#all past posts should already be changed accordingly

[hypewinter]

Ok so here's the deal. I'm not gonna be able to upload ch 3 of Raising a Ghost. You see what happened was, I kinda maybe sorta......got sidetracked by a completely different story that has nothing to do with anything I've worked on in the past. Whoops. To make matters worse, I couldn't even finish that story because I got sick. Double whoops.

So to make up for that, I'll be posting little prompts and ideas throughout the day. Hope you enjoy!!

[anemoiashifts]

what your desired reality self wants you to know, pick an object reading !

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

happy shifting september ! thank you to everyone who voted for this months reading ! i stated before the idea of doing a shifting reading that you guys can vote on at the top of every month & intend to post one of these on the first of every month ! if you’d like to vote for octobers, the poll is on my profile right now & will be available to vote through the week of this is posted.

as always, please do not force this message if it doesn’t resonate. there will be more readings to come ! ⋆.˚

✦

🐾 | sweater french bulldog °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

songs: about you by the 1975, stained glass by madison beer, chewing cotton wool by the japanese house.

the tldr of this reading waiting for new beginnings to take shape. when you think one journey has ended, another will arise. your dr self wants to remind you that shifting should not be the end goal. the progress you’ve made on your shifting journey is the first step of of a long, long path of lessons & leaning about how you operate.

the emotions that had risen for this reading were feelings of being overwhelmed, slow healing & lack of progress. this time — being “trapped” in your current reality — is not to punish you. it it not to keep you down but to prove to yourself you are capable of overcoming every obstacle that is thrown your way. take this time to be gentle with yourself & care for practice self soothing techniques accordingly. you cannot always control your circumstances; only how you react to them. improving mindset towards your situation & finding a way to balance energies amidst chaos will do you wonders. remember to stay grounded & grateful even when things seem bleak.

✦

🪻 | purple orchid °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

songs: art deco by lana del rey, to be human marina, holding onto you by twenty one pilots.

your gift to manifest your desires is within you. if you think you are incapable of manifesting, you are being urged to reflect on your past assumptions & look at what thoughts you have when going about life. however, something is blocking you from unleashing your inner gifts. you are denying yourself whatever that may be all while ignoring what needs attention in this moment, even if it’s separate from shifting. chances are there is a repressed creative side of you or an upbringing that has been taken from you due to circumstance.

to put this bluntly, you may be emotionally unstable & unsure of what you actually want. to provide clarity, sit down with your thoughts & journal or scrapbook (changes are, you are already doing so). mental clarity will come in the form of creation. remember, you create your own reality. you are not the projections & assumptions people have placed upon you. there is nothing wrong with you.

✦

🍆 | eggplant bartholomew bear °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

songs: no time to die by billie elish, watercolor eyes by lana del rey, illicit affairs by taylor swift,

you love hard. in partnerships, friendships, romantic relationships, family. some may even say you’re a little bit of a hopeless romantic. however, it feels like your mind & heart are at war constantly; logic vs emotion. the logical part tends to think “shifting isn’t real, I’ll never do it” while your heart is screaming at you that “shifting has to be real, there is so much life to be lived”. though, you cannot logic your way through shifting, you do not need to eliminate one voice & instead bring them together.

be warned, this is not an easy process & takes great emotional strength & patience with yourself as you find ways internally to satisfy both sides of yourself. i don’t have those answers but do not give into the temptation to be pulled into a daydream to cope with these conflicting beliefs. you are seemingly a smart person even if grades or test scores do not or have not shown that in the past. you have a unique way of going about both your current reality & every one you experience.

✦

thank you for reading. i hope this resonates ! 🫂🤍

[lovebugs-and-snakecharmers]

LBSC Lukanette Month - September 2024

Welcome to LBSC Lukanette Month 2024! If you're in a hurry, skip on down to the prompt list below, but be sure to check out the rest of the post for information about where and how to post for maximum visibility. Just to be clear, even though we call it LBSC Lukanette month, ANYONE can participate. There's no membership card and you don't have to join the discord or follow the blog.

You will notice we have many more than 30 prompts here - because there's no such thing as too many prompts. This way you can pick and choose which ones speak to you. As with all of our events, the rules are quite laid back (although we do have some hard and fast rules at the bottom of the post regarding the type of content). You may fill as many or as few prompts as you like, as often as you like, in whatever order you like, in whatever format you like (sprint, minific, 30 chapter epic, whatever makes you happy). Our official event dates are September 1 through September 30, but if you post outside of those dates, we'll still reblog. If you're inspired to write something that you wouldn't otherwise have written, our goals are met, so don't fret about the rules - unless rules inspire you, in which case, take the first 30 or the last 30 prompts and write one prompt every day.

If you are having trouble finding a prompt that speaks to you, you can also check out the LBSC Smooch Roulette generator or take a look at our past sprint prompts.

Please make sure to tag @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers in the body of your post so that we can be sure to reblog your work and include it in our final summary post!

If you post to AO3 please tag LBSC Lukanette Month 2024 and add your work to our collection here.

Feel free to drop any questions in our ask box or join our discord group.

Blue

Pink

Blackout

Locked In

Getaway/Vacation/Road Trip

Out of Town

Street/Craft Fair

Laundry Snuggles

New Pet

A: says something stupid B: laughing "Shut up. I love you."

Broken chair

Big Changes/Little Changes

City Walks

Streetlamp

Music

Shipwrecked

Memory loss

Bonfire

Thief

Headphone

Escape

Dorm

Myth

Planetarium

Change

Voice

Opposite

Improvise

Complications

Fancy Dress

Silly Costumes

Stars

Scales

Compass

Rhythm

Lightning/Spark

Mischief

Notebook

Melody

Secrets/Surprises

"Do you trust me?"

"I can't believe our first date ended in the emergency room."

"Why do I feel like you enjoy getting yourself into danger?"

"Are you okay?" "That was really attractive."

"You're a terrible liar." "I don't know what you mean." "You're smiling."

"I missed my chance once. I won't miss it again."

Rooftop

Free fall

Fate

Concert

Bridge

Piercing

"It‘s not what it looks like!"

"I already take care of 18 little guys so what‘s one more?"

"Is that my hoodie?"

Ink

Fortune

Famous

Panda

"Love is a choice, and I've made mine."

"Look, I know I don't deserve a second chance. But I'm hoping you'll let me have one anyway."

Unexpected

Stage fright

Nail polish

First tattoo/piercing

Secrets

Promises

Learning to drive/ride a bike

Airport

Luggage

Regret

The Rest of the Rules:

NSFW responses are permitted but characters must be 18 or older and the fic should be tagged accordingly. This is a Lukanette blog and a Lukanette event, so while Lukanette does not need to be the main ship, it needs to at least be included or referenced and considered endgame (in other words, they don’t have to be together by the end of your work, but the intent is that they’re headed in that direction, and if they're not, it's a tragedy, not The Best Thing For Everybody). The decision about what qualifies for reblog rests solely with the LBSC moderators. If a piece hasn’t been reblogged within a couple of days, either the mods felt the piece didn’t meet the criteria or it was simply missed; you are welcome to reach out in the asks to inquire which.

[lains-reality]

love, i'm 17 years old now. but i want to be 14 yk? but i want to my family and friends are on the same idea you know? i don't know how to do this

you want to change your age? and you're unsure about the changes to the past... ok!

here's my other post around this topic

the first thing to understand is that you are not your body or your mind. you are pure awareness. you're beingness (sense of being) comes first before any other concept.

sentences start with I AM, right? this is your beingness. your being comes before everything. it's the start and the end. anything else added after that is not you, that's why you can change it! see how the 'I AM' is present tense? all is now. the desire is now. you are reality. you breathe life into concepts.

what you need to understand is that there is only the present moment. the past can only be accessed in memory. everytime you remember the past, you bring it to now and through your awareness of it, it brings it back to life again. going back to memories is a habit. the past is just a sensation in awareness

when you're changing the 'past' your just becoming aware of a reality where you are 14 now. you'll be born on your ideal year, and whatever else that goes along with being 14.

you just need to identify as being 14. you might find it hard, but this is if you still take all those old memories and thoughts to be real. when you decide that you are 14, you might go back to memories or feel like it's 'not working'

you are not the body or the mind, which allows you to disidentify with any of the characters story through indifference. it's not you or yours, why should you care?

detachment is that nothing owns you and indifference is the feeling that comes from it. this actually allows more space for love & happiness to grow because you're not putting so much pressure on the character. you don't feel bound or like you must do xyz. this all becomes a play, you're watching your characters story play out!

so if you're feeling like your struggling with everything going against your new body age then you need to understand who you are and release any feelings or beliefs that keep coming up

1. you are not the body-mind -> automatically all the memories, feelings, desires, struggles etc related to the character dissappear. keep asserting the truth!

always remember that any thoughts or feelings cannot undo the truth. welcome in any discomfort and sit with it. do not try to get rid of it, by allowing space for it, it leaves by itself.

2. be equal minded towards both characters. choosing a new character is much easier when you are not depending everything on it. be aware of any extra pressure you're putting on yourself or the desire. remember the desire is not gonna fulfil anything, the story that you want from it e.g. fun, ease, is your true nature already.

the character you see now and the new one are both unreal, you only take this one to be more real because you're identified with it. you've forgotten that you aren't it. you're so invested in it, but now you should start questioning its validity.

3. now abt your family and friends. it'll be fine. they'll change accordingly

some reading

the past and the character

the past doesn't exist

allowing yourself to challenge concepts

indifference

tomorrow is just a thought. yesterday is a memory

[xxscarletxrosexx]

Addressing Watermarks on Official Merch Scans -- A Post Made to EDUCATE

I never thought this would need to be addressed, but I think to ignore this would do me injustice as someone who works in education. This message, at its core, is to educate, not attack anyone in particular.

I used to think how silly it was that people used watermarks on pictures and art, but after spending decades in multiple fandom groups, I learned that people are simply too lazy to find the source and credit accordingly and/or want the glory/validation that comes from claiming that particular art/picture as theirs.

I've had a picture stolen once, too. It was a picture of a mannequin that reminded me of Slender Man. I posted it on a public social media app just for laughs, and somehow, that picture ended up becoming a small meme. It WASN'T a huge meme, but it made its way to a niche of Slender Man memes. I haven't received credit for that picture and probably never will. The reason is that this picture was taken over a decade ago, so finding the source would be difficult for me to scroll through the app. Furthermore, I can't show proof that I have the original picture since it was from an old phone that I no longer owned. I had the picture backed up on an external hard drive, but it was deleted when the memory got wiped when I was dealing with a virus. Ultimately, I'm not here to air out my grievance for this picture, but I take it as a lesson to myself that I should be careful next time if I want to post a picture on the internet.

This now brings me to the present-day issue: why did I watermark my scans?

As you read from my previous experience, it's because people DON'T credit or share the source.

I am very much aware that this particular design of the Forgers is very rare to come by. The official art was posted by the official website, but it was never addressed again (I know because I am dying to have acrylic stands of this design). As of today, I tried to look for this specific design and the following images showed up when I spent the past 10 minutes scrolling:

If you were to click the link for the merch (middle image), you would find that the website is unavailable. So, yes, to find this design on a merch was INCREDIBLY lucky on my part. Now, I wasn't expecting to find this at Waku Waku Park, nor was it my mission to find this specific art during the duration of my trip. It just so happened to be at the shop. To my knowledge, other official SxF merch--other than the Waku Waku Park merch--supposedly changes. I compared my experience with two SxF moots who went in December (Ikebukuro/Tokyo location) and 1 week (Osaka location) before me, and they both don't recall finding this design during their visits to Waku Waku Park (I mean, justified because it's been ages ago). As a result, this makes this merch all the more difficult to find.

Technically, I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the merchandise when I was at the shop. I was approached by a store clerk after I had already completed taking pictures of every merch available at the shop. She was limited in her English but crossed her index fingers and told me: "Pictures prohibited." I have not, nor do I plan to, share merch pictures, hence why I edited to the clear file folders to show proof that I was there.

The reason why I am so hell-bent on having my watermark on MY PICTURES and MY SCANS is because of the amount of time, effort, and money I invested into getting it.

Just to give you guys an idea of how expensive it was:

$1,500 was spent on a 9-day round-trip ticket to Japan.

$180 was lost to an overnight night bus from Tokyo to Osaka that I didn't end up riding due to rushing and booking the wrong date. I was not allowed to cancel or refund.

$100 was spent on an airplane ticket from Tokyo to Osaka.

$90 was spent on a shinkansen (bullet train) from Kyoto to Tokyo (we took a fast metro ride from Osaka to Kyoto).

$100 was spent on a last-minute B&B in Osaka.

$50 was spent on Waku Waku Park tickets that came with merchandise (I paid for my friend's ticket as well as my own).

$12 (est.) was spent on purchasing this clear file folder.

Over $350 was spent on purchasing merch from Waku Waku Park alone.

$60 was invested in purchasing a scanner just to scan a high-quality image of this clear file for my friend, and anyone else who'd appreciate seeing this product.

To share how much time and effort it took to get to purchasing this:

My friend and I weren't able to book events for the trip despite purchasing our tickets 2 months in advance. Our jobs and schedules prevented us from meeting up and planning out places where we'd like to visit. As a result, many of our planned trips were booked days before we went, such was the case with Waku Waku Park. We literally bought the tickets the night before.

The flight, night bus, and shinkansen tickets from Tokyo to Osaka and from Kyoto to Tokyo were purchased the day before we bought the tickets, which was during our bus ride trip to Mount Fuji.

When purchasing tickets for Waku Waku Park, my SxF moots recommended I purchase online or at Lawson--I did the latter. For whatever reason, I just couldn't purchase the tickets online, so I went to Lawson and found a machine that sells general tickets to the public. I recall this experience being so frustrating because they did have an English translation option for the homepage ONLY. Once I clicked the platform that sold Waku Waku Park tickets, all text went back to Japanese. I couldn't read it, so I had to contact my SxF moot (who was fortunately still in Japan and went through this experience like me AND could read and speak in Japanese) explain to me what I was looking at. I also used Google Lens to help make sense of whatever I was reading. I probably spent over 10 minutes trying to figure that shit out until the shop clerk finally came over to see if he can help me complete the form and check out my purchase (poor kid didn't know English but we somehow managed).

When my friend and I arrived in Osaka, we had forgotten to book a B&B since we knew that there was a high likelihood that we'd stay overnight. I purchased a 1-day Osaka trip pass, assuming that we'd be able to go to every place offered on the list, but nope, my friend crashed after Waku Waku Park. As a result of booking so early in the morning, we were fortunate to have found a B&B that was ready by 1 PM (?) maybe 3 PM (?). I can't remember other than the fact that when I requested if we could come early, they told me we couldn't come until check-in time. So, we went to ATC Gallery (Waku Waku Park) with our luggages (fortunately, they were light but it was a nuisance to have carried it around). We were also fortunate that ATC Gallery, when arriving to the building via metro station, had a locker that could fit our luggage--so thank goodness we didn't have to carry it during the exhibit.

We learned that once you exit the exhibit--which means you exit the merch shop--you are NOT allowed to come back in. Even, when your companion was still inside, you couldn't go back in. My friend left the merch shop since there were no places for her to sit and wait for me. So she stepped out of the shop. Apparently, there are gates with workers preventing people from re-entering. And so, when I experienced problems with my card, I called my friend to have her lend me her credit card. That's when we experienced that problem. The officer was kind enough to allow my friend to hand me her card so that I could pay for my haul of merch. But imagine, if we both left the shop to go to a store to withdraw money? There was no Lawson store nearby so we'd have to take the metro and find one, buy a ticket, return to the venue, go through the exhibit AGAIN (I probably would have to repeat playing the minigames, collecting stamps, and having my photo taken out of courtesy rather than rushing through the exhibit), and then finally arrive at the merch shop. But considering the time we entered the park around 1:30 PM and spent 2 hours in the park, I believe that it would have ended with a very tight schedule (the park closes at 6:00 PM) and a very unhappy companion.

In conclusion, removing my watermarks means you (the watermark remover) discredit me and disrespect all of my time, effort, and money I invested just to get a high-quality scan of this clear file just for you to enjoy looking at and most likely saving it to your collection of SxF images. You are also a THIEF for not only stealing my scanned image and re-uploading my scan with a horrible cut and my watermarks removed with AI, but also for the fact that you DID NOT pay for a round-trip ticket to Japan, you DID NOT pay for your own ticket to Waku Waku Park, you DID NOT purchase this clear file yourself, and you DID NOT spend money on a scanner to get this high-quality image to post on the internet.

I know that this is MY SCANNED image of the official art because I can see ghost texts of my watermark between Loid and Yor and near Anya's finger and Bond's forehead. I can see the residual cut off of the weird light-blue scan found near Loid's head. The most obvious is that the red leaf between Yor and Loid was horribly "removed" by AI (dear, I use AI to edit out people from my photos, it doesn't take a trained and perfectionist eye to notice something looks fucked up).

Below is an example of me using AI, and this is not how it should look without people. There was a clear pathway behind the people but AI decided to cover it with grass. Keep in mind that to arrive to THIS AI edit, it took me over an hour to repeat the removal process since AI's edit is RANDOM every time. I am an extreme perfectionist, so I tend to waste hours on end to find AI edits that look convincing (I'm not gonna bother putting a watermark on this because my face is there).

Furthermore, as far as I'm aware (at this current time), I know that my scan is the only one that has resurfaced this image. The official merch image of this design is quite difficult to find and reference. I would've sourced it by now if I had already found it, but I've spent 6 hours writing this entire post as is and still couldn't find it.

The person who shared the removal of my watermark on Twitter/X was unaware of the importance for watermarking scans and had been cooperative by taking down her original post. I have provided a post to my scans on Twitter/X here, and a link to the original source found on my Ko-Fi shop. I currently have no beef with her, nor am I attacking her with this post. What she had presented to me was an opportunity to educate.

If you're looking for official merch that do not have watermarks slashed across their products, then your best bet is to find them from official merch websites and/or official merch images. Obviously, they want you to purchase their products. Second, they have the legal rights and trademark (TM) to flex that they own it, so I highly doubt anyone would go out of their way to edit an official work and claim it as their image.

My experience alone confirms that had I not put a watermark on my scan, I would have definitely gotten this scan stolen. As far as I'm aware, my scan is the ONLY ONE (at this current moment) that pops up in Google searches. It pops up via Tumblr from @yumeka-sxf Spy x Family miscellaneous collab scans - part 3 post.

I'm so grateful to have received advice from @yumeka-sxf because she encouraged me to protect my scans having experienced multiple thefts from her oldest scanned images in the past.

TLDR; Don't remove people's watermarks on scanned pictures (especially if they're put on official merch). We have the right to post watermarks on our pictures/scans because we spent ungodly time and effort to find them, spent money to purchase them, scanned/took high-quality pictures of them, and kindly shared our collection(s) FOR FREE for people to enjoy, share the experience, and/or inspire them to purchase one themselves. Unfortunately, the decision to put watermarks over purchased merch is because there are people who are willing to do whatever it takes to edit out credit and watermarks found in corners or in open spaces to claim ownership of the image. I have also seen merchants' product pictures being stolen by other sellers who just happen to have the same product (yes, I'm calling Ebay and Mercari out). That's why there are sellers who take pictures of their products next to their usernames.

If you have read everything until the very end, you have my gratitude. I hope that this post has been educational in helping everyone become aware that watermarks are used to credit people's time, effort, and money to share high-quality scans/pictures of official merch that they purchased. The reason you can see it is because of their efforts to share it.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Choice exploration + finished scenes💙

Hello and welcome new followers, here's an update on how things are going with the game! Firstly a big thank you to the sudden influx of support I got this week, I'm happy knowing people liked the little meme video I did! :,]

This post might be a little long since I had to rewrite a few things, I was trying to upload a picture of one of the new areas you can go in but I got an error and couldn't save what I wrote. :,S

Anywho, I mainly focused on quality of life changes and continued working with the one of the endings you can get at the start of the game.

I don't really know where to start but this ending took a lot longer than expected to really hit what I've been trying to go for. At first, it was going to have two different endings. I took out one of them because I didn't have much of a connection with it and I liked the idea of it being straightforward instead. When I went back over it, everything happened too quickly for my liking. To fix this I went back and added a few choices to at least give you an idea of what the area is like and how it effects the player(Y/N) while making sure the dialog transitioned correctly with what you see on the screen. It's nothing too wordy but I do like it a lot more than I did before. Even though this is still considered one ending there is a alternate version you can get depending on a certain choice. Towards the end I fixed up all the spelling errors I could find and happily enough, there wasn't many. For right now I'd say this ending is finished! Yay! x]

Here's one of my favorite CG's I drew for it:

I love how it turned out because I really want to do different angles and perspective through the terrain, I think this one is my favorite so far! :,,]

Here's a evening time version of it:

It's suppose to be raining in this image but I still need to practice getting the angle correct. :,,]

I'm also fixing/brainstorming up the second/third ending. This one will have two different areas you can navigate through to get an idea of where you are and a few hints of lore that will be referenced later on in the game. Those that have played the [Extended Demo] you probably know which ones I'm talking about. >;]

I already like the idea of them but for one of the paths, I didn't have enough time to branch it out and make backgrounds for it in the [Extended Demo] so here's a peek of a placeholder since I'm still sketching stuff out, nothing is finalized yet. :[]

Super close to the cabin section, yay! I actually miss writing/drawing out the segments in the cabin a whole bunch so I really can't wait to fix up that part once I'm done with the swamplands. :,,]

I said last week I'd post some of the new backgrounds/areas so here you go:

Kofi update:

I also had a small talk with my play testers and one of the things they brought up is that I should be promoting my ko-fi better so from now on I'll have little mini doodles doing so at the end of every game development post as a way to promote it! :] All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do here! I was able to use previous tips to get a new wrist support brace when I'm drawing so a very big thank you to everyone who gave a tip! :,,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

I enjoyed answering the asks I got recently this week! I'm trying to finish the rest when I can including the ones I remember that got deleted. There were some I genuinely couldn't answer because it would require me to mention major spoilers/the questions have spoilers in them. :,]

This post is getting really long now so that's all I have to discuss, thank you guys very much for all of the encouraging support this past week, I appreciate it a whole bunch! :,,]

[senashenta]

Horror High: Chapter Seven

Title: Horror High

Pairing: Destiel

Rating: Explicit (in other chapters)

Warnings: Sex, Violence

Summary: John Winchester plants his eldest son at Caspar High in Jacksonville because weird things have been happening there: people disappearing. People reappearing only dead and drained of all their bodily fluids. Cocoons. It’s up to Dean to figure out what’s stalking Caspar’s halls and deal with it accordingly; but then he meets the New Kid—newer than him, even, the New-New Kid—Castiel Novak, and all his plans get severely derailed. Now Dean has to juggle the supernatural case—a really hungry jorogumo—and also the fact that he’s very quickly falling in love, something that is absolutely forbidden by his dad.

Meanwhile Castiel, shoved into the third new school in a year because his adoptive father—Chuck Shurley’s—job has them moving around a lot, struggles to fit in at Caspar High, not only because he’s the New Kid but because he’s the weird New Kid. Dean seems like a saving grace, a harbor in a storm, someone who doesn’t judge him—that is until Cas finds out about Dean’s night job. Cas’s life just got a whole lot stranger—but that doesn’t stop him from falling for Dean, regardless.

Notes: I feel like at 40,000+ words I should have more feedback than I do and I'm not... sure... what I'm doing wrong. Because no one is telling me. Is it just because it's top!Dean and bottom!Cas? It it because I'm a new author to SPN fandom? Is the writing shit? I thought HH was pretty decent but now I'm beginning to wonder. Then again I think the fandom landscape has also changed a lot in the last couple of years since I was last really active. Maybe leaving kudos and comments is just a thing of the past? Who even knows. Hmm. idk idk idk.

Anyway, for those of you who ARE reading and enjoying HH, thanks and I hope you like this chapter, too! This chapter can be read HERE ON AO3 AS WELL. New chapter next Thursday/Friday as usual. <3

HORROR HIGH TUMBLR MASTER POST HERE.

HORROR HIGH Chapter Seven By Senashenta

Cas had assumed that things between him and Dean would… change, somehow, after Dean stayed overnight at his house. And they did, a little, just not in the Earth-shattering way he had privately feared they might.

Suddenly they were just… closer. There was more intimacy between them. Dean was even more attentive than he had been before. They both seemed to crave physical contact even more than they already had, even just the simple things, like brushing their hands together on the way past, or sitting close against each other’s sides at lunch.

And it was obvious to more than just them. Sam noticed, certainly, and made sarcastic comments whenever the three of them were together, not that that was to be unexpected.

And even Charlie—

“Oh my God, I just figured it out!”

Cas had been staring off into space, thoughts on Dean as per usual, when Charlie’s voice jolted him back to reality. He blinked and looked at her. She was twisted around in her seat, the same as always, her elbow on Cas’s desk and her chin propped in her hand, but this time she also had a mischievous grin on her face. That was never a good sign.

“Uh. What did you figure out, Charlie?” He questioned almost hesitantly.

“What’s different about you!” Charlie chirped, and then; “you totally slept with him, didn’t you?”

“What.” Cas didn’t deny it immediately, which was probably a mistake on his part. Instead, he flushed red and frowned in her direction. “Charlie!”

The redhead gasped and grinned, “oh my God, you actually did!” She turned around in her seat even more to cross her arms over Cas’s desk and looked at him expectantly, “tell me everything.”

And, granted, Charlie was his best friend. And he might have been willing to actually tell her—if they hadn’t been in the middle of class. So instead, Cas gave her a look and told her flatly, “no. We’re in class, Charlie.”

“Well, that’s…” Charlie began, then trailed off and looked around at all the other students before conceding, “right, I take your point.” She patted one hand against his desk, “I am going to text you tonight and you are going to answer, okay?”

Cas couldn’t really argue with that too much, because for Charlie this was being exceedingly reasonable. He loved Charlie, he really did, but sometimes she didn’t have a lick of common sense in her entire body. At least this time she was willing to let it go for the time being—and Cas was much more willing to share some of the details she craved over a private chat later.

Why she wanted to know about his sex life in the first place was beyond him.

“Can you at least tell me if things are good?” Charlie asked after a brief pause. She offered him a real, genuine smile this time, the mischievousness gone, “it seems like they’re good.”

This time Cas had to smile in return, small and smitten and a little embarrassed, “they’re good.” He promised. “Really good.”

Charlie reached over to squeeze his hand, a genuine, friendly gesture. “I’m happy for you, Cas.”

“Mm,” Cas agreed, “I am too.” For once.

-- --

[Okay, spill the deets, Cas.]

Cas checked his phone when it buzzed just after eight-thirty that night, while he was working on homework in his bedroom—and sighed. He’d almost forgotten about Charlie’s promise to text him. And his not-quite promise to reply. But clearly Charlie hadn’t forgotten, obviously. It was probably a miracle she had waited until this late to message him, now that he thought about it.

He tapped his pen against his notebook absently for a moment before picking up his phone to text back:

[Why do you even want to know?]

Honestly, Charlie was a lesbian and very out, and he didn’t understand why she would be interested in knowing about his sex life, aside from the fact that she sometimes had a preoccupation with the mystery of Dean Winchester. He glanced down when his phone binged again:

[Because you’re my friend I want to know he didn’t do anything to hurt you, even accidentally.]

That made Cas pause—and he smiled down at his phone screen fondly:

[Charlie. I told you things were good, didn’t I?]

Honestly, if she was just worried about him, she could have just said so. But it was… nice. To know that she cared that much. He hadn’t had many people in his life that had cared for him like that. She really was his best friend, wasn’t she? Aside from Dean, of course.

[I know you said that, but honestly you are so in love with him that I don’t even know what to believe anymore.] Charlie finally replied, after a brief pause.

Cas hesitated. Started to type “I’m not—” but knew that Charlie would see though that, even over text. So instead, he ignored that part entirely:

[He didn’t hurt me. I promise. He was gentle. It was good, Charlie. SO good. BOTH times.]

He wasn’t sure if Charlie would be smiling over that or gagging a little, but that was the jist of it, without getting into any of the dirty details, which he was absolutely sure Charlie had no real interest in. When Charlie came back with a response it was:

[Dude, how did you even MANAGE this? Is your Dad deaf or something?]

Cas muffled a little laugh:

[He was out of town. Dean stayed the night while he was gone.]

There was a long pause after that, and Cas finally went back to his homework while he waited, scribbling out a few more answers—then crossing out one to redo it. When his phone pinged again, he glanced at it:

[Oooooh, yes, that makes more sense. But you’re sure you’re okay? I mean, even emotionally? Nothing you need to talk about? It’s a big thing. I remember the first time I slept with my first girlfriend, it was INTENSE.]

Cas sat back in his seat to type out his reply:

[It was intense, yes. And awkward sometimes. But it was good. And I promise I’m fine. Things with me and Dean are… they’re really, really good. I don’t regret anything.]

And wasn’t that the important thing? Spending the night together hadn’t made things awkward or weird between them, it had brought them closer together. How could he possibly regret it when that was the end result?

Charlie’s next text echoed his thoughts: [That’s the important part. You’re happy, no regrets. Then I’m happy for you. Also, it means I don’t have to kick Dean Winchester’s ass for you, so there’s that.]

Cas chuckled at the very idea of petite Charlie attempting to kick Dean’s ass: [goodnight, Charlie.]

[Night, Cas.]

-- --

Caspar High and Bedwin Junior High were having a P.A. day on the same day, probably because they were associated, which meant no classes on Friday, which meant they could spend the day however they wanted to. This, of course, meant that Cas would be joining the Winchester brothers in another hours-long research session—only this time not at the motel they had been living out of for weeks.

Instead, he invited them to his house, which he judged to be much more comfortable. (This was mostly for Sam’s benefit, the poor kid spent ninety percent of his life cooped up in that dingy motel while he wasn’t in school; at least Dean had a couple of other destinations he could get away to.)

“I can’t believe you made me bring Sam.” Dean complained as soon as Cas opened the door upon their arrival, around ten in the morning.

Sam ignored him and added his own, “hi, Cas.”

Cas also ignored him. “Hi, Sam.” Standing aside, he let them come in and kick off their shoes, then added, “you can make yourselves at home. If you’re hungry or thirsty just come down and get something from the kitchen. Sam, I’ll show you where the bathroom is. My Father is home today, but he’s working on manuscripts in his study, so as long as we’re not too loud we shouldn’t bother him.” He shrugged and closed the door behind them. “Sam, my room is at the top of the stairs on the left. You can go on up.”

Sam shrugged. He had a laptop bag slung over his shoulder. “What’s the wifi password?”

“’Multiverse216’.” Cas told him, and then took a brief moment to be grateful when Sam didn’t question it. Explaining his father’s frankly unerring belief in the multiverse theory would have been embarrassing. Once Sam was off, headed for his bedroom, Cas turned his attention to Dean, who was still looking grumpy, arms full of heavy-looking books. Sighing, Cas reached to take a few of them with a smile. “What’s wrong? You’re pouting.”

“I am not.” Dean absolutely pouted, shifting the remaining books to one arm, then; “we definitely can’t make out with Sam around, can we?”

“Probably not,” Cas agreed, turning to head upstairs, “but it’s not fair on him to make him hide away in the motel all the time while you come over here, and we go out places and everything. Hence me inviting him. Besides, we’re supposed to be doing research, which means no making out anyway.”

Dean grumbled something like ‘you’re lucky you’re so cute’ under his breath, making Cas laugh as they climbed the stairs.

When they got to his room, Sam had already taken over the floor at the foot of the bed, his laptop out and notebooks and papers spread everywhere. Cas took a moment to point out to the door to the bathroom to him, at the same time as Dean made a beeline for the bed and flopped onto it with his books, then scooted around to pat the spot beside him with a hopeful look.

“Nice try.” Cas set the rest of the books down beside Dean, who proceeded to give him a dirty look, and then moved over to his desk where his own laptop was set up, digging out a notebook and pen while he powered it up.

“Thank God at least one of you has some common sense.” Sam commented without looking up.

“I try.” Cas agreed.

“I hate you both.” Dean groused.

At that point they all got down to work, Cas and Sam doing Internet searches while Dean poured through the numerous books they had brought along. There was general companionable silence, with the exception of once or twice when one of them thought they had a lead and it turned out to be nothing in the end. In those cases, muttered cursing happened.

Cas was mildly disturbed by the number of Aragog or Shelob fansites that kept popping up—and more than mildly disturbed by the Aragog/Shelob fanfiction that followed. He was very quick to click away from those types of things when they came up in his searches, but he was getting enough of it that he began to develop the opinion that some people had too much time on their hands.

Around twelve thirty, they took a break for lunch and Dean made the executive decision that they were ordering pizza. Cas had learned last time that Dean’s version of pizza was all meat and contained no vegetable toppings of any kind, and this pie followed in its’ predecessor’s footsteps: pepperoni, sausage, bacon, and extra cheese. Sam was obviously used to it because he didn’t question the order at all. Cas just figured pizza was pizza and it was all good. He took a slice in to his father, who was still typing away at his computer. Chuck said a quick thanks and immediately got right back to work.

They ate standing around the kitchen island, and one extra large pizza didn’t last long as they were all growing teens. Besides that, Dean could put away half of one himself, easy. Once they were done, they tidied up their mess (pizza box, soda cans) and headed back upstairs to continue their research.

This time Dean managed to Puppy Eye Cas into joining him on the bed. He unplugged his laptop and took it with him, laying on his stomach beside his boyfriend and staunchly ignoring when Dean leaned over and dropped a kiss against his neck. He was not going to start a full-on make-out session with Sam in the room. That was just rude. Dean seemed to get the hint after a minute or two and went back to his books with a disappointed sigh.

“Thank you for being so reasonable, Cas.” Sam piped up from the floor.

“You’re welcome, Sam.” Cas replied easily.

“I’m right here, you know.” Dean grumbled.

That was the end of it for then and they all went back to work, mostly quiet for the next hour of so until Sam suddenly hit on something, frowned to himself, and followed a series of links to a particular article about—“jorogumo!” He announced excitedly, pushing himself up and peering over the edge of the bed at Dean and Cas, “I think I might actually have something, here!”

“Thank God,” Dean slammed the book he was looking through closed and waved a hand toward Sam, “lay it on me, Sammy.”

“Okay, so,” Sam turned back to his computer, “a jorogumo is a type of yokai, or demon, a creature from Japanese folklore. The kanji used to write it literally translates to ‘spider woman.’ It’s half-spider, half-woman, and preys exclusively on men. In some myths it can shapeshift into a beautiful woman to lure in its’ prey, but that part changes depending on who you ask. Uh… so they originate from Japan, like I said, but they’ve kind of slowly spread out over the world, all different subspecies.” He poked his head up to look at Dean and Cas again; “they inject their victims with digestive juices and then drink the liquified insides, like spiders. And that would explain the cocoons and the exoskeleton!”

“And the fact that the victims have all been male. Sounds like our monster,” Dean agreed, “how do you kill them?”

“Fire!” Sam grinned, “just fire, that’s easy, right?”

“Depends.” Dean hedged, “are we talking Molotov cocktails?”

Cas blinked at that and turned back to his computer, typing something in and then scrolling for a minute while the Winchesters discussed the merits of Molotov cocktails and the fact that their dad wasn’t around to buy the liquor for them this time, so Dean would have to use one of his fake IDs and pray the people at the store believed him.

“Will this work?” Cas interrupted finally and turned the laptop for Dean to see the screen.

The older boy blinked, then squinted—and finally grinned. “Yeah. That’ll work, Cas.” Leaning over, he kissed Cas hard, then pulled back, still grinning, to add, “that’ll definitely work!”

-- --

It turned out that building a miniature homemade flamethrower was almost disturbingly easy. And cheap. And at no point required a fake ID. All they needed was a small fire extinguisher, a bicycle pump, a drill, a hacksaw, a vice grip, a few other small odds-and-ends and about a gallon of lighter fluid. All of this could be purchased from local hardware stores (on Dean’s fake credit card) for less than a couple hundred bucks.

They were going to make three of them.

Not one for each of them, of course, Dean was going to be doing all the heavy lifting when it came to Monster Killing Time, but because each one was good for maybe four blasts at best (probably more like two or three) and they wanted to be prepared. In later years the Winchesters would improve on the mini-flamethrower design, but for now this was what they had. It was also why Dean insisted on using his fake ID and buying liquor anyway—to use just in case the flamethrowers failed him, since all the lore they could find on jorogumos said fire and nothing but fire.

“What’s left at this store?” Dean asked. He was leaning on the mostly full shopping cart as they walked the aisles.

“Um…” Cas glanced down at the list in his hand. “Lamp wicks and hose clamps.”

“Right.”

The list of things they needed to buy had been divided into two and they had gone to two different stores just in case a clerk got suspicious. They were already getting odd looks because they were even there—midday on a Friday—and not in school, though no one could know they were in the middle of a P.A. Day, of course. Still, it was important to mitigate the strangeness of their purchases, just in case.

“Got the lamp wicks!” Sam came around the corner with the box of wicks in his hand and dropped it into the cart. Dean didn’t even stop moving. “Couldn’t find the hose clamps. It’s possible they don’t stock them. We may have to hit another store.”

“Or go back to the last one again.” Dean shrugged.

Probably unadvisable. They’d bought two fire extinguishers and a hacksaw at the last store. Going back again would likely garner attention they didn’t want.

“Google says there are over thirty hardware stores in Jacksonville,” Cas put in his two cents helpfully, “I’m sure we can find another one.” A pause then; “which has hose clamps, hopefully.”

“Why do we need hose clamps, again?”

“We just do, Dean.” Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed hold of the front of the cart to halt it in its’ tracks, forcing Dean to stop walking as well. “Why don’t we just ask someone who works here about the hose clamps?”

That… was probably a good idea. Cas blinked and wandered off to find a sales associate without another word.

It turned out the hose clamps were down Aisle Twelve and they had walked past them at least twice already in their wandering the store. A few minutes after Cas left, he came back with three of the highly sought-after part and dropped them into the shopping cart with a little, pleased smile. “That’s it, right?”

When they got to the register and put everything up on the cash belt the man behind the counter took a quick look over the contents of their purchase and asked cheerfully, “you guys building a flamethrower? I saw it on YouTube! You’re missing a few things, though.”

“Flamethrower? Nooooo, absolutely not!” Dean laughed nervously at the same time as Cas blurted out “it’s for science class!”

Sam facepalmed and pushed in front of them to address the cashier: “just double bag it, please, we’re walking.”

-- --

Actually making the flamethrowers was a lot more complicated than buying the parts had been, but Dean and Sam seemed to be on it. Cas felt rather useless, just sitting around watching, but he really had no idea what he was doing, while they did.

So, once they got back to the motel the brothers got to work and over the course of the afternoon, they built three of the deceptively innocent looking little devices. They couldn’t really test them out properly, as they had nowhere to test them, and they also didn’t want to waste the fuel, so they just had to hope they worked when the time came.

Dean also left for a little while and came back with a bag full of bottles of liquor—apparently, they had accepted his fake ID after all. Those were lined up along the counter in the kitchenette to be turned into Molotov cocktails closer to the time they would be needed.

It was decided that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, Dean would head into the monster’s nest in two days, on Sunday night, when there wouldn’t be anyone else around to get in the way—or get hurt.

Cas didn’t know how to feel at that moment except nervous, and it showed. Once they were done their preparation—or as close to done as they could get—Dean tugged him over to his bed to lay down, and the two of them just cuddled up together, not saying a word, for the rest of the time he was there.

This time Sam didn’t even make any sarcastic comments.

When he was leaving to go home, around dinner time, Cas whispered a quiet, “please be careful.”

Dean leaned their foreheads together and closed his eyes, promising, “I will.”

-- --

All of Saturday, Cas worried. He cleaned his room to distract himself. When that didn’t work, he texted Charlie for a while. Then he broke down and called Dean, just to talk to him, to hear his voice. They talked about everything and nothing—and it helped, at least a little. But he couldn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning and eventually just giving up trying.

Sunday was much the same, but this time he didn’t call Dean. Dean needed to focus, he didn’t need his fretting boyfriend distracting him, throwing him off his game. He barely ate any of his dinner and his father asked if he was feeling alright; he replied that he thought he might be coming down with something.

At ten o’clock at night, he got one text from Sam:

[He’s leaving in an hour. Everything will be fine.]

And Cas stared at it for the longest time before shoving his phone in his pocket and heading out the door.

-- --

When Dean arrived at Caspar High at almost midnight, he was shocked to find Cas standing out front, waiting for him. A deep frown crossed his face, and he all but stomped over, hauling the duffle bag with the flamethrowers and Molotov cocktails in it along the way. Cas at least had the presence of mind to look guilty when he saw Dean coming—his boyfriend was going to be angry, and he knew it.

“What the hell, Cas?!”

“Dean, I know, I just—”

“You can’t be here!” The only reason Dean wasn’t shouting was because he didn’t want to draw attention to them. As it was his voice came out a harsh, growled whisper. “Go! Home!”

But Cas, maybe surprisingly, maybe not so surprisingly, dug his heels in. He crossed his arms. “No! You need someone to be here for you! What if something goes wrong? You expect me to just sit at home while you—”

“THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECT.” Dean hissed, glaring now, “this is my job, Cas! You’re a civilian, you need to go home! Right now!”

Cas glared right back, a deep frown on his face, and shook his head. “I’m staying, Dean! What if you get hurt? You’ll need someone to get you back to the motel—or to the hospital! This whole solo Hunt thing is risky and stupid, and I can’t just—” Breaking off, he made a frustrated noise and grabbed at the front of Dean’s shirt, yanking him forward and leaning to kiss him harshly. “Don’t be stupid about this, let me stay.”

Dean continued glaring at him for another long moment before he made a little annoyed sound, green eyes skimming to the side and then returning to Cas’s, holding there intensely. “Don’t you dare come inside, Cas. You stay out here, no matter what happens.”

Well… that wasn’t really what he had intended, but Cas figured it was the best he was going to get. He knew there was no way Dean would let him go into the school with him—Dean cared about him too much to allow that. Cas was still frowning, but finally nodded. “Okay.”

Dean huffed a frustrated noise and crouched down, rummaging through the duffle bag before pulling out two of the Molotov cocktails and a lighter. When he stood again, he held them out for Cas to take. “Here. Just in case. You know what to do with them?”

Cas took the bottles and the lighter, tucking the lighter into his pocket so he wouldn’t lose it. “It’s pretty self-explanatory, so yes.”

Really, what Dean wanted to do was leave one of the flamethrowers—but he couldn’t risk it. They each only held a couple of blasts worth of fuel. He would need them. Besides which, he didn’t even know for sure that they would work, yet. He didn’t want to leave Cas with a possibly defunct weapon in case something did happen.

“Damnit, Cas.” Grabbing at the side of Cas’s neck, he pulled the other boy in for another harsh kiss, then pressed their foreheads together and muttered, “this is really, really Goddamn stupid.”

“I know.” Cas met his gaze firmly. “But I’m staying.”

It seemed to be decided. At least Cas wasn’t insisting on coming inside with him, Dean could take comfort in that much. For now, he just released the younger boy and hefted the duffle bag up to head for the school doors, already digging out his lockpick kit.

Behind him he could hear Cas say softly, “be safe,” and he had to resist the urge to turn around and pull Cas into his arms, hold him forever and keep him protected from the evils of the world. Instead, he unlocked the door and slipped into the building, alone.

Coming from the front entrance it was a much straighter shot to the tech hall and the basement, and Dean made it there without even hearing the footsteps of the guard, then picked the basement door lock again and stepped inside. The door swung shut behind him with an ominous click.

Dean flicked on his flashlight and peered down the stairs. Something in the basement rustled, stirring.

You’re home tonight, then. Good. A frown and Dean shoved any lingering thoughts of Cas out of his mind, forcing himself to focus. He couldn’t afford to be distracted tonight. He had to be the Hunter. The blunt instrument. The man his dad had trusted this Hunt to. Nothing more, nothing less.

He made his way down the stairs with determination in his steps. At the bottom he stopped, shining his flashlight around… and then paused when something above him shifted, clicking and chittering softly. Dean froze for a split second before beaming the flashlight upward and—

“Oh shit.”

Dangling upside-down from the ceiling on a thin line of spider thread was the jorogumo; it had a human head, arms and torso, female attributes and long, dark hair. But where the human torso ended, about at the hips, it was connected to a massive spider body, eight long legs and—a red hourglass figure on the mostly black abdomen.

Great, a black widow jorogumo. It just kept getting better.

The creature slowly spun its’ way down to the ground, flipping over and landing on it’s almost delicate-looking spider limbs. It cocked its’ head to the side and regarded Dean with eight large, unsettling round eyes, its’ hands carding through its’ long hair restlessly. Dean was already pulling out the first flamethrower, his movements slow and careful.

When he lit the lamp wick, though, the jorogumo took one look at the fire and sprung to life with an animalistic screech. The next thing Dean knew the thing was rushing at him and he fell back a step, bringing the flamethrower up and firing off the first blast.

The jorogumo dodged to the side, but the fire scorched a section of the nest—and that just pissed it off even more. Dean fired off another blast as the creature charged him again, then went for a third—but the tank came up dry. He snapped a curse and pitched the now-empty flamethrower away, already scrambling to pull out and light the second one.

This wasn’t going very well so far.

With the second flamethrower lit, he dodged to the left when the jorogumo lashed out at him, then fired at it again—and this time managed to clip one of its’ legs. The thing screamed and lashed out, knocking the flamethrower from his grasp and sending him flying into the wall. He crashed into the brick hard and landed on the ground harder.

Gasping for air, Dean pushed up and rolled over just in time for the creature to pounce at him and—

White, powdery smoke suddenly filled the room, along with a loud hissing noise, and the jorogumo screeched again, arms and legs flailing in the cloud of dust. Dean scrambled up just in time for Cas’s voice to call out, “get up, Dean! We’ve got to get out of here!”

“CAS!” Dean whirled to face the stairs, where Cas was standing, holding a fire extinguisher in a white-knuckled grip. “Goddamnit!”

“You can’t fight it in here! Grab the bag and lets’ go!” Cas insisted, tossing the expended fire extinguisher to the ground. He turned and started up the stairs without even waiting to see if Dean was following him—just assumed he was. Dean was going to kill him. But later. For now, he just snatched up the duffle bag and dashed up the steps after the other boy.

The two of them bolted down the hall toward the exit with the jorogumo right on their heels the entire way, and Cas burst out into the night to head straight for the two Molotov cocktails that were sitting where he had left them, one hand grabbing for the lighter in his pocket the entire way.

Dean, meanwhile, got out into the middle of the concrete lobby and skidded to a stop, dropping the bag in his hand and fumbling for the third and final flamethrower. A minute later the jorogumo exploded out the front doors, shattering glass everywhere, and Dean lit it up.

This time the fire stuck, and the monster whirled around, trying to staunch the flames while Dean set up for another blast. Cas, meanwhile, had lit the rag in one of the Molotov cocktails, and moved forward, raising his arm to throw it—

The jorogumo was faster than either of them. It whipped in a circle, legs flailing, sending Dean flying once more, claws cutting into his chest slightly in the process—and Cas managed to pitch the bottle he was holding just before the creature’s leg collided with him, its’ claws raking his flesh and sending him crashing into one of the retaining walls with a shout.

When Dean clambered to his feet, it was to see that Cas’s Molotov cocktail had hit its’ mark and the jorogumo was well and truly burning now, screeching and screaming and flailing around until it collapsed in a still-burning heap. Job done, right?

Except then he looked around for Cas, only to spot the other teen across the entryway, slumped on his side, eyes closed and not moving. Dean’s heart practically jumped into his throat, and he scrambled over to his boyfriend, dropping down next to him and hurriedly checking him over, his own breath coming fast, almost panicky.

Cas was bleeding heavily from wounds that Dean couldn’t really see in the darkness of after midnight, and he seemed to be swimming in-and-out of consciousness. Dean felt around his head urgently and made a soft sound in his throat when he found a swelling lump near the back of Cas’s skull. He had obviously hit his head when he went down. That wasn’t good, either.

Still breathing hard, Dean eased back a little, stood, then carefully hauled Cas to his feet. Cas didn’t fight it, but he went along about as well as a limp noodle, head lolling slightly.

Dean left everything else behind and headed for the motel as fast as he possibly could, half-carrying Cas the entire way.

-- --

“Sammy!”

Dean pounded on the motel door impatiently, waiting for Sam to check the peep hole before opening it; the whole time Cas was half-draped across him, still fading in-and-out of consciousness, blood slowly soaking through the front of his torn shirt and flecking onto the concrete floor beneath them.

“SAMMY, OPEN THE DOOR!” He pounded on the door again, and this time was rewarded by the sound of Sam scrabbling with the chain lock and deadbolt—and finally the door yanked open. Dean shoved past his brother, hauling Cas into the motel room and leaving Sam to shut and re-lock the door behind them.

“You brought CAS?!” Sam demanded.

“Not on purpose.” Dean grunted, then; “get the first-aid kit.”

Sam practically dove under his bed for the duffle bag that served as their first-aid kit while Dean gingerly set Cas down on the other one. Cas immediately teetered sideways, falling over with a groan. Dean tried to catch him but failed, and instead was left to swing the other boy’s legs up onto the mattress and rearrange him so he could be worked on.

“Sam!”

“Here!” Sam dropped the first-aid bag on the floor next to the bed Cas was on and then stepped back. “What happened?”

Dean grabbed where Cas’s shirt was already torn and pulled, ripping it wide open. Two long, deep gashes ran from the front of Cas’s ribcage on his left side all the way around to his back. The bleeding had slowed significantly, but they were still oozing, and dark black-and-purple bruising was already rising to the surface of Cas’s skin all over his torso.

“Goddamned jorogumo!” Dean snapped, angry with the monster and with himself and with Cas and with everything right then. He gingerly felt along the edges of the deeper of the two gashes, dismayed to find them ragged and torn rather than smoothly cut. That meant they wouldn’t be able to stitch them up. “He came in after me! He wasn’t even supposed to be there, but he was, so I made him promise to stay outside and the asshole came in after me!”

Sam was already yanking gauze and bandages out of the first-aid kit, along with the tube of antibiotic ointment that had been a literal lifesaver on more than one occasion. He elbowed Dean out of the way and got to work on Cas’s wounds, smearing the antibiotics in every inch of the cuts and then packing them before pressing bandages down and wrapping everything up in gauze.

It didn’t really take that long. Even at just thirteen years old, Sam was proficient when it came to first-aid. He’d been patching up Dean and their dad for almost as long as he could remember.

When Sam finally sat back, bloody almost up to his elbows and blood smeared all across his shirt, Cas looked… well. Not good, but better. “We should get that shirt off him properly. Get a cloth and clean him up.”

“He hit his head,” Dean muttered, almost to himself, “he hit his head hard.”

Sam leaned up and pried one of Cas’s eyelids open, peering into his eye, then moved to the other one and did the same. “His pupils look okay. Probably just a concussion. He’ll have a headache when he wakes up, that’s for sure.”

“But he’ll be okay?”

“I’m not a doctor.” Sam reminded his brother, a sharp edge to his voice, “he really should go to a hospital.”

Dean made a slightly hysterical noise and gestured harshly toward Cas. What was he supposed to do, dump the other boy outside the ER and run? He had no way of explaining what happened to him, where his injuries came from, and no real adult to help him bullshit his way out of it, either. He may have been eighteen now, but really, he was still a kid. Despite the tremendous amount of shit he would be in (for various reasons), he honestly wished his dad was there right then. He would know what to do.

“I know, I’m just saying.” Sam shook his head. He looked at his hands, then sighed and just wiped the worst of the blood off on his already ruined shirt. Glancing at Dean, he looked him over for a second and then added; “dude, you need to sit down before you fall down. Your adrenaline is about to crash hard.”

Ignoring his brother’s advice entirely, as well as the minute shaking in his hands, Dean instead stripped out of his jacket, dumping it out of the way. It would need to be dry-cleaned to get rid of all the blood. His shirt underneath wasn’t in much better condition. Dean pulled that off as well, revealing a couple of small gashes that marred his own chest, then dug through the first-aid kit for a pair of scissors while Sam went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth.

The next little while was spent cutting Cas out of what was left of his t-shirt and gently wiping away as much of the blood as possible, cleaning him up. By the time they were done, Dean was ready to drop. He sat on the edge of the bed with his arms braced against the mattress to help keep himself upright and took a few breaths—until Sam’s hand shoved into his view, holding a power bar.

“Eat this.” The younger Winchester ordered. He was still holding the bloody cloth in his other hand. “I’m going to have a shower. Cas’ll be out for a while. You should lay down.” And then an eyeroll and he cut Dean off before he could protest; “you can lay down with him, if it makes you feel better.”

Dean considered protesting anyway, but in the end, he just took the power bar, ripped it open and took a bite, then muttered around it as he chewed, “thanks, Sammy.”

Sam gave him an encouraging half-smile. “He’ll be okay.” Then disappeared into the bathroom to wash the gore away.

To his credit, Dean not only finished the power bar, he also had the presence of mind to pull a clean shirt on before he climbed into the bed with Cas, settling next to the younger boy, close against his side and resting a hand carefully against his sternum just so he could feel him breathing in and out. So he could feel that he was still alive.

But it didn’t take much of being laid-out like that for the last of his adrenaline to give way and abandon him entirely—and by the time Sam emerged from the bathroom, Dean had passed out cold. Sam huffed a little sigh and tossed a blanket over both of them before going to put on a pot of coffee. Someone needed to stay awake, and it looked like it was going to have to be him.

-- --

When Dean eventually woke up, nearly three hours later, it was with a jerk so sharp he accidentally jostled Cas as well. The hand resting by Cas’s chest clenched there, then smoothed out again, and when he felt that Cas was still breathing, he gave a little relieved sigh and pressed his forehead against the edge of the other teen’s shoulder.

“He didn’t die while you were passed out.” Sam observed from where he was seated, at the little kitchenette table, on his umpteenth cup of coffee. “I’ve been keeping an eye on him.”

Dean nodded, hair mussing against Cas’s shoulder. “Good… good.”

“We should try to wake him up, soon. We need to get him back home before morning.”

“I’ll—just a minute, Sammy.” A slightly shaky breath while Dean continued to just feel Cas breathing, and then he carefully pushed himself up and reached to cup the side of Cas’s face with a hand that still had smears of blood on it, patting his cheek gently as he peered down at him. “Cas? C’mon, Cas… time to get up. Hey.”

It took a couple of minutes of gentle coaxing, but eventually Cas began to come around, eyes slowly fluttering open and mouth working, obviously confused—and in pain. He grimaced almost immediately, and Dean made a soft sympathetic sound.

“You with me?” He asked quietly, hand still carefully stroking the other boy’s cheek, “Cas, you need to wake up. We have to get you home before your Dad figures out you’re gone.”

“’M here,” Cas groaned, and tried to sit up, only to yelp out a cry and fall onto his back again. Dean’s hands hovered worriedly before pressing against his chest to carefully hold him down. “Shit. Shit, Sam, I don’t think this is going to work—”

“Mm-mm.” Cas protested weakly and brought an arm up to take hold of one of Dean’s wrists. “Don’t want to get you in trouble. Just—help me sit up.” Then, after a brief pause, “I don’t think—don’t think I can walk home, though…” The walk home all the way from the motel seemed more than a little daunting at the moment. He would likely pass out if he tried it.

“We’ll call a cab.” Sam assured him, leaving his place at the table and heading over to help Dean get Cas to his feet.

And it was quite a feat; first they had to get him sitting up, and that was probably the hardest part. Between the two of them they struggled but managed it, and then, sitting with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed, Cas had to stop and just breathe through the pain that was radiating through his entire torso.

“Do we have anything we can give him for the pain?” Dean asked, one arm around Cas to help hold him up.

Sam reluctantly shook his head. “No, I think Dad has all the painkillers. We could try ripping off a pharmacy…?”

But Cas made another protesting noise. “Don’t need to do that.” He assured them, trying to look like he didn’t feel on the verge of death and failing miserably. “You could get caught. I have aspirin at home. I’ll be… I’ll be fine. Promise.”

“Cas…”

Cas shook his head and leaned into Dean’s side, already exhausted. “I swear. I’ll be okay.”

“We have antibiotics, though.” Sam got down to dig through the first-aid kit again, coming up with a bottle of antibiotics. “You never know, right? Who knows what you might catch from a jorogumo… especially with wounds as bad as yours.” He held them out for Cas to take, “no arguing.”

Cas actually agreed with everything Sam had just said, so he just took the bottle without complaints, then pushed himself away from Dean again and braced for the attempt to stand. “I need a shirt.” To cover up the bandages if nothing else.

That was easy. Sam went to the dresser and pulled out one of Dean’s band tees, bringing it over so Dean could help Cas get into it. Once he was (somewhat) properly dressed again, Cas had to take another break just to breathe, with Dean rubbing his arm worriedly the entire time. The blatant concern that Dean was showing was a bit of a mild shock to Sam, though he wasn’t letting it show. He’d never seen his brother act this way before.

After another long pause, Cas finally took a bit of a breath and then pushed off the mattress. Dean yelped out a surprised noise and scrambled to help him, making sure it was more of a stand and less of a fall. Cas managed to stand and stay on his feet, wobbling just a little.

“My head is killing me. How much blood did I lose?”

“Not all of it.” Dean hedged, not quite an answer; “but you hit your head pretty hard. It’s not surprising it hurts.”

“Nn.” Cas just grunted softly and leaned into him a little. “Let’s just get me home so I can go to bed.”

It probably wasn’t a good idea for him to sleep on the heels of an obvious concussion, but he couldn’t tell his father why he was about to be bed-bound, never mind ask him to make sure he stayed awake. But besides that, he was exhausted. He just wanted to go to bed, any bed, pass back out and sleep for a week straight, concussion be damned.

Sam called a taxi, and it thankfully got there in what had to be record time. Dean helped Cas get out the door to wait and into the car when it arrived—then climbed in beside him without a word, leaving Sam alone in the motel room once more.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” Cas had one arm wrapped around himself, holding his ribs securely. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt—couldn’t. It would hurt too much every time the car jolted. “You could’ve stayed with Sam.”

“Shut up you idiot, of course I had to come with you.” Dean grumbled, one hand resting on Cas’s leg, gripping there firmly, grounding for the both of them. “Besides, I have to pay for the cab, right?”

He had a point. Cas conceded this one and fell silent, leaning back and letting his head fall back with a wince when the cab hit a bump in the road. Dean just squeezed his leg a little tighter, gritting his teeth because seeing Cas in so much pain was—it was intolerable. He hated it with every fiber of his being.

The ride to Cas’s house was short but seemed to take forever. When the driver dropped them off, Dean paid with his fake credit card and then helped Cas out of the car and up the front steps of the house. Cas fumbled to get his key out of his jeans pocket and opened the door, and the two of them went inside and up to Cas’s bedroom as quietly as possible.

Once they were in the room with the door firmly closed behind them, Dean set about getting Cas out of his jeans—and then into the bed. He could sleep in his boxers and the borrowed t-shirt.

It took some shuffling and adjusting, rearranging of pillows, to get Cas comfortable, but eventually they managed it, at which point Cas weakly asked if Dean could stay, just for a little while. And as much as he wanted to, Dean had to say no. It was already nearly five a.m. and he still had to walk back to the motel. But on top of that, he couldn’t be caught there in the morning when Chuck woke up.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could,” Dean stroked through Cas’s hair gently, “where’s the aspirin?”

“Bedside drawer.” Cas mumbled. He was already starting to doze off.

Dean quickly dug the painkillers out of the nightstand and tipped a couple into his palm, then replaced the bottle and returned his attention to Cas. “Hey. Hey, take these before you fall asleep.”

Another sleepy mumble, but Cas opened his mouth and let Dean tip the pills in. He swallowed them dry and then offered a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Dean leaned over to press a kiss into Cas’s hair and then moved away, standing. “I’ll come by tomorrow. Tell your Dad you’re sick or something. Get some sleep.”

Cas uttered a garbled agreement, already falling asleep.

Dean took off, leaving Cas to rest.

[trash-gobby]

✨🦇 Trash Gobby Intro 2.0 🦇✨

AO3: severenvansickle

Ways of Supporting me

Ko-Fi Link!!!

Redbubble: DreamScapeSev7n

Hello! I am trash_gobby, also known as trash. I kinda disappeared for a really long time from this tumblr account, only really showing up in small spurts to post or reblog stuff.

I've been dealing with a LOT of personal stuff that has made it really hard for me to keep up with this blog in general. Not for lack of desire. What's been going on in my personal life isn't really something I want to share here or anywhere regardless of my anonymity. Needless to say it's been rough and now things have really started to improve for me. I've even gotten published in an indie published anthology which was a real special thing for me.

Now I've been focusing a lot on my original works of fiction and improving things personally. I still want to post here. However, I won't be taking requests anymore and will be reformatting my content around posting only fanfics or headcanons which I will come up with. There are some stuff which people have requested in the past which I may consider working on if the mood strikes me.

A lot has changed for me in the past two years so I want to focus more on content which personally interests me right now.

There will most likely be a follow up post which goes into more detail about formatting and how things are gonna be organized once I've actually found time to devise a proper system for my old works. It might take a while though, considering I'm working full time now, and also doing a lot of important life stuff outside this blog.

Rules

1. I will DON’T encourage anyone who interacts with NSFW content who is underage.

2. Be respectful!!! No hate speech allowed (this includes anything transphobic, homophobic, transphobic, racist, fatphobic, antisemitic, ableist, Islamophobic etc.)

3. Constructive criticism is ALWAYS WELCOME!! This is a place where I want people to feel welcome to give respectful critiques of my work as I’m always trying to improve.

4. I won't be writing things from specific fandoms I've grown a certain sourness towards (usually because of the person who is in charge and not the fandom itself). I.e. Harry Potter is a bit of a sore spot for me and I have no interest in writing for it (I don't have an issue with others doing so since it's not up to me what others write and I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings about a fandom or work).

5. Relating to rule 2. - please don't bring any anti-palestinian sentiments to this space (this is not an invitation for others to be anti-Semitic so don't get things twisted. I support Judaism and the right for Jewish people to exist in peace and security within ALL countries and to be able to self determine. I think the same rights should also be extended to the Palestinian people who have been ignored by many and have had their rights and humanity stripped from them). This is not the blog of a Zionist and I would encourage others to follow or unfollow accordingly. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

✨ What I Write!!: Fluff, Headcanons, platonic/friendships, NSFW, Dating/SFW, LGBTQ+, tragedy/angst, crossover, reader x insert, character x character, mini-fics, character preferences

✨ What I WON’T write: p*dophelia, r*pe/non-con, tortue p*rn, BDSM that’s to outside of my comfort zone, b*astiality, incest, raceplay

Fun Facts About Me

1. I crochet lots of things for fun

2. I am a gender gremlin

3. My favourite all time characters are Severen (Near Dark 1987), Bishop (Aliens 1986), David (TLB 1987)

4. I am a huge A24 movie studio fan, because I am a pretentious film school graduate (I'm not a fan of Christopher Nolan or Quentin Tarantino though. Which I guess means I'm not as pretentious as I thought?? 🤔)

5. I have an AO3 account which has more stuff on it then this blog.

6. I am an aspiring author with a short story already published in a small indie press anthology (won't name here because my irl name is in the anthology). Little Ghost Books is the publisher though, and I would encourage y'all to check them out if you like 2SLGBTQIA+ horror often published indie and major horror titles. They are very worth it 💖

Masterlist for works

[mobius-m-mobius]

Thank you for posting all those gifs of Mobius being kind and supportive together. I've seen some takes about Mobius deserving it, but logically it doesn't make sense. He's already doing everything he can to save the timelines. He doesn't want to know his past, nor does he need to know to be motivated to save the timeliness, because he's already been doing since ep 1. Even if we make the argument he has no real free will until he sees his past, this argument is disingenuous because he's using his free will NOT to see it. From a narrative and character development standpoint, he will be forced to see it for the audience's entertainment, because he is a fictional character with no free will-- the screenwriters are the gods (Time Authors, if you will).

In-narrative, you could make a case he should see his timeline if he were actively trying to keep the TVA the way it was, but that's not the case with him. Sylvie's accusations this fall flat.

Mind, I'm not against Sylvie's proposition to start from scratch. Revolutions are important and serve that function. But the TVA is the only organization with people who know how the Loom and timespace work. It's not unreasonable for them to try to stabilize the situation, save the lives of as many timeliness as they can, and consider dismantling the TVA entirely and starting from scratch later.

Since we're dealing with time paradoxes, it's possible that the collapse of the Loom is what causes Loki to recruit Mobius, B-15, and Casey (I'm not sure what kind of entity OB is?) from their timelines. If they all accept, then Loki was the original creator of the Heart of the TVA. It's possible HWR took over at some point in the future and wiped everyone's memories then. The future influenced the past, thus closing the time loop. If this is the case, then Sylvie also contributed to the creation of the TVA, because killing HWR triggered the destruction of the Loom, which will force Loki to recruit, which will create the TVA, which will monitor the multiverse, which at some point will be taken over by HWR to create the Sacred Timeline, which become the multiverse one again after Sylvie kills him, which will destroy the Loom, which will cause Loki to recruit.

Of course!!! Always a delight to and on that note we're truly seeing eye to eye on every single point you raised so thank you for such an amazing ask! Exactly the conversation I was craving after making those gifs just to get some things off my chest about how Mobius gets treated since as you said, he's already been doing everything possible to protect the timelines while clearly under incomprehensible pressure yet has never hesitated to evaluate and change his worldview accordingly to better serve the whole.

Honestly confused by those insisting he HAS to see his past and is in the wrong for not having done so because isn't that up to him?? Doesn't matter what his reasons are, he's entitled to his choices and I can honestly say without hesitation if I were in his shoes my decision would be the same. He enjoys his job, he's incredibly good at the work (people seem to forget he's facilitated the progression of basically every plot point), and has recently built more connections he appreciates and wants to grow than in the entirety of his life combined so why is he not allowed to make a single decision in his own interest when neither his approach to changing the TVA nor any other person is being impacted? But you're exactly right about how regardless he'll be made to have the experience anyway and while I'd be perfectly happy with that never happening I accept the advancement of narrative as a given and can only hope whatever cards he's dealt are ones that only bring him peace of mind about the work he's done so far and in the future.

(adding a read more here because I've got a feeling this is gonna be a long one, lol)

Have also seen many people saying Sylvie blowing up at Mobius was necessary or that he needed to hear it but that logic is completely missed on me? For example Ravonna did the same but considering the amount of history between them her reaction is fully understandable even if I don't agree with the points she made about his compassion being a weakness. Mentioned this to a friend earlier but I truly wish it had been some random character besides Sylvie who yelled at him simply because she doesn't have the kind of personal connection to make judgements and because I don't want any ship war elements at play or anything when my take is solely based around wanting Mobius to be recognized as someone who has been good and kind from the start? Watching him be put down for that as if it's fact in basically every episode is getting exhausting 😔

To that point I also agree with the importance and necessity of revolution but not sure starting from scratch is necessary when the TVA does have a solid base and plenty of people willing to stay and help the cause? In reality there's no time for anyone there to stay currently focused on anything but stabilizing the situation when the alternative is the end of every timeline, burning things to the ground only really counts if there's any ground left to build on which is yet another reason Mobius and the others switched to preservation. For example, O.B's quip about Sylvie ruining his life by killing He Who Remains was complete fact and while I don't have any hate towards her character at all and certainly don't want any mirrored scene of someone yelling at her, etc, it's driving me crazy how she refuses to admit they've actively been saving lives and scrambling to accommodate these unexpected branches while she was at a MCDONALD'S.

My ep 5-6 theory matches yours regarding about the collapse of the Loom being the cause of Mobius, B-15, and Casey ending up at the TVA because their Nexus event technically isn't one, it's them choosing to leave with Loki of their own free will and the good of existence. I'm also not sure if O.B. was ever a variant so he could possibly be the key to figuring out where Loki can find everyone's original self? Psyched to learn more about him and how he ended up in such a vital position! Hundred percent think the series is ending with Loki as the founder and probable ruler of the TVA but can't quite figure out where the switch to He Who Remains entering the picture fits in, and your point about Sylvie also contributing to the creation of the TVA in an infinite loop is a fascinating one that's going to leave me thinking for a long while so thanks for that as well and of everything I have to admit the possibility of Loki and Mobius being their own ouroboros in creating just the right person to intrigue and change themselves into who they always wanted to be has been giving me life, them as timekeepers along with B-15 has been my hope since the first episode of season 2 and is probably the most incredible place I could imagine leaving everyone if we don't get another season.

[redwineconversation]

you (might) know ball, I know Aristotle (aka the Amandine Miquel dilemma)

Contrary to what feels like the majority of fans on Twitter, but maybe on brand for me, I'm not keen at all on the idea of Miquel being Lyon's next coach when the door slams shut behind Bompastor. So let's talk about why hitting the brakes on the Miquel to Lyon campaign is actually a good idea.

Should I put this under a read more considering how much I monologue? Probably. Did I? No.

There are two main things which deeply concern me about Miquel: her complete and utter lack of UWCL experience, and her management style. Let's pour ourselves a glass of wine and have a good and proper chat as though we are tortured poets.

I'm far too lazy to actually find this post, but in April 2022 ish I wrote something along the lines of "I truly do not care who [this team] fucks (over). I just want to win." That still stands. I want to win and I fucking hate losing. I cannot stand it.

And it's one of the reasons why I like Lyon, because there's always going to be - well, I say always, it should be as long as the core players are there - there's always going to be a part of them that genuinely hates losing, too. I need a team whose hatred of losing is greater than their desire to win. I need the thought of losing to keep them up at night. I need losing to change them.

And that mentality, right, it's not learned, it's innate in the purest sense of the term. Lyon are who they are because the thought of being anything else horrifies them. Just look at how much it bothers them when they get written off. This team likes to consider the UWCL trophy as being theirs. They will do almost anything to keep it.

That's not something you can coach. I don't think you can coach a killer instinct, I think it's either there or it's not. Monsters recognize monsters, or something, I guess. But the point is either a player already has a killer instinct or they don't. They don't become bloodthirsty halfway through their playing career.

The UWCL is different from league games. Coralie Ducher on OLPlay - who is a former Lyon player - said that the physicality is different, the tempo is different, the intensity is different. Lyon plays so well in the UWCL because they are used to it. They have been there many, many times before, UWCL games are muscle memory at this point for them. They know how to get the job done because they have done it.

Miquel however does not. She has not played in the UWCL. She has not managed a team in the UWCL. For me that is such a fundamental red flag, and I am so perplexed that people hand wave it away to the point of actually saying "the players can just bail her out" (I wish I had that tweet saved but also don't believe in outing people's social media, but that's another story). If your argument is the players can just bail her out while she learns on the job then Kang might as well just save some money and let the players coach themselves.

Has Miquel ever had to coach a game with as high stakes as a UWCL knockout game? No. We don't know what she is capable of doing, and again, it's unfair to put the burden on Lyon to find out. We shouldn't have to find out if Miquel can get Lyon past the semis against PSG, for example. Or, hell, even out of the group stages. I don't want to finish last in the group stage, or depending on the playoff games go, in qualifiers, and be knocked out of the UWCL and people come up with the excuse "it's okay, she's learning on the job." It's not up to Lyon to be the learning curve.

Bompastor's arrival as head coach has a pretty considerable anecdote to it, and that's that Vasseur, may the history books forget his name, literally drove the team head first into the fucking wall. The players didn't like him, the results weren't there, and he got kicked to the curb accordingly. Lyon was in such a state that Aulas brought Bompastor in because he wanted to save his favorite children. Bompastor already knew what the Lyon DNA was so she would be able to restore it. If Vasseur's damage wasn't what it was, then I am not sure Aulas would have appointed her as head coach.

So Bompastor already knew what made this team click, because she had been a part of it, so there wouldn't be that much of a learning curve. Her assignment was really just getting Lyon back on track, which she did in the 2021-2022 season but there are debates as to whether she did in the following seasons.

Bompastor knew how to handle big personalities because she is/was one herself, but she also lost the locker room this season for sure, and that's actually pretty significant. If Bompastor, who has the Lyon DNA, can't keep control of the Lyon locker room, then what guarantee is there that Miquel will keep it? What guarantee is there that Miquel will even be able to control it from the start? Her management career consists of bringing up academy players from a D2 team into a D1 team.

Great, and that's admirable, I like what's she done with Reims. But Reims is not Lyon, they're two completely different teams with completely different expectations and completely different players. Lyon does have some extremely strong personalities, even if their heart is in the right place. Bompastor knew how to handle it - until she didn't - because she knew how Lyon clicked. I don't think Renard, Hegerberg, Le Sommer, etc - they expect things to be done a certain way, and there is fierce resistance when it's not. Renard and Hegerberg pushed Pedros out because he wasn't challenging them enough in practice, and Pedros won a triple and a double with them. Trophies do not give you immunity in this team.

But let's get back to Miquel's management style, and true to form, this is another of my favorite soapboxes: Lyon is not a development club. I will die on that hill. It's my Sisyphus. If you want to be a competitive club, you have to get experienced players. You have to have players who already know how to get the job done. You don't win the UWCL with freshly promoted to the first team academy players. You win it by having players who have been there before.

Now, you can argue those players had to start somewhere, and I couldn't agree more. My issue is that it's unfair to put the burden on Lyon to be the "somewhere". I don't want to see what happens in a few years - I want to win now, because I am competitive now, because I am ambitious now. I don't want to lose. Send academy players out on loan, let another club be responsible for fucking around and finding out, let Lyon keep their winning heritage. That heritage will be lost if experienced players are pushed out in favor of developing academy kids.

Another argument I saw on Twitter, and one I strongly disagree with, is that if Miquel had Lyon's resources at her disposal, then the sky's the limit. it goes back to an earlier point - why should Lyon be responsible for Miquel's learning curve? If there was an intermediate club with bigger resources than Reims - like, say, AS Roma, or Ajax - then I think that would be a far better stepping stone. Otherwise it's literally handing Miquel the keys to a Maserati and hoping she passes her driving test in it.

'Miquel deserves a shot at coaching Lyon". No, respectfully, she doesn't. She did well against a - and I am being generous - good team. That cannot be grounds for coaching what was is arguably one of, if not the, best teams in women's football. You don't deserve a shot. You earn it from experience.

Or at least that should be the philosophy if you want Lyon to keep winning. Now, and in the future.

[missmaybe-not]

Booked for Trouble: Perils of Booking a Hotel Room for a Maybe

Hey Maybe Nots and Maybe Yeses! So sorry for the radio silence last week. I was off on a whirlwind travel adventure, collecting stories, getting lost in charming streets, and (of course) navigating the ever-interesting world of international dating. Buckle up, because this week's post is a juicy tale of missed connections, mixed signals, and a whole lot of me yelling at my phone screen.

The Long-Distance Lure: It all began last June, a classic Tinder swipe right that turned into a virtual pen pal situation. He was a foreigner visiting my country, but alas, fate (and my work schedule) had other plans. He was only here for a short visit, and our schedules never quite aligned. Despite the limited time, we kept chatting – a slow burn of sweet nothings that escalated in November. Here's where the red flags started popping up like confetti at a wedding:

Destination Dreams: He tried to convince me to change my vacation plans to his city (thankfully in the same country I was already planning to visit). Blinded by the potential of a meet-cute, I actually changed my itinerary accordingly!

Double Trouble: Fast forward to January, and things were getting serious (or so I thought). We're talking sweet nothings, and I've even booked a double room for our rendezvous. Yes, you read that right. Self-inflicted facepalm moment right there.

The Ghosting Games Begin: By the end of January, radio silence. He completely ghosted me for a month and a half! Excuses poured in later about work and trouble with his ex (due to having a child living in another country, no less). Despite wanting to scream into the void, I offered a listening ear if he needed to vent. Maybe I was falling for the potential, or maybe I was just lonely – either way, I was hooked, and it was bad.

The Back-and-Forth Tango: After establishing a boundary about communication (hello, 3-second voice note!), things went silent again. But wait, there's more! My weak spot (aka Instagram) led me to reply to one of his stories. By then I doubted he knew who I was – the girl with the upcoming trip and the paid-for hotel room! But no. Briefly, things rekindled, only to fizzle out once again.

The (Almost) Grand Finale: Fast forward to last week – my trip to his city. Complete silence from him since March 31st. Did he show up? Did he make an excuse (again)? He texted me while I was on the train, asking for the hotel info and promising to meet for drinks after work. Talk about mixed signals!

Two Nights of Passion (and Questions): He showed up, looking even better than his pictures. The conversation flowed, and after drinks, we ended up back at the hotel. We stopped in front of the elevator waiting for it. The air crackled with anticipation. Suddenly, his eyes met mine. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, his hand holding my waist and back. The kiss was intense, passionate, hungry.

The elevator's ring broke the spell. We turned to each other, half smiles and rosy cheeks. We entered the elevator. With my back to him, I felt his arms wrap around my waist. His kisses trailed up my neck, searching for my lips. No need to say what happened as soon as I opened the door to my room.

He didn’t stay the night, but the following day, there he was and it was basically a copy-paste of the previous night minus the elevator scene (as we had company).

The Aftermath and the New Maybe: We texted for a while after my trip, but the messages dwindled. Now, here I am, confused and conflicted. Am I being irrational for wanting more from a long-distance connection?

Meanwhile, in Another Corner of the Dating Pool: To add another layer of complexity, I've been chatting with someone else from the same country as the previous guy (seems I have a type!). He's a sweetheart, but also comes with his own baggage.

So, what's a girl to do? Here's the thing, love warriors: This is where you come in! Should I wait for the maybe-something with Mr. Miscommunication? Do I give the new guy a chance, even though my heart might not be fully invested? Or is there a Mr. Right lurking around the corner who hasn't swiped right yet?

Spill the tea in the comments! Let's hear your thoughts on this long-distance drama and any advice you might have for a Miss Maybe Not who's feeling a little lost. 

Until next week, stay strong, stay hopeful, and may the dating gods bless you with clear communication and genuine connections!

[kyra45]

hereisjamieee is a scam account

Did you get an ask from this user? Well unfortunately it’s just a scammer and you don’t need to worry about them being a real person needing help. The ask sent it as follows:

“Yoooo Happy Easter! (; I know this might not really be the best time to ask for help but is it okay if you could pleaseee boost/share the post I did for my cat? I pinned it on my blog, if you have an extra time please do check it out. Im terribly sorry, i just dont know what else to do :(( hoping you'd consider to help just by even spreading the word. Please send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately and I hope you're having an amazing day! Be safe please! 🐈🙏”

Notice how they request you to answer the ask privately for some reason. If their post is public, there should be any reason to want to keep the ask hidden unless they don’t want anyone else to find it. This ask also refers to Easter, because it’s related to the time they send this ask. However, it is still a scam ask.

The information in their post about their cat is entirely fake and made up. The post is copy/pasted across multiple accounts and the cats name/photo are changed all the time and the date of pay is also changed accordingly. You will see the same words across multiple scam accounts if you pay attention. (Archived post link)

In closing, I won’t really go into much detail as I’ve already shown the cat in their post is actually called Biscuit and isn’t owned by the PayPal it shows. If you see this on any post claiming to own a pet, it’s a scam. Jamie Johnson is likely a Facebook user whose name has been stolen and turned into a fraudulent address. If anyone knows how to, please report this PayPal account. JamieJ425 is not legitimate and is owned by a scammer. Do not give money.

[blortch]

Not trying to start any drama or anything, but I sent that ask letting off some steam about Mike being a petulant little man, and a lot of tags in the reblogs were calling me out that I don’t know mikes humor, he’s always been like that etc etc etc. but I just want to make my point clear, that I like you all have watched all the videos too. There is a marked change in his insolence. Whereas in the past mikes jabs at rich and Jay were mean yes, they felt like a part of the bit. Written jokes, even if there was no script. Like it was an understanding that Mike was gonna use insult humor to make jokes and build the channel. And I think it probably worked. Whereas now it’s not as directly mean, like direct fat jokes or gay jokes or whatever, now it’s just more dismissive of rich and jay’s opinion just to make room for mikes. (I don’t think you watched the acolyte video but Mike in editing, cut off rich in such a disrespectful and shitty way that it really irked me) also the “shut ups” in particular from Mike seem to me to be the most disrespectful, not only because it’s boorish or inelegant in its delivery, but because he is their “boss” it’s even more particularly distasteful, because they usually do just shut up when he tells them to. It just highlights a power imbalance that MAY have been there all along, I’m not sure, but that rift feels even more wide, and makes Mike feel even more like a tyrannical boss to them, which makes him seem more like a petulant little shit.

Anyway as always thank you for listening. You are always one of the most clear eyed in the fandom, and I always respect your opinion. Thanks!

Anon to be honest with you I've been where you've been a couple times myself where I was shy or hesitant to post my opinion so I send an anon ask, and then people write in the notes horrid shit that should happen to me cuz it's "just some anon" which is why I can sympathize with you. I understand what feelings led you to send this ask after the last one yet I can tell you from experience that you honestly shouldn't have sent it, it unfortunately won't help your case if you overexplain yourself to people that evidently have made up their minds and have come to different conclusions from watching about as many videos as you have. Usually it won't help you come to terms with the feelings you might've gone through while looking at like 7 people bash your theory with you being unable to argue back with this format. I'll publish this ask mostly for this piece of advice but if you get more of the same notes on this ask I can't help you. And I know u said u didn't want to start any drama but unforch by sending this ask alone you kind of are 😭

But let's assume you wanted to just send this to me specifically as a DM you couldn't send for X or Y reason just to chat and for the rest of this response I'll answer accordingly.

I still haven't watched the Acolyte video and you can't make me !!! Despite what my blog looks like I value my time dearly.

Your accusations are kinda heavy. I can already tell you that there's one point that isn't quite correct which is that "when Mike tells them shut up they do" because in one of the latest "shut up" instances Jay continued exactly where he left off.

Seen objectively, one thinks "boss" and thinks some degree of power is at play, but in execution, the hint that we've been given is that supposedly Jay has just as much power to not upload edits he doesn't give the ok to post (with some exceptions as seen in the Space Cop commentary where Jay personally didn't want the joke in there where it was implied his character shoved something 10 inches long up his ass, or where Rich and Jack said in PreRec they protested vehemently against the "whazaaaa" joke at the beginning and they couldn't change Mike's mind).... From this All we can infer is that movies are a different ballpark to Mike or at least Space Cop was. I KNOW I've mentioned Jay complaining about the Wedding arc in the Projection Booth Podcast too before but him saying that he found it "horrible" doesn't equal that he didn't want it to be in the show unlike the two Space Cop instances. TLDR we can't say with certainty if they mightn't have taken FURTHER countermeasures that we don't see that might counteract this POSSIBILITY of a owner vs. employee power imbalance.

A more cynical side of me has seen this company-of-friends model go very nightmarishly horribly many times in the past and I think some people feel threatened by the idea that their dream might be impossible or have a low chance of succeeding.

I think I can vaguely see what you're seeing in terms of what Mike insult-jokes have looked like through the years but there's a fair amount from back then I didn't like either, like this horrible old Plinkett commentary that sounds like an audiobook version of his video descriptions where not a single joke-insult towards Rich and Jay hits so they just land on the floor with a thud and feel weirdly bitter. (btw they are all before the 4:03 mark so please don't torture yourself listening to the rest of the commentary)

Ultimately as I've been saying your views are your own and I would personally value them as questionable and I don't exactly have the authority to prove you wrong. I have absolutely 0 at stake so I don't feel like defending their reputation much either lol all I'll do is add an ALLEGEDLY banner. You're welcome.

[thelastpathfinder]

Posted up on the side of one of the comms towers overlooking the shipyard, you watch the ants far below you go about their business. It's the safest you've felt since returning to Cybertron. No-one noticed you fly to your perch, a fact that continues to bewilder you—you're all white and sporting a frame design that hasn't existed in millions of years, yet you seem capable of sneaking about without really trying.

You suppose you should be grateful. Someone out there wants you dead, after all, so being able to effortlessly evade detection is a blessing. Maybe you should change your name accordingly. Sneak is your first thought, one you quickly dismiss for sounding a little too, well, dishonest. And the good names are probably all already taken.

You watch a pair of jets zip past a few hundred feet below, casting distorted shadows against the clouds. There's no way for them to spot you from that angle, but just the sight of a jet in flight makes your tanks lurch with panic now. Hiding won't keep you safe forever. You lay flat on your back, your primary arms folded behind your head, and ponder your options.

There's more you can change than just your name. Glowfin had suggested a frame reformat, before the assassination attempt. You'd dismissed the idea at the time, but now you're coming to see it in a new light. This body isn't yours, after all; it was forced on you by the Initiative. It's never felt like you, just a vessel necessary to your survival. How are you supposed to fight effectively when you don't even feel connected to your own body? Not only that, but a new frame would make you harder to recognize. You'd just be changing for the sake of your survival again, only this time it would be your choice. It doesn't seem so terrible.

You turn over, restless. The sun feels pleasant on your rotors. You miss Glowfin terribly. You can't imagine she had anything to do with the assassination, but you don't want to put her in any danger by reaching out. In the Institute's custody, you were a caged animal; now you've mauled the hand that feeds, and there's no going back. You try not to think of Longwing, and the look on his face before you smashed it to pieces. His engines had let out an awful stuttering screech when you killed him. It had taken hours to scrub every last drop of his energon from your frame.

Stop it, you scold yourself wearily. What's done is done.

Lulled by the soothing warmth of the sun, you drift into a light sleep. In your dreams you're surrounded by a sea of shadowy, faceless figures; you leap amongst them, slashing and tearing with teeth and claws you do not have. You clamber up the growing pile of bodies, killing your way to the top, where there is no-one left to fight. There is only your own reflection, hands outstretched, begging you to stop.

But it was so easy, you cry, and tackle your reflection off the pile; you both tumble into a chasm, and you awake with a jolt before you can glimpse what waits at the bottom.

You've overslept. Night is fast approaching, and you feel a heavy dread in your spark that has nothing to do with the gathering darkness.

[1tsjusty0u]

screw it off anon. want to post turtles.

AAUUGGH im. in love with the little deku baba flowey...AND LYNEL TORIEL? LORIEL?? this au is so cute im dying. UM. UM have you played majoras mask cos...theres some guys in there that remind me a lot of papyrus and sans. AND THERES TURTLE ENEMIES IN A LINK TO THE PAST FOR GERSON!! AAA...AAAA ok. ok im normal now.

turtle.

ALSO.ALSO AUGH pre-calamity aus are so neat its like there's so little we know about that era so it's really fun to like expand upon the champions' dynamics with each other!! also so so so easy to dive into a worldbuilding abyss with it cos like we know just enough about pre-calamity hyrule to make a few inferences and go buck-wild

HELP. HE RESIGNS. GOD THATS. LITERALLY WHAT I HC HE'D DO IF HE COULD LIKE. YEAH. THATS SUCH A THING. HE'D TOTALLY RESIGN AND JUST RUN OFF INTO THE WOODS AS PER LINK TRADITION. UH. thats such a fun little thing to play around with

anyways ummmmmmmmmmmmmm you should talk about them . throws up I like all of them those are just kind of the ones I have something substantial to say about besides "I want to put them in a jar and shake them violently"

AUGJJT TNAKDYOU….. and ssort of!! so far i completed 2 dungeons (woodfall temple and snowhead temple) but thats about it! its good that you said that though because i was running out of ideas for sans and papyrus and almost just. had them have the same designs s they do in undertale.,..,. AUGRHRHT OUGH . TURETLE…………… i did not know turtle enemies existed (except for the ones in majoras mask i forgor abt!). i am holding him so gently……

YEAHYEAHYEAH EXACTLY!!!!!!! plus like. we can go into what couldve been forgotten over time if that makes sense? like. theres already a theme in botw of amnesia, literally with link and figuratively with the places. some once being important while being avoided or forgotten due to the calamity (temple of time botw), while others are barley mentioned at all but seem pretty important (the eighth heroine state and the other seven, plus the yigas hideout Being a gerudo archeological site originally, also the zonai ruins in botw though. that ones kind of a mess due to. totk and also iirc the majority people only thought it was important when the trailers for totk were coming out but thats off topic). we can basically go insane with what was forgotten, what was half forgotten (stories passed down for things that were Once true but now are no longer true and stories changing accordingly, like the pleiades star cluster being referred to as the 7 sisters when only 6 were visible and in a lot of the myths about them one of the sisters is missing, either dead or abducted or etc. there Are 7 stars though but they drifted so close together over time that they became undistinguishable to the naked eye, but there Was a time that 7 stars were visible separately! 100000 years ago), and stories that still exist! i think its interesting how so much has changed during the calamity to even before it with some ruins, and itd be worth it to explore it!! if i focus on it lmao i uh. yeah it depends on how i write this thing

EXACTLY!!!!!! hes growing up so fast,,,.,,,,

AUGH THHNAK YOU,…. i will talk about them more one day.. mayeb . when the time is right and the prophecy unfolds

[eddsworld-the-masquerade]

Info post!

Thank you everyone for your feedback on the demos! I am very happy you all came to like it. Don't feel discouraged from sending any new feedback though, since it's gonna be awhile until I get back to work (I'm in exam hell 'till mid May), might as well use the time to advantage.

Most of you seem more interested in game/visual novel format, therefore in this post I'll talk about features I mean to implement, or think of implementing. I'll also talk about possible updating schemes (chapter basis vs. all-at-once), let me know what you think about those. For those who won't get intimidated by text, I'll leave some WIPs for artwork at the very end :3

Discussing game features!

Random events Now this is something you've already experienced in the demo, albeit in its rough form. Since I'm planning a kinetic/linear story (aka there won't be a choice system) because writing a branching story is going to kill me, this serves as a sort of replacement. Due to random chance being involved, random events will happen only during "moments of respite", so to speak, when there is no danger and no consequences for the main plot. Random events are mostly "character flavor", additional moments that, if you miss, won't hinder the major story, but they do add fun little details to characterization. This should mitigate possible unfairness while still bringing some replay value to the table. I plan on implementing a scene list, where you can view names of all encountered/unlocked scenes, sort of like achievement list.

Turn based battles This one is more ambitious but not entirely impossible. There are tons of tutorials on battle system in Renpy and even codes already written and running. Battles could be another way to make up for lack of choice system and thus lack of gameplay. Plus, the script outline already features numerous fighting scenes, and given it's VtM, I feel battles could be implemented organically. I'm mostly thinking of watered down Darkest Dungeon, or, if you're hip, Honkai Star Rail. The amount of "water" is yet to be decided, but it should be relatively simple both for me to implement and for you to play through. Don't know if I'll add anything that could be called "leveling up characters" but I am thinking of making battles skippable in options. This is still mostly an idea, and I'll need to make some tests first to see if I'll be able to implement this in actual game.

Updating schemes!

First things first, I'll need to write the entire script. The reason why I don't want to make it chapter basis is, based on my past experience, there's a high chance I'll figure out some changes needed in previous chapters as I work on next ones, so I go back and edit them accordingly. And this works best if I'm writing the full thing back to back, without publishing. Release when it's ready. This should take me a year, give or take, again based on past experience (it's almost the same amount of writing I had to do back then). I understand it's quite long but I don't feel comfortable changing this workflow of mine :(

Now, for actual game development, there are two options:

All-at-once Basically the same as with the script. I develop the entire game and then publish it in one piece. Personally I feel this would work best for me, but it would increase the already big enough wait time to around two years, best case scenario. Probably two and a half, or even three. I understand it's hard to wait that long, which is why there is a second option.

Chapter basis I develop a chapter (insert all the text, art, animation, music, etc.), publish it, then proceed to work on the next one and release it when it gets done and so on. Sort of like game patches. Bendy and the Ink Machine style if you remember that thing. You redownload the project and continue from your last save. This gives me a bit less control but also makes you wait significantly less for main story content.

Please let me know which option you would prefer.

As a thank you for reading this huge wall of text, here are some WIPs as promised :D

Part of the short comic on your regular Tord and Edd shenanigans

Something tarot themed! Missing Cat (The Star) for now. I'll probably change the composition for most of these.

Rough concepts for Tord's wAcKy family. Also him pre-embrace

Some Matilda animation. Girlboss