#all of which sounds like i hated it but truthfully there are small joys to be found in this bizarre slop of nonsense

[mariocki]

Death Curse of Tartu (1966)

"Now look, Billy, the human brain is very mysterious. Sometimes it makes us see things that don't exist and hear things that never were."

"How do you explain the people that were killed, then?"

[pupkashi]

in which gojo realizes you truly see him

a/n: just a little thought i have i want to comfort him and hug him always <3 thank u to the amazing wonderful lovely @vagabond-umlaut for helping me w this fic <33 would’ve been hot garbage without u i love u xoxo <3

wordcount: 720

masterlist

Gojo Satoru had only known life through his many titles.

Gojo Satoru, head of the Gojo clan.

Gojo Satoru, holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless.

Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer.

satoru hated titles. he hated being known and labeled for the things that didn’t even make up who he was. no one after suguru came close to trying to get to know him.

his fellow sorcerers always too busy or intimidated, viewing him as a spectacle.

there was a sense of longing in his heart to find someone who really wanted to know him. someone to ask him all his favorites, someone to ask him what he wanted to be as a child, what his fears were, if he had a middle name, what animal he’s always wanted as a pet.

but there was never anyone who got past the surface level questions.

until he met you.

you who upon meeting him gave him a kind smile, not a clue of who he was, telling him he could sit with you in the booth of the much too crowded coffee shop.

“they really should get more chairs around here” he mumbles, looking up at you with a small grin when you laugh in agreement, glancing up from your laptop.

“seriously! half the time it’s a gamble if I’ll be able to get some work done or if I’ll have to drive back home” you chuckle, gojo smiling at your words.

you both spent some more time talking, sipping on your respective drinks and getting to know each other.

satoru found out you had no clue about Jujutsu, given by the way you’d never heard of jujutu tech or of him. he couldn’t stop himself from giving you a charming smile, scribbling his number on a napkin before saying goodbye, a smile on his face as he walked out of the coffee shop.

you who on the second date asked him what animal he thinks he could fight and win, asking him his favorite songs and if he’d ever been to a concert before.

you who on the fourth date had him giggling, confessing how much he liked you and telling you all about his life because he wants this to work out so bad and it can’t start off as a lie.

you who a week later calls him, asking him to answer truthfully when you ask him what animal he could really take in a fight, laughing when he answers with ‘at least a cow’ his lips curling upwards at the sound.

he’s laying on the couch with you, your hands lost in his hair as the movie plays in the background softly, your voice is quiet as you speak up.

“do you have a middle name?” the question is simple, some might think it silly. but to satoru it’s like his whole world is flipped upside down.

because here he is, in your warm and homey apartment that’s nothing like his cold larger one, with you, who brings him all the love and joy he could’ve ever imagined. he’s looking at you with glimmering eyes, heart stuttering at the sight of you in his shirt that you’d stolen with a smile.

it’s with that question that he’s realizing he’s finally found someone who really wants to know him. who doesn’t care for his power or status, but cares for his terrible jokes and interests.

“toru?” you asked, pulling him out of his daze and back to reality.

“sorry” he smiles sheepishly before shaking his head ‘no,’ a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

satoru finally finds himself with titles that mean something to him. titles that he cherishes and holds close to his heart.

Gojo Satoru, who eats anything and everything that was sweet, claiming they’re no match for the sweet taste of your lips.

Gojo Satoru, who had an insane secret obsession with romcoms. an obsession you were sure was just to get you to cuddle him until you found him up at 3 am watching a terrible hallmark movie all on his own.

Gojo Satoru, who couldn’t stand when you were mad at him, going to drastic measures for you to forgive him.

Gojo Satoru, who considered himself lucky enough to hold the title of your boyfriend, your confidant and your favorite sorcerer.

[the-thread-of-muses]

Sometimes, it’s the simpler things that gained the Monkey’s attention. Let it be her invitation – which the Monkey King was going to accept after pretending to give it some thought later in the day – or of how a simple chime caught his attention. His ears almost wiggled, but he suppressed it; not wanting to give himself away just yet. As it seems, currently, he was either just a Monkey with no wares or a rather hairy, and abit short, Human with an affinity for brightly colour glass. It’s blue, greens, teals, and purples sparked up memories (some that Sun wondered were necessary to remember); of a time that seemed far more simple.

Of a time where he didn’t need to think of being an annoyance for annoyance sake; of a time where he had some sort of purpose. Yes, as the memories of his pilgrimage came flooding back, he didn’t notice the Witch. In fact he seemed to have forgotten her, at least for the moment.

Scattered about in the colour refractions were idle thoughts and wonders, joys and anger and hate and peace and longing, all before him. It seemed like an idle movement, but he went to reach, hesitantly it seems, at something that wasn’t there. Something only his eyes, as bright and golden as they were, could see. Sun only paused once her head the sound of coin hitting the booth.

That’s what broke him out of his trance.

Blinking a few times and shaking his head to recompose himself, Sun looked over at Mortem and pretended to gawk at her generosity. While, honestly, he was grateful and touched by such selfless actions, he couldn’t help but to wonder what she got out of it. An amused titter left his lips then, going to smile at the merchant who examined the coin with such focus.

It was true, he was without money. Well, not really; he could afford himself a simple chime such as this, if he had simply remembered to bring the correct tinder. But for the moment and the moment alone, he was in her debt.

Which. . .

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎. . . Truthfully, felt like something he should be more worried about. Being indebted to a Witch was far too dangerous – too reckless, some might say. But he couldn’t see any harm in it. He’ll steal something for her later on, he decided, going to gently take the wind chime as it was handed to him.

❝Thank you, Grandma.❞ He said to the stall’s owner, who seemed to smile at how ‘respectful’ he was to his ‘elder’. It was the small things like this that made Humans so. . . Entertaining. So unique. Respect for one’s elders was something he’ll use for the ‘younger’ Gods and Deities about then.

He was a few thousand or so years older than most.

As he gently, carefully, handled the chime, he went to carefully slip it away into his robe. Clearly, there was a hidden pocket or two (or three, or four, perhaps even more) that he was using. It helped, certainly, that he wasn’t dressed as one would see the Monkey King to be dressed up as.

Going to catch up to her, another titter leaving his lips to get her attention as if she was a Monkey herself, he went to lightly elbow Mortem in the rib.

❝You didn’t need to do that, you know.❞ He said once they were walking side-by-side again. He wanted to thank her, but of course, his ego made it far too difficult to so something so. . . Simple. ❝If it wasn’t an elder manning that booth, I would’ve gotten it one way or another.❞

Old habits died hard, and they died harder with Sun.

❝You’re far too kind, you know, for a Witch.❞ He meant no ill intent with that statement, and he was sure at this point the other would understand what he meant.

Mortem laughed lightly at the thought of his boredom leading him to harass the Heavens. She'd love to be a fly on the wall for that. Upsetting deities was a respectable hobby, in her opinion. Though, given his reputation, she was sure it would cause quite the stir.

"But I see your meaning. I've had plenty come to my home demanding the same. Or not even having the courtesy to ask - sometimes they go straight for the jugular under their own assumptions." Mortem lamented playfully. She wasn't really that bothered, it kept life semi-interesting. At least, when someone worth the interest came along. But even when it wasn't someone of interest, at least the corpses could make for good fertilizer for her gardens.

Despite the audacity the deities had, she supposed it was nice they recognized his power enough to talk first instead of trying to attack. Showed a bit of wisdom on their behalf, also meant his mountain wasn't constantly getting banged up or worse. Unlike her cabin. The enchantments she had to place upon it to cease fixing it constantly was a bit ridiculous - if not a bit sad.

His opinion of the festival was one she was amused by. It was rather quaint they upheld such a tradition, especially in an age where harvests weren't a thing mortals struggled with any longer. Still, appreciating the trials of the past was something that would always garner her respect. The importance of history, the value and relevancy it had - setting a foundation for the present, as the present set a foundation for the future... it was all of value. She worked hard to ensure history would not be forgotten, regardless of where in the world it could happen.

"If you'd like to attend a festival that celebrates a great battle that was overcome, I certainly know of a place back home. You ought to come visit at the end of spring." She invited. The capital city and high kingdom that unified all the others often held a celebration. A remembrance. It was a bittersweet event, but it possessed a reminder of their history - the value of keeping that knowledge alive was important beyond words. And hearing people speak so fondly, so admirably of the people she knew so longer ago still... It was always worth attending for that alone.

As they walked, she observed the passing people - the happy children, smelled the various foods in the air. All before she noticed his hand signaling her to pause. Curiously, the witch followed - wondering just what caught his eye.

How unexpected... an appreciation for stained glass? He'd really like the festival in her capital, then. Those from the neighboring desert always brought with them sand-blown glass. Wind chimes, vases, art of all kinds with such beautiful craftsmanship.

The chime of it was pretty, no wonder he was drawn to it. Mortem observed the way it swayed, the hum of its chimes, the way the light caught the glass.

"This would look nice upon a mountain, I'd think." She took her chin between her fingers after a moment, "I can imagine the sunlight catching the glass - the breeze making pleasant music." She considered aloud, totally encouraging and enabling him without an ounce of shame. To see such wonder and appreciation from Wukong, well, how could she not suggest such when it clearly made him so happy to see and hear?

From her pouch, she pulled out a coin that would suffice in its payment. It idly rolled across the back of her knuckles before she set it down on the counter before Wukong as a gift - unsure if her new friend had the currency for this country or not. Not wanting him to feel put on the spot to buy it or not, or possibly regarding whether he had the currency or not, the witch walked away to let him decide what he wanted to do. She opted to meander down the tables, admiring the glasswork as she flicked a bell from another wind chime along the way.

Money meant nothing to someone as old as she. What was priceless was seeing the little joys that adorned another's face. Especially the face of someone whose company she was enjoying.

[papergirllife]

Lee Jeno

werewolf! alpha Jeno x vampire! reader

warnings : imprisonment, torture, blood (not blood play), boob play, oral (female), unprotected sex, rut, breeding kink, knotting, cockwarming, mild angst, fluff (all in that order, kind of).

Having the ability of flight as one of the pure blood royal line vampires has given you the joy of turning into a bat, you just mastered the ability, thinking it would be safe to be flying about freely in the safety of your own coven, until you end up tumbling into one of those tiny cell windows you had always thought were drain holes, falling into the lap of one of the most dashing men you’ve ever seen walk the earth.

a/n : this is loosely based on the underworld movies and this is the second installment for my halloween event. please look forward to Haechan’s soon!

The night transcends back into darkness as the sun fades below the horizon, you can hear loud shutters of window panes opening, as you hop out of bed to start the day.

Being a vampire means you live hidden away from mortal eyes, your vampire coven shrouded by the magic casted over by the witch in your coven, witches tend to seek jobs among other magical creatures. You are the 13th princess of this coven, which sounds like you have a promising position among everyone, but in actual fact, you didn’t. The younger of the brood aren’t as aggressive as your older siblings, the ones that hunt with the coven, and fight in wars.

Vampires and werewolves have long been enemies, no one really knows why anymore, but there was much bloodshed between these two species. Killing occurred left and right, and a war would be raging soon. From what you had heard, your coven had successfully captured a prince of one of the biggest werewolf packs, which wasn’t an easy feat, although your coven is the biggest and oldest one.

You didn’t think much about it, only going to your classes with your younger siblings and hanging out after. You had recently developed the skill of transfiguring into a bat, under your sister, Irene’s care. You were soaring in the skies and under cars, enjoying your newfound freedom of flight. But to your misfortune, a strong wind picked you up and blew you near the main fortress, you lost control and fell into what you thought was the drain hole, which you later realised was a small window, and windows this tiny could only mean one thing, you were in one of the dungeon cells.

You fell into a prisoner’s lap, quickly trying to fly away, but he caught you. Your sharp bat eyes registered a handsome young man as he holds you in his strong grasp, his anger evident as a frown graces his face.

“Who are you?!” the young man started strangling your tiny bat throat, cutting off your air supply. So you had no choice, but willed yourself to become a person again.

Jeno had never thought that the tables would finally turn, he’d have the chance to give a vampire a taste of their own medicine for torturing him when he first got locked up, but when he forced the bat to turn back into a vampire, he couldn’t believe his eyes. 

You are breathtakingly beautiful, in your black velvet dress, soft curls falling around your smooth skin, and eyes that shines as bright as the moonlight streaming in the small window. Jeno is curious, he had never seen such a beautiful vampire, the ugly ones that want to kill him yes, but were killed once his claws sink deep into their flesh.

“Who are you? I know only vampires of the dracula bloodline can turn into bats, so you better tell me the truth,” Jeno let go of the hand on your throat, but locked your body in his hold, his strength overpowering yours.

“I’m the 13th princess of this coven and killing me won’t do you any good, my father doesn’t even talk to me unless he has to,” you told him truthfully, hoping that he’d spare your life if you pleaded.

“Why not?” Jeno asked, but he doubted it, how could someone not love a daughter this beautiful, Jeno generally didn’t like vampires, and hate the ones that desire to kill him, but he can’t smell a lick of aggression in the air.

You were skeptic of his questions, but if there’s more talking, then he probably wouldn’t kill you as soon.

“We chose not to become hunters, I don’t like killing anyone...

Jeno’s eyes softened at your downturned face, avoiding his eyes, you must’ve been shamed for not upholding the cold blooded tradition.

“Are you going to kill me?” you said, volume almost a whisper.

Jeno released you from his hold, letting you scurry away from him in fear, backing into the opposite wall.

“I probably wouldn’t be able to kill you before you heal, you know?” Jeno said, gesturing the chain on his neck, it was coated in silver on the outside, it’s purpose is not to kill him, but weaken him significantly.

You scanned the cuts on his arms and gasped, some were still bleeding. You tore pieces of cloth from your dress, taking tiny steps to the wolf.

“I’m going to patch you up, alright?” you offered, you don’t know why, but growing up in the coven meant you had seen a lot of bloodshed, and seeing him like this, helpless and wounded, didn’t sit right with you.

“Don’t bother, I’ll heal soon,” Jeno said, turning his gaze away from you, why is a vampire helping him?

“You’re still going to have to wait a while, and leaving the wound exposed risks infections, even after they heal, then you’ll have to wait several more days for the infection to fade. It’s best that I patch it up for you, okay?” you persuaded, you can’t believe you’re offering to help a wolf, but he did spare your life, this is the least you could do for him.

Jeno is confused by your acts, are you here to kill him secretly? That shouldn’t be the case, these vampires wanted to cut off his head in front of his own pack, they wouldn’t plan on killing him in such a small scale way, vampires always loved to boast. Jeno nodded silently, sitting up straight for you.

You secured the make shift bandages on his wounds, as Jeno stared at you silently. He has never met someone with such a kind heart, you knew he could hurt you, but regardless, you chose to take a risk, just to help him, your kind’s sworn enemy.

“There, all done,” you looked at him as you kneeled back from your previous close proximity, giving yourself some distance to look at him from a better angle, as Jeno did the same, taking in your appearance once again. Jeno is really handsome, in your opinion, his face was sculptured to a perfection and he’s very well built, you could see his veins bulging as you patched him up, his sharp eyes looking back at you.

“What’s your name?” Jeno asked, interest peaking.

You told him your name, and asked for his as well.

“Jeno. Well, thank you, for your assistance. You should go back now, before anyone goes looking for you,” Jeno advised, knowing that if anyone were to find you here with him, you would be in great trouble.

“Oh, okay,” you didn’t know why, but you felt crestfallen at his words, like he was shooing you away, just like the other people here.

You took one last look at him, before turning back into a bat, flying back out from where you came from.

The next night, the same winged creature fell into his lap, panting in exhaustion.

“Do you have trouble breathing? Are you okay? Can you hear me?” Jeno asked, not knowing whether to worry about your well being first or why you’re here in the first place.

When you recovered from your long flight, you finally turned back into your mortal from, your dress heavy with food. You reached into one of your big pockets and produced two sandwiches, the smell of meat making Jeno’s stomach growl.

“Where did you get so much food?” Jeno asked, knowing well that vampires don’t eat.

“I flew to the human city nearby, do you like Subway?” you asked, handing the food to him.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to,” Jeno said as he unwrapped the sandwich, it was even heated up.

“I know they don’t really feed you here, since we don’t eat,” you offered.

“Isn’t it tiring? Flying like that?” Jeno asked, seeing from how careless you were yesterday, you might be very new to flying still.

“I’ll just treat it as exercise, no worries,” you dismissed.

Jeno reached for the food and took a bite, but he couldn’t stomach the guilt he felt, you flown so far away just to get him food, but why?

“Why are you helping me?” Jeno asked, he wanted to look mean, cold, he was supposed to be an underserving prisoner in your eyes, but you treat him like an equal instead.

“I... I don’t have friends here, except for a few of my siblings, and you’re around my age, so I thought I could make a friend,” you offered, yes you are quite close with Irene, but you never talk to her about anything personal.

Jeno paused mid bite as he observed you, seeing if he had heard wrongly, and how genuine you looked. He could see you were hopeful, is your life so confined to this area that you needed a friend that badly?

You were fiddling your fingers nervously as you awaited his reaction.

“Our kind are sworn enemies and you see me as a friend?” Jeno questioned, his tone a slight accusation, because he thinks he would never offer to be friends with the vampire kind if it weren’t for you initiating it, it feels like treachery.

“I didn’t choose to be a vampire, I don’t think my birthright has anything to do with the choices I make. Don’t you think so?” you retorted, not liking how he had used that tone on you.

At that moment Jeno felt foolish for his assumption, maybe he just hasn’t met a good vampire until today.

“I’m not opposed to having a friend like you then,” Jeno said as he smiled for the first time, in a long time.

You started spending every night, a few hours, being in this cell with Jeno. He told you about growing up with his pack, about his brothers and the mountain scenery where he lived, and his interests.

“It’s really beautiful, even at night, you can hear the distant sound of the waterfall clearly on the cliff, the stars are even clearer there. Maybe you could go there one day,” Jeno said as he recalled his home fondly.

“Me? What about you? Aren’t you going to take me there?” you asked, sitting up from your spot next to Jeno.

“Princess, I’m going to be locked up here and be killed once the time is right,” he couldn’t bear telling you that he was scheduled to be beheaded sooner than you think, Jeno’s grown to have a soft spot for you, and probably something dangerous and  bigger than he had ever expected, but he knows what a fragile heart you have.

“No, you’re not. I’ll find a way, we’ll find a way,” you persuaded him, hoped.

“I’m not going to let you risk your position, hell even your whole life just to save me, you deserve to lead your own life. We have to stop seeing each other, you have to stop visiting me,” Jeno said firmly, sitting up as well, his tone suddenly serious, lecturing you.

Jeno could see you were close to tears at this point, he didn’t want to push you away, but he can’t be selfish, he won’t let you put your life on the line for him. What the two of you have right now is beautiful, and it’s so precious to him that he doesn’t want it to ever end, but to him, your existence is a flicker of treasure in this cruel world. These past 2 months will be his last happy thoughts ever stored in his memory before he dies.

“You don’t understand, Jeno. I can’t let you die, I love you,” you confessed, hoping that your feelings for him would be a sufficient explanation for him.

Jeno cradled his head in both his palms, he knows he’s in the deep end now, and you’re the person he’s drowning in, those three words struck a cord in his heart, and he didn’t want to be separated from you, he could just imagine how painful it’d be for the two of you.

“I love you too, Princess, I do, that’s why I have to let you go, don’t you understand? I can’t bear to see you in pain when I die,” Jeno could see tears streaming down your face as his own are blurred with them as well.

“Don’t say it like you’re sure you’ll die, I’m going to change that,” you didn’t want to argue with him anymore, so you changed back into a bat, and flew back to your chambers.

Jeno thought you wouldn’t be willing to see him anymore after last night’s spaz, but here you were, with his favourite food, glazed doughnuts and fried chicken. He was surprised you remembered, but not surprised that you had forgiven him so quickly, whenever Jeno thinks he’s finally crossed your line, he would always be surprised by the size of your heart.

“I’m sorry for running off like that last night,” you said as you opened the wrappers.

You’ve developed more strength from flying everyday, so as long as your clothes had large pockets, you would be able to bring him more food.

“No, I would’ve been mad if I were you, I shouldn’t have given up on hope like that, I guess being locked up here makes you feel hopeless,” Jeno said as he quickly ate his food, wanting to spend more time talking to you instead.

You curled up next to Jeno, your cold skin sending chills down his back, but he didn’t want to disturb your peaceful rest, you did fly many miles just for him minutes prior, he knows the closet human city won’t be too close by. Jeno held your hand in his clean one as you drew circles on his knee, your cheek laid upon his shoulder as you take in Jeno’s features up close.

Even though the two of you have sat next to each other, being this close was a first, but it felt so right, like Jeno was your missing puzzle piece all along. His warmth was something foreign to you, but it made you addicted to heat, pulling him closer to you, be damned if you burn from it.

“Do you still mean it? About what you said last night,” Jeno asked after finishing his doughnut.

“Which part?” you asked.

“When you said you love me,” Jeno was searching your face for answers, eyes staring into yours.

“Of course. What about you? Did you mean it when you said it back?”

“I love you, and I’ll say it a million more times if you need me to,” Jeno says, pulling you closer into his embrace.

“I love you too, Jeno,” you said before you looked up and kissed him, you were unsure when you kissed him gently, so Jeno pulled you into his lap by your waist, holding you close as he kisses you back with more passion, a hand coming up to cup your cheek, cradling your soft skin in his palm.

You could tell something was wrong with Jeno tonight, he hardly touched the gimbap he had told you he wanted yesterday. You reached out to touch him, but he pushed himself away, backing into the corner of the cell.

“Don’t, I’m sick. You should go,” Jeno says, eyes avoiding yours.

“I want to take care of you, and I wouldn’t get sick, I’m a vampire, remember?” you reminded him, a hand reaching out to the poor boy.

Jeno cursed at himself at the fact that you were immune to many things except sunlight.

“I’m just not feeling well, you should go, I need to rest,” Jeno said, hoping this excuse would suffice you.

You had not flown so far away with a pack of hot gimbap attached to your stomach in bat form and risk getting caught for him to shut you off like that. So you lunged at him, given that you are although not as strong, but your speed was at equivalent level, to feel his forehead and neck.

“You’re burning up. Are you having a fever?” you asked as you stripped off your coat, putting it over him as a blanket, from what you remember, fevers are supposed to make you feel cold.

“I’m not having a fever, just...

Jeno’s words were caught in his throat when he saw you in your thin dress, the weather started to get warmer, but he didn’t expect you to dress so much lesser. He quickly shut his eyes, but it was too late, the image of your cleavage and exposed thighs are burnt into the back of his mind.

“I’m in a rut goddamn it! That’s why I didn’t want you to stay,” Jeno confessed in an outburst.

You looked down at your outfit, forgetting the fact that you hadn’t change out of your nightgown before rushing out to buy him food, since the restaurant closes early tonight. You remember reading about ruts somewhere, that alpha wolves went through ruts now and then, and the only way to relieve a rut was through sexual pleasure.

You took off your shoes and your socks and climbed on Jeno’s tiny cell bed, stripping off your whole dress as you sat cross legged, beckoning him to you. You could see Jeno was fighting against his inner wolf as he shuffled front and back, his eyes closed shut but he could still see your beautiful body etched in his memory, so instead of waiting for him, you walked to him, holding him in your embrace.

“It’s okay, Jeno. You can touch me,” you said, your tone gentle, hoping to coax him to you.

“I-i don’t want to hurt you, Princess, I might not be able to control myself,” Jeno explained.

“It’s fine, the chain is still on, and I’m not porcelain, I would heal even if you do,” you persuaded.

Before you let Jeno have the chance to reply, you kissed him with much fervour, gently guiding his hands onto your body. His touch was gentle at first, but as you deepened the kiss, his inner wolf started showing, it started with rougher touches, his hand reaching towards your butt to grasp at the flesh, satisfied at how full his hand was, then his eyes started turning red, the sign of an alpha.

You quickly unbuttoned Jeno’s shirt as he guided you on the bed, revealing his heavenly muscles to your curious eyes as you palmed at his abs, then slowly travelling south to cup at his obvious erection, a gasp of surprise leaving you as you felt how abnormally big he was, which made Jeno’s ego swell on the spot.

You whimpered as Jeno begin marking your breasts, purple flowers blooming around your nipples as they stood tall, awaiting for his attention. Jeno’s hands begin travelling southwards to your core, noticing that you were already dripping with arousal when he had barely touched you. Jeno takes a nipple into his mouth as he dips a finger inside your wet cavern, making you moan his name aloud.

“You should be thankful this cell door is lined with a thick layer of silver, or everyone would know how much of a whore you are for me,” Jeno said when his mouth let go of your nipple with a pop.

Jeno resumed the sucking and light biting on your other nipple as he adds another finger into your dripping cunt, slipping in snugly next to his middle finger, he tries his best to loosen you up, knowing that without proper foreplay, he would most definitely hurt you. Jeno stops sucking your nipple to come up for air, smirking as he sees how pretty his handiwork is on your skin. He wastes no time before diving to your lower lips, tongue out, looking for your clit, he found it when he felt your legs jump up at the sudden pleasure, a cry of his name falling deliciously from your lips as he starts sucking your clit, slipping a third finger into the mix as your back arches into his touch, legs closing around his head as he continues to thrusts his fingers into you at a rapid pace, his mouth relentless. Your juices a large puddle on his bed, he’s going to enjoy jerking off to that when his rut kicks in again in the morning.

“Jen- Jeno, I’m...close...

Jeno quickly removes his fingers and detaches his mouth, if you came now, you won’t be able to take him later. You could feel tears threatening to escape when you felt your orgasm slipping away.

“Shh, it’s alright, I just want us to cum together,” Jeno said as he strips away his pants, revealing his cock in all its glory. You gulped when you saw how big it was, eyes growing as wide as saucers.

“How is that going to fit?” you asked, still not quite registering the size.

“It’s going to fit, don’t worry,” Jeno said as he coats himself in your juices, shuddering slightly at the contact.

Jeno scans your face one more time to see if you wanted out as he lined himself at your entrance, his hand cupping your cheek.

“If you want to stop, tell me now,” Jeno said, he wants this to be about you as well.

“No, I want you, Jeno, please,” you begged breathlessly.

Jeno starts slipping into you inch by inch, he knew you were a virgin, but god you are so tight, if he wasn’t restricting himself the whole day, he would’ve came halfway. Jeno could feel you tensing up near the end, so he whispered silent encouragements to you, telling you to stop tensing up. Once you relaxed your body, Jeno continued pushing in, the stretch wasn’t as painful as you thought, but it wasn’t a walk in the park either. Jeno ceased all actions when he was fully sheathed inside you, waiting for your signal to move.

You felt your walls opening up to him after a minute or two, the pain turning into pleasure. You’ve never felt so full mentally and physically your whole life, and you crave for more as you told him to move. Jeno started thrusting at a slow shallow pace, letting you adjust to his movements before he speeds up once you started telling him you felt good. Jeno kissed you deeply as he thrusted into you at a faster pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the once quiet cell along with moans of Jeno’s name coming from your mouth like a mantra, but you could sense Jeno was holding himself back, his expressions were an open book to you.

“Jeno... Don’t hold back, ruin me...

When those few words left your mouth, something inside Jeno snapped as he hooked one of your legs onto his shoulder, thrusting back into you at an easily accessible angle, going at an inhumane speed as you screamed his name, the tip of his cock hitting your sensitive spot over and over again with so much force that it made your eyes roll into the back of your head, you couldn’t think straight anymore, all your mind registers is the pleasure inflicted upon your insides as your nails dug into Jeno’s arms, the pain mixing with pleasure only fuels him to chase your highs at an even quicker pace. If you were human you’d be dead by now.

As you neared your high, you could feel the coil in your abdomen threatening to snap as your toes curled from the overwhelming pleasure, your eyes were barely open as your breasts were bouncing every time he thrusts into you, the sight making Jeno drool as he cups one of your breasts into his hand, throwing his head back as his length is being squeezed by your convulsing walls, signaling your high.

When Jeno rubbed rough circles on your clit, you lost it. Your legs shook as you let out a silent scream, tears streaming down your face, you could feel yourself squirting onto Jeno’s length as he lets out a grunt of your name, his cock swelling up inside you before you felt his length painting your walls white. Jeno uses his leftover stamina to ride out your high, before his knot forms and locks him inside you.

You nearly passed out when you were done, but you still felt ribbons of cum ejaculating from Jeno, making you confused.

“Why do you have so much?” you asked, confused by how different he is biologically even though he could fit right in with a vampire.

“I’m sorry, it’s a werewolf thing, and I’m stuck because of the knot,” Jeno explained.

“Oh,” you said, if you were a human you’d be heating up from embarrassment now, you didn’t know having sex with a werewolf means you’d have to cockwarm with him, though the idea doesn’t sound bad at all.

Jeno crashes onto the bed next to you when he stopped cumming, his length still snugly inside of you.

“Tell me when you’re about to leave, we’re going to be stuck with each other for a while,” Jeno said as he cuddles you, the wolf becoming a shy puppy as he tries to hide the blush on his face on the crook of your neck.

“Okay.”

“And thank you, for giving me everything, I love you, Princess,” Jeno said as his eyes threatened to close immediately.

“I love you too, Jeno. Get some rest,” you said as you basked in the warmth of his body.

As two months flew by, Jeno knows he doesn’t have much time before he will be sacrificed in front of his whole pack at the start of the war, Jeno could hear the guards talking about the preparations that the soldiers are making when he strains his ears, using his wolf senses. He’s glad that you aren’t a fighter, that you wouldn’t see him killed in front of you, he hopes that you’ll forget him as time passes by, and that he’ll just fade into a flicker of reminiscence in your heart.

Jeno noticed that you’ve started dressing up more, always coming to see him in puffy gowns. He’s grown a habit of laying on your gown, the many layers of cloth makes your legs feel like pillows as he enjoys the way you run your fingers through his hair. You and Jeno have been intimate ever since that night, connecting to each other mentally and physically made you feel a sense of attachment towards him, even when you aren’t around him, you had this faraway look in your eyes, which made Irene question your focus in your studies.

All was going well until you overheard your father and a council member talking about executing a prisoner, which peaked your curiosity as you hid behind a shelf in the library, eavesdropping their conversation.

“He’ll be executed at the start of the war, where he’ll be beheaded in front of his own pack,” you heard your father say.

“This is the prince we’re talking about, I assume?” the council member replied.

“Yes, Lee Jeno, the one in cell D7,” and your heart drops at that short sentence.

You slammed a hand on your mouth, muffling your gasp of shock. So this is the reason why Jeno was only tortured, but not killed. You had to find a way to save him, but how?

You confided in your close friend who’s the clan’s newest witch, after her master was found killed by a pack of werewolves near clan grounds when the sun was still out. She suggested you the plan of stealing the key to the prisoner’s collars by giving you a potion that could make vampires sleep if they’re in mortal form, which means a bat wouldn’t be affected at all.

You executed the plan in the morning while most people were asleep, you knew where the head of guards were, the person who holds the keys to the collars. Vampires technically didn’t require any sleep, but sleeping makes vampires feel better, although they can willed themselves not to sleep.

You flew into his chambers through the air vents, the hardest part was unscrewing the bottle with your tiny bat paws, and when you got it, you could immediately smell the potion even though it had no effect on you, the guard’s snores immediately got louder, sinking into deeper sleep.

You looked around the small room to see the key resembling a bottle cork that your friend showed you, only to find a bunch hanging from his belt loops. You begrudgingly looked through the keys, looking for D7, and when you found it, you had to move it out of the ring carefully to avoid messing up and pushing out all the keys in accident.

You looped the key on your necklace and retrieved the bottle of leftover potion before flying off, a sense of hope blooming in your heart. Though, you still have to find a way to unlock his cell door which can only be unlocked by vampire blood from the outside.

That night you decided to meet Jeno earlier, having formulated a plan in your head for escaping this place with Jeno. You landed in Jeno’s lap, who was still asleep, startling him.

“Why are you here so early?” Jeno asked as he watches you transform into a person again. You quickly give him your necklace, hiding it under his shirt, for some reason, the charm of your necklace stung him.

“This is the key to free your co-

That’s when a loud bang rang out,  you immediately turned back into a bat, and the doors swung open to reveal the council member who was talking to your father.

“What do we have here?! A bat?! Who are you?! You traitor!” the council member called out.

You tried flying away, but he was too fast, having trained as a fighter before, catching you in his grasp.

“No!”

Jeno tried to attack him, but his collar held him back, the silver on the side burning into his skin.

The man choked your throat, forcing you to turn back into a human before you would be killed in your bat form.

“If this isn’t our youngest princess, useless brats of your father’s. I finally have an excuse to get rid of one of you. I knew I saw something fly in from the pavement just now. Guards! Escort the princess and the prisoner, we haven’t had a public torture and execution in years and I’m thirsty for blood to be spilled,” the man smiled in a crazed way, his eyes hungry for blood.

The guards detached Jeno’s collar from the wall as they guided him out with their silver swords in hand, escaping now would not work, he had to wait. When the guards were holding your arm a little bit too hard, Jeno felt his stomach lurch, yet it didn’t feel like the normal red hot anger he was supposed to feel, it was something different, but it still made him very much angry.

When they had reached outside, he could see the whole coven gathered under the make shift stage. The guards locked him into a giant cage made of silver. Then the evil man walked up the stage with a deranged glint in his eyes as he ordered his men to chain you up for everyone to see, Jeno caught sight of a man who looked somewhat like you, although the two of you had the same eyes, yours were always filled with love and kindness, while your father’s, for now, is filled with livid rage as his angry eyes look at you. Jeno couldn’t see your facial reaction towards your father, but he could see you visibly flinching in fear.

“People, we’re gathered here tonight to learn a valuable lesson. Do you recognise this girl? It’s our sweet little princess. I caught her fraternising with this mutt! In his cell! Tonight, I will commence a punishment for her as we always did for wrongdoers, with the traditional punishment, whipping, then death,” he announced to the citizens, some were shocked, but most were enjoying the drama and excited for the bloodshed.

The man took a long whip from a wooden crate, it was long and thick, with blood stains from previous captors. When the first whip cracked, your scream could be heard from a mile away as Jeno sees your exposed back, a tear in your dress as your skin breaks open to reveal a bloody gnash. For some reason, Jeno could feel a sting in his own stomach, just like the pain he felt in the dungeon, but ten times worse. You shuffled slightly, back hunched as you braced for the second whip. Jeno kneels as he mourns for the pain you’re suffering because of him, the charm of your necklace hitting his skin once again, stinging his skin, that’s when he remembered something you said, key, you called it a key. Key to what?

Jeno shuffles backwards where the guards can’t see him, he didn’t even need to act heartbroken, he already is, and took out your necklace. That’s when he realised, the word you were trying to say was collar, and from the looks of it, he could reach the lock if could just try to act out a scene.

“No, please! Torture me instead!” Jeno shouted, distracting the guards as he cups his ears with his hands, slipping down soon after to insert the key to his neck like he was pulling at his face. When the collar was off, he could feel his powers returning to him.

The people screamed as he transformed into a full fledge wolf, scaring the people, the man who was torturing you was distracted by Jeno’s loud howl as Jeno called on any wolves nearby, causing him to whip a bit of your side instead of back, striking a bit of your stomach, that’s when Jeno felt it, all this time the pain was connected to him because there was a baby in your stomach, his own child.

Jeno could feel a surge of anger inside him as he breaks open the cage, ignoring the sting on his skin. That’s when sees some wolves breaking the vampire’s defenses. Cries of war battle mixed with the snarling and howling as hell broke loose. Jeno immediately chews the man in half, in revenge for hurting the love of his life, he chews off your chains and lets you crawl onto his back.

When he felt your grip on his fur, he ran as fast as he can, attacking anyone who tried to kill you or him, he sent a message to his pack telepathically, telling them to fall back and focus on escaping. They formed a circle around Jeno and you, attacking whoever who came close before leaving the vampire grounds for good. Thankfully, his brothers had on protective armoury, or the silver bullets would’ve hit them if they weren’t careful enough, Jeno by luck, was only scratched by one or two bullets, his wounds healing quickly.

The wolves ran a few more miles before they stopped, putting a safe distance between them and the vampires, transforming back into their mortal forms.

“We attacked them unarmed, or we wouldn’t have been able to leave so easily,” Taeyong, the eldest of the princes said.

“Why did you save her, Jeno?! She isn’t one of us! She’s a bloodsucker!” Ten, his other brother accused.

Jeno lunged at his own brother, eyes blood red, a sneer on his usually kind face.

“Don’t you ever say that about her!” Jeno shouted, his face sat in a sneer.

When you heard the shouting, you sat up, but before you could reach up and stop them, you felt a wave of dizziness taking over you.

“She’s losing too much blood, she needs blood!” one of the members of the pack, Yuta said.

Jeno knocks over Ten, and rushes to your side, propping you up to meet his neck.

“It’s okay, Princess. Just drink,” tugging down his shirt for you to bite.

“No... I can’t, you’re hurt,” you said, weakly pushing Jeno away from you with no avail.

“It’s fine, I healed, you just need to drink a bit more for your body to start healing,” Jeno reassured you.

The others watch silently as you fed, your fangs piercing Jeno’s neck as he winces slightly from the sharp fangs. When you were done, your face wasn’t as ghostly anymore, the wounds on your back healing as you fall into peaceful slumber.

Jeno stands up to face his brothers and pack members again.

“I love her even though she’s a vampire, she’s not like them and she risked her life to show me kindness as I was trapped there. I will leave the pack if you want me to,” Jeno said determinedly, he’s not going to leave you when you’ve been nothing but good to him.

“No you’re not, Jeno. We’re brothers and we stick together, right Ten?” Taeyong said, ever the eldest being the wise one.

Ten only nodded, facing down, observing you.

“She’s pregnant isn’t she? I can feel a life inside her, that’s how you had the surge of power to break out,” Jeno’s closest brother, Mark asked.

“Yeah, I can’t leave her or our child, it’s my responsibility now,” Jeno said, making up his mind.

“Do you think it’s a vampire or a werewolf, Taeyong hyung?” Mark asked.

“I don’t know, all we can do is wait and find out, but whichever the child ends up to be, the baby will still be one of us now. Alright guys?” Taeyong asks, looking around to see if anyone wants to question his authority.

The whole pack muttered agreements, they transformed back into wolves later, choosing to run over waiting for Johnny and his van, leaving Jeno, Mark, Taeyong, and you.

“Were you guys on stand by tonight?” Jeno asked.

“Yeah, we were scouting for many days now, no brother gets left behind, remember?” Mark said as he wraps his brother in a hug, feeling grateful that he’s okay.

“Our Jeno’s all grown up isn’t he? I can’t believe you’re going to be a father soon,” Taeyong gushed.

5 months later...

“I told you the mountains are beautiful,” Jeno said as he held you close to him.

“Even in the morning,” even in the morning, you finished his sentence for him.

“Who knew our baby would’ve given you the immunity to sun. I remember how much you scared me when you first walked out,” Jeno said, thinking back to the time when you had experimented eating at first, then sun.

“We can finally walk hand in hand under the sun now, together,” you said, a peaceful smile on your face, no more running, no more hiding.

“Together,” Jeno said as he hugs you closer, a hand laying on your growing bump, a blossom of love coming to the two of you soon.

The end.

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Nine)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) mentions of sex, vaginal fingering, masturbation, cum eating, choking.

Notes: Sorry it’s late! But here is chapter 9! Next chapter things start to get interesting again hehe. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

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“Kim Taehyung, huh?” Ellie circles around the man like a god damn vulture. She inspects him carefully, her eyes raking his body over and over. “Yeah.” She stops, looks him up and down one more time and nods her head approvingly. “He’s hot as fuck.”

“Ellie…” you whine, “Can you please at least try to act normal?”

Ellie brings her cigarette to her lips, inhaling the poison before blowing it out. “Nah.”

Taehyung looks at you with wide eyes, his amused smile growing wide and taking over his face. His eyes then meet your sisters and he bows his head slightly and smirks to himself.

“Nice to meet you Ellie.” He gets out before you can say anything else.

“Mom’s going to hate this, you know?” Ellie takes another drag of her cigarette, “Going to Korea for 3 weeks? Taking a leave of absence from work? Dude going to another fucking country, girl you are crazy.” Ellie laughs, but she approves.

“Why do I even have to tell her?” you can’t help but pout. You admit your mother can be…something else.

“Are you serious y/n?” Ellie looks at you with pinched brows, “You went missing for 8 months and now you want to disappear for another 3 weeks? Without her knowing? Are you trying to kill her?”

“I guess you have a point—”

“—I’m meeting your parents, y/n.” Taehyung cuts in, walking closer to your side. You three are standing outside your apartment building where you two met Ellie. It’s the morning of Taehyung’s flight but he is missing it.

“You are what now?” you ask totally off guard.

“Ellie can you set up a time and place for us to meet them? I’m afraid y/n will try to make an excuse.” He sighs out, “Please.”

Ellie raises a brow, impressed at how straight forward Taehyung seems to be. She pulls out her phone and dials for your dad.

“Taehyung…” you look over at him and he only stares at you with hard eyes. He’s mad at you. As he should be, you think.

“I want to meet them, I think it is… important.” He breathes out, “Don’t you?”

You nibble on your lips as you think, you even mumble some nonsense Taehyung can’t understand before you finally nod your head.

“Okay.” You agree shyly, “If you want to.”

“You realize you will be meeting my parents too, right?” Taehyung walks closer to you, “And all of my friends.”

“What? Even Hana?” You snap, “Joy.”

“y/n…” Taehyung warns in a low voice. “Don’t be that way.”

“Don’t be that way?” You whisper shout, trying to keep your voice somewhat down so Ellie can’t hear you as well as she has her phone to her ear.

“Don’t be that way? You fucked another girl, Taehyung.”

“Is that fair, y/n? You had no intention of ever talking to me again.” Taehyung bites, “You are being so fucking unfair.” His eyes squeeze shut as he tries to calm down. “Fuck.”

Your eyes look up and you scan the sky. It’s cloudy today, almost looks like it could rain but it probably won’t. It just tricks you into thinking it might, kind of feels like your mood.

“Trouble in paradise already?” Ellie brings the phone down a bit to speak to you two. “Dad isn’t answering, I’ll try mom.” She says, bringing the phone back to her ear.

You huff out a short, frustrated breath as you nod your head towards your sister. You can’t even look at Taehyung right now, you feel betrayed over Hana but also you feel guilty because he is right. You are being so fucking unfair. And also this begs the question…did you have no intention of ever talking to him again?

You push that thought away as you stare at your sister, watching her expectantly as she waits for your mom to answer the phone.

“y/n.” Taehyung finally opens his eyes and gazes down at you, “Follow me.”

“Taehyung, no—”

“Now.” His voice expresses the deepest parts of the sea, the depth so intimidating. Your eyes slide to the side as you release a few shaky breaths. You mumble a weak ‘okay’ and follow him a few feet to the side, walking towards the stairs to your apartment building.

“Let’s try to get along.” He sighs, his hands at his sides until he’s reaching up to drag a hand down his tired face. “For both our sake’s.”

“Are you forcing yourself to be nice to me?” you ask, a bite in your tone and Taehyung looks down at you with his cold, intimidating stare.

“Mostly.” He comments plainly and you feel your heart pinch.

“Why even bother? Why force yourself if you hate me?” You find the courage to look into his eyes and he narrows his at you.

“I don’t hate you. I’m fucking pissed at you.” He begins, “I’m allowed to be hurt and act accordingly.” He breathes out heavily, “Don’t you think?” he challenges you.

“Okay, okay.” You roll your eyes. “I-“

“Don’t get a fucking attitude either, I’m the one who is mad here.” Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest. “If I were you I would be working on your apologies.”

You feel like a child being scolded and it infuriates you. He is treating you like a god damn kid and you can’t help but feel like you probably deserve it.

“Okay, Taehyung.” You slump your shoulders slightly, “I understand…”

Taehyung’s hand finds itself in your hair, his fingers sliding down to play with the ends.

“Good girl.” He praises with a smug smile.

You are upset but hearing him call you a good girl has your stomach doing flips. You two have barely touched the other since you have seen him, he has kept his distance and you are too nervous to make the first move. Last night he slept on your couch…yeah, he didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed as you. At least he stayed with you though and not that dingy hotel.

You can’t help but feel like the miles your home and his home had you apart feels like nothing compared to the distance between you two now. He says he loves you and wants to make this work but he can barely look at you and it is painfully obvious. He’s hurt, so hurt. He isn’t being shy about how hurt and disappointed he is and it’s hard to swallow.

Taehyung hasn’t made many attempts to be closer to you, in fact, it seems like he is going out of his way to not be close to you. Which only causes you to sink deeper and deeper into your hole of self-pity. Why did he say he wants this to work yet he is acting the way he is?

“I don’t hate you. I’m fucking pissed at you.” He begins, “I’m allowed to be hurt and act accordingly.” He breathes out heavily, “Don’t you think?”

Right. He has every right to be acting the way he is. He is allowed to be hurt and you shouldn’t turn this around to make yourself the victim here, when it’s clear here on who should be upset.

But the thought of Taehyung sleeping with someone who isn’t you makes you fucking furious but also depressed as hell. He couldn’t last 6 months without sticking his dick in someone else?

Then you remember that in his mind you had no intention of ever talking or seeing him again. Truthfully, you don’t know if he is wrong about that. It’s possible you really weren’t ever going to reach out. You’re the worst.

You don’t even know what Taehyung went through while being without you but the empty look in his dark, chocolate eyes tells you it was not pretty. He hasn’t opened up about it but it’s not like you two really have found the time or space to discuss. You have to respect the fact that he wants space, that he wants distance, that he wants to feel his emotions even if they are negative. He’s allowed to feel his emotions, y/n.

“Mom said her and dad can meet us down town at that one restaurant you like y/n…with the pretty drapes.” Ellie walks up to you and Taehyung. “They’ll be here this evening. Mom and dad are excited to meet you Taehyung.”

“Ah, really?” Taehyung asks Ellie while his gaze remains on you. “Me too.”

Ellie looks between you two and awkwardly nods her head. “Okay, I should get going but I will see you guys this evening.”

“Sounds good…” You respond to her, your eyes finally leaving Taehyung’s as you give your attention to you sister. “Send me a text when you are on your way to the restaurant.”

“Will do.” She leans in, hugging you quickly and leaving a kiss on your cheek. “See you two tonight.” She pulls back and faces Taehyung giving him a small wave then she if off to her car leaving you and Taehyung.

“Should we head inside?” you ask quietly, swinging your arms at your sides. “I can make you some pancakes?” you offer shyly and Taehyung frowns. Fucking frowns.

“I kind of ate pancakes almost every day,” He admits, “Oh!” he lights up, “Do you know how to make French toast?”

Your lips curve upward into a small smile, “Yes, Tae. I can make you some French toast, if that’s what you would rather have.”

“Let’s go inside.” He gestures towards the stairs and you follow closely behind him. You two walk down a hall until he is stopped at your front door, you run into his back and stumble back.

“Careful.” He whispers, “Don’t want you falling.” He reaches for the knob and opens the door, walking inside. You follow him, closing the door behind you and taking your shoes off.

~

“I knew yours would taste even better. You just have a way with breakfast food, did you know that?” Taehyung stuffs his face with another slice of the French toast you whipped up. You can’t help but giggle as you watch him, he looks so invested in this last piece of French toast like he wants to take his time with it so it’ll never end.

“Hey, my cooking elsewhere has improved!” you whine.

“When we get to Korea,” Taehyung begins, his eyes finding yours. “I want to show you some dishes I like and maybe we can learn to cook them together.”

“Mine will never be as good as your moms, let’s get that out there right now.” You laugh and Taehyung nods his head like he agrees with you, you playfully swat his arm across the table.

“But yours can be second best. Even if you aren’t any good, I’ll still eat it.” He grins at you and you roll your eyes.

“You’ll eat my bad cooking?”

“Only because I …” Taehyung’s grin gets wiped off his face before he can even finish that sentence. “Because I…love you.” He says more quietly, now avoiding your gaze.

“Right…” you feel your pinching heart want to give up on you, it hurts in your chest.

Taehyung looks at you, he doesn’t really know what to say at this point. He doesn’t know how to act like he wants to. He’s too hurt. But he has to try. Or else he isn’t sure what will come from the two of you.

“I do love you.” He sighs out, “So much.” He reaches across the table and takes your hand in his and he feels himself grow weaker and weaker. “But I do want to take this slow. We have a lot to learn about one another now that we are in reality again. We aren’t in our own bubble like how we were.”

You take your bottom lip between your teeth and start nibbling nervously. Take it slow how?

“Am I allowed to hug you? Kiss you?” you ask, almost ashamed that you had to ask something like that.

“I’m not feeling all too affectionate…” Taehyung admits softly, “But,” he bites his own lips as he looks down at your hands. “I could take a hug right now.”

You pull your hand away from his and draw it towards your body, you intertwine your fingers together in your lap and sigh out. Your eyes on your hands, your head hanging low.

“Are you sure?” you hear your voice crack and you want to disappear.

“Come here baby.” Taehyung stands from his chair and waits for you expectantly. “Come hug me.” He says, his voice nice and low like a hum.

You slowly rise from your chair and without looking at him you inch closer and closer until he’s pulling you in by the arms.

He hates this almost as much as you do. Maybe even more. He thought he would come here, find you and everything would be light and smooth but instead it has proven to be hard, harder than he imagined.

“Hug me back.” He orders softly, dragging your arms to wrap around his waist. “And hold me tightly.”

You circle your arms around his waist and walk closer until your head is being shoved into his chest. You can smell him like this, his scent filling your nostrils and creating a long, string of memories linked with his scent. Suddenly, you are recalling every moment you spent like this. Every moment you ever inhaled him, every moment you felt his scent linger on your own body.

You feel your chest tightening and your throat burning, you try to speak but you can’t. You’re too lost in the scent of Taehyung, too lost to think, your mind fuzzy and tricking you. It says he wants you, needs you, loves you. And you just don’t know how true that is. You feel your cheeks wet from the few tears that are now slipping out of your eyes, you sniffle into his chest and you feel Taehyung tense beneath you.

“Don’t cry.” He says as soft as he can, “Babe…” he starts rubbing your back, his large hand touching you in a way that makes you start to cry harder.

“y/n.” He then hugs you tighter, pulling you in impossibly close.

“I’m just so…so…sorry…” You choke out, sniffling harder now. Taehyung releases a long breath, closing his eyes as he pulls you in flush against him.

“I know…” he keeps his eyes closed as he thinks on what to say. But he comes up short, he just really doesn’t know what to tell you right now.

“You hate me.” You cry harder into his chest and Taehyung finally shoots his eyes open and begins shaking his head.

“I don’t hate you…” he breathes out, “I told you already. I’m just upset. And it’s going to take some time—”

“How much time?”

“y/n, I don’t know.” He bunches the material of your shirt in his hands as he tries to calm his frustrations. “I’m hurt. You really didn’t…you really were going to never talk to me again…like those 8 months we spent together meant nothing to you.”

“That’s not true.” You sob. “I think eventually—”

“When? 10 years from now? You think I would have waited forever?” he mutters.

“Apparently not. You couldn’t even wait 6 months to get your dick wet.” You pull back from him, your eyes puffy from the tears.

“Really y/n?” He steps back from you, “It didn’t mean anything. I was so fucking broken when that happened.”

“Oh? And her pussy was the glue to put you back?” you snap. You watch as Taehyung grows angry, the scowl on his face almost scaring you.

“You are the most unfair fucking person.” He spits out, “Yeah, I fucked Hana. But we aren’t like that, we’re just friends.”

“I don’t want you to be friends with a girl you’ve fucked!” you admit between bated breathes, “Who says it won’t happen again?”

“Me. I say that.” Taehyung growls, “I have no interest in Hana…I was…I was in a really dark place.” He tries to calm himself, “Really dark place.”

“How dark?” you ask, making him feel interrogated.

“Would go to sleep never wanting to wake up.” He says with a straight face and you feel yourself grow guilty. You did that to him. It’s your fault. How do you make up for that?

“Fuck.” You look down at your feet, “I’m so sorry Tae…”

“Doesn’t matter. What matters to me right now is that you understand I don’t want Hana. I obviously want you. I came all the way here to make this work with you.” He huffs out, his eyes boring holes into the top of your bowing head.

“Tell me you understand or it’s going to be that much more work to make this happen.” Taehyung steps closer to you, reaching for your hand.

“We have a lot to work through y/n. This isn’t the island anymore. This is both of our real lives and we’re intertwining them. At least I want to.” His thumb starts rubbing your skin and you feel yourself grow warm. You finally lift your head and gaze into his dark, dark eyes. He is staring at you with so much intensity that you automatically feel intimidated.

“Tell me you will be patient. Tell me you want this. Fuck, tell me you love me.” Taehyung keeps his deep voice low, but you can hear the frustration throughout his words.

“I love you.” You stumble forward until you are embracing him again. “I love you so much.” You begin to cry again, much more softly this time. “I will do anything to make sure this works Taehyung.”

Taehyung can’t help but smile a little, he places a kiss to the top of your head and he sniffs you. Same shampoo as what you had on the island. He feels his eyes sting a bit, the memories of the island beginning to haunt him.

“Anything?” he whispers and you nod your head frantically.

“Let my mom teach you how to make japchae. Then make it for me.”

“You’ll eat it even if it’s bad?”

“Even if it’s bad.”

~~~~~~~

“Very good to meet you, Taehyung.” Your mother drops her hand from his as she eyes him over. “You really spent every day with our y/n? For 8 months? Aren’t you tired of her?” she half jokes.

“I could never.” He replies smoothly. “And it’s also nice meeting you Mr. y/L/n” Taehyung reaches out to shake your dads hand when your father takes it but pulls him in for a tight hug.

“You took care of y/n all that time…” Your dad hugs Taehyung gratefully, taking a moment before he pulls back. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“She took care of me too.” Taehyung smiles as your dad pulls away from him. “Always made me breakfast.” He teases, stealing a glance at you. You are standing here next to him with an awkward smile on your face.

“It wasn’t much…” you say quietly. “Anyway, we should go get our table.”

“I got it!” Ellie comes up to you four, “Let’s go.”

You all follow Ellie to a table for 6. You guys occupy 5 of those spots, your mother uses the extra chair for her purse. The server sets down your menus and takes out his little notepad to take down your drink orders.

A sweet tea for your mother, a coke for your father, waters for both you and Taehyung and a vodka sprite for your sister. You give her a look of amusement before you stop your server from leaving and ordering your own spiked drink.

“Careful girls.” Your mother warns. “There’s no need to get drunk.”

“Oh its one drink mother.” You sister scoffs. “Plus I think y/n could use it.”

“And why is that?” Your dad suddenly becomes interested in your conversation. “Is everything okay? How is work going? Are you making friends?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” You wave him off, “It’s just…this dinner serves two purposes.” You admit, your eyes darting all across the room.

“Which are?” your mom narrows her eyes at you. “I know one is to meet your little boyfriend. But what’s the other?”

Boyfriend? Is Taehyung your boyfriend? You guys haven’t discussed it. You only said you two will make it work but what all does that mean?

“Well…” you begin to feel small under your mothers gaze. “I am….” You find it hard to gather the words and the courage to finish your sentence. You feel like the lights above you are too bright, too hot and causing you to sweat slightly.

Suddenly, you feel Taehyung’s large hand caressing and squeezing your thigh. Your head whips up to face him and he is already staring at you with a small smile.

“She’s coming back with me to Korea.” Taehyung states while he continues to look at you, finally, he turns his head to face your parents.

Your mother quite literally chokes on her spit, her eyes expanding twice their size as she looks at the two of you. Your dad rubs her back, trying to calm her.

“She’s what now?” You mother coughs out, “I don’t think I heard that right.”

Your sister looks between the four of you with a wide grin on her face.

“Oh mother dearest…” Elli sings out. “I think you did hear that right.”

“You’re …you’re moving to Korea?”

“Yes.” Ellie jumps in but you twist your head to look at her disapprovingly.

“No…no, just going to visit.” You finally find the courage to say. “For three weeks.”

Your mother scrunches her face up, a look of disappointment on her face.

“y/n. You just started a new job. Don’t you think this is rather irresponsible?”

“It’s only for three weeks darling.” Your dad finally says something. “Right y/n?”

You nibble on your bottom lip and nod your head a few times.

“For now.” Taehyung cuts in. His hand continues to rub your thigh and you hate to admit how much feeling his hand on your thigh makes you feel so good.

“Wait.” You snap out of your thoughts, “What do you mean ‘for now’, huh?”

Taehyung looks down at the table, about to respond to you when the server comes back with your drinks.

“Your tea mam…” the server sets down the tea in front of your mother and she barely reacts. She only blinks at you and Taehyung, her face gone pale.

“Yes, Taehyung.” She starts, “What do you mean for now?”

Taehyung opens his mouth but closes it just as quickly. He turns to face you and he awkwardly smiles.

“I feel like that’s something we have to talk about…just me and you.”

“If it’s something just us to discuss then why bring it up in front of my parents?” You grit out nervously.

“Right…sorry.” Taehyung mumbles, he reaches for his water that the server just set down. “You’re in this right?” He asks before taking a sip of his water. “With me?”

You blink at him a few times before glancing at your parents, they look at you with curiosity. Then your eyes find your sisters who is drinking her vodka sprite with a smug smile.

“Yeah y/n.” Ellie takes a few sips. “Are you in this?” Then you feel her kick your foot with hers.

“Y-Yes.” You say, a bit shy. But Taehyung finds himself relaxing.

“Then, for now.” He repeats himself from earlier, “One day we will live together, don’t you think? But don’t worry it’s up for debate where.”

“L-Live together?” you get out awkwardly.

“If you remember correctly y/n, it’s not like we haven’t lived together before.” He squeezes your thigh. “Don’t worry it’s something we will get to…slowly.”

You nod your head in understanding and face your parents. You exhale a deep breath and find your mothers eyes.

“I will be leaving tomorrow for 3 weeks. Taehyung and I…” Your eyes slide to your side where Taehyung is sitting. “We have a lot to work through. I’m sure you can be understanding of our situation.”

“Of course sweetheart.” Your dad smiles at you, but your mother is shaking her head.

“You didn’t even want to reach out to him? You think you can enter a relationship when you didn’t even want to talk to him?” Your mother snaps at you. She crushes the napkin in her fists as she speaks. “You can’t handle this y/n.” she looks at you with cold eyes.

“Mom—”

“She can.” Taehyung cuts in, “She is stronger than you give her credit for Mrs. y/l/n.”

Your mother scoffs at this, she throws her napkin in her lap and shakes her head.

“You don’t know her then. Taehyung.”

You feel yourself grow smaller and smaller as your mother continues to bash you. You try to even your breathing but her words carry weight.

“Jesus Christ, mother.” Ellie cuts in. “Do you even know the first thing there is to know about y/n?”

“I think I know my daughter well enough that when there is the first sign of something not working she runs away.”

“So what?” Taehyung growls. “So I am supposed to abandon her because she has personal shit to work through?”

“Tae…” you mumble weakly, “Let’s just go…”

Your sister finishes her drink and slams it down on the table, she looks at you with eyes on fire.

“Really y/n? Just going to prove her point like that?” Ellie hardens her expression as she stares at you waiting for your reply.

You feel weak. But your sister is right. You can’t let your mother win every time.

“Listen, you can agree or disagree but I am going.” You look your mother right in the eye. “I love him. And we have a lot to work through if we want this.” You say honestly. “So, whether you guys agree or not, I am going.”

“Of course we agree.” Your dad continues to rub your mothers back. “Your mom is just worried about you.”

“I’ll return home in three weeks.” You say confidently until you notice your mother’s eyes glossed over.

“Will you though? I thought I lost you. Now you want to disappear again.” Your mom says quietly. “He’s the reason you were gone for 8 months.” She points at Taehyung. “And now he wants to steal you away again.”

You pinch your brows together and try to breath evenly as your mom’s words sink in. She blames Taehyung for the island?

“It’s not his fault for the island mom…” you look between her and your sister, looking for answers. Ellie just shrugs.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, right?” your mother spits out. “Just do what you want y/n.”

“I will?” you say slowly. “That’s kind of the whole point.”

“You leave tomorrow?” Your father asks, still rubbing your mothers back.

“Flight is at 10 am.” You respond, “I promise I will be back.”

“She will come back.” Taehyung says softly, the guilt evident in his voice. “You can trust me to take care of her.”

“Okay, then that’s all settled!” Your dad claps his hands together. “Should we order some food? You kids get what you want, we’re paying tonight.”

~~~~

“Do you want to take a shower…with me?” Your timid voice shakes a little as you ask Taehyung if he wants to you know, fucking shower with you.

His eyes rake over your body, you are wearing just a towel and his eyes widen at the sight. Your skin looks so soft, so delectable. Your towel barely covering the entirety of your breasts and it doesn’t help how short it is, your thighs so exposed. Your hair falls over your shoulders and your collarbone begs to be kissed.

Taehyung shakes these thoughts from his mind and looks up at you from his spot on the couch.

“I can’t…” he says slowly, “I am serious about going slow.”

“You don’t have to fuck me.” You put it bluntly. “I just miss you. Want to be close to you.”

“You won’t tempt me?” he rises from the sofa. “The most you are allowed to touch me is washing my hair.” He states.

“Okay.” You agree quickly. “Come shower with me.” You reach for his hand and he immediately wraps his fingers around yours, making you get all warm and gooey inside.

“I missed you too.” He whispers, following you into the bathroom. “Missed you so much.”

You take a step away from him and gesture for him to take off his clothes. He raises a brow at you and lifts his hands up.

“Take my clothes off for me.” He lightly teases, “But don’t let your hands linger.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes but you do as he says. You pull his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor and then your hands go to his pants. Your fingers quickly try to slide down his zipper and drag his jeans down leg by leg. He kicks them off to the side as you reach for the waistband of his briefs. You lick your lips as you slowly slide them down his legs, his cock springing free. He isn’t hard, not that hard at least, but his size is still impressive.

“Turn the water on babe.” He points towards the shower, “And lose the towel.”

You let the towel drop to the floor as you walk towards your shower, Taehyung watches your ass as you walk. He can’t help but bite down on his plump bottom lip, just watching you. He wishes he could take you by the hair, bend you over and fuck you for hours. But he’s afraid at this point the only sex he can have with you is angry, hate sex. And he wants his first time with you again to be full of love and nothing but.

“Make the water nice and warm.” He softly commands.

You twist the knob, making the water run in hot streams. It warms up quickly so you grab Taehyung’s hand and lead him into the shower.

The water stings a bit as it hits your back but you throw your head back anyway and let it wash over you fully.

“Shampoo.” You tell Taehyung and he is already squeezing it into his hand. You walk forward until you are touching Taehyung, chest to chest. He gulps when he feels your nipples grazing his skin.

“Close your eyes.” He commands. “I’m going to wash your hair now.” He massages your head tenderly, your hair turning into a soapy mess. “Rinse now.” He pushes you back until you are back under water.

This continues on, he rubs conditioner in your hair and then takes your washrag and pumps some body wash into it.

“Going to clean you.” He says lowly, “Is that okay?”

“Mhm.” You swallow down your nerves and agree to him touching you. First he moves your hair back and starts at your shoulders. He scrubs them slowly, the soap and water falling down your chest and your arms. Taehyung follows the soap, his eyes traveling all down your body.

“Have you lost weight?” he asks, slightly concerned.

You feel yourself blush.

“Maybe a little.”

“Why?”

“You weren’t the only one going through a hard time, Tae.”

Taehyung nods his head slowly, his hand lowering itself until he is scrubbing at your stomach. He watches all the bubbles form on your skin and he actually feels jealous over fucking bubbles. He gulps, thinking about how these bubbles get to slide down your stomach, how they get to travel down to your pussy.

“y/n…” Taehyung’s deep voice startles you, you are so lost in the way he cleans you. You feel yourself grow more and more frustrated by the way he touches you and you know it will go nowhere.

“Yes?” you say breathlessly. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to clean…” he clears his throat. “Everywhere.” He warns.

You feel your knees go weak at his words, you try your hardest not to rub your thighs together but you can’t help it.

“Okay.” You murmur.

Taehyung’s hands glides down your lower stomach, making you tense. Then his fingers find your pussy and he is rubbing his fingers over it, nice and slow.

“Did you fuck anyone else?” his low voice asks you.

“N-No.” you shake your head, your knees starting to shake from how weak you are.

Taehyung’s fingers find your clit and he starts rubbing it. You fall forward a little, your head resting on Taehyung’s shoulder as he feels you.

“You didn’t?” He asks again, his deep voice rumbling. “You’re sure?” He starts rubbing faster.

“I promise, Taehyung.” You moan into his shoulder. “You’re the only one I have been with.”

“Then I’ll reward you.” He whispers, “With my fingers.”

His fingers slide down to your hole and he inserts not one, but two fingers into your lonely, desperate cunt.

“Did you ever touch yourself?” he breathes out roughly. “And think of me?”

“Yes.” You pant, “All the time.”

His fingers start thrusting in and out of you quickly. They are so long, so beautiful. You have missed his fingers so much, it’s ridiculous.

“You only came to the thought me?” His breaths are erratic as he speaks. “Because for me, I only thought of you.”

“Yes Tae, yes.”

He finally adds in a third finger, making you feel fuller and fuller. He curls his fingers making you tense, he starts scissoring his fingers, they brush against your special spots and you groan out loud. There’s no way you are lasting another 30 seconds.

“Please let me touch you.” You start to beg, but Taehyung just thrusts his fingers in and out of you faster and harder.

“Please.” You beg again, you squeeze his shoulders with your hands. “I have missed you so much, need to touch you.”

“No.” Taehyung gets out roughly, “No…”

His other hands fingers finds your clit again and starts focusing his energy there, he rubs your clits so expertly that your knees finally give out on you as you start coming all over his hands.

“Ahhhh. Fuck,” your erratic breaths hit the skin of his shoulder as you come undone. “Fuck…” you bite down on his shoulder. Taehyung isn’t much better, his own breaths uneven.

“I don’t deserve you.” Taehyung whispers in your ear. “You’re too good for me.”

“I’m the one who is undeserving.” You admit softly as you steady your breaths. “Please tell me you will sleep with me tonight…in my bed, I mean.”

“Maybe.”

~

“Please come to bed with me, Tae.” You stand over him as he lays on the couch. “I promise to keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t trust myself.” He says with his hands behind his head, eyes closed.

“Why are…why are you stopping yourself from being affectionate with me? Why wouldn’t you let me touch you?” you squat down next to him, your face now closer to his.

“Because I don’t deserve you. To be touched by you.” He says softly. “You didn’t sleep with anyone else.” He murmurs, “You stayed loyal to me, despite not knowing when you would see me. But I…” he opens his eyes, he turns his head to face you. “But I did.”

You feel your stomach twist and turn, your heart falling and falling deep into your lower stomach. Hana.

“Why did you do it?” You finally ask, “Why did you feel the need to sleep with her?”

“I was in a dark place, y/n.” Taehyung groans, “The girl I was in love with…am in love with…wanted nothing to do with me.” He looks at you with hard eyes.

“But I hate myself for it.” He admits, “I should have found you sooner, I should have—”

“Tae.” You cut him off before he gets too choked up. “Let’s talk properly. From the beginning.”

“The beginning?” he blinks at you. “Ah. The island. Our fight before we got separated.”

“Yes…” you sit down on the floor, crossing your legs. “I am so sorry. I loved you then just like how I love you now.” You take a deep breath. “My mom isn’t so wrong about me. I ran away when things got hard, or got complicated.” You chuckle bitterly. “But I didn’t think I would wake up and find you to be gone from me, my life.”

“I know…” Taehyung whispers.

“But…” you begin again, “It gives me a whole new appreciation for goodbyes. I should have never let us go to sleep like that, in the middle of a fight, and I will never let that happen again.”

“y/n…” He sits up from his place on the couch and pats the spot next to him, you get up and sit down on the sofa.

“I don’t think the company forced us to have feelings for one another. Because here I am in the real world, so ridiculously in love with you.” you say a bit quietly. “I should have trusted you. Trusted myself. I promise you Taehyung, I will never doubt you again. So tell me how you feel about me and I will believe every word…even if it isn’t all positive.”

Taehyung nods his head as he stares at his feet, his hand goes to your thigh and he starts rubbing it soothingly.

“I love you.” He says after a few moments of silence, “But I am still really hurt over everything. A big part of me keeps telling me you were never going to reach out. That part of me terrorizes me. It screams at me that you don’t actually love me.” He admits lowly, “But hearing you now…it helps.” He says, still rubbing your thigh. “I think I believe in you. Even if you don’t believe in yourself…I really think you would have reached out.” He tells himself more than you. “I have to believe that.” He closes his eyes and is silent for a few more moments.

“Taehyung—”

“Tell me I’m right.” He says desperately. “Just tell me I am right.”

“You’re right.” You say even if you aren’t so sure yourself. “You’re right, babe.”

“You know I don’t play games and I like for everything to be out in the open so I am going to tell you all of my intentions.” Taehyung opens his eyes to look at you.

“Okay.” You gulp.

“I love you and only you.” He begins. “I want this to work for the long run. I want you to meet my family, meet my friends and I want to see how everything goes.” He squeezes your knee. “I’m hoping the visit goes amazing so we can discuss the next steps.”

“Which are?”

“I don’t want to do long distance, y/n…” he brings his hand back to his own body, “I want to live closer to you. Even if that means I have to move here but honestly I think you will really like it in Korea…”

“You want to move together? Like, live together?”

“You already know we can do it. We make pretty good roommates.” He teases, bumping his shoulder into yours.

“Okay, true…”

“Then you realize the things that come after that right?” he says with a smirk on his face. “But first, let’s take these next three weeks as slow as possible. Let’s get to know one another all over again. To see if this really works outside the island.”

“Why do I feel like you are testing me?” you ask with a frown but Taehyung gives you a stern look and shakes his head.

“You’re technically testing me too.” He says, “We need to see if this works.”

“Okay, I get it.”

“I want to officially take you out. On a real date.” He whispers, “Would you like that?”

You feel your blush deepening on your face, your hand goes to your cheek just to feel how warm it is.

“Yes.” You mumble.

“Need to hear you loud and clear baby.”

“Yes.” You say a bit louder and Taehyung’s hand goes back to your thigh, he starts rubbing up and down your leg.

“That’s my good girl.” He leans in to kiss the side of your neck and you feel your whole body go tense under his lips touching your skin.

“Taehyung…” you moan out, closing your eyes. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” He whispers into your neck, placing another kiss then he leans away. “Go to bed.” His deep voice echoes.

“Come with me.”

“Not yet baby.”

You slump your shoulders in disappointment. Why is he being so difficult?

“Just to sleep.”

“I can’t control myself around you y/n. Please respect my decision.” He ushers you to stand him so he can lay back down on the couch. You stand up and hover over him for a moment.

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” you asks timidly. Taehyung gnaws on his lips before he is waving you off.

“Please just go to sleep.” He somewhat begs. “I’ll see you in the morning, make sure you’re all packed.”

~~~~~

You are nervous. Nervous as fuck, actually. You and Taehyung just arrived in Korea and even the air is different. You can’t believe you’re actually here, you can’t believe you really got on that plane and flew all the way to Taehyung’s home—the place you were so curious about when you first met him.

Taehyung seems different. Like, being home is showing a whole new side of him. He looks happy, giddy even. He holds your hand tightly as you both walk the streets with your luggage. You two got dropped off from your taxi a couple blocks away from his apartment so he could show you some shops he loves to go to.

“This bar here is quite popular between my friends and I.” he points at a little bar and you just nod your head.

“Looks nice.” You say with starry eyes. “Everything looks nice, actually.”

“We will be going there tomorrow night when we meet up with everyone. My friends-that is.” He squeezes your hand. “Tonight we can go to my parent’s house for dinner. How’s that sound?”

“Already?” you look down at your shoes as you walk. “I thought we could just relax today…”

“It’s like 8 in the morning. There’s plenty of time for a nap.” He comments nonchalantly. “Look, I’m just really excited for you to meet everyone. I understand though…if you want to take a few days…”

“No, no. It’s okay.” You shake your head, you two continue walking until he stops, making you stop.

“We’re here. My apartment.” He points up at the building and you take a deep breath.

“Are you going to make me sleep on the couch?” you half joke and he pulls you into his side, hugging you.

“I haven’t decided yet.” He teases.

You both walk up to his apartment and enter the small place—you say small, but it is bigger than your place and much nicer. How does Taehyung afford this?

“My parents help out…” he admits as if reading your mind. “That’s how I got such a nice place.”

“Ah I see. That’s great!”

“Ever since the island my dad has been super supportive of my music, always just wanting the best for me.” He grins sheepishly. “It’s different but it’s nice.”

“I’m happy for you…I can’t wait to meet your parents.” You place your suitcase and backpack down on the floor, Taehyung does the same.

“Let me give you a tour.” He smiles, taking your hand.

You follow him around as he shows you his apartment, you two take a moment longer in his bedroom. You slide your fingers against his beds blanket, and admire the art on his walls.

“Yes, you will be sleeping in here.” He huffs out dramatically, “I haven’t decided where I am sleeping though.”

“Take a nap with me…” you walk closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Just an innocent nap” you lean into him, your warm mouth at his ear. “Innocent, I promise.” You lean back a bit to see how pink Taehyung is becoming, his face flushing and his body tensing.

“No…” he stutters, “I can’t.” but he can’t help his own hands from wrapping around your waist. He pulls you in closer to his body and breathes you in. God, this is pure fucking torture. He can’t help the way his breathes become rougher, slightly uneven.

“Fuck…” he breathes out. “I want to kiss you so bad.” He says as he grows weaker and weaker in your grasp.

“Then kiss me, Tae.”

“Maybe our first date.” He teases, his hands going lower until they are gripping your hips. “Please tell me you’ll let me take you out this Friday?”

“I have to wait that long?”

“Only 4 days baby.”

“4 days too many.” You pout…”But you are worth the wait.” You lean up and kiss his cheek.

Taehyung slowly closes his eyes, the urge to kiss you stupid is strong. The urge to rip your clothes off and fuck you? Even stronger.

“y/n…” he warns. “Hurry up and take your nap. I’m going to let the guys know we made it,” he says, pulling out his phone.

You bite your lips while nodding your head in understanding. You pull away from Taehyung and pull off your shirt, and slip off your jeans.

“W-What are you doing?” Taehyung blushes as he watches you undress.

“Changing.” You shrug, you walk towards his drawers and open them up one by one, trying to find yourself one of his t shirts.

“You are really testing me, aren’t you?” he bites down on his bottom lip, his eyes scanning your exposed body. “You really want me to slip those panties off and fuck you silly?” he walks closer to you, putting his phone in his back pocket. He crosses his arms over his chest and eyes you.

“Keep going.” He orders. “Take off the rest of your clothes. Sleep in nothing but the t shirt.”

Your head snaps up to face him and you see how serious he is. You swallow down your spit as you reach behind you to unclasp your bra. It falls to the floor and you feel the cool air hardening your buds.

“Panties too.” Taehyung commands, “Take them off slowly though.”

You nod, your hands going to the waistband of your panties, you slowly drag one side down and then the other. You begin to slide them down one leg at a time when you hear Taehyung tsk.

“Slower.” He says sternly. “I said slow.”

You drag them down slower now, they are barely at your thighs when Taehyung takes long strides to meet you. He slaps your hands away and his own hands go to your underwear.

“Like this.” He begins showing you, “Nice and slow. Let the anticipation build.”

He slides them off you so fucking slowly, when they get to your knees he pauses, his eyes traveling up to your exposed pussy. He licks his drying lips and groans.

“I can smell you baby. You’re wet.”

You throw your head back, feeling embarrassed. You squeeze your thighs together when he starts dragging the panties down again. When they’re finally at your ankles, you kick them away.

“You got wet from something like this?” he quirks a brow at you, amusement written all over his face.

“I can’t help it Tae, I need you.”

“You are so greedy,” Taehyung walks closer to you, his fingers sliding up your arms. “You just had my fingers in the shower, now you already need more?”

“I’ll always need more until you let me have you.” You admit between bated breaths.

“Oh is that so?” he teases, his fingers traveling up towards your neck. His fingers wrap around your throat, he squeezes and walks you backwards until your body is against the wall.

“You want to come?” He squeezes your throat just a bit tighter.

“Yes.” You squeak out, you can’t help but swivel your hips.

“My greedy girl wants to come?” he asks again, his other hand gripping your hips. “Then come. Touch yourself.”

“T-Touch myself?” your eyes widen, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb baby, take your fingers and rub that clit for me.” He says while squeezing your throat lightly. You feel yourself grow more and more turned on. Your hand reaches down between your legs, and your fingers find your swollen, aching clit.

“How does that feel babe? To finally be touched?” he asks, his hand never leaving your throat as his other hand massages your hip. “I want you coming all over your fingers.”

You rub your clit faster and faster, you’re slowly closing your eyes when Taehyung squeezes your throat a bit harder.

“No.” he says. “You have to keep your eyes on me.”

You open them wider, you stare up at Taehyung, his gaze is dark and intense. Your lips part as you moan out, your whines and whimpers all directed towards Taehyung.

“Mm.” you moan, “Feels good, Tae.” You rub tight, focused circles on your little bundle of nerves, you quickly feel your high approaching. The entire situation making you feel so fucking turned on. Taehyung looks so fucked out as he watches you. His eyes glazed over in lust.

“You going to come?” he asks breathlessly. “Because of me?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You pant out, “I’m so close.” You tense your whole body as waves of your orgasm begin crashing over you. Your fingers keep going as you ride it out and your head hits the wall as you finally finish.

Taehyung loosens his grip on your neck, and pulls you in for a hug. He brings your naked body to his and he inhales you. Before you can wrap your arms around him and hug him back, Taehyung is grabbing your hand and leading you towards the bed.

“Lay down.” He orders. “Now.”

You give Taehyung a look of question but you do as he says. You lay down on the bed and wait for him to instruct you further.

“Spread your legs.”

You do as he says, spreading your legs nice and wide. You don’t know what to expect though, you eye him curiously.

“Place your fingers at your pussy.” He continues to instruct you. “Yes, like that…now gather your juices for me baby.” He walks over, gets on the bed between your legs. He crawls up your body until his face is in front of your face.

“Get your fingers soaked for me.” He kisses the side of your neck.

You get your fingers nice and wet and you bring them up between your faces, showing him.

“Good. Now let me taste.” He says, “This is the only way I deserve to taste you.”

You frown at that, but you push your fingers past his lips nonetheless.

Taehyung’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his tongue swirls around your fingers, he can’t help but groan as he tastes you. You pull your fingers out of his warm mouth and gather more of your pussy juices. You then bring your fingers to his lips again, pushing past them so he can taste you again and again.

“How do I taste?” You breathe out, “Good?”

“My fucking favorite flavor.” He moans, “Taste yourself.” He commands, taking your hand in his, dipping it between your legs, so your fingers can gather your cum. Then he is bringing your hand back between your faces, and sticking your fingers in your mouth.

“Taste.” He orders quietly.

You lick up your fingers, moaning at your situation.

“I want you Taehyung.” You whisper desperately. “I need you.”

Taehyung bows his head down, breathing roughly at your words. He wants you too. He needs you too. But he still isn’t in the right place to fuck you. He wants this first time to be more than a fuck. He wants to make love to you. He also feels like he doesn’t deserve you now. He feels like shit.

“Not yet.” He breathes out harshly. “But maybe soon.” He struggles to find a steady breath.

“Taehyung…” you whine.

Taehyung rolls off your body, stands to his feet and grabs the t shirt you were going to use. He throws it over to you.

“Put this on and take your nap.” He says softly.

You listen, as usual. You pull the shirt over your head and through your arms and get up to clean yourself off.

Taehyung stands at his window, deep in thought. He wants you. He needs you. He loves you. He’s sure of all three of these things. But it’s too soon to think he has forgiven you isn’t it? It’s too soon to think he’s over it. He wants to be over it, of course. But he knows it is too soon to think he is.

“I guess I will take a nap now.” You announce your presence once again. You pull back Taehyung’s covers and slip inside the bed. The entire bed smells just like him. You pull the blanket to your nose and inhale it, you turn to your side and stuff your face in his pillow, inhaling that as well. Everything smells just like him. It makes you feel weak.

“Okay babe.”

You feel your eyes sting just a bit, the reality is Taehyung is still distancing himself from you. And that makes you feel small, makes you feel weak. You aren’t satisfied with anything. No attention he gives you feels like enough.

“Taehyung?” You call out for him, your voice small. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

Taehyung leans away from the window and walks over to his bed. He sits on the edge, just staring at you.

“Sure.”

You nod gratefully, you reach out for his hand and he gives it to you.

“This will be a perfect 3 weeks, I swear.” You promise to Taehyung. He feels his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I know.” He responds in a whisper.

“You are going to fall even more in love with me.” Your voice cracks, your eyes filling with tears.

“I know.” He says quietly.

“You’re never going to want me to leave.”

“I know.”

“You are going to beg me to stay.” You choke on your words and he squeezes your hand.

“I know.”

And he is afraid of that…that he is going to beg you to stay but you will say no. You have your own life at your own home. He knows this is going to take work, he knows this is going to take time. He knows this. But fuck, he is ready to do everything with you. But he knows he needs to take it slow.

“You are going to be so in love with me by the end of this.” You silently cry.

Taehyung feels his heart pinch in his chest, he feels it struggling to find a beat. He knows this. He knows he is so in love with you and the more time he spends with you, it will grow. But do you feel the same? Do you really? You weren’t ever going to reach out, were you? He knows the answer deep down. The same thought fucking haunts him.

“I know.”

[mercy-burning]

Cold Feet (Alternate Version)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After receiving a letter from an old flame just days away from her wedding, Reader wonders if she should call it all off. —Inspired by the song Cold Feet by Tenille Arts Category: Angst (unhappy ending) Content Warnings: An almost kiss that isn’t with Reader’s fiancé Word Count: 1.8k

Read the other version of Cold Feet here!

MASTERLIST

***

She should be happily wrapped in a dream, Safe in a warm bed and sound asleep. So why is she walking back home From a long night down by the creek, With cold feet?

Y/N is currently finding it difficult to breathe.

It was easier a couple days ago when she knew exactly what she wanted. Her husband-to-be was more than excited to marry her, and she'd reciprocated that feeling entirely. Everything was ready to go. Truthfully, they could have gotten married right this second if that's what they wanted, that's how ready to go they were.

But now? She was questioning everything.

She still felt the thin paper in her hands, even with its folded body currently tucked away in an old book she knew was never going to be opened again- a gift from the man who'd written the letter in the first place.

The first time she read it, her heart sank. And by the third time she'd read it, her heart soared.

And then her fiancé walked in, asked her about what to make for dinner, and her heart sank all over again.

Honestly, damn him for choosing now to finally confess. Damn him for making her question everything, after she'd finally moved on and found someone who would always be around.

But then again, she'd ended up choosing to live in a house in their hometown, just blocks away from that creek he'd mentioned in his letter. So... Maybe she hadn't moved on entirely

She hated that she even had to think about it.

She hated that her thoughts were so consumed with this man she hadn't seen in years when the man she was about to marry slept next to her every night, unaware of the start to her inner turmoil. Each night since then, she dreamt of dances with both of them, alternating between the two until they made her choose which of them she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And every morning she'd wake with an even bigger tear in her heart than when the old flame had burned it alive and left her alone in the aftermath to piece it back together.

Her fiancé helped her do that, though. Day by day he taught her to love again, to trust in somebody again, and he was truly a good man.

So why was it absolutely destroying her, thinking of getting married to him when there was someone else in the picture to think about? Someone who'd had a hold on her for well over fifteen years?

Again, she hated that she even had to think about it.

But she wasn't about to get married with all these conflicting thoughts, so whether she wanted to or not, her only real option was the one that would also be the hardest on her tattered heart.

She'd sent him a text message this morning that read, Midnight, and tucked her phone away for the rest of the day, drowning herself in mindless work and looking to keep time moving forward.

Now, she struggles to breathe as she makes her way down to the creek.

It's cold, having just rained fifteen minutes prior, and she wraps her fiancé's cardigan tightly over her her arms, searching for warmth and comfort. She would have settled for one of her own, heavier pieces, but in some strange way she thought maybe having something there that belonged to her fiancée would ground her, something to remind her of the gravity of the situation at hand.

Nothing could have grounded her upon seeing her ex boyfriend after all these years, though, especially when she finally shows up to their old spot and sees him perched on the big stump right next to the water, relief and joy flooding through his features at the sight of her. His smile is just as bright and familiar as she remembered, and it just about knocks the wind out from under her feet.

"Hi, Y/N," he greets softly, standing up and stretching his hands out over his legs. It's obvious that he's nervous to meet up with her after all these years apart, and she couldn't blame him in the slightest.

She's just as nervous as her feet take baby steps towards him. Meanwhile she's hugging her fiancée's cardigan around her body tighter than before. "Hi..."

"I... I can't believe you actually wanted to meet. Truthfully I thought I wouldn't hear back from you."

"Well... Your letter kind of rattled me... You rattled me. I guess I just had to know..."

There's a long pause before he takes a small step towards her and tilts his head. His words are hesitant, like he thinks she might say something he doesn't want to hear. "And... What do you know?"

"I know that I love my fiancé. After you, I didn't really think I'd ever love anyone the same way again, but... He makes me happier than I've ever been, and I... I can't just discard that feeling because you decided too late that you still love me. You know?"

"I do, Y/N, I really do," he answers earnestly, and this time his hand reaches out to grab hers. "But... I mean, you showed up here, didn't you? That has to count for something..."

She isn't really sure how to respond after that. It's true that seeing this man in front of her for the first time in years has brought back a wave of feelings that she'd repressed and even experienced with someone new.

But it's also true that with those feelings comes an inevitable aftertaste of bitterness. He'd left her, decided ultimately that his career was more important to him, and now that she has someone new he's asking her to leave behind this peace she's found. And for what? For him? What's to stop him from leaving again, or deciding years or months down the road that he'd made a mistake and gotten her to leave her one shot at happiness after him?

Nonetheless, she sits with him for hours, listening to him explain... Giving him a chance. He apologizes for the past, he promises to do better in the future, and in between he makes her laugh. Their hands brush, their breaths mingle as they huddle from the cold, and with every passing minute, the cardigan on her shoulders becomes looser and more forgotten.

Slowly but surely, he's lowering her defenses and gaining her trust. He's showing her bits and pieces of the man she fell in love with until they're laughing at close to 3am.

And then, for a moment, it's quiet. Absolutely quiet, save for the crickets and the soft rolling of the creek behind them.

Y/N almost lets him kiss her then.

But then her heart hammers in her chest, and not in a good way. Suddenly, she's imagining the pure heartbreak that would surely manifest on her fiancé's face if he found out- if she really decided to leave him for this old flame that had barely started to kindle once again years later.

She has to be absolutely certain of her decision.

So she pulls back and wraps her fiancé's cardigan tightly around her arms. "I should go home."

There's disappointment in his eyes, and it twists her gut a little. "Right... Um... I-I can take you back, if you want."

"No, I, uh... I think I'm gonna walk. I have to think."

Y/N avoids his gaze just quickly enough that she doesn't see the disappointment in his eyes fizzle into a tiny sliver of hope.

Rain on the sidewalk, doubt in her mind. One thing's for sure, she's running out of time To decide what's right, And who's heart she's willing to break.

She climbs into bed some time later, the cardigan still wrapped tightly around her body, and she can't quite bring herself to face the man sleeping next to her. It feels wrong, like somehow she's betrayed him by even thinking of spending the rest of her life with another person. She doesn't feel worthy of his love.

When she wakes up the next morning, she'd somehow ended up facing him anyway. He's staring at her with adoring eyes, and under his gaze she can't help the guilt that washes over her.

"Quit looking at me like that..."

Her words are grumbly and soft because of having just woken up, and because her face is half hidden behind blankets and his cardigan, her fiancé doesn't know anything is wrong.

Instead, he laughs. "What, you're beautiful... And before you start arguing with me, yes, you're even beautiful when you wake up."

She only grumbles, feeling anything but.

It's quiet for a moment or two before he speaks again. "You're wearing my cardigan..."

Peeking her eyes out from the mountain of fabric, she can see the enchantment in his eyes and it makes her warm. "I was cold..."

While true, she mostly means I had cold feet.

"Come here."

Two simple words, two syllables, and yet it's the softest declaration of love she's ever heard. Her body instinctively nestles into his, face going straight into the crook of his neck while he wraps her up in his arms.

"There," he says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You feel warmer yet?"

"Mhm..." She sighs into his skin and then takes in a deep breath.

He smells like home.

He feels like home.

And as he starts softly humming her favorite song, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he holds her close, Y/N wonders why she'd ever doubted her love for him.

He is home.

Spencer never was— he was almost always gone.

Letting him go is hard given their past; The good in their relationship was really good, but... it wasn’t enough. It isn't enough for Y/N to leave behind this new, pure love that had reopened parts of her soul she hadn't realized could be repaired after Spencer.

While James makes coffee in the kitchen, Y/N wanders to the bookshelf, gently removing Spencer's gift from the dark wood and swiping her hand over the bound leather exterior. The letter enclosed inside, handwriting that matches an inscription on the front inside cover of the book, beats softly like a heart.

Later that day, as she makes her way five towns over, that heartbeat slowly diminishes— until, finally, she drops it off at the local bookstore for donation, and it stops beating altogether.

And Spencer, somehow, can feel it. He feels it deep in his bones, that she'd given up on them— on him.

He feels the beating of his heart slow down day after day, so quiet and barely tangible, that once the day of her wedding finally arrives, it shatters altogether.

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[jekunitrash]

A very short one-shot for Jeje and Mikuni's birthdays

I know I'm late for Mikuni, please just consider the story is taking place on October 1st.

Mikuni wasn't fond of parties. Not anymore, at least. There used to be a time when the manor got pretty lively on this particular day. But now, even though he wasn't there to witness it, he could imagine it was but a plain and normal day at the Alicein mansion. Of course, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy all the attention, the presents, the praises, and everything that came along with celebrating his birthday. It was just... something he could live without. Compared to the other, more considerable losses, this one was irrelevant. Laughable, even. And yet, it was at this very moment, that Mikuni felt the loneliest. It wasn't the celebration in itself he missed, but the people who were there to take part in it. People he loved and couldn't see anymore, people who had loved him in return and couldn't anymore. For quite various reasons, but the conclusion was the same. His deceased mother could never wish him happiness again, and neither would Misono nor his father.

Today could have been a delightful day, but all joy had died that night, as well. Celebrating had become meaningless, worse, it would be painful more than anything. From now on, Mikuni's birthday would be a regular day. That was what he wanted.

So why did his chest hurt so much? He had come to terms with his past decisions, since then. He'd known about the consequences. He preferred it being like this, a hundred times more than what could have been. But it still hurt. Maybe because this date was special, maybe because he only truly realized now all that he'd lost. Perhaps it was because he knew no one could make today the same as before, too. For all of those reasons, Mikuni felt empty like he hadn't felt in a while.

Then, he remembered a conversation he once had with Tsurugi. About being jealous of him. Obviously, the blond had denied it. What could he possibly envy about the raven? His situation was just as bad, if not worse than his. But as of now, it did feel like jealousy. Tsurugi may not have the best life here at C3, but he at least had Touma and a few friends to think about his birthday. Mikuni didn't even have that. It was such a pathetic thought, but it was true nonetheless. Tsurugi had something Mikuni didn't. And he sometimes hated him for it.

Jeje turned around upon hearing someone sneeze, and sighed when he saw it was only Tsurugi.

"Tissues... on the table...you should... dress warmer. Fall... is already here."

"Sure, thanks, Jeje-chan!" The man said, hopping on a chair. "This mission was so boring, I couldn't wait to come back. Where is Kuni?"

Jeje swayed from one foot to another, visibly uneasy.

"He is still... working. He said... he wanted calm and... silence."

Tsurugi downright pouted, a childish mannerism to express his disappointment. "Heeeeh, is he for real? Today is his birthday, though. Where is the fun in filling out paperwork?"

The vampire fumbled with his sleeves. "I don't think... he is... looking forward to his... birthday." He muttered, and Tsurugi noticed the hint of guilt in his voice.

"Well, for starters, did you wish him an happy birthday? That could help." He said, a brow raised.

"He... probably... doesn't want to hear it from me..."

The raven leaned forward, his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hands. He looked irritated somehow and that sure was something new.

"Jeje-chan, that is, how should I put it? Yeah, you're being stupid."

The taller man was about to get irritated as well, but Tsurugi went on.

"Look, what I'm saying is, you can't know how he feels nor what he wants if you don't ask or try. Kuni-chan has no one besides you to remember - well, I happen to know because it's written on his registration - but anyway, of course it would make him happy to hear it. That's only natural. Even if he denies or try to hide it behind a facade, he has a heart. And he's too sensitive for his own liking."

Jeje bit on his lower lip, pondering on what the raven had just said. He knew his eve had been moody since this morning, just as he knew his family's absence, today of all days, was weighing on him. He just felt like it wasn't his part to play.

"Even so..." he began eventually, "I can't replace... his family. It will never... be the same, for him."

Tsurugi was quiet for a moment, as for once, he was thinking of the best way to say things. It was soon obvious what he should tell Jeje.

"Okay, you may be right. It will indeed never be the same. But it doesn't have to be such a bad thing. What I mean is, from now on, what you have to do is to make it as good as you can. And then, little by little, you will both get new habits and find a way of your own to celebrate it. Kuni-chan... he's stubborn, and I'm sure he can be resentful, but he has a sense of what's right and what's not. So it's unlikely that he hates you to begin with. Therefore, being wished a happy birthday, even if you're not best friends, would still make him a little joyful."

Silence followed his statement. Jeje couldn't argue against that, as his analysis of Mikuni was so sharp. He was admittedly impressed, since Tsurugi always acted like an idiot. He hadn't thought he could have such a good understanding of people. After being stared at insistently for a solid thirty seconds, Jeje resigned himself.

"Alright... I will... talk to him."

The raven smiled like a contented child, his arms proudly crossed on his chest.

"Good, good!"

The afternoon was near it's end when Mikuni got it over with, not that it mattered. All he wanted was for this day to finish quickly, so maybe the one after he would forget about it already. It was so frustrating. He knew there was nothing he could do to change anything now, but it was bugging him nonetheless. It was as though a little, pestering voice kept reminding him, 'hey, you're all alone for your birthday. You ruined everything, so this is entirely your fault, tough'. And at this point he was tempted to go to sleep if it meant it would shut up. It would most likely have to wait, if the knock on the door was anything to go by.

He'd be lying again if he said he wasn't a tad bit surprised to see Jeje.

" What? I said I needed calm, didn't I?"

While it was far from an engaging start, his tone wasn't as spiteful as he had meant it to be. He had mostly sounded tired.

"I know... but you've been here all afternoon and... I thought you should... take a break." Jeje mumbled, which made Mikuni look at him quizzically. He had never acted out of his own initiative before. Rather, he had never gone against his eve's indications.

"Oh." Mikuni said, "Well, there is no need anyway. I'm done."

"That's... good."

Well, now it was awkward. Mikuni wasn't too sure, be it because of the fatigue or the unrealistic side of the situation, but was Jeje acting shy?

"Yeah, I guess." He spoke, "If that was all-"

But, unexpectedly enough, Jeje wasn't done, and Mikuni stopped midway after hearing a distant voice.

"Ha..."

The blond eve frowned, Jeje was being so weird and he had no idea why. Plus, he wasn't in the mood and it was beginning to annoy him.

"What?" He asked, and this time the vampire straightened his posture a little more.

"... happy birthday."

Mikuni legit blinked, his mouth slightly open in disbelief. "Huh?" He genuinely thought he had misheard, that he was imagining things. But his servamp surprised him even more by repeating that sentence. Louder, and firmer.

"Happy birthday, Mikuni."

The eve closed his mouth, opened it again, and in the end closed it. His troath felt dry for some reason, and his chest stinged in a manner that was oddly familiar. It was a strange warmth that spread and that he used to identify as joy.

Jeje was standing here, perfectly still, apparently waiting for an answer of sort. The way his mouth formed a line indicated that he wasn't too sure of what to do next, and Mikuni himself would have liked a notice.

At last, the only logical thing he could do was to thank him, and even then, he had trouble to process it. The embarrassed mess who spoke was totally not him, either.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Thank you."

Jeje seemed to relax afterwards, but it was still strangely tense. Mostly because Mikuni had a hard time believing it had happened. The vampire tried to think of a normal thing to do in this situation, or remember something the Alicein used to do on their birthdays. But then he recalled that Tsurugi had adviced to do something new, and decided he should just ask his eve at this point.

"So... Is there something... you want to do? Or eat?"

Truthfully, Mikuni's face was priceless, and perhaps someday he could even laugh about it, but not now. Right now Jeje was relieved, above all things.

"Some good tea would be nice, I suppose." Mikuni said eventually. "Also, a midnight stroll in the park. And why not cake, but I'm not going to eat it by myself, so... "

It was Jeje's turn to be started, and despite not being fond of sweet things, he couldn't turn down the offer.

"I... see. Then... I'll... have some. If that's... okay."

And then, Mikuni smiled for the first time in months.

"That would be alright."

Jeje poured a second cup of Ceylan tea for his eve, while the latter cut the small cake they had just bought. Tsurugi's present had been to negotiate a night out of C3 base without surveillance, and it was admittedly the best. Mikuni had cringed upon having the raven pester him about his birthday, of course, but his soft expression later on had told Jeje that he was thankful. The servamp could feel himself smiling, ever so slightly, as he put the cup on the table, and he was glad for the way it had all played out in the end. Mikuni was indeed loving his birthday, in a way, despite everything, and it was all the vampire could ask for.

It was when they were coming back from their walk, couple hours later, that Mikuni asked him out of the blue.

"By the way, Jeje. When is your birthday?"

Then again, it startled him. For one thing, no one had asked him that in a long, very long time. And for another one, he had stopped caring since he had become an immortal monster and had incidentally forgotten about it.

"I... don't know." He replied simply.

Mikuni hummed, and when the clocks indicated one minute past midnight, arbitrarily declared,

"In that case, your birthday should be today".

[na-na-na-nanna]

Last Man on Earth

Pairing: Seokjin x virgin!reader

Genre: post apocalyptic, smut, angst

Word count: 8900

Warnings: oral (m+f), fingering, unprotected sex, masturbation

Moodboard

Summary: The world has ended and the only two people left on the planet is you and Seokjin. Together you try to survive in this lonely new world while pondering upon the past and what could have been and the future and what will be

a/n: this is my first attempt at writing so please have mercy. English is also not my first language

The sky above you was dark, and it looked like the rain could start falling at any minute now. Even though you still had a long way home, and you would most likely get completely drenched, you still wished for the sky to open up since you were low on clean drinking water. You just hoped that Jin had remembered to put out the buckets to collect the water as you had asked him to. Before you could finish the thought, a single droplet hit your cheek. You wiped it away like you would a tear and continued walking through the empty city. If you hurried, you might make it home before it would start pouring.    

Today, you had been lucky in your search for, “things that might come in handy” as you usually described it. You had discovered an old convenience store, which was full of all kinds of canned food, so you had filled your back to the brim with them. A decision that was weighing you down right now, you thought, as you could feel your back getting sore. Next time you would bring Jin with you, so you at least would be two to carry the loath, and he would tease you for being too weak to carry it all by yourself. He loved to tease you, and seeing your annoyed face was one of the things that gave him the most joy in this god forsaken world. Even though he often got on your nerves, you liked his mild teasing since it just felt kind of normal, like the interactions you used to have with your friends before everything changed, and you would desperately cling to the memory of your old life. 

The heavy loath had made you slightly bent over, and made you look down at your feet as you walked as quickly as your legs allowed you to, and it was only the resounding sound of thunder that made you look up and notice exactly where you were. Without even realizing it, you had walked into your old neighborhood and was now standing in the rain outside of your old high school building. If it was not for a sign clearly stating which school it was, you might not even have registered that it was your old one. Subtle clues like these from the past reminded you of what your life used to look like. How many hours you had spent in this now desegregating building, and the irony of it made you laugh to yourself. Seeing the state of your old high school also, made you wonder how the university was holding up, and how you probably wouldn’t be able to recognize that at first glance either. 

You continued down the street that, what seemed like a lifetime ago, had been your whole world when a splash of color caught the corner of your eye. Amidst the grey surroundings was what could only be described as the most perfect strawberries growing at the roadside. You thought that eyes might be playing tricks on you since you couldn’t believe what you were witnessing. There shouldn’t be strawberries this time of year and especially not in a place like this, but your eyes weren’t lying to you. You couldn’t remember the last time you had had a strawberry, so for a while you just stood still and admired the little wonders in front of you. The berries would be a nice surprise for Jin, you thought, as you remembered that he had once told you he had worked on a strawberry farm when he was younger. The image made you smile for a moment before you bent down to pick up the precious strawberries.

 Jin had in fact done as you told him to, you concluded, as you looked up at the otherwise abandoned apartment complex you were currently staying in and saw a sea of different shaped and sized buckets on the balcony.  

When you entered the apartment, that had become your and Jin’s shared home, you announced your presence, but to your surprise the space was empty. You knew that Jin wouldn’t have gone out without you knowing, so he was probably just in his room and hadn’t heard you because of the rain. You didn’t do anything else to make your arrival known since you now had the opportunity to make more out of your special surprise for him. You put down your backpack with the canned food in it and quickly got to work. You didn’t even bother to change out of your wet clothes. You began to wash the strawberries even though they probably didn’t really need it due to all the rain, but you did it anyways. When the berries were to your liking, you arranged them nicely on a plate you had laying around. You were beginning to get excited, and you couldn’t wait to see the look on Jin’s face when he would see what you had prepared for him. You took off your shoes, so you wouldn’t make too much noise when walking to his room. The door to the room was ajar, but you could only make out a small portion of your roommate’s silhouette through the small gap, but you could hear a heavy breathing coming from the room. You didn’t think any of it since Jin occasionally liked to work out in his room, so you proceeded to swing the door wide open, and as you entered you were met with a face full of terror. Jin was naked, and you had just interrupted him in a very intimate moment, to say the least. You couldn’t tell if it was because of your wet clothes, or the scene in front of you, but a shiver ran down your spine and caused a small tremble in your thighs.

“Fuck! I-I didn’t know you were back!” Jin almost yelled with panic in his voice as he frantically looked for something to cover himself with. You were so taken aback by what you had just walked in on that it took you a while to move mainly because you felt almost paralyzed with a new found heat rushing through your body. You eventually managed to snap out of it and stutter the words, “I-I’m s-sorry.” you then realized mid-sentence that your eyes were still fixated on his bare skin, so you quickly looked away, hoping he hadn’t noticed, “I should have knocked.”

“It’s fine. Could you just…?” his eyes went from you to the door hoping you would get the message, which you did, and now that you could move again you were fast to turn on your heel and leave the space, and a very frustrated Jin, behind. Once you were alone again, you could feel just how fast your heart was beating in your chest and, as you caught your reflection in a nearby mirror, you could also see how your cheeks had turned the same color as the strawberries you were still clinging on to.

You hated this. The way he broke eye contact, only answered you with one word, but mostly, the way he had been avoiding you. You and Jin had fought before, but you were always quick to talk things out since you both felt that there was no reason to stay mad at each other, but this time it was different. There was no talking about it, or even acknowledging what had happened, in fact it was like you had made a silent agreement to pretend that nothing had. You could easily have done that and carried on with your everyday life, but you found it difficult since Jin could barely even look at you. You understood that he was embarrassed, but you honestly didn’t see what the big deal was because to be frank, you would have been more surprised if he never did anything of the sort. You just kind of wished you could laugh about the whole thing and move on.

Jin and you would always be talking and joking around while Jin prepared a meal for you, but today there was only silence between you. He would always make an effort to do a little extra, so the canned food would taste more like a proper meal than, well, canned food, and currently he was putting all of his attention and focus into doing exactly that. You watched him silently from the dinner table where you were sitting as his broad shoulders moved back and forth while he worked. The smell from his cooking reached your nostrils which made your stomach betray you and growl.

“I’m almost finished.” Jin said in response to your growling.  

Even though you had felt intense hunger just a few moments prior, you were now picking at your food while Jin on the contrary was going all in and stuffing his face, so even if he wanted to converse with you it would have been difficult to do so because of his full cheeks. As you and Jin sat opposite of each other without saying a word, you couldn’t help but feel alone, one thing you had hoped never to feel again ever since you had met Jin. You simply couldn’t take this anymore, so you finally broke the silence and spoke.

“I do it too, you know.”

“What?” The sudden sound coming from you had taken him a little by surprise.

“Masturbate,” Jin had not expected you to say that, and it almost caused him to choke on his food. “so it’s really no big deal,” you continued. “I also need to get release sometimes, it’s only natural, and it’s not like there is a lot of options when it comes to sexual partners.” Small pearls of sweat had formed on Jin’s exposed forehead as he clenched his jaw. He really didn’t like this conversation, and how it made him feel.

“So you have to take matters into your own hands, quite literally,” you nervously joked. “If you know what I mean”.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” he finally said.

“Good, and can you stop being so awkward around me now? It’s been driving me crazy.” you told him truthfully.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was being childish. I promise to act more mature from now on.”

“Good luck with that,” you teased. “You might be older than me, but we both know I’m the mature one…, and the smart one…, and the best looking one.”

“Yah!” he protested. “Have you seen this face?” he made an exaggerated gesture at his face. “I’m diffidently the best looking one.”

“Okay fine, I’ll give you that one.” you smiled at his smug face as he was clearly satisfied with the title.     

For the rest of the night the air between you was more relaxed, and Jin would only occasionally zone out and look all flustered when you confronted him about it. He therefore excused himself earlier than then usual to go to bed. When he was finally alone in his room again, he let out the breath he had been holding, a breath he had been holding ever since you had walked in on him. He of course had felt embarrassed, but he mostly felt guilty at how much he didn’t hate your eyes lingering on him as he came. This had made it hard for him to even look at you because every time you would look at him with your big doe eyes, he would be reminded of those thoughts and the guilt that followed them. And now this. He really didn’t need the image of you doing that in his head, but now that it had formed it simply wouldn’t escape his mind. After dinner he had managed to act relatively normal around you, but if he wasn’t careful his mind would wander off, and lewd images would appear for his inner eye. He for that reason decided it would probably be for the best if he called it a night, but there he was in the dark room all alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know why this new information about you surprised him so much, you were an adult after all, you had been for some time now. He probably just never saw you in that light, he thought. He was years older than you, and from the moment you had met he had always felt protective of you, the same way he would imagine an older brother would feel about his younger sister. But as he laid down on his back, he couldn’t help thinking of you in a very different way, and he also didn’t want to fight it. He knew he would only ever see you like that in his imagination, so he couldn’t bring himself to also deny himself that. He imagined what sounds you would make as you touched yourself, the number of fingers you would insert in your wet core and which parts of your body that would be the most sensitive. Just the thought of your body twitching in pleasure made his own cock twitch slightly. Jin also kept thinking about which movements that would send you over the edge as he felt his trousers tightening around his groin. How could just the thought of you have this much of an effect on him, he wondered? He quickly cast away the thought since he really didn’t want to think too much about the actual answer.   

The sky had the color of a light blue, not a cloud to be spotted, and the sun was shining, and you enjoyed the warmth on your face. It had been so long since the weather had been this nice, you thought. You didn’t know if it was the weather, or whatnot, but Jin seemed to be in a good mood as well as he was humming a melody on your way through the city.

Fortunately, you had no problems finding back to the old convenience store, and everything was exactly as it had been when you left it, not that you had expected anything to have changed. Jin had found a shopping cart and was filling it to the brim with groceries as you went through the aisles of the store. He was visibly very excited like a child in a candy store, and you couldn’t help but smile at his small antics as his eyes would light up every time he spotted something new on the shelves. Every product that wasn’t expired, he would throw in the cart without even really looking at what it was.

“You know we have to carry  all of that home, right? Might want to be a bit more selective.” you said in a teasing tone.

“I have to carry it home.” Jin corrected you.

“I’m stronger than I look.” you said in an offended tone of voice. 

“Sure you are,” he said, not sounding very convinced. “Besides, we can just bring the cart with us, smart ass.”

“Fine, but you’re pushing it.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” he smiled and went back to picking out items. You knew that there was no getting through to him once he was in this state of mind, so you decided to leave him be and take a spin around the convenience store to see if you could find anything else of interest. There wasn’t much else in the store besides all the necessities which you found to be a little disappointing. Who knew the end of the world could be so uninteresting at times, you thought to yourself? Because of this fact, you always looked for things you could use to pass the time with. Unlucky at finding anything that could serve that purpose between the shelves, you walked over to look at the magazine holder near the cash register. You picked up one of those gossip magazines, and on the front page there were some paparazzi photos of two idols who had been involved in a dating scandal. You opened the magazine to read the story and sighed at the fact that people used to care so much about these sort of things, which you occasionally had been guilty of yourself, you had to admit but, but you had liked to read about other people’s lives. As you closed the magazine again, you wondered what had happened to the couple afterwards. If they had stayed together or split up, if they had retired or stayed active with their carries. It really didn’t matter, you thought, everything would change for them in the following months anyways. You tossed the idols aside and started to go through the bundle of magazines in hopes that you might find the one that you were looking for, which you eventually did. A neatly groomed Jin in a tailored suit, looked up at you from the cover of a business magazine. It was hard to imagine that the goofball roaming the aisles was the same bigshot businessman on the cover, but he was. Jin had apparently been the heir to his family’s company, and the article was about him being one of the youngest to ever be appointed vice-president of such a big company.

You had looked at this magazine in a similar way the first time you had met Jin. Like today, you had been looking through another convenience store, very similar to the one that you were currently in, when you had first picked up the magazine with the handsome man on the front. For some reason you had picked it up even though you had no interest in business, especially not businesses that didn’t even exist anymore, but there was something about him that had drawn you in, you remembered thinking. Maybe it was his kind eyes staring back at you that had made you feel less alone. At that point, you had been alone for months, and keeping yourself alive was no problem, but it was the loneliness that was the hardest part for you, and you had almost given up on ever seeing another human being again. That was until you looked up and saw him right there in front of you. You must be seeing double, you thought, since two sets of the same pair of eyes were looking at you at the same time. At first, you just believed that it was your mind playing games with you since you so desperately longed to get lost in those eyes. When Jin had finally spoken to get your attention, you almost had had a heart attack. Your eyes lying to you were one thing but your ears too. Could he really be real or, had you truly gone mad? However unlikely it seemed, the man you had dreamt of only moments prior was standing right before your eyes in the flesh. You didn’t really believe in any god, but right then and there you just thanked something for hearing your prayers, and you felt lucky that you had somehow managed to find the only other person on the planet.

“Y/n!” Jin’s voice immediately brought you back to the present. “Look what I’ve found.” he had his arms full of bottles, and it was only when he was beside you again that you could see the content of the bottles.

“What do you say? We ditch the food and just have a party instead.” he joked.

“As tempting as that sounds, I think we should at least bring some food back with us.”

“You’re no fun at all,” Jin said with a fake annoyance, “but I see your point. 50/50 it is then.” you laughed. “Sure, why not? I actually could really need a drink too.”  

“Why do you have that?” Jin had noticed the magazine with himself on the cover in your hand. His smile faded a bit, and he seemed more serious now.  

“I just thought it was nice.” you said as you couldn’t help but feel like a child who has been caught doing something they shouldn’t.     

“Suit yourself,” he said a bit too coldly for your liking. “We should get going before it gets dark.”   

To your great amusement, Jin struggled far more with the heavy shopping cart than he had anticipated. He had almost lost control over it completely when the bumpy road had begun to tilt ever so slightly downwards, and it was a miracle that he had not crashed. Despite the obvious challenges that the cart brought him, there was no way in hell he was ever going to admit it, and he kept saying things like, “It’s fine, I got it.” and “This is nothing for me. I’m like really strong.” You just shook your head at these kinds of remarks and mocked his stubbornness as he refused any help from you. When you finally arrived at your apartment building, the sun had just begun to set, and the sky was now painted golden.

“Want to grab that drink now and watch the sun go down?” Jin asked you a little out of breath and with a few sweat pearls dripping from his hairline. You smiled at him. “Sure, I would like that very much.”

While Jin was making a lot of noise as he removed all the pots and buckets to make space for you on the balcony, you fetched two lounge chairs for you to sit in.

“This should do it.” Jin said more to himself than anybody when he was done clearing the balcony, and the chairs had been lined up. The small balcony looked quite cozy, you thought as you took your seat.

“And now the icing on the cake.” Jin said as he appeared with a large bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other. He poured the liquor first into your glass and then his own.

“Cheers.” he saluted you with his drink.

“Cheers.” you said back as you clinked your glass with his. The strong alcohol burned in your throat, but you didn’t mind it too much. 

“I could get used to this.” you exclaimed as you leant back in your seat content with the scenery.

“Mmm…” Jin just hummed in agreement. The two of you sat like that for a while without saying anything, sipping on your drinks while looking at the view in front of you. Maybe it was the alcohol or the relaxed setting, but you felt like asking Jin something that had been on your mind a lot lately.

“Do you miss it?” you asked him. “Sex, I mean.” It took Jin a while before he answered, as if he was thinking of what to say.

“There is a lot of things I miss, and I suppose sex is among those things.” he finally answered. In his old life he hadn’t really been dating a lot, much to his family’s disapproval, but he had enjoyed the occasional one nightstand. 

“Why do you ask?”

“Just curious, I guess.” you looked down at the almost empty glass in your hand.

“Do you miss it?” Jin now asked you.

“You can’t miss something you never had” you said. There was a growing disbelief on Jin’s face as he took in the new information about you. “Is it really that big of a surprise to you that I wasn’t sleeping around at university?”

“No, not at all,” he reassured you. “I would just have imagined that boys would be all over you.”

“Trust me they weren’t, and even if they were, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.” You poured yourself another drink.

“And why is that?” Jin asked after emptying his own glass.  

“Well,” you started, “I was just too busy with school and working towards my perfect future to ever indulge in such juvenile activities,” you scoffed at the irony. “A decision I have really come to regret.” You weren’t that much of a drinker either, so you could already feel the effect of alcohol in your system, which made you lightheaded. “God! I just wish I would have lived more like those you only live once type of people.”

“You don’t mean that,” Jin said in disapproval. “YOLO and all that crap.”

“I do, I bet those guys didn’t have any regrets.” you argued.

“Trust me. I’m sure those guys had plenty of regrets,” Jin reassured you, “but do you really regret it that much? Not dating and partying like others.”

“Mmm… tough question,” you said before continuing. “I think yes because now I won’t ever get the opportunity. Like I always felt a little behind my peers when it came to stuff like that, but at the time it didn’t really bother me too much because I always thought I would get the chance to experience them eventually,” you were getting quite tipsy now. “Besides, I would probably also have regretted sleeping with some rando just to get it over with.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Jin said, and you both did.

“But on a serious note,” Jin looked you in the eyes. “I think you made the right choice. Yeah, it might suck that you missed out on some things, but rather than pressuring yourself into doing something that you didn’t want to.” 

“I hope you’re right.” you sent him a tender smile that made him feel a little tickle in his stomach. The sun was now completely gone, and all light had faded away. Jin therefore left you alone on the balcony while he got up to go get some candles to illuminate the space. Jin really was the perfect guy when wanted to be, you thought. He always took care of you, like he had tonight, and you were so grateful that he was the one you’d have to share the rest of the world with. You trusted him completely, and you honestly didn’t know what you would do without him. If you had met someone like him at university, you wondered if you might have experienced all the things that you never got to. The second Jin ignited the candles the whole balcony was lit up with a yellow glow.

“Why don’t we just do it?” you said excited at your sudden realization.

“You have to be more specific than that.” Jin said.

“Have sex, you dummy,” you said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re a man, and I’m a woman. It all adds up.” you laughed.  

“You’re drunk.” was Jin’s only response as he clearly didn’t take your proposal very seriously.

“I’m not.” That was clearly a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I’m too old for you, anyways.” he said with an indifferent tone to his voice.

“You’re really not that old. Most of the girls in my class would date guys that were much older than you.”

“Still.” Why was he being so cold towards you? You knew it was a long shot, but you couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by his rejection.

“You’re right. You might be the last man on earth, but I’m not that desperate.” you fake laughed trying to save face.  

Jin felt bad since he could clearly sense the fakeness in your laugh. He really had had to fight himself when turning you down like that. With every fiber in his body he wanted to accept you, but he knew it would be wrong, and he wanted it to be right. You were drunk, and your head was filled with what if’s, and he didn’t want you to ever regret giving yourself to him in that way. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted. He cherished you so deeply, and he sincerely wanted you to lose your virginity to someone who you truly loved, and not to someone who was just there when you were drunk and desperate. Knowing all of that, there was still a small part of him that wanted to act selfish and give in to his longing, but he knew he would be taken advantage of you if he did.  

But he was also acting selfish by rejecting you since he felt that he wouldn’t be able to take it if he would have to give you up after only being with you once. He knew it would be almost impossible for him to stop once he had started. 

“What about you?” you then asked trying to change the subject, and pull focus away from the exchange you had just had. “What do you regret?” Jin gladly took the bait, so he answered your question with the first thing that came to mind. 

“That magazine cover.” Jin’s words surprised you.

“Why?” you asked. “I thought you would be proud of that.”

“To be honest I didn’t really want to do it in the first place, but when my dad made up his mind about something there was usually no point in arguing with him about it.”

“Why didn’t you want to do the cover? I mean, you were, like, really impressive.” you felt a little shy after complimenting him like that.

“I might have been good at doing business, but my heart was never really in it,” he took a large sip of his drink before continuing. “And once I did the cover I knew there was no going back.” You were not completely sure of how to respond to what Jin had just told you. You always thought that he had been happy with his career choices since he had never mentioned anything to make you think otherwise. 

“So, if you didn’t have to take over the family business what would you have been doing?” you finally asked him to lighten the mood a bit.

“I’m not telling you.” he said with a smile on his lips.

“Why not? I thought we were sharing all of our inner thoughts and desires, just now.” you tried your best to sound offended.

“You’ll just make fun of me.”   

“Me? Make fun of you? Never.” you joked.

“You see my point?” He said annoyed.  

“Just tell me already. It’s not like I have someone I can talk to about you behind your back.”

 “Okay fine,” he finally gave in, “when I was younger, I wanted to be a singer, and if I didn’t have to take over the business, I probably would have gone for it.” 

“Now, why would I make fun of that? Your voice is beautiful.” you told him sincerely.  

“And how would you know?” he asked.

“I know because you sing all the time when you think I’m not listening.”

“I didn’t think you noticed that.” he said, feeling a little embarrassed.

“I always notice you.” Jin couldn’t help but smile at your sweet words as it made him blush ever so slightly.  

“Let’s dance.” you suggested as you suddenly felt the need to move.

“What?” Jin exclaimed.

“You heard me. Now get up.” Jin had no choice but to follow your order as you almost fell over on your way up, and he had to run to you to catch you.

“We don’t have any music to dance to.” he said, still holding you in his arms.

“Why don’t you sing?” you suggested once you had found your balance again. “Please” you looked up at Jin with pleading eyes, and he didn’t have the strength in him to turn down your request. With a low voice he started singing a song you didn’t know. You moved in closer and put your arms around his neck and placed your head on his firm chest. It didn’t take long for Jin’s hands to find their way to your waist as you began to slowly sway from side to side to his song. You could hear Jin’s heart beat fast in his chest. Your warm body felt so nice pressed against his own, and he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how easy it would be for him to lean down and interlock his lips with yours. You were so lost in the moment that you almost didn’t notice it when Jin’s calming notes stopped, and left you standing in total silence. You felt so safe in Jin’s embrace that you couldn’t bring yourself to break free from it, not yet at least. You stood like that for a while until you lifted your head from his chest to look him in the eyes. He looked so good in the glow of the candlelight. His eyes sparkling, and his perfectly plumped lips only inches away from you. He was slowly moving closer to you, and you could feel your mouth beginning to water as the space between you became smaller and smaller by the seconds, but as you felt his warm breath hit your skin something in your stomach suddenly turned. You quickly pulled away from Jin, and turned on your heel to look for a bucket. Thank god you managed to find one before it was too late, and once you did you bent down and threw up like you never had before.

“You okay?” you heard Jin’s concerned voice behind you.

“I-I’m fine.” you managed to stutter. You now remembered why you didn’t like to drink as it was painfully obvious just how much of a light drinker you were. 

It was raining again, and the noises it was causing echoed in your dark room. Normally you would find the rain coming down calming, but it was drowning out everything else, which left you unable to carry on with your dreamless sleep. You laid in your bed and listened to it rhythmically hit the window for a while. It couldn’t be more than 6 o’clock, you thought since the sun had not fully come up yet. Your head was pounding, which really made you wish that you could go back to sleep, but you knew the possibility of that was very slim. As your eyes gradually got more and more used to the dark that surrounded you, snapshots of last night flashed before you. The whole night was somewhat of a blur to you, which you honestly didn’t have too much of a problem with. You actually kind of preferred to forget some of the things you had done merely hours earlier. Along with your pounding head, your throat was as dry as sandpaper, and you therefore decided to leave the comfort of your bed and go on a mission to put out your thirst.       

Barefooted you tiptoed through the apartment in order to avoid waking up Jin, but as you passed his room you could hear a low snoring coming from the other side of the door. A small smile formed on your face as your thought that not even an earthquake would be able wake him up. You envied his ability to sleep soundly.

The cold water hitting your dry throat had the wanted effect, and when you put down the cup you were a bit out of breath from drinking too eagerly. Your initial plan was to crawl back into bed once you had succeeded with the mission, but as you turned to go back to your room, a big growl made you notice your hunger. You went to the kitchen to make yourself some breakfast. You weren’t much of a cook, and if you could get away with it, you would have Jin cook all your meals. You therefore went with the simpler option when choosing what you wanted for breakfast as you picked out a few apples and a couple of other fruits. You started to cut them mindlessly after you had rinsed them in water. As you prepared your food your mind wandered off as the events from last night became less and less blurry to you. The conversations you had had with Jin became more detailed in your memory, and much to your disappointment his rejection to your proposal was a stand out. You could feel the hurt you had felt slowly returning.

“Shit!” The knife had slipped, and it was now your finger that were exposed to pain. The cut wasn’t that deep, but it was enough to make blood drip down your wrist. You looked around the kitchen for anything you could use to stop the bleeding, but without any luck.

“Oh my god y/n! Are you okay?” You hadn’t heard Jin entering, so he startled you.   

“Jesus, you scared me!” you said with a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry,” he walked up to you. “Let me look at that.” he said and referred to your injured finger.

“I’m fine. I don’t need you babying me.” you said with some irritation.

“I’m not,” he told you calmly. “I just know how you get whenever you see blood.” Why did he have to know you so well? You always got dizzy when you saw blood, so it was hard to argue against his logic. You sat on the kitchen counter as Jin went to go get a first aid kit. When he returned shortly after, you reluctantly accepted his care as he took your hand into his to further examine the damage. This was the first time you and him had made physical contact since you had danced, you thought. To be fair, it was not even that long ago, but as his hand brushed over yours it felt like it had been forever since you touched. In that moment, you realized that you had been longing to be close to him again from the second you let go of him.

“You should be more careful.” he said as he began to clean the wound.

“Don’t scold me. I’m not a child.” you clapped back.

“I never said you were.” he was still focusing on attending to your injury.

“But you’re treating me like one.” It had become so clear that Jin would never view you as a grown woman, a fact you wished you could change.

“I’m not,” he lifted his head and looked you in the eyes. “I just care about you and don’t want you to get hurt.” he said before returning to your finger. For the remainder of the procedure not a lot of words were exchanged between you, and it was only when Jin had put a band aid on you he spoke.

“I would kiss it better, but I wouldn’t want to offend you,” he teased you. “Besides, it would probably just make you sick again,” he nervously laughed. You had hoped that Jin would have forgotten, or at least pretended to forget, how you had stormed off to go throw up. You didn’t say anything, you just looked at him with a frown on your face.

“Tough crowd.” he said when you didn’t respond to his joke.

 “It wasn’t funny.” you said harshly.

 “Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed”

“I didn’t.” you said.

“Whatever you say, grumpy.” he said, not convinced by you.

“I’m not grumpy,” you were getting irritated. “I’m just… hurt.” Jin looked at you with empathetic eyes.

“Of course, it was a pretty nasty cut.” he had misunderstood what you were trying to say.

“I’m not talking about my finger, Jin.” you said in a more serious tone. A mixture of confusion and concern spread on Jin’s face.   

“What do you mean?” he cautiously asked you.

“God! You are so stupid sometimes!” you exclaimed in frustration. “It hurt that you didn’t want me.” Jin looked even more confused now.

“But you didn’t mean it. You were drunk.” he tried to rationalize.

“You know people are the most honest when they’re drunk.”

“Yeah, but surely you didn’t…” You interrupted him before he could finish the sentence.

“I did,” you looked down. “In fact, I still do.”  

“But I’m not what you want.” Jin said, baffled. He was so taken aback by your words that he didn’t know what to believe any more. Everything in him screamed that this was not really happening, and that he had just misunderstood what you said.

“And how do you know what I want?” you said angrily.

“I’m sorry. You’re right,” he said apologetically. “I just don’t want you to regret anything.”   

“I won’t. Not with you.” you reassured him.

“We might meet other survivors in the future.” He didn’t know why he was arguing with you the way he was since this was what he wanted.

“Even if we do, I still would want you.” Jin just looked at you, unsure of what to do next. He wanted to make the first move, but there was still something in him that was holding him back.

“Jin, please kiss me.” you finally pleaded. This was the push that Jin needed, and he leant in to finally accept you. He placed his hand on your cheek as he pulled you into his space and slowly started kissing you, pecking your lips gently. His fresh morning breath tasted so good, you thought, but before you could deepen the kiss he parted your lips for a moment and looked you in the eyes to make sure that this was in fact what you wanted. You sent him a smile and a slight head nod, which told him that it was okay for him to continue what he had started. You connected your lips once again, but this time it was more passionate. Jin’s other hand had traveled to your bare thigh, and his fingers were digging into your skin. The kiss was getting sloppier and sloppier as your tongues entangled themselves, and you wrapped your legs around his slim waist to pull him even closer to you. He started to kiss your jaw and then traveled to your neck where began to place wet kisses all over it. The tingling sensation of his affection sent a shiver down your spine, and you let out a soft moan. Jin had not expected your moan to sound so perfect, and it drove him absolutely insane. He couldn’t wait to explore your body more and make you moan his name.

“You’re so perfect.” he praised you. His words sent a shockwave of arousal through your already worked up body, and your core clenched around nothing. You were only wearing an oversized t-shirt, which barely covered your ass, so it didn’t take long for Jin to find his way down between your legs, and when his finger brushed over your clothed clit, you almost lost it at the feeling. You hadn’t really done much yet, but you were already feeling so needy. This Jin quickly noticed, so he started to rub your bundle of nerves, which caused you to whine even more.

“Tell me what you want.” he said, still caressing your sweet spot.

“I-I want you…,” It was hard for you to form the words due to Jin’s actions, “to make me cum.” A mischievous smile grew on the handsome boy’s face.

“What my baby wants, my baby gets.” he said before hooking his finger to the waistline of your panties, and yanking them down your legs, exposing you to him. He spread your legs wide open, so he could get the best view to your throbbing pussy. He kneeled down and worked his way up your inner thighs. He stopped and looked up at you just as he reached the much desired destination.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” he said with a tender voice.

“Me too.” you smiled at him as you ran your fingers through his dark hair.

He slowly began to kiss your wet folds, taking in all of your juices. You tasted so sweet, and he could eat you out like this all day if he got the change to, he thought. When he directed his focus on your clit and started to play with it with his warm tongue, you trembled, and he had to grab your thighs and keep them in place in order to keep from shutting close. You were becoming a panting mess, and it didn’t help that his index finger was roaming around your entrance, teasing you.

“God Jin!” you cried out as he inserted the first finger into you. It didn’t take him long to map out your inside and find the spot that made your back bend, and when he was sure you could take it, he added an extra finger. The stretch of his fingers throbbing in and out of your core felt like nothing you had experienced before. It was much better than anything you had ever made yourself feel, his long fingers reaching new dimensions in your pussy. The tension in the pit of your stomach was building up, and your grip on Jin’s hair got tighter and tighter.

“Please Jin,” you said breathlessly. “I’m close.”

“You’re doing so good, baby. Can you cum for me?” You didn’t get to answer as one last flick of Jin’s tongue sent you over the edge, and you came undone on his face and fingers.

Jin came up from between your legs and found your lips once again as he kissed you through your high, still fingering you. You clung to him as you rode out your orgasm.

Once you had come down, you and Jin locked eyes and started giggling at each other. It was hard to believe that this was actually happening, and that Jin had just given you the largest orgasm of your life, but it didn’t feel wrong in any way. In fact, it felt weirdly right.  

“Want to take this to the bedroom?” Jin asked with hunger in his voice. You nodded eagerly.

“I would like that very much.”

Jin lifted you off of the counter and held you tight in his grip as he carried you to his room. Once you entered the space Jin threw you on your back on his bed, and before descending on top of you he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his muscular upper body. You had seen him shirtless before, but you had never allowed yourself to really admire how well-made he was.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer.” he joked as he had caught you staring at him. A little embarrassed you said, “Just shut up, and kiss me, already.” He did as you commanded and kissed you deeply. He was laying on top of you, hands all over your body. You wanted him to feel your bare skin, so

you removed your own shirt, resulting in you now being completely naked. Unlike you, Jin had never seen you topless, let alone fully naked like this, so he was visually taken aback by your exposed body. You looked at him with a knowing look on your face, as if to point out his hypocrisy, but he didn’t care.

“God, you’re beautiful.” he said. You suddenly felt a bit shy under his intense glare, but that feeling quickly disappeared as he began to massage your breasts with great force. It was only when you adjusted yourself slightly under him that you felt him on your thigh and noticed how painfully hard he was.   

“Get on your back.” you told him. Jin was not sure of what it was that you were planning, but he nonetheless followed your command without hesitation. When he was in position, you began to unzip his pants, but before you could get any further he grabbed your hands.

“You don’t have to.” he said as he had figured out what you wanted to do for him.

“I want to,” you said truthfully. “I want to make you feel good and show you how much I want you.” He couldn’t argue with that, and he didn’t want to either. He would also be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasized about your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock on numerous occasions. He put his hands around his head and gave you the freedom to do whatever you wanted. After you had dealt with the zipper, you pulled off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. If his arousal wasn’t clear before, it was obvious now that his boxers did a very poor job at concealing it. You felt his bulge through the fabric, and you couldn’t wait to see what was under there. As you freed his cock from the boxers, it sprung up to hit his toned tummy. You had expected Jin to be packing, but you had never imagined that he would be this well-equipped, and just the sight of his erect member twitching in anticipation had you dripping. You took him in your hand and gave him a few pumps, which made him let out soft groans as drops of pre-cum were already dripping down the side of his shaft. You gently started to place kisses on his tip before you took him in and began to bob your head. You were a little nervous if you were doing everything the right way since this was your first time attempting anything like this, but Jin put his hand on your head to help guide you. You quickly found a good rhythm, and Jin’s loud moans gave you the confidence to keep going.

“You’re so good at that, baby.” he said breathlessly between growls. His praises turned you on as you continued to eagerly suck him dry. Taking him in deep and letting him hit the back of your throat, causing saliva to run down your chin. He closed his eyes in pleasure and threw his head back into the pillow. It had been so long since he had been pleasured by anything else than his own cold hand, so to have you perform like that on him was almost too much.        

“As tempting as it is, I don’t want to cum yet, baby,” he said. “Do you think you’re ready to take me?” You said that you were, and you switched positions again. Jin moved his cock up and down your slit to gather your wetness and roamed around your entrance.  

“Ready?” he asked you.

“Ready” You said back. He then proceeded to push himself into you, taking a few moments to fully adjust.  

“Tell me if I’m hurting you, okay.” You nodded in understanding, and he began to move slowly in and out of you. You did feel some pain in the beginning as you were getting used to him, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as you had thought it would be, and the good would soon outweigh the bad. Jin was gentle, and he would carefully watch you to make sure you were comfortable and not hurting. He was moving at a steady peace, not too fast. You thought he had stretched you out before with his fingers, but it was nothing compared to his large cock that was currently penetrating you row, and you loved the feeling of him filling you up so completely. You were beginning to feel so desperate for more that you unconsciously moved your hips fast against his. Your hunger for more surprised Jin, who had not expected you to take him so well your first time, but he nonetheless granted your silent request as he picked up the pace, and let his thrusts become more aggressive. He was hitting all the right places, and every time he did you let out resounding moans, the next one louder than the previous. Jin then lifted your legs and placed them on his shoulder, so that he could get at an angle that would allow him to reach even deeper. You looked so pretty all fucked out underneath him, he thought, and the sight of his length appearing and disappearing from your tight pussy had him euphoric.   

“You’re doing so fucking good, baby,” he said out of breath. “Taking me so damn well.” His praises had you clenching tightly around him, which made him groan almost beastly. He started to kiss your lips sloppily again before moving to your neck and then your sensitive nipples.

“Jin, please!” you wined his name as you were getting closer to your second orgasm this morning, and Jin knew it. He pressed his thumb to your clit, which just intensified everything that you were already feeling. Within seconds your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, and Jin had to hold you in place. He kept pounding in and out of you, now chasing his own high, which he reached shortly after as you felt his warm cum fill you up. He fell down next to you, and for a while you laid breathlessly beside each other without talking as you came to your senses. You then turned on your side, and gave him a tender kiss on his pink lips. You both sent each other a smile which were followed by soft giggles.

“How’s your finger?” he asked. You had momentarily forgotten all about your injured finger.

“It’s really bad.” you lied. Jin took your hand in his and lifted it to his lips and kissed your hurt finger over the band aid.

“And now?” He asked.

“I’m not sure.” you said in a mischievous voice. Jin scoffed at you, but he nonetheless kissed your finger again. When you didn’t look satisfied, he started to press kisses up your arm until he reached your neck.

“How about I make you some breakfast, then?” you nodded, and he kissed your shoulder before getting up. On that rainy morning you were so grateful that Jin had been your first, and that he would also be your last. 

a/n: thank you so much for reading. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable. Feedback would be highly appreciated.

[inadaydream99]

hello! if it’s okay, could i please request a skz reaction where they reject you but end up regretting it because they realized they really you? if it’s too much, maybe a member of your choice? thank you so much! and please do not rush! take as much time as you need!

Hi, thanks for requesting! I made this quite fluffy, but a few are angst and I also did all members because I couldn’t pick just one 😂 I really hope you enjoy!

Chan

The humiliation was real. Being rejected is more embarrassing that you think, especially when it’s by one of your friends.

You’d had a crush on Chan for a very long time. You’ve just never said anything until now in fear of rejection and, as it turns out, you should have just kept your feelings to yourself.

You couldn’t even look at him as you heard him mutter “I’m sorry.”, nodding your head in responce as it hangs low.

It’s been a few days since then and you’ve not stopped replaying the scene in your head since. Your mind is literally torturing you, making you cringe and you just end up stuffing your face into your pillow in a weak attempt at repressing it.

Just as you’re finally about to fall asleep you hear a knock on your front door, whining as you sit up on your bed before dragging yourself to see who could possible be visiting you.

Your breath hitches when you open the door to reveal Chan stood on the opposite side. He looks nervous, swinging back and forth on his feet impatiently. Your eyes lock instantly and for a minute you feel like you are dreaming.

“Do you believe in second chances?” He breaks the shocked silence, a relieved smile growing on his face when you nod yes, still in a daze.

“Then I’d really like to take that chance. I regretted letting you go without telling you how I really feel.” Chan continues, slowly becoming more confident and bubbly with each passing second.

“I guess you’ll have to tell me now then.” You tease with an elated grin on your face.

Minho

Minho hated himself for pushing you away. He hated himself for being the reason you are upset. But most of all he hated himself because he is so madly in love with you and he ruined any chance to tell you.

That is until he has an epiphany while moping around. If you won’t listen to him or respond to any of his messages, then he’ll just have to find a way to win you over, a way that you can’t ignore.

“I may not show it often, but you mean everything to me!” Minho shouts up to you from the middle of the street.

It 2am and freezing outside, but he doesn’t care. He’s finally been able to get your attention by throwing pebbles at your window and playing your favourite song on full blast through his speaker, what a cliché moment.

“I’m in love with you.” He shouts at the top of his lungs.

The cheesy grin on your face can’t possibly be hidden. You never thought you would ever see Minho do anything like this. Risking everything just to tell you how he feels.

“I love you too!” You shout back, letting all your worries go and just living in the moment.

“Can you two be quiet!” You hear a voice shout out. One of your neighbours must have grown tired of all the noise.

You both snicker at one another in giddy amusement, feeling like devious kids. Partners in crime.

You signal to Minho that you’ll be down in a minute, rushing out of your apartment and down the stairs to meet him in the blustering wind. Ready to start a new chapter together.

Changbin

“I never want to be the reason you’re hurting.” Changbin takes your hand in his, pleaing for forgiveness from you.

What had started off as a lighthearted conversation amongst the group had turned sour pretty fast. It all started because Seungmin asked Changbin if he would ever date you in front of everyone. It wasn’t intentional on Seungmin’s part to cause an argument, he thought it was quite a funny question to ask because you and Changbin have been best friends for so long. But when Changbin said “no” without even a seconds thought you were deeply hurt. Was there something repulsive about you to him?

“Then why did you reject me in front of everyone?” You defensively retort. You’re not impressed with him right now, and rightly so. But you can see the genuine regret he feels which makes it hard to stay mad for very long.

“Because I panicked... I didn’t want you find find out how I feel about you like that.” Changbin mumbles, feeling nervous in his confession to you. He knows that he has to be honest with you now because he can’t stand the idea of losing you completely.

“How do you feel about me?” You encourage him to continue, your body language becoming less defensive as you relax your shoulders.

“Like you’re the only person who’s opinion I care about, that you light up any room you enter instantly... that you are the only one I ever want to be with.” Changbin’s words are heartfelt and you can tell it’s taken a lot of courage for him to say them.

“I feel the same about you.” You manage to respond whilst holding back tears of joy.

Hyunjin

“So I overreacted, I do that all the time!” Hyunjin throws his hands up defensively, his excuse falling on deaf ears as he rants away to Minho.

“But you still rejected (Y/N), regardles of how you feel now.” Minho looks up from his phone to see Hyunjin’s reaction.

“Then what should I do?” He whines, dramatically falling against the table in distress. At least he’d finally stoped pacing the room.

“You go and appologise?” Minho sarcastically states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Hyunjin just mimickes him, annoyed by his lack of sympathy towards the situation. Though anyone would feel agitated when it’s all Hyunjin has gone on about for the last few days.

You stand in shock having answered the door to reveal Hyunjin and after ten minutes of him apologising and begging for you to give him a chance to redeem himself (a little too loudly for comfort), it’s your turn to speak.

“It’s gonna take a while to redeem yourself, but maybe we can try.” You agree, rolling your eyes playfully when Hyunjin crushes you in a tight hug, repeatedly thanking you for a second chance.

Jisung

“I did the one thing I promised myself I’d never do...” Jisung sighs in defeat. He can barely look you in the eye as he faces the consequences of his actions.

You’d initially been disheartened when he rejected you, but he was sympathetic towards your feelings and gently let you down rather than being too harsh. You even smiled through the pain and embarrassment, agreeing to not let it ruin your friendship.

But that was almost a year ago now. You have moved on from your crush on Jisung and recently started seeing someone new.

So when he suddenly confesses that he has feelings for you, you aren’t too sure how to react. Initially you feel mad because you feel loke he is messing with your emotions. But the longer you have to process the information, the more you understand where he is coming from.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re not happy, but seeing you with someone else hurts.” He continues, finally mustering up enough courage to look at you and take in your reaction.

“I don’t know what to say...” You sigh, watching as Jisung takes a deep breath and nod his head. He looks like he is preparing himself for rejection, just like he did to you, and that’s what makes it so hard for you to do.

“Regardless of my feelings towards you, I’m with someone else.” Your chest aches from seeing his solumn face, it’s just as painful being the rejector.

“Can I just know... if I’d not rejected you last year, would I still have a chance?” Jisung’s voice is shallow and weak, his eyes glossy from all the unshed tears.

You can no longer speak, feeling absolutely terrible, so you just nod yes, shooting him a meek smile.

Felix

Felix holds the cake outstretched in his hands, sending you a pleading smile. “I’m sorry.” He apologises, a hopeful look on his face.

You can’t help but crack a smile, laughing at your goofy friend.

“Felix why do you have a cake?” You raise your brow. Truthfully, you find the whole situation hilarious, only Felix would do something so endearing and sweet like bake you a cake when he wants to make things up to you.

“A good way to appologise is with cake.” He states like it’s a well known fact. “And I was kind of hoping that you’ll love the cake so much you’ll give me a second chance, because I really like you (Y/N).” He continues, catching you off guard. You’d never expected him to change his mind after rejecting you.

“Well, it is a really pretty cake... but are you sure?” You act coy, not wanting to give your feelings away in case he has another change of heart.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He admits confidently, an elated grin on his face when you accept the cake and grab his hand, dragging him into your apartment.

Seungmin

“I will fix what I have broken.” Seungmin is so determined to get you back that he almost sounds angry. Even Hyunjin flinches a little at his words, watching silently as Seungmin marches off to find you.

After having confessed to Seungmin a couple of weeks ago, you hadn’t spoken to him since. You just felt too embarrassed and awkward to face him and so your friendship crumbled.

“(Y/N) we need to talk.” Seungmin comes striding into your work, making the small office fall deathly silent.

“Seungmin I’m working right now.” You whisper, your eyes darting around the room self consciously to make sure no one is watching you.

“But it’s important.” He states, shooting you his best puppy eyes so you’ll give into him.

“Ugh fine.” You cave, ushering him into the empty room next door so you have some privacy.

“I like you.” Your eyes grow wide at his confession. Had you heard him right?

“But... you-”

“I know and I’m so sorry. It made me realise that there’s a part of me missing when you’re not around.” Seungmin anxiously explains. His demeanour has done a 180 degree flip now, he looks timid and nervous as he wait for you to process the information.

“I wish you’d realised sooner, but I guess better late than never.” You tease, feeling your heart skip a beat upon seeing Seungmin’s face light up with the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen.

Jeongin

“Caught off guard was an understatement.” Jeongin reasons, trying everything he has to get you to forgive him. But he’s the reason you’re heartbroken, he can’t keep playing with your fragile emotions like this.

“No, you had your chance. I can’t believe you have the audacity to make excuses like this. You humiliated me in front of all my closest friends.” You remain strong, your face void of any emotion, regeardless of how difficult it is to see Jeongin like this.

“Just give me a chance to make it up to you.” He begs. It’s almost pathetic how desperate he looks right now.

“Goodbye Jeongin.” You snarl, slamming the door shut in his face. Jeongin stands defeated on the opposite side of the door. He knows this is what he deserves, but it’s never nice to get a taste of what you dish out to others.

[elephart-hi]

The Mortal Maiden: Witch!Jude

Chapter 2: A Secret Sealed with a Kiss

set during The Cruel Prince.

(another sneek peek at my wip for this fic)

summary: Oh, he was making a show of himself for her she realized noting the way the light caught on the definition of his stomach. He wanted her to look at him. His lidded eyes seemed to say ‘aren’t I lovely’ and damn it if he wasn’t.

Rating: Mature but not explicitly till later chapters!

AN: I contemplated having this chapter be Cardan reading harry potter and Jude just spoiling the whole series and telling him everyone who dies just to spite him.... sighhhhh i had to make the hard decision and actually write the plot

also no beta for this chapter tee hee

Ao3 Chapter 1 you are at chapter 2 chapter 3

Cardan blinked at the vision before him. Once, twice. Then glanced at the goblet in his hand with a perplexed look on his face. He wasn't sure if he had accidentally poured himself the bottle he had mixed with his hallucinogenic powders. There was no way Jude Duerte would be standing in his room mid-day. She would be asleep in her chambers at the general’s stronghold.

He looked back at the vision in front of him and rubbed his eyes. Then he heard a scoff and saw her sneer at him with fathomless hate burning in her amber eyes. Now that seemed very real. He glanced at her hands and saw that the ring finger of her left hand was missing a digit. He started.

“You’re being rude.”

Cardan wiped his head in the direction of the door as he heard Darnal, the knocker laugh at her from the other side. Her nose crinkled and her brows pinched at the sound. She was cute when she was angry. And she was also definitely in his bedroom. Cardan tried to not let his mind wander to the many inappropriate fantasies he has had of this very scene but he was on his fourth bottle of wine and he was having a hard time reeling it in. He looked her up and down slowly, hoping it would make her mad enough to distract her while he grabbed his damned tail. He needed to get it under control before it made a fool of him.

“Aren’t you going to say something”

“I supposed I should, shouldn’t I?” he didn’t know what to say. He had no idea what she was doing here. He felt a smirk tug at his lips as his nerves continued to spiral out of control. His hand reached behind his back and grappled for his tail “Why are you in my room?”

“Why does your door know my name?” she gritted back, her lips curled into a snarl. She was clearly very annoyed, for what reason Cardan didn’t know. She was the one in his room after all… in the middle of the day no less. Shouldn’t he be the annoyed one? There she was barging in on him when he could have been sleeping for all she knew.

“Care for a glass of wine Jude?” he asked ignoring her question. He stood from his bed and poured more into his goblet; his tail secured within his pants. He had a feeling that he didn’t want to be sober for this conversation, although he had already become a distant stranger to sobriety since classes let out hours before, “You seem wound up, perhaps a drink will help you pull the stick out of your ass. Or, if this isn’t a friendly visit, I could call the guards for you. Though I’m afraid you will find them far less hospitable.”

He has a glass filled for her by the time he finishes talking. She looks more pissed than before, her amber eyes seemed to crackle like embers. She doesn't move to grab the glass from him so he tries a different approach.

“You’re the one who came to my room, Jude, claiming you didn’t want to interrupt me and that you could come back another time. Well let me assure you, you haven’t interrupted anything important, the book will still be there tomorrow to intrigue me, but you are only here right this moment. And I wouldn't want to inconvenience you with having to sneak back in again. So… what can I do for you?”

They seem to be having a staring contest because Jude’s gaze continues to bore into his own. She grinds her teeth refusing to reply, neither one of them willing to break first. She was impossibly cute with her face scrunched up in anger like that. His arm begins to tire from holding a glass out to her for so long. He heaves a sigh and starts lowering his arm when she speaks at last.

“Tell me why your door knows my name. That’s what I’ve come calling about.”

Cardan sighed heavily, his head falling back, annoyance prickling but altogether muddled by the wine. Muddled along with every other emotion he liked to drown in the drink. He takes another long swig from his own goblet, which escalates to him guzzling it down to the dregs. He sighs when he finishes and sets the empty cup on his tray of food. Then he finally goes to address her once more, the alcohol giving him the patience he needs,

“Oh my nightmare nemesis,” his words slurred a bit. He swayed briefly, then collected himself before continuing. “For you to have heard my door use your name, you would’ve had to already be at Hollow Hall, since he is bound to this manor. Yes? So tell me again, without any lies from your mortal tongue, what you brought you to my residence--”

He is interrupted by the ruckus made by the guards outside.

“Any sign of the thief?”

“No! She couldn’t have gotten far!”

Cardan snapped his gaze back to Jude, her face suspiciously neutral. Cardan called out to his door, tilting his head in its direction but keeping his eyes locked on her.

“Darnallll,” the knocker appeared on his door, silently waiting for a command, “find out what the appearance of the thief was from the guards, will you.”

“No need sire, I can tell you right away. The thief was a fairy of short stature, with horns, and yellow eyes. The woman had hair, not unlike your guest here, and was wearing a gown of the same color,” the knocker’s eyes glanced toward Jude, who kept her face decidedly cool. Cardan knows Jude is crafty, she may not be a fairy but she matched the description minus the horns, eyes, and ears. There was a possibility.

Jude pushed her hair behind her ears showing off the round curve of them while opening her eyes comically wide.

“All clear here, though I do envy their horns. It seems like I’m not the only one who snuck into the Manor today,” she nodded towards the door, “some guard he is.”

Darnal laughed at that, mischief glinting on his brass features, and said, “I found her lurking in a stairwell listening against the door trying to see if there was anyone on the other side. She said she was looking for trouble---”

“You asked if I was looking for trouble,” Jude interrupted, her brows pinched together, “I decided to amuse you, Darnallll, so said I was. I wanted to see where it would lead me.”

She had drawled the door’s name out and turned up her chin. That pride of her unwavering. She turned back to Cardan to finish telling him how it happened, “So he led me to your room telling me I could find trouble here… So there, now you know how I met your door and why I’m in your room.”

She came over to him and at last, grabbed the wine from his hand and raised it to him, “To trouble and friendly, although unexpected, visits,” she finished her small toast and took a deep drink.

“But it doesn't explain why you were already in the manor nor how you already knew that this was Cardan’s chamber,” the doorknocker added.

“I seem to recall you saying this would be the fun, kind of trouble, I would hardly call an interrogation fun,” Jude bit back at the door.

“And yet when you announced yourself you immediately began interrogating my prince.”

Cardan watched the two bicker as he poured himself yet another glass. He brought his free hand up and rubbed his temple feeling a headache coming on.

“Enough!” the glamour rippled in waves from his throat, amplified by the amount of fairy wine in his system. It hadn’t taken long for him to discover that fairy wine (and fruit) amplified the strength of his glamour, not with the copious amounts that he consumed each day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jude and the door stopped bickering at the sound of his glamour. His voice was low and rumbly, it radiated with power. Jude’s heart was racing in her chest. She knew she was doomed. She didn’t see any way to get out of this. Her knees felt weak. Cardan was going to turn her in. Then, he and Balekin would have a field day torturing her together as they tried to carve secrets from her flesh that they would never get. They would keep on carving her up, waiting for her to cave but the geas would render her unable to, even when the pain would make her desperate. Jude drank deeply from the wine he gave her, finishing the glass. If she was to be tortured then she would at least have the wine to dull the pain. She hummed as she felt her head start to swim and laughed to herself; at least she would appear to be able to withstand torture. Oh, trouble indeed.

She held her glass out to him for more wine. His eyebrow quirked at her but he complied instructing her to say when. She had him fill it to the brim.

“Well Jude, how did you know that these were my chambers?” Cardan asked her as she took another drink, his own words still slurring.

Jude laughed the wine making her lightheaded. She turned to look at the annoying door that doomed her and answered truthfully.

“Alice in Wonderland,” she said with her most annoying smile. If she was going to die anyway she might as well piss Cardan off one last time. Her last joy before she went to join her parents.

“I borrowed it from you, hope you don’t mind. It was one of the books my mother read to my sisters and me before we were whisked away to a wonderland of our own. However, Elfhame brings more terror than wonder truthfully,” the alcohol gave her loose lips but her head was light and she didn’t care. Perhaps this is why Cardan drank so much, she did feel quite relaxed. She spared him a glance and laughed.

Cardan had the most peculiar look on his face his mouth hung open and he had one finger poised in the air as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say. Jude decided she wouldn't give him a chance to.

“Darnal, you quite remind me of the talking door from the book. Although I find you more infuriating, perhaps it’s because you are trying to get me killed. I would like it if you were to stop that, I would very much hate to die.”

The door laughed at her words then spoke to Cardan, “looks like the wine did pull the stick out of her ass after all.”

“Oh hush you, don’t make me come over there,” to that the door magicked its face to another door in Cardan’s chambers and waggled his eyes at her as if to say come get me. Jude laughed again, it was such a nice thing to do. She turned to Cardan who still looked bewildered.

“Are you alright you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Are ghosts even real?” she rambled to him, a smile on her face. She would enjoy confusing him before he killed her. Her head was spinning from the wine, she took another sip as she waited for his response.

“I was wondering where that went,” his words came out quiet.

Jude scrunched her brows wondering what he meant and then realized he was talking about the book.

“Oh yes! Oak rather likes it,” she takes another sip, “So now you know why I knew it was your room... now you must tell me why your door knows my name. Also, there was a piece of paper with my name scribbled on it over and over again stuffed in the book. I don’t like you much either but my word! I’ve never furiously written out your name till I ripped the paper. That’s a bit much don’t ya think,” she hiccuped out the last word as Cardan’s face turned pink with rage.

“I think you’ve found more than enough trouble tonight, mortal, perhaps you shoul--”

Darnel starts laughing up a storm interrupting Cardan. Cardan turns and grabs the bottle of wine, drinking from the spout.

“Oh I don’t think she found nearly enough trouble,” Darnel said as Cardan guzzled the contents down, “Lady Jude, my prince sighs out your name day after day and scribbles it on parchment in an attempt to rid you of his mind--” Cardan spits the drink out choking on it, the wine ruining his shirt even more.

“Why you!” Cardan snarls out, anger showing on his face; Darnel pays him no mind and plows on.

“It’s why I referred to you as his maiden as well!” the door is laughing as he talks, “I wonder if he fanci----”

“I command you to leave at once!” Cardan’s glamour radiates the room. Immediately Darnel the door knocker vanishes from the room leaving them in silence. All Jude can do is stare as she watches his chest heave up and down.

Then she starts to laugh. Really truly laugh. A bellyaching, body-shaking laugh. She can't help herself. The idea is absolutely ridiculous and the wine makes it that much more fun. Jude bends over holding her stomach as she lets loose a snort. A SNORT! She forgot she even did that when she laughed hard. She hasn’t laughed like this since she was in the mortal world. It was when her dad had snorted up cheese at a Mexican restaurant; a comedian told a particularly funny joke. It had all been so funny that Jude laughed herself silly, till her abs were sore---

The memory sobered her up quickly as her laughs turned to little sobs and then… nothing. Armor locking around her heart once more. She coldly patted away the tears on her face and looked to Cardan who seem miserable and mildly concerned. He was leaning against his bed shifting on his feet, looking anywhere in the room but her. Perhaps his face went pink from embarrassment earlier rather than anger. Perhaps he does fancy her after all. A scheme took form in Jude’s mind.

“I suppose it makes sense… You had your goons strip me to my underwear and ask me who I wanted to kiss the most. Then you ordered me to tell you how much I admired you while I kissed your feet,” Jude referenced the incident with the fairy fruit. His head snapped to her at once.

“I did not tell Valerian to drug you, nor did I tell Niccassia to strip you! They did that of their own volition,” he urged her, eyes flashing with anger at her accusation.

“But you did ask me to kiss your feet and tell you how much I admired you.”

He averted his eyes again, ears drooping and cheeks flushed as he refused to meet her gaze. At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

“I have a deal for you Cardan,” he looked up at her, “I’ll give you a kiss if you promise to never tell anyone that you saw me tonight.”

“Only if you swear to tell no one of the note with your name on it or of anything you heard or saw in this room,” his response had a bite to it, he was angry. Jude supposed it was easier to be angry than embarrassed.

“Then we can both swear to secrecy instead. Forego the kiss altogether,” Jude countered, she put a bite into her own words. She saw something flash across his face that was gone an instant later. Disappointment?

“Aww unless you still want a kiss poor princeling,” she mocked him, the fading alcohol making her bold. He deserved it. ‘Boys are mean to girls they like’ was a stupid saying from the mortal world, if he liked her he should have been kind to her. She would mock him for this until they struck their bargain of secrecy. She would hold this over him. She would shame him for it.

“I didn’t say anything Jude, you’re the one who sounds like you want a kiss now, offering me not once but twice,” his infuriating smirk returned to his lips. She couldn’t stand him.

“Don’t be ridiculous! You are the one who fancies me, Cardan,” she seethed.

“Did you ever consider that I want to revenge Locke?” Cardan sneered, “the door was the one who implied I fancied you. I said no such thing.”

That did make more sense to Jude. Locke had stolen Cardan’s lover and now he wants to do the same to Locke.

“Then what good would swearing to secrecy do. He will never know that you revenged him.”

“I will. I would know of the revenge and you would know of it, and that’s fine by me. He isn’t worth the effort of rubbing it in his face. He can go about thinking he has bested me. I will know that he hasn’t and that he is the one who looks a fool.”

Cardan moved from his spot as he spoke and pulled his wine ruined sleep shirt from his body. He moved to a basin in the corner of the room and dipped a rag into the water, wiping the wine that still stuck to his body. His scars were in clear view of her from where she stood. She couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her lips.

“Once we strike our bargain it won’t matter that you’ve seen them,” he said in reference to his scars, “don’t bother asking.”

Jude didn’t know what to say, the memories of her last mission haunting her. She wondered what he would do if he knew she already knows how he got them. She went to sip her wine but her glass was already empty. She moved to the bed and placed her glass on his tray. When she turned around, she found Cardan an arm’s length away from her, using a new cloth to pat dry his chest. He didn’t look at her as he sat on the bed. He wasn't muscular persay, fairies don’t put on muscles the way mortals do. Even Madoc looked small next to a mortal bodybuilder. Cardan was skinny like all fairies were, but he had muscle Jude thought, eyeing the v-shape that trailed beneath his pants.

“You’re staring.”

Jude felt her face warm and she took a few steps back from the bed, putting space between them. She leered at him.

“Balekin makes me run drills with his guard since I’m so pitiful with a sword. Says I need to at least stay in shape. I hated it at first but then I started gaining even more attention from lovers, so I tolerate it now,” there was a grin pulling at his lips. Oh, he thought she was admiring him, that wouldn’t do.

“I was actually thinking of how you would look like a twig next to a mortal man, even I have more muscle than you do,” Jude said with a smirk.

His face fell into a scowl and she huffed a laugh at it. He probably hated that she just implied a mortal could be more attractive than him. Sure a mortal could be more muscular easily, but Cardan truly was handsome beyond reason, he made her head spin when she looked at him. Maybe it was the wine--- ughh she wished she could say it was the wine.

“Why would I want help you revenge Locke?” she said returning them to their previous conversation. Cardan huffs a laugh at her. His grin lighting up his beautiful face. How he was so perfect she didn’t know. He stretched his arms above his head, Jude tried not to notice the lean muscles there either, and then he leaned his back flat on the bed, his knees bent, feet still on the floor.

“Because he still lies with Niccasia, and he is to be wed to yet another lover. Locke is stringing you along Jude. So why not revenge him? Kiss the person you hate more than any other over him. Do it just because he is so foul and because he will never know that you did it to spite him. Just like you would have never known about either of his lovers till he broke your heart.”

His words stung. Jude didn’t love Locke but it still hurt. He was to be married. And he was still with Niccasia. She felt anger bubble up within her. Easier to feel anger than it was to feel hurt. Jude stood and she walked toward Cardan until she stood between his legs. He leaned up partway on the bed, resting on his forearms. Oh, he was making a show of himself for her she realized noting the way the light caught on the definition of his stomach. He wanted her to look at him. His lidded eyes seemed to say ‘aren’t I lovely’ and damn it if he wasn’t.

“Cardan,” she starts, his midnight eyes gleamed in the fairy light, “I swear to tell no one of your note with my name on it nor of anything I heard or saw in this room tonight if you swear to tell no one you saw or spoke to me,” her voice an arctic whisper as she held her hand out to him. He leaned forward to grasp her hand in his larger one.

“I swear it, Jude,” she could smell the magic as surged bounding him to his vow. She had magic to ensure he was faithful to his promise, but he had to trust her on good faith alone. Her head was spinning but she knew it wasn't because of the wine; it was from what she was about to do. Jude took a deep breath before the magic took its final hold and spoke.

“Then seal it with a kiss”

Next Chapter

[cl-01-kestis]

The Proposition

Dismay - Grand Admiral Thrawn x Rebel!Reader | Part 10

Summary: You seem to be growing closer to Thrawn with each day that goes by as you’re kept prisoner on Lothal, and after spending a late night with him, you receive an interesting invitation.

Warnings: this is a pretty long chapter, alcohol consumption

Cheunh Translations:

Nah = No

Mar = Yes

It was day 4 of being Thrawn’s ‘guest’. You’d grown accustomed to the monotone colours and lack of untidiness in the chamber you were cooped up in. Your holodevice had been repaired, you got it back last night and left it on your nightstand so you could use it in the morning when Thrawn woke up and went to do his job as Grand Admiral.

The feeling of waking up beside Thrawn every morning was something you had adjusted to very quickly whilst being held by the Empire. Neither of you would be touching, you’d be in your own sides of the bed, but your bodies would still be fairly close. He held you whenever you had a nightmare, or couldn’t get to sleep (mostly any chance he got to).

Today was Benuday, you knew because you were trying your best to keep track of the days that went by and the limited time you had left with Thrawn before the rebels made an attempt to rescue you. This morning, he made you breakfast but unfortunately didn’t have time to wake you up due to how busy his schedule was for today, so you woke up alone and in a cold bed. But hey, you got breakfast.

Thrawn wasn’t in his chambers when you showered and done your usual routine of walking around aimlessly and scrolling through your data pad. He left you a note in Cheunh saying that he was requested at the cock pit and wouldn’t be back for a while, so you had no other choice but to lounge about.

You thought a lot about how much you missed your daughter, and as well as Kallus and all the other rebels back on Yavin. It hadn’t even been a week and you hated it, you hated the Empire. But Thrawn’s company was the only medication to distract you from all the negativity you were experiencing. He comforted you when you were feeling upset, laughed with you at corny jokes, uttered a smile whenever you done literally anything, stole glances from you every chance he got, and treated you as an equal rather than someone below him.

The only thing that brought you peace at this moment in time was the fact that Thrawn hadn’t changed one bit. The only difference was his ageing appearance and wiser-sounding vocabulary. Aside from those things, he was the same boy deep inside you always knew and grew up to love. Now that was comforting.

As well as spending time with each other whenever he didn’t need to work and catching up on the 14 years the two of you were apart, you truthfully opened up to Thrawn about Omani. You told him her interests, stories you remembered of her whe she was a baby, the things she hated, what she wanted to be when she became an adult, and all the small details Thrawn had missed out on for so long. In a sense, you felt like you robbed him from fatherhood, he was so fond of having a family, only to miss out on his daughters entire childhood. It felt wrong.

He didn’t seem to show any signs of anger or disappointment towards that, but then again, he was excellent at hiding things, especially his emotions. Either way, he was infatuated by your stories of Omani’s birth, the things you went through during labour, all the hardships and trauma, but she was a healthy baby girl. When you told him that, his eyes sparkled. You could tell he already truly loved her, and he hadn’t even meet her yet. You hoped he would get the chance one of these days.

The little squeaky gurgles of a 6 month old Omani blasted out of the speaker of your holodevice as it projected a video you had kept for years, one of many that logged videos and photos of Omani’s growth and all the things she was up to throughout her childhood. In the video you were watching, you, looking much younger, had her perked up on your hip and swayed about as a song echoed in the background. You looked at the camera which was set down on a table in the cantina on the rebel base at Yavin 4, bouncing her on your hip and holding one of her tiny blue hands, her fingers wrapping around one of yours, proving how small she really was.

Ahsoka was in the background, not in the video much but you spotted her laughing and encouraging Omani to dance as she wriggled in your arms. At this time, she would’ve been talking by now. No other words apart from ‘Mama’, ‘Nah’ and ‘Mar’. But she laughed a lot in the videos, her cheeks bright and her face glowing as she looked up at you and tried to grab your hair with her small hands.

Thrawn sat beside you in his bed, his shift was finally over and he joined you in watching the videos on your holodevice. So far, he was absolutely loving it. His smile outshone everything in the room as he watched a younger version of yourself dance with your, then, 6 month old daughter. His smile seemed to widen every time you or Omani laughed, and whenever you took her hand and waved it at the camera.

The two of you watched a few videos of Omani’s childhood, heartfelt laughter and stolen glances rippled between you and Thrawn as you watched each video with a sense of comfort. There was currently one of Omani as a 7 year old, holding your device and walking around your apartment with a big smile on her face. You remembered this video well, it was for your 35th birthday and she surprised you that day by waking you up with a surprise. Her small giggles echoed from the speaker as she started jumping on your bed, and in a flash she was tackled to the mattress and you were blowing raspberry’s on her neck and cheeks, your hands tickling her sides which caused her to drop the camera at a perfect angle where the both of you were seen toppling over the bed and into the floor, you taking the impact of the landing and making sure she didn’t get hurt as you cradled her in your chest.

“You’re truly protective over her” Thrawn comments with a light tone, leaning on his elbow as he relaxed on his covers. He was still wearing his Admiral uniform, he was too curious to see what you were watching than to change first.

“She was so clumsy as a kid, I always had to watch out for her,” You smiled. “Scraping her knees was a constant” You commented, feeling your heart swell with sadness as you remembered how upset Omani got every time she tripped up and fell over. You and her were very similar, you fell over a lot as a kid - Thrawn could confirm - and one time you even face planted and left a small scar on your upper lip, one that isn’t even visible but if you pointed it out, someone would notice.

“I understand that, was she an active child?” Thrawn asked curiously. In reply you rolled your eyes and let out a chuckle.

“Active is an understatement, she was uncontrollable in some aspects. There were times she got stroppy though, if she didn’t get her way, and those were the times it was hard to be a parent,” You sighed. “She was a very fragile kid, if she didn’t get her way she would start getting angry and kicking her feet” You paused the video playing on your device, looking to Thrawn who was staring up at you from his position on the bed. He had his head tilted to the side very slightly, an eyebrow raised but not in an insisting manner.

“I think she gets that trait from you” You smirked, intending for the comment to be brushed aside but Thrawn huffed once he heard what you had said. “I admit I was a stroppy child, but I grew out of that phase quickly” Thrawn defended himself, leaning his head back on the mattress and moving his elbow away to cross his arms over his chest, looking up at the ceiling and immediately contradicting his words as he pursed his lips. You didn’t say anything, laughing instead and biting your tongue to make sure you didn’t say anything that would make him more agitated.

“Aside from that though, she grew up a lot quicker than I anticipated. One day, she’s this little bundle of joy in my arms, the next she’s a fully grown woman with her own blaster in her hands” You sighed in a mellow manner, hanging your head and doing your best not to let the facts upset you. Thrawn sat up from his position on the bed and hesitantly rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Childhood always slips by much quicker than everyone expects. Adding onto that, she’s a Chiss as well, and our childhood is shortened by 4 years compared to yours” Thrawn explains. You know about the Chiss ageing system, you’ve always known it, but something about Thrawn saying it made you calm down and come to terms with the fact that Omani was a different species compared to you, she was half human but her genes were dominated by Thrawn’s, there was no denying it. She aged the same as him, spoke the same as him and looked exactly like him, but her face structure and habits were all taken from you. That was about the only thing that made you two related. But either way, no matter how much she looked different compared to you, she was still your little girl.

Both you and Thrawn agree - and have spoke about a few times - is that Omani was unexpected in the best way possible. You certainly didn’t plan on being a mother for a long time, or ever. Thrawn wasn’t in a good position to be a father and if anything, you shouldn’t have been parents at all. But because of your escape, and because of your decision to have a child, you’ve grown into the best version of yourself that you could ever be. Omani’s brought out the goodness inside you, she made you forget about the person you used to be back in the Empire, back when you tortured and killed people unapologetically. She made you see things clearly, and because of that you were complete. You didn’t fear anything, not after giving birth and raising Omani up until she was 14. You hoped Thrawn felt the same.

“What time is it?” You asked, closing over your holodevice and setting it down on the bedside table before looking back to Thrawn with a tired gaze. He looked over at the alarm on his table and sighed.

“17:45, we should probably get ready for bed” Thrawn yawned, running his hand through his hair and immediately messing it up. He ruffled his navy strands, ruining the sleek gel look he always wore. You felt privileged to see it in all honesty, no one else saw him in this type of way apart from yourself. Well, back at the academy Eli saw him like this as well whenever you three sparred in the training rooms, but you didn’t have a problem with that.

Coming to think of it now, where was Eli?

You frowned as the thought came across your mind, and all of a sudden you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You had been so focused on building up a sturdy commonality with Thrawn once again that you didn’t even realise who else was missing. Eli.

“H-hey, quick question” You spoke up as Thrawn stood up to head to the refresher.

“Yes?” He raised a brow, his back turned to you as he took off his Admiral top, revealing his thin black vest that hugged his muscular form beneath.

“I meant to ask this sooner, but where’s Eli?” You felt nervous about asking, but you were eager to know.

Eli was such an important part of your time at the academy. Yes, Thrawn was very important to you back when you trained there but Eli was your best friend, through thick and thin. He was a human that spoke Cheunh ontop of that as well, and he became a massive part of your life back at the Empire. You didn’t see him much after you graduated because you had your own squad but there was the occasional time when the both of you caught each other at the cantina and stayed there, talking till you were both kicked out.

Thrawn stayed quiet for a while, his body going stiff but eventually he cleared his throat and let out a plain, emotionless sigh.

“He was transferred many years ago to another commanding officer” Thrawn’s voice was oddly upsetting, he seemed depressed by just talking about the issue, you ended up feeling bad about even asking about it.

“The Emperor felt that he was distracting me too much from my duties as Admiral, at the time, and Eli was transferred, I’ve never heard from him since” Was all Thrawn said before walking out of his bedroom and leaving you alone to bask in your thoughts and brainstorm his answer.

“The... Emperor?...” Your voice trailed off, hand reaching out but eventually coming back down as his words dawned on you.

The Emperor.

-

When Thrawn came back to his bedroom, you were in the kitchen preparing yourself a drink, an alcoholic one. Thrawn didn’t have many spirits in his cupboard, he mostly had Caf pods, milk, tea bags, and Dasani water. But you managed to find an expensive bottle of Spotchka at the back of the cupboard, hidden away for no one to find, but due to the glow of the blue neon beverage, you spotted it immediately. You poured yourself a small glass, making sure not to spill any considering it looked and smelled like it costed more than Thrawn cared to admit, but you didn’t pour too much in case he was saving it for a special occasion.

Putting the lid back on and screwing it tightly to make sure no spillage would occur, you turned around and leaned lazily on the kitchen counter, holding onto the half full whiskey glass. You carefully sipped at the blue liquid, the sharp taste hit your taste buds but you didn’t cringe or spit it out. Spotchka was a drink you weren’t very familiar with, you hardly ever drank considering you were Imperial in your younger years and done nothing but work, and then after that you were a mother, so there was no time to sit around and get drunk. You weren’t saying you’d never had a drink before, you did. You just never really got drunk.

“I see you’ve found the spotchka” Thrawn’s voice startled you, almost causing you to spill the drunk but thankfully it didn’t tip over the edge as you regained your posture.

“You need to stop sneaking up on me” You chuckled, placing your free hand on your chest and taking another sneaky sip of the Spotchka in your glass. Thrawn smiled, removing the wet towel which was hanging over his neck and bundling it up in his large hands. He was now in his lounge wear, black vest and joggers with wet hair and tired eyes. Even you couldn’t deny, the man looked like a kriffing god. He could do nothing and look absolutely incredible, even at his age of 47. You admit, you were jealous he even looked that good, you wish you looked the same as you did 14 years ago but motherhood wasn’t kind to you.

“I think I’ll join you” He said, walking up beside you and getting himself a glass of his own, opening up the bottle and pouring himself some Spotchka. Turning around and leaning on the counter to match your position, he raised his glass close to you. In return, you raised your own and clinked it softly with his, offering a small ‘cheers’ before sipping at the blue drink. Thrawn took a generous sip before clearing his throat and rolling his head around his shoulders, sighing in relief at the sound of popping as his tense muscles relaxed. You copied his actions with a smile, using the base of your palm to push your chin to the side and crack your neck.

The two of you shared a moment of blissful silence, happily drinking at your Spotchka as your shoulders touched. Neither of you moved away, occasionally sneaking glances at each other but not enough to make the moment awkward. Nothing was ever really awkward between you both, everything always happened naturally and nothing was ever forced.

“You know, I have a proposition for you, if you’d like to listen?” Thrawn spoke after Maker knows how long, swirling the remaining Spotchka in his almost empty whiskey glass as he turned his head to look at you. In return, you nodded whilst finishing off your own drink, hiking it back before placing the glass on the counter and looking up to Thrawn.

“There’s an event, tomorrow night at the Imperial Palace. Many people, including myself, will be going,” He started, crossing his ankle over the other as he finished off his drink and placed it next to yours.

“Many Senators and other parties will be attending- I- I was thinking maybe you might want to go with me as my... partner?” Thrawn sounded so nervous, you weren’t even sure it was him you were speaking to. You spent a few seconds thinking about it. An Imperial Party, with Senators and full of people You loathed. But ontop of that, you’d get to go with Thrawn and maybe make a statement about being a rebel and also being his partner for the night. But then again, you couldn’t be too sure that being a rebel would be your role at the party. If that were the case, an assassination would surely take place.

“It sounds good to me, but aren’t I your prisoner?” You raised a reading brow, nudging his side softly as he looked away and blushed very slightly.

“You were a prisoner when Pryce was in control of you, but with me you’re a guest,” Thrawn answered.

“I’d never see you imprisoned like that again, Rcati, seeing you like that in the prison cell made me angry but also scared” Thrawn was genuine with his words, but you could tell he was careful with the way he constructed his sentences. He was more than angry and scared, you knew it, he was just too hesitant to admit it. Either way, you didn’t force him to open up about anything and by the looks of it, he knew you knew he was holding back with his words.

“In that case, sure, but what happens when I meet people and they ask me my occupation? Haven’t I been missing for 14 years?” You chuckled dryly, still looking at Thrawn who sighed and turned to directly look at you.

“The people attending the ball aren’t part of the team on Lothal, so no one will know who you are apart from me, and Pryce if she’s going” Thrawn explained with a calm exterior, gesturing words with his hands and rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat.

“Hmm... okay...” You hesitantly agreed. “But what about an outfit? I’m not too fond of showing up in an Imperial uniform” You frowned, fiddling with the hem of your shirt which belonged to the man standing beside you. He rolled his eyes and nodded his head, arms still folded as he blew a loose strand of hair away from his eyes.

“I’ll have a tailor come down and get your measurements now, we’ve got little time to get everything organised” His arms fell back down to his side as he sat up from the counter and walked out of the kitchen to fetch his coms device. Sighing, you took both of the empty whiskey glasses and cleaned them out, leaving them on the dryer as you let out a small yawn and left the kitchen to see where Thrawn had gone.

By the time the tailor had arrived, you had washed up in the refresher and had your hair up in a bundle as you stood in the middle of the room with barely anything on. Thankfully, Thrawn had his back turned to you, sitting in his chair and analysing work from days prior as you got measured for your dress. You were wearing nothing but a pair of briefs and a bra that Thrawn managed to get for you. The tailor was a woman in her mid 50’s, greying hair and very delicate fingers as she wrote down each of your measurements with intricate detail. You held in a gasp every time the cold sashe of tape wrapped around a part of your body, from your hips, to your arm, to your legs. She measured absolutely everywhere, but you didn’t say anything.

“So, what design are you looking for, my dear?” The tailor asked, you were almost startled by what she called you but then you remembered she didn’t know you were a prisoner.

“J-just a simple gown thank you, I’m not too fussed” You reply shakily, rubbing your upper arms at the cold as the tailor started sketching ideas on her notepad whilst switching her glance from the paper to your body shape. You felt very exposed, shivering in the cold as you done a little awkward tapping motion with your feet in an attempt to warm yourself up.

“I’ll work right on it, my dear, what’s your shoe size?” The tailor asked. “Oh, I’m a (S/S)” You replied with a smile, picking up the black T-shirt from the ground and slipping it back on.

“Is there anything else you request, Grand Admiral?” The tailor asked with a clear, confident voice. You shuffled in your spot and crossed your arms as Thrawn turned back around in his seat, looking prepared to cover his eyes in case you were undressed, but relaxing once he realised you were dressed again.

“That’s all, thank you” He dismissed the tailor with the wave of his hand and in a flash, she was out of the room without another word with her tape and scribbled notes.

“Well that was riveting” You joked, your teeth chattering as you tried warming yourself up. Thrawn closed his data pad and stood up from his seat, making his way over to stand at your side and smile.

“Is it always this cold here?” You complained, frowning slightly as you continued rubbing your arms and clenched your jaw unconsciously. Thrawn rolled his eyes instinctively at your comment, unexpectedly scooping you up in his arms and, without a word, carrying you to his bedroom and dunking you on the mattress. You didn’t say anything, too taken aback by his actions as you lay on his bed with a shocked expression. Thrawn hid a smirk as he looked at your face, placing the covers over you and patting your shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

“Aren’t you coming?” You yelled out to him with a confused frown. “I’ve still got work to finish!” He replied from the main office.

“But You finished work two hours ago?!” You yelled back, sitting up in his bed and cupping the sides of your mouth so your voice could project further.

“You keep forgetting I’m the person in charge of this facility, Rcati!” Thrawn said, this time a chuckle in his voice as he replied to your eager sounding question. Sighing at his answer, you lie back down on the mattress and close your eyes, eventually slipping into unconsciousness as the silence surrounded you.

Thrawn listened carefully from his office, his eyes looking at the open door even though he couldn’t see you. He heard soft snoring a few minutes after your loud exchange of words and he smiled to himself, pausing his work to admire you, and just you. He didn’t want to move from his spot in case you heard his footsteps, but he wanted to see your face.

Thrawn was in a dangerous position. Each and everyday you were with him, his feelings for you grew uncontrollably. Everything you did drowned him with undeniable affection and he knew that it wasn’t a good thing. Loving you came at a price, if someone from the Empire or New Republic found out about the way he felt towards you, his career and life would he on the line. It wasn’t that he prioritised his work over you and Omani, he was just scared in case either of you bit the dust undeservingly.

For the time being, he had to keep his distance.

-

It was the day of the party. After 11 hours of sleep, you woke up to find Thrawn packing clothes for the trip ahead. He didn’t have work today due to the party and the limited time both of you had to get to Coruscant on time.

“Are you sure this is appropriate for a woman my age?” You asked the tailor who suited you in a black dress. You couldn’t believe that she had made this dress in under 24 hours, it was so beautiful and elegant, but you felt like you were looking at another person as you stared at yourself in the body sized mirror in front of you.

“Nonsense, my dear, you are going to a ball after all” The tailor replied, tightening the thread on the corset that wrapped around your waist comfortably, but at the same time you felt very sucked in.

Thrawn was out of his chambers, fetching his medals to wear on his Admiral Uniform at the party to obviously show to others that he was important. The thought made you roll your eyes. Typical Thrawn.

The tailor sorted your hair out naturally, placing a black headpiece on your head and adjusting it until she was happy. You looked like a Senator, but you were comfortable with that. She fitted you with jewellery and two long, black gloves that reached your upper arm, as well as a pair of black heels.

You looked and felt different, this was different than all the other Senator outfits you wore throughout the past years, you no longer felt like a New Republic Senator. You looked like an Imperial, and you hated that. Your worse fear was for someone from the Rebellion to find yku looking like that, and also being with Thrawn. You’d be considered a traitor and no one would trust you anymore, that frightened you. This whole ordeal made you uneasy, you weren’t sure why you agreed to do it in the first place, maybe boredom? A need of new enviromnent? You couldn’t exactly remember.

You flattened the material of the dress skirt with your palms, avoiding the chance of your nails catching the material as you sighed at yourself in the mirror.

“Thank you for everything, this is truly beautiful” You thanked the tailor as she finished up on your dress, smiling at you through the reflection before taking a step back and bowing politely to you. You unconsciously done the same which earned you a large smile from the tailor who seemed impressed at your kindness towards her. No more words were exchanged as she took her belongings and had a stormtrooper escort her out of the room. The soldier clad in white armour looked at you for a brief second before clearing their throat and excusing themselves out of the room and the door sheathed shut.

You looked around Thrawn’s office, pulling the dress skirt up and trying not to trip over yourself as you walked over to his office table and pulled out one of the drawers. Your assumption of him keeping a blaster under his desk was confirmed and you didn’t hesitate for a moment as you hiked the skirt of your dress right up to your hip, with great difficulty, and tucked it into the stockings you were wearing. Once you were all set, you checked your appearance before Thrawn returned and escorted you to the ship which would be taking the two of you to Coruscant.

[wickedgamesoyaoya]

okay hi its me again 💃💃 anw, an angst to fluff quote no 11 atsumu written hoho <33

Christmas lights decorated the dimly lit pathway that led to the heart of the city, which was temporarily transformed into ‘Santa’s Square’. The trio of Christmas colours glimmered against the freshly fallen snow that bathed the cement, masking the imperfections that are usually quite visible during the warmer seasons. With the bottom of your boots, you traced the initials “M.A” into the ground below, as a faint smile adorned your features.  There were a few reasons you found yourself captivated by the white substance rather than the displays surrounding you. You admired how its presence alone could turn what is fractured and unpleasant into something beautiful and admired. But you also were thankful for its existence. Despite the surge of emptiness that came with the holiday season, the snow would greet you with such joy, that you would forget you were completely and utterly alone.

As an icy wind collided against your face, dragging along with it a patch of snowflakes, your fingers twitched inside your crocheted mittens. Though, your reaction was rooted solely in your surprise – there was nothing unpleasant about the sensation. Rather, the icy substance soothed your swollen features, a consequence of spending the last thirty minutes silently sobbing to yourself. Rubbing away at the melted snowflakes clinging against your cheeks, the fiery ache that ignited inside of your core fell silent, subdued by the act of compassion by mother nature herself.

It was nothing new after all, each year had become a repeat of the last, until you were stuck in an endless loop. Christmas time could never be what you truly wished for, at least not until you found a new family – one that was not cursed with poisoned shadows they called souls.

But it was supposed to be different this year – you could have survived it all, as long as he was there.

As long as he showed up.

The glimmering fairy lights hung against the streetlamps reminded you of that smile of his, the one that matched the radiance of the sun itself. Another set of tears struck your waterline, yet this time you refused to allow their release. You knew dating a pro volleyball player would be difficult, and this was certainly not your first time spending a holiday alone. And instead of continuing to wallow, you directed your mind to focus on the euphoric aura enveloping the Christmas festival. Dozens of families roamed the square, their laughter lacing into the traditional melodies that were sung by the choir with such cheer. Maybe one day you would join them, creating new traditions of your own, alongside your pretty setter.

Yes. Maybe one day.

The thought brought a sad smile to your lips as you lifted your gaze to the heavens, permitting the snowflakes to sprinkle against your face.

For now, this would be enough, as long as the snow remained by your side.

“Oi. Y/n! What’re you doin’?”

Your y/e/c irises expanded in size as you whipped your head in the direction where the sound originated from. Disbelief painted your features, leading your mouth to slightly open at the male rushing towards you.

“Are ya tryna get sick?” Atsumu growled out the words in disappointment between his uneven breaths, waving the scarf in his hand like a flag in the air. “Why would ya leave without this!” When he finally reached you, the male exhaled a long sigh, while draping the knitted piece around your neck.

“‘Tsumu… How did you…” With your eyes soaking in his delicate features, your bottom lip wobbled, prompting the resurfacing of the tears you banished minutes prior.

“I went to yer house and yer sister told me what happened. You think I’d miss another Christmas? I already feel bad I missed our first two…” His fingers worked to fasten the scarf around you, while a small pout twisted upon his mouth. “Now I find ya crying in Santa’s Square? I really have been a terrible boyfriend. Please let me make it up to ya.”

“It’s okay…You being here is enough.” Overwhelmed by the pleasure that swarmed you from his presence, you slipped your arms around his middle, before burying your face into his chest. But Atsumu’s heart sunk into his stomach hearing the tremble in your voice. He should have been there earlier – he should have been there to comfort you when it all went wrong. You had done so much for him, you always stayed despite the hardships that came with dating him.

“Hey, y/n.” As he brushed his palm against your back, a tender kiss was applied to your head. “I’m sorry for not being there. But I promise I won’t let ya go through this alone again. From now on, it’ll be you and me, baby. We’ll make our own traditions.”

Atsumu did not know the significance of his words, soothing you with his words and presence came natural to him. That was why you stayed, there was no one who could impact you in sucha way. All the loneliness was worth it, as long as you had him waiting for you at the end of the day.

“Can we start today?” The question was asked in a whisper after you adjusted your stance. The blonde blinked down at you curiosity clear in his irises, and within seconds he broke into a large grin.

“Hell ya! Let’s make some memories.”

The remainder of the evening was filled with adventure, and for the first time in years, you were able to escape the cycle of loneliness that came attached to the holiday season. The worries that clouded over you were no match for the harmonic laughter of your boyfriend, who was goofily engaging in every activity the festival offered. The last activity on the setter’s imaginary list was to take a photograph with Santa. The lineup mostly contained young children, albeit that did not stop the blonde from entering, dragging you along with him.

“I know you want a photo together, ‘Tsumu but why can’t we just ask someone to take one of us in front of a tree or something?” With the recent temperature drop, your mittens were no longer a source of warmth. Right now, what you desired was to cuddle by a fireplace with your boyfriend.  

“Where’s the fun in that?” Atsumu snuck his arms around you, aiming to provide you some of his body heat before resting his chin against your shoulder. “I told ya I wanna start some traditions. This will be one of them.” Exhaling a barely audible breath, he nuzzled into your cheek.

“Can’t we make a tradition of drinking hot chocolate and snuggling instead?” You appreciated his determination to have a perfect Christmas experience, but you could easily achieve that without sitting on a stranger’s lap. “Why a photo of Santa, hm?”

“I wanna have something to track the years. For the next few years it’ll jus’ be us. But one day there will be mini Miya’s joinin’ us. I don’t know. Don’t ya think that’d be cute?” Soon his cheeks were coloured in embarrassment, a fact he tried to hide by pressing his face against your scarf.

“Atsumu, I hate you.” Jutting your bottom lip, you covered your face with your palm, letting out a childish whine. “We’re next in line and now I’m about to cry! You big oaf!”

Overcome with emotions himself, he tightened his grip around you. “Well, our future kid is gonna be real curious about this photo!” Chuckling lowly, he nudged you forward as the costumed Santa beckoned you over. Truthfully, you were no longer opposed to the idea, and when Santa suggested you sit on his lap, you complied. Atsumu, on the other hand simply leaned against the large chair, grinning contently.

Just before the photo was taken, you stole a glance at your boyfriend, with love warming your features.

You see, Miya Atsumu was your snow. While his presence alone could disguise the pain sewn into your sleeves, it was his love that could heal the wounds of your heart. And just like the snow, he would be there every Christmas, reminding you that you would never be truly alone.  

A/N: IDK 🤧🥲 BYE LMAOOOOO I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS 

General taglist:  @haikyuufairy  @newfriendjen @chocolaterumble @lvoejimin @moonlightaangel @gyozaaaaa @byun-nies @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @graykageyama @amberalisa @yourstarvic @swoonhui @chaichai-the-weeb @dreamstormings @chibishae34 @haikyuusimp91 @volleybloop  @rajablast @idiot-juice-enthusiast @melonmayhere @cuddlesslut  @athenarosaline

[psychovigilantewrites]

Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2

Wordcount: 10,129

A/N:  I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!

TW:  mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety

Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao

memeesss

You glanced at your phone.

It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.

Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.

Of course he wouldn’t text you first.

You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.

It was driving you crazy.

“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.

You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.

“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.

“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”

“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.

“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.

“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”

You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.

“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”

“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”

“Why don’t you text him first?”

“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”

“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.

“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”

“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.

Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.

You: Miss me yet?

Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.

“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.

But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.

After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.

Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS

You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.

“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”

He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.

“Alex-!”

He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.

You froze in horror.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.

“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.

“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.

“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”

“Fuck off!” you snapped.

Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.

No. No, no, no, no.

This was bad.

You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.

He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.

You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.

Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:

Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??

Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.

Jason: ???

Snapping out of it, you texted back.

You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I’m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.

You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.

Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.

You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.

You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.

“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”

“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.

“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.

Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.

You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.

Ding.

Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.

You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.

Of course, he never did.

Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.

You: Do anything interesting since I left?

You saw him typing almost immediately this time.

Jason: no.

Of course not.

You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.

God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.

Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE

You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.

You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!

Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.

Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude

Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.

Jason: teach me how to do that

Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.

***

“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.

“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.

Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.

“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”

“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”

“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”

“Texted?!”

“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”

“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.

“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.

“Last Sunday.”

So the same day you started texting him, then.

“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.

“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”

“Yeah,” he lamented.

“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”

You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.

Ugh, you were so fucked.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.

Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.

Shirtless.

Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.

“Uh, wh-what are you..?”

He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.

“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.

“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”

“What, this? This isn’t for me.”

“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.

“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”

“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.

Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.

You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.

No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.

“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.

“No, shut up,” you looked away.

“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”

“What?”

“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”

“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.

You got up and went over towards him anyway.

Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”

But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.

“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.

Oh, no. Oh, fuck.

He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.

You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.

“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.

“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.

That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.

“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.

You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.

“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.

“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.

You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”

“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.

“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.

“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.

“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”

Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.

Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.

“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.

“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.

“You tell me,” he said.

“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.

“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”

“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.

“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”

“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”

“Is that his name?”

“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.

Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.

“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.

“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.

He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.

“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”

“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.

Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.

“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”

He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.

***

“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.

You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.

Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.

“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”

Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.

He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.

You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.

Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.

He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.

Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.

“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.

“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”

You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.

Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.

His uniform.

Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.

You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.

“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”

Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.

Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.

You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.

“It… suits you,” he forced out.

“Hmm?”

“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.

He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.

***

Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.

So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.

The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.

He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.

Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”

Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.

But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.

With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.

You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.

But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.

Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.

But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.

It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.

A soft knock on your door.

You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.

Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’

Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.

Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.

Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.

“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”

He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.

“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.

The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.

You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.

“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.

“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.

“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”

“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”

“What? Why?”

“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”

You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.

“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”

“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.

“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”

Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.

“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.

“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”

The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.

But then, his smile fell.

“I hate my name now.”

“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”

“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”

“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”

He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”

You waited for him to begin.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”

“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.

“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”

“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”

He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.

You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.

“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”

He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”

The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.

“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”

“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”

He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.

“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”

“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”

“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”

He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.

You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.

“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”

Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.

“Oh, no,” you breathed.

“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”

Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.

“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”

Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”

The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.

His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.

“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”

“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”

And that was that. That was the story.

The end of Jason Todd.

The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.

“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.

Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.

You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.

Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.

“I promise,” you whispered back.

And then the both of you fell asleep together.

***

“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.

It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.

“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.

He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.

“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.

“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”

“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.

“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”

Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”

You pursed your lips. “Yes.”

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”

“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.

“He still hasn’t left the manor?”

“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”

“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”

“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”

“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”

“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.

“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”

“An angry lost puppy.”

You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.

*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.

So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.

Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.

But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.

You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.

Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.

“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.

Oh.

For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.

“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.

Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.

“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”

“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”

“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”

A pause. Then-

“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”

Your mind blanked for a second.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.

“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.

“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”

Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.

“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”

And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.

“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”

“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”

“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”

You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.

“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.

His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.

“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”

There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.

“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.

“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”

He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”

Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.

It meant that Jason was healing well.

“Does that make you happy?” you asked.

“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”

“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.

“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”

“No,” he simply stated.

“No?”

“No.”

“It’s kinda poking into me.”

“Just ignore it.”

“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”

“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.

You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”

He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”

When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”

You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.

***

“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.

The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.

“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”

“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.

“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”

“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”

“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”

You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.

Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.

Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.

You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK

You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.

Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!

Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.

You were happy for him.

You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell

You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.

Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!

You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.

You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!

Dick never replied.

***

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.

“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.

“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”

“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”

“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”

You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.

Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.

“So where are we going?” he asked.

“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.

“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.

“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”

“Whatever.”

Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.

You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.

You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.

About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.

The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.

An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.

“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”

You looked at Jason.

He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.

His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.

“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he gulped.

“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”

“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”

“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”

“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”

“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.

The walk back to the car was faster.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”

“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.

“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”

“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”

“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”

“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”

“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”

“Let’s go back.”

“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”

“...okay.”

***

Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.

The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.

After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.

Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.

“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”

“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.

“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.

“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”

He simply nodded.

Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.

But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.

And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.

“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”

He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”

Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.

“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”

“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”

You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.

“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”

“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.

“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.

“It’s not that…”

“Then?”

“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”

“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.

“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.

“Because of me?” he asked.

“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”

“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”

You gulped. “Yes.”

Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.

“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.

You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.

“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.

“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?

Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.

He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.

“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.

“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”

“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.

“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Jason,” you gasped.

“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”

He went lower, closer to your center.

Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-

He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”

Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.

“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”

He ground his hand into your center harder.

“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”

“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.

“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.

“Right.”

“Teach me,” he said.

“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.

A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.

“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.

Fuck, you felt like exploding.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yes. If you… If you want to.”

Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.

But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.

And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.

“O-Okay,” you agreed.

Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.

“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”

You licked your lips.

“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”

His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.

It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”

“Shit.”

You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.

And that thought made you smile and sigh.

“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.

“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”

“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”

“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.

“Here?”

He tapped your clit.

“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”

He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?

He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.

“Faster, Jay,” you panted.

He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.

“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”

“Feel good?”

“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”

The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.

“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”

“I can see that.”

“But I’m also good at improvising.”

“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”

He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.

“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”

“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”

“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.

“Yes!”

What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?

Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.

You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.

“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”

You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.

“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”

“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”

His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.

“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”

“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”

“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Go to bed.”

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Fuck, I’m so horny.”

“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”

You pursed your lips.

“Goodnight.”

[trojc-rewrite]

The Rise of Jimmy Casket Rewrite, Chapter Four

Previous

——————————————————————————

Toast blinked, his body not moving for a few seconds. His heart and lungs were lurching in his chest, he felt hot and cold at the same time. He let a shaky smile across his face, laughing a bit.

Ghost fixed his hair, cold lake water dripped slowly from his hair tips. His gray sweater was almost black from the lake water, and a strand of seaweed was strapped to his shoulder.

“Ghost,” Toast said solemnly. A million emotions were exploding in his chest, like tiny fireworks popping. Relief, joy, confusion. He wanted to wrap his arms around his friend, and never let him go. He wanted to hold him there in a warm hug, and sit there solemnly forever.

“Ghost I, where have you- thank you- but where have you been? I-I was so worried. Sir I’ve missed you so much,” he spilled out. Ghost looked at him, a mixed emotion glazing his good eye. But to Toast’s relief he smiled, showing an emotion not often seen in his best friend.

“There's so much. It’s too much to really explain right now.” Ghost said, picking the string of seaweed off his shoulder. He flicked it off of his fingers, and it hit Spooker in the leg. The ginger made a disgusted face, peeling it off of his jeans.

Ghost shook out his sleeve, staying quiet for a few minutes. “I was on my way back home believe it or not, and then I saw you and Gavin- just, holy shit. You absolute dumbass,” He breathed out a sigh. “I mean, I love how brave you are but Jesus, you can’t be dying on me.”

Toast chuckled, sitting upwards gently. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I almost died on this trip, that’s for sure.”. Ghost smiled a tiny bit, before turning his attention to Toast's leg.

“We should get somewhere warm, and get that wound looked at. It could be infected.” Ghost said, leaning over his friend's leg. The wound was pulsing with cold, dull pain.

The four of them were quiet, not speaking. A question hung in the air, “but where?”. Toast's wallet was soaked, so no cash. Ghost more than likely couldn’t afford to get a hotel room for four people, with Spooker and Colon in the same boat.

The river water lapped at the beach, making soft sounds against the sandy grass. Wind howled over him, pointing out how cold he was getting. It laughed at him, taunting him with inevitable hypothermia if he stayed out here. “Maybe my credit cards survived my fall.” Toast said, grabbing his sodden wallet.

Luckily, they did. He had only one really old card, but it would do for tonight.

Toast looked up from his wallet, and made eye contact with Colon. His eyes were staring at him, and he nodded to him. Toast knew what that meant, that was Colon’s silent way of asking “may we talk, specifically without Ghost.”

“Ghost, there’s a motel across the bridge. I hate to be that person, would you mind booking us a room for the night? I might take a few minutes to get up.” He said, blinking some water droplets from his eyes.

Ghost was quiet, unreadable emotions filling his face. “Okay, just don’t be too late.” He said, and Toast smiled at him.

“Thank you Sir. We’ll be there soon.” Toast said. His friend got up, wringing out his hoodie sleeve. He shook his hair out one last time, spraying Spooker and Colon with water droplets.

Ghost rolled his eye slightly, which Toast laughed at. “Still being grumpy, I see?”. His friend snorted.

“Yeah, I guess.” He said, smiling slightly. He grabbed his satchel from the shore.

Ghost disappeared over the bridge, the night consuming him until he was nothing more than a ringing thought in Toast’s head.

Spooker and Colon turned to him, eyes hard. “We hope that you know that we have several questions.”

Toast rubbed the wedding ring on his neck, feeling anxiety beginning to blossom in his belly. “Of course you do.” He joked.

Colon sat down on a mossy rock, “I’m just thinking. Aren’t you angry with him?” He asked, looking at him with foggy eyes.

Toast gave him a confused look. “Why would I be?”

Colon held out his arms in a matter-of-fact way. “He left us Toast! He left you to hold P.I.E together, he left me and Spooker with barely any knowledge on anything. Hell, Spooker is STILL a trainee!”

Spooker hesitantly nodded.

“He just left us. We barely got an explanation. He just said ‘Hey I gotta go, dunno when I’ll be back.’ You aren’t upset over that? Not even in the slightest? He left you with scraps!”

Colon looked upset, but not in an angry way. He looked sad, as if he had actually been hurt when Ghost left. In which, Toast didn’t get 100%, sure they had their moments of clarity, and sometimes they worked together brilliantly, but he didn’t think they were that close.

‘He holds a grudge with Ghost for leaving.’ Toast thought, ‘Which I can’t even blame him for. If I wasn’t so close to Ghost I would be too.’

He studied his inner emotions more, taking a few minutes to breathe before answering. ‘Maybe I am mad at him for leaving.’ He thought. Toast could feel a kernel of anger settled in the knot of other emotions, weaved in there like a root. It was small, it wasn’t enough to make him be this upset, but it was there. And Toast was sure that Colon probably felt it more.

‘Maybe he looked up to him, in a weird way.’ He thought finally.

He took a deep breath. “I am upset with him.” He answered truthfully. “But I feel like anger won’t solve anything here.”

He played with the gold ring around his neck, watching it catch the moonlight with a glint. The ring brought back memories. Memories of him and Mary dancing on their wedding night, proposing to her. And then came the unpleasant memories, muddled in, unfortunately intertwined. And then came the memories of Ghost, him coming to visit him every day, taking care of him, helping him with his alcohol addiction. Telling him it would work out in the end, that he’d be happy again. Some of the rare moments of Ghost’s optimism, some that he knew he might not ever see again.

“But, even though him leaving wasn’t right, and I agree that he shouldn’t have left on such short notice, I forgive him for it too. There’s so much to Ghost, he’s a complicated person, as cliche as that sounds.

“He didn’t mean to hurt us. I know that for a fact. Ghost cares about us, he refuses to say it, he hates showing vulnerability, but he loves both you and Spooker. He has his moments, but they’re easy to miss.

“But, I don’t blame you for being upset with him. Him leaving us for those few weeks, it wasn’t the best thought out decision. But confronting him about it, I feel like it’ll cause more issues.”

Colon took in what he said for a few minutes, his expression softening. Spooker shuffled beside him, looking lost in thought. His eyebrows were knitted in soft confusion.

“I understand that he respects us, I guess I was just hurt when he left. He left us with more questions than answers. He left me thinking, ‘what did I do wrong?’, those things are just so hard to get over. I just hope he tells us. We’re a team right? We’re supposed to trust each other. Why didn’t he want to tell us?”

Toast brought his legs closer to his body, straining as his leg pulsed with numb pain again.

“Ghost has his secrets, and we should respect that. Plus, he always tells us inevitably, one way or another.”

He got up, limping a bit. Spooker helped him stand, getting to his side. The ginger still looked lost in thought, his eyes somewhere not in the conversation.

Colon nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

He stood up, dusting off his pants. Moss stuck to his legs, staining his jeans green.

“Now let's go, I can’t wait to sleep on something that isn’t dirt.” Colon said.

Spooker chuckled slightly to himself. Toast blinked at him, and Spookers eyes focused. “Sorry! I was just thinkin, ya know how it is.”

Toast smiled, “I understand.”

He slowly closed his hand around his ring necklace, staring up at the stars. They glowed so bright, Toast felt calmed by them. It reminded him of his wedding after party, after most people had gone home. That night was a blast, but Toast's favorite memory was that one.

He, Mary and Ghost all staring at the stars, pointing out constellations and telling quiet stories of their youth. Ghost told stories of Toast, as all of them shared drinks under moonlight.

He smiled slightly to himself.

“Mary, my love, I’m keeping them safe as you asked.”

——————————————————————————-

A calm chapter for the soul, these poor boys needed a break.

New chapter should be up soon! So sorry for the wait!

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanofff x Reader : Thin Line

Summary: You’re wild and free. She’s strict and trained. You and Natasha are polar opposites and it drives her crazy. Each move you make annoys her to no end. But, there’s a thin line between annoyance and adoration.

Rating: 18+ Violence, Mentions of Death, and Smut

Side Note: This is the final chapter of Thin Line. Before you read I’d like to thank you so much for reading my fic and I’m assuming if you read this far you like it. Fee free to stick around for the many fics and imagines to come. Love You 3000❤️

Chapter 11

They had been flying for hours. Sam fell asleep, almost instantly, after he got on the jet. Wanda had fallen asleep an hour after Sam, her mind had been reeling far too much for her to settle at first.

Steve was piloting(technically the jet is in autopilot so he wasn’t) but that didn’t steal his air of authority. Bucky having just been left in Wakanda.

And Natasha.

The red head had firmly planted herself in a seat near the jets door an hour after boarding.

Steve spoke to her before then. He knows how much she loves you and had to make sure she was one hundred percent on board with leaving. She assured him she was.

While she still stands by that, her heart was seemingly screaming at her, aching at your absence and her decision to leave.

Those feelings is exactly why, for majority of the flight, she had been staring at a picture. The only picture she ever bothered to hold on to: one you had taken on your second date.

****Flashback****

“Natasha, babe, we fight lunatics and terrorists for a living, and you’re telling me you’re scared of a rollercoaster?” You stood beside her with a teasing grin, the large metal contraption in front of you.

She rolled her eyes and mushed your face,“ I’m not scared of anything. I just don’t want to get on.” Her eyes then skeptically watched passerby.

You, noticing that she was slipping into Widow mode, grabbed her hands and pulled her closer,“ what if we,” you stretched the word and looked around,“ go to the beach instead.”

She’s still hesitant. It’s not often that she subjects herself to being out in the open like this, but you had pouted and fucked her into giving in. Turns out your adorable face mixed with a mind blowing orgasm was the perfect kryptonite.

“Come on Natty,” you tried one more time,“ just for a couple minutes. I don’t want our date to end just yet.”

Once again, you pulled a pout, eyes softening just enough to make her groan and look away.

“Fine, fine,” before you could cheer she added,“ but only for a couple of minutes.”

“Perfect.”

The two of you had walked off Coney Island and down to the beach. You took her to, what looked like, the only secluded spot, and pulled her into your lap on the sand.

With the sun ending it’s appearance in the sky, stars scattered above you and pink and orange streams painted across the horizon.

“Picture time!” You exclaimed childishly, whipping your phone out, and holding it up.

“No.” Her quick response halted your actions.

Leaning back to look at her, you asked,“ do you not want to remember this moment?”

“I’ll remember.” She assured.

“But I might forget. This picture is for me!” You then smushed your lips on to her cheek and took the picture, but not before she could cover her face.

The stupid grin she pulled hidden by her hands.

****End Flashback****

Despite her not wanting to take the picture, she stole it from you the moment you had it printed off.

And now it sat in her hands, the top corners dogeared from her fidgeting.

She needs this picture, just in case. In case you don’t find her clues. In case you can’t crack her password and encryption. In case she never sees you again, intentionally or not.

She needs her memories of you.

“Romanoff!”

Her eyes linger on the picture, before she’s pocketing it, and going over to Steve.

“We’re ten minutes out, mind waking Sam and Wanda?”

Natasha simply nods and sets off to do just that. Her hand rests on Wanda’s shoulder, gently shaking the young witch.

“Maximoff, wake up.”

Wanda has never been much of a heavy sleeper so she wakes with that little effort, saying a small, sleepy, “alright” with a rub of her eyes.

Sam however doesn’t wake as easily. The gentle shaking just makes him mumble “five more minutes mom,” before drifting back off. Harsher shaking makes him groan and complain, rolling over to face the inside of the seats.

Natasha decides to just roll him off the chairs.

His body slams on to the floor and that just barely wakes him up. Still laying on the ground, he yawns and rubs his eyes with his fist.

“Wilson get up, we’re here.” Steve’s stern yet gentle voice says.

This has everyone moving to get the few things they did have.

Here is a safe house in Spain.

Steve had lifted a list of them from paper files at the compound, crossing referencing with the ones listed on the computer files. He narrowed it down to a few that could only be found on paper and took them.

It didn’t mean they were completely untraceable, but it would take a lot more than a look up to find them.

The small group walks through a span of woods were the jet is hidden, to the safe house. Before entering they survey the area.

Upon finding nothing, they go inside.

Feeling just the slightest bit safer, everyone slumps sigh exhaustion.

“We’ll move in the morning just in case someone managed to find us, but for now everyone rest up.” Steve’s voice rings over the small group with the same commanding tone he took with all the Avengers.

Everyone nods and heads into opposite rooms, except Natasha and Wanda, both seemingly frozen in the loss of the people they love.

It’s the brunette Witch who breaks the sad silence,“ do you think they’ll forgive us?” 

Natasha feels the tears spring into her eyes.

Leaving you was the last thing she wanted but the decision has been made. She can’t take it back now. She’s also a fugitive at this point.

“They’ll forgive us.” She tries to assure,“ hell they probably don’t think we need to be forgiven. Just,” the red head takes in a deep breath and places a gentle hand on her friends shoulder,“ shower, get some rest, you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Despite her saying that, she doesn’t believe it. Why should she when she knows it won’t work. 

Not having you is like not having her heart or soul, no shower or sleep could ever make that feeling better.

It’s why she cries the second she’s out of the shower and in her room. The tears she managed to hold at bay pour from her eyes as she nearly curls into a ball on the small couch. 

That sadness, however, is short lived.

“Awe, don’t tell me those tears are for me Pretty Girl.”

She hadn’t know what this felt like. To have her hope be fulfilled. Truthfully she’d never really had hope before but she hoped in you and this- this euphoria, it feels amazing.

She left you clues and you followed them because why wouldn’t you? She’s the love of your life and you’d be damned if you just let her get away.

You found her. Her trust in your intelligence was well placed. As was her trust in your feelings for her.

Wiping her nose with the sleeve of your (stolen) shirt, she sniffs, and looks up at you. Green teary eyes meet yours and you smile at how beautiful she is even when sad.

“You’re so annoying Y/L/N.”

You step closer, taking her deathly delicate hands in yours. The warm smile you pull still manages to be cocky in some way and it drives Natasha crazy.

Pulling her up and into your arms you say,“ as if I’d let you slip away.”

Her eyes are roaming over your body just to ensure that you’re actually here,“ I was hoping you wouldn’t.”

Natasha wraps her arms around your waist and hugs you to her. You return the hug, breathing in that cinnamon and vanilla scent you had begun to miss over those few hours.

But Natasha knows you, and she knows you won’t let the silence last, which is why she’s already smiling and shaking her head when you break it.

“How could you not, I’m fuckin awesome.” You over dramatically wink at her.

The red head rolls her eyes, a small laugh on her lips as she starts to walk away from you.

“That was a moment, and you ruined it.” She points out.

Feigning shock, you press a hand to your heart,“ I would never!”

Your heart soars as she laughs once again, sound lighter than the last. This beauty has been through a lot of shit recently and to make her smile and laugh despite it all is an achievement worth the highest medal.

Before you can step closer to her there’s a knock at the door.

Natasha quirks an eyebrow before going to it. Cracking it, she peeks outside, befor stepping back and fully opening it.

“I’m sorry for bothering you I just, I think I’m going mad. I keep hearing Y/N’s voice and I can feel Vision as if he’s right beside me.” Your witchy best friend stammers out the second she’s inside.

Your eyes widen,“ oh shit, Vision.”

Neither Natasha or Wanda have time to react as you’re out the window already.

Wanda blinks a couple times to not sure if this is real or if she has in fact lost her mind. One glance at Natasha’s uncontrolabbly smiley face and she knows that was actually you.

Her slight joy is wiped away as she realizes her presence just scared you off. That’s what she thinks anyway.

She’s proven wrong when you step back through the window, this time followed by Vision phasing through the wall.

“Tada!” You whisper/yell, hands gesturing to the red android.

“Viz.” Wanda’s shocked response whispers through the room.

“Wanda.” He smiles back with a nod.

“Wait!” You ruin yet another moment.“ Before you two get all lovey, I’d like to hug my best friend.”

Arms wide you step closer to Wanda. Her magic flickers through her eyes in fear.

No, she’s not scared of you, she’s scared that you hate her. That you’re disappointed in the choice she made to side with Steve.

“Uh Wanda, this is getting awkward.” You murmur.

“You don’t hate me?” The Witch asks, barely above a whisper.

“Woah! Hate? I could never hate you kid, I love you. And I’m not holding anything against you. We all did what we thought was right. I’m just really glad you’re okay.”

At that the brunette throws herself into your arms, wrapping her own around you tightly.

Her body relaxes the instant she’s in your arms. The comfort of your warmth is an unbelievable contrast to the cold of her cell on the Raft. The gentleness of you hand on the back of her head nothing like the harsh presence of her shock collar. Your hold tight but not restricting like her straight jacket.

“Please tell me they didn’t use that shock collar on you.” You whisper, praying they didn’t hurt your best friend.

She doesn’t answer. She can’t. Not when there’s the smallest of a burn mark on her neck, reminding her of the sharp sting of the electrocution.

And you know they did. It’s why you to tighten your hold just a little and blink away your tears.

“I’m strongly tempted to go back and kick their asses”

The girl immediately pulls back, brown eyes staring into yours. Your girlfriend also looks at you, waiting for an explanation.

“No. No more violence, please.” She whispers.

For the first time sense he came in, Vision speaks.

“I agree with Agent Y/L/N. They deserve reprecutions for their actions toward you.”

Wanda steps from your hold and over to Vision. Her hand just barely cups the androids cheek.

“That’s not necessary. I’m here, I’m safe now,” she pauses,“ and I’m with you.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Vision smile, until now.

It’s faint but it’s there, and it’s all cause of the girl in front of him.

“You guys are cute.” You smile.

Luckily the android can’t blush, or he’d be redder than his skin. Much like Wanda, who’s cheeks blaze.

Natasha rolls her eyes,“ okay, Wanda, Vision, I’m sure you two want privacy and rest.” She gestures to her door.

They both nod and leave with a smile to you and Natasha.

“You just kicked th-”

She shuts you up with a fierce, burning, loving kiss. Hands on both sides of your face, body flush with yours.

“You’re so very annoying.” Her lips brush yours with each word.

Grinning like mad, you pull the red head over and to the bed.

Once she’s in your arms, you sigh contentedly,“ I may be annoying, but you love me.”

Silence.

A deep breath in and a sigh out.

“Yeah,” she smiles softly to herself. Wiggling her body closer to yours,“ I do love you.”

*****

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[21burritoseavey]

Chapter 6 - Slow Down

a/n: this one’s quite long so i’m sorry but I really hope you read it all and enjoy it! let me know what you think:)

Summary:  Daniel and Y/n are best friends, but like every clique love story lol, Daniel fell for Y/n, though he’s never admitted his feelings because Y/n has a boyfriend. After their exams, the group of friends decide to go on a “California-cation” (see what I did there haha) but Y/n’s boyfriend also tags along. It gets a little interesting and I guess you’ll just have to see how things go…

“What’s wrong?” Corbyn urged seriously from his seat. The back of the van had finally fallen silent due to Jonah’s sudden stop and almost everyone's gazes were fixated on the driver’s seat. 

 “This van’s a twenty-year-old piece of crap is what’s wrong” Jonah huffed, slouching down in his seat tiredly

 “Ugh, why does everything go wrong when I’m with you guys?” Y/n groaned, habitually fidgeting with the strings of her hoodie. 

 “Hey!” The rest of the boys snapped, glaring at her. She only giggled lightly. 

 Daniel, who slumped drowsily in his seat with his cheek leaning on his palm, muttered “Hey, okay, don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.” He sat up, straightening his back before continuing, “come on guys.” Daniel said, getting out of the car while gesturing to the others to do so too. 

“I’m too tired to get out” Y/n remarked light-heartedly. She lounged back in her seat, brought her arms up to rest behind her head and her eyes focused on Grayson beside her, who sat quietly doing who knows what on his phone again. 

 “Grayson…” She breathed, lifting her soft hand to rest under his chin. Grayson glanced at her swiftly. “Go help him out.” She said tenderly, a gentle smile forming on her lips. 

 Before Grayson could even speak a word, Y/n’s other hand crawled slyly up his back to his neck, and she pushed her lips on his. His strong figure melted easily against her comforting touch, but she pulled back almost immediately when she heard Jonah. 

 “Ewww. I don’t need to see that” Jonah called as he was getting out of the front seat, biting back a cheeky smile. 

 “Love you.” Y/n said sweetly as she shifted back into her seat and watched him close the car door. 

 Grayson hid his eye roll and replied with a quiet ‘love you’ before approaching the rest of the boys. Their slightly clueless faces twisted in confusion had Grayson biting back a smirk and he slowly wiggled his way into the huddle of boys to get a better look. With a furrowed brow and pursued lips, he inspected the exposed hood of the car almost silently, and after a couple awkward minutes of the guys whispering their own conclusions to each other, Grayson broke the silence. “We should just push the car.” He deduced simply, pushing the hood back down and dusting his hands free of grease and grime. The boys nodded casually as if they thought the same and followed him to the back of the car. 

 “I could’ve figured that out easily” Jack scoffed quietly to Daniel, earning a gentle chuckle from the boy beside him. Jonah got back into the driver’s seat again, looking back to meet Y/n’s eyes. 

 “Your boyfriend really seems to know a bit about cars.” He said truthfully as he looked back at Y/n, signalling to Grayson behind the car. Y/n smiled proudly, sneaking a glance at her boyfriend before turning back to Jonah.

 “Yeah, he does.” Y/n paused with a grin, “I’m glad he’s here, you know? Like...with all of you guys so you can get to know him better. He’s such a great guy and-” Y/n caught herself beginning to ramble and she quieted down bashfully. “He’s great.” She finished simply. 

 Jonah chucked faintly. “I’m sure of it.” He said, despite remembering the negative conversations he had with Daniel about Grayson. 

 “Okay Jonah,” Grayson called from behind the car. “What you’re going to do now is turn the ignition on, hold down on the pedal and put the van into second gear.” After a few seconds, Jonah nodded when he was ready. 

 “Stupid bugs!” Daniel groaned, wiggling his arms haphazardly to swat them away. Y/n giggled cheekily, shifting in her seat to look over at the five boys ready to push the car - completely sheltered from the bugs that had been bothering Daniel so much. Until that point, she was completely unaware that he had taken off his shirt and she felt her cheeks warming up at the sight of his glistening, toned body. She guiltily snapped out of her trance and looked forward again. 

 After a few attempts and a few funny complaints from the boys, the rusty old van was able to work again, hopefully for the remaining duration of their drive and the group were back on the road. 

Corbyn had opened the sunroof which sent a cool breeze blowing in the car and  music played from the crackling speakers quietly. It was significantly quieter though, everyone was either on the verge of sleep or busying themselves with their phones. Daniel kept his blue eyes out the window, feeling the gentle rise and fall of the van as his brain explored thoughts of Y/n and Grayson. 

 Maybe he’s not so bad after all? He thought. 

---

The cool summer night was reaching eight o’clock when the weary van finally came to an official halt, belching and rumbling as Jonah parked it in the lot. Y/n’s stomach was tickling with excitement and she was so overcome with joy that she nearly shoved Grayson out of his seat, ushering him out with “Come on! Come on! Let’s go!” He merely stared wide eyed at her, gradually stepping out of the van just to get on her nerves. “Oh. My. God. Gray. I literally hate you.” Y/n grumbled, making Daniel and Grayson burst into genuine laughter and they exchanged small, tight smiles. 

The guys briefly looked around noticing scraggly trees and bushes interspersed along the campsite, swaying and creaking and they heard the faint sounds of people’s voices that drifted with the light breeze.

 “Oh my god! You have no idea how much I just wanna sleep right now!” Zach yawned, stretching his arms tiredly as he stepped out of the van, shutting the rigid door behind him. 

“Okay well, if we just get the tents built quickly, we should be able to just chill out and vibe real soon.” Daniel said, as he began to unload the trunk. He passed around the backpacks and sleeping bags to everyone, and they all started walking ahead. “It should just be down there.” Daniel called out kindly, pointing to the wooden benches and public toilets in the distance. 

 “Hey,” Y/n greeted, casually resting her hands on each of Daniel’s shoulders from behind. He flinched in momentary fear but his expression faltered at the comforting sight of Y/n. Her gentle eyes and dewy skin shimmered with ease even when the natural light was dwindling, and Daniel couldn’t help but go weak in the knees as her eyes caught his lingering gaze. 

 Catching himself in his persistent and rather embarrassingly long trance, he offered her the smallest backpack with a grin while he carried three big duffle bags and sleeping bags on his broad shoulders. They began walking towards the campgrounds, already significantly behind the rest of the group yet strolling slowly. The sounds of the gravel crunching beneath their feet floated with the light breeze and Daniel broke the serene quietness with a question. 

 “You and Grayson okay now?” He asked. 

 “Yeah.” Y/n made sure to grin widely at him before continuing “I just wanna say thank you again.”

“It’s really okay it-.”

 “Not just for that, but for everything Dani. I appreciate you so much.” Y/n said honestly. She even stopped in her tracks as if to signal how serious she was. 

 “I appreciate you too, Y/n. I love you…. more than you will ever know.”  Daniel didn’t even realise he said the last six words out loud and he tried to break nervousness quickly. He shifted the weight on his back and a slight grunt escaped from his lips. 

 “Do you need some help?” Y/n said shyly, desperately trying to hold in her laughter as she watched Daniel trudge forwards, a new layer of sweat dampening his forehead. 

 Daniel took a deep breath before replying, swallowing back his slight awkwardness. “No, no, I’m fine,” he said quickly. 

 “If you say so…. doof” Y/n ran off cheekily as she giggled, turning back when she heard Daniel again. 

 “Hey! You’re a doof!” He yelled back with a small chuckle.  

 By the time Daniel finally caught up with the rest of the gang, he was clawing for a breath, dropping the bags on his back ungracefully with a loud thump and sat down quickly on a wooden picnic bench near him. 

 Like usual, Daniel’s eyes wandered the new place from the tall trees with brittle, dry leaves to the burbling shallow creek in the distance to Y/n. She was resting on a nearby bench with Grayson, cuddled up into his side comfortably. He cleared his throat nervously and got up from the bench, trudging back over to his bandmates right past the young, mingling couple. He saw Y/n snake out of Grayson’s arms from the corner of his eye and he heard the faint whispers between them before he felt the cold sensation of Grayson’s hand on the back of his shoulder. He turned around to be met with a somewhat friendly smile and he returned it. 

 “Do you need any help setting up your tent?” He asked, gesturing to the unopened tent on the ground behind him. Daniel nodded,

“Yeah, thanks.” He replied, walking towards the flat grassy area Jack, Corbyn and Zach where at. Grayson followed behind casually, placing his backpack down. He kneeled on the ground, opening up the drawstring bag. Daniel came closer and crouched down as well and started to pull out the parts. 

The sky had melted into a rich navy with stars adorned everywhere yet the two boys had finally achieved their goal after an exhausting and slightly awkward hour. The exterior was wrinkled, wobbly and a little broken but both boys were too exhausted to even care and lay sprawled out inside the tent. 

 Surprisingly, despite Daniel's initial dislike of Grayson, he couldn’t deny that he was charismatic and incredibly easy to get along with. He figured that’s how he was able to get an amazing girl like Y/n, charming her off her feet onto the dancefloor and then into his car that first night they met at his twin brother’s party. 

“Hey, uhh do you have a flashlight?” Daniel asked as he shifted slowly. 

“Yeah, there should be one in my backpack. The biggest pocket.” 

“Thanks man,” Daniel said gently as he zipped open the tent and crawled out slowly, trying not to break the fragile structure. He crouched down in front of Grayson’s black backpack and zipped open the biggest pocket as instructed. He carefully weeded through the plentiful cans bug spray and sunscreen. Underneath an extra shirt was a small gift bag, pink in colour and drowned in glitter. Daniel could only make out the blush-coloured tissue paper that peeked out of the bag in the darkness. He froze in thought, plentiful ideas hazed in his mind, flashing in and out of existence quickly. 

Pink and glitter? It’s not a holiday. It’s not anyone’s- 

 “Daniel! Grayson!” Y/n yelled out. “Come on!” 

Daniel’s thoughts were interrupted but he quickly pulled out the flashlight and zipped the backpack up again, meeting Grayson’s gaze just in time when he emerged from the tent behind him.