; his stare was focused on the scenery before him. But that gave you plenty of time to drink in the tall male before you.

 He was truly the most beautiful person you’ve ever met before. His broad shoulders and rippling back muscles were completely exposed to your greedy eyes. 

 How you ended up with such a beautiful man was beyond your comprehension. 

 “What are you waiting for?” His deep voice filtered through the air, your gaze met his olive eyes and you felt your face flush immediately.

 “Just appreciating the view.” You said cheekily before dropping your towel and settling yourself down into the water.

 A long sigh escaped your lips as you submerged yourself completely. This was heaven; you couldn’t remember the last time you had been to the hot springs, and the fact that you got to spend it with the man you loved the most, it was definitely pure heaven.

 “The scenery is very nice here.” he agreed, eyes scanning over the area once more.

 You laughed softly at his statement, your hand gently pressing into the bulging muscle of his bicep. “I wasn’t talking about the scenery. I was talking about you Toshi.” 

 Ushijima felt his expression soften considerably as he looked down at you. You were resting your head against his arm, your eyes closed in absolute bliss.

 This time Ushijima decided  to scan over you, and fuck… you were the best thing he’s ever seen.

 His eyes drank in every inch of your beautiful face, his gaze trailing over the strands of wet hair clinging to your face, wrapping around your collarbone and then your shoulders and…

 Oh.

 He shamelessly stared at your exposed breasts. He could feel his heart rate beginning to pick up as he started to register in his mind that you… no both of you were extremely bare to one another.

 Ushijima couldn’t understand this sudden shyness that began to bubble up in his gut. He had seen you bare so many times before, he’s touched you so many times before, he’s had you in every way that he could think of; and yet… What was this sudden rush of arousal spiking through his blood right now?

 Your eyes fluttered open and met intense olive colored ones staring right back. You felt your mouth go dry, your stomach twisting in a way that was all too familiar.

 The only times Ushijima has ever looked at you like that was when…

 “What is it, Wakatoshi?” You teased slightly, the flush in your face was something that you could blame on the hot water, not the fact that your hunk of a boyfriend was blatantly staring at you like he wanted to devour you whole.

 “You’re beautiful.” he said simply, reaching out to tug on a strand of your wet hair. His strong, thick fingers gently began trailing against the skin of your throat, skimming across your collarbone. Despite the hot water, you couldn’t help but shiver at his gentle touch. 

 “I meant… is there something that you want Wakatoshi?” You asked, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you stared at him through your lashes.

 “You. Always you.” he answered simply; his large hand curving gently around your jaw, cupping your face carefully.

 Your stomach twisted pleasantly, an all too familiar burn bubbling deep within your gut, but also... your heart. Once again you were in awe of the man before you, the amount of love you held for him was far too much for your heart to contain, bubbling up and spilling over the longer you looked at him.

 “You have me.” you said quietly, carefully pressing yourself closer to him, your hands rested gently against the bare skin of his chest, strong and oh so broad.

 “Then kiss me.” he demanded, olive eyes burning into yours. Love and passion could clearly be seen in them.

 So, you did. Your hands grabbing at his strong jaw, forcing him to stoop down to your level so you could properly kiss him.

 Kissing Ushijima was possibly the best thing on the planet, his lips were full and strong as they moved against yours, unhurried, but incredibly needy and forceful. 

 His tongue licked against your mouth, hot and wet and deliciously perfect. You eagerly pressed yourself against his large body, melting against him completely. You were too hot, your body overheating immediately.

 It was from the hot springs, right? Not from the hunk of a man that was currently grabbing at your bare waist and yanking you tighter against him, right? 

 Your head spun dizzily, pleasure rippling through your body, a soft whimper tearing through your throat as you felt his growing member press tight against your thigh.

 Ushijima heard you, his grip on your body tightened slightly as he continued to devour your mouth. He began moving you, carefully backing you up further away from the deep end of the hot spring, and then your body was being lifted up until you were no longer in the hot water, rather, you were now sitting on the ledge of the hot springs.

 Goosebumps erupted across your skin, your nipples hardening into pebbles under Ushijima’s watchful eyes.

 From your perched position on the rocks you could easily kiss Ushijima and he could easily…

 “W-What are you doing?” you whimpered out, the back of your hand coming up to cover your mouth, your heart was racing, faced flush, as you stared at the tall male.

 His large hands were gripping your thighs, carefully moving them apart, his eyes gazing hungrily at your weeping cunt.

 “What does it look like I’m doing?” he asked slowly, and then he was stooping down until his face was between your legs… a hot, fat, tongue sliding up your slit.

 You gasped loudly, eyes fluttering shut, as you leaned back on one of your elbows, your hand covering your mouth shot out and tangled into his damp hair.

 Ushijima hummed slightly, tongue gently flickering against your throbbing clit. 

 He wanted to do this here? Now?

 A thick finger slid easily into your wet entrance, causing your thighs to tremble at the sudden intrusion.

 Apparently yes. Yes, he did.

 When you finally opened up your eyes, the scene before you was absolutely sinful. Your swollen lips parted in awe as you made eye contact with Ushijima.

 His pupils were dilated, the soft olive color completely gone. His wet hair clung to his face, you could see his tongue flickering in and out of his mouth as he continued to eat you out.

 How was he so fucking perfect?

 “Toshi… please.” you begged, pressure beginning to build up, you were so close, but you wanted him. You wanted his thick cock to stretch you out completely right now.

 “Is there something you want?” he asked, voice deep and thick with arousal. His plush lips were wet, coated in your slick.

 Oh fuck.

 How did he look so fucking good between your legs?

 “You. Please. No more foreplay, I want you inside me already, please.” you trembled, watching as he stood to full height.

 Your eyes greedily ran down his naked body. He was just so… so fucking big, in so many ways.

 The strong muscles of his arms, his chest, his stomach, stood proudly on display for you. But as your eyes traveled lower; you could almost drool over the sight of his erect cock, standing proud and ready to be engulfed in your tight heat.

 His fist enclosed over his hard member, pumping up and down his shaft a couple of times before he finally stepped between your trembling legs. Carefully rubbing the head of his cock against your soaked folds, your eyes fluttered at the touch.

 But then with a quick snap of his hips he entered you, bottoming out immediately. 

 His lips slammed down against yours, muffling the loud moan that was about to escape your lips.

 Fuck, you were so full. No matter how many times Ushijima had you, you could never quite get used to his large size. 

 It was almost too much. But he knew that, which was why he waited for a moment, allowing you the time to get used to thick intrusion.

 One of his large hands grabbed at your hip, the other was resting near your head against the ground.

 After a few moments, your legs wrapped around his thick waist, a silent invitation that he could start moving.

 Ushijima didn’t even hesitate, his hips snapping forward, his cock pressing into the deepest part of your tight heat.

 The pace of his thrusts was unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world to fuck you, despite the fact that you guys were at a hot spring.

 “Do you hear that?” he murmured; soft squelching could be heard from your lower region. You were absolutely soaked, drenching his thick cock as he slid in and out of you perfectly. 

 You gripped at his broad shoulders helplessly, soft whimpers escaping your lips as you trembled under his large body.

 It was too much… the hot springs, his body, his kisses, the grunts that were coming from his lips, the fact that your boyfriend was fucking you in a public place…

 “I’m close.” you squeaked out, nails digging into his skin. The familiar burn, the ache for release; was coming up quickly.

 His deep thrusts began to speed up, his hips hammering into you.

 “Then cum.” he demanded, his hand reaching down to rub harshly at your swollen clit. 

 So, you did, gushing around him easily, your slick coating his hard member. He grunted loudly, immediately pulling himself out of you, his fist once again enclosing around his member as he hurriedly pumped himself, searching for release.

 Thick ropes of his warmth shot onto your lower belly, hot and heavy against your skin. 

 You watched tiredly as he brushed the wet hair away from his forehead, his eyes trailing over your bare body, a soft expression easily covering his face now. Carefully he pulled you back into the water, situating you on his lap easily as you rested your head against his strong chest.

 You sighed in content as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. 

 “I love you Wakatoshi.” you said quietly, you peered up at him, a sweet smile coating your lips.

 “I love you too.” he said eyes flickering down at you, a small smile appearing on his face.

 A trip to the hot springs was definitely a good idea. 

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Take Me, I’m Yours

(the highest voted options on the poll were ‘Geralt rescues Jaskier from trouble’ and ‘Jaskier riles the Captain up in public’ so I teamed up with the ever-marvelous, stupendously talented @limrx to bring you this Swashbuckling AU oneshot/art piece featuring a horribly jealous Geralt and a frisky, flirty Jaskier)

------------------------

“Do you think he likes me back?” Jaskier asked. He leaned over the ship’s railing to look more closely at the dolphin following behind them. Lambert didn’t think he’d fall overboard but it would be kind of funny if he did. The strange young nobleman did have a way of always landing on his feet, though. 

“I know he does.”

“Well how come he hasn’t told me anything about it, then?” 

“You’ve met the Captain, right? About this tall, long white hair, weird yellow eyes, emotionally incompetant?” 

“You have a good point. Should I just confront him about it?”

“Yeah, sure.” Lambert rolled his eyes before shooting Jaskier a pointed look. “If you want to send your ransom note back to Lettenhove the following morning.”

“Fuck. I just want to kiss him, Lambert. Regularly. I want to know if he snores or not. I want to lay on the deck beneath the stars and talk to him like we’re friends and not just pirate and pseudo-pirate-captive. I really want to see what his ass looks like under those godsforsaken trousers, Lambert, it’s killing me not knowing.”

“You’re more insatiable than a siren during the rainy season,” the second mate teased. “But with fewer teeth.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you going ashore when we lay anchor?”

“Am I allowed?”

“I assume you’ll be allowed. You’re practically part of the crew. You’ve been aboard for nearly two weeks and you’ve pulled your fair share of the weight, if not moreso.”

“Why thank you, Lambert. I appreciate you noticing.”

“Of course, Jaskier. You may be an utter fool and a fop to boot, but at least you’re a hard worker.”

“Asshole.”

“Mhm.”

They both watched the dolphins for a minute in silence before Jaskier’s face split into the most heinous and dastardly grin. It filled Lambert with an unmistakable sense of fear and worry. “I have a brilliant idea. I know how to get Geralt to admit his feelings.”

“No, absolutely not. I am not getting roped into this, you horrible little minx. Don’t give me that look! I won’t help you this time!”

“But Lamby-bert,” Jaskier whined. “If he has someone to take all his frustrations out on in bed then I’m sure it’ll be easier to negotiate for higher shares next time we take a vessel.”

Lambert did not miss the fact that Jaskier said ‘we’ when referring to the crew. The second mate knew the little nobleman was here to stay; it had been clear that Jaskier would be sticking around from the moment Geralt first laid eyes (and hands) on him. The Captain hadn’t stopped looking out for the lad since. Lambert wasn’t even going to think about that singular flirty kiss atop the mainmast nearly a week and a half ago. Geralt had been pining after the acrobatic little idiot ever since and making absolutely no move to flirt back. It was driving the crew absolutely crazy. “Alright, you devilish siren. I’m in.”

----------------------------------------

Jaskier cleaned up nice.

And he deserved to clean up nice. He’d worked hard to put this outfit together. Billy had lent him a pair of dark blue breeches in return for Jaskier’s help with mending the mainsail. The shirt he was wearing was half a size too big, which was exactly big enough for the neckline to plunge even lower than he usually wore it. This way it revealed more of his toned (and rather hirsute) chest. He’d borrowed it from Starkey, who was the same height as him but who had much broader shoulders.

The Captain was going to absolutely die when he saw Jaskier.

He whistled a rather naughty shanty as he exited the bunk room and made his way towards the gangplank where Starkey, Lambert, and Eskel were waiting for him. He spun in a quick circle, arms out to show off his clothes. Lambert and Starkey whistled appreciatively and Eskel hid his face in the palm of his hand. “Ready, boys?”

“Absolutely not,” Starkey smiled. The first mate standing next to him tilted his head back to look at the sky, sighing deeply.

“Are you sure about this? What if the Captain tries to kill Lambert?”

“He won’t be killing anyone. Hopefully. If he does run his sword through anyone, it will most likely be me,” Jaskier joked. “Now, this is my first time drinking with real pirates. Anything I should know?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Eskel suggested. Lambert bit back a laugh and Starkey snorted.

“Impossible.”

“Well then, let’s go.”

The four men made their way down onto the docks and through the sparse crowd of sailors and merchants still mingling in the evening light. Starkey led them to a decent tavern and found a vacant corner table, which gave them an excellent view of the door.

Geralt and Starkey had spent the morning selling their stolen cargo to various merchants, shopkeepers, and artisans. The Captain had divided up the gold between his crew according to their various contracts and Jaskier, more as a jest than anything else, was given two crowns as well. “For not dying,” Geralt had intoned seriously. The men were amused but Jaskier’s face had gone bright red with embarrassment. The young noble had talked them out of trouble with the Skelligan patrols twice last week and Geralt was repaying him with public humiliation? Lambert knew that the Captain’s earlier actions were about to make this evening a lot more entertaining (if slightly uncomfortable) and he was ready to get this show on the road. He flung an arm around Jaskier’s waist and ordered them all a round of ales.

“So everyone knows what the general goal here is, right?” Jaskier clarified.

“Yes,” Eskel nodded. “You’re using Geralt’s jealous nature to make him act on his less than subtle feelings for you.”

“Correct. Wonderful.”

Lambert squeezed the noble’s hip through his borrowed pants and Jaskier huffed indignantly in reply. Starkey chuckled softly at their antics and winked at the barmaid when she brought them their drinks. “Can’t wait, really. It’s been so boring lately and the last two ships we took didn’t even fight back. This is drama. This is entertainment!”

“Shut up, Starkey,” Jaskier pouted. He leaned back into Lambert’s embrace and gulped down half his ale.

“Slow down, kid,” the first mate teased. “Or you will be drunk when he gets here and your plan won’t work.”

“I need to get the pink in my cheeks or I’ll look suspicious,” Jaskier argued. “One ale should do it without getting me tipsy. Maybe two if it’s weak.”

“Method actors,” Lambert rolled his eyes.

Jaskier was sipping slowly at his second ale and the other three pirates were on their fourth or fifth when Geralt finally came barreling through the tavern door. “There you are!” Eskel shouted, waving the Captain over. Nobody missed the barely-hidden glare Geralt aimed at Lambert’s arm where it rested against the nobleman’s lower back.

“Captain,” the second mate nodded.

“Lambert. Eskel. Starkey.” Geralt greeted them all in turn.

“Heyyyy,” Jaskier whined, leaning forward against the edge of the table and pouting. “What about me, sir?”

“You.”

“Rude,” the brunette huffed. Lambert ran a lazy hand up and down his spine and Jaskier watched as Geralt’s eyes narrowed into slits. He sighed sadly and melodramatically into his mug and nodded once in the second mate’s direction. “Thank you, darling. At least someone in this crew likes me.”

Starkey saw Geralt’s eyelid twitch and slid Eskel two crowns under the table to settle their bet. He thought the vein on their Captain’s throat would show up before the eyelid went, but it must have been the first mate’s lucky night this time around. “Hey Eskel, let’s see if any of the lovely ladies here want to dance with us, eh?”

“You coming, Captain?” Eskel asked. “Seems like Jaskier and Lambert are a bit busy.”

“Yes, Geralt,” Jaskier egged him on. The Captain had a white-knuckled grip on the handle of his mug. The noble took a long swig of ale and licked a bit of foam from his lip when he was finished, noting the way Geralt’s eyes locked onto his mouth. “Why not go dance with a pretty lady. Certainly nobody else has your attention.”

The pirate Captain finally snapped. He slammed his mug down and reached around the table to grab Jaskier around the waist. He hauled him out of the second mate’s grip and onto his feet. “Captain, what are yo-”

“Yer coming with me, siren,” Geralt snarled. Lambert relinquished the nobleman with very little fuss, winking at Jaskier as the pirate Captain swung him up and over his broad shoulder. The young man flashed all three of his co-conspirators a thumbs up as he was carried out of the tavern like a sack of potatoes.

“A little rude to Lambert, don’t you think, sir?” he asked, resting his elbow against Geralt’s shoulder blade and settling his chin onto his hand. He crossed his ankles to make it easier for the pirate to balance his weight comfortably. “But they’ll be happy to know that our little plan worked out.”

Geralt stopped in his tracks but did not set his captive down. “Your what?”

“Our plan,” Jaskier explained as if bored. “To get you to finally do something about all this sexual tension between us. I kissed you on the mouth for fuck’s sake.”

“I thought it was an accident.”

“Oh, and saving you from hanging at the hands of some Skelligan officers, was that an accident? Not sending a ransom note last time we stopped for water and not turning you in for the reward in Novigrad, were those accidents too? There is a hefty bounty on your head, White Wolf, and I could be living independently in a castle somewhere right now except that I happen to find you endlessly attractive and fascinating.”

“Hmm.” Geralt resumed walking. Jaskier noticed with a smirk that his pace had picked up quite a bit. As if he was suddenly in a hurry to be somewhere.

“Hum dismissively all you like, sir, but you’re still carrying me back to your cabin to ravish me senseless, are you not?”

“Ravish may be the wrong word for what I’d like to do to you, but you do look rather tempting.”

“Thank you. I put a lot of effort into this ensemble.”

“You’re a calculating little nymph, aren’t you?”

“No, of course not. I only managed to secure a bunk aboard the Kaer Morhen and wrap its infamous captain around my finger in less than a month. I am but a silly nobleman with excellent dexterity and a penchant for climbing.”

“Lambert was right to call you a minx.”

“He does love that nickname.”

“It’s not an endearment.”

“Whatever.” The ground shifted and Jaskier knew they were making their way up the gangplank and back onto the ship. This was the part he’d been waiting for! Geralt kicked in his cabin door and stepped inside, turning to close and lock it behind them. Jaskier wriggled impatiently. “Set me down!”

“Hmm, no. I rather like the view from here.”

“Excuse me?”

Geralt gave him a gentle smack on the ass, almost a pat really, and huffed out a laugh at Jaskier’s offended noise. “You’ve been an awful lot of trouble for a nobleman and a captive.”

“I’m barely a captive, Geralt. Give it up already.”

“You haven’t signed the book.” He set Jaskier back on his feet and looped his arms around the younger man’s waist to pull him close. “You’re still a captive until you swear on the book and sign your name next to the others. Then you’ll be part of my crew.”

“I have yet to negotiate for my shares,” the brunette stated. He tilted his chin back, baring his neck slightly and offering Geralt his ale-damp lips. “Ten crowns after every capture and I get to sleep in here with you. That sounds fair.”

“You’re a good worker. Seven crowns, you can sleep in here with me, and you can borrow my bandannas whenever you want.”

“Even the red one?”

“Especially the red one.”

Jaskier’s soft pink mouth brushed against the pirate’s as he murmured his answer: “Deal.”

Geralt’s lips crashed against Jaskier’s with the strength of a wave hitting the side of his ship in a maelstrom. The Captain’s mouth was so warm and his lips moved against the younger man’s with almost frightening determination. As if he was trying to prove himself. His arms were strong around the nobleman’s lower back and his white hair brushed deliciously against the skin of Jaskier’s neck.

“You’ve bewitched me, body and soul.”

“Oh, Geralt,” the younger man sighed, opening his mouth to let the other in. I never thought the word ‘plunder’ could apply to kissing but here I stand, corrected by experience yet again. The White Wolf of the Seven Seas pulled away, made breathless by a young and foolish nobleman in search of adventure.

“I’m not a siren, you know. Not even a little. My family’s estate is landlocked.”

Geralt’s fingers rose from his waist and brushed against his cheekbone reverently. Those amber eyes, so cold and focused when he shouted orders or intimidated a merchant captain, were looking down at Jaskier with such devoted tenderness. The ex-noble felt his heart fill anew and double in size. There wasn’t enough room in his body to hold all of this feeling.

“Kiss me again, Captain. Take me to bed.”

“You’re too good at tempting me. You must be evil.”

“I assure you,” Jaskier smirked, ripping Geralt’s shirt over his head in one smooth movement. “I am.”

[luminnara]

God Damn, Shit Sucking Vampires | Poly lost boys x OC Chapter 7 18+ ONLY

HI SORRY FOR BEING SO SLOW!

Instead of a gif this time, I’ve got some art of Vera to share! By AmaAmaranth on twitter!

She looks so badass and it makes me so happy lol

Tags:  @americancowgirl19 @ilikechocolatemilkh​

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Warnings for vampires doing their thing and nsfw

If Paul was a tornado, then Marko was a cyclone. He was just as insatiable--maybe even more, actually--and just as determined to taste every inch of Vera. He made a last minute decision to go to the beach instead of back to the cave, taking her to a nice secluded stretch of sand where they could enjoy the rest of their night without disruptions. 

“Oh, Marko,” she purred, tangling her fingers in his silky hair and giving it a tug. 

She pulled his face up from between her thighs and saw him licking his lips. He had been eating her out for several minutes and showed no desire to stop, his eyes yellow and his fangs already sharp and exposed. His mouth was sinfully talented, his tongue having already pulled a big, leg-shaking orgasm out of her. 

“Let me return the favor.”

Marko grinned, sitting back so that she could get up. Vera crawled across the sand towards him, unbuckling his chaps first and then his jeans. He bit his lip as he watched her, his cock already painfully hard, and the moment he felt her lips around it, he thought he might just die of pleasure. 

“Fuck, baby…” he moaned, grabbing a handful of her hair and guiding her head up and down. 

He was rougher than she imagined he might be...but then again, she should have known to be wary of his angelic face. With his hand in her hair, he rolled his hips into her mouth, shoving his cock down her throat and reveling at the sight of her as she looked up at him. He could feel blood dripping down his chin as he bit at his lip, practically gnawing on it as he tried not to lunge at her. She was so gorgeous, the way she stayed on her knees and took his entire cock into her throat, and fuck, he could smell her blood, so much blood...he wanted it, he wanted a taste, just one, fuck, he was going to lose it--

Vera could tell he was struggling to stay in control. She grinned around him, amused even as he forced her head down his length. She could tell that Marko wanted to pounce on her and sink his teeth into her flesh, but rather than just roll over and let him, she preferred to wait and see how long he could go before he totally lost it. So far, he was unraveling quickly, and it didn’t seem like she would have to do much more waiting. 

“Fuck!” He snarled, yanking her head up before she could make him cum.

His fangs were bared, his eyes wild, blood dripping down his chin. Without thinking, Vera crawled over him, their lips meeting in a kiss that left her hungry for more. The moment she tasted Marko’s blood, she could feel a rush of energy coursing through her body, and all she wanted to do was drown in the sweet, ruby liquid. It was morbid, but it was the truth; Vera was enthralled by the taste, obsessed with it, and, like many other vampires, she would have bathed in it if she could get enough of it into a tub all at once.

She sucked at the wound on his lip as she sank down onto his cock, moaning into his mouth as she felt him stretching her. Marko bucked his hips, wrapping his arms around her as he thrusted up into her, and they both soon found themselves lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, their heads swimming, their grunts and moans and sighs drowned out by the sound of the waves crashing against the sand. He dug his nails into her hips, leaving little crescent-shaped marks behind...until he truly lost himself and his fingers suddenly ended in claws, and he was doing his best to shred her flesh. 

The scent of blood was heavy in the air, and while Vera had had her fill of Marko’s, he still had yet to taste hers. He was impatient, and while Paul was more of a big rough puppy dog, Marko was purely dangerous, hungry and determined to get what he wanted. He sank his teeth into her throat, drinking greedily, completely taken by the rush of energy he received from her. Her blood was absolutely delicious, like nothing else he had ever tasted, and as he drank, he could feel her. He could feel all of her. Her hands on his skin, her mind against his own…she was there in her entirety, stalwart, strong, unmoved by the waves no matter how hard they crashed. Vera was like his rock, his weight, his anchor, keeping him in place. She was pain and she was pleasure. She was everything.

Mate. Pack.

Mate.

Mate mate mate mate mate--

His head was buzzing with an instinctual knowledge of what she was to him now, and just by sharing blood, he suddenly felt closer to her than anyone else in the world, even the other boys, if that was possible. He could feel all of their minds nudging his, eagerly checking in to see how things were going. Paul was elated, his mental voice loud and excited like it always was. David was pleased, though he was much calmer than Paul was, and Dwayne…

Dwayne was hungry. 

Marko could feel how impatient he was getting, and it surprised him. Dwayne was almost always in control of his emotions, aside from when a human managed to piss him off enough to deserve being torn in half. Now, he felt irritated and antsy, and Marko was glad that it would only be another night before his packmate had the chance to spend some alone time with Vera. 

That was another weird thing...he felt possessive of her, but not with them. He was never good at sharing, and he got in plenty of fights with Paul over weed and prey, but when it came to her...he was okay with handing her over to one of them. Because he trusted them, because they were all meant for her, too. But if anyone other than the boys tried to go after her...oh, he would rip their hands off. 

They stayed out there on the beach until the very first rays of sunlight started peeking up over the horizon. Vera was exhausted, laying at his side contentedly and dozing on and off. Marko could tell that the others were getting annoyed, David especially, and by the time the two returned to the cave, the boys were all over her.

Because they missed her that much.

“You took too long,” David growled, looking her over to make sure she was alright. His voice was stern, but not entirely angry, and when he saw how she looked, he backed off slightly. He couldn’t deny that she seemed happy, and when she was happy, he was happy. 

Vera held onto Marko’s arm, leaning against him slightly and looking up at him with those big, adoring eyes. He felt like he was melting whenever she did that, like his knees would give out at any moment. He had just spent the better part of a night with his cock buried inside of her, and yet she still managed to make him feel shy and vulnerable, and if he could, he would have blushed when she kissed his cheek and took David’s hand to go to bed. 

How did she manage that? How could she make him melt like candle wax, or ice cream on a hot summer night? She made him feel warm inside, in a way he hadn’t felt since he was still human. 

And that was a damn special thing for her to be able to do.

“So,” Paul slung his arm around Marko’s shoulders. “She’s good, huh?”

“Yeah,” the smaller vampire sighed. “Too good.”

-0-

Vera actually had a pleasant dream for once. 

Instead of stressful nightmares filled with pain and torture, she was blessed with a peaceful slumber, the kind that felt warm and inviting. For once, she didn’t want to wake up. For once, she felt completely safe and happy. Nothing could harm her. Nobody could get to her. 

Her night with Marko had left her feeling light and relaxed, and she went to bed safely cuddled up with David. He kept a tight hold on her, not wanting to let her shift away towards any of the others, but it seemed like his efforts were in vain when she found herself waking up in between Paul and Marko. They were both snoring softly and both seemingly determined to sleep in for as long as possible that evening, grunting when she tried to wriggle out of their grip. 

She ended up accidentally side stepping right into the one vampire she had yet to interact with very much:

Dwayne.

He was already awake, and when her back hit his chest, she suddenly heard a quiet, rumbly purring sound emanating from him. 

She turned to face him, slowly, cautiously. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Dwayne—she knew that he wouldn’t do anything unpredictable, and even if he did try to hurt her for some reason, she had three mates who would go to war if she asked them to. Dwayne was just big, and strong, and silent, and unlike the others, he hadn’t been making constant grabs at her. Compared to the way Paul and Marko fought for her attention, it just felt weird that Dwayne hadn’t even tried.

But now here he was, slowly, calmly moving to brush his nose over her head, taking in her scent as she inched closer. This would be Vera’s night with him, her chance to see if she really was the queen of their little pack, and assuming that all went well with Dwayne, she would probably be finally meeting Max afterwards. She would finally be catching a glimpse of the vampire who sired these four vicious, unruly boys. 

She would finally be part of the family.

“Good evening,” Dwayne said, chest rumbling. 

She let out a little involuntary sigh at the sound of his voice. It was deep and crunchy, no doubt due to the fact that he had just woken up, and she couldn’t deny that it had an effect on her. Even though she was the tiniest bit shy now that she was pressed up against him, Vera couldn’t help but lean into him, nuzzling up against his neck. He smelled wonderful and warm, his scent calming, just like the rest of him. 

“Sleep well?” He asked, his voice a deep rumble. 

“I did,” Vera sighed. 

“Good.” he brushed his nose through her hair as it hung in his face, inhaling her scent. “What would you like to do tonight?”

“I still haven’t gotten to check out a lot of the rides on the boardwalk,” Vera mused, leaning her cheek against his bare chest. 

“I’ll take you.”

“And I could go for a snack.”

“I’ll hunt for you.”

“A human snack.”

He gave her a confused look. “What else would we eat..?”

“Food? Human food?” She grinned. “C’mon, don’t you guys ever get pizza? Smear a little blood on it and it’s just divine.”

He couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. 

“The hell’re you two blabberin’ about?” Paul asked, still half asleep.

“Did someone say pizza?” Marko yawned. 

“See? I knew someone here liked it.” Vera laughed, twisting her head to look at them. 

“You haven’t had fresh pizza in years.” David spoke up, eyes still closed. 

“Define fresh,” Marko said. 

“We’re pizza enthusiasts.” Paul said. 

“These sewer rats pick it outta the garbage when they’re bored.” David drawled. 

“And it’s still good,” Paul said defensively. 

Vera wrinkled her nose. “Why don’t you ever just...buy it?”

“Because David says we don’t need it,” Paul said, jabbing the platinum blond.

“Because you don’t.” David growled.

“Yeah but it’s good,” Vera whined. 

He was no match for those big, pleading eyes, and he immediately relented. “....fine. But we hunt first.”

A short while later, Laddie was off with Star, and Vera was digging into the jugular of a guy who had dared to look at her funny. The sand was red with blood, the waves washing some of it away, and as the others tossed the bodies of their victims into a nearby bonfire, Vera sat down next to David.

“You alright, sweetheart?” He asked, lighting a cigarette. 

“I think so,” she said, mumbling a bit. 

David stuck his cigarette between his lips and took a drag, tugging her up against his side. “Sire bothering you tonight?”

“No.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Not yet. But, uh, speaking of sires…”

“Yes?”

“What’s Max like?”

David wrinkled his nose slightly. “You worried about him?”

“I might be.”

He sighed. “He’s...fine.”

“Just fine?” Vera asked nervously. “Is that good or bad?”

“What am I supposed to say? He’s my sire. He’s like an annoying father.”

“Were you his first one?” 

“Far as I know.” He shrugged. “If there were others, they died a long time before I came around.”

“Where are you from?”

“You’ve got a lotta questions tonight.”

“So? I’m allowed to be curious about the guy I’m spending eternity with, aren’t I?”

“Sounds less like curiosity and more like you’re terrified of Max. Are you so nervous that you’re trying to delay meeting him?”

“No!” She snapped.

“You are.” Dwayne appeared before her, a small smile on his face. He looked amused. 

It made her scowl.

“I don’t know why you guys think that. I’m not scared, I’m just...cautious.” Vera huffed. 

“It’ll be fine. Let’s go get you that pizza.” Dwayne said nonchalantly. 

“Pizza!” Paul shouted, tripping over himself as he and Marko raced towards the others. 

They skidded to a stop, falling in a tangle of limbs right in front of Vera. Their antics had her smiling, and all four vampires noticed, sharing smug glances with each other. They all wanted to see her happy, and they all noticed whenever she seemed stressed or down. Even though it had only been a few days since they met her, their bonds were already so strong and they already felt so close to her that they couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset.

“Then let’s go,” she said, allowing Dwayne to take her hand and pull her to her feet. 

When he swung her onto his back, she squealed in surprise, immediately locking her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He only laughed, trudging through the sand with the others as if he didn’t even notice her weight on him. And maybe he didn’t—after all, he was a big, strong vampire. He could carry a horse on his shoulders without struggling, and he knew because he had done it several times, back before cars were around. Vera felt like nothing in comparison. 

“Wait, wait,” Paul stopped walking, patting his jacket down as he searched for something. “Where the fuck—Marko, you got my weed?”

“No, but I got mine.” Marko pulled a squished-looking joint out of his pocket. 

“Angel of my life,” Paul gave a dramatic, relieved sigh and snatched it out of his hand. “Can’t have pizza without weed.”

“Definitely makes it more palatable,” David grumbled as he led them up to the boardwalk.

“You don’t like it?” Vera asked. 

“David doesn’t like any human food,” Marko said. 

“Why? Does it give you indigestion?”

Paul let out a loud laugh as he pulled a lighter out. “Probably.”

“No!” David snapped at him. “It just tastes like shit.” 

“That’s because you haven’t tried it my way,” Vera rolled her eyes. 

“And what exactly is your way, sweetheart?” David asked. 

“You just gotta add the right toppings,” She said as Paul lit the joint and handed it to her. 

She puffed on it, turning her head to exhale her smoke away from Dwayne’s face. A few nearby boardwalk-goers wrinkled their noses at her, looking thoroughly disgusted by the gang as they strode past. The boys only laughed at their expressions, Marko leering at them as he took the joint from Vera.

It was passed around as they walked, Dwayne letting go of one of her legs to take a hit when it was his turn. He was carrying her with such ease, as if she weighed absolutely nothing, and she knew that to him, that was pretty much true. If she tried, and if she wanted to, she could probably carry him just as easily. 

But she didn’t want to, because she would much rather be carried than do the carrying. 

“Hey!” A portly security guard stepped out in front of them. 

Paul quickly stashed the joint in his jacket, as if the guard wouldn’t be able to smell the hazy cloud of weed lingering around the group. 

“Haven’t we already spoken about this?” The security guard asked roughly. 

“Well, officer, I’m afraid I don’t recall,” David said, lip pulled up in a small sneer. 

The human narrowed his eyes at all of them. As far as he was concerned, they were just a gang of ne’er-do-wells, a bunch of kids who were never up to any good. He had been a security guard on the Santa Carla boardwalk for a number of years, and while it was a chaotic place full of transients who came and went, he could remember his job being far easier back before these boys showed up. It had been a few years--or was it longer? He couldn’t remember anymore, dammit-- since they first appeared, and he always ended up with a headache whenever they were around. They were just troublemakers, through and through, always getting in fights with other gangs, riding those loud bikes of theirs up and down the beach, breaking just about every rule they possibly could just for the fun of it. 

He supposed they weren’t completely at fault for the way they turned out. In a place like Santa Carla, where there was so much illicit activity going on, kids like them usually didn’t come from happy homes. He didn’t know where they came from, and he didn’t really care, but he did wish that whatever had happened to make them this way hadn’t so that he wouldn’t have to deal with The Lost Boys. 

The guard didn’t like interacting with them. They were rude, especially the leader. He always acted like he was better than everyone else, and he was always quick to get irritated whenever he was told to stop doing something. It seemed like tonight wasn’t any different, and after a few days off, Vernon was back to trying to keep the peace between these boys and the rest of the boardwalk. 

“No smoking on the boardwalk,” he said gruffly, glaring at the four of them. 

“Who’s smoking?” David asked, looking at the others in pretend shock. “Paul, are you smoking? On Vernon’s watch?”

“Me? Nah, no way!” Paul coughed, letting out a puff of smoke he had been holding in for significantly longer than any human should have been able to. He immediately socked Marko in the arm. “You’re not supposed to smoke on Vernon’s boardwalk, Marko!”

“Ow, hey!” Marko rubbed his arm, but before he could retaliate, Paul was already running. The two tore off in the direction they had all originally been heading, narrowly missing bystanders in their hurry to get away and smoke some more.

Vernon looked absolutely exhausted. 

Dwayne was silent, as always, staring him down with those dark eyes. It was then that Vernon finally noticed the girl clinging to the man’s back, and he was immediately concerned. ‘

“Are these boys bothering you, miss?” he asked, hand hovering near the baton he wore on his belt. 

David noticed the slight movement and couldn’t help but snort a laugh. “Bothering her? Course not. She’s with us.”

“Wasn’t asking you,” the guard snapped. 

For a second, Vera thought David was going to kill him then and there. Her mate’s eyes narrowed menacingly, his lip raised in a sneer that she was sure was about to turn into a snarl. He was pissed, and she didn’t need to feel his thoughts to tell. 

He managed to rein himself back in, though, determined to stay in control. Besides, it would be downright embarrassing to be out there acting like a newly-turned vampire, and he wouldn’t be able to stand the ridicule from Paul and Marko. 

So he did his best to behave.

When she saw that David wasn’t going to totally lose it, Vera smiled at the security guard. “No trouble here, officer.”

He didn’t look like he believed her. “You sure? Haven’t seen you around here, so you might not know...but you’d be doing yourself a favor and keeping yourself safer if you stayed away from these four.”

David and Dwayne both chuckled. 

“They seem perfectly harmless to me,” Vera said, rubbing her cheek against Dwayne’s affectionately. 

It made him so happy that he started purring for a moment before he remembered that there was a human standing in front of him and he toned it down again. 

“So thanks for your concern, really,” Vera continued, “but I’m right where I wanna be.”

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Last Part

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 3.4k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | You are on the Last Part

A/N: And so it comes to an end, and let me tell you guys, I am not okay 😔 This is going to be a bit of a longer A/N, so please bear with me. If you’d like to get straight to the story, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, so feel free to click Keep Reading!

Lowkey, I had a bit of a meltdown as I typed the final words on this fic because I hadn’t realized how attached I had grown to the characters. This is the first time I wrote three different chapter openers before deciding on one, because I simply couldn’t believe it was goodbye after this.

These mofos had constantly been on my mind for the past two months and a half. I would spend most days thinking about where to take them and then bringing them to life at night, after my entire day was over. When I wasn’t writing, I’d make little notes about thoughts I had into the night about them so that I wouldn’t forget them when morning comes. 

This was my first ever (and as of right now, my only) chaptered fic. I had no idea parting with it would be as emotional as it was. When I think back to when I first received the prompt for this, I had never even imagined I could write Renjun, let alone a series. But there was something in the prompt that had gotten my wheels turning. And I am so immensely glad that it did. There were days when I thought “Oh man, what have I gotten myself into.” Some days, the story would just flow. Other days, I’d keep staring at the blinking cursor not knowing what to type. But when I did, I found my emotions so deeply connected with the characters. I was happy when they were happy. I was sad when they were sad. So, parting with them is very hard to say the least.

But through this journey, I got to experience the joy of reading all of your reviews and comments and honestly, it made it all worth it. THANK YOU to every single one of you that read this story and waited on it and laughed and cried with it. You have made my life better in more ways than you can imagine.

In this moment, I want to thank 🍙 anon, because it was their prompt that put me in this mess in the first place. And so, it is only fitting that I dedicate the final part to them 💛

“Oh, we definitely need a picture together. How about here? I think this place would fit everyone.” Kim Doyoung looks about, finding a spot best suited for the photo he wanted.

“I think right there on the platform would be better. We could get everyone in two tiers.” his assistant suggests.

“You’re a genius. Let’s gather everyone. It’s not often that so many NCTU grads and students come to Midnight Arthouse,” Doyoung nods.

“How many of us are here, anyway?” Renjun muses. The assistant looks at her iPad, checking once again.

“I think there’s 23 of you. So, let’s definitely go for the platform.” she nods.

“Okay, then.” Doyoung claps his hands together once, “Gather everyone,” he says to no one in particular and walks ahead with purpose. Renjun and the assistant’s eyes meet and they smirk. Of course this was directed to the both of them. So, they set about to work.

As it would turn out, gathering 23 people from a charity event with art and food and drinks would be a bit of a task. But somehow, they manage to gather all alumni and current students on the platform in three tiers instead of two for a somewhat chaotic picture. There must’ve been something in the water at NCTU because none of it’s students could stand still for very long. They get maybe one decent picture and several in which someone or the other was moving or pulling a face.

His friends aside, looking around at the group, Renjun realized that he recognized nearly all of them. Yangyang and Hendery and the rest of their frat were here. As were the 127s, old and new. Renjun recognized them all, except maybe two boys, who didn’t seem to know a lot of the others either. When the pictures were done and the main events were over and the crowd had started to dissipate, Renjun finally walked over to the artwork to observe it up close.

Honestly speaking, watching the work with his own two eyes left no doubt in his mind that this artist deserved to be spotlighted like this. This work was in a league of its own. Watching it makes Renjun smile; because looking at it makes him think back to a few months ago when he was sitting in Kim Doyoung’s office, thinking of himself as some sort of a big shot. But the truth is, there was no way he had that caliber then, and there is no way he has that caliber now, though he was sure as hell working on it.

“This is the piece I lost the bid on.” Renjun hears a voice and he turns around to see Zhong Chenle’s father observing the art with him. Renjun bows politely and smiles under his mask,

“I mean, this is a remarkable piece. You have good taste.” Renjun acknowledges.

“What about you? Why isn’t any of your artwork displayed here?” he asks and for a while, Renjun smiles a bit nostalgically. He could’ve been here, had he made something for the Annuale. Had he just selfishly taken that shot. Then again, there would’ve been no real guarantees. Because Kim Doyoung was pretty particular in the people he chose, whether they were recommended by his family or not. Working with him closely in the last couple of months had taught Renjun that. It had also taught him how underdeveloped his skill was in the real world context.

“I guess I still have a long way to go.” Renjun replies humbly.

“Don’t we all?” Chenle’s father nods, “Are you working here at this establishment?” 

“Um, I… I suppose I am. I am Kim Doyoung’s apprentice. He is my mentor.” Renjun nods.

“So I might see your work here soon enough, eh?” Renjun assumes the kind man is smiling under his mask because his eyes seem to be making the same shape as Chenle’s do when he smiles. So Renjun grins back.

“I mean… if I work really hard, I might get to shoot my shot in the next Midnight Arthouse Annuale.” Renjun fantasizes.

“Or maybe you’d get lucky like this young artist,” he points his chin towards the artwork.

Renjun smiles, “I would credit her luck, too if I hadn’t seen her work. But her talent is… it kinda speaks for itself.”

“Oh, no, you should definitely credit her luck. Talent isn’t enough. The stars have to align. Luck, talent, the right place, the right time. It all has to come together.” he says nodding. 

Renjun considers his words. They seem to be coming from the wisdom of experience. 

What if Renjun hadn’t received the phone call about his grandma back then? Well, then he probably would’ve made something lackluster and gotten rejected. Working with Kim Doyoung has taught him as much. It didn’t matter who had put a word in for him. At the end of the day, his work had to be outclass.

What if he had received the phone call and then still had enough time to submit something for the Annuale? Then he still probably wouldn’t have because… well, because of you.

What if he had gone ahead, regardless of you or his grandma and just made something and submitted it? Then he still would’ve been rejected. Because the truth of the matter is, he just didn’t have the caliber that artists associated with Midnight Arthouse did.

In that sense, Renjun supposes everything was in fact happening at the right place and right time now. Doyoung was mentoring him and he was getting better by the day. The stars were aligning for him. He knew it in his heart.

“Then I would wish that it all comes together for me, too.” Renjun says.

“When it does, young man, I’ll be the first one to bid on your work.” he says and Renjun doesn’t even have the time to react when he feels a presence breeze in his direction and invade his personal space.

Renjun doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. He can tell by the way this body fits perfectly into his side. He can tell by how naturally his own body responds and just puts his arm around it’s waist.

“Oh man, I missed all of it, didn’t I?” you lament, as you loop your arms around his neck from the side instead of a hello.

“Not all of it. The guys just left but your brother and his friends are still here. Besides, you had work.” Renjun turns his head and looks into your eyes to reassure you. “Y/N, this is Chenle’s father.”

“Oh, hello!” you say cheerfully and respectfully bow and give you greetings. “It is so nice to meet you. Chenle looks just like you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told I’m a more handsome version of him,” he smiles then turns to Renjun, “And who might this young lady be?”

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N. She goes to NCTU with us.” Renjun introduces you and you bow again. Oh, the thrill he got every time he got to introduce you as his girlfriend. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he’d never tire of it, even if it had just been a few months. The serotonin boost in his veins is strong and he gets the urge to squeeze you and hold you forever.

“Oh, that’s very nice. Come have a meal with us before we have to catch a plane back home, okay?” Chenle’s father invites the two of you. 

“Oh, I would love to!” you say in your chipper tone before your eyes start darting around “I’m going to have to excuse myself for a little bit, I just wanna say hi to my brother.” you say and you politely bow before you start moving away.

“Babe, hang on…” Renjun says, holding you back by your hand. He brings his fingers delicately to the bridge of your nose and softly pinches down the mask over it so it sits more snugly on you. “There, it’s much safer now.” Renjun nods and watches the affectionate smile your eyes give before you move away. You looked so pretty today, even if you were just coming back from a four-hour internship. You were easily the most beautiful girl in this room, though Renjun suspected that you’d be the most beautiful girl in any room you entered. 

Albeit sometimes, Renjun had to wonder if your talent or your beauty was greater. Because you had become the only junior in NCTU to land an internship at the SMK Trainee Drive. And now that you were a senior, you were somehow managing to keep your grades up alongside it. 

Renjun, on the other hand, would find himself struggling with balancing his apprenticeship with his school work. So he knew firsthand how your discipline was something else altogether. Recently though, he had experienced a rise in his grades because you had been taking him on so many study dates that your organizational skills and motivation had started to rub off on him.

Renjun walks around the studio and the party and feels like it’s been too long till you’re finally back by his side. 

“Love in the Time of Corona,” you read the title of an art piece displayed in front of you. “That was supposed to be our thing.”

Renjun laughs and has no qualms in looping his arms around your waist and finally pulling you into himself.

“I guess we should’ve realized then how un-novel the idea would become in a few months.” he comments. 

“Un-novel is not a word, Huang Renjun.” you narrow your eyes at him.

Renjun laughs. “It is now,” he says and lets out a long exhale, “I missed you today.” he complains, though he looks down at you with warmth.

“Well, you’ve got me now. And you have me for the entire weekend.” you reassure him, your palms on his chest.

“Mhmm.” Renjun smiles and he wants to lean in to kiss you. But Kim Doyoung specifically had people assigned to walk around and make sure that everyone had their masks on when inside. “Also, we already have a thing.” he reminds you and winks.

You laugh, and say “I guess we do,” then let out a happy sigh as your eyes avert from his for a moment, taking in your surroundings. “Our Couple Thing should give you some ideas on what you can make when your work is displayed here in the 2022 Annuale. I won’t be late to that, I promise. I’ll take a day off from everything else in my life.”

Renjun's heart grows warmer still, and he’s sure his eyes reflect what he feels, “How can you be so sure my work will be displayed in the 2022 Annuale?”

“I don’t know, Huang Renjun. I just have a feeling about you.” you say and Renjun can see you smile even if your lips are covered by a mask. Your eyes always smiled before your mouth did, anyway.

“Y/N L/N, I have a feeling about you, too.” he retorts. 

“And what feeling would that be?” you raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a secret.” he says, but now he sees your pout, even if he can’t see your mouth because your cheeks have puffed up over the mask. It makes him laugh.

“You’re no fun.” you protest.

“I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” Renjun offers.

“Well, I’m ready to leave.” you jut your chin up. Renjun grins and offers you his arm. You grab it with your entire body and the two of you start walking out together.

You had plans for the weekend, after all. And Renjun was determined to keep you all to himself for once, with no one else demanding your time. Not your internship, not your assignments, not any of your friends, and especially not Lee fucking Donghyuck. He was finally going to take you away where it could just be you and him and nobody else.

This moment felt way too surreal to Renjun.

The campfire had simmered down from a glorious roar to a comfortable burn, giving off just enough heat in the cool of an early winter evening. The sky was in it’s fading moments, where the pink of the light was slowly turning to violets and the violets were slowly merging into darks. 

Renjun remembered suggesting to you all that time ago that maybe you could go somewhere together. But now that he was here, he hadn’t imagined that the moment would feel as surreal as it did. 

Because now the two of you are sitting in front of your tent by the fire, entwined in one another. You’re sitting between his legs, arms around his neck, nuzzling your cheek inside his padded jacket while he supports your head on his arm and kisses you.

He’s holding you in his arms and kissing you and everything seems so perfect that for a moment, he has to pull away to watch your face and wonder if all of this was real. And though there is a gentle smile on your face, you’re not opening your eyes much. Because you know full well that Renjun’s lips would be back on yours in no time. So you play with his hair as they fall to his forehead and when he kisses you again, you press up into him so he would wrap his arms around you and hold you tighter. He does and he rubs his hands up and down your back and attempts to close his jacket around you.

“Are you cold?” he asks lovingly. You shake your head.

“No. I just want to crawl inside you.” you say, like it’s the most logical thing to be said.

“Creepy.” Renjun remarks but holds you closer still.

“You should be happy you haven’t seen my collection of your hair clippings.” you quip as you nip into the skin of his neck.

“Oh, sweet. That rivals all your used tissues I’ve kept in my shrine at home.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” you coo at him and then lean up to kiss him some more and he laughs. But soon, he pushes the arm that you were using like a pillow up so your face would be closer to his and he could kiss you as deeply as he was truly craving. 

The two of you keep kissing like that till the sky is dark. It was an odd sort of trance, being so lost in one another that neither of you cared about what time it was or how long you had been sitting here, wrapped up in one another. Your phones were zipped away in your bags and you hadn’t checked them even once since you had parked your camping van and set up your tent. It was a slow, peaceful sort of bliss, just sitting by the fire and kissing and kissing with nothing else on your minds but being here like this with one another.

“Renjun?” you say, your voice sounding like it was returning from a deep thought.

“Hmm?” Renjun asks as he combs your hair away from your pretty face.

“You know, I learnt today that a cactus can live anywhere between 10 and 200 years.” you tell him, idly tracing the birthmark on the back of his hand.

Renjun leans in and presses long into your lips. “Yeah?” he replies and watches your face. It seemed hazily focused, like it was trying to catch onto a faraway thought.

“I also learnt that it can take up to 30 years for a cactus to bear flowers.” you say in an introspective, wistful tone.

Renjun looks away to hide his smile. Oh God, you were so cute. “Yeah?” he says again, but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep a serious face.

“Sometimes, a cactus doesn’t flower at all.” you say and then you turn your head to look at him like you’ve resurfaced from your thoughts and are now in the moment. Renjun’s grin grows wider. “Renjunnn…” you whine and so he has no choice but to tenderly hold your cheeks in his palms and stroke your hair.

“What?” he chuckles.

“You said you’d think you’re worthy of my forgiveness when the cactus bears flowers.” you whine again and Renjun has to plant a loving kiss to your forehead.

“Is that what I said?” he chuckles some more and then leans in to kiss the anxious realization away from your lips. 

“Renjun.” you pout and Renjun laughs and takes his beautiful, whiny, kindhearted girlfriend in his arms and hopes that his hold could chase away all the worries from her pretty, brilliant mind.

He kisses you because his heart can’t bear it any longer. How did he manage to hold a heart like yours in his hand?

Renjun feels an indescribable amount of happiness. Like he wasn’t sure that you were really here with him, in his arms, all for him to hold, with no worry or burden afflicting him. The happiness is so immense and so incredible and so heavy that for a moment, he feels it suffocating him. He wonders if he deserved this kind of happiness.

But right in the next moment, he stops himself. He knew how easy it was to relapse into those tempting, lonesome thoughts. But if there was anything that therapy was teaching him, it was that of course he deserved happiness. 

Though right now, holding you in his arms, this happiness was choking him. He felt like his heart was swelling and pressing against his lungs and his chest couldn’t bear it and he could no longer breathe. 

“Y/N…” he exhales, holding you back so he can look at your face and you could look up into his. He pauses to gather another breath. Then, he just says it. “I love you.”

And doing so does the trick. He feels his chest slowly getting lighter, because this is what it had been bursting with. Now, he’s told you. Now, it can be unburdened.

You look up at him and there is nothing but a sparkle in your eye, and tenderness in your smile. For a while, you say nothing, just looking upon his eyes like that. “Thank you.” you finally whisper back at him.

Renjun pauses for a moment. But then, he relaxes. This was okay. You didn’t have to say it back right away. Renjun was ready to give you as much time as you needed. So he presses his lips into your forehead once again till he feels you laughing against him. He pulls back in confusion and you grab at the lapel of his parka.

“Huang Renjun…” you say and he looks back at you with uncertainty, “... I love you, too.”

And Renjun can’t help it if he kisses you too hard. He can’t help it that he’s squeezing you too tight. He wouldn’t care if the night brightens back into morning and the morning fades back into night. He was going to hold you just like this for the rest of his life. 

So he lays you down and kisses you deeper, like he wanted to make up for all the time he had lost. All the time in his life when he hadn’t known you. All the time he had known you and didn’t let himself have you. He was going to make up for it all. And as he zips the tent up and shields you from the rest of the world, he wonders if he could spend all of his days just like this. Holding you and loving you and knowing that you loved him back; and if he could, today was a damn good day to start.

The fire slows to a simmer till all that’s left are embers that keep being carried away by the breeze. But the two of you remain inside, in your own world, happy that you had found one another, happy that you could finally have one another. Happy that you could hold one another and say that you loved each other and have nothing in the world hold you back, not now, not ever.

You were Y/N and Renjun, Renjun and Y/N, two names that were forever intertwined because that’s how people would call you now. You were the couple that belonged so perfectly with one another that people would wonder if you’d been together for years. And any time someone with a burning curiosity would come up to you and ask,

“So, where did you guys meet?” you would just look at one another, smile and say, “Well, we met in online class.”

~THE END

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[thismaydestroyme]

Little Did I know Pt. 2

summary: in this short story, harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. i included some song lyrics from different amazing artists, and i pretended that harry and y/n wrote it.

author’s note: i wrote the beginning of this two months ago me being lazy i picked up where i left off because i’m too lazy to read through this. so if there’s any major fuck ups then…. i did warn you that i’m incompetent

word count: 3165

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out, and little did you know Harry was front and center watching your trainwreck of a performance. 

Harry did a whole french inhale without breaking eye contact with you. “I really wanna dance tonight with you.” Y/N hears Brittany playing in the background which you pause the music, to see what Harry would say about your little ‘performance.’ 

“Really? A slave? don’t you think it’s pretty dramatic don’t ya think?” Harry says, raising one of his eyebrows. You know he’s just playing around, but you coudn’t help feeling embarrassed how he fucking witnessed… that. You don't want Harry to know that you’re embarrassed, so you did the next best thing. 

“That fucking snake was huge. Did you know she was holding an Albino Burmese Python? I bet MTV wasn’t expecting that. Do you think MTV got filthy rich from that performance? Everyone tuned in for that performance and till this day it’s still the most talked about.” You ramble and spew out random information you bet Harry couldn’t care two shit about.” Harry has a smirk on his face, you bet he was enjoying you looking like a damn idiot. 

You start profusely apologizing until Harry interrupts you, “Do you want to come over?” He says all nonchalantly and walks away without you even agreeing. You’re all stunned and weren't able to even say one single word or even move your two feet. Harry doesn’t need to turn around to see you not moving, “C’mon weirdo, don’t act all shy with me now.” He threw back. 

“Fuck.” You whisper, but your feet finally start to move and your feet are heading straight to Harry. 

Harry turned his head and started to smirk, but he kept walking which had you feeling some nerves building up in your stomach. You’re not scared per se, just you’re going to Harry Styles house. This is normal. This is fine. This is just a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

Cool. 

When you finally get to his entrance Harry is already inside and he disappears somewhere because you don’t see him. You hesitantly walk inside and shut the door behind you. When you turn around you couldn’t help, but notice the disarray this house is covered in. Your mouth gape opened, but you immediately brought your hands to cover up how shocked you are. You couldn’t help but gawk at Harry’s place. There’s a big pink couch in the center of the room which is covered in boxes and clothes. There’s a TV on the floor which doesn’t seem to be plugged in because you don’t see it even plugged in. You try not to be too judgy because he did just move in, so what do you expect?  Harry having his life all sorted out in a span of a couple of weeks? 

You almost missed the nice white fluffy carpet that’s underneath the couch. Even though Harry’s place is a disaster, you can envision what Harry is planning on doing when he has his stuff all situated. In the back of your mind you hope he might even invite you back if he does a ‘welcoming party.’

Before you could even investigate more Harry walks back in with two bottles of water in his hand. He’s already drinking out of one of them, so he handed the one that hasn’t been opened to you. You reach your hands over to grab it. 

“This isn’t safe for the environment.” You states while unscrewing the cap. 

“Well.. you belting out to Britney is an endangerment to our society, so I guess we both got the short end of the sticks.” 

You immediately start drinking your water because you didn’t have your next rebuttal. You start scanning the room and hoping it’ll have your heartbeat settle down because you can feel it through your chest. Harry moves from his spot and starts taking boxes off the couch and to make some room for the both of you. He had to take down three boxes, so you could both sit comfortably. 

Harry walks over to you, but you freeze. Harry was pleased knowing he had you all flustered. It was one of Harry’s turn ons. Harry sits and brings his arms draping on the back of the couch which would have you being in his arm if you decide to sit right there. A couple of seconds of you contemplating you walk towards Harry and hesitantly sit down. 

“I’m not going to bite.” he whispers in your left ear. Feeling his breath in your ear made you slightly clench your thighs together, hoping Harry doesn’t notice. But knowing your track record he probably did notice.

You try to come up with a conversation starter that hopefully doesn't hold all the spotlight on you. You look down at her close water bottle and scrambling for something in her head. 

“Now you’re shy. The last time I checked up you were coming for my head after that  mishap with your dog earlier.” 

“You deserved it. You were attacking Cosmo, so yeah. I was in fact coming for your ass.” You glance your eyes to Harry. You’re overly protected over Cosmo. Cosmo is your life.

Harry gave you a smirk. He couldn’t help but to admire your bluntness. He barely comes across people who lit a fire inside of him. They always try to please him because he is a celebrity, and people just want to please him- which he doesn’t mind, but he does wish they sometime bites back. Having you in his presence he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, little did he know, he wants to get to know you more. 

“What do you do, Y/N besides piercing people’s eardrums and being a dog mom.” 

“Ummm.. that’s a loaded fucking question. But you being Harry fuckin’ Styles I guess I have to come up with something to make myself more interesting and less… chaotic. Well I’m a 21 years old who doesn’t have anything to offer to this world. I live my life accepting I’ll probably be working at Newbury Comics. And on top of that I love music, but I’ll be considered unqualified because I have no talents, and all I could do is muster up some mediocre lyrics that I have stored in my notes app.” 

Harry didn’t break any eye contact when you were summarizing your sad life. That created a pit in your stomach because you never experienced anything that could ever compare to Harry’s tense gaze. 

Harry never encountered anyone in the span of meeting them baring their skin to him. He couldn’t help, but feel some sort of pride knowing he created a space for Y/N to be able to let your hair down and express herself in full detail. He feels more drawn to you because he knows what you’re feeling. The unknown is a scary thing to feel, but you’re doing that with grace without you even realizing it. Just accepting reality is the biggest thing to acknowledge, and you’re doing just that. 

“What do you have on your notes? Could you even help me write my next album.” Harry shrug glances his eyes away from you. 

You feel a surge of worries entering her body. You don't know what’s going on, and you don't like it. “What?! You barely know me. My so-called ‘lyrics’ could be shitty and cliche. What are you getting out of this? My humiliation?” You don't like being taken as a joke, but that’s all  you could come up with this peculiar interaction. Harry sees a naive little girl. 

“You’re pretty,” Harry says. And that’s all he said. He got up and walked out the room. You're left on the couch alone, and not understanding what he just said. Just a few minutes ago he asked for your help, and now just a few seconds ago he said you’re pretty. What kind of fuckery is this?!

You immediately got up and walked to whatever room you could find Harry in. It wasn’t that hard because Harry is in the kitchen. 

“Harry! I need you to explain. Talk to me, please.” You say while running her hands down your face. You thanked yourself for not wearing any makeup.

“Uh, you beg. I like that Y/N,” Harry chuckles and closes his fridge door. 

“Well…. I do find you attractive and I see a potential in you. I might be wrong or I might be right. There’s nothing wrong with finding out and seeing what you have.” Harry says. Harry isn’t afraid to look people in the eyes, but you sure do. You’re debating if you should  take this risk. Harry did say there’s nothing wrong with finding it out. 

“Fine. I will take that jump with you.” You say unsurely, but you have some faith in him and a little bit in yourself. 

“Good. Now can you stop being tense and enjoy yourself. You’re in fact talking to the one and only Harry Styles.” 

“Shut up, doofus.” 

One month Later

After Harry made the deal with you a month ago,  you guys have been surprisingly working together quite nicely. You guys wrote one complete song, and that song is now called, “Dirty Little Secret.” You can’t wait to hear Harry sing that song with his band because you’re pretty sure it will fit the band theme for his upcoming album. Harry doesn’t want to limit himself, but he does have an idea to make his third album mostly rock. 

Harry didn’t expect you to be a fuckin’ genious. Watching you in the corner jotting down lines in your beat up notebook with a pen in your hand made you start feeling someway. You always appreciate the art seeing people enjoy what they do, but Y/N is truly gifted because she has no experience with producing music. One long night two weeks ago you guys were sleep deprived because there was a week where you guys would stay up all night to write and you would stop when you saw the sunrise. Y/N found her love in music because of her father. He was a huge factor that made her who she is today. There was substance in her when she would talk about the accent in a song, how she would bounce that off with the bar while you would play the instruments. Y/N is truly a force to be reckoned with and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would be like to have her on tour with you. 

Y/N never felt more alive after her father passed. It’s like Harry woken something inside of her. You never thought you would experiment with music with Harry Styles, the artist for this generation. You’re not going to lie that you would watched all of his interviews and he would talk about when he write songs he has no boundaries, and it’s crazy he upheld that ideology because Harry made sure you know that there’s no right or wrong way, the only way is to play around and see how it goes. 

“I’m going to get some water. Do you want some?” You ask Harry dropping your notebook on the coffee table that’s covered in rolled up papers and a lot of take out boxes.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says. You nod at him, and you got up to grab two cups of ice water for you both. 

Your notebook page flipped to a new page and Harry couldn’t help but notice to see “Bubblegum Bitch” written in all caps. Harry got intrigued, so he happily kicked the table so the book could fall, so his excuse could be, “Y/N it fell.” 

Harry kicked the coffee table with his big ass feet and the notebook happily splat on the floor. Harry reached for it and started flipping pages to see that title again, and it took him a couple of tries to find it. 

“Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll

Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored

I'm the girl you'd die for”

Harry couldn’t help but not try to read all the lyrics. He wants to digest it all, but he knew Y/N could walk in any second. He couldn’t help but make a small gasp when he skimmed to the part of the song that had him falling on his knees 

“I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch.” 

“Harry, what are you doing?” Y/N says timidly. On the outside Y/N is calm and cool and collective, but on the inside you’re shaking and screaming. Your songs are attended only to you, not for other eyes to see. You’re still not confident with your writing abilities when it comes to songs for yourself, but knowing your idol probably read more than one line of your song is having you want the ground to swallow you up. 

“I’m not going to tiptoe around you and pretend Y/N. Bubblegum Bitch is amazing, fuck maybe fucking brillant Y/N. Shit.” Harry says he looks at you but goes back down to your notebook flipping pages after pages. 

You’re stuck where you’re standing. Feeling the condensation of two cups of water you’re currently holding is the only concept you’re able to maintain. 

Did Harry say that he likes your songs? Did he say brilliant? You’re not able to speak, all you’re able to do is walk up to the coffee table, drop the cups down and grab your notebook from Harry's grabby hands and collect your belongings. This is too much. You feel too much. You simply can’t right now. 

Harry sees you picking up your stuff and shoving your notebook and pens in your purse you bring every time you visit him. Harry couldn’t help, but feel bad that he could possibly make you feel uncomfortable. 

Harry stands up and starts walking up to where you are putting the last thing in your bag, “Y/N I’m sorry if me going through your stuff made you angry, but I couldn't help it Y/N. What I read was amazing, you’re amazing.” Harry hurrys out his words because he felt if he didn’t say it fast enough you would vanish. 

You’re trying to hold back your tears because it’s getting too much for you. The last time somebody read your stuff was your father, and right now you feel like you’re betraying the intimate moments you had with him. He was the one you would share your songs first with him. Now that he’s gone, you couldn’t put yourself out there to have someone else read it. You turn back around and you try to give a smile to Harry. 

“It’s okay, I- I just have to go. I’m sorry. We can talk later.” You push past Harry to make it to the front door, but you feel someone hand on your wrist so you immediately stop. 

“Y/N, I can’t have you leave, when I know that you’re not okay. Can you please talk to me? Please?” There’s a hint of sadness in Harry. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave him without having the answer he’s yearning for. 

You turn around and there’s Harry. His green eyes are pleading with yours, and you couldn’t help, but do what Harry is asking you to do. 

“Okay, I don’t want pity. Okay? Tell me you understand.” You ask Harry because the last thing you want from him is sympathy. 

“I promise Y/N. Would you mind if we sit down?” You nod your head and he walks you back with his hand in your hand. You both couldn’t help but feel some sort of palse running inside you both while holding each other's hands. It’s something both of you guys can’t simply forget. 

You got to the couch and you both sat down, no longer holding hands. You adjust yourself so you can face him. “Okay. My father died a couple of years ago and he was the only one I let read my stuff first. After he passed I never showed anyone my stuff because it would feel like I’m replacing him. I’m not mad that you read my stuff- I was just surprised, and I couldn’t help it but feel sadness creeping over me. Once again, I’m not angry at you, I’m just adjusting to a new milestone I just crossed without me not realizing it.” You say, and you’re hoping Harry doesn’t say, “Oh I’m sorry”  because you’re sorry to. 

“Well, I’m not sorry for your loss,” Harry says and you couldn’t help, but smile and laugh. “but I’m not sorry that I read it. You have something Y/N and I know you told me you haven’t had any experience in music industry, but fuck that. You have passion and I feel that every time we write something together in the past month, I don’t think I'll be able to forget about you when the summer is over.” Harry says. There was so much sincerity in what he just said.  

You thought it was all one sided because you felt so much being with Harry. You felt you were finally seeing a rainbow you hadn’t seen in a very long time. Harry brings so much out of you that you. Harry was always there when you were scared to take the first step. Him being there with you made it less scary because he was there every step of the way.

Harry didn’t expect he would’ve met someone this summer who would make such an impact on him. Harry thought he would do a lot of hooks up, go to parties and write for the entirety of the summer. But the universe had something planned for him. He met Y/N. He didn’t want to tell Y/N he that he found his first and only love, but he didn’t want to scare her. She could probably feel the same way or she only saw him as a friend but neither of them were ready for that big leap of faith. Even Y/N knew Harry is someone she couldn’t live without because he brings something out of you that you never felt in your entire life and that was courage and faith. 

Y/N met her faith. Only time could tell if faith would lead Harry and Y/N the soulmate they both were looking for.

“Harry, I don’t think I could possibly forget about you.” Y/N whisper because you felt if you used your normal voice the bubble you guys created would shatter within seconds.

Faith is a silly thing because faith could have you longing for something that’s impossible to grasp or faith could have you leaving you vulnerable, but that vulnerability could unlock something you never dreamt was even possible.