#all of this is prompted by the idea of scary asking normal to erase her memories of terry jr and the only way normal can do that is

[ivypond11]

someone send help i keep thinking about normal helping scary through the terry jr aftermath.

____________

Scary knows Normal is the kind of person who would do anything for his friends, even if he didn't agree with their decisions.

She knows, after months and months of spending the night at the Swallows-Oak-Garcias, that Normal loves his friends with all his heart. It's just the way he is, and, for a reason she will never understand, she's found herself being one of those friends. She's never felt deserving of it, to say the least, and she still feels guilty for all the things she put him, Link and Taylor through, but she will take it because she loves him too, and his presence has warmed its way into what she thought was the cold tundra of her heart. So, she never asks him for anything, Scary feels like that would be crossing a line. But in their endless sleepovers, when she wakes up crying and screaming over the bloody hole in Terry's face, and he holds her until her breath is even, the warm light of the sun finding them crying until the early hours of the morning, she feels selfish enough to ask Normal to help her forget.

"Forget what?" he asks, wiping his wet cheeks with the palm of his hand, looking at Scary with a knowing look. He knows what she is going to ask, she's sure of it.

"I can't... I can't live like this, Norm. I can't keep remembering him and reliving that day." scary says, clutching her chest, choking tears away. "If I forget about Terry, at least... fuck, I don't know." she burrows her face in his shoulder, and he hugs her. "I don't want to feel this empty inside." Scary whispers, sobbing quietly into her best friend's arms.

"Yeah." Normal says, as she knew he would. "We'll find a way." he whispers back.

Scary doesn't know if they will find a way, but she knows Normal will do everything in his power to help her, and she's never felt less deserving and grateful of his friendship.

[fatefulfaerie]

Honesty Part 7 (Last One)

Part One here

Part Two here

Part Three here

Part Four here

Part Five here

Part Six here

Zelda supposed it was the adventurous spirit in both of them that led them to sit upon the roof, gazing at the stars and yet very aware of the person next to them. Sometimes they shared words, small talk about this or that. Sometimes they shared silence, just as comfortable, just as safe. Either way, Zelda found herself forgetting about her troubles in the company of Link.

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been a week already,” Link remarked, obviously attempting to strike up another bout of conversation. Zelda turned her head. “I feel like I just got here and now we are journeying to rendezvous with Urbosa early tomorrow morning.”

Zelda smiled to herself.

“You did sleep through a pretty big chunk of it,” she jived, Link offering a slight chuckle in reply.

“Damn mushrooms,” he said before their words faded again, Zelda listening to the chirps of crickets and the rattles of cicadas. 

She thought of the words of Link’s mother, the advice that the line between a deep friendship and a romantic relationship was farther away than she thought. Zelda knew she could cross over at any time, but it was that trepidation, that hesitation that seemed to drive them both to pure flustered anxiety when around each other, like one move would cross a line they could never come back from, that they would fall so deep in love that they would fall from a great height, and thus so would Hyrule.

Link’s mother reminded her that shutting him out because of that fear may be just as detrimental. There had to be a balance.

“Hey, Link?” Zelda prompted, keeping her gaze on the stars and her weight on the hands behind her.

“Yeah?”

Zelda didn’t know that Link had taken the opportunity to look over to her, to admire the way the pale light of the stars and the moon made her completely ethereal, the way she outshined them, captured their light and proved herself the better conduit for it.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Zelda said. “For this week...tolerating me, you know, the spoiled princess I am.”

“You’re not spoiled,” Link said quickly. Zelda smiled to herself and was glad the darkness of the night sky hid any blush. “I mean...you deserve a break just as much as I do. I’m glad I got to give that to you, and...well I like having you around.”

Zelda kept smiling. This felt more normal, and even better, it felt more natural.

“I like having you around too,” Zelda said in reply. “I think you...”

Zelda stopped herself. She had to temper her honesty, balance telling him how she felt without pouring out her entire heart and drowning them both in their dangerous love.

“I think you may be the best friend I’ve ever had,” Zelda said, Link hiding his surprise well. “I know you are under orders to protect me, but you were never under orders to forgive me for my prior immaturity, nor were you under orders to befriend me and support me like you have. No one has ever had my back like you do, no knight assigned to me, not even Urbosa or my father...oh gosh this is probably sounding horribly strange...I think I just want to let you know that I have your back too, no matter what. I...uhmm...I care about you a lot.”

She finally overcame her anxiety and looked over to Link, who was looking so intently at the night sky that it seemed quite the oddity.

“What are you doing?!” Zelda asked with a resummoned petulance. “Are you even listening to me?!”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m looking for flying pigs.”

“Goddesses,” Zelda said, playfully shoving him, which made him laugh. “I was trying to be sincere and you turn it into a joke! I can’t believe I li...”

Link looked over to her immediately as her intended word cut short and slowed down, hanging on the syllable as she tried to save it. Her heart burned with panic and embarrassment and somehow the brain she was often praised for failed her, Zelda forgetting every word she had ever learned.

“...ke...you,” she finally finished, closing her eyes filled with regret, and scampering off the roof quickly.

“Princess, wait!” Link said with an outstretched hand, coming to a kneel to watching her run across the bridge towards the center of town.

Link sighed as he followed suit, hopping down to the roof of the stable, as if it was a stepping stone downwards, soon meeting his feet to grass. 

He bursted through the door to his house, nearly scaring his mother half to death where she stood cooking.

“Link!” She said breathlessly with a hand on her chest. “What in Hyrule are you--”

“Do you remember where I put the sword?” Link asked, frantically looking everywhere.

“For goodness sake, Link, I’m sure it’s here somewhere,” Ruth said as Link ran upstairs. She furrowed her brow, looking up at the loft. “Would you calm down?!”

“Can’t,” Link replied, sword in hand and running back down the stairs. “I’ll be back for dinner.” Link slammed the the door behind him with as much haste as he had opened it. Ruth rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Hylia, help that boy.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Link knew exactly where she would run, and thus, his legs burned as he ran up the hill to Purah’s laboratory as fast as he could.

Knocking on the door, he panicked with worry. She could have been in danger and even if she wasn’t, she was likely ashamed for something she simply shouldn’t be. Link always assumed she didn’t like him back but now his mind overflowed with possibility that was once a fantasy. Most of all, however, he just wanted to see her okay.

“Linky!” He heard as soon as the door opened, the young Purah standing there with excited red eyes. Link gave a nervous and forced smile before return to his concerned expression.

“Is the princess here?” Link asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this serious Link,” Purah observed like she was studying him. “And your face is completely flushed. Tell me, do you have any other symptoms?”

Link sighed.

“Just answer my question,” Link demanded.

“She’s around back,” Purah said, Link immediately walking to find his Princess. “Wait,” Purah said, stopping him and prompting him to turn back around. “I thought you two were past her running from you.”

“We are,” Link said. “Well, we were...there was just a misunderstanding. I’ll fix it.”

“Well then I wish you the best of luck, young knight,” Purah said before closing the door.

Link tread around the lab, finding Zelda hugging her knees and staring out at the vast sea, lit by the moonlight. Link questioned whether or not she knew he was here, whether she would have run and whether he had the courage to make himself known.

“I was trying to bridge the gap without letting that out,” Zelda said suddenly, alerting Link to the fact that she did in fact know. He leaned casually on the outside wall of the lab, his ears penned for her next words. “I don’t want to lose you because of the distance I have to keep to not...get too close. I was trying to follow your mother’s advice to not let this get in the way of still being there for each other.” Zelda laughed at herself. “I did a great job.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Link said. “Besides, I get where you are coming from. When we talked about focusing only on defeating the calamity, I think we both had this in mind...of course thinking that the other person didn’t. And yes, Your Highness, that means I like you back, for better or worse.”

Zelda tried not to let her heart flutter with joy, not to jump up and into his arms. She tried to look at the ocean and forget that his eyes were the same, beautiful color.

“I can’t erase my feelings,” Link said. “Can you?”

Zelda shook her head.

“No,” she replied.

Link finally stepped forward and knelt next to her to match her eye line, Zelda looked over to him once he did. They couldn’t but smile at the sight of the other.

“This is insane,” Link said. “I mean you of all people like like me.”

“The irony is not lost on me,” Zelda said with a slight laugh. Link moved to sit on his heels and took her hands into his. Zelda reveled in the feeling, in the moments, in his touch, in everything about this.

“This is still a bit bizarre for me,” Link said. “And new and scary, but...I’m willing to wait for you until after the calamity is defeated...to wait to truly pursue this. I will support you and care about you sincerely until then but if you feel I’m not worth the wait--”

“You are,” Zelda said quickly with a smile. “You are.”

Link blushed, his head hanging down as he chuckled, filled with disbelief. He was almost tearing up at what he had found in her, how lucky he was. He raised his hand, pinkie outstretched.

“Let’s make a promise then, to pause this budding romance until we defeat the calamity once and for all, to still be there for each other with the same love, care, and support, but not risk our common sense because of it.”

Zelda eyed his outstretched pinkie.

“A pinkie promise?” Zelda asked with a raised brow. “That’s how we are going to seal this?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Zelda smiled as she brought her hands to his, clasping his pinkie back into his fisted hand and holding it.

“How about a kiss?” She asked. “Just this once...for now at least.”

“What?” Link asked, his smile fading and his face reddening as much as Zelda had ever seen it. Zelda laughed.

“Link,” she said. “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure,” Link asked. “I mean you’re royalty and I’m just--”

Zelda surged forward and met her lips to his, Link soon giving in, placing his hand on her cheek as something stoked with their very souls, their silent promise continuing. The passion of their blooming love was balanced by the hesitation of their first kiss.

“You better remember this,” Zelda said as she withdrew.

“Like I could forget,” Link said jokingly.

[myheroacademiashorts]

May i request a oneshot with Shouta Aizawa and a male hero reader, please? They have a surrogate baby daughter together(Shouta being the donor) and they find out that her quirk is like Shouta's but not quite the same thing, you can can decide what kind of quirk it is, I'd love to see what you come up with!

Thank you for the prompt! It was so cute and interesting to write, since this was my first time writing for and BNHA character in the position of a parent. Hope you enjoy! (Also if you couldn’t tell, I never know how to end my writing so if the ending seems awkward, IM SO SORRY)

Title: Just Like Dad

Pairing: Dad!Aizawa Shouta x Male Reader

Rating: Fluff! 

Words: 1,735

—————————————

“Honey, I’m home!” Your tone was playful - you knew how much your husband hated the mushy pet names you cursed him with - as you stepped into your house. It was raining outside, pouring buckets as you shook out your umbrella and tucked it away inside of the closet, along with your dripping coat. It was silent, which would’ve been normal if only Shouta were here, but your daughter was much more lively. “Shouta?” You called out once more, bending down to take off your rain boots and place them neatly beside your family’s tidied shoes. “Kara?”

“In here.”

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you stepped further into the house, immediately noticing Shouta’s dark hair peeking up from the couch. He turned to you slightly, dark eyes trailing over your figure, and he offered you a soft smile. “Welcome home.” He said and you stepped forward to place a tender kiss to his forehead. He smelled like vanilla and whiskey.

“Where’s our little troublemaker?” You teased, and answered your own question as you glanced down to see your 4-year-old daughter nestled in Shouta’s lap. She was sleeping softly, eyes closed as she snuggled further into her father’s side. “That’s weird. She isn’t one to typically nap.” And she wasn’t; even though she had been from a surrogate, with Shouta being the donor, she acted very unlike the brooding man. While he was quiet and moody, Kara was more like a firecracker.

Shouta sighed, moving the papers he had been grading to instead lay a hand on the young girl’s head. “I’m worried she’s coming down with something. She’s been sleeping since coming back from school.” At that, your eyebrows jumped up. Kara hated nap, and instead usually spent the remainder of the day running around the house, littering her toys in every room possible.

You rounded the couch and sat beside your husband, wedging your daughter between the two of you and gently shaking her awake. “Kara? Sweetie, wake up.” You said slowly, and groggily she blinked her eyes open after a few seconds. Even though she didn’t have the personality of your husband, she ended up looking like a carbon copy of Shouta, with the unruly black hair and dark eyes. You ran your fingers through her hair at that moment, then pressed your hand to her forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Daddy says you’ve been sleeping a lot.”

Kara yawned, then set her sights to you. “Mhm. Just tired.” She said, and yawned once more. You smiled slightly, because her action reminded you of Shouta, and went back to playing with her hair. “Oh, yeah? Did you have a busy day at school?”

“Not really. All we did was color, and I was tired then too!” Her voice was returning to a level of its usual lively manor, but her words did little to ease your worries. Her forehead didn’t feel warm, so she didn’t have a fever. You furrowed your brows.

“Do you hurt anywhere?” Your growing panic was evident in your voice, and Aizawa rested a soothing hand on your arm.

“No, I feel okay.”

You turned to your husband, frown deepening. “Should we take her to the hospital? Maybe Urgent Care? I’m pretty sure I have a friend on duty tonight, let me try calling her.” You fumbled for your phone from your pocket, scrolling through the contacts with shaking hands and wide eyes. You stood from your seat, picking up Kara and holding her closely. The phone rang for a moment, pushed up against your ear, before quickly sounding off the mechanical voice asking to leave a message. “Damn.” You muttered under your breath, mind whirling at what to do as you tried to calm yourself by grasping Kara. You still considered yourself a new parent, and just the thought of your toddler falling ill made your stomach churn. “Shouta, she didn’t pick up. Maybe we should…”

You trailed off, turning around to look at your husband only to see him with shocked eyes and jaw unhinged. “Shouta? What’s wrong?” You loosened your grip on your daughter, and that’s when you felt it; the tingling.

You looked down at her daugher, dark eyes brightened to a familiar red as an array of glitter began to swirl around her small body, and eventually your own. Now you were the one gaping at her, silent as you watched everything unfold in front of you. Even her hair was beginning to lift; not as drastically as Shouta’s, but enough to notice. “What in the…”

“She… She erased your quirk with that dust.”

“She did what?”

You snapped your attention to your husband, eyes still widened as the glitter began to disappear into thin air. While Shouta had the quirk “erasure”, you had one called “fairy”; the name was pretty self-explanatory. You could conjure up a pair of transparent wings at will or in great distress, as well as use a type of fog to cause a mind fuzz to your enemies. It wasn’t a very violent quirk, so instead of going into hero work like your husband, you had decided to follow a different route as a psychological investigator, using your quirk to weaken one’s mind and dig the truth from it.

“Well, your wings began to come together, but then Kara… She just made them disappear. I saw it.” Shouta stood up, hurrying over to you and forgetting all about his U.A. student’s papers as he tucked his daughter to his side. “Her eyes changed, and there was some strange glitter before… Before she just erased your quirk.” She was beginning to doze off again, and finally you understood. You used to have similar drawbacks when you first got your quirk, a lot of people did, and now it made much more sense on why she was so exhausted all day.

“Oh my god.” You said, the answer finally dawning on you as an excited smile overtook your frown. “She got her quirk! Holy shit, Shouta!” The dark haired man shot you a warning look at the use of your curse, but you didn’t pay attention to it. Instead, you were bubbling. Your daughter finally got her quirk, and while only part of it seemed to be derived from her father and the other from her surrogate, presumably, you wanted to scream out in joy.

“Oh my god! We’ve got to go get her tested, and make sure everything is okay… Check the extent of her new quirk, how it’ll affect her body. Oh, Shouta, this is the best day ever.” You were blabbering, and tears were beginning to roll down your cheeks. Shouta fully took Kara from you, where she mumbled slightly before falling back to sleep, and used his free hand to grasp your own with a grin.

“Our baby is growing up a lot faster than we thought, huh?” He muttered, more to himself than to you as he looked down at the child in his arms. Kara snored quiety against his chest, snuggling deeper into his warmth as you tried your best to cease your sniffles. “Let’s get her into bed. It’s around that time, anyways.” You didn’t verbally reply, instead nodding your head as you trailed behind him and into Kara’s small bedroom. The walls were painted a bright green, most of her toys still littering the floor as Aizawa carefully maneuvered his way past each one. Kara didn’t even stir when she was tucked into her bed, deep in sleep as her father tucked her in. For a moment, the two of you stood beside one another, staring down at the sleeping form of your daughter with nothing but adoration, before you sighed.

“… I love you, Aizawa.” You murmured, leaning into your husband’s side and resting your head on his shoulder, eyes still trained on the sleeping form of Kara as her chest gently rose and fell with each breath. You could feel Aizawa staring at you, and waited a few seconds before swinging your eyes to his own. You saw nothing but love and adoration in his dark eyes, and with a growing smile he grabbed your chin and forced your face upwards, lips hovering over your own. You could smell his breath, a mix of mint toothpaste and the whiskey he had been carefully sipping on earlier, as well as the cologne that still clung to his clothes. You took a deep breath.

“I love you too.” His voice was low, and before a grin could completely overtake, his lips descended on your own. It was a sweet kind of kiss, not full of the clash of teeth and tongues with hands tangled in one another’s hair - although you loved those kisses just as much. One of his hands winded around your waist, squeezing at the skin that hid there, and you pulled back with a giggle. “C’mon, let’s not wake her up. Plus, I know you didn’t finish grading those assignments.”

At that, the dark-haired man groaned, only prompting another grin from you as you shushed him. The two of you left the room, a lingering look at Kara before you gently closed the door with a barely audible click and moving to the couch. “You’re really going to make me do it?” Aizawa said playfully, a fake glare sent in your direction as you shoved him back in his original seat.

“Yup! Or else.”

Aizawa snorted, picking up the pen and handful of papers he had set down moments before. “Scary.” He teased, and you whacked him lightly on the side of the head. Then, just as quickly, you peppered him with kisses. “How about this? Finish grading, and tomorrow we can all go to a cat cafe together. I got the day off.”

He brightened, face noticeably filling with excitement at the idea of sitting with cats all day. “You drive a hard bargain, love…” He sighed dramatically, then resumed his grading with new vigor. “But it looks like I’ll have to accept.”

“… After we take Kara to the doctor’s, of course.”

“I knew it wouldn’t be as simple as you said.”

You didn’t answer, instead placing a final kiss to the man’s hair and disappearing into the kitchen, a grin glued to your face. It had been a good day, indeed, and you couldn’t wait to see what was in store for your family next.

[lovelylogans]

the worst in me

NARISSA: Ah, all this nauseating talk of true love's kiss, it really does bring out the worst in me. You know I've been thinking, if I'm going to remain Queen, I'm gonna need some sort of story when I go back. Hmm... What if a giant vicious beast showed up, and killed everyone? And poor defenseless Queen Narissa, she just couldn't save them! Let's begin with the girl who started it all, shall we?! ROBERT: Over my dead body. NARISSA: Alright. I'm flexible. 

-enchanted, 2007

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: remus, maybe unsympathetic thomas?, confusion/bitterness, self doubt/hatred, mentions of animal cruelty

pairings: none

words: 1,548

notes: so, this is for the 13 days of halloween prompt over at @sanderssidescelebrations​! today’s prompt is dragon witch! this is my first time writing the garbage man, so i hope i did him justice! also i better not see any remrom in the comments/tags!

R—No, no, it’s Roman now, Roman Roman Roman—tightens his fingers around the hilt of his sword, his free one into a fist. His hands shouldn’t be shaking. They shouldn’t. 

He’s done this a hundred thousand million times before. The Imagination is still his realm, still his place, despite the fact that...

Well. Despite the fact that he didn’t feel like him very much, anymore.

But a jaunt into the Imagination could change that. He’ll run around, save some people, feel more like him again. Or, well. The him he’s supposed to be now. Right? Because he’s supposed to be the good part, isn’t he? He’s supposed to be all damsels and dragons and danger, outwitting the enemy and saving the day. That’s him. That’s Roman.

...Right?

He doesn’t know. He should know, but he doesn’t. Since The Split (it’s warranted capitals, in his mind, and he wonders if they’ve kept enough similarities that it’s warranted the same in his mind, too) Roman’s felt... off. Confused. He finds himself shying away from things he’d have fully enthused about before—now he hates things he’d liked, and he likes things he’d hated, and everything is upside-down and inside-out and it’s like his whole existence has been thrown into a maze in a fun-house full of distorted mirrors, and he can’t get out of it, but he’s trying.

So. Imagination. Damsels. Dragon-slaying. Dashing sword-fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise—but is that his thing now, or his? Is disguising himself good or bad? Is sword-fighting good or bad? Who’s got what?

Like he said—he’s trying.

He follows his lines, even if everything’s changed around him—some of his usual subjects have vanished, replaced by new ones, scrubbed clean, and they act like that’s the way it’s always been, so he does too. The whole thing is straight out of a storybook—a (new) page comes to his palace, tells him of a fair maiden who’s been abducted by a (new) dragon witch, in an (old) crumbling tower that’s been the set of a fair few dramatic reenactments before. So he gets on his (new) horse, which doesn’t stink of the stables like his old horse, Phillipe, did, doesn’t have the pretty, burnished copper coat Phillipe did, but rather this one is pure white and only tarnished by streaks of gold in its mane. He isn’t sure what to name it. Caspian? Gwendolyn? Something very fairytale and innocent and pure?

He gets on his unnamed horse. He examines his (new) sword in its (old) scabbard. He rides through the forest.

Some things have changed and he has no idea why—the flora and fauna swap between familiar and alien—and some things have changed and he knows only too well why they might have changed. But he doesn’t want to question it. He’s supposed to be the good one now. If he questions the status quo now, maybe there’ll be a new new one, who knows how to smile and wink just so and is always kind and gallant and never screws up and never comes up with nicknames that sound mean.

Maybe he’ll be called Romeo, or something equally saccharine. 

Roman snorts, and then immediately shies away from the thought, like some bolt of lightning will come to strike him down, strike him in two—or would it be three, then? Because if the bad one is already taken and the good one isn’t good enough anymore, what’ll happen to that one? Will he just be thrown aside? Like a toy that’s lost all entertainment value, replaced by something newer and shinier?

He’ll try harder. He will. He’ll be the best, most perfect, most fairytale prince that ever walked the earth. He won’t ever, ever find out.

“Sorry,” he tells the too-blue sky above him, as if anyone is listening.

And maybe someone is—because he can hear a scream, and a distant, furious roar.

The dragon witch. Roman’s heartbeat starts to thunder and finally, finally, the fight, the rescue, that’s his favorite part, he’ll go out there and he won’t be able to think about being good or bad or right or wrong, he’ll only think about parries and ripostes and lunges, and he digs his heels into the horse’s side with a “HYAH!” and goes galloping further into the depth of these recognized-foreign woods, to the tower, to the climax of the story—

The (new) dragon witch is clutching to the tower, gouging out stones with its massive claws, sending dust and debris scattering upon the ground like snowfall. It roars, again—it has black scales, with almost sickly-green accents, two wings flapping, and massive, curving teeth that would surely gouge Roman right through, if he stepped wrong of them.

Well. It’s certainly a foreboding villain, for his first solo fray back into the imagination, but he mustn’t let any misgivings halt him—he urges the horse forward, and bellows up at the witch, “Unhand her, villain!”

Strangely, the dragon seems to frown at him, and he calls down, voice cartoonishly villainous, “What happened to Phillipe?”

Roman falters, as the horse cants in place. He knows that voice. It’s a new voice, but he knows it, knows it as it’d been the first thing he’d heard after the split.

“Is that... you?” He calls uncertainly.

The dragon seems to shudder, before abruptly, it’s shrinking, downsizing and downsizing and changing until it’s in the shape of a man—a familiar man, wearing black and an almost-sickly green, a demented grin, and a mustache. He’s got bags under his eyes that Roman can see, even from here, ones like Anxiety’s got, and he feels a traitorous spark of concern.

And, for an alarming moment, Roman is jealous. Why did he get the kickass transformation powers—into a dragon?! That’s so cool!

Or at least, that’s what he would have thought before The Split—now, his brain is tossing up example after example of villains transforming into animals—Ursula into Vanessa, Jafar into a genie, Maleficent into a dragon—it’s a sign of evil. It’s a sign of something Bad, and he’s supposed to be the Good One. But half his brain is still stuck on Before, while half of it is stuck on After, and he doesn’t know which thought is his, and he doesn’t know what he believes now, and—

“Did you send Phillipe to the glue factory?”

Roman recoils from the very thought—he’d spent days grooming Phillipe’s fur, feeding him apples and carrots and cubes of sugar, he’d loved Phillipe—and the other him laughs.

Or—no. The other Roman? The other twin? The other side? Is he technically his own side, now? If they were both Creativity, then what—

His confusion gets abruptly set to the side when there’s another, terrified scream within the tower. Roman shakes his head, hard, as if he’ll be able to dislodge this whole crisis of personality like he’s erasing an etch-a-sketch, and solidifies his grip on his sword’s handle, not quite bringing it out of the scabbard yet. 

“Unhand her, foul beast!”

He blows a raspberry, swinging frightfully from the side of the tower, only held by his boot, lodged between where a brick had been dislodged and his grip on one of the (new) spires—he could fall, and what would happen then? 

Is he supposed to care? The death of a villain would be a good thing now, wouldn’t it? But then if that was what was meant to happen, then why bother to keep them split in the first place, why not just divulge the bad, keep the good? Is it bad that he’s thinking about this? Murder is bad, it’s definitely bad, he shouldn’t be thinking about it, but—

“Boooorrrr-iiiiing. C’mon, give me an insult with some pep to it, aren’t you supposed to be Creativity now?!”

Roman grits his teeth, and snaps before he can even think of stopping himself, “Aren’t you supposed to be the scary one, Ja-nefarious?!”

For a moment, Roman thinks he’s gotten him, but that’s before that demented grin widens and that worrying crazed look in his eyes shines brighter.

“I said an insult, not a compliment!” He preens, and Roman scowls.

“What, you can do better?” He says scornfully.

“Well, duh,” he says, and then, gleefully, “You’re boring now—Roman, isn’t it?”

Roman forces his hackles not to rise.

“I mean, think about it,” he wheedles. “Which of us is more useful—the one who comes up with the original ideas, the unorthodox ones, or the one who comes up with the same—“ He flicks a dismissive hand, nose wrinkling. “White horse, sword, save-the-girl kind of story, over and over and over again?”

Roman feels an angry flush take over his cheeks. “Unorthodox doesn’t have to mean murder.”

“Why not?” He said, and he sounded genuinely curious—like a small child asking why the sky’s blue, not posing the question of if murder’s genuinely punishable or not. “Which one will make more of an impact—if I drop this sweet, innocent damsel from the tower, or you saving her?”

“Don’t you dare,” Roman snarls, and the other one—Remus—bares his still-animalistically-curved teeth in a grin.

“Watch me.”

With a wild yell, Roman unsheathes his sword, and charges.

(He wonders if it makes him bad that a fight and seeing his brother him is the first thing that’s made him feel semi-normal since The Split.)

[sewingcirclesworld]

Mistress Hubble and Miss “I’m so magical”

@softestofbrooms HB and Julie pre-relationship get to know you betters? Like just a step or steps from that first meeting to possibly being a ship? ________ First prompt done, I hope you like it! Enjoyed writing this and thinking about continuing the story in the future if I have the time :) ________

The first time they meet Julie can’t help but instantly notice how this woman all dressed in black looks at her. An infuriating smirk on her lips and eyes saying “You don’t belong here” which doesn’t make it easier that she still can’t get her head around the idea that Mildred, her little Mildred, joined a school for witches. “So you’re magic, and all the teachers are magic, and the girls learn…magic?” “I see where Mildred gets her quick wits, Mistress Hubble.” There is something in the way in which this woman pronounces her name, slow, a deliberate tease. “Alright, Misses I’m-so-magical, if you think you’re so much better than me, how about conjuring up some manners?” Although Hecate would never tell anyone, she is secretly impressed that this non-magical woman dares to speak to her like that. It is certainly a refreshing change. Normally people are too scared around her to say anything more than a quick “Yes, Miss Hardbroom!” before disappearing as fast as possible. But not this woman. This woman looks her straight in the eyes and makes it clear that she is a force to be reckoned with, despite being non-magical. Some weeks have passed since the beginning of the school year and the students have a free afternoon with permission to visit their families. “And how is that teacher of yours doing, this Miss…Harshdoom?” “Mum!” Mildred starts laughing and then corrects her mother. “Miss Hardbroom is strict as always, she seems to hate me in particular cause I’m not from a witching family but Enid and Maud help me a lot so it’s okay.” “Well I know how clumsy my little girl can be sometimes.” Julie winks at Mildred who just managed to get flour all over the kitchen table. “Not fair you taking HB’s side! And you asked me to help with the cake!” “I just wanted to spend some time with you on your day off, and you can take the cake with you when you go. Share with your friends, eh? Maybe Miss Hardbroom would also like a piece”, she teases her daughter who seems to freeze even at the thought of offering her teacher some homemade cake. Maybe she should have tried since HB is in a bad mood, worse than usual, and shouts at everybody except at Ethel of course. At first it seems like she just wants to ignore Mildred’s bubbling cauldron but the fear that the girl might blow up the potions lab, again, makes her stop. “And what do you think is this?” “An invisibility potion…Miss?” “Are you asking me or are you stating a fact, Mildred Hubble?” “Definitely an invisibility potion! I think…” Hecate is visibly turning red at the sound of her words. “You think? Didn’t your mother teach you anything about self-confidence?  Even if a potion doesn’t turn out like it’s supposed to be, you have to show that you put everything you have into making it and that you are convinced of its success! And now take this mess out of my sight!” When the lesson is over, Mildred is still scrubbing her kettle, trying very hard to erase every speck of pondweed or mashed maggots. She almost climbs into the kettle which is turned sideways and therefore doesn’t notice her teacher’s presence. Hecate has calmed down a bit, now that all the noise is gone, and looks at the girl with something resembling a smile on her lips. “One would imagine you were a bit more confident in yourself with a mother like you have.” “What?” Mildred crawls out of the cauldron and bumps her head in the process. “Did you say something about my mum?” “Oh, only that she seems very self-assured. And I heard her say not to be afraid of that potions woman no matter how scary she might be.” Mildred desperately wishes her mum wouldn’t have walked her back to school yesterday evening, but even more than that she wishes to disappear into the ground. Or turn into a frog. Anything to avoid looking at Miss Hardbroom. “I, uhm, sorry Miss Hardbroom, she didn’t mean to, well, I sometimes talk too much and she must have heard…something wrong?” Now she dares to look up but to her surprise the teacher does not look angry. Is that a smile? But it is a sad smile somehow and Mildred is suddenly not afraid of this woman. Hecate looks at her, just looks, without the usual judgement, and then waves her hand to dismiss the girl. Her friends are still waiting for her outside and instantly fire questions at her. Did she get extra detention? Does she have to clean up after everybody for two weeks? 500 lines, surely! But Mildred just shakes her head and is unusually quiet for the rest of the evening. The second time they meet is on Hallow’s Eve. Miss Cackle has decided to hold a parent-inclusive Halloween party to strengthen the bond between the families and the school. From the moment the invitation arrives, Julie is kind off freaking out about the festivities. “What if I have nothing to talk to the other parents about? What if nobody even wants to talk to a non-magic person? And what should I wear? Do you have a spare cloak or something?” “Mum, it’s gonna be fine”, laughs Mildred. “If HB could see you right now, making such a fuss, you ‘self-assured woman’ you, she’d probably change her mind.” “Change her mind about what? Millie, what do you mean?” Julie’s voice rises a few notes and Mildred realizes she has made a mistake. “Nothing mum, just something HB said. By the way, Maud’s and Enid’s parents can’t wait to meet you so you definitely have to come!” Her mother seems to be a bit calmer, as far as Mildred can see through the mirror. They chat about school stuff and how the neighbour’s dog has escaped again and are about to say goodbye, when Julie suddenly starts to hem and haw. “So, about Miss Hardbroom, did she really say that?” “Well, yeah, she wanted to lecture me that I should behave more like you I guess, more confident. She was kinda nice in that moment, still don’t know why.” “Alright…well, see you Saturday then!” And Julie leaves the room before Mildred can find out why she asked. The girls have spent all day decorating the big hall and the entrance and Miss Cackle has allowed some of the older pupils to help in the kitchen. That is why the food resembles old fingers and bloody eyeballs, and the Witches Brew has been enhanced by a bit more alcohol than intended. Everywhere you go you see girls playing tricks on each other and parents standing in small groups, talking. Mildred takes another look across the room and Enid slaps her on the shoulder. “Hey, your mum’s fine! See, I bet my mum is showing her some embarrassing pictures of my first broomstick lesson now…” “If you say so…” But Mildred smiles. She hadn’t shown her mother how nervous she has been, one freaked out Hubble is enough, but now everything is going really well. Her friends’ parents had warmly welcomed her mother and now they seem to have a good time, chatting and laughing, so Mildred feels comfortable in leaving Julie alone. There is one trick the girls really want to play on Sybil and her friends before the night is over and they haven’t found them yet.It is true, Julie enjoys talking to the Spellbodys and the Nightshades. They are nice people, very different from each other but open-minded and not at all disrespectful towards Julie like some other parents in the room. Nevertheless, she can’t help but sneak a few glances towards the woman in black who is standing almost in the shadows of a corner. She hasn’t moved since Julie started to watch her and nobody approaches her. Hecate looks almost like a statue, a beautiful one admittedly, except when she raises an eyebrow and has to visibly hold herself back when some girls near hear are fooling around with a jumping pumpkin. She seems so detached from the world around her it is no wonder nobody tries to talk to her. She looks lonely. “Excuse me for a bit, I’ll be back later, alright?” Julie gives the others a smile and disappears into the crowd. First she needs some encouragement. She would not admit it, but she also feels intimidated by Miss Hardbroom. Back when the teacher talked to her disrespectfully she answered back almost out of reflex and to defend Mildred, but this is a different situation. She almost downs one cup of Witches Brew and shudders due to the bitter aftertaste. With two new cups in her hands she makes her way across the increasingly filled hall. You got this, Julie. You are confident and never have a problem with making small-talk. Say something intelligent. “Want a cuppa?” Hecate is too surprised that somebody actually came up to her that it takes a few seconds for her to notice the hand holding a steaming cup under her nose. She takes it and looks at the blonde woman standing in front of her. Julie blushes under the intense stare and searches for something better to say when Hecate opens her mouth. “Thank you, mistress Hubble.” “It’s Julie. Well, I don’t know if you do this first-name thing and mistress sounds actually quite nice, but, uhm, anyway, how are you?” Hecate lets a tiny smile escape. This woman is adorable in a way, talking too much and blushing again, and now she is looking at her like she actually wants to have an answer. “I am…I don’t like so much noise, or crowds, so, could be better.” She doesn’t know why she is telling her that. Almost a stranger, also the mother of her problem child Mildred Hubble, and a non-magical person! But her eyes are kind and she is the only one that came to speak to her. “I’m not one for big crowds either”, Julie admits and nibbles on her drink. “Wanna go somewhere more quiet?” Hecate’s eyes widen just a tiny bit but Julie notices and quickly adds: “I didn’t mean it that way, I just, I…oh you know!” It really is cute and the witch is tempted to tease her more, but then she just turns around and opens the door leading to the hallway. “Well, are you coming?”

[modernart2012]

Grave Robbing for Fun and Profit (Mostly Profit)

@sumigakure ​ Halloween Event 2017

Bonus Prompt: Grave Robbing

Word Count: 14170

On AO3

Summary: Aka - Kagami may have lost the battle, but he will win the War.

Takes place in the same Universe as You remind me of (Home). Consider this the sequel that also ate my brain

Kagami bursts into the room, panicking at a decent Level 7. “Profess - FIRE GOD’S FLAMING BALLS MY EYES!” He recoils trying to erase what he had just seen from his retinas, but then remembers who is following just behind him. “MINION NO!!!! DON’T COME IN!!!!” Trying to cover his eyes and block Orochimaru’s eyes simultaneously was pretty hard, especially since Kagami isn’t precisely sure where Orochimaru is.

  Orochimaru pauses behind him somewhere, unfazed, “Kagami, I am best friends with Jiraiya. I have undoubtedly seen and heard worse.”

  Kagami doesn’t think that’s a valid defense. “No! Bad! Minors shouldn’t be exposed to these sorts of R rated things!” He bops Orochimaru on the nose like a particularly misbehaved puppy, and gets a startled look for his efforts. He’s going to regret that when his coffee is exchanged for decaf pumpkin spice - a vile monstrosity on all parts - tomorrow. Today. Whenever the next most convenient time/place was. Whatever, live fast die young and all that. Then he whirls back around to his cousin and his … actually what are they? Dating? Boyfriends? Lovers? Is this the right time to ask if they’ve DTR’d?  Wait, that isn’t the point, “Why were you doing that sort of thing in a place where anyone could just walk in on you?!”

  Cousin Madara makes a high pitched whine of horror and abject humiliation, and Professor Senju simply quirks an Eyebrow of Doom at them. “This is my private residence. The door was locked.” Kagami wants to frown disappointedly at Professor Senju - they’d known each other how many years now? A locked door means nothing.

  Orochimaru calls over from the bookshelf, “Kagami picked the lock.”

  Cousin Madara groans harder, covering his face with his hands. Tough luck, but it really didn’t do anything for his disheveled hair and half-unbuttoned shirt. Or Professor Senju’s missing shirt. Which, good job Cousin Madara, Professor Senju is fit. Would this be the time to send a Subtle and Discreet Thumbs Up? “Is there a particular reason you broke into my home at … 8:16 pm on a Saturday, Kagami?”

  Oh. Oh yeah. “I,” Orochimaru interrupts with a pointed cough, “- I mean we - fixed the issue with the Reanimation technique.” Both Cousin Madara and Professor Senju blanch simultaneously. Kagami hadn’t known either of them could go any paler. “Wait, no, we made it work on a dead dog. There are no supernatural zombies this time.”

  “This time?” Orochimaru perks up, interest piqued. Oh, Fire God’s balls.

  “NO. BAD MINION. NO SUPERNATURAL ZOMBIES FOR YOU.” Maybe Kagami should invest in a spray bottle. Properly training and socializing one’s minion is hard work. How did Professor Senju ever get him trained? He catches Orochimaru glaring at him with calculation in his eyes, turns his head and sees the exact same look on Professor Senju, as if both are contemplating the best way for him to die. He resolves to work on his death glare. Clearly that’s what he’s been doing wrong this whole time.

  “And this couldn’t have been a text message why?” Ah, there’s that throbbing vein in Professor Senju’s forehead. Kagami’s old friend.

  “Well, see, that’s a long story….”

  500,000 ryo, two favors of his choice, a house, and a left kidney (extraction pending) was the final pot that Cousin Izuna won. Plus a second date with Tōka Senju, though that might have been incidental to the actual bet if the way he was walking funny was anything to judge by. Kagami wonders where he had gone so wrong, to lose out on that much stuff. Did no one pity the young and their student debt? Cousin Izuna didn’t need that stuff, he had a job that paid well. Except the date with the Senju lady, he’d been starry-eyed long enough over her. Kagami is still holding out hope on a double wedding - tensions are still rampant with the Senju, so having a two-for-one wedding would limit the amount of dead bodies created. Unless it was Uncle Setsuna, in which case, fuck Uncle Setsuna.

  Cousin Hikaku is unimpressed. “Kagami. Please stop clutching my leg and crying in public. You’re scaring the children.” Kagami looks over at where Orochimaru and his friends are staring at him impassively over various forms of ice cream.

  Kagami considers for a moment, “They are minors.” Genius minors that were revolutionizing their chosen fields of study, but still minors. It still wasn’t enough to stop him from flopping pathetically over Cousin Hikaku’s lap. He had no shame, and Hikaku was the best for cuddling.

  Jiraiya blusters around his mint chocolate chip mouthful, “We’re 16, not idiots!” Tsunade ducks his wildly gesticulating spoon, calmly sipping at her milkshake.

  Orochimaru eyes Jiraiya skeptically, “Are we absolutely sure about this.” When Jiraiya chokes on his ice cream in his haste to disabuse Orochimaru of the statement, neither he nor Tsunade made a move to help.

  “Aren’t you studying to be a doctor?” Kagami asks Tsunade distractedly. He didn’t know people could actually turn that color. Maybe he should take pictures? Jiraiya might want to know, he is a writer and he needs descriptions.

  “The Medic’s Oath only applies to those who are your patients. Jiraiya is not.” Over the sound of Jiraiya coughing, Tsunade adds, “Besides, he’s coughing. He can breathe.” With a move that spoke of years of practice, she punches his breathing back into normal pattern. “Are you finished having your pity party over losing one portion of the betting pool? I want to know so I can decide if I need to get another milkshake or not.”

  Kagami slumps over. “No, I’m done.” The youth were so jaded and cynical these days! Where were their hearts? Their sympathy for their fellow struggling humans?

  Cousin Hikaku decides that he’s going to be nice for a moment and scritches Kagami’s head like he did when they were little. Long suffering and patient. “There there, Kagami.” It felt good where his hair was still growing back in after having it burned off by Cousin Madara - who knew Cousin Madara had such excellent aim even without being able to see? Luckily he had been in a hospital already.

  “What’s the big deal about having debts anyways?” Orochimaru asks. Jiraiya and Tsunade nod, because genius and young meant that they had caboodles of money falling out of the sky into their laps for their achievements. “You just have to make something and patent it and you get money for it and pay off the debt.”

  “Says the Baby Experimental and Theoretical Magician Who’s Already Famous for Their Experimental Magic, the Kabillion-times Awarded Writer Renowned Throughout the Elemental Nations and Has People Falling Over Themselves to Buy Their Books, and the Medic Who’s Already Revolutionized the Medical Field Plus Invented New Magical Technology.” Kagami accuses. “The most groundbreaking thing I’ve worked on is already owned! By the military. A little to the left Cousin Hikaku, ah, right there. Perfect.”

  “It’s kind of scary, but you really can hear the capitals,” Tsunade muses. Orochimaru nods once in agreement. Jiraiya looks intrigued.

  “You know, this is giving me all sorts of ideas for my next novel,” Jiraiya comments over the edge of his notebook. “Kagami, would you say you’re feeling pampered and well-cared for?” He thinks for a moment, “Actually, would you say that you’d call Mr. Hikaku ‘Big Brother’ or ‘Master’ in this situation? Or is this more ‘Peon/Servant’ like?”

  Tsunade and Orochimaru exchange speaking looks, then Tsunade punches Jiraiya in the head. Kagami blinks blankly. Come to think of it, what kind of books did Jiraiya even write?

  “It doesn’t matter, the project is a dud for want of control of the subject.” Kagami groans into Hikaku thigh. They’re very comfortable, unlike Cousin Mikoto who apparently has never heard of skipping leg day and has thighs that could crush a man’s skull. Then the Idea hits him. “Wait! THAT’S IT! I just need to invent and patent a fool-proof control seal, then when the Man wants it I can name my price!” He grabs Orochimaru, “COME MINION! LET US AWAY!” He’s a good Mentor, so he makes sure Orochimaru has his ice cream cone and napkins before he drags him away. Rule One of Minion Keeping: Take Care of Thy Minion.

  As he dashes out of the ice cream parlor, he faintly hears: “Hey, Mr. Hikaku, how much is the minimum amount to place a bet in the betting pool?”

  “Tsunade-hime, no.” Jiraiya moans in despair.

  “Tsunade yes.” Kagami feels the fingers of the Lady of Death wrap around his coffin and shivers, but Experimental Magic waits for no man and he forges on.

  Kagami pauses as he hears a stomach growl. “Minion, why didn’t you say you were hungry?! This is unacceptable. Professor, I’m pressgang-ing your kitchen. Come along Baby Snake.” He marches confidently out of the room, because his cousin’s whatever’s house was his house too and all that.

  Cousin Madara splutters, “Kagami you can’t just tell people you’re taking over their kitchen.” Because Cousin Madara didn’t do the same regularly. The hypocrite. Besides, Kagami needs to know how Professor Senju keeps his kitchen before he gives Cousin Madara his blessing. Kitchens tell you a lot about a person, after all, and it wouldn’t do to have a kitchen heathen in the family.

  Professor Senju looks at his - whatever - in askance, “Is that the only issue you with that?”

  Cousin Madara shrugs, “It’s Kagami,” as if that explained everything. Which, maybe it did but that’s because he’s sensible and everyone else around him is slightly insane.

  Orochimaru seems to concur, “We had ice cream for breakfast yesterday because Kagami said he needed to eat his feels and it’s proven to be good for mental health.” Still he gets up and follows Kagami like a good minion, and receives a piece of candy for good behavior. Cousin Madara and Professor Senju trail behind looking perturbed. Whatever, they just don’t get his genius.

  He sets the dishes in the sink to cleaning as he pokes around for ingredients, because 1) eww, who wants to have to do dishes on date night?, 2) he’s pretty sure he’s going to need that spatula because Orochimaru likes eggs, and 3) it take less than a thought, so why not. “Professor Senju, where do you keep the rice?” Omelette rice was simple and tasty, but he’d been practicing making egg curry rice balls and he needed guinea pigs to taste it before unleashing it on the unsuspecting masses that was the grad student lunch-luck. He was going to beat out that asshole Inuzuka in the Medical Pharmacology department if it was the last thing he did in graduate school. Choices choices.

  Professor Senju ignores him in favor of asking, “Is this like the House Thing?” Oooh, fresh tomatoes. Curry it is.

  Cousin Madara nods while Orochimaru looks up from where he’s perched on the counter petting his snake, “What House Thing?” Then he pauses and corrects, “I don’t want to know if it’s something kinky.” Kagami passes him another candy. Good behavior must be rewarded. Cousin Madara makes a dying noise and collapses into a chair.

  “That doesn’t matter, you heard Tsunade make a outrageous bet and didn’t think twice about your course of action?” Professor Senju asks while pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s somehow managed to procure a shirt, boooo.

  Orochimaru speaks around his mouthful of candy. “To be fair, Tsunade is usually wrong.” She usually is - there was a reason all the local bookies were fighting over if it were fair to tell people what she had bet on. It tended to drive up business, but people tended to win more, so it’s pretty much an even split as to opinions.

  “Before we go any further, do we really need to know anything that transpired in the last 24 hours?” Cousin Madara sounds pained. Maybe he’s eaten something that doesn’t agree with him? Kagami isn’t surprised, the man likes his spice with extra spice and that’s not easy on the stomach.

  Kagami sets the rice to cook and pulls out the first of the (frankly lacking) vegetables to be chopped. “Well, yes, mostly because I’m pretty sure the military and international police are hunting for us.” At least one, possibly two, but that wasn’t important, really.

  Kagami is pretty sure Cousin Madara is praying for a lightning bolt to kill him dead right now. Someone really ought to keep an eye on that, praying to die is probably a sign of depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

    “Kagami, why are we breaking into the Restricted Archives.” Orochimaru nods and smiles at the librarian at the desk, because he’s somehow gotten in good with them and Kagami would like to note it’s entirely suspect because his minion routinely fails Socialization 101 so him being in good with anyone is questionable.

  “We’re not breaking in.” Kagami protested as he scanned his universal access card that he had copied from the Dean’s Office. “We have an appropriate pass and everything! And it’s broad daylight!” Nothing illicit happened in broad daylight.

  “A pass the administration doesn’t know you have and that I would stake my third undergraduate degree on you having obtained through less than legitimate means,” Orochimaru points out.  Kagami pretends to not notice as Orochimaru subtly picks his pocket and clones the pass on his phone. Of course his minion wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have access to knowledge!

  “Baby Snake, have I ever led you astray?” Kagami leads the way down the long aisles of books, looking for the shelves with the advanced and forbidden sealing techniques. There was some book about mind control seals, something from the heyday of sealing in Uzu no Kuni. Kagami had seen it before, back when he had been packmule-ing texts for Professor Senju.  

  He walks confidently down the corridor to the rotunda where the shelves started.Forbidden fire magics, forbidden earth magics, forbidden water magics (oooh, Kagami would have to remember that there is a text on torture methods, that one’s new), forbidden air magics, forbidden nature transformations, forbidden bukijutsu (weren’t all bukijutsu forbidden?). They should be getting close, sealing was usually hidden deeper in the vault of libraries, where the wards were older, stronger, and more sensitive to intruders trying to forcibly break through.

“Kagami, you regularly get lost. Do you really want me to answer that?”

  Kagami swears the quality of minion has gone down since his day. That’s it, Orochimaru gets to re-calibrate the micro pipettes, no wet bench experiments for him. “Ah, here we go.” Finally the right shelf. A quick perusal of the titles gained nothing significant, so Kagami takes the most promising titles and then dumped the less promising ones on Orochimaru. “To the research tables!”

  Four hours of scribbling notes and painstakingly copying seal matrix elements later, they had exhausted the texts they had claimed and started in on round two. Upside, Kagami is pretty sure he could pass any pop quiz Professor Uzumaki gives on sealing and it’s theory in that moment; downside is that he’s running low on candy to bribe the minion with. He stares moodily at the latest betrayal: the right text (finally!) but one written in code. “If this ends up being a puzzle like in Full Metal Alchemist, I’m going to invent time travel just to go back in time to punch the author,” Kagami informs Orochimaru.

  At the blank look he gets in response, he fears the worst. Then, “Wouldn’t you rather use time travel for something … more humanitarian? Like, ending wars before they started?”

  “And jeopardize my own existence? I think not.” Honestly, did Orochimaru think he was born yesterday? Kagami has a healthy appreciation of the Grandfather Paradox. What if he were to end up with multiple Uncle Setsunas? He’d have to go to jail for pre-mediated multiple homicide, no matter that he’d be doing the world a service. Objectively, it’s not worth it.

  Orochimaru considers Kagami thoughtfully before nodding, “Fair enough.” Then, with slightly too much magic, he twisted air and lightning-flavored-fire together and the air was awash with books flipping through their pages madly, pausing open on certain pages. A second twist, this time water via a snake hand seal and the blank loose leaf surrounding them began to fill with information. As soon as the information from each paused upon page was noted, and the rest of the book checked for relevance, the books returned to their places on the shelves.

  Kagami had to admit it was a neat use of magic, but also, “Are you trying to blow us all up? Air and fire together is liable to cause an inferno! Channeling water through a primarily earth magic hand seal? It could have exploded the entirety of the University! Where would you get such an idea from anyways?” He keeps thwacking Orochimaru over the head until he steps out of range.

  Orochimaru rubs the back of his head where Kagami had whacked him petulantly, “Professor Sarutobi’s done it before.”

  “Professor Sarutobi has practiced in a controlled environment, with more hand seals until he could do his spell with only a few hand signs, and not just experimented on the fly. And don’t try to tell me that you didn’t just make up those spells just now.” At least Orochimaru has the sense to look guilty. “Seriously! You’re a genius, did you not think that through at all? Just… don’t do it again. Get the notes and let’s see what we have.”

  What they have is a hot mess. Not even the fun kind of hot mess. Time for trial and error then. “Grab your tablet, we’re going to have to test seal matrices.” Thank the Four for Professor Uzumaki developing a seal and ward prediction app. Draw in your proposed seal or ward, and it would spit out what it would do. No more explosions in the Sealing and Wards department! The only downside is the drawing - Kagami isn’t in the Sealing and Ward department for a reason. Glancing over at Orochimaru’s chicken scratch, it’s clear that there is a good reason he isn’t either. It was going to be a long day.

  “Actually, wouldn’t it just be easier to scry for the right elements?” Orochimaru, that sly bastard. “I mean, we should have enough moon-harvested water around, and we have a thrice-mirrored bowl?” Kagami waits patiently for the answer to become obvious - there’s a good reason they can’t use scrying here and it would compute in 3, 2, 1 … “Oh, the symbols.”

  “Exactly. Premontionary and Clairvoyant magic is a lost magic for a reason, and it isn’t because we can’t do it. We just can’t focus in on when or what we want to see.” Kagami chews his lower lip in concentration; the whorls of the external enclosing planes had to be precise for energy direction. Would an earth based element as a part of the directory pathways help or hinder the process? Air elements wouldn’t be right, they weren’t look for knowledge, they wanted mind control which was as opposite of knowledge that they could get, but water’s malleability conflicts with earth and it’d become a muddled mess.

  It was an unfortunate shortcoming, but the application wouldn’t, or rather couldn’t tell you where you went wrong. Just that the seal didn’t work, or that the energy pathways ruptured, or memorably, with one frustrated scribble, death and destruction to the bonds between molecules. From that point, things rapidly devolve as their eyes begin to blur with strain. They had created a 13th brand new variant of explosive seals - really, they’re easier to make than anyone wants the average person to believe - when the latest seal matrix is announced to probably have mind control properties. Kagami nearly drops the tablet in shock. “Holy Fire God’s blessed ashes. We did it!”

  Orochimaru catches the tablet when Kagami finally finishes fumbling it around. “It only says ‘probably’, though.”

  Kagami doesn’t stop dancing in celebration, “It’s good enough for a test! To the graveyard!” He moonwalks to the door and is halfway down the hallway before realizing. “Wait! Save that seal,and the rest, and print out like seven copies of each on seal paper. Plus the Reanimation seal! Let’s test the lot!”

  It wasn’t a long trek to the graveyard, but they’d stopped to pick up lunch and snacks, plus water bottles and a bag because who knows how long it’d take to get through all of these seals. Proper hydration and feed was the undisputed key to excellent research, everyone knew that. It was also around lunchtime and research did not wait for growling stomachs.

  Then they realized that it was an exotic pet cemetery and no one really needed a tiger on the loose on the off chance that the seal failed to work and had to go to the opposite end of town for the regular pet cemetery attached to the regular human graveyard way in the back.

  “This one seems promising!” The headstone read “Spot”, and that was a normal pet name. Easy enough, really. Probably a dog, maybe a rabbit if someone had a rabbit with a spot -

  “It’s a cat.” Orochimaru boggles from where he’s prized off the top of the casket. “This is ‘Spot’?”

  “Now now, minion, we can’t judge people on their naming sense. Afterall, ‘Spot’ is a human name too.” And he had always wondered what had happened that Uncle Tajima had agreed to that name. Aunt Akane really must have put the fear of the Four into him….

  Kagami shakes himself out of his spiral of thinking when he hears the crunching of gravel. “Quick, hide,” he hisses at Orochimaru, then scrambles into the bushes. Grave robbing is a crime still, no matter that this is in the name of Experimental and Theoretical Magic, and Kagami would like to not go to jail, thank you.

  Two figures in dark cloaks trudge up the path carrying flowers. Small Lords of Ash and Smoke, please let them not pause at the dug up grave please let them not pause at the dug up grave pleasepleaseplease - The figures stop in front of the dug up grave. Fuck the Water God’s sacred duck.

  “What’s happened to Madara?” The tall one with the face cloth cries, part horror and part vengeance-will-be-mine. He drops to his knees in the mess, sifting through the dirt and grass pensively. After a long moment, “They can’t have left too long ago, Hidan. The soil is still freshly overturned.”

  Kagami and Orochimaru exchange looks and in an unparalleled instance of reading each other’s minds sprang into action simultaneously. Orochimaru sprints in the opposite direction while Kagami leaps out and blows the strongest fire spell he can muster into the face of the two men.

That should take care of that - “Flame of the Fire God!” A scythe rips through the fire ball, closely followed by the bare-faced man, Hidan, who looks remarkably undamaged for having taken a fire ball point blank.

  Kagami makes the executive decision to run. He’s halfway back to his car, dodging sweeps of the scythe and vaulting over headstones, to where he hopes Orochimaru has gotten in and started the engine, when he feels a solid thwack to his skull and the world goes dark.

    Cousin Madara groans from where he’s watching tomatoes stew down on the stove, poking at the mass warily, “Every time I think this can’t possibly get any worse, it does. First with the breaking and entering, then the grave robbing, and now kidnappers.” He points the wooden spoon that’s been stirring the sauce in Kagami’s face. “You are never allowed out without supervision again. Ever.”

  Kagami pouts, “Excuse you, but you’re not the boss of me.” He sticks his tongue out for added effect.

  Professor Senju had pulled out a cooling compress around the time they got to the graveyard, and lifted the corner that was just over his eyes. “You did say ‘Hidan’ correct? Was he by chance with a man named Kazuku?”

  Orochimaru perks up from where he’s been patiently shelling field peas, “Do you know them Professor?”

  Professor Senju pauses, then states baldly, “Kazuku tried to kill me and Brother once.”

  He replaces the cloth just in time to miss Cousin Madara whirls around, “When was this?!” Tomato sauce flies off the spoon as Cousin Madara gesticulates frantically. Kagami really hopes it won’t stain the pale Iron blue Professor Senju had painted his kitchen. Even if it was mostly for show.

  Then the thought occurs to him, “Ah, to be fair, they were more like jacks-of-all-trade rather than just kidnappers? They did ransoms, sacrifices, assassinations, bounty hunting, serial killing/mass murder - what’s the difference by the way? - plus or minus some contract killing, but that could be the same as assassination. And odds jobs, as long as they paid.”

  It’s like a record had jumped and scratched. Professor Senju and Cousin Madara exchange a Look, and how sweet, they’re at the stage where they could hold entire conversations with their eyes! Practically married! “And how did you come by this information?” Professor Senju queries calmly and carefully.

  Orochimaru answers from where he’s digging his snake out of the pea shells, “Oh, we talked to them.”

    Contrary to what the movies would have you believe, getting knocked unconscious tended to be traumatic and leave one with a ringing in the ears and a throbbing in the skull. Unfortunately, the lack of light in what appeared to be a car trunk meant Orochimaru wasn’t able to check him from concussion, and the lack of room meant neither of them could risk a small flame to see either. As it was, someone had disabled the emergency escape latch in the trunk so rolling out and getting to a medical facility was completely out of the question. Or so Orochimaru tells him, Kagami is a little too nauseous to check for himself. The bouncing of the car tells him they’re not on asphalt, more likely gravel or one of the many forest roads that are covered in rocks and tree roots. Either one is not a good sign - neither of those are features of roads anywhere near the University.

  Telling Orochimaru that would do no good; Frightening the Minion is Not to Be Borne. So instead Kagami announces with as much dignity as he can muster laying on his side curled into the fetal position. “I think I am going to vomit.”

  The car comes to a screeching halt. “Oh, fucking no you don’t! I just got the Chariot of Fucking Destruction detailed!” Ah, the dulcet tones of yelling. They don’t help Kagami’s swimming head, or the building roiling of his gut.

  Which is how Kagami projectile vomits all over Scythe Dude when he yanks open the trunk. He flops over the rear bumper and moans pitifully. He wants ice like burning and the cloud-blanket Cousin Izuna had knit him that felt like a hug when he snuggles in. And his mom to pet his head like she did when he was little. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

  Apparently so, because he gets hoisted up into a fireman carry by Mr. Strong Arms and - Holy Fire God he has muscles. ”Do your workouts work out?” He squeezes the bit of bicep he can reach, and pokes at the trapezius on his other side. The robe gets in the way a bit, but thank the Four for partial nudists!

  Orochimaru follows sedately behind. “I apologize in advance for Kagami.”

  The Veil-Face nods sympathetically, “I as well; Hidan always uses too much force.”

  Orochimaru extends a pale hand, “Orochimaru. I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you but - ”

  “Kazuku. Don’t worry about it, we’re consummate professionals. We will ensure that this is as painless as possible so you are inclined to leave a positive review about your experience.” The handshake they exchange is firm and cordial. Kagami thinks he needs to set up a module on Kidnapping 101. This is most probably not the proper thing to do when kidnapped. Professor Senju never had to give him that lesson; he can’t even trawl through Professor Senju’s archives for help. He moans, he doesn’t want to have to create a new Power Point, they take forever and what does he even say? If the University finds another incident of suspicious search history….

  “Oi! If you puke on me again I’m sacrificing you to Jashin-sama!” Hidan barks over his shoulder, apparently concerned by the pitiful sounds Kagami is making.

  Kagami thinks about it for a moment, over the murmur of conversation Orochimaru and Kazuku discussing … immortality and magic natures, or something like that? … before going for broke, “Who’s Jashin-sama?”

  He takes Kazuku’s, “Lady of Death preserve me in eternal life,” at face value. There’s only a select few people who would ever call on the Lady of Death and only the movies would have you believe they’re all crazy, much more likely he’s a follower of the Lady of Death. Weird, but much more plausible. Immortality was myth and legend, and not even a Lost Art myth or legend; at least those had some evidence towards being real and replicable.

  “Jashin-sama is a great and benevolent God, heathen! Take a page from this wretched soul and listen to the word of Jashin! Maybe you’ll be saved!” Hidan crouches to let Kagami down at the base of a tree, and then gestures at Orochimaru to get himself over there too. Then he starts rummaging through his pockets, apparently that cloak had a lot, and deep ones too. Kagami’s impressed, he’ll have to ask after the make and model and get himself one. It seemed useful, like a lab coat only socially acceptable to wear outside of lab.

  Kazuku sighs heavily, before stating blandly, “If either of you have people willing to pay ransoms for your safe return, and/or pay for repairs to Spot’s grave, speak now.”

  Orochimaru eyes Kagami speculatively, before taking the proffered call phone and dialing. “Professor Sarutobi? I’ve been kidnapped. So has Kagami. Yes, Kagami Uchiha. Please comply with our kidnappers requests.” Orochimaru listens intently, nodding to whatever Hiruzen says, before handing the phone back to Kazuku.

  Kagami can feel the disappointment from Hiruzen already. He’d bet last night’s authentic Uzu ramen that he’s going to be lectured at the next faculty meeting. He’ll have to bring a discreet snack, Hiruzen tended towards long-winded and unnecessarily complicated explanations and lectures that were probably best delivered in vernacular rather than high-brow concepts and metaphors. Where he even picked up that tendency was anyone’s guess, Professor Senju was concise and to the point and definitely was not a dick about things like Hiruzen. Maybe if he threw a glove to issue a challenge? Kagami could take Hiruzen in hand-to-hand combat. He only had nitrile gloves though, did that even count?

  “Aha! Found it!” Hidan bellows in triumph, breaking Kagami from his stupor. “Time to enlighten you heathens to the truth, to Jashin-sama!” He unfolds a small booklet, before straightening his spine to pronounce with gravity, “Tenet the first: Everything is destined for utter destruction.”

  “Makes sense, the second law of thermodynamics.” At Hidan’s blank look, Kagami expands, “You know, entropy? Everything is in a constant state of decay, everything in the universe is on track to be completely destroyed? Everything tends towards destruction? It’s basic physics!”

  Hidan looks conflicted, “Your heathen science has somehow found the truth, yet is still heathen and ought to be rejected.”

  Kagami crosses his arms, “You can think of it that way, or you can think of it as science being the explanation for the Unknown Mysteries of the Universe. ‘A Search is what They have wrought for length, and depth, and wideness.’”

  A series of thoughtful nods, then Hidan clears his throat. Kazuku reappears from between the trees, phone call over. Orochimaru asks him conversationally, “So, what is it that you do?”

  Hidan continues, “Tenet the Second: To wreak Destruction upon everything is the highest calling. Anything less is a sin. Tenet the Third: Discard those who fear death, for there is nothing more holy than the end. Death is the absence of fear. Tenet the Fourth: Those who undergo the mystic rituals will find immortal life by the will of Jashin-sama.” He pauses, then, “Remember these tenets, because they will be the core of your life henceforth! You, once you have accepted Jashin-sama and the teachings of Jashinism, will live and die by these fundamental truths.”  

  Kazuku looks up from his notebook and calculator, apparently tabulating something, “We do a bit of this and that. Whatever pays most at the time, kidnapping, ransom, contract killing, bounty hunting. Odd jobs, as necessary. Keeps the bank account flush.”

  Hidan spits, sidetracked, “Of fucking course, because this heathen piece of shit only worships money. He’s killed monks and destroyed temples for money. Blasphemous motherfucker, sold out his own country for a quick buck.”

  Kagami would like to point out the obvious, but it might not be a good time. Considering that Hidan pulls out his scythe - which, on second look, is really impractical, given that it has three blades on the same side, meaning that unless one uses it in a primarily overhand chopping manner only one blade is ever going to do the cutting - and Kazuku is queuing up magic like it’s a Magic combat tournament championship. “Are you going to sacrifice me to your Jashin-sama? Without praying? Am I neighborly enough to qualify for killing, Hidan?”

  And now would be the time to duck for cover. Because Kagami hasn’t heard that level of vitriol and barely leashed rage since the time someone made a sexist remark about women in front of Koharu. He’s willing to stake his life on the fact that they’re about to see a similar level of beat down, with the same exact sum number of witnesses: none. “Minion, move.” He pushes at Orochimaru’s shoulder with as much this-is-imperative-listen-to-me desperation as he can muster, because they are both in danger of dying and -

“Fucking rot in Hell.” Before Kagami can react- even think about shielding Orochimaru from what’s coming, because he’s too young to see something like murder - Kazuku’s neck is severed. Blood gushes forth, and then thousands of thin black threads that quickly attach Kazuku’s head with no other apparent damage beyond the new set of stitches to his throat. It is easily one of the most horrifying yet fascinating things Kagami has ever seen.

  “Fire God’s Eternal Flame.” Kagami can’t stop replaying the scene he saw over and over and over in his head. Orochimaru is the only thing holding him upright; his bones have turned from jelly to water. There’s no way - Kazuku moves lightning quick, or must’ve, because the next thing Kagami can see is that Kazuku’s fist is through Hidan’s chest. Hidan only laughs maniacally.

  “Like that sort of thing can kill me fuckwit.” The scythe swings down and slices through Kazuku’s arm for long enough that Hidan slides straight off the end of his arm. The gaping absence in the middle of his chest starts to close over before their eyes. Right. Immortality. Damnation of sulphur and ash.

  Luckily, the duo seems well matched in terms of ability and wholly focused on trying to murderize each other. “Orochimaru. Tell me you got the keys?” Kagami whispers lowly as they stumble blindly through the woods. Every now and again the sound of a massive collision roars by, tinged with different magic types equally. Monsters, the both of them.

  A cloud of dust and high-speed wind has them ducking behind one of the massive trees that Hi no Kuni is known for. It adds a new level to the ringing in his ears. Kagami wants to blame his still throbbing head, but he would swear that they’re not getting any farther from where the immortals are duking it out. “Come on Kagami, only 500 meters to the car, we can make it.” Orochimaru, such a good minion, being supportive… and supportive, given the fact that Kagami’s arm is around Orochimaru’s neck and the teen is half carrying him since his legs are failing to support him properly without assistance. Once Kagami got a chance, he was going to promote Orochimaru to Head Minion. Maybe Chief Lab Assistant. Definitely put him up for the “Best Minion Award” at the next departmental grad student meeting.

  The crack of a twig that didn’t come from their footfalls first alerts them that there is something else out there that isn’t just them and the still clashing monsters wreaking havoc across the landscape. There were red laser dots flitting across the tree trunks, but that was probably a hallucination - Kagami really needs to get his head checked out. “Shit.” And Orochimaru is cursing. Since the last last time Kagami had ever heard a curse exit Orochimaru’s mouth was after he paralyzed his arms, he’s suitably alarmed.

  Orochimaru picks up his pace, moving diagonally to flank the dancing dots. They’ve nearly gotten behind the shadowy figures gliding through the dappled shadows and dust clouds when a low and dangerous growl starts up behind them. “I would stop moving if I were you.”

  “Would this person happen to have white hair? In a completely non-regulation ponytail? Scary, but nice scary? Younger than Kagami but Older than Orochimaru?”

  “Uh, he had a wolf?” Really that was the most memorable thing about him. That thing was clearly suffering from gigantism, or whatever the canid version of Marfan’s Syndrome is. If it even was a regular canid and not some beast of myth and legend. Kagami got a hair sample. Just to be sure. Who knows, maybe Celestials and Spirits had DNA like normal mortal creatures. “Do you prefer vinegar and sugar rice, or just plain rice in your rice balls.”

  “This explains why I got a phone call about someone who looks like an Uchiha cavorting with known criminals and fleeing from the military.” Cousin Madara looks conflicted, then passes the vinegar and sugar. Kagami would have to be sure to add extra spice to the curry to balance it out then.

  “And you didn’t expect Kagami?” Thanks Professor Senju, Kagami’ll be sure to give him a rice ball with all the pickled plum. He didn’t get into trouble that often, and most of his family are employed in law enforcement.

  “Look, you try meeting the Wild Hunt and not fleeing. I have things to achieve and they all start with no getting scooped by the Fair Folk and spending eternity hunting things down. Or being hunted. Or being eaten. ” Kagami grumbles, then floats over a mug of coffee. Going 24 hours without the nectar of the Gods is pushing it, okay. He needs his fix.

  Cousin Madara makes a pinched face. Kagami adds a pinch of asafoetida, anise, and turmeric to the curry - indigestion and constipation is normally the cause of faces like that. “Sakumo Hatake isn’t Fae.” Shows what Cousin Madara knows.

  Orochimaru protests, “He had a massive wolf! That’s not normal for humans.” What’s left unsaid is that it’s normal in the stories for Wild Hunt to have large predator companions. Like massive wolves. That thing was easily the size of a bear. Not a small bear either, like a bear on steroids. Some Princess Mononoke animal shit.

  Kagami agrees, “Definitely a Heavenly Dog.” To add more garlic or more soy? He leans over to proffer a spoon to Professor Senju - whatever he says, the opposite. Unless he says it’s fine in which case both, plus chilies. Kagami’s sure he saw a dried Ghost Pepper in the spice cupboard…

  “Fuzzy isn’t a Heavenly Dog.” the statement is bald and matter-of-fact, but what does Cousin Madara know? It’s amazingly clear Cousin Madara knows nothing. Then Cousin Madara stops to think, as if reviewing the conversation because something’s not adding up. “Why would you even think that the military was the Wild Hunt?”

  Kagami is too busy trying to wrestle the soy sauce bottle away from Professor Senju’s control, Fire God’s Flame he was strong, so Orochimaru answers instead. “Immortals are a thing. Who knows what else is out there?” He pauses to consider, then, “But since you know the white-haired Fae, please apologize for us about the screaming. And running. And the fire. There was a lot of fire.”  Oh look, Cousin Madara can look even more horrified. Kagami should take a picture for the databook.

    Kagami would like to contend neither he nor Orochimaru screamed shrilly like small children. They scream like terrified grown adults, thank you very much. Even if the response is confused whining and pained distress on the part of the wolf and a startled look on the Fae’s.

  Granted, Kagami’s automatic response is to punch the human-looking one in the face. It’s sloppy, and Kagami resolves to return to the dojo with Cousin Madara and Cousin Izuna because apparently just being in academia does not mean that he’s exempt from needing to throw punches.

  Though, since it lands and has the Fae stumble back in surprise, Kagami will take it. He feels the cold-prickle-shhhh-shiver of Orochimaru’s magic, and ducks on instinct. He’s not surprised when a blast of fire flies over him, or the yelp of both Fae creatures as they scramble away from the flame. Idly, Kagami notes it’s blue, but then he’s too busy running in the opposite direction to note much more.

  Neither he nor Orochimaru are concerned by stealth anymore; clearly the jig is up and was always up since, you know, Wild Hunt. There is but one choice, and only one: to go sprinting through the underbrush at top speed (or rather, at a fast stumble) and keep firing the most destructive magic they know at whomever crosses their path and dodging the magic sent their way, plus or minus Heavenly Dog. Heavenly Wolf. Whatever. It’s not like they need to worry about  permanently hurting anyone they come across, since one group is immortal and the other is … immortal. Huh. Tonight has been wild on the things Kagami thought he knew for a fact. Maybe he should have Orochimaru research immortality for his senior thesis….

  Orochimaru pulls them both into the boughs of a particularly ancient oak with a fancy twist of air magic, bringing them safely out of the reach of snapping wolf jaws. “We’re - ,” there’s a crackle of lightning and Kagami tackles Orochimaru flat to the wood as the bolt flies through where their heads had last been. “We’re not good, Four Almighty.”

  Orochimaru snarls as lightning strikes the tree proper and shakes it violently. “Kagami, hold still.” He startles then feels the distinct feel of cold-prickle-shhh-shiver and his headache alleviating. Ooooh, healing magic. Magic fingers.Kagami could sigh with relief.

  “When did you learn healing magic?”

  “One of my closest friends is a prodigy healer. Where do you think?” Right, pissed off Orochimaru is snarky. Must remember. Kagami isn’t going to complain, because his head feels clearer than after a 4 coffee morning and it’s a minor miracle. He opens his mouth, only to be cut off, “No I will not be doing this regularly. Deal with your caffeine addiction like a normal person.”  then Orochimaru launches into a complex series of hand seals and Kagami takes that as his cue to be cute and distracting.

  “Hey~, Mr. Wild Hunt. Are you looking for little old me?” He calls innocently into the shadowy forest. “Wolfy?” Kagami almost misses the nearly silent exhale Wolfy breathes next to his ear, but does manage to stick his hand in Wolfy’s mouth just in time to feel it so it all works out anyways. He never knew that such a massive, powerful animal could look so startled, but then again, Kagami is also technically a member of an apex predator species and he’s definitely surprised to find his hand in a mouth unexpectedly. They make awkward eye contact, and carefully Kagami extracts his hand from Wolfy’s mouth. “Let’s never speak of this again,” he intones solemnly, and he’d swear Wolfy agrees.

  The forest around them rings with the sound of spells and shouting, but the bubble around the two of them is uncomfortably silent. Kagami likes to think they’re each trying to figure out where to go from here, because what does one do after they stick their hand in someone else’s mouth without prior consent? Is there some protocol after removing one’s hand? He’s probably already missed his window to apologize, and now the situation is stuck.

  Kagami’s about to ask how Wolfy’s finding the weather when he’s saved by Hidan and Kazuku bursting through the tree-line in a flurry of scythe and magic, swiftly followed by the Wild Hunt wielding guns and military-grade spells. It takes some creative dodging of what looks like a particularly well-executed evisceration magic, ducking of a three bladed scythe, and fleeing-for-his-life-ing of bullets - which, huh, Wild Hunt must have gone modern, who would’ve thunk it - to get away. For a given value of “get away”, since he’s muddy, covered in leaf litter, being chased by a massive wolf (though, Wolfy seems to be playing with Kagami and trying to eat Hidan and/or Kazuku, and that’s a small comfort really), the Wild Hunt (also aiming to kill Hidan and/or Kazaku, whomever’s more open), and Hidan and Kazuku (one of whom is bellowing about sacrificing Kagami to Jashin-sama to free him from his irrational fear of death, and the other of whom is hissing about Kagami being necessary for getting the ransom). This is also discounting the various tree roots, rocks, and …other things Kagami bolts over. The less noted about those the better.

  He’s about to dart over a river-creek-moving body of water thing when he sees shapes surface from the middle of the river. Fire God’s Fury, weren’t Fae supposed to be unable to cross running water? Or was Kagami confusing them with the undead? In any case it didn’t matter, because Orochimaru finally finished his overly-complex set of hand seals and the world turned to smoke and ash and roaring flames as far as the eye could see.

  Not that it seems to bother the water Fae. Kagami flails and backtracks back towards the chaos of the pursuing vanguard since he has no burning desire to experience the hospitality of the Fae now or ever. Running for so long has left him a little winded, but hey, there’s nothing like getting in a bit of adrenaline-fueled cardio in the afternoon. Plus the leaping, evading, sending spells blasting off in every which direction, and avoiding the general mayhem is easier said than done, even if the Wild Hunt are doing their level best not to hit him. Or hit Wolfy, who’s been following him like a cat playing with a mouse, and Kagami feels especially hunted - Wolfy seems to be herding him, but that can’t be right because wolves are not sheepdogs. Really, all the near-misses of nipping and circling is unnecessary. Can’t he just run for his life in peace? Is that too much to ask?

  Apparently so, because he’s just ducked Hidan’s electrically-sparking scythe - no clue if that’s because it’s actually electric or simply electrically-conductive - and managed to stumble his way out of the firefight with minimal physical damage. His magic pools are running low- he’s not a monster like Cousin Madara or Professor Senju - but that’s okay because that will fix itself with enough time and rest. And then he rests his eyes on what is possibly the most horrific sight today. This time his shriek is shrill. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

  Orochimaru perks up from where he’s pinning a very twitchy white-haired Fae to the trunk of a tree. “Oh good, you’re here.”  Still, he makes no move to release the Fae and Kagami curses whatever God decided that he needed a Minion like this.

  The Fae makes desperate eye contact while trying to maintain the maximum amount of distance between himself and Orochimaru, “Please get him off of me.” That was clearly begging. An extremely powerful Fae is begging.

  “But I haven’t finished seducing you.” Orochimaru purrs. Even worse then Kagami initially suspected. Wolfy begins to sidle away with a confused whine but stops and whines even harder, ears flat, clearly conflicted. Kagami is similarly conflicted, since on the one hand, this is horrifying beyond all reason and is completely inappropriate, yet on the other hand he wants to claw his eyes out and unsee this scene with prejudice. Unfortunately, there is only one correct answer.

  “Four Almighty, this is sexual harassment. This is so much sexual harassment.” Kagami fists his hand in Orochimaru’s collar and pulls him off the Fae. “I’m so sorry about this, I promise he was raised better than this.” Then to Orochimaru as Kagami shakes him, “What in the Twelve Hells possessed you to think that was okay?” The Fae looks traumatized - Kagami hadn’t known you could traumatize ageless beings who hunted people down in various gruesome ways for fun; he really hoped there wouldn’t be a complaint lodged with HR at the University. Given his luck, there would be.

  Orochimaru looks unrepentant, “But it worked! It bought just enough time for you to come without him messing with the seal.”

  “That doesn’t make it better!” Then Orochimaru’s response processes, and then Kagami has to double check that he heard that correctly. Suspicion colors his tone, “What seal.” It does not escape his notice that the Fae and Wolfy are sidestepping away as if they’re both insane and liable to go bonkers at any moment. He can’t decide if that’s good or bad - on the one hand, they’re too insane for the Wild Hunt, on the other, they’re too insane for the Wild Hunt. Kagami clearly needs to rethink his life choices.

  Orochimaru beams, “This one!” Then there’s a massive burst of magic and the world turns into a whirling light tunnel.

    “There are so many things I want to say, I have no idea where to begin.” There is a distinct air of resignation to Professor Senju’s tone, and Cousin Madara preemptively left 15 minutes ago to get medicines to combat both of their growing headaches. “The idea that you’d encountered Fae, the fact you ran from the military - and incidentally caused an International Incident, by the by, it was on the news- of not one, but two different countries, the fact you,” He glares over his steepled fingers at Orochimaru, “thought sexual harassment was a viable path for a distraction, or that you used a seal for travel.”

  “It worked!” Orochimaru throws his hands up in defeat, then stalks out of the kitchen. His snake remains curled happily on top of the still warm rice cooker, flicking it’s tongue out at intervals.

  Kagami exchanges a Look with Professor Senju, before saying, “The department is doing a refresher course on sexual harassment in a week, I already signed him up.” He has a spoon whirl between the oil poaching eggs cooking sous vide to make sure they’re not sticking together, then fishes out the seaweed from the drawer. “And in all fairness, the seal did transport us elsewhere. Just not where we expected to go.” He tastes the rice, before adding a dash of sugar. “What’s this about the news?”

  Professor Senju just groans.

  The seal has some of its intended effect in that they’re transported from point A through space to point B. Though given that Point B ends up being smack into a tree several hundred feet above ground, it’s a mixed bag.

  The nausea it causes isn’t ideal either. But hey! It worked! They’re not dead or lost to the space-time continuum! This is a win for Experimental and Theoretical Magic! With a little tweaking it’d be fine!

  “Where were you aiming for?” Kagami asks in between retching. It’s a small comfort that Orochimaru is also retching and green.

  “I was supposed to aim?”  Right Orochimaru is no longer allowed to transport them anywhere.

  “You didn’t pay attention in the lab meeting regarding the Teleportation seal?” If Kagami weren’t already alarmed he would be now. The lab meeting had only been preliminary, after all, and had only reviewed the basics of a Teleportation seal, or rather what remnants had been found and pieced together from ancient sealing treatises. That seal hadn’t been complete, and yet apparently Orochimaru tried to use it.

  “I usually tune out the lab meetings.” And that explains a lot. Kagami knew Orochimaru couldn’t be taking such detailed notes, the slippery little worm.

  Kagami really can’t wrap his brains around the fact Orochimaru used an unknown seal on live human subjects. “You could have killed us.” An unfinished seal, was a surefire way to die.Not to mention entirely unethical. Was this actually one of the Twelve Hells and Kagami just didn’t know? It might be, since everything due … left  is scrub. Were any of the Twelve Hells scrub land?

  Orochimaru winces as he twists onto his back. “I doubt I could get it to work again - Idon’t have enough magic left to try it again, and a few magic pathways ruptured in trying to get the seal to function.” Kagami winces at that proclamation. The only one of the two of them who had any clue how to do basic first aid was the one who was injured, with ruptured magic pathways, and Kagami has no clue where they are. It’s nearly nighttime, though, and Kagami has been forced through enough wilderness survival training camps/simulations/exercises by his relatives to be competent at navigating them via the stars.

  He fishes through the pack that’s miraculously stayed with them, mostly intact. “Here, have a sandwich and water. It should help some. Slowly.” It would go a long way to dealing with magic replenishment, but not if it was just vomited back up again. Rule One and all that. He digs around some more and finds a bag of candy. Oh good, ginger flavored - great of anti-nausea. “Suck on this too.” Kagami popped a piece himself, for the ginger and the sugar content. Neither of them had eaten since breakfast, and it shows by the way his stomach growls. If he’s hungry then Orochimaru must be as well. Kagami takes a moment to peer over the edge of the branch they landed on.

  It’s not too far down to the ground, not if he uses a few well placed bursts of air to slow his descent into something more manageable. There look to be some edible berries, and since Kagami has no clear idea of how long it will take them to get back to some form of civilization, it’d be best to gather some and save the snacks they had brought for if they ran out of edible foods. The act taxes his magic pools, but not noticeably enough given his magic’s already depleted state. At least he’s not completely exhausted like Kagami suspects Orochimaru is, no matter that the teen is trying to play it off like he’s got something left. Orochimaru isn’t finished growing, and so long as his body is in flux, so are his magic pools. They’ll even out eventually, and probably into the upper end of the spectrum, but for now they’re still developing.

  There’s a glut of blackberries, but Kagami avoids them. Fae fruit are suspect, and he doesn’t need another set of Fae on their case at the moment. He whispers an old rhyme to appease them anyways, because who even knew what rules ruled interactions the Fair Folk anymore if they were going around with guns - gunmetal had iron in it, right? A few meters away he finds a large strawberry bush, the berries brilliant red and ripe. Good fortune, which Four know they need more of. He fills his two handkerchiefs, and the already emptied sandwich container before eating his own fill of the berries. He knows they’re a stopgap measure at best - the terrain is rugged, and there probably isn’t much by way of travel options beyond “on foot”. With that in mind he pulls up some dandelion greens, and nettle greens nestled in among the branches of the strawberry bush and eats a handful. Mmmm iron.

  It’s only when he hears the low telltale hiss of an agitated snake does Kagami freeze. He knew he was forgetting something important; strawberry bushes attract snakes. Okay, that’s not necessarily true, but for all intents and purposes of this situation, Kagami is going to simplify into ‘strawberry bushes attract snakes’. Damnation of sulphur and ash.

  “Hello little one.” And now Orochimaru is involved. Professor Senju and Hiruzen would gang up and kill him dead, reanimate him, then kill him dead again if their precious prodigy is even slightly injured; Kagami is afraid to think of what would occur if Orochimaru dies out here. “And what’s your name?” He’s cooing at a snake. A - Kagami checks the shape of the purple reptile’s head - probably venomous species of snake. Fire God’s flaming balls.

  Kagami eyes where Orochimaru is petting the wild snake, then at the dandelion greens. He’s absolutely sure those are dandelion greens and not hallucinogenic, but he hasn’t been bitten by a snake - and snake species native to Hi no Kuni  don’t have venom that cause hallucinations. His eyes drift skyward, only to be met by twilight still. So either he’s hallucinating realistically, or this is reality. Kagami will take the hallucination, thank you very much.

  Orochimaru and the purple snake stare at Kagami judgmentally, which isn’t fair because hallucination snakes don’t get to be judgemental. “Why not?” And the snake speaks. Thanks brain.

“It’s not the little one, Kagami.” It knows his name. It knows his name. What. How. Why. Even Orochimaru looks surprised, so win for hallucination.

  “Kagami.” That’s an alerting-warning tone if Kagami ever heard one, and he turns to look behind him, where Orochimaru’s eyes are fixed.

  He makes eye contact with a massive black snake, one who’s easily as thick around as a tree trunk and could easily fit Kagami in it’s mouth if it chose to. And now it’s laughing. Why is it laughing. Kagami wasn’t built to deal with hallucination snakes laughing at him. Can he quit this adventure in favor of fleeing back to the University and Professor Senju’s lab? It was safe there, or at least it lacked hallucinogenic agents that weren’t properly labeled with warnings.

  “Greetings, Honored One. This one calls himself Orochimaru, and this one Kagami. May we be honored with what you are called?” Pros of Orochimaru and his obsessive compulsive need to know everything- he’s got a surprisingly good grasp of the classic tales.

  “This one is called Kuroda. The little one is called Manda. And I know your names human.” The tone is amused, and has an odd double timbre to it that echoes around Kagami’s skull, all the way back to the very recesses of his lizard-hindbrain.

  It clicks faster for Kagami than Orochimaru, feat of feats. “You’re a telepathic Celestial Snake.”

  “Indeed. You’re much faster on the uptake than most humans.” The last bit is tinged with idle curiosity-noted-respect. “You must have been well taught as a child. Rare these days.”

  With good reason, because Celestial Snakes are currently thought to be tiny (comparatively to the massive snake in front of them) tree dwelling snakes in the coastal forests of Uzu no Kuni and a tiny part of Hi no Kuni that ate birds and other small creatures and prized for their rainbow scales. The whole telepathic and massive thing was supposed to be just legend; then again, Kagami’s met not one, but two, count ‘em two Immortals and more Fae than he can count  in the last 24 hours so this doesn’t surprise him at all. Not even the slightest bit.

  “Honored Kuroda, can we request your assistance? We are far from home and would like to go back.”

  Kuroda raises himself up to squint down at Orochimaru, who is standing tall and composed before the Celestial Snake. “You are strange little human. Your soul is something cold, yet warm, deadly and safe to those you love, a thing that squeezes tight and sinks it’s fangs in deep and does not let go. A snake-souled little human if there ever was one.”

  “I am honored by your words, Honored Kuroda of the Celestial Snakes.” Orochimaru bows neatly.

  Kuroda continues as if Orochimaru had not spoken at all. “I think I shall have Manda stay with you to see what you become, snake-souled Orochimaru. He knows the way back to human civilization, and will lead you there. Travel well, little humans.” Kuroda must have deemed the conversation over, because he turned his huge body around the tree and disappeared into the encroaching twilight.

  “You thought you hallucinated a snake.” Cousin Madara paused where he was shaking out pills from the bottle that proclaimed it to be ‘migraine strength!’ anti-headache medicine, then shook out two more apiece for himself and Professor Senju. Awwww, significant others taking care of each other. Reminds Kagami of his parents being lovey-dovey and taking care of one another.

  “A massive Celestial Snake, yes.” He pauses in forming the rice ball, neatly packaging it in a strip of seaweed, before plating it before Orochimaru. A smaller rice ball with more egg and less curry is placed in front of Manda. “I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t a hallucination though.”

  Orochimaru strokes Manda’s head, offended. “But Manda is real and took us to Yu no Kuni.”

  “And how. I never heard Manda speak. For all I know he’s a normal snake.” Manda bares his fangs in an obvious threat display, affronted. Probably. In any case, Kagami gives him another rice ball.

  Orochimaru rolls his eyes, “Kagami, he’s telepathic. He was talking to me the whole way. How else did we find that multi-terrain vehicle?”

  “Luck? I had strawberries!”

  Cousin Madara swipes some rice balls, and gives half to Professor Senju before digging in. “So what’s this about Yu no Kuni, and would it have anything to do with why half of its hot springs district is demolished.”

  Kagami and Orochimaru share a Look. “The Hot Springs Destruction was entirely the fault of the Wild Hunt and the Yu no Kuni military. We just happened to be there.”

    By dint of winning rock-paper-scissors, Orochimaru gets to drive when they stumble across the jeep. Or Manda leads them to the jeep. Whichever makes the most sense, since Kagami hasn’t heard a peep from the supposedly asshole snake. Kagami takes a minute to demonstrate how to hotwire the car, but after that it’s all Orochimaru. It’s not like anyone’s around to call them out on the fact that Orochimaru doesn’t have a learner’s permit, and there’s no one around to crash into or injure, both important when teaching a beginner driver. This is a proper, normal learning experience and Kagami is willing to let his Minion have it. Plus, it’s nighttime and this can count as his nighttime driving experience! It’s a three-for-one!

  It’s also easier to navigate when he can stick his head out the roof and call out directions instead of having to keep pausing and rechecking directions. Though the point of that is rendered moot by Manda who is supposedly telling Orochimaru what to do - Kagami hasn’t heard a word out of the snake. At least so far, though, he and the snake are in agreement - they’re in western Hi no Kuni and headed to Yu no Kuni because that’s the closest site of civilization. Also, least likely to be suspicious of their lack of passports and the easiest way to reorient themselves into the direction of the University.

  On top of it all, Kagami found a massive wad of cash in the glove compartment, and it’s more than enough for a swanky inn for the night, including baths, and dinner. He knows he has enough grime, leaf litter, and other associated muck on him that a bath would be glorious.

  The moon and stars are bright and  light their path, so they make good time. It’s a little past 1 am (according to the probably wrong car clock) when they finally pull into the hot springs district of Yu no Kuni. The town is still bustling with activity, so they blend in seamlessly, for a given value of seamless. Some people look at him scandalized, as if he’s done something terribly illegal by tromping through the town disheveled and dragging his younger companion (also bedraggled) behind him, but it’s usually people who look like tourists rather than residents of the town.

  First things first, though. Kagami leads the way into a small clothing shop, since he’s fairly sure neither of their outfits can be salvaged. They’re going to need a first aid kit too, and then a hot meal and a bath. Actions one and two are completed quickly, and so is checking into a nice looking inn. The innkeep directs them to the baths,  saying dinner will be delivered after they’ve had their fill of the mineral rich waters. “Ahhhh, there’s nothing like a bath,” Kagami sighs happily as he pushes open the door between the dressing room and the baths proper, towel tucked neatly around his hips. He cleans off dutifully at the provided showers and stools, scrubbing away the accumulated grime and dirt from his hair and skin, humming happily. It was such an underrated luxury, to be clean. Orochimaru, with his long hair, will take longer and Kagami leaves him to it.

  The baths are sparsely populated at this time, with only a handful of other patrons lounging in the bath. The steam rising from the water occludes their faces, giving a nice hint of privacy, and Kagami gratefully slips into the hot water. The sounds of the night are muted, the laughter and noise of the crowd still on the streets dulled by the high walls surrounding the baths, the only discernable noise is … giggling? Kagami tries to tune it out, return to relaxing and letting the stress of the past day flow out of him, but the giggle rises in volume, and sounds…. Close?

  His eyes fly open -who the fuck giggles late at night like a perverted child flipping through a skin mag when sane people are trying to relax? - and Kagami whirls to confront the hooligan, temper snapping. “Oi, knock it off, or by the Small Lords I’ll make you.”

  His eyes meet Jiraiya’s startled (and guilty?) ones, then move to the notebook Jiraiya’s clearly been scribbling in, then the hole in the partition between the men’s and women’s baths. “Are you  peeping?!” It’s just Kagami’s luck that the quiet murmurs around them fall silent just as he speaks. In the blink of a moment there’s chaos, screams of outrage and terror filling the space. Someone on the women’s side - someone with spectacular aim - lobs over a stool, then a tub, then a rock, and each misses Jiraiya by centimeters as he scrambles out of the space.

  Orochimaru sighs from where he was just slipping into the bath. “By the Four and the Heavenly Courts, Jiraiya.” He gets up and rewraps his towel, disappearing into the misty after his erstwhile friend. Kagami decides it might be best to leave the area, since he knows that look on his Minion. Someone’s going to be eviscerated, and it’s still a 50-50 split on if it’s going to be verbal or physical. Getting viscera in his hair right after he just got clean is not a pleasant thought.

  A massive stone splashes violently into the bath from across the barrier - someone on that side must have a terrifying temper - tossing Kagami about like a toy boat caught in the currents of the Nanako.  He headbutts straight into a well developed pectoral, and he’s about to apologize, but - “Hey I know that bicep!” Just to be sure though he feels it up, and yup, he’s encountered that particular bicep before. Now, just where -?

  That particular question is answered quickly when Kagami ends up pinned by the throat to the side of the bath. “Oi! Heathen, ready to be sacrificed the Jashin-sama?” Oh good. Immortal One, Hidan. And where one immortal is, there’s bound to be - ayup, Immortal Two, Kazuku. They both look terrible, a mess of stitched over wounds, bruises, scabbed over cuts and burns plus or minus what look like bullet holes.

  There is only one recourse and that is to scream. Screaming in bath houses drew attention, and not of the good kind, and for good reason. No one wanted a pervert preying on someone in a bath. Hidan drops Kagami like he’s hotter than burning and starts quickly paddling away, but not quickly enough. One of the men at the other end stands, “Hey you! What were you doing?!” He’s built like a brick shithouse and is coming this way like a bull rampaging.

  Kagami takes the quickly escalating altercation as an opportunity to go fishing around his toiletries tub, thanking whatever God is looking out for him that he stuck a few disintegration seals in there prophylactically. He’s just about to pick one out from the bottom when he hears Kazuku loom up behind him. “We meet again Kagami Uchiha.”

  Sweet Flame of Heaven, could that man be any more menacing? Kagami turns rigidly, hoping that the Immortal won’t notice the crumpled wad of sealing paper in his fist, “Ah-hahaha, fancy meeting you here Kazuku! Are you enjoying your soak?”  Please please let societal conventions trap him like it had Hidan.

  Kazuku’s face veil hides any visible reaction beyond the narrowing of his eyes. “Better having found our missing ransom prisoner. I’m afraid I must insist you return.” Kazuku clamps a hand on Kagami’s shoulder, fingers digging in painfully. “We’re awaiting quite a sum of money in exchange for you. Pity no one specified ‘living’, though.” And there came the creep-factor. A+ Mr. Immortal.

  Kagami pretends to mull it over as he rises to his feet. “Just out of curiosity, how much am I worth?”

  Kazuku’s taken aback. “What?”

  “How much am I worth? Like, how much money are you expecting to get for me? I’m not a prodigy like my Minion, I’m not famous or rich, and I’m not paid all that much so I’m not someone with a massive net worth or anything. I can’t imagine anyone I know having the money to pay a ransom, except Minion and he probably wouldn’t because I’m pretty sure he’s not all too fond of me and is probably lulling me into a false sense of security so that when he finally decides that I’m of some specific use, he can play up the ‘favorite Minion’ angle and get away with whatever he needs, probably something entirely unethical, immoral, and/or illegal. It’s a toss up at this point. Either that or he thinks I’m a hilarious bumbling fool and is humoring me for comedic effect. In any case, he wouldn’t pay a ryo for me; nor would Uncle Setsuna cause he’s an asshole. All in all, I’m really not sure that you could’ve asked for all that much money, so I have to ask, how much am I worth? And is all the hassle of kidnapping me really worth the pittance you’re going to get?” Kagami hopes his nervous sweat is taken instead to be water from the bath. He’s only got one shot at this, and keeping Kazuku on the back foot with his anxious babble is imperative.

  “Aah- that is- Um, how should I say -,” Kazuku is frantically trying to think up something complimentary, and Kagami moves. The seal slaps down onto wet skin and adheres as Kagami forces magic through. Black veins scrawl out like a spiderweb of death over Kazuku’s silent scream of pain until they’ve covered the entirety of Kazuku in ink, and then with a underwhelming puff disintegrated into dust.

  Kagami sets fire to the ashes just in case - Immortals. One more thing to add to the list of traumatic incidences of the week, but on the bright side he’s got another functioning seal to patent. This one is all his, too!

  He trots towards the exit, hoping that Muscles McMuscley over there can keep Hidan occupied, but has no such luck when Hidan gets thrown across his path into the decorative stone wall. Experimental and Theoretical Magic holds that any result could be due to random chance, so repeated testing is necessary. Kagami looks at his spare seals, and goes for broke with a shrug. He’s already offed one person today, might as well  go for broke and collect the set. Hidan puffs off without so much as a farewell, and Kagami immolates his ashes too. For symmetry, and poetic justice. Unfortunately, it does nothing to fix the damage caused to the bath from the violent response to Jiraiya peeping, but Kagami is not responsible for that in any way shape or form. Things are looking up, finally.

  Almost immediately he has to reverse that opinion. The white-haired Fae is trapped in the entrance, Wolfy-less, by Orochimaru and Manda. The poor man - Kagami hopes the Fae is male, but really doesn’t want to go ask about gender and pronouns of the Fae since it’s really not his area of study - looks like he’s been through the wringer and then some, but also like he’s humoring Orochimaru who’s looking interested in all the worst ways; Kagami has to sympathize. A swift kick to Orochimaru’s butt fixes the situation nicely. “Minion! No sexual harassment in the the baths!”

  “Ah, no it’s fine, really we just bumped into one another -,” The Fae cuts himself off, then quickly does a double take at Orochimaru, then Kagami. “You’re the pair from the forest.”

  “And you’re Wild Hunt.” Kagami hurriedly ducks into the pants and shirt he’d laid out. “How’s Wolfy? I know things are still awkward about the whole ‘mouth’ thing, but can you apologize for me? Wolfy was pretty cool when he wasn’t trying to eat me.”

  “Wild Hunt? What mouth thing?” The Fae is perplexed, but shakes himself from it quickly. “Never mind that, you’re both wanted by the military. Stop!”

  “Oh, would you look at the time. We’ve got things to do, place to be, we should catch up some other time! See ya!” Kagami flashes the Fae a peace sign, then exits the room. He’s halfway down the hall when he hears the thunder of many feet pounding across the wooden floors behind him. Kagami bolts out back onto the streets, which are still crowded, and ducks around groups carousing drunkenly in the streets. Thank the Four for tourist destinations, this would never work anywhere else.

  He sees Orochimaru and Manda slip into the mouth of an alley, and follows. Just in time, as the mass of (uniformed! Since when do they have uniforms?!) people dash past. Some straggle behind, flashing badges and questioning drunks in the street. Orochimaru peers out, then starts digging through the pack. “Here, I think I can wrangle a disguise together, but you’re not going to like it.” Manda peeks out from where he’s acting like a hair tie for Orochimaru’s impromptu ponytail.

  Kagami stares at the assorted items Orochimaru has pulled out, and has a sinking feeling.

    “Does this explain the … outfits?” Cousin Madara asks around a bite of ice cream.

  Kagami has to take offense, because they look great. Arresting even. “ You’re just angry you can’t pull something like this off.”

  Orochimaru lays back and kicks a leg out like a pinup girl, crossed at the knee and everything, like it’s Exhibit A in their defense. Manda hisses, but Manda is biased and can be bought with egg yolk treats, so it might just be him begging for more food. Kagami obliges him either way.

  “This still doesn’t explain the destruction of the hot springs.” Professor Senju prompts around a spoonful of coffee ice cream.

  “The clothing - is- was rather integral to that. Still not our fault though, for want of us not doing much magic flinging.”Orochimaru shrugs.

  “That’s not no magic flinging.”

  “In all fairness, we only had one spell. Is that ‘no magic flinging’? No. But is it ‘town decimation level magic flinging’? Also no.” Cousin Madara opens his mouth, and Kagami slams on the coffee table, “THERE’S NO EVIDENCE BEYOND THE ANECDOTAL YOU CANNOT CONVICT US.”

    “Why did you even buy this stuff?” Kagami would like to lodge a protest with whatever court will take it that he is only doing this under duress. Not that he thinks it’s wrong to crossdress, if that’s your thing - and dresses are really comfortable, even though this one is kinda clingy and short-  but walking in heels. He is only wearing heels under extreme duress.

  “Here, heat the stick bit of this earring.” Orochimaru hands him a pair of dangly earrings. Kagami eyes them, then Orochimaru’s unpierced ears.

  “Minion no.”

  “I’ve wanted pierced ears anyways. Think of it as teenage rebellion.” Putting it that way helps, especially the bit where Orochimaru has him shove hot metal through his ears. Kagami considers the studs left in the pack of earrings, but ultimately decides against it for want of a mirror and stability. Seriously, he’s standing still and wobbling like a newborn fawn.

  Orochimaru pauses from where he’s sweeping on dramatic purple eyeshadow, lone bracelet sliding down his forearm, “Give me a minute, then we’ll sneak out.”

  “Remember, the game plan is drunk. Just until we get to the outskirts of town.” He once overs their appearance in a puddle, then has the hike the top of his dress higher. The lack of straps wasn’t doing him any favors, especially given the fact that raising the top meant raising the hem, and there was no way to make it non-scandalous. He looks at Orochimaru’s much more conservative dress, with it’s sleeves and leggings, and calls shenanigans. “This was rigged, wasn’t it.”

  Orochimaru links their arms at the elbow, then sniffs, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” before they stumble out into the street. The soldiers give them a wide berth since two underage looking drunk girls is a recipe for a career ending headline should someone snap a badly staged photo, and Kagami gets a good look at their badges when he stumbles into one of the younger looking ones. Who knew Yu no Kuni had an active offensive military - last time he checked, they supposedly only had a defensive branch.

  All things considered though, the disguises work well. Entirely too well, as they stumble “drunkenly” into the woods. It’s nearing dawn, and they’ve been traveling across the Elemental Nations for almost a full day, they’re Four knows how far from home, and there are crows. Too many moving to count, though Kagami does try, because that old rhyme hasn’t steered him wrong yet. Orochimaru starts poking at some half moss covered rock, then starts digging.

  He stops counting when he feels a rush of magic - the size and quantity that makes people nervous when it’s not in a controlled environment. “Minion - “

  Then he sees the dog. Wolf. Massive Canis Whateverus. “Fire God’s flames.”

  Orochimaru looks proud, “The control seal works. Guess you have something to patent and sell for a lot of money to the military after all.” What. Right. What they set out to do. That thing. Somehow it feels tawdry, like it pales in comparison to the journey, but considering that had immortals and Fae and shooting and massive telepathic hallucination snakes and sky high heels… maybe it’s because it’s anticlimactic? Now whatever life lesson about messing with the forces of life and death, and the role of humans in the vastness of the cosmos, trying to take the easy way out, the value of thinking before acting - whatever he was supposed to be learning and internalizing - has become moot. He would have been successful even if they hadn’t been caught in the original graveyard, only with less property damage and displacement. Does that fact mean anything? Is it the journey, not the result that’s ultimately worth something, something better than financial stability and security? “Kagami, now is not the time for a meditative trance.”

  “What? Oh. Right.” Kagami scrambles up behind Orochimaru on the back of the … let’s just call it a dog. “Time to head home?”

  “Time to head home.” Poor Manda yawns and uncircles himself before draping himself like a particularly scaled scarf around Orochimaru’s shoulders. The eyeshadow - sharp like winged eyeliner, or whatever Cousin Mikoto likes to proclaim - and Manda match, for a given value of all purples match, and Kagami is struck by a wandering thought.

  “Hey, Orochimaru - “

  “Kagami. Duck.”

  “What duck?” Kagami whirls about on the gently trotting Reanimated dog. Then he sees. “Oh.” And promptly ducks.

  The flaming boulder is large, surprisingly so for Yu no Kuni, which according to legend (and famously) repurposed all its rocks for bathhouses. It still misses by a wide enough margin to be called a warning shot, though, which is a consternation best left for another time since the dog freaks out. It bounds into the town, leaping over buildings and landing neatly in streets as waves of magic buffet them - first an earthquake hemming them in on one side, a wall of fire bearing down on them from due north, a gust of hurricane force gales from above, and Kagami is just waiting for the tsunami of water as he hangs onto the patchy fur of their ride as it bounces around in what might generously be called evasive maneuvers. He tries not to think about the mass destruction such massive spellworks must be leaving, or that he’s still too low on magic to do anything about it. Also, considering that even a most basic shielding spell needs at least two other people (besides himself), he’s still up a creek about stopping the military from wrecking up their people and country’s main source of income. Kagami hopes they have good insurance.

  He stops caring for things outside his gastrointestinal tract around the time they smash a tank - which is painted a completely different design than the Yu no Kuni uniforms, so it might a completely different group, fun - ,though, since he’d rather not given his minion blackmail leverage from puking all over him. Also Manda is in the way, probably would take offense at getting human digestion peristalsis’d all over him, and is still probably highly venomous besides. Kagami decides that focusing on breathing would probably be best and leaves the heavy duty stuff to Orochimaru. It’ll probably be more appreciated long term.

  Maybe he should invest in an anti-motion sickness charm - it might be useful to have on hand, especially given recent events. “Oh, for the Air God’s sake,” Kagami vaguely makes out Orochimaru grumbling caustically, then his world goes black.

    “In all fairness, you were projecting quite loudly according to Manda, and making you go to sleep saved us all the hassle of having to clean up vomit.” Orochimaru shrugs unrepentantly, “I’m not sure why you’re complaining, we got back to the University in one piece.”

  “Doesn’t mean you couldn’t have asked. Also, there is no way you had enough magic to pull off the Reanimation, power the control seal, and knock me out.”

  Professor Senju sighs, resigned, “Not if his current research project is magic storage in crystalline structures.” Orochimaru waves regally, showing off the stone bead bracelet he had pulled on around the time of their outfit change.

  Kagami has never felt more betrayed in his life. “You are an awful awful person and I hope you get caught in shady business and end up in the weirdest situation you could ever hope to imagine,” he informs Orochimaru candidly. “And when that transpires, I will laugh in your face.”

  Cousin Madara takes a hard swig of the brandy bottle Professor Senju had unearthed. “So this is how you ended up on the run from international law enforcement, the military of Hi no Kuni, and the military of Yu no Kuni. Yet you came here why?”

  “Oh that’s easy. We need an alibi. And to patent the seals. Uh, plus we may have broken into the Registrar’s office.”

    Omake:

  “So, who all bet against Tsunade’s bet?” The show of hands was depressing. No one would have any reason to suspect that the regular goings on of a Friday night would make international headlines, much less cause International Incidents.

  Hikaku read the bet slip.‘There will be wild adventures by persons in this pool that cause an international incident tonight.’ Innocuously phrased, yet almost prophetic.

  “All in favor of banning Tsunade Senju or any proxies from betting in any future pools, raise your hand?” The show of hands was unanimous.

[wlwhc]

Anon ask: Nat came back from a mission,  and is acting weird,  she's very clingy and doesn’t want to leave your side, she will also won't stop telling you that she loves you. When you ask her about her weird behavior,  she will try to change the subject. Later on the day Clint tells you that she’s like that cause she saw a girl that looked like you being torture on the mission, a lot of fluff plz (sorry English is not my mother language)

Warning: Swearing. I think that’s all :D

(A/N): THIS SHIT IS LONG. I’ve struggle with this so much Idk why, I hope I didn’t screw up ;u;

Words: 2.6k+

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“Where are you going?” Nat asked for the fifth time in this 30 minutes. She didn’t want to let you go , you two are tangled in the sheets, her face hide on the crook of your neck, it was perfect , but it was getting late, and you needed food to function, but every time that you tried to escape from her grip she hold you even tighter whispering an unbelievable sweet “please stay a little more”. Natasha wasn’t this kind of person, yeah sometimes she could get a little clingy, but beg? like this? , she even refused to train with you, she loves to train with you. You knew that something was wrong, but didn’t want to ask. You learn to let her come to you when she was ready to talk about whatever thing was disturbing her, otherwise, she will deny everything and avoid you like the pest.

“Nat, babe we need to get up, Steve is going to kill us, we are already late for traini-”

“Steve won’t bother us because he knows who to mess with” Nat murmur on your neck, leaving a little peck on it. “and that’s not us”

“Can I least bring some food? or We can go out for something to ea-”

“No. We are going to stay here...safe” The last word was almost like a whisper that you were lucky to hear. Safe from what?. You were going to ask but decided to just forget about it, she wasn’t going to tell you anyway.

“Okay, I’ll make breakfast then” You said trying to get out of her grip again. Nat huff at this but let go of you, she was scared to let you go out of her sight, she didn't want you to end up like that girl on her last mission.

What mission? you may ask, the mission that is not letting her sleep in peace, the same mission that is making her behave so weird, same mission that she wished she could erase from her mind.

“Wow so bad?” Yes, that bad.

Clint and Nat were sent to retrieve a hostage. It wasn’t a hard mission at all, but they found a few difficulties, 24 to be exact. 24 difficulties from different countries, with different ages, and gender...slaves. Nat and Clint got to save almost all of them, except for that girl, that girl who was so identical to you, Natasha could swear she even walked like you, smile like you, cry like you...scream like you. She saw you being tortured, she saw you die there, or at least that's what her brain told her. Clint had to drag her away from the girl’s dead body, He never saw her cry like that before. Nat came back from that mission and immediately ran to your room. She found you sleeping, her mind calms down after seeing you so peaceful and most important, alive. The was sun shining through the curtains, making your skin bright and her heart swell with butterflies.She got close to you, being careful not to wake you up, she laid down with her head on your chest, wrapping her arms around you, taking a minute to listen to your steady heartbeat.

“she’s here..she’s okay..she’s alive” Those words were repeating in her mind almost like a mantra. “she’s safe”. A few minutes later you woke up by the feeling of a pair of lips wandering on your neck, followed by a hand stroking your cheek. She didn’t say anything and you didn’t need any words to know that the mission didn’t go well, so you just stay there, letting her love you. But at some point, you had to get out of the bed, which leads us to Nat following you to the bathroom like a lost puppy.

“Omg,  I actually got you out of bed!” You said, she sends you a little glare

“we eat, and then we get back to bed”

“Nope, we are going to train and then we are going to go out with the other guys, today is bonding night remember? something about trying Shawarma, I don’t know what they say ‘try', we already try that and Steve threw up, aaaand that’s exactly why we are going” You said while starting to brush your teeth.

“we don’t need to go, we can stay here” Nat said hugging you from behind, resting her head on your shoulder.

“babe, even Clint is going and he’s taking her wife! , and Steve! Steve will throw up again, I bet with Clint”

“yeah but-”

“no buts, we’re going because without us they are going to kill each other you know that” You said now making your way to the kitchen, with Nat right behind you.

“we could stay here, and order some food instead of that thing that I’m not going to call food” She said almost making sad puppy eyes, “SAD PUPPY EYES! , since when she does that?!” you thought

“why are you so determined to stay here?”

“because I want some time alone with my girlfriend, is that a crime?” Nat said. “hey let me help you with that” She said grabbing the pan you were holding

“are you sure is just for that? you know you can tell me anything right?” You said, she didn't answer you so you grabbed the pan making her glare at you. “..right?”

“yes I know, now let me cook, I didn’t get up from the bed for nothing” She said, getting back at cooking. She may think that she is hiding pretty well her feelings, but you knew her better than the palm of your hand, and right now, she’s worried, but why?.

After a few minutes of thinking how you could make her tell you what was wrong, you give up, and decided to ask Clint about it later, he has to know.

It was already late night and Nat got you on a strong grip again, her legs straddling you. her hands trying to unzip the dress that she had chosen for you a few minutes ago, something told you that she had chosen that dress on purpose cause in a flick of her hand, the dress was on the floor while kissing your neck, her lips sending shivers through your spine. It was settled, she won, you weren’t going to go out, she got you...or that’s what she thinks.

Clint was getting worried for her friend, he knew that the mission will have consequence, but he didn’t hear about agents complaining of broken bones, or Steve being on the med-bay cause Natasha got a little too enthusiastic while training, he actually didn’t even saw her training today, same thing with you. He decided to go to talk to her friend, to see if everything was fine, and to also ask you about the bet on Steve.

Nat was almost getting what she wanted, you. She already succeeds on taking off your dress, your body without any wound or scar, the only mark on your skin that you will get was from her lips. She could have done that, but someone had the brilliant idea of knocking at her door, making you escape from her grip to see who was. You grab one of her shirts and quickly opening the door, only to find Clint. When he saw your disheveled hair, and that you were wearing the shirt backward, a big smirk covered his face.

“well, I hope I didn’t interrupt you guys”

“it’s okay Clin-”

“no, it’s not okay!” Nat scream from the room waiting for you to come

“you were looking for Nat?” You asked him

“yeah, I didn’t see her all day, neither you, I was starting to get worried, but now I see that you guys were just having fun” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“In did we had” You said, blushing a little

“Just close the door on his face Y/N!” Nat said again. She didn't want to talk to Clint, he probably will ask her how she was, and you will hear and she didn’t want that.

“Rude!” Clint scream back. “well, I’m glad you two are okay, I’m guessing you are not coming to see Steve enjoying his Shawarma”

“Unfortunately no, Nat didn’t want to go, and she convinced me somehow” You said

“She didn’t want to go?” Clint asks, trying to get a little more information of why her friend didn't want to see Steve trying hitTony for his bad taste on food.

“I don’t know, she didn't let me get out of the room either, we basically stay in bed all day cuddling” You said.

“that’s weird…” Clint mumbled, it wasn’t actually weird, he knew why The fierce and scary Black Widow was behaving like a soft flower with you, but he didn’t want to tell you either , that’s something that Nat had to do, although that doesn’t mean he couldn’t give a little clue of why.

“Yeah.. she’s acting weird but every time I ask her what’s wrong with her, she changes the subject” You said, hoping that he could tell you something.

“well I don’t know kid , maybe you should ask her more..” Clint said “maybe ask her about today’s mission”

“Clint I want my girlfriend back!” Nat yelled

“you should go, Don’t have too much fun” Clint said, adding a wink at the end of his sentence.

“I’ll try” You mumble. Okay, now you knew what could possibly be wrong with your girlfriend. Normally when one of you had a bad mission or a very bad time on the mission, you would talk about it, it was Nat’s rule. So if either of you were having a bad time, the other will be there for comfort. But why Nat didn’t want to talk about it?, it has to be a  really bad. Your worried thoughts running around your head didnt let you realize when two arms sneak their way to your waist and a pair of lips begin to nibble your right ear.

“you should have close the door on his face” She said while hugging you tighter.

“hmm” You mumble. You were still a little too immersed in your thought. Nat notice that and turn you around, taking a look at your worried expression.

“what’s wrong babe?” She asks cupping your cheek so you could look at her in the eye

“nothing nothing” You said going to the bed. Natasha saw through that lie right away.

“Don't lie to me Y/N Y/L/N, we have a rule here and that is…” She laid down with you, waiting for you to answer.

“ always tell the truth” You said. How ironic, she has been lying to you since the first ‘are you okay Nat?’. You sat down on the bed and looked at Nat right into her eyes.

“I need you to be honest with me…” You said. ‘Oh crap’ Nat thought but nodded anyway.

“...are you okay?” You ask softly, making Nat’s heart cry in pain. She wasn’t okay, she was worried and scared, she was fucking terrified to let you walk out the door, she is not okay, but she didn’t want to make you worry too much. She was going to lie once again, you knew it, but you could see her eyes turning glassy, and the deep breath she took.

“Don't you dare to lie Natasha, we have one rule which is…” You said, grabbing her face on your hands trying to make her look at you instead of her hands. Nat was trying hard not to let her facade fall down but the memory of that girl...you all bloody on the floor make her break down, a sob got stuck in her throat. You quickly wrap her in your arms, okay now you knew that something was really fucking wrong.

“Nat, babe what happened?...I need to talk to me love” normally you would be the one crying her eyes out in her arms while shivering like a chihuahua, that would be you, pretty often actually. Nat was kind of used to it, you are used to building up your emotion and she knows that sometimes you just break down, she will be there to comfort you. But now, she is the one with the knot in her throat,  and her eyes raining, she wasn’t used to this, neither you, but here we are.

“It’s because of your mission with Clint?” You ask. Her grip on your shirt got tighter, it was definitely about the mission. You decided to let her cry as much as she needed, you were hugging her and leaving a kiss here and there. A few minutes later she stops crying, the sobs turned into a weak laugh.

“this may be weird for you, usually you are the one crying” She said, her voice a little horse. You kissed her forehead making her sigh deeply.

“...I saw a girl in the mission...it looked just like you…”

“ Okay, a girl, just like me okay...wait what?” You thought

“...They kidnapped her to take information, and later sell her as a slave..”

“Slave? we’re in 21st century” you thought

Nat saw your shocked face.

“Yeah babe, this world still has slaves” She said. “...they torture her, we couldn’t save her.. I couldn’t save her, I-I just blink and she-...She looked like you, exactly like you...you died...I saw you died” She explained, each word tearing your heart apart. Now, all make sense.

“Nat” You called “Nat that wasn’t me, I’m safe, and alive, you know that It’s really hard to kill me,  I’m too stubborn to die” You said, making her giggle

“that’s true, but-”

“ah-ah” you scold her putting your finger on her lips, preventing her from saying another word. “no buts Nat, I’m not going to die, and you don’t have to worry about my safety , we are living in a building filled with superheroes, if is not Clint who is following me, its Pietro or Steve, I’m safe” You said, taking a pause to kiss those soft lips, melting Natasha’s heart. “plus, I’m too badass to even get hurt” You said, earning a laugh from the assassin

“Says the one who had the record of broken bones, you are there almost as much as Clint” She said, smiling at you.

“that’s what I want to see, that beautiful smile” You said kissing her again, and again, and again. “ we were in a middle of something a few minutes ago” You said to her.

“Don't you wanna go to eat shawarma?” She asked you with a playful tone

“Nah , I watch Steve chase Tony on a daily basis, that can wait” You started to kiss her neck.”I need to make my girlfriend feel better”.

And so the night went by, with Nat soft moans, her pink lips traveling through every fiber of your body and love being plastered on the bed sheets. But her heart never got to erase that feeling, that fear that one day you may slip through her finger, she was scared, she will always be scared...Scared of losing you.

Hope you like it guys!

[shianhygge-imagines]

REQUEST: Hardships Included [Wrench/Reader]

Last update for the weekend, since I’ll be out for a long while for Chinese New Year celebrations. 

This one was weird for me to write, as I usually write for the reader to be more gung ho and feisty when confronted with a conflict... (unless it involves feelings. It’s okay to feel like you have to run from feelings...) As a result, I had to tweak my writing to suit the prompt. I hope it’s not too terrible.

|Masterlist|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a simple note on your desk at work that did it. A simple blue sticky note attached to a manilla folder with the words “Leave the country, or I’ll tell everyone what you did” written on it. For many people, the folder was unassuming and normal, not even remotely considered packed with pages. No. It was the title on the folder’s tab that had you running for the hills.

The Masquerade Incident.

~~~~~~~~~

It was something you wanted to forget. An incident that happened when you were a young teenager, barely 14 years of age. When you closed your eyes, you could sometimes recall the face of that man. The man you helped kill that night.

You weren’t supposed to be at Masquerade, not only because of your young age, but because your parents always conducted business there when they weren’t supposed to. The club was always packed even when you were young, and the married couple who owned it always established clear rules to their customers. Still, your parents didn’t pay attention to the rules and decided to hold meetings at Masquerade. The people that your parents dealt with were unseemly and shady, yet despite the warnings by both your parents and the club owners, you managed to sneak into the club one night.

The world was full of sick people, but you had yet to know that. The club looked lively. Various people of different social classes danced to the beat of the music, indulging in the drinks that the bar provided. You tried your best not to be seen that night, but the one of the club owners, Chikage, ended up spotting you after twenty minutes. Your first instinct, upon seeing the tall man’s intimidating red glare was to turn around and bolt. But when you did, you’d collided with a man with slicked back brown hair, dark shades, and an expensive suit. The man stumbled, his drink tipping over to stain his suit, and he glared at you.

Before you knew it, the man was angrily dragging you towards the bathrooms, growling that he would teach you a lesson. The people within the club didn’t seem to care that a young teenager was about to get beaten in the bathrooms, only carrying out their business with a blind eye. From the distance, you could see Chikage gently maneuvering through the crowd to find you, and you had tried to catch his attention. Chikage was scary, but he was kind, and you’d take a scolding from Chikage and Isa over getting beaten or killed by a stranger any day. But you were too late in crying out, getting thrown into the bathroom by the man. You fought back, throwing punches and kicks as the man descended upon you, trying to grab your neck. Unfortunately, the man was much larger than you and had easily overpowered you, sadistically pinning you down and choking you out.

You had grabbed at anything within reach, eventually catching hold of the end of the trash can and bringing it down on the man, prompting him to let go enough for you to slip past and take hold of the metal handled mob, bringing it down on the man as he was getting up. The adrenaline pumping through you made you bring the metal handle up and down in many quick successions even though you had long cracked the man’s skull. And you didn’t stop until your small form had been engulfed in two warm arms, and someone stopped you from bringing the pole down on the man again.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Y/N. The bad man won’t hurt you anymore.” Isa gently whispered to you, stroking your head. You glanced up at the arm that stopped you from continuing the violence against the man.

Chikage only gazed at you with bored but kind red eyes before addressing his fiance. “Isa, take the child up to the second floor. I’ll take care of the body.” You wanted to speak because the man on the floor was still making noise, but a look from Chikage shut you up, his red eyes looking like they were glowing in the dim light of the bathroom. “Not a word of this to anyone, Y/N. If anyone related to this man found out about what you did, everyone you know will be in danger. So let me take care of this scum.” You nodded in understanding and moved with Isa. As Isa led you out of the bathroom, Chikage caught her arm and gently pressed a kiss to the side of her head, “I’ll be with you soon, my love.”

It was only years later that you understood the true meaning behind Chikage’s words. The man that attacked you had been incredibly dangerous, and if he had been left alive despite all the damage you did to his skull, you would be putting yourself, your family, your friends, Chikage, and Isa in danger. But Chikage and Isa had erased all trace of the man’s body all those years ago. How did anybody know that you were involved in the murder?

You pondered this as you made your way to the Hackerspace. The first idea that came to your mind was to do as the note on the folder had instructed. If you didn’t leave the country immediately, there was no telling what would happen to the people closest to you. And as a result, you were on your way to see you closest friends. You had to leave DedSec.

“Wrench…” He was so good to you, your boyfriend, and he would no doubt fight you on your decision. He would fight and kill if it meant keeping you by his side after all. But you’d hesitate in involving him or the other members of DedSec in another problem on top of the work you guys did against Blume. No. That would be burdening them, and you didn’t want to do that.

Waving hello to the few employees of the game store that covered for the Hackerspace, you quietly strolled into the back room, glancing around before activating the trap door into the basement. You smiled fondly at the artwork across from the doorway and slowly made your way down the stairs, pausing just before you rounded the corner, physically preparing yourself for what would come next. And when you resumed walking, a body collided with yours, and you found yourself pressed to the wall as your boyfriend lifted his mask to give you a loving kiss.

With the mask hanging off the top of his head when he pulled back, you could only see the bottom of Wrench’s nose and smile, “I missed you, babe.” the anarchist confessed with a pout before going back to smiling, kissing you again.

You giggled against Wrench’s soft lips and wrapped your arms around his neck, “If I didn’t leave occasionally, you’d get bored of me, hun. And we can’t have that.” you teased, pressing a kiss at the crook of his neck.

Wrench moaned in delight, “Oooh, don’t tempt me, Y/N. The others won’t like it if I lose control.” And then, Wrench pulled away, “But first of all, I want to know why you bought a one way ticket to Sweden.” The sudden change in mood startled you into turning your head away, and Wrench clicked his tongue disapprovingly, sliding the mask back onto his face properly. “Babe, if there’s something wrong, you have to let me know, okay?” The mask changed, ( /_\ ) and Wrench’s voice seemed sad, “It’s not something I did, right?”

All at once, your boyfriend’s posture changed to that of a kicked puppy, ready for punishment… ready to retreat into himself. And you didn’t like it when Wrench was sad in any way, and you certainly didn’t like it when the man felt like you were upset with him. Immediately, you had your boyfriend in a tight embrace, “No. You didn’t do anything wrong, Wrench. It was me.”

“‘It’s not you, it’s me’ huh?” Wrench’s voice seemed despondent, “That’s what they all say before they lea-”

“I’m not breaking up with you, Wrench.” you insisted firmly, tightening your embrace to emphasis. “I’d never…” you whispered into the studded vest, pressing closer despite your cheek’s discomfort. “I love you too much.” It was quiet, your declaration of love, but Wrench heard it regardless, and his arms were around you once again.

“Then why are you leaving?” ah, the million dollar question.

Taking in a deep breath, you sighed and began your explanation about the events at Masquerade all those years ago, and the subsequent blackmail folder this morning. “I didn’t want to bother any of you, so I decided to comply with the blackmailer’s terms.” You glanced away from your boyfriend and the rest of DedSec, who had gathered around to listen to your explanation. “I just didn’t want to inconvenience any of you.”

Everyone was silent for a few moments before Marcus came up to you with a solemn look on his face. You thought that perhaps you would be asked to leave when Marcus lightly fist bumped your forehead, earning a yelp from you. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” Marcus grinned and ruffled your hair, “You’re problems aren’t an inconvenience. And if that fucker thinks that they can get away with blackmailing you, then they’re in for a wake up call. Josh?”

“I’m already searching through the security footage.” Josh was at his computer in a flash, typing away.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. You won’t have to leave the US.” Sitara winked before turning around and going back to work.

Ray merely grinned, tipping his hat at you, “Looks like your friends have your back, so don’t be afraid to rely on them, kid.”

“Y/N.” Wrench gently turned your face back to him, his back facing the rest of DedSec as he took his mask off to look you in the eyes. There was determination shining in his blue green orbs, and love. “You remember what I said when we first started dating right?”

You furrowed your brows in thought before you smiled fondly at your boyfriend, nodding, “Yeah. I remember.”

Taking your face in his hands, Wrench brought you in for a passionate kiss. Pulling back, he muttered, “I love you, Y/N. So believe me when I make my promises. I’ll always be by your side-”

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the embrace.

“-hardships included.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

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